#<- speaking from experience of my first year when i tried to join clubs and promptly chickened out to the point of not being able to

[pallases]

AUDITIONS!!!!

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

My heart Beats for no one but you

Jay White X fem reader Word Count 5K

Main Masterlist Jay White Masterlist

Summary: Everyone wanted to know the real reason Jay White left NJPW to come to AEW when he had contracts around the world. The truth is he came to AEW because of Y/n, the love of his life. He was going insane without her by his side and he knew he would die if they coudn't be together.

Everyone wants to know why I became All Elite. Why I decided to come to AEW when I had offers all around the world. I was the hottest free agent and of all the places to pick I decided to join All Elite Wrestling. Even though I might not be getting booked the way I wanted to I don’t regret signing with AEW, not in the slightest. Why? Well, it’s because of Y/n. 

Y/n and I met years ago in Japan. She was in Bullet Club and I was just starting out in New Japan Pro Wrestling. I remember when I met her for the first time. She was everything. She was gorgeous, everything about her was perfect. In a way, I looked up to Y/n. We were the same age but she had the experience over me, she had accomplished so much for her age. She truly was one of the best pro wrestlers out there. Due to that, I would often ask her for advice just as an excuse to talk to her. Two years after my debut in New Japan I realized I was in love with Y/n. I found the courage to ask her out and we began going out in 2017. She even helped me get into Bullet Club, which I am forever grateful for. The two of us were perfect for each other, we fit each other perfectly. I knew she was my soulmate, I knew I would marry her. We spent all of our time together, we were joined at the hip. People claimed it was too much, we were obsessed with each other but the truth was I just found my other half. 

Y/n knew that some of the other boys wanted to leave New Japan. She knew they wanted her to go with them but she never told me about the secret plans. Instead, she acted like nothing happened and encouraged me to betray Kenny Omega. “You should turn on Kenny and take over Bullet Club. I’ll help you!” I remember looking at her like she was crazy. “Now why would I do that? Don’t get me wrong I like the idea but why would you encourage me to turn on some of your best friends?” Later I found out that Y/n put in a good word and wanted me to become the new leader of Bullet Club once the Elite left. 

A year after Y/n and I made it official, in late 2018 she helped me to take over Bullet Club. Many members such as Kenny, Matt, Nick, Cody and Hangman left the club soon after and ended up leaving New Japan as a whole. I knew Y/n was hiding something from me for months leading up to the betrayal but every time I tried to bring it up I was shut down. “You won’t understand. I’m just under a lot of stress” It was true, she was under a lot of stress. I felt like our relationship was forming cracks due to it. The sneaky phone calls, how she would come home late at night and leave in the morning before I got up. Anyone else would think she was cheating on me but in my gut, I knew it was something different. I knew that whatever it was that was bugging Y/n she would tell me when she was ready. 

The night I took over Bullet Club we went out to celebrate. All of my friends such as Juice, Finlay and the remaining members of Bullet Club went out and partied all night. I was sad Y/n didn’t join us. She said she needed to have some meetings with New Japan and I believed her. Once I returned to our shared flat I found Y/n a mess. Her hair was a mess, her makeup was smudged, various empty bottles and half-lit cigarettes were scattered on the floor. I was drunk but the moment I saw Y/n I was instantly sober. I carefully sat down next to Y/n on the floor and carefully asked her what’s wrong? That’s when she broke. Everything she was hiding for months came flooding out. She cried and cried, all I could do was hold her and tell her I was there for her. When she was able to calm down enough to speak she told me everything. 

“I’m sorry Jay. I’m sorry I’ve been hiding everything from you. The truth is everyone is leaving New Japan. Kenny, Matt, Nick and Cody want to start their own wrestling promotion and they want me to go with them. They want me to move to America” I didn’t know what to say. I was in shock. This explains why she suggested the betrayal. Everything was slowly starting to make sense. I didn’t want to know the answer to this question but I had to ask. “Are you going to go with them?” “I don’t know. It’s complicated. As much as I love them I don’t know if I can move back to the States on a flip of a dime when there is still so much uncertainty” The truth was I didn’t want Y/n to leave but I knew this could be a big opportunity. 

Fast forward a few months and All Elite Wrestling was formed. Y/n had declined the offer to join everyone in America. The Bucks understood her reasoning, the unknown was scary. She liked the stability she had in Japan. They said they would always have a contract with her name on it if she ever changed her mind. I also knew they wouldn’t give up that easily on her. Y/n’s contract with New Japan was up and although she was offered a new one she had a bigger contract waiting for her in America. I’ll never forget the day when I saw that letter arrive in the mail. I felt my stomach drop when I saw it. The difference between this official contract and The Elite asking Y/n to come to America was that this letter was from Tony Khan. The billionaire that invested in AEW. We opened the letter together and discussed the pros and cons of the offer. 

Pros: Making way more money, more vacation time, closer to family, better benefits, reuniting with old friends, new opponents, more opportunities, and a guaranteed championship

If I was Y/n I would have taken the contract. Despite whether AEW would succeed or not she would still be making good money. AEW offered her a million-dollar contract, something neither of us expected. The con list was small but for some reason, they were controlling Y/n’s decision. 

Cons: No Jay White, move across the world, 14hr time difference, no Jay 

“Y/n, I think you should really consider this contract. It’s amazing! You deserve it. I don’t want to be rude or anything but you have done everything in Japan. There is nothing else left for you to do. Just think about it. I’ll be fine here, I can take care of myself.” I didn’t know why Y/n insisted on staying here in Japan with me when I knew she was frustrated and bored. 

“I can’t go, Jay!” She told me “Why not? I’d take that contract in a heartbeat!-” “Because I need you. I think I would go insane if I moved to the other side of the world and couldn't see you. I’m completely in love with you Jay. Long distance never works out and there is no way I’m going to let you slip through my fingers” I knew her words were genuine. She wanted to go but was she really willing to sacrifice her dreams to be with me? It took a lot of convincing but Y/n agreed to at least try going to try AEW. We packed the essentials in suitcases and this was the end. I knew how much it would hurt but I couldn't let Y/n throw this away for me. Our drive to the airport was silent. We couldn't say a word without bursting into tears. I was never an emotional person but I now understood how Y/n felt. We said our goodbyes at the gate but neither of us could hold it together. “I can’t do this, Jay. I need to stay here with you” Y/n told me as neither of us dared to break the hug we were currently in. “Then stay. We can figure something out. As selfish as it sounds I need you here with me too” In the end Y/n declined yet another offer from All Elite Wrestling and took the same old New Japan contract she had been in forever. At least this time they offered her more money. Was it anything close to what she could be making in America? No, but it was a job, right?

With Y/n staying in Japan it led us to take over New Japan. The two of us were quickly the faces of the company and were able to solidify ourselves as two of the biggest stars in the history of New Japan Pro Wrestling. This was a big accomplishment for anyone, an even bigger one for two foreigners. I became the first-ever grand slam champion and Y/n made history by being the first woman to win a men’s championship in NJPW. It truly was us against the world, no one could beat us, no one was on our level. We were able to bring back the spotlight to NJPW. In a way we saved wrestling. Even though we were on the highest of highs it didn’t mean we didn’t experience the lows. Social media and pro wrestling never got along. Wrestlers never truly got the appreciation they deserved. Everyone called our sport fake but there is nothing fake about it. Sure some things are predetermined but the injuries, the risk, it was no joke. I could tell you stories about some scary moments in wrestling, this shit is not fake, the people who claim it to be are full of shit. When you are on that mountain people fight for your spot, they envy you, it can get messy at times.

 Once I was in a storyline with Will Ospeary and it got way out of hand. It was just supposed to be Will Osepeary Vs Jay White but those freaks in the United Empire couldn't help themselves. They started going after Y/n, they would make inappropriate comments at her, interfere with her matches and on more than one occasion try to snatch her from me. A war had broken out between Bullet Club and the United Empire and unfortunately, Y/n was caught in the middle of it.

I didn’t understand the hyperfixation they had on her. Sure she was stunning but she was taken, she was mine, and everyone knew that. That didn’t stop them from trying to get into her pants. When I first found out about the situation I was furious. I was going to murder the United Empire. The fight was set, this was going to end everything but it was only the beginning. 

The ring was chaotic, bodies were everywhere. It was WWIII, Bullet Club Vs The United Empire. During the match, Will and his goons had managed to get to Y/n, who was a special guest commentator. I tried everything in my power to get to her but I was handcuffed and duct-taped to the ring. I was forced to watch their attack on the love of my life. She was defenceless, she couldn't do anything. I was a five-on-one attack. The sound of kendo sticks to the back, snapping in half was sicking but not as bad as the chair shot to the head which busted her open. The worst was the tacks, why on earth would they use thumbtacks? By the time I got free, it was too late. The match was called off, no winner no loser, not even a draw, it went too far. I spent that evening screaming at the entire Bullet Club, why did no one do anything? I fired half of them on the spot. I couldn't even get myself to look Y/n in the eye, I was ashamed of myself. I couldn't protect my woman, I was a coward. “Look at me Jay” I couldn't “Look me in the eye” I turned to see my love’s once-green eyes all red and dark. I held her face in my hands delicately and looked at every mark that was left. I cringed at the 15 stitches and 3 staples in the side of her head. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry honey bee. I should have never let this happen” I told her. “I’m okay, this is not your fault,” she told me reassuringly. “But it is my fault, I did nothing. I watched that whole attack play out and I did nothing. And you’re not okay, you’re concussed, you have stitches and staples in your skull, and you’re covered in welts and bruises. This is not okay, you’re not okay” I was grateful we were alone, I didn’t understand why I had become so emotional. I couldn't stop the tears from falling, I felt weak. 

Times like that were hard, shit goes south, and you find yourself being stocked by fans. Not to mention that many of our friends moved on from New Japan. Despite all of that Y/n and I remained loyal to the company. During all of this, AEW just got more and more popular. She would never admit it but I knew a part of Y/n regretted not signing with AEW when she got the chance. I could see it in her eyes. In the few years of the company’s existence, they managed to change the world. I knew deep down that I should have pushed harder for Y/n to go but I was too selfish, I’ll never forget that and promised myself I would repay the favour one day. 

That day came sooner than I thought. One day Y/n and I got called into NJPW headquarters to discuss some classified information. I was skeptical and honoured that they wanted us to be a part of such a secret meeting. I was shocked to see that one of the many important faces in the room was none other than Tony Khan himself. He explained that he’s a huge fan of ours and that he would like to have a joint PPV with AEW and NJPW called Forbidden Door. He explained the concept and I was interested. This was a great way to show the American crowd Japanese wrestling and vice versa. I knew this would break the wrestling world, this had never been done before. Dream matches would be made, people all over the world would be talking about this. Best of all Y/n and I were going to be promoting the event. They wanted us to go scout out AEW for who we thought would work best with our talent along with building stories for who we would want to face. Of course, we agreed and soon enough we raided All Elite Wrestling.

During the main event on an episode of Dynamite Y/n and I emerged from the crowd and attacked the people in the ring. By this point, people knew of the joint PPV but didn’t know who would be in it or who would be the first to make a move. Y/n grabbed a mike and introduced us to the crowd, but to our surprise, no introduction was needed. They knew who tf we were. “In case you dumb Americans don’t know who we are, let us introduce ourselves. That right there is Jay Mother Fucken White, The catalyst of professional wrestling and your current IWGP world heavyweight champion. The first and only Grand Slam Champion in New Japan Pro Wrestling and the very best wrestler in Japan. You must live under a rock if you don’t know who I am. In case you don’t recognize me, my name is Y/n Y/l/n or as they call me in Japan ‘The Goddess of Love’. Jay and I lead Bullet Club and have taken over wrestling in Japan.  We’re simply the best that Japan has to offer so of course we had to come check out All Elite Wrestling. I’ll admit it’s cute here, different but cute. Boo us all you want but whether you like it or not you will be seeing a lot more of us. We will take over All Elite Wrestling and you all will have no choice but to breathe with the Switchblade!” Just like I thought, they ate it up. Y/n and I made history yet again. 

In the weeks leading up to Forbidden Door, many talent from Japan started appearing. The card was booked and everything was going perfectly. I was booked to face Okada, Adam Cole and Hangman Page in a four-way for my title and Y/n would get to wrestle AEW women’s champion Thunder Rosa in a non-title match. I had a good feeling about this show. I knew our matches would go well, one might say they went too well. 

Just like I said we would Y/n and I both won our matches. Y/n’s match was so good that after the show Tony Khan proposed Y/n a contract. I felt as if I had gone back in time, we were here before, this was her second chance. “I’ll let you think about it, I don’t need an answer right away,” Tony told her. “So, what do you want to do?” I asked Y/n. “I want to take it, this one is even better than the one they offered me three years ago. I really like it here. There is more opportunity, new opponents, and fuck, that paycheck.” I was so proud of Y/n, I wanted her to take that contract and run as far as she could with it. Sure being far away would be hard but this was my turn to take a step back and let Y/n follow her dreams. 

Y/n accepted the contract and made her surprise debut a few months later in October. This time when we sat together in our flat packing everything there were no sad tears. Instead, we savoured the time we had. We were moving on, we were opening a new door, experiencing a new chapter in life and in my gut I knew this would be the best one yet. “I’m going to miss you, Jamie” “I’m going to miss you too Y/n. I’m only one call and one plane trip away” I told her reassuringly. “Yeah except that flight is 14hrs and I’ll be lucky if I can get a direct flight” 

***

Once Y/n left, truthfully I was a mess. I didn’t know what to do with myself, we spent every second of every day together. I would come home and expect Y/n waiting for me with open arms but she never was. Our once-shared flat that used to be filled with colour and life was now cold, dark and dead. All of her things were gone, it felt so empty without her. I didn’t realize it at the time but I had fallen into a deep depression. Every night I lay in bed alone, unable to sleep. I would spend the night staring at the empty space next to me, trying to picture Y/n there but I was unable to do so. We called twice a day but it wasn’t the same, I needed her next to me. Along with being unable to sleep I also couldn't find myself able to eat. I had lost all appetite. Y/n would spend hours making the most delicious foods you could imagine even with being a full-time wrestler. Every weekend we would have people over, but now I had no one. I knew how to cook but all I could get myself to make was toast while I sat in the dark. 

I hated that I felt this way. Y/n was finally getting her break, she was making millions and doing all of these amazing things while I was over here feeling bad for myself. I was still the IWGP champion but I had no motivation to get out of my bed, let alone wrestle. Cowardly I called NJPW headquarters and put in my sick days. I couldn't let anyone see me in such a state. Y/n had been gone for a month but it felt like she had been gone forever, I felt like I had lost her for good. 

One night I was drinking away my sorrows when I heard a loud knock on my door. I couldn't get myself to move off the floor, even if I could I didn’t want to open the door anyways. I wanted to be alone. The knocking wouldn’t stop. Whoever it was wouldn’t leave me alone. “Go away!” I yelled through the door. “It’s me, Riley, come on Jay open up” I wasn’t expecting my best friend El Phantasmo or ‘Riley’ to be on the other side. “Leave me alone Riley” “Don’t make me come in there” I didn’t move. Y/n must have given Riley her keys because he let himself inside, once he spotted me he stopped in his tracks, he looked like he saw a ghost. 

Before I could even say anything Riley cut me off. “Y/n gave me her keys once she left. She wanted me to keep an eye on you. I came over because she said you had been ignoring her calls for days. Not to mention everyone at the Dojo is worried about you, we haven’t seen you in weeks” What was he talking about? Y/n hadn’t been calling me. I checked my phone and did indeed find 30 missed calls and about fifty texts over the past four days. “What’s going on man, you look like shit” “I’m fine, I don’t know what you are talking about” Riley gave me a disapproving look before his phone rang. “Yeah, I’m with him right now. Yes, Y/n he’s alive. No, you don’t need to come over here. I’ll look after him. Okay, yes, I will. I’ll tell him. Now get some rest, it’s late over there. Bye Y/n” I felt ashamed of myself. 

