#but Antoine’s dad gets the win

[justtuesdays]

moodboard: antoine

“my dad was right— sometimes, our heart knows a person before we do.”

[mishapen-dear]

okay but watching pomme and richas' family growing RACE gets so intense. okay. look.

pomme: baghera, antoine, aypierre, kameto, etoiles, bad, and max (from aypierre) for parents; dapper as sibling; maxpierre twin babies for siblings. she has ten family members in total.

richas: forever, pac, mike, cellbit, felps, roier, and quackity for parents; foolish and vegetta as grandmas; and leo as an aunt. if we count bobby as richas' deceased step-brother, then richarlyson has eleven family members in total.

they both have seven parents in total.

pomme is catching up. richas its time to start whoring your dads out again. dont let her win

[madlyn5ever]

Okay but theoretically if HSMTMTS season 4 is set around fall 2020 then does that mean that Ashlyn and Maddox are now college/ out of HS gfs?

Like Imagine Maddox is still working as a P.A. For Quinn and Ashlyn is studying acting at whatever the big Salt Lake college is and they have a dog and EJ is now working as a T.A. for Miss Jenn or another teacher at East High and Emmy’s in senior year now so she’s still doing musicals with Miss Jenn.

Ricky and Gina are obviously headliners for Quinn’s projects because after Mack left who else was gonna play Romeo? But Quinn likes their chemistry. Ricky still claims to have never seen a musical despite now having been in three.

And seb and Carlos are now making long distance work, off and on, because Carlos got sort of Scouted for his choreo skills and went from helping smaller theatre companies with their choreo to working with Broadway shows, so sometimes when Carlos is really busy with a project Seb will travel back to salt lake to help with his families farm and visit.

(I didn’t give Seb a Job because I can’t think of what he’d do. He’s just too like “sweet boy oblivious” and I don’t know what to do with him. But he has a good time for sure.)

Kourtney and Jet are planning to move in together after Kourtney graduates from Louis (Lewis?), but until then they do weekend visits when they can, sometimes to Lewis , sometimes to salt lake, and Jet perpetually follows Maddox and Ashlyn around bc he doesn’t know what to do with himself without Kourtney. They pretend to be annoyed but they secretly find it hilarious and endearing.

Big Red and Antoine got together officially after Big Red gets him to admit he’s not French to the rest of the Drama Dept. and that he’s sorry for causing trouble. Big red and Carlos also become friends again in the same way they were before after Seb and Carlos get back together, and it has a lot to do with how fond he actually is of Big Red bc he knows he’s not a bad guy. (I need this to be more than a HC because I still cannot believe they ruined his and sebs characters like that for the drama.)

During the Summers Maddox works at Shallow Lake as a full fledged counselor alongside Dewey wood because she just loves camp so much and she’s still Dewey’s favorite camper. Val helps when she can but she’s got a full job as a psychologist and doesn’t have the same flexibility as Maddox does with Quinn. EJ is a counselor too bc he gets time off in the summers being a teachers assistant and all. He spends his summers following Maddox around when he gets free time and missing Val when she’s not there. Maddox gets having feelings for Val but if she hears “Val used to call me EJ” one more time-

EJ and Val are still going strong and EJ is making plans to propose to her once his teaching Job is finally sorted out and he isn’t just a trainee anymore. (This is just cause EJ needs a win.)

(Also, when Maddox is away at camp, Jet and Ashlyn hang out. They usually do movie nights which consist of Ashlyn sharing her favorites, and Jet sharing his. Jet really likes Spider-Man, Night At The Museum, and Fantastic Mr. Fox. Ashlyn likes Grease, anything with Bette Midler in it, and the Spiderwick movies.) (they also watch baking shows together and yell at the screen when the contestants mess up their bakes when times running out)

Miss Jenn and Mr.Mazzara are the IT teacher couple at East High. This goes on for a about a year before Principle Gutierrez says that they either need to be married or someone has to quit bc it’s not in accordance with the schools policy. They have a small gathering that ends with Karaoke at the bowling alley. All of the Drama kids attend, and they finally meet Miss Jenns mother from all of her increasingly concerning stories.

Ricky’s mom and dad get back together, and they squash the divorce stuff. They are now happier than ever. (Ricky also might need a win idk)

Nini has a thriving music career. She’s just as successful as Olivia is irl.

Oh! And Natalie Bagley is ruling the world or something. That feels like something she would do. Maybe she’s president.

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Hey, hey I hope you are absolutely fabulous. I would love to request some Antoine fluff if it could please be really fluff and maybe a bit long if that’s alright I’d really appreciate it much love and stay safe ❤️❤️

Oh my gosh, yes! Anto's requests keep 'em coming! Also, sorry for the delay! It took me long to find some good inspo for the fic (Give thanks to my little cousin, I had to take care of her for three days and it was basically based on it)

I combined these two request! Hope you guys like it! Let me know what you think of this! FEEDBACK IS HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

HAPPY GRIEZMANN DAY!👑🇨🇵🤙🏻

Motherly Effects -Antoine Griezmann

Summary: You are left to take care of your ten months old niece for a weekend, leaving Antoine wanting for your future together.

You stopped your work in the kitchen to lean down and pay attention to the babygirl in front of you

"C'mon, Lottie! Let's dance it again: Una gatita que le gusta el mambo, con todos los malos sale a bellaquear" You sang in between laughter watching your 10 months-old niece, Charlotte, move herself up and down while grabbing onto her stroller and laughing "Oh my godness, you're the cutest little baby girl, ever" You giggled "Won't your dad want to give you away to me?" You asked picking up the baby in your arms as she hugged you

"I don't think Miguel would like that, chérie" You turned around watching your boyfriend of three years and fiancé of four months, Antoine look at you both with a smile on his face

"Nah! I can try something up, besides Lottie loves spending time with us, doesn't she?" You tickled her belly making her laugh out loud "See? She does"

"How long is she spending time with us?"

"For the weekend" You announced "You okay with it?" Antoine nodded with a smile on

"Of course, little baby Y/L/N has all of us wrapped around her little finger and she's nice" Anto grabbed her hand and did as if he was going to bite it

You gasp in surprise "Uncle Anto is going to eat your hand! Tell him: Uncle what are you doing?"

She tried to repeat your words with a lot of "tata's"

"Oh, she got angry" Both of you laughed a little "Amor, how was practice?" You ask leaning up a bit with intentions of kissing his lips

Antoine met you halfway, leaning down a bit

"It was good. I still win test races against Memphis" You smiled turning around to continue your work in the kitchen with the ten months old baby on your hip

Antoine smiled at your form, leaning back in the table and watched you do your thing. You looked natural, like you've already done this several times

"You are just on your best form" You complimented him watching a little blush form on his cheeks

"I still have a long way to go, tho" He replied leaning onto the kitchen counter lightly as you bounced the babygirl in your arms

"Still, Anto. You're-" Charlotte's cries interrupted you "What? What's wrong, baby?" You asked her in a soft voice "Hungry? My baby's hungry?" You put a bit of her compote in front of her and she looked away but kept on crying"Let's go and see how's that temperature, then" You walked to her bag that was laid on the table

"Is she sick?" You shook her head, passing her to Antoine

"Her teeth's are coming out. Miguel told me she may get a bit of temperature but nothing to worry about" You explained grabbing the digital termometer and pulling it in her ear "She's fine" You said after checking

"Water?" Anto asked as you looked at your niece in expectation

"Lottie" You said softly after a while "Do you need a change?" You ask with a joking tone making the little girl stop a bit her crying and hide her face into your fiancé's neck "You little sneaky monster!" You exclaimed, the two of you laughing a little as you saw Lottie cling into Antoine "C'mon, let's get that little ass clean! We're up for a shower!"

Antoine passed her to you as you made your way to your bathroom to clean her up, Lottie's crying subsiding a bit. Anto followed you silently watching you mesmerized.

Stood in the doorway, he saw how you pulled silly faces to the little girl who started crying after feeling the cold water hit her little frame when you showered her, how you started telling her "Auntie! Say auntie!" again and again seeing as she still hadn't said her first proper words besides 'Tata', he also watched you with a smile on his face and a loving look on his eyes be so motherly with the little Y/L/N girl, thinking how would you be with your kids one day.

You guys have been together for three years, and have gotten recently engaged, it's obvious that kids and marriage has been a subject you guys have talked about, both of you wanted it, even tho Antoine was a still reluctant about the kids, seeing as he already had two but you didn't mind it.

If he didn't wanted it, he didn't wanted it. It made you sad, yes. But you understood where was he coming from. Besides you loved his kids to death and meanwhile the little Mía knew you were like a second mother, Amaro still didn't understand much of it.

And you came to made peace with it.

But right now, watching how you act with a newborn baby, made him think of how your pregnancy belly would look, of the small moments of your little family... If you had a little boy, would he look exactly like him with but with your intelligence and way of being? Or if it's a babygirl, she could have his blonde hair but your eyes and your cheerful presence? His joking and your seriousness?

He was daydreaming of everything.

And he loved what he was thinking.

"In my little round face, I have eyes and a nose, as well as a little mouth to sing and laugh" You started singing making Charlotte be aware of all your movements with a face of concentration and surprise "With my eyes I see everything, with my nose I do... achish! With my mouth like coconut and popcorn" She smiled after you ended up the little song as Antoine stood there knowing exactly what he wanted.

You turned around with the baby in your arms and stood still watching how Antoine was looking at you

"What?"

"What what?" He asked

"What's with the face?"

"What face?"

"The one you've" You giggled

"That's the one that made you fall in love with me" You blushed nodding

"It's pretty" You said as matter of fact watching him smile "But what's up?"

"You're just... so pretty, chérie" You blushed walking over to him.

You leaned a bit and gave him a kiss on his lips

"You're supposed to say that. You're my fiancé"

"Being and not being your fiancé you know I find you absolutely gorgeous" You smiled feeling how Lottie waved her hand in front of you "You're going to steal Y/N away from me, young lady?" The baby laughed "I won't let you! I came here first!"

"Antoine!"

"She must know!" You giggled passing besides Anto to be once more in the living room, ready to prepare Charlotte to her bedtime "I'm going to change" You nodded smiling

You put some light music on the TV to help the baby fall asleep quicker so you could continue your work in the kitchen and be alone for a few minutes with your man.

