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squishmallow36 · 1 year

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It's all I wish to hear tonight, and you're all I wish to be, and this is how we all fall - Chapter one

Summary: It's the Garvar fic! Wdym you want a summary? It's a retelling of the first chapter of kotlc from Garwin's pov. That's--that's pretty much it. We do have them interact which is pretty nice. There will be more loosely connected chapters to come but I don't know how many or how they'll turn out. Word count: 2730

TW: swearing, drug mention, mentions of kidnappings and murder in relation to the Sophie/Fitz interaction

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @remember-me-in-another-time @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death. Also @frogs-and-flowers-and-faeries @camelspit you two seemed interested

On AO3 (only to registered users because y'know, AI) or below the cut

If there’s one thing universally agreed upon by high schoolers, it’s this: field trips are fun. Or at least they should be, in theory.

Instead of being locked in a classroom for eight hours a day, you get to go outside, cause some havoc, you know, the usual.

Your other teachers end up being nice because you cried to them that between all your classes and this field trip, you need an extra week on that paper that you’ve had assigned for three months and you haven’t started and is due tomorrow for a reason.

And, most of the time, as an extra bonus, you learn absolute jack shit.

The only problem arises when the teacher that is taking you on the trip seems to forget that part and forces you to actually pay attention with the threat of a quiz, and knowing him, he’s going to make it absolutely horrendous.

Yes, dinosaurs are badass but having to listen to your teacher read the plaques out loud makes gouging your eyes out seem like a good course of action.

Are we completely sure the teachers here have a 100 percent literacy rate? Garwin wonders, rolling his eyes as Sweeney struggles through another scientific name. I mean, knowing this school system, it would not surprise me.

There’s a couple of nerds taking notes but honestly there’s no chance. If there is a quiz, it’ll be the type of thing that’s “What year, exactly, did the cretaceous era end?” And the multiple choice options will all be around that 66 million years ago mark ingrained in everyone’s soul but you have to remember that science was able to determine the meteor fell on a Thursday and from that you have to extrapolate what the date would have been.

Can a meteor fall on us this today Thursday? That’d be great. No more AP exams.

And yeah, AP classes are supposed to have a curve, but with that little photographic memory of Dophie’s only half paying attention and half listening to MCR so loud it can be heard from three miles away, she’s gonna get a perfect score.

Case in point: Sweeney finally hears Gerard screaming and catches onto the fact that Sophie is completely ignoring his existence, per usual.

“Miss Foster!” He yanks her earbuds out by the cords. “Have you decided that you’re too smart to pay attention to this information?”

Well, she can probably legit get a zero on the final and still carry a 93 in the class. So I’d probably say the answer is yes. I think we all know that little smartass corrects Sweeney on a daily basis.

Between the typos and the shit he gets plain wrong, it was entertaining to see him flounder at the beginning of the year, but at this point she doesn’t seem to grasp the idea that everyone’s given up on the lost cause of a man.

This entire class has all had to suffer through more school than she’s been alive. Other than the dumbass sophomores in the class. But it wouldn’t be surprising to find out they were smoking weed in the back of class for a “science experiment.”

Ah, the things you can get away with in AP Enviro Science and a teacher that doesn’t care. Except about the toddler in his class who listens to music but hey. Maybe he’s insecure because he’s stupid and he has to maintain control over some aspect of his life.

Sophie mumbles something, denying it as she attempts to retract into her shell like a turtle. Unfortunately, humans don’t usually come with a shell, so she isn’t very successful.

“Then perhaps you can explain why you were listening to your iPod instead of following along?” Sweeney dangles the headphones in front of her as she rips out an eyelash.

Now, Garwin may have only gotten a 2 on the AP Psych exam last year because he only paid attention half the time because those daily quizzes were ass, but that doesn’t seem like the healthiest of coping mechanisms.

Sophie simply stares at the ground to pretend like Sweeney isn’t harassing her.

“Since you’ve decided you’re above this lecture, why don’t you give it?” Sweeney asks, gesturing to the definitely-accurate reconstruction of an orange hadrosaur. “Explain to the class how the Lambeosaurus differs from the other dinosaurs we’ve studied.”

You see, one of these was the Pteranodon family’s neighbor on Dinosaur Train. Larry Lambeosaurus was an endless pit that never seemed to fill with food, much like the average teenager. Unlike the average teenager, however, this may have something to do with his diet of tree and its caloric density, or lack thereof.

Instead of listening to Sophie rattle off dinosaur facts learned from a lifetime of being a fucking nerd, Garwin chooses to look at literally anything else for some scrap of entertainment.

Like, for example, the Albertosaurus. And imagining it coming to life and eating everybody à la Jurassic Park. That would be fun.

Sweeney gets increasingly pissed off as she keeps going. He really should’ve learned long ago to not challenge her ‘cause it ain’t gonna go well for him. He mutters something under his breath, and turns to go to the next increasingly stupid dinosaur.

Actually, Garwin takes that back. The dinosaurs themselves aren’t stupid. It’s the whole idea of having to get dragged to a place to forcefully learn about them instead of actually studying for the AP exam in less than two weeks. Not that he actually cares about that though.

“Nice job, superfreak,” he says to Sophie as she stands helplessly in the middle of the walkway. He pushes past her in an effort to appear engaged enough to not get another detention. “Maybe they'll write another article about you. 'Child Prodigy Teaches Class About the Lame-o-saurus.’”

Garwin’s gaze lands on someone reading the newspaper with Sophie’s face plastered across it. Yeah, the guy’s kinda cute with dark hair and teal eyes flicking up at Sophie ever so often…but, like, he’s probably freshman-ish years old and that’s kinda weird in the middle of the school day, not gonna lie.

And he isn’t in this class, that’s for sure. So he’s probably ditching. Kind of a dumb move to ditch and then go to a museum but hey. That’s his life choice and it’s not Garwin’s fault it’s stupid.

Garwin rolls his eyes as he moves into the next room. The desire to cause large amounts of property damage by climbing up the statues is immense, but, alas, one cannot succumb to temptation.

Their resident curvebuster doesn’t follow, and, honestly, that is a choice. Maybe if she gets eaten by a dinosaur or kidnapped with the guy pulling a Ferris Bueller, this class might know peace once again.

A not-small part of him could not give less of a shit if she disappears suddenly, and another not-small part of him can’t help but see the advantages. Maybe then we won’t all fail the class. It’s not like San Diego City College is going to miss her. Chances are, she’ll be the same to her unfortunate classmates there.

As the group shuffles around a reconstruction of a Triceratops, Sweeney begins droning on and on and on and on about the different types of ceratopsians, and it’s a damn fucking shame the one with three horns became famous instead of, like, the Kosmoceratops.

That fucker’s got fifteen horns and it’s common knowledge that an animal’s coolness is exponentially correlated with number of things that it has that can kill you.

In order to quell the rising tide of complete and total apathy, Garwin once again begins the search for something--anything--interesting to occupy his time.

And don’t you know it? There’s a hot guy hiding in a corner trying desperately not to be seen.

Between him and the kid reading the newspaper in the other room, something weird is definitely going down. So the obvious course of action is to walk up to the guy and see what’s up. Maybe even flirt a little. As soon as he can escape from Sweeney’s torture chamber, that is.

In the meantime, Garwin can still stare at him. He has dark hair gelled to perfection and light blue eyes. His eyelashes are visible from this massive distance away, so they must be super long and therefore super hot. Garwin’s fingers ache to trace his sharp square jaw and his skin is a light tan with a dusting of freckles for good measure.

In short, he’s absolutely fucking gorgeous.

He’s way too far to be certain, but he kind of does look like newspaper boy…for reasons that are as of right now indescribable other than sheer vibes.

And he’s wearing a black batman sweatshirt--a foolish decision on a partially sunny day such as today--that hangs in such a way to suggest he’s got some muscles hiding beneath it.

The world would be improved in many ways if that sweatshirt was a little less on.

Then, suddenly, by some miracle, some grace of god, Sweeney lets them explore for themselves. An argument could be made that he realized that no one was paying attention, but the more likely case is that he got tired of teaching and is now allowing them the slightest sliver of freedom to maximize his own laziness.

Garwin floats over to the guy in the corner as nonchalantly as possible as his traitorous heart is doing backflips in his chest. He was tall from a distance, but he’s even taller up close.

“Hey,” he says. Hey? Hey? That’s the most creative thing you could come up with? A cheesy pickup line would be better at this point.

“Hey yourself.” Guy-in-the-corner says with the slightest hint of a smirk. “I’m Alvar, what’s your name?”

Garwin is almost too distracted by Alvar’s thick accent--almost British, but somehow crisper--to remember his own name. “I’m Garwin. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Do you really think they looked like that?” Alvar asks. “The dinosaurs, I mean. It’s a little absurd, isn’t it?”

“Would you rather have the nerd answer or do you want the smartass answer?” Garwin replies.

“Who says I don’t want both?”

“Ah. Well then. The nerd answer is that at least some of them should have feathers. They are the ancestors to birds, after all. The fact that none of them do is a little yikes. And as for my other answer, I’m not a paleontologist, but,” Garwin points to a fossilized sauropod…or at least a skeleton of one that may or may not be real, “that one might be a tad bit skinny.”

Alvar laughs, a glorious sound. His eyes wander away from studying Garwin, focusing out of the room, landing on Sophie fucking Foster.

Ah, yes. First she gets into Yale without even trying and now she’s gained the attention of multiple people which depending on the intentions could be really fucking creepy. She’s literally twelve. This is complete and utter bullshit.

“Is that the kid on the front of the newspaper today?”

“Yeah,” Garwin replies bitterly.

Alvar makes a thoughtful sound and looks back at Garwin, who has begun leaning against the wall. Yes, there’s a plastic fern between them but you do what you can.

“Come on, Fitz. Don’t be a total dumbass,” Alvar whispers as newspaper boy--Fitz--begins to step away from Sophie.

A swarm of kindergarteners barreled into the exhibit, nearly knocking both Sophie and Fitz off their feet. They hold their heads in their hands like their brains are physically getting stabbed and when they make eye contact again, Sophie watches Fitz in fear.

Why that is, Garwin can’t tell, but there’s something in Alvar’s expression that seems like he suspects something, and Garwin would give anything--except a full ride scholarship to Yale--to know what he does.

In the time Garwin spends studying Alvar’s features for clues and getting lost in his eyes, Sophie has magically disappeared. Fitz swears, probably loud enough to be heard all the way at the zoo across the street, as he runs after her.

Alvar rolls his eyes. “Life choices. Do I run after my dumbass of a brother or do I leave him be? Decisions, decisions,” he asks himself.

What the fuck?

Garwin looks back at Alvar to find him already watching him. “Would you like me to go tell Sweeney or just…let her skip class?” And probably get murdered just a little bit.

It takes a good few seconds for him to process this request. “Eh, I’m sure he’ll notice sooner or later.”

Oh my fucking god this guy is fucked up. I don’t like Sophie, but I’d rather she not get kidnapped.

…Is it bad that he's still hot?

“Why the fuck are you two harassing Sophie?” The question comes out more forcefully than Garwin intends, but not enough to walk it back.

“That is one very long story and I don’t think you’d believe half of it. But let’s see--how simplified can I get this?” He pauses, formulating. “We’ve basically got a switched at birth situation going on here except we don’t exactly know who her actual parents are and well that’s a whole thing that I’d rather not get into right now. Also we don’t know if she’s actually the kid we’re looking for. And by we I mean mostly our dad but he isn’t here right now because he figured it would be less creepy for us to stare at children than he would be. And then Fitzy over there doesn’t know I’m here for extensive and even more complicated reasons. And he wasn’t supposed to interact with her. Problems all around.”

Garwin considers this explanation for a moment. On the one hand, it leaves him with more questions than answers, and on the other hand, he doesn’t really care enough to ask for further elaboration.

“Just don’t murder Sophie. I don’t need to see her on the front cover of the newspapers that should already be obsolete two days in a row,” he decides.

Alvar smiles. His teeth are brilliantly white, and it’s ever so slightly crooked in such a perfect way that makes it seem practiced. His cobalt eyes fix Garwin to the spot as they turn toward each other.

“And, um, before I go, I do immensely apologize if I’m reading this wrong, but would you like to go out with me sometime?”

“Why the hell else do you think I wandered over here? Absolutely.”

Instead of giving Garwin his phone number like a normal person by writing it on a sticky note or the back of his hand with a sharpie that doesn’t come off for a week or just directly typing it into their phone, Alvar comes equipped with a stack of business cards.

And honestly, it’s not even that surprising. Like, yes, he’s only known the guy for a grand total of fifteen minutes, but that tracks with what he knows so far…which isn’t much. But it still counts. Bitch.

Garwin smiles. “I’ll call you and set up details when I can look at my calendar and I’m not already busy with club meetings and shit.”

“Sounds good.”

After a short pause, Alvar opens his mouth to say something else, but he’s interrupted by Sweeney’s nasal whining before he gets the chance.

Garwin rolls his eyes. “I guess I should get back to the fucked up reality that is the American school system. See you later.”

“Bye,” Alvar replies, smiling.

Garwin makes his way back to the class reforming around Sweeney like a slime mold, taking his sweet time to not seem too eager to be going back to the hellhole that is occasionally referred to as a school but not dicking around so much he gets left, as making his way back there himself would be mildly inconvenient.

