#btw if u havent read that u like absolutely HAVE to

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Roxy: ate too many crakcers and salamii.!;!!;!;!:!;:)26$2837:72!:)AAAAAAAAAAAA

Hal:...Roxy are you okay?

[irishmammonagenda]

Death is a Debatable Thing-Obey Me x Reader

Summary: MC died 😱 and reincarnated as an angel, as per usual; chaos ensues. Word Count: 6.9k Warnings: Mention of Death, Cursing, Torture (mentioned, no torture happens) Michael is featured heavily in this, I just made up a personality for him, I don't play NB a lot (it makes me too sad) and I think he shows up there so if this is different to how he's portrayed there then L for me. Everyone except Luke was written as and can be read as Romantic(/platonic if you prefer)You can read Michael as Romantic, but I wrote him more Platonically.

post dividers from @saradika-graphics on tumblr (their dividers r really cool check them out if u havent fr (sorry for tagging you btw i just wanted to give credit)

"Absolutely not." You say, looking at your new found wings. "I did not die just to be reincarnated with the ugliest clothing I've ever seen."

"Would you have preferred to have been reincarnated as bare as Eve was in Eden?" The man you'd come to know as Michael. His dark skin shone in the blessed light of the celestial realm, his thick curly hair was pinned back in such a delicate fashion you wanted to unpin all the ornaments in it. Your fingers twitched at your sides.

"Isn't that against modesty rules or something...?" You paused, Simeon was an angel, he essentially had his ass out at all times anyway. Whore.

Michael stares at you weirdly, before playing with one of the loose strands of his hair, pulling the tight coil until it was completely straight before letting go and letting it spring back up again. Now you really wanted to mess up his hair. Just to annoy him.

"So anyway..." You start, sitting on a cloud that you fall through. For a moment you think you're about to pull a Lucifer and fall through the sky, but you manage to grab onto something and pull yourself up. That something is Michael's ankle and he's laughing at you, wiping a tear from ruby red eyes that shine just like that of his fallen brother.

"Stop laughing at me! Anyway, when can i go to the Devildom?" You inquire, watching Michael's face turn stern. He glares down at where you're lying, still gripping his ankle

"You're not returning to the Devildom anytime soon." He says sharply.

Your breath hitches. "Why not?! I have to let the brothers and Dia and Barbs and Sol and everyone else know I didn't die!"

"You did die. Why do you think you're an angel." Michael sighs, "and no. You're not letting them know you've returned."

"Why not?!" You repeat, outraged. "No offence though MC, but you´ve just died." "So?" You reply with indignation. "So," Michael says in a mocking tone, pitching his deep voice up high before letting it fall down the octaves once more. "You're barely able to walk on clouds or do anything yet. Letting you down to the Devildom is the equivalent of sending a baby bird into a den of lions."

"But...they'd protect me." You said softly, Michael's tone softens as well, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"They'd also over-protect you, they've just lost you. I don't think you're ready for that smothering just after your death."

You nod. Michael's soft expression turns devious, "Plus, this way, you have plenty of time to think about how youre going to scare my broth-...the brothers and everyone else whilst proving you're alive...well an angel..."

You grin too. "Amazing point Mr Michael."

He plays with his golden locks again, an idiosyncracy. "Anytime" He grins before beginning to walk again, you grab onto his ankle tighter. "Oh and Mc?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me Mr Michael again and I'm shaving all you hair off. And trust me. Angel hair does not grow back." He smiles evilly. You shudder.

Well it turns out Michael is a fucking liar.

After being a little bit too bored during your second month of being an angel and first month of learning not to fall through the clouds in Michael's private garden that consists purely of clouds and a singular harp he stole from some poor Irish Deity, you go bored and snipped your unnaturally long angel hair up to your waist. You didn't want to go too short just yet.

In the time frame of a week you learnt two things.

One: Angel hair does grow back, maybe a tiny bit faster than human hair, and Two, Michael was babysitting the harp. Turns out the Deity was called the Dagda and he was visiting France on holidays for some reason, poor man, having to go to France and deal with all the French People there. Turns out he left the harp in Michael's hands, something about Fomoranians not being smart enough to see this one coming.

You just nodded and slowly backed away. Michaels red eyes followed you. He and Lucifer had to be twins.

Another day passed. The more you thought about it, the more Michael and Lucifer had to be twins. After having cut your hair to just below your shoulders, you found a piece of unnecessarily fancy parchment paper and a quill on Michael's desk

Holding the black quill in your hands you felt a sense of familiarity wash over you. Was that?....

No fucking way.

Michael was using one of Lucifer's feathers as a quill. You cackled.

After much deliberation you'd realised you could not write with a quill, but also that you were very good at ripping paper and making blotches of ink on said paper with a quill.

You decided to snoop in Michael's desk for a pen, instead you found a drawer titled, 'LUKE ONLY' in cursive letters, the label was stuck to the drawer so obviously you opened it.

Colouring books, letters written by Luke from the Devildom, Report Cards, Crayons, Drawings, and a pack of stickers were left in the drawer, a notepad lay next to it, Michael's cursive handwriting all over it 'Activities to do', it had things like 'Bowling' and 'Baking' and 'Gardening' and 'Teach him how to knit' and 'Arts and Crafts' and 'Prank Jesus' and 'Take him to Human Realm Cinema' and and anything else really. You cooed, your ivory wings rustling happily.

You grabbed a crayon and began to write.

WHY MICHAEL AND LUCI ARE TWINS one; same eyes two; both evil three; both hot four; satan is basically luci's son if you think about it and michael has blond hair too, if luci and michael are twins that means that blond hair is in the gene pool and thats how satn has blond hair even though luci has black hair five; both like wearing dramatic cape coat things six; both of them baby luke seven; they ha

"What are you doing?" Michael asks, startling you, and ruining your next point of 'they have hands', "Why is my drawer open?" He grabs the parchment from you, reads it and bellows out in laughter.

"We are twins you could've asked." He smiled, "also put the crayon back thats Red and Luke likes colouring in Teddy Bears red."

"Yessir."

You were a master conspiracy theorist.

In the end, you and Michael had decided on visiting the Devildom for 'diplomatic' reasons, but upon seeing the glint in his eyes it was probably more for 'dicklomatic' reasons seeing as he's an utter dickhead.

You had a veil covering your face, seeing as you were still kind of legally and widely believed to be dead.

You know, the usual.

You walked behind Michael, attempting to kick at the back of his knees, it never worked sadly. You took a deep breath as you reached the RAD council room doors.

Michael grabs you by your shoulders whispering into your ear. "Now remember MC im going to use you as a bargaining tool, so keep that veil on till i say so, got it?" He grins.

You nod, knowing that 'bargaining tool' in Michaelish translates to 'im bored and want to see a dramatic reunion'

Michael opens the doors.

You walk in with him but stand at the door awkwardly, steeling yourself so you don't immediately run into any of your idiots' arms.

Luke apparently had the same idea, as when he saw Michael, he let out a happy 'yip!' kind of sound similar to a puppy's and then ran from where he stood beside Simeon and Solomon into the Archangel's arms.

Michael catches him happily, petting his head as the young angel nuzzles into his hair, blabbering on about who knows what. Asmo takes a photo of it, everyone else stares with varying levels of fondness, awkwardness and 'meh'.

Sadly for you however, once Simeon is done greeting Michael, and Michael is now distracted by Luke introducing him to Barbatos who is apparently the 'bestest baker in the world!' (you could agree with that sentiment), Simeon walked over to you, his serene smile on his face.

"Hello, I'm Simeon, forgive me for asking, but do I know you? You have a familiar aura."

You shake your head.

"Oh, never the matter" Simeon smiles, "What's your name then. my friend?"

You clear your throat and put on a deep american accent, "Rupert...Pleasure to meet you...Simeon.."

"Are you sure we haven't met before?"

"Certain." You say in the same ridiculous voice.

Simeon nods, he excuses himself after Solomon calls him over, you turn to glance at Michael who is carrying a now sleeping Luke in his arms and gently stroking the boy's golden hair while stressing out Lucifer with questions. Satan looks on with a smirk on his face.

Glancing around the room you see similar scenes, Mammon and Levi are playing a game on the latter's switch, Asmo, Solomon and Simeon are talking, sometimes glancing at you. Barbatos and Diavolo were watching Michael annoy Lucifer, with both sometimes adding their input, causing Michael to laugh loudly then stiffle it, so as not to wake up the sleeping baby in his arms. Beel and Belphie were near the others but still off in their own twin world, Belphie was awake and watching Michael bully Lucifer from where his head laying sleepily on his twin's leg.

Raphael, Thirteen and Mephisto had been sent out on a top secret mission the day before, Michael had said it was because he didnt want to die and also did not want his death to be put in the RAD Newspapers, especially a picture of him that was less than flattering.

Even though everyone seemed joyous, you noticed an air of sadness, like something was missing. Looking at your old seat in the student council you see the amount of flowers set on it.

Against your better judgement, you walk towards it. Not noticing a few pairs of eyes following you.

When you reach your former desk, you notice a photo of you framed, it was you and everyone, a family photo, everyone was either in their demon, angel or reaper forms, you wore really cheap red horns with a halo you shoved on one of them whilst also wearing an old reaper robe. It looked ridiculous, you loved it.

"Enjoying yourself? Rupert.~" a honeyed voice startles you. Asmo, although, somethings in his voice, maybe anger, maybe suspicion.

"Uhhh.." You say in your fake american accent.

"I'm Asmodeus, avatar of lust.~ Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Guess so." You shrug Americanly, thankful once more the veil covers your whole face.

