#bros are doing THE MOST not to be like their shitty parent now my god look what happened

[todayisafridaynight]

cant believe masumi and sawashiro tried to end generational trauma and one of them got his body dumped in the river and the other was hauled off to jail for murder cause he wanted to make his baby happy

[seventhemaverick]

Astro Observations 🌱

Disclaimer: This is my first Astrology post! I tried to do this earlier this year but tumblr lagged and it deleted all of my hard work lol. But now I’ve gained the courage to give it another go! I’m not a professional astrologer. I just study it in depth when I have time. Still very much a beginner. Please be kind and if I’m misinformed let me know! If you want to repost my work please credit me. This also has personal opinions in here don’t take it too seriously babes!

🌾 I don’t typically think Leo’s and Scorpios go together romantically BUT any other relationship outside of that exudes power team. For ex: Kylie and Kris Jenner. Scorpios are known to love power and Leo’s love the spotlight! Kylie was bound to be a favorite after her « ugly duckling » phase. Kylie rolls in the dough and Kris keeps that empire going. I’ve seen many Scorpio parents with Leo kids and they really seem to love them the most lol

Let’s talk about underdeveloped placements real quick!

🌿 Having a parent that is toxic or underdeveloped and has placements that fall into your second house can obliterate your self worth. ESPECIALLY if you have planets in that house and their placements are exactly conjunct 0° or 1-3°.

🌾 If your mars sign is exactly square one of your parents mars or 1-5° orb… 🌚 take the steps to move out if you haven’t already it’s for the best.

🌿 Capricorn moons I wish I could hug all of you. You had to grow up so fast and got handed some of the worst cards. But nevertheless resilience is your middle name. As you age things will get easier if you stand on business! Integrity is key.

🌾 I know libras are known to be superficial or whatever and I’m kinda one of them lol. I literally live off of aesthetics and I typically have nice skin but when I have a massive break out? I literally want to hide until they’re gone. My stress is next level when I don’t look my best.. I’m also a Leo Venus 😅 in the tenth house at that and have cancelled plans when I look and feel shitty.

🌿 All of the air signs almost always value intellectual stimulation first from their partner. Someone they can have great rapport, banter with. Someone that’s witty and knows a wide variety of subjects or has many interests is very hot. Sagittarius is the air sign of the fire signs so I’ll loop them in on this too.

If we lost any zodiac element, it would bring chaos to the entire world.

🌾 Air brings logic and reasoning, water brings compassion and empathy, earth brings grounding and patience, fire brings passion and vitality. Life is about interconnectedness.

🌿 I remember reading a blog that the gods put the constellation of Libra in between Virgo and Scorpio because they were too much alike and it’s so true lol. Both signs can be so compulsive and it’s overwhelming from what I’ve heard from Virgo and Scorpio placements. I can also see this easy going equivalence being the case for Sagittarius being in between Scorpio and Capricorn. The benefics happy go luckies in between the malefics drained and over it.

🌾… moon 3rd house overlay is addictive especially combined with 7th/8th/12th overlays in that synastry. I don’t think I can ever do that again unless we both have it overlaying each others charts. Someone’s moon in your 3rd house, their mind fascinates you and it’s easy to communicate with them you feel seen and heard. You dream about them, you think about them all the freaking time. It is the most annoying thing because why are you taking up my brain space like that bro? I had this with someone and I still think about them it’s been over for quite some time now. Another person that’s in love with me, my moon falls into their 3rd house and they tell me how much they think about me and day dream about me. I had said issue of daydreaming with the other guy. 2/10 would not recommend unless moon person is developed.

🌿 When the moon transits your first house you’re more likely to be more emotional and make drastic changes to your physical features! When Doja Cat shaved her head the moon was transiting her first house and I literally did mine the next day when it was transiting my first house.

🌾 Opinion but I love Pisces placements they are so helpful and loving when developed. I think the underdeveloped ones are too but they expect something out of it where the developed ones are just really selfless. I’m a Pisces Stan! I have so many in my life lol I have no Pisces placements. My 5H is in Pisces lol

🌿 Degree theory is that gworl. It helps you relate to the planet and it’s placement more depending on what the degree rules. For example I was dating a Sagittarius Venus in the 9th house at the 9° and he embodied that free spirited nature of Sag Venus fr. Another example, you can be a Pisces Venus but it’s in your first house at the first degree and the way you love embodies a more aries way of loving. Fiery, passionate a bit aggressive but very deep and tender to the core.

🌾 I’ve also heard the theory of when you reach the age of certain degrees of the placements you have you unlock that placements characteristics. Something significant happens to you during that age or you might master that placement regarding the planet and house placement.

🌿 The degree of your rising sign is more than likely the age of something significant happen in your physical life/to you physically. This is tea y’all.

🌾 You most likely share placements or degrees in your chart with your siblings. My sister is a Scorpio sun, Aries rising, Virgo moon and I’m a Libra sun, Scorpio rising, Aries moon. If I was born two days earlier I would’ve been a Virgo sun and if she was born one or two days later she would’ve been a Libra moon. So I think thats pretty cool. We’re also both Venus dominant and she has a Libra stellium 💗. You really choose your family for your next life lol like that’s so crazy to me.

🌿 Ima say dis with my chest. STOP doing wrong by Saturn ruled placements!!! Saturn is ruled by Capricorn, Aquarius in traditional astrology and we cannot forget about its exalted sign in Libra. As a Libra, I receive karma with the quickness but also people that have done wrong by me their quality of life decreases and or whichever house Saturn is in their chart is deeply affected in the worst ways.. daddy Saturn don’t play bout his! Be fair and follow the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

🌾 Having heavy Sagittarius placements in your chart makes you open to learn different languages or different cultures.. just always wanting to learn. Whatever house it’s in you want to master in life.

🌿 The mutables Gemini Virgo Sagittarius Pisces love their niches, they are the teachers and preachers of the zodiac.

🌾 Geminis have the gift of gab more than any other zodiac. Sagittarius could possibly go toe to toe with them

🌿 If anyone ever tries to degrade you for studying astrology and eggs you on to prove this practice to be true, get their birth info and read them their Chiron sign and house placement. Hit ‘em where it hurts!

🌾 Scorpio and Libra placements are usually the generational trauma breakers of their family. Honorable mention- Saturns children, Capricorn and Aquarius

🌿 An undeveloped Capricorn placement that enters your life is literally satan reincarnated to torture you for whatever you did wrong in your past life. And I (if u were raised around Christianity) believe Jesus was a Pisces/Aries! I can argue about this all day! In tarot Capricorn rules the devil! Like hellooooo

🌾 Sixth house/Virgo placements are pretty good at taking care of pets and plants. They feel the most sane around nature and animals.

🌿 Personal planets harmoniously aspected to Neptune make the person seem very angelic like. Very soft souls, earth angels. Hard aspects have people having an even more distorted projection of you.

🌾 Personal planets harmoniously aspected or not to Uranus gives you that shock factor some people will be repelled and some people will be very intrigued.

🌿 Aries placements especially sun and moon are really loyal! I’m talking mostly platonically. Once they see you as their person they are truly ride or die.

🌾 Cancer placements can be one of the most loving and giving when developed. Some spiteful mfs when underdeveloped omg.

🌿 I realize cancer placement women get treated with the cutest romantic gestures. I think they lovers want to do these things for them because they give off ethereal or princess vibes but they’re also real nasty in the sheets lol

🌾 Cancers don’t really get a bad rep even when they do shady things. For example: Selena Gomez when she dated Abel even tho she was cool with Bella was super weird. And I think a lot of people forgot how Kevin hart cheated on his wife like it was nothing lol. Ariana grande with the donuts and now the Ethan thing chileee. It’s like they get a second of backlash and then everyone adores them again lol.

🌿 Having a grand trine in your chart can make you so damn lazy in the houses those planets/figures are in 🥹🥲. It’s crazy cuz that talent(s) will come natural to you and you’ll over look it! Please don’t.

🌾 Grand squares are TOUGH but it pushes you to break cycles and overcome so much in your life. Same with t-squares

🌱 Astrology is really a map. It shows you which path you can take and where you can end up when you include discernment and discipline into your daily life. It’s never an excuse to behave the way you do. Ultimately it helps us reach our most aligned and enlighten self! I hope you all enjoyed. 🌱

Idk why I can’t figure out how to delete this question thing so let’s do a cute lil questionnaire!

[morningberriesao3]

MWMD - Hold Me Close

Steve Harrington X Virgin!Eddie Munson

Summary: Steve can't keep living on Wayne’s couch. So Eddie makes him an offer.

Word Count: 4K

Chapter: 3 of 6 CHAPTER LIST

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Content Warnings: Explicit m/m sexual content including… Virgin Eddie Munson, Dry Humping, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Minor Crossdressing (ahem, EDDIE WEARS A G-STRING), Oh no they’re both tops?! what will they do!!?!, Top Steve Harrington, Power Bottom Eddie Munson, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Nipple Clamps, Under-Negotiated Kink, Unsafe Sex, Creampie. Underage Drinking and Recreational Drug Use.

Tags: Eddie Munson lives, 5 + 1 Things, slow burn, POV Eddie Munson, Gay Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Slow Burn, Sexual Tension, Caretaking, Massages, Sharing a Bed, House Party, Play Flighting, Bros Being Bros (JK it’s very homoerotic), Halloween, Boys in Makeup, Independence Day, New Years Eve, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending

Many Ways, Many Days, to Say ‘I Love You’

MAY 18th, 1986

Steve continues to walk around the trailer with a pained look on his face, stretching and popping his back, kneading at it with his fingers, swallowing Tylenol with his morning coffee. And he continues to refuse to go back home to his own bed.

“Seriously, Munson. Not another peep from you.”

Eddie has been trying for the last half hour to convince Steve that he’ll survive overnight on his own. He’s rarely in pain anymore and he has some pretty good drugs from the doctor that he can pop if it becomes too much (although he’s been frugal, storing most of them in his little metal drug box because prescription pain meds can go for like, five bucks a pill).

“Your back has been fucked up for days, man.” Eddie puts his hands on his hips and briefly thinks about how he’s been spending so much time with Steve that he’s now adopting his mannerisms. He switches to crossing his arms over his chest instead. “You’re literally in worse shape than me now. Go home.”

Steve sighs, shrugging his vest for Family Video on overtop of a pink polo. He kind of looks like a lollipop that Eddie wants to lick. “Can I level with you, dude?”

Eddie isn’t expecting the look he receives from Steve. Up through his lashes, soft, maybe a bit embarrassed. Definitely a little timid. Eddie nods.

“I don’t really want to go home.” Steve watches as Eddie takes in the information. He furrows his brows a bit, because who wouldn’t want to go back to a four-bedroom, two-level, mini-mansion with a swimming pool, to slum it on the ancient couch inside of a cramped trailer? “I know it’s like, a lot to ask. If I can stay here. I just – this feels like home. More than my place ever did.”

Eddie gapes at him.

“But I can leave if you want me to. I know this was supposed to be – um – temporary.”

“No,” he says slowly, squinting his eyes at Harrington like he has fine print written on his face that might give Eddie more insight. “You’re telling me you want to be here, and not at your place? Not just to like, take care of me?”

Steve nods, chewing on his lip on one side.

“Why?”

Steve raises his shoulders and lets them drop back down. “I don’t get along with my parents.”

“Shit, really?”

Eddie knows all about that. He left the home he used to live in with his folks to move in with uncle Wayne. Of course, it was because they had figured out that Eddie was gay when they saw him kiss another boy on the cheek on Valentines Day. God forbid. Eddie didn’t know it was wrong at the time, but he sure figured it out pretty quickly when his parents shamed him about it everyday for the next year. He was sure Steve would never have to deal with that, but yeah, he knows what it’s like to have shitty parents.

Steve just kind of shrugs it off, like he’s marinated with the idea for long enough that it no longer phases him. “Yeah. But, like I said, I don’t want to be a nuisance or anything.”

“You’re not a nuisance.” Eddie feels kind of bad, if he made Steve feel unwelcome by trying to get him to go home. He just assumed that he’d want to leave and was taking pity on Eddie by staying. But who was he to say no if Steve liked it better in the trailer? “You can stay as long as you want, man. Wayne likes you here. This place has never been in better shape.”

It’s true. Steve has made it a bit of a routine – cleaning and patching holes and painting on his days off. Things that neither Eddie nor Wayne cared about or were capable of fixing. It was another thing that Eddie just assumed was pity, but he’s starting to learn that maybe it’s coming from a different place entirely.

Steve perks up, a bashful smile playing on his beautifully full lips.

Shit, not that Eddie is like, staring at them or anything.

“Yeah?” he asks, nudging Eddie a little too hard in the arm with his fist. Ex jock. Underestimates his own strength. “Like roommates for real?”

Eddie subtly rubs his upper arm. “Like roommates for real. On one condition.”

The excited expression wipes away from Steve’s face and is replaced by one of skepticism. “And what is that condition?”

“You take the bed.”

“No,” says Steve simply, quickly, shaking his head and grabbing his keys from the counter where he leaves them. “Nope. Nadda. Not a chance in Hell.”

“Harrington!” The trailer door swings open and slams shut behind Steve’s ridiculous (perfect) mousy brown hair before Eddie can even get a word in. He runs to unlatch the door, fumbling down the steps and onto the sharp gravel where he dances around on bare feet. “If you say no you have to go home!”

It’s an empty threat. Eddie would never kick Steve out – make him go back to his parents that he obviously doesn’t like – even if he wanted to couch-surf for the rest of his life. But Steve doesn’t need to know that.

“Well, that’s not happening,” Steve says, rounding the curve of the driveway to his shiny BMW, which sticks out like a sore thumb next to Eddie’s rust bucket that he calls a van. “I’m still a guest and I refuse to kick you out of your own goddamn bed. So I guess I’m going home.”

Eddie bristles. “For fuck’s sake, dude. What’s it gonna take?”

“You could offer me all the money in the world –” which Eddie finds hilarious because Steve already has it, “– and I still wouldn’t kick you out of your bed, Munson.” Steve folds himself into the driver’s seat of his car, turning the ignition and cranking the window down to smile up at Eddie. “Should I move out tonight, or do I have a grace period?”

Eddie knows that Steve is playing along. They are both stubborn in their own way, so arguing will probably be counterproductive. Perhaps a compromise is better.

“What if we share?”

The offer slips past his lips before he realises that – fuck – that’s really weird. He only has a double bed, which means there’s not much room. And even if there was – even if he had one of those California Kings that he’s only seen in magazines – guys don’t just share beds platonically.

He opens his mouth to retract his offer, or maybe, somehow, turn it into a joke.

But Steve always has a way of surprising Eddie. Of making him nervous beyond compare. Of making him regret the things he says, and in this case, offers.

“Yeah, okay,” he says easily like it’s the most normal suggestion he’s ever heard. It makes Eddie’s eyes bug out from his face. “I want the side closest to the door.”