And we can’t have that, now, can we?

Garwin looks back into the corner to sneak one more glance at the indescribably attractive boy who has for some reason asked him out only to find that he’s nowhere to be found.

Was he just a figment of my imagination?

Garwin checks his back pocket, hissing as the sharp edges of a business card leave him with a paper cut.

Guess that solves that mess.

Now if only all the world’s problems could be solved so easily, we’d be onto something.

#kotlc #kotlc fanfic #garvar #garwin chang #kotlc garwin #kotlc alvar #alvar vacker

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arcplaysgames · 2 years

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SO I went from having almost 600,000 yen to about 200,000 yen which means the Strength SLink is complete.

As was pretty predictable, it pretty much confirms that the twins are actually one person that has been split apart.

ALSO THIS SLINK IS INTERESTING because the twins talk explicitly about Strength and its meaning and they begin to theorize that they are the ones undergoing the Strength arc, not Reverie, and that it is his responsibility to guide them through it and observe them.

man it'd be neat if the twins reunited into Margaret or Elizabeth but I assume they will become a new attendant altogether.

I miss Margaret, she was funny and hot.

Also, i took the twins to a Maid Cafe.

Reverie's core character trait is being a huge bitch and I love him.

the maid scaring the twins is really funny tbh lmao

Everywhere Reverie goes, he has to play older brother to someone. Something about him exudes big brotherly vibes in a way that Reverie The Fourth could only dream of. Everyone even a day younger than him feels his gravitational pull.

It's called the Alice form factor, Futaba, and it's better for your wrists due to the natural way they want to tilt when you reach forward. You wanna see something wild, pull up an ortholinear keyboard form factor and call me in the morning.

In Sojiro's SLink, the asshole uncle returns to cause some trouble, because the Sakuras are not allowed to be happy I gUESS.

Fuckface McGee here makes a move towards Futaba and Reverie immediately steps in to shield her. Fuckface falls and then, just like the dude who framed Reverie in his backstory, cries assault.

Suddenly shit is way more serious because Reverie is on probation and even more infraction is going to get him into deep shit.

So Futaba's like "yeah we need to steal his heart," so we're gonna do that.

BACK TO THE MSQ FINALLY, IT'S TIME FOR SOME SHOES TO DROP AFTER HOVERING IN THE AIR FOR LIKE 21 DAYS.

HARU JUST RENTS DISNEYLAND TO CELEBRATE THE OKUMURA JOB WITH EVERYONE.

jfc haru you can't just rent a theme park, i'm aghast.

While they are sitting having dinner, the Okumura press conference begins and everyone tunes it to watch.

What's interesting to me is: Why did he die now? Probably-Akechi shot him, at this point, 21 days ago back in the Palace. Why did he die now? That's super weird. I don't understand it unless it's a Necessary Contrivance that the game needs to function, like how Nanako wound up on the Midnight Channel despite that shit not making any sense.

yeah i bet you do haru. jeepers creepers, uh, sorry about your shitty dad who was essentially selling you off into sexual slavery for the sake of political power I guess???????

On Law & Order Supernatural Victims Unit, Akechi shows up to FLIP AGAIN ON WHETHER THE THIEVES DID THE THING AGAIN.

Bro, WHAT is with you, is he just gaslighting Sae? I cannot figure out what the fuck his deal is, he keeps giving Sae ideas and then going "nah actually that's dumb" then a month later he's like "altho....... yanno......" then another month later he's like "lmao you actually are following that lead like a dumbass? wow."

If he's the killer then the only thing I can figure is that he's purposefully fucking with the investigation to keep himself and whoever is pulling his strings in the clear.

So in the Twins link, they kind of imply what I've been theorizing for a while, that the Wild Card's purpose is to reach and summon the World/Universe arcana. And one of them was like "is that the same thing as rehabilitation" and the other was like "um. dunno?"

So here with Notigor.... Is his goal to guide Reverie to the World arcana, or..... like.......

What happens if Reverie, uh, fails his "rehabilitation"? And what does that entail?

I still find the fact there are other cells in this Not Velvet Room extremely sus, so idk. I'm fixating on this shit.

HAHAHA THE THIEVES ARE BEING FRAMED IN AN EXTREMELY PREDICTABLE WAY

God, here's where the fucking wheels come off, huh.

Back in the framing device, Reverie nearly passes out randomly and Sae mentions they're on very limited time. What did they inject him with, I assumed it was a sodium pentothal situation but maybe not?

...... what the fuck

..........

hang on a sec.

/opens screenshot folder and goes all the way back to the beginning of the game

.........

That. Would explain..... so much. But where does the Palace end and the real world resume? Is the interrogation happening inside the Palace? Is her Treasure a briefcase? Is Reverie getting caught a ploy to reduce the target's sense of being threatened?

I'm so tempted to just start a new game file and replay the intro with this in mind but I think that's cheating, so I won't.

I hope the game eventually just replays that introduction sequence again but with all the characters un-blacked out. We'll see.

#p5 #persona liveblog

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allkinds-oftrash · 2 years

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The Crown S5E8 Commentary

To the two people who actually read this, hi I’m finally back with these commentary! Its been a busy last two days but we’re almost done!!

Non-Spoiler Thoughts: Great dramatic episode for the tipping point of the saga that is The War of The Waleses! While I get why we got a look into the politics of the BBC, that storyline paled in comparison to the drama of Charles and Diana. So my main two complaints is: They should have shown us the full scale of the War of the Waleses and the interview’s tone should have been different. The tone they adopted worked within the context of the show and Diana’s characterisation this season but failed as a live recreation. For me personally, I think its crucial for the show to get the public events and live recreation scenes absolutely accurate so it can’t be easily discounted as fully a work of fiction and so it can go hand in hand with the scenes that are fictional - since there is so much free rein around those scenes. For me the live reenactments ground the show for me. Overall, I did enjoy it!

Spoilers Under The Cut:

Okay the ACTUAL Bashir Interview episode Let's goo

Lmaooo William "I might understand it if it was made in my lifetime" PLS HE'S SUCH A MILLENNIAL I like his relationship with Lizzie, it's very sweet Not her comparing changing TV sets to becoming Catholic 😂 Lizzie what are you doing Time to modernise Elizabethh

Diana and Dr Khan my beloved!!

Gsshsjj ohmygod Nov 5 was when Diana recorded the interview And on Guy Fawkes Night - the i r o n y

Tween William is right for setting boundaries but it's also really sad to see She's so alone sigh

I think the BBC sideplot would have been more compelling on it's own if it wasn't going up against the royal family subplots John's right thoughhh about the ethics Also the politics of it all, we really can't escape it huh

It's so funny Dukey wants to do a Queen tribute all while the Bashir interview is being arranged behind his back LMAOO THE RUPERT MURDOCH NAME DROP/CALL OUT I CACKLED DHJDJDJ Dukey why are you sucking up to Lizzie so much kdjdkdk NOT JOHN SAYING YES OUT OF SPITE I'M SCREAMING Lmaooo the excitement on Bashir's face that was endearing

Not Earl Spencer being paranoid about MI5/6 and Jepson Look what you did Martin Bashir Oop you've been caught buddy This is why you should always keep your story straight Oh god shut up Bashir not you turning the siblings against each other

Lmaooo they're going hard on the connection to Nov 5th - I wish they actually released it on that date itself it would have been a vibe! From Bashir drawing the connection and William's school covering it We love to see it! Living for the parallels 👏🏾👏🏾

God this was THE LOOK It's happening omg it's happening Let's go Elizabeth Debecki let's see what you're made of I can't decide if the choice not to show a live reenactment of this interview was good or not Definitely takes the pressure off Elizabeth D but still would have liked to see her recreate it. Like Ik we've all seen the original but it would have been nice to see it fully play out in the episode.

John having a whole crisis in the beach is so funny and relatable pls I wonder if he regrets it now

Hohoho this conversation is gonna be intense Glad she's being honest with Lizzie At least you got a heads up Yesss call her out Diana!! Well make the time Lizzie God I wanna hit my head against the wall Take some accountability Elizabeth Windsor

Do you really Lizzie DO YOU DEFEND HER?? NOT HER GASLIGHTING HER NOT THE INTERVIEW COMING OUT ON THEIR ANNIVERSARY DGDJJDJD YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS UP I'M SCREAMING

Ohmygod Dukey you have no idea what's coming OHMYGOD DI PICKED CHARLES' BIRTHDAY SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS TO BE ANNOUNCED WE LOVE the pettiness!!! She deserved to do this Yes is it a little mean?? But Charles put her through the ringer, now it's his turn to be put THROUGH IT

Gsjdjej John breaking the news to Dukey I'm cackling The way his face drops omg John said No ❤ to Dukey's protests and we have no choice but to stan Oh it's gonna be memorable night alright I can't believe the Panorama interview overshadows their anniversary pls shdkdk

Everyone's faces omggg Choose Your Fighter; The Reaction to Tampongate or the Panorama Interview

Okay yeah there's a sardonic edge to Elizabeth's answers as Diana when it should have been more sad esp the iconic "There was three of us in the marriage" but I don't hate the change. It works in the context of the show even if it's inaccurate tonally from the actual interview. Yeah Elizabeth Debecki definitely needed to look more sadder in this interview. The sorrow line did not hit as hard.

Charles throwing a tantrum I can't even Okay she did pull it off well in the end But yeah tonally the performance was off It just needed to be more devastating and wistful.

Not Dukey apologising and resigning dhkdjdd This is so dramatic pls

William's scenes/reactions in this feels loaded after what he has said recently about the interview

Overall a great dramatic episode, just slightly disappointed with the portrayal of the interview recreation.

#The Crown #The Crown Season 5 #The Crown spoilers

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mxndwitch · 3 years

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PSA

This is a PSA about the changes that will be implemented on this blog from now on. I will put them under a read more, so that I don’t clog anyone’s dash, but I would kindly ask everyone to take a look at them and then decide for yourselves if you want to keep following me, or not.

I am going private and mutuals only. That means I will no longer reply to people who are not my mutuals and most likely stay away from following blogs first. Following people has become such an anxiety inducing task in the last year that I will just keep my inner circle small. If you follow me first and I decide not to follow back, please don’t take it personally. I will be much more selective with who I follow from now on than I was before.

I will unfollow people who have never interacted with me/ have not made any effort in a couple of months to interact. I understand that life is busy and sometimes the muses just prefer certain people, but I don’t want to clutter my dash with people who have no interest in actually being mutuals. I don’t collect writers for the follower count, but actually want to write with the people I follow

Anon will be turned off until further notice, so if you’d like to send me hate, I guess you’ll have to do it while showing your face

I have already unfollowed all inactive blogs. If I have accidentally unfollowed one of your sideblogs, please let me know. Sometimes I forget who is who

I will not tolerate any hate on my dash whatsoever. That includes anon hate, continuously shitting on MCU content, gatekeeping, gaslighting and general lack of human decency

Last but not least I’m gonna be very blunt here and put it out into the world once and for all ( with the preface that if this is a reason for you to unfollow me, no hard feelings bruh. Do whatever you need ): I will not change my fc. I am aware of the gatekeeping culture concerning the Maximoffs in the fandom and this past year has been the absolute worst for me here when it comes to getting hate, solely over the fact that people cannot separate the MCU from the comic contents. Yes, the Maximoff twins had an entirely different background in the comics than they have in the MCU now and I would have appreciated it to remain the same, but fact is, the MCU did not have the legal rights to use the comic background and therefore created a completely new origin story. Elizabeth Olsen has poured her heart and talent into portraying Wanda Maximoff and I will not stop using her to cater to other people’s needs for political correctness ( or their idea of it ). I have personally met and worked with Lizzie and she was one of the kindest, most considerate people I have been blessed to encounter. She has never personally done anything to me that would make me want to stop supporting her and I am tired of defending myself for my choice. I have lost year long friendships over this debate and the constant hate i have been getting for over a year now has gotten to me. I have been very close to leaving recently, but I will not let other people take away something I thoroughly enjoy. I’ve had Wanda since 2015 and I will not throw away 7 years of writing a character I have loved since the moment I first saw her on screen.

If this is something you feel strongly about and cannot tolerate, that is absolutely fine with me. Everyone has their opinions and personal preferences and unlike some people, I will never tell anyone what to do with their own blogs. We are essentially all here to write and to develop the characters we’ve fallen in love with. For some that comes with the faceclaims of said characters, for others it means finding a new one they like more. Both is absolutely valid and should be respected. I wished the fandom would be a more considerate, open minded, tolerant place for all of us to peacefully exist in, but since that is apparently not possible, we all have to do what we can to make our dashes safe spaces.

Thanks if you have read all of this. If our ways part here, I wish you all the best and hope your future in the fandom will be fun and filled with amazing plots. If you decide to stay, I am looking forward to interacting with you in the future.

