#but I’m still a fucking idiot and I swear to god I’ll never have hope regarding anyone ever again lmfao

[photorose11]

When the first thing you do before you’re even fully awake is reach for your phone to send the same message you’ve sent for god knows how long now but then you remember ‘oh yeah, I can’t’ lmfao

[kirishima-eijirock]

@katsuslover asked: Making katsuki jealous by talking w deku or something and he's all sulky and a baby and u show him why he's better

a/n: omg hell yessss I made it a little angsty but I hope he’s not too OOC

You narrow your eyes at the blonde sitting right in front of you. His eyes narrowed and his lips pulled into a deep frown that you’ve never seen before. Clenched fists that are slightly shaking, he glares down at the floor with such an intensity that almost frightens you. Almost.

He’s been that way for the past half an hour, with no warnings at all. It’s weird, how this morning he wasn’t giving two fucks about anyone or anything at all, and now he’s just… furious isn’t even the word to describe it. Neither is rage. This is something else, and you knew it.

“Kats, just spit it out already.”

You’ve been trying to coax an explanation out of him for the past twenty-seven minutes, and yes, you’ve been counting. He’s never hid his anger from you. Or anyone, actually. But definitely not you.

“Kats, I swear to god, if you don’t start saying anything then I’ll go back to my conversation with Midoriya—”

“Get that bastard’s name out of your mouth.”

It was a quick mumble. A short demand. A command, if you will. He’s never said shit about Midoriya with such pure hatred that it did confuse you, and you started to question if you really understood Katsuki in the first place. 

His brow furrowed and his teeth gritted, his glare shifts from the floor to your shoulder, avoiding your direct gaze. He couldn’t bring himself to glare at you, no. The last thing that he wanted to do was to direct his anger at you. You were one of the most precious people in his life, and he wasn’t gonna risk anything, much less even glaring, to fuck it up. But looking down and glaring at the floor looked utterly pathetic, too. So his eyes dart from the wall behind you, to your shoulder and neck, but never your face. You didn’t deserve that. It wasn’t your fault, either.

He knew it’s not your fault, so why did it sting so much to hear you laughing with that bastard? He didn’t get it.

“Never mind. ‘M fine. It’s nothing.”

“Kats, you can’t be mad like that and not explain yourself.”

It’s true. He knew that he owed you an explanation, and a good one. Shame crept up on him as he realised that he snapped at you. That you were on the receiving end of his anger. The promise he made to himself— to never, ever make you upset, or to ever let you feel like the reason that he’s mad— was now broken in his eyes.

“I’m… sorry. For snapping at you. It’s not your fault,” he mumbled under his breath. 

It wasn’t snapping, but he hated the fact that he still could have upset you. 

“Kats, it’s okay. I’m fine, I promise. What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything that’s on your mind, right?”

“No, it’s nothing,” he mumbled, though it’s clear that his snapping only made him more irritated with himself.

“It’s not nothing if you’re…” you trail off, not wanting to point out the current tears in his eyes. 

“Huh? I’m what?” Still oblivious to the tears, he looked around and found nothing.

“Kats, seriously. Tell me, now.”

The firm gaze directed at him from your eyes made him freeze, and the gentle tone in your voice made him hesitate. He was surprised, to say the least, that you were still here, trying to help him while he stood there in front of you like an idiot. If you left now, he wouldn’t have been surprised. In fact, he understood why you would do that, and he couldn’t blame you. This emotional, vulnerable part of him finally showed for the first time in your relationship. 

It surprised you, just a little. You knew he hated showing emotions besides happiness and the occasional happiness, but never tears. He never cried solely in front of you, at least.

He felt weak, so… pathetic. 

And on the other hand, you were there, trying to help him and coax some coherent words out of him, before finally giving up with a sigh

“Kats, if you don’t wanna talk, then we can save that for another time. I won’t push you any further if you’re getting uncomfortable.”

He’s never felt comfort like this. Not warmth, or such gentleness either. It’s so new to him, but in the best ways that he couldn’t describe. 

What was this feeling? His heart was bittersweet now. His loathing towards Midoriya was worsening, but the sweetness in your voice was making it fade away slowly.

“I promise I’m fine,” he rasped out. 

“Okay, Kats. As long as you’re alright,” you murmured, not really pushing him to speak unless he really wanted to.

He took a deep breath, not sure how to address the issue.

“Look, I don’t know what to feel when you’re talking to that damn Deku,” he stated plainly.

“You don’t know what to feel? What are you talking about?”

“I’m not stopping you from having friends, okay? I just don’t like how giggly and shit you were with him,” he huffed.

“Well… why not?”

“It just bugs me, that’s all. Just feel like I should be the reason you’re laughing. Not him.” 

Oh. It finally clicked in your mind. He was jealous. You wanted to point it out, but it could sour his mood further, so you decided against it for the time being.

“Well, if that was the case, you could have just told me. I wouldn’t have a problem with that.”

You were too sweet, too understanding. It was hard for him to believe that he deserved it. That he deserved you. 

“Really?”

“Yes, really, Kats. You don’t need to worry that I’ll be upset, okay?” 

He nodded slowly, still not used to this amount of sincerity and care from someone.

He was never this soft, or vulnerable to anyone. You, however, were an exception. He wasn’t afraid to show it to you, and even though he wasn’t used to it, he sure as hell wasn’t complaining. 

“Thanks…” a soft mumble of thanks left his lips, happy how this confrontation went.

@angelshimaa angst for you :)))

[juceynightmare]

dating 101 (18+) part 24 - cody rhodes x reader

my masterlist

dating 101 (18+) masterlist

pairing(s): cody rhodes x fem!reader, roman reigns x fem!reader

warning(s): swearing, slapping, marijuana usage, possessive!cody, unwanted advances

genre(s): college!au, slow burn, fluff, angst

|| previous part || next part ||

when cody walked back into his room and shut the door behind him, he didn’t expect ted to already be sitting at his desk facing the door with his hands in his lap. cody stared at him for a moment and silently cursed the world because he had actually wanted to be alone and listen to painfully sad music. “when did you get back?” cody asked instead of jumping head first into his mattress and screaming into his pillow out of frustration.

“at the perfect time. i saw you and y/n go back to her room all giggly and happy.” ted hummed, a knowing smirk on his face as cody sat down in his chair. “and when i walked by, i expected the door to be open, only to find it to be closed, and i know y/n usually has her door open, even if one of us were in there with her alone.” he continued, watching the way a blush had rose to cody’s cheeks.

cody didn’t have a bone in him that wanted to deny what ted saw. he already had enough on his plate already, especially knowing that y/n was currently in her room talking to roman about god knows what. “i like her.” cody admitted, pulling out his ipad and instantly opening up the spotify app so he could throw together a sad playlist for himself to listen to until y/n eventually gave him an answer. “i told her that i wanted to date her.”

“and…” ted dragged on the word, clearly expecting there to be a good outcome to the situation. he had front row tickets to watching his two best friends start falling for each other and had been waiting for one of them to finally admit to him that they had a thing for each other.

“and nothing.” cody sighed, already reaching for his backpack so he could pull out his airpods. “she’s in there talking to roman right now. if i’m honest, i don’t have much hope.” he admitted, visibly slumping in his seat as he put an airpod in one of his ears and began to put together a new playlist.

ted stared at cody in disbelief, watching the way his cocky, overly-confident, “i don’t have to try to get pussy because the pussy just falls right into my lap” roommate had retracted into a shell of uncertainty and insecurity. it was unsettling to say the least.

what was more unsettling was how far cody was in his insecurities that he truly believed that y/n wouldn’t choose him in the end. ted reached over and smacked cody upside the head, causing cody to look at ted with anger in his gaze.

before cody could retaliate and chew out ted, ted pointed his finger at cody and said, “you’re a fucking idiot if you think she’s going to choose roman over you.”

cody calmed himself down, turning his head to look back towards his screen as he sighed in defeat. “what makes you even say that?” he questioned, tapping away at his screen as he filled the playlist with endless songs to get cody in his feels. “man, i fucking start the day with her. every single day ever since we met. i tie her hair up so it’s not in the way while she does her skincare. and then i end the day with her. we’ve been fucking for the past week or so. i’ll tuck her in bed after cleaning her up, kiss her goodnight and leave even though i want nothing more than to just sleep with her by my side. but guess what, ted. roman’s still on her fucking mind.”

ted stared at cody with wide eyes. he certainly knew cody was leaving in the middle of the night to go fuck some girl, he had woken up to use the restroom in the middle of the night only to find cody’s bed empty. he just never would have guessed that the person cody was sleeping with was y/n.

“you took her virginity?” ted asked, remembering when y/n had admitted that she was a virgin. he watched the way cody nodded his head and open one of his drawers.

cody pulled out a pack of pre-rolled joints and his lighter. he took one of the joints out and placed it between his pursed lips, holding the box out to ted to offer him one. ted shook his head at the offer, watching as cody set the pack down on his desk and reach for his ashtray.

“were you her first kiss too?” ted asked as cody held the joint between two fingers and lit the end while rolling it. the question seemed to have put cody in a sour mood, and a scowl appeared on his face.

“roman was.” he muttered bitterly, bringing the joint to his lips after it was lit and drawing the smoke into his mouth. cody pulled the joint away from his lips as he held the smoke in his mouth for a few seconds before inhaling it into his lungs, exhaling as he slumped back into his chair.

ted nodded his head, turning away from cody as the man continued to puff, puff, puff, as if his life depended on it. ted didn’t even know that y/n had a bone in her body that was capable of “whoring” around, although it seemed he was proven wrong considering cody’s words.

“just trust that she’ll choose you in the end. it’s weird seeing you so insecure about yourself, man.” ted mumbled, not knowing how else he could reassure his roommate.

cody held the joint over the ashtray as he exhaled the smoke in his lungs. he tapped the joint against the edge, watching the way the ash fell on to the tray. he thought over ted’s words for a second before changing the topic, “roman texted me some weird shit. y/n texted him that she wanted to talk to him because… she told me she wanted to figure things out since she didn’t know what she want and i guess her first step is to talk to roman. but roman sent me some weird ass fucking text to me.”

ted looked over at cody as cody pulled up his messages app on his ipad. he tilted the ipad towards ted so that he could read over the message.

“last night was basement night at theta xi. i blacked out so i don’t remember a single thing, but something happened between roman and i clearly. there’s no reason for him to be so hostile. i don’t even know what i could have told her that’d piss him off.” cody groaned, already raising the joint back up to his lips once more.

ted sighed, shaking his head and turning the ipad back towards cody. “i don’t know, codes. clearly something bad if he’s threatening to kill you for talking to her. maybe ask randy if you said anything? i don’t think you should ask jimmy or jey, they’re loyal to roman.” he suggested.

cody nodded his head, remembering that y/n had told him that randy was the one to bring him back to the dorms. “yeah, good idea. i’ll text randy, he was the one that brought me back here. maybe i said some shit.” he hummed, already pulling up his text chat with randy so that he could send him a message.

across the hall in the other room was a very tense, panicked roman and a confused, fiery y/n. y/n had taken a seat in her chair, leaning back with her arms crossed over her chest while roman stood in front of her.

“you haven’t said a word in the past 3 minutes. having trouble thinking up another lie?” y/n scoffed, finally cutting the radio silence that had filled the room.

roman didn’t know where to go now. he was already in a frantic state of mind, having just visited his baby momma that lived two floors down to try and convince her, yet again, to get an abortion. and now here he was in y/n’s room thinking of all the ways he could manage to salvage their… whatever they were… in order to secure his 500 dollars from jey.

he had jumped to conclusions when y/n texted, only thinking that the only reason why she’d want to talk is because cody had remembered what happened the night prior and snitched. he hadn’t even thought of any other reason that she’d want to talk to him.

“what did you want to talk about?” roman asked instead, hoping she wouldn’t press any further.

“everything i heard from a little birdie, who isn’t cody, by the way. so keep his name out of your mouth.” y/n growled. and although she presented herself as demanding, on the inside she was internally freaking out.

there was no way roman was going to directly answer her questions about what he just said, and so, she took a page out of austin’s book and decided to put her drama club skills to use. improv was always her strong suit, according to austin.

she watched roman seem to tense up at the mention of cody, and confusion washed over his features when y/n said it wasn’t cody who had told her what she knew. of course, she didn’t know jack shit but roman believed otherwise.

“i’m an open book, roman. you know me, i’m not one to judge. it’d be better if you were just honest with me so i can hear straight from the person who’s in the center of all the drama instead of hearing multiple different variations.” she continued, watching the way roman seemed to be visibly fighting a war in his mind.

“how much do you know?” roman eventually asked.

hook, line, and sinker. y/n could practically hear austin’s voice humming in the back of her head.

“everything else besides whatever this is about another girl somehow being involved in the entire stint.” y/n replied, fully aware that the only piece of information she really had was the fact that roman had walked in here claiming cody’s a liar that there’s a girl that’s supposedly jealous of her and roman.

roman sighed, bringing his hands and rubbing his palms over his face. he had no idea how he’d get out of this one. it didn’t help that the stupidly expensive bouquet he had gotten her was still proudly being displayed on her desk. roman could feel a twinge of guilt tug at his heart.

he lowered his hands and responded, “an ex of mine.” he figured that was a neutral enough answer that wouldn’t land him in a deeper hole. he watched as y/n nodded her head and seemed to think of another question to ask him.

“alright if she’s just an ex of yours, then why does what she thinks about us matter?” she questioned. when roman could only stare at y/n with wide eyes, she knew that he didn’t have an answer that’d satisfy the both of them.

she sighed, bringing her hand up to pinch her nose. “you know what? i’m just not going to push it. i wanted to talk to you about ending things between us because i realized that i’m just really shit when it comes to dating and i need to take a step back from people.”

roman could hear the money leave his wallet, and god did he need those 500 dollars of his to stay in his wallet and for jey to cough up 500 out of his own wallet. “wait, what? was it something i did? is it because of her?” roman asked, trying to find some sort of doorway that was still open that he could slip himself into.

y/n let her hand fall from her face, letting it fall back against her lap. “no, i literally just told you the reason why. are you even listening or are you too stuck in your own head?” she asked. she knew she had roman right where she wanted him, watching the way he drew in a breath nervously and he began to fidget with the watch he wore on his wrist.

roman stared at her, trying to read her body language and the way her eyes seemed to hide something from her. however, he knew that he didn’t know y/n like that. whenever the girl would talk about herself, the man would simply pocket the information and focus on how sinful her tits would look in a specific shirt.

and it hit him.

she wasn’t even confronting him about the bet, which was arguably the most problematic part of the whole narrative considering that it directly involved her. she was bluffing about knowing everything. roman didn’t even know if she even knew about the fact that the “ex” he mentioned was pregnant with his child.

but that also meant she was deadset on ending things with roman.

“y/n, please. don’t we have a good thing going on?” roman asked, taking a step forward and reaching for y/n’s hand. when he grabbed her hand, y/n pulled her hand away from his so ferociously as if he had just burned her.

“roman, i know it’s such a shit saying but i really mean it. it’s not you, it’s me. i need to figure shit out, okay? i’m sorry if i lead you on or whatever, but i’m hurting someone that means a whole lot to me and it was sort of my wake up call that i can’t keep on going on dates with you while sleeping with somebody else entirely.” y/n sighed, unable to even look roman in the eye as she tilted her head downwards.

roman stared at her with wide eyes. she was actively sleeping with someone else while roman was out here trying to get her to sleep with him by going on dates. he, jey, and jimmy had clearly gotten the wrong narrative about y/n. they thought she was a goody two shoes through and through: the type of girl that would only sleep with a guy if they were dating. she had even turned down roman when he made advances towards her and told him that she’d have to be his girlfriend before they went any further.

“it could have been that easy all along?” roman asked, and the change in his tone had made y/n look back up at roman. she was confused by roman’s words, not knowing what roman was even referring to, but what had caught her attention was the way roman’s voice had deepened to a sultry tone. and suddenly, roman was crouching down so he was eye level with y/n, his hands on her knees. “look, no matter how good this guy is at fucking you to the point where you were so deadset on having me wait until we start officially dating, i can assure you that i’m better. just give me one night, doll.”

y/n stared at roman with wide eyes, and she roughly pushed his hands off of her knees when they began to travel upwards. “i don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but i can assure you that i did not ask to talk to you just so you can ‘prove’ to me that you’re a sex god.” she huffed, scooting her chair back and standing up. “roman, if you want me to even think of you as a friend after all this, i think you should leave right now.” y/n suggested, watching the man stand up.

roman rested his hands against her hips, pulling her close to him and tightening his grip on her when he felt her press her hands against his chest to try and push him away. “come on, don’t be like that, doll. just one night.” he hummed.

y/n forcefully shoved roman away, stepping around him and opening the door. she turned to look at him, feeling the parts of her body that roman had laid his hands on begin to burn in the worst way possible. “get out. i’m not fucking you, roman. that’s not going to change my mind on ending whatever this is between us.” she huffed.

y/n hadn’t realized that across the hall, ted had opened the door to further air out the room because even with the window open, cody was absolutely hotboxing the fuck out of their enclosed space. he just so happened to have opened the door right when y/n had already turned back around.

“close the door, doll. it doesn’t have to be like this, come on. just one night and i can make you forget all about that guy and we can go back to having our little dates and what not.” roman continued to press, clearly not caring that ted was watching from his doorway. he walked towards her, placing his hand on her waist and already moving to shut the door closed before she smacked his hand away from her.

“stop fucking touching me, roman! how many times do i have to say it to get it through your fucking skull? you and me should go back to being just friends before i hurt anyone else. and if you still want to even be considered my friend, i suggest you walk your ass right out of this room.” y/n seethed.

roman grunted, “you’re being fucking difficult. so you’ll put out for some other dude but not me? come on, doll. stop being such a fucking prude.” roman placed his hand on the door and began to shut it, as he backed y/n into the wall, but before he could shut the door and y/n could push him away, the sound of a hand colliding with the door to keep it open rang throughout the hall.

“don’t call her that, roman.” ted called from where he stood behind cody, who was currently pressing his entire body weight against the door to push it all the way open.

roman took a step back from y/n, watching as cody stood in front of her protectively, swaying side to side in his doped haze. cody had a hand out behind him, keeping y/n tucked behind his frame as he glared at roman through his bloodshot eyes.

ted stepped in to the room, observing the obvious tension that had risen between cody and roman. ted knew cody would have probably said every insult that existed to roman and chewed him up if he were sober, but cody had gone nonverbal not too long after he had started smoking - a sign that the man was long gone in the clouds. even though the man was high out of his mind and couldn’t even hold himself up on his own two feet, something about hearing roman and y/n had made cody shoot out of his seat and storm over to the room before ted could even react - and ted was the sober one.

“ted. codes. it’s cool, i’m just trying to work something out with my girl. i’m not giving up on her. on us.” roman tried to reason. ted pulled a face when roman referred to y/n as his girl, while cody had visibly grown angrier.

“roman, if y/n is your girl then why don’t you just fucking listen to her and leave. we don’t want any trouble, man, and i’m sure you don’t want any either.” ted replied with a sigh, reaching out to place a hand on roman’s shoulder. roman shrugged off ted’s hand.

“look, i don’t care how close you two are to her. but what happens between me and y/n is none of your business. now, let me work things out with my girl.” he tried to get the other two to leave the room.

cody grabbed y/n’s wrist from behind him, pulling her in front of him and turning her around so her back was facing roman. he wrapped an arm around her shoulders to keep her pressed against his front as his other hand lifted the back of her shirt to proudly display the mark he had left on her lower back. y/n yelped at the sudden action, not knowing what cody was trying to do until she felt him lift her shirt and her eyes widened in realization. ted and roman both stared at cody’s name that had been engraved in her skin. the cut that read “cody’s <3” still red and irritated - a sign that it was a new addition to y/n’s body.

and when roman met cody’s gaze, he knew that if looks could kill, he’d be six feet under. cody narrowed his gaze at roman, and growled out a single word that could have been taken as a threat with how much malice it held.

“mine.”

|| next part ||

[theweirdgoodbyes]

misadventures at nix’s tavern

“Joe, you’re fired.”

“No, I’m not.”

Lewis Nixon put his head in his hands and wonders why the fuck this needed to be happening today of all days. Despite never advertising as such, but possibly having to do with his brusque employees and inability to keep a female hire, Nix’s Tavern had gotten the reputation as both an Irish bar and a gay bar; March 17th and June 28th were their busiest days of the year. It was the morning of Saint Patrick’s Day and all hands were on deck to keep shit as together as possible: Joe was an active hindrance to that. Joe, all 135 pounds of him, was his best bartender and worst nightmare rolled into one. He could make a drink quicker and better than anyone, was never late, and managed to piss off everyone who stepped in the door, highlighted by last night’s disaster.

“Joe, don’t do this to me today. C‘mon, man.”

“You can’t fire me. What did I do wrong?” Joe, who he doesn’t even remember hiring by the way, throws his arms up.

“What did you-Joe, do you remember calling a woman a troglodyte last night? Because I do. Do you remember her throwing one of my martini glasses at your head? You still smell like olives.”

“I didn’t call her a troglodyte, I called her boyfriend one,” Joe shrugs, looking back at the bar he had been summoned from, “Can I get back to my prep?”

“Her boyfriend, oh, my deepest apologies,“ Nix presses his hands together in mock remorse, “Yes, you called her boyfriend a troglodyte. That makes it so much better. Joe, I cannot fucking have you here tonight. Just go home. Please, man.”

“You can’t expect Welsh and Luz to be on bar alone!” Joe cries, pointing at the two other bartenders who are supposed to be cutting limes but seem to be having more fun balancing shot glasses on their palms.

