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4littlefishies · 17 days

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The Eighth of September - The Last Chocolate Cream Puff

satoru gojo x suguru geto

warnings: none :)

wc: 10k

previous chapter here!

Both Satoru and Suguru sleep like rocks throughout the night, waking up the next morning virtually unmoved from the position they fell asleep in. Suguru is the first to stir, the late September morning sunlight from outside dully making its way in through the cracks between curtains; not enough light to force them awake, but enough to light the room just enough to see. He yawns as he blinks his eyes open, not sure what time it is. Lifting his arm off of where it rests over Satoru’s waist, he rubs sleep from his eyes and looks up at the ceiling before turning his head to look at a still sleeping Satoru.

White tufts of hair stick up all over his head, slightly messy from sleep. He looks so peaceful like this; not causing any trouble, not making any noise, just lying there breathing almost inaudibly. His breath slowly comes and goes through his nose, his chest expanding contracting ever so slightly along with it. His right arm is underneath the pillow while his left arm wraps over the top of it, his fingers just barely touching his own arms as they come together around it, hugging it in his sleep. His face is pressed into the light grey silk pillowcase, his light pink lips pressed forward in a slight pout, putting a soft smile on Suguru’s face. Suguru yawns silently again as he props his head up on his elbow, looking down at his husband and just enjoying how tranquil he looks while he’s sleeping. His eyes wander towards the few faint purple teeth marks left on his neck from the night prior. He can’t help but lean himself forward and press a soft kiss to the one most accessible to him, doing his best not to wake Satoru as he does so.

Rolling over, he decides to let Satoru sleep a bit longer while he gets up for the day. He picks up his phone to see a text from Shoko about an hour earlier.

‘We’re heading home, thanks again for ur guest room :)’

He thumbs up the message as he stands up from his side of the bed, brushing his hair back and out of his face with his hand as he heads towards the bathroom.

It was nearly 11, but he decided that he would make breakfast for when Satoru eventually woke up, which shouldn’t be too long from now. After quickly brushing his teeth and hair, he clips it up and out of the way before pulling on a shirt and heading out to the kitchen to get started on making some okonomiyaki. He had been thinking about it since Wednesday and finally had the will to do it come Saturday morning.

He starts by first making himself some coffee. When they had gotten back from Fukuoka, Satoru wanted to celebrate Suguru officially starting his new job, so he treated him to a brand new espresso machine. Since meeting Satoru, Suguru’s coffee routine had gone from slightly more elaborate than the average person’s to now almost seeming just outright pretentious and overly opulent. Satoru had done plenty of research, only wanting the best for Suguru, so of course he had everything that he needed to make an artisanal coffee, no matter what kind he wanted. He weighs out the perfect 18 grams of beans and funnels them into the grinder, looking over his shoulder to make sure that he closed the bedroom door before he turns it on, not wanting to wake his still sleeping husband. Next, he dumps the grinds into the portafilter before tamping them down. After putting a small espresso cup under the spout, he pulls the shot and heads over to the fridge to get his milk. It was a somewhat long process, but he enjoyed it as part of his morning routine. Some mornings, when he was feeling lazy, he would just use his trusty old chemex, but most days, he looked forward to making himself a fancy drink.

This morning, he decided on just a simple latte, working on steaming the milk while his shot finishes dripping into the glass beneath the spout. He picks out one of the many mugs from the cabinet and pours the shot in before pouring the milk on top, doing his best to make a swirly design with it as it fills up. He hums happily to himself, seeing what looks like a heart sitting in the design.

“Nice.” He says softly to himself, admiring his work before cleaning up after himself. He carefully picks up the mug and takes the first sip, being mindful as to not burn himself as he does so. He closes his eyes at the flavor, happy with his work.

After savoring the first few sips, he sets his mug on the counter and starts prepping to make breakfast. He gets all the ingredients out of the fridge and spreads them out on the counter to make the okonomiyaki. It doesn’t take him long to mix everything together and get it cooking in a pan, skillfully flipping the first one once it’s golden brown on the bottom. After he finishes a few more and gets them set aside on a plate, he heads back into the bedroom to see if Satoru is awake yet.

As he predicted, Satoru was still fast asleep in the same position that he was in when Suguru woke up about a half an hour ago. He smiles, looking at the slow rise and fall of Satoru’s back as he sits down on the edge of the bed right next to him, resting his hand on his back and rubbing large slow circles. Leaning over, he whispers as to hopefully not startle him awake.

“Satoru.” He coos sweetly in his ear. “I made breakfast.”

“Mmmm.” Satoru groans, his eyes still closed as he lays there unmoved. Suguru chuckles lightly and leans over to press a kiss to the back of his shoulder before standing back up off of the bed.

“It’s ready for you whenever you decide to get up.” He says softly before turning to head back out to the kitchen, wanting to try the ones he had already made.

He grabs a plate from the cabinet and puts one of the circular shaped okonomiyaki on it. Grabbing kewpie mayo and Okonomi sauce, he finishes it off with the two and finally tops it with some shredded nori and a sprinkle of sesame seeds. He sits down at the island and takes the first bite before quickly regretting it, realizing how hot it still is as he tries not to burn his mouth by holding it open and inhaling with a, “Hah- ha- ha,” fanning his mouth and waiting for it to cool down slightly before he continues chewing.

“You’re supposed to let it cool off before you stick it in your mouth.” He hears Satoru say as he joins him in the kitchen after he emerges from the bedroom.

“Shut up.” Suguru retorts after swallowing.

“It smells super good, sweetcheeks. Thank you for making breakfast.” Satoru says, ignoring his response and coming over to meet him for a quick kiss before grabbing a plate of his own. “Did they already leave?” He asks, his head motioning in the direction of the guest bedroom.

Suguru chuckles at the nickname as he nods his head, cutting off another piece, but letting it cool down a little bit this time. “Yeah, they left before I even woke up.” He blows on it for a moment before popping it into his mouth, not scalding the inside of his mouth this time.

“You didn’t make me any coffee?” Satoru teases lightly, grabbing an okonomiyaki for himself and topping it off with the same sauce and sesame seeds just as Suguru did to his.

“Do you want me to?” Suguru asks, looking up from his plate at Satoru who stands across the island from him.

“Nah, I’m just messing with ya.” Satoru rounds the counter and sets his plate down, sitting on the barstool next to Suguru. They both have their breakfast, unsurprisingly not leaving any leftovers behind. “So…” Satoru starts, sounding like he’s about to ask for something.

“So?” Suguru asks, waiting for him to finish what he’s inevitably going to say.

“Do you wanna go see the house today?” Satoru asks, picking up his plate, as well as Suguru’s and taking them over to the sink to lightly rinse them before sticking them neatly into the dishwasher. Suguru smiles down at the countertop before looking up at Satoru where he stands, leaning on his elbows on the other side of the island.

“Baby, we can’t just show up and expect to be let in.” Suguru says, still sipping on his coffee, although the mug is just about empty.

“I know,” Satoru responds, walking back around to stand next to Suguru, leaning on his elbows once again with his chin in his palm. “That’s why I got us an appointment.” He says with a sly smile on his face.

Suguru’s jaw drops open slightly, surprised to hear what he just said. “You did?” He furrows his eyebrows, baffled by his response.

“I did.” Satoru responds, his smile just as cunning as his attitude. “We need to get ready because it’s at 2 and I don’t want us to be late.” Suguru is left slightly dumbfounded at this information, his mind racing, trying to decide when Satoru could have done this.

“For today? When did you even-”

Satoru nods his head, cutting off Suguru’s question before he can finish. “Yesterday, while you were busy working and I was lying on your couch; It’s surprisingly very easy to just go tour a house.” He says, standing next to where Suguru sits against the island and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“And you-”

“No more questions! We’re going to see it and we’re going to love it and we’re going to buy it, okay?” Satoru cuts him off once again, trying to direct him towards the bedroom so that they could get ready and get on their way.

After they both take showers, washing off the groggy feeling lingering from the night before, they each decide what to wear, wanting to dress somewhat nice for the occasion. Suguru picks out a pair of light grey pants and a soft blue button up with a white tshirt underneath, opting to leave the button up open and roll up the sleeves. Satoru goes with black pants and a white tshirt as well, but adds a dark green quarter zip on top, wanting to stay warm out in the cool fall weather.

“You look cute.” Satoru says as Suguru comes out of the closet, pulling the button up on and pushing up the sleeves.

“So do you.” He says, smiling at Satoru’s compliment. “Ready?” He asks, seeing that Satoru’s ready and is just sitting at the foot of the bed petting Shiro. He stands up with a nod of his head and the two of them head towards the front door, pulling on their shoes before heading out and down towards the elevator.

“It looks like it’ll take us about an hour to get there.” Satoru says, looking at the map he already has pulled up on his phone. “But that means we’ll be early, so that’s good.”

“I still can’t believe it was that easy for you to get us a tour.” Suguru says, shaking his head as the doors open to an empty elevator. He presses the button to get down to the garage as the doors slowly slide shut.

“I just filled out the form, it really wasn’t difficult at all, actually.” Satoru says, resting his elbow on Suguru’s shoulder. The elevator descends a few floors before stopping and letting a few more people on. They stand silently in the elevator until it opens once again down in the parking garage letting everyone out. After they get to Suguru’s car, Satoru immediately plugs his phone in, putting the directions up on the screen before picking out a song to start their hour-long trip.

“You didn’t have to talk to anyone?” Suguru asks, picking up the conversation where they left off in the elevator.

“Nope. Just got the confirmation email and then someone named Tanaka reached out saying we could come today at 2.” Satoru explains, looking back through his email.

“Did they say anything else?” Suguru asks as they pull out of the parking garage and onto the street, heading in the direction the gps is telling him to go.

“Nope, except for that we should park in the garage when we get there, it’ll be open for us… They’re probably pretty busy, you know?”

“Hmm.” Suguru hums, nodding his head in agreement. Once they get onto the highway, Satoru grabs one of Suguru’s hands from the wheel, fidgeting with his fingers for a moment before resting it down on his leg. Suguru chuckles lightly. “If you want me to rest my hand there you can just tell me, baby.” Suguru says with a smile, looking over to his husband for a second before focusing back on the road in front of him.

“I know, but I can also just play with your fingers and do it myself.” He responds, continuing to gaze down at the way Suguru’s fingers look spread out over his thigh. Seeing the obsidian black ring around his ring finger puts a smile on Satoru’s face. “I really hope we like the house as much as I think we’re going to.” He says, looking over to watch Suguru’s face as he focuses on driving. Suguru gives his thigh a squeeze with a smile spreading on his lips.

“I bet it’ll be even better in person, don’t you think?” Suguru asks, thinking back to the pictures that he’d looked at with Satoru. It looked absolutely perfect; he could already see them living there just through the pictures on the small screen.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Satoru says, resting his own hand down on top of Suguru’s and letting out a sigh as they continue down the highway.

As they expected, they’re about 15 minutes early, so instead of just waiting, they decide to drive around the surrounding area to see what the neighborhood looks like. The houses all look beautiful, many of them having gates at the front, hiding most of the house just from the road. The higher up into the hills they go and closer they get to the house, the more excited and restless Satoru starts to feel.

“Are you excited?” Satoru asks, unable to sit still in his seat after the hour-long drive.

“Of course I am.” Suguru responds, giving Satoru’s leg a pat.

“Aren’t you gonna ask if I’m excited?

“I don’t think I need to ask. You’re practically ready to jump out of the car.” Suguru responds with a slight chuckle. Satoru smiles at him as they finally pull up to the house and into the open garage just past the short driveway. It doesn’t look like much from the street, a large stone façade and a couple trees amongst vertical light colored wood louvers hiding most of the front of the house. He’s practically giddy with excitement as the car shuts off and they step out. Suguru walks around the front of the car to join Satoru, grabbing onto his hand as they walk through the open door to an outdoor set of stairs. After heading up the stairs they’re met with what can only be the black set of front doors.

“Do we knock, you think?” Satoru asks, looking over at Suguru who’s already reaching forward to ring the doorbell. He presses it and looks back at Satoru with a smile, excited for what’s to come. “Good call.” Satoru says as he nods his head with a smile still on his face as they hear footsteps approaching from the other side of the door and the doorknob turning. He gives Suguru’s hand a squeeze as the door is pulled inward and a woman in a cream colored sweater and olive colored pants is standing there with a smile.

“Hello! Welcome, welcome!” She says with a smile, sticking out her hand to shake each of theirs. “You must be Geto-sama. I’m Yumi Tanaka, it’s a pleasure to meet you both.”

“Very nice to meet you, Tanaka-san.” Suguru says as he shakes her hand with a smile. “I’m Suguru, this is Satoru.”

“Nice to meet you.” Satoru says with a similar smile as he shakes her hand.

“I’m glad you made it here alright.” She says, stepping aside and allowing the two of them to step past her inside. As they take off their shoes, both Satoru and Suguru are already looking around the entryway in awe, finally seeing the house that they’ve just been looking at through pictures. Seen through the entry hallway is a large floor to ceiling window that lets the light from the back garden inside. “I can give you two a quick tour, and then you’re welcome to look around on your own if you’d like. I don’t have any other tours today, so you can take your time looking around.” She explains, looking between the two of them with a polite smile. The two men give her a nod in response, smiling at each other when she turns around to lead the way. Satoru grabs Suguru’s hand as they follow her into the house.

She starts by heading to the left, showing them the office, as well as one of the bedrooms, one of the bathrooms, and then a room with tatami mat flooring and the walls completely opened up to the outside. Going back towards the other end of the house, she shows off the main bedroom, laundry room, and the living room that’s on the ground floor. Once they head up the stairs, they see the kitchen which is attached to the dining room and the main living room. The walls are all sliding glass doors that tuck away into the walls, perfect for letting a breeze flow through the house during the warmer months. Along with the kitchen and living room on the second floor is another bedroom and an outdoor terrace. Finally, they head up to the roof where there’s a shallow pool as well as a deck. The view all around is stunning, Mt. Fuji in the distance and downtown Tokyo far off in the opposite direction.

“This view is beautiful.” Satoru says with a smile.

“Isn’t it gorgeous?” Yumi says, looking back with a smile. “I love when I get to bring clients up here.”

“I would definitely be up here all the time.” Satoru agrees with her, looking back at her with a smile. He can already picture the nights he would spend with Suguru up on the roof, lying on their backs looking up at the stars.

After a couple more moments of taking in the view, they head back down to the bottom of the stairs. “If you two want, you can take some time on your own to look around. I’ll be down in the office right by the front door if you need anything.” She says with a polite nod of her head before she takes off down the stairs, leaving Satoru and Suguru to look around on their own.

“Suguru, this house is perfect.” Satoru says in a hushed voice as soon as Yumi disappears from his view down the stairs.

Suguru can’t help but smile as he turns around to look Satoru in the eyes. “It’s really nice, isn’t it?” He asks, rubbing his hand over Satoru’s lower back as they stand in the walkway between the kitchen and the living room. The feeling sends tingles over his skin, putting a soft smile on his face. The wall of windows lets lots of natural light into the living room and the connected dining room. Satoru goes to stand up against the island, looking around the kitchen.

“I think your espresso machine would look perfect right there.” Satoru says, pointing to one corner of the counter. Suguru walks up next to him, leaning his elbows on the counter next to him with a smile.

“You moving in already?” He teases lightly.

