#i am making things worse on purpose haha

[imperatoralicia]

Just having some drinks at the local saloon.

[flamboyant-king]

I’ve been hearing different kinds of art advice and I’m torn on them.

Should you go through and finish something even though it doesn’t look good and is flawed in many ways OR scrap the piece and do it a different way/abandon the idea altogether?

[mysticheathenn]

What's Your Sign of Encouragement?

Hi there! I hope you all enjoy it and remember to take what resonates and leave what does not as this is a general reading. This reading does not supplement your need to go and seek actual therapy or professional help.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

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Pile l:

Tarot: Knight of Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles, The Star (reversed), 7 of Wands. Oracle: Healing, Life Purpose, Happiness, Financial Health

"You are not in a prison" was a phrase I heard as I was shuffling your tarot cards pile 1. There is a difference between being in a prison and also being in your own way. You're causing yourself to stay stuck not ever seeing that you have the key to freedom. Your mind is holding you hostage as your soul is begging to be set free. "Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you find yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of happiness? You think it's not possible for someone like you. But you are more than deserving" - Beyonce. Some of the words I changed because she was talking about love/Jay-z from the Lemonade album but why are you so afraid of good things, boo when good things are calling for you. Open up the wounds that have hurt you and heal. Your life purpose is calling you, financial abundance is also calling you but you need to wake up. Change your mindset and ways. Stop self-sabotaging and seek some healing and therapy. I want to see you win, others want to see you win. But it all starts with you wanting to see yourself win too. I wish I could hug you pile 1, you need it the most right now but I know you got this. Keep reminding yourself that you are a star, you ARE the main character and take your time one foot after another. I know life is shit right now but see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Pile ll:

Tarot: None Oracle: Answers, Finding, Home, Passion, Courage "The answers you seek are inside of you. You're looking everywhere but where you need to be looking, inside." You may be trying to find yourself looking everywhere from social media, to finding yourself in love partners, careers, etc when you should be looking inside of you. Listen to your intuition, listen to the fire that most likely has been burning inside of you but you have been ignoring it out of fear that no one will like this new version or worse maybe you won't like this new person you feel deep down inside. Do not be afraid pile ll. There is a saying that goes "Don't let the money change you, let it make you" from the iconic movie Player's Club but in the sense of this context I am saying embrace the change but don't let the change break you or turn into something that it isn't. You are meant for change, growth, and finding your sense of home this lifetime. You deserve to be at peace and comfort in not only your own skin but the people around you. Find your community, find where you belong, there are billions of people out there who are dying to meet this new version of you, but you have to be willing to show up. Your pile surprisingly didn't need any tarot only oracle cards and the messages were coming in. Have the courage pile ll. *Viola Davis Voice from the Help* You are safe. You is loved. You is welcomed. You is amazing. make that your mantra as you find your sense of home, belonging, acceptance, and self-love.

Pile lll:

Tarot: The Magician (reversed), 10 of Wands, Knight of Wands (reversed), The Lovers, 7 of Cups Oracle: Friendship, Fertility, Boundaries, Prosperity, Strength Pile lll why are you almost always my pile with romance, friendship, or family with boundary problems, haha. Who do I need to smack for you guys because this has to stop, my guy. For some strange reason, I feel one of you said I need to smack everyone for you and I believe it. Two songs are coming in for you and that's "We're Not Going To Take It by Twisted Sisters and "Loverboy by Mickey and Sylvia both popular songs back in the day especially Lover Boy as it was in the original movie Dirty Dancing. You are sick and tired of being sick and tired and you're becoming fed up with being presented bread crumbs for your relationships whether this is romantic or platonic. You want more from the people around you but you fear leaving because you feel you don't have any other options. If not other options you aren't sure if this is as good as it gets and it's not. There is always a bigger and better everything in life. As soon as you think that you have reached greatness or met the best person in the world you meet a whole new level of amazing you keep climbing from there. Just know that whatever whoever you are dealing with you have a whole community behind you waiting to help you pick up where you are and show you a whole new world. If not the current people in your life new people are coming in as well wanting to show you the better things whether it's food, clothes, community, love, career...you name it. Don't believe for a second that you don't have options because you will always have options. A few of you may have been drawn to pile 1 as well. It's okay to start over and it's okay to set boundaries. Take a deep breath and dare to do what is right for you and believe that your life is abundant in all ways possible.

That's all I have for everyone. I hope you enjoyed this reading. Until next time, stay safe and blessed.

[prince-liest]

Omg, I just wanted to say I ADORE your characterization of Al and Vox! I don't even have the words to express how much I love reading your stuff, especially the Anon responses you post on here. The behind the scenes thoughts are literally my food, lifesource, its so good when people not only write characters IN CHARACTER, but also include stuff about their analysis/understanding of the character too.. I'm literally obsessed with breaking down characters and yk, cracking their chrome domes open to see how they work (which admittedly, I am not the best at <_< but I love reading them). Just wanted to say how much I love your writing. I had maybe 2 questions, please don't feel pressured to answer them :>

What in your mind (in reference to the 66.6 fics) would motivate Alastor to let Val get close to him in the first place? Or was that more you picking these two characters up by the scruff of their necks and plopping them into a hypothetical scenario to explore their character and write some fun intimate thingsTM?

What do you think of the dynamic of Vox and Al vs something like Lucifer and Al? Personally I've noticed that something Alastor craves, behind the mask of his static smiling persona, is attention. He's (at least how I saw it) usually peeved when people don't care about his absence, and seems especially bothered by the King of Hell refusing to really acknowledge him, so he goes out of his way to push Lucifers buttons (like calling himself a father figure to Charlie, IN FRONT OF HER ACTUAL FATHER LOL) whereas with Vox, Vox is literally CONSTANTLY thinking about Alastor. Man literally interrupted his regular TV program to do a segment about how much he totally didn't at ALL care about Alastors dissapearance or the fact that he returned (suree buddy). So Alastor can have more fun with him and annoy him by ignoring and messing with him on purpose.

ty if you do respond to this, sorry if it was hard to understand, sometimes I forget how to put the thoughts in my brain into coherent words!

Ahhhh, thank you very much, anon! I'm especially happy that you're enjoying my commentary on Tumblr, haha - I spent a while on Twitter because that's where all the fandom zines I was in were being hosted, but nothing beats Tumblr for giving me a nigh-unlimited word count and a captive audience for my rambling! >:D <3 I'm back to cocooning myself on the OG hell site.

Thank you for this ask, it really brightened my day! :D

As for your questions:

1. I'm assuming that was a typo and that you mean Vox (but in case you did mean Val: that was just a funny accident of him walking by the room! Alastor wasn't paying enough attention until it was too late), and to that I say:

I think Alastor allows Vox to take a go at him in canon because he finds Vox's obsession with him to be entertaining, but also because Alastor is kind of a narcissist and that same obsession massively feeds his ego, especially in a political climate that otherwise forgot about Alastor. Vox's whole "Who gives a shit about Alastor coming back?! Haha, now let me have a public meltdown and short out power to the whole city about it! Oh, fuck, why is he back, though?? Can we send a spy in to find out??" is exactly the reaction that Alastor wants every time he mentions his mysterious absence and gets brushed off.

At the same time, Alastor doesn't seem to register Vox as a sincere and genuine threat. He's a big enough fish in the Pride Ring pond that his obsession with Alastor is gratifying, but Alastor's self-absorption also doesn't really allow him to treat Vox as a threat tier above "annoying in a funny way, and also television is stupid." (Perhaps this will change in season 2... :eyes: (or perhaps Alastor will get Even Worse) (please god let him get even worse))

So those two things in combination make Vox the perfect candidate for Alastor to experiment with while maintaining his ego and not feeling particularly threatened. Despite Vox's Safeword 101 talk, Alastor would never put stock into that system with Vox unless he was certain that he himself would be able to back up a 'no' with overwhelming force. Him even considering safewords in the Live On Air! series is less for his own sake and more a politesse he offers on Vox's request to warn Vox to slow the fuck down before Alastor tries to put his insides on the outside.

2. And in direct contrast, we have Lucifer...

... Who Alastor obviously actually cares quite a bit about, because he's a whole nother power tier from both Vox and Alastor, and furthermore and possibly even more importantly, a credible threat to Alastor's relationships and standing in the hotel. I think a lot of discussion I see about Alastor prodding Lucifer seems to talk about how quickly he got annoyed about Lucifer's comments, but that misses the fact that he was pissed off before Lucifer even showed up. He got pissy the moment he saw the welcome sign, actually! And I wager that he was narratively absent for the scene where Charlie actually calls Lucifer because he would have done his best to manipulate her out of doing so had be been there.

