#bring myself to even attempt joining anything my sophomore year. we are Not doing that this time around ❌

[pallases]

AUDITIONS!!!!

[zaikaglow]

Boundaries

Pairing: Reiner x Reader, Bertholdt x reader

Summary: You Reiner and Bertholdt have been friends forever but recently you've entered a relationship with Reiner. Poor Bertholdt has been a love sick puppy but Reiner’s such a good friend that he doesn’t mind sharing! As long as Berty can stick to a few boundaries

Content Warnings: Male maturation, Oral-domming, overstimulation

The three of you had always been the best of friends. You, Reiner, and Bertholdt childhood friends from the same neighborhood who’d ride bikes and go adventuring through the woods. Best of friends even through highschool and even into college where you had all managed to go to the same place! You loved both those boys of course you did, you went to all their games and when Bertholdt’s basketball game or Reiner’s football game would come to an end you’d always be there to run out and interpret them before the locker room to give them a big hug not minding how sweaty and gross they were.

 The three of you were all happy with your little found family until sophomore year of college things began to change. It was at a house party the three of you had gone to together where Bertl had gone to get your purse for you when Reiner had finally made his move. Huddled in the corner by the fridge Reiner had placed his big palm against your cheek, leaned in and told you that he had liked you as more than friends for a long time and leaned in for a kiss that you reciprocated. Unbeknownst to the both of you Bertl was watching from across the room feeling his heart shatter into pieces watching Reiner kiss the girl he was in love with.

The three of you remained friends but things were much harder on Bertl than you and Reiner knew. He would never want to ruin his friends happiness but it felt like his heart was frequently being shattered over and over again. Like when Reiner’s games would finish and he’d watch you run out to give him a hug and Reiner would pick you up, swing you around and give you a deep kiss. You’d still go and hug Bertholdt after his games but he would just wrap both arms around you and place his chin on top of your head swinging softly wishing he would be able to pick you up and give you a kiss as you’d wrap your legs around his waist. But all he could do was inhale the scent from the top of your head and kick himself for not confessing before Reiner.

Sitting on the couch of Reiner and Bert’s shared apartment, Reiner was rubbing your shoulders in an attempt to make up for how hard he had pushed you at the gym this morning when Reiner had said “You know Bertl’s in love with you”. you sighed and looked down at your hands, this line of thought always bringing a twinge of guilt to your heart. You had feelings for Bert before the two of you had gotten together but Reiner had made the first move and you couldn't wait forever for Bert to get his nerves up. “I had a feeling that was the case” you utter “well if you might be open to it I wouldn’t mind you throwing him a bone” Reiner says “You mean you wouldn't mind him throwing me a bone?” you say smirking. “Ha ha you're a very funny kitten, I mean I have a few boundaries but I think it be something that I'd be into seeing. It’s not like I’ve never thought about doing something to him myself”.

It was Friday night, a time that was supposed to be movie night for the three of you but lately Bert had been sneaking off to his room to avoid them. Unable to keep taking in the sight of you wrapped in Reiner’s arms, nose nuzzling his neck while Bert was lucky if you rested your feet in his lap. Well tonight Bert figured he’d have time to stop by the fridge and grab some water before sneaking off to his room to avoid movie night but when he turned around he saw you with one hand against the wall and the other against the counter trapping him in the kitchen with no line of escape. “You’ve been avoiding me Bertl” You were wearing an oversized sweatshirt and some short sleep shorts along with some knee high socks. “You know it’s really been hurting my feelings” you say tilting your head down, Bert’s eyes widen a look of heartbreak crossing his face “I didn't mean to i'm really really sorry I-I can’t e-explain right now but-t I-im really sorry y/n” dropping your grip on the counter your make your way to the scared lanky boy placing your hands on on his chest moving up till you reach the collar of his basketball club jacket and pull him down to your eye level “make it up to me then?” your lips make contact with his and you can feel his bottom lip tremble between yours before he gently pushes you off before stumbling away back hitting the fridge and sinking down before placing his head in his hands “y/n” he groans “you don't even know how much I want that but Reiner’s my friend”. Then there's a laugh as Reiner comes out from his bedroom taking a seat on the couch “You have no idea how much I appreciate that Bert, but really it's okay. You and me just have to go over some ground rules first but I really don't mind”

The three of you are sitting on the couch, the two of them in their boxers and you now only in a pair of lace panties and knee highs. Reiner has his arm around Bert’s shoulder sitting next to him while you're on the ground kneeling between Bert’s knee’s. Both hand’s placed on Bert’s knees you slowly start to slide them up until they reach the waistband of his boxers pulling out his cock. It’s thick and long, slightly darker than the rest of skin, the fact that he’s uncircumcised makes the head of his cock already already glissaning. You start by where his dick meets his pelvis starting to kiss up it almost reaching the head when he places his hands on the top of your head “umm I think maybe you should’t do that because I’ll cum”  he looks embarrassed face starting to turn red “but uh can I. uh can I do something for you”? Reiner grabs you under the armpits picking you up to move you on the couch while Bertl exchanges places with you now getting on his knees. You lift your hips up sliding off your panties, Reiner taking them from you. You bring one leg up and hook a finger under your sock ready to take it off when Bert stutters out “A-actully c-can you k-keep those on” he says red flush spreading from his cheeks to his ears and chest. “Anything for you Berty” you say, spreading your legs placing your knees over his shoulders. His lids are heavy with lust as he moves his mouth to make contact with your warm wet core. You throw your head back as he starts to kiss and suck on your swollen nub, Reiner has a hand on the back of your neck with one hand the other is jerking himself off with the panties you removed, eyes trained on how Bertholdt’s tongue is moving against you. Your hands go to grip Bert’s thick black hair as you feel yourself coming undone at the way his tongue circles around your clit, that coil winding tighter and tighter in your core until it snaps. And when it does you yank him by his hair up to meet your lips, his lips and cheeks are wet with your release “Okay now fuck me Berty” his eye’s go wide and he slips his boxers off. You move towards the intersection of the couch laying down, placing one foot against the floor and propping the other up on the back of the couch. Bert climbs up to meet you and you can feel the weight of his thick cock on your tummy and you can feel the wet spot forming from his leaking head. He takes a look back at Reiner who’s starting to clean himself up with the same pair of panties he had been jerking himself off with “It’s okay Berty just remember what I told you” Bert nods at him before turning back to you. He kisses you as he takes his cock in his hand and lines it up with your entrance. When he slides in you gasp. It must be because he’s not circumcised like Reiner but the sensation is overwhelmingly smooth. It’s so warm and slick and feels so good when his wet head slides against your g-spot. You almost feel a little guilty at how much your enjoying the sensation. When you and Reiner do things bareback sometimes it could hurt from how dry his dick was compared to how slick you were, but things with Bert? They were just oh so smooth and oh so moan inducing. Your arms wrap around his neck holding him close and he’s kissing your neck when you feel yourself starting to reach your second orgasm “oh god oh okay I think i'm going to cum” and at the mention of your impending orgasm Bert can’t help but feel like he’s about to join you hips starting to stutter at every thrust. Reiner sits up a little “Bert? Remember what we talked about?” you can hear the annoyance in his voice but you just feel so good that you just can't seem to stop holding onto bertl and he cant stop his thrusting. He places a sloppy kiss on your cheek as he cums and you can feel the warmth pouring into you. Suddenly you feel him slide out of you and you notice Reiner is holding him by the hair one of his hands wrapped around Bert’s jaw “what did I tell you Bert”? The dark hair boy is panting and looks afraid as he says “Not to cum in her”

“And what did you just do”

“Finish inside her”

“Yeah you did and now you’re going to clean up the mess you made”. Reiner take’s Bertholdt’s hair and drags his face down to your leaking cunt. His tongue makes contact with your swollen hole and your legs start to shake at the overstimulation. “That’s right. You’re going to get her nice and cleaned up for me and then if you want the chance to as so much see her pretty tits again you're going to clean up after me to, you got that” Bert can only nod in agreement as he tries not to focus on the fact that he’s scraping out his own cum with his tongue from your cunt. Reiner pushes Bert out of the way, the poor dark haired boy catching himself on his elbows before his back hits the floor as Reiner pulls you up and onto his cock. “Mmm it's too much babe”. And it is you've already cum twice and now your big rough boyfriend is forcing you to ride his massive cock. “Come on kitten you can handle it” he says before his lips go to meet your tit. He’s licking up and down on your right nipple, his big calloused palm squeezing your left. When he hears you start to whimper again he moves his hands to your hips and start to move you up and down like his little fuck toy untill you feel his cock twitch inside you spilling his seed inside you and starts dripping down your thighs. Reiner breathes a sigh of relief before picking you up off his cock and gently placing you back into a sitting position on the couch. His hand gently picks up under your knees spreading your legs apart but you're too overstimulated to even process what's happening, head just lolling back against the couch.

“Now we've been friends for a long time Bert so Im willing to forgive, I might even let you fuck her again. But first your going to clean up the mess I just made”

[cherienymphe]

Best Friends Forever (Fratboy!Peter Parker x Reader)

This is my entry for @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​  What’s Old is New Again Challenge! This fic is inspired by #18, “A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. – Lana Turner. Hope you all enjoy!

warnings: NON-CON, manipulation, roofie 

DNI IF THIS OFFENDS YOU

summary: Peter Parker is your best friend. Peter Parker is your only friend. Peter wants to keep it that way.

~

Peter Parker was your best friend. In fact, Peter Parker was your only friend. The two of you had been inseparable for as long as you could remember. You grew up together attached at the hip, and therefore, you did everything together.

He was there, watching in awe when you pulled your first loose tooth. You did the same when he pulled his first one weeks later. You helped each other learn how to ride bikes, double dutch, and even attempt to skateboard once. The two of you had broken so many bones together that you had lost count.

You weathered middle school together and the absolute insanity that was high school. You two had been best friends all your life, and it had never been anything more than that, so you both were equally confused when catty high school girls and bored high school guys would constantly accuse the two of you of dating. It was a thought that had never crossed your minds, and it was something you often laughed about.

There were absolutely no secrets between you two, and despite that, you still found yourself completely frozen in shock as you watched Peter slip in through your bedroom window one night during sophomore year. He was covered in bruises, and the oddly familiar red and blue fit he wore had some tears. You had stumbled off of your bed, running to grab him as he struggled to stand.

Realization hit you as he leaned against your wall, chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath, and your eyes almost popped out of your head.

“Y-you’re Spider-Man?”

It had come out louder than you had intended, and he was frantic as he covered your mouth, begging you to keep quiet. Neither one of you slept much that night as you demanded answers from him. You remembered feeling upset and betrayed that he had been hiding something so important from you, but even worse, you felt worried.

Your best friend had been put in danger so many times while you had been none the wiser. From then on, you demanded that he pass through your house to change out of his suit before going home. Not only for it to be safe for him to get home, but to put your own heart at ease too. It gave you a sense of comfort to see for yourself that he ended the night in one piece.

It was a tough secret to keep, incredibly trying to keep your thoughts to yourself as you watched his crime fighting be reported day in and day out. It was difficult to keep your worry at bay when he was late sneaking into your bedroom or to keep yourself from crying out when he was especially hurt. You were the only one who knew the truth, and the gravity of it served to further isolate the two of you.

Peter was literally your only friend and had been for as long as you could remember. What did it matter that you had never had any girlfriends, even now during college? Sure, you had always envied that special bond some girls seemed to have with each other. Of course, it bothered you a little that you had never experienced what it was like to have a best friend who could relate to you in every single way, but Peter was plenty. Yeah, there were some things that as a guy, he would never fully be able to empathize with, but his sympathy and well intentions were enough.

Besides, having a guy best friend came with its perks. Peter understood guys way better than you could ever hope to, and he was always more than eager to give you advice. Thanks to him, you could probably call yourself an expert on them, but in the end, it never did any good. You had never had a boyfriend, never even anything remotely close. Sure, it bothered you, a lot, but in the end you were grateful.

Peter saved you from regret more times than you could count. Every guy you had ever vocalized interest in turned out to be absolute garbage. At least, that was what Peter told you, and you trusted him. He was never wrong about these things. Tristan, an upperclassman that you’d had a crush on during your freshman year, had apparently been a racist creep. James from your junior year was a party animal with anger issues. Your first year of college, you’d fallen head over heels for a literature major named Logan, but Peter had to be the bearer of bad news when he informed you that the guy had a girlfriend back home and about three more on campus.

After that, you had just given up completely. You saw no point to any of it when every guy you had ever liked turned out to be awful. In the end, Peter was truly the only one you could trust. You were beyond thankful for him, and the day you could bring a guy around with Peter’s approval was the day you would know you found a good one. Unfortunately, you were starting to think that day would never come. You dreaded the day Peter would finally get a girlfriend, because then you would truly be a lonely wreck.

You found it odd that Peter had been single all this time too. This wasn’t high school anymore. In college, girls liked guys who were smart and who read and knew how to have conversations outside of sports. Add the fact that Peter had grown to be quite attractive and had even joined a fraternity, he was a catch. So it was safe to say you didn’t get it, and told him so one night.

“I’ve just never met the right girl,” he said with a shrug, distracted.

“Oh, come on,” you scoffed in disbelief. “So many great girls have shown interest in you. What about MJ? She was tall and funny and her hair-! God, her hair.”

He snorted, a faint smirk on his lips.

“I just wasn’t into her.”

“Why not?” you wondered.

MJ was practically perfect, and you had never known Peter to be nitpicky. He just shrugged, eyes focused on his laptop as he typed away.

“Peter,” you whined. “This is just sad. One of us has to start dating soon or we’ll just end up staring at each other in our old age.”

“I’ve dated,” he said, offended as his eyes cut up to you.

You rolled your eyes, flicking your pencil at him.

“I mean dating dating, not whatever it is you and your “frat bros” do every weekend. That house has seen more girls than a gynecologist clinic,” you complained.

“You know I’m not like that,” he said, shutting his laptop and setting it aside.

While he was somewhat right, he’d still had his own fair share of fun with some of the girls who went to their parties.

“You may not be as bad as the rest of them, but you can’t fool me, Peter. Remember, there are no secrets between us,” you replied, leaning back into the couch. “When are you going to get a girlfriend?”

He didn’t answer, and you continued.

“I know you want one. You’ve mentioned it several times, and I know dozens of girls that would be thrilled to be given the chance.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, giving you his full attention now.

“I just…haven’t found the right girl,” he lamely repeated.

You opted to leave it alone, skeptically eyeing him before reaching out to turn on the tv. You could feel Peter’s eyes on you, but he fortunately spoke before you had a chance to ask him what was up.

“To be honest…there was a time when I thought…you’d be my girlfriend,” he quietly confessed, almost like he was afraid of your reaction.

You looked at him, shock and disbelief coursing through you. A humorless chuckle left your lips.

“You’re kidding…”

He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes were completely serious.

“No, I’m not. It was senior year of high school and… I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I know we were teased about it for years and the idea was crazy to us, but one day…I realized that you were the person I was closest to in the world…and I wanted to be closer.”

Your eyes were wide, lips parted in awe as you listened to this confession. You had never known, and you wondered how you could have missed it. What kind of friend were you?

“It was the only secret I ever kept from you…”

You turned to fully look at him.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

He shrugged, dark eyes studying you.

“I knew you didn’t feel the same way, so I just forced myself to let it go. And I did,” he answered.

He was right. You had never felt the same way, and you started to wonder what would have happened if he had confessed his feelings to you. How awkward that could have been… It could have ruined everything.

“Peter…I can’t believe you did that. That must have…sucked,” you whispered.

He chuckled.

“I’m not going to lie. It kind of did, but I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. You’re special to me, and nothing would have been worth making our friendship weird or just destroying it altogether. It turned out to be nothing more than a crush, anyway. Just…teenage hormones.”

You felt your heart clench, wondering if you would have done the same. It must have been torture for him to swallow his feelings just to keep things comfortable between you two, no matter how fleeting the whole thing was for him.

“Really, it’s no big deal, Y/N. I’m long over it, now,” he waved you off.

You chuckled, moving past the brief shock you’d just experienced.

“I’m glad for that. If you told me you still had feelings for me, I probably would’ve accused you of sabotage all these years.”

“Sabotage,” he scoffed. “Listen, every single guy you’ve been into was downright awful. You literally have the worst taste in men-.”

“I do not!”

“You do, Y/N. Honestly, if it wasn’t for me, who knows what you would have gotten yourself into.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Just for that, you’re paying for the takeout, tonight.”

 ~

“Botany? That’s crazy! I want to go into agriculture,” you said with a laugh.

The guy before you, Harry, chuckled with you. The two of you were tucked into a quiet corner of the kitchen. The rest of the house was vibrating with a deep bass, the sound of noisy college students filling your ears. Parties weren’t your thing, but frat parties especially were definitely not your thing. Somehow, Peter had finally talked you into attending one of his house’s infamous parties, and you hadn’t even been in the building for five minutes before you grabbed a drink with as little alcohol as possible and hid in the kitchen.

It was miraculous really that you bumped into an attractive guy who was equally uncomfortable with these things. He was funny and charming, and he wanted to study plants. You tried not to get ahead of yourself, but someone else might say it was fate that you two ran into each other. Hell, you ran into each other at Peter’s frat house, so the chances that they knew each other were high. Maybe Peter would have good things to tell you about him.

As if he was summoned by your thoughts, your eyes connected with familiar brown ones as he poked his head into the kitchen.

“Peter!”

You waved him over, and his eyes flitted between you and Harry as he approached you.

“Hey, Parker. I didn’t know you knew Y/N,” Harry chuckled, taking a sip of his drink.

“Yeah, Peter and I go way back. He’s my best friend,” you said, pulling Peter over.

Your best friend was being unusually quiet, and you frowned. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, noticing the way his eyes had hardened. Was he okay?

“Y/N was just telling me that she wants to go into agriculture. We’ll probably be taking a lot of classes together in about two years,” Harry threw out.

Peter chuckled at that, but it sounded off, and he turned to look at you.

“I figured you’d be hiding in the kitchen, so I came to find you,” Peter said, wrapping an arm around your waist.

A shudder passed through you at the unfamiliar gesture, but you brushed it off.

“Oh, you know how I am. I’m glad I ran into Harry though! He’s been keeping me company, so you can just go back to the party if you want. Your friends are probably looking for you,” you replied.

Peter had become quite popular since you two started college, and you knew that the demand for his attention was rather high. You often felt bad about dragging him down with you. You weren’t really the social type.

“Yeah, Parker, I can look out for Y/N for you,” Harry offered, a friendly smile on his lips.

You returned it and noticed the way Peter’s jaw ticked, and confusion filled you.

“Actually, I came to find Y/N so that we can go,” Peter bit out.

Your frown deepened, but you didn’t question it as Peter gripped your hand.

“Oh, okay. I guess we’re leaving. See you around, Harry!”

He waved back as Peter pulled you out of the kitchen. His grip was tight on your hand as he weaved through swaying bodies and drunk students. Again, you wondered if he was upset about something. It was Peter, so you hardly ever saw him upset. You breathed in the fresh air when the two of you made it outside, and you took the time to eye him.

“Peter…you alright?”

He took a deep breath, chest heaving before he looked at you with a smile. He looked more like himself and you returned it.

“Yeah, I’m just…not feeling too good,” he answered.

“Oh,” you sadly said. “Are you getting sick?”

He shrugged, hand in his pockets.

“I don’t know. I probably had too much to drink. Mind if I crash at your place?”

You chuckled, shaking your head.

“You’re always welcome to sleep over, you know that.”

It was quiet for a while between you two as you walked back to your apartment. His hand was soft on yours, and the way his arm kept brushing against yours brought comfort to you. You were so used to his presence, borderline dependent on it, and just knowing he was beside you was reassuring.

“I love you, Peter, but please don’t invite me to anymore parties,” you suddenly whispered, a hint of mock fear in your voice.

He barked a laugh, and you joined him.

“All of them aren’t that bad, I promise,” he chuckled. “Did you really hate it that much?”

You hummed, releasing a sigh.

“Maybe I didn’t hate it all that much,” you admitted after some time.

He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye as a wistful smile fell over your lips, eyes gazing at the sky.

“So…how do you know Harry?”

His hand tightened around your own just the slightest.

“He’s in another frat,” he answered with a scoff. “He’s a spoiled rich kid who thinks he can get anything he wants by throwing money at it.”

You rolled your eyes with a shake of your head.

“Somehow, I’m not shocked by that, but… You know what? I don’t care.”

He stopped walking, pulling you to a halt with him, and he stared at you with a frown.

“What? What do you mean?”

You shrugged.

“I like him. We have a lot in common and he’s hilarious and so cute. Maybe… Maybe I’m expecting too much, you know?”

Peter looked even more confused, jaw clenching as his frown deepened.

“What are you saying?”

“I mean… Yes, I’m a huge romantic and I want a boyfriend, a serious boyfriend, like I have for years, but… You have always been a girlfriend kind of guy. It’s no secret that you’re open to a serious relationship, and you claim the only reason that hasn’t happened yet is because you haven’t found the right girl, but… Peter, that’s never stopped you from having fun,” you elaborated.

He didn’t respond, and you sighed.

“I’m just saying that maybe I should do the same. Maybe I should stop trying to make a boyfriend out of every guy I’m into and just have fun. Like you!”

He forced a chuckle past his lips.

“That’s…that’s not like you…”

“I know, but… I’m tired of being alone,” you shrugged. “We’re in college, now, and the chances of me finding a boyfriend are pretty low. Let you tell it, a good portion of the guys here are trash, but that only matters if you’re looking for something serious, and I don’t think I want that anymore.”

Peter was uncharacteristically quiet…again, and you tilted your head at him.

“That’s…a big change for you,” he murmured.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “…but I’m really into Harry. You’ll help me, right?”

Your pleading gaze met his dark one, slightly frowning at the way he was looking at you. He pursed his lips.

“Please, Peter? I really like him, and you know him so well.”

He looked away with a small sigh. He briefly closed his eyes before eventually nodding, and you smiled. He looked at you with a grin on his lips, taking your hand again as he continued the trek down the sidewalk.

“Yeah. Leave it to me, Y/N, and I’ll help you get laid in no time,” he relented.

You squealed, reaching up to shake his shoulders as you pushed him along.

“You’re an angel!”

He chuckled.

“What are best friends for?”

 ~

“Okay, I’ll admit, that was much better than I was expecting,” Harry relented.

“See! I told you, I am an excellent judge when it comes to these things,” you replied as the two of you walked out of the theatre.

It was the sixth date the two of you had been on in 4 weeks. True to his word, Peter had helped you out, and that next morning after the party, you’d woken up to a text from Harry Osborn himself. A huge grin had spread out over your face, and you didn’t hesitate to reply.

The two of you had been talking nonstop since then about practically any and everything. It turns out that you hadn’t been premature in thinking the two of you had so much in common. It was true! It was almost suspicious how much of the same things you liked, including horror films.

“Listen, the storyline didn’t seem all that original, and when I had watched the trailer, I felt like I’d seen the entire thing in less than 2 minutes,” he defended.

“Okay, okay, that I can understand, but ever since I’d missed out on seeing both Insidious and The Conjuring in theatres because I thought they were going to suck, I vowed to myself ‘never again’.”

“Yikes! Both of those films were great. I just know you still kick yourself over that one,” he laughed.

“It literally haunts me,” you groaned. “I know experiencing both of those in the theatre must have been amazing.”

Harry seemed to find your regret amusing, and he stopped to look at you with a smile on his face.

“Hey, so uh, my frat is throwing a party this weekend. I mean, we do just about every weekend, but I was thinking maybe you could come…as my…date this weekend?”

Your eyes widened a bit, and you felt your face heat up. He seemed nervous to ask you, like he didn’t know how you’d feel about it, and it was wild to you. You really liked Harry, and you thought you had made that more than obvious over the past month. Sure, Peter was right when he said he was a bit of a snob, but it wasn’t overbearingly so to the point that it became a turn off. Crazily enough, you could see Harry being more than just ‘fun’.

“I’d love that,” you honestly replied.

The corner of his mouth pulled upwards into a smirk, and he stepped closer to you on the deserted sidewalk.

“Yeah…?”

You nodded, looking up at him as he got closer. Neither one of you said anything as he reached up to gently grip your jaw, leaning in until his lips pressed against yours. You sharply inhaled, closing your eyes as you savored this. His lips were soft, and the way he moved them against yours told you that he was experienced.

That didn’t bother you. Truth be told, you had always wanted to be with someone who knew what they were doing, because honestly, you had no idea. You felt flutters deep in your stomach, and you shuffled closer to him when a cool breeze blew by. He pulled away just a little, opening his eyes to look at you as you did the same.

“Come on. Let me walk you back to your place,” he offered.

You happily gripped his hand as he did just that.

You felt giddy, absolutely on cloud nine as you leaned your head on his shoulder. Maybe you were getting a bit ahead of yourself, but a nice and rich frat guy was asking you to be his date to his house’s party. In context, this whole thing was showing a lot of promise. Guys like him normally liked to keep their options open, and him actually claiming you as his date was making somewhat of a statement.

You waved him goodbye as you made your way inside the complex, lips still tingling from the second kiss he’d given you just outside. You were still smiling when you rounded the corner that led to your hall, pausing as your eyes fell on a familiar figure outside of your door.

“Peter, hey!”

He pulled himself to his feet with a small groan, stretching as you fished your keys out of your purse.

“Where have you been? I’ve been waiting here for over an hour,” he said, glancing at his watch.

You gave him a sheepish look as you let him go in first.

“Sorry. I went to go see a movie with Harry,” you answered.

“Oh,” he said in a small voice. “You’re still seeing that guy?”

“That guy,” you scoffed with a small chuckle. “Isn’t he your friend?”

“Yeah, sort of, I guess…”

“You staying over tonight?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder.

“I really wasn’t planning to, but since I’ve been waiting this long, I don’t want to go back to the house in the dark.”

You hummed, opening your drawer of takeout menus to figure out what you should order.

“So…how are things going with Harry?”

You couldn’t stop the smile that fell over your lips.

“Great actually,” you said, sounding surprised. “He asked me to be his date to the party his frat is throwing this weekend.”

Peter’s eyes were wide as you glanced up at him, dark eyebrows raised as he looked at you.

“Really…”

“Yeah! I don’t know… I wasn’t exactly planning for this to be anything serious, you know? I wanted to experience some light fun for once in my life, but now… I think I can see us actually being something,” you whispered.

Peter didn’t reply right away, only humming in response.

“Are you going to the party?”

He blinked, heaving a sigh before shaking his head.

“Nah. I’m not really a fan of the kind of parties they throw,” he said with a shrug.

“What do you mean?”

He waved you off.

“They can just get pretty wild. They regularly get noise complaints and don’t really monitor how much alcohol people are drinking until it’s too late and there’s throw up everywhere,” he explained with a frown.

“Oh…”

You were a bit disappointed that Peter wasn’t going to be there, but you had to remind yourself to stop being so dependent upon him. The two of you couldn’t stay attached at the hip forever, and at some point, you had to start making a social life for yourself…by yourself.

 ~

Friday night came much quicker than expected, and you were all dressed and ready to go. The house wasn’t far from your place, and since it was still daylight, you didn’t mind walking. You’d worn comfortable shoes, so it didn’t bother you.

Even though you would probably be considered an early arriver, the place was already lively when you stepped through the door. Everywhere you turned, you were met with someone’s back or chest, and you struggled to maneuver yourself through the bodies. You didn’t recognize anyone, and almost wished that Peter had come with you, growing nervous until you spotted a familiar head of dark hair.

You approached Harry with a smile, reaching out to grab his arm. His eyes were wide when he turned to face you, and you frowned when he maneuvered his arm out of your grip. Your frown only deepened when he stepped away from you, glancing away, and that was when you noticed the girl at his side.

She hadn’t been paying attention, gaze elsewhere, but she smiled when she finally turned to look at you. She was blonde and beautiful and had perfect teeth, dazzling you as she grinned. Her perfectly manicured hands wrapped around Harry’s arm as she leaned into him.

“Hey! Are you a friend of Harry’s?”

She seemed sweet, and confusion filled you at their familiar body language.

“Babe, this is Y/N. She’s super close with my friend Peter,” Harry answered, barely sparing you a glance.

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you eyed them.

“Oh! I’ve yet to meet Peter, but I’ve heard you mention him sometimes. I’m Scarlet, Harry’s girlfriend,” she introduced herself.

If it all possible, you probably would have thrown up, but you hadn’t eaten anything all day, too nervous about tonight.

“Oh, wow! I don’t think Peter ever mentioned Harry having a girlfriend,” you responded, hoping it sounded casual.

You could feel the man in question’s eyes on you, but you didn’t spare him a glance.

“Well, I’ve never actually met Peter, and Harry and I only recently go back together…what was it? Two months ago?”

“Two months ago…wow…”

You didn’t know what to say, and you finally understood the full meaning of ‘speechless’ in that moment.

“Yeah, Harry didn’t have any plans this weekend as far as I knew, so I decided to come down and surprise him. You should have seen his face when I showed up on the doorstep an hour ago,” she laughed.

You joined her, feeling like you were going to be sick.

“I’ll let you two catch up. It was nice to meet you!”

“You too,” Scarlet said, waving goodbye as you turned and pushed yourself through the crowd.

There were tears in your eyes, and your body was shaking. Were you on the verge of a panic attack? You stumbled over your own feet as you attempted to make your way to the door. So focused on the baby pink polish on your toes, you didn’t notice the figure before you until your head was colliding with their chest.

You stumbled back, almost falling had it not been for a familiar pair of hands. You looked up in shock, and everything crashed into you as your eyes met Peter’s. His gaze was inquiring, worry coloring his features as he studied you.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, letting it fall against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“What happened?”

“H-Harry has a girlfriend,” you whispered.

You felt him tense against you.

“…what?”

“I mean… I thought… You said he was just some spoiled rick kid. You never mentioned a girlfriend,” you said, looking up at him.

“I didn’t know. Honest. They broke up forever ago,” he replied, pulling you against him.

“Yeah, well apparently, they got back together two months ago. The whole time we’d been talking and going out together he…,” you trailed off, shaking your head. “He treated me like I was practically a stranger.”

Peter’s jaw ticked, and he moved to go past you, but you stopped him. His dark eyes were focused on Harry no doubt, but you pressed your hands into his chest.

“Peter, let it go. Please! Just…stay with me? I don’t think I want to go home…”

The last thing you wanted was to lay in your bed and remind yourself of what a disaster tonight was turning out to be. Peter heaved a sigh, hands tightening on you before reluctantly nodding. He pulled you along towards the door.

“Come on. We can just go to the party at my house,” he offered.

You nodded, leaning against him as he walked you out. You wiped at your cheek, unsure of when a few tears had spilled over. You had fooled yourself into dreaming of more with Harry and look where it got you. Even if you had still only wanted something casual, there was no way you would have knowingly got involved with a guy who had a girlfriend. That wasn’t who you were.

“I thought…I thought you weren’t coming,” you whispered.

“I wasn’t, but… I didn’t want to leave you at a party where the only person you knew was Harry. I’m glad I did come,” he murmured. “What an ass…”

“Don’t worry about it, Peter. Really. Maybe this is just a sign that I should stop trying to force something with every guy I like. It never turns out well,” you sighed.

Peter’s frat house was just as lively when you guys moseyed inside. A few of his brothers recognized you, and you waved at them. Peter’s arm tightened around your waist, but you didn’t mind it. You knew what other guys at the party would think, but you didn’t care. You were done with guys, and all you wanted was to hang out with Peter, the only guy you had ever been able to trust. So if they mistook you as Peter’s girl, and left you alone because of it, that was fine with you.

The two of you were attached at the hip throughout the night. Peter had gotten both of you drinks, and hours later, you were still nursing that same drink. This was never your crowd, and the more you made your way around the room with Peter, the more obvious it became. He didn’t seem to mind your company though, arm still at home on your waist. You noticed a few disappointed glances being thrown your way, and you chuckled with a frown.

“Peter, I think I’m ruining your chances of getting laid,” you finally said.

He glanced around to see what you meant before he chuckled too.

“It’s fine. You’re my best friend. I’m not just going to ditch you,” he responded.

You smiled but still felt a bit guilty that you had affected his night again. You pulled away from him, letting him know that you were going to be in the kitchen. He understood and promised to join you. To be honest, you wanted him to have fun. You didn’t exactly take pleasure in knowing that he sacrificed his usual routine at parties just for you.

You leaned against the counter, pressing your fingers to your temples as you rubbed circles into your skin. You didn’t know how the night had gone so wrong. How had you been so clueless? No, no! You were not going to do that. It wasn’t your job to watch and hunt for signs of an untruthful man. You weren’t supposed to be suspicious of a guy you were seeing. This whole situation was completely on Harry.

You finished your drink, tossing the red cup into the trash with a sigh. It was amazing that in the span of 3 hours, your life had done a complete 180. You had gone from having the time of your life to being alone and miserable and feeling absolutely foolish.

You heard footsteps make their way into the kitchen. You glanced up, face contorting in a frown as your gaze connected with that of the last person you wanted to see.

“What are you doing here?” you scoffed.

He was holding two drinks, eyes apologetic as he approached you.

“I’m sorry-.”

“I don’t want to hear it, Harry. There’s nothing that you could say that can fix this.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. Scarlet and I… We’ve been having problems for a long time, now, and we both thought getting back together would make them magically go away, but they didn’t. The night we met, Scarlet and I had gotten into a huge fight, and I was under the impression that we were over…for good.”

You eyed him.

“Then she wanted to work things out, but I had already met you, and I really liked you…”

You looked away with a sigh.

“We were never exclusive, I guess, but it doesn’t matter because you have a girlfriend. You had a girlfriend the whole time we were hanging out, and I’m certain that you and she have an agreement that you guys are exclusive,” you harshly replied.

He glanced down, and you chuckled, but it lacked humor.

“You were cheating on her…with me… Never mind the obvious of how she would feel if she found out, but how do you think that makes me feel? Do you think I like being that kind of girl?”

He shook his head.

“No, no, you’re not the type-.”

“Exactly.”

He at least had the decency to look ashamed.

“I know I messed up, okay? I just wanted to apologize and bring you this… You said it’s your favorite, the only drink you actually really like, and I thought maybe it could soften the blow of you chewing me out,” he confessed.

You eyed the cup, glaring at him before taking it. You took a sip before sighing.

“Well, thanks for the drink,” you saluted him with it. “…but I don’t see us moving past this Harry. It was fun, but I don’t even want to be friends with someone like you. I’m sorry, and I mean it when I say I hope you and Scarlet work things out.”

You brushed past him, taking another sip of the fruity mixture as you went in search of Peter. It was easy to find him, following the sound of his familiar laughter. He didn’t mention anything as he wrapped his arm around you, and you figured that he didn’t know Harry was here yet.

“Hey, I was coming, I swear I was-.”

“Peter, it’s fine! You know I don’t care about you keeping me company or not. I’m a big girl.”

He returned your smile, pulling you closer as his hand tightened on your waist.