When Antoine came down a few minutes later, he saw Charlotte asleep on your chest as you were scrolling down on your phone. He plopped next to you on the couch, pulling you into him without waking up the babygirl

"I want one" He said out of nowhere making you look up from your screen

"What?" You asked not really catching what he had said

You watched how Antoine took a deep breath and let it out slowly "I want a baby with you" He said looking at you

Your heart felt like doing somersaults when you heard him speak. "What? Why? How?" You were impressed, a good impressed.

You knew about your lover's past relationship but still wanted to form a family with him and his kids

"Seeing you with Lottie" He shook his head "...Made me realize I miss the baby experiences and that I would love to have you as mother of one of my kids, you just have this motherly effect, even tho you're not a mom, yet. I walked through that door and when I saw you with her I could only think of having a mini you or mini me running around this big house, Mía and Amaro taking care of them, us, together, being happy and having everything we ever dreamed of. Watching you in this "mom-state" forever is... Something I will never get tired of. I know I was a bit reluctant of having another one but I just changed my mind and if you still want us to have a-" You cut Antoine off with a kiss on his lips

"Of course I want to. I have been imagining a little boy with Y/H locks like his mom and blue bright eyes just like his dad's, ever since we moved in together" You admited shyly. Antoine smiled

"Baby Griezmann Y/L/N" He said as you smiled

"I would like to get married first, tho" You said after a few minutes of silence but the soft music playing as a background, Anto smiled "I can't wait to become Mrs. Y/L/N Griezmann" He kissed your cheek

"We can do whatever you want to do, Mrs. Y/L/N soon-to-be Griezmann" You smiled kissing his lips

"Will Mía and Amaro like the fact they could have another sibling?"

"They would" Antoine nodded "They're just like that, they would love that idea" Anto let a little laugh out "I can already imagine Amaro being an older brother"

"And taking into consideration how protective he is... Imagine if we have a little girl"

"He would so knock down all boys that come after them" He said making both of you laugh

And that's how you spent the rest of the night, laying in your couch, you with Charlotte on your chest, Antoine wrapping both of you in his arms as you guys talked about your awaited future together.

[gay-jesus-probably]

You have a relative that won the Stanley Cup I have a relative that didn't win the cup but played NHL and was in the Olympics

I'm Native so I get the big extended family thing I think he's a second cousin or something

Oh nice, olympics hockey is always a blast; if your second cousin plays for Canada, I hope they're damn good lmaoo. And to be fair, I would not call Jean Beliveau a close relative of mine; like, I know we must both be descended from one specific guy who came to Canada in like 1650 (Antoine Belliveau), aaand I think the extended Belliveau clan also all has a mutual ancestor in Pierre Belliveau about a century later; pretty sure he was the only Belliveau to survive the Acadian genocide. But he had like eleven kids, so like 250 years later I think there's like two thousand Beliveau's scattered around Canada and the northern US, under various spellings of the name. It's honestly not that big a deal; I'm related to Jean Beliveau the same way anyone with the last name Broussard is related to Beyonce. Very distantly, but damn if it doesn't feel cool to brag about it to people.

(...that's not a joke btw, Beyonce is also Acadian, Francois Broussard came to Acadia in 1653, and Beyonce is one of his many descendants; if your name is Broussard, you're Beyonce's very distant cousin. You're welcome.)

But I feel you about having a whole bunch of something-th cousins; none of my aunts wound up having kids, so I've just got a whole bunch of cousins of assorted flavours. Made more confusing by the fact that my dad grew up with two of his cousins and considers them to be his sisters, though they're not, and I genuinely can't tell if the two of them have a third sister or if she's a different cousin, and frankly at this point it's far too late to ask. I have no idea how the fuck I'm related to anyone in my family; at this point all I really know is that of my surviving family I've got one grandma, one aunt, two aunts that are actually first cousins once removed (and maybe it's actually three but I don't know), an uncle that's actually my great-uncle and oh my god I just realized I actually have no idea where great-uncle Sulo fits into the family tree, I think all the cousins I know came from great-uncle Jerry. FUCK. My dead grandma only had two brothers, this should not be so hard, but oh dear lord is it ever hard.

And that's just one branch of dad's family. Jesus lord. Don't even get me started on mom's side of the family, which is also fucking enormous; my paternal grandpa had six siblings, and all seven of them had children, while my living grandmother also has a bunch of siblings with their own kids. It's so much, I literally couldn't even begin to guess at how many maternal cousins I have, it's absurd.

[talknerdytome18]

𝐇𝐒𝐌𝐓𝐌𝐓𝐒 𝐚𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Best TV show ever (Real). Literally need to rewatch it because it's so good!

Gina Porter as Rapunzel: She is such a Rapunzel. Gina has such a heart of gold and is so fiercely loyal to those around her. Also, imagine her singing The Girl Who Has Everything??? Omg??? This is her role.

Ricky Bowen as Eugene FitzHerbert: Ricky is such a Eugene. He's hilarious, charming, wins over everyone's hearts, and is such a supportive boyfriend like Eugene is to Rapunzel. Also, the chemistry between him and Gina would be INSANE.

Ashlyn Caswell as Cassandra: Yes, this may seem like an unexpected choice, but I think Ashlyn would be incredible as Cassandra. She can be snarky, witty and sarcastic on the outside, but deeply cares about the ones she loves on the inside. The bickering between her and Ricky would kill me too.

Seb Matthew-Smith as Varian: LITERALLY THE MOST PRECIOUS CHARACTERS IN THE WORLD. Seb is such a Varian and I am not just saying this because Varian was voiced by Jeremy Jordan... who also originated Jack Kelly in Newsies, but Seb would nail the misunderstood antagonist who redeems himself in S3. IMAGINE HIM SINGING LET ME MAKE YOU PROUD? NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE WITH ASHLYN? READY AS I'LL EVER BE? TRUST ME ON THIS, OKAY?

Jet as Lance Strongbow: Lance was hard to cast but I ultimately went with Jet. This is because just like Lance, Jet did come off as arrogant at first but once his walls were torn down, he was easygoing and a true softie at heart. Also, the bond between him and Ricky would be immaculate.

Mr. Mazzara and Miss Jenn as King Frederic and Queen Adrianna: The true parents of HSMTMTS. These two just care about their wildcat children deeply, just like how Adrianna and Frederic care about Rapunzel.

Emmy and Alex as Keira (Angry) and Catalina (Red): The youngest on HSMTMTS will be playing the children on TTS. Their bond would just be so pure just like how they played Young Elsa and Young Anna in Frozen.

Lily as Zhan Tiri: Do I even need to explain? DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN? LILY IS ZHAN TIRI PERIOD.

Antoine/Andy as Andrew: Shady boys who appear charming at first but are actually deceitful and have ulterior intentions. Listen, I know that Antoine/Andy is now "redeemed", but he's playing Andrew no matter what.

EJ Caswell as The Captain of the Guards: Beefing with Ricky just like how the Captain beefs with Eugene. He also gets to play Ashlyn's dad and he would LOVE getting to boss her around.

Big Red as Shorty: Clueless kings who are supportive to the ones they love and are quite loyal... we don't talk about S4 Big Red, okay? My man is loyal and not whatever they did to him in S4.

Kourtney Greene as Adira: I didn't know what to do with her, but she does have that fierceness that Adira has.

Maddox as Vex (S2): The no-nonsense attitude that Vex has reminds me of Maddox, especially regarding Maddox's attitude towards following the rules and stage management.

Carlos Rodriguez as Xavier: I don't really know anyone for Carlos. Maybe he would be a great Eugene?

Might drop my Criminal Minds cast list next, then Ride the Cyclone.

[scaryscarecrows]

What are they (maybe including Jay) like drunk? Have any major secrets been spoiled that way?

Antoine: Sure, secrets have been spilled. To me, not by me.

Jimmy: I don't think he gets drunk.

Antoine: New Orleans Moonshine'll do it. Sometimes. Or that stuff from Frank's still, that worked.

Frank: I told you, boy, that was not your momma's liquor.

Antoine: It was good! But. Wow.

Jimmy: Pretty bubbly, I guess? I don't drink with people too often. It's a security risk.

Frank: Maudlin. I don't drink much these days, but I do make a nice batch. ;) Every now and again I'll get the hankerin' to be properly shitfaced.

Riley: Yeah...

Mark: He'll fight God, the Devil, and his own damn reflection.

Riley: And win!

Mark: Suuuure. I don't drink much. If I get called in, I can't be whee-oooo, so the most I have is a glass of wine or a seltzer now and again.

Trent: Sleepy. Night-night, motherfuckers.

Riley: >-) I'm not saying I glued faked butterflies on his head. I'm just saying it happened once.

Trent: WITH SUPERGLUE, YOU LITTLE SHIT.

Riley: They came off.

Jason: Never been drunk. Had a shot, once--I asked Dove, to be a smartass, right? My mistake--but my dad was...he wasn't too bad, when he was around and sober, but he was a dickish drunk.

[biblionerd07]

In season one, Jules:

-sang some obscure song with Elsa in a restaurant in front of everyone LESS THAN AN HOUR AFTER MEETING HER just because they both knew the song and she was so excited

-shut down the restaurant host’s subtle joke about Elsa being weird and bringing the check before they even ordered

-built up her self-confidence every time she was down on herself

-mixed her her own signature track ft the obscure song they sang together on their first date

-listened to her talk about clownfish for God knows how long

-supported her against her narcissist asshole mother

-hung out with her at her birthday party even after her friends were absolute trash to him and literally shut the door in his face

-gave up his entire lifestyle to be with her

-LOVES HIS MOTHER

-blurted out his life story in public in front of her asshole ex because he was so desperate to make things right with her

-is beautiful and sweet and charming and has dimples

-refused asshole ex’s money and the rent controlled apartment for his mom because he would never do Elsa like that

And the season 2 writers think Elsa would respond by being ashamed of him, lying to him, hiding their relationship from her friends, and slut shaming and telling him she’s disgusted by his past job as a sex worker. That! Doesn’t! Make! Sense!!!!! Elsa, who spills her embarrassing truths to him immediately and specifically says “I hate lies” and is heartbroken to find out everyone’s being lying to her about the guy she’s totally falling for, WOULD NOT TURN AROUND AND LIE TO EVERYONE! I actually don’t even care about her lying to her friends because they were so horrible to her in season 2 and needed intense therapy and work on boundaries even in season 1, but she would not lie to Jules/Julio like that. I’m just so mad about season 2 and I want Netflix to give us a third season so we can actually see them happily in a relationship like we and they deserve. Also Charlotte and Julio would totally be buds and I demand a season where I get to see this.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 303: And What, Pray Tell, Is a “One For All”

Previously on BnHA: The Todorokis (really just Enji) looked at their children and went “how can we screw up all four of them in uniquely different ways” and proceeded to do just that. Touya was all “just because practicing how to set myself on fire better hasn’t worked to win my dad’s affections YET doesn’t mean it will NEVER work”, because child logic. Turns out setting oneself on fire real hard isn’t so effective at winning affections, but is actually incredibly effective when it comes to burning oneself to death, so there’s that. Back in the present day, the Todorokis basked in their various misplaced (again, except for Enji) feelings of guilt, and were all “anyway but get over yourself already Enji, you still have to do something to stop this kid”, and Shouto was all “I’ll help too”, and Enji was all “(╥_╥)”, and Hawks and Jeanist were all “[surreptitiously listening in from outside the door]”, and that’s basically where we left off.

