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f1byjessie · 8 months

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A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ━━ LN4.

sometimes the right words are hard to come across, and sometimes everything you need to say can be captured in an image.

( lando norris x photographer!reader )

━━ part three.

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yourusername is it time for bahrain yet?! can’t wait to see these two back in action again soon! 🧡

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mclaren We keep asking ourselves the same thing! Our engines are ready and we’re raring to go! 🧡

↳ yourusername you truly understand me mclaren admin

↳ mclaren we think you’re the one who truly understands us y/n

↳ user y/n x mclaren admin?? 🤯 the plot twist none of us saw coming

user missing these lads so much lately

user THE RADIO SILENCE ON OSCAR’S SOCIALS WAS KILLING ME I DEPEND ON THESE MEN TOO MUCH THEY KEEP ME ALIVE 😭😭

user the f1 drought is real rn

user MCLAREN SUPREMACY 2024

↳ user i’m trying to be delulu but we all know it’s just gonna be the mv33 and redbull show again this year 🫤

user soooo are we all just gonna pretend like we didn’t see the pics of her with garrett ward orrrrr?

↳ user no bc i was just thinking the same thing 👀

↳ user wait that was actually her??? cuz you can like barely see her face so i thought it was just a joke???

user what a fake ass bitch

user she only posts other ppl on her acc cuz she knows her ugly ass face would scare everyone else away

user homegirl needs to stay tf away from my man fr 😤😤

user god what a hoe 😒 she already has these two that she could fuck with idk why she needed to go after garrett

user SLUT SLUT SLUT

user if she tries anything with anyone else on the city team i’m gonna lose my shit fr

↳ user same omg

↳ user honestly i’m just glad she didn’t go after grealish or haaland 🙌

↳ user she probably would’ve tried if they weren’t taken already 🙄

↳ user nah i bet she’s totally a homewrecker garrett’s probably just the first on her list

user oh… these comments… 😰

↳ user right???

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yourusername the city boys know how it’s done! and looking pretty good in orange too 😉

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mancity The lads are looking good indeed! This weekend’s match against Newcastle should be an exciting one! ⚽️🩵

mclaren ✍️ Jeremy ✍️ Doku ✍️ and ✍️ Ruben ✍️ Dias ✍️ McLaren ✍️ 2025

↳ mancity Do you think Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri would look good in sky blue? 🤔

user funny how she posts every city man BUT garrett

user god when does she go back to f1??

↳ user march iirc

↳ user well it can’t get here soon enough jfc

user FUCK OFF WE DON’T WANT YOU

user you’re a slag and should accept the fact that any guy would only want you bc of how easy you are

user i’ll bet my left leg that the only reason the f1 boys haven’t shacked up with her yet is cuz they know she’s probably riddled with disease since she drools over every guy that comes near her 😒 like girl needs to bffr and realize that throwing herself at every male in her vicinity isn’t gonna land her a husband and it just making her even more of a slut

↳ user nah i’ll bet they’ve all already done her over in f1 but nobody will touch her now that they’ve passed her round so she had to come over to football just to try and get someone to touch her again 🙄🙄🙄

user i hope garrett realizes how much of a slut she is and breaks up with her

user sick and tired of bitches like this getting with footballers and being all controlling. like i’ll bet she’s gonna tell garrett he can’t go out and party with his mates anymore bc he has to spend time in with her and then she’ll get all pissy about him having female fans bc she’s insecure and knows that if garrett got to meet a REAL fan he’d jump ship immediately. those of us who ACTUALLY care about footballers know their fans are super important to them and we wouldn’t hinder their relationship with them just bc we’re jealous or insecure. garrett needs to be with someone who actually supports him and is willing to let him do what he wants instead of controlling him like he’s a dog on a leash.

user kys like genuinely

user god i can’t wait for this skank to die 😒

“Hey Lando, it’s me. Your best friend. Again,” you give a humorless chuckle. “I could seriously use some of your wizened advice right about now, so, uh, please just give me a call back when you can. Thanks.”

It seems poetic in a cruel sort of way that less than a week ago you were walking Etihad Campus and feeling like you were on top of the world━ working a new albeit temporary gig, adding the Manchester City name to your list of clients, having photos of world-renowned footballers in your portfolio━ and now you’ve resigned yourself to hiding away in the women’s restroom, locked in a stall because it’s the only place you could think of where nobody would be able to find you.

You’re on the verge of tears and feeling rather stupid for it.

It’s the third time today alone that your call has gone straight to voicemail, and with the dozens of unread texts you’ve sent in the last week added to the mix, it’s starting to paint a picture you’re not very happy with. Lando is ignoring you. Or he’s blocked you. Or he’s blocked you because he’s ignoring you━

You bite down on your lip, hard, to keep back the sob crawling its way up your throat.

You’re not a PR officer, you hadn’t been lying when you told Garrett that, but you’ve spent enough time around the McLaren PR teams that you’ve picked up enough tips and tricks to know, at the very least, that the best thing you can do is just ignore the comments.

That’s what they tell all the athletes.

What they don’t tell the athletes is that ignoring the comments is much easier said than done, especially when your career requires you to have such a significant online presence. And the thing is, despite all of these strangers hounding you with every name under the sun and criticizing your capabilities, qualifications, and very existence, the thing that hurts the most is the radio silence from the only person you know could make it all better.

Now, more than ever, you need your best friend. But he isn’t here.

You tuck your phone into your jacket pocket and unlock the stall with great reluctance. You know better than to be hiding away, shirking your responsibilities while crying over a few missed phone calls. You have a job to do, and a real professional wouldn’t let something as simple as a handful of tasteless comments get in the way of that.

You should be used to them. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Your first month at McLaren wasn’t entirely different.

When you were first hired on, Carlos had been in Formula One for a handful of years already and had built up a devotedly loyal fanbase with a decently large percentage of possessive fangirls who had come for your head the moment your existence had been announced.

The McLaren Instagram account had posted a picture of you standing between their two grinning drivers, your camera strung around your neck, with a very nice caption welcoming you to the team, and despite no indication that you were by any means involved with either of them in a way that went beyond professional, the comments had been taken over by feral teenage girls who saw the act of you simply standing near Carlos to be a direct threat against their “chances.”

Though it had been frustrating being met with childish threats and petty insults in your comments, you hadn’t really held it against any of them. You remember being a teenage girl and crushing on a celebrity. Deep down you knew you never had a chance with them, but that hadn’t stopped you from hanging posters in your bedroom and doodling their name beneath yours inside of scribbled hearts in your diary.

Regardless, it had taken close to a month for the negativity to die down, and you hadn’t had Lando then, either, so now shouldn’t be much different.