You didn’t plan to stay much longer, and about an hour later you decided that you would head out…after you used the bathroom. You found it much more difficult to weave through the sweaty bodies this time, and you blinked as your vision spun for half a second. You stopped to steady yourself, pressing your hand to your head in confusion.

You eventually made it to the bathroom, and you took some time to look at yourself in the mirror. You looked alright, for the most part, but you felt so…off. Your fingers were tingling just the slightest, and the bass in the houses sounded incredibly far away. By the time you were done in the bathroom, you were stumbling out.

You had to hold onto the wall for support, and confusion filled you. You’d only been drunk a handful of times, but this time felt different. Even worse, you had only had two drinks. You dreaded making your way down the stairs, and you had to pause and lean your back on the wall halfway down. You heard someone call your name, and they too sounded so far away. You jerked when a pair of hands landed on your arms.

“Y/N? Y/N, are you okay?”

You stared at Harry for the longest time, wondering what he was still doing here when it clicked. You frowned at him.

“Did you put something in my drink?”

Your words were slurred, but he understood you nonetheless, and his eyes widened.

“What? No!”

“You did, didn’t you? I…I only had two drinks, and this didn’t start until after-.”

“Y/N, I wouldn’t do that! Come on, let me-.”

“No!” you jerked away from him. “Is this your way of getting in my pants, anyway?”

He frantically shook his head, concern and worry and disbelief all rolled into one in his gaze.

“Y/N, you have to believe me! I wouldn’t do this!”

You scoffed, pushing against him, but it was weak.

“Believe you? How could I trust anything you say?”

He blinked, something clicking in his eyes as he looked down the stairs and back to you.

“Y/N, I didn’t get the drink for you. Did Parker not tell you he saw me? He gave me the-.”

“Hey, what’s going on?”

You both turned to look just as Peter came up the stairs. You stumbled towards him, fighting off Harry’s hands as Peter wrapped his arms around you.

“He put something in my drink,” you whispered, on the verge of passing out.

“What?” Peter demanded, tightening his hold on you.

“Y/N, listen-!”

“You’ve done enough, don’t you think? Get out of here, Harry, because if I tell my frat brothers you’re drugging girls they aren’t just going to let you walk out of here,” he threatened.

Harry stumbled over his words as Peter helped you back up the stairs.

“Leave,” you heard him snap at the other brunette.

Your fingers dug into his arm as he helped you walk down the hall, arms tightening around you.

“P-Peter…”

“Hey, hey… It’s okay. You can crash in my room, tonight, yeah?”

You’d only been in his room a handful of times, the both of you usually hanging out at his place. It was always clean and always smelled good, and you had thought to yourself before that it was no wonder girls kept coming back. He sat you down on his bed, and you struggled to sit upright.

You heard him fumbling around in his drawers and looked up just in time to see him coming over with a huge t-shirt. You didn’t mind when he helped you out of your clothes, welcoming it during your inebriated state. His fingers grazed your skin as he slid the shirt over you, resting his hands on your shoulders.

“Y/N, can you hear me?”

“Y-yeah,” you stuttered, blinking at him.

He took his thumb to widen your eyes, getting a good look at your pupils. You felt like you were having an out of body experience, and you were grateful for Peter. You didn’t like feeling like this, and you shuddered to think about what would have happened to you had Peter not been here.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

He ran his eyes over you before resting them on your fogged-out ones.

“You don’t need to thank me,” he said with a small smile. “What are best friends for?”

You struggled to return the smile, and he brushed his hand along the side of your face. Your eyes fell closed at the gentle feel of his ministrations. You were somewhat in shock that Harry would do such a thing. A rapist was a big leap from cheater and liar, and you wondered what drove him to do it. He had a girlfriend, but maybe he was truly that greedy and disgusting?

You forced your eyes open when you felt Peter’s hand on the side of your neck. You blinked, eyebrows furrowing as you watched him lean in.

“Peter-.”

You were cut off when he pressed his lips against your own. Your eyes widened, and you reached up to press your hands into his chest, but you had no strength. His hand slid to grip the hair at the back of your head, tightening his grip as he leaned into you.

You mumbled incoherently into his mouth as he laid you down, his lithe frame immediately settling against yours. His other hand was on your naked thigh, his t-shirt riding up to brush against your underwear. You turned your head, gasping for breath.

“Peter…stop,” you panted. “W-what are you doing?”

He didn’t answer you, opting instead to pull away and reach behind his head to pull his shirt off. You blinked as you were met with the sight of his bare chest. He leaned down again, pressing his lips against yours. He simply swallowed all of your protests, and you turned your head away again.

“Peter!”

“I’m doing what I’ve wanted to do for years, now,” he whispered against your cheek.

Your eyes widened, and confusion filled you.

“…what?”

You tried to scoot back on the bed, but he only followed, his frame still caging yours in as you both moved. His eyes were hard as he looked at you, and you felt tears collect as you fought not to cry.

“Harry gets everything, you know. It’s all just so easy for him, but I’d never let him have you,” he murmured, pressing kisses to your neck. “Not after I worked so hard to save you…for myself…”

You pushed against him again, but he didn’t budge.

“No, no. Peter, what…what are you…?”

Nothing was making sense, and your head hurt and your body felt heavy and the room was spinning. Nothing he was saying was making sense.

“Peter, you’re my best friend… This doesn’t make any sense…”

Your head lolled, much too heavy to lift as you heard him fumble with his pants. Panic gripped you, but you could hardly move. You groaned when he pressed himself against you, and you could feel him hard and throbbing between your thighs.

“Peter,” you mumbled.

“I’m going to be the only person who gets to be inside of you. The only one to know what it feels like to have you wrapped around them. God, I’ve always wanted to know what you feel like,” he whispered, kissing you again.

His fingers made their way to your core, rubbing you through your underwear. You reached up to grip his arm, but you were sure that your hold was featherlight. You let like your body weighed a ton, and the smallest of movements took so much out of you.

You whimpered as you felt your underwear grow damp, and Peter wasted no time in pushing them to the side before pushing a finger inside of you. Another soon followed, and you were panting beneath him as he worked his hand in between your legs.

“Please…stop,” you begged. “I’ll scream…”

“Can you?” he wondered, lips brushing against yours.

Tears spilled over at his question. He was right. Could you even scream? You could barely speak.

“Even if you could scream, Y/N… There’s a party going on. Who’s going to hear you? Hmm?”

He was dragging your filthy underwear down your legs, now.

“Peter, please. I’m your best friend… Please, don’t do this to me,” you pleaded.

Peter’s eyes met yours.

“It’s just been us our entire lives. All we ever needed was each other. I want to keep it that way,” he said.

You yelped, pressing your nails into his back as he slid inside of you to the hilt. Your legs were limp around him, a scream caught in your throat. He leaned down to kiss your wet cheeks, shushing you as you struggled to adjust beneath him.

He took his time as he pulled out of you before sliding back in, groaning at the way you clenched around him. You pressed your nails harder into his back, and he hissed before reaching back to grip your wrist, pinning it to the bed. He did the same with the other and kept a steady pace.

You panted beneath him, eyes fluttering closed. Whatever was coursing through your system made it impossible to focus on anything other than the way his hard length felt dragging against your walls. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as he thrust into you, never taking his eyes off of you as he watched your face.

His grip tightened on your wrists, and you gasped at the pain.

“Peter…”

“It’s okay. Just enjoy it, Y/N…”

You gasped again as he picked up his pace, forehead dewy with sweat. He buried his face in your neck again, chest pressed against yours as he pinned you to the bed, unrelenting in his thrusts.

“You’re mine,” he murmured. “You’re finally mine…”

Something that was a cross between a choked moan and a sob escaped you.

“I want everyone to know it-.”

“No, Peter-!”

“I’m going to fuck you until the sun comes up, so everyone in this house will know you belong to me. You’re my girl, Y/N. You always have been,” he moaned. “…and when you limp out of this house with my marks on you, everyone will know it.”

He came in you with a low moan, and you sobbed into his chest as he rolled over, curling you against him. He ran his fingers down your back, lips brushing your forehead.

“I’ll make you come before the night is over,” he whispered. “I’ll be the only one to ever touch you like this.”

You shook your head, and he rolled you back onto your back, still inside of you. His dark eyes bore into your own, fingers trailing over your trembling body.

“You know exactly what I’m capable of, Y/N… You know the things I can do. I’d hate to have to hurt someone for touching what’s mine.”

~

tags: @sherrybaby14​ @kellyn1604​ @xoxabs88xox​ @mcudarklibrary​ @darkficreposter​ @villanellevi​ @sebabestianstan101​ @harringtonsblackgf​

@opheliadawnwalker3​ @jtargaryen18​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @readermia​

[eddieeatsass]

On the Edge of an Avalanche

Summary: Graduation was upon them and Eddie Kaspbrak was eager to leave Derry behind. His one last hurrah would be the senior ski trip, earning him an escape from his mother and the looming stress of college admissions. It was supposed to be a relaxing vacation, until he got slated to look after resident pain-in-everyone’s-ass, Richie Tozier. Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak Rating: E Chapter: 4/5 Read Chapter 3 Here  /  Read on AO3

Richie’s room was nicer than Eddie’s, way nicer. It’s not that Eddie’s room was bad, in fact he’d spent a good amount of time admiring it earlier, it’s just that Eddie’s room was like the discount version, and Richie’s was designer. Where Eddie’s room had gotten tall windows, half of Richie’s wall was taken up by a fireplace. Eddie supposed it was a trade, someone who preferred a nicer view might say Eddie’s room was the winner, but there was something undeniably romantic about your own fireplace. Richie’s room also seemed to have a newer TV, mounted on the wall across from their bed. The TV in Eddie’s room was older and hid behind two panels of wood in a cabinet. Simply put, Eddie was very glad Richie had decided to bring them here. Richie flopped on the bed immediately, overdramatizing how exhausted he was just from limping his way down the hall. Eddie hid a knowing smile and joined him. “Thank you for saving me, I was about five minutes away from dying of boredom.” Richie drawled. “Well, I can’t promise you’ll have any more fun here, but you’re welcome. ”Richie let his head loll to the side, regarding Eddie closely before speaking again. “No, I’ll definitely have more fun here. ”The insinuation was brash, Richie didn’t even bother trying to hide it behind a joke. It made Eddie’s gut clench in unusual ways. He brought his thumb up to his mouth, the habit of gnawing at his fingernails a hard one to kick, but was interrupted by his own gasp as his hand came into view. His knuckles were starting to bruise, tender to flex and even more tender to touch. He hadn’t noticed any pain earlier, too caught up in Richie to even think about anything else, but now that he was staring at his fist the ache began to echo under his skin. “You just notice that?” Richie asked gently, noting the horror in Eddie’s eyes. Eddie could only nod, his gaze fixed on the evidence of his breakdown. He wasn’t sure how long he stared at his hand, but when Richie’s entered the frame Eddie startled. He’d gotten a hand towel from the bathroom and wrapped some ice in it, which Eddie could only guess was provided in their minifridge. Richie guided Eddie’s hand down to his lap, placing the ice pack atop his knuckles gently and murmuring an apology when Eddie hissed at the sudden coldness. They stayed silent for a few minutes, simply sitting in each other’s presence as the ice dampened the cloth atop Eddie’s hand. Eddie was the first to speak, keeping his eyes downcast as he admitted his guilt aloud. “I’m not a violent person, you know.” He could feel Richie’s eyes on his face but didn’t give in to the lure. “Yeah, I know.” Richie reassured. “But Bowers is an exception-”“No, he’s not.” Eddie snapped. “If I sink to his level, I’m just like him.” Eddie wasn’t sure if Richie would get it. They had both been targets of Henry’s attacks, but Eddie never wanted anyone to feel the way he’d felt, not even Henry himself. Eddie’s mind was constantly replaying all the times he'd had his face shoved into the dirt, the way the gravel would stick to his wounds, the shouts he’d receive from his mother upon getting home. Henry was a god-awful human, but that didn’t mean he deserved to feel that same pain and sorrow. That wasn’t going to change anything; you can’t break the cycle with the same bullshit that fueled it. “I didn’t mean to do it.” Eddie whispered. “I just snapped.” Richie immediately scooted closer, an action Eddie wasn’t expecting or prepared for. He looked up and met bright blue eyes, tender and open and completely void of judgement. “You’re nothing like him; you didn’t want to hurt him. Bowers wants to hurt people. ”Eddie looked back down at his hand, flexing his fingers and watching as the makeshift ice pack slid off and landed on the sheets. “You know…” Eddie began thinking out loud. “I’ve felt the brunt of a lot of people’s insecurities. I don’t usually mind being projected on, it’s easy to see through the words and figure out what’s actually going on behind them. I’ve even gotten good at doing it with Henry, though he’s a bit of a different breed… But there was something about the things he said today... they felt more personal.” Richie listened intently, allowing Eddie to spill out into the space between them, his vulnerability a tender wound. “Whatever, it’s stupid.” Eddie was quick to dismiss his own feelings, covering them up with a shrug of his shoulders that attempted to pass as indifference. “It’s not stupid.” Richie insisted. Eddie stared down at his uninjured hand as it picked at a thread on the blanket beneath them. “Listen, I don't know what Henry said, but you're not suddenly a super villain for fighting back one time. The first time I was called a fag, I threw a mug at the dude’s head.” Richie admitted aloud with a chuckle. “We were in a coffee shop and I was on my first date with a guy. I ended up having to pay for the broken mug and my backtalk. ”Eddie perked up like Richie had just given him a straight shot of smelling salts. All other sound in the room fell away as Eddie homed in on Richie’s voice, trying to discern if he was dreaming or not. “Safe to say it was not a very good first impression.” Richie laughed lightly, completely unaware of the way he was flipping Eddie’s world upside down. “Anyway, all I’m trying to say is you’re not the only one who’s lost their cool before. You’re human, you’re allowed to get upset when people treat you less than.” Eddie was sure Richie was making a good point, was sure what he was saying held some wisdom that could potentially help, but he was guilty to say he hadn’t processed a word of it. He was too caught up on the fact that Richie had dated guys before. Stan’s words echoed in his brain ‘You might want to consider the possibility that this isn’t their first time eating a hot dog’, fucking Stan was always right, even with that stupid metaphor. Richie had begun talking again, but Eddie didn’t hesitate to interrupt him, this new revelation too significant to pass by. “You like boys?” Eddie blurted out, all grace and subtlety left behind with his spiraling thoughts. Richie froze in place, his hands up in a gesture Eddie was sure had something to do with what he’d been talking about, but now looked comically out of place. Slowly, Richie lowered his hands to his lap and regarded Eddie with a new look, one that held enough cockiness to knock the wind out of Eddie. “Grinding my dick on you didn’t send the message?” Richie teased, raising one eyebrow and swiping his tongue across his teeth. Eddie suppressed a full body shiver, averting his eyes from Richie’s intensity. “I thought you were maybe, like, I don’t know-” “This ain’t my first rodeo, cowboy.” Richie said with a twang that went straight to Eddie’s pants. He blamed Brokeback Mountain. “Well, it isn’t mine either.” Eddie defended instinctively. He watched as Richie’s eyes flicked down to his mouth and back up again, quick like a hummingbird and with all the same charm. “So, then what’s the issue?” Richie’s voice had lowered, taking on something much more intimate and sultry. It made Eddie’s heart rate spike. “I guess there isn’t one.” He breathed. “Good, because I’ve been wanting to do this all day.” Eddie barely had a moment to breathe before Richie captured his lips in a hungry kiss, his hand burying itself in the hair at Eddie’s nape to pull him in closer. The gesture almost made Eddie go limp, as if he were a cat being held by its scruff, submissive by instinct. He opened his mouth pliantly, allowing Richie in with a welcome of his own tongue. Eddie couldn’t believe that this was happening. Just a couple hours ago he was fisting his own cock, fantasizing about the way Richie tasted. Now he knew. Richie was a cold fire, stoking Eddie’s lungs with mint and cinnamon spice. He tasted like the frost outside, and the embers that kept you warm. It was comforting, enveloping in a way Eddie couldn’t describe. Eddie pushed against Richie, guiding him to lay down on his back so Eddie could climb atop his lap, resuming the same position they’d been in the night before. This time, however, there was clear determination between them. There were no longer hesitant touches or swallowed moans, every move was purposeful, made with intent. Eddie wasn’t shy to shed his sweater, wanting to move things along as quickly as possible now that they were finally happening. “Your body, god, do you know how long I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you?” Richie grabbed Eddie’s bare waist in near disbelief, awe shining in his eyes. “Less than 24 hours?” Eddie snorted, rolling his eyes and his hips in tandem. Richie groaned and tightened his grip, stilling Eddie forcefully. “Try years. You think I didn’t notice you until Mrs. Harrow forced us to sit together?” Eddie flushed even hotter, his skin reddening to match the fire that Richie was stoking. Richie grinned at Eddie’s speechlessness, pushing forward. “I noticed you for the first time in sophomore year. You were trying out for the track team at the same time as Mike and we were in the bleachers cheering him on. I was gone the second you walked out onto that grass. I tried to be respectful, but I couldn’t stop imagining myself squeezed between those thighs that your tight little track shorts did a great job of highlighting.” Eddie tried to recall that moment, tried to visualize Richie in the bleachers with his floppy hair and lopsided glasses, but all he could remember was the adrenaline he’d felt going behind his mother’s back, too busy to notice anything else. “I never stopped noticing you after that, in fact I’m surprised you never caught me looking your way during class…” Richie moved his hands to begin trailing up Eddie’s thighs. “But the second time I really noticed you, was at the end of that school year. We had a heat wave and the AC broke, d’you remember that? The school had no idea how to deal with it, so they just chucked us outside and gave us popsicles from the freezer in the cafeteria, probably because they were going to melt anyway. But you sat there in the middle of the field sucking on your popsicle like it was the best fucking thing you’d ever tasted. You might have been miserable like the rest of us, but you were too focused on your treat to pay any mind to the weather.” Eddie’s throat was going dry, his head beginning to feel light and airy as he listened to Richie talk. “That night I dreamt you were sucking my cock, that same euphoric look on your face as if it were that damn popsicle.” Richie’s hands reached Eddie’s hips and traced the curve around to his ass, causing Eddie to stutter a breath as his eyelashes fluttered against his cheekbones. “I’ve thought about fucking you for years, Eds, to see you cum on my cock and hear you cry my name. I would do just about anything you asked me to, just as long as I can make you feel good.” Eddie had never been this aroused in his life. Every single nerve in his body was buzzing like a live wire, his toes already curling just from Richie’s words alone. “What if I asked you to take your clothes off?” Eddie braved, his voice shaky. Richie sat up, bringing them chest to chest. “Anything. You. Asked.” Richie punctuated each word with a featherlight kiss to Eddie’s lips. The butterflies in Eddie’s stomach went wild as he watched Richie begin to strip off his shirt. He did it slowly, keeping his eyes on Eddie as Eddie’s own raked down the newly exposed skin. Richie's skin was pale enough to rival the snow outside, spattered with fewer freckles than Eddie’s, but enough to break up the milky complexion. He was thin but still held definition, especially as Eddie’s eyes reached the ‘v’ of his hips that dipped into his waistband. Eddie swallowed thickly and nodded towards the spot where Richie’s hands were already hovering over his waistband. Eddie had to swing his leg off Richie and move to the side to let him shimmy his pants down his legs, every new inch equally as mesmerizing. “Like what you see?” Richie’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Not sure yet, I think I need to see more.” Eddie whispered back, tension thick between them. Eddie could see where Richie was straining against the fabric of his boxers, tenting them to an intimidating level. The way his mouth watered at the sight made Eddie feel absolutely depraved, lewd in a way that only added to his arousal, made him want to spread his legs wide and offer himself up whole. The moment that stretched between them as Richie pulled his boxers down felt like an eternity. Eddie lived, died, and got reborn all in the span of that second. Richie’s cock was heavy, springing free for only a moment before falling back against his stomach. Eddie could see Richie moving in his peripheral, getting comfortable back against the duvet after throwing his boxers to the floor, but he couldn’t tear his eyes off his dick. He felt fingers carding through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead, and finally Eddie tore his gaze away from the challenge that sat before him. Richie’s smile was smug, but his eyes seemed vulnerable. Eddie realized he was waiting for his next command, unsure how they’d fallen into that pattern but not opposed to continuing it. Eddie felt powerful as he raised on his haunches and moved to where Richie’s legs were spread. He watched Richie’s face, noted the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed, and his fingers twitched as he tried not to move. Eddie lowered his head so it was level with Richie’s cock, pausing just a few inches away so his breath grazed against it as he spoke. “Fuck my mouth.” Eddie directed, lust overwriting his usual nerves and replacing them with boldness. Richie’s breath shook as he let it out slowly. “Jesus fuck, Eddie…”Richie’s hands travelled back into Eddie’s hair, gentle at first and then gripping at the base. He guided Eddie’s head the rest of the way down and shuttered when Eddie finally took the head in his mouth. Eddie instantly felt intoxicated, like Richie was the strongest absinthe man had ever made. He greedily gulped it down, laving at the underside of Richie’s cock as it glided into his throat. Drool was already pooling at the corners of his mouth, but Eddie paid it no mind, his only focus on drinking in as much of Richie as he could. He knew right away there was no reality in which he could take all of Richie at once, at least not without a lot of practice, so he committed his mouth to the top half and his hand to the bottom. His fingers barely met as they wrapped around Richie’s shaft and gave an experimental pump. Richie groaned, and Eddie took it as a good sign. He repeated the motion with a twist of his wrist, tonguing the slit of his cock where precum was leaking out greedily. Eddie could feel Richie’s legs tensing where he had his free hand splayed across his thigh. Every time he teased the underside of Richie’s head that muscle would jump, and it almost became a game to see how quickly Eddie could make that muscle twitch, his tongue moving faster and faster against that sensitive spot and causing Richie's legs to vibrate. “Oh my god- fuck, ahhhh-h-how are you so good at this…” Richie’s voice was wrecked, raspy and low and breathy all at once. Eddie just hummed in acknowledgement, sending vibrations up Richie’s shaft that made him hump up into Eddie’s mouth. The action caused Eddie to gag and he reveled in it, moaning like a whore in heat. He was so far gone he barely noticed when Richie pulled him off suddenly. “Okay you’re too good at that.” Richie panted, his chest heaving. Eddie’s head was cloudy, the only conscious thought chanting ‘more, more, more’. He blinked a few times, trying to shift the room back into place. “Why did we stop?” Eddie asked dumbly, his words a bit slurred. “I didn’t want to cum yet. I sort of thought… maybe, if you wanted to, we could-” “Finger me.” Eddie blurted out, his senses coming back to him but not all gracefully. “I mean…” He cleared his throat, face beginning to flush. “…please." Richie looked liked he’d just won the lottery and been slapped across the face at the same time, a dopey kind of smile accompanying his features. “You don’t have to be polite about it, Eds. I’m kinda digging this whole dictator thing you’ve got going on, actually.” Eddie giggled adoringly, calmed by the way Richie was able to dissolve his nerves so quickly with such a disastrously dumb joke, even at a time like this. “Gimme a sec.” Richie leaned forward, catching Eddie’s lips in a chaste kiss before he was springing off the bed. “I know that bastard has lube somewhere.” Eddie watched as Richie began searching through what he assumed to be Bill’s suitcase, throwing things to the side in a frenzy. He finally came across a toiletry bag and ripped it open, rifling around for only a moment more and emerging with a small bottle of clear liquid. “Will Bill mind if we use it?” Eddie worried his lip between his teeth, not so much caring about the answer but asking anyway out of respect for his new friend. “Nah, he’ll just be happy I’m getting laid.” Richie winked and those damn butterflies acted up again. Richie crawled back onto the bed, setting the lube to the side temporarily. He returned his attention to Eddie, a renewed twinkle in his lust blown eyes. He crowded Eddie’s space, towering above him but lowering his head so their lips grazed against each other. “Let’s get these off, hmm?” Richie’s fingers stroked lightly at the waistband of Eddie’s sweatpants. “I thought I was the one giving orders.” Eddie teased back, voice barely above a whisper. Richie hooked his fingers under the waistband and pulled, letting it snap back against Eddie’s stomach as he released it with a shuttering breath. “Alright Kaspbrak.” Richie let his body fall backwards, bouncing lighting as it hit the mattress. He brought his hands up behind his head and made a show of getting comfortable. “I am at your mercy.” That same emboldened feeling consumed him once again, a confidence only Richie seemed to instill in him. It was intoxicating, much like everything else about Richie. With a smirk, Eddie backed up off the bed and stood in the middle of the room. Eddie kept his eyes focused on Richie as he began to pull his sweatpants down, going painstakingly slow just to see Richie’s reaction. He saw his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed back his desire, a nearly imperceptible twitch making his cock jump in intrigue. Eddie kicked his pants to the side where they joined his long since discarded sweater, and then all his focus diverted to his neglected cock. All earlier thoughts of whether Richie would like his body were gone, he knew Richie liked his body, and he was planning on milking that for all it was worth. Eddie palmed himself over his underwear, letting his head fall back and his mouth drop open as he finally offered himself the stimulation he needed. He looked down and noted that the white fabric had gone translucent where his cock had been leaking against it, giving Richie a peek of the pink head underneath. He heard Richie whimper from the bed but paid him no mind, indulging in his own senses for a moment. He continued to tease himself through the thin cloth until he couldn’t take any more, finally allowing his hands to wander to the waistband and pull the underwear down his thighs. Richie was silent, watching so attentively that a pin could be heard dropping in the room. Eddie kicked the last piece of clothing off to the side and immediately let his hand wander back to his own cock, tugging it a few times and allowing himself to moan at the sensation. He heard the bed squeak and opened his eyes to see Richie crawling towards him. Gone was Richie’s passiveness and submission, replaced with a new hunger that made Eddie’s legs quiver. Richie reached his arms out and pulled Eddie in until his legs hit the edge of the mattress. Even with Eddie standing and Richie kneeling on the bed, he was still a good few inches taller than him, and he used that to his advantage while crowding into Eddie’s space. “You can’t tease me like that.” Richie whispered into the shell of his ear, kissing right under it and beginning a path down his neck. “I didn’t mean to.” Eddie answered honestly, succumbing to the warmth of Richie’s lips and letting his head tip back once again. “Just felt so good…” “I can make you feel even better.” Richie promised, ghosting his hand down Eddie’s torso and just barely grazing his cock. Eddie moaned, arching into the faint touch and whimpering as it left. “Please…” Eddie’s jaw was slack, the word falling out without a thought. Richie continued making his way down Eddie’s body, sucking marks against tan skin as he passed. He paused at Eddie’s nipples to give them special attention and Eddie keened, grabbing at Richie’s hair in sudden desperation. Richie swirled his tongue around one bud, allowing his hand to pluck the other until he switched. He nipped lightly enough to cause Eddie to shutter and then sucked to soothe the reddening skin. He continued his trail downwards, licking along Eddie’s hip bones and kissing the juncture between his thighs and his pelvis, avoiding Eddie’s cock purposefully. Pleas were falling from Eddie’s mouth steadily now; his hands tugging weakly on Richie’s hair to try and guide him towards pleasure. Richie swiftly gathered Eddie in his arms, catching him off guard in his haze of lust. He moved back up the mattress and laid against the bed board, situating Eddie so he was laying across his body. “I bet your pretty little hole is just begging to be touched.” Richie murmured, reaching for the bottle of lube and hastily pouring a generous amount on his digits. Eddie moaned at the lewdness of the comment, his hips moving against Richie’s and causing their cocks to grind against each other. He could feel a wetness smearing against their bellies, similar to the wetness Richie was spreading between his fingers. He watched as Richie’s hand disappeared behind him and then he felt the warm press of a finger at his entrance. The feeling was somewhat familiar; Eddie had fingered himself countless times before, he wasn’t new to pleasuring his prostate. But this was the first time anyone else had ever touched him there. It was difficult not to focus in on every small sensation, to not grind up against Richie like a virgin being touched for the first time. Richie teased the pad of his finger around his rim and unsurprisingly, Eddie fluttered in response. He could hear Richie’s laugh reverberating in his chest where Eddie laid his head. He closed his eyes and spread his legs a bit wider, silently ushering Richie to continue. The first slip inside was uncomfortable. It always is, no matter how turned on you are, but it was also euphoric in a way Eddie was never able to make it for himself. Richie’s fingers were thinner than Eddie’s, but significantly longer, and soon enough Richie was already in to his knuckle. Eddie breathed steadily, allowing his body to get used to the intrusion. Richie followed his queue, stilling for a moment until Eddie nodded minutely against him, signaling him to continue. The next finger wasn’t too much harder than the first, and soon the discomfort ebbed away to make room for pleasure. Richie worked his fingers in and out, scissoring them to stretch Eddie open as much as possible before a third was added. It felt way better than Eddie had ever imagined it would. Richie’s fingers weren’t clumsy or unsure like Eddie would have thought, they were precise with their pressure and quick to find the spots that made Eddie melt. He went at the perfect pace, allowing Eddie his time to adjust but not waiting too long to lose their momentum. Arousal bubbled hot in Eddie’s stomach, searing his skin at every spot where they were connected. His breathing had become labored, and his hips had begun their own little rotation where he ground himself down into Richie. Every time he did, he felt Richie’s cock twitching against his, eager to escape the slot between them and burry itself inside Eddie. And in that moment, Eddie wanted that more than anything. “Fuck me, now.” Eddie demanded breathily, holding no more space for patience. “You sure you’re ready?” Richie checked, his own breath seeming to stutter. Eddie whined indignantly, raising himself up on shaky knees and grabbing both of Richie’s wrists. He pulled them away, deft fingers slipping out of him easily and falling to the pillow beside Richie’s head where Eddie pinned them. “Now.” Eddie repeated, grinding his ass against Richie’s cock and coating it with lube. “I’m gonna die here and it’s gonna be the happiest day of my life.” Richie rushed out, eyes squeezed shut and face flushed a blotchy red. Eddie removed one hand and reached down to grasp Richie’s cock, marveling once again at its size. He was sure he was going to feel a stretch, but he craved it at this point. With determination and just a little too much arousal for rational thought, Eddie lined himself up and began sinking down. The stretch was… a lot. Eddie let out a pained whimper as Richie’s head breached his rim, and suddenly there were hands all over him, cradling his face, petting his hair, steadying his hips. “Hey, hey, you’re okay.” Richie rushed to comfort him, kissing the spot between Eddie’s eyebrows where he hadn’t realized he’d furrowed them. “We can stop at any point. You want to stop?” Eddie was stubborn, he knew this about himself. He was aware that his stubbornness had gotten him into trouble in the past, but it had also earned him some of the best moments of his life. He didn’t want to end this prematurely and look back on his first time with remorse, but he also didn’t exactly want to rip his asshole open on a high school ski trip. Eddie decided he just needed a minute, so he shook his head and told Richie as much. Richie continued to rub his back, his hair, anywhere his nervous hands could settle. He seemed on such high alert Eddie wasn't sure how his dick wasn't flagging. Eddie winced as Richie inched down the bed carefully, lying himself flatter and pulling Eddie back down to his chest. Eddie closed his eyes and focused on Richie’s heartbeat, feeling Richie moving above him but paying it no mind. He jumped in surprise when Richie’s hand joined his dick, but his body relaxed instantaneously as he felt those soft fingers begin to massage extra lube around his rim. As the seconds passed Eddie could feel himself opening up under Richie’s touch, his muscles relaxing and his temperature rising. Richie was clearly feeling the heat himself, as he’d started to rock his hips gently beneath Eddie’s. The action was gentle, inching him further into Eddie in torturously small increments but not pushing him past his limits. It was beginning to drive Eddie crazy as his craving for more became overpowering, all the pain from before having subsided. Without warning, Eddie pushed himself back on Richie’s cock, feeling his fingers flutter around his hole at the sudden movement. He was quick to use his hand to steady himself at the base of his cock, holding it still for Eddie to fuck back on. Richie let out an elongated breath, swearing profusely at the end of it. It made Eddie blush and move faster, his hips taking on a rhythm of their own. Eddie was on cloud fucking nine. His body lit up like a live wire, electrifying him with every move he made. Richie appeared to be just as affected, his mouth stuck open in an orgasmic ‘o’, his eyes practically rolled back into his skull. Richie had been quick to match Eddie’s pace, thrusting up into him feverously, hands clamped on to Eddie's hip as tightly as Eddie was clamping around his cock. "You're so fucking huge." Eddie moaned, the statement coming out honestly despite sounding like a script from a bad porno. "Holy shit, you can't say stuff like that or I'm gonna blow my load." Richie responded, chest heaving. "I'm serious, it feels like I'm being split open, god Rich." "That mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble." Richie's thrusts were speeding up, becoming more erratic. Eddie almost felt like he was riding a bull, clenching his thighs in a desperate attempt not to be bucked off. "Then shut me up." The response was instantaneous. Richie flipped them over, pressing Eddie into the mattress as he pounded into him mercilessly. He brought one hand up to Eddie's mouth and shoved two fingers against his tongue, forcing Eddie to suck on the digits. Eddie gagged on them like he would Richie's cock, saliva dripping out of the corner of his mouth and mixing with the tears that had escaped without notice. He was completely fucked out, his brain unable to process anything besides Richie. "I'm gonna cum." Richie warned, his orgasm approaching rapidly after being so on edge for so long. Eddie didn't mind, his own release not far behind. "Cum inside me, please, want to feel you." Eddie begged, unaware of his desire until it was suspended right in front of him. "Fuck, unnnf- god, Eddie." Richie said his name like a prayer, bringing his hand up to stroke Eddie's neglected cock. The sensation was downright sinful, the best thing Eddie thinks he's ever felt in his entire life. It caused his toes to curl, most of the muscles in his body seizing up at the pleasure. Richie's hips stuttered a few times and then he was overwhelmed with a warmth deep inside him, Richie's cock pushing through it to press diligently into his prostate. Eddie came with blinding lights in his eyes, his body convulsing as waves upon waves of euphoria flooded his senses. He's pretty sure he screams, but he could have been completely silent and it would have sounded the same to his deaf ears. Eddie's not sure how long he lays there in fucked out bliss, his mind completely separate from his body, but when he finally tunes back into the world around him he's alone in the bed. He looks around to find Richie and spots him crouched on the ground by the fireplace, tinkering with the button to light it up. Electric flames suddenly burst alive behind Richie's silhouette, highlighting his long legs as he stretches back up and turns to regard Eddie. "Hey." His voice is gentle, not quite a whisper but close enough to one that the greeting still felt secretive. "Hi." Eddie matches his tone, his throat appreciating the low register after being abused not too long ago. "I thought I lost you there for a minute." Richie crawled back into bed, pulling the thick duvet over them. "I think you did." Eddie admitted sheepishly. "That was fucking... wow." Richie laughed at the advanced vocabulary Eddie was able to implement at that moment. "Wow is right." Richie agreed, welcoming Eddie as he crowded into his space. The silence fell upon them naturally, their bodies and minds too exhausted to bother with much else. It was a long while until Eddie pipped back up. “Was that your first time?” Eddie asked quietly, his eyes having drifted closed from the comfort of being satiated in such a new way. “Mm-mm.” Richie answered carding his fingers through Eddie’s hair. “First time was with Ally Mae Espin. It was a mess.” Eddie hummed for Richie to continue, too content to respond vocally. “It was in Bill’s garage in 8th grade. It lasted exactly two minutes and neither of us finished. I had blue balls for the rest of the night, but honestly, I didn’t even care. I’d realized as soon as we’d kissed that I wasn’t into her the way she was into me. I don’t regret it, but as far as first times it’s pretty anticlimactic. Literally.” Eddie giggled, nuzzling closer into Richie’s warmth. He felt fuzzy all over, invincible to the evils of the outside world. He thinks he could probably survive an avalanche right now, completely safe inside Richie’s arms. “What about you? How was your first time porking the hog?” Eddie scrunched his nose in disgust, peering up at Richie judgingly. “First of all, ew. Don’t ever call it that again. And also… this was my first time.” Richie’s eyes widened a fraction, an unreadable but unmistakable softness within them. “Shit, Eds. I wish you’d have told me, I would have at least tried to perform better.” Predictably, Richie was trying to hide his vulnerability with humor. Also predictably, Eddie could see right through it. “It was perfect. You were perfect.” Richie seemed to gnaw on the inside of his cheek, so Eddie continued. “Ten out of ten, would pork again.” That earned a surprised laugh from Richie, and Eddie considered his mission accomplished. He could work on Richie’s insecurities more later, but for now, at least he knew Eddie didn’t regret what had happened. They fell back into another stretch of silence, the crackle of the fireplace background noise to their steady breathing. Eddie had almost fallen asleep when Richie spoke again. “Did you always know you wanted to be a mechanic when you were younger?” It took a moment for Eddie to fully re-inhabit his body, wondering why his slumber had been interrupted for such a random question. “Huh?” “You know, kids are so indecisive. One minute it's 'I'm gonna be a doctor' the next it's 'I'm gonna be an alien superstar princess'. Did little Eddie have lots of dream jobs or was it always a mechanic?” Eddie took a moment to think, having to dig through all of the expectations and responsibilities that had piled on top of him over time, shielding his passions and replacing them with pragmatic plans for the future. "I always wanted to be a mechanic. Actually, I even wanted to open my own garage when I grew up." Richie listened intently, allowing Eddie to continue. "My dad was a mechanic. I learned a lot just from watching him, and then when he passed away I continued learning under a guy named Isaac, until mom decided it was too messy and too dangerous for me to be in the shop. I always believed I would grow up, open my own place where my mom couldn't ban me from being, and name it after my dad." Richie's face fell at the mention of Eddie's dad's death and he cursed himself for bringing it up. People always felt uncomfortable at the mention of death, and even though Eddie had long since accepted that his dad was gone, he always had to suffer through people’s weird grief reactions that, more often than not, made him feel worse. However a few moments passed and Richie still hadn't said anything, so Eddie braved a look upwards. "What's your favorite car?" Eddie was taken aback, already in the process of mentally preparing himself to field the same old questions he'd long since memorized his answers to. He blinked a few times, a smile creeping up on him without his permission. Richie continued to surprise him at every turn, and Eddie was absolutely giddy about it. "You're gonna make fun of me." Eddie sighed, infinitely grateful for Richie somehow always knowing exactly what to say and when not to say. "I absolutely will." Richie nodded. "1966 Volkswagen Type 2." Richie seemed to contemplate it, nodding slowly before bursting into a side splitting smile and letting a little laugh go. "You’re right, that's hilarious." Eddie laughed along, but still slapped his chest playfully to at least act offended. He snuggled in closer, settling his head on Richie’s chest. "It's just that the hippie lifestyle doesn't exactly match the Eddie Kaspbrak I've grown to know and lo-" Richie cut himself off just as Eddie's heart skipped, both of them falling silent for a moment before Richie cleared his throat and marched onwards, his own heart beating rapidly in Eddie's ear. "I'd have guessed you were a smart car kinda guy." "Why? Cause I'm small?" Eddie challenged, trying (and failing) to return his heart rate back to normal. "Yeah. Small, compact, can fit a surprising amount in its backseat." Richie moved his hand down from where he'd been rubbing circles into Eddie's lower back and tapped one of his cheeks. "Careful! I'm still tender." Eddie pouted, unknowingly looking far too cute for Richie's fragile sanity. Richie kissed the top of Eddie's head and Eddie kissed him back between his collarbones, absolutely smitten with the way Richie handled him. "I like the freedom of it." Eddie admitted, picking the conversation back up. "I've always felt trapped in this town, it's comforting to think of owning something that can take me anywhere." “Technically anything with two wheels can accomplish that.” Richie pointed out. “Yeah, but with a van I don’t have to worry about where I’m gonna sleep. I can live out of it for as long as it takes me to get to my destination.” “Where is your destination?” “New York.” Eddie answered automatically, surprising the both of them. Richie’s arms tightened around Eddie, erratic laughter falling from his lips. “EDDIE!!!” “WHAT!?” Eddie was being jostled now, Richie’s happiness contagious even though Eddie had no idea what was happening. “NEW YORK IS MY DREAM!” Eddie finally connected the dots, realizing a little late what that meant. If Eddie wanted to move to New York, and Richie wanted to move to New York, then they could theoretically move to New York together. The notion made Eddie’s belly do flips. “Oh, yeah, I guess that is kind of perfect huh?” Eddie answered, far more bashful than he'd expected himself to sound. “We can get a little apartment downtown where you can open your own garage and I can work at whatever coffee shop will hire me while I practice my standup routine on the weekends! We'll be a dynamic duo, running the streets of New York together. It’s FATE!” Eddie couldn’t deny that it did feel like something cosmic was at play. Richie was this boisterous, loud, chaotic puzzle piece that somehow fit perfectly into the slot on Eddie’s board. He pushed Eddie’s boundaries, encouraged him to challenge his world and rethink the ways he’d been taught to live. Being around him was invigorating, but it also felt like home. Eddie realized with terrifying clarity that he didn’t want to spend another day without Richie in his life. He couldn’t fathom how he’d done so before; looking back felt like watching a black and white film in contrast to the technicolor movie magic he was living in now. Richie had lit up a spot in Eddie’s life that he hadn’t even realized had been dark before. Eddie trailed his hand up Richie’s chest and found the back of his neck, tilting his head down to face Eddie. He moved slow, bringing their faces close together so their lips barely touched. Richie’s skin was soft, his lips plump and inviting as they trembled beneath Eddie’s. They breathed each other in as Eddie nosed at Richie, watching as his eyes fluttered closed and his brain took a backseat. Eddie hummed a nearly imperceptible laugh and finally slotted their lips together, lingering in place for just a second before parting. It was teasing, but not in the sense of arousal. Eddie left Richie with a million thoughts on his mind and nothing but big brown eyes as answers. “I think I passed out for a second there.” Richie breathed shakily, effected in exactly the way Eddie’d intended. “You’re going to take me to New York one day.” Eddie decided aloud. Richie was all shy smiles, dipping his head low to try and hide his blush. “I sure fucking hope so.” Richie responded quietly, looking back up at Eddie through inky curls. Eddie pushed his hair to the side, tucking it behind Richie’s ear and letting his hand fall back down to his chest. “You will.” They fell asleep like that, wrapped in each other’s arms with thoughts of the future fueling their dreams. Eddie knew that nothing was guaranteed. Two days can’t rewrite your whole life, and once they left the resort and re-entered Derry, he was sure that all the expectations and pressure he’d superseded were going to come back full force. But somehow, he felt more prepared to face them. They didn’t hold the same weight as they once had, because now Eddie knew he had a whole world outside of the one his mother had built for him to exist within. That world might just be Richie Tozier, but it was a thousand times bigger and brighter than the solitude he’d lived in before. For once, Eddie was excited to live.

