#but I *still* do more work than a lot of folks here and get goddamn nothing for it

[woodscreature]

fuck me I do NOT want to job hunt again. but my job is giving me less and less hours and keeps passing me over for shit

[leiflitter]

More

Hello from Blighty thoughts about Saltburn

As a continuation from my reply to @armands-eyefuckery because BRAIN

Aight gang let's have a lil sit down because there is a big ol angle to the film that I think is getting missed by a lot of folks who aren't from the UK because it's a very uh...

British Thing.

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT OLIVER IS FROM THE NORTH.

Cut because Length.

Now look. I am not going to go into Thatcher and Her Crimes, but it's worth a google. I do bring it up in You're Almost Home because...

Lots of people are saying Oliver is upper middle class, and honestly? That doesn't track for me. At all. Yes, his parents have a detached house in a nice suburb and they went on holidays, but there's a lot of Very British Context to them that I really want to point out. Also remember, it's 2006/2007. That is also important.

First of all- Oliver's parents probably never went to University.

Really listen to them. How gullible they are- they believe that Oliver can study at Oxford, and be on the rowing team, and be in plays, and be top scholar. He's always been so clever. If Oliver was anything near upper middle class, his parents would be educated professionals. Oliver probably has dockworkers not even three generations back- his dad has management vibes, but he probably worked his way up in the 70s when all you needed was a good attitude and not to be an obvious murderer.

Secondly- let's talk about the house.

As someone from Down South who has also lived Up North, Oliver's Parent's house would not have been as expensive as people think. Let's assume they bought it in the 1980s- we ALL know that house prices are through the roof NOW, but even today there is a huge gap between house prices in the south and the north. 200k down South might get you a one bedroom flat, if you're lucky. 200k in Prescot can get you a 4-bed, semi-detached HOUSE. Check rightmove.

It is also important that the house is relatively new-looking, because over here Upper Middle Class people aren't really into new build houses- if Oliver was upper middle class, he'd be living in something Victorian or Edwardian. Probably somewhere with a good link to London, especially in 2007. It also means that Oliver's parents may not have even bought it outright- my parents got on the housing ladder via a shared ownership scheme. Oliver's parents aren't rich.

Now, the holidays. Mykonos. Another fun Brit thing is the package holiday. Here's a pretty interesting article about them;

Two adults and three kids could absolutely have gone to Mykonos every year in the late 80s/90s for far less than you'd expect, especially if they paid in installments each month.

I also mentioned about Ollie being from Merseyside specifically, but again. CONTEXT. Although Oliver isn't Liverpudlian (it's important, he's from NEAR Liverpool but not Liverpool itself) the North of England as a whole has routinely been fucked over by those in power. The government AND the royals and the very wealthy. It's still ongoing today- again, another fun source.

Remember when Mr Eats-Crunchies-Sideways called him a Bootlicker? That's fucking IMPORTANT. To many folks he IS a bootlicker. He is highly unlikely to have been raised to grovel at the feet of those with hereditary titles and wealth, and honestly he doesn't. I've written before about how Oliver Denies Felix Things and how that dynamic is important. Oliver likely hasn't been raised with any real deference to The Rich (except Princess Diana).

It also effects Oliver's response to Felix, because goddamn it THATCHER again- it is HIGHLY likely that Oliver has lived through a lot of homophobia. Internalised a lot of it. Felix's parents do not give a shit, but that was not the norm. Again, tried to hit on it in YAH, because times have changed since the 90s/2000s and people change with them, but no fuckin wonder Oliver never responded to Felix chirpsing him like a maniac. He's fucking REPRESSED when he's in Oxford, pals. It also makes sense with that weird Tumblr Dom shit he pulls; he's still fuckin weird about it, he's just being In Charge so he doesn't need to be vulnerable in any way. He is only vulnerable for Felix, and even then he can't SHOW felix that, that would be gay.

Leiflitter over'n'out

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Valentine's Day Special

I did it! I got it finished! As a thank you to everyone who has given kudos and comments, and because Valentine's Day is coming up, here's a smuterific one-shot featuring: pegging, butt stuff, Astarion having feelings, Eleanor has dom tendencies she didn't know about, and Astarion getting nice things!

Rated a very, very E for smut.

Roses are red, violets are blue, blah blah I’d like to fuck you.

Or: Astarion bought a toy. Eleanor wants to give him a night he won’t forget.

“Legs up,” he says. “Pull your knees up. Better leverage.” You do. He leans back, bracing his hands on your knees. Moving himself so you hit his sweet spot ruthlessly. Another peek at you, pleasure painted over every line of his body. “Fuck me, Eleanor.”

The inn is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. Two stories, shutters closed against the torrent, lantern light turning puddles and muddy streets golden.

You’re going to cry. Not that anyone will be able to tell in this storm. Poor Karlach has been hidden in a cloud of steam since the downpour began.

“Gods, I’m not taking another step unless it’s towards the front door of that inn,” Astarion says, voice pitched firmly into bitchy. “I am not slogging through one more minute of this filth.”

Filth being the inches-deep trough of mud the road has turned into. Y’all are coated up to the knees.

“A warm bed and a warmer bath would be nice,” Wyll says. And if Mr. Of-the-Frontiers “I’m used to sleeping on rocks” is saying that, you know everyone is thinking it.

“Fuck,” you say. Eloquent as ever. “We got gold, right?”

“Plenty,” Gale says. His hair keeps sliding over his face in rivulets of water. He looks like a sad, wet cat.

“Hope they got rooms.”

They have, in fact, got a packed-ass seating area, a handful of alcove bunks in a common area upstairs, and a single, small room with a modest bed (other travelers had the same idea when the storm hit).

Y’all’ve had a helluva day. Chasing down leads to some sort of bullshit or another. Half of y’all ain’t even here (Shadowheart, Lae’zel, Halsin, and y’all’s new friends had split off to go hunt down something else).

Which meant when y’all triggered a bunch of undead critters in the shitpile of some tomb, y’all had to do a lot more work to clean up. Astarion took the brunt of it after the two of you (again) got separated from the others.

He stands there, hair plastered to his skull, not an ounce of pink in his complexion (and looking grayer than usual). That’s when the idea comes to you.

“Y’all mind if me and Astarion take the room?” you say.

Ain’t no way to be subtle about it. They all know what you two are about. Especially since that goddamn newspaper came out (it wasn’t neither of y’all’s fault the fucking graveyard grounds keeper was a nosy sunuvabitch who both took his job way too seriously, and took off sprinting to the Faerun equivalent of a tabloid newspaper after catching a glimpse of you.) (You’d finished by then, which was probably the only reason Astarion hadn’t run him down and shut him up.)

They’ve known you two were a couple for a long while. They’d assumed you two had been physical for longer than you actually had been.

“Really?” Karlach says, still steaming. “After all this?”

Astarion says nothing, though his eyebrows quirk in mild interest. The bags under his eyes are more prominent, the color almost bruise purple. His eyes are duller. He looks more corpserific than he has in a while.

You started it, he seems to say. So you finish it.

“I just wanna take a bath and lay in bed, and all my clothes gotta dry,” you say. “We both’ve seen each other naked.”

Clever mischief glints in Wyll’s eye. He’s the most solid out of all of you’uns. The one with the most rigorous sense of morality. Usually plays the straight-laced folk hero.

But the man’s damned charming, and his genial good will hides a wicked sense of humor.

“All the bunks have privacy screens,” he says. “We’ll all be drying out our belongings.”

Gale says nothing. Just stares into the middle distance as he hikes up a section of robe to wring about a liter of water out.

Wyll makes a show out of checking out the common room and y’all’s fellow travelers. “In fact, I see other couples doing just that.”

“I’m not saying we’re gonna fuck, but if we do, you really wanna sleep right next to that?”

Wyll snorts and waves a hand, smiling. “On second thought, I think I’ll pass.”

Karlach pulls a face. “In public?”

“Y’all said they got privacy screens. And you didn’t have no problem walking around tits out during that heatwave.”

“Which beds did we get?” Gale cuts in. He used up even his much-improved magic capacity trying to get you and Astarion out of that fucking trap sinkhole. He can’t even do his presto-tation cleaning spell to dry himself off.

So you end up taking the key and heading upstairs, Astarion trailing after you.

