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#and this isn’t even the production i want to be in more!!
mywritersmind · 7 hours
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WINNING KISS - LN4
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summary : lando isn’t used to being a human mirror, but when a pretty girls tells him to hunch down and let her fix her lipstick in the reflection of his glasses, he’s more than happy to oblige.
listen up : no warnings!!
word count : 750
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I can practically feel the music through my veins. The lights of the club are flashing and my friends are laughing and swinging shots back.
I won today. Singapore has been fucking amazing honestly. Besides the whole drowning in sweat thing.
“So…” Max Fewtrell claps a hand on my shoulder, “Taking a girl home tonight, winner?” He teases me as I roll my eyes and sip my drink, “What- You too tired?” he fakes a frown. I didn’t really want to go out tonight but decided it’s sort of a one in a lifetime thing.
“Go find your girlfriend, idiot.” I eye him.
He throws up his arms and laughs, “Gladly!” As he walks away I feel a hand on my shoulder, spinning me around. I’m surprised who did it had such force for being so small.
A girl stands in front of me, a pencil in hand and for a second I think she’s going to ask for an autograph, “Bend down a bit!” She tugs on my shirt and I do as I'm told because I'm genuinely so confused and the pretty girl means business.
She takes the sunglasses from my head and pushes them over my eyes, looking directly into them and bringing the pencil to her lips.
The ‘pencil’, I now realize, it’s a makeup product and deposits a dark color to her lips as she uses me as her mirror.
As she’s stood in front of me, my eyes can’t help but analyze her. This club is stuffy and smoky but she’s so close I can see everything she has on.
She’s got messy brown hair, silver jewelry, a mini skirt, a fur jacket, and a white corset top. Something about her feels magnetic. She’s stunning.
My eyes go to her lips which she smacks together before pulling out a proper lipstick, as she runs the makeup over her lips I start to smile a bit. She finishes quickly and doesn’t pauses as she starts to place the makeup back in her back.
I slide the glasses down to hang around my neck, I see the recognition appear on her face, “Shit.” She says confidently, “You’re that guy!”
I laugh a bit, standing up straighter and looking down at her, “Nice to meet you too.”
“Sorry! Everyone’s been talking about you today!” My tongue runs over my teeth, smiling a bit, “Thanks for being my mirror. And- congrats, I guess?”
“Thank you. And no problem, I’d never deprive a pretty girl of her lipstick rights.” This makes her laugh and fuck I want to keep her laughing.
She gets a look in her eye, her arms behind her, and her eyes staring up at me, “Well I appreciate it. Like it?” I look at her lips again and I’m beginning to think this is a trick just to make me want to kiss her.
“I do. It suits you.” Her lips pull into a wide smile and she steps a bit closer. “You know- people are talking about me for a reason.” I say, building myself up a bit.
She squints, “Right… A win?” I nod, “You’re celebrating then?”
I nod again, “A bit boring though… if only there was a girl to make my night better.”
She scoffs, “Suppose you want a winning kiss then?” I eye her, sipping my drink once more. My eyes flick to her lips but she doesn’t stop looking at me.
“I mean- your lipstick would look great on me.” I say smugly as she stops herself from smiling, humming and nodding.
“Would it?” She says into my ear, the club getting louder with the music.
“Suppose we’ll have to check and see.” I say in her ear this time and when I pull back, I can tell she’s trying to figure me out.
She hums again, leaning in close and slipping her hand onto my neck. Her cool rings practically sting my hot skin. She turns my head slightly, I feel her stand taller to softly kiss my cheek.
When she pulls away, I’m smirking again, “Let me get your number.” I don’t even ask it as a question.
She pulls the lipliner out of her bag once more, uncapping it with her teeth and taking my arm. She scrolls the numbers slowly against my arm, holding me close.
When she’s done and there’s red numbers up my arm, she closes the product and smiles kindly, saying “Congratulations, winner.” before walking away.
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i-like-forcefem · 1 day
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PURELY hypothetically speaking, how EXACTLY would you go about forcefemming a guy who’s sooo masc, like he thinks he’s the ALPHA SHIT, he thinks he pulls all the ladies and is the most manly man to ever man… and turning “him” into an adorable little girly princess :3c asking for a friend
For a hard boiled egg like this it’s very important to get her alone in an isolated location for an extended period of time! It always takes a little longer then they’ve got pride, but honestly that makes it so so much more fun when they crack
It’s a bit of a staple, but I think I’ll use my Basement, yes it’s generic, but it’s tried and true, and a girl like this isn’t a time to experiment
Getting her to the basement is usually easy enough, just invite her over for tea or something and apply a little posion of your choice that will have her immobilised, sleepy pills work, but I personally prefer it when you can see the fear in her eyes when they get fully paralysed
I always have my basement prepared for new arrivals, this means a firm lock, and plenty of hand cuffs around the walls and girly furniture for if I want to move her around
The first time she wakes up is always so important and so so fun, so I’ll pick out a good spot to tie her up, I think the plushy couch would be good for this cutie, and make sure to pick a good outfit
For a girl like this I think it’d be best to start with her in just a pair of pink panties, just being handcuffed in a hugging position with a plushy against her skin should be enough embarrassment for the wake up, I’ll also be sure to use my princess gag just to make her first impressions extra cute as she makes muffled screeches
Then I’ll wait till she wakes up, I usually monitor a camera from outside the room and wait to enter, I want her to get a feel for the room and her situation before she sees me, 2 minutes is usually enough for her to glance around the overly girly room, notice she’s tied up, and to start her muffled screams
Then I’ll calmly enter and tell her how she’s my doll now, she’ll have objections of course, being a big bugle “man”, but it’s pretty hard to do anything about your situation when tied up like that
And then I’ll play it slow
I think I can have her docile by the end of the day, dress her up in her first dress (the basement can get very cold so if she doesn’t want to wear her dress that’s fine by me, but she’ll give in by the end of the second day, and to survive that long I’ll probably get some adorable footage of her willingly snuggling up with her many many plushies, hard to think a “man” would do that)
Any food I give her will obviously have hrt inserted into it, but in this case in particular I want to try something new, next to her (estrogen filled) meals I’ll also give her some placebo pills I’ll tell her are actually hrt, and if she’s a Good Girl and takes her pills she’ll be rewarded
Obviously she’ll refuse at first, willingly taking pills is one of the hardest milestones for a girl to pass
But always giving her the option always gives me to opportunity to punish her, and to tell her just how easy it’d be if she just submitted, became my pretty little girl
Now some of the girls have a surprising amount of determination to not become happy, so this might take a while, which is why I’ll give her her hrt anyway
Since it will be so so fun to tease her for it, I could maybe even gaslight her into thinking she might be taking the pills anyway, or her body wants to become a girl so so bad that’s it’s making estrogen all on its own
You’d be surprised how much gaslighting you can get away with if you’re a persons only outside contact
So… I’ve got some plans to say the least!!! I’ve got a whole laundry list of activities we could try every week to keep it fresh (from shock collars to vibrators to bondage, to “toy” pink weightlifting products that are 10 times the weight it says on the box, I will have so much fun breaking her :3)
Now do you have any idea where this hypothetical person is? And do they prefer tea or coffee?
