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umichenginabroad · 6 months

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Madrid Week 7: Viva Italia (not america..?)

Hola a todxs :). Niko back here again with week 7’s blog of my study abroad experience in Madrid! Like I mentioned in last week’s blog, this last weekend I traveled to Italy, and this past weekend I was in Sevilla, Spain. My trip to Italy was particularly transformative and jam packed with personal reflection. Read on for the reflection, stay for the photos (and Italian food p*rn). This blogpost probably took the longest for me to write, and was honestly pretty difficult for me to put in words. I hope I captured my thoughts well, and I always welcome feedback and discussion to any and all readers (at any point in time!).

Argentina (but aren’t we talking about Italy?)

As I’ve mentioned before, the summer after freshman year, I studied for 6 weeks in Buenos Aires, Argentina. One particular weekend, I took a trip to Iguazu Falls — the largest waterfall in the Americas by volume, and one of the 7 natural wonders of the world.

Long story short, I got onto a tour bus with a bunch of strangers from around the world, drove 15 hours across Argentina to get to the falls, randomly selected hostel room groups based on who was sitting nearby on the bus, and ended up in a group with 4 girls from Mexico, my travel buddy from the USA, and 1 girl from Italy.

We spent a wonderful weekend together seeing the waterfalls (barring a short-lived but intense spout of food poisoning after eating something funky at a Brazilian buffet), and formed the foundation of what could turn into lasting friendships. But, come Monday, we parted ways, not sure whether we would ever see each other again.

This trip was the first time I went into a travel situation without a true support system, and an important exercise in “trusting in the process” — and It helped me realize that I was capable of forming meaningful connections across language barriers, cultures, and in un-traditional social situations.

If it wasn’t obvious already, you might be able to see where this little backstory fits into my recent trip to Northern Italy. Before I departed for Spain in January, I sent a text to Gaia — the Italian friend I met in Iguazu — that I would be in Europe for the semester, and would love to see her at some point if the logistics work out.

Now we actually talk about Italy

Flash forward a few months, and well, the logistics worked out. Although our original plan was to go skiing in a small village in the Alps, we ended up being unable to due to weather issues. Instead, Gaia, her friend Camilla, and I took a tour of Northern Italy, visiting Turine, Asti, Moncalvo, and Milan.

In a way, this trip was an even bigger exercise in trust — although this time, it was my gut I was trusting, not the process. I hadn’t seen Gaia in nearly 2 years, and the only other time we had met lasted just 3 short days. I was about to spend another 3 days with her — but this time, nearly every waking moment would be spent together.

For some reason, the thoughts of “what if we didn’t get along?”, “what if it was awkward?”, “what if we got on each other’s nerves?” — normal things to think in this situation — never crossed my mind. I trusted my gut: that Gaia was someone that I got on with in the past, and I had a feeling that the people we grew into over the past two years would mesh just as well.

So, I didn’t worry. And I was right not to. After a short period of hesitancy, we clicked. We spent the weekend learning about each other — both from a personal and cultural point of view.

And by the end of this trip, I felt culturally enriched. There’s a level of cultural intimacy (is that a term? Well now it is, I just coined it) that can only be experienced by being someone who has lived and breathed that culture for their whole life — something that I feel like I’ve never had the pleasure of experiencing in my own heritage, first or second-hand.

A short aside on heritage in the USA

Ethnically, I am half Italian, half Greek. My great grandparents immigrated to the USA from the south of Italy through Ellis island, raising my grandmother, who gave birth to my mom. 4 generations later, I feel more comfortable calling myself Italian-American than Italian.

My mom’s side of the family was raised in northern New Jersey. I was raised Roman catholic, and I have 11 first cousins. Family gatherings are loud and boisterous, and people talk with their hands. My grandmother makes delicious Italian cookies called Pizzelles, and we call dish towels Mopinas (which isn’t even in the italian dictionary — it must have evolved on its own. Call it Englitalian [Italinglish? Coined.] ).

And that’s about all I’ve got to hold onto of Italian culture. Although I have more contact with Greece through the Orthodox Christian community and my direct-immigrant grandparents, I’ve never felt particularly connected to either culture. I don’t speak either language, and up until this past summer (when I visited Greece), I’d never been to either country.

People from the United States of America — especially, I think, those in the Northeast — place emphasis on their ethnic heritage that those from other countries around the world do not. Ask an American, and they’ll probably know where their blood comes from — if the records of their ancestor’s immigration do exist. Ask an Italian, or a Spaniard, and they probably will not. Odds are, in fact, that their blood will be just that: Italian, or Spanish.

The USA is a country built on immigrants, and it continues to be so to this day — and to me, it somehow feels wrong to not know anything about your cultural background.

This is a weirdly complex topic — one that I’ve thought about a lot —but bear with me here (and keep in mind, this is all from my personal point of view, and I welcome all new perspectives! Feel free to send me a message to discuss🙂). I think that, in the more liberal sphere of American adolescents, it’s almost “bad” to not know anything about your heritage — especially among white people, which is a label that I identify with. The USA has done a lot of messed up stuff in the world, and I think this is true to an extent that young Americans feel a desire to distance themselves from their nationality.

Instead, we grasp on to what we have that sets us apart from it — where our parents, grandparents, or great-grandparents come from. It gives us something to point to in conversations, something that lets us say “see, look, I’m not just a white-washed American, I’m cultured”, something to help us feel like we have more depth — especially in a country where everything feels like it comes from something else.

This is why I mentioned above that this is more common in the Northeast — although I can only truly speak on what I’ve experienced in Northern Virginia and in the University of Michigan. When I think of the term “melting pot”, I think of places like New York City. Southern states, and perhaps those in the West, have developed a culture that feels more unique, more distinctly American, and this is why (from my outside perspective) it seems like something more people feel proud of and claim as their own.

As I mentioned, this perspective comes from personal experience. And this is all something I’ve felt as a white American, at least 2 generations removed from my “mother countries”. After spending a weekend in Italy, I finally got a piece of that contact that I had always craved.

Italo-

Italian culture is just that — uniquely italian. Food, history, architecture, art — not only is it unique, but it is rich. From the first day that I spent with Gaia and Camilla, it was apparent that they felt a deep connection, pride, and understanding of their culture — and this is something that they graciously and enthusiastically shared with me.

I now have a greater — albeit limited — understanding of what it means to be Italian, in Italy. I learned about Italian espresso, when to have it (spoiler alert — any time of day is game), how to prepare it, and how it tastes. Some of my favorite moments of the trip were peacefully spent over the breakfast table in Gaia’s home, enjoying a light carb heavy breakfast and freshly brewed coffee.

We ate simple, delicious food at every restaurant we went to. The food was less extravagant than I expected it to be. Most of the meals were simple, with a focus on the ingredients and their preparation. Pastas, pizza, Milanese, Ragu, more pasta. Tiramisu, and gelato, too.

We had a night out — first to aperitivo, then to dinner, then to a bar that was built in an old desecrated church, then to a cheesy karaoke bar where the whole place was singing old Italian songs at the top of their lungs — with a group of 12 in Gaia’s hometown, which was made up of friends stemming from her high school days. The biggest difference between the Italian dinner party and an American one — we took our time. There was a feeling of ease at the table. Nothing was rushed. We enjoyed each dish, each glass of wine, and over everything, enjoyed each other’s company. The focus was on the people and the conversation, not on what was to be ordered and how fast it came out. I hope to bring this rhythm back to Ann Arbor with me (but that may be more difficult than I think. See footnote 1 below*).

We explored multiple Italian cities, and walked a TON. I learned an interesting perspective of Milan (which was a beautiful city) from Camilla’s boyfriend — Milan is Italy to Europe, and Milan is Europe to Italy. (See footnote 2**). The architecture was beautiful, and after a rainstorm, Milan looked magical. The ground was sparkling, reflecting the dramatically lit buildings of the city center in the puddles that gathered on the ground. I saw the Italian countryside, picturesque rolling hills backdropped by an epic sunlit cumulo-nimbus cloud.

I even learned a base of the Italian language (I probably said “Come si dice” 100 times) that will serve me well if and when I want to learn it in the future — or if I ever get my Italian citizenship and decide to move there. Guess only time will tell.

-americano

3 days is not a long period of time, but I can confidently say now that I understand a little better what it means to be Italian. I feel more connected to my cultural heritage — and in turn, I feel more connected than ever to my native culture in the USA.

It’s true that the USA has done a bunch of messed up stuff in the world. Imperialism, war crimes, political and economical extortion — the list goes on. But the longer I spend in Europe — the more I come into contact with different cultures, and understand foreign perspectives on the USA — the less these things feel like they’re inside a black box. Instead of avoiding these hard truths, I can face them head on — allowing me to acknowledge the bad and the good that comes with US culture.

A big critique I’ve heard abroad is that the United States has no culture of its own — but I don’t think that’s true. The USA is a place where global cultures collide, providing its citizens the opportunity to experience bits and pieces of the world and giving rise to unique elements born from this fusion.

Over the past 2 months, I’ve slowly shifted away from the feeling of shame that comes with being an American in Europe — and that’s thanks to a willingness to learn, adapt to, and accept cultures that I experience while I’m abroad (re: cultural humility, blogpost coming soon). Now, I’ll proudly say that I’m 50% Greek, 50% Italian, and 100% American. With my continuously evolving understanding of my individual parts (and all of the other cultures I come into contact with, especially Spain), I feel like I can better understand and contribute to that fusion, both in the melting pot of the United States, and as an international citizen in Europe — enriching the lives of myself and those I come into contact with.

Such is becoming “cultured” — a concept that has a bit of a pretentious connotation (IMO), but is worth striving for. I’ll be returning to Italy for spring break (Rome, Florence), so hopefully I’ll continue to develop this connection then. I also bookmarked in Google maps here all the places I visited in Italy this trip (and will do so in the next one) if you're considering taking a trip and want recommendations!

I planned on writing about Sevilla this week too, but I think this post has gone on long enough. I thoroughly enjoyed the different vibe it has from Spain, even through the rainy weather we experienced.

As always, check out the image descriptions for more details on each one. I hope everyone has a great rest of their week, and see you back here next soon!

Hasta luego,

Niko Economos

Aerospace Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

* In Italy, and the rest of Europe, servers get paid fair wages. In the USA, it’s not required, because it’s expected that servers will make up the difference in tips. I worked as a server for 2 summers, and made $3.50 an hour. The amount of money I made in a night was directly correlated to the number of tables I turned over. As a result, I did my best to get orders in fast, food out faster, and clear the table as quickly as I could so that I could make more money. Until this fact changes, I think it’s hard to have the same no-rush Italian experience over dinner unless you’re really conscious of it. Personally, if I’m not feeling pressure from a server to leave quickly, I’m likely feeling a sense of guilt for staying too long and reducing their nightly wage, no matter how well I tip. Maybe home cooked meals are the answer, which I’ll hopefully be well practiced with next semester :)

**To Europeans, they look at Milan and see what they think of Italy. The world capital of fashion, beautiful architecture, prosperous and well known city. Italians look at Milan and see what they think of as Europe —highly international, intercultural, and as a result more gentrified and expensive. I found this to be really interesting. Is there a US city that fits this bill?

#UmichEnginAbroad #IPEUC3M #NikoEconomos #IPEWinter24 #Spain

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drowningswimmer · 2 years

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Thursday Night Thoughts

Nobody prepares you for your life to fall apart. One minute you’re moving into college, making all these friends, and the next you’re sitting in a doctor’s office being told you might never be able to swim again. Your family asks you how you’re doing, and you say “It’s great! I love everything about it!” but you don’t tell them that you had to withdraw from your English class because you were failing. You think that maybe being a student-athlete might work until the surgery that will end your pain will end your career.

You go to physical therapy twice a week. You do your exercises and get frustrated with your physical therapists every time they make you stop because you’re in pain. You want to cry and say that you can do more, that this is nothing, anything to speed up the recovery process. Losing your friends, your teammates, and your family seems like the end of the world. One minute you’re making goals, everything seems to be looking up, and the next you’re crying in the athletic trainer’s office relaying the orthopedist’s bad news. You don’t even care if you’ll be good again or not, you just want to swim. You just want to not have to modify lifts again. You just want to be okay again, in manageable conditions without paying money to feel that way.

Feeling like you’re letting a coach down is one of the worst feelings. They didn’t sign on for this. Bringing in a recruit, a new commit, and an ecstatic freshman should be great. There shouldn’t be problems. They shouldn’t be getting day-to-day updates from the athletic trainer on the plan for practice that day.

But hey, at least you’re doing good in your classes, right? Wrong. Having so much on my plate with classes, homework, practices, physical therapy, and doctor’s appointments, I could go on and on and on. It’s not easy. Do you have the grades to show for it? B’s, yeah. The withdrawal from English is certainly screwing you up. But you’re the oldest child—the one that always seems fine, so how are you supposed to reach out about these issues? You’re one of the only non-bio majors in your class, how can you compare to their workload?

But it’s worth it. It’s worth it to have your nightly roommate movie and tv show nights. It’s worth it to be friends with everyone in the athletic trainer's office. It’s worth it to finally see your work pay off in the classroom and the gym. It’s worth it to have your teammates care for and check in on you when you’re not doing okay. It’s worth it to say you made it through hell and got out on the other side a little scraped but otherwise fine. You made it. You’ll make it. It’ll be hard, but you’ll make it.

Your world might crumble in a matter of minutes. Mine did. It might have been minutes at a time, spread over weeks and weeks and weeks. The straw that broke the camel’s back was an orthopedist’s appointment. Getting told that I might never swim again and that he felt the surgery that could potentially change my life wouldn’t be worth it was horrendous. It felt like I was being lied to—or on a prank show. That the surgery that could fix my shoulder might make it worse. I cried on the way down in the elevator because I was so tired. So tired of more and more shit being thrown at me over the years, and this could be the worst of it all. So, I break down in the trainer’s office. I let them tell me everything’s going to be okay, that we need to make some decisions, and that they’ve got me to take all the time I need. I cry again in my coach’s office, telling them again what just happened.

I still go to physical therapy twice a week. I still break down in the locker room after kicking with my silly little kickboard for an hour. I still feel isolated. I’m still benched indefinitely while we work on my shoulder strength. I can’t tell you everything’s going to be okay yet, because I’m still fighting.

#mental health #athlete mental health #swimming #swimmer

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phykios · 3 years

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honesty and promise me, part 10 [co-written with @darkmagyk] [read on ao3]

“If you don’t talk to me, I’m not going to leave you my keys.”

Annabeth looks at Piper from behind the loom, glaring through the threads. “Then you won’t come back to ten bolts of fabric.”

In fairness, it was sort of an empty threat. Piper has all the good stuff: the surger, the embroidery machine, the industrial sewing machines, plus a million sources for fabric that aren’t Annabeth’s stress weaving. Annabeth only has her own shitty sewing machine at home that she’d gotten for Christmas when she was fourteen.

Also, Piper wouldn’t actually lock her out. She needs those fabrics.

“Why don’t you just not go?” Annabeth says. “If you stay, I promise to tell you all the gritty details.” She’s joking, but the second she says it, she’s hit with a strange wave of desperation.

She wants to tell Piper all the gritty details. How she had giggled and smoozed and looked so pretty on Luke’s arm, tattoos and undercut and everything else so carefully concealed. She never wanted to tell Thalia the gritty details. The dirty ones, sure, particularly when the dirty things didn’t involve Thalia’s beloved younger cousin. But she had spent two years, two hard painful years, hiding vast swaths of herself from Thalia.

She thought of the night of the gala, of Thalia telling her family she knew Luke from college. NYU. They’d been actors together.

Annabeth hadn’t been the only one hiding things.

It had stung, in all sorts of ways.

Piper stares, narrowing her eyes. “How dare you tempt me into giving up my creative retreat for gossip.”

Annabeth shrugs. “It’s one or the other.”

The glare at each other, stubborn as all hell.

Piper throws up her hands. “Fine. Just make my fabric and call Leo if you’re having another crisis.”

The truth is, she will tell Piper. Eventually. She knows she will. It will probably be in eight months, when she gets back, when hopefully the shame of her false life and the devastation of losing Percy has lessened, but she will tell her. But eight months is a long time. “I do have other friends, you know.”

“Then call Luke. Or Thalia.”

It takes absolutely everything Annabeth has not to wince at the names.

She would never have told Thalia. Not really. Even things like this, even if it hadn’t involved her. Thalia wasn’t… good at relationship stuff. Not like Piper. And she never knew all of Annabeth’s romantic history--not like Piper did, anyway.

And it wasn’t just romantic relationships.

Annabeth might have been able to share her pain, and share her pain with Thalia, but it had, in many ways, only been a surface level thing. Thalia saw her pain after Annabeth’s mom had rescinded her approval of her life, but she'd taken Annabeth’s silence as the end of the matter, and responded to it by acting out, and arguably drinking too much.

But they never talked about her mother. They never talked about Thalia’s, either, and if there was something Annabeth learned from Hazel’s gala beyond how unfairly handsome Percy was going to look in thirty years, it was that there was a lot going on there.

It is a little hurtful on reflection. Making her feel less close to Thalia, but also less guilty about what she never said. And less willing to accept her reactions.

Her emotions have been all over the place the last few weeks.

Piper notices, because of course Piper notices, but she is an angel, and has known her for a long time, so she doesn’t badger her too much. She also doesn’t mention that Annabeth’s measurements all seem to be off. Not even to say something about beauty at every size or her well publicized efforts for diverse bodies in fashion.

But it was still nice to spend time with her. It felt like the old days, staying up too late making the next thing in fashion, and then passing out together, surrounded by bobbins and bagels, Gossip Girl playing on TV.

It did make Piper’s impending departure that much harder, though.

Two weeks into November, she meets Piper and Leo for dinner, and then sees Piper off to JFK for her eight-month creativity retreat in Oklahoma. “You know, like how you decided you couldn’t have a doorman for creative reasons,” she’d said with a raised eyebrow when Annabeth had questioned the move. Piper likes to treat the last two years of Annabeth’s life like some sort of creative exercise. Her dad had done that too, once, when she bothered to answer his call.

Not that she’s not doing anything other than helping Piper pick stitches, and sewing hemlines Piper is too important to deal with herself. She wishes that earlier estimation had been true.

Since the gala she’s been living on Uber Eats at Piper’s, unless she gets bullied home, in which case it's the same but less varied selection with more meat, so the night out with Piper and Leo the night before Piper’s flight feels like a radical departure from the norm. Even though they just go to dinner.

Which does not stop her from feeling hungover the next morning.

“You had half a glass of wine last night,” Leo points out from the door of her bathroom.

“I remember,” she agrees when it lets up for a moment.

“If you get me sick,” he says, “I’m sending you the doctor's bill.”

“Fair,” she chokes out.

Leo doesn’t hug her goodbye, but he does tell her he hopes she gets better before heading back to Boston.

Annabeth, hugging porcelain, wishes she could go with him.

She was very seriously considering it a few days later. Magnus would take pity on her and Alex was always fun to hang out with. Plus, they’d probably think she was too pathetic to be called on her shit. She only did not make plans to go up to Boston because on Wednesday Luke texted her: Already a shit week, brunch this weekend? And she knew if she ran off to Boston, she wouldn’t leave Magnus and Alex’s guest room until they forced the issue.

But it would be nice to talk to someone in New York City who doesn’t hate her guts, she thought.

So, on Sunday morning, she throws up the wonton soup she’d ordered in for dinner the night before, gurgles some mouthwash, uses the expensive concealer to hide the dark circles, and over does the mascara in hopes that she mostly looks awake.

“You look terrible,” are the first words Luke says to her.

“You have no idea how to talk to women,” she says, slumping down across from him.

“I do,” Luke says, “I just know not to bother with you.” But he frowns at her, taking her in. She’s broken out a Chanel jacket, but she isn’t sure when she last washed these jeans. A real winning combo, her.

“But really,” Luke says, “you look miserable. Is it about what happened on Halloween?”

She shrugs. It isn’t not that. Percy’s words still circle through her head, his sad, defeated face as he bemoaned the, how did he put it? All the rich girls who fucked him to make a point. Made all the worse because she believes them. Probably not the same points as those princesses, but… probably not as different as she would like.

She wonders if Europe is full of very wealthy aristocratic women who are all secretly and shamefully still in love with Percy Jackson. And Frank Zhang.

It makes her feel hollow and nauseous all at once.

But she’s been feeling nauseous for weeks now, so at least it's not a new feeling. If it keeps up, she’s going to have to go to the doctor soon.

She hates going to the doctor. It feels like cheating when she just goes and pays and knows other people can’t. She had once lied to Thalia about getting money for a side gig, and then given her two hundred bucks for a trip to the clinic. Now that Annabeth has spent many hours in his cousin’s apartment, and has heard Nico talk about his yearly income on top of the money his dad gives him, she’s not sure how it came down to her.

“Not really,” Annabeth says, “I mean, I still feel just as terrible, but that’s mostly the problem. I feel sick.”

“It's been three weeks.” Luke looks genuinely concerned. “What’s going on?”

“I’m exhausted and nauseous all the time,” she says, groaning at the thought. She was okay right at this moment, but she knew it could come back at the drop of a hat.

Luke frowned at her. “That’s all?”

“Isn’t that enough?”

“I mean…” He looked at her, his eyes gazing lower, to her body. Luke had never really come on to her in any kind of real way. But she’s not sure he’s ever looked at her with less lust than he does right at that moment.

It is calculating. She’s gained some weight, she knows. But if Luke points it out, she’s going to kick him in the nuts with her steel toed boots. Or maybe make him explain himself and his relationship with Thalia.

“Annabeth,” Luke says, his voice lower, a frown on his face, “please don’t freak out.”

She can feel her heart pick up, just a bit. “That’s a terrible place to start.”

“Have you been feeling… emotionally volatile lately? Having a lot of mood swings?”

She frowns. She’d maybe been crying a little more than normal at sentimental hulu ads, but she always has a soft touch for that kind of thing, and she’s going through some stuff. “I don’t think you should ask a woman that.”

“You are really not going to like my next question, then.” He leans close and says, “Are your… breasts tender?”

“You’re right, I don’t like that question,” Annabeth says, crossing her arms over her chest. Even though they are. “I don’t know why you thought that, and how you knew.”

Luke looks at her with such pity, she feels like she’s suddenly eighteen years old again, and crying on his couch at the end of freshman year about the greatest heartbreak of her life. (It had moved to second place. Lucky it. The boy in that bar had only been theoretical, mostly.)

Luke reaches out, grasping one of her hands, and for a second, Annabeth is sure he is going to tell her that she’s dying.

“Have you considered you might be pregnant?”

She yanks her hand away. “I can’t be pregnant,” she says. “I haven’t had sex in weeks.”

