#bringing those up bc i cant be nostalgic for them

[moonlitlex]

ok the verdict is space babys was fine? and devils chord was also fine? it's just fine i can see what people are enjoying about these episodes but even the elements i'm completely down for just add up together to be kind of underwhelming in the end? and like my expectations were already low but i'm still underwhelmed?

i feel like it's just missed potential. idk. like both these episodes i've felt like oh you could have done more with this premise but instead we don't really get. anything.

the pacing is also just weird. both of them felt way longer than they actually were

[knightzp]

✨🥳🎨

✨️ out of the comments youve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

just two or three???? ive got a lot of lovely comments since i began posting so i just cant choose !!! but i especially love when people comment things like my fic was Exactly what they wanted to read for x characters/ship or when they say it made their day or when they say they hadnt read fics in forever and they decided to open mine and theyre glad they did bc they loved it.... ofc all comments make me always very happy but situations like those bring me a special kind of joy i cant describe.... also i love when people get unhinged on the comments of my fics like aldjkdkdkdk i just Love reading it. i wasnt going to post pics but i spent some time reading all the comments ive ever got and got nostalgic so shoutout to these two people who commented on All the chapters of one of my fics their comments always gave me LIFE

🥳 why did you start writing fanfic?

i already liked writing in general way before writing fics! ive always loved reading since i was a little kid so at some point i just got interested in try working on my own stories and write them down as well! tbh appart from a couple of really short stories i never finished (or really got very long into) anything of what i started writing and now that i think abt it maybe that was bc i started with very high goals and expectatives. and then i got into reading fics and after a year or so of just reading them one day i was like wait i Can write my own stories abt my blorbos too! and i remember i was so excited bc i could write my fave characters in the exact situations i wanted them to be and it also turned out to be So much easier than trying to write original stories bc fics just give you so much more freedom and you dont have to worry abt coming up with characters or places bc theyre already there !! i remember the day i started writing my first fic and i was so happy and excited all the time it was really fun and im so glad i gave it a try bc its now a great hobby of mine <3

🎨 if someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

ooooo i think that would be my killugon dancing au "false steps". theres only so much i can do describing them dancing with my words so it would surely be so nice to actually see art of them dancing and wearing their dancing clothes or costumes......

i also wanna say my ritsumao 5+1 fic bc i love that fic and think it would be so cute like im imagining a big picture with a little drawing of each of the six scenes and 🥺

[clulessmess]

ohhhhhh my fucking god.

I need to get around to making that neocities.

EDIT: um. Ok. Accidentally Posted a vent mid typing

I dont feel like retyping any of that so ill just edit this in the morning since its getting late

So yeah here i go free write venting sawry <3

Just gettin them (unfinished) feelings out

fyi recently decided to check out what neocities is abt after hearing friends gushing abt it n after scrolling around sites I got hyped n decided to make my own neocities after I realized this could possibly solve all my problems sdhkhkfgd

first of all,

............. not to bring this up for the 7848234th time but. yeah Im still having spiraling thoughts abt my girl + the AU. Yes, as I said earlier the intensity of those spirals have died down significantly. but unfortunately its still there, at the back of my mind. and uh oh!!!!!!!!!! unfortunately theres days where it spikes!!!! and frankly brothers i cant take these thoughts anymore,, i need a place to get the fuck away from social media 

I honestly feel thats the reason why I have these thoughts. I haaaate having to fucking overthink posting anything that could be percieved as cringe on my own fucking accounts to prevent the possibility that it could be the post could have me marked as a sort of “lolcow” or laughing stalk known to the internet. I haaaaate that when I have to talk to ppl, fuck even my own online friends, i haveta be walking eggshells via the irony mask and hide shit bc if i feel if i do i have justify my stance to not be seen as cringe!!!!!! I haaaaaaaaaate this fucking terminally online paranoia!!!!!!!!

and I know me saying “I need to get away from social media, im growing paralyzingly sick from my chronically online brainrot” and proceeding to still do this in an another online public space instead of just simply just stop posting abt Her + the AU and maybe even mass delete anything abt them if theyre doing nothing but causing me stress is a weird decision.... but ok.. hear me out

as a creative, the alternative (just mass deleting + stop posting)  is just.....feels so alienating? Like we all crave..an audience??? idk how to fucking explain it but we all like the idea of at least a few ppl liking our stuff? And despite all this headache,,, i still care her 🥺

the thought that this thing I care abt, that I made with my own two hands, that I cannot ever show that to anyone.... thats devestating

I think the reason I keep spiraling is that I feel there is no safe space for me to post abt this. Perhaps specifically fear of the wrong type of ppl catching wind of it.

The current online landscape is fucking hell. Irony poisoned n the standards are so high, ppl will not put up with mediocrity or cringe and they will be LOUD and clear about that.

Not even tumblr is safe.

Neocities though, from what ive seen its the fucking safe haven for self indulgence. Its not uncommon for ppl to have these things called "shrines", a small subwebsite within a website commonly used to just like. Infodump abt whatever thing they like, often obscure and maybe a little "cringe" (i dont mean this to insult them but like. Yknow what i mean right)

Additionally, I wont have to worry about the Wrong People" finding out abt me and My Bullshit. Or most anyone discovering me and My Bullshit. Being into neocities is kinda a "niche", most ppl dont know anything abt neocities asides from programming nerds rlly nostalgic for the old days of the internet!

If anyone for whatever reads this made it this far... Yep. I finally actually went through with the decision of deleting any trace of her off both my tumblrs. I will no longer be talking about her on tumblr unless until this game releases.

Its the perfect place to hide her for now....

Besides, ive been let go of the only job my incompetent ass could ever do but probably still fucked up anyways.  Think I need a fucking hobby that could maybe double as a skill so. Why not dust off what little programming stuff I know and expand upon in it in case my moms right and I cant rlly get my art career to pop off

Though... I guess the one downside for this is that while I hopefully wont be able to directly recieve hate about the AU...I dont think I will be able to recieve any possible love for it either.

As much as i hate to sound like some attentionwhore, and as much as i had a crippling fear of being found out by the Wrong People... there is a small inkling hope and..curiosity for people that might like it

Again, neocities isnt well known. The one upside to me posting my GLITCHED shit on tumblr is that this is prrobably? The only place where GLITCHED has an actual fanbase on tumblr, so i could like get engagement (ugh.... Hate phrasing it like that. Like im sort of numbers obsessed influencer. But i cant think of what else to call it. The possibility of the fans + the rare outsider interacting n being able to read nice or funny little notes), so I highly doubt anyone is going to think to click on the link to my Gina shrine since GLITCHED isnt well known either once I finish my neocities. Even if someone was curious enough to find my website + the shrine n wanted to express that they liked it, Neocities doesnt have a built in system where people can send messages to the creator.

I am going to post the link to my neocities, since well. I know that there is a small few who did like her (or just appreciated the passion i had).

[gumdecay]

.

[jaekaicx]

so ive had this idea for an amphibia fangame for a lil while now-

(LONG post)

its based around the idea that sometime after anne got sent back to earth, she decides to sneak out one night to visit sasha and marcys bedrooms and poke through their stuff. this causes a bunch of memories to come back to anne through flashbacks while she tries to process everything thats happened and her feelings abt their friendship.

i was thinking itd be mostly a visual novel type thing. maybe with a few small choices, but the story would be mostly linear. thered be around 3 main story beats: a prologue bit w/ anne sneaking out of her house, marcys bedroom, and sashas bedroom. also one of the main mechanics would be looking at one of their bedrooms and clicking on random objects of importance and triggering a flashback sequence.

it came from the idea that anne will probably try to just shove all her emotions down and try to ignore her feelings abt true colors and everything that went down then. especially with what we saw in the sneak peek, anne will probably try to hide her emotions and bottle them up, which is obviously not healthy. so eventually shes gonna have to work through her emptional baggage and try to process everything.

i havent thought through EVERYTHING just yet, just some more major plot points and maybe one or two ideas for flashbacks. nothing too solid yet. but heres a bit more detailed runthrough of the plot

summary - prologue

so it would start off with anne at home. she and her mom are talking outside annes room. her moms concerned abt how annes been handling everything that happened in amphibia but anne keeps brushing everything off. her mom tries to get her to open up, but she keeps dismissing her and eventually shuts herself in her room. after taking a bit to cool off and think anne decides that shes gonna take the night to just ride off her emotions and stop repressing them for once. she also makes an impulsive decision to sneak out and check out marcy and sashas rooms.

anne goes to gather her stuff in her room, and just as shes about to climb out the window, sprig walks in to check on her. hes still rly concerned abt his big sis but he knows he cant stop her. he tries to go with anne, but she tells him she needs to do this on her own. so, sprig lets her go and tries to cover for her while shes gone.

so at this point i’ll probably give the player the choice of whose house to visit first. it doesnt rly impact the story or whatever, but i guess it might have a small emotional impact depending on whose house u choose to go to first??