And given that the two clearly haven't met before (though obviously Alastor knows of Lucifer - and hates that the inverse isn't true, hah), it's not 100% clear exactly why he's immediately so annoyed, but in my personal view of things and barring something like "he's projecting onto Lucifer because his contract is with Lilith," I think that what we know of Alastor's personality points most strongly to "he liked being the hotel's benefactor and sees it as His Project, and doesn't like the idea that Charlie called daddy for something that she thought mysterious, powerful Alastor couldn't handle." He distracts a lot with obviously-goading comments about practically being Charlie's dad in his duet with Lucifer, but underneath that he puts a lot of emphasis on the work he's done for the hotel and the fact that he's been supporting Charlie and the hotel from the start, so why the fuck is this deadbeat asshole suddenly turning up?!

Tl;dr: Charlie missed her insight roll on Alastor's personal investments and he's sooooo offended - and taking it out on Lucifer!

I think one of my favorite things about both Lucifer and Alastor is that they both sooo obviously belong in the Pride Ring, hahaha.

[yuri-is-online]

Head up this ask is kinda weird.

So do you think people wear perfume in omegaverse AUs 😀? Because the fact that everyone already has scents, perfume has to kind if clash with it right? Maybe some people use light perfumes to enhance their scents, and then those "Alpha Male" (omg that just gets a whole other meaning) podcast bros call it catfishing.

Would perfume even exist in the first place? I don't really see a purpose for perfume if everyone already has a scent... but bro imagine Yuu (who isn't from an a/b/o world and is getting really confused as to what the fuck an omega is and cringes every time of the guys calls themselves an alpha. Meanwhile everyone else is trying to figure out why this weirdo doesn't even have the slightest sent. Especially jade becuase I'm on that JadeYuu shit rn) that wears perfume or cologne trying to get more. And when they can't find any at Sam's they just try to fucking make it. I mean it's a little weak smelling and some of the notes don't exactly go with the others but hey! They have something to spritz now! :)

And now their friends are doing double takes because bro you did not smell like that last night. Also it smells artificial and it's weirding them out

Anyways I sincerely apologize for making you read that.

oh no you don't go apologizing for this confused, a/b/o is a guilty pleasure of mine (also i am doing concept drawings for asmodeaus rn. the timing of this ask made me laugh real hard) This isn't a smutty ask, but just so all of you know, I am good with those since I need the practice with suggestive stuff. I just won't be very good at it for a bit.

Anyway. I have never actually thought about this, but I have always sort of thought of scents in abo worlds to be a very instinctual thing that no amount of perfume can cover up. I don't know if you've ever encountered a scent you can taste but I have, a light in the room of a pool I was swimming in went out and let out a smoke so foul you could still feel it on your tongue and in your lungs when you pinched your nose. It was beyond overwhelming. That doesn't mean there's any less of a reason for perfumes to exist though, as I talked about in that post about Rollo's handkerchief in the past disease was thought to have been spread through foul smelling odors and bad air. If anything I could see that being an even bigger superstition in an abo world where scent is already super important. I could see people trying to make scents that complimented their natural one, maybe it could even be a courting ritual for an Alpha to give an Omega they are interested in a perfume they've made that compliments their smell and has notes of their own... Oh! Or working in notes of their scent to their own perfume to indicate interest!

a-twistedheartslonging mentioned in their tags on that post about Jade's scent that Morays use scents to attract a mate, so if you take that idea about perfume being a courting step I could see Jade just being so distraught that his beloved pearl has no discernible scent. And what's worse they keep changing what little scent they do have! What's he supposed to do with that huh? I think he'd be the only one excited by Yuu making their own perfume because it gives him an excuse to talk about the scents that Yuu likes and what perfumes are like in their world. Maybe they could make a perfume together next time (⚈_⚈)? Oh haha he's just thinking out loud he knows you aren't close enough for that ye- Oh you... you would like that? You think he smells nice and you want to know what sort of perfume or cologne he uses?

(he'd get so delulu so fast if you said that. sure Yuu you can smell just like him c: just let him dim the lights a bit first he hears that's important c: just remember to be gentle with him ok???)

[raffe156]

Escape to the country part 1

Pairing - Price X MC (Tank) F!reader

Summary - Road trip with Price back down to his house for a weekend in the country? Yes please haha oh an Kyle is there too. 

A/N -So happy people loved the First part of this storyline like I said was nervous to post it, but so happy with the response! As promised here’s the Road trip and weekend away mentioned in “You broken?” had to write it haha had to be done. It’s turned into a beast so will be in parts 💖

We know Price has a nice house, we just know. Little mood board to help give you the visual. As always feedback encouraged and comments welcomed! Let me know if you want to be tagged in the next part!

Escape part 2

Warnings for the whole storyline - 18+, Angst, Language, Alcohol, smoking, mentions of PTSD, mutual pining, fluff, Age gap Relationship feelings, Price (39) reader (Tank, 25) mentions of family, pregnancy, domestic fluff

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Call of duty characters Only Tank

Later chapters- smut,🥵 Masturbation (M+F), fingering, slight possessiveness,

Tags: @irnbru32​ @shuttlelauncher81​​ @mildlyhopeless

Price was parked up outside the address you had given him, he took a quick look in his rearview mirror he looked tired, but he had been up since 4:30. The drive had only taken 2 and a half hours and the roads were quiet for a Friday morning. He sent you a quick text

“Outside“

He looked up at the house, a large detached Edwardian house he was impressed it was a nice street. He turned the radio up to hear the news while he waited for you.

*****

Was he early? He could have sworn you said you would be ready for 9 am outside with your weekend bag it was getting close to 10 now. Should he knock on and let you know, he was here? He couldn't exactly beep his horn it was early…had he come to the right address? He quickly scrolled through his phone looking at your message, he was at the correct address. Maybe you had slept in late…were still trying to get ready and pack, he was always on at you for being the last to pack your stuff up when you were moving location or maybe…he didn't even want to think it but maybe you had changed your mind and got a better offer to do something else and didn't know how to tell him? Why was his mind racing? He was a practical man. Why did you get him so worked up? Noticing the blinds twitch in the front room he switch the engine off and stepped out of the car, it was a cold morning the sun just peaking out, you never did like getting up when it was cold he thought. He made his way up the steps and onto your path.

“Will you please come away from the bloody window mum!” - You were still shoving things into your luggage. You had checked the weather app a million times already and still didn’t think you had enough layers packed. How had a muppet like you passed selection you thought?

“Oh, he's getting out of the car love.”

“Shit…Right if I’ve forgotten something ill have to make do” - You shoved your jacket on your shoulder still sore and stiff not quite right yet. Checking your face in the hallway mirror you looked tired, but Price had seen you worse. A knock at the door, you couldn't help the smirk on your face. He will be fuming, you thought, “always the last to pack.” You opened the door fully expecting a telling off but no there he was Your Captain stood in your porch with that eye-crinkling smile that you couldn't help but return. He was wearing his usual north face coat, blue jeans and his Solomon’s, his blending in clothes you called them, but you noticed he was wearing the black beanie you had mended for him while stationed at the base.

You could tell because the stitch was green. You had used up all the black trying to stitch yourself up after being shot in Colombia, you had tried to hide it from him but he had found you at 3am unable to keep your skin together and stitch at the same time. Had he worn it on purpose? No, he probably just grabbed it going out the door.

“Sorry I'm late, was still pac…”

“Packing…I knew it would be that, don’t worry about it…” though he wasn't one to pry Price wondered what the inside of your home looked like, what creature comforts you held, and the term organized chaos came to mind.

“You live here alone kid?” He had heard you talk about your parents maybe a sister and definitely a Family dog but he didn't know if they were close by.

“No haha her live on her own? She couldn't cope never liked her own company this one!” - Your Mother prized the door open behind you.

“Thanks, mum, don't think the captain needs to know that”

“Ohhh Captain heard so much about you? What’s your full name love? Your off duty now!”

“John Price Ma’am” - there was that smile again, you raised your eyebrows at him was he putting the charm on to your mum? Before she could start you started pulling the door to on her.

“Right best be off, I’ll see you when I'm back!”

