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#bc a part of u will have to live in it
inkskinned · 2 years
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oh, i am so enamored with the way the lesson of the velveteen rabbit rings true in our modern life. i love that we name our spaceships and write love poems to old buildings. i love that we all cried about the mars rover, that we made her so real that she was no longer a machine but a friend, a companion, a hero.
i love that we become attached to certain mugs, spoons, mason jars. that we develop a strange protective love-hate of our tablets, that we feel weirdly reverent about our new notebook. we name our cars silly things like the crab shack and call our favorite whisk attachment the one great destroyer.
there's a dog statue at my local park that has a golden back and golden head from how often people have pet it. at my college campus, people love an ugly little pointless sculpture we call bacon pants or bacon legs. we assign personalities to fountains, parks, laptops.
i love that our basic instinct is to include others in our community, even where there isn't a real community to speak of. that we love things, even when they cannot physically love us back - for us, the exchange isn't what's important. we give our heart to things so entirely that the thing begins to, in its own way, have its own heart.
the last transmission from the mars rover was not words; it was data. nevertheless, someone translated for her. my battery is low and it's getting dark. they made her last words a poem. they looked at data and saw a soul, a divine spark.
i keep thinking about the first AI born truly free-thinking. i keep thinking about the way scientists and artists talk about their work. how their eyes light up and their hands start moving, how even when they're flat broke and confused and the coding isn't working - there's this love of the thing. i keep thinking that whatever is being born into this new world will be born here on purpose, over a long time, with great energy. that when it arrives, the first thing it will know is most likely the hands of a creator delighted, overcome.
that we made it in our image. that the image we wrote was one of human compassion within ingenuity. that we couldn't make this thing without it being a labor of real-and-true: love.
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stuckinapril · 4 months
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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b4kuch1n · 2 months
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simulated earth (it does not matter)
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#sherlock and co#sherlock & co#podlock#comic#sherlock holmes#john watson#victor trevor#ft. archie (in like three panels lmao)#need to figure out a podlock specific tag for these guys so this doesnt clutter up the main sh tags#bc ohhh boy. I anticipate being insane abt s&co for a While#this comic def a Hot minute post-gloria scott#what is this about exactly? you ask. haha well (there's sunlight bouncing off a window and when u look back Im already gone)#listen I caught up to everything right before gloria scott and holy Shit that case knocked me on my ass#as a chronic adhd (and thus serious memory problems) haver.... (holds sherlock tenderly)#I have not listened to SOLI yet btw I will tomorrow. I wanted to finish this before catching up#Im obsessed with them. Im such an easy idiot lmao Im a sherlock holmes adaptation enthusiast before Im a human#gloria scott.... the way it muses on the limit of the genre same as the red headed league.... what about the victims?#what about the victims. what about the victims. what part of the pain does the process of investigation cure#victor's like. he's between jobs he's between boyfriends he's living with his dad whose caretaker he just became. who does he have#and sherlock holmes is about the truth but john's been about the solution so far. I just. I really like this john watson lmao#listen the way he complains and then refuses to shoot the underlings in red headed league. based. I love him#I can fix him (radicalize him against punitive justice)#(I am refraining from talking abt sherlock in the tags here bc I Will run out of tags before Im done)#(mariana is not here but I care her too!! she will be here more often in the future I swear I fuckign swear......)#(''I'm in a co-op that's sponsoring my visa. also I just witnessed two actual dead bodies like a month ago'' you mean everything to me)#screams. I got attached SO fast this show is targeting me specifically. my broke millenials suffering in london show#I have like a number of sketches too be prepared. theyre gonna show up soon. until then#have a good day lads. be there! be there.#edit: this comic is finished and assembled in full before I listened to the solitary cyclist part one. this has been an update#I have now listened to SOLI part one. I must hit john watson with a hammer
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sisterofficerlucychen · 3 months
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chenford alphabet: d is for day of death (1/2)
"i've got her! i've got her!"