“They have each other. Put the fucking glass down, George!” George shoots Nix a quick thumbs up before the three glasses he has balancing in his other hand fall to the floor and shatter. George just gives him a shrug. God, this day needs to be done with already.

“Lew, are you fucking stupid?”

“Stupid for letting you work here? Stupid for opening this place? I’m the biggest idiot on fucking earth.”

“Lew,” Joe says, as serious as Joe can ever be, “I’ll be good tonight. Promise.” It’s a bold faced lie, but they both know that Joe needs to be here. A fact that Nix hates and Joe will never let him forget. For all his flaws and abilities to irritate the shit out of most of their customers, Joe had been a godsend after Buck quit.

“Joe, I swear to God,” Nix says, the same warning he’s given him time and time again, “Last chance.”

“Last chance.” Joe gives him a shit eating grin and a wink before getting up from their table and heading back to the bar, grabbing a pan and broom on the way to clean up George’s mess.

Joe fucking Liebgott, Nix laments as he gets up and makes him way to the kitchen to check on Malarkey, I hope you get your ass kicked tonight.

Enjoy this little add on to my other dive bar!au posts, all of which are now tagged under “misadventures at nix’s tavern!

[cittielinks]

criminal on the loose!Yoo Joonghyuk x blind!Kim Dokja.

Yoo Joonghyuk has been running for almost 3 hours now. The adrenaline of being able to steal a billions worth of jewelry slowly faded away and the heaviness of his feet of constant running is tiring him up.

But he needs to hide, the police are still behind his tail, and he can’t afford to get caught not now, not when Mia is still waiting for him at home. 

Yoo Joonghyuk saw a shabby house in the middle of the forest, it’s so hidden that no one would be able to locate it if they don’t stare at the area hard. Yoo Joonghyuk quickly slip inside the house and hid. He slowly maintains his heart at a normal pace then he heard footsteps and murmurs.  His breath hitched as he saw a flashlight in the cracks. After what seems to be 10 minutes the footsteps run on the other side.

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t move for another 15 minutes. 

When he finally feels like he is safe, Yoo Joonghyuk slumped on the ground and sighed in relief. then he heard a noise. 

“Fuck—“ someone winced in pain then followed by a groan.

Yoo Joonghyuk stood up, accessing his surroundings once more.  He took his sharp blade from his boots and then proceeded to look for the voice. Worst case scenario Yoo Joonghyuk would have to kill someone. he had killed before and killing one more doesn’t matter.

When Yoo Joonghyuk opened the door as silently as possible, he saw a man thin and pale as snow wearing an overly big-sized green cardigan trapped in a dangled wire along with what looked to be a crane. Yoo Joonghyuk stopped in his tracks, the man clearly looks in his direction, in fact, the man looks like he was staring at him with dazed misty eyes. A blind man? Yoo Joonghyuk thought. such a shame, his eyes look like a holder of thousands of stars, though misty looks beautiful. 

“Fuck these wires, why did they even exist. Han Sooyoung I swear I’ll kill you—“

the man mumbled as he desperately tries to free himself. 

Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head and then slowly walks towards the fallen man, his blade ready to strike at any moment then floor boards creek. 

‘Shit’

The man stops struggling the tries to move his head. 

“Is anyone there?” The man asked softly, fear laced unto every word. 

“…”

“Hello?” 

For whatever reason, Yoo Joonghyuk decided to respond. Maybe bc he knew the man won’t harm him or maybe bc he needed new entertainment, maybe Yoo Joonghyuk knew he could kill the man at any moment, or maybe bc the man was pretty enough to warrant his mercy. 

“I’ll get it out for you.” 

The man sighed in relief and smiled. 

“Thank god! I thought I’d be stuck like this for a month until Han Sooyoung comes back.”

The man said. 

Yoo Joonghyuk placed the blade back on himself and walked towards the man, he untangles the wires and helped the man hold his crane. Yoo Joonghyuk cautiously leads the man to a chair and sits him down. 

the man giggled and then nodded. 

“thank you so much!” he started.

“Though I didn’t get your name. Who are you? Are you Han Sooyoung’s friend?” He asked very curiously. Yoo Joonghyuk inhaled then lied his way. 

“I’m Joonghyun. Sooyoung’s friend. Uhh they told me to take care of you until they come back”

Yoo Joonghyuk clenched his fist as he stares at the man who was in deep thought. The man nodded and murmured something. 

“I hope she didn’t blackmail you into helping me.” 

“No, she didn’t don’t worry.”

“Thank god! I needed a bit of help and Sooyoungie’s not here with me to help for another month. In any case, Please take care of me. I’m Kim Dokja! I hope you don’t mind taking care of an ugly blind old man.” 

Yoo Joonghyuk nodded and then almost slapped himself, the man— Kim Dokja couldn’t see him nodding so he made an affirmative noise.

——

For days Yoo Joonghyuk was on guard around the pretty blind man and yet he still help Kim Dokja eat and clean. He never knew how idiotic the man is until he started babysitting him. 

Kim Dokja would not eat his meals unless he was reminded to eat, he would always sit outside just to get fresh air without wearing something warm. 

Sometimes the man would hole up in his room doing something Kim Dokja only knows. 

How Kim Dokja survived all these years, he will never know.

——

It was around 15 days into his stay at Kim Dokja’s sorry excuse of a house. They were cuddled up on the couch with some cocoa and warm blankets, Kim Dokja found himself leaning unto Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest. Yoo Joonghyuk never questioned it, Kim Dokja has a privilege.

“Hey,” Kim Dokja murmured. Yoo Joonghyuk hummed letting the man know that he is listening. 

“What color is blue?” Kim Dokja asked softly. Yoo Joonghyuk stopped tinkering with his phone and stared at the man who was closing his eyes. It took Yoo Joonghyuk a few minutes to respond.

“I don’t know” He answered truthfully. He was by no means poetic, he could never describe colors in something Kim Dokja could understand. 

“It’s okay, I’m just curious,” he said as he fiddles with his hands. Yoo Joonghyuk gazed at his companion and then holds Kim Dokja’s hands.

“Blue.. Blue is everywhere.” Yoo Joonghyuk started. Kim Dokja snuggled closely to the taller man. 

“Blue is the color of the sky when dawn finally breaks free from the night. blue is something that engulfs everyone, it's vast and pretty and when you finally get to see the world, I hope blue is the first color you see.” 

Kim Dokja giggled. 

“Thank you,  Joonghyun-ah.” 

—— 

Then for a couple of days, Kim Dokja would always ask Yoo Joonghyuk about which colour is which. It never dawned to Yoo Joonghyuk that he never thought of killing Kim Dokja not until Kim Dokja kissed him on the cheeks.

This can’t happen. This shouldn’t happen. His goal is to entertain Kim Dokja then kill him then return back to his old life.

That was the goal.— that IS the goal. 

Yoo Joonghyuk reminded himself every day. and every day he tries to distance himself lest he starts to fall in love with a man whose vision God took, he doesn’t want to fall in love with a man whose only wish is to see and to be seen. 

But he can’t. He can’t stop himself from falling in love with the man who has held him when he felt too little, he can’t stop himself from falling in love with the man who wishes nothing but to see colours. He can’t stop himself from falling in love with Kim Dokja

It’s finally the 30th and in a few days, Han Sooyoung would return home. And today, Yoo Joonghyuk decided to leave before Kim Dokja knew what happened within the 30 days was a lie

Today they are both on the couch, cuddling as they hold hands. Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes never left Kim Dokja who was trying to read braille using one hand. 

This is the last time. Yoo Joonghyuk thought, his hands tightening at the thought of not seeing Kim Dokja after this.

“hey, Jonghyun-ah.” 

“What is it now, Kim Dokja?” 

Yoo Joonghyuk chuckled as he saw Kim Dokja pout. 

“What color is white and black?” 

“ White… white is the opposite of black.” 

“That’s it? You suck Joonghyun-ah!”

“Oh yeah?” Yoo Joonghyuk huffs as he poked Kim Dokja’s cheeks.

“But seriously!” 

“White is the absence of color, White is pure and something that can’t be attained easily as it’s not really a colour in a general sense. Same as Black. Black is something you know well. Black is the opposite of white it does not penetrate colors as this is empty and cold.” 

“You made it sound like black is bad.” Kim Dokja puffs his cheeks. 

“Really now?”  Yoo Joonghyuk raised his eyebrows and smiled gently, 

“Black.. I feel like although it sounded empty and cold. Black is something that is constant in my life. It’s there when I tried to open my eyes and it’s going to be there when I’m at the end of my lifeline. So in a general sense, I do not think black is something to be called empty and dark.”  Kim Dokja murmured.

———

When the day is finally over, Yoo Joonghyuk carried Kim Dokja unto his bed and tucked him in. 

Yoo Joonghyuk stared at Kim Dokja one last time. He can’t help but pressed his lips on his forehead and whispered good night to Kim Dokja. Just as he was about to leave, Kim Dokja grabbed the hem of his shirt.

“You’re not gonna stay?” he asked. 

Yoo Joonghyuk wanted to stay but he can’t he had already asked for too much and he couldn’t ask for more. 

“No, but I’ll see you tomorrow” No we won’t— 

“Then… good night, Joonghyuk-ah.” 

“What?… you knew?”

Kim Dokja nodded, he tries to locate Yoo Joonghyuk but with no eyesight, he stared in the wrong direction. 

“I knew for a while, now. Everyone was looking for a Yoo Joonghyuk. When you barged in, I was ready to end myself.”

Yoo Joonghyuk’s breath once again hitched in fear. He held Kim Dokja’s hands almost suddenly and tighten his hold.

“I thought maybe you’d kill me any minute so I played unto your charades. But I like being with you and I thought that as long as you willing to have me, I’d give you my little life any day.” 

“…”

“I’m sorry, Joonghyuk-ah.” 

“T-then Han Sooyoung? What about Han Sooyoung? Is she not real?!” Kim Dokja shooked his head. 

“She’s real, she was supposed to visit me two weeks ago but I told her not to because you’re here.”

Yoo Joonghyuk was silent, it has not yet understood what is happening. Kim Dokja knew? all this time? 

“You don’t hate me?” Yoo Joonghyuk asked, nervously his body trembled as he gaze at Kim Dokja intensely. 

“I like you, Joonghyuk-ah. Just what are you saying?” Kim Dokja laughs

“Your life is mine now. I won’t let you go.” 

“It’s always yours.” 

“I’ll let you see the whole colors, I promise.”

“Hmm!” 

——

 “Kim Dokja, 30 years old,  blind last seen at XXX has been filed missing. If you have any information please call the police. Thank you—“

Han Sooyoung sighed as she turned off the television. Her friend disappeared all of a sudden. Everyone said he was killed by a bear, some say he was murdered. She was set to visit him last week but when she finally arrived, the house was in shambles and there was no Kim Dokja in sight.

She could just hope that Kim Dokja is safe and happy.

[malarkgirlypop]

MEDIC! Part 24 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)

Well, well, well. Looks like I forgot about this again! whoops! I hope you all enjoy and get prepared, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, no hate to anyone involved.

Tag list: @next-autopsy, @panzershrike-pretz, @xxluckystrike, @bucky32557038ww2, @b00ks1ut, @footprintsinthesxnd

“I can’t believe you two idiots talked me into this!” I said, shaking my head as George and Frank ransacked the hen house for eggs. 

“Come on chicken.” Cooed Frank to the clucking bird. “Listen all I said was do you want an omelette and you said yes.” He said while the chicken flapped furiously in his face as he handed it over to Luz who didn’t seem keen. Flinching away from the fury of its wings.

“Yeah and I thought you were going to make me one, not take me to the source!” I held out my helmet as he carefully placed the eggs inside. 

“If this thing bites me Frank, I swear I’ll shoot it.” George said. We all swung around hearing the barn door being opened. A young woman looked shocked to see us stealing her goods. I gave a sheepish smile, as did Frank. I looked over to Luz who eyed up the poor girl.

“Guten Tag, frauline.” George blushed. I looked over to Frank who shook his head at our friend. 

“Guten Tag." She replied timidly, leaving the barn in a rush. 

“Hold on- hold.” George called to her, moving quickly from his spot. 

“No, George, leave her alone!” I called to him as he passed me the chicken, who pecked at my hands. He hurriedly followed the girl out of the barn. 

“George!” Frank and I called together. He sprinted after the girl who ran from him. 

“Does he know that if she’s running away she probably doesn’t want to talk to him?” I asked Frank as he continued filling up my helmet with eggs. 

“He says that he’s a ladies man. But sprinting after a lady doesn’t win them over.” I said the last part loudly so he could hear me. I handed my helmet to Frank. I sighed following Luz, Perco on my heels. 

We found him cornering her in the bar, as she used a cow to hide behind. 

“George leave her alone, can’t you see she’s scared.” I said, shaking my head, sending an apologetic look to the girl. Her eyes wide as she backed away from Luz. 

“How about you leave me alone.” He said as he tried to talk to her. 

“George I swear to god, leave her alone!” I told him sternly. But he didn’t listen. Frank sighed leaving me in the barn, I’m sure he was going to go and collect more eggs. 

I marched over to him, grabbing him by his collar and dragging him away. “Emily! Let me go!” He cried trying to wrangle out of my grip. The girl took her opportunity darting forward quickly, slapping him in the face. I let go of him, covering my mouth in shock. She darted past us, giving me a look of thanks as she left. I burst out laughing. 

“Shut up!” He said grumpily, trying to ease the pain on his cheek as he rubbed it. 

“FRANK!” I called, running out of the barn, he was making his way out of the hen house. 

“She fucking slapped him!” I cackled, Frank’s face cracking into a smile. 

“Would you two shut it!” He was embarrassed. As Frank and I giggled. We started walking back to base, down the dirt road we had taken to come here. 

“Just because you already have a lover.” George bumped me. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I feigned ignorance. It was now George and Frank’s turn to laugh at me. 

“Oh please, you two are so obvious.” Frank said, smiling at me. 

“Don, I love you, kiss me.” George said, mimicking me, as he batted his lashes and pouted. 

“I have never said that, and I don’t sound like that!” I said, rolling my eyes, but still laughing at their silly banter. 

“No, no. She sounds more like this. Oh Don, you're so handsome and strong.” Frank cupped his hands to his face acting shy, speaking in a high pitched voice. Before I could come back with a retort an army truck whizzed past us. I strained my eyes to see who was sitting in the front. Making out the dark thick eyebrows and familiar jaw of Nixon. 

“That Captain Nixon?” George asked, confirming my suspicion as to who I thought it was. 

“I think so.” Frank replied as we watched the car disappear down the road. I nodded in agreement with the two men. 

“What the hell is he doing in his harness?” George queried. 

“I don’t know. Maybe we jumped into Berlin, the war’s over.” Perco jokes. 

“Yeah, huh?” George said, still rubbing his hurt cheek, making me laugh again.

“Still can’t believe she smacked you in the mouth.” I said as we all laughed again.   

“Tell you what though, Germany’s looking like it’s gonna be pretty good fraternising territory, huh?” George said to Perco. 

“Ew gross, George.” I said, pushing him in the shoulder as we wandered down the road.     

—------------------

“Where have you been?” I was snuggled from behind by familiar arms. 

“Hiding from you.” I said cheekily. Looking around to check the coast was clear before pressing a kiss to Don’s lips. “Perco said he was going to make me an omelette and then I was somehow beguiled into stealing eggs.” Don gave me a funny look as he chuckled. “But I’ll tell you what, George sucks at flirting. He sucks so much he got smacked in the face.” Don and I giggled together, at the thought of poor George with his sore face.

“Well, haven't you had an interesting morning.” Don said, tapping me on the chin. I grinned nodding at the man. 

“What’s the plan for today then?” I asked Don as we walked down the street. 

“Well I’m going to pick up my mail and then who knows.” Don shrugged. “I guess I’ll do whatever needs to be done. I haven’t had any orders today.” I nodded my head listening to him speak. 

“What about you?” He asked.

“I was going to help Gene with the stock take and then lend a hand if they needed any help in the aid station.” I told him about my plans for the day. 

“Well if you’re free later do you want to go for a walk?” He asked shyly.

“Are you asking me on a date?” I asked bashfully, stopping in my tracks, a teasing smile pulling at my lips. He grabbed my arm and moved me along beside him.

“Yes I am! So what do you say?” He said holding my hand, but hiding it behind his back. We weren’t technically allowed to be together, if we got caught we would be in trouble. But it was hard to hide our feelings, I just wanted to cling to his side and never let go and press a million kisses to his lips. 

“Of course I say yes!” I smiled up at him, a blush rising to my cheeks. He still sent shivers down my spine with every smile and kiss. The butterflies in my stomach never stopped dancing. 

We arrived outside the post office where the army post came in and out. “Sergeant Malarkey.” A soldier called, we dropped our hands quickly, as the man approached. 

“I’ll get your mail, while you chat.” I said leaving him to speak with the man who had called him. 

I walked into the building to see Ron standing at the counter, “Yes, just keep these for Emily. This is my pile, which I’m sending home and these are for her.” He slid his goods across the bench towards Vest who gave him a puzzled look. My brows furrowed, what was this conversation I just walked in on. 

“Morning Emily!” Vest said in a chipper voice when he saw me standing in the doorway. 

“Morning.” I smiled at the man, my gaze falling onto the Captain who turned slowly to look at me. A nervous expression appeared on his face. 

“What can I do for you today?” Vest asked, walking closer to where I was standing. I pulled my gaze from Ron.                   

“Just here to pick up Malarkey’s post.” I told him. He smiled, turning away to grab his mail.  

“You haven’t gotten any mail yet Lane.” He said as he turned back, handing me Don’s letters. I stilled, I could feel Ron’s gaze on the both of us. I knew if I looked over he was sending a warning glare to Vest who was oblivious. 

“Ah, yeah. I don’t have any family.” I said sheepishly, feeling a blush rush to my cheeks. Vest’s face fell as he nodded slowly, looking as awkward as I felt.

“Oh!” He said surprised. I gave a tight lipped smile taking the letters we were both holding, his grip loose. Ron started heading for the door to leave. I turned quickly to speak to him but Vest beat me to it. 

“Boy, your folks are sure gonna have quite a collection by the time you get home, sir.” Vest called to him, making Ron face us. A cheeky smile formed on his lips as he looked at us. 

“Finders keepers.” He grinned and marched out the door. 

“Thank you, Vest. See you around.” I called over my shoulder as I hurried out the door after Ron. In such a short amount of time Ron had gotten so far away. I ran to catch up to him. 

“Captain! Captain!” I yell, trying not to get run over by the cars that flew down the street. I ran across the road finally reaching him. 

“Sir!” I panted, as he walked briskly. 

“Yes, Lane?” Ron asked casually, like I hadn’t just been chasing him down. 

“Sir, what did you mean back there? What are you keeping for me?” I inquired, matching his pace. He stopped abruptly, making me crash into a person in front of me. 

“Oh I’m so sorry.” I apologised to the man who glared at me. I couldn’t say anything more as Ron dragged me to the side. 

“You can’t tell anyone this!” He said sternly. I nodded, unsure of what I was agreeing to keep secret. 

“I am a collector as you know.” I nodded again, a collector isn’t what I would call it more like stealing, but sure a collector works as well. 

“I have been sending things home, but I have put some aside for you.” Ron said in a hushed tone. I furrowed my brows in confusion. 

“Why have you been putting things aside for me, sir?” I asked not sure of what he was implying. 

“I’m worried about you Emily. You have no funds, nothing! I also checked and you’re not registered. There is no Emily Lane sectioned with Easy Company. So you aren’t even being paid for working here!” Ron’s face was a mix of concern and anger. I felt like I was being scolded by my mother for doing something dangerous. 

“Sir, you don’t-” I started trying to tell him he didn’t have to worry about me. 

“No! No, Emily, I don’t want to hear it. I am concerned and I am going to worry!” My mouth clamped shut as he cut me off.

“How are you going to go home and live?” He asked his face serious.

“I-” I started, unsure of how I was going to answer this question. 

“You don’t know, do you? Well the stuff I have been keeping for you, you can sell. You won’t get a lot but it will be enough, hopefully.” He sighed, raking his hand through his hair. I didn’t know what to say, but tears welled in my eyes. He cared so much about me he had been putting things aside for me to sell so I could stay afloat after the war. I stepped forward hugging him tightly, his arms wrapped around me. I stepped back again before someone saw. 

“Thank you Ron.” I smiled sweetly at him, he shook his head smiling back at me. 

“I have no idea what I’m gonna do with you.” Ron reached out patting my shoulder. 

“You’re too nice to me. What about your reputation?” I asked cheekily, a wry grin forming on his lips. 

“It’s ok, the men know if they hurt you at all, my reputation still stands. Especially that Malarkey! You tell him, won’t you Em.” He smiled warmly, tapping me under the chin, before disappearing into the crowd. I realised that even Captain Speirs had caught onto the connection between Don and I. I blushed profusely, we weren’t as subtle as we thought we were. 

—---------------------

I sat staring up at Nix who read the news to the group of men I sat with. I had been watching George and the other guys play cards. I had been banned from playing, since the last time I lost so badly I had to give up cigarettes and money I didn’t have. Poor Don had to pay my debt which he wasn’t happy about.

“That was three packs of smokes! Why did you keep playing?” He said annoyed but still handed over the goods. 

“I’m sorry I thought I could win them back!” He rolled his eyes as I pouted, “I’m sorry, ok, so sorry.” I kissed him. 

He huffed but a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, “You love me! Don come on!” I teased, as he tried to fight from smiling at me. 

“Smile if you love me.” I grinned in his face, poking at his cheeks. He burst out laughing, “Fine! I love you, but no more poker! You got it?” He said pulling back the pack of smokes I needed. 

I nodded, “Yes, yes. I swear no more poker!” 