(quick note: after this bit, there arent too many specific details for the plot and stuff like that. its largely just an overall idea of how the plot is gonna go. and even then, there isnt much to it. i didnt think that far ahead yet, which is why there isnt as much refinement yet. so far i just have general ideas for how annes gonna get to the bedrooms, with a couple of vague flashback ideas. just keep that in mind; this whole thing is still being thought over and planned as im typing this out)

summary - sasha

with sasha, annes still rly conflicted abt how she feels abt her. of course shes still rly hurt by being backstabbed by her twice and swordfighting her as many times. but as much as she hates sasha she cant bring herself to fully give up on sash. she hates her guts but deep down shes still willing to give sash another chance.

there may or may not be a small sequence where anne has to sneak into sashas house, but eventually she works her way into sashas room. im not entirely sure abt the details of sashas house n her family yet. im probably gonna wait for info from s3 until i solidify anything, but for now i do know that sashas family has a big house n theyre probably rich.

so anne goes into sashas room and its been left pretty much untouched ever since annes birthday, save for the few times someone came in to dust things off. again, dont rly have all the details for sashas room, but it kind of has a vibe of controlled chaos, with organized clutter and a bit of a touch of a rebellious teen girl. one detail i do want to have is a calendar opened up to the month the trio disappeared, with annes birthday circled and highlighted so much that its impossible to miss.

the calendar itself might include a flashback. im thinking of also having a varsity jacket and some old stuffed animal be different “artifacts” that trigger their own memories. there’ll be a bunch more, but those are the only ideas i have so far fjsbndnd

summary - marcy

ok so i want to be rly mean about marcys segment: this is going off the theory that marcys parents moved away while the trio was in amphibia.

anne doesnt know this yet tho, so shes in for quite a surprise when she turns onto marcys street to find a realtor sign on the front lawn. the clues are all there: an empty driveway, sign on the lawn, an overall empty vibe coming from the house. but it doesnt completely register at first. its not til anne actually comes up close does she notice the sign.

anne tries to deny it, and decides to prove to herself that “no marcys parents wouldnt do this. theyre not that cruel. im just gonna check marcys room myself.” the front doors locked, so she just goes over to marcys window and climbs in.

but its completely empty.

ok not totally empty, but a lot of marcys furniture and stuff is gone, except for a few stray toys and other “junk.” the home guys (idk what theyre called????) are still kind of in the process of cleaning everything out, so theres still some stuff left here and there around the house. but its still way too empty. and its yet another gut punch for anne.

anne searches the rest of the house a bit more, hoping that shes just hallucinating. but no, marcys parents are really gone. she tried to deny it before, but now she has more of an idea of how shitty the wu parents are. so anne decides to just mope around in marcys old room, checking out the stuff their parents left behind.

maybe she finds an old blanket marcy liked when he was rly young. or an old rubiks cube from marcys vast collection. a cnc figurine, some cards, a pride flag, and old diary? a couple of other old toys, an old report card or two, or maybe even some stray clothes. whatever anne finds, its all thats left of marcy, at least in LA.

it really doesnt leave anne in that much of a better emotional position. she already felt conflicted enough about what happened in true colors and what she found out abt marcy. but seeing even a small glimpse of what marcy was dealing with, it just makes her more confused. marcy was such a sweet kid! theres no way they couldve done anything wrong. yet here anne was, betrayed by both of her childhood friends.

only now is anne really taking the time to process the fact that marcy essentially kidnapped her and sasha with the calamity box. he didnt mean to do it, and theres no way they couldve known the box would actually work, but it doesnt completely excuse marcy. his actions still hurt anne and sash, and while they meant the best of intentions, it didnt rly come through that way.

and now marcy was dead. stabbed in the back by the newt king.

and now annes curled up in an empty bedroom, wrapped up in one of marcys old blankets, trying to wrap her head around her feelings about marcy while reminiscing in the past.

summary - extras/epilogue??

i kind of like the idea that anne ends up drifting off in which ever bedroom ended up being the second one she visited. she slowly comes back to consciousness, with her surroundings feeling somewhat familiar, only to wake up in horror bc “OH SHIT I FORGOT TO GO BACK HOME” im not completely sold on the idea tho bc it feels a bit abrupt and like too much of a tone shift?? idk it doesnt feel exactly right

but anyways, im also playing around with the idea of a small epilogue scene with the calamity trio hanging out in annes room, a good amount of time after amphibia ended. dont know what theyre doing in there, but theyre just chilling and feeling a bit nostalgic i guess.

but uh yeah thats pretty much what ive got for the overall idea. it doesnt feel too out of reach, but somethjng like this would definitely be ambitious. i could mayyyybe handle writing out the vn and drawing the character sprites, but i have no idea how to code a vn or draw detailed backgrounds, both of which would be pretty important to this fangame fjsndj. so i might consider having help with this.

THIS ISNT ANY SORT OF PROMISE OR WHATEVER. id rly love to follow through and make this fangame a thing, but im not making any guarantees. i have no idea if i’ll actually follow through, but i would definitely love to.

who knows. maybe in like a couple years this might actually become a thing. but for now i have no idea

[sugarlove12]

U GUYS DONT THINK I FORGOT TO COMPLETE MY GIVEN SONGS ANALYSIS SERIES! I’m so sorry I’ve been mostly inactive, even with my tumblr friends (I love u guys im sorry😭) but I’m on my 4th year of med school so the past semester was kinda tough, ngl this one is also looking rough but I promise to be more active, now LET’S GO!!!

DISCLAIMER: this analysis isn’t by any means the definite or “real” meaning, this is just my overthinker ass trying to hurt myself more 🤣 so it’s totally ok and normal if u don’t agree or even if it really wasn’t Atsushi’s intention, once again this is just how I perceive the meaning.

Bokura dake no Shudakai

This song is my personal favorite, I remember that back when the movie’d just released and everything was pretty recent, just hearing the beginning would bring me to absolute tears, and that would be enough to cancel my chores for the day (just like Kizuato and Fuyu no Hanashi when I watched the anime for the first time) till this day it makes a pretty big hole in my heart cuz of the beautiful and sad lyrics.

Let’s start with the first sentence: “We cant go back anymore” -> can someone explain how is it that just one sentence can move me so much, specially cuz we can all agree this could be Uge’s pov, so remembering all the recent events he’s going thru, like breaking up with Aki for good and also accepting that he’s found a new love, learning how to be alone, etc, I can’t help it but feel kinda sad and nostalgic about it.

And that’s something I wanna point out about this song and is WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WAY TO CONVEY NOSTALGIA OMG I FELT AS IF I WAS UGE HIMSELF AND IM JUST REMEMBERING MY MEMORIES WITH MY EX.

Moving on to the pre chorus we can see that Uge is saying that even with the “scratches” that he had, he is gonna move on from those sad days he spent crying and his past with Aki.

Now my personal favorite and the part I always get the most emotional: THE CHORUS.

When he says: I’m going, nee mitete yo (look at me) -> idk how to explain how much this gets me HAHAHA but there’s a je ne sais quois, like i feel him saying it kinda in a cutesy playful but lowkey sad way(? Im crazy ok don’t take this too srsly.

“We used to laugh at odd things, got mad at differences, I’ll make the dream I had with u come true”: this sentence to me describes perfectly when u break up with someone and there are times u find yourself reminiscing the past, those fun silly moments, unnecessary fights and u find yourself saying wow did we really fight bc of that? How immature!

Ik I’ve been saying this a lot but this really breaks me: “When I’m sad, extremely difficult times, I remember the time spent together on this memory, in the back of my mind” I’m honestly not even gonna say anything about it cuz u know when u hold someone dear and the memories with them can help u go thru hard times? Well that’s it there’s nothing more to add😹.

In the second verse we can see what u expect to experience post break up (or at least I think so) u wanna see them but everything’s cool and since that person was so important to you, you wanna be happy when u see them and u can even laugh it off or hug it out.

But to be quite honest that’s not the case for the most part ☹️.

Finally we have the bridge where to me is the most realistic part cuz u know how Uge did in fact wanted to break up with Aki cuz he knew it was for the best, but he never committed 100% to that, and now it was finally happening, so all that realization of breaking up and those feelings can be sensed in here cuz he says “I want to disappear, escape, in the screaming despair, I resented the encounter and even the miracle”

Now really the chorus again so it would end up killing me: “I’m looking for something more important than you, for you who is more important than anything” -> now with this it gives the same feeling as in Yorugaakeru’s “daijoubu” sensing that in fact Uge is gonna move on from all the pain.

At the end of the song we can listen just the violin and to me that can be Uge standing alone, saying goodbye to Aki. ❤️

Special bonus:

We can see our baby Uge is doing just fine and honestly I wish him all the happiness in the world cuz as much as Aki hurt in the relationship, he was in the same position as him, so I can’t wait to see him grow more and more as a character ❤️

[mousehole5000]

wow i made this draft on november 1st i really took a break from this huh anyway tgcf chapters 121 - 142

i realize now this coffin scene was inevitable. feel kinda weird about hua cheng  back and forth from Teen to Big Man but it is very funny that theyre having their “dude dont look at my boner” moment while in the jaws of a water dragon

pei ming: why didnt you guys make a bigger coffin so you didnt have to squish together like that? xie lian: haha yep!! anyways what brings you here?

“In the grand, spacious centre of the entrance hall sat a person. And this person, dressed in all black, its face snow-white—was a corpse! Instantly Xie Lian shut the doors soundly.” - king of minding his own business.

okay this is where i stopped putting notes here for a while but i did save some in my e-reader so here’s some of the highlights

“Guzi used to have a good sleeping form, but perhaps with his cheap dad’s bad influence, now he was also spread out on top of Qi Rong’s stomach like a dead fish. Lang Ying himself was curled neatly in the corner, and was covered by a few shirts. Xie Lian lifted the blanket covering Qi Rong, suppressed the urge to smother his face, and covered the two small children.” - xie lian funny moments. also it would be really funny if qi rong redeems himself by learning love through these misfit chiildren and it might actually endear me to him but i hope that doesnt happen

Every heavenly official was yelling, and even Ling Wen was throwing a fit. “DON’T THROW EVERY BIT OF USELESS INFORMATION MY WAY, HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK I HAVE TO GO THROUGH EVERY DAY? DON’T YOU ALL KNOW TO USE YOUR BRAINS A LITTLE BEFORE ASKING ME?!” - ling wen marry me right now

“An expression like “seen a ghost” that only mortals experienced was now showing on his face for the first time. Shi Wudu’s pupils shrank to the smallest they could, and he blurted, “You’re still alive?!” “I’m dead!” He Xuan said coldly.” - okay everythings going tits up rn but i did laugh

i did see spoilers re: ming yi/he xuan reveal + shi wudu’s fate beforehand so i dont have a genuine reaction other than oh shit

“He slowly enunciated each word. “I won’t touch your fate. But, here in this place, chop off your brother’s head for me.”  CLANG! He threw a rusty blade onto the ground. Shi Qingxuan stared at that blade, his eyes wide. He Xuan continued, “Then, never show yourself before me again, and I will pretend you’ve never existed in this world.” - okay idk what else is going to happen but rn im concerned that this is like the 2nd biggest ship. i guess we’ll see?? i mean i am really curious whats going to happen to them. shi qingxuan keeps calling he xuan “ming-xiong” and i... sad

shi wudu im not really invested in you as a character but these next two bits... interesting

“If I don’t die but have nothing, then that’s truly a fate worse than death. If I’m not the Water God, I can’t take care of you. I won’t even be able to protect myself. I’m scared that we won’t even last two days…TAKE IT!” - damn. something about the wealthy losing everything and not knowing how to live without it bc thats their entire life and identity

“EVERYTHING I HAVE TODAY, I FOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I WILL FIGHT FOR WHAT I DON’T HAVE. I WILL CHANGE FATE I DON’T POSSESS. MY FATE IS UP TO ME AND NOT THE HEAVENS!” - okay so the whole committing spiritual fraud by tormenting a man and his family to get your brother a cushy title thing aside this was kind of badass. heretical? possibly. but still. also is he intentionally riling up he xuan so sqx doesnt have to kill him? if so damn...

also okay as long as im here im just gonna say it. the choice that he xuan gives shi qingxuan is fucking brutal but i actually think its probably as fair as it could be. sqx didnt know about or participate in what happened to hx but they did benefit from it greatly while hx lost EVERYTHING and i can understand he xuan’s thinking of “if you really feel bad for what happened to me then you have to make a sacrifice and understand the suffering and this is as clean as its going to get” and theres a bit where sqx is trying to beg for mercy but cant get the words out which im guessing is bc theres no good argument!! what happened was fucked up!!

