#but I know I should avoid going if I'm sick so I don't risk getting anyone else sick. auuughhhghhh

[reminiscentrainclouds]

The universe grants me a reprieve and cancels class due to snow tomorrow. Quite possibly the most relieving feeling ever. I've been so sick and it's been awful...I've just been lucky it's been the weekend.. I was dreading either having to go to class feeling Bad or having to stay home because of being too sick, but. Hopefully this gives me more time to get better.

[thebibliosphere]

My husband and I were discussing how the first felon is defending the FDA and how the quality control of our food is gonna basically disappear and I proceeded to have so much anxiety about it that I didn't sleep last night. How do we prepare for this? Is there a way to make food safe at home? How can we avoid getting poisoned from the grocery store? Sorry for bringing this anxiety to your inbox but I'm exhausted and scared and I'm hoping you've come up with food safety tips what with your general food complications.

I’m afraid I don’t have a solution for something of this scale and am just as equally terrified, but that said:

Check your local state regulations. Some states actually have strict testing that the FDA when it comes to certain things like milk. See if they are listing any recalls.

Stop eating things raw for the foreseeable future. Wash and cook everything thoroughly, even if the bag claims it’s pre-washed, wash it again. Cooking will also help eliminate any remaining pathogens. It means no more salads for a while but that’s okay.

For things like fruit, try to go with things that have an outer skin that can be taken off. If it requires you to cut into it with a knife, give the outer skin a scrub and rinse to reduce the chances of your knife being contaminated by anything like e-coli and then contaminating the insides by cutting it up.

For fruit that can’t be peeled, make sure to inspect and wash them thoroughly. If you are immunocompromised like me, consider cooking it down into a jam or pie filling to reduce further risk. Not as fun as eating it fresh for some people, but it’s a valid way of still getting the flavor and nutrients.

For things like milk, only drink pasteurized and ultra pasteurized. Try to get pasteurized eggs if you can too.

If you don’t have a meat thermometer, now is the time to get one. Make sore everything is cooked to its required internal temperature. For poultry, the recommended temperature is 165°F (74°C), while for beef and pork, the recommended temperature is 145°F (63°C) with a 3-minute rest time. Ground meats should be cooked to 160°F (71°C). Eggs should be cooked until the yolk is set. No more runny egg yolks for a bit until we get a competent source of information back about bird flu.

For things like flour, try to go for reputable brands that have their own independent testing facilities for things like gluten. They also usually test for other things and clean their facilities thoroughly. My go to is King Arthur atm.

Also, stop eating raw cookie dough if you’re not going to toast the flour in the oven first. That’s how a lot of people get sick, not necessarily from the raw egg, though stop eating raw egg right now if you do. Again, bird flu. [Addendum] I learned the flour trick in a job I used to work, but apparently, the pre-defunded FDA didn't think toasting the flour made it safe, so maybe just don't eat raw cookie dough. And I know someone's going to be a cunt in the notes like "I don't care I do what I want" good for you, hope saying that made you feel better.]

This is a dwindling possibility with the tariffs but try to buy food imported from other countries that still have food quality control. I get my masa harina from a small company that imports directly from Colombia. They can’t afford the gluten free label required to be classified as such in the USA, but considering Cheerios in the USA can afford to buy that label and the celiac foundation certification logo and still routinely sells contaminated produce due to not using gluten free oats and a mechanical sorting system that can’t be certified gluten free (1) (2) (3), I’m more inclined to go with other countries labeling right now.

With clean water under threat, use a filter for your drinking water. We currently use the ones by Life Straw. They don’t fit into your faucet but the LS filters are better than most of the ones that can be attached that way and the housing of the jugs and countertop filters are easy to clean. Make sure you do so once a week and change the filters as directed.

Most of this is just basic food hygiene stuff combined with what it’s like to be immunocompromised, but it’s always worth repeating in case someone didn’t know, but especially worth repeating right now with all our rules and regulating bodies going out the window 😞

[inkskinned]

it's because the bear wouldn't kill me just for being a woman. the bear doesn't kill me for fun. the bear can be shouted at, and will leave me alone. the bear won't make a tiktok complaining about how i crossed to the other side of the path when i saw him coming. if a bear kills me, it's just being a bear: it cannot understand logic. it is not acting out of malice - just fear or hunger.

bell hooks once wrote about how porches might be the only outside space left for women - it is still the domain of the house while it is also outside-but-safe. when i am in the woods, i am in the bear's home, and he has a right to defend his property. outside spaces - anywhere at night, certain parks in the day - those are often implicitly "owned" by men. i cannot explain the feeling of knowing when you have entered a man's "territory." you walk into a place and just know you are in their space. you get a sick sense - you're in danger.

the other day a group of about 8 men were fooling around in the woods while i walked my dog. i had to go around, take the extra 3 miles just to avoid them. it's okay, i like walking. this wasn't even a #feminism moment. it was just a tuesday.

what a plain and easy question. only one of the situations is seen as a tragic accident. i would rather die and have a park bench erected in my honor rather than have my family questioned about why they let me, an adult, walk in the woods in the first place when i should really be at home in the kitchen.

i worked in retail and food service. i have had women say and do absolutely heinous and abusive things to me - not because i was a woman, but because i was there, and they were angry. the way men treated me when angry was different - it was because i was a woman. you can always feel the difference, how there's an undertone of i'd hurt you worse if i could get away with it. i keep seeing people try to cite stupid statistics. why is there always a strange rage whenever women agree on things? like men can argue their way out of our lived experiences? it isn't a buzzfeed quiz - which of these traumas are you? 10 super cute ways not to fear strange men.

i have actually (thrice!) seen a bear in the wild, by the way. i died each time, obviously, and am a ghost writing to you. (it was scary but completely and utterly fine). the second encounter was a black bear with her cub. she looked at me like - do we have to do this or are we good? my dog was busy sniffing a bush, completely nonreactive. i felt like i was in a sitcom: feminist poet reacts - does she actually mean she'd choose the bear? my only thought was - she's so beautiful. her paws are massive.

and there's a part of me that feels the rage spinning out in a corner. why do we have to come up with quippy little comments in order to teach men empathy. would you rather die in a car accident or due to a mugging? and would you rather your house burn down due to an electrical fire or due to arson? gee willikers - it's almost like we're human people, and want to risk the accident versus the intention.

i would rather my last thought be oh shit, a bear rather than i'm a person too. why doesn't that matter? why don't you care?

[twomiddlefingersforthehaters]

Kishi shows us that everyone in the Narutoverse somehow understands the feelings between Naruto and Sasuke, that the two of them are somehow connected, and that the two have some influence on each other and If something happens to one of them, the other will react in an extreme way. Kishi used his other characters to point this out and make us pay more attention to Naruto & Sasuke.

A scene where Sakura and the others are doubting of Naruto and Sasuke's feelings for each other is something Kishi can't do directly. Otherwise, it would cause a lot of trouble, and it would confirm that there really is something going on between the two. readers are already confused and complaining about it without even those scene. But at least some readers finally see the gay and understand the narrative.

1. HAKU

Sasuke exposed his weakness (Naruto) in front of a enemy. Observing every move to avoid serious injury and forced to awaken his Sharingan to protect Naruto, of course Haku was watching him and absolutely found his weakness and used it against him. Haku knows if Naruto is used the fight will be over because Sasuke would jump in front of Naruto to save him.

2. OROCHIMARU

• Orochimaru recognizes the impact Naruto has on Sasuke's says a lot! He wanted to separate them immediately....if Sasuke ran away from his goal of becoming strong and risked his life for 'Naruto'....it would have hindered his plan.

• Also, when Orochimaru deliberately emphasized, “MySasuke-kun”… With this comment, Naruto's anger finally reached its peak and got insane to the point of sprouting 4 tails.

Some Native speakers reactions to Naruto's “ Don't say Sasuke's name in front of me like he's yours”

1. “You snap(get angry) there? Well, How should I say it?...Isn't that a little off? ”

2. “It was around the Sai arc that people started calling Naruto homosexual”

3. “ I think it would be much better without this -> "In front of me" ”

4. “He had been angry for a long time, but I got the impression that he lost his temper over this comment ”

5. “This line from Naruto is incomprehensible and scary, but I don't think it would be so strange if Itachi (or even Fugaku) said something similar and got angry at Orochimaru”

6. “Regardless of whether Naruto's anger and how he expressed it were justified or not, if you consider that Naruto is gay and in love with Sasuke, then it's an understandable emotion”

7.“ Even if the subject is a love interest, I'm still saying it's a strange line.”

@reply: “I don't agree with it, but I think there are ex-boyfriends who are so possessive in real life too.”

8. “That's weird for a shounen manga protagonist”

9. “Does that mean Kishimoto-sama knowingly making Naruto sick? Or was it that he wanted to emphasize, both inside and outside the work, that Sasuke is special to Naruto and that it is difficult for others to understand or interfere in their relationship?”

The word used by the said person was 病ませていた｡ Its dictionary form is 「病む (やむ)」 which means "to suffer from some disease/ illness/sickness". 「病ま」 is the imperfect form and 「せる」 is a causative auxiliary verb. So 「病ませる」 means "to make someone sick". 「病ませた」 is its past form. 「病ませてい た」 is its past progressive form.

