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sinceileftyoublog · 2 years

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FaltyDL Interview: A Conversation With Myself

BY JORDAN MAINZER

At a time when playing club music was untenable, Drew Lustman was halfway out the door anyway. The New York-based producer and electronic musician, known as FaltyDL, had been making great house and garage-inspired electronic music for over a decade, including his 2016 career best Heaven Is for Quitters. Increasingly, even as his audience grew, he grew out of the dance music world, his creative expressions more introspective as he wished to connect with people as individuals rather than crowds as collectives. Stints writing with Mykki Blanco helped Lustman step outside of his comfort zone and find his voice as an auteur, and watching Blanco collaborate with other artists helped subside a lot of Lustman’s fears of reaching out to musicians he admired. Ultimately, when clubs closed, it was the final straw rather than the instigator: Lustman was ready to start again, from almost quitting music to reinventing himself. The result is A Nurse to My Patience, released earlier last month on his imprint Blueberry Records.

While A Nurse to My Patience is notable in the music world in general for being chock full of some of the finest experimental and rock musicians of the past twenty years, it’s even more notable within FaltyDL’s catalog itself. That is, it’s the first time Lustman has written lyrics and sung on record. He therapeutically reflects on his club-centered anxiety on “Berlin”, describing the false highs (“In my mind I feel like a king”) and the comedowns (“Now I’m feeling nothing / Stretched out like a starfish on a bed”). The video of first single “Four Horses” shows Lustman at different stages of his career, reflecting on his own mortality, singing gently around sinewy guitar lines. Julianna Barwick provides elegiac background vocals, as if an omniscient narrator to Lustman’s life. “A Vow” sees all of his insecurities rise to the surface, while “One Way Or Another” is warm collaboration with Blanco, this time on a FaltyDL record. Add in Medicine’s Brad Laner on the squealing electric guitar noise jam “XTOC”, Interpol’s Paul Banks on the sprechgesang techno of “Come See Us”, Gang Gang Dance’s Brian DeGraw on the wincing “Doves Fears”, and Hot Chip’s Joe Goddard on new wave anthem “God Light”, and you’ve got one of the most varied records of the year, let alone in FaltyDL’s already deep catalog.

Earlier this year, I spoke with Lustman over the phone from his home studio in Bed-Stuy in Brooklyn, the very place where he made A Nurse to My Patience. Though he’s immensely proud of the record, he always sports a sense of perspective, which at worst can come in the form of admitted navel-gazing self-doubt but at best contemplation on the impact his music has. “I’m constantly having a conversation with myself about the art I’m making, whether it’s good, and why I’m making it,” Lustman said.

Read the rest of our conversation below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: The pandemic catalyzed your exit from the club world, but what about the dance scene was grinding your gears?

Drew Lustman: That’s a good way to put it. It’s a huge question I don’t have definitive answers to because I don’t want to close the door on club music in my life. I want to make more of it and get inspired by it from time to time. But I wasn’t having fun touring and traveling, and I stopped listening to club music quickly in succession with that, and then I stopped making it as much. I’m of two minds about being in clubs, unless I really want to be there. I feel kind of awkward being there--it’s just sort of a job. I also didn’t like the way DJing was going in general, with all of the focus on the DJ, everyone on the dance floor just sort of staring at the DJ, and I’m just playing songs back to back. It felt like it was stroking my ego in a way I didn’t want or feared in the end. I have a lot of friends who are very successful DJs, and I find myself looking at them and thinking, “Oh, that would be dope if I got back into touring and built it up like they did.” But it feels weird.

It’s carried into even this [material.] I don’t plan on performing this album at all. Sometimes, I finish a performance and DJ set and feel so good, but I ultimately crash the next day. I’m totally sober when I’m DJing and the next day, but I don’t feel fulfilled by it. It takes a certain time in your life or set of circumstances to really be down with that type of experience. I haven’t outgrown it, because I don’t think I’m above it, but I think I’ve sidestepped it. It doesn’t tickle me in the same way.

SILY: Around the 2010s, there was definitely a major shift from the DJ as a provider of experience to “star” DJs where it was less about dancing in a club around other people and more about watching the person playing the music.

DL: Yeah. I don’t want to speak for anyone else and say it doesn’t have its place. Clearly, it works. It’s so popular and has such a huge ecosystem that seems to only be growing. It’s kind of one of the last self-sustaining musical models. Even bigger bands can’t make a living touring anymore. There are so many people involved, that at the end of the day, the take-home is very small, plus travel, and all that. The DJs you see that are very successful are also like unicorns: There’s not many you see on that level. I remember doing a lot of tours when I first started that looked great and were super fun, and I’d come home and would be at a loss. My cellphone bill would clear me out. I hope it’s there when I want to return to it in a positive way, but it’s not doing it for me right now.

SILY: So would you say A Nurse to My Patience is a headphones record?

DL: Yeah, for sure. In one way, because it won’t be performed live, but if I can extend “headphones” to any sort of home listening, then yes. I did make it on really big monitors and bump it loud when I play it in the car. I think my music was always this solo trip, to be enjoyed by yourself in a way, not excluding any sort of communal club experience. I do hope that people put it on and form some sort of personal relationship with it and it helps them in some way that can only really be done on your own.

SILY: At what point did you decide to try your hand at writing lyrics and recording yourself singing?

DL: Working with Mykki was really encouraging. This figure entered my life, and we started recording music together. Before we even knew each other well, there was this level of comfort that was set in the studio where Mykki would take on these various characters and sing in various ways. It was very freeing to feel like I could be different versions of myself, too, at various moments. By the time I decided to try singing on one of the tracks--I was thinking, if I could do every other aspect of the song, from writing and creating to mixing and producing--it would be cool if I could sing on it, too. These lyrics poured out of me. I developed my own techniques to try to get my voice to sound good, because I’m not really a trained singer, either.