Asmo's eyes have some hurt in them, he seems...catty, probably because you, who he thinks is a random stranger is just standing at his dead loved one's desk.

L.

You open your mouth to say something, but no sound comes out, especially not when another familiar voice is added to the mix.

"Well hello. I don't believe we've met before. The name's Solomon. You must've heard of me."

Oh shit.

"Oh...I have, briefly! Hello Solomon, my name's Robert." You say in your fake deep american accent voice.

Asmo tilts his head, "I thought your name was Rupert?"

Shit.

"Oh. Yes" You quickly bullshit, "My name's got the hyphens, Robert-Rupert." You avoid eye contact despite the fact you have a veil covering your face that only lets you see out of it, so the sorcerer and demon can't even make eye contact with you, even if they wanted to.

This was getting awkward.

"You seem very familiar Robert-Rupert." Solomon says, you did not like that crafty smile.

"I get that a lot." You nod before walking away.

You walk towards Michael who, has a now awake but sleepy Luke in his arms, he sits on one of the sofas in the council room beside Simeon, with Barbatos, Diavolo and Lucifer facing them on the other sofa. Atleast you'll be safe from Solomon over here. As you walk, you notice Satan, Beel and Belphie have left. Either Lucifer was going to get pranked or Lucifer was going to get pranked but not as prankily because Beel unknowingly made puppy-eyes. Mammon and Levi were bickering quietly in a corner (shocking they could do it quietly) about who won the lat round of Devilio kart.

When Michael saw you approaching he waved you over, beckoning you to sit down in the empty space beside him, "This is an angel I'm currently training, their name is.....Steven."

Simeon tilts his head "I thought their name was Rupert?"

Michael clears his throat awkwardly.

You make your voice the deep horrible American accent, "My full name is Robert-Rupert-Steven...it's hyphenated."

Michael nods aggressively.

Lucifer, Simeon, and Barbatos side-eye eachother. Something was going on here.

"So, Robert-Rupert-Steven," Barbatos begins, his polite smile a little jagged at the edges, "I saw you at MC's desk earlier, how so?"

At the mention of your actual name, everyone there tenses up, Luke, thankfully is too sleepy to have realised, Michael quickly stands up with the small angel in his strong arms, knowing if he heard the conversation about to occur he would be upset, "I should probably go, give this one a walk around to wake him up a little. Simeon, would you like to come with me?"

Simeon nods, Michael and Him leave the council room, with Luke sleepily holding both of their hands and walking slowly along with them.

Now you were stuck with the Prince of the Devildom, the Scary Butler and the Scary Single-Dad. All of which haven't realised that it's you, and all of which thinking you are a random stranger.

"Well, Robert-Rupert-Steven?" Diavolo asks, his friendly demeanor the tiniest bit strange,"What captivated you to go towards MC's desk."

"Who's MC?" You decide to play it dumb. Bad decision, seeing as all three stiffen, Barbatos' being the most unnoticeable.

A very long 3 hour conversation went by, wherein, Diavolo, Lucifer, Barbatos as well as a certain Mammon and Levi who joined 10 minutes in, and an Asmo and Solomon who joined 12 minutes in talked about you, for 3 hours straight.

'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.' was an accurate reprenstation of your mental state actually.

The urge to just rip your veil off right there was almost stronger than the urge to dropkick Maddi anytime you remembered she existed. Keyword being almost.

You just about made it out of the council room with your life. Now for your master plan. Scare the absolute shit out of the Anti-Lucifer-League. That'll get them back for never listening to your amazing prank suggestion of leaving random origami swans around the house in random spots. It was genius!

Breaking into the House of Lamentation was always easy when you knew that Mammon hid his emergency house key behind the garden gnome that now you saw it....kind of looked like a really bad rendition of Michael. With its dark skin, A DnD-esque robe and, a horrible smiley face painted on it, and the worst crime of all, bright yellow, almost neon hair, and also a princess tiara.

You almost cackled.

Taking the key you slowly open the door to the kitchen and sneakily sneak in. Sadly for you, it was they key to the kitchen door to the outside of the back of the house, which meant it opened in the kitchen, and since it opened in the kitchen, you awkwardly waved at Beel, who was having a midnight feast.

Beel tilts his head. "You're the Angel from earlier. What are you doing here?"

You once more, fake your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice and say, "I have Materials for the Anti-Lucifer League as they've suggested."

You are such a good liar.

"Oh," Beel nods, normally he wouldn't let a stranger into the house, but something felt...familiar...and safe with you. "Okay then, do you know where you're going?"

"Yes."

Beel nods, and goes back to eating the pudding labelled 'MAMMONS: BEEL DONT TOUCH THESE'

After much searching, you do not find the Anti-Lucifer-League, but you do unfortunately, open the door to Lucifer's office. The place where Lucifer currently is.

He looks up immediately on guard. You are not prepared to die a second time,

"What are you-" He begins, in demon form and standing up.

You interrupt him, making 'woooooh!' sounds and waving your arms about, and in your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you say "Wooooh! I am the....ghost of christmas past!...Woooh! and I am..." You pause, not noticing your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice has began to slip away, and your natural one has taken its place. "I am here to tell youuuuu.....to woohhhh! Take breaks more! Woooh!....and not overwork yourself! Woooh!"

Lucifer pauses, the danger in his eyes fades into disbelief. He knows that voice. He's spent the better part of a year listening to recordings of that voice and praying to his Father for the first time since the celestial war for that voice to return to him.

"..MC?.."

You've been found out. Quickly you put your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice back on, except it's gone up 12 pitches. "Who's MC?! Haha! What a weird thing to sa-"

You don't get to finish, as Lucifer pulls your veil off. His breath hitches upon seeing your face.

Your covers been blown. All because you pretended to be the ghost of Christmas past. Great.

Lucifer immediately pulls you into a hug, arms tightening around you, as if he's afraid you'd disappear. He chuckles, wiping tears from his eyes, his frame shakes. "I thought-thought I'd lost you forever...I always thought your face was angelic...-...it's fitting."

You hug him just as tightly.

But ever the menace, after about an hour or so, you look up at the Avatar of Pride, "Say, Luci?"

"Yes, my dove?"

"Wanna help me prank the rest of them?"

"Perhaps...I might help with...some setups..." He pauses, "You are telling Barbatos outright though."

You shudder. "Of course I am. I don't have a second deathwish."

Lucifer's grip on you tightens slightly, you kiss his cheek in apology. "Sorry," You grin, "Too soon?"

"Try again in another century dear."

The next day, the first thing you and Lucifer do is travel to the Demon Lord´s Castle.

Barbatos greets you in the Entrance Hall, "Oh, Lucifer," He nods in greeting at the eldest of the brothers (second eldest actually, seeing as Michael enjoys bragging that he's older by a whopping total of 2 minutes) he turns to you, who put the veil back on, "And Robert-Rupert-Steven, Welcome to the Demon Lord's Castle, although, I must ask, why you have shown up today?"

In your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you accidentally, against your better judgement, and rather impulsively state; "I'm here to assassinate Dia-...volo."

A portal opens, dragging you through it, and you land in the feared rumoured dungeons. Barbatos follows gracefully, now in Demon Form. Leaving a sighing Lucifer in his wake in the Entrance Hall. He decides to just journey to Diavolo's office and discuss things related to work. Barbatos wouldn't hurt you when he found out it was you so he really had nothing to worry about. Maybe you'd finally learn to stop joking about assassinating Diavolo, especally when other Noble Demons were around at Balls.

Sadly for you, you were now alone in Barbatos' Dungeons. Now what's scarier than being alone in Barbatos' Dungeons? Being alone with Barbatos in Barbatos' dungeons.

Time to run away.

As it turns out, running away isn't very easy when magic chains pin you to the wall. In your panic, you blurt out, "You know, I'd rather you pin me to the wall haha!" in your normal voice. The fear forcing your horrible puns and jokes to slip out.

Barbatos, who had been approaching menacingly calmly with a torture device pauses so fast it gives you whiplash. (Better than getting whiplash from the whip he was previously holding.)

In some display akin to a cockroach kind of squirming about after you crush it, in your chained up state you manage to twitch enough that you were able to pinch a piece of your veil's fabric just enough that it falls to the ground.

Immediately, the magic chains fall away, strong arms catch you as you stumble. "Hi Barbs..." You say breathlessly.

Barbatos looks like he'd seen a ghost. (You were an Angel, thank you very much.) After your death he had tried and tried to pull a you from another dimension. It would never work, some force stopped him each time. (To be fair, it was probably your jealous ass. No way in Diavolo were you being replaced by yourself from another dimension.)

His bottom lip trembles, much like the rest of his body, as he leans in, "May I, my dear?" You nod, giving him your consent as he kisses you so gently, as if he feared you would break or fade away.

He murmurs apology upon apology for the fact he had no doubt frightened you, he couldn't risk a threat to Diavolo, your 'death' had left him a little...tethered and emotional.

You close your eyes and kiss him again, now noticing you're in the kitchens and not in the spooky scary dungeon.

"Wanna bake cookies? Like we always used to do?"

Barbatos nods softly. "You do have to tell Lord Diavolo you're actually alive though, little lamb."

Your eyes light up. "We could make a cake! And hide me inside it!"

Barbatos sighs, but looking at your puppy eyes, he agrees. Gently he picks a stray ivory feather from your wings, making them rustle at the touch. Devil...you looked angelic.

Baking with Barbatos was always fun, but sadly he did not agree with your attempt at throwing flour at him.

"MC?" He catches your attention, bringing an ungloved hand to caress your face, "Have I ever told you that you shine brighter than all the stars in the Devildom?"