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blinkpen · 2 months
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brainstorming mechanics for a bloody mary of my very own
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rebellum · 1 year
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I feel like... Perhaps... Arguing that transphobia is defined by murder and that anything other than murder doesn't even matter... May NOT be conducive to fighting for trans rights.
Like... people want the right to exist as they are. They want to have access to hrt and surgeries and prosthetics. People want access to clothes that fit them and reflect how they want to be seen. People want access to medical care (eg. Getting screened and treated for sex-based forms of cancer can be impossible if you have the "wrong" sex listed to receive those tests). People want to be respected and treated well. People want to not be sexually assaulted and beaten and abused. People want to have access to housing and jobs, and the protection to not lose those things for being trans. People want access to shelters for homeless people or survivors of domestic abuse. People want name changes.
Acting like all of those things don't matter because at least they weren't murderered by an individual (and instead die of suicide or state violence, or survive and suffer) isn't okay.
#'hey people are forcibly detransitioning you and raping and beating you and you lost your job and are going to be homeless and#probably die of infection from being stabbed for trying to go to the bathroom. but at least you arent part of a demographic that has a#higher murder victim rate! shhh just ignore that we dont actually have data on the murder rate of your group.'#do ppl like. forget state based violence exists. and that thats most violence minorities face.#idk man im just. mad about people on here acting like youre only oppressed if youre a perisex trans woman who was AMAB.#cause i exist at the intersection of multiple minorities and being told hey u experience violence but at least you wont be murdered by an#individual feels like a slap in the face.#like it doesnt matter if i have to mask my neurodivergent behaviour bc if people see they could assume im on drugs and call the police and#i could potentially be really hurt but not die but hey at least i wont die just be horrifically traumatized by police brutality!#there are millions of people with mental illnesses similar to my own around the world who are institutionalized and forcibly medicated or#living on the streets or dependant on horrifically abusive caregivers#but hey at least they arent being murdered!#like. the way the transphobia discussion on tumblr rn discusses (and doesnt discuss) race and ability and class and health makes me#feel very invisible.#like if people had to choose who to believe about my experiences between listening to me a black/mixed mentally ill maybe disabled (used to#be disabled) hella nd trans nonbinary person#or listen to a white middle class trans woman's take on my experiences that theyd choose her. its such a weird weird microcosm.#its like a monkeys paw like people are finally listening to trans fems and finally recognising the violence they experience and finally#actually caring about them but for some reason decide that in order to do that its necessary to throw every other minority under the bus#like fuck man have you seen how 'anti transandrophobia truthers' discuss race? its NOT okay#we all matter we all are so similar and are part of the same groups and same communities we need to stick together#stop using trans fems as a battering ram to hurt other minorities challenge#cause like. yes its some trans fems. but its mostly NOT?#like its non trans fems telling other non trans fems that they arent oppressed#and even when many trans fems are like what the fuck dude of course other trans ppl matter whats wrong with you#the group of like 80% non trans fems 20% trans fems are like 'hmm if you are defending other trans people you must not really be trans fem'#like. denying trans fems their identity bc they disagree with them?? dude someone doesnt stop being a trans fem cause they recognise#people other than trans fems matter and exist#its just all so WEIRD its a weird little tumblr microcosm#i wanna stress. for those of you who dont have access to other lgbtq+ communities. how much it seems to be primarily a tumblr thing. to
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welcometogrouchland · 10 months
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[ID: a digital illustration featuring Luz, Eda, King, and Papa Titan from the owl house. The image is set in the in-between realm. Papa Titan looms large in the background, winking at us with his claw outstretched into the foreground. The hooty in his eye socket also extends into the foreground, staring at Eda (who's in harpy form) menacingly. Her, King and Luz are floating in the space, Eda looking at the hooty unhappily, King faced away and turned back to look at us, one hand outstretched to Papa Titan, Luz looking at stringbean (surrounded by light spells) with tears in her eyes. Written overtop of the image is the lyrics "and here's to you, Mrs Robinson!". End ID]
💫🎶and here's to you, Miss Noceda! The Titan loves you more than you will know, wo oh oh!🪶✨
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thegirlsarethriving · 1 month