SILY: Had you ever written lyrics or sung before, independent of whether it was recorded?

DL: Not so much, but I was helping Mykki write some of the hooks and a few lyrics and suggesting things. Just seeing that process firsthand demystified a bit of it for me. Also, they make it look so easy because they’re very good at it and have been writing poetry and singing for such a long time. What it takes for me to try anything is to see someone do it in a way it doesn’t seem like a struggle.

SILY: At what point did you decide to involve Mykki and all of these collaborators in your songs?

DL: There’s a good story for each one. Mykki was easy--we had already made upwards of 30 songs together, so I just texted them. The way Mykki was rapping on my track, we were in New York, wrapping things up, making a radio edit of one of the songs from last year’s record. I started getting really tired, and Mykki was like, “Drew, I’m only here for one more hour, what do you want to do?” So I played a song from the album, and Mykki was like, “That’s it!” They wrote the lyrics right there and rapped it, and it was done in an hour.

Brad Laner was someone I’ve been listening to for a very long time. He’s released music on Planet Mu under a couple different names, and so did I. That label has an ecosystem where you can reach out to others that have had a similar experience and talk about what it’s like being there. It was very easy to reach out to Brad--we started collaborating over the pandemic. I’d send stems over, and Brad would send back a whole bunch of guitar and synth parts. We have a whole lot more we’re working on--hopefully there’s a whole project between the two of us.

Julianna Barwick, I just cold-emailed her. She got back really enthusiastic and recorded a bunch on two tracks. I couldn’t decide which one I liked more, so I included both of them on the album.

Paul Banks, I reached out to through management, and he was the first big feature to come in. I’ve been sitting on "Come See Us” for a good two years, now. His vocals were in my inbox two weeks after we reached out. I think the stars aligned: Paul was probably home during the pandemic, between recording stuff for Interpol and Muzz, that the timing was right. I thought, “I’ve got Paul Banks on the album, I’m doing something right.”

Joe Goddard, I also reached out to through management, and he responded really positively. We’ve had a few correspondences in the past here and there, having remixed similar artists and shared sides of a 12". I’ve been a fan of Hot Chip and Joe’s solo stuff. A couple things he’s done have really resonated with me over the years. The label Joe was helping run, Greco-Roman, they were a fan of mine, so my name was rolling around the office there. They had my records up on the wall.

These songs took their time, but it was cool because nobody was going anywhere, and after a couple months, I had all these parts. I sang the bridge on Joe’s track, “God Light”. It was like a little duet with Joe.

Brian DeGraw is another New York musician with notoriety, from Gang Gang Dance to his own beautiful solo work and painting. A truly multi-disciplinary artist. Bryan remixed me years ago on my Hardcourage album. He’s also helped me with some video work over the years. I just hit him up! We were both home and able to send stems back and forth quickly. Because he’s in New York, I’d love to do a lot more work with him.

So it was a mix of cold-calling people and contact people through management. There were folks I reached out to that said no or didn’t respond. I’m no stranger to hearing no or getting no response, so I thought, “Let’s just go out another circle. Who else is available?”

SILY: I can’t imagine “Come See Us” without Paul’s voice. It’s so unmistakable and fits the music very well. Same with “God Light” and Joe. That sort of drum machine-laden, new wave/post-punk with the bass and guitar and his British accent, it sounds like a song from the 80s. Did you have these collaborators in mind for those specific tracks, or did you want to work with them no matter what?

DL: I sent a few tracks at a time and let them pick the ones they liked the most. When I was making the tracks and thought, “This could use a vocal,” then the names started floating around. The only way I’ve been able to make music, whether for myself or someone else, is to start the song as if it’s just for me. It’s kind of selfish, but it’s the only way I can stay focused and give it my all and not cut corners. I’m making it as closed, for myself, following some sort of compass. As it shakes out, I think, “Could I involve someone else or invite someone else on?” That’s kind of new, to be honest. My music was always a solo thing.

SILY: A song like “A Vow” has just you on it. Is that a more personal song?

DL: The songs “A Vow” or “Berlin” both have very straightforward meanings. “Berlin” is about going on tour, becoming someone else, feeling anxious, and being in Berlin and how that’s always made me kind of anxious for various reasons. “A Vow” is about how I feel about myself at my worst. I’m really beating myself up in that song: “I received a letter / Everyone thinks I’m a loser / It’s clear now / My place is in the rear now.” That’s the aging musician thinking they’ve had a really good run and that they can still make music but they have to take a new form. It’s not bad, it’s just how it goes. I was talking to someone the other day, and they said, “If you can get 10 years in music, that’s incredible.” Here I am, pushing my way through half of my second 10 years, and I agree with it, but you can keep going as long as you want. What you want out of it and what you can get out of it sort of changes.

SILY: The beat on “One Hitter” reminds me a lot of LCD Soundsystem’s “Losing My Edge”, whose themes are basically what you just said.

DL: Yeah. That was an influence. So was a Caribou track. I thought I always liked LCD a lot, maybe it was a little...

SILY: Too on the nose?

DL: Well, at the time it came out, I was into harder things like jungle and drum and bass, so I found most pop and rock a little too clean. But the energy is sort of similar, and the rhythm is definitely a “Losing My Edge” rhythm.

SILY: What about touring made you dislike it so much?

