#but I’ve never seen a bee that big in my life. and I’ve seen plenty

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

feel like this video captures my life rn

[adamwatchesmovies]

Dolemite (1975)

Dolemite is memorable, culturally significant and entertaining all the way through. That said, the writing, performances, fight choreography and camerawork all are poor. The technical aspects make it hard to call it “good” but if it is a bad movie, it's one you won’t be sorry to see.

With the help of corrupt police detectives, Willie Green (D’Urville Martin, who also directs) sends his rival, Dolemite (Rudy Ray Moore), to prison. Since Dolemite's incarceration has done nothing to stem the criminal activity in his former neighborhood, fellow pimp Queen Bee (Lady Reed) convinces the prison's warden to release Dolemite and allow him to work with the FBI to clean up the streets.

Even if I warn you about how bad the fight choreography is, you’ve got no idea. It’s without a doubt the worst I’ve ever seen. Punches miss by a mile and Rudy Ray Moore doesn’t know a karate kick from a bowel movement. The camera is badly positioned, which makes it all the more obvious the bad guys he’s beating up are practically throwing themselves into trunks and onto the ground to show how virile and powerful our hero is.

The acting and writing are on the same level as the action scenes. The dialogue is lousy, which means the poor non-actors don’t stand a chance and this all makes the convoluted plot even more puzzling. In at least one shot you’ll see a boom mike in the bottom left corner of the screen. This means there’s plenty to make fun of but you don’t feel too bad about ridiculing this genuine effort because "Dolemite" is kind of in on the joke. Some of Dolemite’s dialogue is so outrageous they knew it would have the audience laughing. The violence might not be convincing but there’s a lot of it, which counts for something. Most importantly, Rudy Ray Moore has enormous amounts of swagger and presence. You keep watching, wondering what his character will do.

While Dolemite is not on the same level as Superfly, Shaft or Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song, it contains the same elements that make them successful. It is a story of a Black hero hounded by corrupt white police officers who frame him and abuse their power until he rises to face them. While a pimp might not be what you would call a role model, Dolemite is the opposite of what traditional Hollywood Black men were like at the time. He is desired by all women regardless of their skin colour. He takes charge and never backs down. This film was made for Blacks, by Blacks. The humor spoke to them and while the film is funny, you can see elements of real-life pain and concerns beneath the surface - all of which Dolemite addresses with clenched fists and the heels of his boots. It is not a great film but you remember it and recognize why it was a big deal when it came out.

It’s probably best to go into Dolemite knowing the climate that created it. This may tempt you to watch 2019's Dolemite is My Name first to learn about the production, but I’d advise against it. The best scenes are spoiled by the Eddie Murphy film and it covers not only the making of this picture but that of the sequels as well. I say watch them as a double-feature but make sure this one is first.

You may wonder why anyone in their right mind would recommend Dolemite but if you’re interested in the history of cinema, particularly Black cinema, it’s a minor classic. (February 5, 2021)

[palimpsessed]

I have a question for you because you are SO GOOD at analyzing awtwb. Can you explain the “is this what people do?” Thinking that Simon is going through? Most of the things he goes through I see reflected in myself or people I know, but I haven’t seen that before. I would love to know all your thoughts on that?

Hi, Anon! Thanks for sending this ask and for your kind words about my analysis. ❤️

I would love to talk about "is this what people do"!

I'm going to give you my take, and then I'm going to include some thoughts from a friend who isn't on tumblr. Let’s dive in!

Simon asks "is this what people do" because he truly doesn't know what people do. He knows how to be a Chosen One, but he doesn't know how to be a person. He's spent the bulk of his life up until this point as a weapon. He understands how to fight, how to protect those around him, how to sacrifice himself, but he doesn't really understand living for the sake of living. In my answer to another ask, I talked about how Simon doesn't know how to be at peace. I think that's applicable here, too.

Part of what Simon struggles with so much in the time between the end of CO and the beginning of WS is how to live without having a defined purpose, a "mission". He's lost a lot of things that he allowed to define his sense of self, and now he has to sort out who he is without all of that. We see him start to make progress with living for the sake of living in WS: going on a roadtrip to a place he's always wanted to see; being silly and flirting at the Renaissance Faire and walking around with his wings out; flying over Utah, getting to feel the wind in his face and under his wings. But most of the time, he's still struggling with being at peace—living without a mission. Living for himself.

The WS epilogue tells us: "This is what happens if you try to hang on after the end…the pages go blank...Simon Snow's [story] is over." There's no established arc for a hero post-final battle—there's no set narrative or expectations for this point in Simon's life and he's struggling in the uncertainty of it all. He's also struggling with the lingering trauma from years of neglect, exploitation, and violence.

There's a reason the gang literally goes off the map in WS—there is no guide for this part of their journey, and, at least for Simon, doing the "normal" expected thing at this time (getting a flat, going to university, making new friends) isn't working for him. He doesn't have any idea what to do with his life now—this part was never planned out for him. As a child in care and then a boy soldier, Simon never had agency over himself. He was responsible for the fate of the World of Mages and saving all of magic, but he wasn't ever allowed to be responsible for himself. I don't mean that Simon doesn't know how to take care of himself—I'd argue he's the most self-sufficient and practically-minded of the gang because of all the time he was left to fend for himself. But Simon is going out into the world as an adult and there isn't someone else to tell him what to do anymore. (This is something we all face at some point growing up, but it's definitely more extreme in his case!) Don't get me wrong. Being in control of his own life is a really good thing for Simon, but it also leaves him without any idea of how to navigate through life. Someone else has always been there to give him orders or to give him a plan, but we see all of the plans in WS fall apart.

In AWTWB, Simon tries move forward with a new plan—one he thinks is best for everyone—fracturing his relationships with the two most important people in his life while also attempting to make a clean break from magic. It's the wrong thing to do, even if it's something that needs to happen. From the end of CO to the start of AWTWB, Simon chooses to do nothing, because he's afraid. Then he does the wrong thing, also out of fear.

Instead of fighting, which is what he's always done before, Simon allows fear to keep him from acting, allows fear to drive him away from what's important. Simon didn't fear dying as a child in the course of his heroic deeds, but he does fear a future spent with the people he loves (it's "frightening"). He fears it because it’s “uncertain” and he doesn't think he can hold onto it (“I never believed I’d get to keep you”). He doesn't think he has a right to try.

"Is this what people do" is Simon trying. It's him trying with Baz, specifically. Simon is scared because he and Baz are in unknown territory, and he cares so much about making things work between them. He knows how much there is to lose. He just doesn’t know what he needs to do to hold on to Baz. He doesn’t really have any idea what a healthy relationship looks like. I know I’ve seen discussions about how Simon never had proper relationship modeling. (@mostlymaudlin has addressed this and other aspects of Simon’s previous relationship experience with Agatha in this post that is highly relevant and I also just recommend it.) Yes, Simon has prior experience with Agatha, but he didn’t know what he was doing in that relationship either and he tells Baz that his experience with her doesn’t come anywhere close to his feelings for Baz. With Agatha, Simon saw a nebulous “happy ending” without knowing what that happy ending was going to look like, nor how he was going to get there. He has no idea of the reality of a healthy relationship or how to do the hard work to maintain it. This is what both Simon and Baz are learning in AWTWB.

When the refrain comes up, it's always in response to a milestone that Simon and Baz have crossed in their relationship, from (practically) moving in together to being intimate.

Simon is mentally taking a step back and looking at his relationship with Baz. He's looking at the things they're doing, as a couple. Things they've not managed to do before, or things they have done that he hasn't given himself the space to process—something he admits he never did with Agatha. Simon asking the question "is this what people do" encapsulates so much: Is this what life and love looks like for other people? For us? Is this what I'm supposed to be doing? What we're supposed to be doing? How do I feel about what’s happening now? What do I want to happen? Is this how two people love each other?

The ways in which the refrain shifts over the course of the book show us how Simon's thinking shifts as his relationship with Baz progresses. And at the end, the refrain has changed from a question into a statement. Seeing the first and last occurrences next to each other tells so much of the story of Simon's growth.

Chapter 38:

Is this what people do when they're in love? Do they just keep touching and talking? And then what? Like what is it all leading to? I don't mean sex, I mean…

If I knew what I meant, it wouldn't be so frightening.

I'm living second by second.

Chapter 82:

This is what people do.

They get close and try to stay there.

They stay.

They keep trying to hold on to each other...this is what they do. They keep trying.

…This is what people do. This is what we'll do. Baz and me.

…"Stay with me."

"I will."

This shift in confidence is subtle, but it is such a big deal! Simon has gone from not being able to think about the future at all to promising Baz that he will stay with him and keep trying in their relationship. He's answered the question for himself!!! He’s figured out how to try for Baz. The thing is, in the end, it really doesn’t matter what “people” do. It matters what Simon and Baz do, because they’re the ones who are doing this together, for each other. They have plenty of time to figure out how “what people do” is going to look for them.

Now I want to add some thoughts shared by RooBadley in the conversations we've had about "is this what people do". I always appreciate getting Roo's take on things, and I completely agree with them on this. (Do yourself a favor and check out Roo's AO3 if you haven't already.)

"the subtlety of [is this what people do is] a reflection of [Simon’s] queerness/a touchstone universal queer youth experience (is this what it's supposed to be like? I dunno, I've never seen A Person Like Me get to have a happy/healthy/normal relationship). Is this what (queer) people do? Am I doing it right?"

and...

"I've ruminated more on that statement as reference to the queer experience and I feel like there's more evidence to support that reading. we know he's had sex with Agatha (and he's woke/attentive enough to know about peeing to prevent UTI's, so clearly he knows what straight, penetrative sex is) and there's that lovely line at the start about Dr Wellbelove giving him the birds & bees talk, but leaving some things out (I love that bit) And he's so confident when he's talking with Baz about having had sex with Agatha, like, he knows what they did. It's just with Baz that he's suddenly in self-doubt "is this..." Land"

Reading this take from Roo about a universal queer youth experience definitely hit home for me. I think Rainbow did a superb job of speaking to multiple experiences with Simon’s journey and in treating that journey with so much care. I think it’s amazing that we get to see this part of the story, this aftermath and healing, because it really isn’t part of the established story arc we’re used to and it really should be. Like you said in your ask, Anon, we’ve all had lived experiences that help us see ourselves in these characters, and to watch them struggle and persevere and succeed is incredibly important.

If anyone has anything they’d like to add on, or another question to ask, as always, please feel free to do so! I will never get enough of talking about this book! ❤️

[missshezz]

Fandom Toxicity, Blackballing, Critical Analysis vs Hatred, and Filters (A Ted Talk by Scorp)

I have seen a number of posts on here talking about fandom toxicity and feelings of being unwelcome inside the fandom space. I can sympathize because I have been the recipient of that toxicity and witnessed it aimed at others.

Having been around fandoms like Star Wars since before the prequels came out (1999 folks), I know firsthand how toxic the fandom space can get. Back then, Star Wars was largely compromised of men. Most of the fandoms I was in were.