Bath water is something you gotta pay for, in Faerun. The tub’s in the room, and you’re free to haul up however many buckets from the well outside yourself. But that’s a lot of buckets to drag up a flight of stairs, and the inn keep don’t let customers heat it up over the fire themselves.

So a good hour after you and Astarion settle in, you finally got a bath drawn and steaming.

“You go first,” you say.

Astarion sits on the bed in nothing but his drawers, wrapped in a blanket. He don’t get hypothermia—undead and all—but he does get real achy in the cold.

He gives you a small, tired smile, and lets the blanket (and his drawers) slide down.

You still ain’t super used to seeing a cock all bare. Not more than what your occasional forays into porn showed—so mostly just the part not currently buried in somebody. It hangs more forward than you thought it would. Also smaller than you thought it’d be (again, porn and both unrealistic standards, and flaccid ones are smaller).

You make yourself look away. But not before Astarion—ever alert and enough of a bastard to make that your problem—notices.

“See something you like, sweetheart?” Where once that line would have been pure, silken debauchery, his voice is calmer when he’s alone with you, now. Still carries a flirty lilt (he always does with everyone), but with less performance woven through it.

“Just curious,” you say. “And I like watching you—not creepily, I mean. Anyway, if you want a bath and then the bed—for sleeping only—I’m down for that.”

“Mmm,” he says. Steps into the water and hisses. He eases himself down slow. Finally sits and all but melts against the wedge of the wooden tub, eyes closed and head tilted back. “Yet you requested this little love nest for us. And that cunning mind of yours always has at least three ideas fluttering around.

Said with a wiggle of his fingers around his temple.

He’s got a long neck. Stretched out like that, his adam’s apple stands out. As do his bite scars.

“We really can just sleep,” you say.

Now he cracks one, red eye open. Tilts his head to better peer over at you. Swirls his hand in the water as he waits for an answer.

He’s being patient with you. Says you’re patient with him, but you can count on three fingers all the people you ever actually wanted to bed, and none of them ever got that far. It’s not an ordeal for you to wait. You don’t have any expectations for him in that department (which you suspect had been a huge relief for him, and one of the reasons y’all’ve worked out).

He does so much for you. He’s helped you work through hangups you didn’t even know you had. He’s saved your ass more times than you can count, directly and not.

“If you wanted,” you start slow. “And you can say no at any point. But, if you wanted, I thought we could take a night and I could learn, um. We could learn what you like better. Just you. Or, well, me focusing on you.”

His idle finger twirling stops. He stills, both eyes open now and fixed on you. He doesn’t say anything for a long moment. Doesn’t even breathe.

Then his lips part. His words stutter and he frowns. Then, “You want to give me pleasure.”

Every word slow and enunciated. Not…trepidation, exactly. And not quite disbelieving. He trusts you, he’d said. He’s just verifying for the sake of both’ve you.

“I’m curious,” you repeat, so deliberate and nonchalant it’s borderline teasing.

“Pleasure me how?” Astarion says. Once again, flicking at the bathwater.

Aaand the rest on AO3 so tumblr doesn't slap me.

[elliegoose]

Big mental health/life post, because i really wanna put this stuff down on the page and could use the feeling of being heard right about now.

in the summer because of some unfortunate stuff i moved halfway across the country to live with my parents. then some other stuff happened that ended up incidentally triggering some really extreme bipolar episodes--that's why i was in the psych ward a couple months ago and also why i took an unannounced hiatus from this blog for most of october--and ever since then i've been just... struggling kind of a lot.

i feel disconnected from my art, my sexuality, cooking, music, and most things that have been important to me. i don't feel the sense of home that i used to have out in texas. i'm anxious and down most of the time. i feel especially disconnected from the kink communities that used to be kind of the center of my online social life. this has been a particularly difficult emotional blow to endure and a particularly large reason why i've felt so awful.

in the past month, i've developed an inexplicable social anxiety that's horrible to deal with as someone who's normally very outgoing and who used to find socializing very easy. now, though, i'm often just filled with self-doubt and panic while trying to socialize with people, which is making it incredibly difficult to keep building the new friendships i've started to foster out here in my new city.

i'm just doing the best i can every day, attending my IOP program, applying the skills i've been learning there as diligently as possible, keeping up with my hobbies (for as disconnected as i feel from art i'm still doing quite a bit of it, and picking up the banjo has done so much to sustain what little of my mental health i still have), getting out into nature, going to a lot of fun events (drag shows, happy hours, full moon rituals, ttrpg/boardgame nights, furry meetups, folk musician meetups, etc.) and hanging out with the folks i meet there as often as i'm able even despite all my newfound social anxiety, but even with all that i'm just... persistently in emotional pain that i don't know how to effectively alleviate.

i know part of it is that i'm out of work, and i know having a job will give my life more structure, but i also know that's not the whole of what's happening here. i've been out of work before and it's not affected me this badly. it's also that i'm lonely, deeply unsure of myself after making some unwise decisions and having to face so many of my flaws, grappling with my disproportionate senses of shame, anxiety, and responsibility, yearning for more purpose and autonomy than i currently have, wanting to feel like i'm contributing to something larger than myself, and anxious after going through so much chaos and repeated disruption and loss.

i'm glad my IOP demands sobriety because it's been a struggle to not use alcohol as a crutch.

fucking... life. it's been a goddamn year for sure.

[funishment-rhyme]

Everyone Hates Monokuma Theater

It's Open Mic Night at Hope's Peak Academy in a universe without despair. Junko and Monokuma take the stage first, and they're terrible at comedy.

⭐ WORDS: ~1000 ⭐ TAGS...

CHARACTERS: Junko Enoshima, Monokuma, brief mentions of other characters

TIMELINES: Non-Despair/v3 Class 79 AU

TRIGGERS: mentions of serial killer activity

MISC: humor, Monokuma Theater

///

It was the first Saturday of the month, which meant Open Night Mic in the Hope’s Peak Academy gymnasium. It meant, too, an appearance from Junko Enoshima with her artificially intelligent robo-bear. Again.

Grinning, Junko took to the stage first, as always. She seated herself primly on the single stool there and adjusted the microphone in polite silence. Then, with the warm gaze of a mother, she watched as a stuffed bear toddled after her from the hallway and crawled into her lap. It was tubby and two feet tall and utterly silly in all respects, and she called it Monokuma.

Everyone at Hope’s Peak hated that thing, even if they loved Junko. Which they did.

///

Nonetheless, my friends, you could have drifted to the sky on the weight of the collective groaning once the audience saw the bear waddle in. The academy students had only just gathered around the tables scattered in front of the illuminated gym stage…and they already regretted it. Still, as teenagers, they were inexorably drawn to any activity that allowed them to sit unmonitored in the dark.

///

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu said: “This bullshit again. She some kinda Ultimate Ventriloquist now?”

“Ah, I believe we had one. And I believe he passed away last March,” Kirumi Tojo replied, setting a cola in front of Fuyuhiko. She gently placed a straw from her breast pocket into the drink. “By…fire, I think.”

“More like ashed away.” (That was Kokichi Ouma, his feet kicked up on a second chair across from the yakuza, his hands folded behind his head. No one listened to him much.)

“Goddamn.” Fuyuhiko rubbed his good eye. “We sure do have a lot of those here. Fires.”

“Schools are inherently flammable, I’m afraid,” Kirumi added, then disappeared into further serving duties.

“I said, more like ashed away—no? Anyone?” Kokichi scoffed, then tittered. “Man.”

///

But the students loved Junko, as I said. So they listened as Monokuma told its—his—joke:

“If you think about it, when you’ve got a critter in your house, even something as fluffy-uffy-uffy as a puppy, you just gotta trust they won’t bite you in the behind when you’re not looking. That’s why Lady Junko here never cooks for me—it’s not right for a girl to attend school with a hole in the back of her skirt, puhuhu.”

His voice sounded much like Junko’s, if Junko had ever decided to act in the most irritating children’s television program on earth.

“But really, folks, you can’t ever know what’s on an animal’s mind. Humans are animals, too. For my birthday this year, I got a book about usin’ body language to figure out who’s lyin’, and all those tips only worked once, on one person. Turns out, thoughts are like carbon monoxide: invisible, intangible, smelly as nothin’. There’s no tells! You don’t know anyone’s motives. That’s why Lady Junko here never cooks for me—I’d never know it, but she could poison my salmon dinner because she’s jealous, puhuhu.”

