#but I started a new world yesterday with the intention of just having fun and building shit and making it MY world and so far I've been

[ladykailitha]

All My Roads Lead Back to You Part 1

Hello, my beautiful readers! I should be working on “If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too?” and that was the intent yesterday I swear. But I wanted to sit down and flesh out the first part of my “Eddie and Steve reconnect after years apart because their kids are in a rock band together AU”. Only I went from 680 words to 6020 words over the course of the day.

So um...yeah. I’m still working on “Rescue” but since I have so much of this ready, you’re going to get this for the next couple of days.

Just a couple of things, you can find the original idea for this on my Master List, but I don’t recommend reading it before this, because it makes the story a little less fun. The other thing is that in case it wasn’t clear enough the first part are all newspaper headlines.

Enjoy!

***

Corroded Coffin Signs Three Record Deal with Relapse Records: American Tour to Start Soon

-July 15th, 1986

Business Moguls Clint and Rebecca Harrington Announce the Engagement of Their Only Son Steven to Socialite Addison Reed

-June 1st, 1987

Corroded Coffin to Launch First World Tour After Huge Success of Their First Album Underdark in December

-Sept. 23rd, 1987

Steven Harrington’s Nuptials to Addison Reed to Take Place in New York on Jan. 1st 1988

-Sept. 24th, 1987

Steven and Addison Harrington Announce the Upcoming Birth of Their First Child

-Feb. 23rd, 1988

Has Corroded Coffin Frontman Eddie Munson Found Love in London? Metal Star Eddie Munson Seen About Town with British Actor Jay Sanchez

-March 29th, 1988

Steven Harrington, Son of Business Mogul, Clint Harrington to Start Tech Company with Genius High Schooler, Dustin Henderson; Says Focus Will Be On Audio Devices

-May 9th, 1988

Tragedy Strikes in Austria! The Tour Bus Carrying the band Corroded Coffin Rolled Over Late Friday Night. Most of the Band Only Sustained Minor Injuries, but Bassist, Brian Martin was Thrown From the Bus and it Rolled on Top of Him, Killing Him Instantly

-Sept 11th, 1988

Funeral For Corroded Coffin Bassist, Brian Martin Was Held Yesterday in Their Hometown of Hawkins, IN. Frontman Eddie Munson Was Surrounded By Friends and Family

Picture: Eddie at grave site, clinging to boyfriend, Jay Sanchez. Wayne stands on his other side. The other two Corroded Coffin members stand behind them. The entire Party is there. Jonathan and Argyle, too. All but Steve.

-Sept 17th, 1988

Steven and Addison Harrington Announce the Birth of Their Daughter, Edith Barbara Harrington

-Sept 23rd, 1988

Eddie Munson and Partner Jay Sanchez Announce They Will Have a Child Together Through Surrogacy: Right Wing Groups Up in Arms!

- Nov 8th, 1988

S&D, the Tech Company Launched by Steven Harrington and Dustin Henderson Last Year Has Hit a Snag. Henderson Says the Technology is There, Investors Not Convinced

-March 19th, 1989

Steven Harrington and Wife Addison Battle It Out in Court, The Former Socialite Claims All Their Money Should Be Split Evenly, Including the Trust Fund Steve Received From Grandparents Upon Their Marriage; Judge Disagrees

-May 30th, 1989

Eddie Munson Back in the Studio. Producing This Time. Former Lead Singer and Frontman for Corroded Coffin is Back at It Producing What is Being Heralded as Metal’s Next Great Album...

-June 13th, 1989

Divorce Final! Steven Harrington and Addison Reed Split! Harrington Gets it All, Including Custody of Nine Month Old Daughter, Edith

-June 30th, 1989

Eddie Munson and Partner Jay Sanchez Announce Birth of their Son, Born Though Surrogacy; Mother and Son’s Name Has Been Withheld for Privacy Reasons

-July 14th, 1989

Tech Company S&D Reached Record Profits This Year; CEO Steve Harrington’s Ex Wife Back in Court for Bigger Cut of the Pie

-Sept. 7th, 1992

Eddie Munson, Beast of the Metal Scene Back in the Studio Again as Metal Bands Clamor to Have His Name on Their Record

-Jan. 19th, 1994

S&D CEO Comes Out as HOH (Hard of Hearing) and Bisexual in the Same Press Conference, Signing and Speaking His Speech

-Aug. 13th, 1995

Jay Sanchez, British Actor and Partner to Eddie Munson, Famed Metal Producer Has Passed Away Over the Weekend Due to Cancer. Family Asks the Public to Respect Their Wishes and Allow Them Their Privacy as They Grieve

-Oct 25th, 1999

Funeral For British Actor, Jay Sanchez Held in His Native Hampshire. Fans Flock to Mourn His Loss

-Oct 31st, 1999

Audio Tech Giant S&D Announced a Line of Headphones That Can Block Out Most Noises

Nov. 22nd, 2003

Grammy Award Winning Producer, Eddie Munson to Retire Amid Rumors of Troubled Son in Legal Woes

-March 27th, 2006

*

Steve was a man of few regrets in his life. He had a job he enjoyed, a daughter he loved more than life, and close friends he could count on. One of his biggest regrets, though? Losing track of Eddie after Corroded Coffin’s bassist Brian Martin died in a tour bus rollover in Europe on their first world tour.  

He knew that Robin and Dustin and probably some of the rest of the Party still kept in contact with Eddie, but after Steve was forced to miss Brian’s funeral...he wasn’t sure Eddie wanted him to contact him. So despite Dustin’s greatest efforts their lives remained separate.

“Hey, Dad!” Edith called from the kitchen.

Steve sighed into the bedroom mirror. He patted his hair down to hide the hearing aid. “Coming!”

He trotted out, grabbing his keys and wallet as he did so. His daughter was sitting at the counter happily munching on her cereal. Steve grinned when he saw her. She looked nothing like her mother, a fact Addison loathed. Edith had brown eyes and light brown hair with freckles, just like Steve.

“We finally have a new guitarist,” she said happily when she saw him. “But because we can’t have it at Lauren’s anymore...”

Steve sighed. “You want to use my garage as your studio?”

Edith grinned. “Pleaseee...”

Steve closed his eyes and opened them slowly to see her giving him the biggest pair of puppy dog eyes.

“All right,” he said. She started squealing and jumping for joy. “Only one day a week and if I have a migraine...”

She sighed, “We’ll keep it down.”

Steve ruffled her hair.

“Ugh...” she moaned. “It’s a good thing I don’t spend hours on my hair like you otherwise, I’d be really upset.”

Steve laughed. “Uncle Dusty keeps telling me it’s a miracle it hasn’t all fallen out yet.”

Edith smiled softly at him, before reaching up and gently tucking a lock of hair behind his left ear. “You’re the face of S&D, Dad. It’s not a crime to show off the goods.”

He ducked his head and blushed. “I know I wouldn’t be where I am without it but it chafes, you know.”

“You’re the father a seventeen year old girl,” Edith said with a wink, “I think you’re allowed to have a hearing aid.”

Steve sighed, too. “It just makes me feel older than I am.”

Edith shrugged. “You’re already old, so what’s a few more years difference?”

Steve raised his eyebrow and she squealed as he lunged for her. He kept up swimming and had taken up running. Edith on the other hand? She loathed sports. She claimed on more than one occasion that if anyone saw her running, they best start running too, because there was something chasing her.

A joke that didn’t go well with her dad or any of his friends for some reason she wasn’t privy to.

So she was an easy catch and he tickled her.

“No!” Edith huffed. “I’m too old for tickles!”

Steve stopped and cocked his head at her. “I still tickle Aunt Robin so...invalid argument.” And went back to tickling her.

Once she was gasping for breath, Steve let her up. “Now, Miss Thing, it’s time to get you to school.”

“Ugh...” she said, going to grab her backpack. “I hate school. Why can’t I just drop out?”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Because last time I checked, I didn’t raise a quitter. And you only have a couple months left of this year and all of next.”

“I hate being a September baby,” she huffed dramatically. “I’m older than most of my class.”

He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “You can blame your mom for that one.”

Edith smiled gratefully up at her dad. “It’s nice to have a scapegoat for all one’s ills in life.”

Steve laughed. “Thank god, for Addison Reed.”

*

Edith had to admit that there were certain parts of school that she enjoyed. She loved history and art. She didn’t know if she got that from her mom, as she had seen her mother all of three times in her memory. The first nine months of her life didn’t count.

Addison Reed had showed up when she was three when S&D had finally made it big and wanted more money from Dad. Again when she turned eight and Addison had taken her out for ice cream to try and charm Edith into giving up information on Dad so she could wheedle even more money out of him. The final time and the time that upset Dad the most was when Addison turned up when Edith was twelve to try and convince her to move in with her, so she could live off the child support.

That was when Dad got a restraining order against her, and moved them to Indiana from California. Edith missed the warm sunny days and the beaches, but she knew why Dad had done it. If moving back to Indiana was the only thing that would keep the leech away, Edith would have suggested it herself.

The other parts of school she liked were her friends. Mandy Lawrence and Kenny Grant. They had been a quartet, but Lauren decided she was too cool for them at the beginning of the year and stopped talking to them.

It was whatever.

She had art today which was a blessing because math was a killer and it always made her depressed. There was another reason she liked art class. Because that’s where she met this boy.

No, no not like that. Edith Barbara Harrington was a lesbian thank you very much. No, for all the kid’s fluffy brown hair, dimples and doe-eyes, she was interested in his ability to absolutely shred on guitar. His dad was some famous producer or some shit.

She walked up to him and fist bumped him. “H-man!”

“Miss Thing!” he greeted back. “Talked to my dad, but he said no go. He’s got too many valuable instruments he doesn’t want us touching.”

Edith grinned. “Well you’re in luck because my dad said yes.”

“Hell yeah!”

“So after school, k?” she said and he nodded. “I’ll text you the address.”

“Awesome!”

Their teacher called out for them to sit down and they did so with a grumble.

Edith couldn’t wait for after school.

***

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Epilogue

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[starphasedd]

Egon

Chapter 2 - Provide

(Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F!Reader)

Rating: 18+ for explicit smut.

Synopsis: Ghost asks you about your past.

Notes: I had every intention of making the beginning of this chapter a slow burn, but then it turned into smut. I have no regrets. I read somewhere that someone was disappointed they didn't see more of Ghost getting his dick sucked. I am here to please. 🥵😉 Ghost making fun of readers southern slang is HILARIOUS and you can't convince me otherwise. I hope you enjoy! Chapter 3?