In fact, everyone on the Manchester City team━ trainers, physios, media coordinatiors, and anyone inbetween━ has been very polite about everything between you and Garrett. A lot of them have just avoided saying anything about it, which you’re very grateful for because you don’t think you’d be able to hold back your grimace while thanking them for their well wishes, and the few who have mentioned it typically only say something vague like a wishing you the best of luck or hoping you’re happy.

An intern gave you a sympathetic smile the other day, and you’d nearly burst into tears in the middle of the office of the Director of Communications, so you know you aren’t truly alone in this.

You just feel alone.

Exiting the bathroom is a simple affair. There’s no one standing post outside ready to give you any shit for being hidden away, and nobody comes sprinting around the corner as you make your way down the hall to the press conference room that’s been temporarily turned into your base of operations.

You think you’ll probably be able to go the rest of the afternoon without running into anyone, when you open your door and find━ sitting in the front row of the seats typically saved for journalists and the press, scrolling across his phone with a disinterested look painted across his face━ Jack Grealish.

“Jack,” you greet, a bit shocked. You close the door to the room gently behind you, and cross the distance to your desk. “Did we have a meeting scheduled? It must’ve completely slipped my mind, I sincerely apologize.”

He offers you a polite smile. “No, we didn’t, so no need to be sorry. I actually just wanted to check in. See how things are going with everything.”

You blink at him in surprise. Apart from Garrett, you haven’t really had much time to speak with the other players. They wish you good morning and good afternoon when they see you, and if a ball goes astray they always call out for you to watch your head, but between their morning training and their afternoon training, their strategy reviews at lunch, and the frequent in between meetings with physios, nutritionists, and trainers, they don’t get much time to chit chat with a simple photographer.

You clear your throat, “Erm, it’s going well. I’ve gotten some really good shots these past few days. There’s one with Rodrigo that I’m particularly proud of. It should do well with the fans.”

“And things with Ward?”

You purse your lips.

“Figured.” Jack sighs. “Look, nearly everyone you run into here knows or has at least some inkling into what he’s like. He’s a prick. None of the lads on the team like him, it’s why the managers are trying to get him out of here.”

You lower yourself down into your chair. “He told me they were planning to trade him off because of his reputation.”

Jack scoffs, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s the ‘official’ reason. They can’t cut his contract early for legal reasons, so they’re waiting for it to expire and coming up with an excuse for why they ain’t re-signing him. It’s really just ‘cause the rest of us can’t keep dealing with his massive ego and the fact that he’s a misogynistic fuck who doesn’t know the first thing about respect.”

“Fucking tell me about it,” you mutter with a sigh.

If he expected you to defend Garrett and is surprised by the fact that you haven’t, Jack doesn’t show it. He looks relaxed sitting across from you, like you’re having a casual conversation and not actively shit talking a member of his team. It gives you the impression that he knows significantly more about Garrett than you do, and that because of what he knows he probably figured out that one party in the relationship is not the most willing of participants.

“How’d you get all wrapped up it in then? Didn’t figure you to be the type to go after pricks like Ward.”

You debate over whether you should tell him or not. There isn’t much Jack can do about the situation regardless, but it would at least get things off your chest and if someone else knew then maybe you wouldn’t feel so alone anymore.

There’s only so many days you can spend hiding out in the women’s restroom trying not to bawl your eyes out, and you’ve already reached your limit.

You heave a sigh, “It’s kind of fucked up really.” A pen on your desk catches your attention and you start to fiddle with it, avoiding Jack’s eyes which have focused directly onto you. “He asked if I would help him fix up his reputation by pretending to be his girlfriend so he could show everyone that he’s matured and can hold down a steady relationship. When I told him no, he threatened to make up a lie about inappropriate conduct to get me fired and blacklisted from the industry, so for the sake of preserving my career I agreed.”

“Bloody fucking hell,” Jack murmurs, shaking his head. “I’m real sorry he did that, Y/N.”

You shrug. “It’s happened, so, there’s nothing I can really do except wait it out at this point.”

When you look up and meet his gaze, Jack looks murderous. His hands are clenched into fists on the armrests, knuckles white with the strength of his grip. His brows are furrowed, and his lips are twisted downward in a scowl.

“If you need anything,” he starts, “let me know. And I mean it. We all know how Ward can be. He’s a knobhead. So if you need anything━” his emphasis on the word and what that implies makes you feel more comforted than anything has since the whole fiasco started, “━then you let me know, or you tell one of the other boys and they’ll find me, alright?”

All you can do is nod.

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yourusername there’s no place like home

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━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @leclercsluv @f1luvur @formulaal @a-disturbing-self-reflection @starlightpierre @chezmardybum @marshmummy @405rry

━━ a/n: no lando yet, but we've got a cutesy little grealish scene to make up for it because i couldn't have a story with manchester city and not include him! lowkey writing this part made me wanna write for a footballer too... anyways! hope you all enjoy!

#formula 1 #formula one #f1 #formula 1 imagine #f1 imagine #formula one imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula one x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #social media au #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #ln4 #oscar piastri

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lvlyghost · 1 year

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Hi I just read your “The Things I Never Said” oneshot and loved it. Can I get a kind of opposite version where Simon wishes to be a dad but the reader never wants to be a mom so she freaks out and gets an abortion with out Simons knowledge and later he somehow finds out? Maybe angst to fluff? Totally ignore this if you dont want to, have a wonderful day/night.

The Things I Wish I Said

Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

Summary: You decide to end things with Simon after what you did.

Word Count: 1.7k

Tw: hurt, comfort, angry simon, angst, implied abortion. Not proofread.Think that's it but lmk if i missed anything!🐸

A/N: here it is! I hope this doesn't disappoint and that it lives up to your expectations 😰🤞🏻 I really enjoyed writing this one and since it's similar to my previous fic decided to name it quite similar. ✨💞

Masterlist✨Masterpost

He doesn't know. You stare at Simon's gargantuan body as he barks orders to the new recruits. Things have been rather... tense lately. And it's all because of you.

Yesterday had taken a toll on you. A big piece of your heart and soul lost forever in that godamn clinic. You can still smell the perfume of the nurse, feel the hands of the doctor as he tried to comfort you. You're deadly pale, tired and numb. That's why you're sitting on the other side of the field, watching the rest of your team training as usual. Nothing changes for them. You on the other hand? Can't even look at Simon in the eyes. Not anymore. The one thing he wanted the most was also the one you were the most reluctant to. It just wasn't you.

You didn't have it in your DNA. To be a mother. To carry a baby in your arms. And not because you're selfish, but you had decided a long time ago that having children was off the table.

Even when everybody would say 'you'll change your mind when you find the one'. Well it was a blatant lie because you found him. You loved Simon. You'd do whatever he asked of you. Just not this. And you hate yourself for it.

You lied to him and didn't mention anything. Didn't tell him you were pregnant with his offspring.

