#..... and from that.... how can we see ourselves

[toruslvt]

HOT BABES IN YOUR AREA

⋆ your broke boyfriend and roommate Toji suggests you both start an onlyfans.

⋆ mdni. +f!reader, obviously filming unprotected sx, groping, taking suggestive pictures, dirty talk, very very dirty talk, praising, squirting, he calls you slut once.

a soft pop was heard from Toji’s back shoulders as he stretched, rubbing the back of his neck with a tired yawn. it'd been a long day in between picking up uncalled fights and betting on races, luckily he managed to make some money, at least enough to cover a few expenses like the bills and a part of the rent of the shitty overpriced apartment you lived in. he didn’t really care though, as long as he got to see your pretty face, Toji would agree to live under a bridge.

after counting the hundreds bills he hummed satisfied, putting them in his pocket while walking through the bustling streets, following the path he knew perfectly. and to his luck, the first thing he finds upon entering your living room is well, you, sitting on the couch looking worn out. why did your cute little face was even cutter all exhausted?

“welcome home” you chime, giving the man a soft smile and slight look as he steps through the door, “how was your day?” the words are mingled with the tap of your fingers on a laptop keyboard, focused and slightly squinted eyes flickering through the bright screen.

Toji smirks at the sound of your voice, walking over the back of the couch where you sit and tilting your head sideways, a bit rougher than intended, but the languid kiss he leaves on your mouth doesn’t let you complain, “shitty” he grins, parting from your mouth with a slight thread of saliva connecting you both, “but that’s life, doll, sometimes we win, sometimes we lose”

“liar” you say with furrowed brows and a knowing look, “where’s the money”

you have always been so good at looking though him, with a deep chuckle he reaches for the pocket of his loose pants, waving the wad of cash in the air before returning it to it's previous place, “any luck?” he asks pointing to your laptop with his chin, curious whether you’d got any luck at searching for a proper paying job.

“mm, nothing new” you mention, the tapping fading as your caught by surprise at the sudden movement of Toji attempting to lay on your lap, not giving a fuck whether he did it on top of the keyboard and ruined your most valuable possession, “hey...!”

ignoring your struggles he speaks, “y’know, there has to be another way to earn money, not like we can live solely from gambling, huh?” he chuckles, he knew he was not stopping with the gambling, “maybe you can come bet with me, maybe we can try something else...”

you raise a brow, looking down at him on your lap “what are you thinking about?”

a slow grin spreading through his face as he licks his teeth once, “you ever heard of onlyfans?”

a choke is the first thing that comes out of your mouth, and you really should have grown used to Toji’s boldness by the months you’ve been dating —and currently, living together, “are you serious?”

“c’mon, don’t give me that look” he huffs, teasingly rolling his eyes “we could be earning money while having fun”

you have actually considered the option, and now coming from your boyfriend’s lips sounded even more tempting, specially with the way he not so subtly adjusted his gigantic cock beneath his pants. what was he even thinking of.

you give him a tilted look, urging him into continue with the thought and earning a dark chuckle in return, “we can sell some pictures, y’know” he starts, sitting upright and kneeling with one of your thighs between his, cupping the back of your neck to keep your gaze on his, so close you felt his breathing on your lips, “maybe even stream ourselves fuckin’, n’ charge people too watch. we’d be swimming in money in no time” his voice drops and a devilish gleam lighting up his eyes, “thinkin’ bout it got me hard as fuck”

and with the way his heavy, hot bulge is pressing on your thigh you’re getting so horny too, breathlessly whispering a “yeah, alright” that’s a bit too desperate.

“that’s my girl” he purrs, leaning down to suck your tongue onto his mouth, the sound so lewd your panties get wet in an instant, “need to fuck you hard..., but not yet, babe” voice is thick with lust, in a sudden movement you’re on top of him, straddling his hips while his fingers trail across your stomach, dipping low to brush on the edge of your underwear peaking from above your pants, “gotta show off what we got goin’ on here” as he speaks one hand comes up to slide under your shirt, squeezing a breast slightly rough, "you got nice tits, babe, why don’tcha let me take a pic of them?, with this pretty little body of yours all those perverts will be paying good for more than just a picture”

“you’re turning into quite a businessman” you tease, an attempt of a grin on your face that gets interrupted by a sharp gasp at the rough touch of your lover’s calloused fingertips pinching your nipples, then your shirt is out in the blink of an eye.

one hand grasping your phone and the other slides the cup of your bra down, enough to feel the weight on his palm, “mm, someone’s got a really nice pair” focusing on capturing the swell of your breasts and his tough palm cupping your soft skin, Toji starts snapping the pictures, occasionally flicking your nipples to watch them harden under his touch, “that should be enough” he groans after a while, pulling you down for a kiss and setting your phone into your pocket so both his hands reach for your ass, gently guiding your hips back and forth on his hard cock.

“you’ve got nice tits too, why don’t you let me take pics of them?” you smirk against him, earning a chuckle from your boyfriend before he’s carrying you to the bedroom, placing you in bed while he hoovers your body, deliberately slow peeling off his own shirt with a wide smirk on his lips.

soon your phone gallery is filled with 'thirst traps' as you roll in bed, “these will sell good” you murmur, voice hoarse from the endless teasing as you watch at your small hand wrapped around Toji’s fat cock through the device screen, languidly masturbating him until the flushed mushroom shaped tip drooled precum all over your belly.

Toji has never been as turned on in his entire life, quickly gripping your hips and guiding his length down to gently tap your lower abdomen, mimicking a thrust that reaches your belly button, “fuck..” his breathing comes unsteady, each thrust drawing more precum, and honestly it was extremely surprising for him to be so worked up without fucking your cunt.

it’s not a surprise your account grows so much and so sudden, the sexual tension and undeniable chemistry present in every post, and just as expected, what started with merely pictures turned into videos; a better quality camera perched on a side of the bed where the sight of your dripping pussy swallowing Toji’s cock was on prime sight, sinking and raising with practiced ease, “f-fuck, Toji” you mewl, rolling your hips on his pelvis before continuing to bounce hard with the help of his hands squeezing your ass. each gasp and slap only encouraging you further, so ready to fill your tight walls with a nice creampie.

your bank account gets as filled as your closet, with Toji delving into the pleasure of buying you slutty skirts and panties to rip during live streams, although his favorite one is a cream, pleated skirt, one that barely covers your ass, but who cares when that’s what the public wants.

“it’s so difficult not to fuck you right now” Toji grunts staring at your outfit a bit too intensely, opting instead to cup your cheeks roughly and kissing you sloppily, plunging his tongue into your willing mouth, just for a good couple of minutes to leave you hot and bothered.

a bit embarrassing at first, specially considering one of your boyfriend’s favorite positions to fuck you in was sitting on a chair in front of the desk with your streaming setup, camera pointing directly at your barely covered ass that slapped and jiggled lewdly with each forceful pull of Toji’s hands on your waist, fucking you on his throbbing cock.

“oh yeah, babe, such a good fuckin’ girl, taking every inch of my cock” he coos against your ear, looking straight into the camera that perfectly captures the way your lips hungrily grip his cock, juices splattering around with each smack of his balls on your ass.

“Toji, toji, toji!” is all you can moan, turning into a broken sob as you’re unable to move or squirm, just beg and take cock, “t’s so deep, oh god, T-toji slow down”

but he just snarls in return, the chime of incoming tips only fueling his stamina, “your pussy is begging for it, doll, tightening around my cock, ah shit—, so creamy and juicy, my pretty little cock hungry slut”

his thrusting becomes more frantic, his shaft plunging into the depths of your cunt, heavy and full balls slapping your ass until it got sore.

“m’cumming, ngh, o-oh fuck,... toji, please!” with a sudden, and extra rough thrust aimed at your g-spot you squirt loudly, nails digging into his broad shoulders as your juices splatter around, most likely staining the camera lens with a couple drops by the sound of the stream tips increasing, you didn’t care though, focused on not passing out as you scream and tits rub on your boyfriend’s chest, adding into the sensation, yet your money lust driven lover doesn’t stop, pulling your hands back against your back for his to hold, bouncing you on his cock solely from the grip of one of his hands and his hips bucking up widely.

he hums, biting down on his tongue at the tightening of his balls from the sensation of your walls milking his cock, sucking him deeper with each thrust into your needy, cumming core, so close to filling your womb with his own cum “making a mess on my cock, your juices are dripping everywhere, was it that good?” you can’t reply, obviously, “i’m so close, darling, ready to fill your messy cunt with my seed”

[beatrice-otter]

I’ll be honest, when one party’s aiding and abetting the genocide and the other’s outright gonna kill all my friends, I don’t really care if the fascists “win”. They’ve won already.