“When Pei Ming saw that reinforcements had arrived, he didn’t appear particularly delighted; instead he threw the sword into the ground, then rubbed his nose and said, sounding grim, “You all just had to come just as I finished making these, what the heck.” - pei ming making coffins chopping down trees with his sword i love it #wastehistime2k17

“Xie Lian brought that basket of eggs along, and gave them away as souvenirs from the mortal realm. Many who received the eggs were overjoyed; some deciding to eat it along with their own blood, and some proclaiming they would hatch an eight-foot monster.” - GHOST CITY GHOST CITY

“Placing the brush down, he blew lightly at the ink and smiled. “If I like something, then my heart will not have room for any other, and I’ll always treasure it. A thousand times, a million times, no matter how many years, this will not change. This poem is the same." - thats nice and all but king... get therapy. i actually have further thoughts but tbh i dont want to put them into words bc they are simply too personal! moving on

didnt take any notes but somewhere in here was the bit with mount tong’lu opening and hua cheng losing it and kind of um. hm. that scene. thats another trope i really hate tbh i dont care for it as a way of including physical intimacy between characters and idk if it really ever adds anything but whatever moving on

The Half-Maquillage Woman - kind of interesting monster idea bc women and aging…. yeah. however i think this would be a lot stronger if there were a) more girls and this was b) discussed or illustrated at all prior to this moment. still interesting that its included knowing the author is a woman tho and there’s been comments on how ling wen is perceived vs pei ming. this book does keep giving me hope for interesting female character arcs i really want it to deliver something

quan yizhen..... i get u

lmao i have a note on a bit with lang ying that says “please dont be hc in disguise” and..... my clown nose was on but at least i knew that. for real this is bothering me how much he’s just. always. there. i know he’s a lead but we didn’t really need him around for a lot of this. oh well.  okay now to my current notes

“Yet it was precisely because it wasn’t cooked that it had to be eaten quickly. Once Xie Lian cooked it, it wouldn’t be edible anymore” - fucking fantastic

“Xie Lian hugged his belly. “Of course! Only after having met you did I rediscover that it’s such a simple thing to be happy, hahaha…” Hearing this, Hua Cheng blinked. Xie Lian’s laughter quieted a bit, realizing what he just said was a little too revealing.” - okay i know i said what i said about being tired of hua cheng being everywhere but... the line…. the fact that theyre laughing together…. :pleading:

“It’s not,” Ling Wen said. “At least, I believe, there will definitely not be another in history who can create a dish called ‘Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs’” - and truer words were never spoken

“I, DO NOT WORSHIP GODS. “I, AM GOD!” - this was every bit as badass as i hoped but no one told me it was immediately followed up by a little bit of the ol dinner theater fjalkdsfjsd. also puqi shrine noooooooooo

“Xie Lian sighed as he thought, “Qi Rong has taken Guzi away, who knows if the poor child was eaten or abandoned. Wind Master...... ..... who knows if Black Water took him away. Pray they’re both safe.” yeah hey are we going to fucknig. find out what happened to the child???

and yeah i dooooont really care for the age regression? thing thats going on. i just dont like that trope tbh. but tiny hua cheng whipping out his fat ghost king wallet in the store was funny tho. it is really funny that hualian are just like wandering around some random towns while the heavens are in an uproar. i guess theres not much else to do but its funny

“Me too, me too. You all know of my shixiong, right? Talented, with an infinite future! He only had one small vice: he loved playing women. Decades ago, a little prostitute ghost seduced my shixiong and sucked him dry into human jerky, and that Hua, Hua, Hua, that ghost king dared shelter her.” - yes omg give me the forbidden hua cheng lore i love this for him for real it goes along nicely with xie lian’s principles about giving another cup. god i love shared values

“Hua Cheng poked again, and a small hole appeared on the wall, as if the wall was made of tofu.” - how’d he do that. why is this a ghost king power. its useful tho

*me shaking qi rong when he pops up* WHERE IS THE CHILD

mu qing fu yao is here okay im happy now. once again no one has a good grasp on their secret identity and i love that. this inn has descended into chaos and im delighted and im glad lan chang is back

“The good ol’ kitchen was suddenly squished and crowded, loud and noisy. Fu Yao was chasing that fetus spirit leaping up and down, Lan Chang was chasing after Fu Yao like she had gone mad. Half of Qi Rong’s face changed shape by the way Xie Lian was pressing him down on the chopping board, his back turning into a target for those yellow talismans Fu Yao hurled while being observed by a crowd, and Lan Chang would step on him from time to time.” - this is pure chaos. i love that mu qing was in that room when the mob checked and he didnt say a word didnt open the door just sent out a talisman as a warning. king your disguise is transparent

“Xie Lian remembered the way Feng Xin laughed until he was hoarse when he first heard that verbal password all those years back, and couldn’t help but feel nostalgic, even though it wasn’t the right time.” - awwwww omg im emotional about this... faithful friend feng xin laughing at xie lian’s stupid joke password and remembering it!!! ;_;

“They have, but they’re not effective,” Feng Xin said. “Usually they’re the most diligent in scorning the Palace of Ling Wen, like they could do the job way better if they had the position. Now that we need them to take up the task, not a single one can do even half of what she does.” - typical... typical typical typical

also emotional about the fact that feng xin contacted xie lian at all.....

also!! emotional about lan chang as a mom and wanting to help out sick lil guzi.....

xie lian forcing “fu yao” to let him help “his general” is making me.... what is friendship if not playing along with your buddies little shenanigans while also making them accept your help

“Someone like Mu Qing, even though he’s narrow-minded, petty, sensitive and skeptical, has a bad personality, constantly guessing, doesn’t say nice things, likes to nag, always offending people and has a lot of people who dislike him, has no friends, can remember small, unimportant details for a long period of time…” ”Xie Lian went on in one breath with a straight face, but in the end he concluded with, “...But I’ve known him since we were kids, after all, he’s still got principles.” - XIE LIAN PLEASE AFJDLKSFJDL omg ive seen this quote before but i figured he was talking to someone else not actually to mu qing himself fgjasdkfjsl. god thats amazing. hey im gonna help you out because i care but i will roast you first <3

waaaaaait so is lan chang aka jian lan that girl from book 2 we took a page to talk about and then disappeared? that has to be it why else would we have stopped to discuss her

“Jian Lan spat on his face, then choking his neck, she slapped him twice again. “WHAT SHITTY SUPREME! YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO BLOW YOURSELF UP! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THINK YOU’RE EVEN WORTH TO BE THOUGHT OF AS EQUALS WITH THE OTHER THREE SUPREMES? WHAT ARE YOU EVEN GOOD AT? YOUR THICK SKIN? OF COURSE I DARE HIT YOU!” - oh this feels so good i cant lie. YES GET HIM!! CHOMPING AND VIOLENCE YES!!!!

okay this description of cuocuo.... im... that sure the hell is a creature

this book is so entertaining bc i already saw spoilers for the feng xin/jian lan/cuo cuo reveal and yet i could never have predicted the circumstances that brought it about. imagine being feng xin. the heavens are in an uproar and your only friend/enemy has been jailed for possible fetus spirit-related crimes but he escapes along with this female ghost who keeps causing problems. you figure “fuck it lets see if dianxia kept his old phone number” and he has but then he hangs up on you. you’ve got fuckall else to do so you go find him. mu qing is there but he’s in his disguise the two of you were using so you could watch over his highness while staying aloof. you think you see hua cheng only he’s a chiild for some goddamn reason but who knows at this point. the female ghost is also there and theres a fetus spirit climbing trees and biting your arrows in half. you realize the female ghost is your ex and the little demon is your son. it bites you. what do you do

amazing that despite everything going on everyone is still playing along with the “fu yao” persona when it would probably be easier to drop pretenses at this point. then again tbh if i could explain my actions to my friends while pretending to be a third party.... i probably would so.. carry on

“With all his devotees gone, only Feng Xin still treated him like the Flower-Crowned Martial God and His Highness the Crown Prince. ” “...his protection charms were all seen as trash. However, Feng Xin was still determined and tireless in handing them out; telling Xie Lian, look, you still have devotees.” “After all, he was the darling of the heavens since birth, high and mighty. Feng Xin so naturally spun around him like he was the world, so how could he possibly have his own life, his own heart” “Whether or not that fetus spirit was Feng Xin’s son, if it was that period of poverty that made Feng Xin lose the girl he loved, Xie Lian wouldn’t be able to forgive himself no matter what." ohhhh my god this relationship i. im...

oh my god i still have 30 more chapters until book 4............ its naptime now i think

[atinytokki]

Here’s my first impressions.

Warning! a loooong post, squealing, incoherent thoughts smashed together, and crying ahead. A lot of crying.

