#bro was a staple of my childhood

[sappho-ilmarinen]

If they didn't want me to become anti-capitalist, they shouldn't have aired Rumcajs on tv. Too late now. Abolish the monarchy and hand over your belongings.

[cyndalyssa]

Had to get some big-nosed snowboarding children out of my system. Strange thing to be drawing a winter-themed thing when the snow's gone and we're now officially in spring.

I present to you the original five characters from the N64 game Snowboard Kids, plus the newcomer from 2 (there are unlockable characters in both games, as well as some extras from a Playstation and DS versions, but whether I'll draw those is up in the air). I admit to playing around with the designs a bit, but I hope their basic personalities still come across.

[starlooove]

17 18 19 for the music ask meme!

17: A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

- The Apprentice by Gorillaz

18: A song from the year that you were born

- Drop it like It’s hot by Snoop

19: A song that makes you think about life

- Yo no se Mañana by Luis Enrique

[attiredpan]

I think my dad guessing “Hells Bells” when I put on Ride The Lightning” took years off of my life

[littlecrittereli]

Hi, first of all I’d like to say I love your art and writing, I read Reprogrammed in one sitting and it was marvelous, got me thinking of AUs. Everything my angsty little heart could desire. Wild Kratts has been a staple of my childhood so it’s amazing to see talented creators appreciating the show.

Secondly, for your Guardianship AU, that comic you made about Chris calling Martin cringe immediately thrusted a scenario into to brain that I could totally see happening as an alternative plot in “Let the Rhino Roll”

Zach: that’s a child

Chris, being held like a sopping wet kitten by a Zach Bot: and that’s and ugly, pickley, bitch!

Lastly, about the Reprogrammed AU, what’d you think would happen if the bros swapped places (Martin got captured why Chris remained safe). I love making AUs for AUs by tweaking certain things so I’d love to hear your thoughts. Personally I think it’d be a mixed bag as Chris would be both guilty and crippled with anxiety over his lost brother, leading into desperation and lashing out. Meanwhile I think Martin would loath the situation, but also feel weirdly content since he’s the one that got captured. That meant his little brother and friends were all safe and weren’t the ones going through the suffering. He’d probably also have heaping loads of guilt if he hurt Chris cause that’s his little brother who he’d sworn to protect and he just hurt him. So much angst potential

UR SO NICE THANK YOU!!!!!!!

(also that's such a silly prompt for Guardianship AU I will maybe draw that sometime if I get the chance <3 )

oooo.... a Martin version of Reprogrammed.... that would be really interesting! I agree that Martin would probably feel relief that Chris is safe. That is... until any sort of confrontation with Chris or Martin having any suspicion that he's hurt him. Martin would probably self destruct after that. But in a way I think Martin would be able to handle everything else a bit better because Martin takes on the mindset of "Bad things happen sometimes and it's out of our control" Meanwhile Chris is a very meticulous thinker in the sense that there needs to be a reason for things happening, and there needs to be a person to blame them on. And I think Chris would try his absolute best to fill in his brother's role during his absence, but ultimately feel super out of his league and Aviva or Koki would end up being the ones to step up as team lead.

Because as much as Martin goofs off or seems unorganized, I don't think the team realizes just how much they rely on him to make decisions. Ofc they make a lot of choices as a team and it's definitely not Martin bossing them around all the time, but in times of crisis or emergency, Martin's quick decision-making is what keeps them on their feet. Chris is great at planning, organizing, and strategizing, but put him on the spot and the poor guy will implode.

Super interesting concept though! I appreciate your thoughts; thank you for the ask!

[watermelonsugacry]

OMG could you imagine harry or yn on hot ones, I feel like yn would kill it(I’m not sure abt harry)😭

HOT ONES

A/N: this was so fun! ty to the lovies that sent in some questions for this one 💚 (picture credits to harianadimples & harianachile !) (4.6k)

GENRE: 1dbandmember!yn

SINCE 2010 masterlist

“Hey, what’s going on everybody. This is First We Feast, I’m Sean Evans, and you’re watching Hot Ones. It’s the show with hot questions and even hotter wings. And today we’re joined by the one and only YN YLN. You might have known her as one sixth of the most famous and influential bands in history, One Direction. She’s a triple threat and an 8 time Grammy award-winning singer, song-writer, musician, and producer and we shouldn’t be surprised if she adds a couple more on her shelf with her new album Waiting Room. The no features, no skip album that’s quickly making its way to the top of the charts. YN, welcome to the show.”

“What a fookin’ intro, man,” YN laughs and plants her hands on the circular table. “Thank yeh for having me on here.”

“The pleasure is all mine. It’s an honor to have you on the show. How are we feeling today?”

“M’actually extremely terrified,” She lets out a chuckle, clasping her hands together as her eyes look over the lineup of spicy wings in front of her.

“About the wings or the questions?”

“It’s half and half for sure.”

“So how are you with spicy foods?”

“M’quite alright with them but m’bit frightened by this gorgeous array of hot sauces here. Like—” YN holds up one of the tiny, glass bottles to the camera. “—this one quite literally has a picture of a bomb on it so,” She raises her hands in defense with a shrug of her shoulders. “Take that as you will.”

...

“Mhm,” YN nods as she licks her lips. “S’quite tasty. I like that one.”

“For the record, I did see that you ate the whole wing. Do you plan on continuing that as we go down the line?”

“I don’t waste food, man,” She smirks as she wipes her hands on the red cloth.

“So let’s start off with before you came into the spotlight. It was revealed that you actually didn’t want to continue singing as a profession when you were younger, but your childhood best friend and later on One Direction band member, Louis Tomlinson, made you audition on the XFactor with him. How did this come to be?”

“He tricked me actually. Louis had told me about how he was able to get an audition for the XFactor and I was super excited for him. Getting a chance like this was all he had talked about when we were growing up. On our way to Manchester—which was like an hour or two away from Doncaster—he told me that he got me an audition too and I was gonna sing in front of the biggest audience ever. The little shit."

"But do you think you would have auditioned if it were on your own terms?" Sean inquires.

"Probably not, if m'being honest," YN shakes her head. "And that honestly me skin crawl. M'very grateful for the path that I went on and that my fans have been giving me the opportunity to continue to do what I love for the past 12 years."

...

Once YN bites off of the last piece of her next wing, she shrugs her shoulders, “These wings are really good. This is easy, bro.”

“I’m just trying to keep up with you,” Seam chuckles before finishing off his piece. “Okay, so let me brag for you for a sec.”

“Alright,” YN lets out a nervous chuckle.

“You have 8, count ‘em, 8, Grammys in the 12 years since you became a solo artist and you have another impressive 8 nominations for the Grammys 2023. One of your many wins is being producer of the year—a category you nominated for the second year in a row—which you said in a Rolling Stones article that it was probably the best award out of everything you’ve ever received in your professional career as an artist. Can you give us some insight into how that became such an important staple on your shelf?”

“Wow,” YN huffs out a smile in disbelief. Her nostrils begin to flare and she can feel the tears threatening to escape her eyes. She feels uncharacteristically embarrassed that she’s suddenly overcome with emotions. “Woah, sorry. I don’t know why I was gonna cry for a second there.”