DL: I didn’t like it for a very long time. I toured my ass off from 2009-2015. I did about 150 gigs, went to Europe 10 times a year, went to Asia, South America, really got all over the place. As I settled in, got a bit older, got into a relationship, and had a kid on the way, life changed in various ways where I didn’t want to be away. I did start to develop some separation anxiety where it got harder. I was playing bigger rooms to more people and bigger fees, but I was getting more and more anxious traveling and leaving. It’s like I have a little PTS from touring, but there was no singular traumatic event. Over the years, I started feeling, “This isn’t what I want to do, but I’m going to keep doing it because it is what I do.” I built the skillset, but staying and doing something I didn’t want to do caused it to become this grating thing. I’m having to figure out other ways to make a living, which is fine because I want to grow as a person and acquire new skills.

SILY: Who sings on “Zoo Jarre”?

DL: I’m singing the vocals, but all of the [mimics laughter] is my girlfriend. I recorded her having a conversation and pitched it up and changed the decay and the sustain so it’s all chopped up and percussive. I put a phaser on it and stereo expander, all this stuff to make it sound that way. It’s a nod to Jean-Michel Jarre’s Zoolook where he does some really awesome vocal manipulation.

SILY: On “Play A Little Rough With Me”, you’re basically rapping. Is that something you learned from working with Mykki?

DL: [laughs] It’s funny, I listened to my cadence at some point and thought it definitely sounded like I was rapping. I don’t want to say that it’s rapping. It’s more like talk-singing in a Frank Zappa way. But it’s fair to say I’m rapping. I do not view myself as a rapper. I had written a lot of songs where I wrote a verse and repeated one hook, and I thought, “Let me write two long verses.” They’re mirror images of each other; one is a mirror image of the other verse. That track almost didn’t make it. My girlfriend was saying, “It’s gotta go on!” It’s the one I feel the most self-conscious about.

SILY: Are you self-conscious about it for its themes or how it sounds? It’s a very intimate song.

DL: That’s funny. I feel like I’m being goofy there. I feel goofy singing, “Let’s grow old together and get a home” and then saying, “Come play a little rough with me and let’s not live together.” That’s sort of the two vibes. It’s totally fine--it’s not even about my relationship. But the vocal delivery makes me feel a little cringe. It all does. I can’t listen to this anymore.

SILY: Really?

DL: A little bit! I’ve been working on it for so long. I keep putting it on, 5 seconds of a track, and asking myself, “This is still good, right?” I then realize, “Yeah, it’s good, it’s good, it’s okay, it’s fine.” I’d rather get to work on the next thing.

SILY: Was this album something you just needed to get out of your system in order to make another pivot? Or is it the start of something new for you?

DL: I think it’s the start of something new. I have the outline of what could be a follow-up record next year, with a couple remixes of these tracks and some new stuff in a similar frame. I’m moving towards a King Crimson-esque, heavier rock sound at the moment. I was just looking at violins on Craigslist. I want to get a violin, prepare it, and play it. I’m paring back my music more and more to the point where my next album could be ambient. Once I got out of the club circuit, I became okay with the fact that if I don’t release club music, I won’t get DJ gigs. Now that I’m becoming okay with that, I have less ego involved and can do whatever I want musically. In the club world, you’re only as good as the last record you’ve released. You can release a bangin’ 12" and tour on it forever, but if you then release something that’s not as good, it might affect your bookings. I assume that’s the same way with everything. But if you don’t care about bookings, you’re so free. You can do whatever you want. If you’re constantly reintroducing yourself, it can be hard for the press to connect the dots. That’s the gamble. But my favorite artists are always taking different turns here and there.

SILY: What’s the meaning behind the record title?

DL: Two things. It’s a line from a Fanny Howe poem. She’s listing a whole bunch of things, and it’s one of the things she lists. I read it during the pandemic and really connected with it. One of the reasons this album took so long is I started taking a little advice from folks that I should wait for the Mykki music to come out, and then my music afterwards, and it was very music industry, business-oriented advice. It was the antithesis of my artistic inclinations, which is to make stuff and release it so I can make more stuff and release that. I needed this thing to keep me busy, and the album became a nurse to my patience. It was this thing I would dive into. If I wasn’t going to see Mykki for a month or two, I needed something else to get my mind off that.

SILY: What’s the story behind the cover art?

DL: I did a photo session with James Hartley for some photos for the Studio Barnhus EP. We got along so well, I wanted to work together again. I thought if I was making a rock record, I’ve always loved classic rock albums that have the artist on the cover. You don’t see it as much in electronic music. I really wanted to be on the cover with a guitar in some way. We did this whole photoshoot and did these double exposures. When the cover photo was taken, when the guitar slides left and right around my head, we saw it quickly and knew it right away. As it was, it was a little throwback and needed more, so I took it to my friend Scot Bendall from the design house La Boca, who has done a bunch of my covers in the past. I asked for some type around it, and they came back quickly with this cut-out idea of the photo with lettering on top. They’ll always show me 10 options, and each is incredible and really hard to choose from, and each one is improved upon a week later, and it keeps going until one stands out.

SILY: How long have you been playing the various instruments you play on this record?

DL: There’s been one or two samples of me playing instruments on songs in the past that I treat as more like found sound. This is more deliberate playing. Bass and guitar, I started when I was around 11 or 12. Piano, here and there. During the pandemic, I went back to my dad’s house and raided his basement where I have a bunch of my instruments. Once I built this studio, I wanted to get stuff I had in storage in his house. I brought back three basses, and electric guitar, and a full speaker stack. I had my piano already that I’ve been paying on installments. I just started playing these instruments every single day. My callouses came back. Muscle memory is incredible--I hadn’t played guitar in years but I was fine doing all these scales and things I was doing back when I was playing as a kid. The callouses are subcutaneous again, and I feel legit. I feel more comfortable on a bass than on a synthesizer at this point.