“Have you had your period since then?” Luke asks.

“Not that it's any of your business,” she says, “but I haven’t had one in years.” They do talk about sex sometimes, but periods had long been off the Luke table.

Luke grimaces. “Well, you’ve been sexually active recently…”

“It’s been more than a month!”

“When did you start getting morning sickness?” Luke asks “You were throwing up at Halloween.”

“That wasn’t in the morning,” she snaps, “and I feel fine now.”

“You know morning sickness doesn’t just happen in the morning,” Luke says. “And with the rest of your symptoms, well--”

She shakes her head, glaring at Luke. His judgement would have been better than his patient mansplaining. “You think I don’t use birth control?”

Luke shrugs a little. “I mean… you’re… not great at things like daily medication. That’s what happened last time. And if a condom broke or you didn’t use one…”

Last time. Oh, last time. Last time had been the worst four hours of her life, in between realizing that she hadn’t been remembering her birth control pills every day, that her period was a few days late, and that she’d definitely been having unprotected sex with that boy in Luke’s cohort who was probably too old for her. Last time had been her having a panic attack on Luke’s Cambridge apartment couch while a very reluctant Leo was sent to buy a pregnancy test or twelve, and Piper reassuring her via speaker phone that it would be ok, while Luke rubbed her back and reminded her to breathe.

“I do remember what happened last time,” she says. “That’s why I got an IUD. Which, if you don’t know, from all your girlfriends' pregnancy scares, has the same failure rate as permanent sterilization, less than one percent. So…” So it would be okay. She couldn’t be pregnant. That’s why it had been okay for Percy and Annabeth to start fucking without a condom.

“When was the last time you got a new one?”

“August.” She says, thinking back. She was almost sure. “I remember because it was before the Eta thing--Leo called me to tell me about the ceremony while I was at the gyno.”

“So you were distracted and being a bad patient when they were trying to put it in?”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

But she won’t give Luke, of all people, the satisfaction. “They are professionals. They should know what they’re doing, even if I was on the phone.”

Luke gives her his most disappointed dad face. It is worse than Annabeth’s own father. “You’re the one who always tells me I need to not make people’s jobs harder by being a bad client,” he quietly reminds her.

She fucking hates him.

But despite herself, she pulls out her phone, and begins googling misplaced IUDs and pregnancy.

They haven’t even ordered yet, but Luke is already standing up, probably based on the look on her face as she manages to fight through the dyslexia and figure out what it says. “Come on,” he says, helping her out of her chair, even though she’s not an invalid. She just might be pregnant.

She pushes that thought away as she follows Luke into a cab and then up to his apartment. He makes her some tea and hands her a banana while he goes to get her a pregnancy test, because Luke’s not quite shameless enough to have one at home. She waits for him in a living room straight out of American Psycho and reads up on IUD pregnancy complications online. Which she probably should not have done.

By the time Luke gets back, she is crying again. He’s gotten her 3 tests, which is very considerate of him, as she’s going to need them.

Walking into the bathroom, she’s shaking hard enough that she needs to brace herself on the wall. He lets her use the nice one off his bedroom, though it's not like she needs the jacuzzi tub.

When she’s done peeing, she sets a timer on her phone and sits on Luke’s bed. He tries to speak to her several times. She doesn’t respond.

It isn’t the longest ten minutes of her life, because the truth is, she knows.

She already knows.

When the alarm goes off, she shrugs off Luke’s arm and silently walks back into the bathroom.

Luke got a digital readout, because what else was he going to do. And so she looks at the little screen and just barely processes the word pregnant.

She doesn’t need to take the other tests. She doesn’t need confirmation or to be convinced.

She reaches down and pressed on her lower abdomen, lifting her shirt. She had noticed a slight change. But she’d also changed a lot of her daily routine lately, had eaten a lot more ice cream. Right now, she can’t see any kind of bump, not really, but she can see a shift. Something flat gone fuller.

Annabeth is pregnant.

Annabeth is pregnant with Percy’s baby.

Percy’s baby.

She bursts into tears all over again.

An eternity later, there is a knock on the door.

“Annabeth,” Luke calls, “can I come in?”

She manages to choke out a yes.

Luke finds her sitting on the edge of the tub. He looked at the test still sitting on the counter.

“Let me make a call,” he says, sitting next to her, resting a hand on her arm. “I know a doctor. He can get you a pill or maybe even see you if you need it. Probably today or tomorrow. We can get this all taken care of and then I’ll buy you ice cream and we can watch Legally Blonde, and you can complain about how it doesn’t accurately reflect the admissions process.”

Normally Annabeth would pre-complain, and point out that given Elle’s GPA, LSAT, and extracurricular activities, she would have been a shoe in for her program, and the movie was dismissive of her prior academic achievement. But she’s too busy parsing what Luke is saying.

He squeezes her hand in support. “It's going to be okay,” he says, sweetly.

“No.” She says. But not because it won’t be okay. “No, I’m not going to have an abortion.”

“It's okay,” Luke promises. “I would never judge you. And no one else would ever have to know. This isn’t something you have to do.”

“I know that,” Annabeth says. “I don’t have to do anything.” She detangles her hand from Luke’s and rests it on her stomach, where her uterus waits under her skin. “I want to do this.”

Luke looks at her hand. “Poseidon Olympianides’ son?” he asks. “That’s the father?”

She nods.

Blowing out a breath through his teeth, he sighs. “Well, you’ll be able to get some good child support out of him at least. That family is loaded.”

“Don’t say that,” she nearly screams, and Luke actually jerks back a little. “He doesn’t have any money. He’s his dad’s bastard kid,” she says, feeling a little bad about revealing his family history, but knowing that the word would spark something in Luke. “I don’t know if I’m even going to tell him.”

It feels like something cheap and shallow, trapping a man with a lie, then a baby.

She’s still crying and tentatively, Luke reaches out and wraps his arms around her, pulls her to him.

“Come on,” he says, pulling her up. “You still need ice cream and a movie.”

Annabeth cries. And she doesn’t fight him, but it feels so strange. Half way through her Caramel Sutra and the Legally Blonde proshot, she realizes what’s different.

For the first time since Percy walked out of her apartment without a good-bye kiss, Annabeth Chase is happy.

She’s pregnant with Percy Jackson’s baby.

She’s going to have Percy Jackson’s baby.

She’s not sure if she’s ever heard anything as wonderful in her entire life.

And if she’s going to be worthy of it, worthy of her baby, then she’s going to have to get her shit together.

#my fic #ballet au #pjo #pjo fic #percabeth #percabeth fic #darkmagyk #perseannabeth #goooooooooooooooooooood morning all!

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binunus · 4 years

Text

college bf!bin

a/n the duality of this man??? i’m deceased...anyway i did not think this would go this long but uh my hand slipped...happy birthday binnie!

word count: 5k

genre: fluff, smut, (tiny) angst _________________________________________________

ugh yo

bin is so??? infuriatingly hot??? yet cute at the same time

major: exercise science

and because I love mermaid prince/the beginning, he’s been on the swim team since first year college

swam varsity starting his second year

besties with eunwoo, they were roommates their whole college career

alright so bin loves making friends

he’s so playful and talkative once you really get to know him

but his aura?? tbh very intimidating

like he has an rbf and just like he’s so tall, broad shouldered, built, like he just carries himself very strongly that you will get intimidated when you first meet him

very well known in the university

literally has a professional photographed banner of him hanging in the athletic building with the gold medal he won freshman year

a little embarrassed about it

not really, only when the boys (as in literally the other five) tease him

myungjun: woOoOw bin that guy on the banner really looks like you, don’t you think?

rocky: we geeeeet it you’re a star athlete

blah blah blah you know the vibes, they’re endearing

so how do you meet bin?

basically you’re a friend of a friend—you’re eunbi’s (sinb) friend

you’ve only met bin briefly from time to time, but otherwise you never really had any reason to get acquainted with him

your only encounters of him are when he wants to annoy eunbi and she immediately puts him in his place

but then suddenly in the spring semester of your 2nd year, you and him are in the same 8 am

a boring statistics gen ed class that everyone needs to take in order to graduate

you were running a bit late during the first class meeting—you woke up 30 minutes after your alarm and literally rushed out of your apartment—you made it to class with 2 minutes to spare

most of the seats were filled up already, except that one seat in the back left corner by the window next to the one and only moon bin

oh would you look at that

you felt a bit relieved honestly, you didn’t know anyone else in that class so at least you saw a semi-familiar face

he grinned at you when you sat down

“hey y/n”

you were a bit taken back, “you know my name?”

he laughed a little, “yeah of course, you’re one of eunbi’s really good friends, why wouldn’t I know your name?”

before you could respond, the professor started class and ceased your conversation

one thing you realized as the weeks start to go on

you and bin could not give any two fucks about statistics

no offense to stats lovers

every 8 am on mon/wed/fri, neither one of you would pay attention in class

you both enabled each other to not pay attention basically

so when the professor announced the content and date for the first exam

you and bin literally looked at each other with the same expression

you were both fucked

after class was dismissed, instead of the two of you quickly packing your things and fleeing the room immediately, you both lagged a little bit

you: so...do you know anything that’s going to be on the exam?

bin: uh...no? y/n you’re literally right next to me, you know I don’t do jack shit in this class

you: well fuck, how are you gonna study then bin?

bin: I was probably gonna ask my roommate to help me, he passed with a 96 when he took this class

you give him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, you lean in and clasp your hands together like you’re praying

“can he help me too...? please?”

bin’s eyes go a lil wide bc you were a bit closer than he was used to and shit was his heart racing rn?

bin: uh...yeah...sure, i’ll text you to come over when we’re gonna study

you beam at him and like in your excitement you give him a hug

“thank you thank you thank you! i literally cannot fail this class. I’ll see you on friday bin!”

with that you grabbed your bag and just left, leaving bin shocked

he’s surprisingly a shy boy okay!

he always thought you were cute from when he first saw you hanging out with eunbi, but ofc he never thought any more of it

until you guys had this class together and he started to think every day, that wow you are really cute

bin texts you the next day

coincidentally, eunbi texts you too

bin: hey this is bin, if you’re free in an hour my roommate’s gonna help me go over the material in ch. 1

eunbi: why did bin ask for your number

you to bin: yes! send me your addy and i’ll be there :)

you to eunbi: we’re in the same stats class lol and we’re gonna study for our exam next week

eunbi: lol moon bin studying? you might wanna bring some wine with you for emergency y/n

you: lol what do you mean by that?

eunbi: binnie hates studying, but good luck!

ahh, eunbi becomes unhinged when it comes to bin

but you know it’s bc they’re that close, they’re literally childhood best friends, more so like siblings

still, studying w him couldn’t be that bad right?

spoiler alert, it went alright

you felt bad showing up to bin’s apartment empty handed so you picked up some coffee before you arrived

you officially meet bin’s roommate, eunwoo, and you’re floored for like 2 minutes bc literally how can a man like him be real?

cue bin being a bit jealous bc yeah he knew his roommate’s perfect but like damn did you have to be affected by him too :(

eunwoo’s a good teacher alright? you actually understood the material from him

you: idk what eunbi’s talking about, you’re actually not that bad at studying bin

bin being offended: oh god what did eunbi say about me

eunwoo smirking: maybe it’s because you’re here y/n, bin usually doesn’t focus this much when it’s just me trying to help him

you: ???

bin in his head: i can’t trust anyone huh

before you left his place, you and bin planned to meet up and study one more time before your stats exam

it was just you and bin this time

although you’d never admit it, yes you tried to look good for meeting up with him

yeah he’s a friend?? at least you think you were at that level?? but still, he’s a cute friend and you really didn’t want him to see you looking crusty

you and bin end up studying for a whole 5 hours

granted, half of that time you two were messing around, eating food, trying to procrastinate for as long as you could

bc even though you two had a good handle on the material now—thanks to eunwoo—you both still hated statistics

you knew bin started to get more comfortable with you bc he started teasing you

it made you happy hehe so ofc you started to quip back at him

not at the intensity that he and eunbi do but it’s enough for you :)

he walks you back to your apartment after your study session

wow what a gentleman

bin waving bye at your door with the cutest smile: see you in class y/n :)

mayhaps your stomach did a little somersault

anyways

on the day of your exam you were freaking out

you have test anxiety ah ha ha

you woke up at 5 bc you were paranoid about being late to class

you’re like hastily looking over the notes again when you get to class like are you really prepared omg you’re psyching yourself out hella

bin comes in with 2 cups of iced coffee and he’s like woah are you okay

you: i woke up at 5 bin, idk if i can do this omg

you are like visibly in distress rn and he feels like a pang in his chest

he was gonna mess with you and say like “bet im gonna get a higher grade than you” but he smartly decides against it

instead, he just takes your hand and gives it a little squeeze: y/n, take a deep breath. you’re going to do great, you studied your ass for this and we both know that you got this material down—even eunwoo hyung said you were gonna ace this exam. just trust your instincts, okay? breathe with me.

he was staring at you so intently and genuinely when trying to calm you down

your anxiety yeeted and suddenly you felt shy

you: th...thanks bin...

bin was worried about you while taking the test rip, he kept secretly glancing at you (while also trying not to make it look like he was cheating) just to make sure that you were okay

he walks you to your next class after you both finished your exam

bin: you sure you’re okay? you said you woke up at 5, did you even eat breakfast? let’s get food after your next class.

you were feeling better after the test but like you got so endeared at his fussing

yes you and bin got lunch that day

your exam results were uploaded the next day

you immediately called bin: I GOT A 95

bin: i told you that you would ace it! i got a 90 hehe

you: bin i literally owe you and eunwoo my life, lemme buy you guys food or something

you hear a little bit of bickering over the phone and suddenly you’re talking to eunwoo

eunwoo: i would love some sushi, but since bin can’t eat seafood, why don’t you come watch his swim meet this weekend :)

you: o...h...o-okay yeah i’d love to watch, what time is it? :)

eunwoo: it’s saturday at 10 am

you: okay! i’ll see you there bin

bin already planning on drop kicking eunwoo

cha eunwoo—best wingman™

you basically beg eunbi to go with you to bin’s swim meet

eunbi: i know bin can swim, why do i have to watch him flounder around under water

also eunbi: faster bin! don’t you fucking dare lose!

bin places first this meet

are we shocked? no

okay you mentally prepared yourself for seeing him shirtless, but clearly you didn’t prep enough bc you’re on the cusp of drooling when you’re watching him from the bleachers

and let’s face it, you’re not subtle and eunbi knows everything so she’s literally closing your jaw for you and like messing with you

eunbi: y/n, you’re really sure you like bin? he’s a good guy but c’mon, i think you deserve better

you: since when did i say that i like him ???? and what do you mean ??? i think he checks...all the boxes...for me...

eunbi: maybe it’s bc i’ve known him since when he used to wet his pants so i don’t understand why people are attracted to him, but like...really, you’ve been checking him out since he removed his shirt. even the ref can see that you’re simping over him

you and eunbi meet up with eunwoo and the rest of bin’s friends—that you haven’t met yet but know of

jinjin: oh so you’re the y/n that bin’s been talking about *wink wonk*

baby you’re blushing

even more so when bin comes up to your group

mmm middle parted wet hair, muscle tee and white sweats, towel around his shoulders

he’s so hot ???

you’re all congratulating him blah blah, but like bin keeps glancing at you and all you can do is just smile and like nervous laugh

sanha: y/n! eunbi noona! you should come eat with us to celebrate bin hyung’s win

eunbi glances at you, little smirk on her face: i have plans, but i know y/n’s free! bin you make sure they get home safe after y’alls dinner plans :)

hwang eunbi—best wingwoman™

dinner with the boys was chaotic, you were talking and joking around with them as if you didn’t just meet them today

*you about to get your wallet*

bin, not even able to look at you: it’s okay y/n, i got you this time

cue the boys teasing

astro: kings of making fun of each other

rocky as the group is splitting up: walk y/n home safely hyung :) don’t stay out too late

bin: sorry about them, they’re a bunch of loud idiots...ah haha...

the walk back to your apartment is actually pretty sweet

he didn’t know if you would actually come watch his meet or not but he was excited when he actually saw you

you talk about small random things about yourselves, but it’s not like useless information, you bet that both your subconsciouses are keeping track of whatever y’all are talking about

you give each other a “friendly” hug goodnight...that lasts like a minute or so

and while you’re hugging, bin just can’t help but think that wow you fit so perfectly in his arms

and on the other hand, you’re thinking he feels so warm? so safe? you don’t want to pull away?

but ofc the hug has to end and you’re thanking him for walking you home and he’s like glued to his spot waving goodbye sweetly and waiting for you to go inside so that he knows you’re safely in your apartment before leaving

bin sighing dreamily as he walks back to his and eunwoo’s place

eunwoo waiting on the couch with a glass of water: how was your date ;)

bin: it wasn’t a date, i just walked y/n home

eunwoo: yeah, but you want it to be a date

bin: ...shut up

god why is the pining stage so long

alright everyone knows you and bin like each other

it becomes pretty obvious after the swim meet

you and him fall into this little routine of switching who buys coffee for your 8 am

and then he’d walk you to your next class afterwards

you both still don’t pay attention in stats, sorry

but that means more outside study sessions dates

you come watch his swim meets, whether astro’s there or you’re just watching by yourself

and then you and him get lunch?? early dinner?? right afterwards, it depends on whenever his meet ends

but like??? neither of you have confessed your feelings for each other

even though you both have like a little hint that yeah the feelings are mutual

you and bin are literally like this for 3 months, like damn the semester is almost over

eunbi and eunwoo are tired of your shit, they’re both just like: when the fuck are they getting together? we’re sick of this.

alright so the masterminds literally pay one of eunwoo’s friends from his major to ask you out while you’re studying with bin

let’s do mingyu why not, he was in your korean history class last year

you and bin are in the library, half studying half goofing off per usual

eunwoo, eunbi, and mingyu are at the opposite side of the floor

mingyu: u sure bin won’t clock me for trying to ask out y/n

eunwoo: probably not??

eunbi: just do it please

mingyu giving them both the finger before walking up to your table

“hey y/n...i was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me...as a date?”

you: o_o huh?

mingyu: i always thought you were cute from when we had class together last year, but i never had the balls to ask you out or anything...you’re not dating anyone, right?

you glance at bin to find that he’s already looking at you with an expression that you don’t really know how to read

you: um...well no I’m not-

bin: actually, we’re dating so y/n can’t go out with you mingyu, sorry.

mingyu’s not even phased, he just gives you a thumbs up and then leaves

you’re confused like literally what is going on—and then you process what bin said and you whip your head to look at him

bin: sorry i said that...i just felt...jealous i guess when mingyu asked you out

you: I wouldn’t have said yes anyway...I sorta like someone else

bin: fuck it, the topic already came up...y/n I’ve liked you for a while now but uh...I don’t know I guess I was scared to tell you because I’m scared of rejection

you just laugh, but not mockingly! more like bin you’re so cute wtf

“bin, why would I reject you when I’ve literally been into you for the past four months?”

it’s safe to say that you and bin officially began dating after that

eunwoo texting in their gc: bin and y/n are finally together

myungjun: fucking finally

bin: how...did u know that eunwoo...?

*eunwoo has left the chat*

alright but bin’s charm?? flirting?? teasing?? sweetness?? up 1000%

bin is touchy y’all, in private his hands are always on you, whether it be sexual or not sexual is up to you

he restrains himself in public ofc, the most he does is put a hand on your waist or hold your hand

eunbi threatens bin early on in your relationship: bin you’re like my brother, but y/n’s one of my dearest friends and if you as much make them cry i will kill you

ofc bin is still eunbi’s punching bag, but when you three are hanging out, he’s dramatic and acts like he’s hurt so he’s like whining to you

sometimes you play along and coo at him like: aww binnie, where does it hurt baby?

other times you’re like: you really think i believe that?? with the size of your biceps??

eunbi: excuse me while i vomit

okay but binnie? bestest sweetest boy

yes he looks all big and intimidating

but he’s soft—especially for you

your nicknames for each other are either “bub” or “baby”

yes will join in making fun of you with the boys, but when you start pouting he’s a goner and will defend you

bin is also a big cuddler, but i mean you’re not complaining hehe

he’s the big spoon, no questions asked

okay but being in bin’s arms is like your favorite place in the world

his frame literally just envelopes you and all you can feel and smell is him and it’s so??? content, you feel at home with him

you feel bad in the morning bc like his arm has to be sore from your weight so you try to like get out of his grasp, but he literally just whines and hugs you tighter

okay but just imagine you and bin napping and his arms are around your waist, his nose is buried in your neck and he wakes up like nuzzling his face in your shoulder like a puppy

im soft

one week you’re staying over at bin’s apartment and then the next week he’s staying over at yours, the cycle goes like that

if you’re one of my ladies with a ~vagíne~, he will buy all your cravings and your tampons/pads, literally anything you want that week, it is yours

doesn’t really get jealous now that you two are official, he knows that you’re his and he’s yours

you two lightly bicker like friends, but you’ve never had a terrible fight before

you were really close to though—or...like you did?? but it was resolved really quick

one of the only problems of bin is that he hates showing weakness and it takes him a whole lot to truly fully 100% be vulnerable with someone even if it’s someone close to him

he pulled a muscle in his arm and it cost him one of his swim meets

he had to go to rehab for like a month and you knew that mentally he’s been off bc of it

you try to ease talking him into telling you about how he’s really feeling but he just kept dodging the subject

one night after one of his rehab sessions, he came back to your place and you’re just like

“hey bubbie, how was rehab? how are you doing?”

and he just snaps at you: stop asking me how I am, y/n, it’s getting really annoying

you’re taken aback, like what the fuck where did that come from?

your eyebrows furrow and you cross your arms bc you are not going to get spoken to like that

“so me worrying about you and wondering how your recovery’s going is annoying? that’s what a partner is supposed to do, moon bin. what’s going on with you?”

bin: you’re being suffocating! it’s the only thing you ask me about nowadays, sometimes I—

oh boy you got mad

you: I ask you because I know you’re not telling me things! I know you’re suffering by yourself and I want to let you know that I’m here for you, I want to help take some of the pain away or at least help you deal with it because I’m your partner! but how can I if you can’t even let me in?? we’re fucking dating moon bin, we’re supposed to go through rough times together. and you call me suffocating...?

bin’s silent and he’s looking at the floor

you sigh, tears are building in your eyes because you’re frustrated and a bit hurt by what he said, and your voice cracks when you speak again: if i’m suffocating you, then you should leave. text me or something when you can breathe again, I don’t know.