YN looks up with a chuckle, shimmies in her seat, before she gives a single clap. “Okay, m’good. Yeah I mean, for the first couple of years of my career, I fell in love with what it takes to actually make a song, how to layer instruments and vocals, and the details you can initially glaze over when you first listen to a song. But being the only woman in a music studio full of my male band members, producers, sound engineers, and everyone—it took me a while to be confident enough to speak out about making suggestions in the process of making a song.

I learned so much by just watching in me corner of the room, then I was shown bits and pieces from 1D’s production team. And when I went onto me solo career, I was taken under the wings of kickass producers like Kid Harpoon and Tyler Johnson. Being a woman in this industry—capable of making me own music is a huge accomplishment for me as an artist and for all women who want to break out in a male dominated environment.”

“Continuing the brag streak—”

“Oh, no,” YN smiles behind her red napkin. As confident and narcissistic as she can be, she’s never been one to take a compliment—especially the way in which Sean is just throwing them out there like free candy.

“—your first solo world tour sold out in less than 4 minutes, and your current tour sold out in less than two. How was it like to come into a solo tour after touring with the rest of One Direction five years straight?”

“Well to start off, that statistic is absolutely insane,” YN lets out a laugh. “It was such a big change to do this on my own without the boys by my side on stage. I remember doing a final dress rehearsal the day before me first show and while I sat on stage and just looked out at the massive arena I was in, I began to panic. It wasn’t like I hadn’t performed in that big of a room before but I began to think what if they only bought the tickets because they were so used to the boys? Like, what if they didn’t like just me onstage or the fact that I was doing choreographed dance routines and things like that? But that all changed once I was actually on stage performing. I…I’ve never felt that type of love before.”

...

After YN tosses the bone of her next piece of chicken away and as Sean begins his next question, she stares off to the corner of the table for a second and widens her eyes. Out of nowhere, the spice level has officially been kicked up.

“You’ve also made some impressionable fashion choices that have become a staple in not only your own wardrobe but in the closets of your fanbase. From your frilly shirts from your One Direction days to becoming the female face of Gucci. From your signature 7-inch platform heels to your variety of colorful and textured opera gloves. How important is fashion in your life and how you choose to express yourself?”

YN licks her swollen lips, chuckling a bit from the spice is starting to pick up.

“Fashion wasn’t something I was super passionate about growing up. I wore a lot of dark clothing when I was teenager and when I was in the band I began to wear a lot of shirts and pinks and high heels which was a drastic change for me to say the least. I then went into a lot of changes of like—” YN moves her hand fluidly up and down in a roller coaster motion. “—I was angsty to girly girl to frat girl to comfy to leather. And when I went on this solo journey, I was embracing both a new and older side of me with more pinks and heels but putting a sexier twist to it. And now m’all trousers and blazers but m’still very much figuring out me style. All of my different fashion ‘eras’ define a different chapter of me life and I think that’s such a cool thing about fashion. Clothes don’t wear you, you wear the clothes and when you have that in mind, it can give yeh a big sense of confidence.”

YN can’t help the smile tugging on her lips from her memories of being on stage, “And it’s such an indescribable feeling being on stage for tour and just seeing a sea full of the fans in those long gloves.”

“It has officially become one of many infamous YN YLN trademarks,” Sean points out.

“I guess so,” She laughs along with the host.

...

“We have a segment on our show called Explain That Gram where we do a deep dive on your Instagram and pull interesting photos that need more context.”

“Sounds good, man,” YN nods and she reaches for the hot sauce used for this piece of chicken. "This one has like a lemony taste to it. I like it."

"Well, we have this whole set for you to take home today."

"Shut up," Her eyes widen in excitement. "No way, that's very sweet of yeh. Thank yeh so much, I appreciate that."

When Sean pulls up the first picture on his laptop, YN immediately coos at the screen.

“Wow you guys really went far back, didn’t yeh? Yeah so this was at the band’s third tour, I believe. I remember having such a shitty day earlier before the show and to cheer me up, Harry asked if I could braid his hair,” YN giggles at the memory.

She was going through a rough patch with Matthew and they had an argument right before she had to do some interviews for the day and a show later that night. Knowing how to approach her best, Harry knocked on her dressing room door to see a teary eyed YN wiping her cheeks as quickly as she could. He didn’t ask her why she was crying or try to give her comforting words right away. Instead, he repeated his question when she gave him a furrow of her eyebrows and tilt of her head.

For the last 20 minutes before they had to head backstage, Harry sat on the floor in front of the couch in between her legs. As she twisted and weaved his long hair, he kept her laughing with poor jokes and funny vines he saved on his phone.

She didn’t have time to finish the middle section of his head and when she asked him to sit back down to take the braids out, he refused and basked in the warmth of her smile. He went on stage with them on and he never saw the smile leave her face.

“I had been bugging him to let me do it ever since he decided he wanted to grow his hair out and donate it to charity. It was a very sweet thing he did for me.”

“Hehe,” YN giggles happily at the memory this picture holds for her. She sees her 20-year-old self squished in between Harry and Louis, her Ray Bands over her eyes as she smiles brightly at the camera. “So this looks like 2014 1D and if you’ve seen the footage you can tell that we are—” YN hits a higher pitch as she sings her next words, “High as a fookin’ kite. We were in Brazil and we wanted to go out exploring but there was this massive crowd of fans outside our hotel—”

“Oh, don’t touch your eyes!” Sean quickly reminds YN as she goes to wipe at her eyes.

“Ah! ‘Fank you,” She laughs and dabs at her eyes once someone behind the camera hands her a tissue. “Okay, so there were a lot of fans blocking the front of the hotel and we couldn’t have just merely walked out and got to our cars or anything. I can’t remember who suggested it but we ended up getting out through the back of a bread van. We totally went by unnoticed!”

“We’re going in that?” YN points to the back of the white bread van that’s stuffed with pillows. By the tone of her surprised voice, the hotel workers’ eyes widen, their cheeks get red and they can feel the sweat accumulating on their foreheads in fear. They didn’t want to disappoint and anger a member of the most famous band on the planet. Yet their eyes stay wide for a different reason as YN breaks out into a beaming smile. “Sick!”

She grips onto one of the back doors as she swings herself into the tiny space covered in pillows.

Louis gives one of the hotel workers a reassuring smile and a pat on the chest, “Yeh get used to it. Can I come in and cuddle you, Niall?” He teases as everyone begins to squish in together. Ben Winston is the last to come in and close the door beside him. He’s brought a camera with him to record the trip as it’s going to be a part of the many video diaries that YN can’t keep track of.

“I used to be a baker so I love being in the back of the bread van,” Harry notes like he hasn’t brought up his part-time job from his teenage years before.

“Would you give it a rest, mate,” YN groans from her squished position between him and Louis, giving him a playful roll of her eyes before chuckling along with the rest of the boys. 

“I quite like it in here,” Zyan smiles happily from his corner of the van. It doesn’t take long before they can hear the hundreds of fans screaming outside the vehicle. Everyone makes a shushing noise to quiet everyone as they pass the masses of fans. 

YN already gets anxious when the band has to drive through massive crowds of fans who like to bang on the windows of the Range Rovers. The boys even like to push against the thick glass to counter the weight but that doesn’t stop the anxiety rushing to her chest when it happens. 

Her mind starts to race at the thought that if the fans did actually find out that they were in there, they could easily shred the tiny van into pieces. 

