#btw this is the second health issue of the month

[holocene-sims]

people you'd like to get to know better

i was tagged by @stargazer-sims @nectar-cellar & @simulation-machine - thank you so much!! 💗💗 not totally sure who all has and hasn't done this yet, so feel free to ignore! but i'll tag: @mangosimoothie @happy-lemon @windermeresimblr @minty-plumbob @igglemouse 💌

last song: accidentally in love by counting crows

favorite color: it's hard to pick tbh - either green, purple, or black!

currently watching: nothing but youtube videos that serve as my entertainment while i cook & eat dinner. the last videos i watched were (1) about the terrible state of dam infrastructure in america, and (2) a skyrim retrospective

last movie: oppenheimer! i saw it twice in theaters lmao - on release day with my parents and then on the VERY last day with a friend. and yes, of course i also saw barbie :)

currently reading: the odyssey & franz kafka's metamorphosis in the original german

sweet/spicy/savory: oh, spicy all the way! i prefer my food so spicy it could melt my face off

last thing i googled: "which mtDNA mutations cause leber's optic neuropathy?" (yes this is for a class sjdjskds)

current obsession: um,,,the cream soda dr. pepper

currently working on: surviving lmaooo. i was working on tag games, answering asks, catching up on simblr stuff & some story posts to add to the queue because it's ending soon-ish, but i've been derailed by constant chaos, assignments, and me getting a nasty respiratory virus this week

[petitgalaxy]

..

[angels-fantasy]

Girl let me just say your fics are superb and thanks for the quirkless child one I requested with Bakugou! I promise I’ll leave you be for a bit in a second, but… post final war; everyone who has came out alive clearly is suffering from injuries, health issues, and trauma (both physical trauma and mental trauma) no? So how about a Bakugou x Reader with a reader who was essentially Bubbly, Firery and Energetic, to after the war who is exhausted, is often having nightmares over Bakugou cause well he nearly died, sleep deprived and basically depressed because I can guarantee nobody should be sane after a war, especially not children like our lovely highschoolers. Please make it angst to comfort, because seeing how Bakugou also has developed I’m sure as sad as he would be he would also be understanding and try to be comforting (despite his awkwardness). I’d appreciate if you could get this done to be as close as possible (and maybe just a little long than the one I requested last time- no pressure) BUT if anything you find in my request may be too triggering or something feel free to make it less triggering and change it, I just ask if you can keep the same vibe and theme with the reader who changed drastically after the wars and is getting comforted by Bakugou, Angst to comfort (duh), thank you so much, and I hope I’m not troubling you too much! — An anon who enjoys suffering, angst, and comfort ((SAC) Anon); (get it? Suffering, Angst, Comfort, SAC, wait that has a good ring to it, damn I have a new alias, I’ll shut up now)

I'm Okay, As Long as He's Here (Request)

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Details/Warnings: reader has a panic attack and nightmares!! pls be weary of this. angst to fluff, well, my attempt at angst lol

Word Count: 1k

thank you for your request and the support :D it means a lot to me 🩷 btw don't ever feel like you're bothering me or like you need to leave me alone! i like talking to everyone :) also this is a good little plot, but im not the best at writing angst but this is helping me improve i think, so please tell me how i did! i really hope you like it SAC anon hahah

Before the war, you were a different person. Looking at you now, no one would ever guess you were once a bubbly, out going person. But Katsuki knew you were, and sometimes, he missed the old you.

It was hard to watch you wake up crying in the middle of the night from your horrible nightmares of the war. Some being about his near death experience, and others being about him dying in other ways.

Some nights, you didn't sleep at all, and it was really showing.

"Hey, keep your head up. I don't want you to fall asleep." Katsuki said. It was already months after the war, so you were all back at school, but you were one of the few students that was struggling the most.

He definitely has his struggles too, but he knew he had to be there for you, because yours were much worse.

You opened your eyes wider, trying your best to stay awake. "Sorry. I couldn't sleep last night."

"You havin' nightmares again?"

You nodded, he sighed.

"Come sleep in my dorm tonight. You sleep better with me and you know it."

You agreed and continued trying your best to stay awake for the rest of the day. Occasionally, Katsuki would have to wake you up or remind you to stay awake. The lack of sleep made it hard to focus, especially in Hero Training. Thankfully, Mr. Aizawa and the rest of the teachers were understanding of the students who were struggling.

Once school was over it felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You knew you had homework to do, but right now you'd rather sleep. Or at least attempt to. Since you were going to be with Katsuki tonight, you were probably only going to have one nightmare. Plus, he'd be there to comfort you.

Following your boyfriend to his dorm room, you immediately changed into some of your clothes that he had there for you, and then laid down on his bed.

For a while, you just silently watched him as he sat at his desk and did his homework, something you should also be doing.

"What're you starin' at?"

You smiled, but not as brightly as before, "I'm just admiring you."

He huffed, "Good, I'm awesome."

Rolling your eyes, you said, "And there he is."

He laughed and continued doing his homework. You just continued watching him, because it was something that comforted you. It was a reminder that he was okay and alive.

Knowing he was safe right in front of you, you fell asleep.

...

You didn't know what time it was, but it must've been late since the room you were in was dark.

You clutched your chest as you sat up in bed and breathed heavily, feeling tears prick your eyes.

Of course, you had another nightmare again. This one in particular was about Katsuki, and he was in the arms of Shigaraki. You saw the villain use his Decay quirk on him, and your boyfriend began to crumble away but you were paralyzed in your dream. There was nothing you could do.

The nightmare felt so real and so scary, like they usually do. You felt so helpless and scared. The evil that emitted from Shigaraki and All For One was something you'd always remember.

You subconsciously began to rock yourself back and forth and made self soothing noises as you continued to have a panic attack. They never got easier, or less scary as time went on. It always felt like you were going to die.

Your panic must've woke Katsuki up, because you suddenly heard his voice calling out to you.

"Hey, hey! Breathe baby, you gotta breathe." He said.

You shook your head, "I-I can't! It hurts. I'm scared, I'm gonna die!"

He carefully grabbed your hands and held them in his. He took one of them and brought it to his chest near his heart so you could feel it beat.

"What is my heart doing right now?" He asked. This was a method he used to ground you during these situations, especially because he knew how you felt about him and his safety.

You looked at his chest, "Beating. Your heart is beating."