You blush and try to cover your face when he turns away to add more eggs into your batter only to find flour on your face. That sneaky bastard! Psychological warfare is illegal. And that sure felt like it.

It was on.

Apparently it was only on for you though. Though you did get a speck of flour on Barbatos' apron. That was a win, especially if you ignore the fact that your face and apron were covered in the white powder, which you were ignoring! So take that Barbatos!

In the end, the cake was beautiful, Barbatos helped you into the cake, and cut out a you shaped hole out of the layers made.

He then helped you out again, and the Flour War began again only this time with icing.

Hiding in a cake is quite a fun experience. Especially when you can take bites of your hiding space. Yum yum.

You feel Barbatos' wheeling of you stop as he reaches Diavolo's office, he knocks on the door, and as you requested, begins to film on his DDD (you had to promise the video would never get out of your hands.)

Diavolo sat alone, Lucifer had had to leave an hour before, Beel had went on a rampage in Hell's Kitchen again apparently.

"My Lord, I feel you have been feeling down, so here is a treat." Barbatos says, "And as a special treat, I will allow you to cut it yourself." He nods at Diavolo who you can just picture has stars in his eyes as you hear the demon butler walk to a corner of the room, still filming.

Diavolo brings the knife to the cake, as it cuts into it, you grab the blade and pull it forward. Upon hearing Divaolo's confused murmurs, You peek through the tiny hole the knife made, seeing Diavolo distracted, tilting his head like a child and asking Barbatos what he should do now.

You however know what you should do now.

Quick as a flash, you shove your hands through the cake, reach for Diavolo's arms and pull him in face first.

You didn't even care if it was probably treason. Diavolo's suprised screaming and Barbatos' slight surprised chuckle was so worth it.

It was worth it for Diavolo even after 4 hours, as he held you in his big arms, whilst the both of you were still covered in cake. Barbatos, the traitor, snapped photos of this and sent them to Lucifer.

On a great note, Diavolo agreed to help prank the rest of the brothers with you, much to Barbatos' dismay. (The butler was definitely going to help you with a certain sorcerer, however)

After a night and day at the castle and a very extensive bath, you recollected your veil, and snuck out (read: Barbatos and Diavolo waved goodbye to you and gave you some left over cake for the journey home) of the castle, you began your walk to Purgatory Hall.

Michael was staying there, and you needed to tell him everyone's reactions so far.

It was also a Saturday, meaning that Solomon would be out in Sorcerer's society meetings all night and morning.

When you got there you made use of the tree there and climbed up it until you saw something in Luke's room. You paused your climbing and looked in through the window.

Two figures were in the Young Angel's room.

As Luke lay tucked in in his bed, cuddling the dog plushie that Mammon had given him at a carnival last year that he claims to have thrown away, Michael and Simeon sat on his bed, the nightlight on the boy's bedside table created a gentle glow that the two elder were using to read the storybook strew across both of their laps aloud, they appeared to be acting it out ever so slightly. When Luke finally drifted off. Both Angels kissed his forehead then dimmed the nightlight down slightly, dim enough where it wouldn't hurt the boy's eyes but bright enough that the dark wouldn't scare him if he woke up in the middle of the night, keeping the curtains open for added light.

You cooed silently, your white wings rustling.

Snapping out of it, you scale across the wall before finding the spare room Michael was staying in and breaking in.

"Hello Motherfucker." You greet the Archangel.

"You couldn't pay me to fuck your mother."

"Harsh. And here I was about to tell you my escapades..." You sigh dramatically. Michael immediately smiles sweetly. Buttering you up. You cave.

After about an hour of Michael laughing at you specifically, and then changing your contact to 'ghost of christmas past' the bastard finally fell asleep.

Feeling thirsty, you snuck downstairs into the kitchen to get a drink, and also a sharpie so you could draw a mustache on Michael's face. Not bothering to put your veil on seeing as no one would be awake anyway.

As you filled up a glass of water and leaned against the kitchen counter drinking it, lost in your own plans, mainly of who to prank nest and how to do it.

You don't hear the little pitter-patter of feet until it's too late.

"MC?" A sleepy Luke stands in the doorway in cat themed pajamas no doubt gifted to him by a certain someone, he holds his dog plush loosely as he rubs his eyes with a tiny fist.

He walks slowly towards the cupboard, pouting sleepily when he realises he can't reach it, you immediately grab his favourite mug,(the one with the red tractor on it) knowing to put milk and some sugar in it before placing it in the microwave for 2 minutes.

Luke walks over to you still half asleep, resting his face on your side, you bring him in for a hug. "Simeon said you went to a happy place after you left, he always got sad when I asked when you were coming home..."

You bite your lip and speak softly, "My flight got delayed for a little while," You lie. Luke didn't need to know you died, Simeon hadn't told him in the best of ways to shield the young boy, that worked out in your favour.

You catch the microwave before it beeps, taking the warm milk out and stirring the hot-spots out of it before handing it to Luke. With his teddy now in the crook of his elbow, he sleepily took the mug before putting his tiny hand in yours.

"C'mon Luke, let's get you back to bed." You say softly, he nods tiredly.

"Will you tuck me in? And read me a bedtime story?" He yawns quietly.

"Of course."

After closing his curtains and tucking Luke in, he snuggles up to you and you read him a bedtime story, after drinking his warm milk, he falls asleep quite quickly, so do you.

A mistake, really. Seeing as in the morning when Simeon comes in to wake the small angel up and sees you there he lets out a shriek very out-of-character for him.

A shriek which wakes both you and Luke up.

Luke smiles toothily, "Oh Simeon! MC came back last night! Did you not see?"

Simeon collects himself, "I must've been asleep Luke, why don't you get dressed then come down for breakfast? Michael and I made pancakes. M-MC, why don't you come downstairs now?"

Luke nods and gets up dutifully.

As soon as you leave the room and Simeon is sure you're both out of the earshot of Luke, he pulls you into a hug which you return.

"I thought I'd lost you.." He breathes out softly.

"Me? C'mon Simmy...you know I'd never let death keep me." You laugh, he laughs breathlessly.

"I suppose not...." He captures your lips in a soft innocent kiss before leading you downstairs, hand-in-hand.

When Michael sees the two of you he offers you a pancake, far too casually for Simeon's taste.

Simeon looks between the two of you and glares at Michael. "You knew about this."

"Haha! Funny story actually! I need to go help Jesus! He's gone and ventured into another desert!" Michael laughs nervously before booking it, only coming back when Luke appears, knowing then he's safe from Simeon's wrath....

....for now.

You took out your super serious napkin and crayon that you stole from Diavolo (read: Diavolo gave you) and crossed out Simeon's name.

Your list was now as follows:

Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

For Satan and Belphie, you could knock out two Anti-Lucifer-League Birds with one stone. It felt a little mean to prank prank Levi and Beel...Mammon and Asmo were debatable, but you were going all out on Solomon. That'll teach him to turn you into a sheep that one time 2 years ago.

After careful deliberation and planning, (20 seconds of thinking.) You'd decided to sneak into the Sorceror's society and jokingly attempt to assassinate Solomon, and maybe fully assassinate Maddi if she was there. Not maybe, definitely.

Veil over your head, you walked in, when the sorcerer guards stopped you, you just pretended to be Michael then walked further in. Apparently they were terrified of the Archangel. Damn this society needs better sorcerers securitying it.

After stealing schedules you realised Solomon would be in a meeting right now with a bunch of no names. Oh well.

You crept into the meeting and attempted to plunge the butter knife Barbatos' gave you from the castle kitchens specifically for this in his neck, knowing he'd dodge. "This is for the Sheep Potion you Rat Bastard!" You screech like a Bean Sídhe. After half a millisecond of shock and slight anger, Solomon realises who it is behind the veil, laughing he grabs the arm you're holding the butter knife in and drags you into his lap, gently ripping the veil off of you and giving you a peck on the forehead, before he turns to the shocked and slack-jawed sorcerers that looked older than he did. "Sorry all, my adorable partner," He puncuates the word partner by pulling you closer to him, "missed me a little too much. and has-" He kisses you on the lips passionately for a moment, leaving you very much breathless and him very much chuckling, "-strange ways of showing their affection."

Bastard.

Some time into the meeting you whisper, "How are you not more shocked?"

"Well Robert-Rupert," He whispers teasingly back to you, "Remember that binding spell we did back when you were alive? It never broke. I knew the moment I saw you."

Your heart stops. "Did you tell anyone else?"

"I debated telling Asmo, but I suppose you wanted to on your own terms." He teases.

"I should've tried to stab you with a sharper knife."

Solomon laughs, "Oh and MC my love?"

"Hmm?"

His eyes glint predatorily, "You look absolutely ravishing as an angel. I can't help but want to corrupt you..."

You bury your face in his chest to hide your blush.

Bastard.

On the bright side, now a rumour that Solomon the Wise and Michael the Archangel are secret lovers has spread around the Devildom. You're counting that as a win.

Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

After your encounter with Solomon, you'd decided learning to just hide your angel form was the best course of action. Luckily it was fucking easy and you could've done it ages ago. Strange how Simeon and Luke never mentioned it....meh. You're pretty sure Luke just thought Michael thought you were super cool so he made you an angel. You weren't telling him anything otherwise.

´Satan and Belphie watch your fucking backs.´ was the pedal note of all your thoughts currently, you´d snuck back into the House of Lamentation, thankfully Beel was not in the kitchen, he was at Fangol at this hour.

Walking through the halls stealthily, you heard whispers as two sets of feet seemed to enter the room at the farthest end of the hallway. Lucifer´s room.

