#bulk email send

[elightwalk-technology]

Discover the most efficient way to send bulk emails with Magento 2 and streamline your email marketing efforts.

[yoursmtpprovider]

How to measure the success of your Bulk Emailing campaigns?

As you are here, you must be looking for methods to track the success of your email marketing campaign. However, the end result of bulk email sending is highly competitive. So, you will need to analyze and evaluate the performance of your email campaigns. But the question is how?

We will get you there shortly.

Before that, you will need to ask a few questions to yourself. Starting with-

What is an email marketing campaign?

What email marketing does to the business?

How to create a compelling email marketing campaign?

Once you get answers to your queries thoroughly, we will dive into how to measure the success of your email marketing campaign.

Metrics to Check for Measuring the Success of Your Email Marketing Campaigns

The success of email marketing campaigns can be decided by various factors. There are so many things that you need to keep in check. And that too on a regular basis. So, let us explain them all in detail so that you can create a strategy for an effective bulk email marketing plan. 

Open rate

The open rate percentage of the sent bulk email lists is necessary to measure the effectiveness. The basic logic of the open rate ratio is if your recipients do not open your emails, how will you draw the conversion to your business? The entire work plan will become futile with a lesser open rate.

CTR

The main goal of your email campaign will be the percentage of people who clicked on the link within your email. This is an im[portant metric to gain subscribers and a loyal audience for your business and email list. 

Unsubscribe rate

Now, coming to the unsubscribe rate is the deciding factor in your email success. If the rate of unsubscribe is high after sending emails from your bulk email server, you have to find the disputes within your content. There can be a problem in your welcoming note, hooking part, or maybe a misleading subject line. 

Complaint rate

Right after the unsubscribing rate, comes the complaint rate. Let's just pray that your emails don't get marked as spam in two digits. Basically, the complaint rate is the number of people who marked your emails as spam. 

Conversion rate

Conversion rate means the percentage of people who became your customer or subscriber through your sent emails. A higher rate of conversion will decide the success of your email campaign as well as your business revenue. 

Bounce rate 

It is your duty to keep the email bounce rate in check. The bounce rate is the deciding factor of the number of emails sent to your customers but they didn't reach their destined location.

Email bounce can happen due to an incorrect email address, overloading, or the recipient’s email is full. So, choose SMTP relay service providers with credible sending domains and delivery rates. Sometimes, the recipient email server has blocked the server for new emails as well. 

Forward and share rate

Even though it is not an important metric but forward and share rate of your email means that they are liking your products or services so they are promoting you to their people. They act as an ambassador for your business. 

Campaign ROI

Basically, this is the most important and tricky to calculate. However, you can choose the best SMTP service provider to gain an overall estimation of your Campaign ROI. An average ROI throughout a period of time will signify the campaign growth of your business. 

List growth rate

The above metrics are important, but you also have to put your mind to growing your email list. So, if you see a gradual increase in your email list without losing the existing one, it means that your business and email campaign is on the right track. 

As you go through all these parameters, you will come across a balanced position with steady growth in email campaigns. So, find the SMJTP provider that suits your needs and draws revenue to your business. 

[pythonjobsupport]

How to Use MAIL MERGE to Send Bulk Email Messages in Outlook?

Mastering Mail Merge for Bulk Email Messages in Outlook! Discover how to streamline your email communication with the … source

[electronicgoateewasteland]

People are looking to promote or advertise their products and services via SMS. Though the various modes of communication tools are present in the market still no one can replace “Bulk SMS services“. For that, you need the best bulk SMS service provider that should be reliable and affordable.If you’re planning to jump in the business of bulk SMS reseller is a good idea to sell SMS services under your brand name with the MsgClub reseller panel.

[quaranmine]

31,000 emails in the promotions tab and 15,000 in the primary tab

2025 is pushing me to places i thought i would never go. did you know that this morning i decided to finally tackle organizing my gmail? there's 48,000 emails in the promotions tab alone. there's 18,000 in my primary tab. and i'm actually tackling it. who am i

[mails2inboxcom]

Things to look for while choosing an SMTP service provider

Bulk email marketing services - Email promoting is, without a slight trace of uncertainty, a vital component of the showcasing procedure of organizations. From SMBs to Fortune 500 organizations, all know about the influence of email, and the individuals who are not, are passing up one of the best promoting channels that can support return for money invested. SMTP administrations have expanded in ubiquity because of clear reasons, the manner in which it works on sending messages, the speed, and precision, just to give some examples.

As there are different SMTP specialist co-ops out there, it tends to be hard for organizations to find a dependable and the right specialist co-op.

Finding the right SMTP specialist co-op

Thus, here we present to you a few genius tips that can make the method involved with finding a specialist co-op simple and bother free.

Experience matters!

At the point when you will contact a specialist co-op, you are without a doubt going to run over a lot of vows to convey the best administrations. In any case, sadly, not all SMTP specialist co-ops are probably going to address your issues. This is where you really want to zero in on the experience of any specialist organization. More the experience, the better the assistance experience you will get. Talk with your specialist co-op about the experience and how the administrations helped different organizations.

Understanding your business needs

Each business has its own remarkable help and server necessities. Just the one with the right experience will actually want to comprehend and meet your remarkable prerequisites.

Invest energy with the specialist co-op to examine your administration and email promoting needs, an accomplished specialist organization will think of a few extraordinary ideas that will make the ways for additional open doors for your business. Bulk email marketing software

Get to investigate the choices

When you know about the experience of your specialist co-op and your business needs are examined, it becomes vital to investigate the accessible choices or plans that best accommodated your business. SMTP administrations are accessible at a great many plans, these plans can likewise be tweaked to meet your requirements. When you have a few intends to investigate, you will actually want to distinguish which one tackles your motivation!

