#the ‘they can make each other worse’ part of their relationship turned to the max

[theoldkyokodied]

The Allegiance of the Ascended Vampire and the New God of Magic

[riverlikethelake]

Tìfyawìntxu

Summary: Your training starts, and you can't quite figure out Neteyam. Tension is thick, you know next to nothing about anything but the research done about Pandora, and you wish you could hear his thoughts, know what he thinks about you.

Pairing: Neteyam x Avatar!reader

Word count: 8.5k

Warnings/notes: mentions of death, depression, angst, fluff, development of platonic/familial relationships, Spider tries, Protective!Norm, foster family in the lab, the pacing isn't really what i wanted but we're getting there, slowburn, slight enemies to lovers, Neteyam and reader are in denial

series master list | Would stardust fix us? Part two

Newtons third law: Action & Reaction

His third law states that for every action (force) in nature there is an equal and opposite reaction. If object A exerts a force on object B, object B also exerts an equal and opposite force on object A. In other words, forces result from interactions.

You learned about Newton’s laws 4 years ago when Grace mentioned them in one of her logs, she was explaining her an another scientists research on the Ikrans, their anatomy vastly different from anything alive on earth and they wanted to compare them to Pterosaurs. Flying fascinated you after that, fully diving into any books you could find on physics and birds. 

Like how you wanted to learn about everything on Pandora, compensating for never being able to see it, you wanted to know everything about flying, maybe if you knew enough you could imagine what its like.          

-

“And she just let you in like that?” Norm questions, from across the table, pulling a chunk of bread off his piece with his teeth. You nod, widening your eyes and smiling, just as surprised as your foster father.

The two scientists look between each other, a moment passes and Norm shrugs “I mean Jake got in for about the same while the relations were significantly worse, it’s not unimaginable” He nods to Max who has a tentative look on his face.

He purses his lips and shakes his head to himself “Y/n I’m not sure how i feel about this” He speaks hesitantly “I mean i don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be in the link pod for extended periods of time, all day every day” You frown at his words, your shoulders slumping, demeanor visibly changing.

“Max..” Norm says in a low whisper, moving his hand to shield his mouth from you, as if what they’re saying isn’t to be heard. Max looks at him, he tilts his head carefully. After a moment, Max purses his lips and turns to you, “We can continue this conversation later, tell us about what you saw” a guarded smile forming on his lips.

You don’t like how he changed the subject, feeling as if they’re hiding something from you, but you take a deep breathe and start recalling the forest, every image of it engraved in your mind

The decompression door goes off and all your heads turn, Spider walks through, pulling off his oxygen mask and tilting his head to the side to stretch his neck. 

“You’re late” Norm speaks through a full mouth. 

“Aren’t I always?” Spider asks, a smirk on his face. “Jake and Neytiri wanted to talk to me about Y/n, they wanted to talk to her but you were disconnected by then” he explains motioning his hand towards you as he walks over.

You frown “They told me i could go to sleep?” You state confused. He shrugs and plops down next to you, grabbing a piece of bread from your plate and taking a bite.

“Yeah but I guess they forgot that you can’t really be ‘woken up’” He mumbles through the bread in his mouth “It was funny seeing Jake get all fumbled about forgetting” he laughs, pointing at Norm who cracks a smile.

“The mighty Olo’eyktan, you’d think with how attached he is to guns he’d still have some human left in him.” You roll your eyes as they take turns making jabs at the ex-marine. You make eye contact with Max who shares your expression, a smile cracks on both your lips as you roll your eyes and he shakes his head.

You lean over and nudge Spider’s shoulder “Y’know Spider, this means you don’t have to try and remember every detail of your day.” You grin. His smile falters for just a moment, a look passes through his eyes but it blinks away before you can recognize it. “And you can take me to all your favorite places”

He leans back in his chair, keeping his eyes on you before he grins. “That’s as long as Neteyam doesn’t take up all your time” your eyes widen, you purse your lips nervously and glance away. You hadn’t thought about the training yet, Neteyam had yet to leave your mind but you honestly don’t know what to expect with the upcoming training.

You shake your head and open your mouth to deny the accusation but he interrupts you, “Or maybe you’ll get all spiffy and serious like him” his smirk has doubled in size now. At this, you roll your eyes and throw your plastic fork at him. 

“I will not, I doubt he’s gonna even pay much attention to me” You lean back in your chair and grab your stolen bread out of your brothers hand. You hadn’t realized Norm had gotten up until hes reaching over and placing a food tray in front of Spider and taking his place in the chair across from you.

Spider leans forward and immediately starts stuffing the food into his mouth, earning a “manners, please” from Max.

“Knowing Neteyam, he might not pay much attention to you but he’ll take his job seriously” Norm states, leaning onto the table. “And he won’t go easy on you” Your eyes dart to Max to confirm his statement, he nods and you throw your head back and groan. 

Spider chuckles and pokes at your head making it loll to the side. “Don’t worry Bug, me and Kiri will be on your side” He comforts, pinching at your ear. You move your head to be facing him, you raise a brow and his smirk returns “Lo’ak might try and make things harder” you roll your eyes.

“Of course, what are friends for” You mutter, reaching your hand over to flick his forehead

-

Norm strides into your room, flipping on your light and pulling off your covers. You groan, flipping over to your side and curling in on yourself. “Rise and shine bug!” he bends down and ruffles your hair “village life starts early so if you don't wanna be late you should get up” you groan and swat your hand at him before rolling back onto your back.

“Maybe a more careful approach next time?” You murmur, squinting your eyes to help them adjust to the light. He laughs and places his hand on your back as you start to pull yourself up, he slides his arm under the bend on your knees and picks you up. 

You slip your arms around his neck, your head lolling into his chest. “I can walk” you mumble out, your eyes squint close as he exits your room, subjecting your sensitive vision to an even harsher and brighter light. His chest rumbles, considering your comment before carefully placing you down, keeping his arm your yours for support.

Thankfully, the movement didn’t rush to your head and you remained composed. The walk to the moin area wasn’t far, your eyes still blinking in annoyance when you reach the table. Norm pulls out a chair for you and immediately your scooting closer to the table and resting your head into your arms. A chair scratches the floor next to your and a hand is shaking your upper arm. 

“And the princess has risen!” Spider teases, sitting down in his chair and scooting closer to you. You raise your head and realize he had placed your breakfast tray down in front of you. You shoot him an annoyed look for his comment, aware at how you were always the last to wake up. 

Despite always waking up late, you barely slept, staying up late at night stuck in your own thoughts, it was going to be a hard adjustment to wake up earlier.

You reach over and pick a grape and pop it into your mouth, chewing sluggishly as your eyes slowly blink open. 

“Hurry up, usually i’m out the door by now but I thought id wait for you” The statement pulls a smile at your lips, you straighten up and pull your arms above your head to stretch. Spider’s not the most patient or thoughtful person you know, but you’ve grown to appreciate little moments like these, softness peaking out of the nonchalant exterior he puts up. 

-

The difference you feel when you open your eyes is immediate, maybe it’s the fact that your avatar isn’t sick like your human body is, but there’s something else. The smell of the forest, the rustle of the village and jungle outside of your tent, the air is fresh, moist and sticking to your skin compared to the sterile air of the lab.

It still dark, just a hint of light streaming in through the cracks and makeshift windows of your tent. You pull yourself up from the hammock and take a moment to look around your tent, having been too giddy to really take it in last night. It’s empty, save for a table and some bowls, and of course your hammock and a few spare furs Kiri brought you. It’s not quite homey, a guest room at best, but your room back at the lab isn't much better. The blinding white walls and medical equipment just inches away from your bed always made it feel more like a hospital than a home, so this tent is already a step up.

You run your hand along the walls, feeling the material beneath your fingers, squinting to see the intricate weaving and texture. You want to decipher what it was made out of, what plant, what the technique was, why that plant, when did they find out that plant and that technique worked best. You furrow your brows, you can’t place what it was made out of, it reminds you of the cloth of Jake's battle band but thicker. 

You run your eyes across the rest of the tent, looking for a clue when the blanket covering the entrance flaps open. Your freeze, your head snapping towards the entrance, making eye contact with Neteyam. He’s just barely visible, peaking in, holding the blanket aside with his forearm. For a moment he examines you, looking you up and down before glancing around your hammock. You’re frozen in place, hands sweating under his gaze unsure of what to say.

His eyes come back to you and it feels like there’s a dumbbell in your chest. “You are up.” he notes, his voice carrying through the silence of your hammock. You glance down at your hands, wringing your fingers together.

“Norm told me it would be a good idea” You didn’t mean for your voice to come out in a whisper, you’re worried he didn’t even hear you but he nods. 

A moment passes before he speaks “You should join us for breakfast” a brief smile presses against his lips before it's covered by the flap, you stare at the spot he stood for a moment before taking a deep breath. 

You’re met with the village, alive and waking up, preparing for the works of the day. You’re only a few feet behind Neteyam, meeting his eyes when he briefly glances back at you. You follow behind him anxiously, resisting the urge to look around, wanting to seem as small as possible when you feel the stares follow you.

You speed up your pace, catching up to Neteyam, hoping his presence will shield you from the intensity and distaste that seemed to stab into your skin. 

In contrast, Neteyam seems to embody power, with others nodding in his direction when he passes by. despite the feeling on eyes on you, you're almost completely ignored when in Neteyam's presence. Warriors and hunters looking to him with respect and idolization, domestics and gatherers watching him with fondness and curiosity, unmated women unable to keep their eyes off of him.

You wonder what a spectacle you two must be, the chief's son who stays humble under the bows of respect from others, and the outsider stuck by his side, suffocating under the intense air around him.

Neteyam notices your unease but does little to acknowledge you, he’s still unsure of you. You’re harmless, raised by scientists loyal to his people, close friends with his siblings, and the sister of an extension of his family, rationally he shouldn’t have any hesitation in your presence.

But rationality is quick to become scarce, he’s learned. Yesterday he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, analytical of the unknown sky person Eywa brought him to. Today; he can’t bring himself to look at you, unappreciative of the way his body and mind freezes at the mere thought of you.

The only other time he’s felt this was when he came face to face with a pack of nantang, unable to draw his bow or knife, only able to dodge the beast that lunged for him when he heard his sister scream for him. 

His uncertainty isn’t absurd, you’re not a danger but he doesn't know you. He’s never actually met someone new, everyone in his life is someone he’s known, even the Na’vi he doesn't know have been present long enough to never raise a second thought in Neteyam’s mind.

You’re a complete mystery to him, you’ve lived not even that far away for 17 years, he’s known your brother for as long as he can remember, and his siblings have apparently been visiting you since before they knew how to hunt. Yet somehow, your mere existence has seemed to go unheard of by him.

He watches as you sit down next to him nervously, a close but comfortable distance, and starts fiddling with your fingers. You look severely out of place, still wearing your human clothes and keeping your head down, but you seem invisible almost. Like he could look away for a moment and you’d blend in with the background instantly, like if he reached out and touched you, you’d dissipate into the air.

He considers testing the theory, watching you out of the corner of his eyes. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring until Kiri lunged at you from behind, wrapping her arms around your neck and pulling your back to her chest, nuzzling her cheek against yours.

You yelp before being thrown into a fit of giggles. “Kiri, do not scare me like that!” You place your hands on her forearms that rest against your collar bones. She pulls you back further, positioning herself on her knees so she can rest her chin atop your head. 

“Y/n, you are are up early.” She teases, rolling the ends of your loose hair between her fingers. You tilt your head back in an attempt to get a better look at her when you see Lo’ak pop up from behind her, leaning over his sister to poke his finger at your cheek.

“Yeah aren't you usually like, just going to sleep by now?” He places his hands on Kiri’s shoulders for stability as he leans over you both to place his face in front of yours, his braids hanging down. You stick your tongue out and push at the side of his head, you thought that since you technically complied with what he wanted by leaving the lab, he’d give up his pestering habits he developed over the years.

Whenever he felt like you were paying too much attention to the computer or something else he blamed for your disinterest in leaving the lab, he’d do anything he could to get in the way of it.

“I’m not up by choice” you state, keeping eye contact with the na’vi as he repositions to be sitting next to you. “I’m just as surprised as you are” a grin spreads across your face in sync with the boy next to you, you hear Kiri sigh before she pinches your cheek.

Neteyam watches your interaction with his siblings, he wouldn’t be surprised if he has whiplash from how quickly your entire demeanor changed, how differently you act with people who aren’t him. Just seconds ago you looked like you were ready to lie down and melt into the ground, now you were much more relaxed, the quiver in your lips replaced with a loud grin.

He didn’t know that you being up at this time was apparently unusual, he half expected it when he came to check up on you. You didn’t tell him that was an ordinary occurrence, but you sure didn’t tell him it wasn’t one. The information you offered his siblings doesn’t contrast what you told him, in fact you didn’t tell him much, not that he asked for much, but it’s vastly different, much more personal.

His point is driven home when Tuk comes bounding through the crowd and throws herself into your arms. “Y/n! Y/n! So it’s true!!” The young girl cries, she wraps her arm around your neck and plops herself down onto your thigh. Her eyes beam up to you, a massive smile stretching across her face as she stares at you in awe.

A soft giggle escapes your lips as you wrap your arms around her and pull her closer, her back against your chest. You smile, repeating her name in a fondness their mother often does. Tuk nuzzles herself into your hold, grabbing your hand and holding it in front of her face to marvel at.

Tuk sputters out as many comments as she can while you and Kiri giggle at her excitement, Lo’ak rolls his eyes and falls back from his heels to sit flat on his butt. 

“Are you coming with us today?” Tuk’s question makes both you and Neteyam pause, making brief eye contact before she babbles on about what she has planned. “I wanna collect fruit! I reeaaallly think you’d like Yovo, it’s so sweet and-” 

Neteyam reaches over and places a hand on her head, she turns her attention to her brother, her excitement not faltering. He offers her a soft smile before speaking “I’m sorry Tuk-tuk, but it’s my job to teach Y/n” He watches as her head tilts, Kiri and Lo’ak’s attention on him now too. “That means I have her today.”

A stiff pout reaches Tuk’s lips, she glances up to you for some kind of consolation but you simply offer her an apologetic smile. 

“I’m sorry Tuk, but I promise I'll still spend time with you” You brush a braid that fell in her face behind her ear “and once I’m done with my training then we’ll have more time together than ever!” She tilts her head, considering it for a moment, she glances between you and Neteyam before burying her head into your chest.

“You promise?!” 

“I promise”

You’re so sweet with his sister, the softest and fondest smile on your lips. 

He can’t explain the unpleasantness he feels.

-

Neteyam doesn’t look back as he strides through the forest, he knows you’re behind him, your raucous stumbling letting him know you’re just a few feet behind him.

You, on the other hand, struggle to keep up with him. His long strides and adept knowledge of the forest give him an advantage you can’t dream of attaining. You try to keep your eyes on him, not wanting to lose him in the forest, but you keep having to look to the ground to watch where you’re stepping. 

You doubt Neteyam would let you get lost, you don’t know how long he had followed you, but you know that you weren’t alone for the majority of your time in the forest yesterday. You still try to keep up, jumping over logs and narrowly dodging trees and other sudden obstacles. 

A branch jutting out from a nearby bush snags at your shirt, feeling the pull, you immediately turn around to undo the catch, but your foot catches on a surfaced root as you step back. A yelp leaves your lips before you even begin to fall, you throw your arms out to try and find stability in something but it’s useless.

You pull your arms up to protect your head when a pair of hands find purchase under your armpits. Neteyam pulls you up and towards himself, peeking his head over to see the source of your fall as you straighten yourself out.

“Must I carry you?” A smile perks at the corners of your lips but you quickly smush it away. You shake your head and turn to face him, his head tilts forward as he examines you. “You are like a baby, learning to walk” he speaks lamely.

You smile shyly “I have a hard enough time walking in my human body, this will definitely be a learning curve” you try to joke but it falls flat as he scrunches his brows and tilts his head in confusion. He stares at you like he’s trying to speak to you through his eyes, like he’s saying a million things and you’re just not getting it.

After a moment he shakes his head and turns around, continuing his path through the forest. His pace is slower, you notice when you struggle less to follow him. You tread the forest for a few more minutes, you try to keep your focus on Neteyam, knowing that this wouldn’t just be a leisurely walk, but you can’t help the way the forest captivates you.

The weight in your stomach grows with every step, every new specimen you get a glance of, you can’t explain what the feeling is, but you don’t want it to go away.

You snap your attention to Neteyam when he stops abruptly, he looks up to the trees and glances at the surrounding flora. 

“What is around us?” He asks, his question catching you off guard. Vague yet intense questioning must run in the family…

You glance around, taking in the forest and vines, plants and creatures growing and living around you. “The forest” You’re technically not wrong, but you know there’s more to it than that so you scramble to say more before he comes to resent your shelteredness more than he probably already does. “Life, plants and animals”

Again, you’re not wrong, but the look he gives you tells you that you’re off the mark. He keeps his gaze on you, looking at you from over his shoulder before turning his attention to a short bush-like plant on the ground. He bends down and plucks two large seeds from the center bulb of the blue plant.

Lionberries, or Cynaroidia decumbens, it’s one of the lesser researched plants, but still well known. He stands up and hands you the seed, carefully you take it and cup it in your hand. 

You study it for a moment before looking up to him. “This is the umm.. Kllpxiwll?” You speak slowly, wanting to get the pronunciation right, he tilts his head and nods, a small smile on his lips.

“Kllp-xi-wll” He repeats, sharpening his pronunciation in the beginning “You know of it?” he steps closer and takes a bite out of the second seed. Nervously you glance from the seed to him and nod.

You fiddle with the seed in your hand, feeling the texture and density of it for yourself. “I’ve studied the logs Grace made about the forest” Your eyes dart around the trees, landing on different vines and plants, names popping in and out of your head “um uh this is good for protein right?” 

He nods carefully, he takes another bite out of the seed and motions towards yours. Nervously you take a bite, it’s an earthy flavor, a little bitter but its mellow enough to be enjoyable, like the piece of dark chocolate Norm found and gave to you years ago.

He steps back towards the plant and plucks one of the leaves, he rubs his fingers across it several times before running his fingers along the tree next to you, a faint blue mark left behind.

“Around us, is our way of life” He speaks in a mellow voice, keeping his eyes on the shapes he lazily draws with the pigment “When ground up, these leaves create a much more vibrant paste that we use for painting”

He turns to you and holds out his hands, one with the half eaten seed and the other covered in the pigment from the leaf. “Everything here is apart of the way of life we have created, a plant is created from the energy of Eywa” He gestures to the green surrounding you “Animals feed on the plant, using the energy for themselves, we then hunt those animals and use that energy”

He steps forward and swipes his thumb down the center of your forehead, leaving a faint blue mark that blends in with the color of your skin “And once we die, we return the energy back to Eywa” His eyes meet yous “and a plant is born”

Slowly you nod your head, it’s basic science, you learned about life cycles when you were 8, when you were first really getting into the scientific part of everything. It’s an easy thing to understand but somehow this feels deeper, it’s more than just the basic life cycle lesson. 

Everything you’ve learned up till now has been through the eyes of a human born on earth, someone who grew up with the way of life that almost destroyed the beautiful planet you stand on now.

You wonder if earth was once this beautiful.

The way humans perceive things is inherently different from the Na’vi, from what you’ve heard, life on earth was kill or be killed, take for yourself and don’t look back. An unimaginable way of life for those on Pandora. So everything you have learned isn’t wrong, scientific wise it might be more than the Na’vi themselves may know, but something tells you that it’s not right either. Perhaps it’s the perspective you’ve learned it through, it’s the same information, but completely different meanings.

You knew that things would be different outside of the lab, being an avatar, but the revelation makes your mind feel paralyzed. It’s barely been a day since you found out you had an avatar at all and you can already feel the humanity of your existence being challenged.

Neteyam saw the change happen, the way your eyes widened and you weren’t just listening to him, but you were hearing him. A smirk passes over his lips as he turns and starts walking away, knowing you’ll follow behind him.

-

You're exhausted to say the least. Your legs ache from the almost constant walking, the bottoms of your feet sting from the scrapes and pricks from the unforgiving forest floor, your stomach turns and you wonder if you ate too much or too little before you eagerly followed the Olo’eyktan’s son on this journey. 

You had been walking for hours, Neteyam wanting to waste as little time as possible. Your head hurt from the constant quizzing he started after you revealed your years of knowledge on the research of Pandora. 

You thought you had been making progress with him, his stone demeanor faltering, until your exhaustion got the better of you.

He’d point at a plant or passing animal and you’d have to name it and everything you knew about it. The increasing venom in his stares when you pronounced something wrong only worsened your anxiety, resulting in a less than satisfactory performance.