“Oh ok love, don't do anything I wouldn’t do! Nice to put a face to a name John!” You could kill her you thought.

“Likewise, here hand me your bag” Price reached down pushing your hand out from the strap.

“Where was this when you had me carrying that 30kg Bergen across the base?”

“As your mother said off duty now aren’t we? Those rules don't apply…” He smiled at you lifting the bag up and over his shoulder., the slight wince on his face didn't go unnoticed by you but you were more focused on the thought of no rules apply.

Price started back towards the car.

“So you talk about me to your mum?” Price couldn't help the grin and couldn't help but notice you fluster at the insinuation.

“Yes…Cap, I talk about you with my mum haha”

“Hmm what do you say about me? Oh, No titles this weekend just John will do” John. His name rang around your head. What was wrong with you?

“That your snoring is the reason I look so tired…and your cigars are why all my clothes smell like smoke”

Price stopped at the boot turning to you, his snoring?

“What about your sleep talking?”

“…Fair enough”

You thought back to those nights you had been woken gently by him reassuring you no one else was in the room, no one was trying to get you, no one was at the door trying to get in and the gunshots were just in your head. You would go back to sleep knowing he was there protecting you from the terrors that sleep brought.

Price opened the passenger door for you, with a smirk always the gentleman. You hopped in admiring the interior, the smell of fresh air mixed with cigar smoke and leather filled your lungs, you breathed it in smiling.

“Right you ready to go kid?”

You nodded, giving him your best smile.

Price felt his heart flutter slightly at seeing you there next to him outside of work outside of a mission, no rank, No Captain, no sergeant just you and him, civilians. You buckled your seat belt, Price jiggled the buckle.

“Just checking you're strapped in…don’t want you falling out” his smirk spread from ear to ear. He was making a joke. You grinned.

“Do you think your funny?”

“Yes, I do.”

*******

You were halfway there, so far you had spoken about the weather, music and were now on the topic of the physiotherapy you both were having, Price had missed 3 sessions insisting it wasn’t the first time he’d been shot and wouldn’t be the last! This caused the discussion to turn into a slight argument.

“You need to go to them…if I didn’t go to them you would have my head!”

“Well, that’s different.”

“Why is it different, John?” He liked the way his name sounded coming out of your mouth.

“It just is…anyway you said you were going to pack snacks for this road trip?”

You opened your mouth to object to his end of, but thought better of it.

“Yeh, in my bag…did you put it on the back seat?” You twisted up in your seat trying to fit yourself between the gap of the front seats.

“For Christ's sake, what are you doing?” Price looked over at you, only to see your backside wriggling as you reached down behind his seat. Eyes on the road John he told himself.

“My damn shoulder…can’t reach snacks…oh wait I know what to do!” You swung back into your seat reaching down for the lever to recline the seat.

“Hang on a minute kid….”

Too late you were now flat already rolling over onto your front to reach the bag.

“Got it! Haha,” You looked up at him as you lay flat on your back thrusting the small shopping bag up into the air causing a bar of Bournville to fall out onto Price’s lap. He briefly looked down.

“Is that Bournville…rum raisin?”

“Yes…it's your favorite isn’t it?”

“Yeh…it is how did you know that?” Price couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Kyle told me…thought he was joking at first, clearly he wasn't” You felt smug with yourself but wished you had got him the bigger bar now seeing his face.

“He wasn't joking, it is my favorite, thanks kid.”

“Want me to open it for you?” You were already reaching into his lap for it, your hand grazing his jeans, pulling it open with your teeth, Price had to remind himself to keep his eyes on the road again.

“Here…” You had broken a piece off for him offering it up, still lying flat. Before he even thought to use his hand to take it from you, he leaned down mouth open for you to pop it in giving you a quick glance before his eyes had to be back on the road. You popped it in his mouth your fingers grazing his lips as they closed around the small square. His mustache tickling your fingers. The action caused your face to flush slightly. What was wrong with you? You put the bar in the center console next to his flask.

“Thanks…You gonna sit up or you down there for the rest of the journey?” Price said with his mouth full.

“Might stay down here…quite comfy” You rummaged through the bag looking for something to eat, but your mind was now elsewhere. You could see Price in your peripheral stealing quick glances at you, noticing the little smile on his face. You needed to get a grip.

********

You finally sat back up when Price said you were a few minutes away from his house. The village was lovely, quaint your head was practically on a swivel looking around not wanting to miss a thing. Price felt a sense of pride at your appreciation for his little town.

“You’ll have plenty of time to visit every shop and bar kid, haha, I'll make sure of it” he was chuckling at you.

“Good”

Price pulled down a country lane, huge oak trees created a canopy overhead, you craned your neck looking out the windscreen then out of nowhere two houses appeared nestled amongst the trees.

“Home sweet home”

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting it to look like this. I’m Impressed haha.”

You really were you noticed the huge ground-to-roof window as you pulled up it was amazing.

“Right Kyle said he would get a taxi here, so he shouldn’t be long.”

Price got out of the car going in the back for your bag. You followed him to the front door, the gravel drive crunching under your boots. Price held the door open for you ushering you in first. You walked in sheepishly, this was his home the place he retired to between mission, his sanctuary an he was allowing you entry. Price was a stoic man he never really gave anything away about his personal life, but every now and then he would let slip a small token or insight into his outside life. His life outside of being your Captain and every time he did you were grateful as it made you feel as though you knew him that little bit more.

Only recently had you seen a different side to him when you and Kyle had fallen out the hit helo and then when you had been shot he had stayed with you till you were ready to be discharged from the med bay. An even then he had watched you like a hawk any sign of discomfort he had leaped into action asking where it hurt you told yourself it was out of guilt for taking a bullet for him, but if you were being honest you knew he would of done the same for you…or Kyle, you thought.

“This is lovely John.”

“Thanks, I do what I can to it when I get the chance ha” He placed your bag at the bottom of the staircase. He removed his hat an coat and gestured for yours.

“Kitchen through there, Snug next to that and I'll take you upstairs an show you the bedroom…” His face flushed immediately. You cocked your eyebrow at him.

“I mean my room…your room!”

“Haha I know what you meant, calm down! I want the best room, do I have to remind you I did take a bullet for you so I expect the level of service I deserve.”

“Oh do you now? I’m sure we can work something out for you miss, You are in our I’ve taken a bullet for you club” You both laughed.

“Want a drink, I got that cold brew stuff you like? The one that makes you and Kyle Hyperactive” You followed Price through the double doors into the large country kitchen.

“Oh please, that would be nice. I’m Knackered.”

“You slept on the way here..”

“For like 30 minutes!”

Price shook his head smiling, He flipped the kettle on for his own tea, steaming hot, dash of milk, 3 sugars you recited it in your head smiling. Reaching into the double fridge, he pulled out the pre-made cold brew you and Kyle drank when you could get it. You held your hand out for the carton. Price raised his eyebrow at you.

“Erm no I don’t think so…you can drink it out of a glass like an adult, also you need to share it with Kyle only have two more cartons and the way you two drink this stuff I don’t think it will last till morning…ice?”

“Please…” You sighed, you caught a glimpse of the snug, making out the huge stone fireplace. Sitting yourself down at the table you noticed it had seats for 7 you could also feel the heat from the double aga oven behind him.

“You entertain a lot? 7 seater table and the big aga behind you? I know you can cook eggs but can’t imagine you cracking out the charcuterie boards?” Price handed you your drink, he leant forward on the table.

“I don’t, I’m afraid kid…you and Kyle are the first real guests I've had since getting the place liveable.”

“What really? This place is huge, perfect for a family I could just imagine the kids playing in the garden, chasing them around the island because they haven’t washed their hands or all sitting at the table for breakfast a high chair would fit nicely at the end……” You realised you had said too much. Price had his eyebrows raised looking at you.

“You offering Tank?”

“Hahaha no…I'm just saying…don’t like the thought of you all alone up here.”

Price felt that little flutter again when the thoughts flashed across his mind. He looked around the kitchen. A loud Saturday morning just as you had described chasing little legs and sleepy heads, soft giggles and porridge on the floor, chaos but the best kind. He liked the thought. He was pulled from his brief daydream by the sound of the kettle brewing, he turned to pour the water into his mug.

“Well, I haven’t been totally alone…remember that Doc from Ireland? She’s been up to see the house it wasn't finished not even watertight but she came for a visit, do you know who I mean?”

“…Yeah, I know who you mean….”