Riley sat down on the ground next to me and asked “What’s going on? Whatever it is you’re going through you can tell me.” “I don’t know Riley. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. I can’t do anything, I feel useless. I know this is pathetic of me to say and I will sound selfish but I need Y/n. I’m going crazy without her. I don’t know what’s wrong with me” Riley said nothing, he just let me get everything out. “It’s okay to miss her, Jay. We all miss her but you need to stop relying on her for everything. She’s not always going to be there and hold your hand. You almost made her fly out here Jay.” “Why am I feeling this way?” I asked Riley “Because you love her. I know you know that but you love, love her. I know you have that ring, we picked it out ages ago. If you’re so worried about losing her I think you should think about popping the question. I mean you have been together for the past five years” He was right 

That night I left my flat for the first time in weeks, I forgot what the outside world was like. Riley and I walked around the streets of Tokyo and just talked. It was therapeutic, we went out to eat at Y/n’s favourite sushi place and I knew I couldn't keep living like this. I needed to be a supportive partner, I needed to finish what we started together in Japan. Instead of doing everything with Y/n, I needed to be doing everything for her. I had to be a defending champion for her, I needed to main-event Wrestle-kingdom to prove I could take care of myself. 

I needed to get my life back on track. I didn’t even realize how much I was impacted by Y/n’s departure. I looked sickly, I wasn’t eating or working out. I had lost a decent amount of muscle and looked pale as a ghost. I wasn’t lying when I said I was sick, this was just a different kind of sick. 

***

Instead of sulking, when I missed Y/n the most I would either watch our old matches together or give her a call. I felt bad calling her when I couldn't sleep at 3 am but she reminded me of the time difference. 3 am for me was 5 pm for her but she insisted I call whenever I please even if it’s the middle of the night, so I did just that. This particular evening I was missing her the most, the holidays were soon approaching and I was sad we coudn’t spend them together. “How’s everything going in Japan?” Y/n asked me “It’s alright, I miss you. It’s not the same here without you” I told her honestly. “I know, I’m sorry I can’t be there for Christmas but I have some good news that will make up for it” “What’s that?” I asked curiously “Well, I talked with TK and since I’m working all the holiday shows I can come back to Japan for Wrestle Kingdom!” She said excitedly through the phone. I coudn’t believe what I was hearing. “What’s the catch? There’s always s catch, is it a 24-hour trip?” “Nope, no catch. I asked to do all the Christmas shows so I can come out to see you. I have almost two weeks with you. 13 days, I’ll only miss one week of TV!” “That’s great honeybee, I can’t wait to see you!” “Your main eventing the Tokyo Dome, I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” “I love you, Y/n” “I love you too Jay”

​​​​

Those few weeks leading up to the Tokyo Dome went by fast and before I knew it I was reunited with the love of my life. It was weird not having Y/n by my side when I took on Okada in the main event of that year’s Wrestle Kingdom but having her front row cheering me on was just as good. Even though I lost I was grateful that I had Y/n there with me. She was always there when I needed her the most and boy did I need her. We spent the remained of Y/n’s trip to Japan spending quality time together. We made the most passionate love to make up for the time spent away and explored the city we became one with. 

In the back of my mind, I knew my contract was expiring. Y/n knew of this and I know she wanted me to come to AEW but the truth was they didn’t offer me anything yet. I had many offers from other promotions but the one I wanted most simply didn’t exist yet. For the first time in my career, I was scared, scared of what the future held. I never told Y/n my troubles, instead I faced them alone. I agreed to a loser leaves NJPW match with Eddie Kingston and hoped for the best. I lost that match and felt like a failure, Y/n was front row for that match and I’ll never forget the look on her face when I lost. She comforted me after the match and tried to convince me to join her in AEW. I lied and told her they never offered me a contract when in reality they did and I accepted it. “What do you mean? They love you! I’m sure they will offer you a contract, Jay!” I felt bad for lying but I wanted all of this to be a surprise. 

I made my surprise debut in April and although Y/n was mad I didn’t tell her she was happy we were together again. I could have gone anywhere in the world but I needed Y/n by my side. 

I took Riley’s advice and proposed to Y/n. “My heart beats for no one but you. Every day I spent without you killed me. I love you so much Y/n. I would do anything and everything for you. Us being apart for those six months made me realize I coudn’t spend another day without you. Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n, would you marry me?” 

So yeah the real reason I joined AEW was to be with the love of my life, my wife. I’d die without her, my heart beats for no one but her. 

[callsigndragon]

You never asked | Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia

Summary: Mickey has a secret. He didn't want to hide it. It's just that nobody ever asked.

Pairing: Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia x fem!reader

Word count: 976

Warnings: fluff. domestic fluff. and i dont want to say anything more bc spoilers

A/N: So this is probably the beginning of many drabbles... Because i literally fell in love with Mickey Garcia, and I have the power to create all the content i want.

Tag list: @tayrae515 @alexxavicry @xoxabs88xox  @mercurio23 @shrimping-for-all @abaker74

(if you want to be tagged in everything TGM, let me know <3)

@purplevortexx this is the first appearance of our latina queen. Her time to shine has come.

Mickey Garcia had a big secret. Well, it wasn't a secret. Nobody had asked him if he was married. And he just didn't share that tiny detail. 

He loved his wife. More than words could ever express. They met in high school, she was the new member of Mickey's D&D club. Well, it wasn't his club. He was just a member, just like her when she joined. Mickey swears that when Y/N walked through the doors of that small, messy basement they used as a club, he knew. 

That was the girl he was going to marry. 

He asked her hand in marriage when his training period in the Naval Academy ended. She said yes. He laughed, she cried. 

Life was good. 

Every time Mickey was deployed, Mickey's grandma, Camila, took care of her. Abuelita Garcia had a room prepared for her nieta (granddaughter) and tried to feed her every time Y/N was a bit sad or missed Mickey. The wizzo loved that his family adored his wife as much as he did. And he also liked how Y/N's cheeks were a bit chubbier whenever he came back from deployment, due to the big amount of tamales that Camila made her eat. 

"Camila wants me to gain weight. She said I'm too thin, and I need to eat more, so I can be a good mom in the future," Y/N told Mickey in one of their FaceTime calls. 

"Amor, she literally told me that every day for the first 18 years of my life" he answered, chuckling at the thought of Camila filling his wife's plate with more tamales. 

"That's where the cute cheeks come from!" 

"I don't have cute cheeks" he whined. 

"Whatever you wanna say, babe" 

-

Mickey had missed his girls a lot during the uranium mission. He didn't want to bring Y/N with him, knowing that he was only going to be there for a few weeks, then he'll be back home. 

But now that the mission is over, and he is staying in this base for a while, he needs to tell the squad that he's married. 

He can imagine Phoenix's face already. 

"So, my dear buddies," says Rooster, setting down his beer. "I think it's time to know more about each other's lives. You know about my life already but… i don't know anything about you" 

"I mean, we only know about your life because this mission was more like a soap opera than a life-threatening experience" Bob jokes, grabbing more peanuts. 

"Bob, you're not as quiet and shy as I thought you'd be," Hangman comments, moving to play his turn at darts. Phoenix is trying to beat him, even though it's virtually impossible. 

"I never said I was. You just saw a guy with glasses and thought that he would be the average quiet kid that sits at the end of the class" the wizzo retorts. 

"Which you totally are," Phoenix affirms. 

"Hey!" 

Mickey smiles, knowing how much Y/N would love to be with these amazing aviators. She is such an amazing woman… Mickey can't wait for the squad to meet her. They keep talking and sharing parts of their lives, and just when it's Fanboy's turn to speak, a little, dark haired baby girl runs into the bar, looking around and trying to find the person she's been missing for weeks.

"DADDY!" the little girl yells, sprinting towards his father, her curls bouncing up and down at every step. 

Fanboy, recognizing the voice of his little girl, kneels down, opening his arms for his princess. Once she's secured in his dad's arms, Mickey gets up, looking at the dumbfounded aviators in front of him. 

"Did she just call you Daddy?" Coyote questions, looking between baby Garcia and Mickey. "You know what, don't answer. You're identical" 

"Yeah, nine months inside me, and she grows up to be her father's spitting image" Y/N says, appearing next to Fanboy. "She missed you so much that we had to come early" 

Mickey looks at his wife and then at his daughter, not surprised to hear that his pequeña princesa (little princess) couldn't wait more to see him. She is daddy's girl. 

"Mi princesa, ¿no pudiste esperar más?" (My princess couldn't wait longer?)

"Daddy, I missed you so much," the little girl pouts, looking at his father with the same big, dark brown eyes she had inherited from him. 

"Cam, amor, ¡sólo tenías que esperar dos días más!" (Cam, love, you only had to wait two more days!) 

"That was too much time," she protests. 

"Pendejo que no piensas saludar a tu abuela o qué," says a woman standing behind Y/N. The very same woman his daughter got her name from. (Idiot, are you not going to say hi to your grandma?)

"Oh my, abuela. I didn't see you there!" Explains Mickey, a bit scared of his grandma's reaction for not hugging her. It doesn't matter how much of a grown man Mickey is. He would always be a bit scared of his grandma. 

"Who are these people, hmm? And why are all of them so skinny! Look at this girl." Camila pinches Phoenix's cheek. "You have to eat more! I have tamales in the car, do you want some?" 

"Jesus, abuelita. Don't do that to my friend." 

"Payback, why aren't you fazed by this?" Hangman's words make the whole Garcia family laugh, just then moving to hug Cam and kiss her chubby cheeks. "I'm the godfather." 

"You mean to tell me that you knew that Fanboy is not only married, but a father, and you never shared any of that information with the rest?" Rooster exposes, feeling really, really betrayed. 

And as if Fanboy and Payback had rehearsed the answer for hours, they both say it at the same time. "You never asked!" 

[sunnyrealist]

Chapter 37: The First Fight

The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Summary and Details…

Chapter Background and Summary: Sebastian and Kate are on an adventurous camping trip in the Scottish Highlands. On the third day, the lovers explore a hidden cave. Attempting to feed off of their emotions, a horde of Dementors create an illusion depicting the couple's greatest fantasies and worst fears. When Sebastian passes out, Kate protects them both, getting them both to safety. When he wakes, they have a lot to unpack. Sebastian finally tells Kate more about his unimaginably horrific experiences in Azkaban and reveals his ever-present self-doubt. Kate's subsequent words of unwavering support, positivity, and adoration lift him from the depths of his sorrow, and it all results in intense lovemaking. Filled with happiness, Sebastian stupidly proposes without thinking; Kate tells him she wants to marry him but won't accept until he plans and does it right.

Pairing: 25-year-old, post-Azkaban Sebastian Sallow x Kate Mayflower (my OC)

Content warnings: In general, this story is rated 18+, so MNDI. This chapter features the couple's first argument, the hypothetical idea of parental disapproval, feelings of extremely low self-esteem, discussion of privilege and status, misunderstandings, and sharp, biting words.

The full chapter is available below the cut; it can also be found on AO3 (link is posted below). Please leave some feedback if possible. 🥰

Chapter 37: The First Fight

Kate and Sebastian finally stop chuckling about their newfound hatred for caves.

“I am rather excited to see the castle, though,” Kate tells him with a grin. "There's bound to be something interesting there if it's so inaccessible. Hopefully it will be safer, though. I think I've had enough danger for a lifetime." She laughs, but she's completely serious. "I've never been in a situation like that in all my life. I... Honestly, I never thought I would need to use anything I learned in Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts. Thank goodness for Professor Hecat being a great teacher. You know, she is such a fascinating person."

 Sebastian has a brief flash of guilt upon hearing the word safer. He and Kate could have died in the cave if not for her quick thinking. He should have been the one to protect her - and he has mixed feelings about the fact that his girlfriend had to be his protector. It’s obvious that she is still worried and shaken. 

He tries to shake those thoughts and kisses her shoulder gently, smiling as she mentions their old teacher. "You must have been a good student in her class, then?"

"I think I earned an Acceptable grade, so, no, not really. I was definitely not one of her star students. I was never a great duelist; no one would have recruited me for Crossed Wands, that illicit dueling club. It was such a poorly kept secret. A couple of my friends joined it - Lottie and Otty. They’re married now, living in America," Kate adds. "Anyway, I know the class wasn't only about dueling. Just like everyone else, I had to practice against a Boggart and learn the Patronus spell and other things." She furrows her brow as she realizes something. "Sebastian... you never learned the Patronus spell, did you? We didn't study that until sixth year... you would have… been in prison."

Sebastian shakes his head slowly. His face is unreadable for a moment before he speaks.

"I did not have the opportunity to learn the Patronus spell," he says quietly. "You're right. I was in prison for sixth year." He sighs. "Not only did they take my freedom and years of my life... but they robbed me of my education as well. That was one of the worst parts."

Kate rubs his back. "Considering how much you love to study and learn, to never have finished your schooling… That is truly a cruel punishment. I mean... of course you're a competent wizard," she notes quickly, hoping not to offend him. "You're more competent than most, really..." She looks up into his eyes. "You would have been a top NEWT student, based on what you've told me about school. It's a shame."

Sebastian's face remains serious but even more sad. He takes a deep breath, exhaling to shake off his melancholy. "I wish I had had the opportunity to finish my schooling," he remarks somberly this time. "But it is what it is. My life is so different than I expected."

Kate's eyebrows raise as she considers his wish. She wonders if, as a Hogwarts staff member, she could advocate for him to finish coursework somehow. She doesn't mention it, as she doesn't want to get his hopes up. She's never even heard of that happening, so it’s incredibly unlikely.

"There is one thing I will say. You may have never graduated, but you are a learned man. Honestly, you're one of the smartest people I know." She offers him a smile. "And you've experienced things that others never will. It's given you a perspective most will never be able to understand."

"You are correct. It has given me a view of the world and humanity that is truly unique. It has changed me in many ways," he admits, meeting her gaze once again. "But I cannot deny that it has hurt my pride, as a wizard. If I am being completely honest, it is something that makes me ashamed and embarrassed... and sometimes angry."

"I understand." Kate nods, looking down.

It’s been a day of misfortune, revelations, and tough conversations. There is still something weighing heavily on her mind, one that has been for quite some time now. It’s not going to make for pleasant conversation, but it eventually must be said, so Kate decides that it might as well happen today.

 "I have to be completely honest with you, Bash." There's a pause. "You know how much I love you. But... my family..." She takes a breath. "My family has really high standards. I... I don't know what they are going to think about your past." She takes a breath. "No one will change my mind about you, but... it worries me. I think they are going to be a challenge." She is afraid to meet his eyes. It's going to hurt him, but she has to tell him at some point. Her family is going to ask questions soon - potentially as soon as they return home after their trip.

Sebastian takes a sharp inhale and holds his breath as he processes her words. She's concerned that her family won't accept him, he gathers.

Now, it is her turn to see a flash of anger from him. He clenches his jaw tightly, his entire face hard. "My past," he says, his voice low and cold. "My past should not matter to them. And you know better than anyone that my past doesn't define me. You know who I am now..."

Kate tenses up even more upon seeing his expression and hearing his tone. Her own voice comes out a little squeaky. "O-Of course I know that, Sebastian..." She looks as though she is physically in pain. "But… my parents are going to find out about your past, and... though it doesn't define you, it is part of who you are today. If I don't tell them myself, they'll figure it out on their own. My mum is resourceful. She can find anything out if she puts her mind to it. She knows a lot of people. She's... she's really the obstacle, if I'm honest, Bash. I'm..." she hesitates. "I'm scared. I'm scared of what she'll think."

"Your mother shouldn't even know about my past before I tell her," he barks. "I should be the one to tell your parents... Not you." He looks as though he is struggling to remain in control, his anger seeping out of him in waves. "Is there even a part of you that believes me worthy of your trust and affection?" he growls. “That your parents will find me worthy?”

"Stop it," Kate snaps back, irritated. "You need to cool down. I'm on your side, not working against you." Her brows knit together. "I mean, Sebastian, consider their point of view. Someday, if we become parents, would you be thrilled by the prospect of our daughter marrying an Azkaban escapee who never even graduated from school?" She realizes she's getting heated, too, and takes a moment before she starts again. "I'm more upset about this than you know! You deserve family. If my family is awful about you, I would feel terrible, Sebastian. Terrible for you."

"Yeah, well, whatever," Sebastian replies, bitterness in his voice. "I am an Azkaban escapee, an uneducated dark wizard who only works for the DMLE because I was forced to become a double-agent. And I’m practically a gang member. You're right! I'm not a catch! Why would any parents want their daughter to be with a man who has done the things I have done?" His breath is getting faster now, his hand clenched and shaking with rage and adrenaline. "They'll despise me, and there will be nothing I can do about that. I'm just a lowlife loser, aren't I?!"

"No!" Kate protests. "No, of course not! Bash, please..."

"Face it, Kate," he says coldly. "Your parents are going to look down on me because of my past. Hell, even you are looking down on me right now!" There is a pause as he gathers his thoughts amidst the anger boiling inside. "You know they see everything from their angle of pureblood privilege. And I am pureblood, as if that even fucking matters, but I certainly don't fit into your family's world of status and wealth. I won't fit in. I won't be considered good enough for you!"