You pronounced it wrong, you were thinking of a different thing, you didn’t know enough about it, you were just flat out wrong. You just wanted the ground to swallow you whole, you know that you don’t know everything but you’ve studied Pandora your whole life, you know a lot and he’s definitely being to nit picky. It’s your first day being outside of the lab for christ sake! You try to be patient, not let his words affect you, but his snappy comments and rather mean words make you wonder why he even agreed to this in the first place.

“Skxawng, wrong again.” he scoffs, skillfully climbing over a large fallen branch and continuing on, not even waiting for you. The branch is arched and high up, propped up against another tree enough to see through the bramble and vines hanging below it. The tangled vines are too thick to go through, the brush to your sides the same, leaving you with only the option to go over. 

You bite your lip and reach your arms up to try to climb the fallen branch but you can’t find a good grip, it’s suspended in the air enough for you to have to almost rely entirely on upper body strength. You grip your fingers into subtle grooves but your fingernails start to sting, so you pull them away. You step back, considering going around it when you notice Neteyam had stopped, you can see his still figure though the vines in front of you.

He stands watching you, narrowing his eyes and observing you. If you went around, you feel it would be failing whatever test you think he’s putting you through. He can’t not teach you, if anything he should understand your hesitation and inability to travel like he does, it would just show him what he needs to help you with more.

But you want to impress him, show him that you’re not just some human that wants to learn for fun, prove yourself worthy of his teaching.

So you take several steps back, eyes scanning the scene when you spot a thick vine hanging from the tree the branch is propped against. Quickly you stride over and pull at it, testing its stability. When it does give, you smile and back up a few steps. You wrap the vine around your hand and pull yourself up, throwing your other hand up and gripping the vine and pulling yourself up till you're at height with the branch. You brace your feet against the free, stabilizing yourself on one before throwing the other over the thick branch. 

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you once you’ve let go of the vine and you look down. You actually did it. You bite your lip in excitement and swing your other leg over before jumping off and landing on the ground with a thud. 

You’re a little disoriented, admittedly, having never jumped from such a height, but you’re on your feet and have no sprained or broken limbs. You whip your head up to meet Neteyams, an excited smile on your lips, full teeth. 

He looks you up and down before nodding and turning around. “You are a fast learner, but here…” He looks at you from over his shoulder, gesturing around you “There is no room to hesitate or make a mistake.”

Without a second thought, he continues walking through the forest. You realize what an advantage being blue is, the farther you go into the forest, the more you really have to pay attention as to not lose him. You wonder how he was able to stalk you so well yesterday without even being close or in sight.

You walk for about another half hour, reciting the names and purposes for plants and different animals you pass by, often repeating the ones that show up more than once. You struggle to climb the trees when he insists on it, you’re slow but you manage to make it a fair way up. You can see one of the branches, eagerly, you reach over to pull yourself up to it when you loose your grip.

You scream embarrassingly loud as you fall, grabbing tightly onto the branch or vine you can get a hold of. You still for a moment, still suspended in air, you’re about to take a breath of relief when it snaps and you’re falling again.

The Na’vi are cat-like, you wonder if your avatar wasn’t combines with human DNA if you’d land on your feet, if that happens to the Na’vi in the first place. 

Your survival instincts aren’t… good. Anyone raised in the forest would surely do better than closing their eyes and freezing as soon as they feel any type of fear or pain, if you don’t die from the fall then you’re going to die from embarrassment and humiliation.

You can only wonder what Neteyam must be thinking when you feel yourself stop, the ground isn’t as painful as you thought it would be. In fact you don’t even feel the ground, you’re still half suspended in the air.

Slowly you open your eyes to a worried Neteyam, his eyes are scanning your body for any sign of injury before they meet yours. You grimace, about to apologize for your oafishness when he kneels down and carefully sets you down. 

You’re on your knees and he’s grabbing your arms, inspecting them with a frown on his face. You silently let him, still frazzled by the experience and not wanting to bother him. His hands ghost across your skin when they land on your shirt, torn at the bottom and along the side up your your armpit. 

It doesn’t sting, so you assume the rip is the worst of the damage. After a moment he pulls back and glances over you one more time before meeting your eyes. “Are you ok?” The question snaps you out a state you didn’t realize you were in.

His face is serious, all you can do is nod. A beat passes and he nods and sits back, he stares at you for a moment. “You climbed well…” The statement is awkward, maybe because you’re still in shock but you take a moment before responding.

“I fell” your voice is quiet, you have to clear your throat after it comes out raspy and crackly. 

“You made it far” He keeps his gaze on you, intense as always “I am surprised you didn’t fall sooner” You glance up and see a smirk sneaking onto his lips. A quiet chuckle escapes your lips, you wrap your arms around yourself and shift so your legs are folded and you’re no longer on your knees.

“I’m surprised I’m still alive” You joke, rolling your eyes and looking back up to the spot you fell from. Neteyam furrows his brows before leaning forward and pushing at your shoulder.

“You wouldn’t have died” he states, you raise your brow questioningly and he looks up to the tree before pursing his lips “You would have just… hurt a lot” He adds, a wry smile forming on his face.

You roll your eyes again before laughing “I don’t think Norm and Max would ever let me leave my room again” You lean back further and hit the tree, letting all your weight rest against it. “Injuring my avatar in less than 24 hours? I definitely would have thought i’m cursed” 

He tilts his head, confused again by your statement, but chooses to drop it. “I think my dad would skin me if i came back and the daughter of his closest friends was injured” 

You let out a laugh “Considering how you’ve been able to save me from myself several times, it wouldn’t be your fault at all” You point out, you loom down and start drawing random shapes in the dirt. “Plus i doubt he would care much, maybe he’d be upset but no way you’d take the fall for it.”

He shakes his head “He would definitely care, plus you’re my responsibility” He lazily points to you “You’re like a baby” you roll your eyes “It’s my job to teach you, if you get hurt it’s because i failed to teach you.”

Theres a beat of silence before you frown “That’s stupid” you mumble, keeping your focus on the array of lines and crudely drawn shapes in the same spot of dirt “I’m not helpless” you state. You glance up for a moment only to be met with a raised brow. “I’m not! I mean I’m here because the Tsahik saw some kind of worth in me”

You feel that churning in your stomach you always get before you retreat back to your room, curling up on your bed and pulling up a research log or movie to occupy yourself with. This is the longest you’ve been around someone who wasn’t one of your dads in… years.

Spider, Kiri, and Lo’ak would come around a lot, but it wasn’t for long and when it was, all the attention was on an argument Kiri and Lo’ak were having or Spider, never you. You don’t know what you’re doing, you don’t know anything about actually being in the forest or talking to people. Lo’ak and Spider did most of the talking, it was easy to listen and occasionally egg them on.

Neteyam, he didn’t speak. Silence around him was deafening, it wasn’t the kind of silence you could have with Kiri or your dads, it suffocated you, so you talked. You talked to fill the space but you don't know how to talk! You’ve made it this far but the lump forming in your throat makes you think you’re going to throw up before you can carry on the conversation.

He stares at you for a moment “Why else would I be teaching you?” The statement strikes you. 

You stare blankly at the ground beneath you, trying to decipher his words, trying to decipher how you feel about them. 

Before you can decide, he stands up and nods for you to do the same. 

“Lead us home” 

A moment passes

“... huh?”

He gestures to the direction you came from “Lead us home, we are not that far out.” Slowly you tilt your head, staring out into the deep forest before looking back to him.

“You’re serious?” It comes out quieter than you mean, nervous. He nods.

“I am here, we will not get lost” He steps out of the way and reaches for your upper arms, nudging you closer “I trust you were paying attention?” 

You nod, you were definitely paying attention, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of what’s around you, but you’re nowhere near confident enough to lead yourself back home. Going alone far into the woods yesterday was simply a one-off situation, excitement completely taking over your sense of logic. 

Another beat passes and you don't make any move to start leading you both home. You look down to the floor, much more interested in the flowing grass than the multiple different looks Neteyam could be giving you. Nervously you wring your hands and bite your lip.

Neteyam watches you for a moment before sighing. You were making so much progress, the park he saw in you yesterday came out, only for a moment before retreating back, and he was faced with the nervous girl that seemingly only came out when he did something. 

Maybe he was pushing you too far, but he wanted to get this over with. He doesn’t know what to think of you and he doesn’t want to. You’re a human, a dreamwalker that just so happened to be interested enough in Pandora to catch Eywa and his grandmother's eye. 

His father was once in your place but that was different, not only was he Toruk Makto, but he made a choice to join the Na’vi and stay on Pandora. He had an entire life back on earth, everything he ever knew, and he gave it up to protect and learn from the people. You don’t have much of a choice, yeah you could choose to stay in the lab, reject his grandmother’s offer to learn, but why would you? There’s nothing else for you. He doesn’t doubt Eywa’s judgment, but he wonders if it would be the same if the choices weren’t so… definite.

“Fine, but tomorrow you will learn.”

-

You’re exhausted when you get back to the village, you pull up enough energy to entertain Tuk, listen to her story about her day. Your voice is quiet but smooth when you respond, she nuzzles closer to you everytime you speak, seemingly making her sleepy.

Kiri and Lo’ak sit around you asking about your training, you honestly don’t want to talk about it but you don’t want to give them the wrong idea, so you give them vague and brief answers. It doesn’t take them long to pick up the vibe and change the subject, at least it doesn’t take Kiri long, Lo’ak needed more of a harsh nudge to his side from his sister when he asked a probing question to get the memo.

As soon as you eat, you go back to your hammock tent to sleep, waking up in the pod almost immediately.

The headache you get is splitting, a hissed groan escaping your dry throat. Norm is at your side with a glass of water “Hey kid, you came out at just the right time, dinner is about ready” He places a hand on the back of your head as you take the glass and gulp down the water as fast as you can.

He helps you over to the table where Max sits across from you and slides a screen over. You look over it but only look back up at him confused.

“I thought we could open the Avatar program back up, a little un-officially but you’re the youngest Avatar driver in action, and the only one trained by the Omaticaya, after Jake.” He explains, pulling the screen back and replacing it with a food tray. Carefully you scoop a piece of food into your mouth.

“You’ve watched enough logs for me to not have to explain them” a smile creeps onto both your mouths. Look down to your food and think. 

“Why?” you finish chewing the food in your mouth and swallow before continuing “I mean the research wouldn’t exactly benefit us, it’s not like we have any inexperienced drivers or scientists readily available to test something new” 

He chuckles, shaking his head “Kid, if we wanted successful research that would ‘benefit’ us, we wouldn’t have become ‘rogue humans’ and stayed on a planet that doesn’t want science at all.” You look down at your food and consider his words.

And with that, the Avatar program opened again. After eating dinner you sit down in front of the video camera and talk about your experience.

It was therapeutic, especially when you did them late at night when you were completely alone. You talked about how weird it was to be in a new body, a healthy one. Being able to walk and run, feel the forest floor and see the forest.

Talking about Neteyam’s lesson was more or less something you wanted to avoid. You were embarrassed but you also didn’t know how to talk about Neteyam. You had this preconceived notion of him, you didn’t take it to heart but it was still your only knowledge of him. You couldn’t decide if it was right or not, you couldn’t decide how you feel about him. 

You didn’t get to talk to Spider much, being busy with the log and then falling asleep almost immediately. You didn’t get much time at breakfast, waking up late because you spent so much time recording your log. So when Spider was out the door, your link pod was closing and you were in the jungle, laying in your hammock as the slimmer of sunlight creeps into your tent.

You’re not so tired anymore, the perks of being an Avatar you guess. You don’t hesitate this time, leaving your hammock and joining the bustle of the village with as much confidence as you can muster. 

“Tuk! Don’t go so fast! Mom wants you with her for breakfast!” You hear Kiri yell, before you can really process anything, a small figure is slamming into your legs, almost knocking you over.

“Y/n! Y/n!” She grabs both your hands in hers and starts jumping up and down, she’s way to energetic for this early in the morning. A fond smile creeps onto your lips and you reach down, scooping her into your arms and bringing her close for a hug.

“Oh tuk tuk tuk..” You murmur her name as she wraps her arms around you neck, her hands fiddling with your loose and messy hair. You smile as Kiri jogs up to both of you, smiling and reaching over to place a hand on Tuk’s back.

“Tuk you cannot run off like that!” Kiri scolds as calmly as she can, you chuckle as Tuk just whips her head around with a quick “Sorry Kiri!” before turning back to your hair, mumbling something about the beads she wanted to braid into it.

You offer her a smile “Good morning Kiri” you giggle, she stares at Tuk for a moment before turning her attention to you.

“Good morning Y/n, more training today?” She asks, Lo’ak walking up next to her, raising his brows to say he’s wondering the same thing.

You nod, smiling as Lo’ak rolls his eyes. “God you’re gonna have such a stick up your ass by the time Neteyam is done with you” You gasp as Kiri punches his shoulder, both of you gesturing to a now confused and curious Tuk.

She looks at you wide eyes, humming a confused noise before you tell her nothing was wrong, she shrugs and goes back to the loose braids she was making with the underside of your hair. You glare at Lo’ak as he puts his hands up and laughs. “Point proven” He mumbles out, being met with another sharp punch to his shoulder.

“Well i’m glad you finally met Neteyam, making up for all the years you hung out with us but never him huh?” Kiri nudges your arm, wriggling her eyebrows. You roll your eyes and shake your head.

“If i’m gonna learn the ways of the people then i’m going to be spending a lot of time with him.” You state with a sign, you roll your eyes as Kiri and Lo’ak both chuckle, making comments about your ‘soon to be closeness’ with their brother.

Tuk pulls back for a second, a wide and curious smile on her face. “Y/n!” she whisper yells, you turn your head so your ear is facing her, playing along with her childish habits. She giggles before leaning in and ‘whispering’  even louder “Do you have a crush on Neteyam!?”

Her question catches you off guard, making you freeze, a slight blush heating your cheeks. Kiri and Lo’ak, who both unintentionally leaned in to hear Tuk, burst out laughing. Lo’ak with his full chest, doubling over, over dramatic laugh he always does. Kiri, in contrast, throws her head back and stifles her laugh a bit by covering her mouth with her hand.

You send the two siblings a quick glare before looking back to Tuk. “No no Tuk, he’s just teaching me” you’re quick to clarify, flustered by her question. 

She giggles “But if you diiiiid, then you could be my sister!” she exclaims, patting your shoulders excitedly. Kiri and Lo’ak look to you, you widen your eyes as if to ask how on earth such a young child knew all this?

Kiri raises a brow to Lo’ak who shakes his head and mouths “it wasn’t me”

You shake your head and look down to Tuk. She’s a persistent girl, she latches onto an idea and rarely ever gives it up, her easily distracted demeanor misleading you to think she’d forget, only for her to bring it up with as much determination months later.

You think for a moment before nuzzling your head into her cheek making her giggle. “Oh but Tuk-Tuk I love you so much already!” You glance up to Kiri who steps forward and places her hand on Tuk’s head. 

“Yeah Tuk, Y/n doesn’t need to mate with our brother to be your sister” Kiri explains, Tuk looks back to her and thinks for a moment before smiling and turning her head back to you, nodding vigorously. Kiri leans into your ear and whispers “Nice save”

You give her a smile and lean closer to her “You too” you say under your breath. Lo’ak appears from behind you both, throwing his arms over both your shoulders, wedging himself between you and the older sister.

“Besides, Tuk, if Y/n were to mate with anyone it would be me!” He states proudly, shooting you a sly grin. Before you can react, he’s looking over his shoulder and calling out to someone behind you. “Isn’t that right Neteyam?”

You can feel your body freeze, you feel your blood run cold as you turn your whole body, Lo’ak briefly taking his arm off you to turn with you, placing his arm across your shoulders again and leaning against you more.

Neteyam stands, several feet away, carrying several logs of wood, a confused look on his face. “What?” he asks, looking between you and his siblings. You can hear Kiri angrily asking Lo’ak ‘what the fuck is wrong with him’

Lo’ak grins at you before looking back to Neteyam “If me and Y/n mated then she and Tuk could be sisters!” His voice is loud in your ear, his hand reaching up from next to you head to pinch your cheek. Lo’ak’s always had a bit of a flirty personality, it was a joke between the two of you to flirt sometimes, always acting out dramatic scenarios as a kid, but it’s been a while since he showed any form of interest outside of his usual flirt.

Neteyam looks between the two of you, Lo’ak is smirking like an asshole, tilting his head back in the defiant way he started doing the past few years. Tuk is looking at him bright eyed and shaking her head up and down, her intentions much more innocent than her brothers, genuinely excited at the idea of the girl she’s been so fond of being apart of the family.

Kiri seems to share his confusion, looking at their brother with an annoyed and baffled look. She turns her attention to him, shaking her head, the scene resembled the almost everyday occurrences when they were kids. Kiri compliant with Lo’ak’s antics while avoiding being an enabler and encouraging Neteyam to let it go. Neteyam and Lo’ak at a standstill, except this time its different, it’s no longer about Lo’ak unable to hold back from his adventurous personality and Neteyam only wanting the best for him.

The air between You and Neteyam as he makes eye contact with you is thick. This situation mirrors the game they’ve been playing their whole lives except you are here. 

“Yeah” his voice is flat. You stand there awkwardly, eyes following his retreating figure. Lo’ak cackles and Kiri scolds him more loudly. 

“C’mon it was funny! And I didn’t do anything wrong!” You hear Lo’ak defending himself from Kiri, reasoning it’s not a big deal and Neteyam could take a joke. “C’mon Y/n, stop pouting like that, It wouldn’t be that bad if we mated”

You finally pull your eyes off of Neteyam, who was now sitting in front of the fire, meeting Lo’ak’s grinning face. This is the boy you’ve known almost all your life, the one who’d stay in your room for hours on end despite how cramped it was for him. It’s Lo’ak.

You smile lamely “What is that Kiri says?” You raise your eyebrows, Kiri stepping closer and flicking Lo’ak’s forehead. “I would drink acid” you articulate, leaning into his face, grinning. He rolls his eyes and laughs, pushing you back by your shoulder.

You were focused on recovering from the situation that you failed to notice Neteyams eyes on you.

More drama and romance is to come! been a little busy but i've def got some ideas lol

[annie115]

One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready Pt. 1

MV1 x Driver!Reader

Authors note: Part one ? I‘m not sure if i make this a series, we’ll see :)

English is not my first language, sorry for mistakes

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (stay safe!), p in v, hard language

MINORS DNI!!!

“Okay y/n we are in lap 50, keep pushing and bring it home! You can get him!” your engineer was telling you over your radio. You knew that you were in lap 50. You knew that you had to keep pushing to get Max. This whole race was a mess. Three yellow flags, two safety cars, one red flag. You were exhausted and were happy when it was finally over in three more laps. Max was 1.8 seconds ahead of you. Charles was 5.7 seconds behind you, so no worries about him. You kept pushing the throttle to the limit, braked in the corners and pushed on the outsides again. The blood was rushing in your ears. All of a sudden, Max lost control over his car and stood in the middle of the track while you were about to crash into him with over 280 km per hour. “FUCK!” you screamed while pushing the brake to the fullest. You spun your steering wheel to not crash into him and managed to stop a few millimetres in front of him. Your cars were standing in front of each other, one facing the left side of the track, one facing the right side. You breathed heavily, trying to get your pulse under control. That could have ended badly. Really bad. Luckily Charles and the others were far behind, that´s why they were able to stop when the red flag got swung. “Y/N, are you okay? Please answer!” your engineer said worried. You didn’t hear him the first times he asked because of all the adrenalin that was rushing through your body. “Sorry. Yes, I am okay”, you answered. “Can I get out and look after Max?” you then asked. “Yes. Permission to get out”, your engineer answered. You pushed yourself out of your seat and left the car, heading over to Max who was also leaving his car. “Are you okay?” you ask while taking off your helmet. You´re technically not allowed to do that while on the track, but you felt like you couldn’t breathe. “I´m okay”, he said and also took off his helmet. “I have no idea what happened. Everything turned off, all of a sudden. I couldn’t brake, I couldn’t steer, nothing”. He kicked the car of anger.

The race was over and wouldn’t be restarted. The FIA decided to not finish the last two laps and kept the results as they were. Max first place, you second place, Charles third. You were a little angry, since you were sure that you could have gotten past Max, but it was a double podium for Ferrari, so it was still a good result. It was the second season you were driving for Ferrari now, side by side with Charles. He was the best teammate you could have imagined and you had a really good relationship. Besides the rumours that you two were dating you really were just colleagues, nothing more. Although, he was hot and maybe there have been one or two times where you almost ended up fucking in the bathroom of the club, drunk. It never happened because one time you had to throw up and the second time he had to throw up, so no good conditions to stick your tongue into each other’s mouths.