[destiniesfic]

132 Hours, Chapter 6:

“So what does it say that they have no fear of extorting one of your brothers, but they’re reconsidering everything now that they know who my dad is?” I ask.

“I’d rather fistfight Dain than your dad,” Cardan says, with a snort.

Previous

Note: There is a content warning this chapter for discussion of past attempted sexual assault. The incident in question is not depicted.

Read chapter 6 on AO3, or read below:

The thing about the Valerian incident is that it was supposed to be the third-worst thing that had ever happened to me.

The first worst thing is, obviously, my parents dying, because that is always the first thing. It would have been bad enough if I wasn’t there for it but I was—buckled in the backseat with my sisters, walking away with only scratches, all of my broken parts invisible.

The second worst thing is finding out that Locke was playing Taryn and me off each other. You might think, well, that’s not as bad as the Valerian incident, except that Taryn knew what he was doing the whole time and continued to date him after. Suffice it to say, that sucked, and it continues to suck every day to look at my sister and remember she chose a boy over me. And I kissed Locke, too. He isn’t worth it.

Against those two things, Valerian seems like an obvious third-worst, which I’m sure would piss him off to no end if he knew. Except he haunted me in a way that the Locke thing didn’t, and in a way the accident that had killed my parents had stopped doing years ago. When we were still young, Taryn and I would clutch each other’s hands, white-knuckled, whenever we went driving in the rain, which thankfully wasn’t often. We would flinch at police sirens, watch ambulances drive by with dread. At least that faded when our other scars did not.

It doesn’t seem right that, even after Valerian was expelled, he lingered. But so what? So what if I grew clammy when I had to press through a clot of bodies in the middle of a crowded hallway? So what if I found myself looking out for a flash of blond hair disappearing around corners ahead of me? So what if I checked classrooms to make sure he wasn’t there, although of course he wasn’t, because that’s what being expelled means? That’s nobody’s business but mine. I was already vigilant all of the time, and even though extra vigilance just made for an exhausting final semester, I was fine. I was used to it.

It was so stupid. Because something had happened, but nothing had really happened. Valerian had gone and I was here. I won.

Didn’t I?

“Jude,” Cardan says from somewhere very far away, whispering for some reason. Then a little louder, “Jude.” And then, finally, “Duarte?”

I pick my head up. “What?” I snap.

Cardan jerks his head at the door, but doesn’t say anything. I sit forward. There are raised voices coming through from the other side, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. My own thoughts were loud enough that I had missed them.

So stupid.

“What are they talking about?” I ask Cardan, who has at least been listening longer.

He shakes his head. “Dunno. My best guess is your dad has them scared shitless.”

That’s my best guess, too. I look down and realize that my hands have been curled into fists this whole time. I force them open, looking at the little red crescents my nails imprinted on the meat of my palms. So Cardan doesn’t see them, I lean over my crossed legs, resting my elbows on my knees and my chin on my hands.

“So what does it say that they have no fear of extorting one of your brothers, but they’re reconsidering everything now that they know who my dad is?” I ask.

“I’d rather fistfight Dain than your dad,” Cardan says, with a snort.

“Not Balekin?”

Cardan shrugs one shoulder. “Anyway, I’m pretty sure this is Dain’s work now.”

“Why?”

“Because Balekin would have me killed outright.” I am surprised by how matter-of-factly he says it. “No theatrics, either. Probably make it look like an OD or something, then try to assert his claim over my share of the corporation. He was my guardian for years, probably thinks that gives him the right. And Dain would know that.”

I raise my eyebrows. Unlike Dain, I didn’t know that.

Cardan drums his fingers on his knee. “But Balekin doesn’t think he has to kill me, yet. I assume he thinks that because he raised me, when I do have the power to vote on company matters, I’ll do so in his interest. Or maybe he believes I can be persuaded to give my share up for the right price. That’s what happened with Rhyia.”

Rhyia’s the only one of Cardan’s siblings I know well. As Vivi’s best friend, they were always in and out of each other’s houses growing up. She’s laid back, poly, and has always been nice to me. I’ve met Cardan’s brothers a few times, too, since Madoc works with them, but they’re so much older than us that they’re basically in another world. The world of adults, which I will probably not get to join until college. “What did Rhyia do?”

“Rhyia has zero interest in the company. I mean, none. Dain bought her out.”

“And you do have interest in the family business?”

“Not so much.” Cardan gives me a tight smile. “But I would never, ever sell to Dain, and he knows that. My brothers have been vying for control of the company for years. I think this is Dain’s Hail Mary. He gets my share, he’s basically got half the family votes locked in.”

“Well, no wonder negotiations are taking so long. Balekin can’t like that.” I glance uneasily at the door. “Would you? Sell him your stake?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll keep it just to be difficult.”

“Can’t really picture you in a board meeting,” I say, turning back to him. ��In a suit and tie. Sitting through PowerPoint presentations on the stock market or… media buys in Australia or whatever.”

Cardan shudders. “No, thanks. I do look very dashing in a suit and tie, but I can leave the rest of it.”

I don’t exactly want to think about Cardan in a suit and tie. I don’t want to think about his brothers squabbling over the family fortune. I don’t want to think about our abductors arguing because of my dad. And the thing I don’t want to think about most keeps winding its way around my insides, curdling my stomach.

My parents. Then, Locke and Taryn. Then, Valerian.

I have to ask, or it’ll eat at me like acid.

“Why did you say that?” I whisper.

Cardan, who had apparently been lost in his own thoughts, looks back at me. “Say what?”

I sit up straight. I don’t want to slouch for this. I don’t want to be without armor. “What you said about me. About what happened with Valerian.”

“Oh. Yeah.” He grimaces. “I just didn’t really think it through.”

Any normal person—or maybe just any non-alpha person—might have apologized at the end of that statement, but because it’s Cardan I’m not holding my breath. Instead I look right at him and ask, “Why would you even bring it up?”

“Because…” Cardan sounds confused. “Because I was listing the things about you that I think are kind of badass and that’s one of them?”

Disbelief strikes me like a lightning bolt. “What?”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like the circumstances were great—”

“I had to physically fight off one of your erstwhile best friends so he wouldn’t rape me,” I say, very slowly, very clearly, “and you brought it up because you thought that was, what, cool? You thought that was cool of me?”

Going by the way the color drains from Cardan’s face, the way he swallows, it seems like he is beginning to realize how monumentally he has fucked up. “Well,” he says, “first of all, erstwhile, great SAT word—”

“Cardan,” I bark.

He shuts up. He did say he tended to joke when he was nervous, but I am not in the mood for jokes. I am struggling to keep control of my breath, my little flame, to keep from breathing fire and burning him to a crisp. Sure, maybe he was trying to make me sound scary so our kidnappers would be impressed, or something. But he could have left that out. Everyone moved past it. I moved past it. I am going to college and I will never have to think of it again, except that now I am, because he brought it up.

But before I can figure out how to chew him out for it, Cardan decides to keep talking again. “Jude, you’re, what, five-four?”

“Five,” I correct, out of habit.

“Okay. Valerian’s six-two. He has to weigh nearly twice what you do and he’s an alpha. That’s a fight you were built to lose and you didn’t.” I open my mouth, but he continues, “Yeah, I was impressed, okay? I would have been impressed with you just for trying in the face of, frankly, fucking terrible odds. And I guess I was also impressed with you for fighting because… I don’t.”

I stare at him. “You fight,” I say. “You fight people all the time. What about the time you punched that sophomore because he looked at you funny? What about when you put Eliza’s little brother in a locker and left him for half a day? We all knew that was you and your friends, even though he wouldn’t tell on you.”

“Okay—”

“What about the time we were on that field trip in eleventh grade and you guys pushed me and Taryn into the fountain in Madison Square Park because you thought I needed to wash off my stench?”

“That was like a year and a half ago,” he says, disdainfully, like I’m the one being gauche by rehashing it.

“It was winter,” I say, crossing my arms. “It was cold.”

Cardan closes his eyes and holds up one hand. “Fine, fine. I have… lashed out. I’m not proud of it. But that’s different from what you did. All those times you mentioned, I knew I would win.”

“It must be nice,” I snap. “Some of us don’t have that luxury. Some of us have our fights picked out for us the day we’re born, and we learn really early that there are no easy victories.”

“I do know what it’s like to lose, Duarte,” he insists. “Don’t talk about me like you know me. I know what it’s like to—feel small.”

I really doubt that, but I say, “Sure. Maybe you do. Maybe there’s a bigger, badder alpha somewhere up the food chain angling to turn you into dinner. But you know what? You’re still at the top and I am way the hell down, as far as society’s concerned. So I’m sorry I’m not so impressed with you for admiring me because I stood up for myself. Do you know why I had to do that?”

Cardan is silent for what feels like a full minute, and then says, “Because Valerian—”

“No, not because Valerian.” It feels so freeing to talk to him like this, knowing that he cannot do anything about it. It feels like yelling at him on the beach. I don’t know where I am going or if I will ever stop. “Why do you think he felt like he could do that? Why do you think he felt like he could do it at school—of all places—and get away with it? Because you made it okay to make me a target the day you first pushed me down in gym. Because every time you and your friends and the other shitty alphas sneered at us in the hall or tripped us or did worse, nobody did anything about it. Of course Valerian felt empowered to fuck with me, because I’m not worth anything, and you, personally, have made that exceptionally clear.”

There’s a prolonged stretch of quiet where all I hear is ringing in my ears. When Cardan speaks, his voice is low. “I don’t think you’re being fair.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, well, life isn’t fair. Obviously. Or did you not listen to any of what I just said? If life was fair, my parents would be alive. If life was fair, we would have never fucking met.”

Silence falls like an anvil pushed over the side of a cliff in an old cartoon, and I’m not sure whether I’m the roadrunner or the coyote. I feel the weight of it crushing my chest. I can’t look at Cardan’s face.

Luckily, we are not left alone long. The door is opened without a knock by the Roach, the Ghost standing close behind him. No guns this time, just the undeniable certainty that I am wounded and we are outnumbered.

“You guys want to wash up?” the Roach asks. “Stretch your legs. We’ve got food out here.”

I look at Cardan without thinking, then quickly look away. “Sure,” I say. “Can I use the shower?”

“If you’re quick about it.”

I nod and ease myself toward the edge of the mattress, bracing myself against the wall to stand. A searing pain shoots through my injured leg, both from the sprain and the now-aching gunshot wound, and I grimace. I see Cardan sit forward as if to help me, but something in my face makes him keep his distance.

“I can help,” the Ghost says softly, moving into the room.

“I don’t think so,” Cardan says. “You shot her.”

“Let him help,” I interject, just to piss Cardan off. “He can make it up to me.”

The Ghost crosses the room and wraps an arm under my shoulders so I can lean on him. I begin to make my way out of the room, favoring my left leg. The Roach looks past me, at Cardan, and says, “Come on, kid.”

“Why am I ‘kid?’” Cardan asks as he stands, clearly irritated. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him jerk his thumb at the Ghost. “How old is this guy?”

“Older than you.”

“Not much,” Cardan snorts.

“I have a young face,” says the Ghost. That may be true. He looks somewhere in his twenties, although where is anyone’s guess. It’s a handsome face, at least. Good bone structure. And I am pretty sure his stick-straight spine marks him as ex-military, even though his sandy hair is long enough to curl a little. I am disturbed that, even up close like this, I can’t scent him at all. Those must be some strong maskers.

Cardan grumbles something under his breath and follows us out of the room, sliding into one of the folding chairs. The Ghost helps me into the bathroom, but closes the door behind me so I can wash off in private. There’s no shampoo, so I reconfigure my abused elastic and make my hair sit in a bun on top of my head while I use the soap to wash off. On the whole I am not much better, but I do feel more grounded, a little less grimy. I towel off, put my two-day-old clothes back on, and wash my mouth out with water before limping out of the bathroom.

The Ghost helps me into another folding chair and props my injured leg up on the empty sliver of Cardan’s chair. Cardan nurses a can of Coke, but as soon as I am settled he sprints to the bathroom to have his turn. The Bomb, seated to my right, wordlessly offers me a choice between a Slim Jim and a protein bar. I pick the protein bar and tear open the wrapper, nibbling at it as the Ghost checks my bandages. I had tried to keep them out of the water, but wasn’t completely successful, and he ends up re-wrapping the one around the graze. I do not look down and try to make myself eat.

It’s one of the good protein bars, at least. Peanut butter-flavored and doesn’t totally taste like chemicals. I make a mental note to check out the brand when I get back home.

If.

Cardan comes out of the bathroom with a hand towel draped around his neck, catching the drips from his wet hair. “Rolling out the red carpet, are we?” he asks. “Snacks, bespoke medical care…”

The Ghost, finishing with my bandages, stands and skulks to the wall. He seems to prefer standing to sitting. The Roach slides into the empty chair across from mine. “Finish your Coke,” he says to Cardan. “We’ll talk.”

Cardan scowls, but he crosses to the chair and sits down. He bumps my foot a little by accident, but doesn’t look at me. “It’s funny how when it was just me you guys were concerned with we were stuck in the room for twenty-three hours with no snacks, that’s all.”

I don’t want to admit it, but he has a point. “It is funny,” I say, looking at the Roach, who I’m gathering is the nominal leader of the group. “What is it about my dad that has you guys so spooked?”

“Do you know what Madoc does?” the Bomb asks. Her voice is curious and holds no malice, no expectation that I should know already. It’s concerning.

“He’s a lawyer. A good one.”

“That’s not the half of it,” the Roach says. “He’s a fixer.”

Cardan snickers. “What, like on Scandal?”

“Oh, kid.” The Roach shakes his head. “You wouldn’t joke if you knew the shit he’s cleaned up for your brothers. Or your father, for that matter.”

“I know a little,” Cardan replies, surprising me. “My dad had a few lawsuits mysteriously go away. ‘Settled.’ And everyone knew what he was.”

“What was he?” I asked, my stomach sinking.

“He was an alpha,” Cardan says, but he talks to the Roach, not to me. “The old school kind. It’s how he ended up with six kids. My mom—my real mom, who was, by the way, an omega, although none of us are supposed to talk about it—sure got a payout in order to go away. I wonder if Madoc had anything to do with that.”

I put my protein bar on the table, feeling ill. “No,” I say. “No, Madoc wouldn’t do that. He lives by a code. I mean, he was married to an omega. One of the partners at his practice—”

“Sure, there are jobs he won’t take,” says the Ghost, from the far wall. His arms are folded across his chest. “I know of at least one. And this sort of thing obviously isn’t his style. But he knows how the world works.”

I shake my head.

“You said you got krav maga training,” he continues, in a striking non-sequitur. “What else?”

“I—there was—” But I falter. Boxing, practicing on the well-used punching bag in our basement. Weekends spent at the shooting range, not just learning how to aim and pull a trigger, but how to clean a gun, how to take it apart and put it back together. The weeks in the summer that would always be reserved for a sort of improvised boot camp upstate. The Swiss army knives, engraved with our names, so we’d never be caught unarmed.

“He knows how the world works,” the Ghost repeats. “Enough to protect you from it.”

“And if it’s any consolation, my mom got a good enough payout to fuck off somewhere warm,” Cardan says, finally looking at me. “If that was Madoc’s work, he did her a favor. It’s not like she wanted to stick around, anyway.”

I don’t know whether I want to tear off the heads of everyone in this room or disappear. I can do neither of those things. I steady my voice and say, “So you guys don’t want to get cleaned up, is that it?”

“I know of your dad. Know some of his associates.” The Roach gives me a tight smile that seems to strain some of his scars. “Personally, I’d rather remain off their radar. Our employer wasn’t forthcoming about who you were, Jude Duarte, even though they knew, and none of us is thrilled about that. The Ghost is sorry for shooting you, by the way.”

The Ghost frowns. “I expected her to stop when she heard the warning shot.”

Unfortunately for him, I kept running. I am always running, and I never know when to stop. But I just shrug.

“We can’t let you go just yet,” says the Bomb. “But we’ll try to keep you more comfortable. Honestly, we thought this would be a twenty-four hour babysitting job, just watching him. It was supposed to be.”

“You could have left me on the beach,” I say angrily.

The Bomb and the Roach look at each other. “We thought you might help ensure Cardan’s good behavior,” the Roach says. “A… miscalculation.”

“One of the more astounding fuck-ups of our career,” the Bomb adds. She grins at me. “Turns out you’re an instigator.”

“Frankly, we now need the money from this job to disappear,” says the Roach. “But again, we’re not going to hurt you unless you misbehave. You have our word on that.”

“For what it’s worth,” Cardan mutters.

“And with that ankle, you’re not going to be mobile for a while anyway.” The Roach nods at my leg. “We’ll keep it wrapped. Make sure you’re both comfortable. The storm should blow over soon and then it’s back to your charmed life. College, yachts, whatever. Sound good?”

Even though I don’t want to, I glance at Cardan. He catches my eye, the corners of his lips turned down. We can’t say what we’re thinking: the storm’s barely begun. Because if I wake up the next morning in that cell with him, we’re going to have bigger problems than a sprained ankle. And we still don’t know which of our captors might also be alphas, so it isn’t safe to tell them a goddamn thing.

“Sounds great,” I lie. Cardan gives a tight nod.

We’re screwed.

Next

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

Twelve Days of Holly Jolly Tidings - Day 12

Disclaimers: I watched “Dash & Lily” the other day on Netflix. This story is LOOSELY based on that book and Netflix series.  I do not own “Dash and Lily” or Newsies or anything recognizable within the series.  There are occasional curse words throughout the series, nothing too horrible but there’s some. 

Catch Up Here

Tuesday, December 24

At exactly eight that morning, a knock sounded on her door. Already ready, she was dressed in a pair of jeans, a thick cable knit sweater and her boots. She had her bag swung across her chest. Throwing open the door, she grinned seeing Jack, dressed similar to her, holding two take away cups. “Good morning m’lady.” 

“Good morning, dear sir.” She took the cup of hot chocolate he offered, leaning in to give him a kiss. “How are you?”

Looking at her from head to toe, he grinned. “Good. You ready for your last adventure?” 

“As ready as I think I can be.” She made sure she had her bag, walking out of her apartment, shutting the door firmly behind her. 

Once outside, Jack offered her his elbow, slipping her arm in the crook of his elbow, grinning as they started their walk down the street. “So I gave you a hint last night . . . any idea where we’re going?” 

She had stayed up, later in her standards, trying to figure out where he was taking her. She had hit up all of her favorite places within the city the last eleven days. “I am officially stumped.”

“Good.” Jack grinned, as she gave him a look, taking a sip of his coffee as she did the same. “I was hoping that you wouldn’t figure it out.” 

Her lip pushed out in a pout as he leaned over and kissed it away. “Don’t worry . . . you’ll figure it out quickly enough.” 

They continued their journey throughout the city, Jack purposely winding throughout the streets, trying to throw her off.  “You’ve got me totally lost.”

He chuckled, glad his plan was working. “Good. We’re almost there.”

“And where exactly is there?” She raised an eyebrow, looking around the neighborhood they were lazily walking through. 

“Ah ah ah . . . nope. You’re not getting any additional hints from me.” Jack tutted, shaking his head. “All will be revealed in a little bit.” 

Nodding, she continued to match his stride as they walked. The neighborhood they were walking through was decked out in full Christmas decorations. She grinned seeing the wreaths deck the doors and the lights strung around the doors and windows. “What are you thinking about?” 

She was knocked out of her daydream by Jack’s questions. “Truthfully?” 

“No, I want you to lie to me.” Jack’s voice was full of sarcasm as she grinned, shaking her head. 

“Haha you’re a funny man. Well . . . I was thinking about how cool it would be to live in one of these brownstones all decked out for the holidays.” She shrugged, sipping on her drink. “They’re all decorated but they all have their own spin on color scheme and decorations.”

Jack nodded, his head swiveling as he took in the decorations. “Is that something you want? To live in a brownstone like this?” 

“I mean, eventually.” She scoffed. “I can’t actually afford anything in this neighborhood.” 

He laughed. “I’m with you on that. But maybe someday.”

“Maybe.” She echoed, getting lost in her thoughts once more, that she failed to notice what they were coming up on, until Jack stopped her, giving her a look. 

“Surprise.” 

Her eyes widened as she took in the many stalls of a Christmas Market at Bryant Park. She had always loved strolling between the booths, looking at everything that was offered and often picking up a Christmas present or two along the way. “You really do know me way too well.” 

“I would hope after five year together that I would know a lot about you.” He teased, as she hip checked him, laughing at his offended pout. 

She leaned forward and kissed him, successfully wiping the pout off his lips. “So what’s the game plan?” 

“I was thinking we’d spend the next few hours wandering in and out of all the booths. We have somewhere to be at 11 so we’ve got some time to wander.” He said, unhooking her arm from the crook of his elbow, opting to lace his fingers with hers. “Do you need to look for anything special?”

She reviewed her list in her head. She was done shopping for everyone in her life. “The only thing I’m looking for is an ornament for this year.” 

“I think we can cross that off your list.” Jack grinned, squeezing her hand. “How about we start wandering and seeing what we’ll come across?”

And so they did just that.  There were about 60 booths and each booth had something different, so it was a must to visit every single booth so as not to miss out on anything.  Jack mostly hung back while Kat talked with the sellers, exciting talking about the holidays and upcoming plans. A few times Kat must’ve said something about him because moments later both Kat and the seller were looking over at him in amusement. He meekly waved, causing both women to giggle and turn back to talking. 

Soon Kat joined him as they wandered through a couple more stalls. As Kat was distracted by one of the booths, Jack wandered off to go look at something. He quickly found what he was looking for, purchasing it and was back at the booth before Kat even knew he was gone. 

She joined him as they continued their journey. “Wanna grab some food?” 

Jack nodded, as they looked around for a place to sit and order some food. A little booth caught their attention and they quickly made their way over to it to order.  Sitting at the table, Jack looked over at Kat with a grin. “Having fun so far?” 

“Yeah.” She grinned. pouting. “But I haven’t found my ornament yet.” 

 Jack looked around the square. “We’ve barely gone to half of the booths. I’m sure there’s going to be something that catches your attention.” 

“You’re right.” She nodded. “Is there anything you’re looking for?” 

Jack shrugged. “I’m not looking for anything in particular. Just browsing, seeing what people are offering.” 

As their food arrived, a band started up just to the left of them. Jack smiled watching Kat sway to the music as she ate her food. “What?” 

“Just watching you and continuing to fall in love with you.” Jack grinned, popping a blueberry in his mouth. 

A light blush crept onto her face as she looked down at her Belgian Waffle. She bit her lip, a smile fighting to appear. “Thank you.” 

“You don’t have to thank me . . . just telling you how it is.” He laughed as they continued to eat in silence, the music from the band a perfect background filler. 

Lifting his fork, he snuck a chunk of her Belgian Waffle as her mouth dropped open. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that you don’t steal food from someone’s plate?” 

“You steal my french fries all the time.” Jack gave her a look, his eyes wide challenging her. 

Shrugging, she plucked a strawberry from his plate and popped it in her mouth. “That’s different.” 

“In what way?” He argued back, stealing another piece of waffle, quickly dodging her ill attempt to hit him. 

Taking a sip of her coffee, she mulled it over for a moment. “It’s written in the girlfriend code . . . didn’t you have to sign one when we started dating?” 

“Hmm . . . was that a document in that big stack you gave me before you accepted a date with me?” His eyes went wide as she giggled. 

“Yep!” She continued laughing, pushing her plate away. “That was good but I’m full.” 

Gathering their trash, they quickly disposed of it before lacing hands. Jack pulled her close to him as they started slow dancing along with the band as they played “Winter Wonderland.”  Throwing an arm around his shoulder, she laughed as he led her through the steps. For someone who proclaimed he wasn’t a good dancer, Jack actually did quite well, not messing up at all. 

Once the song was finished, a couple of people clapped around them as blushes crept up both of their faces.  “There’s your daily dose of embarrassment.” 

“Thanks for that.” She squeezed his hand. “You know, you’re actually a pretty good dancer, despite your protests. Who taught you?” 

“Medda actually.” Jack grinned, as her eyes lit up. 

Medda was their residential hall “mother” back in their freshman and sophomore years in college.  She watched out for all of her residents but Spot, Race, Kat, and Jack all held a close place in her heart and she adopted them, along with Albert and Finch. She was the one they would all go to if they couldn’t talk about their issues with anyone - she was that calming presence and they all thought of her as a second mother. Medda was the one to always have a stash of candy in her office and would bake homemade goodies to bring them. More than once in college, they had all arrived on her doorstep in need of a hug and a warm meal. 

“When did she teach you?” Kat asked, as they started their journey towards more booths. 

Jack squeezed her hand, pulling her towards a booth. “Just before Amelia’s wedding.” 

Amelia was Katherine’s freshman roommate who got married just after she and Jack got together. It was the first time Jack had seen Kat in a dress and heels. Though he loved how she looked, it wasn’t anywhere in his top ten favorite looks of hers, not that he would ever tell her that. 

Kat raised an eyebrow as Jack continued. “I was worried about making a fool of myself, since you were a bridesmaid and all. I asked Medda for some help and she roped Race, Spot, and Natalie into helping. Race was natural due to dancing already but Spot and I were a mess.” 

Natalie was Kat’s other roommate and had a fond spot for Jack. “I bet Natalie hated all three of you.” 

“She did . . . until we figured out how to dance and not step on her toes.” Jack chuckled, pausing to look at a couple of knick knacks at a booth. 

“How long did it take you?” Kat asked, looking at a couple of ornaments, not finding what she had in mind. 

Jack sighed, tilting his head back slightly. “I think we practiced for two weeks. I was so nervous when the bridal party had to join Amelia on the dance floor. I just kept thinking to myself not to step on your toes or embarrass you.” 

Throwing an arm over his shoulder, she leaned over and placed a kiss on the corner of his lips. “Can I tell you a secret?” 

“What’s that?” 

“I was so nervous to dance with you. We had only been dating for a couple of weeks at that point and one of our first big outings as a couple was a frickin’ wedding. It was a lot of pressure for a girl . . . not to mention it was all the bridesmaids could talk about once Amelia showed them a photo of you. They all thought you were ruggedly handsome.”  She laughed as Jack stood a little taller at the compliment. “Not to mention how they all hit my shoulder for downplaying how gorgeous you were in real life.” 

Throwing his head back, he laughed loudly. “Little did they know how gone I was for you and didn’t even bat an eye in their direction.” 

“The same was for me.” She kissed him again. 

Jack’s ears perked up as the clock at the church struck 10:30. He looked over at Kat who was purchasing something, glancing over her shoulder at him. He gave her a little wave as she turned back to the seller, murmuring a few words before walking back over to Jack, slipping something in her bag. 

“You good?” He asked, as she glanced around the area, before nodding. “Good. Let’s find a bench . . . there’s something I need to give you.” 

Her eyes lit up at the prospect, slipping her hand into his before letting him lead the way.  They walked for a little bit, getting out of the Christmas Market and heading to Central Park.  They walked for a bit, trying to dodge all of the last minute shoppers as they made their way along the sidewalk. 

Jack tucked her arm in the crook of his elbow, ensuring that she didn’t get lost in the shuffle of the hubba babloo of the city.  He heard her laugh at something as they crossed the street, walking into one of the many entrances of Central Park. Quickly locating an empty bench, Jack led her over to it, pulling the familiar notebook from his coat. “In the rush of the day, I kinda forgot to give you this this morning.” 

