#brain still funky and weird about art

[lavenoon]

Bonnie, the former Agent Jackalope!

The last of the original Glamrocks, with a superficially mellow personality. He’s calm and calculating during missions, and through his polite but approachable attitude fostered a tendency of others underestimating him. 

The only people who know that there’s more to him are his friends - Freddy, Chica, and Foxy. Foxy loves annoying him because it’s the easiest way to get him to snap, and then the petty and snarky Bonnie comes out. Gossips like a house-wife, and pulls no punches. None of those punches are ever serious, he’s petty, not a full on asshole, and Foxy (the most common target due to his habits) laughs at them more than anyone. It’s in good humor, and Bonnie very much enjoys being the entertaining complainer.

He’s still also friendly, it just happens to be the act he has to put on during work most often too. The snark is catharsis, but most of the time he’s happy to sit back and just joke around with his friends. 

When Foxy first started asking questions and directing criticism towards the higher ups, Bonnie didn’t necessarily disagree - but he also did not feel like openly antagonizing his employer. Not when he knows what kind of dirty work he does for said employer, and thus knows that they are not above underhanded techniques to silence threats. So he, like Chica, tried talking Foxy out of his approach, while Freddy was the most vocal in his defense of Fez. 

And then Foxy “died”. 

Bonnie did not believe it - but he questioned himself, too frozen in the realization that his friend is gone. Is he simply stuck in denial, or is there really something fishy going on? He finds no evidence in the building Foxy was last seen in, but he knows Fez cleanup works fast and well. For a long time he doesn’t do much, just running through the same routine trying to make it through every day while doubts gnaw at him. 

But when Roxy comes in, much too soon after Foxy’s death, his suspicions rear their ugly heads again and he starts investigating in earnest. He’s quiet about it, quieter than Foxy. First, he talks to Roxy. Asks her about her age, when she started training, when Fez recruited her - and he does the math. It does not paint a pretty picture. He thanks her, quietly but genuinely, and when he notices how uncomfortable she is about the entire topic, he shoots her just a quick “You did nothing wrong.”

Despite being quiet, his investigation starts drawing management’s attention - and Bonnie sees the writing on the wall. His missions get riskier and more often end in fights and require cleanup. He starts moving his assets out of town. When he gets put in charge of a high stakes mission, teamed up with a newbie (as promising as he is), he’s immediately on edge. It’s not that he doesn’t get along with Monty - but there is tension between them, with Monty’s urge for quick action clashing with his own calculating attitude. Bonnie is the one to suggest a split, and Monty doesn’t disagree - they both feel like they need to cool off.

Bonnie gets ambushed, though he dispatches his assailants with minimal injury. But he realizes this is an opportunity that he won’t get again so quickly, and next time could be too late. There’s already splinters of his outer shell lying about, but he knows Fez will want more evidence of his “demise”. 

His left ear, already damaged, loses its top half, thrown towards the next wall where a few blood splatters already mar the paint. His loose left finger, in the opposite direction. For good measure he rips off the dented plating of his left arm too, where he shielded himself against a heavier blow. Because he knows Monty will be at risk on his own, he sends one last signal through their communicators, before crushing his on the ground, too. 

Now he has to be quick. He carries off the knocked out attackers, only leaving an ambiguous fight scene. 

And then agent Jackalope officially is no more. 

Bonnie keeps tabs on Abra Fez, though he now has to jump through many more hoops. He moves cities, focusing his investigation on his friends. Are they okay, or has Fez hurt them for his insubordination? He doesn’t like hearing about them grieving him, but doesn’t dare reveal himself to them either, remembering Freddy’s vehement protest at the suggestion that Fez does not care for its agents. 

And then Monty joins the Glamrocks, and despite Bonnie not disliking the guy, he hates it. Hates that he was replaced so quickly, hates that his friends will move on without him, hates that he can’t do anything about it until he has solid proof. 

So he stops checking up on the Glamrocks, and digs deeper. Who’s behind the code name “Hare”, leading Abra Fez from the shadows? What really happened to the late head of Fez, the one who recruited Freddy and built the agency from the ground up? When did animatronics become tools, and when did those tools become expendable? 

The answers aren’t pretty. 

And despite everything, he still doesn’t know what happened to Foxy. 

When his savings start running out, Bonnie takes a job at a local bowling alley, and has to relearn how to be social. He’s fumbling a bit more in the casual environment, but finds that the one or other snarky comment isn’t actually considered a faux pas, and then he starts enjoying it. It’s not the same, it’s not his friends who are all living without him, but it’s something, and beggars can’t be choosers. 

He’s boisterous and happy for everyone to see, but he never talks about his past and refuses to actually give out any information about himself. His coworkers appreciate him for his humor and ability to handle even the roughest customers while staying calm himself. When they ask where he learned that, he only ever declares he’s had practice, and nothing else. And then he goes home as soon as his shift is over, with no one knowing his address or even phone number, and never joins in on any after-work hangouts or the like. 

When Bonnie’s off work, and not charging, he continues investigating Fez. He deals with many shady individuals, still getting into the occasional fight when someone has second thoughts about sharing information with him, though he has managed to stay low enough to not draw Fez’ attention again. He makes a name for himself as a private investigator, and while not entirely accurate, it’s not wrong enough for him to tell anyone otherwise. Those gigs are much rarer, but he can be convinced to investigate other people’s matters, too. 

For a few years, that’s his life, and he figures it’s the best he’ll get. 

Though, then… Then Fez makes moves to settle in another city, and Bonnie hears about it. He hears about them being beaten back, and he starts wondering if perhaps he’s gone about things the wrong way, not seeking out allies. 

He prepares for another move. When he quits his job many are devastated, and he acts like it’s a regretful development. But for the first time in all those years, he’s buzzing with anticipation and something more - maybe hope. 

Hope of finally making headway against Fez, hope to finally find a new safety net, hope to perhaps even see his old friends again, and maybe his continued existence together with everything he has already collected on Fez will be enough to convince them to quiet, or at the very least believe him. 

But for once he’s also filled with a lot of anxiety restless energy, knowing that he’s just as likely to be found by Fez as by any agency opposing them, but it’s a risk he willingly takes. Turns out he’s done hiding, and done only playing pretend at being happy and social - he wants friends, his friends, and he wants all those things Fez originally took from him. 

And, well, once he does move, and gets to investigate in town… There are some very unexpected revelations to be had <3

[theswedishpajas]

The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄

[unexpectedbrickattack]

bro your pepperman and peppino comic hasn’t left my brain since i saw it. i just love the dynamic of a ginormous freak and peppino being both intimidated and flustered.. bro i wish there was more of those two

I should draw them some more bc i really like the dynamic ive written for them 😊 For u anon, i will share some minor (silly) thoughts ive had about them

-Pepperman absolutely has a little baby crush on this man. TEENY TINY. The kind of crush that means nothing- hes a little 💅🏾 and hes an artist like ur gonna be a little gay w all of the friends you make; thats just the way it goes 😭 Like Peppino is sooooo handsome and soooo strong and he can cook and hes smart and he doesnt stand down when confronted (he LOVES this the most). So people in Peppermans Rich Friend circle notice the complete 180 his personality does when Peppino is invited to outings. Its not that Pepperman is being weird and shallow or fake, its that Peppino is probably his First Friend that wasnt rich and snobbish in anyway. Some part of him really REALLY wants to impress Peppino and it makes him act a little ‘foolish’ heehee 😊

-Following up on this, Pepperman visits the pizzeria out of the blue like MONTHS after he first invites Peppino out for the art sessions and like okay maybe they are friends MAYBE…but like he is still kind of anxious bc the last time he came here he almost got his skinned so part of him is like ‘maybe hes only amicable bc feels obligated to cooperate within the walls of my studio…’ BUT he shuffles awkwardly into the shop and Peppino not only waves but SMILES at him while hes attending to a customer and Pepperman is like ‘HEEEHEEUHEEHOOO………….’

-Peppermans art is worth a fortune; he is very well respected in the art world and any pieces hes made (including self portraits) are absolutely stunning. His abstract art is as beautiful as his realism; auctioning them off and doing occasional commission work is how hes acquired most of his wealth. Because of this, it is a MASSIVE show of good faith and comradery that Pepperman will often gift art to Peppino. Unfortunately, Peppino will not accept statues or huge marble sculptures BUT Pepperman is delighted to see Peppino accept paintings and mini sculptures, even if he LOOKS a bit confused about it 😭

-SO… when Pepperman comes by the shop some weeks later, he is overwhelmingly excited to see one of his pieces hung up on the walls. The feeling of having his art fawned over in an art exhibit does not even BEGIN to compare to the excitement of seeing his art being displayed in this common mans shop. Its a portrait of Peppino, stylized, w some funky lookin colors. Nothing fancy or particularly evocative. Just. Peppino! Looking a bit wistful with colors winding around him.