Steve’s window is rolled up and his car is backing from the driveway before Eddie’s coherent enough to form a response. Mostly because he never in a million years imagined himself sharing a bed with Steve Harrington (well, he imagined it, but he never thought it would come to fruition). Partly because, perfect, he likes the side closest to the window anyway.

It’s almost alarming how quickly Steve accepted the offer. No rebuttal. No counteroffers. Just a simple yes.

It’s enough to cloud Eddie’s mind with questions like ‘what does that mean?’ and ‘what did I just do?’ as he frantically strips his bed and washes the sheets and the blankets. He even puts the fluffiest pillow on Steve’s side (oh God, Steve has a side), because he’s nice like that. Also because the flatter pillow is about a decade old and Eddie doesn’t want Steve’s face pressed into the place he’s been drooling his whole life while he’s trying to sleep.

Well, fuck, maybe he does?

Steve only has a five-hour shift, and Eddie spends the entire time cleaning his mess nervously, like Steve hadn’t been in his room that very morning, wading through the piles of both dirty and clean laundry on the floor. He clears out the top shelf of his dresser because Steve has been living out of a suitcase and it was about time that ended.

It all feels very domestic. And a little embarrassing, because he didn’t think the first time he moved into a single bedroom with someone he’d still be under the same roof as uncle Wayne.

None of that really matters though, because Steve and Eddie will only be sharing a bed in the most innocent sense of the phrase. There will be no canoodling. It’s kind of sad, but it’s the only fact that keeps Eddie from having an actual panic attack.

Two bros, sharing a bed. As they do.

Maybe it would be easier if Steve had never seen Eddie naked. If his fingers had never grazed Eddie’s junk. Maybe it would be easier if Eddie hadn’t been squeezing the shit out of the soft flesh that covers Steve’s hips just a few days ago. If he didn’t explicitly remember exactly what that felt like. Maybe it would be easier if he hasn’t gotten into the habit of panting Steve’s name right before he comes, in the very bed they’ll now be sharing.

For actual, literal, Christ’s sake.

He just hopes that he doesn’t do something stupid in his sleep, like try to make out with him or something. If that’s even something people accidently do in their sleep.

Every thought Eddie has ever had leaves his head when he hears the slam of Steve’s car door outside of the trailer. It’s impossible that it’s been five hours, but when he looks at his alarm clock, he’s proven wrong.

He can’t help but wonder if maybe it’s all too much – that it’s weird he cleared out part of his dresser and made up the bed as nice as he could manage. But there was no going back now.

“Hey, man,” Steve says as he swings open the trailer door like he really does consider it home. “What’s that smell?”

Oh, another thing. Eddie sprayed his room down with lavender fabric refresher. It’s supposed to help you sleep, and Eddie feels like he might need all the help he can get in that department. Maybe then he won’t stay up to stare at Steve all curled up next to him.

“Nothing. Uh, just laundry detergent.” It’s kind of the truth, so it works. “How was work?”

“You know, stressful as always. Rewinding people’s returns is really taxing stuff.”

“So I hear. I don’t know how you manage, day in and day out and day in…” Eddie drones on dramatically. “That’s why I’m – what do they call it? – an entrepreneur. Totally self employed, baby. Short hours, all profit –”

Steve snorts as he unpeels his banana. “Yeah. You’re rolling in the dough.”

“I do well for myself!” Eddie snaps, mocking offense. “Plus, I don’t have to pay taxes on my income.”

“And that’s not even the most illegal part about it.” Steve cocks an eyebrow.

“C’mon, Harrington, live on the edge a little bit. I’m sure Mr. Reagan will live without my yearly input of fifty dollars and ninety-two cents.”

“Stick it to the man!” Steve shouts, jabbing his banana in the air and twisting it like a knife. It’s actually kind of hot. “Right?”

“You’re learning,” Eddie says, trying to hide the fact that he’s flustered over fruit weapons. Steve could wield anything and it would be attractive. Like a frying pan, or a brass candelabra. But using his bare hands (and teeth) in the Upside Down was arguably the hottest thing Eddie had ever seen. It was that moment that really sealed the deal for him. When his crush from junior year turned into something a bit more… real.

“So, I was thinking,” Steve starts, rustling through a bag that Eddie hadn’t even noticed he’d carried in. He pulls out a VHS tape – “Critters. It looks dumb but I think you’d like it.”

He inspects the front cover, littered with little monsters with sharp teeth and bold, red lettering for the title. “That’s kind of insulting.”

“You like dumb movies.” Steve shrugs. “Like Labyrinth, and Rocky Horror –”

“Do not slander Tim Curry!” This time, Eddie’s offense is a little bit more genuine. “He’s sacred and I will not stand for it in this house.”

“Whatever.” Steve rolls his eyes. “Anyway. I thought we could watch this really amazing looking movie, and order in Chinese or pizza or something?”

Eddie pretends to think about it for a minute. “Did you bring snacks?”

The bag rustles again as Steve does more digging. He holds out a couple packages of candy. “Twizzlers and M&Ms.”

“Popcorn?”

“There’s already some in the cupboard.”

“Hmm.” Eddie scratches his chin. Steve rolls his eyes, waiting patiently for Eddie’s obvious answer. “You got yourself a deal.”

“Cool,” Steve says, heading to Eddie’s (their?) bedroom. “Wow, dude. You can see your floor.”

Eddie blushes and shrugs it off as coolly as he can manage.  

Steve turns to him, pointing to the badly made bed. “You didn’t have to do all this for me.”

It’s not shocking to Eddie how obvious it was that he dejunked because of their earlier conversation. He kind of wishes there was a little bit more mystery in it, but he probably hasn’t tidied since 1984, so why else would he have done it today? “It needed to be cleaned anyway.”

‘Cleaned’ is a very loose term for what Eddie did, but at least it’s leaps and bounds better than it was when he woke up.

“It looks good.” Steve throws himself onto the bed that he’ll be sleeping on tonight (with Eddie, oh my God). He kind of rolls to the centre of it where it’s sunken. It’s an old mattress. “Smells good, too. Lavender?”

“Yeah.” Eddie chews on his lip, staring at how big Steve looks on the double mattress. All sprawled and consuming. He wonders how they’ll both fit on there, and it dawns on him just how close they’ll have to be.

Not that he minds, like, at all.

“That’s why,” Steve says in a way that makes it seem like he’s answering a question he’s asked in his head a million times. Internal and without explanation. It makes Eddie a bit nervous, like maybe he should be embarrassed about something if Steve’s been thinking about it.

“That’s why, what?”

“Why you always smell like lavender,” he explains, tucking his arms behind his head. “I always thought it was an oil or something, but I never saw one in the bathroom. But it’s just your bed.”

“I smell like lavender?”

“Yeah. When you don’t reek of pot and menthols.”

And the warm feeling that Eddie was experiencing is gone.

“Shut up,” he says, kicking at Steve’s foot that’s hanging from the end of the bed. “Are we watching the movie or not?”

That’s exactly what they do, popping popcorn and tossing it in a ridiculous amount of melted butter and salt. Eddie holds the bowl in his lap and each time Steve reaches over for a handful he can’t help but let his mind wander a little bit. Not that he’s a pervert or anything. It’s just been a really long time since another guy has been reaching into his lap for any reason. A really long time, as in a couple of years, and even then it was just the once.

They pause the movie halfway through when the food is delivered, which is fine because the movie is shit. But Steve’s right, it’s shit in the way that Eddie loves. The way where he’s laughing instead of jumping at the scenes that are meant to be scary.

Either way, he’s smiling by the time the credits roll and so is Steve.

“It was like Gremlins, but less scary.”

“Less scary?” Eddie asks. “You find Gremlins scary?”

“They’re pretty scary, dude.” Steve gets up from the couch and stretches, exposing a strip of skin that Eddie definitely doesn’t stare at. “Why do you think I call the kids gremlins? Terrifying.”

Eddie snorts at that, pointedly making eye contact instead of letting them drop lower (again). “Those brats are worse than any horror movie.”

“You’re telling me,” says Steve, picking up the empty dishes from the coffee table and carrying them the short distance to the sink. He washes them quickly, then dries them, and places them back into the cupboard where they belong. If it had been Eddie, they would have been left in the sink until the morning, or maybe until the next afternoon. If Steve stays much longer, Wayne is going to expect Eddie to start upping his game. “Bedtime?”

Eddie checks his watch and it’s only just past 9pm. But Steve looks at him so expectantly that he finds himself nodding. And truthfully, there are way worse things that laying next to Steve in his bed before he falls asleep.

They do their normal routine, brushing their teeth and their hair. Steve uses a fancy cleanser on his skin that he forced Eddie to never tell anyone about (“I have skin problems if I don’t use it, okay?”), and Eddie just uses a bar of glycerine soap. The cheapest kind from the general store. Maybe that’s why Eddie still gets pimples on his chin at the ripe age of twenty.

When they get to Eddie’s room, he can’t help but stand awkwardly and wonder what the hell he’s supposed to wear to bed. He’s usually a boxers only type of guy, but Steve has always worn sweats and a t-shirt when he’s sleeping on the couch. Eddie doesn’t even own sweatpants, but he might have a pair of PJ pants that he got from Uncle Wayne one Christmas shoved to the back of one of his drawers. They have a pattern of little frogs playing guitars and that’s just fucking embarrassing to wear in front of a guy like Steve Harrington.

He doesn’t have to wonder for long, because Steve starts stripping himself down to a single layer. Eddie averts his eyes as heat radiates into his chest and cheeks. Maybe now it would be extra weird if he just wore his boxers to bed. Since, like, Steve was already doing it.

“It’s nice to finally ditch those sweatpants,” Steve says, kicking his jeans ungracefully from one of his feet. “It gets unbearably hot at night.”

“Yeah. I mean, you could have – you didn’t have to –” Eddie struggles to find the right words. “No one would have blamed you for ditching them, man.”

“I know. It would just be a little awkward to have my junk almost out in front of your uncle.” Steve points to his crotch as if Eddie doesn’t know what he’s talking about. And when he does, Eddie’s eyes flick downwards.

Who can blame him? Steve just drew attention to it.

And yeah, his dick is clothed, but he’s only wearing these tiny tighty-whities that really leave, like, zero up to the imagination. Eddie can see the angle that Steve’s dick is resting at in his briefs. And he can tell that he’s – well – he’s circumcised. And even though Steve’s dick is soft, it’s um. Ample. Thick. And – and…

Jesus Christ.

Steve crawls into Eddie’s bed – the side closest to the door, with the fluffy pillow. “You good?”

Eddie’s brain is moving about as fast as a sloth in sand – meaning not very fast at all. So he says, “Act cool,” aloud, because that’s what he’s thinking. And then he smacks his palm to his forehead and says, “I mean, I’m cool. I’m all good,” like that might fix his blunder, even though it very much does not.

“Well, cool.” Steve says, smiling. “Are you gonna stand there all night, or are you coming to bed?” He pats the comforter next to him.

Eddie squeaks a noise that really doesn’t sound like him at all. He resents his vocal chords for betraying him at a time like this. He strips down to his boxers and is really thankful that they’re a lot looser than Steve’s briefs. Because he’s slightly chubbed, and Steve had seen his dick enough times that he’d know.

He crawls into the sheets, trying to keep a healthy distance between him and Steve. But Steve is fucking manspreading onto Eddie’s half of the mattress, so his thigh and shoulder ends up pressed against Steve’s skin anyway.

It’s not helping his little situation. His dick kicks up disobediently. Thank fuck Eddie is under the cover of a blanket.

“Geez, man. Move over,” he says, not because he doesn’t like it, but because he likes it a little too much.

“I can’t help it!” Steve wiggles a couple of inches away, but not enough to stop himself from touching Eddie. “Your bed is small, Munson.”

“Would you prefer a king-sized mattress for the king himself? I’m sorry you must reduce yourself to a double, my liege. How will you survive?”

“Shut up, man.” Steve smacks Eddie. Eddie smacks Steve right back, a little harder. “Ouch! It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t control where I end up once I’m sleeping.”

Eddie narrows his eyes. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’m a cuddler.”

“You’re telling me that now?” Eddie pretends to be horrified, even though the thought of being cuddled up next to Steve is admittedly wonderful. “That’s it. I’m retracting your invitation.”

“Too late. Are you big spoon or little spoon?” Steve asks, but before Eddie has the chance to respond (which would have been a load of bullshit, because how is he supposed to know when he’s never been cuddled?), he says, “Doesn’t matter. I’m always big spoon.”

“Does that mean I’m gonna wake up to you plastered on my back?”

Steve shrugs, making the sheets under Eddie’s ear crinkle. “Better get used to the idea now.”

They banter back and forth like that for about an hour before Steve’s eyes get heavy and he finally gets consumed by sleep. Eddie stays awake for another couple after that, reading a few chapters from Return of the King (for the nineteenth time).

He only wakes up once that night, and lo and behold, Steve is wrapped around him like a koala bear. Only Eddie isn’t facing away from him – they are chest to chest. Nose to nose. More importantly, they are dick to dick. One of Steve’s legs is hiked up on top of Eddie’s, which is lodged between Steve’s thighs. Steve is pinning him down with an arm securely circled around Eddie’s shoulders. Their goddamn noses are touching. Steve is breathing into Eddie’s mouth, and it takes everything inside Eddie to refrain from sticking his tongue out to taste Steve’s lips.

But Eddie would like to reiterate that he is not a pervert.

Instead, he readjusts the best that he can (because he definitely has a boner that is definitely pressed up underneath Steve’s cock). It doesn’t help much, so he tries his hardest to keep still. Because each brush of Steve against his dick, however light, sends a thrill into his core that makes him impossibly harder than he was a minute ago. And if Steve wakes up, if Steve feels Eddie pressed into him, nearly nestled between his glorious thighs…

So Eddie practices mindful breathing. He lets himself fall back asleep after twenty excruciating minutes, still with an erection that he can’t force away. Because really, it would be rude to move out of Steve’s grasp and wake him up from such a peaceful looking slumber.

And if waking up like that becomes another strange habit over the following days – weeks – Eddie isn’t going to mention it. Of course he’s not.

Because neither is Steve.

NEXT CHAPTER

MASTERLIST

SOCIALS

[justyourtypicalwriter]

I just saw the post SERVICE DOGS HCS PLEASEEE !!!