Today on BnHA: Hawks and Jeanist are all “mind if we join you on this family journey?” and proceed to stroll in uninvited with their puns and their perceptive insights. Hawks is all “so to sum everything up, we’re fucked, but at least you have us here to help you out! by the way, no clue why I’m the first person to ask this in three hundred chapters, but wtf is One For All.” We then cut to Deku, who’s still all “[(－－)]z”, and All Might, who is all “I’m just going to ignore the extremely loud racket going on right outside this room.” Which, btw, is happening on account of Bakugou, who is all “(╬◣Д◢)” as Satou, Tsuyu, and Mineta cart him away. Anyway so that’s a lot of antics, and also it looks like Hawks has gotten tired of the Todorokis refusing to put the pieces together on their own about OFA and so he is fast-tracking that shit. And meanwhile Deku is chatting it up with the Vestiges exactly like we all thought. And now we have to wait another whole week for updates on all of this. This really is not fair.

omfg lol

“our bad, we were kind of accidentally listening in on purpose.” like I said last week guys, no fuss. it’s a tradition

OMG

I am absolutely fucking floored. Hawks literally said that so casually that it’s impossible for me to rewrite it so as to be even more casual. that’s literally what I would write in the “today on bnha” section. in fact I probably will write that

(ETA: just for laughs I tried it and it really worked.)

a couple more things to point out about this panel: 

“TOP 3” omg yes. more like “top only” at this point, honestly. interested to see how that goes

Hawks’s phone is freaking the fuck out about something, calm down there

I know this is a standard Jeanist hair-fixing gesture that he does all the time, but I can’t help but form hypotheses about this being a stress reaction because Hawks’s hair is making him internally freak out. Hawks, if this man tries to get you alone with him and some hairspray and a comb, please for the love of god do not listen to him. get out of there and call the authorities

omg Shouto’s face

okay confession, I wasn’t really sold on the whole “Shouto has a schoolboy crush on Hawks” thing until exactly now, when I became 100% sold on it. that is adorable

and heck with it, gotta show Enji and Rei’s reactions here as well because lol

“omg my son who’s not my son, and he just overheard everything about me being a terrible shitty father and person overall, oh and plus my actual-son set him on fire and called him out on a national broadcast. I’m just gonna stare at him baffledly.” versus Rei, who is all “hmm, who are these people”

so Hawks is all “I got released from the hospital after one day for some reason so I made Jeanist drive me around places while we talked about life” but uh, heyyyyy, what’s Rei doing

okay, uh

SO FUCKING FORMAL OMFG. “SORRY MY KID TRIED TO BURN YOU TO DEATH, APPARENTLY HE DOES THAT” REI NO IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

HAWKS IS ALL “I’M JUST GONNA LAUGH SINCE THAT’S MY DEFAULT RESPONSE TO BEING PROFOUNDLY UNCOMFORTABLE”

let me tell you a secret Hawks, it’s my default response too. ahahahahahahaha oh thank god Jeanist is helping her up -- AND MAKING A JEANS PUN, OF COURSE. IT’S BEEN ALMOST THIRTY SECONDS. MY MAN WAS DYING

“WTF IS ILLEGAL DENIM” he’s talking ‘bout them counterfeit jeans, Rei. Antoine Bugleboy knows

THANK YOU JEANIST!! OUT HERE ASKING THE RELEVANT QUESTIONS

damn straight. we’re not gonna sit around waiting another 300 chapters for this information on this man’s watch

now Hawks is telling Endeavor he used to watch videos of him all the time, and calling him his “childhood obsession” I can’t

OH MY SWEET STARS AND MOONS

1000% CANON. “SO CLOSE...” ARE YOU SERIOUS. YOU REALLY PUT THAT THOUGHT BUBBLE THERE AND EVERYTHING. “GOOD MORNING EVERYONE, SO JUST IN CASE YOU WEREN’T ALREADY AWARE, TODOROKI SHOUTO IS NOT ACTUALLY STRAIGHT.” HORIKOSHI KOUHEI I AM LITERALLY DUMBFOUNDED. THIS IS AMAZING

and meanwhile that look on Hawks’s face while he casually-but-not-really-casually-at-all asks this question. that phone app better be using his actual voice. I’m not sure I could take this scene in the anime at this point if it was like Alexa talking or something

that look in his eyes is basically saying that so far, based on the information he has absorbed up until this point, Hawks is prepared to view his former childhood obsession as a flawed but changed man. however I get the distinct feeling that depending on Endeavor’s answer now, he would be willing to drastically shift some of his opinions on him

(ETA: this is maybe my favorite panel in the entire chapter. the fact that his question isn’t addressed to anyone in particular, but his eyes are zeroing on on Endeavor. and the way his leaning-on-Shouto pose manages to be simultaneously nonchalant and yet ever-so-slightly protective. there’s so much going on in this one question and gesture and I’m mildly obsessed with it.)

however, Rei is all “that was me” and ONCE AGAIN WITH THE FACES IN THIS CHAPTER holy shit

Hawks definitely did not see that one coming sob. it’s so fun watching him frantically recalculate his ideas about this family every two seconds

DAMN IT HORIKOSHI I UNDERSTOOD THE PARALLELS ALREADY, YOU REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THIS

yes, Hawks, you get it. it’s not exactly the same, but it’s close enough. though unlike your shitty parents, Rei and Enji are at least trying

OKAY I SERIOUSLY CANNOT WITH ALL OF THIS

fljkdlaskfjlwkjl okay we’re doing the bullet-points breakdown here

first of all, the fact that poor little Shouto’s heart is still thumping away at this proximity and all he can think is “CLOSE” all intelligently as he stares at him with that face omg

and meanwhile Horikoshi has these STRATEGIC BANDAGES WRAPPED AROUND HIS CHEEKS TO HIDE ALL OF HIS SHOUJO BLUSHING omfg. SENPAI NOTICED YOU SWEETIE!!!

HAWKS YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY ZERO OBLIGATION TO WASTE ANOTHER SECOND OF YOUR LIFE WORRYING ABOUT THESE TWO ASSHOLES WHO NEVER SPARED YOU THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF REGARD OR CONCERN IN THEIR ENTIRE LIVES. THE NICEST THING YOUR MOM EVER DID FOR YOU WAS BUY YOU A $2 ENDEAVOR PLUSH FROM THE DISCOUNT BIN TO KEEP YOU QUIET, AND YOU WERE SO AWED BY THAT ONE ACT OF SORTA KINDA APPROXIMATE KINDNESS THAT YOU SHAPED YOUR ENTIRE WORLDVIEW AROUND IT. PLEASE LET ME PICK YOU UP IN A BIG HUG FOR JUST A SEC, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND YOU WERE ONE THOUSAND PERCENT JUSTIFIED IN LEAVING THEM IN THE DUST THE SECOND THAT YOU COULD

but all that said, he immediately recognizes that Shouto would also have had cause to do the same in his situation, and yet hasn’t. and so he has that much more admiration for him all of a sudden, which is just super sweet, and fully appropriate. Shouto does deserve props. I’m choosing to take this as an “it takes a lot of strength to be able to forgive, and people who choose to do that even though they’re not obligated to are really amazing" type of thing, as opposed to “people who don’t forgive other people who severely wronged them are bad.” and if I’m wrong and Hawks’s line here is meant to be seen as actual failing on his part, well then fuck that, but we’ll move on

SO NOW, DOWN TO BUSINESS!

I am so, so curious as to what kind of strategy Hawks has for this (if he even has any), so I’ll just be quiet now and read

so Hawks is summing up basically what we already knew -- that Tomura and his inner circle (curious that there’s no mention of AFO, because if Hawks doesn’t know about him, that implies almost no one does) are still on the lam with a few PLF stragglers and some High Ends; that a bunch of prisons have been “liberated” (I assume this means all of the inmates escaped, so if that’s the case then where’s Kurogiri??); that the HPSC is fucked; and that heroes are resigning all over the place, and so civilians are taking matters into their own hands

OH DAMN!?

does this mean we’ll actually see some international heroes?? I will LOSE MY DAMN SHIT omg

(ETA: apparently people who paid more attention to the first BnHA movie than I did recognized the silhouettes as belonging to some background characters from Two Heroes. so maybe they were just cameos and they’re not actually new characters who are soon to join us lol. oh well.)

anyway so Hawks agrees with the other Todorokis that Endeavor has no choice but to fight

awww

DON’T WORRY ENJI THEY’VE GOT YOUR BACK. WITH YOUR FLAMES, AND JEANIST’S PUNS, AND HAWKS’S BOYISHLY GOOD LOOKS, THE THREE OF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU SET YOUR MINDS TO

so Enji is very pertinently asking why they’re standing by him in spite of the... [gestures vaguely to everything]

oh my lordy lord

Shouto you had better do something to combat this soon, or this man will sneak past you on my favorite character ranking after all. his face. his cheeky lil finger gun. the fact that he sums it up so fucking simply. “if someone is trying to do the right thing, I want to support them.” exactly. exactly

(ETA: and one last thing I love but forgot to mention, which is the fact that Hawks calls it a team-up despite the fact that he is clearly in charge.)

meanwhile Jeanist is all “as for me, at this point I just straight up don’t give a fuck”

I can’t handle how fucking cool this chapter is you guys

so Hawks is all “you good?” at Enji. and Enji...

if anyone needs me, I will be building myself a discourse-proof fort made entirely out of problematic characters. I don’t even care. I will go on living my life very happily in here

lol at Natsu being all “BUT DON’T THINK THIS MAKES US FRIENDS”

I’m living for this weird and no-doubt entirely unintended implication that Natsu and them all are gonna join in the fight with the rest of them. I mean, they do presumably all have very powerful ice quirks. and Natsu has medical training on top of that, and Fuyu is skilled at getting eight-year-olds to behave which could be a useful talent for dealing with Tomura hahaha I kid, but I’M JUST SAYING. who needs hero licenses anyway

OH SHIT FINALLY SOME DISCUSSION OF AN ACTUAL STRATEGY. even if it’s just a PR strategy

WHAKLHL

and now for some reason we’re flashing back to Natsu and Fuyu’s attempts to navigate through the media crowd outside the hospital

well I guess this is why I’m not the mangaka. if I were writing this I would have done something trite and predictable like using that “One for All” line as an excuse to cut to Deku!! as opposed to this entirely unrelated scene!!

seriously though why do we need to see this lol

no one in this crowd has ever heard of Alexander Dumas huh. or even the popular 2007 Disney Channel original movie, High School Musical 2

so now there’s an entire page of Hawks saying they need to know what One for All is, and Endeavor having one of those patented Todoroki WHOOSH realizations lmao look at this

just wait until this man figures out that one of the scrappy new interns he took on three months ago was actually the main character all along

SKDFIOHWIERLKSJGLWLK!!