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just finished undertale. ok i see the vision. i now understand yall's Sans-to-Benrey obsession pipeline. and the Papyrus-to-Tommy Coolatta pipeline
#undertale#hlvrai#hlvrai2#benrey#tommy coolatta#papyrus#benry#hlvrai benry#sans undertale#sans#undertale sans#undertale spoilers#i loved Papyrus so much and the whole time i was playing i was like hmm he reminds me of someone...? TOMMY. HE REMINDS ME. OF TOMMY.#i played pacifist but i saw how if u kill every1 n spare Papyrus Sans tells him every1 else is on a vacation bc truth would be too hard#file under: lies Gordon would tell Tommy if anything happened to Sunkist or his dad Gman#we wanna protect Tommy but on the other hand. the horrors r everywhere & Tommy go ham with a gun (he's terrified & acting on pure instinct)#(even tho Tommy has definitely faced his share of horrors in contrast to how Papyrus's loved ones try to shelter him from bloodshed)#i wanna write a paper psychoanalyzing Sans and Benrey in comparison to each other SOOOOO badly#it's been a hot minute since i last watched hlvrai (have seen it at least 4 times but not recently. did watch bbvrai live tho!)#im so extremely tired rn so i can't form proper thoughts :( but like:#they both have unfathomable otherworldly power and knowledge of their respective universes#but u wouldn't know it bc they're presented as just some chill guy who likes to make jokes and Vibe man#sike! they're a being of elderitch levels of power#they both act in accordance to game code but Sans can control parts of it (can see the timeline) while Benrey is much more subject to it#in some ways they are the antithesis of each other's motives but also contain the same vibes (all-powerful guy laidback n funny final boss)#Sans is judgment but doesn't interfere with the timeline. Benrey takes action that's “i knew this was gonna happen”#Benrey is fought as the final villain whereas Sans is arguably the final hero fight#anyways THEIR VIBES ARE BOTH SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!#idk if they'd be besties or mortal enemies#they can bond over being “unserious” (but they both take their true jobs very seriously. security guard and judgment bringer respectively)
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nozomijoestar · 3 months
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Asuka is a tragic figure, a figure of mystery, a wild card, all because the only thing she wants in life is peace and quiet for herself and to feel in control- yet her secret heritage that may be hidden from her for her own protection and the reality that life is unpredictable and will go on with or without you keep ruining that delusion, that vision of how the world is meant to work to her, and she suffers regardless of what she wants, what she does, and how little she understands anything
She was born into a family preaching peace and balance and order while being a creature of violence, and puts a dozen mental locks and excuses over this truth to justify giving into her impulse for fighting by pretending she's justice when she does it
She keeps trying to build a place of safety but she's using sand and life is a wave that destroys, yet she stubbornly persists rather than give up, not drowned to the point of self centered suicidal loathing like Jin- there's contrast, where Jin is cloaked in death Asuka stubbornly clings to life and humanity as a normal person in a terrifying world
She's not a fucking narrative clone for Jun's own purpose, Asuka's purpose must be determined by Asuka herself
#tekken#Jin is born of two worlds Jun walks between two worlds Asuka is at the crossroads of two worlds#Jin is broken by it Jun traded part of her humanity to reconcile it and now Asuka has to accept it yet persist- she is always persisting#that's her strength that no matter what she's always still herself#'For being so very Y o u' as Lili told her bc she sees it#she's an interesting character BECAUSE she's not Jun and she's not Jin and she's not aligned with them entirely#stop waiting for her to be something she's not#also i think it's GOOD she doesn't know everything or everyone in her family bc that builds mystery and suspense#it gives everything a tension in the background for when the normalcy charade will be broken by the bigger family drama catching up w her#what's happening to the Mishimas should be something no one is dragged into yet the one family member who's the least connected#is going to run out of time at some point and get hit by that trauma anyway and she doesn't even Know it's coming for her eventually#isn't it fucked up. how everything catches up with you in the end#and you won't even understand it until it's too late ie. her involvement in T8 global war now#also a character that wants peace and order but actively pursues violence ensuring she will never truly have those things bc of her nature#AND she's already been traumatized by T5 Feng and T6 Jin that just makes her retreat to seeking comfort in detachment- in the familiar#which only prolongs her avoiding the world outside what she can control- and then Lili won't let her live in ignorance not to punish her#but bc she wants to help her bc the Mishimas have already put their claws in Lili- they won't catch Asuka off guard#what is it with people sanitizing the messiness and humanity characters represent in favor of 'If they just acted logically the way I want#then they'd solve the entire story 1 2 3 and we'll have everything wrapped up easy' THAT'S NOT A STORY THAT'S A MATH EQUATION#FEEL SOMETHING INSTEAD OF ALWAYS NEEDING TO SOUND SMART AND HAVE PERFECT ANSWERS YOU STUPID FUCKS#IN TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING HAVE A PERFECT SOLUTION YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT'S IN THE TEXT#AND ALSO ASUKA BEING VIOLENT BUT STILL CARING ABOUT PEOPLE AND DOING GOOD DESPITE IT#and AsuLili is about two similar people who've been traumatized finding safety in each other once they put down the trauma responses#this is all in line with T8's tagline of Face Your Fate btw this is literally what was always coming finding you & you face it