Accepting the notebook from him, she slung her bag onto the bench, sitting back and cracking open the book, flipping to the correct page. A smile crossed her lips, seeing a rough sketch of them sitting on the couch in her apartment drawn out on the page for the day. 

Katherine, 

Happy 12th day of Christmas and Happy Christmas Eve. I hope you have had a wonderful morning so far. I kept the Christmas markets for the last day so I could go with you . . . it’s fun to see your face light up at each booth’s offerings and the way you engage with each of the owners. 

So I’m going to let you in on a little secret . . . another favorite outfit of mine. Don’t get too excited but it was the outfit you wore when you first came to volunteer with me at the Children’s hospital. You wrote a red sweater dress, leggings, and your boots but that’s not the only thing I remember from that night. The thing that remains stuck out in that memory is the way you interacted with each child you came in contact with.  You spent so much time with them, them believing you were one of Santa’s elves, they wanted to make sure they told you everything they wanted. And you patiently sat with them, coloring, and making notes so you could tell the Big Guy, or their parents. 

I remember Maggie coming up beside me and telling me I need to keep you in my life somehow because you were real, true, and genuine. And she’s right. You’re all of that. 

Pausing, she hastily wiped away tears that had clouded at her eyes as she read Jack’s words. She heard Jack chuckle as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Keep reading.” 

But what I didn’t tell anyone, or even you until now is that I kept thinking about how amazing you’d be as a mom. You would be patient, loving, kind, and so supportive . . . which got me thinking about our future kids but not for a long, long, long, time. 

Laughing, she shook her head at her boyfriend. continuing to read. 

But that’s not for a long time. Maggie mentioned something that night that has stuck with me all these years. She mentioned how more laid back I am when you’re around. She said that it’s almost that I can relax and not be on edge when you’re around me and it’s so true. I never realized it but it’s really true. 

So we’ve got a few more places to visit before the day is over. Don’t fret . . . just take every moment in. 

Love you, 

Jack 

Closing the book, she tucked it in her bag, leaning over and kissing him. “You never fail to make me cry when I read these entries.” 

“I don’t mean to . . . it’s sometimes easier to write everything down than to tell you face to face.”  He confessed, shrugging before pushing off the bench. “Come on, we’ve got places to go and people to see.” 

Accepting his hand, she grabbed her bag, allowing him to pull her to her feet. Still holding her hand, he tugged her closer to his side. “I love you, Kat. Thanks for going along with my hair brain idea.”

“I love you too, Jack. I’ll always be your sidekick.” She giggled as they made their way through the park.  

As they walked, Kat’s eyes kept dashing around the park, laughing a few times at the kids who were running around while parents walked lazily behind them. Feeling Jack squeeze her hand, she looked over at him with a grin. “Happy?” 

“It’s Christmas Eve, of course I’m happy. It’s fun watching the kids run around in the snow and trying to wear off energy so they don’t drive their parents nuts.” She said as a family caught her eye building a snowman. “My dad used to bring my brothers and me to the park to build snowmen so mom had time to wrap presents. He used to bring us through the Christmas Market in case mom needed more time.  Hot Chocolate was always given as a bribe, not to tell mom what we got up to in those afternoons out.” 

Jack laughed, nodding. “It was similar with dad, Maggie and me. Dad would take us out, giving mom an opportunity to wrap all the presents. Anything that wasn’t from Santa would end up under the tree. Maggie and I couldn’t touch the presents or they would all be shipped back. No matter how many times that was said, they never were. I think my parents were worried the two of us would destroy the house before Christmas morning.” 

“I mean, they probably did have plenty of cause to worry.” Kat grinned while Jack hip checked her. She yelped, shaking her head, giving him a look.  “You know I’m not lying and there’s some truth to the statement.” 

“You’re right . . . Maggie and I were hellions when we were younger. It wasn’t until we both hit our teenage years did we calm down slightly.” Jack admitted sheepishly, while Kat threw her head back and laughed. 

“Part of me would’ve loved to know you in high school and even in the beginning of college but meeting you in Junior year was perfect.” She smiled. 

Jack smiled, as he led her into a more secluded part of the park. “You would’ve hated me in high school and probably even in my freshman and sophomore year of college. I significantly calmed down junior year so I’m glad I didn’t meet you until then. You probably would’ve been running for the hills if I had met you any earlier.” 

“I don’t think I would’ve hated you . . . I think I might have been a bit cautious.” She hesitated to tell him that but didn’t have to worry as he laughed. 

“You were hesitant to date me when you did finally meet me.” He smirked. “I saw you around campus a lot, always surrounded by people. Spot told me your name in Sophomore year and I kept hoping we’d have a class or two together but fate never stepped in.” 

She barked out a laugh. “Spot told you my name?” 

“I mentioned that I saw you around campus once and Spot blurted out your name one time. Him and Race turned that into an opportunity to tease me about you.” Jack shook his head. “Race was especially awful when you and he had that Speech class together. They almost staged a run-in just so they could introduce me to you.” 

“Little did they know we would meet each other all on our own.” Kat beamed as Jack led her through the Bethesda Terrace.  Looking at the architecture and the gorgeousness of the terrace all decked out in Evergreen for Christmas, she looked over at Jack but didn’t see him, until she looked down. 

“I’ve been carrying this around for the last eleven days, trying to figure out a good time to ask you. You have been a bright light in my life for the last five years and I love you. I love you and can’t imagine my life without you in it. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?” Jack’s eyebrows rose as he cracked open the ring box. 

Tears clouded her eyes as she nodded excitedly. “Yes, Jack Kelly, I will marry you.” 

Pushing off his knee, he scooped her into his arms, twirling her around as they both cried excitedly. Lowering her to the ground, Jack cupped the side of her face, leaning in and kissing her. “You said yes?” 

“Yes, Jack. Yes, I will marry you.” She said as he kissed her again before they broke apart by clapping within the terrace. Pulling away, they looked at people standing around watching them get engaged. “I guess I should give you this.” 

Showing her the ring box, he took the ring out before slipping it on her ring finger.  She held up her hand, admiring the oval emerald ring, flanked by diamonds as it laid perfectly on her finger.  For the first time, in a long time, she was speechless and didn’t know what to say.  “I love you, Jack. This is gorgeous.” 

“I love you Kat. I’m glad you like the ring - it was actually hard to pick out which one I thought you might like.” Jack leaned forward and kissed her again. “And thank you for saying yes. I didn’t know if you could tell I was nervous.” 

She grinned, shaking her head. “As if I was going to say anything else. And no, I couldn’t tell you were nervous.” 

“As soon as you said yes, all the nerves went away and all I saw was our future.” Jack leaned over and kissed her again.  “I love you fiancé.” 

Her eyes lit up at that name. “Fiancé has a nice ring to it.” 

Several Hours Later

He tugged on her hand as he led her up the path to the house. Squeezing her hand, he pulled her close, kissing her. Opening the door, he tugged her inside, slipping off his shoes, allowing her to do the same before they walked down the hallway to the kitchen. He grinned seeing his parents, Maggie, and Brendan standing there. “About time you two show up. We were starting to worry.” 

Jack grinned at his dad, his eyes glancing over to Kat. “Sorry about that. We got caught up in the afternoon.” 

“It was your last adventure, wasn’t it Katherine?” His mom asked. 

Kat looked from Jack to his mom grinning.  “It was. We hung out in the Christmas Market at Bryant Park.” 

“Good day?” Maggie asked with a knowing grin. 

Jack nodded. “The best.” 

His parents traded glances, looking between their children. “Why do I feel like I’m missing something?” 

Jack pulled Kat close to him, grinning at his family. “Because you kind of are mom. Earlier today, I asked Kat to marry me and she said yes.” 

A cheer went up in the small kitchen as his mom and Maggie came over to hug Katherine while his dad and Brendan came over to shake his hand and congratulate him. Glancing over at Kat, he sent her an air kiss followed by an “I Love You.” 

Later that evening, after dinner was served and things had settled down, Jack and Kat sat on the couch looking at the tree. The gifts have been given, everything unwrapped and oohed and ahhed over.  She had gotten several wonderful gifts from Jack’s parents along with Maggie and Brendan. “Good Christmas Eve?” 

Looking up from admiring her engagement ring, she grinned leaning into Jack. “It was the best. It was wonderful spending time with your family. They’re so excited.” 

“They have always thought of you as a daughter, now it’s official.” Jack pressed a kiss to her lips. “Did you call your parents?” 

Shaking her head, she bit her lip. “No. I figured I’d tell them when they come back from their travels.” 

“Kat!” Jack was astonished at his fiancé’s flippant response. “Don’t you want to tell them?” 

Kat bit her lip and shook her head. “They haven’t been exactly supportive of our relationship in the last five years. Mom has this notion that I’ll marry a doctor while dad thinks I’ll just be alone for the rest of my life.” 

“Your dad doesn’t think you’ll be alone for the rest of your life.” Jack said off handedly, giving his fiancé a look. 

Her eyes went wide, listening to him. “What do you mean? Did you go talk to him?” 

“I may have. I went and saw him the day you went to the hospital.” Jack wrapped his arm around Kat, kissing her forehead. “I wanted to give him the heads up of what I was planning.” 

Kat looked over at him. “Did you ask him for his blessing?” 

“God no.” Jack snorted, shaking his head. “I just told him I was asking you to marry me and I hope he could support that.” 

She nodded, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I love you for doing that. What did he say?” 

“He didn’t say much . . . only that we should have dinner with them when they get back.” Jack sighed, cracking a smile.  “I’m sure that’s as much music to your ears as it is mine.” 

Holding out her hand, she grinned at him. “At least I have my partner in crime by my side. We can do anything together.” 

He laughed, his hands cupping her cheek leaning in, kissing her.  “I love you, forever and always, Kat.” 

“Love you too Kelly, forever and always.” She kissed him again, snuggling deeper into his embrace. 

“So I know I already gave you a gift but I got you a little something else.” He gave her a look, pointing to a lone bag with tissue paper in the corner behind the tree. 

She looked over her shoulder at him as she slid off the couch and onto her knees. Grabbing the bag, she pulled the tissue paper from it before pulling out an item wrapped in tissue paper. “What did you do?” 

“Just open it Kat.” He grinned, watching her carefully unwrap the item. She gasped as her eyes flew up to him. The item was an ornament that had “Just Engaged” painted on it with their names and the date below it. 

She grinned, holding it up so that the porcelain caught the lights of the tree. “It’s gorgeous, thank you.” 

“Got it at the market earlier.” He nonchalantly said, as she wrapped up the ornament before joining him on the couch. 

She eyed him curiously. “How were you so certain that I would say yes?” 

“A tiny part of me was worried about what you said but a bigger part of me knew you were going to say yes.” Jack grinned. “Besides you said that you were looking for an ornament for the year . . . and I think that one fits this year pretty well.” 

Leaning over, she captured his lips in a kiss. “You did good, Jack. I love you.” 

“Love you too Kat.” He smiled, kissing her again. “See you didn’t have to worry about your gift . . . you gave me the best gift by saying yes.” 

She snuggled into his embrace. “Sap.” 

“But you love my sappiness.” He chuckled, pressing a kiss to her head. 

They sat there in silence, enjoying the Christmas tree and reflecting on the last twelve days and the happiness they felt along with gratitude for everything that was in their lives. 

What do you think? Feedback would be wonderful and amazing. Thank you for following along on this journey with me! 

[t0ngue-tech]

Binding Force

“Yuanfen is the fate, chance or binding force that brings this person and other people or objects together.”

↠angst, soulmateAU, based on this AU i found on pinterest (obvi i made some changes huhu)↞

word count: 12.6 k OH MY GOD

↠oneshot↞

A/N: hi everyone! ive been working on this for a while and i finally brought myself to finish it! enjoy ^-^

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“And then let’s end the last hour in your dorm! How does that sound?”

“Perfect babe. Just perfect.”

In a few hours, Park Jimin was going to celebrate his 21st birthday and not only could he finally purchase alcohol legally and go to bars, he was going to be entering the long-awaited Yuanfen.

Yuanfen was a special moment in time for someone who was turning 21 because it meant the entire universe was going to freeze for 24 hours except for the birthday celebrant and their soulmate. The entire world was their oyster and excited was an understatement for Jimin and his girlfriend, Momo.

Jimin and Momo had been dating since Jimin’s sophomore year of high school while Momo was a freshman. They were close with each other’s families, they got accepted into the same university, and after dating for so long, they believed that they were meant to be. A lot of their friends believed it as well and no one could ever imagine them dating other people.

But, of course, they didn’t want to celebrate Jimin’s 21st birthday without their friends.

The university had a bar-like-lounge off-campus two blocks away from the main building that students frequented to and they all chipped in to rent one of the sections off to celebrate Jimin’s birthday there. Thankfully, his birthday landed on a friday and no one of their friends had a class on Saturday which meant they could drink till their hearts’ content.

“Something tells me Jungkook did something headass like make decorations of all the derp selfies I ever took.” Jimin held the door open for Momo and placed a hand on her lower back.

“I think you’re over exaggerating.” Momo grabbed onto Jimin’s hand and guided him through a section of tables, chairs, and clusters of people.

In a few more feet, Jimin could see photos of his head scrunched down until his chin reached his chest taped onto the wall and he stopped in his tracks. “Babe.” He sighed in defeat.

“What? I think you look handsome.” Momo gave him a peck on his cheek and pulled him by the hem of his shirt, leading him to the back room where all of the decorations were.

Once they stepped out of the walkway, streamers and confetti popped from either side of him and their friends, who were wearing homemade masks of Jimin’s derp selfies, all shouted at the same time, “Happy birthday, Jimin!”

↠↞

“Jungkook, you think you’re funny, huh?” Jimin ripped off the mask of his friend and put him into a headlock.

“Ow—ow! Hey! We all decided on this—even Momo!” Jungkook tapped out, constantly swatting at the sleeve of Jimin’s leather jacket.

“But whose big idea was it?”

“It was me and Jungkook’s.” You emerged from the side and attempted to help Jungkook who was still struggling to escape Jimin’s clutches. “Happy birthday!”

Jimin laughed and tossed Jungkook aside to wrap his arms around you. Jungkook, on the other hand, argued about how he let you off the hook instead of gathering you into a headlock. But you two weren’t listening. 

“Where’s Taeyong?” Jimin asked.

“He’s buying another bottle of liquor just in case.” You emphasized the word ‘just’ as you fixed up his leather jacket. “I see you’re still enjoying my birthday present from last year.”

“Yes and thank you again. It goes well with a lot of my shirt.” Jimin show cased the white v-neck he wore underneath his leather jacket, striking poses as if there were paparazzi in the room.

“Y/n!” Momo jumped onto you, smothering you in a tight hug. “I fucking missed you! I haven’t seen you since midterms started.”

Momo was a dear friend of yours. You’ve known her since middle school and actually, you were the one who introduced her to your photography partner in yearbook back in freshman year. She profusely thanked you for introducing her to Jimin as the years went on and they were in a relationship. As a thank you, she introduced you to Lee Taeyong, a friend of hers from the dance team. This led to you and Taeyong dating since your sophomore year of high school.

The four of you were almost always together because Taeyong and Jimin became close friends through you and Momo. Your friendship only deepen because you all applied to the same university. There was complete trust between the four of you which meant that Momo didn’t mind if you hung out with Jimin and vise versa.

“After midterms, you and I need to go out and get a fucking drink together.” You gently spun her around, being cautious of her heels. “I hope you don’t mind if I steal her away from you for a bit, Jimin. She was mine first.”

Jimin smiled and gave you the ‘okay’. You walked towards a table, arm in arm with Momo, that carried all of the alcohol. It was going to be an amazing night, you could feel it in your bones.

/

Almost two hours had passed and within those two hours, Taeyong showed up with two more bottles of alcohol, Jungkook was already drunk and kissed Jimin on the cheek, twice, and Jimin was already five shots and multiple mixed drinks in.

Jimin was now sipping some water trying to sober up to be in the right mindset just in time for Yuanfen. He glanced around the room, satisfied that all of his friends were enjoying themselves.

Jungkook was trying to steal all of the snacks away from Seokjin, Taemin was pouring up another round of shots for Seulgi, Yoongi, and Namjoon, and You were sitting on Taeyong’s lap while Momo sat on yours. He was celebrating with a colorful group of friends that he wouldn’t for anything else in this world.

He found himself daydreaming about the full 24 hours he was going to have with Momo. The entire world around them was going to be put on pause and he was looking forward to wreak havoc on campus and certain parts of the entire dormitory with his soulmate.

“Baby.” Momo joined Jimin on the sofa and cuddled into his side, wrapping her arms around his torso. “Only five more minutes.”

Jimin kissed her forehead and squeezed her shoulder. “Why don’t we leave early, hm?” 

She tilted her head to place light kisses all over his neck. “I think you need to calm your hormones for five more minutes.”

He snickered at the feeling of Momo’s lips tickling his skin. “How can I calm down when you’re dressed so beautifully?”

It already seemed like the world stopped around them because no matter where they were, Jimin only had eyes for Momo. He didn’t mind the people around them. The only thing that mattered to him whenever he was spending time with his girlfriend was his girlfriend and his girlfriend only.

“You two only have a couple of minutes left, keep it PG, please?!” Seulgi faked her gag and shielded her eyes.

“Cut us some slack!” Momo yelled back with a smile over the loud music. 

Jimin looked at his phone and watched as 11:58 PM turned into 11:59 PM. There were still a lot of people who were enjoying their drinks in the lounge and all of his friends were constantly checking their phones and watches, shooting quick glances at him and Momo with suggestive smiles on their faces.

The last minute felt like an eternity and Jimin placed a hand on Momo’s knee. On an impulse, he cupped her cheek and gazed into her eyes. 

“I love you.” Jimin said breathlessly.

“I love you, Jimin.” Momo raised her chin, capturing his lips in between hers.

Once their lips touched and eyes fluttered closed, there was the sound of a wind chime ringing throughout Jimin’s head. Something inside of him rattled inside of his chest and that feeling only meant one thing: it was Yuanfen.

Jimin was almost too excited to open his eyes, but he knew he had to stop kissing Momo at some point. He extracted himself away from her face and slowly, he opened his eyes until snapping them wide open.

At first he thought this was apart of the entire process of entering Yuanfen; the birthday celebrant would enter first and after maybe after a few minutes, their soulmate would enter too. But two minutes passed and Momo had her lips protruding out and eyes were still closed.

“M-Momo?” Panic shot right through Jimin’s body and he instinctively reached out to grab her hand, but even after doing so, Momo remained still.

This wasn’t happening. 

Momo and Jimin ultimately believed with their whole heart that they were soulmates. They were supposed to be leaving the lounge right about now to raid the school’s cafeteria of their cookie dough ice cream sandwiches.

There had to be some sort of mistake.

“Tae-Taeyong?!”

Jimin didn’t realize that the music of the lounge was also put on pause until another voice bled out into the atmosphere; it wasn’t Momo’s.

Like his entire world was moving in slow motion, Jimin turned his direction to where the voice came from and found you roughly holding Taeyong’s face in your hands. He was stuck in a mid-laugh type of expression with you still balancing on his thigh.

“Taeyong, what—?”

“Y/n.” He called out and at the speed of light, you darted your attention towards and he noticed a panicked look in your eye.

↠↞

What in the actual fuck was happening?

You were sitting on the lap of Taeyong, your boyfriend, whom you loved with all of your heart. He was just telling you a hilarious story that happened in his economic class and next thing you knew, there was a delicate ringing sound inside your head. Every movement and sound was put on pause, everything but you.

You waited for Taeyong to finish his story and it finally clicked that he was frozen. Why was he frozen? Why were you able to move your limbs to clutch his face? It took you awhile, but you found your voice and called out Taeyong’s name. He still wasn’t answering. There had to be something incredibly wrong because the silence was deafening until the urgent sound sound of your name was being dispatched from across the room. To your shock, you were staring into the desperate eyes of Park Jimin.

“What time is it?” Jimin asked quietly.

“Um—“ You reached into your back pocket for your phone and with a barely audible tone you said, “12:06 AM.” 

“B-But Momo is—“ He frantically looked back and forth from you to Momo. “Is this really Yuanfen?”

You climbed off of Taeyong’s lap and took another look around the room. You even walked out into the bar area where the other booths and tables were. All of the patrons were stuck in time; some were even tilting their head back to down a shot.

“Everyone is fucking frozen, Jimin.” You walked back into the room and Jimin was pacing back and forth trying to get one of their friends’ attention.

“This doesn’t make sense.” Jimin sighed, roughly running a hand through his hair. “Yuanfen is for soulmates. Momo and I—We—“

You could tell Jimin was trying to find the right words to say without offending you. “I know, Jimin. I love Taeyong so much. He’s my boyfriend and he’s—“ You walked over to Taeyong who still didn’t budge. “We can’t really be… you know… right?”

How could you say it? It was one word, two syllables and saying it would only make you feel guilty.

Your chest was starting to feel tight and tears welled up in your eyes. There was a point in your relationship where you also gave the idea of being soulmates with Taeyong some deep thought. You two had a late night conversation about what you wanted to do when Taeyong turns 21. He wore a bright facial expression as you two talked and it was clear that he also believed that you were his soulmate. But now that whole idea was crumbling at your feet and the pieces were too small to pick up and put back together. 

Park Jimin was not your soulmate. He couldn’t be.

“This is fucking crazy. There has to be a loophole in this.” Jimin sat back down and whipped his phone out.

You carefully sat down next to him to peer down at his phone. He was googling something about Yuanfen and if it was possible to get soulmates mixed up.

It was always easy to sit beside Jimin. There was never a time where you felt uncomfortable around him except now. You kept enough space in between the two of you and looking at him started to hurt.

“Nothing.” Jimin tossed his phone to the side and buried his face in his hands. “There has been no cases about people having the wrong soulmate, Apparently the people who thought they had a different soulmate ended up marrying the one who they were with on Yuanfen—”

“Stop, Jimin. Please.” You stood up and rubbed your temples.

Hearing the word marriage made you squirm. Marrying Jimin? No offense, but you wouldn’t. He was like a brother-in-law because you treated Momo like a sister.

Oh, god. Momo. 

Momo was a sister to you and if she found out that you were Jimin’s soulmate and not her… 

“What are we supposed to do, Jimin?” You walked over to Momo and gently tugged at a strand of her hair.

Jimin blew out a breath and stuffed his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. “Let’s go outside for now. We need some air.”

He walked out first and you were hesitant in following him, not wanting to leave Taeyong, but he was right. Being in that room was suffocating you and you need to get away from it.

↠↞

The outside was no different than the lounge; students who were walking were stuck in one spot and cars were stopped. The only thing that wasn’t frozen was the cold air and brushed against Jimin’s face. He looked around and took a deep breath. Was it wrong to wish that he was dreaming? 

You were a great girl; excellent grades, passionate about the things you loved, and selfless. He was always inspired to continue his dream to become a doctor because even if being a lawyer was going to take years of education, you were determined to become one. Despite all of these things, Jimin was in love with Momo. He has been for years and it didn’t make sense to drop every single day he spent loving her just because the beholders of true love turned the hands of fate onto you.

“Why the fuck is it so cold? It was nothing like this this morning.” You emerged from the lounge, tugging at your sweater sleeves to cover your hands.

“Well, the sun is hiding.” Jimin watched his breath dissipate into thin air.

You chuckled and stood inches away from Jimin. “So… what did you two have planned besides the obvious.”

Jimin laughed because he knew what you meant by ‘the obvious’. “Uh, escaping onto the rooftops and lots of eating. Starting off with the cookie dough ice cream sandwiches from the cafeteria.” 

“It’s freezing and you two were gonna eat ice cream?”

It did sound absurd but there was a reason. “Yeah, it’s uh-it’s her favorite flavor so…” 

You nodded and kicked a stray rock onto the asphalt road.

“Do you want to go to the cafeteria? Hopefully there’s a stock on the orange creamsicles you like.” The offer Jimin made sort of came out on an impulse. He didn’t want to spend his birthday doing nothing and if you two avoided the whole being-each-other’s-soulmate a while longer, maybe doing things with you wouldn’t be so bad.

“Uh-yeah. Yeah, sure.” Jimin was a bit afraid you were going to reject the idea, but was relieved at your willingness to go.

↠↞

“At least it’s warm in here.” You wrapped up the fourth popsicle stick inside the napkin that contained the rest of the trash you two had.

The cafeteria was pretty much barren. There were only a few students who were having breakfast for dinner at different tables across the room. You were sitting across from each other on top of one of the empty tables. Thankfully there were still a lot of ice cream choices left inside of the freezer and you took advantage of the situation by taking handfuls of the orange creamsicles.

“You’re not hungry?” You questioned.

“Kind of. I thought the alcohol and all of those snacks you guys bought would’ve kept me full for a while.” Jimin leaned back on his hands and looked over to whatever the students were eating; cereal, french toast, and some were eating whatever what served during dinner.

“I could cook you something.” You tried to peer behind some of the counters to get a view of the kitchen. “Considering this ordeal, I can whip up something in the kitchen.”

“What is this? My birthday gift?” Jimin laughed it off because he knew you were way too busy to go out into the city to get him a birthday gift.

“It could be. If that’s what you really want.” You hopped off the table and trailed towards the kitchen.

Jimin let you walk off a couple of feet before silently following behind you. You’ve cooked for him a few times-mainly instant ramen or fried rice. Other times, you would bake cookies for Momo whenever you had time to go home during the weekends and she’d share with Jimin.

“I’ll take the food, but not as a gift.” He looked around the kitchen as you opened up cupboards, trying to find something decent to cook.

“How about pasta? Judging by some of the prepped ingredients, it seems like this was going to be tomorrow’s dinner.” You pulled out bowls of minced garlic and parsley. “Looks like shrimp linguine.”

Jimin gave you a thumbs up and propped himself on an empty counter space. There were student chefs still inside of the kitchen but they were mainly cleaning up pots and pans and taking back leftovers. The world was still silent besides the sounds of you opening the refrigerator and placing glass bowls on the counter, so he turned on some jazz music on a quiet volume to make the space feel cozier. You smiled at the familiar tune and turned on the stove to heat up water for pasta.

“I hope you don’t mind a simple white sauce. Alfredo would be best but I don’t know how to make that shit.” You confessed.

“You can make white sauce?” Jimin asked with a raised eyebrow.

You tossed a pinch of salt in his direction and smirked. “Watch me.”

↠↞

The early-early breakfast was honestly… lovely.

It’s been a while since you had a one on one meal with Jimin and you two shared a hefty conversation about how school was going for the both of you. The pasta you made turned out to be exquisite and he expressed how impressed he was about how well you were able to cook. You joked about making him garlic butter steak next time because it was your father’s favorite dish that you made for him, but you weren’t prepared for how quick Jimin agreed to try it.

Jimin complained about how much he wanted to perfect his cooking skills so he could stop spending a lot of money on pizza and burgers as a late night snack. Although you weren’t perfect yourself, you offered for him to shadow you if he ever also decided to visit his family on weekends. At some point, during dinner, some of the topics you two had touched up sounded a lot more friendlier than usual.

Casually inviting him over to your house to teach him how to cook the dishes you took pride in was already a red flag in treading rough waters. You’ve hung out with Jimin a lot especially with Momo, but the only time you two ever independently spent time together was in college; studying, sharing a snack during a one hour break in between classes. 

Jimin washed the dishes you two used as well as whatever pots and pans you used to cook everything; you didn’t take a lot of the ingredients so it would go unnoticed.

“Do you think the time of day changes during Lover’s Day?” You joined Jimin outside, still pulling your sleeves own past your fingers.

“I’m pretty sure. Why?” Jimin watched you shield yourself from the cold. “Ah. Here.” He stripped himself of the leather jacket and handed it to you.

“No, Jimin. I’m fine, I swear.” 

“At least wear it for now, we can head to my dorm to get you another jacket since it’s closer than yours.”

You stared at his jacket and gave it some thought.

Maybe up to his dorm won’t be too bad.

Well—

Okay, maybe it was bad.

Jimin’s roommate wasn’t in the dorm because he left early to go home for the weekend. You unzipped your combat boots and hopped on top of Jimin’s bed.

His dorm was neater than you remember. Even during the chaotic week of midterms, his desk was more put together than yours and your roommate put together. Despite random t-shirts and sweaters that were hanging over his bed frame, Jimin’s side of the room seemed so Jimin.

“Take your pick.” Jimin held his hand out to the portion of jackets and sweaters of his closet space. 

“Hmm…” You stared at the section a little until a familiar navy blue and yellow cuffed varsity jacket caught your attention. “Oh my god, that’s our high school’s varsity!” With a beaming smile, you jumped off his bed and walked over to caress the fabric in between your fingers.

“Yeah, four years at that hellhole and I still can’t bring myself to toss it out.” Jimin retrieved the jacket from its hanger and handed it over for you to wear.

You chuckled and proceeded to remove his leather jacket to wear the other one. “Four years and I still question myself why I never bought one.”

Jimin’s mouth gaped. “What?! You’re serious? Whose jacket were you wearing during high school?”

“Uh, Tae...yong…” His name fell from your lips like stones. What a perfect time for you to mention his name.

“Oh.” Jimin said flatly. “Yeah, of course.”

This wasn’t good.

You needed to say something, anything, because you didn’t want to have a conversation about love and soulmates at that moment.

“I—uh, I had to repurchase a varsity three times.” Thankfully, Jimin quickly continued the conversation towards a different route.

“You spent a total of 75 dollars for the same jacket on three separate occasions?!” You asked in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Jimin chuckled and walked towards his bed with you following behind him. “During spring fest during my freshman and sophomore year, I spilled paint when I was helping out with the banners. And the third time was during a food fight the seniors were having when I was a junior and I got nailed with all sorts of food.”

Jimin continued his story with more details. Within the conversation, you made yourself comfortable, lying down on his bed while he sat cross legged at near your feet. While talking, you noticed that he played with the stray thread of your socks that stuck out by your ankles.

“I like your socks.” He commented.

“Thanks.” You stared at your yellow Winnie the Pooh socks. “There’s a store near the bistro that sells super cute stationery, hair accessories, and even socks.” You stuck one foot in the air and wiggled your toes inside the cloth.

Jimin took hold of your ankle and rested it on his knee and examined the chibi characters of Pooh and his friends. You held your breath and continually told yourself to fucking cool it. This wasn’t out of the ordinary. The only thing missing was Momo’s ankle resting on his other knee and Taeyong’s lap for your head to be resting on.

How were you supposed to adjust to this? What were the two of you going to tell Taeyong and Momo? You could already imagine the pained expression of your best friend and the absolute devastation of your boyfriend.

This was all a dream. You kept telling yourself this. It was a dream. 

↠↞

Five minutes passed and Jimin could feel a slight numbing pain in his right shoulder. He wriggled around and slowly opened his eyes, unaware of his surroundings. The last thing he remembered was slumping over a couple of inches away from your body while you dozed off. He could hear the faint sound of you breathing and it finally occurred to him exactly where he was.

Jimin had a clear view of a navy blue fabric and his arm. He realized that the navy blue fabric came from the jacket he let you borrow and that his arm slung over it.

In basic terms, he was cuddling you at your stomach area.

In a state of panic, Jimin gasped and reeled his arm back which prompted him to roll onto his back. But, he forgot that he was near the edge of his bed and rolling onto his back resulted in him landing flat onto the floor. The loud impact of his body and the floor caused you to flinch awake.

“Oh my god.” You rasped and sat up. “Oh my god!”

Jimin clawed at his sheet to get himself back on his feet and you scrambled up to assist him. “What happened?!”

“Well, I was just lying there and uh, I had that free falling dream. Right when I hit the ground in my dream, bam! My actual body exploded and I actually ended up on the ground here.” Jimin stammered and rubbed the back of his head.

You gave him a questionable stare before reaching out to check for any bumps on his head. “Jimin, you have a bump. Do you have any frozen items in your mini fridge?”

“No, sorry.” He winced touching the bump on the upper right part of his forehead. “But, the main fridge on this floor should have something.”

“Say no more. Let’s hurry to stop the swelling.” Instead of grabbing his leather jacket for Jimin to wear, you snatched a stray maroon sweater that hung off his bed.

Jimin lazily slid his shoes back on and was hastily tugged out of his room with your hand wrapped around his own.

“What time is it?” Jimin held a frozen hot pocket against the bump and blew on his cup of tea.

In the main gathering room of his floor of the dormitory, there was a living room with a large tv where most of the students gathered to play video games or watch netflix and a decent sized kitchen.

Students would normally label any food or drinks that belonged to them and sometimes there would be snacks that were labeled “for all” which was obviously for anybody who wanted it. There were boxes of instant coffee, hot chocolate, and teas that were meant for everybody and you brewed a cup of tea for each of you. 

“It’s about,” you took a moment to check your phone. “9 am.” 

Jimin choked on his tea. 9 am?! He swore only five minutes passed from when he woke up.

“Shit. I guess I didn’t realize how tired I was.” Jimin said, calming down from his fit of coughs.

“You and me both. It still feels like my feet are about to fall off from standing up majority of the night.” You strolled over to the couch where Jimin sat with your cup of tea in hand. Jimin noticed you were wearing a pair of his slides instead of your combat boots; probably from when you were rushing to leave his room.

“I bet.” Jimin chuckled. “How long did it take you guys to set up everything at the lounge?”

Jimin listened intently as you told stories about how there were many close calls where you and Jungkook almost ripped each other’s heads off. This was mainly because of the miscommunication on who had kept the derp pictures of Jimin and who held onto the money for alcohol and snacks.

Another hour had passed and Jimin spent laughing almost to the brink of tears with you. Everything felt natural, almost too natural. For a split second, Jimin forgot what Yuanfen was all about.

“Are you sure the bump is gone?”

Before he knew it, you two cleaned up and abandoned Jimin’s dorm to take a walk around campus.

The students from last night were still in the same position. The only things that changed were the weather and the time of day. You were a bit ignorant about Yuanfen, so Jimin took the time to explain some basics about the hidden holiday.

Yuanfen was a whole different world only to be seen through the eyes of the soulmates, so once the day is over, everything goes back to normal. 

Once everything goes back to normal, the day restarts and the memories of other bystanders remain what they were prior to being frozen in time.

As for the soulmates, Jimin chose to omit that information.

“Yes, I’m sure! Let me just check again just to make sure.” You stepped in front of Jimin and gently felt around his forehead and then traced your fingers through his hair to feel around for any bumps you may have missed.

He wasn’t sure when he started, but Jimin found himself staring into your eyes. How was this even possible? How were you his soulmate and not Momo, his high school sweetheart? But maybe, even just for a couple of hours, he could possibly see what it’s like if you were his—

“You’re good to go, Jimin.” You poked the center of his head, capturing his attention.

“Oh, yeah, great. Thanks.” He smiled shyly.