Couldn't even bare to maintain a conversation with him. And he's starting to notice the way your body startles when he reaches out to you. How you avoid his gaze or not kiss him anymore.

"Feeling better?" He questions, strong arms crossed. Simon doesn't fully look down where you sit but side eyes you. He awaits. You're looking out to the field, ignoring his presence as you swallow the lump in your throat.

"Not really, Lieutenant." You simply add, in a hushed tone.

He sighs but doesn't move, starting to lose his patience. He's trying so hard to understand why you're acting like this. He's preoccupied. Anxious. Yet doesn't let it show, remaining stoic as ever.

"Wanna talk about it, Sergeant?" Biting down on your lip and fidgeting with your hands you shake your head. Simon rubs his face, annoyed that whatever the fuck is happening is driving the both of you apart, so he sits down on the bench next to you. "What is it?" He turns his head to you. Arms resting on his knees.

"Simon..." you warn him with a sad tone.

"No. That's an order."

"Sir, we're done here..." One of the recruits shouts from the other side.

"You bloody keep going until I tell you to stop!" He seethes, making you flinch.

Resting your head on your hands, start thinking about the inevitable. About what you're going to do. Your heartbeat racing when you feel his eyes on you again.

"Simon..." you say. "I... I- don't think we should be together right now." It hurts deep inside because all that's left is the rustling of wind and the voices of the soldiers around. You don't turn to see his reaction, probably wouldn't be able to stand it. It's not because you didn't love him. In fact, you loved him more than he could imagine. It's what you did behind his back what's eating you alive. And the best way you can seem to cope with it is to leave him.

Not a sound comes from him for the next few seconds. Until you finally find the courage to look his way. Blue eyes scan your body.

"As you wish, kid." He whispers. You can't see it but he's already spiraling down to a dark place.

The one good thing he had...

"I've had enough!" Soap's voice booms in the hallway and then your door bursts open. You shriek, standing up from the bed. "I can't stand it anymore lass. You've gotta talk to him." He says.

"Johnny... we've talked about this." You murmur.

"No. I'm being serious! Ghost is more irritated than usual, he almost punched me for saying he needed to get laid. The bloody hell happened to you both?" His eyebrows furrow. "You need to figure this out, otherwise..."

"It's complicated." You deadpan.

"Well then bloody make it right! Steaming fucking Jesus you two acting like fucking children. Grow the hell up."

You had never seen Johnny this mad.

Of course you were aware of Ghost's attitude since you two broke up. And it's only been three weeks. You've been attending the military counselor since then, it's a sorrowful feeling when you think about Simon, while you talk about him. About what led to the end of your relationship or whatever it was that you two had going on.

"I believe what you went through was hard and painful. But I do think that he deserves an answer." she had insisted. "He needs to know."

It was easier said than done. Every time you thought about going to his room or wherever he'd be you got this uneasy feeling, like he somehow despised you now. That all the soft smiles and gentle caressing that were once just for you had turned into frowns and harsh commands. Dismissing you whenever you showed up to training. Not even making eye contact during debriefs. Walking right past you in the corridor. You can't help but wonder if the baby's eyes would've been more like him or yours.

Stop.

The counselor said it was a type of ptsd and that therapy would help you get through it.

"The first step is to let yourself feel that pain, make amends with it, and then go see him."

"I'll try to talk to him Johnny. I promise." You murmur, jaw clenching.

The mere thought of going to speak to Simon made your hands sweat and your heart beat frantically.

Three days after the conversation with Soap, you stand in front of Simon's bedroom door. Blinking rapidly as your mind races with all the things you ought to say. It's almost one in the morning, unable to sleep you decided the conversation couldn't wait any longer. You couldn't wait anymore. Swallowing down saliva you raise your hand, two soft knocks on the door echoing in the empty hallway and you wait patiently, fumbling with your hands as the anxiety begins to raise.

Simon doesn't open so you knock again two times only to be greeted by more silence and a loud thunder outside in the sky.

A quiet huff leaves your mouth as you turn on your heel and leave. Wandering around the compound with no clear direction. It's dead silent, you're left with your own self destructive thoughts as you walk past the gym. A low thud can be heard from behind the doors so you backtrack and take a glimpse through the window.

Why is he at the gym at this ungodly hour?

Pushing past the door you walk sluggishly, Simon's quick to notice the disturbance, ready to snap at whomever is here to interrupt his midnight routine. It's been like this for weeks now; not being able to sleep. The nightmares that had disappeared for the most part came back with full force.

There's a hollow feeling inside of him ever since you decided to call it quits. He doesn't fucking understand, he's mad. Furious even. Can't help the anger whenever he wakes up and you're not there anymore. Can't bear the sight of you during debriefings and not even looking his way. The way you freeze when he has to order you around.

Had he done anything to make you fearful of him?

He needed to know, he needs answers. He'd ask tomorrow. He swears. Whatever it was. Then he'll walk away.

He stands from where he was about to start the second round of push-ups. Simon's able to recognize your silhouette with the lights off, he just knows you that well. Wherever you were, in a sea full of people he'd know it's you even then.

"Sorry..." you murmur. Simon's looking at you over his left shoulder through the mirror in front of him, you stand a few steps behind him. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

He stays silent. It's now that you come to realize that he isn't wearing the mask, instead lies on the room floor, discarded. "Was looking for you in your room but-"

"Say it." He barks, turning around and stalking towards you. His presence alone making you feel smaller. His brows are knitted, jaw clenched so hard you're sure he'll break his teeth. Simon is massive. Yet, despite all of this you know he'd never lay a finger on you, nor hurt you. "Fucking start talking, kid." The hurt in his voice is palpable. You fumble with your hands, it's getting harder to keep your eyes on his. You do not deserve his love at all. "Because I've been losing my mind ever since you shut me out."

A soft wail escapes your lips, you try to muffle it. Simon hesitates for a second. Wanting nothing more than to hold you in his arms, he awaits.

"I... I- got pregnant." You cried. "And you've always known I never wanted that. I panicked and didn't say a word because it would be more painful or...-" you swallow through incessant tears. "Or so I thought. I decided to get rid of it, Simon. But seeing what's done to us. What I've done... I'm so fucking sorry I don't deserve-"

Suddenly you're engulfed by strong arms and a broad chest as you finally let go and cry rivers of pain and regret. He's murmuring sweet things in your ear that you can't understand die to your deteriorating situation.

"It's okay. It's okay, love. Fucking hell, should've come to me." He growled. "Don't you ever do this to me again, kid. You didn't have to do it alone. Christ."

There's a soft kiss on the top of your head as your cries start to die down and all there's left are soft whimpers.

"I never meant to leave you, but I couldn't be close to you after what I did behind your back." You sniff.

The ever gentle caressing of his thumb on your back never ceases, providing the comfort you so desperately seek.