Women, like myself were few and far between (and I was on a few big SW forums at the time). Personally, I always got along with the guys. Never had them treat me as less of a fan just ‘cause I was a girl. Those rare few I didn’t get along with were basically assholes who were just that: assholes. Most of them got booted off the forums for being assholes. Everyone mostly got along and had a good time talking about what brought them to the forums in the first place: Star Wars.

Personally, I had problems with the females of the fandom. Most were combative, two-faced, manipulative liars. Wanted to be the Queen Bees in control of everything (news, role-playing, content creations, conversations, everything). In short, they were a bunch of Mean Girls.

They routinely engaged in something called “blackballing”.

What is blackballing?

It is telling others in a fandom to avoid someone because they don’t share the group thought/ship the popular ship/adore everything in the fandom or they just plain dislike that person for existing.

It is shutting the fandom off from someone out of spite, pettiness, childishness and selfishness.

In short: it’s fandom toxicity.

It’s also bullying.

I’ve been the victim of this bullying so I know all about it. I’ve been blacklisted in plenty of fandoms for not being part of “The Hive”. I probably will continue being blacklisted because I am a class A, unrepentant Thought Criminal. I apply the critical thinking skills that left me $15k in student debt to my entire life (not just fandom). I research for myself, form my own opinions, speak my mind, and experience no shame whatsoever about it.

I know what I like, don’t like, what works for me, and what doesn’t.

I don’t let others do it for me.

When I get into a movie or television program, I engage with the material (see above: critical thinking) and immerse myself in it. Mindless entertainment is fine. I have my junk entertainment (Ghost Adventures, Godzilla) but that doesn’t mean I am not still engaging with the material.

Mindless doesn’t mean I don’t still point out inconsistencies or things that annoy me.

Mindless doesn’t mean I don’t mock, make memes of or joke about things that are dumb.

Mindless means enjoying while still being honest in my analysis of the show/movie.

Critical analysis is not hatred.

Calling out writers for bad writing decisions, lackluster storytelling, poor characterization, and inconsistencies is not hatred.

It’s called passion.

You can love something and be critical of it.

In fact, I’d argue someone who is critical of something they love is someone who loves what they’re critiquing a whole lot.

If they didn’t love it?

They wouldn’t bother.

What people don’t have the right to do is bully, badger or belittle people for their opinion.

I have seen people ganged up on by these bullies and told to go kill themselves, telling them they deserve assault, their families should be murdered, their dogs throat slit… I can go on and on.

Simply, it’s not only fandom toxicity but despicable behavior from spoiled children who want it their way (even Burger King can’t cater to these brats).

Let me repeat what I said because it’s one of the takeaway messages here: you do not have the right to bully, badger or belittle people because they don’t follow your opinion, gush about how hot your favorite character is, how amazing your ship is, love this bit here, etc.

What you can do is use tags to filter out that content and focus only on the content you want to view or engage only with those you wish to interact with.

You can also unfollow someone or simply scroll by their post once you realize it’s not something you want to read or see.

You have no right to tell others to blackball someone simply because you don’t like them (or do any of the other examples I listed above).

You don’t own the fandom.

Fandom is for everyone.

We all get to participate in it, however we choose, and however we want.

The only time you should tell people to avoid someone is if that individual is abusive or dangerous.

If someone is simply speaking their mind, venting their frustrations or blowing off some steam about something fandom-related that aggravated them… let them.

It’s not harming you.

Fandom is for everyone.

Not just you and who you decide.

Build your corner of it and enjoy.

To those of you who have been victims of fandom toxicity, bullying, and blackballing, you are not alone. Others have experienced it, too. We’re with you and are here for you. Don’t quit participating in a fandom because of the bullies. Find people who share your thoughts and engage with them.

Again, fandom is for everyone.

That’s the other takeaway message here.

Thanks for reading, take care, and blessed be!

[jawritter]

Twelve Days Of Christmas

Chapter 4

Summary: Dean never realized that Y/N missed Christmas until he turned off an annoying Christmas song on the radio on the way home from a hunt, now he will make it his personal mission to give her the Christmas he misses so much, and if he plays his cards right, maybe he will give her what he has wanted to give her for so many years, himself.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Written For: @spnchristmasbingo​​​

Square Field: Donna

Word Count: 1513

Warnings: Fluff, hint of reader insecurities. I think that’s about it.

A/N: This is to help me catch up on my SPN Christmas Bingo card lol Chapter 5 will post tomorrow! I knew chapter will post every day until Christmas! I know I’m insane lol. This is a real time fic collection and all mistakes will be my own! Please do not copy my work! Hope you all enjoy these!!

**SERIES MASTERLIST**   **MASTERLIST**   **BECOME A PATREON**

One thing you learned about living with Dean Winchester in the time you’d spent living in the bunker was that there was always a chance for random, crazy antics to happen, and it was best to just roll with it; because once Dean got something in that pretty head of his there was no changing his mind. It was best to just let it happen, no matter what it was, no matter how crazy it was, just let him get it out of his system. 

When he came bounding into your room like a small, overly hyper child on Christmas morning, pounced on you like a tiger and then commenced to shaking you until you woke up with a start, proclaiming that you needed to get dressed so that the pair of you could get on the road, it was very obviously one of the times you just needed to roll with it. There wasn’t a chance you could sour his good mood. You would never forgive yourself, and he was evidently very excited about this trip. 

It was freezing of course, and if you had your way you would have been happy to just stay in bed, but it was something about that sunshine-filled grin of his plastered across that freckle dusted face that pulled you out of your warm bed, and into the Impala without much of an argument. The more awake you became the more contagious his evident excitement was, and by the time the pair of you had stopped for breakfast outside of the Minnesota state line, the anticipation was killing you, so you asked him again that morning for what seemed like the thousandth time. 

“Dean, what are we doing in Minnesota, and just where are we going? Did you find a case? If so I could have packed my own bag, you didn’t have to sneak into my room at some unlawful hour in the morning to pack for me before waking me up.”

Dean just grinned at you over his coffee mug, mischief written all over his face, and his eyes lighter than you had ever seen them. Maybe it was the shirt he was wearing, but they just seemed brighter this morning. 

“Not telling sweetheart, you will see in just a few minutes, we have to meet someone here, and then we will be on our way, but I will tell you that this is not a case.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could get a word out Donna’s distinct accent pierced the air from behind you, “Hey you two,” and Dean was on his feet engulfing the woman in a bear hug.

Donna laughed and swatted him off playfully, reminding him she had a gun in the process as you greeted her with much the same enthusiasm as Dean. It had been a long time since you had seen Donna, and it wasn’t under the best of circumstances the last time you all had been together. 

“How the hell have you been, woman?” you asked as she slides into the booth next to you, and the waitress brings her over a cup of coffee for her. 

“Great! Doug asked me out about a month ago, and between the occasional small hunt, my day job, and him I’ve been pretty busy. How have the two been? I admit Dean’s phone call at almost midnight the other night surprised me,” she said, smirking at the elder Winchester like they were sharing some great big secret. Dean just chuckled into his pancakes as they were sat down in front of him, the waitress setting an equally large platter in front of Donna. 

Donna was clearly a regular here.

“So, Doug finally coming around to, ya know, all this?” Dean asks with a mouth stuff full of pancakes, waving his fork around the table as if to state something obvious to anyone but listening ears from other patrons. Clearly he was trying to deflect the subject from Donna’s previous statement. 

“Yep, surprised me too let me tell ya, but he seems to be coming around. It’s always shocking at first ya know.”

“Well what about Jody and girls?” you cut in, cutting your omelet with one of the plastic forks in front of you. “I haven’t seen them since that hunt in Georgia last summer.”

“They’re doing great! I think Kaia and Claire will end up at the altar before long, and Jody isn’t excited about the new hunting couple talking about taking the big leap, she thinks they’re too young, but I think it will be good for them.”

“That’s awesome,” Dean quipped, whipping his mouth with his napkin, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before going back to the female version of himself who was stuffing her face with equally as much food as Dean. 

You personally had no idea how the hell she did that, you’d be sick for days if you ate that much sugar in the morning. 

The conversation flowed easily between the three of you, catching up on hunts, friends you haven’t seen in a long time, and just life in general. It was normal, it was nice. Things like this were a  luxury a hunter rarely ever got in this life, just a breakfast with friends, and if Dean had driven all this way just to do this with you, you would have been grateful, but when Donna stood from the table to hug Dean goodbye after hugging you, she handed him a set of keys, and said, “You two love birds don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” with a wink that made Dean blush, DEAN, and walked away, leaving you confused and staring at Dean with mouth agape. 

Your eyes met his with shocked amusement as he stuttered on the spot and Donna walked away cackling. When he saw you staring at him he recovered, clearing his throat and throwing his arm around your shoulders, leading you towards Baby, apparently determined to act like nothing had ever happened. You let it go. You knew you could really poke fun at him about it, but it was better to file it away under later blackmail.

“So, what’re the keys for?” you asked Dean, as he continues deeper into the frozen state, humming along with the radio as if he didn’t have a care in the world, it was an amazing sight. 

“For this right here,” Dean states proudly, pointing to what you quickly recognized as Donna’s cabin. Your eyes traveled between him and the cabin. 

“Really?”

“Yup,” Dean said, getting out of the car and you followed him, letting him take your hand and lead you into the cabin Donna had eventually warmed for the two of you once she knew you were coming. “This is day 10. We’re gonna be staying here, just the two of us until after Christmas.” 

You turned to him in utter disbelief at what you were hearing. You and Dean, just the two of you, for ten whole days? Could this be real?

“I thought you could use a real white Christmas, and what better way to experience that than a snowed-in cabin in Minnesota; lucky for you I just happened to know a friend who had one to spare.” 

You closed the distance between the two of you, throwing your arm around his neck and hugging him tightly, which he returned without hesitation. 

“Oh my God Dean! This is perfect!” you tell him, releasing him from your grip and beginning to look around the cabin. It was perfect, and with a little decorating it could be very pretty with some Christmas decorations, and if you could talk him into it, a tree. 

“Only thing is there’s only one bed in the place, but if you're uncomfortable sharing then I’ll take the couch.” 

Your throat closed up for a moment, and you swallowed hard to get your voice to work again. Dean Winchester in your bed was something you had always dreamed of, the question is could you survive it actually happening? 

You couldn’t make him sleep on the couch for ten days, and the bed was plenty big enough to share. 

“I’m okay with sharing Dean, It’s not like you got cooties are something,” you play, hoping to hide your racing heart and the fact that your mind had suddenly turned to mush. 

“Oh sweetheart, I think you like my cooties,” he said, winkie at you. 

Suddenly it was your turn to blush as a wide victorious smile spread across his face. 

“I’m gonna go grab our bags so we can get settled,” he announces before turning to disappear out into the cold. 