Even Peppino is like (snrk) “Dont you have your fancy arts in a museum or something? Dont see the big deal ‘bout ‘a this.” But its HUGE its like…suddenly it is not just his muse entertaining his artistic vision…his muse VALUES his artistic vision………..it makes him SO happy. He thinks about it for days. Its like; he had no idea that this is what it felt like to have…inspiration and motivation from an Outside source. His art, while breathtaking, felt like it lacked something…Rich. Years and years of self reflection and introspection and Never expanding his horizons, never realizing he was Capable of expanding his horizons until now…he is just a lucky little pepper 🫑🌶✨

[kafkaoftherubble]

pitching akudama drive to you, without relying on cutthroat's cuntiness to get me through it

SO the basic premise is that it's a cyberpunk retro future world of Japan, years after a devastating war between cities. criminals in this world are dubbed the Akudama and ranked according to the severity of their crimes, most of our main cast are the highly sought after S-rank. there's also a task force of executioners, who are like... the American police 😍 they can kill criminals

this here is miss 一般人 (yes everyone's got a code name and they are all very on the nose, say hello to Ordinary Person. she is very ordinary)

after a small misunderstanding, she's arrested and accused being a swindler. and without explaining too much of the plot, she essentially gets forced into pretending that she too, is an akudama, as an entire group of them is forced to work together to complete a job. eventually her false persona of being Swindler becomes who she truly is and I could not convey just how satisfying that character turn around is

the strong theme here though, seen especially near the end, is how criminals are human. how they all have different reasons and motivations for committing their crimes, and how they're people beyond just that, yet they're being hunted down and executed for it.

it's about how the government can be corrupt, and if they have the power to kill criminals... well then, it's just a matter of deciding who the criminals ARE and killing them (that foot in the door to be allowed to kill anyone you dislike because Oh Well they're a Criminal)

it's about carving your own path in life with tooth and nail, to not let yourself be held down and killed or have your life stripped away from you. fighting for a better future.

anyways it's only 12 beautifully animated episodes long, every character is a delight and it's just got a fun story in general

also cutthroat will be sad if you don't watch it

Okay, the sci-fi setting is a big plus point because I like sci-fi in general! Also, the part about the American Police deadass made me laugh!

The art style looks like something I've seen but I don't remember what it is. It's like... the style used in Persona! The video game, I mean.

Hmm... "Becoming the mask" as a trope is a bit of a neutral thing for me, to be honest. I think the Past Me had a fill of this with Durarara!! back then, haha. Being a swindler is a bit of a plus point, though, because I love stories about noble-hearted confidence people. Does this Normal Person Girl actually pull off really wild, big-brained insane cons like the French show Lupin or the anime Great Pretender? If she did, it would be a very big plus point! I dig that stuff so much because I love trying to figure tricks out!

As for the part about humanizing criminals—it's a wee bit reminiscent of Psycho-Pass, which I really enjoyed. I'm also currently reading Ajin, which has shades of this in its themes. Since I'm currently being fed, I'm quite neutral about this specific theme for now.

Overall, it is quite an interesting premise! I will hold onto it and wait for its Interest Meter to be filled even more.

Weird that I have never heard of this anime before! I mean, sure, I don't consume fiction a gargantuan lot compared to most people on Tumblr, but I still fancy myself a wee bit more learned than actual casuals! So how is it that I have never heard of this? Is your fandom big?

Also, Cutthroat can cry but I find it a bit suspect if he can cry. I mean, this guy's name is screaming "funky happy serial killer" so much!

[archandshri]

12 April ‘24 - [arch] Making a Comic in a Week, Disability and Burnout (all unrelated, of course!)

Hey Shri and folks!! LOVED seeing part three of the Lionheart Brothers cover. Stunning!! And awesome to see your process. Also cool to see what you’ve been looking at lately - I’ve just finished a rewatch of Firefly and the characters are still living in my brain a bit. 

Life is a bit relentless, huh. I’ve spent a lot of time and energy working on disability stuff - meal prepping, sorting silly government forms, all that sort of thing. Exhausting and super easy to burn out on - but also sets me up for the future in my personal life and for illustration! I want to discuss the balance of pushing and burnout this week with an excellent example - I tried foreshadowing to make a comic in a week. 

When I was in uni, it was easy to create cool stuff regularly - you’re constantly receiving prompts, doing activities, getting feedback etc. I still have access to these things, especially through my shared studio community, but it’s not as easy as it used to be. I miss creating finished books, in particular, so frequently. So! I challenged myself to make a comic in time for Something’s Fishy Zine Fair in Plymouth tomorrow, which was just over a week from when I started.

I had come up with the concept for the comic while travelling, written the script and done a couple of sketches. I often come up with concepts while travelling - I just don’t often follow through :P Here’s a couple of sketches I did on the journey.

I’ve been chatting to lots of people about what they enjoy about art - I’ve noticed that I tend to crave the end of the project and having the physical thing with high expectations of myself, which doesn’t lead to a very enjoyable process. Many people I’ve spoken to enjoy the ‘zone’, the focus of the project where you’re just figuring stuff out and not thinking about anything else. Bearing this in mind, I wanted to make the process as fun as possible - this comic is for fun and not for the purpose of having the thing at the end. 

I started with a few development sketches of the characters and the vibe. I used ink and my funky kakimori dip pen, plus some brushes. These mediums are hard to control, which makes them good for development for me - they don’t have to be good, this time is for gestural drawings and ideas generation. Some continued doodles in my sketchbook from some downtime :) Fish wouldn't leave my brain.

After a bit of character development, I began by adapting my script into pages - I read the script and try to feel the vibes on how I want to pace the comic, considering:

How much dialogue and plot do I want to put on one page?

Do I want it to be more text or image-heavy?

Do I want it to feel fast and snappy, or slow and dreamy?

Which parts of dialogue feel like a page-turner?

Are there any twists that should be separated from the rest of the scene by a page-turn?

Are there any moments that should sit next to each other on spreads?

You can see me changing some dialogue around, writing as I draw a bit. Also playing around with some weird looking fish?? With noses???

I got a bit stuck at this stage. I was scared my script wasn’t good enough. And worried about if I could even draw fish. After a couple of chats with art friends, and some rambling in my slides, I reminded myself that the lesson this time is fun!! Have fun goddamn it!! No point doing it if you’re not having fun. (it’s not like we make any money from riso printed zines anyway)

Screenshots from my slides - these things are wonderful for gathering inspiration and venting when you run into a problem with the project.

So I decided to just go for it. Not even thumbnail, but just take a scene and draw it. I asked a studio friend to choose a number, and I drew that scene.

Because of the chatty style of the comic, and how much dialogue there was gonna be, I knew there would have to be a LOT of panels. I decided to make it A4, and use a 8x6 grid. I’ll draw the images at A3, and than scale them down to A4 when it comes to printing.

left: A3 grid on the lightbox, for tracing over || Right: A4 grid with boxes of different sizes for me to reference while choosing the layout - this way I can see the final print size

First drafts of a couple of random pages from Moon Noodles.

The first day I drew several pages that I was really happy with! It gave me a lot more confidence in my script - seeing it come to life with the characters on the page - some pages even got some laughs which was nice. I would look at the page plan, script, and spend a few minutes thinking about the pacing and how I wanted the dialogue on the page, and the go straight in with the dip pen - with the awareness that it might be wrong. This process taught me an important lesson - you have to just do it. The thing is, if you do it and it’s bad, you just do it again but different. Repeat. Staring at that script thinking it wasn’t good enough wasn’t actually going to get anything done, be fun OR make nice stuff. You have to do the thing. Then you make it better.

The other thing I learnt from this process was to give it space. There was a day where I did one page, hated it and thought the pacing was off, and spent the next day trying to translate it into two pages. It didn’t work. I came back the next day and realised the first page I’d done was fine and just needed a couple of tweaks. Do the thing. Let it be.

Here’s a little picture of my setup.

(Sorry all of Printhaus for hoarding the light box and getting ink all over it :( love u)

Useful stuff!!!!

Finished pages to refer to, plus more A3 paper underneath for future pages

Laptop with script

Dip pen, ink and water for keeping that little guy clean!

development sketches for relevant scenes

Page plan (you can see I have shortened it considerably since last time - now it's 20-24 pages and noted on scraps of paper so I can move them around if there's any changes of plan)

A4 sheet with boxes to show the sizes of the final print

also scissors??? i don't remember why they're here

But then monday morning came. I realised that if I wanted to get it all printed by friday, I needed to:

Plan and 12 pages on Monday, and 12 on tuesday

Get the final files for every one of the 24 pages by Thursday 

Print friday morning

Travel down to devon Friday afternoon

Fair Saturday

Not only is that basically impossible, but it would be very bad for my health, make for a rushed comic, and most importantly, not be fun. The thing is, I’ve made whole comics in a couple days before. I figured I could still do it. But that’s not actually a good thing - my skills and taste have increased, I'm aiming for bigger, more ambitious projects and yet I expect the timelines to stay the same? It doesn’t exactly work like that now, does it?

But I kept going anyway. 

Tuesday morning, I decide to get the cover put together so I can get the preorder post-out. I get pulled into an unexpected meeting, and then spend the rest of the day inking this thing and getting the files sorted. At this point, I know for sure It’s not possible to get this done. Thankfully my two Printhaus besties were in. They helped me drop it. I love this comic, it feels fun and joyous and I’ve enjoyed working on it - lets not rush it and end up with a bad product that will bother me. Let’s take time, explore it and really enjoy the process!!!

All is not lost for Something’s Fishy Zine Fair, though! Originally, I had planned to do a print of the Moon Noodles Cover for preorders only, but why not print that for Something’s Fishy?? Anyone who buys the print will also get a discount code for the pre-order :D (also here’s the pre-order link)

So here’s a few images of the Moon Noodles cover print and the process!! I hope to see some of you at Something’s Fishy. It’s a joy to visit Plym again :D

Sketch printed out at A3, and 2 of the layers. I scanned these in and edited them on photoshop to get the files ready to print.