"Right. Now what do you feel here?" He asked, now placing a hand on the blanket that was on top of you guys.

"The blanket."

"What does it feel like?"

"It's soft and fluffy."

As he continued distracting you from your panic, you eventually calmed down. You were still crying a bit, but he held you in his arms as you let it out.

"He killed you Katsuki. I was so scared, and I couldn't do anything!" You cried into his chest.

He rubbed your back, "You know that shit isn't real, no matter how real it feels. I'm right here living and breathing. I'm safe, okay?"

You nodded and sniffed, "Okay." You placed a hand on his chest over his heart and felt it beat, the steady rhythm of it comforting you.

Katsuki grabbed that hand and kissed the palm of it, "Love you. I'll be here all night, 'kay?"

"I love you too. Thank you."

"It's no problem."

The next morning, you felt more rested than usual. It must've been because you only had one nightmare, which was an improvement.

You noticed you woke up before your boyfriend, so you just let him sleep a little longer while you got on with your morning routine. You had a lot of your own things in his room, including an extra toothbrush which you were thankful for.

When he eventually woke up, he walked over to you and hugged you tightly.

"You feelin' okay?" He asked.

You nodded as best as you could in his tight grip, "Mhm."

"Be honest."

"I am! I feel a lot better than last night." You insisted as you pulled away slightly, still keeping your arms around him.

He hummed and kissed the top of your head, "Mkay. Wanna sleep with me again tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll bring more clothes later."

He smiled, "'Kay. Let's go to class." He said and threw an arm over your shoulder, making you smile up at him.

Yeah, you knew things would be okay as long as he was around.

authors note

i hope you liked it! i'm sorry it was kinda short, i've been in a little writing stump but im trying to get out of it!

love ya 🩷

tags for bakugou fics: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot

[theramusen]

EVIL DOUBLED (FNAF AU)

This was sorta just for fun while I do school and what not! AU idea where Henry and William are BOTH evil and work together!

This screenshot redraw is what started it all!

Thats William’s remnant in there btw hes sorta michael-mode rn but theyre gonna put it back in him once theyre done posing all cool- He JUST survived being springlocked for the first time

Now lets get into ref sheets! (There will be a page break after and all lore/info about the au will be down there!)

OK SO!!! The au def is similar to canon a lot and so

The MAJOR plot changes would be:

-Will and Henry BOTH get springlocked

•this fucks over Cassidy and CC being in Fredbear already though, so to solve this issue Cassidy, CC, and Charlie, will all share the puppet.

-Henry now occupies Fredbear instead, and so we now get Springtrap and Beartrap.

-William does NOT have time for the wife murder subplot, so Mrs. Afton (Clara) gets to live fully, she replaces Henry now. Diving into the duo’s blueprints and creations so she can one day stop them. She works with Michael.

-Henry’s wife is ALIVE! Her name is Dorothy and she returns to Hurricane after receiving a call from Clara. She also becomes a Henry replacement.

-Because of Clara and Dorothy’s new role, the pizza sim speach is now WAY more female rage style. This is the wrath of scorn mothers. UCN will be 100000x worse.

-Oh and no disks- William tries to push them but Henry 100% shuts them down and thinks theyre dumb.

-So fnaf 4 is JUST cc’s dying nightmare and eventually michael DOES get gas drugged and sees the nightmares but thats NOT fnaf 4 thats just a bad trip!

-Also, with William not being able to run rampant with random robot murder (Henry keeps him in check) we DO see the base finale in pizza sim.

-When we get into help wanted, ar, security breach, and ruin that follows a SECOND plot line fully separate from the first, where we see a surge of copy-cat killers (this is where we get characters like Vanessa and Jeremy, and Gregory will also be a part of this, being the main villain in Ruin now bc the Mimic was never made)

-William and Henry are a good team here, mutual bond and gain.

-William is far more explosive and emotional, his drive coming from CC’s death sorta setting off a domino effect of underlying mental health issues. He just kinda loses it. This team gives him the delusion that he may one day see CC again.

-Henry is in it bc hes a capitalist. And hey, turns out unlike electricity, theres NO remnant bill. So making all his robots run on human souls is cheaper! He doesnt really care much about charlie after like 3 months of her being dead. He knows it was William. He doesn’t care.

GENETICS?!

yeah theres genetics-

not gonna draw out the punnet squares but the colors of the characters ARE genetic traits!

Henry’s grey is a rare recessive trait. So it was EXTREMELY unlikely to pass onto Charlie. Which it didnt.

Dorothy’s green is a common dominant trait, Charlie ended up green like her!

William and Clara are BOTH purples. William is a more blue-purple, Clara is a more red-purple (commonly mistaken for pink!)

Both purples are dominant traits, so it is a 50/50 with their offspring to produce a blue-purple or red-purple.

Michael and Elizabeth both ended up red-purple!

Michael is VERY red-purple, very much almost mistaken for pink like his mom.

Elizabeth is closer to true purple than michael, but still red-purple!

CC is the only afton child to end up blue-purple! If he hadnt died he wouldve ended up being Williams favorite child!

[skellymom]

Hi, Skelly! Really random question here but I think your honestly the best person to ask on this topic. This is non-Star Wars related btw. Feel free to ignore.

I have these neighbours who arent the best of people. They got a dog 2 years ago I believe, a Belgian Shepherd. Unsurprisingly, she barks a lot.

We don't think the owners are abusing her or not feeding her or anything, just not taking her for a lot of walks. It's their first dog (the mum, dad and two sons, to be exact, none have ever had a dog before) and obviously shouldn't have gotten a Belgian Shepherd when they have a smallish backyard.

I was wondering if there was something I - or my family - could do? None of us blame the dog, just the inexperienced-ness of the family.

You don't have to reply to this, as I know its out of pocket and not what you expect. Was just curious.

Have a great day/night!

~Jamie.

P.S. My puppy had a scare last year when she was only 2 and a half months or so and we had to go to ER for her. Geez, that place is stressful so my thanks to you and your workers everywhere!

Buckle up and get comfortable, I have A LOT to say on this issue:

(TRIGGER WARNING-I WORK VETERINARY ER AND THERE WILL BE MENTIONS OF DEATH AND OTHER DARK ASPECTS OF WHAT VET STAFF SEE IN THE FIELD. Consider yourself warned. I am ranting as a PSA and FYI for those not familiar but REALLY need to know what we do! If you feel brave PLEASE give it the time to read. Thanks!!!)