“And we could put Shiro’s cat tree in the corner over there by the window, she’d love it.” Satoru continues, going on about where they would put all of their furniture. “Don’t you think so?”

“I do, baby.” Suguru says, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to the side of his head. “You really love it, huh?” He asks as Satoru continues rambling on about what they could put on the shelves in the living room.

“Of course I do! Don’t you?” Satoru asks with raised eyebrows and wide eyes.

“I do too. It’s just exciting to watch you be so excited about it.” He says with a smile. “Do you wanna go look at the rest again?” Suguru suggests, standing up from where he rests against the kitchen island. Satoru nods his head as they head back downstairs and into the main bedroom.

“Satoru, don’t mess with things.” Suguru says as Satoru leaves his side and goes over to mess with the wall of windows. He accidentally figures out that there are actually shoji tucked away into the walls as well, defeating the need for any curtains.

“Woah!” He says, pulling them out of the wall and in front of the windows. “Do you think these are upstairs too?”

“I bet they are.” Suguru says, walking over and looking at them as well before carefully pushing them back into the pocket that they came from.

“This bath is gorgeous.” Suguru says as he steps out of the bathroom, seeing that Satoru had opened the sliding doors and was checking out the back garden. The large walls of glass were similar to the ones at the apartment, although instead of a busy city 36 floors below, they had a beautiful garden just on the other side. The landscaping looked like something akin to a home and garden magazine. The karesansui consisted of perfectly laid white gravel with a few Japanese Black Pine trees on the border and one in the middle. The larger stones throughout the garden made for magnificent centerpieces, the greenery around them really helping to tie it all together.

“You could sit out here and have your coffee in the morning.” Satoru says, turning around as he feels Suguru join him outside.

“I think it would be too hard for me to leave and go to work if I were to do that.” He says, resting his hand on Satoru’s back as he stands next to him, the both of them admiring the serene feeling of the garden with the cool autumn breeze passing through. Suguru presses a kiss to the side of Satoru’s head before they head back in, making sure to close the sliding door behind them.

After they finish checking out the main bedroom once again, they head back out into the hallway and walk down towards the other bedroom on the ground floor. “It’s nice that the bedrooms aren’t too close together.” Suguru points out as they step inside.

“Yeah, nice for when we have kids, huh?” Satoru asks with a smirk, turning around to look at Suguru with a smile.

The smile on Suguru’s face grows when he hears Satoru’s words. “You think so?” He asks, earning an enthusiastic nod in response from Satoru. “Me too.” He says, stepping closer to Satoru and pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

Finally, they head back into the more formal living room on the ground floor once more. “Oh, sick!” Satoru says, walking over to a piano that sits in the far corner of the room. “I saw this earlier and wanted to check it out.” He sits down on the bench and opens up the cover. “I’ve always wanted a piano like this in my house.” Suguru steps further in and stands on the other side of the piano, watching as Satoru opens up the book that sits on the music stand and sets it back down before letting his fingers feel over the keys. “It’s been a while, so don’t boo me if it’s not great, I doubt my sight reading is what it used to be.”

Suguru tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows, slightly confused at first, not entirely knowing what the sentence that just came out of his mouth means, but when Satoru starts to play the piece that’s on the page he picked out, he understands. He walks around the side of the piano, watching the way his long fingers dance over the keys, hitting every note on the page - as far as Suguru can tell - perfectly. As he continues playing, Satoru scoots a bit to the side on the bench, making room for Suguru to sit down next to him.

“I know you said you played piano as a kid, but I didn’t know you meant like this.” Suguru says with a soft chuckle, surprised at what a prodigy it seemed his husband was.

Satoru turns his head to speak to Suguru, but doesn’t take his eyes off the sheet music, continuing to play as he speaks. “I practiced just about every day for probably 13 years.” He says, not missing a single note from the page. “I’m surprised I can still do this, honestly. I haven’t touched a piano in about five years.” He admits before finishing up the short piece that he’s playing.

“If we get this house, we’re keeping the piano.” Suguru says as Satoru closes the cover back over the keys once again.

“You want me to play for you every day, huh Sugu?” Satoru asks in a sweet voice, only slightly teasing him as they both stand up from the bench.

“If you want to, I’ll listen to you play all day long, baby.” He says with a smile as they head back out into the entry hallway where Yumi is already standing.

“I see you found the piano.” She says with a smile.

“Oh, yeah sorry.” Satoru apologizes with a cheeky smile on his face. “I probably should’ve asked first.”

“It’s no problem!” She reassures him. “Most visitors just tap a couple keys, if anything, so it was nice to hear it actually played for once.” She says with a smile still sitting on her face as she nods.

“Is keeping the piano an option if we buy the house?” Satoru asks, mentally crossing his fingers as he awaits her answer.

“It’s just there for staging right now, so that’s absolutely an option.” She says as she nods her head with a smile.

“That’s great to hear, Yumi.” Satoru says with an excited smile. Suguru elbows him lightly in the side before he speaks up.

“Thank you very much Tananka-san, I’m sure we’ll be in touch if not later today, then definitely some time this week.” Suguru says, turning to look at his husband with raised eyebrows, silently scolding him with his look.

“I look forward to hearing from you Geto-sama.” she says with a polite smile as they all head back towards the front door.

After putting their shoes on and taking one final glance around, the two of them head back out the front door and down the stairs to the garage where Suguru’s car sits. “Satoru, I really shouldn’t have to tell you when to use polite speech, you’re almost 30.”

“It’s fine Suguru.” Satoru brushes off his warning as they open the car doors and sit back inside. He hears as Suguru lets out a defeated sigh at his response. “So what did you think?” He asks, not wasting any time as he plugs his phone in and gets the directions up to head back home. Suguru is silent for a moment as he backs out of the garage. “Sugu?” Satoru asks, looking over at him as he’s waiting not-so-patiently for an answer.

“I really like it, Toru.” He says, his voice sounding like warm honey in Satoru’s ears as it’s coming out of his mouth.

Satoru’s heart flutters in his chest, a smile growing on his face. He wants nothing more than for this to be the house that they live in and grow their family in. “Do you think I should tell her we wanna make an offer?”

“Don’t you think we should talk to an agent first?” Suguru asks, as he carefully drives back through the neighborhood, taking in everything as they head back down the hill.

“Why? Do you think we need to? I mean, I could pay for a lot of it right now if we wanted to.” Satoru says, looking over at Suguru as he focuses on the road.

“Satoru…” Suguru sighs out Satoru’s name, shaking his head slightly. He takes a breath before he continues. “I don’t want you to feel like you need to pay for everything. I want to pay for it too. It’s our home, not just yours.”

“But I want to.”

“Satoru.” Suguru says again, taking his hand off the wheel and resting it on Satoru’s thigh, giving it a squeeze. “I’m paying for at least half.”

“But-”

“No buts.” Suguru says firmly, looking over to Satoru for a second before looking back at the road. “I’m not letting you pay for more than half.” He says, shaking his head as he speaks.

“What if you just pay the deposit?” Satoru suggests.

“On top of my half?” He teases, knowing that Satoru is going to try to do anything to get him to cave. Satoru lets out a huff when he won’t budge. “Baby, we’ve talked about this already. I’m not letting you pay for the whole thing just because you can.” He says, using Satoru’s own words against him. Satoru pouts in the passenger seat as Suguru continues down the street, trying not to smile when he feels Suguru’s hand squeeze his thigh once again. “You can get us some new furniture, yeah?” He suggests, trying to get Satoru to stop his childish pouting.

“You want a new couch?” Satoru suggests, immediately perking up like a puppy at the thought of it. “I think we’d need a bigger one to fit that living room anyway.”

“You can get us whatever your heart desires, my love.” Suguru says, his voice sweet as he picks up Satoru’s hand and presses a kiss to the back of it.

Satoru smiles at the feeling of his warm lips against the back of his hand. “I love you.” He says, bringing Suguru’s hand up to his lips to return the favor.

“I love you too.” Suguru says, a soft smile on his face as he focuses on the road. “Do you maybe wanna go pay the kids a visit?” He suggests, already knowing the answer.

“Sugu, is that even a question?” He asks, changing the directions in his gps to take them to the cafe so that they can hopefully see Yuji and the others. They hadn’t been back there together in about a month and a half. He had gone a couple times by himself, but every time he was there, one of them asked him where Suguru was, so he knew they’d all be excited.

“Do you think they’re gonna be excited to see us?” Suguru asks, smiling at the thought. One of the things he missed most while being in Fukuoka was going every day to see the bubbly pink-haired boy and his more reserved dark-haired counterpart. Of course Satoru missed the tasty sweets that Tsumiki would bake, but most of all, they both missed walking from the office to the cafe every day to see the group of kids that were always happy to see them.

“Of course they are! Yuji’s probably gonna explode from the excitement.” Satoru says with a smile on his face. He can picture it in his mind; confetti falling from the ceiling, sweets everywhere, he might even cry from the surprise of seeing them.

“We’re gonna have to go visit them when we move.” Suguru says, focusing back on the road ahead of him. They went from going to the cafe just about every day for lunch to going only a few times a month on the weekends. Satoru would go occasionally during the week, but much less frequently than he would when he was working at the office just a couple blocks away. Tsumiki was always coming up with new things to bake, so Satoru always had the excuse that he had to go to try out whatever she came up with.

“Definitely.” Satoru agrees, relaxing back into his seat and watching out the window with his chin in his palm as Suguru drives. Most of the drive is uneventful, other than a few comments here and there from Satoru about Suguru’s driving.

“Sweetheart, I could really do without your backseat driving.” Suguru says, his voice sweet as he does his best not to snap at the white-haired menace in his passenger seat.

Satoru has a shit-eating grin on his face, knowing that he’s about to make a stupid joke that will either make his husband laugh or will break him. “Actually, I’m in the front seat.” He says in a very matter-of-factly sounding voice.

Suguru presses his lips together into a straight line and lets out a long breath that he didn’t realize he was holding in. “Look at my face. Does it look like I’m laughing?” He says with a blank stare ahead as he grips the wheel tighter. “One of us has their license and it’s not the one in the passenger seat, is it?” He shoots back, knowing that’ll most likely shut him up.

“Hey.” Satoru says, furrowing his eyebrows and crossing his arms across his chest as he mopes in his seat. “That’s by choice.”

“So you should choose to keep your comments about my driving to yourself, yeah?” Suguru says, making his facial expressions at the road ahead of him, knowing that Satoru sees them anyway.

“You love me.” Satoru finally says, leaning over and resting his head on Suguru’s shoulder.

“I never said that I didn’t.” Suguru says, a slight smile creeping onto his face as they quickly approach their destination. After finding a place to park, they start walking the short distance to the cafe, the autumn sun starting to duck behind the surrounding towering buildings. Satoru grabs onto Suguru’s hand, swinging it as they walk, trying to move more to warm himself up a little in the absence of the late afternoon sun.

Once the front door of the cafe comes into view, Satoru falls easily back into his old habits and lets go of Suguru’s hand, rushing up ahead of him to open the door for him. “Hey, I thought we were done with this!” Suguru shouts after him, hurrying to keep up with him.

“I will never stop running to open up doors for you, Suguboo.” Satoru says sweetly, pulling the door open to allow him in first.

“Thank you.” Suguru says with a smile, his voice soft and his cheeks slightly pink as he walks through the doorway, the bell making a noise as they both step into the cafe. It’s mostly empty sprinkled with a couple people working on their laptops and enjoying a late afternoon pastry here and there.

They head up to the counter and Satoru starts as he always does by looking at what’s in the display case. It’s much closer to closing time than when they’re normally there, so his options are more limited than usual. There isn’t anyone behind the counter, but upon hearing the door ring, Tsumiki comes out from the back with a gentle smile on her face. Once she sees that it’s Suguru and Satoru standing at the counter, she lets out a small gasp, not having seen them in months.

“Hi Gojo-sama, Geto-sama!” She says with a bright smile on her face. She was normally back in the kitchen baking or busy prepping for the next day, so it was a real surprise for her to be the first one to see the two of them. “How are you?”

“Really good!” Satoru says as he’s bent over looking at the lit up display case. “I see you still have some cream puffs!” His mouth is practically watering as he looks down at them. He sees that the chocolate ones are gone and feels a slight disappointment.

“Satoru…” Suguru says, sounding slightly disappointed in his husband and his ability to completely derail the conversation to whatever it is that he desires.

Tsumiki is a sweetheart and of course goes along with it happily. “Yep! Lots of strawberry and matcha ones left today.” She says, looking through the case from the back side.

“No chocolate though?” Satoru asks, although he can clearly see that the tray is empty.

“Actually…” She starts, which makes Satoru perk up, his eyebrows raising in anticipation. “I think I might have one in the back, let me go check.” She says before turning around to go check.

As she disappears into the back, it’s no more than five seconds later that Yuji comes barreling out at a speed that is surely unsafe for where he works. “Gojo!” He yells at a volume that should only be reserved for outdoors.

“Itadori!” Nobara shouts from the other side of the doorway. “Stop shouting, we still have customers!” Her volume rivals that of Yuji’s as she glares at him through the window. The few customers in the cafe take the yelling as their sign to start getting ready to leave, knowing that the cafe is closing soon anyway.

“But Gojo and Geto are here!” He shouts back at her, his eyes wide with excitement as Suguru and Satoru chuckle lightly at his reaction. “Hey guys!” He says with a wide smile on his face.

“Hey Yuji!” Satoru responds with a similar smile on his face. Suguru stands next to him with a grin, watching as the two of them interact.

“I feel like I haven't seen you both here in foreverrr.” He says, drawing out the word as he says it. As he speaks, Tsumiki emerges once again from the kitchen, holding a small box.

“We had one more!” She says, holding up the box which presumably has a chocolate cream puff inside.

“Weren’t you taking this home?” Yuji asks, looking down at the box with the clear panel on top as she sets it on the counter in front of him.

“I can take home a different one, it’s okay, Gojo can have it.” She says with a sweet smile.

Satoru clutches his chest as he hears her words. “Really? You can take it Tsumiki, I’m okay with a strawberry one.” He says, not wanting to take the last chocolate cream puff if she was saving it for herself.

“No, no, no. You take it, really.” She insists, shaking her head as Satoru tries to tell her that she can have it. “Consider it a wedding gift.” She says with a sweet smile on her face as she backs into the kitchen once more.

“You’re the best, Tsumiki!” Satoru calls out after her. “I’ll cherish it even more than I normally would!” He says, despite her already being in the kitchen and probably unable to hear what he’s saying.

“Oh yeah!” Yuji lets out. “You guys got married, huh?”

Suguru nods his head with a smile. “Yep, we’re actually both Geto now.” Suguru says, looking between Satoru and Yuji.

“Wait, really?” Yuji questions. “That’s gonna be hard to get used to.” He says with a nervous smile as he fidgets with the string on his apron.

“Mhm!’ Satoru says enthusiastically.

“And you’ve even got rings and everything!” He says, finally noticing the rings on both Satoru and Suguru’s fingers. They both smile as they hold out their hands to let him see. “Wowww.” He draws out, admiring their simple rings. “That’s so cool you guys!”

“I think so too.” Satoru says with a smile.

“Well… Can I get anything else for you?” Yuji asks, realizing that they’re probably there to get food and not just to talk to him. Satoru picks out a couple more sweets from the case and Suguru orders just a tea for himself. “Alright, you’re all set!” He says with a smile as he hands the box of pastries over to Satoru and Suguru his tea.