The gymnasium was silent, except for a single hoot from Kokichi Ouma.

“I also got a foreign comic about a serial killer. I’m on a true crime kick, what can I say?—and this serial killer was weird as all get-out when he was a kid. Cuddlin’ up to dead animals and watchin’ them suffer beforehand, that kind of thing. Terrible stuff. But no one ever thinks they’re besties with a murderer. That’s an idea bigger than the sky, y’know? And that’s why Lady Junko here never cooks for me—because she gets pie in the sky ideas, puhuhuhu.”

Junko feigned an eye-roll.

As for Monokuma: you might have expected his single red eye to gleam in the dark, but it didn’t. 

///

In fact—though I know you’re waiting for a heart-throbbing turn of events, my friends—there was nothing sinister about the situation whatsoever. Had you asked the students about it that night, you would have only gotten expressions of annoyance and confusion.

For example, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu had said, in a loud hiss: “What the fuck was that? What kind of fuckin’ waste of time—”

And Kokichi Ouma, half-asleep, whined to no one in particular: “I really, really hate stand-up, you guys.”

That kind of thing.

///

Once she had finished her atrocious murder-themed set, Junko’s very best friends, at least, clapped at the forefront of the audience for her. Well…after Sayaka Maizono goaded everyone into it with an encouraging look, anyway. 

Someone next to Sayaka leaned over to ask if she’d gotten the joke. Sayaka had not. Nor had anyone else.

///

They never would, either. Because Hope’s Peak loved Junko—because in this world, in this time, on this Saturday in early March, she loved it too. Loved them. That is to say: Junko liked to rile her classmates up like dogs, because she thought of them like dogs, but adored them like dogs, too. That is to say: she never thought to truly hurt them. That is to say: they had no reason to think she ever would.

Junko had seen a thousand possibilities as the Ultimate Analyst, and lived a thousand lives, in a sense. From her lofty position on stage, she stared out into the gently undulating ocean of gorgeous coed faces before her and knew that she could annihilate them completely. Shred their names from any and all records. Tear out every memory they had ever walked the earth. Kill them and blow their ashes away into the sea. All in the name of despair. 

She had seen it happen, in her imagination.

It had bored her.

Monokuma Theater, on the other hand, and the perplexed expressions it brought—that excited this Junko. She was nothing if not a tease, after all.

“Thank you, thank you,” said Monokuma, as he and Junko bowed before their classmates. “I’ll be here all week, and forever, for eternity.” He raised a paw to the crowd. “I’m an artificial intelligence and I can’t die. It’s hell. But at least I have you all, my pals—puhuhuhu.”

[symbioticsimplicity]

Tumblr, I have like...the weirdest question to ask you all. And I don't exactly know how to phrase it.

What...no, I think where exists the sexual being threshold for clowns?

See yeah no I don't know how to ask this, let's--

Here, visuals can only help us:

Here we've got these guys. They have all the classical halmarks of being a clown. Colorful face paint, big red nose, off-putting clashing outfit, the works. On most people's Sexy Meter or whatever, they're rating pretty low. Might even hit creepy for some folk.

But then we've got like, I dunno, this fuckin dude:

Definitely still a clown, and creepy as all hell arguably. But. BUT. There are plenty of people who want to fuck him, I know it, I've seen the fan art.

Could be the monsterfuckers I hear you say. You're probably right, but that's not the only flavor of clown I see folks wanting to get freaky with.

I think I've figured out my actual question now, the pictures helped.

How many clown traits can something have and still be sexy? And which ones are they??? And just maybe, what the fuck is it about a handful of clown traits that makes people lose their shit???

So. We have a baseline. Normal ass Bozo lookin headass clowns.

Now, lets shuffle to the far side of this horrible, horrible scale I need to make.

I would be remiss not to mention her for a question like this:

Arguably Harley has the least amount of clown traits while still being associated HEAVILY with clowns. Previous iterations of her have leaned harder into the clown theme, although she's more of a jester but fuck it same circus.

Regardless of her clown genus, Harley is arguably the best example of the Clown Sexiness cross over bullshit I'm talking about. She was also built with the intention of making her sexually appealing and she happens to have the least actual clown traits.

Now is that...related??

Recently I've been watching a lot of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss (which is probably what triggered this whole clown sexualization crisis nonsense). There are a LOT of characters in that series who resemble clowns heavily and are also still considered to be sexy.

On the lower end of the clown scale we have:

The Morningstars. Both Charlie and Lucifer’s faces resemble clown makeup strongly enough to immediately make one think of clowns. Lucifer is dressed like a fucking ringmaster and both of them are very silly MOST of the time. They're both considered attractive.

But then you've got these bitches:

They are VERY clown. Pretty sure they're based on clownfish even. They SING about being clowns.

Still hot!

But Symbi, I hear you groan, they're traditionally attractive women, of course people think they're hot. That's why. It overides the clown. That's it.

EXPLAIN. HIM.

This fucking dude is AGGRESSIVELY clown. He probably has the highest quotient of clown traits of the regular Helluva Boss cast. He's a weird little gremlin and I KNOW people want to fuck him real bad.

Is it because they've minimized the obtrusiveness of the clown? Moved away from the traditional and into stylization and thus transcended the barriers of clown? Is it cause they're all skinny and white?

I'd probably pack it up there with that as an explanation if I hadn't had to sit through THIS FUCKING DUDE taking over my dash for weeks:

I don't know a goddamn thing about One Piece but I know everyone was so fucking horny about this clown for...just a long ass while.

Now HE has even more prominent clown traits than anyone since Pennywise tbh. He's serving classic clown cunt like he's the last circus in Clown Town. Surely he should have been in the same camp as the baseline guys.

And yet. AND YET my very vivid memory of the fever dream that was watching a chunk of the internet simp for him tells me that's not the case.

So. Where the FUCK is the line?? Where do we stop wanting to fuck clowns? Why do we START wanting to fuck clowns?? Where in the god bedamned hell do ICP fall on this... clown fuckery scale. Please don't answer that one.

I don't know the answers to any of it. I just noticed that people find it sexy when people do the big lipstick with the points at the corners and that shit looks like stylized clown makeup. Now I'm drowning in clowns and questions.

Help.

[galvanizedfriend]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @kirythestitchwitch and @morningstargirl666 🤗

How many works do you have on ao3? 22! But I think I currently have two or three fics that are private because I keep meaning to rewrite and never get around to it.

What's your total ao3 word count? 1.617.205 😗

What fandoms do you write for? Currently only The Vampire Diaries/The Originals.

Top five fics by kudos: The Wolf (surprising no one, The Originals S1 rewriting), The Wolf II (surprising no one², The Originals S2 rewriting), Vice & Virtue (very surprising this has more kudos than TWIII lol, regency AU), The Wolf III (The Originals S3 and 4 rewriting) and The Sound of Settling (that time I committed coffee shop!AU).

Do you respond to comments? Yes! I try to always keep up with comments, but I get a little behind from time to time, especially with comments left on older fics. Sorry, folks 🥲 With WIPS, I tend to always reply to comments right before or immediately posting a new chapter.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Pendulum, for sure. The alternative ending is pure angst (and I love it very much, there's so much meaning and to me it's a perfect ending for that story).

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All the others lol All my fics have a happy ending, Pendulum is an exception.

Do you get hate on fics? Not so much anymore, though I did recently get a bitter anon here on tumblr. But yeah, I've received a lot of hate over the years.

Do you write smut? Occasionally, when I feel like the story asks for a smutty scene, but more often than not I go with the classic fade to black.

Craziest crossover: I've never written crossovers, though I have written lots of AUs inspired by other things (I forgot what those are called now).

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, I have. A while back this nutjob stole a bunch of fics and published them as originals on Amazon and The Wolf was among them. I got lots of comments from people warning me about it and I managed to get it taken down.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, I have! To Russian and Chinese.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have not, though it's a fun idea.

All time favorite ship? My favorite ship is always the current one and I've been stuck on Klaroline for a few years now. Those two idiots in love have my whole heart.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have so many. 🥲 I really wanted to give the TVD S5 rewrite a chance, but really don't think I have it in me to start something like that again.