OH NO. They really started it like this. I’m shivering in bed rn. It’s haunting and beautiful and too short. Is that marching?? That’s marching, are they going to war now omg hold on—

[I didn’t include the audio for Wonderland because I hit the limit and ALSO you should go stream it on the KQ channel instead ;) hehe]

The transition into this was spectacular. The marching just became the beat wooooah! HONGJOONG AHJFKSL YES that’s how you start a song. Seonghwa and Yunho, beautiful. Wooyoung!! sounds amazing!! Seonghwa’s low voice o I was not prepared. San helloooo I love the instrumentation at this part. Jongho, as expected with the high note. Oh OH KAJA!! oooooohhhhh man the chorus goes hard I can’t wait to see the choreo. The production on this is spectacular. FiX oN MiNgiiiiii go off oml 🔥 YEOSANG 👏🏻 GET 👏🏻 THOSE 👏🏻 LINES 👏🏻 this is a head banging song I’m head banging rn. The way they bring it back right before the chorus *chef’s kiss* This is overwhelming man. Jongho with the bridge yussss he and San sound amazing. Wait they were right it is like Hala Hala they added both parts of the chorus together!! It’s almost over isn’t it. Yeah it’s over. Ok I need to breathe,,,

It’s starting kinda like a sad song this isn’t a sad song is it?? SANIIIIEEE! Aw this is cute I like it. Hongjoooooooong! I love this rap it reminds me of something. Ooh prechorus?? It’s so pretty oh No here’s the chorus— oh EDM?!!? OKAY!! Wait do I bop or cry 🙊omg Yeosang!!!! oh my baby you sound amazing. Harmonies 😭 harmonies omg there are harmonies... Mingi! He didn’t say fix on :(( short but slick rap as always. I’m still trying to figure out what they’re saying in this chorus I don’t wanna blast it too loud everyone else is asleep I think... hhhhhh!! Mingi and Hongjoong SINGING IN THE BRIDGE holy cow im gonna lose it they sound beautiful YES THANK U THIS IS WHAT I WANTED. Wowwwww high note 🙌There’s something really really nostalgic about this song,, I am undone. The harmonies omg I can’t take this it’s like they know how much I love harmonies, unfair.

OMG— throwback???????? This sounds so 80s YEEEESSSS ! San!! New beginning fairy?? He sounds heavenly I can’t. Mingi, he’s singing again I can’t stop smiling this is my new fave thing. This prechorus, idk what to say it’s amazing. WOOYOUNG JUNG WOOYOUNG NO NO NO NO HES SINGING THE CHORUS AFHSJLSLE Jongho ur vocals are sweet honey please have mercy it’s only like the 4th song and I’m crying already. Hongjoong my boy, this style of rap holy cow. Did someone tell him this is my fave style of rap, because— oh, he’s still going?? Ah this is going on repeat the rest of today 🥰 Yeosang I couldn’t be happier you sound gorgeous and Yunho woah their voices match well. WOOYOUNG AGAIN!! This part was made for him it has to be. JONGHO! SO PLEASE!! This bridge I’m just a mess of tears now they are really singing their hearts out. Is it too early to have a favourite?

Ugh all these songs are ending so abruptly I’m never ready for the next one. Oh I’ve heard his.. aHA AHAAAAA I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT this is from the teasers. I had the teasers on repeat this bgm alone is. so. cool. Yes the Mingi rap aaaaaaaaahdhsjkdflsl but we can hear it this time lol. woah it’s not over yet. The beginning of Treasure! Hongjoong singing the beginning of Treasure again but different lyrics?? I need to look them up later oh what if it’s like they found their treasure,, no I can’t take it where are the tissues the ending is so sad whyyyyuyyy

Yay there is already a fun flavour in this song! Hongjoong your voice is so rich in the low register daaaaang I need more of this. Seonghwa is that you? I feel like I haven’t heard his voice since Wonderland I’m sorry seonghwa my bff I’m getting whiplash trying to hear everyone’s parts but you killed it. These lyrics!! This is a hype song fs. THE BEAT DROP AAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAH!! “Ayyy we are gonna win” YES YOU ARE BOYS! Oh shoot I said that out loud I hope no one heard. Okay yes this is my new hype song no one is allowed to be discouraged listening to this. Oop “aha” Hongjoong hakdlaplajql I squealed again. Aw the rap verses were short but still slayed. This song is so fast I can’t keep up but I love it I am feeling this. The low voices and then the beat drop I can’t FUNCTION THIS IS SPECTACULAR !!!!! You are gonna wiiiiiin. This reminds me of Pirate King the altered voice and then adding a harmony the second time, anyone feel me? Mingi singing in the bridge again yes I love this. Ooo EDM break aaaahhah go crazy go stupidddd! I want a choreo for this, I need a choreo for this. Woah the instrumental is very unusual here. And it ended like that with the piano, deconstructing the elements of the song. Oh I need a second listen for musical reasons but we gotta move on.

This album is moving way too quickly we’re halfway done ripppp. I love the instrumental here it’s super slick. I’m already enjoying this very much. Oh high notes San!! Vocal line has popped off, exceeds expectations 100% Aww hi Mingi. Ah thank God the chorus is sweet and full of riffs wowowow this is a sharp contrast from last song. YEOSANG!!! My heart jumps every time I hear him, you don’t know how hard I prayed for him to have more lines. Hongjoong! What are these voices in the background?. Adorable, this is adorable aaaaahaha!! Oh it’s “we are one, we stay one” that they spoiled in ANEWZ I seeeee. This chorus ugh this whole song I love I just have the biggest smile on my face while also sobbing yall don’t understand. The bridge ahh idek what to say I’m so happy with this. You boys make me so proud I hope you know that 😭 !! The voices are back! This is literally so cute hELP

Here comes THANK U I’m not ready ok deep breaths. Whaaaa? I’ve never been more caught off guard in my life that guitar... Yeehaw? Is this a yeehaw song what-? Hongjoong’s singing wait I have to go back I missed it. His voice I— digging my grave. Wait why does this sound lowkey country ohhh dear say sike ah no alright the CHORUS mmm I knew it would be a feel good song. That echoing thing after the chorus is cool. Mingiiii! Did he not say fix on again?? This rap is too cute noooooo oml why Mingi why my jaw is on the floor I can’t believe he’s capable of this.. Ok I like it I’ve decided I like this. I was surprised at first bc I’m not a country fan and it sounded like it was about to be a country song 😂 but this is a bop!! “Gomawo” 😭 no gomawo yourself. Thank you for being on my side 🥺 It’s a hands clapping song. Yes Jongho go off!!! Oh I just gasped the biggest gasp the ending riff was beautiful

Sunrise. Okay deep breaths. I’m gonna just listen and try to not think about the fact Hongjoong cried writing this song. Let’s go. .... oh. OH. Oh it’s soft. I’m soft 🥺 ahhh man they sound so good. This— the background music... it’s doing me in. Aww Mingi. Ahh no this sounds sad whyyy I’m afraid to see the lyrics dangit. (0:41) I just dropped my phone. K that scared me but the lyrics just shot me in the heart. !!!!! I gasped again and now I’m coughing hang on I gotta pause. Just keep it up... boys you outdid yourselves. This GUITAR HOLY CHEESE AND CRACKERS ITS AMAZING. *stomp stomp clap* Hongjoong hiiiii wow this rap right here, I only caught half the lyrics but I know exactly what he is saying ah man. We’ve added instruments in the back. Oh Jongho that was such a clear note the vowel was perfect there. This chorus I can’t. Yeah ok I’m crying again something about the guitar I . Cant type. Oh man. Oh OH OH the bridge the BRIDGE THE BRIDGE everything the vocals the background music. Okay here’s our real stomp stomp clap moment. Ah ok wiping the tears now. They sound great. Hongjoong aaaahh what a way to end the song.

That was an experience I hope I get to breathe during this but I already know I won’t. Um.. it’s piano... for like a solid 20 seconds and it’s slightly jazzy are we getting a ballad?? Our first real ballad!! Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! Seonghwa yessss 🥰 Oh you guys I’ve wanted to hear a ballad from him for so long you don’t even know. Wait everyone sounds so perfect I can’t even describe this. Yunho baby yesss your voice. Wooyoung oml SAN ahhh San your transitions are stunning. Jongho our ballad king it’s like he’s barely even trying and it sounds amazing. Lovely lovely lovely. Mingiiiii he’s singing yet again. Hongjoong too!! Yes oh yes this is it. Their voices all being showcased so perfectly. I’m amazed how well they can all fit this style just as well as they can fit a song like Win. I have one criticism only so far and yall already know what it is. Yeosang still could’ve gotten more lines in this one :_( This is the last song before Beginning of the End oh no. Nooooo I don’t want it to be over. Oh? OH? Yeosang! Yeosangggggg!! Omg I have goosebumps he said NO IM TAKING OVER it’s MY SONG NOW! Wow amazing. The structure of this has been so so interesting I’m definitely going back to analyse. No it’s over...

I’m scared. I’m crying again noo it hasn’t even started jeez pull yourself together. Ok but before I start I really don’t want it to be over and not in a way that implies I want more songs just thinking about how... this is Ep Fin right? The end. Obviously not of ATEEZ (God forbid) it’s only been a year and they’re slaying it I mean absolutely knocking it out of the park each Ep bigger and bolder than the last, they aren’t afraid to try things and when they do they hit the nail on the head. But still this is the end of an era, a storyline too if I’m correct. And it’s just a surreal experience to see it come to a close. ATEEZ, I don’t know where you’re taking us next but I trust you guys and I know it’s going to be amazing.

Ok anyway let’s start the song 🤣 crackling noise? Fire? Ok it’s orchestral. VERY orchestral. “Open your eyes” I felt that San. They were open but I just opened them again. This orchestra is really really moving and cinematic I love it. I see what this is, we’re going Intro: Long Journey except Outro version which is fuller, richer, even more epic and emotional. Oh boy I’m really crying now. Idek what to say again I’m speechless. Oh it swells just like Intro!! Is it the end? Woah???????? What is this? .....SAN?? Wait wait wait it’s over? Like that? No hang on. Waaaait what was that? Seriously that was very strange. I’m not imagining things am I? No does this have something to do with upcoming albums? I’m so confused 😭 it sounded rly cool and spooky whatever it was. Well. Okay! Yeah I guess that’s it. That was the last straw. I should really try to go back to sleep I only have a few hours till I have to get up. But now I’m probably going to go write something, that music was really inspiring. Yeah I think I said what I wanted to honestly! Again I just want to reiterate how proud I am, and remind you to go stream!!!!

KAJAAAAA!

[ancanosaur]

Subscorp shorts: a Cryomancer with the flu and his caring ninja boyfriend.

I woke up this morning thinking about this bc i think about these dumb old men that love eachother a lot. So dont mind me. It's really gay just puttin that out there. I also haven't written an actual fic in like,,,awhile so thia will prob be rough.

Based off a headcanon i have about a type of flu that only effects those with Cryomancer blood. Basically it makes their body heat go up and they cant cool themselves off and they can only start to get better if they cool down.

❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄

A flash of orange flames light up the snow around Hanzo as he looks up to the grey shape of the Lin Kuei. A spring of joy and cheeky excitment fluttered in his chest like caged butterflies, something you wouldnt be able to tell from his outside demeanor as he made his way up the aged stone steps. Hanzo felt like a teenager coming to see his love after being forced apart for sometime, though it has only been a week since he last saw his lover.

