#both machine & man in that moment making a strange and new discovery

[inkskinned]

oh, i am so enamored with the way the lesson of the velveteen rabbit rings true in our modern life. i love that we name our spaceships and write love poems to old buildings. i love that we all cried about the mars rover, that we made her so real that she was no longer a machine but a friend, a companion, a hero.

i love that we become attached to certain mugs, spoons, mason jars. that we develop a strange protective love-hate of our tablets, that we feel weirdly reverent about our new notebook. we name our cars silly things like the crab shack and call our favorite whisk attachment the one great destroyer.

there's a dog statue at my local park that has a golden back and golden head from how often people have pet it. at my college campus, people love an ugly little pointless sculpture we call bacon pants or bacon legs. we assign personalities to fountains, parks, laptops.

i love that our basic instinct is to include others in our community, even where there isn't a real community to speak of. that we love things, even when they cannot physically love us back - for us, the exchange isn't what's important. we give our heart to things so entirely that the thing begins to, in its own way, have its own heart.

the last transmission from the mars rover was not words; it was data. nevertheless, someone translated for her. my battery is low and it's getting dark. they made her last words a poem. they looked at data and saw a soul, a divine spark.

i keep thinking about the first AI born truly free-thinking. i keep thinking about the way scientists and artists talk about their work. how their eyes light up and their hands start moving, how even when they're flat broke and confused and the coding isn't working - there's this love of the thing. i keep thinking that whatever is being born into this new world will be born here on purpose, over a long time, with great energy. that when it arrives, the first thing it will know is most likely the hands of a creator delighted, overcome.

that we made it in our image. that the image we wrote was one of human compassion within ingenuity. that we couldn't make this thing without it being a labor of real-and-true: love.

[soldmysoultootomeboys]

Hi! Can I request headcannons for the human brothers accidently summoning an angel mc instead of a demon and the angel mc insisting on sticking around and helping them?

The other brothers: :) Satan: >:)

This has been in the drafts for too long. I really love the absolute mood switch between Lucifers and Mammons. And just Satans in general ig.

Lucifer

After years of religious trauma at the hands of his father Lucifer finally thought he was free of any connection to the church. Summoning a flaming seraphim at 3 in the morning was not a pleasant way to find out that he was wrong.

As for you, being summoned for the first time in your long long life was an unwelcome surprise. You were a seraphim for heaven's sake. The cream of the crop, highest of the high, and that wasn’t pride speaking only facts. You were crucial to running the celestial realm.

But somehow you’re undeniably tied to his human. You could feel where his soul became intermeshed with your very essence. How wrong it felt to be tied to something so mortal, and delicate, and free.

Any attempts to leave would surely be met with disaster.

So you stay. Lucifer is cold. You can’t blame him. Being there reopens old wounds that he’d rather have remained closed. But just ignoring each other isn’t going to work.

He’s not interested in the celestial realm, and despises any blessing you try and give him, but a fresh cup of coffee during an all-nighter seems to make him brighter than any magic you could do and when you run your hands through his hair he looks at you with more fondness than you can comprehend.

You learn to be more human. He learns to let go of the past.

And one day you find that you don’t want to leave anymore.

For celestial sake that thought should as well be treason! But it’s true.

It’s a spring afternoon and Lucifer plays celestial lullabies on his piano and you want nothing more than for the beautiful night to come so you can sweep him in your arms and remind him how he glows.

You don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore, but you know that this human is yours and you are his. To rip off your wings would be to find solace in his arms. But you can not give him that. This he knows.

So you promise to protect him, in words he can’t hear but he understands. The spread of your wings shield him from the world and you press blessings to his skin in the shape of the crescents in his back and your lips on his neck. If nothing else you’ll keep him safe. When the world seems too big and the stress of his life gets him down you’ll always be here for him to crawl back to. You can give him that much.

Mammon

That was it

You had to have been assigned the stupidest human in the world

When you were promoted to guardian angel you kinda thought it would be more ‘protecting orphans’ and ‘guiding lost puppies back home’ NOT watching a grown man spend his last paycheck on his eighth Nigerian prince scam

Seriously mammon? Did the prophetic dreams you sent mean nothing? The visions of the future he coincidentally had after hitting his head on a light post, only simple illusions? What more could you try beyond simply marching down their and clocking him on the head yourself?

...unless

Raphael would have your wings if you went to the human world. But that would be a lot less painful that having to watch whatever Mammon was going to do with all the rubber cement he just bought.

The next morning you decide to sneak down. The city was amazing, all colored light and fun machines that whizzed by you on the streets

But you had to stay focused

You were an angel on a mission

You made your way towards central park. Mammon went there every morning to swindle tourists out of their wallets. If you were fast you’d get there before the first patrol office started chasing him.

Spotting the albino you marched straight towards him, readied yourself, and smacked him over the head.

Maybe not very angel-like but it worked.

One introduction later and you're officially a guardian angel

Mammon’s actually pretty nice once you get to know him. Sure he may be a bit too obsessed with lining his pockets but for all his talk he never hesitates to try and help you out.

Consistent affection and care is good for him. He never really knows how to react when you wrap your wings around him but even with his tsundere objections it's obvious he’s pleased.

He’ll take whatever scraps of affection you’ll give him and practically beams at every little gesture you do, no matter how small or insignificant.

You do have to be careful though.

At his request you had attempted to bless him with a bit of luck. An easy enough spell for an angel like you (even if you were 90% sure he planned to go gambling after). Whatever scheming he’s doing immediately stops the moment you cup his face. He seems to freeze when you lean in, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek

You were about to congratulate yourself on a spell well done when you noticed the condition he was in. He was like a living statue, a statue with a very very red face

Before you can ask what was wrong he flails pushing you away and darting off to his room

Any attempts to speak to him the rest of the day were met with incoherent shouting.

It might be best to withhold any magic until you can figure out how humans work

Levi

Once again Levi’s dedication to anime gets him into trouble

It started with his most recent obsession, a new anime that follows a group of angels, produced by the famous company, Dove. The plot, the animation, the soundtrack, all of it was amazing so when they came out with a new limited edition item featuring the very symbol that the main character wore he just had to have it

The moment it came he was setting it up on its own altar, a handmade replica just like in the show only for- Oh no

Before his eyes burst a shining visage of light and then you

You blink in surprise, whether it's from taking a human form for the first time in decades or the strange new room you were in, only you know

The scene may be foreign but the guy quivering on the floor was not

BE NOT AFRAID

Your booming voice echoes around the room

For some reason the guy begins to freak out even more

Didn’t he see your halo? You even told him to not be afraid. Were humans really so strange? :(

Oh well. You hum making your aura as comforting as possible and slowly the guy calms down enough for you to coax him into a seat as you begin to explain.

Which might not have been the best move.

The moment it sunk in he was bombarding you with questions

Yes you were an angel, no you didn’t know what anime was, yes you had wings, no you didn’t have any secret ultimate moves...whatever those were

He ranted and raved over this and that and you let him. He seemed like he needed someone to talk to. It also let you piece together what had happened.

He seemed to be a natural sorcerer, and a powerful one at that if he could someone an angel with no training or even knowledge that he could do magic

Just a few minutes in his presence made his self loathing obvious. Mix in a bit of anxiety and envy and you essentially have Levi in a nutshell

So you decide to stay

What kind of angel would you be if you just left him here? Michael would understand.

Or he wouldn't, it didn’t really matter because you already made up your mind.

Living with Levi is an experience for both of you.

He introduces you to so many new things. He had little boxes that could control light and screens containing actual people to talk to. It was all quite fanciful

In return you act as his friend, encouraging him to go out with you and attending cons with him, even if you still weren't exactly sure what cosplaying is

Slowly he begins to open up for you

He’s still nervous to go out in public, and a complete introvert at heart.

But that was fine. You could both figure out this new world together, at your own pace

Satan

Definitely was not trying to summon a demon to lay havoc on his enemies

Nope, not him he says all while trying to casually kick away vials of mysterious fluids

...Right

You’ve been down to the human world enough to know a demon summoner when you see one

Or in this case a failed summoner

He has no excuse for why he called you and instead seems more insistent that you leave

As much as you you might like to return to the celestial realm, you cannot in good conscience leave a man that you know is going to try and raise hell on earth the moment your gone

So you stay, and it's a good thing you do

This man has anger issues like no other

You thought Raphael was bad this guy is like a demon himself

However he seems willing to try and make the best of what he considers a bad situation

He asks you a lot of questions on the celestial realm

For a guy who knows so much about the devildom he seems to really be lacking on any knowledge on the other celestial beings

He mostly asks you questions on the celestial war, which is a touchy topic at best and downright upsetting at worst

He’s very interested in your opinions as your point of view is very different from his own, what with being a different species and everything

You learn things too, mostly about humans and cats but you suppose its a fair trade

Because of this you become close friends

You really win him over when he finds out your calming aura naturally attracts the stray kittens Satan's been trying to pet for the last few months

It’s not uncommon to head out to late night coffee shops and discuss the merits of different aspects of your lives

But maybe you’ve gotten a bit to close when he starts asking you to revise his summoning notes

Asmo

Apparently a lifetime of partying has prepared Asmo for some very weird discoveries

When you're sent down to the human world you have one job, find and keep an eye on the potentially dangerous summoner who's been in contact with multiple high level demons in the past few days.

Instead you end up meeting Asmo

You were prepared for a fight, not to be tackled into a hug the moment you revealed yourself

Asmo on the other hand is squealing with excitement

Sweetie, he's been waiting for this moment! This is his first time meeting an angel after all

He immediately begins talking about everything he wants to do

You quickly find out that he hasn’t made any pacts...yet, if only because he “couldn’t bear to damage his skin with such an ugly mark”

...Well you suppose that's a reason to not sell your soul

Even thoughts he's aware of the three realms it doesn’t make him any less enamoured with you

He’s never met an angel, he’s quick to mention. He’d love to get to know you, if you get what he means ;)

Are all humans so upfront?

If you decline he still wants to see your true form, even after you explain that no, if you transform you will not just be a beautiful angel with wings but instead a glowing mass of eyes and feathers and angelic light that will probably end up blinding him

Blinded because of your beauty ;) ;) ;)

That said he’s easily satisfied when you just bring out your wings.

He loves fussing with them and decorates them with jewelry and roses whenever you leave them out

He even starts an angel trend on insta after posting a photo as if they were coming from his back instead

Claims your glowing aura is great for his skin

You’re not sure if that’s a pick up line or if he’s serious but he definitely basks in your presence

Loves when you talk about the celestial realm, somewhere he desperately wants to go

I mean it's the only place that's fit for a beauty like him right? But of course he can’t die yet, his fans would be sooo upset

You agree to bring him up there one day, even if that sounds a little morbid

Of course he asks you to become his guardian angel

That may not be your actual job but you can’t resist his puppy dog eyes

You and him go pretty much everywhere together, bar some more xxx rated sites

He introduces you to parties and bars, and while you don’t indulge it's enjoyable to see humans in their natural element. They’re so fun and free spirited just like Asmo

Maybe that's what attracted you to him in the first place

He loves life for what it is, something so admirably human

But you don’t slack off either. You take your role as Official Guardian Angel seriously. You guard his drinks when he goes to the bathroom, and hum celestial lullabies when he’s sad and escort him down dark alleys when walking home. He has nothing to fear with you around.

You’ve become very fond of this human. Perhaps you’ll stick around a bit longer than you planned

Beel

It’s rare to be assigned to a human so...mundane

But that’s exactly what Beel is. He goes to the gym in the mornings, works a nine to five, and comes back home to his dog

He even has a good relationship with this family, do you know how hard that is to find in this day and age???

The only thing even slightly abnormal about this guy is his appetite

He could put a gluttony demon to shame with the way he eats

But the point is you really can’t figure out why you’ve been assigned to him or how your supposed to guide him

Eat a little less? Stop stealing your brother's lunch?

It’s the first time in a long while you’ve been so stumped

So you do what any sane angel would, go down to the human world to meet him yourself

He’s a likeable guy and it’s easy to get close to him, more so do to your angelic status

Although it’s surprising how well he takes the whole angel revelation

To be honest your pretty sure he forgets most of the time

He tends to follow you around, especially at night when he insists on walking you to wherever you need to be. It’s sweet even though there's little that can really harm you in the human realm

You quickly realize that he’s the type to have nightmares, usually calling out for one of his brothers or his sister

It’s become habit to wake up and head to his room

Just being there seems to calm him down

The first time he wakes up when your doing this he ends up asking you to stay

Isn’t shy about sharing the bed either.

He’s easy going so goes along with whatever idea you have

Especially when he starts finding snacks in his bag, each one blessed for a good day or to stay full or whatever little thing you thought of that day

Belphegor

Humans can’t see angels. Not unless they want to be seen, you remind yourself for what must be the tenth time.

But you’re almost certain that guy is looking right at you.

Step to the left, his head follows

To the right, his eyes narrow looking at you like your some puzzle he just hasn’t figured out yet

…this was fine

You turn around pretending to just not see him in hope that he’ll get distracted by something else

...you glance back. Why was he still looking at you? What is with this creep?

Enough is enough.

You march over there ready to ask what his problem is. Instead he beats you to it.

Eh? You’re an angel right? He asks before you can say anything.

???? Shouldn’t he sound more shocked.

The guy just sleepily blinks. He doesn’t look like a sorcerer or a witch, in fact you can’t feel any magic from him at all.

You go to ask only to realize he’s sound asleep. It’s not like you could just leave him here. And at the same time a human who can just see angels is an oddity of itself.

You decide to hang around for a while. Belphegor doesn't mind. He only says something about it being "too troublesome to drive you off," and "you'd look like you'd just come back anyways"

Belphie sticks to you like glue, if glue was absolutely insufferable and seemed to enjoy annoying you at every possible moment

You would think this would be easy. I mean he sleeps all day and when he’s not sleeping he’s napping. Simple enough right? Wrong

When he was awake he was committed to pushing every single button you have

If it seemed like it might inconvenience or annoy you he was already doing it. Trying to smack your halo, pounce on you, or even jump off the roof just to see you scramble to catch him. He was like some terrible terrible cat

Luckily he was never energetic for long. When he wore himself out he’d retreat to the roof of his crappy one bedroom and wait for you to join him

He liked to look at the stars and he’d point them out to you. Orion, Polaris, Sirius, he would mutter, bringing you back to the days when Michael, who was once so fond of you, would sneak you down to the human world just to show you the stars and darkness the celestial realm could not offer

When he finally got tired you would take over reciting Celestial names and marking the sky with your finger just to show him where they’d be.

Those times were pleasant. Even if they were brief.

“I’m gonna jump.”

“Do it.”

“You’re an angel. Aren’t you supposed to stop me before I do something stupid?”

“You won't.”

“Aight. Bet.” Belphie pitches forward and you just manage to catch him by the leg before he falls off the roof.

Brat.

Always ruining a good moment.

You can’t even be mad. The moment you pull him up he’s already resting his fluffy head in your lap waiting for you to pet him.

He may be the most troublesome human in the entire three realms, but he’s your human

[shades-of-stony]

Time Travel Stony Fanfic

Character from the Future travels to the Past 

A Shadow Hanging Over Our Fate by CaptainDean13

Summary: The Avengers get sent back in time to WWII where they run into the Howling Commandos... complete with Bucky and Steve. Little hard to explain that away, especially when you are trying to keep some major secrets. Secrets like how you ended up in the future and why the hell Bucky is now a scary (reformed) assassin with a metal arm, not to mention that you married your friend's son.

Note: A 1000/10 READ. THIS IS SO FREAKIN’ GOOD THAT I READ IT 3 TIMES SINCE I FIRST FOUND IT LAST YEAR. It’s a nice and well written time travel fic with the howling commandos and past Steve and Bucky!!

A New Way For Us by ann2who

Summary: They fight Thanos—and they’re losing. And before Tony knows what’s happening, he’s standing with Doctor Strange in front of the Eye of Agamotto and gets send back in time. Can he find a way to fix things this time around, or are they doomed to fall apart all over again?

Note: This is where Tony went back in time to fix everything that went wrong and prepare for the arrival of Thanos! Due to an unexpected twist of fate, he found himself getting closer to Steve of all people!  

Two More Miracles (To Be A Saint) by queenpenthesilea

Summary: “Get up, Stark, you sleep too much. You said you would teach me paper football.”

Tony’s eyes snapped open. No. No. Had it all been a dream? Had he just imagined five years – five years - of an idyllic life, complete with a beautiful, wonderful daughter? He pushed himself up, looking around; he was on the Milano – he was on the fucking Milano, and either this was a really weird version of hell or everything had been a dream. Or, a little voice whispered, something had gone horribly, horribly wrong with the infinity stones.

Note: A nice and juicy post-Endgame Time Travel fanfic!! Though, this one held a few what ifs. 

Saving the World is a 12 Step Program by janonny

Summary: Tony and Steve fall to pieces when Thanos’ wins.

Then they pick themselves up, and find a solution. They also find something infinitely more precious in the process.

-

“It’s going to sound pretty outrageous,” Tony admitted, rubbing a hand over his brow. While he had put on some weight and wasn’t as gaunt anymore, he was still easily tired nowadays.

“More outrageous than talking racoons and a purple villain traveling through space to collect magic stones?” Steve asked drily.

Note: This is another post-Endgame fanfic but with a twist and different take on the whole time travel!

Oh, Snap by wedelia

Summary: Peter wakes up, and he’s simultaneously five years too early and right on time.

Or, Post-Endgame Peter goes back in time and accidentally-on-purpose gets Steve and Tony together before the initial snap happens. And, oh, yeah—he also recruits a former-Air-Force-pilot-turned-galactic-hero, has lunch with Black Widow, and somehow befriends Nick Fury. This changes things.

Note: It’s Peter who time travels this time around!!

If We Never Got This Second Chance by Pookaseraph

Summary: When Tony and Steve’s son from the future, Jake Jensen, arrives at Avenger’s Tower, the two of them are forced to confront some hard truths: Tony that he might not actually become a horrible father, and Steve that he might not be able to set aside his discomfort with sharing a child with another man. When they both get a second chance at a first try at fatherhood, it’s up to the two of them to learn from their own future's past.

Note: Anyone up for some future son time travel? Enjoy this nicely written fanfic of Stony’s future son traveling and meeting the past versions of his parents! Past versions that are not even together yet! Things are about to get weird for Steve and Tony. 

Your Name on Every Wall by Sineala

Summary: The Time Gem throws Steve into the past rather than the future, and in doing so, it gives him the opportunity to undo his past mistakes. But when it turns out that all of his mistakes involve Tony Stark, Steve begins to wonder if he's ever going to be able to mend things between them.

Note: A unique plot where Steve travels to the future and realizes what he is missing on!

Together, At Dawn by RoseGoldAmpersand

Summary: Steve returns the Infinity Stones to New York and finds himself in conversation with Tony of the past. More mature and willing to listen to Tony he realises that what he previously thought were taunts was actually Tony flirting with him.

In light of this new discovery and alone in Tony’s workshop after the battle of New York, one thing leads to another...

Note: ohhhhh, some juicy smut anyone?

  Don't Look Back, You Can Never Look Back. by iL0Vsuperman

Summary: Tony Stark: billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and, now, superhero.

It’d only been a few months prior that he’d revealed to the world he was Iron Man and life couldn’t be better.

That is…until he stumbled upon an old abandoned Hydra lab and kinda set off one of their machines by accident. A blast of blue light later and he found himself in the same lab…only it is seventy years earlier and it is full of Hydra agents.

Cue the entrance of the Howling Commandos led by Tony’s childhood hero, Captain America.

Suddenly, Tony is living out a dream. He’s joining up with the Commandos in the search to get Tony back to his right era. It’s the adventure of a lifetime and, at first, it’s amazing…but then he and Steve connect in ways more than just friendship and he finds that he is torn between wanting to stay with him or go back home.

In the end, whatever the result, he loses.

Note: Tony meets his childhood heroes-the Howling Commandos and Captain America! 

The Future is Yet in Your Power by FestiveFerret

Summary: "Now." Wong leaned back in his chair. "What would you do to save this world from Thanos' attack? What would you sacrifice?"

"Anything," Steve said. "Anything at all."

Wong considered him for a moment, expression unreadable. "There's one thing, maybe."

Note: This is nice fanfic about Steve putting everything on the line to hopefully make a change. 

The Good or Bad Thing by petreparkour for SeetheSea

summary: “It’s the metal suit,” Thor informed Steve, his normally-booming voice tinny over the SHIELD comms. “What did Stark call it—Iron Man?”

“But he’s down here,” Steve protested as the Hulk roared in Stark’s face, startling him into waking with a shout. “How could—”“It’s damaged,” Thor reported. “But it looks different. More advanced. And he—ah. He’s carrying you, Captain.”

“Please tell me nobody kissed me,” Stark breathed out, and then Stark’s voice suddenly came over the comms, but the man lying next to him hadn’t moved.“

Guys, come on, you’re killing me here. What is it, 2012? God, I hate time travel. First, I'm fighting Thanos. Now, I have to deal with my past self and Thor's bad haircut? Oh my God, Cap, yes I hacked their comms, they’re my comms.”

Steve nearly opened his mouth to protest that he hadn’t said anything when he realized that this replica of Tony Stark wasn’t speaking to him.

Note: Future Tony and Steve accidentally traveling in the past!

  Character from the Past travels to the Future

hold the things you wanna say by SailorChibi

Summary: Tony is still a consultant, and between SI, the team and SHIELD he's overworked and exhausted. That's okay.

He and Steve have been having sex for weeks but that's all it is, just sex, and Tony wants more but he'll never get it and that's okay. Really.

What's not okay is the fact that Howard Stark has somehow appeared in the future and is the same as always.

This is definitely going to fuck up his schedule.

Note: ANGST! READY YOUR TISSUES.

Twice Upon a Time by TsaritsaElena

Summary: Tony Stark has never had an easy relationship with his father, but when Howard Stark circa 1983 time travels to the future in a freak accident, things get even more complicated, especially since Tony is dating his dad’s idol, Captain America, and Howard doesn’t know. As they work toward a solution that will restore Howard to his own timeline, will Tony get a second chance at a father-son relationship with his dad, or is he in for more of the same unforgiving treatment from Howard? Time travel, Avengers missions, and a secret project of Howard’s: things at Stark Tower are about to get a little crazy.

Note: SOME MORE ANGST AND HOWARD TRAVELLING TO THE FUTURE. 

The Future Is Ours (Whether We Want It Or Not) by ann2who

Summary: After a hit from the Time Stone, Steve switches places with his future self.

Note: Another of Steve traveling to the future! Though this time, it features both timeline! Both POV of the past and future! 

Ordinary Men by RiaRose

Summary: "Aren't you at all happy to see me?" Howard shot back, holding his glass out and pointing with his index finger. At Steve's stony face, he dropped his arm. "Want a glass?" he tried, picking up an empty tumbler, "This is good stuff."

"Tony doesn't skimp on - well - anything. And no, thank you."

"Was that Tony?" he queried, gesturing toward the hallway the other man had disappeared down. Steve nodded but didn't give any more information, so Howard repeated his earlier question, "Aren't you happy to see me?"

It took Steve a moment to answer. Howard could see his jaw working. 

"No, not anymore."

OR

In which Howard travels to the future and just messes up everybody's day, Steve is conflicted, and Tony is a piping hot mess, as per usual. It's not going to be easy, but Steve and Tony have to somehow navigate through Howard's arrival and the strain it puts on their relationship.

Note: From the summary alone, you can tell that THIS WILL BE ANGSTY. 

To Have My Time Again... by WilmaKins

Summary: It's been two years since Siberia, and Tony Stark is still dealing with the fallout - personal and political. Life is quite complicated enough, without Bruce falling through a wizards roof yelling that Thanos is coming.

Thor and Loki are stalling, but time is running out. The fate of the universe is at stake. Steve Rogers is back in the picture. Really, the last thing Tony needs is for their plan to go horribly wrong and bring Howard Stark forward in time.

But his Dad *is* standing in his office, whether he likes it or not.

So, it looks like Tony will have to fix that mess too.

Note: There is just something about Howard-travels-to-the-future fanfics. 