↠↞

There was nothing like a crisp fall morning; cool breeze, crunchy burnt orange leaves, and warm drinks. Your walk around the campus turned into a complete turn around towards your dormitory to get a cup of coffee—you both were obviously in an area with coffee however, the idea of walking all the way back to Jimin’s dorm felt like a hassle.

“Sorry about the mess. Dahyun and I have been way too busy to clean.” You rushed from your door to tidy up as much as you could.

“Hey, it’s no problem. It’s fine. You saw my place.” Jimin lightly placed his hands on your shoulders to gently pulled you back.

You patted the back of his hands and walked over to a side table that carried a microwave, a keurig, and a rack for k-pods.

“There’s vanilla creamer in the mini fridge underneath my bed and feel free to grab a snack.” You handed Jimin his cup of medium roast. “We also have some ramen bowls underneath Dahyun’s bed. She won’t mind, trust me.”

The last meal you two shared was the pasta you made last night and now it was the next morning and you two were going to have another meal with another form of noodles.

Normal. Things were still feeling normal, nothing awkward. You were having an innocent breakfast with your best friend’s boyfriend when in fact, he’s actually your soulmate. Yeah. Perfectly normal.

You glanced up and soaked in the image of Jimin harmlessly mixing around his ramen.

Was Jimin cute? Of course. Was he smart? Yes. Funny? Also yes. Was he perfect boyfriend material? Yes—but maybe, maybe not for you.

How could you possibly get used to this? You couldn’t shake the thought of Momo being incredibly heart broken. And of course, how in the world were you going to tell Taeyong?! You loved him. What were things going to be like if you told him about this?

“So…” you started off softly. “What are we going to do?”

“About our plans for today?” Jimin asked innocently.

You laughed and sucked in a quiet breath. “Yeah. Yeah, what should we do?”

Jimin took a sip of his coffee and looked up to your ceiling in search of an answer.

“Oh!” He clapped his hands, scaring you a little. “Let’s go to the frat house and raid their kitchen!”

“Ooh, let’s do it! You know, I heard that they have a whole ass stash of ramen bowls and coffee.” You mentioned.

Jimin widened his eyes as he lifted his chopsticks into his mouth. “I wonder what else they got?”

As Jimin spewed out a few snack items that he was hoping the frat house would have, you felt yourself zoning out. 

Jimin really is cute.

It was such a horrible thing for you to think of at this moment, but you always knew how cute he was but was he always this cute?

God, this was stupid. You were only having these thoughts because of stupid Yuanfen. This hidden holiday was messing up the wires in your head making you see Jimin in a whole new different light. This was probably a sign to try and see where things could go with him. It was a scary thought, but you did wonder.

“Y/n?”

“Huh? What?” You blinked out of your daze.

“What else do you think they have stashed there?”

Quick. Think fast. Pretend you were paying attention.

“Uh—uh, c-condoms?”

Great. Out of all things, y/n.

Jimin stared blankly at you with his mouth slightly open.

“Y-Yeah. Condoms. Those are, uh, those could possibly exist there.”

The air around you began to feel stale. Seriously, out of all the things you could’ve said—you just had to say condoms!

“So,” you coughed. “I also heard from Wonho that Hani and Suho have the Scholar’s Edition to the Pre-Med and Pre-Law class textbooks!”

Jimin’s eyes lit up and nearly choked on his coffee. “Those things almost cost as much as two classes!”

You gave him a big smile thinking about how it would be you two to get excited over textbooks.

“Exactly! So, while we’re at the frat house…”

“Y/n, isn’t that stealing?”

You paused for a brief second. “N-no. We’re just borrowing them. We’ll photocopy the pages and then we’ll just return them tonight.”

Jimin nodded his head in agreement and took the empty ramen bowls. “Sounds perfect.”

Noon came around in the blink of an eye and you two were trotting down campus towards the frat house. You’ve been to the house a few times, only to attend parties with Taeyong. 

The frat house was honestly incredible. A large kitchen, arcade games, and a basketball court right out back. A lot of money was spent to make the house what it was and it was quite obvious.

There was a party last night and there were still people hanging around the stairs and on the main floor, not to mention people sitting on other people’s laps. You both weaved around the sea of students in search of Suho and Hani’s room. Jimin reminded you to slowly open the doors just in case you were to walk in a freeze frame of two people having sex; if only he told you that prior to entering the house.

“God, I just saw someone’s bare ass.” You closed one of the doors behind you and slid your back down the door.

“That bad?” Jimin asked.

“Not only did I see ass, I saw legs thrown over shoulders.” You shuddered and covered your face with your hands.

Jimin chucked and pulled you back up onto your feet. “Come on, shaky. You’ll survive.” He squished your cheeks together before giving you a little nudge to keep moving forward.

After carefully snooping around for fifteen minutes, the textbooks were found and now it was time to raid the kitchen. You were surprised at how neat the kitchen was considering how much people lived in the house. On top of the cabinets, packages of ramen bowls and other microwavable food were stacked neatly. You climbed on top of the counter to grab a decent amount to refill both you and Jimin’s dorm rooms. Honestly, you were kind of scared because you were pretty much stealing. You’ll be fine right?

“Oh hell yes, they have honey butter chips!” 

You looked down and spotted Jimin rummaging through a cupboard. He pulled out four bags and smiled brightly.

“Did you get the goods?” Jimin grabbed a random reusable bag to stuff the snacks inside.

Still standing on the counter, you gently tossed the ramen and other foods towards Jimin who needed one more reusable bag. Jimin stood by the counter and stuck his hand out to help you get down.

Why were you so nervous?

Y/n, relax. He’s just trying to fucking help you.

You reached out to hold onto his hand. You crouched down to carefully place your feet one by one on the floor, but even with being careful, you still managed to misplace your foot.

“Whoa, I got you.” Jimin grabbed your waist and pulled you flush to his body.

Your face was way too close to his own and you made the terrible decision to lock eyes with Jimin. His eyes twinkled in the natural sunlight beaming through the window. A foreign look was glazed over his eyes and your breath was caught in your throat. 

“I—Thanks, Jimin.” You pushed yourself away from him. He still had a hold on your hand and as you walked towards the bags of snacks, his fingers slipped gently out of your grasp.

What the fuck is happening?!

There was a hundred percent chance that you were blushing, so you examined the packaged goods to calm yourself for a few seconds.

“Shall we go to the library to photocopy the book?” Jimin spoke.

“Yeah, let’s.” You turned and found Jimin’s back facing you. He seemed to be interested in the colorful refrigerator magnets. “Jimin?”

↠↞

What am I doing? Why did I do that? Fuck.

Jimin stared at an empty spot on the white refrigerator door and covered the lower half of his face with his hand.

This has to be cheating right? Momo’s my girlfriend but in the end, y/n is my—

“Jimin?”

“Sorry, yeah. Let’s go.” Jimin squeezed his eyes shut for a second and turned back to you to hold the bags.

After the ordeal, there was an awkward tension between the two of you and this was the last thing Jimin needed. It was only the afternoon and he still had the rest of the day to spend with you. If he was a horrible person, he would’ve suggested to spend time individually but he was a good person. He didn’t have the heart to leave you on your own.

The library was pretty much empty of students, only the still bodies of the staff were present. The copy machine was located on the fourth floor and it was a ghost town. Not one single person was on the floor. How much more awkward could it get?

“I think I’m going to the first six chapters because this medical book has about,” Jimin stared at the table of contents. “Eleven chapters.”

“Ugh. This stupid book has twenty chapters. Do I really want to become a lawyer? The chapters are way too long.” You sunk down onto the floor.

Jimin chuckled and booted up the machine. “Tell me about it. This pre-med book is pretty small but it costs so much.”

The awkward tension was slowly melting as the two of you complained and told horror stories about each of your majors. Jimin ranted on about how he almost changed his major, but the idea of taking more classes to fulfill another major’s prerequisites.

“I know! I almost changed mine too!” Jimin listened to you and the sound of you angrily flipping through the pages of the pre-law book. “But I thought about how angry my mom was going to be so I chickened ou-ow! Jesus!”

Jimin whipped his head around and you were examining your index finger. He retreated to your side and once again, held your hand in his own.

“Paper cut?” He chuckled.

“Y-Yeah.” You muttered. “Books are evil—I’m going to sue this book.”

Jimin laughed loudly and carefully pulled you up from the floor. “Alright, you sue the book and let Dr. Park fix up your finger.”

It wasn’t his intention, really it wasn’t, but Jimin walked down the stairs with you with your hand still in his. But what made his heart beat a bit faster was the fact you didn’t let go, you held on tighter.

“Let’s see. There has to be a first aid kit here somewhere—excuse me.” Jimin jokingly spoke to the still body of a library staff member sitting behind the main desk. He quickly found the transparent box labeled first aid.

“Alright, they don’t have any hydrogen peroxide, so I’m going to have to use an alcohol swab.” Jimin rummaged through the box and pulled out an alcohol swab, a tissue, and a bandaid.

“O-Or we can just leave it as is. It’s just a papercut, it’ll heal in a jiffy!” Your tone of voice was a bit squeaky and you took a step back.

“Aw, is y/n afraid of the alcohol swab?” Jimin cooed. “Your paper cut started bleeding so we have to kill the germs. Just relax. You’ll be fine in Dr.Park’s care.”

Jimin guided you to an empty rolling chair and knelt down beside you. With the utmost care, Jimin cradled your finger and dabbed the paper cut with the swab. Instantly, your hand tensed up but you stayed silent so he looked up to find your eyes screwed shut and bottom lip tucked between your teeth. He wanted to smile at the adorable sight of you being afraid but he switched his focus back on your cut, forcing his blush to dissipate.

Get your shit together, Jimin.

“Alright, Ms. Y/n. We’re all done here however, you don’t have insurance with me so the total price of this is another cup of coffee.” Jimin folded down the yellow polka dotted bandage around your finger and you scoffed at his witty remark.

“Alright, that seems fair. We can head back to my dorm after we finish up here.”

Before heading to your dorm, you made sure to take a detour to the frat house to return the books in its rightful spot; Being able to copy pages from the book for free was one of the things Jimin was thankful for.

By the time four o’clock rolled around, Jimin had four ramen bowls and two cups of coffee sitting in his stomach. He slouched in his seat trying to not regret eating so much. You were rummaging around your mini fridge looking for something sweet to balance out the spicy-savory taste.

Instead of pulling out some sort of dessert, you offered Jimin a shot or two of whiskey that you found hiding in the small freezer section of your fridge. Jimin was probably going to at least regret this, but he agreed.

After grabbing two bottles of coke from the vending machine in the hallway, one or two shots turned into killing half of the bottle. Jimin poured another round of shots into the coffee mugs and flickered his gaze to you.

Your cheeks were visibly red and your face was glowing. Your eyes were halfway closed and mumbled something incoherent.

“Maybe we should stop here, y/n.” Jimin laughed.

“No, no, no, no. I’m fine. I’m sober, I swear.” You slurred.

“I beg to differ. You should lie down.” Jimin left his seat feeling a bit dizzy, but still did his best to take care of you first.

“One more shot, just one more.” You reached to grab your mug but Jimin intercepted.

“No, y/n, come on. Just sleep for a few hours.”

You reached for the hand that took your mug away and brought it up to your cheek. “Just one more. Please, Jimin? One more and I’ll go to bed.”

Maybe it was the alcohol, but Jimin started to feel warm. “F-Fine. Just one and then straight to bed.”

You happily rubbed your cheek against his hand and tanked the shot followed by the chaser. Even in your drunken state, you obliged to Jimin’s condition and wobbled over to your bed. You took the open ended side of your bed and laid flat on your stomach.

“Y/n, don’t sleep on your stomach.” Jimin shook you, but you let out a soft whine instead.

Jimin swallowed hard, trying to get a clear grasp of his vision since he was also drunk, but definitely not like you. He carefully rolled you over onto your back and then placed one arm beneath your neck and the other underneath your knees to scoot your back towards the end of the bed. Just in case you needed to throw up, he grabbed your trash can and placed it near your head side.

“Good gracious.” Jimin breathed. He took one of the chairs and stationed it near you so he could keep an eye on you for a while. He closed his eyes for a few seconds in search of relaxation but he heard you talking. “Hm?”

“Yuan…” you sighed.

Jimin scooted his chair closer to hear you better.

“Yuanfen…” you finally said while opening your eyes. “That’s chinese. Chinese for binding...force?”

“Yeah. Something like that…” Jimin chuckled and brushed a few hairs out of your eyes.

You laughed and stared blankly into Jimin’s eyes. “Ohhhhhhh, that’s why it’s the perfect name for this holiday-thingy. A force to bind soulmates.” You whispered. “Hey, Jimnim…”

Jimin snorted at the butchered version of his name. “Yes, y/n.”

“We’re soulmates.” A soft chuckle pushed past your lips. “Soul. Mates. Me. You.”

The mention of being soulmates almost sobered Jimin up in an instant. You were drunk out of your mind, blabbering about anything so he tried to not take anything seriously.

But you know what they say about drunken words…

“Mhm. Soulmates.” Jimin sadly repeated.

“I’m sorry, Jimnim. I know I’m not your type to be a soulmate.” You brought your hand up to cradle Jimin’s face, tracing his cheek. “But I’ll do my best okay? I have to make Jiminim happy.” 

It almost felt like he couldn’t breathe. He had to keep telling himself that you were drunk. You were a drunk girl who had no idea what she was saying.

But honestly, your words cut him deep. Of course Jimin was disappointed about Momo, his girlfriend, not being his soulmate. He had thought about this day a million times over and he never would have imagined you in Momo’s place.

Jimin touched your hand that held his face and breathed in deeply. Your eyes were already seconds away from closing and Jimin smiled.

“I’ll do my best too.”

↠↞

You didn’t dare open your eyes. You were pretty much awake at this point, but even with your eyes closed, you felt the entire world spinning.

“Ugh, fuck me.” You finally gave in and cracked an eye open. It took you a few seconds to find the willpower to open your last eye and when you did, a wave of regret washed over you. “I drank last night, now this afternoon… I don’t ever want to drink again.”

Okay, that’s a lie.

After registering your surroundings, you cautiously tilted your head and found the fluff of Jimin’s black hair. He was sitting in a chair, hunched over at your side with his face stuffed in his arms and your hand was lost somewhere between his limbs.

The memories of you and Jimin sharing the whiskey you found came through in blurry pieces. You remembered venting to Jimin about how you wished you had ice cream in your fridge and then face planting onto your pillow; that’s all you could remember at the moment.

“Jimin… Jimin.” You rasped.

“Mmm, five more minutes.” Jimin grunted and shifted around in his seat without lifting his head.

“Jimin, get up, please. I have to use the bathroom.”

You waited and watched and Jimin’s shoulders rise and fall. He then sat up to rub his eyes and your hand was finally free.

“Can you walk?” Jimin questioned, already maneuvering around to help you sit up.

“Ugh.” Your stomach was not happy. “Yeah. Slowly though. The stupid bathroom is down the hall.”

Jimin helped you swing your legs down and you noticed him wince, probably also feeling sick from drinking.

“I got it, Jimin.”

“It’s alright. I have to make sure you make it safe.” Jimin brought you to your feet and supported your weight by throwing your arm over his shoulders. He put his arm around your waist, just like how he did at the frat house, and guided you to take small steps out of your room.

Your stomach was fluttering.

It’s the alcohol. It’s the fucking alcohol.

The whole time to the bathroom, using the bathroom, and then walking back, you were piecing together the puzzle pieces of the hazy interactions you made while wasted. The whiny conversation about how you wanted to drink one more shot became clear and you sort of remembered your failed attempts at saying Jimin’s name.

“I wonder where can we get some soup that’s not ramen soup base.” Jimin said.

You gave it some thought and then you remembered seeing instant miso soup packets at the frat house. As soon as you mentioned it, Jimin grabbed his varsity jacket to put on for you and then led you out of your dorm.

Walking outside seemed to be a bit difficult for you because you were still feeling dizzy after drinking a little more than what you originally planned. Jimin, on the other hand, looked a lot less miserable than what he did when you woke up from your nap. He did have a higher alcohol tolerance than you, but you still found it unfair that you were suffering alone.

“I hate drinking.” You complained.

Jimin snickered. “How are you feeling?”

“Like death.” You sighed. “I’m walking straight, right? It doesn’t feel like I’m even using my own legs to walk.”

Again, Jimin laughed and your stomach started to turn.

“You’re walking fine, but just for added security—”

The sudden touch of Jimin’s hand on your arm made you jump. He made you snake your arm around his to walk arm in arm to the frat house.

The alcohol in your stomach was really fucking with you and you desperately wanted to let go, but you enjoyed the warmth.

“The sunset is really pretty.” Jimin whispered and you couldn’t help but look at the profile of his face.

You could tell he was smiling by the way his cheek bone poked upward and all you could imagine was the way his eyes almost disappeared every time he smiled.

It was the warmth. You were enjoying the warmth.

The miso soup tasted like everything you’ve been missing in your life. The warmth of the soup sat happily inside of you instantly taking away the queasy feeling in your stomach.

Jimin finished his meal quickly and watched you eat with a small smile plastered on his face. He offered to make you more but you declined.

You were now watching his back as he washed the dishes. His body frame was completely different than Taeyong’s. 

Taeyong was taller than Jimin, but you were still much shorter than the latter. Jimin went to gym whenever he had free time, giving him a little more muscle mass than your boyfriend. You didn’t mean to compare, but your mind continued to wander. You thought about Jimin’s hands and how they gently cradled yours; they were soft yet sturdy, making you feel weirdly comfortable when you held his hands.

Your thoughts broke once Jimin turned on his heel. The queasy feeling in your stomach returned when he looked at you.

“Feeling better?” Jimin strode towards you and your heart began to beat faster.

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.”

What’s happening to me?

“So, what else is there to do?” He asked.

You gave it some thought.

“Have you been to the roof of the library?”

↠↞

Jimin stared in amazement looking over the campus. The purple-orange sky had begun to darken a bit with flecks of stars appearing on the canvas. He soaked up the evening air and looked off into the distance, realizing that the day was almost finished.

“Have a seat.” You lugged two wooden crates near the edge.

“This spot is unbelievable.” Jimin breathed. “Why didn’t you mention this place before?”

“I don’t know, I actually I don’t come here often. A friend of mine dragged me up here so she could paint the sunset.” You explained and Jimin nodded.

The world was so peaceful and quiet making Jimin’s thoughts roar even louder. If he didn’t talk about this situation with you, it would only get worse once time starts again.

He turned to you and felt his chest tighten at the sight of your hair messily falling in front of your face when the wind blew. With a thundering heart, he lifted his hands to carefully push your hair out of the way, making you look at him.

“I-I think we need to talk about us.” He finally said.

You let out a sigh and chewed on your bottom lip. “Y-You’re right.” 

The thought of Taeyong and Momo being completely heartbroken over the news ripped Jimin’s heart into two. “What are we supposed to do…? Momo and I had a future planned and now…” He dropped his head into his hands knowing that everything that he and Momo dreamed of was now nothing but a hopeless wish. 

“Jimin... “ You placed a hand on his shoulder. “If I could change things, I fucking would in a heart beat. I’m sorry that in the end… it’s me.”

He felt like a fucking jerk. Yes, he loved Momo. Yes, he had all these plans to marry her. But he didn’t need to smother it in your face to make it sound like you were a horrible candidate because after all, he was your soulmate too.

“No, don’t apologize. It’s no one’s fault.” Jimin explained. “You know y/n, truth be told, I really enjoyed today.”

He was now smiling thinking back to how simple the day was: eating, sleeping, gallivanting around the frat house, drinking again, sleeping some more, and now the day was ending with a breathtaking view. Studying with you in between classes was great, but it was nothing like this. It all seemed so different. Maybe because it was Yuanfen and the effects of the holiday was gnawing at his emotions or maybe it was because he held your hand for the first time, giving him new waves of emotions he never thought he’d feel before. Even if he was feeling guilty deep down, he was being honest. Jimin truly enjoyed the day with you. 

“I don’t--I don’t know, maybe we don’t have to tell them?” You suggested. “We could just let everything happen on its own.”

Jimin tented his eyebrows a bit. “Could you really go back to normal after all of this?” His words came out as a whisper. “I don’t know if I could.”

“But we have to, don’t we? I don’t even know where to begin telling Taeyong about all of this.” Now it was your turn to bury your face in your hands. “My friendship with Momo is probably going to be ruined after this. I don’t know how to look in the eyes of my best friend and tell her that her boyfriend is my soulmate.”

The sudden urge to hug you bubbled inside of Jimin. He fought it, pushed it down inside of him, but it clawed its way back up. He stood up and took your hand, just like how he had done throughout the entire day, and enveloped you into his arms. His arms settled around your waist and he pressed his nose in the crook of your neck. It seemed like you hesitated at first, clutching the sleeves of his jacket, but your snaked your arms around his neck to return the hug.

“I know that everything is just so messed up right now and we’re just forced to deal with this reality. I know that I may not be your type of a soul mate…” Jimin sadly remembered how you drunkenly spoke to him before knocking out. “But I’ll do my best, okay? I have to make you happy.”

You abruptly reeled yourself back, hands resting on his shoulders, and gasped. “Did I--Did I say that to you? That sounds familiar that’s why.”

Jimin nodded his head. “You said it when you were drunk, but listen, I also would change things if I could. But I need you to know that whatever happens, I’m going to learn how to lo--” Jimin swallowed hard. “I’m going to learn how to love you. As a man, I’m going to do my best for you. You’re my soulmate, y/n. It may not be what we want, but we can’t escape this. I promise to make you happy.”

↠↞

The feeling that flowed inside of you was a mixture of shock, confusion, and happiness? You weren’t sure where that last emotion came from. Hearing everything that spewed out of Jimin’s house was painful but so beautiful to hear. 

“What—” you whispered. “What brought this on?”

Jimin readjusted his hold on you, but still kept his hands on your waist. “I—I don’t know. I think it came from spending the day with you. It was different. We don’t usually spend time like this together.” 

It was true, not to mention, holding hands with Jimin while hanging out together was far from normal. You had to admit, you also enjoyed spending time with him. He cared for you the entire time and always agreed with your plans even though it was his birthday. There were times where your heart was about to burst out of your chest and deep down you knew why, but how could you admit it?

“I also enjoyed today. Thank you for taking care of me, Jimin.” You looked into his eyes and noticed how they sparkled even without direct light.

“Anytime.” The smile Jimin gave you was so gentle. He could probably feel your hands shake on his shoulders from being nervous.

Was it selfish to want to savour this moment for a little longer? 

After Yuanfen ends, how could things return back to normal? You needed to figure out a way to tell Taeyong. Would he still want to be with you and just fall out of love? The thought of that crushed you. You loved Taeyong so much, but he wasn’t your soulmate.

Jimin was.

Just like Jimin, you were going to learn how to love him. You were going to study his love language, learn what side of the bed he prefers to sleep on, and get to know his family. Somewhere deep inside of you scratched at your heart, begging you to realize that doing all of this was more of a want than an obligation.

You wanted to know more about Jimin on an intimate level. You wanted to plan a future with him. But the only hurdle in the way was the pain of having to tell Taeyong what happened.

“Y/n.”

You were so deep in thought, you didn’t realize you were still clinging onto Jimin who was also still holding you.

“Shit, sorry. I—”

“I know what I want as a birthday gift.” Jimin’s cheeks were flushed pink and his eyes shook as he stared into yours. He cleared his throat. “As a gift… can I kiss you?”

Were your ears deceiving you? Did Jimin just ask to kiss you? Sure you and Jimin were tossed into some fantasy world, but in this moment, were you dreaming?

“Wha-what?”

“I know. It’s a stupid request, but I was just thinking about how it would be to you know, kiss you.” The grip he had on your waist began to loosen, probably from wavering confidence. “If you don’t want to then—”

“N-No.” You held onto his shoulders a little tighter. “It’s alright. You can kiss me.”

Jimin raised his eyebrows. He was probably expecting you to refuse and you were honestly considering it, but you also thought about it at some point. 

What would it be like to kiss Park Jimin?

A broken sputter of words spewed past his lips. “U-Uh—um, okay. Okay.” His hands left your waist to rest against the small of your back, pulling you closer to him.

The action subconsciously made you raise your hands to gently cup his cheeks. Your heart was pounding and your breathing was audibly jagged.

Jimin lowered his head, leaving a couple of inches of space between his lips and yours. You stared at the thickness of his lips and the desire to kiss him grew.

Just before he moved in closer, you met his eyes once more.

“Happy birthday, Jimin.”

Initially, the kiss was quick—a peck on the lips that lasted about a second of two. But Jimin didn’t stop there. He tilted his head to capture your lips again to give you a gentle kiss, shyly moving against yours. You didn’t fight it—you didn’t even hesitate to replicate his movements and laced your hands into his hair.

Jimin’s lips were soft and he continuously kept pulling you closer to him, but you didn’t mind it. You were immediately intoxicated and addicted to the taste of his lips. 

This was a crime. You were both in relationships and here you were, kissing the boyfriend of your best friend. You had to stop...but…

I don’t want to.

↠↞

Instead of spending more time on the rooftop, Jimin suggested to retreat into the library to escape the freezing air. The library was a lot warmer than outside, but Jimin craved more warmth.

There were couches in the study area in the library, so without saying another word, he laid on the couch and pulled you in to have you flush against his chest. Was it his heartbeat that increased? Or was it yours?

Jimin took the liberty to set an alarm on his phone for 11:30 just in case you two fell asleep, which you both did. You probably drifted to sleep first because he caressed your back and you didn’t flinch one bit.

Bliss. Content. Peace. Guilt.

For once he thought, did today have to end?

The sky was now stained black with specks of stars fluttering around. The air was colder with a light breeze and the street lights were on, lighting the path of the sidewalk to the lounge. 

Jimin stared at the tips of his shoes as he walked whilst have his fingers laced in between yours. He still hadn’t figured out what exactly he was going to tell Momo. This whole situation was going to ruin four relationships: his and Momo’s relationship, you and Taeyong’s, his friendship with Taeyong, and your longtime friendship with Momo. It’s not like he was going to instantly make you his girlfriend after the whole matter was settled, it would be too soon; you probably thought the same.

“Jimin, we’re here.” You spoke, not even hiding the sadness in your voice.

“I don’t…” Jimin whispered. “I can’t go in.”

Your hand was trembling in his and he thought it was because you were cold, but he noticed you wiping your eyes with your free hand.

“Hey…” He breathed, turning you to face him.

“I-I’m sorry.” You sniffled.

Jimin’s heart ached. He shared the same pain; he had to tell Momo about this, but he didn’t know how.

He ran a hand through your hair to take a good look at your face; your eyes were glossy and the tip of your nose was tinged pink. It was too soon to think you looked absolutely adorable, but he couldn’t help it.

“It’s okay.” Jimin mumbled. He cradled your face and leaned forward to kiss the tip of your nose then placed a kiss on your lips. It was a subconscious action that shocked Jimin as much as it did you. It was his turn to apologize and even with the sad look in your eyes, you smiled and repeated his words “it’s okay.”

Jimin gestured you to walk in first and he followed shortly. Everything in the lounge remained the same, obviously. The main area of the lounge was flooded with college students and as he walked further towards the back, his party decorations came into view and the first person he saw was Momo.

She was sitting perfectly still, eyes closed with her lips poked out just as he left her. He sat beside her and stroked her cheek. Tears welled up in his eyes and just before a tear could spill out, the sound of a choked back sob filled the air.

Jimin turned to find you sitting on Taeyong’s lap; he was stuck in mid-laugh, looking as happy as ever. Your face was buried in the crook of his neck with your arms were wrapped around him.

It hurt watching you—everything hurt. In a couple of minutes, Yuanfen was going to end and reality was going to begin. He turned to Momo and his heart sank to his stomach. He never imagined being in this position. Would it still be possible to work through this? Could he and Momo still be a couple?

In one minute, Jimin was going to have an answer.

There was a soft wind-chime-like sound that played in his head, just like the one he heard when Yuanfen started. His chest rattled and slowly, the music of the room grew louder and laughter began to spread into the air. In his peripherals, people started to move around but all Jimin could do was stare into his lap.

“Babe?”

For the first time, Momo’s voice broke his heart. The tears that previously faded sprung back into his eyes and Momo panicked.

“Babe, what’s wrong? What happened?” She gently touched his cheek and it felt so different. Sparks would fly at the slightest touch of her fingers, but now…

“H-Hey, Jimin.” Momo’s voice began to fade in his head. He settled his attention towards the other side of the room where you were. 

It looked like you were still crying because Taeyong held onto your hands with a look of concern written all over his face. You turned your head and gave Jimin an unsettling look and tugged on Taeyong’s hand to lead him outside.

I guess we’re telling them afterall.

“Jimin.” Momo spoke. “Are you alright? You’re scaring me.”

What the hell was he supposed to say? He couldn’t just come right out and say “I’m sorry, but we’re not soulmates.” It seemed too cruel.

“And what happened? I swear it was Yuanfen, but I don’t remember a single thing.” There was concern in Momo’s voice and he couldn’t blame her. Afterall… she isn’t my… 

“Momo.” Jimin said sternly. “Let’s go outside, we have to talk.” 

This was it.

Somehow, the weather hadn’t changed but it was so much colder now.

As Jimin stepped out onto the sidewalk with Momo, he easily spotted you in the short distance even with your back turned to him. Jimin switched his attention to Taeyong who looked uneasy and heartbroken. He looked at Jimin with furrowed brows and sadness in his eyes before walking away. Your shoulders were slumped forward and instead of walking in the same direction as Taeyong, you went the opposite, walking past Momo and Jimin on the way,

“Y-Yn? What happ--” Momo tried to reach out for your hand, but Jimin grabbed her hand instead.

“Leave her.” He muttered.

“B-But, she looked like she was crying! Jimin, I have to go to her!”

Jimin squeezed Momo’s hand. He couldn’t look at her. The words couldn’t come out. Everything was crumbling at his feet.

“Jimin. Seriously. What is going on? You’re fucking scaring me.” Momo lashed out.

“We aren’t…” Jimin’s words were soft, almost inaudible.

“What?”

Jimin swallowed hard and looked Momo dead in the eyes. “You’re not my soulmate, Momo.”

A pained force laugh was pushed past between her lips as she took a step back. “Wha-What are you talking about, Jimin? What the fuck do you mean?!”

Silence. All he could offer her was silence.

“There has to be a mistake.” She was frantic. “M-Maybe there’s something about losing your memory after Yuanfen or soulmates getting mixed up or s-something.”

Jimin parted his lips to say something, anything, but nothing came out.

There were tears threatening to spill from Momo’s eyes as she approached him with caution. She clutched his face, her fingers so cold against his skin.

There was no warmth anymore.

“We’re high school sweethearts, Jimin. How can I not be your soulmate…?” Her voice shook as well as her hands.

“Momo, I’m sorry.” Jimin choked out. “I wish there was a mistake—I looked for loopholes, stories of people having the wrong soulmate, but…”

Slowly, Momo separated herself from Jimin’s body.

“Then who… who is your soulmate if it’s not me?” She managed to ask through her tears.

This is what Jimin dreaded—admitting that you were his soulmate to Momo.

“It’s…” Jimin breathed. “My soulmate is… y/n.”

The sound of your name made Momo lift her hand up to her mouth and all Jimin could do was endure the horror that settled in her eyes. He couldn’t reach out to hug her. He didn’t feel worthy of that.

“Y/n…?” She whimpered. “My best friend is my boyfriend’s soulmate? Is that why she was—” A loud sob interrupted her sentence. 

He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to hurt her and he was damn sure you didn’t want any of this either.

Yuanfen was supposed to be magical. It was supposed to be a celebration of eternal love. 

But it was all shit. 

There was nothing magical about hurting Momo, seeing her cry knowing that he had no control over any of this.

Jimin had wondered if there was any way he and Mono could work through any of this and just by the look on her face, he knew the answer.

“Momo, I—”

“You spent Yuanfen with her and what? Did you two do anything?!” She spat. 

He was at a loss for words. “We didn’t want this, okay?! She was in a happy and loving relationship with Taeyong and us too. This isn’t easy and I swear to you, Momo, I wish I could change this in a heartbeat but I can’t. I can’t do anything about this. I love you. How am I supposed to do this?” 

Momo was wavering. She took a few more steps back and shook her head.

“How, you ask… well, Jimin,” She began. “Let me make it easier for you.”

Just like that, with tear filled eyes, Momo spun on her heel and walked away with Jimin’s heart broken on the pavement.

It was cold, so cold. He couldn’t feel his hands, his face—tears? Jimin touched his cheeks with his nimble fingers and felt the damp streaks on his face.

The hard part was over, right? Having to face Momo and tell her the truth, that was the hard part and now it was done. But he was still suffocating.

Jimin lost her. He lost his girlfriend. Sure he may have found his soulmate, but what good is it if his soulmate wasn’t his girlfriend? He spent years loving Momo and just like that, it was all done. There was nothing left.

“Jimin.”

He looked up from his feet to find you standing before him, hair disheveled and cheeks still stained with tears. You staggered forward but he was still close enough to catch you. 

“I expected this.” You said quietly. “It was all expected, but why…”

Immediately, Jimin snaked his arms around your waist to embrace you. He felt and understood your pain. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” He breathed near your ear.

“Yeah.” You sniffled and hugged him tighter. “I’m sorry, too.”

Jimin sighed and rubbed your lower back. He didn’t know what he wanted. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave you be for now or take your hand to his dorm to talk about things. It was all too much to take in.

Jimin had just spent an entire day with you, took a nap with you in the same bed, he even kissed you for God’s sake. Losing Momo now was for the best. It would’ve been too painful to force himself out of love and push her away in the future. It was like ripping off a bandaid, quick and—well, painful. 

“What are we supposed to do now?” You questioned.

What were we supposed to do? 

Everything was still fresh. He was sure that Taeyong and Momo both had a lot of questions to ask, but maybe now wasn’t a good time. He really didn’t know what to do.

Out of instinct, he reached to cup your face and placed a light kiss in between your eyebrows. Your eyes fluttered closed and it wasn’t the best time to be thinking about it, but Jimin had the sudden urge to kiss you properly on the lips.

Again, Jimin acted on instinct.

He traced your cheek with his finger and curled it to lift your chin to make eye contact with you. Your eyes were red with a dust of sadness. You weren’t pulling away and you were still hugging him. He had a feeling you knew what was going to happen next, so he didn’t hesitate.

Using his thumb, Jimin gently pulled beneath your bottom lip to part them about a centimeter’s distance. He watched you close your eyes once more and kissed you sweetly.

Jimin tasted the saltiness from your tears, your pain, your heart break. Mixed in with the cocktail of emotions was the slightest taste of happiness.

He slowly broke the kiss, already missing the intimate contact and once again, tugged you at your nape to bring your face to his chest. He stroked your hair and sighed.

“I don’t know what to do.” Jimin said. “I guess let’s just...go?” He reeled himself back and took your hand, leading you down the path.

Heartbroken as he was for his soulmate not being Momo, he was still happy it was someone he knew and that someone was you. The beholders of fate and love had decided that you were his soulmate.