HERE WE GO GANG! These are the one's I have so far! Feel free to suggest recs for any characters or disabilities y'all wanna see! (feel free to rec it even if it's for a character on the list)

STAN:

Service Dog: Brown Newfoundland, Delta (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilitie(s): Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Occasional Psychosis 

The hair dye oh my god. He can rarely drag himself out of bed during depressive episodes but occasionally he’ll get a random burst of impulsivity and re-dye his hair. Most of the time he does the same shitty job at bleaching it blonde

“DARLING! GUESS WHO’S BACK FROM THE PSYCH WARD” vibes

Sharon and Randy officially divorced when he was fifteen. He got a little better now that there isn’t constant screaming or the threat of a drunk or high Randy doing something stupid

Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a total mess-

Patched his relationship with Shelly

Misdiagnosis club AND public breakdown club

God his entire aura just radiates LOSER energy but he’s somehow insanely popular

Not cousins with Craig & Red in this AU but their parents are insanely close so they hang out a lot

CRAIG:

Service Dog: Irish Setter, Saturn (M)

Medical Alert & Response Dog

Disabilitie(s): Epilepsy

Lowkey autistic but Saturn isn’t task trained for anything related to that

Goes non-verbal at times but it’s pretty spontaneous. Most people outside his group can’t tell if he’s actually non-verbal or just not talking to fuck with everyone

Peru drama was secretly worked out when they were twelve. Craig was hospitalized for a while when they were running tests to get a diagnosis, it was roughly a month long stay. He told Stan he’d call it even if Stan looked after Stripe until he was out. Tweek was away for the summer and he knew Stan wouldn’t let anything happen to her since he’s a massive animal lover

Gotta maintain the bitch personality 

TWEEK:

Service Dog: Doberman, Latte (M)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilitie(s): Chronic Anxiety,

“Ah fuck, the magic school bus is waiting outside to take me back to rehab-”

I kid you not, he was absolutely terrified of Latte when he first got him

Which is funny because Latte is the sweetest goddamn thing, not at all like Fable whose a fucking demon shit

CPS was called on his parents right before senior year

Placed with the Broflovski’s so he and Kyle got closer

Public breakdown club

BUTTERS:

Service Dog: Boxer, Haven (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Depression

Public breakdown club (IN DEVELOPMENT)

KYLE:

Service Dog: Black Giant Schnauzer, Noble (M)

Medical & Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Diabetes, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)[This one might be switched]

Tubie Kyle (I fucking LOVE this one)

For once I give Kyle an ED that doesn’t stem from body image issues

Humancentipad trauma bc I love being problematic about the episode

DESPISES his lows because it means he has to eat something

Also goes non-verbal but only during times of high stress

Noble is a program dog. Kyle got him when he was 14 and initially he was so against it. He wants to function independently but he really fucking can’t. As he grows older he learns to accept the help more

HATES mirrors. The Humancentipad incident left him with scars

Public breakdown club

KENNY:

Service Dog: Anatolian Shepherd Dog, Harbor (M)

Medical Response & Mobility Aid Dog

Disabilities: Muscular Dystrophy, Chronic Pain

Regularly hospitalized, fucking dies, and revives the next day

DUMPSTER DOG<3333

He trained Harbor mostly by himself (Wendy, Tolkien, and Kyle pitched in a bit and bought him books on training techniques)

MOM FRIEND! Bro I just love making Kenny one of the parental figures of the group. He’s just got a bag of shit he carries around for both himself and everyone else. Stan forgot to swap his bandages? Boom, Kenny’s got new ones. Kyle’s sugar is low? Boom, he’s got whatever little snack the boy is able to tolerate. Someone needs a distraction? Medical episode causes them to need a vomit bag? Boom, done. Mom friend Kenny

So fucking ADHD

JIMMY:

Service Dog: Grey Great Dane, Kitty (F)

Mobility Aid Dog (IN DEVELOPMENT)

TOLKIEN:

Service Dog: Papillon, Jax (M) (IN DEVELOPMENT)

WENDY:

Service Dog: Black German Shepherd, Nike (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response

Disabilities: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (IN DEVELOPMENT)

CLYDE:

Service Dog: Husky, Fable (F) (IN DEVELOPMENT)

BEBE:

Service Dog: Golden Retriever, Bucky (M)

Medical Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)

Misdiagnosis club

Went to multiple doctors from 13-15 who all told her it was all in her head

And she’s just sitting there like “bitch please, the only thing in my head is my girlfriend and how hot she is. Now tell me why I keep experiencing these symptoms-”

HEIDI:

Service Dog: Chocolate Labrador, Isa (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Autism Spectrum Disorder

Public breakdown club (IN DEVELOPMENT)

[jaegerisim]

You Promised Me Heaven (and put me through hell)

DESCENDANTS AU Y'ALL YESS! Who cheered? (Absolutely nobody lmao). If y'all are wondering I wrote this while listening to the Descendants OST (particularly Rotten To The Core) like God intended. As always, name taken from "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Bon Jovi. If this is a bit all over the place, I'm sorry. It's 1 AM and my beta reader is me, myself and I (not even Grammarly, bro 😭😭😭😭) Anyways enjoy! 💕🌈

TW: implied alcohol and drug use (they're 16 m'kay?), the language is pretty strong (nothing too bad tho) and there are mentions go throwing up.

Will's day began shitty, like always. His head throbbed and, distantly, he could hear his father, Lonnie Byers, scream about whatever it was that had angered him today. Will groaned, another day in The Isle of the Lost aka where every villain and their children - the Villain Kids or VKs for short - lived. The Isle of the Lost was an island (if it could even be called such) in the middle of the fucking ocean with no WIFI, no electricity and no way out. It also had an extremely clear view of Auradon, the place where all the perfect little princes and princesses lived their happily ever after; while all the VKs where left to rot in the lame ass excuse of a home.

Will's head felt like it was about to explode, he definitely drank too much last night. He considered going back to sleep but he knew that if he woke up now, his father would most likely scream at Will to make himself useful but he also knew that if he didn't wake up the his father would scream at him for being a lazy ass. So if his father was good to scream at him regardless of what he did, he'd rather wake up now and annoy his friends sleeping next to him. He kicked the sleeping person next to him, his best friend Max Mayfield. She gasped and her eyes flew open. Will cackled maliciously and received a playful punch to the arm.

"You asshole!" she shrieked "Your feet are so fucking cold!"

The person next to Will stirred and cursed.

"Can both of you just shit the fuck up? Some of us are trying to sleep, right El?" the person, Lucas Sinclair, cursed.

"Yeah! Don't you think it's a bit early to be screaming?" El Hopper chided, rubbing her bleary eyes.

"Tell my Dad that. He was the one who woke me up." quipped Will.

As if on queue, Lonnie began to call their names with fury.

"What did we do now?" moaned El.

"Well, we stole Argyle's stash, we wrecked Robin's restaurant, we also stole a bunch of shit from a bunch of places, we also-" listed Lucas off with irony.

"Yeah, ok, fine, we get it Lucas. Thank you." snapped Max.

"Wow, someone is in a mood today." laughed El pressing a kiss to Max's cheek.

"Ugh, get off me." Max grumbled just for Lucas to grab her hand.

Will looked away, they were a group of 4 and 3 of them were dating each other. So Will, as the poor single schmuck that he was, was stuck having to bare their terribly sappy flirting. Deep down, he was happy for them but he'd rather kiss Ursula's tentacle than admit it. Will cleared his throat and signaled for them to follow him to the living room/kitchen/second bedroom/bathroom.

Lonnie was a thin man, with a stubble and salt-and-pepper hair. The man was grinning like a madman next to Jonathan, Will's older brother, who was shaking his head, amused.

"Hey, Dad." said Will, strutting through the long singular table occupying most of the space. His black boots breaking several stolen trinkets under his weight.

His dad didn't even bother to even wave at him. Will kept a neutral expression, but it stung a little, being ignored by even his own father. Weren't parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally? This rule, apparently did not apply to his father.

"Everyone, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" yelled Lonnie and everyone turned to look at him "I have news. As everyone already knows, the crown prince of Auradon Michael Wheeler will be crowned king in 1 month."

Will grit his teeth, he detested that prince. He had detested him ever since their first and only meeting.

It all began when a group of VKs tried to break the barrier surrounding the Isle, unsuccessfully. This event ended in thousands of innocent VKs and villains being slaughtered by King Theodore's knights. One of these villains had been Will's own mother.

"Oohhhh, how delightful, truly." Cooed Max with mockery. Lucas snorted and Will snickered. Why should they care? As if that affected them in anyway.

"And so, he has done his first proclamation: to allow 4 villain kids to go to Auradon. These 4 villain kids are the son of Charles Sinclair, the daughter of Susan Mayfield, the daughter of Captain Jim Hopper and finally, my youngest son."

The following silence was deafening. Nobody dared to say anything. Finally Will spoke up.

"They want us to go to Auradon?" he asked.

"Son, listen to me, this my- our chance to fight back against our oppressors and the people who killed your mother. You and Jonathan can have your revenge, and show the world you are your father's sons. All you guys need to do is steal Fairy Godmother's wand and with it, break the barrier." Lonnie told Will.

Max and El were having a silent conversation while Lucas was having his card reads by his younger sister, Erica.

"But Dad-" Will tried to say.

"No buts, William. Show me you truly deserve the title of being the son of the cruelest villain in the whole Isle."

Will sighed "Fine, we'll go. We'll do it. Whatever."

"When the fuck are we leaving, anyways?" scoffed Max.

"Maxine, language!" chided Susan, while doing her nails.

"Mom, I told you to call me Max!" Snapped her daughter

Lonnie ignored their bickering.

"Well, Maxine" - Max huffed, annoyed - "to answer your question, you are leaving today. Now, even." Stated Lonnie with a grin.

Everyone gaped at the man.

"Now, regarding your bags. I've already taken care of that and the limo is already waiting for you outside." Lonnie stayed as he ushered Max and Lucas outside

Will seemed to snap out of his daze.

Limo? Now? Did his dad really pack their bags? Why the fuck would the damn prince choose them?

Will vaguely registered El giving her dad a hug and following Max out of the door..

Lonnie grabbed him by his leather jacket.

"What are you waiting for, son?" demanded his father. "This is our chance, don't you see? We could have the world at our very feet. I'd you don't blow it, of course."

"I won't, I swear." Will reassured him.

His father grunted and shoved him out the door.

Will was faced with absolute chaos.

Jonathan was in a heated discussion with a smartly dressed man, who Will guessed was the driver.

"I don't care if your Dad is a fucking king! In the Isle you have no domains or right to tell me to fuck off! This is my damn home!" screamed Jonathan, jabbing a finger in the man's torso.

The man growled at Jonathan and huffed indignantly.

"Fucking villain kids." He scoffed.

Will entered the limousine where Max boasted of how he stole the driver's wallet.

"It's says here, that this is Prince Steve Harrington! Son of, ooooohhhh, the Beast!" Max quirked an eyebrow "That's why he is so hairy!"

"Punch him in the face! Come on, Jonathan, I'm rooting for you!'' yelled El

Apparently, Jonathan had gotten into a fist-fight with Steve.

Half an hour later, Steve entered the limo looking pissed.

"Give me that!" Harrington said as he snatched his wallet from Lucas' hand. Sadly, his money was long gone.

-----

The moment they stepped out of the limo, several things happened:

1. Max puked on the floor.

2. Will trying not to step on the vomit, tried to jump over the disgusting puddle but tripped over and fell on top of someone

3. That someone turned out to be the Michael Wheeler.

Will blushed, he literally had the man pinned on the ground. Now that Will had the chance to stare without being weird or creepy, he noticed the man's attractiveness. Michael had a splatter of freckles across the bridge of his strong nose and high cheeks. His face was framed by elegantly styled, black curls. Michael's face was surprisingly red, was his face always that red?

Will decided to get up and got to stand next to his friends. Max was already standing up looking defensive.

"Wow, your friend sure gets carsick easily, huh? I take it you don't ride car ride very often" chuckled Michael

Lucas snorted and El fell into a fit of laughter.

"You hear that Max? We mustn't rides cars that often?" laughed El, wiping the tears of her eyes.

Will couldn't tell if Michael was joking or not.

"What did I say?'' Mike asked to the guy next to him.

"I dunno." shrugged the other.

"Well, you said that we don't ride cars often. Of course we don't. In fact we've never done that, before. It's a small Isle, in which we don't even have electricity. You think we'd have cars?" sneered Will.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I-". Mike tried to apologize. Will felt that the man was genuinely sorry about that. But in the Isle, you don't trust anybody, even if at first glance they look harmless.

Will sighed, it was going to be a long month.

[immunologies]

look at my land developer dawg i’m going to jail 😫

lmao hiiii everyone! i’m anwar (not hadid) + always writing for underused model fcs but anywhooo — thank god for reopening bc i was supposed to app during the first launch but i was on vacation so my activity would’ve flopped real bad BUT… I’M HERE NOW… a lil jet lagged still but fuck it we ball :’) i present to you: iida!

navigate: general info / about / pinterest

sparknotes!

tw / suicide

okawara yosuke, 33 (proud twink death survivor btw he left that long haired era behind in his mid 20s), born and raised in fukuoka prefecture so you know he’s a bearer of the masculinized stereotype that kyushu men have but surprisingly his ego isn’t as fragile as i would expect it to be — i wonder why?

lower middle class to middle class financial status for the entirety of his childhood / it’s one of those things where as a kid you’re like “well, this is it” because you’re not fully aware that your family doesn’t have money on top of being surrounded by other kids who, in return, also come from families without bands so it is what it is / it can’t be that bad when your necessities have always been met

tbh there’s not much to write home about in terms of his childhood as in it was fortunately(?) uneventful for the most part despite starting off rocky: his mom was barely twenty when she birthed him, two freshly married young adults rushed into the hard-bitten chaos of childrearing, do they resent bro in absence of trying to enjoy the beginnings of their married life? probably, but it doesn’t matter by the time his younger brother is born, soo la voo or whatever the french be saying (tiktok reference btw if ur uncool)

yosuke is your average kyushu boy growing up: he spends his time outside rather than inside with his head in the books (it’s the same shit his teachers would always say about his lack of potential, ie: he’s lazy), has boyish fights with his younger and complete opposite of a younger brother, tries his best not to piss off his stay-at-home mom and stay away from his chronically emotionally constipated aviation mechanic drunk for a dad, you get the idea