NOW IS PROBABLY A GOOD TIME TO ASK MYSELF WHY I CHOSE THIS CHARACTER WHO KEEPS DISAPPEARING FOR SIX OR TWELVE OR FORTY CHAPTERS AT A TIME TO BE MY FUCKING FAVORITE. WELCOME BACK SON PLEASE DON’T SCREAM YOURSELF TO DEATH YOU STILL HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(ETA: can we just take a moment to appreciate how Bakugou even got so close to Deku’s room in the first place though. in this giant hospital with no idea of where to even go. does he have Deku Radar or something.)

YOU SIX ARE OFFICIALLY ON MY HIT LIST!! SPARE ME YOUR GOOD INTENTIONS!! MY BAKUDEKU REUNION KEEPS GETTING POSTPONED WEEK AFTER WEEK!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE HEROES WHERE IS YOUR CONCEPT OF MERCY

(ETA: btw just to be clear, I’m not actually angry lol; it makes total sense that they don’t want this rampaging feral toddler who was still in his own coma all of fifteen minutes ago to come and start screaming at the other coma child until he tears all his stitches out. if there’s anything we Bakugou fans should be familiar with by now, it’s being patient.)

also, Tsuyu wrapping her tongue around Bakugou’s still-healing torso wound absolutely can’t be hygienic at all. also wait is that Inko??

(ETA: pretty sure it is her. she got all of one line smdh.)

Iida is all “thank god Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight pulled through, I thought for sure he was a goner back there”

for the record this is actually really sweet to see how relieved he is. he’s one of the few people who saw the original injury close up, back when he was still at the battlefield and unconscious, so I imagine it really did freak him out quite a bit

JIROUUUUUU

“sometimes I just like to stand here and tug on my imaginary suspenders, what of it”

how come you guys get to loiter around Deku’s room but Kacchan doesn’t. god fucking dammit. AND WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN

I BET KACCHAN COULD WAKE HIM UP FROM HIS COMA WITH THE POWER OF RIVAL INTENSITY!! BUT NOOOOOOOO, [is dragged away back to my fort]

OH MY GOD!?!

"this seems to be an entirely normal and above-board situation that we have just stumbled onto”

I see Jeanist comes from the Iida Tenya school of respectfully using people’s full names

Jeanist becoming one of the main characters is the best thing to ever happen to this series

EXCUSE YOU, IIDA

BUT I’M SURE HE’D MAKE AN EXCEPTION FOR KACCHAN THOUGH!! [elbowing my way back out of the fort] HAWKS, PLEASE --

DON’T GO ALL OMINIOUSLY PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER ALL ON YOUR OWN GODDAMMIT

“there’s absolutely no way this angry wriggling shoulder burrito kid here could answer literally all of my questions, so I’ll just ignore him”

OH MY GOD WE’RE FINALLY CUTTING BACK TO HIM BUT THE CHAPTER IS ENDING

[jumps up, throws a folding chair at Iida and the rest of the gang, and then runs]

oh my god. actually this chapter was awesome. but I’m so fucking mad at this cliffhanger though lol

at least we got a couple of answers! and some hints and teases! poor Deku looks so worn out even though he’s asleep dlwkjl my little green baby. and is it just me or is his quirk activated?? All Might’s all “I can feel it” as if it isn’t obvious just looking at him, why are you trying to be all mysterious dude

anyway! so at least we finally have confirmation and a date for those vestige antics at long last. looking forward to meeting Mister The Fourth next week so we can finally ask him “hey dude, what the fuck”

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x07 Review

The Field Trip was a campy ep that recaptured some of the charm of S1. Let’s dig in!

S2 has often struggled with taking itself too seriously but finally we got some good campy fun that reminded me of why S1 was so great. North High finally come into their own as villains. The Howie reveal was very well done, poor Kourtney inadvertently being the source of the leaks. I can’t tell if Antoine’s accent is bad on purpose or not but he was funny tonight when he dragged Big Red and I loved how forward he was with Ashlyn. It’s good that the trio of new characters finally feel like they’re part of a larger plot rather than being somewhat random additions to the cast.

Lily continues to act like she’s on Glee which is exactly the right energy for the role. The stick to the stuff you know line was great as was Seb’s bop to the top retort. North High clearly won the dance off though Gina being in a skirt limited her. Lily was doing it with bad intentions but she was absolutely right that the rose song was a dig at Ricky and didn’t fit the musical and that they’d be disqualified for performing it. Miss Jenn should have already known they’d be disqualified for adding it and Ricky should have already been able to tell that the song was about him. I think it’s more and more likely that Lily is the party crasher who Ricky re-evaluates in 2x12 and she could well be the unexpected face time call he gets in 2x10.  

It took 7 eps but we finally got an ep where Gina wasn’t upset over Ricky and thank god for that; the constant angst was sucking the life out of her plot. Of course, the reason she wasn’t going through it is because she was spending her time with EJ. I think this ep should put to rest any notion of Portwell just being platonic. Some people are still clinging to Matt’s interview where he refers to EJ and Gina as friends but he was clearly being misleading, even if nothing else happens it’s clear that Gina is not just a friend to EJ. I’ve seen people try and claim that Gina and EJ are like siblings with each other or that they’re practically related because Gina is roommates with EJ’s cousin as if there’s some sort of Westermarck effect by proxy but family members don’t pretend to be dating. 

The morning show was a lot of fun and the fake dating was cute. In contrast to the last time they fake dated back in 1x05 we can see how much happier and more comfortable they are with each other now. Notably they had EJ circle back to it well after it happened which led to Gina’s line about everything going back to normal which is a tell that everything has not gone back to normal for them. We can see EJ’s inherent goofiness shining through with the Risotto inside joke they now have. Much like Joshaya on GMW there are valid reasons to not go ahead with the ship, although Portwell doesn’t have the creepiness or borderline illegality of Joshaya, but the chemistry between the characters is real and can’t be ignored. 

Rini hurtles towards a breakup which could come as soon as next ep. Hard to tell if Ricky was in denial or just too stupid to understand the songs meaning. I'd prefer the former since a 17 year old would have to lack basic comprehension skills to not understand that the lyrics were a thinly veiled attack on him.

Nini trying to claim it was just a song at the end was disingenuous, she didn’t want Ricky to hear it for a reason. Her deciding to use her given name Nina for her music account is obviously meant to symbolize her independence from Ricky since he first gave her that nickname back in the first grade. However, it makes Ricky seem like some malign influence on her basically her entire life when it’s not like he forced her to go by Nini or prevented her from going back to Nina during the 10 odd years of their friendship/relationship together.

Miss Jenn and Zachie were fun but such a risk on his part to steal the mask, that’s trespassing and theft and a sure disqualification not to mention the very real risk of being criminally charged. The door is now closed on Jike and Jachie and the path for Jazarra is open.

Rouge Grand was funny but I hope this Redlyn angst isn’t dragged out too long. 

Mob song wasn’t good, the skrillex beat drop was not needed. Around You was good though. I just noticed that Tim abandoned, or was forced to by covid, his plan to have 3 songs per ep instead of 2 which is for the best I think. 

Looking Ahead:

Looks like next week will be a big one for Portwell and EJ in general. We get Gaston, career day with EJ’s dad, and then EJ hanging with Gina and helping her knit which is very domestic. I’d bet if you showed that clip of them knitting to someone who had never seen the show  they’d assume the character were dating. So it looks like Mr. Caswell has bought EJ’s way into Duke which is no longer EJ’s dream, if it ever was.

As I said last week, there’s a clear path forward for Portwell to get together in the season finale and next ep will probably take a big step towards making it happen. We have the chemistry, we’ve gotten moments between them, and we know EJ’s feelings, we just need Gina to recognize her budding feelings for EJ. I think Gina running into Jack at the airport in 2x09 will help her clear her head on what she wants and a part of that will be whether she still wants to try and be with Ricky or does she want to take a chance with EJ.

Obviously S3 will almost certainly leave Portwell in the dust in order to do Rina for a bit which will piss off a lot of fans but Tim’s screwed himself over here; there’s really no way that this series ends without a large chunk of the audience being bitterly disappointed over who’s endgame. Love triangles are a done to death trope but they typically involve some minor characters who can written off once the triangle is over, not main characters who have to be in every ep no matter what. 

More Redlyn angst next week as well as the wildcats being benched for a week due to trespassing at North High. 

A lot of people think that the show is having Nini get into songwriting because of Olivia’s success but the scripts would have been written before she released Driver’s License and shot to stardom. She’s also still contracted for two more seasons though she’d clearly leave before that if Disney would let her. 

The Rini treehouse scene could well be the breakup, gotta go my own way would fit well if that’s the case. This is another area where Tim needs to tread carefully. He can’t have Rini hate each other or avoid each other for the remaining 20 odd eps of the series but also can’t fully close the door on them since he’ll almost certainly have Rini be endgame as they graduate from East High at the end of S4. 

At this point it seems pretty unrealistic that East High would win the Menkies but this is a tv show so who knows. There’s one big song left that would work for some of the couples they, Something There, which could work for Portwell, Howell, or Rina so we’ll see if we get it.

2x07 marks the last of the clips we saw in the original S2 trailer so we’re largely flying blind now.

Until next week wildcats. 

[organic-guacamole]

Alright here's the real post of ep206

as usual, spoiler alert.