Yuanfen was a binding force that linked two persons together in any relationship and in this case, it was a romantic one and that force bound you to him.

He had wished that maybe it was you who he had dated in high school. He wished that you were the one he introduced to his parents and brother. He wished he knew what your body liked and what made your toes curl in bliss. He thought it would’ve made this entire thing easier.

But that was the thing, love wasn’t easy. Love was an adventure filled with ups and downs, heartache and celebration. It wasn’t a one time thing, it was something to experience at many different times in one’s life. 

Jimin was now this adventure with you and he was going to learn how to love you. He was going to experience every side of you and love each one completely. At least now he knew this was going to be a forever thing and it was all thanks to the thing that pained him in the first place.

Yuanfen.

-

-

-

♡ rae jagi

[alitheamateur]

The Grind-Chapter 2

See what you’ve missed here …

We had been meeting at The Grind on Tuesday’s, Wednesday’s, & Saturday’s for the last two weeks. We discussed last names, home towns, the obvious sports, and the strange hatred we shared for cherry licorice. I took notes on the path that led him to becoming a fighter, & he filled me in on his basic training habits for a fight of this magnitude. He had been on the wrestling team throughout high school, & could’ve hand picked from the patch any college he wanted to attend, and a scholarship would’ve been offered on a silver platter. For a moment, I let myself envision Colton sporting a varsity letterman jacket marking the halls as captain of the wrestling team. The mental illustration may have produced an overdose of lust, which caused me to shift lustfully in my seat. He chose a rowdier way instead, consisting of drugs & some extra-curricular gambling debt, leaving him in need of some quick pocket cash before he quote, ‘got ran down by some greasy-haired bookie’. Enter, the dabbling inside the octagon. 

The first two matches he had managed to pin down had been easy defeats to his pleasant surprise, & a blue fired flame had been lit in his core. The adrenaline. The passion. The sheer ruthlessness was something he said he became dangerously addicted to. The rush of feeling alive, yet toying with combative death, replaced his desires of betting. As he climbed the latter of men’s’ competitive cage-fighting, his mom had fallen ill in the meantime. Leading him eagerly back home to her side, and promising to lay down his habitual drug use, and shady gambling. But the fighting, no. He explained how it had become his only way a life, and an outlet amid all the worrisome stress of his mother’s illness. And his speculations of my Pilot family beaming with excitement once I dropped the story onto their desks, had been correct. Ryan, my boss, had guaranteed me a full front-page for my “excellent snag.”

 This particular Saturday morning strayed away from the typical routine the two of us had settled into. Colton suggested I join him for his morning run through the city, and he’d show me around to some of the crevices of Pittsburgh I hadn’t seen. If I’m truthful, nothing about trouncing through the freezing streets of downtown Pittsburgh, in the dead of winter, at 4 a.m. appealed to my senses. However, the added minutes of Colton to my day, were ones I would gladly grasp on to. He offered to meet at my place, because it was “a real bad idea for a girl like me to be wondering alone in the streets at the break of daylight.”

Finishing my second layer of apparel, I took one last survey in the mirror dragging on the thermal elastic headpiece. My dirty blonde waves were tied in a tight ponytail, and I nixed the makeup, concluding this morning would involve ample sweating. I checked my watch spitting out the last remnants of toothpaste, assuring I wouldn’t have my running partner waiting. At that very second, I heard a heavy knock on my door. Spewing a nervous exhale, I made my way to the front of the apartment, loosening my tensed shoulders, and rolling my neck along the way. This was a simple run, not a date. He would probably have headphones stuffed in his ears the entire time, forgetting I was even tagging along at his side. So, why was my stomach twisting dopy somersaults?

I swung the dark green barrier open, and his freshly awoken, soft eyes trailed up my form. “Good-morning sunshine.” He checked his watch, “And I see you’re right on schedule.”

I slung the thick mane off my shoulder as a “take that” to his cheeky tone of surprise at my ability to flop out of bed this time of day. I squeezed the handle closing the door behind me assuring I had locked it, and we made our way down the silent stairs from my upper level abode.

“How far are we going again?” I kicked myself for only now deciding to request that particular information.  

“I tracked a course that’ll bring us right back to your place. It’s just 4 miles. You think ya’ can handle it, hot shot?” He smiled teasingly & began jogging backwards out of sight without any warning. What had I gotten myself into?

 Just as he’d promised, we completed his perfectly mapped out 4-mile route, ending at the very steps of my apartment complex. There wasn’t much talking along the way, but he’d shoot me a wink shaking his head, impressed that I was able to keep up. We decided to skip out on The Grind, & instead I extended an invite for coffee at my place.

“Make yourself at home, I’ll get the pot started.”

As I was pulling mugs & filling the Mr. Coffee, I watched him intently from afar. He began wandering around my living room looking at every picture I had framed on display. Senior prom with all the girls from the team, my best friend Sara & I on our unplanned trip to Mexico before I left home. He seemed genuinely interested in seeing more of me and his eyes smiled, meticulously observing a deeper look at my life in the snapshots. Who I really was, and where I came from. I could feel a warm snicker sneak onto my lips at the realization.

While the liquid brewed in the kitchen, I found my way back to the living room to join my guest. I dead-weighted myself onto the leather couch with a dramatic, exhausted sigh.

“And here I thought you were in shape after stayin’ on my ass this morning.” He laughed, making his way to the open seat next to me. I extended a light kick in his direction for the insult.

“Next time, my rules. Let’s see how the big bad cage fighter takes on 100 suicide sprints, huh?” Suicides were Coach Gibson’s chosen form of torture, and boy, did he torture us. I considered myself a master of the trade by sophomore year.

“Do you ever miss it? Basketball, I mean?” He propped his sculpted arm on the back of the couch and turned to face me, and his eyes held such sincere interest.

“Every day. It was my way of life. I think, maybe my injury was life’s way of telling me it was time to expand. Grow up, ya’ know? Time to make another name for myself.”

“You have no idea much I get that, Liv. Honestly. But, it looks like you done pretty well for yourself on ya’ own two feet out here.”

That was enough about me, and the basketball topic for today. Ball would lead to my parents, my parents would unveil the family drama, and it wasn’t the right time for such. I needed to shift his attention to something lighter, and quick. But the shift it took, was not one I expected.

“I still can’t seem to get warm! My whole face is numb,” I shuddered.

He reached his masculine hands over playfully to smoosh my cheeks in an attempt to warm my frozen skin, my lips forming into that of a duck face. I reached for his wrists, giving a weak effort to pry his scorching hands from my face with a chuckle. My doe eyes locked with his, and I watched them turn from lighthearted and tender, to darkly mischievous. Our bodies tensed in unison, and he lightened the grip he had on my now very flushed skin, but didn’t release. His dark shadow slowly carried itself into my personal space, and I knew what was coming next. I didn’t dare rush the intensity of this moment, nor do anything to stop the inevitable. The misty bluish orbs on his face danced from my eyes, to my lips. Eyes, to lips. Eyes, to lips. His left hand eased back a fly away strand of hair that was sticking to the apple balm on my mouth, then he coated his own lips before they finally reached their desired destination.

They were every bit as perfect, and downy as I knew they’d be. Instantly, my first reaction was to melt to doughy-like putty when his large arms slowly began to cloak my small form. I was nearly high from the sheer bliss, and my entire body appeared to lose feeling. Yet, it seemed feel everything in the air at the very same time. Limbs immobilized, along with my mouth, which was doing little to sustain its role in what was transpiring between us. I pinched my thigh between two fingers to awaken myself, & suddenly my body caught up with my mind. I reached my arm up to caress the back of his thick neck as he began to deepen the kiss, grazing my fingers through the baby hairs that laid sweat slicked there.

We just jogged 4 miles, how does he smell so good?

I could vaguely taste drops of salty sweat leftover from our morning adventure. His hands wandered over my hips to the small of my back, squeezing almost as if he didn’t realize his own strength. A glossy tongue tickled my lips gently requesting entrance. All too eagerly I obliged & opened my mouth to welcome him in with lazy a mewl of need. Our tongues danced to an unfamiliar rhythm in efforts to learn how the other moved. I could feel the build between my thighs becoming irrefutable, causing the stickler in me to pull away abruptly. I accepted this night would likely end with a forbidden visit from my battery-operated friend stored in my bedside table.

“Woah, Ritter. Let’s take a breather, yeah? Didn’t see that coming.”

His face still dangerous, minimal inches from mine he spoke. “Honest? I been plannin’ that one since the second I laid eyes on ya’, kid.” He winked & bit his pillowy bottom lip, nearly sending me choked over the edge of heated exile.

I dipped my head feeling the flush rise up my neck. Colton Ritter was pushing all the right buttons & he knew it. “How about that coffee now? Although, I’d say it’s plenty warm in here at this point...” I grinned.

I escorted him to the kitchen, seemingly walking with the legs of a clumsy fawn, and served him a dark cup of caffeine. He asked about some of the pictures he’d noticed throughout the house, & I told a few old basketball tales from my “glory days.”

“What would you say to gettin’ together again sometime, Liv? Someplace other than The Grind, & no damn sweats allowed. For either of us.”

I patiently held off on answering, giving my best effort to play it off calmly. “I think I could manage that just fine. I might even enjoy it, too.”

TAGS: @torialeysha @eap1935

[lostinthe-pines-blog]

Senior Fear Ch. 4 - Heading Home

TAGS: (I’ve tagged anyone who followed my last multi-chapter Chris fic. Please let me know if you’d like to be removed.) @jared2612  @katurrade @annekebbphotography @emerald-bijou @jellybean-marshmellow

Kicking off my first day of @chrispowellappreciation by sharing my next chapter of Senior Fear. I’m so excited to share more with you all this week! Follow along with @maxattack-powell and @regrettingnathan and I during Chris Powell Appreciation Week! I can’t wait to see what you all submit! 

This is a multi-chapter story about Autumn with the Hartfeld Gang. Halloween quickly approaching they attempt to celebrate. As they begin their senior year the dynamics will change like the weather, will they be able to face their fears, both commercial and literal?

NOTE: This is a fictional story based on Pixelberry’s Choices App. *Books The Freshman, The Sophomore, The Junior. I am not affiliated with Pixelberry nor do I own the rights to their original characters or story-lines. This story will alter certain story-lines.

Three thick sweaters and he could still feel the cold chill of the autumn air, the brightest color of leaves had already left the trees, only the dying brown leaves remaining, and they were  hanging on by a thread. The dying plants paired with the chill in the air matched the exact feeling Chris had inside. The only reason he’d wanted to stay at Harteld over the weekend was because he dreaded this exact moment. He felt like everything was moving in slow motion watching MC load up the car with far more items then they had arrived with; a product of his mother wanting to send them all the supplies they might need.

MC made trip after trip in and out of the house, everytime she went back in Lily had something else to hand off to her. She wasn’t sure if Chris wanted or needed anything he wasn’t really here right now. She could see him and he was here physically but mentally he was zoned in on something else. This wasn’t the first tome MC had seen him this way. He’d focus his mind similarly before a big game, or an important final. After she loaded the final bag into the car she stepped beside him lacing her fingers through his own. She felt the gentle twitch as the touch knocked him out of his mindset.

“Hey.” Chris spoke with a breath turning his fixed gaze on hers.

MC offered him the smallest smile, she could feel how badly he wanted to stay. “Hey” she was searching his eyes to find him something to look forward to. “Are you ready?” she asked knowing he wasn’t. “We’ve gotta get back, we’ve got midterms to study for and a party to plan!” she added a cheery tone hoping it would help. “I’m going to go say goodbye to your mom, maybe you want to start thinking about talking to AJ?”

Chris nods releasing his hand from hers and turning on his feet back inside the house. His body language almost angry, but she knew he was only disappointed. Chris headed into the makeshift bedroom that his mother had created in the office on the main floor until AJ could walk up the stairs to her own again. “Hey, AJ.” he said staying strong behind his weak emotions. “MC and I are heading out soon.”

“Do you have too?” she didn’t look at him when she talked, she knew she’d cry. She was young but she understood her emotions and she didn’t want to be ashamed of them now.

“Yeah bug, I’ve got too.” he said kneeling down in front of her, “But you’ve got mom, and Kyle.” he added with a smile “And you get to miss a whole week of school!” he added trying to twist this into a positive. “MC and I we’ll be back for Thanksgiving, that's only two months away.” Chris continued to have a basic and saddening conversation with his young best friend before pulling her into a gentle hug

MC paced around the kitchen as Lily sat with her signature coffee cup staring at the young girl who was mostly family now.

“Worried about something?” Lily asks out of her calm demeanor.

“I mean… yeah.” MC laughed with nerves in her voice. Watching Lily pat the seat next to her MC quickly followed suit and sat beside her.

“Speak.” Lily instructed with a heart warming smile.

MC was almost compelled by the mother figure in the room, she told her everything now. “I’m worried about Chris, AJ means so much to him and we both know he lets sadness stay with him for too long.” she started while Lily was quick to respond

“The nice thing about my son is that while sadness is always with in him, his happiness is often much stronger. Give him something to look to and he’ll come around.”

MC nods knowing Lily is right, but that alone wasn’t what  was worrying her. “After college, what’d you do?” MC asks now

Lily looks to her lap now, “I dropped out of college, I followed Frank after his graduation and I moved here. I became a mother, and I’ve been working odd jobs to make ends meet ever since. Why do you ask MC?” she questions now.

“I don’t know what I want to do, where I want to go, but I know…” she holds her tongue nervous about speaking of her and Chris’s future to his mother,

“You know what?” Lily asks in the silence.

“Oh… I know.. I want Chris to be apart of whatever comes next. But I think that scares me. You see all my life I’ve been set up to go to college to learn, to build a career but I’ve never been set up to fall in love.” she admits blush forming on her face.

Lily smiles at the thought of it, “It comes out of nowhere doesn’t it?” Lily laughs. “A piece of motherly advice?” she asks the young daughter like girl before here.

“Sure!” MC smiles easgerly.

“It might be a bit bias here but you’re not the only one worried about the role love will have in you next year, when Chris and I spoke he was scared too...” she smirks admitting to having a similar conversation with her son the night before “But, this is the best kind of fear, because it’s mixed with the strongest of passions. Trust in your love, and yourselves. Be honest and trust him.” Lily takes MC hand gently. “We would be the lucky ones to have a girl like your join our family.” she adds watching MC’s face flush pink.

“Trust.” she repeats, she does trust Chris already but she knows trust will contiue to be a huge part of her life this year. She’d learned the hard way her junior year what dishonesty could do and she didn’t plan on making that mistake. It could have lost her Chris but he was better than her and he followed her threw her dumbest mistakes. “Thank Lily, and thanks for letting us come down for the weekend. He misses you guys.” MC lets her gaze fall on Chris whose now walking toward them.

“And we miss him” Lily answers quickly before reaching to hug her eldest son. “Drive safe, text me as soon as you get home” she demands.

“Of course” Chris answers staying in her embrace for a bit longer, he’d always been a family man and this moment would be no different.

As the two of them said their goodbyes MC offered again to drive, to let Chris sleep and rest for his week to come. The car ride was long but it allowed Chris to dream and to prepare for their months ahead. There wasn’t much conversation in the hours on the road. He leaned his head against the window and listened to MC’s quiet voice sing along to the mix of songs playing randomly from her phone. Life was so simple in this moment, but as the car parked back at Hartfeld reality would have to set back in. Arriving late in the evening on Monday night Chris trudged inside carrying his and MC’s bags while MC brought in the miscellaneous items Lily had sent them with. Upon entering the apartment they were both shocked as their tired eyes perked open.

“Oh my god…” MC smiled setting things down in the corner, she knew Abbie’s artistic handy work when she saw it. Their apartment opened to a livingroom that shared space with the kitchen, along the wall was a hand drawn tree complete with autumn leaves. The leaves blew in the drawn wind, which was really just swirls of color and pattern. Each leaf represented something. As MC stepped past Chris to get a closer look she reached her hands to him to bring him to her side. “Look… they’re memories.”

“Third day in the freshman dorm, Chris Powell ate my left overs. I was so angry I didn’t have a lunch to bring on my long day at class. But he ended up with food poisoning and with out him I would have been down for the count the entire first week of classes. I’m always gonna thank him for that.” -Abbie

“My favorite thing about MC is that she never wants people to be mean to one another, that she stops it the moment it starts happening. Even if it’s playful. As freshman I would mock Kaitlyn for never folding her clothes but MC was always quick to remind me that Kaitlyn’s choices were her own creative decision. I don’t know what I’d do with out her constant kindness.” - Tyler

“Chris and MC have always inspired me, they work through everything together and they know each others strengths and weaknesses as well as they know their own. They are so completely opposite from one another and yet they mold together so perfectly. I’m lucky to call myself their friend. Despite my jealousies in the past I wish them only the best and I miss them every day.” - James

“Look..” MC says pausing on the note from their former friend. “Even James has a leaf” she giggles. James had graduated almost two years ago, he’d stuck around to work at the school but after taking offers in Los Angeles he decided to move. They didn’t hear from him much anymore, but someone had made the effort to get this note from him. It meant a lot to her, and Chris too.

Chris looked around the room skipping over a few leaves with notes and memories attached. His eye caught by one that included a photo. It was of Zack and Chris on the Hartfeld Football feild. “Oh, I didn’t know he even had this photo.” Chris laughed calling MC to his side to read the note.

“The start of sophomore year, fresh off of my breakup, Chris found me out by the fields having a full on panic attack. I’d been so stressed about my love life during Freshman year I’d fallen behind, I still hadn’t really come to terms with the effects that coming out had on my relationship with my parents and I was already crushing on a new boy even though I knew I shouldn't. I was going absolutely crazy. He ditched all of his football friends to stay with me. He gave me advice I’ll live by for the rest of my life. He told me, to be unapologetic-ally me, to let life jerk me around if it hand to but to never change who am because of it. I came out of Sophomore year so much happier than before because I followed his advice. That night Chris and I talked for hours, and we’ve never talked that way really since. But I always know that, that version of Chris is there if I need him. I would never approve of anyone with MC except Chris, because Chris is the kindest and most passionate person I know. - Zack

“I didn’t even know about this…” MC said looking to her blue eyed lover. “Did this really happen?” she questioned knowing that Zack wouldn’t lie.

“Yeah, I was finishing up running a few plays with the guys when I saw him just outside the athletic buildings. I’m not sure what had him over there but I knew something was off. It was a Thursday night, Zack was usually by your side working on homework or watching a movie. He was a mess, just blubbering and talking endlessly. I think he just needed someone to listen you know…” Chris laughs off his embarrassment that this letter brought. He’d never liked being complimented. He didn’t think that kindness deserved compliment. That kindness should be expected from everyone and given to everyone.

MC laid her head on Chris’s shoulder reading again the letter her best friend had left for her boyfriend. “He’s right you know.” she speaks lacing her fingers through his. “You are the kindest and most passionate person.” she repeated the heart felt words on the paper cutout on the wall. “This room is a kindergarten arts and crafts project.” she laughs “But our friends did it for us because we mean something to them. You mean something to them. You give so much of yourself to us and we have all be lucky to be apart of your incredible life. Me most of all”

Chris looks down sheepishly trying to accept the compliment “MC, these memories arent just of me. They are for both of us, but there are some just for you. I try to put my best foot forward I try to be there when I’m needed but it doesn’t always work that way. You see, you’re the opposite you don’t try.. You do. You are always there always listening and always helping. You think it’s going unnoticed but it’s not. Take all of last year for instance. You jeopardized so much of yourself for all of us, to protect all of us.” Chris leaned down and kissed the top of her head following the art on the walls with his eyes. It didn’t stop in the living room it went down the hall in to their bedroom door.

MC pulled Chris by the arm walking down the hallways and opening their room. There was nothing out of place, the room looked spotless. Different then the way MC had left it. In the process of her packing MC had left clothes and homework everywhere. Looking at the room now, he friends had cleaned. It was all still there, but it was just piled nicely. On the bedside table there was a mix of Chris and MC’s favorite flowers with an envelope attached. Chris sat on the bed and pulled MC to his lap as she opened and read the letter.

“Dear Chistopher and MC Powell…” Mc stopped rolling her eyes and feeling Chris’s laughter in his chest. This letter was immediately recognized to be written by Zack. The friend who’d been pushing MC and Chris to marry since the end of freshman year. Ignoring the new change in her own last name she continued reading.

“No ones Senior year should start out as rocky as yours has. We decided to get together to celebrate you both. First we want to let you know that the Halloween Party has officially been taken off your hands. Kaitlyn’s been secretly planning it the whole time anyways. Secondly, we wanted you guys to know just how much you mean to us. Abbie created a mural of the fall season and we included all the memories. Fall will always remind me of Hartfeld and the memories we’ve made and will continue to make. There’s no need to thank us because we’ve done this in thanks to you both. We left you some flowers, because we know how much you both love them (yes Chris you too) MC you are lovelier than a rose, and Chris you are brighter than a daisy. Out little family would be nowhere without you both. This fall is for you guys, because you have both made the last three years for us.”

MC place the letter back on the bedside table. It was a short and sweet but it was enough. This was more than the welcome home she thought they deserved. She didn’t fear the end of the year anymore. She knew everyone would go their separate ways but they would all come back together through out the years. They had to. They were a family. 

“Hey...” she spoke softly turning in Chris’s arms to look at his face, remembering the pain it had held over the weekend. “Welcome home.” she smiled 

“Welcome home.” he responded softly feeling happy there next to her in the small space they had created together. 

[ambitionsource]

AMBITION Season 1 ♫ “The Phantom of AAA” [ 1.02 ]

CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (quincywillows)

LIFE’S NO FUN WITHOUT A GOOD SCARE – October brings terror as the techies are forced to skip an important event for the performers. Isadora works on a short film, documenting the supposed ghost haunting AAA. Riley has issues adjusting to the intensity of the school.

44 Minutes (7K words) || No warnings apply.

[ ← First Impressions (Pilot) ] [ S1 Synopsis ] [ Under Pressure → ]

( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )

INT. RILEY’S BEDROOM - DAY

Another alarm kicks off the episode, being turned off as abruptly as it was in the pilot. RILEY MATTHEWS lays in bed, only her expression is less nervous this time and more determined. Ambitious, if you will. Without hesitation, she throws the covers and leaps out of bed.

As Riley gets ready, dancing and humming around her room, she takes a moment to stop in front of a brand new item hanging on her wall. It’s a dream / moodboard, already decorated with a couple of playbills, ticket stubs, and inspirations (Sara Bareilles, Laura Osnes, etc.) But there’s plenty of room to fill up with new memories.

The dream is out there in front of her. All she has to do is grab it. Shouldering her bag, she gives it a grin before stepping out into the hall.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - DAY

When Riley emerges, she finds CORY MATTHEWS sitting at the table having breakfast. Her mother is nowhere to be found, but SHAWN HUNTER is scarfing down a plate of eggs and bacon in her place. The two of them are discussing Topanga’s absence, but immediately swap topics when Riley joins the conversation.

The two of them question Riley on how she is feeling about school now. Just as she finishes fixing herself a plate and sits down to eat, Shawn receives an email notification on his phone that grabs his attention. He unlocks his phone, evidently taking great effort to read the full email.

An “oh, fuck,” is all he shares before jumping to his feet. Cory and Riley don’t even get the chance to ask what happened, Shawn out the door and heading to school. Riley gives her father a look, trying to suss out what may have just gone down.

Cory: Well, guess I’m calling in sick today.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

It doesn’t take long for us to get answers. ERIC MATTHEWS is pacing in front of an exasperated JACK HUNTER, evidently up in arms about whatever it was that got Shawn so frazzled moments earlier. He wonders if Jack realizes what exactly he’s done, if he realizes he’s made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Jack goes onto to explain what exact calamity might have just occurred – there is an annual student technician conference that happens one specific weekend in October, open to sophomores and up only. It’s one of those beautiful bonding moments that binds a class together, and each class of technicians looks forward to their chance to experience it for the first time. It is a heralded techie tradition, and seem as somewhat of a right of passage.

Only one problem: this year, the event was double-booked with an important recruitment performance at the local middle schools, most notably John Quincy Adams middle school. Considering they need at least a crew of technicians with experience to help run the event, Jack had to make the executive decision to hold one class back to run it. Considering the sophomores are the group with the least credit, it only makes sense to require their attendance and mandate that they skip the conference.

Eric can smell the trouble this will cause from a mile away. He leans forward onto the desk, obviously all business.

Eric: A lot of feelings are going to be hurt if you make this decision. You do realize this, correct?

Jack: Believe it or not, Matthews, this job is not all rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes, you have to make a tough call.

Eric: I’m just saying, don’t say I didn’t warn you. This school is going to be hell this week because of it.

Jack: You say that as if this school isn’t hell every week.

Ooh, sick (semi-self) burn. Off of Eric’s evident frustration as he storms out of the office –

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

That chaos is already beginning to brew, LUCAS FRIAR and ISADORA DE LA CRUZ marching after Shawn down the hallway. They’ve heard the news, and they’re none too happy about it. They’ve been waiting for this conference for a year now. Isadora was planning to submit to the student film festival they do, and had been storyboarding for weeks. What gives?

Lucas: They can’t just do this.

Isadora: This is a right of passage for us. We have put up with all this crap for a year, we’re constantly doing things for the performers –

Lucas: Let alone with any thanks –

Isadora: How can we just not be going?

Lucas: This is bullshit!

Shawn: [ breaking, snapping ] Look, you think I don’t know that?

Shawn breaks his composure, whipping around to face them both. They stop talking to let him speak, but it’s clear from their expressions that they’re not going to stop being angry any time soon. Well, they’re always pissed, but especially now. Shawn tries to reel it back in, not wanting to take out his frustration on them.

Shawn: I’m trying my best. But you know how things are around here. You know which side of the school gets the favor.

Lucas, insistent: What about Dora’s film?

Shawn: [ looking at Isadora, sympathetic ] We can still send it.

But it’s not the same. They all know it’s not the same as being there. Lucas and Isadora exchange a look, evidently pissed, as the opening tones of “Thriller / Heads Will Roll” kick up…

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Thriller / Heads Will Roll” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by AAA Sophomores

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The sophomore performers are practicing the basics of their recruitment number, a mash-up of “Thriller / Heads Will Roll” as Glee so eloquently threw together back in the day. The performance will be performed at middle schools across the district as a recruitment tool at the end of that week, so they’re hard at work to make it lively, energetic, and naturally, perfect.

The techies, on the other hand, do not share such a dedication. In fact, given the current circumstances, they’re mostly pissed as hell and don’t feel like doing much of anything correctly or helpfully. So while the number progresses normally through the first half or so, by the time we get into the middle it’s clear that the techies are beginning to disrupt the rehearsal process.

This charge is accented by Lucas completely disrupting the number, jumping in with the spoken part of the mash-up (“Darkness falls across the land / the midnight hour is close at hand…”). As he does so, the techies launch into full-on chaos, doing “important technical things” like moving set pieces, pretending to be accomplishing a very important task, but it really just means running in between the performer’s blocking, messing up choreography, knocking them over with stuff, etc.

MAYA HART desperately tries to get the number back on track (“Off with your head! Off with your head!”), but it’s no use. The techies aren’t done until they decide they are, all of them jumping off the front of the stage and scattering into the audience. The performers attempt to finish the performance, but they’re all turned around and frazzled so it’s a mess of a conclusion.

And now they’re pissed, too. FARKLE MINKUS most of all.

Farkle: I WANT THEM ALL EXPELLED!

Cue title sequence.

Riley is somewhat grateful for the disruption, as it makes her own exhaustion and confusion come off as less out of the ordinary. Maya is pointedly trying to get everybody back on track, because apparently there are higher stakes to this recruitment business than Riley realized.

Maya: Could we please get this back on track? Mr. Jacobs is going to be there Friday night and I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of him.

Farkle: [ with a choked gasp ] WHAT?

Riley: I’m sorry, I’m – who?

Zay: Mr. Jacobs. He’s a big wig on the admissions panel for Julliard. It’s never a bad idea to get on his good side and curry some favor as early as possible.

Maya: His daughters attend JQA, and there’s no way in hell I’m throwing away my shot to impress him. [ To the techies. ] So kindly, if all of you could stop ruining everything? Much appreciated. Muah.

Riley still doesn’t really get what the big deal is, but the rest of the coalition is clearly stressed so she decides she may as well be, too. She wanders off as the rest of the performers call for a break, trying to grapple with this news.

INT. AAA - FILM STUDIES CLASS - DAY

A darkened classroom, a film showing on the screen. It’s something older and spooky; Frankenstein or Dracula, maybe. DYLAN ORLANDO is conked out at his desk, drooling a little bit onto his notebook near the back of the classroom. NICK YOGI and DAVE WILLIAMS mess with him without waking him up, sticking markers together and trying to poke his ear.

Isadora is seated behind them, ignoring their antics but not paying attention to the film either. She’s dejectedly flipping through a journal, where she’s been taking notes and jotting down ideas for a film for well over a year. And now it’s a bust.

She flips to one of the earlier pages, where notes about a potential mockumentary surrounding Adams are scribbled. She sighs, glancing back up at the screen just as something monumental or scary happens. The lead actress screams bloody murder, and suddenly Isa’s eye light up with an idea. Slowly, a smile creeps onto her face.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Lucas is immediately accosted by Isa the moment he crosses paths with her, the latter shoving him out of the way and into a corner of the school. When he questions what the hell is going on, noticing the wild look in Isadora’s eyes, she barely gives him a second to catch up before declaring that she knows exactly what her film is going to be – and they’re getting their revenge.

She should’ve led with “revenge.” Lucas gestures for her to lead the way, the two of them jogging off to gather the rest of the techies.

INT. AAA - JACK’S OFFICE - DAY

Angela has dragged Shawn into Jack’s office to complain, fed up with the behavior of the techies and citing this instance with the recruitment rehearsal as the last straw. She remarks that the stunts they pulled were unacceptable, and demands that action be taken against them. Shawn fires back with the fact that they already had to give up something to appease her students, so he doesn’t see how they’re not already being punished. Jack attempts to mediate, but it’s evident that the bad blood between Shawn and Angela is far deeper than the party lines between their halves of the school.

Shawn: Forgive my kids for wanting their one well-deserved break from listening to you all screech every day of the week.

Angela: Your students don’t even do the assignments. They don’t perform –

Shawn: BECAUSE THAT’S NOT WHAT THEY’RE HERE TO DO!

Jack: [ rubbing his temples ] This is my living nightmare.

Jack takes Shawn’s side in this instance, pointing out that no one was harmed in the messing of the rehearsal and that the situation is not ideal for either party. Angela attempts to plead for favor in the sense that if their performance doesn’t go well, it reflects poorly on all of them. But Jack has had enough, because believe it or not there are other things he has to attend to rather than their constant beef. He dismisses them both.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Shawn and Angela continue their tirade in the hallway, griping at one another and taking a couple more personal shots. We quickly learn that this grudge between them goes back many years, back to their own college days. Yes, Shawn & Angela were once an item, and a serious one at that. But when Angela wanted to pursue her artistic dreams and jet-set off to New York they broke up, and a heartbroken Shawn sort of lost direction and went down a couple of wrong paths. Shawn is stuck in this job on the good will of his half-brother to get a fresh start, and Angela somehow ended up stuck in the same place rather than being the superstar she always swore she would be.

It’s clear that there is lingering bitterness between them because of all of that, but also… maybe, lingering feelings? It’s hard to decide when the line between love and hate is so thin. Angela makes one off-hand, dismissive comment about the way Shawn runs his crew before storming off, leaving him embittered.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The techies are taking advantage of the quiet in the auditorium, assembled on the stage. Isadora has the rolling whiteboard and they are jotting down ideas, she and Lucas leading the groupthink and brainstorming ideas. As Isadora explains it, they are going to make her mockumentary about the ghost of Adams.

Dylan: THERE’S A GHOST?

Isadora: No, it’s a mock – could I finish?

There is no ghost, but they’re going to convince the performers that there is – by scaring the ever living shit out of them. And how? By using the technical prowess they’ve crafted over the years that the performers never even notice or appreciate in the first place. But to do that, they need ideas. Hence, the brainstorming session.

Dave raises his hand eagerly, waiting to be called on even though no one else is jumping up to speak. Lucas exchanges a look with Isadora, before pointing and granting him the right speak.

Lucas: What say you, Dave?

Dave: Okay. Okay. [ catching his breath ] Okay. So, here’s an idea. We get a pair of crocodiles –

[ Isadora pinches the bridge of her nose. Lucas’s eyebrows raise, but he doesn’t look opposed to the suggestion. ]

Dave: I know what you’re thinking, but I know a guy. So we get the crocs –

Shawn interrupts the brainstorm, immediately able to tell that something is up. He questions them as he approaches, all of them muttering something incoherent and discordant. Lucas casually steps in front of the whiteboard, shrugging and scratching the back of his neck.

When Shawn turns to Isadora, it’s hard to lie to her favorite teacher. She confesses, explaining their full plan. She prefaces that she knows it’s not necessarily couth, but she’s so sick of getting overwritten by them and all she wanted was to make this film… but Shawn disrupts her nervous ranting by claiming that he understands. No, Shawn doesn’t want to shut down the operation; he supports it full force. Fired up from his dispute with Angela, Shawn is more than ready to help them shake things up – and after all, every student project needs a faculty sponsor.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “This Is Halloween” as performed by The Nightmare Before Christmas Original Cast || Performed by Shawn Hunter & AAA Sophomore Techies

[ Lyrics specific to characters – follow along here! ]

As the song begins we see the techies starting to suggest more ideas with Isadora writing them on the board. As the lyrics begin, we see each person singing working on whatever piece of the pranks they are putting together. What exactly they’re setting up, we’re not sure, but there’s lots of spooktacular elements and fake blood involved…

When we come back to the last verse, the techies have assembled back on the stage. They’re putting together what operates like a staircase with apple boxes and other set pieces, and Jade is decorating Isadora in some items from the costume loft that make her seem more regal.

As we get to the entrance of “Jack” (“Our girl Smack is queen of the pumpkin patch”), Isadora descends from the top of the made up staircase and Lucas runs up to help her down the steps, essentially marching in as the brand new ruler of the auditorium. Then they continue to goof around and congregate together, before descending into ominous laughter. Oh, spooky…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The next day. The performers are hard at work rehearsing dance moves again, ZAY BABINEAUX leading the lesson. Riley is doing her best to keep up, but it’s obvious she’s just rustier than everyone else. She bumps into SARAH CARLSON, earning a glare from her.

The rehearsal is somewhat thrown off by the presence of Isadora, who is now filming everything with her camera. She’s weaving throughout the performance, getting things on footage, collecting “B-roll” for her documentary. She is concentrated and hard at work, but the performers have no idea what she’s actually supposed to be filming.

Farkle is the first to vocally object, complaining that she shouldn’t be filming them when they’re not at their most polished. It’s not going to help their performance. Isadora snaps at him not to flatter himself, and explains that the film isn’t about them but the ghost of Adams. She’s attempting to create a documentary about the ghoul and how it continues to haunt campus to this day. When all the performers are like A GHOST??? Isadora is like, oh, you hadn’t heard?