Although the race wasn’t finished the FIA wanted to celebrate the winners as usual, with the podium ceremony. You weren’t in the mood for that. You couldn’t stop thinking about what could have happened. If you wouldn’t have stopped like that, if you wouldn’t have managed to control your car like that, you and Max wouldn’t be able to stand here. Maybe even worse. But you had no choice. Putting on your smiley face you stepped on the podium and received your award, Max and Charles next to you. After spraying around with the champagne, you headed to the pit lane. You wanted to find a place where you could be alone for just a minute before the interviews started. Unfortunately, it was too late. A journalist grabbed your arm and asked for an interview. How rude.

After giving a few interviews you had to get ready for the press conference. You were still exhausted. You pushed open the door to a little chamber where some racing suites were stored to get a minute for yourself. It was dark in the room and you leaned against the door and sighed. You switched on the lights and shrieked. “Fuck! What are you doing here?” you asked as you saw Max standing at the other side of the little room. “I needed a moment”, he answered and eyed you. “Yeah, me too”, you confessed. He sighed. “Fuck, y/n if it wasn’t for you..” he started without finishing the sentence. You frowned. “What?” He sighed again. “The way you had the control over your car, the way you stopped and turned it so we wouldn’t crash. I don’t know if anybody could have done that. You saved our asses.” You shook your head. It was uncommon that Max spoke about other drivers abilities. “Anybody would have done that”, you said but he shook his head. “No”, he said and took a step closer to you. “You´re incredible.” You felt the heat rising in your racing suit. “You´re fucking awesome”, he mumbled as he came even closer to you, eyeing your lips. You breathed in sharply, trying to think straight. He looked sexy, as always after the race. His hair was standing in all directions and his face had some imprints from the helmet. He had already taken off his racing suit so that it was hanging down from his waist. His dark blue fire proof showed the structure of his muscular body. The way he was eyeing your body made you swallow hard. Before you could move, his hands were on your hips, pushing you against the door. You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck as he slammed his lips on yours, aggressively playing with your tongue. You moaned as he lifts you up. His lips wandered down your body, searching for a spot that would drive you insane. As he finally found the little spot on your throat, you moaned loudly. „That’s my girl, let everybody in the paddock now how much you want me“, he gasped which only made you moan louder. „Fuck, Max“, you gasped and he smirked against your skin. With a quick movement he managed to open the zippers of your racing suits

His hands were impatiently grabbing your fire proof to get it out of the way. This had nothing to do with romantic or emotions. This was pure, animalistic lust and both of you knew that you had to be quick. The press conference would start in about 10 minutes. He finally managed to get you out of your fire proof when he was already inside of you. His cock filled you up which let you moan uncontrollably. „Fuck, y/n“, Max gasped and pulled your ponytail. “So fucking tight for my cock”, he moaned and moved faster inside of you. The way he spoke to you caused you to be even more wet. “Max” you gasped and he smiled. “That´s right, say my name baby. Let go all over my cock”. His dirty mouth made you crazy, forcing you to reach your climax. As your cunt clenched around his cock he moaned and you felt him pulsing inside you. You threw your head back on your neck when he spread his warm cum inside of you. Out of breath he pulled himself out of you, quickly putting his clothes on. “I needed that”, he said and smirked at you while you were trying to put your fire proof back on. “Me too”, you answered and he gave you a quick kiss on your cheek before leaving the room.

Don’t be a ghost reader, tell me what you think! :)

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

muscle memory

steve harrington x reader

summary: steve might still be in love with nancy wheeler and it kills you. or another time steve is completely oblivious to his own feelings.

a/n: set right before the gangs attack on vecna.

Unrequited love often seems like a flame burning through your chest, especially in youthful times; that’s why the way Steve Harrington stared at Nancy Wheeler, hope baring through his eyes, made you recoil and grip the bottle of vodka in your hand tighter. The three of you were making Molotov cocktails, sitting next to the RV while Nancy took to a saw to her new shoot gun. Max stood idly by, and Robin gave you a little nudge, prying your eyes from the one who held Steve’s affection to her. Steve was chatting but nothing he said register until you noticed his eyes going back to Nancy and you about had it.

“Jesus, Steve, there are far more important things right now than your doomed love life,” you handed off the bottle and rag over to Robin, getting up from the milk crate. “Who cares…”

Steve’s eyes jerked up to you and he frowned. “What’s your problem?”

Robin reached a hand up to yours, but you smacked it away, glaring down at a bewildered Steve. God, he was utterly attractive and plain stupid – it was painfully obvious that Nancy didn’t harbor any old feelings for him and that she seemed perfectly content with the relationship she had with Johnathan Byers. It was incredibly frustrating and excruciating, knowing the one person you loved didn’t even feel an ounce of that emotion for you.

“My problem is that we almost loss Max, for real.  She almost died and we still have a work of shit ahead of us, but all you can do is mope about an old girlfriend who doesn’t like you anymore.”

“Hey, at least I have hope,” he argued, and you laughed, waving him off as you stepped around Robin. Looking to where Eddie and Dustin were, you started towards the duo but turned to Steve with a contempt stare. “You and your hope can go fuck off.”

Robin sat there stunned as Steve stood up, hands on his hips. “Stop being such an asshole…”

Your heart sank and something shifted; a thought came forward and it made you sad realizing that the two of you could even speak to each other like that. Taking a deep breath, you decided none of it really mattered, the anger you felt for Steve at his oblivious nature wasn’t going to help the situation. But the petty part of you gave him a cold smile and told him to “…fuck off.”

Steve’s face fell and his mouth twitched, but Robin quickly gave him a look that prevented him from responding; instead, he sat back down and watched as you walked over to Dustin and Eddie, the latter giving you a smile that turned Steve’s stomach.

“Jesus,” he muttered, picking up a new bottle of vodka, eyes glued to the way Eddie was circling you; he could hear you laughing in the distance and quickly looked over to Nancy. She met his gaze and gave him a small smile before saying something to Max – the two ventured off and Steve glanced over to you again before turning to his best friend. “What’s her problem…”

“You’re such a dingus,” Robin exhausted, smacking him on the arm. He pretended the spot ached, rubbing it as she explained that you were simply just scared. “…like the rest of us, but what’s worse when facing the inevitable doom when the one person you love clearly doesn’t love you back.”

Her words brought Steve’s work to a stop, his hands tightened around the neck of the alcoholic bottle, and he stared at Robin. “What do you mean.”

“Dense, much? She is utterly and romantically in love with you, Steve – has been for a while now, but no, you can’t stop yakking on about Nancy Wheeler. Not that there’s anything wrong with Nancy per say but stop and think about whose been there for you – especially after last summer. I know about all the late-night calls.”

Guilt riddled Steve’s eyes. “You do?”

Robin, wide eyed, nodded. “Oh, yeah, of course she never disclosed what was said during those last night conversations, but she always came into work like, super tired.��

It was true; he had taken to calling you every time he was having a bad night and you were always there to pick up the receiving end. He’d sit on his bedroom floor, alone at home, and ranted about everything that had happened – everything from Nancy breaking his heart to the Russians druggin’ Robin and him to smaller issues, his prick of a father, finding a better job, and why Hall & Oates were ‘pretty damn’ good. Of course, you’d argue that they weren’t too bad, and Steve would rejoice, “…that says a lot, since all you listen to is Babbling Heads.”

Talking Heads, you would correct him every time – your laugh whispering in his ears as his back melted into the floor of his bedroom.

“Shit,” he whispered, and Robin smiled, patting him on the back.

“I truly do not understand the concept of not realizing you love someone,” she scoffed, taking the bottle from Steve’s hand. She kept rambling on, declaring how oblivious he was, because he never even thought much of Nancy Wheeler until he saw her again, and that if it wasn’t for this whole Vecna thing – he’d still be hitting on girls left and right, all while you stood by his side. Even though he was technically single, she explained, “…it’s a total douchebag move, Steve. She had to watch you flirt with every female that came into the store, and you never noticed the expression on her face. Heartbreak, HEARTBREAK.”

“For Christ sakes, Robin, will you shut up.”

He snapped but quickly held up a hand in apology, Robin allowed it and followed his eyes to where you stood. Eddie was showing you his shield, standing behind you as you held it; his hands were on your waist as he instructed you to thrust it forward, Dustin clapping and cheering. Decent enough, you moved from Eddie’s touch and handed over the shield – the three of you stood around engaged in a conversation that had the three of you laughing.

Steve’s heart sank, the reality of what was happening hit him. He wished that everyone could just go home and be safe, that this Vecna shit could just disappear, and everyone could get back to their lives. He wished he was laying on the floor of his bedroom, ear pressed against the phone, cord tangled around his wrist. The sound of your reassuring voice whispering away the fear and anxiety, until both of you fell asleep.

Nancy and Max came into his view, and he stared at his ex-girlfriend, first love, and analyzed the feeling in the pit of his stomach. She had been the perfect girlfriend, kind and cute – a perfect representation of who he was, when things were normal. When he didn’t have to think much about anything – he was a Harrington, his life clearly mapped ahead for him, but things changed. He changed and the feelings he had for Nancy were muscle memory, a bittersweet reminder of what had been, but will never be again. He didn’t want things to go back to that normal, he liked his life now and who he was – the people in his life, especially you.

“Shit,” he cursed again, this time getting up from the crate. He looked down at Robin and asked if she was sure. “I – I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You kind of sort of already have,” she pointed out.

He ignored her and stared over at you, and he couldn’t recognize the feeling he had; it was something new he had never felt and when you finally met his gaze, his heart raced so fast, he wanted to throw up. You said something to Eddie, and he nodded, turning his attention to his young ward, the two of them dueling it out as you approached the RV, tail wagged between your legs. Steve smiled with a closed mouth and when you asked if the two of you could speak alone, Robin made herself scarce.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, near tears.

“No, you were right,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. You looked down at your shoes, ashamed for the way you acted because it wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t reciprocate the feelings you had. He was still your friend, and you cherished that relationship, and the late-night calls; the secrecy and sworn promises among the trauma bonding and lighthearted banter – if he could never love you romantically, you’d take him platonically, he mattered that much to you.

“No, you were right, Steve. We should have hope in this fight and Nancy is your hope – I shouldn’t have been so harsh, I’m just…scared.”

“I’m scared too,” he confessed, reaching down for your hand. Your senses were shocked from the warmth of his touch, his limber fingers around your waist as you gazed up at him. Steve’s lips pursed into a smile, and he shrugged. “I’m not in love with Nancy, seeing her just brought up old shit – but that stuff doesn’t matter anymore, okay? I –I want to be with you, Jesus, I want us to survive this and be together. That’s what I want.”

His fingers gripped you tightly, holding on for life as you stood there in quiet shock, until he shook your hand and glanced at you nervously. Laughing, you stepped forward and drew him into an embrace; he chuckled, slightly bent over to receive your hug and he closed his eyes when the feeling of home tumbled over the entirely of his being. His arms, strong around you, kept you in place as he pulled back; eyes dipping down to yours.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Steve’s features went soft when you leaned in for a kiss, mouth brushing against his as ‘I love you’ finally left your lips – neither of you aware of the prying eyes watching. Robin stood next to Nancy, the two of them sharing a knowing smile. Max looked on with a sense of pride, noting that you were lucky. Nancy chuckled and stared at her old flame, happy that he had found someone to love him like she couldn’t. “They’re both lucky.”

Max agreed. “Maybe some of their luck will rub off on the rest of us.”

“I hope so,” Nancy chimed, slinging the shot gun over her shoulders. She motioned for Robin and Max to give the two of you some privacy, getting one last glance herself– Steve had his hands on your face, and he said something that made you laugh, which in turn made him grin like a fool. Nancy smiled and turned away just as Steve and you shared a loving kiss. “I really hope so.”

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Fluff ☼

Angst ►

Smut *

Steve's sister ☼

Steve takes care of you when you're sick

Confessions ☼

You and Steve have a conversation after being drugged by the Russians

Harrington ☼

The weather is worse than you expected, but luckily Steve is there to save you

Mess with you

Tommy and Carol don't like you and make fun of you for it, but Steve doesn't plan to sit idly by

Warm ☼

Steve accidentally throws you in the pool and lets you wear his clothes to apologize

Lip balm ☼ gn!reader

In a study session, Eddie learns that lips balms have flavor. Although of course, he does not only keep the theory

Maybe I miss you a little ►(☼)

You and Eddie broke up a long time ago, but when the going gets tough you realize it was all a mistake

Just keep driving *

The boys find Eddie's sketchpad and accidentally see one that brings back too many memories for him.

Only bad dreams ►☼

You and your friends escaped The Upsidedown, but you're having trouble sleeping and Eddie wanna help

Eddie the Banished (Byers!reader) ☼

Eddie helps you have a great time with your little brother

Eddie the Banished part 2 (Byers!reader) ☼

You wonder if you're ready to take the next step with Eddie and when you try it all goes wrong

Discoveries (or Eddie the banished part. 3) (Byers!reader) ☼

You and Eddie are finally dating, but after that a chain of unexpected events is unleashed, including one related to your brother Will [greatwise in this]

For Eddie ►

You realize how difficult life is without him by your side

Green fields

You spend precious time with Eddie and Dustin before the final battle

86, baby! ☼

Eddie finally graduates

Old friends ☼ (adult!Eddie)

It's been years since you were last in Hawkins and when you come back you get into one of those dating activities. Who would have thought that love had always been so close

Complicated freak ►(☼)

You and Eddie have broken up and when he realizes he's going to lose you for good, he decides to do more than just write a song about you

Preppy girl ☼

Eddie doesn't see you for years and when you come back to Hawkins you are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. It doesn't take long for him to start kissing you

Rescuing you ► (vamp!Eddie)

Eddie came back to you, but not in the way you expected. Now it will be necessary to help him come back as your real boy

Parties and exes ☼

Eddie sees you talking to your ex and doesn't miss the opportunity to mark his territory

Hair emergencies ☼

After a stupid thing that Eddie did to his hair, only you can help him

Calmly ►

Eddie is dead reluctant to talk about anything after what happened on the upside down. Luckily you are patient with him and find something perfect to know how he feels without him saying a word

Ahoy! ☼

In some timeline, Starcourt didn't burn down and Eddie was able to go to work selling ice cream. He and Steve make a little bet, from which Eddie comes out happy

Pretty metal ☼

You try to find the perfect birthday present for Eddie. He asks for a kiss, but he never said under what circumstances you had to give it to him

Safe place ►☼

After a bad day, Eddie Munson's arms seem to be the best place to be

Why'd you only call me when you're high? ►

based on the song of the same name

That first meeting ☼

thanks to a school dynamic of introductions you end up finding your ideal boy

I hate you (rivals to lovers) ►☼

you and Eddie Munson know exactly how you feel about each other. Until a moment changes everything and you embark on a journey of discovery about your relationship

D20 ☼

Eddie and Max play an innocent game that inevitably ends up focusing on you

Queen ☼

Eddie hates the sudden crush you're having for a celebrity and when you find out why it turns out to be the cutest thing in the world

A couple of curious cousins (tozier!reader) ☼ (►)

Mike gets a visit from a couple of cousins from Maine and their friends. Eddie gets a date, but the resident monsters of Derry and Hawkins don't hesitate to make an appearance… or something like that [a little bit of Blyer and Reddie]

[liaromancewriter]

Valentine Memories

Premise: When Alan finds a box of childhood memorabilia, Cassie teases Ethan about his romantic past.

Book: Open Heart (post series) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine) Rating/Category: General. Fluff. Words: 1,625

A/N: This is based on an ask I received from @jerzwriter. Submission for @choicesmonthlychallenge To Be prompt "XOXO"; @choicesholidays Valentine's Day prompt "Be my valentine"; @choices-february2023, Day 14 prompt "Valentine's Day"; @choicesficwriterscreations Valentine's Day event.

It was a bright blue winter day with freshly fallen snow dotting the flat green landscape around Interstate 90. They left Boston late enough to avoid the weekend crowds heading off to ski lodges in the vicinity but early enough to make a day of it in Providence.

When the car turned toward I-95, the south-easterly sun’s harsh rays bounced off the windshield. Briefly blinded, Cassie Valentine pulled the visor down and silently cursed.

She meant to grab her sunglasses before leaving the apartment, but she’d overslept and had been in a rush. The last thing she wanted was for Ethan to give her a look that implied he hadn’t truly expected her to be ready on time.

The delectable Dr. Ramsey could be a real troll on occasion.

“Here.”

Cassie looked over to see Ethan holding out a pair of sunglasses with dark plastic lenses. His own were parked on the bridge of his nose, hiding his laser-blue eyes. So she wondered where these had come from. She arched one brow as she put them on, relieved when her eyes no longer squinted against the sun.

“You never seem to have a pair on you when you need them,” he explained, reading her thoughts perfectly. “I picked up a couple of cheap drugstore ones to keep in the car.”

Annoyed at his superior tone, Cassie harrumphed and folded her arms, only to unfold them seconds later as she chuckled at the implication. This wasn’t the first time she’d forgotten her glasses, so she really couldn’t blame Ethan.

“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” She shook her head in amusement.

“Top of the class, Valentine,” he drawled.

Cassie rolled her eyes and turned up the volume instead, singing along to the chorus of The Black Keys’ Wild Child.

They drove in companionable silence towards his childhood home for Ethan’s monthly visit to see his father. Cassie had insisted on coming even though she had made plans to go couch shopping with Bryce. Her friend understood the last-minute notice.

The more their relationship progressed, the more she was determined to make Ethan stop compartmentalizing their lives. Visiting Alan was an important part, especially since Ethan was heartily welcomed into her own family.

As they neared Providence, Ethan exited the interstate and joined traffic winding through the city streets. The scenery outside gradually changed from gentrified neighborhoods to middle-class subdivisions until he turned down a familiar road.

This part of town was older, the streets lined with modest houses, all a bit worse for wear, snow covering pitched roofs and small yards. Cassie spied four young boys in a small park up ahead, throwing snowballs at each other, their laughter ringing through the air.

“Did you ever do that?” she asked, tilting her head to indicate the boys.

Ethan followed her gaze, and his face softened in nostalgia. “As much as possible. You can’t live in New England and not have snowball fights.”

As they neared his father’s house, he slowed the car and parked along the curb.

“My friends and I would pray for a snow day,” Ethan continued, switching off the ignition, his eyes still on the boys. “And when we got one, we spent all day outside building a snow fort and engaging in all-out war. We had complicated hand signals and code words, the whole shebang.”

“Max and I always save the first snowball fight for Tony. Team Double Trouble, you know.” She grinned wickedly. “If he can beat us, he can join a twin activity. Otherwise, it’s Twin Time, Butt Out.”

She laughed in recollection as they exited the car. “Tony hasn’t managed to beat us yet, much to his chagrin.”

Alan must have been watching out for them. Cassie saw him come outside on the porch, rubbing his arms against the cold temperatures. Ethan walked around the front of the car to join her on the sidewalk, taking her hand in his.

“Welcome, welcome,” Alan greeted as they walked up the short steps.

Father and son hugged briefly while Cassie took Alan’s outstretched hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Let’s get out of the cold,” Alan said, waving his hand to have her precede him, with Ethan bringing up the rear. “Had a feeling you’d be near, so I put on a fresh pot of coffee.”

Cassie and Ethan took off their winter boots inside the door, hung up their winter coats in the hallway closet and joined Alan in the living room.

The scent of brewed coffee and lemon furniture polish hung in the air, making Cassie’s nose twitch in appreciation. The furniture was old but well cared for, and there wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere.

She always liked how Ethan’s place was neat and tidy. It looked like this was another trait he had inherited from his father.

Soon they were enjoying their coffee and cookies. Alan caught them up on his happenings, and they did the same. When the talk turned to Ethan’s relatives, Cassie leaned her head on Ethan’s shoulder and settled in to enjoy this glimpse into his life.

A short while later, Alan got up from his seat, reached behind the armchair and lifted a cardboard box off the floor. Ethan’s name was scrawled on the outside in black marker.

“I was cleaning out the attic and came upon this box of your old stuff,” he said, setting the box down on the coffee table. “Thought you might want to go through it, son, and see if there’s anything you want to take back to Boston.”

Brows furrowed, Ethan lifted the flaps slowly. “I’m sure it’s nothing worth keeping.”

“Not so fast, babe,” Cassie cut in, reaching in to grab a thick folder. “Ethan’s report cards, grades one to three,” she read out loud. “Pay dirt.”