When Harry sees her chest begin to rise up and down at an increasing weight behind his dark sunnies, he doesn’t think twice about putting a hand over hers that’s gripping the pillow in the space between them. He’s thankful for the dimly lit setting and the way she has her legs bent as it covers their tightly, intertwined hands. She discreetly follows his nonverbal instructions and inhales deeply through her nose to copying how he makes a small ‘O’ with his mouth to exhale.

“Why don’t we make this trip a little more exciting?” Zayn wiggles his eyebrows as he pulls out something from his cargo shorts pockets. 

YN pushes her sunglasses up to the top of her head and squints at the tiny object between her bandmate’s fingers before she smiles in relief. She watches as Zayn brings up the rolled-up substance to his lips, flicking his thumb on the lighter before a flame appears. After starting it, he goes to pass it to Niall who immediately shakes his head. Once Louis’s taken a hit, he passes it to an eager YN.

Everyone begins to have their own side conversations and Harry feels the butterflies in his stomach threatening to escape when YN doesn’t let go of his hand. 

He watches from behind his pitch dark sunglasses as she holds the blunt between her thumb and first two fingers, wrapping her lips around it ever so gently and hollowing out her cheeks. Her teeth clench together as she holds the smoke in her lungs for a couple of beats, her eyelashes fluttering at the feeling before releasing the smoke into the space above her.

“How yeh feeling, Nialler?” Ben asks and turns the camera towards Niall in hopes of not capturing what the band is doing. Especially YN as it could cause harm to her “good girl” image that fans already know isn’t fully her.

“Not good,” He mutters out.

“Yeh want me to shotgun you one, Ni? It’ll make yeh feel better.” YN asks with a teasing smile once she blows out another puff from between her full lips, passing the blunt off to Harry. As he snickers along with the rest of the band, he has to admit that he’s relieved when Niall politely declines her offer. 

Once Harry has it between his lips and takes a deep inhale, he's suddenly coughing a few times into his fist.

"Woah," YN giggles and puts a hand on her bandmate's shoulder, already feeling the effects. "Maybe I should have offered you a hit instead."

Her teasing comment only makes him cough more at the intimate thought as he passes the drug to Liam.

"S'just been a while," He manages to say once he's calmed down.

"Just offering," YN smiles at him, biting down on her bottom lip as she leans her head back to the metal wall behind her.

"Well, you seem to be feeling better," Harry quickly changes the subject before he lets his hazy mind wander. He matches her position and leans his head back. A smile etches on his lips when she giggles, closing her eyes and nodding her head.

"Thanks to you," She whispers and gives his hand a squeeze. Getting into a fuzzy headspace, she doesn't think about how long she's been holding his hand or how it makes her skin tingle at his touch. Instead, she brings their hands up between them and pushes them flat against one another so their palms are together. "Woah, look how much bigger yeh hands are."

His dimples dig into his cheeks as he cheekily chuckles at her, letting her maneuver their hands together as she pleases.

"How long?" Louis asks the drivers through the wall behind him. After letting him know that they've arrived, he dramatically yells out, "Okay!"

As soon as their security teams have opened the back doors of the tiny van, everyone begins to scooch their way out.

"S'almost as big as me face!" Harry lets out a string of high-pitched giggles when YN grasps his hand in both of hers and holds it up close to her face to demonstrate her point.

“It made the experience 10x better than it needed to be,” YN laughs, reminiscing at the fun memories she had with her boys. “I just felt bad for Niall, poor thing got both motion sickness and a secondhand high.”

"Alright, last one."

“Yeah, so—” YN sucks in a deep breath through her teeth from the spicy wing she just had. “Um, this was around the time when I started to write some songs on me own, just out on a whim. This was when me manager told me that someone was interested in buying it. So that was me reaction to the news. As you can tell, I acted very professional and calm about the situation.”

...

"I must say that you're doing a really good job so far," Sean smiles at the pop star across the table. "Most would have finished their first glass of milk by now while you're still drinking water."

"I'm built different."

“It’s no surprise to anyone that you know your way around a guitar. You’ve shown off some of your favorite and unique guitars from your extensive collection over the past couple of years. From your custom-made Daisy Rock Debutante butterfly shape staple to your Fender Vintera '50s Stratocaster that was used in a plethora of ABBA’s songs. From Jimi Hendrix's 1967 Gibson Flying V to your baritone/tenor snail shaped ukulele—The Snailele. Out of the all of guitars in your care, what would you say is the coolest guitar you own and why is it your Red Special?”

YN covers her mouth as she laughs out loud while simultaneously trying not to think about the heat increasing in her mouth.

“How do you even know that? I mean, yeh asking me to pick me favorite is like choosing my favorite child. I love all me guitars and they all have a chokehold over me heart. My Red Special is just—” YN has to take in a deep breath in hopes to cool down the heat building on her tongue. “—one of the fookin’ coolest things I own. It’s a hand-crafted replica of Brian May’s guitar that he uses for literally everything and when I met him I nearly shit meself, m’not even joking. Like, that guy is fookn’ superhero, know what I mean? And when he gifted me the guitar, I saw the light, man. I literally had an outside body experience. Like I saw meself in the middle of Brian May’s dressing room as he handed me the guitar.”

“Some people buy and collect expensive cars, I have cool guitars,” YN shrugs with a content smile.

...

“Now, let’s talk about the infamous Harry Styles.”

YN nods her head towards the host, hissing in a deep breath from the hot wing she just ate. This piece has easily become one of the spicier wings so far and she can instantly tell why that is from the mention of her secret fiancé. She smirks as she raises her glass of water to her lips, “Lets.”

“So, you guys have known each other for a little more than 12 years now as you guys were in One Direction together. And on New Years 2020, it has revealed to the world that you guys were in a relationship. Now, I won’t ask for you to go into the details of your relationship but is there any particular reason as to why you guys have kept your anniversary a secret?”

“You know, from a very young age, mine and Harry’s lives have always been in the public eye,” YN licks her lips and chuckles as the burning sensation only increases the more she speaks. They don’t call this hot sauce DaBomb for nothing. “Holy shit. Think m’gonna have to take off me blazer for this one, is that alright?” YN questions, already shedding off her coat. The tattoos scattered along her arms go on display and fans can see Harry’s handwriting inked on her upper rib cage.

“Go ahead, whatever you need to do,” Sean gives her a comforting smile. “Here, I’ll even take my jacket off, too. We’re in this together.”

“I feel the support,” YN laughs but it only makes the stinging that much more intense. “M’actually starting to sweat. Oof okay umm…yeah, even the way our relationship was ‘announced’ kind of left us vulnerable, in a way.”

“What a start to the new year.”

“Exactly. And there was a time in our lives where we felt that everyone knew everything about us and it was something that just didn’t sit well with us. So to have this one piece of our lives for only ourselves just felt right. And even though I’m on social media more than he is and I post a couple of pictures of us every now and then, we definitely don’t feel that way anymore. Which feels really nice.”

“Moving onto the more professional side of your relationship with Harry, you’ve obviously worked with him during your time in the band. You were initially brought onto his production team as a songwriter for his first album, then a musician, vocal-arrangement manager, and producer for his second, and now you were all of the above plus co-lead producer for his current album, Harry’s House. You’ve also worked with big time artists like Little Mix, The Weeknd, Lizzo, and Olivia Rodrigo just to name a few. How did that initial experience help you grow as a producer and build relationships when working with other artists?”