SILY: Anything you’ve been listening to, reading, or watching that’s caught your attention?

DL: I just watched The Bear on Hulu and Nope, which is incredible. My favorite Jordan Peele film so far. Fantastic movie making. The soundtrack is almost this classic Western, Indiana Jones-esque sound, but updated.

I’m not listening to a whole lot of stuff because I’m trying to make a lot of music right now.

SILY: Do you not want to be steered a certain way by outside listening when you’re actively making music?

DL: I’m becoming a bad artist in that I’m loosening my grip in the time I spend creating and becoming more of a consumer. I give this advice to young artists all the time. Turn your phone off, don’t look at Twitter when you’re making music. Only have your software open. I’m not listening to that advice anymore, maybe because I’m in this moment where I’m releasing this record and have to switch my brain from creative mode to explaining mode. I hope to get back on track in a good rhythm; if I don’t make a song in a while, I start to feel crummy. It starts to affect every aspect of my life. It’s like a steam release valve. I have to prove to myself I can do it. It’s perverse, because clearly, I’ve done it many times, but it doesn’t matter how many times, because if I can’t do it again, I’ve lost it. It’s a little bit like torturing myself.

SILY: Were you always planning on releasing this record on your own label, or did you pitch it to other labels?

DL: I did pitch it to a few and got very far with a couple labels. But if I’m unwilling to tour and do some of the things other labels want you to do--and we didn’t even get that far--I thought I’d upset the folks who’d spend a bunch of money and time and see me only promote it in ways I feel comfortable with. I hope it would be successful on its own, and maybe I was shooting myself in the foot before discovering whether they’d liked it. There’s always a part of me that fantasizes about being signed again to a label. I’ve had good experiences on labels. It’s amazing having a huge team doing a worldwide press push like on my Ninja Tune albums. But I’ve got a great distributor, a good publisher, a friend that helps who is a paid intern, and revolving artists I work with. It’s basically a team. I could use one or two more dedicated people, but I’d have to pay them a salary, and I don’t have that money.

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queen-scribbles · 9 months

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Unwise

Haaaappy birthday to the Blueberry Jedi, as I simultaneously embarrass her and write the last piece standing between her/Arcann and the official "begin a relationship" step. >:3 I've mentioned before that she can be surprisingly horny, right?

---

Her heart pounded in her chest, the pulses of emotion she could sense from him making it beat faster, faster. His fingers brushed the juncture of her hip and she twined a leg over his to keep them close, a kiss pressed to the hollow of her throat had his name falling from her lips on a gasp--

She jerked awake, heart actually pounding, heat still twisting in her core, and very much alone. No company, least of all him.

Stars above, where did that come from?! Endrali wondered. She ran both trembling hands through her hair, clenching them around fistfuls at her nape, then immediately let go as if it had burned her.

Not a good idea with that dream still fresh in her mind's eye. Not that he would ever...

Endrali sat up, tenting her knees, and willed all her focus into clearing her thoughts. Slow, deep breaths. In. Out. She was on a planet full of Force users, some almost as strong as she was; the last thing she wanted was for these emotions to linger long enough someone picked up on them. In. Out. Calm your mind.

The meditative quiet that usually came easy was elusive this time.

She'd never had a dream like that before...

Sparring. That's where this came from, sparring yesterday. Tank tops. More single blade practice for her. Arcann was more comfortable with it now, more convinced it was not an unwise course of action. (The fact she'd playfully shoved him halfway across the room with the Force probably helped. As reassurance.) He'd actually smiled helping her back to her feet when they finished. "You are improving."

That's what had done her in, that smile, she mused. That he was comfortable enough, relaxed enough, to drop his guard around her, if not on the base as a whole.

The--imagined, she reminded herself sternly--memory of fingers tracing skin mingled with the feel of his hand around hers as he hauled her up and Endrali bit her lip. This wasn't helping. She shoved the dream down and buried, but it kept poking through, heat shimmering in her thoughts.

That wouldn't do; someone--stars forbid Arcann or Senya--would pick up on it at this rate. She needed to do something off-planet today, and the sooner she could leave the better. Endrali flicked on the lights and pulled up Alliances messages on her datapad as she dressed.

Right at the first, there was an urgent alert, forwarded by Theron at an hour that tempted Endrali to yell at him about his sleep schedule again--a pirate gang ambushed a patrol and got their hands on Odessen security data. They were selling to the highest bidder, from their base on Tatooine.

Good distance for taking a whole day without keeping her away too long. She finished shrugging on the tan and ochre robes and turned her attention to the main conundrum.

Who did she ask to come along and how did she explain it not being Arcann?

She'd dragged him everywhere for months, because they were friends now, because he'd been first choice for watching her back ever since she realized how well they clicked, because she was comfortable with him. It was going to raise eyebrows if she took someone else along for 'no reason'.

(There was, of course, a very good reason--no way she could hide these emotions from the object of them. But she couldn't say that. 'You didn't do anything wrong, Arcann, I just had a really vivid sex dream about you--us--and need some distance to clear my head!' She valued his friendship and trust too much to blow it apart like that.)

So. She couldn't bring Arcann, for obvious reasons. Couldn't bring Senya, for equally obvious reasons. Lana and any other Sith or Jedi were probably also a bad idea; it was proving nigh impossible to banish the curl of lingering heat. Theron or Vette would notice her agitated state and badger her until she spilled details, Koth and Felix were handling something for Admiral Aygo...

Wish Nadia was here. That would be the perfect solution. She wouldn't mind spilling her guts to her best friend, and Nadia's Force sensitivity was such she'd catch the meaning of any emotion Endrali couldn't put into words.