Coming to terms with the fact that 1) I don’t have illustration superpowers even if my expectations are that high and 2) I’m disabled (yes it’s been years and it’s still hard to face) is really hard!! I need to spend most of my time when I’m well preparing for when I’m not AND fight the urge to work until I burn out, which I always lean towards because it’s nice escapism. 

The thing is that living, and not being too exhausted to move is much more important than a comic. And if I am gonna spend my functioning time making comics, they’re gonna have to be enjoyable to make. Otherwise your life slips away from you and you haven’t been really living it.

Hope that hasn’t got too deep for you. I think that stuff is important to face, especially since the creative life is so incredibly busy.

Thank you for reading this goddamn essay, I hope that it helped in some way! As usual, feel free to drop an ask if you have any questions. 

Chat soon :D Archie <3

[snurgle07]

Say all your psychonauts 2 thoughtS

All of them huh? I think about this game so much, I’d be here all day, but this certainly gives me a good excuse to ramble about some things I love about pn2. :D

- The characters are amazing! 10/10 I care about pretty much all of those freaks. The art style makes them all look so charming in a lopsided weird sort of way, and the game is so empathetic to everyone that even the characters we don’t get much of or who serve a limited purpose still feel well rounded and real.

- Raz is excellent. He’s loads of fun in the first game and continues to be a blast in the second. He’s even more adorable and earnest in the sequel and I love that for him!! He’s definitely one of my favorite characters of all time, I adore him.

- Adoring the characters goes for everyone though. And pn2 has a whole new cast of characters who are all super fun in their own ways. The Psychic 7 especially are super cool. My biggest soft spot is for Lucy, but I love Bob, Ford, and well, the rest of the seven really, a whole lot. Getting to meet the Aquatos is also awesome, and the interns are cool too. Lotsa cool groups of characters to enjoy.

- The story? Awesome. Feels grander than pn1 to be honest, and I like that, but also it’s completely great on its own. It’s got loads of mind shenanigans, drama, great mental health commentary, and manages to balance out all the trauma with enough healing and empathy and even a bit of humor that it all still feels nice and hopeful despite everything. Like yeah there’s a lot of angst material certainly, and as a fan I gotta love that, buuuut sometimes I need a piece of media to punch me in the gut and then give me a warm hug afterward.

- On the note of mental health stuff, I feel it did great. It’s noticeable that they talked to experts and people with personal experience. They were able to convey the mindscapes of certain traumas and mental health issues with more accuracy. The first game was certainly empathetic and kind in regards to that, which was a big deal at the time, buuuut the accuracy was a bit lacking back then. Pn1 shows it’s age a bit in that regard. Pn2 improves on that wonderfully with both kind and more researched explorations into the mind.

-The morals regarding the complexity of the human mind and the messiness of humanity and how we often make mistakes and have more to us under the surface… heroes are often flawed, villains may just be a version of a person we made up in our mind based off of our limited perceptions… aughh good stuff. There are so many good takeaways from psychonauts 2 and I love it!

- Also on a more personal note, I probably owe this game my fascination with psychic powers and psychics in fiction. It’s tangentially what got me into Mob Psycho 100, and has inspired me to make some psychic ocs. The art direction really impacted me and even the way I draw. My style has opened up so much more since practicing drawing such funky looking characters. I genuinely think it has helped me improve a lot and helped me discover more about what kinds of art style I adore and inspired my own. The gameplay too, alongside the art direction, has impacted my aspirations a lot as far as being an artist and hopefully to work in game design— which is to say it’s super inspiring! I think it can inspire people in a myriad of ways, it’s a very unique game like that, and it really reminds me why I love art, storytelling, and games so much. I genuinely feel I owe it a lot for a variety of reasons and I’ve seen many others who play it feel the same. :)

TLDR: Psychonauts 2 my beloved…

Thanks for the ask! I will never not want to talk about psychonauts, this game is sticking in my brain for good.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

When thinking of your trademark in your writing, I think it is the way you go into details and paint a picture for the mind's eye. The way you balance descriptive imaginations and realistic detailing is just very captivating.

Your art has a funky loose feel to the lining that just feels fitting to the enigma that is your brain, too full to truly poor it all out onto the paper no matter how hard you try. But boi do we love the attempts that give us any slightest peek into that brilliant mind of yours.

You clearly don't draw or write without thinking it over thoroughly.

Bwaaaaaaaa

Thank u! that's super sweet of you to say.

I do tend to overthink a lot of things.

I'm not very good at making like... Outlines or roughs of poses. I very rarely make base outlines, like I usually just start drawing and the rough sketch becomes the final lineart. So I often rely super heavily on references when I draw. For some reason over my 28 plus years of drawing, I never really gotten a grasp on how the torso, legs and fingers all really connect and form one entity. I know I could try with enough discipline and practice, as art is a skill. So I have this weird blend of like... Super confident lines, but not knowing how a torso, shoulders and legs connect which make a really interesting balance, and leads to things like this:

Like I can always see the framework of what I want, especially when little reference is used, but it really seems like nothing connects. Like the understanding of SHAPES is there, but not the understanding of how they are coherent together, if that makes sense? And you can kinda see that in my more high profile art, but I feel there was a period where It did click and I understood how it all connected but I forgot it all.

Like at some point, with these two, (rest in peace. the ship tag has not been updated since I left the naruto fandom) around 2019 I was getting it! Like I felt I was really getting it, Like I MADE THESE!!!! but then I kinda forgot it all. Like I still didn't use a base outline for these and did rely on heavy references, but I feel I was getting a grasp on shading and autonomy and how the human body works and fits together. And then it... Just kinda vanished from my brain, and I regressed to a more chibi simple art style. Either because it was easier, or because I was experiencing more chronic pain in my back and hand.

At the end of the day, I think my art style regressed a lot due to lack of practice, and lack of encouragement from outside sources besides the internet likes and reblogs like RL friends or Family. That, and I feel my attention span and patience for things has just gotten worse as I've gotten older. I'm guessing my Dad's death had a lot to do with that. As, I am over the loss of my Dad as a person. but mentally, I am not over coming the fact that mortality is very fleeting. You think I would spend most of my time living life to the fullest. But that isn't the case. I kinda feel like I've been stuck in that "What is the point of anything if anyone can die suddenly without warning for any reason" Stage of grief that I have NEVER really got over.

Needless to say my Dad suddenly dying with no warning due to a ruptured aurora was just something everyone was unprepared for. He wasn't sick from an illness, no one knew he was in poor health. It wasn't even a car accident. Like he just suddenly died cus part of his heart exploded essentially.

I mean, I know I rarely talk about it, other then mentioning "My Dad died Eight years ago. Haha I'm over it tho, it was awhile ago"

And, While I think I'm over it in the sense with, I'm at peace with always missing him a little bit, and don't think about him constantly... I'm not over it in the sense of how fragile mortality is and how it can be taken away. For no just cause or reason.

I guess I'm over it, in that I'm over that my Dad, the person is dead. I am NOT over the fact of HOW he died. And I think it'll be a long time till I cross that hurtle.

And yeah, that's a heavy part of life, that we all get old and die one day, but some people don't even get to grow old. you think it would make me more.... "make time with what you have, enjoy what you like."

but if anything, it makes me more fearful in "what is the point of doing anything if I were to die tomorrow, what have I done. Folks will miss me, sure. But I will still be gone." So then I just end up doing nothing for long periods of time, and that's mostly why my art skills suffer because I don't see the point of doing a discipline or working towards any goal whatsoever. And I'm just going through the motions. And yeah, sometimes, I will be super productive and be happy and do a lot of things for a bit, but they're always short lived moments and it's hard to stick to things.

Looool sorry if that's all just too heavy.

Oh, if this sounds too complaining... Or "pity party. Woe is me, Dana is Depressed again" ahahahah. Like, that's not the point of this. I mean, it's my blog and I can talk about my feelings I guess, and I feel that Depression, even before my Dad's death impacted my art journey. So I'm still trying to struggle to remain consistent in my endeavors.

Or I could just be lazy. XD That too. XD

Anyways... Moving on in terms of my writing style, that's very nice of you to say.

I am a deep appreciator of inner monologues if it wasn't obvious. I like to dissect what characters are thinking and I sometimes feel I overdo it, and justify every single action and breath they take by getting so close in their own head that there's hardly any breathing room for error.

But I just write how I tend to think in terms of Overthinking, so I don't think I've ever written a character from a close third person (or first person) perspective that hasn't overthought every action before they speak.

But usually within the context of the story, their inner monologue spanning 20 pages actually takes place in the span of less then a few seconds.

I don't think I could write from Bob's POV if I tried. He's a man of action rather then overthinking. And if I held his hand as a third person narrator, he would sho me off and do his own thing gladly without my interference. XD

Anyways. Didn't mean to get so venty on this ask.