10. “The Nine Tails' tail is gross, the lines are terrible, he has too many tantrums, he says Sasuke too much, etc.”

11. “If he was gay, would that explain it...? Doesn't that mean he has romantic feelings for Sasuke after all?”

12. “Even though you took the trouble to change the lines between the magazine and the book, you didn't delete "in front of me," Kishimoto-sama, You're particular about that”

[when publishing a book, changes may be made to the version published in the magazine (Weekly Shōnen Jump).]

@reply: “The fact that he sometimes fix things and sometimes doesn't it shows that Kishimoto-sama is aware of his abnormality is quietly frightening”

13.“At first glance, he's a bright, friendly Jump protagonist, but as soon as Sasuke gets involved, things get weird. That's what makes him unique and interesting.”

• Sensing Naruto's chakra, Sasuke quickly ordered to lead the way. As usual Orochimaru does not failed to notice the sudden mood changes in Sasuke.

• Sasuke was watching Naruto when Obito taunting and provoking him and he was crying when Obito sucked everyones's chakra. And of course Orochimaru noticed that Sasuke seems to be in a bad mood.

3. PAKKUN

Pakkun emphasizes Sasuke's attempt to protect Naruto despite in his bad condition.

4. KABUTO

5. KAKASHI

It's conon Sasuke is Naruto's Driving force and he's the one making Naruto stronger and stronger...

This panel shows that even other people, like Kakashi, can see that Naruto is really working so hard for Sasuke. Because Naruto, personally, believes in Sasuke and wants to save him.

6. ITACHI

When Itachi visited the village to kidnap Naruto after Hiruzen's death...Sasuke came between them. And Itachi noticed the way Naruto was so furious to draw Kyuubi chakra to protect Sasuke. Maybe that's why he came to this conclusion and asked Naruto “can you choose between Sasuke and Konoha? ”

7. SAI, PAIN & RAIKAGE

• Sai questioning “Why does that naruto still care/concerned about sasuke or why does he feel strongly about Sasuke despite he betrayed and hurted him?”

• Sasuke stated in their first fight that Naruto would never be able to understand him because he never had anyone in the first place no family no siblings, he was always alone. Now, Pain fixed that problem by nuked the village and pretty much murdered everyone. After the fight, Naruto recollects what Sasuke said in Vote 1 and what pain told him. Naruto realizes that he was wrong to think he knew what Sasuke was going through without having experienced something similar to what Sasuke did. After the death of jiraiya he understand a bit about wanting to avenge your important ones' death and how much it devour you. He now realized that it wasn't realistic that he thought he could get through to Sasuke without understanding his feelings and pain. That's why he says he understands Sasuke in this arc.

• this not considered friendship in the Shinobi world

(he's begging on his knees to spare sasuke's life but he's threatening cloud its so funny)

8. TOBIRAMA

In the Land of Waves arc, when they were only 12 years old, they could team up together without any direct communication. We know that the last time they fought together was 4 years ago, even then they could team up together without any direct communication.

9. KURAMA

• Sasuke couldn't even handle Naruto losing his arms despite he himself had lost one. How would he react when he sees Naruto dead in front of his eyes???? Those expression and his lines before proves that Sasuke may have had his mind set on killing Naruto. But the reality is that if that happens, his heart could not handle it. Kishi used Kurama to foreshadow this.

• Naruto gives kurama an extreme Glare when kurama lectures him about how he's never been able to do anything for Sasuke. And later in the war arc Naruto flashbacked about Sasuke and showed everyone that he regrets not reaching out to Sasuke back then when they were kids, even though he wanted to reach out to him.

• It's such an unnecessary scene, but Kishi brings up the kiss again lol. As usual, Naruto reacted very dramatically.

He had the same reaction when he accidentally kissed Sasuke in chapter 3, after which he quickly went to Sakura to verify his feelings and it didn't take him long to realize that he loves Sasuke. Kishi's deliberate thoughts and plans in that chapter screams “Naruto might be a Gay boy who wants to deny it really hard ”

Otherwise, Kishimoto literally didn't have to do any of this!!

10. EBISU

It's from the Pain arc, where Ebisu Sensei remembers Naruto's growth. From everyone calling him a 狐のガキ = kitsune no gaki = fox brat Or a "Kyuubi kid" to actually calling him by his real name “Naruto”.

[ガキ: in a rough way to say, which has negative nuance. This word comes from Buddhism monsters "餓鬼(がき)= gaki" born in the hell, which devour foods. There are people who call their children "gaki," but I don't think they mean it in a bad way. However, as a listener, it leaves a bad impression. The word "gaki" can also be used in a negative sense to describe a childish or immature person. ]

The memories begin with the people of Konoha hating him, and later the people of Konoha praise Naruto for stopping Gaara from attacking Konoha, and for bringing Tsunade in as the 5th Hokage.

When Jiraiya died the villagers says, “Is Naruto okay? He will not lose his heart, he will keep looking forward". Before that this panel appears when it comes to Sasuke. Even the people of Konoha felt that Naruto would be depressed if Sasuke wasn't in Konoha with Naruto.

The word used here is 落ちこんで which means to be depressed; to feel down; to feel sad; to be in low spirits.

落ちこんで is the conjunctive form of 落ち込む and the particle で is added to express the state in which the action of ``depression'' is in progress.

e. g:

- 彼は失恋して、しばらく落ちこんでい た。

- kare wa shitsuren shite , shibaraku ochikondeita .

-He was heartbroken and depressed for a while.

- 仕事のストレスで、彼は毎日落ちこんで過ごしている。 - shigoto no sutoresu de , kare wa mainichi ochikonde sugoshiteiru.

-He feels depressed every day due to the stress of work.

[thatmclarengirlie]

i'm sick of the keyboard warriors

can we just talk for a minute? i don't feel like i need to justify myself as far as the fact that i love lando and oscar equally goes. i'm saying this as unbiased as i can and what i can guarantee you is that i would advocate for this exact thing if the roles were to be reversed as well.

when mclaren grants team orders, the entire world shits on them for it. am i denying that some of the strategy calls last year were... questionable? absolutely not, i screamed about it numerous times. but whenever the call favors lando, people think that they're diminishing oscar, that they're not giving him a fair chance, etc. oscar has signed a contract that puts the team with two #1 drivers.

on that note, all you have to do is go back to china mclaren radios. it is clear as day they were told not to fight, to not cause risk and that was with who in front? oscar. to say that mclaren doesn't give him priority when he's ahead, at least this season, is just wrong because look to the previous race.

australia? of course i can only speculate and i don't know why the team did what they did, but oscar also had opportunities to pass lando there and he didn't. the absolutely lovely weather in australia probably also had the team wary and wanting to avoid issues.

and then when mclaren doesn't grant team orders, people STILL shit on them for it. oscar and lando were allowed to race today. to my knowledge, there was no team order, no call not to fight. and as much as i love oscar, what is he expecting, for the team to just give him a free overtake?

i'm not one to give an opinion without facts, so i went back and looked through lando and oscar's lap by lap from the japanese grand prix. and excluding pitstop laps, lando was faster for 27 and oscar for 24. so to say that oscar consistently had better pace is just wrong. he had a fast final stint, but guys! if he was REALLY that much faster why couldn't he overtake?

the reason the "team orders" were in that order at all was because lando was ahead. and why was that? because he qualified faster than oscar. they can't put team orders in quali, can they? no, that was pace. that was lando's best, and today's points and p2 trophy is what he gets to show for it.

i'm sick of people saying there should have been a team order because i know damn well that if the roles had been reversed, if lando had been the one to request the team order people would have called him a baby, a driver who can't win without being handed it to him, all of the horrible things people say JUST to be cruel.

you will (almost) never see me upset about a mclaren 2-3 (cries in monza 2024), especially not when max had the incredible weekend that he did, hats off to him because that was truly impressive. but can we please stop trying to diminish drivers? can we please stop forcing opinions regarding who's better and who deserves priority?

if you're still here, i appreciate your tolerance for my frustration <3

[the-offside-rule]

Carlos Sainz Jr (Scuderia Ferrari) - First Snow

Day 2 of Christmas

Carlos sat in his and Y/n’s shared bedroom, dressing the newest member of their family in various layers of fluffy clothes. Y/n always found Carlos’ careful side funny whenever he was around the baby. There were corner protectors on each and every corner of the house and now that winter had hit, he had spent a lot of his money on warm clothes. “Carlos, I think she will overheat if you put any more layers on her.” Y/n chuckled, looking in the doorway. “You think?” Carlos lifted the 10 month old, her face looking chubbier because of all the layers her father had on her. Her joyous grin still as cute as ever. “I think we could do with a layer or two less, Carlitos.” Y/n said. “No, no, I am not risking Julietta getting sick.” He turned her around to face him and began peppering her face in kisses. “Isn’t that right, bebe? I would never let anything-”

“You do know that too many layers can make her overheat? Then we’ll be in a lot of trouble.” Carlos sat her back down onto his lap. “So less layers?” He asked. “Just a few.” Carlos nodded and removed some cardigans and shirts. “Can I put on the bear jumper?” He was of course talking about the fluffy jacket his mother had bought for Julia to wear to the paddock, where she became well known for it. “Of course. Then we can bring her outside.” Y/n reassured him. “Her first snow.” Carlos hummed. "You're more excited than she is."