"S'alright, love. Nothing to be sorry about." He takes a step back keeping you at arms length. "There she is." A little broken but starting to be pieced back together. He gently wipes your cheeks and breathes deep. "I'm here. Always."

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hotchnerobsessed · 2 years

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Trying To Forget

This one was requested by @kaylenbrooks 🥰

Fem!Reader x Hotch | After finding out that your ex cheated on you, Hotch does everything he can to help you through it.

Warnings: 😰+🤭 Talk of cheating, reader working through her anger, mental exhaustion, and a few swears. But also LOTS OF FLUFF because it’s Aaron. (Reader is a little sassy at the beginning because she’s heartbroken, but it doesn’t phase Hotch because he just wants to help)

Word Count: 7789

Masterlist

I know I said I was going to proof-read this one but I just didn’t have a chance to today 😂 and I figured I’d rather let everyone have it with a few mistakes than a few days late. Soooo here we go!!

**********

It had been 9 days since you found out your boyfriend was cheating on you.

The worst part was, you weren’t even surprised. If anything, you were more angry at yourself for not having left sooner. He was a self-centered, egotistical, asshole who never showed you the respect you deserved. But you’d always made excuses for him and chose to look past it. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d done this to yourself.

It was the other girl who reached out to you as soon as she found out. She was insistent that she didn’t know he was with anyone, and came armed with screenshots and voicemails to back up her story.

After the initial shock wore off, you told her you were thankful she had said something, and you didn’t hold anything against her. How could she have known? He was the manipulative one, and she was simply another victim in his little game.

In the days since you’d found out, you did your best to keep to yourself together at work. You felt angry, and betrayed, and worthless. The shame you felt for having stuck with him as long as you had was eating you alive, and you were convinced that nothing in the world would ever be able to erase the hatred you had for yourself.

Through it all, you couldn’t sleep. Memories, both good and bad, flashed through your mind constantly. And the voicemails that he sent to her were always there in the background, seemingly on a never ending loop. Just over and over and over again, the compliments and praise he showered her with, all while he had been hurling insults at you on a near daily basis.

With your eyes red and puffy almost every morning from crying on your drive to work, on top of the exhausted look from lack of sleep, it didn’t take long for the team to pick up on the fact that something was wrong. But any time you were approached about it, you simply brushed off their concerns with a short, “I’m fine,” or, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Just like everyone else on the team, Hotch knew something wasn’t right; if anything, he was probably the first person to take notice. You were normally so talkative, and bubbly, and always always said hello to him in the morning. The person he’d seen coming to work over the past week was not the same person he’d fallen for, and he couldn’t help the ache he felt in the pit of his stomach; he desperately wanted to know what was going on so he could help in any way you would allow him to.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

It was day 7 when he finally called you into his office. Truth was, he didn’t want to talk to you as your boss, he wanted to talk to you as a friend. His tone wasn’t as commanding as you were used to, this time it was softer. Any other day you would have picked up on the slight change, but you were so far past exhausted that you didn’t think anything of it.

It was a short conversation, one that started with a gentle, “what’s going on?” from him, and a firm, “nothing. Everything is peachy over here.” from you.

You weren’t trying to be rude, you were simply tired of being asked if you were okay. You’d finally reached the point of simply feeling numb, and you didn’t want to keep rehashing everything you were trying so hard to bury. You knew you were barely hanging on by a thread, and you could feel it getting closer and closer to snapping every time someone tried to bring it up.

He couldn’t even be mad at you for the way you were speaking to him, because even though he didn’t know what was causing the pain you were feeling, he knew you were hurting. He also knew you weren’t intending for your words to harm him directly, it was simply your defence mechanism; push people away before they have the chance to hurt you, and keep yourself from a complete breakdown down at work.

The conversation ended with you asking, “do you have any concerns about my work performance?” You had a point, much to everyone’s surprise, your work hadn’t been affected at all. Throughout your life you’d become so good at pushing your own feelings to the side any time you needed to. So especially now, when other people’s lives were on the line, there was just no time for you to let your own issues interfere.

He found himself slightly flustered for once, as he struggled to find the right words, “no, no.. you seem to be handling work well through whatever it is that’s going on.. I just..”

You cut him off, “Thank you, Sir. I think I’d just like to finish things here so I can go home if that’s okay.”

He was at a complete loss, unsure of what to say next. All he wanted was for you to confide in him. He couldn’t stand to see you hurting any longer. All thought of how else he could approach the situation escaped him, and he just stared at you for a second, unable to speak, before simply nodding.

As you turned and walked out of his office, closing the door behind you, his brows settled into a deep frown as he attempted to pick apart the last 30 seconds, unsure of where he’d gone wrong. But he knew deep down it wouldn’t have mattered what he’d said, something was going on outside of work.

After seeing you like that, he couldn’t help the anxious feeling that gripped his chest. He cared for you, more than he did anyone else. When he’d first come to that realization, it terrified him. He loved each and every person on his team, and trusted them with his life, it was important for the success of the team.

But with you, it was different.

He always found himself being drawn towards you, especially in life-threatening situations. If there was even the slightest hint that things could go sideways, he was glued to your side, ready to do whatever needed to be done to keep you safe.

The rest of the team picked up on it immediately, while you remained oblivious. You were already in a relationship when you’d joined the BAU, and unlike your ex, you’d never given anyone else a second glance. So the gravitational pull Aaron felt towards you wasn’t even a blip on your radar.

And through it all, Aaron had kept his distance, being respectful of the commitment you’d made to another man, even though it was killing him inside. Every once in a while he would over-hear you talking to the girls, confiding in them about the troubles in your relationship. The bad definitely outweighed the good, and his heart only broke more and more every time he heard his name mentioned; Aaron wanted nothing more than to whisk you away from everything and show you what real love could feel like. He couldn’t help but wonder if whatever was bothering you had something to do with him.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

So here you were, 8 days into the excruciating realization that your ex probably never loved you in the first place, and you were finally going to confront him about it. Both you and the other girl had decided that you wanted time to get your stories straight and prepare for the backlash that was sure to come your way.

As predicted, the conversation was not all sunshine and rainbows. He was downright cruel, more heartless than ever before. But through it all, he still denied everything. He claimed to have never met her before, and said that she must have faked all the texts somehow. He had a hard time explaining away the voicemails, but he’d still managed to end the conversation feeling like he was a saint, and you were the devil.

Needless to say, it was another sleepless night, and you figured, why wallow at home all alone? You rolled out of bed around 3:00 AM, and decided that going to work early to get a head start on the day was the best thing for you. Throwing yourself into your work was always the first thing you wanted to do to distract yourself from the hell in your mind.

Arriving at the office, you put your vehicle in park just as your phone started ringing. It was him.