You couldn't help your tone, you had no right but you could feel the green stain of jealousy creeping up into your head.

You remembered her very well fur coat no knickers Kyle had said. She had near smothered Price when you 3 had come back to the base checking him over for injuries but wholly ignored you and Kyle, Kyle was limping from jumping off a shipping container (to be fair it was your fault you said he wouldn’t make it) you had a gash on your forearm from taking cover in the gravel, but no she was tending to Price and his paper cut he had got from a case file he had been waving about in your face that morning - something about not following protocol.

Either way, she rubbed you the wrong way, but the thought of her up here alone with him got you and it wasn't the kind of company you had meant…but what company did you mean…you? Stop. Price noticed your angry little face, he knew you didn't like the Doctor you had made it very clear back in Ireland.

“Anyway, she's not my type. Talked too much….”

“I talk too much…” - the words were out before you could claw them back in. Stop it.

“Yeah well, that's different I…I like when you talk too much..” He meant it, he would take your over chatting and loud days over the silent ones when you put up a wall, a wall he could only peer over to offer a hand to pull you over it. You gave him a soft smile.

‘Right want to come pick your room? Kyle will be here soon.” You nodded, taking a quick sip of your drink.

“Lead the way Captain” you gestured your arm out for him to lead.

“I said no titles….”

“I know I'm winding you up..”

Price shook his head, leading you back into the hall, picking up your luggage and up the huge oak stairs.

“First guest bedroom on the right, then further down second and third guest rooms then mine right at the back next to the main bathroom. I was thinking you could stay in the guest room next to mine as that has an en-suite and the best views of the field behind.”

You looked up at him blankly.

“Let me see all the rooms and I'll decide which one haha!” You scurried past him, glancing in the doorway of the first room.

“Lovely but nope…next one”

Price chuckled as you made your way down to the other two guest rooms, the one he mentioned had the door open and as soon as you looked in the view hit you in the face it was stunning green fields and a lake, this was the kind of view you didn't get living in the city.

“I'll take this one, please!” You turned to face him, not realising he was right behind his face smug.

“What? What's that look about?”

“No, nothing I just knew you’d like this one….” He slid past you popping your luggage on the dresser and sitting himself down on the edge of the big king-size bed.

“I'll show you how to work the shower later, it’s a bit fiddly new pipes and all that lot either scald yourself or freeze, but If you need anything in the night, I’m just next door, anything at all you know me I’m a light sleeper” he laughed.

You both knew he wasn’t.

“Hahaha light sleeper? I’ve slept next to you a few times John, your not a light sleeper!” You stepped into the room and stood next to him at the bottom of the bed looking around then back at him, giving him a smile you placed your hand on his broad shoulder, the heat as always radiating off him.

“I think I'll be fine, but I know where to find you if I have a bad dream haha”

He looked at you, both eye level due to the height of the bed, giving you that eye-crinkling smile that you couldn’t help but return. Your hand still on his shoulder.

“Well, I’ve got plenty of room in my bed if you do…”

The image must of flashed through both of your minds at the same time as you both had gone slightly pink. Price opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Kyle. You didn't know whether to slap him or thank him, but either way, it wasn't just the two of you anymore, maybe that was for the best?

You removed your hand and stepped back towards the dresser. Price was still sitting on the bed, you clocked him looking at your back in the mirror his face still flushed. Had he overstepped the line? What was the line even for? Why was there even a line to begin with? The doorbell went again.

“Better go let Kyle in, eh?” He got up and walked to the door. He hesitated for a moment.

“Thanks, John, I’ll be down in a sec,” you said, giving him your best smile. He returned it with his.

“No problem kid” he looked relieved. The doorbell went again and was followed by a heavy knock.

“Why is he so impatient? If he’s marked my door he will be sleeping in the shed” Price grumbled as he closed your door to.

You tidied up your hair in the mirror giving it a brush through, all of a sudden you felt giddy your stomach feeling light, surely he hadn’t meant it like that…had he? What if he had? Either way, this weekend was going to be entertaining to say the least.

[emberglowfox]

okay a few people have asked now abt steelheart redux so i will do my best to give an overview the maelstrom of vague thoughts it consists of at the moment

basically, steelheart is the oc story i've been posting a shitton of on and off for the past while. steelheart redux refers specifically to its latest iteration, which is completely (mostly) sci-fi and mech driven as opposed to the standard dragon rider story it was before.

it focuses primarily on these guys!

arthur is a human, while zarian is a DRACO, specifically a v1, which i will elaborate on below the readmore bc this is a little long haha

the setup for the story is essentially this:

the DRACOs (version 1, aka v1s) are big draconic mechs that are basically the equivalent of a super high-tech fighter jet with some other bells and whistles, the most notable being that they're pretty much human powered. but to be efficiently powered long-term, they have to be (or have part of them, really) permanently fused to a human host (or any living creature, technically, but humans are what they're like. made for).

despite all that, stuff surrounding their creation goes pretty well for a while, until the v1s mysteriously 'wake up'-- as in, suddenly attain self-aware consciousness, and start talking to their hosts (known as pilots) who understandably take this pretty badly. it's like if the fighter jet you've been flying around and are also kind of biologically fused to suddenly grew a brain and started asking about your day. things get even worse when the company producing the v1s attempts to like. undo this by forcing out an update patch, which has the unintended effect of corrupting the (previously entirely benevolent, just curious) v1s and turning them into crazed murder machines. stuff is bad for a while.

the ACTUAL story takes place 15 years after this, when stuff still isn't amazing but has mostly evened out. the company responsible for the v1s collapsed in the initial chaos, but from its ashes came a new company, Defenex, which has been producing DRACO v2s. they're the sleeker, badder cousins to the v1, made for the sole purpose of protecting towns from and hunting down remaining v1s. they're also, very critically, Not Mysteriously Self-Aware like the v1s are (or. were?) which is good.

the plot follows arthur steele, a fifteen year old boy living in one of the surviving cities, who through a series of accidents comes to be permanently fused to a (mysteriously un-murderous but distinctly unhappy) v1 calling himself Zarian. at first, his goal is to get Zarian removed from his back so they can go their separate ways and he can go back to his unremarkable, relatively safe life. unfortunately, this does not go according to plan. at all. but in the process, they start learning more about the mysterious origins of the DRACO incident and asking questions some people REALLY don't want answered. along the way, they make a few friends, come to actually like each other, and accidentally develop a reputation as Public Enemy #1, Definitely Evil, Kill On Sight. oops.

and that's the gist! i know... a lot of what happens, within that window, but most stuff isn't like nailed down clearly or in order yet, because i've discovered that while i am good with coming up with originally story ideas, actually plotting one from start to finish, coherently and satisfactorily, does NOT come naturally to me at all.

but, at the very least, it has become a fun brain playground and happiness generator, because i am veeery attached to these guys. moreso than i ever have gotten about my own ocs in my whole life tbh

:)

[literaticat]

As an agent, how do you recommend authors handle review spaces? Most writers are also readers, but I understand it's probably looked down upon to go around giving 2-3 star reviews to who are essentially your colleagues. I enjoy having the data to look back on of my reads, but as I plan to be published in the future, I'm wondering if I need to make this private and find a private system.

A bit more broadly than your ask: In my personal opinion, writers may be readers, but reviewing spaces such as GoodReads, etc, are not for them. I would strongly suggest that for mental health purposes, authors not only NOT EVER go on GoodReads, but also block it from their computer like it is a naughty website. NSFW BABE. Don't look up your own reviews, don't look up your friend's reviews, for the LOVE OF GOD don't RESPOND to any reviews of your books or your friend's books you happen to see, and unless you have something glowing to say about a book that will uplift the author, for Pete's sake keep it to yourself. If you have potentially snarky things to say about a book or author, journal about it. Text it to the group chat. But don't post it.

As for your more specific ask: I totally understand wanting to keep book-reading data -- I do! I use the Reading List app, which is private. StoryGraph I just got but it feels like a nice interface, I'll be playing around with it, and I'd happily add books I'm reading, my TBR, etc -- but I would either keep my account private to whatever extent is possible, or I just wouldn't rate the books on that. Other people use cool personal spreadsheets, or cool notebooks. This is MY data -- I'm not keeping it to impress or inform anyone else, so why would it need to be public?