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glass--beach · 7 hours
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hi do you like ok computer (1997)
because i really just don't get it (especially as the second-best album of all time) but i reeeally want to & i respect your opinion on that a lot
yea that album kinda changed the course of my life lol. wall of text incoming
first - don’t let rym or aoty or whatever tell you what’s good and what isn’t, everybody’s got their own taste & criticisms that go against the grain are very important!! i will say anything that’s that consistently highly rated across different websites & publications is probably undeniably significant and worth listening to. whether listening feels like discovering a new favorite or sitting through a history lesson is where taste comes in. it’s important to interrogate the canon too as there is an enormous amount of implicit bias in what even gets in front of critics and in the metrics they grade music by. review aggregate sites have democratized this process a bit & all the good and bad of democracy has come with that lol.
so, the album gets praised for a couple of reasons - its innovative production, its commentary on the historical zeitgeist, and the pop appeal of much of the songwriting.
production - the album makes heavy use of cutting edge effects units, digital editing, computer trackers, sampling, and even features little bits of voice synthesis. most of it is stuff that had existed in music before radiohead, artists like aphex twin (and much of the rest of warp records’ 90s catalog) and bjork were ahead of the curve in a lot of the aesthetic aspects of okc and had influenced radiohead a lot, which is even more evident on their followup kid a. radiohead was not breaking new ground in using these sounds, but they were among the first to put it all in a rock context, taking cues from the weirder cuts on the beatles’ white album, the experimental “krautrock” band can, and miles davis’ classic jazz fusion album bitches brew.
context - radiohead had grown up during the decline of much of the social democratic programs that had helped to facilitate the education and performing careers of much of their early influences such as joy division and the smiths. by the time okc was being written they had lived through the austerity of the thatcher era, the fall of the soviet union, and now were watching the labour party turn increasingly neoliberal under tony blair. there was a general sentiment in the west that the progress of history had slowed or even stopped in favor of the neoliberal order. at the same time, tech was booming and computers were starting to find their way into more aspects of daily life. the album imagines a boring dystopia, where machines are rabidly advancing but humans are stuck in stasis. a major connecting theme is infrastructure - the airbag through which thom yorke is “born again,” the “cracks in the pavement,” the family politics that separate romeo and juliet in exit music, the mechanical voice of fitter happier giving contradictory directions for maintaining the status quo. even the escapist fantasy of no surprises comes in the form of carbon monoxide. and then, the record ends with the “ding” of an appliance that has completed its task.
songwriting - the band’s previous album the bends really is a pop masterpiece. i recommend it to anybody who wants to get into radiohead but doesn’t vibe with their later work. okc expands that compositional style through, for one thing, the more apparent influence of classical music on tracks like paranoid android or the Chopin homage exit music; let down even features polymetric layering characteristic of Steve Reich. it also features some songs that are too good to even need to push the envelope much, like karma police or one of my favorites, no surprises, which seems to reference the beach boys’ wouldn’t it be nice or the velvet underground’s sunday morning.
to be honest, i like okc mostly because it really spoke to me at a formative time in my life, when i was like 15 and felt heavily disconnected from the world around me. the album deals with those feelings in a very different context but it’s a feeling many people can relate to for many different reasons - i was closeted in a conservative culture, not a depressed british rock star lol. it also was an excellent gateway into many of the bands’ influences, who are also favorites of mine now. most people who love the album don’t really go as deep as i like to with understanding it, but maybe what i said here will give you something else to listen for, idk. maybe you just gave me an excuse to infodump about an album i love lol :)
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bellewintersroe · 2 days
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Hey, there! I have a BoB headcanons request that is a bit angsty/heavy so if you don’t feel like doing it, I completely understand! I was just wondering how the easy boys would go about trying to comfort a reader with guilt/trauma from either killing a German soldier (like Winters when he shoots that one SS soldier) or not being able to save a fellow soldier if you’d like to go the nurse route. I’d just love some Winters and Eugene comfort!! Thank you!🫶
Heyyy so sorry for the slow reply!! Thank you, this is such a good request!!! I’ve combined both your ideas for the diff guys- I hope you enjoy!