Ethan tried to grab the folder, but she simply moved her hand out of reach. She quickly scanned a couple of report cards and nodded in confirmation. She looked over the top of the folder, her green eyes sparkling with laughter.

“Gold stars? Not surprising,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him. “But it says here, ‘Highly intelligent. Needs to think before speaking.’”

“It does not say that,” he protested, swallowing back the rest when she shoved the report card in front of his face, the words clearly written in red pen. “Oh.”

“Never had to worry about his grades,” Alan told Cassie, smiling as his eyes tracked between her and Ethan. “However, I can’t tell you how many parent-teacher meetings ended with, ‘Mr. Ramsey, your son is a gifted student, but he needs to learn to show more respect to his fellow classmates and teachers.’”

Alan mimicked the last, making Ethan utter “Christ!” under his breath and pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah…,” Cassie mused, tapping one finger against her lips as she watched Ethan with a considering look. “That sounds about right. He might be Chief Ramsey now, but his people skills haven’t improved.”

Alan winked conspiratorially at Cassie and picked up the tray with their used coffee cups and plates to carry into the kitchen.

Ethan snatched the file out of her hands and shoved it back inside the box a little too forcefully, causing a thick paper pink card to pop up from the folds. He groaned when Cassie’s eyes lit up, and she tugged the card out before he could stop her.

“Did you make this Valentine’s Day card in class?” Cassie teased, turning the card over, glitter shimmering on her fingertips. “How come you never made me one?”

“You don’t celebrate the thing, remember?” he said, shoving his fingers through his hair. “Certainly makes my life easier, having a girlfriend that doesn’t want the fuss or muss.”

“Au contraire, Dr. Ramsey,” Cassie scoffed, flipping the card open. “I expect both the fuss and muss, just not on the Day That Shall Remain Nameless. You have three hundred and sixty-four days—three sixty-five during a Leap Year—to spoil me rotten.”

She guffawed when she read the message inscribed in purple pen, more glittery hearts sprinkled inside. “Dear Ethan. Please be my valentine. I heart you. So much. XOXO. Melanie.”

Cassie looked up from the card and shared a teasing glance with Alan, who walked back into the room and sat down in the armchair.

She schooled her features and threw Ethan a disgruntled look. “You’ve been holding out on me, babe. Who’s this floozy Melanie? And why does she think she can put the moves on my man?”

“The hell if I know,” Ethan growled. “I don’t even know what grade this is from.”

Cassie examined the card. “Based on the style, glitter usage and mix of cursive and block writing, third or fourth grade would be my guess.”

“Another thing Ethan was never short of,” Alan added, nodding sagely, chin propped on the heel of his hand. “The stories I could tell you about girls dropping by the house, calling at all hours, trying to get his attention. There are probably a few Valentine’s Day cards tucked inside that box. ”

“Not helping, Dad.” Agitated, Ethan shoved off the couch and towered over her, hands on his hips. “And what the hell, Cassie? I didn’t even know you then!”

Ethan knew he’d just been had when Cassie and his dad shared a look and then burst into laughter. She clutched her belly and doubled over, her body shaking with mirth, gasping for air with tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

Ethan did the only thing he could think of to shut her up. He tugged her off the couch and into his arms, framed her face between his hands, and kissed the laughter away.

----------------

All Fics & Edits: @a-crepusculo @annfg8 @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @doriopenheart @genevievemd @headoverheelsforramsey @lucy-268 @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @takemyopenheart @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @openheartfanfics

Ethan & Cassie only: @cariantha @custaroonie @hopelessromantic1352 @mrs-ramsey

[londonharrington]

this love | steve harrington x fem!reader

Y/N and Steve broke up when she left for college, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love each other anymore

notes: part 5/9 of my 100 followers celebration! i have no idea how american colleges/universities work so yeah. au where the s4 ending didn’t, so max and eddie are alive and well :))

these hands had to let them go free, and this love came back to me.

Cyndi Lauper played through Y/N’s speakers as she passed by the sign that says Welcome to Hawkins.

After a grueling first year, Y/N was on her way back to Hawkins for summer break.

She missed this town. It was nothing as compared to Chicago, but for some reason Y/N still loved going back home whenever she can.

She passed through downtown, looking at the scenery, how much changed, what were the new shops and such.

Y/N’s parents were waiting on their front yard as she pulled up. They were all smiles, very evident that they missed their only daughter.

She got out of the car and made a bee-line to her parents, hugging both of them.

“Oh, honey! How’s college? How were the boys and the parties? Oh I bet you had so much fun!” her mom gushed, making her dad shake his head.

“Please, she takes after me. She focused on her studies, didn’t you sweetheart?” he said as her mom snorted.

Their bantering and teasing continued as Y/N looked across the street. She was surprised when she saw a group in the front yard of the house across from hers. All of them with confusion written across their faces, except one. He had a shocked face that turned into a very bright smile as he ran across the street.

“Y/N!” Steve yelled, arms wide open in process, ready to hug the girl.

Her parents stopped their playful argument as Steve made his way to Y/N.

Y/N also ran towards him as he enveloped her into a bone-crushing hug. The same type of hug that makes all of her worries and troubles disappear. The type that she missed the most when she was in Chicago.

“Hi, Steve! How are you?” she said, hugging him back.

“Still the same, still stuck in this town,” he replied with a smile on his as he withdrew from the hug.

This statement made Y/N feel guilty. She remembered all the times they planned their life together. Both of them going to the same campus and then moving in, getting married, and then kids.

But in turn for the worse, Steve didn’t get in to any of the colleges he wanted with his grades. So Steve stuck around in Hawkins. And both of them knew that even if their relationship was strong, it was not strong enough to last a long-distance relationship. They both knew what they had to do.

The day Y/N and Steve broke up was the day before summer break. Steve thought that it would be well to break up now so Y/N won’t spend her first week of college crying. Though they remained on good terms, both of their hearts still ached with the break up.

The two also tried to get back out the dating scene, but it was never the same. Both of them were hung up with one another to look for a new partner.

“Hey, listen, I need to unpack. But we’ll catch up later, yeah?” Y/N asked.

“Of course, of course. Welcome home, Y/N,” Steve smiled.

Welcome home, indeed, she thought as she went inside her family’s house and Steve went back to the group of people he was with earlier.

♡ ♡ ♡

“Is that her?” Robin asked when Steve came back, opening the door to his house to let the others in.

Steve just nodded closing the door once everybody was in.

“Her? Who is her?” Eddie asked.

“Y/N. Steve’s one true great love,” Dustin replied for Steve.

“Shut up, Henderson,” he replied, shoving the boy in the process.

“She back now, what do want to do? You’ve been miserable since you two broke up,” Max asked.

“I don’t know,” Steve replied once more.

The kids started spewing out reasons why they should get back together.

“You need to get her back!”

“You still love her!

“She makes the best cookies, please get her back!”

“Alright, alright, everybody shut up! Yeah? As much as I would love to get her back, she’s only here for the summer, yeah? And I do not want to lose her for the second time.”

♡ ♡ ♡

Later that night, Steve knocked on the L/N’s door and Y/N answered the door.

“Hey, Steve! What brings you here?”

“Hi, Y/N! Listen can we talk?”

“Sure,” she replied as she stepped outside of her house so they can talk in private, “What do you want to talk about Steve?”

“I missed you so much, Y/N. I’ve been miserable this past year. And I know you’ve probably met new people who are much more interesting than me, but I just want you to know that I still am in love with you and I always will. If your going to break my heart, please do it gently,” Steve replied, pacing back in forth, trying to avoid Y/N’s eyes.

“Why will I ever break your heart again Steve? When I also missed you and still utterly in love with you, so much. But I need to go back to Chicago this fall, what will happen to us then?”

“We’ll make it work, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

The two just stood there looking at each other until Steve kissed her. He poured all of the feelings he felt for her the past year and she kissed him back just the same.

The two were continuing the relationship that was put on hold. And this time, they’ll both make sure that it’ll be a happily ever after.

♡ ♡ ♡

taglist in the reblog

add yourself to my taglist

[notbloom]

About Me! (UPDATED)

Hello! As some of the people that follow me, remember my old about me.. Well, I have deleted that one and decided to update it. This will be my new About me for now. Keep in touch!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello, my name is Bloom! I'd rather keep most of my stuff private, such as my age, address, etc. I myself am a writer, mostly a role-player, I love to draw tons of stuff, drawing Kaiju's is my favorite topic to draw! (Ex. Godzilla...) and/or some backgrounds, aesthetic sunsets, sunrises, sky, stuff like that! I am IN LOVE, MADLY in love with two characters from my favorite show (Transformers: Rescue Bots) and those two characters are Kade and Heatwave. I would die for stories about Kadewave, or talk about them 24/7 I just LOVE their dynamic in the show and It's the only thing I'd mainly write about, role-play about or talk about!

I would love to write about Kadewave, stories, plots, head-cannons, It's just my thing man. But I can write other stories for custom-characters, made up-characters, and so on. ˘˘

STORIES THAT I ACCEPT:

Romance

Comedy

Horror

LGBTQ+ Stories (Gay, Bi, etc)

Adventures

Journey's

Mysteries

STORIES THAT I DON'T ACCEPT:

Hara**ments

Abus**ents (Ex. abusing relationship, family, friend...)

Se*ual Actions

Involving Alcohol

^^

I DON'T write about those topics, but I am fine with talking about them (besides the Se*ual Actions topic). Such as characters being harassed, abused, drunk (basically their past, etc). That I am fine with, only if we keep it at a low limit! Going over the limit, I am sorry but we can no longer talk about that topic.

I don't do commissions for art just yet because of some personal issues about credit cards, paypal, stuff like that so I won't be doing commissions until then, till the problem is solved. Although, I can do requests. Unfortunately I have been in a lack of drawing so I lost my skills from the past and my art has been getting worse and worse each attempt I try to do. ˘˘

STUFF THAT I CAN DRAW:

Kaiju's (Godzilla, Shin Godzilla, Destoroyah, MAYBE Ghidorah,...)

Background's (Sunsets, Sunrises, Forests, Oceans, The Sky, Space,...)

Dragon's (Night Furies, Light Furies, Any Type Dragon FOR NOW.)

Only Portraits, not full body!

Simple Animals (Parrot, Owl, Mouse,...)

STUFF THAT I CAN'T DRAW:

Human Bodies

Robots (Transformers, Animal Robots,...)

Mythical Creatures

Animals (Dogs, Cats, Horses,...)

Earthly Vehicles (Cars, Planes, Boats (Maybe), Motorcycles,...)

As I've mentioned before, yes, I do role-play and I role-play QUITE A LOT. Thanks to role-playing my writing has evolved and gotten better since the first time I did my writing story. I love role-playing about Kadewave (Where are my Kadewave people!?!?!). I mostly love to play as Kade and have a whole angst on him and have the world turn on him, think everything is his fault, bla bla but there can be angst on Heatwave as well and I'm fine with that! I love to role-play about their partnership, not involving other Rescue Bots, Humans. Just them in the role-play, as if the others don't exist but the plot can have them 'off island' or the two can be far off in a different country, having a break, or whatever.

I role-play on Discord 24/7, that's the only platform I can role-play on but I can gladly role-play here on Tumblr in the Messages, just by using (Kade)/(Heatwave)/(CHARACTER NAME) at the start to know who were playing as. I'm very detailed in my role-play parts, and when I say detailed.. I at least have a lot of words in my part (100 (Min)-1000(Max)). I use a bot on Discord called the Tupperbox, where you can make your own bot for the role-play and play as it! It won't say your name, it will only say [The Bots Name] and will have the tag 'Bot' as every bot does!

If you want to role-play with me, on Tumblr, on Discord, feel free to ask. Send me a question, or message me, I'll respond as fast as I can. Although, I have a few topics that I'm fine with role-playing, and some that I'm not fine and I'd be glad to put those in.

TOPICS THAT I'M FINE WITH:

Depression

Self-Harm

Self-Suicide

Anxiety

LGBTQ (Having two characters same gender, fall in love,...)

Traumatizing Backstories

Comedy

Adventures

Journey's

Arguments

Partnership's

Friendship's

Gore / Horror

TOPICS THAT I'M NOT FINE WITH:

Se*ual Energy/Actions

Harassments Energy/Actions

Abusing Energy/Actions

Vore

Harassments, Abusing and Se*uality CAN be mentioned but there won't be any actions (The characters doing those topics in the role-play)! If you're asking for these actions to appear they will NOT, and the role-play plot will be CANCELLED!

If you're a Discord user, you can freely message me and/or ask me for my Discord user, first we will talk about the plot of the role-play, the character and the whole topic about it here on Tumblr, after that's settled we'll be heading on Discord and I'll teach you about the Tupperbox if you don't know already.

That's it for now!

[byebyler]

THAT WAS SO GOOD!!! I am truly just blown away by this season so far. My worst fear was that the show would just keep getting worse and worse until finally dragging to a stop but they really turned things around here. I don’t know if it’s surpassed season 1 but it’s right up there with it! Lots of happy, incoherent rambling and spoilers under the cut!

BYLER STANS RISE UP!! I said before everything was too good to be true but nooope I really think they’re going there. Only time will tell if it’s a one sided crush or if Byler is on its way to becoming canon. Depends on how the last two episodes go. But anyway, it’s really subtle but it’s so there. If you know what to look for, then you know. But if Byler isn’t even a passing thought then of course it’s not going to click for you. So obviously the reviews are skewed one way or another. And there are enough hints for a proper Mileven break up so really, who knows?? Like I said, last two episodes and then we’ll see

Of course the Byler stuff isn’t the only stuff I’m excited over. It really is such a good season. The whole time, except for maybe the last two eps, was really evenly split between all the plots. Pretty much hitting A, B, C, D, A, B, C, D like clockwork. I never felt bored with any part of the story. And despite the introduction of so many new characters, it never felt too cluttered to me.

Obviously El’s story is pretty heavy, since it’s only focused on her. And the Hawkins plots are harder to juggle bc you have so many characters on that side. But I still think they did a really wonderful job, considering. The only time I was really reaching for my phone was during the Russia stuff. But for the people only here for action, I’m sure they won’t have a problem with that :P

THEY FINALLY LEARNED SHOW, DON’T TELL. I’m in complete and utter shock that some romantic aspects could happen organically. It’s so easy to spot the Steve and Nancy hints and it made me sooo happy. But then of course they ruin it by having Eddie flat out tell Steve that Nancy is in love with him or whatever lmao alskfjsdlkfjs no one is perfect I guess. Still. It’s an improvement 

THE NANCY REVEAL HAD ME GAGGED. Genuinely did not see it coming and it caught my by surprise. We were screaming. But I’m 99.99% sure she’s going to be okay lmao. Although now I’m not so sure about Steve. All the hopeful optimistic talk of a future romance has me thinking that one of them is definitely going to die. And not saying I WANT that to happen but I mean come on. It only makes sense

I said before but I’m so thankful of Max’s friendship montage, and for her calling for Lucas AND Dustin when in distress. One thing I hate about Mileven is how singularly focused they were on each other. When El was in distress she was only calling for Mike, like Dustin and Lucas were just dust. So you know. It’s good to see close relationships being acknowledged even when they aren’t romantic. It’s good to see everyone being actual friends

And I’m so glad we’re shaking up the groups again. One reason s3 is so annoying is bc you knooow they saw people talking about s2 like “omg weren’t Steve and Dustin so funny together?? need more of that next season!” and as a result Steve and Dustin almost exclusively only talked to one another. I haaated that. So I’m glad Dustin and Lucas are close again, that they’re with Max, that all the teens are together, that Erica is there but not too much lol. And I loved all the Byler interactions, obviously. The trio of them with El. Them with Jonathan and Argyle, even. Fuck I even can tolerate Murray this season!! They’re doing such a good job with all the characters, it’s literally insane. I still can’t believe it

And everyone feels important. No one is just standing around. So many times last season half the characters or maybe just Will would literally just be standing there in a scene like 🧍🏼‍♂️ it was sooo frustrating. But no everyone actually manages to feel like an active part of the story this time around. It’s so impressive like I am still in genuine shock that it was so good

I’m sure the more I think about it and rewatch it the more I’ll find to complain about but I’m not interested in that right now. I just genuinely had such a wonderful time. It was hours and hours of content, I’ve been up since 3 am watching, but it felt like it just flew by. It was well worth the obscenely long wait, which I’m thankful for. It’s just a great fucking time and I’m so fucking excited for the last episodes and the last season. I really hope they can pull this energy through to the end and not ruin it for themselves!!

[strangerthings4theories]

Hello, I was curious to know more of your thoughts about Billy and Max, especially about what do you think their relationship will be like after they are reunited and how "defeating Neil" will fit into that. Thank you! <3

Oh my, you just asked one of the BIG questions! Haha my answer is gonna be longggg~~

Well, before we can predict what their relationship will be like, we have to establish what their relationship has been like so far. That may seem unnecessary, but imo people misread it pretty badly. As it turns out, Neil is central to their dynamic; Billy's fear of him colors everything, including how he treats Max.

For all his protests that "she's not my sister," Billy absolutely views Max as family. He sees his mother in her, and that drives his actions in S2. We know this from several pieces of evidence, most of which didn't become clear until we saw his memories in S3.

1) These two moments parallel each other.

In the first shot, Billy is standing behind his mom, looking past her at Neil. His mom has just thrown a plate to defend herself, but it didn't accomplish anything, and now Neil's poised to attack her. Billy's rushing forward to stop him.

In the second shot, Billy is standing behind Max, looking past her at Lucas. Max was just yelling at him for some reason - Billy doesn't know why - and now Billy's bristling. In the car, he fixates on one question: "Is he causing you trouble?" When she doesn't answer truthfully, he gets angry and orders her to stay away from Lucas. "There are certain types of people in this world that you stay away from. And that kid, Max? That kid is one of them."

Is this a racial comment? You can interpret it that way, and sure, racism could play a part somewhat. Given how "Neil-haunted" this scene is, though, I don't think racism is the main source of Billy's fear. He doesn't mean "certain types of people" as in black people. He means men who upset you, attack you, make you feel unsafe. If Max had been arguing with a girl, he wouldn't have reacted so strongly.

In an aggressive, emotionally-hamstrung way, he's trying to save Max from his mother's fate. She's young, meaning there's still hope for her. If he can pass on the lessons he's learned, teach her to take no shit and treat men with suspicion, maybe she'll be okay.

Runaway Max supports my reading:

Billy talked to me, but in this sly, confidential way, like there was something important he wanted me to understand. It was like he hated me, except for the way he went out of his way to make me just like him. Any hint of softness and he would never let me forget it. (p 52)

Sometimes, though, Billy acted like we were in on some big, crucial secret together. Like we understood each other, like he was so worried about me. And that was worse. I knew he wasn't really worried. He'd just found one more way to mess with me. (p 129)

The second quote comes on the heels of Billy yelling at her about Lucas. It tells us Max senses his worry, even though she writes it off as an act.

And then there's this...

2) Billy's relationship with Neil haunts the entire Byers house sequence in S2.

Let's set the scene. Neil has just punished Billy for failing to watch over Max. Billy rejects responsibility, arguing, "She's thirteen years old, she shouldn't need a full-time babysitter!" We can detect some resentment here if we remember how quickly Billy was forced to grow up. (He definitely didn't have a babysitter at age thirteen.)

Still, earlier scenes have informed us that, on some level, Billy's always afraid for Max's safety. He's convinced men will hurt her if he doesn't intervene. So getting chewed out by his father for failing to protect her has to sting.

When Billy arrives at the Byers house, he's carrying a toxic stew of anger, resentment, and fear. And who does he see first, standing at the door, blocking access to his sister?

Steve. A young man Billy's age.

This is where Billy really starts to lose it. As he talks to Steve, he's physically trembling and twitching, like he's feeling a slow-motion explosion of rage. (Watch the clip carefully and you'll see what I mean.) A lot is going on in his head, more than he understands, but his dialogue clues us in to some of it.

"This whole situation, Harrington, I dunno. It's giving me the heebie-jeebies."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"My thirteen-year-old sister goes missing all day, and then I find her with you, in a stranger's house... and you lie to me about it."

Kill mode engaged.

Picture the situation from Billy's perspective. He has no clue about the Upside Down or the Mind Flayer. As far as he's concerned, Steve and Max shouldn't even know each other's names, let alone hang out with each other. So, with the understanding that Billy suspects men - all men - of secretly being abusive pieces of shit, we realize he's not just blowing smoke here. He believes Steve is an actual threat to Max.

This taps into Billy's deepest fear: that Neil was right about him. He failed to protect his sister, just like he failed to protect his mother... because he's a pussy.