You look around at what was going to be your little slice of Heaven for the next ten days with excited apprehension. There was so much that could happen in ten days, but if you didn’t get your feelings under control for a certain green-eyed hunter, you didn’t know how happy of a Christmas you would be able to have when he flat out rejects you.

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Twelve Days Of Christmas Tag List: 

@440mxs-wife​

[itslieutenanthawkeye]

A Knight’s Oath

Day 6 of Jeankasa Week 2021: Royal AU

AO3

Sir Kirstein aids the princess of Hizuru escape a coup d’état organized by the marleyan Jaeger brothers.

There isn’t one inch of my body that isn’t yelling this is wrong, not one bit that isn’t shouting at me to return, to go back to my chambers, cover my ears with both hands and ignore that letter until the signal comes from within the palace. I came here to do a job: become her close guard, infiltrate the institution, take down the royal line.

That one job could have me swimming in silver. One job would be enough to buy myself that lifestyle I can only dream about. One job, and I could leave knighthood behind, buy myself a castle, a royal title and a woo wife to go with it. A pretty young wife with dark hair and big eyes and a whole army of servants to fulfill our every wish.

And yet here I am, walking with more purpose than ever before in my life, heading towards her.

Like most upper class Hizuran structures, the Azumabito royal palace is built atop a tall stone base. It’s an intricate maze of buildings, rooms and sliding doors that I’ve spent two years memorizing. I should know, better than anyone, how hard it’ll be for us to sneak out. Even if we do it without anyone being aware, even if nobody knows what the princess has found out.

“Jean, over here.” her voice calls from behind one of the doors. I follow like a bee searching honey. I enter the place where she’s been waiting for me and encounter her wearing the peasant clothes I procured for her a couple of days ago. She’s as lovely in them as she was the first time I saw her, sitting atop a high throne next to the regent, Kiyomi Azumabito, wearing a wonderful kimono of red fabric and golden threads.

Her mother, a pure-blooded Azumabito royal, fell in love with an eldian man, and in the process of marrying him, she also fell into disgrace and was expelled from the balance years before conceiving the princess. After a wave of plague that caused the death of the shogun and his closest relatives, however, Kiyomi had sent a contingent to bring back the princess’ mother to serve as regent until the princess came of age.

Stories say Kiyomi found a ten-year-old princess orphaned, living of scraps she found in the field near her home. Her parents were also killed by the plague. Some people say they starved, some others that they were murdered. However they died, the princess came back to the ancestral home of the Azumabito alone and Kiyomi took her into her care. Even I am aware of the love the woman has for her adoptive daughter, how much she cares for her safety.

It was her the first to find out about Marley’s plans to overthrow Hizuru’s royal line, of the spies sent by Marley in the shape of knights for Hizuru’s princess. It was Kiyomi who came to me, asking for help for the princess. She knew my involvement in Marley’s plans gave me a lot more intel than any other servant could’ve collected…and because she saw the way I looked at the princess that day our delegation arrived, two days ago, and how I’ve seen her every day since. She figured out quickly how much affection I carry for the princess and knew, barely one year after my arrival, that I would never leave her adoptive daughter behind.

“Are you ready?” I ask, putting on the peasant clothes, hiding the katana Kiyomi left in my room in the folds of my own hizuran clothes. “Your highness, are you ready?”

“I don’t want to leave.” She says; she’s turned away from me, giving me what little privacy she can while I change. “I can’t leave Kiyomi. I can’t leave the people of the palace behind.”

“Many of your servants are traitors, princess,” I remind her, tapping on her shoulder to indicate I’m decent again. A slight tremble travels her back and I curse myself; I’d forgotten how reserved hizuran people are when it comes to physical touch.

She turns around and faces me, resolution clear on her face. “Traitors or not, a ruler owes herself to her people,” she says, more dignified than any other royal I ever saw in Marley. “Traitors or not, I cannot leave them alone. And Kiyomi—”

“You heard their plans, princess,” I say, wondering how many times I’ll have to repeat the same thing to get her to forget that commitment to the people the Azumabito care so much about. “The moment the clock hits twelve, the guards will be at your doors. Zeke plans on executing you at dawn, on the morning of your eighteenth birthday. It’s either that or be forced into marrying his brother.”

“And I must let Kiyomi’s head hang just for the sake of escaping?”

“Mikasa,” I say; using her name feels strange. It’s a lovely name, but also forbidden. No knight is allowed to address the princess by her name, nor try to give her orders, let alone try to convince her to follow a plan she doesn’t agree with. The princess widens her eyes in brief shock, but nods, inviting me to continue. “You’re the last of your line. Kiyomi is willing to sacrifice her life for you.”

The princess lowers her head. “I can’t leave her.”

“If you can’t respect her wishes, at least do it out of pity for me,” I say, in a last attempt to get her moving. Time is slipping away from us, and Eren’s retinue must be making its way across the mountain roads already. “I’ve given up everything by just being here. If you stay, I hang with you, dishonored, tortured first.”

The princess looks up at me, her eyes stone-cold. “You came here under false pretenses, betraying mefirst. And now you’ve betrayed your country by being here. How can I be sure you won’t betray me again?”

Ah, how can I assure her without looking like a lovesick fool?

“I’ve served your palace for two years now, haven’t I?” I say. Mikasa nods, her gaze softening somewhat. In an act of boldness, or perhaps a leap of faith, I take a hold of her hands and fall to my knees. “I’m well acquainted with you now, princess, I cannot bring myself to leave you behind or betray you even if I should wish it.”

“Why, though, Jean?” she asks, and the mention of my name from her lips wraps me up like a warm blanket. Suddenly I remember again why I don’t care about the lost wealth, about that castle and title, about the group of nameless women I could’ve wooed into marriage. It’s her. Just her.

“Because you deserve to live. A great leader deserves to live,” I reply, bringing the back of her hands to my lips. I graze them briefly; a royal courtesy from Marley, never performed hereabouts. Royalty in Hizuru barely touches each other, and I can feel her trembling at the mere touch of lips against her hand. “I mean it when I say I won’t betray you, princess. I’m devoted to you as I haven’t been devoted to anything in my life. All I can hope for is that you believe me.”

“I believe you, Jean,” she says after a moment of quiet introspection. “I’m not sure why, but your face always seemed honest. From day one, even when you were scheming against me.”

I can’t help but to smile. “I’m willing to use my whole life to convince you I’m no longer scheming.” I say, standing to face her, holding her hand still. “Are you ready, princess?”

A sad smile adorns her face as she nods, and I’m forced to not focus too much on her face as we sneak out of the castle. Apart from being well-educated, she’s been trained extensively in martial arts and acrobatics, so sliding across the various rooftops of the palace and jumping from one terrace to another proves an easy task for her. She looks back at me at a point, her pale face illuminated by the moonlight, and I manage to give her a tight, ridiculous smile in encouragement.

I’ve seen plenty of women before, but she is by far the most beautiful sight my eyes have ever witnessed. But her beauty is just one of the things that have drawn me to betray my homeland’s coup d’état against Hizuru. I met her when she was sixteen, and I nineteen; these two years, I’ve seen her grow into a fair, kind ruler, one that cares more about the wellbeing of her subjects than the wealth of the family mines or the expansion of her land.

At seventeen, she convinced the council to abolish arranged marriages for women, recognize divorces requested by wives as legal, increase taxes for royals and establish a free education system for the entire country. I know she had in mind to establish free healthcare within her fifteen-year plan. All in all, she is a great leader.

Then there’s the fact that she’s extremely good at sparring. And I’ve always had a soft spot for women that are good with swords, especially women who can beat me in a fight.

I guess, in a way, spending my days with her, being with her…it all makes me want to be better. Before Hizuru, before the princess, all I thought about was ways of getting a comfortable life. My whole childhood, I’d spent it scamming people. Then knighthood had seemed a good way to find myself a relatively wealthy wife or become rich by taking down a king, or by plundering a town.

Just being by her side makes me a better man.

I want to keep being that better man.

I also want to keep seeing that pretty face of hers. I want to keep hearing her rants. I want to keep sharing my thoughts with her. I just want to be with her.

___________________________

Hizuru’s capital is surrounded by tall mountains. It’s thanks to my military training that I know which rivers the Jaeger brothers will use to invade the city, and which ones will give us safe passage to the sea, where a boat provided by the queen of Paradis Island awaits. Hizuru is a large nation, however, and the possibilities of our escape plan going sour are high. Still, I cannot let any of my insecurities show on my face. I took it upon my shoulders to protect the princess, to take her to her new home to keep her from being executed, forced into marriage, or tortured to death by the royals who had aided the Jaeger brothers conspire against the Azumabito.

By the time the sun begins to climb the mountains, we are miles away from the capital. And yet, we can hear the execution bells ring across the watch towers. Heads are starting to roll in the palace, the bells across the Hizuran Mountain Pass tell us, and one of them must be Kiyomi’s. Mikasa sits next to me on the motorboat, crying into her sleeves, leaning slightly against my arm.

“I’m sorry.” I manage to muster. “I wish I could’ve done more.”

She shakes her head, not looking at me. “Why did your people do this to us?”

I say the first few words that come into my mind. “Greed…I’ve never interacted much with the Jaeger brothers, but I know that the eldest wants power, and the mines in Hizuru are too rich to ignore. And the youngest cannot stand monarchies. He says people in them aren’t free.”

“Why decide to impose a dictatorship instead? What kind of hypocrisy is that?” she asks, although it’s clear she doesn’t expect me to answer her. “Why kill the council members? Kill Kiyomi? Our people are happy, and I wanted to work to make their lives better. I really wanted to. Why invade a foreign land that has rightful rulers with the excuse of freedom?”

“I wish I could explain it all,” I say, and the sight of the tear streaks on her face turns me into a rambling idiot. “I’m sorry, princess. I’m sorry I was with them. I’m sorry I didn’t do more to stop them. I’m sorry I came into your palace with—”

“You’ve already said you’ll spend your whole life making it up to me, won’t you? It is a promise, isn’t it?” the princess replies, and something inside me tells me she might be too tired to hear my apologies. She took the news of my original plan badly and stopped talking to me for a whole week, not being able to just look at me in the eyes, with fair reason. We spent so many days together with me as her guard, we became friends over those long nights of study, our few sneaky expeditions outside the palace, the times when I brought her street food for dinner in our chambers, the times when she’d sung for me and Kiyomi from behind a white canvas…

All those memories of friendship are stained now, covered with the mark of my initial plan to help the Jaeger brothers with their coup d’état. “I mean to fulfill that promise, princess,” I say, more convinced than I thought I would. “I’ll do anything to redeem myself from the initial betrayal.”

“What if I ask you to raise an army for me?” she asks, wiping the tears off her eyes with the back of her hand. “What if I say that you will prove you’ve redeemed yourself once you help me gain my throne back?”

Her face has acquired that solemn expression she uses whenever she addresses the council. And, like the council members, I cannot bring myself to say no to her. “I-I will try my best, princess. I do not have any influence, and I’ve no money to offer. But I will raise you an army, I will do my best.”