So yes, I was watching the poker, not playing, even though they all tried to goad me into it.

“Come on, I need a win. Emily, play.” George nudged me. 

“No George, I am not playing just so you can win!” I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest. He groaned, he had been trying to convince me for a solid five minutes.

“I’m sure that you’ll all be happy to know ‘Oklahoma's’ still playing on broadway.” Nix announced amused. A cheer went around the group, I cheered weakly unsure of the play Oklahoma but still joining in on the fun.

“Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plain and waving wheat can sure smell sweet when the wind comes…” George started singing, as the men joined in with him. Nixon laughed along pretending to be the conductor at the front of the group. George leaned over to me as he sang, nudging me. I smiled at him laughing, not joining in on the singing as I didn’t know the words. George motioned for the men to stop singing, but the soldier in front of him, a replacement, didn’t see him. 

“Right behind the rain!” The replacement finished the song in his high voice enthusiastically. Sending the other soldiers into fits of laughter. 

“Aw, don’t be mean.” I prodded George as he chuckled. 

“O’Keefe are you sitting on your bayonet there?” Christenson asked the man, the other’s chortled at his joke. 

“Why don’t you leave the singing to Luz, or even Lane. Heard you were a good singer.” Christenson turned to look at me. I shook my head profusely. 

“Oh no, I don’t know what you heard but I would leave the singing to Luz.” I raised my hands in defence trying to get the attention off me. 

“Oh don’t be so modest.” Luz grinned at me, I sighed, his grin could only mean one thing. He had an idea. 

“No seriously!” I started, pointing at Luz trying to get him to turn off his I’m-gonna-fuck-with-you-face. 

“Why don’t you give us a song, I didn’t see you joining in with us.” Christenson smiled, Luz grinning at him.

“No.” I shook my head, chuckling awkwardly. 

“Yeah, sing!” Luz prompted again. 

“No, no!” I looked at both of them silently begging them to drop the game they were playing. 

“SING! SING!” George cheered, looking around to the other men, who also joined in. I sat there red in the face as they chanted at me to sing.  

“FINE! Fine, I will sing.” I stopped them from yelling. They all quietened, leaning in slightly with eager faces. They all look so proud they had peer pressured me into doing this. I cleared my throat, a wry smile pulling at my lips. 

“All you ladies, pop your pussy like this, shake your body, don't stop, don't miss. Just do it, do it, do it, do it, now lick it good, suck this pussy just like you should, right now lick it good, suck this pussy just like you should, my neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack.” I sang loudly, grinning widely. The faces of the men dropped from coy smiles to looks of pure horror and shock. Nixon from the front of the group keeled over in hysterics. George leaped forward covering my mouth. I pried his hand away, singing even louder.

“Shhh, stop it!” George covered my mouth again, muffling my singing. “She’s a strange one.” He said chuckling embarrassed. I laughed behind his hand, I had played him at his own game. George finally let me go after ensuring I wasn’t going to sing again. 

“I’m sorry, miss, what does ‘pop your pussy’ mean?” O’Keefe asked in his sweet voice. I covered my mouth to stop myself from bursting out laughing. 

“You’ll understand when you’re older.” George said, motioning him to turn and face the front again. George sent me a kick to the shin. 

“What you asked me to sing!” I giggled as he shook his head but he couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face. 

“Aww, Rita Hayworth’s getting married.” Nixon sadly tells the group, who all moan and groan. 

“Oh, Rita say it isn’t true.” Luz jokes. Nixon mumbles while flicking through more of the notices. 

“Wartime news. Resistance in the Ruhr pocket’s crumbling. It looks like there might be a breakout in Remagen.” Nixon reports, the men acknowledging the good news, letting out some hearty cheers. 

“Apparently the Krauts forgot to blow up one of their bridges when they headed back over the line. I guess the boys in the 17th Airborne did ok after all.” Nixon nodded. 

“Eh, forget it. We’d be in Berlin by now, sir. If it was us instead of them, huh?” George boasts, sending the men into another round of more jovial cheers.

[icallhimjoey]

Only Temporary

♥ ♥          Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: Joe needs a temporary living space, and you happen to have a spare room to let. One plus one equals two, baby.

CW / disclaimer: rpf (don’t read if this makes you uncomfy), fem!reader, swearing (lots), so far fluff only

Author’s note: this is the second part out of five. I'll maybe add onto the summary as the story grows, if it needs it. It's looking to be another slow burn (because I love those the most). We'll see! (rewrittern 14 nov 2023)

Wordcount: 5.1K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

Big sigh.

It was always the same fucking issue. You contemplated why you even had a car to begin with at this point.

And yours sucked too, didn't seem to want to work when it had you behind its wheel for whatever reason. 

Had you mentioned life being shit already?

You slowed down and idled along the tree-lined pavement. Leaning over your steering-wheel, top teeth tucked into your bottom lip, your eyes darted from side to side in your usual routine of looking for a parking space. 

Coming back from visiting family, it was just past two in the afternoon, and you didn’t hold out much hope. 

In all the years you’d lived in your flat, you’d never parked right outside it. It was always the same story, bumper-to-bumper all the way down your street.

You flung yourself back into your seat. 

Shit.

You had to circle the block, probably about a dozen more times too, and then you’d probably still end up parking about a mile away, anyway. 

You tried focusing on the positives. It would get your step count up, burn some extra cal-

Oh my God! 

You almost missed a Range Rover pulling out of a parking space and you very nearly drove straight into it. You slammed the breaks and came to an abrupt halt. You looked up at the windscreen of the Range Rover and mouthed “Sorry,” at the driver.

It was him. 

Your neighbour.

For a moment, you weren’t quite sure what to do, so you just sat there as he nodded a curt response, swerved around you, and roared off down the street. 

Smooth.

You looked in your rear-view mirror and watched the grey swirls of fumes around his exhaust, listening to the noise of the engine as he accelerated away. 

Typical. 

You’d done it again. 

Bumped into him like a complete idiot. 

Depressed, you slumped over your steering-wheel and rested your forehead on the badge in the centre. You closed your eyes and replayed the last scene torturously in your head, the look he gave you as he drove off and- wait...

Hang on a fucking minute. 

If he had just left, that meant… 

There, where the Range Rover had just been parked, right opposite your flat, you saw what any resident of your street would describe as a modern-day miracle. 

A parking space.  *

“Do you think you have time for a quick trip to Zara? Help me buy something to wear for my date tomorrow?” your flight attendant friend had only just landed and had to make most of her time at home before she’d be jetting off again. 

Only getting so many chances to see her, you’d given her a key ages ago so she could let herself in if you were still getting wine at the corner shop. Because when she was over, it was always wine o’clock, no matter the time of day.  

“Afraid I’m busy later,” you knew a quick trip to Zara wasn't really a thing, as it would always lead to more visits to more shops and you didn’t have the time for it today.

“Too busy for Zara?” you friend was incredulous. “But there’s a sale on.”

“I know, but my new flatmate’s moving in today,” you explained. 

“Ooh?" She immediately perked up. "Tell me more.” Folding her arms, she primed herself for more information.

“He saw the room on Saturday and was going to move in yesterday, but he had work? I don’t think he had work, but... it was... something, I don't know.” 

“It’s a he?” your friend raised her eyebrows with interest. 

“You can’t- do not test-drive my flatmate,” you warned her, stopping her in her tracks. 

She looked at you indignantly. 

“The thought never even crossed my mind.” 

Now it was your turn to raise your eyebrows.

“Okay, fine, it crossed. But now it’s crossed back again,” she protested, waving her glass of wine around. “So, what’s he like?”

“He’s…” you had to think of a second. “He’s got brown eyes... um... shit, that’s all I know about him.” You confessed, realising you told him not to leave the toilet seat up, but hadn’t asked him anything about himself. 

“I guess I’ll find out later,”

“Do you need me as a chaperone? Your personal sidekick?”

“I’ll be fine, thanks,” you did a mental time-check. Maybe if your friend would leave in an hour, you still had time to blow-dry your hair straight. 

You caught yourself. 

Jesus.

This wasn’t a date.

“Is that really safe?” warned your friend. “He could be a murderer.”

What she really meant was, he could be a single murderer. 

“I doubt it. He seemed really nice,” you said, having seen right through her concerned-friend act. “Eddie liked him.”  

Your friend gasped and looked around to see if she could spot him. Eddie disliked your best friend with fierce passion. 

“That fucking bitch of a cat,” she started, but steered back within a second. “I think I should stay. Safety in numbers and all that.” She persevered.  

“Yea but also, two’s a company, three’s a crowd,” you added.

“Well, it’s up to you. If you want to risk being chopped up into little bits and pieces, and placed into Tupperware boxes in your fridge... there's no lock on your bedroom door, you know,” 

Sigh.

Fine.

You gave in.

“All right, all right. You can stay for dinner. He’ll be moving in soon after.” 

Her face split into a huge grin and she stretched out both arms, hands with wiggly fingers, which you reached for and you let her giddily grab your arm.  

“But please, no making a fuss,” you warned.

“A fuss? Me?” she instantly let go of you and clutched her ample chest, looking at you in hurt astonishment. 

“Trust me, you won’t even know I’m here still.”  

That evening, you watched as you best friend sucked in her stomach and reached for a bottle of wine, showing you her underwear as she leant forward. 

“Any more wine?” her underwear had a little diamond heart on it, and you had the urge to twang it, like a catapult. 

“It’s Joseph, right?” she pouted, her lips slick with lipgloss.

“Joe. It’s um... yea, it's just Joe,” 

“If you insist. Any more wine, just Joe?”

The three of you were outside in the garden. It was one of those warm summer evenings when there wasn’t a breath of wind. The air was scented with a cocktail of jasmine, lavender and the sausages from your next-door neighbour’s barbecue - wouldn't a barbecue be fucking great to have? - and you had music playing on the little portable speaker balanced on the window ledge. You even lit a bunch of little tea lights and placed them around the shrubbery, which took forever as they kept going out and burning your fingers. It was worth the effort though, they really transformed your garden.

You glanced around and felt a glow of pleasure. In retrospect, you didn’t know why you’d been so nervous. Everything had turned out just fine.

Well, not everything. 

As your eyes rested on your friend, who was wiggling around the table with her bum still stuck out, you felt a lump of irritation in your throat and flicked your eyes over her shoulder, all shimmery with body glitter, and watched as Joe lit another cigarette.

He had turned up with his things – a rucksack and a book bag – a couple of hours ago. When he had dumped both on his bed, he’d kicked off his shoes and dug out a packet of camel blues from his jacket. 

He did mention something about another piece of luggage coming in later, as he had to take public transport and didn’t want to struggle on his way over. 

He could take two trips. 

From where? 

You weren’t sure.

“Mind if I have a smoke outside?” he had asked, padding barefoot into the back garden. 

“Please, make yourself at home,” you’d called after him somewhat redundantly as he’d already stretched out on a sun-lounger with Eddie purring in his lap.

Well, you couldn’t just leave him there, could you? 

As his landlady, weren’t you supposed to be grandly welcoming him into your home and make him feel at ease? 

But your ability to make small talk had completely abandoned you, so you hovered around for a bit, fiddled with things that didn’t need fiddling with, made a comment on the smell of barbecue being the best smell there was, to which Joe agreed, and then thanked your best friend for tottering in and taking over.

She had stepped out with two bottles of Pinot Grigio and a corkscrew, and had taken control of the conversation in full flight attendant mode. 

“So, what brings you over?” she was now asking flirtily. “Business, or pleasure?” 

“Business,” Joe answered in such a way that either he hadn’t noticed you best friend was flirting, or if he had, he was politely ignoring it. 

“But before I bore you with any details, you’ll have to excuse me a moment,” he turned to you and asked where the bathroom was. A question you knew was only asked to be polite; your flat was small, and he’d seen where the bathroom was. 

“Second on the left,” your friend chimed in before you could answer. 

As soon as Joe had disappeared, you turned to your friend. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” you hissed furiously. 

“Breaking the ice,” she simply said, all wide-eyed and innocent. 

It didn’t fool you for a minute. 

“Breaking the ice is asking someone about the weather,” you gasped. “What happened to, ‘trust me, you won’t even know I’m here still’?”

Taking a slug of wine, she sloshed it around her mouth for a moment, swallowed, then looked at you sheepishly. 

“Okay, I’ll admit I’ve been a bit flirty.” 

“A bit?” 

Lies.

“Oh, come on. I just thought in case my date for tomorrow doesn’t work out, you know. It’s always good to have a plan B.” 

“My flatmate’s your plan B?” you said indignantly, feeling suddenly protective of Joe, possessive even. 

“Well, why not? You don’t fancy him.”

True. But–

“Oh, shit. You don’t, do you?” her face froze. “I didn’t know! If I had thought for a moment–”

“No, of course I don’t.” you protested hotly. “It’s just…” you trailed off sighing. 

You didn’t know the end to the sentence you’d started. 

Then, your friend leant over and squeezed your hand and said, "I know. I’m sorry," in understanding. "Maybe I have come on a bit strong."

“A bit strong?” you grinned ruefully. “I’m surprised you didn’t bring your aromatherapy oil.”

“Who says I didn’t?” she laughed, and despite yourself, you couldn’t help but join in.

It was about an hour and a half later when you said goodbye to your friend at the door. 

She was drunk, and her Uber was waiting so she had to scurry to keep her rating up. 

The rest of the night had been fine, apart from the embarrassing questions your friend had thrown into the group. It had taught you that all three of you were single, which was nice to know, but outwardly asking the last time anyone had gotten laid wasn’t the best way to have gone about it, you thought. 

Your friend telling Joe about your neighbour that you had feelings for but had yet to have a decent conversation with wasn’t fantastic either. You'd immediately denied everything of course, said your friend was drunk and didn't know what she was on about, but the flush of your cheeks had given you away entirely. 

Luckily, Joe had been a real gentleman about it and hadn’t pressed it any further. 

Back in the garden you saw Joe was gathering up the glasses and empty bottles. When he stepped inside and placed everything down on the kitchen counter, you hovered in the kitchen for a moment.

“Night then,” you said eventually. 

“Yea, night.” 

Another pause. 

“You can use the bathroom first, if you like,” you offered politely. 

“No, it’s okay, you go ahead. Ladies first.” he replied, equally polite.

“No, please, you’re the guest.”  

“Honestly, it’s fine.” 

Backwards and forwards it went, like tennis, until finally you won, and he disappeared into the bathroom with his toothbrush. 

You went into your bedroom and started to undress, pulling off your T-shirt and jeans and tugging on your old tartan pajamas. When you turned to the mirror you saw that the elastic had perished at the waistband, so your butt looked all baggy as if you were wearing a nappy. 

You froze at the sight of yourself. 

There was no way you were going to be wearing those ever again. 

Stripping them off and chucking them onto the floor, you yanked open your drawers, searching for another pair of pajamas you knew were in there, but you could only find the top. 

Were you going to be walking around in your bare legs with your thighs out for Joe to see? 

Was this the type of flatmate you were going to be?

Next door you could hear taps being turned on and off, teeth being brushed, the toilet flushing, a plug being pulled out and the basin draining. Any minute now it was going to be your turn, and you were going to have to make it from your bedroom to the bathroom without being seen.

When you heard the lock turn, you waited a second and pressed your cheek against your doorframe to peer through the crack. You could see a letterbox of light, floorboards, and your fern, which... shit, that desperately needed watering.  

No sign of Joe. 

Good.

With a flush of relief, you eased open your door and tiptoed bravely into the hall, bare thighs out and all. 

This was your flat, after all. 

You could have your thighs out a second.

Especially if no one was actually going to see them.

Turning into the bathroom, you shrieked. 

“Oh, sorry. Did I scare you?”

Joe was still in there.  

“Jesus Christ, yes – I mean, no – no, it’s okay,” clutching your chest, you tried to catch your breath. Which is when it dawned on you that Joe was naked but for a pair of checkered boxers. 

Not that you meant to look.

“Oh, by the way, you never did say why you were visiting,” you blurted, in an attempt at casual chit-chat as you reached for your toothbrush. 

You caught yourself eyeing Joe in the mirror, which wasn’t difficult to do when he was just standing there still, all naked flesh and muscle. 

Joe saw you look. 

Shit. 

Eyes straight ahead. 

Stop staring. 

Your eyes shot down where you saw Eddie, twirling around Joe’s legs, tail up high, waiting and wishing for some attention. 

You and me both, you thought.

“I didn’t?” Joe wrung out a facecloth you hadn’t noticed he was holding. Just like you hadn’t noticed that the bathroom was spotless. 

No toilet seat left up, no soggy towel on the floor and or bristles on the soap. Huh.

“I’m here for my job, we’re on location for a bit, and it’s near here,”

“Oh, really?” you said vaguely, throwing him your best smile of approval. 

Love a man with a job, you know, especially now that you didn’t have one. 

You then reached for the toothpaste and noticed that the top was screwed on properly. Overcome with the warm glow of satisfaction, you knew you’d made the right decision of having Joe move in. You were going to get on great. 

“What kind of job?” 

Picking up his clothes as he walked out of the bathroom, Joe then went and spoiled it all by telling you something you really didn’t want to hear. 

“I’m an actor.” 

Well...

Shit.

A few days later you were stood in the hallway and watched Joe rehearse lines in his bedroom through the gap in the door, script in hand and all. 

You clamped your hands over your mouth to suppress a groan. 

Maybe it wasn't entirely fair to Joe, but your ex-boyfriend had been an actor, and everything about it had been awful. 

The cockiness. 

The dramatics. 

The impossible work hours, and the selfishness that came with them. 

“I know it's your birthday, and you've had this trip planned for months, but I've been invited to an award show, I'm going to have to cancel.” 

Okay, asshole. 

Add the climbing up social ladders you weren’t interested in and the feigned importance over people with bad personalities. 

And the namedropping? 

Ugh. 

Just, that whole world? 

So pretentious and absolutely awful. 

A floorboard beneath your feet creaked. Shit. He was going to come out of his bedroom and catch you there. Spying. 

You weren’t spying, though. 

You just got home from shopping with your best friend and happened to be walking past, you thought frantically as you dove into the bathroom to avoid being caught. 

You locked the door and turned on the taps. 

So, you hated actors. 

But you didn’t hate Joe. 

On the contrary, he was a really nice guy and he even put the top on the toothpaste, you reminded yourself with satisfaction as you eyed it on the sink. 

“Hello?” There was a polite knock on the door, and Joe’s voice. “Are you in there?” 

“Yes,” you replied, startled. “Sorry, are you waiting? I won’t be a minute!” Worried your cover was about to be blown, you clanked around with the soap-dish to add a bit of realism.

“No, it’s fine, take your time. But when you’re finished, come outside to the garden.”

“The garden?” you mouthed at your reflection, wondering what Joe was up to.

“I’ve got a surprise,” Joe then added. 

You took a few more minutes to fix up your hair and make-up, might as well, since you were in there, before emerging tentatively and padding down the hallway barefoot. 

You were racking your brain for a possible answer as to what the surprise could be, so you could be prepared for it when, suddenly, a funny smell distracted you...

You sniffed the air curiously as you walked into the kitchen. 

It was almost as if something was burning. 

As the idea struck, you hurried to glance through the patio doors into the back garden. 

It was full of smoke. 

Oh, shit. 

Panic set in. 

Your house was on fire! 

Did you remember to pay the household insurance? You knew it was on your list of things to do. 

Frantically, you started looking around the kitchen. 

You need something like– something like a jug. 

A large glass jug of lilies sat in the middle of the table, so you grabbed it, dumped the flowers in the sink and dashed outside, water slopping over the edge. 

Grey smoke was billowing from behind the glass of the opened patio doors.

Shit, shit, shit.

Vaulting over the step, you spun ‘round the side, your fingers slipping on the wet glass as you swung it back with all your might. 

Only there weren’t any flames. 

Just Joe. 

“Tah dah!” He threw him arms wide and grinned as he saw you, but it was too late. 

Like a pendulum, the vase had swung, which meant it also had to swing back.

Suddenly everything was happening at once, but it was as if someone had slowed the time right down and you were watching it on film. The water swooshing out of the vase, soaring through the air like a huge wave, every droplet magnified as Joe’s face came into shot and began its journey through a remarkable range of emotions – from happiness, to confusion, to open-mouthed shock as the water eventually hit him square in the face. 

And then, you were back in normal time. 

You saw Eddie scurry away, wet tail and all.

Joe, totally drenched, was standing there, dripping, blinking, gasping. 

Still handsome, you thought.

“Um… what the fuck?” 

“Oh, shit,” you muttered as you watched him wipe his wet face and hair with his apron. 

Apron? 

Joe was wearing your frilly apron over a white shirt. And he was holding tongs in one hand and a packet of sausages in the other, standing in front of a shiny metal object that looked suspiciously like…  

“A barbecue?” you blurted.

“It’s a housewarming gift – well, for my housewarming. I thought you might like it, seeing as you mentioned you liked the smell...” 

As he was speaking, you glanced down at his feet and noticed he was now standing in a puddle of water.  

“But if I’d known I was going to get that reaction, I might have stuck with a scented candle.” Joe scrunched his nose.

“Shit,” was all you could muster. 

Joe tipped his head and shook it like a dog, spraying you with drops of water. Not on purpose, you reasoned, stepping back so he didn’t drench you in the process.

“I’m so sorry, I thought something was burning.”

“It was the sausages,” Joe paused and looked at your facial expression.

“Maybe this was a bad idea,” and the embarrassment on his face only made yours grow deeper. 

“No! No, it was a great idea!” you protested. “I mean, it is a great idea. I love the barbecue, and I love sausages.”

Enthusiastically you grabbed a fork and leant over him to pluck a charred object from the grill. For a moment your bravery wavered, but then you smiled cheerily at Joe in a bid to save the situation. 