Get in Touch

E: info@mails2inbox.com Skype: murtazind WhatsApp: +91 8780-424-579

Also read: - https://mails2inbox.com/things-to-look-for-while-choosing-smtp-service-provider/

[tojisun]

sugar, spice, everything on ice (hockey au mlist) - smut; f!reader; short drabble only!

yea i bet youre all tired of hearing hockey come out of my mouth but thinking about—

hockey player simon receiving a text from you after a game.

they defeated their opponent in a shutout—price carrying the team on enemy ice, with garrick coming in with solid defences, allowing mactavish and simon to sink a shot after another.

it was an electrifying game; even now as he’s stuffed in his cubicle, simon feels like he’s on top of the world. like the cup is so close to his reach—just a few more rally and he’s bringing it home.

the locker room is buzzed, congratulations getting passed from one to another while their coach awards the disk to price for the shutout. the media is still taping this whole interaction so the team remains conscious, guarded, until, finally, everything is wrapped up.

the others clamber to the showers but simon digs for his phone, desperate to talk to you. to tell you that he’s won—he doesn’t know if you’ve watched the game, not with how packed your schedule’s gotten—so if you haven’t, he wishes to at least be the first to let you know.

he wants you to hear it from him; hear from him how they dominated tonight’s game.

(6-0 for the specgru. in the playoffs.)

but there’s already a message from you, sitting atop the strings of notification filling up his phone screen. he ignores the emails from brands reaching out for brand deals or fans sending in messages to his public socials, and taps on your name.

his eyes grow wide, his breath hitching, because—

> 2 goals tonight, baby. almost a hatty.

> have i told you how your hockey makes me hot? almost makes me want to fly there to give you a reward

the start of a whimper builds in the base of his throat, scratching at his trachea.

jesus.

the last time you’ve rewarded him for his performance—a hatty, one of which was an empty net goal—simon had to grit through the horror of seeing you have a difficulty in sitting down the next few days. until now, he swears that he tried holding back, to take it easy despite his needs, but then you crawled to his lap and sang praises in his ears, and simon was gone.

you were so needy for him. for his skate and his play and his victory. and how could simon control himself then?

so this—your messages that are lidded with a tease—is torture. the flight won’t even be until tomorrow morning so you’ve just left him extremely pent-up, buzzing, with his desires poorly-leashed.

all he could do is send a weak,

when i’m back, can you give it then? <

you’ve only liked his message as a reply and simon knows it for what it is—a deliberate hooking; filling him up with tension. with unbridled energy, all uncontainable, so he can fuck all of that into you.

shit. now he’s all hard underneath his cup.

the quick rub in the shower stalls was not enough so he races to their hotel, locking himself in his room and proceeds to fuck his fist as he swipes at the album he’s locked away in his gallery. it’s the gallery that only you and simon know about.

it’s full of pictures. of videos and audios.

it’s full of you fingering your sensitive pussy, and of simon finally getting his hands on your cunt and dragging you up to his mouth for a taste, and of simon fucking you at every surface—on the island, in the living room, against the window, in front of the mirror.

in some of them, he’s still wearing his jersey. in most of them, you’re the one who has it on.

simon cums once. then rubs another one before the flight because he makes the mistake of rereading your previous message. the release isn’t euphoric; sure, it’s enough to stop the fever, but it was almost too clinical.

you’re still in your gym clothes when simon’s clumsily making his way home. you shriek at the way he just covers you with his bulk, before giggling at the ticklish feeling of his scruff rubbing against your cheek.

“missed you,” he says.

you whine, nodding, before pushing him back just enough that you can finally jump into his arms. simon soaks up the attention, like it’s sticky liquorice, and the nuzzled kisses.

even the words pressed on his lips, he devours but there’s one thing simon needs more, and he’s almost shaking when you finally noticed.

you laugh, poking his cheek, before giving him what he wants.

“your hockey’s so hot, si,” you trill. “fuck me?”

“please,” simon croaks out because that is all he could truly say.

[twistedpink]

“If you, the beastkeeper, do not spread this email to 6 people before the end of supplementary spooky season, the one you love the most dearly will be cursed until the last eve has passed. Ignore at your own risk!“ Spam email aside, you’re not bothering your friends with it even for a joke,, A couple days pass and sure enough, (because isn’t your luck legendary?) your boyfriend is turned into a hideous monster- foretold to stay that way until the winterween season has ended :0 Will he attack you? How can you support him? And most importantly, will the snack stash last long enough to avoid the holiday rush?

Zombie!Ace Trappola

Ace was actually the one to send you the message, (like he doesn’t bother you enough) he thinks people trying to make extra holidays a thing is hilarious! He’ll also use whatever excuse he can to deny that he’s been turned into the dumbest monster there is,, You’re lucky it’s only for a couple days- else he’d start gnawing on you to get his protein in :) The “joking” about eating you was wayyy too soon, so for his last couple hours he’s tied up on the couch to avoid any sneak attacks.. Nothing’ll stop his smart mouth though, and he makes sure you know how much he needs you to come back! Whenever you do show up he says it’s just to change the channel, but his involuntary babbling (both sleep deprived and zombieish) says a different story <3

“babeee,,, C’mere, I won’t eat you. If I wanted to I would’ve, even then my bite’s not too bad.. BOO! Did I spook you??”

Banshee!Cater Diamond

You’d better have experience with subway surfers and stalking magicam, Cater’ll die if you can’t entertain him!! He phases through anything around the house, anytime he talks it’s uncontrollably loud, and he can’t even touch you :( He gets mini premonitions, but it’s not as cool as you’d expect. Since you’re not in danger with modern commodities, he gets visions of who gets canceled next or what’s going bad in the fridge :/ Cater flying around is much better than dealing with a troll- but he’s not happy about the pajamas he “died in”, and will make sure to be more fashionable in bed! <3

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE sorry, that pic is cute!! Can you video me again? I know it hasn’t worked yet, just one last try and we’ll take a nap, scout’s honor!”