Howard Stark Meets The Avengers by SerlinaBlack

Summary: Howard Stark unknowingly travels to the future with his son and wife. Luckily the heroes of the future were somewhat ready for it. Unluckily , they don't seem to like him very much

Alternative summery: when will Howard learn? Not now lmao.

Note: ANOTHER ONE.

[marvelobsessedteenager]

All The Hurt - Chapter 2

Pairing: Peter Parker x fem!reader

Warnings: ANGST, Peter was an ass, reader is a hurt and petty bitch, fluff to make up for the angst, curse words, lots of “coincidences”

Word Count: 4.1k

A/n: The amount of love I've gotten is absolutely incredible. Thank you guys for the support! Enjoy :3 -----------------------------------------

Flash had suggested driving both him and yourself to Liz’s house, and you agreed, simply because car rides with him were more fun. You got there earlier than anyone else, giving Flash time to set up his DJ equipment and speakers while you helped Liz and Betty set up the lights, food, and drinks.

Not an hour later and the house was full of people that you knew and didn’t know, but welcomed anyway. Everybody walking around was having a good time, drinking soda out of a red solo cup and dancing to Flash’s party music. You would be lying if you told yourself your eyes weren’t examining the dance floor for a particular bed of curls.

In your mind, you knew there was no way Peter knew Spider-Man. You saw it in the way he told everyone he did today at the gym. His left hand was wildly shaking — a clear telltale of nerves you’d figured out long ago.

Something else was bothering you, though, even if you didn’t want to admit it.

That bruise. You knew for a fact Peter wasn’t a fighter, mainly when it came to bullies - words or actions. He never retaliated, which is why people considered him an easy target. You wouldn’t put it past him to allow himself to get beaten up, but you would have known if that’d happened. Flash was definitely his number one bully, but he wouldn’t dare lay a finger on Peter, and neither would any of his friends, especially since they all knew your history with Peter.

They were all bark and no bite, which meant that there was another explanation for it, but for the love of God, you couldn’t figure out what it was.

And speak of the devil.

You smirked as you caught sight of him, worried thoughts vanishing as you weaved your way through the crowd to Flash, whispering in his ear about your discovery. He flashed you a wicked smile, turned down the music, and grabbed the mic.

“Penis Parker! What’s up?” Flash yelled into the mic, causing Peter to freeze and turn to look at Flash, who was pointing right at him.

“Hey, Y/n,” Flash pretended to search the crowd then turned to you, “Where do you think his pal Spider-Man is?” He placed the mic below your lips and waited for your preplanned answer.

“Hm, let me a guess.” You sweetly said, tapping your chin like you were thinking, “in Canada with his imaginary girlfriend?” You raised your eyebrows, eyes boring into Peter’s with fire burning behind your pupils, your brain ignoring your heart that was begging you to stop upsetting him as you caught the flash of hurt that crossed his features.

The crowd laughed and “ooh” ed as Flash played a “burn” sound effect, “That’s not Spider-Man,” He jutted his chin towards Ned, “that’s just Ned in a red shirt.”

You watched him walk away from the giggling crowd, fuming, and you bumped your fist with Flash's in victory. He turned up the music, and you made your way to the dance floor with your friends, as you swayed your hips to the loud tune. Your group sang loudly to the songs, and though it was deafening and off-tune, you never felt freer than when you screamed the lyrics with them.

At some point, your voice started sounding raspy, and your throat was begging you for some sort of liquid to heal the ache. You excused yourself from the group, walked to the kitchen and grabbed a solo cup, filling it with cool water and chugging it down.

But, of fucking course, someone had to ruin your night and your favorite white dress by bumping into you and spilling coke on your outfit. That someone was a girl with piercing blue eyes and brown hair — someone you didn't recognize. It was clear she didn’t go to Midtown considering she squeaked an apology and ran to her friends, who glanced back at you and immediately dashed out of the house.

Great.

You would ask Liz for another dress, but you weren’t exactly tight with her. You’d also ask your friends to take you home to change, but as you looked at them jumping around and bobbing their heads to the music, you figured they were having too much fun, and you didn’t want to ruin it.

You would normally call your driver, but you hadn’t had the chance to set up your new phone just yet.

Sighing, you grabbed your denim jacket you hid below the counter earlier, put it on, and began your journey home on foot. Your house was located about thirty minutes away from Liz’s, which wasn’t really a big deal for you.

About fifteen minutes of strolling in silence and kicking any rock that caught your eye, you passed by a playground that looked familiar. It was the very same playground you and Peter would play in when you were children. You’d take turns pushing each other on the swing, and when you were old enough to do it yourself, you would both compete to see who’d go higher and who could jump off the swing the farthest. It always resulted in an injury, but you two always laughed it off, especially when Jane would run over worriedly with a first-aid kit.

As you went into your early teenage years, you’d meet at the playground alone and climb to the top of the dome climber with different (and disgusting) flavored milkshakes, exchanging it with each other every now and again, and watch the river flow peacefully.

The same river in which Iron-Man is flying out of with Spider-Man in his arms.

Wait, what?

You snapped out of your reverie and did a double take before you quickly dove into one of the many bushes, the quick rate of your heartbeat becoming a distraction from the fresh cut on your exposed neck from the sharp branches.

You could see everything that was happening in front of you, but not necessarily hear everything. Your wide eyes curiously peeked over the bushes, watching as Iron-Man placed Spider-Man on the dome. And maybe it was your hearing, but you swore you knew the high pitched voice that was exaggeratedly saying something.

You saw Spider-Man tug his mask off and wring it out, which made the back of his head incredibly visible. Brown hair. Or maybe black. It was too dark to see the difference. You debated moving a little closer to hear the conversation.

Deep down, you knew it wasn’t right. Spider-Man was entitled to protect his identity. But you could keep a secret. Besides, maybe this could be the moment you’d thank him for saving you. You doubted he’d remember what he did, but you’d never forget.

So, you crept a little closer to make out the words, despite your gut telling you you shouldn’t.

“What were you thinking?” Iron-Man asked in a way that made you believe Spider-Man was in trouble.

“The guy with the wings is obviously the source of the weapons, I gotta take him down!”

Wait. That sounds like-

“Take him down now, huh? Steady, Crockett, there are people who handle this sort of thing.” Iron-Man said, waving his arm around.

“The Avengers?”

“No, no, no, just a little below their…pay grade.”

“Anyway, Mr. Stark, you didn’t have to come all the way out here, I-I had that. I was fine.”

But that was all you could hear. Because as the conversation went on, the gears in your head begun turning, the dots seemed to connect faster than you could comprehend.

The strange bruise on his jaw after it was shown on the news that a certain superhero fought robbers at the bank across Delmar’s. Him running out of school once it was over. The fact that he left school for two weeks and mysteriously came back. Him ‘allegedly’ saying your name when he saved you. All the times he ditched you in the past were the same times Spider-Man was on the news for a heroic saving. You remembered because you’d send the news to Peter. The “Stark Internship” excuse wasn’t real.

But this was.

Peter Parker is Spider-Man.

Peter Parker saved your life.

The amount of information was loud. So, so, loud. You couldn’t hear the bickering that went on. A rush of emotions went through you. The first was rage. Is this it? Is this is his reason for letting you go? He couldn’t have just been honest and told you? You bet he told Ned. But he couldn’t tell you, could he?

But just as quickly as it came, your anger left you, instead being replaced with worry. You hated to admit it, but you were worried about him. How could he go out there every day and put his life on the line like that? What about his wounds and injuries? Did he suffer through those alone? Or did May help him heal?

Does May even know? Does anybody know?

Lastly, panic, and that was the strongest of them all. Holy shit, you thought, I just found out that my ex best friend and former crush is a superhero. He shoots webs out of his hands or something and sticks to walls and saves strangers and fights criminals and-

And Iron-Man is flying away.

And Spider-Man is walking in your direction.

I need to go.

As soon as you turned around, still crouched but ready to fucking bolt, you accidentally stepped on something hard, and you had to bite your tongue to keep your hissing inside. Once the pain slightly subsided, you looked downwards and moved your head closer to the object. A loud purring sound was emitting from it, and if there was anything in this world that screamed danger, it was this.

You were careful to pick it up and examine it. In the middle of this..machine was a bright purple stone and it was fucking glowing. You looked around you and caught Spider-Man muttering something to himself right before an obnoxious ringing made its way into your ears, prompting you to cringe and put your hands over them as you crouched.

It’s the same annoying fucking ringtone as Peter’s.

You waited for him to move a little farther, and when he did, you peeked from behind the bush. He had just closed the phone and continued his walk. You didn’t know if this thing was a bomb or something explosive, so throwing it in his direction was already ruled out. Besides, he was already beyond throw distance. You knew the safest way to get it to him.

You knew what to do. You hated that you did, but you had to do it.

Maybe hearing him talk to you would confirm or deny your hypothesis. Anybody could have brown hair, a high-pitched voice and the same ringtone as your ex-best friend and be a superhero that saved you two weeks ago.

You took a deep breath to calm your hammering heart from ripping through your ribcage and escaping. “I hate my life,” you mumbled as you rose and followed him with your heart still beating out of your chest, almost sure it was louder than your barely audible footsteps.

Don’t trip, don’t trip.

When you got close to him, close enough to tap him on the shoulder, he quickly turned around and got into a fighting position with his fists ready to punch. You were so shocked that you dropped the object and backed away with your hands up, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy. ”

Upon seeing a citizen (that he knew too well) he dropped his stance, “S-uh..sorry. I-I thought you..uh..” He cleared his throat, “Sorry, ma’am. How can I help you?” He said, very clearly thickening his voice and awkwardly placing his hands on his hips.

But you knew that sound anywhere.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. It is him.

You attempted to swallow the lump in your throat as you felt it clogging your ability to breathe.

“Uh, hi. I’m Y/n.” You mentally smacked yourself. He already knows you, dumbass.

Should you tell him he knows you, though? Should you tell him you know him? No, what? You vehemently shook your head.

“A-anyway I, um, found this-” You picked up the object and turned it around in your hands, “-on my way home and I think it’ll help you? I don’t know, it’s definitely not man-made, I suppose. I’m not exactly an expert but I thought you’d be and you just so happened to be in my neighborhood and I am, too, and this thing is glowing and-”

His spider..eye..thingies were as wide as saucers, and it was only now that you noticed you were rambling. Your cheeks flushed, and you immediately cursed at your body for betraying you.

This is worse than tripping.

“Sorry,” you looked down at your shoes, "I babble when I’m-“ Nope. Not letting him know you’re nervous. Not that he doesn’t already know. You found yourself regretting telling him all your triggers and quirks in the past, because right now, you couldn’t tell whether he could figure you out or not.

He probably could, though.

This night just kept getting worse. Pack it up already.

You cleared your throat and straightened your shoulders in the most confident way you could, “Here,” you outstretched your arm to him, waiting for him to grab the foreign object, but all he did was stare, and stare, and stare. You didn't really know where to look, and you didn't know if he was gazing at you or not, but before you could say anything, he snapped out of whatever he was in and took a hold of the object. You tried not to think about his masked fingers that grazed yours.

“Thanks, uh, Y/n.”  He said, not as intrigued by the object as you thought he’d be. Instead, he seemed to be looking at you. Or behind you. You still couldn't tell. You were too caught up in the way he said your name. It felt strangely familiar, and comforted you for a moment. It made you feel safe and wanted. Loved.

Before the memories reminded you of what he’d done.

“Sure,” you nodded, slowly backing away, “um, see you...around.”

“Yeah.”

As you turned on your heel to continue your trip home, he pipped up, “Oh, um, would- do you want me to walk you home? It’s really dark out here.”

You entertained the thought in your head for a second. "What could possibly happen if he walked you home, besides guaranteeing you safety?” Your heart spoke.

"Oh, I don’t know, you could accidentally blurt out that you know him, and then things will get even more awkward than they already are.” Your brain fought back, stubborn as ever.

Yeah, you’re definitely just going to pass up his offer.

“I’m, uh, I’m good. Need a little time to myself.” You nervously chuckled, wrapping your arms around yourself, “Thanks, though, I appreciate it.”

“Yeah.” He repeated, shifting his weight from one foot to another as he watched you walk away from him.

Like he’d done to you.

The rest of the fifteen minutes passed by faster than you anticipated, but maybe it was because you were too preoccupied considering you just confirmed your ex-best friend was a fucking superhero with fucking superpowers. As the confirmation made its way into your brain, you noticed that the signs were right beneath your nose, but you weren’t observant enough to figure it out. They started before he left you.

How did it start to begin with? Has he always had these powers?

Wait, no. Because Spider-Man wasn’t always around. And even if he really did have them for a long time, why leave you now? It must’ve been recent, you concluded.

But how? How does one go from an ordinary, lanky teenager to a robust superhero who can stop a speeding bus with his bare hands?

As one question was answered, another one took its place. The list just kept going and going, without a clear sign of it stopping.

In all honesty, you thought the videos that popped up on your YouTube recommended page of a web-slinging human were staged. In your defense, he seemed quite small to be a hero, and it wouldn’t be the first time some kid tried to fool the world with “a new superhero". You remember sending it to Peter and asking him if he thought it was real.

He never answered.

You hadn’t realized you were standing on your porch, staring at the overly large mahogany door in front of you. You sighed and took out your keys, placing them in the lock and twisting it.

You were lucky today was the beginning of the weekend. You wouldn’t be able to face him after seeing what you just saw. You didn’t know how to feel. You didn’t know what to do. Should you let him know that you know?

Should you let anyone know that you know?

That was the worst part about this whole thing. You had no one to turn to. No one to talk to about this, and there definitely wouldn’t be a wikiHow page on how to deal with something like this.

So, you ruled it out. One of the choices was obviously keeping the secret to yourself and not telling Peter you knew his identity. It would keep things from getting too awkward to handle and would keep him safe.

The other choice, the really horrible one, was to let everyone know. A part of you was still mad at what he’d done. You mean, he didn’t even try to apologize as he should’ve. That evil part of you, the hurt part, wanted revenge — wanted you to ruin Peter like he did you.

You knew people would believe you if you told them. You knew they’d find their ways to figure out if it’s true or not. But for some reason, you were hesitant. Yes, Peter ruined your life. Yes, Peter broke you in ways you believed were beyond mendable.

But Peter was also the boy who gave you his last Iron-Man bandaid when you scraped your elbow the first time you met. He’s the boy who pushed your bully and got punched in the face for it when you were ten. He’s the boy who saved your life the other day - the boy who saves dozens of strangers every week.

It was clear which option was better.

Keeping his secret didn’t mean you forgave him, though.

After everything, you didn’t know if you allowed yourself to forgive him. Part of you wanted you to, pleaded you to for the sake of moving on, but the more stubborn part of you remembered the pain you went through; the nights you spent crying yourself to sleep, the newfound insecurities of not being enough for anybody, the fear that others will leave you behind like he did.

Hell, you had a locked note in your notes app that contained a long speech about how you felt — about how he made you feel. The one you were to send him — but ended up deleting.

You groaned and rubbed your head, feeling an oncoming headache from the questions. You stayed in your house that weekend, trapped with a racing mind and no answers to slow it down.

------------------------------------------------------

You started noticing Peter act differently towards you when your freshman year of high school was close to ending. It started off with him rescheduling long-awaited plans and then showing up late, but you didn’t mind. He had told you he scored an internship at Stark Industries, and you swore you’d never felt prouder in your entire life.

He informed you that he could be called in at any given moment, which was his reason for leaving in the middle of your hangouts. You understood, and so, you encouraged him to do so.

But then, as time went by, you noticed a change. Instead of postponing the plans, he’d cancel them all together and wouldn’t make up for them. And sometimes, in the rare occasion in which he did postpone them, he’d stand you up, keeping you awake until you were on the brink of sleep.

He apologized multiple times for doing so, blaming it on the time the internship took for him, and you let it go, even when it became a pattern to leave you stranded.

You were okay with it.

Until it became too much.

During lunch, you could never find him, which ended up with you eating alone. During the only class you shared with him, he’d zone out while you were talking and completely ignore you. You’d normally come out of your last period ready to see him standing by your locker to begin your journey home, but he stopped being there, and you would walk home alone.

Texts and calls went unnoticed, and you felt the barrier he had placed between the two of you grow higher and higher as the time passed by.

What bothered you is that it was just with you. He acted completely normal around Ned. You often saw them chatting and laughing while you watched from afar, heart breaking into two as you wondered where you went wrong. You inspected every text message you sent and every conversation you had, often staying up late re-reading it until you reached the top. You just didn’t understand what happened.

One day, you approached him after school, running after him as he bolted through the school’s gates into the outside.

“Hey!” You called as you caught up to him and grabbed his arm, which flexed beneath your grip. You sighed and slightly loosened your grasp, “Can, um, can we talk?”

Peter visibly gulped, hesitantly nodding as his eyes bounced around your figure, never looking at you.

“Peter.” You ran a hand through your hair, carefully choosing your next words as to approach this topic cautiously, “What’s going on with you? You..you’ve been acting weird and distant. D-did do something?”

“I’m not acting weird,” Peter said, almost offendedly, quick to defend himself.

“Peter we haven’t hung out in weeks because you’ve been canceling them.” You retaliated.

“I told you, I-it’s the internship.”

You frowned, heart clenching at the tiredness that seeped into his voice, “I know.” You gave him a small smile, hoping for one in return, “I’m your best friend. I’m always here for you, you know.”

“I-“ He sharply inhaled, scratching the back of his head with his shaking left hand. “I don’t want you to be.”

Your smile instantly dropped, feeling a painful nudge in your stomach, “What?”

“I don’t..this isn’t working, Y/n. We can’t be friends anymore. I’m done.” He said. And so easily, too.

I’m done, he’d said.

Your heart stopped for a moment, taken aback by his bluntness and the harshness that came with his words, “What? Why? N-no.” You denied, "You’re just gonna leave? You can’t do that, I..What did I do?”

“Nothing. It’s just..it’s just better this way.” Peter visibly gulped, looking around the streets like he wasn’t standing there, breaking your fragile heart into pieces while you were trying your hardest to not fall apart right in front of him.

Dignity was still a thing. But so was your friendship.

“I can’t fix this if you won’t let me, Pete.” You pleaded, hoping he’d admit that something was wrong - that it wasn’t you that he was pushing away, that there was a reason for him doing so. You could fix this. You could.

“There’s nothing to fix. I don’t want to be friends, that’s it.” He shrugged, shuffling backward, getting ready to make a run from it.

“No,” you stopped him, grabbing his hand softly, despite the tears that already ran down your face, “There has to be a reason! Y-you can’t just leave like that! Give me a reason! WHAT DID I DO?!”

When he didn’t respond, you gave his loose hand a squeeze and wiped your tears with your sleeve, already feeling stupid for the amount of vulnerability you were displaying, especially when you weren’t getting any sort of reaction out of him besides coldness.

“Peter. Peter, please, just l-let me fix this.” You said, voice cracking, "You’re all I have left. Please don’t do this.”

You were begging. You knew you were, but you couldn’t let him leave without putting up a fight. You were a step away from begging on your knees, but you didn’t. You were able to stop yourself from doing so, but you still believed you could get through whatever this is - you were so sure of it.

But you never did.

And you swore he had ripped your heart from your chest, stepped on it, and nonchalantly walked away, leaving you to deal with the pain of the heartbreak on the sidewalk.

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[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Ray Stantz

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

- You first met Ray when you were both still working at the University. You worked down the hall from him and would run into him frequently.

- In the mornings, the two of you would arrive at the same time and he’d open the door for you. You’d make small talk whenever you ended up in the same room or walking in the same direction and he was always willing to lend you something; or a hand, if you needed it. You didn’t know him incredibly well but you did know that he was a sweet guy.

- Ray had a major crush on you. He pretty much fell for you the moment he saw you but his own insecurities kept him from trying to do anything about it. You were smart, gorgeous, and had an amazing personality. What would you want with him?

- It takes him a while to actually ask you out. He keeps going back and forth on whether or not he should, wondering if he’s willing to make a fool of himself just for the off chance that you’ll agree. Peter has a field day with him when he’s in this state, constantly teasing and prodding, urging him to just get it over with and see what you say.

- There was definitely a few instances of him approaching you and/or opening his mouth to say something to you, then quickly shutting it and excusing himself with an apology. It takes him nearly a year to actually go through with it.

- You were just leaving the building and preparing for your walk home when he caught up with you and somewhat shyly asked if you would like to have dinner with him sometime. To his utter shock, you smiled and agreed, and the two of you made plans to meet.

- The two of you went out to a not so fancy restaurant which was perfect for the occasion. He felt like he was walking on clouds the entire night; here he was, with you, and you actually seemed to like him. What were the odds that you would actually like him?

- But regardless of his disbelief over how lucky he was, the two of you had a really great time together and you were happy to see him again the next day at the university.

- The two of you shared your first kiss on your third date. He was walking you home and you were both stood in front of your door, saying goodbye. You were just about to walk inside when you paused, turning around and placing a gentle kiss on his lips before saying goodnight again and closing your door.

- He was frozen in shock for a good minute and a half but you should have seen the smile on his face.

- It wasn’t long before the two of you considered yourselves a couple, and he couldn’t have been happier.

- Ray is a big sweetheart and you can’t convince me otherwise, though I doubt you would even try. You’ll never meet another man who treats you so right.

- He loves Pda, especially when people recognize him in public. He feels particularly cool with you hanging on his arm.

- Quick giddy kisses. 

- He keeps his hand on your lower back whenever you’re standing together, it’s just a habit of his. 

- He likes using nicknames; he thinks they’re cute. He usually just calls you things like honey, sweetheart, and beautiful; he’s somewhat old fashioned in that regard. He wouldn’t even mind you calling him pet names. In fact, he’d probably love it. 

- He’s a strong boy and proud of it! Ask him to hold something! Ask him to open a pickle jar! Ask him to carry you! He’s got it covered! …Although, occasionally he wont be able to open the pickle jar and you might actually show him up when trying it again for yourself. 

- Cheek kisses. He wraps an arm around your neck and pulls you in, pressing his lips to your cheek enthusiastically and smiling down at you.

- Stealing his sweaters. They’re big and cozy and he melts every time he sees you wearing them.

- Takeout meals. You order in or pick something up at least once a week.

- He’s not afraid to make a fool out of himself so the two of you always have a great time together, filled with jokes and stupid/ridiculous behavior. He loves being able to make you laugh. 

- Cuddling? Sign him the fuck up! No matter what you’re doing, he’ll find a way to squeeze himself beside you and wrap himself around you in some way. Whenever you’re going to bed, you’ll rest your head on his chest with his arms wrapped around you; …or you’ll just be laying almost completely on top of him. 

- A lot of your dates are going to be interrupted, it just sort of comes with the territory. When something strange is in the neighborhood, he’s the one being called so you just have to be patient and understanding. He always makes it up to you anyway.

- Occasionally, he’ll stop and pick up flowers or a movie you’ve been wanting to see from the rental place on his way home. He likes surprising you with something nice, especially if he was called away when you were supposed to spend time together.

- Becoming close with Egon, Winston and Peter. You see them constantly so it’s sort of hard not to.

- Sticking by his side and cheering him up when the Ghostbusters aren’t too popular anymore. 

- You may or may not be a partial owner of the bookshop. As much as he loves being a Ghostbuster, he can’t deny that he likes running the place with you. 

- He’s always there if you need someone to get you something or somewhere. He’s particularly good at pushing through crowds and coming up with things to say that will make it easier for you to do what you have to do. He also just doesn’t take no for an answer so, ya know. 

- He’s a total pushover when it comes to you. You can always convince him to do something for you.

- Ray looks like he knows how to fix things. He looks and acts like a man I could trust with my things. If my car broke down, his smiling face would be the one I would ask to help me. So, if you need anything fixed around your house, all you have to do is ask. 

- Little traditions. Things like watching a specific show after dinner, going to a certain place every weekend or eating certain things on certain days. 

- He loves hugs, they’re pretty much his favorite thing in the entire world.

- Random playful harassment. He kind of likes to tease you, jokingly making fun of and tickling you. He thinks the way you react is cute and it’s usually after you do or say something to him so technically it’s revenge. 

- Now, I’m not saying that Ray owns action figures or other toys of that nature, but Ray would definitely be the type to own them.... You may or may not have a little shelf full of figures when you move in together. 