Tw - talks of death, guilt, trauma, ptsd, war, etc.
BoB Headcanons - How they comfort you
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Eugene Roe:
As a fellow medic, Gene understands completely what you’re doing when you start shutting yourself away.
After leaving Bastogne you didn’t actually think things could get much worse, but when you lose Jackson in the dingy basement in the middle of Haguenau - let’s just say you don’t take it well.
“It woulda’ happened anyway… it’s not your fault.” Gene would remind.
You’d sigh with a heavy heart and attempt to leave any kind of confrontation.
“Gene you weren’t the one assigned to take care of them. He died under my watch, I didn’t do good enough.”
Not only are you heavily burdened by Jackson’s death, but you’re also exhausted and cold and hungry. Gene at first would watch from afar with a furrow between his brow until enough was enough and he confronted you.
He’d find a way to pull you back in, he’d wrap blankets around your shoulders when you’re just sat staring into space. Or he’d force Hershey bars into your pocket, practically begging you to eat.
“It’s my fault.” You’d tell him.
Gene just takes the honest route, he knows that’s better than blatantly trying to soften the blow with anything else.
“Jackson woulda died anyway. I saw what happened and… you could’ve tried everything n’ he wouldn’t have made it…”
If you need him to go into technical medical talk he would. He’d do anything, he’s the type of guy to sit talking with you for hours.
Huge empathetic so cannot stand the idea of you being troubled by this or taking the blame.
If the two of you aren’t already together then he’s a little more careful to not overstep boundaries, but he 1000% keeps the blanket wrapped over your shoulders in place by holding it there with an arm over you. Even if his hand is freezing.
Dick Winters:
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It maybe happens around Bastogne? You happen to fire at the Germans and when you guys go look after, one of them is just a kid.
Let’s say he’s nowhere near older than twenty, still in his teens, and you’re absolutely horrified from the second you find this out.
It makes you freak tf out and the men bundle you back to the line pretty fast, they all know what it feels like, that guilt ravishing them alive. And Winters especially understands the exact thing you’ve been through.
I feel like he’d find out pretty fast, the two of you are in a private relationship that can’t be openly shown out on the field.
He’d take a sensible approach, despite being oh so worried.
Has you come sit in his and Lewis’ tent at CP.
Would offer you a drink, food, another coat, new boots, worries that you need feminine products? Idk the man just wants to take care of u ok.
When it comes to it and you say no to everything he simply sits besides you and just looks over your face.
Then he opens up about Holland and how he shot another soldier, just a kid. It’s relatable and the feelings he talks about are exactly what you’re experiencing.
If you get upset he can’t engulf you into the hug he wants, but he deffo squeezes you with an arm around you, encouraging you to know this isn’t your fault.
Extremely mindful of you for the following days after. If you wanna go off the line then he does that, if you wanna go for a walk then he makes somebody’s with you at all times.
Super super emotionally intelligent and would support you through anything.
Joe Liebgott:
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Probs walks into the quiet aid station all loud mouthed and hollering about something irrelevant. He knew you were on shift tonight with one other nurse who’s occupied upstairs in the building. Your arrival in Austria luckily called for a lot less gruesome wounds and gory deaths- but every now and then, someone slipped through your fingers.
Your head snaps up, away from the patient who lay still before you. Your eyes are full of tears and at the sight of Joe, you begin to sob.
“What is it-” immediately goes to run forwards, but then he clicks when he noticed the bloodied man below you. Your hands are covered in crimson, trembling and it’s smeared all over your uniform.
Realises pretty quick what’s happened.
“I couldn’t save him, Joe.” You wept. “Nobody came to help.”
Understandably Joes first reaction is to throw a fit that nobody else was here to help you- but then he takes in your broken expression once more and remembers where they were. Things like this just happened out here.
“Okay, baby.” He’d sooth, approaching you as carefully as possible. He’d take your hands in his and meet your gaze. “Let me help you.”
You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t be the biggest sweetheart ever?
He’d wash your hands for you, rubbing his thumb gently over each patch of skin, then he’d get help from another medic, a little pissed that nobody came to help. After that he’d tell whoever’s in charge you’re done off shift and take you back to your room (screw fraternisation rules, Joe doesn’t follow them, not when it comes to you).
He’d pretty soon find out that the guy on the table had a burst artery, whilst he’s undressing you from your stained uniform, he’d tut to himself gently.
“Somethin’ like that happens n’ they’re gone. There wasn’t anything you coulda’ done.”
“No but- I could’ve tried! If somebody helped then I could’ve done it! We’re not in Bastogne anymore I should’ve been able to help!”
“Y/n, you know you can’t think like that.”
Wouldn’t allow it for a second that you blamed yourself, it physically pains him that you’re sobbing and shaking, Joe holds you close and just lets you get it all out, feeling pretty revengeful for whoever left you alone that night.
“It’s all my fault, Joe…”
“No… no, sweetheart. C’mere, the guy was a dead man the second he got hit..”
The best with comforting you with words, if he needs to be a little harsh to get it through to you that it’s not your fault he will- but he won’t allow it for a second that you take any form of blame for this.
It hurts him to know it’s hurting you.
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thelonelyshore-if · 19 hours
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Yasmin nsfw alphabet please?