“Why the fuck is he calling me at this time of night?!” you thought to yourself, “he has absolutely no regard for anyone else.”

Answering the phone with a blunt, “what do you want?” you clenched your free hand around the steering wheel in an attempt to keep yourself calm.

You heard a soft voice on the other side of the line, “Y/N, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

You scoffed, “you’re sorry for yelling at me? Really? That’s what you’re sorry about?”

The slight pause on the other end of the line boiled your blood, because you just knew he was trying to come up with another fake apology; another excuse for his actions. All you wanted was for him to admit what he’d done, so you could tell him to fuck off. “That, and.. I’m sorry you couldn’t see through her lies.”

A laugh of disbelief escaped your lips, “that is the most back-handed and insincere apology I’ve ever heard. This is over. I should have ended things a long time ago. Don’t call me again.”

You swiftly pulled the phone away from your ear, desperately wanting to hang up before he had the chance to say anything more. Unfortunately you weren’t quick enough, and you could hear his yell of, “bitch!!” through the phone, “yeah, well she was a better fuck than you anyway!!”

Your heart immediately sank. You knew he had cheated. You had all the proof you needed to believe it. But finally hearing him admit it, and in that way, felt like knives puncturing right through your chest, severing the last of the thread holding you together.

You felt white hot rage flowing through your veins. You tossed your phone carelessly onto the seat beside you before undoing your seatbelt; you felt like you were being suffocated. You now gripped the steering wheel with both of your hands, and tried to focus on your breathing. But it didn’t work. Of course he just had to get the last word in, and of course he was going to make sure it was a low blow.

Failing to calm yourself down, you closed your eyes, and breathed deep once more. But nothing would have been able to stop the scream that built from deep within you. Your lips parted and the most heart-wrenching sound you’d ever made came out; a confused mix of anger and desperation pierced your ears.

Little did you know, when you’d pulled into the parking lot, Hotch had been right behind you. Not one to miss the small details, he noticed it was your vehicle turning in front of his, and worry immediately settled deep in his chest. You only ever came into work this early when a case called for it, or if he’d requested the team be there ahead of schedule. But he hadn’t asked anyone to do so.

He parked and got out as soon as possible. As he approached your vehicle from behind, he could see you moving, hear your scream, and fear clawed at his mind. He’d never seen you like this before, something was very wrong, and he knew he needed to get to the bottom of it. He couldn’t stand to see you carrying this hurt with you any longer.

Your lungs finally reached their limit, no more sound coming out, and you simply reacted without thinking. Still desperately needing to get your frustration out somehow, you slammed your fist against the steering wheel, missing the side by an inch, causing the horn to go off.

Only a few strides away from your driver’s side window, he saw you slam your hand against the steering wheel just as one short burst of the horn filled the air. Keeping his distance, not wanting to come up too close or fast and startle you, he circled the side of your vehicle, a couple feet away, until he was standing off to the side.

Pulling your hand back swiftly, hoping you hadn’t startled anyone, you opened your eyes and began looking around wildly. Your eyes connected with his immediately, and the concern on his face was clear even from this distance. The sigh you let out was composed of the embarrassment of being caught, mixed with relief over the fact that it was Aaron.

Throughout your time at the BAU, you couldn’t deny the trust you had in Aaron. Whether it was discussing a case and how it had affected either of you, or discussing the simple things like your lives outside of work, you always enjoyed talking to him. And you felt safe around him. No matter what situation the team was walking into, if you knew you had him by your side, you knew you were going to be alright.

You’d had no reason to think it was anything other than a mutual respect for each other as colleagues, but that would soon change.

Once he recognized that you’d seen him, he closed the gap between you without hesitation. Gripping the handle of your driver’s side door frantically, he pulled it open and crouched down beside you, all while still keeping a comfortable distance, not wanting to intrude on your personal space too abruptly.

As you swung your legs out the open door, you slowly brought your eyes up to meet his. You were both silent for a period of time that was only a few seconds, but felt like an eternity. He had a million and one questions he wanted to ask you, but he stayed silent, waiting for you to speak first.

Too emotionally exhausted to care if you were being too blunt, you simply admitted, “he cheated.. he’s been cheating on me.. for months..”

The defeat in your voice cut right through him, and in an instant, the anger that was coursing through his veins matched yours. He knew first hand what it felt like; the betrayal and worthlessness that came with having an unfaithful partner. He would never wish that upon anyone. So seeing you in front of him now, trying desperately to process that same hurt he’d felt all those years ago, devastated him.

How could anyone have you within their grasp and choose to throw you away like you meant nothing?

How could anyone be graced with your beauty and warmth and choose to stomp out that flame?

How could anyone see the depth of emotion behind your breathtaking eyes and choose to look the other way?

“I’m.. I’m so sorry.. Y/N..” Words completely escaped him; no comforting anecdotes would do in this situation. All he could do was show you that he was there for you, and let you say whatever you needed to say. As he reached forward, he grasped your hands in his and looked into your eyes.

You scanned his face and saw the disbelief written across his handsome features. You squeezed his hands with what little srength you had as you breathed in deep, before releasing the air from your lungs slowly. You dropped your head, looking down at your lap in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry Aaron.. I shouldn’t have.. you didn’t need to see all that..” Your voice was broken as you spoke, your ability to push everything aside disappearing completely.

Shaking his head, he jumped in to redirect your line of thinking, “no, no, don’t do that to yourself.. you have nothing to apologize for.”

With another shaky breath in, you looked back up at him and your eyes connected once more. You found nothing but warmth radiating from him as he gazed back at you. You couldn’t deny how comfortable you felt in that moment, wanting nothing more than to get everything you’d been holding back out of your system. So when he spoke once more, you couldn’t help the relief that consumed you, “what do you need? What can I do?”

Fighting back tears, you admitted, “I’m just so angry.. all the time.. I just..” as you breathed in deep once more, he could feel the tremble in your hands as you admitted, “I need to let myself be angry. I want to scream at the top of my lungs until I can’t scream anymore. And I have to get rid of all of his things. I have to completely remove him from my life.”

The relief he felt with how upfront and honest you were being was indescribable. This is all he wanted, for you to let him in, and hopefully allow him to help.

A quick smile pulled at the corner of his lips as an idea popped into his head. It was something he’d always wanted to try, but has always talked himself out of doing for one reason or the other. “I think I might have an idea.” Looking up at him again, a slightly confused expression on your face, you were silent as he explained himself. “There’s this place downtown, you book a room and they let you throw things and break things and just destroy everything.”

Your eyes lit up momentarily as your mind flashed back to a conversation you’d had a couple years earlier when it had first opened. Same as him, you’d always wanted to go, but never thought you had a good enough reason to. You had to admit, if there was any time to do it, now would be that time. But as much as you knew it was what you needed to do, you couldn’t stand the thought of going alone. You needed someone by your side, someone you trusted, if you were actually going to do it.

