#but I don't regret ofc

[bob-mirum]

My humanity was restored in fact I just really want more content with engie and who else but me can please myself

[beanghostprincess]

I think constantly about Pudding and Sanji being obviously parallels of each other and how fucked up it is that Pudding had to live the life Sanji managed to escape but she constantly gets hate online as if she hadn't been literally manipulated by her mother through the whole fucking arc. But okay. Yes. God forbid women have any sort of trauma response and if they do they're not allowed to have a redemption arc because of course they're extremely evil for making your silly baby boy cry and they don't have a heart even though it's explicitly shown in screen that they do and they regret their past actions.

[theredcuyo]

"Why would you do all of this for me even after all i did to you?!"

"Because i love you, the you that it's really behind all of it, the you that you fight not to show to the world but that i've seen before anyway"

Is such a raw line that i asure you, if it's present in a fic, not necessary letter by letter, but in sentiment, then that's a good fucking fic

Wheter platonic or romantic

[tinystepsforward]

ngl it makes me want to die a little bit that it's so often trans people who feel that sex is mutable but oppression is always-forever based on asab in ways that allow them to demand that information from other trans people. like it feels fucking bad. it feels bad when it's people holding up someone who posts a lot of selfies as transition goals to a degree they have to clarify what they have or haven't done or what "direction" they're going in, it feels worse when people are out there like "caster semenya is not tma" or whatever the fuck. i am, as always, not a trans woman, but here's a sentiment echoed by many of the trans women around me who log the fuck off, quoted directly from one: "people who draw a clear line where they say that semenya or khelif are tme and then call me tma are just calling me male at this point".

like i get it. i really do. we seek community and shared experiences, and we feel betrayed when people have less in common with us than we thought they did. [*more on this later.] but that's not those people's faults and my god in the case i'm seeing play out on twitter rn this poor person did absolutely nothing to intentionally mislead people, just posted pictures of their actual kid self. who looks a lot like i did, because shockingly enough "we can always tell" doesn't fucking work for trans people either!

on the one hand i move in intersex circles which are unapologetically welcoming in cis "dyadic" people with pcos, because it serves nobody to draw a clear line where mutilation or genetics or some ineffable childhood suffering are what make somebody intersex, especially when most of us (esp in places like nz) have never been karyotyped and are being treated for symptoms without a pinned-down cause anyway. the more of us there are the stronger we are, the more pressure we can exert on a medical profession which doesn't like to consider how common outliers are, how uneasy sex is at all. and then on the other hand there's dyadic trans people on the internet who've yelled me out of spaces because a couple of traumatised incarcerated trans women i worked with as a prison abolitionist assumed i was also a trans woman and i didn't immediately tell them my entire csa-involved history of being sexed in varying ways as an infant and child and/or exactly how big my phallus was at birth or where in my junk config my urethra lives so they could decide i was tme or whatever.

returning to the * for a related but not identical thought: i think presuming shared experiences leads to some fucked shit in general! "oh we all had a radfem phase" or "oh we all were channers" no we fucking weren't and it's particularly obnoxious when me & mine are trying to build trans community locally to organise and resist the growing wave of far-right backlash against our existence, and there's just white people in there on a spectrum from "straight up being antisemitic and trying to get the n-word pass" through "handwringing about how they need to make space for people who aren't politically correct" to "handwringing about how brown people are right to be mad at them but doing shit fuckall". and then the other fucking brown people in the space are on some identity politics shit where they're like "trans joy inherently excludes those of us who could get deported" or "big city white queers are killing us by being visible instead of going stealth bc it stirs up the discourse" or whatever the fuck i've heard pulled out this year. there's a bunch of reasons i primarily organise outside of trans spaces and that's one of them. i've never felt more alone in spaces where people claim we're all the same than being left as the brownest moderator or organiser in a space full of people to whom "this is a safe trans space" apparently means they get to abdicate all other responsibilities not to lapse into presumed shared patterns that are fucking racist or otherwise alienating. i've never felt more alone than surrounded by exclusively trans people who sort people into boxes and assume everyone in those boxes has the transition goals they have. like i was on cypro until it disagreed with me to the point of endocrine crisis and now i'm on t and at both those points people were so fucking presumptive or entitled to my reasons or journey or personal relationship w my body

literally just submitted on (and was invited to consult on) the nz law commission's review of the human rights act and like. it's straight up fucked how many nz trans people fully do not comprehend that any "sex assigned at birth" type definitions fundamentally exclude migrants who have no way of proving it and many intersex people who happen to have been reassigned later or many times or never assigned at all as a baby. we can't make law with this shit and that's why we have to have symmetrical protections for all genders/sexes/expressions/presentations, bc naming and defining a protected class here often leaves the people who already are left out from those shared experiences of marginalisation out in the cold when they face violence

[didderd]

Why you so cool?