He smiled back interestedly. 

Backed into a corner, unwilling to lose face, you forced yourself to take a bite.

“Mmmh,” 

Joe watched you with what you could swear was a glimmer of amusement. 

“I wasn’t sure how long to cook them.” He confessed.

“Mmmh, mmh,” you continued as you began to chew. 

Shit. 

Pain shot through a back molar as you bit down hard on a tough bit. This wasn’t what sausages were meant to taste like.

“Yea? Is it good?” 

“Delicious,” you replied, covering your mouth, and swallowing with great difficulty. 

Free of your penance, you breathed a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived.

“Great, have another,” with the tongs Joe popped a few more onto a plate and held it out to you. “There’s plenty.” 

“Erm, no, thanks. I’m fine for now.” 

But he insisted. 

“Oh, come on, it’s my treat.”

Treat? This was torture. 

“Eat it.” Joe then said, a whole lot more stern than you were used of him. You weren't sure if you were at the stage of friendship for that tone of voice to be acceptable. 

You struggled to smile as you took the plate, wondering if there was a way to distract him so you could quickly hide the sausages in the shrubbery.  

“Great, thanks,” you stammered, at which point, Joe burst into laughter. A loud belly laugh, making him throw his head back first before bending over, followed by a loud snort as he took a breath. 

You were astonished.

“That face,” he doubled up, his hand slapping himself in the chest as he laughed. 

“That careful bite,” Joe mimicked you, and you tried not to smile, but it was impossible. 

“You bastard,” you muttered, mouth twitching. 

“Can you blame me? You threw a big vase of foul-smelling water at me!” 

You started giggling at the memory. 

“I guess that just about makes us even,” Joe held out his hand for you to high-five. 

Feebly you brought your hand up and then down against his. 

“For now,” you couldn’t help adding.   

—–

The Taglisted: @ghostinthebackofyourhead​ @kiwisa​ @jasminearondottir​ @josephquinned​ @cancankiki​ @sidthedollface2​ @dylanmunson​ @munsonsgirl71​ @alana4610​ @emmamooney​ @xomunson​ @sadbitchfangirl​ @jssmth5​ @nobody-000​ @thatonefan-girl​ @paola-carter​ @eddiemunsonfuxks​ @figmentofquinn​ @haylaansmi​  @thewondernanazombie​ @hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere​ @munsonmunster​ - add yourself  

[itslottiehere]

the one that could have been — (h.s)

hello beautiful people 🤍 welcome back! this is inspired by one on my favourite ‘friends’ episode — season 6 episodes 15 and 16 — named, as you can see from the title, “the one that could have been”. i had so much fun writing this, and i hope you all enjoy it. please, do let me know what you think! and if you have any requests, don’t be afraid of leaving them in my asks, i’ll look through them as soon as possible. if you wish to read something else from me, you can check the tag “my writing” on my blog (i still need to make a masterlist). thank you for reading! please like, reblog and let me know what you think! it really helps me a lot <3

tw: swearing, fluff, angst (?) a tiiiiny bit of smut (?)

word count: 5.1k

masterlist | let me know what you think here

—

he tried his best not to look so shocked, but the red on her cheeks told him he wasn’t doing a great job at hiding his surprise.

“stop looking at me like i’m some freak show! not everyone got to be the captain of the football team, someone had to be the loser in band.”

“you weren’t a loser, you were just quiet and-“

“harry, i was in band and i played the big ass drum in costume. it’s okay to say that i wasn’t the coolest person in school.”

“i thought you were cool.”

“you thought i was nice enough to let you copy my homework, which i was. but yeah, you must’ve found something in me if you stuck around even after high school.”

“hey! i talked to you because i thought you were nice, and cool and funny. and perhaps it had to do a little with the homework stuff, but mostly the other things!”

you threw him your napkin and laughed at how silly he was.

“but you can’t blame me for being a little surprised.”

and, here it was.

“i knew i shouldn’t have told you anything! now you think i’m weird and now everything between us is going to be weird and fuck, you’re a shit friend sometimes.”

“hey! i’m not! and i’m sorry for how i reacted, it’s just that i wasn’t expecting for this date to be your first... date. nothing wrong with that though! it’s perfectly fine!”

so, the thing is she was a virgin. she was 25 and hadn’t had a date yet, which isn’t something she was embarrassed about, she was waiting for the right person. but the look on harry’s face, who was staring at her with a “oh my god you have two heads” look, made her feel a little embarrassed. she knew who she was talking to, and having known him since high school meant that he told her all about his excapades, while she quietly listened to him and never said anything else. he was always so open about all his experiences, and he just figured she was more closed off, which was totally fine, and he wouldn’t pry informations about that part of her life: if she wanted to let him know, he would gladly listen, but whenever she is comfortable enough to do so.

though, if harry had to be totally honest, her not sharing that part of her life with him — until recently, that is — was maybe for the best: he doesn’t like it, but he can be of the jealous kind. and to think about anyone getting that close with his best friend, who was basically the best person walking on earth, made him feel something in his chest, something he couldn’t quite put a finger on.

“so, where’s this james guy taking you?”

“uhm, actually he’s coming over, i’m going to cook him dinner.”

“oh, that’s nice! your cooking is amazing, he’s going to love it.”

“yeah, i hope so.” she nibbled on her lip.

“hey, come here.” he held out his hands for her, waiting for her to take them. “if he’s not a total idiot, he will love it. and if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t deserve you. please, please don’t settle for someone who isn’t worthy of you. especially for something so important to you.”

she knew harry was a sweet person, who cared about her feelings, but it still shocked her a little bit, because he had such a serious look in his eyes.

“yeah, i know H, thank you for worrying.” she gave him a tight-lipped smile. “but now, leave.”

“excuse me? are you kicking me out?”

“yeah, i am.”

“but whyyy?” he whined like a grumpy child. all that was missing was him stomping his foot on the ground, to complete the picture.

“have you already forgotten that i have a date tonight for which i have to get ready?”

“yeah but i can still stay here a while, can’t i?” he was giving her those puppy eyes, that menace. she knew what he was doing.

“no! stop looking at me with those eyes.” she laughed. “i’m so sorry, i wish you could but i have to get dinner ready and get ready myself, and i feel like i’m already running behind.”

“alright, alright.. i’m leaving... all alone... by myself... kicked out by my own best friend... in the whole world...” he dragged every word, dragging his feet on the ground.

good god, he was such a man child at times.

“i promise i’ll text you if something weird happens and i feel uncomfortable. or else, you’ll be hearing from me tomorrow morning.” she really wished she was going to text him the following morning.

“alright angel, let me know if everything is okay. i’ll be over in a heartbeat if it isn’t. and remember: don’t overthink too much, try to enjoy your date.” he put his hands on her shoulder and looked into her eyes, because this was important and he wanted her to know she really had to enjoy tonight.

“i will, thanks H.” she ushered him towards the door, and opened it, basically shoving him out of her home.

“byeeeee. oh wait-“ he was almost out of the door. “please send me a pic of your outfit, i’m curious.” he said, raising his eyebrows in a teasing manner.

“yeah yeah, bye now.” she closed the door behind him, put her back against it, closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

now it was time to get everything ready.

she decided to prepare dinner and set the table first, before getting ready herself, so she went to the kitchen and started making her famous lasagna. harry went crazy for it, he always asked her to prepare it for his birthday dinner.

“it can count as my present! i won’t ask for anything else, i promise!”

she knew it was really good, it was her nonna’s recipe, so of course it was delicious. she grew up eating it, and whenever she cooked it, it was like she was brought back into that small kitchen, in the italian countryside, her nonna and nonno smiling at her because she had sauce all over her mouth. maybe it was stupid, but cooking this for someone held a level of intimacy that for now she only shared with harry. she told him the story about her grandparents and he listened to her, giving her his undivided attention. at the end, he just told her “i wish i could taste the one your nonna used to make.”

so, preparing this for james, already set the mood for tonight, how serious it was for her. she went out with him a couple times, just simple lunch dates — both cut short because he was called back to the hospital — but he was nice, albeit a bit boring at times, and she was kinda growing tired of not being intimate, so she thought he could be “the one”.

after putting the lasagna in the oven, she set up the table and went to take a shower, that kind of showers that consist on three different hair masks, face and body creams, serums and all that. after that, she went to check in on dinner, but it still wasn’t ready, so she went back to do her makeup and dress up. she put on a simple dress, her favourite one: it was of a dark red colour, with a bit of lace on the back, long enough to keep her comfortable but still not too long.

she snapped a picture for harry, just a simple mirror selfie with her hand up in a peace sign and sent it to him. it took him no more that 4 seconds to text her back.

“you look absolutely gorgeous. he’s going to love you. x”

she smiled, put her phone away and finally went to take the lasagna out of the oven, proceeded to put it on the counter to let it cool a little.

james should have been on his way now, so she decided to tidy up the last things. then, she heard the doorbell.

game time.

she was giddy, scared and over all a bit overwhelmed. this night meant so much to her, she just wanted it to be good.

she walked to the door and greeted him with a big smile.

“hello, you.” he said, smiling as well.

“hi!”

“this is for you.” he gave her a bottle of wine, one she liked a lot as well.

“oh my, that’s so nice of you, thank you. please, come in, make yourself at home.” she said, walking further into her flat, going to the kitchen to fetch a couple of glasses for the wine.

“this is a nice place, thank you for having me over.” he said from the living room, while taking a seat on her couch.

“oh thank you! and of course, it’s my pleasure.”

she walked back into the living area with two glasses, and set on the couch with james.

he was talking about some case he had at work, and she was half listening, half pretending to.

she could do this, couldn’t she? this was going well, they were drinking wine on her couch, making a bit of small talk, dinner was waiting for them in the kitchen... all was going to be fine.

her thoughts were interrupted when james took the glass from her hands and put it on the tiny table in front of her sofa.

what was he doing?

“you look beautiful tonight.”

oh, that was what he was doing.

“oh, uhm, thank you.” she smiled shyly. “you look handsome as well.”

“well, thank you.”

he inched closer, putting a hand on her thigh, the other stroking her cheek. she felt her breath hitch, how long has it been since she had been kissed? probably years. god.

his face came closer and closer, and when he closed his eyes, she did the same, preparing herself for what was going to happen next.

and when his lips touched hers, she felt... okay. nothing weird. no fireworks, no butterflies. it was a normal kiss.

she can’t say she wasn’t a bit disappointed. wasn’t this moment meant to have her feel like she was walking on air? head and body all floaty and tingly, stomach filled with butterflies? she always thought it was going to feel like this. she daydreamed every time she read about it in her books, how even the tiniest touch could bring up the biggest spark between two lovers.

but this wasn’t it.

this was okay, really, it was a good kiss. he was touching her not too roughly, and it wasn’t making her uncomfortable. it was just not what she thought it was going to be like.

“maybe those were all just fantasies, maybe the real thing is supposed to feel like this.” she thought. so she decided to suck it up, and just let herself enjoy this moment.

she had one of her hands on his chest, the other around his neck, playing with his hair.

and when she heard a small moan from him, she thought she was doing a good job. he was enjoying it!

but soon, it got her to overthink about how she didn’t make any noises: was she supposed to? was he expecting them? was she weird for not making any?

her interior freak out was cut short by a phone ringing.

“shit.” james said, disconnecting their lips.

oh no, not again. it’s the third time this has happened; although, the other times it happened she didn’t really care all that much, because their lunch was almost over, so it wasn’t really cut all that short.

he checked his phone and sighed.

“i’m sorry, i have to take this.”

“yeah, yeah, of course.”

he gave her a tight-lipped smile, apologised again, and got up to answer the call.

she sighed and slouched on the couch. maybe it was a friend just wanting to say hi? maybe they could still have dinner and a nice night.

“i’m sorry, i really am, but i have to go back to the hospital, they need me.”

of course not.

“oh.” she stood up, straightening her dress and looking down. she was disappointed of course, but it wasn’t his fault, wasn’t it? the hospital needed him so he had to go.

“i’m sorry, maybe i can get off early and-“

“oh no, don’t worry! do what you have to do, don’t worry about me.”

“we’ll do this another time, yeah?”

“yeah, of course. let me walk you to the door.”

after bidding goodbye, she closed the door.

“yeah, this night blows.”

—

she decided to put some more comfortable clothes on, and also took her makeup off, so she could enjoy her — now, solo — dinner.

there was going to be so much leftovers, she thought. so, why not ask someone if they wanted some?

—

harry was at home, fresh out of the shower, thinking about what to do for dinner. having cereal and milk again didn’t sound too appealing.

when he heard a ding from his phone, he thought it was from the guys, asking him to go out.

but when he heard a second and then a third ding, he actually went to check who the texts were from.

and when he saw his best friend’s name pop up, his heart skipped a beat. she said she would’ve texted him only if something bad was happening, so what happened?

“hey, date finished early. pretty bummed tbh.”

“did you already have dinner?”

“because i have leftovers. want to keep me company?”

as if he could ever say no, both to her and to her home cooked meals.

“yeah of course! i’m on my way. x”

he put on the first sweatshirt he found, and he was out the door.

—

when the doorbell rang, she just answered with a loud “it’s open”.

harry let himself in, took off his shoes and looked around to see where she was. when he saw her in the kitchen, his heart acted all weird.

he couldn’t understand if it was from seeing her in sweats and his old fleetwood mac shirt, feeling warm at the sight of her wearing his clothes, or if it was by seeing that she wasn’t in the dress she was wearing in the picture he received before, meaning that her date didn’t go as planned, which made him a bit sad. he doesn’t know much about this james, but from what she’d told him he seemed like a nice guy. so why didn’t the date go through?

“hi, angel.”

“hey.” she answered, with a somber tone.

“is everything okay?”

“are you ready to eat? i made lasagna.”

that struck harry. she made her date one of her (and his) favourite home cooked meals, he knew how much it meant to her.

“yeah, of course. but you still have to answer my question.”

“can we eat first? then we can talk about how miserable my love life is.”

he chucked a bit. “of course, let me help you with the plates.”

they ate almost in silence, the only sounds you could hear were harry’s praises about her cooking.

“angel, you should be a chef.”

“if i pay you, can you cook me meals for dinner everyday? i’m tired of having milk and cereal five days a week.”

“harry, you can’t have milk and cereal for dinner everyday!”

“i know! that’s why i’m asking you this!”

after they finished eating, she took the plates to the sink, and he followed her.

she started washing their plates, when harry cleared his throat.

“what?”

“what are you not telling me?”

she sighed. “the date was cut short. james was called by the hospital, and he had to leave, exactly like the two times before tonight.”

“oh.” he didn’t know what to say.

“yeah.”

“i’m sorry.”

“it’s okay, it wasn’t meant to be, i guess.”

“you really liked him, huh?” he said, and why was it so hard for him to get these words out of his mouth?

“i mean, i wasn’t in love with the guy, he was okay. i don’t know, we kissed for a bit, i didn’t feel anything, and now that i think about it i probably wouldn’t even have gone all the way.” she said all in one breath.

harry listened closely to what she said, and he had one single thought.

“can i just ask you something?”

“yeah, sure, go for it.”

“why haven’t you ever asked me?”

she dropped the plate she was drying in the sink. did she heard right?

“uh- uhm, what?”

“why haven’t you asked me to help you out with.. that?”

she couldn’t bear how weird the situation was. so, naturally, she laughed it off.

“you’re so funny H, always said you should be a comedian.” she dried off her hands and made her way to the living room.

Harry followed her, gently grabbing her wrist to stop her from running away, putting his chest to her back.

“i’m not kidding. i’m genuinely asking you why, in over 10 years of being best friends, you’ve never asked me.” his hands started travelling from her wrist to her waist.

“isn’t it obvious? you’ve just said it: we’re best friends. doing that would make everything weird and complicated, and i don’t want that.”

“are you sure that that’s it?”

“yeah, of course it is.”

“angel, i can’t even see your face right now and i know you’re lying: you’re a shit liar, you know that. and i’d like to think that i know my best friend a little too well to not know when they’re lying.”

she huffed, she hated that she couldn’t lie to him, ever. but she hated more that she had to come clean now, so she tried convincing him one last time that there was nothing more.

“i’m not lying. that’s the only reason.”

he sighed, and turned her around.

“now look me in the eyes, and say that.”

the fucker. he knew for a fact that she wasn’t able to lie, especially if she looked in the eyes of the person she was trying to lie to.

“alright, fuck, you win. it’s not the only reason.”

“and do you mind telling me what is it?”

she took a deep breath, she really doesn’t want to, because she knows for a fact it’s going to make her sound like an idiot.

“it’s just.. i know that you don’t like me that way, and that you never did, back in high school or college. i’m not your type and that’s fine! i don’t blame you for it, everyone can have a preference.”

he was stunned. she took his silence as a way to tell her to go on.

“and so, i’ve never asked you any “help” because of that. i didn’t want to put you in an uncomfortable position, of having to tell me the ‘no’ i already knew was coming, and ruining our friendship. never in a million years i would want that, so i never did.”

she released a breath, and looked up at him.

he was looking at her with wide eyes, that held a certain softness.

“and now i’ve made it weird all the same, fucking hell, i told you i wasn’t supposed to-“

“no angel, no, it’s okay. i just.. i don’t understand. have i made you feel ugly? is that it?”

“no H, no, it’s just that i saw the girls you went out with and we aren’t the same. they were gorgeous, like drop dead gorgeous, and so sweet and just incredible. some were even wayyyy out of your league, but you charmed them all the same.” she laughed, and it made him laugh as well.

“heyyy, that’s rude.” he whined, making her roll her eyes.

“but i am sorry, if i ever made you feel this way. i‘ve never wanted to. i think you’re beautiful, breathtakingly so.”

“oh stop it, that’s not true.” she tried to leave his grasp, but it only tightened on her waist.

“no, i’m serious. i think you are probably the most beautiful person i know, and not just on the outside. you’re a beautiful person all over, you look great and your soul is beautiful. you’re sweet and caring and just amazing, and i can’t believe you think i didn’t think this about you.”

she looked up at him and couldn’t believe how sweet he was being. was he saying all this out of pity?

“i can see the wheels turning in your head, what are you thinking about?”

“i was just thinking that maybe you’re being so sweet out of pity. because my night didn’t go the way it was supposed to.”

he scoffed. “you’re just so dense sometimes. i’m telling you this because i really do think those things. why can’t you just accept that?”

“uhm, okay then.. thank you H, for saying all of this.”

“you’re welcome, angel. now... would you want to?”

“what?”

“would you want me to kiss you?”

what the actual hell was happening. was he actually asking her this? her best friend of ten years was asking her if he could kiss her. harry. her harry. her best friend harry. no way.

“we don’t have to, angel. just... if you want, i could kiss you and we can see if it feels good for you, and if you feel comfortable with that. i just want to make you feel good, and i hope you know you’re safe with me. i don’t expect anything to happen, nothing more than a kiss, if you even want that.”

“uhm. i-“ she was afraid of what was going to happen to them, but she so wanted to be selfish. just this one time. one kiss, that’s it.

“i think i’d like that. i feel safe with you.”

“yeah? you do?” he looked down at her, and a sheepish smile spread across his face.

“yeah, i really do. but do you?”

he could swear his heart was about to jump out of his chest. how cute was she? he was the one who proposed the whole ordeal, but she still wanted to make sure he felt comfortable.

“of course angel, it’s you. i always feel safe with you.”

they couldn’t lie to themselves, they both thought about this moment from time to time. 

the first time harry wanted to kiss her was at their junior prom, when he saw her in that long, beautiful dress, but didn’t because she had a date — and so did he —, especially when he saw she was having so much fun with aaron (her date), dancing around the school gym and laughing, and he thought he wanted to be the one who made her laugh like this forever. but he was late, and aaron already filled that position. so he made his peace with it, and spent prom night with his date, a lovely girl of course, but she wasn’t her.

and the first time she really, really wanted to kiss him was during a football game. it was their first year of college, and she was busy with finals, but harry begged her to come because he was the quarterback and promised her his team would win if she was there. so, when his team scored the winning touchdown, before even celebrating with his teammates, he looked for her in the bleachers and when he found her he had the biggest smile on his face, running towards her shouting “it’s because of you! it’s you!”. she never wanted to kiss someone that badly ever in her life. thankfully, when she came down from the high of his victory, she just hugged him tight, while he picked her up and spun her around. no kiss.

but now, how could she turn him down? how can she not kiss those lips? they seems so soft, like soft pink pillows.

harry couldn’t wait for it anymore. ever since he was a teen, he asked himself what it’d feel like kissing her, tasting her lips. he got close to do that too many drunken nights, but never did because either both of them were intoxicated or because he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

but now? they were both trembling with anticipation. so, he put his hands on her face, and slightly turned it upwards, looking deep into her eyes.

“are you sure?”

“yes, i am.”

“positive?”

“yes.”

“swear on your mum?”

“would you kiss me already?”

he didn’t have to be asked twice. he leaned in and softly touched her lips. the kiss started slow, like they wanted to test the water first, make sure nothing felt wrong.

‘wrong’ was the last word she would use to describe this kiss.

this is what a kiss should feel like: all the butterflies she didn’t feel before with james, here they were, batting their wings away in her stomach, making her feel like she could fly away.

harry’s hands travelled down her waist, one towards her bottom, and he broke the kiss for just a second.

“is this okay?” he asked.

she nodded, but clearly that wasn’t enough for harry.

“angel, i need words. is me touching you okay?”