But she wasn't here. She was Force only knew where, hopefully alright. Safe.

Endrali sighed and ran her fingers along the etched hilt of her dualsaber. Although, thinking of Felix and Nadia turned her thoughts to the rest of her old crew....

Qyzen. Qyzen was here, he wasn't Force aware to pick anything up, and he wouldn't prod for her thoughts. And they'd spent plenty of time fighting together, and he'd done several hunts on Tatooine, which gave him familiarity with the terrain.

Qyzen was perfect. Trusted ally, skilled warrior, perfectly happy following the Scorekeeper's Herald without needless personal questions. Now she just had to track him down and get out of here without running into certain people.

Fingers traced the curve of her spine, metal warm from prolonged contact--

Endrali bit the inside of her cheek, shook her head, tried to take a few deep breaths and push the thought away. And the faster she could get off planet the better. Lingering seemed unwise.

---

Qyzen was, thankfully, not hard to find. He and the Warstalkers tended to keep to the military wing. He did, however, seem surprised by her request.

[Something is wrong, that you need me?] he asked, examining her keenly.

Endrali shook her head, tucking hair behind one ear. "I have to get back some data a pirate gang stole, and they're based on Tatooine. You've hunted there several times, I thought your knowledge of the planet would come in handy."

[Whatever the Herald needs] He inclined his head. [I have all that is needed.]

Her brows twitched and she looked him over again. Sure enough, even for a quiet day on Odessen, he was armored and carried his techblade. "Alright, then."

She thought she caught a glimpse of Arcann as they headed for the Cadence, but didn't dare look, lest her tenuous, desperate grip on those thoughts unravel entirely.

The door whooshed closed behind them, the fresh air a welcome change even if she didn't slow to enjoy it. She did smile at the sight of her snow orchids bobbing in a breeze.

Scarred skin under her wandering touch, down jaw, neck, shoulder. Nails digging in to leave her own marks as they pressed close-

Stop. It. Endrali scolded herself, face hot. She wasn't sure what she'd do for all the empty hours between here and Tatooine, but hopefully she'd find something, or she was in trouble.

---

Arcann happened to reach the hanger bay just in time to catch sight of Endrali, fully dressed and geared, heading toward the door to her personal landing pad.

It was early to be starting for somewhere. Even if the purposeful stride of herself and her Trandoshan friend made it seem important. He hadn't even had time to process Endrali was going somewhere without him when a voice spoke next to him.

"Must be dealin' with the pirates." When he flinched and turned, he saw the underworld liaison. She took his glance as curiosity and elaborated. "Dust Vipers hit a patrol, stole security data. They went to ground on Tatooine while they try to auction it off. Commander must be dealing with it." She cocked her head. "Gotta say, surprised she didn't take you, way you two've been joined at the hip the past few months."

As am I. He buried the thought. "She is free to choose whoever she wishes to accompany her."

Visz snorted. "I know that. She'd just been pickin' you a lot. Guess there's somethin' makes Qyzen a better fit this time." She shrugged and kept walking. Arcann stared at the door that had closed behind Endrali and Qyzen.

He instinctively started combing his memory for anything he had done wrong, then caught himself.

Endrali was not Valkorion. On the--rare--occasions someone hurt or displeased her, she talked to them. The cold shoulder as a punishment was not her way, and it was unwise to let himself worry for no reason.

Driven by curiosity than anything, Arcann reached out through the Force for a sense of her-

-and ran into an impenetrable wall that made his brow furrow. Endrali was never so closed with her emotions. Protecting deeper thoughts, yes, but she'd never barricaded even the surface so tightly, not in all the months since he'd joined the Alliance. And even before.

The dull roar of her ship's engine came through the door, and Arcann waited for it to fade before heading that direction. He'd wanted to meditate(--with her, but that part was not meant to be now--)and she clearly wouldn't need the space.

---

However difficult it was to clear her mind during the journey, Tatooine's heat alone was enough to distract her once they arrived.

[Herald, where is our quarry?] Qyzen asked.

"Oh, um..." Endrali fumbled to pull out the datapad with information. She'd been in such a state she hadn't really focused on anything beyond 'stolen data', 'Tatooine', and that it was urgent enough to get her off Odessen quickly. She could sense Qyzen's concern as he watched her.

[To be unprepared, is unusual.] he said. [Everything is alright?]

"I'm fine," Endrali promised. "Just didn't want to waste time before leaving, this sounded urgent."

Both statements were true, even if the connection wasn't, per se.

Qyzen seemed to accept it, though she wasn't sure if his not pointing out the hours she could've read it en route was decorum or not recognizing the opportunity.

"The Dust Vipers are based in the Dune Sea," Endrali said, finally locating the info in Hylo's report.

[I follow you,] Qyzen said. [Are prepared?]

"Mmhm." She better be, heading into the Dune Sea. It would swallow the unprepared whole, and she didn't want that. So they were prepared, and she would stay focused on the task at hand. They didn't have much on the Dust Vipers and she didn't want to make assumptions of their capabilities.

Hope they're enough of a challenge to satisfy Qyzen and distract me, Endrali thought as the speeder headed out from Anchorhead.

---

She got her wish. While not as tough as Commander Tassar's forces, or fanatical as the Sith on Ord Mantell, the Dust Vipers were no pushovers--through sheer numbers if nothing else.

They must run some recruitment drives, she mused dryly before considering maybe they'd simply pulled all their forces to protect the base, knowing the Alliance would respond. Many of them hadn't been expecting her, personally, to handle it, if their panicked oaths and the ripple of shock in the Force were anything to go by.