there’s a bit of spite in your words, hidden by the pain

bin sees the tears rolling down your cheeks and that’s when he knows he fucked up

he’s never seen you cry before—besides like from a sad movie or something

so like the fact that he made you cry and hurt you with his words? damn he hates himself rn

he immediately wraps his arms around you, and you like try to push him to get away bc why is he hugging you? didn’t he just say that you were suffocating? why is he confusing

bin: baby, I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have taken out my frustrations on you, you’re not suffocating me I promise...you’re right about everything, I should be sharing things with you and telling you how I’m really feeling...I’m sorry.

you don’t say anything and just like sniffle and he picks you up and brings you to your bedroom and then he just lets it all out

he tells you how rehab is hard and like yeah his muscle pain is going away, but he doesn’t know if he can swim as fast as he used to and that scares him

and he tells you that sometimes he’s thought of giving up swimming since his injury, but then he thinks of you and that’s how he’s still going through with rehab

you’re his motivator and comfort but he doesn’t want to show you his weak side bc he hates that part of himself

and at this point, bin starts tearing up and you’re like stroking his hair to try and comfort him

bin: I’m not good at telling my feelings baby...probably why I didn’t tell you I liked you until 4 months later...but I promise I’ll work harder and at least try and tell them to you.

ugh pain

anyway your communication with serious things got better after that encounter

eunbi finding out that you and bin argued and he made you cry and she literally punched his stomach

you: omg eunbi stop

bin: it’s okay...I sorta deserved that

eunbi: why...are you not swearing at me? shit, bin are you okay?

he nods to the girl and just puts an arm around your shoulder: we talked things through, don’t worry. I’m all good now, but I did deserve that punch because I hurt y/n when I promised you I wouldn’t

bin ends up having a full recovery and bam his first swim meet after he got the clear from the PT, he gets first place again

all the boys and you and eunbi were there supporting him

bin was hella nervous before the meet started, but you gave him a little good luck kiss and was like: I believe in you bub, no matter the result, as long as you give it your all and don’t hurt yourself again, you’ll be the winner to me :)

this was actually when the first “i love you” was said

after your little pep talk in the locker room, bin’s just hugging you and holding you for comfort

and he just went out with it

“I love you y/n”

you blush hella hard bc you were not expecting that

obviously you’ve been feeling it like yeah your feelings for bin have grown into love for a while now

you just bury your face in his chest and hug him tighter

“I love you too binnie, now go get em bub.”

he smiles and kisses you and tells you that he’ll see you after the meet is over

you come back to the crowd where the boys and eunbi are and you just have a huge smile on your face, you’re literally glowing

myungjun: please tell me you guys didn’t fuck before his swim meet

speaking of fucking

okay let’s get down and dirty ladies and gents wink wonk mmm grr bark bark

bin is so sexy y’all like i dont need to tell you that

he’s 100% a tease

you have a little muscle kink hehe

which bin very much uses to his advantage

if bin is wearing a sleeveless shirt, you bet he wants to smash that day

will walk around shirtless after a shower or after a workout just to turn you on and then depending on his mood, he might tease you for like an hour or you’ll just get right to it

he’s very proud of his body and the work he put into it and knowing that you get turned on from one look of it?? gives him an ego boost, he loves it

one time at a party, he wore a crop top (mm hello bad idea bin) and you literally went feral

you dragged him inside the nearest bathroom and just started making out

he’s an ass guy

...all of astro are ass guys, it’s just obvious with how much they slap each other’s asses and poke each other’s assholes

okay you know how he’s touchy right? i mentioned that earlier

he always wants you on his lap

even if there’s a space available, nope your seat is his thighs

ofc when the situation allows, like you’re not gonna sit on his lap in class duh

most of the time in public like if you’re hanging out with the boys or something, it’s innocent

but if he wants to be a tease, he’ll literally just tighten his grip on your hips and grind you down onto his cock

subtle, he won’t straight up thrust into you

just enough to get his dick stirring and make you feel the outline of it through your pants

and then he just stops and hugs your waist again?? wtf

his major’s exercise science right? will ask if he can practice on you for anatomy and physiology, but you know after touching you in a couple places, y’all will just end up fucking

likes to bite and mark

very proud seeing the hickeys he leaves on you

you can bite, but you can’t bruise, idk his upper body is exposed a lot bc swimming so you can’t really leave any marks on him unless it’s the off season

foreplay’s cool, but he prefers the main event, he just wants to be in you

as much as he loves doggy, his fav position is the hook

(it’s when your legs are on his shoulders ohoho and it just lets him fuck you in a deeper angle mmm)

also in the hook, he can choke you

if i have a choking kink, you have a choking kink

okay little tangent, choking is so hot?

like just imagine you and bin are making out, he pushed you against the wall, literally grinding his hips into you, and his hand just comes up and squeezes your throat? that’s so sexy

likes butt stuff oops

i don’t make the rules, he just does

daddy kink, but no power play

will not degrade you (even if you really just want him to call you his dirty slut) bc he really values seeing you as equals

seeing your face when you cum is a must

almost always: you cumming → bin cumming

nothing gets him off more than knowing that he’s making you feel good

after !! care !!

sweetest boy!!

will clean you up with a warm towel after sex

and if you’re one of my ladies, he will always remind you to pee so that you don’t get a UTI

if y’all had a marathon or something, he will draw a bath and carry you to the bathroom and you will bathe together, so soft

always ends sex with an i love you :’)

okay let’s get back to the soft stuff

special thing about swimmer bin: pool dates

sometimes when he’s practicing and it’s just him, he asks you to come to the aquatic center and you two end up splashing around and being cute together

he like knew that you were the one for him some time during senior year

it was the holidays and his parents invited you to spend christmas with their family since your parents were out of the country this break

his parents and sister liked you immediately—which you were so scared about, but bin just knew

you woke up early christmas eve (and bin was out like a rock) so you just went downstairs to brew some coffee or something and you saw that his mom was already starting on making food

naturally, you offered your help and she was like no, you’re a guest y/n, but obviously you started helping

bin comes downstairs like an hour or two later to see you, his mom, and his dad just cooking and listening to christmas music and talking and his heart just like swells??

you: morning binnie :)

his mom: how can you be sleeping when y/n’s here helping us with christmas dinner

his dad: what kind of boyfriend are you, son?

just kidding all jokes

but that’s the moment when he knew

best boyfriend bin ugh

he becomes a legend in the school for swimming

but doesn’t continue after college, he’s all about becoming a physical trainer after graduation

he goes to grad school, while you’re out working in business

bin moves in with you after graduating, it was the obvious next step

you do talk about the future together, but obviously bin’s still in school and you’re both fresh from undergrad so there’s no rush yet to tie the knot

doesn’t stop his or your parents from talking to you two about marriage tho oops

ugh but the domesticity after bin moves in with you? superb

like yeah obviously you both basically lived together anyway when he still roomed with eunwoo just from how much you and him spent at each other’s places

but like your apartment is now both of your place and it’s like your home is finally complete

your apartment becomes the reunion place for the boys and eunbi

at this point everyone knew you and bin were gonna get married eventually

eunwoo and eunbi: we did that ;)

and that’s how you and your college bf!bin live happily ever after uwu

happy birthday binnie moonbob ♥

1-25-21

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uwuwriting · 4 years

Text

Kenma, Kuroo and Nishinoya finding a pregnancy test

Request: mmmkay, so quarantines got me watching an unhealthy amount of anime, so could i please request kuroo, kenma, and nishinoya finding their fem SO pregnancy tests hidden in their shared bathroom? Thank you! love your writing i cant get enough!❤️❤️❤️ - anonymous

Another pregnancy request? YES PLEASE I LIVE FOR THESE. THEY WATER MY CROPS AND CLEAR MY SKIN. It don’t matter for which fandom it is, a pregnancy and/or domestic request is always a good one. If i get carried away it’s not my fault I can’t help it. Love yaa.💖💖💖

rules

warnings: fluff mainly, maybe some sprinkle of angst on Kenma’s but nothing major

Kozume Kenma

-You two have been living together for 3 years now.

-Being in a happy relationship since your third year of high school and then going to the same university, your lives were bound to one another.

-You weren’t married and it didn’t really bother you.

-Your friends would jokingly call you Mrs. Kozume and Kenma never denied it, he would usually just wrap an arm around your waist and bring you closer to him.

-So when you discussed kids it was a shocker.

- “I know we are not married and all, if you want to do that first that’s fine I have no problem with that it’s just that....have you seen how Hinata is with his little girl?”

-You had seen how happy Hinata was with his daughter.

-She was a few months old but he was so deeply in love with her.

-And you had seen how Kenma looked at them interact.

- “Okay let’s try, but no vlogging our journey or some shit!”

-You hadn’t seen him agree to something so fast in your life.

-That was about a year and a half ago.

-It has been a hectic ride and a disheartening one at that.

-You had a miscarriage earlier last year and after that you hadn’t managed to conceive again.

-At first you panicked, believing that after that misfortune something broke inside of you and you wouldn’t be able to have a child after all.

-But Kenma, being the calm one in your relationship, took you to a doctor who said that your body was just in shock and you would be able to carry a child.

- “Just give your body some time to rest.”

-It has been five months since that and now you are standing in the middle of your bathroom staring at the pregnancy test in your hands.

-Positive.

-You wanted to squeal and cry at the same time, maybe laugh a little.

-Kenma was setting up his computer to start a stream.

-One that he and 99.9% of his fans had requested to see you in.

-You had been in Kenma’s videos multiple times both on stream and on YouTube.

-Placing the pregnancy test in the cabinet near the sink you walked out and went to Kenma.

-You would tell him after this, give yourself time to control your excitement.

-The stream was going well, you were answering questions *some of them had been asked before but you answered none the less* and giggling along side Kenma as he started telling the story of your failed date at the zoo.

-A monkey had tried to take the flower that he had given you and it bit you in its attempts to take it.

-At some point Kenma got up and went to the bathroom and you were left alone with the fans showing them some of your favorite pictures.

-While you were enjoying the stream Kenma was having a heart attack.

-He had opened the cabinet to get some tissues you stored there and came face to face with the pregnancy test.

-The positive pregnancy test.

-You were pregnant? AND DIDN’T TELL HIM?

-What if it ended like the last pregnancy?

-Oh god he wouldn’t be able to pull out of there this time.

-Your laughter rang through the apartment and reached his ears, breaking his train of thought and bringing him back to reality.

-Walking slowly towards the room his saw you with your back turned towards the door talking to the camera at his fans.

-Right he was on a stream.

-It didn’t matter.

- “Y/N...this is real right?”

-Turning around you saw him in the doorway, head hanging low looking at the stick in his hands his hair framing his features completely.

- “Kenmaaaa I wanted it to be a surprise!!!”

-The chat was on fire as Kenma closed the distance between you hugging you tightly before he placed you in his lap and announced that you would be welcoming another Kozume in the world.

- “And no I won’t be vlogging anything!!!”

Kuroo Tetsuro

-He married you right after he finished university.

-You had known each other since your first year of high school but began dating during freshman year in university.

-Kuroo now an esteemed doctor loved calling you by his last name, it felt unreal.

-It didn’t long for him to start imagining an even more domesticated life with you.

-You worked at the same hospital as a nurse and you usually could be found in the kids ward.

-You were always great with kids, making the laugh and helping them stop crying.

-What did it for him was when you were helping at the new born section and you were cooing at a baby, looking so soft and happy holding the small human that he wanted to have a baby right then and there.

-He saw you again there helping a mother feed her baby and it felt just right.

-On the ride home he popped the question.

- “I saw you having fun in the new born isle today.”

- “Those babies are just too cute, Tetsu!!”

- “Yeah, seeing you got me thinking what our kids would look like.”

-He was trying to play it cool, but you saw right through him.

- “Real smooth Tetsu.”

-Little did he know though that you had already taken three pregnancy test this morning all coming out positive.

-You had left them on the bathroom counter because you were already late.

- ‘I need to hide them, make it a surprise.’

-The drive to your shared apartment was full of laughs and Kuroo’s poor sense of humor.

-It was dad jokes.

-He was practicing his dad jokes.

-Surprisingly he didn’t pressure you on the matter of kids.

- “We’ll talk about it later.”

-He had a small pout on his lips but he soon changed the subject.

-Arriving home you went to place the groceries but you didn’t balance them right and the milk carton fell on Kuroo.

-There was milk everywhere.

-On the floor, on Kuroo, some of it was on you, on the counter.

- “Way to go kitten....”

-He made his way to the bathroom to throw his clothes into the washer and wash his hands.

-Then he noticed the three sticks on the counter.

-Curiousity killed the cat.

-And Kuroo is cat.

-He has been a cat since high school.

-Looking at the sticks it took him some time to realize what they were.

-His eyes widened at the realization.

-Why didn’t you tell him???

-He was panicking ever so slightly, his breathing becoming erratic.

-Well he wanted to start a family with you didn’t he?

-After a few minutes of breathing exercises he still couldn’t decide if he should start jumping up and down from his giddiness or panic some more.

-You on the other hand had juts finished putting the things away and mopping the milk off the floor.

- “What is he doing in there?”

-You know how I said that you wanted your pregnancy to be a surprise?

-And how you wanted to hide the tests before he found them?

-Yeah you forgot and because you were dumb it took you some time to put two and two together.

-Sprinting to the bathroom you flung the door open coming face to face with a wide eyes Kuroo holding the test in his hands.

- “Surprise?”

-He looked at you, opening his mouth and then closing it not being able to find the right words.

-Then he was hugging you.

-He was lifting you off the ground and laughing/sobbing in your ear.

- “Thank you thank you thank you thank you.”

-Now you were sobbing too.

-The rest of the night was spent with you on the couch surrounded by blankets and snacks, while Kuroo did everything.

-He made dinner, he helped you undress and put on your PJs, all in all he wouldn’t let you lift a finger.

-He’s just so damn happy he can barely contain it.

-Next day at the hospital he was bragging to everyone and their mothers about your pregnancy.

Nishinoya Yuu

-Em he’s baby?

-Like literally.

-Living with him is like living with a five year old.

-And god forbid Tanaka comes to visit.

-Now you’re babysitting two five year olds.

-Anyways.

-Noya our sweet sweet libero here, wanted to marry you since high school.

-He even proposed while you two were in your third year.

-They had just won a very difficult game and he was on cloud 9.

-You had gone down to congradulate them on their win and give a few victory smooches to your boyfriend when you were tackled to the floor by a very sweaty Noya.

- “Y/N BABY DID YOU SEE ME????”

- “Yes I did, babe.”

- “I’M SO HAPPY I COULD MARRY YOU RIGHT NOW!”

-Awkward silence.

-He didn’t even look sorry after he said it.

-It didn’t sound like it slipped either.

- “What I am going to marry you so why don’t we do it now?”

-Fast forward five years and he truly kept his promise.

-You two share a nice apartment and are living a happy life.

-Not a peaceful one.

-Peace is not an option with Noya.

-Come on...

-You two hadn’t really talked about children but you knew he was great with kids.

-You saw how he got whenever your nephew and niece came to visit.

-He would be so playful with them but simultaneously protective and careful which was surprising because well he was Nishinoya.

-So when you started feeling sick one morning your first thought was to take a pregnancy test.

-You see Noya em likes to feel free....if you know you know.

-When the test came out positive you were both excited and nervous.

-What if he didn’t want kids?

-What if he left?

-Noya would never leave you and he would insist you went through every difficult situation together as team but you weren’t in the best state of mind at the moment.

-You were drawn out of your thoughts when his voice rang through the apartment.

- “Babe, Tanaka is here could you get the door?”

-Leaving everything as it was in the bathroom you went to open the door.

-your brain was running on autopilot.

-You had no brain cells to spare at the moment okay??

- “Heyyyyy Y/N how are you?????”

-And so the game night the two of them had planned began.

-You were making dinner waiting for Tanaka’s girlfriend to arrive so you can talk about your little revelation.

-And yes Tanaka has a girlfriend who is indeed Kiyoko.

-As you were cutting some vegetables, Tanaka stood up and went to the bathroom and at the same moment the door bell rang.

-Not even two seconds passed before you heard screeching form the bathroom.

-You had opened the door and were greeting Kiyoko when you remembered the state you left the bathroom in.

- “YUU HOLY SHIT WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU BASTARD?”

- “TELL YOU WHAT YOU IDIOT?”

- “THAT YOU’RE A DAD WHAT ELSE?”

-Le silence.

-Kiyoko was looking from your stomach to the pregnancy test Tanaka had thrown at Nishinoya.

- “I’M A WHAT???????????”

-Chaos ensued.

-Noya was talking frantically with you and asking you about when you found out, why you didn’t tell him etc while Tanaka was being scolded by Kiyoko for ruining your surprise.

-It was a very eventful night to say the least.

-But a happy one nonetheless.

TAG TEAM AY: @brattyquirks @the-arcana-fan-fic @angelwritings @reinyrei @axerrri

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gutsygay · 4 years

Text

Stuffing Story: “Daniel Gets His Fill”

Hieee 👋presenting my first kink fiction story, just a couple college guys getting stuffed.

Features stuffing, overeating, tummy rumbles, burps, and tummy rubs.

SOOOO um hope y’all like it 👉👈🥺

“

“And that about wraps it up for today! Don’t forget chapter four homework due Monday.” the professor said, dismissing the class.

Daniel grinned, hopped from his seat and headed toward the lecture hall door. He was an active type, and hated to sit still for long periods. As he waited for the crowd of his classmates to shuffle through the door ahead of him, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the nearby glass bookcase. He was average height, with tan skin, broad shoulders and large thighs. He was muscular and lean, save for a bit of a belly protruding from the very bottom of his abdomen, which he could never quite seem to work off, or even to tuck away completely when he wanted to hide his pudge.

Daniel didn’t care though. His main passions were eating, and working it off with strenuous exercise. His energy seemed boundless, but none more than his appetite was bottomless. At the time he wanted nothing more than a full rack of ribs and some buffalo wings. But at the same time he already had energy to expend as well. He wavered about how he’d spend the afternoon when his friend Nick called to him from across the hall, settling his silent debate.

“Yo Danny! We hitting the gym or what?” Nick said with a toothy grin.

“Sure, bro.” Daniel replied. “Leg day today, right?”

“Think so.”

“Sweet. I’ll meet you downstairs in five.” Daniel said, and headed to his car.

He grabbed his athletic clothes. He smiled to himself in anticipation of the coming activity. Soon they’d squat, lunge, press and strain their legs until they were nearly too sore to walk. He turned his thigh to the mirror he’d mounted on the inside of his locker door. His quads were already looking huge - they were getting that chiseled teardrop shape as well. As he lifted his shirt for a better view, he felt a sudden rumbling from down below. It had been nearly four hours since lunch - which was never enough for Daniel in the first place - and he was filled with nearly child-like excitement for what was to come. He thought of his favorite part of lifting - gorging himself afterward. Such a strenuous, calorie-intensive session as leg day meant he could pack it in with no shame.

He arrived at the basement gym, which was open to all resident students, but was surprisingly empty at the time. Nick was already at the squat rack - he had already set them up with a soul-crushing 315 pound squat rack.

“Alright then.” Daniel said, pumped. “Let’s hit it.”

And so they did. They grunted their way through 5 sets of squats, followed by lunges and leg presses. Then Daniel did some calf raises in the squat rack, his belly jiggling every time he descended. Some of it slipped out from under his shirt occasionally, and glistened with sweat. Daniel just rolled his eyes and tucked it back in.

When they finished, Nick lifted his shirt to wipe his sweat, exposing his ab muscles. Nick looked at Daniel’s partially exposed abdominal region and smirked. “You can never seem to lose that chubby little gut, can you?” he said, poking Daniel’s flab, which was still beaded with sweat. “Nah, don’t have the willpower I guess. But I don’t care. Let’s go eat.” Daniel said.

“Sure, maybe just a salad, Danny? If you - “

Nick was cut off by a deep audible growl from Daniel’s belly. Daniel squeezed it with both hands and looked up at Nick.

“Uh, okay bro, how does Wendy’s sound?” Nick said, silenced by Daniel’s rumblings.

“I’m not feeling it. Let’s hit that new buffet instead.” Daniel said, already headed for the door. Nick followed, knowing his friend was now less of a freshman undergrad and more of a beast in search of prey.

They showered down, got back into school clothes and jumped into Daniel’s car. Daniel usually offered Nick a ride back to his apartment whenever he needed it after their afternoon lifting sessions. They headed a few blocks away from the main campus building, towards a new all-you-can-eat buffet. Daniel’s hungry stomach continued to growl louder, but he simply turned up the car stereo to drown it out.

After what seemed like an eternity, Daniel and Nick pulled into the buffet. They walked in and the greeter happily showed them a booth, but the restaurant owner behind her pursed his lips upon seeing Daniel and Nick, visibly ravenous. They had already twice visited the fairly-new establishment. This kid’s gonna drive me out of business, he thought to himself. That orifice must eat his weight in food once a week.

They claimed their booth seats, and beelined to the buffet area. Daniel grabbed a plate and loaded it with buffalo wings (honey barbecue AND blue cheese), meat loaf, a bacon cheeseburger, quesadillas and a pepperoni calzone. The plate must’ve weighed nearly a pound, and Daniel was practically drooling on the way back to the table.

“Jeez, got enough there, bro?” Nick asked as they sat down, but Daniel was already stuffing his face.

“Nnnf, mm!” Daniel forced a reply.

“Never, huh?” Nick asked.

He watched as Daniel tore into the bacon cheeseburger, engulfing nearly a third of it in one bite. In well under a minute he’d downed the whole thing. Daniel grinned wordlessly at Nick while chewing the last bite, and quickly swallowed before promptly moving on to the meat loaf, followed by the chicken wings.

Jeez, does he ever slow down to breathe? Nick thought to himself. And I feel like he’s just getting started. Nick ate a few bites of his ham slices, and mac and cheese on the side. When he looked back up, Daniel’s buffalo wings had been reduced to six picked-clean bones piled up on the plate, being drenched with grease dripping from Daniel’s calzone. Nick watched as Daniel’s eyes rolled back slightly and closed with pleasure every time he swallowed. He’s enjoying it. It’s like sex on a plate to him! he thought.

Daniel finished the 3 quesadilla slices, and pressed a napkin to his mouth. And then he burped. He tried to quiet it, but his hand and the napkin did little to muffle the rumbling gas that burbled up and out of him. It lasted nearly 5 seconds in all, and Nick could even feel the vibration through the table.

“You good, dude?” Nick asked.

“Uh, ‘scuse me, heh heh.” Daniel wiped his mouth and rolled his eyes, trying and failing to play off his prior eruption.

“Damn dude, you really put that shit away.” Nick gestured to the now empty plate before him.

“What can I say? I’m hungry as fuck.”

“You mean you were hungry as fuck.”