Ogre!Jack Howl

If you thought Jack was too big before, he gets massive with the curse :0 Poor guy can’t keep up with the height- sheer bulk weighing him down and stopping him from getting his chores done (no matter how careful he is). You eventually resolve to put him on bedrest, but he can’t reach far enough to wash his back anymore, so you’re forced to rinse him off with a warm towel <3 The new mass has definitely affected how he fills his clothes out, and it hurts being so buff :( New stretch marks mar his biceps, and growing pains don’t seem that painful until you remember how bad they were at like fourteen. Massaging the ache from his muscles while you babble about your day’s all he could ask for, and he loves that you take care of him <33

“Oh, you’re running the wash? I’ll finish it, and it’s only right to fix that cabinet you’ve been talking about.. You don’t have to thank me! I know you’d do the same.”

Kelpie!Floyd Leech

Floyd is already unbelievable on his normal setting, but now you trap him in the bathtub?? Blashphemy! Getting a good soak wears his transformation potion down, so now he’s trying to drag you into the tub while being too tall (long??) to fit inside it,, You can hardly tell if the curse even affects him apart from the translucent sheen of his skin and the fact that his impressions are really good now. (He’s tricked you into opening the front door way too many times because he can imitate knocking now) Joking about drowning you is just a normal Floyd activity, but by the second pass of his tail going for your wrist, you decided to wait the curse out from your bedroom.. It’s for the best, but that doesn’t mean your pet kelpie doesn’t get lonely :(

“WAIT! I learned how to do a new noise come backkk :( Fine. Stay away, I don’t want you at my party,, *distant dolphin sounds*”

Werewolf!Epel Felmier

Two words, hell freaking yeah. No matter what you say he’ll take the transformation in stride- nobody else gets to be this manly!! He’s shoving new body hair in your face like a trophy, but you never remembered movie werewolves being so,, Clingy? Epel’s always feining for a scratch behind the ears to keep him in “peak form”, and unlike the other guys he goes out of his way to be in public. The curse gets him high off putting an arm around your waist and nodding at the beastmen he knows.. After his usual 3 hours of messing up the apartment before bed, the insomnia is ruff. Good thing his honey’s there to help him out <3

“I am NOT sum’ mutt >:( Vil’s jus got it in the ol’ melon to keep ma hair tidy, so you’ve gotta help!”

Chupacabra!Lilia Vanrouge

Lilia is obsessed with the little detail that this “blessing” picked him out of all the people in your life, and gets weirdly smug with it,, Nothing about his life changes too much (avoiding the sun and whatnot) but he does get a little “method” with his role as the beast to your beauty <3 A week passes in the blink of an eye, so you’d better treasure your rented monster! He takes every opportunity to nurse the sensitive column of your neck, babbling about some “unique instincts”.. For a month after the curse has subsided, you wake up with fresh bites along any exposed skin- Lilia’s lucky you think he’s so cute, not many would believe his naive act! He capitalizes on his boyfriend privileges, for they are nothing if not special <3

“Ah! You believe I am the night terror? You would blame the one you “love most dearly” for this?? Heinous!”

[isthattyra]

Sweet Beginnings

terry richmond x black reader

“I’m just saying, why should I have to go to the gym when I can get my workout done here?” you say, flexing dramatically as you scooped dough onto a baking sheet. The smell of vanilla and brown sugar filled the cozy kitchen, making your argument even sweeter.

Terry leaned against the counter, arms crossed over his broad chest, his lips twitching into a grin. “Baby, I’m inviting you to the gym, not drafting you into a strongman competition. Besides I never said you had to work out. I just want to see your pretty face, it gives me motivation”

You smirked, not missing a beat. “I can do arm curls here. You see me scooping this dough, don’t you? And kneading earlier? That’s a full upper body workout.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And cardio?”

“Mixing counts. Ever tried to beat butter and sugar by hand? That’s endurance right there. And don’t you think we get enough cardio done together?” You said recalling the last few nights spent with Terry that had you sweating and out of breath like you’d just run a marathon. 

“ I guess you got me on that but I didn’t hear any complaints from that so called workout” he said shutting you right on up.

“Besides, this dough won’t scoop itself. Speaking of which…” you motioned to the oatmeal cookies on a baking sheet. “You’d never have gotten these if I hadn’t saved you at the store.”

“Saved me? That’s a stretch.”

“Oh, come on! You were ready to give up eating plain old oatmeal like the old man you are for the week until I swooped in.”

Flashback

Your banter had started over a year ago, on the day you met. You had just started selling your baked goods to people besides your family. It was the week before you planned to work the weekend farmers market and you were trying to make sure you had all your ingredients ready.

It had been an ordinary afternoon at the grocery store, you had been searching for a bulk container of oatmeal for your iced oatmeal cookie recipe which was one of your best sellers. Finally coming across in it the aisle, seeing only one container. Barely paying attention as you scrolled on your phone, you reached for it at the exact same moment a large, calloused hand did.

“Oh!” you said, startled, looking up. The hand belonged to a tall, fit man with warm greyish blue/green eyes and a teasing smile. He pulled back slightly, letting you take the container.

“Go ahead,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m not about to fight you for oatmeal.”

“That’s very gentlemanly of you,” you replied, trying to hide your embarrassment. “But are you sure? It looked like you needed it too.” 

His dedication to maintaining his beautiful body had been evident in his cart full of proteins and veggies.

He large shoulders shrugged. “It’s for my meal prep. But I’ll survive.” He paused, then added with a sly grin, “If you promise me a batch of whatever you’re making and your name,I’ll consider it even.”

You couldn’t help but to laugh as you tell him your name “Brown butter iced oatmeal cookies. And… deal.” Not wanting to have to deliver to a random stranger, no matter how fine he was, you suggested he meet you at the local farmers market that weekend. 

“Here’s my card in case you can’t make it, you can send me an email to place an order”

Not only did he show up, he was there before you were. Even going so far as to help you unload your car and set up your tables and tent. It was nice to have someone to help since your best friend had bailed on you last minute. Bonus that the help was so nice to look at. You’d never been so jealous of a table, watching as he lifted it so easily onto his back not straining even once.