Thank you so much for the lovely compliment. Also some insight into my process I guess. XD

[wifiwuxians]

quick aside for my moment of befuddlement because ive always misunderstood the idiom "like a house on fire" LOL. i always thought it was a passive aggressive way of saying "dude, we would destroy each other lets not talk" so when i first read that I was like ??? context??? doesnt match??? did they misunderstand the idiom? DID I? then i googled it and you're right lol its a nice thing. (tho now i wanna put that in a fic bc i think that would be a delightful misunderstanding for characters to have). IM SO GLAD I MADE UR FUNK SLIGHTLY LESS FUNKY THO. you're great and you're super sweet ;w; if i had more self-confidence, i would definitely jump at the opportunity to befriend. maybe when i get more gutsy

BACK TO THE SONG LAN HATE THO. im sorry, im still in shock. just HOW. also..... how is my interpretation of them not the common one??? again, i stay so strictly to my lane i didnt know other lanes existed and i definitely dont want to hear about it bc i think song lan hate would hurt my heart. it already hurts my heart sometimes when i see xue yang hate and XUE YANG DESERVES IT. literally i despair at media literacy sometimes. i absolutely cannot understand how anyone consumed the same content as we did and decided to be mean to song lan.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY A FAVORITE ARTIST, DUDE. have you fucking SEEN your stuff?!? like, are you as blind as xiao xingchen? (my sweetie, may he forever regain his sight). your art is GORGEOUS. absolutely worthy of being a fav artist and i am sure im not the only one. for starters, your pieces always have a depth to them that sets them in a scene so freaking beautifully EVEN WHEN THERES NO BG or even in your more simplified styles. when you come out with a "silly phone doodle of xue yang", i see the freaking SKILL needed to make THAT adorable lil gremlin as just a 'silly doodle'. like BRO, youre so skilled that i think youve lost depth of how good an artist you really are. i wish i was smarter with art words so i could tell you in color theory exactly why your colors are so beautiful but im dumb and all i know is "color pretty" BUT SINCE I CAN PORTRAY STUFF WITH WORDS SOMETIMES i'll try to just express how your colors alone can evoke emotion and tell a story, how you use the contrast to make your art pop off the page, the way that the colors caress a scene and show so much more inside. its beautiful, your art is beautiful, i can look at a piece for such a long time and still find interesting details that make me smile. oki i'll stop beng weird now but like NEVER DOUBT YOU'RE FREAKING SKILL BRO. (shit i didnt even get to how your animations just break my brain oeuihgo i love)

lolololol dw abt telling me about the cannibalisms piece, i look Specifically disrespectfully at that one. not big into cannibalism but damn dude, there is a Mood to that piece and frankly, something that messed up sort of suits them on their worst days euorhgioeurh i like me a fluff au or a fix-it fic but damn those two can get Dark.

My otps are often rarepairs ;A; i never do it on purpose, im normally jumping headfirst into a more popular ship but then i just See the potential in two other lil guys and im like.... holdup, wait is no one else seeing those two??? AM I THE ONLY ONE WITNESSING THIS? (yes, yes i am). And the hyperfixation begins and its just me alone at a bar with no bartenders so i make my own food. but im a weird lil guy so my cocktails are always strange and im alone at the bar lol. tbh songxue is one of my LESS rarepair rarepairs. like... theres actually fics that i didnt write for them LOL. (there was one fandom where there were 40 fics for a ship and i wrote all 40. i am a sad and lonely lil loser lol)

(scuse me one of my fav artists said they think i'd write my otp well, i can die happy oaierhgoeirh i actually do write ff for songxue but hahaha im still just a silly anon but its rlly good to know that the person i think characterizes them best in the fandom (that ive seen) thinks i would do a good job with them aoeghuihr thankyou for the high praise, i guarantee i dont deserve it)

(sometimes i've wondered if the reason you draw/write them so well is bc you dont ship them? weird take but like, shippers have shipping goggles right? we see what we wanna see a lot of the time. but since you just think they'd be neat standing next to each other (much agree), you actually put thought into their characterizations and personality instead of just "this is how they'd F*CK" or smth similar. and bc the personalities and stuff mean way more to me than sexy stuff (thats the whole reason i ship them! their personalities!) the fact that even your crack stuff has such a good basis in who they are as people makes your content just so good. whereas sometimes i see content by shippers (no disrespect meant, everyone ships in their own way), its very actively ooc, usually for a kink fill, and im just... but what abt their personalities? what abt the whole reason i think they'd be good together if given the chance?! WHAT ABOUT THEM? and then u come around drawing them like that and i just wish more people portrayed them the way you do. this isnt meant as like an anti-smut thing, i like smut, its just that sometimes pwp is just two strangers who happen to have the character names of my blorbos and literally nothing else in common and theyre my BLORBOS. more power to people who like that stuff, i will stay in my lane and bother this poor lovely person who doesnt even like the ship but is kind enough to see their potential to be pals cuz damn im in it for the emotions)

heh heh yeah it means we'd get along well but i like that interpretation too and think it would make a great story!! here's to you becoming more gutsy! (though again you're very free to use an alt or something!)

genuinely why i don't go looking lmao... song lan fans are so fucking strong to have to deal with the shit people have said BUT nowadays the climate seems to be a lot better :D i see lots of thirst for him at least KFHKDJ and my appreciation post of him has 800 notes so that's hopeful at least! but same i don't get it at all (though honestly i will say a lot of character hate stems from shipping. legit.) but yeah regarding xy hate for me it's gotta be for the "right" reasons LMAO

LJHLFHFD ALL THE COMPLIMENTS MY BRAIN CANT TAKE EM!!!! genuinely!!! THANK YOU!!!! i do often tell myself 'your stuff doesn't have to be perfect it just has to spark joy' to feel better about not rendering a piece to hell and back and mostly taking the lazy route, though this year i really wanna branch out and try more! but all of this has shot me in the heart... emotion to me is the most important part of art, and one of my favorite responses to get is laughter, and you don't need a 4K HD piece for that haha BUT LISTEN YOURE NOT WEIRD EVERY ARTIST I KNOW WOULD KILL TO HEAR THIS im gonna frame it. but after ive printed and eaten another copy like wow you think i set the scene ;_; will cry (agsjdhf sorry i really do read everything im just. PROCESSING!!!)

ahaha yeah for sure! i do love me some cannibalism (i am the cannibal friend) but absolutely that was just intended as a very dark place. song lan has Had it (the premise was xy thinking hey, he likes me, let me remove the nails i am sure everything will be fineOHNOOO)

oh dude i have chronic rarepair disease. most of what i ship is stuff i've come up with myself so any content is me + 2 souls maximum who i have managed to drag with me and make content KSGKFJ (case in point, xuechao) i just have this compulsion to do what nobody else has done

(you do deserve it! and dont go looking i wanna keep being the one who portrays them best :p)

and hey maybe because YES!!!! my work almost exclusively stems from personality oh my god thank you for acknowledging that i think that is the highest praise of all... how their personalities gel together is SUPER important for me, shipping or otherwise!! i'm telling you you and i would get along really well since we agree on the fundamentals i think! like yeah there's nothing wrong with some good old self indulgence but ooc takes me out of stuff a fair bit, and trust me i feel like most people would think MY stuff is ooc! but the thing about the strangers with blorbo names made me laugh so hard lhKDHJAfhsg i am so guilty of that in the past, i've read my old stuff and i'm just like damn. i just projected onto these dudes. NO MORE (it is bound to still happen privately but hey, ultimately, write what you want to read)

song lan and xue yang, in the 'if given the chance' realm, have exactly my favorite type of duo dynamism which is why i cannot stop drawing them lol like some funky spin on boke/tsukkomi... generally speaking ">:D -_-" is visually my favorite thing to draw haha and again! i wanna say it's not an all-out global dislike, i just a) understand most people are NOT coming at it from where i am so it doesn't interest me/makes me sad, and B) understand WHY people wouldn't be into it. because wow. um. ouch. that sure is some shit

i am gonna take a moment to plug an author i think you might really enjoy, pomegranites on ao3 (@pometogo on here!) ! i can't speak for Every flavor in there being to your tastes but there are definitely a fair few fics that made me bonkers, namely not easily let go, written for song lan love week :D

[bumblevoid]

i’ve decided to ramble a bit about an old fnaf au of mine in the hopes it’ll get me to remember it enough to write it ahaha

okok so it’s called Live or Laugh, and it’s a good ol’ michael posses lolbit au. i’ve seen a lot more of those popping up lately (for example i am currently binge reading laughing at tragedy (so good highly recommend i’m in ch. 6 so far)). thought i’d go ahead and go back to mine to get back into writing fnaf lol-

we’re going to ignore that i made this au (and most of them tbh) to be funky for my weird little multiverse things i write

so basically,, it is 1986. michael is sixteen, and lives with henry after he ran away from william about a week after elizabeth’s death. he gets a weird letter from will on his birthday, blah blah he’s doing sl. that’s what’s happening. this set-up is important. and like,, night four of sl is absolutely atrocious and i literally hacked the game to skip it because no. it’s really hard and if you’ve beat it please give me tips i wanna play night five and the custom nights legitimately but uH mike dies on night four for aforementioned reasons. he dies inside the springlock suit.

now if we ever got clarification on what that suit actually looks like or anything i haven’t seen it and am kindly ignoring it. but uh mike is dead and ends up in a springtrap like situation. he’s a dead dude stuck in the suit that killed him where his corpse still is.

oh yeah the suit is lolbit in this au. i coulda made him anything but yk i had an obsession with lolbit when i made this (stares at lolbit art print that lives on my desk).

henry reports mike as missing the next day, very concerned as a man who is taking care of a child that isn’t even his should be. and then william also goes missing, and he’s just. there. the next year, he decides to work as a night guard at his own restaurant under a fake name so he can see what all the rumors about the night shift are about. he works under the fake name fritz smith for six nights and one day. yeah i swapped jeremy and fritz’s worktime for this,, dw jeremy’s still important but on that day henry uh. becomes the bite of 87 victim in LoL and yk i’m learning a lot about writing brain damage incorrectly through playing jeremy in my motw campaign lol from here henry goes on to investigate the ghosts and pretty much just steals all of mike’s night guard roles.