OHHH, I LOVE SHEPPIES!!! They are SO smarticle, sweet, energetic...and extremely spirited. However, they DEFINITELY need exercise. More importantly, they need mental stimulation. A several mile walk is great for the body, but not something everyone can do daily. Plus, these guys are brilliant (only second to the esteemed Border Collie) and their mind is like a hamster on a wheel. So, training, commands, tricks, agility courses and anything that requires not just exercise, but mental stimulation is top priority. These guys were bred to run and think on their feet. THEY NEED A JOB! They AT LEAST (and this is foundational) NEED TO BE WALKED DAILY!!! Every dog needs to be walked daily as this also helps with bone density, muscle strength, balance, cardiovascular function, etc. Same with humans. If you don't exercise, you can become depressed, overweight, brittle bones, diabetic, constipated, and a host of other health issues later in life that cost money to regulate and fix.

Most owners buy a dog as a companion, and these guys can be amazing ones. However they aren't your lazy Golden Retrievers or Greyhounds (while sporting class they do a burst of energy and lay around a lot normally). Unfortunately, dogs not given mental stimulation will show the following behaviors: excessive barking, destructive chewing, inappropriate urination/defecation, escaping out of the yard and getting in trouble/injured, misbehavior to commands, possible self injury, and unfortunately even aggression towards people and other animal housemates. A LOT of working/sporting dogs wind up in shelters and euthanized due to these behaviors when all they needed was regular exercise, training, and mental stimulation. A LOT of regular non sporting dogs do too.

In order to keep their dog, they need to include them as a true member of the family. Plan family activities with the dog. Can they run errands with a family member who might just want to do a ride along and the dog comes with to sit in the car when the person goes in. They can also research places that allow shoppers to bring their dogs into the facility: Home Depot, Lowes, Michaels, some downtown shops in their area might allow it. Shop for dog snacks/food and take the dog with them to pick it up as many pet stores allow dogs in their store. Heck we have restaurants and coffee shops that cater to outdoor dining patrons who bring their dogs...and the dogs get spoiled too.

If their dog is too rambunctious, then they DEFINITELY NEED TO SIGN UP AND GO TO DOG TRAINING CLASSES. ALL THE CLASSES, and more than just puppy training. Really, this should be foundational too. Every dog needs training. Again, get the whole family involved, because the dog (like children and adults) need consistency and everyone needs to know what to do when walking, interacting, and commanding "Sheppie" to behave like a Good Canine Citizen. There is a a right way to train and a horrible way to reinforce negative behaviors in a canine. EVERYONE needs to put in the work. Everyone needs to feed the dog, fill it's water bowl, pick up the poop, and walk the dog. Everyone needs to play and pet the poochie. That's why you get a dog!

The family needs to do some honest soul searching to figure out if this dog and breed REALLY fits with their family dynamic. If not, they the dog should go back to the rescue or shelter (many shelters have a return clause in their paperwork that says they MUST return the dog to them. It's for safety reasons) or find a RESPONSIBLE new owner to adopt "Sheppie". There are rescues, shelters, and fosters online. Again, they took on the responsibility and they need to do their due diligence to find a good home for this living breathing animal.

Let me also debunk a horrible myth that still circulates: REHOMING YOUR ANIMAL IS NOT WRONG IF YOU CANNOT TAKE CARE OF OR PROVIDE FOR IT! Screaming it for the people in the back!!! I have been working in the vet field for over 8 years (general practice, shelter med, emergency, high volume TNR) and have seen some horrendous shit when people keep an animal that they no longer wish to interact with. It can be mild contempt for the perceived burden to downright neglect and abuse. Also, I have seen family members and household pets in danger or actually mauled from dogs that people refused to put more money/couldn't afford/didn't have time for training that kept/refused to rehome to a place with no children/no pets/etc. And, understandably, many of these people LOVED that dog and kept trying to fix the situation. But sometimes you cannot, and the aggression, destruction, ingestion of foreign objects (we have frequent visitors to my ER that have foreign body surgeries due to anxiety chewing/swallowing-some end as euthanasia's). I have had owner's come in with animals that needed to be euthanized for aggression due to high drive, with their housemate mauled, and the owner mauled and bleeding (trying to pull them apart)-all of them showing up together. We have had bored dogs jump the fence to find something interesting to do and get hung up on it, needing emergency surgery. We have had them run out into the street and hit by cars. These things happen to all dogs that require someone to tend to their needs EVERY DAY!

I had to rehome a Dutch Shepherd that we took on as a foster (from a not good situation-putting it mildly) when she tried to maul my elderly German Shepherds (and that was with daily walks, daily at home training, professional training, and veterinary medical evaluations), we found a rescue that deals with security/military breeds to take her to. Sometimes the animal you choose to have in your home may NOT FIT WITH YOUR FAMILY. It happens.

So, you asked what you can do? First, thank you for caring and wanting to do something. Second, you can print out information on local dog training places, agility, and specific breed information (Belgian Shepherds include: Malinois, Turveren, Laekenois, and Groenendael, so tailor it to what their dog is), and anything else you can think of to offer to the owner. Try to approach it as helping and not frustration. HOWEVER, I will warn you now that sometimes people are not open to outside help and will not take this positively. Even people seeking out medical veterinary help can get defensive when we try to help them. Unfortunately, nice people who take on a high drive/high energy breed for their first dog are unaware of the huge responsibility they have. And, not demonizing here, but they buy the dog with the ideal they have for themselves and forget this animal has needs and is languishing without proper care...even a mental/physical outlet. And from what I have seen, this is an epidemic. For those reading this: if you feel you have to "come at me" go volunteer at a shelter/rescue or go have a heart to heart discussion with ANY veterinary professional. If someone was entrusted as your guardian with the responsibility of your mental healthcare and didn't see to your mental health needs and you had no outlet, how would you feel?

Actually...that is happening now in epidemic proportions. It sucks, right???

I wish you luck @fionajames . It's NEVER bad to reach out and attempt to help. At least you tried and I LOVE YOU FOR IT!

[honoviadakai]

Ivan Braginsky and Autism

From what I’ve seen, a lot of people in the Hetalia fandom view Russia as a character that is autistic coded.

I agree with this idea 100%

However I don’t think Ivan would really do anything about, make a big deal of it or even get a diagnosis.