What are your writing strengths? Oh boy. I suck at paying myself a compliment. But I've heard I write good action scenes? I don't know if it's true. Personally, I think I do a decent job of writing AUs, as in adapting canon aspects to other universes. I don't just plaster names on characters, I try very hard to make sure everything is still recognizable even in a totally different setting (then again, that's very subjective 😂).

What are your writing weaknesses? Wordiness. I am so freaking wordy, my stories are so goddamn long. I wish I could simplify my writing, shorten sentences, but alas. I have these ideas for writing exercises I would like to try with a couple of ideas I have, but I need to finish the ones I have started before I can jump into something else.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? If it's single words or short sentences, it's ok. I kinda like it even, but when it's full dialogues in languages I don't understand, it kind of loses me.

First fandom you wrote in? I think I wrote some semblance of fic when I was like 12 for Charmed, though I didn't even know that was fanfiction. But the first conscious fic I ever wrote was for Torchwood.

Favorite fic you've written? Pendulum. I think it's the most original and profound (lol) thing I ever wrote, it expresses many aspects of how I feel about KC. But I also really, really like The Unexpected Grace of Falling Apart. I LOVE romcoms and I think that story is everything I love in that genre, without being completely silly (in my opinion, ofc). Those two fics couldn't be more different if I wanted to, but one thing they have in common is the fact I spent years working on them.

Tagging @definedareasofuncertainty, @howlingmoonrise, @misssophiachase, @jinxedwood, @bettsfic, @bellemorte180, @marginally-accurate, @b-mina and @austennerdita2533!

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

another snippet... michelle happens to run into trent crimm on her visit to england, very briefly. (timeline? what timeline. i did not check a timeline)

(ao3.)

The man bumps into her, and then says, voice crisp and polite (she still isn’t used to the posh accents!), “Oh, sorry.”

He has long hair streaked in silver, and glasses, and he’s holding a little notebook and pen.

When he sees her, he blinks. “Oh,” he says, “Hello, I was just looking for your husband, actually. Trent Crimm, the Independent.”

“Ex-husband,” Michelle says, before she can stop herself, because it’s almost a relief to hear out loud.

The man’s—Trent Crimm’s—eyes widen with surprise, something almost like shock flashing over his face, and then he snaps his notebook shut.

“As a journalist,” he says, voice a little higher than before, “I didn’t hear that.”

Right. Fuck.

“Shit, sorry,” she says, “I should—I should watch my mouth, jeez, what am I thinking—”

“Don’t worry about it,” Trent Crimm says, almost gently, “You’re, ah. off the record. Divorce is—” he shuffles slightly, a little awkward, and then says, “it’s. hard.”

Ah. Seems like he might be speaking from experience. Part of her wants to say you too, huh? or try and talk to him, but—well, dumping this on a stranger in a pub would be a bad idea anyway, but she isn’t actually stupid. He’s a journalist, after all, and even though she thinks he seems sincere enough, she still probably shouldn’t say anything else.

“Yeah,” is all she says, a little glumly. “Um, anyway, I think—Ted’s over there?”

Trent Crimm’s eyes dart over to where she gestures, but then his lips tighten a little and he says, “I should probably go, actually. It was nice meeting you, Mrs. L—” he falters. “Um.”

“Michelle,” she says, smiling, a little amused and refusing to give him a last name to work with, because British folks were so funny about that.

Sure enough, he grimaces a little, but obliges her and says, “Michelle.”

He gives her a little half-smile and then ducks out, disappearing into the crowd.

She worries a little about the interaction, but—he seemed like a decent sort, right? So she doesn’t say anything to Ted just yet.

It’s only later when she goes back to her hotel room and Henry is asleep that she thinks to look the journalist up.

Naturally, the first thing she finds is a clip of him calling Ted a fucking joke on live TV.

Fuck.

“Ted,” she says, in an abrupt phone call too late in the night to be polite. “I might have messed up.”

“What?” Ted says immediately, a little panicked, “What happened, do you need me to—” there’s shuffling noises like he’s throwing himself out of bed to get dressed, and she says quickly, “no no no, just.”

He pauses, ready to listen, and she says, “I. I’m sorry, I mentioned our divorce to a reporter.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line.

“You… what?” Ted says, not sounding mad so much as baffled.

“I just—it just slipped out, I wasn’t thinking,” she said. “I know you’re under a lot more media scrutiny here, but he said it was off the record but that was after I said something and I—”

“Michelle, Michelle,” he said, “Hey. Hey, it’s alright, if it’s gonna be a big deal, they’re gonna find out anyway. Don’t you worry about a thing, alright?”

“I looked him up, though,” Michelle says, more distressed than she’d like to be, “He called you a fucking joke, if he already doesn’t li—”

To her surprise, Ted… laughs. Brightly, the genuine one and not the cheerful I’m-pretending-everything’s-fine one she’d grown to hate.

“Oh,” he says, and there’s a release of tension she hadn’t even realized was in his voice. “You talked to Trent.”

“You—what am I saying, of course you know him,” Michelle said.

“Trent’s fine,” said Ted, with a sort of cheerful finality. “If he said it was off the record, it’s off the record.”

“He literally called you a joke,” said Michelle, unimpressed. “On television. Oh, I shoulda given him a piece of my mind—”

Because while she wanted to divorce Ted for a reason, goddamn it, no one who called him a fucking joke on live TV was in her good books.

“He didn’t know me yet,” Ted said, like it was that easy, and she wondered if he was being too forgiving for his own good, like he always was. Sometimes it felt like he never stood up for himself at all, just let people hurt him. It could be exhausting.

“Here,” Ted said, “look up his first article on me. No, hang on, I’ll just send it to ya, it’s short.”

Sure enough, she fumbles to open her messages and Ted’s just sent her a link with a little smiley face. Once it might have made her smile. Now she just sighs and clicks the link.

It doesn’t take long to scan through the article; to reach the last line.

“Hm,” she says. “Not exactly glowing.”

“That,” Ted says, “from Trent, as far as I can tell, is about the same as Beard nodding his head.”

“Oh, wow,” she says, suitably impressed.

“Anyhoo,” he says, “I trust Trent to keep his word. If he said he wouldn’t say anything, he won’t.”

There’s something about how he says it, about that laugh he’d given when he’d realized, that makes her stop. This doesn’t feel like his usual—she’s pretty sure Ted at the very least actually likes this guy, which, well. despite Ted’s flaws, he isn’t actually stupid. And he’s a good judge of character.

“…alright,” she says. “I’m sorry for calling so late.”

“Hey, you can call me anytime,” he says, a little too sincerely, and something in her chest feels tight. We aren’t married anymore, part of her wants to snap, to remind him sharply, but she knows that isn’t fair, and she knows he’s well aware.

So she just sighs, and says, “Goodnight, Ted.”

And he says, “Goodnight. I—goodnight.”

And then the call ends, and she’s left staring at the ceiling.

It’s too painful to think about the divorce, about Ted, about what she’s going to do now, so instead, she lets her thoughts turn back to Trent Crimm.

Trent Crimm, who’d called her then-husband a fucking joke on TV, made the entire room laugh at him. Trent Crimm, who’d smiled awkwardly at her and said not to worry about it, that he understood how divorce could be. Trent Crimm who Ted apparently liked for real.

What a character. She’d have to keep an eye out.

(Years later, Trent Crimm will write an entire book about her ex-husband, and she’ll purse her lips and think ah. And then she’ll meet the man himself again, wide-eyed and blushing and very much in his pajamas—pulling a robe defensively over his bare chest—in Ted’s kitchen, and she’ll think, ahh.)

[fnaffersblog]

Alright take two.

Spoilers for the sun and moon show episode

the sun and moon episode RUIN Sun TRAPPED Moon in VRCHAT LOLOLOLOL See link above

It's late and EVERYTHING is funny

(Trigger Warning Below Cut for: discussions of violence [Bloodmoon, Jigsaw], discussions of mental health [Sun], swearing, [because I'm incorrigible])

I'll be honest I do NOT like the name Jigsaw. I just simply do not like it. It's just not clicking with me for some reason. It sounds like the name is still up in the air in the show as well, but I hope I settled with it real quick if it does become the canon name for this dude.

I couldn't tell you WHY. It's just not sitting with me yet, which is bothering me because it's such a silly reason to dislike the appearance of a character. Especially since I REALLY like this guy.

yeah ya'll are right. Moon's concern for Sun's wellbeing is endearing

More of a gripe with Security Breach, but they missed an opportunity to call the game Glampire. I mean, come on. It's right there!