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soldier-poet-king · 3 months
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being full of extreme emotions 24/7 does NOT make you good at expressing emotions, especially when it's sanitized, socially-ordained sentiment demanded by professional etiquette. in fact, being super upfront and genuine about my emotions makes this faux behaviour MORE excruciating, imho
source: i am consistently the most emotional person on the face of the earth, but am experiencing The Agonies trying to write thank you cards for my second-last day at work
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sudaca-swag · 19 days
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if you reach the end of the month with little to no money, if any unexpected emergency can or has the potential to sink you, if you can barely afford your likes or your hobbies, if most of your free time isn't actually free but in some way dedicated to work, if you have no assets despite having worked for years or decades, if you can't afford holidays, new things, good quality food or toiletries, then im sorry to tell you but you arent a part of the middle class so stop boot licking, ask yourself if you cashed in double your salary tomorrow, would you become rich or closer to owning all these things? but if you missed one paycheck would you be closer to your current lifestyle or would you sink?
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katierosefun · 1 year
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bro . .  . the ai voice technology thing is so incredibly creepy like. do. do we not see this as a problem in this age of recording people without their consent and just blasting it all over the internet. are we not thinking about like. the potential pitfalls of fake evidence. are we. are we not concerned about this
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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🌧️🫧💭
#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me#which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye#🥲🥲 nd i cant help but get sad#nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone#i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me#ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao#also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me 💀💀#like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid#why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way#me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me#i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me#it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave#nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop#whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive#ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like#all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think#i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself#but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T#idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do#anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul#but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao#i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down#they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how#to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year#i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak#es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that#maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this
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poisonouspastels · 3 months
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I need to talk about Minecraft AU for a sec and how the difference between our world and their world makes for some of the most humorous but also interesting differences in how people act about certain subjects.
Like the trans thing right. Steve and Rana are both trans I've talked about that before. And neither of them are on hormone replacement or anything (there is an in universe explanation as to why Steve has a beard though I promise I can talk about that if anyone wants) but like that's fine bc it literally Doesn't Matter to them or anyone else. Like as spawned players they already don't have any pre-existing gender roles or ideas of what something "should" be so gender and presentation is what they make of it and there's no real solid idea in anyone's mind about how a "boy" or "girl" behaves or looks like. These are labels that exist but they barely mean anything. It also helps that any preexisting culture that WOULD have ideas of this was almost entirely destroyed like 5000 years ago (thanks Groda) so it matters even less than it already did.