You know who would be delighted to hear that? Trump and Putin. The US far right and the Russian government have poured lots of time, effort, and money over the last decade+ into convincing US leftists and liberals that things are hopeless, there's no point in even trying to make things better, and the Democrats and Republicans are functionally interchangeable. They do this because one of the easiest ways for them to win is if the left gives up and stops trying. Every person on the left they can convince to give up in despair brings them closer to complete control. Defeatism on the left actively supports victory on the right.

I think your statement is wrong on a number of levels, both factual and emotional. It comes from not understanding what the actual options are for the US government and the President specifically, either at home or abroad. And it will allow actual fascism to flourish and make the world far worse than it is now.

On an emotional level, the way to address this is to stop doomscrolling. Stop focusing on the worst things happening in the world. Don't ignore them! but don't let them consume you. Start looking for the things that are going well. Find places in your community that you can get involved in making things better. Even if it's only on a small scale like volunteering in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, it will help you realize that you aren't helpless, that there are things that can be done to make the world a better place. Stay informed about things on a local, national, and international level, but limit how much time and attention you give to things that depress you that you can't affect. Instead of sitting there thinking about all the ways the world sucks and how awful things are, look for things you can do that are productive, and then do them. You'll feel better and you will have made your corner of the world a little better. And you will be a lot less likely to unintentionally fall into the despair, nihilism, and passivity that the fascists want you to be consumed by.

Always remember that the worlds problems are not resting solely on your shoulders, or solely on America's shoulders, and neither is the hope of fixing them. Everyone has things that we can do to make the world a better place, but there are also things that are beyond our control. We can control what we do; we cannot control what others do. We can and should try to make the world a better place, but focusing on the things we can't change has no positive benefits. Focusing on things we can't change accomplishes two things: it makes you feel bad, and it stops you from doing the things you actually can do to make things better. Neither of these things is good for you or anyone else. Look for things you can do and do them. Keep informed on the things you can't change, but don't focus on them.

On a factual level, let's look at "aiding and abetting genocide," shall we?

First, it's important to remember that the US President is not the God-Emperor Of The World. The US government has limits to what it can and can't do in other countries, and both legally and practically. If the US wants to intervene in a problem in another country, there are a variety of things we can do that boil down to basically four categories. It's a lot more complex than this in practice, of course, but in general here are the categories of things we can do:

Send in the troops. Invade, either by ourselves or as part of a NATO or UN operation. (Or maybe just send in a CIA wetworks team to assassinate the head of state.) I hope you can see the moral problems with this option, and also, we've done this a shitton of times over the course of the 20th Century and pretty much every time we've done it, we've made an already awful situation worse. On a moral level, it's pretty bad, and on a practical level, it's worse. Sure, we could stop the immediate problem, but what then? Consider Afghanistan and Iraq. We got rid of Saddam Hussein and the Taliban, and everything went to shit, we spent twenty years occupying Afghanistan with pretty much nothing to show for it. (The Taliban is back in control of Afghanistan.) Things were worse when we left than when we arrived. So this option is pretty much off the table (or should be).

Diplomatic pressure. Now, the thing is, they're a sovereign nation, they don't have to listen to us if they don't want to. We have a lot of things we can leverage--including financial aid--but the only way to force them to do what we want is to invade and conquer, and that only works temporarily. Since we can't force, we have to persuade. This requires us to maintain our existing relationship with the country in question, and possibly strengthen it, because that relationship is what we're leveraging to try and influence them to do what we want them to do. If we do not maintain our relationship, they have no reason to listen to us.

Cut ties and go home. Break off any existing relationship and support, loudly proclaim that they're awful and doing awful things and we wash our hands of the whole situation. This keeps our own hands lily-white and pure, but it also means we have zero leverage to work on any kind of a diplomatic solution. They have no reason to listen to us or care about what we think. We can pat ourselves on the back for doing the right thing, but we destroy our own ability to influence anything. Not just now, but also in the future. Let's say the current crisis ends, and then ten years later there's another crisis. If we want to have any effect then, we would have to start from square one to start building a relationship. Cutting ties would be great for making Americans feel better about ourselves, and there are times when it's the only option, but it should be a last resort. If there is any hope of being able to influence things for the better this will destroy it at least temporarily.

Cut ties and impose sanctions. Break off any existing relationship and support, loudly proclaim that they're awful and doing awful things, but also use the might of the American economy to isolate and punish them. We've done this a lot over the 20th Century, too, and it has never actually resulted in the country in question buckling down and toeing the line we want them to. What happens is the sanctioned country has an economic shock (how long it lasts and how bad it gets depends on a lot of factors) and then pulls themselves back together economically, except this time they're more self-sufficient and less reliant on international trade and financial networks. They tell themselves that America is evil and the cause of all their problems, and so not only do they not listen to us, they actively hate us. And they have fewer international relationships, so fewer reasons to care about what the international community thinks about them. So they're most likely to double down on whatever it is they're doing that we don't like. This one is completely counterproductive and utterly stupid. It's great for making Americans feel better about ourselves, but if we actually care about being able to use our influence for good (or, at least, to mitigate evil) this option shoots us in the foot. It encourages other nations to do the very thing we're trying to stop them from doing.

So, with those four options in mind, both option one (invasion/assassination) and option four (sanctions) are off the table for being immoral and counterproductive. That leaves "breaking our relationship and going home" and "using diplomatic pressure" as our only two viable options.

Biden has chosen option two, diplomatic pressure. Yes, he and our government have continued financial support for Israel ... but with strings attached. They have put limits on it that have never been put on any US foreign aid before. They have taken legal steps to lay the groundwork to target Israeli settlers (i.e. Israeli citizens who confiscate Palestinian homes and businesses). We've been hearing reports for months that Benjamin Netanyahu (Israeli Prime Minister, and a far-right-wing demagogue) hates Biden's guts, because Biden is pressuring him to stop the genocide and work towards peace. Biden is maintaining the relationship, and he's using that relationship to try and influence things to curb the violence and pave the way for a just peace settlement of some sort. Biden has also mentioned the possibility of a two state solution where Palestine becomes its own completely separate country. That's huge, because up until this point the US position has always been that Israel is the only possible legitimate nation in that territory. If Biden stopped US support for Israel, it wouldn't force Israel to stop what it's doing ... but it would let them ignore us. It would remove any leverage or influence we might have.

Biden's hands aren't clean. But the only way for them to be clean would be to also give up any chance of influencing the situation or working to protect Palestinians now or in the future. Only time will tell if it works, but I personally would rather have someone who tried and failed than someone who didn't even try. You might disagree about whether this is the right course of action, and there's a lot of room for honest disagreement about the issue (there's a lot of nuances that I'm glossing over or ignoring). But please do acknowledge that Biden isn't supporting Israel because he supports genocide; he's doing it so that he can continue to maintain diplomatic pressure on Israel to stop the violence.

Which brings us back to "aiding and abetting genocide." Trump is not like Biden. Trump is good friends with Netanyahu and backs Israel to the hilt. Trump thinks that all Arabs are terrorists (and all Muslims are terrorists) and genuinely believes the world would be a better place with them dead. Biden is continuing to support Israel, but using that support as influence to get them to stop or slow down. Trump would be using that influence to encourage them.

And those are the two choices. Someone who is trying to curb the genocide, and someone who actively supports it.

I really hope you can see the significant and substantial difference between those two positions.

But let's say that you're right and Biden's policy towards Israel and Palestine is every bit as bad as Trump's would be. If there was nothing to choose between them on foreign policy grounds, there would still be a shitton to choose between them on domestic policy grounds. You admit that the right wants to kill your friends, and yet you don't seem to think that stopping them from killing your friends might be a good thing to do.

"We can't save Palestinians, so we might as well let Republicans destroy the rights, lives, and futures of LGBTQ+ people, women, people of color, people with disabilities, poor people, non-Christians, and anyone else they don't like." "We can't save Palestinians, so why bother to try to save the people we might actually be able to save." "We can't save Palestinians right now, so there's no point in trying to build up a longer-term political bloc that might drag US politics to the left over the long run."

Do you get why there's a problem with that line of thought?

[alotofpockets]

The cat distribution system | Lucy Bronze x Reader

Where you find a stray kitten and try to convince your girlfriend to keep it.