I try very hard not to be someone who nips about stuff on the show but the 'watch to the end to see...' is... really annoying. I've had to click off a couple videos because I was just... I dunno, they struck me the wrong way? Like, I'm already watching the episode? I want to watch the episode? I don't want to watch the episode when that thing pops up, makes me feel like I'm being told my attention span is not long enough or something. It feels kinda... insulting? But it feels dumb to call it that. It's just something I'm perturbed by. :/ I feel like I saw someone else mention this somewhere, maybe here or in the comments of a vid. So I hope it's not just a me thing.

I wonder why they started doing that? Maybe people were only watching so far into the videos? I'd be genuinely interested in seeing the analytics of the channel. I know that's not an option lol, but I just like data and looking at data. Correlating it to decisions and stuff. ANYWAY

I've also never understood peoples, like, people point out the cameras a lot as being shorter than normal or taller than normal or shakier and ascribing that to being a character when it just always felt like camera work to me. Cause, you know, it's VR CHAT, they gotta work with what they got.

But I did kind of understand this episode, because all I could imagine as Moon was walking through the Arcade back area was Ruin/Jigsaw/'whatever their name is when it's cemented in the future' doing that goofy, like, long legged cartoon walk where someone's sneakin' around in like tom and jerry or loony toons.

or Sims 4 because this is the closest gif I could find lol

THEY'RE SO GODDAMN MENACING RRRRRRRRRGH

They make me genuinely nervous when they TALK it's so GOOD

Like, my heart clenches up you know what I mean?

"THERE'S NOTHING TO SEPERATE" SLAPPIG MY LEGS SLAPPING MY LEGS YESSSSSSSSSS

BOP IT TWIST IT BREAK IT BEND IT KILL YOUR FAMILY FUCK AROUND FIND OUT SPIN IT

LOL THEY DID IT RIGHT AFTER I DID IM WHEEZING

This guy is so. They're SO interesting to me. They're

They remind me of Bloodmoon. But only a little bit. In, like, a similar but opposite way.

so Bloodmoon, like I've said before, was built for killing. It was weaved into their code from the get-go to be violent. But they also enjoyed it, killing people was something they relished in.

This guy also seems to enjoy killing people, but unlike Bloodmoon, if they are to be believed, they are a fusion between Sun and Moon. As far as we know Sun and Moon were not programmed with any sort of penchant for violence. There was Killcode, but Killcode was a virus before he gained sentience, and if New Moon is anything to base off of, those violence urges were not hard coded into him. And if the AI is to be believed the only two folks in this particular robot are Sun and Moon.

Which seems to me like wherever this want for torture came from, they developed it on their own. Whether that be because of the events of the Ruin DLC or what, I don't know but I'm super excited to see all that unfold.

They also seem to enjoy it differently. Bloodmoon killed his victims, violently. They seemed to enjoy the viscera and gore of murdering people more than the lead up. After all they liked blood.

This guy is much more patient, all the way down to how they speak. They enjoy causing PAIN. It's a game to them, because it's fun. Their enjoyment comes from the torment before the kill. It's why he describes what he's going to do to Moon, I don't even think they mention killing at all, THAT'S what he enjoys.

"Moon suggest a different game! Moon suggest a different game!" Lol

"Rock a bye baby *doge w/dolphin sounds*" Had me crying.

As Jigsaw was following Moon back out of the arcade, they'd pass into a more shaded area and his eyes glowed which was Really cool and also Really unsettling.

"We can make them count as limbs" fuck me he's so unsettling

STOP DOING THE POOR SINNERS HAND BIT STOP IT STOP IT

PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELF

WE'RE PUTTING IT THE CABINET

" I don't owe you anything."

"Yes you do! You owe me a game!" Pouty face. (:(

Should have suggested, like, a vocal rendition of Rush E or The Diva Dance from The Fifth Element or something.

I guess... they're robots though. So maybe notes like that wouldn't affect them. Might have set them on fire thought maybe?

Moon's performance was very nice! It really is a good song for his character. It takes a lot of confidence to sing in front of ANY type of audience.

Jigsaw really takes everything in stride. Moon insults him and he doesn't even respond at all.

The lil' nose boop.

The little head bonk.

"I'm yOU remember?"

OOOHHH He does NOT like cheating OOOOOOHHHHHHHH EFFFFFF

I was wrong there are something's he does not take in stride

I

LOVE him. He is shooting way up on my list of characters I look forward to seeing in episodes.

"Well I'm still standing here!" "And I'm way better than I ever was." LOL

You know I can see no cons of creating a portal gun. I think that would be highly beneficial and there would be no terrible outcomes that ignite from the building of a piece of machinery that allows instantaneous travel between two designated locations via breaking the very fabric of space time. Not a single bad thing could come from making something

Yeah okay never mind

(Sorry I gotta poke a leettle bit of fun at the guy who decided making the Newton Star was a good idea thinking making another high-tech piece of equipment is a good idea. I'll make fun of the satellite too, probably, when it comes around don't ya'll worry)

"Ohhhh NOOOoooo DOn't LEEaave ME MOOOnnn PLEEEeaase." As Moon just turns around and walks away

Followed immediately by a fucking jump scare Jesus Christ

But it worked right? It fucking worked, it lulled me into a false sense of security. Like, this guy who was threatening Moon's limbs not seven minutes earlier went into goofy silly clown mode and I fell for it sooooo, like. It worked.

It sounds like this was the first time Moon actually said anything about his trip to another dimension to Sun. So this is being dropped onto Sun with almost no warning.

Sun learned Moon would be gone for a week, and immediately went 'can we hang out?'

He very much needs some support right now. We're, what, a week post-hallucination episode? He needs his support group with him right now, it is a critical point, but he's too afraid to ask for it straight up so instead he's asking around it so to speak.

Instead of asking Moon to stay or telling him what the problem is, he's asking if Moon will play a game with him instead. Hang out. Be in his presence.

There are so many reasons this could be. Perhaps he would feel selfish asking Moon to hold off on completing this satellite to stay with him, especially if he's not comfortable with telling Moon WHY just yet, because if he doesn't offer a reasonable explanation then there's no justification for Moon staying, at least in Sun's eyes. It could be embarrassment over the issues, maybe he feels like he's blowing it out of proportion. Maybe he feels like he's asked or taken too much support already, and outright asking for more will end in not having any support at all.

Any number of things. It's easier to ask now when he knows Moon is 'not busy', maybe even more likely to say yes. And he's grasping for it too, "any random game" he just doesn't want to be alone because he just found out he's going to be alone very suddenly in a time when he should not really be alone at all, whether he knows that or not. He certainly doesn't want to be.

I see people often say that 'the worst thing someone can tell you is no'. They generally mean it in a positive way? I guess? I think Sun is at that point where, yes, one of the worst things you could say to him is no. So even an unenthusiastic 'I don't REALLY want to hang out with you' yes is better than a 'no'. Because a no means he'll be alone for sure, while a unenthused yes still means he won't be alone. Does this make sense? It feels clunky, did I explain this right?

Yeah the demeanor change from after asking Moon about the satellite, to finding out he has to leave for it, to finding out he's not leaving right away, to finding out Moon is going to hang out with him despite not sounding enthusiastic about it (because at least its something, you know?) was a trip.

I know Moon's probably stressed right now too, but the 'isn't there something you wanted to drag me along with' was unnecessarily hurtful.

I feel like we're slowly leaning back into past cycles with these two. Like, Moon not telling Sun about something big and important like that. Sun pushing down problems into something else. We'll see. It's just hints at it for now.

Sorry for the downer boo boo ending to the post ;-;

Maybe the next one will be a bit cheerier?

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

I'm gonna need the current animation-twitter-blogosphere-youtube-content-mill to understand something... Or at least, listen for a bit. I'm no expert, but as someone who has watched box office - particularly animation box office - for nearly two decades now, I wanna talk about what's going on with a lot of animated features nowadays in a post-outbreak world that's still actually dealing with COVID-19.

Box office, the way Hollywood measures it, is already archaic beyond belief at this point. Success and the movie's justification for existence being determined by a thing's opening weekend and not the legs, the longevity beyond theaters, etc. etc. It's created this weird culture of deeming things "flops" and also creating this weird obsession with marketing.