“yes, harry, please.”

hearing her begging him made him groan in pleasure. he wanted to stay in this moment till the end of time.

he left his hands wandering on her waist, and a little lower, and brought his lips to hers once again, this time more purposefully. he licked her bottom lip, silently asking her to open up for him, and she happily obliged. her hands travelled up his shoulder, playing with the hair on the nape of his neck, tugging lightly on the curls, making harry moan a bit.

and fuck, was it hot to hear.

she kept playing with his hair when harry pulled his lips from hers, a small whimper leaving her mouth.

she fucking whimpered. he was going to heaven, that was the only explanation.

he brought his lips on her neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses and sucking here and there, making her unconsciously moan softly at his actions.

“does this feel nice, angel?”

“yeah.” she said in a breathy voice.

he could not get enough of her.

his lips reluctantly left her neck and he decided to sit on the couch, looking up at her.

he didn’t even have to say anything, because she gladly climbed on top of him, straddling him, and connecting their lips once again.

she wasn’t sure if a kiss ever felt like this. she didn’t know if it was because of how safe she felt with harry, or if he was just really good at kissing, but never in her life has she been kissed like this. it felt too good to be true.

his hands travelled to her hips, holding and squeezing her love handles, which made her a little uncomfortable, and she didn’t know if she made a sound or if harry could just read her mind, but he stopped kissing her.

“is everything okay?”

“yeah, yeah, everything’s good.” she went in to kiss him again, but he turned his head.

“you have to be honest with me. is it the position? does it weird you out?”

“no, no H, the position is great, it’s just... your hands squeezed my hips, and i don’t feel very comfortable with that, because i don’t like how squishy they are. it makes me a bit self conscious. i’m sorry.”

“hey, no need to apologise. if anything, i’m sorry. but angel, just know that there’s nothing wrong with them, i fucking love them. but i won’t squeeze them anymore now, alright? i want you to feel good and safe.”

“yes, thank you.”

he started kissing her again, softly at first but it soon became more heated, tongues touching and hands roaming over each other’s bodies; soft moans and the wet sounds of their lips connecting were all one could hear.

unconsciously, she started grinding her hips on him, making a deeper moan leave his mouth.

“angel, fuck.”

“i’m sorry, did i do something?”

“no no, fuck, it felt great. but are you sure?”

she didn’t answer him this time, she just kept kissing him and grinding on him, feeling him buck his hips to match her movements. she hoped this was enough of an answer for him.

“dear god, why didn’t we do this before?”

she let out a breathy laugh. “i was thinking the same thing.”

“what are you doing to me, angel?” she felt his hand on her hair, brushing them out of her face. she felt the coldness of his rings on her cheek, it all felt so real. almost, too real.

“mmh...“

“angel.” her pet name sounded a bit more distant, and she felt a stronger hand on her shoulder.

“angel.” the voice was getting closer, she thought. but how could it be closer if she was kissing the source of that voice right now?

“angel, wake up.” wake up?

she opened her eyes and the soft light from the tv burned her sleepy eyes. through her blurry vision, she could make out a figure, a curly headed man with green eyes was looking at her, smiling softly.

“hey angel, welcome back to planet earth.” he chuckled. “i woke you up because one of your favourite episodes of friends is coming up.”

“uh, what?” she was still a bit confused from her sleeping state. when did she fall asleep?

“yeah, season 6, episode 15? “the one that could have been”, i think that’s what it’s called, it’s one of your favourites. i would’ve let you sleep but i know you like it.”

oh.

oh.

“thank you, H. it’s one of my favourites, indeed.”

“no problem, angel. so, did you have a nice dream?”

boy, did she.

“yeah, it was good, i think, i can’t remember it right now.”

“mmh, i’ll try to believe that.” he looked at her as if he knew what she was just dreaming about. oh my god, she didn’t say anything out loud, did she? the embarrassment.

“so, where’s this james guy taking you?”

oh fuck.

–

so here it is!! i hope you all enjoyed it <3 love yaaaaaa

[burning-the-write-oil]

Not Going Anywhere

Summary: A short blurb where Eddie lives (like he should've) and is his sweet, dorky self.

Characters: Eddie Munson/F!Reader

Words: 814

Rating: T

Warnings: Some mature language, brief references to wounds, brief references to anxiety

A/N:  So I've fallen hard and very quickly for Eddie Munson and I've written a short blurb featuring him. I haven't written in a while and this isn't thoroughly edited, so please be gentle! If you have any requests for him, feel free to send them my way and I’ll try to get to them soon!

Masterlist

You burst through the doors of the hospital that led to the hospitalized patients, frantically looking around. They found Eddie. At least that’s what Dustin had told you frantically over the phone, after rattling off that he was headed to the hospital. That was all you knew and that was enough for you at that moment after not having known what had happened to him after everything that had been happening in The Upside Down and Hawkins. You’d driven to the hospital way too fast to be considered safe, your mind running rampant about what condition he was in, what happened, how he was doing. The list was never-ending.

After finally managing to get a direct answer as to what room Eddie was in, you practically ran down the hallway, eyes quickly scanning the room numbers. Spotting Dustin outside of one of the rooms, you felt your stomach drop as you walked over to him. You’d found him but you’d also be finding out the extent of what happened.

You could feel the anxiety tighten in your chest, all sense of reason flying straight out of your head as you started rambling.

“Tell me he’s alive, please. He needs to be alive. I swear to god if he did anything stupid and-”

“Y/N, hold on-”

“No, he needs to be okay, Dustin! I need him. I need him with me and I swear to god I’ll fucking murder whoever-”

You’re interrupted by a voice calling out of the room you were both standing outside of.

“Hey Henderson, do me a favor and make sure my girl doesn’t get herself arrested for murder? Kinda wanna spend some time with her.”

Your heart stopped and you looked to Dustin who was shaking his head with a small grin, “I was trying to tell you.”

That was all you heard before you peeked around the door, your eyes landing on the man you’ve been hoping was still here. And who seemed very much still alive. Though you weren’t sure if you were actually awake or not.

“Told you I’d come back.” He gave you a wink and a small grin as you rushed over to him, carefully placing your arms around his shoulders in a gentle hug.

“You’re here, right?” You mumbled, burying your face in his neck as you felt tears start to burn at the back of your eyes.

“I’m here, sweetheart. Can’t get rid of me that easily. ‘Whole bad penny thing, always keep coming back whether you like it or not.”

You laughed weakly, pressing a kiss to his cheek before unwrapping your arms and taking a look at him. Bandages covered most of his abdomen and you could see numerous wounds all over him. It made that tight feeling in your chest come back thinking about what could have happened to him.

“You’re such a freaking idiot, I swear…” You shook your head, wiping at the tears that were now sliding down your cheeks.

Eddie gave you a sympathetic smile, gently taking your hand in his.

“Well, I’m pretty sure we both know you’re not with me for my smarts. What was it again? My big d-” You bumped his arm playfully to interrupt him, shaking your head with a small smile.

That was Eddie. Lying in a hospital bed, torn to bits, but still trying to make you smile and feel better.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you didn’t come back.” You mumbled, glancing down at your hand in his, thumb rubbing over one of the silver rings on his fingers. “You don’t need to think about that. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere, baby. Told myself I had to come back and bother you.” He smiled, shifting to lay more comfortably and wincing in the process.

You grimaced at his pained response, immediately helping move the pillows behind his head.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” You offered, watching as the pain started to slowly dissipate.

“You can lay right here and give me some of those amazing kisses.” He looks up at you with those puppy dog eyes that he knows will get you to do almost anything.

You smile, carefully climbing onto the bed to sit next to him. You lean over, gently pressing your lips to his and you feel him hum contently, brushing his fingers along your wrist.

“Hey, guys!” You hear whispered from outside of the room.

You both pull back, looking over to the doorway in amusement.

“It’s safe Dustin, you can come in.” You call with a laugh, Eddie grinning as Dustin walks in with a bag of chips.

“Just wanted to make sure you guys were done making out.” He shrugs, taking a seat near the bedside.

You shake your head with a smile, resting your head on Eddie’s shoulder. Just glad he was here.

[eddysocs]

Ambiguous Dialogue Prompts

This just means these prompts can be used in angsty, fluffy and/or smutty context and don’t just fit one category. You may mix and match these prompts with ones on the same or different prompt lists you find on my blog when making requests. Context for the prompt(s) is always welcomed and encouraged, but not required.

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

"Let's kiss and see where it takes us."

"I hate us sometimes."

"Why are you wearing my skirt?"

"It's impossible to get rid of me."

"Sometimes, I don't know why I put up with you."

"Please tell me this is not why you woke me up."

"High heels do look good on you."

"I prefer not to be disturbed."

"Where did you get the flowers from?"

"You're so easily distracted."

"You can't handle my beauty."

"This fits perfectly."

"Stay there. I'm on my way."

"You're a legend, man!"

"Not our brightest idea."

"Do I need to fucking spell it out for you?"

"Take that stupid thing off so I can see you."

"Have you ever shot a gun before?" "Well, I can show you how."

"You're so beautiful. and I wish vou'd see that."

"There will be better days, and I will be here for all of them."

"I don't like seeing you in pain."

"I'm not just doing it for you. It's much more fun for me if you're not in pain."

"Scared, darling? I don't bite, I promise"

"However many years we have left, I want to spend them all with you."

"The reality is even better than my dreams."

"You're so tense, do you want me to help you relax?"

"Those legs of yours look like they go on forever."

"Is that a blush I see?"

"Just breathe, sweetheart."

"Still hard at work?"

"I'd love to see how you get out of this one."

"I can see how much you want to kiss me."

"You flirt in the most awkward situations." "You know you love it."

"You know I love a challenge."

"Your heart is beating too fast to be close to someone you don't care about."

"I don't wanna hurt you, baby." "You won’t. You can’t. I trust you."

"I wish you would just let me have you..."

"You could rip my heart from my chest, and I'd still adore you."

"All I want is you. All I've ever wanted was you."

"I hope you understand how far I'm willing to go for you, how many rules I'm willing to break for you."

"I love getting to know you like this."

"I want you in all the ways you'll let me have you."

"You're really messing with my head here."

"Look in the mirror and just try and tell me you don’t see how gorgeous you are. You’re so beautiful and I wish you saw that."

"You do know I have a first name?"

"Could you be any more of a condescending ass?"

"Do you really regard this touching of the lips as pleasurable?"

"Am I behaving incorrectly?"

"This actually makes sense to you?"

"Is your phone broken? You couldn't text me this?"

"Stay where you are. I got it."

"You're being very needy today with your touches."

"I’ll take any excuse just to be close to you."

"I feel like you're obsessed with touching me."

"A date? You haven't been on a date in ages. Why start again now?"

"I want to be more than just a duty to you."

"A naive little thing, aren't you?"

"What do we have here?"

"Will you help me out of this?"

"Sorry for staring. I just can't stop looking at you."

"C'mere, sweetheart."

"I can’t stand you." "Then sit."

"Quite the confession, I must say."

"Alright, you lost. Pay up, love."

"Any excuse to get me to undress, huh?"

"I’m in love with you, you idiot!"

"People will talk."

"Of course I came to save you."

"When will you learn to knock?"

"Kisses don’t fix everything."

"I see you still have my (clothing item)."

"Have you ever thought of starting a family?"

"Don’t tell me you didn’t come up with a plan B."

"Breaking and entering, how romantic."

"I’m begging you two to get a room."

"Face it, (pet name), you need me."

"Don’t look so smug. It was one kiss."

"Make me, pretty boy."

"We should probably say goodnight."

"Stop using your height against me."

"I think he/she likes the sound of your voice."

"I swear to god if you ever do that again, I’m never going to kiss you again." "Ever?"

"That's my baby in there!"

"Your heart is beating so fast right now."

"Come on, you know we’d have beautiful children."

“Can you ever forgive me?” “I forgave you the second you walked through the door.”

"You’re just different. In a good way."

"There are rumors about us." "I know. I spread them."

“I like it when you tell me what to do.”

"Ah, so you aren’t heartless after all."

"You treat all your ladies like this?"

"Well, how do I look?"

"You don’t think I know that you’re only here because he/she sent you?"

"You okay?" "Couldn’t be better. Just a little hot— is anyone else hot?”

"What do I have to do to motivate you?"

"Please, please, tell me you’re not trying to play matchmaker again."

"You’ve been wearing the same clothes for a week. Come on, let’s get you changed."

“I can’t believe you made me tear up over you, you asshole.”

"Could we try?"

"That’s my girl/boy."

[solarisrasa]

Tea and Other Remedies

Part 1 of Tealeaves for Heart and Home: A Human!Malec A/B/O series about re-finding lost loves and learning to build a family anew.

 Warnings for mild sexual content, MPreg(non-graphic) and general T+ rating.

 Read here on Ao3

“How are you even real?”

 Magnus laughs, pushing himself to a sitting position and biting back a moan as the move makes the alpha’s knot shift. Under his splayed fingers Alexander shivers.

 “Do you ask all the omega’s you charm into your bed?” He keeps his tone teasing, pushing back the unease his own question brings.

 Alec’s hazel eyes go so soft Magnus swears they must be made of honey, like the feeling that pours over him as the man answers, “I guess I must, since it’s only been you.”

 Magnus blinks, “I’m the only-?”

 Alexander’s hands stroke up his sides and he can’t help but sigh at the press of warm fingers and the way that the alpha rubs his wrists over Magnus’ collar bones.

 “Yes. I would’ve done this differently,      properly    if I’d been able to but I’m due back in New York the day after tomorrow and Magnus, when I saw you I was already a goner,” he licks his lips and Magnus makes a pleased noise, preening a little, “then I got close enough to smell you and,      fuck,    it was like everything I could ever need was right in front of me. I know I probably seemed like a total idiot and I don’t know why you agreed to come to my room but you have to know, this isn’t-I don’t usually…”

 Magnus presses a finger to Alec’s mouth even as he smiles, “Me too.”

 “Yeah?”

 There’s wonder in Alec’s eyes and Magnus can’t, won’t, let himself regret this even if Alexander leaves and never returns. He’s never felt as at home as he does right now, surrounded by the tangle of their scents and still joined to what might be the kindest alpha he’s ever met.

 God, he doesn’t even know Alec’s last name.

 “Yeah. Yes.”

 Alexander grins and tugs him down into another kiss.

 -

 Magnus stares.

     Pregnant.  

 He wants to feel happy, he always thought he would at least get to be excited about this, even if the alpha wasn’t-

 He swallows, hard. Asmodeus will be here soon, ready to pick his wayward son up and whisk him back to the house that he would prefer Magnus be locked inside. Magnus has always loved sneaking out, spending time admiring the place he comes from, that his mother came from.

 Asmodeus has no love for Jakarta. The city is a stepping stone for him, a place he can leave Magnus while he travels with some certainty his son will still be there when he comes back. He demands only two things from Magnus; complete obedience and      chastity.  

 The first Magnus plays at when his father is around, takes delight in pushing and accepts the pain when he goes too far. Asmodeus is excellent at pain. The second he scoffed at, slept with beta’s and sometimes even another omega. Until Alexander.

 Even now, Ragnor’s sink full of positive tests, he can’t regret his time with the alpha, only that he doesn’t know how to find him again.

 “Magnus?”

 Ragnor’s exasperated tone tells him he’s been ignoring his beta friend for a while.

 “Hmm?”

 “I asked what you were going to do, you know what Asmodeus will choose for you. You cannot be a useful pawn for him if he cannot claim you are untouched.”

 Magnus knows. He      knows.    He’s lived this life, under his father’s thumb, without much complaint, resigned to his fate and ready to let himself be unhappy in life. He looks down at his body that now houses the start of another.

 Maybe if it had been anyone else Magnus could let his father do it, take the tiny beginnings of what will become a child, but...Magnus thinks of Alexander’s soft smile, of how complacent he’s been, of holding a baby that was created with, well, affection at least.

 “You once offered me a way to run.” Magnus speaks slowly and Ragnor sighs.

 “You were too stubborn then.”

 Magnus frowns and Ragnor rolls his eyes, “Of course I still have one. I thought I was a fool for holding out hope but it appears my foolishness paid off. I’m coming with you. Not right away, I’ll need to stay and pretend obliviousness, but I will follow soon enough.”

 Outside, Jakarta waits for him to say a frantic goodbye.

 -

 Alec Lightwood touches a wall display, coffee in hand, as he checks over the events schedule for the day. Lightwood&Co is thriving under his leadership and he can’t help but smile a little as he sees how many of their conference spaces are in use for the day.

 Most of it is routine check ins with various departments but two meetings require his personal attention. The first is for the launch of a service he’s been pushing for since-

 He closes his eyes for a moment. Six years and the grief still sweeps over him when he least expects it, accompanied by the ghost of laughing eyes and the best scent he’s ever had the privilege of pressing his mouth to.

 Still, that was the impetus behind      Found,    a service hosted by Lightwood&Co aimed at helping those who may have been pulled away from family, potential mates, or friends reconnect. Alec has long since accepted he will never see Magnus again, but maybe he can help someone else.

 The second meeting he is looking forward to. It’s Jace and Izzy and their pet project. Alec wants to allocate a segment of the company's funds to support local businesses and community projects and Izzy and Jace are supposed to present their top candidates. It’s been pushed back to late afternoon since they had found a last minute add in.

 Alec takes a drink of his coffee and closes his eyes, sends out the same hope he does every morning, that Magnus is happy and safe, wherever he is. That he is loved like he deserves.

 -

 “This the place?” Jace looks up at the sign, taking in the smell that permeates even the small patio.      Pandemonium: Teas and Other Remedies     proclaims that it has something for everyone and every ailment within; unlike similar stores Jace and Izzy have reason to believe it actually delivers on the promise.

 “Smells like it.” Izzy is smiling and her shoulders are relaxed and Jace can’t blame her.

 The air smells wonderful, like an omega’s calming pheromones are gently suffusing it. Actually, exactly like an omega. It smells like Clary. He frowns a little because he knows his mate isn’t here, her schedule has been crazier than his lately and he usually finds her painting in a frenzy when he gets home.

 “Guess that part was right.” Jace laughs a little and Izzy gives him a wink.

 “I’m betting you don’t smell a      very    happy Simon like I do, so yes.”

 In their search for places in the city doing good      Pandemonium    had almost been missed but Izzy’s friend Meliorn swore by the place after a rough patch with one of his alpha’s. A little poking and Jace had found plenty of people, of all secondary-genders, ready to sing the little shop’s praises.

 From the sounds of it the calming scent was just the first of many unique things it could offer, ranging from a delicious cup of tea to a place to sleep and safe passage if you needed to run from something. It had sounded too perfect.

 Izzy took another deep breath and Jace rolled his eyes, Simon had been out of town with Raphael for      one    day and Izzy was acting like they’d been apart for weeks.

 “What do you think Alec would smell?” Jace muses, wondering about unmated people.

 Izzy makes a soft sound of distress and the calm smell of Clary is disrupted by the sharpening of her alpha scent beside him.

 Jace winces.

 “We’ll have to ask how it might affect him before we bring him here. If it could mimic      that    he’ll need something to block it.”

 Jaces has to swallow his own sound then. They both love Alec and as much as Jace wishes the little shop might have something that offers their brother the comfort others have found within, he knows it won’t.

 They need to go inside so they can start the interview and be on time for their meeting with Alec later. Alec who will never know the soul-deep calm that can be found curled with his mate at the end of a long day, who took only one ill-fated vacation and who Jace can always count on to still be working when he calls at three am to demand a ride home from a date night with Clary that was a little too liquid for them both.

 Jace finds himself hoping they will find something here that might help. At the very least it would be nice to smell      Alec    again and not the strange artificial scent of rut-blockers that overlap his natural scent. Most adults don’t take them, or at least not for years at a time, but Alec had gone through just one rut after Indonesia and picked up a prescription for them without explanation.

 Izzy tugs the door open, raising an eyebrow at him, “Ready?”

 Jace nods, “Duh.”

 They step into a cozy tea shop, shelves filled with different tins of teas and accessories line one wall, plants in a riot of green against another and he can see the shop extends past the visible seating area, no doubt where more eclectic goods are kept.

 The calming scents are very muted in here with the aroma of different teas layered over them. It should be too much, but, somehow it just makes the warm lighting more welcoming. The gold and blue chairs are scattered around red and brown tables and Jace nudges Izzy to claim one in the sunlight while he heads to the small counter tucked off to the side.

 There’s a singing bowl instead of a bell for service and a neat stack of menus offering simple lunch food. A display of brochures about community services and how to reach out for help in abusive or dangerous situations sits well stocked just beside them.

 Jace examines the bowl with a pinch in his eyebrows before reading the little placard beside it.

     If you cannot make the bowl sing, your voice will do just as well.  

 “Uh, Hello?” Jace calls out, shifting nervously.

 “Be right there!” A warm voice replies and a moment later an omega appears, pushing a soft curtain aside and smiling brightly.

 He’s lovely, brown eyes lined in kohl, hair carefully spiked with glitter catching in the light scattered over his cheeks. His clothes are obviously carefully picked, pants that fit him      very    well and a loose shirt the same gold as the chair Izzy jolts out of.

 The chair hits the ground at the same time that Jace gasps.

 “Jace!”

 “It’s him.      Oh fuck.”  

 “Excuse me?” The omega says, eyebrows raised and scent twisting from welcome to warning.

 “Sorry! Don’t go anywhere,      holy shit,    do not go anywhere.” Jace shouts, stumbling toward Izzy as they both bee line for the door, not noticing the jacket they’ve left at the table in their rush.

 They have to get Alec right      now.  

     -  

 “Mr. Lightwood, your siblings just vaulted through my security station. Jace was screaming your name. Thought you’d like to know.”   Andrew’s voice is almost amused under his perpetual exasperation and Alec seriously considers giving the man hazard pay for any day Izzy and Jace work.

 “Thank you Underhill. I will remind them      why    we have security.”

 “I would appreciate it. Have a nice day Mr. Lightwood.”  