"No, she's excited. Can you not tell?" He was saying in his baby voice. "Come on, Sainz. I think we should get a start here." He nodded along, taking off two layers. "Can you hold her while I put a jacket on?" He asked. "I'll bring her outside. You take your time." Y/n assured him. Carlos was speedy with his jacket, not particularly wanting to spend any time away from his daughter that he didn't have to. After all, it's not everyday he gets to see her during the season, so the pre-season became his new favourite time of year. As he walked down the stairs, wrapping his scarf around his neck. It wasnt any scarf, it was a scarf Y/n had bought for him when she moved in with him in London, back when he joined Renault. They had been through so much, but their love was in just as good condition as that scarf.

Carlos opened the door and saw Y/n leaning down and looking at the ground. Carlos looked confused. Where was his daughter? "Look, baby! Your papa is coming." Y/n cooed. Carlos heard the cutest giggles but no sign of his daughter. "Look at her doing snow angels, Carlos." His heart raced. He began running over towards her and as he grew closer, he spotted the baby wiggling around in the snow with the biggest smile on her face. "What are you doing?!" Carlos nearly screeched, picking her up and into his arms. He held her closely in his chest and looked at Y/n angrily. "She's playing, Carlos. It's safe for her to play in snow. We even asked the doctor last weekend like you wanted." Y/n replied, trying to remain calm. "No, no! I want to keep her safe!" Carlos said defensively. "Carlos, she is nearly 10 months old, now. She can play in the snow." He huffed. "I'm bringing her back inside." Carlos muttered. "This was such a bad idea. Why would I-"

"Okay, okay, listen." Y/n held onto both of Carlos' arms. "Breathe." She said. "Breathe? I am breathing, Y/n!" Carlos snapped back. "Then calm down, maybe?" Carlos scoffed. "I don't want her getting sick." He said. "Shes going to eventually. You can't stop that from happening." Y/n chuckled. "No, but I'm can try avoiding it." Carlos mumbled, kissing his daughter on the head. "Carlos. Think of how excited we were for this. Look at how happy she looks." Carlos sighed. "I know. I'm just worried. I haven't got too much time to spend with her this year." He explained. "I don't want some of my only memories of her being that she's sick." Y/n caressed his cheek. "I know, but we just need to let her get on with it I'm afraid."

Y/n and Carlos smiled as Julia threw snow into the air and laughed in delight. Occasionally throwing some at the dogs and giggling when they sneezed back and tried biting the snow. "Do you ever look at how far we have come?" Carlos asked suddenly. "As parents?" Y/n asked. "I mean as a couple. Take this how you will, but I didn't expect us to last this long. Especially when you started college." Y/n chuckled. "We didn't see eachother that much during those years, did we?" Carlos shook his head. "And now look at us. We have a dog, a house, and we have Julia too." He said. "You forgot we're married now." He grinned. "I know. Its crazy."

Julia looked back at her parents. They noticed and waved before something incredible happened. She decided then and there to hold onto the dogs laying beside her and trying to push herself up but falling back down. Carlos jumped up to go get her, but Y/n pulled him back. "Just wait." She said. As Carlos and Y/n watched their daughters multiple attempts, hoisting herself up then falling. "If she doesn't make this one I'm getting her." Carlos whispered. "Okay. That's fine." Y/n replied. They watched as she once again leaned on the dogs, pushed herself up and this time, she stood. Carlos smiled and clapped for his daughter. "Muy bien! Very good, Julietta!" He cheered. Before they knew it, Julia stepped one foot in front of the other and leaned forward to walk.

"She stepped! Y/n she stepped!" Carlos said in disbelief. Y/n chuckled. Julia's first laugh had been while Carlos was away doing work with Ferrari. The first time she crawled was while Carlos was away at the Dutch Grand Prix. She first stood up in the Ferrari garage in Austin while Carlos had been out racing. Any of her huge milestones had been missed by Carlos, so her father was obviously ecstatic to be seeing his little Julia talking her first step. "I know. Such a clever girl." Y/n said. Carlos opened his arms wide, encouraging his daughter to walk. She instead giggled again and dropped on all fours to crawl over to her dad. "Nearly there. You're so smart." Carlos smiled, pecking her face a few times. "Should we go inside now? We don't want her getting sick now, do we?" Carlos looked back at his wife.

"No, we definitely do not." He replied. "Okay, Papa Sainz. Let's get some hot chocolate going." She said. "Oh my god, I'm actually Papa Sainz now."

[tree-obsession]

2.2 SPOILERS!! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

this is a small lore discussion! mostly speculation and theories- i have not seen leaks about 2.3 plot yet, but i have seen a couple about boothill's character stories, so please keep that in mind!

trigger for mentions of suicide(aventurine) and mega corps(the ipc)

we have to talk about the ending cutscene with aventurine and boothill more! i'll start with my fav parts that no one really has brought up yet:

Aventurine intimidating Boothill after mentioning the guards are out- Boothill sounded so offput and hasty while reassuring him they were just knocked out, and we have to talk about aventurine himself just being intimidating more honestly his glare actually did kind of scare me.

Boothill pointing a gun at aventurine was. well. i'm sorry i did actually laugh at that. boothill i think you should research your targets a bit more honestly that guy is NOT afraid of guns. he fully walked into the nihility and pointed at least one gun at himself, and just got out of his own meticulously-planned suicide. threats of death won't work, sorry. also he has good reason to hate oswaldo schneider as well- threats didn't even have to be used, probably! he would kill him too, probably(revenge arc go go go!!)

the convo between aven and jade was. yeah. why he's betting his life again, i don't know (maybe sarcasm? or it was really just banter?) but it does seem like the two of them aren't super close at all, at least from what little i could gather. also if diamond hurts aventurine the entire fandom will kick his ass, emanator or no, so he better be prepared for that too lol. also, it was a pretty common theory aventurine would leave the ipc after exiting nihility, since acheron presumably broke his ties- i wonder why he went back? perhaps he had no plans as to where to go, or he has some ulterior motive?

how did he get out of nihility so unscathed? (for context, i haven't gotten aven's text messages yet, but i'm aware of some of their contents since they've been floating around w/out spoiler tags. the messages are mentioned a bit here if you wanna avoid spoilering!) i know argenti got him out, but 1) why was argenti there, or where did he even find him? and 2) that seems so random- both argenti and jade confirmed it, but plot-wise what's even the point of argenti pulling him out? also argenti said he was in a "woeful state" when he got out, and apparently the stonehearts are willing to give aven a break (which i'm assuming is major, since stonehearts are super important and have a lot of responsibility, plus he just destroyed a cornerstone) so him already being back on his feet when we see the phone call is a bit weird right away. he doesn't even sound sick, and ratio or any other doctor is nowhere in sight! (message spoilers start here) i'm aware the aventurine cornerstone was fully shattered/destroyed while protecting him from nihility- was he really in there for who-knows-how-long without any protection at all? he's apparently having nightmares and the ipc needed to call in a doctor of chaos to treat him, which is concerning considering his mental health and general will to live were extremely low even before walking into the nihility. like he genuinely has some of the worst will to live i've ever seen in a character or human being- walking through the nihility should have utterly destroyed him mentally and physically, but it didn't. 2.3 HAS to give us a whole lotta context, especially with nihility lore (my favorite aeon, i may be biased) and more about the ipc!

anyway, thank you for reading this poorly formatted, stream-of-consciousness word vomit about 2.2's aventurine lore. hope you liked it! drop ur thoughts in replies and reblogs plz they give me life(although i will be very busy next few weeks, so please don't be offended if you want a reply and don't get it, im so sorry!)

2.2 was peak- a bit slow, but the story was some of the best, if not the best stuff hoyo has given us in terms of writing quality. so great! i cried for sure, and that boss battle was just everything- especially the music. robin my lesbian queen if i didn't have to pull for firefly i would get your lightcone for sure...

see you all next time! thx for sticking around (:

[soulsoffairlight]

Dear ADHD friends, especially my newly diagnosed ones/ those who are just starting out on medications,

I am not a doctor. But I feel that every ADHDer taking medications should know,

Your ADHD medicine may stop working over time. This is called tolerance. It is normal and even to be expected.

Try not to immediately let your doctor up your dosage... and possibly make you feel the need to abuse.

Please, CONSIDER ASKING YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT TOLERATION BREAKS FIRST.

(Toleration breaks without guidance can lead to withdrawal, please be very careful and research the medication you are taking.)

And if you must increase dosage to the max and find yourself growing tolerant,

REMEMBER THAT THERE ARE MANY OPTIONS OUT THERE. YOU DO NOT NEED TO RESORT TO ABUSE.

Drug abuse, in general, is a stigmatized topic, and toleration for prescribed stimulants is something that I believe doesn't get talked about enough.

Your health is far more important than your grades, your work, and anything else your ADHD medicine may assist you with.