You fucking caught them.

No time to be caught in Lucifer´s room, seeing as if you were there long enough and Lucifer caught you, you would not be leaving for a good while.

So you crept up to the attic, the official Anti-Lucifer-League headquarters, you climbed the pillars to get on the roof and you waited.

Sure enough, ten minutes later, snickering could be heard coming up to the attic. Satan opens the door, letting Belphie in, both brothers in various fits of sniggering as they walk into the room.

"He'll never see this one coming!" "This is our best one yet."

From your place on the attic ceiling, you spot Lucifer filming on his DDD from the shadows of the doorway. Of course he found out about this.

"Of course it's our best one yet!"

You swing down off of the ceiling beam, swinging lightly upside down. "And you didn't invite me?" You pout.

Satan and Belphie scream, clutching onto eachother, before noticing that it's you and running to pull you down and clutch onto you instead. You notice Lucifer chuckle and put his DDD in his pocket before leaving. Traitor.

You cuddle into your two Anti-Lucifer League Brethren, maybe this wasn't so bad. (Of course it wasn't, you loved your idiots.)

Safe to say, you didn't leave the attic for a long time. Apparently people need time to process that you're not actually dead. What madness.

House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

You had long unentangled yourself with a sleeping Belphie and Satan, making sure to leave a:

it wasnt a dream dont worry lads im alive.

note on their chests just in case.

Sitting in the attic with your napkin and crayon in hand, you ripped the Purgatory Hall part off of it and used the back of it for that note, you scanned through the list. You should save your First Man for last, so your next options were Beel, Asmo and Levi.

Seeing as you've shown yourself to Belphie, it's only natural your gentle giant is next.

Watch your fucking back Beel. Literally

Speaking of, it's been a few hours, Beel should be coming back from Fangol practice any moment now.

As was routine at this point, you crept through the House of Lamentation's halls and quickly ran into Beel and Belphie's shared bedroom.

As Beel walked into the room, his Fangol bag slung across his chest and a pile of after Fangol snacks in his hands, you braced yourself, made a run for it, anf landed right square on his back, arms around his neck to keep from falling.

"Oh hi MC!" Beel hummed cheerfully, before his eyes widened and he dropped his snacks. "MC?!"

"Hi!"

Quick as a flash, Beel maneuvers himself in 'dying cockroach you in Barbatos' dungeons part two' and grabs you into his arms.

"I thought you died..." He said, smelling your hair as he cuddled you.

"I did. I just came back as an angel."

"Really?" His breath hitches, "Can I see?.."

You take a deep breath and your wings and halo pop out, he strokes them gently.

"You're beautiful..." He whispers, enraptured...."I think...out of all of Father's creations over the years since the celestial war...you're the most precious...."

He speaks softly, always the gentle giant, the moment lasts for just a moment, before the moment, like all moments do, has passed. Beel's stomach rumbles and you giggle.

"You should eat your snacks, Beelie.."

"They always taste better when we share." He nods seriously.

House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

Levi or Asmo? You bit your crayon in thought then immediately made a face. Crayons did not taste nice.

Speaking of things that did not taste nice, you remembered that one time you tried to eat Levi's controller because you were bored.

Levi it was!

You had to time this perfectly, waiting in the shadows until Levi went down to get a snack, you snuck into his room, saying the answer to his password out of pure habit, before sitting on his gamer chair and maneuvering it in such a way he would not be able to see anyone on it from the door.

When Levi walked into his room, a bag of crisps in hand, he took a few steps before you swung around "Boo!" and he screamed. Dropping his crisps.

After convincing him you were infact not a ghost (Unlike Lucifer's), you sat with him in your arms, watching anime, and getting caught up on the new episodes released.

You cuddled up to him in his bathtub that night. You grinned evilly. This gave you an idea.

House of Lamentation Mammon LeviSatan Asmo Beel Belphie

It was no secret that Asmo bathed a lot. Funfact, Angels can hold their breath for 30 minutes!

As Asmo was busy picking out which pajamas he wanted to wear after his bath, you tiptoed behind him and slowly got in his bath, hiding under the bubbles.

It took a total of five minutes before Asmo closed the door to his bathroom and got into his bath, this was your chance! Reaching out, you grabbed his foot and pulled him under.

He screeched, when got back above the surface of the water, he grabbed your hand and pulled you over.

He squealed this time, hugging you tightly.

"Oh MC darling!~ I thought you were...well never the matter~...." He punctuated each word by kissing your face all over, leaving you squirming in his grasp out of embarassment. "How naughty!~ Sneaking into my bath like that...~...not that you arent always welcome my lovely!~"

"A-asmo," You say, your clothes soaked, though you couldn't find yourself caring. "Asmo, I love you..." your voice is soft and the Avatar of Lust coos.

It was a nice night.

Time for your final victim. Your First Man. Feeling nice, you decided not to do something too mean.

Painstakingly, you made a trial of grimm from the front door to your First Man's room, more specifically; to his bed. The plan was to hide behind the door and jumpscare him while he was busy collecting the grimm.

Unfortunately for you, seeing as you weren't sure when Mammon got off his modelling shift, you'd finished far too early, and since you and Asmo were up the entire night, you were quite sleepy.

Surely a little 5 minute nap wouldnt hurt?

You woke up hours later to a sobbing Mammon on top of you, cuddling you in his arms like his life depended on it. It seems you'd falled asleep on his bed, more specifically in his nest.

In the nest you would normally sleep in while alive. (While Human technically, seeing as you are alive, just not human.)

You bring a hand to his snowy locks, he sobs harder. Like his brother, kissing all over your face softly, "Thought I lost ye' forever Hum'n" he gasps for air, his sobs quieting down, "Though' you were gone....I prayed ev'ry nigh'...." he says, voice barely above a whisper as he strokes your cheek, looking into your eyes. "I prayed ta Fath'r ev'ry nigh' since ye' died...that he'd bring ye' back te me...."

"And he did..." You say just as softly, bringing your hand up to wipe the tears from his eyes, sharing a soft kiss with him. As always, your greedy lovable bastard would want more, and you'd want nothing more than to give them to him.

And the next day when you told Michael you'd be staying in the Devildom he cheered, then told you to include him in this 'Anti-Lucifer League business' because it 'seemed fun'.

Wow. Now you knew where Satan got it from. Poor Lucifer, he just barely got away from Michael in the Celestial realm, and now he has to deal with Michael 2.0 in the Devildom.

Satan and Michael really were kind of similar....maybe it's a good thing they've only met in passing.

Moral of the story kids. Death sucks, don't do it. If you do do it, reincarnate. Bam! Problem Solved.

This is the longest ever fic I've ever wrote and probably does not make a lot of sense so I apologise for that. I also apologise for any ooc behaviour i'm still learning how to write characterisation😔✊

also i love thinking of Michael being a father figure to Luke and its very obvious

[adxrnunofficial]

have u read the pond child au comic by any chance :3

OH I SURE DID!

**Heavy positive rant here cuz i absolutely love this au**

*slight gore warning also*

(Please go check them out if you havent —-> https://pond-child-edd.tumblr.com/)

i really wanted to make a post like this before, when i saw the question in my inbox i knew it was my time to shine PFFT

Soo in recent weeks i wanted to check out the comic, since a lot of my friends loved it and said that i should read it and stuff…

i read the whole comic in 2 hours..

.

first of all, the plot is AMAZING!! i love zombie apocalypse/ survival plots smm, the classic era of eddsworld is a cherry on topp

and the DRAMA?? THE ANGST??? THE COMEDY??? AT THE SAME TIME??!? its just beautiful!!

second of all, the gangs personalities are the best, i especially like matts whole personality LIKE HE HAS THOSE NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOURS THAT LITERALLY MADE A WHOLE CONFLICT IN THE COMIC (and abandonment issues ofc) , IDK IF HE IS AWARE OF HIMSELF BUT ITS JUST!! SO GO O D!! [ also the incident that included matt broke me so damn much X(( ]

AND THE TENSION / RIVALRY BETWEEN TORD AND MATT IS MAGNIFICENT. Ive actually never seen this kind of relationship between those in other fan content before, but im LOVING it!!

About Edd…

I LOVE HIM SO DAMN MUCH I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS IT BUT HE IS JUST DJHFJNRN!! I LOEV LOVE LOVE HIM TOO MUCH!!! (istg he needs to get some rest after what happend in the last chapter DJHDCD)

also tom is so cute wtf

(oh btw i love the fact that tords t shirt changes every pannel, its hella hilarious LOL)

third of all, the art and expressions are on the top 🏃‍♂️its so simple yet so impactful, I can see how much time and effort this comic took, and i RESPECT THAT SO DAMN MUCH!!!

I’ll definitely draw more fanarts w this au lololol

[ssparksflyy]

Hiii I hope you are having a great day!! I was wondering if you could make another percy jackson x daughter of Hecate reader? If you don’t/ can’t do it that’s fine I just though i would ask.