Word count: 6.7k+

AO3

You were definitely caught off guard the next morning when Ghost had asked you about your experiences in the United States Marine Corp. 

—---

When you woke up hours later, your entire body was sore. Your legs and arms ached, your head was pounding and your entire face was congested. Odd–this was something you usually considered when you were out in the field. It was pouring down rain all day yesterday, and it was cold. You got soaked at one point. And the fire you lit did little to warm the old dilapidated shack you were staying in. So naturally, you caught a nasty cold overnight. 

As your eyes softly flutter open, you can't see much. It's just before dawn. Dark and foggy, making it almost pitch back. But you can feel the brisk morning air kiss your cheeks. You can hear the frogs croaking outside. Apart from the frogs singing, it's quiet. Peaceful, almost.

You stir gently, trying to stretch your aching bones when something comes to your attention. You're on your side, facing the door. When you lay your arms down, you feel something heavy and bulky slunked over your side. There's no sign of any blankets, but you're warm. You're enveloped in warmth, actually. You can feel something hot and gentle fanning the back of your beck. The bed shuffles and buckles a little in the middle when the weight behind you moves.

It was then, you put two and two together. Ghost is pressed against you, arms around your waist. His crotch is up tight against your ass. The front of his massive thighs are touching the back of yours as he holds you firmly in his grasp. Even in his sleep, he seems protective. You don't think he's awake, judging by the gentle and steady way his chest is rising and falling. His breathing is calm. This was a little unusual for him–you think. In these situations he usually stays up on guard. You almost never got to see him sleep. In fact, you don't think you've ever seen the man sleep, or even close his eyes. 

Something warm blossoms in your chest. A feeling you're unfamiliar with. It lights your cheeks up, and brings an involuntary smile to your lips. You're trying hard, really. But something about this mysterious, dangerous, man feeling comfortable enough with you to let his guard down and fall asleep makes your head buzz with excitement. Your face is properly red now as you lay there defenseless in his arms. There's another thought in the back of your head that causes a new reaction, but this time below your waist. You've seen this man hold down and kill some of the strongest warriors in the world. Yet here he is, holding you gently in his grasp. Clinging to you like he hasn't felt another body like yours his entire life–which could be entirely possible. 

You start to ache down there again, arousal starting to seep from your cunt and pool in your underwear. Your underwear. Wait, underwear? You suddenly remember; the last thing you did last night was collapse on the bed after he finished inside you. You don't remember cleaning up, or getting dressed. You don't even remember climbing into the bed. 

But there's a sweet smell on your skin. Even though the shack you're staying in is old and dilapidated, it doesn't smell bad. Which makes it much easier to smell yourself and him in these close quarters. The smell is familiar, something like lemon and flowers. You take a quiet breath in, trying to debunk it. And then you recognize it. The smell of your hygiene wipes. You glance over at your bag. It's open, with only the bags for your military grade hygiene wipes pulled out and sitting on the floor next to it. 

You stare at the bag for a few minutes, completely dumbfounded by the idea that just crossed your mind. Your mouth is open slightly, letting air gently flow in and out. Ghost cleaned you. He cleaned you. He took the time to meticulously wipe you down with your hygiene wipes to ensure you were comfortable. You know what dried seamen feels like. It's awful, it can make any woman feel dirty and uncomfortable. He understood that. The thought is embarrassing honestly. To picture this hulk of a military man spreading your legs to clean you. A woman of your caliber, being cleaned like a child. But it also sparks more adoration for him. 

You've seen them both from him now. 

Protector. 

And provider. 

There's something absolutely vile about the way your core instantly starts throbbing at the thought of him caring for you. Something so sweet, coming from a man people thought was so evil. A misunderstood, heartfelt man behind an intimidating mask. 

You shift a little, trying to rub your thighs together in a pathetic attempt to ease the throbbing between them. The bed buckles slightly and you hear his even breathing change. His chin grazes the top of your head and the arm around your waist stiffens slightly as he slowly starts to come out of his slumber. A loan groan rumbles deep in his chest as the arm around your waist starts to move. You look down–he has his sleeve rolled up, exposing the bottom half of his arm covered in tattoos. The large visible veins covering the limb make you absolutely fucking feral. 

His hand slowly starts to move from the mattress next to you, to your stomach. His large palm flattens and splays across you. He covers your entire belly. That same hand begins gliding up and over the ridge of your curves. He starts at your waist, then slides down to your hips and lands on the outside of your thigh. During his minstations, he doesn't make a sound. But you can feel something hard starting to press against your ass. 

His hand starts to glide back up, slowly mapping every curve along the way until it ventures back down to your tummy–like he's trying to burn them to memory. From there his palm flattens again, but it starts to slide up. When he reaches just under your breast, a soft moan slips through the mask before he pushes forward and envelopes your breast in his hand. His hips gently start to rut against you. 

The colossal hand squeezes down gently and lazily, kneading the squishy flesh there. Instantly, it makes both nipples rise to attention.  Your breath hitches when his soft ruts on your rear stop. He takes his massive thigh and moves it to gently nudge your leg. He pokes his knee between your thighs and lifts your leg with his, slotting his thigh perfectly against your clothed cunt. He's warm there too, you discover. That warmth accompanied by his thigh pushing up against your core sends shivers down your spine. 

He still hasn't said anything, but his breathing has picked up. What feels like an iron rod is pressed against your butt still–his thigh begins rubbing and putting pressure on your cunt. All while your breasts are being fondled by his big hands. He pulls you closer to his chest, lifting you slightly so he can get his other arm under your side and use that hand to assault your other breast. 

His hips grind on yours while the thigh pressed to your cunt drives deeper, making you clench around absolutely nothing. His pointer fingers and thumbs come together on both breasts to tease your nipples, rolling them between the leather of his tactical skeleton gloves. You begin to let sweet whimpers fall from your lips, which encourage Ghost to continue. His head comes down to the nape of your neck. He opens his mouth and softly bites down on the sensitive skin there through his mask. His breath comes out hot and heavy under your chin. 

You begin to roll your hips in time with his movements. You bring a hand up to steady and brace yourself on his side to start grinding down on him. He halts the movements of his thigh and lets you start to chase your own release. His hard cock throbbing painfully in his pants. His fingers continue to play with your nipples as you grind down on him. He groans, eyes half lidded and full of lust. He's watching closely. 

"Mhm. Use me, sweet girl." He finally says. 

"Simon–" you whimper. 

"Shh." He hushes you. "Focus."

Slow, steady and determined rolls of your hips on his leg start to make your lower tummy burn. Ghost watches you, mouth agape under his mask as your hips slowly and purposefully circle up and grind down on his appendage. Your legs attach at the ankle behind his legs, making it easier for you to stay steady in your movements. Your tiny fingers dig into his side as you clutch onto him. 

You're no stranger to this dance. Your hips know what to do. Whether you're on top, riding him–or in this exact situation, grinding down on his thigh. Your curves move achingly slow in presentation for him. He curses under his breath, hands squeezing down hard on your breasts now–like he's holding onto you desperately. Like he's holding himself back. 

The final straw is when you whimper his name in the sweet tone of yours again–a sweet, lustful cry of his name that makes his brain short circuit for a moment. His hands quickly release your breasts. They shoot down your curves to your waist and grip your hips tightly. He begins to help you grind on him, bringing his own hips and his aching cock to your rear and humping you in time with your own movements on his thigh. 

"Fucking hell." He grumbles, his voice deeper from sleep. His covered cock pokes the soft lumps of your ass. "Needy little girl. Aren't you, Sergeant?" 

You can only manage a broken whimper as he continues to pull your hips back and forth on his thigh. The muscles in your lower stomach start to stiffen–that familiar feeling starting to arise again. Your breathing picks up, and your moans become desperate as your orgasm rapidly approaches. He holds you so firm and strong, pulling you down on his thigh like it's the only thing in the universe he cares about in this moment. Your belly is pulling tight again, causing your throat to shudder closed. You start repeating something, but you're so far out of it you can't discern what is. 

Ghost can though. 

Simon. Simon. Simon. Simon–

It's not the movements or the grinding that finally sends you over the edge though. It's his strong hands anchored on your hips. It's his big firm body pressed tight against yours. It's his cock pressed to your rear. It's the desperation in his movements. It's the feeling of his hot, labored breaths on your neck. It's the moans that slip from his lips. It's the selflessness–how he's only getting you off in this moment. 

White hot please shoots up your spine as your orgasm rockets through you. Your entire body erupts in goosebumps, shivers making you shift and brace yourself. Your face presses into the warm fabric of the mattress, fingers leaving Ghost to dig in next to your torso. Your moans get swallowed by the dirty fabric there. Ghost's hands stay attached to your hips as your thrusts slow and eventually come to a stop. You lay there, catching your breath as Ghost does the same behind you. 

After a few moments, one of Ghost's hands comes up to flatten on your back, rubbing all the way up to your neck, and back down. He does this for a few minutes, soothing you from your high. On the last run, his hand comes up and locks around the back of your neck. Strong hands force your head to turn right and up so you're facing him. His fingers lace through the hair on the back of your head. He pulls you close, his neck cranes down so the fabric of his mask over his lips is ghosting yours. He breathes hot air against your face and his eyes lock on your exhausted expression. 

"Get dressed." He whispers to you. 

His cock is still hard, you can see it from here. 

"What about yo–" 

"That's an order, sergeant." He interrupts.

His voice sounds absolute. You don't speak, but his hand holds you there for a few more moments before he finally releases you. He unwraps himself from you and climbs over. Heavy feet land on the wooden floor when he sits on the edge of the bed. Leaning down, he starts to tighten the straps on boots. 

You lay there for another brief moment, watching him from behind. Tired hues scan from his waist, all the way up to his shoulders. His back is massive, tight muscles constricting under his black hoodie as he moves to stand. He walks to the pile of his gear on the floor. One by one, he starts getting set up again. First comes his layered rain jacket. He zips it all the way to the top. Then comes the harness that fits around his waist and thighs. The vest comes last, followed by the mountain of weapons he has. 

Your eyes quickly shoot to the side when you see him glance over at you. Embarrassed he caught you gawking, you began to crawl out of the bed. Tiny feet hit the floor and you stand, making your way over to your own pile of gear on the floor. You can feel him watching you as you adjust your underlayer of clothes. The tight undershirt he had just fondled all morning is getting pressed down against your curves, showing the lines of your sculpted belly and belly button–it gets tucked under the buckle of your jeans. You reach up, combing through your hair with your fingers and pulling it into a loose ponytail at the base of your neck. You follow the same order as him. Boots, jacket, harness, vest, weapons.  