Woso masterlist | Words: 1.1k

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You have seen plenty of “the cat distribution system” videos on your tiktok, people finding stray cats, or rather stray cats finding their people. Every time you saw one, you would show it to Lucy. Your wife was a dog person, while you were a cat person. So, where you thought the cute part was the cats, Lucy thought the cute part was your excitement.

Never had you thought that one day the cat distribution system would distribute a cat to you, but then on your morning run you saw something moving out of the corner of your eye. You slowed your run to check it out, and couldn't believe your eyes when it was a little orange tabby kitten.

Its meows were soft but high pitched as you knelt down beside it. “Hi little buddy, what are you doing out here all on your own?” Your heart melted at the way the kitten nudged its head into your hand. After a few careful pets, you lifted up the kitten and cuddled it close to your body. It instantly nestled into your warmth, and your heart melted even more.

“Let’s see if you have any friends around, little buddy.” You looked around the general area, but weren’t finding any sign of the kitten's parents or siblings. “Looks like you’re coming home with me for a bit.” 

You abandoned your morning run entirely, and went straight home. In your home office you set up some space for the little kitten. Some soft blankets, a bowl of water, and some cat food you got from your neighbours. 

On the other side of your office door Narla was busy sniffing around, trying to figure out what this new scent in your home was. “Oh hi sweetheart, I’ve brought a friend with me. I will introduce you two later.” You said while petting your dog. 

“Who did you bring with you?” Lucy’s curious voice sounded from the front door. You rush to hug your wife, as does Narla. “Hi baby, how was training?” She pecks your lips before she kneels down to pet Narla. “Training was good. Are you going to tell me who you brought with you or are we just completely ignoring that you just said that?” Your wife said with a smirk, fully knowing your tactics.

“You know how I always show you those videos of people finding stray cats?” Lucy’s eyes widened. “You did not.” 

“I did. It’s in my office.” Before Lucy could say something you continued. “It was out there all on its own, and it was cold. I took it with me to warm up, and was hoping you would come to the vet with me to check if it has a chip or something.” 

Lucy agreed and drove you to the vet right away. You sat in the passenger seat with the little kitten asleep in your arms, Lucy wouldn’t admit it to your face, but the moment warmed her heart. At the vet, they checked for a chip, and did not find one. Besides that they also did a full work up, it was a boy, and besides being a little underfed he was fine. The doctor gave the two of you a moment.

“Luce we can’t just leave it here and let him go to the animal shelter. Can we please take him home and find a proper placement for him ourselves? I want him to find a good home.” With your best puppy dog eyes you managed to convince her. When you told the vet, he sent you home with some supplies, after giving the kitten a vaccination.

It had been a couple of days since you had taken in the little kitten. Lucy had made you promise to not name the kitten, because you would get too attached. So of course you didn’t name it… outloud. In your head you had given the kitten a name the moment you decided to take it back home from the vet, little Toby Bronze.

Lucy had been kind of standoff-ish with Toby, but you didn’t expect anything else from your dog loving wife. That’s why you were surprised to find Toby cuddled up in your wife’s arms as they had both fallen asleep on the couch. You quickly snap a picture, mainly because the sight was adorable, but also for leverage. 

You had fully fallen for the tiny kitten, and it wasn’t until now that you had the slight hope that maybe Lucy had fallen for him too. There already wasn’t the argument that Narla wouldn’t get along with him, because they had been running around in your living room together from the moment you introduced the two of them together. 

At first you wanted to ask Lucy if you could keep Toby right away, but you thought it was best to give her some more time to bond with the kitten. You had been in charge of finding a new home for the kitten, but you had stopped responding to people who were interested in hopes of keeping Toby in your own home.

The one eventing you were laying cuddled into Lucy’s side on the couch, your head resting on her shoulder while a movie played on the TV. Narla was softly snoring with her head laying in Lucy’s lap. You heard the tiny taps of Toby’s feet coming closer, and smiled to yourself as you felt him jump onto the couch besides you. He found his place in your lap, walked in a couple of circles, and sat down. 

All of you sitting on the couch, was like your little family was complete for the time being. Both wanting kids in the future, but now your loved fluff balls were your family, and you loved it. Lucy reached out her hand and gave Toby a few pets over his head.

“You know, I’ve really enjoyed having him around.” Your focus on the movie was instantly shattered, was she saying what you thought she was saying. “What would you say we give him a forever home?” Tears welled in your eyes with excitement. “Really Luce?” 

She smiled and pecked your lips. “Really.” You hugged her tight, careful not to squish Narla and Toby. When you leaned back into her side to continue the movie Lucy said, “So what have you been calling him?” Of course she had known all along that you would get attached to the little orange tabby from the start. 

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[cowboyjen68]

hey cowboy jen! im sure you get this question a lot but do you have any advice for a baby butch looking to present more masculinely? im so much happier when i feel more masculine, but no matter hard i try i feel like i always look too femme for my liking. any tips?

Don't make yourself smaller in the presence of others. We are sometimes conditioned to shrink in and move aside. Stand tall and look people in the eye as you nod hello or acknowledge you see them. Don't pull your shoulders in when passing people or walking in a crown. I am not saying be a "bull in a China shop" in a group of people but don't be the one who pulls your body in. This eventually seems to come naturally to butches once we shake off the need to make ourselves less seen.

Start with boxers or boxer briefs as underwear. It is the weirdest advice I was given from an older butch and she spot on. Shrugging off the bikini underwear with flowers did wonders to make me feel more attractive and confident as a butch.

Shop at farm supply stores or check out old man fashion at estate sales and thrift shops. You can find unique and fun clothing for less until you find a style you love.

Lastly, don't worry about what others think. As a butch you will get perceived as masculine no matter what. While butch is how we are perceived in many aspects it is also how we move in the world and relate to women. So enjoy opening doors, making women smile and feel safe and your butch confidence will get stronger all the time.

[essektheylyss]

for the ask game: 🧡🖤💚

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

Until I see definitive proof that Ludinus is in fact as old as he wants people to believe he is, I will not believe it. I don't even really have an opinion on how old he is; I just don't think he's as old as he tries to suggest. And lest it be said that I am playing favorites, the thing about Ludinus is that he talks the way Essek talks in 91—and there are a lot of things Essek says at that dinner that I take with a good heaping of salt. It's this sense that they're talking around things that they would rather people not question; they're both very skilled at talking around things in a way where they aren't outright lying, but they'd rather you not think too hard about it because there's shit they're not saying. To be clear I also won't be mad if there does turn out to be some evidence in canon that he is that old, but thus far, there is nothing definitive, and I do not take the word of unreliable NPCs at face value.

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

I don't think this is really an unpopular opinion at this point, but Jester. Nice =/= good. I don't think she's evil, by any means! But her morality is a lot more complex than it's given credit for and I think it's one of the things that is most interesting about her. I'd actually consider her largely amoral; it's just not really an axis of consideration that she worries about. She doesn't want people to hurt her or her friends and she doesn't want something to destroy the world, but otherwise she doesn't really care much about what someone's morality is. "Just don't be evil to me" is an incredible sentiment for a reason. She cares more that Essek said they were his friends than the fact that he's the traitor they've been looking for. Ludinus is so insignificant to her despite his literally world-spanning evil plots that she has basically forgotten him six years later, even though two members of her friend group have spent the last six years trying to pin him down. Jester is hilariously amoral and I love that for her.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

[cracks knuckles] OKAY, this is where I've got receipts, because hooo boy do I have an opinion and I will be proving it.

Essek does not have an opinion on the Prime Deities. He does not really have much of an opinion on religion. He actually does not by the end of the campaign have any real issue with the Luxon, and frankly he primarily expressed issue with the Dynasty's worship because, until he got to Aeor, he wasn't certain that the Luxon was a real entity at all—which he contrasts against the Prime Deities, in fact!—and he seems to believe there is compelling evidence in Aeor that categorically disproves his hypothesis that the beacons are simply constructed Age of Arcanum devices.

Originally he is mostly concerned that the Luxon religion is used as a "crutch" which is "distracting them from what other good things they could do with the time and focus". He does specify that any religion can be used as such, but he only remarks upon the one he knows. His theory about the beacons, as of episode 91, is that they may be "artifacts designed in the Age of Arcanum that have been misread" that could be put to even further use.