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Okay I have finally finished Yasmin's alphabet I'm so sorry it took so long y'all. It's below the cut <3
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Sex hypes Yasmin up, and she’s not really a cuddler. She usually feels very productive afterwards so she might get right back to her day, but she isn’t opposed to cuddling, if that’s what her partner wants. Especially if it’s later at night and they can fall asleep together.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Yasmin likes her thighs and hips quite a bit. On a partner, she's a sucker for lips.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
She has very little opinion on cum on her own, but if it’s something her partner is into she’s perfectly willing to put on a show. Licking someone/a toy clean, tasting her own cum, or her partner’s–while it isn’t a turn on of hers, it can be plenty fun if the audience is into it.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
There are a few people in town she occasionally sleeps with. There aren't any feelings involved–it's just some casual fun–but all parties agree it's best to keep this quiet. Once MC is in the picture, though, she doesn't really have a desire to see any of them anymore. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Very experienced! Yasmin enjoys sex. She's good at it, and definitely knows what she's doing. 
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
If she's bottoming she enjoys riding her partner or otherwise still physically being on top. When she's topping she prefers either missionary or doggystyle, depending on the day. 
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
She's very playful and teasing, but typically in a flirty/sexy way. She isn't so much into joking around in bed; but she isn’t deadpan, either. Sex is supposed to be fun!
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Depends on the season–if it’s summer she keeps her bikini line very neat and might even style further, if the mood strikes her; if it’s winter, though, she simply keeps things trimmed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Yasmin, for all of her ‘I only want to be friends with benefits’, is intense in bed. She can be lighthearted and sexy and teasing, yeah, but she gets into it in a major way. She can be very romantic when lost in the moment, but typically brushes it off afterwards. You were just having fun, yeah? Later in the story, though, if MC pursues a romantic relationship with her, she can be veeeerry romantic in bed. Doting and sweet, when she wants to be.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
She enjoys it, but not as much as sex. Touching herself is fun, and she does it well, but give her a partner any day. Still, it’s a good way to relieve some stress or have some fun if she’s stuck at home for whatever reason.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Yas is fairly dominant, and she loves being in charge and taking care of her partner. She’s into leather and some light BDSM and punishment and making her partner beg. She has a strap that she gets as lot of use out of. At the same time, she likes doting on her partner, praising them, etc. She’s flexible <3
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
At home…………in theory. She’s a private person, since her reputation in town is important to her, so if asked she’d claim that she’s only really into private sex. Now, that being said, sometimes the mood strikes you, and if your car is parked somewhere fairly hidden…well. What happens, happens ;)
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Passion and talent both really turn her on. She likes watching someone do something that they’re skilled at, especially if it’s something like a sport or performance. It’s sexy, when somebody cares about things. Also she’s just a flirty person overall, teasing one another also really gets her going.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Roleplay is fun in theory, but she can’t take it seriously in practice. She’s tried it a few times but as soon as either she or her partner started ‘acting’ she would just burst into laughter. It just kills the mood for her.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Big fan lmao. Yasmin’s favorite thing is watching someone suck off her strap, but she enjoys getting eaten out, too. She likes giving, as well, but does prefer to receive, generally speaking.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Whatever you want, babe ;)
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Yas loves quickies. Sneaking away for a quick fuck is exciting and hot, and it can be kind of fun to see what you can get away with. 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
She’s down for experimenting and risk-taking! She likes changing things up, and is always interested in trying new things; though she is also comfortable sticking with the usual, for the most part.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
As many as her partner can handle. Yas is a big fan of multiple orgasms–giving, especially, if her partner is someone who can have them. At the same time, she’s a fan of quickies, as mentioned, so she’s perfectly happy with something short and sweet, as well.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Oh yeah she loves toys. She has a few straps she’s a big fan of, and a collection of other gear she gets a lot of use out of. She enjoys her own toys, of course, but also does really like using them on her partner.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Depends on how into it her partner is. Yasmin enjoys teasing, but if the person she’s with isn’t super enthused by the idea, she’d rather just get down to it. And she doesn’t enjoy being teased at all.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Oh Yas is super loud in bed lol. Like, she can be quiet and subtle–especially if she’s being a little irresponsible and isn’t at home–but she likes being able to talk and moan as she pleases.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Yasmin is a huge fan of marking and being marked, but only where nobody can see. It turns her on to know that either she’s been marked, or that she’s marked her partner, and they’re the only people who know. Like a secret little show of ownership. She thinks it’s hot (and also cute, in a way).
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Yasmin loves her body and isn’t shy about showing it off, especially to somebody she’s sleeping with. She’s curvy, with stretch marks on her hips, stomach, and ass. She has a few moles scattered across her body, and shaves off most of her body hair (unless it’s winter).
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Very. She likes sex, it makes her feel good, and she enjoys doing it as frequently as she can.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Yas basically can’t sleep afterwards. Instead she’s often energized. This can cause issues if she’s had sex right before bed, but she’s a big fan of taking a shower with her partner to wind down and then falling asleep together <3
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pallases · 1 year
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AUDITIONS!!!!
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asimplearchivist · 8 months
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*remembers that I have WIPs that I inadvertently failed to update over break*
*realizes I start back to uni for the spring semester in two days*
*resists the instinctual urge to hate myself for lack of creativity and motivation on the writing front*
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the-trans-dragon · 1 year
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It’s fucking annoying that upper management won’t let me off light duty, but being forbidden to do my old duties and being scolded for doing any extra work sure has forced me to stop being a hardworking dedicated diligent employee.
Yesterday I made a cute little paper chain, using long strips I cut from a torn paper bag, and using some techniques I invented to hold it together without any additional materials (I’m sure my techniques are old and very simple compared to more advanced stuff, but I’m having so much fun trying to reinvent things purely by experimenting around). I threw it away in a specific place to guarantee it won’t be seen by The Manager Who Deadpan Threatens To Kill Me For Small Mistakes I Make Because I Wasn’t Ever Trained For This Job Position.