…UNTIL the voices started to become apparent more than ever and he tells his mother who dismisses it but is reminded of her grandfather who unalived himself from alleged schizophrenia but nobody in her family knows if he ever got tested for it (y’know, if it was a genetic hereditary thing) or if it was just the aftermath of unresolved trauma/ptsd because grandpa fought in the war (you know which war) NOBODY KNOWS A GODDAMN THING. except yosuke as a child hated going to see his relatives in the far village/countryside on his mom’s hick side

lmao but when yosuke told his mom “yeah girly pop dad’s gonna have a shitty liver if he doesn’t stop drinking so much in the next couple years or so” is when she drops his ass off at a mental health facility so she definitely prioritizes her man over a kid that she wasted her 20s raising! (she’s definitely an unevolved libra no shade to yall sorry) but anywho! he’s diagnosed at 17, life is looking brighter(?), but his “schizophrenia” isn’t something talked about much at home because let’s be serious. it’s fucking abe shinzo’s japan at the time, we do not talk about shit like this

yosuke goes on to carry two jobs after high school because his parents didn’t save a college tuition fund for his lazy, non-academically inclined ass so it’s up to him to be the architect of his future / he’s psyched about entering the aviation department of kyoto university after working his ass off by trying to build a humble living but somebody’s bored and filthy rich daughter from a zainichi korean family comes into his life and what does he do? say goodbye to the ol’ pilot dream and traps this woman so he won’t ever have to worry about money like his family did

mind you he actually had love for the old girl! but he’s a gemini and gemini men get bored when you’re not their outstanding type or half as witty or clever as he may be. he knows that he’s settling for what poor lee jiyoung can do for him so after dating in college, yosuke goes on to marry the woman but never goes on to tell her about his “schizophrenia” because he’s scared that it’ll ruin his marriage (spoiler alert: it did)

so uh *scratches head and turns the page* they end up divorcing because his condition worsened as a result of his body becoming “immune” to the medications because he never had schizophrenia in the first place (ie: iida canon) — and he tried saving the relationship for the sake of his position at tk group, he really did, but at the end of the day he’s just some penniless, opportunistic man who failed to completely use up his wife’s beneficiaries. but again, he’s a gemini man who’s good at playing the part of using his “mental health” as a crutch of their failed marriage instead of being exposed for taking advantage of his ex-wife financially

(trust me he’d rather be that Type of Shitty instead of portrayed as the Exploitative Type of Shitty because it gets some pity points on his end. believe the scheme!)

so now? okawara yosuke takes up the tk group’s little passion project proposal with goero because it’s a chance at redemption. he needs to prove one way or another that he’s worthy of his job, that he’s the right man for it, his undying loyalty to the corp (questionable :3), and he’s taken the more political and diplomatic approach of gravitating/winning the trust or appeal to goero’s inhabitants instead of the founding families ‘cause his coworker’s already doing that anyways — he understands his shortcomings as a foreigner (more so as a japanese guy telling yall what to do with the land so goero can prosper financially and commodity-speaking for trade.. and commerce..) so if he can strengthen his morale to the people even if it doesn’t mean the quota won’t be met — yosuke would prefer that for the sake of ethics. he will promise the residents of goero that much: business or not.

that is all. i think. :-) i’ll be yapping for specifics on discord if needed be

personality!

likes to think of himself as an ambivert over being written off as an extrovert which is kinda true? despite being a professional yapper with those he’s suuuuper comfortable with, he finds that people who don’t match or vibe with him tire him out very quickly / genuinely a very friendly person and is emotionally inhibited probably as a result of his career where logic/numbers/analytics are concerned so yosuke prefers to focus on reason over the “possibilities” … even tho he would like to be that optimistic / isn’t one to have an extreme temper, but can be prone to outbursts if incompetence is in question / really. really. hates the notion of being black-or-white on many matters as life usually puts him in the grey area so. u know. atm doesn’t have any ulterior motives because he doesn’t have it in him anymore to be evil or whatever. he ran out of plans. just trying do the right thing from here on out, so, let him help you! bro’s probably a lawful neutral man i know i’m sorry for being boring :/ c’est la vie

connections!

i prefer brainstorming over anything and i’m down for just about everything so hit me

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Criminal Justice (2007)- Episodes 1-5. Watching Con O'Neill's old stuff cause it's fun. Day #? RALPH STONE!

Warnings: Murder. Blood. Drug Use. Needle Use/Injection is shown on the scene. Drunk driving. Accused/discussed sexual assault. Abusive parents, grief, and general bullshit in the justice system.

Should you watch this if you haven't: YES! Five episodes, each being an hour, but if you don't have any issues with the warning, it should be a fun time. I was on the edge of my seat for most of this show and Con is a very important character! He is on screen more than most of his other tv parts and is having a great time. It's a story about one defendant and the shit that goes down as he's tried for the crime.

Special thanks to:

@dianetastesmetal who I chatted with around midway through about the show! (For me it was ~2 in the morning, so it was a whole lot of fun!)

The Usual Suspects! I would love to hear your thoughts about this show down alone! I want to thank all of you for following me and giving me love. Y'all are enabling my current fixation, and I thank you all! If you haven't seen it, just ignore me <3

@sphealybojeely @thedowneyheart @kimpreg @gydima @ivegotnonameidea @treesofgreen @tummy-stab-wounds @mossiestpiglet @sidewalk-scrawls @crybabyclover @

Criminal Justice- EP 1 (Guest starring my brother)

Why does that kid look like Benedict Cumberbatch?

He just needs a haircut. That hair looks awful.

This takes place in 2008 right? 

Why didn't the dad knock?

He's going to go have sex, huh, he's not going to his friend's house. 

Is he going to abuse his position here? Pretend he's a cab driver?

I feel like cab drivers are trained to drop a rando with no destination to a hospital or a police station. 

Also, a situation that's only playful because it's a young woman. If this were a homeless person? This shit isn't flying. 

DON'T SHARE YOUR FUCKING DRINKS WITH A STRANGER??!?!?!

I got to inform my brother that in England they call soft-served ice cream 'whippies' after the popular brand 'Mr. Whippy', to which he just said 'it's a clown land'

DRUGS! Here we go!

This is suspicious as fuck. Don't take her booze! She's a chick you just met! 

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

NOOOO! NO. NO. NO. KNIFE GAME IS TAPPING, NOT FUCKING STABBING! WTF! 

Society would be a lot further on if we just stopped caring about peer pressure.

WHAT? HE STABBED HER!?!?!?!?!? WHY ARE THEY FUCKING? 

We have seen so much of this man's ass, why? 

We are 12 minutes in?

Oh. She's dead. She's so dead. 

OH SHIT. Yep thats a stabbing

Brother guesses it was the parent, I say ex lover.

God, he's just bad at this

BRO WENT BACK AND NOW HAS A WITNESS?????

This is an actual ACE ATTORNEY CASE WTF

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. HE THEN CRASHES THE CAR? ACE ATTORNEY LEVELS OF DUMB!

Bro, is this your first break in?

Ohhh he's fucked. 

Ohhhhh, this is the cops best day of his life

Oh, good luck defense attorney Con. You better get Phoenix Wright levels of bullshit. 

Oh my god, don't fucking fight the cops. 

Bro, take a nap. It's been a long night. 

OH MY GOD IT'S HIM. 

Hello Con! Lovely to see you. Love the rat man fit. I know it's on purpose, but damn. He looks wet.

This is where my brother bullies the shit out of Con. 

OH I LOVE HIM-He's actually giving good legal advice! The cops are going to do whatever they can to get a false conviction.

'No comment man'- Hard nose solicitor I FUCKING LOVE IT

RALPH STONE! TROLLIN'. I love it. GOD I LOVE IT.

It's so much easier to be quiet when you're nervous. 

Lessons to be learned from this tv show: Don't random desperate women, don't fall to peer pressure, don't say shit to the police. 

They wouldn't have left her body there. They would have taken photos then taken the body out of the house asap. It's weird they've waited so long to investigate. 

Solicitation of evidence. It's illegal to receive testimony from a private source without giving the evidence to opposing council. 

Nice that she packed him a sandwich. 

Why is the shitty cops boss so much taller? That's funny. 

Whelp. RIP Ralph, you did all you could. Having the guy almost assault a police officer isn't fun.

OHHHHH!!!!!! RALPH I LOVE IT- GOOD GOD IS HE FUN

Oh this whole detective thing feels illegal. Without his attorney to represent him.

Yeah. Sure. Don't get buddy-buddy with the guy who wants to put you away for years.  

IS THIS DETECTIVE A VILLAIN? Oh, he likes you? FUN.

They're in a public spot, there is no expectation for privacy and this can be recorded, HAHAHAHAHHAHA. GOOD, HE DIDN'T SAY SHIT. 

It's 2007, a bit of weird transphobia was to expected. 

UHHHHH….. I SWEAR TO GOD. DON'T SWAP ATTORNIES!

CLASSIST BRITISH PEOPLE AHHHHH-

OH I'D BE PISSED!!!!!! RALPH IS SO GOOD!!!!!

Oh good, Ralph corrected himself about his client's name and pronouns, nice. 

Ralph at the end of ep 1-'I looked into his eyes, and we vibed. He can't be innocent'

AWWW RALPH STILL WANTS TO HELP HIM EVEN AFTER HE GOT SCREWED OVER BY HIS POSH LAWYERS! God, I love him. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

EPISODE 2: This is where my brother dipped out, but I summarized as much as I could for him. 

I'm going to be honest I skipped through this ep a ton. I generally got the gyst. I'm here for my guy, you know. 

I watched a bit, but this just establishes our protagonist's life in jail. 

I skipped Ralph's scene/ the trial. Seriously the preview in ep 1 gives you the gist. Read a summary. Etc. His roomie is great.  

AHHH RALPHS SMILE. "I don't care what you'd do as a lawyer, just as a human being" AHHH. 

GOD HIS CELLMATE IS SO GOOD.

HAHHHAHHAHAHAHHAH! WTF?!?!?!??! Oh, poor ralph. You guy just blowing up in court.

At this point, if I was Ralph Stone, I wouldn't really believe him, but that's what that whole grin was for. He just knew our guy was innocent!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Episode 3

Oh good. Protag was able to deep throat the drugs. 

Ralph! AHHH!! God, he has great outfits in this show. 

WHY DOES RALPH HAVE A FOOT THING? I noticed it earlier, but why are we drawing attention to it. 

Oh good, Ralph doesn't want to senselessly tarnish a dead girl's name. Nice. 

THAT FACE! Uh, the reluctant face! Chewing on the lip! 

Ralph! AHHH!! God, he has great outfits in this show. 

WHY DOES RALPH HAVE A FOOT THING? I noticed it earlier, but why are we drawing attention to it. 

Oh good, Ralph doesn't want to senselessly tarnish a dead girl's name. Nice. 

THAT FACE! Uh, the reluctant face! Chewing on the lip! Love it.

Ohhh, god. Ralph's a good actor. That's cute. 

OHH THE DETECTIVE ALSO BEING THERE! SHIT. RALPH RUN!

GOD HIM BEING VAGUE AS SHIT TO A WITNESS! I love it. 

'With alpha brain?' What the fuck?

AHHH! I LOVE RALPH. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. I got to see his chest :)

Oh, Ralph doesn't like this at all. But shit. Not much he can do. 

Oh no. It's really not ethical. And this yonger lady is going to mess it up. 

AHAHHAHAAAHAHAAA. THE WIGS! 

Is this inadvertently informing the audience of how fucked the courts can be. Which is both good and bad. People deserve to know exactly what our lawyers know.   

RALPH BEING THE FUCKING SAD DOG MIDDLEMAN THAT NEEDS TO RUN BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS SO FUNNY. 

Ralph with glasses gives me life. 

OH SHIT THE FRIEND SHOWED UP?

Okay, this is fun. But maybe let's not make jokes in a murder trial?

I love the one juror struggling to stay awake. Showing that even with all these verbal chess, they still need to convince the jury. 

Hey, babe. If you really fucking hate prison, maybe don't give a shit about how your mom reacts here!

Good on Ralph. Trying to speak up for her. 

(Seeing Ralphs…ex? For the first time) Oh I love them. WHAT ARE THEY ON?

OH SHE MOVED ON, GOD HIS ACTING. A SECOND TO SEE THAT FULL FUCKING FACE JOURNEY! 

Oh good. We can really hate the cops now. I mean, I already did. BUT. 

OHHH DO THEY HAVE FOOTAGE. 

OH, HE COMPLIMENTS RALPH WHEN IT LOOKS GOOD IN FRONT OF THE JURY. 

God I hate her(lead defense lady), but this scene is fun. 

RALPH IS HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME. He's watching the divorced parents fight and he loves it. He should be allowed to smile.

Ha, she's sowing seeds of guilt but that's really not how the law works. 

Ralph-'I told you not to talk two episodes ago, and you do it fucking now?!?!??!?!'

Is Ralph being kinda shitty? Yes. Is there any other option right now? Nope. 

Them showing how mentally I'll people in prison are severely punished without being able to seek help is cool. 

Back to court- OHHHH! SHIT. Yeah, digging at how the medical examiner is only going on prosecution for the state is suspicious as fuck. 

FUCK. ASSHOLE DON'T SAY SHIT! DONT CONTRADICT THE DEFENSE!!!!!

SHIT

Ralph, mentally deciding if now is a good place to just call it a day when his client is just begging to go to jail.

OH ANOTHER FUCKING CON CHARACTER WHO FELL IN LOVE THE WRONG WAY!!?!?!?!??!?!!? Well, that fills out my bingo card. This makes maybe 20 characters. I swear to god, if he ends up sad and alone I will make a Con O'Neill drinking game. 

"Are you calling me a hypocrite?" *Slight head tilt* -ME rolling on the floor laughing

Good on Ralph for staying with him though. 

AWWW. Ralph's an asshole but this is one of the few cases that's gotten to him! I love it. :)

Aww, they are sweet as a couple, but he needs to reorient himself. Find his own center and work on not 'always looking for doubt' before moving on. 

OH GOD! Don't fucking smile Con. It's mean. To me. Personally. 

AHHH! HIS TICKS WHEN HE'S LYING! Okay, that's funny as shit. I love him.

It's good that the main defense younger lady and the defendant trust each other. AND CON'S GRIN!

Say what you will, this man loves his job

OH SO YOU'LL LET THE SENIOR DEFENSE CHAT AND BE EXTRA BUT NOT THE JUNIOR! RUDE!

OHHHH SHIT THEY GAVE HIM BACK (the inhaler) EVIDENCE

AHHHHHHH!H!H!H!H!HH!H!HH HE TOOK EVIDENCE BITCH! It proves that he stayed in her bed

RALPH SMILING AHHHH!H!H!H!H!H!HH!

Oh they're getting him addicted to drugs to keep him loyal. Whelp. That's going to ruin him.

EPISODE 4:

Why is Ralph going into his clients home? 

Ralph(I'm paraphrasing)- Look, I'm a hard ass. I'm a dick who usually has guilty clients and does what he can to abuse loopholes and police mistakes to get them free. If I have a gut feeling, that really fucking matters. So I'm going to do what I can. 

Yeah, the neighbor did it

OHHHH! SHE PULLED RANK ON RALPH AHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Stone is pissed, and doesn't want to freak out in court. OR HE'S GOING TO EXAMINE A WITNESS?

What act is he playing here? I love it. He's being a clever cheeky bastard. Knowing how people want to treat court like they're the important heros that can save the day! AHAHHAH! I love it. 

"Are you the kind of person-"- SHUT THE FUCK UP-He's just trying to establish his character before crushing it.

OHHH THEY ARE ABUSING THE SHIT OUT OF HIS COYNESS AND NERVOUSNESS WHEN TALKING ABOUT SEX. 

AND HE'S HIDING EVIDENCE

Ralph, I love you. Babe. This is the kind of trust in the justice system I need. 