I'm literally so late today omg😭

I watched it with @sunshine-julie-molina and another friend so it was worth the wait✋

North high's video i-

I still don't think it should be "legal" in terms of the competition rules but whatever. Antoine is adorable though, as expected.

AW SEBBY

He's not wrong, they probably will win because of ✨ friendship✨

Ok but... imagine a seb and EJ friendship 🥲

GINAAAAAA

That exit sign thing shouldn't have been as funny as it was✋

Ashlyn babyyyy

I'm just gonna say it, I'm glad the writers picked up the Ashlyn insecurity thing, but I really really hope they execute it properly.

I don't like how they're not just explicitly saying it. Like it's not a bad word, why can't you just say that she feels that because she's not skinny and fitting into society's typical image of "the perfect princess", that she can't be Belle.

She thinks she's too fat to be Belle.

There, was that so hard to say Disney?

As someone that's insecure about their weight and body image, I don't appreciate how they're constantly hinting at it instead of outright saying it. I think if they play it out right, showing how Ashlyn compares herself to Lily more, it could work.

INFINITY PLUS ONE VIBES WITH THAT BALL EXERCISE.

Seb hula hooping omg don't touch me

Why is he so adorable all the time

Not them getting me all excited about a seblos improv scene, just for them to cut away✋

Finally Ashlyn stops trying so hard to get through to Gina, I mean yeah you offered up your home, friendship, support and love to her, and Gina's just been brushing you off but come on hear her out.

If you can't tell, that is complete sarcasm. Good for you Ashlyn for knowing your worth /gen.

EEEEE MIKE BOWEN HAS ARRIVEDDDDDD

They're so sweet, I swear if they aren't endgame...I'm perfectly fine with jennzzara. It's a cool subplot but I couldn't care less who she gets with, they both like her a lot so I'd be happy either way.

Please I felt like I was intruding on that kiss uhhh.

🥰😍❤️✨EJ✨❤️😍🥰

I want that grey sweatshirt, it looks so soft ahhhhh.

YES EJ, WE'RE MOVING ON FROM NINI WOOHOOO

"watch your tone"

damn-

Ngl Ms Jenn would be a scary step-mother.

Right here we go, Gina and Ashlyn, take 2.

PLEASE NOW I SEE THE SIMILARITY BETWEEN EJ AND ASH-

It's a Caswell thing😌

That flashback scene was really good wow, I honestly thought we'd have to wait longer to see what the secret was but I guess not👀.

Gina handled that so well, she stated what she needed to say, acknowledged that he's with Nini, and got her closure. That's nothing for her to be embarrassed about.

I guess she thought she'd leave and not have to address it or see him again but either way, she did well and I'm proud of her.

Ricky. That's it. That's all I'm gonna say.

ANTOINE MY BELOVED. THANK YOU FOR ADDRESSING THE FACT THAT NO ONE EATS ALL THEIR FOOD IN SHOWS AND MOVIES-

That always confused me, you're paying to eat at a restaurant, at least eat it?????

Julia/Ashlyn's vocals>>>>>>>

Let's applaud Kaden for grabbing that guitar and doing what needed to be done.

And because we love him.

YES KOURT

Good on you for fully committing and owning your feelings, despite this "relationship" with Howie being extremely rushed and not making much sense considering what you've said for the entirety of season 1 and like 5 times in this episode alone about not needing a guy, but YES IM STILL HAPPY.

Although I'm not gonna lie, I half-expected Howie to say that he's gay at the end there-

Wow take notes Ricky. Your dad and teacher just sacrificed something important for them, to help you. Think you can try to do that for Nini, Gina or like, the entire theatre department?

THE ROSE SONG.

THE ROSE SONG.🌹

I can't be the only one that's pissed that Carlos is gonna post the video of this.

Like let North High think they got East High beat, then shock them on opening night with the song, this'll just cause them to try to come up with something to one up East High.

DAMNIT CARLOS.

[redlyncentral]

HSMTMTS s2b episode description breakdown, speculation and some of my own opinions:

there's so much to unpack with these new synopses, so this is my take!

in episode 8 we hear that the wildcats are benched from rehearsals from a week, a thing that probably happened due to their little trip to north high and that rivalry over a piece of clothing that was probably not even stolen by them (or it was and they just hid it too well), and we finally get to see a school activity outside of the drama club!

it's career week and it looks like we might finally focus on big red for a second since it's been a while since he got an individual story, and it's probably gonna be around how he doesn't want to work at the pizzeria his entire life. Howie finally makes a move with Kourtney which I can only assume will be asking her out on a date. makes sense since they met in episode 3 and redlyn only had five episodes to develop as well.

we're finally seeing one of the Caswell parents! the way they're described they seem to be pretty uninvolved in their kid's lives as EJ and Ashlyn are alone a lot, so it will be interesting to see that storyline, especially seeing ej being mentioned by name in a description for the first time in since episode four.

we're getting to see spring break in action and it seems like they're actually taking two-episode break from the drama club which is odd since we barely saw them rehearse anything at all. I will not be surprised if they won't win.

ricky's mom is coming back and I honestly don't know what to expect, I don't want that 'oh, you're my mom so I forgive you for everything with a minor apology' which is probably gonna happen, I wish Ricky will get his moment to go off on her and how she neglected him and left him alone with his dad and barely keeping touch.

in episode ten we finally have a mention of rehearsals, but of course, it falls flat. I don't mind focusing on the inner dynamics within the club but it feels like they didn't even rehearse cohesively for this musical... and it seems like in this ep we might get gina confessing her feelings to Ricky, a thing that will cause trouble with nini. their friendship was briefly explored and I honestly hope that this episode will bring them closer and actually make them friends.

seblos are having their first fight, and I hope that they'll get to actually resolve their issues instead of having Seb's fear of Carlos get the better of him, the poor boy doesn't even have the heart to tell him about the cashmere sweaters...

it seems like east high are still lost on how to make batb good which again gives me the impression that they are not winning this season. with only an episode left before opening night, I doubt that they'll be able to pull something incredible... but then again, it's Disney.

the unexpected facetime might be from gina who wanted to backtrack her confession, at least so I hope. gina deserves better.

finally, episode 11 is opening night. by having nini be the hype girl and her not being in costume when ash is going on stage as belle, I'm thinking that maybe the rose's role will get cut and she'll give up on the play. maybe her dream changes to being a theater teacher or a songwriter?

unexpected visitors might just be north high kids like lily and Antoine trying to intimidate the kids. EJ might have a decision about what to do after this school year and what will happen in seasons 3+4. I honestly doubt that anyone will leave, except for Olivia.

episode twelve, the last one, seems like an episode similar to episode 7 in season one, where the teens got to just enjoy opening night and having the adults together.

the party crasher might be jack since he's in one or two episodes and 'gina's truth' might be asking him out.

Nini's phone call is probably a way to have her written out of the show if she'll find a way out of her contract.

the lack of Antoine mentions makes me think that they were just teasing us about him actually coming between ashlyn and big red.

so in conclusion, s2b is going to be, in a word, dramatic.

[churchofrileytanev]

my nhl hot takes with analysis: the vancouver canucks


chris tanev - obviously my favourite (evidently), looks like flynn from tangled, owner of riley tanev so i have to love him, underrated defenseman, i am convinced he would die for you, seems like such a kind man, 10000/10


zack macewen - absolutely in love with his dog, very exciting to watch and a much needed grinder, nice hair and eyebrows, hope he is doing well


quinn hughes - looks like he’s dead inside, a literal child, should win the calder, probably hasn’t slept in eight weeks, seems like the odd sibling out, relatable icon


elias pettersson - swedish icon, owns a jetski, that golf video is poetic cinema, going to be a star, is probably an alien


tyler motte - he may be injured but my love for him is not, icon for mental health advocacy, seems like such a kind man, (maybe) reads


jacob markstrom - our VEZINA caliber goalie, probably very very genuine and fun to be around, we don’t deserve him


brock boeser - the flow, looks like a disney prince, has adorable dogs, his documentary made me cry, i would die for his dad, please stop injuring boeser 2020


antoine roussel - an asshole on the ice and maple syrup producer off of it, fun dad, we (the french canadian community) accept him


jay beagle - kind of a boomer because he had a flip phone till 2014 but seems like a genuine man


jt miller - jonathan tonathan, jimothy timothy, super scary looking but like wholesome redneck energy (?)


thatcher demko - philosophy course legend, likely shares all of the team brain cells with tanev, tik tok legend


adam gaudette - an absolute thot but we love that for him, head empty no thoughts, kinda legendary on twitter, cellys are top notch


troy stecher - wholesome mans with a dog i would die for, tony stretcher, pretty sure he collects paintings of his dog which is very relatable


bo horvat - probably goes to bed at 7 pm, going to be a great dad but needs to get gus on that training regime to win a dog race


tanner pearson - loves his wife and respects women, his son is adorable, pretty cool dude


micheal ferland - injured so you can’t be mad at him, hope he gets better


alex edler - resting bitch face but is probably hilarious, does anyone really know anything about him


tyler myers - an actual giraffe, named his dog harold which is pretty legendary, his contract however is sus


jake virtanen - is probably a nice dude but i get big yee yee vibes so i can’t support that, shotgun (beer) expert


jordie benn - dope beard, cool hats, cute dogs


louis domingue - i don’t know you sir, i’m sorry


oscar fantenberg - no real opinion lol


brandon sutter - a mario kart specialist but not much after that, pAtrICe BeRGerON


josh leivo - rip to his knee, hope it heals


tyler toffoli - we had him for like a week so i can’t form anything concrete, he seems super dope though


loui eriksson - empty net specialist and legendary for the pussy headband butttttttt it’s loui eriksson sooooo


in conclusion: i cherish all of these stupid hockey men

[westannatasharomanoff]

THG AU Chapter 27

Chapter 1        Chapter 2      Chapter 3     Chapter 4    Chapter 5    Chapter 6 Chapter 7   Chapter 8   Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11 Chapter 12  Chapter 13 Chapter 14  Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17  Chapter 18 Chapter 19   Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22  Chapter 23   Chapter 24  Chapter 25 Chapter 26

*Natasha Romanoff was in The Capitol for an interview. She was now three months pregnant and everyone was buzzing about the baby. This interview was to announce the winners of the baby naming competition. The only thing keeping Natasha from being furious about not getting to name her own child was the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D. was going to stick it to The Capitol.*

Ceaser: I think we all know what we’re here for. Natasha, if you would open the envelope.

Natasha: Okay, Ceaser. Here goes nothing.