“But we haven’t paid yet?” Suguru says, his voice slightly confused as he looks down at Yuji with his wallet already in his hand, ready to pay.

“Don’t worry about it!” Yuji responds with a bubbly smile. “It’s on the house.”

“What? No, no, let me at least pay for Satoru’s sweets, it’s so much.” Suguru says, trying to convince him to let him pay for the box full of them.

“No need! Really. Like Tsumiki said, consider it a wedding gift.” Yuji says with a smile.

Suguru lets out a sigh, realizing that he probably isn't going to win this battle against this very stubborn teenager. “At least let me get a couple more things and let me pay for them.” He tries taking a new approach at it.

“You guys can take everything in this case if you want, but I’m not letting you pay for any of it.” Yuji stands his ground. Upon hearing his words, Satoru’s eyes widen at the possibility.

Before Satoru can even say anything, Suguru turns to him with a finger raised. “Hey. No.”

“I wasn’t even gonna say anything!” He says although they both know that that’s far from the truth. He furrows his eyebrows, looking back down at the case. “Can we just get a few more of the swiss roll slices?” Satoru sticks out his lower lip as he asks, giving Suguru the best puppy dog eyes that he possibly can.

“Of course you-”

“Satoru, we don’t-” Suguru and Yuji start to answer him at the same time, both with a different answer. Yuji backs off slightly when Suguru looks at him with a raised eyebrow, silently telling him to zip it. “Satoru, we don’t need any more sweets, don’t you think we got enough already?”

“If it makes you guys feel any better, we already took everything we want, so the rest of it is probably going to get tossed…” Yuji says softly, motioning back towards everyone in the back kitchen before he steps back away from the counter, not wanting to feel Suguru’s scarily calm yet intimidating death stare anymore.

“See Sugu! They’re going to go to a good home if we take them!” Satoru tries to argue back, gesturing at the display case.

Suguru looks at him, his eyebrow cocked and his lips in a slight frown. “Satoru, it’s food. You’re acting like it’s a lost puppy we’re talking about.”

“Exactly! Just food! So what’s the issue if we get a few more things?” Satoru does his best to persuade Suguru to let him take some more treats.

“I can’t believe you’re a real adult.” Suguru says, shaking his head with a smirk he’s unable to keep from his lips. Although he tried his best to keep Satoru’s sugar consumption to a minimum, that just always seemed to make him push back even harder. With that, Satoru points out a few more things, which Yuji happily boxes up and puts into a bag before handing it over to Suguru.

“Why are you guys here so late anyway?” Yuji asks as Suguru takes the bag from him and lets it hang off his wrist. “You’re usually about five hours earlier.”

“We were actually just coming back from looking at a house we’re hopefully gonna buy.” Satoru says with a smile, excited to talk about it even more.

“A house? Wow, that’s crazy! Did you guys like it? Where are you moving to? When are you moving?” He rapidly fires his questions as he leans up against the back counter with his arms crossed, the teenager now suddenly curious to know everything about their home-buying process.

“We really liked it.” Suguru affirms with a smile and nod of his head. “We’re really hoping that we’re able to get it.” Satoru grabs and squeezes his hand as he says it, thinking the exact same thing.

“Well, I also hope you guys get it if you really like it that much.”

“Itadori!” A stern voice is heard shouting back from the kitchen just before Megumi is seen standing in the doorway, his brows furrowed with an annoyed look on his face. “We’ve been closed for five minutes and you haven’t helped out with anything. If you want to go out with us, you better start helping us clean up.”

“Hi Megumi!” Satoru shouts out, sounding overly happy because he knows how he’ll react no matter his tone. Suguru opts for giving him a silent wave and a polite smile.

“Hi Geto-sama.” Megumi says, thinking he’s only acknowledging Suguru, but instead he’s opened a whole new can of worms for himself.

“Actually, we’re both Geto now, so hi Megumi!” Satoru says extra enthusiastically, waving as he ducks back into the kitchen after quickly realizing the grave error he’s made.

“Hurry up, Itadori.” Megumi shouts from the door before heading back to focus on his closing duties.

Yuji smiles up at the two of them sheepishly, knowing that if he doesn’t get working he’s gonna get another earful. “Well, I guess I gotta go. It was really nice seeing you guys!” Yuji says with a small wave as Satoru and Suguru slowly start heading back towards the front door.

“We’ll be back soon!” Satoru says with a final wave as they make it to the door. “That was so nice of him, wasn’t it Suguru?” He asks, taking hold of Suguru’s hand that isn’t holding the bag of sweets.

“What the hell do you think we’re gonna do with three boxes of this stuff?” Suguru asks, his question lighthearted while looking down at the bag that hangs from his wrist.

“What do you mean? We’re gonna eat it.” Satoru says as if it was the most obvious thing he’s ever said.

“Baby, how do you plan on eating all of this before it gets stale?” Suguru asks, already knowing that Satoru is well capable of doing it. “Actually, forget I asked.” He says, squeezing Satoru’s hand as they walk down the sidewalk back towards where the car is parked. “Do you want to grab something to eat before we head home?” He asks, thinking about all of the various options for food around the area.

“I’m so glad you asked, actually.” Satoru says, already having an idea in his head. He starts walking a little quicker, pulling on Suguru’s hand to get him to keep up. Without even letting Suguru ask where he’s taking them, he starts explaining. “I saw a food cart around here selling buttered potatoes when I was on my run over here the other day, keep up!” Satoru says, his excitement apparent in his voice as he drags his husband along.

“Slow down!” Suguru speaks up after him, trying to tug back on his hand, but that just makes Satoru pull harder, his heart already set on getting himself a potato.

“No can do, Sugu.” Satoru says, turning back to look over his shoulder with a smile on his face. “It’s just right around the corner here.” They round the corner only to see that there’s a short line that they’ll have to wait in.

“You didn’t have to drag me. We’re gonna have to wait in line anyway.” Suguru huffs out as they stand behind the last person.

“You know how much I love these things, Suguboo.” He crosses his arms as he says it, leaning his head on Suguru’s shoulder for a short moment before he picks it up again. “I’m the number two fan of buttered potatoes in the entire country behind-”

“Matsuyama Chiharu,” Suguru nods his head and finishes the sentence for him. “I’m well aware.” He says with a slight chuckle as he jokingly rolls his eyes. It was Satoru’s go-to whenever he needed to convey just how much he loved a good buttered potato. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you’d get rid of all of these sweets for one potato if you had to choose.” Suguru highly contemplates actually making him decide between the two, but ultimately determines that’s a battle that he doesn’t want to even try to fight.

“Good thing I’ll never have to make that decision.” Satoru turns to look at Suguru with a grin as he says it. Thankfully, the line moves relatively quickly and they’re able to quickly get their food and head back to where the car is parked once again.

“You really should wait to eat that until we get home, baby.” Suguru says, watching as Satoru eats his food as they walk, nearly reaching the car already. “It’ll be less than ten minutes.” He assures him, unlocking the car as it finally comes into view.

“Can’t wait that long.” Satoru says, his mouth already full as he speaks. Suguru looks at him, a displeased look on his face.

“You better not make a mess in my car.” Suguru warns, realizing that there’s no reasoning with him any further. He opens the door for Satoru and turns around to see him waiting with a smile on his face.

“Don’t worry, I’m already done.” Satoru says, crumpling up the small bit of foil that they came in and shoving it into his pocket. “Thank you, Gugu.” He says with a beaming smile. Suguru just looks at him in amazement as he sits down into his seat and holds out his hands, ready to take the bag from Suguru. He takes it and sets it on the floor between his feet while Suguru closes the door and walks around to his side.

“You really are just a human vacuum.” He says, shaking his head in slight disbelief as he falls into the driver’s seat.

“You knew that.”

“Yeah, I did.” He starts the car with a smile on his face before leaning over to give Satoru a quick kiss before they start on their way home. The drive is quick, Satoru happily singing obnoxiously along to the music he plays through the speakers and Suguru laughing quietly to himself. “I love you… So much” Suguru says, looking over at the white-haired menace in his passenger seat as they’re stopped at a red light.

Satoru grabs Suguru’s hand from where it rests and picks it up, bringing the back of it to his lips so that he can press a soft kiss to the skin. “I love you too, Gugu.” Satoru says, the corners of his mouth curled up into a smile as he looks over at his husband in the driver’s seat.

Before they know it, they make it back to their building and back up to the apartment with all of their treats from the cafe and Suguru’s potato that he hadn’t eaten yet. Suguru sets the bag on the kitchen island before heading to sit down at the table to eat his potato. Satoru pulls the boxes out of the bag and puts what needs to go into the fridge away, making sure to grab out a cream puff for himself before he heads over to join Suguru at the table while they both eat.

“You think we’re gonna get the house?” Satoru asks, watching as Suguru takes a bite, a smile on his face at the pleasant taste. Shiro walks back and forth through their legs under the table, rubbing her face along them as she walks. Satoru looks underneath at her, reaching down to give her a quick pet as she walks by, meowing once she feels his hand along her back.

Suguru nods his head with a smile as he chews, waiting until his mouth isn’t full before he actually answers. “I think so.” He says, sounding sure of it. “I’m surprised no one else has snatched it up yet.”

“Me neither… Which means we gotta, right?” Satoru says before he takes another bite of his cream puff, looking across the table at Suguru. It had everything they’d wanted in a house. There was plenty of room, a beautiful view of the mountain, it was far enough away, but close enough to everything they’d need. It was perfect in every way.

Taking the last bite of his potato, Suguru crumples up the foil and looks across the table at Satoru with a gentle smile. “You really want it?” He asks, but it’s not much of a question at all. He already knows the answer, and he knows that they both feel the same way. Satoru nods his head enthusiastically, a big smile on his face as he stuffs the rest of the cream puff into his mouth. “I think we should go for it.”

“I'll email Yumi back right now.” Satoru says, pulling out his phone with excitement. Both of their hearts beat hard in their chests, the thought of this being their home racing through their minds. Satoru strats drafting out an email as Suguru stands up from the table, leaning over to press a kiss to the top of Satoru’s head before heading into the bedroom to get changed out of his clothes from being out for the day.

He heads into the closet and drops his dirty clothes into the hamper before picking out some shorts and a hoodie, pulling it on before heading into the bathroom. He lets his hair down and is brushing it out when Satoru joins him, already changed out of his clothes as he’s coming up from behind and wrapping his arms around his waist. He rests his chin on his shoulder and lets his eyes slowly close as he takes a slow inhale, his nose pressing against the skin on Suguru’s neck and the corners of his lips upturned into a smile. “Can I do it?” Satoru asks, grabbing the brush from Suguru’s hand and pressing a quick kiss to the side of his neck.

Suguru nods his head with a gentle smile, turning around to come face to face with Satoru. Their lips come together, both of their hands still on the brush until Suguru finally lets go, letting Satoru have it. They smile against each other’s lips as Satoru lets his hand with the brush fall down to his side. Heading back out to the bedroom, Suguru sits down in the armchair next to the window and Satoru readjusts the other chair to be right behind him.

With his long glossy onyx hair falling over the back of the chair, Satoru runs his fingers through it, making sure that it’s all behind the chair before he starts brushing gently from the bottom. Suguru lets his eyes fall closed as he leans his head back and lets Satoru brush slowly through his hair. The feeling of Satoru brushing his hair was something he’d come to appreciate. The way he was slow and gentle felt like he was at a spa getting a head massage. Satoru smiles as he slowly works his way up towards the roots from the ends, making sure that Suguru’s hair is detangled before working up higher onto his head.

The sun had gone down and the lights of the city were glittering just outside the window. Satoru takes a breath slowly, thinking about his question before he speaks. “Do you think we’ll be good parents, Sugu?” Satoru asks, his words cutting through the silence of their bedroom.

Suguru’s eyes open, looking up at the ceiling as his head is still resting back over the chair as Satoru brushes through his hair. “What makes you ask?”

Satoru shrugs his shoulders, twisting his lips to the side as he thinks. “I don’t really know… Just thinking about it, I guess.” He says, furrowing his brows as he continues brushing, even though he’s been done getting all the tangles out for a while now. Questions like this one weren't anything out of the ordinary for Satoru. He’d ask random little things like “What do you think we’ll look like when we’re old,” or “How many pets at once is too many for us to have?” It always made Suguru smile, knowing that Satoru was thinking about their future together just as much as he was.

Suguru leans his head back over the chair even further, looking at Satoru upside down with a smile on his face. “I think we’ll be great parents, don’t you think?”

Satoru leans forwards and presses a kiss to his lips, his nose bumping against Suguru’s chin, causing them both to chuckle lightly. “How many do you want?” Satoru asks, setting the brush to the side of him in the chair, looking down at Suguru as he still looks up at him upside down.

They’d talked about it before, but this felt more serious. Now that they were about to buy a house, it felt more real to them; like it’s finally a feasible possibility. “I feel like two is a nice number, don’t you?” Suguru replies. He realizes that Satoru is done brushing his hair and lifts his head up once again. He turns his chair around so that he’s now facing Satoru, the two of them sitting at the window, looking out at the lights as they talk.

“I was actually thinking ten, but two is a good start.” Satoru says jokingly, pulling a breathy laugh from Suguru.

“I think ten is a bit much.” Suguru says with a chuckle, clasping his fingers together in front of his stomach as he sits back in his chair. “Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Satoru agrees with him, knowing that he wasn’t actually serious. “We’d have to buy a much bigger house if that was the case.”

“Exactly.” Suguru agrees, glancing over to where Satoru sits in his chair, his arm resting over the side with his hand dangling freely. He reaches out and grabs Satoru’s hand, playing with the silver ring that circles his ring finger with a smile. “You emailed Yumi back?” He asks, breaking the comfortable silence in the room.

Satoru nods his head with a gentle smile, standing up from his chair and plopping himself down in Suguru’s lap. He wraps his arms around the back of his neck and pulls himself closer, resting his head against Suguru’s. “Yep. She probably won’t respond until tomorrow, but I’m excited to hear back.” Suguru’s hand snakes underneath his shirt to rub slowly over his warm skin as they sit there for a moment, just taking in each other’s presence in the soft warm light of their bedroom.

Looking down at Suguru’s face for a moment, a smile sits on Satoru’s lips before he leans in for a tender kiss. Their movements are slow as they come together, their soft lips pressing against each other’s in a way that sends warm tingles all throughout both of their bodies. Suguru brings his free hand up to cup underneath Satoru’s jaw, holding this face with a warm hand.

“Can I ask a favor of you?” Suguru whispers, their lips just inches apart from each other.

Satoru smiles down at him, bringing his own hand to cup under Suguru’s jaw, mirroring the position that he’s in. “Anything for you, my sweet.” He says with a soft smirk, wondering whatever it could be that his husband is asking him to do in such a sultry tone of voice.

Suguru presses one more kiss to Satoru’s lips, smiling against them before pulling back once again to ask his burning question in an alluring whisper, his eyes half lidded as he stares into Satoru’s bright blues. “Would you go out to the kitchen and bring me back one of those cream puffs?”

chapter 4

#satosugu #stsg #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #geto suguru #suguru geto #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #office au #4littlefishies #the eighth of september #the 36th floor #alternate universe #non jujutsu au #fluff #jjk smut #domestic fluff

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redwinterroses · 1 year

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I like to do this grounding exercise I jokingly call "go touch grass" but honestly it's... almost exactly that.