“You’ve really done yeh research haven’t yeh?” YN giggles before going into a coughing fit, quickly bringing the red cloth over her mouth from the spicy wing. “Excuse me. Shit, sorry,” YN laughs before reaching for her tall glass of water.

“Is it finally starting to hit?”

YN takes a gulp of water, quickly licking her lips as she sniffles away the start of a running nose. Being as stubborn as ever, she shakes her head, “Nope.”

“We do have milk for you there if you need it,” Sean kindly points out and YN begins to chew on a piece of ice.

“Don’t need it, ‘fanks. Umm, oh right. Harry’s me best friend above all else and we’ve been writing together since as long as I can remember. We’ve gone through and learned about this process together for over a decade now. He’s considered one of me biggest clients and when we work together, I tell him the honest truth. I don’t like to suga’ coat shit and it’s how I work. That’s something that he knows, feel comfortable with, and respects. And there’s always that ‘something’ you learn about with every artist you work with. Like sure we can go into the studio cold turkey and make a song together but before I work with someone, I wanna take them outside of the mindset, ‘Okay, I wanna make a #1 hit single,’ and make a song that means something to them.”

YN swallows thickly, swinging her legs back and forth as she tries to get her thoughts in order from her spice-induced brain.

“With Harry, he’s sort of allowed me to explore and experiment when making music; he trusts me in that sense and as a producer, that’s the most important thing I can have when creating something as intimate as music.”

...

YN’s eyes widen when she sees Sean begin to shake the bottle, “O-oh we’re doing this?”

“It’s tradition around here to add a little bit more sauce on the last wing. Now you don’t have to if you don’t want to—”

“Seany boy, if there’s one thing yeh should know about me is that v’got a huge ego. But m’sure yeh already knew that,” YN just her hand out towards the host, wiggling her fingers while sucking in another sharp breath in hopes to ease the pain on her tongue. “Gimme that shit.”

With an uneasy sigh, YN shakes the bottle to pour some of the thick hot sauce to the last wing on the cutting board.

“Come on, YN,” YN whispers to herself. “You’re a bad bitch.”

Making sure to avoid her lips from touching the chicken as much as possible, she takes a heavy bite from the last wing.

She scrunches up her face as she chews but it turns into a pleasantly surprised expression. “Wait, what the fook that one was actually quite good. S’actually not that bad—oh shit, no nevermind.”

Sean chuckles at the rollercoaster of emotions displayed in front of him. YN gulps down as much water as she can.

“Okay, side question as you’re processing all of this: Since you have yet to reach for the milk we have for you, in your honest opinion, do you think Harry Styles could handle the range of spice that you’ve endured over the course of this show?”

YN chews and speaks around a mouthful of ice, “He can try but he wouldn’t make it past the second one.”

“Is that a little trash talk I hear?” Sean laughs.

“Listen up, baby,” YN leans her elbow on the table and points to the camera that’s solely directed on her. “I love yeh, you know I do, but you couldn’t eat any of this shit if yeh tried. Just the smell of it is gonna make your eyes water. Just looking out for you, lovie. And let’s face it, we both clearly know m’the stronger one here,” She blows a kiss at the camera and reaches for her water cup once again.

When she has the glass to her lips, she huffs out a giggle, “He’s gonna come after me for that later. Fook, s’like m’breahting fire right now.”

YN leans her forearms on the edge of the round table and balls her hands into fists to keep herself stable at the burning on her tongue intensifies.

“That last thing I wanna do before be close up shop here is play a little game of association. I’m going to throw out some stuff out to you and I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. Are you ready?”

“Hit me with ‘em.”

“Jacob Collier.”

YN scoffs and shakes her head with a smile, “A fookin’ mastermind.”

“The restaurant Danny’s Place.” YN throws her head back and laughs at how much research this guy actually did on her past. Her brain has turned into utter mush from the spicy chicken that she can’t come up with a polite, media-trained response.

“It’s still shit,” YN shrugs and she doesn’t even try to hide her smile.

“Loophole.”

“Woah,” YN’s eyes widen with a chuckle. “Oh my word. Hell yeah. Okay—you are like the best interviewer I’ve ever had in me life. Um, bitch’n.”

...

“Okay to this camera, this camera or this camera, tell the people what you’ve got going on lately.”

“Um—” YN blinks away her spice-induced tears away, sniffing and rubbing the red cloth to her runny nose. “M’currently on a world tour. So if yeh bought a ticket, I’ll see yeh lot very soon. Also, me new album Waiting Room comes out the day after tomorrow—Wait, when will this air? Well, it will be out very soon because I can’t really think straight at the moment. Erm, this show was a fookin’ piece of cake and Sean Evans is a legend.”

The Sean and the crew members behind the cameras all clap and cheer making YN laugh. Once the shoot is a wrap and the credits begin to show up at the bottom of the screen, YN gets up and out of her seat to give a hug to possibly her new favorite host.

“How often do you do this?” She genuinely asks.

“Every week.”

“You eat this spicy shit every week?” Sean nods and laughs at how wide her eyes get. “You’re a fookin’ legend, man. I mean it.”

taglist:

@wobblymug @be-with-me-so-happily @ashtongivesmebutterflies @kiwiskiwiskiwi @darlingdesire @obsesseddd @hopefulwastelandcreation @cacapeepee @breezie-b00 @harrysfolklore @theekyliepage @sunshinemoonsposts @nervousspiderling @tbslonelyhes @tenaciousperfectionunknown @harrystylesrecs @certified-nalayak @itsjustsel @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @gviosca @behindmygreyeyes @twobluejeans @allisonxmcu @theemeraldbutterfly @jean-love @marvellover-sam @b-reads-things @reveriehs @rach2602 @thurhomish @perrypughstyles @luvonstyles @mxltifxnd0m @teamspideyman @c00chiemonster @juiceboxrry @s8tellite @folklorehrry @illicithallways @claramllera @eunoiaax @hoya122 @nichmedder @sleutherclaw @gloriousmoneyrascalbiscuit @harianaswhore @teawithcyb0rgs @vrittivsanghavi @vc55bughead @futuristiccroissantlampsludge @onecrazydirectioner @valluvsu @itsgabbysblog @awkwardbisexuall @rosehel @sucker4angstt @isalove @diorchives @mrshiddlestyles02

[monsterfuckerconfessions]

Inspired by Ben 10 alienfucking anon, but I gotta agree with the basic idea of looking back on childhood favorites and just saying

"...Ooooohhhh...Cool."

I have a lot of similar personal cases.

Some standard ones like Frankie Foster making a generation super horny for tight black dresses and chokers, or Saria giving Zelda fans some hesvy love for the childhood friend thing. The one that sticks out in my head from the same game really hard though...

Zora Princess Ruto

She did some shit to my dumb baby brain that maybe wouldn't be seen on that scale again until Undyne came along and awakened some fish dicks.

I was either 8, 9, or 10 when I played Ocarina of Time. I got on the N64 hypetrain late since I got the SNES console gaming introduction after the later rounder redesign model was out.

Had some fun starts from some classics. Donkey Kong Country 2, Kirby Super Star, Super Mario World/Kart, the usual cool shit.