First and foremost, this man is THE personification of the entire country of Russia, mental health is not a big priority in that country. A lot of the attitude towards mental illness and neurodivergent people is very “we don’t talk about Bruno”. Basically if you don’t bring it up, talk about it or seek help, it’s not an issue. Obviously that’s very difficult because some people will require medication or therapy to be able to have some semblance of normalcy, no such services exists in Russia without having to pay exorbitant amounts of money and basically condemning yourself to a life of solitude once you start seeing a specialist.

Ivan’s case is kinda weird though. This man is over 1,000 years old and very clearly has mental issues but both he and his family just kinda view it as “shell shock” from all the fighting he had to do in the past. He shrugs it off and just kinda goes about his days and just deals with things he thinks is symptomatic of PTSD. Ivan would absolutely have PTSD too, I think pretty much all the nations have that to some degree, Ivan just doesn’t realize that having a hard time expressing yourself, having difficulty understanding people’s feeling and the almost religious need to maintain his daily routine least he gets very upset has nothing to to with the traumas of war.

Honestly it would be Arthur, Alfred and Matthew who watch his behavior and realize…there’s more going on in the big guy’s head. The North American brothers would sit there, their mental gears turning as they try to figure out what they think it could be. It’s on the tip of their tongue…but what is it??? Arthur meanwhile is just casually drinking his tea, already knowing what’s up. Once he’s done having his afternoon tea, he sets his cup down and casually remarks

“You know he’s displaying almost all of the symptoms of autism in adults, right?”

The bespectacled brother’s eyes would light up. That was it! That’s what was going on!

Alfred would most likely be the one to bring it up to the Russian man and even offer to help him get a diagnosis and any other help he’d need.

This is where the issues would start…but not necessarily in a bad way…but not in a great way either…

First of all…what the hell is that? Ivan’s never heard of that word. Is it a disease? They’d have to explain it in great detail.

Second thing that would occur is that he’d be too prideful to go in. He’s healthy, why should he go see a doctor when he hasn’t even had allergies bothered him all that much since 1912. They’d have to fight this man to the death just to get him to MAYBE think about saying yes to a consultation.

Even if they SOMEHOW managed to get him to a specialist and get a diagnosis…honestly Ivan’s response would be to just…nod at the doctor, get up, go home and just go about his life the way he always has. Again, he’s over 1,000 years old now, if this hasn’t been an issue to him before then he sees no need to see a therapist or get medication.

Not all hope is lost though. If he does get a diagnosis or even just an explanation of what autism is, it’ll be in the back of his head. The topic might not come back up for weeks, months, years, even decades…but it will come up. One day he’ll be struggling to make eye contact while talking to the Italy brothers and getting more and more anxious because he thinks they might be judging him for it (they’re not btw). So he’ll excuse himself and whip out his phone to Google wether or not he’s sick only to remember…isn’t what he just went through a symptom of that thing he got diagnosed with a decade ago? He’ll Google it and sure enough, it is indeed a symptom.

Oh.

So how does he deal with everything now? He’s supposed to be make gnocchi with Feliciano and Lovino in 15 minutes. Again he’ll just Google how to calm his nerves, take a shot of vodka from his emergency flask, smack his face and walk back in like he’s not secretly screaming on the inside.

That’s just honestly how I think Ivan would deal with any mental health diagnosis. Just Google the symptoms, Google how to deal with it, take a shot of vodka and carry on as best he can.

Is this solution perfect? Hell fucking no. But it’s unfortunately what works for him and he’s a stubborn man that will continue on as he always has. Just dealing with the crippling anxiety and feeling of isolation with booze, and the stubborn mask of a man that isn’t too bothered by anything to hide that in reality, a lot makes him anxious but he’ll be damned if he’ll admit it to anyone.

[kalisbaby]

My mom's in the ER with my sister because her (mom) sugar went up. And she hasn't been taking her medications or her insulin or gotten a new PCP after her old one suddenly up and closed his business. (Like deadass they scheduled an appointment for her and when she went they were shut down. No notices, no calls, no nothing!)

So both me and my sister are beyond frustrated and upset because she legit isn't taking care of her health and she will sit around all day in her phone and like not eat anything until one of us comes in the room and asks us to make her something. And that could be HOURS! And no matter how much I tell her to stop fasting she still does it cuz "God told her to" and not to question her faith or relationship with God but...fasting for over a year (or two idk how long at this point) for HOURS every. single. day. when you have a major health issue is ridiculous. I'm sure God didn't want her to maintain it for that long especially one where she doesn't pray or anything. She just like...watches TV and plays on her damn phone so, ma'am!, what kinda fast???

Anyway, I'm digressing.

THE POINT IS I need her to care for herself. Like I NEED her to want to do it for herself. I've said this time and time again, like it's a bad song on repeat at this point, but I cannot take care of her for herself.

I can make her meals but I can't make her eat them. I can sort out her medicines but I can't make her take them. I can see her appointments but I can't make her go to them or tell the truth while at them (a problem I also had with my dad btw. He just would not tell his doctor everything and I would be like, "Are you fr right now???" At one point the doctor just talked directly to me because my dad was acting like everything was fucking fine when it WASN'T!).

And I feel like my mom thinks we're SUPPOSED to care for her because she, and I quote, "did it for [her] mother" and yeah I get that. And honestly, I have no problems doing for my mother, but my grandmother also did for herself. When she needed help she asked for it but she was very much able to tend to her own needs up until the last few years of her life when her health deteriorated to the point where additional assistance was mandatory and we ALL helped then. (I legit flunked out of the second half of my first year of college to help my mom take care of my grandma and I still don't regret it to this day. It was a joy to care for her and to be with her in those last few months of her life.)

But my mom still has a lot of her mobility and functioning and I get that she's tired after nursing three children, two elderly parents, a husband, not to mention her actual nursing job, but I don't like her not trying. Like for HERSELF. It often feels like she's just like, "why do I have to do this when I have daughters?"

And it's like, we won't always be here. I'm here now but what about in the future? I wanna live more! I haven't even done an iota of and iota of what I want to do. And I get it, that's on me. Those are my choices and I accept them but it wouldn't be fair for me to never even try because I have to stay home and build my life around caretaking my mother while she's still relatively young and able bodied. Like if she wasn't then this wouldn't really be a discussion. I would have my frustrations,.for sure, but I would deal with them because I know my mother couldn't do for herself. But knowing that she CAN but just often WON'T??? That's a whole nother thing. A WHOLE nother thing.