Still, not everybody is convinced.

Farkle: There is no such thing as ghosts. [ Launches into big, long, scientific explanation. ]

As Farkle is ranting, Lucas saunters up behind him and spooks him. He yelps and nearly knocks his teeth out, Lucas ducking out of the way just in time and laughing. It’s not an encouraging laugh. If they thought the ghost was scary…

CHARLIE GARDNER, on the other hand, has a different approach.

Charlie: Farkle is loud, but right. If ghosts were real, my devout Catholic grandmother would still be tucking in my shirts and telling me I’m going to hell for missing mass on Sundays for rehearsals.

Dylan: I’m going to hell too, but that’s not why.

Asher & Dave: [ Laughing and high-fiving behind Dylan. ]

Isadora continues to film as the students divulge in the discourse, more invested and less aloof than they would want you to believe.

Maya: Don’t Christians believe in demons, though?

Charlie: They’re not really the same thing, but –

Yindra: My grandparents used to talk about ghosts all the time and how we had to pray them away.

Maya: See! Ghosts are totally a Christian thing.

Farkle: Ghosts. Aren’t. Anything! They don’t exist!

Yogi: Tell that to the elderly man who lives in my apartment and moves our furniture around when we’re not there.

Charlie: [ concerned ] Are you… are you sure that’s not just some homeless squatter?

Angela brings an end to the chaos, frantically trying to get their rehearsal back on track.

Angela: OKAY, THAT IS ENOUGH. WE HAVE THREE DAYS, PEOPLE.

Shawn: Unless the ghost gets you first.

Angela: Do not encourage this!

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Riley opts to have lunch with Eric, the two of them chatting about how she’s adjusting. She does admit that she’s surprised by how intense it is, but she skates over how hard it is to keep up and feeling chronically behind. Instead, she gets Eric to talk about the whole techie conference debacle and why there seems to be such a vitriolic divide between the two sides of the school.

Eric attributes some of it to Shawn and Angela and their history, discussing how that certainly encourages and reinforces the negativity. But some of it, he concedes, is simply circumstance. Everyone is coming from their own experience and perspective, and often forget to remember that others may not share that point of view. Naturally, this is going to create clashes…

INT. FOSTER HOME - ISADORA’S ROOM - DAY

As if to speak right to this, Isadora is certainly coming from different circumstances than her peers. We quickly get the sense that she is in a foster home situation, she and Lucas crammed into the room she shares with another girl and attempting to get work done on their schematics for the techie scheme. Other children shrieking and chattering can be heard on the other side of the door, evidently irritating Isadora even though the door is closed.

Disrupting their focus, CATHERINA GONZALEZ (15), Isadora’s roommate, enters. She is cheerful, full of enthusiasm and thirst for life – a sharp contrast from Isa and her grumpy best friend. She rambles on to Isadora about her day and her plans for the rest of the evening, while Isa hums occasionally and mostly ignores her and Lucas watches the exchange silently with amusement. It’s evident that Catherina doesn’t catch onto how disinterested Isadora is at all.

The moment Catherina disappears, Lucas opens his mouth to comment when the foster mother steps in instead, interrupting them once again. This is KAREN VAN HERSCHING (40s), type-A, driven, and devoted mother – but not exactly on the same wavelength as Isadora and doesn’t put in as much effort as she should to meet her at her level. It’s clear from the way she greets Lucas that she is… uncertain about him, which is to say lowkey terrified he’s going to do something like steal her jewelry or vandalize her perfect off-white walls.

After a brief exchange and Karen checking if they need anything like a good hostess, she leaves them alone. Lucas waits to see if any more interruptions are imminent before speaking. He tries to ask Isadora about how this foster family is shaping out, indicating it’s not the first one she has been with but perhaps the one that has lasted the longest.

But Isadora doesn’t want to talk about it. Lucas points out that, hey, at least this woman seems to be putting in a modicum of effort. Isadora ignores the comment, redirecting his attention to the task at hand and making it clear that such topics are not being discussed this afternoon.

INT. MINKUS HOME - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

In sharp contrast to Isadora’s crowded foster home, the Minkus home is lavish, spacious, and more than able to accommodate Farkle and his many siblings. At present, four of them are seated at the dinner table with STUART MINKUS (late 30s) and JENNIFER MINKUS (40s) – Farkle, LILA MINKUS (18), URI MINKUS (12), and EZRA MINKUS (7).

Farkle is smack in the middle of this family with two other older brothers off at college already, and while it’s more than evident that it’s a loving clan there’s just not enough attention to go around most days. Jennifer is distracted with Ezra, and Stuart is attempting to get Uri engaged in conversation about his school day.

During the conversation, Farkle consistently attempts to gain control of the dinner topic, finally just blurting out whether or not they all believe in ghosts. This captures their attention certainly, all of them laughing it off or scoffing. Farkle, please! Why would he even ask such a silly thing…

Farkle: No, yeah, yeah, of course. I know. I know, obviously. I just… yeah. I know.

Ezra: Wait, why are we talking about ghosts? Are they real?

Jennifer: Of course not, dear, Farkle is just being silly. Aren’t you, darling?

Farkle, flatly: Oh, that’s me. I’m as silly as they come.

Somehow, the conversation shifts gears until Farkle is forgotten again. He accidentally knocks over a water glass and makes a mess, causing both the parents to get up and run to get stuff to clean it up. Lila, clearly harboring a somewhat contentious relationship with her closest in age sibling, rolls her eyes disdainfully.

Lila: Why are you such a disease?

Farkle: [ chews pointedly and obnoxiously in her direction ]

Once the dust from his accident has settled, Farkle tentatively mentions the upcoming performance at JQA and asks if his parents and siblings will be able to make it to any of the middle school recruitment performances. Especially given the special guest of Mr. Jacobs… Stuart fondly recalls the business dealings he’s had with Jacobs, but doesn’t confirm or deny his presence at the performance.

When Farkle pushes further, all of them express pity and point out x commitment and y reason that they can’t make it. But they’re sure he’ll do great! Farkle brushes it off, acting as though it doesn’t bother him. But he’s pretty quiet at dinner after that.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

As the week progresses, a series of odd and unusual “hauntings” begin to happen at the school, prompting discussion amongst the students. A couple of them even mention how a couple videos have been featured on their rogue instagram page, AAA Confessions.

We haven’t seen the terrors hit the performers full force until rehearsal one afternoon, in which CHAI FRESCO (15) is practicing the opening operatic tones of “Think of Me.”

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Think Of Me” as performed by Phantom of the Opera Original Cast || Performed by Chai Fresco (feat. AAA Sophomores) || First 40 seconds

While Chai is rehearsing, a set piece seems to mysteriously fall apart and come crashing down – seconds from where Farkle is pacing and running choreography. Maya pulls him out of the way just in time, obviously stunned by how close it came to falling on top of him.

To be clear, the set piece is just thin wood and probably weighs less than five pounds. It wouldn’t have done much damage to anyone, but the sound it makes as it hits the stage floor startles all of them. The moment is clearly an homage to Phantom, prompting screams and an assemblage of the performers to launch into “HE’S HEREEE, THE PHANTOM OF AAA!” Farkle is like okay can you all shut it?

This isn’t the first happening they’ve experienced that week, however, and people are starting to change their tune. As Angela calls for a break and Shawn instructs Dave and Dylan to go and fix the broken set piece, Maya makes a dash for the dressing room. Riley watches her go, contemplative.

INT. AAA - GIRLS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

Maya is attempting to shake off the nerves from the spook, whispering to herself and taking deep breaths. Riley follows her in, hanging back for a moment before Maya spots her in the mirror. Embarrassed, Maya snaps at her for what she wants.

Riley tries to put her best foot forward, offering a helping hand and claiming she has some techniques she uses to calm down if Maya wants them. There’s a moment where it seems like they may come together, but Maya has been independent for a long time and doesn’t plan to let her walls down any time soon – let alone to a nobody like Riley.

She redirects instead, pointing out how she doesn’t see how Riley could possibly be of any help to her when she can’t even keep up with the rigor of the curriculum. Ouchie! Riley takes the blow, nodding and backing off. The moment she’s gone, Maya lets out a long exhale, hiding her head in her hands.

INT. AAA - BOYS DRESSING ROOM - DAY

The discussion over Farkle’s near “brush with death” continues in the dressing room. Although it seems like Charlie and the others are starting to wonder whether the ghost may be real, Farkle maintains his skepticism almost like an act of defiance. But he’s a bit too crazed over it to be wholly convincing.

Zay has his own doubts, and he expresses as such before gearing up to head out. He’s off to do a little investigating of his own.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Riley is en route to lunch when Charlie catches up to her, offering to join her for lunch since she’s still trying to figure out her place. We still can’t tell if he’s genuinely a nice person or if he’s trying to get with Riley, but she does humor the conversation long enough to get something further out of the conversation.

The two of them stop in the hallway just by the library, the cafeteria doors down the hall. Charlie stuffs his hands in his pockets and leans against the wall, launching into a lament about how it is a shame that this ghost stuff seems to be cropping up at the same time as the recruitment performances. Riley probes further.

Riley: Why is it such a big deal? [ hesitating, then batting her eyelashes ] You know, if you can tell me.

Charlie: I don’t really think it’s so much a secret as people not wanting to come off too vulnerable. But these kind of showcases, they’re really important to a lot of people in class. You know, everyone is trying to prove they’ve got what it takes.

Riley: Farkle.

Charlie: Farkle, sure, but the rest of them too. Maybe not for the same reasons, but you know what they say. Everybody’s got something to hide. [ Glancing at Riley, looking her over. ] You know what I mean?

Riley, uncertain: Right. Sure.

Charlie rounds out the conversation by pointing out the very true fact that most of the odd happenings have occurred in the auditorium. He just wishes it would cease and desist so they could get some practicing done. If someone could exorcise whatever demon is haunting them, they’d sure be a hero. The wheels in Riley’s head are turning…

When Charlie asks if she’s ready to go eat, Riley pretends to have forgotten something in the auditorium, saying she’ll meet him later. He waves and heads off, Riley ducking back towards the auditorium. If the sophomore class needs a hero, then she’s willing to step up to the plate.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Riley continues her journey to the auditorium, making sure to duck out of the way and sidestep as people pass her to head towards lunch. She ducks into an open doorway and watches as Isadora passes with Asher, Dylan, and Jeff tailing behind her, confirming that the techies have vacated the auditorium.

Making it to the doorway to the dressing room hall, she ducks into the doors and disappears.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Poking around the darkened theater, behind the scenes, the auditorium seems much more sinister than it does during class. It’s almost humorous, the way the technical aspects of the room – set pieces, costume loft, prop loft – seem to loom over her and intimidate her as if they’re straight out of hell.

Spooky music accompanies her as she makes her way around, wandering where she shouldn’t and searching for any sort of clue as to what may be causing all of the strange happenings. She continues to hit dead-ends, until she changes her track and heads towards the world beyond the stage: the audience, the aisles, and the technician’s booth looming so far away from them all.

In fact, the technician’s booth seems like a worthy thing to investigate. It’s so mysterious and removed, and if anything would hold answers that would be it. Riley glances over her shoulder, jogging towards the back row of seating and the stairs that lead up to the technician’s booth. She hesitates, hand hovering over the handrail, before taking the plunge.

She takes the steps two at a time, slowing the closer she gets to that hulking black door. It’s unassuming yet insurmountable, and Riley grows more apprehensive the closer she gets. The door handle is right in front of her, waiting… the music quiets as she reaches a hand out… inches away from the other side of their world…

Lucas, from below: HEY!

DUN DUN DUN! Lucas’s shout acts as a jump scare both to us and Riley, causing her to startle and whip around. Lucas is glaring at her from the bottom of the stairs, as unfriendly and unsettling as usual. Talk about truly terrifying.

Lucas: [ tilting his head ] You’re not supposed to be in here.

Riley: Oh, yeah. Yes. Well, I was just… see, I was only…

Riley has no excuses and no probable explanation for her presence. At least, none that Lucas would take or appreciate, she’s sure. As she struggles to find an excuse, Lucas begins making his way up the stairs in her direction. Each step of his big black boots is like an impending sense of danger, and Riley would run if her brain would start working again. But it’s completely shut down, unable to form a coherent thought, plausible excuse, or get her feet moving so she can escape and live to see another day.

Lucas comes to a stop on the step below where she’s standing, allowing them to stand at approximately the same height. Riley trails off with her stammers, pressing her lips together nervously and avoiding his gaze. Lucas simply examines her, getting a good look at her. Riley has to wonder if this is the end for her – he does have a switchblade, after all.

Instead, Lucas waits for her to glance at him and meet his eyes. Then, a simple message:

Lucas: Mind your own business.

Then he leaves her alone, continuing his trek up the stairs and disappearing into the technician’s booth. The door slams, causing Riley to jump again. She takes a moment to catch her breath, closing her eyes and trying not to like, pass out. Then she makes a beeline out of there.

INT. AAA - CLASSROOM - DAY

Zay, on the other hand, is conducting analysis of his own. As he works in math class, he notices Jade and Dave continuously tossing glances in his direction when they think he isn’t looking.

Thoughtful, Zay waits until the rest of the class has left when the bell rings before approaching the two of them. He questions if they’ve also noticed the strange behavior supposedly attributed to the ghost. Jade acts nonchalant, but Dave stumbles a bit which Zay catches onto. Jade excuses them both, but Zay has gotten the lead he needs. Something else is up, and he’s not going to let it drop so easily.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Somebody’s Watching Me” as performed by Rockwell || Performed by Zay Babineaux

As Zay continues his way through the halls and throughout the school day, he takes note of all the moments where the techies are acting weird or seem to be just behind him or in his line of sight. It’s evident to him that they’re behind whatever is going on, he just needs some proof.

He gets his proof as he turns the games on them and starts trailing each of the techies, trying to see if he can catch any of them doing something suspicious.

INT. AAA - COMPUTER LAB - DAY

His search comes to an end as he corners Isadora in the computer lab, working on a cut of her documentary. She dodges his interrogations at first, but the more he pushes the more easy she is to crack. She admits that they’re behind the whole thing, but begs him not to blow the ruse until she can get all the footage she needs.

Zay passes her to take a look at the footage, watching with amusement as Farkle and Maya freak out on camera. He thinks for a moment, before declaring he’s not going to rat her out. On the contrary – he wants in on the joke.  

He may just be the key they need to convince Farkle, considering he would never believe another performer would be in on the ruse. And Zay has known him for two years now, he’s observed enough about Farkle’s psyche to know how to crack him. Forging a temporary truce, Zay and Isadora shake on it.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Using Zay as their inside man, the techies pull off their final prank on that Friday, the same day that the recruitment performances kick off. They haven’t gotten much rehearsing done all week, and this day is no exception despite how frantically Maya tries to get them all to pull it together.

As the mirage unfolds and they essentially pretend to (convincingly) kill Zay after he is kidnapped by the ghost, Farkle cracks and totally freaks out. The prank falls apart after Zay breaks character, and the techies all burst into laughter now that Isadora has gotten all the footage she needs. The performers realize what has happened and that they’ve been messed with, and they are none too happy.

Maya: What, do you think you all are so smart? You think you’ve done something really great?

Isadora: Well, no, not yet. Still needs to be edited, but –

Maya is pissed, and the rest of the performers share that energy. When Zay tells her to calm down and that it’s not that deep, she retorts that it is, because they’ve wasted an entire week and now they’re going to embarrass themselves in front of a bunch of middle schoolers and people whose opinions actually matter. The techies fire back that they had to give up something already, so perhaps this can even the slate.

It’s clear that the divides that exist between the school are running even deeper than ever. Riley watches it all unfold, not quite feeling a part of any of it. Somehow isolated even in a situation where her placement should be effortless and easy. Maya storms out first, leaving tensions high.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Angela and Shawn are at it again, having a sparring match over what unfolded in class that afternoon. They’ve convened in the actual performing classroom, the black box, and it’s more claustrophobic than the halls. As they argue, their words seem to echo off the walls.

Shawn claims that the students just got what was coming to them. Angela scoffs, commenting that Shawn is just as childish as them and as he was the day she left him. This is a deep cut, and Shawn doesn’t have much to say in response. She states that it’s time both of them grew up – that he stops spreading his petty energy and tantrum throwing to the students, and that she stops holding out the foolish hope that he’ll change.

Shawn wants to get another word in, to stand up for himself, but Angela claims she doesn’t have the time. She has a class to lead in a performance that’s going to be tough for all of them, considering his students fucked it all up. Shawn is left behind, seething. He knocks over some papers from the desk, running his hands through his hair.

INT. RILEY’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Riley practices along in her bedroom, dressed for the recruitment performance but with her mind elsewhere. She sits in her bay window and strums her ukulele.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Creep” as performed by Jahzel || Performed by Riley Matthews

Riley sings this stripped down version of “Creep” by herself, demonstrating her talent when its just presented and allowed to simply be. It reflects the frustrations she’s having fitting in with her classmates, and feeling as though she doesn’t quite belong (“What the hell am I doing here / I don’t belong here”).

When she finishes, Cory pokes his head in and asks if she’s ready to go. She hesitates, then nods, dropping her ukulele on the window seat and getting to her feet.

INT. JOHN QUINCY ADAMS - BACKSTAGE - NIGHT

The performers have assembled, Angela leading the charge. She leads them through warm-ups, before confirming if they have the same sense she does that their number they’ve been half-assing all week just isn’t going to cut it. They all agree, they haven’t practiced it enough.

Angela claims they should go on loose, then, and perform something fun that they all know. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? Doing it because it’s fun and because you love it. When she asks for suggestions, instantly Maya, Farkle, and Zay all shout “TIME WARP,” because it’s the quintessential Halloween theater kid song from a quintessential theater kid movie.

INT. JOHN QUINCY ADAMS - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The techies are all in their positions, begrudgingly so. Lucas and Isadora are hanging out in the booth waiting for the performance to start when Shawn darts in, late again but seemingly on a mission. He pulls the two of them aside, telling them to go to the festival.

Shawn: Did you finish the film?

Isadora: Yes, I submitted it an hour ago. Why?

Shawn: Good. Then you’ll want to get going if you want to get there in time.

Lucas: What?

Shawn: Go. Both of you, get going and go represent triple A. If you leave now before this starts, you can still make it. [ to the others ] Dylan! You can cover the board?

Dylan: Aye, aye, captain!

Lucas and Isadora are totally stunned, questioning if that’s allowed and whether it’ll cause more trouble and a myriad of other questions. Shawn shrugs them all off, getting both of their attention and looking them in the eyes. The words he speaks next are impassioned, coming from his own experience, and also act as a lesson for a good portion of the series.

Shawn: Look, sometimes, you can’t let the man tell you what to do or how to be. If something is important, if it matters, you go out and you do it anyway. Only you can decide who you are and what matters. You stand up for yourself. Do you hear me?

Lucas and Isadora nod, getting the message loud and clear. Shawn gives Lucas a pat on the shoulder before pushing them towards the doors. They peel out just as the opening tones of “Time Warp” fill the auditorium…

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Time Warp” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by AAA Sophomore Performers

The performers take to the stage, doing a fun, loose, and kooky rendition of the classic Halloween dance number. They all actually look like they’re having fun, and the middle schoolers are clearly having fun too. In the back of the theater, the mysterious Mr. Jacobs watches with an intrigued eye.

Lucas and Isadora sprint into the parking lot, making it to the car Isadora is allowed to use. Lucas hops in the driver’s seat, the two of them backing out of the parking lot and exchanging a grin before heading on the way to the conference.

As it stands, there’s no way this performer / techie divide is going away any time soon. Neither is the tension between individuals. But for now, for a moment, they can share in the one thing that brings them all together and brings them joy – the rush of a successful production.

END OF EPISODE.

[vigilantesxrpg]

Allow us to introduce REMI HENDRIX. The 23 year old, MISFIT currently holds a job as a WAITRESS @ MURPHY’S LAW. Some people describe her as LOYAL, while others feel she might be a little CLANDESTINE. EVERYBODY HAS A STORY, HERE’S HERS:

My mother once told us that everything happens for a reason, that things had been pre planned before they happened. It was God’s way of keeping order in the world so that it functioned the way he intended it to. All the good things in life happened because he loved us and wanted to keep us happy and when bad things happened it was the devil trying to deceive us. She said that when we grew up we’d face hardships and that the sun wouldn’t always shine but it would come out again, that we had to be strong. The devil might tempt us with his sweet fruit but not to stray from the path God wanted us to take. We believed it like pretty little fools. I often ask myself.. where was God on Sep. 10th? The night she was murdered.. WHERE was this ‘God’ who cared so much for his children, the holy father that was supposed to save us and pull us out of our darkest days? I came to realize.. that there was no God.. no man looking down from the plush clouds I used to watch from behind barred windows. I lost the only person who really ever understood me. I blame this made up belief that has half if not the whole world brainwashed by the false promises and lies. If such an entity existed then why was Rebecca gone? Why didn’t he save her? I’ll never know. We’ve nobody but ourselves in this world..” If life had been beautiful rays of sunshine and butterflies Remi Hendrix would have possibly lived a wonderful life, but that only happens to the lucky ones.. Born on october 31st 1997 Remi entered the world with her identical twin Rebecca only two minutes ahead of her. Jane and Greg Hendrix were elated when they were able to hold the twins for the first time, Rebecca and Remi had been the rainbow babies of four attempts. With so many tries the Hendrix’s were made to feel like failures, their little faces making everything worth the sacrifices. Growing up life was a cakewalk, the Hendrixs gave them almost everything even when they didn’t deserve it. By the time the twin’s tenth birthday had rolled around Greg’s career had taken him on out of town trips that began to last weeks on end or that was at least what they told the girls each time Jane found lip stains on his collar. Life progressed as normal until sophomore year of highschool when the girls began to drift off into their own cliques, Rebecca seemed to excel in sports and the popular kids while Remi enjoyed the low profile kids also known as the ‘losers’. Homecoming came around and while Rebecca was ecstatic and praying she’d make homecoming queen, their mother had her hands full attempting to persuade Remi to go. Was she really going to go? Of course not but she dressed up as if she had been. While Rebecca shined in her baby blue gown her mother beamed “you look like Cinderella, I always knew you’d be a princess!” The comment itself had Remi rolling her eyes from behind the scenes as she too wore a similar dress only black. “And you.. look like the swan princess” their mother did her best to show similar excitement. “If only your father could be here to see the two of you he’d be proud of you both.. but I’ll send him the photos” she said softly urging them to get closer together by the staircase for a smile. “Say homecoming!” Jane said cheerfully —“homecoming “ the girls sang only Remi’s was less enthusiastic. It wasn’t until both girls had gotten to their homecoming destination that they split off, this year's theme had been a fairy tale theme with ball gowns and sparkling lights. Instead of it being at the typical school they rented out a small hall and decorated it for the perfect evening. Remi couldn’t wait to escape the eyes of the school staff and more importantly her sister, she slipped away with her group of friends and made their way out to the woods where the kids would later have their “after homecoming party” unsupervised of course. The bonfire had been lit and Remi and her friends began to pregame knowing Rebecca would rat her out if she ever saw Remi indulging in marijuana. Two hours had gone by before homecoming came to an end, students made their way to the secret location in the woods behind the football field bringing almost everything they could get their hands on. It came as a shock when Remi didn’t see her sister however, they’d talked about going and she had even said “see you there, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” But she never showed. Pulling out her phone she texted Rebecca a few times before giving in and calling her, no answer the first time. Second time the phone picked up but it sounded like a scuffle on the other end. Trying to keep calm Remi asked some of her sisters friends who cold shouldered her and said she was with Ryan, Rebecca’s senior boyfriend. Internally Remi felt like something had been off but she wasn’t so sure, maybe it was the pregaming that made her feel so unsettled so she texted her sister again getting no response. Her phone lit up with “Becca” and a rolling eye emoji and Remi picked up fast “Becca!? Where the freak are you!? I thought we were—-“ —— “R-Remi…” the voice was shaken “Becca where are you? Are you with Ryan?” She began to panic. “Help—- me..” then another scuffle could be heard before the phone went dead. “Becca!?!!” The kids around the fire began to look at her as if she was crazy. “Where did they go!” Remi said gripping up to one of her friends “I told you Ryan now get off” she narrowed her hues at Remi. “She's a fine relax freak” Remi didn’t let up “she didn’t sound fine where they go!?” She yelled at the girl until finally “they went to the football field” and shoved her off and Remi ran as fast as she could in her dress. When she got there she could see Ryan’s car but no one was in it. Rumor had it that all the jocks had fixed up the shed for a small boys hangout and that they’d drink and get high back there. Remi made a run for it calling out to her sister in hopes she’d hear something back but nothing came. Upon opening the shed she could see their scattered clothing, Ryan was on top of Becca with his hands tightly wound around her through. He hadn’t noticed she stopped breathing but it was very apparent that she was dead still as he continued to fuck her. “Get off of her! “ Remi shreaked, hitting the panic button on her iPhone self consciously. “He hadn’t moved and instead told her to fuck off and that Becca was better when she was silent. When he didn’t move she dropped her phone and grabbed the closest thing she could get her hands on- a baseball bat that had been sighted by one of their top baseball players. One swing and she hit him in the back of the head causing a slew of curse words to slip from his mouth. “You stupid little bitch” he hissed finally removing himself from Becca to turn around to get Remi. “Let me show you how she liked it.. you’ll like it too.” He stepped closer and out of sheer panic Remi swung again and again and again until his large figure fell to the ground. Whe couldn’t stop herself and continued to beat the bat into Ryan’s head until he was unrecognizable but he was still breathing. Hands shaking, the bat fell from her hands and she moved quickly to her sister lifting her head into her lap and cradling her the best she could. “Come on Becca breath! Don’t do this, you can’t leave me!” Her eyes swelled and she began to cry, his fingerprints imprinted into her sister’s neck. “Please Becca please!” Remi begged her to live but it was clear by her glassed over eyes that the light was gone. Remi sank to the floor and screamed just holding her until the cops arrived. They had to remove Remi from Rebecca placing a blanket around her shoulders and sitting her in the cop car while they waited for their mother to identify the body. Ryan had been taken out by stretcher “he’s still breathing!” The EMT Called to his partner as they rushed him to the hospital. Remi would never forget this night.. back home she wouldn’t speak, eat or even leave her room. She blamed herself for not sucking it up and just going to homecoming maybe then her sister would be alive. It didn’t help that their father was unreachable and that her mother acted as if she’d lost both of them. When their father did return home a day later after the news they’d stay up all night fighting only for him to leave for hours and her mother took out her frustrations on Remi “get up why can’t you be like Becca? You’re not dead, get up and do something.” Remi felt stuck in a cycle of endless sorrow until finally she just disappeared. No word given, not like her mother would care. She didn’t know where she’d go or even end up but she took what she could and hoped it would take her somewhere better. She hitchhiked from California to Colorado until she ended up in Seattle. She met Reed Murphy there and for once she had someone even though he was only a friend who disapproved of her habits but he never judged. He was there until he wasn’t. Her willpower dwindled and she discovered a few things to numb the pain but cocaine seemed to be the bigger hitter… mostly because it helped her see and talk to Becca again. Drugged out with no idea as to where she began and Becca ended she overdosed just wanting to join her sister and end the dark void that was consuming her. A month later Remi woke up in a hospital in Seattle listed as a Jane doe. Current time: You would think Remi would take her second chance on life seriously but it didn’t feel right. A whole half of her was missing. She didn’t know where Reed had disappeared to when she got out of the hospital and continued her excessive drug usage eventually finally tracking down the one person who ho made her feel not so alone. Tracking him all the way in Vermont she knew if she played her cards right she could possibly make him feel sorry enough that he’d help her. She needed a way to survive or at least to continue to pay for her party life and Reed was the best chance at all of it that she had no matter what she would have to do to obtain it.

[lovemissnancy]

Thank You Jonghyun for giving me the courage to speak out about my battle with depression.

If you take the time to read this, thank you, I know I have written a novel. I felt a shoulder lift off as I write this…

There have been a lot of things going through my mind, I was very hurt through what had happened, mostly because I felt somewhat guilty that I couldn’t do anything to help him and I just felt broken, because a life was taken away. One of my favorite songs by Jonghyun was Skeleton Flower, along with Breathe too. In Skeleton flower, Jonghyun describes the song as something like this, “Life is somewhat like being wet by emotions, being gradually colored, then being dried out again,“ I thought that I could be strong, I held back my tears because I didn’t want to show I was broken and sad, but I broke down last night and the reality of this situation has now finally reached me after denying it all this time … I was in and out of depression, I actually am still battling the demon inside

From what I have seen of Jonghyun and his work, he is such an amazing person who spoke out about his thoughts on depression, and he was open about it … after much consideration, I thought I would also talk about my experience with depression, and I hope I will find the strength to help others too and together we can fight and make Jonghyun proud of us … and forgive me if this is all over the place … this is how my mind is, I have so many random thoughts consumed in my mind

I am the oldest child of 7 children, I am a first generation university student. The moment I was born, I have had a lot weighed on my shoulders, so much to the point where I tried to commit suicide many times, and not many people know about this, not even my closest friends. It has been this way since I was 12 years old, and I am now 20 years old. Being the oldest, I have had to bear a lot of this on my shoulders and it was hard on me, everything that I did, I felt like it wasn’t good enough for anyone. The second oldest and I are no more than 2 years apart, yet I feel like I am 10 years older because my parents raised me to be more independent, this is where being lonely comes in. My parents have told many of our relatives that I have been quiet and alone like this since I was young, only I didn’t realize this until I was 12 … my parents told them that I would always play on my own, and that my sisters formed a group and there was me, all alone. It wasn’t anyone’s doing but my own thoughts …

I would always feel like I was left out, I felt like I wasn’t wanted you know … and it really just hurt me a lot, because I felt like no one wanted me, I wasn’t their first, but their second. I remember just coming home a lot of times being sad that I didn’t have a friend like anyone and I felt like I was nothing, I felt like with my family as well, I didn’t think anyone liked me. The pressure of being the oldest just kind of isolated me and I guess I couldn’t take it anymore, that is when I wrote my first suicide letter and I tried to suffocate myself to death, just so I couldn’t breathe anymore, and so I could leave. I didn’t think I was good enough, I thought that everything would be better if I was gone ..

I was not the favorite child of my family, and no matter what I did, I did not think anyone was proud of me, I felt like no matter what I did, I would never be able to live up to expectations of others…. I was never particularly good at anything, not singing or dancing or looks, nor was I beautiful and skinny. So once I got scared, I just kind of pushed others away and then I became lonely.

High school went relatively okay, I fell in and out of depression, when I was in high school, ladies code also had their car accident, and I lost EunBi, my bias ..  … actually, high school was really tough. I, was the oldest, I got my permit first, I went to high school first, I was the first to take honor courses in class and I was the first to get a job in my class, and I was the first to go to college and I then I began writing letters again because it got too much for me, and I was going through it alone, I didn’t want to ask for help because I don’t ever want to be a bother to anyone at all...  I won’t explain everything in high school I was just always the first to do everything, I never felt like i had anyone to lean on even though I had friends and family. High school is also where I got into my first car accident too, and being the oldest, I felt like I have let down my family and was a bad example.

When I went to college, I went in pretty much alone, I had no one to turn to. Though I made friends and joined clubs, I still felt so alone, college is where my depression hit an all time low. I was so caged in all my life that the real world overwhelmed me, I grew up being independent, but I also grew up trying to please others and doing what others wanted, I always just kind of hid behind and allow others to take initiative, and now it was my turn to do everything myself. 

My sophomore year was when it got worst, I had one night where I cried myself to sleep by the corner of my desk, I had a night where I had to have someone physically come stay with me, that is where my second attempt came in. My negative thoughts almost made me walk out of my dorm and buy a rope, I walked back and forth clutching my key wanting to buy as many pills as I can and hike up (my school is located near forresty/mountain area) Last year, I finally figured out that I when I hit close to committing suicide, I begin writing farewell letters to everyone…. And just from August of 2017 alone, I have written letters three times, and if only you were able to read my history … you do not know how many times I have researched the least painful way to die, or the quickest way to die because I didn’t want to be in more pain or be in pain any longer … I got really sad one night, and in the darkness of my college campus, I walked around in the cold for an hour, and I didn’t bring any protection, because what was the worst that could happen to me?

I have always made myself feel bad if I did something that wasn’t good, I would have to constantly battle with myself that I didn’t have to be perfect but inside I was actually dying inside …. You know how there are videos and such of a devil and angel on shoulders in the movies? In my mind, even currently, there are two devils, because I have conditioned myself to always be negative to myself and I, myself, am the sole person who has been destroying my own mind. I have cried myself so much to sleep because I can’t help but be like this, because of being raised as more independent in mind, I never felt like I was able to ask for help due to the fear of being rejected, no matter how many friends I currently have, I have always felt like I wasn’t as important to them as others were, even though I am surrounded by so many people, I still felt alone because it was my mind tearing itself apart with negative thoughts…

If you were to grow up with me, you would learn that I would also rather choose the happiness of others and would try to patch up my thoughts to allow the other person so I would put them first instead of myself. I let others hurt me, then I punish myself, and it repeats again. It is also like no matter what anyone says, I continue to tear myself apart, because I can’t be like others and I felt like everything was my fault you know? Because it seemed like everything was being blamed on me.. If I got compliments or was praised, I didn’t take it to heart because I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I was so used to being the second and so use to beating myself down that I conditioned myself to let the words of praise walk around me and enter through one ear and out the other ...

Really random too, but the words that still haunt me to this day, are the words, “It’s your fault,” These are my trigger words and once someone says its my fault, I get a ping of sharp pain in my heart.

My depression has many different stages, it can last from hours to multiple days and when it does, I lose even more interest in things and I end up alone, but I am an INFJ. I love being able to spend time alone, but the more time I spend time alone, I am so consumed in my thoughts that I begin tearing apart my flaws, the reasons why I feel like no one liked me. Even if someone liked me or told me I was important, I couldn’t accept it … I still to this day feel like this. It is like I can’t see anything, my head automatically assumes the worst and can’t read when someone is trying to actually praise me.

One of my biggest fears is not having anyone to love me, not having someone there for me. Since a child, I have been afraid of dying alone, not in the sense of actually dying alone, but in the sense that no one would come visit my grave and that no one will be there to see me off as they lower me to the ground.

There’s still a lot that is left unsaid, but I will end with this. If you are confused by what I have written, don’t worry, I am confused as well. Maybe these quotes (will down below) describing and INFJ will help you connect my depression along with being an INFJ. Thank you if you’ve reached this far, my university has a Counseling and Psychological Services and I will be booking appointments to talk about my depression and hopefully to stop myself from continuously writing my farewell letters. 

…..

I got in and out of depression…. Sometimes when I sleep, I fight with my mind, because sometimes when I sleep, I hope that I don’t wake up to see the sun again. 

Thank you Jonghyun, A little bit of weight has now lifted from my shoulder, I hope to be able to be strong and fight my battle.