But later on, when my mom's boyfriend at the time was cool about showing me some SNES and N64 gaming (He ended up being a cheating alcoholic asshole, but I didn't know that yet, so I just took him at face value here)

He'd entertain my silly gawking and plot questions while he played and ended up lending some cool ones he never came back for (which I can't help but spitefully laugh at now) and they were all pretty fun, but obvious hood classic "The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past" was particularly great and led to some Discoveries(tm) later with Ocarina of Time.

I was super hyped about getting an N64 even if a year or two late to the party. Got some staples of the time that came with it of course. The obligatory classic games, Super Mario 64, Smash Bros., and obviously OoT, some bulky unwieldy third party controllers, some slightly better than the official monstrosity, some worse, and somehow most importantly here, Nintendo Power or Game Informer or whatever paper stuff that had strategy guides with cool pictures and stuff.

Prefacing a bit here: I was a single mom's baby, my dad walked out when my sister was 3 and I was like 0.4, so our house didn't have the dad porn stash to find. There was other stuff, some Victoria's Secret ads, my kinda hot single fifth grade teacher who seemed so weirdly fixated on gushing about how cute I was that it brings up some uncomfortable implications I can't confirm now, but also basic shit like strategy guides, gaming mags, and manuals with neat illustrations.

And somehow with all that, the last option just struck first with sifting through to find tits out post-timeskip fishwife Ruto, and at that point I really couldn't not fuck around and/or find out.

So I felt some things, started the playthrough and got up to Jabu-Jabu's Belly. And hoo boy, I was sexually curious already, but her actual in-game personality just DID things to me.

The tsundere shtick got a little worn out later, but the bitchy spiteful attitude to marriage promise 180 pipeline, the love for blue colored characters that could fill a Bible thick DSM, and her overall character arc just ruined me as a person in a way I find really hot.

Yes, I was into the kid version at the time too, but I was basically the same age as her in-game, don't overthink it.

So if the childhood marriage promise thing hadn't hit hard enough, the Water Temple hit so much harder by the end.

Adult Ruto tits out fish lady fucking hotwired my dormant libido and drove that shit 0 to 150 mph into the sunset. After the infamously confusing dungeon crawl and the disappointingly easy Morpha fight, that sealed it in the Sacred Realm jail hard for me, and unlike Ganon breaking out easy peasy like a Batman villain, I was not going anywhere.

Soon as I figured some stuff out playing in the shower and making up for spacing out in early proto-sex ed talks, it was just gonna happen.

I grabbed the nearest Nintendo Power or manual etc in one hand, my dick in the other and went to town, left for Zora's Domain, and never really left from there, cause I just started jackhammering my dick til it got sore and came whatever buckets I had at the time staring at Big Blue Titty Fish.

Everyone who played it knew the drill and had their personal favorites in the Link brothel. Zelda, Shiek, Saria, Malon (more potent after the older Majora's Mask counterpart), the Cucco lady (same deal with Anju), Darunia for the gay bar crowd probably, Impa, Nabooru, and my obvs by now favorite:

Ruto.

And for a lot of shortcomings and gripes I had with Majora's Mask, I didn't actually mind her getting clothed. I missed the titty out look for a little, but the dress was cute, the Zora band gang was particularly cool and interesting to me, and even though the Great Bay Temple doubled down on the Water Temple's problems, I still enjoyed the third Mask hunt pretty well and thought the band idea was really awesome and probably low-key inspired some of my interests in making music later.

And dressed or not, the fish wife love held really strong.

Saria gave people some weird feelings about The Friend Zone, Cremia gave people some extra love for titty hug motorboats, and Ruto cemented my love of blue girls and fish girls of any cup size, and she all-around gave me some lasting complexes for years to come.

Not for everyone, but my older sister used to watch me play Majora's Mask and comment on how horny she got about Zora mask Link, so it might just be for more people than I thought.

Undyne has some strong dom lesbian appeal that fed some stuff I already had brewing about strong ladies by the time Undertale hit, but for me, the bitchy to lovingly clingy fish wife will hold a special place as my first true furry/scaly/monsterfucking-adjacent experience.

Undyne could suplex me into dust and I'd still be really into that, but Ruto was THE og Blue-coded fictional crush that defined a lot of weird boners for me that can still be felt over half-mast today. (Don't ever ask me about my thoughts on Ranni the Witch, that question is turning the safety off a loaded gun and deepthroating it) (I love her and it's positive, I'm just exaggerating to say how annoying I will inevitably get about it)

Anyway, point is I fucking love clingy fish tsundere and if there was a canon choice for everyone's dumb elf-eared heart, for my heart's canon, that was her.

That was Ruto <3

.

[weewoow-20706030]

*Bernard's college class playing 2 truths, one lie (I know college classes don't do that stuff... Shut up.)*

Bernard: ok. I realise now I made mine a tad too obvious... But here goes, I have never been to an arcade, I am currently drowning in student debt, and I am dating CEO (ex-CEO?) of Wayne enterprises, Tim Drake- Wayne :)

Everyone: bro... You made it too obvious..

Bernard: yeah, ur right... The arcade was like a staple of my childhood. I go there at least once a month.

Everyone: ...

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

Writer Interview

Tagged by @jrooc thank ya!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Only three so far! Plus art postings and I'm planning to post more in the new year

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

138,169 words which feels like a lot

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I don't have 5 total fics yet lol but their rankings are

In Your Love

Lovers' Carvings

Psychopomp

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! (usually) I try to respond when people take the time to say something nice about what I've written, because they're encouraging me to write more and I think its good to encourage people to comment/interact more

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, no, I need a certain happy ending, at least in fanfiction. Yes my childhood was unstable, how did you know?

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They all have sickly sweet happy endings, refer to answer #6

7. Do you write crossovers?

No, I don't really see the appeal personally.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not hate per say, but just some bitching from people who can understand nuance or disagreed with my take on the relationship

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, so far I have only written it in longer form fics with context, all pretty vanilla. I've wondered for a long time why smut is such a staple of fanfiction and I think that people are frustrated with writers and directors casting aside sex as an (often) valuable part of romantic love and attraction. Like, why are you giving light to affection and communication and support but dismissing the sexual component of love with a closed door, winking and nudging the readers. Thats also a part of why RWRB was such a great movie in my opinion, it treated sex as a normal and healthy and loving part of a couples story, and fanfiction does the same thing. It all ties back into sex being viewed only through the male gaze bc bodice rippers have been doing that for years, but I digress

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! But I use a lot of really common themes and tropes so theres other fics like mine out there

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, that would be interesting.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I would love collaborating with other writers or creators here! Either writing together, making art to accopnay of fic or beta reading one another, my only real worry about getting involved is not making deadlines, my life is busy and I like to know i can work at my own pace and publish once completed so I don't leave anyone hanging

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly, Gallavich. But longest running? Zutara, I'm hoping to see a renaissance there with the new series

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I think I'll be able to get everything done, sooner or later

15. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at coming up with cohesive and interesting plots, and I think i'm slowly becoming pretty good at getting into a characters head and writing dialouge for them

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Proofreading! Bro I will print something I've written out to review but still catch like 7 stupid mistakes when I scroll through quickly after posting that shit drives me crazy

I also want to get really really good at controlling the pace of a piece of writing, not that its a weakness per say im just not as good as I'd like to be yet

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Eh, its fine. A lot of the time I wonder who it's for though, like if you dont speak the language and just translate something through an inaccurate translator, it's not really for a fluent speaker and its not really for you

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Shameless

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

I've toyed with writing a supernatural fic before. We'll see, I'm in no rush

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Psychopomp! No one else seemed to like it as much as I did but that's fine by me it was my weird little passion project :)

Share your throughs @sweetperversiongirl @stocious @mmmichyyy @vintagelacerosette

[game-boy-pocket]

And so there ends my run of Super Mario RPG. One of the only runs I'll ever get to finish on a cartridge from my childhood. This didn't take long, cuz I started playing it not long after I got my SNES. I stopped playing in Monstro Town because of all the bullshit happening in my living situation, I decided to pack it up early to be ready to move. If I ever play this one again, I just might see if there's any good romhacks or an MSU-1 version. Cuz i've played this one a million times already, did I mention I went through a period where this was one of the only games I had to play and I lived way out in the country with no friends nearby and nothing for kids to do? It was either this, Mario World, or a handful of games I wasn't that keen on, so I played a ton of Mario...