and uh phone dude finds mike in like. a scrap heap that all the old sl stuff got thrown in after so many years. so lolbit just, shows up at fazbear’s fright on night 3 and henry’s just freaking out because “THERE’S ANOTHER???” and “OH MY GOD THAT’S WILLIAM HE WANTS TO KILL ME-”

yeah i still haven’t thought up how exactly they’re gonna reconnect i’ve got like,, three different scenarios running in my brain ahaha

so that’s like, the set-up of this au.

every time i sit down to write it i can’t decide if i want to start from fnaf 2 or fnaf 3. like the scene that my brain imagined that brought this whole au is in pizzeria sim so 3 would get me there faster, but also it’d be fun to write out henry being like “oh. oh my robots are haunted and want to murder me what is happeninG” so.

and then i’m like. do i write just henry’s pov or like. throw mike in there sometimes for flavor

[rainydawgradioblog]

A. Savage showed me I can write a decent song (I’m delusional)

My first major purchase after arriving in Copenhagen last summer was a ticket to see Andrew Savage’s European tour in February. The legendary Parquet Courts co-frontman played Ideal Bar in Vesterbro with his band Midnight Stew to a crowd of me and 99 tall mustachioed film bro-looking Danish lads in their 20s and 30s. I fit right in wearing my artsy new A. Savage “Riding Cobbles” t-shirt, as Andrew convinced me with his lovely little tunes to write a song of my own.

Andrew’s visual aesthetic had me straight to Ticketmaster before his latest album Several Songs About Fire even dropped. Everything he rolled out in promo shoots, cover art, and concert merch was drenched in David Hockney meets “The Adventures of Tintin” meets the doodles on the back of my middle school binder. 

Paired perfectly with the cartoony visuals, the music of Sevel Songs About Fire boils down melodies to a uniquely simple formula. Nothing is overcomplicated, leaving plenty of room to feel every chord change and focus on his glorious rusty voice, which is down-to-earth but also smooth enough to make me think he could burn the house down singing Frank Sinatra hits if he wanted. Andrew’s style makes great songwriting feel like something that anyone with a shitty guitar can do, and that’s not meant to sound shady. 

Another major draw to Andrew’s music is his lighthearted pessimistic humor that he throws all over his lyrics. It’s the same humor that my dad’s college buddies who never had kids embody. You can tell he’s got a weird whimsical take on the world in the way he phrases his feelings. “My weekly dinner of popcorn and Coke / Every Friday, like communion that I took as a joke” in the intro “Hurtin’ or Healed” is objectively a bit bleak but you can’t help but smirk and hope you're as witty as him at age almost 40.

I can thank Andrew and his band Parquet Courts for my appreciation of art punk and a lot of the politically charged folk rock I obsess over today like early Courtney Barnett and Fontaines DC. The band’s pop art aesthetic and funky yet punky take on indie rock recontextualized a lot of harsh punk aesthetics into something that made a lot more sense to me when I was first getting into music. Album’s like Wide Awake and Human Performance were palatable but gritty enough to slap some taste into my teenage brain.

Where Andrew’s solo work deviates from Parquet Courts is his more laid back take on songwriting, packed full of energy without doing the most. He’s got a handful of chords and progressions that are standard but still sound so uniquely his own. Hearing a song like “Le Ballon” or his latest single “Black Holes, the Stars and You” put Andrew’s skill at building tension and emotion with just a few particular chords and subtle melodies on full display.

Most of the emotion conveyed on Sevel Songs About Fire is rooted in finding comfort in simple pleasures and observations in a life far from a sense of home. Living all the way in Denmark, I listen to “Riding Cobbles” bumping down the cobbled Copenhagen streets, “My New Green Coat” while wrapped in my new thrifted Bob Dylan jacket, and “Mountain Time” watching the geese fly in Vs like they do in the Cascades back home. 

To me, the album is music to ramble to– it’s the music you listen to with your thumb out on the side of the road with a knapsack tied to a stick over your shoulder. I listened to the new album for the first time while waiting for trains between Berlin and Copenhagen, anticipating a long bus ride to Stockholm the next day. Being on exchange often felt chaotic, trying to experience as many new things as I could without a lot of regard to my ability to settle down, and Sevel Songs About Fire is exactly that. Andrew mentioned during his set that he loves touring because he has the unique ability of finding a sense of home in a lot of places, something I wish I was better at.

After Andrew’s show, I picked up my very own $35 guitar from the charity shop down the street and started thinking about tiny observations or inanimate objects that made me feel any kind of something. However insignificant these things seemed, they were unique to me which is exactly why Andrew’s music is so important. Several Songs About Fire was never about reinventing the wheel but more about a unique perspective and personality using the bread and butter of what makes a great song. 

I beg of you please listen to Several Songs About Fire and after you’ve realized it’s your favorite album ever I’d give his debut album Thawing Dawn a listen. For more political indie rock stuff I’d listen to Parquet Court’s Wide Awake and if you like it even punkier, try Light Up Gold. 

You’re welcome!

Mead Gill

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

Brains are dumb. And weird. Maybe mostly just dumb and needlessly panicky.

I've been itching to doodle out Tech's helmet for several days now. But what happens nearly every single time I start? I start to get anxious. I mean more than my baseline too, by the way (thanks, G.A.D.... you certainly make my life interesting).

I just can't parse out why.

Am I feeling nervous about Tech's helmet because there's so many details? Maybe, but Wrecker's helmet had a lot of little details, and I didn't feel this way, this strongly when I was working on his.

Could it be the odd shape and composition? Again, maybe, but if the issue is "what a funky helmet", I would've been freaking out about Echo's a lot more.

I'm proud to say I've gotten past most (or more) of the issue of "Oh crap if I make a mistake in tradition art I can't just CTRL+Z my way outta the mess I've made!" the more I've practiced, too. I know when I'm still working in graphite, before I ink anything, I can just erase my goofs. I know that.

But Tech's helmet man...

Maybe it's all the goofiness of a nervous and excited energy being so fresh into season 3 still and not knowing the answer to "Is he alive?" and theorizing and blah blah blah. If you're in the Clone circles you've seen it typed out a million times. You're living it yourself. You know. I don't think I need to say it lol.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Twilight if Bella was Death in the same way as Lily/Harry/Azrael? I feel like Bella has unique interpretation of the world that is somewhat like Lily's and a sense of denial not unlike your Harry's. Thanks I love your metas!

Anon is referring to Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus, October, and probably When Harry Met Tom. Also, hello meta people, before I vomited opinions onto the internet I used to write seriously weird fanfiction. I still do.

To recap for those that don't read my fanfiction: in these stories Harry (or Ellie in the case of "Lily") is "Death", a mysterious figure with even more mysterious and seemingly unlimited power over the universe. A god, essentially.

Anon points out that Bella has some marked similarities between "Lily's" Lily, in her strange perspective on the world and all the players in it, and Harry from "When Harry Met Tom" who is convinced she's absolutely normal and everything is fine and you can light evildoers on fire with your bare hands and "the power of friendship".

Anon's... not wrong.

So, with that, what if Bella was a god?

Bella the Goddess: The Pretty Much Canon Route

Well... potentially, nothing changes. Lily in her fic notices her abilities because she rises from the dead and, from an early age, meets those who point it out to her. Sure, reality also seems to be falling apart, but that has nothing to do with her and everything to do with reality.

Bella, in a lot of ways, is a lot more oblivious than a five-year-old Ellie Potter.

Bella meets aliens in the cafeteria that no one else seems to notice and learns they're vampires who aren't actually vampires. Bella has prophetic slayer dreams every now and then. Bella hallucinates Edward Cullen who occasionally feeds her information she might not actually have known before hand. Bella's brain is silent. Bella used her gift to protect an army from the most powerful gifts in the world in only a month.

Bella could potentially be far more powerful than she is (this is probably the case, actually, Bella's gift is terrifying) and she... just... never notices.

But that's boring. We already have canon, clearly this ask was meant to get us, well, not canon.

Bella and the Art of Being Sisyphus

Bella has some fatal accident when she's a child. She drank drain cleaner from Renee's non-childproof cupboard. However, because Bella's an immortal god, she comes back from the dead.

Bella thus grows up being very confused. Bella knows she's definitely died several times throughout her childhood thanks to just a) childhood accidents b) various misadventures fueled by a lack of sense of any caution but everyone keeps talking about this dying stuff.

Bella realizes fairly quickly that most people, most organic life... doesn't come back like she does.

By the time Bella's in early elementary school she probably realizes she's an alien.

She may look like a combination of Charlie and Renee (and this disturbs her greatly as that can't be right) but something is funky town in Bella's gene pool. Renee assures Bella that she did not take part in any government experiments while pregnant.

And after too many Saturday morning cartoons involving alien invaders, dissections, etc., Bella becomes terrified of doctors and DNA tests. She is convinced her life will turn into ET at any moment now and she's going to have to escape from people dressed in space suits on a flying bike.

(And yes, she checked, she can make the bike fly.)

Bella probably tries to phone home a number of times and... it probably works. Because this is Twilight, a beautiful, strange, universe with all sorts of things in it.

