#but I can make it WORSE

[lets-try-some-writing]

The Grim Dark Archives: Statement #004 SITUATION UPDATE

[Statement taken from Agent Witwicky on the 23rd of September 2010 regarding the situation with [Redacted] and the Autobot presence on Earth. Secondary statement taken from [Redacted] shortly after their awakening also included.]

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For any listeners, I will say this simply. The reason for the six year gap in further statements and transcripts is because... [Redacted] was caught by the Autobots shortly after their statement on Holoforms. [Redacted] was meant to only be on a short walk around a secure area, but they deviated from the planned route we had cleared for them. We do not know what they were trying to do, but we believe that they were possibly attempting to observe the Autobots from a distance. What little camera footage we gathered from [Redacted] showed them rushing toward where the Autobots were reported to be looking for energon.

Considering how terrified they are of the Autobots, this choice made no sense to us. But whatever [Redacted] was trying to do, they seemed to be taking notes when the Autobot known as Bumblebee snuck up on them. Bumblebee made some sort of sound that our systems could not pick up, and within moment [Redacted] was surrounded by the Autobots at the dig site. There was some sort of discussion in what we assume was their native language before the one called Bulkhead proceeded to punch [Redacted] hard enough to knock them to the floor. Further footage was grainy, but when the Autobots finally left, [Redacted] was all but a crushed mess on the ground.

Our agents were deployed to collect what was left, but miraculously, [Redacted] still seemed to be alive. Whatever power source keeps Cybertronians operational was still blazing. And so while higher command was not exactly the most thrilled with the idea, [Redacted] was brought in for repairs. I wasn't there for all of it, but from what I gather, our scientists and engineers both had a field day and hated every waking moment of trying to put [Redacted] back together. Thankfully for everyone, [Redacted] seemed to be in some sort of sleep while they were being repaired. It took years to get them back into shape, and all the while we kept the Autobots occupied as best as we could. We took [Redacted]'s advice and were careful about what information we allowed the Autobots to have. They are currently under the assumption that we can destroy them with nukes. It seems to have kept them from acting out.

However they were reported constantly watching the stars and searching for things on the surface. We struggled to keep track of them, at least until two things happened.

Firstly, [Redacted] showed signs of waking up from whatever coma they were in. They started moving around and booting online around the time a new alien aircraft appeared in the skies. We couldn't trace it and there were no Autobot symbols. But the Autobots were quick to inform us that the ship belonged to the Decepticons, their mortal enemies. They seemed far too excited for their own good at the prospect of fighting these other aliens. We opted to keep our sights on the ship as much as possible while the Autobots began a frantic search. It was around this time that [Redacted] finally came online enough to speak coherently, at which point we immediately questioned them about the situation. Their response was highly concerning, just like everything else they have ever told us.

I will play a recording of their statement here.

[-Statement playback begins-

That is the Decepticon warship. Sorry, my processors are pounding like a glitch right now, but yeah, Prime wasn't lying. That's definitely Megatron's ship. Why did you think the Autobots were here in the first place? Did you think they turned up for a vacation? No, they came here because this is where the Decepticons are.

How did you not pick it up on your radar? Well the Nemesis has a cloaker. All Cybertronian ships do. You didn't notice the Autobots until they came to you right? Well think about it this way. If the Decepticons can now be picked up on your radar, it means they don't care about being seen. That in turn means that they have a purpose, a mission. They have been hanging around your planet as long if not longer than the Autobots have, likely waiting for the right moment to make their move.

I don't claim to know their plans, but now that they are up and moving, you can bet that Megatron will show up soon enough. That's when slag is going to get real. So far the Autobots have laid low and been pretty docile right? At least I assume they have since you are all still alive and your capitol isn't burning. Well unfortunately for you organics, things just went from bad to worse. Expect my kin's war to begin ravaging your world as well. Hopefully their lack of numbers will keep it somewhat contained, but honestly at this point all I can do is give you context for what is going on and hope you can use it to your benefit.

The Decepticons are likely here to retrieve something or other. There were thousands of objects deployed during the war to keep them safe. Killing the Autobots is just a bonus. As for the Autobots? I can't claim to know, but I bet they will pull the same scrap. The two factions are notorious for being competitive. Just... try to keep civilians out of the way as they try to wage their war.