Cheers, Katie <3

#ooc #psa

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something-in-the-seas · 4 years

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Sorry to bother once again, (I had the Bioshock Infinite bullshit centrism ask and the Burial at Sea ask) but I’m replaying Bioshock 2 again as well and I can’t help but think...why does this one in particular have such a hardcore fan base? Returning to Rapture just isn’t very thrilling whatsoever, and the level design as well as even the graphic design of ads and art in the world is an enormous downgrade from the first game. Sure, the gameplay was good for 2008, but it has aged pretty badly a few things aside (the improved hacking creates great moments of tension). The color palette of the game goes from brown to dark golds, and the splicers just aren’t as engaging either. The world building and characters just feel incredibly expository and unnecessary. Sophia Lamb and collectivism just feels like cliche cult writing and not as wholly dangerous as objectivism/anarcho-capitalism and also feels like at times it’s just trying to do a critique of left wing politics and it doesn’t work. I understand Rapture is pretty much a post apocalyptic society and is just degrading rapidly, but the world just isn’t as immersive as the first and feels like a cheap imitation. Minerva’s Den really feels like the saving grace of this game, and it’s story is much better, but it is unfortunately relegated to being DLC. People complain about Bioshock Infinite’s retcons, but this entire game feels like it doesn’t have actual canonical parity to the first game and wholly unnecessary. I understand that 2k gave devs a VERY limited amount of time (like maybe a year and a half) and they got screwed over and that contributes to a lot of the shortcomings, but I just don’t understand why people in the OG fandom love it. Levine sucks, but even him and that team got shafted by 2k and forced to streamline a lot of the content they had originally made for Infinite(I was obsessed with the development of Infinite, and they brought in Gears of War and Call of Duty managers to streamline everything for the mainstream gamers from what I remember) Knowing this...why should Levine or that team consider Bioshock 2 a canon entry to the world they created? Through this lens I almost understand why Levine and that development team basically broke that universe with Burial at Sea, quite possibly knowing that studio would be dissolved and knowing 2k(a horrendous company tbh) would want to continue using the brand name and world of Rapture for a thing that team worked on for so long. As far as the Bioshock Rapture novel itself and canon...the novel itself doesn’t take a lot of the canonical events in Bioshock 1 into consideration and a lot of the prose just feels flat :/

Well, as a fan of Bioshock 2, I guess I’ll shed some insight as to why it has such a devoted fan base and why people have really turned around on the game in recent years. The game isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, and Minerva’s Den is fantastic, but it holds a special place in my heart.

Bioshock 2 absolutely still has the best game play in the series. Compared to the original Bioshock, which does feel a bit clunky, and Infinite, which doesn’t even have a weapon wheel, Bioshock 2 takes the combat system introduced in the first game and significantly improves it. Dual wielding plasmids and weapons is a game changer, you’re able to efficiently swap between the two without the wait time of pulling out your weapon. There’s a reason why people want the new game to have 2’s style of combat. Compared to Infinite’s shooting gallery style game play, it still favors exploration like the first but also experimentation when it comes to using your plasmids.

2’s designs and color pallets can still be absolutely gorgeous. It’s been eight years since Bioshock, so things are going to be rusted and in terrible shape. The game also focuses on the poorest parts of Rapture compared to the original game, which has you go to the richest neighborhoods and entertainment centers. Pauper’s Drop isn’t going to be as pretty as Arcadia or Fort Frolic.

Compared to Infinite, which is just twist after twist to try to out do the iconic WYK twist in Bioshock, 2’s story is simple: you’re just a dad trying to save your daughter. However, it does what Infinite cannot and gives you freedom. You’re able to kill or walk away and it changes the story. The characters you meet are less way expository than the ones in Infinite, who just appear to shed some backstory on Booker or Elizabeth and then die. Sparing Slate doesn’t matter, but sparing Grace does.

Grace, for example, is able to recognize Delta’s humanity and turn away from Lamb’s cult because her love for Eleanor is stronger than her fear of Lamb. As you read her audio diaries, you find out she’s an incredibly tragic character who isn’t a bad person, the world has just hurt her. Showing compassion to Grace is something she’ll never forget, and while Stanley and Gil are never seen again, I think if the team had more time, they would have included their responses. It’s implied through the statues in Persephone, though, that Delta sparing Stanley gets him to finally get his shit together and Gil is able to fight back against Alex the Great. The biggest twist 2 comes from Sinclair not being your Judas like Atlas was, even though the game hints at this, but he selflessly sacrifices himself for you and Eleanor because he’s grown to care about you.

Lamb is a controversial villain, but I think she’s miles better than Comstock when it comes to writing. She’s a terrifying, powerful figure who doesn’t rely on sexualization to get what she wants. She’s very intelligent, she runs circles around Ryan and Fontaine. Her ideals aren’t exactly terrible and she started off wanting to do the right thing, but she emotionally manipulates and gaslights people around her to do what she wants. She takes advantage of others and at the end doesn’t care about her “family.” They’re a means to an end for her, the end being Eleanor becoming her “utopian.” She’s emotionally and physically abusive to Eleanor and doesn’t respect her autonomy.

I see Bioshock 2 as less of a criticism of leftism, but more of a criticism on cults and organized religions in general. Unlike the original Bioshock, which has references to Judaism because the majority of the characters are Jewish, 2 has a lot of references to Christianity. A lot of people have a hard time understanding what exactly Lamb believes, but if you put in perspective the similarities The Rapture Family has to the Catholic Church, than things make a lot more sense. Lamb and her followers commit cruel acts under their “religion,” Delta commits good acts because it’s the right thing to do.

2 doesn’t feel very connected to the other games, though it should really with Infinite given the glaring similarities between the two. It feels like it’s own story and that works with me. There are huge stakes with Lamb possibly destroying the world if she wins, but it also has the sweetest father-daughter relationship in gaming. You have Mark Meltzer, who goes through hell and back to find Cindy and gives up his life for her, and you have Delta and Eleanor. There’s no animosity, there’s no tension, they just love each other unconditionally. Delta’s love for Eleanor is so powerful that a whole city full of cultish splicers and Big Sisters just couldn’t stop him.

There’s definitely things in 2 that are problematic like the homophobic brute splicers, but it’s not just my favorite of the trilogy, it’s my favorite game of all time. I love Bioshock 2. I love Bioshock 2 because it doesn’t try to be more than what it is. You’re a dad who loves your daughter, and she loves you. When I first played Burial at Sea, I was so glum that I played Minerva’s Den and Bioshock 2 and I felt so much better with this being the chronological end of the series (for now). Also the Little Sisters are adorable and the highlight of the game, they have so much personality now.

It’d actually break my heart if 2K actually listened to Ken and made it not canon, it’s not his decision to make. Thankfully, though, it looks like we’re getting more 2 and Eleanor content which is awesome. I can’t wait to see an adult Eleanor on next gen graphics in her prime showing off why she’s the GOAT of the OG series.

#bioshock #bioshock 2 #augustus sinclair #subject delta #eleanor lamb #sofia lamb #this game definitely isn’t for everyone but I love it #but a lot of people who hated on it when infinite was released are coming around #it’s a legit good game just not as grandiose as 1 and infinite #but being so grandiose hurts those games massively #after Ryan died the plot for 1 nose dives and infinite’s ending is an absolute mess #2 stays consistently good same with Minerva’s den

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homoeroticvillain · 3 years

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Tell me. Tell me of the ocs.

perfect timing, i just figured out their names

so meet the henderson's, the most normal family in town :]

mr henderson is a very loving husband and supportive father to his 3 kids. he works a perfectly normal office job that has absolutely zero ties to the mafia, why would you think he was related to the mafia? no that red stain is ketchup from the weekly bbq he hosted for the neighborhood, not blood.

ms henderson is a loving mother and wife but she is also a full time kindergarten teacher. she is also well liked amongst the other mothers in the town mostly due to the fact she always seems to know who's kid has what allergies when she brings in cookies. so much so the other mothers have started to joke that she's physic. but she's not actually physic, i mean that'd be insane.

oliver henderson is the henderson's eldest child and only son. he's been going through a bit of an "emo" phase recently, what with bleaching his hair and all. and he did bleach it, it didnt turn white due to a side effect of getting possessed that one time, that didnt happen. he also cant see ghosts or anything of the like, obviously. he just likes playing minecraft, no ghost related activities

ally henderson is the middle child and she is an incredibly sporty girl. she is an active member of the local soccer team and is well liked amongst her peers. although some of her teammates do seem a little jealous of her apparently abnormal strength. her strength is totally normal tho, youre just weak

elizabeth henderson [just call her lizzie] is the henderson's youngest daughter. she is a very nerdy girl who spends most of her times online or teasing/pranking her friends and siblings. also, just so like you know, she is not a demon who ended getting stuck in a young girl's body, she just really likes homestuck and hasnt finished painting her horns

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also just putting some extra notes here that arent gaslighting you /j

the kids are all adopted, between ms henderson not being physically able to have genetic kids and mr henderson not being interested in it. they ended up adopting the kids from a... slightly shady orphanage that mr henderson's job recommended

ally has a crush on the neighbour's kid, who is a perfectly normal girl that is on ally's soccer team

lizzie uses a wheelchair, she doesnt know why she needs one due to whatever caused it happened before the body's memories started. so lizzie usually likes to make up a crazy story. realistically, she's pretty sure she was just born needing one

also i dont know the parents ages or names yet but the kids ages are as follows

oliver: 18, last year of high school

ally: 16, 2nd year of high school

lizzie: 13, full blown 8th grader

#some things are still a little iffy #like if the og owner of lizzie's body is still like in there #or how possesion effects oliver a bit more then just white hair and a nose bleed #also the neighbour girl is actually just a normal girl btw #also i still need to do more research on the wheelchair part cause im not totally sure on all the stuff relating to that #i did create these guys a couple hours ago lmao #answered asks #ask #omrade echorin #also new tag for these ocs #meet the hendersons #klepto talks to himself

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yandere-daydreams · 5 years

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I’d def love an oc concept sheet for the subjects like yes please give me some good fucking food

Behold, the Core Curriculum!!! I thought I may as well start with the most important boys and girls! (Picrews Used Here: x x x x)

Subject: Mathematics

Name: Milo Brooks

Type: Possessive and Sadistic, and whiney about both.

~This guy. Fuck this guy.

~He probably started as your bully, or the average, every-day jerk you had to put up with. He’s not very tactful with his aggression, always cornering you or pushing you into walls, but never knowing what to say when he has you pinned. He wants to see you cry, and he wants to hear that cute little voice of yours pleading with him to stop. Milo doesn’t really think about it, beyond that.

~Milo skips feeding you, a lot. He wants you to think of being alive as a privilege, even if it’s a privilege you don’t care to have, on his worst days. You’ll have to beg for water, for a bed, for his attention when you begin to think you’ve been left in his basement to rot. He isn’t very nice about it, calling you needy, pathetic, but you weren’t the one crying into his chest last night.

~The type of asshole to go on and on about how much smarter he is than everyone else. He probably took Calculus. Fucking Nerd.

~You’d say he wanted to frustrate you, if you didn’t know better. There’ll always be a rule he ‘forgot’ to mention, something he wanted that you didn't give him. You’re the one who failed, the one who let him down, the one who isn’t good enough. He doesn’t take an opposing view very kindly, either.

~His punishments are as damaging mentally as they are physically. He’ll guilt you as he picks a leg to break or a patch of your skin to burn, telling you how this wouldn’t be happening if you behaved, how you should’ve done that earlier or asked for his help with something you didn’t know you were doing wrong. By the time he’s putting your newly fractured ankle into a splint, you might start to believe it, too.

Subject: Science

Name: Elizabeth Bennett

Type: Obsessive and Voyeuristic, but stolen pens will be the least of your worries.

~She’s very sweet! I mean, you might not like her, considering all the torture, but she really is very, very sweet!

~Mental Health is one of her many divisions, so you’ll only receive the up-most care. Your room is always spotless, always sunny and open, and there’s plenty of toys for you to play with! She makes sure you have the newest gaming systems, all the books your little heart could want, and something new is only a smile and a kiss away.

~She takes you outside, too, but only under strict supervision. Usually, she’ll be happy with holding your hand or being able to see you, but if her lovely, lovely lab rat wants to make a run for it, she won’t be opposed to getting you a new leash.

~Can’t cook. Like, at all. That being said, she would adore watching you make something for just the two of you. If you don’t want to, it’s fine! The kitchen is full of all sorts of sharp things she can use to encourage you.

~Elizabeth is the kind of girl who loves everything about you. You can’t throw anything away without asking her, just in case she treats it as a ‘keepsake’, and there will always be a camera on you. One of her favorite things to do is to take you into her ‘special room’, sit you in her lap and re-watch of her favorite moments with her favorite sweetheart! If you don’t seem happy, she’ll be very sad, so it’s better to put on a smile and act as excited as she is.

~Of course, she wants to know everything there is to know about you. She doesn’t like hurting you, but if keeping you under her scalpel as she takes you apart brings her closer to you, how is she supposed to resist? It's so... intimate, to her, how your blood stains her skin, how she'll know every part of you like the back of her hand, soon enough. Your screams are just so pretty, and she’ll take really good care of you, afterward. Just don’t blame your injuries on her. She tends to get… emotional rather quickly.

Subject: History

Name: Rin Hirota

Types: Possessive and Jealous, but mostly annoying.

~Look at that face. He probably only reads fiction if it’s based in World War Two. He is, at the risk of repeating myself, a nerd.

~He’s seems normal, and for the most part, he is normal. It’s just… Rin gets jealous, and he gets jealous easily. It’s who he is. You’ve known it since your first date, when he clung to your side a little tighter and spoke a little louder whenever your attention strayed, like he couldn’t stand to see you thinking about someone else. He’d never say such a thing out loud, but he isn’t all that subtle, either.