He also does parrot the Dynasty party line in their first meeting about the Luxon being "the basis of how we've been able to free ourselves from the binds of the lineage the Betrayer Gods left for us", and while I do not take him at face value here (see the above commentary about unreliable NPCs), I doubt the truth of this statement is lost on him, considering his familial connections to Bazzoxan, which I can only imagine would not exactly endear one to the Betrayers, though this is only conjecture. If we do care to take him at his word here, it's not unreasonable, since he obviously has a lot more interest in the power offered by the beacons than anything else.

With all that being said, his tune on the Luxon itself has at least changed by the time they get to Aeor. He discusses iconography found in Aeor and when prompted by the Nein about whether the beacons were created by mortals, says, "I do not believe that they are made by anyone but the Luxon. They are of the Luxon. But they've been around since the Luxon's been in Exandria, which is the beginning."

So we started with him largely apathetic to religion, uncertain if this god was real, and by the time we circle back to him, he has now sided fairly definitively with the fact that the Luxon is an entity that has been around since at least the Founding. (For those keeping track at home, this is longer than Predathos has been around. In the Dynasty's creation myth, it may also have been around before the Prime Deities arrived, which is technically not incompatible with the creation myth of Exandria at large, but I digress.) Like most of Exandria, and as is perfectly reasonable for both his culture and his region, he probably doesn't have any love for the Betrayer Gods, but doesn't express much opinion if any on the Prime Deities. He has no time for religion, but frankly, he doesn't have time for much except for his own research, so it's hard to really ascribe any noted contempt to that.

Like, look, I've written plenty of religious trauma Essek fic, and I don't doubt that that element of it exists, but overall, in terms of canonical statements, it's pretty tame.

With that being said, I do want to fast forward a bit to draw attention to something else. Because I actually do think he ends the campaign with some measure of respect for, at the very least, the Wildmother.

In 140 after the Raise Dead fails, he talks briefly with Fjord about the unfairness of it. Fjord passively directs him to "if you were to ask my wise friend Caduceus..." Immediately after this exchange, Essek challenges Caleb to not accept defeat, and admits he wishes there was more that he or any of them could do, but concedes that, "Unfortunately, this type of magic is beyond my purview."

Immediately after this exchange, Caduceus asks for divine intervention.

Of course, he then spends several weeks gardening in a temple to the Wildmother, and seems to find some genuine clarity and perspective there, but I think this alone is enough to argue that, for a person as driven by empirical evidence as Essek, this sequence of events in 140 would be plenty to earn a wizard's respect.

So my formal belief is that Essek is not in fact anti-god or anti-religion, let alone against the Prime Deities. My opinion is that it's very easy to imagine him on his post-campaign travels leaving a small offering at any shrine of Melora he might pass, not out of actual worship but as a sign of respect.

[forbebeandjam]

Kiss & Makeup | Bada Lee x Fem Reader | Fluff

Summary: You’re tired of chasing after her but she doesn’t want to give you up.

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: mild cursing and make out.

A/N: Currently thinking about a part 2 smut for this one. What do you guys think?

"Wait! Bada wait!" You yelled as you chased after her. Your short legs were unable to catch up to her as she walked down the hall.

"Bada! Shit!" You said as she shut the door to the hideout. You never understood Bada. She hired you as her personal makeup artist three years ago and her attitude suddenly changed in the last few days.

You had to stay next to her throughout the filming of Street Woman Fighter 2 and it was draining.

Due to this, you knew about all of her deepest and darkest secrets. You knew that the relationship with her boyfriend was slowly crumbling away and maybe that's why her mood was changing.

Maybe that was the reason why she has been so mean and angry towards you. Because she knew she couldn't take it out on anyone else. And to be fully honest, you were tired of it.

Every time during touch-ups, she would be on her phone talking, or more like shouting, with her boyfriend about something. Whether it was about time, skills, cheating, or whatever other stupid things, you would hear it all.

So you had just come back from an agonizing fight. You had a pounding headache and you hadn't finished touching up her makeup since she decided to storm off. You sighed and leaned on the wall.

"Bada giving you a hard time again?" You heard a voice and your head snapped to where it came from. There you found Redy leaning against the wall as well with a sweet smile.

You were destined to have the same path but you gave up dancing for your family and you don't regret it since you always had Redy next to you to support your career and goals.

"Yeah. I don't blame her but I'm tired. I can't keep running around trying to get her ready for the camera if she doesn't let me," you said trying to fix up the makeup bag you had on your hand.

"Give her some time. Maybe she's just stressed," Redy said as she helped you put your things in order.

"But everyone here is stressed and not everyone treats me like that. I even do Jam's makeup sometimes and they are under more pressure but they are always nice. BEBE is nice to me as well so I just don't get why she's such an ass," you said causing Redy to chuckle.

"We all express ourselves differently. Is there something you do when she's feeling this way that might trigger her?" She asked.

"No... well... I try to get her mind off things by explaining what I'm doing and showing her the products but that doesn't change the fact that she's rude," you said.

"Ah~ I get it. I think she-"

"Y/N, can you come to touch up my makeup now?" You heard Bada's voice filled with sadness.

"Well, I have to go but I'll see you around," Redy said quickly getting up and walking away. You sighed and hung the bag around your shoulder to walk towards her.

You walked into the hideout and started patting away on her face using your brushes to accentuate her eyes and lips. You added a shadow to her beauty mark to make it pop and carefully curled her lashes with a hot wooden stick.

Suddenly you felt her grab your arm. You panicked thinking you had burned her.

"I'm sorry! Did I burn you? let me see," you panicked looking for aloe gel but she shook her head as she stood up.

"Why are you so quiet today?" She said with her raspy voice.

"Well, I just figured you weren't feeling well so for once I decided to give you some silence. I am also not feeling too well," you said.

"How come you were so chatty with Redy? You even called me an asshole. So, what is it?" Bada asked once more not letting go of your hand.

You dropped the brush as you felt her grip tightened around your wrist.

"Bada, let go. Now I have to wash and disinfect the brush," just as you were about to bend down to pick up the brush, she managed to pull you back up and pull you into her chest.

"Why are you so indifferent towards me?" She said.

"I'm not! Im just tired, okay?" You said as you pulled your wrist away and picked up the brush. You began to gather your things but paused in the process.

Maybe it was time to open up to her. Maybe it was time you told her how you really felt about her.

"I'm tired of always listening to your fights with your boyfriend. I'm tired of having to pick up the pieces. I am tired of having to deal with your attitude when you fight with him. I'm tired of chasing after you. I always have. In middle and high school, when we danced in the same crew, even when I graduated beauty school, I chose to be around you and I'm tired, Bada. I don't deserve this," you said as you closed your bag and swung it over your shoulder.

"I broke up with him," she said and you froze in your spot.

"Why are you telling me this?" You said as you looked through your bag for your car keys.

"You said you've been chasing me and I have to admit that I have been running away. I have been too scared and blind to see that through all my struggles you were right next to me. And you were right. I have been an asshole to you, and no matter how many times I push you away to not hurt you, you are still here. Why?" She asked this time. You felt her walking closer to you.

"Bada, let's not do this right now. you have to be on in fifty minutes and I really don't want you to be distracted," you said swallowing the true words you wanted to say.

She didn't say anything else and you made your way to your car. You knew she wouldn't follow you and you didn't expect her to. You planned to quit which was not your best option. You had no experience outside of being Bada's makeup artist and you were sure she wouldn't vouch for you if you found a new job.

Your thoughts were that she probably enjoyed having you behind her like a lost puppy. Or maybe she really liked your company but whatever it was, you didn't think your heart could take it any longer.

You couldn't believe that after all of these years, she had been so blind to your feelings. To the crazy love you have for her. How could she not see it after fighting your way through beauty school just to be her personal makeup artist?

You bit your lip as the tears threatened to escape your eyes. You couldn't cry. You refused to let anyone see you cry. You started your car and as you were about to drive, you saw a figure stand right in front of your car making you abruptly hit the brakes.

"What is wrong with you!?" You shouted as you honked at the dark figure before you. Suddenly they got in your car and took their hood. It was Bada.

"What are you doing!? I could've killed you. You need to be on that stage!" You said as you hit her arm.

"I don't go on yet. I have thirty minutes but I can't let you go like this. Don't walk away from me. I can't go onstage without you. I need you," she said as she gripped your arm. Her voice was filled with sincerity and her eyes were as teary as yours a few moments ago.

"What about what I need? It's hard enough having to deal with your nagging and attitude. You're never there for me," you said.

"Then let me be. Let me show you that I can be there for you. Let's start over again. Please stay," she said. You couldn't handle it. You were scared she was just messing with you again and the moment you gave in would all be the same.