It was almost nostalgic in a way, reminding him of the days he would return home from battle. Something that was a life time ago now. "Open up!" One the guards called out as Hanzo aproached the heavy metal gate, watching it slowly arise. The two guards that stood at the entrance placed their fists to their chests and gave him a short yet respectful bow. "Welcome master Hasashi." The one on the left spoke. Hanzo returned the bow as the other spoke. "Grandmaster is in his study at the moment." Hanzo nodded and thanked the guards and the gate keeper as he entered the temple's court yard.

Hanzo began question why Kuai would retire to his study so early. Usually he was overseeing the younger Students training around this time. "Left kick!" He heard a female voice shout followed by the many shouts of adolescent voices. Hanzo looked over to see the snowy haired Frost leading the training of a group of 12 to maybe 14 year olds.

'Perhaps his paperwork needed his full attention at this time.' He thought to himself as he and Frost made breif eye contact and suddle nods. Frost still did not favor the leader of the ninja clan, but her attitude has been adjusted after many long talks with Kuai. She was just naturally hot headed and quick to make judgments, ironic for someone who's Cryomantic blood ran thicker that Kuai's himself.

Hanzo made his way through the large temple, being greeted by many Lin Kuei of various ages and status among the clan until he was at Kuai's door, giving a gentle knock. "Enter." He heard his voice say, though he sounded off...

Hanzo opened the sliding door with ease and met Kuai's bright blue gaze, only his eyes were stained with the signs of sleepless nights and aching pains. "Your timing is something you should work on, Hanzo." The Cryomancer said weakly as he sat back in his chair.

His cheeks were a bit flushed and sweat dotted his brow. "Kuai?" Hanzo questioned as he closed the door behind him. His deep brown eyes were orbs of worry and questions began to flood the mind just behind them.

"I believe i have...cuaght something." The younger man said, making an attempt to wipe the brow from his forehead with a cloth. "You are sick?" Hanzo made his way over to the gandmaster, standing next to his chair where he was placed at his desk. The older placed his hand to the other's cheek. He was warm, even by Hanzo's standards he was warm. "Mercy, Kuai you are burning up." His brows frowned with worry as he moved his hand up to his forehead to his other, scarred cheek. "It has been sometime since i have fallen ill." He let out a gentle chuckle. "I believe i was still a boy, the last i came down with something."

"Kuai, you need to rest. Using your energy will only keep you sicker longer." Hanzo pulled his chair from his desk, coaxing him to stand up so he may help him into bed. "There is no way i am talking you out of caring for me, is there?" Kuai looked up at hanzo, giving him that smirk he loves so much. "I am not above knocking you over the head, Kuai Liang." Hanzo said as he took his hands, helping the taller man to his feet. Even his hands were warm and his knees were weak as he stood. "But yes, i do plan to care for you." He gave his nose a small kiss, knowing his cant catch whater it is that Kuai has.

Hanzo helped Kuai undress once they made it into his quarters, helping him into some thin sleeping pants. "Your balance is off." Hanzo noted out loud as he help his love into bed, not pulling the covers over him knowing he would just kick them off. "No need to critique me, dear." Kuai gave a half smile as he rested his head on his pillow. Hanzo couldnt help but smile back and shake his head. "I am saying you most likely have caught the flu." The older ninja kissed his forehead. "Would you like me to stay?" Hanzo asked in a soft tone. "Please. Seven days without seeing you is too long..." Kuai was halfway dozing off now. So there was no point in Hanzo laying down the fact that they've gone weeka on end without seeing each other. He was greatly flattered though.

Hanzo awoke in the middle of the night at the sound of huffing and tired sighs. He sat up to look to the other side of the bed, finding it emty, opening the flood gates of worry. But it wasnt long until he found Kuai just beside the bed, laying on the brick pattern floor, sweat dripping down from his face down to his chest as he let out deep huffing sighs.

"Kuai?" Hanzo crawled out of bed and onto the floor with him. "Kuai? What is it? What's wrong?" A flame of panic began to light in the older man's chest at the sight of his love spread out on the floor, dripping in sweat. "The floor is cold..." kuai said, eyes still closed, voice rough. Alright, now Hanzo was worried and this couldnt be just a simple case of the flu.

"Kuai," Hanzo stroked his short hair. "I think we should bring the healers in." Hanzo said softly. "No,...just ice." Hanzo thought he misheard him for a moment. "Tell what you need Kuai, anything." Hanzo whispered. "Ice... I need the cold." Kuai finally spoke up.

An idea clicked in Hanzo's head, if it will work or not has yet to be seen, but he'd be damned if he wasnt going to try. "Come now, let us get you outside."

Hanzo helped Kuai to the silding door that lead to the guardens of the temple, both of the only in their sleeping pants as they made their way out under the shine of the moon and the beautiful stars that scattered the sky. Thier leaving tracks in the snow covered gaurden as Hanzo knealed down, gently laying Kuai down in the thick layer of snow, a sigh a relief escaped Kuai's lips as he sank into the ice with that familiar sound of snow packing together.

Hanzo couldnt but enjoy the smile that spread across Kuai's face as he curled his strong arms up, collecting and hugging the snow like a soft feathery pillow under his head. The Shirai Ryu sat on his knees with his boyfriend, collecting the snow and sprinkling it over Kuai's chest and abs, hearing him let out another sigh of relief. "Better?" Hanzo asked, the smile on his lips unable to break at the sight of the grandmaster snuggling up in the freshly fallen snow. "Much better." He hummed, the sweat on his brow slowly fading. "There is a reason it is called a blanket of snow." The Lin Kuei muttered as Hanzo piled more hand fulls of the icey substance onto him, choosing to halfway ignore him.

"You worried me there for a moment." Kuai opened his blue hues to look at Hanzo, pulling him to lay with him in the snow. "I hope you can forgive him." He smiled at him, his voice still hoarse with sickness. Hanzo was going to protest laying with him, but soon gave in to the thought. "You may make it up to me." Hanzo raised a dark brow at the snow covered Cryomamcer, his long jet black hair now dotted with snow flakes as he lie with him. It made Kuai smile as he placed a now chilled hand to Hanzo's warm face. "May i?" Hanzo let out a scoff as he avoided his gave only for a moment, always charmed by Kuai's manners. "Always." He answered and soon their lips met as they both lay in the glittery snow.

[ivydcmir-blog]

☁☼☁( ****. simay barlas. cis female. 21 ). welcome back to your summer paradise, IVY DEMIR we were wondering when you’d finally show up! the town’s really missed how MESMERIZING you are, even if you can be a bit AMORAL at times. we hear back home they call you the CHERRY PIT, makes sense considering you remind everyone of IMPORTED CIGARETTES, OLD LOVE SONGS COMING FROM A RECORD PLAYER, PERFUME AT THE BASE OF A THROAT, & FAST CARS AT MIDNIGHT.  ☁☼☁    

oh she’s extra late to the party ! im she .... my name’s xan im 22 and from the est timezone i go by she / her pronouns and ur watching disney channel <3 i am....so excited to bring ivy to life ... shes been my sleep paralysis demon for weeks its time for me to set her free baby ! lets go !

first things first ivy is inspired by characters like effy from skins, georgina & serena from gossip girl, and just a TINY bit of villanelle from killing eve ( not the....assassin part.... ) 

her daddy’s side of the family are oil tycoons and her mom’s side ? well ivy has no idea what they do or who they were

basically a little after ivy turned a year old her mother just . poofed...vanished into thin air and didn’t leave a trace behind. growing up ivy would hear a lot of rumors from the staff abt what kind of person her mom was or where she went but the one person who could tell her the truth ( her dad ) just refused to talk abt it. he got super angry anytime she used to try so ivy stopped asking !

she was born in tokyo actually ( on her parents anniversary trip, which was another mystery ) but was raised in manhattan ! she is absolutely in love with nyc and definitely considers it her home

so shes filthy rich and i mean like ... disgusting billionaire rich to the point that it’s just not right and you know, that definitely shaped her upbringing. even as a little girl ivy found it very clear the amount of power she has just by being born into the right family 

she was....kind of a strange child ! she was abnormally sharp for her age and intuitive and without that maternal figure in her life, ivy grew very attached to her father. he’d even take her along to business meetings because she was well behaved

as she grew up it started to become apparent ivy liked to play games. the more she observed the people around her ( the staff, her dad, his business partners, the kids at school, etc. ) the better she got at finding out what made people tick. sometimes her games were harmless ( like flirting with the boys she knew her friends were crushing on ) and sometimes they were more intense ( like setting up empty pill bottles around her and pretending she’d overdosed to freak out the maids ) ask ivy why she did any of it and she’d simply tell you she was bored

high school ivy was very much reckless like this. she found the upper east side teen drama so dreary she’d often act out just for a change of pace. i’d like to think she broke the record for most detentions at whatever private school she went to. she was definitely someone just about everyone knew just because of all the rumors she stirred up doing crazy things 

despite all the misdemeanors she got into yale ! her dad is basically on of the biggest donors to the university. there’s probably a building somewhere on campus with her last name on it, but ivy really couldnt care less. she didnt exactly want to go to college and she definitely didnt want to leave nyc, but shes got this weird complex with her dad and really cannot tell the man no ! so she majors in classics just bc she thought it’d be neat to have to learn latin 

of course ... she starts to get bored. she’s already barely attending classes and on academic probation so when it leaks to the dean she’s sleeping with a professor ? ivy was sure it’d be expulsion.....but then it wasn’t ! turned out her dad had made a special deal with yale and after a nice monetary exchange it was like ivy never did anything....

after her dad announced he was going to turkey for his brother’s funeral last august she decided to "take a gap year” from yale but really she’s got no plan to ever go back ! instead she disappeared much like her mother did for a whole year without a trace. she told absolutely no one where she was going or what she was doing.....and she’s come back to the hamptons for the summer with no warning ! 