- He’s a big fan of going to zoos. You practically know the animals at your local zoo by name from how many times you go to see them. 

- Carnival and amusement park dates. 

- He gets this dopey smile on his face whenever you try to give him a massage or dote on him in anyway. He’s just so overjoyed that you actually like him and care about his wellbeing. He also just loves the feeling of your hands. 

- Ray sort of craves domesticity. Seeing you wearing one of his shirts and cooking breakfast or being there to welcome him home after work or surprising him by doing some chores would literally make him melt. He’s a centimeter away from proposing to you on the spot.

- The two of you are pretty much the epitome of two best friends dating. You have the time of your lives together and are always completely comfortable and happy in each others presences. 

- Walking around New York together. You wind up just wandering around the city a lot, occasionally stopping for food or drinks or whatever comes to mind when you pass a store. 

- He isn’t the most sensitive person to talk to when you’re upset or scared about something but he apologizes when he goes off on a tangent or says the wrong thing. Don’t blame him too much, he’s got a skewed view of what’s considered a problem rather than a good scientific discovery. 

- Ray gets easily excited about a lot of things, he’s sort of like a puppy at times so even though you might not be so amused with a situation, he’ll be incredibly happy. Whenever he notices that you aren’t thrilled, he’ll usually just give you a sheepish smile and a “sorry honey”. 

- Having him randomly show up and borderline embarrass you when something big is found out. Just picture the restaurant scene from the second movie.

- Visiting him at the office. 

- Letting him gush to you about the paranormal and supernatural. 

- Helping him with his research, experiments, and invention. He loves having you around and hearing your input.  

- He’s definitely named something after you, whether it be a theory, project or machine he’s created. It’s cute, in a geeky sort of way. 

- Be prepared to get scared and not just by ghosts. Sometimes Ray will just pop into view out of nowhere, excitedly talking about something he just saw and scaring the living daylights out of you. He doesn’t understand why you’re looking at him like that, did he do something wrong? 

- He works with all things supernatural and paranormal; he’s seen a lot over the years and because of that, he’s gradually gotten more and more protective of you over time. Wouldn’t you if you knew that evil slime once ran wild underneath your girlfriends apartment? 

- He gets particularly miffed when jealous, not livid or angry just …miffed. You know he’s not upset with you but you can tell that something is bothering him. Occasionally, you won’t even have to figure out what because he’ll insult whoever he’s jealous of like he’s talking about the weather. 

- The two of you don’t really fight all too often, you rarely have a reason too, even though your lives are incredibly hectic most of the time. He doesn’t really have one certain way of responding when he’s angry, everything depend on the situation. One day, you’ll bicker, the next, you’ll yell.

- He always feels bad whenever he snaps at you. Almost immediately after he storms out, he’ll get this pang of guilt in his chest and debate on whether or not he should just walk back in and apologize. He usually doesn’t right then; wanting to give you time to yourself, but does come back not very long after and apologizes, admitting he was wrong if he was and asking if things are alright between the two of you.

- He’s always happy to say he loves you, and gosh does he love hearing you say it.

- Your family probably loves him. He’s a guy that’s easy to get along with …and he’s a ghostbuster so he’s got that going for him.

- Ray is sooo ready to have kids and settle down with you, he’s just waiting until he’s in a more stable work environment. He doesn’t need any ghosties lurking in your kids nursery, even if he’s the most equipped to get rid of them.

[elenatria]

Comrades! You need, NEED, to watch the movie “Radioactive”. Apart from Rosamund Pike being amazing and the film being directed by a woman, Marjane Satrapi, the film is not only a great story about a great woman BUT, since she and her husband basically discovered radiations, in the movie are shown also short scenes of the consequences of their discoveries: a boy with cancer cured by a new radiation machine in the 50s, the first atomic bomb on Japan at the end of the II War, Americans in the 60s doing nuclear test in the desert and laughing at how realistic the the mannequins and the buildings in the explosion zone are while people pay 50 cents to sit there with sunglasses and watch the atomic bomb explode, AND OF COURSE CHERNOBYL: I recognized it even before the subtitle came out because we see a young and scared but heroic firefighter entering a burning building and helping out men dressed in white with strange hat (the fucking hats, comrades). Later in the movie we see Marie Curie having sort of dreams/nightmares/visions in which she sees her dead loved ones but also the different consequences of her work: the kid fighting chancer thanks to a new therapy based on her discoveries, a Japanes man in a hospital after the Hiroshima explosion and finally she walks to another hospital chamber where she sees a young man in a bed and it’s the young Chernobyl firefighter. She sits next to him, takes his hand and kisses his forehead and the boy, despite having his face burnt by radiations, smiles at her. Maybe not the best movie of the year but it’s a must see in my humble opinion.

Thanks a lot for finally making me sit my ass down and watch this movie.

It’s remarkable in many ways. Not only was it directed by the great Marjan Satrapi (and who doesn’t like Rosamund Pike in roles of strong independent women) but also its music is dreamlike as well as nightmarish and very fitting of the film’s subject matter. If radiation was beautiful electronic music, it would sound like this soundtrack.

Strangely enough the male characters, even if they’re forced to stay in the background, are not complete puppets paving the way for Marie’s brilliance. They’re supportive but flawed, likeable without being too mushy, or forcefully annoying like we’ve seen in many recent “feminist” films. Instead of screaming “MALE PRIVILEGE!!1″ all the time like in most American movies, they’re silently entitled, like in real life. 

The “nice men” in the story  are such feminists that they clear the table while their wives have scientific conversations..

… or hand them napkins while the women explain Uranium’s chemical reactions.

Beware, for the hurt in these men’s eyes is real. 

If I were a tad more cynical I’d call it a feminist-retconning chick flick but the movie is too good for that.

It also gives us some great lines.

Marie: “An instinct is not a particularly scientific reason.”

Pierre: “No, but it’s still a reason.”

Frankly,  I find the dialogues and the whole script quite lively. A breath of fresh air. Even when they’re bickering “like an old married couple”, Marie and Pierre sound brilliant.

The film also has beautiful “encyclopedic” illustrations like uranium here.

More scientific/poetic imagery, like young Marie forming the atom with berries in her basket…

… or radioactivity presented as a dancer bathed in an eerie green glow.

Thankfully, Marie and Pierre’s flirtation is not cringey at all. When he proposes to her, she kisses him. 

Pierre: “You’re not selfish. You’re just… self-absorbed.”

(why thank you, Pierre, didn’t know this movie talks about moi )

More of those “omg did I ghost write this?” moments.

(”when”, not “what”, apologies for crappy subs)

Yeah, me too.

And yes, the movie almost feels like a distant relative to HBO’s Chernobyl, like The Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them to Chernobyl’s Harry Potter. 

For instance, Pierre gets his “Boris moment” as he coughs blood into his handkerchief, minutes before he receives their Nobel prize.

Marie gets her Spartacus/”You will do it because it must be done” moment when women in the audience give her a standing ovation as she receives her second Nobel prize.

The juxtaposition between Pierre’s acceptance speech (”Radiation is both useful and extremely dangerous if it falls in the wrong hands, but MOSTLY USEFUL”) and the drop of Enola Gay is beautiful and haunting. 

And ooooh, there it is (hey, did someone steal the Renck Bros’ font?).

Btw, Marie Curie died of aplastic anemia, guess you remember that one, huh.

And if you’re still wondering why everyone looks familiar in this film, like, Chernobyl- familiar, I’ll give you a clue.

Marie’s sister,  Bronia Sklodowska, is played by Sian Brooke.

Yes, THAT Sian Brooke.

Marie’s Mother is played by Georgina Rich.

Come on, GEORGINA RICH?

Last but not least, Marie’s fellow scientist, Paul Langevin, is played by Aneurin Barnard…

… who was in Dunkirk…

… with our boy Barry.

Talking about “Six degrees of Chernobyl”, huh.

[joopiterjoon]

Adored and Nothing More

Pairing: YoonJin Queerplatonic

Genre: PG, Slice of Life, Fluff?

Warnings/Tags: Aro!Jin, Ace-Spectrum!Yoongi, handholding, YoonJin complaining, self-discovery

Wordcount: 3k

A/n: I wrote this based on a joke with @kpopfan-antics... and then turned it into a fic.. and made it soft because what else is new.

Part of FicsWithLuv’s FWLBingo!

“Coffee?” Yoongi’s voice draws Jin out of his intense focus on the game that’s been in his hands so long they’re cramping. Jin blinks a few times before he fully registers the small man in his doorway. He leans on Jin’s doorframe, hair a mess and hoodie on despite the summer heat. It’s a typical contrast to be seen in the apartment- Jin in his boxers and a sweatshirt while Yoongi’s bundled up head-to-toe.

The most recent apartment suits them well. In college, the soft pastels of Jin’s side seemed comedic compared to Yoongi’s all-black-or-bust space. Now, Jin’s room faces the sun, while Yoongi’s faces the adjacent apartment building. Jin can look out into the day, and Yoongi’s room is kept cool by the lack of light.

Jin gives a small smile to his roommate before heaving out of the bed for the first time all day. He groans as he stretches.

“Old man,” Yoongi teases.

“Hey, that’s rich coming from you,” Jin argues as he shucks his hoodie and pulls a shirt over his head. “An old man would wish he looked this good.”

“Well, “ Yoongi begins despite walking into the living space towards the door, “You must be that good looking old man ‘cause only old guys groan like that when they stand.”

Jin frows as he trots after Yoongi’s huddled, waddling form.

“Like this?” Jin imitates the sound again while he bends to put his shoes on. “Or this?” He does it louder with his whole chest as they head out. “Or like-”

Jin stops abruptly when he sees their neighbors in the hall, startled by Jin’s noises. His ears burn as he bows deeply. “Sorry.”

Yoongi snickers, tugging Jin along with a loose grip on his hand. Jin’s amazed that in all his layers, Yoongi’s fingers are actually cold. He grips tighter to warm them.

“Hey,” Jin pipes up as they get on the street. “An old man would never shout like that either, you know?”

Yoongi side-eyes him and pulls a baseball cap lower over his eyes. He got a haircut last week, and the hat shows off his undercut well. But Jin knows how chaotic his hair is underneath. Still, somehow Yoongi looks cute with his hair fucked up and askew. “Mhm, sure.”

Satisfied, Jin bounces along next to his roommate. It’s a nice day out, Yoongi’s favorite kind. Good weather and few people. They stay quiet, taking note of the small changes in their neighborhood since the last time they left the house. Both introverts, Jin and Yoongi make a dangerously homebound pairing. If it weren’t for Yoongi’s dire need for specialty coffee, they would barely leave the house in the summer.

They head toward the small coffee shop that Yoongi chose as “his” coffee shop. Yoongi had a tendency to do that. He picked something he liked and stuck with it. Like Jin, his eternal roommate. And seeing as Jin and Yoongi had similar preferences in activities and lifestyles, Jin became what Yoongi stuck with very often. Jin would tease him, but really, he appreciated it. He’s comfortable with Yoongi. Content. He frequently finds it hard to balance his affection and sincerity with friends, yet Yoongi has always seemed to understand how Jin works.

“Woah,” Jin says as they enter the shop. It’s almost empty. He checks the large, driftwood clock hanging in the back of the small space. “Yoongi, it’s 3 pm.”

“Correct,” Yoongi answers curtly. They shuffle between the little square tables for two and up to the front.

“Yoongi, I’ve been in bed until 3 pm?”

“Correct.”

“Why didn’t you get me sooner? I haven’t eaten all day!” Jin whines. He throws his arms up in distress and nearly knocks over the little, inconveniently empty case of muffins on the counter.

“I’m not your keeper, old man,” Yoongi retorts and smiles politely to their barista.

“Just for that comment, you have to come and get naengmyeon with me after this,” Jin sniffs. 

“Awh,” she giggles behind the counter. “You two are always cute together.”

“Oh,” Jin and Yoongi both say. They give each other an up-down, then focus on their conjoined hands. It’s not the first time they’ve been mislabeled. It’s happened so often that they know exactly what the cashier means by “cute together.”

“Oh,” the cashier repeats, covering her embarrassment. “Are you not dating?”

Both of them open their mouths to respond, but neither say anything. They just stare, blank-faced and slack-jawed, at the barista. There’s not usually a pause here. One of them is quick to correct. The pause gives way to another pause as they both consider the weight of the first.

“I don’t think so,” Jin finally says.

“No,” Yoongi says more firmly yet still too late.

“No?” Jin’s a bit offended at how assured Yoongi sounded.

“Did you think we were?” Yoongi curls his lip in frustration. “You just said you don’t think so.”

“Yeah,” Jin agrees, his ears tinting pink. Sure, he doesn’t. But…

Are we dating? It’s a question that’s made Jin nervous his whole life. He always gets close, closer, closest to people. He feels happy, content to have someone close who knows him and values his presence. But, then, there’s always that “next step” others ask for. Something he never recognizes is there until after he confronts these kinds of situations. Situations like romance. Where someone wants him in a way that implies so much more than what he wants. The awkward moments when someone leans in for a kiss and Jin has to say explain there’s been a miscommunication. 

He never thinks they’re dating. He doesn’t feel a need to date, or what people mean by date. He just likes to be close to people he cares for. Jin’s thought about it many times. Why what he wants exudes wanting more to others when he likes what they have.

He thought Yoongi felt the same. Years and years of closeness.Someone who felt good to cuddle when they watched a movie. Someone who he could always talk to. Someone who never made him worried he might want more, that something people want that Jin just doesn’t. And now... “I thought you might think that we might be what we aren’t.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“So you do?”

Yoongi’s lip curls in confusion. “No?”

Yoongi blinks a few times, pout prominent as he becomes confused. “No what?”

They both let out a frustrated sigh. At this point, the barista slinks away to make their drinks, the slightest bit guilty for whatever she just caused. Jin turns to face Yoongi. Yoongi’s slouched against the counter, nonchalant, but his eyes dart between Jin’s trying to read him. Jin asks again, “Are we dating?”

“I don’t know,” Yoongi says, rubbing at his other arm since he can’t cross them as long as they are holding hands. He finally looks away, and Jin’s heart jumps a bit at the nerves he’s showing. “You tell me.”

“I think…” Jin startles a bit at the sound of the latte machine. He hopes for a reprieve, the noise too loud for them to keep talking, but he doesn’t get that. The quartet of grinding beans and pressurized air quickly ends. Maybe it’s a sign to keep going. He really doesn’t want to do this in a coffee shop, but… “I think sometimes we are.”

Yoongi sighs again, but he doesn’t look back up, just waves Jin off. “Well, tell me when sometimes turns to a definitive.” 

“Nah,” Jin says, shaking his head, “I like how things are. Can we just keep doing this?”

“Alright then,” Yoongi nods. He drags them down to the open side of the counter as the barista cups their drinks. “Still want to go to dinner?”

“As a non-date date?” Jin asks, perking up. Whatever doing this is. That is a date usually, but it’s not a date for them.

“Jesus,” Yoongi crinkles his nose. “If that’s a date, we’ve been dating for years.”

“Maybe we have,” Jin says, blinking a few times. Maybe he’s right. If this is what they want to call it, it’s been a while. An apologetic barista slides two coffees across the counter as the two stand in silence for a moment. “That would be ideal. But I thought we weren’t-”

“Do not start this again,” Yoongi cuts him off and turns to find a table.

Jin doesn’t. He sits with Yoongi while he drinks his coffee. They check the weather to search for a time to go camping. They’ve tried to plan a trip three times this summer. Jin loves camping with Yoongi.

Late at night when they wait for the coals to cool in the fire, Yoongi talks the most. He talks about the world more when he’s not really in it. Being deep in the woods can feel like being in a different world. Jin likes taking Yoongi camping to help him gain perspective and for them to be out but with no one around. And on those trips, Jin’s thought about it. How if he had to be stuck with one person forever, it would be Yoongi. 

They toss their drinks and head back out. It’s quiet again as Jin follows the GPS on his phone. He tries to focus, but now there’s an idea in the back of his head. Is it this easy? Is this… okay? Is Yoongi going to want more? He’s never wanted more all this time. Jin’s sure he doesn’t want more.

Finally, after they get to the restaurant and order their food, Jin can’t take it anymore. He talks to Yoongi about anything and everything directly. He can talk about this. They are eternal roommates. It’ll be fine. They already addressed it before. Just not as much as he wanted.

Still, he can’t find an in, a moment to clear the air. So he gives up distracting himself, which seems to be what Yoongi’s doing because he won’t put his phone down.

“Why are you on your phone?” Jin asks.

“Googling us,” Yoongi says. He misses his straw a few times while he keeps reading.

Jin blushes. “Look, if anything strange comes up about a GoFundMe from 2012-”

“That’s not what I mean,” Yoongi says, crunching on an ice cube. “It’s called Queerplatonic.”

“That wasn’t the name of my GoFundMe but it’s kind of close.”

“I don’t want to know,” Yoongi says. “This. The thing we do. Are doing. Think we might… nevermind.”

Yoongi huffs out his frustration and flips his phone over on the table. Jin leans over the rickety bar table toward his pouty roommate. At this point, Jin had half a mind that what happened before was a joke for the barista. Now he finds out Yoongi’s been pondering the same thing in his head all afternoon. “Yoongi, you do want to date me, don’t you?”

Yoongi grumbles incoherently as he scratches at his ear. Jin leans back in his seat with a sigh. Ah. “I’m telling you, it’s fine. Everyone wants to date me. And apparently everyone thinks I want to date them. You are not immune.”

Yoongi’s head pops up, irritated as usual by Jin’s ego, and reminds him, “Earlier you literally said you’d be fine dating me.”

“I’m fine non-dating dating you,” Jin says.

“Queerplatonic,” Yoongi clarifies, waving the phone.

“Give me that,” Jin takes the phone from Yoongi. It’s some stylized Wiki page. He glances up at Yoongi, ears a bit pink. “You’re sitting here deciphering us without including me?”

“You’d talk so much I wouldn’t be able to read,” Yoongi shrugs. “Plus, I’ve seen you staring at my nonstop. I know you are thinking about the same shit over there.”

“You say that like you don’t talk all the time,” Jin pauses to nod in thanks to the waiter who sets their beers on the table. Jin drinks a bit more than he should off the bat. “You even talk in your sleep!”

Yoongi petulantly purses his lips. “If you aren’t going to read, give me my phone back.”

Jin leans back with the phone close to his chest and reads through the article. As he goes, he feels tension in his shoulders unwinding. 

What he’s reading in his hands, this is him. Moreover, it’s what he and Yoongi have. And some people, apparently, are okay staying this way.

“Yoongi,” Jin breathes, scrolling further. Yoongi doesn’t answer, he just keeps eating and watching Jin’s face nervously. “Is this… I think I’m this.”

“What is this? There’s like, 20 definitions on that site,” Yoongi gripes.

“I don’t know… something on this?” Jin says, scrolling again.

When he hears Yoongi put his beer down, he glances up. Yoongi’s hand is out on the table, palm up, inviting. Jin takes it hesitantly. He’s always liked holding Yoongi’s hand. There’s nothing implied. Nothing extra expected. Just touching someone. He takes it.

“Are you telling me you’ve never considered your sexuality?” Yoongi asks, wiping his mouth. Jin glances around at the other tables chattering and laughing over assortments of comfort food. No one’s really paying them much mind.

“Um, I mean, I guess I thought this wasn’t a sexuality? More of a libido thing. Not for me. I still like sex and stuff, but maybe every other month?” Jin trails off. Honestly, it’s something he’s tried to ignore thinking about.

“Well, I don’t really,” Yoongi says bluntly. 

“Why didn’t you say something?” Jin asks.

“I did,” Yoongi tries to sound nonchalant, but he hides behind his beer.

“When?” Jin asks, exasperated.

“Do you remember when we were watching that Avengers movie that made no sense?”

“Yoongi, for the millionth time, you can’t just choose to watch Civil War without watching any of the other--”

“That’s not the point,” Yoongi groans over Jin until he stops talking. “We were sitting there. Just chilling. And I said I liked this. And you said you, too. And then you held my hand, and I... leaned my head on your shoulder and shit.”

“That was…” Jin rubs his chin. “That was a confession?”

“I mean,” Yoongi shrugs, but he looks a bit annoyed.

“Oh.”

“I was pretty sure you were aromantic,” Yoongi continues, “or at least something of the sort. I mean, didn’t you google it?”

“I don’t google this stuff, I just deal with it,” Jin scoffs, but he feels his ears burning. He glances at Yoongi’s phone again. Aromanticism (or aromanticity) is an orientation in which someone does not experience romantic attraction. Aromanticism is often confused for asexuality, but asexuality is only a lack of sexual attraction. Not all asexuals are aromantic, nor are all aromantics asexual**. That.

He reads it aloud. “I think that’s me. Like, maybe both. But not all the time? But most of the time.”

“Okay, well, that’s cool,” Yoongi says. Simple. The simpleness of it all almost makes Jin urge to create something more. Not exactly drama. But now he’s finally talking about it, he wants to know a bit more. Especially now that he knows he and Yoongi have been on different pages about who they were to each other for almost a year. And he’s a bit overwhelmed with the fact that what Yoongi wants is to just stay how they are. It’s a bit too surreal to be reality.

Jin chews on his lip. “Do you like me?”

“I don’t like anyone,” Yoongi clarifies. He fumbles with his words a bit, frowning while he gets his thoughts together. He settles with, “But you’re okay.”

“No, I mean,” Jin takes a deep breath in. He laughs nervously. “Isn’t it scary? It feels like… I’m broken. Like I’m supposed to like you more than I do or in some, I don’t know, some other way I can’t fathom?” Jin chuckles nervously. He inhales the salty air mixed with the familiar smell of burning grease. “I didn’t expect to admit something is wrong with me and my dick at a dive restaurant.”

“Nothing is fuckin’ wrong with you,” Yoongi squeezes his hand. Jin glances away at the small compliment, which sounded more like a command. It makes him flustered. “First of all, I’m disappointed you are falling into the ploy of a nuclear family or some shit. The idea of some kind of ideal romantic relationship is commercialized and definitely benefits the economy. The entire dating culture. Don’t even get me started on gifts.”

“I already know how you feel about gifts,” Jin cuts in.

“Exactly, you know me, and I like to think I know you,” Yoongi says, his voice getting quiet at the end. Jin glances up to see something rare. Dusted pink chubby cheeks. He wants to pinch them, fidgeting in his seat.

“Jin, I like being with you, if that’s what you mean,” Yoongi sighs. “I like that we can just be us. I like doing things with you. I don’t want to put a label on it, just like I don’t want to put a label on myself. But the whole romantic thing? Not me. What we have? That fits me. I want to keep doing that. Do you want to keep doing that?”

Jin nods immediately. Yes, yes he does. He loves doing things with Yoongi. “But aren’t we supposed to do more? Get somewhere with it? I don’t know, profess our love?”

Yoongi drops back in his chair with a groan. “Jin, we aren’t supposed to anything. We can do what we want. Tell me what you want. You be you. I’ll be me. We always speak our minds, right? We just be ourselves. Talk to each other. Be, uh, together.”

Yoongi’s words start to drown into the sound of the restaurant, his palm sweaty in Jin’s. Jin smiles softly. He’s nervous. Cute. “Wow, I’m the worst. Here you are having to guide me through all this.”

“You are the worst,” Yoongi agrees. “I can deal with that, though.”

“Okay,” Jin says. He inhales and lets out a shaky breath. “Yeah, um. This is what I want. What I like. What we’re, you know, doing. Coffee and eating and living.”

Yoongi nods. “Alright. That wasn’t so bad. Now let’s eat and go stargazing or some other shit. The weather’s too nice to go home yet.”

Jin smiles softly. The food comes to the table and they both separate, picking up their chopsticks, and dig in. It’s easy. Comfortable. Content.

**This information came from this website [the website will be here in a bit. Tumblr is flagging posts with links so i’m waiting a bit before inserting it]

© July 2020 JoopiterJoon. Protected by Creative Commons. If you repost my work in any form or say “credit to author” I will find you and ruin you :D

Characters only borrow name and likeness from the members. Do not copy, translate, repost, or reuse this work.