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[angeltriestoblog]

I went from reluctant leader to ACTM officer!

Kind of a late update but after what seemed like an endless discernment period and an unforgivably rigorous application process (on my part), I’m officially the Ateneo Association for Communications Technology Management’s Associate Vice President for Documentations! And yes, I’m aware that’s a mouthful so from this point on, I am referring to myself as ACTM’s AVP for Docs.

I honestly did not see this coming though: Freshman Angel stuck out like a sore thumb in her home org. In addition to finding all upperclassmen intimidating as I do with anyone born at least a day before me, I felt like I was just… not feeling it most of the time. All I lacked was a button that read “I really wish I weren’t here right now!” pinned to my shirt. It was only when I was a sophomore, familiar with the organization’s events and able to see them up close that I realized that I didn’t remember going through most of them myself. Although I’m pretty sure I was present because it was mandatory for all new members, I don’t recall going to a general assembly, being briefed on the different departments within the org, and especially being taught what our core competency was. I was very content with doing the bare minimum as a Docs Head: going to meetings to take minutes and do registration, nagging at the project heads and point people to submit the necessary requirements for post-documentations, and smiling shyly and saying “I’m ok!” when people asked me how I was.

Although I was much more active in my second year, I never realized I wanted to increase my level of involvement until I went to LEAP, the three-day leadership training seminar in Zambales I raved about in my first semester recap blog post. It was there when I noticed the home aspect that ACTM prides itself on: everybody—regardless of batch and predetermined social circle—bonding in more ways than one, both with and without the influence of alcohol, just having a great time and joking around like they’ve been friends forever. I saw just how much ACTM was investing in me to help me realize that maybe I could be an officer too. Maybe I could contribute to the great culture that makes us so much of a family. But of course, that thought quickly found its way to the backburner the minute we boarded the bus back to Manila.

I never really saw myself as leader material after several failed stints in my old school: I was the secretary who forgot to ask the teacher to sign the attendance sheet, or the vice president that ran out of the classroom first during earthquake drills when I was supposed to be last in line to check if all appliances were off. (In my defense, it was an act of self-preservation.) I didn’t realize it then while I was busy wreaking havoc in every homeroom class I found myself in but when I finally grew up, for the lack of a better term, I came to the conclusion that being put in charge of a group of people would only bring disastrous consequences and I didn’t want anyone involved in that.

Fast forward to several months later: I had an individual consultation with my boss Chelsea, the previous holder of my current position, to help with her plans in running for vice president of our department. Somewhere along the way, she tapped me to fill her shoes—a request that was met with a high-pitched “WEH?” that probably shocked everyone on the third floor of MVP that day. I had been diligently doing my work for two years, she said, just as long as she has so I knew enough about the processes. Back then, I was very preoccupied with two other extracurricular commitments and had plans of joining three more the next school year. My goals and ambitions were all over the place and I guess it reflected in the way I skirted around the topic because she just patted my knee (throwback to the time when physical contact was still acceptable) and told me to think about it. Real hard.

I guess this lockdown period also served as the time for discernment I needed: I weighed the pros and cons, made the necessary trade-offs, and got the insights of those I trusted, mostly by pestering them with uppercase keyboard smashes. I’d think I had a final decision one day then wake up the next, completely changing my stance. It’s not like I didn’t want to serve—I guess I just wasn’t giving myself permission to believe I could. I can’t really pinpoint when it happened but one day, my brain went: “What the heck. What could possibly go wrong?”

—

After making the decision to run, I felt at peace, no longer overthinking about every single thinking that could possibly go wrong, just eager for the day application season would formally start. Well, that is until I received the actual notification from the Ateneo ACTM page that said a Facebook group for all AVP aspirants had been made. I tossed my laptop aside and started yelling, much to the dismay of my mother who was on the receiving end of all this panic. Over the next few days, I would watch the electoral talk that followed, a webinar of sorts that basically gave a rundown of the process we would have to go through should we want to take on the challenge. 

One of my requirements was a long-ass form complete with questions about myself, my leadership skills, the department, and the organization. I remember looking through the platforms of the Executive Board applicants during the first wave of elections and saying to myself, “Wow, I hope I don’t have to fill up something that long. I would cry my ass off!” only to find out that I would have to submit almost an exact replica of that and truly enough, cry my ass off. While Noelle, our EVP, was glossing over everything, I took these pictures on my laptop’s photo booth to express my frustration and sent them to my friend Julia, who was also watching via Zoom. I was actually very paranoid that I had my video on during the call and would end up exposing my contorted facial expressions to all 70 people watching the livestream. Thankfully, the universe was merciful enough to be on my side at the time.

Believe me, I wanted to get started with the work the minute the virtual meeting ended: I felt like I needed to so everything wouldn’t pile up and paralyze me on the day of the deadline. But even early on, I was already pretty overwhelmed and I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. So I lay down on my bed for the rest of the night and played Ribs by Lorde on repeat. It was an effective coping mechanism then but I instantly regret it the next day once I realized just how much time I had wasted doing nothing when there was so much to be accomplished.

I answered the introspective questions pretty quickly: thanks to my sense of self-awareness, I was able to identify my strengths and weaknesses well. What I really struggled with was the platform. I couldn’t generate any original ideas that I felt could solve the problems I spotted—I had wondered if I could just copy paste Chelsea’s platform and add comments such as “Same” or “RT” on the side and call it a day. Thankfully, this is what individual consultations were for. I contacted Elise, a co-Docs Head from the previous school year, and Gella, my boss back in freshman year and both were kind enough to bounce ideas off me and give me reassurance that the working drafts I had in my mind were actually worth executing. With their insight (and a lot of ice cream), I was able to finish my application form days before I expected to.

I also wrapped up shooting my platform presentation ahead of schedule. I couldn’t find any decent background at home besides this one cabinet but I failed to notice that part of its door was actually faded until I was already done filming. In an attempt to hide it in a way that still appeared on-brand, I slapped some star and cloud stickers on the video and claimed that it matched my own name. The only obstacle I had to overcome was practicing for my panels.

The fact that my question and answer session with the Executive Board was to held be online instead of in-person given our circumstances was supposed to comfort me somehow. But either way, not knowing which answers were going to be expected of me gave me a great deal of anxiety. To stave off this irrational fear, I prepared a Quizlet with 27 potential questions or points for clarification on one side, and my response on the other, which I rehearsed with just the right amount of uh’s and um’s interspersed to make it look as spontaneous as possible. Maybe my greatest sacrifice though was boycotting any TV shows or movies until I was done presenting because even the most mindless programming could take away precious brain cells needed to retain more important information.

On the day of my actual interview, I was feeling pretty confident. I had gone the extra mile by preparing an hour early and recording videos of myself answering my imaginary questions on my laptop camera. This way, I felt like I was simulating the actual experience. But not even this form of planning could have prepared me for the real deal. I wish I could tell you more about how it went but I was so nervous that I blacked out. I vaguely remember puckering my lips and flashing a peace sign every time I didn’t know the answer to something and had to respond with, “I will look into that if I ever get the position.” I also remember that not a single one out of the 27 questions I had committed to memory was asked.

As expected, I was the most relieved when it was over, I didn’t even feel embarrassed until much later on. I got out of my smart casual attire, slipped into some pajamas, watched a movie, and finished the tub of Coffee Crumble waiting in the freezer as a reward. Two days later, I had received a message from Chelsea asking if she could call me. My friend Iverson had said that results are announced to all applicants via phone call before being released to the public at night. It’s not a clear indicator that I was the one they chose, which was horrifying because who wants to be rejected over the phone? My younger self hated Joe Jonas and what he did to Taylor Swift for precisely this reason!

Thankfully, I was only met with good news. Chelsea had told me that I had been chosen by the Executive Board and I was ACTM’s new AVP for Docs. I hadn’t eaten breakfast at the time despite the fact that it was 10 minutes to noon at the time so it took a while for my nutrient-deprived brain to generate the appropriate reaction. The joy kicked in eventually: I jumped up and down and yelled I’M SO HAPPY so many times once the call ended that the words have started to lose meaning.

Since then, I’ve spent my time familiarizing myself with my roles and responsibilities while getting to know everyone else on the team. I’ve had a video call via Google Meets with the people in my department where we leveled off, got to know one another better, and set our goals for the year as we watched Chelsea eat pasta. Very wholesome! EC Wars was also pretty fun: all eight departments of the organization were head-to-head in different challenges. It kinda reminded me of high school intramurals but with less broken friendships. We had to auction one another a la Unsubtle Syota Searching, make a Tiktok introducing our department, its relevance and the roles of each member (which officially launched my career as the org’s official Kris Aquino impersonator), and had a chaotic game of Bring Me through Facebook Messenger. Yes, it’s possible but not if you’re a PLDT subscriber! I also got put in a group with other members of the EC for an activity where we had to make an IMC campaign for a chosen advocacy. As the Mind Readers (named as such because of the multiple instances we sent the exact same message at the same time), we were assigned to tackle sustainable fashion and I have to say that our finished product was, as Dani Rosales herself would call it, “hot”.

This week, we’re on to the more serious stuff: revising internal procedures, refining platform points, etc etc. The fear caused by my self-doubt is further compounded by our current situation, which is keeping us from performing our tasks the way we envisioned we would. But I am a hundred percent confident that since I’m with the right people and we’re all doing the very best we can, it’s going to be one crazy fulfilling year ahead for all of us. I’m endlessly grateful to ACTM for taking a chance on me! Shoutout, of course, to: (1) Chelsea for serving as the final push I needed to decide that serving this organization is what I wanted to do; (2) all my friends who told me I had nothing to worry about while I was being neurotic and who were the first to congratulate me and say that they told me so; and (3) my parents who listened to my rants even if they were 90% org-related jargon.

Wishing you all love and light,

Angel

[cascornerfairfieldu-blog]

College of Arts and Sciences Student, Lisa Angell, Delivered Inspiring 2019 Commencement Speech

President Nemec, Members of the Board of Trustees, Honored Guests, Members of the Faculty and Administration, Family, Friends, and Members of the Class of 2019. Good morning. I cannot stress enough what an honor it is to be standing here today. Now, just to see what I’m working with here, who here has seen a movie? Very good, great start! As I am going to be receiving a degree in Film and Communication today, I want to share with you a little formula that Hollywood’s screenwriters call “the hero’s journey.” I guarantee you, your favorite movie follows the formula, so I’ll take you through it.

First comes the set-up: four years ago in September the Class of 2019 sat in these same seats and officially joined the herd. We all sat together as strangers, and imagined what our college experiences would be like. The only thing my eighteen-year-old self could think about was my new found freedom, the vast possibilities of new friendships on the horizon, and my plans to attempt to get into a townhouse party later that night.

The important part of the set-up in the hero’s journey is the inciting incident, the call to action that brings our protagonist on an adventure that will result in some sort of growth or change. This call to action occurred at convocation when the speakers explained to us the Jesuit values. They explained that Fairfield, as a Jesuit institution, focuses on educating the whole person. Our education seeks to enrich our body, mind, and spirit, which has become known to us as cura personalis. Fairfield creates opportunities for students to become women and men for others and to strive for excellence.

For our screenplay to really get going our protagonist needs to accept or reject this adventure. So I will take you back again. I remember visiting my sister, a 2016 Fairfield grad, when I was applying to colleges. I remember saying that the core curriculum was way too big, that there would be no way I would want to take classes in a subject like philosophy. After all, my goal was, and still is, to be a filmmaker. My parents, on the other hand, loved Fairfield, as did my sister. So they set up an appointment for me to sit in on a film class. Hidden in the basement of the prep school, as many of you may not know, there is a little world of film-- creativity bouncing off the walls. Often times, for our protagonist to accept the journey, he or she will need some sort of motivation from a mentor, like when Luke Skywalker encounters Obi-Wan Kenobi or when Dorothy meets Glinda the Good Witch. For me, I accepted the adventure when one of the film professors explained to me how a Fairfield education was unique in that you are given the chance to learn it all. He illustrated a vision of a ball, imagine any ball you like, a crystal ball, a basketball, a meatball, whatever you’re into. Now imagine the ball is too big to hold. It is filled with knowledge. He told me that the core allows us to get a better grasp around the ball. You might think the core allows us to grow big enough hands to palm the basketball, but I think it has to do with having people to carry it with you. By learning from each other and being enlightened by other perspectives, we gain empathy. With this we are able to hold the weight of the ball together, the weight of the world.  

For the movie to continue the protagonist has to accept the adventure. So on we went. We began to embody Fairfield’s mission. The classes we have taken, the professors who we have made our mentors, the teams and clubs we have joined, the friends we have made. Every opportunity we have grabbed hold of has shaped us into who we are and who we will become when we leave Fairfield. We view the world differently now because of the core curriculum. I, for one, am glad I was able to study across disciplines to enrich my mind and to stretch my intellect far beyond job preparation. The world itself is interdisciplinary and because of our Jesuit education, we are more prepared for what is next. By gaining perspective across every subject, we can connect the arts, literature, history, sociology, communication, business, math, science, religion and yes, even philosophy.

This is the part of the movie where everything is going great for our hero with some peppy upbeat music in the background, but there is no doubt our protagonist will encounter some obstacles. About ¾ of the way through a film the protagonist will hit rock bottom. Without hitting bottom, our protagonist would never grow. I may have just been naive, but the college experience was filled with more growing pains than I ever could have predicted. And coincidentally, Fairfield U had growing pains right along with us, renovating buildings across campus as part of Fairfield Rising. As freshmen, we battled homesickness and ate our feelings away in Barone. At the time, we could either choose to work out in the basement of Alumni Hall while the Rec Plex was being built, or opt to gain the freshman 15; the far easier choice. Our sophomore year, as we felt the pressure of declaring our undergraduate majors and quite possibly altering our life projections, we spent a solid month of our spring semester eating in a tent outside the BCC so Barone could “glow up” and become the Tully. Like Fairfield’s campus, I myself felt under construction. But here we are, at the red ribbon cutting ceremony, just moments away from receiving our college diplomas. And we all live happily ever after, right?

Well, I hate to burst everyone's bubble, yeah “we did it!” BUT this is only the beginning. In a better movie, where the climax of the film doesn’t happen at $2 Tuesday at the Grape, I think we are still in the set-up of the movies of our lives, and the call to action or inciting incident is happening right now. We still have so much growing to do. I came into college relatively closed-minded. Remember when I said I would never want to take a class in philosophy? Well, after I took Intro to Philosophy I declared it as a minor. The many classes I took opened my eyes to think bigger, to question what I thought I knew, and question authority. Just because things are the way they are, doesn’t mean they are the way they should be. Humanity, as it has been across history, is still plagued with wars, corruption, and poverty. And now more than ever, we have increasing environmental concerns. We are in a new age: filled with technology that has shrunk the world and connected humanity at a global level like never before, but also putting an emphasis on self-image, making superficiality the norm. This is the hand that we have been dealt. Now it is time for us to shuffle the deck and deal a new hand. The core at Fairfield has taught us to never take anything for face value and to challenge the institutions that exist in this ever changing world. Now I encourage you all to break away from the herd. Strive to reach new heights. Don’t settle. We have the opportunity to embark on the hero’s journey and make an impact.

Understanding the privilege of being a college graduate comes with the responsibility of accepting the adventure. We cannot take for granted the diplomas we are about to receive, because others may not be as lucky. There is great inequality that exists within this world, within our country, within Fairfield County alone. Are our lives different for a reason? Did God bless us with this opportunity? Or is it just luck of the draw? Is it happenstance or is it fate? Whatever it may be, that does not change the fact that we are blessed to be in the position that we are in.

During a semester abroad, whenever someone asked where we were from, their faces would light up when we would say “I’m from America.” People across the globe look to America as a land where dreams come true. Across the world people try to make it here, in the pursuit of happiness and the American Dream, with a promise for opportunity. But as we know, this promise isn’t kept for everyone. It takes hard work, and a lot of luck. We would like to think that we deserve all the opportunities we’ve been given, because after all, we live our lives like we are the stars of our own movies. In reality, we had no control over where we born, the families we were born into, the circumstances we have been given. What we do have control over is the way we use what we have been given to make an impact and leave a legacy, out of respect for everyone who did not start on an even playing field. After all, the playing field here at Fairfield has the greenest, most well-watered grass I have ever seen!

We don’t know what happens next, but that’s the fun of it. After all, we don’t want to know what happens at the end of a movie when it is only just beginning. Our hero’s journey starts now. As we leave Fairfield, let us seek more than just comfort in our lives. Although money will help us survive, it will not guarantee us to thrive. Of course we want the films of our lives to do well at the box office, (who wouldn't?) but we should also strive to have some substance intended to inspire and relate to one another. To thrive, we must challenge ourselves to never stop learning. Live life in pursuit of gaining a wider perspective on the world. We must always revel in our growing pains. And find incredible co-stars to carry the ball with us along the way. That is how we will experience passion and bliss. AND... never take that green grass for granted. Congratulations, Class of 2019.

[gentlemanmendes]

Beauty Behind the Madness 02:

02:

Getting into the backseat of my mum’s car I sigh. Although I've had four cups of coffee since I woke up at three am this morning I still can't seem to get enough energy to help me keep my eyes open.

My dream or memory of when I first met Arleigh still ran clear in my mind. I wasn't even aware of the fact that I remembered some details so clearly like the scrape that she had gotten on her elbow from the fall from the tree, or how her face looked smaller and softer at the age of fourteen to the way it did last year. Back then she still had her baby fat cheeks.

I've dreamed of Arleigh a lot since that night, one of the main causes of my insomnia, but last nights dream was different. It was more vivid, intense, and not to mention the fact that it happened the exact same way as it did the first time. It felt as if I was in my fourteen year old body again, humming the lyrics I used to write then before I knew it I was studying Arleigh's face for the first time. This couldn't possibly be normal which is why I'm not going to tell a soul about it.

But what got me most was when I strummed my guitar while Arleigh watched intently. I haven't played my guitar in five months. It was something that Arleigh admired so much and without her in my life, after what she suffered, it didn't feel right to continue anymore. Nothing felt right anymore.

"Ready for school?" Aaliyah asks getting into the passenger seat as we waited for mum. I wasn't in any mood to talk but it's Aaliyah and the last thing I want to do is hurt my sister, the only person that still looks at me the same. Although mum and dad have let go of my punishments I know that they are still deeply ashamed of me and I don't blame them.

"No, no ones every ready for school." I try to hide the venom from my tone but there's no point.

I don't want to go to school for many reasons but the main one is that I would then have to see my "friends". After three months with no contact, all on my part, I will have to see their faces again. Any normal person would just make new friends but it's senior year, after this I will never have to see them again. I don't have any plans yet for after graduation, all of them had involved Arleigh, but I know one thing that I am still sure of; I'm not sticking around.

"Do you think Arleigh will be at school?" Aaliyah asked looking over in the direction of the Axle house.  Just like last night the place seemed to be in the exact same state it had been while Arleigh was gone. Some part of me must have thought that the house would light up like a Christmas tree when Arleigh returned.

Wait, now that Arleigh had returned what would her life be like? Would it go back to the way it had been before that night? for her sake I really hope it doesn't. She's been through enough. What about recovery? What was that like? Did her dad ever visit her while she was in rehab? I bet mum would know but I don't exactly make it my business to talk about the Axle family with her.  Guilt swells up inside me and a lump forms in my throat just from the thought of bringing up a conversation like that with her.

"I don't know."

Too be honest I had thought of the topic all night/ morning. Surly she wouldn't have to worry about school now, her mental health is way more important. She doesn't need to go back to a place where she will be treated differently, she will be treated worse. After all those rumors I'd hate to see what would happen if Arleigh was to make an appearance in those dreaded hallways. Yeah it's senior year and every one will be focused on graduating but the whole school knows so if she doesn't get crap from our grade, which is highly unlikely, She will get crap from the juniors and the sophomores who had attended school last year and would have definitely heard the news.

When my mum joined us in the car Aaliyah dropped the subject, she had grown to realize that mum and I don't talk about the Axle family while around one another. It was a rule we had established on our own without having to actually said anything about it. Sometimes I wonder if mum does truly realize how much I regret my decisions but other times I still believe she is disappointed in herself for raising a son like me.

As usual mum tried to fill the morning journey to school while stuck in traffic with her boring small talk that Aaliyah and I usually replied with one word response. The conversations usually go along the lines of something like 'are you nervous?' 'no.' 'The traffic is so bad!' 'Yeah.' 'It looks like it's going to be a sunny/cloudy/ cold day today' 'cool'.

It's not that Aaliyah and I don't enjoy talking with our mum it's just that we both hate mornings and small talk, combining the two is practically pleading for us not to give a stuff.

My mum slowly pulls up to the school and I feel my insides tip upside down, tumble around, and tie themselves in a knot. All throughout summer I hadn't thought about what it would be like to return. During the car ride, however, I hoped we would get to school quicker than usual so I didn't have to listen to another one of mums obvious weather  forecasts. But now that I'm here I want to hide away under the car seat and scream at mum to keep driving past and never to turn back. Unfortunately though this is the horrid messed up nightmare also known a life and no such luck comes our ways so I have to suck it up and get out of the car. What I plan to do for the next two- hundred or something days hasn't crossed my mind yet, do I want to actually try or am I going to spend them feeling sorry for myself? What about my friends, am I going to sit with them or hide away alone under the hood of my sweater? Worst of all what about Layla, is she going to want to be one of those high school stereotypes that show way to much PDA in the hallways? I feel myself cringe at the thought of it. Sure I was willing to kiss Arleigh in the hallways but that was only a small peck every so often because she is the shyest person on the planet and hates drawing attention to herself.

Hopelessly I attempt to swallow down the growing lump in my throat but it doesn't budge. With one deep sigh I throw my bag over my shoulder and roughly push open the car making sure to emphasis how pissed off I truly am by slamming it shut behind me. It takes a lot of effort not to look over my shoulder at the shocked faces of Aaliyah and my mum but I can't  find  it in me to regret it. I don't regret anything anymore, anything except for that night when I lost the girl I loved.

The entrance of the school is filled with groups of people happily reuniting, giggling and cheering, laughing and hugging, it all makes me sick. As fast as I can I untangle my earphones and shove them into my ears as I keep my head down hoping to go unnoticed by everyone. Thankfully I make it to my locker where I hide my head away inside it. I don't need anything from it considering that it is empty thanks to it being the first day of school so I simply use it to hideaway from the crowd as I try to calm myself down.

Breathing suddenly felt impossible, I wanted to yell for no apparent reason just to let the anger that has built inside of me out, but I also want to cry, I want to fall to my knees and weep.

What is happening? Could I possibly be having an anxiety attack. Jenny was sure that over the summer I have had a few but what did she say the symptoms were again? Surly I'm not because all I did is enter the school grounds, I haven't even made it to first period.

"Hey baby." called a voice causing me to jump in fright. It was bad enough I was already having trouble breathing yet someone felt the need to jump on my back scaring the crap out of me.

When I've composed myself I turn around to find the culprit. Layla is standing behind me in shorts and an oversized tee shirt, smiling up at me. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. She's my "girlfriend" but I'm not relieved by the sight of her, if anything I'm quite annoyed actually. The smile drops from her face as she stares at me. We've probably been standing like this for no more than a minute but I can't find it in me to change the bland expression on my face.

"Are you okay?" She asks as she looks around as though I'm a child about to cry and she's embarrassed by it. Do I look like I'm about to cry? I don't feel like crying I feel like storming out of the building and running until I faint or puke, whichever comes second so I could get further away.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" The harsh tone I use doesn't faze me.

I can't help but let a dry chuckle escape past my lips. Only now do I realize that she doesn't actually care if I'm alright she just doesn't want me embarrassing her in public. I realize that it upset Layla and I turn my attention back to my locker. She clearly doesn't care much for my feelings why should I care for hers? Not to mention the fact that now I've become hopeless when it comes to dealing with emotions. It's almost like now I'm made out of stone, cold hard stone that is nearly impossible to break down.

Layla didn't say anything. I thought she would have left by now but she didn't instead she stood there dumb founded as though she had never heard anyone talk to her like that, she probably hasn't because she gets everything she wants.

Making sure that she was well aware of the fact that I was done with what ever was going on here I slammed my locker door shut and walked off into the other direction making sure not to look at any one only keeping my head down.

When I get into the classroom I don't bother looking for anyone I know, instead I take a seat in the back corner hiding away from everyone by keeping my head down low which if my mother was here she would probably tell me that it was bad for my posture.

The room is loud filled with the laughter and shouting of my classmates but I feel so distant, like I'm in another world far away from here. Everyone is so happy and excited to be back but I'm like an alien in this room being the only one wanting to get as far away from this place that holds so many haunting memories that it's almost impossible to breath.

"Alright everyone find your seats, your seniors now so I expect you all to know the drill." The teacher said sternly causing me to roll my eyes.

"Mate, where have you been all summer?" Mitch patted my back hard before taking the seat next to me. As usual he is wearing his snap back backwards even though that trend is like a million years old, and even though I can't see I imagine his skinny jeans to be hanging too far down so you can see his briefs, yes Mitch we all need to know that you are wearing black Calvin's today.

I didn't bother answering or looking at Mitch. The fact that he can carry on like nothing had ever happened makes me feel disgusted to have ever been friends with him. Had he hurt more girls than just Arleigh and I hadn't noticed because he carried on like he always did. He's a sick bastard that thinks people are he's little toys that he can mess around with and it doesn't matter if they break because he can always throw them away and get a new one from somewhere else.

"Hey, I hear your fucking with Layla." I finally look up just to make sure I'm not imagining the amusement in his voice, sure enough he is staring at me his blue eyes wide and carefree, his lips holding a sly grin, and his eyebrows raised. Surly he isn't this thick. "good to know you grew a pair." he nodded in agreement before turning his attention to the front of the class pretending to pay attention before leaning back in his chair throwing his arms behind his head for support.  

I couldn't really say much to him about paying attention since I was no better, all I did was stared down at the graffiti covered desk below me waiting for this agonizing day to end even though it had barley started.  The teacher went on about what she expected from us this year and I was sure that by now no one was paying attention. I didn't think I would look up once until a small knock came from the door causing the teacher to stop talking and even though I couldn't see I knew that everyone's head had turned to the door. When Mitch nudged me I looked over to him to see what he wanted but it was obvious when my eyes fell upon her.

Arleigh looked like a wreck. Her dark wavy hair was left long as usual and fell around her face but it didn't have that shine that it used to hold, her skin was so pale she almost looked like a ghost a lot more than usual, even though she wore an over sized sweater and black skinny jeans it was beyond obvious that she had lost weight, but what was worse where her eyes they where the same brown they had always been but the bags under them caused he to look so lifeless.  In that moment everything inside me went cold, it's all my fault. After my eyes had fallen on her I couldn't look away as horrible as she now looked there was still a trace of the beauty that had once been so obvious and had made too many girls envious.

"Sorry I'm late." Her voice wasn't the sweet sound I was used to, it sounded rough and strained the way it usually did after she cried. When she spoke to the teacher she didn't look up from the ground, she held her books close to her chest the way a child would hold their teddy when they were scared of the dark. Arleigh always preferred holding the books she would need because she would say her bag was too heavy most people found it weird but I though it was adorable.

"Take a seat Arleigh." Her attention finally lifted from the ground to find all eyes on her, something she dearly hated, to scan the room for an empty seat and she found the only one which was in front of me. Her eyes stayed glued to me for a brief second and in that second I saw hatred flash through them and her grip tighten around her books as her jaw clinched ever so slightly. She stared back at the floor as she made her way to the chair.

Almost on instinct I turned to Mitch and I saw just what I feared, his signature wicked grin making it's way onto his face. He's now sitting fully aware leaning forward  on his chair, his desk supporting his weight. He looked around making sure he had a crowd, what would be the point of all he does if he didn't have anyone to go around and tell the story,  and he waited. Mitch knows that timing is everything, he waited until everything went silent and that only those who knew that he was planning something were now paying attention to him. He was staring intently at Arleigh meaning that what ever he was planning had something to do with Arleigh, because he hadn't done enough to her already. My muscles tensed wanting what ever it was to be over with.

"Hey Arleigh," he finally said taking a small pause. "how was rehab?" Although it wasn't anything much  I heard an erupt of laughter and turned to see Jess, Layla's best friend, laughing as though it where the funniest joke ever.  To be honest I thought Mitch might have said something worse.

Arleigh pretended as though she hadn't heard anything but I saw her hands form a tight fist digging her nails into her skin, when biting her lip didn't help her hold back that was her next option.

[purplesurveys]

208

Have you ever screamed in the shower? Yeah, usually when the water first hits me and it’s way too cold.

When you’re on the computer do you use your iPod or iTunes/Limewire? I used an iPod until I was 13 and iTunes until I was 14. I’m 19 now...Spotify is the way to go these days.

Who are the four people you talk to on MSN most often?

When was the last time, if ever, you spoke back to a teacher? Last year. I don’t do that to college profs anymore because there’s always that fear of getting sued over it lol. If there’s a prof that’s been really rude and doesn’t deserve my respect though I wouldn’t hesitate to answer back.

What teacher would you never speak back to? Anyone respectable.

Could you be classified as shy? When I’m around people I don’t really know, or if my friends leave me with someone they’re close to, but not me. Generally I’m getting better at handling situations like that, but I still have my tendencies to be quiet.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? My wallet hah.

In your group of friends, are you the smart one, athletic one, etc.? I’m the mother of every group I’ve been in. LOL I’m always the one to let them know if they’re being too loud, making sure everyone has a place in the circle, giving them food, etc.

Who are your closest friends? Gabie and Angela are my best friends.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Ugh no, that’s such pointless drama to get caught up in.

Because of yours? No, all of my friends love us.

What was the last test you got back, and what did you get on it? I got my art studies test back AFTER MORE THAN A MONTH, it was the only one I was left waiting for. I got a 98, so basically an A I think (we don’t use letter grades).

Are you out for summer yet? If not, when do you get out? No, the academic school year started four months ago and I don’t finish sophomore year until next May.

Do you have any big plans for the summer? I actually plan on finishing the entire civic service program my school requires during the summer. The demand is high for the rest of the school year, so I’d rather do it during the break when not a lot of people would take it.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? I don’t think so. I hate petty people so I’m most likely to provoke them more.

What kind of iPod do you have and what colour is it? I have a blue iPod from 2009 but I don’t use it anymore, plus it’s the super-thin model so god knows where it’s been the past few years.

What do you wear when you’re going to sleep? A tank top and shorts are my comfort clothes.

Say something to the person you like right now: No.

Who is the last person that was at your house? No one ever goes here so I guess the last person even if it had been three weeks ago was my girlfriend.

Whose house were you last at? Gabie’s, although I haven’t been inside since October. I always drop her off every Friday though.

If you go out for lunch during school, where do you go? My university has SO many food hubs (40-50 street food stands stationed around campus, an entire road for independent mini-restaurants, and a shopping center with a couple of bigger establishments) and all 25 colleges have their own cafeteria so you’d have to be really desperate for food if you still feel the need to go out.

Are you going anywhere exciting anytime soon? LMAO I was going to my art studies field trip in Pampanga today but I ultiimately got too lazy. No plans other than that.

When you’re on the computer/texting, do you spell things correctly or use shortforms? Shortforms only when I’m talking to either of my best friends, but even that is seldom. I’d rather spell correctly.

If you could join your favourite band, what instrument would you play? I listen to music, not play it myself. I’d rather enjoy them from the audience.

What is the last concert you went to? Coldplay, but I’m going to be seeing Paramore again real soon!!!!!

Are you going to any upcoming concerts? How excited are you? YES I AM AND I’M VEEEERY EXCITED. Paramore is the only band in the world I would pay to see more than once. I went to their concert in 2013 but only got lower box tickets, so it wasn’t the full experience. When they announced their return for next year, I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than a VIP ticket so that’s what I got.

Do you have any homework you should be doing right now? I know there are papers that I at least have to start conceptualizing but I couldn’t care less at the moment...

Whose house, other than yours and your families, are you most comfortable at? Katreen’s and Angela’s definitely. Gabie’s too but I get triggered, especially when their family is complete. They’re very close with each other and you all know how I feel about mine, so I don’t stay there when they’re all bonding and I’m obviously the ‘others.’

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? No, that would be so mean and I wouldn’t go to their house after that.

Who was the last person to wear your clothes/shoes other than you? I’m an X Small, so nothing I wear ever fits other people...

Whose clothes other than your own did you last wear? Why? Gabie’s cardigan. It was cold in Starbucks so she lent me hers.

Have you ever made a “100 Things To Do This Summer” list? I probably did an attempt but I must not have made it beyond 20 entries.

Did you do everything on the list?

Do you have any after school activities, or do you just sit around at home? I’m (nearly) in a journalism organization so I stay there after my classes if I have to or want to.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? I had swimming lessons when I was 9, then did track for 2 years, and I’ve been playing table tennis ever since. Swimming was fine, track was alright when my stamina was still strong, but my true love has always been table tennis.

Do you actually participate in gym class, or just stand there? I hated our curriculum in PE. Our school is divided into quarters instead of semesters, so for every quarter we have a new thing–swimming, fitness, a new sport, and a new dance. That’s one new topic, for every quarter, for every year. I had to be active since I wanted a nice grade, but I hated all of it. I wish I was just able to play table tennis all year round.

What class do you have the most tests in? In the current semester, all my profs don’t hold a lot of quizzes. They just lecture a lot.

What class do you have the least tests in? I don’t have tests in my newswriting class at all. It’s all about news reports.

What class were you in when you last got a class detention? We don’t have detention.

Have you ever been on the honour roll? It wasn’t a thing in private school but I’m a current dean’s lister in university.

Lat thing you bought that was over 100 dollars? Paramore tickets.

How much money do you have on you right now? A little over 1500 pesos. That’s $30 for this survey that is obviously at least North American.

Would you consider getting a summer job this summer? Consider, yes. Actually pushing through with it, very unlikely.

When you were little, did you ever have a lemonade stand? Nope, that’s too American. < Heh yeah.

Did you ever watch the show Full House? No, it was either never on Philippine television or I was always too young for it.

What cartoons do you still watch? Sometimes I would watch We Bare Bears and Spongebob.

What was the last thing that scared you? I remembered a still from The Exorcist when I had my eyes closed in the shower, ugh.

When were you last in a car and who were you in it with? Yesterday, driving home from school. I was alone.

What radio stations do you flip between in the car? 93.1, 99.5, 94.7, and 88.3. The first two play the current biggest hits, the third one plays the more underrated but still hits and 00′s music, and the last one is more punk rock, grudge, alternative, metal.

What song can you absolutely not stand right now? Anything by Fifth Harmony.

Do the librarians at your library know you by name? No, since I never stop by. We have a huge catalog, over a million titles, so the grandiosity of it kind of makes me anxious.

Which of your friends was the last one to annoy you? Gabie.

Is there anyone at your school you feel really bad for? Myself?

How many people are in your group of friends at school? That’s my entire org so that’s more or less 35 people.

What ten people would you most likely bring on a roadtrip? Gabie and any nine people from the org.