~Praise is going to be necessary, if you don’t want to deal with a temper tantrum. He wants you to comment on everything he does in that sweet, sugary tone, regardless of how honest you’re being. It’s addictive, how you treat him so highly. But, he’s willing to make everyone else seem awful, to achieve this. Sure, he’s not the best, but he’s not a monster, unlike them. Just look at how they’re eyeing you up, how disrespectful they are. Obviously, he’s the only person worth spending time with.

~Gaslighting is going to be extremely common, by the way. Whenever there’s an argument, or he says something you don’t like, he’ll let you yell and fuss for a few minutes before he walks away, only coming back hours later to go on about how wrong you were, and how he forgives you, even if he was the one being irrational. It’s not worth the energy it takes to correct him, he’s so persistant when it comes to his version of things, so just… grin and bear it. He isn’t very happy when you don’t.

~You caught him jerking off to a picture of your ankle, once. This is an example of when he begins gaslighting you.

~He won’t kidnap you, if you’re looking for a silver lining. He doesn't have to. You can't risk being with anyone else, you’ve heard such terrible things about them, but Rin never lets you believe the awful, awful rumors people spread about him. He never lets you go, even if there are rough spots, and you’re sure that’s more than all the people you used to talk to would do for you. Rin told you that himself

Subject: English

Name: Oliver Laurent

Type: Obsessive and Delusional, which is just another way of saying he’s clingy.

~He’s soft, he’s so soft. He’ll faint if you hold his hand too tightly, and that’ll never change.

~He doesn’t think of himself as a stalker, but he absolutely is. Oliver just thinks it so romantic to leave those hearts drawn on your hand for when you wake up, or cuddle up to you when you’re sleeping too restlessly for him to do so. He spends a lot of time with you when you’re asleep, come to think of it. You’re just so beautiful, in any state of consciousness.

~Love letters will be important, too. Oliver likes it when you read them, when he gets to watch as you experience so many different feelings, all focused on him, but as long as you touch the envelope, he’ll be happy. He’ll remember to make a spare, next time, just as loving and just as beautiful as the initial copy. To leave on your bed, in case you’re too embarrassed to read his confessions in public and tear it up, again.

~’Reading Time’ is required and it’s never pleasent. All his favorite books are Classics, and he reads them again and again and again, to the point where you’ll have Of Mice And Men memorized by your second month with him

~You can hurt him, if you want to. Punch him, bite him, call him a freak... he doesn't like it, but craves your attention like a drug. It doesn’t matter whether it’s positive or negative, painfully of blissful, he needs something, and he needs it often. He’ll be smiling as long as your skin is on his, even if your touch leaves such nasty marks.

~I don’t think he’s ever seen the sun. He just doesn’t see the appeal. The only time he ever really gets mad is when you ask to go outside, because he’s read The Collector and he knows what you must be planning. There’s nothing outside, you don’t have to go outside. If you aren’t happy with your room, then you must not be happy with him, which means you don’t love him and I don’t think he can take that, either.

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cosmicclownboy · 3 years

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Lucas has some definite Michael Guerin characteristics. Introduced as a mysterious bad boy and turned out to be a big nerd softy who just wants to make his mom proud. Nathan is the ultimate TV nice guy. He was fine at first but the more you see the more he's just gross and annoying.

YES!!!!!! I am sucker for secret but not so secret soft dudes

(Which one of you watches this show and wants to secretly talk about it message me I won’t expose yall)

When Nathan and Lucas were both introduced my immediate thoughts were really they killed her Mountie husband and will simply copypasta another Mountie for her.It’s Hallmark I don’t expect much. But the show pleasantly surprised me by playing on Elizabeth’s assumptions and spinning it on a wheel.Her assumptions of Nathan weren’t what they turned out to be neither was her assumptions on Lucas.

Elizabeth projects her deceased husband onto Nathan a little as well as her empathy and kindness results in her struggling to create boundaries or know when she’s overstepping. And that’s unfortunately resulted in most of her issues with Nathan. As well as her not processing her grief or being allowed the space to ....yes am talking about Nathan. Dude needs to understand I can’t and I don’t want doesn’t mean don’t give up or harass and encourage my daughter/niece to make a creepy card.That’s some weirdo Hallmark gaslighting.(Carson also does it to Faith too honey dump his ass)

I absolutely adore what they did with Lucas’ character because lets be real the show has some serious one note characters like Faith and Carson. LORD CAN THEY BREAK UP ALREADY!!! Lucas could of been painfully stereotypical but he’s not. There’s this genuine warmth and compassion there that feels needed. You have characters like Clara, Jesse and Carson and Faith and they are hella wooden with no personality. Lucas offers a much more rounded and faceted character.He fits in the show.And he makes it fresh in a way.

Nathan gives me Dawson Leery war flashbacks. We never really see Nathan care about what Elizabeth wants or what she likes. When Lucas described Elizabeth as kindhearted Nathan said giving.Because that’s how he sees her someone to give to him. He also originally saw no interest in getting her anything because he thought he already sort of did....until he thought Lucas sent flowers.

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furyfought · 3 years

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abernathy is a small town, surely you’ve met AGATHA KLEIN ; they can be a little IRREVERENT & OPPORTUNISTIC but have no fear , the TWENTY SEVEN year old definitely makes up for it by being IMPISH & SENSITIVE . most of the time anyway . they’re usually seen around KLEIN & ASSOCIATES, LLC , as a CRIMINAL DEFENSE ATTORNEY . you know, i hear they’re affiliated with the local mc, iron kings as an ATTORNEY . they’ve got this vibe of A HEART GROWN RAVENOUS, A CYANIDE CENTER ENCAPSULATED BY SACCHARINE FRUIT, AND A SOUL IN THE FORM OF A SCRIBBLE WITH FANGS going on , makes them easily recognizable.

loosely inspired by jennifer check (jennifer's body), wendy byrde (ozark), ginger fitzgerald (ginger snaps), elizabeth sloane (miss sloane), john silver (black sails), & BBHMM.

+ pinterest, stats.

hey, friends. i’m devin (or dev) & very tickled to be here. agatha’s a combination of two of my favorite muses, and i can only hope that you’ll love her as much as i do. 🤎

"𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄, 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒. 𝐍𝐎. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓."

agatha’s story isn’t one that she likes to tell anymore. she feels it’s useless: to be defined by the actions of others, to attempt to battle the preconceived notions that run rampant regardless of what one says or does. she doesn’t want to beg for understanding anymore, or to claw her way from beneath the filth she’s made of her life. all that most know is all that she can bear to have known. the rest? it’s confetti; a meager concession in a game of chess. if you know her, is that a fact or a weapon to be used against her?

when it comes to the stories that can be told, however.. perhaps the most important is background. agatha’s an abernathy native: raised in grandiose park, flew the coop for college, only to settle back down in bordeaux apartments. klein & associates, llc. has been in her family for generations, each forefather serving increasingly questionable clients. agatha’s life, like that of many kleins before her, was already planned before she’d ever even been a thought in her parents’ minds. under her mother’s rule, there wasn’t any room for straying from that path. agatha would be smart; she would be clean; and she would be, without fail, someone. in other words, she would be her perfect replica. imagine the disappointment when agatha was anything but.

agatha’s childhood can be summed up by three things: a door slammed shut in her face, an ear-piercing howl, and the chronic longing to go home — wherever that was. it’s another thing she doesn’t talk about, another thing she tries not to think about. those three things have followed her into adulthood, but they’ve taken different forms now. no longer is agatha a child screaming her throat raw — no; now, she cries out in other more productive ways. if you were to ask her, she’d tell you that she’s a woman grown; the past is behind her, buried in the sand where it belongs. the truth is trickier, less absolute. agatha is a child in the form of a woman; forever in the midst of a metamorphosis, unsure if for better or worse. she lacks foresight & lives largely in the now. she can’t imagine a future for herself and her choices in life reflect that.

agatha succeeds because she’s pretty, powerful, and convincing. wherever she falls short, her father is sure to more than make up for it. it’s amazing what people will do for the right price, and when they want to keep certain secrets from ever seeing the light. nepotism & immense privilege have done wonders for her, but she does.. actually work hard, too. she has an incredible memory & is really good at digging for more information & making her case. if she tells you that she’s going to do something, then she’s going to do it right no matter what. she’s dogged in that way, blinded to the outside world by her stubbornness. she works long hours & values her career above all else. she thinks it’s the only sure thing she has & views it as the one stable, secure thing in her life.

agatha is lonely to the point of defect. she lacks a sense of security in her life, which is why she’s so career-focused. she genuinely thinks that the only person ever looking out for her is her dad. she becomes very predictable once you realize that she will always pick the winning team; that she will forever follow the money; and that she is always going to make the decision that most benefits her. that isn’t to say that she doesn’t have any friends omg, but.. she doesn’t really trust easily. if she trusts you and considers you near and dear to her heart, then she’ll choose you. but until she has that reassurance? you’re on your own, bro.

but like.. you literally would not know that unless you got burned by her. agatha is really good at listening and really good at playing parts for people. the thing with having no story is that she’s free to create her own. if you need a hero, she can be that. if you need a villain, she can definitely be that. she’s eerily good at getting chummy enough to make people think she’s close, only for them to realize.. they don’t actually know anything real about her? fun stuff.

i think.. her entire life is a vie for power while also wanting to let go of that desire while also being afraid of what might happen if she were to let go of that desire. she’s not tht bad. she can play decent, be a guy’s guy. and she does come off tht way. it’s jus.. underneath there’s tht like .. tht rot tht she can’t scrub away. n it rears its ugly little head smtimes. but. :^) she can be cool n shoot the shit u kno.. heheh.

anyway.. lighter stuff<3 puts the gaslight and gatekeep in girlboss. talks just like her daddy, except for when she’s in the courtroom. egocentric without ever meaning to be. (spoiler: it’s a smoke screen.) she can, must, and will find a way to twist your words into something she can make sense of. believes in mixed drink supremacy. will absolutely smoke all of your weed + play dumb about hogging the blunt. plays dumb a lot actually, until it’s time to be smart. she’s touchy-feely, but freezes up whenever someone touches her. stares — a lot. can’t ever be the person to pick you up after a rough night out, because she’s likely there with you egging you on to do one more shot. every event is a tits out event / she has to be the most overdressed person in the convenience store at all times. can, must, and will be your unsolicited sugar momma. YOU SPIL-DBFDHFDJHBF LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINO WHITE BAG? energy. thinks everything is a competition because it is. if she loved you once then she loves you forever. thinks going 20 over the speed limit isn’t speeding, actually. a bit of an emotional anarchist. can’t actually take what she’ll dish out. teases u if she likes u. teases u if she doesn’t like u. doesn’t care abt the feud as long as she’s gettin’ tht shmoney. big fan of an emotional sucker punch.

"𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐄𝐄𝐌𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓𝐒 𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐋." + below are some ideas open to any & all muses no matter the age, gender, affiliation, etc !

i’ve left how she got involved with the mc totally absent from this intro bc i was hoping to plot it out! i’d love it if someone wanted to be her “in”. could be they were a childhood friend in need of help, a client she got close to, jus smth tht happened by chance.. whtever we come up with works! <3

if anyone needs an evil ex gf .. She’s Here. she will lie, cheat, scam, trash yr car, empty yr bank account.. whtvr you need, baybee<3

conversely.. not-so-evil ex gf? agatha can be nice & caring without there being a catch sometimes. maybe they still talk. maybe they’re friends. u tell me.

fwb / ex fwb? she do be sending them ‘u up?’ texts.

someone tht agatha only got close to bc she wanted them to testify/be a character witness in court oopz<3

omg actual friends pls.. ppl tht Know her. tht See her. ppl tht she cares abt n would actually do anything for. friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

agatha has “get off my lawn” energy so i think it would be very funnie if someone needed a place to crash n she let them stay at hers thinking it was temporary n then they jus.. did not leave. n she’s like 🤨 hello?

an almost smth? anything weird n awkward n unspoken tht maybe fizzled out or maybe still lingers under the surface?

agatha doesn’t have a budding drinking problem but if she does no she doesn’t but if she does then<3 drinking buddy? someone that she’s gotten into questionable shenanigans with? poor bartender tht has to deal w her trying to “help” them as she waits for her uber to come? the possibilities are endless.

agatha’s all bark n very little bite but i still think it’d be funnie if she had a hateship. jus putting tht out there<3

if yr muse wnts an ego boost via unrequited crush.. lmk. i’m willing to hulk smash all of agatha’s dignity jus for u.

omggg a dealer? >.> who said tht omg #hacked..

on n off again thingz? lorde wrote tht "i am my mother's child i'll love you til my breathing stops / i'll love you till you call the cops on me" line abt her</3

budding friendships!!!!!!! ppl tht she goes to pilates or yoga with; people she gets brunch with; ppl she keeps running into n its like heeey u :); little platonic crushes jus . all of the cute platonic thingz tht make her go wtf is this 🤨.

i mean.. if anyone wants a sugar momma.. I MEANNN..

college friends!! law school friends!! ppl she met over the summer while interning somewhere!! i left tht purposely vague, hint-hint.

tinder dates gone wrong. ghosted tinder dates. tinder thingz.

agatha’s been attending galas / banquets / office partiez for ages now so if anyone wants to be her plus one or her lil fake date... :^) could be cute. cld be angsty. world is our oyster.

speaking of which.. coworkers n maybe even a lil personal assistant would be so sexie.