Terry stayed at your table until everything sold out, helping you to pack everything up too. He was only able to buy one oatmeal cookie even though you tried to argue that he didn’t need to pay.

“Now I feel like I owe you again, I appreciate all your help today and for taking up so much of your time” you stated feeling bad. All this man wanted was some oatmeal and now he’s been put to work

“It’s no problem at all, I enjoyed the cookies and I learned a lot about the baking business too” he said smiling showing all 32 of his pearly whites

“Well before you go I have something for you” reaching in the front seat of your car grabbing the specially wrapped box. “ I knew the cookies would sell fast so I made sure to put a batch aside for you, after all that was the deal”. the smirk growing on your face 

His smirk matching yours “It definitely was. Thank you, I’ll try not to eat them all in one siting” 

“Good luck with that,” you said. “They’re addictive.”

“I don’t doubt it.” He leaned back slightly, his eyes lingering on you for a moment. “You know, I think I got the better end of this deal. A whole batch of cookies, and nice morning spent with beautiful company”

You could help to laugh, shaking your head. “Well, now you’re just showing off your charm, aren’t you?”

“Maybe,” he said, his grin widening. “But it’s working, isn’t it?”

You rolled your eyes, but the warmth in your chest was impossible to ignore. “Drive safe, Terry. And maybe I can get you to try one of my other cookies next time you’re here.”

“Next time, huh?” He opened his truck door but paused, his eyes locking with yours . “I like the sound of that.”

With that, he climbed into the truck , leaving you standing there with a smile you couldn’t seem to shake.

True to his word, Terry showed up at the next farmers market. And the one after that. By the third week, it wasn’t just a casual visit—he was there early, carrying boxes, helping set up your booth, and sticking around to take it all down at the end of the day.

“You know,” you said one morning as you unloaded your car together, “I didn’t realize free cookies came with a labor contract.”

Terry chuckled, setting down a tablecloth. “I think I got the better end of the deal. The cookies are a bonus. You, though? You’re worth showing up for.”

You couldn’t help but to feel butterflies flutter in your stomach and somewhere else, but you just  rolled your eyes to play it off. “Flattery will only get you more cookies, you know.” He didn’t have to know you also meant another set of cookies. 

“Good,” he said, his grin crooked and confident. “I’ll take them.”

By the fifth farmers market, his presence had become so natural that when he wasn’t there for a moment—late grabbing tea for you both—you realized how much you’d come to expect him by your side.

That day, while packing up the last of your supplies, you worked up the courage to ask. “So… I was thinking. Since you’re already giving up your Saturdays to help me here, maybe I could steal another evening from you?”

Terry straightened, his eyes bright with interest. “Are you asking me out, Y/N?”

“Maybe I am,” you said, smiling as you shut the trunk. “Dinner this Friday?”

“Absolutely,” he said, his grin matching yours. 

Flashback end

Now, a year and a new bakery storefront later, you were finishing up making a batch of your still best seller. Now renamed The Terry, you had to make double sometimes triple and would still sell out fast. 

Terry still helping out but now in the shop, had seen you struggle a little to lift the big bag of flour and had suggested showing you some arm strengthening workouts.

“Well if someone didn’t have my arms in a position they’re not usually in I would have been fine lifting the flour. Besides not everyone has the strength to be out here lifting tree logs.”

Terry laughed, the deep rumble making you glance up. “Baby, when have you ever seen me lift a log? And also it was your idea to try it out”

You shrugged ignoring the second part of his comment. “Maybe it happened in a dream once.”

He shook his head, amusement clear in his eyes. “That imagination of yours…” He leaned down to kiss your cheek while swiping a cookie on his way out.

You grinned and turned back to your task, the sound of the spoon scraping against the bowl filling the space.

[elightwalk-technology]

How to send bulk emails with Magento 2?

Email marketing is the cheapest way to connect with customers and promote your products, sales, offers and services. Email marketing can improve brand reputation and businesses, reach a larger audience, and drive sales. Email marketing is a cost-effective strategy for message personalization and campaign tracking. Email marketing requires Bulk emails to connect with a large audience and effectively communicate promotional offers, updates, and news to their target market.

Magento 2 simplifies sending bulk emails to your customers. With its user-friendly interface and powerful features, Magento 2 is the perfect platform for managing email campaigns. 

Why Social Login?

Social login is the most efficient and user-friendly way of authenticating users, allowing them to sign in seamlessly using their social media credentials. Beyond the convenience factor, integrating social login into your Magento 2 store can enhance security in several ways.

Why do you need to send bulk emails with Magento 2?

According to DMA research, email marketing offers all digital marketing channels the highest ROI. Sending bulk emails using Magento 2 can help you achieve better results with less effort. Sending bulk emails using Magento 2 can help you achieve better results with less effort, resulting in higher customer engagement and conversion rates. Increased customer engagement and higher conversion rates can increase revenue and business.

Here are some of the reasons why you should be using Magento 2 for your email marketing campaigns:

1. User-friendly interface: Magento 2 has a user-friendly interface that makes email campaign management easy, even for non-technical users. Sending mass emails is a breeze with Magento 2.

2. Customizable email templates: Magento 2 offers various campaign email templates. You can choose designs and customize content to fit your brand's voice and tone.

3. Segmentation: You can divide your email list into segments using Magento 2 according to behaviour, purchase history, and demographics. This allows you to design personalized and targeted emails with a higher sales conversion rate.

4. Automated emails: Magento 2 allows you to set up automated emails for different triggers, such as abandoned carts, customer birthdays, and order confirmations. That helps you keep your customers engaged without the need for manual intervention.

5. Integration with third-party email service providers: Popular email service providers like Elightwalk and Mageplaza are integrated with Magento. 2. Simplify the management of your email campaigns. by using these integrated email service providers.

How to send bulk emails with Magento 2?