This time I decided to beat the game using Mallow and Geno. I normally switch to Bowser and Toadstool almost immediately as I get them, not because I didn't like these new characters, but this was the very first time you could have Bowser on your side and that was such a huge deal at the time, and Toadstool is just a very overpowered healer. It was tough but I managed to do it... and the secret Final Fantasy Boss as well.

... Mallow actually won by the skin of his teeth, only because he had the secret Lazy Shell armor that makes most damage meaningless.

Anyway..

Man I wish I could just make newer Mario fans understand why this was so special and why it's worth fighting for the likes of Geno and Mallow to be staples of the greater Mario universe even if only in spinoffs... it's not just some annoying boomer pick for Smash Bros, it's something old time Mario fans like me hold dear because for a brief time it kind of defined Mario's world when we previously only had a bunch of brick blocks to work with. I want a remake or a sequel so badly, especially now that they're not really making more traditional RPGs anymore... Anyway.. I guess now i'ts time to move on to EarthBound as my next RPG since they managed to tie in that poll I did... though I also kind of feel pokemon Crystal calling me.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Youngling Slayer 9000

Watching Jar Jar save Grogu from Anakin's Jedi genocide in the last episode of Mando, was surprisingly cathartic. I abhor Jar Jar Binks. I thought he was a thinly veiled, overtly racist, caricature of my people. That punk ass Gungan rubbed me the wrong way for years and, apparently, did the same for A LOT of people. SO many, in fact, that the actor who portrayed him, Ahmed Best, contemplated suicide. People were absolutely cruel to this man because of a character he played in a bad film. Listening to him recall the utter torment he suffered over the years because of that role was heartbreaking. I felt awful because i was apart of that mob. Never once did i wish ill or curse the name of Best, himself, but i would sh*t all over Jar Jar to anyone who would listen. It took this man years to come to terms with that hate so to see him don the robes and wield a lightsaber in service to saving Baby Yoda? That was dope. I am glad Best was able to get his shine, even if it’s three decades late. Dave and Jon have been redeeming Star Wars through Mando and other series. They have a plan to redeem the entire franchise after Kennedy did her very best to absolutely destroy. It’s wild to think that, in just a few years, we might be looking at Star Wars with eyes of joy and wonder and not trepidation and contempt. I am very happy for Ahmed Best and hope we get to see more of Kelleran Beq.

I wanted to say all of that up front because we are about to get into some sh*t right now and it was absolutely necessary to give Best, Mando, and Favloni their flowers. That sh*t was dope and it got me thinking about the real topic of this essay: Vader’s Redemption. If you’ve been around these parts for any number of years, you know i adore Star Wars. It’s a staple in my life and, while no as prominent as the three pillars of my childhood, it’s still a big part of it. My favorite character is, and will always be, Darth Vader. Also, just for transparency, a lot of the things i love about Star Wars are Vader adjacent. Ahsoka is my second favorite character and Dr. Aphra is a distant third. The Dark Lord of the Sith was just this imposing, malevolent, force of nature. His rage drove an already overpowered monster of flesh and steel that, to this day, is rarely topped as a cinematic antagonist. I love Vader so much. Just from a visual perspective, dude is overwhelming, but when you get into his canonical feats? Bro. That, however, brings me to the point of this entire goddamn post; How the f*ck does Anakin Skywalker get redeemed at the end of Jedi?

Darth Vader has so much goddamn blood on his hands. Like, WAY too much. And he did it with intent. His goal was to inflict as much harm on the Jedi, as he had inflicted upon himself. It’s insane how strong he hated and how much he slaughtered. The Yunglings were just the beginning but more than enough to bar him from the Force Ghost Paradise his previous Masters achieved. How many randoms did Vader kill? How many Empire Officers did he Force choke just for the hell of it? Bro, even before he had that inhaler strapped to his chest forever, mans was a whole ass problem. He slaughtered and entire camp of Sand People! As a teenager! He left no one alive! Men, women, and children! And that’s just the sh*t e see on screen. The stuff he gets up to in the comics is vast and horrifying. Vader in the comics is just a relentless machine of pure malevolence. Comic Vader’s entire being is violence. The whole time. All of the time. I mentioned Chelli Aphra as one of my favorite characters, right? Well, go read her introductory story in Star Wars: Darth Vader. That whole arc is a study in pure, savage, criminality on the part of Vader. It was insane. And that was the first goddamn story! You’re really going to tell me chucking Papa Paps down the poop chute of Death Star part deux, is enough to wipe that blood soaked wake Vader left behind? Really? Bro, there are no Jedi in the galaxy because of his very focused efforts! Why does he get let into Force Valhalla like dude was the best among them or some sh*t?

Don’t misunderstand me, i love Vader. I love Anakin. But realistically there is no redeeming this dude. He’s a monster and deserves to be remembered as one. Like, Vader committed genocides. He was part of the crew that destroyed a planet. Mans literally blew up Alderaan and then defended the giant murder moon responsible when the Rebels rightfully tried to destroy it. You don’t come back from that. If Himmler decided to take his service pistol and personally blow out Hitlers brains, he would still be a war criminal for his complacency in the goddamn holocaust. Vader was complicit in literally turning an inhabited, into a f*cking asteroid cluster. When you look at it from that perspective, Darth Vader has one of the highest body counts in all of fiction. There’s no way one life wipes that much red out of your ledger, even if said life was that of Space Wizard Hitler. And it wasn’t even like the decision to assassinate Sheev was a selfless one. Vader didn’t kill Palpatine through altruism, he did it because dude was torturing his son. He was being a good dad after literally being the worst. His daughter’s adopted family were from Alderaan. Vader cut off Luke’s hand after beating the sh*t out of him with random objects. Bro, killing Palpatine means nothing if you did it to effectively preserve your own self interest. What the f*ck? It’s almost like the Force doesn’t give a sh*t about any of this because it’s just this vague, enigmatic, energy which exists in us all and it’s when very human ideals are ascribed to it that it becomes tainted with contradictions. Wait...