#abernathyintro #omg arriving unfashionably late thirty yrs later. >.>#[vine vc] heeey.. . ..#nt rereading this. simply not strong enough. if there r errors then no there aren't<3

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thestray · 4 years

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The 62 2020 Movies Releases I Watched During 2020 Ranked

Like the awkward title says, I’m going to rank (and talk about) all the 2020 movies I watched in 2020. This is not meant as any empirical list of what was best, it’s ranked by what I liked the least to the most, and my main criteria is what kind of impact it had on me and/or how much I enjoyed the experience of watching it.

Little bit about myself, I went to art school for animation, then after art school I went to a community college where I studied screenwriting. Never ended up pursuing either thing professionally, but I still write screenplays in my free time and read screenwriting books and listen to screenwriting podcasts. I'm the type of person that loves special features, seeks out behind the scenes information and director interviews, and watch youtube videos analyzing films. I love film, and thinking about film and talking about film and sharing the films I like, and maybe one day making films of my own, who knows.

Ranking and reviewing 62 movies was a more ambitious and challenging task than I anticipated, I rearranged this list swapping titles back and forth so many times, and then I’d remember a movie I forgot I watched and have to add that and figure out where it ranks. I started this on January 1st and am just now ready to post it on the 17th, I was still switching rankings right up until posting this. Even looking at it now there are some kinda want to switch but I’ve accepted that this is more or less arbitrary, lol.

The more I learn about film and what goes into creating a movie the more lenient I am about them. It’s not like I’m never critical of films, but I try to consider both the good and the bad of a movie instead of thinking in a binary of films are either amazing or trash. Some of these films aren’t great, but I typically still enjoyed them to some degree. Except Mulan, lol. I’m sorry Mulan. Speaking of Mulan...

62. Mulan

I'm going to try to say something nice about all these movies even if I didn't like them at all. So... I like the cast, and there are some nice visual moments. I actually was looking forward to this movie before reviews started coming out, it has 2 of the martial arts G.O.A.T.s in it, Donnie Yen and Jet Li, and also Jason Lee as the bad guy, so I figured it might at the very least have some decent action, but they were all underutilized. There’s not a single moment in the film where I felt anything at all. I think all these Disney live-action remakes are doing is making a case for how effective animation is for storytelling.

61. Color Out of Space

I heard a lot of good things about this movie, and it’s really cool visually, and I love Nicolas Cage always, but I really couldn’t get into it. I guess my main issue is that it starts off already too campy for any of to the Lovecraftian horror to really hit. It felt like a B-movie with great production value, and maybe that’s what they were going for? I really wanted to like this but I really just did not feel invested in anything going on, did not relate to anyone in the family, so I don’t think I got much out of it besides the cool visuals.

60. Bloodshot

I think the main flaw of this movie is that is that Vin Diesel was a producer on it, and Vin Diesel should be kept away from making creative decisions on movies. How Did This Get Made did a great podcast episode on this movie. It’s absolute nonsense, it has a couple of cool sequences and special effects in it, and Lamorne with a British accent is great, he’s the main redeeming value of this movie.

59. The Midnight Sky

It seems like this movie wants to be Interstellar, it’s structured in a very similar way, but it just didn’t quite have that same emotional punch. It looks very good, it’s well-acted, it has it’s moments.

58. The New Mutants

It's not as much of a trainwreck as people make it out to be in my opinion, I think the cast is good and it has some good character interactions, but it mostly suffers from the fact that it's way too predictable, from the beginning you're way ahead of the characters, and it doesn't help that they're in this confined setting so there's not a lot for them to actually do. But I appreciate the attempt at using mutants to do a horror breakfast club thing, good concept.

57. Vampires vs The Bronx

Vampires as a gentrifiers taking over the hood, great idea. Mero is in it, the brand is brolic. It was a fun set up, but it was neither funny enough or scary enough in my opinion. The vampires die so easily it's like okay whatever. It's like a really long Goosebumps episode.

56. Freaky

I don't think the execution lived up to the great concept, but Vince Vaughan was really great in those sincere moments playing a teenage girl. Horror fans will appreciate the gory kills. I'm not going to spoil anything but I do think there are some narrative issues that keep this from being stronger than it could've been. If you made the killer a creepy janitor at the school or even one of the teachers, then I think that would've created more interesting situations.

55. Eurovision

I love Will Ferrell, I even love some of his flops like Casa De Mi Padre and Kicking and Screaming, and even the House I think had a lot of really funny moments. This was definitely one of the least funny movies he's done to me. I think the director David Dobkin couldn't commit to being silly the way Adam McKay can cause there's a lot of this movie that just has no jokes, and the movie is over 2 hours long which isn't normal for comedies so you spend a lot of time watching unfunny scenes and extended musical numbers.

54. The Wrong Missy

I'm not a big fan of most Happy Madison movies, the jokes are very hit or miss for me. I'm a big fan of Lauren Lapkus though so I watched it to support her, and she plays an absolute psycho in this. It's so over the top it's like this character is not a human being, but I have to admit there are a few moments where she made me laugh pretty loud. I'd never watch this movie again, but maybe I'd look up certain parts on youtube.

53. The Platform

High concept dystopian sci-fi horror. Reminds me of the Cube. It's one of those things that makes you think about what you'd do in the same situation. It's a very on the nose allegory, so by the end of it my only takeaway was "Yeah, it really be like that."

52. Archenemy

Another high concept movie. Joe Mangienello is good in it, but Glenn Howerton and Paul Scheer are my favorite parts of the movie, it's fun to see comedy actors play bad guys. My main problem with the movie was that I did not find the teen character to be interesting or relatable at all, in fact he can be kind of obnoxious. In his introductory scene he's REALLY bothering this random guy minding his own business, not respecting his boundaries at all. Then the rest of the movie is about him exploiting a homeless man and being really pushy for likes on some app, and he doesn't really have a character arc. Also wasn't a big fan of the animated sequences but I forgive that knowing this was a low budget movie and those sequences were done by a team of just 3 people.

51. Power

Jamie Foxx is great. I think he makes almost anything he's in watchable to some degree. The idea of this movie is fun but I think the action sequences are kinda underwhelming, but Jamie makes it worth watching in my opinion.

50. Birds of Prey

This movie was all style and absolutely no substance. When your main character doesn't have a solid purpose or goal you're really just watching shit happen, and that can be okay if the shit that's happening is occassionally fun or funny, but it doesn't really make for a memorable story in my opinion.

49. Wonder Woman 84

The most panned movie of 2020 maybe? It's got flaws for sure and some narrative choices I just can't understand why they made. It has some fun performances though and I ultimately appreciated that our superhero wins not by using her fists but by appealing to goodness. I feel like you rarely see that kind of idealism any more. It may not be realistic but I think that's one of the things fantasy is good for, showing us a way things could be better to strive for. But yeah, the Steve Trevor things was fucking weird, why'd they do that? And neither Steve or Diana seem concerned with about this random guy's fate. I'd probably rate this film higher if they had Steve simply appear out of thin air, I mean why not? It's magic. But I loved Kristen Wig and Pedro Pascal in this. Pedro is performing with his whole body, did he film this after season 1 of the Mandolorian? Maybe being under that helmet for a season made him want to be really expressive. The films overall kinda campy but I didn't necessarily mind that.

48. Peninsula

Sequel to the already classic Train to Busan, this film decides the up the scale, which is what sequels often do, but I think it was a mistake in this instance. This is more of an over the top action movie than a character-driven horror film like the first. There's a climactic Mad Max-esque car chase scene that is almost entirely CGI. I don't think it was a bad movie, it's an okay popcorn flick, but it definitely doesn't live up to the original.

47. The Old Guard

In terms of action I don't think it did anything interesting, but I like how they explored how horrific and heartbreaking it would be to be immortal. Coming to terms with your own mortality is a tough thing to do, but we often don't consider the idea that death is a blessing we take for granted.

46. Sputnik

A Russian sci-fi thriller about a young doctor being tasked with trying to figure out how to separate an alien parasite from a Cosmonaut that's returned from earth. Good performances, creepy vibe, and lots of interesting questions about ethics. It has a sort of epilogue ending with a reveal I didn't quite understand the significance to the story, but didn't take away from either. Solid.

45. The Invisible Man

Fun sci-fi thriller about toxic abusive relationships and gaslighting. Elizabeth Moss is great in it and my favorite sequences are before her character actually catches on and you have moments where the camera is just focusing on a random place, very creepy and effective.

44. Sonic the Hedgehog

Personally I would've preferred a fully animated film taking place in Sonic's world. I don't know why they always feel like they need to make these movies about human characters and then spend a lot of time having to hide your CG character and having people do comical reactions to them. It feels very played out to me. BUT Jim Carrey is great in this, of course. Jim Carrey is the reason to watch this movie. He makes the movie. And it goes without saying thank God they changed that character design.

43. 2067

What I liked about this dystopian future is that the cause was basically everything. War, famine, ruining the environment, pandemics, just all our collective fuckery has resulted in a world where the human race is on the verge of extinction, plants are extinct, and oxygen is synthetic. Enter time travel, a young man is tasked with traveling into the future to bring back the solution to saving the human race. Very timely obviously. I liked it.

42. Monsters of Man

Some asshole tech bros let some killer robots loose on a remote southeast asian village as a trial run. It has lots of flaws but I give it some leeway because this is the first film of a guy who wrote, directed and was the cinematographer by himself, he didn't have a huge budget or much experience, so it's hard to expect perfection. My biggest criticism is that the film centers a white guy living in this village and some westerner medics, not the actual Asian people of the village. Could've been so much more of interesting commentary about racism and eurocentrism dropping these robots in a village of brown people no one will miss just for practice. That aside though I think it was a solid enough thriller and the robots looked pretty good.

41. Family Romance LLC

An interesting movie about a Japanese entrepreneur who has a business where he'll play whatever role in your life you need. Father, husband, coworker, etc there's a scene where someone even pays him to be scolded in his place by his boss. The main thrust of the film though is him playing the role of a girl's absentee father, pretends to reconnect with her and take her out on the town for activities. It's shot very documentary style, and there are a mixture of first time actors and non-actors. Sometimes there are long awkward conversations that feel just as awkward as real life. I really liked the premise, and the only thing that keeps it from being higher on my list is it doesn't have a strong enough conflict nor does it really have a satisfying conclusion.

40. Over the Moon

Directorial debut of animation legend Glen Keane, I really liked this visually. It was sufficiently enjoyable, but it doesn't have that emotional gut punch that Pixar or Disney films tend to have. But I guess cartoons don't NEED to make you bawl your eyes out to be good. I think there were some missed opportunities narratively, like I guess this is spoilery so just scroll ahead if you don't want to know, but she gains a step brother that she doesn't like and doesn't want to spend time with, once the adventure starts on the Moon they get separated very early on, and don't ge reunited until towards the end, but she somehow now cares about him and considers him her brother. I didn't feel like that was really earned, they should've been together throughout the adventure getting to know each other. But I otherwise liked the story aside from that nitpick. Loved the colors of this movie, almost everything in the moon world is luminescent which provides some nice visuals. Hope to see Glen direct more in the future.

39. The Croods 2

Nothing revolutionary but it has some solid physical comedy and great voice acting. All of Nicolas Cage's overacting is perfect for animation, and I liked Peter Dinklage as Mr. Betterman as well. There's a lot going on thematically but it all works pretty cohesively.

38. #ALIVE

Another Korean zombie thriller. I really liked this because I felt like as far as zombie outbreaks go this is the most realistic scenario. Once you realize what's going on you will just stay in your house rather than risk going outside and fighting zombies. But that poses the problem of a limited supply of food and water. The main thrust of the movie is not how this character survives though it's about him trying to retain his will to live. It's the perfect pandemic isolation allegory.

37. Love and Monsters

It looked kinda corny but I actually enjoyed this more than I thought I would. I like Dylan O'Brien, I love Tom Holland as Peter Parker but I've always felt like Dylan O'Brien would've been a great choice too, he has a good everyman relatable quality. There's also a dog in the movie that I loved. Put a dog in peril in a movie and I will be on the edge of my seat guaranteed. It's a fun movie with some interesting creatures in it and a solid character arc for our main protagonist.

36. Extraction

I love the trend of stunt coordinators directing films. That's the main reason why the John Wick series is so good, and the reason why this also has some very solid action. Nothing crazy here in terms of story or themes, everything is an excuse for Chris Hemsworth to fuck people up and it delivers on that. There's one scene where he slaps around some kids attacking him that I found hilarious as well. Fully welcoming an Extraction 2.

35. Save Yourselves

A couple decides to take a break from social media and get away to a cabin outside the city. While they're disconnected from the world an alien invasion occurs, furry little basketball sized poofs. This movie was pretty funny. I'm a little ambivalent about the ending but I enjoyed these hipsters arguing about what to do about aliens.

34. Bill and Ted Face the Music

A most bodacious movie. Fun gags and a robot that steals the show. It's not as good as the first 2 but I don't think that's any surprise. I think it borrows a little bit too much from the previous films, like the collecting legendary musicians thing, could've done without that. It was a fun movie though, and the daughters really worked.