[iamnotawomanimagod]

Manic Review - From “Least-Best” to Best

Halsey released her third studio album on 1/17/2020, and it is easily her best. I’ve wanted to talk about it, but first, I need to figure out how I feel about each track in relation to the others. So this is mostly for me, but I’d love to hear how other people are feeling too!

I love all of these songs, I feel so blessed with this album, which is why this goes from “least-best” to “best”, not “worst.” 

(I know that’s kind of splitting semantic hairs, but I refuse to disrespect this album, lmao.)

So, without further ado, here are my favorite songs on Manic, starting with the one I like the least:

16 - “Alanis’s Interlude”

This is THE bisexual anthem we’ve all been waiting for from Halsey. It’s cool, sexy, and features some stellar vocals from both Alanis and Halsey. It ranks so low for me only because I’m not a huge fan of the chorus, the machine drums, or the melody, despite loving the message. But the verses are fire, and so are the vocals.

15 - “Still Learning”

I think this track will be a slow-grower for me, the way “Devil in Me” was. Maybe it’s just because it comes on the heels of the deeply, deeply impactful “More” - but I found this didn’t strike the chord I thought it would. It’s a beautiful song, though, and very meaningful to Halsey’s personal journey. I think seeing it live might change my mind about it.

14 - “Finally // beautiful stranger” 

This might be the sweetest side of Halsey that we’ve ever seen, especially when it comes to romantic love. The fact that it was inspired by Yungblud makes my heart ache a bit. I really love the duality of the different versions of Ashley in the video. That being said, the genre/style of song isn’t my personal favorite. Her vocals are amazing, though, and some of the lyrics are really poetic. I know this will be an especially tender one live, in front of a Halsey crowd. I can just picture everyone swaying and singing along.

13 - “SUGA’s Interlude” 

This interlude is such a soft, sad moment on the album, and it fits really well before “More.” SUGA’s Interlude is all about the way fame has changed both artists, and about how they’ll know when it’s time to step away from the spotlight - and how that might change them. SUGA has excellent flow, and Halsey’s delicate, pining vocals on the chorus is a perfect complement to his introspective rapping. It’s a really sweet song, and part of why it works so well on the album is because it creates such a heartfelt prelude to “More”. The song all about leaving fame behind, followed by the song about loving her unborn child, and how she badly wants to be a mother...gives me chills, man, literal chills. I think I’d like it more if I spoke Korean, but honestly, Korean Halsey fans deserve somethin’ special, so I’m okay with it.

12 - “You should be sad”

I still don’t know if I quite “buy” Y’allsey, but I can’t deny that this is a really fun song. Singing along to the lyrics is so satisfying, and the music video provided us with some serious Looks. The guitar riff between the chorus and the verses makes me feel things, and so does the line: “I’m so glad I never ever had a baby with you,” especially after hearing “More”. I like this song a lot, but compared to the rest of the album, it’s not in my top ten. I think it’ll be a really, really fun one live, though.

11 - “Without Me”

This song and I share a birthday! It’s also where Manic really began, although we had no idea that was the case, at the time. This was the first time Halsey wrote from such a specific and personal place, knowing we would all immediately recognize who the song targeted and why. She’s used this song brilliantly since then, coming up with a dozen different interpretations and set pieces, performing it while chained to a post, while revealing the messages of her cheating ex, while dancing with a beautiful girl, and even more. (It helps a lot that she performed this song with Jade Chynoweth, one of my all-time favorite dancers, and responded to the backlash of that performance by doing it again, but even gayer, just a few weeks later.) We owe a lot to this song. And, as it turns out, it really fits in with the story of Manic, and with the tone, from both a sonic and thematic perspective. I’m still a little tired of it, though, which is why it ranks so low. But - credit where it’s due!

10 - “Dominic’s Interlude” 

This one surprised me, although I went in with zero expectations, not knowing who Dominic Fike was. I wish Halsey was actually in this song, but other than that, I think it’s a great interlude. Not to mention: “If you’re looking for signs then you should know, there’s power in the words that you’re thinking.” That’s an incredible line, hit me hard. 

9 - “Ashley”

I both love and hate what this song means, because it scares the crap out of me. The way she described it as “a cautious goodbye” in an interview... It’s absolutely a letter to her fans, about Halsey, about who Halsey is, and who Ashley is, and how that balancing act both breaks her and makes her thrive. She can’t keep doing this forever. She knows how much she means to us, and this song is all about how heavy and scary that burden is, but that she’s committed to it, for now. Ending with that line from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was perfect. We’re the ones who shouldn’t assign her our peace of mind, y’know? Her vocals are stunning, though, and I think it’s the strongest opener from any of her albums. This song reminds me of a much less depressing version of “Batter Up” by Brand New, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it influenced her a bit.

8 - “Graveyard”

This song really feels like the older sister of “Without Me”. I love the racing speed of the melody and the rhythm, the way everything is layered so manically and frantically over the verses. It’s actually really easy to get lost in the musicality of this one, even though the lyrics are incredible. I think the music video is my all-time favorite of Halsey’s, because I love all the symbolism in it, and it was really trippy to see her without tattoos. I’ll consider this one a bop for a long, long time.

7 - “clementine” 

We’ve had this song for a little while, and it’s been one of my favorites. I was pretty sure it was going to stay that way, even after the album came out, but Halsey surprised me. That being said, I still love the way this song manages to be both playful and petulant, spirited and sad. It has some really beautiful images, and the music video is so pretty. 

6 - “I HATE EVERYBODY” 

We love a song full of contradictions! This song takes the humor/self-deprecation that started in “Clementine” and “Forever... (is a long time)” and turns it anthemic. The transition from “Dominic’s Interlude” to this song is so perfect, it’s hard not to listen to them one after the other. Halsey once again proves her lyrical prowess and ability to write a relatable bop, which is really what we love her for in the end, right? I love the way the song starts out pretty simply, than swells up into something epic.

5 - “3am”

I love this genre, so much, and I think Halsey completely nails it. This song wouldn’t make anyone bat an eye if you played it in 2007. Most other Halsey songs can’t claim that, and since I’m a sucker for the aughties, this one lives high on my list. It reminds me of P!nk, Avril Lavigne, and Paramore. The lyrics are super relatable, and I love the chorus and the bridge. It’s not the best lyrically, but that bridge honestly makes up for what the rest of the song lacks. Can’t wait to scream that one live! I do wish John Mayer wasn’t rambling on the end, but I also love how that leads into “Without Me”. 

4 - “929″ 

This might sound strange, but I love how this song starts with just Ashley talking; she’s speaking through laughter, challenging her friend playfully. This song feels so real. I love the stream-of-consciousness style of lyrics and the way the melody plays into that. Her voice reminds me so much of early, early Halsey - songs like “Tilt You Back” and “For Ruby”. I can relate so much to some of the things she says, and I love the way it ends. It’s such an interesting contrast to the way her previous albums concluded, too - “Young God” and “Hopeless” are both such epic, sweeping tracks. Ending her most personal album yet with such a tender ode to self-acceptance, and self-discovery, is such a beautiful way to show how much she’s grown, as a person, a songwriter, and a singer. This song makes me nostalgic, proud, happy, just a little sad, and feel so at peace.

3 - “More”

I almost don’t really have words for this song. Knowing Halsey’s story, her very honest and public experiences with infertility and endometriosis, made this song hit me a lot harder than I ever expected. I still can’t quite get through it without crying. It’s an incredibly beautiful song. Painfully, painfully honest, about a topic that’s so rarely openly discussed in pop culture. I don’t even want kids, but the yearning she shows, the hope she still has, the way she says that she’s loved her future child more than anything, and has always loved them; the reference to having already bought baby clothes; the sound of the sonogram machine, and the way it sounds like she’s singing to her baby from outside the womb at the end; it guts me. And again, I don’t want kids. I never expected this kind of honesty or tenderness from her. It’s such a special song, truly. (For the record, I listened to it again to write this and am fully weeping once more.)

2 - “Forever... (is a long time)” 

What a surprise this song was! I think it perfectly captures a certain kind of self-destructive behavior that so many of us end up falling into when it comes to relationships. The way the song goes from happy and plucky to this burgeoning feeling of dread, of spiraling down into those dark thoughts that trip all of us up from time to time. It goes from a love song to a break-up song in a matter of seconds, and the transition is spine-tinglingly perfect. The storm building in the background, starting with thunder and dissipating into rain. The way her voice comes back in with the same melody, but minor instead of major. The way the song sort of disintegrates into chaos, and into the realization: “talk to your man...tell him he’s got bad news comin’.” (This is definitely about the Yungblud breakup, right? Nevermind, my heart can’t take that. Gonna pretend I didn’t just realize that.)

1 - “killing boys” 

Jennifer’s Body is one of my absolute favorite movies, unironically. I love that Halsey loves it too, enough to include lines from it in the most badass boss bitch song she’s written since “Nightmare”. Her vocals are incredible (those high notes!) - the lyrics are the perfect blend of regretful and rageful - the beat, melodies, and overall composition just fills me up with this impossibly strong sense of “fuck yeah, fuck you.” I don’t have the words to describe how this song makes me feel. I had high hopes, based on the title, and it did not disappoint. This song has some of the cleverest lines on the entire record, and it makes me feel a way that no other song does. That’s what seals it at #1, for me (for now.)

Feel free to reply with yours, or tag me in your own review!! I’m really excited to see some of the more detailed opinions people have, now that the initial “IT’S HERE” hype has started to subside.

stream MANIC by HALSEY today

[harryglom]

UNORTHODOX- The Price of Freedom

(Spoilers for the entire mini series Unorthodox)

Unorthodox is a very conventional story and also an unprecedented one.

It is at its core a coming of age story, a fish out of water story, a marriage story and a drama about finding a meaningful life. However it is also the first high-budget mainstream exploration of the lives of members of the ultra-orthodox Jewish community. It gives voice to a woman, and in-turn many women like her, who have never been seen or heard from in mainstream media. We are party to the self discovery of a woman who has had too much expected of her from God, her community and herself. She escapes to Berlin from New York, running away from a life without freedom to a liberal metropolis resting atop a historic centre of Jewish hatred, the regime her own grandparents had escaped from. The show refuses to give easy answers, happy endings or tragic melodrama: we are witness to a single part of Esty's story and in it we see her begin to assert power in her life or, at the very least, recognise she has more power over it than she had previously thought.

Esty's journey is shown in two timelines: her time in Williamsburg transitioning into a marriage with the well-meaning Yankee whilst under the watchful eye of the community and her time in Berlin, having befriended a group of liberal musicians who help her to adjust to the outside world. The scenes themselves are often matter of fact but the depth of the performances, the pacing, cinematography and music create an atmosphere that allows its naturalism to transcend into more than a slice of life drama. Berlin is distilled into its most outlandish: bars spill out onto the streets, clubs are loud and full of smoke, coffee shops are alien and austere, concert halls are modern and bright, fashion is extraneous, flesh is bared and squares are packed full of men and women from all walks of life. We can sympathise with Esty if her curiosity blooms or she gets overwhelmed by this modern world due to the sheer vividness of the city the show brings to life.

Between these frames, for most of the run-time, stands our protagonist: Esty Shapiro. Her world view is communicated quietly, often silently, in the way her eyes interact with the world around her. The subtlety of her characterisation is married with the movement of the camera: when Esty is stressed or determined we follow her closely, the outside world blurred into insignificance whilst when she chooses to observe the world, time is taken to pick up the sort of details she would also be acknowledging. From the smaller moments, like noting the strangeness of night club wrist stamps and the initial starkness of seeing queer intimacy shown in front of her without shame, or grander changes, like naked bodies at the beach or the beauty of an orchestra operating as a single organism-- the camera and Esty are unified. This makes us intimately aware of who she is, how much this experience means to her and, thanks to the flashbacks, how much she fights to be the person we see in front of us.

The behaviour of the Ultra-Orthodox community is realised with unflinching realism. Where lesser dramas would have made moralistic tales about any number of the themes touched upon-- post-Holocaust guilt, cultural trauma, matchmaking and arranged marriages, gossip and pride, gender roles, alcoholism and gambling addiction within the community, the relationship of the community to other Jewish streams and Israel, the tactics deployed to control the community and alienate those who do successfully escape-- they are explored as they would be experienced. These are all just parts of people's lives: they're presented anecdotally, matter-of-factly and, because of the pressures of the community to appear perfect, suppressed from being discussed explicitly. The most frank exploration of a single issue is in the third episode, arguably the show's best, where the story uses both timelines to interrogate and reclaim female sexuality. This may sound like hyperbole, but the rigidity and oppression of sexual norms, the objectification of Esty's body that is enforced by both men and women alike, recalls The Handmaid's Tale at its worse and it is abominable that any woman should live as deprived of information, emotional support or the right to consent. Even when Esty quotes the Talmud, that textually demands of men the pleasuring of women, Yankee simply says that women shouldn't read the Talmud. The frustration, ignorance and pain is expressed viscerally and uncomfortably.

Yet, in another way that recalls The Handmaid's Tale, the Berlin timeline adopts a very tactile filming style and direction that allows us to empathise with a point of view that has become more appreciative for what they've been denied: where desire cannot be stated frankly, where the language to invite affection is alien and bodies are beautiful and mysterious. This episode shows this reclamation of sexuality juxtaposed with the reveal of the moment Esty decides to pursue her freedom at all. With very few words at all, having withheld her thoughts from the blinded Yanky, she stands alone in a corridor and we know exactly what she is thinking. The catalyst for Esty running away is not the sexual imprisonment, the absolute lack of connection or personability with anyone around her nor the restrictions put upon her pursuing her passions but Yanky's demand for a divorce. It symbolises a multifaceted betrayal of her faith, her body, her dignity and, ultimately, every sacrifice she made for them. This triggers a single disillusionment that makes Esty's story possible: that this is no place for her child to grow up. This profound moment rests upon an incredibly moving performance and a script brimming full of understated depth.

The show should also be praised for some of its peripheral characters. Yanky is not a typical brute but a devout, vulnerable and lost little boy. Esty's aunt is as much an Orthodox woman as she is a fighter for her family's dignity. Moshe is no two dimensional villain but a man who played his hand at life beyond the walls of the community and lost. However the character most deserved of praise is that of Yael, an Israeli born music student at the conservatory Esty auditions for. She, as an Israeli-born Jew, takes Esty's experiences for granted, diminishes her community's felt Holocaust guilt, laments to her non-Jewish friends with uncaring abandon the terrifying reality of Esty's own life and calls her a baby machine. She represents a subtle nuance never before explored on television: that the wider Jewish community, for thinking they know about people like Esty and for wanting to distance themselves from being identified with that kind of Judaism, can actually be their most harsh and inconsiderate critics.

One character that could have done with more development is that of Esty's mother. Though portrayed to perfection, balancing a calm earnestness with a hidden maternal strength, there is not enough time to open her life up in the way it could have been. Queerness is visible in the show. There are two out gay couples, including one that Esty's mother is a part of. It feels strange that there is no articulation in either timeline of the homophobia that must have driven Esty's mother from the community but also the opinions that would be residual in Esty, having never been exposed to gay people in her life. Whilst the deftness with which some issues are taken as they are is admirable, this seems like a topic that would have invited a conversation between mother and daughter or, at the very least, Esty and anyone in her group of friends.

Regardless of any shortcomings, Unorthodox is a series that will stick with you for a long time. It offers a unique perspective of the modern world from the point of view of someone who has been locked away from it. Partly a modern-day fairy tale where modern life becomes a wonderland and partly the harrowing struggle of an outsider to find freedom. The series cements the success of its story with the ambiguity of its ending. We don't know how Esty will deal with motherhood, whether she will get her scholarship, how she will react to her grandmother's death, how she will fight against the community's attempts to intimidate her out of her child's life. The viewer and Esty have discovered the world together. She has friends and her mother on her side. We've seen her grow into a fighter and recognise, alone in a cafe with a quiet smile, that no price is too high for her freedom.

[hersheyotaku]

Cloaked Feelings

Fandom: Tangled Characters: Varian, Ruddiger, Rapunzel Pairings: One-sided Varipunzel, heavily implied New Dream Tags: post series, before wedding, minor fluff, minor angst, unrequited love, pining, Varian being a dork, also starring Eugene’s face

Summary: Stumbling across the shapeshifting cloak was a complete accident. But with a bright and inquisitive mind like his, Varian can’t help but want to study it. However, a case of mistaken identity soon forces him to choose between doing what’s right…or falling further into a tangled web of deception and selfish impulses.

Read on Ao3 here

“Ruddiger!” Varian called in exasperation. “Get out of there! You can eat your apples after we finish sorting through this stuff.”

With a grumbling chitter, the pudgy raccoon abandoned the bucket of apples he’d been rooting through and ambled over to where Varian was sitting cross-legged on the floor. The young alchemist gave his friend a quick scratch behind the ear before nodding his head at a nearby basket, and the raccoon dutifully clambered up the side and disappeared over the rim.

Satisfied that Ruddiger was doing his part, Varian went back to rifling through his own box, which was filled with an assortment of unclaimed goods that had been salvaged from the wreckage of Corona a few months back.

Rapunzel had told him that since no one had come forward to claim any of the items, he was free to sift through and see if there was anything he could use for his experiments. He may be a fully-funded royal engineer now, but he still had personal projects that he liked to work on.

Besides, he enjoyed the thrill of the hunt! Back in Old Corona, he and Ruddiger had spent many days together digging through scrap piles for hidden treasures, though Ruddiger was usually more interested in gobbling down the remains of someone’s half-eaten sandwich than extracting metal bedsprings from a mattress to be melted down later.

Lance had helped him haul half a dozen boxes and baskets full of odds and ends down to his lab in the basement of the castle, but he’d paid the price for the help by spending the next half-hour cleaning up the minor explosion the larger man had caused during the five minutes he’d spent in the lab, touching everything Varian told him not to. Once the exasperated alchemist had contained the globulous purple fire and sent Lance on his way, he had finally been able to start sorting his haul.

Varian had just dropped a dented pocket watch into his pile of useful objects when he heard a hissing sound from Ruddiger’s basket. Brow furrowed, he stood and leaned forward to peer inside.

An orange tabby cat lunged out at him, and Varian let out a startled yelp. “Gah! What the—?!” He ducked his head as the strange cat clawed its way up his vest and curled around his shoulders. Where had it come from?! And where was Ruddiger? Grabbing the edge of the basket, he tipped it towards him, searching for his friend.

“Ruddiger?” he asked, then winced when the cat yowled right into his ear. He reached up to grab it, but instead of fur he got a fistful of fabric. Baffled, he pulled at the material, and in a shower of sparkling light a dark piece of cloth slid off of the cat and revealed Ruddiger instead.

They stared at each for a moment, then both of their gazes darted down to the cloth hanging from the alchemist’s hand. What…had just happened?

—

To Varian’s utter astonishment, he discovered that the large piece of cloth was actually a cloak. A hooded cloak with a chameleon-shaped brooch that could change a person’s physical features and was apparently controlled by neural oscillation or…something close to it. Essentially—as he’d had to explain to Ruddiger when the raccoon had tilted his furry head in confusion—you think of the person you want to look like, and boom! Instant change! And just as astounding, the cloak itself shifted into whatever outfit the wearer willed it to, making it the perfect disguise!

Remarkably, the cloak wasn’t simply bending light to create an illusion; it changed the physiological structure of whoever was wearing it. While experimenting, Varian had shifted to look like Quirin, and his head had collided with a high shelf that normally wouldn’t have posed a risk. Aside from the forming bump on his forehead, it was an exciting discovery!

He’d also found that the cloak only functioned correctly if the brooch was attached. Separated, the two items lost their transformative properties, and even when Varian tried attaching the brooch to other materials, it never yielded any results. But if he could find a way to replicate the materials, the scientific possibilities could be endless!

To that end, he’d laid the cloak out on a workbench that he’d hastily cleared of beakers and books. One corner of the fabric lay under the lens of a microscope, while the chameleon brooch floated in a beaker of chemical solution that Varian planned to test to see what properties it contained. He also had a few stray pieces of thread from the cloak floating in their own solution. He was going to find out exactly what these things were made of!

Plucking the brooch from the solution with a pair of sterilized tweezers, he carefully cleaned it before reattaching it to the cloak. Then he took the two chemical compounds and poured them into labelled test tubes. Since the day he’d tried to test Rapunzel’s hair, he’d improved on the process and come up with an alternate method in the form of a chemical solution that could analyze the composition and properties of whatever he soaked in it.

Once he’d placed the test tubes into the chamber of a small centrifuge machine of his own design and set it to run, the teen alchemist placed his hands on his hips and took a step back, letting out a satisfied huff. That should do it!

But it would be a few hours until the results were ready, so now he had some time to kill.

Glancing around his lab, his eyes landed on his bookmarked copy of Flynn Rider and the Cursed Isle of Sairaag. He grinned. He knew just how to pass the time.

—

“Ha! You think a few scurvy pirates can stop the great Flynn Rider?” Varian goaded his invisible foe, brandishing his prototype electromagnetic sword. Wearing the face of one Eugene Fitzherbert, he swiped at the rubber ball that came flying towards him, envisioning it as a savage pirate charging him at the command of the Dread Pirate Ruby-Eyed Rick.

While Eugene might not be the Flynn Rider from The Tales of Flynnigan Rider, his was still the face Varian associated with his favorite fictional character. And with the help of one totally non-magical cloak, he now had the chance to be his childhood hero!

“Is that the best you’ve got, you flea-bitten rapscallion?” he taunted, hopping from one foot to the other in anticipation of the next round.

Dropping the ball he’d been about to load into the Varian’s homemade launching machine, Ruddiger gave an indignant chitter and planted his paws on his sides.

“No, Ruddiger—I know you don’t actually have fleas,” Varian reassured his friend with a touch of exasperation. “It’s just a line from the book!”

Ruddiger didn’t seem entirely convinced, but nonetheless, he picked up the ball and dropped it into the machine.

“Ha-ha!” Varian crowed triumphantly as he cut through the projectile. “Give it up, Ruby Eye! Your two-bit lackeys are no match for—”

He froze at the sound of the door creaking open. Shoot, he hadn’t been expecting anyone!

“Hey Varian, have you seen—oh there you are, Eugene!” Rapunzel stepped into the lab, a wide grin on her freckled features.

“O-oh, no, I’m not—” Varian stammered, his cheeks flushing at being caught in what was essentially an elaborate game of make-believe. Why did he have to give in to his childish impulses without locking the door first? And why did it have to be Rapunzel of all people to catch him?

But apparently Rapunzel had drawn a completely different conclusion, and she let out a light laugh as she approached him. “Were you playing with Varian’s inventions again?” She took the sword from his hand and placed it on the nearest table. “You know how he feels about people touching his stuff. Remember how you crashed his Flynnoleum-powered cart into the city fountain?”

Wait, that had been Eugene?! Varian knew he hadn’t forgotten to set the emergency brake when he’d—

The alchemist was jolted from his thoughts when Rapunzel gave his nose a light tap. “Don’t worry!” she told him, before leaning in close and whispering conspiratorially, “I don’t think Varian has it out for you the same way he does for Lance.”

With Rapunzel so close, her large emerald eyes and cute freckled nose mere inches from his own, Varian was finding it extremely hard to articulate any of the thoughts tumbling around in his head, and that gave the princess time to move on to the very reason she’d come looking for Eugene.

“Now, who’s ready for our date~?” she practically sang, bouncing on her heels.

“Date?” Varian echoed, before realization dawned on him and he held up his hands in alarm. “Rapunzel, I’m not—”

“Oh very funny, Eugene,” Rapunzel smirked. Then her fingers curled into the material of his shirt to pull him down—a foreign feeling for the normally short-statured teen—and she pressed a kiss to his mouth.

Time ground to a complete standstill for Varian, his every sense zeroing in on the feeling of Rapunzel’s soft lips pressing against his own. She—she was kissing him!

Then her lips began to move against his, and Varian couldn’t help himself.

He kissed her back.

He had no idea how long the kiss lasted—it felt like an eternity and a split second all rolled into one—before Rapunzel pulled away with that shining smile of hers.

As Varian slowly came back to his senses, he realized that his arms had wound around the princess and pulled her into a tight embrace. But it was unlike any embrace they’d ever shared before. It was intimate, and Varian could feel a hot flush creeping up his back and neck as his heart pounded fiercely, keenly aware of the feel of Rapunzel’s body pressed against his.