"Bada don't do that," your last words come out as a sigh. You still refused to face her.

"Do what?" She said softly and you sighed once more in frustration. Turned to her harshly.

"Don't give me false hope. You will never see me the way I have seen you for all these years, Bada and it hurts, okay? It hurts to know that you will never love me the way I love-" Your words were cut short when she grabbed your head and planted her lips on yours.

A million thoughts and emotions rush through your body, making it difficult for you to process what is happening. Your heart was pounding fast and you were scared she might be able to hear it.

But that all went away.

It melted away when she moved her lips. You melted into her arms and moved your lips in sync with hers. Her tongue ran through your bottom lip asking for access that you gladly granted.

Your tongues massaged each other and you finally decided to break the kiss as you gasped for air. She connected your foreheads with her not letting go of your face. You could see a small tear escape her eye.

You two shared a moment of stillness when she suddenly kissed your cheek. She placed a soft peck on your nose, your forehead, your chin, and then your lips.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for making you suffer like this. I'm sorry I made you cry and tried to push you away. I'm sorry I used you for my own selfish reasons but... I can't live without you. Don't leave. I can't go on that stage without you," she had you in a warm embrace by this time and you were speechless.

"I have always loved you but I thought my life would only affect your career path. Then you came back to me and I was heartbroken when I saw you look at me dance with a wide smile on your face. I knew how much you wanted to be on stage with me. Please let me love you," she said not letting go of you.

Your soft sobs began to fill the car and she just held you tightly until your cries died down. She slowly broke away from the hug to ensure you were okay.

"Am I dreaming?" You said as you sniffled making her chuckle.

"It's all real. See? It's real," she said as she grabbed your hands and placed them on her face while she kissed them.

"Can you please stay?" She asked one more time. You felt a heavy weight lift off your shoulders. A huge smile was painted across your face and she kissed your tear-stained cheeks.

"I'll stay," you said and a warm smile adorned her face. You two shared a moment till a loud knock interrupted the silence.

"Bada, we need to go now. Share your lovey-dovey moment later!" Tatter said immediately when you rolled down your window.

The three of you quickly rushed to the stage and you tried to fix Bada's smudged lips and your own eye makeup.

That night you saw Bada shine on the stage like never before. Her charisma and smile were radiating and her energy was through the roof all because of you, defeating the opposing team.

After Daniel announced the winner, she blew a kiss at you not caring if there were fans or cameras around. She was finally the happiest she could ever be and she was determined to make you the happier you could ever be, by her side.

Thank you for reading and let me know if want a part 2🩵

[radioisntdead]

Just thought about this, but could I request a platonic ask with the Hazbin Crew (or just Charlie and Vaggie) with a frankenstein-esque sinner reader? Stitches all over their limbs, mismatched and it’s a common sight to see their limbs falling off their body and they only sigh before picking it back up?

They’re very nice, just tired and getting fed up/disgruntled with their own body and how it’s scarred, mismatched and always falling apart.

Good evening my dear! I wasn't too sure how to make this into a full oneshot so I made it into headcanons hopefully that's alright!

I actually have a OC very similar to this however she's a ragdoll so taking inspo from that

Hazbin hotel x gn! reader [platonic]

Warnings:

Limbs falling off, Alastor stealing arms

The first time they witnessed you lose a limb it freaked the majority of them out [Alastor only widened his grin because he's creepy like that]

The lot of you were just hanging out and doing a trust fall exercise and poor Sir Pentious was the one to catch you, he was not expecting your limb to just come straight off, like he was holding you and your arm was beside you on the floor.

And you just causally sighed and wiggled out of a panicking Sir Pentious's arms and grabbed your arm grumbling about having to sew it back on.

I imagine you may have to sometimes reinforce certain parts because sometimes you just go running and SNAP the stitches on your leg becomes undone and your face meets the ground.

There's a sewing kit almost anywhere in the hotel for you to use in emergencies,

Niffty is skilled with sewing so I imagine if you let her and don't mind getting stabbed a couple times she'd sew you right up in mere seconds, I imagine if you don't mind melding fabric to your skin she'll sew on fabrics with pretty patterns on, maybe it'll make you feel better about your loose limbs.

Angel dust LOVES coming up with nicknames for you, Frankie, Patches, Frankenstein's long lost child, patchwork, ragdoll etc etc

I'm gonna be honest Alastor probably tries to munch on your fallen limbs, I can see him grabbing your fallen arm and booking it out of there while you chase after him yelling for Vaggie to do something.

Vaggie gets your limbs back

Going off the fabrics if your okay with that going on your skin Charlie definitely buys some for you as a surprise, she'll ask Vaggie on whether or not she thinks you'd like a certain fabric patch.

I think having a bunch of patches gifted to you by loved ones is a nice thought, we adapt habits, traits, mannerisms etc etc from people we love and the people that love us sometimes adapt our habits, traits, mannerisms etc etc from us, we're a lovely mashup of ourselves and the people we love.

I imagine Sir Pentious would build something to help keep your limbs together, like a brace or a prosthetic covering of sorts?

Alastor gives you a patch and it's just arm themed, he probably steals your limbs like five times in a week,

"DAMN IT AL, THAT'S THE FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK STOP."

"no"

You have to get Vaggie to help you retrieve your limbs before Alastor makes your arm into an arm pot pie or something.

Husk would help you with carrying anything super heavy, particularly if it's alcohol because he is NOT risking your arms ripping off and no more drunky tipsy times [I can't legally drink I don't know how it works and I don't wanna know.]

Whenever Charlie asks for a hand and your arm has been detached you hand her your arm, freaks her out for a second before she's just like "Haha very funny please don't do that again"

Charlie definitely works on making sure your comfortable in the hotel, if you're ever insecure about your scars she'll take a pen or something and doodle around them.

Honestly Charlie probably thinks your mismatched patches look cool and you remind her of a plushie she had as a child,

If your filled with cotton like a plushie do expect hugs.

Good evening folks! I am making my way through requests! Plus the part two to Too sweet and Eldritch horror reader's backstory [EVIL LAUGHING] will be out soon!

[hadesoftheladies]

too many people view (uncritically, esp when it comes to feminism) separatism as this isolating, individualistic thing where people who don't want to participate just pack their bags and move to a far off country. that isn't what it is at all.

separatism is about re-centering the individuals of a certain community so as to strengthen the community. so that a community focuses its energy and resources on itself rather than on outsiders. it is, quite literally, about building and expanding community. it's not merely about escaping men or banning men, it is about relying on women, building a community of women, centering women, making it so that women are not dependent on men because women got them. you see how that's qualitatively different right?

like it's not so much about cutting off your father or brothers, but about spending deliberately more time fortifying your relationships with other women in your life. whether helping them out financially, donating books, giving advice, buying their stuff, giving energy.

when it comes to revolution of any kind, they die quickly without a strong sense and presence of community.

one of the biggest wrenches patriarchy has thrown into women's liberation is poisoning female community. consciousness-raising is difficult because every new generation of women is cut off from the one preceding it. younger girls are taught to resent women and view women with suspicion. they are male-centric in that they believe males will protect, love, provide for and cherish them only to have a rude awakening sooner or later.

bridging that disconnect is going to take practicing varying degrees of separatism. for sharing of knowledge between women and girls is hampered by male presence. you've all seen this happen. when a man or boy enters the picture, conversation between women is crippled. we start censoring ourselves.

censorship is a huge issue feminists face at every turn, and it's worse because we experience this censorship not just via government or public forums where men are in charge, but in our interpersonal relationships. and not just in our interpersonal relationships, but by our own selves. only female community brings out the honesty in us and gives us the courage to speak out and think freely. we all know this.

separatism is not only imperative to women's health, it is imperative to consciousness raising. it's not about living in a male free utopia but about centering women in all things so that women's community is strengthened and prepared to take on their oppressors and patriarchal society (and so that it survives retaliations). girls don't need to be totally isolated from males. they need to have predominantly female (not feminine) influence in their lives. they need to be in a place where they do not depend on males or cater to them. they need to be female-centric. learning female-philosophy and perpetuating authentic female culture.

that's separatism.

and the good news is that feminists are not the first oppressed group to employ separatism. black liberation movements employ this as well and are strengthened when they do. it's how they won some of their most vicious battles. lgb communities also utilize(d) separatism and it strengthened their communities. they had to de-center the narratives of their oppressors and rely on each other instead of begging their oppressors for scraps. they won because they gave themselves to each other as a community.

separatism works. over and over again. liberation takes time, but it has always needed separatism.

i just keep thinking about how communities can disrupt and change society, y'know? like how even in the throes of capitalistic/imperialist/white supremacist greed, small communities find a way to take care of each other financially and physically. culture predates economy, even while economy can beget culture or poison it. i love how small communities can just say "fuck you" to the presiding ruler and create within themselves micro-economies to keep each other alive. economy is just, after all, a social agreement/condition.

women are the ones who will liberate women. keep investing in that and it'll pay off.