Toleration is your brain's response to the effects of stimulants over time. While some people experience it faster than others and it varies from person to person, there's a good chance that everyone taking stimulants will come across it at one point.

But once it happens, it's not the end of the world.

I'm recovering from stimulant abuse, and I NEED you to know, my friend:

The capitalist mindset may make you feel like you need to prioritize your ability to keep up with a neurotypical society over all else, but trust me. Your health comes first. No matter how demanding the world can be for us, you should NEVER risk hurting your body just to satisfy the increasingly harsh expectations of those around you.

Doctors will often immediately resort to upping your dosage in response to toleration. Once you've found your ideal dosage, avoid this unless absolutely necessary. Discuss toleration breaks with your doctor first.

It's a capitalist tactic to up your dosage when it's possibly not necessary with a little bit of breaks and listening to your brain.

By going off your medicine for a certain amount of time, the lack of stimulus may help your brain reduce that tolerance.

I didn't know this because toleration breaks don't get talked about enough.

This is what led me to stimulant abuse.

I kept growing tolerant to my medicines in a couple of weeks. Every time, my psychiatrist upped my dosage.

Eventually, I was at the max dosage. But I grew tolerant yet again.

I felt that I needed to risk my health in order to stay on top of school. So, instead of trying to take a break or getting help from my parents/doctor, I began to combine my medication with heavy energy drinks. Even if it worked, I felt sick. I was nauseous. I was shaky. I vomited. I couldn't eat. I struggled to breathe.

But I continued, and eventually started double dosing.

I became violently angry to the point I lost multiple friends. My stress was at an all-time high to the point where I couldn't sleep at night. I began to lose weight because I couldn't eat due to both loss of appetite and a sudden fear of gaining weight. My physical health got worse and worse. My goal was to get my grades up, but my grades also suffered.

Not long after, my body finally had enough, and I almost had a heart attack.

My parents finally saw through my masking and realized that something was wrong. I was taken to therapy where I got the help I needed.

I was taken off the medications for some time... and yes, I struggled with school. However, with the help of therapy, my parents, and teachers, I was able to make it through.

By the time I took my medicine again at a lower dose, it worked just like it used to. As I continue to heal, toleration breaks help me in ways that I cannot express in words. I've gotten much better thanks to it.

I learned it the hard way.

Stimulant abuse is never the answer. It's not worth it.

Some time without your medicine may be difficult, but trust me. It's far more worth it than risking your health and even life only for it to make everything worse. I'm BLESSED that my situation wasn't worse.

Keep your head high. Know that you are not a working machine, and you are a strong, beautiful human being that can get through this. You may feel belittled by the neurotypical "standards" that our society unfortunately has, but you're worth way beyond that. It's up to you to put your foot forward and have a say in your treatment.

And if you are currently going through stimulant abuse, know that you've got this. It's not your fault. You're completely valid. There is plenty of hope. Seeking help can save your life. Reach out to parents, doctors, school counselors, teachers, family members... ANYONE.

If you don't have anyone you feel you can safely speak to, here are some resources:

US:

UK:

FIND HOTLINE FOR YOUR COUNTRY:

[musashi]

This is a strange question, but when it comes to masking, should we technically have always masked in public before COVID hit? Like, the flu used to be a big epidemic, but now we have vaccines and don't mask for it. I know there's still a COVID epidemic going on, but will there ever be a time to stop masking for that like we used to in your opinion? Is it best to be safe and just mask regardless of any recent/current pandemic to keep down the odds of catching or spreading any type of illness?

i mean, you can't compare covid and the flu. the flu is a respiratory virus that, while deadly, tends to only effect the respiratory system. it's true that anything including a cold can trigger dysautonomic conditions/symptoms, but nothing comes close to the disabling rate that covid has.

covid is a virus that affects every single organ, including the brain and heart. it's way scarier than the flu, and at present, way harder to manage/prevent due to frequent mutation, incredibly high r0, and the fact that it lingers in the air for hours after the infected person has shed virus.

flu vaccines are the result of decades of medical advancement, tons of time and effort has gone into tracking and predicting flu strains and rolling out vaccines. covid is still way too new for that despite mutating less than the flu.

whether you should be masking or not really depends on if you want to give someone else your viruses. like, yeah, if you weren't masking before during flu season, especially if you weren't getting your flu shot, if you've ever had the flu, you have 100% given it to someone else. the incubation period can last up to 5 days and, like covid, you can be contagious the whole time without a single symptom.

i wasn't masking then because, like, i was just raised in a world where the flu exists and so i just kind of assumed anyone who wanted to avoid it would be vaccinated & not crowding out indoors during the fall and winter. and because, like, while the flu can very much hospitalize, most people recover from it relatively unscathed. those who don't tend to take the proper precautions because that's what life is like when you're disabled, you have shit down to a system.

covid isn't like that tho. it does not matter who you are, covid can and will quite literally rot your brain and make your organs fail. covid has completely destroyed the cognitive function of half the population and it does not discriminate no matter how healthy or fit you are. no one is safe from it, even me fully vaccinated and wearing a kn100, a bitch who no longer eats out or attends events or does anything that might put me at risk. it could get me tomorrow and disable me for life.

like. i need to ask you why you're asking me. i'm not a medical professional, nor am i some holy beacon with all the right answers, i am just a tumblr user. my personal moral code is just that--personal. i will mask until it is safe. both for me, and for everyone else. i am a leftist, my actions and politics are rooted in empathy, masking is a no brainer. it's uncomfortable and i miss makeup but like... when i was 4 i used to dream myself a knight slaying beasts in the name of a vast kingdom because i wanted to be a hero who fought the good fight. and now i'm 29 and it turns out that's less 'big fucking sword' and more 'do a small thing that inconveniences you to stop people from dying.' it's literally not even a question.

why are you asking me, man? what do you wanna do? do you wanna ensure you don't give randos at the grocery store a preventable illness? then, like, yeah. wear a mask. just whenever.

i'm taking this thang off as soon as it stops being a hazard to my fellow man tho i fucking LOVE being sick gimme that sweet sweet fic insp omnomnom

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Mr. Chicken

Debut: Rhythm Heaven Megamix

The year is unknown. The world as we know it is unrecognizable. Ocean now covers nearly all of the planet's surface, and the remaining landmasses jut sharply upward, connected only by brittle stone bridges, if anything. And yet, despite all this...

This chicken bought himself an electric car, and he's ready to take it for a ride!

Mr. Chicken is the star of Charging Chicken, which is a game of chicken! You know, like, trying to get as close as possible to something without going over? I don't actually know why that's called chicken. Hold on, I have to look something up.

Ah! It is called that because the original game of chicken involved two drivers driving right toward each other, where one or both must swerve away, or risk crashing. If only one swerves, that driver is the Chicken, in the "coward" sense of the word. I would not call avoiding a car crash cowardly, but I cannot speak for people who would intentionally drive toward each other in cars! This does not help the reputation of the humble chicken.

Thankfully, Mr. Chicken is not driving into head-on traffic. Unfortunately, he is driving toward a landmass only a few feet wide, with a drop straight down into the ocean on the other side. Why is he doing this? Is he stupid? Yeah, I think so.

I don't know if Mr. Chicken is a terrible driver, his car is terribly designed, or both! The moment it finishes charging, it immediately zooms straight at full speed, so either it drives recklessly on its own until it runs out of fuel, or this chicken has the gas pedal slammed down to the floor at ALL times. I would not put it past him.

All this is bad enough, and that's without even mentioning that chickens barely have any depth perception! That's why they (and other prey birds) bob their heads while they walk- the things that they see will appear to move at different speeds depending on how far from the eyes they are! Delightfully, Mr. Chicken DOES indeed bob his head rapidly while driving, so at least he's trying, I guess. But if there is anything you take from this post, I hope it is that a chicken would not be good at driving a car.

Nevertheless, THIS chicken has his driver's license, somehow. And we get to hear his own thoughts about it!

"I've been driving for almost three years now. I get pulled over all the time, and I keep expecting a police officer to comment on my license picture--I look so good!"

I am happy he is proud of his photo. I'm sure it looks great, I always love looking at a photo of a chicken. I even included one in this post! They are so fun to look at. But getting pulled over all the time? I am disappointed in him! I don't feel comfortable with such a reckless driver on the road! If only he would change his ways, but that is surely too much to expect...

"When my safe driving record got me the gold driver's license, I asked if I could keep my same picture. It's such a cute picture of me!"

Wow! He changed his ways, despite me not having faith in him! It turns out even a digital chicken has the capacity to change. I am proud of him! This is now a chicken who all drivers should aspire to be like, in terms of both safety and self-love!

The non-Japanese versions of the game feature this, quite frankly, sick mural of Mr. Chicken and his car at the end of Machine Remix! I don't think this is his own garage, since there is a whole Car Guy character that this stage is hosted by, so maybe he's a beloved customer, and became a sort of mascot. He probably crashes enough cars to keep a repair shop in business!

There is even more to Mr. Chicken but I don't feel like writing anymore! Check out this official comic if you want to see some rooster heterosexuality.