His eyes are on you still, making you shiver. You feel incredibly bad. He was still achingly hard in his trousers when you finished and then he just…got up. Why would he do that? Sure, last night he came inside you. But, he still made you the priority. And he did the same thing this morning. It's not fair, you think to yourself. He was your commanding officer though. Not much you could do to fight him. 

As you finish tightening the last strap, you hear the microphone on your earpiece start to crackle. You stop what you're doing immediately, dropping your hands to the floor and snatching the headset. You place it over your head, bringing the microphone to your lips. 

"This is Egon, do you copy?" 

"Egon–this is Soap. How copy?" Comes a familiar voice. 

"Ten kilometers west. Moving out now." 

"Are you with the Ghost?" 

"Affirmative." You say, glancing over at Ghost who is standing tall, hands resting on the top of his vest. 

"Copy. Rendezvous at the meeting point. Stay safe out there, lass." 

"Copy." You return before pushing the mic away from your face. You turn fully to face Ghost, who is already on his way towards the door. 

He pulls the door open, holding it with his foot while he pulls the rifle off his back and points it outside. He bends his knees, easing out of the doorway and starting to sweep the area. You follow suit, doing the same. It's nice out today, the early morning sun shoots beams through clouds as you and Ghost make your way towards the city. 

It's quiet too. The sound of your boots hitting the cobblestone streets are all you can hear as you and the Lieutenant approach an abandoned SUV. It's old, probably the early nineties. Ghost is in front of you. He sweeps one hand up and motions for you to take one side of the vehicle while he takes the other. The windows are tinted, so you're going in blind. 

First you sweep the outside. Then you both approach the second row doors. Your hand lands on the handle with a gentle thud, Ghost following quickly behind. With your other hand, you pull the mic down to your lips. 

"On the count of three." You whisper to him. 

"Roger."

You begin counting, heart pumping with excitement. 

One. 

Two.

Three.

Your fingers curl tightly around the handle and yank it open. You immediately let go and bring those digits back down to the trigger on your rifle. Ghost does the same, sweeping his barrel from left to right, making sure the vehicle is empty. You have a good idea the car is empty, both you but do the same procedure for the front just in case. When you determine the car is in fact abandoned, Ghost jumps in the driver's seat and you take the passenger. His hulking figure takes up most of the room in the small foreign made SUV, but you can't complain when he works his magic and manages to hot wire it. 

The engine fires right up and he shifts it to gear, putting all four wheels into motion. 

The plan is to drive ten kilometers north, directly to the coordinates Price gave you. It's probably somewhere in the middle of nowhere, where he is able to call in one of the helicopters to land. He usually opts for dessert–that's your best guess. 

The drive so far is bumpy–the old SUV not being the smoothest of rides. You're looking out your passenger window when Ghost's voice catches you off guard. 

"What was it like in the United States Marine Corp?" He asks, not taking his eyes off the road. 

You're shocked, to say the least. This is the first time he's ever inquired about your past experiences. You glance over at him, eyes locking on the hard part of his mask.  Your cheeks are rosy from the brisk morning air–lips slightly chapped from the lack of hydration. 

"Uhm. It was…tough. I guess." You speak softly, watching his fingers curl around the steering wheel. 

"I've heard that branch of the American military is particularly hard on its soldiers." 

You look forward, thinking back on your experiences there. You were just an eighteen year old girl when you joined. It was a hard decision to make, but it was one you had to make for your own safety. 

You lower your head a bit, lost in thought. Ghost takes notice and glances over at you through his peripherals. 

"It was, yeah. Probably because I was so young when I joined. It's what I needed, though."

"What do you mean?" He asks. 

"I needed the discipline, and the real world experience–needed to learn how to defend myself." 

His hands glide over the steering wheel as he makes a turn. Silence fills the air for a few minutes as Ghost closes in on the rendezvous point. 

"Discipline–" he huffs humorously. "--you wouldn't know discipline if it bit you in the arse."

You chuckle softly. "What can I say? Guess that's the American in me." 

"Got that right. Bloody disrespectful people you are." 

You laugh out loud this time. "Disrespectful and stubborn are two different things, Ghost! I am not disrespectful!"

He doesn't respond, but you like to think he's smiling under that mask. You look over at him, a smile of your own plastered on rosey cheeks. You really want to ask him about his past, pick his brain. You want to know why he is the way he is. Why he's cold, calculating and fierce. Surely there's a story or two behind the mask, but you can't bring yourself to ask. For fear you may disrespect him. 

"Besides. I was told my disregard for authority was one of my best qualities when Price recruited me." 

"Is that right?" He asks. 

"Mhm." 

"Price is a cunt."

You laugh again, white teeth splitting your mouth open as you turn to hide the subtle blush turning your cheeks even more red. Your breath fogs the class as you glance out of the window. 

"I reckon he probably says the same thing about you." 

He scoffs. "Quit talking like your parents were cousins." 

"That was vile, sir." You say, pressing your hand to your cheek and continuing to laugh. "And uncalled for." 

Ghost snorts, one hand leaving the steering wheel to lay on the center console between you and him. The cab starts to shake when he drives off the beaten path and into some rough terrain. The ground is made solely of rock, large ones. Which sends you both ricocheting back and forth in the vehicle. What feels like an eternity later, you approach a wide opening where you see one of the standard military helicopters. Ghost pulls up a few feet away and slams the vehicle into park. Not even taking the time to shut the car off, he opens his door and jumps out. You follow. 

You walk next to Ghost's towering figure. When you approach the ramp and jump on, Soap is immediately out of his seat to see you in. 

The ramp starts to close and it's hard to hear anything over the helicopter's blades. Your hair whips violently until the ramp closes completely and you're both inside with the rest of the team, and then some. You notice a few men standing towards the front of the large copter. One of the men locks eyes with you and you can't help but stare back as he nods softly. 

Soap approaches Ghost first, slapping his hand on the much larger man's arm.

"Took your sweet ass time with that one, didn't ya boss?"

Ghost tilts his head to the side, eyes glancing over towards you. You lock eyes with him immediately, heart rating increasing as his stare bores into you. 

"We had some setbacks. I straightened them out."

Soap knocks his shoulder and grunts. "That's why we love the Ghost." 

Ghost's eyes don't leave you as you move back to take a seat on the metal bench attached to the haul wall. Soap approaches you soon after, spreading out and getting comfortable. 

"Who are the guys over there? I wasn't aware we would have guests." You whisper, laying your head back and turning to look at Soap. 

"Alejandro and his team. Good guys. They'll be helping us from here out." He whispers back. 

"You're sure we can trust him?" 

"Positive. We worked closely with him on a mission you weren't involved in a while back. He's good people." 

"Okay. If you trust him, I trust him." 

Soap shifts in his seat, leaning closer to you. You can see past him. Ghost is still standing, meaning against one of the haul walls with his massive arms tied over his chest. It's too dark over there to see his eyes, but you swear you can feel them watching you. 

"I tried to reach you last night. Why didn't you answer?" He whispered. 

"What? I never heard the comm turn on." You respond, eyes flashing back to Ghost for a moment before they land on Soap once more. 

"Multiple times, actually. You had me worried, lassy." 

"Sorry Johnny. I was just tired. And Ghost was having issues with his all night." 

"Won't happen again, yeah?" He says, giving you a serious look. 

You grin. "You can't order me around, Soap. We're the same rank." 

"Would you listen even if I was your superior?" He countered. 

"Fuck off." You say with a laugh, moving your hand up to flatten on his face and push him away playfully. Soap grins and moves back into his original position next to you. 

"Where are we headed?" You ask, fumbling with one of the pockets on your vest. 

"New mission tomorrow. Alejandro is taking us to his headquarters to detox and debrief. Then we're out at dawn." 

You sigh. "Another mission already?" 

He nods, his hands softly patting his thighs as he closes his eyes and rests his head against the wall. 

"As long as there's a shower. I didn't get to use the one at our safehouse last night." You say.

"Why?" 

"Because it was a shack attached to the house and it was freezing." Sarcasm evident in your tone. 

"Excuses, sergeant." 

You roll your eyes and sit back again. The rest of the flight is quiet. With the occasional soft banter in the background. Everyone seems pretty exhausted. Which is fair, this mission lasted almost seven days. You were happy to have the twelve hours being given to rest up. You stayed with Soap the entire flight there, but you were a little uneasy. The entire time, you felt Ghost's eyes watching you intently through the eye holes on his mask. 

You were relieved to jump off the helicopter when it finally landed. 

The "headquarters" in question looked to be nothing but an abandoned warehouse, in some kind of oil district. When you and the rest of the team walked inside, it was bare bones. But it did appear to have a running function. There were couches, chairs, tables spread out. There was a large projector screen on one of the empty walls. And there was even some workout equipment positioned in a corner of the facility. 

Alejandro walked everyone through a large bay door which led into what used to be the office part of the facility. He pointed out that there were five or six open bedrooms, and a couple open showers. All in their own enclosed rooms for added privacy.

You immediately jumped at the shower opportunity first. Quick to get out of your dirty clothes, you let the warm water run over your aching body. Your soaked hair sticks to your face, neck and back as you run soapy fingers through it. You lather yourself in soap, hands running down your body until they meet at your lower tummy. Your hand slips down and between your thighs to where you ach the most. You run your fingers through your folds, getting every nook and cranny clean. A soft sigh leaves your lips. 

A naughty voice in your head says you wish he hadn't cleaned you last night. You wish you could feel reminiscent of him here–feel his cum dripping down your leg. You still feel awful for not helping him get off this morning–not like you could do much. When he ordered you to get ready in that definite tone of his. You couldn't say no. 

You're so lost in your thoughts, you don't hear the door creak open. You stand there behind the curtain, letting the water soak you while you think back to last night. The feeling of his lips. The feeling of his hands. The feeling of his cock, buried deep inside you. You're so lost in that moment again, that you actually gasp out loud when the light suddenly shuts off. You whip your head around, squinting to try and find any source of light. Your wet hands grab ahold of the shower curtain to try and open it but you're startled when a large, naked hand clamps on top of yours. 

"Taking bloody forever in here, sweet girl." Comes that familiar deep baritone cutting through the darkness. "I'd like to get clean too." 