He wasn’t given too much more time to think about it before Rapunzel expertly twirled out of his hold and grabbed his hand. “C’mon, let’s go! We don’t want to miss the sunset!”

Before Varian could ask ‘what sunset?’ he was being pulled towards the door.

Turning his head to look over his shoulder, he caught sight of Ruddiger watching from atop his workbench. ‘Help!’ he mouthed to the raccoon. Ruddiger tipped his head, seeming to consider the idea before giving him a toothy grin and curling his small raccoon hands into double thumbs up.

What…that little traitor! Varian didn’t even have time to glare at the raccoon before Rapunzel towed him down the hall, chatting excitedly about their date.

Now, Varian’s first instinct was to protest and tell her he wasn’t Eugene and that she was mistaken. But the fresh memory of what had just transpired between them kept his lips sealed as his pulse thundered in his burning ears.

He couldn’t let her know that he wasn’t Eugene now! What would she think if she found out she’d kissed him and…oh geez, he’d kissed her back! If he hadn’t been an idiot and gotten swept away in the moment he could probably play this all off as the huge misunderstanding it was.

But he had kissed her back and even wrapped his arms around her, which had just prolonged it. There was no explaining that away! She’d find out—she’d know how he…how he felt about her, and then what would happen? She was engaged! To Eugene! One of his best friends!

If Varian’s hands had been free he would have tangled them in his hair in frustration. What was he gonna do? The kiss had been wonderful, everything he’d ever imagined it could be, but he couldn’t let Rapunzel find out!

The best thing he could do now was escape before things got out of hand.

“Oh hey, um…s-sunshine?” The nickname tasted foreign on his tongue. He was so used to calling her Rapunzel or princess, but Eugene usually reserved the first for more serious occasions and never used the second. This was going to be tricky.

“Hm?” Rapunzel glanced back at him curiously.

“Uh, I forgot that I had a…a thing that I need to do. Y’know, captain of the guard stuff and…uh…” Varian trailed off as Rapunzel’s face fell, his chest constricting uncomfortably.

“Oh…does that mean we have to cancel our date?” Her large green eyes stared into his sadly, and suddenly Varian felt very small, despite his magically-enhanced height. Well…it wasn’t like one little date would hurt anything. It would make Rapunzel happy and—if he was honest—the idea of actually going on a date with her was pretty thrilling.

“No,” he finally said, giving her a lop-sided grin. “It can wait.”

The beaming smile that lit Rapunzel’s face effectively washed away all of Varian’s doubts about his decision, and he willingly allowed himself to be whisked down the hall.

—

Varian glanced around the docks uneasily, his doubts resurfacing now that they were actually here. Eugene had apparently made arrangements for a romantic sunset boat ride, which made the teen alchemist wonder where the real Eugene was. Shouldn’t he be here if he was the one who set up this date?

Rapunzel hopped down into the boat and held out an inviting hand. “Ready?” she asked, her smile drawing Varian in like a moth to a flame.

Well, the fact of the matter was that Eugene wasn’t here. And someone had to take Rapunzel on this date! “You bet!” he said, taking her hand and joining her. She untied the mooring rope while he grabbed the oars, and soon they were headed out towards the open water.

They found a spot where Rapunzel insisted they would have the absolute best view of the sunset. Already the darkening sky was turning a dusky pink, and Varian had to admit that it was probably going to be a spectacular view when the sun dipped below the horizon.

But until that happened…he had no clue what he was supposed to do. What were they going to talk about? What did she and Eugene talk about when they were alone like this?

Fortunately for him Rapunzel was a take-charge kind of girl, and she was all too happy to snuggle right up into his side, resting her head on his shoulder. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she sighed, gazing up at the pink and purple streaks coloring the sky.

A response popped into Varian’s head and, emboldened by his concealed identity, he decided to voice it.

“Not as beautiful as you.” Then he held his breath, not knowing how she would respond. Was that too cheesy? Too forward? Too out of character?

Rapunzel pulled away from his shoulder, and Varian felt his heart jump into his throat. He’d messed up, he’d definitely messed up! Slowly turning his head, he was shocked to see Rapunzel looking at him with a soft smile, her cheeks lightly tinted pink. “Aw, that is so sweet!” she cooed, and this time Varian’s heart skipped a beat for an entirely different reason.

With his confidence boosted and nerves soothed by Rapunzel’s positive response, Varian committed himself to the task of enjoying his time with the bubbly princess.

Amidst amiable chatter, he gave her compliments, enjoying how she’d flush with happiness. He took her hands and softly rubbed his thumb over her knuckles, brushed her hair back from her face, gently pressed his forehead to hers. No matter how small, each touch was absolutely electrifying to him, charged with an emotion that Varian could only describe as…well, love.

This was a side of Rapunzel that only Eugene got to experience, and while it wasn’t like the couple hid their affection in front of others, there was just something about being the direct recipient of Rapunzel’s coy looks—how she would bite her bottom lip while looking at him from beneath her thick eyelashes—that stole his breath and made his stomach do somersaults.

He relished each small romantic gesture—both given and taken—that he’d otherwise never dare to indulge in, and committed each and every one to memory. 

This was both the best and worst idea he’d ever had.

Then Rapunzel leaned in, her eyes slipping closed, and Varian’s heart beat a million miles a minute. It was happening! She was going to kiss him again!

Varian was no stranger to physical affection from Rapunzel. She was the type to give out hugs like candy, and she had no qualms about holding hands with Varian or even snuggling up to him if they were sitting next to each other. But it was always platonic in nature, and while Varian enjoyed it, he hadn’t realized how different those innocent gestures of affection were compared to what Rapunzel shared with Eugene. Even if it was the exact same physical action, it was the emotion and intent behind it that made it special.

And none of it was truly intended for him.

Then her lips were on his, and Varian allowed himself to forget that crucial little detail and be swept away. One hand tangled itself in her hair while the other settled at the small of her back, pulling her closer. He could feel the light pressure of her hand on his chest, and the sensation of her thumb brushing along his jaw sent a delightful jolt up his spine. 

By the time Rapunzel pulled back, Varian’s head was buzzing pleasantly and he felt lighter than air, like he could just float away on the slightest breeze.

“Th-that was great, thanks…” he mumbled dazedly, a goofy grin on his face.

Rapunzel giggled at his dazed expression. Then she tipped her head to the side, studying him. “Y’know, you’ve been acting a bit funny, Eugene. Is something wrong?”

Panic sliced through Varian’s euphoria, and he quickly shook his head. “N-no! Of course not! Why would—why would something be wrong? Nope, ev-everything’s cool, we’re cool!” Chuckling nervously, he made to lean on the side of the boat, but his elbow missed and he nearly tumbled into the water.

“Woah!” Rapunzel exclaimed, grabbing his wrist and yanking him back before he could fall overboard. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Should we head back?”

Varian took a second to calm his rapidly beating heart, which felt like it was about to pound his ribs to dust. “I-I guess maybe that would be a good idea,” he conceded reluctantly, almost shakily. As much as he was enjoying spending time out here with Rapunzel like this, on an actual date, he was also painfully aware of what a charade it was. And the longer it continued, the more likely he’d be found out.

Taking both of his hands in hers, Rapunzel locked eyes with him, gazing at him so intently that Varian’s previous attempt to calm his heart became an effort in futility. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

Completely entranced by her soft tone and those vivid green eyes filled with understanding and concern, Varian’s mouth automatically opened to confide in her. But at the last second he caught himself and snapped it shut.

He loved her. He’d loved her since the day she’d offered him forgiveness and the chance of redemption, from the moment she’d refused to let him kill himself to clean up the mess he’d made. But he couldn’t tell her that, and he couldn’t tell her that he’d selfishly taken advantage of her to see how it would feel if…if she returned his feelings.

But it was a pale imitation. She thought she was with Eugene, not him.

Taking a deep breath through his nose, Varian gave her a weak smile. This was something he couldn’t share even with her.

So instead, he told her, “I think I might’ve had some…bad fish for lunch. Didn’t um…taste right, y’know?”

Sighing, he lifted his hand and cupped her cheek. Maybe it was wrong, and she certainly wouldn’t know the true meaning behind his words, but this might be the only opportunity he had to tell her without potentially ruining their friendship.

“I love you, Rapunzel,” he told her gently, combing his fingers through her soft brown hair reverently.

Rapunzel’s eyes lit with a warmth that made Varian’s heart ache, and she reached up to rest her hand on his cheek in turn. “And I love you, Eugene.”

It felt like she’d slapped him. Even with her tender touch, and even when she leaned in and pressed her mouth to his once more, Varian felt the sharp ache of Eugene’s name on her lips. He hadn’t even been expecting anything, he’d just wanted to finally tell her, but…it was too much.

The feeling of something warm and wet sliding down his cheek made Varian’s eyes snap open. To his horror, he realized that his vision was swimming. No, he couldn’t cry, Eugene wouldn’t cry!

Breaking the kiss, he was thankful that Rapunzel’s eyes were closed as he swiped his sleeve across his face. What was he doing, he’d known all along that he had no place with Rapunzel. Not like Eugene did.

“Eugene?” she asked, utterly confused when she opened her eyes to the sight of her fiancé vehemently swiping at his eyes with his sleeve.

“All-allergies” was his weak excuse. Leaning down, he picked up the oars and attempted a reassuring smile. “Let’s head back, we can…we can do this again some other time. When there’s less…pollen.”

A lie. She would do this again with Eugene, but not him.

Varian could tell that Rapunzel suspected something was off, judging by the concerned looks she kept shooting him as he rowed them back to shore. So he did his best to buck up and make light small talk, for her sake. He didn’t want her to worry…or to question Eugene about it later.

That thought sent a jolt of horrified realization down his spine. Eugene. There was no way Rapunzel wouldn’t mention the date to him later, probably to ask what he’d been hiding from her. Stupid stupid stupid! They were going to find out!

It took a lot of effort to not let his panic show as he helped Rapunzel out of the boat, a wide smile plastered onto his face that probably looked a bit manic, if Rapunzel’s raised brow was any indication. “Eugene…maybe you should go see a doctor?”

“No!” Varian exclaimed hastily, before clearing his throat. “It’s just that I uh…I need to…need to go.” He stood there for a brief moment, his overly wide smile still in place. Then he ducked away and booked it down the street.

“Wha—Eugene!” Rapunzel exclaimed in surprise, reaching after him. “Where are you going?!”

Somewhere he could take off this stupid cloak and try to figure out a way to salvage this whole situation! But Varian thought back to his ‘bad fish’ excuse and decided to roll with that. “Bathroom!” he shouted back.

As he disappeared around the corner of a building, Rapunzel’s hand slowly lowered. Well that was…weird.

—

Back in the relative safety of his lab, Varian took a moment to lean against the door and catch his breath. Initially he’d wanted nothing more than to rip off the cloak as soon as he was out of Rapunzel’s sight, but had thought better of it. He couldn’t risk someone seeing him go into a building as Eugene and come out as himself, especially while carrying such an incriminating piece of evidence.

So instead, the citizens of Corona got to witness their illustrious captain of the guard tearing through the streets like his tail was on fire. Which…really wasn’t all that rare of an occurrence, but still.

Varian grabbed the cloth at his shoulder and pulled the cloak off, his body returning to normal in a sparkling flash of light. With a heaving sigh, he ran his fingers through his bangs. He had a lot to think about.

Dragging the cloak with him, he sat down at his desk and let his head fall on top of the scattered blueprints and schematics with a thunk.

On the one hand, he’d never imagined he’d get the chance to be with Rapunzel like that, and it had been amazing. But any joy he might derive from the memory was tainted by his gnawing guilt at the false pretense those stolen moments had been under. And he still had to figure out what he was going to do when Rapunzel inevitably talked to Eugene…

A knock at the door nearly made Varian jump out of his skin, and he frantically stuffed the cloak under his desk, kicking it against the wall and nearly tripping as he scrambled from his seat. He’d locked the door this time, but it’d be suspicious if it took him too long to answer it.

“C-coming!” he called, heart pounding as he undid the lock and cracked open the door.

A cold sweat broke out on the back of Varian’s neck when he saw who it was.

“Rapunzel?” he squeaked, before clearing his throat and opening the door fully. “I mean uh, h-hi!”

“Hi Varian!” she grinned, then tilted her head as she took in his frazzled appearance. “Are you…busy?”

“Busy…um, no!” Varian stepped back and gestured for her to come inside, making a valiant effort to keep his hand from shaking as she moved past him. “What—” He paused, wetting his suddenly dry lips as he struggled to maintain eye contact. “What brings you here?”

“Well, I wanted to ask you something.” The princess twirled a strand of brunette hair in front of her ear while Varian held his breath, dreading her next words. “Earlier, I went on a date with Eugene and…he was acting kind of funny.”

Varian’s mouth went completely dry. She knew. 

“But,” Rapunzel continued, clearly not reading into Varian’s wide-eyed expression. “it turns out he was  just having indigestion from eating some bad fish for lunch.”

Varian’s fight or flight instinct had been about to kick into overdrive, but just like that it vanished, leaving him somewhat numb as he tried to comprehend this turn of events. “…what?”

“Yeah, I think he came here earlier to see if you could help him, but you weren’t around and I might have dragged him off before he could get something to fix it,” Rapunzel explained sheepishly. “So I was wondering…do you have anything that could help with an upset stomach?”

Varian blinked. “Upset stomach?” he echoed. That’s why she was here? Not to force him to give her an explanation for his actions, or chew him out for tricking her, or kick him out of the castle? “Uh I…don’t really do much with medicine, though I could probably whip something up if you need me to.”

It’d have to be something with no potency whatsoever, since he doubted Eugene—wherever he was—had actually had bad fish for lunch.

Rapunzel’s smile was dazzling. “Oh, thank you, Varian!” she said, grabbing his hand and giving it a quick squeeze that made the young alchemist’s heart flutter. Then she was out the door, giving him a lighthearted wave. “I’ll be back once I find where Eugene went!” And she was gone.

Varian slowly let out the breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding as he closed the door behind her. He meandered over to the cabinet where he kept his alchemical supplies, absentmindedly plucking a few colorful vials before moving to his workbench.

So he hadn’t been found out. And really, if nobody knew he had the cloak, they couldn’t possibly pin him as the fake Eugene, even if Eugene and Rapunzel did talk. But the thought of Rapunzel worrying about who the stranger in the boat had been, touching her, kissing her—Varian didn’t want to imagine the distress that would cause her.

…should he come clean? Before Eugene could confirm that he hadn’t been the one in the boat with Rapunzel?

The very idea made Varian’s gut twist into an anxious knot. Telling Rapunzel would keep her from worrying about being molested by a stranger, but would she forgive him? Be able to trust him again? Understand why, in his prolonged moment of weakness, he’d done it?

Well. She’d been able to forgive Cassandra but…somehow that felt different. Cassandra hadn’t tricked Rapunzel into kissing her. And he hadn’t had an ancient demon manipulating him.

The sound of squeaking door hinges jerked Varian from his spiraling thoughts, and he whirled around. Then he let out a sigh of relief when he saw it was just Ruddiger coming through the special door flap he’d installed for him. “Oh, it’s just you,” he breathed. Then he noticed the raccoon had something in his mouth, and he kneeled down to get a better look. Was that…an empty vial?

Ruddiger deposited the vial into his waiting hand, and Varian’s breath caught as he read the label.

Quirinian 2.0

Ironically, in his attempt to help Rapunzel’s parents regain their memories, he’d actually managed to create a weaker version of what the Quirinian was originally supposed to be: a memory-erase serum. The effects of the serum caused whoever drank it to forget everything they’d experienced in the last 24 hours. But since it didn’t help people regain their memories, and the king and queen had managed to remember their lives without his help anyway, he’d shelved the serum and moved on to other projects.

His eyes darted back to Ruddiger. “Did you…” He swallowed weakly, afraid of the answer. “Did you give this t-to Eugene?”

Ruddiger nodded, looking immensely pleased with himself.

Varian’s heart dropped. So this was why Eugene hadn’t shown up? Because he’d forgotten about the date altogether? Varian had no idea how recently they’d made their plans, but apparently it had been fairly impromptu, probably something they’d decided last night or this morning.

Oh no. Ruddiger must have interpreted his plea for help when Rapunzel had taken him from the lab as asking for help with the date, not getting out of it! No no no, he hadn’t wanted this!

“Ruddiger…no,” Varian said, his voice cracking as he clutched at his hair with both hands. “No, you went too far! I—” Slowly, his hands fell to his lap. “No…I went too far,” he admitted miserably.

Dimly, he was aware of Ruddiger’s concerned chitter, how his friend patted his leg in a gesture of comfort. But that left Varian to wonder just why he was so upset. Was it because he’d tricked Rapunzel? Broken her trust so he could live out a fantasy for a few hours? Indirectly drugged Eugene? Or was it because…

He swallowed thickly. Because he knew that he’d never experience that sort of happiness, that sort of thrill, with Rapunzel again?

Varian’s eyes darted to the cloak, and he chewed his lip, torn. There was a chance, just a small one, that he could experience that happiness again. But it wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be fair. To Rapunzel, to Eugene, to himself.

All he had to do was get rid of it and no one would ever know. Rapunzel might even blame the bad fish thing for Eugene’s memory. But…

Shaking his head, Varian tore his eyes away from the shimmering fabric. He shouldn’t even be tempted to use it again. He should just move on, cherish the memory of his short time with Rapunzel, let everything go back to the way it was.

But there was a dark, desperate part of himself that wanted to experience being with Rapunzel again, regardless of the cost...and it scared him. If he kept the cloak, the temptation would be too great.

He couldn’t let that happen. He’d made enough mistakes in his life—he had to get rid of the cloak before he made any more.

Resolve hardened, but afraid it wouldn’t last, Varian moved to where the cloak lay crumpled on the ground and snatched it up. “C’mon Ruddiger, let’s get rid of this thing.”

With a chitter of agreement, Ruddiger climbed to his shoulders and the alchemist strode from his lab to dispose of the magical cloak.

Not a moment after the door shut behind them, a high-pitched ‘ding’ echoed through the lab as the centrifuge machine came to a stop, and the spectrometric press hooked to it printed out two sheets of data.

The test results were ready.

[louadorable126]

Demons(you).me: Chapter 9 - Schrödinger's Eva

Artwork Commissioned from Aya/Itouyas on twitter! Please check her out! <3

>>Click here to read on Ao3!<<

Summary:

In a city controlled by the generally altered race of Demons, Lady’s life as a mercenary on the lower floor was never easy. Especially when she ran into Dante. A demon on the hunt for his missing brother.

———–

Fandom: Devil May Cry

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Characters: Vergil, Lady, Dante

———–

Chapter 9:

At the loud clunk of a bottle rolling out the bottom of a vending machine, Dante mindlessly squatted down and reached a hand under the dark flap.

The glass was ice cold to the touch beneath his fingertips; wet too - dripping with water droplets that uncomfortably ran down his hand. Water condensing under the warmth of his flesh. Just what he needed right now. A good kick to the senses.

God, he felt so numb.

The walk here had done little too soothe him. No, it had just given him more time to think, when he just wanted to do the exact opposite. It had been a constant battle of trying to keep his mind empty, free of any stray thought, while also trying not to get run over by cars. Something that turned out to be pretty damn hard!

Dante pushed himself back up off the ground, using the colourful vending machine as a support. He didn’t even attempt to find a bottle opener. Instead opting to just rip the mettle topper off with his bare hands. Bottle plugged to his mouth in his next breath and letting the freezing liquid pour into his system. He couldn’t bring himself to stop. It kept coming; as he chugged, chugged and chugged, until his body could take no more - practically on the verge of asphyxiation when his lips finally left the bottle.

“Fuck, that was good!” He coughed out, voice raspy. Falling back against the vending machine with a thump. The young man allowed himself a few moments to breath, before glancing back at the bottle. He’d managed to down at least 3/4’s of the bottle in one foul swoop. He had to smile a little at that, a new record for him. Might as well finish you off then, shouldn’t I?

And so he did. This time thankfully not almost suffocating himself.

Done with the bottle, he dumped into into a nearby, green ringed recycling hole beside the machine. Lighting up happily when he did so, as he moved to order another beer from the vending machine’s display.

"Attention all travellers! Due to a on-going police incident, all trains from 11pm onwards have been cancelled, as this floor will be placed under immediate lockdown for the foreseeable future. It is advised travellers either find suitable residence for the night, or board any of the remaining trains currently platformed. Thank you for your patience. Glory be to our Emperor!”

The peppy tannoy announcement quickly faded away, soon replaced by the starting of a tacky hip-hop beat in its place leaking out of the small rooms speakers. Dante sighed and shook his head at the announcement. Walking over to a small steel counter and bar stool by the large glass window, new bottle in hand.

It made sense they’d be closing off the area. Although Dante hadn’t exactly counted on them being so quick about it. The police were far less efficient than his people were at dealing with stuff. Although, murdering a bunch of people right next to some of the wealthiest of humans in the city, probably send a rocket up the arse of much the bureaucracy that normally held them back.

Must’ve been quiet the pandemonium back at the party . All those corporate folks clutching their pearls and fainting... W hat I would have given to seen that! Dante chuckled to himself at the thought. Taking another swing of his beer. Guess those poor guys down there will work for now.

Blue eyes focused down on the hectic platform bellow. The last stragglers of the floor’s night-life battled each-other over the nearby ticket hurdles in a mad crush. Although there was a particularly amusing group of what looked to be a dozen bachelors, bent over backwards forming a makeshift stairwell over the tall barrier for their groom to walk up. It obviously failed of course. The guy lost his balance and ended up going crashing to the ground on top of his friends, but they all seemed to be having a laugh at least.

The platform itself was no better. People sprinted down towards the trains like they were getting onto the last life-boats of the titanic. Cramming tight into the trains like fish in sardine cans. Clearly he wasn’t going to be sitting on the way back it seemed. Great.

For what should have felt like a clean victory tonight, really was starting to feel like the complete opposite. Yeah, their big family secret was now as good as dead and buried now (if Augustus was holding up his end of the bargain), and they could return back home finally. But, what would even be awaiting them there now when this adventure was over? Lady sure wouldn’t. She’d be stuck back down here. Where they could only - what? Visit her whenever they were given a new assignment? Ugh, Dante wasn’t even starting to miss them. How much pleasure had he gotten from being able to do his own thing down here? It was amazing feeling, not having every mission strictly chosen for him by mother dispatch’s hand-

Don’t think about that! A voice snapped in the back of his mind like a metal slap. His body jolted in sharp response, as the alabaster hand around his glass tightened. Just don’t.

Dante took a shaky sip of his icy drink. Squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he attempted to purge his mind of the thought once more.

But the beer did little to help, its chill expertly focusing his mind onto that exact topic, onto her alone.

What was Trish? Please stop . Clearly not Eva in terms personality that’s for sure. They couldn’t be more different. There… there just wasn’t the same flame there that Eva had always had. That’s the best way Dante could think to describe it. Eva always felt warm in a homey way, while Trish felt like the violent tinders setting the whole place alight. Stop It!  

Granted, he couldn’t lie that he didn’t find that quality rather admirable. But the uncanny valley was just far too strong for his own liking. Heh, maybe that’s the same feeling people get when they meet him and Verge for the first time. Two people who look completely alike, but are so wildly different from one another it.  Fuck, maybe Trish is just a long lost twin of Eva’s who’d just happened to be converted into a demon at some point? Fucking absurd idea, he knew. But given how many recent revolutions about his family had come to light in the past few weeks. How much did he truly know about his family, anymore? For all he could know, twins really could just run in the family-

He was just kidding himself wasn’t he? Dante could already imagine Vergil disapproving remarks over how ridiculous such an insane idea was. And he knew damn well phantom Vergil wasn’t wrong. He knew the most likely answer. You’re going to regret this you idiot! Stop thinking now! He always had.

The only other thing Trish could most likely be was…

Eva herself.

Ground up and converted into one of his own kind.

There was no other obvious (and realistic) way why Trish would look so much like her. And in a twisted way, the idea just worked, from the moment it clicked in his mind! What would be a more fitting punishment for her and Sparda, for having half-human offspring like him and Vergil, than making Eva into a demon against her will?