“I dunno man, that belch freed up some room.” Daniel said, patting his stomach. His belly had always been a little large, or at least proportionally big compared to the rest of his body, but now it was visibly distended. More? How could he possibly still be hungry? Nick wondered, and watched as he purposefully strolled back to the buffet line. He had just packed away more than 3000 calories as if it were nothing. Nick couldn’t help but feel intimidated, yet drawn to Daniel’s ability to consume like some kind of alpha male.

By the end of it, Daniel had downed a second plate. And a third. And a shish-kabob. And not one, but two bowls of ice cream for dessert.

Daniel polished off the second bowl, and released another burp, not even trying to muzzle it this time. Nick sat in awe. He himself had managed two plates and a scoop of ice cream, but his dishes were nowhere near as heavily packed as Daniel’s.

“Oof, I think I’m about ready to put a cork in it, bro.” Daniel said, fiddling with his pants belt.

He stood up, revealing his overstuffed abdomen. In the past hour it had taken them to eat, it had grown from a miniscule, doughy bump to a basketball-sized food baby. They headed out to the parking lot, and Daniel lifted his shirt to give his belly a little massage. Nick couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“So that’s where you put it all.” Nick said, blank-faced, and finding himself weirdly intrigued by this bodily transformation.

Daniel turned to face Nick. He burped again, managing to muffle it into a low hiss this time, and replied, “I’m not a bottomless pit after all, haha. It’s gotta go somewhere, y’know.” He looked down at Nick, grinning, and gently patted the underside of his bloat to make it jiggle.

“Uh, yeah, heh heh.” Nick replied, watching his friend’s flab bounce.

“Hey, you want to come over and hang for a while? That anime you like came out on Netflix.” Daniel offered.

“Yeah, sure! I’d love to let it hang out with you. Er, hang out with you.” Nick said. An unexplainable chill ran through him.

They hopped back in Daniel’s car and headed off to his apartment. Nick kept glancing over toward Daniel, still in disbelief at the size of his stomach. In the intermittent illumination from passing streetlamps, he saw it bulging and spilling out in between the seat belt straps. He also saw the physique of the rest of Daniel’s body - his arms and chest were defined, and his quads were still bulging from the prior workout. His left arm was fully extended, lazily gripping the top of the steering wheel, his other resting sandwiched between his thigh and his belly flab.

When they arrived at Daniel’s apartment, they went to his couch, turned on the TV, and waited for the streaming service to connect.

“Whoof!” Daniel exhaled, as he collapsed onto the couch. He reclined in the corner with the armrest and the back cushion, and extended one hand behind his head, the other poking his abdomen again. “Heh heh, maybe I overdid it.”

“Nahhh,” Nick said absentmindedly, staring at Daniel’s gut.

“Uh, don’t you think so?” Daniel grinned, raising an eyebrow.

Nick realized what he’d responded with, and simply blushed.

“Yo, I’m about to burst, jeez.” Daniel lifted his shirt further and fumbled with his belt. “I gotta undo this, I’m dying. You’re cool with that, right?” Daniel said, popping his belt buckle open.

Nick paused, still staring, and said, “D-Do what you gotta do, man.”

Daniel’s exposed belly shone in the soft light of the television. He gripped the button of his jeans, pulled with a grunt, “Unnnh!” and popped open the waist of his pants, sinking backward into the cushions as he did so, as if overcome with relief. He pulled down his zipper, and the lower part of his abdomen spilled out, and rested upon his thighs ever so slightly. Then he lifted his belly to grab the waistband of his underwear, and tuck it downward, so that his gut now hung out completely, unrestricted. His stomach gurgled audibly. Daniel put a hand on his chest and belched loudly. Good lord, he has no shame about this at all, he’s just sprawled out, digesting and not giving a fuck. Nick thought. He’d never experienced anything quite like this before.

“Damn, ‘scuse me, heh heh. Sorry about that.” Daniel said, his abdomen continuing to rumble periodically.

“Don’t be.” Nick said quickly, unsure of why he had received such a feeling of satisfaction from someone else’s burp.

Just then, the streaming service loaded, and Daniel leaned forward to pick up the TV remote, and let out a slight groan, the sides of his belly folding into rolls as he did so. Daniel gripped the remote with both hands and said, “This dumb thing doesn’t work right, I need to get it fixed. The show won’t play unless you hold the On-Demand and Play buttons at the same time, for the first few minutes.”

Daniel reclined again and held the two buttons, extending both hands toward the TV, further exposing his belly in his lap. The theme song of the aging anime started on the screen. The catchy, angelic tune emanated from the TV, but wasn’t enough to muffle further rumbling from Daniel’s stomach.

Daniel looked down at it between his arms. “Ugh, it’s sitting in me like a rock. I really gotta burp again.”

Nick was fixated on Daniel, not paying a moment of attention to the anime on the TV. “H-heh, bet you could use a belly rub right now.”

“Ugh, you know it, bro.” Daniel replied.

Nick paused for a long while, staring at Daniel’s plump gut, resting in his lap. “You know… I guess, maybe, if you wanted to, I could rub your belly for you.”

Daniel looked over at Nick, and let out a soft chuckle.

Nick stuttered, nervous he’d made things weird. “I-I mean, uh, since your hands are full, and like-”

“Sure, bro. Come on over.” Daniel said smiling.

“Uh, seriously? I mean, okay.” Nick said warily.

“Yeah man, what else are bros for? Also I’m dying over here, I’ve never been this bloated.” Daniel reassured him, as Nick slid toward his end of the couch. “If I could get a quick massage down there that would be great.” Daniel reclined, and turned his body toward Nick slightly.

Nick rubbed his hands together to warm them, and gazed upon Daniel’s rumbling, distended tummy. In the low light from the television, he could see that it had bulged from under his ribcage, giving the top an almost triangular shape, but became sublimely rounded closer to his navel, and at the underbelly, which spilled between the zipper of his jeans and onto his thighs. There was almost no hair on his tummy, save for a light sprinkling of peach fuzz surrounding his navel, and trailing downward towards his manhood. His belly button, which Nick had earlier seen to protrude slightly outward, had all but disappeared into the newly chubbier, squishy mass of belly.

Nick hesitated to take in the sight up close. “Y-you ready?” he looked up at Daniel.

“Go ahead, bro.” Daniel replied with a smile.

Gingerly, Nick placed a hand - starting with the fingertips - atop Daniel’s belly, and he could feel the warmth and softness of his exposed skin. He placed his other hand on it as well - the fingers wrapped around the side of his belly, while the thumb lightly gripped in Daniel’s sunken navel. He slowly pressed into the soft skin until it reached a point and became firmer, the bloat caused by all the food. Nick blushed and remembered that he was giving a massage, not just feeling his friend for pleasure.

Nick began to press more firmly and move his hands in a slow, rhythmic motion surrounding Daniel’s navel.

“Like this?”

“Almost.” Daniel replied, his eyes closing in bliss.

Nick continued, pressing firmer still, and re-orienting himself on the couch to press and knead from different angles. Nick could still feel Daniel’s stomach rumbling about, working away at the mass of food. Periodically Daniel would let out a small burp, and Nick could feel the vibrations starting deep within his friend’s body, and burbling up and out. Nick wondered what kind of relief he was bringing his friend, if Daniel’s tummy was faring any better due to the massages and release of gas.

“Move your right hand down a little.” Daniel instructed. Nick slid his hand down below the navel, closer to Daniel’s left leg.

“Unh, down more. And press.” Daniel said, sounding almost desperate.

Nick obeyed, his hand now brushing against the front of Daniel’s jeans, and the waist of his underwear. He pressed harder in this lower area, under the stomach, and felt something shift, as if he’d freed up some mass deep within Daniel’s swollen gut.

“Right there, that’s it -” Daniel started, before he was cut off by a sudden, intense rumble, followed by the loudest burp Nick had ever heard. Nick’s head was positioned right near the top of Daniel’s abdominal area, and he could hear the massive expulsion of gas, and feel the tummy deflating. The burp lasted nearly a full ten seconds, and Nick looked up at Daniel, chuckling.

“Man, you feel any better after that?” he asked.

Daniel hesitated to catch his breath, “Yes, oh my God, I needed that.” he said, groaning. Daniel set down the remote, as the show was playing properly now.

At this point Nick was in acceptance that he was aroused by all this, and continued softly massaging Daniel’s gut, which was finally settled, more or less. Nick prodded experimentally around Daniel’s belly button, curious if he could help his friend release additional pressure. Daniel rewarded his friend’s work with several more burps, each bringing him blissful relief as the pressure in his gut gradually decreased. Finally, Daniel’s stomach was settled, and Nick felt the mass beginning to move downward into the lower intestines.

“Thank you, bro. That felt amazing.” Daniel said, grinning as he looked down at Nick, whose hands were still feeling his belly.

“My pleasure!” Nick replied with a toothy grin. He realized that seeing his friend stuffed, and helping him through tummy trouble, made him feel a delight he’d never experienced before. He stayed still, save for his hands, waiting for Daniel to say he’d done enough. But it seemed to Nick that his friend was just letting him stay there, his hands on his tummy, for as long as he wanted.

Eventually Nick fell asleep, his head on Daniel’s lap, and he listened to the last remaining soft gurgles from deep within his friend’s tummy as he drifted off. Daniel soon found himself nodding off as well, in an irresistible food coma, his hand resting on Nick’s back. He fell asleep, happily dreaming of tomorrow’s breakfast.

“

And that’s that, hope y’all enjoyed 😅

#stuffing #overeating #gassy #gassy belly #tummy troubles #burp #tummy rub #tummy rumbles #gurgle #belly rubs #belch #gutsygay #original

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elsannabackwardsposts · 3 years

Text

Bonus Feature (apology for the chapter delay)

I think this was a requested Bonus prompt from a long while back. Posting as a little apology for the delay in getting out Chapter 40 Part 1. :)

Flynn POV; Mid-Chapter 12 time frame

“Hey, Elsa,” waved the boy from across the lobby of the campus’ business building. The blonde woman turned her attention from her notebook, curiously looking up from where she sat on the cushioned bench. With a smile, the brunet plopped down beside her, backpack falling at his side. “Got a minute?”

Raising a brow, Elsa nodded, making one more pencil mark in her notebook, filled to the brim with print outs of what looked like a class’ power-point slides. Once the book was closed, resting on her lap, pencil fit through its coiled binding for safe keeping, she turned her head to face her underclassmen.

Taking the acknowledgment as her means for him to continue, he sighed. “I need some ‘dating’ advice..” He had caught the widening of blue eyes, and although already knowing the real reason behind why the older rower held such a surprised reaction, he played it off innocently. Running a hand through his loose bangs, he sighed, shrugging his arm. “I know. Me, of all people. Crazy.”

When he glanced toward the Senior again, he noticed that she’d schooled her look back to that of a more controlled expression; one which matched her soft voice. “I don’t know how much of a help I’ll be on this..”

He waved his hand. “Don’t sweat it. I just don’t really know how to approach this one girl. None of my usual ideas are working..” He let his gaze fall, hand absently raising to scratch the nape of his neck. “She’s on the team, which may be why it’s harder. I’ve never, ya know, dated on the team before.” Flynn knew it wasn’t the greatest way to pose this question, but really, he didn’t know what else to do.

“You know how I feel about dating teammates, Flynn..” Elsa said quietly, having turned her eyes away solemnly, a bit of warning in how she spoke his name.

“Yeah, I know..” he said apologetically with a sigh, lulling his head for an instant before locking his honey-hued gaze on her. “But you’re also filled with wisdom that I don’t have,” he said, trying to give a cheeky face, although feeling the sincerity slip a little too much into his words. It did seem to give the blonde a pause before looking back at him with a bit of amusement. “Seriously though, if you were to ever go about dating again, team or not, and, hey, look. I get it, you totally won’t, but just hear me out.” The smolder was locked and loaded in his wide, pleading eyes.

The older of the two made a face, finally rolling her eyes in an exasperated manner, motioning her hand with a twirl, letting the man continue. He smiled.

“Alright, so. If you were to ask them out.. what would you suggest? Or even say?”

There was a long silence and the blonde averted her eyes. The way her expression morphed into a pensive gaze gave away the fact that she was just taking her time to really think about the question. So Flynn casually pulled his leg up to his lap, relaxing back into the seat, prepared to wait patiently for his quiet friend’s response.

“I’d make sure to remind her of the importance of putting crew and studies before a relationship.” The young captain groaned, lifting his eyes dryly to the ceiling with a long blink. Elsa frowned at his reaction. “What? It is very important to get that out of the way in the beginning,” she stated firmly.

Hanging his head, Flynn nodded, voice defeated, but tinged with a delicate sadness more than anything. “Yeah, I know..” Seriously. What else did he really expect from the lone woman? After all she had been through, of course she would opt to make sure every one else was warry, not wanting to see anyone else get all caught up in feelings only for it to all end painfully. But he could appreciate it fully all the same, because no doubt Elsa would not offer this advice, one learned so deeply due to cuts in her own heart, up to many others, if any others, but him.

Tucking a strand of flaxen hair behind her ear, Elsa softened her look. A few thoughtful seconds later, she gently added, “Just.. keep showing her that you care; that you respect her. Be yourself. Honesty is what means the most to everyone.”

Turning, seeing the gentle look cross his childhood friend’s face, the boy felt himself inhale, just in the slightest, just because of seeing the glimpse of ease emanating behind sapphire eyes for the first time in a long time. Unable to handle the elated emotion of seeing the Senior finally melt, even if in the slightest, in a highly delicate moment which could be easily ruined if he harped on her heart’s submission, or made mention of it at all, he instead played it off in the best Flynn way possible. He made an ugly face.

“Ugh, that’s it?” He closed his eyes, tilting his nose up. “No offense, but that really is girly advice.”

“Full offense,” Elsa genuinely laughed, hand shoving the boy’s shoulder lightly as he grinned back. “If you didn’t want a woman’s input, why did you not ask your guy friends?”

Flynn rubbed the light scruff of his beard. “I don’t talk about this ‘touchy-feely’ stuff with most people. And Hans is never around anymore since he’s so busy with Anna. I really didn’t have anyone else.” His honey colored eyes fell to the side, noticing how Elsa had looked down to her hands again. He blanched, realizing his words. Shit. “Ah..! I know you two don’t get along, sorry for bringing him up.”

But the girl shook her head. “No, it’s fine.” Her blonde brows furrowed in a strange way, as if there was a hint of confusion and some sort of disdain intermingling in her emotion. “Honestly, sometimes I forget that they’re together, so thanks for reminding me.”

Something about the way she said that made Flynn pause. He honestly couldn’t really comment much, as the young couple always seemed to hang out outside of crew practice; only a handful of sparse remote moments could be recalled of the two giving off romantic vibes at the boathouse or after a race. Maybe Anna wasn’t the type to talk about her relationships very much with her teammates, airing away from typical PDA-type antics. Or maybe the Freshman was discreet enough and careful of Elsa’s feelings to not bring up the boy in conversation (as Flynn had just absentmindedly done here), effectively keep Hans out of Elsa’s mind.

He hoped it was the latter. From what he had begun to observe, the rowing pair had seemed to have a good mesh, even noticing a bit of brightness returning to his best female friend as the fall season began to roll into early winter. If Anna was that considerate of Elsa’s feelings, she was definitely a good person who’d treat her friendship with Elsa well, prioritizing the gentle soul over the novelty of a boyfriend.

His eyes scanned the Senior once more, noticing something else in her eyes; a distance usually reserved for her pensive thoughts. A place she’d fallen in and out of periodically as her years at university rolled on, usually when reflecting on her race performances and, if ever another person, it would be her Ex.. But this expression was never offered regarding the auburn haired Junior boy. So, given the conversation, did that mean it was the talk of Anna who had triggered the look this time?

Blinking, Flynn held his breath instantly as the connection was made, looking at the stoic woman with a new eye. Her expression paired with her previous reaction at the couple’s mention. His brain was suddenly pulling up images from before; her reaction Halloween night, the way every time he recently messaged her she happened to be studying or exercising with Anna. Nowadays, everything that he knew of Elsa revolved around Anna. When had that happened?

Could it be that she..?

Does Elsa actually have feelings for..?

Blue eyes were suddenly on him, narrowed. “What are you looking at?” asked the woman tersely, a frown on her lips, making Flynn startle.

“Ah, sorry, thinking of, um, you know, how I can go about wooing my lady.” He grinned sheepishly.

Sitting forward, he watched as Elsa slipped her notebook into her backpack and sat up straight, sliding her satchel strap over her shoulder. For a moment, the Junior Captain thought the woman was about to stand and take her leave, but instead, she stayed still, a pale hand lingering on the strap.

“Hey, um..” Flynn was looking directly at the porcelain face which was turned downward, gaze locked on the brilliant tile floor. “What about studying together and hanging out afterwards at your place?”

The boy blinked and tilted his head. “Huh?”

Elsa made a small grimace barely visible in her side profile. “A suggestion for you and her.. to get closer.”

The Starboard rower brought his palm beneath his chin as he leaned forward, eyes still watching the Senior. “Huh. Well, we don’t have any classes together, but maybe that’d work.” He looked to the high vaulted ceilings and the gorgeous chandelier overhead and smiled. “Yeah. Study date and a movie. Sounds like a plan!”

This time, the blonde looked at him. “Why a movie in particular?”

He laughed good-naturedly. “It’s the perfect ‘hang out’ excuse to blur the lines of a friendly date. Even if nothing happens, or if conversation lulls, you can at least extend your time with the other person and quietly enjoy it that way.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t have to be a Netflix and chill deal.”

The Senior slowly nodded in understanding at his response, if not also scrunching her nose in confusion at the final weird phrasing he had chosen, before finally standing and bidding a farewell. Flynn reciprocated in kind and watched his blonde friend head off toward the glass-walled entrance of the building.

He leaned back, arms crossing against his chest with a smirk.

Despite his excellent acting skills revealing the total opposite, Flynn himself did not miss the subtle implications hanging in the blonde’s suggestion, nor how there was an honest curiosity in hearing his interpretation of why a movie could be a nice transitional date option. He really hoped he had worded the idea optimally enough. And although he certainly was down to implement it in his own endeavors, with what he had assumingly discovered regarding the elusive woman’s heart, he hoped he would not be the only one picking out a movie this week..

#Bonus Feature #elsanna backwards

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moldisgoodforyou · 4 years

Text

give a little: chapter one (jj maybank x oc)

MASTERLIST

not my gif! from @rudypankows

pairing: jj maybank x oc

synopsis: charlotte “charlie” walker is a rising senior at the university of south carolina, an exercise science major, a kappa, and is back in the outer banks for the summer. she’s stubborn as hell, isn’t rich enough to be a kook or poor enough to be a pogue, and is used to being in the background. she and jj both go to USC, her sorority and his frat (beta) running in the same social circles but the two rarely speak at school. things change when they run into each other at the boneyard in the summer.

warnings: drinking, swearing, mentions of sex, all characters are 21+

wordcount: 1.7k

___________________________________________________

It was the first party of the summer after Charlotte Walker returned home from her junior year at the University of South Carolina. Her internship plans didn’t work out so she resorted to working at her family’s ice cream shop at home, back in the Outer Banks, and feeling a little too reminiscent of high school. At least she still had her group of friends from home.

She was halfway to drunk, just in the mood for dancing tonight. It had been what felt like the longest week ever at work and all she wanted to do was hang out with her girls, ignoring advances from a couple Tourons.

Just as her favorite Lizzo song came on and she started dancing around with a grin, pointing and singing with her friends at the top of her lungs, she felt a strong arm thrown around her shoulders. She was two seconds away from shrugging the arm off and telling the guy to fuck off when she looked up, confusion crossing her face.

JJ Maybank, of all people, started singing along with her. He had a half-grimace, half-smile plastered on his face. They had both ended up at USC together, opting to get out of North Carolina and go for the SEC party scene. The two were casual acquaintances at best, their sorority and fraternity often sharing date parties, but they ran in different circles.

Charlotte’s best friend, Grace, shot her a questioning glance, the universal ‘do-you-need-help’ look among girls, but she just shrugged in response. “Maybank?” Charlotte questioned, taking his hand and trying to remove his arm.

He smiled wider at the nickname, keeping her hand in his and lifting it, twirling her. “Hi Charlotte -”

“Charlie,” she quickly corrected. “No one calls me Charlotte but my parents.”

“Right. Charlie. Just go with it,” he whispered near her ear before kissing her cheek chastely, his eyes trained on someone in the distance. She was so surprised that she flinched, making him chuckle.

“You’re helping me out here, Charlie, I’m not gonna hurt you.” He laughed, continuing to dance with her. Still confused, but not sober enough to question it, she just smiled and kept dancing with him, one hand still in his. She downed the rest of her beer with a slight grimace and he raised his eyebrows, impressed.

“I didn’t think you drank anything but Beta’s jungle juice,” he teased.

“I haven’t had that shit since freshman year,” she retorted.

He laughed. “Oh, but that’s not what it looked like at the Bama tailgate.”

“That was....a special circumstance.” She relented, shaking her head.

He just laughed again. “Uh-huh. Come on, let’s get more for you to drink,” he said, keeping her hand in his and pulling her through the crowd to his friends to grab her another beer out of the cooler.

JJ tugged on Charlotte’s hand to pull her down to sit in their circle. The Pogues nodded and smiled at her in acknowledgment before continuing their conversation, knowing JJ’s scheme. He put his arm around her shoulders again, using his free hand to play with the ends of her sunkissed brown hair.

“Maybank, what exactly am I helping you with?” She asked, leaning into him slightly.

He glanced back and forth at the crowd of partygoers quickly before returning his attention to her. “Uh...hold on, I’ll tell you in a second.” He continued playing with her hair and she almost closed her eyes, relishing the feeling until he abruptly stopped and dropped his arm from her shoulder. He grinned finally and sighed in relief, looking out into the crowd and nodding out in that direction.

Charlie followed his gaze and laughed when she saw a Touron huff in disappointment, storming off with her friends after his blatant rejection.

“Sorry, Charlie, I needed assistance and you were the first girl I knew.” He offered in a half-ass apology. “But you didn’t seem to mind, did you?” He grinned lazily, tugging lightly on the end of her hair.

“Shut up,” she responded, blushing and bringing her hands to her cheeks to hide it.

He caught one of her hands in his before she could cover her face. “Don’t. It’s cute.”

Maybe it was a sudden burst of confidence, maybe it was the liquid courage (on second thought, it was definitely the alcohol). “Maybank, you’re not really going to start flirting with me after you’ve never given me a second thought before, are you?” She asked dryly, raising her eyebrows.

He raised his back, considering the question for a beat before responding. “Seems like I’ve been missing out,” he offered with a grin.

She blushed again. “JJ -”

“Oh, so you do know my first name!” He teased, shoving her shoulder slightly.

She rolled her eyes. “Of course I do, we’ve gone to school together since we were five.”

“You don’t act like it, avoiding me at all our date parties.” He countered.