It's their bad luck I needed the distraction. Endrali ripped a chunk of rock out of a precipice and hurled it at one set of hasty barricades. It knocked them aside and flattened the pirates using them for cover. Qyzen swept through the new opening to reach more pirates further up the slope.

The catwalks up to this point had been bad enough, doubling back repeatedly to climb the rock face in a zigzag that gave the Vipers a decided advantage. But more rock walls blocked in the climbing path, funneling them in one direction--toward a healthy scattering of pirates, beasts and barricades.

However, Endrali and Qyzen had quickly fallen back in sync, fighting together. (Even if it was a little odd fighting with someone not Force-aware after so long with Arcann--)

None of that, she scolded herself, flinging a pair of pirates into the canyon wall and spinning to cut down another behind her. Not a good idea to undermine the distraction.

They gained the summit and Endrali paused to catch her breath.

[Is all broodlings so far,] Qyzen commented, looking back at the bodies left in their wake. [Barely worth points.]

Endrali chuckled. "They do add up, though. And I'm sure we'll find someone worthy to fight soon; no way they'll let us just waltz inside the walls of their base." She fell silent, nudging the carcass of a sand tusker with her boot.

[What thoughts, Herald?]

"These are known for their hostility," she said half under her breath, "they should be attacking everything, not just us."

Qyzen nodded thoughtfully. [Agreed. Is odd.]

"Maybe if we can figure out what they're doing, we can wreck it, and then the beasts will go after the pirates, too."

[Whatever small prey uses, is unwise to stand against Scorekeeper's Herald,] he said, scanning over the bodies of men and beasts who had paid for doing so.

Endrali smiled and gave a rueful snort. "Am I still Her Herald? I did get captured, wouldn't that...?"

Qyzen paused, the scaly ridges that crested his head twitching, but the clouded eye turned toward her gave nothing away. She knew he still struggled to reconcile that she, the Scorekeeper's Herald, had suffered the highest disgrace--live capture. His reply was measured when it came. [Once, small hunter said to me, not to dwell on points lost, but on reclaiming. Now I say same to you, Herald. Not to worry for lost points--you earn many more. And defeat one who captured you, make him serve.]

She shook her head and chuckled. They'd had this terminology debate before. "He doesn't serve, Qyzen; Arcann's an ally now. A friend."

One she was trying very hard not to think about right now, so they really should change the subject.

[Is sign of strength, boldness, to trust one so long an enemy,] Qyzen said. [Let him enter your den, guard your back.]

"He's earned it," Endrali said softly, tracing channels through the sandy dirt with her boot.

[Have seen is so,] Qyzen nodded. [So I trust Herald's instincts.]

A deep, breathless kiss, her name mumbled low, started creeping back into her thoughts. Endrali shook them off and pushed to her feet. "Right now my instincts are saying to press on before they regroup." It wasn't like resting in the suns heat helped that much.

Qyzen nodded, taking his weapon in hand. [I follow.]

They found the compound gates nearby, guarded by a Kaleesh warrior and flanking pair of scyk. He summoned more beasts to his aid when those were killed, making Endrali think he might have that control method they needed to wreck. When a whole gang of wraids followed the scyk and sandtuskers, she was pretty convinced of it.

The one big change fighting with Qyzen rather than Arcann was Qyzen's penchant for attacking the biggest visible threat, meaning she handled the lesser ones. Her lightsaber hummed and crackled and the air smelt of burned flesh by the time she'd finished off the wraids. She barely had time to assist Qyzen's fight with a few strikes when the Kaleesh's cry of 'To me, to me!' had the earth erupting and a massive sandworm flung itself at Qyzen.

It slammed him into a boulder, he snarled and clawed at it in retaliation. Endrali took over fighting the Kaleesh, deflecting blaster bolts, flinging rocks, until she finished him off.

Qyzen gave a triumphant cry a moment later and when Endrali turned he was yanking his techblade free of the beast's head.

It was in rifling the beastmaster's pockets and pouches she found the small hexagonal transponder. Near as she could tell, this was how he'd controlled the creatures. Figuring Oggurobb would want to have a look at it, she tucked it in a belt pouch and turned her attention to the gates.

They were huge and sturdy. Impregnable, some would say. Endrali reached out with the Force, hefted a boulder thrice the size of her and Qyzen combined, and hurled it at the gates.

Durasteel shrieked and voices clamored beyond as the gates bent, snapped, and caved inwards. The debris and her boulder flattened a few of those closest. It was a good thing they got a moment's respite; throwing something that large so hard took an effort. Endrali swayed, paused for a couple heartbeats to recover before following Qyzen's charge.

She'd just deflected a small barrage of blaster bolts back at the pirates who fired them, the hum of her daulsaber's whirl in her ears, when the sense of danger tugged at the Force. Endrali lunged to the side immediately, tucking herself behind a shipping crate as something small hit where she'd been standing and erupted in flame.

"Guess Jai wasn't as tough as he thought!" a voice rang out. "I'll have to take a crack at ya!"

Endrali reached with the Force to sense where the woman speaking was. Grated ramp to an outbuilding all the way across the workyard. Too far to do anything direct. She still levitated a boulder and threw it in the general direction of the new threat as she curled around the crate to run for Qyzen.

There was the bark of blasters firing in unison, a shower of stone fragments that stung the backs of her arms, and the rapid spitfire of blaster bolts dancing behind her footsteps. Endrali pivoted as she reached Qyzen, spinning her dualsaber to deflect the attack.

"Hey, boys, we got the Commander's attention herself!" the pirate hollered, jumping down from her vantage point. She vanished as she hit the ground, reappearing on an overseer's platform in the middle of the yard, so close Endrali could see her grin as she fired again.