A twisted, cruel smirk pulled at Dante’s lips. This was all his fault wasn’t it? He should’ve been there to protect her. He never should have gone looking for Vergil. He should’ve payed closer attention to him instead of brushing his strange behaviour off, stopped him before he went on his murder tour of the city’s databanks in the first place. He was such a awful brother and son to the both of them, wasn’t he?

"Attention travellers! 5 minutes remain until the last train departs!”

Despairing, Dante went to go take another sip from his bottle. Yet only a drop of the bitter drink landed on his tongue. He lifted the bottle up into the air, and lazily tipped it upside down. Squinting a little, gazing up into its small hole, only to depressingly find nothing there…

Maybe he was taking this self-deprecating train of thought too far though? There was nothing concrete about that conclusion. He was just going off yet another assumption wasn’t he?

For one, Trish didn’t have the trademark bleach white hair they all had. Heh, another blindingly obvious deduction there Detective Dante! He thought, a weak smirk just tugging at his lips. It...wasn’t a great case for Eva not being converted the more he thought about it though. She clearly had the tech of a demon, being able to summon those swords at will and all, and as Vergil had demonstrated tonight, she could’ve just dyed it blond. Perhaps it was a faint memory of Eva slipping through. But no, even that didn’t seem quite right...

He’d run into a few newly converted demons in his time, and while disoriented, they seemed to be able to completely recall their old lives with no trouble. Yet Trish had no memory of either of them - not even the basic motherly sixth sense that Eva always seemed to have, still lurking in there at all. So Eva's memory being wiped (did they even have that tech?) seemed out of the question. And what about the rucks that would’ve been caused upon the discovery that a human woman had been living on the upper floor for like what? 20 years under the demonic authorities noses? That would’ve been all over the news without question! Yet they hadn’t heard a peep of anything like that…

“Attention travellers! 2 minutes remain until the last train departs!"

So Eva could be safe, but she also be long gone. What a wonderful fucking paradox!

Dante rubbed a hand across his tired eyes, his fingertips glazing over the warm sweat covering his brow. He got up from the stool, nursing the empty beer bottle to his chest; somewhat amazed it wasn’t shattering beneath his firm hold. He really needed to get going. No matter how much the anxious twist of his gut, or dizzy, alcohol-fogged mind begged him to do anything but sit his ass back down.

Shakes racked his body, as he stumbled out of the small room and headed towards the escalator back down.

“Attention travellers! The last train will be departing in 1 minute!"

———–

Click here to read more!

[malereader-inserts]

Non Omis Moriar [2]

Fandom: Avengers Pairing: Tony Stark & Son!Reader Summary: Not all of you shall die, so it’s all or none.  Word Count: 3,762 A/n: ANGST ANGST, I hope this makes sense plot line. Also, I apologise for like basically writing the plot out again, you get the gist. Part one here!

“That’s not how time travel works,” You responded dryly.

Your eyes on your new suit as Scott tries to grab your attention, but you give him no consideration. He sighs as he watches you rewire your suit, stats on the screen for you. 

“In Layman's terms, it means you're not coming home,” You continued as you sighed, put your tools down and looked at Scott.

“I did.”

“No, you accidentally survived. It's a billion to one cosmic fluke,” You responded, sighing, “Look, Scott, as much as I want to believe, this whole time heist is laughable, it’s a pipedream.”

“You have to be optimistic, (Y/n).”

You looked behind Scott and see Bruce, glowering over the two of you at the Avengers base, specifically in your dad’s lab. Bruce smiles at you as you shake your head, scoffing.

“Bruce, I’m not the one to preach about optimism, that’s Steve’s sort of rodeo but what have you been doing for the past year? You’ve lost to Thanos both times in both forms - look at you.”

“But, I’m willing to do something if it means we can save people, I know it’s not you or your thing to save people, but we’re the only people left. Remember what Natasha always says?”

“Whatever it takes.” Sighing, you shake your head, “I can’t, Bruce, I’m sorry.”

Bruce nods, leaving as Scott sends you one last look but as he watches you play with the screens of the stats of your suit - he leaves you be. A year had passed since the snap and all you’ve been doing is fixing Avengers’ equipment, updating the little things as you don’t have their suit. 

Isolating yourself.

You made your own suit, the one you and your dad made was hard for you to work on because you made it with your dad. It’s didn’t feel right for you to work on something you and your dad made.

Within the year, you’ve been taking medication for sleep too. Nightmares of the time on Titans kept you all night and when you’re sleep deprived the voice and vision of your dad appears. No matter how much you want to see your dad, you were not going insane.

Within the year, the bond between you and Bruce had become strained, you don’t call him uncle anymore, not out of malice, but a family doesn’t seem complete anymore in your heart. 

“I’m blaming Strange,” You muttered to yourself.

“Sir, you’re talking to yourself again.”

“It’s okay, Fri,” You reassured, smiling to yourself.

Friday has been ultra protective you, she may be an AI but in a sense, she was like your sister as Tony created her. Protecting her big brother from losing himself. Friday lost Tony, Pepper, Rhodey. She was not going to lose you in any circumstances. 

“Hey, Fri?”

“Yes?”

“New project,” You called out as you watched Bruce and Scott figure something out across the building.

Glass walls work wonders, you move your suit to the side and Friday brings up a new slate of holograms for you to mess around. 

“Hey, kid,” You hear your dad’s voice next to you, you could sense him probably leaning against the table to examine what you’re up to, “What are you doing?”

“Sir, what is this new project?”

You looked off to the distance as you smile to yourself, a mirror across the way. You looked at yourself and the hallucination of your dad next to you, you look too much alike. Same snarky smile of pure happiness and a confident stance.

“Thanos knows Stark men, he invaded my dreams since I was a child and corrupted my dad’s mind, if Strange says I’m needed then I’ll damn well avenge my father.”

“Hey,”

You jumped at the sudden voice of your dad in your ear, rubbing your eyes out of sleep as you realised that you’ve been sleeping in the lab,

“What day is it?”

“You’ve been passed out for two days sir, you fell asleep the moment you sat down, you haven’t even started your new project.”

“Way for a dramatic flair,” You commented as the AI buzzed in amusement, “What’s going on with shorty and Professor Green?”

“I believe they are ninety per cent in finishing what you have called time-heist.”

You nodded, “I’ll start it after I get food.”

When you had returned back to base Bruce and Scott was nowhere to find as you sat down and got to work. You didn’t know how long you were in the lab for as you reclined in the chair, groaning, your head hurts.

“By the looks of Scott and Bruce out there, Scott turned into a baby?”

Friday didn’t respond as she pulls up the video of Scott and Bruce wild attempt of time travel, as you chuckle as they were entertaining, you shake your head. your shoulders tensing. Getting back to work into the nightfall.

“Look at a mod inspiration, let me see what check out. So, recommend one last sim before we pack it in for the night. This time, in the shape of a Mobius strip, inverted, please. 

”Processing...”

Friday was processing as you wandered around the lab, kicking a soccer ball into the glass walls, you could hear your dad scowling at you for leaving ball prints on the clean glass.

“Give me that eigenvalue. That, particle factoring, and a spectral decomp. Gotta take a second.”

“Just a moment.”

“And don't worry if it doesn't pan out. I'm just kinda-” You were interrupted by Friday.

“Model rendered.”

In a complete shock of amazement, the render comes back as successful. You smacked the ball so hard into the glass that it bounced back into your face, but you didn’t care because you were too bewildered by this discovery.

“Holy fuckin’ shit,” You breathed, then laughing in joy, opening the door of the lab, “Bruce, Scott!”

They peaked out, seeing a stupid grin on your face, Bruce couldn’t help but smile. It’s been a while since you smiled like that, it’s been a while since you got excited over something.

“Call Nebs, we’re doing a time heist...”

“Aw hell yeah!” Scott celebrated.

Bruce looks over to you, watching smile to yourself, you glanced up and did a small nod to his way.

“I’ll make suits, it’ll be the four of us and we need a test run, Scott, you’re up for it?”

“Hell yeah, I am,”

“Okay, so the "how" works. Now we gotta figure out the when and the where.” Bruce speaks as he looks at the three remaining people of heroes.

“That’s easy,” Bruce looks at you with a raised eyebrow, “With all data collected throughout the almost ten years you guys have been Avengers, it has the location of most Infinity stones.”

You looked at the blank face of the green giant, you scoffed as Bruce shakes his head, “I’m confused.”

“Am I seriously the only one who reads the paperwork after your missions and I’m not even part of the team, man.”

“Well... You and your dad are very much alike,” Bruce offers weakly as you pulled a face.

“Anyway...”

As you started your rambling with Bruce trying to write everything down despite Friday recalling your words and putting on the hologram, two stones were talked about by Nebula, after a short silence of awkwardness as she mentions that her sister was murdered by their dad, Thanos. You, Nebula, Bruce and Scott examine the screens.

The holograms displaying the different location, the Soul and Power stones in space in 2014. the Reality stone in Asgard, 2013; and the Space, Mind, and Time stones in New York City 2012.

“Bruce, Scott, you two will go to New York City, Nebula and I will go to Asgard and space,” You initiated s they all nodded.

You never thought you would come to a point that you were a leader, in fact, you hated taking responsibility, you hated leading stuff and people looking up to you for direction - it was too much greatness upon your shoulders in your eyes.

“Don’t fuck it up,” You narrowed your eyes, “I mean it-”

“Yes, sir-” Scott says as you looked at him weirdly, “I mean, Mr Stark, er, no, (Y/n).”

As you suit up, you stare at the old suit that you built with your dad, packing it up into a compressed case and held it together on the transporter. Nebula and Scott give you funny looks but you decided to ignore it. 

“Alright, simple in and out mission,” you called out one last time, “Whatever it takes.”

“You know, to obtain the soul stone you have to sacrifice something, Nebula came back with you,” Bruce says as you looked at him annoyed as you tried to assemble a gauntlet.

“The suit, dad and I made together,” You responded, you shoulders deflating, “Technically, it’s last thing I have of him, not the lab, not his tools, not even Friday. Scrap metal of memories left of my dad. I have nothing left of him. I need my dad back, even if it’s the last thing I do.”

Bruce nods, “Carol hasn’t responded to your messages.”

“It’s fine, I’ve been updating her anyway,”

“You talk to her?”

“She’s a good listener,” You shrugged your shoulder, “Even if I’m talking to her through a hologram. Now, uncle Bruce, silence would be nice.”

Bruce opened his mouth before shutting it closed when you give him a pointed look, you cast your eyes towards the gauntlet again as you picked up the stones gently. With nervous precision, you manipulate the machine and carefully places all six stones into the gauntlet.

“Alright, the glove is ready, the question is who will wear it and bring everyone back?” Bring the iron man like gauntlet out to show to Scott and Bruce, “Where’s Nebula?”

“Toilet?”

“Androids can go to the toilet?” You asked Scott, tilting your head at the man who answered your question.

“It’s 2019 man, anything is possible.”

You gave it some consideration as you agreed as you looked at the two men, you placed the gauntlet down on the table to suit up for any accident, your new suit is something you’ve been working on a few months, full of your ideas and ideas that you found from your dad’s blueprints of your old suit. 

“I’ll do it,” Bruce calls out as Scott and you looked up at the half man half hulk, “But the radiation's mostly gamma,” He takes a good look at the gauntlet, “It's like...uh...I was made for this.”

You nod as you helped Bruce place the gauntlet on, watching the metal adjust to the size of his big hand. Scott and you took a few steps back as Bruce lets out a shaky breath.

“You remember... everyone Thanos snapped away a year ago and just bringing them back to now, today. Don't change anything from the last year.”

“Got it.”

“Hey, Friday, do me a favour and activate dad’s Protocol 8,” You called out as the facility goes down into lockdown.

You bring your mask down of your metal suit as you watch Scott do the same thing. Bruce starts to bring his thoughts into what he wants, electricity running through, Bruce was grunting in pain. You wince to see him in pain.

“Uncle Bruce?”

“I’m good!” Bruce managed to spit out, “I’m okay!”

Bruce screams, fighting through the intense pain coursing through his body courtesy of the gauntlet, and manages to snap his fingers. He faints and the gauntlet slides off his arm. You kick the gauntlet away as you and Scott looked over the giant.

“Brucie?” You asked, your mask coming down as you cooled down his burnt arm.

“Did I do it?”

Scott looks outside, it was brighter and birds were chirping, Bruce managed to open his eyes and see your smiling face.

“The grass is always greener on the other side,” You say as Scott laughs, looking relieved.

You looked over to Scott with a smile, hoping you’ve completed what you wanted to do, hoping you have your dad back as you looked back at Banner, a smile had fallen off his lips. Looking up the skyline and seeing the Sanctuary II up in the sky and a single missile heading towards the base blowing away Scott away. Then a continuous array of missiles destroys the base completely.

“Sir?”

You groaned at the voice of Friday, you get up to your feet and see Thanos sitting by. You breathed heavily, your suit covered in ash and dirt.

“Bruce, Scott?” You called out to your comm, it felt funny for you to be participating in hero action as you were not a hero yourself.

“We have the gauntlet,” Scott calls out, he sounds drowned out, “We’re underground but we can make it out.”

“Keep that damn thing away from Thanos,” You growled.

Your suit whirling, tightening. You breathed heavily, it all or nothing. You started to make your way down there, Thanos smirking as he recognised you when he has been invading your dreams as a little boy.

“You could not live with your own failure. And where did that bring you? Back to me. I thought by eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive. But you’ve shown me that’s impossible. And as long as there are those that remember what was, there will always be those that are unable to accept what can be. They will resist.”

You rolled your eyes at his monologue, “Yeah, we’re all types of stubborn.”

“I'm thankful. Because now, I know what I must do.” He stands up, “I will shred this universe down to its last atom. And then...With the stones you've collected for me, create a new one. Teeming with life, but knows not what it has lost but only what it has been given. A grateful universe.”

You put your mask up as he placed his helmet on, “As long as I’m alive, I’ll be damned.”

“I’ve admired you, (Y/n) Stark, from your pretty little dreams, I find a lot of interesting information about you. You are courageous, I commend you for that. But, unfortunately, as much I would love to keep you around, I can’t have you stand in the way.”

“Tough.”

You weren’t a skilled fighter, but you knew the basic of the Iron Man suits. You were able to hold him back off, and in fact, you were surprising yourself in how well you were fighting a Titan. 

Smacking you into debris as you stumble to stand up, using energy to blast Thanos before he gives you one last kick to the ground. Spitting blood into your suit as you pant, struggling to get onto your feet.

“In all my years of conquest...violence...slaughter... It was never personal. But I'll tell you now... what I'm about to do to your stubborn, annoying little planet... I'm gonna enjoy it. Very, very much.” 

Thanos’ entire army is summoned to the ground which includes the Children of Thanos, Chitauri, Outriders. Upon seeing the army descending on Earth, you straighten your back with a fierce determination, you allowed your suit to self-repair and stand against Thanos' giant army alone. Suddenly, a crackling comes in on his communicator.

AC/DC blaring in your ear.

“Hey, kid!”

You stopped, now is not the time to have a hallucination of your dad.

“Kid? You hear me? Sonny boy?” The playful tease of your dad called into your ear. “(Y/n), incoming!”

You pulled down your mask in confusion as you looked around, seeing a yellow portal open up at your left. Three members walk out with two flying above. The original team. Your dad landing on your right with Cap on your left. Natasha on Steve’s left whilst Thor stood on a rock behind you with Clint comes next to your dad.

Another portal opens up, three figures step through; Okoye, Shuri, and Black Panther, fully restored and ready to fight with Sam zooms in from above in his Falcon armour.

Dozens of more portals opening up all around the battlefield. Through one of these, we see Doctor Strange descend in. He is joined by Drax, Mantis, Star-Lord, and Spider-Man.

Everyone watches in confusion and awe as more and more heroes arrive from all corners of the universe, all backed up with forces of their own including Black Panther and his Wakandan army, Valkyrie and the Asgardians, Wong and the Masters of the Mystic Arts and several Ravager ships.

Amongst the throngs of heroes, we see Bucky, War Machine, Rocket, Groot, the Scarlet Witch, the Wasp, and Pepper Potts (clad in her own iron suit) arrive. Nearly every hero has magically been transported to the battlefield to face Thanos' hordes.

“Please, say I’m not hallucinating,” You muttered to yourself, but Tony puts a hand on your shoulder.

“You’re sane, (Y/n).”

You huffed out a burst of laughter, Tony smiles missing your smile and laughter, “Scott? Bruce?”

Giant-Man emerges from the rubble of the Avengers facility with Professor Hulk. The Avengers, Guardians, Wakandans, Asgardians, and Ravagers take up battle positions. The heroes standing across Thanos' forces.

“Your call, kid,” Steve says to you, patting your shoulder, he figured that you were taking lead.

You pulled your mask up, taking your stance as your side looking at the other side. Thanos makes a fist of fury, angry at the outcome. You saved people, you brought them back, you were not letting them go.

“Avengers Assemble!”

“That thing needs to go back where it belongs!” You shouted in the midst of the fighting, Scott had dropped the gauntlet and with Clint, “He might have broken the quantum tunnel but we need another time machine!”

“The van!” Scott calls out as your team hears you groan.

“Anyone see an ugly brown van anywhere?” You yelled, punching one enemy away from you.

Valkyrie answers back it’s whereabouts as Cint passed the gauntlet over to T’Challa, who was far quicker than Clint. 

“Hey kid,” Tony greets, pausing in his fighting to lift his mask up, you do the same.

“Dad,” You breathed out, embracing him into a hug, “I’ve missed you,”

“I missed you too, bud,” Tony sighs happily, kissing your cheek, “I love you son.”

“I love you too dad.”

The gauntlet managed to get into Peter’s grasp as he flew on the back of Valkyrie's Pegasus. Wanda keeping Thanos preoccupied as the cannons of the ship starts aiming towards the battlefield before it all turned up to the sky.

“What’s going on?” Steve calls out.

“Friday, what are they firing at?” You hear your dad through the communication, as you paused your blasting, looking up to the sky.

“Something just entered the upper atmosphere,” Friday replied.

You smirked, “Hey Carol!”

Captain Marvel flies through the ship, and it results in an explosion and the ship crash-landing in the lake, she hovers over and waves at you.

“Hey, little guy,”

“We need an assist here, Carol!”

As Carol makes her way to the van, you, Tony and Peper form a hovering triangle, blasting in each angel as you spin in a circle, having your back faced to each other. You, Tony and Steve all head over to where Carol was. She flies through all of them easily and reaches Thanos. She keeps punching him, but he knocks her to the ground, wears the gauntlet and tries to snap. But Captain Marvel arises again and stops his fingers from snapping. 

Thanos headbutts her, but it does nothing. 

Thanos pulls the Power Stone out of the Gauntlet and uses it in his free hand to hit Captain Marvel away, then puts the stone back into the Gauntlet.

“(Y/n)!” You turn to see Strange with a questioning look, “You’re needed!”

Strange simply raise one finger, reminding you that the one win over Thanos he foresaw is now at risk. You breathed heavily, everything sounded muted out as you watch the team you grew up and admired struggle. You could hear in the background Steve shouting orders as well as your dad.

You just got your dad back, and yet you were easily going to make the decision that he will live. You nod and attack Thanos, pulling on the Gauntlet before Thanos punches you away.

“(Y/n)!” Tony shouts in desperation at the attack. 

You were on your knees, back straight as you looked at the Titan King, “I am the new beginning.”

Thanos snaps his fingers, but nothing happens except a metallic "clink." He sees the Infinity Stones are missing. You have the stones on your own gauntlet, to Thanos' shock

“I think not.”

You snap your fingers with a loud "CLANG" and a blinding flash of white. Rocket fires at a Leviathan and before it devours him, it crumbles into ash. The Black Order starts crumbling to ash. T'Challa and Quill look around in surprise; Steve looks on in exhaustion, knowing that they won. 

Thanos, in horror, looks around and sees his entire army disintegrate. He looks at Steve, who just stares at him. Thanos sits down and mourns before slowly being erased from existence himself.

Tony snaps his head over to you, your metal suit releases you from inside as you crumble down onto the floor. 

“Kid? Buddy? (Y/n)?” Tony frantically calls out as he gets out of his own suit.

He runs up to you, pulling you into his arms. Your breathing is shallow and your right side is completely destroyed as he clutches you tight in desperation. Pepper, Rhodey and Peter all fly over to you.

“Come on, (Y/n), you’re gonna make it,” Tony’s voice cracked, crumbled, tears forming and staining his cheeks.

“My sweet boy,” Pepper coos, fixing your hair as tears were building up in everyone eyes.

Peter gasping, unable to breathe, he found a family, a brother who would tease him and love him no matter what, fading quickly. Rhodey looking at his godson, Tony was not a religious man but they all pray for a God now.

“I did....” You croaked out, you stare at your dad, “it for you, dad...”

“You’ve done me proud, you always make me proud,” Tony chokes, pulling you closer, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder, your face buried into his neck, “I love you.”

He could see your mouth move, but nothing seems to come out but he hears one last thing, Tony Stark breaks down. He gets you back, you did it for him, only for him to hear your last breath.

Not all of you shall die, Tony decides, your legacy will continue. 

[youcanblogifyouwantto]

Biff’s Year in Music

2020 what can I say… I feel like this meme summed up the first half of it pretty well.

https://cheezburger.com/12209157/ant-man-meme-gives-a-recap-of-all-the-horrors-of-2020-so-far

Then to top it off this last week my son developed a spontaneous pneumothorax which basically is a collapsing of his lung for no apparent reason other than he is a tall thin white adolescent. To make matters worse he is 18 and COVID is raging in all the hospitals.  Thankfully my wife is an RN and should have been a lawyer as she was able to argue her way into staying with him.  Good thing she did because one the doctors fucked up so bad she gave him another Pneumothorax by turning a valve a wrong way.  Needless to say it has been a very rough year and especially rough week for me and my family.  Music has been and always will be the only constant positive release for me.  2020 had some great music and being home for almost an entire year now has led to a lot of music consumption.  The only other thing I did almost as much as listen to music was drink and cook food to match what I was drinking.  I’ve always loved beer and wine and dabbled in Whiskey but this year was the year of the cocktail for me.  I would discover a new alcohol type and then plan crazy elaborate dinners that cocktail would either be an aperitif of digestif for. Fun yes, healthy? …That is yet to be determined. I did take up running again to counter the amount I was drinking and eating and I would say that I have consistently worked out more this year than any other year so my liver might be fucked but my heart and lungs are strong.

So to start it off, this year saw releases from some of my all-time favorite musicians that I found nice and good even but never clicked or haven’t yet.  I had been eagerly anticipating Matt Berninger’s solo release all year and I dig it but strangely not enough to return to it unless I purposely tell myself to.  The same goes for Bright Eyes, Real Estate, Sylavan Esso, Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever minus Cars in Space (I played the shit out of that song), Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Car Seat Headrest, Dirty Projectors, Sufjan Stevens, Laura Marling (on first listen I thought easy top for the year then Fiona Apple came out and I haven’t returned to Laura Marling since), Damien Jurado, Jason Isbell, Neil Young (Homegrown had a special place in my heart for a month but again haven’t returned since August), Future Islands, Kevin Morby, and Busta Rhymes. All of these albums I do not hate or even dislike in fact some I liked a lot at first but just didn’t have staying power.  The following list are albums I loved that some stayed all year in rotation. Not in particular order but kinda like a Coachella poster if it’s near the top it’s one of my favorites of the year. I can be very longwinded on paper and very brief in person so I will try my antisocial tendencies to describe these albums. I will say for the most part the albums that hit this year are like comfort food music for my soul.

Waxahatchee  - St. Cloud – Home, comfort, introspective

Phoebe Bridgers – Punisher – Witty, production, great voice

Run The Jewels – RTJ4  - best running album ever. My favorite from these guys and best rap album I’ve heard in a while.

Jeff Tweedy – Love is the King. Maybe blasphemy but I like better than Warm. Perfect example of music comfort food. His biography is great too and so is the Summer teeth deluxe reissue.

Fleet Foxes – Shore – Beautiful, peaceful everything I needed from them and more. Side note Helplessness Blues was the first album review I ever wrote for ATR and I’m so glad I found those guys! Thank you for continuing the tradition.