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

percy jackson dating hcs ! *ੈ✩‧₊˚

pairing: percy jackson x latina!daughter of hecate!reader warning(s): swearin an: dw i got ur 2nd request that u wanted reader to be latina :)) i just added in some little things that tie in ♡♡ srry if these are short btw </3

in the dead of night, your eyes so greennnnnnnn

you and percy tend to stay up later than most of camp

your always up and out after curfew

you js function better at night okay

me asf

the day is reserved for lake dates and the night is reserved for sky watching dates ♡♡

youre literally attached by the hip if you couldnt tell

as they say in waitress, i love you means your never ever getting rid of me ♡

you usually watch from the roof of cabin 3, just cuddled up and sharing a blanket

but once percy suggested you watch from the docks

and you were like oh!

not actually but you looked really hesitant

he was like whats wrong??

so you told him about la llorona !! #coquette

it was so preppy

but now youre both scared to go to the lake at night

even though yk shes not real

and youve literally been through tartarus

and back

and you face unimaginable horrors every day

and percy's literally the son of the sea god

mexican folklore is scary ok yall

idc if it didnt scare you as a kid / you like horror

I DONT

IM TRAUMATIZED

MY GRANDMA PUT ON LA LEYENDA DE LA LLORONA WHEN I WAS FIVE AND I HAVENT KNOWN A DAY OF PEACE SINCE

sorry for trauma dumping yall

kinda silly how some story about a lady who drowned her kids is enough to make 2 of camp half blood's strongest soldiers shake in their boots

so u stick to rooftops ♡

you and hazel are bestiessss

shes a honorary member of cabin 20 of course

you exchange tips and tricks, hazel telling you about the things she saw hecate do and the things she said to her

and you tell her about the things youve picked up over the years :))

percy cant help but smile whenever he sees you two together

he sees hazel as a sister

(yall remember in son when he was ready to fight somebody for her or something like that i dont remember exactly what he said but i do know he was ready to fight)

and ur his fav girl ever ♡

his heart just feels warmed

same way he feels when he sees you playing with estelle

you show her a bit of ur powers and she flips outtttt

she asks sally to be a witch for halloween because "i want to be just like (y/n)!!!"

dont know about yall but if i went home and my family found out i was involved with ~brujeria~ i would not be accepted at home (please read as if youre white and cant say shit in spanish)

thats just the mad religious side talking dont worry yall

but sally and paul would literally let you in with open arms

the jackson's apartment is your second home

percy has a drawer reserved for your clothes in his room ♡♡

he loves it when you sleepover, at home or at camp

he absolutely adores kissing your hands

he doesnt care about the dangers you can produce from them, he'll kiss em allllll he wants

you could be cuddled up together, ur reading to him and he just grabs one of your hands and begins to leave a trail of kisses up your arm, shoulder, neck, cheek, and eventually leaving one on your temple

it just gets you like 😵‍💫

he loves his badass girlfriend, okay?

literally your #1 fan

would beat up anybody who talks shit !!!

tea is your holy ground ♡

because you cant drink coffee

cause ya know, adhd, youll just end up knocking out

though you do drink it when you cant fall asleep at night

its me, hi

and hot chocolate is strickly an only-in-december drink, because then it wont hit in december, since you had it earlier in the year

(my mom does that with gorditas and tamales broooo its painful)

so ya drink tea!

i dont drink tea, so im not even gonna try to tell you what his favorite is

he likes whatever you like

but you try a bunch of different teas and stuff together :)

youd probably adopt a black cat together when youre older

youre never gonna beat your neighbor's witch allegations

(probably because theyre true but youll obviously never say that)

i feel like percy would be more of a dog person but lets be real, he likes horses.

fuckin horse girl smh

but that does not mean he wouldnt love and care for the cat

he'd so let you stop to pet any stray cat you see on the street

takes pictures of the cat anytime you do ♡

you cook together !!

you teach percy a bunch of different recipes and stuff :)

has a 'kiss the cook' apron 100%

and what can ya say, you gotta kiss the cook

man you guys manage to stay silly throughout the horrors, we love

[raidenloml]

3 from the askgane dor whichever characters u want >:]

ack!!!! ok so!!!

3. weapon of choice? any particular reason they chose their weapon?

(this is a perfect question as ive been playing more splatoon 3 recently so i actually have a feel for the weapons i want my characters to use hihi + ill just list all of the ones i currently have chosen weapons for!)

turns out, this post grew way longer than i thought it would so uh woe read more be upon you

Arsenic:

Definitely Splatana Wiper as main and (Luna) Blaster as secondary, he has a quick and agressive playstyle so these are the weapons he usually goes for (also his aim is absolute dog with chargers and splatlings are a little bulky and slow for him, he can use shooters when needed but he doesnt find them interesting to play)

Link:

Probably sticks with a vanilla Splat Charger, likes to play support/backline but still pressures the opposite team quite a bit whilst staying out of fire himself. Other than his proficiency with his main weapon he probably has some practice in with other weapon classes as well. (This is because he works for Ammo Knights hihi)

I'd imagine him being kind of well known for his absolutely bonkers k/d ratio because of his high awareness playstyle but he would definitely have the dumbest deaths in practice :')

Zel:

Zel is a HUGE fan of heavy weaponry like this woman is absolutely insane about them and practices every single one she can get her hands on but her main weapon of choice in battle would probably be a Dynamo Roller or a Nautilus when she's feeling extra silly... as for why its mainly because it helps her stay physically strong and uhhh lifting super heavy weapon in practice means she doesnt have to go to the gym often

A4:

Definitely shooter class weapons, probably sticks to something like an N-Zap, Splash-o-Matic, Splattershot and Splattershot Pro but is quite handy with a Squiffer when needed. I imagine at some point A4 and Link would switch roles just before a match to confuse the opponent (very silly behaviour)

BONUS!!!!!!!! These are characters which i havent really thought of in a competitive sense or havent developed yet

itll be very messy going forward mainly because i want to yap so hard about these little inkfish thumbs up

Fern:

Fern doesn't really play that much but would probably prefer Dualies, not sure which but she'd probably switch it up sometimes

Violet:

Brella 100% (i dont know how to explain it i just feel it in my bones) her Brella would probably be decorated to the max literally her pride and joy (also known as her favourite fashion accessory as she's too busy with her job to actually use it in battle :( boowomp)

Amber: (<- Arsenic's younger sister!!!)

Brella/Bucket, i haven't really thought of her in battle but she'd probably just mess around a ton lol

Ise Rotag:

Ise was originally the character that was Link's like future partner??? their story was really nice but he got replaced by Arsenic after i abandoned the two for a few months and decided to revive Link again (you will see Ise more btw i fucking love his design and cuntyness) FOR THE WEAPON! Probably an Inkbrush honestly this guy loves to be annoying and sneak up on backliners when they least expect it, plays very aggressively as well... also his name has a really funny origin and if youre able to guess it ill uhh idk good job

I have 3 other characters but they all dont have names so uhm yeah ill just go quickly through these

oc based on coroika, inkling, probably something backline, dont imagine them in battle often

waiter, octoling, grim blaster (or so me from 2 years ago wrote down)

shut-in, inkling, new squiffer (again according to notes left to their design drawings)

2&3 were together and 1 was a sona for shits and giggles but uh theyll come back someday!! i promise!!! like their designs and relationship dynamics too much!!! they might even be Ise's new teammates!!!

[literaphobe]

Also what you said in your tags about older fanfics — so true that sometimes it’s hard to figure out if something's “popular” (defining as high kudos/comments count) because it is from Ye Olden Fandom days and/or continuously got new chapters (and thus, comments) over time or if it's really. a fandom classic. Either way the MLB fandom has a bunch of amazing and talented writers and we're lucky to have so much (diverse in genre and style) material in both canon and especially fandom! And I hope you can publish your WIP(s?) soon, I loved the snippets you posted!!!

(And btw this is absolutely not meant to shit on popular fics!!! To me personally it’s sometimes hard to enjoy a story that’s set in canonverse but at this point in time diverges so much from canon, because canon has, logically, expanded since 2016; but like I said one of the upsides of a large fandom is that there's something for everyone)

(and can someone PLEASE explain the Bat Family Crossovers there's just so MANY)

Anyways sorry for spamming your inbox but!! Happy 8th anniversary to all fellow “new” fans I hope we only get more passionate and annoying over time <3 (2/2)

omg no i totally get what you mean!! and even if something that’s popular is good not everything is for everyone!!!! you can dislike things that other people like and its all perfectly fine as long as we are all somewhat kind to each other ^_^

i also agree that its awesome having such a talented fandom!! big too for the most part so HEHE!! ive read some life changing things and also know theres so much out there that i havent read that id LOVE if i read!!!!

i also hope i can publish my WIP soon i have been working on it since um. late december last year/january this year KFKSKDKDJ ITS UM. its been a while. But i promise i am speeding it up and will be somewhat hopefully done soon!!!!! its gonna be like 12 chapters, i just started ch9, and um currently i have over 90k words written??? GET READY TO BE STUFFED LMAOOO im shoving these words down ur throats and i hope u guys like it…. First fic for a fandom is always so unnerving u never know how something’s gonna be perceived BUT IM GLAD U R INTERESTED ANON MWAH MWAH

bat family thing um. well. marinette is based on spiderman. so um. uh. superheroes…? (i have Not read any of them)

HAPPY 8TH ANNIVERSARY TO US NEW FANS FR WHO HAVE NOT SUFFERED IN THE SAME WAY AS MOST FANS. also anon u r not spamming me i LIVE to answer asks

[eggbagelz]

Any Nightcrawler fic recs? I’m partial to Nightcrawler/wolverine but will take what I can get :0

YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE BC I HAVE NINE OF THEM [and one of my own. Tee hee] [also watch out for. Cough. Smut in some of these dw I'll warn u]

Firstly we have the stellar More Than Genetics, which is like. THE logan/kurt fic. If you havent read it im making u read it right now. There IS smut but its easily skippable

The Process of Getting Lost is the first logan/kurt fic i ever read and it holds a very special place in my heart. Also it involves a roadtrip what more could u want

To Live Without You Would Only Mean Heartbreak For Me is my absolute FAVORITE logurt fic, it's domestic and sweet and silly and it's exactly what i envision their relationship would be like. Its also got my favorite depiction of logan in it

In the Still of the Night is a short fic involving a library and a pining logan

A Perfect Fit involves discussing the difficulties of shaving while mutant. It's also STUPIDLY sweet and i fucking love the idea of intimacy thru such an ordinary act [watch out for the spicy bit at the end]

though i walk through the valley of the shadow of the death is a fic my best friend wrote! It's set after the events of the search for nightcrawler and GOD is it lovely [hes @bear-wizards btw. Go send him some love]

9 to 5 is an au where logan runs a sex shop. Need i say more. [There's no smut EXACTLY but like. Sex shop au. You get my point.] It's incredibly well written and funny as hell i definitely suggest reading it if ur interested

Some Like It Hot, written by the same author who brought us 9 to 5, is a western au and involves kurt in drag. Like their other fic, it's well written and funny, and also gives an ENDEARINGLY dorky logan for extra flavor

Things about you is my silly little five hundred word minific that's full of nothing but banter and light hearted fluff

[yuukei-yikes]

Ok after your whole “shintaro misogyny” “shinaya?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??????!,!,?,?,?,?,?,,,” rant (loved btw, Jin stop making ur female characters rely on male counterparts, stop making your male characters hate women or believe they are incapable challenge), how do you feel about Kanoshin. I know you have talked about it before but like, idk, talk about it again lol.

