Underground Feed Back Stereo - Brothers Perspective Magazine - Personal Opinion Database - black people don't be negative to self #undergroundfeedbackstereo #blackart
Underground Feed Back Stereo – Brothers Perspective Magazine – Personal Opinion Database – black people don’t be negative to self
Black August Resistance Uprising against white aggression in Montgomery Alabama in 2023. Black People suffer in a place many are void of Self Awareness and Dignified Liberation. These europeons stole the land by killing the natives of lands but not to share with the…
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Fun little silly thought I had about the Lair Games and specifically Leo deliberately losing is all the reasons he could have for doing so.
My favorite headcanon for his main motivation is that Splinter wasn’t proud of him anymore.
I imagine that, in the beginning, winning the Lair Games was Leo’s opportunity to shine. He wasn’t artistic or the baby of the family like Mikey, wasn’t a tech genius who created amazing inventions like Donnie, wasn’t the eldest who was insanely strong and dependable like Raph. So he had to shine somewhere else- anywhere else- and what better way to get attention than to be a winner? A champion?
And then he won too much. And it wasn’t special anymore. He got too big headed, too cocky, he knew this was his element and he ran with it.
Splinter’s words of congratulations slowly petered out. Suddenly, there was no real reason to win.
Winning feels empty when the only one cheering you on is yourself.
So- Leo schemed. And he’s a great schemer, fooling his whole family (and Donnie did deserve a win- people were way happier when he won.)
He even gave up his prized possession! His room!
Though he knows his brothers probably think it’s a bad prize. A terrible one, even.
Leo doesn’t sleep much as is, though. So Dad’s snores were more comforting than anything. It was reassuring to hear him so clearly alive and close by.
Even if the distance between them was larger than Leo’d like.
He’d just have to find something else, something more to show his dad that Leo was someone to trust, to be proud of, to love.
He gets his chance soon after, when he needs to pull off a plan against Big Mama at his dad’s side. Leo can only hope this victory is one that has a lasting effect when his father looks at him with pride once more.
Victory, for Leo, is a pretty loaded term.
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Have you ever lived in an area that gets really cold — and I mean, really, dangerously cold — and been out doing some work in that cold, only to suddenly get to enter, say, a heated car? And for just a brief moment, you turn the heat in that car all the way fucking up, and even though your skin can detect that it's Too Hot, it doesn't hurt you? In fact, if only for the short period it takes your body to readjust, it's honestly Utter Bliss?
Well, Nightmare is not fragile. Nobody but Dream can generate positivity in quantities enough to burn him. At worst, Nightmare may get that sensation of "ouch, too hot-!" or a bitter taste lingering like rotten flesh on the back of his tongue, but paltry mortal positivity is never going to hurt him... and yet he's been a long, long, long time alone in the bitter cold, with only the long-defunct memories of his brighter half proving to him that blissful warmth could be a thing at all, that there existed a type of heat that did not harm, that there was a way to get warm that didn't involve getting thrown under the scorching mid-summer sun and pierced straight through. Show Nightmare a sun the didn't bleach the color from the world and blind the eyes of its desperate worshipers, he thought, and Nightmare would show you a liar.
Nightmare would not understand why his employees feel anything positive to him at all. He hasn't gone out of his way to be especially pleasant to them — had even tried to chase Killer off in the beginning, for all that entailed — and he's had people hate him for far less than the cold and distant monolith of "fair" he's carefully chosen to present to these men. They have plenty of reason to be loyal, but all else is inexplicable. Obviously, he concedes, there is something terribly wrong with all of them; that's why he sought them out. He expected strange, and he got it. They are all cruel, learned or not. Most of them, like Nightmare, have learned to enjoy their job. Most of them, like Nightmare, have nothing else. Most of them want nothing else.
...But when those gentle first sparks of warmth flicker to life in their bitter winter souls, one by one, he cannot bear to snuff them out.
He could — it would be easy. So, so, so easy, like crushing a newborn rabbit in your palm — what can it possibly, possibly do? You are so much bigger than it. Your strength, to it, unknowable. Perhaps it would even be merciful, to crush it before it can open its eyes and see the boundless expanse of biting snow — perhaps to cut it short now, asleep in its crooked cradle, would even be an act of love.
Perhaps Nightmare is cruel.
Presented with the miraculous remnants of a fire somehow smouldering under 2 feet of snow, visibly one shift of wind away from snuffing out completely, maybe Nightmare stepped carefully away. Maybe bone-thin twigs and tufts of rooted grass began to find their way into the hungry embers, mysteriously dry and ready to eat. Maybe he sits by them, sometimes, only ever on the cusp of the snowbank they themselves have burnt away — watching. Waiting. Taking note of size and shape and color, using the scratching of the pen as a skin-deep excuse to warm his frostbitten fingers, and all the while never once stopping to think too hard about how easily the flames accept his gifts — how eagerly, how patiently they beckon him. Always a seat waiting for him to take it. Always a plate ready at the table. Always a warmth ready to consume him whole.