This morning I was getting ready for work and my chronic illness flared up, and I was in so much pain that I couldn’t stop my throat from trying to scream. Normally I just ignore it and go to work, even though it means risking my health and creating a small but serious possibility of ending up in emergency surgery, but today? I called in sick.
I should write my manager a thank you letter. “Thank you for saying you’d kill me if I ran out of quarters again. And for always assuring me that I’m doing everything wrong. It’s good to know I’ll never be adequate for you, because I’m finally learning to prioritize myself over everything else. I still get scolded for it, but at least I benefit from caring about myself, unlike when I care about my job and put all of my effort into doing as much work as possible.
And thank you for teaching me how to ignore the opinions of others. I never did figure out how to handle being treated worthless—I always stood up for myself, even when it meant risking my life. But I finally figured out how to say “Yes” and “Okay.” The trick is: I don’t have to mean it, just say it. It’s okay to lie to people. You taught me that if have to pick between arguing and lying, I should just lie. You always think I’m lying anyways, so I know you don’t believe it, but I guess it imitates respect enough to be satisfactory.
I realize this lesson is one that many people learn during childhood, so I hope you’ll forgive me for not knowing it in advance. Thank you for the miraculous opportunity to make up for my messy childhood.”
#sorenhoots#I’m dying#the most frustrating thing is that I have done the work necessary to understand her logic and her reasoning and to understand why she is#correct according to her logic. and I agree! she is using logic that makes her life much easier and more efficient. it’s even#something I think is smart and that I respect and that I want to change my behavior to fit with#but it takes SO MUCH effort to do that. and I can’t do it with EVERYTHING she says because half the time I don’t even know what she’s saying#telling me I’m not allowed to use the computer and then getting mad that I called for a manager instead of using the computer#I’m not allowed to ask for help but I’m not allowed to help myself.#I’m not allowed to open MSpaint while I clean lotion off the touchscreen but I’m not allowed to disable the touchscreen to clean it.#‘​you’re not allowed to look things up in the computer’ one day but the next day it’s ‘why didn’t you just look it up?’#‘you should know what products we have’ but also ‘you can’t be in the isles on breaks.#you have to be in the break room.’ girl what.#and I am LEARNING that there isn’t a way to be a good employee for her. which I hate because I want to be good. even at silly tasks like#work. and I love following arbitrary rules even! I do nuzlocke because it’s fun to make things harder for myself for no reason.#but I can’t even do that—there isn’t a way to follow contradictory rules and I can’t keep feeling bad for that#the lesson is: just say Okay. if you want to keep doing it then learn to do it sneaky. if it’s not worth it then find something else to do.#but my brain isn’t wired for that. my brain wants to solve it like a puzzle. I want to learn and grow. but this isn’t the place to grow.#no growing allowed. youre expected to learn but you can’t learn invalid lessons that contradict each other. you’re just supposed to learn to#SEEM like you learned. you’re not allowed to ask for help or clarification. that’s disrespectful.#she is easy to respect. she’s easy to need. she does so much to make our lives better and safer. but she also just fucking#lashes. the lesson is: step away from the person lashing out. you can’t become worthy.#I am still learning the lesson.
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fandom-fae · 2 years
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why can’t i just be a normal fucking person
#vent vent vent#rant rant rant#moi#feels#uh yeah#i don’t know how many times i’ve cried today but it was more than it shoudlve been#i know this isn’t a productive or good way of thinking but i wish i was normal#yk cis neurotypical a more standard body type boring interests normal and well regulated emotions yk stuff like that? :’)#i hate that [she] hurt my feelings and barely apologized and i’m here thinking aboit apologizing for my feelings being hurt in the first#place. like fuck. why am i like this? if only i was neurotypical my reaction probably wouldn’t have been so strong and i couldve hid that#i felt hurt at all and she wouldn’t have known and i wouldn’t have spent the entire lesson sitting there and being such a stupid fucking#heulsuse and i wouldve been able to go home and shower without taking 2 hours in the shower bc i was crying too much#and i wouldn’t have a fucking headache right now because i wouldn’t have cried#and it wouldn’t have been an issue anyway because it woudlve never come up in the conversation because if i was cis i wouldn’t even fucking#care (or maybe i would but it wouldn’t hurt like it did) and i hate being in the closet honestly#i hate this cisheteronormative society so much because if it wasn’t like that i wouldn’t have to feel like this right now because the whole#cause would be gone#also fuck the mottokomittee for that stupid motto they came up with#this whole thing is making me want to not exist honestly like fuck all of this#and also. fuck k from that komitee especially i wouldn’t be surprised if she came up with that supid motto. i mean she is the one who used#to be friends with that terf before she left so yk. fuck k. but like actually i don’t know what to do#i wish i wasn’t like this#and im so sorry to anyone reading this#i jeut really needed to let this all go and its kinda painful and idk what#to do anymore#i don’t want to just miss part of the mottowoche later but i also really don’t want to have to misgender myself in front of everyone in a#situation that will literally be filmed and watcged by almost the entire school#i hate this so much#like i dislike it as a motto on its own because its stupid and uncreative but also because its rly cisnormative and i hate it as a nonbinary#person because i’m in the closet and definitely not about to out myself over thsi motto but i also fucking refuse to do this
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devils-little-sista · 2 years