Ceaser: Can we get a drumroll please? *drumroll* Thank you.

Natasha: The winning name for a baby girl is Victoria, and if it’s a boy, the winner is... Triffle. *her face falls*

* Meanwhile in District 12, everyone is watching the interview together at Natasha and Bruce’s.*

Pietro: Triffle? *bursts out laughing* 

Fury: That poor child.

Maria: That’s unfortunate. 

Bruce: Triffle?! They want us to name our child Triffle?! That’s not even a name! 

Wanda: Evidently, it is in The Capitol. 

Melina: That’s okay. Triffle is a bit... odd, but we would love him anyway. Besides, Victoria is a very nice name. 

Alexei: Our poor grandson is going to be teased so much. 

Fury: Have you met this child’s parents? He’ll be fine. 

Bruce: For everyone’s sake I hope we have a girl. 

*A week later, Natasha and Bruce went to their first S.H.I.E.L.D. meeting. It was held in a hovercraft above the wilds.*

Peggy: I know we haven’t met in a while, but I assure you S.H.I.E.L.D. is as active as ever. We have three new agents today, so please give a warm welcome to Maria Hill, Bruce Banner, and Natasha Romanoff.

Grant: Wait, didn’t she just get married? Why does she still have her same last name?

Natasha: The Capitol already knows me well, so changing my name didn’t make much sense. 

Peggy: Why don’t we all just introduce ourselves? I’ll start. My name is Peggy Carter and I live in District 4. 

Phil: I’m Phil Coulson, I live in District 9.

Melinda: Melinda May,  District 2.

Lincoln: Lincoln Campbell, District 5. I know, shocking. 

Lance: Lance Hunter, District 2.

Thor: You guys know me. You also know Steve! *Steve waves*

Daisy: Daisy Johnson, I’m from 3. 

Bruce: Yeah, I’ve met you. You’re the new girl from coding. 

Daisy: That’s me. 

Tripp:  Antoine Triplett, but you can call me Tripp. I also live in District 3.

Grant: Grant Ward, from District 2. 

Jemma: Jemma Simmons. I live in District 3, but I invent medical devices so I’m always in The Capitol. 

Bobbi: Bobbi Morse, I’m also from District 2. Imagine that. 

Lance: She’s my wife. 

Leo: Leo Fitz. I’m from District 3, but we’ve met. 

Bruce: Yes, yes we have. 

Mack: Alphonso Mackenzie, District 6. You can call me Mack.

Daniel: I’m Daniel Sousa. I live in District 10 and I think that’s everyone, right?

Gamora: You forgot us. 

Daniel: Right, our friends from The Capitol.

Gamora: I’m Gamora Zen-Titan, as you may remember.

Mantis: Mantis Brandt-Snow. I’m so happy to be here!

Nebula: Nebula Lupho-Titan. *pointing at Gamora* I’m her sister. 

Peter: Peter Quill-Snow. *pointing at Mantis* I’m her sister. 

*Everyone goes silent and gives Peter an odd look. A few people stifle laughter. A moment later, Peter realizes his mistake.*

Peter: Wait, no! She’s my- *sigh* never mind. 

Bruce: Wait. Snow, Titan, I know those names! You let the children of the president and his closest advisor join a society to take them down? 

Peter: Our father is Snow’s brother, actually. 

Gamora: Not to mention none of us want anything to do with the corrupt and unfair system that is our government! The things going on in Panem just aren’t right, and anyone could see that no matter who their “family” is! Panem needs to enter a new era, and soon. 

Bruce: Fair enough, carry on. 

Loki: I’m Loki Odinson and *pointing to Thor* I’ve never met that man in my life. 

Natasha: Oh, are you two siblings?

Loki: No. I’ve seriously never met him. It’s a total coincidence that we have the same last name.

Thor: It’s actually kind of freaky, especially considering we look very similar.

Loki: For the last time, we do not look alike! At all! 

Peggy: Can we get back to business? 

Thor: Right, sorry. 

Peggy: Anyway, we need to take a few more people before we’re ready to start the next phase of our plan. *to Bruce and Natasha* That’s where you come in. We need to recruit Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff, and Pietro Maximoff. Banner, you need to get Tony on board. Natasha, you will handle the Maximoffs. 

*Natasha and Bruce accepted their assignment and the rest of the meeting went pretty well. After the meeting, Bruce was snuck to District 3 so he could talk to Tony. He encased them in the secret bubble.*

Tony: Bruce? What are you doing here?

Bruce: I’ll tell you in a minute, but first I want to know how you’re holding up. Did they ever find Pepper?

Tony: *starting to cry* No. It’s been four months and we’ve found nothing. Well, nothing but this. *Tony pulls out a ring* They found her wedding ring in the ruins of her sister’s house. 

Bruce: *pulls Tony into a hug* I’m so sorry. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call. How’s Morgan?

Tony: She’s still my pride and joy. She misses her mommy, but she’s a wonderful daughter. Just turned three. I’m keeping this one close, I can’t lose her like I did Peter and Pepper. Speaking of children, congratulations. I heard about the baby. You’re not seriously going to name a boy Triffle, are you?

Bruce: We have no choice. Anyway, back to the reason I’m here. The government of Panem needs to be stopped. A secret organization called S.H.I.E.L.D. is working to overthrow Snow, and I’ve been sent to recruit you.

Tony: No. No way. I can’t join a revolution. 

Bruce: We need you! The Hunger Games, the bombings, the whippings, the avoxes and muttations, none of this is acceptable! We owe it to Peter and Pepper and Vision and Sammy and everyone else The Capitol saw as disposable. This isn’t right and it isn’t fair!

Tony: I know, but this sounds dangerous and my top priority will always be keeping my daughter safe. 

Bruce: What if your daughter could live in a world where she didn’t have to worry about the reaping every year? A world where she could see other districts. A world where the citizens aren’t oppressed. 

Tony: That sounds amazing, but I can’t. What if they find out and kill Morgan?

Bruce: We won’t let that happen. Just please consider it. These people really want to make a change, and I want to be a part of it. But none of this is possible without you.

Tony: And you’re sure these people can be trusted?

Bruce: Yes. 

Tony: Then count me in. For Pepper. And Peter. And for Morgan. Most importantly, for the future of Panem. I’m joining your revolution. 

*Meanwhile back in 12*

Natasha: You may be wondering why I shut you both in a soundproof invisibility bubble with me. There is a secret organization called S.H.I.E.L.D. that has been created to overthrow Snow and I was sent to recruit you because-

Both twins at once: We’re in. 

*About two months later, everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. was preparing to deliver the first blow. *

Peggy: Okay, we want to start small with something barely noticeable. In order to do that, we need someone to sneak in and grab a secret file. With that gone, The Capitol will no longer have arena ideas for the next few years.The 91st Hunger Games is probably already all planned, given it’s in a month, but this will be a major setback and a distraction for some of the most prominent figures in The Capitol.

Natasha: If we’re doing something against the games, I want to be involved.

Peggy: Absolutely not. You are in no condition to sneak into that building. 

Natasha: What’s that supposed to mean?!

Peggy: Ordinarily, I’d send you in in a heartbeat, but...

Natasha: What? Am I not good enough? Did you see me in the games? I’m not proud of it, but I’m told I was impressive!

Bruce: Nat, you’re five months pregnant. 

Natasha: Oh, right. 

Peggy: Anyway, we’re sending in Wanda, Daisy, and Gamora. Tony Stark has made rigs for Daisy and Wanda similar to what Peter Parker made in the games. Wanda, yours will allow you to move objects with your mind.

Tony: These ones are a lot stronger than what you had in the arena. You’ll be able to move bigger objects and even people. They also work long distance. 

Peggy: Daisy, yours will allow you to pulse vibrations through the floor, creating miniature earthquakes.

Tony: You can direct them towards specific people and everything. 

Peter: What about Gamora? Are you just going to send her in with nothing?

Gamora: Don’t be ridiculous. *pulling out ID badge* I have my dad’s ID badge. It’ll give us access to everything. Also, I have a retractable sword. 

Peter: Oh, okay. 

Daniel: So you’ll be safe then? Because you have the ID badge?

Daisy: We’ll be fine, I promise. *kisses his cheek* Besides, it’s a really fast, in and out, kind of mission. We’ll be back before you know I’m gone. 

Daniel: I miss you already. Be safe.

Daisy: Don’t worry, we will. 

*After they leave*

Tony: So, you and Daisy, huh? How’d you two meet?

Daniel: We’re both involved with S.H.I.E.L.D. She and I met through this. 

Tony: Meeting through work, nice. That’s how I met my wife. *sniff* Well, I guess now she’s my ex wife. *begins sobbing* 

Bruce: *puts hand on Tony’s shoulder* You’ll be okay. here. *hugs Tony*

Daniel: Messy divorce?

Bruce: She was killed in an attack by The Capitol. 

*An hour later, Daisy, Gamora, and Wanda return. S.H.I.E.L.D. is officially up and running, and they aren’t going to back down.*

[thankskenpenders]

So there’s this little cartoon you may have heard of...

As I’ve said on this blog before, I’d never watched all of SatAM. This might be shocking to hear from someone who runs a blog dedicated to Archie Sonic and one of the top twenty Bunnie Rabbot fangirls in the world. But it’s true.