“Maybe I don’t want to associate with you.”

A flash of hurt came over him before the smile halfway returned to his face. “You don’t mean that.”

Her alcohol-induced haze failed to help her pick up on his hurt. “You have a reputation, Maybank, I don’t want people to think I’m just another one of your conquests.”

“I’m not that bad!” He cried out in protest, running a hand through his hair sheepishly. He at least had the decency to look a little embarrassed.

“You are that bad,” Charlie scoffed. “We have a list pinned up in the Kappa house of boys that’ll break your heart, and you’re on top, underlined and highlighted.”

As the party dwindled, the rest of the Pogues had been halfway paying attention to the conversation by them, but Kiara finally spoke up at the mention of The List. She wrinkled her nose. “Oh my god, JJ, you said you weren’t that bad in college.”

“What can I say, the ladies love me,” he shrugged with a shit-eating grin, earning a groan from his friends before Charlie smacked his chest with the back of her hand, rolling her eyes.

“See? A reputation,” Charlie repeated.

“Okay, okay, I surrender,” he joked, putting his hands up in defense.

“Alright, well, looks like I helped you enough, so I’m gonna get back to my friends.” Charlie glanced around for them and stood, immediately stumbling, her low tolerance betraying her.

JJ laughed and stood to catch her, his arm easily wrapping around her waist.

She pulled his arm off of her, shaking her head. “I can walk! I’m like, totally sober. I don’t need help.”

He raised his eyebrows, gesturing his arm in front of him. “Go ahead, prove it.”

Stubborn as ever, she took about five steps away from the group before tripping over a root buried in the sand. Kiara shot JJ a glare just before he made a sly remark and he stifled a laugh, going to help Charlie up. “Come on then, I’ve got you.” He took her hand and helped her up, wrapping his arm securely around her waist again and ignoring a whine from her. She pulled out her phone and saw multiple messages from her friend Grace that she hadn’t seen.

Grace: are u coming?

Grace: do u need rescuing?

Grace: why are u with JJ anyway i thought you already went through ur rebound phase

Grace: ok I have to go but i’m tracking u on find my friends, call if u need me

JJ glanced down at the screen and scanned it quickly, then looked away, pretending not to have read the messages - especially the third one. Charlie sighed and looked up at JJ, putting on a serious expression.

“Maybank?”

“Yeah, Charlie?” He held his breath, bracing for another insult.

“I don’t think I can drive.”

His shoulders relaxed and he chuckled, fishing her car keys out from her back pocket. “Probably not. Come on, pretty girl, I’ll drive you.”

She wrinkled her nose at the nickname, but relented, walking with him. “I’m not your girl.”

“I didn’t say you were,” he smirked. “Was that a Freudian slip, Charlie?” He tried in an attempt to impress her, alluding to their English 101 class together freshman year.

She shook her head. “Nice try, Maybank, it’s not.”

The two made their way to her car and he gently helped Charlie into the passenger seat, careful of his hands as he buckled her in. “Do you know how to get me home?” She asked, reaching over and tugging on his seatbelt once he got in.

“I do, I remember the party at your house for high school graduation.”

She smiled at the memory. Where she lived, she wasn’t quite a Pogue, but wasn’t quite a Kook - just in between enough to blend in. “I had my first kiss that night.”

JJ laughed in surprise. “You had your first kiss when you were 18? That late?”

Charlie rolled her eyes. “Not all of us made it our mission to get around with the entire high school.”

He pretended to gasp, clutching his heart dramatically. “Damn, Charlie, shot after shot to the heart.” He pulled into her driveway, then ran around to help her out of the car before she could get out on her own, placing her car keys in her hand. “I got you, don’t fall,” he said, being extremely careful of his hand placement around her waist again. By that point, she had partially sobered up, but she didn’t mind his touch.

“Oh, fuck me,” she muttered, seeing the light on in her parents’ room.

“Charlie, that’s rather forward of you.” JJ smirked, wanting to see her blush again.

“Fuck off.” She blushed deeply and JJ grinned, poking her cheek. She flinched away but laughed anyway. “I need to go, I’m sure my parents are gonna be mad at me, I was supposed to babysit my brother tonight, not sneak out and get drunk.”

JJ nodded. “Alright, good night Charlie. I’ll see you around.” He leaned in slightly, like he was about to kiss her, then changed his mind at the last second.

She realized her eyes had almost fluttered shut in anticipation, then shook her head, taking a large step away from him. “See you around, JJ,” she replied over her shoulder before going inside.

She shut the door behind her and leaned up against it, smiling to herself. Maybe JJ Maybank wasn’t all that bad.

#outer banks #jj outer banks #outer banks fanfic #outer banks fanfiction #college outer banks #jj maybank obx #obx fanfiction #obx fanfic #obx x reader #college!obx #jj x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank x oc #jj x oc fanfic #jj x oc #mine #jj x charlie

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opalmaplehibiscus · 4 years

Text

Rubies, Diamonds, and Self Reflection

HC of Kalim and Leona’s Senpai-Kouhai relationship + Kalim and Jamil in Kalim’s POV after Chapter 4

· It would be a lie to say Kalim wasn’t crushed from what Jamil said

· The last thing he wanted was to be hated by the person he treasures the most

· It was understandable why Jamil resented him. He was the reason why Jamil wasn’t free anymore and made him feel burdened

· If only he had known, if only he had known, Kalim would’ve done everything he could to free Jamil and the rest of his family

· Yet he didn’t and it was because he wasn’t able to catch the hints

· For once, he didn’t know what to do. He tried to extend his hand to Jamil, in hopes that it would help them move on and start a new relationship

· It took everything in him to not flinch when Jamil slapped his hand away and said “No way”

· No one ever found out about him crying during every night as he was successfully able to weep quietly to the point Jamil wasn’t able to find out

· Betrayal, hurt, sadness, pain – he couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t know what to do to mend their relationship or even know how to feel at this point

· But when Kalim remembered a certain line, a certain wish Jamil had yelled at him, he started thinking. Then, staring at his head scarf that was hanging on a chair, Kalim started to take actions with his own hands

· When Jamil comes to wake up Kalim out of habit, he finds Kalim’s bed well-made, pajamas folded in his drawer perfectly

· Panic and worry were the only two things Jamil felt before he finds Kalim sitting in the lounge with the rest of the Scarabia dorm members

· Kalim had his eyes closed while one of the freshmen was applying the finishing touches to his make-up as another was tying the headscarf

· When he had initially gone up and asked the dorm members’ if they could help him, he remembered how they looked worried after seeing the sunken, dark circles beneath his eyes

· He was thankful they were willing to look it over, accepting the excuse that he wasn’t able to sleep because of the heat

· When Jamil calls out Kalim’s name, Kalim jumps a bit, causing the freshman to apologize and worriedly ask him if they had accidentally injured his eyes

· Reassuring him the student that he was fine, Kalim opens the eye that was done and greets Jamil normally…or at least tried to

· He didn’t understand why Jamil seemed to be worried about his whereabouts, giving Jamil a confused look

· When Kalim replies “Wasn’t this what you wanted though?”, he got more confused when he sees a flash of shock and hurt cross Jamil’s face before he sees his former best-friend agree and stomp past the doors

· The want to grab Jamil’s hand and ask for an explanation nearly won him over, but Kalim was able to hold it in

· It would be a lie to say he felt lonely. He wasn’t used to walking the hallways alone or eating by himself

· He missed the times he and Jamil would talk to each other, whether it was Jamil scolding him for forgetting his homework or eating messy

· But in the same time, in the corner of his heart, he was hoping Jamil felt hurt as well. And the fact he felt that way made Kalim ever more guilty and led him to stay away from Jamil even more

· It was for this reason that during the Fairy Gala operation, he said that he would support Leona

· He was aware that Leona got the hint that it was an act of desperation – an excuse to hopefully make Jamil stay away from him

· Kalim didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore. He didn’t want to see his most precious people feel burdened because of him

· He was sick and tired bringing only pain to others

· So when him, Leona, and Jamil ended up being paired together as the main “attraction”, Kalim breathed out a relieved sigh

· He was hoping he would get paired with Ruggie or Yuu/MC, but as long as he wasn’t alone with Jamil, he was fine

· But when Jamil kept on trying to help Kalim despite our sunshine boy pointedly asking for other’s help, frustration was building up inside of him

· He thought Jamil wanted to stay away from him? Feel free and not be under the Al-Asim influence?

· Was Jamil worried that his dad might hear that he wasn’t looking after Kalim? Well…Jamil didn’t need to do that since he already written a fabricated report for the headmaster to submit to his dad. Sounding exactly like how Jamil would’ve written the report to a T

· Kalim doesn’t expect for Leona to actually help him out, acting as if Leona was frustrated with Kalim on how “slow” he was despite being the one to help fix his hair ornaments and the finishing touches of his looks

· And this small interference made by Leona continued until their mission ended in success

· He knew Leona was going to confront him about him and Jamil, but he wasn’t expecting it to happen on the very next day

· Kalim’s hands were in fists as Leona was jeering at Kalim for “not noticing” what Jamil was doing to him as frustration bubbled along with the salt rubbing on his wound. Like bro, come on. He’s not even over it yet and you’re seriously going to do that? Really?

· When Kalim questions Leona back on his reasoning to help him out, he huffed when he sees Leona’s eyes widen from the unexpected question

· What he didn’t expect was for the 3rd-year lion to bark out laughter before commenting how it seemed like he had seen everything wrong

· He didn’t enjoy being on the receiving end of Leona’s predatory look, but continued to hold his stance, giving a sneering look of his own

· He could only sigh internally as the cat was out of the bag when Leona realizes that Kalim knew about everything this whole entire time and only had Jamil continued to do his “little dance” because of consideration of Jamil being his friend and safety of everyone else

· But confusion covered his face as Leona started to criticize him of his judgement and told him what he would’ve done in Kalim’s stead

· It doesn’t take long to realize Leona was giving him advice. For free. Without asking him back for anything

· Seeing the suspicion on his face, he’s given a ruffle on his head before Leona tells Kalim that he wants to see what more Kalim could potentially do in the future though Kalim knew Leona was more interest in him and…Jamil’s confrontation

· Kalim knew this was his only chance to ask for help, to help him getter stronger. Pivoting on his heals, Kalim grabs Leona, who had now walked past him, by the wrist before asking Leona to help him get stronger

· Cause Kalim knew that if he doesn’t get stronger one way or another, he’ll continue dragging people down. And he knew that he wouldn’t be able to make himself stronger if he trains by himself

· When Jamil trained him, Kalim was able to get criticism of what he needed to get stronger on but now that he was trying not to rely on Jamil, Kalim had no choice but to seek for help by someone who’s smarter and stronger than him

· When he sees Leona about to reject him with his usual “Hah, hell no. That’s too much of a pain”, Kalim ends up making a deal with Leona that he would help his senpai avoid Ruggie’s nagging if he helps him just an hour per day

· It took him literally everything to get Leona to agree on those terms, going as far as being dragged across the ground while clinging onto Leona’s arm

· Leona: Let go of my f-king arm before I use my Unique Magic on you Kalim: *clings tighter* Never! You can’t make me! Leona: Hoh? And why? Kalim: *sparkles and holy light radiates from him* Pwease? uwu

· On their first session….things were bad. Leona kept on napping ever 5 minutes as Kalim was doing some of the exercises Leona had him do

· …Listen. He doesn’t like hurting people, okay? However, even he has a limit to how much crap he can deal with, his patience starting to wear thin because of his stress

· So, when Kalim “accidentally” makes it rain over Leona, the feeling of satisfaction and smugness only lasted a second before he was running away from an angry lion while screaming sorry

· When 3 days passed though, Kalim started to realize that not only has he become stronger – Leona seemed to start doting on him

· At first, Kalim thought nothing of it when Leona chucked a water bottle at him, telling Kalim how he needed to stay hydrated if he was going to continue training under Leona

· Yet, slowly, the training between Kalim and Leona starts to get longer and when Kalim points it out, Leona would end up just nonchalantly say how they seemed to have been carried away

· The last evidence that Leona actually cares for him was when Kalim accidentally had fallen asleep during their break. He wouldn’t imagine coming to see the day that he would end up waking up in none other than Leona’s room with a freaking blanket covering him

· Soon, Kalim finds himself hanging around Leona more with Leona showing annoyance as his tail would flick or ears would twitch whenever Kalim comes over to hang out. Kalim knows though that Leona didn’t mind being around him seeing how Leona never attempts to push him away

· He should��ve seen it coming that not everyone was going to accept his new found friendship as one second, he’s next to Leona, the next Jamil was dragging him down the hallways

· Others were fooled into thinking that the relationship between him and Jamil must’ve gotten better for something that had always happened in the past is occurring again now

· Kalim, though, knows that that wasn’t the case. Jamil’s grip is too tight and the way Jamil was walking wasn’t out of annoyance but from anger and….jealousy?

· He keeps on asking Jamil what was wrong and that his wrist hurt throughout the whole journey until the two enters an empty classroom

· Jamil was already questioning Kalim, telling him did he know how dangerous it was for him to hang around Leona of all people, reminding him that he needed to be more conscious like Jamil had always mentioned before

· In the past, when Kalim had trusted Jamil with his whole heart and thought they were friends, he would’ve accepted this

· Now, Kalim is feeling more cornered and stressed. It seems as if no matter what he did, Jamil wasn’t ever going to forgive him or realize how much Kalim was trying to mend their relationship

· When Jamil mentions how he wasn’t going to be there for Kalim and asks if Kalim still intended to burden him when he thought Kalim was willing to free him, Kalim was reminded of the words Jamil had said in chapter 4 and tries to hold the tears that were threatening to pour out while making fists with his hands

· By the time Jamil finished, Kalim used all of his will power to muster his usual sheepish grin before he replies that he understands before, not helping himself, shooting a shot back at Jamil

· When Kalim asks Jamil why he decided to drag him and lecture him like this when it’s only going to waste Jamil’s time, he sees Jamil’s face flash a sign of confusion before turning into frustration and anger, not at Kalim, but at himself

· Jamil replies that he still holds the responsibility of having to keep Kalim safe somewhat for the sake of his own family before he shoves Kalim to the side and leaves

· Numbly, Kalim leaves the classroom as well, feeling hollow and broken. He doesn’t think where his feet take him until he found himself in front of Ramshackle’s dorm

· Surprise from where he was and panicking that he was going to be late with his training session with Leona, Kalim starts to turn around again only to meet with Yuu/MC and Grim

· When Yuu/MC asks Kalim if he came again to offer fixing part of the dorm, Kalim could only sheepishly laugh and rub the back of his head cause to be fair, Kalim did came over a few times to help Yuu/MC fix their dorm after helping him out with Scarabia’s scandal

· He isn’t sure what could’ve possibly hinted that he’s feeling down since he was sure his acting was still on point as he makes an excuse on spot that he was only passing by this

· He doesn’t expect Yuu/MC to drag him into Ramshackle Dorm’s lounge with a complaining Grim following right behind them nor be seated and drinking tea, like a normal person. By that, as in, not excessively pouring sugar cubes like the time when he wanted to pull on Jade’s leg

· The two start off having a small talk with each other, Kalim sounding like his normal bright self and Yuu/MC ever being considerate before they asked Kalim what was making him stressed out

· Kalim blinks owlishly, not expecting for that question to be asked out of the blue before trying to assure them that he wasn’t

· No matter what he did, Yuu/MC didn’t buy any of his excuses, pointing out every little sign that Kalim isn’t okay

· He tries telling them to drop it as gently as possibly, purposely making the conversation go in circles

· When Yuu/MC reveals that Kalim wasn’t the type to get lost aimlessly - that made Kalim become alert

· He asks them what they meant before they state how they knew Kalim was smarter than he leads others to believe, evening calling him out for lying about the fact he couldn’t memorize things when they brought up the time when Kalim held a banquet for the headmaster

· Kalim felt offended for being called out and having his hidden side be revealed before he narrows his eyes and asks what did they know about him

· Starting from there, everything pent up poured out as Kalim raised his voice and continue asking what in the world Yuu/MC knew about him

· Did they know how much he suffered from not being able to eat whatever and wherever he wanted? To not be able to trust anyone or anything? To have to believe that whatever was around him could possibly kill him because of his fate and position?

· Did they know how much he work he did to become powerful and smart enough just so he could stop becoming a weight that sinks people down and instead, do the reverse and help them? To have to pull an act of seeming carefree so he wouldn’t worry anyone from his own emotional burden?

· How much pain he had to swallow in and do his best to act normal after Jamil’s betrayal and confession? How broken hearted he was to have been seen that way by the person he had trusted his whole life while feeling guilty to be the one to make said person feel like that?

· Kalim doesn’t realize he was being hugged or, in fact, crying as he let everything go

· When he calms down, he quickly apologizes to Yuu/MC while Grim comes over and places a box of tissue on the coffee table

· Yuu/MC assures him that it was fine and asks if he now felt better, especially when he was able to stop holding everything in

· He could only nod as he hides his blush of embarrassment behind the tissue he blew his nose into

· Sometimes Kalim wonders if Yuu/MC intentionally tries to frustrates people when Yuu/MC points out how it was because of his weakness – that he cares too much about the people he holds close to and his naivety- that led to Jamil to treat him as a pushover

· Yet he realizes that Yuu/MC was trying to comfort him as they tell him that it was okay for him to be selfish and exert some authority, that it was okay to show he was actually smart beneath his mask as they point out that had Kalim had shown that side of him, he would’ve been able to get Jamil to at least not pull off the stunt seen in Chapter 4 or at least realize by now that Jamil was in the wrong, not him

· Kalim wants to defend Jamil but Yuu/MC didn’t give him the opportunity to as they started to talk about how Jamil had every opportunity to become free without using the whole “use my Unique Magic to the point I overblot” method and finally convinced Kalim that the relationship between him and Jamil wasn’t completely his fault

· Kalim, realizing all of this, felt satisfied and peacefully come in terms with everything as his heart didn’t weigh so heavy anymore. For the first time in a while, Kalim smiles from the bottom of his heart and thanks Yuu/MC before quickly rushing out and head to Leona as he saw on his phone that he was about to be late

· When he meets Leona, Leona doesn’t ask why his eyes seemed swollen up or slightly red as he has Kalim start on his warm ups like usual

· It was during break Leona gruffly asks him if he was alright

· Seeing how Kalim was giving him a questioning look, Leona huffs before he tells Kalim that he heard about “him and Jamil were starting to become friends again” and huffs about how the herbivores in their school aren’t able to notice the tension between the two when the whole hallway thing happened

· Kalim starts grinning, feeling warm and happy that Leona was showing that he cares about Kalim’s wellbeing, before he laughs and tells Leona he’s okay

· He could see Leona holding back his worries and frustration seeing how Leona’s eyebrow was twitching and raising his hand-raising his hand? No, that wasn’t supposed to happen. Leona please put your hand down, I’m sorry, I said I was-!

· Starting from that day, Kalim went back to his normal self. Yet instead of focusing on Jamil, for once, Kalim starts to care for himself as he now hung out with Yuu/MC more, visiting their dorm and hang out with them every so often and continuing his training under Leona

· It was at this point Kalim also became buddies with the Octavinelle trio and having Vil become his “sensei” again, but this time on clothes and make-up

· So, when Yuu/MC suddenly tells him that there was going to be a party held in one of the second year’s classroom, Kalim knew it was lie but still goes there anyways

· He knew Yuu/MC wasn’t the type to lie without a reason

· He never would’ve expected to get locked in a classroom with Jamil, of all people

· The only way to describe the atmosphere between the two of them is awkward

· Sweat rolls down the side of his face as he tries to lighten the pressure between the two of them, starting up small talk and asking the basic pleasantries

· Kalim gets surprised when Jamil, out of nowhere, asks him if he was having fun with his new friends

· Thinking that it was an opportunity, Kalim answers with a yes and went on and on about the things that happened with the people he now hangs out with

· When Kalim started to talk about how he seemed to become closer to Yuu/MC and Leona and unconsciously show his endearment for the two, he stops abruptly after hearing Jamil snort

· He calls out Jamil’s name only to have Jamil suddenly sneer at him for still being “naïve and not learned anything”

· Anger, hurt, and disappointment fills Kalim as Jamil continues to insult him, going on about how he felt bad that his new friends were stuck taking care of a person who didn’t even know how to cook for himself except with magic

· To say he felt satisfied when he surprises Jamil was an understatement. Yeah, Kalim felt mean when he shot back at Jamil mentioning how Jamil would’ve been freed if only he told Kalim

· Making a sneering expression of his own, Kalim points out how, because he’s probably one of the few to know him to the point of reading his mind, Jamil has been trying to get Kalim to accept his offer for help

· Kalim scoffs how Jamil only ended up making enemies despite being able to increase his social status in the school and that he can’t help but think that all of his troubles could’ve been prevented easily

· The two continues to insult each other until they yelling at each other, holding the other one’s collar until they start to emotionally confess everything they had felt during the time they stayed away

· The hands that were holding the other one’s collar slowly and gradually wrap around each other’s shoulders as both Kalim and Jamil sinks onto their knees and hug

· They continue to sob in each other’s embrace, for comfort and forgiveness until they calmed down and let go

· Kalim ends up being the one to break the atmosphere as he couldn’t help but find Jamil’s crying face hilarious. It’s his first-time seeing Jamil look like that and to be honest, it made Jamil look like a kid that cried from a tantrum

· When Jamil shouts at him to shut up, Kalim continues to tease Jamil before he got up and extends his hand to Jamil

· When Jamil looks at the hand then to his eyes, Kalim gives Jamil his famous cheerful grin

· He still counts it his victory when Jamil sighs and took Kalim’s hand

· Feeling as if things were alright, the two started to discuss how to open the locked classroom without damaging it before they hear the classroom’s door bang open

· The two were surprised when they see Leona growling how long they intended to stay in the classroom before they realized that the door wasn’t locked from the start and the whole thing was set up

· Kalim starts complaining to Yuu/MC who comes in behind Leona while turning a blind eye to Leona and how he was threatening Jamil to not think about hurting him anymore

· The two were found walking back to Scarabia Dorm with each other, fooling around just like back then as everyone headed back home

#twst #twisted wonderland #kalim al asim #jamil viper #leona kingscholar #hc #headcanon #kalim deserved better #jamil is a clown i'm sorry

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minyoonmeme · 4 years

Text

Normalcy of the Pretty Posse

Chapter 1

Word Count: 2494

Pairing: reader x ?????

Genre: like 90% fluff, 10% stupid jokes and bad humor

Description: Stupid Jeongguk and his cute sweaters and pretty posse of hyungs.