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#I really want to try straight hair shampoo and conditioner for my hair#everything online says not to but all the curly hair products make my hair scrunch up and dry out and it’s so unmanageable#I don’t know what to do with my curly hair everything everybody tells me to use doesn’t work on it#mom says I have her hair yet all the stuff she uses has totally different results on mine#always hated my cause I never figured out how to do it#so I don’t know what to with it I just put it in a ponytail#but I’m sick of it#I want to do something else with it#I can’t figure out if I want it long enough to put it in updos to keep it out of my face or if I want it short enough to stay out of my face#cause hate my hair getting close to my face#I don’t know what to do nobody’s ever let me grow it long enough to keep in updos and stuff#and their fine with letting me cut it shorter but idk I’m scared that’ll make it worse#why won’t they let me have long hair like I want#even if I don’t know exactly how to deal with it it would still be in updos or at least ponytails every time I go out as it always is#I want to it longer so I can do more styles with it and stuff but they’re refuse for some reason#and I want to use straight hair shampoo and conditioner at least once just to see what it does#but they refuse to let me try anything with my hair that isn’t a curly hair product or method#they’ve never been happy with my hair and I haven’t either#news flash parental figures none of the curly hair products and methods I’ve been using for 20 have ever worked on my hair#maybe it’s time to try something out of the curly hair box#for once in my life#and every other time I complain to them I want to try something new they tell me to just keep it straightened as if it’s that simple#so I tell them that’s a lot of extra work even tho I do really like how my hair looks straightened when I do it myself#I’m too lazy to do all of that on a regular basis it takes me four fucking hours to straighten my hair there’s so much of it#but yeah maybe I can work myself to exaustion and give my hair permanent heat damage to keep it straightened every day#and then I can try the straight hair products and stuff#I’m just sick of it I hate it so much#if keeping it straightened and using straight hair products on it don’t work then I might just shave it without permission cause I’m Tired#im starting to think a blow dryer might be necessary for this hair journey#they didnt do much to my hair when I was a kid but I haven’t tried one in a long time
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there's something in the water that's specifically affecting green haired princesses who have purple eyes and also bpd (momochi and hiyori)
#I think I was able to show a new side of myself this time >< Please give it a listen” and doing spells on cheers to bless their dreams#even though both of her songs seem to be angsty and about her family#meanwhile hiyori the bitch was like#like with momochi there was her tweeting that the time for dreams is over (and yakouka possibly representing her current mental health)#and for hiyori it's her mental breakdown in accept my love#and also them brushing it off like it's nothing#like when the teaser dropped momochi tweeted something like#Life isn’t all about fun. There’s times where you feel depressed and like you want to cry.#When that happens it’s good to look at me. Because I’m the one who shines bright like the sun☆#it’s good to look at me. Because I’m the one who shines bright like the sun☆#Listen to my songs and follow the productions I appear in—#Just imitate me and smile! Since I always have a smile on my face!"#like girl the song was you spiraling over your loved ones becoming independant and no one needing your love even though she accepted that's#now her only role in life (to love and be loved)#like no one was concerned??? esp with the contrast with fantastic days#there's something poetic about her feeling she's no longer useful and her regression when in !! she suddenly became nicer with no explanati#and also her getting 0 song event 4*s and that eden is no longer relying on her (legit did nothing important in most of the eden events)#including ss finals with the dumbass oracles like the story was fucking boring and gatekeeper legit got more importance than tori and hiyor#anyway happy bday to my beautiful princess with a disorder#they should lock momochi and hiyori in a room (they both would somehow take each other out even though momochi is built like a paper straw#and hiyori is not strong at all the heaviest thing she wants to carry is her chopsticks)#in an alternate universe hanae couldve been voicing momochi instead of yuu and it would make this post even funnier
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thebibliosphere · 2 months
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He sounded interested and even concerned. I thought he had been touched by what the doctor and advocates in the meeting had just shared about their journey with their patients and their own family members. But I was wrong.
“Those people . . . ” Donald said, trailing off. “The shape they’re in, all the expenses, maybe those kinds of people should just die.”
I truly did not know what to say. He was talking about expenses. We were talking about human lives. For Donald, I think it really was about the expenses, even though we were there to talk about efficiencies, smarter investments, and human dignity.
I turned and walked away
[from later in the article]
Donald took a second as if he was thinking about the whole situation.
“I don’t know,” he finally said, letting out a sigh. “He doesn’t recognize you. Maybe you should just let him die and move down to Florida.”
Wait! What did he just say? That my son doesn’t recognize me? That I should just let him die?
Did he really just say that? That I should let my son die . . . so I could move down to Florida?
Really?
[...]
Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised to hear Donald say that. It wasn’t far off from what he’d said that day in the Oval Office after our meeting with the advocates. Only that time, it was other people’s children who should die. This time, it was my son.
When you’re legitimately so evil you tell a parent, your own fucking nephew, to their face that it’d be more cost-effective to let their child die because they are disabled.
Honestly, it's not the ableism or eugenics that shocks me. Donald Trump has shown who he is time and time again. I guess what got me was that he’d be willing to hold the same views for family members.
Usually these types of people make exceptions for their own. “It’s not immoral if it’s my abortion, I’m only doing this because I have no choice, mine is necessary” kind of thing.
But nope. Donald just straight up thinks his great nephew should die because it’s expensive to keep him alive.
Jesus Wept.
Fucking vote. Please, I’m begging you. As a disabled immigrant who isn’t able to vote I see so many people saying they’re going to boycott the election by not voting and I want to scream.
You boycott products by withholding money.
Not voting in elections only disenfranchises yourself. You’re not protesting. You’re giving tyrants power.
Please vote like people’s lives depend on it because they do.
If you need help figuring out how to register I will help you but please. Please vote.