 The call disconnects and Alec makes a note on the form he was reviewing, aware his day is about to be disrupted. Something must be up with the last minute place they had gone to review.

 Sure enough Izzy and Jace burst through his door minutes later, both panting hard.

 “Did you sprint up eight flights?” He’s almost impressed. He looks at Izzy’s shoes and whistles, alright, he is impressed.

 “Had to-elevators.” Izzy swallows, “too slow.      Wow.”  

 She presses a hand to her side and sucks in several harsh breaths as Alec leans back and waits. Jace recovers a little better but the pause gives Alec time to pick through their scents. Alpha excitement, anticipation, nervousness, all underlined by something he’d be hard pressed to place if they weren’t his siblings: wild hope.

 “You need to come,” Jace grabs his wrist and yanks him hard enough to pull him to his feet, “with us. Right now.”

 “I need to finish working.” Alec deadpans, pulling his arm free. Jace is physically stronger but if Alec needs to he will always be the stronger alpha, not that he wants to push the issue to that point.

 “Now! Alec, please.” Izzy’s scent goes desperate and determined and Alec’s nostrils flare. The last time she smelled like that she was telling Alec she’d mated Simon and she’d been under the impression that Alec hated her omega. He’d had to tell her how hard it was to be around someone like Simon who smelled so happy and she’d forced him to go to a therapist.

 “I can’t. I-”

 “Alec. Please. You don’t want to let this chance go.” Jace’s two-toned gaze is burning and Alec knows the edge of the scent curling off his brother, remembers it bitter on his tongue when he’d cried in Jace’s arms after his second trip to Jakarta.

 He nods and lets them lead him out of the building. They race down streets, running faster than trying to take a cab apparently and Alec can smell that both of them are tapped into their instincts enough that crowds are clearing for them.

 They come to a stop outside      Pandemonium    and Alec’s knees almost give out because he can smell something under the generic calming scent that the store seems to be pumping into the street. That faint smell brings tears to his eyes and he shudders.

 Jace is holding the door open with wide eyes and Izzy is already striding to the counter. Alec steadies himself and walks past his brother, gaze sweeping over the shop in an attempt to determine why his siblings are freaking out.

 Behind him he can hear Jace turning the thumb-lock on the door. He frowns, tensing to turn and remind Jace that this is      not    his place when the curtain behind the counter where Izzy is playing a singing bowl moves.

 Even across the room the scent that slams into him shatters him. Alec’s knees hit the wooden floor and he can feel tears pouring over his cheeks as he looks into shocked brown eyes.

 “      Magnus.”  

 The omega steps back, a hand pressing tightly to his mouth and his gaze darts between the three alpha’s in his shop.

 Alec’s never seen anything more beautiful as Magnus lowers his hand and slowly walks around the counter, gaze locked on where he kneels crying.

 Magnus looks every bit the dream he was when Alec first saw him under the red lights of a bar half a world away. He’s older, sure, with facial hair and the makeup is new but it looks      so    good. Alec can’t get air, can’t force himself to look for the mating mark he is almost certain Magnus bears by now.

 “Alec? My Alexander?” Magnus’ voice is a blessing though he sounds fragile, like Alec could break him if he speaks too loud. He savors the words anyway, the easy claim in them and he lets himself hope.

 Jace and Izzy have shuffled back, giving them space, and he is so grateful as he nods to Magnus.

 “Yeah.” He smiles, a wobbly, wet thing, “Yes Magnus.”

 The omega crashes into him with a desperate sob and Alec clings to him tightly as he half kneels, half collapses. They cling tight together on the wooden floor and Alec buries his face in Magnus’ neck, the scent of him soothing him to the core of his aching soul.

 -

 Magnus had come out of his back room a bit warily, leaving Max coloring happily. After the strange encounter with the blonde and his striking counterpart Magnus was worried. The blonde had recognized him somehow and though Ragnor had sworn Asmodeus was dead he couldn’t stop the swell of fear when the singing bowl had played.

 The sight of Alexander in a dark suit that really just highlighted how well he’d filled out had shocked him so badly he’d had to cover his mouth not to cry out. Watching Alec fall to his knees, hearing his voice again, Magnus had been helpless not to end up here.

 He knows he needs to pull away, compose himself and start piecing together why Alec is here, why the two alpha’s with him knew who Magnus was. He knows but he can’t make himself let go where he clings to the alpha who’d carried Magnus’ heart away years ago.

 Alec doesn’t smell right, something synthetic coloring his scent, but it’s the closest thing Magnus has so it’s perfect. He squeezes his eyes closed and wills himself to stop crying. For all he knows Alec was just overwhelmed by the sight of him after so long, it’s not a guarantee that Alec hasn’t taken a mate.

 Finally Alec leans back enough that Magnus can peel himself away and they just look at each other.

 Alexander laughs wetly and brushes his thumbs under Magnus’ eyes.

 “Sorry. I’ve ruined your mascara.”

 Magnus nearly starts crying all over again but wrestles control of himself as quickly as he can.

 “I knew today was a waterproof day.” He swipes his palm against his cheek, trying to rub off what are no doubt messy black smears.

 Alec just smiles and touches his face again, eyes wide in awe, like he can’t believe Magnus is in front of him. It’s a little overwhelming and Magnus let’s his gaze drop to Alec’s collar to remind himself why he can’t let himself fall back into the alpha’s arms.

 He makes a surprised keening noise when he realizes there are no claiming marks against Alec’s throat. Alec’s fingers push at his chin and Magnus looks back at him, meeting worried eyes.

 “You’re not mated.” Magnus can’t help how his sadness for Alec washes into his words and his smell. He’s always got such tight control but Alec’s blown it to bits.

 “No. I-Not after you, I couldn’t.”

 Magnus swallows hard, “Me?”

 Alec’s eyes close and the lines of his face deepen as old pain pulls at him, his muted scent growing distressed, “I went back as soon as I could, but I couldn’t find you again. The only Magnus who fit your description was a missing person.”

     He went back?    Magnus sits back in shock. Alec tried to come back to him, had wanted him after only a handful of hours. What must it have been like for him? Flying to Jakarta only to be told that Magnus had vanished? What had he thought, after the things Magnus had let slip about his life then?

 “I had to run from my father.”

 Alec nods, leaning closer again, like he can’t bear to be parted. He catches himself though and Magnus watches him brace himself for something before his hazel eyes drop to Magnus’ neck.

 Magnus tips his head back, both to display his unmarked throat and to show Alec his willingness to submit.

 A low rumble sounds in Alec’s chest and Magnus can suddenly really, properly,      smell    him. The scent that has been home since that one night in the fall wraps around him and Magnus can’t help the way he keens and leans toward Alec.

 Alexander doesn’t hesitate, just pulls him close and tight against him.

 “Magnus, if there’s someone else I need to know. I have to know, I can’t-I need-” Alec is left stumbling over his words but the warmth of his arms is steady and Magnus shakes his head, can’t let Alec labor under the delusion.

 “No. It’s you. I only wanted you. I would’ve waited if I knew but I had to get away from my father before he could find out.”

 Magnus goes stiff as he realizes, Alec doesn’t know.

 “Find out what?” Alexander asks, nuzzling against him and Magnus closes his eyes.

 -

 Alec can’t help the way he presses his nose against Magnus’ scent gland. He’s finally found him and after six years he simply won’t stop himself from taking what Magnus is willing to offer and with his declaration Alec doesn’t expect he’ll mind much.

 Magnus is tense against him and Alec makes a sound meant to reassure, slowly making himself stop nuzzling so he can check on his-

     Not yet.  

 So he can check on Magnus.

 “Magnus?” A woman’s voice calls and Alec’s head snaps up as Magnus shifts in his arms. He can’t help how his throat tightens as he smothers another sound at the sudden panic he feels when Magnus starts to move away from him.

 “I’m alright Catarina.” Magnus’ voice is even but it’s obvious he’s been crying and Alec pushes himself to his feet in time to see a woman step out of the back, a little boy on her hip.

 The child sees a room full of strangers and leans a little closer to the pretty dark skinned woman holding him but continues to look at them all curiously.

 “What’s going on? What’s wrong?” She steps forward, her eyes darting between the alpha’s in the room and her own strong alpha scent going sharp with warning as she takes in the black streaks over Magnus’ cheeks.

 Alec forces himself to take a single step away from Magnus, palms up, non-threatening as he can manage.

 Magnus glances at him quickly and then back to the woman, Catarina, “Nothing’s wrong Cat. I promise. I’m just a little…” Magnus trails off and Catarina looks back at Alec, this time recognition sparks her gaze.

 “You’re a Lightwood.” Her lips curls, “Did you waltz in here with your money and your alpha backup and do something to my friend?”

 Alec shakes his head even as Jace steps forward, “Hey! My brother isn’t like      that.    We brought him here because-”

 “Ayah!” The little boy in Catarina’s arms cries out, interrupting the alpha’s and disrupting the heavy pheromones as the instinct to care for the little one overrides their agressions.

 Magnus looks at Alec again, his eyes are frightened and Alec can’t imagine why until Catarina sets the little boy down and he runs into Magnus’ waiting arms.

 “Ayah why is Aunty Cat upset? Are they bad?”

 The little voice is close enough for Alec to catch his scent and he almost falls again. Dark hair but too thick and waved to be Magnus’, eyes a shade darker than the omegas, skin just a little lighter, the Lightwood eyebrows.

 “Oh my god.” Izzy’s voice breaks the moment as Magnus answers his son, his and Alec’s son. He has to be, the scent can’t lie.

 “No, blueberry, they aren’t bad. Aunty Cat is just worried because she doesn’t know what’s happening but I’m going to tell everyone and I’m going to tell you something very important okay? Then we’re going to have tea.”

 The little boy nods, his expression serious.

 Izzy and Jace come closer to Alec as though worried they’re going to have to hold him up. With how tremulous he feels they might just have too. Catarina hasn’t relaxed.

 “Magnus.”

 Magnus lifts his chin, cradling his son,      their son,    against his hip, “This is him Cat. This is Alec.”

 Catarina’s mouth falls open. Then she’s moving, fire in her eyes, but Magnus stops her quickly, “He didn’t know Cat. He tried to come back but I’d already left.” Catarina’s glare only makes the guilt that Alec has harbored for a long time worse. He had hated himself for leaving Magnus in the first place but this...a child.

 “Catarina, please.”

 She looks Alec over one more time and then nods to Magnus.

 “I’ll make the tea. You’d better sit down.”

 She leaves and Magnus turns to Alec who can’t stop looking at the little boy Magnus is holding.

 -

 Magnus doesn’t know how to read the look in Alec’s eyes as he stares at Max. He doesn’t know how to do this either.

 He had told Max already the story of how he met the boy’s alpha father and why they weren’t together but he didn’t know how the five year old would take meeting him now. That was without even thinking about Catarina’s reveal. Alec was Alexander Lightwood, CEO of Lightwood&Co and the direct successor to two people who Magnus had loathed.

 Maryse and Robert had been associates of his father and they hadn’t made their distaste for his omega status or his brown skin subtle. He had heard, however, that their children were nothing like them and that the one left in charge of the company had worked hard to undo years of prejudice, both racial and gendered.

 “Hi.” Max waves a little hand and Alec’s lower lip trembles but he waves a little back and looks at Magnus with wide eyes. Finally Magnus can see and smell what he was looking for. Alec is amazed, surprised certainly, but the way he looks with warm hazel eyes is pure hope.

 “If, uh, if it’s alright Izzy and I are going to go.”

 Alec nods to his brother without looking and they unlock the door and let themselves out, leaving the sign turned to closed.

 “Re-lock the door Alexander. Then come meet-” Magnus looks at Max, “Max.”

 Alec nods and turns to follow Magnus’ instructions as he sinks into a chair at the nearest table, shifting Max into his lap.

 “Ayah, who is he?” Max asks, his thumb pressing against his lower lip. They’ve mostly broken the habit but when he’s stressed Max still tends to suck his thumb and seeing it now makes Magnus ache. His son smells like worry so he gently takes the boy’s little hand, kisses it, and holds it as he looks at him seriously, aware in his periphery that Alec is coming to the table.

 “Do you remember when I told you your daddy had to go away and then I left and we never found each other again?”

 He hears Alec’s breath hitch as he takes a seat but he doesn’t look away from Max.

 “Yeah. You said daddy was the nicest alpha ever but he didn’t even know about me.” Max frowns and Magnus smiles gently, kissing his forehead.

 “He does now Max. He finally found us. Do you want to meet him for real?”

 Max’s little face scrunches in thought, his dark brows pull together and Magnus waits patiently, glad for Alec’s quiet even though he can smell the nerves on him, the synthetic smell practically burned away under the strength of his recent feelings.

 Finally Max nods and Magnus shifts him so he’s sitting facing Alec. The two adults look at each other, Alec’s eyes are wide and teary and Magnus can feel his own are wet again as he smiles a little. Then Alexander looks at Max.

 -

 Alec can hardly believe he’s looking at his son. His little boy, with a serious little wrinkle on his face as he looks Alec over critically. Magnus is holding him steady as he leans forward and if Alec focuses too hard on being here with Magnus and their son he’s going to start sobbing again.

 “You’re my daddy?” Max asks, blunt.

 Alec smiles at him, “I am. I’m Alec. Your, uh, ayah said your name is Max?”

 His little boy nods, “Yep. I’m Max and you’re my daddy and this is my ayah. Since you found us are we gonna live with you?”

 Alec’s eyes go wide and then Magnus laughs even as Max twists to pout at him.

 “That’s what happened when Madzie found her mom! She lives with her now!”

 Magnus nods, “That’s right, but Madzie didn’t have anyone else and Catarina decided to be her mom. Alec and I-” Magnus looks up at him from under dark lashes, “we have to grown-up talk about it okay?”

 Max’s pout doesn’t lessen and Alec wants to reach for him. Max starts to wiggle in Magnus’ hold as he whines, the sound reaches into Alec’s heart and tugs, he needs to help. He’s reaching out before he’s even aware of it but it works perfectly as Max chooses the same moment to throw himself out of Magnus’ lap. The omega’s scent flares with worry but it calms as Alec’s sure hands catch the child, making him stretch between them with a giggle.

 “Daddy, hold!” Max squirms around until he can push himself into Alec’s lap properly, ignoring the wide-eyed look Alec is sure is pasted on his face. Max is warm and sturdy as he plants himself in Alec’s lap and his little shoulders relax as he tucks his face into Alec’s neck.

 “You have to stay daddy,” Alec swallows, hard, his delight at holding his son strong in the air around them, “Ayah is sad without you.”

 He squeezes Max softly and his heart stutters as the boy nuzzles against him and sighs, his child-scent starting to blend with Alec’s. He looks at Magnus who is staring at them, his expression overwhelmed.

 “Magnus?” He asks, gentle as he can.

 Magnus blinks and then smiles, a small but lovely thing, “You look good Alexander, holding our son.”

 Alec has no words at that moment.

 Catarina saves them both from dissolving into more tears as she returns with more cups of tea than people and huffs.

 “Someone could have hollered that a few of our guests left.”

 Magnus chuckles and wipes at his eyes again, “Sorry, we were a little distracted Cat.”

 She looks at where Max sits, pressed in tight to Alec, takes in the way Alec is rubbing small circles against the boy’s back and the way the three of them are already starting to smell like a      family.    As long as Catarina has known Magnus, from the scared but determined young omega Ragnor sent to her door to the compassionate man he’s become, she had never thought anything was missing but now- His scent is clean of a sadness that was so ingrained she hadn’t even realized it was there.

 “I think you should stay distracted. Go upstairs Magnus, show Alec around. I can handle it down here.”

 Alec looks between them in surprise, “You live here?”

 Magnus nods, “I do. Max looks like he needs a nap, will you bring him?”

 Alec can feel his, because Alec refuses not to claim him for a second longer, little boy breathing slower and deeper as Alec’s gentle touches soothe him.

 “Of course.”

 He follows Magnus, Max held close and carefully, up a narrow staircase and into a beautiful loft that smells more like home than anywhere Alec has ever lived as an adult. He takes a greedy breath and then blushes when he realizes Magnus is watching him.

 “You can lay him on the couch for a nap, we can talk on the balcony?”

 With a nod, Alec moves to lay Max down but he grips the alpha’s shirt and mewls. Alec looks up at Magnus from where he’s bent awkwardly, their son holding him too tightly to set down. Magnus’ gaze is impossibly soft and he stands so he’s pressed hip to hip with Alec and leans over to help delicately uncurl Max’s little hands and coax him to the couch. He whimpers and rubs his small cheek against the fabric and Alec knows what he’s looking for.

 He looks at Magnus for permission and the omega smiles, “Please. It’ll help him and we both know you’re dying to mark him.”

 Alec blushes again, heat rushing to his cheeks, because Magnus is spot on. He doesn’t hesitate now that he has permission though, flexing his wrist and rubbing his scent softly against Max’s chin and one of his small wrists. As soon as he finishes Max pushes his face against the marked wrist and relaxes into deeper sleep, a soft little purr vibrating through him.

 “      Oh.”    Alec chokes on the word and the feeling pushing up his throat, his eyes burn again and the breath he takes is shaky.

 Magnus reaches for him again and he pulls the omega in close, relief burning through him. As Magnus pushes his face against Alec’s throat he realizes, the suppressant he takes has well and truly burned away.

 “I think we should talk?” Magnus murmurs against him and Alec closes his eyes, nodding.

 -

 On the balcony, Alec sits so he can face the open doors and see the little bit of Max that is visible from there. Magnus forces himself to sit facing Alec even though everything in him wants to curl into the alpha’s lap and breath him in.

 Already Alec’s scent, cleaner than it was at first, is curling between them, leaving traces all over Magnus’ home. Selfishly, he wants Alec to scent-mark everything in sight, just to really smell him when he’s gone again.

 “Magnus, I’m sorry.” Alec’s voice is soft but so very earnest as he leans forward, tearing his gaze from the room where their son sleeps and gently reaching for Magnus’ hand, “I would’ve gone to the end of the Earth to find you if I thought-If I knew about Max, if I thought you wanted me like that too.”

 Magnus turns his hand, runs his fingers over Alec’s palm and gently swirls the pads of them against the underside of Alec’s wrist, coaxing his scent from him, leaving Alec in the perfect position to do it in return.

 Alec stares at their hands but slowly his fingers move, pressing softly against Magnus’ skin.

 “It’s alright Alexander. I never,” Magnus shivers, “I never expected you to want me for more than that night. If it weren’t for Max I don’t know what you would’ve found when you came back for me but I am so, so grateful for him. I loved him from the first moment I decided to keep him. I had to leave everything behind but, it was so worth it. I didn’t see, not really, until I was away from my father what I had been through and the thought of ever having a child in that environment…” Magnus closes his eyes, even just thinking about his father ever laying a hand on Max makes him whimper.

 Alec’s arms are around him in an instant as he kneels in front of the chair, “Hey,      hey    Magnus it’s okay. I’ll never let your father touch either of you, not now. Please, let me help you.”

 Magnus rubs their cheeks together, “He’s dead. Ragnor, my friend who got me out, told me a few months ago. Asmodeus is gone.”

 Alec tenses, “Your father was...Asmodeus as in      Edomai?”  

 Magnus nods and sighs but Alec continues, sounding horrified, “      Magnus.    My parent’s turned down...when he tried to make some deal with them he offered his omega son as part of it but my parents refused. I tried to convince them he was a psychopath when I found out that he was trying to sell his son’s virginity for company gain but they didn’t think there was anything wrong with it, they only denied him because his son was Indonesian and they thought I should make a better match.”

 Magnus pulls away, mouth open and scent confused as he tries to process that. His father wanted to marry him off to the highest bidder, he already knew as much, but to know that even that much hadn’t been      good enough    for some was sickening. Alec’s eyes are wide as he strokes a hand over Magnus’ cheek.

 “I never pieced it together. I didn’t know Asmodeus’ sons name and despite my best attempts my parent’s blocked me from ever being able to help him. But that was      you.    Magnus, I-” Alec looks so devastated and Magnus can’t take it anymore so he presses a hand over Alec’s mouth.

 “Alexander, you are not them. I didn’t know you were Alexander Lightwood or it would’ve been easy to find you but I know your reputation, I remember the sweetness I found in you. We shared one night and part of a morning and now, years later, I still only want you. I don’t care about the ways we could’ve come together, I care about right now. Please Alexander, I want-” Magnus steeled himself, “I want to make a family with you, I want Max to know his daddy and I want-I want you to be-” Magnus swallows, “I want you to be my alpha. Alexander, please.”

 Alec’s brown eyes flash and his scent flares with a possessive yet sweet edge and Magnus watches him, waiting for the answer that might finally break him.

 Alec, still on his knees, cups Magnus’ face in one large hand and presses their noses together.

 “Magnus,      my    Magnus. If you’ll have me,” Alec presses an impossibly gentle kiss to Magnus’ lips, “I want to be your alpha. I want to mate you. It’s all I want.”

 Alec’s hand trails down, fingertips brushing over the spot Magnus imagines will bear his mark and Magnus is lost, pulling Alec in close and tilting his head, baring his throat.

 With a low groan, Alexander presses a warm kiss to the line of his neck and then angles him so he can claim a kiss, deeper and hotter. He parts Magnus’ lips with the gentle pressure of his tongue and Magnus let’s himself taste the alpha, head going fuzzy with joy and pleasure.

 He can feel how his scent sings with it, joy blooming brightly between them and Alec answers, slowly sucking on his lower lip.

 They part, foreheads pressing together as they both take a moment to calm themselves.

 “We should probably go on at least one date first.” Magnus notes and Alec laughs, helpless.

 “Can we count today?”

 Magnus bumps their noses together, “No. You didn’t even drink your tea.”