Bella spends a year in space, it goes poorly, and returns to Earth with none the wiser and very traumatized/learned from her experience.

I imagine her life is filled with very strange misadventures that Bella just thinks are normal. Or, at least, normal for her. That time Bella travelled in time, stepped on a butterfly, and then there were Frog People for half a day until Bella fixed it? Yeah, that was a thing.

That time some poor boy asked Bella on a date in middle school and joined her for an underwater quest where they tried to see if James Cameron's Abyss was real or not? Yeah, he hasn't spoken to her since. He's also terrified of fish now. And megaladons.

Beautiful marble people in the Forks cafeteria? Bella assumes that one's her fault. She doesn't know how, she doesn't know what she did, but she is 100% certain that the Cullens (and the fact that everyone thinks they're human) is her fault somehow.

She must have stepped on another butterfly when she wasn't looking.

Bella's very candid about all of this with Edward (which of course horrifies him because THE SECRET) but Bella has absolutely no sense of self preservation. Dying's obnoxious, and sometimes painful, but she's been there and done that.

Edward somehow still convinces himself that Bella's a beautiful maiden in need of his protection. This is even after Bella shows off her own totally awesome gift(s). "You see, Edward, I just made a dimension of shrimp. Not sure when anyone's ever going to need that. But wouldn't it be awesome?"

Edward thinks that's nice, hamburger thinks its special.

Bella can't believe she has friends. Even if they're blood drinking aliens. This. Is. Amazing.

She takes the Cullens to space and pointedly doesn't visit her alien friends. They don't talk about that adventure. It did not go well. By the way, did you know that Bella is worshipped in the Andromeda star system? Yeah, that's a thing. But we're not talking about it.

Carlisle starts becoming very concerned that Bella might, in fact, be a clueless second coming. Because there's gifted humans then there's, well, this.

Edward is still convinced he's a danger to Bella and that Bella is an ordinary human with an over active imaginaton.

Whenever Bella does come across the Volturi, Aro's very tempted, but also for once recognizes that this might be too spicy. Bella's this powerful now, what the hell will happen when she becomes a vampire? Caius' vote is an adamant no for the same reason. They decide to classify her as a supernatural creature/give her a pass on the law because. Well. The immortality thing.

And yeah, things like that.

This is one of those ideas that's really better written as a fic than it is as a rambling tumblr post. But know I just picture zany misadventures, Edward being Edward, and all of that good stuff.

[0poole]

I LOVE No Straight Roads

Honestly it’s hard to keep me away from a game with great visuals and even greater character design. I knew from the INSTANT I saw these characters that I was going to love it. I just finished it because it’s (unfortunately) pretty short, and even though I cheesed the final boss through it’s very lenient death mechanics (Instant respawn at the cost of a good rank) I actually appreciated that it wasn’t a pure cake walk. I’ve yet to rematch all of the bosses, but since I had genuine trouble with the later ones I’ll hold off on that.

But who cares about gameplay, am I right? I sure as hell don’t. I would’ve bought the game no matter what the hell it was. I wanted the characters (and the music, although I realized that second) and that was it. 

First of all, I love any world that is super fantastical but cheesy in its concept, ala a city powered by music, and battles between artists using music. Ideas like this only spawn from a mind that wants to create a fun atmosphere, if nothing else, and it was sure as hell fun. I genuinely love when someone goes so far into a crazy idea and doesn’t waste your time explaining it with real world logic. Wanna know how a city can be powered by music? Shut up and look at the cute virtual mermaid. Lord knows I did. Every once in a while, it does you good to just let the player/reader/viewer just revel in the idea without having to go out of your way to make things seem realistic. It’s not about “turning your brain off” or whatever, it’s picking your battles.

Also, I can seriously love a world with great background characters to it. Any game with the right situation to insert the random nobodies you find onto the streets into the art in the credits really played into the greatness of the world’s less important characters, and that’s always a good thing. It’s technically world building. But, since I always love to pick favorites, I’d have to say my favorite background character is easily Mia, the NSR infodesk assistant. It’s funny, because you can literally search “nsr characters” into Google and she’s the third image result. I love how jumpy she is when you first interact with her, since NSR probably spread the word about B2J suggesting they’re rock thugs who’d beat up anyone, so for all she knows she could die right then and there with a guitar lodged in her skull. She’s probably just some intern trying to pay for college. She don’t want trouble.

Also, I just realized that 90% of the characters in this game have the same body structure that I always love, that being having arms/legs that sort of fan out in width into relatively large hands/feet. It’s a kind of limb structure I fall into so much because it just really hits me right for some reason. I really can’t explain why.

Anyways, I gotta talk about the big boys individually:

Mayday and Zuke are an amazing duo. I’m always a sucker for a cute and crazy girl, but honestly Zuke hit so many of the right notes too. I will say it’s weird to pair the martian Zuke with the humanly-skinned Mayday, but honestly it doesn’t even matter because he looks so cool on his own. I love his weird blocky blue dreadlocks, and his weirdly shaped shirt which bares his chest in the weirdest way... And, oh my god, Mayday’s weird Spongebob background flower eyes? It’s little tidbits like that that really make me jealous. How could I have ever thought of that? It looks so perfect, and I don’t know why. And her little booty jig she does in her idle animation? Adorable. I played as her as much as was reasonable not only because I’m a filthy button masher with little strategy but also because she’s so damn cute. I can also appreciate how she has a tough-as-nails persona while still keeping a semi-girly attitude, like with her falling for 1010 and Sayu. Characters are so much better when they’re a perfect blend of characteristics, instead of being all one-note, like how Zuke is the quiet one but gets heated against DK West, and all. 

Honestly the voice acting for every character is great, but I love when Mayday’s VA’s accent shows through. It’s a perfect twang to accent (consider this the only acknowledgement of a pun in this post) her snarkiness. 

DJ Subatomic Supernova was going to be an easy favorite since he’s all space-themed. Also, I don’t know why I always end up liking the egotistic characters. Not in the sense that I like their egotistic-ness, but in the sense that I like everything else about them and they just so happen to also be egotistic. The same applied with Empoleon (maybe like my 2nd favorite Pokemon) and Rarity from MLP, probably among others. Either way, I’ll never not love space themes. Not to mention he’s got a funky disco theme, and I’m slowly starting to realize that I am in extreme love with techno-funk styles of music. The instant I heard his music he cemented his place into my playlists. 

As for design, I still have no idea what the fuck he is. Clearly AI is at human levels in this world, but if he’s a robot why does he still have hairy legs? But, if he’s a human, is that weird orb his head? Is it just some sort of puppet which he controls from inside his giant jacket? I know I dissed explaining things realistically but I actually want to know with this guy. Even the wiki doesn’t say. Either way, he’s clearly the logical extreme of “being at the center of your own universe.” Even his jacket depicts a solar system, with his hood being the sun. Didn’t see that until I tried to draw him. I really wish this guy wasn’t so tied to his DJ stand so I could reasonably draw him without it. I don’t want to draw his hairy ass legs. It is a great touch for his design though (although I prefer his beta look with pants and long boots, another design trait I tend to gravitate to) since DJs could reasonably not wear pants, since they’re always behind a table.

Sayu is my favorite. It’s so plainly obvious. It’s weird to say that sometimes, because some characters like Sayu are so clearly engineered to be as adorable as possible, to the point where they’re basically a parody of whatever they’re supposed to be emulating, but then they do that so well that they are still likable for what they’re trying to parody. Also, even though I’ve never looked into any vocaloid superstars myself, the fact that they exist and are loved in real life is absolutely perfect to be used as a character design in a world like this. It���s so weird conceptually, but we all know it’s normal and realistic. But yeah, she’s a giga-cutie whom I’ve already drawn and I’ve listened to her theme on loop on many different occasions. Favorite character, favorite track, favorite weapon of choice (What did I say about Empoleon?), which, and I wouldn’t have noticed this myself, looks like the USB symbol you see above USB ports on computers. How crazy perfect is that?

Even apart from my unbridled love for cute monster robot(?) girls, her boss fight is probably the 2nd greatest of them all, at least conceptually. She’s just a hologram, so you can’t touch her, but you CAN disconnect the artists which control her in order to defeat her. It’s the kind of concept for a boss fight that could only work for this type of character. I’m a sucker for the cute girl that provides her voice, but I love how the animator (video editor? the yellow one) actually attacks you with a mouse and lowers the brightness of the setting once he appears. Also, the mocap guy being the deeply-voiced type but still providing the adorable movements of her body. It’s such a great combo of characters, and their little extra art in the credits makes me like them even more. I just wish we could interact with them individually.

DK West was probably one of the most interesting characters visually, especially since I knew of every other NSR member long before the game came out, but I only just heard of him closer to the release. I wasn’t sure where he was placed, but I definitely assumed his gig was the weird shadow demon we saw in the trailers. When I finally saw him in game, I was shocked to hear him speak an entirely different language most of the time, which was really cool. Also, finding out he was tied to Zuke and wasn’t strictly an NSR artist really made him more interesting. You know, if his fucking shadow clone magic didn’t make him crazy cool enough. Even though I suck at his game and am not especially fond of his raps, the visual of him rapping with this giant monster behind him and dozens of weird shadow wingmen by his side hyping him up was probably one of the coolest in the entire game. The dark way they were hyping him up too gave such a bizarre atmosphere, especially since it parallels his seemingly chill and smiley demeanor. 