When I find books that I particularly adore, I'm delighted to post about them on socials, but I don't need or want to talk smack about books publicly, that would be totally inappropriate coming from me, and since I know and work with SO MANY editors, other agents, authors, etc -- There's pretty much NO WAY I could get away with that without inadvertently insulting somebody. And while you may be "aspiring" now -- the longer you stay in publishing spaces, the more people YOU will know and meet, too.

TRUE STORY from just this week: I was at a Little Free Library and found an old Sweet Valley High book - BEWARE THE WOLFMAN, #106. It has a hilarious jacket and cover copy, I had no idea that the Wakefield twins went through a paranormal "American Werewolf In London" era, I was obviously obsessed and posted about it on Facebook, with a pic of the front and back of the jacket. Now, this is a book that is WELL out of print, it was published when I was in high school thirty years ago, it was a friends only post and I'm not friends with the author, like, literally who would I be insulting if I made fun of this book? Oh -- well potentially my friend Dan, who chimed in immediately to say that he in fact wrote the funny jacket copy. My friend Elise, who is an agent now, but was Dan's boss in 1994 and in charge of these books. OH ALSO, I am friends with the publisher. Ahahahah OK! Yay! Luckily it truly is a bonkers book and they know that so it was all in good fun and haha teehee, but like -- it could have been WAY worse!

ANYwhoo, you asked what I think, that's what I think. This is just how I approach it. "As an agent" I would never tell my authors what they can or can't do with their lives - but this is MY philosophy: we're all here to SELL books, not bash them, so if you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself, because believe me when I say, it's extremely upsetting for all parties when you give a book a shitty review and then are seated next to the author at a publisher dinner later. TRUST ME, I KNOW.

[schoolunchtray]

Something radioactive has come over me and i need to ramble on about ii writing. spoilers ahead for the recent episode leaks btw

Something that has always been a little strange about inanimate insanity’s more emotionally driven conflicts and scenes is that they often build on some sort of implied “statement” that falls flat, usually because its a very strange “statement” to stand by, but the conceit of the conflict/scene relies entirely on the audience already understanding and agreeing with the “statement”; this is tricky to word so my example will be a small detail in the scene between balloon.oj (and later balloon.suitcase) from s2. 

It isn’t bad enough here that you don’t understand where the scene is aiming, but if you take it as is and don’t read into the writer’s intent, it is strange that a written or planned apology is considered faux (it would make sense if the apology was manufactured to be what oj wanted to hear or something, but iirc the only thing mentioned in the ep itself was just that it was written). Its just a little “statement” that makes a scene intended to be emotionally investing into something a smidge confusing. (I would’ve used the scene between knife.suitcase later on as my example but i’m not even sure what the intent was there haha but you understand my angle here)

This has actually not been more prevalent than through how the show intends to present cabby in s3, where i suppose the “statement” is that a person can never be accurately described through written observation, or a list of traits. (what is with this show and thinking if its written its lesser? anyway.) The obvious issue with this statement is that its just kind of incorrect, or at least that its incomplete, and the way its shown in the narrative is baffling and leads to a very weird reception of cabby. The audience is meant to think that, despite what “motives” she might have, what cabby does is unjustifiable in the end (which is a conclusion that depends solely on the audience agreeing with the “statement”). It is VERY much of note that her “motives” being that her files are a disability aid pulls this situation from wobbly writing to actively harmful, and it makes it that much worse that we are supposed to think this isn’t justification for her doing something that, even without this purpose, really isn’t all that damning on its own.

What got me started on this was something from some of the recent ep leaks, and i’ll go on about that here i suppose. There is a dialogue exchange between bot and cabby that truly stumped me in terms of how far it went to twist cabby’s words to make her look insensitive or unaware, and them using a fan favorite to do so doesn’t help. Essentially, after very weirdly calling bot a “perfect replica” of bow, cabby says something to the effect of “These notes i took on you, thinking i was researching bow, are not applicable because you are not bow. I would like it if you told me about yourself so i can correct my previous view of you”, to which bot says in an aside, “As usual, she doesn’t want the person i am, she just wants facts”. It was so strange to me that the writing is so hellbent on vilifying cabby’s files that it needed bot to skip over the part where their identity was invalidated so that they could take issue with a line of dialogue from cabby that actually recognizes them for who they are and not who they were forced to be previously. This “statement” is a weird hill to die on despite the amount of ableism that comes from it, is basically my thesis.

[turtlecleric]

assumption - others have said in need of a hug (yes true) but also,

may not have been praised in the way that you deserved growing up and instead others tried to dim your light because they were envious or wanted to see you fail (->im here to tell you they suck ass. you're everything and more; skilled; determined; worthy; and i love you so so much and i am so so proud of you)

Did you know that I would die for you? Did you know that I love you so goddamn much? Did you?

This is way too much personal info that no one actually cares to know, probably, but. I'm sort of avoiding work on purpose at the moment and I'm having a really rough day. Who needs therapy when you have asks on Tumblr to rant in? (I'm joking, to be clear. Actual therapy is so valuable and important if you manage to find a competent professional who clicks well with you. The only reason I stopped going is because of Covid, time, and money.)

Warning: VERY long vent ahead, please do not feel obligated to read or respond

My dad was really good about praising me in ways that felt genuine, actually, though that made the times he /was/ upset with me all that much worse. My dad isn't perfect, and he's done some things and said some things that I'll never forgive, that I'll never be able to forget, but I would also do anything for him. I know he's there for me when I need it, I know he'll answer when I call, I know that he actually cares about me. He and maybe like two cousins are the only family I would never be able to cut off.

My mom... I guess it was just sort of the baseline bare minimum expectation that I would do things well, so when I /was/ praised it was just like... oh, good job sweetie! Proud of you! But it didn't feel... I don't know how to describe why but... I don't know. Now, when people tell me I do things well I always have that voice in my head that's like "they're just being nice, they don't actually think it's all that great, they expected you to do a much better job than this, actually, why did you even bother sharing? Why did you think this was something to be proud of?" I read way too far into things, interpreting neutral reactions, or even positive reactions that aren't as enthusiastic as I might have hoped for, as proof that people are simply being nice and don't really like what I do or make or say all that much. I always get stuck in this mindset that I'm not allowed to create mediocre content, like it all has to be Excellent or else it's Terrible.

I also remember in high school, posting some drawings on Facebook that I was really proud of. Two drawings, one with hands in chains and cut up and the other with healed hands glowing with holy light and cradling a cross. It was supposed to show the difference between life without God and life with God (I was... VERY religious as a teenager. I am now agnostic.), but she saw the first picture and freaked out, super pissed, yelling at me to take it down, to not embarrass her like that, because people were going to see that and think I was abused or depressed or something (haha... me? Depressed? Nahhhhh). And that was the moment when I knew I could never ever ever share anything even remotely dark with her, that if I ever were to express something that indicated I was anything other than good and happy and perfect then she would react similarly. She's also very judgemental regarding mental health, often made comments about how "people who are/do x are sick, there's just something wrong with them, make sure you stay away from people like that" while I'm sitting on the couch like... oof. That's me. So all my venting went to Tumblr where she couldn't see, and even now I mostly only vent on Tumblr and through writing. I have many wonderful friends that would gladly allow me to vent to them (I love you all so much I love you I love you I love you, thank you for being so kind), but I simply Cannot. I've had a friend before where it felt like all they did was complain, they were always so goddamn negative, and it became a chore to talk to them. I started to get angry every time they said or did something defeatist, I stopped enjoying talking or hanging out with them, and I refuse to be that person. Even if I'm told over and over that I don't come across that way, I'm so terrified of it that when I think about reaching out I start to think of that friend and about how I shouldn't bother people and I panic. Unless I've gotten to the point where I truly believe that nothing I do or say will ruin the friendship, then it's really hard to push through that fear. But that's so much harder than it used to be because I /did/ lose a friend that I thought I would have literally for the rest of my life, I was so 100% confident that we would be 80 years old still hanging out with each other and goofing around, so sure we could go through anything together and stay friends, I knew in my heart and soul that we would be friends until we died, and I was wrong. I was wrong. I also had a different friend who was always there for me, always praised me, always listened to me when I needed it and told me kind things and made sure I felt welcome and loved and viewed positively, and then he fucking assaulted me one night when he thought I was asleep.

Anyway. When I /did/ fail at things growing up, it was either punished more severely than necessary or straight up laughed at. Mom was very hot and cold, too, you could never tell what kind of mood she was going to be in that day. (She is still like this. It's well known in my family that you never know which version of her you're going to get.) Things are fine one moment and then suddenly I'm in trouble for something I didn't even realize I did wrong (like with the drawings), so I'm just. Terrified of not doing well enough at things, of disappointing people, of people being annoyed with me or upset with me over something I didn't even realize was rude or mean or wrong to begin with.