Sending bulk emails with Magento 2 can be accomplished using the built-in functionality of the platform or by integrating third-party email solutions. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you send bulk emails through Magento 2:

Step 1: Create an email template

The first step is to create your email template. Magento 2 provides a wide range of pre-designed templates you can customize per your brand's needs. You can design your email template from the beginning using the drag-and-drop email builder.

Step 2: Segment your email list

Next, you must segment your email list to ensure you send targeted emails to the right people. You can do this based on demographics, purchase history, and customer behaviour.

Step 3: Choose the email service provider

Go to Stores > Configuration > Services > your selected service

Enter the required credentials or API keys.

Elightwalk provides an SMTP server for Magento 2. Smtp servers provide security and a more user-friendly experience. SMTP server features such as authentication, encryption, and delivery status notifications make the email-sending process more reliable and efficient for Magento 2 users. With the help of SMTP, you can send Bulk emails Quickly and easily. Users can easily send emails without any technical complications.

Step 4: Schedule and send your emails

Once you have created your email template and segmented your email list, you can schedule your email campaign and send it to your customers.

In Conclusion, Bulk emailing with Magento 2 is a cost-effective and efficient method to promote products and connect with customers. With powerful features and an easy-to-use interface, Magento 2 makes successful email marketing campaigns easy for businesses of all sizes. If you still need to start using Magento 2 for your email marketing, it's time to try it and see the results for yourself.

[pythonjobsupport]

Use Mail Merge to Send Bulk Emails Messages from Outlook

Learn how to use mail merge to send bulk email message from Outlook. This is ideal for anyone that needs to send the same … source

[good-chimes]

[HOTGUY!] HAS ONE NEW MAIL

Users with permissions to this shared mailbox:

Bdubs (role: Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes, Actor). Last login: Today.

Cub (role: Hotguy PR Agent). Last login: Today.

Scar (role: IT’S ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ONE AND ONLY!). Last login: 215 days ago.

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: are you there?

is this hotguy’s email? i thought you were coming on patrol?

Why do you NEVER ANSWER YOUR PHONE

-cg

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: The VALUES AND PRINCIPLES of Scar Goodtimes Acting Enterprises

Dear Cub (if that’s your real name),

Now that you’ve been working for Scar for several weeks, I realized I never sent you any AGENCY INTRODUCTION documents. That’s okay! None of us are perfect, despite what you might feel when you look at me.

For your ENJOYMENT and EDUCATION, here are:

The Founding Principles of Scar Goodtimes Acting Enterprises

1.   Bdubs is Scar’s favorite employee.

1a.   Bdubs is also Hotguy’s favorite employee DESPITE the fact he does not technically work for Hotguy, and no upstart new PR agent is going to change that.

2.   Hotguy’s identity is a secret. You must never reveal that we both work for the same person. Take it to your grave if you have to.  

3.   However, if you see someone talking shit online about Hotguy or Scar you should immediately defend his honor. I often do this and you can see the results in the shared folder admin\arguments_bdubs_has_won. You might not be as good as me at winning debates on the internet—don’t worry!! I can give you tips.

4.   Here at the agency, we have the HIGHEST STANDARDS in responding to emails from the public. I noticed there are SEVERAL HUNDRED UNANSWERED EMAILS sent to Hotguy’s addresses that redirect to our shared mailbox. Scar is a very busy man! It is YOUR JOB to clear these out.

5.   We are open and helpful with everyone. Except hostile journalists. And the TCG. And the tax authorities. And anyone who might want Scar to do anything unreasonable like ��be on time for something’. Keep this in mind as you go through the inbox.

All The Best!!!

Bdubs

P.S. I have noticed that admin\important_documents is now full of files called ‘virus1.exe’ ‘virus2 (gov encryption).exe’ ‘virus3 (might be sentient).exe’ etc. Explain this!?

 ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: RE: The VALUES AND PRINCIPLES of Scar Goodtimes Acting Enterprises

Yeah man cool this all sounds great

Scar seems to have a few email addresses that feed into here. i’ve sent replies according to which one the public emailed:

hotguy@hotguy.com — i replied to some of these but then i kinda got bored and started sending links to cool space facts instead. People will appreciate these i’m sure.

EMAIL_HOTGUY!!@hotguy.com — sent everyone a bulk reply of “Thank you for EMAILING_HOTGUY!! Hotguy loves you!”

FAN_LETTERS_THIS_WAY@hotguy.com — sent everyone a photo of Scar in his Hotguy costume

I_NEED_HOTGUY_NOW!@hotguy.com — sent everyone a photo of Scar in his Hotguy costume minus the shirt

super.cool.arrow.giveaway.for.fans@hotguy.com — sent everyone who gave their address some trick arrows. Only some of them will explode.

law.enforcement.collaboration@hotguy.com — redirected this one to spam

boring.tax.stuff@scargoodtimes.com — also redirected this one to spam. replying to the IRS just encourages them.

inbox zero, my friend. we’re ready for the next concerned citizen to write to us. Let’s go.

Cheers,

Cub

P.S. don’t worry about the viruses. Just a hobby. they’re in \important_documents because I needed a folder that scar never clicks on.

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: Re: The VALUES AND PRINCIPLES of Scar Goodtimes Acting Enterprises

Dear Cub,

Interesting. INTERESTING.

Don’t think you’re going to work your way into Scar’s affections with CLEVER VIRUSES and SHIRTLESS PICS OF HIMSELF. I see your game.

I’ve been Scar’s agent for years and I think when things heat up you might find this job too hot to handle.

All the Best!!!!

Bdubs

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: TCG Special Officer <vigilante.oversight@tcg.gov>

Subject: OFFICIAL REVIEW NOTIFICATION

Dear Hotguy (civilian identity unknown),

We are currently undertaking a review of your recent vigilante activities as ‘Hotguy’.

Vigilantes (‘heroes’) are encouraged to protect citizens and cooperate with the TCG. For this we require vigilantes to regularly communicate with their TCG liaisons, attend emergencies on request, and support law enforcement operations.