And apparently more than one of the YouTube Toon Opinion Industrial Complex content mills are already calling a movie like MIGRATION, which is currently legging it up in a way that Illumination's SING movies did during the holiday frame in their respective release years, a money-loser... Like, pump the brakes, will ya?

I don't care if it's clickbait or whatever, like, c'mon... We're reducing the hard work of animators and filmmakers to how much the movie makes in its first weeks of existence.

The way I see it, we're in an era now where...

Theater trips are goddamn expensive and are kind of a gamble. Over $50-70 for a family to see a movie, with concessions added, and your experience may SUCK. (Take it from me, 8-year movie theater employee and loooong-time moviegoer here who has had plenty a shit experience.) It's a gamble each and every time.

And the same applies to maybe a friend group, or a dating couple, or even older adults looking to watch something.

So, either the movie has to be something audiences are familiar with AND know what they're going to get out of it (i.e. MARIO, certain Marvel movies, etc.), or it's lucky to hit audiences in the right place at the right time (OPPENHEIMER, etc.) and luckily tap into the zeitgeist- if not change the zeitgeist singlehandedly.

Box office alone is a gamble. When you start a movie 4 years before release, how the hell do you know what the world is going to look like by the time the thing is completed?

I'm repeating myself, like a broken mp3, I know I know.

But, that's how I see it... Thus, animated family movies and their usual family audiences are in a unique position at the moment. A pretty solid-looking, more original animated family film from Pixar or DreamWorks or Sony had more chances of opening with $40m than they do now. Say, a movie that's not based on a pre-existing IP or is based on one that was never before adapted into a movie or TV series (think something like THE BAD GUYS).

Of course, you have your MARIOs and SPIDER-VERSEs. Those were guaranteed big openers. Films like ELEMENTAL and MIGRATION weren't so clear-cut. Even TROLLS 3 opened fine-ish, significantly below what TROLLS took in some 7 years ago. PUSS IN BOOTS 2 was hampered by bad weather on the East Coast, yeah, but its opening wasn't going to be anything special either. Legs... Or wings in MIGRATION's case, cat claws in PUSS's case... Make all the difference.

They always have, actually. Animated family features usually relied on strong word-of-mouth if they had some kind of adult appeal. It's something similar to what Walt Disney had once "realized" in the late 1950s. Something to the tune of "If the film really appealed to mom... Then mom takes the whole family... And then tells all her friends, and they go, and everyone goes."

So I feel we're in an era where the success of an animated feature can NOT be determined too early. Remember how ELEMENTAL was written off as a big ol' flop, immediately? And that Pixar was toast? And that they needed to bring the Hawaiian shirt pervert control freak back in order to get a box office hit again?

Weeks later, everyone was singing a different tune. ELEMENTAL was an underdog, it had a "comeback" story. No folks, that's just classic animation legs. People liked the movie after hearing from the few people who saw it... That it was actually worth checking out.

But these films need the legs more than ever before, now. Especially in a competitive marketplace where stuff is coming out every week, and there's always something just as good at home to put on. (Some people are trying to suggest that Netflix's LEO cut into Disney's WISH... Because it's at home, right there, no overpriced snacks or disruptive strangers next to you.)

Luckily, TROLLS 3 and MIGRATION were lower with their budgets. Cost in the sub-$100m regions, weren't required to make half a billion like the $200m-costing ELEMENTAL and WISH were expected to do. Which is kinda unfair to begin with, but I digress. Pixar is sure to blow $175m+ on their future features, and WDAS too, while DreamWorks, Illumination, and Sony try to keep it below $100m. Even if it's through dubious means, like outsourcing and shitty pay.

So, nowadays with animated family movies, it's a waiting game. MIGRATION, as of now, is currently at $77m domestically. That's already 6.4x its opening weekend, a fantastic multiplier for any film. By the time it wraps up, it'll likely make over 8x its opening weekend, landing amongst the biggest multipliers for a post-90s animated feature. That Christmas-to-winter break-to-boredom season slot does wonders, doesn't it? And of course, the movie being liked by those who saw it. WISH could've been a leggy Thanksgiving/Christmas movie - like TANGLED and FROZEN and MOANA were, but audiences clearly weren't digging it much.

Of course, it's not easy to do that, either. Sometimes a thing just won't land. LIGHTYEAR, for example. That's also part of the gamble. More often than not, though, these kinds of movies usually get a good audience grade, MIGRATION's no different... So, it's leggin' it up, winging it.

Which is why we should maybe... Wait a few weeks on these kinds of things? I know these "content creators" have bills to pay and have to crank-crank-crank stuff out, but still-

[eiirisworkshop]

Eiiri’s OC-tober 2023 - Day 6: Mark Interacting With a Child in His Life

Read on Ao3 here, original prompt list here. ~

It was nice to be back at work with the Twists, even if most of the ranch work out on the property was still more than Mark could manage, more then he might ever be able to manage again. But it was good to have something to do, and being an extra hand around the house was something he could manage. Mostly.

Right now he was rather suffering from not having any goddamn grip strength in his bad hand so he could hold what he was working on fucking still.

He swore a long colorful string of frustrated profanity—

“Whacha cussin' about?”

—and damn near jumped out of his skin, looking quickly over his shoulder to see Jack's young son Bobby watching him intently. For a second they just stared at each other, then Mark blurted the only thing he could currently think of: “Whad'you know 'bout cussin'?”

“Lots!” Bobby said proudly, rocking forward on his toes. “My Daddy taught me.”

“Okay….” Mark said slowly.

“So, whacha cussin' about? Figure if you're cussin' that much it must be really bad.”

“Uh.” Mark glanced back at his project. “No, it's just—y'know what? D'you wanna help me with this?” He offered and Bobby lit up, always eager to be included in the grown folks' work.

“Yeah!”

Mark grinned and nodded for Bobby to join him. “C'mere and hold this still for me so I c'n get this damn screw out.”

Bobby bounded over and—with all the determination and attention he could muster—clamped Mark's project in his little hands so it couldn't budge.

It was nice to be back at work, and it was nice to know he wouldn't be judged for what he couldn't manage on his own.

[gon-and-killuas-mother]

i am attempting "light therapy" to help fix my sleep schedule and i'm cranky about it

my aunt, who's a neuropsychiatrist (one of the few women in her field and fairly well known at this point, don't know if anyone's heard of Dr. Jo Cara Pendergrass but damn she's cool) was in town this week to look after her mom post-cataract surgery

Cara is probably the smartest person in the family, all things considered

(my brother and I give her a run for her money but neither of us intend on getting a goddamn PhD lol) (also my dad wouldn't appreciate me saying that, he is also pretty smart. but like. he's got intelligence, he's just lacking in wisdom)

ANYWAY. of all the people in the family, Cara is the person i rarely have to explain my illnesses to. usually, i have to tack on a brief description of it anytime i say "yeah i have EDS and fibromyalgia and IBS and--"

but last time i saw her over Christmas, i told her the diagnosis and had my script prepared to explain, but she just went "Oh yeah Ehlers Danlos -- wait. Oh."

her face did the thing where she was processing new info at light speed by blinking and cycling through several expressions as the pieces of the mystery that is my chronic ailments settled themselves in place

unfortunately i wasn't at the point where i was comfortable enough to tell anyone how miserable and in pain i was, that was something i put off another couple of months before i confessed to Nana that i'd become a grocery thief and was on my way to being homeless. that's also around when my brother asked my permission to share my story with the family, because he knows how difficult it is for me to admit how much i'm struggling.

i'm rambling tbh but only to keep me awake and sitting outside long enough

ANYWAY

so Cara was here this week. i went to visit the other night. we always have really interesting conversations about our brains and genes and family shite, i don't think anyone other than my brother and i can actually hold a conversation with her about that kind of shit.

i did NOT go there just for advice, but when i told her how much trouble i've had getting out of bed before evening, she gave me a couple of tips that i'm now trying out

1). the 24-hour sleep deprivation strategy

it sounds like a nightmare to me, but apparently has supporting evidence that, at least in the short term, resets your circadian rhythm.

if you've ended up awake hours past your desired bedtime, then instead of simply going to bed late, it's advised* to keep yourself awake throughout the rest of the day until the next bedtime.