Jeff Rosenstock – NO DREAM There was some good punk rock this year but this was the best also great running music. Rosenstock is now my go to for punk

Taylor Swift- Folk Lore- Story Telling, Sweater music, more music comfort food. And now Evermore continues the greatness. Dorothea might be my favorite track from both records. If you would have told me a Taylor Swift album would be in my tops for the year a couple of years ago I would have laughed you out of my face and now she has two albums in my tops. 2020 is one crazy year!

The Avalanches- We Will Always Love You- I’ve loved every single and was waiting for this to drop before posting this.  Well Worth the wait. I like it better than the Gorillaz release and that is saying a lot. It’s hard to have this many spot on features and keep a cohesive vibe! Johnny Marr meets MGMT is another need more of this collab.

Loma  - Don’t Shy Away- If 2020 could be articulated through music disorienting but also working from home has some perks. Good balance of weird and comfort

Adrienne Leckner – Songs- She writes great songs and performs them immaculately

Muzz- ST – The last show I went to before shutdown was Morrissey with Interpol opening and I forgot how much I love Bank’s voice.  This album is highly underrated in my opinion especially Evergreen.

Gorillaz –Song Machine – Best since Demon Days and Robert Smith/Damon Albarn Collab was never anything I thought I needed but now want more of. When Tony Allen died I went through a deep Tony Allen dive that was quite enjoyable. Great Drummer!

Dinner party – ST – The title explains it better than I can

Against All Logic – 2017-2019 – Kelly Lee Owens and this were the only electronica to stay all year both great running albums and If you can’t do it good do it hard is worth the price of admission alone

Hamilton Leithhauser- The Loves of your life- I love this man and I loved the walkmen. I feel he for me is like Frank Sinatra was for my mom. Not as sweet as a voice but can sing the hell out of a song.

Walter Martin – The world at Night- Another Walkmen member, this is another comfort food album it just feels right in my soul

Ka – Descendants Of Cain – Criminally underrated for too long this dude paints lyrical mood pictures like GZA.

Perfume Genius – Set My Heart On Fire Immediately – Beautiful Authentic Elegant

Fiona Apple – Fetch The Bolt Cutters  - Lyrically and sonically slays me. You have to like spoken word and weird rhythm texture but she nails both of those.

Bonny Light Horseman- ST – Great folk indie I just knew this was an album for me on first listen

Rose city band - Summerlong – Best new discovery, feeds my jam band meets indie soul

Strokes - The New Abnormal – I don’t know why this didn’t get more love? I loved it and The Adults are Talking is top five best Strokes songs.

Pinegrove- Marigold – More indie comfort food music

Bartees Strange – Live Forever – Second best new discovery. This dude is all over the place but in a good way. If you like this check out his singles where he covers many National songs.

Kelly Lee Owens – Inner Song- My Friend Antony described this better than I can at the current moment. Inner songs indeed.

The Killers – Imploding the Mirage- Most surprised album of the year, I’ve never been a big Killers fan but this one just wrapped it hooks inside me and didn’t let go all year

Young Jesus – Welcome to Conceptual Beach- Avant-garde or experimental music stretches me in ways that are very good for my soul and this one was such an album

My Morning Jacket – Waterfall II – Took a trip up to Humboldt in Early August and this was the soundtrack of the trip. Very much needed social distance return to nature vacation.

Hum- Inlet – I rocked out to this many a summer early fall evening sitting on my dock fishing and drinking beer.

Haim- Women in Music Pt. III – Best Haim yet and yes they are maturing into great song writers

Nation of Language- Introduction, Presence – Third best new discovery.. My friend Spencer at Shadows and Noise (a blog I’ve contributed to on occasion) accurately describes this album nicely. My wife loves Depeche Mode, New Order, and Erasure so this album is a new version of that genre that she and I can love together.

Coriky- ST – Half of Fugazi with a female drummer that sounds like classic Sleater Kinney in fact Fugazi meets Sleater Kinney is how I would describe this and that can’t be wrong!

EP’s Singles

James Blake- Before (Great marriage of his old and new)

Kruangbin & Leon Bridges- Texas Sun

Local Natives – Sour Lemon

Radio Dept – The Absence of Birds

Leon Bridges – Sweeter

Tom Berlin – Projections

Father John Misty – To S/ To R

Rostam- Unfold you

 Mank is one of the only great movies of 2020!

[posarmeklen]

Birth of the Antichrist

Hahahahahahahahaha. Hahahaha haha. Ohh ha ha ha ha. Sooooo, anyone want a list of some things that would most likely probably happen during/before/after/surrounding Jacknife's tender and special moment? No? Ok, here it is: - It would totally take place in the Doctor's de facto "hospital room" of sorts seen in the episode "Mayhem Donor". I was planning on going for that other hospital-like area in the prison from "Special Needs", but I figured this was a slightly less suitable place for the delicate process of labor, thus making it MORE appealing. - And offering up his space was the LAST of the Doctor's involvement with the pregnancy. He more or less took care of Jacknife while he rode out the end of his pregnancy at Superjail - mad scientist, obstetrician, same thing. However, the Doctor got SO fed up with Jacknife's terrible behavior during their appointments, such as Jacknife kicking him in the throat while on the exam table in hopes of snatching some rubbing alcohol up high on a shelf, that he relinquished every duty dealing with that son of a bitch and his demon spawn. So that left only Jailbot to attend the delivery for ““““moral support””””... and Jared, who the Warden ordered to tag along. It's not like Warden would be game to do that dirty work himself. Jared's already a basket case, never mind that he seems to be terrified of Jacknife, so suffice it to say he wasn't excited out of his mind for the new arrival. - The offspring actually reared his ugly head a month too early mainly because of Jacknife's poor lifestyle choices becoming disappointing prenatal habits. And it JUST SO HAPPENED that Jailbot couldn't help tending to a duty outside the confines of Superjail a day before the momentous surprise. Really... it was a terrible, terrible coincidence that no one likes to see happen. Therefore, with Jailbot MIA, that left Jared alone to "bond with" Jacknife for a good half of the experience. - The morning before the birth, Jacknife experienced one last big gust of chaotic energy. A not-so-calm before the storm, if you will. Feeling totally himself (the strange and ominous pains from last night were somehow gone for the moment!), his personality really sparkled through: sat around a table with a gaggle of the main inmates (this was part of a parental education plan set in motion by the Warden, to which every step had magnificently backfired; in this particular case, the objective was to teach Jacknife the general social skills he sorely lacks and might have needed to be a loving and agreeable parent), he cheated at poker, somehow got into an altercation with Lord Stingray, and physically drooled over an X-rated magazine that he snatched out of someone's hands as the guys half-jokingly gave him the sage advice of getting all his titty goodness in now before he came face-to-face with his bundle of joy. (Barely anyone REALLY thought he would ACTUALLY take on the responsibility of parenthood. They set the bar low after they saw what happened with "that Ultraprison broad".) Alas, Jacknife later leapt straight onto the table to reach for something in a way a pregnant person should not, and there reverberated a mighty splash! An already straining large-sized prison uniform was now drenched, and everyone knew the magic was surely moments away. - During the first moments in the "birthing center", Jared feared for his life as Jacknife, the cause for his terror, prepared to bring new life into the world. Soon enough, though, the ambiance took a turn. Jacknife got that dad sold my toys for booze look on his face. Water works were impending. Jacknife sniveled grossly as Jared reassurred him that he was sure he could do this, because he had already been through SO MUCH WORSE. I mean c'mon! "What's 7 or 8 pounds squeezing through a too-small hole?!" That was Jared's method of uncomfortably consoling someone whom he feels like HE needs consoling when in the presence of. He was freaked out. (Joke's on them. The abomination would slide comfortably over the 10-lb mark.) "Arrggggghrrrrr!!" Jacknife replied. (Their heartfelt moment was cut short from him tensing and sitting up at the discovery of another contraction.) - At long last, a rushed Jailbot burst into the room, demolishing the door as he zoomed into his rightful spot. Not before Jared sped up to him and began speaking inconspicuously through clenched teeth though. "Jailbot! Thank goodness you're here! He's...crazy...!" - As depicted above, Jared verbalized the strangeness of the situation while speaking words of encouragement to the convict. Meanwhile, Jailbot whipped out a metal tentacle arm with an accordion fan attachment from his limitless internal arsenal to fan the shit out of the very overheated Jacknife. - See that scowl on his screen? Take a good look. That's a >:[ of concern. Jailbot was at first absolutely ecstatic about getting to watch Jacknife experience childbirth - since it's of course world-renowned as the worst pain of one's life and putting Jacknife through pain is that sadistic machine's specialty. However, as the orifice that Jacknife would soon birth his child out of gradually opened up, so did Jailbot's heart............ <3 and he began to feel twinges of worry and well wishes for Jacknife and soon-to-be baby. Aaaaawww. - Jacknife flipped Jailbot off because classy and he can't say "You did this to me". - Jacknife also screamed bloody murder. In other words, it sounded like a typical Superjail intro. - Later on, things got super srs. Of his own accord, Jacknife changed position a bunch of times while displaying an uncharacteristic expression of focus because even absolutely feral career criminals "listen to their bodies" and "just know" during labor. Apparently. - Jailbot was the one to receive the dignified honor of Catching The Baby, after which he magically brandished a large pair of scissors and cut the cord too. At once, Jacknife flopped down flat on his back and let out an exasperated sort of groan out of sheer relief and exhaustion. But, in an instant, Jared made eye contact with him from behind Jailbot and tried to be a good sport: "Well, you're not pregnant anymore!" To which Jacknife responded by sitting up like a shot and grinning maniacally ear-to-ear at his newfound freedom. - Ever since it was revealed that Jailbot was the culprit of the knocking up of Jacknife through means such as accidental scientific intervention (of course before an encounter with Jailbot's vibrate mode under the stars), it was a total mystery to everyone as to what on God's green earth the product could actually be. Boy or girl? And aside from the traditional sex-guessing, (sub-)human, robot, or sinful in-between? So when a little mistake with nothing but the best of both worlds VIEW HERE came to say hello, Jacknife groaned in shock at the appearance of his new son, but it was all Jailbot could do not to be overjoyed at nature's wondrous meld of himself and his favorite felon. He was a bit concerned beforehand about the aftermath of a scandalous union between prison staff and inmate resembling him, but not when it *felt so right like this*. Now, all they had to do was remove the infant from jail premises asap. - The rest of the staff (well, the Warden and Alice) entered after the initial festivities. They all (the staff) got misty. Even Alice. It's because their Jailbot was officially a new parent now. They grow up so fast. - Meanwhile, Jacknife sat up in bed grudgingly and carelessly holding his spawn. With everyone totally enveloped in the feel-good event of the century, the four staff members simultaneously turned their heads toward him and smiled down at him encouragingly. Jacknife reciprocated the gesture by growling at them in resentment. - So it was then that Jailbot had an idea to diffuse the tension: He slid open an internal compartment and classically passed out cigars to the attendees of the room. After presenting the Warden, Jared, and Alice with theirs, he paused meaningfully when he got to Jacknife and reflected on the few times over the past couple months where he had to pry cigarettes and other non-pregnancy-friendly substances from his grubby hands. Now that the fetus was out, he felt more than happy to make a crook's day with a tobacco product. Jacknife was over the moon when he saw a metal claw outstretched to him grasping something to smoke, beaming as his jaw went slack and tongue lolled right out. And in order to free his hands to grab the cigar, he made a sacrifice as we sometimes must and tossed the infant off the side of the bed. Poor Jared happened to be standing there and BARELY caught the fortunate robot child totally improptu as he frowned in a panic with his teeth chattering away. Activate Jailbot emoticon for pissed. - And speaking of Jared, he addressed Jailbot and Jacknife and asked what the hell they were gonna do. Good question. :/  The violent mute duo were somehow legitimately excused from SJ for only a couple days so they could hang at Jacknife's place and do their equivalent of discussing their options. (They JUST came to the conclusion that they should not, could not, and ultimately would not actually parent their offspring together. Imagine that!) Jailbot came up with a modified means of transport for the journey away from Superjail (oooooooohh! That lucky robot's about to soak up the wrong side of the tracks!) since there was currently a third passenger in the equation, and who would trust Jacknife to hold a baby with two hands while sitting on a chair, never mind with one as he flew through the sky? That's my question. It turned out Jailbot conveniently morphed into a boxy vehicle with a seat and metal safety bar in front, like something out of an amusement park, and Jacknife sat inside with the kid. What do you know, the little shit got airsick because it was his first time and he graced Jacknife's flesh with some fresh bile. Gross man: "Eeeeeeeewww!" -  During the precious family moments, Jacknife's lack of grace as a parent was spelt out clear as day, as Jailbot temporarily assumed the brave role of single robotic father, more or less (although the "microscopic quotient of selfless love" Jacknife's been rumored to possess came out to play once in a blue moon in such manners as Jacknife scaring the ever-loving shit out of his offspring by pulling wacky faces at him from an already unsightly mug). Now, someone also had to nourish the fruit of their loins from the warmth of their own bosom, all the while said someone wished he could be the spectator instead of the participant and the participant could be someone with bazookas big enough to fill a bra. But alas! You can't always get what you want. Oh yeah and I'm not sure what becomes of the baby afterward yet. But let me tell you. He's goin' places.

[chicago-reeed]

PHCK ME - Reed900 Fic Rec List

Hello!!! You might not remember, but awhile back I mentioned I had the start of a fic rec list that I planned to post (which I never did). To celebrate all 1K+ of you, I thought I would finish the list for you! It is my duty as a loyal reed900 servant.

DISCLAIMER: This list of reccomendations was made purely out of personal opinion. I by no means want to discredit any other fics/authors. Some may not agree with my choices, and that’s totally understandable. I just wanted to share these fics because I personally enjoyed them <3

I didn’t include some fics because they haven’t been updated in a long time, or I didn’t remember them enough to give them accurate reviews. Also, I’m sure there are many more fics that I forgot to put on here (these are from my ao3 bookmarks). I might include them in a future update.

Anyways, all of my recs are under the cut! There are a lot!! I had eight pages worth of them in my documents haha

Mint Condition - by itsdefinitive - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 18/? - Reed could see what they were going for there -- the whole infallible super-soldier thing.  A monument to testosterone made perfect, cast in steel within plastic.  It was actually really creepy.  Maybe that was on purpose.

The first reed900 fic I read, and it’s honestly what got me into the pairing itself.

Charon - by Vapewraith - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 20/20 - Gavin Reed, a mess of a human being, just wants to be left to his self destructive tendencies. RK900, an android designed by the most brilliant minds in the world to be the perfect machine, is desperate to grasp the full range of emotional freedom now afforded to him. The two will need to find an equilibrium before their incompatible personalities—and an eccentric serial killer with a dangerous piece of tech—swallow them whole.

I can’t even describe how much I love this fic. I’m a slut for horror, and there’s plenty of that in here. It might just be my favorite. Definitely recommend.

Two Sides of a Vaguely Similar Coin - by ZombiBird - Mature - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 13/? - RK900 is lost.

It’s been months since the Revolution and he’s still no closer to figuring out what the hell he’s supposed to be doing with himself. He feels like an outsider in his own body. Completely detached, nothing more than a quiet observer; like he’s looking down at the world through a layer of glass instead of fully living in it.

Gavin Reed is a temperamental asshole.

This isn’t news, okay? Gavin’s fully aware of what he is. He burns bridges instead of building them. Bites hands instead of shaking them. Would rather drown in a sea comprised of the consequences of his faults and misdeeds than try to change the way he is. Because people like him? Maybe they deserve to drown.

[Alternatively: Both lost in different ways, Gavin and RK900 try to figure their shit out and end up learning that, sometimes, it takes two people who have absolutely no idea what the hell they’re doing to get a goddamn clue.]

I don’t remember much about this fic, if I’m honest. Not that the story is forgettable, it’s just been awhile since I read it. However, the title definitely stood out to me so I know it was very good :P

Captcha Encryption - by Cerulaine - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content warnings - Chapters 18/? - It's a little over a year after the android uprising and it's still the end of the fucking world.

Back in the day when things became shit he used to enjoy a drink or two. Or Five. It all depended on how long the shift ran. After 'The Accident' he can't even cough without Nines breathing down his neck anymore.

He just wishes everything would go back to normal, but if there's anything Gavin has learned it's that you can't unring a bell once it's been rung.

Or whatever. Fuck if he knows.

Similar situation to the last fic: I don’t remember much about it (my memory SUCKS), but I do remember thoroughly enjoying this one.

Daydreamer - by Pence - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 21/24 - Large purple bruises twined prettily around the corpse’s throat, every finger defined in perfect cruelty. His eyes tore away from the handprints as a cold finger traced the lightning strike scar across the center of his face—drawing his attention to a small, blue lipped smile.

“Do you think you’ll ever leave this town, Gavin?”

________

When a series of Detroit murders are linked as originating in his hometown, Gavin Reed is unwillingly assigned the case. Fowler insists that his history with the place and people will hugely benefit such an investigation.

He was fucking wrong. 

This fic is one big holy shit moment tbh. Really fantastic. Really makes you wonder why these authors aren’t paid to do this.

All Aboard the Underground Railroad - by Senjihae - No Rating - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 11/? - What starts as sticking it towards his half brother evolves into something with the potential to rewrite android history as he knows it. Gavin doesn't realize what he gets himself into until he is mistaken as the 'Android Messiah' of all things. It's not like he goes out of his way to help them, but his life gets a lot harder once Hank is assigned a shiny new boy toy ('sent by CyberLife').

Things only get worse when he's gifted a heap of metal of his own ('sent by Elijah Kamski').

(Yeah, fuck off Elijah)

Very interesting fic. Gavin is RA9 so that’s a thing. A nice slow burn!

Dragon Become Age - by errantwheat - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content Warnings - Chapters 11/? - Y’all wanted me to write dragon age!au so I did :)

YES! YES! YES! DRAGON AGE AU! YES! YES! YES! (it’s really gud)

Warmth - by TheRedPaladin101 - Teen and Up Audiences - No Warnings - Chapters 1/1 - Gavin frowned, the aching in his shoulder fading from his mind for a moment. “Then give me my jacket.”

“Your jacket is in no condition to keep you warm,” he stated. “For now, use mine and stay warm while we wait to head back to the station.”

----

Five times RK900 gave Gavin Reed his jacket, and one time Gavin gave his in return.

Very wholesome. Lives up to its title. Some good ole hurt/comfort!

Letifer - Terminallydepraved - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 19/19 - Gavin Reed is a DPD beat cop determined to make detective by any means possible, and putting an end to a string of murders looks like the quickest way to accomplishing that goal. Unfortunately for him, he fails to account for the real culprit— or the thought that perhaps he isn't the only one on the hunt for a killer.

(Now with cover art by Leetmorry!)

I love beat cop!gavin. It humbles him. And vampire!nines is scary and amazing. Love how the author wrote both of these characters (and the others too!). I definitely recommend this one!

A Strange and Beautiful Creature -  by LittleLalaith - General audiences - No warnings - Chapters 7/7 - Scientist Nines is called in to Amanda's lab to assist with a new discovery - a genuine Mermaid.

While Amanda is indifferent to the creature's circumstances, Nines builds an unlikely connection to the specimen and they grow a little closer than either of them expected.

(AKA Gavin is a sassy sea slug and Nines thrills in breaking the safety protocols)

Mermaid au! Nines wants to save mermaid Gavin, and it’s all very wholesome.

I Think You Do - by spotlightonmringenue - Teen and Up Audiences - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 16/? - “Son of a bitch, there’s another one. What the fuck is it doing,” Gavin says, grip going white on the gun as the android continues to stare at him without acknowledging Connor.

“RK900, my name is Connor. I’m part of a group called Jericho that recovered you from Cyberlife’s Production Center late yesterday. We are currently in the Detroit Police Department Central Station. Are you feeling okay?”

“It doesn’t feel shit,” Gavin mumbles, resisting the urge to step back as the RK900 takes a step closer. It holds out the cup, and Gavin’s eyes dart to it for only a second before flipping between Connor and his doppelganger.

“You requested coffee,” it says, and Hank sighs, leaning back against his desk while rubbing a hand over his forehead.

Quality ‘enemies to friends’ content. Nines is intimidating. Gavin is confused. Good times.

Flying with Crooked Wings - by UnCon - Mature - No warnings - Chapters 20/? - “Listen, kid,” Gavin started, cutting off the desolate child. Sure it was sad his dog had died but it wasn’t Gavin’s fault no one taught the little twerp chocolate was a dog’s kryptonite, “he’s in a better place, alright, so if you’d just stop asking for him to come back—it’d be much appreciated.”

“You promise?” the eight-year-old asked, his big brown eyes looking like glass—fragile and sparkly.

“Yeah,” Gavin lied, looking away as he did it—his halo going a bit crooked. To be honest, he wasn’t sure where dogs went after they died, only that he was tasked with calming the little boys and girls who despaired after them—at least until his punishment was up. “So just, you know, go to sleep and all that.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a world where angels and demons inhabit the same earth, both searching for a way to overthrow the other, both failing--Gavin sits right in the middle, with a crooked halo and a pair of wings to match. It's not enough to be a bit mischievous, however, he also has to get caught up in the demon brothers' scheme to take over heaven. Perfect.

Really good! This fic has the interesting dynamic of Gavin as an angel and Nines as a demon. Check it out!

The Red String Will Still Connect Us Ten Thousand Miles Apart (and to the moon and back) - by Jillflur - Teen and Up - Content warnings - Chapters 5/5 - Gavin, an ‘unlovable’ man without a Soulmate. He was used to it, never had one since he could remember. However, that little fact changes when he wakes up one day and realizes that he suddenly has a Red String connected to his ring finger. It only gets worse when months later, an android walks into the precinct who apparently is his new Soulmate!

Can androids even have Soulmates?!

To make everything even more complicated, a sudden new killer is on the Streets, and he murders people by cutting their Red Strings!

A soulmate fic by our very own jillflur! So good. Amazin. I love the red string trope so much. Yall should big read.

the prince & the reed - by Pence - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 2/? - "I wanted to marry you," the prince murmured, polished armor gleaming as he stared down at the injured man--icy eyes tinged with sadness. Regret.

A guttural scream ripped from the soldier's throat as a heel dug into his wound, arm coated crimson from his weeping shoulder.

The soldier's teeth were stained pink as he jerked his chin up to grin toothily at the other man, bloody fingers scrambling down his thigh in search of the dagger tucked into his boot.

"Then drop to your knees and ask me properly, Nines."

Okay this fic is only two chapters and hasn’t been updated in awhile but GOT DAMN do I love how the author set this medieval fic up. I’m a slut for the medieval au’s, so that’s just extra points.

Not a teacher but I can teach you a thing or two - by Adishailan - Teens and Up - No warnings - Chapters 20/20 - Gavin owed the walking hunk of plastic. He owed him. Ugh, Gavin hated owing people stuff. It gave him a horrible feeling in his stomach, like indigestion, except worse because it involved emotionsTM. This, coupled with the fact he was pumped up with drugs and suffering a concussion, was why he was about to make a terrible, terrible mistake.

“‘Kay. Fine. Thanks or whatever. Lemme know if you ever need anythin' prick.”

RK900’s LED went yellow at this, and this time Gavin was pretty sure he was doing the processing thing. It was still yellow even when he nodded in a serious way and said:

“That would be useful.”

Oh man this one is BIG CUTE! It’s so soft, and is a fantastic slow burn. I totally recommend this fic.

O May I Join the Choir Invisible - by BanishedOne - Mature - No warnings - Chapters 13/? - Gavin Reed was a new inmate at a prison where the infamous killer, R. Nathan Kearney, was on death row. Circumstances led to an unfortunate encounter.

Okay don’t quote me on this but I think you can find the rest of this fic on Twitter. It was posted in a bunch of seperate posts and it was really confusing but there was definitely extra chapters. You can find the post here (or at BanishedOne on twitter). Other than that, this is a really good fic! The boys get into a lot of trouble!

Neon Maps - by caffienefueledfeels - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content warnings - Chapters 11/11 - Everyone has their limits. Gavin is about to discover several of his own.

He's broke, barely scraping along, and struggling to keep an aggressive black-mailer off his back. On top of that, the grey-eyed distraction in his bed is about to test his heart in more ways than one.