We are a dying race, and this is exactly why. When one of the factions get what they want, then you can really start worrying again. For now, they will be too focused on turning each other into slag to care much about you.... or me.

-Statement playback ends-]

[Redacted] did not elaborate on what allowed them to survive very nearly being killed. They also did not tell us WHY the Autobots tried to kill them, but we have more important things to deal with now. The Decepticons are active and we do not have nearly enough information due to [Redacted]'s extended coma. We are going to need to work quick to catch up on all we missed and get as much information as we can from our suspicious ally before they get killed for good this time.

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[Statement end.

Further statements will be added to this catalogue as soon as possible. The Autobots have been observed moving and I am sure it will not be long before we need [Redacted]'s knowledge again.

Agent Witwicky signing off.

Recording ends.]

[imperatoralicia]

Just having some drinks at the local saloon.

[theoldkyokodied]

The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic

[hansoeii]

let time pass.

[opikiquu]

iknow my comics are ugly please just hear me out

[newttxt]

this is opla!zoro, to me 🙂

[soyochii]

Grown adults but also Highschool bullies fr

[clouvu]

yknow what. *undooms your yuri again*

[notherpuppet]

Lucifer and Alastor as floormates

Preview:

[loumands]

I feel like many people have a fundamental misconception of what unreliable narrator means. It's simply a narrative vehicle not a character flaw or a sign that the character is a bad person. There are also many different types of unreliable narrators in fiction. Being an unreliable narrator doesn't necessarily mean that the character is 'wrong', it definitely doesn't mean that they're wrong about everything even if some aspects in their story are inaccurate, and only some unreliable narrators actively and consciously lie. Stories that have unreliable narrators also tend to deal with perception and memory and they often don't even have one objective truth, just different versions. It reflects real life where we know human memory is highly unreliable and vague and people can interpret same events very differently

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

What if when Michael got Distortioned he/they/it/(?) had just kept showing up to work? Imagine Gertrude comes into the archives and finds a bunch of paperwork filled out in yellow highlighter and folded into impossible shapes, and then Michael-Distortion just walks into the room door-style and sits down at his work computer so it can email Gertrude a phishing scam.

[saintapplebees]

absolutely obsessed with these two btw

[buggachat]

remember when chat blanc aired and chat noir almost cataclysming his dad was a big deal. like all the fans were shocked and some were even upset at him for even considering/bluffing to do something so awful to someone, even though he didn't go through with it

anyway. remember when bug noire straight up just cataclysms her boyfriend's dad for real, no hesitation, no bluffing, with a big smile on her face

AND EVERYONE CLAPPED (INCLUDING ME) (GOOD FOR HER) (I SUPPORT WOMEN'S WRONGS) (HE DESERVED IT) (WISH HE DIDNT HAVE THE OX) (DO IT AGAIN)

[idontcarecarebear]

????Who am I talking about????

[hajihiko]

It runs in the family

[brother-emperors]

something. about. the horror of being sent on an impossible (death) quest and obligations and hospitality politics. the trauma of not having a home, and then the trauma of being in a house that becomes actively hostile to you, one that would swallow you whole and spit out your bones if you step out of line. all of this is conditional, your existence continues to be something men want gone.

it's about going back as far as I can with the perseus narrative because there's always a version of a myth that exists behind the one that survives. the missing pieces are clearly defined, but the oldest recorded version of it isn't there! and there's probably something older before that!! but it's doomed to forever be an unfilled space, clearly defined by an outline of something that was there and continues to be there in it's absence.

and love. it's also about love. even when you had nothing, you had love.

on the opposite side of the spectrum, this is Not About Ovid Or Roman-Renaissance Reception, Depictions And Discourses On The Perseus Narrative.

edit: to add to the above, while it's not about Ovid, because I'm specifically trying to peel things back to the oldest version of this story, Ovid is fine. alterations on the Perseus myth that give more attention Medusa predate Ovid by several centuries. this comic is also not about those, either! there are many versions of this story from the ancient world. there is not one singular True or Better version, they're all saying something.

Perseus, Daniel Ogden

Anthology of Classical Myth: Primary Sources in Translation, edited & translated by Stephen M Trzaskoma, R. Scott Smith, Stephen Brunet