Kano “I can fix him” Shuuya? Or Kano “I can make him worse” Shuuya.

JQKEOEKDWODIEID MY WHOLE "SHINTARO MISOGYNY" AND "SHINAYA?!?!?!?!?" thats so funny i didnt MEAN for it to be a rant. i was just venting 💔 BUT THANK U FOR LOVING IT BC I FUCKING LOVE TALKING ABOUT THAT BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY BOTTLED UP FEELINGS.

man. kanoshin. i dont think they're an i can fix him or i can make him worse duo. i dont think they are together FOR each other, they're together for their personal gratification if that makes sense??? at least that's how it starts. like they rly feed off of each other's worst coping mechanisms and validate themselves thru that. but through doing this obviously cant help to get to know each other and shintaro is pathetically laughing at kano's jokes and kano is pathetically kicking his feet and twirling his hair at shintaro groaning pathetically on the ground abt god knows what (NEVER forget this novel 7 moment)

also its so funny how often in the novels shintaro just physically throws himself on the ground to start moaning and groaning whenever he gets embarrassed. he's such a fucking freak. like who the fuck does that

shintaro and kano in the seventh novel are so insanely gay it's SO fucking good. THE BIT WHERE SHINTARO SMILES AT KANO AND KANO'S LIKE HUH...THAT'S HOW HE USED TO SMILE AT AYANO... HE ALWAYS HAD THIS SPECIAL SMILE FOR HER, AND NOW HE'S SMILING JUST LIKE THAT TO ME... like GIRLLLL *EXPLODES THEM WITH MY MIND* there is seriously no heterosexual explanation for any of that. god the seventh novel is so so so good. all of them are so good i wonder why it's the least consumed kagepro media they're SUPERIOR. the novels my #1 forever i fucking love them.

anyways. im normal erm kanoshin hehehehehehehhehe i think they're both far too terrified and disgusted abt their feelings for each other to consider stuff like "i can fix him" or "i can make him worse" YOU GET WHAT IM SAYING??? on this subject specifically, shintaros self hatred comes from well everything bitch hates himself but if we're talking abt kanoshin. 1. its ayanos brother. even if we dont even look at shinaya ever being romantically involved in the first place, THIS IS WEIRD TO HIM. 2. internalized homophobia arc☝️☝️☝️🙏🙏🙏👍👍👍👍💯💯💯

the fic i drew fanart of a couple days ago is SO *EATS IT EATS IT EATS IT* or also a soulmate au that i havent read in aaaages and also never finished but in that one shintaro was already out as bi... sadly both are aus WHICH DOESNT make them bad, aus are awesome but the things I'd do for content like that set post str. please. *bite bite bite bite bite* srry i bring these fics up cuz hehehe internalized homophobia shintaro is so good

maybe kano would eventually set for i can make him worse but it's in an attempt of scaring shintaro away. he's like im gonna self sabotage so much to make sure he stays away from me but shintaro is STILL here looking pathetic and kano's like god DAMMIT. erm. yeah.

btw now for me being crazy (tw me using shintaro as a stress toy to make me laugh): i think post str shintaro is not AS BAD with being absolutely fucking insufferable abt his whole guys rule girls drool thing because my man's had a little time to grow (ignores shinaya chapter in the eighth novel so i don't go insane with anger). i think post str shintaro makes 1 sexist comment and the entire mekakushi dan just fucking freeze for a moment. and give him an intervention and force him to say im sorry women and ever since then is more mindful of his actions. sorry i have to be delusional and believe this or else I'd just fucking hate his ass. im sorry shinaya i love you but *burns novel 8 shinaya chapter*

shintaro's messy relationships post str is my favorite stress toy btw. relationship with ayano crumbles. starts WHATEVER THAT IS with kano. in the self hatred confusion and internalized homophobia and etc the situation causes him (situation being gf dumped me bc im selfish so i hate myself / i kissed a boy a couple times so i hate myself) he desperately turns to the next closest Female(?) Counterpart with the following thought process "Pfff well i am so straight and SO capable of holding a normal relationship and i can PROVE IT there is one person who is 1. girl enough 2. apparently okay with me being a selfish asshole and consuming all their energy with my bullshit". so the solution is obvious to shintaro. just date takane.

turns out hitting on your best friend who also happens to be ur other best friend's gf is not good for either one of these relationships. so his friendship with not only takane but also haruka crumbles too in response and its so awkward. takane bc 1. i dont feel this way abt you and I'd treat the situation sensibly if i didnt know you well enough to know you dont actually like me that way and ur just taking me for granted like youve been doing all this time which WAS pissing me off and on its way to eventually explode but THIS....??? and haruka 2. YOU JUST HIT ON MY GIRLFRIEND?? (shintaro would be like maaan why did you tell haruka. and harutaka are like *slam door on his face*) situation drives shintaro to possibly end up kissing kano again. 🤨

its so hilarious. to me at least. ITS FINE he will get over it and makeup with everyone but i like making him suffer 👍 this is what you get shintaro. What do you have to say to the women in the world. apologize. say im sorry women. say it. say it and I'll leave you alone. sorry i went a little crazy in the end

[carbuckety]

💌 <3

HEHEHEHE

ok wellllll what can i say that i havent said before... b you are such a cool and interesting and kind and funny person and your friendship means the whole entire world to me... you are always there to listen to me, and we have so many things in common like my FAVORITE thing is just talking endlessly with u about our favorite guys because we always have soooo much to say!!! you have such an interesting perspective and outlook on life and your advice is always so helpful and i appreciate it sooooooo much

did i mention that you are absolutely hilarious bc i think that is very important . u never fail to make me smile or squeal and kick my feet when i read your tags...and also youre right about everything... that must be very hard but you always manage

you are like my cheerleader too!!! sharing my writing and art with you is so nice because i know that youll always have a kind word to say.

and i LOVE reading and seeing the art YOU make bc u are such an artistic person!!! and like, omg, like i LOVE when you send me your doodles like of the band you are such a good artist you just totally Get them and capture ppl with very distinct faces like richard and robbie, super easily and recognizably, i could go on for eveerrrrr but yes i appreciate your art endlessly btw yayy

WATCHING MOVIES WITH U IS SO FUN ALSO like i know we just started doing that but i have the time of my life x) watching the last waltz for the first time with u was like religious experience im so happy that was my first watch cause having u freaking out right next to me was the BESTEST EVER

Honestly i cant express just how happy being your friend makes me :) u are such a strong person, thank u for being a pal, i appreciate you ENDLESSLY and i am always here 4 u just like ur always here 4 me

[just-some-random-blogger]

hello! so ill start with that very daemon idea that has him as the canter. so idk? get ready? love letter under the ***

deamon x reader who's his wife (prob newlywed). there is some kind of a fight (tourney? war?) and she has to be by his side. during the action deamon gets distracted and stops keeping an eye on the reader bc he's too busy and also knows she's excellent with her sword. however, she gets injured, badly but not deadly.

and when every relative blames him for not protecting her, when each lady whispers to her friend or her husband that it was him who practically killed the princess, that's when he realise she's not a swordswoman anymore. they were childhood friends and they used to run the forest together, play smth stupid and do the shit children do. they used to have lots of sword-fighting, she was just as good as he if not better, but they're not children anymore.

that's when it strikes him. she's a woman, she's his wife, she's supposed to give him his heirs (prob on the wedding night he was too drunk to either be turned on or to remember), she has no right to even think about a sword not that she can so much as hold it. so now he has to live with this realisation when ever since their very wedding his mind hasn't digested a thought of his childhood friend (mb also his minor ex-crush) being his wife, and he has to comfort/take care of/accept his wife.