"Simon–" 

"You're wasting all the hot water, sergeant." 

You can't see him, it's still pitch black. But you can feel the cold air from outside rush in when he opens the curtain to step in. His large form pushes you deeper inside, boxing you in the corner under the stream of steamy water. You hear him close the curtain completely and he steps closer to you. 

"Come here." He orders, a large hand coming out to wrap around your arm. 

"S-simon. You…you don't have your mask on." 

"And it's pitch black in here. Any other obvious observations?" 

You swallow, stepping slightly closer to him. 

"You–You're okay with this?" You ask in a whisper. 

A soft chuckle leaves his lips. His hand tightens around your arm and yanks you forward, your body crashing into his. But he catches you, in those strong arms. Fuck, you never thought you'd feel his naked body but here you are–pressed against his broad chest. The hairs there are soft and comforting. 

"I trust you wouldn't do anything to break the confidence I have in you, sergeant." 

A large hand comes to your lower back and pulls you closer. His other hand comes up to your jaw and caresses it, that thumb moves under your chin and points up, getting your entire head to move with it. You feel his hot breath ghosting over your lips again as he leans down. Water is running down your back as his hand starts to slide up and down, feeling every inch of skin there you have to offer. Your hands find their way to his chest, and slide all the way up to the back of his head. Fingers lace through the silky hair at the base of his neck as he leans down to finally lock his lips on yours. 

You let a soft whimper fall into his mouth as he kisses you. His hand leaves your chin to trail down your sides and join his other on your back. Your tongues begin the same erotic dance they did just last night. You wonder if he knows how talented he is with his tongue. How he knows exactly how to please you with it–almost like it's second nature to him. His head twists to the right and yours twists to the left, opening wide to take his tongue again and again and again. Soon his movements start to become more erratic as arousal takes over. His hands move from your back, down to your ass. There he squeezes and kneads the soft flesh as he continues to kiss you. 

Your thighs are rubbing together now, your core heating up at his rash and desperate movements. You can feel his cock hardening against your stomach as your hands slide down from his head to land on his chest. He pulls you closer with his hands on your ass–so close you can feel his cock throbbing with excitement. 

One of his hands slides off your ass to come around front. Slowly sliding down, his fingers eagerly find your weeping cunt and sink through your folds. It's happening so quickly you can't compose any words, he steals the breath from your lungs. Calloused fingers rub down through your slit to collect your arousal and he coos when he feels how wet you are. 

"All this for me, little girl?" He whispers into your mouth. 

You moan for him, legs becoming weak when one of those wet fingers comes up to start rubbing strong circles over your clit. Slowly–achingly slowly–he continues to circle over that sensitive and abused bundle of nerves. 

"Simon–" 

Your hands hold steady on his chest as he continues to rub your clit. The steam from the hot water makes the air dense around you. 

You desperately want to please him. You know that this pleases him, letting him have his way with you. Listening to the moans he causes coming from your mouth. Feeling the wetness he creates between your thighs. But you want to pleasure him. You want to please him in your own way. You want to give him a break from all his hard work. 

"Simon, wait–" 

He doesn't listen, just continues his assault on your wet cunt. 

"Simon, stop–" 

You feel him hesitate for a moment, and his movements slow down. He huffs out a hard breath like he wasn't breathing the entire time he was playing with you. 

"What? What's wrong?" He asks, out of breath. 

He removes his hand from your cunt, and you can feel him slowly take a step back. You're worried he thinks he did something wrong, so your hands reach up to grab his neck. 

"Absolutely nothing–" you say as your fingers slowly start to dig into the thick muscles there. He groans. "I want to suck your cock. Will you let me?" 

His breath catches in his throat, your fingers continuing to massage the muscles on his neck. You bring one foot forward, starting to guide him back against the tile wall of the shower. He actually lets you, which is surprising. He grunts when his back makes contact, but you continue distracting him with rubbing his neck. You stand on the tips of your toes to try and kiss him again and his hands come to land on your waist. You come close, but then decide to let your lips hover over his. Your hot breath fans over his chapped lips as his hands search for you in the darkness. 

"I want your cunt." He mumbles against your lips. 

"You can have my pussy anytime you want, Simon. I've made that abundantly clear by now. You've been so attentive to me, let me do something for you."

You rub strong lines up and down his neck with your thumbs, digging into the taut muscle there. He moans this time, and you feel his cock jump when you mention he can have you anytime he wants. He slowly begins to give in, the hands on your waist letting go and dropping to his sides. He gets tired of you teasing him and smashes his lips to yours, giving you one more juicy kiss before pulling back to let you slide down his body. Your fingers release his neck and start to glide down his chest. Your knees bend and your hands follow, coming all the way down his chest, to his abdomen, his stomach, and then landing on his strong thighs on either side. 

His cock falls down heavy, large and attentive to you. Your knees make contact with the wet floor and you settle there between his legs. Your cunt throbs when your hands come together at the base of his cock, thumbs and pointer fingers trying to wrap around his girth. You can't, you discover. He's too thick for even both hands. You swallow down a moan when you feel him twitch. He's waiting patiently for your tongue. You sit down on your ankles, head bowing to meet the tip of his hanging cock. 

All the muscles in his body tense and he hisses when you open your mouth and your tongue slides under his shaft. Your wet cavern envelopes the tip of him, lips closing over his shaft and you pull back, sucking as hard as you can. His hips buck involuntarily, sending his cock a little farther in your mouth. You groan, eyes squeezing shut as you adjust to his size. His hand comes to rest on the back of your head, fingers lace through your wet hair. 

You dive back in, swallowing around his cock and starting to bob back and forth. Slowly, of course. You do your best to take as much of him as you can, but it's difficult. He's such a large man, it was no shock to you to find he was large down here too. His hand squeezes and pulls you forward on his cock as he lets a particularly loud moan leave his lips. 

"Fucking hell, woman. That mouth of yours—" 

He's caught off guard when you nibble down on him a little bit. One hand leaves his shaft to reach down and cup his balls. You squeeze them gently and you feel the top half of his body hunch over. His fingers dig into your scalp. 

"Fuuuuuck." He moans. "Fuck, I wish I could see you right now–that pretty little mouth of yours wrapped around my cock." 

You mmm low in your throat and continue working at him. Your fingers softly tease his balls, while your mouth brings him a pleasure he hasn't felt in a very long time. Your soft tongue laps up every drop of pre-cum from him and you swallow it all. His hand is pushing you further down. You can feel it shaking slightly. 

"Bloody hell. Can–can I fuck your face sweet girl?"

You nod against him, your other hand leaving him to trail down between your thighs. A sweet moan vibrates against his cock when your fingers find your clit. A thumb begins rubbing soft circles there while you trail your pointer finger down to slip inside. You pump yourself at the same rate as your mouth takes his cock. Back and forth, back and forth. In and out, in and out. 

He hisses when he realizes what's going on. He loses his patience and balls his hand into a fist at the back of your head. He growls when you moan out his name against his cock. He pulls you forward and then back. Pulling himself off the wall, he braces above you and slowly starts thrusting into your mouth. You open wide for him, tongue staying tucked underneath to give him that extra pleasure. His hips pick up, rutting into your mouth as he tries to go as far back as possible without hurting you. 

He can't get all his length in there, but he doesn't care. He continues fucking your mouth with as much of his cock as he can fit.

"Christ." He moans 

He pushes a little further, feeling the tip of his cock press against the back of your throat. Your eyes squeeze tighter, tears welling up in the corners as you try and take more of him. Only, you find that you can't–you can't help it when you gag around him, his swollen tip hitting the reflex there at the back of your wet cavern. But you keep trying, like the soldier you are. You keep fighting for the resolve.

The sound of you gagging seems to spur ghost on because he starts fucking you faster. His movements start to become erratic as he approaches his orgasm. His breathing is heavy and labored. The hand tangled in your wet hair tightens even more and holds you steady. You continue rubbing tight circles over your clit, little fingers pumping inside. Now that you've had him inside you, your own fingers do little to nothing to please you. But you soldier on, your own high approaching much quicker than you expected. 

He knows what you're doing–he's holding himself back. He's waiting to hear your release before he lets himself go. 

You moan against his cock when hot pleasure snaps through your lower body. Your legs shake, and you almost fall forward but Ghost's strong hand holds you up against his cock while he continues to fuck into you. 

"Good girl. Good fucking girl." 

He groans, punctuating each word with a particularly hard thrust into your mouth. His cock is starting to pulse, and his movements come to a screeching halt. His breathing is heavier now and he bends down, abdomen buckling as he shoots streams of his white hot cum down your throat. You take it all, throat opening to accommodate him. 

He takes a few moments to gain his composure, standing up tall in front of you. His cock slips from your mouth and drops against his thigh. The air is filled with nothing but your combined heavy breathing and both try and ease down from your orgasms. You stay seated on the ground, and Ghost takes a few steps back. His back touches the wall and his legs give out, letting him slide down and take a seat on the floor across from you. 

"Christ woman. Where have you been my entire life?" He asks, still slightly out of breath. 

You feel a gentle smile across your lips. "I could ask the same of you, sir." 

He chuckles, and you start to scoot forward. You blindly find your way between his legs. Little hands find his chest and you lean up to press a tender kiss to his lips. He lets one hand fall to your lower back to hold you against him. You continue kissing him for a few minutes, enjoying the aftershocks of your high. You sit there between his legs, feeling his warmth. When he removes his lips from yours, you let your head drop to lay in the nape of his strong neck. His head falls back against the tile. 

"Water is getting cold." You mumble against his skin.

"And?" He snorts. 

"Well, I'm already clean. You're the one who's gonna suffer." You say, letting the grin on your face make an indent in his skin. 

He groans, turning his head to the side to let his lips touch your temple. 

"Insufferable woman."

[daydream-cement]

Hello 👋 it's my first time requestiong so hopefully i do this shit right and not rant about Gwendoline Christie,

If you aren't too busy (ive been stalking your page and i know you're doing your final or maybe i was late) could you do a male reader like just a student being platonically in love with principal weems, like just flirts and either larissa just scolds them or laughs, r just got dared to do that by yoko or something, sorry if it isn't too specific i wanna let your creativity go thru (cuz it sure was on Stately Sequoia)

Breakin' My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes)

Characters: Larissa Weems x m!reader

Authors Note: If I need to fix the tag or reader description someone pls let me know. I am new to writing fanfic on tumblr and i wanna make sure i make everyone feel included in my writing. also this was so much fun to write thank u @kichuusomalive

"Everyone watch out! Smoke show coming through." You shout from your perch on a railing as Principal Weems starts up a light of stairs nearby. You had been sitting around chatting with your friends about the eminent Poe Cup. She glances up at you with a roll of her eyes as usual.