Kate begins tearing up silently, unable to speak. Her throat hurts, a sure sign she is going to cry. When she eventually feels the inevitable hot tears sliding down her face, she wipes them and shakily says, "I-I t-think we should take a minute to- to ourselves. I'll... get dinner ready. Please don't follow me."

Sebastian's heart shatters as he watches tears roll down her cheeks, her lips trembling. He's seen Kate cry before, but never like this. She's usually so confident, so collected, but here, in this moment, she is anything but.

Anger still smolders inside of him, but he knows it isn't really directed at her. He knows he needs to calm down. He needs to be better, but he just can't resist another mean comment. "Fine. Go. Be alone! Go cry or whatever it is that you need to do," he spits out, his voice tinged with bitterness.

Kate is mute as she puts her pink dress back on, struggling to tie the bow as her hands shake. Sebastian just observes, simmering and not offering to help. She takes one last look at him, then disappears down into her extendable bag to take some time to calm herself down and think.

He watches her leave with his fists clenched in a white-knuckled grip, tears burning in his eyes. Almost immediately, Sebastian wants to follow her and apologize. He wants to hug her, hold her, wipe her tears... but he just can't. Deep down, his pride is wounded. Is it his fault that she is crying? She always has it together, she is always strong, and here he has reduced her to tears with just a few words. His thoughts are a mix of anger, guilt, and regret as he gets up from the bed and dresses. He opens the tent flap and steps outside to get some air.

The moment Kate reaches the bottom of the ladder, she mutters a silencing charm and allows herself to let loose, sobbing. The situation just isn't fair to anyone, and she knows it's going to be difficult to convince her family about Sebastian's worth. Her mum is so judgmental, and her papa and sister will be concerned more than anything.When some time has passed, she finally begins to prepare for dinner. She'll have to face Sebastian sooner or later, and perhaps after some time and some food, they can have a more civil conversation.

[aparticularbandit]

I kind-of want to check out WandaVision thanks to On Toons and Magic. But I hear the MCU has a lot of complicated continuity and lore and stuff. So is there anything I need to know going in? Any other MCU media I should watch first? (I have randomly seen the first Avengers film and Thor and Iron Man 3 in my school's Film Club, but that was years ago.)

Mostly, if you want to see WandaVision, you need context!

Technically, you could see the other three Avengers films (and the last Captain America film), but that's...strictly speaking not necessary. Because I can provide context!

...because really you need Wanda's storyline and her relationship with Vision, and those aren't the major focus of anything she's in prior to WV, and you don't need to see entire movies to get those moments. (They are cute moments! I love them! They are VERY CUTE. But.)

SO. CONTEXT.

AGE OF ULTRON:

Wanda is from the wartorn country of Sokovia. When she and her twin brother were ten years old, a Stark bomb fell on their apartment, killing their parents immediately, and then they sat for days and waited for the bomb to explode and kill them, too! But it was a dud and did not kill them.

Years later, radicalized from these events and wanting revenge on Stark, they joined Hydra and were experimented on using what ended up being the Mind Stone. Wanda got some super cool magic powers that we got no specifics for (but she can read minds and implant visions and shoot blasts from her hands and also make shields), and her twin brother Pietro got super speed! (One of these things is not like the other.)

They join sides with a super robot who thinks he wants to save the world by killing all of humanity! Once they realize he wants to kill all of humanity, they switch sides! (As you do.) They help the evil super robot's new body get hijacked, and then it gets infused with the same Mind Stone that supposedly gave them powers AND BECOMES VISION. He is not an AI. He is wonderful. WE LOVE VISION. (We know we can trust him because he's worthy enough to lift Thor's hammer, and none of the other Avengers could do that! (Except for Steve who made it move a little bit and then backed down but that's not important.)

BIG EPIC SHOWDOWN IN SOKOVIA.

SOKOVIA GETS TURNED INTO A FLOATING CITY THAT WHEN IT CRASHES WILL DESTROY HUMANITY.

WANDA'S TWIN BROTHER DIES.

HER ENTIRE CITY EXPLODES. (After they evacuated everyone first.)

WANDA TRIED TO GO DOWN WITH THE CITY BUT VISION SAVED HER.

Wanda has been in exactly one movie and has lost her entire family WOO LET'S GO. (Technically she was in an end credits scene in Winter Solider but, like. if you wanna count that, you can, but.)

CIVIL WAR:

Wanda stays with the Avengers! To learn to control her powers! She joins them on one of their missions to Lagos, and when a suicide bomber tries to kill Steve in the middle of a crowd of civilians, she uses her magic shield powers to try and lift the bomb up into the sky away from people! But her powers falter and she ends up blowing up a building instead!

As a result, Tony locks her in Avengers Tower! Because she is a liability! And she's a ticking time bomb who could kill a bunch of people!

BUT Vision stays with her and cooks for her and it is very cute!

Then Hawkeye comes to break her out of house arrest because Steve wants her to help him fight Tony. She gets into a fight with Vision. She goes to help Steve. Everyone on Steve's side gets seen as breaking the law because of the Sokovian Accords (which was something to try and control when the Avengers could go help people because cities keep getting torn apart and destroyed when they try to help people, and like. it would have been worse if they hadn't gone to help people - this is kind of one of the main points of the movie, actually, but. only slightly important here).

EVERYONE WHO GETS CAUGHT GETS LOCKED AWAY ON THE RAFT. WHICH IS A HIGH DETENTION PRISON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN. WANDA GETS PUT IN A STRAITJACKET AND A BOMB COLLAR SO SHE CAN'T USE HER POWERS!

But it's okay because Steve breaks her out and then everyone has to live under the radar because they're all fugitives WOO.

INFINITY WAR:

So this guy named Thanos wants to collect the Infinity Stones so that he can balance out the universe by killing half of it because something something resources.

But no one on Earth knows about that because he's been looking out in space!

Wanda and Vision have been secretly meeting because she's a fugitive and he isn't but they are in TOTAL LOVE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER! THEY ARE VERY CUTE! They've been checking to see if their relationship will be okay! And it is! And Vision asks Wanda to run away with him so they can be together forever!

...and then he sees news footage of space people invading Earth and decides to go help him because Vision is a very innocent superhero who is definitely a hero, we love Vision, okay. But just as he starts to leave, more space people show up to attack him!

BECAUSE THE MIND STONE IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS FOREHEAD IS ONE OF THOSE INFINITY STONES THANOS IS AFTER.

But, like, Vision can't live without the Mind Stone.

Wanda fights for her man! He tries to protect her! He gets super hurt! Then some of the other fugitives show up and they all go to Wakanda because Wakanda is better at tech than Tony and Bruce are and maybe they can find a way to get the Infinity Stone out of Vision's head without killing him. (Meanwhile, Vision is like, Wanda. You got your powers from an Infinity Stone. You will be able to destroy it. And she's just, I'm not KILLING YOU, Vis. There is ANOTHER WAY. And you are going to LIVE. I think you see where this is going.)

The Wakandans CAN get the Mind Stone out of Vision's head without killing him, but it takes time! And the space people show up and there's a huge fight! And Wanda tries to stay to protect Vision, but her besties are in trouble, so she goes to help them! But this is a ploy so that the space people can attack Vision! So after saving her besties, Wanda goes to help Vision, and he pleads with her again to kill him by destroying the Mind Stone. And she says no. AGAIN.

And then Thanos shows up and there's no time, and Vision convinces Wanda to destroy the Mind Stone and kill him. Which she does. Which is a spectacularly painful moment, but it'll be okay because they saved the universe!

...except Thanos has a Time Stone and he rewinds time and brings back Vision and the Mind Stone and rips it out of Vision's head, effectively killing Vision a second time right in front of Wanda.

...and then he does the Snap and erases half of all life throughout the universe, which includes Wanda!

ENDGAME:

The Avengers collect the Stones through sketchy time travel shenanigans and reverse the Snap and bring everyone back and Wanda helps in the big battle, but because they only reversed the Snap, Vision is still dead! Woo!

SO TL;DR - what you need to know before starting WandaVision:

WANDA'S LIFE SUCKS. EVERYONE SHE LOVES KEEPS DYING. HER PARENTS. HER BROTHER. EVEN THE ACTUAL LOVE OF HER LIFE!

SHE HAD TO KILL VISION. AND THEN IT DIDN'T MATTER. AND THEN HE GOT KILLED IN FRONT OF HER AGAIN.

-slaps Wanda- THIS BABE CAN FIT SO MUCH TRAUMA!

....

And that's what you need to know before starting WandaVision!

Oh, also, Vision is still very much dead. He died. Very very dead.

Go forth and enjoy!

[harborpointeblvd]

I Watched Every GMMTV BL series part 4/?

2016/2017

2018

2019

If your favorite BL came out in 2020, you should probably scroll past this post now.

BTW, before anyone says it, I didn't forget The Shipper. I watched it and decided not to include it because I don't consider it BL. Body swap stories are not my cup of tea, but I thought it was pretty good. I enjoyed it more than any of the shows I'm about to talk about, at least.

Sorry in advance for writing a whole ass essay on a show no one watched.

2gether - 2020

When first year college student, Tine (Win Metawin) is relentlessly pursued by Green (Gun Korawit), he asks handsome and popular Sarawat (Bright Vachirawit) to be his fake boyfriend. I feel like I don’t need to explain any further. You’re familiar with the fake-dating plot.

Honestly, this plot was so nothing that I’m bored even trying to write about it. The series is thirteen episodes, but could’ve been condensed to, like, eight. I feel like people unfairly judge Jittirain works based on this one, because it's (I think) her most popular one. But it's an outlier, Vice Versa was good, dammit!

Why does his leg look like it's bending backwards like a flamingo?

Still 2gether - 2020

As the title suggests, Tine and Wat are still together. For five episodes. Although for two of those episodes, they are separated with no contact.

While 2gether The Series has barely any plot, Still 2gether has no plot at all. That being said, it’s only five episodes and the couples act more like couples this time, so it’s easier to watch than the first series.

I don't remember why I took this screenshot, but I'm sure I had something very witty to say.

My Gear and Your Gown - 2020

Disclaimer: I was not aware of any of any actor’s legal troubles before watching this series, so that did not factor into my viewing experience.

After returning from studying abroad in England, Pai (Pawin Thanik) starts his final year of high school as a new student. On his first day, he is rescued twice by the same mysterious boy. After being roped into becoming president of his academic club, he learns that they are about to lose their club room to their rival athletic club. His hero becomes his enemy when the rival club’s president, Itt (Marc Natarit), turns out to be the same boy who rescued Pai on his first day.

I’m not gonna lie, this show really had me going in the first half. It sort of dragged, but I was ready to give it a passing grade. And then it all fell apart. I feel played by this drama. The first half of this show is set during their final year of high school and the latter half takes place during their freshman year of college. The high school stuff is just your basic enemies-to-friends-to-secret-crush story, but it felt true to life. The college stuff makes no goddamn sense.

Some spoilers ahead.

The high school portion moves pretty slowly, but I liked the way the relationship developed. Initially, Pai is forced to tutor Itt, but as they grow closer, he begins to genuinely care about Itt’s future, and he continues to tutor him after he no longer has to. After they have their falling out, he continues helping Itt in secret, and despite being heartbroken, he is happy for Itt when he does well on his college entrance exams. It’s heartbreaking and bittersweet, but also strangely satisfying. That might just be a Me thing. I find it so gratifying in dramas when the person with a one-sided crush just…gives up. I'm pro giving up.

Then we see Pai in college, where he discovers that Itt has chosen to attend the same university. He tries to avoid him, but Itt just keeps showing up to harass Pai. He convinces Pai to join the university’s Moon contest by withholding an item that Pai lost in high school that holds sentimental value to him. You know, romance. Anyways, it’s revealed that Itt is actually doing all of this to push Pai out of his comfort zone so he can learn to speak up for himself. But, the thing is, it was not well established to begin with that Pai had any trouble speaking up for himself. The only time we see that is with his parents. He actually makes his boundaries very clear in most situations, in a way that’s impressively mature for his age. Like, when a guy he rejected asks to go to his dorm room, he's like, "When you only see me as a friend, I'll invite you in," and I was like, "Damn, good answer." The few times Pai and Itt fought in high school, it was always Pai reaching out to Itt and making every effort to explain himself and Itt ignoring him. Pai is not the one with communication issues, is what I'm saying. This whole thing feels like an excuse for Itt to harass Pai. And the fact that Itt continues to let Pai believe he hates him is just baffling. He has this “it has to be this way” attitude, but no, it absolutely does not, you’re just drama.

The most disappointing thing about it is that this is an unrequited love reversal, which is my FAVORITE romance plot trope, and they bungled it. They had the chance to do Flipped better than Theory of Love*, but instead we got whatever the fuck this is.

The two lead actors did fine for the most part, but seemed to struggle when it came to heavier emotional scenes. They’re kind of blown out of the water by Fiat and JJ, who play Itt’s best friend Pure and Pai’s best friend Waan, respectively. The two characters form a friendship with each other that seems more genuine than either of their friendships with the main characters. Waan dragging a depressed Pure to a clinic to get tested for STIs is peak best friend behavior.

TW for sexual assault. There is an attempted rape of one of the characters during the college portion of the series. It’s not the worst use of this trope I’ve seen. The perpetrator is not the love interest of the victim and it’s not used as a plot device to make a red flag love interest out to be a hero (See Tonhon Chonlatee below). The perpetrator is forgiven way too easily though. Is it so much to ask that BL shows treat rape like a crime?

*Just kidding, probably not.

Joke's on you, that only makes me want to do it more.

Tonhon Chonlatee - 2020

Chonlatee (Khaotung Thanawat) has had a secret crush on the older boy next door, Tonhon (Pod Suphakorn) since they were kids. He has vowed never to tell him, since Tonhon dates girls. But when Chonlatee gets into the same university, Tonhon insists on Chonlatee moving in with him, and his secret gets harder to keep.

There were things I liked about this show. The ongoing joke that it is very obvious to everyone but Tonhon that Chon is gay is funny for a while, as well as Tonhon being oblivious to the fact that his two roommates who he’s lived with for three years are in a relationship. I like pretty much all of their friends, especially Chon’s best friend Pong played by Ciize. Unfortunately, this show is badly written. I mean, like, REALLY bad.

Some spoilers beyond this point. And TW for sexual assault.

Pretty much every bad BL trope is in here. They made the rival love interest so much more likable than Tonhon. And this is a guy who congratulates people for meeting him, how is he more likable than your main love interest? Tonhon has to rescue Chon from being raped (by the same guy from Kiss Me Again, he should be concerned about how he’s being typecast). And of course, we have the queen of all lazy BL tropes: every villainous trait you can think of wrapped into one jealous ex-girlfriend, who is the source of literally every conflict. It’s so unnecessary, because there are already things in their lives that can cause drama without bringing in a queen bee villain, like Tonhon’s internalized homophobia or his homophobic dad. But, no, every catastrophic event is orchestrated by this one woman, including the attempted rape. In the end, everyone boos and throws garbage at her. Even the rapist tells her off, and also gets off with, like, no consequences. They magically solve the homophobic dad problem by promising to get a surrogate so Tonhon can produce an heir. Him constantly pressuring his kids to have babies is never seen as an issue, just the fact that he won’t let Tonhon date Chonlatee.

There’s a time skip scene at the end where all of the characters sit in a circle telling each other what is going on in their lives now. Just, like, telling each other things they should probably already know. "Tonhon's dad bought you a house because you agreed to carry their baby, so now you don't have to be a sex worker." What is even the point of a timeskip if we don’t even get to SEE them living their lives? And they’re already having a baby after THREE YEARS? Chon is still in school, are you fucking nuts?

And, really, Chon? Three years later, you still have that haircut, huh?

Soulmate - The One. Like he was created for me, specifically. Sugar Daddy - He may not have it all, but he knows how to spoil me. Friend With Benefits - Despite my better judgment, I went and caught feelings. Second Lead - All my friends love him, but I don’t feel the spark. Overeager Pursuer - Tries to be cute but just gets on my nerves. Vindictive Ex - It’s like he’s punishing me for knowing I could do better. Love Rival - Literally what did I do to deserve this? -

[daisiesconstellation]

We All Have Our Own Demons

Josh checked his watch, it was almost midnight.

He stared at his friends on the dance floor, still dancing under the blinding lights with no signs of getting tired anytime soon. They were in a club, celebrating Paulo's newly released song that he had worked on as a producer, which was a hit. Almost all of the people from their social circle came to celebrate together with them, so it was definitely crowded.