Short range teleport. That was enough of a problem with Force users, where you knew there'd be a short break between shifts so they could regain expended energy. She had no idea what limitation a technological version may or may not have.

[I will take broodlings,] Qyzen said, gaze on the cluster of men who had spilled from the building. [And you the mighty one.] He was moving even before Endrali's nod of confirmation.

She drew on the Force to rush the pirate's position, crossing sand and metal alike in a blink.

The pirate had good reflexes; she dodged the swipe at her chest. Her blasters each spat a shot as she spat a curse--Endrali blocked one, but the other grazed her arm--and she slammed a hand to her belt, vanishing from sight.

Endrali deflected a wild shot from the last of the group Qyzen was fighting and reached with the Force, sensing where the pirate would be even as she reappeared. The pirate flung something and Endrali jumped the railing to avoid it, the chill of flash-cryo at her back as she hit the ground and rolled.

The pirate's new position gave her a clear line of sight on Qyzen, and she grinned as she spun her blasters before lining up a shot. From the glow of the barrels, Endrali didn't need the Force to sense danger. Too far to reach him in time...

"Qyzen!" she hollered in warning, but he didn't seem to hear her. In a last-ditch effort to protect her friend, she threw her dualsaber at the pirate, guiding it with the Force as best she could.

(If it worked for Arcann, it should work for her, even if hers had an extra blade to worry about when catching it.)

One of the whirling blades cut deep into the pirate's back and her shot went wide. Qyzen spun as the large energy bolts slammed the sand next to him.

Endrali caught the returning dualsaber above her head as she ran to close in on the pirate. Qyzen got there first, swinging his techblade in a backhand strike at her gut.

Still reeling from Endrali's thrown saber, the pirate was too slow to fully dodge. Her cry, however, was more dismay than pain as she backpedaled into the bunker behind her.

He broke her tech. Endrali called on the Force for speed, not wanting to waste this chance. They had the door covered, but stars only knew if there were any sort of passages out of the bunker.

A salvo of blaster fire greeted her as she sped past Qyzen and she felt the heat of one she didn't deflect whiz by the side of her neck. Qyzen grunted behind her as another bolt found its mark.

Trusting in the Force, Endrali flung out her hand, throwing a couple of footlockers in the direction of the shots, following in a rush to cut down the pirate before she could fire again. Her blade cut deep into the woman's unarmored chest, and she let out a choked-off groan of surprise as she fell. Something dropped from her hand-

[Herald!] Qyzen's finger closed around her arm, yanking her away just as the detonator went off. She instinctively threw up her free arm, and the wash of heat made the skin tight.

"Thanks," she said with a grateful smile, breathing hard as she turned to Qyzen.

[Was owed.] he replied, still on guard until sure the threat was past.

Endrali winced at the blaster burn that cut through the brow ridge of his good eye. "Sorry I was a bit slow."

Qyzen shook his head. [Is mark of fine hunt, strong prey, even if points are yours.]

"Couldn't have done it without you," she said, shaking her head. "They're your points, too."

He'd traveled with her long enough to know protesting the unconventional sentiment was pointless. [I thank you, Herald.]

Endrali nodded a distracted acknowledgement even as she crouched to free the damaged teleportation tech from the pirate's belt. I'm gonna be Oggurobb's favorite person in the whole galaxy at this rate... "Now to figure where we go next," she muttered. Probably up. There were some other buildings scattered around, but since none of them showed guards or signs of being ready to spew forth more pirates, she wasn't inclined to drag this out by doing a door to door search.

So they headed up the sloping cliffside path, until they found a large warehouse with guards posted outside the loading bay doors. They were easily dealt with.

The walker waiting inside clearly intended to be a little more of a challenge.

"Wondered when you'd poke your head in, Commander!" a voice boomed from the walker. "I am Bel Nerodia, chief of the Vipers and soon to be destroyer of the Alliance!" He fired off a rocket salvo as he finished his boast, and Endrali and Qyzen ducked in opposite directions for cover behind shipping crates.

Endrali peeked around her to take in the scene. Not enough space or incline to use the same method she had for the Zakuulan walker on Rakata Prime. ('Course, there she'd also had a fellow Force user to help disarm it before her stunt.)

She ripped the end off a shipping crate and threw it at the walker cabin. It staggered but didn't go down. Not big enough, then. Time to try something a little crazy. Probably unwise. But those plans tended to work the best.

Endrali stepped into view of the walker, yanking with the Force to throw it off-balance. As Nerodia struggled to get it stable again, she darted in close, dodging the massive feet until she could get a good strike at one of the legs. She sheared halfway through on her first hit, then finished the job on the backswing.

"Hey! No! You can't-!" Nerodia's bellowing protests were cut off as the walker crashed to the ground. Between the impact and debris she'd thrown at it, the hatch looked jammed.

That should hold him while I get the data, Endrali decided. Theron and Lana--mostly Lana--would have questions for the man; she'd rather take him alive. She used the Force to crush the hatch release a little farther. Just to be safe. She and Qyzen headed upstairs, dispatching a few more guards and droids as they went.

The computers weren't heavily encrypted. The data stolen and list of prospective buyers were both easy to find. Lana and Aygo would appreciate knowing who was willing to pay--obscenely--for Odessen security data. Endrali downloaded and wiped the data, then jammed her lightsaber in the console for good measure.

"Time to go," she told Qyzen.

Nerodia was still hollering and banging on the walker's jammed hatch when they made it downstairs. "Hey! Hey! You can't leave me in here! HEY!!"

"Didn't intend to," Endrali called back, voice raised so he could here her. "Might want to scoot back!" She waited a few heartbeats for him to comply, then ignited her lightsaber and sliced open the hatch.