I just...

I think about how ppl have repeatedly told me "there's always one that stays behind" meaning there's always a child that stays and takes care of the aging parents. And that one was my mother and I despise that saying for a plethora of reasons but mainly because people say it to me like "give up your dreams, your hopes, your goals because your life is already decided and it's taking care of your mother at the expense of everything else." It makes me bitter. And I don't deserve that. My mother doesn't deserve that.

She deserves to live her old age in peace as comfort and joy. And I deserve to live the last embers of my youth the same.

But how I do that if people are pre-determining my life to be built around someone else? Especially at the expense of the small facet of happiness I managed to eek out for myself? What cruelty!

And I still want children some day. So am I only meant to care for others and leave no care for myself??? Idk the answer to this but what I DO know is, I need my mother to get it together. To care enough about the rest of her life to want to actively live it and not just lie around wasting it away waiting for me or someone to do the very basic of shit for her.

I need her to care enough for herself. I can't do it for the both of us. I just can't. Something will eventually have to give and I fear when that time comes because I'm nto sure of what choice I'll make and I'd hate for it to be me at the risk of harming her. If that makes any sense.

I just want her to care. That's all. Just care about yourself, mommy. Love yourself enough to try. PLEASE! For the love of God, please!

[serjaimelannister]

.

in light of some Issues i am trying to get better about doing Basic Health Upkeep i really am but the state of my voicemail inbox/interactions with medical professionals over the past week is like.

my primary doctor's office: hi we're calling to cancel your appointment for the second time. yeah the one you scheduled months ago that was supposed to take place less than three hours from now and you already arranged your whole day around it/asked for the hour off from work <3 but worry not can reschedule for 2024 <333

my specialist: hiii so i know we discussed *thing I am 100% hearing about for the first time* at your last appointment but !!! i was thinking maybe you could see another specialist to order the same thing except now you're also paying another specialist. also i think you should get a brain mri but given that your insurance barely covered basic blood tests i'm guessing it would bankrupt you so let's hold off on that for now

my therapist: hmm so you said you like taking walks right. maybe it would help to take another walk :) i charge $250 per 50 minutes before insurance btw

[severeprincesheep]

My comment on Michael Mosley's documentary Eat, Fast, Live Longer

This documentary almost perfectly illustrates why fasting is not such a great idea, as I've discovered at my own cost.

Michael Mosley was diagnosed with too much visceral fat (that's the kind that kills you) and was either diabetic or pre-diabetic. He watched his father die of this disease so he was deeply concerned. Diabetes tends to be regarded as an incurable, chronic, fatal disease, so he decided to speak to some of the world's leading experts on gerontology (that's the science of aging) to see what could be done.

Fasting came up as a strong contender. Under Valter Longo's guidance and supervision he underwent a rigorous four day fast, no food, only water. At the end of that fast every single symptom of his disease had massively improved. Valter even bragged that if Michael could find some other way to get that much improvement in such a short space of time, without taking any pills or causing him any harm, that he would be very interested to hear about it. All he had to do was forego eating four days in a row, every month.

However not even a month later all his symptoms were back and worse than ever. Which means that arguably not only was fasting not the solution but it even worsened the condition. Michael didn't confront Valter with this but he also never bothered to investigate any further in that general direction.

Instead he turned to another expert, Canadian scientist Krista Varady who assured him that it's possible for you to eat whatever diet you want - including fast food! - and never have to fast... as long as you do a type of modified fast every week, where on two non-consecutive days of the week (say, on Tuesdays and Fridays) you have only one small meal.

Michael modified this strategy (he is a doctor after all, he can't tell people to eat fast food) and turned this into a wholesome Mediterranean diet of three meals a day made from real food, with absolutely no snacking; and then on "fasting" days one healthy 500 calories meal, like an omelet. He calls it the 5:2 Fast.

By following this self-imposed regimen he swears he's lost all the extra weight in visceral fat that his doctors wanted him to lose and was cured of his diabetes, and he has the medical tests to prove it.

This only goes to show that it really is true what they say that it's not crash diets or indeed crash fasts, but rather what you eat every day consistently that matters. It's not fasting or how rigorously you do it or how often that will fix your dietary issues, but rather figuring out what you should be eating on a daily basis.

And this is where I diverge from him, because as most doctors he is an unquestioning believer in a plant-based diet and I, like so many other people, find that I can only cope with a carnivore diet with little to no plants. All plants give me symptoms, all plants make me sick, fiber especially.

Even though as noted he is never confrontational with the doctors and researchers who extolled the benefits of fasting to him he is far from being the only one to have discovered that fasting can be counter-productive. Dr. Elizabeth Bright is point blank anti-fasting, and she's specialized in women's health.

Speaking for myself when I tried fasting it made me physically and mentally dysfunctional. I believe that a great deal of the pain I had to endure was due to accumulation of oxalates in my body and to a phenomenon called "oxalate dumping" (Sally Norton talks about this extensively) where years of accumulated oxalates in your body starts getting dumped out when you stop all intake of plant foods. I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone (BTW, the solution is to have a cup of black tea, that contains a lot of oxalates and so halts the process).

As for my mental health it was as though there was a second brain inside me that couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I could not smile. It was like being buried in a tomb. When the fast was finally over that second brain was in disbelief, as if it had never understood that yes of course the fast would be over eventually. In other words, fasting made me clinically depressed throughout its duration. I will never do it again. I lost my voice and when it came back it was cracked for many weeks. I sounded like a little old lady.

As is always the case, going in I had absolutely no clue that any of this could happen even though I swear I read one book and watched literally dozens of videos on the subject before I gave it a try. People are never warned about downsides. Diets are cults and those who recommend them NEVER warn anybody about the negatives, they always portray their diet/god or regimen/religion as ideal. I even remember someone claiming that you don't regain the weight you lose through fasting. That's a lie of course, and understand that if that were the case it would be a terrible, crippling outcome. You only become a diabetic when all your fat cells are so full that they can't take in any more energy. Even though no one wants to be fat losing this ability only means becoming a diabetic sooner.