( * WITH CONSULTATION OR SUPERVISION OF A DOCTOR)

the reason this is supposedly effective is that the longer you stay awake, the higher the sleep pressure becomes (sleep pressure is just your body's signal to go the fuck to bed, which is something i'm intimately familiar with as it's a constant companion of mine regardless of sleep hygiene). the higher the sleep pressure the easier it is to fall asleep and, ideally, the better your sleep becomes.

Cara did emphasize that as far as we know, it's only a short term strategy. either we haven't done enough studies or we haven't figured out how to apply it to a longer term solution.

2). Light therapy

i was already somewhat aware of this but not to the extent that Cara explained.

the trick here is to force yourself out of bed (if you're able) and sit outside. preferably on sunny days. she said this even works if you end up falling asleep outside anyway, you're still absorbing sunlight.

there's no immediate change, as it does take a few days or more to notice any improvements (this checks out, as i am still drowsy as fuck) but doing this daily or semi-daily gradually convinces the body and brain to be awake earlier.

it's one of those things that a lot of disabled folk like me, especially those with fucked up sleep, would hear and get annoyed with, because we've tried so many different strategies that have each failed one way or another. and hearing "go outside" just reminds me of my mother and every yoga enthusiast insisting on all natural medicine, which understandably raises my metaphorical hackles.

but Cara, again, is the smartest person i know. i'm much more willing to take the advice of a neuropsychiatrist over a yoga mom, despite them actually agreeing on something.

and also? i do miss the Sun, quite terribly.

so if, by sometime next week, i'm magically able to wake up earlier with less struggle, i will let y'all know. i'm gonna be cranky about it, especially if it actually WORKS, but as the neighborhood mascot of Sleep Deprivation i think i'm a pretty good indicator if something like this is legit or not.

｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡

[cherishedproperty]

It has been a busy and shitty week, and today is meant for family celebration, so I'll keep this brief.

Many of you have asked me for my thoughts on the current 144/JD/whatever situation. Let me say that I don't follow JD/OLK, nor have I ever. Or some of the other folks involved in callouts. But I have known 144 for a long, long time. We haven't been that close in the past several years, as life has gotten busy and we've just kind of drifted apart. But he has been there for me through some really, really bad times in my life. Divorce, getting my heart absolutely destroyed, single parenting, deep depression...all of it. He's checked in on me when no one else did. He's celebrated every wonderful thing in my life. While we had stopped talking regularly and sharing about our relationships and experiences, I still saw him as a respectable and trustworthy person.

I have been reading everything I can about this situation, and here's what I know:

He broke the confidence of someone he knew really, really valued her privacy above all else, especially at a time when she was very vulnerable.

He has lied to me about this situation—on stupid, small things that he had no good goddamn reason to lie about.

He had a relationship with someone and, at a minimum, did not handle his shit well (beyond disappearing during his annual off-the-grid trip, the exact allegations are unclear to me).

For me, the first two are, as he would say, firing offenses. Beyond that, many specific allegations leading to the labels being thrown around (which I take quite seriously) are unclear to me. I have been told from people I trust that there are additional screenshots and stories that go beyond what has been shared publicly, and these are the source of those labels. I remain open to all of this, and I feel like I must be missing things. But I have not seen these stories myself. So I cannot in good conscience speak to them or to any accusations of him being an abuser or groomer or anything in that realm. I have told others that I feel like I have 5 pieces of a 500 piece puzzle. I think with time, more of the pieces will become clear. But they aren't clear to me right now.

At the same time, on Wednesday, about 24 hours after this all started, I was asked to reblog a post that asserted some things as fact, including labeling someone an abuser and worse. I said that I had not seen evidence of the things being asserted as fact, though I very much wanted to see any evidence. Then, in the middle of what was stated up front as a VERY busy workday (followed by a work happy hour), I was treated as a traitor and blocked. Which saddens me.

Anyway, where I'm at is this: I unfollowed 144, because I fundamentally do not trust him anymore, and I don't need any more specifics than what I have to make that determination. I have made many of my more popular writings un-rebloggable for the time being, after seeing one pop from his queue. I've also backed up my writings and am leaning toward deleting this blog. Even if I stay on this website, doing so on this blog with so many years of history feels wrong. And staying at all, in any capacity feels challenging. Everything about this community is radioactive nuclear waste right now. There are loyalty tests. Every reblog will forever be scrutinized by whose tribe you're in and whether you're aligned with the right or wrong people. Tumblr used to be the one place where I could truly be myself. Now it's just another social media minefield. I'm not sure there will be anything left to salvage by the time all of this is through.

Anyway, those are my two cents, now that I've had some time to process. I know a lot of folks are hurting, and my heart goes out to them.

I'll be offline for the rest of the day (and perhaps the rest of the weekend), focusing on my family and celebrating the love and joy in my life. Peace to you all.

[constantvariations]

Rwby V9C2. This time i decided to put all my thoughts down as i watched the episode (i know most folks do this as a massive series of reblogs. No thanks lol)

You know its gonna be a gr8 episode when the very first line is a disingenuous trope aware quip. No wonder at the new world, no anxiety about how to get home. Nope! Just... bland disinterest. Did Joss Whedon join crwby?

I hate Little so goddamn much. Idk if yall read that one teaboot post where they talk about their hatred of Olaf from Frozen but I am reaching that level of irrational fury

As much as I like the uses of sweat drops and pop animation and frustration speech bubbles because they're delightful anime visual tropes... it's wayyy to late to be introducing those now. This would be like adding farting unicorns to The Walking Dead after half the cast was eaten. Again. Once more, I am asking what the fuck the tone is supposed to be here

Why is it called the Ever After? Wonderland rolls off the tongue way better and makes more sense for the name of a new world/dimension/whatever

So glad to be getting the exposition on the girl who fell through the world now instead of any organic weaving into dialogue prior. I love getting my information shoved down my throat all at once

I do actually like them discussing the tale. Different takeaways from the same story are always fun. Wish it could've lasted longer, I really want more conversations between these guys that aren't always directly about the plot

Okay, Weiss's doubts are good to hear. Sound like a lot of the stuff we've been saying, which may or may not be on purpose. Strange she doesn't mention her family at all, though, just the downfall of Atlas. Would've been really interesting to hear her thoughts on her parents and brother

Little needs to die. Now.

Weiss going back and forth between freaking out about the impracticality of their situation and taking charge when impracticality occurs is jarring. Maybe it's the smaller nonsense she can handle and not the big, abstract stuff? Guess we'll see

"I've always wanted to be long, but I'm still small." That's the funniest thing crwby has written in the last 5 seasons and it goes to the worst character. Typical rwby lol

Yang is absolutely intolerable in this auction bit. Knowing she's in a strange and illogical world, her first instinct is to be a cop? I've seen children act less petulant than her. Also, any item bought is probably more easily stolen from the buyer than the racoon, so why isn't that even on the table right now?

Did these idiot townsfolk really not know the gimmick? He's been at this long enough to be immortalized in a fairy tale, and I highly doubt there's enough space in Wonderland for him to never visit the same place twice. Unless everyone's memories get reset after a certain point, they should damn well know the coon is a con

Also that sword looks like it should be in Halo. Guess old habits die hard

Not this fucking Scooby Doo shit again. Can these characters stop interacting with the loop de loop sections before I throw my computer into the sun?