33. An American Pickle

Seth Rogen playing an orthodox Jew who's been preserved in pickle juice for 100 years and his modern day app developer grandson. I think this may be Seth Rogen's best acting role, as silly as this movie is he's kind of endearing as this character from 100 years aro, and as the grandson he's a lot more understated than he usually is in movies.

32. Tenet

Tenet! Is it controversial that this is not higher up on the list? I really like Nolan's films, actually been a fan since watching his first film Following in a film class. Nolan likes playing with time in his movies so it was inevitable that he'd do something that addresses it very directly eventually. I love the time travel genre and I think this is one of the most ambitious and unique approaches to it to ever done. I actually braved theaters to see this because I did not want to miss the opportunity to see it on the big screen. I did it as safely as possible and booked a reserved seating theater where I knew I wouldn't be sitting by anyone, had a mask, gloves, antibacterial gell on deck, sanitized my seat with wipes, etc, there only 2 other people in the theater all of us sitting way for from each other. Weirdest moviegoing experience I've ever had but glad I saw it on the big screen because the visual spectacle of this is excellent. The reason it's not higher on the list is because as conceptually cool as it is as I did not feel invested. Just on a story level having a character we know very little about pursuing a goal he knows very little about for no clearly defined reason makes it feel like... we're just watching events unfold as opposed to watching a character-driven story. There's a moment at the end that you can tell was meant to be an emotional moment, but I felt nothing. They try to introduce some emotional stakes with the female character, but idk, since it wasn't tied to the inciting incident it felt more like a b-plot than fundamental to the story. So it was a really fun cool looking puzzle, more like watching a cool Rube Goldberg machine, but not something I really thought much about after it was over.

31. Guns Akimbo

I really have been enjoying Daniel Radcliffe's post-Harry Potter career, he'll do some solid dramas he seems to prefer doing fun weird shit like Swiss Army Man, Horns, his role on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, etc. This is in that vein of fun weird shit, a guy who gets guns bolted to his hands and is running around the city in a robe trying to survive essentially a real life video game. A lot of the movies lower on this list had fun concepts but were lacking in execution, but this is one that is just as fun as the idea sounds, even more fun actually, it's funny, the action is good, and there are some great visuals. I found it all around enjoyable.

30. Let Them All Talk

Glen Close as a celebrated author who invites her nephew and 2 estranged best friends on a cruise with her. It's a very light-hearted movie with some underlying conflicts that the characters are afraid to address head on. Glen Close is great, obviously, she plays this pretentious self-important woman with affectations but is still likable and warm. It's a fairly pleasant almost slice-of-life until the 3rd act where everything comes together. To me it was a movie about communication, saying what you mean, saying what you feel, and those unspoken assumptions of what those around you are thinking or feeling about you. I know I can relate to the idea of wanting an apology from someone who might not even be cognizant of the fact that you feel slighted by them, or vice versa finding out someone's had a long standing problem with you when you thought you were cool. One sided grudges do no one any good.

29. True History of the Kelly Gang

I've heard of Ned Kelly, but I've never seen the Heath Ledge or Mick Jagger movies about him and I don't know much about him other than he's a famous Australian outlaw and something of a folk hero to some. The performances and cinematography if this are great. George MacKay from 1917 is the lead and he's amazing, sometimes vulnerable and soft, other times a madman. It spends a lot of time in his childhood and the child actor who plays Ned is great as well. It's gritty and sometimes surreal in it's imagery. From what I can gather previous films seemed to focus more on what happened with him and his gang, while this movie seems to focuses more on everything in his life that led up to him becoming who he is and forming that gang. Like a 3rd of the movie is spent in his childhood, and once the gang is actually formed things move at a pretty brisk pace, seemingly skimming over the exploits of the gang to the conclusion. The film feels very raw and gritty and very fuck the police which I always appreciate.

28. Lucky Grandma

A stubborn grandma in New York's chinatown gets her fortunte read and is told that she's going to be very lucky and come into a fortune, she then comes into possession of a bunch of money that belongs to a gang and she decides to try to keep it feeling it's owed to her by the universe. A funny crime drama with the unlikeliest of protagonists.

27. Da 5 Bloods

Spike Lee is an icon but he can honestly be a little hit or miss for me. I don't always enjoy every choice he makes, for instance he uses real footage of war attrocities in this, and it's really upsetting to see REAL people, including children, be killed, when you're not expecting that. I understand it's meant to be upsetting, but it does make the movie something I'll probably never rewatch. Spike Lee's films to me can also feel at times heightened to the point that it feels a little cheesy (Miracle At St Anna), and there moments in this that kinda took me out of it to be honest, but overall I enjoyed it. The performances were great, Delroy Lindo in my opinion is one of the most underrated actors of all time, he's just always good no matter what he's in, everyone else in it is good too, but of course I have to mention Chadwick Boseman who was great. At the end of the day it gave me a lot to think about in terms or race, war, America, forgiveness, trauma and so many other things.

26. The Devil All The Time

There's a LOT going on in this movie, maybe a little too much, it's like 2 or 3 movies smashed into one, but... I really liked it, and that's probably because Tom Holland is so good in it. Really liked Robert Pattinson in it too. I can’t really think of more to say about it say I won’t. Next movie.

25. Bad Education

A true crime movie about school district officiala who stole from the budget of a highschool. Hugh Jackman is great in this. I loved Jackman as Wolverine, but now that he's done with that I'm excited to see him other stuff cause he's always interesting to watch; The Fountain, Prisoners, The Prestige, he's always solid. I enjoyed this, it was done with nuance, it doesn't let them off the hook for what they did but it doesn't paint them as absolute monsters either. I really have to ask myself, if I could get away with stealing money that no one would miss... I don't know, I think I'd not do it out of fear not altruism, lol.

24. My Octopus Teacher

This is a documentary on Netflix about a diver who immerses himself in the world of underwater life and documents the life of an octopus. It's really beautiful, both in terms of visuals and in content. There's not a lot to talk about because it's fairly straightforward, but it was really fascinating to learn about this octopus and see the bond they mutually formed, and again I can't talk about how great this movie looks, it's like you're in a different world. This is something I could put in and mute while I draw just for the ambiance.

23. Kajillionaire

A quirky dramedy about a family of really obtuse poor scam artists. As absurd as their behaviour is I can totally imagine a trio of weirdos like this living in Los Angeles ( I can say that cause it's my hometown and where I lived most of my life. It's Evan Rachel Wood's best role, I never would've imagined her doing something like this but she's great as "Old Dolio". It's funny, at time sad but not in a hammy melodramatic way, and I feel it had the perfect ending.

22. The Gentleman

Guy Ritchie doing what he does best. It's fun, stylish, witty, has layers and twists and reveals. Everybody's good in it. It doesn't have anything poignant to say, but it's fun to watch the entire time

21. Run

A thriller about a wheelchair bound teen who suspects her mother is drugging her and tries to get to the bottom of it. You can tell this director is a Hitchcock fan because it definitely has that Rear Window vibe but takes it a step further, and in many ways it's even shot and paced like Hitchcock. The lead actress is actually wheelchair bound herself so it really adds to the realism of all the things she does in this film. Oh, and Sarah Paulson is the mom, when is Sarah Paulson ever not good?

20. Horse Girl

Alison Brie is an awkward neurotic woman getting over recent grief and a history of mental illness in her family, she starts to have weird dreams and then notices people from her dreams in real life, starts blacking out and having gaps in time, and starts to believe it's due to alien abduction conspiracy. Is she losing her mind or is it really happening? Alison Brie is really really good in this, and she co-wrote it too, it has a lot of moments where you really feel sorry for her or scared for her and you start to question what's real yourself.

19. Swallow

I found this movie really fascinating, it's like what if you turned one of those My Strange Addiction episodes on TLC into a movie. It's about this woman who ostensibly, at least from appearances, has the perfect life (at least by societal standards), she came from nothing and is now housewife to a rich successful man, and behaves almost like a Stepford wife. Then develops a compulsion to swallow inedible things, like marbles and batteries and thumbtacks, which is a real condition called pica. Its the kind of movie that gives you a lot to think about but no easy answers.

18. Time to Hunt

A Korean heist thriller set in the near future. A bunch of childhood friends rob the wrong person and have an Anton Chigurh-esque killer sent after them to retrieve the money and kill them. It's a really tense cat and mouse thriller with good performances. The ending seemed to turn a lot of people off based on a lot of youtube comments I read, but I didn't mind it. My only real gripe is that they set this in the near future but aside from some imagery in the beginning it doesn't seem to come into play that much, this all could've taken place in modern day or even the past with no alteration of the story. I think the future setting was more just for some social commentary that maybe went over my head a little bit because I'm not from Korea, but I think if they were going to do near future they could've added some futuristic weapons or something. But that's just nitpicking, while the future setting didn't add to the story much it didn't take away from it either.

17. Tigertail

As I get older one of my worse fears is making decisions that I will regret for the rest of my life, so this movie really hit home as a cautionary tale. It's a kind of quietly devastating movie. There's no huge tragic horrific even, just a huge miscalculation. Decades of your life of work and unhappiness go by and all you can do is wonder what things could've been. I also especially appreciated the cinematography and music of this film.

16. Mother

It's been a while since I hated a character this much, but this titular mother really pissed me off. She's a neglectful mother who only sees her son as a tool, but he sticks by her cause he loves her. It's definitely not a fun movie to watch, but it made me feel a lot and meditate on the idea of love and whether it in itself has innate value.

15. Call

I went into this movie cold, having no idea what it was really about other than that it was a thriller that revolved around a woman getting mysterious calls. I'm glad I had seen no trailers and did not know the gist of the plot becuase it went places I really was not expecting. One of the most fun thrillers I've seen in a while. So, I'm not going to talk about the movie but what I will say is that Jeon Jong-seo, who played the woman in Burning is in this, she was great in Burning and she's great in this. After watching it I googled her to see what else she's been in that I can watch and this is only her 2nd film. Apparently Burning was her first audition EVER and she BOOKED IT! Like, one a million success story right? But she deserves it cause she's great and I look forward to seeing what else she does.

14. Possessor

This was directed by Brandon Cronenberg, the son of David Cronenberg, big shoes to fill, and I think he's going to fill them fine cause this is already a cult classic in my opinion. The visuals in this, which look like they were mainly created with practical and in camera effects. There is some very graphic very realistic violence in this. The movie is about an assassin who works for an organization and uses some type of scientific process to "possess" people to carry out hits. When she's in a body for too long who's in control starts to blur. It's really fucking trippy, like a fucked up Black Mirror episode.

13. Borat 2

Been a fan of Sacha since the old Da Ali G Show days when Borat was just a side character. I'm amazed with out Sacha can stay in character the way he does, especially when later on in the movie he shelters in place with some Qanon conservatives with who knows how long staying in character. Maybe they'll reveal they were paid actors who knows, but whatever I fucking laughed a lot at this movie. There's a black woman in this movie that I hope to god was not an actress cause I loved her and her reactions so much. It was a breath of fresh air to watch something that's just goofy in 2020 because it wasn't a good year for comedy. As much as I love film sometimes I got a little fatigue from watching so many things with very heavy themes, this also had heavy themes it was satirizing, but also chimp pornstar jokes, so.. a fun time.

12. A Sun

A drama about a family's eldest son going to juvenile detention for his involvement in a violent crime. We see how his father, his mother, his brother and his pregnant girlfriend all deal with this. I found it very engaging. My only gripe is that there are some moments of levity where they use this really generic comedy music score it and it really takes you out of the film. No music at all is better than bad generic music. Other than that I really loved it and the ending is great. I really thought this would end up in my top 10 but the following films just had more personal relevance or were more fun to watch.

11. Ma Rainey's Black Bottom

R.I.P. Chadwick Boseman, this movie is like an acting showcase for him, he has so many great monologues here, the ending really took the wind out of me. It's also packed with really still relevant commentary on race.

10. Onward

You already expect a Pixar movie to make you cry, but this came from angle I was NOT expecting and I bawled hard at this. This movie was so applicable to my life experience it's like they specifically engineered it to make me personally cry. Honestly there are better movies lower on this list, but movies are just like any other art, when a song touches you on a personal level it doesn't need to have complex instrumentation cause it's how it made you feel that matters.

09. Palm Springs

A comedy released during a pandemic about trying to find stimulation and meaning when every day is the same thing? Ya don't say! Another take on Groundhog Day, which at this point I feel like it's its on genre with the amount of times the concept has been done, but I'm not complaining, I typically enjoy a good time loop movie (or show; Russian Doll). I don't know what else to say besides that it's really funny and Andy Samberg and Cristin Milioti are both charming and great in it.

08. Scare Me

This movie was funny, creepy, the performances were great, and it's just really unique and clever. Written, directed, produced, and starring Josh Ruben, who I know primarily does really idiosyncratic "impressions" on instagram. It's 2 people alone in a cabin telling each other scary stories, they don't cut away to the stories you just watch them act it out. 4 people in the cast, one location, and it still manages to be a fun ride of a movie and manages to touch on some good themes in the overall story. I really hope to see Josh Ruben direct more films because I think he's really creative.

07. Ride Your Wave

A romantic comedy about a woman trying to find joy and purpose in her life. I often go into movies very cold, so I didn't know much about what this movie was about, just knew that it was from an animation studio and director that I really respected. It's very beautiful, very grounded, until it's not. Kind of movie that breaks your heart so it can uplift you later.