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ujuro · 7 months
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So far in my deep dive into the discography of alt-idol label lonesome record I’ve gotten
-well-crafted pop punk in Malcolm mask McLaren
-one of the best active shoegaze acts in general with ray
-off-kilter pop rock explorations that are only really found in idoldom with nilkly
-the brand of pop rock and math rock rhythms that have become common in jpop with the rise of vocaloid producers working with older jrock ideas reworked for idol pop with ringwanderung and yumegiwa last girl
-classic lo-fi and low budget idol goodness in pomero
-a perfect example of the typical sound of chika idols in anthurium
-my favorite group musically maybe ever in daidaidai (rip)
-my current favorite active group musically in situasion
-ultra-orthodox idols who take advantage of that creatively in later releases in nuance and tiptoe
-an example of a common idol brief flash in the pan in anchirochii
-and eisei to karatea which is good but also kinda normal idol pop rock alsjdjdhdhd
Anyway idols are amazing
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chastiefoul · 8 months
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love and deepspace men when you (playfully) reject their kiss ft. zayne, xavier, rafayel
fluff, fluff, FLUFF
zayne
his kiss landed on the outer corner of your lips instead as you turned away at the very last second as he leaned in
he just stared at you for a solid five seconds.
“was this because i left you on read this afternoon?” his voice was soft, uncertainty danced across his feature. you just shrugged, turning away from him to hide the smile you’ve been trying really hard to suppress.
he grabbed a hold of your waist first, keeping you in place. he saw the shameless smile on your face, couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle of his own. “should’ve known.”
you laughed, “but you did left me on read, how dare you?” his thumb moved up and down on your side as he made no change on his expression, like doing a gesture he didn’t even realize doing it. “alright then, i apologize for not replying within twenty minutes, since i did give you a call as soon as i was available.”
you put your hands on either side of his cheeks, he leaned into the touch. of course, it didn’t bothered you one bit when he didn’t reply right away since you knew very well how demanding his job was.
you planted a sweet kiss on his lips, you could feel his little smile as you pulled away. “good work today, zayne.”
“hm, then surely you would indulge me more of that for a moment longer?”
xavier
he’s quiet for a moment; he did kiss you, but he didn’t know why you’d turn your head on the last second like that as he kissed you on the cheek instead.
he casted his gaze downwards, looking like a rejected kitten in a pouring rain searching for its owner.
your heart squeezed at the adorable act, lifting his chin with your palm. he tilted his head questioningly, the words was obvious on his face. did i do something wrong today? were you mad?
xavier stared at you as he recalled today’s events, but he reached his wits end pretty fast since he still had no idea why you’d reject his kiss.
you then giggled at his clueless expression, and xavier immediately understood that you’re being playful. he let out a little sigh of relief, embracing you. his neck deep at the crook of your neck, his soft hair tickling you in the best way possible.
“you’re too playful at times,” he mumbled, he looked like he had all the peace in the world. “sorry, will you forgive me?” you ran your fingers through the back of his head. “i’ll forgive  you if you promise not to reject my kiss ever again,” he said.
you laughed, “okay then, if you insist.”
rafayel
oh. he looked so offended beyond belief. you’d think someone had insulted his painting; a product from his passion and effort. but to think it’s just a face he made because you didn’t want him to kiss you.
“i see what this is,” he started, the dramatic side of him just wouldn’t let this slide. you challenged, “yeah? what is it?”
“you tell me. this is just the beginning isn’t it. first you reject my kiss, next thing i know you’d be packing your bags, telling me you’ve fallen out of love.” he crossed his arms in front of his chest, his pout was the most exaggerated as it’s ever been.
you had to hold your laugh so hard, you covered your mouth with your fist. “it was just a kiss rafayel, i wasn’t feeling it.” you replied, trying your best to sound serious.
“wasn’t feeling it?” he gasped, like you just insulted his whole entire bloodline. he put up a palm in front of your face, like refraining you to say more controversial things. he took a deep breath to calm himself, “it’s fine, it’s not like i was eager to kiss you either.” he mumbled like he was talking to himself, although it’s obvious he’s being a little loud on purpose. also, lies. he practically bounced on air when he approached you.
finally a laugh escaped you, rafayel looked at you and he just fumed. “just so you know i expect you to make up for all the emotional distress i just went through.” you laughed a little more as you grabbed a hold of his face. “i would kiss you many times to make it up but i think someone just said he wasn’t really that eager to kiss me?” you raised an eyebrow.
his eyes lit up for a moment at the mention of a kiss, and next second he looked around frantically to make an excuse. “it’s okay i understand, fighting that many wanderers who make a lot of strange screeching noises? it’d disturb your hearing a little. i said i was eager to kiss you.” he smiled, nodding to himself. you laughed once more at his ridiculousness.
“sure, let’s go with that excuse.” you kissed him and when you pulled away he held your head, giving you multiple kisses before he let you go with a grin.
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gojonanami · 2 months
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cw: 18+, smut, sex (p in v), cream pie, bed breaking sex (literally), based off a post in a Reddit thread
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“Toru, ngh, please, please—“
“Please what, sweets? You’re going to have to use your words if you want something,” Satoru’s hips roll into you at an agonizingly slow pace, every thrust made you cling to him harder, your nails digging into his back.
“Please, harder, i need to go harder—“
“Heh, so greedy, my girl’s a needy one isn’t she?” And you know he’s not talking about you but your cunt, your dripping wet entrance currently filled up by his dick at the moment, “but I can’t refuse my Princess when you asked so sweetly, can I?”
And he begins to rut into you, fucking you into the mattress as you body wrapped around his for dear life. Fuck, he was so long, the curve of his length reaching every spot that had you nearly seeing white.