"What, did I raise a pussy for a son?"

That's why he goes bonkers. Shoving Steve down, antagonizing Lucas, and finally attacking Steve outright. He's lashing out, desperate to prove Neil wrong. He's not a pussy. He can protect his family from harm. He can.

To further explain his emotional state, Neil and his mom are echoed viscerally throughout the scene. In his actions, Billy replays things he's seen - and felt - them do.

>>Billy slams Lucas into a shelf. Neil did the same to Billy earlier.

This tells us Billy lumps Lucas in with men like his father. Subconsciously, he's doing what he wishes he could've done to Neil: turn the tables. Slam him into a bookshelf. Yell at him to "stay away from her!" (his mom in the past; Max in the present).

"Stay away from her. You hear me?"

>>When he's backed into a corner, Billy throws a plate at Steve like his mom did at Neil.

This tells us two things: (1) Billy lumps Steve in with Neil too, and (2) he's flashing back to that memory, whether he realizes it or not. It's seared so deeply into his mind that he can't help but relive it. And here, he feels he's in the same position as his mother, defending herself against an abuser.

It's easy to miss all of this. On the surface, Billy's just a bully who's making our heroes suffer. But beneath the surface, his motives are nuanced, complicated, even tragic. That's why he's such a compelling character.

He doesn't hate Max. He wants to protect her against a world he sees as cruel and untrustworthy. Sadly, he's so broken that he doesn't know how to do it without hurting her. His fear of monsters has driven him to become a monster himself.

It makes me think of Kali's speech to El:

"I decided to play the part [of a monster]. To stop hiding. To use my gifts against those who hurt us."

In Billy's world, as in Kali's, the only way to survive is to play the part. And just like Kali tries to teach El this lesson, he's trying to teach it to Max.

--

Okay wowwww, my answer got even longer than I expected. 😅 I'll end it there and pick it up again in a reblog or stand-alone post. So keep an eye out for that. ✌️

[soft-persephone]

DO YOU REMEMBER YESTERDAY CH.2

Maxwell Lord x Black!Female OC

Warning: mention of drug use and addiction. sexual themes.

WC: 6.5K+ No Minors.

Summery: Max and Amani finally makes amends, but there is more around the corner. 

“ I’m interested in Amani.” Maxwell was determined not to show how nervous and uncomfortable he was in front of Amani’s mother.  He wasn’t  going to lie to himself either. He’s fucked up and he knows it, but he's willing to try.

She studied him for a minute, Her expression unwavering.

“I understand what happened between you and Charlotte. You really cared for her and she hurt you. While I am definitely not happy with the way she treated you and how she handled her emotions, she is a troubled girl.” she paused, holding a finger to her lips. 

“However. . . I can only do so much as her stepmother. I would like to do more than what her father is willing to handle at the moment, but he’s insistent on sending her away to rehab again as always, and Amani has been taking it really hard.”

“I care about her so much,” he interrupted, “more than Charlotte, and I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person and you don’t want me around Amani, but being with her fills me with something more.” 

Max balled his fist tight enough to make his palms bleed. “It gives me purpose.”

A soft chuckle echoed throughout the room. It reverberated from a soft tickle in the back of her throat into a sound that echoed so loud in the walls of Max’s mind. His heart fell to his stomach, his palms started sweating, and he wanted to rip himself apart.

“Max, I don’t think you're a bad person,” she started tenderly, “but you have your demons as well, but I know you're taking action to deal with them.”

Max strained to keep the tears in his eyes, his head pounding as fast as his heart.

“What--- ”

“I’ve noticed  the small moments of when these dark thoughts tend to eat you up from the inside ou --- ”

“I’m not looking for someone to fix me!” he could say more in the moment. He could even do more in the moment but he didn't need to explain himself.

“All I know is I want to be with your daughter.” 

~

Amani pushed the door  into her apart with a sigh parting from her lips. 

It was not a place she was particularly happy to be staying at. She only bought it after her declared temporary separation from Max, and it was hurting her.

The wide balcony that opened up over the city, the large windows that gave the apartment a spectacular glow in the mornings. The already expensive and chic furniture it was equipped with and its two and a half rooms of lushness, did nothing to her emotions in her emotionally devoid heart.

However, she was welcomed with the soft aroma of something familiar. Something that reminded her where her heart was. 

“ I brought you leftovers from Luisa.” A low and level voice rumbled in her ear before strong lean  arms wrapped around her in equal comfort.

“Mmmh, what would I do without you, Javi?”

“Probably waste away worse than you're doing now that you and Max barely see each other anymore.”

A sigh escaped her lips, but it wasn’t like the first. Instead of weary and tired it had lots of layers. It said you're right. It said I want you to stay. It said I know. 

“Make me feel good.” Amani pleaded softly. Closing her eyes. 

“No.’ 

Amani whirled to face him with a frown. 

He was serious. 

Why was he so serious? 

“What's so different now compared to last week or the week before that? What's so–“

“Because I didn’t know how much you were hurting then compared to now,” he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her slowly into the counter, staring into her eyes, ”I didn't have to watch you almost say his name three nights in a row.”

His large hands wrapped around her jaw and squeezed until tears started to well in her eyes, “and if we have sex now your going to say his name and its going to hurt how we feel about each other in more easy than one.” 

He let her go and turned around, not letting her see the waves of emotion that rise and fall on his face. 

“ It would ruin our relationship forever. 

“Javi, that’s not a decision you and I get to make, and if we both don’t want to ruin what we have, then it won’t get ruined.”

Javi turned, giving her his work face.

It was a face Amani had learned to hate. A skill Javi has learned throughout the years to close himself off emotionally and physically from the people in his life to protect his emotions. If there was one thing she hated, it was being shut out. 

“I’m going to smoke a cigarette.” 

Just because things between her and Max have been taking a toll on her emotions did not mean that either of them cared less about each other and Amani couldn’t cheat on him. She wouldn’t dare do anything like that, no matter how upset she was with him for what he did.

It wasn’t fair, but that was life. Not fair.

It's not fair for Max to do wrong in favor of “helping her and the family”, it wasn't fair for Javi to think the future of their relationship rested on his shoulders. It wasn;t fair that the strain between Max and Amani affected so many of the people around them. Life isn’t fair.

Mustering up the broken pieces of her emotions, Amani brisked over to him in fury. Pulling him by his robe and making him face her. “Prove it.” she glared at him.

She wasn’t going to let him be right. He didn’t know everything. He was only being cruel because that's what Javi does when he’s upset. If he’s going down he has to take everyone else with him.

“Is that what you want hermosa?” he smiled, but his voice was agitated.

Amani kept glared at him.

Before she could let out her next breath, he was all over her. His lips chasing hers and not relieving pressure. Thick firm hands roamed her sides and along her body until one firm hand landed on her back. The other gripped her ass until she was firmly locked onto the firm warm plane of his chest. 

He moved his lips to her neck making sure to get every scrap of skin his mouth could reach, and a whimper escaped her lips. 

He held her tight in a way that she knew what he was saying. She knew what he was asking for. Stay….don't leave me. 

With one last kiss that stole her breath, He laid her gently onto the plush cushioning of her couch. In contrast to his gentle movements, he yanked roughly onto the clothes that still covered her, throwing the expensive business wear into some forgotten corner of the penthouse. 

With one swipe of a hand, his robe was loose and they were finally able to feel each other’s skin bare chested in each other's full glory. The warm deep tan of his skin held all the warmth of the world and it never failed to make her feel better in the worst of ways.

Warm thick fingers swiped through the wetness of her folds before making a move where she needed most.

“Please. . . don’t….” a moan deep within her chest escaped in a low ethereal sound that was music to his ears, making his fingers dance in feather light touches, “don't tease.” she choked. 

His thumb put a delicious pressure on her clit and his warm thick fingers pumped into her at a moderate pleasurable pace that moved with purpose, but not fast enough to make her lose her mind. 

Amani held him firmly to her chest as he gave him just what she needed, just what she wanted. Always so caring and always so attentive.

She kissed his neck in response. Biting and marking him the way he likes as a non verbal thank you as she washed his back in every moan, sigh, and whimper in praise.

Her back arched into his chest,and her legs began to shake, before a tidal wave of pleasure washed over her and raised her into another high beyond her belief, she cried out his name,

“Max!”

The guilt was instant. Loosening her grip, she tried to pull away. 

Javi didn’t let her. He held her closer and pumped his fingers faster and harder, burying his head into the crook of her neck as he worked his fingers into her, panting her name and murmuring words of encouragement.

“That's it, pretty girl.” he panted in her ear. The warmness of his voice sending her into a trance, “ride my fingers. Take what you need.”

“Max,” she moaned again without thinking. 

Javi noticed, and he made sure to rub his thumb in firm small circles around her clit. Pushing a third finger in, he hit the spot that made her walls flutter relentlessly.

“Say it again!”

She dug her nails into his back, but that wasn’t the response he wanted.

With a slap on her ass out of nowhere she yelped and jerked  her hips, making his fingers push into her. She whimpered in response.

“I thought I told you to do something.”

Amani moaned, desperate to give him what he wanted, but she didn’t remember. 

“Please. ..she gasped. I need more”

Javi shook his head as he felt pressure at the back of his eyes and a dull ache in his head. He shook away whatever sadness wanted to show in his eyes, holding it together for her.

He hit the same spot over and over again, dragging the pads of his fingers on the same spot, forcing another cry of Max's name from her lips. 

Amani didn’t look at Javi as he eased onto her and laid his head on her shoulder. 

“I told you so.” He grabbed the blanket off the backrest and draped it around them..

“What about you?'' She ignored his statement. 

“You don’t want me to take care of you?”

“It can wait,” he draped an arm between her breast and pulled her close to his chest before kissing her on the top of her head, “Get some sleep.”

It wasn’t lost on Amani that he was holding her to sleep the same way Max did. Regardless of if he had to work the next day or leave for another business trip. No matter the thing or task Max had to do after, he never failed to hold her until she fell asleep.

And for the first time in a while she cried. 

~

Amani stirred to a numb buzzing phone, small rays of sunrise escaped from the window onto her face. She pulled the blanket to her chin and nuzzled further into Javi’s shoulder. 

“Get the phone.” she mumbled lowly into his skin.

“It’s your phone.” he huffed into her hair.

“ I never said it wasn’t”

Grumbling, Javi picked up the phone, “Javi. . . . Yeah, Max she’s right here,” Amani rose out of bead and whipped her head around, '' I took care of her for you. . .yeah.. . .you should probably ask her that yourself. . .you know how she is when you're not around. . .yeah. . .I understand. . . .here,” he handed her the phone. 

“Are you ready to pick up Allister from my mothers.”

Amani bit her lip. Savoring the sound of his voice, making sure she remembers it later. “I will be, how far are you out?” her voice croaked on the last word making her internally cringe.  

“Not far, but I'll stop for coffee to give you some time.”

“Okay. . . “

There was a stretch of silence. Neither one of them saying anything. 

“I. . .I'll see you when you get here, Max.”

“Sure thing.” 

Amani stared at her phone after hearing the ending dial that said he was gone. 

“Go get ready, hermosa,” Javi wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the head.

“Why are you already dressed?” She looked him up and down and saw he had already shoved on his jeans and held his shirt in his hands. 

“I don’t think Max can't handle seeing me and you like this at the moment.’

Amani frowned. 

This thing they had has always been a little confusing for her. It was hard to wrap her head around at first because if she’s only dating Max, what is Javi? Does he date other people? If he does end up staying with someone, do they have to add a fourth person to their life, or does she and the supposedly fourth take turns  with Max and Javi? 

There was something they decided not to tell her when she was younger, but she was much older now and the conversation was definitely coming up soon. 

“Don’t do that.”

“I don’t know what you're talking about.’ Amani calmly got up and wrapped herself in the blanket. 

“You're overthinking it.”

Amani bit her lip. “Did you and Max have sex with Charlette?”

Javi’s eyes darkened and that honestly surprised her. 

“I never liked Charlotte,” his voice was clipped and mild mannered, “Only Max did, so no . . .”

He momentarily paused. “No offense to your sister.”

“Just. . .asking. . .” she replied weakly. 

“You asked us both these questions years ago already? Are you changing your mind?” 

Amani’s heart dropped. 

“Javi sit.” She quickly sat down and patted the seat beside her. 

“ I’m not breaking up with Max, and I don't want to. Nothing can truly tear us apart from one another. I have to stand up for myself in this and make him realize some things. He’s been struggling with the same demons forever, but it's time to let them go. We have Allister now, and he can’t be the same man he was in the past. Things have to change. . .” She reached out and held Javi’s hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t think about how my feelings and decisions would affect you in this. It must be scary to see both of us apart for so long and I don’t think we actually sat down with you and included you in all of this, and I feel horrible about it.”

She blinked a few tears away, ignoring how they were running down her face. 

“I want Max to realize he doesn’t have to do bad things to be the man he wants to be. That I'm proud of him more than words can describe and I know he’s going to be a good dad for Allister because he isn’t his father, but I did not get to tell him any of those things yet, because he’s out  stealing shit and selling it to the highest bidder.”

Javi gently brushed the tears away with a thumb. 

“I. .I understand. You. . .don't need to cry.”  

“I’m okay. Max is okay. We're all going to be okay.”

Amani didn’t know if he was reassuring her or himself, but she let him have his moment. Anything he needed. 

“I told Luisa I was taking the food over to Max’s and that I wasn't going to see you until the twins' birthday.. . .That’s why I'm dressed to leave earlier.” he said, changing the subject. 

‘Javi–”

“--you still love me?” 

Max was not supposed to be here and he was not supposed to hear this conversation. Yet, Mani couldn’t tell herself she regretted it. She didn’t know how to face him. Later. . .it had to be later. . .not like this. . . not right now. . .

Max set the cup holder of coffee and a small pastry bag on the counter before making his way to face them both.

“Let me take a shower. We can talk about it in the car. 

~

Amani wished Javi was in the car with them. She wanted to put this conversation off until she was ready. Whether that meant emotionally or once things in her life calmed down she was not sure.

“You said you still loved me in there. ..” he shifted in his seat and adjusted to a one hand grip on the wheel, his right hand landing on the arm rest, “did you mean it, or were you just calming Javi down?” 

The glance he gave her as his eyes momentarily left the road was quick but weighted, or was that her imagination. 

“Max,” she sighed, taking a sip of the coffee he brought her, “is this Starbucks?”

“It was convenient.” he frowned. 

“It always is.” Amani muttered to herself.

She might as well rip the band aid off.

“Did you hear everything?”

Amani felt like she could see the wheels turning in his head. Deciding if he wanted to lie to her or not. It was something she has grown uncomfortably used to, not because it's wrong to lie to the person who loves you, but because a small part of her worries about what other people might think. 

Is she okay if the love of her life is turning out to be a bad man? Did she ignore all the red flags from her youth up until now? Is she some gullible fool?

“Yes.” 

Amani looked at him for a second. 

“I know my word does not have as much worth as it did in the past, but I don’t have anything else to lose at the moment.”

“Max, I haven't left you. I--” 

“You don’t get to fucking say that anymore!” He yelled, banging his fist on the dashboard with one hand on the wheel.

“You're gone! You aren’t talking to me, you hardly look at me anymore,  and you can barely be in the same room as me! It was only a month ago when I helped you get over Charlotte's most recent relapse, and eventually you didn’t want me there either!”

 His voice cracked, “You aren’t at home anymore unless it's to take Allister with you at your apartment.”

“. . .You left.” 

“Just because I am not with you physically does  not mean I am out of your life forever. I have not thought about leaving you and I will not think about leaving you. On top of my love for you is Allister, and I could not think of hurting him in any way.”

She turned and looked at him.

“I don’t want you to do what you're doing now, because I know you're still doing it even if you don't want to talk about it. I’m not coming back home until you stop!”

Amani’s ears were ringing from all the shouting. She leaned back in her seat and bounced her leg, willing herself to keep it together. Only a few more minutes, and she would see her son again. Things were better when he was around.

Her and Max did not fight. All of their energy was focused on keeping their baby safe and happy. 

“I haven’t done  anything like that since you left. I’m legal, all the way”

Amani turned and looked at him. Not trusting  herself to say anything. 

“I didn’t say anything because I did have all these plans for whatever I wanted. Legally or illegally, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Into when it was what drove you away. I made a promise to never do anything to ever hurt you, but,” he pulled the car to a stop as they reached their destination, “I didn’t say anything about it because I’m not sorry.”

Amani opened her mouth but he waved a hand to stop her. 

“I’m not sorry for wanting whatever it takes to support and provide for my family. I know it's wrong dealing in shady business, but that's what rich people do. Everyone from every side has been telling me this as business advice so I took it and I did what I had to do with it.”

Max undid his seatbelt and grabbed her arm. Willing her to look at him and he spoke. 

“Everything your father had was passed down to him from his family and he passed that down to you. I don't have that, and As far as I know I don't have anything to pass down to that little boy in my Mother’s arms. 

“I am not sorry for that.”

Amani grabbed his hand and wrapped it in hers. She ignored Max’s surprised expression and brushed his knuckles with her lips. She closed her eyes and savored the moment of having him close to her again. 

“We could have built something together. Why did you never think of that? You want something big and I want something innovative. We could have built that empire, we could have moved mountains together. You didn’t have to go out on your own and it didn’t have to be something dangerous.”

“But those dangerous people are the same people we went to high school with. The same people you ran track and played soccer with. The ones who sat beside you in class and helped get ready for prom with.”

Amani whipped a tear threatening to fall down her face.

She kissed Max’s knuckles and shed him quietly. 

“It’s not about that Max. . . I was only angry under the presumption you were doing something illegal. I only left because of that as well, so it wouldn’t be fair for me to stay upset at you for that. It wouldn't be fair to be angry at you for a whole new reason. 

Amani cupped his face and brushed his cheek with her thumb. 

“But we will talk about an apology later. I want to see my son.”

Max kissed her hand. His face was expressionless, but it was enough information for her. 

Getting out of the car he opened her door and helped her out. Before making it to the door of his Mother’s, they both had on their best smiles.

“Max! My precious boy! Amani! It has been so long it's so good to see you! I am so happy to see the two of you together! I know baby Allister is happy to see his Mommy and Daddy too!” she cooed. 

Alister raised his tiny feet and hands out in joy at seeing his parents. He kicked his feet and babbled in joy as loud as he could, reaching out his arms towards his mother.

“Ally! I missed you so much! I bet you were the sweetest most nicest boy for your Abuela.”

“Yes, he absolutely was.” She tickled Allister's belly, making him twist away in laughter. “Let me get my things and we can go. Let Max get him settled in the car and you can come and help me grab my things.”

Max raised his eyebrows in a small warning, and Amani gave him a nod as a silent, I’ll be okay.

“Have you made your decision, mija. You know I would never judge you for whatever decision you will make? I will love you all the same.”

“You don’t have to be so dramatic Mama Luisa. I was never planning to leave him.”

“You weren’t? Surely you know most people will not believe you.”

If there was one thing the Maxwells have in common it surely is the trait of being carelessly blunt when they want to be. 

“All I ever wanted was for Max to respect me. It wasn’t so much what he was doing behind my back, but how he disrespects me whenever I confront him about it. He thinks the fate of our family relies on his shoulders only. I know what he’s been fighting internally about being a father, but it's not something he’s ever been alone in. He has had you his entire life to deal with them and he now has me, but somehow in the adult phase of our relationship he is pushing me out, and I can't take it. 

“But I can’t take seeing you suffer from my own pain.”

Amani frowned. 

“Max, tell me what you are up to? This has happened more than once today, and it doesn’t look like a coincidence.”

“I’ll head to the car. Thank you mija for helping me gather my things.” 

“I made a promise to myself and your mother I would never do that. I had to let you leave me, and I had to find a way to deal with it on my own.”

“But you don’t–”

“--yes, I do.” he placed both of his hands on her shoulders, keeping her from turning or looking away. 

“Some burdens people have to carry alone. To put that on you in hopes that I might get better is too much. I had to do a lot of internal work on myself before I could ever fight for you to come back into my life. It’s the same reason Charlotte doesn’t want you visiting her or calling her while she’s in Rehab this time. 

“But why is it too much to just say you're sorry to me? What can’t you say it?”

Max smiled at her. He smiled at her. 

He smiled at her and it was driving her crazy.

“What are you looking at me like that for? I'm confronting you about something! I'm standing my ground and I am asking for respect!”

Max just sat there looking at her.

 She was starting to go crazy.

“What Max! What!”

“Come here.” Max held out his hand and jerked his head towards the door.

The last thing she wanted to do was go outside, but something was willing her to go along with this nonsense. 