 “Ayah?” Max’s little voice draws them out of their bubble and Alec keeps a hand on Magnus as they part and go to the little boy. His dark curls are mussed and he blinks sleepily at them but their strong happy scents must tell him enough because he reaches toward them both.

 “Come nap daddy, ayah. Nap.”

 Alec laughs again and leans down to lift up his son. He presses a cheek against Max’s curls and Magnus steps closer so he can curl his free arm around him and kiss his cheek.

 “I’d hazard a guess that Jace and Izzy cancelled the rest of my day, if not my whole week. So I’m good for a nap, if you are?”

 Magnus grins and leads Alec to his bedroom, laying down so Max is curled between them and smiling so wide it hurts. Alec brushes his fingers against Max’s cheek and then looks at Magnus, a happy, calm burst of his scent rolling over them.

 “Thank you.”

 Magnus raises an eyebrow and Alec touches the corner of it with his thumb, “For giving me this, for still wanting me. For...for our son.”

 The words make Magnus melt and he presses his face into Alec’s wide palm.

 “Thank you for finding me again.”

Part 2

[circles-and-metaphors]

sometimes i run my nails across my shoulder blade and imagine it’s you. back to the before— i would pre-game our encounters with hot showers and loose-fitting shirts, and the lights are off now, and your hands feel good, and our show is playing for pretense. i guess it was never really yours though, that way i can still call it mine without seeing your fingerprints all over it.

my body is mine. i meant the show. the show is mine.

oh dear, ruined and you never even kissed me. i thought about it in your car when we laid the seats back. anyone could’ve seen us. i would’ve crawled into your body to be closer to you, but i settled for the driver’s seat. i wish you had freckles, so i could have an excuse to linger. what a waste…maybe i could give you mine, press my face against yours like those tacky DIY stamp kits, so you get the impression i am yours. i go to the restaurant and box up half of my sandwich. i am yours. i swear we used to leave without leftovers. i am yours. it’ll go bad in my fridge, and i’ll cry over something rotten, microwave something else for dinner instead, and laugh about how my roommate doesn’t know who you are. i don’t flinch when i get the email that my dorm’s name is the same as your last.

oh, i see. still crawling inside you, am i?

i didn’t know what to say when you told me about the dreams. but you haven’t thought about it like i have. you can press me into hotel doors, and i will imagine quaint cottages. you can get off to the things i let slip: “i want to put my mouth on your legs.” i can work up and you can get worked up. stupid, stupid, stupid. we both know who would’ve been against the wall. at least i was never braver than when i was with you, because i really would’ve admitted to anything.

it’s spilling again, your alarm is going off, and dreams are a heinous thing, aren’t they? maybe that’s why i despise sleeping. who do i need to speak with to straighten out the story? REM hasn’t quite got the memo you don’t look at me like that anymore. why are we in a grocery store? why is the world ending? and why are the rips in your jeans so important? i’m up, i’m up, i’m falling again.

oh, you and the horrible habit are the same? should’ve seen that coming. wouldn’t have bothered locking the closet every night if i knew you were in my bed the whole time. love, you still love me? that’s nice. no, that’s a good one. very you, really, never ceasing to care in that “happy birthday, hope you’re doing well” kind of way. i should’ve kissed you for real instead of talking about how i did it in my head last night.

“you would mess up your first kiss by kissing me?”

darling, mess up everything, please. should’ve gone all or nothing. there’s my father’s voice, saying, “stop crying, or i’ll give you something to really cry over.” would you really? i mean, could you? kiss me? it was always going to hurt anyway. this part deserves a Netflix special. it was hilarious forgetting you used to tuck my hair behind my ear, because i frowned, for a very long time, at why the motion was so familiar. and then it hit me, agonizingly soft and slow. why do you have to be the greatest thing i’ve ever touched? like an idiot. like a real fool. someone call the king! ask if he’s lost a jester.

bet you would’ve loved that, wouldn't you?

"i like being called good.”

yeah, sweetheart, i know. and i would make myself the bad guy just for you. don’t sweat it. this is what we both want, after all—something to stave off the boredom and something to swallow me whole. it works and it’s painful and it’s satiating. you know just where it hurts, just where to touch to make it feel good enough to stay. if you didn’t want to hear me say i loved you, you should’ve kissed it from the tip of my tongue. you should’ve eaten it right up. but you were a coward. or maybe you just liked to hear me run my mouth, and i fell for it. you’re good. you are so good. god, you’re fucking perfect. don’t stop—

i mean it sarcastically, of course, but also devotedly. what? what did you expect? prom night, i fell asleep in your arms in front of everyone. i should've gone to bed with you, should've followed you out when i saw you get up in the middle of the night. you told me you waited for me, and god, (why must you do that?) i could’ve had you with four walls for a few more hours. i should’ve gone to bed with you.

we’re speeding through, i know. a crash course on the crash-and-burn. to be fair, it was out of order when we began. pick any star and start there; you can draw whatever constellation you like best. strangers to enemies to friends to “hypothetically speaking, i think i’m in love with you." jesus, the pins and needles are setting in. i can’t feel my legs anymore.

oh, that wasn’t dirty enough for you? “i would get on my knees and open you up.” better? "i want you to say my name into my neck until it looks like a tattoo." how was that? "i want to hook your ankles over my shoulders, while you—"

ok, I’ll stop. sorry. you know how it is. right before the end times kicked into full gear, i remember this day, on a trampoline, and something about birds. that was the last time i was ever really certain about being sure. and during the apocalypse, when i was positive (but not sure) i was dying in the hospital, it was you on my mind. maybe that’s why i was scared out of it. i thought we weren’t allowed to occupy the same space anymore. you can take the vital organs, i guess. leave me the limbs.

...yes, i hate summer. yes, it’s because of you. yes, i’m always sorry.

i don’t write for you anymore, but i still i still i still i still i still i still i still i still

write for you.

i didn't come until you left (12. 29. 23)

[luhciferwritess]

— ⟢ writing challenge 1/30 ⟢ —

day: 16 - write as missed calls

character: patroclus harrigton

rating: mature

tw: none

❝ — Hey...This is Pat. Patroclus, I mean I know you remember who is Pat, but like I just want to make sure you know it’s me. Call me when you get this. — ❞

❝ — It’s me again, I know you told me to not call you, but I need to talk to you. Call me back. — ❞

❝ — Me. Again...Listen, I’m just going to say this for once and all, I wasn’t trying to ground myself, I wanted to apologize, I still want to apologize, please, please pick up the phone I need to talk to you, I need to tell you how sorry I’m, I need you, Vic...Please. — ❞

❝ — I’m going to say it for once. I need to apologize, I want to apologize, what I said wasn’t nice, wasn’t true, I got scared, terrified to say the least, it was so upsetting for me that my plans for our future were being disrupted that I never stopped to think that, love, I never included you in my little world and I don’t know how to do it, I don’t know how to take it back, but please give me a chance to do it. I have my bags ready and I have Oxford on hold, I just need a green light from you and I’ll flight to Harvard to be with you. — ❞

❝ — Sorry, it got cut off and I’ve a running nose, fuck, still meant it. Every word, please, please, Victor. Just say yes to me going there. I swear I’ll fix things, we will study together, Harvard is great and we both can live in a dorm or get an apartament, we will cook together and fight over me being controlling over weird stuff and you not wanting me to touch the garden, and we will make peaces over dinner and some weird movie. And I’ll get fucking mad at you for complaining about every movie we watch and you’ll keep doing it and I’ll keep listening to because I love it and I love you and every little thing and you’ll tell me I look like a high school drop out and I’ll tell you you look gorgeous just to make you roll your eyes and say that I look good, but that’s not the point. We will do all of these things and I will propose to you down on my knees and I’ll even put both of my knees on the ground if needed to and it’s going to be a big ring that it’s just your face and I’ll cry a lot if you say yes. And then we’re going to get marry, it’s going to be a big wedding with flowers and plants and the sun, and you’ll look gorgeous with a tuxedo and i’ll fucking pray to God for it not to be dream because it’s just going to be so fucking perfect. Please...Give me a chance to show you that I meant it, that we can be that, that we can be the old couple bickering about the medical field while our children are away... — ❞

❝ — Hey...It’s me again, just needed to tell you I found out that London is beautiful, and great and has everything except for you. And you Victor Cromwell is the only thing I need, you’re the only one that I want. I need you, Victor, I was a fool, I was a idiot, I was a fucking asshole, I will kneel and beg for it if I have to, but please! Just tell me I can go to you, tell me we can meet, tell me I can have you back, tell me you’ll have me back in your arms, I’m begging you. — ❞

❝ — I know it’s been two weeks and that by now you’re leaving it very clear that this is not something that you want to...But I love you. I will always love you, Victor. You are, like the poets says, half of my soul and I don’t know what to do without you, so please...Please...If you have even a little spark of hope for us...Call me back. Anytime you want, now, tomorrow, next week or even in ten years...I will always be yours anyway. You have my heart, you just need to take it. — ❞

[raibebe]

Love Is On Air

Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk

A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective​. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin​, @moonctzeny​, @lenaluvs​, @lucas-wongs​, @burtonized​ and to @ncteaxhoe​ who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.

“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.

“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”

While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.

“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”

“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”

Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.

“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail JohnJaeNNN@NCTU.com to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.

Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.

Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.

“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.

Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.

And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”

The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.

“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”

While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.

From: Johnny Are you watching our show?

To: Johnny Sure, you look good today

From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)

“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”

“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.

That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.

With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.

Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.

“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.

When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.

“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.

“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”

Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”

Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.

“Move,” you demanded after a while.   “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.

“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.

“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.

For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.

“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.

“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

[just-jordie-things]

Insecurities - Richie Tozier

word count: 4319 warnings: swearing summary: Richie’s greatest fear is not being good enough for her- and It knows to use that against him ___

Richie Tozier loved his girlfriend.  He idolized her, he prioritized her, and every day that he was with her felt like a miracle.  She was his favorite person, the light of his life, and he was so goddamn in love with her that it consumed his entire being.

Thing was, (y/n) was out of his league, and his friends and peers reminded him of it, every, fucking, day.  Either with a joke about how he landed a girl like that, or a comment about how she’ll find someone better too.  His friends weren’t purposefully being assholes, and they never knew how deep their words could cut into Richie.  But he’d never told them how insecure he really was.

(y/n) never thought anything of it.  She loved Richie and that’s all that mattered.  He made her happier than she ever could have imagined herself being in this town.  In this dreary place she lived, he managed to be a ray of spontaneity and sun that she was grateful for every day.  She longed to tell him how much she loved him, she’d never gathered the courage to say it before, but always felt the words burning in her throat. She knew her friends were teasing, and never second guessed them or Richie’s feelings about it.  

That is, until Neibolt. ___

“This, is a bad fucking idea” Richie had muttered into her ear when they’d walked onto the property.

She wasn’t sure if it was out of annoyance for wasting a day that they could have spent at the arcade, or out of his own fear for trekking into the obviously haunted house.

If it was fear, she knew he wouldn’t say anything about it.  So instead, she grabbed his hand and gave him a smile.

“But it’ll make for a great story!” She’d declared.

(She has a tendency to reprimand him on his idiotic ideas, and he always argued that he would have a good story to tell later.  So when she repeated his words back to him, he glared a bit)

(y/n) winked, before giggling because Richie always made a funny face when she winked at him.  After dating her for a year or so, he has never gotten used to the sight of her winking at him.

But then again, a part of him was still in disbelief that she was his girlfriend and she was winking at him.

He tugged her closer to his side by her hand as they walked into the house.

“Oh, gross” Eddie winced, and continued to complain the further they walked into the hall.

The clubs’ steps gradually slowed.

“What the fuck?” Richie hissed, eyes narrowing while he looked around.  “This is a fucking crackhouse-“

He stopped abruptly when there was a loud creaking, and the whole group froze in place.  They went silent, ears on alert for the next haunting sound.

Richie’s hand tightened around (y/n’s), making sure that she was secure at his side.  She looked up at him, brows furrowed a bit, clearly conflicted about Bill’s plan.

Another creak sounded, and her eyes shot towards the sound, just in time to see a door slowly swinging open.  To their surprise, no one, or nothing, appeared in the doorway.  It only revealed an empty room.

When Mike took a few tentative steps towards it, (y/n’s) feet also began to move, as if on instinct, her brain told her not to let her friend investigate alone.

“(y/n)” Richie called for her in a hushed voice as she pulled her hand out of his hold.

She glanced back at him as if to say ‘I’m alright’, and then moved swiftly on the tips of her toes up to Mike.  They shared a look, before nodding their heads, and walking into the room.

As she examined the old run-down bedroom, she felt her heartbeat steady, as did her breathing.  The floorboards were worn and creaky, and the walls had indescribable stains on them, but there was nothing more to it.

“It’s just old” Mike said, a similar expression of relief on his face.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” (y/n) looked back out to their friends to assure them that they were safe.  “It was nothing-“

Before the word could even leave her mouth, the door creaked again, and slammed shut before anyone could move.

“(y/n)!” Richie was the first to leap to action, but by the time he’d gotten to the door, it was already locked.  And no matter how much he yanked and pulled on the rusty knob, it would not budge.

She was pounding her fists against the other side of it, and from the sounds of it, he was pretty sure Mike was trying to kick the door down from the other side.

“(y/n)! (y/n) it’s gonna be fine! I’m gonna get you out!” RIchie hollered, enlisting in the help of Bill and Beverly in trying to kick open the door.

But even as everyone was kicking, it was no use.  The door would rattle in it’s frame, and not crack even a little bit.

“It’s It!” Beverly declared, trying to get the boys to halt in their frantic kicking before they hurt themselves.  “Guys- Richie- we won’t be able to break it open, it’s like- cursed, or something”

He didn’t want to give up that fast, he wanted to keep kicking this door until his shoes were worn through and his feet were bruised, until (y/n) was free.

“It’s alright!” (y/n) called from the room.  “Mike found a part of the wall that’s caved in, we’re gonna try to break through it to the other side of the hall, okay?”

“W-we’ll meet you o-over there” Bill said, already heading around the corner of the hallway with Stan.  Even though it was clear she’d only been informing one person.

“Richie,” She spoke again.  “Go on, I’ll be fine, Mike’s here with me, I’ll see you in a couple minutes, okay?”

She was trying so hard to keep her voice brave, but he could hear it begin to crack, even through the door.

“I’m not fucking leaving you-”

“Richie, go, I don’t want you standing alone out there,” (y/n) ordered.  “I gotta go help Mike with the wall, see you in a minute”

He could barely hear her footsteps take off, and then leaned forward to press his ear against the wood, hoping to hear them breaking through with ease.  But now he couldn’t hear a thing.

Richie spun around, about to alert Eddie and Ben how oddly enough he couldn’t hear their friends tearing through a wall.

But Eddie and Ben weren’t there.

“Guys?” Richie hollered, breaking into a jog in hopes to catch them around the corner, where Mike and (y/n) were supposed to meet everyone.

But no one was there either.

“Hello!? Guys!? Where’d you go!?”

He began to yell a bit louder now, rushing around anywhere he could in search of his friends, but he hadn’t found, or even heard anyone.  How had they abandoned him so fast? Didn’t they notice?

“Richie?” A scratchy but familiar voice called from behind him.

He turned on his heel and was instantly relieved at the sight of (y/n).

“Oh, thank fucking god” He breathed out heavily, taking swift steps towards her.

She, however, took a sharp step backwards.

“Don’t come any closer” She snapped, and Richie froze on the spot.

“W-what-?”

“Stay the fuck back!” She screeched now, so loud that the harsh words echoed down the halls.  They seemed to ring in Richie’s ears for a lifetime.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” He asked worriedly.  But he did as she asked, and didn’t move any closer to her.  “Did something happen-?”

“Jesus Richie fuck off!” She snarled now, and if that wasn’t shocking enough, she stormed up to him, and shoved him against his chest with both hands, mustering all the force she could.

Richie stumbled until he tripped over his feet and fell to the ground.  He couldn’t believe she was strong enough to push him to the ground like that.  (y/n) wasn’t frail by any means, but she shouldn’t have been able to knock him down with such ease.

“Blabber and hover- blabber and hover with you!” She was yelling down at him now, and Richie pushed himself up on shaky arms.

This was incredibly unlike her-

“You can never just leave me the hell alone! Can you!?” She went on, voice booming unnaturally with each bark.  “Always on my ass, always crowding me!”

If he wasn’t so afraid, he would have noticed how with every word, her teeth turned more ragged, and sharper.

“Do you think I enjoy it? Being stuck with you? It’s a goddamn burden! I can’t stand to be around you- I fucking hate you Richie Tozier!”

“Y-you’re not- this isn’t-” He could barely speak his throat was burning so bad from holding back tears.

This couldn’t be (y/n)... (y/n) would never…

“What, I’m not real?” The word came out in a vicious snarl, and suddenly she warped into another figure.

He wasn’t sure if this one was worse.

“You piece of shit!” Henry Bowers barked.  “Haven’t I told you to stay the fuck out of this town!?”

Richie lunged himself backwards, trying to crawl away from this horrible nightmare as fast as possible.  But the more he tried to scurry away, the worse the image in front of him became.

“You’re a freak!” (y/n) screamed in his face again.  “You’re a loser, Richie.  You think anyone would want to be with you?”

He couldn’t breathe- the tears- the panic- it all welled up inside of him and he knew he was going to explode soon.

“This isn’t real, you’re not real, you’re not her”

“Aren’t I though?” Her voice dropped to a haunting whisper, and she leaned in close to him.  “Aren’t I!?” She screamed.

Richie closed his eyes, shaking his head rapidly and hoping that when he opened them again, she’d be gone, and he’d wake up in his bedroom.  This was just one terrible fucking nightmare, it’ll be over soon-

“The real (y/n) doesn’t have the guts to fucking tell you” She snarled, reminding him of his reality.

“Stop it!” Richie yelled, unable to hold back his tears any longer.

“She’s never been able to speak up and say-”

“Go away!” He begged, voice cracking in desperation.

“She knows she’s too good for you, and let’s face it fuckface, I am too good for you”

He didn’t have it in him to beg It to leave him alone, as he broke down sobbing into his hands, enduring the cuel wrath.

“She hates you, for dragging her down, for hanging off of her like a dog,” Her tone slowly warped into something more squeaky, and masculine, until she wasn’t exactly the image of (y/n) anymore.  “Ohhh… she haaates you Richie”

When he dared to look, he was met with the gruesome sight of a circus clown.  A rather large circus clown.

“But you can stay, Richie, you can float with us!”

“No- no…. no no no!”

He covered his face again as he pleaded and wept uncontrollably.  He wished that It would just get it over with, because he couldn’t take this torture anymore.

“Richie!” A voice screamed.  Not the scream that he’d heard just moments ago, but a worried shriek.

Even still, he kept his hands planted safely over his eyes.  It couldn’t get in his face if he couldn’t see the form it had taken.

“Richie- Richie,” The voice panted again, this time soft, and close to his ear.  “Hey, it’s me” She murmured.

Gentle hands grasped onto his wrists, and pulled on his arms until he revealed his face.

He was met with the concerned eyes of his girlfriend, her brow so furrowed there were lines on her forehead, and a pout on her lips that he’d never seen there before.

“Babe,” She whispered so soft he was certain that he’d imagined that too.  “What happened?”

He flinched when she reached for him, and the action shattered her heart to pieces, but she tried her best not to show it.  Tentatively, she reached her hand out to place against his cheek, pulling her sleeve over her palm to wipe away the flow of tears.

“You’re- are you-”

“I’m real,” She nodded, beginning to realize what had happened.  “It’s me, promise”

His eyes wandered her features unsurely, and she sighed.

“Do you want me to prove it?” She murmured, and began to speak before he could even nod his head.  “On our first date, you called me sweet cheeks, and then got so embarrassed about it that you tripped and dropped your ice cream” There was a weak smile on her lips at the memory, hoping that it would be enough to calm Richie down.

He let out a shaky whimper, before surging forward and wrapping his arms around her torso.  He held her so tightly that she had to control her breaths, but it was alright because he believed her and things were going to be okay.

“It’s alright,” She cooed into his ear as he cried into the crook of her neck.  “I know, it’s awful”

One of his hands cradled the back of her head, fingers tangled in her hair.  The other was fisting the material of her jacket.  He couldn’t speak, he was crying so hard, ut it was enough to know that she was here right now.

(y/n) rubbed his back in soothing circles as she held him for a few moments longer, until she knew it was time to go, and pulled away.

“Come on, we gotta get out of here,” She whispered, wiping his opposite cheek tenderly.  “Eddie broke his arm” She told him as she helped him to his feet, and intertwined their fingers as they raced out of Neibolt.

The others, besides Eddie, were standing in the front yard.

Eddie was being shoved into his mother’s car, while Mrs K was scolding their friends.

“I knew my boy shouldn’t be playing with the likes of you all,” She rambled, snarling at Beverly in particular.  “This is all your fault.  All your fault! I hope your proud of yourselves for maiming my boy!”

She stormed off to her car, and Eddie could barely wave out the window before she’d driven off.

“I know where It is,” Bill spoke after a beat passed.  “And n-next time we’ll come p-prepared”

Richie’s eyes widened before glaring at the boy, finding it ridiculous that he thought it was a good idea to not only come back, but to come back and retaliate.

“No next time, Bill!” Stan begged, shaking his head.

“We have to,” Beverly said.  “Ben, you said so yourself, It comes back every twenty-seven years-”

“Fine! I’ll be forty and far away from here!” He answered.

With his words, a layer of tension settled over the group.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t save Georgie,” Richie grumbled, pulling away from (y/n) to head to his bike.  “But you can still save yourself” He finished, brushing past Bill’s shoulder.

“N-no,” Bill stammered, pushing Richie back by the shoulder.  “T-take it back!”