“Do you promise?”

“I could swear on my knight’s honor, princess, but you and I know I don’t have any. I’m a traitor to you and to my own homeland, remember?” I admit with an awkward smile, scratching the back of my head. “I’m lucky enough as it is that you trusted me enough to come with me.”

Mikasa smiles, then wraps my hand with both of hers. “There is one way you can assure me.” she says, her eyes not meeting mine. The sunlight is bathing us both; we’ll enter the lowlands soon, and speed will be of essence to avoid getting captured. Perhaps my concern for speed is what keeps me from realizing her face is dangerously near mine for the first couple of moments.

“What way?” I manage to stammer.

“An oath on your soul,” she explains. “It’s not a thing we do often here, though.”

“Is it like a blood oath?”

The princess shakes her head. “It’s something a bit deeper than that.”

I swallow hard, wondering if she’s going to force me to cut my finger off, or something worse. I don’t have any gripes if that’s what it takes to convince her I would fight to gain her trust back, but I can’t help being concerned about the health implications of cutting a finger off in the middle of a river.

“I’m not going to ask you to cut a finger off, Jean,” she half-sobs, half-laughs, guessing my thoughts. “It’s nothing as ghastly as that.”

“From the way you’re talking, it seems like a big deal.”

A soft blush travels her cheeks. “It is,” she says. “It’s a soul promise. We don’t touch each other here, not after you’ve left childhood behind. Let alone if you’re from a royal family. These oaths only happen behind closed doors, or at weddings.”

“What kind of oath is it, princess?”

“Kiss,” she says, closing her eyes. “You close the oath with a kiss, and your soul is bound to that person.”

“A k-kiss?” I manage to say, realizing at last how close she is sitting to me. If I must be honest, for the most part during my first year on the job, I paid little attention to hizuran traditions. It wasn’t until she started talking to me more that I began to care for the country I was hired to take down. And despite paying more attention to the country she loves so much, I have never heard of such an oath. Could it be that she just wants to feel someone else’s skin on hers?

A smirk appears on my face, and she seems to guess what thoughts are going through my head. She withdraws from me, narrowing her eyes dangerously. “It’s not like I want to!” she says, her cheeks burning red, her murderous expression only increasing my smile. “Stop looking at me like that!”

“I’m sorry!” I say, coughing to clear my throat. Her hands are still holding mine. “I didn’t mean to disrespect you, princess. Please, tell me about this oath.”

“No.” Mikasa replies, shaking her head. “You are clearly not mature enough for it.”

“Please, princess.” I say, and she gives me a serious glance before sighing in defeat.

“If you do it, it’ll be important. You cannot back away from this; you must fulfill it even if it takes your life. Your promise will be bound to your soul; and your soul is bound to me.” Mikasa hunches her shoulders and exhales, her eyes set on the mountains we’re leaving behind, her eyes longing for the warmth of the castle, the voice of her caretaker.

Her home crumbled in the lapse of a few hours; all her friends in the palace, her adoptive mother, the members of the council that cared for her…they’re all dead by now, or tortured, perhaps, to get information on her whereabouts. Kiyomi is probably getting the worst of all. And that’s when it hits me: I’m all she’s got left. Me, one of the knights sent to infiltrate her palace, gain their trust, and stab them in the back.

What a grim scenario that is.

“Princess, please look at me,” I say. She turns to face me, and my lips press against hers for a couple of seconds. When we part, her eyes are as wide as plates. “I promise I will not fail you.”

She nods, her hands clutching mine, her cheeks tinted pink. “Thank you.”

I let go of her hands and wrap her face with both of mine. Then, I press my lips against hers. This time, when we part, her eyes are closed. “I promise I am bound to you, blood, bone and soul.” I say, then kiss her again, a little longer this time. “I promise I won’t rest until you get your throne back.”

She smiles at me. “You’re splitting your soul into a lot of little pieces there.”

I kiss her again, and this time her lips move against mine, her arms wrap around my shoulders. Many times these two years I dreamed about kissing her –no, I’ve imagined doing a lot more with her, if I must be honest. But it was all fantasies, half-built while I looked after her during royal events, while I guarded her in her sleep, while we had our quiet dinners.

“I swear, my princess,” I say as we come apart once more, grazing her cheek with the back of my hand. “I swear my soul, heart and body are yours, from now until I the day I’m ripped from you.”

“That sounds a lot like a wedding vow.” She points out, holding my hand in place against her face.

I smile. “I’m sorry, princess.”

“Don’t be, please,” she says, then places a quick kiss on my fingers. “You can call me by my name from now on, you know. I’m not a princess anymore.”

“You’re always a princess, though.”

She shakes her head. “You and I are fugitives,” she says, setting her eyes on the mountains again, a fire burning bright behind the grey curtain of her eyes. She wants revenge; she wants to gain her throne, her homeland, back, and rain fire upon the ones who dared to lift a finger against Hizuru.

And all I want, I realize with a bit of embarrassment, is to keep her safe, stay by her side.

“I’ll raise an army for you, Mikasa.”

“We’ll raise it together. I believe in your oath,” she assures me, leaning forward to press her lips against mine for a long moment. “And I swear to you that when I get my throne back, I will give you all the lands and wealth you desire.”

“I could do without all that.” I say, shrugging, eliciting the first smile I’ve seen from her in a while.

I want to protect that smile, I think as our boat picks up speed. We’ll enter the lowlands in a couple of miles, and it’ll be a race to get to the ocean. The island is the only safe option for the princess now; the only safe place for the both of us. Despite my oath to her, all my mind can think of is a peaceful life with her. No luxuries, no armies, no grand schemes for power. Just the princess and I, sharing our lives in a quiet cottage by a river, hidden away from the world on Paradis Island.

It’s a fool’s dream, I know.

“I’ll keep you safe.” I assure her, giving her hand a little squeeze, hoping this isn’t too much touching for someone like her.

To my surprise, she squeezes my hand in return. “And I’ll keep you safe.”

[crushedbyhyperbole]

Indomitable

Pairing:   Sebastian Stan / Plus Size Reader

Words:  1.5k

A/N:  Written for @the-ss-horniest-book-club​ endless quarantine as long as there are prompts we’ll write them thingy, and a prompt from @prunes-said-bucky​.  I’ve never written Sebastian before, never really considered it TBH, since he’s not just a character to play with but hey, I gave it a shot.  Hope it’s not horrific.

Warnings:  Angst, body shaming, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, strong and confident plus size reader, emotional support, kissing and teasing, no smut.

There is a section that contains a list of body shaming comments.  This is a block quote with ######### at the start and end, so feel free to skip over those if you are so inclined.

***FINAL REMINDER TO READ THE WARNINGS FOLKS***

Sebastian slumped back in his chair.  The computer screen glared at him accusingly as bile rose in his throat.  He did this.  He failed to protect you.  His career, and the whole shebang that went with it; toxic.

There were good parts, hell, there were great parts, but this… this wasn’t one of them.  His fans were usually great.  Kind, accepting, fun, keen, and dedicated.  He loved Winter’s Children and gave as much of himself as he could while maintaining a balance that kept him sane.

You were part of that. Far removed from the lime light, you were a nobody.  A regular person.  Not tied to the entertainment industry in anyway other than being his girlfriend. The world barely knew you existed and he worked hard to keep it that way.

Until now.

“Hey, sweetie!”  You knocked on the study door after letting yourself into his apartment, peeking in to see him at his desk.  “You need anything?  I’m just about to make some fresh coffee.”  You smiled knowingly; he loved his coffee

“Oh, hey, yeah sure.” Sebastian scrambled to shut the screen off so you wouldn’t see what he was reading.  “Thanks, babe.”  He smiled back.

“Oooohh, was that porn?” You smirked, coming to stand behind him, resting your hands on his shoulders and feeling tension there.  “Discovering something new you want to try, huh?”  You teased a little to lighten the mood. Something had him stressed out.

He sighed, leaning his head back to rest against your stomach.  From there he looked up at you, past your boobs, with worry in his big blue eyes.

“I wish it was porn.”

“Skype audition not go so well?”  You massaged his taut trapezius until he moaned lightly, relaxing under your touch.  You slid your hands into the neck of his shirt, smoothing them over his chest, feeling the light prickle of stubble where his chest hair was starting to grow back in.  “Want to talk about it?”

He wrapped his hands around your wrists, stilling you gently.  The nervous lick of his lips concerned you.

“Oh, the audition went great.”  He sat up, swivelling his chair to face you where he tugged on your hips to sit you across his lap.  “It’s what came after that I need to talk to you about.”

You could see something was really eating him up but you let him get to it in his own time.

“I spoke to Elaine.”

“Social media manager, Elaine?”  You knew every member of team of people who Sebastian relied on in his career. Elaine had been with Seb for years, helping him managing his social media presence, and she was very good at what she did.

“Right.”  He stroked your lower back absently.  “Well, I called her because some pictures got out.  Of us.”

You knew he tried to keep you separate from all the media stuff.  He needed a safe haven, and he also didn’t want to ruin your life with paparazzi hounding you and gossip sites dissecting your whole existence.

“Of the other week when we went out comet watching and ended up getting jiggy in the back of your car?” You teased.

He laughed, scrunching his face up in that cute way you loved.  “No.”  He grinned. “Surprisingly, not that.”

“Phew,” you play acted utter relief, “thank heavens my tatas didn’t make it onto TMZ.”

“You’re amazing, you know that right?”  He squeezed his arms around your waist.

“Yeah, I know,” you beamed, “caught you, hook, line and sinker, didn’t I?”  You murmured into his hair, pressing a kiss there.  “What’s up?”

“I don’t really know how to deal with this, y/n.  It’s everything I’ve always tried to shield you from.”

You tightened your arms around his shoulders, reassuringly.  This really wasn’t like him at all.  “Just show me.”

 The pictures were fine. Seb and you, sat on a wall by the banks of the Danube, eating charcoal black ice cream in the sun.  Holding hands by the stalls of a street market. Him stealing a kiss while you laughed at something he said.  They were older photos from a trip you took to Romania the year before.  You smiled, remembering the fun you had there.  Seb’s boy-like exuberance as he rediscovered his country of birth with you.  They were great memories.

It was the bitchy comments that he was concerned about.

##########

Why would someone as hot as him be with someone like her?

Ikr, she fat

Who is she?  Nvr seen her b4

Not surprised we’ve never seen her.  I’d be embarrassed to bee seen with her too.

Pity fuck

Maybe it’s for a role.

Guurrrllll… Swap that ice cream for a salad.

She’s disgusting! Sebby what are you doing?!!!

Look at that fat body! What a waste of a pretty face…

Pretty? Lol pretty ugly.

What does he see in her?

He looks younger in this. Must’ve already dumped her fat ass.

She’s curvy?  Maybe he likes that. Not my cup of tea though.

Curvy like the Michelin man lol

Definitely not the right clothes for your body type sweetie… dress appropriately.

Lost all respect for Seb now UGH!

Look at that cellulite!