06. Uncle Frank

I really did not expect a lot from movie, not that I thought it would be bad, I just thought it be your middle of the road movie. It's about a teenage girl who really looks up to her uncle who she learns is a closeted gay man, in an era where that was potentially dangerous to be. They go on a road trip home when his father dies and learn about each other and themselves, it sounds kinda cookie cutter, but it really surprised me. Paul Bettany is so very good in this, and it made me cry. Easy way to get on high on this list is to make me cry lol.

05. Children of the Sea

This film had to be in my top 5 because I'm an animation nerd and this is one of the most beautiful animated films ever. Ever. It's right up there with Akira and the Ghibli catalogue, and the works of Satoshi Kon, and all the Disney movies and everything else. It focuses on details and nuances in a really gorgeous way. The story is VERY ambiguous and gets very metaphysical towards the end, the climax is like watching an acid trip. It's about a girl who meet 2 young boys who have adapted to living underwater, and they form a bond, and then... uh... there's no way I can concisely explain it. The creator has said it's not supposed to be understood logical, instead it's supposed to be felt. There's a lot of symbolism and metaphor, it's very philosophical and explores themes of connection and the cycle of life. It's produced by Studio 4°C, which is my favorite animation studio because they really push the envelope, they're responsible for Mind Game, Tekkonkinkreet, and the recent Mutafukaz, and other, if you've never heard of any of those definitely look them up, they're unlike any anime you've ever watched before. Anyway, beautiful movie and the cryptic plot allows for you to rewatch it multiple times and take different things away from it. I can't wait to own it on blu-ray.

04. 37 Seconds

I saw this very early in the year and love it. It's about a young woman with cerebal palsy who is also an aspiring hentai artist trying to get laid. Her mother who takes care of her like a child smothers her, so it's not only about trying to get laid but trying to have some independence. Firstly the performance of this woman who actually does have cerebral palsy and is a first time actor is so natural and endearing, secondly there are things they portray with an uncomfortable amount of realism and awkwardness that it really draws you in to the nitty gritty of her reality and what it can be like for someone who is wheelchair bound to try to have sexual experiences. I like that there were 2 films this year about characters in wheelchairs that used unknown actresses that face the same things their characters do, it adds to the authenticity of either film. Films like this are why I think diversity in film is not just about doing something for the demographic you're depicting but also giving everyone else not of that demographic new unique stories and perspectives.

03. Soul

I guess spoilers if you haven't seen this because it's easier to talk about why I liked it if I talk specifically about the plot. I wasn't expecting much from this when the initial trailer dropped, it made it seem like it was going to largely take place in this imaginary soul place with these blue things, and for most of the first act it seemed like that's what it was going to be, but when they come back to earth and the story really starts I really started enjoying it. This movie tricks you into thinking the film is about finding or fulfilling your purpose, only to throw a curveball that living life in and of itself is the "purpose", and this movie resonated so much with thoughts that were already on my mind. I relate so much to Joe as a creative person myself with so many unfulfilled dreams, at 36yrs old, having to put many of my goals on the backburner just to survive, and generally having that feeling that I'm still waiting to live life because I'm not fulfilling my "purpose". Sure reaching for goals is great, but I think our culture breeds this idea that happiness is a destination, an accomplishment, a certain amount of recognition, a monetization of your passion. I really loved how the film depicted that there's a dark side to focusing on your passions and how it can become a source of stress and unhappiness. This movie is just about savoring life itself, which people have been expressing through platitudes since forever but this film illustrated it in a way that words fail at, and that's what makes film such a great form of art.

02. Sound of Metal

This movie had one of the best trailers of 2020, I couldn't wait to watch this movie. FIrst of all I love RIz Ahmed and think he's an underrated and underutilized actor, he's fucking amazing in this, he needs an Oscar nom FOR SURE. His frustration is so palpable and he feels so natural in this movie. It follows a metal punk drummer who loses his hearing and goes to stay in a deaf community to acclimate. One thing I think is absolutely brilliant about this movie is the sound design. I'm not deaf so I can't speak from any type of experience, but they try to replicate what going deaf sounds like, what the audiologist tests sound like, what hearing aids and cochlear implants sound like, it's very immersive. I almost think of it like a companion piece to Soul, cause I had almost the same take away, it's just coming from it at a different angle.

01. I'm Thinking Of Ending Things

Okay, so I’m going to have a lot to say about this movie.

Maybe a very controversial pick for my number one because so many people absolutely hated this movie, lol. I am biased given that I'm a huge fan of Charlie Kaufman, he's my favorite screenwriter, and his films have only gotten weirder and weirder, so I know to expect the unexpected when going into one of his films. I can understand how this would be an offputting experience if you're expecting the conventions of normal narrative structure. It was surprising and perplexing to me how this film unfolded but I've watched non-narrative and experimental films before so I was intrigued rather than frustrated. You think it's about a woman who is thinking of breaking up with her boyfriend as they head to meet his parents. Once we get to his childhood home things start getting surreal, and that surrealism just escalates to the point where you realize this film is not at all attempting to depict reality and doesn't even have any continuity. This is the most a movie has ever felt like one of my dreams. I don't know how other people dream but this was so much like every weird nightmare I've ever had where I feel trapped in a situation.

There's a scene where the family is talking about art, the dad says he hates abstract art because it takes no skill, he prefers paintings that look like photographs because that takes real skill, the son asks why make a painting look like a photograph when you can just take a photograph, the woman states she paints pictures of landscapes and tries to imbue them with a sense of interiority, capturing the way she feels, the dad asks how can a landscape be sad if you don't have a person in it looking sad. I felt like this was a bit of meta commentary on the film itself. After I watched this movies I had my own theories, I watched some analysis videos on youtube that confirmed a lot of my ideas and gave me insight on other parts of the film, I watched the film again and formulated more ideas, it's so dense with things to project meaning onto and interpret it. I went on instagram and ended up having lengthy discussions about what the film meant both with people who loved it and hated it. Everybody I spoke with had slightly different interpretations and takeaways. One woman who initially did not like it came away with an appreciation for it after we had a lengthy discussion about it's meaning.

All of this is why it's my favorite film of the year, not only did I relate to it on a personal level because I'm in a stage of my life where I'm approaching middle ages and afraid I'm going to end up like the guy in this film, but I can't remember the last time a film led to such meaningful conversation about life, death, love, mental health, loneliness, trauma, etc. So like the scene where they're talking about art, I think this movie is neither intended to be abstract or realistic, it's supposed to be imbued with a sense of interiority. I know I sound way pretentious right now, but I just really appreciated Charlie Kaufman for making something unabashedly expressionist and serving it up to mainstream audiences. I really feel like I grow as a person and an artist every time I watch one of his films.

------------------------------------------------

So there ya go. That’s it. That concludes this arbitrary exercise in ranking the movies i saw last year, thank you for wasting your time on this, lol. I think it was a very good year for movies.

If there was a movie you were expecting to see on the list and it’s missing I just didn’t get to it in 2020, I may do an unranked follow up list of 2020 movies I missed in 2020, maybe.

That’s it.

End of post.

Bye.

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sometimesrosy · 5 years

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Part 1 I've yet to understand why bellarke shippers hate b*cho so much. Like, to me, the fact that it exists is the only proof I need to know that bellarke will get together. I mean if the writers really wanted to put an end to bellarke once and for all they would've picked raven, not echo, as a romantic partner for bellamy after the time-jump. Raven is a fan favorite, and she was already in a love triangle in which a guy chose Clarke over her.

Part 2 Plus, Raven and Bellamy were friends before the timejump and they had even slept together once. So they would've made much more sense than b*cho. But the writers knew that if they had done that, bellarke would've been off the table. So they went for b*cho instead.

I totally agree with you. B/R would have been a death knell for bellarke or a tragedy for raven. B/E is the perfect choice to push Bellarke into an acknowledged romantic relationship. Notice, I don’t say “canon,” because I think Bellarke IS canon, in the way that Elizabeth and Darcy are the canon relationship in Pride and Prejudice even though they were not together or official until the very end of the book.

And I think THAT is the difficulty fandom is having with B/E vs Bellarke. Because they are not looking at the story being told as a crafted work of art, intended to convey something intentional. Instead, they are looking at it more as a game in which one side wins and one side loses, like football.

The narrative is a narrative that tells Bellarke’s long, arduous, tumultuous, complex journey towards being TOGETHER. (And together has been the theme since season 1, and it is represented IN CANON, as Clarke and Bellamy uniting.) Over the course of the show, being “together” has gotten more and more romantic every season, while holding off on giving the audience the resolution of kiss/confess/sex and I’m gonna add one more quality to that audience canon representation. Marriage. Because it is possible that marriage is on the table.

Why? BECAUSE the main story, the underlying story to the whole thing, is the Bellarke love story. And making B/E a canon relationship, and yet denying it development or story on screen, is a clear cut sign that Bellarke is a committed story.

Why?

Because B/E has been used as a COMPARE AND CONTRAST to Bellarke as a romance since the moment it became canon, when B/E being together was set up as a shock after watching Clarke alone and longing for Bellamy to come home. 5.01. B/E has ONLY had story that served to further OTHER storylines, Bellarke, the Blakes, Missions, wars, forgiveness. And if it focuses on either Bellamy or Echo, we have seen that neither Bellamy NOR Echo are getting what they need from the relationship.

You simply can’t tell a romance story without TELLING THE ROMANCE STORY. Therefore, B/E is a romantic obstacle to the romance story that IS being told. That is Bellamy and Clarke finding their way back to each other, now as a main plot line.

SO WHY do the bellarkers never seem to recognize B/E as a STANDARD romantic obstacle in the COMMON love triangle trope? This has always confused me because we get this story in fanfic all the time. I myself have written Echo as part of a love triangle and I did it before s5 too. Since s2, actually. So why are we ignoring the completely romantic trope of the love triangle and instead hating B/E so much? When it really isn’t so terrible a relationship, it’s just not the RIGHT one?

I have to go back to the football game analogy.

They have teams. Bellarke vs B/E. Bellarke is THEIR team. B/E is the enemy. Any points the enemy gains is an assault on their their team. Therefore they hate B/E and they hate the fans of B/E. When B/E has the ball, that’s all they see. And they only count certain narrative evidence as points.

Now if they saw the story the way I look at it (and you too it seems) they would realize that certain things, like a forgiveness scene, “go save clarke,” the cinematography, cuts, music, constant b/e bickering, the jeaousy scene followed by the b/e fight scene, B’s grief, characters saying B cares more about C, The scenes with B and Josephine, bringing Clarke back with his love, even a b/e hug scene where his attention goes back to Clarke, and a final bellarke hug-- all these things add up to points in a Bellarke love story, and they overhwelm the B/E evidence of 5.01, Bellamy fighting for E against O, B/E goodbye scene, war comrades, “who knows forgiveness like us,” and bellamy saying he is forgetting the past (clarke we assume) when echo tells him, finally, about her family dying, and he seems to recommit to Echo... although it then switches to Clarke in danger and all his attention goes to Clarke from then on so I’m not sure we can count that. But that’s the thing. When you’re playing football with the story, you take things out of context, and for some reason, fandom seems to think that if you can convince others that a scene means nothing (Octavia’s “another traitor who you love”) then it doesn’t count.

The way they count points in the shipwars is to find out who can make the most persuasive tweet/post about their ship. And if they can manage to make people doubt what they saw on screen by rewriting the story to fit their headcanon, then they win.

Convincing people that what they see with their own eyes is a lie/delusion is actually called gaslighting.

We see Bellarke happening on screen, but certain antis convince us we are delusional, or being baited, or things like narrative structure, cinematography, themes are made up things that don’t exist.

Some people believe the gaslighting. They’d rather have a fanwar or believe that JR hates them personally, and have someone to be angry at than... idk... enjoy a show that did not go in the predictable direction they thought it would?

They hate B/E because of the points (kiss/confess/sex.) Because of the shipwars. Because some people try to gaslight us and this makes them angry and they take it out on a character? Because they’re afraid to allow B/E to be valid because of those antis who say it’s real and endgame. IDK. I think that B/E can be both valid and NOT endgame. Maybe because being outraged is the way they fangirl. And so they need to be FURIOUS at someone in order to work up the passion they want to feel, in order to feel like they are part of the in group, someone has to be in the outgroup. (You can actually WATCH as some fans, when their previous enemy (CL? CL fans? remember them?) is vanquished, have to search around for a new enemy. Sometimes they pick another fan (some people picked me as their enemy as soon as CLs went away even though I refused to play,) sometimes they pick the writers, sometimes they pick another character or ship. These are the ones I call antis. They are not so much fans OF a thing they love, but a group of people defined by who and what they hate. The thing that ended my commitment to fandom was when the bellarke fans decided BELLARKE was the thing they hated. I just couldn’t deal with that, as they decided that their headcanon was the REAL bellarke, and what we saw on screen was a betrayal. Me. I liked the story. Still do. And like it better than the headcanons at this point which tend to be more simplistic and trite.

It’s all a mess, frankly. And because there are so many different perspectives on the show and fandom, it’s probably best to not look for ONE answer. There are different subcultures within the fandom culture, after all, and within that, different people have different experiences and responses.

In order to understand how the fans are reacting to the story we have to understand the culture and psychology of fandom, and that is rather complex. And different for many people. I like to understand why people think what they thing, but in the end, I just have to stick to the text and continue to analyze canon without being influenced by fandom which seems to me to often be to WAY off base.