He could see the hesitation on your face, so he added softly, “but you don’t have to, if it’s not something you’d be interested in, I just thought..”

You interrupted his rambling, “no, no, Aaron, it’s the perfect idea.. I just, I don’t know if I’d be able to go on my own.”

With zero hesitation, he was offering to go with you, help you work through everything you were feeling. He couldn’t deny the pull he felt towards it as well, maybe he’s finally be able to get some of his own frustration out. Besides, spending more time with you was never something he could say no to. “I’d go with you. If you’d like.”

A smile creased the corners of your eyes, and you found yourself completely unable to contain the acceptance and understanding you felt in that moment. Pulling your hands away from his, you leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close.

The feeling of your arms around him set his heart ablaze like it always did. The first time you’d hugged him, it caught him by surprise. Not typically an outwardly affectionate person, he couldn’t deny how it felt to hold you close to him. He lived his life day by day, wondering when he might so lucky as to be able to hold you in his arms again.

As your arms tightened around him, he slowly brought his tentative hands up to encircle your waist as you leaned into him. Once his hands were sliding against your back, he felt as though he held the entire world in the palm of his hands.

Taking comfort in the feeling of his arms wrapped tight around you, you spoke softly against his neck, “thank you, Aaron.”

You could hear the sigh and content hum he let out next to your ear, “of course, sweetheart.”

The gentle pet name escaped his lips before he even knew what he was saying. He might have worried that he’d overstepped if it wasn’t for the way your arms had pulled him impossibly closer when he’d said it.

“Today? When we’re done here?” He spoke gently, making it clear that it didn’t have to be today if you weren’t quite ready.

Pulling back from his embrace slightly, you nodded, a gentle, “okay,” falling off your lips.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

You were thankful the day hadn’t greeted you with the start of a new case. The team was lucky enough to simply focus on paperwork and case reviews, before things began winding down. Though it had been a long day, for both you and Aaron, having been there since the early hours of the morning, there was no denying the thrill that started to settle in your chest.

The mere fact that someone finally knew what was going on had already helped more than you could have ever imagined. And for that someone to be Aaron, made it that much better; you’d always felt so comfortable around him.

As the hours passed by, you’d made a mental list of all the things you wanted to grab from your apartment, all the things of his that you knew would be more than satisfying to break. All the things he’d given to you that you couldn’t wait to destroy.

Unbothered by the thought of anyone else knowing you were going to be spending time together after hours, he slipped the last of his paperwork away and made a bee-line for you from his office. You’d looked up moments earlier and saw him descending the stairs into the bullpen, and couldn’t help the rush you felt. You knew you needed this, and just like the countless cases you’d worked together before, you were grateful to have him by your side the entire way.

“Ready?” he asked, already knowing the answer. You simply stood from your desk and he motioned for you to lead the way.

Passing through the double doors, Prentiss and Morgan were rounding the corner, and Emily asked, “Hey! You two up for some drinks tonight?”

Pressing the button on the elevator, you shook your head and you simply stated, “thanks. But we’ve got somewhere to be.”

The smile he gave you as he looked down at you was clear as day. The two of them looked back and forth between you and Aaron, then at each other, confusion written all over their faces. Not wanting to wait to be interrogated, you two stepped into the elevator that had thankfully opened just in time.

It was Morgan who spoke just as the doors were closing, “what the hell was that about?”

You two let out playful laughs, knowing full well that you’d have to explain everything the next day, but you didn’t care. All you could focus on now was getting there.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Making a stop at your place, you gathered everything you’d made a mental list of earlier, and rushed back out to the vehicle where Aaron was patiently waiting. In no time at all you were pulling into a parking spot, and you grabbed hold of the box of items as he rounded the vehicle and opened your door for you. Thanking him, you both made your way through the doors of the building and to the front counter.

“Two for Hotchner.” He spoke very nonchalantly, and though it didn’t spark anything within you, he couldn’t help but take note of how natural it felt to say that in regards to you and him.

After paying for the session, a kind gesture for which you would thank Aaron multiple times, you were soon being lead down a series of hallways. As the door to the room was being pushed open, suddenly all those anxieties began to rise in you once more. Seeing the large space, filled with everything ranging from small plates and cups, to an old TV and wooden chairs, made it all so real. You knew you needed to let it all out, and the equipment lining the far wall told you you would be more than able to accomplish that, but finally being faced with confronting everything you were feeling made you nervous.

You were each given a set of protective face shields and gloves, along with a quick recap of their safety procedures.

As the employee was exiting the room, you set your box of items on a table in the corner. With you and Aaron now alone, you both put the protective gear on. Turning to face him, you joked, “how do I look?”

As he pulled his gloves on, he stated, “like you’re ready to break stuff.”

Laughing nervously, you admitted, “I am, I just.. is it weird that I don’t know where to start?”

Shaking his head understandingly, he suggested, “let’s start with some of the things in the room first. We’ll circle back around to your personal items in a bit..”

“Okay,” you agreed, knowing that easing into ridding your ex from your life was the right call.

You started small, both of you picking up plate after plate and throwing them against the wooden wall, adrenaline beginning to pump through your veins. As both of you began to feel more and more comfortable with the unnatural feeling of breaking objects rather than preserving them, you couldn’t help the joyous laughter that graced your lips. There was a reason these rooms existed, because the relief you felt was undeniable, for both of you.

As you threw one last plate, he had turned and selected a baseball bat from the wall of equipment. Handing it to you he suggesting, “try something bigger,” as he motioned towards the TV.

Lining yourself up with the tv that was standing on a wooden block in the middle of the room, you pulled back before swinging with all your might. As the bat connected with the TV, the screen shattered everywhere as the frame tipped backwards, the most satisfying crash and rainfall of glass filling the room. As a huge smile crossed your face, you turned to face him, “ohhh you have to try that!!”

Handing the bat over to him, you placed the TV back on the stand and stepped out of the way. As he lined up his shot, the connection of wood to glass graced your ears yet again. With that same smile you’d had on your face moments earlier pulling at the corners of you mouth yet again, neither of you could help the laughter that erupted from deep within. Even if it was only temporary, you knew you would remember the joy you felt in that moment forever.

Making your way through the room, using sledge hammers to destroy the wooden chairs, and golf clubs to break glass bottles, it wasn’t long before everything was broken. But just as easily as those highs came, they disappeared, as you were now being faced with nothing left to destroy but your box of belongings.

Slowly making your way to the table you’d set the box on, Aaron silently watched as you pulled open the cardboard flaps and took everything in. Your eyes scanned the contents, before settling on a pair of stemless wine glasses that his mom had gifted to both of you on your 2nd anniversary.