Amani twisted the doorknob and Max immediately covered her eyes with his hands. 

“Max, what are you up to?” she sighed. Utterly defeated and bent to his will. She gives up. Whatever he has going on she’ll go along with it. She has come this far and they have made more progress today than they have in a long time.  

“No peeking.” was all she got in response.

Amani let Max lead her to the same backyard she has seen hundreds of times for family gatherings. From reunions to birthday parties. 

“Are you ready?” 

“Yes, Max. I’m–” 

Speechless. She was speechless. In the front yard hundreds of little sparklers were stuck in the ground to spell two words, taking up the entire yard.

I’m sorry.  

In the O were several gift bags which made Amani narrow her eyes.

“I know it's not much for everything I put you through, but I wanted to say. I’m sorry.”

He walked out in front of the sparklers arms spread out wide he yelled at the top of his lungs. 

“I am so sorry Amani Chandler-Jones for hurting you!”

“Talk yo’ shit nigga!”

“Do what it takes to get that girl back!”

Were two of several things that were said out of many windows. 

“Thank you gentleman! That means a lot to me!” Max yelled back as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

It all made Amani laugh. She couldn’t have one separately tearful moment without something absurd and unexpected happening. 

“Let me get a piece of dat ass!”

“You can come down here and get these hands!”

“You can’t fight! Square ass looking–”

“Why don’t you come down here and find out for yourself!”

“Can you two do this tomorrow you're ruining my moment!”

“Come on Mani, you know I was just playing! Yall both know good and well, he dont’ look like he from here no moe!”

“We love you TT! Tell your grandma I said hey!” Amani waved. 

Max looked at her, and her stomach started tying knots. A feeling she remembers from when they first met. How he used to make her feel every time she saw him. 

“I couldn’t say sorry in the car because I had already planned this. I know I might have hurt your feelings and seemed shity, but I had to go down hard to keep this a secret.”

“You can never do anything normally can’t you?”

“I didn't work hard for all my money so I could make this  moment normal. I’m going all in or I'm not doing it.”

Max picked up all the bags and brought them over to her, the sparkles finally blown out. 

“Now you're going to open up all these gifts, so we can go to a two year olds birthday party, to watch spoiled rich baby's run around and play games, and eat cake.”

“Don’t forget about the parent drama we’re going to have to sit through. Someone is either going to say Chase’s wife stole the party idea or they are going to steal it for their child’s birthday.”

“Don’t remind me. Last year some dad kept showing pictures of his completely renovated backyard with a giant girl and a tacky large pool.

“Ugh, those pools are so tacky. Please, tell me we are never getting a pool. I never want to be those type of people.”

“You're telling me, we're taking Allister to the mountains. Not a beach.”

~

Paparazzi was everywhere outside the gate of her brother Chase’s house. He was never fussy about that type of thing, but Amani knew better. 

Her older step brother was always an attention seeker. He could never handle it if no one cared about whatever he was doing.

Amani would have said something to Max about Chase’s typical behavior, but his mother was in the car and so was their one year old baby. 

“All these camera flashes are making my head hurt.”

“Better get used to it Mama Luisa, because Chase probably brought a few inside to capture every moment of the twins' birthday party.”

“What if you and Max had twins? Wouldn't that be lovely?”

“You're literally holding our first child.”

“It's always nice to have another.”

Amani rolled her eyes and Max grabbed her hand and kissed it. 

“Baby steps Mama. Besides, we both have very active careers.”

Walking to the door was harder than they thought it would be. 

Questions about Charlotte were being thrown around. Comments about their family’s future? If she and Max were having trouble? Were they back together?

“Max! Amani! You made it!”

“Allister is so cute! He’s so big now!”

“Bethany! It's nice to see you again too!”

“How old are the kids this year, two?”

Amani had asked a genuine and polite question, but Beth hadn’t answered. She looked down at Max’s hand on her waist, how close they were standing together, and the recent collection of gold jewelry that adorned her neck and ears, missing the matching bracelet on her wrist.

“Oh you know how kids grow.” she said absentmindedly, walking into the house, she kept looking back at them from time to time with a sly smile on her face.

Amani actually liked Bethany a lot. Probably, more than her own brother, but right now she was testing her. 

“There goes a moment to let everyone know we’re okay on a day that isn’t about anyone else.” Max said in her ear before kissing her head.

“I don't even want to think about it. She’s on her way to tell every mother, cousin, and aunt about us. Can we ever have one thing?”

“You expect this from the man and woman who stole our wedding day?”

Amani playfully hit him on the chest.

“Do you really believe that?”

“He literally proposed to his girlfriend  after I opened my heart and said I wanted to propose to you! We were supposed to get married first with the big house and have all the expensive birthday parties! Not them!”

Amani bopped him on the nose. “It's probably better things turned out this way. Were better for it.”

“Yeah, Max rested his chin on her head, and wrapped his arms around her from behind, letting Bethany and his mother pass them. 

“We also have more money at this point in our lives than they did, so our wedding is going to be bigger, better, and more tasteful.”

Max chuckled. She felt it rise from the middle of his chest to the pit of his stomach. 

He tilted her chin up and kissed her on the mouth. 

His lips were always soft. A contrast to the firm set of his jaw as he presses his mouth against hers, asking for more, and she gives it to him. She gives it to him and more, asking for something in return with the same eagerness. 

“Are you two done yet?”

Amani doesn’t take her eyes off Max for a second, ignoring the voice of one of her friends. 

She smiled. 

“Let's go eat an overpriced children’s cake and pretend not to hate my brother and his wife’s friends.” 

~

Lyla can honestly say that becoming a mother to two older children was not hard for her. They had a special upbringing much different from her first child Amani, and they did not quite accept her at first,  but that didn’t have an affect on the love she had for them in her heart. 

Losing a mother is never easy, but losing a mother at such a young age is another thing entirely. 

“Lyla!” 

The door opened and her husband made his way to the bed taking off his slippers.

“Today was a handful,” he drew the covers back, not minding the sheets, and draped them over himself, “ I can’t wait to get old with you and leave all that work stuff for the kids to fight over.”

Lyla twirled with the bracelet on her wrist, saying a quick prayer for courage.

“I talked to Max today.”

Charles hesitated before sitting on the bed and taking off his shoes.

“That Max. . . He's not a terribly bad kid, but I can’t say I like him. Nor his relationship with our daughter. I think she’ll be better without him.”

“More likely he is better off without her.”

“Lyla what–” 

“Don’t lie to me Charles the boy came here and told me everything she did to him. He even said he came to talk to you about Charlotte using him for her image and you told him that it would be good for him.”

Charles sighed before turning around to look at his wife. 

“I didn’t know what to do,” he said dejectedly, “ Every man wants to believe in the good side of his children, especially his daughter. I can believe she turned to drugs after the death of her mother, but I don’t see what can make her manipulate this bright and capable young man.”

“She’s scared and alone Charles.”

“But what makes her feel so alone! We are her family and we are here for her! I’ll pay for all the therapy, all the rehab, all the medication she may need to get better!”

“She's A teenager, and all that grief and pain form being an addict on top of losing a mother isn’t a good combination. When you're a teenager by itself the world feels so big and everything hurts a hundred times more. That doesn’t make anything she’s done right, Charles.”

“. . . It’s just the explanation.”

“That doesn’t explain why Max would ever agree to what nonsense idea she presented him with.”

“Because he didn’t know about any plan. He was genuinely in love with her until something happened and he found out her true intentions.”

“Is that what he told you today? Only his side of the story!”

Lyla stood up from the bed and briskly walked towards the balcony. She opened the door for some air. 

She wanted nothing more than to take the pain in this family way, but she can;lt do it by herself, but she’d let hell freeze over before her daughter suffers from somebody else's demons.

“Charles this isn't about any side!”

Charles followed her onto the balcony and she pretended to ignore him. She couldn’t dare look at him in this moment. 

“As he fell in love with Mani as he fell out of love with Charlotte.” she sniffled.

“What do you mean he’s in love with Mani?”

“You’d let him near her? After everything?”

“He’s a child Charles! They’re all children. He said he used to want some type of revenge against her, but after spending so much time with Amani and seeing her love for Charlotte, he let it go.”

“But do you honestly believe him? Why would he say any of that?”

“It's not really in what he said Charles. It's in what he didn't say.”

“He said. . .He said he learned to see Charlotte from a different perspective through Amani’s eyes, and he couldn't bring himself to do anything to hurt her. . .” She sniffed again. “So he let it go.”

“What did Charlotte do to this boy Charles?”

“Well after the modeling agency told her to get off hard drugs before she comes back as a break before she gets clean. Somehow the information was linked to the press, and people weren’t talking about her in the papers or on tv like they used to. “ he sighed.

“Charlotte took it pretty hard and wanted me to do something about it. I found a random image consultant, and she  told us all Charlotte had to do was date someone better than her, and make a statement that she was going on a sabbatical or vacation to get better and reconnect with nature and God and that the press would love it.”

“Oh, Charles.”

“As far as I know, the plan was getting the result Charlotte wanted, so I focused back on my work. I thought everyone was happy. I didn’t know she was hurting the boy–”

“Max! Don’t call him boy. It’s dehumanizing and degrading Charles. You should know better.” Lyla calmly interrupted. “As you were saying.” 

Charles gave Lyla a sad smile before continuing. 

“When Max came to me and started saying She was making him unhappy, and that she was spending time with other people. I brushed him off and told him to handle it like a man.”

“I. .I had no idea she was using again. I didn’t know she was literally sleeping with and dating other people while taking Max to all these places for photos and interviews. I thought it was regular child dating . .stuff.”

“Charles, he was so hurt and lost. But most of all. . . he never did anything to let the media and public know. He could have ran to tmz or somewhere. He could have sued us for emotional damage in return or something else just as serious.. . “

“Charles, this all could have turned out worse.”

“How is Mani holding up through all this?”

Lyla couldn’t stop herself from crying. She wanted to be strong for her family or show some type of stability that everyone else could rely on, but she was only human, and every human has a breaking point. 

‘She was so excited to have a big sister and Charlotte has done so much for her to adjust to this new life of hers. All she knows is that her big sister is being taken away from her. Even if she ended up taking care of Charlotte through some of the problems she’s having with addiction. She only saw it as helping Charlotte like she helped her. .”

“Oh, Lyla.” Charles hugged and rocked her from side to side, rubbing her back in gentle and reassuring strokes. “I'm so sorry. I should have done more.”

“She didn’t want Charlotte to go to rehab again. She doesn't know how many things we’ve tried before sending her there, and she does like Max, but she’s afraid of putting her heart out there again.. . Charlotte let her down.”

“Lyla, I don’t want to argue with you.” 

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and looked out at the cloudy sky over the moon.

“I can’t say I’m happy with this information, but I will trust you with whatever decision you want to make, but I want to keep talking with you about this about our family. 

“We both may not make the best decision about everything, but no one can say we didn’t try.”

[namluve]

↳ an alpha’s touch | johnny x reader | 4.0k | oneshot | 18+ genre: smut, supernatural, werewolf, alpha/omega mates warnings: dom/sub themes, possesivness, spanking, size kink, praise kink, oral sex, a little manhandling

❝ determined to finish your studies before you would start dating, you had rejected your mate a year ago. as your heat approaches, your alpha and mate johnny wants to do everything he can to help you through the pain. will you resist him or will you give in to your alpha’s touch? ❞

note: this fanfic is for @nct-writers​ halloween event. an excuse for me to finally write a fanfic about my ult-bias. beta read by my best friend @you-better-stob​ thank you amanda ily. hope you all enjoy! 

The cold wind grabbed hold of you as you walked down the street with your two best friends sending shivers down your spine. Couldn’t you have chosen a café that was closer to campus? None of you talked on your way over, the bitter cold in October being enough for even your loudest friend Laura to keep quiet.

One foot in front of the other, you thought as you crossed your arms over your chest. Head down as you hoped to God you would reach the café soon. Longing for that hot pumpkin spiced chocolate you had been craving all day.

You were on the verge of going into heat and craving sweets, other than for someone to rail you all night of course. Knowing things would only get harder once you got into heat, you decided to hang out with your friends. Before you would spend the weekend alone in agony in your bed of course.

A sigh of relief left your lips once you opened the café door, the heat embraced you as you stepped inside. Your cheeks turned slowly to life again as you approached the barista. The bitter cold left your body with every second you spend in the shop.  

The cute barista you recognized from campus greeted you and your friends with a warm smile. You knew he was part of your pack, unsure of what position though. Your parents had been strict with school above werewolf duties. An education was more important than a mate in times like these. You had to be able to stand on your own, get a job above all else.

“How may I help you?” The barista asked and your friend Laura responded before you and Ally even had the chance to open their mouths.

“We’ll have three pumpkin spiced chocolates.” The barista placed the order, his fingers tapping fast on the cashier. Had you always had a thing for hands or was this a new thing? You couldn’t help but to stare at them, a whine almost left your lips. They looked pretty. Long, slender, could probably hold down your body really good. Probably even-

“Y/n, hello? Where do you wanna sit?” Ally asked and brought you out of your trance. Cheeks red as you turned and looked around in panic. Pointing to an empty table by the windows, you hoped no one had noticed you staring at the barista’s hands. You didn’t even dare to look back at him as you pointed towards the table.

“There- We can sit there.” You nervously ramble as you start walking towards the table. Your two friends followed you closely, laughing as you got to the table. As you all sat down, you stared at them with a face that said ‘what?’ which only made them laugh more.

“We know you are close to your heat but damn girl, do you have to be so obvious?” Laura speaks and Ally nods in agreement. Burying your face in your hands, you silently hoped your cheeks had turned back to their usual colour.

“Do you think he noticed?” You asked, you question muffled as you let your head rest in your hands.

“Yeah, well I think he knows you are in heat if I’m being honest.” Ally said and you looked up to meet their faces. Confused as to how he could know.

“Why? Is he a werewolf?” You asked and Laura answered your question.

“He is actually Johnny’s beta, Jaehyun if you didn’t know. God, your parents should at least let you attend the pack meetings.”

You groaned as you threw your head back. Jaehyun would 100% tell Johnny that you were in heat, which was the last thing you wanted. The two of you had a complicated relationship to say the least.

You were his mate and he was yours. Only problem? You had rejected him. Wanting to focus on your studies before you got into a relationship, you chose to reject your mate last year. Your heart is still weary and wounded. Your wolf cried for his every night, longing for the connection you both craved.

Why couldn’t you have been one of the people that met their mate at an older age? Every night you wished you could’ve met Johnny when you were done with college and had a job. If that were the case you would've been in his arms right now, never letting him go.

Johnny was hurt but he knew how strict your parents were. The choice hadn’t been entirely yours. He just wished he could’ve had you in his arms right now, not in two years when you get your college degree. He wanted you as his from the moment he had smelled your scent when you walked onto campus.

The two of you had talked about it, matter of fact, you kept in touch with each other through text. You weren’t seeing him so there was no harm in it, right? Except for the fact that you craved him more and more each day as you got to know him. You loved him more and more for each day.

Oh how screwed you were if Johnny found out you were about to go into heat. No way would you be able to resist him. So, you made a silent wish. Wishing Jaehyun wouldn’t tell Johnny anything. Besides, you had never seen him before. There was no way he knew who you were, right?

That night you clutched your arms tightly around your knees. Laying in your bed in agony as your heat kicked in. Sweat dripped down your body despite that the air condition was on max and you only wore a tank top and panties.

It was far worse than anything that you’d anticipated. Probably since you had found your mate already and your wolf was calling for him. You’d lost count the amount of times you’d told her to shut up. Johnny wasn’t coming, the two of you were alone in this.

Suddenly, it felt as if you could think again. A strong scent filled your nostrils with hope. It reminded you of something, of someone, but you couldn’t figure out what or who.

As it got closer, everything felt as if it got easier. You sat up on your bed, confused as you could feel your wolf being overly excited. Why was she suddenly so happy?

“Y/n?” Oh… That’s why… A soft whine left your lips as you heard Johnny call out your name from behind your apartment door. No, he couldn’t be here. Not now.

“Y/n answer me, I know you are in there. I could smell you miles away.” You didn’t miss the alpha tone in his voice that instantly brought heat down to your core. Your submissive side now at war with your rational thoughts. Craving to give in and give your alpha anything he’d ask of you.

“Yes?” You quietly asked, knowing he could hear you despite the bedroom door and apartment door blocking the soundwaves. All werewolves were blessed with supernatural hearing among many other things after all.

“You didn’t answer my texts, are you alright?” No, you wanted to say that so badly. Ask him to make you his right here and then. If only it wasn’t for the fact that your parents would immediately be able to smell it on you the next time you would see each other. A claimed mate had a special smell to ward off unmated wolves from them. Making it easier for werewolves who still searched for their mate.

“Yeah… I’m fine!” You lied, your wolf crying as you did. Every cell in your body protests as the words leave your mouth. It wasn’t in your nature to lie to your alpha and it hurt. You bit your lip as you felt a sting of pain in your stomach. You couldn’t make any noise. You couldn’t let Johnny know anything. You had to keep quiet so he would leave.

“Don’t lie to me now,” Johnny warned and you could imagine his jaw clenched as he growled, “come to the door so we can talk.”

You didn’t stand one chance against his alpha voice, your body moved on its own account. Soon enough, you stood in front of your apartment door. The only thing in between you and your mate.

“Good girl.” He praised and your wolf purred. With the last willpower you had in your body, you slid down against the door. You threw the back of your head against the door as you let out a deep breath. You could do this. You could sit here and talk with him without anything else happening. You could do it.

“Now… Why didn’t you tell me you were going into heat?” Johnny asked and you chuckled. Because if I had told you, I would’ve let you fuck me all night long. Funny story, right?

“And how come, I had to find it out from my beta because one; he could smell you. And two; you drooled while staring at his hands.”

“I didn’t drole!”

“Ah, so you admit you were staring at his hands?” Well fuck. You couldn’t exactly lie to him. Best thing to do now was to probably keep quiet. If Johnny came here jealous out of all things, there was no way you would survive the night. He wouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t want him to do, but if he kept talking like that, you might just give in.

“Is there anything I could do to help?” He asked with his voice softened. Johnny had swallowed all the jealousy he felt. He needed to be there for you right now, he could be jealous later. Right now, you were the most important thing to him.

You thought for a little while before you answered him. “It feels better just by sitting like this.”

“Do you want us to do that? I could talk you through it you know? Anything I can do to help I’ll gladly do. You know that.” You did know that. Johnny had expressed several times through text that he was willing to wait for you and that he would come running first thing if you ever needed him. Just like he had done now.

“It’ll get uncomfortable for you.” You replied and your wolf suddenly got mad at you. Probably because she thought you were going to reject him again. When in reality, you just cared so much about him. The thought of him sitting all night outside of your door broke your heart in all honesty. All because of your stupid rules.

“It’s still nothing compared to what you’re going through.” Well, he wasn’t wrong, but still, it didn’t feel right to leave him outside. You could let him help you through it. You could just let him in, stay in his arms until it was all over.

With that in mind, you mustered strength to unlock the door. Your hands shaked as you turned the lock. Johnny listened outside of the door, tried to figure out what you were suddenly up to. His question was answered quickly when he heard the door unlock and you crawled away from it.

You made your way over to the nearest wall surface by the door. Resting against it, your breathing was heavy as if you had just run a marathon. Still, Johnny didn’t open the door. He waited for your next move, not wanting to cross any boundaries.

“You can come in… if you behave.” Your voice low as you spoke, and Johnny understood right away what you meant. He carefully placed his hand on the door handle, turning it slowly as he stepped inside your apartment. Closing the door behind him before he looked down on you as you sat on the floor.

Eyes closed as you struggled to breath, your body shivering as if you were cold despite the sweat dripping down on your skin. He tried his best to keep his eyes on your face. Growling as he recalled the split second he’d let his eyes roam over your half naked body. Legs on display for him, only panties and a tank top to cover your body.

Combine it all with your sweet smell and Johnny was lost. Both he and his wolf wanted nothing more than to mate you and put you out of your misery. So, he took a step back. A deep breath left his mouth as he held himself back. You trusted him by letting him in, he wasn’t going to ruin that.

“Could we… watch a movie?” You suggested and brought Johnny back from his thoughts.

“Yeah, yeah… of course. What do you wanna watch?”

“Anything… Can you carry me to the bed? My laptop is in there?” To the bed. Johnny had to lay beside in bed, have you in his arms and not do anything. Impossible was his first thought but he had to do this, he had to do it for you.

“Yeah… Just give me a sec.” He said before he disappeared into your bedroom. The smell of you almost overwhelming as he removed the bedcovers to make space for you two. Anything to buy him some time to collect himself before he had to carry you over here. His wolf screaming at him to just claim you as his.