Wait that's Penny's sword? It's ugly as shit why you gotta do Penny dirty like that again

I find Ruby's expression of depression to be highly unbelievable. The excuse for so long has been that she's been hiding her emotions for the sake of everyone else, which is a fair enough point, but now there's not even a token effort. No obviously painful smiles, no jokes she breaks partway through, no overcompensating by hyping up too much. Ruby might as well be the goth girl at the top of the skyscraper from the All Star Superman comic for all the characteristically realistic depiction of depression she has

It worked well enough when she was alone and didn't have to fake for anyone - which is why everyone was so excited for Ruby to finally be free to break - but that was nipped right in the bud, and nothing has grown in its place. It's just... disappointing

[halcyandaze]

question that came to me out of the blue but were there previous versions/scrapped ideas for bonomo and nova [or oc in general]?

oH BOY so I've had bonomo for over 7 years now so uhhh I do indeed got plenty of old material of those two and how they kinda evolved and changed over all that time

so lucky for you guys, for once I'm gonna *pukes in mouth a lil* ugh, share my old art from when I was 15, oof uhhh you're welcome in advance (yes I realize some of my old followers here could have been following since I was 15 but still) also since I've had these characters for so long and tie into my own life at times I may accidentally go off on some tangents but whatever

strap in folks, this is gonna be a long post

bonomo

2015: aight so I first made this lil dude in september 2015 in a sketchbook after school. didn't think much of him at the time, just a cool character design that kinda stuck around. an ex friend of mine gave him the name bonomo (I suck at naming things) but yes humble beginnings here, literally just a little guy

early 2016: ok so at this point I got attached to the design and wanted to flesh him out more. at first he was just a lil creature with a monitor head, but I wanted to run with that retro computer kind of theme and fully embraced it by making him into a robot

mid/late 2016: alright so here is when the design really started to take shape and tighten up as you can see, from this point not much changes with bonomo as far as the design goes except for just minor art style changes from here. this is where I start building more personality, being rather positive, naive, goofy

2017: here is where I really start knowing the character well and finally get all the kinks out of the design. ended up making him very expressive, taller, softer, rounder, everything past this point is peak bonomo

2018/2019/2020/2021/2022: not much to report at this point his design is pretty much solid from here

nova

early 2016: so here I first wanted to make a simple persona/self insert kinda thing and made this rough unnamed loose design of a lil alien creature, as you can see I cannot decide on a color palette to save my life

mid/late 2016: got a name for them and started calling them nova, and I finally picked a goddamn color palette and basic outfit design about damn time. at this point they went from being just a nameless self insert persona concept to be their own character instead

2017: same with bonomo, this is where I feel like I got a good solid design for them, and all of their major design has stayed the same from here on out. I also brought back/revived some elements from their very first designs in 2016 as a design for their younger self for backstory purposes, but this is still a bit rough and I put it on the back burner to shape up their current design and story before tackling their backstory

2018: not much change here except I feel my art has gotten much better at this point lol

2019/2020: at this point I have bonomo and nova's personality, design, dynamic, and story rough ideas down pretty solid so I work more on nova's past and backstory more and have nailed down the design for their younger past self

2021/2022: both versions of nova have remained pretty much unchanged from here

early 2016: both bonomo and (at the time unnamed) nova were more of just designs than the characters we know em as today. I started drawing them together around march 2016 just because I thought "oh haha a robot and alien, sci-fi cross over time" without thinking much of it

mid/late 2016: here I find myself drawing the two together more and it's at this point I realize to myself 'oh shit I can do something with this' and started to really flesh out who they are and where they came from and wanted to turn them into full characters instead of just little doodles. here I started experimenting with lore and story ideas, many of which have changed a lot or have been scrapped completely by now. at first I imagined both of them being from space, but ended up scrapping that and having bonomo be native to earth. I also didn't have a full motive for nova to come to earth yet either, but I knew they'd both be on earth at this point just causing trouble. I also was debating making their story much more depressing and even toxic at points for the two of them, even debating having bonomo leaving nova for good at some point, but that just made me sad over time so that quickly was changed

2017: here is both when their main design elements and personality start to take proper shape. I base their personalities off of exaggerated aspects of my own, bonomo being my goofy silly naive geeky half and nova being my feral stubborn paranoid half. I have also started forming the very rough idea of nova's backstory to how they arrived on earth, why they're on earth, how bonomo and nova meet, and their basic every day lives

2018: ok so now that I have their designs, personalities, and daily lives and motivations down, I start working on their actual story and have gotten it pretty solid now (but these are all spoilers so hmm ask for more info later if y'all really want uhhhhhhh)

2019/2020: at this point my art has gone from much more simple and flat color generally to much more rendered and symbolic and distorted and psychedelic, cuz this was after I dropped out of college and was battling some nasty drug addictions at the time which quite literally changed how I see the world to a much more confusing and broken and distorted place, and my art changed to reflect that. it was at this point that I started working more on nova's backstory seriously since it ties into where their story finishes

2021/2022: my art at this point was a lot of self reflection cuz I had a lot of emotions and a lot of personal growth and a lot of change in my life at this point and phew these two were really going through it in my artwork while I figured my shit out. but here we are now!

so yeah uh that's bonomo the prototype robot and nova the ex-space criminal they live in the middle of nowhere new mexico and get up to silly shenanigans and tomfoolery :]

[incarnateirony]

Truly though, the longer I do this whole metanarrative style DJ leak thing with occasional primer videos, the more I understand why Riddler Khu does things the way they do.

While never have I EVER encountered a fandom so basically rich-socialite-corrupted that people are trained to successfully mass attack/doxx leakers in the name of angry con kids that want to be ITK (2po, scripthunt, every mod in that lot.), much less a fandom that FALLS for this shit as routinely,

Khu still gets obnoxious shit from the occasional PROVE IT TO ME jackass, but it's incredibly rare despite the magnitude of the fandom. Similar to my case, most people with brains recognize how reliable he's been and why he can't say where his shit is from and leave it be but there is always that one self centered motherfucker trying to make it All About Them like folks here do.

But for those who don't know, Riddler Khu is one of the top leakers in the pokemon fandom. But he never just says shit outright. He does things like post pictures that, while themselves are not new content images, tell enough of a story that people use their brains and riddle it out together, and it always comes true.

Ever since I started the musical method, there's been an interesting phenomenon. Most loudly of it, it's that the obnoxious white noise of lies that spew out of my cult of antis just has nothing to latch onto. They lack the honest effort or mental capacity, one or the other, to actually listen, much less do so routinely to the various parts and get the full context. But there's plenty of people that have been listening and have since developed some pretty crystal clear ideas of what I'm saying, maybe even clearer than if I tried to write longass technical posts about it.

And that's it at the end of the day. Haters simply don't have the capacity to Do What I Do, and that makes them angry, but then what I Do What I Do via abstract means, they don't even know what they're supposed to be hating on or lying to counterpoint. They have neither the sense nor the context. So then it just becomes shrill general antiscreaming like it is in its bones. THE ARTIST THAT MAKES THEIR OWN CONTENT UNLIKE US RESELLING OTHER PEOPLES SHIT HAS A PATREON! EVILLLLL! STUPID POOPIE HEAD POSTING VIDEOS I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

And then you see it for what it is. A bunch of angry children throwing feces at the wall. Definitional smear campaigns that they hope to see work, they hope to hide the truth, hope to chase out the person that's been running circles around them for years, but they can't.

And since then, well. All the lies, all the filth he put out there against me. I realized it's been completely undone, looking at the follower count I largely ignore. Why? Because hate doesn't have what it takes to take down the truth, as long as the truth itself doesn't yield to their attacks, which is why spnscripthunt members have been escalating their doxxing, threats, etc the last few months. That's it. That's all they have left. Anger, hatred, revenge. And it's really just, it's all their own faults and they know it. On every level, this is a self inflicted wound. But it's what they have left, for almost exactly 2 months, so goddamn they're gonna keep up the shrill teakettle sounds until the spout clogs and they just explode from pressure.

So yeah. I totally understand both why Riddler Khu and Bobo engage the way they do now. Even when it comes to genuine people, they seem to feel, idk, better? About figuring out parts of it themselves too. Like people love playing Clue anyway and it actually seems to be a better way to spread leaks or any kind of information, period, than writing bigassed posts trying to explain it all that people zone out on.

Just. Thoughts. But no, spnscripthunt. To each and every mod there, I am not ever, EVER going to let this fandom forget you doxxing randoms trying to retaliate against me, and you doing NOTHING to penalize or disassociate from that mod, because you were all involved. Not going to let them forget 2po's con sources threatening hellers at cons with physical violence. Not going to let them forget that you KNEW you were lying when you said my pilot script was fake--lying for EIGHT MONTHS--but you were that dedicated to your hate campaign and salty my copy was newer than your coffee runners, and saltier I knew it despite you throwing half the uninformed fandom at me and couldn't be shaken because we had older drafts and, well, knew it was fucking real resultingly.

They're not gonna forget. And now with this nice collected block list of their mods and users hate trolling my anon box, it's a nice little record to Never Forget, especially once 1x13 airs, and they're truly shown as the hating, anti, bitter, lying frauds they are. Because it's not about The Truth to them. It's not even about the show. It's barely about leaks anymore. It's about their egos, and the violence with which they lost the whole farm.