Stell and Justin were busy doing dance battle with spectators around them cheering loudly. It did make Josh giggle a little. On the other side of the room Paulo sat on a couch visibly wasted, clearly celebrating way too far.

Josh started to fidget on his seat. He really, really want to go home before midnight. Of course, he could just slip out of the club and go home right away, but-

"Are you not enjoying the party?"

Josh flinched. He was startled by the sudden baritone voice speaking next to his ear. A familiar baritone voice.

"Ken! Stop sneaking on people like that, I almost had a heart attack." Josh hit Ken's upper arm.

Ken chuckled. "You won't be startled if you're actually joining the party and not brooding here by yourself."

"I'm not brooding."

"Then what are you doing? Haunting this place, Count Dracula?" Ken said, poking Josh's red suit.

Josh narrowed his eyes. He forgot he was wearing his red suit which he wore on last year's Halloween party hosted by Stell. The suit was actually Stell's idea and he kept telling people at the party that Josh was dressed as a sexy vampire. Ugh, Josh could still feel the embarassment until now.

"Please stop with the vampire jokes, I hate it."

Ken raised his eyebrow, "But no one can deny that you look like a sexy vampire in this suit."

Josh blushed and averted his gaze to anything but Ken.

Josh knew Ken had the hots for him since their first meeting 3 years ago. Josh was an intern working at his current music production company when he met Ken, one of the music producers in the company. Ken was very adamant on flirting with Josh at every chance he got. Of course Josh denied all that for the sake of professionalism, but.. well, Josh couldn't deny that Ken was indeed a fine specimen of a man.

He tried not to fall in love, tried very hard.

"I hate vampires." Josh stated.

Ken laughed. "Why? You're scared of vampires?"

Josh nodded.

"There's no such thing as vampire, though. You shouldn't be afraid of something that do not exist." Ken shrugged.

"What do you mean by 'do not exist'? Supernatural beings are clearly real. There are lots of sightings and experiences about them. And I'm not shy to say that I'm scared of them" Josh shuddered.

Ken slided closer to Josh's side, their arms were touching. "So, you're scared of ghosts? Demons?" he smirked.

Josh ignored it. "Yes. Very much. And that's why I really need to get home as soon as possible. I hate to ride the elevator on my apartment alone. I'd rather sleep here than go there alone."

Josh checked his phone to see the time, and it was 00.43 AM. Well, fuck.

Josh searched the bar with his eyes for Justin. He was supposed to get back to his apartment with Justin before midnight since Justin's place was on the same way to Josh's.

When he finally found his younger friend, well, all Josh could say was he's fucked.

Justin passed out on one of the bar's high chair, slumped on the bar counter. Josh facepalmed himself and then went to Justin. He also could feel that Ken was following him.

"Damn it, Jah. You're really having fun, huh?" Josh said, ruffling Justin's damp hair. "Seems like I gotta spend the night at Stell's place again."

"I... don't think so, Josh." said Maverick, who had been sitting next to Justin the whole time. "Stell had already left with Paulo just minutes ago. I don't think you'd want to go to Stell's place." Mav smirked meaningfully.

"What?! They had left already? And, ew, gross." Josh frowned. "I'll get a taxi to Jah's place with him then."

Mav raised his finger, "Nuh-uh, not so fast. Early this evening he'd agreed to go to my place, I can show you the chats!" Mav said while searching his phone in his jeans pocket.

Josh cringed, "Y-you don't have to show the proof, oh God. Just promise me you will take care of him, or else..." Josh balled his fist and showed it to Mav's face.

Mav grimaced and nodded.

Josh knew about his best friend's situationship with Maverick, one of their artists, and he trusted him to handle his best friend.

Josh watched Mav took Justin away and realized that he was really fucked right now, both of his best friends were away with their respective partners and he was left all alone-

Damn it, he wasn't alone.

"Need a ride?" Ken grinned so wide that Josh wanted to punch those perfect smile off of his face.

"I'll get a cab, no thanks."

"But it's past midnight already. I'm pretty sure your apartment is so quiet right now, there are no people... you'd probably meet a ghost, though." Ken casually said.

Josh's face paled. "D-don't say that kinda things."

Ken shrugged his shoulders, "Well, it's up to you. I'm leaving." He walked to the exit door.

Josh mulled over Ken's words. Shit, he was right. There probably no one awake in his apartment at this hour. He gotta ride the damned elevator all the way to his floor, alone. And the last time he did it...

"Wait!" Josh ran after Ken towards the exit door.

Ken grinned. "Change your mind?"

"Shut up. If I weren't so afraid of that damned apartment I won't take your offer." Josh puffed his cheeks.

"This way, my prince." said Ken while motioning his hand towards where his car parked.

Josh starting to regret his decision, but nonetheless he followed Ken to the car.

[amy-s-king]

A Keto Success Story - Danielle’s Weight Loss Journey

Dannielle successfully lost 55 pounds in just 5 months when she embarked on the keto diet. She went on to lose another 25 pounds to reach her goal weight and two years later she has maintained that weight. In 2021 Dannielle’s weight exceeded 250 pounds, she was shocked and utterly devasted when she weighed herself in the New Year. After years of unsuccessful attempts to lose weight, she was miserable and seriously considering surgery. But then by chance she spoke to someone who recommended the keto diet and she decided to give it a go. It was her last chance before going under the knife.

There are several reasons why I want to share Dannielle’s weight loss journey with you today.

Inspiration:     Dannielle is an inspiration for so many people who struggle with weight     loss. Her success story can provide hope and motivation for others who are     also trying to lose weight.

Information:     After speaking with Dannielle, I can share with you all the diet and     exercise plan she followed, as well as the challenges she faced and how she     overcame them. This information can be helpful for those who are     considering trying the keto diet or are looking for a new weight loss     plan.

Personal     Experience: Dannielle’s weight loss journey is a personal experience     that many of you can relate to. Her story can help others understand that     weight loss is not easy, but with hard work, determination, and the right     plan, it is possible.

Relevance:     The topic of weight loss is relevant for so many of us, especially in     today's fast paced society where obesity is a growing problem. Dannielle’s     story provides a practical solution for those looking to lose weight in a     healthy way.

Human     Interest: Hearing from someone who has successfully lost a significant     amount of weight and has kept it off can be fascinating and relatable. It     is a great way to connect with others in a similar situation and give them     a personal insight into a weight loss success story.

Initially the keto diet was recommended to Danielle by a friend from an online diet club who had achieved amazing results. Alongside the plan, Dannielle started gentle exercises, first just by walking short distances. She eventually joined a gym and goes five days a week, still walking on the weekends. Dannielle is keen to share her weight loss journey and the key to her success to encourage others towards a healthier lifestyle.

Me: Danielle, can you tell us about your weight loss journey?

Danielle: Sure, in January of 2021 I was over 250 pounds, and I knew I needed to do something about it. I was miserable, I had tried different diets in the past, but nothing seemed to work. I would start off with good intentions, lose 10 or 15 pounds but I always caved and went back to my old ways. I was desperate and considering surgery but then a fellow dieter from an online group I was part of during lockdown recommended the keto diet to me and I decided to give it just one last try.

Me: And what happened when you started following the keto diet?

Dannielle: I lost 25 pounds in the first two months. It was a big shock to me but at the same time it really motivated me to keep going. I lost a further 30 pounds within six months of following the plan. I felt better than I had in years, I had more confidence, I felt great.

Me: Can you tell us about the exercise aspect of your weight loss journey?

Dannielle: I started out by just walking short distances as exercise was a real struggle for me. Slowly my fitness level improved, I was enjoying walking for the first time in years. Eventually I felt confident enough to join a gym. I go four or five days a week and still walk on the weekends. I’ve never had any confidence in my physical abilities before, but now I feel stronger than I ever thought I could be. I surprise myself when I say this out loud, but I can jog now, do squats, push-ups and I’ve even mastered a plank. These small victories have been really empowering for me.

Me: How has your weight loss journey changed your life?

Dannielle: It's changed my life in so many ways. I feel healthier, I have more energy, I’ve gained a confidence I never knew I had. I'm just overall a happy person now. I have gone on to lose another 25 pounds. Two years ago, I was a size 20 and now I slip easily into a size 12. I could not be happier. And the best part is that I did it on my own, without surgery (although encouragement and support from family, friends really helped). I'm so proud of what I've accomplished.

Me: So, Danielle, can you tell us more about the specific keto diet you followed and what made it different from other diets you had tried in the past?

Dannielle: The keto diet is all about high-fat, moderate protein and low-carbohydrates. I gave up all processed foods and sugar which was difficult at first. But once I started seeing results it became easier to stick to it. The diet also allowed me to eat foods like bacon, cheese and avocado which I never thought I'd be able to eat while dieting. I have a sweet tooth, but I was still able to enjoy desserts on the Keto diet, so I wasn’t experiencing sugar cravings which was my usual problem with other diets. I think what made this diet different from others was that it was sustainable for me. I didn't feel like I was constantly depriving myself of certain foods or that I couldn't have a cheat day.

Me: How has your relationship with food changed since losing weight?

Dannielle: Food was a source of comfort for the old me. I would turn to it when I was feeling stressed or emotional. Now, I have a completely different perspective on food and have learnt to make better choices. I see it as fuel for my body. I take the time to plan my meals and make sure I'm getting the nutrients I need. And when I do have something indulgent, it's a conscious choice, not an emotional one.

Me: What advice would you give to someone who is looking to try the keto diet?

Dannielle: I would say, first and foremost, think of it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet and you won’t want to give up. I always thought of losing weight as a battle and food always won. I love my new lifestyle, to get here I went on a journey which wasn’t always easy, but I found keto, and I stuck to my meal plan, and it worked for me. I would say to anyone, never give up, find a plan that works for you and your lifestyle. And don't be afraid to ask for support, whether it's from a friend, a family member or a professional. Try to start including exercise in your daily routine.  It's not only important for weight loss but also for overall health. And lastly, be kind to yourself, be patient and don't compare yourself to others. Every journey is different.

With this easy-to-follow plan, you'll be on your way to your ideal weight in no time! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

[humdelhi]

“My first video that went viral didn’t even carry my name. It was a stand-up act on Nokia's ‘patli pin wala charger’ and iPhone’s so-called capabilities. It was circulating across the country through WhatApp forwards and I had no clue about it. I realised how popular it had become much later when a person called me and said, ‘Sir kitne mahino se dhundh raha hu apko. Apka video dekha thha magar naam nahi thha uspe. Humare office mein bhi aakar perform kariye please.’ That was a pivotal moment for me. Until a couple of years before that day, I couldn’t have imagined in my wildest of dreams that I’d end up becoming a stand-up comedian.

I grew up in a middle-class family in Delhi that witnessed a transition from Bajaj Chetak to Hero Splendor to a Maruti 800. I was a typical 90s kid who collected Center Fresh cricket cards and played with Lays tazos. I was also quite good in academics and often topped the government school that I used to go to. And hence, I had an ambition to study at an IIT. I tried twice but couldn’t make it. I had the option to join an NIT, but decided to study engineering at a college within the city for the love of Delhi.

Having studied in a government school all my life, I had never gotten a chance to develop other skills or interests. I felt a little like an outsider when I hung out with the ‘cool kids’ of my college. So I started reading a few books like '7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ and 'Rich Dad Poor Dad’, which helped me understand the world around me better. However, I wanted to do something more hands-on, and told my elder brother about it. He recommended joining ‘Toastmasters Club’ to brush up my public speaking skills. When I first went up on stage, I was nervous, shivering from head to toe, and my mind went blank. I didn’t like it, but decided to continue because I used to take my brother’s advice seriously. I practised a lot and slowly started to get better at public speaking. I became a regular member of the club and also began enjoying the feeling of being on stage. In fact, some club members told me that I was funny, so I started putting more jokes in my speeches and made them hilarious.

I used to watch Russell Peters and Rivaldo at that time. Their comedy was more verbal and opinion-based. This was a refreshing change from character and situation based comedy that we had grown up watching. I realised that I could pursue this form of comedy. I was about to finish college then and had a job offer in hand. However, my elder brothers were working and that acted as a safety net for me. So, I decided to try out a full-time career in comedy. My first performance at a stand-up comedy event won me the second position and two thousand rupees. This was followed by a small gig at a mall that got me three thousand bucks. While the pay wasn’t much, the feeling of going up on the stage and talking to an audience who listens to you and laughs with you was surreal. Eventually, the Nokia/iPhone video went viral and it has luckily been an upward journey from there.

But growth and change are continuous processes ‒ now, I’m adjusting to the system of online shows in the Covidian era. While the experience of doing live shows is incomparable, virtual shows have their perks too. It’s a different feeling to see an audience that is watching my show in their pyjamas. I get a chance to engage with people from so many cities at the same time, and they really seem to enjoy it. I know a person who joins the show early to provide some unsolicited advice on adjusting the lights. Recently, an engaged couple joined my online show separately from their own homes as a way to spend time together. Things like these warm my heart and have made me closer to my audience than ever before.”

[brownsugar-dreams]

Advice for black girls entering their first year of College? I am majoring in something that is dominated by men.

Hey love, congrats on starting your first year! I actually just recorded an episode about my experience in higher education this past year. These crazy people were trying to get me to REPEAT THE ENTIRE YEAR. Meaning start over from the beginning, pay again, do the whole first year of med school again! I was like not this black girl. It’s really important as black women that we familiarize ourselves with the school policy (this goes for professional/corporate environments and places of employment too). Know your rights. It’s the only thing that can protect you when an establishment tries to play in your face. Here’s a summary of what’s in the episode/advice for you:

We need to be vocal and knowledgeable about what we say, especially when dealing with administration/faculty because these people will not give af about you if you don’t speak up for yourself. Find your voice because you will absolutely need it at some point. You have to advocate for yourself because they have no problem letting you become a statistic if you don’t.

Align yourself with faculty/staff that seem reasonable and can advocate for you should you ever need it. This was one of the most essential things I did to get myself out of this shit.

Join advocacy/support groups/clubs. It really helps to create networks and contacts of support. I am co-chair of our student wellness and resiliency center. Getting involved is a good way to make yourself known and can come as a major asset when you need letters of recommendations or research/internship/etc. opportunities. Also helps to connect with other black women students in your city. You’ll be able to vent and talk about things that only you as black women will understand. It’s important to have a group of people you can confide in.

Fake it til you make it. Eliminate self doubt/doubt about your abilities and remember your power. Affirmations really help with building confidence. These people expect you to doubt yourself, don’t give them that satisfaction. Try to push yourself a little each day. If you’re shy/nervous about public speaking, start with speaking up in smaller group until you get comfy giving presentations. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

Give yourself time off! Try to incorporate a little bit of self care daily. This doesn’t have to be hours of pampering at a time. Stretching, candle work, aromatherapy while you study, dance study breaks, are a few things you can do. Make sure to take nights off from studying every once in a while too. My counselor said that 1 night a week off is doable.

Find a mentor. Seriously this is so important. Not just any mentor, someone who you can connect with. Reach out to people at your school that are where you want to be. Don’t be discouraged by not hearing back. The professional world is very busy and most times people aren’t ignoring you purposely. Don’t be afraid to send a follow up email. You really need to build that armor of confidence because you’ll meet people along the way who will try to tear you down or don’t believe. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks, the only opinion that matters is yours and you know you worked damn hard to get to where you are so act like it! Don’t let anyone bully you out of your place.

You’ll do amazing, good luck on this next chapter ✨

[sandbees]

A few about the Great Seven interacting with Twisted Wonderland characters VIA Yuu. 👀 I only have one word summary; Chaos.

Who would meet the Great Seven first? Obviously the first years (along with Ortho and Grim). They’re Yuu’s best friends after all.

Actually, it was Friday, the last day of the week. And coincidentally, that night would be a special night at the House of Mouse. Ariel and her sisters would be performing that night.

Mickey told Yuu that that they could invite anyone to watch the performance. So Yuu went to get special permission to take their friends along with them.

After kidnapping Ortho After Yuu gathers everyone, they explain that they’re going out to see a special performance at their workplace.

Keep in mind that no one knows exactly what Yuu’s new job was except Grim and Crowley. So naturally everyone was in on it and curious. (Only Grim knows about Yuu meeting the Great Seven though)

Ace: So where do you work at?

Yuu: I work at a club.

Epel: ...As in a strip club or a book club?