(Disclaimer: This will probably have some typos. I started writing this instead of doing some Statistics homework and spent so long on it that I have zero time to edit. Sorry~)

masterlist

There was no game plan. There never really had been, at least not for me. Making it past 16 was something I had never foreseen, never imagined I could do. And now, here I am, alone in a country in a university far from home with no idea how life is supposed to go. Okay, maybe I’m being pessimistic because I’m not completely alone. I have friends if you count the two idiots who don’t let me drown in takeout boxes on weekends. They’re wonderful, they really are, I promise.

Yoonjin is the sweetest person I’ve ever met no matter how much I want to strangle her into putting herself first. She’s the one who calls me about anything and everything. Don’t tell her that I secretly love that she calls me first when something happens. Chaebin is my right hand gal. My broski. My homegirl. My uh… well she’s great honestly. She’s all bark and no bite with the strongest affiliation for cute things, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. These two are pretty much my whole life other than the impending doom of my failing future that I have chosen to personally personify. Makes it less scary if it's punchable, honestly.

“Are you gonna actually do your work or are you gonna stare at your coffee all day?

Rolling my head to the side, I eye Chaebin with the blankest face I can muster.

“I didn’t ask to be criticized when I asked you to come to the library with me.”

“No, but you did ask me to make sure you finish your paper in time for practice tonight. Yoonjin will cry if you let her go by herself again.” I groan, throwing my head against the cushion of the booth’s chair. She’s right, I know she is. I’ve missed two weeks of dance workshops and Yoonjin, without missing a beat, after every workshop comes knocking on my door teary eyed and sputtering about how she was all alone and lost without me there. Food usually helps soften her up.

“You think she’ll forgive me if I miss just one more week?” Chaebin twitches her eyebrow up as she side eyes me from her computer. I slump even further and push my laptop farther away in favor of laying my head down. “You’re right. She’ll probably accuse me of abandoning her and our friendship if I skip one more time.”

“I’ve literally seen you pump out a 12 page research paper in 3 hours, just go dance or whatever tonight and stress yourself later.”

“Anxiety and Red Bull are a toxic combo, but I’ll have you know that I got a 94 on that paper.” Smiling smugly, I turn my head to look at her. She’s not wearing her glasses today, so it’s hard to tell if she’s glaring at me or blind today. “If I bail, are you gonna be okay by yourself? I can swing by afterwards with Yoonjin, so you don’t have to walk home alone tonight.”

Her glare softens as she shakes her head no before grabbing some eyedrops. Oh. So she is wearing her contacts. “No, I’ll be okay. I came packing.” Her right hand pats her bag before she smirks and continues searching through her syllabus.

I eye her bag warily and half jokingly say, “Please, tell me you don’t have a gun.”

Her face scrunches as she stares at me. “Are you stupid? Why would I have a gun? I meant I have my phone and a taser. Do I look like I know how to shoot a gun?”

I shrug and start packing up my bag. My joints scream and pop from being stationary so long. “I am, do I look like I know how to shoot a gun? You never know Chae, I could be a highly skilled marksman just waiting to take someone out. I might not even be a real college student, just a really good undercover assassin.”

Her nose twitches as she clicks open a few browsers. “You almost cried last night when you saw a stray cat ignore you. I highly doubt you’re killing anyone these days.”

“Animals love me and that one hurt, don’t use my feelings against me. Don’t you remember when you cried because you thought I was ignoring you last year?” Her face dropped as she coughed into her shirt, trying to hide the red splotches. “I was literally sick for three days and you came to my apartment with food because you thought I hated you. What was it you said? Something about not being allowed to hate you if you fed me.”

“We don’t talk about junior year, I was going through it.” Her voice was tight, but I could tell she was amused. “It’s almost 6 o’clock, you should text Yoonjin and tell her that you’re not abandoning her tonight.” She slides my bag towards me and lets me scoot past her out of the booth.

“Yoonjin and I will be by later to walk you back to your apartment around 9:30. Sound good?” My legs wiggle as I try and get a feeling back into them from sitting so long. When I stand there longer than normal, her eyes flash up as she nods and waves her hand at me to leave.

To: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

You wanna meet outside the commons tonight or walk over together?

From: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

WAHH

YOU”RE COMMING? No more awkwardly standing in the back by myself!?!?!? :)))))))

[crying egg dog.pdf]

let’s meet in the the commons

To: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

7? By the double doors upstairs?

From: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

No, no, no my friend come ASAP. We have much to discuss.

To: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

Uh okay???? See you in like 10 minutes I guess???

From: Yoonjin the Trash Bin

See you! <3

_______________________________________________________________________

“You actually did come.” Yoonjin’s hand reaches out and pinches my arm before she settles back against the wall. “I thought for sure your text was all some weird daydream I had conjured up.”

“Chaebin convinced me that our friendship was on the line if I left you alone at another workshop for the third week in a row.” My bag landed on the ground as I slide down next to Yoonjin. Her hair, newly cut and dyed to a short choppy greyish purple bob, was still something I needed to get used to. Yoonjin had failed her midterm last week and as a result decided that her hair would rejuvenate her life and, thus, her will to study. I still don’t think she’s bought her textbooks for this semester yet, but that’s not my business.

“As she should! It was your idea to start coming to these dance things, and you left me!” Despite her anger, she still turned her smoothie toward me as an offering. “I look like a loose limbed monkey in there. At least with you there, you explain the steps to me.” I choke on the smoothie a little bit, as she crosses her arms.

“Loose limbed monkey? Yoon, you look fine! These workshops are meant for people who don’t have dance experience. It was your idea to try dancing, I just found a place to do it” Her face contorts as she sips on her smoothie again, shaking it to mix it up and get some frustration out.

“It wouldn’t be so bad if people like you or Jeong-fucking-guk didn’t kept coming. It’s not fair to suck and then have to watch you two just like magically do it.” Her head gets thrown back with a thud as she grunts. Immediately I laugh and rub the back of her head in oder to soothe the soon to be ache.

“I can go if you want since you seem to not want me or Jeongguk here apparently.” Her eyes dart over to me in the most non threatening but threatening way possible for someone like her. “Okay, so I’ll stay. Make your mind up Yoonjin, I can’t keep playing these games with you.” I click my tongue against my teeth as she smacks my thigh closest to her. “You said something about Jeongguk coming right? Since when does he come out to these things? I thought he was a dance and choreography minor? Shouldn’t he be with the big dogs or something in like a real class dancing?”

Yoonjin hums, offering me the rest of her smoothie. It’s a green looking health smoothie from a self proclaimed health bar down the street. It’s for sure my favorite, and definitely not her’s, so I take it and nudge her as a thanks. “That’s the thing, I didn’t even know he went to these things. Usually I just hang out with you and everyone else who hides in the back with me, but last week he came up to me and asked if you were still coming.” I raise my eyebrows in surprise and nod for her to continue. “I told him you’ve been busy and he kinda just nodded and shuffled away. He did tell me to tell you to take it easy though.” “Were you ever planning on telling me that a boy approached you about me?”

“I'm telling you now and that’s all that matters. Besides, I thought you swore off men after the mishap freshman year with that one Tinder date.”

Immediately my face heats up, and I grimace at the memory. “We don’t talk about that for a good reason, you brat.” If she’s mad I called her a brat, her smug smile doesn’t show it. I go to open my mouth and further yell at her for bringing up the traumatizing story when a pair of black heavy boots skids to a stop by my stretched out legs.

Okay, so here's the thing about Jeon Jeongguk . He is terrifyingly good looking. So much so that looking at him hurts, like physically hurts. Jeon Jeongguk could punch me in the face and I would say thank you for the attention and bow before passing out. Okay, that’s perhaps way too far but he is attractive and built. God, is he built. And he’s not even an asshole about it! Most guys who exercise thrive on showing off their bodies and flaunting their muscles. Not Jeon Jeongguk , though., Nope! Jeongguk wears sweaters and button ups that make him resemble a Korean version of Mr. Rogers. All smiles and kind eyes with a heart of gold. Men like Jeongguk are the reason I have heart issues and top notch acting skills.

“You’re back!” My eyes blink a few times at Jeongguk before I register that he's looking at and me actually speaking. When I don’t say anything Jeongguk fiddles with the sleeve of his shirt and looks at Yoonjin before letting out a cough. He speaks a little calmer now, more airy and rushed. “Yoonjin said you’ve been busy and I was worried you weren’t gonna come back ‘til next semester. Not that I worried about you or like not not worried about you, but uh…” He sputtered a little and lets out a small huff of air before ruffling his hair back. My lips pressed together as I swing from internally swooning over his cuteness to the attractiveness of him pushing his hair back. “It’s good so see you back. Hobi hyung, says it's good to have some experienced people in the class to encourage and help beginners.”

“Is that why you keep coming too?”

Maybe he doesn’t expect my question or for me answer him at all, but he blinks a little too hard and shyly looks over my shoulder rather than my face. It’s cute and maybe it makes a smile break out on my face. Just maybe though. “Yes! Hobi-hyung asked me to help him since he can’t uh ya know help everyone at once.” He doesn’t sound too sure of himself, but I let it go seeing as this is our first comprehensible conversation.

“That’s sweet of you to help your hyung for free. Does Hoseok-shi think I’m there to do the same? I feel a little bad missing the past two weeks if you’ve been doing it all by yourself.” I frown and pinch my eyebrows a little tighter, looking the direction of the doors. Should I apologize? Yoonjin beside me, I can tell, has grown more and more interested in our conversation as she undoubtedly is texting our group-chat with Chaebin about what's happening. She nudges me to focus when the conversation stalls a little. The nerve of her, I swear.

Jeongguk , getting redder and slightly more panicky, shakes his head no a little too roughly. His hair looks a little messed up, and I nearly squeal with the need to fix the adorable mess that he is right now. Outside, however, I just smile softly and encourage him to explain. “Hobi-hyung and I are okay, you’re just like an added bonus to class cause you know you obvious have some experience with your technic and seem to pick up the dances quickly.” It’s a little rushed, but I think I make out everything he’s saying.

“Are you trying to say I’m a good dancer Jeongguk ?” It’s meant to be lighthearted and playful, but Jeongguk physically widens his eyes and looks everywhere, but in my direction for a few seconds before he stops trying to voice anything out just nods. My hands clasp in my lap as a I suppress a smile and will the flush to disappear from my cheeks. “Thanks, you dance really well too. I can see why you’re studying dance.”

Jeongguk whispers the faintest, “Thank you,” before shoving his thumb in the direction of the door indicating that he’s gonna help them set up for the workshop. I wave goodbye and watch as he does the same and dashes behind the door. Now that he’s gone, I can breathe a little easier. That was probably the weirdest experience I’ve had today, or this week for that matter. Pretty people don’t just go up to me and talk, let alone me of all people. And when I say pretty people, I mean pretty people like Jeongguk and his pretty posse of friends. Jeongguk and his hyungs are just uncommonly so pretty and somehow together all the time. Even now Jeongguk is inside with Jung Hoseok, a graduate student who hosts the beginner dance workshops on Thursday. The fact that Jeongguk even talked to me, or asked about me last is enough to twist my insides a little. Normal people talk to people all of the time, but Jeongguk was not normal and his hyungs are not normal. I mean they are, but they project this ethereal aura that just intimidates everyone. So, why for the love of God was Jeon Jeongguk just talking to me?

“Are we gonna talk about what just happened or are you gonna keep staring at the door?”

“Shut up, I'm trying to process everything.”

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here4theheartbreak · 4 years

Text

Trouble (YoonKook)

AO3 Link Here!

✩ Relationships: yoonkook (Yoongi x Jungkook) ✩ Genre(s): fluff

✩ Rating: Teen ✩ Tags: fluff, established relationship, humor, (teen for vague mention of sex at one point)

✩ Summary: Jungkook wants a kitten. And what Jungkook wants, Jungkook gets... Even if Yoongi doesn't know it.

✩ A/N: Written for Anonymous for the drabble requests, prompt #2: When did we get a cat?

✩ Word Count: ~2.8k

Yoongi had loved Jungkook for nearly as long as he’d known the man. They had met in high college, when Jungkook was still an awkward freshman trying to figure out what he wanted to do in life, and Yoongi was near his graduation, already signed with a music company in the city as a producer. Despite their first few awkward dates as Jungkook struggled to come to terms with his sexuality and get comfortable in his skin, they stuck together, moving in with one another in Jungkook’s sophomore year.

Everything was the both of them. Helping Jungkook come out to his family, the tears when his father was far less than supportive, Yoongi still remembers the way Jungkook had kissed him after Yoongi went toe to toe with the man, preventing a further fight and earning his respect in one fell swoop.

Studying for Jungkook’s exams when he felt he couldn’t learn a single thing more, working on the request for Yoongi’s contracts and listening to tracks he’d spent hours on.

Their friends laughed at them because of just how well they got along. Despite their many years together, fights were minimal. True fights, where one or the other had to walk away, could be counted on one hand. Spats were normal, but never lasted more than an hour or two before they talked it through. Agreements were easily reached, each willing to meet the other in the middle in order to maintain not only a peaceful household, but a happy relationship.

Yoongi knew he was wrapped around Jungkook’s very beautiful fingers, if he was being honest. He didn’t mind at all. Jungkook never abused the power he knew he had over Yoongi, and not once did Yoongi feel stepped on. They were equals and their relationship was more solid than most that Yoongi knew with people their age.

There was only one thing the two continually argued about. Animals.

Jungkook, from the day they moved in together, had been pleading with Yoongi to adopt a pet. First it was a dog, which was easily shut down because the apartment complex they were in did not allow dogs of any kind. Then it shifted to a cat, which Yoongi was less opposed to, but he worried they were both too busy to care for an animal. And then a snake, lizard, or bird, all of which Yoongi ixnayed as quickly as Jungkook brought them up. The idea of sharing his home with a pet was terrifying. Yoongi wasn’t exactly sure why, and even after Jungkook graduated college and began working, Yoongi still argued against the idea whenever it was brought up. It had to have been the source of at least five of their bickers per month, and not something either was willing to budge on.

The normalcy and frequency with which Jungkook normally brought up the idea of a pet was startling. And that should have been Yoongi’s first clue that something was amiss in their house. Jungkook stopped mentioning anything about adopting a pet of any kind, or even bringing UP animals. Despite the oddity of the decline, it was sort of nice, not having the same regular argument.

The second clue to something not quite being right was the sudden increase in the amount of fish - specifically tuna - and milk that Jungkook was consuming. Jungkook ate a ton anyway, so Yoongi didn’t think much about it, assuming his exercise crazy boyfriend was on some new protein or calcium diet.

The third clue should have been Jungkook’s willingness to clean the apartment. He’d always been willing to do laundry or cover certain chores, but Yoongi had been coming home from the office at the end of the day to an entirely spotless home. Though they weren’t dirty men, they were young men, and that - despite their best efforts - normally left some natural mess… But not when Jungkook set to work. Yoongi hadn’t had to pick up more than his own shoes or shirt in the past month.

Yet, despite all of these clues, Yoongi thought nothing of it. He was happy, content, and living life as well as he had ever hoped he could, doing what he loved with the man he loved.

It was a quiet Saturday evening and Yoongi was tense. He was snapping at Jungkook over the littlest things, and knew he was being a general dick.

“What is wrong?” Jungkook finally asked, rubbing Yoongi’s tense shoulders.

“Nothing.”

“Yeah, there is. Talk to me.” Jungkook nuzzled over Yoongi’s neck and ear, kissing the soft skin there gently until Yoongi shivered.

“Just this new project. It’s a tight deadline and I don’t feel like it’s good enough,” he finally admitted, letting Jungkook begin to work the knots in his shoulders loose.

“I understand. I’m sure it’s fine, baby - but I also know you have that perfectionist streak that makes you so damn good at your job. It won’t let you rest until you feel like it’s ideal.”

“Exactly.” Yoongi let his head hang. Jungkook knew exactly where to press to turn him into mush.

“Well, why don’t you go into the office tomorrow? Spend a few times working on it and see if you can get it a little closer, or at least figure out what went wrong?”

“Sunday is our— Oh…” Yoongi sighed contentedly. “Our day.”

“And I’m sure I’ll be just fine spending a few hours by my lonesome while you work on something important. I’d rather that than have you tense and unhappy during our day together anyway. We can spend tonight and tomorrow night together instead.”

“Are you sure?” Yoongi asked.

“Of course. In fact…” Jungkook let go of his shoulders and began to kiss up the curve of his neck. “Do you want to make love tonight?”

Yoongi sighed deeper, his eyes fluttering shut. “If I ever say no to that, I’ve lost my mind.”

Jungkook giggled, a deep, playful sound that went straight to Yoongi’s stomach. “Then go take a nice, long, relaxing bath and get all clean. We’ll make sure you’re so relaxed you can’t even move until tomorrow morning.”

“You are… The perfect boyfriend,” Yoongi said. “I know. Go on.” Jungkook kissed his cheek and rose, heading into their bedroom.

Yoongi headed into the bathroom, stripping down naked. He turned on the water, letting it heat up before plugging the tub and pulling out a nondescript box from under the counter. Inside were a variety of bath bombs, different makes, scents, textures, colors, and oils. It was his guilty pleasure, and only Jungkook really knew his secret. He knew the guys at work would tease him to no end. The tough rapper and producer loving the feel of silky soft lavender essential oil and bright pink bath bombs when he lounged in his tub.

Speaking of bright pink. Yoongi plucked a neon pink cat shaped bath bomb from the box, unwrapping it and smelling it. Jasmine and some other floral scents… Perfect. He went over to the tub, turning off the faucet and plopping the little cat into the steaming water. It began to fizz immediately, and Yoongi grinned to himself. He settled into the water, sighing contentedly. With half closed eyes, he batted the fizzing cat back and forth through the water, watching it pump pink and orange foam, the color slowly spreading through the clear water.

The scent was soothing and relaxing, exactly as intended, and Yoongi let his eyes drift shut. He listened to the fizzing of the bomb as he sank lower, his chin resting just above the water. His body relaxed almost of its own volition, the soothing warmth of the water and the scent of the oils working together to draw the tension out of his body. He could figure out his music, it was just a challenge. Which was exactly what he loved in his job. Nothing wrong with working a little harder.

Yoongi didn’t know how long he laid in the warm water. Long enough for the fizzing to quiet, leaving him in silence save for the steady thump of his heart, strong in his ears.

Because of that silence, the soft thud near the toilet was as loud as a snap in the bathroom. Yoongi opened his eyes, blinking a few times to clear his vision when it fell onto the toilet. Surely, he was seeing things. He remained still, squeezing his eyes shut and open. Nope… Still there.

On the toilet, carefully traversing the rim of the open seat, was a small black, brown, and orange kitten. Yoongi watched it slip, nearly landing in the water of the toilet. He tensed, ready to leap out and rescue it. It recovered, however, and continued on its trek, pausing to swipe at the water. Yoongi could feel his pulse increasing, concerned for the kitten’s safety, but worried that moving too quickly would scare it into the water if it might otherwise be able to avoid it.

“Jungkook,” he called at a voice just below normal. The kitten looked at him, seeming to realize there was a human in the room with it for the first time. It froze, as did Yoongi, hoping it wouldn’t do something stupid.

It looked at him for a while, then began its trek once more, seemingly deeming him as not a danger.

“Jungkook,” Yoongi called again, a little above his normal voice. And a third time, just a little louder so he wouldn’t scare the kitten, “Jungkook!”

“What’s up?” Jungkook called from behind the half-closed door.

“When did we get a kitten?”

There was a very pregnant pause. “What?”

“A kitten, Jungkook. When did we get a cat?”

“We… We don’t have a cat, Yoongi.”

“We don’t?” Yoongi looked at the animal and then at the closed door. “Then mind telling me what this small furry creature is that’s currently trying to avoid falling in our toilet?”

Jungkook pushed open the door quickly, rushing in.

“No!” Yoongi cried. Too late. The kitten startled at the sudden movement and fell into the toilet with an unhappy meow and splash. Yoongi scrambled out of the tub, splashing his own water everywhere. He grabbed the kitten out of the water, wrapping it in the towel he’d intended to use to dry himself.

It struggled at first, but seemed to calm when it realized it was warm and no longer under water. Yoongi sighed and turned to Jungkook, his mouth a fine line.

Jungkook stood sheepishly, his shoulders sagging. He worried his hands in front of him, chewing his lip. “I’m in trouble, huh?”

“I told you we couldn’t get a cat, Jungkook. Please, explain why I’m holding a very wet one right now?”

“Probably because she fell in the toilet…” Jungkook tried to joke, his mouth drooping when Yoongi didn’t so much as smile.

“I know you said no cats. No pets. And I didn’t… I didn’t mean to. She was dying, Yoongi.”

“She looks fine.”

“Yeah, now. When I brought her inside she was starving and shivering.”

“When you brought her in? How long has she been in the house, Jungkook?”

Jungkook lowered his head further. “A month. I promise I didn’t mean to keep her. I was going to take her to the shelter. I still planned to, I just wanted to make sure she was healthy so they wouldn’t euthanize her. I’ve been keeping her in the laundry room and letting her out while you’re at work.”

“So that’s why you’ve been so eager to clean. Keeping me from finding something cat related.”

Jungkook nodded. He looked close to tears. “I didn’t want to lie to you, but I was so scared you’d make me give her up right away if I told you. I just wanted to nurse her back to health and then I was gonna give her away. I promise. I know you don’t like animals.”

“Take her,” Yoongi said, holding the bundle out to Jungkook.

Jungkook obeyed, holding her close to him.

“Get her dried off, she’s gonna get sick with that water. I’m going to clean up the mess in here.”

“Do you hate me now, Yoongi?” Jungkook worried.

“No. Go on.”

Jungkook’s shoulders sagged. He headed out, the kitten in tow. Yoongi sighed when he was gone, grabbing another towel to begin cleaning up the water mess on the floor. He drained his bath, lamenting the wasted time he could have spent relaxing. As he cleaned the floor, he thought back to the previous twenty minutes. What a brave little animal. And so carefree, didn’t even mind being in his arms when he was clearly frustrated. As stubborn as Jungkook, clearly. He thought to the way Jungkook talked about her, so clearly in love with the small animal. A little twinge of guilt hit Yoongi. He’d been snappy. Jungkook’s explanation was sound; he probably would have done the same thing in his place. He needed to apologize.

Yoongi pulled on his sweats, walking through the apartment. He found Jungkook placing the small kitten in a carrier.

“Is that where she sleeps?” Yoongi asked.

“What? Oh, no, I had a little bed made of blankets for her. I’ll wash them, I promise.”

“Why are you putting her in there then?”

“Well, to drop her off to the shelter. They have someone available during nights most of the time. I told you I’d planned on getting rid of her once she was healthy – I’m sure she’ll be fine and adoptable now.”

Yoongi’s heart sank. “Jungkook…”

“I’m really sorry, Yoongi. I know I betrayed your trust.”