TL;DR, maybe fasting is useful when your diet is so toxic to you that going off it completely brings you instant relief. If there is anything in your diet that you're allergic to, halting all food will quite naturally heal you but starving yourself because you can't handle your diet is not sustainable. Sooner or later you're going to have to eat something that your body can handle. You don't owe it to a toxic diet to eat it and then deal with the consequences by starving yourself. You have to find out what food it is that you're allergic to and then exclude it.

That's what the carnivore diet is for, it's essentially an all-meat elimination diet. For a month or two you just eat meat and the fat of animals, some salt, a lot of water, that's it. Lots of people eliminate dairy as well, as it's a well known allergen. Then you start re-introducing plant foods back into your diet, just one food at a time, to see how your body responds. Lots of people find they can never have plant foods again. I'm sorry that Michael will never try this because of his prejudices as a doctor, but there it is.

[cant-get-no-worse]

https://www.tumblr.com/cant-get-no-worse/732991722584440832/we-should-sell-pedri-while-we-can-still-get-money i'm aware that it's a controversial stance and everyone will think i'm wack but he's one of the few players we have that we can get a profit from by selling.

it's not his fault he was overworked as a teenager but it IS a fact that he's injured often and that he takes months at a time to recover. he's fantastic when he's there but im worried that he can't be there for us most of the time when we need him

this isn't hate towards him btw just expressing a personal opinion

Not at all! On the contrary, I find it interesting and healthy to be able to talk about such topics, more so that I completely understand where you're coming from, since I've got the same worries.

To expend briefly on what you've mentionned (overworked part), I found quite interesting the declarations of Pau Torres' (player for Spanish NT).

Essentially, Torres explains that after the Euro 2021 (june - july 2021), during the Olympics (july - august 2021), the Spanish NT didn't had an adapted alimentation that high-level athletes should have. Thrown into this, you have to consider Pedri's situation : at 18, he :

he's already a regular starter for the first team and is so since he was 17 ;

during the 2020 - 2021 season, he's the player having disputed the most match, ahead of Leo Messi, Frenkie de Jong or Alba ;

he's the second youngest player to get to 50 games (18 yr 5 mths), second only to Bojan.

So you have, in the start of the 2021-2022 season, a 18 year old used to death by both his club and his national selection.

What Torres explains is that he (Torres), upon returning to Villarreal after the eventful 2021 summer (2 international tournaments, and a weak alimentation during the latest) , his coach (Emery) refused to get him back in the first group, despite Torres' insistance, arguing that he needed mandatory rest after coming back from such long international duty.

Meanwhile, guess what happens to young, juvene Pedri upon returning ? He gets one week after the Olympics, before being merrily trusted back onto the pitch because of his essentiality to the first team. Getting out of a 60+ games season, following up on a national duty and getting only one week to rest, as a 18 years old, is insanity. His injuries' history checks:

He made his debut for Barcelona in 2020. No injuries whatsoever during this 2020 - 2021 period : they only start coming on September 2021 and hardly stop.

So, with all that in mind, here's my lukewarm take : it's easy to fall on him for his supposed weakness of constitution (some players are prone to this and we know it). However, I do think that this is a 20 year old who put his health in danger during a whole ass season for both his club and national team and that he isn't prone to anything when given the time.

Imo with the recruitment we've had and players like Fermin coming up, we should let Pedri fall back into his rythm at his own pace, let him all the time he needs to recover, in other words use him mindfully. Of course Fermin isn't him but we did a stupendous match in El Clasico without him and I do think that we could work out smth like that. Alimentation and strength training in the gym are of course important but the way he's used by the club and recovery time even more so.

I do agree with you on a certain level tho; I think this 2023 - 2024 season is crucial toward this issue. If the injuries don't stay at bay then yeah, we got a Dembele/Bojan/Umtiti case, that 2020/2021 season most likely fucked him up entirely (cause in the end, that's what really is being discussed here: whether he can fully recover and go back to his previous form or if it's already too late). With our financial problems, a sale should be seriously considered, soon so that his value doesn't completely lessens — hence the whole 2023-2024 importance in my eyes. That's why for now I'm not too worried, just really curious and hopeful as to how this season will go. Hoping the coaching of Xavi, Pedri's own preparation, Fermin's development and the dynamics of the team pay off.

[rustyyart]

Ok I need to vent before I explode

Making new completely broken cookies to counter the previous completely broken cookies is just a losing battle from the start.

Healers and supports were too strong so we added injury.

Shields are too strong so we added a cookie that breaks shields.

Summons are too strong so we added a cookie that does more damage based on how many enemies.

CC resistant teams are too strong so we added sleep.

BTS cookies are too strong so we added a cookie that's does their job even better.

Tanks are too strong so we added health-based damage.

Cookies get killed too quickly so we added multiple levels of invulnerability.

Cookies get stunned too quickly so we added a cookie that punishes CC.

The obvious one has to be the instant kill teams getting one-upped by a different cookie who can just stun the entire team faster. Gingerbrave to Hollyberry to Wildberry and now Frilled Jellyfish giving out water-based buffs on top of it.

Not to mention, you can literally just put both the problem and solution cookies on the exact same teams. You need to CC Stardust before he nukes your team? Too bad they have Capsaicin who will do it first. You manage to survive? No, the invulnerability treasure plus Golden Cheese came back full health and immediately went invulnerable to solo wipe your team. You finally get your combo to hit but oops:

1st Mistake: Your earlier CC delayed Black Pearl so her ult goes off now, dodging everything

2nd Mistake: The combo of healers/shields have delayed the game enough that the 100% damage buff goes off as she hits you

3rd Mistake: She is full health and buffed now btw cause Snapdragon is invulnerable cause BTS cookies were and we needed to capitalize on the retroactive FOMO somehow sorry.

TBH before Snapdragon came out I was planning to be like "haha that was fun guys but the BTS collab ended months ago can we please banish them to the shadow realm?" but they literally made the issue again and worse.

And then anyone who brings up these problems gets "skill issue"d to oblivion regardless that it's (usually) the fault of the game and not them specifically. Everyone crying over pre-nerf 16-30? That's apparently a legitimate issue. But asking for help on any other bullshit gimmick? Oh, skill issue. Get better at the game. Get better cookies. It was easy.