PERSONALITY & TIDBITS

so ivy is....all over the place ! most of the way she behaves is because she finds it a bit too easy to grow bored. still very much into playing games with people bc she gets a kick out of it ! it takes a lot for ivy to take anything seriously so she’s not exactly the best person to come to if you need advice or comfort. if you’re looking for excitement? trouble? an out of body experience ? then she is 100% your girl 

for someone so chaotic she is weirdly nostalgic and sentimental about things. she’s obsessed with greek heroes and foreign poets and superstitions and it’s not uncommon to find her getting existential with you with a cigarette dangling from her fingertips and a foggy look in her eyes. she’ll say something that seems entirely deep and profound one minute, and the next she’s blowing smoke in your face asking if you want to do a line in the bathroom with a wicked smile on her painted lips

a huge flirt ! she will and she does hit on absolutely everyone. definitely not the traditionally romantic type but she does go through phases where she tends to hyper fixate on others for specific periods of time. until she gets bored. it’s a vicious cycle

full of unhealthy habits that include drinking, smoking, doing drugs, fucking around, but the worst is how little she sleeps. she’s been prone to nightmares ever since she was a kid but she’s never acknowledged it as a problem despite it obviously being one

once she flew to paris with nothing but a cheap pink wig. wore it the whole time she was there and called herself yvette. 

picked up her father’s obsession with luxury cars. not only does she collect them, she races them, too. most infamous stint was showing up to a race in an evening gown and winning. 

speaks about five languages fluently. often likes to fuck with snobby rich people at high society events by pretending she can’t speak or understand english, only to turn around and speak to someone else in perfect english

it’s rumored she once snuck onto the yacht of a ceo to a fortune 500 company, only for him to find her in nothing but a bath towel eating chocolates while flipping through his playboy magazines, and that he was so taken with her instead of pressing charges he decided to name the boat after ivy.  

rumors are rumors, but you really never know with ivy....

thats it !!! if you’re reading this you made it !! please come plot with me i know im late but i have a lot of heart memes saved up and i cant use those by myself </3 we can message through im’s but im 100% easier to get in contact with over discord @  EL i love u 💖✨🌙#8172

[incarnus]

2, 3, 7, 11, 12, 13, 16, 17, 20, 23, 24 for Feffin, Haywood, + Tessa ^^

goodness. cutting bc this might b long

2. do they have any unusual collections or items in their home?

F: not really? most items from her past that she cant seem to let go of dont really bring her much Joy.. so any unusual items she has are stowed away. itd be fun to make her start collecting trading cards but thats just bc shes my SI and i have trading ccard addiction.

H: haywood has lots of weird stupid shit in his hut. hes stolen so much stuff he doesnt even know what he has unless hes going thru it all. he does enjoy shiny beads/pearls and keeps those in a special place tho. marbles too.

T: tessa loves candles and likes to buy them and not light them. russell is sort of :| about it but hed never say anything. he secretly likes smelling them even if he isnt a fan of how cluttered it can look...

3. whats their favorite dessert or candy?

F: loves chocolate mint stuff.. chocolate chip mint ice cream is her <3

H: rich chocolate cakes

T: gummy bear :)

7. do they like corn mazes, hay rides, or apple picking, or any other autumn activities?

F: feffin has never done any of these things.. but she would probably like to ! hay rides she would be a bit iffy about.. motion sickness n such. i think she would really enjoy carving pumpkins :>

H: if corn mazes includes hiding and scaring other ppl in the maze then yes absolutely. he might find apple picking boring tho..

T: yes yes yes. . . tessa is all about activities like this. she drags russell along to warmer parts of xaset for these kinds of things ! especially loves picking pumpkins and placing them around her shop.

11. if they suddenly had a whole day free to themselves, what would they do with it?

F: huh. probably explore the woods with sumac. shes bad at picking up hobbies.. but in her spare time she tries to avoid doing Nothing just so she can keep her mind occupied. exploring the wilderness around her helps..

H: probably cause some mischief . steal a few things and make shit w what he stole. if he is feeling nice he will visit feffin.

T: take russell somewhere fun! theyre both rather busy normally keeping up w the shop and illomaars mail so when they have the time to themselves they make sure theyre doing something enjoyable. probably go to a neighboring village and shop around n what not.

12. whats their weirdest or most irrational fear?

F: shes MY si so I get to give her My irrational fear. microwaves. illomaar is pretty rustic and they just have the bare minimum for kitchen supplies and microwaves are just.. wrong to her. she doesnt get it but mostly bc she chooses not to listen when someone tries to explain what they do.

H: dudes got a lot of buried fears but if were talking Irrational ones uhh ... losing his teeth. like them breaking or falling out.

T: wont set foot on a frozen lake. counting this as irrational bc the only ones she has been around are in xaset which as Always caked in ice so thick it would take Immense force to break thru it and fall in.

13. would they rather trick-or-treat or hand out candy to children?

F: good question. i could see her liking both ? but probably hand out candy

H: trick or treat. emphasis on trick

T: hand out candy :>

16. what makes them nostalgic?

F: welllll nostalgia is usually remembering a Good feeling right? she doesnt have many of those... if she is remembering rook in a more lighthearted way- thick patched quilts. rook got cold easily and had various patched quilts with him. she has a few still.

H: lush, green forests. . ..........................

T: tessa was not born in xaset she moved there from a village on the outskirts of a desert. she hates sand, but it does remind her of her family and the positives of living at home.

17. what do they think about pranks?

F: not a traditional prank puller but she does enjoy them. shes more likely to tease than prank.

H: wonderful. loves messing with people any chance he can get- maliciously or not.

T: thinks theyre fun if theyre not harmful but wont pull many herself.

20. what family traditions do they remember from their childhood?

F: baby girls got noooo family. raised by poachers who provided her w the bare minimum.

H: ;^; ... would venture to the river by his cabin with his sisters and just.. float down it for hours..

T: extravagant birthday parties............ like. absolutely unnecessary levels work put into those parties.

23. whats their craft of choice (sewing, painting, etc.)?

F: again she doesnt rly have any hobbies. haywood might teach her how to read music tho.

H: music and sewing. he likes to make his own clothes and rugs and such from various fabrics.

T: she likes to sing but not really in front of ppl even tho shes pretty good at it

24. what are their favorite party games or activities?

F: standing and watching everyone from a safe corner lol. no but if she is comfortable she like card games !

H: haywoods not a huge party person but he will go if some ppl he likes are also going or if he knows he can cause some chaos. so his favorite party game is one he made up called just start throwing things until someone gets mad

T: tessa goes all out for parties and plans lots of games that ppl are usually too distracted to accurately play. she will still do it tho. her favorite is darts but she likes to have a variety

there u go.................... my ocs . <3

[matazz]

entries

diary entries of roy endoza

here’s some journal entries of roy endoza that i wrote for the duration of the campaign. for the most part, i kinda wrote these in my twitter drafts just to write down roy’s thoughts. sometimes to remember events that happened, and sometimes just to vent out roy’s feelings to myself. i ended up saving these on a document for safe keeping and i’m glad i wrote these.

‪entry 47‬

‪i miss milo so much. his laugh, his eyes, his smile. i would do anything to have that back.‬ ‪i know its my fault he’s gone. its only been a few months, but i’ll fix that; all of it. no matter how long it takes, no matter what happens. i’ll find some way to do it.‬ ‪entry 53‬ ‪i’ve retrieved a letter from a dream telling me to visit latham and retrieve a key. i’m curious, so i’ll check it eventually. it was definitely odd.‬ ‪entry 55‬ ‪i met a young boy. his name is fox. he’s some sort of shapeshifter. he’s quiet, but his presence is nice company. he also received a similar letter to mine. i have a feeling we’ll be travelling for a while.‬ ‪entry 62‬ ‪we retrieved the key & met some other ppl with letters too. we’re heading to a trinket store back in origin now. i dont wish for them to know of my life so i’ve found a way to steer them as far from possible to finding out about myself. i’ll probably visit ma too.‬ ‪entry 63‬ ‪an elf woman named leera attacked us after i told her i wasnt going to give her this key. i dont like her. she seemed very cocky.‬ ‪entry 65‬ ‪delilah is kind.. i feel like i’m able to trust her. i asked her a question about my goals, vaguely, and it turns out that ayce asked a similar question. based on the message in his later i get the feeling he’s undead.‬ ‪entry 66‬ ‪i told ayce the biggest con in all of history.. but i confirmed he’s undead. i have more hope in my goals now that i know its possible. he hugged me bc he thinks we’re similar. i dont usually allow people to do that but i’m sad for him. i wish i could ask more about him. ‬‪entry 69‬ ‪i’m getting closer to ayce, unexpectedly, but good for me. i need his information.‬ ‪he talks to me a lot about his life; i think he’s become dependent on me which is easy for me. its hard for him to see i’m using him when i lie to his face.‬ ‪entry 72‬ ‪we’re travelling to copper coast now for another key. if it werent for ayce, i wouldnt see any other reason for me to come. fox is still around, but i feel like he's doing his own thing. the other two arent big presences for me to care about.‬ ‪entry 73‬ ‪atlas is a werewolf? i didnt think those were real. this group keeps getting stranger. first a shapeshifter, second an actual living zombie, third a werewolf.‬ ‪ive continued my lie to the rest of them. they all seem to have believed me, strangely enough‬ ‪entry 74‬ ‪copper coast was very pleasant. i wish to come back someday.‬ ‪entry 88‬ ‪this trip to clandesteine has been a disaster.. what the honest fuck‬ just happened ‪entry 90‬ ‪fox told everybody about himself, finally. i feel this huge sense of pride?? i’m very proud of him. i dont understand why i feel so attached to him but i adore him so much‬ ‪entry 92‬ ‪((incoherent scribbles, kinda like “vsdjfsasifwnqkosdkv”)) i think i accidentally implied to ayce that i love him romantically and i think he loves me too... i’m freaking out and i dont know how to react... i think he thinks i’m cool and romantic but i didnt mean to be. ‪entry 93‬ in all honesty, i just wanted to tell him he needs to be more cautious of me. a part of me wishes he could figure it out himself so i dont have to tell him. ‪seriously! i dont know how i did that! i do love and adore him too but i feel like shit.. i dont deserve him, especially considering who i am. on the other hand, i hope he never finds out the truth about me.‬ ‪entry 94‬ ‪oh my god. atlas killed a man and ayce and fox proceeded to tell the guards. i feel sick. i’m currently at home but if they say my name at witness testimony i’m royally fucked. i dont know. i might just run for it and live in myr’s peak. maybe no one will find me.‬ ‪entry 95‬ ‪the group managed to get bailed out using ty’s name. benefits of being friends with rich people?‬ ‪fox found my poster though, so he saved my name during eyewitness testimony. i told him the truth. its been the first time i told someone how i really felt. he wants me to tell ayce but hes the last person i can tell. ‪entry 97‬ ‪we’re in lunarden! it feels nostalgic to be back.