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

kevin

kevin was a familiar sort of man for annie, as a therapist. he was a well-off businessman, powerful in his own kingdom, good at navigating life with a hot and crazy wife, and who had a hard time making sense of his teenage daughter.

she liked talking to him. he was a good talker, funny, and more than willing to share lots of explicit details. he told her about realizing early in his marriage he had to make time to really pound the shit out of his wife in bed every morning to keep her in a good mood all day. he told her he'd learned that his wife would always ask for him to cum inside her, but in reality she preferred it when he came all over her, making a mess of her that she had to take some time to clean up. annie could tell that kevin clocked the way annie was shifting in her seat as he told her this -- she was wet and he knew it. but he didn't comment on it. he told her he and his wife rarely had sex at night when their daughter was young, but how he'd learned to notice when she'd trimmed her pubic hair down to almost nothing it was a signal she wanted to make time to have an evening fuck, too.

"is your wife a naked around the house kind of woman?"

"yes," he said, smiling. "i wouldn't have it any other way. of course, now my daughter is that way too."

"really?" annie said. "she doesn't cover herself up around you?"

"no," he said. "i see everything."

"that's a sign of trust," annie said. "trust and confidence."

"it's funny though," he said. "you know, when my wife is all trimmed up that's a good sign. but i like it when the opposite is true with sienna."

"you like when she's not shaved because that means she's not having sex with anyone?"

he laughed. "yeah. is that awful? patriarchal and awful?"

"no," annie said. "i mean, most girls sort of like a sense of possessiveness."

"even from their fathers?"

"especially," annie said. "but also, it doesn't mean she's having sex for sure."

"what else would it be for?" he asked.

"just being horny," she said. "you know, we tend to focus on that part of ourselves when we're using it a lot. even just by ourselves."

"do women do that a lot?" he asked. "i mean, seriously. i know my wife does it but she never admits to it."

"that's funny," annie said. "i always thought that was a stereotype."

"women who don't admit to masturbating?"

"yeah," annie said. "i have always been upfront with my partners about it."

"i'm sure men like that," he said.

"especially when you tell them you jerked off before a date so you wouldn't immediately jump their bones," she said.

kevin grinned. "you're way more fun than the average therapist," he said. "and prettier." he coughed nervously. "sorry."

"it's fine," annie said. "i mean, i don't mind being told i'm pretty."

"how often do women jerk off then?" he asked.

"i do it every day," annie said. "sometimes a few times. i did it this morning in bed, and i have an hour before my next session, and i will probably do it again."

"in here?" he said.

"on that couch," annie grinned.

"you have touched yourself on this couch?"

"i've had sex on that couch," she said.

he patted the couch appreciatively. "nice."

annie laughed.

"people talk about sex in here a lot," he observed.

"yes," she said.

"how often do you get turned on during sessions?"

annie laughed. "pretty often."

"that's not only exciting but just kind of... it feels like proof that you're listening."

"i'm glad you see it that way," annie said.

as they wound down their session, kevin said, "i guess you want to get me out of here so you can... you know."

"do a little DJing?" annie joked.

he laughed. "yes," he said. "i mean, i'd gladly stick around..."

"you can," she said.

"really?" he said, surprised that his joking-but-not-joking cover had actually worked.

"sure," annie said. "we're off the clock. you want to watch me touch myself?"

"very much," he said.

annie decided to be fairly reserved -- she took off her skirt but left on her panties, which were here fairly standard white cotton bikini briefs, and sat in her chair and reached in and started touching herself. kevin stared.

"do you like to be watched?" he asked.

"yes," she moaned.

"will you take off your panties for me?" he asked.

"okay," she said. she slipped them off and tossed them toward her desk. he looked at her bald pussy and grinned. "perfect," he said.

annie was working herself up pretty rapidly. "i'm gonna cum," she told him.

"good girl," he said.

annie yelped as she climaxed. she convulsed a little in her chair and then collapsed and licked her fingers.

"will you think of me differently now?" she asked him.

he thought about it. "no," he said. "as soon as i met you, i pictured you doing that kind of thing. and worse."

"like what?" she asked, smiling.

"like taking my cock up your ass."

annie grinned. "straight up my ass huh? not even gonna lick a girl's pussy first?"

"nope," he said, "right up your ass whether you like it or not."

annie held her tongue. she was going to ask for it, but thought she might better enjoy the road where she didn't give permission.

"you should get out of my office before you do something you regret," she said.

she got up and walked toward her desk to get her underwear. he followed her, and bent her over the desk. annie gasped as she hit the wood.

"shut the fuck up," he told her, pulling out his cock and pushing it into her.

she wasn't ready of course. she liked that she wasn't ready. it fucking hurt. he pounded her ass for 30 exquisitely brutal seconds, cumming somewhere in the middle of it. then he pulled out and pulled his cock away. annie never even saw it. she fell to the floor. he left her office immediately.

[tommykinard6]

I don't mean to pile onto your bad day but I've been seeing a lot of creators on tiktok complain/compare the bucktommy and henren tags/fic count on ao3 because there's almost more bucktommy fics then there are henren fics. The number one claim is always that bucktommy writers are racist because we don't write for henren. But like, that's not correct at all? People can write fanfiction for whatever they want to. If they want to see more henren stuff then they can write it on their own.

We can coexist without fighting each other. I'm just tired of people screaming about how bucktommy is anti this or anti that, when we're just vibing by ourselves and don't want the drama but the drama finds us anyway because Sucky People are loud and get heard the most.

You’re good, anon. It actually gave me something to think about during work.

As a quick disclaimer, before we begin, I’m not a POC. I am not speaking for anyone in the Black community and am not attempting to speak over them. My following thoughts are as a queer woman-ish who is also a writer.

I think it must be noted that Hen and Karen have been overlooked since day one. The fact that Buck coming out made it the “gay firefighter show” when we’ve had a beautiful canonical lesbian couple since the very beginning? Is only proof. Is this proof of racism in the fandom? Maybe. Quite possibly. I would argue that it comes from a misogynistic point as well.

If you look in any fandom, regardless of the color of their skin, any wlw ship is horribly overlooked. I’ve done some tag searching on ao3. Straight and mlm ships battle for dominance while there are canonical and fanonical wlw ships that have a drastic difference in numbers. This isn’t a good thing. But it’s an experience that spans fandoms.

I find it sad that BuckTommy has almost more fics, with only two episodes under their belt, than Henren with 7 seasons. However, this isn’t a reason to hate on BuckTommy. The ship didn’t do anything wrong. Comparison is the thief of joy and it’s also rage bait. I think that some creators simply are using anything they can to hate on BuckTommy. Which that makes it sadder, that they aren’t concerned about Henren other than pushing their own agenda.

This isn’t to say all creators who are speaking about this are doing this, but I guarantee some are.

Now, let me speak as a writer.

As someone with 62 published fics on ao3, I write almost exclusively mlm ships. This isn’t because I hate women. And as a queer woman-ish, don’t even start about homophobia. But for some reason, I find it so much easier to write men than I do to write women. This is true for straight and wlw ships and also just in general. I love Henren, but I don’t have the faintest idea about how to write them.

It’s hard enough to write as it is and I’m already writing on ships that are easy for me. I try to write women and it just hasn’t come out right. I want to challenge myself, branch out, and maybe I’ll write for Henren to do that. But I say all this to point out that for some people like me, writing some ships and demographics of ships are just a little more difficult.

That leads me into something else.

I, as a white person, worry about accidentally writing non-white characters wrong. And this was reinforced not too long ago when we had that whole thing on ao3 with deliberate racism in 9-1-1 fics. If anyone has resources or advice for writing non-white characters, I would love to hear that! The last thing I want to do is cause any harm.

I feel like I’ve spoken a lot about me, but that’s because I can’t really speak for anyone else. I can only speak from my experience.

We already have a ship war between BuckTommy and Buddie. We don’t need to pit more people against each other. I think we can love BuckTommy while agreeing that Henren needs to be seen and appreciated and treated equally.