You had started your time as a bit of a troublemaker at Nevermore, spending many days in Headmistress Weems office. Slowly you built a relationship with one another based on mutual understanding, allowing you to manifest a relationship where you were allowed to tease Principal Weems. You really did love her, but not anything more as a trusted confidant.

"Watch it, Mr. L/n." She shot back, causing you to offer her a bright smile of innocence.

"Of course, Larissa." You offer with a fake look of seriousness with a stern nod.

"I'll give you three seconds. Go to class." You knew your luck had run out for the moment. You tugged your friends sleeve as you jogged off to homeroom.

------

You had been working on homework during your lunch period when your friend elbowed you, signaling that Weems had entered the cafeteria.

You toss up a hand waving at her, "Good afternoon, Principal Weems!"

She couldn't hide her smile as she saw you waving, offering a small wave in return. Larissa was there to have a discussion with the lunch supervisor, but she took a detour to visit your table.

"How are you doing this afternoon, y/n?" She offered with a polite smile, always trying to keep it professional with you. Truly you were her favorite student at Nevermore. While you had a pension for troublemaking, she always enjoyed your sense of humor. Plus whenever you complimented her, she never had the feeling that you were actually making fun of her.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are, Principal?" You ask, narrowing your eyebrows and leaning your chin into your palm, trying to look very intentional about your question.

"Yes. You. Yesterday." Larissa retorted, with a deep breath, obviously hiding a smile.

"Sorry, Principal Weems. I just like to remind you." You nod vigorously, causing Larissa to shake her head with (fake) annoyance. Your tablemates couldn't hide their smiles at your words.

"Glad to see your sense of humor hasn't changed, Mr. L/n." Larissa turned around to return to her initial task.

You call back after her, "No humor here, Principal Weems. Just a love for the finer things in this world."

------

"I heard you are performing at the talent show this semester, Mr. L/n." Larissa stated as you sat in the armchair in front of her desk. You had simply come in to chat and catch up, enjoying Principal Weems quick wit. You had pulled the armchair up close so you could fiddle with the jar on her desk that contained a shrunken head. Weems was too focused on her computer to scold you.

"I am. Actually, I'm dedicating my song to you." She glanced up from her computer with a deep breath and a shake of her head.

"I can't wait to see." Larissa smiled, knowing that this would be extremely funny, but also potentially embarrassing if you made a scene.

"No worries. I'll keep it classy for my favorite girl." You nod with a big smile across your face, earning you a one way ticket out of Principal Weems office.

-------

You looked out across the audience as you finished your performance, looking for Principal Weems. Once you spotted her, she had one hand covering her eyes and she was shaking her head. Even from on the stage you could see the fraction of a smile that graced her lips, shoulders shaking as she was laughing.

You had prefaced your performance with saying that you were performing this song for the love of your life. Then you and your closest friends performed Breakin' My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes) by Mint Condition.

Principal Weems met you backstage afterwards, her hands clasped in front of her. Her face was quite serious, "First off, Mr. L/n, my eyes are blue. Secondly, while I find your antics to be quite amusing, you simply cannot keep joking about being in love with me."

"Why, Larissa, who ever said I was joking?" You stood directly in front of her, allowing her to tower over you. At this point she couldn't hide her smile, she wished she hadn't found you to be such a charming kid.

"Watch it."

[polyphonical]

Dragon's Head - True Intentions and Stances - Chapter 3

[ View on site for better experience♪ ]

Location: Meeting Room

Kuro: I more or less get why ya called us out now, but… Can we really do somethin’ like wipin’ out the whole problem?

Hm? What’s wrong, Lil’ miss?

Huh, so you came up with a plan. That musta been a disaster for you too, Lil’ miss. Sorry that ya had to get caught up in this mess.

Eichi: Yes. You truly saved us here, Anzu-chan. I only asked you to think of one yesterday, so I wasn’t expecting you to have an entire proposal written out already.

Tetora: The proposal is calledーー “The Starpro Rhylink Friendship Strategy” ……? It’s a pretty fun sounding title, considering the circumstances ssu.

Tomoya: It says “I didn’t put much thought into the title” underneath it.

Eichi: Well, I don’t exactly care for the name of the plan as long as the contents are good. So? What does the plan say?

Tetora: Hmhm. So, you’re aimin’ for the world record by participatin’ in an endurance challenge using giant dominoes……?

Eichi: I see. So, you want to show teamwork by helping each other out while holding up dominoes.

Dominoes huh…. This is probably our best suggestion.

Tetora: Eh? Why’s that ssu?

Eichi: This isn’t a regular scheduled event, so we want to try to avoid a big budget. Also, things such as days and effort need to be limited as well.

From that point of view, I think the dominoes are our best angle at clearing things up while keeping the project affordable.

Tetora: If it’s about showin’ that Starpro and Rhylink are on good terms with each other, will everyone here be in charge of this stuff ssu?

Eichi: Well, possibly yes. I haven’t made any final decisions about the members yet, though.

Tetora: Uumyu. If we are, I’m not great at this kinda thing y’know?

It’s a problem for me if I can’t move much or haveta limit myself.

Kuro: I’m the same way. I’m no good at stuff like that.

Tetora: Eh? Really Taishou? I thought you’d be better at stuff like settin’ up dominoes though, since you sew and are pretty crafty and stuff.

Kuro: I don’t mind workin’ with my hands. It’s more of an issue of my body not bein’ suited to work with a limited amount of space.

I’d be afraid to even breathe while tryna avoid knockin’ over dominoes.

Eichi: I see. I don’t really have time to care about your preferences, though.

It’s important to have mishaps happen as well. If nothing like that happens, I’d just write a scenario into the script.

Tetora: Uu~… I know there’s no helpin’ it, but I don’t like that sorta thing. It doesn’t feel like it’s authentic ssu.

Eichi: If you don't think these things are a part of being an idol, you’ll never get used it. I don’t think you can call me evil for thinking this way, either. We’re just performing a script at the end of the day.

Tetora: That’s one way of puttin’ it~

Tomoya: Performing a script……

Hm~……

Eichi: Hm? What are you thinking, Mashiro-kun?

Tomoya: Ah. Ummm…… I don’t want to rain on your parade or anything since you seem settled on this idea though……

Eichi: Don’t worry about that. If you feel like you want to comment on something, I’d like you to say it.

Tomoya: Then……

Maybe it’s just because I’m a normal person, but I generally tend to believe things I see. That’s only if I don’t have any bias already, though.

Um. Basically. If I believed that Starpro and Rhylink didn’t get along with each other from the start, and then I suddenly got shown stuff about them being friendly with each other…

Wouldn’t that look super scripted? I don’t know the right way to say this, but…

Ah. Yeah, Anzu-san, that’s what I’m trying to say! Preconceived notions are getting in the way.

Eichi: So, what you’re saying is, it’s hard for people to believe the new depiction if they already believed something different to begin with.

Kuro: That’s true. I think there’s a good chance that some people would believe it, but there’d be a good portion of people who don’t. That might cause issues later.

Tetora: It’s like how us in Ryuuseitai were beaten by Crazy:B in the Idol Royale~

Most people tend to believe bad news more…… What was it called, that feeling?

Eichi: That is also a preconceived notion. Most people believe that bad news should stay hidden.

That’s why whenever you’re quick to say, “that’s wrong”, it makes you look more suspicious in the end.

Kuro: Like a conflict bond......

(I’ve been feelin’ like I knew a situation like this for a while now…) 

……

―― Aah, that’s right. I remember now.

It’s not the exact same, but it’s kinda similar……

Tetora: What’re you thinkin’, Taishou?

Kuro: ……

So… Well, delinquents usually belong to some group or are in charge of some kinda territory.

Obviously, this leads to conflicts. And the solution to those is usually…

Eichi: A fight?

Kuro: …… Yeah. But there’s this weird thing that happens. When ya get into a fist fight, ya start to recognize each other’s strength. It usually results in some kinda sense of respect for one another.

Sometimes, a weird bond gets developed after the fight’s over.

I just thought the situation was kinda similar to that. ‘s all.

Eichi: Hm……

Yes? You just thought of another idea, Anzu-chan? What a coincidence. So did I.

Kiryuu-kun’s story gave me a strange idea. If preconceived notions would get in the way, then we’ll just change it so that they don’t.

Tomoya: Eh? You can do something like that?

Eichi: Yes, it’s quite easy. So, we’ll go along with the idea that Starpro and Rhylink are on bad terms.

Tomoya: Ehhh!? Isn’t that against the whole point we were trying to make?

Eichi: Fufu. Earlier, you mentioned that people are susceptible to preconceived notions. But I believe they are even more susceptible to something else.

Tomoya: Huh?

Eichi: That is, drama, of course.

Tomoya: D-Drama…?

Tetora: Hmm? Anego, you’re changin’ the proposal ssu?

The title went from “The Starpro Rhylink Friendship Strategy” to “The Starpro Rhylink Reconciliation Strategy” ……?

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[lightineventide]

Book Review: "All Systems Red" by Martha Wells

You know how it goes - you're wandering through a bookstore with no real intention to buy anything, and then you see a relatively small, curiously looking tome in the sci-fi section. Surprisingly, it is cheaper than most new books (in this case, the translated version is from the end of last year), even though the only available edition is hardcover. The premise looks interesting enough, so you, having been kinda disappointed from your last few reads, think "Why not?" - and proceed to have the best reading experience in a long time...

Can't relate? Yeah, I also didn't think I would, until yesterday.

My blog isn't a book review one, so that's the first and probably the only such post that I'll make. But I am so excited that I don't want to miss the chance to try to hook others up to try this book! It's just that good!

The series /The Murderbot Diaries/ is about a cyborg-like (part robot, part human) construct designed as a Security Unit (SecUnit). The SecUnit manages to override its governor module, thus enabling it to develop independence, which it primarily uses to watch media. As it spends more time with a series of caring people (both humans and fellow artificial intelligences), it starts developing friendships and emotional connections, which it finds inconvenient. - premise on our beloved Wikipedia. I think it sums up well a lot of what initially made me curious about the book.