i want to go back to every place i miss. i took ayce to that me and nori used to go to back in high school. i think shes currently performing in solardome? i miss her‬ entry 97.2 ‪i came up with a few different ways to complete my goal. i have a few more probing questions, but i will have to ask later. i think i’m getting closer to the answers‬ entry ‪97.3‬ ((scribbled out)) ‪i havent had sex in a while. i’ve wondered this before but realized it was an inappropriate question to ask. i wonder if ayce’s dick works? it probably doesnt. this is so sad. i dont know how i’m going to fuck him if thats true.. yikes‬ ‪entry 98‬ ‪i’m planning to get completely smashed once we get to solardome. i feel like i deserve it.. ive been pretty stressed and havent got laid. i’m crying remembering that ayce might not even be an option.‬ ‪entry 98.2 ((lost)) ‪i love ayce so much, and its confusing. am i just sexually frustrated? am i just lonely? am i just sad? i feel guilty because it tears me apart. im confused because i love milo still, too. i know i should tell him the truth, its whats right but i know he’ll hate me. i dont know what to do. (extra note inbetween the pages, torn out: to mom. i love you venhfrhdy mcuh. thank you fir everhything. yes. roy.) entry 98.3 what happens if i succeed? i hope ayce doesnt kill me. entry 100 ‪good morning. ayce & i are officially dating. were in solardome atm; i dont remember much of last night but i remember thinking he‘s beautiful. is it wrong to fall for him?‬ ‪entry 101‬ ‪good evening. i saw ms winters. she was undead, just like ayce. she died a year ago. her soul was lost though. i killed what remained of her undead corpse. i assume she was trying to remain in this world.. i’m scared that this will happen to him too. maybe ill have to do the same to him. entry 101.2 i hope ayce's soul is able to sustain in his body for longer. i cant afford to lose him. entry 101.3 ‪the blackness on my fingers has risen up more than it has before. its almost hard to write with my hands anymore. i assume its bc the gods know what i'm doing & are against it, so they're trying to give me more recoil than usual. but the last time i killed an undead corpse was in my house 6 months ago, and i promise that the last time i will use it is when i bring milo back. (torn note inbetween the pages: hi ayce. its unrealistic you'll ever find this but there's some things i want to say. back when we first met, i lied to you as a reflex when you asked me why i'm dealing with necromancy. to be honest, i could kind of gather you were undead, but i still lied anyway. my story is personal, its hard for me to be honest. i know i'm an idiot, and i'm sorry i used you. to be truthful, i still am a horrible person and for the entirety of our relationship i've already known that i was using you and i've felt so guilty about that. my feelings are complicated, but i've never lied when i said i loved you, and i still do; but i still want to bring milo back. i made a mistake and i want to fix that. the truth is that i still love him too. i know you deserve better. i'm sorry about lying to you. roy) entry 102 a dragon made us experience our dreams and nightmares. jade's scared of blindness and bugs. a valid fear, in a way. and she was dreaming of doing shows. i think it was supposed to display a feeling of happiness and joy, but it was just spooky since we all experienced her dreams with no sound. i never realized how scary it was to be deaf until i experienced it. atlas' was morbid. people were dying and there was so much gore. then there were people saying they owned him. i knew he was a bad person but it was scary to see all of that again. he dreamt of a workshop with a girl and a young boy. it seemed sweet, with a tinge of nostalgia. i would have never expected him to have dreams. he just seems like a horrible person with no sympathy to me, but i guess he has feelings. i still think he should go to jail, but i feel like he'll just try to kill me if i say anything instead. fox's was sad. we got thrown into a void

of empty space where we were surrounded only by dopplegangers and a vaguely humanoid figure. he seemed so lonely and upset. he's scared of being forgotten by us and that made me so sad. i adore him, and he's grown a lot since we first met. i gave him a hug when we went into his dream sequence. i hope he knows i will never forget him. his dream was sweet. he just wants to save people and hang out with us still. i think he'll go far, and i would love to be there for him still when all of this is over.c (the rest of the pages with entry 102 are torn out) when i saw milo in the old house again just being his happy lovely self i felt miserable and happy at the same time. i love him so much, and i knew i missed him already but seeing him again just made me feel so much love for him all over again. it just makes me miss him more. it's hard not to cry thinking about what i've done to him. i wish he could come back. ayce's was hard to watch. i witnessed myrkul force ayce to choose between killing me and quri. ayce cried as he couldn't make up his mind, and then i watched as i fell into a void. i felt sick and i wanted to puke. i thought ayce found out about me. i thought he knew that i was using him for necromancy, but when i asked him about it, he told me that he thought i killed him with quri. i... personally don't have any reason to ever kill him so that was a bit sickening to think of. i dont ever want to kill anyone. i dont even have anyone i hate enough to want to murder. the only person i hate enough to want to kill is me. i know based on what i said before i guess it might have seemed that bad; but haha... i would never ever want to do that. putting people down at hospital was rough. god, putting ms winters down was rough and she was already dead. i love him, but it's probably better if we end the relationship and just stay as friends? he's already witnessed me still loving milo, and he thinks i murdered him... i'll try to clear up his misunderstanding, but it'll be hard to without giving more of myself away. this relationship has so many problems. entry 103 a new discovery. the world isn't flat? the god's are using their powers to “lock off” the rest of the world. apparently sanctuary is only a small part of the world. that was a really weird discovery to find out? it's kind of hard to believe, but at the same time, not. apparently they keys we've been collecting hold the respective power of the gods, and they're used to “open” the gateway. i have no idea what that means. apparently beshaba wants to use our keys to do exactly that. and also they can kill the god's? entry 112 when we came back to lunarden we discovered that delilah and allen were kidnapped by atlas’ syndicate. i knew atlas was trouble. i hate having to associate with him. we’re going to save them yet it makes me nervous. entry 114 i feel like i almost died in there. we saved the others and no one was hurt though. we’re going to trip back to lunarden and then travel through the travel gates back to origin to try avoid people. allen mentioned something about strange readings. i have a feeling i know what it is. i’m going to ask lathandar questions. entry 115 nvm we encountered leera. this group genuinely scares me. I’m travelling with people who are down with murder. i should seperate. she uncovered my posters to them and i want to die. she also mentioned the last key at a ball. i need to bounce. lathandar also confirmed my suspicions last night. entry 116 fox left before i could. i feel bad. like maybe it was my fault. i miss him. we have to continue though. entry 117 its so hard to find a bag of holding. i just want to have this spirit stone around without having it in the open. entry 118 we’re in origin now and delilah let me rent out her bag of holding. an absolute kind soul. we bought tickets to the ball. so expensive. i wish i didnt do that. entry 123 i’ve done so much in preperation of whats to come. Soon. i hope it works. i’m going to travel to solardome and investigate those readings. entry 124 suspicions

confirmed. miss winters is alive. she captured my biological father. a strange way to meet him. i cant see him as my father. i told her about the key, and we’re going to rearrange our circle. we’ll still use the spirit stones, just as a backup. i’m scared. i’m terrified. i dont know if it will work and i dont know what will happen if it does. i know the gods will be mad but i’ll deal with the consequences when it happens. i’m sure i won’t be a champion anymore. we’re doing this on friday evening, which means i’m no longer attending the gala. they don’t need my assistance anyway.

[thechampagnelovers]

Oh I totally feel you on HP. My mom used to read it to us and then I read the books myself when I was a bit older... Even if I always knew it was fiction I couldn‘t help but cry on my 11th birthday. And now I am 22. How time flies?? Ohhh and re-read! But take time for it, personally I always forget what a real escape from reality the books truly are. You totally emerge into a different world, if that makes sense. I started last year with books 1-3 and got stuck on 4 because of uni but it‘s like the fifth re-read so I wasn‘t that determined to finish, buttt I will set a goal to finish them until december 2021. 💪🏾

That‘s so cool how did you make uni friends or even people you talk to from uni in the pandemic? With us the meetings we get into are always super anonymous and everybody hates putting on their camera and barely anybody speaks except for the professor. It‘s really cold and clinic I couldn‘t imagine making friends under these circumstances. How was it for you? I definitely love and also prefer going to classes for... multiple reasons!

Yeah I can definitely see what you mean with the voice over! That is actually a pretty cool mental image. I agree that Tightrope is one of the best songs Zayn made so far. I had never heard Syd’s voice before but it’s beautiful isn’t it? I really enjoyed her voice, which is unusual for me, I am really picky with voices. Glad we both enjoyed the album. ☺️

Okay listen... Little Things and I, we have a love-hate relationship. I remember loving the fandom hype around it and the „you sing“ and the way it was the song we supported Niall with that always made me so happy. I don‘t know what I blogged/said about it before when I was younger but now, when it comes on, I let it play respectfully, ignore it, sing „you sing“ and then... move on hahahaha. I understand peoples rage at it, but it makes me too nostalgic. She is like a friend that just doesn‘t fit with you anymore and what you see/hear from them now is nothing you‘d ever surround yourself with, but because of those memories you just can‘t bring yourself to hate them, you know? I don‘t really have any hate songs like that, but there are some which I don‘t skip, but I just... you know? There are no words for that empty feeling ahsks. How was your weekend? How will your week be? I still have uni this week but it is a lot less stressful so I hope I will be able to pop in more often and talk/catch up/interact with youuu. x

i also cried on my 11th bday skdkslkd i love just how much we have in common, if i reread the books i think i will blog about it, just to annoy everyone sdkfklsd and we can share our thoughts! rn im reading a great book (not the other one from last time, a new one) its called the knitting circle and its so depressing but beautiful sdjklds completely opposite from hp

okay it really was a combination of factors: i already knew a couple people in the class, one or two people i already had classes with and there was a friend of my ex sjdjks and the same thing for the rest of the group. second thing: it was a creative writing class, so we all shared thoughts and ideas and thats how we built something so cool. and third: i think it was just luck that we all liked each other and had fun. i miss going to classes too, but if you find a cool group of people it can be super fun to have online classes too.

nil is just so so so good, zayn really did something so cozy and personal and warm, its totally a comfort album, a quarantine album. 