Seabass meets a whale lol

##########

You glanced through the comments.  Most were positive but some were brutal.  You could see why he was upset by these.  He cared a great deal about his fans but this was making him consider if it was worth the effort.

Sebastian swallowed nervously, looking up into your eyes.

“You’re worried about how I feel about this?”

“Of course I am.”  His tone was pleading.  “I love you.  I never wanted you to get dragged into any of this crap, but look at them!”  He was getting agitated.  “I’m going to tell Elaine to take it all down, I’m done.”

“What’s that going to prove, huh?”  You soothed.

“Nothing.  But it’ll be gone, right?  No more fan stuff if they can’t respect both of us.”

“I dunno, it seems a shame to deprive your good and loyal fans of their sexy seabass,” you winked at him, “besides if the things people did online got to me I’d have drawn a line in the sand at some of that filthy dirty fan fiction they like to write.”

“C’mon, y/n, I’m being serious,” he begged with his eyes.  “They can’t talk about you like this.  It’s shitty and they’re completely wrong.”

“Babe.”  You levelled a steady gaze at him.  “I don’t care what these people think.”  Stroking your fingers soothingly through his hair, you scratched and massaged gently.  “The only people whose opinions matter about any of that stuff are right here in this room, okay?”

Seb sighed and hid his face in your plush bosom, and for a while neither of you spoke.  He relaxed, breathing slowing until you thought he’d fallen asleep.  You trailed your fingers across the back of his neck and to the sensitive place below his ear.

“If you keep at that there’s going to be trouble.”  Muffled against your chest you could feel him smirking.

“I like trouble.”  You whispered with a cheeky grin as he lifted his head.

“Thanks for distracting me.” He stretched up to place a chaste kiss on your lips.  “I think I know what to do.”

“Oh?”  You chuckled as he scooted the wheels of the chair closer to the desk with you still in his lap.  You tried to give him some space but he held you firm.

“Stay put,” he shifted so you were stable again, “this’ll take 2 seconds.”

Sebastian fired off an email to Elaine, letting her know everything was fine.  You weren’t concerned by the comments but he suggested letting a few of his top most trusted fans to help moderate the official site.  Let them get invested in the two of you as a facet of his brand.  You were definitely here to stay.

He counted himself the luckiest man alive to have found someone so caring, kind and gentle as you, but also someone so confident and steadfast.  Your spirit was unbreakable.  You were his rock, the foundations on which he grew and thrived.

 “So, now that you’re done righting wrongs, what’s the plan for today?”  You asked sweetly.  “You asked me to sleep over on a work day, so…”

“Well, first of all,” he eyed you mischievously, “I’m going to reiterate how much I love every single inch of you.”

“I like the sound of that,” you simpered.

“Do you?”  He teased.

“I do.”

“Good,” Seb nuzzled your neck seductively.  “Then we’re going to go out to eat,” he nipped your ear with his teeth.  “I made reservations.”

“Sounds… public.”  You sighed, distracted.

“Don’t care.”

“Okay…”

“And then,” he pulled back to look you in the eyes.  “Then, I want to talk to you about getting a place together.”

“You had this planned? You kissed him between sentences.

“I did.”

“Seems rushed.”

“Four years is plenty long enough,” he murmured.

“Ok,” you smiled against his lips, “but I’m keeping my apartment.”

“Of course.”  He slid his hands into your hair ready to deepen the kiss but paused.  “Where else is all your craft stuff going to live?”

Laughter rang out as you swatted at him and he tickled your waist.  The world could do whatever the hell it wanted.  As long as you both had each other, there was nothing else you needed, and nothing you needed to prove.

[connorandersons-blog]

Kinktober Day 3: Prostitution, RK1K

Markus/Connor! Enjoy!

------------------------------------

Connor highly doubted this was legit, but the Mistress said it was, so he was going to go anyway. Some days it was hard to believe what he did for a living, but at this point, he tried to just focus on getting into character. 

That's never been too hard before, even with the most outrageous demands. As long as they paid good enough and respected his terms then he'd do almost anything. 

The hotel was the same as all the others he often visited. Actually, if his memory is correct (which it always is), he's been to this exact hotel seven times before. It was definitely more classy and he didn't even get odd looks from the staff, though they were sure to whisper about him and wonder who he was there for later. 

That was fine, let them imagine him draped over some old fat white man that paid him in hundreds for a single night just to get slapped around a little. Those men were the easiest. Most predictable. They were dominant in their social lives and needs to be treated like shit every now and then. 

He expected that for most of his clients. Some surprised him with their requests. It was always interesting when they wanted him to bottom. Sometimes that could be rather nice but there were also the men that made his skin crawl and need to take a very long hot shower after. 

It wasn't just men who hired him either, there were plenty of women or people of other genders. Most of the feminine people who hired him wanted to dom him, which he gladly let happen. 

He glanced down at his outfit, satisfied it was to his standards before unlocking the door and walking in. He had said there was no need to knock, so Connor didn't. 

He was fully ready for some random rich dude posing as his client but was surprised to see that wasn't the case at all. 

Markus Manfred, CEO of the largest paint store, and the CEO of a tech store standing in the hotel room, shirt off, and painting. It really was him. He was also painting. Which made sense but his brain was still trying to wrap around the fact that he'd have his legs wrapped around Markus Manfred tonight. 

Best. Job. Ever.

He was a professional though, and he easily pulled himself together, swaying his hips as he walked in. "Mr. Manfred, you didn't need to get all dressed up for me." He says. 

Manfred jumps and Connor has to contain an eye roll. Hadn't the dude heard the door open? He really hoped he wasn't going to be creepy. If he was then he'd get to bitch to Gavin about it, so there was that. 

Manfred turned and eyed him. Connor stood there, hip out, and let him. He gladly soaked in the attention, ready to do a fucking twirl if Manfred wanted. "Uh, just Markus is fine…" 

"Hello, Just Markus. I'm Connor, but you can give me a different one if you like. I'm partial to baby boy, or master depending on what you like." He added a wink at the end, but he had a feeling Manfred was more of a top. Hopefully, he had a big dick or a lot of stamina. Connor was lucky to be graced with both. 

Markus nodded, holding out his hand. Connor raised an eyebrow but shook it, not too bothered about the paint that had gotten on him. "Right, hello Connor. Um, not to sound like a dick… but do I know you? I generally have a really good memory, but maybe I was drunk? I'm so sorry, I don't mean to offend you." 

What? This was the right room, and definitely the right client. Maybe Markus wanted to play into this, but he seemed genuinely confused. What the hell was she supposed to do?! "I'm Connor, from Bees Love? You did set an appointment with me for the whole night." 

Markus's eyes go wide and he face-palms. "I'm going to fucking kill North," he grumbled before dragging the hand down his face. 

It's oddly adorable that Markus seemed to forget he had not-quite dried paint on his hands that were now on his face. "I'm so sorry, North said I needed to relax and sent me here. I thought it was just to get away and paint in peace. I'll still pay you, um, and tip? Do you take tips?" 

This was actually happening. And it was the funniest damn thing that had happened all week, and he had gotten to sleep with a very famous comedian. He burst into laughter, not able to hold it in anymore. 

"I'm so sorry, this is great!" He laughed, trying to take in air. "Yes, I do get tipped depending on how I do. Uh, I don't really have anywhere else to be. You sure you don't wanna sleep with me? I'm up for almost anything." 

Markus was looking at him kinda funny. A look he hadn't seen in a very, very long time. No. Nope. Big nope. He was not going down that rabbit hole. "Ah, no? But not because you aren't beautiful! You are, very much so. If you weren't a prostitute I'd sleep with you. Wait, shit, I didn't mean it like that!" 

Uh, so Markus was actually adorable. Too bad he wouldn't sleep with Connor. He'd probably be the best lay he's gotten all month. "No, it's fine. I understand. Could uh… can I stay though? I just wasn't planning on going back home tonight, I got a dog-sitter and everything. We won't do anything unless you want. I won't even talk." He was good at not talking, or talking. He could be good at basically anything if he needed to be. 

Markus fidgeted and Connor was ready to be told to leave. This would most definitely be his shortest appointment ever. But Markus surprised him once again. "Sure. Do you like painting? I've got another canvas." 

Connor shrugged and rolled up his sleeves. He could just get another shirt if this one got messy, it wasn't like he didn't have enough money. "Sure, I'm always willing to try something new. Makes the job easy." 

Markus snorts and looks around before pulling out a medium-sized canvas. "I'm sure it does. Alright, so there are these paints you can use. Go wild, I've got plenty." Markus said, pointing then out before picking up his paintbrush. 

He's never really painted and he had no idea what to do. Was he supposed to come up with an idea himself or maybe still life? It was called that, right? 

"Hey, you don't have to. I'm gonna pay the whole thing and tip. If you don't wanna paint I'm sure I can find something else. Food? Uh, tv?" Markus says, looking around the rather large hotel room. "I think there's a hot tub, and a bathroom if you need it. Just do whatever you want." 

Connor couldn't help the smirk. "What if I want to do you?" He watches as Markus's face flushed slightly. It was barely discernible but he could tell. Also how the fuck was this man so beautiful? It was completely unfair that he was so pretty. 

"I- um, thank you? I just, I don't want to pressure you just because it's your job. I'd rather get to know you first? I just, I guess I really do need to relax but it would feel like I'm taking advantage of you." Markus shrugged, staring at the ground. 

Of course, the one guy he fully wanted to sleep with, like would actually do anything, was giving him reasons he wouldn't. Yet it just made the want stronger. He hadn't felt this… whatever this feeling was in awhile. "Alright, well then we can get to know each other. Let's start off easy, who's North?" 

"My best friend. We were high school sweethearts but little did North know she was hella gay, so we broke up at the start of college. We stayed close and I even introduced her to her wife." Markus smiled so fondly it almost hurt to see. 

Would his friends smile like that when talking about Connor? Sure Gavin was friendly (in his own weird way and only after he made a complete ass of himself) but they weren't that close. The Mistress was his boss, and he'd like to think they were friends. Not like this though. 

He knew so many people, had slept with so many, and knew secrets they'd never even tell their dogs, and yet no one he had like Markus had North. It never hurt so much before. 

"Best friend," he said, clearing his throat. "So, I'm assuming you have more friends than just her then." 

Markus nodded, the smile still on his face. "Yeah, Josh and Simon. I also used to date Simon but… things happened. The only one I haven't dated was Josh, but he's also straight so it's not like I even ever had the chance. I met Josh in college, he was a professor, and I met Simon through work." 

Connor nodded, taking mental notes. "You seem really close." He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but by the look, Markus was giving him, he failed. 

"We are, but the situation pushed us together even more. If I wasn't supposed to be on my phone I'd text North to have them come over." He nodded towards the table where the phone was. 

Markus was really making this too easy. "Oh? Well, that's technically extra but I'm always up for an orgy, haven't been in one in a while." He smiled, tilting his head. 