To put it simply, the last few books I've read were more or less disappointing, so I didn't have much expectations for this one, too. However, Murderbot became easily one my favourite book characters of all time after just a few pages! Why? I related a lot to its hesitation to open up to humans 😄 and frustration with the corporate world, while also absolutely loving his dry humor. I strongly recommend this book to all readers, not just sci-fi lovers - it is a lighter read than most from the genre, while still being able to really hook you in and keep you on the edge till the end. The plot moves quickly, while always feeling fleshed-out just the right amount, in my opinion. It's very action-packed, which contributes to the not very taxing but fun experience. I also found the ending to be really satisfying, since it doesn't leave you feeling required to read the next books in the series - it can be a one-off read (bonus: the last twist was unexpected to me and I love how it ties with the book's themes - I think it makes the story unique, but I'll add that under a "Spoilers" cut, just in case). And that's something I've come to really appreciate in newer books. 💙

1000/10 //Maybe the biggest sci-fi nerds won't find this book so endearing, but for everyone else, you most probably won't do wrong by picking it up! It's really entertaining!

Ok, now notes with spoilers:

I feel like Murderbot's decision in the end to leave the crew was the perfect one for its character. As someone who related to it mainly because his unwillingness to open up to people, I was a little disappointed when all signs up until that moment pointed to the usual cheesy happy ending. I think the real one wrapped up this part of the explored themes especially well, unlike in a lot of popular media today. It makes Murderbot's struggles feel real, as such things for sure don't just *magically* disappear. So, many bonus points for that!

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2023-11-27

Snow

Listening: Someone on IRC linked me to 3Blue1Brown's Hallelujah Parody about the vicissitudes of apparent patterns in sequences.

Reading: You Want My Password or a Dead Patient:, a paper about information security and the lack thereof in medical contexts. Paper linked here, but I first heard about it in this Choast.

A very good deep dive into the extremes of classic reasons why information security is bypassed: it's just much more important that you have access to resources Right Now in a hospital context than it is that they are secure against hacker, most of the time.

Hospitals process a lot of private information, so they are often beholden to the security standards imposed by regulations agencies. If you've engaged with mandatory security regulations you'll know a lot of them are, uh, bad?

(Famously if you want to meet US FIPS Government Standards you cannot use the Good Elliptic Curve ed25519 and instead you have to use a different, less well secured curve.)

Anyway what this means is that you have a significant conflict between the very high stakes and fast paced world of hospital medicine, and a system that wants you to log back in every time you step away from the x-ray machine.

Watching: Nothing.

Playing: As you may know if you're following me, I started Dark Souls this week. I am having a great time in Dark Souls! It's a lot of fun. I am still where I was yesterday, having just beaten the Belltower Gargoyles.

There are definitely notes that I have. It is for sure a 12 year old game. Some of the opacity is definitely intentional difficulty, like requiring you to just feel out the parry timing, but I it probably wouldn't make the game any easier if it had reliable indicators of when you're in position to backstab or riposte someone and it would make parrying much more fun. I like parrying but so often you parry someone and then just hit them normally instead of going for the cool finisher riposte.

Making: Like ten minutes ago I reopened Cinnabar and Calcite and did a little hardware swap, moving a new network card into Calcite and Calcite's old network card into Cinnabar. Everyone is settled back in. Wifi card upgrades are not really essential but it is nice to have wifi on a desktop even if you don't use it because a) someday you will and b) it's free bluetooth.

Also: Wrote some very bad bash to use my motherboard RGB as a tally light for recording these Dark Souls clips, since I've lost a few clips to hitting the wrong record button a few times.

Tools and Equipment: Original Tuesdayposter @girlfriendsofthegalaxy had a video on marinara sauce this last Tuesday and I was inspired to try some tomato pasta bakes. I usually make Mornay sauce based pasta bakes because it's what my parents usually made, but you gotta try a really spicy tomato pasta bake.

I got some habaneros and jalapenos from the farmers market and made a big pot of spicy tomato tuna bake and especially with the weather being How It Is that was great, I'm making a mushroom one sometime soon it kicked ass. That recipe was loosely based on this one, although I put in a bunch of extra vegetables.

[juniperhillpatient]

How’s it going @juniperhillpatient ?

So I watched the two most recent scream movies for the first time this weak. Starting on Friday night and finishing on Saturday morning. They were entertaining, see I’ve only ever watched the original first one years ago but the connections between the films were interesting.

To get to the question, I recall that one of your Azutara AU ideas is a Scream fic ( along with the IT Au). In it I think one of your post in the past stated that Azula would be (slightly) based on Sam? If so, would that then make Ozai Billy Loomis? If so, I’ve got to say depicting Ozai as a deranged murder would be oddly appropriate. What with the emotional and physical abuse of both his spouse and his kids, along with the attempted genocide and all.

Oh! I also greatly enjoyed todays (well yesterdays) chapter in Happenstance. I’ve got to say though, I’m with Azula, Katara not turning in Hama is a very… injudicious decision. What happens when Hama decides to no longer go after corrupt officials like she did in chapter (one of whom has a family!) and she decides to go after innocent people (as she did in canon). What if Hama decides to escalate from just hostage taking? What if lives of innocents, of children even are lost her quest? That’s starts of with noble intentions, but become corrupted. Becoming in reality just hate of Fire Nations under the façade of environmentalism? Are Katara/Yue/Jet prepared for that possibility?

Or would Jet, Katara, and Yue not care cause those innocent people are Fire Nation? Naw just using rhetoric for Katara and Yue. They obviously would care. But Jet? Him I’m not 100% sure about.

It would have been better to get rid of threat (Hama) earlier on by turning her over. Than again, some police can be corrupt (though I use the world loosely) so maybe they were also right not to turn her over?

It’s a bit of a head scratcher, ain’t it. Which is awesome by the way. It’s fun reading these little moral quandaries and philosophical question in a sitcom fic. Questions like, is it okay to harm others we deem immoral to bring about ends that we believe to be an objective good? Can intrinsic good come from an extrinsic evil? Essentially, does the ends justify the means? And how far is too far? Happenstance is great in that and In all ways! Especially horror, romance (it’s Azutara so that’s a given 😉) and comedy.

Thank you for indulging my ramblings. I hope everything is well on your end. I recall a post from earlier speaking about your cat preventing you from cashing a check at your bank. Your bank decided to come to you right? To give a house call as it were? It’s the polite thing to do after all.

745 voice of the people

Hello! It could be going better. I am suffering because I’ve been sick on & off for like a fucking month & it’s starting to feel like God hates me 🥲 However, it could also be going worse. My mommy gave me money for groceries even though I told her not to because she is the best & she knows how much work I’ve missed due to illness so I have lots of good food & also hot chocolate with marshmallows 💜🙏

Anyway I am sure you didn’t expect that TMI when you asked how it’s going but I’m a dramatic rambly bitch 😌 I hope you are doing good yourself 💜

I am so happy you watched the new Scream movies 🍿 Most iconic series of all time honestly. Yes, Ozai would be a version of Billy Loomis in this AU! However, keep in mind this is all just ideas & not a real project in the works just yet 😉

Anyway I don’t have too too much to add to your analysis on the moral dilemma from last week’s Happenstance because I want to purposefully leave it open. I like posing these quandaries without creating a firm resolution just like there wouldn’t necessarily be in real life sometimes! Of course - Hama may just show up again. We will see!

I will say - Katara & Yue would definitely feel guilty if someone innocent got hurt because of their choice not to turn Hama in. Also, even though Jet hates the Fire Nation, he is dating Zuko & friends with several Fire Nation characters by now including pretty much best friends with Azula. So…. Could he really justify it if innocent Fire Nation civilians got hurt at this stage of the story? Tricky. Unlike Katara & Yue I don’t think he’d have much trouble justifying it if someone like Ichiro or Daisuke got hurt. While the girls would feel guilt over anyone being harmed, I think Jet would have a more pragmatic attitude if the people getting hurt were doing a lot of harm. The only reason he stood up to Hama in the end was that she hinted at plans to “subdue” Katara & Yue if they didn’t go along with her ideas. So, he was probably the least opposed to kidnap of the three. But I don’t think any of them would be okay with it if Hama hurt innocent people down the line - which is not out of the realm of possibility if it served a cause she cared about.

Anyway- I said I wouldn’t add & then I did! I love rambling about my story too much 😁

I seriously love your analysis & thoughts on this head scratcher! Thank you SO much for sharing 💜💜💜

[sophieinwonderland]

So uh, we did our first solo dnd session yesterday. Basically I (as a single headmate) played three characters while also DM'ing using a resource for help (the solo adventurer's toolbox).

I played for like fifty minutes but I swear even though this is taking place in a homebrew world I think I might be creating these characters as tulpas. I swear we had a head pressure by the end. And like, it's extremely normal for us to introject any characters we roleplay/write but usually as soulbonds or other types of introjects? So this was a little unexpected because it DOES feel more like we're creating them as tulpas in a way that we haven't felt before in group dnd - though it's possible that's been happening there too and we just didn't have the framework to understand it at the time, especially given that dnd often makes our head feel weird.

So like, that's kinda fun!

Also another weird fact about our system: we can sense the desires and such of potential headmates BEFORE they form. So when creating characters they help guide the process, and we've had that sense tell us both 'I would like to form' and 'I would like to be prevented from forming/not encouraged to form because I don't exist and do not wish to"'. So that's another layer of weirdness.

That's cool! 😁

(I mean, assuming you're okay with forming new headmates this way, which it sounds like you are.)

though it's possible that's been happening there too and we just didn't have the framework to understand it at the time, especially given that dnd often makes our head feel weird.

This would be an interesting things to pay attention to in the future. Like if maybe this has been kind of happening in the background the whole time, and you just didn't notice or realize it before.

And the last part about sending their feelings sounds kind of like tulpish a bit. Not saying they are tulpas, but just thought it's worth noting how many intentional but undeveloped tulpas will communicate through feelings before reaching vocality.

I wonder how many headmates in general start off communicating in feelings first, and people just tend to not realize it because they aren't aware of the headmates until they first speak or front or physically appear in the inner world.

Thank you for sharing! (And sorry for taking a few days to get to this.) Have a lovely day!

[standupcomedyhistorian]

Hi, everyone! Welcome to my new account! 🎤

While researching Bo and Phoebe’s friendship for my ongoing timeline, I had also compiled a list of interesting facts the two artists have in common.

Here’s the 10 best facts I could find about the pair. Enjoy!