Over time, having to do homework on a video game just has really made me dislike playing games. Knowing that a certain enemy can only be defeated by doing XYZ or that the character you've been building for months is now garbage tier is so... tiring? I don't know. All the games I play feel like chores and I'm just obligated to play or else I'm so far behind on the meta I should just quit. I miss one day in CRK and that might be one pull less to get the new cookie that will be trash next patch but priceless right this second. I'm staying cause I own guilds, but if I didn't I feel like I would've dropped all gachas a couple years ago. It's kinda funny I tend to make guilds to not feel obligated to play professionally, but then get pressured into feeling like I have to play better than my guildmates because I am the leader.

[quirkypossum]

personal life shit ahead btw

gonna talk about some personal life bullshit under the cut so if you're not interested in my life drama or potentially triggering shit then I'd scroll past. Content warning for talking about disturbing/self-destructive thoughts, chronic pain and illness, and trans stuff..

well, I'm at the point where I am second-guessing myself again. my mom and her husband actually think I'm a hypochondriac and I didn't help my own thought spiral by watching a bunch of videos on people who supposedly made up their own chronic illnesses for crime or other reasons...

like i genuinely think there has been stuff going on with me for years now, but because i never brought some of it up to doctors at the time they tend to not believe its that serious.. Half the time they blame my symptoms on my weight (something that has changed very little over the last five years not including getting the tits chopped earlier this year) or they will blame it on my diet (another thing that has if anything gotten healthier over the last five years as I've explored more veggies and fruits).

Most recently, I went in after doing a bunch of research on POTS and hypermobility without really saying anything specific, keeping the most specific description at general hypermobility while describing my joints and pain and other problems. Well, the outcome I thought was going to be better because normally they dismiss it and don't do anything but this time it seemed different because my doctor actually ordered new blood tests that I haven't had before to rule out things like arthritis and lupus and stuff. The problem was that she said she would follow up and never did and its been like a month now since then and still nothing. Based on the ranges they show with the tests I'm within range for everything pretty much so part of me wonders if that's why she never reached out to confirm the results or what, but I am planning on sending her a message to ask what the next step is.

I know it's not smart to self-diagnose and do a ton of research into symptoms because you could be wildly off but given the fact that the doctors I keep getting just dismiss everything as normal without really doing anything to check most of the time I just can't forget about it and move on. I shouldn't be dealing with all the health problems that I am at the age that I am. Older adults always say stuff like "wait til you're older, then you'll really know pain" and it makes me so disheartened for my future if I'm already overwhelmed by it all rn. Like I really am at a "whats the fucking point?" type of mental state because of all this.

I feel like no one in my life really believes that the issues I have a real and everyone just thinks i make it all up because I complain a lot. Part of me wonders if I am faking it all and I'm just so delusional that i don't know I'm faking it. It's the same kinds of thoughts I have about being trans sometimes or about money. I've been really trying to avoid self harming lately because of all this shit.... Its so weird cause I'll have a great awesome day where I got all the shit done I needed to do, did something fun, socialized, showered, ate, all of it and at the end of it all I feel like the biggest piece of shit on the planet... Like everything I said and did was wrong and of course my doctors don't believe me Im just making it up, of course my brother said no to sitting outside with me, I'm being annoying as usual. idk....

I have so many wishes for my life and my loved ones' lives and my mom always says that obnoxious response of "you wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which fills up faster" to try and bring me back to reality and make me feel better I guess but obviously it never works. it just makes me feel worse about it like I shouldn't even complain in the first place. I really do wish things were different.

I wish I wasn't in pain every day, I wish I didn't have stomach problems every day, I wish I didn't feel like I might pass out every day, I wish my anxiety was the normal amount and not the terrifying heart palpitations I get every day, I wish I had enough money that these health problems wouldn't worry me so much, I wish my mom didn't have to work her soul-crushing job just to keep a roof over our family's heads, I wish that things were different....

If you read through all of this I applaud you and hope you can't relate to any of it.

[introvert-bookclub]

filling the doom void

This morning I was thinking about how I spent a very large chunk of my life wanting kids and worrying that I would be infertile. I'm pretty susceptible to panicking over being personally doomed health issues and accidents I read about, no matter how unlikely or how unfounded my worry might be. (Btw this tendency, which I don't think is uncommon, gets way worse after you have kids.) I think I passively heard about infertility enough times as a teen that I just integrated it into my sense of self... not to mention that I wasn't in a position to have children whatsoever until my mid 30s.

Anyway, it turns out I'm super fertile, almost scarily fertile, and got pregnant on the first try both times, which is great. Like something lots of people ache for, something that causes them great pain, so bear with me for my extremely out of perspective gripe about it. Because it actually turns out to be a little bit of a bummer in one respect: when you're in your mid-30s and trying to conceive there is one cool feature, which is: you can just point to a calendar and DEMAND sex. (All relationships are different, mine is not one where I normally feel OK DEMANDING sex, it was a fun novelty while it lasted.) Also, once you know you're scarily fertile and you're done having kids, you need to schedule removal of the reproductive machinery ASAP.

What I'm trying to express is that I felt ~20 years of fertility-related DOOM nagging at me every day, and now I'm 6 months pregnant with my second and final baby, and I think my brain is like "what do I do with this doom void?" And I guess the answer is pretty much anything and everything that I come up with every single day and night. Things I would never have thought to be depressed or anxious about before, when my main goals for life were: be comfortable, be weird, and be a loving mom.

Now I have all 3 and I'm like, scrambling around feeling unhappy about any tumbleweed that blows through my brain out of habit. I guess realizing that could be the first step to mindfully quieting it down.

[peppermintschnapps]

i keep having to go to my doctor for unrelated MILD health issues - once every 3 months maybe? for like the past year. & I'm worried they're gonna think I'm a hypochondriac attention seeker or something??? am I overthinking how regularly I visit the clinic.

example: the first time I went, it was because my toenail ingrown & big ouchies and got infected, had to get that sorted. then i think it was a sore jaw & we discovered im teeth grinding at night. then, after that i had covid & I got over it but I was falling asleep at work & while driving (and it lasted 2 months and the doctor was like lol just wait it out I guess) and finally, the last time I went it was because my eyes were really hurting me constantly and I thought I might need glasses but he just gave me a spray and recommended some yellow/warm shade glasses for when I look at screens at work, & that's sorted it.

(I promise these were all legitimately bothering me like I don't actually wanna visit the doctors every 3 months!!)