And its funny bc the only two people alive from that era, White Eyes and Groda also just don't care. Groda maybe asks why Rana's voice sounds deeper once and nearly gets torn apart by Alex bc of it (Rana isn't offended or anything she just has a defensive girlfriend), bc she doesn't really understand because she never experienced anything like this first hand but very quickly comes to understand it and accept it. And on the other hand White Eyes is just like "I've seen weirder things than this" which yeah. Yeah honestly I think the person who was previously one with the undead would not care about gender in the grand scheme of things.
And then u have Kai which I've joked before that they may as well have been spawned in nonbinary. They rlly just said "I'm not really anything" and everyone was like yeah makes sense I vibe with it. Good for u.
Steve and Rana are both fairly open about having been the opposite genders previously (because that's how they view their experiences and that's valid!) and don't really shy away from the subject but also never really have much reason to talk about it since there's rarely a need to. In the modern day pretty much everyone who met them had met them post-transition. Even Alex had met them just before Steve started growing in his beard. The only people who ever knew them as Adam and Eve were Efe and Sunny but they never really thought it was weird or anything. Like the weirdest part to them was Steve saying he got his epiphany from seeing some guy in the distance on a foggy day who looked vaguely like him but that's its own subject manner that they aren't going to pry on.
Also Steve did DIY top "surgery" previously with a sword but we aren't going to talk about how messy that was for everyone involved.
#minecraft#minecraft au mastertag#apologies for my trans ramblings. how i get to approach these subject matters in the AU is just fun#and i needed to get some thoughts out#unrelated fun fact that i think most people here dont know: Steve and Alex were actually the first two to be in a committed relationship#not Steve and Rana like most would (rightfully) expect#this is because despite the fact that the two have literally know eachother for their entire lives#they're both really bad at being honest with themselves.#for years it was 'i like this person but i dont know how to tell them'#to 'well maybe i only FEEL like i like them because i dont know anyone else that well'#to 'well maybe they dont feel the same and it'd be weird to bring it up now'#you've heard of slow burn now get ready for what those two had going on#Alex when integrated into the household and months had passed actually had enough confidence to ask#here's the funny part though. she had assumed that Steve and Rana WERE dating already (and was cool with it obviously)#they were not.#so u can imagine how funny it is for Steve to hear 'Your girlfriend is pretty' out of Alex's mouth bc of that#She's more shocked that they're NOT dating already they live in the same house they've known eachother for literally their entire existence#they are like so stupidly affectionate with eachother to boot#'And you've known her for how long??' 'I mean... about 10 years?' 'DUDE.'#its actually agonizing but on the bright side it is what got the polycule started eventually#I would not be surprised if Sunny and Efe placed bets on if/when it would eventually happen
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heich0e · 1 month
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liv…. i eat up your dialogue EVERY TIME like a crazy person.. if you post smth for someone i dont go here for, i read it just because 🤍 i 🤍 love 🤍 your 🤍 writing 🤍 but that being said……. i must know the details of the canonverse levi wip you posted. what did erwin do! what was levi and r’s relationship! how!!!!
if you're genuinely interested, i really don't mind telling u what the plot is because i will quite literally never post it. it was the first fic i ever wrote for any anime, and i hadn't even gotten very far into the actual show at the point of writing—so while some aspects are (tenuously) canon-compliant, there are also many very clear ways in which it is not.