Why?

And how?

Tell me your secrets.

TELL ME!

*holds a rubber duck at Tacs head*

Tell me or he's goin quackin!

Better yet!

*holds the Tourette squads hostage with rubber ducks. They just lay on the ground, being non-threatening.*

TELL THE WORLD THE SECRET OF BEING A DOPE ASS PERSON!

DFJNBKJKJDFNV

IDK! erm..

be a silly lil guy

have anxiety

draw skeletons

[music-for-them-asses]

Treating myself to a date night seeing Dune II in IMAX! Movies are used to be cheap 😵‍💫

[blitz0hno]

Relating to After Pain's lyrical content is so weird cuz like I'd still vote Muu guilty in trial one if I had Known but it's like part of her is genuinely so sad it turned out this way??

[daincrediblegg]

okay your turn if nobody else has asked: TOP FIVE JH CHARACTERS GO

... girl... how does one choose? how does one??? when there are so many beautiful boys??? ok. OK I'll give it a shot.

5. Captain Crow - The Sea Beast This film is just incredible on every front. One of my favorite concept artists worked on it (which I did not know until a few weeks ago but now that I know I feel like kicking myself because I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THEIR STYLE WELL ENOUGH BY NOW). But I remember watching this, and screaming when the credits began to roll because WAIT?!?!?! THAT WAS JARED HARRIS??? OH!!! WHAT A DELIGHT!!! I LOVE THAT GUY!!!! (oh babygirl wait a few months it's gonna hit you so bad). He's great. I hope we see more of him in the sequel that would be great for me.

4. Hari Seldon Honestly. What a little shit. "But Egg," you might ask "If he's such a little shit why is he on here?" well. He's hot. Really I am not over how hot this dude is. I know I couldn't fix him not in a million years. But idk. Something about him always makes my brain go brrr. So he's on here. Also I just love how fucking atypically written this show is and I have a wee soft spot for asimov. They didn't have to cast Jared as Hari and make him unbelievably hot. But they did. And he's so enigmatic. I love that.

3. John Lennon Egg's love for Jared Harris Origins. I was a Beatles girlie, ok? I'm not ashamed to admit that. It was my introductory fandom experience at the ripe old age of baby, and I really ate it up. I remember going into this movie being like "oh it's some dumb TV movie about John and Paul how good can it be?" Very good, as it turns out. And having assigned myself a John Lennon girlie I literally could never get over this depiction. The mannerisms, the fucking tripped-out way he philosophizes in conversation, the softness, and ofc the old friends tension. Jared got it all. Of course I'd seen him in stuff here and there, but this was the one that cemented him as a beloved actor in my mind for me (I literally re-wound the kiss scene as well like 20 times don't judge me but that awakened some stuff in me). Been following him ever since.

2. Lane Pryce - Mad Men This dude broke me for real. I didn't get into Mad Men until college, and binged it all on my friend's hulu account. And lemme tell ya. Did NOT see his final episode coming. Did not. And it made me genuinely weep. He was a highlight in the show. He was one of the only guys I could actually say is a good dude in that show, and he deserved so much better than he got in the end. I look at him and I'm just like... leave ur wife. Leave your job. Lets just go out of this capitalistic hellscape. I want to make him Well. I will love him forever for how he just completely destroyed me.

1.Francis Crozier / Valery Legasov - HA! you thought I was not going to tie them? WRONG! I can't keep these bad bitches apart.

Francis really needs no explanation at this point. I am so actually genuinely in love with him I'm writing a whole ass gothic romance novel of a fic for him, as you all know (and which has summarily turned out a BANGER of a modern AU as well). I made a bloody self-insert oc for him. Gothic Cinema is literally my favorite genre and Francis is the most Gothic Hero of all time, honestly (well besides Valery obviously). The serotonin he continually gives me makes my meds redundant. He is my sweet husband who I love with my whole life and that's that.

And Valery? sorry you can't put a babygirl of a man like that in front of me and not expect that I would want to jump his bones like? Not only is the constant existential dread relatable, but as much as people tell him he's not brave, he IS without a doubt, and honestly, just by virtue of uttering the most iconic logline ever fucking created he deserves this spot on this list. Both of these dudes make my soul ascend in a certain way not just with how brilliantly they were written, but with how incredibly Jared executed them (for which I want to kill the academy for not giving him awards on either). Top Beloveds forever and ever and ever amen.

[pandaroboto]

IT'S LITTLE ALEX HORNE!

[elisedonut]

sudden itch to write a rare pair fic thats not Percy related

but like

the last time I did that it ended up becoming my top fic and lead to me deciding that you know... actually I hate that ship just out of spite so i'm not sure how good of an idea it is

maybe if i try like femslash or something super super rare with side characters or something

[beanghostprincess]

Just thinking about the fact Sora died because of the poison she drink to save her kids, because she is gentle and kind. And her only son who the desesperate act work is as kind as her.