The pain in your stomach stopped for a little while and your wolf encouraged you to go to him. Reasonable, you thought and slowly got up from the floor. One step at a time, you made it into the bedroom. Startling Johnny in the process, he had been too caught up in his own thoughts with his wolf to notice you until you were in front of him.

“You can lay down.” You nervously muttered and Johnny nodded at your command. Laying down on the bed, he promoted one of his arms above his head. In Johnny’s defence, he thought it would be the easiest position that you could lay down on him and he could wrap his arm around you. Keep your head on his shoulder, but all you could do was let out a shaky breath.

His white t-shirt rose a little in the process, exposing a tiny bit of his lower abdomen. His black boxers and abs immediately caught your eye and you felt yourself get wet. Johnny could immediately smell your arousal. Your eyes hungry as they stared at him. Was this how you had stared at Jaehyun’s hands?

Fuck it. He had to at least teach you a lesson not to drool over any other man. Especially since you were his and his only.

“Like what you see?” He teased and your eyes met his. Cheeks flushed and with your mouth slightly opened, you couldn’t help but to nod.

“How about you let me play with you? I promise I won’t mate you. I could just make you cum and let you focus on other things.” It was tempting to say the least and Johnny promised he wouldn’t mate you. There couldn’t be any harm in that, right? The thought of cuming made you clench your pussy. You could get the best of both worlds, you just had to be careful.

“Please…” You whined as you walked over to your alpha and Johnny sat up on the bed. You felt so small as you stood in front of him. You were the same height as him right now, only he was sitting down and you were standing. His hand reached out to pull a few strands of your hair away from your face and tug them behind your ear.

“But first… I do think you need to be reminded who you belong to, don’t you think?” At Johnny’s words there were no thoughts left in your head and you only got more turned on by the second. Johnny closed his eyes for a second as he allowed his body to take in your scent.

“Think I need to leave some marks on that pretty ass of yours. Make sure everyone knows who you belong to.” At this, your breath hitched, eyes glowing with excitement. “We talked about this right? Green means all good, yellow for if it hurts and you need a break-“

“And red if I want it to stop.” You interrupted him, excitement rushing through your whole body as you remembered how the two of you discussed some of your kinks not too long ago. You had even been the one that brought it all up a lonely night when your hand hadn’t been enough to satisfy you. Johnny knew exactly what you liked and would finally be able to explore it.

“Exactly… However, you can’t interrupt me whenever you want little one. Over my knee and make sure you count.” Anticipation filled your body as you did what you were told and laid your body over Johnny’s knees, giving him the perfect view of your ass. His hand caressed it, gentle strokes that made you lean into his touch. Wanting more.

“Let’s see if you can be a good girl to your alpha.” Johnny’s voice had softened and both you and your wolf whined. Both wanting nothing more than to submit to your alpha. His hand left your butt cheek shortly after, only to deliver a slap a second later. A gasp escaped your lips as you felt the impact.

It stung a little, but it didn’t hurt too bad. The reason you had gasped was more because of the shock. The thrill of not knowing when he would spank you. “One.” You counted.

“Good girl, was it alright?” He asked, not wanting to push you too much on your first time. Only wanting to put you in your place for speaking back and ogling his beta. The hand that had made the impact stayed on your ass, rubbing it softly.

“It felt so good.” You moaned and for the first time since you had started your heat, the pain had been replaced by pleasure. Johnny hummed in approval before he spanked you again. This time your other cheek.

“T-two.” You mewled and so it went on until Johnny had delivered five spanks on each cheek. Your voice week, panties drenched as you counted for him. “Ten.”

“Good girl.” He praised and you could swear you’d never been this turned on in your life before. “Now it’s time for your reward. Lay down on your back.”

You followed Johnny’s orders, weakly getting off his lap in order to lay down on the bed. Your whole body felt weak as you awkwardly climbed onto your bed on all fours before you laid down on your back. Johnny got up from his sitting position and stood now beside your bed.

A yelp left your lips as Johnny took hold of your ankles, dragging your body closer to him. Your legs dangled off the edge of the bed as he placed himself between them. Still holding your ankles, he locked eyes with you. His gaze filled with pure lust.

“You look so small little one, bet you’d let your alpha do anything to you, wouldn’t you?” He growled and you arched your back, desperately seeking out his touch. But his hands stayed wrapped around your ankles, even as he slowly got down on the floor. His body now between your legs, face dangerously close to your core.

From this angel, he could see how drenched you were. Your body squirming with anticipation of what he would do next and he loved it. Loved how he was the one who made you feel like this.

“But I want you to know that I’m at your mercy, always.” Johnny spoke with a low voice, placing a sweet kiss on top of your thigh. You got up on your elbows so you could see him more clearly. On his knees, in front of you, at your mercy, Alpha Johnny Suh was certainly a sight to see.

“I want…” You began, locking eyes with him as he encouraged you. One hand on your knee rubbing soothing circular motions, he waited for you to speak. “Could you eat me out? Please.”  

Johnny wanted to tell you that you didn’t even have to ask but his mouth found your thigh once again only a second after the words left your mouth. His kisses now rougher, hungrier as he made his way slowly upwards. His hands explored your body on their own, one found their way to your ass while the other one played with your boobs.

His body worked on its own accords, as if it wasn’t his first time exploring yours. As if you had been his forever. Every touch made you crave him more.

The hand that had been playing with your boob left and you let out a whine that was soon replaced by a moan as you realized where it was going. Taking hold of the side of your panties with both hands, Johnny dragged the drenched material down your legs and threw it away.

With your panties now on the floor, Johnny had a perfect view of your puffy pink drenched folds. Not wanting to waste any time, he spread your legs even further apart. Giving himself more room to devour you and you sighed the moment his mouth came in contact with your core.

His tongue collected all your wetness. His primal need of eating you out completely took over the moment he got a taste of you. The whimper that left your mouth as he traced your clit was so sweet that Johnny wanted to hear nothing else for the entire night. His mouth stayed on clit, circular motions that made you reach your high ridiculously fast.

“C-close.” You moaned and Johnny took the que to go faster, desperate to have you cum on his tongue. Your high washed over you and you tried to desperately get away from your alpha, oversensitivity had kicked in the moment you started coming down.

Johnny, however, pinned you down. He wanted to savour this moment and he wasn’t going to let you escape it. With his hands on your thighs, he held you down onto the mattress. No matter how much you whined, squirmed and tugged at his hair, he wouldn’t stop devouring you. The only mercy you were shown was when his mouth vent further down, tasting your cum before he licked it all up as well.

His primal need to clean his mate overthrew any logical thinking. Growling into your heat as he licked you clean. A hum off approval left his lips when your oversensitivity slowly went away and you relaxed in his embrace.

“You okay?” He asked and you nodded. Your body no longer felt as if it was on fire or in any pain. You were at ease. Johnny had helped you through your heat.

“Are you going to stay?” You asked and soon you felt his presence beside you. Johnny was now sitting on the bed beside you instead of in between your legs.

“Do you want me to?” He asked and you almost wanted to laugh. As if that was even a question, of course you wanted him to stay.

“Yes silly, now get in here.” You said as you crawled up further on the bed. Johnny’s hungry stare never left your half naked body which only made your confidence grow. You may have pulled through your heat, but you still desired him, now more than ever. Screw your plans, you wanted him.

“Y/n… you need to put on some clothes… or I won’t-“

“Won’t what?” You cut him off, and his eyes shifted to focus on yours. His stare purely animalistic as your eyes shifted from his to look further down. Your mouth watered at the sight off his hard dick that was trapped underneath his layers of clothes. “Don’t.” He warned, and you looked into his eyes again.

“Or what?” You challenged and Johnny replied with his alpha voice. “Or you’ll be in for a long night.”  

“I want that… I want you…” You whispered and Johnny’s eyes widened.

“Are you sure?” He asked and you nodded as you answered him. “Please mate me alpha.”

That was all Johnny needed to know before he let himself go. A long night waited for the two of you. Finally, you were his and he was yours. 

[larrysballetslippers]

Hey, I saw you write fictions. Could you help me understand how to go about writing fictions and what are the basic steps? I want to write a larry fiction but english isn't my first language and my vocabulary isn't advanced. I, however, do want to give a try maybe a short fiction. How do formulate a fiction? I have some ideas but I can't divide them into chapters and generate enough scenes. I have tried to write sometimes but it's always a dead end and I don't know to proceed.

Personally I like how read story where there's seeding in every chapter with some backstory which gradually gets revealed. I am into a/b/o phase right now and want to write a good story with basic yet great plotline which keep my readers hooked.

I have so many questions to ask. Sorry for this long ask and Thank you if you respond.

Hey sweetie. How do I say this without sounding self-deprecating? I'm still a beginner, I technically wrote two fics. I'm currently working on my first "advanced" fic, which means I'm still learning, A LOT. I can't really be a teacher right now, but I can give you some tips. I can help you with what I learned since I started writing and link some good blogs/posts. This is going to be long, so cut.

First, some tips.

1. There are so many superior writers out there, but everyone has to start somewhere.

You can't start writing with the idea you're the greatest writer on the planet. I wrote down my first story when I was eight. Did it have a good plot? No. Did it have well thought out characters? Absolutely not. Did I make a story inspired by my favourite superhero show? Yes. It was probably 300 words max and with horrible grammar. I'm a very imaginative person, so I make stories up in my head, but that was the first one I wrote down. I haven't written much since then, just some school projects and little things here and there. I only started really writing in April, I think. It was rough, but fun. It was a canon-compliant story, so it didn't need that much planning out, I thought. When I finished, I was so proud. Then I started my second fic and I realized my first wasn't the best. I was so sad when I read it back, disappointed it didn't turn out the way I had in mind. But I shook it off, realized it was my first fic, EVER. So I shouldn't put myself down. You have to start writing to get good, you can't expect to be Jane Austin without putting one word down. Don't COMPARE yourself to others.

2. Plot is never truly original.

Like music, there isn't somsthing like an original plot. Everything is taken from something else. Every plot in the world has taken inspiration from somewhere else. You can write an a/b/o fic with a spy theme, it's very clever, but not original. You've taken an a/b/o plot and combined it with a spy plot. Don't be afraid to write a cliche plot, it's about the way you write it. That's why no two fics are the same, the writer is different.

3. Find a beta you trust.

When I first started the first part of my fic (it was a series), I didn't know what a beta really did, so I asked someone to correct my grammar and that was that. In the second and third part of that fic I didn't even do that, I tried to correct everything myself. Part 4 of my series I asked a beta to help me, it was wonderful. It's the best part of my whole fic and I'm forever grateful for that beta. We weren't the best match, so we couldn't continue working together. The fic I'm writing now is much longer than anything I ever written, so I needed a good and available beta. I found one, the angel of all angels. You need to find someone that will help you with your story, but also encourage when you feel like complete trash. Believe me, you will. It's important you have someone to brainstorm with and laugh with over your your character's dumb jokes.

4. Your English is better than you think.

I'm not a native English speaker, shocker right? No, I'm joking, I'm not the best. BUT I'm understandable, right? That's important. You don't need to have fancy words to write a story. Use the words you know and if you want to improve your vocabulary, do that, with time. You don't need to be an native speaker in a day, it takes time. I'll link some good sites for vocabulary.

5. Read more fics

A good way to improve your vocabulary, read more fics. You clearly enjoy it, use it to improve yourself. Not only for vocabulary but for the plot, characterization, world-building, etc. Take in the things you want to remember, forget the rest.

6. Copy and paste

Maybe a bad thing to say, but copy and paste things you like. If there's a sentence in a fic or book you like, copy it. Of course, don't just paste it in your fic, but take inspiration out of it. Why do you like it so much? Why does it come over so good? Any words you want to use? Is the structure of the sentence appealing? Think about it, so you can improve your fic. Especially with areas you struggle with, take a look at other works.

7. Smut is scary, but don't be scared to try.

Is smut something you want to write? You don't have to, but if you want, don't be scared. As someone who wrote two smut scenes in her life, I'm struggling, but I'm trying. Take all the tips above this and just try. Things may go terribly wrong, but that's why you're practising.

8. Research research research!

Things like smut, fantasy, minority groups. You can't just write about it without any knowledge, research it. Articles, youtube videos, blogs on tumblr, etc. A simple kiss scene can be difficult if you have no knowledge about it, read people's first kiss stories or something like that. Want to try and write BDSM, read about it on a BDSM blog. Research the heck out of it.

9. Just to say it again. DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS.

Just to summarise, you're you, don't try to be someone else. You're writing style isn't worse than someone else's, it's just different. It makes your work recognisable, your text original, your hours of writing easier. Someone told me I can write young people really well, I owned it. Find what you're good at and own it.

Now that I have given you some important tips to start, I'll answer your question. How to go about writing fiction?

Everyone is different first of all, so please don't take my word for it. This is my routine, I just made up.

1. What do you want to write?

Is it your own idea, a prompt, a fic fest, an exchange?

2. What universe does take part in?

Does take place in the real world or a fantasy world? The past, present or future? Realistic or supernatural? Which country?

3. What is the goal?

Are they supposed to be lovers at the end? Do they have to defeat something/someone? A quest? Where do you want to end the story?

4. Where does it start?

Where does your story start? At the birth of your characters? In the future and you work your way back? In the middle? When your important characters meet each other for the first time?

5. What does it take to get from start to finish?

What happens in the story? What developments happen? Is it a road trip and your characters need to get closer, how do they do that?

6. What are some subplots you want to add?

Are there things that don't really matter for your goal, but you want to add? Friends to lovers but maybe they help someone's mom out one day.

7. Who are your characters?

Their personalities, appearances, quirks, relationships.

8. Who is the protagonist?

Who is the story about? Who is the main character?

9. In whose point of view is it?

Who is telling the story? You, the protagonist, the love interest, a random bystander, etc?

10. Outline.

Write down what you want to do with your story. Every scene needs to be written down. You can always change it of course.

11. Write, write and write.

Take all the tips and write.

I want to give you some links I always use. I will also recommend some blogs.

This tool lets you describe a concept and get back a list of words and phrases related to that concept: https://www.onelook.com/thesaurus/

This article about body language: https://www.writerswrite.co.za/cheat-sheets-for-writing-body-language/

This tumblr post about body language: https://badassunicorn2016.tumblr.com/post/145725344712/writing-tip-june-4th

This article for alternatives for 'said': https://owlcation.com/humanities/400-Alternative-words-for-said

This tumblr post about writing smut: https://larryficsvol28.tumblr.com/post/660062510531182592/smut-101-a-tutorial-for-beginners

This tumblr post about how to make smut sound sexy:https://larryficsvol28.tumblr.com/post/658604597068365824/making-smut-sound-sexy

This tumblr post about turning ideas into a story: https://larryficsvol28.tumblr.com/post/659430707796557824/i-get-lots-of-ideas-for-stories-which-are-just

I have some blogs you can follow that talk about writing.

This podcast blog @roseanddaggerpodcast

This blog has a podcast too and some good fic recs @allwaswell16

These writing blogs @ficsex @writingquestionsanswered @bhficfest https://wordsnstuffblog.com/

Some veterans writers and also have some good fic recs @twopoppies @justalarryblog @kingsofeverything @louandhazaf @hershelsue @lululawrence @pocketsunshineharry @fearlesslysweetcreature @indiaalphawhiskey

I hope I could help you a little. In some weird way I helped myself, hehe. I hope you can finally write the story you want. If you ever have any questions, just come by. I don't know if I can always help you, but I'll try!! Good luck!!

[whatdamiwatched]

Max & Helen - From the Beginning...

In preparation for the sharpwin ship sailing next week, I went and rewatched season 1 to really contextualise the way their relationship has developed, and I have to say it was quite eye opening.

The Introduction

We are introduced to Georgia in the first scene with Max via his phone screen, there’s a photo of her as his background photo. Their first conversation on screen happens when he calls her in the middle of this day just after he speaks to Helen for the first time

Max- Just calling to say hi

Georgia- Really?

Max- isn’t that what people do?

Georgia- people, yes. You…not so much.

Max- I’m trying, I’m going to change, I’m going to win you back

Georgia- well you have 12 weeks.

It isn’t until later that we find out fully that this marriage is failing and being held together by guilt and a difficult pregnancy, which makes it even worse that Max’s attempt at “trying” was calling her in the middle of the day to say nothing compelling.

Enter Helen- confident, smart, an asset to the hospital and the only doctor Max personally seeks out on his first day- to insist that she immediately cut down on travel or get fired. While the other doctors are stats and figures to him when he starts at New Amsterdam, Helen is Dr Helen. Already their relationship is being established as different from his relationship with the other doctors. In a throat biopsy, he’s distracted by her on tv- so distracted in fact, that he’s pushed to give her another ultimatum even though the first one hasn’t expired.

Max’s ultimatum was significant for Helen because for the first time since she had been running and hiding from the pain in her life, someone saw her and cared enough to make her stop. Even though it was a medical director she just met, and it was because of work, it was grounding for her for someone to see her and need her in that way.

Her choosing to come back was significant, not just because of Max, but because it was the catalyst for facing the emotional baggage she had been trying to escape.

So here we are- Max in the hospital where his sister died and donated her organs, trying to find closure and Helen- weighed down by emotional baggage that she’s ready to face.

Tell Me One True Thing

Georgia and Max meet in the hospital where he works- her energy is light and energetic; their connection is fun and their first date is in the hospital cafeteria. From that scene, their banter is fun and flirty, but Max is relaxed – they both are, it’s an easy connection. When Max proposes, he does it by the hospital when he’s on call! He’s in his scrubs and not only does he think that’s okay- she thinks that’s okay.

Their relationship never really existed outside of his career, he never put her first, and she points this out when she finds out about the medical director job. She knows that he will not choose her over the hospital, especially not the hospital where Luna died. The thing is, Max doesn’t even really try. He never chooses her, and she never actually expects him to.

When he almost dies at the lake and has the temporary epiphany that he has to take his cancer seriously, she doesn’t advocate for him to leave his job- even though…he almost died. She knows the job still comes first. Georgia and Max’s relationship thrived on emotional distance- when Georgia begs him in her hospital bed to tell her one true thing- he could only say- I love you. While he and Helen debated his cancer treatment, her only input was going with what Max wanted? When he woke up from his minor tooth surgery, his first thought wasn’t how the surgery chain went, it was what helen said specifically.

I love my doctor

Before Helen, Max had likely never felt true intimacy and vulnerability. He had likely never been able to be himself completely with a partner. We don’t know much about his relationship with his parents, but we can deduce that he’s not close to them.

Although the physical chemistry was palpable from their first scene, Max and Helen built a friendship based on trust and honesty since they let each other in very early. This relationship was built with the best intentions but every relationship comes to a point where emotion supersedes emotion and that’s where we ended up at 1x 16 where the clairvoyant tells Max that he’s going to lose someone close to hum. As soon as she assured him that it wasn’t his wife, he pulls Helen aside to reassure her and try to explain how he feels about her ending by saying “I love my doctor”.IN THE MIDDLE OF TREATING A PATIENT IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM WHILE MARRIED. At this point, both Max and Helen are at a crossroads of the undeniability of their connection, even though they are both too principled and respectful to call it anything other than “this thing between us”.

At the lake, when he goes to spread ashes for Luna, he says to her- or to the wind that he’s addressing as her- everything I do is because of you. I just keep trying to save you , over and over that’s all I do and I never, never will.

Now where did we end up hearing those EXACT words before?

In that moment, it’s Max admitting that he’s been consumed with emotions that are clouding his judgment and he has to let go.

When Helen uses those words in 2x16, the subtext is the same. By that time, she had saved his life and even Georgia’s life- multiple times. She even saved his life twice in one episode! She saved his life by taking on his cancer in the first place, she saved his life by choosing to pass him off to another doctor when he was using their relationship as an opportunity to not take his cancer seriously and she saved his life by making the decision for him to stop that treatment when it wasn’t working. She took on the role of deputy medical director- which let’s face it was more or less the medical director, she found him, not one but two trials, she gave up half her department that she loved more than anything. She gave up her romantic relationship- she meant it when she said everything I’ve done I’ve done for you- just like Max meant it when he said it to Luna. Max and Helen had have both poured themselves into people that couldn’t pour back, one because she was dead, and the other because he had too many warring emotions to deal with.

Helen could have let Max save her more- he definitely was willing to be that person and showed it many times, but we have to accept that she was in a very difficult position. Just as soon as she felt settled, started a new relationship, made a decision about freezing her eggs, she’s hit with a consuming, intimate relationship with someone that’s married. She had to leave some walls up.  