"Don't overstay your welcome; don't bother people" was pounded into my head. I can't express how often I start to say or type something and then think, "No one cares. Stop bothering people. You're being too much, you're being annoying, they're tired of you, just keep it to yourself." I'm working on it but. Yeah. Half the time I still just stop talking or backspace and stay quiet. Even typing this, I'm like... you should delete this. You're basically just begging for attention, and if anyone says anything about this to you then it'll only be because they felt obligated to and they're going to start seeing you as a whiny, pathetic, manipulative person, and they're going to get tired of you and roll their eyes every time you say anything, even if it's not you venting, or they'll see this and think about how stupid or weird it is for you to put this information out on the internet, and even this sentence right here is proof that they'd be right because you're aware of all these thoughts and you're still doing it.

But then another part of me thinks that if I can't even vent on my own blog on a post that literally no one is required to read that is also hidden under a readmore and clearly states that it's a vent post, then where /can/ I vent? And if someone else posted this, would I be this harsh on them? And what's so wrong with seeking attention and comfort? Why is that unforgivable in yourself but admirable in others? Why are you crying at work? Why aren't you doing your job? Why aren't you better? Why aren't you better?

[aurelian-university]

Sneak Peek #2 (sort of): Incorrect Quotes Tag Game

I've been meaning to do this for my AU OCs for a while now... thought it would be a fun way to introduce you to these characters and give you a feel for what they're going to be like in the story before you meet them properly.

Hope you all like this! And I also hope it gets you excited for the actual story (which is coming soon, I promise lol. I've just been super busy lately... and to be honest... Steph's Crew has been more of a priority lately writing-wise. I'm trying to give the story a satisfying conclusion, but it's so hard when you've purposely made everyone's arcs so unnecessarily complicated haha).

I'm also making this a tag game (I'll tag people at the end like I normally do).

Here's the link to the incorrect name generator:

And without further ado, let's get started!

*Zephyr drunkenly wanders around the house and Isadora is drunkenly giggling* Caius, completely sober: *sighs* Well, it looks like it's just me and you against the world, June. Juniper, going to her room: Nope, just you. *shuts door*

___

Adara: Life could be worse, Avalon. Avalon: Life could be a lot better too!

___

Isadora: It's locked. You got a lock pick? Zephyr: Yeah- Cassius: *kicks in the door*

___

Zephyr: I’m in love with you. Eurydice: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork. Zephyr: I know. Eurydice: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

___

Isadora: You’re alive. Marcelline: No need to sound so disappointed.

___

Zephyr: We have fun, don’t we, Cai? Caius: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

___

*The squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered* Cassius: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone whose life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer? Zephyr: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine. Juniper: What about Eurydice? Nobody ever suspects Eurydice! Eurydice: Well what about Zephyr? He has a gun! Caius: Cassius has a knife. Cassius: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Juniper in the arm*

___

Eurydice: Caius gets offended by everything. Caius: What did you say about me?!? Eurydice: Eurydice: Case in point.

___

Avalon: Adara, what if there are monsters? Adara: Don’t worry, we’re top of the food chain. Much later… Avalon, lying awake at night: I am the monster.

___

Zephyr: You’re overthinking this. Caius: You don’t know the appropriate level of thinking, Zephyr. What if I’m underthinking?

___

Adara: Why would you do that? Avalon: Because I feel guilty. Isadora: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

___

Marcelline, holding a box of Lunchables: Ah, I loved these when I was younger… fine dining. Isadora: Fix yourself.

___

Xander: You know, Ava, you are the sun in my life. Avalon: Why? 'Cause I'm smoking hot? Xander: Because it hurts my eyes looking at you.

___

Adara: I’ve organised messages from my BFF into three categories. Adara: “From Isadora.” Adara: “Death Threats.” Adara: and “Death Threats From Isadora.”

___

Marcelline: What if the person who named Walkie-Talkies named everything? Zephyr: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies. Eurydice: Socks are Feetie Heaties. Caius: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties. Xander: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies. Juniper: Stamps are Lickie Stickies. Cassius: I hate you guys so much.

___

Xander: A decision had to be made. Caius: And you f*cked it up!

___

Juniper: Hey, Xander you're smart, tell me what would happen if I chugged 3 gallons of chloroform. Xander: Have you ever been to a mortuary? Juniper: Yeah, my grandma lives there. Caius: That is the worst response to that question.

___

Caius, to Zephyr: I mean, I get complimented all the time- Avalon: *starts cackling* Caius: I do! Avalon: *laughs harder*

___

Marcelline: What happened?! Isadora: Do you want the long version or the short version? Marcelline: Sh-short?? Isadora: Sht*'s f*cked. Marcelline: Okay, long. Isadora: Sh*t's very f*cked.

___

Juniper: Who hurt you? Eurydice: *snorting* What, do you want a list? Juniper: …Yes, actually.

Done!

Tagging these guys:

@exquisitecrow, @thelavenderwriter, @gummybugg, @waywardwizzard, @the-stray-storyteller, @sam-glade, @sarahlizziewrites, @mjparkerwriting, @maiwritesbooks, @janec23, @mysticstarlightduck, @winterandwords, @hallwriteblr, @leisoree, @writinglittlebeasts, @stanrendipity, @magpie24601, @eli-writes-sometimes, @ashwithapen, and @fire-but-ashes-too. As well as anybody else that's interested!

[themonopolyhat]

shoulder the sky au: helix whump

[ETA: this one-shot has become a round robin fic via the reblogs, but mind the tags folks!]

i have been dared by @shootingstarpilot to contribute to the helix whump “what-if” for his fantastic shoulder the sky series on ao3, so here we go.

pilot, you and i had the exact same idea on how to make helix’s life even worse than it already is -- namely, we both envisioned him on iwanaga along with obi-wan during dooku’s science project / torture spree.  this brainshare is hilarious all by itself.

(i should probably CONTENT WARN for torture, misery, and major character death right now haha)

my thoughts:

+ not sure whether dooku grabs helix on purpose or if it’s an accidental acquisition -- but since helix is along for the ride, and dooku is a bastard, dooku decides to make use of him.

+ therefore it is helix’s job to monitor vitals, update certain chart fields, and administer the antibiotics and pain meds while dooku’s minions or droids or whatever perform the experiments.

+ also because dooku is a bastard, helix has been outfitted with an explosive slave tracker right inside his skull. no escaping or even going where you’re not supposed to be on the base, pumpkin

+ so helix is in the fucking room with obi-wan when dooku questions him, and when dooku threatens him, and when the experiments begin. dooku threatens helix, too -- like shut up and do what you’re told or something real bad will happen.  obi-wan all but orders helix to comply because of course he doesn’t want anyone else to suffer on his behalf.  so helix shuts up and complies.

+ obi-wan is as quiet as he can be, quiet and straining at the restraints. it’s just another tuesday for helix, watching somebody he cares about fucking suffer while he’s unable to save them

+ helix loses his cool probably around the time that dooku proposes to drain obi-wan’s blood completely? or some other horrible thing, idk.  anyway helix responds as any horrified medic with his temperament might, and dooku has him knocked the fuck out.

+ helix wakes up in time to hear obi-wan screaming, and he gets to listen to the screams for a while before dooku wanders in like “oh yeah, if you’re not around to monitor obi-wan’s pain meds, i’m certainly not going to pick up the slack -- he’ll just suffer through the knives au naturel lol”

+ so helix goes back to work.  he gets obi-wan’s pain back under control, but of course he can’t do anything about the other sensations, or the sounds, or the smells, or the existential horror of being vivisected alive by your grandmaster who gave you tea

+ helix holds his hand, strokes his hair, tells him again and again: “look at me, look at me, don’t look down, obi-wan, you look at me”

+ they both quickly give up on apologizing for their mutual wracking sobs because they’re in this together, sweetheart

+ one night helix asks obi-wan how he can pray to the force and obi-wan (ever the teacher) haltingly talks about other force religions, the difference between praying and chanting for mindfulness, etc etc etc.  he quotes the guardians’ mantra: “i am one with the force, and the force is with me -- and i fear nothing, for all is as the force wills it.”  obi-wan seems to find it a little comforting (or maybe dissociative) to say it and hear it said, so helix bends over him and murmurs it over and over and over and over and over, even when obi-wan can’t speak the words himself. he can’t save his general but he can do this thing until his throat rips if need be

+ i don’t actually know whether sidious shows up, but if he does, he gives an Order via holo ahead of time and helix Goes Away for a little while. when he comes back to himself, obi-wan is blinded and deafened.