Carefully holding them in your hands, you turned to face Aaron, and the look on your face said it all. He could see the hesitation, the uncertainty, as you glanced back at the glass in your palms. You tested the waters, simply dropping one of them right where you stood. As the glass his the floor and shattered, it felt like everything was happening in slow motion. In your mind, every shard of glass was like every tiny moment you’d shared, all of those memories being scattered across the floor.

You breathed in deep, before exhaling a shaky breath, as tears began to well up inside you. When you looked back up at Aaron, he could see the pain in your eyes clear as day. With a gentle step forward, he reached his hand out and placed it on your shoulder. “You don’t have to..”

You shook your head, “No, I do..”

He simply nodded, his encouraging hand still on your shoulder, “okay. Is there anything I can do to help?”

You looked up at him, the warm smile that spread across your face a stark contrast to the single tear rolling down your cheek, “I don’t know if I can dig through all that again.. Can you just hand everything to me?”

He nodded again, “of course.”

Smiling weakly at him, you thanked him before stepping to the side. With the second wine glass still in hand, you stared at it, turning it over and over, taking in every detail for the last time, before finally taking aim and throwing it at the wall. As it shattered, the light reflected off each piece of glass as they fell to the floor; it was a truly breathtaking sight.

One item at a time, Aaron carefully assisted in emptying the box. Everything from the ceramic jewelry dish he’d bought for you, to a collection of Christmas ornaments you’d purchased in his favourite colour in the hopes of hanging it on your tree one day.

A ragged breath in after the last ornament smashed caused your emotions to begin flowing freely. Silent but unstoppable tears made themselves known on your face, as you turned to look at Aaron. You didn’t care if he saw this side of you, he’d seen it before, with those rare cases that you just couldn’t seem to shake. He blinked slowly a few times, trying to hold back tears of his own, as he took in the raw emotion on your face. A timid hand reached out to you, a picture frame in his grasp.

Looking down at the item he was handing you, your face scrunched, as the pain of the memory came rushing back. It was the picture frame you had put your first photo together in. The dainty gold had once been home to the snapshot of you and him at an amusement park. You’d removed the photo the day you found out, so the frame stood empty now.

Grasping the metal in your hands, you walked over to the wall and picked up the sledge hammer again before setting the frame on the table. With one more look at the glass encased by shimmering gold, you swung the sledgehammer. You felt that same anger begin to bubble to the surface as the weight came down, contorting the metal and sending glass flying.

As everything you’d been fighting so hard to ignore finally rose to the surface at once, you were unable to hold back the yell that escaped as you took out your anger on the picture frame. Swinging again and again, screaming louder and louder each time, Aaron kept his distance, allowing you to get out every last bit of emotion trapped inside you.

With the metal now unrecognizable, you simply let the weight of the sledgehammer slip from your weakened fingers and fall to the floor. Your heavy breathing quickly got the best of you, your chest heaving, tears continuing to stream down your face.

As you turned back to Aaron, he was holding one last item in his hands. His voice was cautious, “that’s the last of it.”

Looking up at him through damp eyelashes, you glanced down at the item he was holding, and let out a deep sigh. You simply took it from his grasp and threw it at the wall with no hesitation, another scream ripping through your chest, as your knees gave out and you collapsed to the floor.

The final item had been a flower vase. You knew there was no way Aaron could have known the story behind it, the magnitude of hatred and regret it held, but the fact that it had been the last thing from your relationship that you would smash was quite poetic.

It was a gift he’d given to you after your first fight. You couldn’t even remember what the fight had been about, but you distinctly remember never having received a verbal apology for the way you’d been spoken to. His answer to everything throughout the entire relationship had been to simply buy you gifts as a distraction from the fact that he never truly cared about how much he’d hurt you.

You should have seen the red flags waving in the wind and decided that you deserved better.

You should have walked away right then and there.

The second your knees hit the floor, Aaron was by your side. In no time at all, he had both of your face shields removed and tossed to the side. Without a word, he simply wrapped his arms around you a pulled you into his chest. Your arms were limp at your sides, complete exhaustion making it impossible for you to reciprocate the hug. As wave after wave of deep uncontrollable sobs echoed throughout the room, he just held you, his grip only growing tighter with every minutes that passed.

“He bought her..” you gasped, “the same flowers,” another shaky breath, “he used to buy for me.”

Once you were finally able to breathe for more than a split second, you used that opportunity to turn to the side and nuzzle your body even closer to his. Your hands were now on one of his thighs, fingertips gripping the sturdy material of his jeans. As you buried your face into his chest, he rested his chin on top of your head, and pulled you even closer.

“The last thing he said to me..” you squeezed your eyes shut as the anger you felt rushed through you again, “this morning, when you saw me..” your voice was uneven, cracking with every word, “is that she was better in bed..”

In an instant, that same anger he’d felt that morning, seeing you so beaten down, was coursing through his veins yet again. How could anyone be so heartless? That was an awful, downright cruel, thing to say to someone. And for it to be the last memory you had of him, Aaron knew he’d done that on purpose, and it boiled his blood.

With your cries now muffled against his shirt, he could feel each and every one of your tiny gasp for air as they cemented themselves deep within him. He couldn’t deny the he aching he felt for you any longer, and in that moment he decided he was going to hold you for as long as you needed, until you finally felt whole again. He didn’t care if it took weeks, months, or years. Nothing on earth was ever going to tear him away from you.

“I should have seen the signs..” you were trying desperately to regain your composure, “I should have left sooner.” With one final deep breath in, your cries finally subsided, as you admitted weakly, “It’s my fault. It’s all my fault.”

He responded swiftly, not allowing your negative thoughts time to simmer, “none of this is your fault.”

Pulling back from his embrace slightly, you looked him in the eyes, face heated and cheeks damp from tears, “how do you know that?”

Bringing one hand up to the side of your face, he gently wiped the tears from both of your cheeks before brushing the hair out of your face, “because I know you.”

You simply stared at him, almost as if you were expecting him to break, change his mind and agree with you. Agree that you were the problem, and that he had every right to do the things he’d done.

When you didn’t respond he added, “you have the kindest, most genuine and caring heart of anyone I’ve ever known. There is nothing in this world that you ever could have done to deserve the things that happened to you. The way he treated you.”

Another deep sigh escaped your lips as you diverted your gaze from his. Focusing on the way your fingertips fidgeted with the seam along the outside of one of his pant legs, you desperately tried to allow yourself to believe the words he was saying. He could tell by the look on your face that they weren’t fully sinking in, but he was going to keep repeating them until one day they finally did.