Yuu: Wtf Epel? It’s like a club but no alcohol. It’s technically a restaurant but they have live shows and put on a lot of performances so-

Deuce: Oh! That’s cool, we get to see it together!

Yuu: Actually I’m not going to be with you guys. I’m on duty that day so I’ll be waiting tables. But I’ll join during break.

Ace: Really? Bummer.

Ortho: Aw, I wanted to hang out with you too! But it will be fun nonetheless. :D

Yuu tells them to wait downstairs as they go upstairs to get everything ready.

They are low-key nervous, because the House of Mouse isn’t...exactly normal by Twisted Wonderland standards.

Meanwhile, Grim was telling the first years about Yuu’s experiences there.

Grim: You know, the House of Mouse is really popular, I’ve heard about a lot of customers Yuu has met.

Deuce: This job must have been hard...I’m glad Yuu got it though!

Grim: Yeah, they pay them 5,000 madol! Isn’t that great?!

Sebek: 5,000 madol?! That’s a lot more than being a waiter.

Ace: In a week? I mean having a salary of 5,000 is pretty impressive.

Grim: Hehe, it’s actually 5,000 a day.

First Years: WHAT?!

Jack: To be able to pay that much...the owner must be wealthy.

Epel: Yuu lucked out!

When Yuu comes down, the first years are asking a billion questions.

How did you find a job with such a high pay??? Is the work good?? Is your boss nice to you?? Explain everything-

Yuu assured them that their job is just waiting a bunch of tables, and that they’re payed well because the place is very popular.

Anyways, Yuu tells them that they’re going now and leads them upstairs.

“Shouldn’t we be going to the hall of mirrors-?” “It won’t work.”

The group kind of loses their mind as Yuu casually pushes Ace into their mirror, Grim follows behind.

“Come on, or do I have to push you through the mirror like I did with Ace?”

Safe to say is that they go through the mirror and are greeted with a very lavish dressing room.

“Wait woah this isn’t Mickey’s dressing room.”

Yuu finds a note and read it out loud. Apparently Mickey moved the mirror to a new room so they could have privacy. Anything in the room is for their use.

“I’m going to cry. He’s so nICE I DON’T DESERVE THIS-“

Yuu is pretty happy with this arrangement, actually. They also begin to explain the club’s shtick to their friends.

“So this is basically a club for entertainment with live shows and also cartoons on the screen. Oh, and sometimes a cat named Pete tries to sabotage the show so he can kick everyone out and make this his club.” “Isn’t that illegal-“ “Not if there’s no police.”

So anyways Yuu leads them outside and they run into Goofy.

Sebek: Is that-?

Yuu: Hi Goofy, I’m bringing my friends to a table for the show-

Goofy: Yuu! There you are! You’re needed at table 14.

Yuu: What? But my shift hasn’t started-

Goofy: Reservations from Hades himself.

Yuu: Oh shit, ok yeah I’ll be there as soon as possible-

Ortho: Hades? As in the God of the Underworld?

Yuu: Yes, I’ll explain later, more importantly let’s go find you a table.

Ace: I think not telling us you actually met one of the GREAT SEVEN!

Yuu: I did tell you; and you didn’t believe me.

Everyone is vibrating in nervousness and excitement. Especially Ortho. I mean, this is the GREAT SEVEN we’re talking about!

Yuu decides to introduce them to Hades. But surprise surprise, it’s all of the Great Seven!

Yuu’s first year friends are going to pass out from shock. Oof.

With some inquiry, Yuu explains to the Great Seven that the friends they brought were from Twisted Wonderland.

Let’s just say that the First Years got invited to sit at their table. (Sebek is quaking at the idea of sitting with the Witch of Thorns)

So while Yuu leaves to start work (not after taking all of their orders first, of course), the Great Seven begin asking the first years + Grim questions.

The first years are expectantly tense, but they loosen up.

Ursula and Jafar are a little disappointed that no one from their dorm is present, but they seem to easily forget that after Yuu tells them that they know people from their respective dorms anyways.

Yuu also gives them a little more information they found about their respective dorms, so that they don’t feel...left out? (Satisfied is a better word for it)

Ursula pets Grim and Jafar feeds him crackers. Grim does not complain, he’s fine. He becomes more compliant as his tuna arrives.

And some of the other’s thoughts? Well...

The Queen of Hearts almost blew up in anger at Ace and Deuce. They are idiots that do nOT KNOW THE PROPER WAY TO SPEAK TO THEIR SUPERIORS AND THEY HAVE BROKEN AT LEAST 359 RULES ALREADY-

But somehow, the Queen of Hearts warms up to the idiotic duo. She sees them as...annoying children she has to babysit but they’re also really adorable that she can’t stay mad at them forever. Plus, Deuce is trying and Ace has these wonderful card tricks that would make her Jester cry.

So at first, she does not approve, but as the night progresses she does. 8/10 would meet the ADeuce combo again.

Scar and Jack...hm. Well, I don’t think they’d get along of Scar’s sense of morality and justice of the past was brought up. However, the villains all agreed to not bring up their villainous past because they didn’t want to scare away Yuu/make them wary and distrustful of them. Same goes for the first years.

Anyways, Scar is impressed at how buff Jack is. He isn’t surprised though - he expected residents of his dorm to be powerful. Scar lays down some well deserved praise and Jack eats it up with a tail wag. Jack also talks about his dorm and what the dorm represents. Scar’s ego rises 100x and Scar becomes somewhat...egotistical. Well, maybe not like in a “I’m shoving my ego in your face” type of ego but in a “This pleases me and I will treat you kinder” ego.

Basically, Scar opens up a little more to Jack as the night progresses. Like a mentor/student bond.

The Evil Queen and Epel...well, the Evil Queen was quite picky with how Epel was acting. Yes, he had the proper posture but really, he was using the wrong forks to eat that particular kind of food. She expected better from someone who came from her dorm. So she ended up chastising him and scolding him for being “improper”. Like Vil.

She was shocked to say when Epel accidentally snapped back at her, before returning to his more “princely” persona. Ah, so the child had more than meets the eye. She tried a different approach, as in trying to ease Epel into talking to her. Certainly, Epel was much more headstrong and willful than that naive Snow White.

So, the Evil Queen and Epel have a rocky start, but by the end of the show.

Hades and Ortho...well, that’s a combo you never see everyday. But I think Hades would basically adopt Ortho. As in suddenly he gets father vibes from the kid. He’s also particularly interested in his own dorm, and asks Ortho about it. Ortho’s pretty chatty with Hades, and is happy to tell Hades about his dorm! He also asks a few questions himself; which Hades happily obliged to.

...and then it turns into Ortho talking about Idia and how wonderful he is. And Hades is like, “damn, this kid has a wonderful big brother. How come my younger siblings act like shit to me-“

So Hades silently swore to the River of Styx to keep this child safe, and Ortho had a fun time interacting with Hades!

Sebek and Maleficent...well, it could have been worse.

Poor Sebek was tense and tight lipped for most of the night. He really wanted to make a good impression on Malleus’ grandmother. (I don’t think Sebek has met Maleficent yet so-)

Maleficent was patient, however. She knew Fae kind were raised to think of Maleficent as a high authority figure that should be treated with upmost respect. Unlike the other kingdoms; the Valley of Thorns praised Maleficent like a goddess. She didn’t blame Sebek for acting like he was.

So she started with baby steps. Talking about how wonderful it was to meet her grandson’s bodyguard, how Malleus must have grown to be a strong magician, how she wished she had stayed to know more about her grandson.

Actually, the breaking point between the tense atmosphere between the two was Malleus. Sebek opens up a little more as he continues to talk to Maleficent.

At the end of the night, they’ve only talked about Malleus, but Maleficent was content with that. After all, keeping up with what her grandson was doing was more than enough.

By the end of the night, the First Years enjoyed the special performance and their time with the Great Seven. Things went well especially when Yuu came to join during their break.

So when it was time to go, everyone had happily said their goodbyes as they were ready to return.

“Oh, before I forget...Yuu, I have almost completed the portals for the others so do expect one of us to pop in soon.” “Oh, ok!” “...THEY MIGHT VISIT US?!”

Everyone is low key excited to meet again though.

So, the first years go through the mirror and stay at Ramshackle, chatting away at their time at the House of Mouse.

_=_

Yeah, this was a looonngg write, I’m actually going to do the rest of the TW cast in another post. I hope you enjoyed this one! :)

[boncorner]

Character Analysis: High School Karamatsu

So I've been thinking about baby Karamatsu, and once again Osomatsu-san does so much with the motto "Show, don't tell" when it comes to this boy. I saw a tag on one of my pictures saying that if teen!Karamatsu's only trait that gets recognised is his crying they feel bad for him, and I can't agree more on that!! I'll joke about it sure, but let's actually talk about what we find out about Karamatsu's teen years.

First of all I wanna address the episode 23 from season 3, "Friend", before we deep-dive into the movie.

"Friend"

In this episode we get to see all of the characters' personalities re-told from Choromatsu's POV. And you know how Choromatsu tends to see his brothers a bit... Exaggeratedly. Just see "Karamatsu and Brothers", where he does impressions of the others, and Karamatsu doesn't even understand who he's trying to be, because he sees his brothers in a much more gentle way than Choromatsu does.

So when Choromatsu thinks of Todomatsu, he's super tiny

And he establishes himself as an unreliable narrator at the end, where he

When he thinks of Ichimatsu, his voice is high pitched much unlike the movie, and his shift into depression-mode is much faster too

[spoilers]

Admits to not even having a friend, he was completely made up.

[spoilers end]

So I bring this up of course, because Karamatsu is described as a scaredy-cat who can't even handle holding a conversation. I'm not saying this is necessarily false, but...

Maybe it's a little more toned down than this. After all, he seems to be very low-key in the movie.

Confidence

Karamatsu's confidence, or rather, his lack of one, has been confirmed by word of God before. Literally.

And it's interesting that it has almost never been stated outright, save for the earlier mentioned episode "Karamatsu and Brothers", where Choromatsu calls him out. Otherwise it's always been a "show don't tell" with him, it can actually be difficult to glean this from his character if you don't know what you're looking for. After all, he's called a narcissist over and over, he's so full of himself all the time! But is he really? I've said this over and over, but this "act" is most likely just him trying to be true to himself and feel good about himself, so it's not necessarily a false picture of himself, but more an exaggerated one that he hopes will boost that poor confidence of his.

Remember how he was in drama club? We'll get back to that so let's put a pin in it for now 📍

What we see

In the movie, Karamatsu is the person that we see the least of what he is like in the company of others, but at the same time, the entire movie is revolving around him. This is his memory, his regret, and ultimately, it's about him getting closure. But even so, we don't ever "learn" what he was like in the same way that we do the others. We don't get funny scenes or examples, but again, everything is unsaid. Shown to us, but never explained. You just have to fill in the blanks yourself.

Yes. He does cry a lot.

It's not something that Karamatsu would subconsciously hide in his memory world. So in a fair observation, we can determine that Karamatsu was indeed a crybaby and easily startled, anxious, and generally unsociable.

We also see this in official art

Karamatsu has for a long time been pointed out to be a crybaby when he was little, because he generally used to be one in Osomatsu-kun. This solidifies this claim, and so I believe his reaction to the whole incident at school where they all fell apart went like this:

• He loses his support network - He is suddenly left to fend for himself, his already frail nature grew, and his social anxiety really took off. Getting teary-eyed or outright crying from even just the littlest thing when you're at your lowest is part of the anxiety-experience, most of us know this. It's not the same for everyone, but it's safe to say that his anxiety was pretty damn bad.

• Isolation - Not knowing how to break out of his shell and attempt to become his own person like his brothers do, he can't let go of what they had, and he feels himself slipping away. He doesn't know how to speak to them all, nor anybody else when he doesn't have his brothers by his side. So it's safe to assume that he had exactly 0 friends back then.

• Sense of hopelessness - We often see Karamatsu staring out into the air, reflecting on his situation, but he never actually does anything about it. And when he tries to, he actually fails. Despite his confidence being nearly non-existent, he still managed to ask them all to meet him to talk about the letter, and I think that does say something about him.

• He still loves his brothers - Again, despite everything, he managed to gather them all together, because his brothers mean everything to him. He just can't let go of them, and that's also why he just can't think of doing anything without them. That's why he doesn't try to become somebody else, or try to impress others. That stuff doesn't matter.

• Then he snaps - He has enough of it, and ends up snapping at his brothers, causing their fight to escalate.

Acting

I will never get enough of baby Karamatsu acting. Ever.

Anyway - We all knew he was in drama club when he was younger, and this is the one thing that we see him actually do to explore his interests. And it's strange isn't it, how somebody so socially anxious would decide to join drama club of all things... Unless it's because he wanted to reinvent himself.

Again, we don't see him do it during the movie's runtime, we only see the others, but we do see this in the credits. Doing a show, don't tell, so that we can figure out ourselves why he would suddenly do something like that. He wanted to build up his confidence, or maybe even pretend to be somebody else for a moment. However it is clear that he never got a chance to actually try this out until he got older, and he managed to sort out his anxiety somewhat.

Do you roleplay? It can be nice to get out of your own shoes for a spell and be somebody else, take a break from real life and play somebody completely different from yourself, or maybe even somebody who is quite a lot like you, but you get to decide what happens in their life. You might even get to experience things that you normally never would have gotten the chance to do.

High school Karamatsu is a deeply complex character, and there's a lot more to him than meets the eye. You just don't get it handed to you, you need to be observant, just like with him when he's older, when it's all an act.

[erika-being-erika]

More levihan reccomendations!

Part 1

• One Last Time by PiercingThePage

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Levi & Hanji have been dating for about 3 years in highschool. He starts to have feelings for one of the pretty girls names Petra Ral. After he starts cheating on Hanji with her, he decides he wants out of the relationship. Until the day he decides to tell her, ends up being the day she tells him that she's pregnant. Will they make it out well, or will Levi start to realize he is becoming his own dead beat dad

• Having My Baby by Countess_Dorkula

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Another SNK Kink Meme fill. Follow Levi and Hanji as they go through the marvelous adventure towards parenthood.

• catch me if you can by fanmoose12

[Multi-chapter || on going]

Summary:

The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn't deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman's cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn't help but feel something close to fascination.

No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.

Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

• Partners by fanmoose12

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

When Petra was promoted to a detective and partnered up with legendary Levi Ackerman, she felt like the happiest person in the world.

But, as she soon found out, detective Ackerman she used to admire so much was actually a far cry from the ideal policeman Petra thought he was. He was rude, harsh and easily annoyed.

And, in addition, he still hadn’t moved on from the death of his previous partner - detective Hange Zoe.

• can't keep my hands off you by fanmoose12

[Multi-chap || completed]

Summary:

Hange, Levi and their not so secret relationship.

• Looking for You by fanmoose12

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Returning from a long mission, all Levi wanted was to spend sometime with Hange. But instead he got a message from Erwin, urging him to come to HQ. There he found out, that Hange was missing for over a week and that his new mission is to partner with Moblit, Hange's loyal assistant, and together find and bring Hange home.

• A Tale of Two Slaves by TundrainAfrica

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

"Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn't exist. Everything's a choice. And Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him."

Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn't.

• Free-Falling by djmarinizela

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Skydiver and tea shop owner Levi Ackerman meets the town’s resident mad scientist and tries to convince himself that he's not falling for her.

• All of Me by MannaTea

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

By the time they reached the trees, Sylvia's sides were heaving, her flanks covered in sweat-foam, but they couldn't afford to stop; two titans had become more. Hange refused to look behind her, but she could tell by the way the ground shook that one of them was at least a 13-meter class.

And all she had with her was one blade and a horse who was about to drop dead of exhaustion.1

• Dreams May Not Come True by MannaTea

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Levihan. Hange knows something is wrong when she goes down to breakfast one morning and the smell makes her stomach churn.

• Something Like Destiny by MannaTea

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Reincarnation AU. Zoë doesn't have dreams; she just knows.

• A Dangerous Game by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

A snk 1920′s AU:

Sina is wild, crowded, bursting with industry. Home to jazz, fashion - and corruption. Crooked politicians, dirty police, and powerful gangs have turned the city into a cesspit of violence where the powerful rule. At the center of the chaos are the Ackermans - one of the most powerful gangs in the city, Mayor Fritz - who is as corrupt as he is wealthy, Erwin - a police commander determined to weed out the corruption in his own department, and Hanji - a journalist willing to risk everything to expose their city’s darkest secrets.

• A Simple Choice by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

The rain had started up again. Fat droplets drummed over her hood, drenching the fabric. Her horse’s reins were wet and cold; though her fingers, numbed from continued exposure to the elements, could hardly feel them.