Another court scene goes by without note. But Ralph shows up? Oh boy, I'm typing. 

OOOOHHHH RALPH GETS TO BE A DETECTIVE!

SCENE SKIP

WHY ARE THE CLIENT AND YONGER LADY DEFENSE ATTORNEY SMOOCHIN? EXCUSE ME? ISN'T THAT AGE GAP WEIRD??!?!?!??!?

Oh good. Ralph. 

OH MY GOD HIM FUCKING SITTING ON THE TABLE? Me Moment. Queer? Coded. I'm assigning it to him. I'm giving him an honorary badge even though this is probably one of his straightest roles. 

Ralph- "I like getting my clients off." YEAH so does she! *Ba Dumb Tisk*. See, Ralph is smart. Get entangled with others in the arm of the law, not your fucking client. 

Scene passes without note. But a few prison scenes go by. 

GLASSES!!!!!! Look at them! THE EXAMINER GENUINELY HELPED. I'd also be smiling at him like that. 

Aww, Ralph's trying to ask without asking to hang out with a friend. 

Skipped a bit. Back in court. 

AWW Ralph and the yonger female defense attorney leaning together to chat. 

BRO HE IS SO WHIPPED FOR THE EXAMINER! I LOVE THIS!!!!!

THAT FUCKING SMILE. GOOD FOR HIM! GOOD FOR HELLEN! I love that they're immediately like, yeah, this might be a conflict of witness BUT. She still has a point.

I WOULD BE SWAYED BY HIS CHARM! I HAVE BEEN SWAYED BY HIS CHARM.

DAMN. Good on the friend/witness. 

Oh wow, the cellmate is just as shitty and corrupt as everyone else? I'm shocked. 

I love Ralph trying his best here. 

"You're 46 years old, what do you know about justice?" :0. WOW.

OH SHIT THIS MIGHT FUCK THIS ALL UP. CALLING IN THE DAD IF HE HAS AN ALIBI

OHHHH FUCK. RALPH IS A SECOND FROM STEPPING IN. 

OHHHH FUCK. GOOD ON HER. CALL THE DAD OUT FOR BEING ABUSIVE. 

FUCK if they pull her in the case is fucked. 

YEP RALPH SEES IT! SHIT!!!!!! 

EP 5: 

JURY CONSIDERING VERDICT! 

HI RALPH! LOVE YOU BABE!

Hour and a half deliberation is good! 

Yeah, I should have seen that coming. 

WHELP. SHIT. 

He's going to kill himself within a year. Calling it now. 

That moment when you work the same job as our prisoner protagonist 😐. Hey, don't dis a dishwashing job, protag. It's nice and easy.

HI CON! 

"'Self-deprecating jokes get you out of hard questions'- avoids the question by shoving toast in his mouth"-me. God, I was messaging @dianetastesmetal during this bit. Who pointed out how loving these characters is a form of self-love, and I will partially embrace it. Maybe I just want to see a man with a nice chest and a nice smile huh! ;)

Oh good, the protagonist is doing more drugs. Love that

GLASSES! I AM BACK ON MY WHORE SHIT. 

The hugging of the book! THE GRINNING! AHH!

This is why Ralph is emotionally distant, 'cause he's lost good cases before. HAHAHAHHA HE CAN'T LET IT GO. 

AHHHHH!H!H!H!HH!!H  THE TUFTED-UP HAIR ENTERING THE PRISON!

OH SHIT! RALPH INVESTIGATING THEIR RELATIONSHIP! He's asking the protagonist to sell out his legal advisor! 

No, RALPH IS SO RIGHT! She abused her station and got too close. 

Oh good. Another arm of the law is weird around police reports and evidence. Great.  

AHHH! Her sewing that little tidbit in the cop's head! She's onto him! 

Yeah, good on our protag to stand up for himself. 

Cellmate is going to get killed cause he knew too much, huh. 

Hey, good on the cop for looking into it a bit more. Still a jackass. But you know. 

Skipped a few scenes without note.

OHHH SHIT HE FILED THE SUIT!!!!!!! GOOD ON RALPH! We love a man who cares about giving justice to his client. 

'Frances- out for blood after Ralph is about to ruin her career'

 'Ralph-Half passed out on a couch with a rag over his eyes, already done with this conversation. Ready to throw every insult she directed to him back into his face.'

Ralph knew to get romantically entangled with a medical examiner and not a fucking witness.

GET IT RALPH! God, good for him. SHE ABUSED HER POSITION! She took everything they worked for and threw it all away. She didn't let their client find justice. 

Yeah, cellmate's about to die, huh. 

OHHHH SHIT! GET IT!!!!!! Good on him! Yeah, he's going to get murdered, but good on him. MURDER THAT BASTARD! 

OHHH SHIT. THE ASSHOLE COP HELPED THE MOB! 

GOOD ON THE CHIEF FOR CALLING HIM OUT! DAMN! 

Oh, wow. Ben's life is ruined. He's hooked on drugs, and he thinks he has no prospects in life. 

Now he can't fall asleep without listening to the radio.

Hi Ralph. Why are we talking about your feet? 

Frances is fucked essentially. 

Yeah, going in for a mistrial was the right option. 

Yeah, no. Nothing would have changed if Ben told Ralph the truth the moment they met. Good on Ralph! Giving our protag a bit of closure on this whole thing. Telling that none of this was really his fault.  

Yep. He had his last few free years of youth ripped from him. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Final thoughts:

I think the fact that this was a mob member being the real murder and that it was covered up was the real thing here. The entire point and moral the audience was meant to learn. It didn't matter if Ben had the best case, the entire Crown was against him. Ralph and his team could have been the best defense lawyers in the world and it still would have gotten buried. I'm happy the final evidence came out, obviously, but Ben was fucked over in so many ways. Now what life does he have? He lost his friends, his trust in his family, and is now destined to fall back into the system he knows. It's a shame. 

Con: 11+/10. Long hair AND glasses AND he's Exhausted! Perfect role. I want him. I want to be him. He's divorced, and sad, and I love it.

Ralph saved this series for me personally. He was so much fun. I will be updating the Con list here soon to include bit TV roles. Ralph is going to be high on my ranking. We are given a Con character who has REAL impact on the story, introduces the audience to the rules of this world, AND GETS A HAPPY ENDING! It's brilliant. Obviously, there are moral issues to him being such a good defense attorney to allow criminals to get away, but this whole story was about giving Ralph a different perspective. He's a slime-ball but he's not totally against change. Willing to look at other perspectives. He started to genuinely care about his client, and didn't treat it as some weird game of chess. Him genuinely helping the younger defense attorney was nice, especially because he rarely blew up at her for her choices. He did his best to help where he could and didn't take things personally when shit blew up. 

Con's acting here is so fun and fluid! I hate being a person that ties OFMD into everything, but this is kind of what I want Izzy to become. Con's allowed to be fun! He's allowed to be mad, suspicious, have doubt etc. There are a few scenes that got me chuckling just by his face! He feels really confident and comfortable in this role. He talks with his hands! He's a dick, a total slime-ball, but he really cares about getting things done right! I love it. 

Everyone else: 8/10. Nothing really stood out besides our protagonist, and after a quick google, he won an award for this role. Which is deserved. He does great. I liked the characters the show wanted me to like, and vice versa. 

Story 7/10: Intriguing. I had fun, but this show sits more in the turn off your brain and gets swept along by the bullshit, vs trying to solve it yourself. 

Overall. 9/10: I highly recommend it if the tags don't worry you. Con is in this enough to justify a Con watch. I have a thing for Professor esk Con. I will not be ashamed about that. His whole speech about how he was perceived was nice. Now, this is about five hours of commitment, but If you need something longer I'd recommend it.

[misssclumsy]

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

03: Do you regret anything?

04: Are you insecure?

05: What is your relationship status?

06: How do you want to die?

07: What did you last eat?

08: Played any sports?

09: Do you bite your nails?

10: When was your last physical fight?

11: Do you like someone?

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

14: Do you miss someone?

15: Have any pets?

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

18: Are you scared of spiders?

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

26: What are you craving right now?

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

30: What’s irritating you right now?

31: Does somebody love you?

32: What is your favourite color?

33: Do you have trust issues?

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

51: Favourite food?

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

54: Is cheating ever okay?

55: Are you mean?

56: How many people have you fist fought?

57: Do you believe in true love?

58: Favourite weather?

59: Do you like the snow?

60: Do you wanna get married?

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

62: What makes you happy?

63: Would you change your name?

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

1. Yes mostly with my father (he is my real life bestie)

2. My ex

3. Yes, I told my secret to my so called bEsT FrIEnD and she revealed it

4. No I'm not

5. Currently single

6. I'm not about to imagine my death again

7. Aalu ka Paratha

8. yeah (outdoor) badminton (indoor) Ludo

9. no ! thank God

10. Yesterday with my cousin bro

11. Currently my Tumblr moots

12. I don't remember

13. Yes my old friend

14. Yessssssssssss !

15. No, i don't have but i want

16. Exhaust because of the pending syllabus

17. I don't understand what the question is ?

18. Yess little little

19. Yeeeeeeesssssssssss Italy

20. My father

21. Have to study because my exams are near

22. Yes 2 or 3

23. Yes ! two, ears and nose

24. Skip question

25. Yessss !!!

26. Yes classicallll novelssss and someone

27. yes ! i have rejected two guys'proposals

28. My goodness ! never

29. I don't know, i-i- i don't remember (actually i don't understand the question )

30. My cough

31. Most traumatic question ever i don't know bro how do I know

32. Black

33. Yessss so much, i don't even trust In my own shadow

34. About someone

35. ALLAH ta'ala

36. I fall easily ! but i don't have to give a second chance to anyone (but who knows if i give someone)

37. NOOOOO !!!!!! ever ever ever this isn't easy. If you pretend you don't care but you do this shitty feeling feels like hell

38. Shittiest year of my life

39.* Ahem ahem* when i was born my mother gave me the first kiss

40. No

51. Biryani

52. yes i do

53. Check my phone

54. No don't date then if you can't be loyal i mean breakups are even okay but cheating is not acceptable

55. Yes kinda

56. Maximum boys in my class

57. Yes i do

58. I just like the thunder storms

59. Yes i do but i never seen snow fall in my life

60. Of course i want

61. No i don't like that, I think that's cringe. But sometimes i also use it in a sarcastic tone.

62. Journaling

63. Naah

64. No ! that's my father

65. I would propose to him

66. Noooooo but i want fr 😩😩😩✨✨✨

67. A classmate

68. No one I don't have a single person for deep Convo

69. Yes i do and I'm waiting for mine

70. No i can't die for someone, i want to live for someone

[automatismoateo]

Islam is really stupid and fucked up via /r/atheism

Islam is really stupid and fucked up I was born into this shitty religion, and was put into schools specifically for it, and I was a around defender of it aswell, to the point I would ridicule other religions and calling them stupid, Islam is the best, blah blah blah. Like everytime I think back on it, I feel like cutting my head. I used to believe in man slaughter, and pedophilia bro wtf😭 I pretty much stopped believing in it since like 5ft grade or something. It's really stupid and fucked up. Just read up the lore of it in Quran, some of it doesn't even make sense whatsoever and just a bunch of mush up fiction. The rules are dumb aswell, girls and boys can't do something as simple as a high-five, you also can't be in a single room together alone cause that is totally disgusting, girls have to wear hijab cause if not you would go to hell and drag your parents down with you(as if I care what happend to them at this point). There is also Ramadhani, Wich supposed to be a "Holliday" but no, it's the month were you have to wake up as early before 5amnto eat so you could starve for the entire day. I always saw how people mocking Christian bible, saying how oh it doesn't really hold the same meaning/value cause it have been tempered over the years, Like Quran is not the same aswell. And apparently before we was born, our "soul" was to be shown how our life is gonna be like, and god/Allah will ask us if we want to live this life for 100 times. I could just imagine myself saying no for 99 times until I got fed up with god's bullshit and said yes and then he immidiently threw me down. Yeah no that ain't real. To be honest with you all, if I were to chose to be in a religion, I would just pick christians, at least their more decent that this shitty ass religion. Islam people especially the most religious ones are so delusional aswell. "Islam is the only correct religion" "you can only go to heaven if you believe in Allah" "other religions teaching is wrong" (even tough they all basically teach the same thing) "Islam will one-day rule the world cause all other religion is gonna be filled with gay people and can't reproduce" (this is actually something one of my uztad said). Rules in Islam can be broken as long there is a rule that overlaps it or there was a direct order from god that requires you to break the rule. Like no shit, there is a story about a dad being ordered to behead his kid, and the way he got the message was he woke up from a dream that told him to do so and the dream said it was a message from Allah. Like bro be so fr right now. A demon apparently tried to stop the man saying stuff like "dude that's your kid you can't kill your kid" "you have been expecting this kid for so long and now you are just gonna kill him just like that?" But that is wrong yk cause demon is bad and Allah's order is absolute. The kid got turned into a goat, cause got was like "oh yes this was just a test if you are really loyal to me" you could just tell the guy to not kill the kid at the last second instead of turning it into a goat but okay👍🏻. There is a bunch of versions of this story raging from the kid actually becoming a goat or the kid just got swap with the goat so the kid is still human or whatever, but the point still stands, a father is willing to kill his own kid just cause some guy told him so. Allah also apperantly have personally send down a lighting to strike down a whole tribe full of gay people even tough they are Muslim and believe in him (just a fun fact). You can't date aswell, you have to immidiently get married. (Sorry but I'm not gonna about to marry my guy immidiently without being absolutely sure it is a good idea to marry him, heck I'm probably not a good idea to marry too aswell💀) There's a bunch of more shits I want to rant about but eh you guys get the idea already. I swear once I hit college age I'm gonna go to a college outside of my country and never came back Submitted March 11, 2024 at 07:15AM by poisonolivetree (From Reddit https://ift.tt/XcuZYes)

[rabidcriterion]

okay so i finally got to quit my job today and like. i went out last night to a friend's birthday dinner and tonight i went out to another friend's birthday dinner in the same group and my mum cracked the shits at me when i mentioned that it was for the same group and basically cried and guilted me into comforting her because i. didn't stay home to put up the tree. apparently the tradition is to put it up only on fridays and saturdays which. of course i have never ever heard before

and so of course i had to sit and listen to her fucking crying about it and listen to dad tell me that she's had such a tough year like. bro what the fuck do you think i quit my job for? this year was fucking hellish

i just wanted to kinda do something nice for myself to celebrate that this is over. i've been feeling sad on and off today all day, nearly crying at work and shit.

it feels like something's been taken from me with work too. like i really liked the actual work for the most part, it was just shitty behaviour from students and coworkers and parents and management that did it really. and so i feel like i've somehow lost a massive opportunity to have an okay job

and i didn't read the stupid listing for my new one properly and i forgot that it's only for six months and. oh my god it's good to be out of that job, it really is but i'm just. i want to know for certain that it'll be okay and that i'll be away from any situations like the one i just left. and i had to leave my coworker bestie behind at my job and she's so nice and lovely and they were mean to her too and i just feel horrible about it!!!!