First you need to go outside. It doesn't have to be far, it doesn't have to be "in nature" -- just somewhere with a bit of wind and sky. A parking lot is as good as a pasture. Make sure you're safe and aware of your surroundings, that you're not about to get run over by a cow or eaten by a moving van.

Close your eyes. Become aware of the surface of your skin. Can you feel the wind on it? Can you feel how it's stronger on one side of your nose and there's a bit of a lee on the other cheek? Can you feel that strand of hair against your neck? Is there sunlight? Feel how you can actually register the heat of it wherever it touches. Maybe the wind competes with the sunlight. Maybe it's cloudy. Maybe there are tiny raindrops that hit your skin. Feel it.

Look down. Really look, like you're five years old again, looking for Special Rocks. Find a bug and follow its path across the pavement. Look at the pattern in the gravel, the way it piles up against the side of your foot. Grind your toe into the ground a bit, see how you cause a mountain range to appear in the dirt. Look at the individual blades of grass, and that dead leaf -- look at its delicate veins. See the little tufts of fibers on the heads of the grassy weeds and how they tremble at the slightest breeze. You can crush them underfoot if you want to -- they'll grow back. Smell the green scent of the broken stems, and then look at how many thousands more blades of grass there are around you, unperturbed.

Look up. See the sky, through the branches or between buildings or over your neighbor's roof. Are there clouds? Look at the way the light filters through them. Tilt your head to the side and see how changing your perspective can heighten your understanding of the shadows. Is there a plane flying over? Maybe a bird? Watch it until it's out of sight. Maybe there are stars. Look closely at their shifting colors and try to name them -- is it blue? or red? or something that's neither?

Listen. Take in one by one the sounds of distant traffic, of a neighbor's washing machine, of the kids next door or the dog three doors down, the birdsong across the creek, the squirrel chittering in the maple tree. Single the sounds out one by one and really listen to them, the way you'd listen to a new song that you're trying to understand the words to. Lick your lips and listen to the sound your jaw makes when you move, or the brush of your hair against your ear, the sound your jeans make as you walk, the crunch of dry grass underfoot or the sksh-sksh of gravel.

Take in every sense with deliberate intent. Focus on your skin, on the tips of your fingers brushing against a brick wall or clasping a porch rail or just rubbing the cloth of your shirt between them. Feel how the air moves over your arms. Listen to the sound of it and the sounds of the world moving around you, whether it's a busy downtown or a rural driveway. Wiggle your toes inside your shoe and be aware of how the pressure changes as you move them. Walk and try to register each shifting muscle as your feet bend, legs picking up and setting down again.

I have bad anxiety -- some weeks worse than others. I've taken to going on a walk every day during my break at work and doing this process as I go. It never fails to make me feel more solid and grounded, and while I've never had much luck with straight meditation, I think this comes pretty close.

You are real, you exist, the world is moving at its proper pace, and all around you life is blooming and growing and shifting and becoming.

"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."

#redwintertalks #anxiety relief #mindfulness #not mcyt #long post

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ofstoriesandstardust · 2 years

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lights will guide you home (p.m.m.)

a/n: this is the if i stay!au i never intended to actually write, but it feels like a long time coming. this is not same mistakes-verse canon but an AU that takes place inside the same mistakes universe? does that make sense? anyways, there’s a playlist for this fic and um i think i’m gonna go sob now

summary: “If you want to go, I need you to know that it’s going to be okay.”

Or: Maverick says goodbye.

title comes from coldplay’s “fix you”

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist | same mistakes-verse

warnings: hurt/no comfort, heavy angst, major character death, car accidents, hospitals, ventilators, mentions of giving birth, rebel as a baby, blood, do not drive while under the influence, hit and run, medical inaccuracies, mentions of the afterlife, mentions of canon deaths, mentions of an afterlife, i think i broke the angst meter,

word count: 6.1k

tears stream down your face/when you lose something you can not replace

It’s quiet in the room. Barely lit. The only sound comes from the machine in the corner, from the ventilator keeping his daughter alive, the steady beeping of the machine measuring her heart rate.

He sighs, letting go of her hand and bringing his arm to rest on his knees. His head hangs down, his hands coming up in the gesture of a prayer.

He knows in his heart what he needs to do.

So he steels himself, searching for the strength to be brave just one last time, and be the father she needs him to be.

He takes a deep breath, taking her hand again as he shifts up to brush some of her hair away from her face. He allows his fingers to trail over her face, trying to memorize the way it feels under his calloused fingertips.

He squeezes her hand, hanging his head once more.

“If-” His voice gets caught in his throat and he has to cough to clear it.

Be brave, one more time.

He swallows, nodding to himself.

“If you want to go, I need you to know that it’s going to be okay.”

He remembers the first time he held her so clearly.

Maybe now more than ever.

He remembers how quiet it had been in the nursery. It was late at night and he shouldn’t have been there. But Natalie’s birth had been so stressful and chaotic that the nurse must have taken pity on him, letting him in to hold his daughter.

He remember reaching out for her little hand, so small and tiny and fragile.

He remembers the fear that had struck him cold.

He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t ready to be a father. He barely knew how to keep himself alive, why Goose and Carole trusted him Bradley was beyond him.

Deep down, he knew that wasn’t true. He’d go to the ends of the earth for the littlest Bradshaw. His buddy.

Even in her sleep, she’d wrapped her fingers around his own, nuzzling closer to his touch. His heart clenched at the movement, feeling an overwhelming sense of love come over him, quickly replacing the fear.

He reached down, gingerly picking her up. He was afraid he’d wake her but all she did was hum as he gently pulled her to his chest. He held her over his heartbeat, slowly rubbing his hand up and down her back.

She was so small.

“Hi baby.” He whispers. “It’s your Daddy. It’s late right now, so we can officially be introduced in the morning, but I just wanted to come say hi.”

She yawns, nuzzling closer to him.

If it’s possible, love blooms even brighter in his chest, a sense of pride swelling in him.

This was his child.

He bows his head, tucking his chin on top of her head, hiding the tears at the fact that Carole and Goose had been right, that all he needed was to see her, and it would all click.

This was his daughter.

Looking down at the little child in his arms, he places a soft kiss to her head before gently putting her back down. He reaches out, tracing his fingertips over the few tufts of hair on her head.

He swears, in that moment, that he would do whatever it took to protect his daughter from harm.

He couldn’t protect her.

It’s all he can think of as Penny drives him to the hospital.

He should’ve been there to protect her.

The night is rainy, thundering against the rooftop of the car as he struggles to keep himself upright and breathing, mind racing with the worst possibilities. Out of the corner of his eye, he recognizes the movement of Penny glancing at him before reaching out to squeeze his thigh.

“She’ll be okay.” Penny whispers. “Your daughter is nothing if not a fighter.”

He knows that, rationally, he knows that.

But for as much of a fighter as his daughter is, he knows that the universe is just as much of a cruel temptress, who cares little about matters of life and death, of love and loss, of the people who are still needed on this earth.

Bradley needed her. Javy too. Amelia and yes, even Jake.

Many loved his daughter, even if she didn't always see it. Many needed her in their lives.

He still needed his daughter.

Getting the call, the worst call, had been like a bucket of ice down his spine.

The hospital hadn’t told him anything over the phone, which only stood to heighten his fears. They’d just asked him to come to the hospital as soon as he possibly could, which only made his worry grow.

The rest of the drive is a blur.

He remembers his breath getting caught in his throat as he stepped through the door, brain flashing back to the night Carole had checked into the hospital for the last time.

Penny squeezes his shoulder, bringing him back to the present. She nods at him, the smallest signs of encouragement, moving her hand down his arm to intertwine her fingers with his own.

You can do this.

He walks to the front desk, the nurse in green and pink scrubs with frogs looking up at him. “How may I help you?”

“My- my daughter.” Penny squeezes his hand as he forces himself to take a shaky breath. “I’m Pete Mitchell, I received a call that my daughter was in a car crash and was brought here?”

The nurse behind the one sitting, wearing all blue scrubs, looks up at him from a chart she’s looking over. “You’re Pete Mitchell?”

He nods, afraid of the look the flashes through her eyes at the sight of him, at the way she softens as she steps closer like he’s a wounded animal who might run.

“Your daughter is still in surgery. When she’s out of surgery, she’ll be moved to the ICU and at that time, you may see her. I’m afraid I can’t give you any more information at this time.”

“How- how did this happen?”

Someone clears their throat, prompting them to turn. An older man is standing next them. He’s wearing a police uniform, holding his cap in his hands.

There’s lines under his eyes, sign of years of laughter and love.

What won’t be for the first time that night, he’s struck with the realization that his daughter may never see those days.

“Mr. Mitchell, I’m Officer John Matthews. I was the responding officer at the scene. I rode with your daughter in the ambulance here and I’d be happy to fill you on what happened. I’d like to wait with you, if that’s alright.”

He realizes too late that there’s still blood on this man’s uniform.

His daughter’s blood.

“We’d love to know anything you can tell us.” Penny says from beside him.

His breathing is coming out in shorts bursts now as he zeroes in on the crimson stain against the Navy blue on this man’s uniform. It feels like he’s underwater as this man guides them to a set of chairs to sit.

A thought strikes him, breaking him out of the panic.

“I’ve- I’ve gotta call Brad. Do you think he knows? He needs to be here, he-” He stands up, staggering as he fumbles for his phone, patting his pockets.

“Mav!” A voice calls out from across the waiting room, sprinting towards him from the door.

His head swings up, barely catching sight of his son before his body barrels into him. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around him, trying to soothe his shaking body.

“They called, they wouldn’t tell me anything, oh God, please tell me she’s going to be okay-”

Bradley pulls away, wiping at his eyes furiously.

“Kiddo, I-” He shakes his head. “I don’t know. She’s still in surgery.”

“Why don’t you have a seat? Officer Matthews was just about to explain what happened, he was the responding officer on the scene.” Penny says softly from behind them. Bradley nods, moving to one of the chairs, pulling Maverick with him. “This is Bradley, her fiancé.”

Matthews gives Brad a small smile. “Hi son. Nice to meet you.”

Bradley gives a jerky nod in return.

Matthews sighs, running his hands over his pants. “Your daughter was hit by a driver who was driving while under the influence. Her car was t-boned on the driver side in the middle of the intersection. The driver had the red but sped through the intersection anyways, hitting her at 80 miles per hour. He took off after the accident, but because he was highly intoxicated and injured and on foot, he only made it a few blocks before officers caught up with him. He’s currently in custody and sustained minor injuries. We have traffic cam footage of the accident as well, so he will be facing charges.”

Matthews sounds like he’s rattling off a report he wrote, telling them the pure facts and nothing more.

“I was the responding officer at the scene. Because of the rain and the force of the impact, your daughter’s car slid on the asphalt and-” Matthews cuts himself off, taking a shaky breath before shutting his eyes. He doesn’t need the officer to continue to guess what happened next. “Mr. Mitchell, I am so sorry. We did everything we could at the scene to give her proper medical attention before EMTs got there. I am so sorry.”

Next to him, Bradley whimpers. “She was just supposed to be picking Harvard up. She was just supposed to pick him up and take him back to his house and come home. I offered to go with her, but she told me to stay in bed, that I looked too cozy with Buddy. I should’ve been there. It should’ve been me.”

Shoes squeak on the floor, causing them all to look up.

Javy is standing there, looking paler and shaky than he’s ever been, even after the time he went into g-loc the first time this group had all been together. He seems frozen in place, fear etched into every inch of his face.

Jake’s next to him, barely keeping Javy from tumbling to the floor.

Behind him, he can see Natasha’s shorter figure.

Bob towers over them, with Mickey leveling out the group.

The shoes they heard are attached to that of Reuben, who’s holding a coffee carrier. His wife Celia is next to him, holding two more.

No one seems sure what to say, all just looking at one another.

“If Rebel was here, she’d say we all look like the Spiderman meme.” Mickey breathes out, a ghost of a smile appearing on his face.

It’s Jake who laughs first, breaking the tension. “Garcia, could you read the room please?” He says through choked chuckles, head swinging back to the shorter man.

Mickey shrugs. “She would’ve thought it was funny.”

“I hate that you’re right and I can not wait to see the look on Rebel’s face when you tell her that.” Reuben says. “Now come on you lot, sit. We’re going to be here a while.” Reuben nods his head to chairs as they follow his direction, gathering around him and Bradley. “I brought coffee for everyone. The smallest of comfort right now, you know?”

The group is silent as they sit, taking their coffee from Reuben and Celia. When Reuben gets to Maverick, he wordlessly holds out the drink before sitting down next to him. Penny has since moved, talking with Celia and checking in with the aviators. He shifts the cardboard sleeve on the cup as Reuben sighs, leaning back in the chair.

“I’m really sorry Mav.” He says, shaking his head. “I’m- I’m a Dad and I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now.”

“That explain the coffee?” He asks, holding the cup up.

Reuben chuckles. “That’s Celia’s idea. She’s holding it together for me, I think. Penny called me and Celia’s first instinct was to figure out how to make it better for everyone else. We fell in love with saints of women.”

He frowns, nodding.

Penny really had been great and things really hadn’t even begun to unfold.

He had no idea what would happen over the next 24 hours.

So yeah, maybe he could kind of understand the appeal of coffee, a small gift of something he didn’t have to worry about while he focused in on the one thing that did matter: his kid.

He isn’t sure how much longer he sits there, tearing at the edges of the cardboard sleeve. The waiting room is quiet, a nervous tension buzzing in the air.

His pilots are quiet, maybe for the first time in their lives.

Callie has appeared along with Billy and Neil. Her head is leaned on Billy’s shoulder, legs propped up on Billy’s lap.

Mickey’s leaned back in his chair, Reuben’s arm thrown over his WSO. Celia is on the opposite side of Mickey, rubbing her arm up and down the man’s shoulders.

Natasha is next to Brad, her hand on his knee. Bob’s next to them, arm slung over Nat’s shoulder as she leans into his chest.

Javy won’t let Jake touch him, it seems. Javy’s head is in his hands all while Jake watches his boyfriend closely.

“Pete Mitchell?”

He looks up towards the voice. It’s the nurse from earlier, the one with the pink scrubs with frogs.

“Your daughter is out of surgery. Dr. Hansley was wondering if he could have a word?”

He nods, standing up from his chair with aching limbs as he walks towards the nurse and down a hallway with her, feeling almost like he’s walking towards hearing his daughter’s death sentence.

The doctor meets them outside of the ICU, a younger man with glasses atop his nose. He almost looks like Bob.

“Mr. Mitchell, it’s good to meet you. I’m Dr. Carlos Hansley, I was the chief surgeon who operated on your daughter.”

“Is she going to be okay?” He asks abruptly, unable to bring himself to do the niceties.

The doctor sighs. “Unfortunately, I can’t guarantee that. Your daughter had many mild contusions and lacerations along the left side of her body. In addition, she also had what is called a hemothorax, which is internal bleeding in the lungs. This was due to the impact of the collision and the subsequent rolling of the car. We had to sedate her and put her on a ventilator to allow for a chest tube to be inserted so as to drain the blood. We also suspect that she may have some brain swelling due to the collision, but our main priority was to drain the blood from her lungs.”

He swallows, nodding. “So, what’s best case scenario we’re looking at here?”