Following the sound of the explosion, they’d arrived at a clearing. It was a mess of blackened, shattered wood, and the wagon, a skeleton, was little more than a smoking husk. Beyond the wreckage, a titan lay prostrate. Felled, its limp, hulking form was barely visible through the rain.

As soldiers shouted, pointing at the creature, one of the horses still tethered to the ruined wagon, writhed. When the beast screamed a broken, panicked wail, her own horse shifted, flanks twitching with unease.

Hanji barely noticed.

The soldiers' voices, the poor beast’s screams, even the heavy, even thrum of rain - had silenced as she looked to the river.

A body lay at the edge of the dark, white-capped water.

• License to Science (And Kill) by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

When International criminal organization, TITAN, successfully steals an arsenal of missiles along with their encrypted launch codes, Code Blue is initiated. It up to Agent Levi Ackerman, a spy in a class of his own, and Research scientist Hanji Zoe, the premiere authority on the organization, to halt a global catastrophe in its tracks.

She lowered her glasses, brown eyes blinking over the rims. “Does this mean I have a-” One brow lifted. “License to Science?”

“No. But I do have a License to Kill. Don’t tempt me to use it.”

• Aftermath by just_quintessentially_me

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Levi rushes to the wall in the aftermath of the Armored and Colossal Titans' attack.

“Are you worried about your wife?”

The question shocked him out of his musings.

Levi looked up, “My what?”

But the pastor was already speaking, “You’re obviously beside yourself with stress – and it’s understandable. Not knowing if your wife has survived-”

Levi cut him off, “My what?”

The pastor hesitated, apparently realizing he’d made some mistake, but misunderstanding precisely what it was. “Your…wife? The woman we traveled with before? She’s ah – forceful. You two uh – have the same, er – strident personality. When we first met, she dangled me off the wall.”

• Terrible Things by someonestolemyshoes

[One-shot]

Summary:

The first time he tells her she’s pretty, Hange is all kinds of filthy - sweaty, dirty, twigs in her hair and mud on her shoes and a great big disgusting ball of everything Levi hates.

She is also crying.

It isn’t like he’s never seen her cry before - they’re nine and crying is just what kids do, especially kids like Hange who like to play with things they probably shouldn’t play with and like to climb trees even though they’re kind of clumsy and so the crying, in it’s self, isn’t all that weird.

What’s weird is that Hange - Hange, with her print-smudged glasses and ratty ponytail and clothes two sizes too big for her - is crying because a boy called her ugly.

• Acquiescence by 3LevisInATrenchcoat

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

On Judgement Day, the tide brought someone strange.

• My soulmate by a_golden_hearted_snk_fan

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

When your soulmate gets injured or hurt, their injuries show up on your skin with a slight sting then slowly fade. It was a rare thing to occur, but Levi and Hanji were the lucky ones.

• SOS by djmarinizela

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Levi is a reclusive senior student who shares an apartment with Mike, Nanaba, and his best friend, Hange, who he's secretly in love with. Oddly enough, they also belong to the same secret club with a special operations squad. The 104th cohort is a bunch of freshmen misfits they've taken under their wing, Moblit is Hange's lab partner also vying for her affections, while Erwin’s the newest instructor who doesn’t know how to teach. And they say school is fun.

• the moon is dark by alteirkay

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

His face was wet.

“What the hell?” He murmured touching his face to see if he was mistaken. He was not. His hair was damp with sweat. There was an uneasiness invading his whole body. He was filled with it like he had drunk it straight from a bottle. His chest was heavy, his breaths were uneven, and his right eye was throbbing like a hammer was hitting at it continuously.

He was feeling like he had just lost someone.

• The Experiment by KakashiSensei

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

After a public brawl between them, Commander Erwin confines Captain Levi and Zoë Hange to barracks. When the Survey Corps next heads out, they are left behind as a punishment. Soon bored out of her mind, Hange turns her scientific curiosity towards the most interesting specimen within her reach: Levi. When his past reaches out to him to claim him back, she joins him on a dangerous journey. Do budding feelings have a chance in the most desolate of places?

• windmill by alteirkay

[One-shot]

Summary:

Here is the thing about Levi, his heart is a windmill in the middle of a wilderness where there was no wind to make it twirl, there was no wind to make it beat, pound and feel. Just feel.

Until one day he got hit by a storm so wild, so rare and so incredibly terrifying but in the most beautiful and breath-taking way that it left him defenceless, vulnerable and weak. Like a tiny little flower which had long passed its day of blossoming in a fierce, winter dawn yet it stood erect with its fragile body, challenging against the merciless winds and the brutal frost.

He fell in love.

• In Your Shoes by Neighborhood_Nori

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary

Levi, Paradis Studio's strict ballet instructor, can't stand the newly hired hip-hop instructor, Hanji. As a ballet dancer with his own complicated history with hip-hop, Levi only has respect for the more refined forms of dance. Can Hanji change his mind about her and her style of dance through determination, persistence, and her passion for dance?

• Distractions by Rookblonkorules

[One -shot]

Summary:

Hange’s love for pop culture interferes with her and Levi’s work.

It’s annoying.

• Leave You Whole. by zerothecreator

[One-shot]

Summary:

Levi spends his last moments in Hangë’s arms.

• Moments by Anonymous

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Levihan Modern AU

She's a long-legged, sun-kissed beauty with tattoos in hidden places and multiple piercings.

Her leather jacket's on his bedroom floor, her ripped jeans too and she's pretty sure one of her heeled scarlet boots got left in the living room in their haste last night. At least her glasses are on top of the bedside drawer- they managed that, at least.

• more baby snacks by argethara

[One-shot]

Summary:

Levi tries to find out how and why boxes of Udo's biscuits are gone.

• Anniversary by EllePellano

[One-shot]

Summary:

AU One-shot: Erwin and Levi have a short conversation about the woman they both loved

• All We Are by TundrainAfrica

[One-shot]

Summary:

"We’re what’s left of the old survey corps Levi. We’re all alone.”

“We can’t be alone if there’s two of us.”

“So what do you suggest Captain Levi?”

“We stick together…” Levi answered. “We stick together, Commander Hange.”

During the time skip, Hange and Levi's relationship develops.

• Thin Ice by Xenobia

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Takes place between events in chapter 90 of the manga. Hange, now commander of Survey Corps, commissions Captain Levi to scout territory in the mountains to search for a supply tower she believes may still be stocked. The scouts need all the supplies and currency they can get in order to carry on with their goals. Against his better judgment, Levi joins her on this excursion. The bitter, early winter makes their mission harder than expected, however. The pair find themselves relying on each other to survive, and they find it increasingly difficult to treat one another as comrades in arms and nothing more.

• Hidden Meanings by WhatHistoryForgets

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Hange never thought a materialistic item could mean so much to her until she lost it.

• Of teacups and stale bread

[One-shot]

Summary:

Five times Hange prepared tea for Levi, and the one time that he did.

• Unintended Consequence(s) by Ella3982

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

Not all of the Anti-Personnel Control Squad died when the cavern collapsed. Some of them escaped through the tunnel Hange, Moblit, and Armin used. When the two parties meet, the Anti-Personnel Control Squad takes the three Survey Corps members hostage with the intent to force the Survey Corp's hand. However, when they find out that Kenny Ackerman has died, they become more desperate.

If the Uprising Arc had ended a bit differently, how would it alter the course of the story? What would change, and what would stay the same?

• A Fire in the Shadows by free_pancakes

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

LeviHan in an Avatar the Last Airbender AU - a side story occurring alongside the events of ATLA

Levi, the nephew of a fire nation captain, stumbles upon a ragtag group of 5 known as the Scouts, formidably known for foiling the plans of local fire nation control, living in the forests a few miles north of Ba Sing Se.

• Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)

Summary:

A collection of drabbles and oneshots exploring a sexual relationship between Levi and Hanji.

• Tips & Tricks by Sleepyheadven

[One-shot]

Summary:

Eren’s brow was furrowed forward in confusion as he spoke. “I thought you said that staring at people isn’t nice?” He said after a few moments, gathering his thoughts. He seemed genuinely bewildered as to why she was intensely staring down a stranger when she had told him countless times before that it was impolite to do so.

Oh, lord, was her only thought as she quickly scrambled for an excuse. “I - Uh - well, sometimes people stare at other people because -” before she could even begin to form a proper sentence, Eren interjected. She wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or dismayed by his actions.

“Is it because you think he’s cute? My friend Ymir stares at my friend Krista that way all the time, she says it’s because she’s so pretty!” Eren babbled happily, oblivious to the way Hange’s grip around the handle of the cart tightened. Her brown eyes darted back and forth between the stranger and her son, hoping that he couldn’t overhear their conversation seeing as Eren wasn’t the softest of speakers.

• A drunk man always tells the truth by krissixh

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Levi finds out that Hanji is engaged to a rich man. He gets drunk that night and confronts her his feelings. The two have to confront a lot of difficulties to be able to end as a couple.

• Relapses by Oreotragus

[Multi-chapt || completed]

Summary:

Despite having become a great asset to humankind, Captain Levi still has some trouble adjusting to his post-crime lifestyle, especially the social aspects of it. One extremely badly coordinated step out of his comfort zone creates a grand mess that he has to clean up.

• Weight of Survival by otterbeans

[One-shot]

Summary:

Hanji gives birth to Levi's unintentional child. She pretends to be surprised when he shows up for it.

• Don't drink the kool-aid by smallblip

[One-shot]

Summary:

Think of a number between one and ten. Because that's how you love in this world. First you toss out the word love. You tell it to its face that Commander Erwin Smith says “love is the ultimate cult of men... A sect... A dirty ploy by the whatever god is up there to make us all vulnerable..."

And then, everything falls into place.

• until another thursday evening by pinkweirdsunsets

[Multi-chapt || on going]

Summary:

and ever since they were only five, Levi had protected her, whether it was from the daily shenanigans she came up with or the criminal background he came from. She was his sunshine, messy and grinning, and he shielded her away from all terrible things.

until zeke yeager came along.

• Make It Make Sense! By cznpai

[Multi-chapt || completed]

I can't add the summary cause I've reached the limit. Welp i still have a lot of fics here so ill make a another post of reccomendations... HAHA bye!

[blessednereid]

Pity the Living

Daniel Sharman x Reader Series

A/N: The Much Requested, and By Requested, I mean @rogershoe wanted me to write this, MY DANIEL SHARMAN FANFICTION!!!!!! The character that Y/N plays is based on my OC for FTWD and is not an actual character in FTWD. Basic Premise of the setting for this chapter is that they're in high-school/ secondary school. But for the majority of the story(minus flashbacks) it's set in 2016/17 when s3 of FTWD was filmed.

Story Summary: When (Y/N) (L/N) reunites with a high-school friend on the set of the job she's been working on for the past 2-3 years, not only is she excited to work with the guy who inspired her to go into acting, but to hear about what he's done since she's seen him. But the more they talk, the more she realizes, this reunion is not going the way she had planned.

CW: Cursing? brief mention of alcohol, anxiety, mentions of food, fake dagger, fake blood, bets,

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Career Day

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

Most of the students around you were chorusing to the tune of your school anthem, but not you. You had heard the melody and sung it almost a million times. Whether you were exaggerating or not, not even you knew. Instead, you were whispering and laughing with one of your best friends, Daniel Sharman.

You met Daniel when you first came to the school. You didn't know many people. You didn't even know yourself in this place. It was a completely foreign experience, but he stuck by your side and showed you around.

Since then, you had made friends, joined the swim team, learned your way around the school without ending up in the boys' restrooms instead of the girls' ones. Despite not needing Daniel to show you around anymore, he still provided plenty of comedic support and pick-me-ups and was a great mate all around.

Your teacher had just finished introducing all the parents who were presenting at career day. The assignment being after the presentations were finished, you were supposed to think about what you wanted to be in the future. You had no idea what you wanted to be. But of course… Daniel did.

"An actor."

"An actor?" he nodded. "Like Macbeth?"

"No, Macbeth is a character. An actor is a person who plays the character."

"Why an actor?"

"Dunno. Just seems right."

You frowned. "Huh, that's nice. Knowing what you want to be."

"You could always try acting. It's worth a shot."

"Hah, if I ever tried acting, it would probably be when I'm old, senile, and look like Betty White."

"Oh, come on. You're a great actress!"

"What's that supposed to mean, Sharman?" you gasped.

"Just that you tell fibs and stories as if they were the truth. That's all acting is."

"I DO NOT!"

"How did you convince your mum that your dog jumped onto the table and ate the cake without making any noise last weekend, then?" You opened your mouth to speak before closing it.

"Cat got your tongue?" he teased.

"Shut up, Sharman."

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

L/N Residence

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

You and Daniel were both swimming in the pool in your backyard when Daniel asked you the question.

"Did you think about it?"

Still floating, you asked, "About what?"

"Acting."

You laughed incredulously. "You were serious?"

"Of course I was." He swam closer to you and pulled your leg down, making you flop around and splash water.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"Was just trying to get your attention," he remarked innocently.

You coughed. "You had it."

"Picture this," he waved you off. "Us, on the red carpet-"

"Who's red carpet?"

"Does it matter? We'll be each other's dates anyways."

"Why is that?" you asked.

"Because we're best friends."

"What if one of us has a boyfriend or girlfriend?"

He shrugged. "Ok, whatever. We're on the red carpet separately. It's both of ours red carpet-"

"So, does that mean we're in a movie together?"

"Yes, Y/N," he muttered exasperatedly.

"But that's impossible?"

"Why do you say that?"

You leaned closer to his ear. "BECAUSE I'M NOT BECOMING AN ACTOR."

He jumped away from you, proceeding to splash you with water.

"Mark my words. I know talent when I see it."

You sighed. "Could this just be you not wanting to be lonely in the acting world?"

He jutted his lip and spoke in a whiny voice. "Maybe…"

You laughed before splashing a giant wave of water at him. While he still had water in his eyes, you dove under and pulled him down.

He flailed around before his head popped up, and he calmed down.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"PAYBACK, SHARMAN!"

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Announcement

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

The intercom gave a heavy buzz, and static-y noises ran amok over the building before a voice actually came through the speakers.

"Hello, Teachers, Students, and Faculty. Welcome back to school. We hope that you all enjoyed your holidays and got the rest you needed to pay attention in class today," the last part was passive. Your principal gave more announcements for clubs and sports around the school, such as upcoming games or reminders for students to buy the school yearbook.

You were nodding along interested, or looking for interest really when something caught your best friend's attention.

"The school will also be hosting its first-ever play, Romeo and Juliet. Interested people should report to the music room before the end of the week to receive information."

You saw Daniel's eyes widen only moments before he spoke up. "Hey," he waved at you. "You should audition!"

"Daniel, are you insane?"

He chuckled, "No, but I think you'd like it."

You tried arguing, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. "You're the one who said you didn't know what you wanted to do after you graduated. Doing this cannot hurt."

"Yeah, it can't hurt until I trip on my costumes and break my neck!"

"That rarely ever happens," he said exasperatedly. "Ok, how about this? You audition, and if you end up getting a role and actually doing the play, I'll give you fifty pounds."

You squinted. "Do you even have fifty pounds to give me?"

"Do you even have to ask," he feigned shock in the accusation? You gave a sour face before he truthfully answered. "Fine, I don't have it now. But I will by the time the play comes around."

"What do I get just for auditioning?"

"I'll convince my mum to make that cake you like."

"Fine."

"BUT!" he exclaimed. "You have to audition for Juliet."

"You're kidding?"

He laughed. "No, I'm not. You have to audition for Juliet."

"I hate you," you mumbled before sighing a whispered 'fine.'

He gave a toothy smile. "Then we have a deal."

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Auditions

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

You reluctantly walked onto the stage, Daniel's widening grin so visible in the audience. He said that he only put his name on the audition sheet so he could watch the auditions. He would've already been gone by the time it was his turn.

"Hello, My name is Y/n L/n, and I am auditioning for Juliet," your lips pressing into a straight line after saying the sentence.

You stammered through your first few lines. "Sh-Shall I speak ill of him— that is my husband?" You said with a laugh.

"Ah," you paused and clicked your tongue. "Poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name… When I, thy three-hours wife, have mangled it?"

You said your following line in an accusatory manner. "But wherefore, villain... didst thou kill my cousin?" you said, though your voice squealed trying to pronounce 'didst.' "That villain cousin would have killed my husband."