“You did. And thank you for the apology, I accept it,” Yoongi said.

Jungkook straightened up, wincing when the kitten meowed forlornly in the carrier. “I’ll be back soon.” He headed toward the door. Yoongi stuck out his arm, catching Jungkook in the chest and stopping him.

“The pet fee is one third of our monthly rent. I can pay half of it if you can afford the other half. And she’ll need to be up to date on shots, so you need to get that taken care of no later than Monday.”

“What?” Jungkook asked, his voice barely audible.

“Do I really need to repeat all that?” Yoongi lamented, looking at Jungkook out of the side of his eye.

“You’re saying we can keep her?” Jungkook clarified, a hopeful lilt in his voice.

“I’m saying feeding and the litter box is your responsibility. I don’t want to smell that, it’s gross. I’ll help with shots and buying food as you need, I know you make less, newer into your position. We can go half on getting her fixed, I’ll cover it if you can’t afford it, and you can pay me back over time.”

“Yoongi—”

“I don’t hate cats, Jungkook. I never did.” Yoongi let his arm drop and looked at Jungkook. “At first I said no because we were so busy, and then I just kept saying no. No real reason why. That wasn’t fair of me either. If I was in your position and found a sick kitten, I probably would have done the same thing that you did. I don’t fault you for having a big heart, baby. It’s part of why I love you.”

“You’re not mad?”

“I wish you’d trusted me enough to tell me right away, but I understand why you didn’t. I’m not mad. Go ahead and let her out of there, she sounds sad.”

Jungkook grinned wider, crouching down and opening the door of the carrier. The kitten peeked out. She stepped out slowly, eyeing Yoongi before trotting off.

“What did you name her?”

“Trouble.”

“Fitting name.” Yoongi crouched, holding his hand out and making a soft ‘psps’ noise to call her. She moved toward him, sniffing him before letting him scoop her up. He stroked her fur. “She’s cute. You did good getting her looking healthy.”

“I worked really hard with her,” Jungkook said, reaching out to pet Trouble as well.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a dick,” Yoongi said. “I should have been more understanding and willing to compromise on a pet.”

“I should have told you about her and trusted you to do stand by me,” Jungkook agreed. “You’re really okay with us keeping her?”

“No harm in it, really. We both work, but cats are independent. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

Jungkook went forward, kissing Yoongi gently. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He set Trouble down. “So I finished my bath,” he said, stepping up to Jungkook.

“Oh?”

“Mhm. I believe earlier there was a promise of making sure I was so relaxed I couldn’t move until tomorrow...”

Jungkook smirked, wrapping his arms around Yoongi’s shoulders. “I remember that.” He pressed gentle kisses along Yoongi’s jaw. “I should get started on that, hm?”

“Most definitely.”

Jungkook grinned. He let his arms drop and grabbed Yoongi’s hand, dragging him toward the bedroom. Yoongi laughed helplessly as he followed. He was weak for Jungkook, he knew it, and he was perfectly okay with it.

#thebtsficarchive #bangtanarmynet #thebtswritersclub #bangtanidx #btsguild #kwritersworldnet #networkbangtan #boymeetsmxm #bangtanxm #yoonkook #fluff #established relationship #animals #yoongi x jungkook #suga x jungkook #jungkook x yoongi #jungkook x suga #mywriting

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theoneryderlynn · 3 years

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Self Para || One of Us

Location: Ohio State University

Date: Freshman Year of College.

Notes: Bits of young Ryder during his freshman year in college that are relevant to his current story (aka before the Ryley era :D). Also, I have decided to pick young Vanessa Hudgens as an FC for Felicia.

Refresh.

Ryder’s eyes scrutinized his laptop’s screen as he tried to check whether his newest essay had already been graded. Nothing yet. He was feeling good about this one; the past few months in college had been decent for him. Despite being dyslexic, he’d managed to get good grades. Although Ryder was rather fond of his sessions with his tutor, he was told it wouldn’t be long till they would be necessary. He focused on the following few assignments and then rechecked his email. Seeing a familiar address, he quickly clicked on the tab.

Dear Mr. Lynn, I’m happy to inform you that your recent essay on “Social media’s influence in business” has been graded A-. Regardless of a few mistakes, your work proved excellent knowledge of the topic.

Ryder widened his eyes as he saw the message; it was hard to believe what had just happened. It was his first A in college, something he had never thought he would achieve. He grabbed his phone and sent a text to his parents and sister. Freya congratulated him, but his father seemed unbothered. “Not good enough.” He read the response out loud and sighed, leaning back. He wouldn’t let his father ruin the day. Not now.

------------------

He was lost in his thoughts for a moment as he was preparing two cups of coffee, still a little bit sleepy after an eventful Saturday night. He blinked when he realized that the warm liquid had been ready for a couple of minutes and that he was staring at the cups without doing anything. Finally, Ryder cleared his throat and moved towards the table.

“If you need sugar, I can bring…” He mumbled, placing one of the cups in front of Felicia, a brown-haired girl from his faculty. When she declined, he took a seat opposite her and took one of the forks. He was starving; luckily, she cooked a bunch of good omelets for the two of them.

“I had a really good time last night.” Ryder lifted his head when he heard Felicia’s voice, realizing that he’d just dropped his fork. He crouched down to look under the table and murmured a ‘sorry’, realizing that he was acting like an idiot. A hot girl was telling him that she had fun, and he was acting like a total fool, “You’re cute.” She added, causing him to smile. Okay, okay. Things weren’t that bad.

“I had a good time too.” He responded, a shy, lopsided grin present on his face. Somehow, these things didn’t come easily, “I should probably say, you’re cute too, but you’re like more…” He rambled on, gesticulating awkwardly. Ryder bit on his lip, blushing for a moment and realizing that he was once again doing the wrong thing. He took a small bite of his food.

There was an awkward silence for a moment.

“So, I wanted to ask...you know, this thing has been going on for a while, and I was wondering if maybe you’d like to take it further. I would like to know where I stand, if we’re just a fling or something else.” She spoke up, looking Ryder in the eye, something he hadn’t expected last night when they had met up at a restaurant, and ended up in his apartment later on.

Truthfully, Ryder hadn’t been in a relationship for a long time. Indeed, he’d dated in high school, but things had never been serious. However, college dating seemed slightly different, so maybe it was a chance for him to change. Nevertheless, he remained quiet for a second, unable to speak. He wasn’t sure if there was a good answer to Felicia’s question.

“I’d like that. We could give it a try.” He finally spoke up with a shy smile on his face. She was lovely and gorgeous, it wouldn’t hurt, right?

She took a small sip of her coffee and shuffled a bit closer, “That’s good to hear…” Ryder felt their eyes meeting and blushed again. He wasn’t used to the serious conversations, “One more question before we can get back to business…” She started with a cheeky grin, “Look, I wanna know...What’s up with you and the Marley girl? I don’t wanna be second best, so I have to ask.”

Ryder sighed, hearing the question. People kept on asking him about one of his best friends, and he had no idea why. It’s not like there were any chances for them to get together, “Well, nothing’s happening.” The brunette shrugged, “We met in high school; I liked her a lot, cause you know, she’s crazy talented, but erm...she kinda picked someone else. I let it go. We were best friends in high school, attended Glee club together, nothing else. We changed schools after our Sophomore year. I met her again a couple of months ago here. Now we’re friends again. She’s very talented, and I like listening to her music, that’s it. Friendship, nothing more.” He explained, hoping that she would see how genuine he was being. Seconds later, he felt their hands intertwine, and he leaned forward to kiss the brunette.

So far, so good.

--------------------------

The gyms at Ohio State weren’t that bad; Ryder immensely enjoyed them. They even had a sauna room which seemed incredible, especially after a long workout. Exercising with one of his best friends was a good idea for an afternoon and a nice replacement for canceled football practice.

“So, if this NFL trial goes well, I might be leaving at the end of the year. Not a big deal.” Nathan, Ryder’s college best friend, smiled at the brunette when they finished running on the treadmills. Both of them rushed towards the dumbbells.

“I’m super happy for you, bro. I think you’ll crush it!” Ryder was genuinely happy for his buddy succeeding; he was a killer player, so he deserved it more than anyone.

“What about you?”

“What about me…” Ryder repeated, grabbing two of the middle dumbbells, he wasn’t going to start with the heaviest ones to avoid injury. He did a few lifts before answering, “I don’t think I’ll ever be a pro player. I mean, I’m not even in the main squad. I wanna graduate, and find a nice job, whether it’s here or somewhere else.” He shrugged and kept on exercising. They both spoke about the games a little bit when Nathan said,

“Oh I forgot to tell you. Felicia had lunch with Mary last night. She saw you and Marley this week, and she wasn’t happy about it.”

Ryder frowned, “Yeah, she texted me about it. I don’t see her problem, we had brunch and talked about school. Nothing too special.” He added, placing the dumbbells where they belonged, and then started doing stretches. Nathan joined him.

“Look, I’m not saying she’s right, but you two.” He pointed at Ryder, “You and the blue-eyed lady have this kind of vibe.” He exaggerated the last word, looking Ryder in the eye.

“We’re friends. I’m allowed to have friends. I’m not going to give up my friendship with Marley because Felicia seems insecure. I’ll explain that it was nothing serious; it will be fine.” Ryder lifted himself and headed towards the other room. He wasn’t planning on dwelling on the topic for too long, the issue wasn’t worth it.

Nathan seemed not convinced but remained quiet.

----------------------

Ryder kept staring at his phone as he checked if he’d borrowed all the necessary books from the library; the notes option was a lifesaver. Sophomore year had just started, and he was ready to learn more. He’d managed to finish the first one with a B grade which was a huge success. Even if his tutoring sessions were still set, they happened less often as his teacher was delighted with his achievements. When he was leaving the library, he almost bumped into someone. Damn, he shouldn’t be so focused on his phone, “Uh sorry…” He mumbled and lifted his eyes to see a familiar face, “Uh...hey...hey, Felicia. Hi.” He gave her an awkward nod before adjusting his backpack’s strap.

“Hey, Ryder. How was your summer?” She asked with a slight smile on his face.

Summer. Right. They hadn’t spoken for a few months. He’d spent the past summer with Marley and helped her mom at the bakery. While he’d been away from the university, he’d completely forgotten about the past year’s problems.

“Uh, it was alright. I was resting...and all that stuffs. How was yours? Everything alright?” He knew he sounded awkward, but it couldn’t be helped. Ryder wasn’t an expert when it came to these situations.

Luckily for him, his ex-girlfriend was way better at them, “It was great. I spent a month in France with my friends.” She responded with a small nod.

Ryder flashed her an awkward smile and was ready to move before she spoke again, “I saw you two yesterday. You looked very happy.” She told him, a genuine tone in her voice.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, staring at his feet. He wasn’t sure if he was even supposed to answer, “Yeah…” He replied quietly.

“For the record, I think you’re great together. You deserve it, Ry; you’re a good guy.” She touched his shoulder, causing him to smile. Okay, so this was going way better than he’d expected. Of course, they hadn’t ended up on good terms, but maybe there was a chance to fix this. They’d see each other in class for the next few years, after all.

“Thanks. I hope you’ll find someone that makes you happy.” Ryder responded, a smile still present on his face. The past few weeks felt like a dream come true, so maybe it was apparent how ecstatic he was.

“Oh, don’t worry. I got this.” She winked at him before moving past his shoulder, “I’ll see you around.”

Ryder gave her an awkward wave and started walking towards the exit. He pulled out his phone and typed a quick message to Marley “Lunch on me :) Let’s hang out!! Can’t wait to see you again :)”.

It was quite a decent start to their Sophomore year.

#self para #para: one of us #//here's young alberto as young ryder #//also apologies for my crap writing #eventwhatif

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eloarei · 3 years

Text

A little rambling: on grief; and grieving a dog, a cat, an unborn child, and pieces of me that got hurt along the way.

2300 words under the cut.

It’s a very gloomy day today. I don’t usually mind; I like rain. But on a bad day, or a bad week, it only seems to insulate me in my own dark thoughts. That’s what today seems to be. I’ll work on fixing it later-- getting some exercise, sunlight if the clouds clear, making some tea. Should’ve done that already, but I forgot. Ate half a banana, at least.

As I’ve complained about a few times lately, I’ve just not been doing especially well. When and why did it all start? It’s hard to say, but this ‘unwellness’ spell seems most potent starting April 11th (my anniversary, unfortunately, which is why I can remember it), when I came down with a gruesome stomach bug. Really haven’t been feeling right since. I’m really bad about being sick; it scares me and I handle it badly. I assume that’s part of what has messed me up.

But grief is the other part, I think. Grief, and my being scared and worried that what caused it could strike again at any minute. Look, I’m... 32 now, and I’m sure that most people by this age have experienced profound loss. I’m probably not unusual, and I’m certainly not alone, but I think all the loss I’ve experienced is just piling up on me now, like there wasn’t enough time to process the new fresh ones before newer fresher ones came on, and so now even the old tough scars are aching.

When I was a teenager, my parents died. They were old, and it was health problems. It was not a surprise, but that didn’t make it easier to deal with in freshman year of high school. (What made it easier to deal with? Rabidly cleaning out the fridge and watching Lord of the Rings tapes the neighbors lent me. That’s all I did for three days after my mom died.) It’s been a long time-- more than half my life ago-- and I do feel like I’m ‘over it’, but sometimes it just wells up, tears from nowhere. Maybe that’s just how grief is.

A certainly had a good decade of my 20′s. I got married at 19, and had a pretty uneventful set of years. That felt normal to me. I do think, though, that the loss of my parents haunted me in that time, quietly. It influenced everything I did; it probably still does, if only because it changed the person I have become. But other than that, things were good, I think. My dog Roxy died two years ago, when I was 30, not long after I got back from seeing my siblings for the first time in ages. She was violently ill, and died right in front of us as we were getting ready to take her to the vet. I think I’ve written about it. In fact, the next day I wrote a depressing fanfic piece, certainly as a coping mechanism. (It made people cry, so, mission accomplished, I guess.) I think that helped a lot. A few months later, my in-laws’ dog died too, while mom-in-law was on vacation, and that was rough as well. I wrote another sad fanfic about death. I really like both of these pieces, because they mean something, and they’re very raw. Furthermore, I’ll always have them, as tokens for Roxy, Ginger, and the little pieces of me they crushed when they died. I don’t know if the exchange is worth it, but it’s what I have.

My grief over Roxy was gentle, as time went on. It didn’t bother me. I think I’d processed it well. I’d written out my feelings. I held her body in numb arms as my husband dug her grave. It was okay.

In early 2020, basically on my 31st birthday (and right as Covid was happening), I found I was pregnant. Long story short, those were the densest two months of my life, where everything seemed to change so quickly. My thoughts and feelings could fill so very many pages; this is not the place I’ll leave them. The point of this particular story is that it didn’t work out. The baby ‘died’ not terribly unlike Roxy had-- violently ill, in front of me, with far too much blood. I passed out three times-- the real start of this current fearful nature, because I cannot overstate how very much I felt like I was going to die. I went to the ER; it was miserable, an ordeal I could say quite a lot about. I won’t, though. I have before, and I likely will again, elsewhere.

This... This grief... I think I still don’t know what to do with it. I don’t think I ever will. Months later, I started writing a fic to deal with my feelings, though it took 90k words and many months before I got to the part where I could really delve into my trauma. And it has helped, I’m sure. I’m really sure. And I care about this fic so much, because like the others it is raw and real and it’s something I’d never have if not for my experience. Again, it may not be a fair trade, but it’s what I have.

I don’t grieve for the baby. It didn’t make it far enough to even have a heartbeat. It doesn’t have a name, a gender. It doesn’t have a grave. We let the hospital take care of it. But I still grieve. I’m sad. Wrecked. I grieve what it could have been. I grieve the hope that was spent and lost on it, a precious resource that will take a long time to grow back, if ever. I grieve over not only my own disappointment, but my husband’s, and my in-laws. They’ve never pressured us to have kids, but they’re in their 60′s now, with no grandchildren. I think they feel... lacking, in a way. I understand. I feel the same (though different). I wanted to give them that. I wanted to have that.

I still....?

I can’t say. I don’t know what I want. The event complicated my already complex emotions. I’m still waiting for them to simplify. Maybe they will, or maybe they won’t.

I was alright for a while. Stressed enough because of Covid and family’s declining health. Then in early April 2021, just a year after the miscarriage, I got badly sick. Gross, but not what most people would call a real issue. But only a year after the miscarriage, when my body betrayed me and I was at its horrid mercy, this felt like too much. Again I felt like I was going to die. A week of near delirious fever and nausea; I’d have handled it badly enough in any other circumstance.

As expected, I got through it. A horrible week, but just a week (or so). And then my dog Tobi died, just days later.

This is it. This is the one I... I’m speechless about. The one I... maybe haven’t processed enough. I was just back from the edge of being badly, violently ill. I didn’t have the energy to write, physically or emotionally. And that just made it worse. I love writing. It’s my outlet (surprising, I’m sure). I wanted to write. I thought I ought to write. I needed to write. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t muster the words. I still... can’t.

Tobi was... my baby. Not literally, of course. I didn’t conflate him with my lost child or anything. Tobi was 14. I’d had him since I graduated high school and got an apartment. Adopting him was one of the first things my husband and I did as an established adult couple, before we were even married. He was there, at my wedding. The photographer took a cute picture of me holding him before the ceremony. He was 11 months old at the time. Still had all his brown spots before they turned tan, then later white. He was there; he was always there. He was my entire adult life. And now I’ve lost him, the pup I had longer than my marriage (though soon we will outlast him). He was the big brother to all my other pets. He practically raised all the cats, and they adored him. (Tobi was a chihuahua, so they might have thought he was just another cat.)

He was a sweet boy, who loved his mom and dad first and foremost. When he was little, he was scared of everyone else. Eventually he warmed up to strangers and friends, and in his old age he mostly liked to nap somewhere on his own. He was silly and playful; he always chased the cats when they wanted to be chased. It was a game they all loved.

The vet... well, we took him in when he started to cough badly. He’d had a cough for a few months, but it wasn’t constant and didn’t seem to be affecting his quality of life much. But that day it was bad, so we took him. (We can’t afford frequent vet visits, so this was clearly desperate.) The vet took him and put him on oxygen. We had to stay in the car because they weren’t open for human guests. Then she came and told us a scan had revealed cancer, marbled through his lungs. He was suffocating. In fact, he wouldn’t likely even make it home, not even the two mile drive. We had to put him down. My husband and I cried like babies. We’d never put an animal down before. Generally speaking, we don’t really ‘believe in it’, if that makes sense. But faced with this situation, we had no choice.

I didn’t see him again. I think that’s the worst part, though it would have been equally bad to see him, I think. And it was all so sudden. He was playing and chasing the cats the day before. Begging for treats of human food. Barking at the Roomba. And then I had to pay hundreds of dollars to say goodbye to him. It felt so unfair. I cried all day. My husband and I, we just went home and laid down and wept.

But I still haven’t written about it, not in the way that I wrote about the others. For all that I wrote here, it doesn’t begin to encompass my deeper feelings on what it means that he is gone, and how I felt to have to make that decision. I have ideas. I think I know what I would write, if I could, but writing... still mostly eludes me. I may try. I probably should.

I take a deep breath. I know I should sum this up and take care of myself, but there’s yet a little more to say.

I think Tobi’s death is a large part of what affects me still, but several weeks ago I had what I could only call a panic attack. In the middle of the night I awoke, my heart beating rapidly, a horrible feeling of dread like certainty that all I could possibly do was die. It took over two days for me to feel mostly normal again, and then I still felt vaguely nauseous for two weeks. Then, just a few days ago, it happened again, but this time before bed. I could feel it rising in me, this indescribable sickness. It took several days ago before I felt normal. And this is where I am now.

Sadly, a little while after the first panic attack, my husband and I failed to save a malnourished feral kitten. It was not a surprise, but yet one more reminder of the fragility of life, and how little I can do to keep death away from those I care about. This poor thing, it was so desperate to live, but nothing we could do could save it. I could have poured all my time into trying, could have scrounged up money to take it to the vet (when I should take my own cats, who all have colds), but I know better. I know... so much of the time, there’s nothing you can do. And now I’m trying to help what might be its siblings, a few cute feral kittens nearby. My favorite seems... a little lethargic, and not very interested in eating the wet food and meat scraps I sometimes bring by. I don’t think there’s anything I can do, if it ends up being sick, if it ends up being malnourished. I can’t bring it inside when it could infect my own cats. I have to care for them first.

But knowing that it could die... it bothers me.

And knowing that I could die. I could die. I’m too aware of that, on top of everything else. I hate doctors, so I never go. (Also I’m poor.) This toothache? Could be a terrible abscess. My brother went to the ER for sepsis from an abscess tooth recently! That’s probably what caused the panic, to be honest. But then... why have I felt so week? Is there a problem with my blood? Am I sicker than I know? Do I have breast cancer? My grandma did, and I know I should get it checked out, but it’s just ONE MORE THING. It’s always like that.

And that’s... how I feel right now. Covered in ‘one more thing’s on rainy days and night-work schedules. Trying to take care of myself but not always knowing what that means. Lacking the inspiration to do the things I know I enjoy, because worry and apathy holds me back from everything.

I’m okay. Really. No day of mine is ever entirely without merit, and I have plans to do most of the things that should keep me healthy. But the day is short when my needs and long, and the day is long when I’m paralyzed by apathy.

So. I’ll just take it a moment at a time. And when I can, I’ll try to keep writing.

#elo talks #long post #personal but ok to interact

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theos-writing · 4 years

Text

EDS Chess headcanons

me? projecting? yes. i thought it'd be nice to bring a different type of diversity to the fandom and i can really see Chess having eds, so i thought it would be nice to come out with my hcs. slight warning, this is very long

for those who dont know: Ehlers Danlos Syndrom (EDS) is a genetic connective tissue disorder that affects collagen, that is one of the main proteins of the body and is in charge of keeping us together. there are thirteen types of EDS, but overall, the main symptoms are: joint weakness and fragility, stretchy and fragile skin, and chronic pain. people with EDS, if they do any sports, usually have a short career in them, since growth spurts or short periods of time without exercise can make them lose muscle mass easily, and in consequence, not have the compensation for their weak joints and end up feeling pain and dislocate things easily. wanna learn more go to this site (The Ehlers Danlos Society)

this is mainly based on my experiences. eds is different for each person.