+ no help is coming. they can’t get out. dooku strips the skin from obi-wan’s hand and helix can only keep the meds at max, repeat the guardians’ mantra to his deaf ears, card a hand through his sweaty, grimy hair, hold his elbow, try so hard to be gentle so obi-wan knows it’s him

+ helix has had a particular intrusive thought since like day three, and he’s been shoving it aside because it’s unthinkable, but y’know, the unthinkable is becoming thinkable the longer he stays on as an accessory to the gruesome torture-murder of his general.  helix is a smart guy and figures out how to activate his explosive tracker at the time of his choosing.  useful information, under the right circumstances

+ around the time that dooku mentions breaking obi-wan’s spine for lols, helix decides he’s about had enough

+ no idea how he manages to get obi-wan alone in the lab, without dooku or droids or anybody else around, but:

+ the door is locked, the clock is ticking, they don’t have a lot of time before the window of opportunity will be lost.  helix undoes obi-wan’s restraints and climbs up on the table with him so he can prop him up in his arms and hold him close. he tucks obi-wan’s nose into his neck and rocks him for a few moments, whispering to him even though his general won’t hear, because he thinks obi-wan knows it’s him and he wants him to feel safe and loved

+ “see you soon, general,” he murmurs through his tears, and fuck, has he stopped crying even once in the past three weeks?

+ he activates the tracker

+ he saves his general

[lady-lazagna]

May we know what are your top five hated character in the beyblade and why you despise them?? 🙏

I am known for one thing and it's being a fucking hater😎

When I think about characters that I hate, it's less about them being shit people in the show and more about them making my viewing experience worse. Like, sure, you can help save the world and whatnot, but are you funny? Heartfelt? Cool? Do you have any personality traits outside of the exposition you were made to deliver? Do you bounce off the other characters' energy well? (Basically, were you or were you not introduced in Fury😐 /hj)

So overall, this isn't a list of characters I would beat the shit out of if we met; they're ones that made the show worse for me and thus I hate their very conception with a burning passion.

Interestingly enough, I can't actually think of five characters that I genuinely hate, so I've made a top four instead. Sure, there are more I don't really like, but those ones aren't as hate-inducing as they are just kind of bland. So if you expected certain antagonists to be on here, just know that they were likely too boring to hate.

Without further ado, here's the top four worst characters in mfb (to me):

4. Chris

This is just a nothing character. A nothing man. They could've had an interesting idea with the blader for hire idea, but instead, it was squandered for a basic "everyone left me" backstory. What a bummer, man. Never heard that one before. Tetsuya and King are crying their eyes out fr :/

What really gets me about him, though, is that despite being so nothing, he takes up a spot as a legendary blader, when that could've been ANYONE. This character is the first legendary blader we find after we figure out who we're actually looking for; it could be any Winter constellation blader- and it's just a fucking white guy who's a little bit mean. Noah Fence to Mr. Adachi, but his favourite legendary blader- who in the manga is a blue-blooded American military man- is the man standing emoji??? Great.

3. Ryo Hagane/The Immortal Phoenix (more like penis haha)

Avert your eyes, Sadie, Arti and Deity. L FATHER. L DIRECTOR. L HUMAN. Oh, I almost died in a volcanic cave-in that destroyed my home and sent my son on a quest for revenge? THIS WILL BE A GREAT LEARNING EXPERIENCE FOR HIM :) No Hokuto, don't tell him I'm alive while we're 50 METRES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER, he still has some Beyblade things to learn before he can have his father back. And oh man, he came third in that one tournament?? How did he let this happen??? Let me just dress up like a clown and DESTROY ALL THE PROGRESS HE MADE TOWARDS TRYING TO STOP THE GUYS THAT HE THINKS KILLED ME.

And when the jig is up and he's finally revealed, he's just like "I did what I thought was best😌" and Benkei's like "You should be in jail you sick fuck" and that's honestly a Benkei W. But he doesn't go to jail. In fact... some fucking idiot put him in charge of the WBBA, which means he can now make stupid decisions that fuck over not just his own son, but ALL of the children of Japan! Yay!!!

No Hikaru, we can't let Gan Gan Galaxy or Wild Fang rest despite half the kids being critically injured, that's special treatment! Oh but yes Gingka, I will let the TWO teams that attacked you guys outside of the competitions off the hook so that you can still battle them, I love special treatment! And yes Tsubasa, I think you should spend more time with Gingka and the gang to learn about friendship and become stronger, but NO Tsubasa, you should NOT go with Gingka and the gang to look for legendary bladers when you can just do it completely by yourself! L FATHER. L DIRECTOR. L. HUMAN.

The only reason he's not lower is because he leads to funnies (see above).

2. Yuki Mizusawa

Do you ever feel like your one purpose in life is to tell some guy about his fate, and since you don't have anything left to accomplish on this earth you decide to follow him while he achieves this fate? Oh sure, you might feel a little better after becoming a part of that fate, but really, what do you honestly contribute other than "we need to find the legendary bladers that possess the star fragments so that we can defeat Nemesis!"? Because that is all you fucking say.

To really explain my gripe with this pathetic dork whom I could easily fold up and shove in my dishwasher, here is an excerpt from some notes I was making during my second Fury rewatch:

(The first and last quotes are from Ryo. At least he can be funny while also being a waste of space👀)

Maybe I wouldn't hate him so much if he hadn't replaced Based characters like Kenta (who I know was getting some important development at the time, but still😤), Yu, and even my main man Tsoobs (who as previously mentioned, was unfairly separated from the gang by a fucking idiot loser). But he did. He took up that heartfelt, funny, and cool space to be. a slightly damp sock.

Was there potential for Yuki to be something more if the writers of Fury weren't smoking the psychedelic betel nuts that grow in my neighbour's yard that keep falling into our pool? I don't fucking care. If he had more of a personality other than "Mr. Gingka!" and "my grandfather once said-" then maybe I would.

1. Dynamis

SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UUUUUUUUUP. From the moment this fucker is introduced all he does is spew exposition. And that is entirely it. If I hear ONE MORE FUCKING WORD about "the stars, and what is fated, and the gods, and the will of the heavens, and the will of the stars, and-" THIS TIME I'M REALLY GONNA DO IT.

When my sibling and I first watched through Fury we were simply ASTOUNDED. at how fucking boring this guy is. Seriously, we took a long hiatus from watching after his introductory episodes because they were so mind-numbing (in fact, I think the hiatus might've lasted up until our dog fucking DIED, because I was so upset that I would've rather felt incredibly bored than sad LMAO).

You'd think it would've gotten at least a little more interesting when he gets possessed, but no. He sounds exactly the fucking same or he just doesn't talk at all (I'm pretty sure there was no point in him being possessed at all, but I digress). He gets pulled back to the goodies with the power of friendship or whatever and then BOOM. I GOTTA TELL AGUMA ABOUT THE STARS, AND THE WILL OF THE HEAVENS, AND THE GODS, AND THE FATES AND I'M REALLY GONNA DO IT THIS TIME.

All in all, what I hate in the show is wasting time with exposition, being a nothing person with no character, and teaching lessons that aren't fucking lessons you need to teach. Thanks for the suggestion, anon!

[raccoon-in-ankhmorpork]

[MAJOR GO2 SPOILERS]

I decided, of my own accord, to rewatch episode 6, for the purpose of paying attention to every little detail, every expression, every word. What I can tell you from that experience is that watching it a second time around wasn’t better—it was worse. It broke my heart all over again, I don’t know why I inflicted this pain on myself.

While I’m here, I’ll state my thoughts on the ending: I hate to say it, but I don’t believe in the coffee theory. I’ve tried to convince myself, but… no. What Aziraphale did is, in my opinion, completely in-character: it’s a manifestation of his biggest flaw. However, he never seems convinced that he is making the right decision, always wanting to backtrack but ultimately going along with the Metatron. Is that simply because the Metatron has power over Azira, and is using it to manipulate him into it? Most probably. At any rate, the Metatron is immediately painted as the bad guy (when he enters the bookshop, the music is foreboding and dark), which I thought was interesting. Obviously he is one of the main enacters of the Great Plan, so he couldn’t have been good to begin with, but the Metatron is presented as a different kind of evil than, for instance, Michael and Uriel. THEY are slightly ignorant and generally lacking empathy. HE seems more aware, more willing to use underhanded tactics to manipulate the course of things. God, how I hate him (get it? haha).