I definitely hope they’ll introduce new bosses as DLC in the future, and make them sort of in the same vein as DK West, where they aren’t the biggest artists ever, but they want to pick a fight with B2J. I’d kill for any extra content this game can provide.

Yinu is obviously special since she was the subject of the demo they put out for the game. Even though I knew all her bells and whistles, she and her mom still beat me a few times in the full game. Considering she’s semi-tied to story-ish spoilers I kinda want to go more into her in a separate section. It is worth considering playing the game first since it’s not hard (with the easy going deaths) and it’s short length.

1010 seriously grew on me as I learned more about them and interacted with them. I got their shtick when I first looked at them, but after seeing that animation of them touring the city on Youtube I was kinda falling for them. Then, I learned that they’re apparently repurposed navy war robots? I mean, maybe not them specifically, but it seems to heavily point in that direction, with the warship cars and “attention!”s and all. It took me a bit to get into their music too, but once I actually fought them and put their actions to the music I fell in love with it. I swear, Neon J’s weird dancing can has some of the smoothest moves in all of gaming. I don’t know whether they mocapped out those movements or got one of the greatest animators ever, but it looks so impossibly clean his part of the song gets me like 30x more hype than it would normally. 

Also, their little art piece of them looking at fan mail in the credits is probably one of the most adorable things ever. Even if they’re just Neon J’s puppets, that piece of art really makes it seem like they love every one of their fans. I’m not gonna lie, I might swoon a bit too if they picked me out and gave me some special attention.

Oh yeah, and the fact that Mayday was super sad in her showstopper against them was adorable and hilarious at the same time. The little tweaks they made to the showstopper for each fight were great.

Eve just has to be Lady Gaga, right? Like, an even crazier Lady Gaga. DJSS is Daft Punk (or any artist with a helmet persona, you know what I’m talking about), Sayu is Hatsune Miku, DK West is Kanye West, Yinu is a generic child protege, 1010 is a KPop boyband (just pick one) and Eve is Lady Gaga. That’s just how things are. But, again, this is the kind of boss fight that only this type of character could provide. It’s not just surreal imagery, it’s ARTISTIC surreal imagery. The fight is so mesmerizing in every way, especially by how it starts off so slow and calm and progresses to insanity, as well as the increased emotional investment in the fight making you feel so much more into it than just “That’s the boy band. Let’s fight.” Not only does it get you more invested, but it makes her artistic persona go deeper than just “she looks weird.” She is genuinely conflicted about her relationship with Zuke, and naturally that leads her to literally split him and Mayday apart. That mechanic specifically was the coolest, although I do wish they made it more obvious when you needed to switch over to a different side. I was getting pulverized by her fight too, since there were so many things to pay attention to. Her fight was definitely the best one. 

Tatiana and Spoilers:

Let’s be real with ourselves, the twist was so obvious. I do also think, though, that obvious twists aren’t bad if they’re just good reveals. At some point, a person just has experienced so many stories that “only pretty good” twists are easy to spot. It doesn’t mean that the twists are bad, it just means you yourself experienced.

I feel like her transition from rock to EDM was pretty understandable, even as a non-musician. She was so caught up in what she assumed was popular that it basically consumed her. It’s easy as an artist to want to forgo what you truly want to make in favor of what makes you popular, and clearly since her transition to EDM made her the CEO of the biggest company in the city (world?) that probably made her think she truly needed to change her outlook. Then, when she saw B2J try to bring it back, she sort of coined them as being as misguided as she was and knocked them down a peg. Plus, they were kinda being jerks about it.

It’s kinda like the Trolls sequel, where everyone pegs rock music fanatics as being too stuck up in their own heads to appreciate other types of music, which honestly seems more like the case than the alternative. When I first heard of the story of the game, I was seriously hoping they did put an asterisk on B2J’s ambitions because they were a bit sketchy from the start. 

That’s kinda where I want to talk about Yinu, because she was the true turning point in what they were doing. She’s literally 9 and yet she’s getting dragged into all this BS. When she said “I hate you all” at the end of her fight, and played a somber tune on her broken piano after the fight destroyed it, you kinda got a kick in the face to realize you’re kinda being an asshole to some of them. Sure, they fight back, but they wouldn’t fight in the first place if they didn’t have to. They are just people who play music under a joint name that B2J just so happened to get in hot water with. 

Then, of course, there’s Kliff, who also reeked of surprise villain, and who’s basically the embodiment of the bad side of B2J, where he just wanted to destroy for his own sake and not for the actual greater good. Once B2J realized their mistake, they backed off, but Kliff was so hard pressed to do what he planned on in the first place he wouldn’t stop. I kinda wish he got a bigger fight to his own since he’s clearly a big enough tech genius to divert a whole satellite into one specific building. Maybe the Elliecopter chase bit was his thing, but I do kind of wish he was there to fight against them too.

Even though Tatiana did kind of reform a bit quick, It’s still not too crazy to assume she could see that B2J was just misguided and the fact that they worked to revert their wrongdoings for her sake would make a pretty strong impressions. They clearly can hold their own, so it’s not like she wouldn’t want them to join NSR too. 

Oh yeah, and her boss fight was clock/time themed. If there’s a theme under space that I love, it’s clocks/time. 

And If I am to be respected by the internet, I must provide a negative opinion to balance out my positive one. I will say that the character model physics (like Mayday’s braids, DK West’s vest thing, Neon J’s fluffy neck thing, etc) got kinda funky at times. Especially DK West’s vest, which was completely messed up for every scene he was in... Also, even though the voices are mostly great, some lines felt a bit off. Just a bit. That good enough? Good.

But yeah anyway that’s another favorite game to add to the pile. Eventually I’m gonna have to compile a true list of my all-time favorite games/movies because I do kind of want to have a solid idea of what my all-time favorites are.

[sundropglass]

1, 5 and 23?

1 ;; theme song for your system?

>This< song gets the least "No not That One!!!!!!!!!!" reaction from inside and hits notes for most of the sys, so I'll take what I can get! (I know ive posted it a million times tho, so thats probably telling as it is)

5 ;; how long have you been aware that you’re a system?

2015 is when I started asking 'what the fuck' and 2018 was when I finally, finally accepted that I might have DID because maybe im not too evil after all

23 ;; what was your “oh shit i’m not a singlet” moment?

I hate the term singlet, I think its stupid and sounds dumb and weird and doesnt make sense for DID because of what DID means for me.

I've come to the conclusion of DID a few times in my life and suppressed it because it wasnt the right time, because I knew it would become a huge problem in my situation to realize shit was wrong. (and it was, I spent a long time fighting my way out of it. I'm still fighting but with less actual fighting nowadays)

Once I accepted it was DID, it was never a moment of "I'm more than one person".. Actually, I broke down crying because I realized I was less than one person. I was fragmented and not wholly there and it made sense and felt true. I cried because I was scared I wasnt able to fully love my fiance because my heart wasn't 'all there yet', and I wasnt sure if it'd ever be

The parts stuff of course was the propellant to figuring out What The Fuck Was Wrong With Me, but once I knew what parts were, it was almost a comfort getting to know more about them, and it was really easy to accept that parts could be anything because the brain is funky and I already had been explaining these things through art. Like a feeling that I knew all along, no biggie really.

It was the trauma and dissociation that really shocked me though, that finally I had words for my inability to connect, and maybe I wasnt secretly an alien or something not human and evil(I believed I might've been an angel, but evil and nonimportant) . That I was just a person and these were symptoms to a disorder.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ thats my POV of it anyway. I think there are other feelings about it, but it really stood out to me when I finally felt like I had words to explain both the parts, but more importantly, my disconnection

[tema-makes-art-sometimes]

rank classic fandom ships!

Classic Fandom Ships huh? Okiiii if I miss any let me know

1. USUK

1-5: negative possible incest out of 5 (quote my friend Lemon)

Do I ship it?: I’d rather get a booster shoot, thanks.

General Feelings: I can’t ship ships when one character raised the other, even if it’s an au where it didn’t happen, knowing that England is a caretaker to him in that way just kills it for me. There’s no way to make having a crush on someone you raised, distant or not, not be weird. No matter what that’s going to come off creepy. Doesn’t even matter if they’re blood related or anything. It’s still the idea of one nation being an adult while the other raised them since they were a little kid. It gives me the same vibe as dating your childhood babysitter. If you want this dynamic, why not try PruEng, DenEng or PortEng, same sunshine x raincloud aesthetic with 0% creepy under tones.

TLDR: You’re just in it for the Cute Jock x Angry Nerd dynamic and it shows.

2. GerIta (Ive already talked about.)

TLDR: If fandom ships were ice cream, GerIta would be vanilla. It’s a base line, it’s fine as it is and some people hate it for that exact reason. I like vanilla, it’s alright.

3. FRUK (Ive already talked about)

TLDR: 11/10 would pirate fight again.

4. Rochu (Ive already talked about)

TLDR: It vibes. It just vibes.

5. Spamano

1-5: -5

Do I ship it?: I’d rather not, thanks.

General Feelings: I just never liked spamano, again the Angry x Sunshine (which isnt what Romano is, but it’s how it’s often written) isn’t really fun to me? I used to hate it cause I don’t like tsundere’s in writing style cause I personally cannot understand them. Like my brain does not register well with aggressive insults being seen as compliments because it’s from X person. But that’s just me, I don’t do that shit I think “tsundere” needs to die. But that’s beside the point.