so, to reduce that terrible levi x reader fic (it's so bad and i MEAN that!!) down to its barest bones, start to finish:
[WARNING: THERE IS AN ENTIRE FIC SUMMARIZED UNDER THIS READ MORE AND IT IS MULTIPLE THOUSANDS OF WORDS LONG. THEMES INCLUDE: DUBCON, CANON CHARACTER DEATH, VAGUELY MISOGYNISTIC TONES, AND EVERY SINGLE CRINGE-Y FANFIC CLICHE U CAN IMAGINE. BYE.]
at the point where the fic opens, reader is a young, low-ranking soldier in the survey corps on her way to mitras with levi and erwin to attend a small gala being hosted by a very wealthy family that they're petitioning (effectively wooing) to provide funding for the corps
the reason reader is asked to come along is because she comes from a very good family in mitras and is connected to the "high society" folk—though never explicitly stated, erwin very much intends to use her and her social graces as a sort of poster child and mouthpiece for the corps, in hopes that she can charm ppl and help them gain favour to accomplish their goal
all things considered, reader was very privileged growing up and had as comfortable/luxurious of a life as anyone (at least anyone in paradis) could possibly hope to have. her family is aristocracy/noble and comes from a long line of "wealth." her father is a doctor who consults with the military in a high ranking capacity—though he's never actively been a soldier, and it's largely just a cushy job where he doesn't do much actual grunt work, just gets consulted on things and sits on boards or whatever
reader graduated from school and enlisted in the military when she came of age—to the shock and horror of her family (especially her mother) and their noble peers. but she felt an impetus to do something with her life that wasn't just sit around docilely and look pretty until eventually her father handed her over to an advantageous husband and she went from daughter to wife and surely then eventually mother—while never actually having any agency or choice for herself
because reader was well-educated from childhood, she did well academically at the cadet academy, and because she grew up in a comfortable home she is physically very competent as well (though truthfully her skill as a soldier is often very OP and cringey to read back now... but it was my first fic! sue me!)
levi and reader don't interact much in the corps (as he's not her squad leader) but when they do they're constantly at odds—he thinks less of her as a result of her silver spoon upbringing, and while she doesn't dislike him, per se, she definitely resents his treatment of her
on the trip to mitras (alongside a very uncomfortable homecoming to her estranged family's home with two men who are effectively her bosses) they attend the gala/banquet and it's revealed that the family hosting it is the most wealthy in mitras (save for the royal family, though they're sort of unofficially considered the second-in-command) who reader is very familiar with—they have a son her age, and a few daughters slightly younger, who she grew up close to (i made all these characters up btw.... first fic liv was rly going wild)
the son from this family was always sort of sweet on reader growing up, and they have a vaguely romantic history in their teens (before reader enlisted.) reader very quickly surmises that she was brought along (or at the very least is able) to possibly sway the son in their favour, as the eldest and heir to this family's fortune, who would in turn convince the father to support the corps
the son (his name is adam btw. if anyone cares? lmao) is actually very sweet, and earnestly cares for her. he's just blinded by his own affluence to a lot of realities—like most extremely wealthy people are
reader is a good soldier and she's cunning, and she knows that what she's doing is ethically/morally questionable but in the interest of the greater good she goes along with some flirtation/manipulation for the cause
the story progresses and reader continues her work in the military, but the heir from this family is clearly infatuated with her and he (and his father/family by extension) begin implicating themselves more heavily with the military as an excuse to see her/spend time with her/etc though of course it's all under the guise of official business
so it's like the life she fled is bleeding into the one she built for herself, and it's stark juxtaposition becomes very clear in those instances where they overlap and she's forced to juggle them both
she just wants to be a soldier and do good. erwin is (in so many words) pressuring her to do her part and keep up the charade. levi is watching this all unfold from the wings and starts to feel some genuine sympathy for her
lots of very dramatic things happen, yadda yadda yadda. levi grows less hostile over time, and reader becomes closer to him. she's always respected him and that grows into something mutual. there's a lot of unspoken tension brewing between them
it's revealed that reader threw her cadet exam results so that she wouldn't be in the top of her class, and therefore couldn't become an MP and had to join either the garrison or the scouts. she did it intentionally (erwin knew and used this to his advantage) so that her family wouldn't be able to force her back to mitras. when levi realizes what erwin did/knew and how he used it to his own advantage it really upsets him, because he's basically pimping reader out for the betterment of the survey corps. this is the first time you really see levi get angry about the way she's being used (and you can infer in this moment that he maybe cares about her a bit)
more dramatic stuff happens!