Here are three fun ones from the list:

1. Phoebe’s mother did stand-up comedy! 🤯

Per Phoebe's New Yorker profile, her mom Jamie started doing shows after divorcing from Phoebe's dad Tony.

I'm sure Bo could help her out—he began doing stand-up when he was just a teenager!

2. Both have worn skeleton suits while performing 💀

3. They adore small dogs!

Phoebe's beloved pug Max passed away in 2019, and Bo's Bruce is living with Lorene after their breakup.

Don't be too surprised if Phoebo adopt a new puppy of their own soon!

Keep it here for more fun! ✌🏼

[oftenderweapons]

Hiiii

I'm taking my time writing some new stuff!

I'm just checking in to say hello and update you about my life just a little bit

Yesterday and today I took some time to myself, I went to a DIY fair and bought some supplies. I knit myself a very fun balaclava, and made some pretty jewellery.

I also baked a pumpkin pie, and it turned out amazing (ofc, it's my granny's recipe's merit, she's extraordinary and has all the best recipes).

I'm thinking about buying myself a pc game! It would be a first for me, since I usually download apps and play on my ipad or my phone, so if you all have advice on gaming on computers, please feel welcome to share ☺️✨ the game is called Chants of Sennaar, and since I'm a linguist I found myself pretty intrigued by the concept of it.

Today I did my Sunday home reset and now as it's bedtime and I'm about to start a new week, I came here to set my intentions 💖

This week I want to do 3 things for this blog:

1 - post Three Sugars update

2 - post a standalone fic from my finished drafts

3 - write ch 5 of Natural Connection

Any encouragement is much appreciated! My blog was shadowbanned so I don't receive that many notes, which feel really gratifying and keep me motivated. It feels a bit lonely at times, ngl. It makes me really bitter because I see very explicit bots running free and spamming NSFW pictures on the home, and then there's little old me — together with other fellow writers and creators ofc — watching their blog wither because for our blogs were found inappropriate.

Anyways, I want you to know that I'm truly grateful that you decided to stick with me for so long! I hope my works will keep giving you the comfort and love and acceptance you wish to see in the world.

I love you, don't ever doubt that 💜✨

Yours truly, Dita.

[obviousknife]

When you get this, answer one of the questions (or all if you really want!) then pass it on to 5 writer friends! 🥰 If you have more than one WIP, pick at random! We want you to talk about your works, and celebrate with you! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 1. What are you most excited to write with this WIP? 2. How has this WIP changed since the “daydream/brainstorm” stage? 3. Who is your favorite character in this WIP and why?

Question Time! Hooray! I’ll answer this for my new WIP. I couldn’t sleep last night because I’m so hyped.

1. What are you most excited to write with this WIP?

The main character, Aleksander, is already a villain when you meet him. When I first started writing (*redacted* years ago), I was doing a lot of RP, and my second favorite character to write with, the first being Will from my other WIP, was a villain named Nik. I had a lot of fun exploring dark themes and honing my villainous monologue skills. Sander is a character who has been in the works for a long time, and I’m really excited to write his story. It has a lot of interesting twists that will really set it apart from a lot of fairy tale inspired stories, namely the romance.

2. How has this WIP changed from the daydream/brainstorm stage?

I had an idea for a villain-centered romance years ago. I knew who the two main characters would be, and that’s it. Yesterday, I was avoiding my other two WIPs and decided to look up obscure fairy tales. For some reason when I get blocked, I write screwed up versions of fairy tales and things just happen. WWLF came to me after I wrote a version of Frozen where The Ice Queen went crazy and killed everyone. That’s where I discovered my love of horror….

Anyways, I found this weird story called “Hans My Hedgehog” about a husband and wife who pray for a child and are sent a half human/half hedgehog that they name…Hans, My Hedgehog. They are terrified of him and lock him away for 6 years until he breaks out and kills them. The whole story is kinda wild but ends nicely I guess. When I was reading it something just hit me. Sander was originally going to be some sort of animal hybrid as well but ultimately I decided on demons because I had some cool ideas for his design. I wrote an outline of the entire plot in ten minutes, and now I’m on the Hype Train™️ to drafting.

3. Who is your favorite character in this WIP and why?

1000% Queen Sadira. I’ve never written an ancient being before and the idea for her literally came to me as I was writing the WIP Intro. I will be taking some inspiration from one of my absolute favorite fantasy characters ever (Eda, from The Owl House) but the intention is to create this deity of sorts who watches the events of the story play out (events that she started), and is completely helpless to change them. She truly believes that her son can break his curse despite never speaking with him or seeing his actions be anything but despicable. She’s a dying goddess with her entire world on the brink of death, and she still found a way to hope, because Sander can’t fail. He just can’t.

[hotarutranslations]

Today Was Also Fun

Evening

Yesterday it was like, its the first day! Wa-i! but,

There are still, still, still, Lots of people in the world who haven't seen the live yet, I absolutely want you to see it soon

.🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Although, There are a lot of you, who wanted to see it fast and could not! It seems like its always like that for first days! Although its a big box at the end, for a big box on the first day too, I ended up thinking, I wonder if that's possible..🫣 I'm really thankful for a lot of things,

With the words, it was fun--!!!

Those that came, Those that are just reading my blog, I'll write from now on, with the intention of conveying it, okkk✍🏻

Photo from yesterday

It was decorated with congrats yesterday🎊

They're gives from Miyo-chan and!

BEYOOOOONDS's Hirai Miyo-chan, Came and saw us on the first day💜

📻Hello! Radio "Miyo-chan's Engawa"

Ishida is visiting as a guet, on the September 17th stream! Look forward to the stream!

Miyo-chan, I'm glad you came💜 We really did our best💜

I knew that Miyo-chan was coming so, I was conscious of each dance scene, Also, I danced to songs with simple choreography with great care,since Miyo-chan is watching..! I was conscious of it lol

Thank you for letting me concentrate~~

Soon we'll be at the Hello Pro Dance Gakuen Public Recording💜

I woke up early today and yesterday, Even though I was thinking it was a lie, My muscles don't hurt anywhere, Its a good thing but I'm surprised ⚠️lol

Today was a Kobetsu cheki, talk and sign meet!

Thank you very much!

I received a lot of kindness--!

We'll be holding the same events tomorrow, For those that are participating, lets have fun🐣

Since it seems like it may? Rain tomorrow? Lets spend our time to take care tomorrow~~

I saw news of the Rakuten Eagles match being cancelled, I found out its raining heavily in Tohoku.. I hope we'll be able to hold our events safely tomorrow..

Thank you very much for the ceremonial pitch, at Rakuten Mobile Park Miyagi⚾️

Play▶️List

Debut song 48th Pyoko Pyoko Ultra~

I danced a lot on my own..

🕺

Graduation Announcement Blog🐣🪽

Hello! Station #531 I also talk about my graduation in this video

📺The MusiQuest 2024 They're airing a live digest from that day!

̗̀📣 Over-Air Broadcast September 14th (Sat) 4:00~4:30AM~ ̗̀📣 CS Broadcast September 28th (Sat) 12:00~5:00PM

📺Sendai Broadcast "Ara Ara Kashiko"

I appear once a month as part of the AraKashi Family

The previous shows, and makings, are on OX VIDEO STORE!

📺Hello Pro Dance Every other Thursday at 11:30PM~

Season 12 will start airing, On October 17th (Thurs)🕺

Thank you for following.. Instagram💙🩵

💿 August 14th new single✨ "Nandaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta/saiKIYOU"

🪩"Morning Musume '24 Concert Tour Autumn WE CAN DANCE!"

Its Ishida Ayumi's last tour💙 I'm looking forward to seeing you

🪩"ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 2024 in HITACHINAKA" September 22nd GRASS STAGE 10:30AM~

→Tickets are on general sale

📚SCawaii!

Releasing September 17th

Ishida and Oda will be published in it We had a shoot~

📻Morning Musume '24 Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Airs Every Saturday, On Radio Nihon at 12:00AM~

Past Broadcast Episodes Are Available →Program Details

I visited as a guest🪽 "Sayashi Riho and The Time From Now On" presented by Meiji Bulgarian Yogurt

📻I visited as a guest🤍 Harami-chan no Harami Fan Radio♪

Web The Television

Everyone, Thank you very much as always for your support!

see you ayumin <3 https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12867702210.html

[andromedasstardustsworld]

Brain dump: I forgot to eat all day yesterday, and this morning, I was feeling the repercussions of my actions. I was all shaky this morning before going to work. I walked to work with good intentions, and they told me I come in at six, so now I'm back home eating some beans for sustenance and journaling because I haven't for the past two days. Also, I went to sleep extremely late because I hung out with corrine, Brooklyn, and kinadee. We all watched Beetlejuice, and I could feel the joy seeping out of my pores. I love that movie so much. It's such a core memory for me growing up. Brooklyn and I also previously went to the skate park, and I did not fall again!! It was amazing, and I skated on an actual skateboard and not the long board. I believe I'm getting a hang of it. I started fully unmasking around kinadee now, I realized that yesterday we've been able to have deeper than usual conversations. I think a big part for me was that i was always holding back because i might be considered weird. But now i dont care what anyone thinks of me anymore. I rambled on about consciousness and how when I get high, I can feel connected to other people's. We also talked about past lives, and she told she once went past a building and got a vision and weird feeling from it. I believe it could be from her past life. She also mentioned she might've been a man in her past life, and i can see why she would think that she has a lot of madculine energy. I told her she should do a past life regression and told her about my experience and how it's like visualizing and feeling yourself go back in time. When I did my past life regression meditation, I felt myself in my mother's womb and continued going back in time. I told her how I think my most previous past life was that I was an aborted baby. But before that, I think I took a long period of time from reincarnating because the life before that was gruesome and melancholy. I was a wife and mother in the 1800s, and my child had died from pneumonia. My husband killed himself, and I died in a fire. It was very graphic. But for this life, my soul was ready for a new experience. I think I wanted to have fun and let free in this life.

We stayed up till six talking and she showed me this youtube series Local 58, it was really eery and I throughly enjoyed it. When watching these videos I was trying to put my mind into the perspective of the video. Then I got home and I could not fall asleep, I kept hearing whispers, I'm blaming lack of food. I also kept picturing myself in my brain in a big dark empty room just black, and opening a door called sleep and it was like my body started to lucid dream. It was very surreal and cool. I'm also glad I'm Journaling this much again!! It makes me happy to read back on my thoughts. Kinadee said I'm the most consistent journaler she knows and that took my ego to space. But having a big ego will be good for me, I'm just now starting to empower it. I've repressed it for so long and I much rather have self obsession than self hatred. I'm seeing a very positive shift in life, it's gonna be a good day, good era!!