i looove your respect to it! tbh i kinda have to respect it too because it really was an iconic fandom moment only og stans can relate too but at the same time im so deeply traumatized by that song dkjjfksjkfs i just cant listen to it, i skip songs from time to time if im not in the mood for them but that song is probably the only exception to that, i just never listen to it. i would probably only listen to that song in a live concert, like if niall sings it (i know liam does all the time but tbh if im going to put myself through that, niall is the only one i can trust)

my weekend was weird, so so so weird. yesterday i spent all the day at the beach and it was great, i read my book, swam in the ocean, tanned and the weather was beautiful. i went to bed like at 2 am and woke up at 4 am with the worst period cramps, just like the last time :/ thank god i had ibuprofen this time, but i didnt sleep much after that. but yeah, i was in pain for a while and i got a little nauseous, but i was much better than the last time. my mom wants to take me to her gynecologist to check it out, and she says i should go back to take the pill and she’s right, im just. so lazy but i also hate this sm, its also really fucking up with my mood and ive been crying a lot today (although that part is not really that bad bc i struggle with crying and its good to cry from time to time lol, its the moon in scorpio what can i say)

[cowboy-butch]

power rangers spoilers under the cut

like.. a few major ones. theyre detailed, i tried to list out possible trigger warnings (bolded) but if you need a specific one message me! proceed with caution :)

it was honestly really funny, there was a lot of wit and sarcasm in many of the jokes and i was constantly laughing. and while there was a more serious vibe with the movie than with what i remember of the show, there were quite a few lighthearted, very sweet moments that made the theater ‘aww’ (the scenes of jake and his mom and how he cared for her were some of the sweetest they made my heart hurt)

some of the dialogue wasnt that great, there were some plot holes that i noticed throughout the movie, and some of the acting wasnt as good as it couldve been, but it was a good movie, it was a good adaptation of the show and a good start to what im guessing is a series? there’s a credit scene where they kinda introduce the green ranger (which the girl next to me was freaking out about it was great)  

the evil witch lady was kinda underwhelming? i wasnt really scared of her, i could tell that she would fuck shit up if she wasnt stopped but the portrayal wasnt really what i expected it to be, which is fine things dont have to be perfect all around, but i hope they get some better, more experienced actors to play the villains next time. the witch’s monster that she creates was kinda scary, there were some intense scenes with the monster and the five that racked up my anxiety lol

i wasnt a devout show watcher, ive seen a few episodes here and there as a kid, but some people have been commenting on the tv/movie references and inside jokes that were in this movie. there were some nostalgic scenes that i remember, “its morphin time!” and the “go go power rangers!” song definitely made me feel like a giddy little kid. this was a revamp but they didnt forget their origin story, they didnt forget where they came from lol

billy (blue) fucking stole the show. he was absolutely amazing. im not autistic, but i follow a few people who are and who talk about it concerning themselves and characters they see as being on the spectrum. so i noticed a few aspects of billy’s character which coincided with what ive read like when jason scott (red) touched him with no warning or consent he asks him to stop, he is constantly building things his whole basement/room is covered in tools and equipment and a big work table, which is what came to my mind as his special interest

when he got excited there was continuity of him clapping his hands and sort of bouncing on his feet, and the most blatant aspect of all; billy confessed to jason that he was on the spectrum, jason didnt seem to understand and made a little joke, and billy went on to say that his brain worked differently than jason’s, that he couldnt understand sarcasm or some humor but that he remembered everything, like /everything/. in the movie he was by far the best developed character in my opinion, it felt like RJ Cyler did a lot of research and listening to build his character to be the best representation that he could make him. (i dont know if this has anything to do with autism or if its just a cute thing billy does, but he cant swear. like something surprised him and he yelled ‘motherf- ah just mother is good’ like he couldnt finish the word. idk i just liked that part of his character)

t warning: okay so there is one scene that could be triggering for some people, so major spoiler here. the villain ends up killing billy ¾ through the movie, the rangers take him back to the main ship to ask their mentor person what to do and if theres any way to save him, but eventually the mentor brings him back to life. i felt slightly uncomfortable during that scene because they killed off their only black and autistic character. i still dont know how to feel about it until i hear from actual black/autistic people but i wanted y’all to know, if seeing that could harm you or trigger you. if you want to avoid seeing that happen to billy, it happens when the five are captured at the docks and its drawn out for a few minutes, i cant remember how many. if someone could accompany you, they could stay in the theater and text or come get you when the scene is over.

OH and something i noticed after the emotional scene mentioned above, billy was being hugged and he was hugging back, but jason walked up to him and kept his distance, letting billy initiate the hug if thats what he wanted to do. jason heard billy’s uncomfortableness in being touch and remembered, and let him have his space and freedom to decide on a hug or not. theyre my new brotp and I LOVE THEM

keep in mind that i dont know everything, i dont have autism so some things most likely shot over my head and didnt register, so im sorry if it did and if what ive told you has been incorrect. you are totally free to correct me if i have been, but i felt like billy was (mostly) treated with care and respect.

so admittedly the gay character reveal was kinda small, i wouldve definitely liked if it was bigger but keeping in mind what the director said in one of his interviews is important.

“For Trini, really she’s questioning a lot about who she is. She hasn’t fully figured it out yet. I think what’s great about that scene and what the scene propels for the rest of the movie is, ‘That’s OK.’ The movie is saying, ‘That’s OK,’ and all of the kids have to own who they are and find their tribe.” xxx

The way it’s revealed sounded as if Trini (yellow) was fresh into figuring out who she is, what her sexuality is, where she fits in society. the five were revealing secrets about one another to get to know each other better and she tells them that she and her family are never in town for long, and she likes it like that because its easier to not have to constantly get to know people, to show them your vulnerable side.

zack (black) made a little joke about ‘boyfriend problems’ which her subtle face expressions rejected, to which he asks ‘girlfriend problems?’ and she seemed unsure. (theres no negative reactions from the others, it does seem to portray the idea that ‘Thats OK’, that her potentially having girlfriend problems is totally okay to the other characters) im not positive in what expression she was conveying, maybe the character wasnt totally sure of her answer herself, but i remember being that way too.

i always asked myself if wondering if i was bisexual was actually just me wanting to fit in with my friends, or if i was trying to get attention from some unknown faceless person. i kept quiet about my thoughts for quite some time, i didnt want to blurt it out while still feeling wildly unconfident about my answer, in case i /was/ vying for attention (i wasnt). so maybe this representation isnt what my present day mostly-out self wouldve liked, but to my past questioning and confused “straight” self, i wouldve related to that uncertainty. i wouldve seen myself in Trini and wouldve cried tbh. if the sequels actually happen (theres a plan for five more movies to be made?? i hope it happens) then i really do hope that we see her sexuality expanded upon as she becomes more comfortable with herself.

(and maybe it was just me but did Trini seem like she had the hots for Kimberly (pink)? id have to watch it again bc a lot of information at one time kinda shocks my brain into a stupor and the details get foggy)

t warning: theres a car crash scene in the very beginning of the movie and one sorta 2/4 of the way where theyre escaping the mining area and connect with a train. after the second crash jason throws up but there isnt any visual, only audio. i cant think of anything else in the movie, so if any of you need to avoid or know about those, i hope this helps.

so these are my thoughts and opinions! if you disagree i totally understand but dont be a jerk about it, you respect me I’ll respect you. i hope y’all have enjoyed my long ass post and if you see the movie i hope you enjoy it!

[clumsyclifford]

yes very understandable i know these have been very long 😅 well to be fair.. the highest temperature we get here is like 36° celsius for maybe a week or so? and then it cools down normally. so i guess a/cs wouldn't really make sense? still sucks though. and listen you made my life better with bringing noah kahan into it and you were not annoying about him!! and i love you very much too 🙈💕 (1/too many again i think)

(2/5) nooo she's like noah kahan. both unable to write/make bad songs. truly she has some amazing collaborations 😅 and i'm pretty fond of what a time bc i started listening to her music bc she opened for niall when i saw him and so like even a mention of them together makes me very happy and then there's an entire song by both of them. yes thank you for the serotonin that collab brings me.

(3/5) & i'm really not trying to make you cry but by now i have 2 playlists for your recs 😅 one with the ones i know and like a lot already and one with the ones i have to listen to still 🙈 oh well 😅 if you wanna you can give me like top 5 thomas rhett songs though? i normally just add a couple songs that i like the name of but that can go very wrong 🙈 yes that you are: consistent in your love for ajr. ajr is for you what noel gallagher thirst is for helen i think.

(4/5) & you did rec me three-thirty i'm still undecided about that one though bc the sound wasn't entirely my cup of tea but i adored the lyrics. so gonna listen to that again a few times and we'll have to see 🙈 you are so lovely and i feel the same i'm so happy and thankful i get to talk to you! love you so so much 💕 mhh i know you didn't even ask but the only nostalgic song i can think of is glory days by bruce springsteen

(5/5) and that one does not fit the described nostalgic vibes but i'll think about it bc i love specific playlists so much 😅 oh also maybe a weird request so feel free not to but can you maybe add a link to calum's spotify (bc you said you follow his playlist) i can't fucking find it bc my spotify is being a bitch. (i'm pretty sure i know his name by now but it just. does not show up and it's driving me mad bc i just wanna vibe check his music taste like apparently everybody else can) - fiancee

oh that’s 96 degrees fahrenheit.......very miserable but at least it doesnt last long. still. i feel like. a/c. you would benefit. but moving on

she really DOES have some amazing collaborations like okay shawn mendes? niall horan?? 5sos???? also i am 100% sure there is another one that i am OH FUCKING RIGHT HURT SOMEBODY!!!! noah kahan + julia michaels???? the POWER of that duo?????? also the fact that you saw julia michaels open for niall ????? FUCK DUDE

ohhhh my god two playlists. TWO!!!! jesus christ that is too much i CANNOT

okay yes yes good idea. well im not gonna give you the ones youve already heard so apart from those i think my top 5 thomas rhett songs would be: remember you young, almost, notice, die a happy man, and i just heard marry me for the first time yesterday but i kinda HIT so im gonna add that one

AJR IS FOR ME WHAT NOEL AKJFGKDMLKJ I CANT EVEN FINISH THAT THATS SOOOOOOO FUCKING FUNNY actually though i have to disagree i think AJR is to me what oasis was SUPPOSED to be to helen (a brief resurgence of love for a random band that dies down eventually) but then helen went manic and honestly so did i. however. never compare ajr to noel gallagher ever again on my turf alright fiancee great thank you

that is fair enough i know the production is like. it’s a very classic ajr song i think? in terms of the production so i get how it’s not to everyone’s taste BUT the lyrics.......yeah. anyway im always taking suggestions for playlists i will have to listen to this glory days song although i am pretty sure ive heard it before also that reminds me i should put i’m on fire on a playlist somewhere i am certain it would fit i just need to listen to it. probably on the. deep breath or. melancholy.

yeah yeah man no worries here’s the man go vibe check him