“Best case scenario? We are able to ween the sedation and take her off the ventilator at some point over the next few days, where she will be able to breath on her own.” The doctor pauses, biting his lip.

“But?”

“But there is no telling just how much her quality of life will be diminished, just that it will most likely be severe. As of right now, we are unable to tell the long-term consequences of the collision. Your daughter is physically stable right now. But it’s up to her to keep fighting and I want you to be fully aware that it may not be worth it to her.” Dr. Hansley sighs. “This is never easy to tell a parent but you should prepare yourself for the possibility that your daughter may not wake up.”

His ears begin to ring at the words, suddenly feeling underwater once more.

“Can I see her?”

Dr. Hansley nods. “This is your daughter’s nurse, Jessica. Should you need anything while you’re with her, Jessica can help you and will be attending to your daughter. She will explain all the visitation rules while she is in the ICU.”

He nods as the doctor excuses himself, walking down the hallway.

“You mentioned something about a fiancé?”

He nods, looking back down the hallway where he came from. “Yes, Bradley. He’s her fiancé.”

She nods, gesturing back towards the hallway. “We usually limit visitors in the ICU to that of family, and although not legally married, I trust that he will want to be here. However, it seems that there are many people here who might wish to say goodbye to her, so I just ask that you all behave and limit yourselves to three in the room at a time.”

“Do you think she’ll make it?” He hears himself asking before he can even register that the words have left his mouth.

It almost feels like he’s floating.

Jessica sighs. “It’s tough to say, Mr. Mitchell. I think that your daughter is going to be one hell of a fighter. Why don’t you stay with your daughter if it’s alright I inform her fiancé of her state?”

He nods, starting towards the bed he can see his daughter laying on through the glass window on the door before stopping again. “We’re Navy.” He admits sheepishly. “They’re my pilots, they fly with my daughter. They’re family.”

She gives him a soft smile. “Well then I’ll make sure they all know they’re welcome to come by. I’ll send Bradley down here as well.”

“Thank you.” He whispers.

“Of course, Mr. Mitchell.”

“Pete. Please call me Pete.”

She nods. “Of course, Pete. Now go look after your daughter.”

It’s the waiting that kills him from the inside out, unable to do anything more for his daughter than just wait.

It’s not for another two days before the doctor informs them that they should probably start thinking about taking his daughter off the ventilator and letting her pass peacefully.

Bradley rages.

The next morning, everyone prepares to say their goodbyes.

Despite the open offer to go with them, he keeps himself in the waiting room, Penny’s hand in his.

Callie and Billy go first. Callie only makes it a few minutes before she re-appears, sobbing so hard he isn’t sure she’s breathing.

Reuben and Celia go next, Celia bringing a little teddy bear Reuben’s boys, Elijah and Adrian, had picked out for her to bring her comfort in her last moments.

When Celia leaves, Mickey joins Reuben. The two are in there for almost an hour and a half and he wonders what stories Mickey is telling her before he never gets the chance to. He briefly thinks he might be catching her up on the latest Marvel film she hadn't seen yet, although he couldn’t tell you what it was.

Natasha and Bob go together, although Bob leaves before Natasha does, the girl spending another 45 minutes with his daughter. He wonders what kinds of promises she’s making about Bradley.

“Do you know what you’re going to do yet?”

He shakes his head slowly, unable to meet his girlfriend’s eyes. She sigh, shifting gently in the chair next to him as Amelia disappears down the hallway with Jake to go say goodbye.

“I’ll support you no matter what choice you make Pete.” She says, taking his head and settling her chin into his shoulder.

“I want to be selfish.” He says, his voice cracking. “I want to be selfish and tell her to stay. I want her to fight and I want her to make it. I want to be selfish and keep my daughter with me.” He shakes his head, swallowing as he finally turns to look Penny in the eye. “But she could live the rest of her life in pain. We have no idea what life would be life for her physically if she woke up, to say nothing of her mental state. And I would never forgive myself if my daughter spent another ten years on this Earth in pain all because I was selfish.”

“We make sacrifices for the ones we love.” She whispers.

“I just wish it didn’t have to be me.”

“She loved you Pete.” Penny whispers, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade. “I know that doesn’t make it better or bring your daughter back but she loved you. She knows the sacrifice you’re making for her. You did right by your kid Pete.”

“She deserved more time.”

“I know but you’ve got to be brave enough to let her go. You’re strong enough to let her go and I’m right there with you.”

“I love you, you know that?”

She gives him a watery smile, pushing back some of his hair. He sits there a minute more, allowing himself to feel her love before he stands up.

“Pete, wait.”

He turns as Penny stands up, wrapping him in a hug. “Tell her I loved her too.”

“She loved you Penny.”

“My favorite thing about her. How much love she had to give to everyone.” She squeezes him before stepping back. “I’ll be right here.”

He nods before sighing, turning away to walk towards his daughter’s room. He passes Amelia in the hallway and she stops, giving him a hug. He holds the girl to his chest, noting the way she’s grown up before his very eyes.

“I’m sorry Maverick.” She whispers.

“It’s okay A. She’ll be somewhere better, you know that.” She nods, wiping at her eyes once more before disappearing down the hallway towards her Mom.

He finally reaches her room, pausing outside the cracked door, as he catches the sound of Jake’s voice.

“-you didn’t even like me, you know?” The blonde sniffs and he suspects Jake might be barely suppressing tears. “You didn't even like me and yet you tried so hard for Javy.” Another sniff. “I think maybe that’s what I’ll miss most: your heart. You loved people so deeply, and you tried to see the best in everyone even when they’re just awful to you.”

He pushes the door open a little wider, leaning against the doorframe as he takes in the pilot seated next to her bed. He’s holding one of her hands, head bent over her body.

“You know, I- I would always argue with you just because I thought it was fucking funny. Javy always begged me to stop, told me that one day I was gonna get smacked and he wouldn’t feel sorry for me. But- But I loved that about us, you know? We argued and bickered and got in each other’s faces but you still would’ve picked the phone up at 3 am if I had called.”

Jake sniffs again and as Maverick creeps closer into the room, he can see the fresh tear tracks on Jake’s face.

“Getting to know you has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life. You were a light, Rebel, and the world will surely be darker without you. I’m- I’m sorry it had to end this way and those words feel hollow but I am. I’m sorry for all the things you’ll never get to see. I um- I bought that ring I was showing you.” Jake sniffs agains as Pete’s heart clenches.

His daughter had been helping Jake plan to propose to Javy, he realizes.

“It’s a shame you won’t be here to see it, because he’d want you to be here. He loved you with his whole heart, you know. You two truly were platonic soulmates and I loved y’alls friendship maybe more than you loved it. Because I knew that if something ever happened to me, you’d be there to look after him. So here’s my promise to you: I’ll look after them. I’ll look after Javy, I’ll look after Bradley, and I’ll even be sure to look after Pops. I don’t want you to worry that they’ll be alone because they won’t.”

Jake rubs his hands over his face as he pulls away from her, standing up from his chair.

“There’s some place better.”

Jake jumps, turning to face him.

“Mav, I-”

“She really cared about you.”

The pilot nods, glancing back at her. “She was a good friend. I’m really gonna miss her.”

“There’s some place better.” He whispers, throat closing up as he looks back to his daughter.

He knew what he needed to do.

Jake pats him on the shoulder as he walks past. He stands there for a minute, just watching her before moving closer to her bed, sitting down in the chair Jake had abandoned as he picks up her hand.

He squeezes it, looking over his daughter. He spies the little teddy bear tucked up on the bed, right next to her cheek. It almost makes it seem like she’s just fallen asleep.

There was an ache settling in his chest, one he was never sure he’d fill, the same ache that had settled in his chest when Goose, Carole, Ice, left him.

“If you want to go, I want you to know that it’s going to be okay.” He whispers, looking at her face. He rubs his thumbs over the bruised knuckles, wondering how they ended up here.

She wasn’t supposed to beat him back to them.

She was supposed to live a long, healthy life with Bradley and their dog and everything she had ever wanted.

He decides in that moment that losing his child is more painful than anything he’s ever experienced as his breathing becomes ragged, eyes wet.

“I want- I want to be selfish. I want to be selfish and tell you to stay, to fight, to be here with us. But I know that- that fighting may not be worth what you know will wait for you if you wake up. And I guess- I guess it’s kind of my choice here too, and that maybe I’m taking it away from you. But from the moment you were born, I-”

He chokes on his breath, shuddering as he bows his head. “I promised to keep you safe. I promised I would protect you. And I’ve done a really shit job of it, haven’t I? I’ve failed you, every time, I’ve failed. And I won’t- I won’t fail you this time kiddo. I promise.” His voice cracks on the last word, body overcome with sobs.

He isn’t sure how long he sits there, crying over her body, but the sky outside has darkened by the time he finally pulls himself together, the answer becoming clearer as he looks at her.

Finally, he stands up, ready to face his decision.

He sighs, closing the door behind him as he faces Javy and Bradley. They’re the only two left, minus Jake who’s lingering. He’d sent the rest of them home hours ago, wanting them to get some rest. They both watch him carefully as he pulls up a chair in front of them.

He swallows, the tears refusing to leave even as he tried to steady himself. “I have made the decision to pull her off the ventilator.”

The words are quiet but Bradley’s next are not.

“Mav, you can’t.” His eyes are wide and he can’t bring himself to meet them for too long, knowing he’s got the same betrayed look in his eye the day he found out he had pulled his papers. “Why are you just- why are you just giving up on her? She still has so much fight in her.”

“Bradley, listen to me.” He says, doing his best to keep his voice measured. “We have no idea what it would be like for her if she survived. She would probably never fly again, she could spend the rest of her life in pain. I’m not taking that risk, not when she can go peacefully.”

“No, she- she wouldn’t want you doing this.”

“Bradley, you have to let her go.” He whispers. The pilot stands up abruptly, chair clattering to the floor from the force of the movement.

“No!” He nearly shouts. “No, and I can’t believe I’m the only one fighting for her. I can’t believe you’re giving up on her like this! She’d be so disappointed in you, Mav.” Maverick winces, looking away from his son.

“Brad, I’m sorry but this is what’s for the best for her.”

“No, you’re wrong. I- I can’t be here.”

Bradley turns, stalking down the hallway as he lets out a sigh, rubbing a hand over his face.

“You’re doing the right thing.” Javy says quietly, even as he looks torn apart from the inside out.

“You’re welcome to stay when they take the ventilator out until she passes.”

Javy sniffs, shaking his head. “I can’t. I’m afraid- I’m afraid that if I stay, that’s going to be the only way I remember her. And I- I want to remember her the way I’ve always known my best friend. I want to remember her as the girl with the witty comments and who loved so fiercely. I want to remember her as full of life and not- not laying in a hospital bed.”

He nods, reaching over to grasp Javy in a hug. The man returns it, tucking his head into his shoulder. “You were her best friend. No one can take that from you and it'll always be that way.”

Javy nods, gripping him tighter.

“I’m gonna go- I’m gonna go say goodbye to her.”

He nods as Javy clings to him for a minute more before letting him go, moving to walk into the room.

“Mav?” He turns, catching sight of Javy hesitating at her door. “Would- would you go with me? I’m- I’m scared.”

He follows Javy into the room, shutting the door behind them. He stands, back resting against the wall, as Javy takes her hand. It’s all he does for a while, just looking at her.

“I- I don’t even know where to start.” Javy whispers. “You were—are—my best friend. I don’t want to say goodbye because goodbye means that I have to move on with life without you in it and God, there’s never been a moment we’ve been friends where I thought of that as a possibility. I’m always- I’m always gonna remember you as the girl with the witty comebacks and insane flying skills and some of the best hugs.” Javy takes a shaky breath. “God, I always took for granted the time we had. I thought we’d have forever to get up to stupid shit and annoy our partners and I-”

It’s then that Javy breaks down and he’s known his pilot long enough to know when he needs space. It’s hard on him too, watching all these people who had loved her have to say goodbye to her.

It kills him to think that there might've been a point in her life where she had thought she wasn’t loved so strongly, so immensely.

He walks blindly down the hallways to the nurses station where Jessica sits, typing something on the computer. She catches sight of him, offering him a soft smile. “Yes, Pete? What can I do for you?”

He sighs, leaning against the counter. “I’ve decided I want to take her off the ventilator.”

She sighs and nods. “I think you’re making the right choice here, Pete.” She says, standing up from the desk.

“I hope so.”

They walk down the hallway as she softly explains the procedure to him, how they’ll sedate her so she’ll feel no pain as she goes. She explains that they can be there the whole time so that she doesn’t have to be alone when she goes.

As the reach the room, Javy’s still in there, Jake hugging his boyfriend as he cries. Javy pulls back when he spots them, Jake understanding in a moment what’s about to happen.

Javy leaves the room, Jake offering him a final hug as he exits. He takes a deep breath, sitting down in a chair, as Jessica begins the process of taking her off the ventilator. He forces himself to watch, to hold his daughter’s hand as he tries to soothe her.

Finally, as Jessica leaves, she rests a hand on his shoulder and whispers, “Let me know if you need anything.” He nods numbly, unable to look away from his daughter. She leaves, the sound of the door shutting behind her sounding through the room.

He glances at the monitor, realizing her numbers aren’t going down like they should be.

“Why is she fighting?” He whispers, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles. “It’s okay sweetheart. I’m here, please don’t fight it, please just let go. It’s okay, I’m telling you it’s okay to go.”

He nervously watches the numbers on the machine next to her, wondering if she’s in pain, desperately hoping she’s not panicking and thinking they abandoned her.

“It’s okay, honey. Let go. I’m right here honey, it’s okay.”

The door opens, revealing Bradley, who looks beyond distraught. His hair is tugged in wildly different directions, eyes red as his face is covered in tear tracks. He shuts the door quietly behind him, walking to sit down next to her.

“How’s she doing?” He whispers, taking her other hand.

“Fighting it.”

Bradley grimaces, leaning forward to run his fingers over her forehead and down her cheek. “It’s okay baby. Your Dad and I, we’re right here. Let go. It’s okay to go, please don’t fight it.”

He watches as his daughter’s numbers settle to how Jessica told him they should, almost like she’s breathing a sigh of relief as Bradley tells her it’s okay.

“I love you, baby. It’s okay to go. Go to Mom and Dad, they’ll take care of you. I’ll be okay, I promise. I know you’ll wait for me. Just let go, let them take care of you.”

His throat closes as he watches Bradley say goodbye, intertwining his fingers with her own.

He forces himself to not watch the numbers on the machine that signal her getting closer to passing but instead focuses in on her face, the last few moments he has with his daughter.

“I love you sweetheart. It’s okay, you don’t have to be scared. Ice is waiting for you.” He whispers, squeezing your hand. “He’ll take good care of you, sweetheart.”

In what is probably a matter of seconds, but feel more like a lifetime, she slips away.

The machine gives a steady beep, signaling the end of her life.

Bradley squeezes her hand ever so tighter, his head falling to rest on her arm as a sob overtakes his body. His shoulders are shaking with the weight of everything.

Maverick can’t make himself move. He should go over there, comfort his son, tell him it will be okay, but he can’t bring himself to look away from the sight of his daughter.

She looked so peaceful.

Go to Mom and Dad, they’ll take care of you. I’ll be okay, I promise...