Random thing in the middle of this rant, bc there is something so fishy about the Metatron in general: when he describes Aziraphale, stating the qualities for which he wants him to fill Gabriel’s position, he doesn’t truly describe Azira, does he? A leader who is honest and not afraid to say what he thinks, I believe the Metatron said? Those aren’t outwardly wrong things to say, but they also aren’t Azira’s main qualities. They’re more Crowley’s, really, but I don’t know what to do with that inference. Additionally, they aren’t even qualities the Metatron would WANT in the Archangel. He needs someone compliant. I don’t know what to make of any of this, if I’m honest, but it needed to be said.

Anyways. Back to Aziraphale. The moment at which he seems most convinced that Heaven is the right choice is while arguing with Crowley, when he has made it clear he doesn’t want to come with. I think this is an attempt to convince Crowley (and, most of all, himself) that they aren’t breaking up for something unimportant. Azira NEEDS to believe that he’s leaving Crowley for the only thing more important to him: doing good. He NEEDS to believe that going to Heaven can be the way to do an extraordinary quantity of good, because otherwise he broke his own heart and Crowley’s for nothing. And even while trying to convince himself, he still instinctively wants to go back to Crowley; it is the Metatron’s pressure on Azira that causes him not to, I think, more than Azira’s hope that he can fix things.

In short, this is what I see for s3: Azira tries his best to do good, but being the Supreme Archangel doesn’t come with as much agency and power as he thought (which we saw, in part, with Gabriel) I think he could try to lean into his faith in God, but he could just as well constantly try to find ways to go against the Plan. Somehow, I think it’ll lead to a sort of breakdown, because I don’t think Aziraphale CAN fix Heaven. I’m hoping he’ll find his way back to Crowley in a moment of desperation, but I can already see how much that would hurt too. Because Crowley deserves to be angry at Azira. But ultimately love’s gotta win, right? RIGHT, NEIL??? We shall see. (I literally got the prime video free trial just so I could help with the viewer count. We all need to binge our asses off, I am NOT accepting episode 6 as the last episode of Good Omens.)

TL;DR: episode 6 broke my heart (part two: electric boogaloo), no to the coffee theory, the Metatron is fishy AF, and please binge GO2 as much as you can :) I’m confident nobody will read this ever, but oh well.

[anothersojourner]

below the cut is an old note i just came across from ~6 years ago. a lot has changed since then, for better & for worse, but i felt like sharing it with y'all.

for a while i wanted to be a writer or an essayist; to put my way-too-many hours of reading old thinker's notes to good use and maybe help someone else along the way... but it can't do much good if a "finalized" thing is just kicking around in my notebook haha

someday i'll probably format this and write it by hand but for now this is enough, at least to me

"for the times" by me

i'm ready to find a place to live.

i'm ready to find a career i have a passion for.

i'm ready to say goodbye to the shores i've known.

i'm ready for autumn to come.

i'm ready for another cup of coffee.

i'm ready for the times to get better.

am i actually ready?

am i prepared for things to get better?

am i watching for the sun to rise?

am i taking the time to rest?

am i listening to my own thoughts, keeping them in check?

am i willing to accept the better times?

or do i want to wallow in my misery?

do i want to sit back and do nothing?

do i want to tune out anything pushing me forward?

do i want the clouds to fill the sky?

do i want the day to pass by idly?

do i avoid what makes my life better?

to live a life, to see a world like no other, to learn and grow beyond myself, to improve another life, to leave a record for future sojourners, and to ever watch the horizon.

that is the purpose of my writing.

to accomplish those lofty goals i have to be ready:

ready for profit and loss

ready for joy and sorrow

ready for growth and stagnation

ready to work for every step forward

ready to struggle with my self more than any other

ready to accept help

ready to love

ready to let go of things i know

ready to move on

i have to be ready for the times to get better, not just tired of how things are.

[bluewinnerangel]

right back at ya cowboy

Omg ella I'm so sorry I was gonna do this "later" and then it got buried. OK. I clicked. EDIT: I JUST FOUND THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM DOUBLE SORRY lol imma expose my ramble draft

[So in case someone's reading this thinking ???? we sometimes throw a spinning wheel of songs at each other and then just go rambling yelling analysing whatever it gives back. I've kept track with this tag, feel free to copy any of them wheels links and go off or bug someone with it actually pls do]

Oh you mean that song I for some reason like some total idiot put on first thing in the morning and just bawl my eyes out, you know when its so early you're just so vulnerable and everything feels raw and there's no thoughts just something primal happens and it's me drowning myself in this song and then the day can start I guess am I fine nobody knows. It's now my Saturday morning ritual where before coffee I see some sun and I just bawl there's something therapeutic about it. I'd recommend it. Just some sun some coffee brewin some confused pet wondering if you're OK yeah.

Anyway. The song I can place extremely easily in like "1d ended and it sucked" context, but it works with a lot. whatever I can think of him, or anyone, writing about, whatever it means to me. (general Louis' songwriting ramble incoming:) I'm looking at FITF differently compared to Walls and previous work and he's approached it differently, I feel like what he's been saying about his discography fits that as well. I think (this is a mash of what i think to hear in his lyrics and in interviews, so heavy paraphrasing:) before he had this idea he should be writing where the whole thing makes sense to be about this one situation/idea and it has to be about him too and sure perhaps a context might have been written around it, but i think in the past hes been pretty perfectionist on having every single line fit the thing he was thinking of what that song is, and now thats no longer the case. Now it's whatever works, whatever hits, feels, does it. It doesn't matter one thought/situation flows into another.

I guess that was a long rambley way of saying I wanna do line by line lyric analyses of his stuff but I don't know how to make that work as it did previously, for me at least. But on the other by temporarily running with one interpretation and seeing what you can find in the lines can really help see more angles, bring more depth to the line, and consider other meanings and stuff so.. idk not much wrong with it. I wanna do that too I think. This is I guess A Promise I'll do a Holding On To Heartache lyric breakdown. At Some Point. :D

But I think his choices of words and soundscapes and perhaps all them being little references are just wonderful. I cherish it so much. I'm slightly afraid he did the same in Perfect Now (like after seeing a web of possible perfect now lyrical referencing that song did become one of my favs as I love that idea like it gives so much more body depth meaning whatever to a song to me even if not on purpose lol its not even relevant at that point anymore anyway) and long term didn't value it much so now I'm afraid my new little more poppy fav will be his new neglected child but time will tell. Just... have an itch. Rip. EDIT yeah that itch got worse because of the track by track we got now.. it's got that bit about HOTH being a poppy one and the way he's talking about it sigh i feel him but sigh also hes sigh i dont wannt start that discourse over that shit so no. but itch. I uh... luckily don't let how I interpret his reactions to his own songs affect the way I feel about his own songs haha brainpayne this.

ok ok ok last ramble it sounds so fucking liquid? so wet?? how do I explain this why does it sound w e t EDIT: help me he said the sound is like a guitar under water like he's drowning it's flooding we're in a puddle of tears this song, it's what makes me bawl I think, because the song sounds like bawling, and your cheeks are puffed up and we,t and you find a moment of quiet and stare up at the sky with your wet lashes exhausted defeated but you're still here you're still breathing. Also the bridge with the "space between us just comes FLOODING back" at the end of it, it's not the bit that hits the hardest in an obvious way, instead it kinda gets overlooked a way, theres no moment to sit and waddle in the SHIT FLOODING BACK RIGHT THERE it just goes right into the quiet bit again,there's no time given to recover from getting crushed by the wavesm and it just does something to me... I can't leave that bit as the little end of a big thought it sounds like, but the way its sung... time just keeps ticking and we're at the end. I'm almost sure that wasn't intentional and like @ me why focus on this of all the overwhelm that's in this song, but that just feels like a reflection of the feeling I get from this song, you're just fucking sitting there in the middle of this overwhelming ache these waves of hurt and shit just moves on and youre just there stuck there with but i wasn't done? But I guess I should be? Like there's no room for me drowning in this even more but I feel like I need to still?

ramble out.