Riley never did the stabby thing au

TW: addiction, injury, doctors, medicine and medical exams

Chess had a terrible balance when she was little

she was always falling and getting hurt

so her parents decided to sign her up for gymnastics when she was about four

she was really good at it

the teachers did say she had hypermobility

it wasnt a problem tho, it could even make her a better gymnast if she wanted to keep going!

at the beginning, she got hurt a lot

she twisted her ankles and complained of pain

everyone just brushed it off as growing pains and said that as she got stronger, she would get better

and she did!

for a long time, she had nearly no pain and only dislocated a couple joints

but when she was about twelve, that started getting worse

she was feeling her joints go out of place more often and she was feeling more pain

at this point, she doesnt want to tell anyone

all the pain was just growth pain, they would stop one day

until she started having this weird pain on her shoulder. it wouldnt go away, no matter how long she put ice on it or how she trained. it wasnt stopping.

she was fourteen and on the beginning of freshman year when that happened.

after a while, the pain was just a normal thing for her

it was annoying as hell and she hated it, but she wasnt going to let it stop her gymnastics

so she kept training.

but the pain started spreading. her other shoulder, her elbows and wrists

it was getting hard to write

but she could write on the computer so that didnt affect her studies

she was more concerned about gymnastics

she was amongst the top ranked on the country

even in her worst event, she was still in third place

she couldnt give up now

so she ignored the pain

until she couldnt anymore.

Chess was just practicing when she felt this massive pain shot up her shoulder

she let go of the high bar and fell

the way she landed, half on her feet, half falling down took a turn on her knee

she felt it leave the place where it was supposed to be and she screamed

her knee was nearly on the side of her leg

she panicked, not because of the pain, but because she knew what this meant: her career as a gymnast was over before it had even started

she was fifteen, a sophomore in high school, one of the youngest people recruited for the next olympics

now, all that was over

knowing that hurt more than her knee

Chess needed surgery so they could fix it

and at least four months of rehab to get it to normal use again

but as she thought, no more gymnastics. ever.

she cried for days. if she didnt have gymnastics, what did she have?

then one day, after a really bad pain crisis, she was given vicodin

it felt... good. so she accepted the next time they offered her. and whenever they would ask after, she always had pain.

it wasnt a lie. she had a lot of pain. and with weeks of bed rest, she was developing more and more pain areas. her back, her hips, her ankles, her neck, everything hurt

but she didnt need meds for it. she needed meds so she could fill up that void inside her

she recovered, partially. she still used crutches for months

finally, two months before the end of the year, she was back to walking normally and even doing p.e.

so she decided to try out for the cheer team. it wasnt gymnastics, but it was better than nothing

Kate tried out with her and also quit gymnastics for her

"a best friend wont let you suffer on your own" she said

they both got in, and when they went back to school after the summer, Chess was already fully healed

but she didnt stop with the meds

she would say she knows what happened that year but for her its all a blur her mind blocked out

she dropped Farrah, she knew that, and the younger girl hated her for it

to be honest, Chess also did. she hurt someone, even if not on purpose, she hurt someone. if Farrah landed weird she could've hurt herself as much as Chess did or even die and that would be on Chess.

so for a while she agreed to try to stop

but the pain and the withdrawals were too much

so she went back to it

until the next year. after the sleepover. after what Kate said.

and it was hard. so hard. but she made it through a day, then a week, and a month, and it got a bit easier.

the only thing that got to her was the pain. where the hell was the pain coming from

she refused to take any pain meds for it, she was scared she would slide back. she dealt with that pain for so long, it couldnt be that bad

but it was. she was starting to subluxate and dislocate things almost every week

after another scare with her knee, the school board and her parents decided it would be better if she went off the team

she was distraught again.

but now, what they wanted were answers. they went to doctor after doctor after doctor for months. no one really believed her

she researched and looked for answers on her own until she came across EDS

it sounded... like her. the pain, the dislocations, the short lived life in gymnastics, the skin that would always end up with massive scars, the hypermobility she had since a young age

she talked to her parents about that, and they agreed to take her to a geneticist

she was terrified going to that appointment

she was scared the geneticist would say what everyone else did, tell her its for attention or for the meds

but she listened. she listened while they told Chess' story and their family health history. she did a physical exam and didnt say anything until they were done talking

then she said Chess was right. she did have EDS.

Chess cried when she was told that. she finally had a diagnosis. she wasnt crazy, she wasnt faking it. she had an actual illness

it did mean she would most likely feel pain for the rest of her life, tho

but it also meant she could stop with the E.R. visits and the dirty looks from doctors and the countless blood tests and scans that got them no where

that didnt mean no scans or blood work, but those meant something. those were now to check if she was alright, not to check if she was telling the truth. and it felt so good

she told Kate right when she got home

at first she was scared, but they spent all night reading the articles Chess' doctor had sent to them and watching videos of other people with EDS, and she wasnt scared anymore. not as much anyways

#wow this was long #but im proud of it :)#chess watt #we are the tigers #we are the tigers musical #we are the tigers headcanons #kate watt #kate dalton #nix writes #addiction tw #doctors tw

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justniaaa · 4 years

Text

Unravel Me (3)

Rating: 18+ NSFW

Work Count: 3.8k

Pairing: Christopher “Rio” Martinez x black!oc

Warning: Panic attack, anxiety, self doubt, swearing, use of the “n” word

A/N: Hey loves! So excited to finally share the third chapter with you all! Forgive me for the late posting, I wanted to be a post once a week type of writer but that seems to be not the case, especially with my semester starting soon and a new job being in the works. But please bare with me, I will try and make sure you guys get content even if it’s not consistent. Thank you for reading my story and please like, comment and reblog. Alright enough of my ramblings, Enjoy and happy reading! <3

Summary: Toni forms an unsuspecting friendship with Christopher that turns into something more. As her feelings towards him continue to grow she starts to unravel the secrets that surround him and in return, he unravels her completely.

Chapter 3: Welcome back

“Finally,” Toni said with relief as she pulled up in her Honda Accord at Lux. She made sure to get to the bar early and was happy when she got there with five minutes left to spare. Taking a moment to herself before going in, she tried to occupy her mind with checking her hair and makeup in the rearview mirror. Try as she must, doubt began to settle in the forefront of her mind, in if she was making the right decision.

Toni felt her heart begin to beat faster and faster. Out of breath, and body hot she turned her AC on at full blast, Dr. Simone’s instructions ringing in her head.

--------------------------------Flashback------------------------------------------

Now Antonia if you ever feel like you’re going to have an anxiety attack, I want you to try this breathing exercise called “Calming Breath”.”

Toni listened to her therapist Dr. Simone with rapt attention, “Honestly doc, I’ll take anything to just stop this shit, excuse my french.”

Dr. Simone chuckled, amused by her slip up. “No need to apologize, Antonia. How many times do I have to tell you this is a place where you can express yourself freely without judgment?”

“I know, I know.”

“Now like I was saying before, I want you to try an exercise called “Calming Breath.” What that entails is you taking a long, slow breath through your nose, and holding your breath to the count of three then exhaling slowly through your lips. It should help you relax your muscles in your face, shoulders, and stomach. We can practice a couple of times if you would like.”

Toni shook her head in understanding, “Thanks doc, but I think I got it.” After a few seconds of silence, Dr. Simone gave her a knowing look. “But just in case I don’t have it, can you repeat the steps again?

----------------------End of flashback-------------------------------------------

Hearing Dr. Simone’s directions, Toni began her breathing exercises, breathe in, hold, breathe out. She did the steps a couple more times until she slowly felt her heartbeat go back to normal. Softly smiling Toni was proud of herself for getting her anxiety in check until she looked at the clock on her dashboard.

She had two minutes until her shift started.

“Fuck, I can’t be late when I’m literally sitting right in front of the place”

Toni made sure she had all her belongings and shut off the ignition, quickly hopping out and closing her car door. Walking to the entrance, she took in the building, like every bar it looked mediocre in the daytime, with its red brick and black awning. But at night that’s when it’s beauty really shined especially when they turned on the fairy lights outside that gave the establishment a welcoming shine. She reached the entrance and was debating if she should walk-in or call Avery, but before she could decide the door swung open, almost hitting her in the face.

“Woah!” Toni said, quickly jumping back and almost breaking her neck in the process from her heeled boots.

“Oh, shit my fault ma!”

Toni heard a low voice apologize as she was looking down at her scuffed boots. Anger and embarrassment flooded through her, she was angry because her boots had white marks all over them and embarrassed because of course, this would happen to her of all people.

“Shit, you not crying right? Your shoes are fire but they not worth your tears.”

Is this nigga for real?

Toni finally looked up to show the man she wasn’t having a breakdown, “First of all, I’m not crying, I'm pissed and second of all the door is literally glass how did yo-?!”

“Oh shit Antonia?!”

Startled by the interruption, she stared confused at how he knew her name. A few seconds passed until the realization set in after she took in his dark skin and short box braids. He’s had the same hairstyle since college.

“Sean?!”

“Yoo! I can’t believe it’s you!” Sean came in for a hug as Toni stood there in shock, her hands came up awkwardly to hug him back. “It’s good to see you girl! How you been?!”

I’m emotionally damaged, I haven’t had sex in months and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.

“I’m good, and I go by Toni now mostly. How are you?”

Sean shook his head, “My fault, my fault.”

Her question wasn’t answered as Sean took a step back, eyes roving over her body. He had a smirk on his lips as he took in her black sheer top, fitted black jeans, and her slightly damaged snake print block heeled boots. “Damn Ant- I mean Toni, you look even better than you did in college.”

Toni was grateful that he caught himself and at the same time she sucked her teeth. “You are so full of shit, reminds me of back in the day when you would flirt with all the girls in our Humanities class, and Honey would get pissed at you for it.”

His smirk noticeably dropped, showcasing that her sister was a sore topic. Trying to lighten the mood Toni bumped him with her hip, “Anyways, I can’t believe you still work here, looking cute with your all black ensemble on.” He was wearing black, from the t-shirt to the jeans and even his Vans.

It reminds me of a certain someone.

“You know how I do.” He told her, popping his faux collar, “My I.T hours are slim to none sometimes, so a couple of months ago I asked Avery for work to keep me above water.”

Toni let out a harsh breath, “That’s why I’m here too, I just hope I can remember my orders, hell even how to make drinks properly...”

Sean nodded and wrapped his arm around Toni’s shoulders, noticing her growing unease. “Hey, no need to be nervous. You know this bar like the back of your hand and from what I remember I know you would’ve brushed up on your skills before you even thought about calling Avery for a job. I got your back, with whatever, so stop worrying about stupid shit.”

Toni looked up at him and saw the sincerity on his face. When they met freshman year he always treated her like a sibling, making sure to help her out if she ever needed him.

“You getting soft on me nigga?” Toni asked, breaking the sappiness between them. She lightly punched his stomach, making Sean playfully wince in pain. She laughed and wrapped her arm around his side, “Damn, you really are soft Sean.”

“Shut up killa, before I tell Avery on you for being rude to his favorite employee.”

“Now that I’m back, I think that title comes back to me,” Toni gestured to herself.

“Fuck out of here.”

They both chuckled as they walked to the entrance, the joking continuing between the old friends.

********************************************************************************************

Toni had been at the bar for hours, and like Sean said she quickly got back into the swing of things. When she walked in three minutes late because of her small catch up with him, she was worried Avery was going to wring her neck especially since it was technically her first day. But all he did was yell out, “Toni, baby welcome back!” His New York accent prominent.

The Italian man looked mostly the same if not a little gray on the edges of his once all black hair. The last time she saw him he didn’t have crinkles near his eyes when he smiled but Toni thought they fit him perfectly. Avery had a small belly now and wore a red dress shirt that was rolled up at the sleeves, showcasing his tattoo of his favorite pinup girl Bettie Page on his forearm. After all these years he still hadn’t strayed from the black slacks always saying, “The color never shows the stains of a bad night.” After introducing Toni to the rest of her coworkers he went to the backroom to meet with some associates, letting her know he would be back to help out later.

It was ten o’clock and Rihanna’s Work was playing in the bar, making the mass of people sway to the music and talk with drinks in their hands. The crowd seemed to not be getting any smaller and Toni was taking people’s drink orders as she was making other customers drinks. She didn’t remember it being this busy on just a regular Wednesday night, but she could guess as areas started to get more gentrified the crowds began to change.

The hanging lights gave Lux an intimate glow but provided enough light for people to see each other. Stools were lined up in front of the bar, and they were all filled with customers, laughing and drinking, some of them eating onion rings and french fries or whatever other bar snacks that were served. The wooden booths that were along the wall, gave patrons the option to be more personal and away from the crazy that was the bar counter.

“Hey Toni, I need a pitcher of Budweiser,” Rosa, her coworker, stood next to her, her voice was slightly raised because she was trying to be heard over the volume of the chatter.

“Gotcha babe,” Toni got out the plastic container and put it under the spigot, pulling the lever. As the brownish-gold liquid poured, she looked out into the mob, watching individuals coming in and out of Lux. Sean was vaguely seen from where she was standing, checking ID at the door. Toni stopped the stream of beer and turned to Rosa, handing her the pitcher, “Thank you!” The blue-haired woman said with a smile, leaving to go tend to her customer.

Toni was about to put her hand out to stop Rosa before she got too far. Wanting to let her know she was going to take her fifteen-minute break, when she heard, “Can I get a Jack on the rocks?”

Toni frowned, in confusion at hearing the deep voice that had been on her mind for the past several days. Was she thinking about him too much, that she conjured him up somehow? She slowly turned to the individual that never failed to give her goosebumps whenever she laid eyes on him. In his usual calm demeanor, Chris was sitting at the bar, looking at her with a raised brow and smirk playing on his lips.

And he looked good, really fucking good.

He had on a black button-up and a chain around his neck that made the eagle tattoo on his neck stand out on his tan skin. She didn’t know if it was possible but he looked even better than when she saw him last.

Fuck me.

Toni bit her lip from her sinful thoughts and got a glass from behind the bar, beginning to make his drink. She glanced up and saw him watching her with his dark eyes, making her downcast her gaze. Not wanting him to notice her slightly shaking hands as she got ice out of the chest, Toni finally spoke, “Well, look who's back.” she said while she poured the liquor into the chilly glass.

Chris looked amused as she put the drink down in front of him and in the process of releasing it his hand came up, holding onto the glass as well, making his fingers come in contact with hers.

“Missed me?” He asked both of their hands still on the drink and unmoving as they checked each other out.

Toni shrugged, “Hardly.”

“I think my feelings would be hurt if I actually believed you ma.”

Toni grinned at his words, “How was work? I didn’t think you would be back so soon.”

“Cut ties with some of my partners for fucking up the numbers, but shit is all good now.”

Toni went to reply when suddenly Avery came up next to Chris, he put a broad hand on his shoulder, “Toni I didn’t know you knew Rio.”

She moved her hand away from Chris’s touch and picked up the rag that was on the counter, cleaning up the sticky bar top. Toni felt like Avery caught her hand in the cookie jar and from his knowing look, it seemed like Avery might have the same sentiment as well.

Toni cleared her throat, “We just met, actually.” She didn’t really understand where the hell “Rio” came from when she had been calling him “Chris” for the past several weeks.

“Well let me introduce you two then, Rio this is Toni my returning employee and one of the best damn bartenders, I’ve ever had and Toni this is Rio, the co-owner of Lux and your boss,” Avery said making introductory motions between the two.

Toni’s eyes widened and she stopped fake wiping the counter. My boss?! How many businesses did this man have?

“That shits all semantics Avery, you're the real boss of this place. I’m just here to be a helping hand,” Chris said, giving Toni a pointed look, showing her that it wasn’t as simple as it seemed.

“I suppose.” Avery patted Chris’s shoulder again with a grin, then turned to Toni once more, “I think it’s time for your fifteen Toni the crew and I can handle it if another wave comes in.”

Toni nodded, “Thanks Avery, and nice to meet you, Rio,” she said sickly sweet. Toni left the rag on the counter and squeezed behind Rosa, leaving from behind the bar. She took a look behind her and saw Chris and Avery talking and her usually chill boss didn’t seem all that happy. Toni walked outside, seeing Sean sitting on a chair, his fingers moving quickly on his iPhone. He looked over when he saw her walk out, and gave her a smile displaying his pearly whites. “I was right, wasn’t I? Shit was like you never left.”

“Yes negro, you were right.” Toni said leaning against the window, her feet becoming achy.

“You can take my seat sis. I need to be standing anyway or Avery will have my ass if he catches me sitting again.”

Toni laughed, “Thanks.”

Sean got up and let her sit down, standing in silence. He kept glancing over to her while opening his mouth and closing it like he wanted to ask Toni something. After the third time of this, Toni sighed, “What Sean?”

“Nothin, Nothin…”

She gave him a sour look until he finally broke, “What’s with the name change?” Sean put his hands up in mock surrender, “Don’t get me wrong Honey and some of your friends called you Toni but you’ve never told anyone that they had to do the same.”

Toni went for nonchalance not wanting to alarm him, “I just thought Toni was better, it definitely helps with the awkwardness of people calling me Antonio all the time until I corrected them.” She thought that would be enough for Sean, because what she said made total sense but Toni was very, very wrong.

“Bullshit,” Sean said, making her mouth fall open.

“What do you mean, bullshit!?”

“You loved watching people get red in the face when you corrected them, so whatchu sayin’ is bullshit. We haven’t seen each other in a minute but I still know you, so give me the real reason before I call Latoya.”

They both knew her mom couldn’t hold water sometimes and even if she didn’t know the real reason, Toni didn’t want Sean talking to her and possibly unearthing secrets that she tried to keep buried for as long as possible. She took in a breath and crossed her arms. At first she didn’t know what to say to appease her old friend, as he waited for an explanation but she decided to stick to the truth as close as possible.

“I just wanted a change, I went through a hard time and to completely be rid of it, I made the decision to have people just call me Toni rather than Antonia. It really cemented for me that I was a different person than I was before.” Toni fiddled with a loose string on her jeans, “I mean my parents still call me Antonia and there are certain family members as well that do it too, but in my everyday life, I stick with Toni and the solace it gives me.”

Sean appeared satisfied with her answer, but Toni noticed there was a little squint to his eye like he knew that wasn’t the full truth but he let her statement stand.

“So, I’m probably hella corny for this and I know you won’t let me live this down but..”Sean outstretched his hand, “It’s nice to meet you, Toni.”

His expression was sincere and comical at the same time and it made Toni grin, “Nice to meet you too, Sean Puff Daddy Combs.”

Sean sucked his teeth, “Here we go with that Puff Daddy shit.”

A party of people came walking up as they were laughing, making Sean check their ID’s ending their conversation.

For a few minutes, Toni was scrolling through Instagram readying herself to go back inside soon when she saw Chris walk out of the bar. He was standing at the threshold and he seemed to be scanning the parking lot. When it appeared he didn’t find what he was looking for he went to turn back around, but he suddenly stopped when he saw Toni sitting in the corner.

Toni waved her hand, “Sup, Rio.”

Chris snickered and walked towards her, getting close enough that Toni could smell his cologne. He looked down at her as she looked up at him. “I can start calling you Rio if you prefer. I mean I have my own hang-up with my name, so it’s really fine,” she said.

“Nah,” He said, a matter of fact.

He didn’t supply any other explanation so Toni gave a soft “Okay,” and leaned back into the chair. Sean gave Chris a head nod as he kept doing his job and telling an apparent drunk couple, that they couldn’t come into the bar, much to their dismay.

“I didn’t know you had a problem with your name, I’ve been calling you Antonia since we met,” Toni turned her attention back on him, taking notice that he had a blunt in his hand and was lighting it up with a skull covered lighter. His gold rings glimmered from the lights coming from the windows of the bar.

“It’s my own personal shit, but shockingly I don’t mind hearing it from you.”

“Is that right?” Chris said. He took a hit and held in the smoke until he released it into the cool air, through his nose and mouth. Toni was mesmerized by the tendrils of smoke, she didn’t understand how he made even smoking attractive but everything Chris did turned her on. He offered her the blunt, probably thinkings that’s why she was staring but Toni declined, not really into smoking much like she used to because of a bad trip she had years ago.

“You probably think I’m weird as hell, that I pick and choose what people can address me as.”

“Nah I get it, some believe knowing a person’s real name makes you have power over them.”

Toni knitted her brow, “Do you believe that?” she asked him. Chris took another hit and rubbed his beard like he was mulling over the question.

“I tell my associate’s my name is Rio ‘cause I don’t want them to get to close, too familiar. When they start to get too comfortable and start to think we friends or some shit than that interferes with my business and I can’t have that.” Chris began playing with his rings like it was a tick of his that he probably never noticed he had, “So yeah I think having knowledge of someone's name can have some sort of power.”

She sighed and crossed her leg, “I think I agree with you, but if you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you care about me knowing your real name? It's not like we’re exactly friends.”

“Oh shit, we not?” Chris said feigning shock, “ Damn mama that’s fucked up.”

Toni rolled her eyes, “Oh please.”

Chris grinned at her and licked his lips, throwing the finished blunt on the floor and ashing it under his black and white Converse. “You’re different and if you gonna be my girl, I think it’s best if you know who I really am right?”

“Your girl? You haven’t even taken me out on a date, so how in the hell am I going to be your girl?”

“Right, Right,” Chris said. His phone began to ring and he took it out of his dark blue jeans and muted it, his eyes never straying from Toni. “So let me take you out this Friday.”

Toni snorted thinking he was joking but stopped short when she realized that he didn’t even crack a smile, “Wait you’re serious?”

“Dead ass”

Chris’s phone rang again and this time he did look at it, with an evident scowl. Abruptly he said, “I gotta go Antonia, but I’ll text you the details,” Chris kissed Toni’s cheek and turned to leave, in the process he took his keys out of his pocket.

Toni’s eyes were wide as hell at what just happened. She blinked a couple of times to get out of the fog that took over her mind and noticed that he was almost to his Range Rover.

As he walked further away Toni yelled out, “Wait I don’t even have your number!”

He took a look over his shoulder, “It’s straight, I got yours!”

She went to nod then paused, “Wait, what?!”

Toni heard Chris laugh as he got into his car, turning it on. He sped out of the parking lot, leaving her to watch his taillights disappear into the LA traffic. Sean came over to where she was sitting and heavily sighed fatigue, and annoyance relevant in his form. “Got damn, did you see how fucked up they were? Imma have to tell Avery I need help ‘cause I can’t take ID’s and pat them down while babysitting grown-ass adults. Fuck that shit.”

Toni didn’t say anything, her thoughts still on what transpired seconds before. Sean took notice of the silence and softly elbowed his friend, used to her having a sarcastic quip. “You good? What did I miss?”

I’m going on date,” Toni said, feeling a glimmer of happiness.

Tag list: @aria725 @kikilovesdankmemes @briannab1234

#rio good girls #rio x oc #rio black!oc #rio good girls imagine #manny montana #manny montana imagine #myfic #chapter 3 #unravel me #interracial fic #rioxoc #rioxblack!oc fanfic #nbc good girls

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