You feel warm, the sound of Bradley’s voice appearing. It’s comforting, hearing him tell you that it’s okay. You want to give him a hug, to run your fingers through his hair, and give him one last kiss. To tell him that you’re sorry it had to end this way, that the two of you hadn’t had more time.

You want to curl up in your Dad’s arms, like all those times you’d done when you were scared when you were little. To tell him you were sorry you had become one more person he had lost.

You hoped they stayed close to each other for the time they had left, that they wouldn’t make it their mission to come join you too soon.

It’s okay, you don’t have to be scared. Ice is waiting for you...

Something lights up inside of you at the thought of your godfather again. As their voices become fuzzy and distant, the warmth envelopes you, almost like a hug as you’re drifting off to sleep.

The next thing you feel is someone strong wrapping their arms around you, a hug from someone who smells like honey and ocean water. Like Carole had.

The warm white clears, revealing a man who looks to be like your fiancé did, if only 40 years before. A man you recognize from pictures and hazy memories. He offers you a kind smile, if albeit a bit sad.

Th person hugging you strokes your hair, whispering words that don’t register as your throat closes up, catching sight of another figure.

“Ice?”

He turns, giving you a watery smile.

“Hi kiddo.”

The person hugging you pulls back every so slightly, giving you a chance to catch the unmistakable blonde hair of Carole Bradshaw. She gives you a warm smile, still not letting go of you.

“You’re safe now. We’ve got you.”

#pete maverick mitchell #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #pete maverick mitchell fic #same mistakes #top gun: maverick fic #top gun: maverick

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mlmvoreconfessionals · 1 year

Note

would love to read some gator shane from the stardew furry mod voring some of the other villagers, perhaps even eating the farmer. WG and/or disposal would be cool too

I can do that, he’s one of my faves.

S.hane groans, putting a hand to his head as it throbs. He's woken up outside, again. With a handover, again. And...with a bloated, groaning gut, again. It takes him several minutes to get to his feet, his gut wobbling as he does. A sickly belch escapes him, the flavor of booze and some kind of meat thick on his breath. "Who was it this time..?" the gator grumbles, still trying to rub the ache from his temples. This is the fourth...or maybe fifth time he's woken up with someone he knows long since flushed through his guts. As if the beer wasn't bad enough for his health, his waistline has been ballooning like crazy since this habit started. Even his hoodie barely fits anymore, a sliver of scales peeking out from under it at all times. He gives his gut the same soothing rub he's been giving his head. It lets out a low groan, the building pressure of an entire person's worth of shit deep in his bowels. At least he woke up fully this time. Last time he had to ditch his pants with the pile he dropped off in it in his sleep and waddle home half-naked, as if he needs even more shame in his life on top of what he gets normally. His guts groan again and the gator winces. "Alright, alright..." Glancing around to make sure he's alone, S.hane drops his pants and squats down. He's still trying to recall last night as thick loaves of shit slide out from his ass and pile up on the ground under him. It can't be S.ebastion, he ate the wolf a month ago. It's not that farmer that stopped by, either, because S.hane devoured him last week. His head hurts trying to recall last night, though, and the gator grunts both from the pain and the force of something solid pushing out of his ass. A bit more shit slops out and he sighs, standing up again and hiding up his pants to give the pile a once over. That's definitely a bear skull sticking out of the top, but L.iam had been the first person he ate. When S.hane recognizes white tufts of fur in the pile, he feels a little sick. "G.us..?" he asks as if the pile of crap can answer him. The bear must have tried to cut S.hane off or something...and the gator got rid of the problem. The same thing happened with E.mil two months ago. His gut grumbles slightly and he pats it a few times with a sigh. Well...he won't be going to the bar any time soon, then. Maybe that's for the best...or maybe he can start getting on the bus and visiting one in the city. S.hane grumbles and starts wobbling back home. He needs to deal with the hangover before he thinks about where to get his booze from now.

S.hane can't sit still as he watches S.ebartion and A.lbert play the arcade cabinet together. He needed it so he didn't start buying beers, but those two had been at it since the place opened, and they kept brushing S.hane off every time the gator tried to tell them he wanted a turn. His eyes keep flickering from the two of them to the bar, and his stomach lets out a soft groan. He can't take it. He stands up abruptly and walks over to the two. Drooling jaws open wide, and without them looking, they snap down over A.lbert's head first. The dragon lets out a muffled yelp of surprise and S.hane starts gulping raveously, wasting no time in devouring the man. His gut bloats out rapidly as A.lbert drops in, pressing up against the machine. With a wet slurp, he's sucking down the dragon's wiggling tail, and he locks eyes with S.ebastian. The wolf raises his hands up, taking a step back. "Y-You can have the game, I'll just--" S.hane grabs him by the hoodie and yanks him forward, into the same drooling maw the dragon just disappeared into. S.ebastion struggles a lot more than A.lbert did, but other than hitting the arcade cabinet a few times, he was guzzled down just as easily. With a final gulp, twitching paws sink down S.hane's gullet, and the gator lets out a thick belch. His hoodie is riding up over his gut now, distinct bulges of dragon and wolf writhing around as best they can in his tank. S.hane gives it a few pats before focusing all of his attention onto the game. He'll let them out once he's gotten a few rounds in, he tells himself. Even as his gut presses more into the machine, and their screaming becomes more frantic as the gator's guts churn harder. Purple scales and black fur lace a few of his belches, but he's too absorbed in the game to really notice. It's when the saloon is being closed up for the night and S.hane is waddling off with a soft, sloshing gut that he recalls what was supposed to do. But a few thick gurgles from the round dome hanging off of him is all the proof he needs that his promise to let them out is going to be a little...different. He'd fulfill that promise on his walk home, heading a bit deeper into the woods to find a quiet place to squat down. A horrible smell fills the air as soft logs of shit begin to squeeze out of him and pile up in a heap. Bones stretch him out awkwardly, coaxing little groans out of S.hane as he drops the two men off. S.ebastian's skull makes the gator whine, but A.lbert's gets a soft yelp from him as those short horns give him an extra stretch. By the time he's done, there's a soft heap of manure slopped against a tree, black fur and purple scales dotting the brown muck. Two skulls sit half buried on top, and S.hane feels a bit of guilt bubble in his gut...or gas, as the feeling passes when he lets out a soft burp. At least now no one will be hogging the machine anymore.

#v.ore #male vore #mlm vore #m/m vore #gay vore #oral vore #digestion #fatal vore #weight gain #disposal #stardewvalleyvore #shanevore #sebastianvore #albertvore #vore prompts #male vore prompts #ask

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a-dinosaur-a-day · 1 year

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All I See Are Ghosts

Hunk of metal, loyal machine Driving through the American dream Fields of nothing, empty grass And all I see are Ghosts

Tufts of scrub and brush and dust Old needless fences turning to rust Shattered food webs like broken glass And all I see are Ghosts

A single bird, hovering over roadkill Eking out a living in rolling hill Where carcasses flow from under tires And all I see are Ghosts No herds of bison wandering past No prancing pronghorns running fast Just simple posts strung up with wires And all I see are Ghosts

I did not find cheetahs lying around No giant sloths touched the ground A Joshua tree waits fro help to come And all I see are Ghosts

Scimitars and sabers long since lost No short faced bears among the frost An empty world slowly becoming numb And all I see are Ghosts

I see herds of cattle, packed in tight No room for smell, or sound, or sight Taking up space, one species alone And all I see are Ghosts

Nothing is grazing upon the grass Nothing is feeding among the mass Nothing is all we've ever known And all I see are Ghosts

An oil rig, pumping up black gold The sight of it makes blood run cold How long must we think we're above it all? And all I see are Ghosts

Empty skylines, no herds or packs No mammoths roaming, leaving tracks I wonder when the last domino will fall And all I see are Ghosts

Did the last Mastodon know As it trudged through the snow That everything was coming apart? Because all I see are Ghosts

I reach my city, twinkling bright Filling the air with polluting light Is it possible for us to restart? All I see are Ghosts.

#extinction #poem #palaeoblr #prehistoric life #sixth extinction #I drove from southern new mexico to chicago and back again and I had an existential crisis the entire trip

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missamyrisa2 · 1 year

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That tease you posted about a supervillian using a machine to tickle unsuspecting guys was very flustering and now I can't stop thinking about that scenario except the supervillian is looking for women and is just sitting back while the machine does all the work for her, teasing her helpless victims as she decides wether or not she's going to keep them as part of her 'collection.' And there's a special roller exclusively to tickle the toys royal buttons,,,,

- 💙

Oooh yes cute patootie 💙 you can run and hide but that machine has picked up the signal radiating out from your ticklish body ~ with a superior smirk the dastardly techy villain watches from her command center, seeing your adorably sensitive tush bouncing as it is cast under harsh spotlights ~ the machine's harsh voice announces that it has acquired a target and is proceeding with capture protocol ~ flexible tendrils snatch up your arms and pull you up like a rag doll~ robotic appendages flip you all around, manhandling and stripping away your clothes as tingly scanning beams wink into existence, drawing over your twitchy skin while the bot processes and sends data back to its creator~

She mmhmmm and oooohs over the snaps over your bodyscans and closeups of your skin as probing tools deploy, brushy tools and cold appendages whirling around your belly, dipping into your navel brushing up your hips and down your thighs pooling behind your knees ~ the cavalcade of instruments stimulate and interrogate your body in a line, poking and stroking and massaging and fluffing ~ down between each toes, a melee around your upper body to test your underarms and inner elbows and neck and face and even in your ears ~ the technomancer villain chuckles and draws a thoughtful nail on the control panel, having read the preliminary results ~ "specimen match 90% likely, request full body probes free" that harsh robotic voice warbles back to the home base~~ and moments later the bot trembles and beeps as new tools deploy with mechanical whines ~ "full body probe approved..."

Your body is handled and moved about again, floating above the city as onlookers snap photos and thank their lucky stars the bot found you tonight instead of them. Robotic hands slip from behind and briskly grasp at your chest, cupping your breasts as circular pads whirl into view. The cups flip up and reveal multiple lines of furry fuzzy material, which begin spinning rapids in opposing directions. You can fight and struggle all you like but the bot has a padded clamp on your midsection with endless flexible tentacles to keep you restrained and unable to resist as the tickly probing pads are brought forth to your royal girly chest buttons ~ the edges seal gently to your boobs and the furry liners begin their work, stimulating in circles with a tiny brush in the center dancing up and down on each nipple~

While you try to fruitlessly to shake the chest tests, the bot begins gently spreading your legs as the next probe is deployed. Scanning beams light up your thighs, moving inwards to catch live results and data for the roller currently spinning its way to your girly area ~ the edges of the tool illuminate brightly, showing off the tiny tufts of feathery fluff all along its surface. The cups on your nipples work earnestly, tickling away both to gather results for those hot spots, and to coax out your lower button. The roller spins and waits, the bot's eyes scan and relay to the villainess, who is now upright in her chair at attention, excited at this prospective new addition to her collection. She moans softly, a finger drawing around her own girly button as she watches your little pearl finally emerge, drawn out by all the erogenous tickling ~

Without a warning, the roller screeches forward, spinning rapidly and allowing the endless line of rotating feathery fluff to work your girly button. Your legs are held taut, unable to close, multiple feeds activate to capture your every move and reaction. You can glance to once side and see a closeup of your throbbing royal button being transmitted to the bot's master. Readings pile up on the data displays regarding your arousal and likelihood to gigglecum. The roller gradually moves up and down, side to side, and comes in from other angles too, measuring all of your reactions as it tickle torments your aching girlihood with uncaring efficiency. Every time your thighs quiver and your body reaches maximum arousal, the roller levels off and retracts, tauntingly tickling the air around your button as the cups slow and robotic hands hold you still for scans through the edge ~

A display slides out and is nothing more than a pair of purple plush lips, smiling with a fierceness that makes your body shiver ~ "oooh yes. This one is a keeper~" her voice speaks, and immediately the bot springs into action, deploying the roller, cups, and tickle tools all over your body ~ you are feathered and brushed from head to toe, tickly sensations crawling from all angles, exchanging frequencies and tactics in a flurry of activity while your buttons are stimulated without stopping ~ The bot runs its "TICKLEGASM PROTOCAL" with hasty efficiency to make you cum and tickle you beyond into the fuzzies, sealing in your hysterical gyrations with scrub brushes on your toes and dusters on your belly ~

Dimly aware your body is still being moved and handled, you awaken in a factory like setting as you are being deposited by the scout bot to be tagged ~ robotic hands hold you like a doll in the air as two clamps fold down and seal over your waist ~ with a vibrating buzz they perform their duty, releasing and leaving behind a brand new shiny thick black waist belt on your naked body ~ which seals and serves as a perfect little handle for the processing bot to scoop you up and take you deep into the villainess's lair to be added to her collection~<3

(sorry I got very carried away with this one ~~ I have sooo many ideas noww ~)

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theriu · 3 months

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I was trolling through my discarded WIPs folder and found this snippet I wrote once for an old story. I really like how it turned out, upon rereading! But I really don't know how I would continue it; it sounds like a good intro, but it definitely takes place in medias res, as it were. 😅 I figured I'd just share it to you guys. Feel free to speculate in the comments! What do you think is happening/would happen next?

(The setting is the Old West, in case that isn't fully apparent! Also, Shray is an alien. Her species was manufactured by other aliens by blending human DNA with an alien reptile. Frank Hopkins is a human gunfighter/bounty hunter.)

----

“You sure this thing’ll work?” Frank asked, fingering the revolver holstered at his side. He cast a twitchy glance out over the desert horizon.

Standing a few yards in front of him was the strangest contraption he had ever laid eyes on: all shiny silver metal and crooked antennae and beeping, lit-up panels. And standing next to the contraption was the strangest person he had ever laid eyes on: a dusky-skinned human woman, except that her arms, legs, and tail resembled some ancient green lizard’s. Not that this phased him anymore. Frank had always been good at adapting to his circumstances, and never in his life had that skill been more necessary than in the last few weeks.

Shrayakal Tremair—or “Shray,” as she preferred to be called—tapped at the buttons that lay beneath the outer panel she had removed from the strange machine. Her long, green tail, tipped at the end by a brush of shimmering white strands like opalescent horsehair, swung back and forth as she replied over her shoulder. “I am sure of very little in this situation, Frank. But if it does, I will be able to go home, and you will not be troubled further by my kin.”

Frank shifted uncomfortably. It wasn’t that he really wanted to see the back side of the young alien woman, but considering how her “kin” had been murdering cattle and almost killed a priest, he had to grudgingly admit that it was the best way.

(Here's a pic of Shray as drawn by Crystal Yates when I won a contest on her comic Earthsong :D She didn't have the tuft of opalescent hairy filaments on her tail at that time, and I always drew the scales as chunkier around where they merge with her skin (almost like a glove), but the coloring on this is boss.)

#river writes #my ocs #shray #shrayakal tremair #frank hopkins #aliens #science fiction #writeblr #short stories #wips

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sharmaandsons · 4 months

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Different Types of Brush Making Machines

Nowadays, there is a booming demand for brush-making machines. With their growing popularity among various industries, looking for the best machines is of utmost importance. Your search for the best manufacturing team for these machines now comes to an end, thanks to our team from Sharma & Sons. We are offering the best brush solution you have ever laid your eyes on.

Being a leading professional company for all brush machines, we have been engaged in research and development for so many years now. Our main goal is to develop the best product machines that come in handy with the latest technology.