SatAM was very difficult to track down compared to other Sonic cartoons when I was a kid, and I just never got around to watching it as an adult. So for the longest time, I had only ever seen the first episode, which I found uploaded in parts on YouTube in 2007. As the one cartoon featuring the characters I liked from the comics, it became sort of this holy grail of Sonic media for me as a kid, especially with people online always talking it up as the best thing ever and petitioning for a revival. Hell, to this day, a lot of people hold it up as this masterpiece and act like the Archie comics were a complete mockery of it

Anyway so I finally got around to watching the whole series with my boyfriend these past couple weeks, and it was pretty good. So instead of covering a comic today, here are some thoughts on the cartoon that started it all

General Thoughts

SatAM is a pretty good show. It isn’t the greatest piece of Sonic media ever, unlike what some older fans will tell you. It might not even be the best Sonic cartoon (you could easily make a case for the Japanese version of Sonic X, or Sonic Boom if you’re looking for something more comedic). It hasn’t aged the most gracefully, in some ways. The animation’s cheap, the stories sometimes bland. But for a DiC-produced video game cartoon from the early ‘90s, it’s really solid

I think that in many ways, SatAM is carried by the strength of its ideas over its actual execution. The darker, more serious tone is a really cool idea, even if at times it can get a little dull, and even if the show actually gets silly as hell pretty often. (This is a show where Snively literally tortures a captive Antoine by preparing French cuisine improperly.) That opening scene of Robotropolis in the first episode actually sets the mood really well and feels like it came straight out of some cyberpunk anime from the ‘80s or ‘90s. The concept of Robotnik turning people into robot slaves is really cool, even if surprisingly little was done with this aside from Uncle Chuck’s storyline. And I think the Freedom Fighters make a great supporting cast for Sonic, even if the writers didn’t use them to their full potential

Interestingly, I’d often heard from fans that season one was the stronger of the two, when I’d say that the opposite is true. Season one episodes were pretty samey, usually involving low stakes missions to Robotropolis with no real continuity, and Sally ended up being a damsel in distress more than I’d like--hell, so did Bunnie in a few episodes. It wasn’t bad, but it was highly repetitive, and I got a little bored at times. Season two had a few real stinkers (the Antoine episodes) and Dulcy was an unwelcome addition, but I thought the heavier focus on continuity gave the season some real momentum and more emotional weight, which made it way more enjoyable overall

Things I Liked

Sonic. I quite liked this version of Sonic, actually! Jaleel White is a great Sonic, and he was written pretty well. At times the extremely tubular ‘90s lingo was grating (I never wanna hear “Gotta juice!” again), but I was surprised to see that this version of Sonic had a lot of heart. He really cared about the well-being of his friends and Uncle Chuck, and they even let him cry a couple times. I thought they struck a good balance between snark and sincerity with him

Sally. I don’t think SatAM Sally was perfect, but I liked her. I’m still of the opinion that she should have been given more ways to defend herself physically (maybe some kind of power of her own) so that Sonic didn’t have to save her as much, but I liked the banter she and Sonic had. Unlike the early Archie comics, Sally doesn’t come off as the bossy girlfriend who ruins Sonic’s fun. Maybe it’s Jaleel White and Kath Soucie’s performances doing most of the work, but they had a fun back and forth dynamic, with Sally’s sarcasm keeping Sonic’s ego in check, but there still being clear chemistry between the two of them

I also liked the greatly reduced emphasis on her being a princess compared to much of Archie’s material. Like yeah, it’s there. Her dad’s the king, and left her some classified info via Nicole. But her status doesn’t really affect things much. They don’t talk about her having this grand destiny and being the next in line to rule. It’s clear that she’s in charge of the Freedom Fighters not because of her status, but because she’s smart, brave, and gets shit done. That’s the Sally I like.

Plus! In the finale, Sally insisted upon going with Sonic for the final confrontation, and was a crucial part of the climax. Her powering up with Sonic and matching his speed and strength ruled. Compare that to the climactic defeat of Robotnik in Archie, where she was fucking dead

Robotnik. I don’t think much needs to be said here. Jim Cummings rules as Robotnik, like everyone has always said. He’s just so evil and so much fun to watch

Snively??? I’ve never cared for Snively as a character, but Charlie Adler rules and his over-the-top performance made the character way funnier than he should’ve been. Just something about all the little noises he makes, and the way he almost shifts into the Red Guy voice at times

Nicole. It was fun to see Nicole start to get more of a personality in season two, having some banter with Sonic and also picking up some slang from him. It makes the later decision to turn Sally’s computer into a full character (which would have happened in season three, and obviously eventually became a big subplot in the comics) make a lot of sense

King Acorn. While he was only around briefly, I liked that he wasn’t a huge dick, unlike Archie’s King Max

Things I Didn’t Like

The misuse of the other Freedom Fighters. This is, by far, the show’s greatest crime.

I already write approximately 100k words a week on this blog about how I think Bunnie Rabbot is amazing and criminally underused, so I’ll keep this brief, but I was shocked to see how little she was used in this show. People tend to say Dulcy stole her screentime in season two, but she didn’t have much to do in the first season either! We somehow never got a single episode focusing on her. The one where she got temporarily deroboticized focused much more on Uncle Chuck. We never got to learn the story behind her roboticization, or delved into her feelings on the matter much. She mostly just served as a positive, lighthearted supporting member of the team who acts cute and gets some funny lines, but usually stays home

Antoine might have been even worse, honestly. Like, they used him so much! They had multiple episodes focusing entirely on him! And yet I’m not sure he ever really helped. Sonic and Sally kept taking him along, but every single time it felt like it would’ve been a wiser decision to bring Bunnie instead. The jokes about his broken English were just dumb, and god, the way he constantly hits on Sally and starts kissing her hand at the most inappropriate times is just SO fucking creepy. SatAM Antoine is just a horrible, one-dimensional stereotype. There’s a reason why readers of the Archie comics wanted him out of the series until later writers majorly rehabilitated him

Rotor also didn’t get much use, which was a shame, but it at least felt like he was used efficiently. I got the vibe that Rotor was much more bitter about the war with Robotnik than his friends, and it would’ve been interesting to see this explored more. At least we got that one fun episode where he went to space with Sonic

Dulcy. Oh my fucking god. I wanted to like Dulcy! I really did! But most of the time she was just a clutz used for comic relief, and they kept reusing the same joke where she crashed, bumped her head, got dizzy, and thought she was talking to her mom. This happened in almost every episode she was in.

The other miscellaneous Freedom Fighters. Like in the early Archie comics, none of the other miscellaneous Mobians they meet were as interesting as the core cast. They just always felt very bland and I was never as invested in them as the writers wanted me to be. Ari was boring, and that episode where they found the underground city and this other dude started hitting on Sally was a drag. Lupe’s cute though

Rings. This is a common problem in Sonic adaptations, but the fact that rings always serve as Sonic’s instant win button kind of sucks. Basically any time Sonic’s in a pinch, he pulls a ring out of his backpack, powers up, and wins. Not exactly a recipe for suspenseful action

Oh, also, I did kinda find it weird how much Sonic and Sally kissed? Like, all the time? Often while their friends just stand there and stare at them? Not something I’d expect from a Sonic cartoon

Things Archie Did Better

I’ll limit this to the first 50 issues or so, since I don’t think it would be fair to compare two short seasons of SatAM to the highlights of nearly 500 issues of comics

Tails. Tails is okay in SatAM, Archie just used him as Sonic’s sidekick way more. He was barely even in the show. Poor little guy only gets to play dirt hockey all day

Bunnie. Again, Bunnie was underutilized in both series, but the Archie comics did her better. They actually showed the story of how she got roboticized (even if it was a silly story), and they got to flesh her out a bit more. Gallagher showing that she was a carrot farmer before her roboticization and saying she wanted to be a hairdresser was at least something. And as I keep harping on, Rich Koslowski’s backup story in #37 where we find out Bunnie has recurring nightmares about her robot parts taking over and making her a threat to her friends? This single backup story did more to flesh her out than all 26 episodes of SatAM combined

Antoine. Not hard to do better than SatAM here, really. He was really bad early on, serving as little more than Sonic’s punching bag, but eventually they started to set up a romance between him and Bunnie and explored his past a bit, saying that Antoine’s father (his personal role model) was a member of the royal guard who was roboticized in the war. While he still had a long way to go, these were important first steps towards him being a decent character. Hell, these days, being Bunnie’s love interest is one of Antoine’s defining characteristics! And it doesn’t come from the cartoon at all

Roboticization in general. I was surprised how little this came up in the cartoon! In the comics, it’s such a central element. We see more of the heroes’ loved ones turned into robots, and we even got some fun stories where characters like Sonic and Sally were roboticized temporarily. The Freedom Fighters’ efforts to reverse the process was a major part of the plot for quite a while. Bunnie’s fear of losing control is a pretty important part of her character (even if it was only touched on briefly), and after they’re rescued, the rest of the Mobians fear that the “Robians” (including Sonic’s entire family) will turn evil again. It comes up a lot! There are interesting things to discuss here! But SatAM only really talks about Uncle Chuck. We never even see what happened to everyone else

Closing Thoughts

SatAM is not the best show in the world, but it is a solid and enjoyable one. It’s easy to see why people who grew up with it are fond of it, even if I think that it’s long past time certain fans quit acting like it’s the only valid take on the Sonic source material and petitioning for a third season. At the very least, the concepts and characters introduced here are strong ones, and it’s easy to see how they spawned over 20 years of comics exploring said ideas in greater detail. While I’m not sure I could recommend it to non-fans, I think it’s definitely worth checking out for Sonic fans who missed out on it (especially fans of the Archie comics)

Anyway I got to see Bunnie dropkick some Swatbots twice her height so I had fun

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. At the courthouse. Bell and Adam are in “discussion” in Hartcourt’s office)

Belle: YOU BASTARD!!!!

Adam: what. What now.

Belle: you cannot take the school. I have been more then generous

Adam: I helped create it!

Belle: IT IS SIGNED IN MY NAME. And. Need I remind you. I had to twist your arm to make it coed and allow non royalty and non humans to be enrolled

Adam: schools are meant for

Belle: everyone! Boy, girls, humans, fairies, dwarves, royal, nob royalty, magic users and mortals alike.

Adam: you said for better or worse

Belle: worse meant if you gambled away our money. Not sinking back into old habits and creating a generational internment camp and becoming little more then the beast you once were

(Adam flips the coffee table in a rage and sends it hurtling into the opposite wall)

Adam: I AM NOT THE BEAST!!!! NOT ANYMORE!!!!

Belle (more calm then she should be): then why did you just throw a table across the room? Mr Hartcourt. I believe we are ready to sign the papers now

Jaques: yes yes. You know where I assume.

Adam: wait

Belle: oh what now!

(This is when “who knew” happens. After the song)

Belle: yeah. Who knew. Who knew you’d devolve into who you were when we met

Adam: you fell in love with that man

Belle: I fell in love with the man who saved me from wolves. Not the creature who threatened to starve me because I refused to dine with him. And certainly not the man who imprisoned innocent children on an island hellscape for two decades. But to you it’s all the same thing isn’t it?

(Adam doesn’t respond)

Belle: See. No answer. Let’s get these papers signed

(On the island)

Mal (on the tv): IM ENGAGED!!!! HAHAHAHA

(On a BarcaLounger a woman with electric blue hair and punk clothes wakes up. And tips over backwards)

Hades: JESUS FUCK! (She snorts and tips the right way up again). Tv rewind! Heh heh. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

(From somewhere in the abode)

Hadie (dressed in smudged eyeliner, silk robe, and hair a mess): I just got in ten minutes ago and you’re yelling oh shit. She did it

Hades: my girl did it.