I'm on my break right now, and this shift has been so hard to get through with a good mood. Everyone is crannky, customers are dumb, and my energy is flickering and dimming. We are so understaffed, and one of the coworkers I'm working with, Mollie always makes up excuses not to do anything, and she makes me want to set the world on fire. I'm still determined to keep a good mood. I'll hang out with kinadee and friends after. It's still a good day despite a few downfalls, but that's life. I showed everyone my minecraft pin, and it says, "Never waste diamonds on a hoe." So that lightened everyone's mood a little, so I'm glad I could make them chuckle even for a second. 

[elijahhendley]

8月4號 Day 24: Independent excursion

Today I woke up and decided to go on a little shopping spree. As I was walking to my first stop I walked by a massage place and was cat called. That was very interesting. The lady I was buying something from only spoke Chinese, but I ended up finding what I wanted and tried to bargain with her a little. She started the price at 590, then lowered it to 500 without me asking her which was nice. I then asked her if she could sell it for 450 and she happily agreed. This might sound good but I previously saw something similar she was selling for 390. So I feel like I could have gotten a better deal, but it was still relatively cheap. After that I walked over to the bus stop to get on the bus in order to go back to the mall. Yesterday, I saw something that I thought would be a good gift so today I went back to get it. It was NTD 1580, and the lady was really nice who I bought it from. She mainly spoke Chinese to me and helped me try to get a tax refund for the gift, but it was not expensive enough. It had to be above NTD 2000, so I did not get a tax refund unfortunately. Then I took the bus back home. I left the hotel around 10:30am and did not get back to the hotel until 2:30pm. I then tried to go get lunch around 3pm but I realized that this is the time the bridge turns every day. Since I was not able to cross the bridge, I went to the brunch place right outside of the hotel which was really good. After letting my food digest a bit I looked for a gym to go to and I found one about 1 mile away. So, I decided to run there then workout and run back. At the gym I saw some machines that I have never seen before and it was exactly what I was looking for. It really revealed to me how much I need to work on my functional flexibility. It also made me interested in the Taiwanese gym culture and their view on gym health versus America. After my workout and running back to the hotel I took a shower and me and the boys played some more cards. So fun! Then, later that night, Yeh Laoshi texted us that the Taiwan vs China badminton gold medal match was being played so we did a little watch party and got to celebrate Taiwan winning gold!RAHHHHHHH🥇

Independent excursion

For my independent excursion, I decided to focus on the physical fitness aspect of health. With the recent gold medal win in badminton for the 2024 olympics, I want to see the fitness culture and how fitness is promoted in Taiwan. With this comes my own personal analysis of Taiwan’s fitness industry, specifically, my personal experience in Kaohsiung, and also how Taiwan promotes fitness through city design.

Across the world, there is this fitness movement that seemingly came from nowhere. Social media has been the main factor with the booming growth of fitness influencers. Why is this? Wenjia Li describes in her research article aspects of Parasocial relationships(PSR). She defines it “as the intimate and one-way relationship between an audience and a media persona,”(Wenjia Li). This is what happened recently and it has had an influence on Taiwan’s fitness culture. 

First I will start with the big shift that happened in the world recently – Covid-19. Many people were shut indoors because of the pandemic and as a result turned to social media. Many fitness instructors started to move their in-person platform to online and this is when the big shift started. With many fitness coaches moving online PSR only grew and thus influencing more people to want to go to the gym. This is because there is a direct correlation between PSR and exercise intention(Wenjia Li). So with an increasing online presence, the fitness industry was bound to grow and spread like wildfire.

In Taiwan, there was an over 80% increase in the amount of gyms from the year 2019 to 2023. Just in these 4 years the amount of new gyms almost doubled and a part of that is due to the reason I stated above. I saw the clusters of gyms around Kaohsiung and did not have to go far to find a gym. No matter where you are in the city, there will always be a gym within a 1 mile radius. I actually think that the supply of gyms has greatly overpassed the demand for it. The gym that I went to was almost empty and this might be because there are so many gyms around. 

Another aspect of fitness I want to discuss is cardio. When people think of a gym, nowadays they relate it to strength training but cardio is a very important section of fitness. For me, I ran 1 mile to the gym and what I noticed is that the city is not very runnable. Access to the sidewalks are normally filled with mopeds, scooters, cars, or maybe there is not even a sidewalk. The city is walkable but not really runnable. Engineers for the cities should take into account fitness when designing streets and roads.

Despite the city being slightly difficult to run, and could have better planning for spacious sidewalks, one thing that is unique I noticed we do not have in America is outdoor fitness equipment. At every park there is outside fitness equipment that the general public can use in order to get active and stay healthy. Although many people do tend to use the equipment improperly and can pose safety risks, I think the benefits would outweigh the risk for the general population.

In conclusion, Taiwan, with a lot of other countries, had a huge shift into the fitness aspect of health and how important it is due to the conditions the Covid-19 pandemic placed everyone in. It became more popular online so much that even popular Taiwanese artists such as Jay Chou spread the trend to be fit and healthy throughout Taiwan. As a result the amount of gyms greatly increased in Taiwan in the past 5 years to over 900 gyms(fitness industry boom).

https://english.ftvnews.com.tw/news/2023524W02EA (Fitness industry boom)

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9858650/ (Wenjia Li)

Until next time, 再見！

[uncomfortablymisspoken]

Feeling uncomfortable.

I don’t know how many people will have an interest in reading my little blog on this space on the internet.

But my intention is literally to write about things to make you feel uncomfortable.

I recently found out I most likely have ADHD.

Along with a million other diagnoses.

But that one just really hit the nail on the head for me.

I found this out just yesterday on my visit to the neurologist and telling her about the not being able to focus much and spacing out. And she told me, “That sounds like ADHD.”

I need to get tested first, but I’m doing research, the difference between women with ADHD, which I found interesting was that we don’t get hyper. Only males get the hyperactivity. Females tend to get depressed, mood swings, anxiety, etc.

So, who knows how long I’ve had it, and how long all of this could have been able to be handled from the start.

I’m actually pretty bitter about it. (Females... We get all the fun stuff. AmIRight?)

My entire life I’ve been distracted. I never wanted to listen to anyone and I wanted to live inside my own little world.

I did horribly in school because I just couldn’t focus, and my family was always frustrated with me because they always thought I was never listening on purpose.

They thought I just purposely wanted to piss them off out of spite, or pretended I was stupid to get out of things.

I have pretty bad depression. And recently I’ve been experiencing some pretty intolerable panic attacks to the point where I feel like I’m dying.

My stress at one point was so bad my brain just decided to click off go into body spasms.

Having seizures changed my life forever.

I don’t remember my seizures personally because each time I would have one it was like a black out. And then I would wake up on the ground and someone would be shaking me, telling me an ambulance was on its way. My mom explained to me how it looked. and from how she explained it, it sounded a lot like I turned into Regan from the exorcist. My arm and jaw distorts, and I make strange noises and everything.

Some people are unfortunate enough to get ten or more seizures a day. And the extremely unlucky ones can have as many as every minute, or every ten seconds.

When I was told I had epilepsy (because I had more than one episode) Doctors pretty much put the fear of God into me about how I was going to hurt people if I tried to get behind a wheel, or even thought about gaining some independence at the age I was supposed to be experiencing things.

Instead, my depression just got worse and worse as I isolated myself for my “protection”.

Your twenties are the time to have fun and sex and drink and have friends.

I just got more emotionally sick by the day, and wondered if I would even make it to my 30’s.

I kept telling myself “If this doesn’t happen by 30 I’m killing myself.”

I made a lot of promises to end my life back then because I just felt like there was no reason to live. I felt like I just took up space and that was it- I am 30 now. And 2 of those promises still haven’t happened yet.

At this point it’s better to have the mindset of “There are much worse things in life than not achieving this. This is a dumb reason to want to completely end your life over.” Especially when there are so many out there who don’t get the choice whether they get to live another day or not.

At one point I accidentally became bulimic.

My anxiety was at a full time high and any time I tried to eat something I would puke so hard my throat stung and bled a little.

I was down to 102lbs. And my height is barely 5’1. (It was extremely uncomfortable when people would compliment me on my new size. And asking me “How I did it!”)

Living off of Gatorade isn’t that much fun- and my heart goes out to all those who suffer with body dysmorphia.

You do NOT have to go to such extreme lengths like starving yourself or making yourself ill in order to feel like you belong in todays beauty standards.

Being that sick was PAINFUL.

At that point I was just kind of in a fog.

Taking whatever meds my doctors gave me.

“Take this for your depression” “Take this gif your seizures” “Take this for your anxiety” “Take this because I say so.”

And I just took whatever was given to me. I didn’t really care because again; I wanted to die and I planned to eat them all at once like a bowl of cereal. I just needed to decide when to do it. Most days I just decided to sleep it off instead. If I wasn’t here, it was just better.

At this time I’d like to remind anyone if you're feeling suicidal please think about your actions and if what you are upset about REALLY IS worth killing yourself over.

I don’t like when people say “Suicide is selfish.” Because it’s not.

If anything, you calling them selfish for contemplating suicidal thoughts or actions will drive them right to it.

Just like every other time, chances are the individual will think “You are right. I’ll leave. You won’t have to deal with me anymore.”

And that is what drives that individual to act.

You are the one who is selfish who is taking your anger out on a mentally ill person who clearly needs help. And instead, you continue to put them down.

Talking about suicide is never something someone jokes about.

If your friend says “it’s my dark humor”, you need to check on them and not let it go.

Being inside the mind of a suicide survivor, (twice) believe me I know this.

Are you uncomfortable yet?

Being mentally unstable and having trouble trying to get help is EXTREMELY common these days.

But so many people still just won’t get help in fear of weakness or what their doctor might have to say to them.

I hope you aren’t too uncomfortable.

And I promise it won’t always be this dark.

I figured it would be good to show you the dark side first before getting into the dark humor; which the audience in my head thinks is hilarious, btw.

I’m off to watch some horror- and in the meantime, I’ll be thinking of other things to include here as well because I like interaction when I write.

Thank you for reading 🌹

[mycelium-bf]

im stoned and having a lot of thoughts <3