Qyzen reached in and dragged him out, scolding, [Struggle not wise, after Herald showed mercy.]

"Some mercy," Nerodia scoffed, still struggling. "Better you just kill me."

"Not how I operate," Endrali said cheerfully. "And by the way, if you make a walker to fight Jedi, should invest in cortosis plating. Makes it harder for us to do" --she gestured to the walker--"that."

They secured Nerodia's hands with binder cuffs, and Qyzen shepherded him along as they headed for the door. A warning sense rang through the Force, and Endrali used it to shove Qyzen and Nerodia to the side as a volley of mortars pounded where they'd been standing.

"Crush 'em to dust GeeNine!" Nerodia whooped before Qyzen stunned him with a thump from the hilt of his techblade.

Their opponent was indeed a very large battledroid, clanking and creaking as it struggled across the sand.

Well, we can use that, Endrali mused, zipping in to slash at a cluster of exposed wiring. The droid was so large; clumsy and slow, it was easy to stay at a range to avoid both its heavy limbs and the artillery mounted on its back. It did get in a hefty smack that sent her tumbling and spitting sand with ears ringing before Qyzen jammed his techblade into its center and ripped out enough vital components to render it inoperable.

"That wasn't so bad," Endrali said, despite the bruise forming on her shoulder and the reek of singed hair from a rocket volley that cut it a little close. And it wasn't; the mining droid she and Arcann dismantled on Ord Mantell had been worse. "Let's go home, huh?"

[Is wise plan] Qyzen nodded.

Nerodia was just beginning to revive his struggles when they returned to him, and for ease of traveling Endrali stunned him again with the Force. Better than listening to him yell and posture the whole flight back to Odessen.

Qyzen slung the insensate pirate leader over his shoulder and they headed to the ship.

Fingers tracing the lower edge of her ribcage, hers dancing lightly along his collarbone, hearts pounding in unison as-

"So how do you account points for droids?" she asked hastily as they walked. "Are they the same as organic prey, or is there a difference because they're programmed...?"

---

The trip back to Odessen was uneventful. she and Qyzen took turns watching the prisoner and the controls, and there were no incidents of note.

Endrali was proven correct on their return--Lana was thrilled to have a prisoner for interrogation, Aygo was thrilled to have data on the pirates' ambush tactics, and Oggurobb was thrilled to have new tech to examine.

She herself was just thrilled to be home so she could wash off the lingering sweat and sand, get some proper sleep rather than a catnap in the pilot seat--

She walked into something and her mental checklist came to an abrupt halt even as she did. Her reflexive "Oh, sorry-" when she realized it was a someone strangled off when it registered who.

Arcann.

The galaxy did have a sense of humor.

His smile reached his eyes(and made her lips curve upward as well) as his hand brushed her arm in an instinctive move to steady her if needed. "It's alright. I did not realize you had returned."

"Just got back," she confirmed, trying to ignore the gooseflesh prickling her arm, the curl of warmth in her stomach--and, above all, the previously banished images starting to swirl in her thoughts.

Tangled-together fingers, breathless-mumbled names, hips rolling--

Stop it, he's right there, she scolded herself, frantically pushing the thoughts away and hoping Arcann hadn't picked any of it up. From the fact he wasn't going red and avoiding eye contact, it seemed nothing got through.

"I, um, had some deliveries," she explained, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Captured the leader; Lana's very happy I got this one alive for her to question, and they had some tech Oggurobb's dissecting."

"I'm glad you had such success," Arcann said. "Considering your rushed departure, it seemed rather urgent."

She nodded. "Wouldn't've been smart to wait. And I'm also glad that if I had to go to Tatooine, at least it was successful. It's good Qyzen knows the terrain so well, that was a big help navigating the Dune Sea." A sheepish chuckle. "Though it was... odd not having you to back me up," she admitted, and cocked her head at the near-imperceptible twinge to his sense.

He exhaled in a hum that might've almost been a laugh. "It was odd not going."

"We'll, ah, we'll both have to look forward to next time, then," Endrali said playfully, and bit her lip at the sincerity radiating from him as he nodded.

"We shall," he said, studying her face.

"That'll have to wait, right now I need a nap," she laughed. "Well, shower then nap. We hit a couple duststorms and I feel like I'm still wearing half of Tatooine."

One corner of Arcann's mouth curved back and he reached--as if he couldn't help it--to lightly brush something off her cheek. His breath hitched ever so slightly as his touch passed over her scar.

Hopefully it covered hers doing the same.

Endrali had to clear her throat before she could joke, "That dusty, am I?"

Arcann's answering chuckle was stilted as he let his hand fall. "Perhaps it's just as well I did not accompany you."

She watched the fingers of his left hand curl and wrinkled her nose. "Mm, true." Sand and cybernetics weren't a fun mix, no matter how many precautions you took. "Hopefully the next malcontents will use a more hospitable planet. And hopefully you found things to do with me gone?"

He nodded. "I did. Sana-Rae needed help in the Force Enclave, I meditated and worked on a... personal project. My time was occupied." He swallowed as if holding back from saying more and she didn't dare reach for the sense of it.

"Good." Endrali fought back a yawn. Probably wise to make her exit before exhaustion and her pounding heart made her say something stupid. "I'm gonna go take that nap. But I'll see you around?"

Arcann nodded. "Of course."

"Good." She skittered for the elevator, heart still pounding and warmth of dream-memory filling her mind. So much for this being a distraction. She could leave things buried for now, but it was unwise to let such a development... fester.

Scared as she was of damaging their friendship, she was going to need to talk to him soon.

Stars help her.

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