After a few seconds of silence, he placed his warm palm against the side of your face once more, pulling your attention back to him. Once your eyes connected, he spoke soft and slow, trying his hardest to make sure you heard every word he was saying, “I know you can’t see it right now, but things will get better. This pain you’re feeling will fade. You are meant for so much more than this. This is not where your story ends.” As he spoke, he was dangerously aware of just how deeply he wished he could be that future for you. “If he couldn’t see how special you are, then that’s his loss. You deserve someone who will stop at nothing to make sure you know just how incredible you are.”

You didn’t know it then, but everything he was saying was a confession of his love for you. He so desperately wanted to be the one who could prove to you that you are desired, loved, and valued.

Using what little energy you had in you, you leaned into his chest once more and encircled his wait with your arms. As you pulled him close, you could feel the gentle kiss he placed against your hair, before resting his chin on top of your head once more.

Your voice was a mere whisper, “thank you..”

His arms tightened around you once more, covering you in love and acceptance, and protecting you from harm.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

As the next day rolled around, you found yourself waking much more refreshed than you’d been in over weeks. As Aaron’s face flashed through your mind, you couldn’t ignore the comforting feeling that washed over you. You knew you’d never be able to thank him enough for what he had done for you, and what he would continue to do.

Having forgotten about your exchange the day before with Derek and Emily, you were unprepared for the interrogation that followed the second you stepped foot though the double doors.

“Soooo..” Derek’s voice was inquisitive, with Emily right by his side.

“Soooo what?” you asked.

They both raised their eyebrows at you. It had been pretty clear something was going on, with how swiftly you and Aaron left the day before, and how drastic your demeanour had changed overnight. “You and Hotch?”

“Yeah! What was that about yesterday?” Emily jumped in.

Heat rose in your cheeks, as a flustered smile graced your lips, “oh, it’s nothing. He was just helping me with something.” You did your best to play it off, but you knew neither of them were going to let you get away with that explanation.

“Oh come on..” Prentiss teased.

“Yeah, give us all the dirty details..” Derek spoke through a cheeky grin.

You rolled your eyes, “man you two are persistent.”

“Why do you think we’re so good at our jobs?” Emily teased, and Derek nodded in agreement.

Shaking your head, you decided that giving them the bare minimum was all you could do. Just a small amount to satisfy their curiosities. “Okay, fine.. I’m sure it’s no secret that I haven’t really been myself lately..” they both nodded, clearly having figured out something was wrong, “Hotch just suggested I go to that rage room downtown. So we did.”

Derek was quick to jump in, “he suggested you should go.. and he went with you?”

Shrugging your shoulders in an attempt to move past the conversation, you nodded and said, “yeah, it was fun.”

The two of them gave each other a knowing smile.

“What..” you inquired.

“Oh no, it’s nothing..” Prentiss stated, repeating your sentiment from earlier.

“No no, you don’t get to do that..” you teased.

“The big man’s got it bad.” Derek admitted.

Your brows scrunched as you tried to process his words. Surely he was kidding. You always teased each other about romantic relationships, but rarely about each other. Maybe they just saw the opportunity for a joke and was running with it?

You laughed, “no.. no no definitely not.”

Raising an eyebrow at you, Emily spoke once more, “all we’re saying is that we’ve all had our fair share of rough patches, and he’s never done that for any of us..”

You were only starting to heal from the unbearable heartbreak you’d experienced. You didn’t have the mental capacity to read into what they were implying. You simply shook your head, “okay, well you two have fun thinking that, I’ll be over here minding my own business.” You heard their giggles as you stepped away from them.

As you made your way through the bullpen, you couldn’t help but look up at Aaron’s office. You could see him through the open blinds, talking to Rossi. Something you would come to find out much later, was that they were having a conversation much like the one you just had.

Rossi, just like everyone else, knew about the little crush Aaron had on you. And it hadn’t taken much for Rossi to pick up on the fact that your relationship with your douchebag boyfriend had probably come to an end. He had shown up in Aaron’s office that morning, after also witnessing you two leave together the day before. And as much as he might hesitate to admit it, Aaron knew he needed the guidance as he navigated the uneven terrain.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

As the weeks passed, there were countless moments where you would find yourself right back where you’d started. With memories of your ex still running rampant in your mind, some days were worse than others. Sometimes it was just a single moment during the day where you had to step away from the team to gather yourself.

Every time that happened, every single time, Aaron was by your side. Sometimes, he could tell it was happening before you could. He’d see the look in your eyes, the way your head dropped slightly, and he would immediately make his way towards you. His gentle words always pulled you out of the despair in your mind, “hey, hey, look at me.”

As you reluctantly opened your eyes and lifted your head, once your gaze met his, you always felt the world disappear around you.

“Just focus on your breathing. In, and out.”

As you nodded gently, you breathed in deep, before slowly releasing the air from your lungs.

“Good, that’s good.”

With a few more deep breaths just the same, Aaron stood there with his hands encouragingly on either side of your arms, until you finally felt the spinning in your head stop. Once a smile graced your lips once again, he knew you were on the mend.

“Yeah, there she is. There’s that smile I love so much.”

That always did the trick, finally pulling you out of your trance.

This would continue, for months. Countless times you’d found yourself attempting to join in on team banter, only to be suddenly pulled back into the nightmare that was your mind. But every time, Aaron was by your side without hesitation.

Until the day everything changed.

Excusing yourself from the group once more, you stepped out of the restaurant waiting room, pushing past the people standing in line. The team was out for dinner, and you couldn’t help but think back to all the times you’d been there, waiting in that exact spot, for a table for you and him.

As the evening air filled your lungs, you heard footsteps behind you, and you knew it was Aaron. Without a word, he simply stood beside you and wrapped his arm your shoulders, pulling you into his side. You didn’t hesitate to lean into him, your hand coming up to rest around his back.

Following his silent instructions, you breathed in deep, then out slowly. As the air leaving your lungs released all your negative thoughts along with it, you finally felt your body relax. For the first time in a long time, you knew you were right where you were supposed to be. As long as you had Aaron by your side, you could get through anything.

You turned towards him, circling your other arm around his waist and pulling his chest to yours. He didn’t waste any time, fully encompassing you in his embrace, his arms pulling you close. As his chin rested on top of your head, your cheek pressed against his chest, you breathed in the familiar scent of him, and took comfort in how right it felt to be held by him.

He brought one hand up, slowly running his fingers through your hair, as he placed a tender kiss against the top of your head. Pulling back from his embrace slightly, his hand finding it’s way to the side of your face, you both looked into each other’s eyes, and everything clicked.

The look in his eyes told you exactly what he wanted to say, what he’d been dying to say to you for a very long time, and you hoped your eyes were conveying the same. He loved you, and you loved him.

The smile on both of your faces told you that you were right, and the understanding was there. But he also knew that saying those three little words again after the heartbreak you’d experienced wasn’t going to be easy. But he was going to wait as long as you needed. You might not be ready to say them out loud yet, but one day, you would be.

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