ANYWAY, NOW I keep waking up in the middle of the night when I am deeply asleep to this sudden excruciating pain in my calf muscle/(s) - interchangeable on each leg - and it is like, the muscle is fucking inverting itself trying to turn itself inside out or something. It is fucking agony, honestly the pain is a 10 and the muscle feels rock hard and I just have to lie there until it goes away, which usually takes like 45 seconds. Then, the muscle relaxes and the pain immediately goes - but for the next 2-3 days my calf is really sore and tender and I struggle to put weight on my leg. Like literally wtf is that. Demonic possession???? and I'll go in & the doctor will be like.. omg not this chick again. what is it this time... ffs...

I'm 29 btw. Is this just what being in your 30s is like? Is that what all of this is about lmao???

[mrsannahotcherweasley]

ik that this situation is kinda specific but...was anyone else the only child of a single mom (i mean "only child" by environment and parent because i have a brother that's 10 years older than me but he was adopted by my grandparents, since my mom had him when she was really young) and she always claimed that you were her everything and her little miracle but treated you like anything but that?? for the first like 11 years of my life, she barely ever acknowledged me and whenever she did, she made it seem like she was annoyed just by my fucking presence. she yelled at me for literally everything and everytime i tried to express how much that hurt me, she'd guilt trip me by using the fact that she's a single mom that works her ass off for us to live and then would gaslight me and say that nothing like that ever happened/i was blowing the whole situation out of proportion. and she's one of those single mom's that make it their personal mission to make you hate your father and everything about him, not because he wasn't around, but because of her personal vendetta against him for leaving her. my daddy issues would probably not be anywhere near as bad as they are if it weren't for her telling me all of the horrible stories about him that she did, when i was only like 7 years old. and then after telling me all of the HORRIBLE shit that he's done to both her and his other baby momma's, anytime i would ever misbehave or do something she didn't like, she would scream at me and tell me that she was gonna send me to live with him or have him come take me......like first of all, after all the shit you've said he's done (she literally told me that he tried to KIDNAP some of the other children that he had and that his family, like, grandparents n stuff, were abusive and racist to white people.....i'm mixed btw) and you're threatening to basically send me to the wolf, and second of all, for me supposedly being your "miracle" you sure as hell make it seem more like i'm an inconvenience. something else that i hate is that she never ever payed attention to my mental health issues, which were clear as fucking day. from ages 14-16, i was homeschooled and other than going to the store with her every couple of months, i never left the house, i was having mental breakdowns all the fucking time, some of which were in front of her, too, and it got so bad to the point where i was going months without showering because i just could not bring myself to get up and do it. and you know what she did the whole time?? nothing, she never even asked me if i was okay. her attitude towards me did change eventually though, even though she still continuously tried to gaslight me by saying that she never did anything wrong, once i reached like 11-12 (i was pretty mature for my age and never actually went through the whole "super moody, emo, and disrespectful" teen phase either, which probably helped) and was not a small little child that she has to take everywhere with her and have an eye on 24/7, she stopped treating me as an inconvenience, and now as someone that was cool and someone that she could hang out with. i- i just, i'm gonna stop here because i can go on about this shit for days but, i just needed to vent because she's still like this to this day and it doesn't help that basically my whole family is toxic asf and wouldn't even fucking listen to me if i tried to tell them, i've been trapped in my own little bubble for the past 10 years (the only reason im still around them if you're wondering, is because of my nephew, i refuse to leave him with them without anyone with common sense) so, thanks if you read this.

[the99thchapter]

47

It is 9:44pm. 31 December 2022.

In hindsight, 2022 was not that of a bad year for me. I started the year off feeling absolutely worried, anxious and afraid of many things. I had my fair share of worries on academic matters, family relations and even personal health.

But hey, I'm still alive today, at this moment. Breathing it all in and taking things one step at the time.

The highlights of my year include:

Made new friends! Not exactly the kind of friends that i can hang out with (because i've been an awkward bean!) but the ones i can drop a text to on any school related matters - without having to rely on myself.

NCT 127 NEO CITY THE LINK TOUR in Singapore! My first concert since 2018. A dream come true. Went with my bestfriend and her close friend. It was so much fun.

My sister's October/December wedding. Chaotic, emotional, magical but a blessing. Forever etched in my memory.

Southern Islands trip with my mother and sister. It was the first out-of-land trip for the 3 of us. Stressful, tiring but a memory to reminisce on.

NIKI - Nicole Tour. My second concert for the year! An impulse buy because i wanted to gift myself an event as a celebration of the end of a pretty stressful trimester. It was such a good experience.

March - Covid-19. After successfully avoiding the plague, i caught it. My entire family got it one after another. Spent a week in my parents' bedroom. It occurred a day after i did my marketing mid-terms. I failed that btw. It was one of the worst body pains (fever) i've ever had to endure. I waited outside of the Northeast Clinic for hours with a 39 deg fever and runny nose. Also happened to be the first time i did PCR. Never again. The aftereffects lasted quite long - my lungs were affected.

Ramadhan 2022. The year I remembered doing so many acts of ibadah. The year i did Terawih for the FIRST TIME in my life and for the FIRST TIME in a masjid. Masya Allah. I took a leap of faith, read up alot of guides, practiced the prayers on my own and went to Masjid to do. I understood it all - how one misses it so badly when you start to do Terawih consistently. I miss it so much. I can't wait to do it all over again next year. Insya Allah.

i may have moments of despair, sadness and utter failure. So what? I will always pick myself up after every hardship and move on with life. I get happy over the smallest of things and upset at how life had been treating me. But it's okay. I will be okay.

Next year, I will be entering my third and final year of university. I will also be embarking on my 8-month long work attachment. I do not know where i will be applying. But i pray for a good environment. I want to do something that i love - even if it is momentarily.

I know I have so much financial issues to deal with in the following year. So i'm hoping to get a part-time job to ease my parent's difficulty. I know it is hard to pay our housing loan and groceries. So i'm getting a job to alleviate the burden.

Lastly, I 've thought it about it from time to time. I want to start something new. Something that challenges me. I'm really tired of limiting myself to my comfort zone. What ever that is, I'm hoping future-me does NOT stop doing it. It will get uncomfortable, scary and even risky, but that's the good thing about trying while you're in your 20s. You can fail but you can also try again. Don't be scared. You are only young once.

To the future me reading this in December 2023, do not give up.

Happy New Year, A. Let's treat our heart with kindness. Laugh a little more and cry a little less.