"Back, foolish tears, back to your native spring!" Your voice rose and fell several octaves. "Your tributary drops belong to woe, Which you, mistaking, offer up to joy." Fake tears spring to your eyes, your voice cracked, and you began slowly falling against an invisible wall.

You looked down at your paper for what to say next. "My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain; And Tybalt's dead, that would have slain my husband. All this is comfort; wherefore weep I then?" You wiped your cheeks dramatically.

"Some word there was, worser than Tybalt's death, That murd'red me. I would forget it fain;" your lips quivered, and you sucked in deep, heaving breaths before speaking your line.

"But O, it presses to my memory. Like damnèd guilty deeds to sinners' minds! 'Tybalt is dead, and Romeo--banishèd!" You shouted.

You stood back up in a startling jump, and with a proud smile, you said triumphantly, "And Scene!"

The directors and some students in the audience, especially Daniel, gave a round of applause before the director dismissed you.

You took the steps to the stage and sat next to Daniel as the director called the next student to audition.

"You were amazing! The director might as well have given you the role right then and there."

You laughed, "Hang on, charmer. There were a bunch of Juliet's who literally said that entire thing so… fluently. I stammered through the whole thing."

"But you showed more emotion than anyone else. You only had a week to prepare. The actual show will be like child's play."

"They want people who can memorize and recite. The emotion can be added later, but it's worth nothing if they forget their lines."

"There is such a thing called improvising for a reason," he reassured.

"Who in their right, bloody minds wants to improvise Shakespeare?"

He turned his head and chuckled before waving a five-pound note in front of your face. "Here, I got to go before they call me, but you earned this at least."

"Five pounds for being forced to audition for a stupid play so you can prove a point? Wow, you must really fancy me, huh, Sharman?" you said sarcastically.

"Goodbye, L/n," he whispered before sneaking out the back door of the auditorium.

"Alright, next up. Daniel Sharman!" The director shouted your friend's name a few more times before giving up.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Headmasters Office

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

A week after your audition, you were called to the headmasters' office. Thus is the cause of the curious looks from your classmates. Oohs and Aahs flooded your ears as you grabbed your bag and headed out the door to the front of the school.

When you got to the front of the building and went into the headmasters' office, you saw the Theatre director, Ms Parker, standing behind the desk. "Headmaster Leo allowed me to use his office to do this. Isn't that cool?"

Ms Parker was one of the younger teachers in school. She was twenty-four, and this was her first year teaching after receiving her bachelor's degree in education and a master's degree in music production. A fact she could astoundingly ramble about for fifteen minutes. As proven at the auditions.

"I didn't want to call you to the theatre room. That would be too predictable, correct?" You'd come to realize she was a very eccentric woman. "I have called you in here to inform you that you have been selected to perform in this year's play of Romeo and Juliet."

A wave of shock coursed through your body, and you were sure it reflected on your face. "Are you sure?"

"Darling, I'm positive!- your audition was totally spectacular! So brilliant-in fact- that I am completely sure in my choice to make you our female lead- Juliet!"

"What!" Your eyes widened into a blank stare. Your thoughts were running rampant in your mind. You thought that performing on the stage would be a breeze when you weren't the lead.

"Ms Parker, I didn't actually want the part of Juliet! It's just that my friend dared me to audition for Juliet! Is there no way I can get a smaller part? I'm no Juliet. The show would be ruined," you rambled.

The directors' facial expressions softened, "Darling, you are the only choice. None of the other people who auditioned can even compare to the amount of passion you produced in that audition. I am determined to have you as our Juliet."

You whimpered out an "Ok." Professors had a strange way of convincing you to do extra credit assignments or things that aren't necessary.

"We have a chemistry read for you and a few of our other choices for Romeo after school today. Do you need to contact a parent to let them know where you'll be?"

"Uh, yes, please."

After you made your call, you walked back to your classroom with shaky hands. The class period was almost over, but you had to tell Daniel that you had gotten a part in the show. Not just any part- THE PART!

You shuffled into the classroom reluctantly. All eyes were on you as every student had assumed you'd been in trouble. Either suspended, expelled, or told your parents were going to have a sit-down with the headmaster.

You took your seat next to Daniel before taking out a piece of paper and writing out a note, encompassing the words, "I got the part!"

You slid the sheet discreetly onto his desk. When he read it, his eyes widened, and he quietly moved his hands toward yours, beckoning for a high five.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

First Rehearsal

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

After the chemistry read, the role of Romeo was given to a kid named James Mercer-Allen got the part. Though it was more because the directors were starting to become tired.

The next day was the first rehearsal. Swimming season was last semester, so there was no clash in schedules with the play.

"Alright, this rehearsal is to get acquainted with the stage, your fellow actors, and directors," she insisted. "Now, let's introduce ourselves. Can our Romeo please stand up?"

James stood up and gave a brief introduction. You were called on next. You stated your name, "I was on the swim team last semester, and I'm in my thirteenth year. I hope I can do this role justice."

More students stood up to introduce themselves. The entire process took more than thirty minutes.

The next thing to happen was that the rest of the students were called to recite lines for various roles. The only parts that had been cast preliminarily were Romeo and Juliet.

You and James had sat on the wooden stools unless there was a scene going on that needed Romeo and/or Juliet.

By the end of the first rehearsal, the majority of the speaking roles were cast. You went home exhausted but not expecting the conversation that waited for you.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

The Talk

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

"We're moving?" you shouted at your parents from your seat across from them in the sitting room. "What do you mean we're moving."

"Honey, your dad got a job in the states, so we have to move," your mother argued.

"But what about school? No school will take me in the middle of the year, and it's my last year of secondary school. I don't want to spend the rest of my last year knowing nobody."

Your dad, the man of the hour, spoke up. "Dear, we're moving at the end of the year. After school ends."

"But- What about Uni?"

"You said you were taking a sabbatical year!"

"Yes, so I could intern in London!"

"Can't you intern in California?" Your mother whined.

"We're going to California? It's the furthest state?"

Your dad attempted to reassure you but failed. "Darling, it won't be that bad. Maybe you'll like it there more than you like it here!"

"I could never like anywhere more than I like it here!"

You agreed to go to your room and spent the rest of the day there. Later on, after you finished moping, you ringed up your closest friends to tell them you were moving. You did that until you were so tired you fell asleep on the phone with Sarah before you even called Daniel.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Confrontation

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

"Why am I hearing from everyone besides you that you're moving?" Daniel appeared out of thin air behind you, and the accusation was an assault on your conscience.

You could lie and tell him that you wanted to reveal that to him in person, or you could just tell him the truth- say you fell asleep. Mix-and-Match? You ended up just telling the truth. "I fell asleep when I was making some of my other calls. I was going to tell you, I swear!"

"Why didn't you call me first. I'm your best friend?"

"That's why! It was too hard. I kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off because I didn't want to tell you, I don't want it to be true, and telling you of all people would make it feel real."

"Why can't you stay for Uni?"

"I already told my parents I was taking a gap year. I didn't apply to any colleges."

"Crap!" he sighed. "Ok, well, we're going to have to make the most of it. And! You're getting a going away party!"

"Daniel, I don't need-"

"No debate! You are getting a going away party!"

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Opening Night

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

Four months later, after all the rehearsals and memorizations of lines. After much running around the entire film department, it was finally opening night, and your nerves were shot.

You were scrambling all morning to find everything you needed. All your costumes were at the school, but you still needed to bring your black leotard, skin-coloured tights, and wear your hair in an up-do style.

You decided to do your skincare routine, but your panic got the best of you, and you forgot what every single product was used for.

Daniel came over and helped you get ready but found you practically hyperventilating.

Your parents drove you both to the theatre, and when Ms Parker told you that Daniel couldn't be backstage, you promptly told her that he was your emotional support. After much arguing, she finally let him backstage.

Around an hour before showtime, the director told Daniel that he had to go wait in the audience if he already bought his ticket or that he had to go do it now.

Before he left, he gave you a pep-talk. "Hey, so one time, I was in this play, and the idea was that I was expelled, and there was a piece of paper I had to give my 'mother,' but I lost it. So we had to improvise, but I couldn't find the paper, and I felt horrible. So just know, even if you forget your lines, you must improvise, and remember, it still probably won't compare to the embarrassment I felt that day. So you can laugh at my humiliation. "

You chuckled, "I will. Ok, go before you get in trouble."

"Ok, me, our parents and all your friends will be in the front row. I've already reserved the entire row. I brought a whole bag of jackets just for that reason!"

"You can't do that," you said in between cackles.

"For you, I'll do anything," he grinned.

A few hours later and the show was almost done. "What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end," you wept.

"O, churl! Drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to die with thine restorative." You leaned over James and let your hair fall to the side of your head to cover your face. You pulled back without actually kissing James.

"Thy lips are warm."

A whispery voice came from offstage, "Which way?" The cue for you to take the poison, which was actually cranberry juice.

"Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!" You grabbed the dagger and brought it near your chest. "This is thy sheath;" you drew the fake knife back three inches from your chest and stabbed it to where the bag of more cranberry juice was and punctured the bag. 'Blood' soaked through your dress. "There rust, and let me die." You fell dramatically onto the altar and waited for the scene to end as the crowd cheered.

After the show, you dashed into the crowd where your friends and family waited for you. Ovations and Applauses were passed, lauded boxes of chocolates and gorgeous roses were given.

When you got to Daniel, he practically tackled you with a hug. "I actually thought you died for a split second. The blood looked so real."

"Daniel, most people don't bleed that fast, do they?"

"I don't know but fear kicked in, and I couldn't make sense of anything."

You grinned and almost went to your parents before Daniel grabbed your arm. "You don't have a date to the Leavers ball, do you?"

"No, I don't. Why?"

He sighed. "Well, I was thinking that you could go with me. I don't have a date either."

You squinted, thinking there was some ulterior motive behind his actions. "Ok, I'll go with you if you give me the money you owe me before then."

"It's right here," he smiled.

Your face scrunched up, but you reluctantly agreed. You only had a month of school left, and you might as well spend it having fun with your friends.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

The Leavers Ball and the Getaway Party

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

You were dressed in a light blue, pleated, Mikado prom dress that cut off at mid-thigh. You had black wedges on your feet and a black pearl-beaded bracelet on your arm.

You were wearing a half-up, half-down style that framed your face and a silver necklace with a circle-shaped diamond.

You were sitting in the parlour when Daniel rang the doorbell. He was ten minutes late.

"Sorry," he said when your dad answered it. "I know I'm late. I was picking up Kat and James."

Kat and James were your and Daniel's respective friends who'd started last year after you and Daniel introduced them.

"Hi," you popped out of the shadows. "Alright, Mom, Dad, we're late, so we're just going to get goi-"

"Wait! I have to take pictures! Go get Kat and James."

"No, Mom. No pictures!"

"It's only right. I just want a few. We can take it outside."

You sighed but reluctantly caved into your mother's will.

The four of you took pictures outside of Daniel's Jeep Wrangler. You took ones with silly faces, just girls, just boys, and ones with all four of you before your parents allowed you to leave.

You were forty minutes late, and the ball was already in full swing by the time you got there.

You got on the dance floor immediately because one of your favourite songs was playing, but the DJ switched the song as soon as you found a decent spot. It was a slow song. You chuckled, and Daniel put his hands on your waist.

"Well, this is awkward."

A few minutes later, Daniel posed an interesting question.

"Did you know that I had a crush on you when you first came to school?"

"Uh, you stammered. "No, I didn't know that."

"Yeah, I did. It was short, though. Surface-level."

"Oh," you said. "Should I take offence to that?"

"What?" His eyes widened in realization with what he said. "No, that's not what I meant. You have an amazing personality. I just meant that… I just meant I like you more as a friend than to ruin that with any of those feelings."

"Oh, ok. You wouldn't have, though."

"I wouldn't?"

"No, everyone needs an ego boost every once in a while."

"Haha!"

"And besides, I've had feelings for you at one point too. But it was very cliche, so I tried to shake it as hard as I could."

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows. "And did you?"

"Like I said, as hard as I could. If it's still there somewhere, it's buried very deep, so much so that I was embarrassed."

"Embarrassed to like me?"

"I mean embarrassed to try and make my life seem like some movie."

"Oh, well, if you did, it would've just made you that much better as an actress. Speaking of that, would you consider acting in the least?"

"Maybe, now that I'm leaving, it's basically the last thing I have to connect me to you."

"No," he said, pointing to your bracelet. "You have that."

You had forgotten that it was Daniel who gave it to you, but the realization brought a smile to your face. "Oh yeah, I'll never take it off."

Later on, long before the ball ended, you saw many of your friends leaving.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" Daniel approached you.

"Where is everyone going?"

He wriggled his eyebrows. "Afterparty!"

"But it's not over?"

"Quit being a party popper and just come with us, L/N!"

You gave in, something you did a lot, and you all started driving. When you got there, you realized you were at Daniel's house.

"The afterparty is at your house?" you asked.

"Well…" James answered.

Kat joined in. "It's really an afterparty!"

"This is your going away party!" Daniel finished.

"But I'm not going away for another month."

"Well, now you have an entire month for people to give you gifts and stuff, and you don't have to worry about the party!" He reasoned.

"But why did it have to be after the Leavers ball?"

"Because you're already in a dress, and it has to be a surprise! Surprise!" Kat exclaimed.

"Alright, fine!"

The entire night you partied and danced, and though you didn't drink alcohol, plentiful amounts of pop and mocktails were passed around. The music was a delight to your ears with all your favourite songs. There were chips and pizza with all your favourite toppings.

"This party is awesome!"

Daniel grinned. "Well, I am an amazing party planner if I do say so myself."

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Airport

☆◦ 。／｜＼。◦☆

Daniel's parents drove your family to the airport. Your parents had sold the car. Your dad would return in a week to close a deal on the house. Everything was official, and now you were leaving.

You got out of the car, and the tears forcefully began to fall.

"I'm really gonna miss you, jerk," you said disdainfully to Daniel.

He chuckled. "I'm going to miss you more."

"Impossible!"

He wiped the fallen tear from your eye, and for a moment, you could see every single multi-coloured speck in his eyes and noticed how sometimes they looked blue, and at others, they looked grey or green.

You noticed the curvature of his smile and the chisel of his jawline.You saw the hurt in his eyes that said, 'why do you have to go? You're killing me,' and wanted to never move from that position.

He continued to rub the tears that fell onto your cheek, and the sad moment was as sheltered as it could be. You felt safe with him, in his arms, just looking at his face and being reminded of how he comforted you in a place that felt as familiar as Oz felt to Dorothy.

"What am I gonna do without you?" you whispered.

"Get at least one acting job, get an assistant and an agent, I'll do the same thing, and then either one of us has our assistants reach out to our agents, so we get back in touch in case we ever lose touch."

He sounded so grave that you couldn't help but laugh. "That's assuming I do become an actress, Daniel."

"You're right," he whined. "But don't forget me."

"I promise."

And you tried to keep that promise. Throughout your first year, you interned at UCLA, working in the lab. You then applied to go to school there, and you still tried to keep Daniel in your mind. Maintaining a social life on campus combined with schoolwork already wasn't easy. However, you still wouldn't let yourself forget your best friend.

It wasn't until you entered your senior year and you were about to graduate that he started to wane in your memories. The things you did together became obsolete as new friends and memories replaced the old. The things he taught you were thrown out to make space for the new lessons you learned each day.

Even when you did become an actress, you never really remembered why you decided to. You remembered that your friend pushed you to do that play, but it was almost ten years ago, and for the life of you, you couldn't remember his name.

But you did do it, first as an extra, then a body double, and then you started getting l roles on smaller shows. But your big break was getting a quasi-lead role on the spin-off of a big television show, The Walking Dead. For two years, you enjoyed going to conventions and playing the complex character, Valeria Bishop, and you thought you had it all figured out.

But life has a funny way of coming full circle and throwing you a curveball that knows you off course and changes your life.

[bestofbucky]

The Signal (1/2)

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: Angst, death, blood, canon level violence, swearing.

Summary:  You go on a mission with Bucky.

A/N: Part 2 will hopefully be up sometime soon.

“You ready doll?” Bucky asked as you were nearing your drop off point. 

You nod back, not trusting your voice. No matter how many times you have had to parachute from a quinjet it will never get easier. Of course, Bucky can tell how nervous you are by the way you avoid eye contact and start tugging at the straps of your harness. He pulls your hands away replacing them with his own as he safety checks your parachute.

You know that you have done it all correctly but having him double check it is the reassurance you need. You watch him, his slightly furrowed brow and tongue poking out giving away how concentrated he is. 