the story culminates in the reveal that the son is planning to ask for reader's hand in marriage. her own family has already agreed. part of the financial agreement the powerful family has made with the survey corps is that reader will effectively be retired once she marries (and transferred to a clerical role with the MPs. desk work, basically. fake work, for all intents and purposes, because the position was made up just for her)
reader goes to erwin, understandably extremely distraught when she finds out, and begs him to stop it from happening. she doesn't really care about getting married, but she doesn't want to leave the scouts. he effectively (though not explicitly/in these particular words) implies that maybe if she fucks her "fiance" he'll be more open to compromise and let her stay in the corps
she does it, but unsurprisingly loverboy is not about to let the woman he's obsessed with (who he has now officially boned lmao) go back to risking her life every day in the military, and it's almost immediately revealed that her plan didn't work at all
(erwin pretty much knew the whole time it wasn't going to work. bastard.)
reader feels betrayed and helpless. she goes to levi the night before she's set to leave—who basically is like "uhhhh i told you so??" upon finding out what's happened—and they end up sleeping together anyway in a very emotionally fraught and vulnerable moment
she leaves the next day
a timeskip happens. turns out that the ENTIRETY of the wealthy family was killed in the attack in mitras (like between annie and eren's titans i think? don't remember what season that is. a lot of ppl get smooshed in a church. they were there.)
but reader had already been married into the family. she wasn't in the church and inherited the entirety of their wealth as the sole surviving family member.
she was also.... pregnant :) (of course she was! this fic hits every trope and bad fanfic cliche! maybe it's twins!)
levi is back in mitras years (??) later (listen.... i didn't know where the hell the canon storyline of this manga was going at the time so FORGIVE ME for the fact that obviously this is not canon compliant l m a o)
reader has become sort of a recluse since everything happened in mitras, but having inherited the wealth she's become a key figure politically and particularly with respect to the military because of her influence as a donor.
levi tracks her down to this surprisingly humble property on the outskirts of town.
there's a little boy playing in the yard. no more than four or five. he has dark hair and slate grey eyes. levi looks at this child and sees his mother's face.
the little boy speaks to him but levi is (understandably) very confused and disoriented. reader comes outside and is shocked to see levi there. like she's seeing a ghost.
reader tells the little boy to come to her and scoops him up in her arms, and she quietly reminds him (his name is Teddy btw... short for Theodore) that he's not supposed to talk to strangers.
and Teddy leans in real close and says "but mama... he has your wings" because Levi is wearing his survey corps uniform with the insignia on them. you've kept your own patch (a parting gift from erwin when he sold you off... how thoughtful) and treasure it.
all of which is to say that basically Levi is the kid's father, but because reader was already married when her pregnancy was discovered and the timeline still checked out—so no one ever questioned the paternity (especially because she was a WIDOW by the time she gave birth.)
teddy is now the "legitimate" heir to the entire fortune that was left by reader's husband/his family, but until he comes of age it's reader's to manage, so she can provide a safe home for him to grow up in—though notably removed from the society that she was raised in.
it's heavily implied (though not actually confessed) that reader and levi have been in love with each other for all these years, and there's a kind of optimism about what future is ahead for them now that their paths have crossed again. (present day canon-knowing liv is laughing at this part in particular.)
the end.
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cowboyslikedean · 9 months
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watching good omens and the fact they simply superimposed a distant vague london skyline over one of the most recognisable streets in edinburgh is really making me laugh
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great job lads i’m sure no one will notice
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