I don’t like it now for two reasons. One because of the same thing I said with USUK, I’m not comfortable with shipping pairs where one raised the other, no matter what it’s gonna be weird dynamic wise. Two is in my mind the merits of Spain as an older brother or father figure to Romano mean more than him as a love interest. It can create a lot of dynamics that are more fun both between Romano and Spain and Romano and his brother. It creates a situation where one is often in the position the other wanted. 

Vene having more money and general social support, but often having to play along in cherry high class situations which makes a lot of his relations, especially with Austria, feel kind of hallow. While Romano was more poor and seen as low class and crass, but he has much more honest and deep relationships with the small group of people he cares for. it creates situations where the brothers can envy one another and I dont know. I just like it better than leaving Romano with only something like Rome and letting Vene have Hungary and Austria.

TLDR: Let Romano have a father figure please he’s earned it.

6. PruAus

1-5: -2

Do I ship it?: No

General Feelings: If you like Prussia with someone slightly uptight and orderly, why not just use England instead? Their personalities work better together cause at least then he gets a partner that understands him being a feral punk gremlin. I’m biased in this regard I don’t like Austria as a character so take with a grain of salt. But I never cared for the dynamic. The only PruAus thing I ever liked with bubblyernie’s ask art school prussia blog, and that’s it. It feels like the rivalry dynamic but it doesn’t get to the fun part for me, but again I also get that I have a bias.

TLDR: Meh.

7. PruHun

1-5: 5

Do I ship it?: Y e s

General Feelings: I just like the idea of them being strong feral gremlins on horseback together. Powerful generals, good friends, just the idea of excited forest heathens on adventures. I don’t know, it’s just fun. If not romantic they would be ride or die friends and I cannot be convinced otherwise.

TLDR: 10/10 would feral gremlin in the woods again.

8. AusHun

1-5: -2

Do I ship it?: No

General Feelings:I never liked cause I always saw Hungary change around Austria versus other people, especially Prussia. Plus they’re canonly divorced. I’m not an expert on Hungary, but I just don’t care for it. There’s better ships. Though again, I am biased.

TLDR: Let them stay divorced, Hungary deserves better,

9. PruCan

1-5: 0

Do I ship it?: Nah

General Feelings: Nothing really to say on PruCan, I just see them as friends and ship them with other people. They’d be good gaming friends tho absolutely 110% catch those two raiding together. They’re gaming nerd buddies and I can respect that.

10. SuFin

1-5: -3

Do I ship it?: Fuck No.

General Feelings: I really don’t. I just don’t like it. I know mainline ship but I just- Every time I want to talk about the Nordics it comes up. I’m not well versed in Nordics. But every single time I try to talk about Finland, or any of the nordics. BUT ESPECIALLY FINLAND, it devolves into how Sweden plays into it, or how SuFin plays into it. Like I cannot talk about Finland without him being treated as Sweden’s accessory and it infuriates me. Let Finland be his own god damn character and then maybe I’ll like SuFin cause he’s never given his time to shine without having it feed into someone else.

TLDR: Finland is no one’s wife, fuck off.

11. DenNor

1-5: 0

Do I ship it?: Nah

General Feelings: Again, I never knew much about the Nordics, but the basic of the ship when I first saw it was ‘haha Norway chokes Denmark with his tie what a tsun-tsun hur hur’, which makes me really uncomfortable... as someone who doesn’t vibe with abuse=romantic feelings. I like NorFin myself, and Denmark is a ball of sunshine. I don’t hate it but it’s not really good.

TLDR: Why was the tie choking thing seen as funny/romantic? Am I missing something??

12. RusAme

1-5: 4

Do I ship it?: Sure

General Feelings: While it’s not my immediate first pick romance wise, I thoroughly enjoy all the RusAme there is out there. If not lovers, I still see them as ride or die friends. Because they’re both freakishly strong I feel like they’re the only ones who can really cut loose and use their full strength on one another even in the most small ways and it means the world to them that they can do that. No holding back just full open honesty with each other. Also the fact that it’s canon that people think they hate each other and they’re just like ‘nah man we pals’ is fucking great.

TLDR: Rock on you funky space lads.

[hskinhome]

[ My kin blog is @juicy-dude ]

Canon calls!! I copy//pasted from Google Docs so some words might seem funky or the layout may be weird. ^^;

Karkat Vantas 1 - Earth C - Dave & John

I don't remember a lot from the meteor other than at one point I think Kanaya was drinking something and then laughed. It was a purple drink (probably faygo oof) and it came out of her nose. I know that Dave liked to fuck around with music and he had that Hella Jeff and Sweet Bro comic he used to do. Nepeta and Terezi vandalized almost the whole meteor with their scribbles but otherwise, I don't remember there being a lot to work within forms of art. As annoying as he was, John was probably my moirail. He was the only other person that bothered to even attempt to pretend he was listening when I went off on a tangent about what was frustrating me other than Dave. That and, when they weren't aimed at me, he'd include me in planning out all these crazy elaborate pranks. I have a couple of memories on Earth C where we went out into some of the woods. I know that Gamzee, Sollux, and John were with me. John kept jumping out of nowhere and Gamzee almost got fed up and bashed his head in with a tree branch. My least favorite memory is of John dying the first time because he was the only human I really talked to at that point. One time Crab Dad and I were sparring and I remember it turned into kind of an arm wrestle with my sickle vs. his claw. Eridan was very manipulative towards Feferi but otherwise, his ego was the size of Mt. Everest towards the rest of us. Dave almost threw hands with fish dick, from what he tells me. Nepeta, Tavros, Jade, and John had a big group roleplay thing going on I think.

____________________________________

Karkat 2 - Doomed - Eridan & Sollux

Anger issues that never got fixed. Big depression from fuck if I know what. Doomed timeline because I don’t remember Earth C from this one. Terezi wasn’t a very fair judge, to put it subtly. She didn’t really share my feelings much to begin with and Vriska used my feelings for Terezi to manipulate me a lot. Terezi knew about it and let it happen. I remember her telling me this herself later on at some point. Eridan and I watched tons of movies together and we talked to each other about Sollux a lot, me in a flushed way and him in more of a pitched light.

____________________________________

Mituna Captor - Dream Bubbles - Cronus & Kurloz

It's mostly memories from before "the accident" where Cronus was a pretty rad friend with whom I exchanged meaningless insults with and shit. It was mean and shit, yeah, but we knew we were just dicking around. Kurloz was my moirail for a long time and the three of us hung out a lot. The only reason Kurloz stopped liking Cronus after what happened was because of his reactions to what happened to me and the impact of the incident on my brain and how I didn't remember him the same way. Latula wasn't all that in the picture until right before the accident and she was a lot like Paige from Atypical (if you haven't watched that show on Netflix, I highly recommend you do) where she had a lot of rules and shit that she needed to work through. I don't know entirely when, but Kurloz eventually was able to get it through my dense, mashed potato brain after the incident that she wasn't all that great for me and, after hyperfocusing on what he'd pointed out for a little while, I found myself agreeing with him and eventually ended my matespritship with Latula. Kurloz and Meulin didn't work out for some reason can't remember, but I know he told me what happened and after a while, Kurloz and I got together as matesprits. I stumbled upon one of those memory bubbles and it happened to be one of Cronus's memories with me before my brain got fried. He caught me "snooping" through the memory and, after realizing what memory he had left laying around, we talked about it and I understood him better, like I did before the accident. It didn't take long for him to worm his way into my pale quadrant. I wore a sweater instead of that suit. It was yellow with black stripes, but still had the Gemini symbol on it. Other than that, I wore jeans and yellow converse-type shoes. I didn’t wear my helmet unless I was skateboarding. Cronus was my grape and Kurloz was my plum. I think I was their banana or something like that but that just came to me so.

____________________________________

Kankri Vantas - Dream Bubbles - Cronus

I took some time away from others to try and have one of those little “self-discovery” things. I don’t think anyone tried to stop me from leaving, but I remember being very close with Cronus. I don’t remember who it was or what exactly they said, but someone had threatened me, which was my final little push to just go. Everyone was sick of my constant talking, so I went on my own for a while. I had found myself a pretty secluded place that wasn’t too far from a salamander village, but it wasn’t too close, either. Their language was beyond what I could learn and so I had to go off gestures for communication, which helped me realize that I didn’t need to speak so much to talk to someone. I worked mostly on my writings and how I portrayed myself to my peers while separated. My writings shifted from mostly lectures to strictly poetry gradually. Cronus and I used to watch Grease very often before I left. It kind of started to change my usual attire too? I know that I didn’t wear just a straight up sweater or the leggings anymore. I wore dark red jeans and a black/red letterman over a thinner red turtleneck. The lettermen jacket had a red cancer symbol on the logo.

____________________________________

Mallek Adalov - Tegiri & Lanque

Tegiri and I were big nerds for ninja/martial arts type shit. We nerded out at convention type of things and he eventually became my moirail. Lanque started out as my kismesis but at some point we quad jumped and he ended up as my matesprit. He and I spent a lot of time on rooftops overlooking the city and talking about everything. I think that’s when we quad jumped. We moved in together at some point and we couldn’t decide on the color for the walls, so it ended up looking a lot like the dress from Sleeping Beauty. MC’s route with me was the one where they yeeted out of my car so I never really got to know them. Diemen was a close friend, but he shut me out of his more personal life a lot.

{Please let me know if this entire thing sent or not if you see this!}

Go message them if any of this sounds familiar! @juicy-dude

-Mod Nepeta