(in my head it's something long or having more than 1 part but it's absolutely understandable if you see it another way/do not see at all. hope u liked it a little and really hope to see it written by your talented hands someday. absolutely not obligatory. dont ever feel pressed. its ok if you can't/need much time/anything else. your comfort is the priority)

***

love for m hottie-cutie! 'have you ever watched aristocats?' i think i did but i dont remember TT but i love the atmosphere. mari(?) seems so girlboss. 'i have something to look forward to now i have to finish my activities' it ok TT im not telling you to watch it rn? it was merely a question? good luck w/the midterms! youll do it! and do it great! 'though i managed to make a pedro fic' oh these simps.... you havent even watched tlou why? when? what? how? only wrong answers.... (sorry, its kinda meme, it has no story, this phrase is the very meme) 'its not hot. your freezy kisses did that' YEY all those witch playlists made me a witch! 'im just really hungry but this is making me emotional' my poor hungry kid TT why r u always hungry while answering me? hope you eat? 'you like shadow and bone too' well khm.... i never watched it or read it... ive heard of it, and then i got a fic recommended with this handsome face of ben. and also the youtube girl that made my fav playlists has a playlist dedicated to darklina? so i was like why not? i finally listened to it. its pretty but its russian sorry. btw!!! this is the only one (1) playlist in rus dedicated to 'sab' that i found?? wtf?? guys like its literally the series gods SCREAMED you to make playlists abt the show with the rus setting w/rus songs? but you? dont? theyre insane i swear! 'you can understand the russian stuff' 1) ive done a research to find out this 2) i was SO confused bc there are russian callings in EVERY fic ive read. like its darkling/reader and he says milaya/moya lyubov'/lapushka and so on (honey, my love, ?sweetie?). tbh its pretty awkward to insert your name with any character who knows rus bc... like i know (s)he knows we know that we can speak russian but still speak english with some rus words of endearment... its not a complaint, just my feelings in my very case. i understand that authors shouldnt think about how that particular slavik girls gonna feel abt it. 'i think slay' its not like about breaking the stereotype? or smth? these are just mistakes. BIG and noticeable mistakes. russian has its forms, traditions and rules. why couldnt the author ask smn at least slavic TT we have the same system. 'i dont know enough about russian' they just swapped the genders of their last names. they dont fit their own... 'how dare he be so hot' so true TT hes so handsome i can cry. 'she is israelli-american interesting' yes but WHY couldnt she ask smn slavic TT girlie TT like she had all the rights to write with the inso of rus setting but?if you use the lang? in the BOOK? like text? girlie like log in into some forum TT or smth TT why not TT my day was a flop. awful. procrastinating. hope you do better. have a nice day and the whole week!! good luck w/the midterms! take care! luv u<з

HI BABY CAKES

hello! so ill start with that very daemon idea that has him as the canter. so idk? get ready? love letter under the ***

HIHIHIHH OMG IM SO EXCITED HAHA

deamon x reader who's his wife (prob newlywed). there is some kind of a fight (tourney? war?) and she has to be by his side. during the action deamon gets distracted and stops keeping an eye on the reader bc he's too busy and also knows she's excellent with her sword. however, she gets injured, badly but not deadly.

I ALREADY LOVE IT LOVE SIMP DAEMON SO MUCH SIMP SIMP SIMP but omg reader gets injured

and when every relative blames him for not protecting her, when each lady whispers to her friend or her husband that it was him who practically killed the princess, that's when he realise she's not a swordswoman anymore. they were childhood friends and they used to run the forest together, play smth stupid and do the shit children do. they used to have lots of sword-fighting, she was just as good as he if not better, but they're not children anymore.

SLAY WE LOVE CATHARSIS we love that daemon thought so highly of her albeit was disillussioned.

that's when it strikes him. she's a woman, she's his wife, she's supposed to give him his heirs (prob on the wedding night he was too drunk to either be turned on or to remember), she has no right to even think about a sword not that she can so much as hold it. so now he has to live with this realisation when ever since their very wedding his mind hasn't digested a thought of his childhood friend (mb also his minor ex-crush) being his wife, and he has to comfort/take care of/accept his wife.

huh plot twist? he wants reader to... be a housewife? because that's her purpose. i mean, daemon isnt a feminist so ig it makes sense for him. but also i like it. i like how somehow this whole mess is his fault because he wanted his wife to me at his side, though she wasnt a swordsman and now shes injured. now he's realizing he lives in his head more than reality, a slap in the face. i like it.

(in my head it's something long or having more than 1 part but it's absolutely understandable if you see it another way/do not see at all. hope u liked it a little and really hope to see it written by your talented hands someday. absolutely not obligatory. dont ever feel pressed. its ok if you can't/need much time/anything else. your comfort is the priority)

idk if i could right this, tbh. i would love it if you wrote it but i think i know your answer. i personally dont know how i would spin this so T_T guess we'll see

***

love for m hottie-cutie! 'have you ever watched aristocats?' i think i did but i dont remember TT

we're so sameAHAHAHAHAHAH

but i love the atmosphere. mari(?) seems so girlboss.

SHE IS i think she is a least AHHAH

'i have something to look forward to now i have to finish my activities' it ok TT im not telling you to watch it rn? it was merely a question? good luck w/the midterms! youll do it! and do it great!

thank you!. i got my scores from the homework i dreaded to do and it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be!!! T_T love that for me im not that dumb T_T

'though i managed to make a pedro fic' oh these simps.... you havent even watched tlou why? when? what? how? only wrong answers.... (sorry, its kinda meme, it has no story, this phrase is the very meme)

T_T HIHIHASDHAHDAHDIAHD lol ill give you the real answer though, i find it taxing to watch it hhaahah i mean i have watched other pedro pascal stuff so i do actually like him lol

'its not hot. your freezy kisses did that' YEY all those witch playlists made me a witch!

T_T stopp T_T AHAHHA

'im just really hungry but this is making me emotional' my poor hungry kid TT why r u always hungry while answering me? hope you eat?

I REALIZED IT TOO HAHAHH IM NOT HUNGRY NOW THO ok maybe now that i think about it i am but its cos i usually reply to you at around lunch time-ish lol also im just a very hungry person i love eating

'you like shadow and bone too' well khm.... i never watched it or read it... ive heard of it, and then i got a fic recommended with this handsome face of ben.

AHAHAHAHAHAH HANDSOME FACE OF BEN YOURE SO REAL FOR THAT

and also the youtube girl that made my fav playlists has a playlist dedicated to darklina? so i was like why not? i finally listened to it. its pretty but its russian sorry.

i dont mind listening to songs in another language lol

btw!!! this is the only one (1) playlist in rus dedicated to 'sab' that i found?? wtf?? guys like its literally the series gods SCREAMED you to make playlists abt the show with the rus setting w/rus songs? but you? dont? theyre insane i swear!

well maybe not a lot of russians watch the show? HAHAHHA

'you can understand the russian stuff' 1) ive done a research to find out this 2) i was SO confused bc there are russian callings in EVERY fic ive read. like its darkling/reader and he says milaya/moya lyubov'/lapushka and so on (honey, my love, ?sweetie?). tbh its pretty awkward to insert your name with any character who knows rus bc... like i know (s)he knows we know that we can speak russian but still speak english with some rus words of endearment... its not a complaint, just my feelings in my very case. i understand that authors shouldnt think about how that particular slavik girls gonna feel abt it.

HAAHHAHAAH lol. i mean, as a bilingual too, i think if its tastefully done, a write can get away with foreign endearments. ya know. but i get the cringe HAHAHAH

'i think slay' its not like about breaking the stereotype? or smth? these are just mistakes. BIG and noticeable mistakes. russian has its forms, traditions and rules. why couldnt the author ask smn at least slavic TT we have the same system.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA i didnt really think it was breaking stereotypes, more just... making me happy knowing they made masc names fem AHHAHAHAHAA LOL

'i dont know enough about russian' they just swapped the genders of their last names. they dont fit their own...

LOL HAHAHAH

'how dare he be so hot' so true TT hes so handsome i can cry.

ben barnes go to jail party

'she is israelli-american interesting' yes but WHY couldnt she ask smn slavic TT girlie TT like she had all the rights to write with the inso of rus setting but?if you use the lang? in the BOOK? like text? girlie like log in into some forum TT or smth TT why not TT my day was a flop. awful. procrastinating.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA DYING 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 YOURE SO RIGHT HAHAHAH

hope you do better. have a nice day and the whole week!! good luck w/the midterms! take care! luv u<з

im doing my best but i discovered this ai chat app and im so addicted help me. i HAVE to finish my midterms tho its due today a?LSFHLAHSFDASFASf

i love you take care thank you for your love letter and your daemon prompt <3

xxxx

[totheblood]

HIII I MISS YOUR WRITING SO BAD I HOPE U POST SOON!! (TAKE YOUR TIME <3) BTW IMAGINE ME AND YOU IS FANTASTIC ITS ONE OF MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE ROMCOMS WATCH BUT IM A CHEERLEADER (ITS WLW TOO !!) IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY 💘

and please recommend some wlw movies/tv shows it's kinda hard to find a good one :/

THANK U BABY!!!!! school this week is kicking my ass but i hope to write soon! i LOVED BUT IM A CHEERLEADER, it was so funny and i loved it so bad... imagine me and you still takes the cake for me, it was just so sweet and had a happy ending which they don't give to wlws...

for my recommendations, i don't have many :(( they don't make enough but i'll share some!

killing eve - is not TECHNICALLY wlw, but it really is like just the sapphic obsession was so good and so me coded, no happy ending tho

the l word- i've started watching so i am unsure of how i feel at the moment but some of the scenes are.... like... so good

dickinson- again i have just started watching but fuckKDNWIL it's so good

haunting of bly manor- its basically a gay love story, also no happy ending but

carol- watch this movie and report back

lost and delirious- this movie... made me seriously so sick and sad but it was wlw ALSO A FUCKING TRAGEDY???? like no happy ending for gay people ever

ingrid goes west- this may not be a wlw movie but also it is and i will fight anyone who says it isnt, wanting to be the girl ur obsessed with is a gay experience

it's not a movie, it's a book but the seven husbands of evelyn hugo is my favorite sapphic book in the longest time... read that please

hoped this helped!