Everything I Do Is For You

Their characters have gone through a lot- Helen has a dead parent and a dead fiancée, fertility issues and a fear of vulnerability and the feeling of running out of time- Max has a dead wife, who he had outgrown emotionally, raising a child alone, battling with grandparents that blame him for their daughter’s death and parents that by all indications don’t play a significant role in his life, plus a dead sister he has carried with him his whole life. Finding each other was in many ways, the catalyst each of them needed to move forward with life at so many points. For Max, he could have very well died without Helen- Georgia could have died in the bedroom without Helen- his grieving process would definitely have been longer and more complicated without Helen – it wasn’t insignificant that she was the one that pushed the ghost of Georgia out of the apartment, she was an anchor through it all.

For Helen, she was pushed to come back to the hospital and by having that anchor to a place and her patients, she was able to explore romantic relationships and face her fertility and wanting a child head on, she was able to explore how much of herself she could give to another person again after Mohammed died and try another relationship. In turn, she was able to be in a different position when Mina came to live with her.

By Max receiving the kind of selfless love he had never gotten before (from the parts of his story we’ve been told), he was finally able to heal, from so much of the stuff he’d been carrying to come to a place where he feels able to match Helen’s energy. To come to a point where he’s able to see himself as a WHOLE person, not just a flawed one- not just a guilty one- not just an overworked or crazy or erratic one. The speech at the end of 3x13 to Luna’s parents showed just how far he’s come; how much he’s changed and how much his relationship with Helen has changed him. The confidence that he was enough as- is a Max that we had never seen before.

And Helen- naming them- before now, it’s always been Max with his double meanings  and his “I want to build something better for you and Mina” and “It helps not to be alone” and “I can’t do this without you”, but this time it’s Helen- Helen who is saying “us”- Helen who is putting them together as a family and is relaxed and comfortable doing so. Helen who isn’t simply giving him advice as a friend or listening to him but giving him advice as an anchor- we are here and we are fine and you need to fight for our family because it’s worth it.

I see you

The decon shower. His hand trailing down her neck. Those voicemails. Here they are finally, trying to get into an ADULT relationship. Moving beyond the cute hand holding and lingering looks, to hopefully many kisses, many distractions and many mornings waking up next to each other.

Sharpwin is coming and I’m ready!

[jonsa101]

Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson: The Well-Meaning, Incredibly Self-Centered Leading Men We’ve Grown to Love.

Hey fam! Like I said, I’ve been writing a ton of meta lately and this is another one that’s just been sitting in my drafts. It’s basically a This Is Us and a New Amsterdam meta which is something I haven’t done before but something I want do more of. In my Game of Thrones days I used to write a lot of meta about shows and characters that had similarities so this is fun for me. I hope y’all enjoy this. ALSO THIS HAS SPOILERS FOR BOTH SHOWS!!!!!!!

Without a doubt the two most popular shows on NBC is This is Us and New Amsterdam. And what’s not to love? They’re both emotionally driven, heartfelt, shows that focus on incredibly deep and complex topics. Though one show focuses on family dynamics and the other focuses on the healthcare system, these shows are very similar in more ways than one. Case in point, Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson. The more I watch these two shows, the more I realize how these two characters are so alike!!! These two men are kind-hearted, well intentioned, individuals who genuinely want to make some sort of positive difference. They are incredibly ambitious and always have “bright ideas” and “goals” they want to accomplish and somehow they’re able to meet those goals without ever having to sacrifice their wants and needs. By every definition these men are the “main characters” or the ultimate “protagonists.” These are the folks that we are supposed to root for. At the same time, though these men have many traits to be admired, when you truly look at it both of them can be incredibly self centered and selfish especially when it pertains to their romantic partners and love interests. No matter how appealing you make these characters out to be these men clearly fall under the Behind Every Great Man trope.

The Behind Every Great Man trope has been used countless of times throughout Cinema and TV History that I’m sure that I don’t even have to explain it to you but for the sake of this meta this is how it’s defined.

“Behind Every Great Man...stands an even greater woman! Or in about a hundred variations is a Stock Phrase referring to how people rarely achieve greatness without support structures that go generally unappreciated, and said support structure is a traditionally female role via being the wife, mother, or sometimes another relation. This trope is specifically about a man who is credited with something important, but owes much of his success to the woman in his life.”

This trope usually has a negative connotation (and rightfully so) because the man who often benefits from this is an asshole and unworthy of this type of support!

For example:

Oliva and Fitz

Cristina Yang and Burke

Cookie and Lucious

Ghost and Tasha

There are countless others but these are a few of the couples that come to mind for me. Randall and Max aren’t comparable to any of these men that are listed above but they are still operating under the same trope. It just looks nicer because Max and Randall are inherently good and inspirational. They are the heroes of the story. I would even argue and say that both men fall under the Chronic Hero Syndrome trope which is defined as

“Chronic Hero Syndrome is an "affliction" of cleaner heroes where for them, every wrong within earshot must be righted, and everyone in need must be helped, preferably by Our Hero themself. While certainly admirable, this may have a few negative side-effects on the hero and those around them. Such heroes could wear themselves out in their attempts to help everyone or become distraught and blame themselves for the one time that they're unable to save the day. Spending so much time and effort saving everyone else can also put a strain on the hero's personal or dating life.”

Just because Max and Randall have these incredibly inspiring aspirations, is it fair that their wives and love interests are always expected to rise to the occasion and support them. Is it ok for their partners to continuously sacrifice their wants and needs because they love these men? 

Let’s dive into it. 

Truth be told, Beth Pearson, Helen Sharpe and Georgia Goodwin had to endure a GREAT DEAL to emotionally support the dreams and aspirations of these men while sacrificing so much of themselves in the process. In media we often see women sacrificing so much of their wants and needs out of love for these male leads and rarely do men do the same thing for their romantic partners and love interests. All three of these women clearly fall under the Act of True Love trope defined as

“The Act of True Love proves beyond doubt that you are ready to put your loved one's interests before your own, that you are truly loyal and devoted to them. Usually this involves a sacrifice on your part, at the very least a considerable effort and/or a great risk. The action must be motivated, not by morals or principle or expectation of future reward, but by sheer personal affection.When your beloved is in dire need of your help, or in great danger, and you do something, at great expense to yourself, for the sake of their safety, their welfare, or their happiness, thus proving beyond any doubt that you put their interest ahead of yours.”

Over the past few seasons we have seen all three of these women truly live up to this trope without any true consequences or accountability from the men they’re making all these sacrifices for. For example, in Beth and Randall’s marriage, how many times did Randall spring an idea on Beth without truly talking to her or considering her wants first? Everyone thinks these two are an ideal couple but she has endured A LOT for Randall.

Randall has spontaneously quit his job, moved his dying biological dad into their home, bought his biological dad’s old apartment building, fostered and adopted a child and also ran for city councilman outside of his district. In all of these decisions, Randall “consulted” Beth about it but at the same time didn’t really consult her. In a way there has always been this expectation of Beth to just go along for the ride with what Randall wants. Is anyone else exhausted from reading that list?! That’s a lot for partner to endure and lovingly support. But Beth has endured and has been Randall’s rock through it all!!! What worries me is that the one time Beth spoke out about her wants and needs of pursuing dance again, he couldn’t match the same energy she was giving him and eventually it led to world war three between them. Though things are looking up in their relationship  and he’s starting to support her more, has Randall nearly given to Beth as much as she’s given to him? Absolutely not!

Similar to Randall, Max also had a wife who was a dancer. in fact, she was a prima ballerina. Unlike Randall and Beth, Max relationship with Georgia was rocky from the start. When we were first introduced to them Max and Georgia were separated and rightfully so. Georgia was never Max’s first priority. The hospital always came first in their relationship. He couldn’t even dedicate a full night to her for their proposal. In order to “save” their marriage they decide to have a baby and they both committed to taking a step back in their careers in order to do so. The problem was Max didn’t keep his side of their commitment and took a job to become the medical director at the biggest public hospital in the U.S. She gave up her career to start a family and he totally and completely betrayed her trust. So throughout season one we see them trying to rebuild their marriage but even in the midst of trying to rebuild a marriage based on trust and mutual respect Max still keeps things from Georgia. For several episodes he didn’t tell her that he had advance stages of throat cancer. He only told her when Georgia asked him to move back home. That’s fucked up! Then throughout their pregnancy he was never fully there for Georgia because he was either to preoccupied with the hospital or himself. At the end of it all, Georgia died tragically at the beginning of season two and really had nothing to show for it in her relationship with Max other than her daughter Luna.

Now let’s bring Helen Sharpe into the fold. While all of this stuff was going on with Max and his wife in season one, Max was developing a deep friendship, borderline emotional affair with Helen. Their relationship started out with Helen being his oncologist. As the new Medical Director of New Amsterdam, he swore Helen to secrecy about his diagnosis so that he could still run the hospital. Through that secrecy they eventually formed a deep bond but as his cancer got worse his secret was let out of the bag. He realistically needed someone to step up and run the hospital when he was going through chemo and though Helen already had commitments she stepped up and became his deputy medical director. Somewhere along the lines Max and Helen started developing feelings for each other. As Helen becomes aware of those feelings, she made a choice and decides to remove herself as Max’s doctor. He BITCHES about it but eventually accepts the boundary she’s clearly trying to set. Mind you, as this is unfolding, like Max, Helen is also in a new relationship with her boyfriend Panthaki. As Max’s cancer seems to be getting worse with his new doctor, she goes back on her boundary and decides to be his doctor again. This pisses her boyfriend off because he could already peep the vibe between them and he breaks up with her. When we get into season two, Max’s wife died and Helen set him up in a clinical trail (with a doctor she previously fired) that’s helping his cancer.  Unbeknownst to Max, this doctor ends up holding his life saving treatment plan over Helen’s head and in order for his treatment to continue she gives this doctor half of her department!

Helen has sacrificed a lot for Max and now in season three she’s finally prioritizing her current wants and needs first! Like Randall, Max is starting to turn a page and is starting to support Helen and truly listen to the wants and needs that she has. All of this is good but my question is did any of these women have to sacrifice so much for the men in their lives to get a clue?

Why is it that this is a trope we see in media time and time and time again? Even if these men are good, why don’t we still keep these male characters accountable when they put their significant others in these situations that are clearly not fair? I’ve watched countless tv shows and I’ve seen a lot of tv couples but I think I have only come across one couple where the male counterpart has selflessly loved his significant other and has always put her needs above his own. 

That character my friend is none other than PACEY WITTER

I might be mistaken but I think Joey and Pacey are the most popular ship in tv history and honestly, rightfully so! This is only example I can think of where the male in the relationship so willingly puts the wants and needs of his partner first. It is a completely selfless and sacrificial love. He never wants to hold her back and he never asks her to compromise her wants or needs for him. That’s why I think so many women love Pacey because in a sea of TV relationships, Pacey Witter is a fucking unicorn.

So to wrap this up does this mean that I hate Randall Pearson or Max Goodwin? No! I adore them. I love both of their characters so much. I just think that when we see the media continuously play out the sacrificial wife/love interest for the sake of their male counterparts, it should be called out. I’m all about sacrificial and selfless love but it should come from both sides.❤️❤️❤️

Anyway I hope y’all enjoy this! As always my DMs are opening here or on Twitter @oyindaodewale

[clandestine-j]

GOSSIP GIRL, EP. 5 REACTION & REVIEW

alright

this episode was pretty good, i'm here for this vibe if they continue with it. lots of shit happened, i have feelings about it so lets go!

(this episode also helped me discover i really am a horrible person lol)

ADULTS:

NICK X KATE: Nope! Full stop, don't want it. Bitch you nasty for being friendly with him while posting about his daughter. Nick x Davis is the true otp.

JORDAN & CO: JAIL. Plain and simple, ya'll enjoying this too much. Jail. Please. I beg. Ya'll are sick. A gun in a school and you're Bruce Wayne? Bitch.

KATE: As stated above and addition, I started to be cool with you. You still have to go jail but after serving time, I might be cool with you afterwards. Then you flip flop again went back to doing the worst. Limiting the comments doesn't help. Raggedy.

RAFA: PRISON. And let me tell you, my boy, Aki, he got Fox News in the back of his pocket so, step the fuck back. That's why Max figured yo ass out. GO TO PRISON. PRISON. And he tried to play him for a fool at the end. Prison isn't enough, vanish.

KIKI: SIS! You gotta get it together for your daughter. She can't be the more but, I feel you. Do better, be better. It's not as easy as just saying it but if you have family you can rely on, start to rely. You're daughter her habits from you.

OUR KIDS:

JULIEN: BIG SISTER ENGERY THIS EPISODE. I'M LOVING IT AND LOVING IT. I think she can stop trying a bit now and but I'm here for the connection, I'm here for it all. Quick thinker, knew the circle wasn't tight. She wasn't really there for Audrey but she has been, I think she just got caught up. Since Zoya moved there, they haven't had the chance to just be sisters, to just love each other without any drama. They have not only the past month to make up for but years and she wants to do right by Zoya. I'm glad she realized at the end that, she needed to be there for Audrey but I'm not upset because I get it. I also LOVE that she finally, stood up to Monet and say and get wit it or get it out. Boom. I've been waiting.

OBIE: I wanna ride hard for you because people keep talking about your hair line. I think you need to learn that relationships will have ups and downs and it won't be perfect all of the time. I feel like Obie is chasing perfection, no fights, no problems, just coasting and it won't happen, it'll never happen. Do better. That being said, I'm glad we got something from Obie. I'm glad we got to see him being the Prince of New York. It's hella shady that you didn't just come out with the truth and you wanted to do a song and dance but Obie is doing more and using that name so yes, give me character stuff.

MONET: BYE. No, but really. Amazing one liners as always. I liked the little fight with Julien, I felt a bit of distress, I'm into it. While I did expect her to cross Julien, I didn't expect her to cross Luna and all her hard work, that was dirty but you moving the story and shit so what can I say? I don't think Monet will go for the crown but I could see her finding someone to prop up. I want more of her parents, maybe she has a very bad relationship with her mom? Also, sis, Julien is right, you can't keep jumping clients when they want to change and do up their image. No sis, no. (And you almost tanked Julien's career soooooooooooo)

AUDREY: SIS U WERE SINKING. Okay, so Audrey isn't a character I feel that connected too. She's bitchy, a little less than Lunet but still. So, I have a hard time caring but objectively, you should break up with Aki. You know him by now and maybe it's comfort or you really want to have something. It's okay, break up with him because he's a friend and not the boyfriend you need. You want someone who will let you vent, not solve. Not see. Go live with Julien. The fight with your mom is understandable (And realize that forcing people on her won't work.) because you shouldn't have to be the back bone of the family. The dad line was a low blow, the airport thing was a low blow but you're a teenage girl and what can I say? Nothing, just don't become the woman you hate even though parents are the models. That being said, if I had seen her interacting with her dad more, the line wouldn't have been as low. But I can't tell that he loves her, we don't even get a phone conversation. Do better writers. And I think at the party, she got a chance to see how her mom felt. I don't know what happened to move but I think it has something to do with her meds. Audrey, be a boss. Break up, tell him that ya'll are better as friends because it won't go has bad as you think it will. Move in with Julien (I just want to see it happen.)

ZOYA: I don't even have much to say. My sis was popping off this episode. I got sass, I got questioning her relationship with Obie. Yes, talk about how you feel about him with the girls and go girl stuff. I really felt her when she said she wanted her own friend, writers please give her, her own friends. PLEASE. I'M BEGGING. Simon, you dirty dog. I'm glad Obie got it out but he could've said something to her. I'm sick. I'm more upset that he wasn't a new friend or a love interest. Just ugh. But I liked Zoya this episode, she could worry about normal teenage stuff for the most part without having to worry about being attacked by Monet and Luna.

LUNA: MY GOOD SIS. Just like I didn't expect Monet to turn on her, I didn't expect her to not stand by Monet. I know she was enjoying the Zoya vibe and thought it was cute, she was becoming a bit more friendly sure but I wow, yas. Go off girl. I want to see more of fashion stylist Luna, a Luna sponsored fashion show where Aki models and drama happens? I'd be here for it, I am here for it.

MAX: I was ready to box. Listen. I was ready to fight this point as much as I felt for him. So, the feeling for him. He honestly, believes that Rafa is good for him. And he was catching feelings? He thought Rafa needed him in his life because he had no family, he also has no family in a sense to him at least. So, he's really caught up in this man. And I feel so bad that he said he's sober when he's with him or something along those lines. That's heartbreaking. I'm glad that talk in the end pulled him out of it, I'm glad he realized that he had a hand to play in his friends not wanting to be around him or deal with him. I'm glad he followed them and was in on the hug. Wonderful. Now my dude, you do not deserve Aki, not as a romantic partner or a friend. My boy was seriously worried, and you blew down on him WHILE using a nickname for his nickname....sick. I was ready to throw hands, like. My spirit was not right. That was so low. I keep seeing people say that because Max wasn't in a relationship, Audrey shouldn't feel some type of way and Aki is just letting his hurt roll off because he's worried but while you didn't have a duty in the relationship, you had a duty as a friend, to both of them. You ghost for a week and say nothing, no talking about the blow up or the outing and you running with this little stanky thing, you try to ease back into the group, no. And you still don't deserve Aki's time. Like. My dude did not hit you up after the kiss, he was not checking for you on that dating app, he was interested in other mens, you sat between the couple. Okay. He had been checking on you from jump. Just no. I'm sick of the shit. Never step to my boy like that again.

AKI: MY boy. Lemme get this out the way. You need to listen, not solve or give perspective. Like, she doesn't need it. I get your friends in danger but express how serious you think this is to her. I get that a long-distance relationship might not bother you and you think things will work out because there are bigger problems but talk to her. Re-assure her. Or break up with her her. As I said before, ya'll will not hate each other if you break up. And learn to just, even, pretend or something but you struggle in this aspect. Do better. That being said, Aki, episode MVP. He said, something is off, take him down. My perfect himbo man, said not my watch. And listen, you can't be as pushy because people don't respond but I'm glad you were on it. You knew. You said, I'mma run up on this man and you did. Yes. That being said, stand up for yourself, this boy does not deserve your energy. I get it. You might have a crush, this is bestie but bestie has not been treating you right for a while. And this was a new love. You're too loving, let some of that going at Rafa energy pop out around the friend group. But you a king and you care so much, just re-focus for now. Find you a cute lil thang and make the boy jelly. I need this resolved before I can accept anything canon, fanfics is where I'll be. But overall, Aki was making moves, you gotta learn something from the right wing media mogul.

GROUP: I finally feel like I talk about them as a whole. I wish they would've shown the others being upset by Max's ghosting because ya'll acting lowkey outta pocket and I didn't see anyone but Audrey and Aki check for this boy. Like, do you really care? But he fit into the group hug at the end. I know Monet saw a rising star in Zoya at the bar place, you make this a powerful DUO. YOU KNOW YOU WERE FEELING HER. Luna and Monet roll their eyes Audrey but ya'll bet not play like the three of ya'll don't enjoy gossip, fashion, talking about people and lowkey making fun of Zoya's newbie-ness together. Honestly, I'm happy we got more group interactions and little moments, I can start to kind of see how they were friends for a while even if all of them aren't close.

Random Thoughts:

how was your son missing for two weeks on and off and there isn't more panic, you different but oh no heartbreak

aki is so loving towards everyone's parents, i love it

i also love that he assumed max was with aki

audrey as the child as it worse but her kiki's acting makes me feel for her more lol

the two girls were a bit of fun, i'd like to see monet take them down or build them up for fun

"i'm chuck bass" + the lil pull was great

i feel like max was already thinking about them becoming more when he mentioned audrey pushing him out but i'll take crumbs so he was probs just thinking about sex or the group as a whole

kate get out of nick's life, nick keep her out

zoya stop talking to that woman

jordan eww no, you can have kate

i'll ship obie and aki to get aki with someone that likes him and loves him, they talk, they have do something, i'll take it, whatever

i want throuple and i want akimax but not like this, i can't take the threesome scene unless max say's sorry and aki ducks him for half the episode if it's not that, i don't want it

maybe it's the start of a dream and it ends

(i do really want the ship but i don't trust the writers or the characters)

SIMON, I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU

who or what was max suppose to be?

why am i getting teachers and not family, i've seen jordan just one too many times

rafa prison

obie had shit to do this episode, use the money, i wanna see it

when will a student or random party gain control of gossip girl, give me that

rafa prison

i also think i’m a horrible person because i care more about stopping rafa than audrey’s home life so i was rooting for aki

overall, solid episode, maybe the footing has been found? i'm here for it and ep 6 looks like it's about to pop off