Hadie: Iris is with the dwarf right?

Hades: that’s Hestia my boy

Hadie: and Icarus?

(Hades doesn’t answer)

Hadie: Oh. Well he lived a good life

Hades: your brother was 18 when he sank beneath

Hadie: I said good not long

Hades: ah yeah right. OOH! Iris needs an engagement present from dear old dad

(Her form melts from Eva Green to Jesse L Martin and starts rummaging through the mountains of detritus in the lair)

Hades: ok now where was it

Hadie: no.

Hades: no what?

Hadie: no you can’t. It could kill her. Iris could very well be the uniting force between Auradon and this trash hole. And doing anything to harm that would be stupid shortsighted and just plain fucking annoying.

Hades: how can you say all that with a hangover.

Hadie: reed root.

Hades: ohhhh. Byeeeeee

(He’s engulfed by electric blue flame)

Hadie: no. NononononoGARGH!!!! Fucking deity

(Back in Auradon. The celebration is in full swing. Doug and Evie have commandeered the dance floor. Carlos is being traumatised by Ben’s dad dancing. Jay’s trying to make “dancing in the moonlight” even louder then it currently is. Everyone’s having fun but dizzy who’s desperately trying to get to Mal, who’s giving Jane a little taster of her lady marmalade performance)

Dizzy: aunt Mal! What are you doing

Mal (abruptly standing up): nothing your mother needs to know about. Especially when your present. Jane dear drink your water

(Jane, eyes as wide as dinner plates, takes a sip of water)

Mal: now. What is it you wanted me for kid?

Dizzy: it’s Celia

Mal (the smile melts from her face): what? What’s wrong?

Dizzy: just. Just come on and help me. Please aunt Mal. Please?

Mal: of course. Yes. I will. Where is she?

Dizzy: our room. She’s in a bad way and

(Mal teleports them to Dizzy’s room then has to duck as a draw comes flying at her. Celia’s tearing the room apart growing more and more frantic with each passing second)

Celia: where is it where is it. I can’t have lost it. Please be here. Please be here. Please

Mal (tentatively): Celia? Are you ok?

Celia (thickly): go away. I don’t want you here. Go away.

Dizzy: Mal has the sceptre. She could use it to help

Celia (feeling betrayed): you brought her here. Why?

Mal (taking the heat for Dizzy): because. I have a little experience with losing things. Things that shouldn’t be lost. Magic. Books. Temper. I could help you. Only if you want to though

Celia (face crumpling): I lost it

Mal: lost what honey?

Celia: my cane. I thought I packed it. My dad made it for me. It’s like it’s like

Mal: a security blanket? Helps you sleep? Calms you down when you’re stressed?

(Celia nods tearfully)

Mal: well alright then. Dizzy could you go to the mini fridge? There should be some soda there

Dizzy: sure

Mal: now. You drink this. And take a nap. I’ll be right here with you. And then when you’re feeling better we can make a plan. Sound good?

Celia (feeling a little better): yeah

(Later. Ben poofs in looking for Mal)

Mal: what in gods name are you wearing and can you wear it more often?

Ben: jay stole my clothes and the twins think my crown has chocolate in it

Mal: why did jay steal your clothes.

Ben: bachelor party

Mal: ohhhh right. Where’s he gonna take you? A frat house manned by Homer Simpson?

Ben: I think ro Rome was mentioned.

Mal: you think it was mentioned?

Ben: double clothes change

Mal: hope you had water on hand. (Looks at his hat). Or beer.

(Ben smiles at her sheepishly. She chuckles)

Celia: what in the name of the Other Side are you wearing

Ben (barely able to stop himself from laughing): important king clothes?

Celia: looks like a burial shroud

(Bal collapse into laughter, Celia joins in right after. Jay poofs in wearing the same thing as Ben)

Mal (still laughing): now this. This works on jay.

Ben (choking on laughter): built like a Greek god

Celia: are they always like this?

Jay: sometime. Never on Saturdays though.

Celia: ah.

(Mal eventually calms down, Ben is still laughing)

Mal: what can we do you for?

Jay: well you disappeared. Then Ben disapperead. You guys are engaged. It’s a party. Have fun. Come on back down to the entrance yard. Everyone’s waiting for you.

Mal: well. Everyone should be in one place so I can tell them

Jay: tell them what?

(Two minutes, a teleportation and an announcement later)

Evie: you’re going WHERE?

Mal: the island. Celia forgot something and she needs it. So I’m going to go with her to get it

Carlos: are you absolutely sure?

Mal (cupping his face in her hands): it’s sweet that you care. But I’m sure. If it doesn’t work you (pointedly to Evie) and only you have my express permission to say “I told you so”

Carlos: I’d like that. I’d really like that

Jay: we’re coming too

Ben: seconded

Devie and Carlos: thirded

Mal: I couldn’t ask you to do that.

Evie: oh M. You’re not asking. We’re telling. Because last time you fucked off ben almost teared the steering wheel off in the limo. The he yelled at me

Dizzy: you were kind of to blame mom

Mal: hey Celia. On the way there. I’m sure Ben and Doug would love to see the cards

Celia (feeling much better now): if they’re prepared to pay up

Dizzy: you can take it out of my allowance

Doug: your allowance is half of my allowance

Dizzy: right.

Ben: I’ll pay for both of us

Celia: anyway is ok with me

Mal: lets go then

Gil: uhhhh. Can I stay here. I don’t wanna leave my boys again

Ben: sure bud

Dizzy: I’m coming with you guys

Devie: no.

Dizzy: why the hell not

Doug: because we won’t be there long

Gil: ah don’t worry Dizz. You can stay with us. Lonnie and I’ll be fencing.

Dizzy: I guess staying here won’t be so bad

Doug (sardonically): of course

Celia: I think she should come with us. She’s my best friend.

(Mal and Evie look at each other trying not to laugh)

Mal: the choice is up to Dizzy

Dizzy: I stay here

Evie: alright then. Let’s go

(Once on the island

Celia: well I just made forty bucks so I’m feeling much better

Ben: there’s plenty more where that came from

Facillier: you do know that she’ll hold you to that

Celia: DAD!

(She runs up to her dad who picks her up)

Facillier: I do hope she hadn’t caused you any trouble

Mal: no. Don’t worry. We’re just back so Celia can grab something she forgot

Celia: my cane

(The other four vks faces pale)

Carlos (venom in his voice): what

Celia: my cane. I can’t sleep without it

Mal: ok. We’re leaving. And your lucky I don’t burn this place to the ground. And you along with it. “Shadow man”

Facillier (perplexed): wait what? What are you talking about

Doug: uh doctor facillier. I um. I think my family may have got their wires crossed. Evie. Honey. Walking stick.

Evie: what. (She follows Doug’s line of sight) ohhhh. Urgh. Our bad

Celia: dad made it for me. I can’t sleep without it

Mal: right. Um. You go get it. We’ll wait right here

(Celia runs off. Leaving the others standing around awkwardly)

Ben: Doctor Facillier. I am so sorry that we thought

Facillier: please your majesty. Call me Antoine. And don’t be sorry. It’s nice to see that Auradon has done something good for the isle children. You’ll be back next Saturday I assume

Ben: of course. And you can call me Ben if you like

Facillier (dryly): ah ha. I’d rather not

Ben (seeing he’s outstayed his welcome): oookay

Carlos: hey dad. Wanna see me neat Doug at the games?

Doug: nice try C. But I’m a professional dancer

Carlos: so am I.

Ben: that means you’re evenly matched. Should be interesting. C’mon. K OK yes see who wins. Malta holidays the reward

(Elsewhere. A short-ish brunette pirate is bumbling her way to Mal jay and Evie)

Harriet (her soft voice at odds with her harsh tone): well we’ll well. Lookee what we got ‘ere. The grand high bitch as dinged to grade us with her present

Mal: oh jeez. Hello Harriet.

Harriet (belching): lizard

Mal: ew. How drunk are you woman

Harriet: ......quite

Evie: oh don’t worry. Soon all that (she gestures to the pirates face) will be covered by a death mask

Harriet: you gonna do me in like you did my bruvver?

Jay: oh dear hookette. He deserved what happened to him

Harriet: HE CANT FUCKING SWIM. HE DROWNED. HES DEAD. YOU LOT KILLED HIM. YOU KILLED EM BOTH

Mal: they tried to kill my friends and family. They tried to capsize and drown the entire student body

Harriet: who gives a fuck about them. They never cared about us. Oh but of course. Uma was right. Uma’s always right

Facillier (intervening before the situation escalates): go home Miss Hook. You’re drunk

Harriet: I’ve been drunk for a year Ant

Facillier: that is Doctor Facillier to you. Now get out. Before I throw you out.

Harriet: make me honey

Facillier: I am older than your father

Harriet: hasn’t stopped me befAAAAAAAAAAAAH

(She’s encased in shade and dragged through the floor)

Celia (eyes glowing fuchsia): you guys aren’t the only ones with magic

Evie (squeaking): EEEEEEEEEEE! What was that

Celia: that means he likes you

Mal: who?

Celia: my pet shadow. Skygge. I can keep him right?

Ben: sure

Celia: yes! Bye daddy

Facillier: bye my girl. And remember. Make sure you get your cut

Celia: already got forty bucks.

Facillier: very good girl. Make sure to write

Celia: of course

(As they’re leaving)

Facillier: lady Mal. Can we talk

Mal: sure...?

Facillier: you are in possession of very precious cargo.

Mal: we know.

Facillier: I know the king. And your sister. The genie. Your son. And Doug all know. But I want to make sure that you know. My daughter is very important to me. If anything should happen to her

Mal: it won’t

Facillier (eyes glowing fuchsia): if it should. I shall hold you personally responsible

Mal (eyes glowing emerald green): I understand your concern. And I assure you. It won’t.

Facillier: the first sign of danger you get her out. She will want to fight but you put your foot down. Do you understand Mal?

Mal: yes. I thoroughly understand. Antoine

Facillier (cracking a very wide smile): well then. Congratulations on the engagement. I’m sure you’ll make a great queen.

Mal: thank you

(At the limo)

Evie: god I love...haaaaaa-hooooow you stopped us causing a scene. I really appreciate it.

Doug (knowing what she was going to say): you’re welcome

(He gets in. Mal poofs in and throws her arm around Evie’s shoulder)

Mal: gotta tell eventually kid

Evie: when we’re ready. Old lady

Mal (smirking and secretly proud of her sister): touché

(They both get in the limo and Carlos starts driving away from the isle)