“Face the truth, Bill! You’re chasing a lie-!”

He couldn’t even finish before Bill pushed harder, and swing a fist against Richie’s cheek.

“Bill!” (y/n) screeched, leaping forward to break them up before something could happen.

She grabbed Richie by the elbow before he could land a punch, and yanked him back while Mike grabbed a secure hold on Bill.

“Face it! We’re losers! That’s it!” Richie snarled.

He shrugged (y/n’s) hold off of him, and her eyes shot to his, broken, and hurt.

“I’m going home.  I don’t want to get fucking killed too” He muttered, and when he stormed off to his bike, Bill didn’t stop him this time.

“R-Richie?” (y/n) called brokenly, stumbling forward on wobbly legs, but it didn’t matter, he was already zooming down the street as fast as he could.

Before she could crumpe to the ground, Beverly grabbed a hold of her, hugging her against her side comfortingly.

It was silent as everyone dispersed, barely giving each other a second glance as they rode off.

Beverly hugged (y/n) tight before she got on the back of Bill’s bike.  Murmuring a soft, ‘see you later’ that (y/n) wasn’t quite convinced of.

She didn’t have the energy in her to bike home, but the only other option was to sit outside Neibolt, alone, and the sun was beginning to set, so she gathered what little strength she had left in her to slowly make her way home. ___

When she came home past dinner, covered in muck and bruises, her parents barely batted an eye.  Even as she let out a soft cry with every step up the stairs, it was like they tuned her out completely.

It had thrown her around like a ragdoll after she tried to defend Eddie.  As brave as she’d tried to be, she’d been terrified, shaking straight down to the bone as she forced herself to stand in front of him.

The demonic clown had simply swing an arm, and sent her tumbling across the ground.

It took a long shower to get all the dirt scraped off her skin.  But even as it was washed down the drain, the memories of this afternoon would haunt her for life.

Maybe Bill was right.  Maybe It needed to be stopped now, before he could just keep coming back and traumatizing a new generation of children every thirty or so years.  But even if she really wanted to kill the creature, she wouldn’t even know where to begin.  And her brain was already swarmed with a worse thought,

Was Richie done with me?

She sniffled a bit at the idea, but wiped her eyes before they could be filled with tears.

No, he was just angry, and scared, he would never… he wouldn’t just leave like that… would he?

A few knocks on her window made her jolt up in bed, nerves spreading throughout her body like electricity.  She instantly thought that It had found her, and was back to finish what he’d started.

But as she rushed to turn on the lamp sitting on her bedside table, her muscles relaxed to see it was only Richie, waiting rather impatiently for her to unlock her window.

She threw the covers off of her, and moved as quickly as she could to let him in.

As soon as she pushed the window upwards, he was crawling in, oddly silent.

“Hey,” She murmured, not wanting to alert her parents downstairs that her boyfriend had snuck in.

He’d done so a million times before, and they’ve never gotten caught, but today was a rather awful day and she didn’t want to have one more thing ruined.

“Are you feeling be-”

“We need to talk” Richie mumbled, effectively cutting her off with the upsetting words.

“O-Okay…” (y/n) answered, trying not to jump to conclusions.  “What… about..?” She asked slowly.

“I think-” He started to speak quickly, but just couldn’t seem to finish the sentence.

He couldn’t even look her in the eyes.

“We- we should- we need to break up”

It was like her heart plummeted right out of her body, sending every nerve to go numb.  She had to have heard him wrong- this wasn’t like Richie- maybe this wasn’t even the real-

“I- I want to break up” He added in an even quieter voice.  She caught the crack in his words, and she shook her head in confusion.

“What?” She could barely manage to say the one word.

“I know you heard me,” Richie sighed, eyes finally flickering up to hers.  “Come on (y/n) don’t make this any more difficult than it-”

“You’re the one being difficult!” She whisper-hissed, eyes widening a bit in frustration.  “What are you doing? Wh- why are you-”

“Come on,” Richie whispered.  “Don’t do that-”

“Give me one reason why we should break up” (y/n) crossed her arms.  She wasn’t going to let him walk away that easy.  Something was up, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.

“We’re not a good fit, alright?” He answered, volume raising a bit above his previous murmur.  “We don’t work, and I was a fucking idiot to think that we would”

“Richie…” (y/n) sighed in disbelief.

“You wanted an answer-”

“Where is this coming from?” She asked with a shake of her head.  “I know you don’t really want to break up-”

“Well we have to!” He yelled, and they were both silent for a minute, trying to see if her parents had heard him.

When there was no response from downstairs, she snapped back at him.

“Why?” She stressed the word, desperate for him to just fess up whatever it was that was bothering him.

“Why? Do you even have to ask, (y/n)?” Richie asked.

Her eyebrows knitted together as he spoke in such a harsh tone.  Richie never talked to her like that.

“Look at me, (y/n)! I mean, come on, it was only a fucking matter of time before you got bored and realized how much of your time you’ve wasted on me!”

If she’d thought him trying to break up was horrible, this was even worse.

“Oh, Rich-”

“I’m a loser, (y/n), don’t you see that? Don’t you see how terrible for you I am?”

He was breaking her heart with every word.

“Haven’t you heard them? What people say? What our own friends say?” He asks her, but she doesn’t answer, because she can’t.  “I am dragging you down with every second of being with you”

“N-no-” She can’t hardly choke out the word, but Richie vents on anyways.

“Might as well just end things now, before one of us gets hurt”

He turns around, as if to head back out her window, but (y/n’s) faster.  She wedges herself in between his body, shutting and locking the window before he could just walk away.

“No, s-stop running away,” She cried, and when she looks up at him, she realizes that he can’t look at her because he’s crying too.  “Richie,” She whimpers, shaky hands reaching up to cup his face, making him look down at her.  “That’s not true, none of that is true-”

“It is” He replies, brokenly.

She shakes her head, and steps closer to him.

“It lied to you,” She tells him.  “I know It probably told you some terrible, nasty things,”

Richie squeezes his eyes shut, and the next thing he knows, he’s falling to his knees.  But (y/n) follows, kneeling down with him and shuffling even closer.

“But babe,” She murmured, “It was lying, it was all a trick”

She could feel his tears slipping down his cheeks and over her fingers.

“I just- I don’t want to drag you down-”

“Drag me down?” She repeats in a whisper, thumbs stroking away his tears once more.  “Richie,” His eyes open when she says his name, soft and sweet-like.

She pushes his glasses up on top of his mess of curls so she can swipe away the tears under his eyes.

“You do nothing but lift me up,” She tells him.  “You’re my ray of sunshine in this terrible fucking town,” An anxious and uncertain smile trembles on her lips.  “And all those things you’re so worried about, I love about you,”

There’s a pause as her eyes flicker between his, before gently placing his glasses back on his nose.

“I’m in love with you,” She murmurs.  “I love you so much,” She repeats in a sigh, just in case he didn’t hear her the first time.  “So much”

A short breath of a laugh escapes him, and a small smile begins to tug on his lips as he looks at her.  He knows she means it, he can feel it, he can see it in her eyes that she’s being genuine.

He takes her hands from his face, setting them gently in her lap before cupping her face in his own hands.

“I love you too” He tells her, and before he can lean in, she’s shooting forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and planting her lips on his firmly.

It’s unlike any other kisses they’ve shared.  It’s desperate, and careful, and loving, and conveyed every last drop of fear that they’d had in losing each other.  She’s kissing him so passionately that her chest is heaving, but she can’t bear to pull away now.

Richie holds her in his lap, and she’s wrapped up in his arms so securely that she’s sure, and she hopes, she’ll never be able to get out of them.

When her lips are swollen and her lungs are burning for oxygen, she finally leaned back slightly, but only by a few centimeters.

“You can’t leave me,” She tells him through heavy breaths.  Her eyes are still closed, but he’s staring intently at her anyways.  “I need you too much- don’t leave me”

He nods in agreement, caressing her cheek affectionately.

“Okay,” He hums, and kisses her lips chastely.  “I won’t… I won’t”

She falls forward, and embraces him tightly.

Richie’s arms wind around her lower back again, and they sit for a long time like this, catching their breath and holding onto one another firmly, so that neither can leave.

“We have to go back” Richie says after a long time.

“I know” She murmurs against his neck.

“We have to kill that fucking clown” He says, voice dropping it’s gentle tone, turning hard, and final.

“I know” She repeats, the same vengeful tone in her own voice.

Nothing was ever going to come between them again, that was for sure.

___

taglist: @thegr8kush​

xoxo ~ jordie 

[hotwings0203]

I feel like Dabi would be the type of dude who would bully you incessantly at the LOV and for the life of you you can’t figure out why. He’s always around you and making snarky comments or pulling your hair, trying to catch you messing up on missions. You’re sure he hates you, and you do well to stay out of his way, or sometimes when you feel bold you’ll offer a quip of your own. The bullying increases whenever you talk to other guys at the bar, especially when you make Tomura crack a smile, Dabi’s breathing down your neck the second your leader leaves, calling you terrible names and pushing past your boundaries.

Cw: language, nsfw, noncon, manga spoilers, some angst?

In a perfect world, Touya would not have been abandoned and rejected by his family. In a perfect world, Dabi would not exist, and Touya would be eating dinner with his family right now as he shows his little brother how to properly wield fire to its fullest extent.

But there was no such thing as a perfect world, and therefore Dabi did exist. And Dabi doesn’t care for anyone, or anything.

Or so he tells himself.

“Slut”

“Nothing but eye candy, and shitty eye candy at that”

It’s nothing you haven’t heard before, but it doesn’t make it any easier to ignore him

“What was that all about, huh? The fuck are you and crusty snickering about?”

Fed up with his continuous antics, you decide to mouth off a little too.

“Oh nothing, just talking about how adorable you and Hawks would make as a couple. And wipe that sneer off your face, it looks like some of your staples fell out of your mouth.”

It’s nothing too snarky, but in a second he’s shoving you in some dark room, forearm pinned against your throat as his hand is lit up with blue flames merely inches away from you, snarling in your face.

“You wanna be funny, bitch? I got jokes of my own too, why dont I show you what happens to dumb little girls who don’t know their fucking place? I think that would be real funny.”

But his hand is stopped from drawing near your wide eyes when you both hear Twice and Toga calling everyone for their next meeting.

He pushes you away from him, giving you a murderous look over his shoulder as he leaves the room, not paying mind to the way you slide down the wall in the dark.

You take extra precaution to try avoiding him for the next few days, not even making eye contact with him when you two get teamed up for tasks. He never mentions the room incident, if anything he acts as if it never happens. It’s like whiplash for you, he tries to weirdly talk to you more but all you offer him is mumbles and hums of agreement.

The conversation is never long, but it starts to be less talk of degrading you and more of begrudging questioning of what you’ve been up to. You never engage, opting to pretend like you never heard him, and strangely enough he leaves it be.

You give him a side eye one day as he joins you at the bar (much to your discontent), downing your glass just to fill another.

He says nothing as he slides into the stool right next to you, and pours a glass of whiskey for himself as well.

It’s awkwardly silent, you’re not sure if you should leave or not, but you’d be damned if you try to initiate small talk with this psycho.

But then, he speaks.

“Is Shigaraki sending you on the mission to get that UA kid?”

His gravely voice rumbles and cracks from his usual lack of use, and he clears his throat after he talks.

“No.”

“Oh.”

This is excruciating, you think to yourself as he mulls over the drink in his hand for a silent minute or two.

Toga calls you over thankfully at the exact same moment, and you breathe out an inaudible sigh of relief as you slip off the stool to join her.

“Wait-“ Dabi grabs your arm and you flinch out of instinct, expecting a slap or a burn to come from him.

He sees your reaction and shakes his head dismissively, letting you go and muttering a “Nevermind”. You don’t ponder over it as you trip over your own feet to join the eccentric blond.

A week passes, and then two. With each day you maneuver your way around him, request to be partnered up with different people in private, and busy yourself in random tasks. Every time you pass him by the bar he lifts his head from whatever he’s doing and tries to maintain eye contact with you, even going so far as to open his mouth to say or ask god-knows-what.

You try to ignore the foreign hopeful glint in his glacial eyes as you walk right past him, ducking your head as you do so.

It drives Dabi crazy.

He can’t handle any more rejection, he thought his family would be the last straw for him to ever want recognition or love validation from again. He wants to talk to you, to hear your voice as it snaps back with witty comebacks of your own that he secretly enjoys so much, even if it means he has to force it out of you with hateful words. He wants to feel your hair underneath his scarred hands, even if he has to mask the soft wanting of you in forms of yanking the strands. He wants nothing more than to see your eyes fill up with no other sight than him and think only of him, even if it means he has to corner you and scare you into submission.

But your silence is something he’s not used to.

Well, to be fair, you weren’t silent completely, but the only sentences he was hearing from you nowadays was when you were speaking to Shigaraki or the other League members.

You were the only idiot who didn’t notice the smoke curling from his nostrils and ears comically when he’d finally see you stop your stoic act just to open up to other men apart from him. Spinner, Twice, and Compress backed off almost immediately from talking to you for too long when they’d see the look on his face as he watched you surrounded by them, but Tomura would merely smirk from behind your shoulders and keep a level gaze with his subordinate, knowing fully well why he was so pissed off.

You began to notice the weird energy at the base soon after the rest of the men would keep curt conversations with you in comparison to your long talks about video games, sex, and life after you would all win the war.

So you thought it would be best to ask the most semi-normal person there that wasn’t fueled with testosterone and aggression.

“I just don’t get it, why are they all being weird? I mean, we all used to talk so much and now they just...try avoiding me. Except for Tomura of course, he’s still normal I guess. But he always has this smirk on his face when I’m with him and I can’t figure out why.”

Toga stops cleaning her blood-laced needle to give you a sly look, all fangs and glinting white.

“And Dabi?”

“What about him?”

She sits back on her haunches and cocks her head at you. “You really don’t know what’s happening here, do ya?”

“No,” you roll your eyes in exasperation. “But I’ll gladly take any theories here, since apparently I’m the only one who doesn’t get it.”

“He likes you.”

You gape at her for a moment and then burst out laughing.

“What? That’s crazy, he doesn’t like me, he hates me!” He can barely stand being in a room with me, all he does is talk shit and harass me.”

The blond curiously licks at a bead of red from the top of the weapon and you cringe when her own tongue rips from the sharp point.

“You say he can’t stand being in a room with you, so then why is it that he’s always there? He might talk shit, but he talks to you out of everyone else right? Regardless of if it’s something mean.”

You’re thoroughly flabbergasted. She had a point, but it was too much to wrap your head around. She cheerfully hums and gets up to flounce around the room, cleaning her already-tidy room up to a T.

“And that little silent treatment act you’re giving him isn’t helping either. I swear, Jin told me Dabi almost burned his mouth off that one day you, him and Spinner were talking about GTA. He totally cornered the poor guy and threatened his life if he didn’t stop talking to you.”

“You’re joking.”

“Am not. He wanted to do the same to Tomura but I figure he wants to keep his job, so he won’t. Doesnt make it any better for him when you’re all chummy with the one person Dabi can’t stand the most, though.”

No wonder your leader was so smug whenever you two were in the same room, your attention solely focused on him.

You run your hands down your face, moaning about the whole situation being fucked. It’s just your luck that you couldn’t take a clue, but to be fair, how could you? Being called worthless and a waste of space wasn’t exactly what you had in mind for flirty banter.

“Soooo what’re you gonna do now? I heard he’s gonna try talking to you for realsies like, tomorrow or something.”

“Tomorrow?” You yelp, jumping up to your feet. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I can’t face him!”

“Oops,” she giggles, twirling with outstretched arms around her room and falling down onto her bed.

“Oh god, I can’t do this. I don’t even know if I like him! He’s such an ass, and even when he tries to come off as normal he’s just so..unsettling. I don’t think I’ve ever had a good conversation with him.”

Toga props her elbow up to rest her chin on her hand, frowning in thought.

“Why not just tell him how you feel?”

You snort and fold your arms. “Yeah, because the psycho arsonist is really gonna take the word no well.”

“Hmm.. I see what you mean. Oh well, whatever you choose, I’ll support you!”

And with that she skips out of the room sing songing for Twice to make a clone for her.

You were fucked.

And sure enough, the next day he approaches you, hands stuffed in his pockets and an almost bored look on his face.

“Yo newbie, I gotta talk to you for a second. Come with me”.

You look blearily up at him through eye bags and mussed hair, a direct telling of your sleepless night. Your stomach drops when you hear his words, but you nod your head and take a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself of the speech you practiced till the sun rose.

No one else is bothering you both today, Shigaraki having gone to visit All For One and the rest of the League left to their own devices. It was something you weren’t so comfortable with, but you doubted a hero would come to save you.

He leads you through the short winding hallways, each step of his growing louder and heavier as the space started growing smaller. Finally, he reaches a dimly lit room and stops outside the door, gesturing for you to go in with a casual wave of his patched wrist.

“After you.”

You raise an unsure eyebrow at his uncharacteristic show of consideration, and do as he says. You’re sweating bullets, fists balled so that your nails are digging into your palms, and vision going in and out of focus as your eyes begin to adjust to your surroundings.

A loud bang pulls you out of your stupor, and you whip around at the sound.

Dabi is already staring back at you with lidded eyes, leaning his weight against the door, his arms crossing over each other.

You shift on both feet, picking at your nails nervously.

“So, what did you wanna talk about?”

He says nothing, but just observes you, his head slightly tilted as if you were some abstract art piece.

“Dabi.”

“You got a lot of nerve, y’know that?”

He pushes himself off the wall and advances slowly towards you, hands stuffed in his trench coat pockets.

You immediately back up with raised palms, sputtering indignantly at his offensive movements coming closer and closer. However you thought his ‘confession’ would go, this was most definitely not starting out like how you planned

“Excuse me? What’re you talking about-“

“I know what you’re doing. You think whoring yourself out to ol’ crusty and the rest of the guys here is gonna make everyone forget just how useless you actually are. What the fuck do you even do here? You fuck up half the missions which I have to come bail your ass out of, you constantly put us in jeopardy by being all friendly with everyone, and you can’t even keep your mouth shut when I need to let off a little steam, as I rightfully should.”

In a perfect world, Dabi would be the light of your eyes, the hero of your world. In a perfect world, Dabi would be able to hold your hand in his smooth one and tell you that he wants you so much that it impairs his rational judgement and makes him say things he doesn’t mean. He’d tell you that your presence is like a weight lifted off his chest, your presence means he doesn’t have to think or worry about the outside world, he just wants you all to himself without anyone interfering.

But this is not a perfect world, and Dabi is not a hero, but rather one of the worst villains.

So he does exactly what one does as a villain.

Instead of a loving look that he knows he’s incapable of, Dabi looks down into your horrified gaze as he traps you against the wall between his scarred arms, spewing misplaced venom at you.

“I don’t know what your problem is, but you need to chill out. First you go ballistic on me ‘cause I talked to Tomura for no reason, then you act all weird and quiet as if you’re some decent person, and now you think you can just bring me in here and tell me how worthless I am? Go fuck yourself, seriously.”

You scoff and make your way to push him but stop when he does what he did a couple weeks ago. You hold bated breath as he casually brings an inflamed hand to scratch at his face as if he can’t feel the hellfire emitting from it, and let out a whine of distress as he lowers his head mere inches from yours, lips almost touching.

“Stop talking to the rest of the guys,” he breaths. “Stop smiling, laughing, or going near anyone who isn’t me.”

You wonder if he knows how insane he sounds. He does, but that’s nothing he doesn’t know already. If anything, it solidifies in his mind that if he is to be as bad as the world has made him out to be, then he is acting exactly fit for the role.

“Why?”

“I don’t need to give sluts like you a reason. It should come as easy, right? What’s putting out for one more person?”

Your eyes are brimming with tears now, your stoic facade showing cracks as you sniffle a little bit.

He eats it up and groans watching salty rivers cascade down your cheeks. Suddenly, he feels as though he can no longer hold back anymore, he feels as though if he thinks for one more second he’ll combust.

So, acting on instinct, he surges forward and presses his lips against yours, swallowing your cries of distress and holding your hands above your head in midst of them frantically beating on his chest.

Your lips are so, so soft compared to his and it’s making him sink deeper into this instinctual daze. He puffs against your writhing lips as he thrusts his hot tongue in your mouth.

You try to bite him but when his hands heat up against your skin you resign to your fate and wail, allowing him to pull his hips flush against yours and start humping your thighs.

He draws back and bites your lips, teeth clacking against yours as he does so. You open your terrified eyes and blanch when you see the look on his face.

Lust is clearly drawn everywhere, from his blown pupils to his heaving chest, all the way to his flushed face and wild eyes. He looks as though he’s about to eat you alive and it’s appropriate that you feel like a lamb about to be slaughtered.

“Dabi, wait, please stop-“

But he cuts your pants off again in favor of slamming his hips against yours again and grinding impossibly hard on your legs, the friction of his jeans catching on your clothed cunt and forcing a mewl out of you.

“I’m not gonna stop. I’ve had enough of you teasing. You’re mine now, and if it takes burning our dear leader alive and this whole place down for you to understand that then I’ll fucking do it.”

He thought that terrorizing you would ease the empty feeling in his heart, that continuously berating you would force him to see you as what he always said you were, just another empty headed cunt. He thought that distancing himself from you and focusing on other things would make him forget about the soft feelings he longed to share with you, feelings he thought perished in the fire he was in when he was a young boy .

Even now, there is an ache in his chest as he hears you beg for him to stop, to let you go, that you’re sorry for whatever you did.

But this is not a perfect world, and not everyone gets their way in life.

You should really learn that, because Dabi already has.

And so Dabi will act accordingly to what life has put out before him .