End note to say: I tried to speak as delicately and as sensitively as I could, but if anything came out wrong, please feel free to point it out (kindly). Again, I speak for no one but my very little section of the world. I’m interested to hear what people of other backgrounds have to add!

[sillygoofyqueer]

Unnecessary Underworld Saga thing that nobody asked for ever:

The Underworld:

- Warning the others immediately, thinking of them with everything going on

- Echoes and screams are all he can think of, talking about nightmares, haunted by his choices especially in the underworld

- All the men under his command, screaming his name, guilt, echoing Poseidon's words

- The idea that all of the men that died due to Poseidon are still screaming his name in hopes that he will safe them because he always painted himself as the rock of the army

- The anger they feel for his mercy of the Cyclops that led to their deaths, permeated with the helpless, desperate confusion of why their lives weren't as important as that of the Cyclops

- The fact that Odysseus managed to get all of them through the war but they died because of the decision he made to spare the Cyclops, meaning that if he hadn't chosen mercy they would have more likely still been alive

- Poseidon was right to say ruthlessness was mercy upon yourself, because then one does not have to feel the guilt if their choice of mercy was wrong, which is how Odysseus feels

- Can't even close his eyes to escape, because they're all around him

- Thinks of the infant he had to kill, guilt eating away at him - we ourselves cannot hear the infant because it was unable to even speak, so we hear it from Odysseus' own mouth, highlighting the remorse and guilt he feels for that one specifically

- Immediately hit with Polites right after his admission, the helpless way he says his best friend's name

- The soft way the music switches with this, emphasising the remorse and grief that comes with hearing Polites' voice

- The fact that the song is Polites talking about how amazing life is when one lets themself enjoy it, and it's a soft memory, because Polites was Odysseus' best friend, and Odysseus was (in his opinion) the cause of Polite's death.

- The idea that Odysseus lost sight of his best friend's advice, too lost in the war and caring about the others around him.

- The way Odysseus whispers Polites' name after hearing his echoey song, the pain in his voice at the loss of his best friend

- The small moment of silence before one hears that voice, the word 'waiting', and the surprised recognition in Odysseus' voice because he hadn't expected to hear it in this place of death

- His mother, who was always waiting the moment he left, who he didn't know had died and probably wouldn't until he had made it back home

- The idea that his mother was adamant on not dying until she saw her son again, and the pain that Odysseus feels as he whispers about 'taking too long'

- The pain in his voice as he murmurs 'mum' because he genuinely is shocked that she's here and he cannot comprehend that he wasn't back in time to see his mother

- How his mother must have felt on her deathbed, knowing that she wouldn't be able to see her son one last time before she died

- The gentle, almost hopeful melody that represents her hope that she would see her son again after the war was over, and the pain in Odysseus because he knows that he wasn't back in time to be there for her

- The fact that he still tries to soothe his mother even though he knows that she's gone and can't hear him, trying to reach out and tell her that he is there, even if he wasn't there when it was truly important

- More guilt as he realises that he will never see his mother because he took too long and went too far, the idea of the child leaving the mother's sight and never seeing her again

- The harmonising and repeating of 'waiting' from Odysseus, because now he will be the one waiting to see her again across life, and her still waiting for her son even in death, reassuring him that she will always love him despite everything

- The pause of the ocean and the sound of the boat moving as the voice fades out, leaving Odysseus with just his thoughts, the pain in his voice as he murmurs his last ever goodbye to his mother, and she can't even hear him

- The sharp rise in screams and the way that Odysseus screams the next lines, emphasising the guilt and anguish he's feeling through this journey, can't escape

- The fact that the others harmonise, because they must be seeing their own things as well, because they have been through so much as well -> What are they seeing that Odysseus isn't?

No Longer You:

- The prophet greeting them, because he knew they were coming, sounding solemn as he sings gracefully

- Solemn as he explains that there is a world where he does help Odysseus and his crew, but that is not a world that he knows, meaning he won't help them

- The confusion and accusation in Odysseus' response of 'what'

- The prophet saying that he does see the way that Odysseus does get home, through betrayal and hardship, seeing how he dies, then ripping it all away with the fact that Odysseus is no longer that man

- Brings it back to “Keep Your Friends Close” when Odysseus tries to say that everything has changed but he is still the same, and the prophet taking away that small security he had

- The pain and anger in Odysseus' tone as he speaks of how they have suffered just to get help from the prophet, and now they're being told that he won't help them

- The prophet proclaiming of how he can see Odysseus' home bathed in the blood of the men who thought him dead (reference to the hundred suitors who stuck around Penelope during his absence) and the fact that he sees Penelope with a man (doesn't say the name of the man, describes him as having a trail of bodies, most likely Odysseus)

- The utter rage in Odysseus' voice as he cries "who", because how dare someone take the last thing he has left keeping him going and so determined to get home

- The idea that this opera is the screams finally getting to Odysseus

Monster:

- The confusion of how everything has changed highlighting that he genuinely didn't see it changing, which is why its such a shock: suffering never ceasing, everything turning against the well meaning soldiers

- The once determined Odysseus now helplessly asking how he could ever see Penelope and his son again, showing that he is at a loss of what to do after suffering so much

- Asking if he needs to change to make something happen, after all of the effort he put into trying to stay the same; the final barrier being broken

- Being surrounded by all those deaths he believes himself to be responsible for, wondering if they're there because he was so stubborn in trying not to change

- Crossing everyone's lines but his own, the guilt in that recognition and idea that he may be the greatest threat, suddenly doubting himself and his views, wondering if it was all his fault

- Literally questioning everything about himself, blaming himself and calling himself a monster even with all of the pain he himself has been through to try and keep everyone safe

- Questioning if he has been too kind to those trying to harm him, and wondering if that impacted on those he tried so valiantly to protect

- Wondering if the Cyclops ever feels guilty for his murders and mistakes, or if he killed a few of Odysseus' men to avenge his fallen friend and feel confident in himself (the supposed monster reacting better than Odysseus to avenge his friend -> “Remember Them” instead of avenging them like the Cyclops did)

- Wondering if Circe is insane for protecting her nymphs by turning men to pigs, or if she changed to be colder and less guilty just so her nymphs didn't have to and she could protect them better (The idea that Odysseus was unable to change to save his men but the supposed witch was able to to protect those she cared about)

- Wondering if Poseidon feels fear when he kills the mortals for disrespecting him, or if he does what is necessary to protect himself by killing them as a warning to those and gaining respect that he needs (The idea that Odysseus was too scared to stop dissent within the army that could have him killed, while the supposed tyrant god did what he had to to ensure that people knew the consequences of disrespecting him)

- Wondering if the soldier using a wooden horse to invade Troy was vile, or if he was willing to put his own guilt aside to save the lives of so many others (The idea that Odysseus was so determined to stick to his moral code that he let hundreds die for it, while the supposed villain was willing to put aside his own moral code to save hundreds)

- So called monsters being able to do what Odysseus should have done

- Questioning what would happen if Odysseus became one of those so called monsters, doing whatever necessary to return home to his wife and child, as well as save the lady few men that he has under his command

- Odysseus echoing Poseidon's words emphasising a change in views, finally understanding what the god meant when he told Odysseus what he did, changing a character and finally ready to do it

- Listing all those he lost because he was too scared to change because he didn't know what would happen to him if it happened, guilt permeating it because he wonders if they would still be alive if he had changed

- The idea of not seeing his wife and son being the final straw for Odysseus, what pushes him across the line and breaks the final string holding together his moral compass; he will do anything to see his family again, no matter the cost

- willing to throw away his humanity so that he can see his family and keep others from dying, even going as far as saying that he is willing to kill another infant if it means they can do this, willing to go up against any gods and monsters

- He is willing to become the monster, finally willing to change and twist himself into something that nobody will recognise after everything that has happened to him; literally throwing away his humanity, warping into something else (like Circe)

- Knowing that he must become the monster in order to go home, questioning what the fuck is wrong with becoming the monster, finally allowing himself to be a lot more selfish

- Selfishness for himself over selfishness of others ruined him, so he's saying fuck it

- The last jarring sting emphasising the change of our hero to something unpredictable and monstrous

[astroyongie]

Why Am I This Way - Psychology Answers

Note: One more <3 hope it helps guys

“How Am I” Section

“Why is it always me? Why does it always happen to me?”