"I- uh, no! No, I just, I didn't mean-" Markus rambled. 

"It's fine, I'm fucking with you in the only way you'll let me. So, if I'm just going to hang out for the night, who do you want me to be? I can be innocent, sophisticated… lustful." He said, stepping closer to Markus. 

Markus took a step back, shaking his head. "I just want you to be yourself. You don't have to do or say anything you don't want to, there's no pressure. You can even leave whenever you want without question." 

Oh. Himself? No one ever wanted him to just be himself. Sure he was asked for slightly different versions of himself but nothing like this. Not when Markus actually meant it. "M-me? Just, um, myself?" 

Markus nodded, smiling softly. "Yep, just you. You probably don't get a lot of time to do that, so feel free." 

Hm, fine. He'd be himself. "Mind if I use the bathroom then?" He grabbed his bag, and at Markus's nod went to the bathroom. 

He took off his lingerie, clothes, and contacts. Instead, he put on soft pajamas after taking a shower and put his glasses on. He didn't bother straightening his hair. If he was going to be himself then he was going to do it fully. He always kept these with him so he could slip into it after the job was done. 

He walked out, shuffling slightly and looking anywhere than at Markus. He'd never let a client see him like this, but Markus wasn't actually a client. Not in the normal sense. "Uh, you sure this is ok?"

He finally looked up and felt like running back into the bathroom and putting his other clothes back on. Those always made him more confident, it was like putting on a mask. He felt more exposed like this than he ever did naked. 

Markus made a small choking noise before trying to cover it with a cough. "Uh, yeah. You, yeah this is definitely fine." 

Connor nodded and dug around his bag again before pulling out a book and sitting down on the bed crisscrossed. He was a little over halfway through, but he hadn't had as much time to read as he'd like. 

"What are you reading?" Markus asks, going back to painting. 

Connor looked up then back to his book, a real actually blush forming on his cheeks. "Oh, uh nothing you'd be interested in." 

Markus turned slightly, raising an eyebrow. "Try me." 

Connor chuckled, looking up at him through his lashes. "It's… it's a criminology book? I was thinking about trying to be a detective if I ever got tired of this, but even if I don't it still fascinates me. My adopted father is a Lieutenant at the local police." 

It made him chuckle again when Markus's jaw dropped. No one would think his dad worked in law enforcement considering Connor's job. But in reality, Hank made sure he was safe and not pressured into anything. Plus Hank knew loopholes and even commented on how it should be legal so they can protect sex workers.

"I know, I know. He's actually really chill about it. Plus I make plenty of money so I can pay for college without going into debt." He had been putting away money for a while so he could live comfortably for the rest of his life. 

Markus nodded, "that's actually a good idea. I'm sure you'd make an incredible detective considering how intelligent you must be to be this good at your current job." 

"You really know a way to a man's heart." Connor chuckled and he meant it. Most people thought so lowly of escorts and prostitutes, saying they only did this because it was the only job they could do. When in reality you had to be quick on your feet and able to read people from just a glance. 

Markus shook his head, but he was smiling. "I just say what is true. You can put music on if you want. I don't know how you normally read." 

"Not in a fancy hotel with a man who won't sleep with me, that's for sure." Connor snarked before snapping his mouth closed. 

His worry disappeared when Markus fully laughed. "Ah, that's true. As I said, it's not that I don't want you. I just don't want to push you into anything." 

Connor sighed and leaned against the headboard. "I'm wounded, but I think I can survive." 

They went back to their own activities barely interacting unless Connor came across a particularly interesting part or Markus asked for his opinion. It was actually really nice and he found himself relaxing more and more. 

It wasn't like he had sex with every client. Some wanted him to be a date to an event, spend time with them for the week, or anything else. It wasn't always sex. 

Yet even this was different. There were no expectations at all. It was completely freeing. It just made his want that much stronger. Huh, that was a new turn on. 

It was late into the night when Connor started yawning. The soft sounds of Markus's brush strokes and Markus's humming was calming in a way he hadn't expected. He was warm and comfortable in the huge bed, and he was tempted to just fall asleep for the night. 

"You can sleep here if you want. I can take the couch or get another room." Markus said, making Connor's head snapped up. 

"Huh? Oh! No, no, no, it's ok. If anyone should take the couch it's me. You paid for the room, it's yours." He was most definitely not letting Markus take the couch. 

"No! Seriously you expected certain things and I didn't deliver. The least I can do is offer the bed." Markus whipped his hands and turned to face Connor. God damn this man was gorgeous. Could he be any more perfect? Maybe he had a really small dick and absolutely no stamina to make up for everything else. 

Connor huffed and closed his book. "Nope, not happening. The bed is big enough that we can easily share without bothering each other. I promise not to try anything." Just to show he scooted over and pat the bed. 

Markus frowned and looked around. "I...ok. let me get washed up first." Connor nodded and watched him grab his clothes and then watched as he went into the bathroom. 

The door closed and he let out a soft sigh, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He didn't want this night to end. He knew it was a bad idea to actually connect with clients. Sure you can make semi-friends but never anything serious. Don't get attached. He knew if he let himself he'd get attached in some way. There was just a connection. 

He jumped slightly when the door opened back up. Had he really been falling asleep?

He looked up at Markus and wanted to scream. The man was wearing fuzzy robot pajamas pants without a shirt. It was an odd combination of sexy and adorable as hell. 

"Do you have a side you prefer?" Connor asked ready to move to whichever side was needed of him. 

"Either is fine, wherever you're comfortable." Markus said, stretching his arms above his head. 

Connor nodded and put his book to the side, taking his glasses off. He wiggles under the blankets, trying to get comfortable. 

Markus walked around and climbed in. Like Connor had said, the bed was so huge that he'd have to reach out his whole arm to be able to touch him. 

"Sleep well, Markus." Connor says, reaching to turn off the bedside lamp. 

Markus did the same, and the room was flooded with darkness. "Sleep well, Connor." 

He falls asleep much faster than normal. Perhaps it was that the bed was just more comfortable, or maybe it was the company. 

When he woke up his back was pressed against something warm and soft. He knew it was Markus but he was still shocked. 

What was even more shocking and definitely welcome was the warm hand under his shirt and the very obvious hardness pressing into him. 

Markus was also most definitely asleep, and Connor sighed heavily. He was still half-asleep so it took even more in him to not press back. Markus definitely didn't have a small dick. Of course, he didn't. 

The slow and even breath on his neck made him shiver and close his eyes for a second. Then the hand was moving down and he arched into it. "Markus I swear if you're awake I'll murder you." He whispered. 

Markus sighed and moved his hips just slightly. Connor whined but tried to keep his voice down. This was so not fair. 

He was getting hard and he pushed back just slightly. Fuck. 

Maybe he could take care of himself without waking up Markus. Just get off then clean up. He could even leave right after so he wouldn't have to see how he'd react. He was off the clock so… 

He reached down, gently teasing himself. He should just do this quickly. He didn't know how long until Markus would wake up. 

The hand on him was so low but not low enough. It wasn't enough! "Fucking hell Markus," he whimpered. 

He increased the pressure but still didn't pull himself out. Not yet. He wanted to savor this. 

He tried to keep his noises down, keeping his hips still, and yet he kept pushing back. He wanted to touch Markus so bad. "Please. Please."

The hand on him stiffened and Connor froze. "Hm, Connor?" Markus says, his lips brushing against Connor's neck. Oh, that was not helping. Neither was Markus shifting against him, accidentally pulling him closer. 

"Do-don't." Connor whined, squeezing his eyes closed. He didn't know what he was pleading for, but he just wanted to continue so bad. 

"Shit! Uh, do you want me to leave? I'm so sorry." Markus said, trying to move away but Connor grabbed the arm. 

"You can stay, please stay. I want you." He really did. He wanted him so bad. He took Markus's hand and pressed it against his stomach. "You don't have to do anything."

"Fuck." Markus muttered, his hips twitching forward. "Are you sure? I… I don't want to overstep." 

Connor huffed rolling his eyes. "I don't wanna sleep with you just because it's my job, I want you to fuck me." He pressed back against him, sliding Markus's hand lower. 

"I don't know… um," Markus said, shifting again. His breath was fast and warm against Connor's neck. 

He wiggled his hips, pushing down his pants. He kept a hand over Markus's before taking himself and jumping slowly. "If, if you want to leave you can. But I will definitely not complain if you stay." 

Markus pulled him close and he could feel him. Oh. Oh, Markus wasn't wearing underwear either. Fuck that was hot. "Ok. Ok, I'll stay." 

Connor smiled and sped his hand up. "Yes! Yes, thank you." He babbled, tilting his head. He wanted Markus's lips on him. Thankfully Markus seemed to agree because soon Markus was pressing feather-light kisses to his neck. 

"You're so beautiful." Markus mumbled, moving his hand down lower to cover Connor's as he stroked himself. 

Connor bucked his hips, trying to get more. It wasn't enough. He needed more. "Markus, please." 

Markus nodded and pulled his own pants down, freely rubbing himself against Connor. "I've got you. What do you need, baby?" 

Oh, that was good. That was delicious. "You. Anything you want. I just need more."

Markus pressed hot kisses down his neck, nipping just slightly. Not enough to leave marks but it made him whine. "Are you sure? Connor… this isn't because of…" he trailed off. 

Connor turned and pressed Markus back into the bed, straddling him. "If you ask me that one more time I'm chopping your annoyingly large dick off." 

Markus's eyes went wide, and he placed his hands on Connor's hips. "Alright, I definitely wouldn't want that." 

"Thank fuck." Connor chuckled before leaning down and crushing their lips together. Markus's lips were so warm and just slightly rough from Markus chewing on them.

He rocked their hips together trying to get more friction. "Are you willing to fuck me? I can fuck you but I've been dying for you in me all night." 

Markus panted, nodding his head. "Definitely. God, you looked amazing yesterday, but then you changed and I nearly lost it. You looked so soft and fuckable." 

Connor whined, rolling his hips down. "Yes, yes please. I've got a condom and lube in my bag. I'm clean." 

Markus nodded and flipped them over which was way too fucking hot. Apparently, he noticed the shocked expression because he kissed him with a chuckle. "I work out." 

"That you do." He said he panted as Markus got off, grabbing Connor's bag and digging around. 

"Sorry, should have asked but I feared for my annoying large cock." Markus said, pulling out a condom and lube. 

"I used the word dick, but I think you can be forgiven if you hurry the fuck up." If he wasn't being fucked within the hour he wasn't going to scream and maybe cry. 

"My bad, my annoyingly large dick." Markus crawled back into the bed, moving in between Connor's legs. "Alright, how do you like this?" 

Connor spread his legs, getting into a good position. "However you want but I do require that I actually get fucked. Even if I come you gotta fuck me until I can't walk. Deal?" He offered his hand and Markus chuckled. 

Markus took his hand, shaking it before using it to pull Connor up and into a searing kiss. "I think I can do that baby boy," Markus mumbled before pushing him back into the bed. 