i'm crying typing this i'm just so upset by everything right now. i can't even cry loudly because my parents will hear and want me to talk about it, they never leave me alone when i'm crying anymore they always force themselves into my room and make me talk about it. i've never had a history of self harm or anything they're just really fucking annoying because they think it's the only way

i hate having to parent my own mother i hate being forced into it i hate living in this house and i hated my job. at least that part's over now but now i have to spend the holidays in this stupid house with these stupid fucking people who never fucking GO anywhere so they're always around

[iwantlarry]

Ugh anons on Tumblr scare me now lmao 😂 like we get it lmao 😂😂😂😂 but now that everyone's miserable all of sudden lmao 😂😂😂 let's not pretend to be stupid lmao 😂😂😂😵😂 it's funny getting exposed lmao 😂😂😂😵 into being oh so happy lmao 😂😂😵😂 what makes me laugh the most is that it's funny to laugh lmao 😂😂 in a very funny way lmao 😂😂😂 funny to me then hysterical now lmao 😂😂 I'm like huh lmao 😂😂😵 i wondered if internalized traumas lead to horrible decisions lmao 😂🤌😂 it's like the Bible lmao 😂🤌 or something lmao 😂🤌😂 but not in o gods not real lmao 😂🤌😂 it's like in a oh lmao 😂🤌 life's real and it don't stop lmao 😂😂 for no one lmao 😂🤌😂 ugh and now we're gon a get the brunt end of bad decisions lmao 😂🤌 its like everyones the age they always stayed in lmao 😂🤌 but man to be overexposed os the worst lmao 😂🤌😂 oh big whoop lmao 😂🤌😂 only the truth will prevail lmao 😂🤌😂 i have to laugh lmao 😂🤌🤘 nope not even an over exaggerated way lmao 😂 just to funny to make up lmao 😂😆😂 ugh what a time to be alive lmao 😂😹😂 funny nah mad annoying lmao 😂😂 now everyone better sat happy birthday Liam lmao 😂 he's gone be 30 nah 29 lmao 😂🤌😂 bro why paint y'all self's to be older lmao 😂🤌😂 like it's funny lmao 😂😂 now im tired lmao 😂🤌😂 it's 2 am lmao 😂🤌😂 and ots the best birthday ive had in years lmao 😂🤌😂 and I didn't get drunk lmao 😂🤌😂 just heard the drunk stories from my sister and man it aint good over there lmao 😂🤌 I'm just hoping when that fat bitch Karina goes to prison they get her good 👍😤👍 now theure trying to blame my tias friend conchita in saying that she could of stopped hok fr getting murdered by his mom yeah 👍 special place in hell for her and I can't wait to hear the Storys about her suffering in prison for life 🧬🥺🥺 definitely been to sad 😭 and hopefully praying she'll never set a foot out ever again 😤🥰🥰 like he was only 7 you guys and she's looking at 90 to life and all my dumbass cousins still on that dumb shit lmao 😂😂 it's like bro can y'all stfu lmao 😂😂 an quit doing drugs lmao 😂🤌😂 at least take care of ur body's before you end up worse lmao 😂🤌😂 like damn it lmao 😂 family to dramatic call me Dr dream lmao 😂😂 and it's not just the family now theyre having kids lmao 😂 an im like huh lmao 😂🤌😂 more shitty people in the family for what lmao 😂😂 oh but bo that their grown with kids its everyone else's fault lmao 😂 like bro whoa fault was it being shitty kids lmao 😂🤌😂 yalls fault lmao 😂🤌😂 oh but too cool lmao 😂😂 nah it wanst funny then to our parents an now its worse off for yall lmao 😂😂😂 its like wow honoring ur parents os the way to be blessed by god himself idk who said lmao 😂😂😂 oh but you can't taje it back lmao 😂😂 oh ok lmao 😂😂 but keeping up pretenses also makes u a dumbass lmao 😂🤌😂 oh well lmao 😂😂 ugh 😩😫 it's to funny I can't even make it up lmao 😂🤌😂 I have to laugh lmao 😂🤌 like huh lmao 😂🤌😂 oh but so changed ya cuando weyes lmao 😂🤌😂 5 kids in an ur still miserable lmao 😂🤌😂 to late now lmao 😂🤌 ugh it's to funny I can't even like log off lmao 😂🤌 it really is who's the drama me nah lmao 😂🤌😂 I'm to not fake I'll never be able to fake anything lmao 😂🤌😂 but I'll pray lmao 😂🤌 but gah damn I won't forget lmao 😂🤌😂 an that's on the real god lmao 😂🤌 oh so cute nah lmao 😂🤌😂 silent judgements lmao 😂 in not bitter way lmao 😂 in I'll laugh lmao 😂🤌😂 later lmao 😂🤌 ugh and this is why i never posted on Tumblr since I made one lmao 😂🤌 ugh 😩😫 man god is real and im glad people came to their senses quick lmao 😂🤌😂 embarrassing yeah lmao 😂🤌 but idgaf lmao 😂🤌😂 I'll laugh to their faces lmao 😂🤌😂 like huh lmao 😂🤌 i knew it lmao 😂😂 misread your text lmao 😂 no 😂😂 i gotta laugh with how fake everyone is lmao 😂🤌 now they can't even be mad lmao 😂🤌 promise I won't judge but fuck it's funny to me now lmao 😂🤌😂😂 now twitter is on to me and that's never good lmao 😂🤌😂 how I get trolls before most people got fame lmao 😂🤌 i have to laugh lmao 😂🤌😂 like huh lmao 😂🤌😂

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Can I have Present mic, Aizawa, and all might where they learn their young student is fatherless? Like... their father walked out/went to prison when they were young. I'm sorry if this is time consuming, but I can't stop sobbing over my father.

I'm the situation baby but remember it wasn't your fault

I changed it up a little bit with Mics- I hope you don't mind

Present Mic:

• from the getgo something was wrong

• The moment you walked into class he could tell

• You looked like shit

• Dark bags under your eyes, hair messily brushed, just to get it out if your face, and your eyes were a light red.

• You didn't look particularly happy to be there either

• something turns in his stomach, a gut feeling that something really had went down

• And he hated seeing his students upset

• but he was relatively close to you to begin with, his felt different

• He felt like he had to do something

• Everyone settled into their seats as the bull rung but his eyes remained on you

• You honestly didn't pay attention during the lesson

• He could tell as much

• class finishes and the bell rings but you sit still, and it's not until most of the students have trickled out of the room do you start packing up

• He walks over and kneels in front of the desk "You okay there? You don't look so good," he looks concerned and his heart drops when he sees your lip start to quiver

• It takes you 0.27 seconds to break and you're frantically wiping your eyes as sobs wrack your body

• He's got his arms wrapped around you in seconds and you're leaning into his shoulder.

• He isn't sure exactly how long you're crying for but eventually you calm down enough to get out a coherent sentence

• "My-My dad was arrested Friday night. He won't tell me why- he won't let anyone else tell me why and I don't know what else to do," you cry, "I miss him so much and its only been a few days- I don't- I don't have anyone else, Mr. Hazashi,"

• And you're crying again.

• He has you take the rest of the day off, in fact he takes the day with you

• He calls in a sub (you don't know what strings he had to pull for that but you don't ask, at this point you don't care) and you two dip

• He takes you to get food, real food, that'll make you feel better

• He knows that'll help a little

• and after that he takes you to get something sweet- that tends to help mood and blood pressure and anxiety

• So he does his best with you

• He nutures you the best way he knows how

• if you need anything and I mean ANYTHING this man has you covered

• He does his best to step up in any way he can

• first off he extends his assignment deadlines and cancels two tests. Who needs them anyway.

• And you eat lunch in his classroom because he can well tell you don't want to talk to anyone else right now

• He closes it off (seemingly) so in reality its just you and him

• He'll probably tell Aizawa too but on the downlow (just so he knows)

• When holidays roll around, the dorms close.

• In this case- he let's you stay with him. He has an extra bedroom. He doesn't want you to stay in an empty house.

• You also get his phone number (which you gladly use) for anything really

• Bored? He'll deliver some shitty puns.

• Confused about homework? Text him.

• having a mental breakdown? He's got you covered.

• You got memes? Please for the love of God send them to him.

• The dynamic eventually shifts to a VERY father daughter relationship.

• He knows he'll never replace your dad. He understands that wholeheartedly, but he wants you to have someone

• He actually gets a letter from your dad, thanking him for taking care of you

• but he really doesn't mind

Aizawa:

• He had a feeling that there was something going on at home. Or rather, a lack of something.

• He's dealt with it in the oast- with himself and with past students and current ones

• Shinsou

• I mean, aside from that fact whenever parents were mentioned, you'd either stiffen up or wrinkle your nose

• You didn't really like the subject of parents

• There was an essay prompt about parents (nothing too personal) nd you ended up writing it on the extinction of dinosaurs and why God fucked up instead

"It'd be absolutely stellar to see huge lizards roaming the earth and occasionally stepping on people, you know? Jurassic park was onto something."

• Man's couldn't even fail you on it because it was written v well

• Anyway, he doesn't pry too much. He just silently figures it out by process if elimination and pattern.

• He doesn't really care too much

• In the sense if it doesn't define you and he doesn't help you because he pities you

• he helps you because he seems potential

• He takes you under his wing with shinsou

• Yall spend a whole summer training

• And that's when it all came out

• It was an accident really.

• Shinsou was tired, exhausted really

• and when people get tired- that tired- sometimes they spout random shot they wouldn't usually say

• and thats what he did

• he went on about his home life

• and if he could, you could too right?? You could trust them.

• "My dad walked out when I was a kid. Little, like 3. I have a few pictures of him holding me, but I guess it wasn't enough. I don't have any desire to meet him. Not anymore. But it left me feeling like I did something wrong? I guess? Which I suppose is why I train. Because then I feel strong. Which is a good difference from how it usually feels."

• He knew it.

• He called it.

• He was right again.

• He reassures you that you are good enough, strong enough, and his decision to leave had nothing to do with you

• and when he saw you give him a soft smile, he warmed.

• I mean really, it only goes up from there

• he'll deny it, or grumble under his breath, but he seems you two as his own

• Like these aren't my kids but they are my kids

• When dorms close on holiday yall get to stay because that's where he lives too

• Like if you chose too

• he's not gonna force you to stay but if you don't want to go home, you don't have too

• He has that power

• He will buy you food

• all you gotta do is ask

• and he'll roll his eyes and grumble something he doesn't really mean, just secretly happy that you feel comfortable enough around him to ask for something

• lmao family group chat

S: 'Hey Mr. Aizawa I found this cat. Hold on lemme send a pic'

A: 'Dont need a pic. Bring him home'

Y: 'What if he's ugly??'

A: 'gremlin. Bring him home.'

Or

Y: 'Hey I saw this tweet that said 'kids be like watch this and do a half roundhouse spin kick clap and waste my fucking time' and it make me think of you.'

S: @ mr. Aizawa when he has to watch deku do sumn

Y: Lmaoooo like when he threw the baseball

S: LMAOO

A: Me watching you too try to figure out how to beat me in training

Y: Yikes bro

S: That was a rough one

• Does he regret giving you and shinsou his number??

• Maybe

• Not really

• Lmao super secret lunch movie days

• Every week on wendesday yall watch a movie. Usually it takes 2 or 3 days to watch the movie since lunch is only 70 minutes

• @ you accidently calling him dad one day and shinsou snickering but it stuck

• dadzawa lmaoo

Allmight:

• Man's has 2 underlings.

• You and Deku.

• Picked you up when he started teaching at UA

• Ion know let's say one day you popped off bc he said some dumb shit and you were like no sir that's clearly wrong

• schooled him in his own damn subject

• the other kids were like 😳

• what the fuck

• Anyway

• He see's you have potential

• And though he's not the best teacher, you seem to respond better to the way HE was taught

• So tbh its easier to teach you

• 'okay, now I want you to beat the shot out if that wall,'

'Okay lmao bet'

• Midoriya is like, hey mayhaps we should analyze the situation

• N ur like noe

• You just don't give a fuck

• about anything really

• other than moving up the ranks

• But even then- its not a super super big deal, you're just gonna do your best but you aren't gonna stress

• However he noticed a pattern w you (even before Midoryia brought it up to him)

• You don't let anyone in

• Midoryia knows a bit more than the other students but that's really only because he's always with you

• a good majority of the week he's w you

• but its not really a deep connection

• you don't rely on either of them

• You do your best to do things on your own.

• He knows midoryias life story

• he knows why he acts the way he does

• but he doesn't know why you do

• he has a gut feeling it could be the same as midoryia

• I mean he already had one kid who's dad dipped

• he'll surely be able to figure out you too??

• So he makes himself a promise that he'll figure it out and he'll become someone you trust

• And he does just that

• When you tell him about your nightmare of a family history he's like mm, makes sense

• but he's happy that you trust him!!!

• He's a BIG suckered for movie nights

• he's got popcorn, snacks, candy, chocolate, soda- he's prepared

• list of movies lined out all ready

• I lowkey feel like he'd be into lord of the rings or fast n furious

• fast n furious at LEAST

• He's really into American action movies

• and he has no problem sharing those movies with you

• he doesn't have a whole ton of money, like he's not rich, but if you or midoryia need something he's definitely there to get it for you

• even if ur like fam no you don't need too

• he'll buy yell food a lot

• a l o t

• and cards

• when you and midoryia get him a father's day card he thinks he's gonna cry

• You guys also have a group chat

• 'da faemilee'

• Y: "Hey dad do you have milk?"

A: "???? Do I have milk????"

Y: "ya I'm looking in your fridge n ion see any???"

A: "How'd you even get in????"

Y: "Izuku."

I: "lmaoo"

Or

Y: Izuku you dumb bitch I left for ONE day

Y: And you got into a fight with Bakugou

I: He wanted to throw hands. I just did what you would do.

A: He's got you there

Or

A: What do you guys want for dinner

I: Sushi

Y: Chicfila

Y: Izu square up

I: K

Or

Y: Izu is fighting kacchow again

A: Beat his ass young midoriya

Y: Lmaoooooo

[honeynutouran]

Me too (Kirishima x Reader)

Summary: You have had a crush on Kirishima since you started going to UA but you never said anything. Now third years you have a long weekend and you and your friends decide to go on a road trip.

Word count: 1.8k

Kirishima x GN reader

Y/N = your name

A/N: I haven't written in a hot minute so I wrote this up feeling the need to write. Sorry if its not the best I just wanted to post something for you guys. Also I suck at endings so I apologize.

Warnings: some cursing, one bed and fluff. (If there are any other warnings please reach out to me so I know)

UNEDITED

Being best friends with Bakugou Katsuki had its perks like he would help you study because “If you won’t leave me alone might as well keep up with me.” (His exact words) And you got to hang out with his other friends and his other best friend, Kirishima.