Nightmare is an ocean; a deep, black, endless weight, cold and erosive and alive. He is the bitter wind, the deadly snow, the sonorous gnaw of black bile. He is, and has always been, the force that drove people to seek refuge in the warmth. He could not be more different than the fire.
...And yet, somehow, he finds himself understanding.
He, too, is hungry.
And his hunger, too, destroys.
---
(One day, he finds out that the new one is purposefully stifling themself in front of him, having gained an ounce of knowledge of his nature and inexplicably decided to become concerned for his comfort, and suddenly he finds himself angry. Dont they know that if he intended to use them so, he wouldn't have bothered giving them jobs? That if he wanted mindless, unfeeling machines, he would have sucked the souls out of all of them and filled the gaping, bloody, tooth-torn holes with his own essence and will? Can't they see how big he is, compared to them? Don't they know how easy it would be?)
(...When he cradles them in burnt, bileous ichor, can't they feel it?)
---
When Nightmare backs away, maybe his men mistake that for a discomfort with the positivity, if they themselves are aware of the feelings at all. After all, monsters are used to loving and being loved in absolute, with absolute ease. Maybe, Nightmare thinks, they cannot recognize a love that doesn't burn straight through.
Maybe he stays in his office.
Nightmare has plenty of work to do, after all, since his blasted brother woke up seemingly stripped of all capacity for critical thought, blind to the roles they had inherited upon their mother's death and blaming Nightmare — only a bit less than half-rightly, mind you — for the cursed hands of cards they now dealt with.
And here, at least, there are only fragile things worth crushing.
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im glad that instead of trying to change himself to be the person sonic wants him to be, nine fires back here and demands the recognition and respect he deserves as an individual separate from the one sonic knows. he’s done it repeatedly through both seasons and im ridiculously proud of this little 8-year-old for having the gumption and resilience to stand up to someone he clearly wants acceptance from bc that’s an extremely hard thing to do at any age. but nine is such a strong kid and he knows it’s his right to be treated as the person he is and not the person sonic wants him to be.
and i do like that we see a look of realization and regret on sonic’s face here— it says a lot. namely that sonic hasn’t meant to undermine nine’s identity. sometimes you just hurt ppl without meaning to and sonic has clearly done that by being so dismissive of the fact nine is a person wholly disconnected from the tails he knows. he even goes so far in this moment as to try and make nine feel bad for not being more like his tails.
that’s a cruel and manipulative thing to do and i think we’re seeing sonic begin to understand that he really hurt this poor kid without realizing it.
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realised. dean is the perfect viewer avatar for a horror show. he gets to be both the action hero and the quippy, self-aware wiseguy who knows he's in a horror show. he provides a safe point; a comfortable power fantasy for you to experience a story through. he's ash in the evil dead. he's a gunslinging tough guy, and you get to see those moments where heroism sits on his shoulders like an ill-fitting leather jacket. and even when he gets his turn at being captured and victimised by the narrative, it's filtered through this mythic lens first. he's the tormented hero; tortured by villains, tortured by the constraints of his role. yeah he gets bruised, beaten bloody to a pulp, torn to shreds and killed, but his perception of reality never gets thrown into serious doubt (unless it's played out as a gag). the narrative valorises his sense of right and wrong, because that's what heroic stories do. their heroes provide moral center, regardless of how we might judge them. the lines dividing hero, anti-hero, and villian are paper thin, and dean isn't truly ever allowed to be ambiguous. and the hero always wins in the end, even when he dies.
meanwhile sam is the abject object of the horror show, a character who gets trussed up, chased, tied up, ripped apart, cut into, possessed, exploited, manipulated and psychologically hounded. he's carrie covered in pig's blood. he's the marginal person people are cheering on either to die - or to live past it all. he gets his turn at playing both movie monster and victim, always occupying the liminal space between both. abject horror lives within him. he's violated with demon blood, he consumes demon blood. he hates halloween because he vomited his guts up in front of a room of normal children. he will never get to be normal, he's designated the freak on multiple levels, but most significantly, by the way his narrative frames him. he's living inside a world that is at its core, fundamentally frightening and horrifying - full control over himself and his surroundings is always slipping away, just beyond his reach. his grip on reality and the world around him gets thrown into question by the story consistently. what's right? what's wrong? what's real? what isnt? the narrative punishes him - because that's what happens to you when you're living in a horror. he can never run away from his nightmare reality, it catches up to him like a curse nipping at his heels. the only way out for him is through the punishing fire. in order to survive, he's required to be pushed to the absolute brink of instability; emotionally, physically and mentally. he emerges out the other end, barely holding it together but somehow alive - like the bloody final girl, changed irrevocably by what she's experienced.
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