[dystopianam]

A small list of drama gameplay mods [Higher Death %, Deadly Diseases, Functional Weapons & Social Classes]

This is not a master post, also because I don't think I have enough mods to be able to make one properly, but more of a small list where I recommend some mods that could be useful if you are the kind of person who loves to put some juicy drama into your game ✨

Explanations and download links under the cut 👇🏻

I'll be fast but as concise as I can. (It's a lie)

DEATH MODS

When you think of a mod to create a bit of drama in the game, you immediately think of ACR. Yes, ACR is now a must have for everyone... but can drama only revolve around love affairs and surprises pregnacies? Oh no!

One of the main elements that Maxis has focused on to create drama is the killing of many sims. Many have died mysteriously, others have clearly been "murdered" by others, but we all know that the only way to kill a sim is to be directly responsible for their death.

It's very hard and rare for a sim to die randomly these days. I remember years ago killing a sim was really easy, but with the latest patches it seems like it's gotten a lot harder.

And one thing that's always bugged me is...there's no way to actually have a serial killer sim.

Yes, you can lock a sim in a room with no doors, have him go into the pool and remove the ladder, or have them cook, cancel the action and hope everything catches on fire (including them) but...Isn't boring that you always have to be the one to cause these deaths? That nothing ever happens unexpectedly or that your sim can never actually be the real cause of another sim death? It's nice to play with fantasy... but if we have mods, why limit yourself? I could link you many mods that increase the chance of dying in the various ways that the game allows, but I want to link only the most realistic ones that I personally use (for example, I will avoid mods that increase the chance of dying crushed by a satellite or Murphy's bed.)

User-indirect deaths

More Dangerous Fires - As the name itself explains, this mod increases the danger of fires by spreading the flames much faster.

Fatal diseases - Theoretically, there should be a small percentage for sims for die from diseases if that is not treated properly. Some premade ancestor sims have died of disease, but have you ever seen one of your sims die of It? This mod allows your sims to get sick in very dangerous ways. Sims can die from uncured illnesses or IN SOME CASES from the choking bug. This mod has several variants, some of them should have the bug fixed, others still have it. Mine unfortunately has it, but if you have a fixed variant please let me know! (I recommend using this mod together with this mod. Increasing the risk of fatal disease puts ALL your sims at risk, so it's best to cure the ones you want to keep alive.)

Death by childbirth (Honestly I've never used it because I've seen that those who use it have a very high percentage of seeing all their sims die for childbirth, but if you want extra drama...)

Mod to kill sims...with your own sims

Functional guns (Self explanatory)

Functional sword 1 (Yes, you can kill sims with a sword!)

Functional sword(s) 2 (As above but with a better animation and you can choose the type of sword!)

Poison making station (Yes, you can poison sims!)

(Feel free to recommend other mods if you know of any!) BUT not occult ones (I want to make a separate list for those)

SOCIAL CLASSES MODS

Another thing that has always bothered me about The Sims 2 is that there is no real social class system and/or a fame system.

There are social classes in AL, but what's the point if they're just NPC sims that spawn in apartments? And they have nothing different from other sims except the way they greet?

Yes, the reputation system is also nice...it works well, but it's not what I'm looking for.

Morally it is very nice that at least in The Sims 2 there is no distinction between rich and poor, maxis itself has often struggled to represent the two social classes. For a poor sim it was always easier, you just had to throw him in the poorest house that exists and give him little money (even if I often noticed that poor sims have more money than a rich sim, but let's pretend we didn't see it, eh Maxis?) but for rich sims...mhh, Maxis has never managed to represent them properly. Yeah, jacket and tie, a slightly bigger house and slightly more money than a normal sim, but it's not enough.

Something is missing. Something that makes me see the difference between "the plebs and the nobility."

It's always bothered me that even families that aren't just rich, but noble and royal, interact with other sims as if nothing is wrong.

If you, as a normal person, were to meet a royal, I don't think at all that you would be indifferent and would address this person as if he were your next door neighbor.

Let's leave aside the Goths and Landgraabs who are simply rich (even if the Landgraabs have noble roots) but the Capp? The Monty? The Summerdream? They are MORE than rich.

I always had this impression of them that these sims were "unreachable" by common sims. That everything and scandal about them had to be on everyone's lips. That if you meet one of them at work or at school you do not remain indifferent.

Normal adult sims would like to befriend wealthy noble adults, attracted by their status and wealth.

Normal teenagers sims would look at the noble/royal teenagers in some sense surprised, literally make them the "cool kids" and fangirl over them.

"Look!! It's [noble sim name] you know that he is from a noble family??"

*LE GASP IN SIMLISH*

Unfortunately I haven't found any mods that allow this type of reaction, but I have found some that could simulate it.

The first mod that comes to my mind is simslice's fanzone cone. I've never used it because I think it's very uncomfortable due to how it's set up, but it's perfect if you want other sims to cheer on your sim as if they were celebrities. How it works: The fanzone cone is an object, literally a cone, that you place on a lot and by clicking on it you select which sim you want to be the celebrity. Sims that spawn in that lot will start cheering your sim. (The inconvenience of this mod is that you have to put a cone on any lot your sim is in, because without the cone your sim reverts to a normal sim.)

The second and third mod that I want to recommend are the ones I use and recommend the most. They are a bit "medieval themed", but if a person is noble/royal by family, they doesn't stop being so just because we are in 2024, right?)

These mods might seem a bit "old fashioned" to you, but I personally think they give the right importance to these social classes.

For both mods you need to download the trait system mod, but you don't have to use all the traits if you don't want, just the trait_MAIN is enough since the mods I'm about to link don't work without it.

While you can already simulate something using the "proper, snob and diva" traits with the trait system, I think these mods are more specific:

• Medieval Traits 1, 2, 3 & 4 (Royal, Noble, Knight, Servant etch)

Mods that work with medieval traits:

Royals & Nobles don't cook and clean (With this mod, sims with this social rank do not cook or clean. Let the servants do that!)

Social status based greet (Sims will greet other sims based on their social rank, for example, they will always bow to a noble or royal.)

Unfortunately that's all I could find. I couldn't find anything that would identify a sim as someone important like celebrities are in Get Famous in The Sims 4, where you can't even talk to them unless you're famous enough or you manage to get them to like you.

If you know of any other mods, whether related to death or social classes, please let me know and I'll add them to the list!

[electrikworm]

Good Soldier: Part 4

Relationships: Dogma & Fives, Dogma & Kix, Dogma & Tup

Content Warnings: Abuse, Blood and Injury, Burns

Summary:

Dogma's injuries are treated and Tup finds out what happened to his brother.

Word count: 2,935

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Read on Ao3

As soon as Kix made sure his vode had Krell under control, he set off back to the airbase. He's not risking Dogma's life, Kix saw how out of it he was. A head injury like that needs to be tended to, and fast. When Fives contacts him the second time, Kix' worry only increases. There's no saying what Krell is ready to do to a clone, especially one like Dogma, fiercely loyal and obedient. It makes Kix sick, knowing Krell hurt one of his men like that. Kix should have noticed. Dogma looked so unwell, Kix should have done something, should have checked him over. He failed the young clone in not doing so. What kind of injuries was he sporting when Krell tricked them into killing their own vode? He could have died so easily, fighting in his weakened state. Dogma's leaned heavily on Watcher when Kix passes the curtain. It hurts Kix to see one of his brothers like this, so despaired. Kix sends Watcher away, not wanting Dogma to feel uncomfortable. As Kix scans Dogma, Fives continues talking to him. Kix makes sure to pay attention, wanting to know as much as possible about the situation. He does interrupt them once the med scanner tells him everything wrong with Dogma, calling Fives over to look at it too. Next to a nasty concussion, the shiny has clearly been beat extensively. There's hardly a part of his body not baring bruises, he has broken ribs and fractures in his right hand. Gashes, no doubt thanks to the general's claws, on his chest and back, and burns spread across the whole back part of his body. Kix has a feeling he knows where those are from too.

The internal damage listed worries Kix. Bleeding and liver trauma. The med scanner deems it mild, but Kix is going to keep a very close eye on Dogma. Med scanners can be wrong. "Next time some shabuir kicks you in the stomach, you go directly to a medic." Kix scolds, watching Dogma closely. "You've got severe pain in your abdomen, possibly radiating in to your back too, don't you?" Dogma nods. "That's because your liver's damaged and your bleeding internally. Do you know how narrowly you avoided dying? If your internal injuries were even slightly worse, they might have killed you. Kark, even your broken ribs could have quickly become life threatening." Guilt crosses Dogma's expression. "I'm sorry." Kix sighs. "Don't apologize. It's not your fault." In truth, Kix is more frustrated with himself than the shiny. "The circumstances were complicated. Just keep this in mind for the future." When Dogma nods, Kix goes back to reading off the scanner's display. When he reads the location of the burns closer, it dawns on Kix how uncomfortable Dogma must be right now, putting pressure on at least one pair of burns. "You don't need to keep sitting like that if it hurts Dogma. You can lay on your side." The small "thank you" Dogma mutters as he changes position makes Kix frown, exchanging looks with Fives.