“Still s’fucking tight for me, huh?” Your bed frame begins to creak underneath you, as he rails into you, thick cock fucking you open, as the frame rattles against your floor, “that’s it, fuck, s’ perfect for me, good girl,”
And the praise sends a ripple of pleasure up your spine, as his tip begins to hit your cervix, “Toru, s’big, ngh,” and that only seems to make him grow bigger inside you, your warm heat pulling him in deeper. He fucks you even harder, the sounds of skin slapping together ringing in your ears.
He leans back to see where your bodies meet, “Taking me so well, like you were made for me, pretty, hah,” grunts escape his lips, “never gonna let you go, Princess. This pussy, these noises, you — all just for me,”
You moan, nodding, “just for you, Toru. Only ever for you,” and that makes him pull out to the tip only to thrust back in hard.
…maybe a little too hard.
SNAP!
You yelp and he grunts as the bed frame under you both breaks to bits, mattress still in tact as you hold onto him. And you both stare at each other for a moment, a small giggle overcome by the look in his eyes — want.
He pulls out of you, a small whimper at his absence, and he’s yanking the mattress off the wreckage that was formerly your bed frame.
He’s back on top of you in a moment, sinking into you with one thrust, continuing to fuck you hard and fast.
Fuck, that was so fucking hot. You’re close, you can feel the coil of heat in your stomach grow tighter as your hips meet every rough thrust he gives.
“Toru, ‘m close—“ and his fingers reach between your bodies to rub at your clit.
“Cum f’me, cum on my cock, sweetheart,” and you do, walls squeezing his cock, as he fucks you through your orgasm, the creak of the floorboards making you wonder if he’ll fuck you through the floor too. Your toes curl, as you drench his cock with your juices and it’s too much for him
His hips begin to stutter, a low moan leaving his lips, “I’m—“
“Cum inside me, Toru,” and he groans your name, before cumming, warm, thick seed spilling inside you, the sloppy thrusts growing louder as he fucked it deeper inside. And finally he stills, lying beside you, as he eases his cock from inside you, a soft moan at the sight of his seed spilling from your cunt.
Pants fill the silence of the room, eyes shut, until both of your gazes flutter open to glance at the broken bed frame.
“You owe me a new bed frame,” you grumble.
“I’ll buy you a new one every time if we do that again,” and you snort, your eye catching his, until both of you dissolve into laughter.
“You’re a dumbass, Satoru,” and he’s grinning, wrapping his arms around you.
“But I’m your dumbass,” and you roll your eyes, “you’re the one who begged me to fuck you harder,”
“‘Begged?’” You scoffed, “you’re the one who practically seduced me tonight,”
“And you weren’t asking me to by wearing that dress?”
“No, I just—“ and he’s got you pinned under him again in an instant, “Toru—“
“I think we can use our mouths for something much more productive,” he leans down, to meet your lips in a languid kiss, his cock already growing hard against your thigh as a thought occurs to him.
“Is your couch any sturdier than your bed frame?”
(He ends up buying you s lot of new furniture the next day).
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byoldervine · 6 months
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Types Of Writer’s Block (And How To Fix Them)
1. High inspiration, low motivation. You have so many ideas to write, but you just don’t have the motivation to actually get them down, and even if you can make yourself start writing it you’ll often find yourself getting distracted or disengaged in favour of imagining everything playing out
Try just bullet pointing the ideas you have instead of writing them properly, especially if you won’t remember it afterwards if you don’t. At least you’ll have the ideas ready to use when you have the motivation later on
2. Low inspiration, high motivation. You’re all prepared, you’re so pumped to write, you open your document aaaaand… three hours later, that cursor is still blinking at the top of a blank page
RIP pantsers but this is where plotting wins out; refer back to your plans and figure out where to go from here. You can also use your bullet points from the last point if this is applicable
3. No inspiration, no motivation. You don’t have any ideas, you don’t feel like writing, all in all everything is just sucky when you think about it
Make a deal with yourself; usually when I’m feeling this way I can tell myself “Okay, just write anyway for ten minutes and after that, if you really want to stop, you can stop” and then once my ten minutes is up I’ve often found my flow. Just remember that, if you still don’t want to keep writing after your ten minutes is up, don’t keep writing anyway and break your deal - it’ll be harder to make deals with yourself in future if your brain knows you don’t honour them
4. Can’t bridge the gap. When you’re stuck on this one sentence/paragraph that you just don’t know how to progress through. Until you figure it out, productivity has slowed to a halt
Mark it up, bullet point what you want to happen here, then move on. A lot of people don’t know how to keep writing after skipping a part because they don’t know exactly what happened to lead up to this moment - but you have a general idea just like you do for everything else you’re writing, and that’s enough. Just keep it generic and know you can go back to edit later, at the same time as when you’re filling in the blank. It’ll give editing you a clear purpose, if nothing else
5. Perfectionism and self-doubt. You don’t think your writing is perfect first time, so you struggle to accept that it’s anything better than a total failure. Whether or not you’re aware of the fact that this is an unrealistic standard makes no difference
Perfection is stagnant. If you write the perfect story, which would require you to turn a good story into something objective rather than subjective, then after that you’d never write again, because nothing will ever meet that standard again. That or you would only ever write the same kind of stories over and over, never growing or developing as a writer. If you’re looking back on your writing and saying “This is so bad, I hate it”, that’s generally a good thing; it means you’ve grown and improved. Maybe your current writing isn’t bad, if just matched your skill level at the time, and since then you’re able to maintain a higher standard since you’ve learned more about your craft as time went on
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