Bakugou has noticed that you have had a liking for Kirishima and would not drop it. “God, just say something to shitty hair already, I am sick of you staring at him all the time. I’m trying to teach you this new move listen dumbass.” He said to you when he caught you staring at Kirishima during training.

“I was admiring his form, shut up boom-boom boy.” You spat back, hitting him with your quirk.

“Yeah right, his form, and that didn’t even hurt.” He laughed brushing off where you had hit him.

“I wasn’t aiming to hurt you, dumbass.” You said this time aiming at his head as he tried to dodge your oncoming attack.

A few weeks had passed and you and the rest of your group were planning what you would all do on your next long weekend. Mina insisted you all go on a road trip stopping at her house one night since she had enough room for everyone as long as everyone was cool with sharing sleeping spaces. Everyone agreed it seemed like fun, well almost everyone.

“Why would I want to spend a long weekend with you extras?” Bakugou questioned.

“Bakugoubro, you’ll have a great time with us.” Kaminari smiled a toothy grin to Bakugou and Kirishima joined in.

“Yeah, it wouldn’t be very mainly to skip out on time with your friends," Kirishima added.

“Plus, if you don’t hang out with us, who else will put up with you?” Sero chimed in causing everyone but the boy in question to laugh.

“Fine, so you guys stop annoying me.” He gave in and you smiled to yourself thinking about a weekend with your friends and especially with Kirishima.

After getting permission from Aizawa to leave the dorms for the weekend and Sero borrowing his family’s minivan the plan all fell into place.

“We can take turns driving every couple of hours!” Mina exclaimed climbing into the passenger seat next to Sero in the driver’s seat. Behind them in the middle row were Bakugou and Kaminari. You and Kirishima were in the very back because Bakugou claimed he would get car sick in the back (a lie he came up with so you could sit next to Kirishima, unknown to you) and Kaminari claimed he would be best in the middle so he could charge everyone’s phones fairly.

“let me know if you need more room, it would be unmanly of me if I made you uncomfortable.” Kirishima smiled at you as you guys got situated in your seats.

“I’m okay, thanks, Kiri.” You smiled back at him.

After a few hours, you started to feel yourself get more and more tired despite it now being Mina's driving shift and she was not the most graceful driver.

“Hey, Y/N you look pretty tired,” Kirishima whispered.

“hmm.” You nodded in reply your eyelids becoming heavier. You tried to fight the tiredness, but you failed, finally letting the sleep take over.

Kirishima was frozen in place as your head plopped onto his shoulder, he knew that if he moved and woke you up it would be super unmanly. He would never let anyone wake up because of him, especially you. Mina looked in the mirror and smiled at the sight of you and whispered to the rest of the car to look. With that Kirishima blushed when the rest of the boys turned towards you two Kaminari giving him a thumbs up. Bakugou rolled his eyes at the sight but he was secretly happy for his best friends.

After some more time and everyone having driven, you had finally arrived at Mina’s house. “Welcome to my humble abode!” Mina smiled while gesturing toward the house. “It is a little cramped but, we have 2 spare rooms.” She explained.

“So two rooms and six of us?” Sero asked.

“Well three rooms including mine, so two per room. I’m assuming Y/N in my room then the rest of you can split up.” Mina suggested.

“No way am I sleeping in the same room as any of these loud idiots. I’ll be with you raccoon eyes.” Bakugou complained.

“I am not sure my parents will be okay with you in my room Bakugou.” Mina started.

“Parents love me-“ started but was cut off by your laughing.

“Bakugou my parents have known you since you were in diapers, and they cannot stand you sometimes.” You laughed even more.

“Shut up ditz, I don’t want to be stuck with you all night either. I’ll talk to raccoon eyes parents. Also, sparky you cannot room with Y/N last time you guys had a ‘sleepover’ you short-circuited and shocked Y/N and you both had to see recovery girl.” Bakugou reminded you before walking into the house to convince Mina’s parents of his sleeping arrangement.

“Hey, that was awesome, and we were fine.” Kaminari protested.

“It’s okay dude, we can room together, finish out the smash bros tournament we started in the van.” Sero offered, and Kaminari happily agreed.

“Looks like we are roomies.” Kirishima smiled at you pulling his stuff and yours out of the van.

“I can take that.” You said pointing to your bag but, Kirishima shook his head and insisted he got it. “Thanks, Kiri, you really don’t have to though.” You say feeling bad that he is taking your stuff.

“It’s okay Y/N you’re stuck rooming with me, it’s the least I can do.” He offered smiling, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

“I am not stuck with you, Kiri you would have been my first choice.” You smile back your face starting to heat up. Kiri looks at you a little too long before he realizes he is holding both your stuff and his own.

“I should go bring these to the room then.” He coughed out walking into the house.

“Well, that damn blasty brat convinced my parents that he would be the best to sleep in my room, so I guess I will show the rest of you where you will be staying.” Mina sighed not looking forward to her sleeping arrangements.

“Hey, I am a delight.” Bakugou yelled from somewhere in the house.

“Yeah, can’t wait. Anyways Kaminari and Sero you guys can take my brother's old room since you won’t mind the smell. Kirishima and Y/N you guys can take the guest bedroom.” Mina said pointing to each room. Kirishima nodded and took your stuff into the guest room upon entering he turned to you his face matching his hair.

“Uh Y/N… there is only one bed. I can ask Mina if she has a spare futon or something if you want me to, it would be super unmanly to make you share the bed with me an-“ you cut off his rambling.

“Kiri, it is okay, the bed is pretty big anyways there is plenty of room I wouldn’t want you to be stuck on the floor. I promise it is okay.” You say hoping he does not realize your face is on fire from the idea of sharing a bed with the boy you have been in love with since your first year at UA.

“Well, if you are sure it is okay.” He says a little unsure himself.

“It is.” You reassure him.

When it was time to go to bed Kirishima was panicking when he was changing into his pajamas, what if he did something to make you uncomfortable or what if he does something stupid, but what he didn’t know is you were having the same worries as you changed in the bathroom. After you finished changing you knocked on the door to see if it was okay to come in.

“I’m changed, you can come in,” Kiri said, turning towards the door when you came in. “What side of the bed do you want?”

“Oh, uh I don’t care either is fine.” You said walking in and closing the door behind you.

“Okay, I will just take the side closer to me then.” He said getting into bed, practically on the edge.

“Kiri, you can move over some more, you don’t have to worry. I would be worried if you fell off the bed.” You laughed at his attempts to be as respectful as possible.

“I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He explained once again.

“Kiri how many times must I tell you? You could never make me uncomfortable.” You said moving closer to him.

“Are you sure, because what if I like ended up cuddling you or something?” he blushed.

“I would be okay with that.” You admitted hiding your face under the sheets to avoid any further embarrassment. But your surprise Kirishima grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him.

“This is okay?” he asked.

“It is more than okay.” You replied molding yourself into him.

“I’m glad.” He smiled into the back of your head making himself comfortable against your touch. You two quickly fell asleep in each other’s embrace.

At the moment you two were way too happy to be with one another you forgot about the four other members of your group. You were still in Kirishima’s embrace by morning, only have gotten more entangled with each other.

“Shitty hair, ditz get up!” Bakugou yelled as he opened your door. You both bolted up and backed away from each other only to have Bakugou scoff and close the door. “Don’t be late for breakfast.” He said from behind the door.

“We should probably get down there,” Kirishima said scratching the back of his neck.

“Yeah but first I gotta do something.” You said scooting closer to Kirishima.

“Do what?” he asked as you got closer.

“This.” You smirked, closing the distance between you two by crashing your lips into his, he quickly caught on and deepened the kiss letting the feelings across that you two have shared for each other for years. “Been wanting to do that for a long time.” You smiled when you broke apart.

“Me too.” He smiled back in his crooked smile. “So does this mean we are dating?”

“I hope so.” You said grabbing his hand and pulling him out of bed.

“Then it does.” He replied as you walked hand in hand to breakfast.

“I CALLED IT!” Mina yelled when you two walked into the kitchen.

“Sero owes me five bucks.” Kaminari said smirking at you two.

“Technically no, because we do not know when this happened.” Sero said to Kaminari making him frown.

“Who cares, can we eat,” Bakugou complained but you could have sworn when no one was looking he smiled to himself. “Told you, you should have told him.” He said to you under his breath.

“Did you know this whole time Katsuki?” you asked.

“Tch, know what?" He replied taking a bite of his food and refusing to keep talking on the matter. Kirishima grabbed your hand once again giving it a small squeeze and smiling at you when you turned your head towards him.

“I’m glad we went on this trip.” He smiled.

“Me too.” You smiled back Kiri.

[ur-favorite-queer-queen]

Protect

For Maribat March day 18 theme protect 

Master List 

“DEAREST BIG BROTHER! I’M HOME!” A female shout came from the foyer of the manor. 

Dick, Jason, Tim, Babs, Steph, and Cass were hanging out in one of the many rooms the manor held. Alfred had just walked in with a tray of drinks but froze at the sound of the voice.

“THE HECK!” Was shouted by the same voice followed by Damian’s voice shouting, 

“WHO ARE YOU!?!?! HOW DID YOU GET IN!?!?!” 

Alfred was out of the room in an instant. He was not sprinting but he might as well be with how fast he was walking. The batkids immediately followed after him. 

They walked in on a sight none of them will ever forget. Literally, Jason had taken a picture. A strange woman who looked like a female, miniature version of Bruce had Damian’s precious katana and seemed to be taunting him with it. 

“Miss Marinette!” Alfred called and got both the woman’s and Damian’s attention. 

“Alfred!” The woman replied, running over and giving him a hug, katana still in her hand. 

“Wait, Aunt Nettie?” Dick spoke up, walking over to the pair. 

“Little Wing! Wow, you got so much bigger since the last time I saw you.” She responded, giving him a hug. 

“Wait, wait, your Aunt Nettie?” Jason asked, crossing his arms. 

“Aww, Little Blue Jay, you don’t remember me?” She shot back, crossing her arms as well. 

“Blue Jay, why is that familiar?” Jason muttered to himself, not quietly enough since everyone heard him. 

“Aunt Nettie, you only visited once when he was here.” Dick reminded her. 

“Oh, well that will explain that. Also how many more kids did Bruce adopt? I thought it was only the 2 of you, the Drake kid, and his bio kid.” She questioned, motioning to each child she remembered. 

“The only other kid he adopted is Cass, Steph and Babs are family friends.” Dick clarified. 

“Babs, the first Batgirl correct?” She asked, turning to the girl in question. Everyone froze at that, this girl who was apparently Bruce’s sister knew who they were.

“It’s fine guys, she’s known since the beginning of his time as Batman.” Dick assured. 

“Yep, speaking of my big brother, where is he?” 

“Master Bruce is currently at a WE meeting, but he will be back in time for dinner.” Alfred answered for her. 

“How come father never told us about you?” Damian voiced, glaring at her and looking like he wanted to attack her again. Probably because she still had his katana. 

“I rarely visit nowadays and he’s probably still upset after last time.” Marinette smirked, like she had won some sort of battle. Noticing she still had his katana, she handed the blade back to Damian. 

“Last time?” Tim hesitantly echoed. 

“How about Miss Marinette shares the story in the living room? I can bring snacks.” Alfred offered, Marinette looked like she was about to say something but Alfred beat her to it, “You bond with your nieces and nephews, I will be fine.” 

“Come on Marinette! You can tell them about how you helped train Bruce! Oh did you bring any kwamis with you?” Dick rambled, pulling Marinette with him into the room they were hanging out in before her appearance. 

Once they were all seated Tim started the conversation, “So I’m not hallucinating, you are actually Bruce’s sister.” 

“Yes, Bruce is 3 years older than me. I know that he is Batman and you guys are the bats and the birds.” She calmly responded. 

“What did Dick mean by you helped train Bruce? And what is a Kwami?” Babs continued. 

“Kwami are basically magical beings, kinda like gods, that are bound to jewels called miraculous. Since I’m the guardian I protect these jewels. I trained Bruce by helping my old mentor from Tibet train him.” Marinette explained. 

“What happened last time? And why don’t you visit often?” Damian asked, carefully hidden curiosity in his eyes. 

“Back in my first year of highschool, Bruce was very protective of me. Like very protective. No boy he didn’t approve of, which meant I could never talk to a single boy, could get within 10 feet of me without him present. Asking me out, out of the question. Pretty sure this one guy, Adam, wanted to ask me out but Bruce interrupted before he could. I never talked to him again after that. I got pretty tired of it so I signed up for the foreign exchange program and went to school in Paris.” 

“Wait,” Steph interrupted, “Bruce was an overprotective brother?” 

“One of the worst kinds. I’m sure if our parents were still alive he might’ve been worse than my dad.”

“What importance does this have to the questions?” Damian sneered, annoyed that he wasn’t getting any answers. 

“Hold on I’m getting there. So anyways it was in my sophomore year of highschool at Paris that a supervillain attacked. He called himself Hawkmoth, he used the butterfly miraculous to transform people into his puppets by using their emotions against them. I didn’t think much of it since it didn’t concern me, my host family agreed thinking it wouldn’t last long. But when I got to my room there was a little box sitting on my desk and that’s where I found the ladybug miraculous. The most powerful miraculous besides the cat miraculous. I told Bruce, he wasn’t too happy about it, but there wasn’t much he could do. So much happened in that amount of time that I don’t think I could summarize it all before Bruce gets back but just know that in that span of time I met the current guardian. Hawkmoth gained an ally who used the peacock miraculous, Mayura. Also a miraculous that could manipulate emotions. 

After I and my partner had defeated Hawkmoth and Mayura, sometime during my senior year, we revealed our identities, dated for a few months before I ended things. Then I went back home and Bruce was getting ready to go on his soul-searching journey to be trained by masters or whatever and I suggested he be trained by my mentor who was in Tibet. I went with him, we trained for a couple of months before he left. I decided to stay in Tibet to train to become the next guardian. Eventually my mentor died and gave me guardianship. 

Then I returned to Gotham and Bruce had adopted Little Wing over there. So I stayed here for a while before I decided to go around the world doing guardian things. Bruce didn’t like the idea but there wasn’t much he could do. I ended up catching up with an old friend of mine on one of my travels and we started dating before I came back here. That’s when I met Little Blue Jay for the first and last time.

Before you guys had gone on patrol I tried to ask Bruce to give my boyfriend a chance but he didn’t agree. I’ve always been his little sister in his eyes, I think he couldn’t handle the fact I had grown up. Nasty words were exchanged between us and I haven’t returned since. In the end me and him didn’t work out but I couldn’t bring myself to return, until now at least.” 

“Why now?” Damian immediately pressed once she finished her explanation. 

“Dusuu was missing Alfred. It has been like a decade or something.” She remarked, pulling out a peacock shaped brooch. 