"At least you're not sick." Fives says. "I told you that already." Dogma says, wiping remnants of tears from his face. "Hypo." Kix says, warning Dogma before sinking the needle in his neck. "That'll ease the pain, but I can't promise its complete removal." Dogma's voice and movement are weak as he thanks Kix and nods. "Now we're going to help you out of your armor." Kix says, waiting for Dogma to nod again before carefully removing the first armor plate. "I need you to know that none of us would ever willingly let a vode get hurt like this, let alone volunteer one." "Rex alone would have never let you take the fall. Krell lied to you, vod'ika." Fives pauses the removal of Dogma's left vambrace to give his hand a quick squeeze. Dogma's face twists as he thinks, before nodding once more.

Years of wearing armor make removing Dogma's easy, even if he squirms from time to time. Kix hasn't got the heart to tell him to hold still. The last thing this shiny needs is to be told off more, and he's clearly trying his best not to move. Dogma's eyebrows are knitted together tightly in a mix of concentration and pain.

The burns are the first of the injuries they see, Pong Krell having evidently had Dogma keep his blacks on. Dogma flinches as the backplate comes off, barely audible whimper leaving his lips. Blood and serous fluid smear the inside of the armor where it's contact with Dogma's burns has rubbed the blistered skin raw. A high risk for infection, Dogma notes, going out of his way to not touch the area until he's got sterile gloves on.

While Kix is relived Dogma wasn't exposed to the additional violation of being forced to strip in front of Krell, the shiny's blacks have melted to his skin around the edges of the burns. In an ideal universe, Kix would have Dogma put in a bacta tank. But they don't have that option now.

The blisters on Dogma's legs are just as open, the insides of his knees being a particularly grim sight. How Dogma was able to walk as well as he did is beyond Kix.

“I'm cutting your blacks off Dogma.” Kix warns the shiny, searching for his bandage scissors. He'll need time to remove the melted fabric from Dogma's skin, but he needs the blacks off first to visually asses the damage done to the rest of the shiny's body.

“Please don't.” Dogma says, shaking his head. Kix sighs. He's never known Dogma to fear any medical equipment, so this must be a apprehension caused by Krell's abuse.

“I'll be careful, but I need these blacks off.” Kix says. “They're melted to your skin, we risk hurting you taking them off the normal way.”

“They're completely karked up anyway, vod.” Fives chips in.

Dogma thinks for a moment, concussion surely clouding his mind, before nodding. “Could you keep the cuts clean as possible?” He says, voice weak.

Kix is puzzled for a moment, lost on why Dogma would ask that. But then he spots the stitch work on the front of Dogma's blacks, and it dawns on him. Dogma intends to fix them. The medic shakes his head.

“You can forget about sewing these back together, Dogma. They're going straight in the bin.”

Eyes wide, Dogma looks up at Kix.

“And you're obviously getting new ones.” The medic quickly adds, realizing he'll have to be more careful with the way he phrases things around Dogma. Kix works swiftly, cutting far enough from the melted edges of the fabric as to not disturb the burns too badly.

It's one thing having a med scanner tell you what's wrong with someone and actually seeing those injuries on them. It sickens Kix to see the dark bruises painting their brother's skin and the dried blood clinging to it. If they bring Krell in alive, Kix isn't sure if he'll be able to keep himself from shooting the shabuir himself.

Once Dogma's down to his briefs, Kix swiftly gets him hooked up to an IV line. As he's inserting the needle at Dogma's inner elbow, he watches the shiny closely. He looks small, like he's moments away from curling up in a ball. Dogma's clearly exhausted. Kix'll try hard to get him treated fast so he can rest.

Fives leaves about then, giving Kix the space he needs to do his job. Kix is sure he doesn't go far though, likely lingering just outside the curtain.

The blood of the claw marks is too dry to be recent, but the burns and head injury say otherwise. “When did he do this?” Kix asks.

“He punished me twice.” Dogma looks ashamed, refusing to make eye contact with the medic. “Once yesterday, right as we were told to rest, and once today, shortly before the execution.”

Kix would love to spend time reassuring Dogma now, but knows it will have to wait until he's done treating him.

The head wound gets wrapped first, then the deeper of the lacerations on Dogma's chest are stitched and covered with bacta patches. He sets Dogma's broken hand in a brace, not having a bone-knitter on hand. Kix takes his time soaking the burns before removing the molten fabric. Whilst Dogma held surprisingly still for everything so far, even the stitches, pulling his ruined blacks from the edges of his burns makes him writhe under Kix' hands, crying out often. Kix slows his pace to calm Dogma, choosing his words carefully as to not make the shiny think he's done anything wrong.

It's a relief to see Dogma relax once bacta is spread on his burns. Kix does the same to the worst of Dogma's bruises. Dogma will have to be taught breathing exercises to help with his ribs, but with the way his eyes drop closed every few minutes, Kix decides to postpone that.

He'd originally wanted to move Dogma to another bed, but decides against it. Kix has Fives, who as expected was just outside the curtain, bring them a blanket and cushion.

The only somewhat good way Dogma can lay is on his right side. Neither his back or front are an option, and Dogma's got a particularly ugly bruise on his left hip. Once Kix has him situated, he disposes of his gloves and places a gentle hand on his brother's arm.

“None of this was your fault, vod'ika.” Kix says, making Dogma's eyes flick to look up at him sluggishly. “We'll never let anything like this happen to you again, you have my word.”

Dogma nods, but Kix just hopes the shiny knows how much he means the promise.

--

Luring Krell into the tentacled creature was one of the most terrifying things Tup's ever done. He was certain he wouldn't make it out alive.

But then it grabbed the general, and it swung the Besalisk around wildly. Krell seemed to be winning, so Tup aimed at him and shot. He wanted to stun him, they were supposed to bring him in alive, no matter how terrible of a person he was.

The stun hit him just as the creature still had him in its grip, and faster than Tup could think about what happened, the general disappeared in the toothy maw. Too stunned to do anything, Tup and multiple other troopers just stared. Only when captain Rex approached did they spring back into motion.

Retrieving the general, or rather, what was left of him, took a lot longer than expected. The creature is bigger than it looks, and so is its stomach. Still, they have to confirm if the Jedi is still alive.

He isn't. As terrible of a person Krell was, the torn up remains they pull from the animals mouth is sickening to look at. It's an awful way to go, even if Krell was horrible. Tup doesn't stick around to look at the corpse any longer than he has to.

Fear grips Tup as he learns that Kix left early to see to Dogma, who's sickness apparently took a turn for the worse. Tup tries not to listen to his vode all too much, all of them having theories as to what's wrong with Dogma, none of which Tup hopes are true.

He hurries back to the airbase, guilt heavy in his chest. Tup of all people should have been able to tell that Dogma's sick. Maybe he wouldn't have passed out if Tup had realized sooner.

Tup beelines for the temporary medbay as soon as it's in sight. Scanning the room, he struggles to spot Dogma among all the injured clones. One stands up as Tup approaches. He has his hair in a mullet, sides shaved short, and carries an arm in a sling.

“You're Dogma's friend, right?” The clone asks. Tup nods, worried about where this is going. “I don't actually know your name.”

“It's Tup.”

The clone nods, smiling. “I'm Watcher.” Then his face falls. “I can't really tell you what I know about Dogma's condition. Don't wanna violate his privacy or anything. But I think he's gonna need you there for him. He's with Kix right now.” Watcher points at the curtains in the corner of the room.

Even more worried for his brother than before, Tup hurries across the room. Fives is pacing outside the curtain, clearly agitated. He pauses when he spots Tup.

“Did you get him?” He says, brows furrowed. It takes Tup a second to understand who is meant with “him”.

“He's dead. Is Dogma alright?”

Fives sighs heavily. “I hope that shabuir suffered. I'd have loved to kill him myself.”

“Is Dogma alright?” Tup repeats, Fives clearly more occupied with his dislike for Krell than Dogma's well-being.

“I think you'd best see for yourself.” Fives says, expression darkening. At this point, Tup's worried he'll be finding Dogma dead. Moving past Fives, Tup passes the curtain.

At first, Kix blocks Tup's view. He's talking to Dogma, so he must be alive. Relief washes over him. Tup clears his throat to announce his presence. Kix turns to him, stress apparent in his movement and expression.

“Tup.” A small smile spreads on his face. He looks back to the bed. “Is it okay if Tup's here?”

“Yes.” The weak sound of Dogma's voice scares Tup, but he doesn't approach until Kix motions for him to do so. The IV connected to Dogma's arm is the first thing Tup notices.

“How sick is he?” Tup asks Kix, terrified about what the answer might be.

“He's not sick.” Kix says. “Do you want to explain?” The medic asks Dogma.

Dogma shakes his head furiously. That's when Tup spots the bandage around his brother's head.

“It's Krell.” Kix says, spitting the name. “He beat Dogma.”

Kix continues to talk, but Tup can barely hear him over the reality of the situation washing over him. Tup clenches his hands at his sides, aware of the way his body shakes as the intense emotions floods him. He wishes Krell had survived being captured, if only so Tup could kill him. He wishes he could kill him in a way far worse than dying to an animal, he wishes he could have watched the life leave the generals eyes.

“Tup?” Kix' hand on his shoulder brings Tup's thoughts back to the present. Why does his face feel wet? Is he crying? “Still with us?” Kix continues.

Tup nods slowly.