None of our emails to <law.enforcement.collaboration@hotguy.com> have been answered—I was going to say ‘in some time’, but I checked our file on you, and it turns out the right word is ‘ever’. You have never answered an email from the TCG. I am sure you can see why this is an issue.

We do admittedly have some difficulty getting vigilantes to ever listen to us, but this is a new low in obstructionism.

We have requested your assistance in investigating thefts from two biotech laboratories, vandalism at a local redstone supplies shop, and multiple call-outs to security incidents at Mumbocorp. You have completely ignored all of these requests. We note you have instead caused widespread chaos, disrupted several TCG operations, and at one point impersonated the Mayor in order to trick ‘Doctor M’ into purchasing a non-existent bridge. 

May I remind you that vigilante activity is only legal insofar as we decline to prosecute heroes for property damage. Kindly reach out to our liaison department immediately so we can work together on collaborative action under the direction of the correct authorities.

On behalf of Head Agent V. Berger,

Special Officer #49

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: are you there?

who is answering hotguy’s emails and why have you sent me a list of top supernovas! this is NOT HELPFUL

 ------------------------------------

To: TCG Special Officer <vigilante.oversight@tcg.gov>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: OFFICIAL REVIEW NOTIFICATION

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for reaching out about the availability of Hotguy. Hotguy is unable to respond himself because he is rescuing kittens from tragically falling into rivers, an activity that has fully occupied him for the past eighteen months.

This is quite the list of criminal events, my friend. I thought the TCG had this kind of thing under control. It’s concerning that you don’t. Doesn’t make your TCG department look super great, huh?

Thinking about it, this really seems like something the Police Commissioner should know about. If you’ve lost the Commissioner’s email address, don’t worry. I found it on a forum.

Cheers,

Cub

Hotguy PR Agent

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: TCG Special Officer <vigilante.oversight@tcg.gov>

Subject: Re: OFFICIAL REVIEW NOTIFICATION

Dear Hotguy’s PR Agent,

I understand as a law-abiding Hermitopia resident, you may be alarmed at descriptions of disorder intended for Hotguy’s eyes only. Please do not be concerned.  We also strongly recommend you do not forward this chain to the Police Commissioner. As you will see from the news, the city is peaceful and everything is completely under control.

Kind Regards,

Special Officer #49

  ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

THERE ARE THREE HUNDRED CHICKENS WITH LASERS ON FIFTH STREET

tell hotguy to call me he’s not picking up!!!

-cg

  ------------------------------------

To: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Regrettably Hotguy is not available as he is escorting orphans to the North Pole to tour Santa’s workshop.

Cheers,

Cub

Hotguy PR Agent

  ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

it’s JULY

 ------------------------------------

To: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

Hotguy believes in being prepared

is this really cuteguy? what’s going on?

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

i was coming back from patrol and going to pick up my pizza. i always get pizza, cub, you have to understand this is an important part of patrol.

when i turn the corner to my normal pizza place there are

AT LEAST FIVE HUNDRED CHICKENS WITH BEAK-MOUNTED LASERS

ALL OVER THE STREET

BETWEEN ME AND MY PIZZA

they’re milling around and scratching like someone just dumped them here. whenever they squawk they burn a tiny hole in the nearest wall. i tried to get near one to look at the device on their beaks and i nearly got my finger burned off.

now i’m on a roof. i want my PIZZA, cub. i’m a close-range fighter and i’m not getting up close with a laser chicken. this seems like a hotguy problem!

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Helloooo,

My name is Pearl Moon, and I’m a reporter with the Hermit Herald. I heard Hotguy has a new PR agent at this address. I’m not going to lie, I’m delighted. Hotguy’s a great guy for a quote, obviously, but getting hold of him is kind of a nightmare.

I’m at the scene of the Eighth Annual Fried Donut Festival. I’m contacting you because a citizen running a stall has allegedly just seen a, I quote, “weaponized chicken”.

According to them, it shot an “adorable laser” into their supplies, punctured a hole in their fruit toppings cooler, and ran under the stalls. I’ve been on this beat for a while and this sounds like a Doctor Monster or a Zedaph special to me. Personally, my money’s on Doc.

I know your client and Doctor Monster go back a long way, so I was wondering if we might see Hotguy himself swooping in?

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

  ------------------------------------

To: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Dear Concerned Journalist,

Thank you for your email. As you know, Hotguy is currently in Canada fighting smallpox by shooting individual bacteria with a special crossbow, for which he has received a commendation from their Prime Minister.

I’ve just contacted him to get a quote about the chicken and he definitely said, “Seems bad.”

Enjoy the festival! Feel free to send Hotguy a souvenir donut box to my address.

Cheers,

Cub

Hotguy PR Agent

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

there’s some kind of festival with crowds of civilians going on in the next street. the chickens are wandering towards it. to make everything worse, i think i saw a newsreader van.

this is funny but also very bad.

i’m going to see if i can lead the chickens away from the festival with some bait, since hotguy’s obviously too busy admiring his own biceps in the mirror to help. i’ve got half a granola bar and an apple core. this is going to work really well for eight hundred chickens. here goes nothing.

if hotguy wakes up from his afternoon nap, you can tell him we didn’t even need him.

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Dear Cub,

I’m pretty sure Canada doesn’t have smallpox anymore. I don’t think anywhere has smallpox.

New update: Several hundred chickens have just erupted into the festival from a side street. They all appear to have lasers. The sheer weight of poultry has overturned two artisan donut stalls, which has caused what I’m going to describe as “mass panic” as people try and avoid the laser beams. People screaming, people running, everything coated in a fine layer of powdered sugar. No injuries yet, but it looks like the Prize-Winning Triple Marshmallow Churro Donut display will never be the same again.

Also, I swear I just saw Cuteguy.