Connor let him, spreading himself even wider. He took deep breaths, easily relaxing even when Markus gently pushed against his hole. 

"There we go," Markus mumbled before pressing a kiss to his inner thigh. Connor whined, arching his back. His thighs were so sensitive and no one ever kissed him this gently, this lovingly. It broke his heart. 

"Markus," he sighed, eyes fluttering closed. Markus hummed and did the same for his other thigh. 

Then he was nipping at him, sucking slightly on the skin as he pushed his finger in. He would definitely leave marks here. For some reason, he didn't want anyone to see these marks or touch them. He didn't want anyone kissing them and trying to mark over these. These were just for him. 

Markus was so slow and gentle, but Connor could tell he was holding back. He knew there was an urgency and want behind every movement and soft touch. 

Yet Markus held back for him. It was odd being on the receiving end. Just being able to lay back and take just because he wanted it and not because someone was paying him to. This was for him as much as it was for Markus. He felt truly beautiful. 

Markus kissed his hips, using his free hand to gently run a hand down his side. "You're amazing. You're doing really well." Markus says, pushing in a second finger. 

He had had so many people that tried to rush this but Markus seemed to be genuinely enjoying it. "Markus!" He sighed, arching his back and trying to push down into his hand. 

Markus chuckled slightly, "so needy. How many do you normally need?" 

"Most stop at two." Connor says, mind fuzzy with pleasure and want. 

"I didn't ask what other people did to you, I asked what you need. I don't want to hurt you. So I'll ask again, baby, how many do you normally need?" Oh, that tone of voice was unfair. It was raspy and demanding and so very in control. 

"Um, three without too much of a stretch but for you… I, um, three. I wanna feel it." He wanted that burning stretch like never before. 

Markus nodded and slowly added a third finger. "Alright, I'll be slow and gentle. If you need me to stop or go slower at all let me know." 

"I… ok," he nodded. Markus was being so kind. Yet that hurt more than any physical pain he'd been in, and one rather angry woman liked to whip people. Wasn't the best night considering she didn't really like it when he asked for her to stop. 

Markus paused, frowning. "Are you alright? We can stop if you want." His hand paused and Connor felt like screaming. It was such an odd mixture of emotions. 

"Please don't stop! I'm, just not used to this." That was the worst description ever. 

"Wait, I thought… has no one?" Markus asks, pulling his fingers out. Connor groaned and instantly missed the feeling. 

"No! Yes, yes I've done this in the physical sense, but not," he waved his hand between them, "this? You're, you want me to feel good and you're taking your time. I haven't had anyone do this in a long time." 

Markus blinks at him before his jaw drops. "Are you saying no one ever pleasured you before? If they were too rough you… you could tell them to stop right?" Oh, this sweet, sweet boy. 

"Well yes, they still have to pay for my time, but it's different. I do get pleasure out of it, but it's never just for me. If I'm being fucked then the person wants me to be. I want this. I want you. And not just… you're kind, Markus." He said, sitting up and gently holding his face. "Kinder than I'd ever imagined. You could be the snottiest man on the planet and yet you turned down a prostitute who had already been paid for and was willing because of your morals. None of my clients would ever do that. I'd like to think some would, but they just need the release or a date. Someone pretty on their arm so they bought me." 

That didn't mean he didn't enjoy his job. He loved being pampered and could have as much sex as he wanted and get paid for it. He was living the dream, but it was also nice to have this. Something so soft and gentle, and kind. 

Then Markus was leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to his lips like he would break. And he loved it. He loved the way he cradled his head and gently pressed into him. He loved the calluses on Markus's hands as they intertwined their fingers. 

He was slowly leaned down back onto the bed, Markus's hands slowly searching his body. He had a few small scars from when clients took it too far, but Markus traced each one like he was a masterpiece. It made him shiver and whine, pushing against the hand. 

"You really are beautiful, Connor. All of you." Markus mumbled, pulling back to kiss down his jaw. He raised his other hand to gently card through Connor's hair, pulling at it just slightly so he'd tilt his head. He gladly did, sighing when Markus's lips trailed down his neck. 

"Hmph, fuck," Connor muttered, biting his bottom lip. This was too good. He doubted anyone will ever be able to compare to this. Damn it. 

"You don't have to muffle yourself, baby, I want to hear you." Markus mumbled against his skin. Connor was sure his entire body was going to be kissed and he was completely ok with that. More than just ok, really. 

Markus took his time finding every little spot that made him whine and buck his hips. He was almost in tears from want when he finally grabbed the lube again. 

He was still somewhat stretched so Markus started with two fingers, slowly stretching and exploring. "So amazing. I can't wait to be in you." Markus muttered. It was so quiet Connor could barely hear him. Markus had said that to himself, and it sent a thrill through Connor. 

"Fuck me! Please, I need it, you." He whined, rocking his hips down. Markus smirked and put a third finger in, moving his hand a bit faster. Connor whimpered and gripped the sheets of the bed, hips moving uncontrollably. 

He yelped when his dick was enveloped in the warm heat of Markus's mouth. He bobbed his head before sucking on the head, swirling his tongue around the top. 

Connor bucked into his mouth, almost choking him. He rambled his apology which quickly turned into pleading. 

Markus took him down again, hollowing his cheeks and running his along the underside. 

"Fuck! Fuck, stop I won't last much longer!" Connor begged. He wanted to come with Markus in him. It took Markus an agonizingly long time to pull off, licking his lips once he does. 

"Damn I could just do that and be happy. You make the best sounds. But I think I should give you what you finally want." Markus said, slowly pulling his fingers out. 

Connor quickly nodded trying to spread his legs even more (he is very proud of his flexibility, he has all of his splits). 

"How do you like this?" Markus asks, tearing the seal off the condom then throwing the wrapper off the bed. He easily slides it on and Connor is drooling. 

Wait, right Markus had asked him a question. That dick was definitely a blessing, Jesus Christ. He really wanted to suck on that but held back. "Like this works… I want to see you." 

Markus smiled and gently brushed a few curly strands of hair out of Connor's face. "I can do that." 

Oh, this was definitely gonna hurt and he couldn't wait. Thankfully Markus wasn't stalling either. He moved closer, carefully lining up before looking down at Connor. 

He took one of his hands and laced their fingers together before pushing in. Connor whined, squeezing his eyes shut and Markus instantly stopped. "Fuck you, I did not say to stop, you ass." He growled out. 

He heard Markus chuckle and Connor forced his body to relax. It was just a good pain, one he'd like to take every day if Markus let him. 

Once Markus bottomed out they both stilled, panting for air. Markus used his free hand to brush through his hair again, pressing a quick kiss to his sweaty forehead. 

They stay still until Connor gives a small nod. Markus slowly slides out and slowly pushes back in. It's too slow, he wraps his legs around Markus and pulls in back in roughly, sighing when it finally creates the friction he wants. "Yes!" 

Markus grunts, chuckling softly. "Fuck, ok." Then he sped up, rocking his hips at a fast but consistent speed. 

Connor rocks his hips in time, panting into Markus's kiss. He moaned praises and pleads, mind hazy. It was too good. It all felt too good. 

Markus's hands on him, keeping him down but also driving him insane. He took one and put it in his hair, which thankfully Markus completely understood. He tugged on just enough and Connor whimpered. 

It was also too much but not enough. He was so, so close. "Please, Markus I need…" 

Markus nodded, tugging Connor's hair so he could bite at his neck. "What do you need, baby?"

"I, I uh, I don't know." He hated how whiny he sounded but Markus just seemed to soak it all up. "Ah, Markus!" 

He hit the spot and Connor almost cried. "Such a good boy, good beautiful baby boy." Markus said, his hips spasming slightly. 

Connor choked and his vision blurred slightly, coming without any warning. 

His whole body turned limp and Markus groaned, his hips snapping forward. There was so much but Markus didn't stop. He was so sensitive but he loved it. 

"I'm close, baby, you ok?" Markus asked. Connor nodded, hips and legs trembling. He was more than ok. This was ecstasy. 

Sadly it didn't take too much longer until Markus froze and Connor wished he hadn't mentioned a condom. He wanted to be filled and maybe even plug himself so he could keep it in him the rest of the day. 

Markus took his time sliding out before taking the condom off, tying then tossing it in the trash. He flopped down onto the bed, pulling Connor to his chest. "This ok?" He mumbled. 

Connor nodded, wrapping himself around it. "That was the best I've had in a long time. You're amazing." He said, pressing a kiss to Markus's chest. 

Markus chuckled, gently soothing Connor's hair. "Why thank you." 

Connor hummed, closing his eyes and just basking in the warmth and happiness. He never wanted to leave his bed. 

He would have to, though. He'd have to forget all of this. If he didn't then he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about what happened or Markus. He'd never be able to forget the comfort of Markus's arms or the tenderness and adoration in the way he touched him. 

He hadn't even realized he started crying until Markus gently wiped away a tear. "Hey, you ok? Did I hurt you?" 

Connor sniffled, trying to hide his face. "No, you didn't. I'm… happy?" 

He was but he was also so sad. "I should probably leave." He said, pushing away from Markus. 

"Wait, what? I have this room until tomorrow. Do you have work?" He asks, running a hand down Connor's back as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

The way he seemed to completely respect that it was work. He didn't judge him for it at all. "I… I have to, I…" he trailed off, shaking his head. 

"You have to what?" Markus asks, placing a gentle kiss on his shoulder. "What do you need to do?" 

Connor roughly brushed his tears away. "I have to forget you. I can't… you're too good. I can't get attached. I'm sorry." He shook his head and stood, grabbing his bag and clothes. 

Markus was quick to follow him, tripling on a blanket. "Wait, Connor hold on!" 

Connor shook his head, trying to pull on his clothes. It was too much. This was all too much. 

He was quickly turned and pressed against the wall by Markus's strong hands. "Connor, wait." 

He ducked his head, hiding behind the strands of curly hair that fell into his face. "Please don't." He whimpered. 

Markus sighed, softly trailing his hands up and down Connor's arm, making him shiver. "Connor, hey, talk to me. I'm not here to judge." 

"I can't get attached, it's the worst thing to do in this profession. I can't stop just because someone I like asks me to. No matter how mind-blowing the sex is." No matter how beautiful and wanted it made him feel. 

Markus shook his head, brushing the hair out of his face. "I'd never ask you to stop. I… I'm not going to push you for anything you don't want. Maybe we can just be friends? There's just something about you." 

Connor knew exactly what he meant. It was like their bodies and minds were two puzzle pieces that fit seamlessly together. Friends. "I… I don't know." 

"We don't have to have any sex. Maybe just hang out whenever we're both free. I think North would adore you… oh, actually you meeting would be a very bad idea." Markus said, frowning. 

He tilted his head, "wait, why?" Wasn't she the one that had actually paid for him?

"I would not stand a chance if you two teamed up. Terrifying to think about." Markus smirked and Connor huffed. 

"Alright, friends. I guess we can start the whole no sex thing tomorrow." He said before leaning in to Markus. 