“Alright, that's good.” Kix smiles. “Now, I think it's best you stay with Dogma. I'll be around to keep an eye on him anyway, but you're closer with him. He needs the support.”

Tup nods again. Kix fills him in on the basics of Dogma's condition, and what to keep an eye on. He also explains the lie Krell told Dogma. After that, Kix gives the two a bit of space.

Tup just stands next to the bed for a while, at a loss for what to say or do. He doesn't know where to even begin to apologize. Tup should have noticed, should have been able to help Dogma. He's been a terrible brother.

“Ni ceta, Dogma.” Tup says, voice wavering. “I failed you.”

“Did you lie about me to Krell?” Dogma asks, sounding very small.

“Never, vod. You have to believe that I'd never do that.”

Dogma sighs. “Then the only one who's failed is me. I should be apologizing for letting a separatist convince me you'd do something like that.”

Tup puts a careful hand on Dogma's undamaged hand, shaking his head. “You're the last person that has to apologize.” He pauses for a moment. “He's dead, one of those tentacled animals got him. I'd love to kill him again myself, but he's dead.”

Dogma nods, not saying anything for a long while.

“Do you remember what we did as cadets?” Dogma asks, voice barely above a whisper. “You know, when one of us couldn't sleep? You think we could do that now?”

He sounds so scared. Tup would do anything to make him feel better. But still, he hesitates. There's not a lot of space on the bed, and the last thing he wants to do is hurt Dogma further.

“I don't know Dogma...”

“I know it's childish, but please. Just once, I'll never ask again.” There's despair in Dogma's voice.

“I don't think it's childish, I just don't want to hurt you.” Tup's hit by the realization that they've both assumed something about the other and come to the completely wrong conclusion. That doesn't change the fact that Tup is unsure if they can both fit on the bed safely. He turns to Kix. “Can we-”

Kix sighs loudly, interrupting Tup. “As a medic, I'm officially supposed to tell you no. But, I know how well telling clones they can't comfort their vode goes, and Dogma clearly needs it. Just be careful.”

Tup strips his armor before getting on to the bed next to his brother. He lays so that Dogma can lean his head on his chest comfortably. Putting as little pressure as possible on Dogma's body, Tup holds him.

They'll have to talk about all this at some point, but Dogma's barely awake now, and in a lot of pain. But he presses himself against Tup closely, sighing softly as he does.

“None of this was your fault.” Tup says. He doubts Dogma believes it right now, but Tup will keep being there for him and repeating it until he does.

Mando'a Translation:

Vod/vode – sibling/siblings Shabuir – fucker Vod'ika – little sibling Ni ceta – sorry, lit. “I kneel”, a grovelling apology

[freezerbnuuy]

Act 2:13 - Got your Back (Page 3)

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Gideon

"Who would you say is your closest link to him at the moment?" I ask her.

"Interestingly, a man I met on the night I returned gave me some money to stay at the inn for the night. He said Annorin's son was currently his apprentice. He was fairly well-dressed, though, even for Finchwick- so I'm wondering if maybe he might be some sort of spy of Annorin's. A strange thought, I know, but I may possibly try and find him again sometime. See if he's legitimate."

Someone who's got a tie like that might be useful. It seems a little fishy, but maybe it was worth the risk. There's a noise at the door- something through the letterbox. The handwriting on the front makes me sick. I recognise it immediately.

[Letter from Eduardo Volpe to Gideon] 

Mr. Reyes,

I haven't forgotten what you did, and I haven't forgotten you walking away. The witch problem is only worsening, and I know you're probably even poorer now than you were when you came to me grovelling for work. Think of your children! That's what you told me, wasn't it, that you did it for your children? What is unemployment doing for your children? 

The men of Henford are weak and many are getting killed, going missing, or refusing to do their part for their country. I cannot believe I'm asking, but I'm desperate at this point. You are disobedient and a nightmare, but I will admit that you are far from weak. If you genuinely care about your children, then look back into your heart and become a witchfinder again. If not, then I can always ask your young sons. Young men are much more malleable anyhow.

Choose wisely.

- Lord E. Volpe]

That bastard! I'll never rejoin his ranks. And if he tries to recruit my children, I'll slit his throat personally.

Julian

"Everyone...As your High Shepherd... I have a confession to make to all of you. 

I have failed you."

"I have misled you. I have fallen into the pit of believing lies. I have forgotten the true meaning of Jacobism. I can only ask for your apology, as well as that of the Watcher, for my actions…"

"During my recovery from a serious injury, it gave me time to reflect on the Watcher, and on my nature as the eye of Jacob, the one who should be spreading his messsage instead of the perversion of the message that has warped Jacobism over the years. 

I have taught you wrongly about the nature of fear. It should not lead us to hate- it should lead us to learn. It should lead us to do better. If we want to do better to avoid the Watcher's fury at the Eve of Retribution, then we must use fear to drive us to be better people, not to perpetrate fear and hatred. "

"What on Earth are you talking about?" one of them says. "What have you lied to us about?"

I take a deep breath.  

"The witches."

Everyone's eyes widen. Here goes nothing. 

"I've told you that everyone with magic is dangerous and deserves to die, that it is the Watcher's will...and I have turned on what I was taught. I was taught that to take a life as a Jacoban can only be done if it's justified- and magic, I believe, is not in itself any justification."

"What?! What on Earth are you saying?!" 

"Because we have no proof that magic is only something that can be used for evil. We don't know that there aren't good spells. Spells that can give life instead of take it. Spells that can help instead of hinder people. It doesn't seem unreasonable that such a thing could exist, does it?"

Half of them are thinking. The other half are scowling at me. 

"From now on, I am no longer going to speak of the evils of witchcraft until I see it for myself that it is entirely evil. I implore that you all do the same. I have no doubt that many innocent women have been killed due to the witch hunts, and I am no longer going to be a part of that with my sermons."

The din rises in the cathedral, and I order everyone to be silent in prayer.

The Watcher must have forgiven me. If They hadn't, then I surely would have died. To send Reynold Morgan, of all people, my way, to show me where I'd gone wrong...well, I couldn't tell my people that, but that is what I believe happened. I have fully recovered from that night, but I never forget what happened every time I look at the scars. They are the Watcher's reminder of the truth to me. To think I've been blind to it for so many years...

I haven't forgotten what I saw in him...the eyes of the Lunvinchenaîné. When we'd had the argument about witchcraft in my early days of meeting him, I could see it now, the remnants of the wolf within even when he was human. It terrified me. He could take a life as easy as he could grant it where the world would have taken it. The way he and his sister never used to get along at all...did that have something to do with it?

I haven't forgotten about the scar across her face. It no longer looks like a sword mark to me. It looks like a claw mark, but I can't prove it. I can't jump to a conclusion, not again. Look at all that my jumping to conclusions has done...People have died because of me.

Everyone leaves the cathedral, without an extra word. Some scowl at me. The odd few smile. The only one who stays is Clementia. 

"Julian...Thank you. That took some bravery from a Jacoban High Shepherd."

"Not as much bravery as it takes to live with witchcraft knowing people will kill you for it, Clementia...I've made a grave mistake, and I've little way to rectify it."

[dreams-and-honor]

Bestie I wanna preface this by saying I fully understand the abuse response of freezing and just being a doormat and the fear of standing up for yourself and I don't expect you to like. Actually Do This but I just thought perhaps it might help to have something reinforced from the outside: you are no longer a teenager trapped in your mothers house and forced to be under her thumb. You are a fully grown adult and she is, at this point, trespassing in your apartment that you pay for after showing up uninvited. Obviously I want you to be safe, but I do think you owe it to yourself to tell her that she needs to leave. It is fucking INSANE she and your father are putting you through this because they cant handle their own BS. Maybe talk it out with Owen so he can back you up, bc we know he will. You are not that scared little kid anymore, no matter how much she may make you feel that way. You shouldn't have to go through this.

Man, I so totally knew something like this was coming because tbh, even i'm getting tired of my bitching.

I absolutely agree with everything you've said, I just do not know how to force myself to go through with it, on god. I have been trying to build a spine for YEARS. I'm still utterly stumped.

Also let me offer an apology for letting this spiral turn me into a neurotic lunatic lately, that's not what I'm on this hellsite for.

Taking this to heart (and intense visceral consideration), let me take a moment to articulate why this is so fucking hard for me for the sake of like, putting things into perspective and also the trauma response of overexplaining things so I don't feel like a fucking idiot and just in case anyone wants to play psychotherapist for a few seconds and shoot me some advice. (tw for child abuse and general trauma dump below)

I used to argue with this woman almost on the daily, but eventually your own mother beating the living fuck out of you tends to break you down and now adult Adri is forced to live with this weird child-like need to be A Good Kid™ to A) avoid getting the living fuck beaten out of me (unrealistic), and B) i don't fucking know, get validation and love??? Who fucking knows. She was sobbing to me how I'm all she's got left because my sister refuses to have anything to do with it (she's the meanest bitch i've ever met, but at least she's got her priorities straight) and little beaten down Adri is like "Oh, that means I have to step up and do good, my poor mother who used to beat the living fuck out of me, i'd be *reads verbatim the shit she used to throw at me tattooed on my fucking hand* 'an evil ungrateful little bitch' if I refuse her."