But the StrawHats don't know she did that, this is something he don't have the courage to tell. And they know even less that Sanji is ready to do the same.

He isn't pround of that, but he ends up discovering the poison she drink and even have the recipe of how to do it. Because the germa soldiers teached them this and others poisons.

And this little fact is like a silent threat, a thing that if the crew discovers this, would be attentive about anything he drinks until they're certainly he's not gonna do the same thing his mother did.

And when the StrawHats learn about this fact, the exactly thing he expected happens, he notice Chopper and Robin always near the kitchen with the excuse of how's there was calmer, Nami and Usopp start to do his drinks for him or always are looking him while he's doing it, the others does things too. And Sanji notices all of this.

It's needed months to calm the crew, but still after they stop, all of them always have this fear in the back of they're minds (Luffy even goes as far as asking Law to do a check up on Sanji the next time they meet), that he will do this, but they want to believe he will not. They really want to.

(Just a thought that come to my mind yesterday, and I wanted to share, y'know? Based on some headcanons)

Oh, damn. This honestly hits close to home and it's really interesting so I wanna talk about it. But, you know, it's a serious topic so:

TW // Suicide, poison, self-harm, depression, etc etc you know the drill about Sanji and his issues. I don't go deep, tho, so It's not THAT explicit but could be triggering.

I think that after WCI and Wano, they'd all be worried. Sanji has always been pretty self-sacrificing with everyone and he doesn't value his life in the slightest. He doesn't show signs at first of being actively suicidal but the way he treats his own life makes it clear that he gets into self-sabotaging situations to the point of it being considered self-harm or even passive suicidal behavior. He just- Doesn't care about dying because he puts others first all the time. He has been doing that forever and Skypiea is just one of the times he does that. But, y'know, they never notice that. At least not everyone. I think Zoro is the first to know because of Thriller Bark, honestly. That's one of the biggest signs imo. But then they're separated and it's not like they can talk about it. Then two years happen and uh, shit goes downhill after that because WCI is just utterly traumatizing for Sanji and Wano makes everything worse to the point of asking Zoro to kill him if he loses himself. And we always say that's really gay (because it is) but we ignore the whole point of Sanji genuinely asking somebody to kill him without any fucking hesitation. And he spends all of Wano having the biggest crisis of his life wondering if he's human enough or worthy of being in the crew and???? What the actual fuck. Anyway, I think the crew ends up finding out about everything and I don't believe Sanji is well mentally after all of this. I know they don't write it like this because things are happening and they have to go to Egghead, but I think Sanji would end up really fucked up after WCI and Wano to the point of being worrisome.

If they do find out about the poison thing and Sanj's suicidal thoughts (honestly, I don't know how they would even find out about it unless Reiju tells them or Sanji snaps and yells about that, but, y'know. The point is that they know and Sanji is getting worse) I think you're completely right and they'd be all over him. Because that's exactly what happens when somebody acts this way. They look after him to a suffocating extent and watch his steps. They take turns to watch him. They prepare his drinks. They even make up something so he doesn't have to be on night watch so he can sleep, because he's probably not sleeping either. Or eating well, for that matter, which is what makes them all worry even more in the first place.

And hear me out, because I think he would try to do it. Like- Commit, I mean. Not gonna get into the topic too deep but I think he'd try and I think it wouldn't work because somebody would help him right away and I think he'd try to play it off as a mistake and a misunderstanding, but everyone would know. And he'd just try to ignore their pep talks and interventions.

This is projecting from personal experience and everyone goes through these things differently, but God, I think he'd fucking hate it if they looked after him. Because he knows he won't do it again. At least he doesn't want to do it again. But everybody keeps looking after him like he's about to break at any moment and it's so damn annoying to not have any type of privacy because they think he's gonna off himself the second he's alone. And he gets why they're doing it and appreciates their efforts to look after him, but acting this way is not the answer to his problems. It's just asphyxiating and it isn't helping him get better. You know how the crew is, they're NOT subtle and careful with anything and they're just-- They have good intentions but it's suffocating and he can't handle it anymore.

And I think he'd snap. I actually want to write a fic about this if you let me use your idea (I will credit you, ofc) because I think it'd be great to make him snap at Nami, specifically, and then regret it completely.

Long story short because this is getting long: I think Brook and Robin would end up talking things out with him because they're the ones who understand him the most in this situation. He'd apologize to Nami but also everyone else would apologize too for acting this way, they were just worried and wanted to look after him. I think, after this, the only ones watching Sanji would be Brook and Robin and they'd do it carefully, supporting him and helping him get better. And the whole crew would be next to him along the way but doing it with less assertiveness and just gentler.

