Bruce Springsteen at Wembley, July 4 1985, by Steve Rapport, my edit of original via mostlyrocknroll.
(I saw him 4 times in 3 countries on that tour, including a couple of weeks earlier in Newcastle, and he was...The Boss!)
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Bruce Springsteen: I understood that underneath this illusion of freedom was an oppressiveness that would kill me
My Hometown (Bruce Springsteen Live at LA Coliseum, Los Angeles, CA - September 1985)
Bruce Springsteen: “At some point I said to myself—and I know this is one of the things that caused me a lot of distress—I said, Well, okay, what if I am the guy in ‘Born to Run,’ with the bike and the girl, shooting down the road. But when you get out there a little ways, there’s not that much traffic. And you can’t see the people in the cars next to you; all the windows are tinted. And all of a sudden you’re out there, but where is everybody? So I guess I kinda thought, Well, all right, you know; so maybe I get to do these things, but what about everybody else?
And that didn’t come from a real selfless motivation or some idea to do good. Because I understood that it was a self-preservation question. I realized that you will die out there, simple as that. I understood that underneath this illusion of freedom was an oppressiveness that would kill me. And that where maybe I was different was that I knew it.
So when I got in that situation, I felt tremendously threatened, and I did not know why. It was totally instinctive. Matter of fact, I don’t think I really knew why until not that long ago. But initially, when I was twenty-five, it was just instinctive—I felt threatened, I felt in danger. And it was funny because those were the exact opposite responses that people generally have. But I didn’t know why I was havin’ ’em; I was just havin’ ’em.
So initially, I wanted to just reject the whole thing—‘This is bad; all this is bad’—as people have done before. I think you look at some of the older rock and rollers, they’ve chosen to reject it and their opposite choice was to move to religious fundamentalism. But I got so alienated from religion when I was younger that there was no way that that was ever gonna be an alternative, in that sense, for me. I just could never see it.
I think when I got in that spot, I really did feel—and not in a paranoid fashion— attacked on the essence of who I felt that I was. So at that point I realized that, unattached from community, it was impossible to find any meaning. And if you can’t find any meaning, you will go insane and you will either kill yourself or somebody will do the job for you, either by doping you or one thing or another.
I began to question from that moment on the values and the ideas that I set out and believed in on that Born to Run record: friendship, hope, belief in a better day. I questioned all of these things. And so Darkness on the Edge of Town was basically saying, You get out there and you turn around and you come back because that’s just the beginning. That’s the real beginning.
I got out there—hey, the wind’s whipping through your hair, you feel real good, you’re the guy with the gold guitar or whatever, and all of a sudden you feel that sense of dread that is overwhelming everything you do. It’s like that great scene in The Last Picture Show where the guy hits the brakes and turns around. The Darkness record was a confrontation record: ‘Badlands,’ ‘Adam Raised a Cain,’ ‘Racing in the Street’all those people, all those faces, you gotta look at ’em all. Right through to ‘Darkness on the Edge of Town’—that was a whole other beginning.
Now, you strip a whole bunch of things away from the thing, and you lose a lot of your illusions and a lot of, I suppose, your romantic dreams. And you decide…you make a particular decision. And that is a decision, I believe, that saves your life—your real life, your internal life, your emotional life, your essential life. Because you can live on, and a lotta people do; there’s all sorts of people livin’ on out there, you know. But I knew—and this ties right in with the discussion I had with Jon about Born in the U.S.A.—that the reason I began to do what I did was for connection. I desperately needed connection. I couldn’t get it; I wanted it.
And that’s why the guitar was my lifeline. That was my connection with other people, more than anything else. Because other things will not sustain you. Maybe for a while you’ll be distracted and have some fun, but in the end, your real life, you’ll die, you will really die. And then once that happens, I believe there’s only a certain amount of time before the physical thing catches up to you.
So you’ve got that situation, where I turn around—on the live record, that’s where ‘Badlands’ fits.”
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