Major technical database:

We have a growing technical database, which has been around since the inception of our company. That makes us one of the leading names in the manufacturing field. We have an in-house team, comprising technical professionals and engineers to offer our clients premium ranges of brush machines.

We will develop the entire design range within our factories and will sell the final results to the international and domestic markets.

There is also an experienced marketing and sales team working with us to check out various aspects of customer feedback and sales regarding each consignment.

The types we follow:

Being associated with brush-making machines for such a long time, we have generated and created multiple types of brush-making machines. The differences will help in covering the maximum crowd at the same time and focus on their flexible needs. So, before you proceed further, we would like you to get the detailed information regarding the types of machines we have in store.

2 Axis Brush Tufting Machine:

Available in brand new condition and with the automatic grade, our 2 Axis Brush Tufting Machine is one to watch out for. It has the capability to produce around 2500 pieces in one go.

This machine is able to produce various kinds of brooms and brushes, which will have multiple filling angles by just changing the specified platforms.

It can be easily installed with just one tufting motor head to offer higher speed and cost-effective results in the end.

There are Touch panels and PLC control systems available from this machine with an English display on the top for better understanding.

There are different procedures performed by a single machine, which will reduce hair mechanic technology dependency.

3 Axis Brush Tufting Machine:

If you are planning to create brushed with curved surfaces, then 3 Axis Brush Tufting Machine might be the right option to get from our side. There are plastic brush pieces, which are to be moulded in advance within the available holes. These holes are now vertical to the surface at around 90 degrees and they cannot be tilted at any other angle. The generic brush size is around 350mmx 180mmx 360 degrees. However, we can customize some of the other sizes as per the requirement through our 3 Axis Brush Tufting Machine models.

There are mainly two grippers available holding two brushes on the work table. Under its automatic mode, it has the power to tuff brushes continuously in a non-stop manner.

4 Axis Brush Tufting Machine:

Another interesting choice of the machine while looking for brush making category from our side has to be 4 Axis Brush Tufting Machine.

All the wearing parts and the spare parts of this machine are designed in a standard manner.

It helps in reducing hair mechanic technology dependency.

Our machines have the power to create one, two, or three colored brushes in one go.

Once proficiently installed by our team members, these machines are subject to last the longest with a little bit of maintenance from your side.

5 Axis Brush Tufting Machine:

We have specially designed 5 Axis Brush Tufting Machine for you, which is used to tuff brushes with the help of stainless steel wires. It is always recommended that the plastic brush pieces need to be molded with holes before getting into the machine. On the other hand, the wooden brushes also need to be pre-drilled with holes in them.

Here, the working table is quite flexible and the nylon filaments or the SS wires can be tufted at different angles, which in turn, will look radial.

This machine helps in processing filaments in two different colours, with a maximum length is around 120mm in 5 Axis Brush Tufting Machine.

A hand controller is widely used here to manually enter the hole positions within the program, with one hole at a time.

The best Drilling and Tufting Brush Machine at your service:

We have the best Drilling and Tufting Brush Machine in store for you, which has been a result of years of research from our side. The machine consists of a main motor, which is sprightly procured from Italy and known for its high working head speed. Then you have a premium quality precision filament box, known to offer reliable and stable performance throughout. So, next time you are looking for one such brush-making machine, focusing on us at Sharma & Sons will be a great note to consider.

#5 axis brush tufting machine #brush tufting machine from india #brush making machine #brush making machine in india #brush tufting machine exporter #brush tufting machine supplier & exporter #brush making machine at best price in india #brush making machine manufacturers & suppliers #brush tufting machine #brush broom tufting machine #2 axis brush tufting machine #3 axis brush tufting machine #4 axis brush tufting machine

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pearlsephoni · 1 year

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Spiking Heartbeats: Free Coffee and Tea

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: G

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Relationships: Platonic Karasuno First Years, pre-relationship Tsukkiyama (Tsukishima/Yamaguchi), pre-relationship Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata), pre-relationship Kanoyachi (Kanoka/Yachi), established Kiyotana (Kiyoko/Tanaka)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Hitoka Yachi, Kanoka Amanai, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Osamu Miya, Atsumu Miya, Kiyoko Shimizu, Ryuunosuke Tanaka

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary:

Amanai had always come off as shy, even though she’d been at the hospital for more than three years. At first glance, it would be easy for Shoyo to brush off any stiffness in her body language as awkwardness or discomfort. Yet a rosy pink flush was creeping up Amanai’s neck and rising in her cheeks. Shoyo regarded it with interest. Once Yachi disappeared out the door, he gave Amanai an experimental wink. The blush transitioned from pink to bright red. Tanaka and Shimizu exchanged knowing glances. Bingo.

It's an ordinary day at Ohyama Hospital, until Dr. Hinata stumbles across some interesting new information.

A/N: Written by @r0mantic-era as part of a collaborative series of Haikyuu Hospital Playlist AU fics, featuring the Karasuno first years as the 99s! Originally published on AO3 on April 15th. Further author's notes can be found there.

***

On a bright and early Sunday morning, Shoyo entered the café on the first floor of the hospital in high spirits. Humming to himself, he scanned the long line of customers with the eager, hungry eyes of a scavenger.

It didn’t take long to spot a stubborn tuft of hair sticking out from the head of a familiar, tall figure in pale blue scrubs. Letting a grin crawl over his face, Shoyo made a beeline for his target—snatching up a salmon onigiri from the fridge on his way to cut the line.

“I want a hazelnut latte with soy milk,” he announced, looping his arm around Yamaguchi’s wide shoulders. “And this onigiri.”

Yamaguchi didn’t so much as flinch at the intrusion. “Guess what I have, Hinata?” he sang, waving a hand in front of Shoyo’s face. Pinched between his fingers was a familiar credit card.

“Tsukishima’s card?!” Shoyo pumped his fist. He’d arrived at just the right time.

Yamaguchi’s smile, impossibly, grew even more smug. “I’m buying coffee for my resident and Sawamura. Want in?”

In terms of residents, General Surgery only had Iwaizumi, but Shoyo made a split-second decision to snag drinks for the fellow surgeons in his department. “I’ll take an iced americano for Iwaizumi, a caramel latte with an extra shot of espresso for Bokuto-san, a jujube tea for Omi-Omi…” he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time, “...and a black coffee for Yacchan.”

Shoyo was clocking in ahead of schedule this morning, so making a pit stop by Neurosurgery to drop off a drink for Yachi would be no problem.

“That’ll be 3,900 yen,” Miya Osamu announced from behind the cash register.

“And this.” Kageyama dropped a probiotic yogurt on the countertop.

“Ack!” Shoyo jumped. “Where did you come from? You’re like a ghost! Don’t be so quiet when you walk, Creepy-yama,” he sputtered.

Kageyama shrugged, plucking up the yogurt as Osamu punched the new purchase into the machine. “Have better hearing, then, Dumbass.”

Shoyo playfully stuck out his tongue. “My hearing is—”

“Ah-ah, no fighting in my café. You goons are going to hold up the line,” tutted Osamu, rolling his eyes sky-high. “That’ll be 4,200 yen. Tsumu will have the drinks out for you all shortly. Now get.” After more than a decade, the owner of Café Miya was well acquainted with Shoyo and his friends—they’d made more than a few ruckuses inside his establishment over the years, after all.

Shoyo flashed him an apologetic grin before ducking out of the way and leaving Yamaguchi (or, well, Tsukishima) to cover the bill.

“See you at dinner?” Kageyama asked, uncapping his yogurt. It was a rare day when the friends’ shift schedules left them all simultaneously free for the evening, so the five had plans to meet up at a barbecue restaurant near the hospital.

“See you then, Yama-yama,” Shoyo told him, waving as Kageyama strolled out of the café and towards the lobby elevators.

Shoyo spent the next few minutes scrolling through Youtube to watch volleyball highlights. Yamaguchi, who had wandered over after placing their order, peered over his shoulder as Shoyo skimmed through clips of the most recent game between the Green Rockets and the Black Jackals. He hadn’t had time to watch yesterday with so many procedures scheduled, which was a shame—from the game reel, it seemed like it had been a great match.

“Sho-kun!” interrupted Miya Atsumu, setting several cardboard coffee cup carriers down in the pick-up area. “Your drinks are ready. But do you have any news for me?”

Atsumu, Osamu’s brother and co-manager of Café Miya, nurtured a notorious proclivity for gossip. His penchant for fueling rumors consistently bothered Tsukishima and Kageyama, both of whom complained that Atsumu was the hospital’s resident auntie, but Shoyo was always happy to indulge him.

“There’s a rumor going around that two interns are dating, but nobody knows who,” he provided, lowering his voice conspiratorily. “Let me know if you notice anything, alright?”

“I got you, doc,” Atsumu replied with a wink, handing Shoyo two carriers holding five drinks.

Yamaguchi clicked his tongue against his teeth and grabbed his own coffee carriers with a fond sigh. “Do we really need to be snooping around the lives of our juniors?” he asked, ever-responsible. Then, he grinned. “Well, let me know if you find out who it is. My money’s on Sugawara being involved in some way.”

***

After exiting Café Miya, Shoyo headed up to the third floor and into the Neurosurgery wing. Upon arriving at the department’s staff room, he bumped the door open with his hip and poked his head inside.

“Yacchan!” he called. “I brought you coffee!”

Yachi, who had been midway through explaining something to the two interns rotating through her department, startled slightly.

“Hinata!” Yachi yelped, knocking a stack of papers off the table. The sheets fluttered haphazardly through the air: Dr. Shimizu managed to snag half the pile mid-fall, aided by quick reflexes, while her fellow intern Dr. Tanaka scrambled for the remaining documents just a beat too late and ended up crouching on the floor to gather the rest.

“Sorry, Yacchan,” Shoyo apologized, placing the black coffee on the table beside her. “No milk, no sugar. Just how you like it.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” she told him, taking a massive gulp of the drink. “And the timing was perfect. I actually have to run to a consultation, now, but Kanoka can take over briefing this case for me. If that’s okay?”

Yachi’s third-year resident, Dr. Amanai, closed out a patient chart on the break room desktop and hurried to join the others at the table.

“I’ve got it, Professor!” she agreed immediately, tucking a lock of short, dark hair behind her ear. “And, um, hello Dr. Hinata.”

“Hey, Amanai-chan,” Shoyo greeted easily. Amanai was tall, so he had to look up slightly to make eye contact. “I heard you’re going to be the lead surgeon on an upcoming case!”

Amanai nodded. “It’ll be my first time leading,” she said timidly. “I’ll do my best.”

“I have no doubt it’ll go great,” Yachi interjected confidently, placing a hand on Amanai’s shoulder. “Just like I have no doubts leaving these two in your very capable hands!” The gesture was innocent—the reassurance of a mentor to a mentee—but Shoyo couldn’t help but notice Amanai tense just slightly under Yachi’s touch.

Shoyo regarded it with interest. Once Yachi disappeared out the door, he gave Amanai an experimental wink.

The blush transitioned from pink to bright red. Tanaka and Shimizu exchanged knowing glances.

Bingo.

Shoyo wished he could say that he was a mature man who refrained from meddling in the personal affairs of others, but there was a reason he was Atsumu’s Number One Gossip Buddy.

Sure, the timing wasn’t ideal. Yachi was still dating Maruki Takuto from Dermatology—they’d only gotten together about two months ago, but it truly felt like it had been ages. Ages of Kageyama and Tsukishima agreeing for once and mutually bitching about the guy, that is.

To be fair, Shoyo wasn’t exactly Maruki’s biggest fan, either. Maruki was nice enough to his colleagues and the hospital staff. But Shoyo had a strong feeling that the other doctor had an inferiority complex which manifested as jealousy over Yachi’s accomplishments, and he’d told her so in similar words.

“I’m just seeing how things go. It’s not that serious,” Yachi had assured him. Still, none of their friends could really understand why she was wasting her time in the first place.

Although he would never interfere directly in Yachi’s relationships, Shoyo couldn’t help but be excited by the appearance of a better candidate for his childhood friend. Amanai had a reputation as a kind, fair, and caring member of the staff. She clearly had a tremendous amount of respect for Yachi. Once this Maruki business ended, maybe he’d have to do some meddling.

Shoyo left the neurosurgery wing in high spirits, whistling merrily. Having acquired free coffee and tea, the morning was shaping up to be a pretty good one.

***

Shoyo didn’t give his discovery much thought for the next few hours, swept up in the bustle of his morning cases. He met with patients one right after the other, dissecting CT scans and MRIs in layman’s terms before negotiating treatment paths and scheduling procedures.

At a major hospital in a capital city, consultations often breezed by, but Shoyo liked to think that the person-to-person aspect of medicine was a personal specialty of his. Had he been the best student in their medical school class? Not by a long shot. Did he make mistakes when charting because he could not wrap his mind around the hospital software system? Occassionally. But Shoyo was a good surgeon and, perhaps most importantly, he did his best to make his patients feel safe and understood, before and after their operations.

Even for a gregarious person like himself, the latter was hard work. So, when his break finally rolled around, he opted to chill in the outdoor courtyard rather than return to his shared office with Yamaguchi.

Outside, the sun shone golden through the green leaves of the well-trimmed trees. The soft hum of public conversation filtered past as he shut his eyelids, enjoying the warm weather. And then he heard footsteps approach, stuttering against the pavement.

Shoyo cracked open one eye.

“Um, Dr. Hinata.” Amanai Kanoka took a seat on the bench beside him, a banana milk between her hands.

“Amanai-chan!” Shoyo replied immediately, straightening his spine. “What’s up?”

Amanai picked at the edge of the foil lid of the banana milk with the fingernail of her index finger, smoothing it back into place each time she came close to actually opening the container.

“I…I heard you liked banana milk,” she said after a minute of awkward silence, thrusting the milk into his hands.

Shoyo grinned gleefully, accepting the treat eagerly. “For me?” he asked, peeling off the lid and taking a swig. “Who told you?”

“Dr. Yachi mentioned it once,” Amanai replied, bravely lifting her gaze to make eye contact. “I know, um, you two have been friends for ages…right?”

“We have,” Shoyo confirmed, biting back a knowing smile. He had a feeling about where this was going, but he wasn’t going to put the words in Amanai’s mouth. “So what is it that you needed? Assuming you didn’t just come here to give me my favorite drink for no reason,” he joked. “Not that I’m not honored that our nation’s number one judoka personally delivered my snack.”

Amanai flushed pink. “Ah, how did you know?” she squeaked.

“Yacchan told me,” Shoyo explained matter-of-factly, offering her a cheerful thumbs up.

“She talks about me?!” Amanai blurted, eyes widening in genuine surprise. Once the outburst escaped her lips, she immediately clapped her hands over her mouth in mortification. “Um, I mean…”

Shoyo let his laugh flow free. “Well, it’s a pretty big deal when a three-time Olympic gold medalist finishes her career and then decides to enroll in medical school of all things…but to answer your question, she does!”

Amanai dropped her hands and leaned forward. The undisguised eagerness written across her face greatly amused Shoyo for a split second, who had deliberately refrained from elaborating. Witnessing the way Amanai was so clearly torn between pressing for more information and holding herself back, however, prompted a subsequent twinge of guilt. Amanai was not Kageyama—it wasn’t kind nor appropriate to tease her. Although she wasn’t much younger, she was still his junior.