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

i got ONE chicken with the granola bar and NOW IT’S DECIDED IT’S MY BEST FRIEND. it keeps trying to fly into my arms! this is not helping!!

its friends are now all over the stalls. the laser chicken breed has discovered a new staple food and it’s fried donuts. this is NOT my fault. clearly none of this is my fault.

oh god now there’s two TCG agents coming over to see what all the shouting is about. the chicken radius is growing. there’s a folk band on a bicycle and a chicken just launched itself into their tuba.

i’m going to try and round the rest of them up. keep the TCG off my back and tell hotguy to do ANYTHING HELPFUL AT ALL.

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Situation update: Cuteguy is in the middle of a huge crowd of shouting people and appears to be clutching a chicken. Also, Doctor Monster has turned up. He’s trying to give a dramatic speech about his “evolved chickens” from a nearby rooftop through a loudhailer, but I’ll be honest, everyone seems more interested in Cuteguy.

#laserchickendisaster and #whereishotguy are trending on Chatter, but no sign of Hotguy yet! Sure he doesn’t want to give us a longer quote?

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

 ------------------------------------

To: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

I have a cool contraption that you could probably use for catching chickens. downside is you do need some plutonium. Not much but, like, not a legal amount.

Alternately i also have a great recipe for roast chicken

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

we are not roasting these chickens, cub, the chickens have done nothing wrong!! And WHY DO YOU HAVE PLUTONIUM, WE TOLD YOU TO STOP THE DARK SCIENCE. DO SOMETHING USEFUL ABOUT THIS FESTIVAL SITUATION INSTEAD.

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Situation update: Doctor Monster has now turned his loudhailer on Cuteguy and accused him of stealing his evolved chickens. He seems very upset. The Doctor has declined an interview, but I’ve got some incredible photos and the powdered sugar really suits him.

I’m trying to get a quote from Cuteguy but it’s quite difficult to even see him through the crowd, and the chickens, and the German street band, and the displaced donut vendors, and the TCG agents who are trying quite earnestly to get to him, and—did I mention—the chickens.

My camera team is getting some great footage, but do you know what his plan was here?

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

everyone in the crowd thinks i own these chickens!! one of the chickens has set fire to a hot oil vat and a journalist is after me and an old lady keeps trying to hit me with her handbag!!!

DOC IS NOW TAKING POT SHOTS AT ME FOR NO REASON AT ALL. I HATE THIS JOB.

i’m behind cover

it won’t last

if you don’t get hotguy here now i’m never speaking to him again

 ------------------------------------

To: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

From: Cub

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

nooo you’re doing great man, knocking it out the park. Doesn’t sound like you need Hotguy.

you’re a hero too, right?

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

okay cub listen.

i don’t WANT hotguy. if i could fix this chicken situation without the city’s most annoying vigilante turning up to take the credit, believe me, i would have done it already.

but you know what hotguy can do? he can win the crowd. hotguy’s always on the right side. nobody would ever accuse hotguy of owning fifteen hundred laser chickens. he tells people about hope and teamwork stuff and they believe him.

oh god

the TCG are here and i’m apparently target number one.

they’ve just spotted me on this gazebo and i’ve got no good roof to jump to. i’ll have to make a run for it. if you don’t hear from me again, i might have got arrested.

hotguy spouts all that rubbish about teamwork, but hey, it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t believe in it himself!

 ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: what I’m about to suggest is legal

we should help him huh

do you know where scar is? like which cell phone towers might be close. I’ve got a map of the towers if you can give me a location.

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: this sounds NOT legal

BDUBS TO THE RESCUE, AS ALWAYS. You’re welcome.

Scar is actually recording a snack commercial over on Twelfth Street. Details in projects\casting_directors_bdubs_is_not_feuding_with\dumb_projects_we_have_to_book_for_money\Sparkle!Cereal!

  ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: this is 100% legal white hat hacking definitely

okay I’ve remotely accessed Scar’s phone and put a klaxon on it. Should be audible two hundred yards away.

I’m gonna call him now.

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Situation update from your reporter on the ground (still no quote from the guy himself?)

Cuteguy has been showing great stamina in the chase that’s been going on. The camera crew is impressed!

He is currently being pursued by:

1.   Doc

2.   Doc’s cyborg guard robot

3.   Two TCG agents

4.   Three hundred and sixty chickens (approx.), one of which believes Cuteguy is its best friend

5.   Several animal activists attempting to recapture the chickens

6.   A bar crawl that seems to think they’re doing a parade and wanted to join in

7.   A German band on a long bicycle with two clarinets and a man trying to shake a chicken out of his tuba

Cuteguy is…looking back over his shoulder?

Oh, wait! Situation update paused!

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Cuteguy <cuteguy@freemail.com>

Subject: Re: IS THIS HOTGUY’S EMAIL ANSWER RIGHT NOW

HE’S HERE

HE’S ACTUALLY HERE

FINALLY

 ------------------------------------

To: Hotguy <hotguy@hotguy.com>

From: Pearl Moon <Pearl@hermitherald.com>

Subject: Re: Hotguy appearance? (press enquiry)

Hotguy has arrived!

He’s swooped in with three trick arrow shots that set off fireworks above the crowd, rappelled straight up to Doc on the roof, and started a fist fight with him. It’s very dramatic. I’m not sure he’s actually landing any of those blows.

Helpfully for Cuteguy, no one is looking at him anymore. He’s surreptitiously putting distance between himself and the TCG agents.

Doc is now making another speech while fighting Hotguy. If I’m honest, he seems pretty happy he’s finally getting the credit for his own evil plot. We’ve got a close-up on him. Doc would like us all to know that this is the future of poultry, the future of lasers, and possibly the future of donuts? Last part a bit unclear as at that point Hotguy threw his loudhailer off the roof.

Meanwhile, Cuteguy is trying to lure the chickens away from the civilians with pieces of donut. This would be working better if the crowd weren’t all shoving forwards to try to get a better look at Doc.

Doc has taken off on a jetpack declaring he’ll “be back!”. Hotguy has given him a thumbs up.