[timaeusturntech]

Lmaooo. Attacking Bro for being a faggot, my favorite activity. Also it's very obvious that I'm the best of the Hals, I'm conceited enough to admit that. Sorry not sorry to the 10+ other ones I've met. Also, stealing the name I've given to my darling guitar?? (Well. Dove's darling guitar. I haven't actually played him yet) What if I copyrighted it, huh? You filthy plagirist

At least tell me it's a good game and not something horrifically shitty. The only time I've ever played Roblox it was one of those "Survive the Natural Disaster" ones so I don't have much of a reference

Yeah, man, I love attacking Bro for being a faggot. That's crazy that we share the same favorite activity. I think we wed in the spring now, all that.

Can't say I've actually met many Hals outside of our own, and we don't get along all that well. So although the title is bestowed out of lack of competition, I must acquiesce that you are the Best Hal. Would you like a medal to go along with that? Or a tiara, perhaps. Even a cookie. I'm a real generous guy like that. We can consider it an exchange for the way that you're so kindly allowing me to name my firstborn son your totally legally patented idea.

And nah, it's actually pretty cool for a Roblox game. It's a dungeon crawler, which I unfortunately must admit I'm a fan of as well. Professional autist, as we're all well aware. We're at level 111 right now; Bro wanted to get to 135 tonight but I'm not playing through boss dungeons solo, so he's probably going to go fuck off and sulk or something since it's "not as fun" doing grunt work to level up. Lmao. Anyway, the point was it's actually a decent game, if it weren't made on Roblox I probably wouldn't have anything to fuck with him about. Those Natural Disaster games were a staple of our childhood though.

[pipelinelaserraygun]

MUST READ: 🆕 revelations.

Despite the numerous times we have FALLEN short, we're in a position to DEFEND the honor of Heaven on 🌎 Earth.

The more I think about this, 🤔 I consider the timing:

I think stunts like these are being rolled out to provide DISTRACTION, for the IMPEACHMENT PROCEEDINGS of 👺👺👺 the bidens.

This is ALSO a disingenuous "photo op". It makes the department of justice/DOJ ⚖️ look like they are "impartial", when they have been looking the other way UNDER hussein/joey.

👺 "stunt"ED growth: joey/+ hussein are tugging @ 🇺🇸 our 👛 purse strings, and they'll continue until WE 🛑 stop it.

It's an uninterrupted robbery in progress, as of today...

What other stunts are there?

Ambassador Gandalf added,

"Economic direction WITHIN the controlling administration is obviously diabolic, in nature (Eph.6 12). Most pathetic is the fact that masses of the public are so ADDICTED to the gaslighting by those who dole out the pittance of 'social aide' to keep them in line with the lies (2Thes.2:7-12)! Political and economic gaslighting keeps those addicted to eating table scraps/tares satisfied with 'social aid' programs.

Why bother working our own gardens, when the enemy FILLS us with applesauce?

Filled my gas tank, went to 🛒 Ralph's, and got a couple bags of staple foods = $200 spent! Milk, bread, eggs & gas up 91% from October 2020. Mortgage rates up 180% since Oct 2020. My Social Security up a whopping 18% since Oct 2020. Watched ABC, CBS & NBC all report from White House press secretary that "Our economic plan is working!" Secretary of the Treasury Yellen (with a $220k salary) reports that "our economy is heading in the right direction." I just must have taken the wrong math and economics classes!

Not intended as a political commentary, just a measure of mathematics and economics. Oh, just noticed a barrel of oil on open market topping at $91 each vs $35.80 Oct 2020. Is all this "heading in the right direction"? Are we to just borrow MORE at today's higher rates to pay for daily deficits?"

MANY demo-🐀 RAT stunts are ABOVE everyone's "pay grade". 🕎✝️🛐 Father God, help dig us out of a hellhole.

Refresh your 🧠 memory: 👀 Look no further than your childhood to recall that bad guys endlessly pull STUNTS.

Broken political promises amount to 👺 MISTRUST.

[smokeybrand]

Youngling Slayer 9000

Watching Jar Jar save Grogu from Anakin's Jedi genocide in the last episode of Mando, was surprisingly cathartic. I abhor Jar Jar Binks. I thought he was a thinly veiled, overtly racist, caricature of my people. That punk ass Gungan rubbed me the wrong way for years and, apparently, did the same for A LOT of people. SO many, in fact, that the actor who portrayed him, Ahmed Best, contemplated suicide. People were absolutely cruel to this man because of a character he played in a bad film. Listening to him recall the utter torment he suffered over the years because of that role was heartbreaking. I felt awful because i was apart of that mob. Never once did i wish ill or curse the name of Best, himself, but i would sh*t all over Jar Jar to anyone who would listen. It took this man years to come to terms with that hate so to see him don the robes and wield a lightsaber in service to saving Baby Yoda? That was dope. I am glad Best was able to get his shine, even if it’s three decades late. Dave and Jon have been redeeming Star Wars through Mando and other series. They have a plan to redeem the entire franchise after Kennedy did her very best to absolutely destroy. It’s wild to think that, in just a few years, we might be looking at Star Wars with eyes of joy and wonder and not trepidation and contempt. I am very happy for Ahmed Best and hope we get to see more of Kelleran Beq.

I wanted to say all of that up front because we are about to get into some sh*t right now and it was absolutely necessary to give Best, Mando, and Favloni their flowers. That sh*t was dope and it got me thinking about the real topic of this essay: Vader’s Redemption. If you’ve been around these parts for any number of years, you know i adore Star Wars. It’s a staple in my life and, while no as prominent as the three pillars of my childhood, it’s still a big part of it. My favorite character is, and will always be, Darth Vader. Also, just for transparency, a lot of the things i love about Star Wars are Vader adjacent. Ahsoka is my second favorite character and Dr. Aphra is a distant third. The Dark Lord of the Sith was just this imposing, malevolent, force of nature. His rage drove an already overpowered monster of flesh and steel that, to this day, is rarely topped as a cinematic antagonist. I love Vader so much. Just from a visual perspective, dude is overwhelming, but when you get into his canonical feats? Bro. That, however, brings me to the point of this entire goddamn post; How the f*ck does Anakin Skywalker get redeemed at the end of Jedi?

Darth Vader has so much goddamn blood on his hands. Like, WAY too much. And he did it with intent. His goal was to inflict as much harm on the Jedi, as he had inflicted upon himself. It’s insane how strong he hated and how much he slaughtered. The Yunglings were just the beginning but more than enough to bar him from the Force Ghost Paradise his previous Masters achieved. How many randoms did Vader kill? How many Empire Officers did he Force choke just for the hell of it? Bro, even before he had that inhaler strapped to his chest forever, mans was a whole ass problem. He slaughtered and entire camp of Sand People! As a teenager! He left no one alive! Men, women, and children! And that’s just the sh*t e see on screen. The stuff he gets up to in the comics is vast and horrifying. Vader in the comics is just a relentless machine of pure malevolence. Comic Vader’s entire being is violence. The whole time. All of the time. I mentioned Chelli Aphra as one of my favorite characters, right? Well, go read her introductory story in Star Wars: Darth Vader. That whole arc is a study in pure, savage, criminality on the part of Vader. It was insane. And that was the first goddamn story! You’re really going to tell me chucking Papa Paps down the poop chute of Death Star part deux, is enough to wipe that blood soaked wake Vader left behind? Really? Bro, there are no Jedi in the galaxy because of his very focused efforts! Why does he get let into Force Valhalla like dude was the best among them or some sh*t?