What happens in the unconscious brain: 

thi is a question that we have all asked ourselves at least once in our life, but for some people with more pessimist self image and personality, this becomes recurrent and a defense whenever an event happens in their life

In psychology, this is a type of negative thought that comes from depressive symptomatology. it starts with “Bad things are always happening”, to “This happens only to me and never the others'' and finished with “it's probably my fault”

the person tends to have a very low self esteem and these thoughts quickly go from “It’s not that the world is a bad place, is that i am useless and cannot do things right”

this typeof thought really comes from the inner guilt, shame and depression

whereas the act of always blaming others and the world comes from underlying unconscious anger and injustice.

in these moments, feelings become so hard to process and often, we forget that we are people who can rationalize things

but of course everyone needs to go at their own pace

Damasio, showed that our brain is influenced strongly by emotions compared to rationality. we always process the emotions before (unless there’s an underlying condition in the prefrontal lobe that disturbs the emotional processing of the brain).

Thankfully, the pessimistic person is wrong. There's nothing wrong with them. it's simply your brain processing emotions first. now you have to simply embarrass those before rationalizing the event and engage in positive thinking 

if you are interested in more of this topics you can check the works of Martin Seligman, Antonio Damasio and Emmy Van Deurzen

So what can we do?

It seems totally stupid but trying to become more positive by shifting the way we think and slowly using that in our daily life.

So okay, something bad happened. instead of thinking “fuck, its my fault, i a useless, it halways happens to me”, try with “Okay this is a bad thing that happened, it makes me sad, but it also provides experience so i know what to do next time it happens”

By changing thought patterns into something more positive, you will be able to see your perception of the world change without the necessity of needing to be reborn again

Embrace life as it is

implies daring to welcome inevitable suffering, anxiety and guilt as an intrinsic part of existence

anxiety and guilt is something that will always accompany us in our life, but it motivate us to look deep inside of us in order to understand the authentic self and change into something more healthy

Now, you know where to work to become a better version of yourself 

[anti-endo-haven]

okay maybe it's weird take or this blog is wrong place to put this take but we just wanna give some support & reassurance for some systems.

some system things can & probably would be gross, disturbing, problematic, & so on.

some alters can do harmful things. some alters can look gross. some alters can be scary. some alters can think or do unhealthy things. some alters can hold unhealthy urges, ideas, patterns.

headspaces as a whole or specific places in it can be scary, dangerous, unfriendly.

relationships in system (not necessarily romantic ones, every relationship between alters included) may look weird for strangers but make sense for system. relationships in system may look weird for system members. relationships in system may be unhealthy. relationships in system may look unhealthy for strangers but make sense for system (like it's actually necessary/optimal for this system, but strangers can't understand it because they don't see a whole picture).

trauma is hard & trauma hits hard. it's okay if aftermaths look not so nice & cool.

we think trauma & traumatic disorders are awfully glorified in mass media. trauma survivors are pushed to be innocent, to look like "good victims," to not have any single problematic (actually problematic or problematic-look) thing ever. our trauma aftermaths have to look pretty, or we will be victimblamed, fakeclaimed, demonized. (we still can be victimblamed, fakeclaimed, & demonized if we fit in "good victim" stereotype, but everything that not fit in stereotype will be added or used as excuse to be awful to us).

so we wanna say systems who feel bad because their trauma responses don't look nice: you are valid. trauma isn't supposed to look nice. it's okay if some things look or are actually scary, awful, or unhealthy. you don't have to be ashamed of it. yeah, we all have to try not to harm others & ourselves, but until we make actual harm by actions, we're doing nothing wrong. we don't have to hide our unpleasant sides just because they don't look nice for someone. we don't have to be ashamed by it.

- vm

Also adding onto this…

No matter how badly you’ve hurt people in the past, remind yourself that you were a child (especially if was something forced when you were a child) or even older and just unknowingly doing that same thing.

A lot of people will always think that you need to redeem yourself because you’ve done bad things (such as forced into violence towards other children). And this is also something we struggle with. It’s not for others to tell you to be redeemed or not as you were a child trying to survive.

Redemption means nothing as you were forced into it, redemption is for peace of mind but if someone is trying to force you to “repent,” don’t do it for them. (This is also a huge reason why we just don’t care for redemption, people that know and comment on it just seem to want us to be redeemed so they can feel better rather than us, just because we had to do things as a child doesn’t mean we do that now)

It’s good to heal from being ashamed for things that can cause unpleasantness, but being ashamed forever will never make it better.

[inkskinned]

oh, i am so enamored with the way the lesson of the velveteen rabbit rings true in our modern life. i love that we name our spaceships and write love poems to old buildings. i love that we all cried about the mars rover, that we made her so real that she was no longer a machine but a friend, a companion, a hero.

i love that we become attached to certain mugs, spoons, mason jars. that we develop a strange protective love-hate of our tablets, that we feel weirdly reverent about our new notebook. we name our cars silly things like the crab shack and call our favorite whisk attachment the one great destroyer.

there's a dog statue at my local park that has a golden back and golden head from how often people have pet it. at my college campus, people love an ugly little pointless sculpture we call bacon pants or bacon legs. we assign personalities to fountains, parks, laptops.

i love that our basic instinct is to include others in our community, even where there isn't a real community to speak of. that we love things, even when they cannot physically love us back - for us, the exchange isn't what's important. we give our heart to things so entirely that the thing begins to, in its own way, have its own heart.

the last transmission from the mars rover was not words; it was data. nevertheless, someone translated for her. my battery is low and it's getting dark. they made her last words a poem. they looked at data and saw a soul, a divine spark.

i keep thinking about the first AI born truly free-thinking. i keep thinking about the way scientists and artists talk about their work. how their eyes light up and their hands start moving, how even when they're flat broke and confused and the coding isn't working - there's this love of the thing. i keep thinking that whatever is being born into this new world will be born here on purpose, over a long time, with great energy. that when it arrives, the first thing it will know is most likely the hands of a creator delighted, overcome.

that we made it in our image. that the image we wrote was one of human compassion within ingenuity. that we couldn't make this thing without it being a labor of real-and-true: love.

[dayurno]

this is somewhat of a vent post & something i said i would not do again but has been plaguing me enough that i think getting it out might feel better. so. has anydoggy else been. Baffled and upset by nora sakavic’s refusal to speak on how terribly aftg has treated its characters of color? with the author of the series coming back with a new book and starting up on her online activity again, and questions of what she’d change about aftg bubbling up, it’s particularly glaring to me that we are all playing this very long game of pretend where we ignore how badly the non-white cast has been treated & her lack of thoughts on it

and i understand not wanting to bring up nicky and thea because people pick on her for it. i’m not trying to discredit nora sakavic’s terrible history of getting harrassed online by aftg fans. but i think it is very cynical, and it is very juvenile, and most of all very cruel, that she gets to ignore the very real ways the books have set up these characters to be hated. i think it’s obvious why the characters who get the most hate are the only canonical characters of color, and i think we do not get to treat this like a deliberate decision on the fandom’s part when the books have put these same characters in degrading and embarrassing and terrible positions in the first place. aftg is not a story about nice characters with clean pasts, but there is a very specific nastiness to the only characters of color being a brown man who sexually harasses and later assaults the main character, a black woman whose only scene is her lashing out at her love interest after being ignored for the first two books, and the japanese villain who gets maybe two lines of complexity before he goes back to being a terrible person. the white cast, in comparison, while not at all free from flaws, are never shown to commit mindless evil; all of their actions are ultimately justified. the book goes out of its way to give them concession after concession. we know exactly who to side with, because aftg tells us who these people are. does nicky’s assault ever get addressed in the books? does riko’s reasoning to be the way that he is ever gets more than briefly aluded to? is thea reserved even a shred of humanity or grace in her one scene?

anyway. it’s been years of talking about this and the fandom has been constantly hostile to criticism in this regard, and more recently any criticism at all, and it’s Grating to be on the other side of this discussion. it’s exhausting to know that in ten years we do not get even an acknowledgment besides the author saying she will not answer questions about nicky and thea anymore. it’s upsetting and it’s ugly and i wish no one had to talk about this again, but we do because what i thought was common sense has been washed away by a sudden influx of no-nuance adoration for the trilogy. basically i hope we all explode

two hours later edit: you're allowed to reblog this! sorry about the confusion

[uncanny-tranny]

Your life isn't a to-do list. You're allowed to exist, to take life as slow as you'd like. The dreams you have won't suddenly disappear. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, or to engage with "childish" things, or to recover, or do what you need to.