[itsaboutnothing]

Tag nine(9) ppl you'd like to know better ! I was tagged by @hobosailorrr which btw u should absolutely start severance asap ik u would love it its fantastic ok

Last song: oh! starving by car seat headrest i dontt listen to music during the day that much this was last night

Currently watching: not really any one show.. the bear season 2 has been the most recent!! a lot of video essays, some marble hornets?

Currently reading: also not really oone book.....1984 i am kind of just starting. but also house of leaves waiting for godot. bought a collection of antigone + oedipus the other day hope to start soon ^_^

Current obsession: sudoku literally an eternal obsession ofmine so a current one umm my cds that i havent actually had the chance to listen to yet (no car no cd player)but i like looking at them.

now your turn: @johnny-alucard @tylerdurdenwannabe @breakaway1975 @tiredeyes1975 <1975 buddies @girlbobdylan @4waystreet @vonnegutcunt @angelmotifs @theclowncowboy xoxo u dont have to but all r invited

[fabulousblackunicorn2]

sorry to overshare and i know its probably tmi but damn i need to rant

so i just had the worst fucking gynecology visit like im in legit disbelief over this doctor. he was SO rude and absolutely tactless, if i had met this man in any other circumstance i wouldve jumped his ass fr. my dad has bullied me over literally everything my entire life so im not. upset or offended by his remarks (tho a normal person would) but i am baffled

but the kicker is. turns out i have PCOS and THIS MAN DIDNT EVEN MENTION IT DURING THE VISIT. like AT ALL. he just kept telling me im fine i just need to lose weight, the entire visit was him going. you need to lose weight, you need to lose weight, why do u think ur not losing weight, ur eating too much.

i had to read i have pcos from the fucking report file, he didnt tell me i have it in person, he didn't explain what it is just that "u have some small problems but theyll go away if u lose weight" LIKE WHAT?????

i didnt feel safe at all so i didnt even mention i have a gf and i am sexually active bc like. this is a man who BTW started insulting me and pretty much calling me stupid for using an app to keep track of my period. IMAGINE TELLING THIS MAN IM GAY. so i lied which i know i shouldnt have but i was rlly uncomfortable so i just said "i havent had relations with men" and he started making some WEIRD AND GROSS AND UNCOMFORTABLE comments like how i am """ready""" for a man. im. i cant fucking believe this

[pigeonriot]

AO3 Wrapped tagged by @xagan <333

Works Published: 7 (this was the first year i posted sth since 2019 so yay!)

Total Word Count: 18,555

Hits: 3,929

Bookmarks: 96

Most Popular by Kudos: Morning Hours (The Eclipse)

Most Hits: also Morning Hours but 2nd place is The Space Between Us (Not Me) which both are fics i posted during or very close when the shows were airing lol all my not me fics ive posted way later got WAY less hits even tho i like them way more djhjshjfd than the space btw us

Longest: Parallel (Not Me)

Shortest: Against The Rules (The Eclipse)

Most Comments: after Morning Hours, The Space Between Us and Turning Point (Not Me) got the most comments

Fic that made me cry: no u guys dont understand i cry very easily i cant just choose 1 or 2 or 3 fdjjdfjhd

Fic that made me smile: ok i also cant choose just 1 or a few so next category is made up by me

Fics that made me go feral: More To Show by @inrainprose is my absolute fave not me fic of all time and also the jelupe fic some of us just had to fight (for even being looked at right) by @talaricula makes me go fdhjjhdfshjfd every time i think abt it

Gifts: didnt get any

Collaborations: havent done any bc i can barely collaborate w my own brain

Events participated in: one year of not me

Most Underrated Fic: is this abt your own fics? if yes i would say Turning Point, which is my femmeswap!Gramblack fic that i'm very proud of but got much less hits than the other fics i posted in the same week and also my namogene oneshot You See Me (For Who I Really Am)

bc that also didnt rlly get noticed lol. if this wasnt abt my fics but others i'm sorry i never look at the hits/kudos etc of the fics i read, maybe only at other comments so i dont rlly know which of the rlly good ones ive read were vastly underappreciated (there probably are a few dfjdhjhjfd)

Coming in 2023: hopefully my gaslight gatekeep girlboss gram canon divergence (gramblack) which is currently sitting at ~20k and not halfway done dfhjdjhff, also have a 5+1 namogene fic and a 5+1 gramblack and---- there are a lot of other WIPs i havent looked at in a while fdhjhjdfjhdf

i feel like everyone got tagged already lol and if u didnt and wanna do this pls do<3

[kithtaehyung]

i havent been able to check the last 3tan fall drabble yet, especially with the busan concert 😩 so ive been avoiding your blog so to not get spoilers

but i just saw your word count for 3tan9 (forfeit?) and i just wanna say how excited i am! i cant imagine how much of an effort it is demanding from you, since you never give us nothing short of perfect, and im so grateful! it comes as no surprise you would want a break after it lol 😅, but yeah idk, just felt like thanking you! thank you to put in so much thought, to share so much of your process with us (im so happy whenever you talk about how your writing has been going), to engage so much with us and play along with our theories and our craziness, to write such great pieces and fics and storylines and arcs and developments and dynamics and urghhhhh EVERYTHING 🥺🥺😭

im sure the chapter will be amazing and super 😫🥰🥵🤠🙈 in a good way!!

you're really good to us, and i hope you can really enjoy your rest while you watch us screaming in your inbox 😂 u got an army right behind u too

btw ik im sappy as hell, damn, always reaching out with long ass asks and shit, sorry, i think im still on the edge cause of the show but that excuse only goes so far

anyways, thanks 😊

LUA you're gonna make me melt more and more with every message you send. every sentence, really. i'm just teary eyes rn i'm lucky i took pics before seeing this bc it finished me!!

it's okay! the drabble will still be there whenever you're ready to read. no rush at all, just enjoy when you can :D

forfeit is gonna be humongous omfg. and to make sure all of it is worth the wait, i do admit that it's a bit stressful on top of being just fun and comforting to write<3 it's been 3 months since the last major drop, so i feel like this needs to be super good! the break is gonna be muuuch needed :'))

oh my gosh, it's never dealing with y'all! i love interacting. it's a joy not a chore. thank you for being here with me and sending all the theories and encouragement and whatever else, truly. it makes my day to see y'all caring about this series as much as i do. tbh i had a little moment today in my car, just overwhelmed with how grateful i am to have bangtan, and 3tan, and y'all in my life. this year has been absolutely incredible and i can't believe i'm just now stopping to reflect on it.

just like in fireworks, when reader says being nostalgic for the same moment you're living? that's how i feel now. because the moments we're living now are my favorites.

i can't even describe how your army comment made me feel. just.. thank you. reaching out to hug you so tight🫂 y'all mean the world to me, and i know i say that often but i really do mean it.

sappiness makes me melt!! thank you for sending this bc i needed it. you're amazing, you know that?

[aloverpriedout]

Im gonna ramble about gender just need to vent feel free to ignore it but if u have some advice uh pls? help?

...

So Ive been questioning my gender lately and honestly its been gettin increasingly annoying to try and talk to people about it. And I havent been talking to cishet people btw

I start to explain what lead me to question my gender, how I spent a week dressing and behaving in stereotypical "male" form and how I liked it. The overwhelming reaction has been "the things that you said made you question your gender arent specific to guys" and "gender is a social construct you dont have to be restrained by it"

Just to be clear, the things I described were: using clothes from my male friends, not using any makeup, always be using a sports bra so flatter chest, no water to shower so always sweaty and hairy, just hanging out with guys while drinking beers, getting euphoric feeling when somwone told me my voice sounded deeper, getting euphoric feeling when sitting down and realized I was manspreading and it kinda seemed like there was something in my pants, hearing a trans gay guy describe how one way he knew he was trans was that he didnt feel like he liked man the way women do and relating, feeling euphoric when using a strap-on,...

I feel like all of these things combined are a strong indicator but everytime I try to have this conversations people get stuck in the "a girl can do all those things they arent specific to guys" and "gender is a social construct you can just dismiss it :)" argument. Ive tried to explain that yes of course it is but i dont wanna dismiss it! i like to be called pretty boy and boyfriend and dude it makes me happy! Being a girl with underarm hair is cool but u know what would be cooler? being a guy with underarm hair!! They just go back to explaining why gender is a framework that u dont have to exist in

I think theyre just really passionate about the way they interact with gender? or maybe theyre scared I havent thought about that possibility and are trying to get me to see all possibilities? I just feel like people should be more careful with that stuff because it just comes out as dismissive.

Ive always been playful with gender and never enforced gender roles or signifiers and Ive always identified as queer which in my mind extended to gender stuff. But to openly say that I might be trans is hard and the way people are dealing with it is not making it easier

anyway thats all rant over

...

actually rant not over I lied. This is hard to say because I absolutely love my gf but she has been uh not completely cool?

As soon as my gf showed an interest in girl clothes i gave her my clothes to try on, and I started using more girly ways to adress her (like calling her pretty instead of handsome) so she could see how she felt, and I avoided any type of negative comment when related to an expression of femininity. Basicay I just tried to make it a safe space for experimentarion.

Meanwhile when I shaved my head my gf said "you almost look like a boy! Thank god u dont actually look like one or we would have to break up". I just feel like thats the type of thing you should be careful with. That set me back a whole year on experimenting with gender. It really hurts that she was so careless when shes supposed to know how important this stuff is

....

Ok rant over now no one has to read it Im just used to talking to my gf about this but its not really an option now so Im writing it out