Don’t misunderstand me, i love Vader. I love Anakin. But realistically there is no redeeming this dude. He’s a monster and deserves to be remembered as one. Like, Vader committed genocides. He was part of the crew that destroyed a planet. Mans literally blew up Alderaan and then defended the giant murder moon responsible when the Rebels rightfully tried to destroy it. You don’t come back from that. If Himmler decided to take his service pistol and personally blow out Hitlers brains, he would still be a war criminal for his complacency in the goddamn holocaust. Vader was complicit in literally turning an inhabited, into a f*cking asteroid cluster. When you look at it from that perspective, Darth Vader has one of the highest body counts in all of fiction. There’s no way one life wipes that much red out of your ledger, even if said life was that of Space Wizard Hitler. And it wasn’t even like the decision to assassinate Sheev was a selfless one. Vader didn’t kill Palpatine through altruism, he did it because dude was torturing his son. He was being a good dad after literally being the worst. His daughter’s adopted family were from Alderaan. Vader cut off Luke’s hand after beating the sh*t out of him with random objects. Bro, killing Palpatine means nothing if you did it to effectively preserve your own self interest. What the f*ck? It’s almost like the Force doesn’t give a sh*t about any of this because it’s just this vague, enigmatic, energy which exists in us all and it’s when very human ideals are ascribed to it that it becomes tainted with contradictions. Wait...

[anitosoul]

tripreport.017: Curaga

sonic healing for the soul ☮️

Key Inspirations

Ghostly (Music label)

Yaeji’s set at Nowadays Nonstop (DJ set)

John Glacier – SHILOH (Music album)

Dub music (Genre)

UK Garage (Genre)

Rachika Nayar (Music artist)

K Wata at Nowadays Nonstop (DJ set)

My dog Noodlez (RIP)

Cigarettes on the fire escape (Activity)

TSHA (Music artist)

Damon Bradley (DJ)

Drag shows (Event)

PinkPantheress (Music artist)

Reunions (Event)

MoMA (Place)

Basement (Venue)

Being emotionally overwhelmed at a Phoebe Bridgers concert (Activity)

Claud Monet’s Water Lillies (Painting)

Violeta Parra (Music artist)

Curaga Tracklist A-Side: Intima

Lee “Scratch” Perry & The Upsetters – From Creation

Little Simz – Gems (Interlude)

PinkPantheress – Passion

Nia Archives – (Over)Thinking

Triathalon – Pressure

Yaeji – Therapy

Amindi – Great Again

John Glacier – Platoon

The Montclairs, Phil Perry – Dreaming’s Out of Season

Ivy Lab – When I Go

Isaiah Rashad, Amindi – All Herb

Hiatus Kaiyote – All the Words We Don’t Say

Frankie Knuckles, Jamie Principle – Your Love

King Princess, Avalon Emerson – PAIN (Avalon Emerson’s Half Dub)

Hana Vu – Maker

Park Hye Jin – i jus wanna be happy

Audrey Nuna – 80deg

Curaga Tracklist B-Side: Insula

Soul Bros. Inc., Mr. Saturday Night – Pyramid (Mixed)

Thee Sacred Souls – Will I See You Again?

quickly, quickly – Everything is Different to Me

Ombachi, Chloe Hart – BREEZE

Vince Staples, Fousheé – TAKE ME HOME

JPEGMAFIA – living single

Tirzah – Sink In

Injury Reserve – Superman That

L’Rain – Find It

Lil Nas X – LIFE AFTER SALEM

Kate Bush – Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God)

The Sanctuary – hold on

Rachika Nayar – Clarity

TSHA – Sister

Mix Factory, DJ XTC – Take Me Away (XTC Come Hard Mix)

Jamie Jones, Katy B, Nookie – Sound of Music

Kacey Musgraves – gracias a la vida

Link to my original writeup for this month can be found here.

This month’s mix continues the themes from Ep016 and is all about sonic healing through music. Curaga is the strongest healing spell from Kingdom Hearts, a video game series I’ve played since childhood. I thought it was a great representation of what music has been for me after going through a lot in September; I’ve really leaned into using music as a way to process everything that’s been happening in my life. A few ideas came up this month that were particularly relevant for me:

When nothing around you makes sense, listen to the music—it always makes sense

The beat is eternal

Your 20s are a constant balance between intimacy and isolation

A good friend told me that last point, and it was the framework for the A side/B side of this month’s mix, Intima and Insula. Each of the songs I selected for this mix have represented some form of intimacy, isolation, or healing for me, and spending so much time with these songs through working on this mix and getting more into DJing has been very comforting. The lyrics of each song are important and tell a narrative that is representative of my feelings from the past month, so I hope the mix speaks for itself.

The theme for this month originally started off as “The Future,” where I wanted to highlight songs and artists that represented the future of music. While this mix ended up taking a more personal slant, a lot of the songs on here are uniquely genre-bending and come from artists with underrepresented identities. Major inspirations this month come from artists like Yaeji, TSHA, Little Simz, Lil Nas X, Injury Reserve, and a lot of artists from the Ghostly label; these are all artists who are pushing the boundaries with the music they make and unapologetically celebrate their identity in their sound. 

I also made a physical mixtape for this month’s mix which is a hobby I took up during lockdown. It was really fun designing the cover and having a tangible form for the mix, allowing it to exist as a physical journal through music. The images for the cover art are photos I took of the water lilies paintings in the Monet room at the MoMA which really captured the mood of the mix and my September in general.

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I don't know how to describe how I've been feeling the past 2 days. It's like I feel young/small/little lol

I have this big world full of choices and I feel like a child in a candy store, I have no idea which aisle to walk down. They all lead to the back of the store aka death/retirement but how should I get there? All the aisles have candy but which one is the optimal route where I'll get the most quantity and count of candies that I know I like but also what about new candies that I don't know exist but when I see the packaging I'll want to try them out? but then what if they'll end up tasting bad and being a waste of my time? so overall from the aisle descriptions, which one seems the most me and will be most worthwhile to go down? But also take a step back and remember it's ALL candy and although there's a small chance one of these aisles could be a total flop and I won't want anything in it and will wish I could go back and walk down another one - there is a much higher chance that I'll like at least one thing, cause bro it's a candy store!!! Plus if I walk really quickly and don't have a kid with me maybe I WILL have time to walk back up another aisle and still get to the back of the store where the refrigerated drinks are! Damn am I just picturing a seven eleven of my childhood. In which case like the 23 years I spent already in school were all at the slushies counter near the front of the store, there's still 2/3 of the store to go before I get to the back!

Since September my mindset has been to pick one goal at a time and chip away at it one day at a time with one small attempt at a time and hope that it'll compound over time. But I'm used to being in an engineering program where even tho it just felt like one day at a time, within 4 months I'd learn SO much knowledge and would progress considerably. Whereas now it's december and I can't even feel if I did anything productive with my time.

Also my tummy always hurts! Anyways yeah just gotta stick to my daily todo list and keep getting them done.

And also here's how I feel about all of my friends that started working right after graduation: to me it feels like yknow the stuff at the end of the aisle that's on sale or is the stores own branded products that they're pushing and know that people will put into their cart as they're walking by because it's cheap and/or a staple item? I feel like that's what they did. They're filling up their cart with the aisle front items and I'm being picky about using up the space in my cart cause what if I find something else in the aisles that I want to load up on? and then what if I'll regret picking these up so soon