He finishes his final check and looks up at you, “What are you smiling about?” He can’t stop his own grin from spreading across his face. Bucky didn’t just smile with his mouth, he smiled through the crinkles in the outer corners of his eyes, he smiled through the scrunch of his nose and he smiled through the relaxation of his whole body.

“You.” The contentment you feel, that comes from simply being near Bucky, is obvious in your body language and voice. His eyes glimmer as he leans forward pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.

Bucky had joined the team about two years ago. For one of his first missions you were paired up, you worked so seamlessly together that it would be silly not to put you with each other for more missions. This resulted in the two of you becoming close friends, he trusted and confided in you and you felt the same. 

It would be normal for the two of you to be holed up together after a tough mission, looking after the other but not wanting any social interaction with anyone else. You were both extremely similar like that, tending to fall inwards but you both became experts at drawing the other one out.

It was a natural transition from friendship to romantic relationship. You had just come back from mission and you were cuddled up in Bucky’s bed watching a film. Bucky had turned to you out of the blue and asked if you wanted to go on a date with him to which you immediately agreed. The feelings were already there from the bond you had formed, it was just the physical side that was needed.

This wasn’t a difficult thing to develop for either of you. Bucky had never met someone who completely overwhelmed his thoughts and feelings as much as you did. You were always on his mind whether it was a comment Sam made that he knew you would be on the floor laughing at or a mental picture of you sleeping, the morning light making your skin glow softly. He thought you always looked like an angel but especially in those moments.

You had never met anyone who's laughter was so infectious, it had become addicting to be the one to pull those noises from him, to lose yourself in his lopsided grins and crinkled eyes. He drew you in like a butterfly to nectar. You couldn’t get enough of him. His voice, his hands, his kisses.

This mission, on paper, was a simple one. Apart from jumping out of a quinjet and landing onto a moving train, all you and Bucky had to do was stop an illegal trade. That’s it. The mission file didn’t cover who the parties involved in the deal were. From your experience, being trained at the Academy and moving up the ranks of SHIELD before finally becoming an Avenger, you know that illegal trades are normally between civilians who are in over their heads in some kind of criminal group. However, not long into the mission you realised it wasn’t simple at all.

It turns out that one of the ‘unknown parties’ is Hydra, never a good sign. The weapons they are dealing are enhanced with alien technology and they somehow knew that you and Bucky were coming. The only reason the mission didn’t get pulled is because the rest of the team was on standby, ready to step in at any moment.

In fact, the job got so complicated, so quickly, that you and Bucky found yourselves at the back of the train, severely outnumbered and being pushed closer and closer to the edge of the train where the back wall had been blown to pieces by the very weapons involved in the trade.

It was loud, the sounds of fighting were drowned out by the noises of the wheels on the tracks. The train was moving fast and the wind was whirling around the carriage meaning just one misstep could send you flying off the train and landing on the tracks below.

There was a moment when you thought you were a goner, but Bucky managed to haul you back into the carriage, putting himself between you and the edge of the train. A move that warmed your heart, knowing his history with trains was not a good one.

“I fucking hate trains.” You remember him saying when you had first got the mission brief. “Nothing good ever happens on trains.” You had laughed back then, but there was nothing funny about the situation you were in now.

The next ten seconds seemed to happen so quickly. One of the attackers yelled something in what you assumed to be German, he was holding the weapon you recognised to be the same as the one that blew out the back wall of the carriage. Next thing you knew Bucky had wrapped his arm around you and was launching you both off the train. 

Time slowed and you seemed to float mid-air as you watched the carriage go up in flames, shrapnel flying everywhere, the heat burning your eyes and forcing them closed. Then came the impact of the fall, quite luckily Bucky had managed to aim for the snow on the sides of the train tracks and not in the train tracks themselves.

Bucky immediately sits up and sends the signal for extraction, he then starts checking himself for injuries. You are lying on your side facing him, half your body concealed by the snow, the other half just poking out. His eyes travel to you as he looks over your body.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” The concern was clear in his voice.

“No, I think I’m ok.” You try to move yourself but wince slightly. “I think I landed funny though because my side hurts.” You manoeuvre yourself onto your back. As soon as you get your right side out of the snow a gasp causes you to snap your head towards Bucky who is just staring in shock at your stomach.

His eyes are wide, eyebrows slanted upwards and mouth open slightly. You know whatever it is can’t be good. Gathering up the courage to look down at your stomach, you lift up onto your forearms. Finally looking down, the sight causes bile to rise and you have to stop yourself from gagging. A piece of shrapnel about the size of an A5 piece of paper is sticking out of your side. There is so much blood around it that it is hard to tell what it is and how deep it has gone.

It’s as if looking at it made it real because the pain suddenly hits you. Out of instinct your hand flies towards the wound to try and hold it or soothe it but Bucky quickly catches your hand stopping you. It’s like a flip switched in his mind. He suddenly starts stripping off his clothing. He takes his shirt and undershirt off before putting the rest of his gear back on. He moves behind you, placing his legs either side of you and lifting your upper body carefully, so you are now leaning on him. He manages to wrap your wound, careful to go around the shrapnel to try to stop the bleeding, but not push it in anymore. He continues to do the same with as much of his clothing as he can afford to lose in the snow. He takes your left hand and puts it over the clothing, then places his hand on top, telling you to press down as hard as you can, as he does the same.

You start to feel lightheaded, the pain in your side only getting stronger.

“Stay with me doll, backup is on its way. They’ll find us.” Bucky is practically begging and you try your hardest to keep your eyes open.

“You were right.” You say after a while and Bucky gives you a puzzled look. “Nothing good ever happens on trains.” You chuckle at your own joke but quickly stop when it causes shooting pains to fly through your body.

Bucky lets out a sharp breath from his nose. “When you get through this you will be able to join my ‘I survived a fall from a train’ club.” He jokes smiling down at you.

“I can’t imagine there are very many members of that club.” You smile back at him and he laughs, you can tell he is trying to distract you but you let him anyway.

“No, at the moment it’s just me. The events the club holds are very fun though!” His eyes light up as he continues to look down at you. “We’ve had freight night, that was watching scary movies that have a train in at some point. There’s train reaction, which is like the telephone game, that one was quite difficult with one person.” He laughs at himself which makes you giggle, trying not to contract your stomach. It doesn’t work and the shooting pains are back. The smile is still clear on your face and Bucky reaches his free hand up to push a bit of hair behind your ear.

“Bucky.” You whisper to get his attention, the words you want to speak are clear in the look of longing in your eyes. 

“No, baby please I don’t want to hear you say whatever you are going to say. You fight through this and you can tell me whatever it is when you’re better.” A frown is clear on his face.

“But I-“

“Please doll. You want to tell me whatever it is so badly, then use it as a reason to fight this. To come out the other side.” You scan his face and from the crease lines in his brow and the desperation in his eyes you can tell he already knows what you want to say.

You both fall into a comfortable silence. You realise being in Bucky’s arms is probably your favourite place to be. Feeling his chest steadily rise and fall, your head gently moving with it. You feel so protected, cherished, peaceful.

That is until Bucky looks down at your stomach to see that all the clothing he tried to use to wrap the wound has been completely soaked in your blood, he visibly winces. You move your head slightly to try and get a look but Bucky uses his free hand to tilt your chin up so you are looking at him instead. He holds the eye contact as he takes his jacket off and drapes it over you, covering your wound from your sight and warming you up as much as he can.

As secretively as he could, he sent the signal out to the team. The signal only used in extreme emergencies. Three long holds. The signal to say an agent doesn’t have long left to live.

The sharp sting of the cold has faded into exhaustion as the pain retreats from your body leaving behind a numbness you have never experienced before.

“I always thought I’d be alone.” You say pensively, “I never thought about death too much. I just always assumed I’d be alone when it happened.” You were slurring your words. If you were more aware of your surroundings you would have felt Bucky tense up at your words. Looking up into his blue eyes you wondered if death would be as serene as them.

“You’re not alone. I’m here.” Bucky’s once motivational words, convincing you to hold on, shift to words intended to comfort you, to draw out the fear of your final moments and replace them with solace. You had closed your eyes, his reassuring whispers gradually fading away as he cradled you close to his chest. You wanted to be able to hear his heartbeat but all you could hear was the erratic beating of your own heart pounding in your head. 

In the far distance you felt commotion around you so you used what was left of your energy to open your eyes one final time. The sight you were greeted with sent a wave of emotion through you. Your team members, your friends, they were all gathered around you, kneeling or standing in the snow.

“My family is here.” You smile to yourself as you let the tiredness overtake you. The last thing you feel is an ice cold tear rolling down your cheek. An overwhelming sense of calm consumes your body and your worries and fears simply fade to nothingness. 

Bucky knew even before the Avengers turned up that your chances of surviving this were slim. You were bleeding out fast and it was showing no sign of slowing. It killed Bucky to know that all he could do was make you as comfortable and reassure you as much as possible in your final moments of life.

When the team got Bucky’s first signal, the plan was for just Tony to go down and retrieve you both. Then the second signal came in. They all silently agreed they would land the quinjet and all go together, maybe to say goodbye if they had enough time. If not, just to be with you when you take your last breath. They all knew that there was nothing any of them could do.

What none of them could have predicted was Helen Cho and a SHIELD team transporting the cradle from one base to another. The flight path directly over your current location. Their quinjet picked up Bucky’s radio signal and they made the choice to land to see if they could help.

Upon arrival Helen rushed straight to you, checking for signs of life, she must have felt something because she ordered for you to be put in the cradle as quickly as possible.

Bucky was frozen, no he wasn’t cold, he was a super soldier, the cold barely affected him. He was simply in a state of daze, unable to move himself to get you into the cradle. Steve could see this and swiftly took you into his arms carrying you onto the other quinjet and placing you down in the cradle. As soon as you were secure Helen was directing a team of people to all do different things. Steve stepped out of the jet, not wanting to get in the way.

No one spoke, they all had their hopes that you would be ok, but no one was particularly optimistic. 

“We’ll take her to my lab, she’s not in a good condition and this jet can only sustain the cradle for so long, we can take one or two of you in this jet with us, but feel free to follow in yours.” Helen had stepped out and as soon as she finished her sentence it was like a flip switched inside everyone.

The team made their way back onto the quinjet but Bucky hadn’t moved, he was bathed in your blood, a ring of red surrounding him a stark contrast to the blinding white of the snow. Bucky gratefully accepted Steve’s hand helping him onto his shaky legs. He looked down at where he had just been. The red crater left in the snow told the story of what had happened but Bucky still couldn’t quite believe it.

Steve’s hand on Bucky’s shoulder guided him to the quinjet you were in. He sat there staring ahead unable to do anything more, Steve stayed close by his side but knew not to push anything.

“She wanted to tell me something.” Bucky suddenly breaks the silence but his gaze stays fixed ahead. “She wanted to tell me something and I couldn’t let her finish because I wanted to stay strong for her.” Steve stays silent knowing he wasn’t finished. “I didn’t let her say anything because I knew I would have broken down in front of her.” He continues as tears start to fall from his eyes. He feels everything, guilt, regret, pain, loss, hope but at the same time feels nothing at all. His body numb and still in shock.

“What if it was her dying wish to say whatever it was and I took that away from her.” A crack in Bucky’s voice causes Steve’s heart to contract. He pulls his friend into a hug, Bucky gladly accepting the comfort.

“We both know what she was going to say Buck,” Steve takes a deep breath to try to stop himself from crying, “and we know how she is. If she thought for one second you didn’t know what she was going to say, then she wouldn’t have let you stop her from saying it.” 

Of course Bucky knew what you were going to say because he felt it too. He knew, because to kill you both only one of you actually had to die.

Taglist: @vampirewithbedsidemanners @townwitchbitch @velvetcardiganbucky

[putschki1969]

2022/02/20 Blog post by Wakana 打倒！小学生のわたし！〜BSフジさんとニューキャラクター〜

❗This is Fan Club EXCLUSIVE content❗ ❗PERSONAL USE ONLY❗ Do ❗NOT SHARE❗ on other sites ❗ Join her FAN CLUB! Check out my detailed TUTORIAL ❗

Major Fail！Back to Being a Schoolgirl！〜BS Fuji’s New Character〜

A video with live footage from my Osaka performance of "Wakana Anime Classic 2021" which was held back in August of last year has been uploaded to the BS Fuji Official YouTube channel 🥰💕 We have compiled a few carefully selected songs so I hope you will get a sense of what the live felt like, please enjoy \ (^-^) /

It really feels like the actual live so you can properly experience my nervousness. 😂 it’s a little bit embarrassing (.-_-.) My very first Anime Classic live was two years ago during the winter time so for this live I chose a set list with a summer theme. Izumi Hall, Sumitomo Life was a a great venue ♪ Then I held another concert at Kioi Hall in Tokyo. And in December I returned once more to Kioi Hall for my birthday live. When I think about it, I realise that I had a very busy year 🤣🤣

Hello, this is Wakana (0￣ ▽ ￣0) /

The year really was jam-packed with a ton of events!! \\\\ ٩ ('ω') و ////

Speaking of which, I held my "Wakana Shark Festival Special 2022 ~ Talk & Mini Live ~" on February 6, I would like to talk a bit more about it today 😊 First of all, I did a mini live corner with Yurie Sakai-chan ♪ Since I was celebrating my  3rd anniversary as solo artist, I selected songs from various stages of my solo career, trying my best to stick to a chronological order(*^^*)

【Set List】 01. 時を越える夜に (2019.02.06) 02. 愛の花 (2019.03.20) 03. 夕焼け (2019.11.20) 04. 夢のゆくえ (2020.12.09) 05.Happy Hello Day (2020.02.26)

I started with my debut single 01. 時を越える夜に (2019.02.06). It was the first song where I tried to write lyrics so it will always be a special song for me 😊 And next I sang  02. 愛の花 (2019.03.20) from my 1st album “Wakana”. This song was written by the same people who made " 時を越える夜に". Next up a song from my "Aki no Sakura EP", 03. 夕焼け (2019.11.20). I really love this song so much because it’s so calm and comforting with its healing melody and it makes me feel nostalgic when I sing it 😊 To wrap up the live corner, I performed two songs in a row with the first being from my cover album "Wakana Covers ~ Anime Classics ~" 04. 夢のゆくえ (2020.12.09) and the last one being from my 2nd album "magic moment" 05.Happy Hello Day (2020.02.26) (^^). "Happy Hello Day" was actually released first so chronologically, it should have been performed in the opposite order but I felt the transition would be nicer if I started with"夢のゆくえ" 😋 Yurie-chan arranged all the songs for me, the arrangements had a great dynamic and delicateness that made me feel as if I was hearing not only the piano but also the sounds of other instruments! 🥺🥺✨

After the live corner, we decided to sing the "Shark Song". I was planning to challenge myself to "play the piano while singing" for the first time in my life!!!!! 😂😂😂 But then my fingers simply refused to move *laughs*_:(´ཀ`」 ∠)  And then I couldn’t even sing. To have such a thing happen to me during a live broadcast?! 😂😂 Thank you so much to everyone who was super kind and continued to cheer me on!!! 🤣 I love you so much!! 🤣🤣 Yurie-chan was also very supportive (^ ∀ ^) Yurie-sensei, thank you so much ... Please let me be your student (.-_-.) Here’s a quote from Yurie-sensei→ "The keyboard just turns into this pure white block so you can’t see anything anymore!!" She encouraged me a lot during this incident. I was really nervous about playing the piano for the first time in 25 years!!! Afterwards, I talked to my mother about this, by the way, she is a piano teacher, and she told me that I was actually able to play really difficult songs when I was in elementary school!!! 😂 Huh, seems like I have a very bad memory! Major fail! Back to being a schoolgirl! !! !! \\\ ٩ (๑` ^ ´๑) ۶ ////

After that, we had a sort of consultation meeting together with everyone to decide on the pattern and colour of my 3rd anniversary T-shirt! I asked everyone to choose from various ideas which I had thought about in advance (^-^) As a result, we decided to make a T-shirt with my drawing of a velociraptor on the front and the music sheet of our "Shark Song" on the back. Now I am trying my best to create this new character 😋 The production process is of the highest quality so please look forward to it!!! By the way, you don't have to worry, the drawing that you see here will NOT be the one that ends up on the T-shirt (that was my improvised drawing of a dinosaur during the live broadcast.)

I will leave it at that for today. It’s still cold outside so everyone, take care of yourself stay healthy \ (^-^) /

Well, until next time~ ☆ (*'▽' *) /

*** Wakana ***