Also taking into account what a paranoid nutjob she's become, I for SURE know that I will suffer Consequences™ should I show an ounce of defiance, I just don't know WHAT.

ANYWAY. That's what's all on my plate right now.

She offhandedly mentioned "If I can't find a new place then I'm going to have to go back home I guess" and at the risk of sounding like an awful person making someone go back into an abusive situation, I just kinda was like "Will you be okay there?" but forced myself to clam up and not object, so that's a potentially open door out.

I was literally sick with stress earlier today, so something's got to give at this point, and I know it's gotta be me. Because nothing's gonna get done if I don't do something. And I appreciate the tough love here, I really do, it was a good kick in the ass to make me pull myself together. I'm just sitting here with my head in my hands trying to figure it out. I will probably wait for Owen to get home to talk about this, and then -gestures vaugely- we'll see what we'll do. Hopefully whatever it is, it'll be asap.

[sweatertheman]

what im about to say is going to surprise a lot of people at first, but hear me out, i promise im going somewhere with this.

even though the snowgrave is an evil thing to do, removing someone's agency, seducing them into committing murder by taking advantage of their trust, causing them pain in order to make it easier to do... noelle actually comes OUT of the route a more developed person.

this isn't to say snowgrave is doing her a kindness, god no, but... you notice how different she acts regarding kris when all is said and done? she actually cares to notice something is wrong with them. then, questions why she didn't notice before. then, she decides she's going to DO something about it. this is something she doesn't do on a normal route (not yet, anyway) and is something which not only requires caring about the emotions and behavior of others, but also being confident enough in her ability to handle things that she's going to risk her own safety in order to help kris!

why does this happen? well, i think its gotta be the fact that snowgrave was fucking traumatic for her. and the thing that caused the trauma wasn't a big scary threat, it was herself. her own lack of care, her own lack of moral principles, her own lack of self-confidence which led her to be so easily manipulated. i'm not victim blaming here, she didn't deserve it, she wasn't asking for it, and i dont think she enjoyed it. but if noelle hadn't been so easily manipulated, snowgrave would've been impossible. what's more, it was by her own hand that everything happened. we just sat on the sidelines encouraging her. that's gotta fuck you up bad, realizing what evil you're capable of if you don't check yourself. thus, both due to the fact that having the maturity of a child enabled her abuse, and the fact that surviving through the abuse requires fortifying herself, noelle comes out of that experience changed into someone at least a little bit more grown. more empathetic, more confident, more capable of taking care of herself. you know, despite the trauma. she is forced to overcome.

but all this is kind of useless, right? you know, because of the trauma. of course forcing people into horrible situations forces them to either overcome or suffer the consequences, but then you commit moral atrocities and end up with a bunch of traumatized people who might suffer long term side effects and potentially end up less stable as a result. so, how can we take this and apply it to NOT murdering people?

well, the core principle here is the following. people grow when faced with adversity. whether they succeed for fail, they come out of the experience changed. they will have had new experiences which they can use to better overcome new challenges, they will have aquired new skills, they will have learned new things. the greater the adversity, the larger the potential gains, but also the larger the potential for long term damage which negates those gains. whether or not you fail is irrelevant to whether or not you will come out of an experience broken. pushing yourself harder than you can handle will come with a lot of pain to heal, even if you succeed. its just like fighting enemies in a game. the higher level enemies you fight, the better loot and more XP you get, but the less HP and MP you have.

noelle has faced very little adversity in her life, thus her imaginary PERSONAL GROWTH LEVEL is still very low. there are (prior to snowgrave) three main things which have caused her strife. the neglect and abuse of her mother, the loss of dess, and rudy's sickness. her mother's abuse was a formative experience for noelle, which taught her that to keep herself safe, she should simply obey what other people tell her. in the game of personal development, noelle lost the fight, gained a little experience, but got too scared to fight the boss again. what she learned from that as a child is that conflict is scary and that she should avoid it wherever she can. bad lesson to be taught so young. the loss of a family member is a lot even for adults to take, let alone neglected children. as happened with her mother, noelle came out of the experience beaten, and became too scared to try and overcome. so, she gained a little experience, and learned another lesson. rely on other people whenever you can. she was small and afraid and couldn't take care of herself while dealing with dess' loss, but even years after the fact she hasn't taken that step back out to face the world herself. she's still level one in the game of personal development. and rudy's sickness is also of note, in how it causes her to avoid progressing the main quest in the aforementioned game altogether. what noelle wants now is total escape into a world with no stakes, one where nothing can touch her. she wants escapism, because she doesnt knoe how to handle adversity, because she never grew emotionally past the level of a child.

so, what does noelle really need, if not murder? well, what she needs is a small, managable level of adversity, something preferably with some level of urgency, but that doesn't actually require more of noelle than she can give. the Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance METAL GEAR RAY fight of the game of personal development. what noelle needs is...

Queen!

that's right deltarune people! i have successfully reproduced The Thing Most Of You Probably Understood Because It Was Literally The Whole Point Of Chapter 2! that standing up to queen helped noelle develop! woo!

but, lets actually look at what's going on mechanically here. queen has indeed threatened the lives of noelle's friends if she resists. the consequences for failing to resist however is being queen's slave. its scary stuff! but as soon as noelle actually stands up to queen, and says "NO. I do not want to do this!" ... it all stops. Queen goes "Oh Okay Sorry LOL" and just leaves Noelle alone. this encounter demanded that noelle do something small, something scary, but not something she wasn't capable of doing. and it rewards her massively for doing it, by completely ending the conflict, probably making her feel like a badass, and teaching her a valuable lesson, which is that she is strong enough to stand up to adversity, and that by trying, she can succeed. this is exactly the kind of thing which would prime noelle to grow more as a person, to start working up over time to face The Big Three.

...that is, if it weren't for susie telling noelle it was all just a dream. that immediately does critical damage to the integrity of the lesson, because now noelle likely thinks (subconsciously, anyway) that the reason everything worked out so well is because it was a dream, a pure fantasy where she got to go on a Totally Romantic For Real ferris wheel ride with susie. if she tried that stunt for real, noelle is thinking, surely it wouldn't work. real life is hard, real life is scary. it may have only INCREASED noelle's desire for escapism!

that's not to say that it didn't help a little bit, im sure it has, but it still put a serious dent in her development, a dent that might hurt everyone later down the line. noelle not being told it was a dream would have substantially improved her relationship with kris, shown her she's more capable than she realizes, ended her ongoing weird thing with berdly, probably helped her see susie as more than just an object of affection, maybe even given her a sense of pride in being a hero. but, because of susie's need to keep people at arm's length, because she fears people getting too close, noelle has to forget. it really sucks.

all this to say, noelle better get some god damn character development in her or she might end up causing more catastrophes to happen through inaction. and also don't abuse troubled youth, it isn't actually very helpful.

[spaced-out-muses]

🍏  for xiaofeng and yutie!

𝐅𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 | late but Accepting!

🍏  :    how stable is my muse’s physical health? do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician? do they have any diagnosed illnesses and / or take any medication?how often do they get sick?

I would assume, that as a Cloud Knight, regular checkups would be a common occurrence? Obviously there’s “I got hurt during a battle/training and need medical attention,” but there’s also the whole aspect of becoming mara-struck. I would assume it’s extremely important to check on the well being of Xianzhou soldiers, and to make sure they’re doing what they can to avoid or negate the development of mara.

In Xiaofeng's case, I think he's in decent health. He has no scars due to his biology as a long-lifed species, though I think there's currently a good few fresh injuries from the most recent Incident on the Luofu. Those should heal in time, but man does the process suck. Probably visits the resident medic more often than not depending on who he trains with, definitely has broken bones before, but as a whole he's doing fine. Eats healthy, stays on top of his training, drinks water, all that good stuff. Probably does get sick as often as your average person, but its nothing that can't be kicked with enough rest.

I do think he needs to wear glasses when it comes to reading, and I think he gets ye olde spring allergies, but other than that there's not too much of note?

The general statements above also apply to Yutie. He's a Cloud Knight, and he's a Xianzhou native, so he most likely has regular checkups to make sure he's doing okay. Considering he's the Chief Guard for the Seat of Divine Foresight, I'm doubtful he'd get as many injuries as his Cloud Knights on the front lines. Maybe in the past, definitely, but as of right now? Unless someone actively breaks into the Seat (Apollo stay the fuck away) I don't think there's any reason he'd get any nasty injuries right now.

Like, we know Jing Yuan held off on approving his request to go to the front lines, both because Yutie was at risk for becoming mara-struck, and because the general "would be devastated if anything bad happened" to him. Now, I know in terms of the mara, that's partially because Sanctus Medicus was just running around inducing it in anyone they could get their hands on, but I do wonder if part of it had to do with Yutie being a somewhat older Xianzhou native. He's older, so he's at a higher risk. He still makes sure to keep in shape and keep his skills up, though, so there would be bruises or sprains from training that would fade.

I think it'd be funny if he's one of those people who gets sick Once and then he's fine throughout the rest of the year. Not even a sniffle after, no allergies, just a one and done.