#the 100 fandom #antis #it's exhausting #also people don't like when i analyze their own actions because they think they're the only ones allowed to be critical #and they think their behavior and choices are pure and not now part of social media #another text to be analyzed #psychology sociology cultural anthropology #all ways to understand human behavior and honestly not that different from literary analysis

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cowboyruckus · 4 years

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this isn’t really a headcanon, but i don’t have an appropriate banner for like... observations or meta. and i will say here and now that the only person i will ever ship echo with is dorie. cuz i know she’ll give it the respect and care it deserves that the show really hasn’t. there is one thing that really unsettles me about echo and really liz in general and i’m starting to figure out what that thing is. it’s that she has 100% total control in her relationship with max. and honestly a female partner in a heterosexual relationship having control is obviously not inherently a bad thing. it’s a really really good thing when it means that both partners are on equal footing. but there is a horrific power imbalance here where liz ortecho has all of it, and max evans has none. none at all. he’d jump off a cliff if she mentioned the rocks looked cool at the bottom, and it’s very unhealthy. but max and liz have never been on equal footing. he has been completely at her mercy since they met when they were children. the thing is that he’s given her his power willingly. he’s let her control his entire life, even after she leaves him behind after rosa’s death. i mean think about it. did max have any plans after high school? not really. he wanted to write. maybe write a book. but that’s pretty vague and not much of an ambition. he’s pretty much coasting the entire time because ALL of his focus is on liz or to a lesser extent on michael and isobel. but the very minute it starts looking like liz might return some of his feelings all of a sudden he’s going to ‘follow her anywhere’ and do whatever she wants to do. he’s going to make her plans his for the foreseeable future. and the show frames this with the new mexico sunset and novo amor in the background as this really sweet and romantic thing, but really what they’ve done for two seasons is make max’s entire character completely dependent on liz ortecho.

max has codependent tendencies. you can see it with isobel, and you can see it with liz. he gets this really unhealthy attachment to people he’s close to, up to and including sacrificing his own life, his sanity, his safety for something that might bring a moment of happiness and completely disregarding the FAR REACHING consequences of that action. ie. rosa’s resurrection. was that a good idea for anyone? absolutely not. but he wasn’t thinking about that. he was thinking that he wanted to make liz happy, and that blinded him to all of the second and third order effects that would occur from bringing a 19 year old drug addict back to life after 10 years in a town that hated her. and then in season 2 we get all these little instances of liz exerting control over his life like, NUMERO UNO, BRINGING HIM BACK TO LIFE AFTER HE EXPLICITLY ASKED NOT TO BE BROUGHT BACK!!!!! like idk about you but i think the issue of consent is very much ignored here and it makes me uncomfortable. i wanted max back as much as anyone but she was grasping at straws looking for reasons to ignore what he said he wanted. he even pulled his own life support plug and she didn’t get the message. because she wanted him back. didn’t care what he wanted. didn’t care that she’d spent almost the entirety of the time they’ve known one another giving him signals that she does not want him (that’s another thing that bothers me, that for almost 20 years she has looked at and treated him as nothing more than her friend and it was only after she figured out her high school boyfriend was a massive dick after god knows how long that she decided she’d give max a go). no, what max wants has never ever mattered to her. we get her bossing him around over his health because he’s letting her scold him for drinking coffee with caffeine and gasp exercising!!! we get her scolding him for trying to protect people which is the literal only thing he’s ever expressed any real passion and ambition for (the writing thing doesn’t count, he talks about it but never really does it besides his journaling). we get her stealing his and noah’s dna WITHOUT PERMISSION OR CONSENT AGAIN to conduct alien science experiments, but this time it’s not just to be used on other aliens, she’s planning on using her miracle drug on a human person who has no idea aliens exist, which. why? the random nobody character the cw added just so liz could try to market alien cure-alls behind max’s back and in spite of the risk to him and his family? she repeatedly minimizes his concerns about his alien business even though in reality it has absolutely nothing at all to do with her, like scolding him again for being open and honest with her about how he feels having his sister isobel stripped away from him in the span of a few hours (and btw she was the only thing that kept him sane and any form of ok while they were growing up, her love was the only thing he had to hold onto and now it’s gone) because ‘ur not alone, i’m right here!!!!!’ like that wasn’t simply not true for 20 years. i mean come on, he wasn’t even one of her best friends he was literally the guy she rebounded on when she had a bad day. she used him to make her feel better and never provided him any kind of support or affection in return because it was obvious he was hopelessly in love with her and would do whatever she needed without question. and then she scolds him again for being upset about her conducting secret alien experiments WITH HIS DNA SHE DIDN’T HAVE HIS PERMISSION TO USE becuz ‘it’s not gonna fall out of my hands!’ liz. babee. you idiot. i know you know that’s not how that works. i know you know you can’t possibly guarantee that you can protect him if you expose his secrets to a world that isn’t ready for them. i know you know that. so how dare you try to make him out to be the bad guy because he’s rightfully afraid of how HIS FAMILY will be tortured when they are discovered because of your reckless, careless handling of their lives. we all know how the aliens were treated at caulfield. that’s what will happen to them if you let his dna that you stole get loose. and trust me, you won’t have a choice. someone will take it from you. but really the root of all this is that max allows elizabeth ortecho to bulldoze him, to talk over him, to dictate how he feels and what he does and how he conducts himself because he’s obsessed with her in an unhealthy way. and she encourages it. she allows it. and she makes it worse. he’s codependent on his sister, he’s codependent on liz. but the thing about isobel is that she’s codependent on him too. liz isn’t. she makes it very clear that she is fully capable of functioning on her own as an independent person without his support. which is perfectly fine and healthy for anyone, but he is incapable of doing the same. and she doesn’t make any effort to help him do this. instead, she exacerbates his dependence on her by gaslighting him and taking advantage of his submissive nature and keeping him out of the loop on decisions she makes regarding HIS medical issues (the alien killing serum. the dna experiments to cure hospital girl). do i think she does this on purpose? no. do i think she even realizes she’s doing it? no. but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s being done and it’s really starting to make me uncomfortable. because max has displayed time and again how far he’s willing to go for liz ortecho, but liz ortecho hasn’t yet displayed to me how far she’s willing to go for max evans. she’s displayed how far she’s willing to go for liz ortecho. she didn’t bring him back for him. she brought him back for her.

#headcanon.#meta.#delta observes #i'm really starting to turn into an anti echo person #because the power imbalance is so real it's gross.#and y'all are ignoring it the same damn way y'all ignored how alex yanked michael around #all of season 1 #just to get mad at him for sleeping with a woman instead in season 2 #i see ur biphobia and it's also gross #if i were brave i'd put this in the character tags but i won't #cuz it won't change anything #this got really long and really rambly but echo is gross and unhealthy and i don't like it #*canon echo #i'm gonna write it better

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pickledchickenetti · 5 years

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I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye documentary

Tonight I finally watched the documentary I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye. This documentary, released last fall, is about Joshua Harris admitting that he no longer supports the courtship model he pushed in his book I Kissed Dating Goodbye and the followup, Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship. The first book, released just over twenty years ago, was released when he was an unmarried 20 year old, and the second was released three years later after he got married. A week and a half ago he and his wife announced they were getting divorced, and two days ago he announced that he no longer considers himself a Christian. I hesitated to write about the documentary given that he’s seemingly done more soul-searching since then, but I decided to share my thoughts on the documentary with a disclaimer that (unless otherwise stated) these thoughts are not about any of his beliefs that have changed since then. The process of leaving a faith system that ran your life up until then is not an easy process, and even if it often turns out to be a good thing, I still don’t wish that struggle on anyone. It’s a painful process full of soul-searching, and when you finally come out on the other side you’re met with people claiming you never truly believed anyway, which is a huge slap in the face. Coupling that with divorce must make it even harder, and I hope he seeks the help he needs and is able to pick up the pieces, move on, and build a new and happy life for himself.

That being said, I really disliked his documentary. I will admit that I had heard mostly negative things about it beforehand. While I tried my best to go in with an open mind so I could form my own opinions, I did go in knowing that a lot of people whose opinions I respect took issues with it. Now that I have watched it, I can see the basis for a lot of those issues.

Early on in the documentary, we see a conversation between Joshua and his wife Shannon where they talk about the fact that they fell and love and married after the book was already popular, which forced them to adhere to the standards it outlined. At one point in this conversation the two of them laugh at why anyone would listen to marriage advice from an unmarried twenty year old. It’s a fair argument, and one that my friends and I had already mentioned earlier in our viewing. In the context it was presented, however, it almost seemed to set the tone for the rest of this documentary. Joshua pretty regularly expressed sentiments about how his book hurt people, only to turn around and give some sort of but. This book hurt a lot of people BUT they didn’t have to take my advice. A lot of folks felt it really damaged their lives BUT they could have just stopped reading. Many of my beliefs at that time maybe weren’t the greatest BUT it was other people’s fault for taking them too far. At no point in this documentary did I feel that he truly felt he was to blame for the hurt that others felt.

In the months since I heard he had changed his beliefs and made this documentary, I have often questioned how much he should be held responsible for the effect his book has had on the last couple generations of kids raised in the church. It’s true that other people took the book to a much bigger place than he likely expected at twenty years old. And he and his wife were right in expressing the absurdity that anyone would listen to an unmarried twenty year old’s marriage advice. A lot of us wouldn’t even listen to a married twenty year old’s marriage advice. But does that absolve him of any and all blame? I’m honestly still not sure what I feel on this subject.

What I do think is that this documentary did more harm than good. If he had simply come out and said “I understand that my book has done a lot of harm. I know longer believe in many of the things I wrote twenty years ago, and the book will no longer be printed. I hope all of those who were victimized by the things I wrote and said are able to find the help they need and move on” I would likely feel differently about him than I do now. All I saw from this documentary was a man pretending to apologize by placing the blame elsewhere. No one called for him to apologize, he offered it. Then instead of a real apology he gave the typical gaslighting apology of “I’m sorry if you felt hurt by my actions” which does not mean at all the same thing as “I’m sorry for my actions”. If he had never given a fake apology I wonder if I would have even felt that he needed to apologize, but because he did, I do.

The other day I posted screenshots of tweets from Elizabeth Esther, a writer who was one of the interviews featured in the documentary. In a TED Talk, Joshua Harris cites a twitter conversation with Elizabeth as the starting point for his change of beliefs on the contents of his book. In her tweets, she says she regrets her participation in the documentary, as he did not seem to truly have changed his beliefs and edited things in ways that took her words out of context to make himself look good. She directly says “I feel used” in her tweets, and I feel for her. I paid special attention to her interview, and can understand why she might not like the way it was cut. I’d love to see the unedited interview. The sentiments expressed in her tweets almost directly contrast her message of forgiveness expressed in her blog post on the subject a year earlier, which was written in response to their initial interactions on Twitter. Knowing he was pulling that sort of editing trick less than a year ago does make me question his motives in being open about his faith journey in the time since.

I want to believe he is genuine in all of this, and that he’s sharing this as a way to be encouraging. But for whatever reason I can’t shake the nagging doubt that he is the first of many who will say what they need to say to capitalize on the exvangelical movement that’s currently taking off on Twitter and in blogs. One thing that stands out to me in particular is that his recent post included his affirmation for the LGBTQ community and the fact that that post went up pretty shortly after Elizabeth Esther’s tweet saying he directly said to her that he didn’t affirm LGBTQ folks blew up on twitter. (An old tweet from December, yes, but a couple key exvangelical leaders on Twitter recently retweeted it.) I hope that in the time since he released the documentary he has come to feel differently. But in the documentary, which came out less than a year ago, he said folks who have acted on their same sex attractions “need to deal with that with God” before moving onto the next steps. I’m always wary to believe when people make a complete 180 on this subject very quickly because I am gay myself and it still took me years to shake off the negative opinions on LGBTQ folks that I was raised with. (I fully acknowledge that perhaps being gay myself makes it harder to do that 180 because it’s not just this concept you’re trying to stop hating but a part of yourself. I don’t know if that means straight folks can come around so much faster or not but I struggle to accept that it happens in the matter of months.)

A friend asked me this afternoon if I had even read I Kissed Dating Goodbye, which made me realize that I’m not actually sure. While I know I grew up very aware of it and the message it preached, I was given a lot of purity culture books and materials as a teen and I now have a hard time distinguishing which ones I did and didn’t read. For that reason, I am considering going in and reading it in the near future just so that it’s fresh on my mind and I can have a clear idea of exactly what is in that book in particular. I have a feeling that Joshua Harris and his journey is a subject that will still be relevant for awhile to come and I don’t like to share too many opinions on a subject without being as informed as possible. (I likely won’t post a long post about my thoughts when I do that simply because I don’t expect my opinions on purity culture to change much from re-reading an old book.)

As someone who grew up in purity culture, this documentary just seemed condescending. He expressed the sentiment that “no one was forcing anyone to read this book” multiple times, only to finally admit closer to the end that “maybe some people were forced by their parents”. He regularly expressed that the reason his book became so harmful because of the way other people chose to use it, which doesn’t take ownership of the fact that he still was the one who gave them that tool. There were other books on the subject, sure, but none quite as well-known as his. And that makes him a leading voice on the subject, whether he wants to be or not.

#I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye #Joshua Harris

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