Ever graciously, he made an executive call to put an end to her misery rather than force her to come clean. “So what do you need? Intel about Yachi’s hobbies? Her favorite restaurants?”

Amanai’s blush, impossibly, grew even more pronounced. “I, I—!” she spluttered, coughing into her elbow. “Um, I…”

“Yachi only ever has good things to say about you and your research,” he added, once she finished wheezing.

Amanai thumped her chest with one fist before sighing deeply. “Am I really that transparent?” she asked forlornly. “I hope Dr. Yachi doesn’t realize.”

“There’s no way she knows,” Shoyo assured her. “Yachi can be oblivious when it comes to this kind of thing. Though I can’t say if that the same thing is true for the interns.”

Amanai pressed her palm to her forehead. “Ugh. Tanaka keeps trying to wingman me in the worst ways, and it’s extremely embarrassing every time,” she complained. “He has no subtlety whatsoever.”

“Well, that’s what I’m here for!” Shoyo cheered. “You can totally trust me to give you the best insider information about Yacchan. Like, she really loves camping, if you need any date ideas. And she finds height attractive.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Amanai covered her face with her hands in embarrassment. “I know. Or, well, I knew she liked camping. She’s the president of the Outdoor Hobbies Special Interest Group.”

“Huh.” Shoyo scratched his chin. Who knew their hospital had an organization like that? Well, it was no surprise that Yachi had found a way to be heavily involved: she was, at her core, an overachiever.

“Dr. Hinata, I…I’ve been interested in Dr. Yachi for a while now, and I’ve been too scared to act. So nothing has changed.” Amanai took a deep breath. “But I really want to give this a proper go instead of giving up without even trying. And I thought you could help me approach Dr. Yachi in the…a way that’s most respectful of what she would want. Since you know her so well.”

Shoyo bit his lip and rubbed his palms along the tops of his scrub pants, unsure of how to proceed. Amanai was so sincere, and he hated to be the bearer of bad news. “Well, it’s kind of on the down low, but Yachi is…sort of seeing someone?” Amanai’s expression plummeted, and Shoyo hastily rushed to amend the statement. “He’s actually a…big jerk! And it’s really not serious. In fact, we’re all rooting for it to be over sooner rather than later!”

Amanai frowned. “Still. I guess I shouldn’t do anything at all if she already has someone.”

“Hey. Just know it’s not going to last forever. Seriously. I think Tsukishima might actually commit a homicide if Yachi actually got serious about this guy,” Shoyo insisted. “As soon as she ends things, I’ll let you know right away. So don’t give up!”

Amanai’s frown only deepened. “Dr. Tsukishima?” she repeated. “Does Dr. Tsukishima have feelings for Dr. Yachi?”

Shoyo spat out a mouthful of banana milk. The drink splattered across his pants. “Shit. Sorry!”

“I’m sorry!” Amanai exclaimed, horrified. “Oh no! I don’t have any napkins, though!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” Shoyo waved her concerns away with one hand. “My fault. It’s not like they don’t get dirtier than this on the regular.” He dabbed at the stains with his hands. “You just caught me off guard. But trust me, Tsukishima does not have a thing for Yachi.”

When Shoyo lifted his gaze back up from his pants to Amanai, he spotted Atsumu over her shoulder. The café co-owner stood inside the building with his nose pressed up against the glass, looking directly at Shoyo.

Perking up at the sight of his friend, Shoyo lifted a hand to wave hello. Strangely enough, however, Atsumu darted away from the window as soon as they made eye contact. Weird. Well, weird wasn’t out of the realm of the ordinary when it came to Atsumu, he supposed. Shrugging, Shouyou turned back to Amanai.

“So, what else did you want to know about Yachi?”

***

1:30 PM

[Miya Atsumu]

Yo, Dr. Bokkun!

Σ (O_O)

[Bokuto Koutarou]

Tsum-tsum!!

What’s up (• ิ _• ิ )?

[Miya Atsumu]

You would not believe what I just saw in the hospital courtyard

Shoyo was with Amanai from neurosurgery

They looked pretty cozy (¬ ‿ ¬ )

Sho-kun even got flustered! He spat out his milk!

[Bokuto Koutarou]

No way!

(o_O) !

[Miya Atsumu]

Yes way

[Bokuto Koutarou]

Let me ask Iwaizumi if he knows anything

|ʘ ‿ ʘ) ╯

***

7:00 PM

[Hinata Shoyo]

Yacchan where r u? Ready for dinner?

[Yachi Hitoka]

finishing up now! I’ll go get my car and pick you up at the front

[Hinata Shoyo]

Sounds good!

btw

do u happen to know why kageyama is in such a bad mood

he’s extra grumpy this evening even though he was fine in the morning

[Yachi Hitoka]

i had no clue

… hope he doesn’t have a stomach ache. bbq is serious business

[Hinata Shoyo]

too right

well

i’ll head to the lobby

c u soon!

To Be Continued...

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deada55 · 9 months

Text

When the River Meets the Sea - Chapter 9

crossposting: ao3

work summary: A nine-year old in Tomahawk, WI gets glaucoma surgery over Christmas break.

chapter summary: It's the morning before the surgery, with no time to mourn.

tws: substance use, eye injury, child maltreatment

It's a fun one, y'all!

In the early morning, his mother shook him awake by the shoulder, irritable and active from the migraine that woke her up every other hour in the night. The living room was still dark, but the light in her bedroom shot out of the open door and streaked the brown shag carpet. Pickles was still asleep on his side, with his feet brought as far up into the borrowed bathrobe as he could hold while asleep.

“Pickles, get up and get ready. You need to go brush your teeth, and your hair is a mess... Did you spend all night on the couch when you have a perfectly good bed upstairs?”

He pried his eyes open through her cajoling. When he sat up, the crick in his neck “popped” out, but the relief gave way to a lingering weakness. The pressure in his head rose. The knot of the robe’s belt dug into his hip through the night and left him sore. His puffy undereyes burned and his hair was deranged from tossing and turning. Entire sections tufted together like the fur of a dirty red cat.

“Mom, I’m really sorry, I wet the bed. I’m sorry.”

She stood with her head leaned back, perplexed. “And your next move was the couch? You know how to change bedsheets, Pickles. What if you’d done it again?”

Before she’d finished speaking, he shrugged and forced himself up to fold the towel he’d slept with. Letting go of the front of her pink housecoat, she snatched him up by the collar of the green robe and turned him square to her.

“I don’t care what happens to you today– I’m your mother and you’re going to respect me if it’s the last thing you ever do! Do you understand me?”

With his free arm crossed diagonally across his chest, he squeaked out,

“Okay, Mom-”

“Not ‘okay, Mahm’, answer me!” She bared her yellowing teeth. Her fingernails stapled the robe together at his collarbones, and her grip threatened to choke him if she would only twist her hand.

“I… Uh! Um…” His mouth was wide as a hole in a concrete wall as his frenzied hands fell over her wrist. His shins scraped the coffee table, but he couldn’t step backwards.

“Don’t be stupid, Pickles. Do you understand what I told you?” When all he could do was stutter, her temples burned with a tension that only rolling her eyes could relieve. “Go take a shower. You stink.”

The morning sky was dark, but they always woke up as a family. When Pickles went to the bathroom, she took the towel to the washing machine. She pulled Seth’s sheets (left from the day before) of the dryer and traipsed upstairs with a basket to wake him up. Calvert put coffee on and loaded the toaster. While he was discreetly leaning over the sink, trying to hold down the remainder of last night’s sour stomach and wake up, she came back downstairs with both boys’ wet sheets and loaded them in the washer wearing rubber gloves.

After he showered, Pickles hustled out of the bathroom in a fresh beige towel, knowing Seth would need the shower next. Seth, however, always put his clothes on first, then came down to wash up. He put the same clothes back on when he was done. It wasn’t a foolproof plan to keep himself from smelling like piss, but Pickles didn’t want to rub salt in any wounds. After all, it was his older brother, and he could save (bedwetting) face however he saw fit. A masterpiece of gauze pads, tape, and rolled bandages covered Seth’s left eye, but he picked it as he walked to take it off before he went to the shower.

Every time his father raised his eyes at the breakfast table, Pickles looked anywhere else. Without food or a jelly jar of juice to sip at, he was stuck bouncing his knees and rubbing the seams of his clothes with the ragged scabs on his fingertips. If Seth, damp from the shower with an ugly eggplant of an eye on full display, wasn’t bouncing his leg, too, the sound of the floorboards wiggling underneath the linoleum would have set Molly off. She sucked down her over-easy eggs with her fork so delicately aloft that any sudden breeze could have knocked them on their golden stomachs into her Jimmy Dean sausage links.

The percolator sputtered out the last of the coffee and Calvert cleared the slur out of his throat.

“Gonna fix Pickles a plate?”

The sight of food made Pickles’ empty stomach cramp, so he leaned over the round table to try and take the edge off, and maybe sneak a moment with his head down…

His mother sucked her teeth. “Pickles, elbows off the table. Sit up straight.”

He sat up as far as he could and swallowed hard to see if it would help. The back of his throat had dried out all the way raw.

“He can’t have anything. Surgeon’s orders.” She ruptured the thin membrane of her egg yolk, which she had eaten around until there was no white left to pick away.

“Did the surgeon tell you to pee the bed, too?” Seth crushed the few crunchy cornflakes he had into the side of the bowl (because the faster the whole thing turned to mush, the less he actually had to eat.)

“He did?” Calvert lifted his coffee mug and looked over at Molly while she mopped Wonderbread through the mess on her plate

“Seth, not at the table,” She didn’t tolerate “potty-talk” at the table, not even mentioning “bathroom” or “restroom.” If you needed to go, you excused yourself, and your plate would be scraped and washed before you could come back to it.

Calvert gestured towards Pickles with a tilt of his head, eyebrows lifted as he waited for Molly to respond. With a sigh and a shallow nod, Molly gave Calvert a flat-lipped smile. He sat back in his chair, finished his coffee, and slid Pickles the funnies before pouring himself another cup from the percolator.

When all were excused, Pickles lingered white-faced at the table, with his palms pressed plainly into the ironed crease of his slacks. Today, his hand-me-down pants were dark red, with a matching yellow shirt that either made him look pink or sick. His mother told him not to wear red, since his hair clashed. It worked well for Seth and his light-brown hair, but her thriftiness trumped her criticism and Pickles ended up with hand-me-downs anyway. Days like these, he had a habit of wearing his least favorite clothes, so he wouldn’t “ruin” a good outfit with a bad memory. It took him a year to wear green again after the garage burnt down.

From the empty table, his line of sight fell directly onto their wheat-printed General Electric toaster that had sat beside the kitchen sink from the moment he could see the countertop at all. Every morning, everyone got a slice of toast, burnt black on the corner if you got the piece from the rightmost slot. Was his piece of bread still in there? Was one put in there for him at all? Did the toaster work as well with a quarter of it empty? Did it work better? He wasn’t listening when the toast popped out, but did the toaster make a softer chime with fewer pieces?

Would he ever get to find out, or was today the last day? His last day? People died “under the knife” all the time, General Hospital said so. And if eyes were the windows of the soul, if his eye popped like a balloon under the force of a scalpel, would his spirit rupture, too?

He heard his father’s footsteps transition from the carpet to the linoleum, and jerked his body forward when he heard his father’s reflux gas over his shoulder.

Calvert swallowed some briny phlegm and rested his fingers on the back of Pickles’ chair instead of going in for a pat on the back.

“Uh, don’t sweat it too hard, kid. It’ll all be over before you know it. Just a couple days.” He dumped the last silty drops of coffee into the sink before cleaning the percolator, continuing to talk over his shoulder, burping quietly under his breath. “You won’t remember it next year. Your mother doesn’t remember being in the hospital with either of you-”

Calvert didn’t dare ask what Molly remembered from the months she spent in her bed after her hysterectomy. The modern convention of baby formula was a lifesaver, so that he and an endless parade of aunts and grandmothers could take care of the new baby while Molly slept with her eyes open. Seth learned to use the potty from Molly’s sister-in-law after spending six weeks at their house.

“... You’re gonna be fine, Pickles. Don’t work yourself up before surgery.” All Pickles could hear were the tiny, bubbly belches popping out of his father between every word. Urp! Urp! Urp!

About every other breath, his father made the sound, and the back of Pickles’ throat started to get tight and dyspepsic. His racing heart started to punch him in the ears, faster than the little burps, until he couldn’t hear the running water from the sink.

Calvert looked back when he heard Pickles shake his inhaler, blotchy red from his temples to his collarbones. He moved back from the table and put his hands on his knees like a runner that’d stopped short and given up.

“I said quit it! Damn it, Pickles, I told you–” he pulled a bottle of white rum out from under the kitchen sink and poured himself half a pint glass.

He left Pickles to take his breath back on his own. Pickles waited until his father had retreated back to the bedroom before he ran up the stairs through the constriction and almost fainted once he got to the top.

When her toilette was complete, Molly circled the house in freshly polished brown shoes. With only ten minutes left to spare before they had to leave, she was on a manhunt for Pickles. It was 6:30 A.M., which wouldn’t matter if only she’d remembered to make him put a bag together the night before. When she raced up the stairs to do it herself and find him later, she heard coughing.

“Pickles, what are you doing with your toys? Get your medicine together to show the surgeon!”

Pickles was kneeling in front of the broken pieces of all his action figures, with Sam’s raggedy head over his shoulder. When he heard her, he came up on his feet and put Sam in front of his chest, but when he tried to skirt past her into the upstairs hall with his friend, she took a step to the side and blocked the doorway.

“You’re not taking Sam to the hospital. They’ll burn him so you don’t bring him home covered with measles or some crap, and you’ll never get him back. Then you’ll have ruined all your toys. Don’t try it, mister, or you’ll be sorry. ”

The tears burned, too, but he refused to blink as he walked downstairs with his empty hands in his empty pockets.

With a small duffel bag of socks, medicine, and underwear, he stood at the door and put on his coat while Molly de-iced the windshield with a pitcher of hot tap water. As chilling as the thought of him was, he wished his father would come back out of bed. Would he still remember how frightening his father looked, or how ugly and dark Seth’s black eye had grown overnight? A fat red split cut the black and purple. Seth rubbed the other eye and yawned as he stepped into the foyer.

“Hey, Pickles. Pickles. Look, let me know if you see some lady giving birth or something in the hospital. Peter Klein says the videos they show in health class are really gross. So. I hope they cover your eyes or something. Ok?” Seth’s breath stank of fake flossing and whole milk ass, but Pickles didn’t have the strength in him to do anything but smirk and nod off to the right like a moviestar would.

“Tell uh, everyone at Granny’s that I said ‘Hi.’” Pickles didn’t want to seem rude to the family, did he? He thought Seth would roll his eyes, but all he did was blink. Even the swollen one blinked, and the exposed sliver of Seth’s iris disappeared.

“Pickles, they already know who you are. They’re not stupid.”

Pickles pressed his lips together and nodded. Seth furrowed his brow and opened his mouth, then he thought twice about what he’d said. “... Uh, yeah, I’ll tell ‘em. I’m keeping your presents if you die, ok?”

Molly came around the corner wearing her good coat and Seth walked away without another word.

#metalocalypse #metalocalypse fanfic #mtl fanfic #pickles the drummer #molly metalocalypse #seth metalocalypse #calvert metalocalypse #my writing

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