I think the concept of Sanji thinking about death so often is great because it adds depth to his character and it's not a crazy thought. I think it's pretty damn canon, actually. At least him being careless about his own life.

[thesilverlady]

If DOD was a novel like the main books of asoiaf what kind of dynamic would you give to Aegon and Rhaenyra, before and during the war. Also how would write their characters in pov type i am curious

oh I'd give a kidney to have DOD in a asoiaf style 🥺 imagine all the multi povs.... that's the dream

well, for starters the relationship would have been freshed out. I don't think we'd jump away from the childhood years too fast but Aegon & Rhaenyra also wouldn't be the focus. Neither would get a pov until they were older.

We would be able to see child Aegon through povs that belong to the hightowers; like Alicent, Otto, Gwayne etc and with Rhaenyra we could see her through he pov of Viserys, Daemon, Alicent and most likely Criston's

i think it's pov would affect how the dynamic would be portrayed. For instance Criston's pov would be very rose tinted when it came to Rhaenyra (considering this would be way before his fixation turned sexual) i imagine his eyes and Viserys would be the only time we could come near to see the "positive" aspect of little Rhaenyra with baby Aegon.

Now how would the dynamic between little Rhaenyra and baby Aegon be? Honestly anon, I think they probably started out good. Rhaenyra wouldn't have too much interest in a infant but as he started to grow up maybe she'd pay attention. I don't imagine her to be jealous given she's still the apple to her father's eye.

Rhaenyra grew up knowing one day she'd have a sibling. She was even accepting of her father's new marriage before something happened between her and Alicent. Now that "something" (which we never got to know what it was) would definitely still affect them.

So, young Rhaenyra + Aegon would be encouraged (especially by Viserys and maybe otto for his political agenda) to spend time together but outsider elements, like Daemon (who knows Rhaneyra's value), Criston (who is very possessive over his princess), Alicent (who tries to establish her son as heir) would prove to be obstacles. I think they'd have some nice moments but considering we're talking about this story being asoiaf-style you'd definitely get the angst and miscommunication. I think we as readers would probably feel more about the lost childhood Rhaenyra and Aegon (and the rest of the other siblings that followed) could have had.

As older them, things would naturally get darker, we'd have Criston's creepy one sided fixation becoming sexual, we'd have daemon who on the one hand is Rhaenyras' biggest supporter on the other he definitely has his own agenda, we'd have Rhaenyra herself who would have to deal with an even more vicious Alicent and her ladies at court, we'd have Aegon's self identity crises over that fact that despite being a firstborn son his older sister remains a heir, the jealousy he must feel over both of his parents being fixated on his sister for different reasons, his self discovery of the power he wields over people who are in a lower position... safe to say things would get bad pretty soon.

But to fully answer your question, I think childhood years would be the time we'd get some fragility of closeness, as they became older we'd see some resentment blooming, and full hate comes during the war. Both Rhaneyra and Aegon are proud and testy; we know for Rhaenyra her loss and grief made her paranoid and distrustful. I think her hate would be more generalized to every single green rather than just Aegon though. While Aegon's would be more centered on Rhaenyra because y'know it's essentially her fault [insert misogynistic propaganda] that she didn't roll over and accepted being unsupered

[variousqueerthings]

helloooo, another new rider on the mash bandwagon here, almost done with season 2, quick question for you and any other mash fans who see this - will there ever come a time that i dont hate frank burns with the fire of a thousand suns, tyfyt

OHHH MY GOODNESS YOU'RE WATCHING MASH!!!!!

and look, the thing about frank burns is that... no, there will never be a time when he is not the weak-willed bigot who's been given the opportunity to feel special and carry a weapon -- there are times where he'll say something and you'll suddenly go, "oh, I get why you're like this..." in the "cool story bro, still murder" type of way

larry linville really did the most, thank you for your sacrifice in accurately portraying the kind of guy who definitely loved mccarthyism and in modern days would have voted for tr*mp

now margaret on the other hand....

[capisback]

tbh I think a lot of the problems people have with Rise stem from it having had to be a completely comedy-centered show, meaning there was little to no room for things like “serious consequences”. It’s obvious now that, if given the freedom, the writers are willing to and can explore the positives and negatives of the characters and their actions. If we’ll be so lucky as to get a new season, I hope the writers will be given the room to put in both the comedy and more serious aspects and be able to give a new dimension to the show

[sonofsin]

I'm going to be so sore tomorrow. I definitely overdid it today.

[patronsaintofdemons]

You're reading Crime and Punishment 👁

i AM reading crime and punishment. have been since september with periods of devouring several chapters in an afternoon then not touching it for months because it's incredibly good but also im procrastinating doing my required reading. which i should probably stop doing. welp-