“Didn’t you say that the peacock miraculous was evil?” Cass signed, raising an eyebrow at the brooch. 

“No, I said it was used for evil. The miraculous are technically neutral, can be used for good or evil. Depends on who is wielding them.” Marinette bit back, as a flash of light emitted from the brooch. Suddenly a small floating peacock creature stood in front of Marinette. 

“Is that a kwami?” Steph asked. 

“Yes, this is Dusuu, the peacock kwami of emotions.”

“Hello! It’s so nice to meet you!” Dusuu chirped, “Where’s Alfred?” 

“I am right here Dusuu. It is lovely to see you again.” Alfred spoke from the doorway, holding a tray of snacks and drinks. 

“Alfred!” Dusuu cheered before flying over and hugging the older man. 

“In all honesty Bruce doesn’t sound like the best brother.” Jason pointed out. 

“I know it may seem like he’s a shitty brother, and at the time I totally thought he was and still is, but I know where he’s coming from. Bruce was always the more reserved and protective out of the 2 of us even before what happened to our parents. I think our parents' death solidified his need to protect me from anything and anyone. And we all know how horrible Bruce is at showing his emotions so I know his heart was in the right place. Plus, we’ve had years to cool off, I’m sure we can have a mature conversation now.” Marinette explained, a fond smile gracing her lips. 

Faintly in the distance they heard Alfred say, “Welcome home, Master Bruce.” 

“That’s my cue!” Marinette said before bolting off in the direction of the foyer. 

“Alfred something’s off, what are you not telling me?” The second those words left his mouth a weight connected with his back, arms wrapped around his neck and a familiar, 

“HEY BIG BRO!” Was registered by his ears. 

The weight slipped off his back and as he turned around he was met with the familiar sight of his little sister. “Marinette.” 

“Bruce.”

“You’re here.” 

“I am.” 

“I thought-”

“That I was mad at you.”

“You didn’t visit for 10 years.” 

“Life got busy.” 

They stood in silence for a minute. 

“I missed you.” Marinette whispered, so much different from the girl that was telling them a brief summary of her life. She seemed so much more vulnerable uttering those words than when she had revealed why she hadn’t come back in the first place. 

Turns out that was the straw that broke the camel’s back as Bruce wrapped Marinette in a hug as tears slipped from his eyes. They could hear him whispering over and over again, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did all those years ago.” 

It was weird for them all to see, including Dick who knew how much Marinette meant to Bruce. Bruce kept his emotions so closed up, master of the stoic face, but here he was breaking down in front of the all. Here he was crying and apologizing. 

“I believe we should leave them alone for now.” Alfred spoke up heading for the dining room. They followed. Later Bruce and Marinette would join them, a little red-eyed with their cheeks tear-stained, but small smiles on their faces. 

It was then that all the batkids knew that they would be seeing this ‘Aunt Nettie’ much more often. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look at that, I’m super late again! Nothing new, I think day 14 was a one time thing unfortunately. 

I’ve seen a ton of fics where Marinette was Bruce’s older sister but what about where she’s his younger sister? Bruce would so be an overprotective older brother. 

I hoped you enjoyed this! I’m planning on making a part 2 of this for ‘contest’. So stay tuned!

@maribatmarch-2k21 

[morifinwes]

Lauraa I finished all the fics, apart from decay (currently reading that now) and I love it sm! Especially the lip gloss one lmao the whole thing was so hilarious to me XD but also like the concept of lwj wearing lipgloss is >>> -yibobibo

@yibobibo then i'm going to rec you some more!! the lip gloss one was !!!!! ajsksks yes!! lwj wearing lipgloss is just so!! good!!

modern

this one is the painful one i talked about:

visitations by var_abelasan (12K, wip, divorced wangxian, post divorce, most of this is angst, uhm lowkey don't but also do want wangxian to end up together, it's messy, the jiangs & lans are shitty, wwx was in prison (brief mentions of that but it's kind of a major plot point), mxy & xy are the little brothers he never wanted but wwx picked them up anyways)

"Wei Ying-" Lan Zhan says, stutters, "I'm sorry." 

And now Wei Wuxian sees it, the red rimming Lan Zhan's eyes, the rumpled edges of his blazer. There is an old, familiar urge for him to reach over, to hold Lan Zhan's hand and smooth his hair, to tell him that everything will be fine. 

"We're all a bit sorry about this, I think," he says instead, and finds that he means it. For Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and everyone else in that Guanyin temple, the pain must be unbearably fresh, like skin just flayed open. But Wei Wuxian's chest had been cracked open a long time ago, his wounds licked and cauterized and sewn shut over five long years - Ever hurting, but a dull, constant ache, "It's really alright, Lan Zhan."

 

Five years after being accused of corporate espionage and losing everything, the Guanyin Scandal breaks open and Wei Wuxian finds a familiar face at his door.

please don't let me be misunderstood by sysrae (3K, partly deaf!wwx, lwj notices, nobody else does though, idk wwx is like made out of fucking steel or some shit)

Lan Wangji has known Wei Ying for a fortnight, the first time he sees him get hit by a car.

light by redkosmos (10K, blind!lwj, which causes angst, but they manage it, best friends to lovers, fluff, lwj being insecure and feeling like a burden, college au kind of? but it doesn't matter too much)

The realization slowly dawns on him.

He can never again see the brightness of Wei Ying's eyes, the way they crescent when he smiles, never again see the rich black of his hair, the mess of it in the early mornings, never again see the beautiful tan of his skin, the beauty of the scars and marks adorned on it, how he wears his clothes, how it hugs his frame beautifully, how he looks like he's adorably swimming in cloth when he wears Lan Zhan's, and-

(Lan Zhan loses his vision in a car accident and learns to cope with it.)

don't leave me by trippinonskies (19K, brief very brief mention of lwj cheating, he doesn't but wwx is afraid lwj is cheating on him or just wants to break up with him, (he doesn't), marriage proposal, lwj acting distant = wwx's insecurities show up, fluff, angst and comfort)

Lan Zhan! Where are you lost today?” Wei Wuxian finally asks, at the end of his patience.

Lan Zhan looks a little guilty as he looks at Wei Wuxian, “Sorry, just a lot of work to deal with.”

Lie.

If there is one thing Lan Zhan can’t do, it’s lying. Especially to Wei Wuxian. But he doesn’t question Lan Zhan. He just accepts the reply, too scared to know that he is right. Too scared to know the truth.

// or where Lan Zhan is too hung up in planning the perfect proposal and ends up accidently ignoring Wei Wuxian making the other think that he wants to break up //

want you closer by xiaobucephalus ((3K, HORSES, only in the background tho, but wwx is an equestrian vet, which is so fucking valid bro, the lans own horses, a sick bunny, lwj the bunny parent!, super cute, dark bay throughoutbred chenqing is honestly so valid)

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Don’t thank me, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying laughed again, his voice warming the chill of fear that had settled in his chest. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to get into your hutch for a while anyway.”

safe in your thoughts by anonymous (20K, it's a cherry magic au???? (i haven't watched it, but you have i think?), horny lwj but only for wwx (always for wwx))

Wei Wuxian learns three very important things on the night of his twenty-seventh birthday.

One, that Lan Wangji is ridiculously funny, which Wei Wuxian had known before but what Wei Wuxain hadn’t expected was Lan Wangji to be funny at his brother’s expense.

Two, that Wei Wuxian had finally gone mad, absolutely mental at the ripe age of twenty seven because nothing else would explain the third thing he had learnt.

Third, and the most unbelievable of the lot, that Lan Wangji wants to fuck him.

iura by yoo_im_finally_writing (1K, only added bcs op is right and wwx would've the cutest german accent, it's more fun if you understand german so hit me up if you want translations for the german sentences)

Wei Ying calls in the middle of the night to talk about German law, and Lan Zhan tries very hard not to fall asleep. Or at least, not to let Wei Ying notice he's falling asleep. (As best friends do.)

breathe in the air, the last of its kind by wereworm / @neverdoingmuch (27K, getting together, jealous!lwj, but also kind of supportive, brief mention of cheating bcs of miscommunication, no actual cheating tho, college au, lwj pov)

Following Wei Ying’s line of sight, Lan Wangji can barely prevent a smile from crossing his lips when he sees the short row of rabbit statuettes placed at the front of the display. Silver, with bright gems for eyes, they look elegant yet lively and animated.

“A-Yuan would love one of those,” Wei Ying murmurs, almost as if to himself.

Lan Wangji frowns; the rabbits, while cute, don’t seem like a suitable gift for Wei Ying’s A-Yuan.

...

It’s only when he glances back at the rabbits and notices what has been placed on display behind them, that the pieces fall into place. They’re engagement rings, there’s no doubt about it. Lan Wangji feels his heart sink – Wei Ying isn’t just dating A-Yuan, he wants to propose to him.

Or: the five times Lan Wangji thinks that A-Yuan is Wei Ying’s boyfriend and the one time he learns the truth.

paint smears on sunny days by snowshadowao3 / @angstsexual (53K, getting together, art teacher!wwx, single parent!lwj, they're rich if i remember right, wwx & lwj are both good with kids!!!, this is so good actually, fluff)

To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.

He comes close, though.

By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.

What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.

“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks.

(Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)

no bunny compares by gusucloudbunny (4K, god this is cute, fluff)

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cornered his friend one week before his birthday. “If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

Lan Wangji furrowed his brow at Wei Wuxian, not exactly sure how to answer that question in a truthful manner that didn’t involve confessing his undying love for his best friend.

Wei Wuxian is on a mission to get Lan Wangji the perfect gift for his birthday. What Wei Wuxian doesn't know is that the only thing Lan Wangji truly wants is him.

wei wuxian's week of realizing things by photojenny (12K, i have read this multiple times, i always forget what happens, idk why but my notes say it's good, the tags say drunkji makes an appearance and i'm always up for that)

"Lan Zhan, do you like Mianmian?" asked Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji blinked, and stared. It was not the first time Lan Wangji had questioned the perceptiveness of the boy he had a crush on. Wei Wuxian had been smart in the class they had taken together. Yet time and time again, Wei Wuxian had tested the old wisdom that there are no stupid questions.

---

Lan Wangji must figure out how to confess when Wei Wuxian is the most oblivious person he's ever met.

are you my wisdom tooth? because i'd like to take you out by yellowcarnations (1K, crack, fluff, lwj stop flirting with a stranger, even if he is your husband, drunkji but make it to max level)

Lan Zhan wakes up and he has no idea where he is.

There are bright lights and his jaw hurts, he doesn't who this man next to his bed is but oh he might be in love, maybe, probably, definitely.

–

based off that guy-forgets-who-his-wife-is-and-hits-on-her vid but its wangxian.

beep! goes his heart by wearing_tearing (3K, fluff, lwj is like "he, he likes me right? he likes me" and everyone is like "yes, yes he does")

“Wei Ying’s heart monitor,” Lan Wangji starts.

Wen Qing blinks at him. “Yes?”

“It beeps.”

“That’s… what they generally do, yes.”

“The beeps change,” Lan Wangji continues, “when others are around.”

*

Wei Ying’s heart only sings for Lan Wangji.

canon

obedient and bellicose by thunderwear (19K, lwj is cursed by the lan elders, they notice too late, fix-it fic kind of?, lqr being a good uncle and lxc is a good brother, wwx accidentally uses the curse but he doesn't know about it)

It took Lan Wangji a long time to realize he was cursed. Too long really, anyone else would have noticed so much sooner. The problem was, he liked following the rules.

Ella Enchanted AU that no one needed but I wanted.

hello my old heart, how have you been? by ravenditefairylights (10K, amnesia, fluff, wwx taking care of lwj, so much fluff and softness, angst too but not that much)

The issue is, Lan Wangji brings his thoughts back before they stray too far, that it is impossible for someone to be in his bed, unless Lan Wangji himself invited them. He has not. He would remember doing so, and besides, all his night clothes are still on and there is no headache to imply that he was inebriated last night. No, the situation is simple.

There is someone in Lan Wangji’s bed. It is impossible for anyone to be in Lan Wangji’s bed, and yet that doesn’t seem to have stopped the stranger.

or lan wangji wakes up, and wei ying is there. he doesn't understand how or why, and he can understand even less why his hallucination of wei ying is so insistent on bathing him, and braiding his hair, on holding him and fixing his clothes. why the hallucination of wei ying seems so happy to see him.

teach me the way by likeafox (58K, rogue cultivator!wwx, horny wangxian, lwj wants wwx to teach him how to be a good lover, ....wwx is a virgin, the porn is the plot, but there's less of it than i thought)

"I do not wish to leave my future spouse… dissatisfied with my intimate knowledge,” Lan Zhan says, very seriously. “I am hoping to find an instructor, to better prepare myself for such matters."

Wei Ying feels his mouth drop open. He's pretty sure the Second Jade of Lan just told him he's a virgin who wants to learn how to do sex good.

Rogue Cultivator Wei Wuxian is the stuff of local legends. Some of those legends are even true! The ones about his tremendous experience in bed, on the other hand, are not so true. Which becomes a problem when Lan Wangji, on the verge of an arranged marriage and worried he won’t know how to please his future spouse, enlists Wei Ying's help to teach him the art of love-making. Wei Ying's great at improvisation, though, and is pretty sure he's got this sex mentor thing under control. What could possibly go wrong

other aus

of god: my love unholy by tunnelodfawn (3K, tw blood / war, dark!lwj, god!wwx, kind of poetry)

Lan Zhan takes everything as a sign from his god. The blood staining his fingertips—a holy anointment. He sanctifies himself through blood. The strings of his guqin gleam red in the sun—a divine blessing. This is an instrument of destruction. A single note—a cry of power—and in this note the voice of his god unravels the earthly threads tethering man to earth.

The Yiling Patriarch blesses Lan Zhan with war. Wei Wuxian blesses Lan Zhan with agility. Wei Ying blesses Lan Zhan with love.

The base of the Yiling Patriarch’s shrine is the home of Lan Zhan’s knees. He worships. There is something of the blasphemous and the unholy in his prayers. He prays not for victory but for the sight of Wei Ying. Bless me with your presence, he begs.

Or, wherein, Lan Zhan bridges the gap between the mortal and the divine—the worshipper and the god—with blood.

the river and the sea by sasamelons / @sasamelons (7K, soulmate au, arranged marriage (wangxian with each other), they're both kind of dumb but i love it)

Lan Wangji gritted his teeth, wishing to just be left alone. "I am looking for my soulmate," he ground out.

"Oh."

It took Lan Wangji a few moments to realize that Wei Wuxian had stopped following him. When he looked back, the other boy seemed to be frozen to the spot, eyes wide and lips still parted. He quickly looked away when he saw Lan Wangji looking back. "I see. Well, have a good trip!"

--

At six years old, Lan Zhan met his soulmate on the streets of Yiling and promptly lost him again.

At sixteen years old, Lan Wangji met his betrothed and was determined not to like him.