Cyberpunk fic!! Super interesting! Go check it out!

Computers Are Elaborate Cat Beds, Actually - by errantwheat - No Rating - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 6/? - “Marvelous find, Gavin. They’ll promote you for this, surely.”

Gavin pulled an exaggerated frown. He was awfully animated for a robot. “Jesus, What kind of human are you? I’m waving a fucking kitten in your face and you’re still a bitch.”

Really cute. I’m pretty sure there’s some art to go with this fic. Super duper cute reverse au!

More Than a Woman, More Than a Bride - by AvixiLynn91 - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content warnings - Chapters 38/? - When Gavin’s life is threatened for the last time by a violent gang expanding the production of a new drug in Detroit, Captain Fowler must come up with a plan for his safety. Perhaps forcing a marriage between Nines and Gavin wasn’t the best solution he could come up with...

Oh man. This fic. Let me tell you. I’ve been with this fic since the beginning and it is one hell of a roller coaster XD. The author updates constantly, it’s really impressive.

More Like You - by Mooneye - Teen and Up - No warnings - Chapters 1/1 - “This next bit’s going to get awkward. I’m going to interface with you.”

At that he could feel the collective confusion in the room. His eyes darted up to look at Hank and then Nines. They both seemed eerily still and were possibly thinking that Gavin had surely lost his mind.

Gavin has kept his prosthetic arm, with good reason, a secret from humans and androids alike for as long as he’s had it. The prospect of losing Nines threatens to unravel everything, but perhaps it’s worth the cost.

The idea of Gavin (an android hater in-game) having a prosthetic-android arm is definitely interesting!

An Unforeseen Union - by AvixiLynn91 - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 16/16 - Gavin and Nines are sent undercover to investigate a slew of brutal murders at a gay counselling and therapy resort for androids and humans. They're forced to pose as a couple, but soon feel their relationship becoming more than an act as real feelings develop.

I loved the dramatic whodunnit vibes in this fic! It gets crazy :P

The Great DPD Kink-Off - by connorssock, LittleLalaith, Skye_Willows, Stujet9rainshine - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 24/24 - It started out as a bit of rivalry and turned into a competition. Who was the kinkiest android in town?

If you like smut, then read this. That is all I will say.

The Black Nights, The Long Dark - by bvssbot - Explicit - Content warnings - Chapters 8/12 - translation of an amazing russian fic тёмные ночи, долгая тьма (the dark nights, the long darkness) into english

An unknown catastrophe was the reason Gavin ended up stranded alone on a godforsaken Canadian island. Having almost made peace with the thought of living in solitude for the rest of his days, he saves the life of a pilot named Richard, whose airplane crashed in the middle of his humanitarian mission.

Shit, I loved ‘The Long Dark’ and I love this fic. I don’t speak russian, unfortunately, so I must wait to read the end. But this is still amazing and you all should read it.

Detroit: Outlast - by Cardboardghost - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 1/? - Connor Upshur is a down on his luck reporter, who spends his nights getting drunk and passing out at home. A mysterious email calls him to Mount Massive Asylum, owned by the Cyberlife corporation. Armed with nothing but a camera and his wits, Connor must brave the asylum's horrors and find way to save the people Cyberlife stole from him.

Gavin Park is a beat cop looking for a more well paying job. So when an offer to work private security at the Cyberlife corporation all but falls into his lap, how could he refuse? Gavin quickly realizes things are not what they seem, and in an attempt to expose Cyberlife, he ends up further in their clutches. Now he and Connor must work together to claw their way out of the asylum's depths, and the familiar faces that wait inside those walls.

This fic only has onw chapter, but go check out Cardboardghost’s art if you finish reading this!! They have provided so much quality content for the Outlast/DBH crossover I didn’t know I needed.

Gin & Tonic - by limchi - Explicit - No warnings - Chapters 8/? - People didn’t like Gavin Reed. Gavin Reed didn’t like people. It went together like gin and tonic, you can’t have one without the other. Nines hated him and he hated Nines. Those were the rules they played by, the rules that couldn't be changed - until fate decided they could.

It turned Gavin into pretending to dislike and Nines into a dense idiot with a crush, unable to grasp the concept of love. Both in utter denial. The catch: gravity worked against them, pulled them together at a frightening pace. Push against and defy the rules of nature or go along the prevailing forces?

Your friendly neighborhood reed900 fic. Very epic slow burn and fluff (and a hint of angst tbh). I definitely recommend!

Bitter Half - by turnabout - Mature - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 5/5 - Gavin Reed was born unmarked, and had spent his entire life expecting to die like he lived - alone. It isn't until Tina points out the new serial number on his chest that he realizes everything is about to change. Whether that's for better or for worse is up to him.

I’m a sucker for soulmate fics and this one does not disappoint!

K-900 - by Serazimei - Teen and Up - No warnings - Chapters 3/3 - Gavin and Nines were a great team. Unfortunately they were both huge workaholics. That's why when Nines' body gets busted on a job and the needed parts aren't available yet chaos is inevitable. Needing to choose between waiting and potentially being of no use at work or participate in one of Kamskis experiments and transfer his mind into an Android dog the decision is easy to make.

Who knew being in a dog body could become such a hassle? Not Nines, that's for sure.

Nines is a pup!!! I don’t believe I’ve seen a fic like this yet, so it’s really cool!

Thanks I'm Hating It - by Lupo (LupoLight) - Explicit: only suitable for adults - No warnings - Chapters 4/4 - Gavin goes to a fast food burger joint and Nines judges him. Then he realizes that Gavin isn't as much of a dick as he used to be, except he is, but in a different way. He isn't sure how to react to this knowledge.

QUALITY reed900 content

Bloodstains - by DeviantAlicee - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 12/? - Nines is an interrogator & detective for the DPD with a dark past. His thick skin & smarts helping him to be one of the most valuable members of the department. He's cold & daunting.

GV200 is one of the first police android models who's partnered with a cruel beat cop who not only hates that his partner is an android but doesn't think GV can feel any of the cruel things he does or says to him. The android doesn't speak up due to the fear of being shut down.

Nines has no clue that the android he bumped into at a bar is in fact a police android. He just thinks that he might be somebody in need of some help. But, as time passes by & a new drug that can be used by androids begins to circulate, Nines begins to realise the situation is a whole lot more convoluted than he originally thought.

This is a really interesting reverse au! Check it out!

Team spirit - by ilse_writes - Mature - No warnings - Chapters 4/4 - Someone had the unholy idea to go camping with the department, all in the name of 'team building'. Gavin is not liking it very much. That tall instructor with his haughty manners and cool eyes... that one he likes very much.

I don’t think I’ve seen another au quite like this one. Very epic content, can we hit Gavin Reed?

Wake Up - by SkySquid22 - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 6/? - “Gavin!”

GV200 slipped out of his stasis. He didn’t get a chance to open his eyes before a file came down on his face, smacking him.

“And here I thought tin cans didn’t sleep.”

Something was wrong.

Something was very very wrong.

DIS GOT ME  F U C K E D  U P!!! Bruh @skysquid200 really out here shaking my world with this fic. I was hollering while reading this like I got HYPED

Natural - by Erik_Heinrich - Teen and Up - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 1/? - They are all wing people.

Gavin gets partnered with Nines. As expected hes not too happy about it, but their partnership seems to be going well. That is until spring comes along. Nines wings seem a bit fidgety and Gavin is nesting. Nines doesn't realize he's been trying to court Gavin, and Gavin is just as oblivious.

or. They are both complete idiots the whole time

WING FIC WING FIC WING FIC!!!! Yall dont know how long I’ve looked for a reed900 wing fic. My homie @phckingusername out here doin God’s work <333

Thank you all so much for 1K!!! Being able to hop on Tumblr everyday and talk to you guys makes me so happy!! I really hope I didn't f up this rec list anywhere lol. Hope u guys like it!!

[tybalt-tisk]

.consider it handled

// Shallura {protect au} Summary: Allura just wanted to have a peaceful workout. Warnings: Flirting, Fake Dating.  Also on Ao3 // Also, I did add a Read More option, but sometimes Tumblr hates ya girl.

.~.xXx.~.

Sometimes Allura was too nice. She knew that. It was one of the few things everyone knew about the princess. She always had the tendency to disguise how she truly felt behind a dazzling smile and uphold the regal composure that took years of etiquette classes to master. Sure, on more than one occasion, it had landed her in her fair share of easily avoidable situations when she gave people the benefit of the doubt when she knew she shouldn’t have, but it was never anything she couldn’t handle.

Until now.

Now, at this exact moment in time, while she was trying to complete her workout, she was doing everything in her power to remember her training by refraining herself from driving her fist directly into the mouth of the arrogant man who was desperately trying to get her number. He had been at it for far longer than she would have liked and even though she kindly rejected him, more than she could possibly remember, the man just couldn’t seem to take the hint. Her smile wavered with every obnoxious word that left the man’s lips and her fingers itched to find a new home in his mouth.

With perfect form, she did another forward lunge and masked her irritation with a deep breath that could be easily mistaken for exhaustion. Well, it wasn’t far off because she was exhausted. Just mentally. With him.

The only reason why she chose this gym was so she could have a peaceful workout. It was just far away from home so she could remain unrecognized most of the time, but just close enough so she could return within the hour in case something came up. For the past month, she enjoyed this gym; it was spacious, clean, and it had various activities, like yoga and spin classes she could attend if she ever felt the need to. All in all, it was a very nice gym...except for him.

The man laughed at his own joke and it almost made her sneer. “I was just thinking that. Ya know since we both like purple…” Allura feared that if she rolled her eyes one more time, they’d get stuck like that. This man was saying anything and everything to woo her even if it meant resorting to him assuming that her favorite color was purple simply because it was the color of her oversized tank top. “...that me and you could…”

“You and I,” she corrected under her breath with another lunge forward.

The man made a questioning sound. “You say something, darlin’?”

She shook her head innocently with a forced smile. “No, I didn’t say a thing.” She’d lost count of how many lunges she put her left leg through, but the burning sensation told her that it was time to switch to the right.

He leaned heavily on the machine next to him and folded his arms over his puffed out chest. “Anyway, yeah, what do you say to me picking you later tonight for a little...one-on-one time?” He finished the vain proposal with a wiggle of his eyebrows and Allura couldn’t help the subtle snort that left her lips at the ridiculous attempt to look...literally anything but sexy. This man was persistent, arrogant, and vain. What an unfortunate combination of shitty characteristics.

She quickly finished her set before she turned to him and wiped the sweat off her brow. “Look, I’m very flattered by your...persistence, Jerry.”

“The name’s Gavin.” She knew his name, but she was irritated.

She expertly hid a smirk under an artificial look of confusion. “Mason?” she responded absentmindedly with a fictitious frown as she picked up the various weights and placed them back in their appropriate locations.

“Gavin,” he said a bit louder, just in case she didn’t hear him over the sound of grunts and the machinery around them.

After she placed the weights back, she freed her hair from its loose ponytail so she could redo it tighter. She flipped her hair over her shoulder and raked her fingers through the strands to work out the newly formed tangles and knots. “Michael, please don’t make this hard for me…”

He suddenly clapped his hands together once as if he just witnessed an impressive trick. “How did you know my middle name?” he asked enthusiastically and Allura suppressed a groan at her accidental discovery. Out of all of the names she threw out, she just had to pick the one he identified with. “Wow, we have such a deep connection! Amazing!”

“Yeah...amazing,” she said sarcastically, fixing her hair. This was getting old and her patience was wearing dangerously thin. She decided then and there that she had finally had enough. “Gavin, listen to me and please listen to me carefully. I do not want to go out to dinner with you. I do not want to catch a movie with you. I do not want to take a long walk on the beach with you and talk about ‘our future together’,” she finished her sentence off with air quotes. She looked him square in the eye and spoke with the same authoritative voice that she used when she commanded the attention of the room. “I want nothing to do with you. Now, please leave me alone so I can continue my workout in peace. Am I making myself perfectly clear?”

Gavin seemed taken aback at her tone as the words started to sink in and for a moment, for a sweet, blissful moment; one filled with silence and the peace she longed for, Allura thought she finally had reached through to him.

He nodded slowly. “I think I get it,” he said with a roguish grin. “You just want to skip all the formalities and go right to the bedroom, don’t ya?”

Something snapped within her, and all of the training her etiquette tutors spent years embedding into her flew directly out the window. Allura didn’t think twice as she brought her balled fist back so she could deck the arrogant man who dared considered he even had a sliver of a chance with her, but before she surged it forward, a firm but familiar grip caught her wrist and eased it down to her side smoothly in one fluid motion.

“Hey babe, we still on for dinner tonight at your Dad’s place?” Allura didn’t need to look back to know exactly who just saved this idiot’s two front teeth. The arrogant man’s vision was so clouded with his own self-inflated ego, that he didn’t even know his, so-called, good looks were in danger of the princess’ wrath.          

It took a moment, but when she realized exactly what he had said, her eyes darted to meet his and she knew exactly what he was doing. Her bodyguard was only confrontational when he needed to be and right now, he was looking for a way to let the guy down easy, even if Allura wanted to do anything but that at this point. Shiro raised his brows as if he had asked her an unspoken question when she didn’t immediately respond. She narrowed her eyes but reluctantly followed his lead with a huff and relaxed her fist.

Within a fraction of a second, all of her training rushed back to her and she sent him the perfect smile. “Of course, but remember we need to stop by that cute little bakery I like so we can pick up dessert because I won’t have the time to make anything.”

Shiro released her wrist when he realized that she wasn’t going to follow through with her assault on the poor, unsuspecting man. “Okay, that’s fine. I’ll pick up a pie on the way home,” he lied smoothly. “Your dad’s allergic to apples, right? Or is it cherries?”

“Rhubarb,” she corrected him casually, even though the allergy was completely fabricated information about the reigning king.

Shiro made a sour face. “Great, rhubarb is trash anyway.”

“It’s absolutely delicious, you just have trash taste buds.” She turned her back to him then handed him her hair tie over her shoulder.

Shiro rolled his eyes. Of course, she would take this fake dinner date opportunity to make him fix her hair. But he’s not complaining. He’ll never complain. He absolutely loves the way her soft hair felt against his fingers. Although sometimes, the strand did tend to snag on his metal joints, thankfully he’s gotten better at keeping it to a minimum.

He rolled the elastic hair tie that’s seen better days onto his wrist before he gathered her thick curls in his hands. He finger-combed her scalp to wrangle in runaway strands before he secured her hair into a neat ponytail that left them both slightly surprised.

“Hell yeah,” he mumbled to himself, praising his small victory.

She looked over herself in the mirror that covered the entire back wall of the gym and tightened her new ponytail from the base. “Not bad, Shirogane.” She turned back to face him and was surprised and equally annoyed to see that Gavin was still there, looking back and forth between the two. Even when she was clearly “taken”, the obnoxious man still couldn’t even grasp the mere concept that she wasn’t interested in him.  

Her irritation must have shown because Shiro reached forward to grab her by the hips and gently, he pulled her closer to him. She came to him without the slightest ounce of hesitation and without being prompted to, she casually brought her arms up to rest atop his shoulders. With her in his arms and with him in hers, he almost forgot it was a charade they were acting out. He knew it was dangerous to be with her like this - for this to feel all too natural to him. It was such an intimate position but strangely enough, it felt like he’d done it a million times before.

Maybe because he did.

He’s held her like this plenty of times. Like when they were at formal events and she gave him a look that told him that she wanted to dance. He’s never told her no and using the simple steps she’d taught him, she allowed always him to lead her gracefully around the dance floor. Or when she brought out the teenage rebel in him when she wanted to sneak out of her luxurious home, “the old fashioned way” as she so elegantly put it, and he’d had to help her down from the second story when he knew damn well she was capable of doing it herself.

...Or when it just the two of them on those quiet nights when the manor was asleep and the only thing left for them to do was to explore the boundaries of the friendship they are both painfully aware that went well beyond what separate friendship from duty from something else he was always scared to admit out loud.

“What time do you want to leave?” he asked, breaking himself away from his runaway thoughts.

She made a thoughtful face. “I want to get there around 7:30,” she told him.

He looked at his watch to check the time, not that it even mattered. “Okay, I’ll do one more round, then I’ll head out and grab the pie on the way home. Don’t stay here too long because you know how long it takes you to get ready.” Unlike the rest of their ruse, that part was him speaking nothing but the truth. Sometimes, she could be a brat and she’d take forever to get dressed. Most of the time, it was because she was too busy pestering him, and other times, she simply didn’t want to go, so she waited until the very last possible moment before she started to even consider getting herself together.

She pouted and clicked her tongue. “I do not.”

“Oh, you might think that you don’t, but you do.” She playfully jabbed him on the shoulder in retaliation, knowing damn well that he was right.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Gavin watching them intensely as if he was waiting for Shiro to leave so he could make his move on her again. He felt Allura’s irritation rub off onto him. What was with this guy? What did it take to get him to beat it?

In front of him, Allura giggled and she gave him a look that he’s seen plenty of times - when they glided around the dancefloor, when he helped her sneak out, and when it was just the two of them late at night hidden away from the harsh reality of the world and their position in it. He knew this look all too well and it always signaled for the one thing he’s never given to her.

But he’d be damned if he gave in to her now because some jackass that couldn’t read a room.

Instead, he hooked a single finger under her tank and pulled her close until her lips almost met his. She watched his mouth move as he spoke just loud enough so Gavin could hear what he was going to say next.  “Also, I want my tank back.” He almost laughed out loud when he heard Gavin release an annoyed gasp, followed by a few brash words.

She smirked at the man’s reaction and caught her bottom lip between her teeth, both out of spite for the arrogant man and also to tease Shiro with one of the many things she did that she knew drove him wild. If they were playing a game, then she might as well play to her advantage. She knew she hit her intended target when the hand that still rested on her hip tightened in warning.

She laughed to herself before she released her lip so she could speak. “I don’t think I can do that because it looks better on me.” Once again, the lines were blurred between the show they put on and the playful nature that was their undefined relationship.

He shrugged. “You look a’ight.”

She looked amazing.

Seeing her wear his clothes always stirred something within him. She had enough money in the world to wear the latest fashions, but instead, she chose to raid his closet for her casual attire. He still hasn’t seen his favorite hoodie. Well, no that was a lie because he’s seen it. On her.

When he was sure that Gavin had finally retreated somewhere deep into the gym, probably to cancel his membership, he stepped away from Allura. “You alright?”

She nodded. “Of course, and it's all thanks to my knight in sweaty joggers,” she laughed.

“I would have come sooner, but you keep insisting that you can handle these types of things.” His sentence was laced with sarcasm. Of course, if Gavin had displayed any type of aggressive behavior, he would have stepped in before the man even told her his name. But a subtle hand signal from Allura kept him at bay.

“And I was about to handle it until you showed up and pretended that you were my boyfriend,” she responded full of confidence with her head held high.

He raised a thick brow. “You call laying that guy out, ‘handling it’?”

She used him for balance while she stretched her legs for her upcoming jog on the treadmill. “As a matter of fact, I do. I can bet you my horse in The Netherlands that if I would have handled it the way I intended to, he wouldn't have ever bothered me again.”

Shiro snorted. She was completely right, she would have made her message clear as day if she had done it her way. She may be petite compared to his large frame, but the tiny princess had a mean left hook that was nothing to take lightly. He knew for a fact that he saved Gavin and not the fight club princess who was ready to throw hands. But also, “Who the hell bets a whole horse?”

She walked away with a flip of her new ponytail. “People who have horses to bet, of course.” She made it sound like he should already know this. “I guess it's time for cardio.” She looked almost defeated by admitting it.

Shiro laughed at her tone. “You make it sound like that’s a bad thing.”

“Because it is,” she whined. Allura only liked to work out to keep her body healthy. Sure, there were certain activities she liked to do, but there’s one thing she hated more than anything and that was running. She definitely had the stamina to jog five miles easily, but her laziness tended to peek through and stunted that trek down to only two or three. Shiro lost count of how many times she dragged him out of bed for a morning run, only for her to give up at their further point and call for a taxi.

“You’re a drama queen, you know that?” He leaned her over to the treadmill and leaned over the frame as she programmed it for a steady walk.

“I am not a drama queen.” She increased the speed to a light pace she could be comfortable with before she placed her headphones into her ears. “I’m a drama princess.” She gave him a purposely cheesy wink before she fully started her cardio session and Shiro shook his head before he ventured off to finish his own workout.

.~.xXx.~.

Allura wiped the sweat off her brow once she finished her run. It wasn’t as bad as she made it out to be. She actually made herself proud at the fact that she ran for a lot longer than she usually did, but she felt like she needed to make up the extra cardio from all the time Gavin wasted trying to woo her.

Allura took a long drink of water before she came to the decision that she was done putting her body through hell for the day. She wrapped her headphones around her cell before she left to search for Shiro in the massive gym.  

She immediately knew where he was. Unlike her, who just did what she pleased at the gym, Shiro had a strict schedule that he religiously stuck to. Today was arm day for him and along with a few reps using the equipment, he also liked to work on his agility in the boxing ring.

She heard him before she saw him. The hard jabs that met his opponents punch mitts echoed throughout the room and it gathered a crowd who looked on in awe. She found a gap in the crowd and approached the edge of the ring so she could watch him as he went through the speed drills. His feet were silent and his hands were quick and powerful as they met their target with deadly precision. He showed perfect form when he followed two quick jabs to the right with a hard left hook and a tuck to the right. The action happened so fast, she almost missed it.

His steel grey eyes were focused on their target and they held a different light than what she was used to seeing. It was like he wasn’t her Shiro. The Shiro she knew was always so kind and gentle with her that she always forgot that he could be extremely dangerous when he needed to be. He had been top of his class after all.

Beside her, a few women swooned at the sight and she rolled her eyes. Gavin and these ladies would get along just great, she thought.

Out of the corner of his eye, Shiro saw a flash of white. He knew he had gathered a crowd but none of them phased him like she did. Right now was the absolute worst time to be distracted, not during a speed drill. He twisted his body to evade an incoming punch before he gave a precise combination of jabs and hooks.

When the whistle blew, both praised the other for their participation. Shiro unfastened his gloves before he made his way to Allura who was stood at the side of the ring. His face heated at the realization of how many people had gathered around to watch him.

She handed him her water bottle so he could take a well-needed drink. “You’re so cute when you blush,” she teased loud enough so the gossiping ladies could hear her. They immediately went silent when they watched Shiro take her offered water.

“I thought I was cute all the time?” he caught her tease and threw it right back at her.

She folded her arms over her chest and raised a brow. “And what hussy told you that?”

He finished off the rest of the water before he handed it back to her. “You did, ya hussy.” He laughed at his own joke and she couldn’t help but join in. He squatted down to her level. It was rare that she watched him do his drills. She always tended to keep her space from him until it was time to leave or if something was bothering her. His face suddenly turned serious and she saw the same dark look flash in his eyes when he was focused in the ring. “Is that man bothering you again?”

She quickly shook her head. She was glad that Gavin gave up on her because there was no saving him if Shiro took him as a serious threat. “Nope,” she said lightly. “However, something is on my mind.”

“What is it?” he said quickly. When she disclosed something to him, he always took it seriously, regardless of the severity.

“What time should I be ready?”

Huh?

She didn’t have anything scheduled tonight. Along with being her bodyguard, he was also sometimes her personal assistant. He knew of every event, every public appearance, and every trip she had coming up within the next two months memorized down to the hotels they were staying into the roads they would be using. When he couldn’t think of what she was referring to, he furrowed his brows in confusion.

She rocked on the balls of her feet causally and her crystal blue eyes danced with mischief. “You promised me a date tonight, Shirogane,” she said playfully. “Or did you forget already?”

Shiro searched her eyes, looking for any sort of indication if she was joking or not. There were ladies around ogling his form, so maybe she was just returning to their little charade they played earlier.

But then…

She always told him that she’d get him to take her out one day, and he did. He did every single time she asked, but it was always in good fun...that always ended with a missed opportunity.  But now, he could tell that she meant it.

He smiled at her warmly before he brought her knuckles to his lips. “How does 8:30 sound, Princess?”

“It’s perfect.”

.~.xXx.~.

Also, I’m really considering making this an actual story. One with a storyline and character development, but I’m unsure. Let me know!