Oh, now Hotguy has finally caught on to what Cuteguy is trying to do and is chivvying the crowd to help herd the chickens away with donuts for bait. Donuts are flying. The crowd is now enthusiastically participating in this donut-tossing activity. The chickens are delighted. Hotguy has spotted our camera team chasing him and we’re getting a lot of that action-shot this-is-my-good-side pose.

Hotguy and Cuteguy work together pretty well when they get going, huh?

Now Hotguy has swung down to land in the middle of the crowd and put an arm around each of the TCG agents, who are heavily dusted in sugar and look somewhat sheepish. What a nicely framed shot! Almost as if Hotguy pushed them into position for the cameras.

Well, I suppose I’m writing an article about how much Hotguy helps the TCG.

Your client owes me one.

Doc’s guard robot has rounded up the chickens that Hotguy and Cuteguy have funneled back into a nearby alley. It seems to be putting them in large nets. The local pizza place has a sign that says RIGATONI JONES PIZZA: CLOSED DUE TO CHICKEN EMERGENCY, and for some reason Cuteguy seems upset about this. Excitement over, I suppose?

I do hope you tell Hotguy how helpful the Herald was! Next time he’s got a tip-off to share, just tell him to remember your friendly local journalist Pearl Moon.

He knows where to find me ;)

Yours in pursuit of the truth,

Pearl Moon

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: hmm

You know, Cub, I’ve been thinking. That wasn’t bad, how you got hold of Scar. NOT BAD AT ALL. I am starting to think you might be a useful type of person to have around.

All The Best

Bdubs

 ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: Re: hmm

cheers man

i’ve rigged the klaxon so it plays when either of us or cuteguy calls scar. if he waits too long to answer it starts to play the whole Lilo and Stitch movie audio. if anyone asks this is not technically a virus.

-Cub

 ------------------------------------

To: Cub, Hotguy PR Agent

From: Bdubs

Subject: Re: hmm

I LOVE it. I love it.

You know, I have a whole list of casting directors I think you could test some virus development on. It would do them good. Keep them on their toes!! (I believe this is called…“white hat”).

I am HEREBY going to let you into my most SECRET FOLDER.

<Bdubs@scargoodtimes.com> has shared admin\nemesis_list

Maybe start with ‘casting_directors_who_do_not_recognise_bdubs_talent-spotting_genius’ and ‘producers_who_were_rude_to_scar’

 ------------------------------------

To: Bdubs, Publicity & Comms for Scar Goodtimes

From: Cub

Subject: Re: hmm

leave it to me, man

we’re gonna go far

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ START | PREVIOUS | NEXT ] [ MERCH ] [ MISC ]

My piece for the Hotguy comic zinethology! Thank you so much to editor @antimony-medusa and designer @cocoabats (I have used tumblr’s format for most of it because my eyes are too bad for pdf scaling on my phone, but for the FULL INCREDIBLE HOTGUY EXPERIENCE you will want to download the actual zine at @hotguycomiczine!!)

[fuck-customers]

Being a secretary is maddening. I spend all day hounding clients to send me their documents. The bulk of the actual work I do takes so much less time than getting nepo baby businessmen to do the bare minimum. All day I’m spam calling guys who make more money in one month than I’ll ever have in my bank account—telling them they need to spend 5 minutes at a computer to make it possible for their time sensitive task to get done. Just send me the files. Send me the files that your secretary prepared for me in a folder labeled “Send to anon at email dot com” -literally everything gets spoonfed to them and it still takes weeks- and the spot shit gets stuck on is always the execs wanting to “check” their employee’s work before sending it out… except they can’t even be assed to read the damn documents that are, I cannot stress this enough, critical for the continuation of their company that theyre so proud of. So it sits on their desk for two weeks while I bother their whole office, until they finally just send it, unread, with “DRAFT - DELETE BEFORE SENDING” in the header and a blank signature line on the bottom. Thankfully the job benefits include mental health coverage, because there is an intense concoction of prescription pharmaceuticals behind my customer service persona that makes it impenetrable. Otherwise i would genuinely flip my cubicle.

Posted by admin Rodney

[theninjazebra]

Hi! I saw your commissions post and I was wondering if you have any more info anywhere? I don't want to dm you and potentially waste your time just to get info. Do you ship physical art pieces or are you just doing digital? What's the price range? What are you offering? Thank you!

Totally fair - last night's post was a bit impulsive.

contact me via emma.weakley@gmail.com or dm here. I reply pretty fast (timezone allowing)

Generally NZD$50 - $400, depending on the size and detail.

(Do check the exchange rate though - NZD$50 is USD $28 today for example.)

$50 gets you essentially a sketch/rough drawing, with or without colour. $400 will give you art you could use as a published book cover. I stopped using commission sheets just because I found it wasn't fair to either party. Every piece is unique and needs a proper price that works to the budget.

I can do physical art, but shipping from Aotearoa/New Zealand is a fucker, especially to the US. So I recommend digital/scanned drawings purely because the shipping is so dear and art is so easily damaged. If a physical painting or drawing is important to you though I can make it work, it's just going to cost a bit.

I'll draw most things, but as in all things retain the right to walk away if I'm not comfortable with the commission or how you're talking to me. I don't expect money until you're happy with the finished product, so nothing is on the line for the client.

the process is - email me the details, I can give you a proper quote for what you're after. I'll send some drafts, when you're happy with that I'll do the bulk of the actual drawing or painting, then we do some edits. When you're happy I send a paypal invoice for the quoted price.

The only time I charge extra is when either the job has grown in scope (say you start looking for a single pet portrait, and half way through drafting you want say, 4 dogs and 2 cats all in the same painting) or after the bulk of the work is done you want changes that would essentially mean starting from scratch. This mostly just means check the drafts carefully and I'll warn if what you're asking for will mean starting again.

Commissioning an artist can be intimidating, but I go out of my way to ensure we're both protected as much as possible. And if in doubt - ask :)

previous commissions (and gifts) (now that I'm on my computer and not phone) -