"So needy," Markus said, shaking his head fondly. 

"You love it," he whispered, pressing his lips against Markus's neck. 

"That I do."

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Darkstache - Seeing the Truth

A follow-on from the prompt where Wilford discovered Dark was colourblind. He’s determined to help Dark experience the beauty that is colour.

Word Count: 1,565

-

If there was one thing every single ego working in the studio could agree on, it was that Wilford was not the smartest of the bunch. He struggled with reading, had difficulties keeping track of time, had an unreliable memory on bad days, among other things. Which was why there was surprise when it was discovered Wiford was undertaking heavy research. Sitting at the desk in his dressing-room-studio, the reporter was immersed in work on his laptop. There was a notebook beside him where he attempted to write legible notes. Several drinking glasses had been conjured and emptied so he could work without the distraction of moving. Another notebook was open and drying on the radiator after some water spilled on it.

But if anyone walked in with the intention to see what he was doing, they were blocked by an invisible bubble. To Dark’s frustration, it included him.

“You know you can’t work on anything without telling me about it. As the company’s lawyer, I need to make sure what you’re doing keeps you out of legal trouble.” Dark folded his arms with an irritated expression. In response, Wilford pulled himself onto his feet, sauntered across the room, and slipped through the bubble barrier to take Dark’s hands in his own.

“Yeah, buuut Google told me that’s only if I’m workin’ on somethin’ fer th’ studio. This is a personal project that I want perfect before I tell anyone!” A seemingly simple answer had alarm bells ringing in Dark’s mind. Wilford always put his brainstorming on display for others. Why was he being so secretive? He tried to pull his hands away, but the reporter’s grip was too tight. “Ya gotta trust me, sugarplum. I’ve been workin’ hard like a little bee in here. Just gimme a little longer an’ I’ll show ya everythin’.”

“Will this be before or after you cause whatever trouble you’re planning?”

“Who said anythin’ ‘bout causin’ trouble?” Wilford was hurt by that, though he was quick to shake it off. “When it’s ready, yer th’ first person I wanna show. Promise.” He kissed Dark on the cheek and added, “Yer still free after work, right?”

--

When the other egos and regular staff had called it a day, Dark returned to Wilford’s empty office. To his surprise, the barrier bubble was gone, but the desk space had been cleared. There was no evidence he could see that might tell him what Wilford was up to. Wilford had actually remembered to shut down the laptop for once. This was certainly an unusual setting for the reporter who was terrible with technology. There had to be a clue somewhere that he wasn’t seeing!

“Babe!” Wilford’s voice made Dark jump. He spun around to notice Wilford had changed clothes to wear a faint blue (maybe) shirt, black trousers and white suspenders (he could tell those colours easily). “Thought I’d catch ya before ya left yer office. Ya ready ta go?” Dark nodded, crossing the room to take Wilford’s free hand.

“A basket?”

“Well, yeah! Can’t have ya gettin’ cold on me, eh? We got a great evenin’ planned an’ I want ya ta be cosy!”

--

The car pulled up at their normal viewing spot outside the city. Dark tried to weasel information out of Wilford, but the reporter was unusually tight-lipped. All he could learn was that the pair were sky-gazing. As much as Dark liked spending time with Wilford, he couldn’t help but feel Wilford forgot that Dark couldn’t enjoy seeing the day sky in the same way. Surely he wouldn’t need to ruin the night by having this conversation a second time, right? Stuck with indecision on what to do, Dark didn’t notice how Wilford sat on the picnic blanket and began pulling things out of the basket at first. A little vase of flowers, a notebook, some juggling balls, a small balloon, a black case… 

“Wilford… What are you doing with all this stuff?” Before Dark could sit, Wilford quickly scrambled back onto his feet.

“No, no! Not yet. Tonight’s a special night. Gonna be one of th’ prettiest views an’ I don’t wantcha missin’ it ‘cause yer askin’ why I have so many things with me.” Wilford wagged a finger playfully at Dark. A graceful bend allowed him to scoop up the black case and hand it to Dark. “A present fer my beautiful shadow.” Dark accepted the case, clicked it open, and frowned.

“... Sunglasses. At 8pm?”

“Well, yeah! There’s gonna be some big bright flashy thing of some sort tonight. Bing was ravin’ ‘bout it. I’m surprised ya didn’t hear ‘bout it!” Wilford had whipped out a pair of sunglasses and rested them in his messy curls. “Go on! Try ‘em on. Betcha look real handsome with ‘em~”

Something wasn’t right, but Dark couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Wilford was acting peculiar, like he was trying to distract the entity from something. Google never mentioned anything about events taking place in the sky. With all the random objects scattered at his feet, it could be Wilford’s way to pull attention away from some crime he had committed while out. That’s why he changed clothes, it had to be! Even with those worries in his head, Wilford looked genuinely excited. Dark never wore sunglasses, but maybe he could humour Wilford and play along. 

The glasses were put on.

The world exploded in a way he never could have predicted.

What was originally a murky mesh of blue, yellow, and grey had now become so much more. Everything was brighter, vivid, alive! He quickly lifted the glasses to see the world as he was used to, then dropped the glasses back down to see this new world. It was the glasses. The glasses were somehow letting him see colour in a way he never could have imagined and couldn’t possibly explain. The colours seemed to shift a little the longer he wore them, possibly as his eyes adjusted to it, allowing him to see so much more. A hand covered his mouth as emotions welled up inside him. Never did he think he would ever see something like this in his entire life.

“Ya doin’ okay?” Wilford’s hand gently squeezed his shoulder. Dark nodded.

“I… I’ve never seen colour like this before. It’s beautiful… I thought you brought me here because you forgot.”

“Nah. I wrote it down when ya told me. This is what I’ve been workin’ on all week that no one knew ‘bout. I wanted ta help ya see colour. These glasses were th’ best way ta do that. Bet it must be weird fer ya.” 

“I never would have guessed how many types of green there are. It all looked the same, but the leaves on the trees and the grass all look so different…” He turned to face Wilford, only to trail off as he took in the sight of his boyfriend in full colour for the first time. He was wearing a purple shirt, not a blue one! Wilford could see the emotion in Dark’s eyes through the tinted lenses as the entity’s hand reached up to Wilford’s face. “... Is that pink? Your moustache… It’s brighter than I could have imagined.” Tears finally slipped underneath the glasses as he laughed. “It’s perfect for you. I can’t stop smiling as I look at it. Oh! I never even realised it was in your hair either! I thought your hair was all one shade!” Fingers looped strands of pink locks to examine them better. “I knew I was right to think of you when I tried to imagine what ‘pink’ looked like.”

“Ya can admire me an’ my pretty pink all ya like later…. But turn ‘round again. I think y’ll like what yer ‘bout ta see.” Wilford kissed Dark on the nose before encouraging the entity to spin back the way he was originally facing.

There, in all its majestic glory behind them, was a sunset. With the distraction of the glasses, enough time had passed for the sun to dip low enough below the horizon. Dark slipped an arm around Wilford’s waist and held on tightly as he took in every inch of the evening sky.

“I knew it was yellow, I knew it was blue, but all the colours in between… No wonder you were always so excited to look at sunsets. I could stare at this all night if I could. I’m seeing colours I never knew existed before. It’s perfect.”

“I thought y’d say that. I try ta keep a diary ta help me remember things so I thought, ‘why not do th’ same fer you’?” A spiral-bound notebook was passed to Dark, open on a page that had coloured squares labelled. “I made ya a little chart so y’d know what colours are what.” A simple gesture had the emotions bubbling over all over again as Dark hugged Wilford tight.

The pair would sit in silence and enjoy the full beauty of the sunset. Wrapped in a purple and white blanket, Dark was given all the time to process what he was seeing. Later, the pair would use the notebook to show Wilford what Dark could now see in the random assortment of items that dotted the blanket as they undertook a masterclass of colour.. But for the moment, seeing the beauty of a colourful world took priority.

---

Note: For those who might be curious, I highly recommend checking out EnChroma, who do indeed make glasses to help those who are colourblind. There are plenty of video reactions to people wearing them for the first time if ever you need to rediscover your appreciation of colour.

[lovemesomesurveys]

What do you waste your time doing the most? Lounging in bed switching between social medias and watching TV. I’ve wasted so much time these past few years doing absolutely nothing. :/ Have you ever been back-stabbed? Yes.

If you could be anything, what would you be? Healthy.

If you could be any Tv show character, who would you choose to be? Hm. I don’t know.

If you switched genders for one day, what would you do? Let’s be real, I wouldn’t do anything different. I’d do the same things I do everyday but as the opposite sex instead.

What power would you choose to have if you were superhuman? Is there a healing power?

What stereotype/clique would you say you are more like? I don’t know.

How do you handle being under pressure? Not well.

What does your phone cover look like? It’s clear and has Winnie the Pooh sitting in a honey jar underneath a tree branch with a beehive hanging off it and some bees buzzing around him. 

Have you ever done anything illegal? If so, what was it? I’ve downloaded music, movies, and books back in the day like a lot of people did. Real rebels.

What is the perfect weather to you? Fall weather.

If you were a stripper, what would your stage name be? Nah.

What is your favorite holiday, why? Christmas. I love that time of year.

What is your least favorite bug? Um, ALL of them.

What is your favorite thing in the opposite sex? Guys with a good sense of humor.

What is your biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, death, getting worse/never getting better.

What is something your looking forward to? There isn’t anything currently.

If you could live on any planet, which one would you choose? I’ll just stay here on earth.

What is your favorite junk food? Little Debbie snack cakes, brownies, donuts, cheesecake, cookies, cupcakes.

If you could have any animal as a pet, which one would you choose? I like just having a doggo. I wouldn’t want an exotic animal or something.

What is your favorite time of the day? When I’m drinking my coffee and my nighttime routine.

What name do you wish you had? I’m fine with the name I have.

What would your dream home be like? Spacious enough for 4 adults and a doggo, hardwood flooring, a balcony, big backyard with a deck.

What is your favorite color? Pastels, rose gold, sea foam green, coral, and yellow.

Where is your favorite place to be? In bed.

What is your favorite fruit? Bananas. What is something your embarrassed about? Myself--how I look, the way I am, and where I’m at in my life.

What is one thing you'd like to be the best at? I just wish I was actually good at something.

Ever been on Chatroulette? Yeah.

What is the song that you know every single word to? There’s many.

Most painful memory? There’s a lot of those as well.

What is your favorite place in the whole wide world? I love being at the beach watching and listening to the ocean waves crash in and out, as well as feeling and smelling the ocean air.

A word that to you is impossible to spell? Onomatopoeia. Not impossible, but I definitely need to stop and think about it first. <<< Omg, same. I can never seem to remember how to spell for some reason.

What's something that you collect? Giraffe stuffed animals and knickknacks and Baby Yoda stuff.

Listener or Talker? Definitely a listener.

Thing you hate the most about the opposite sex? There’s things I don’t like about people in general, like close-mindedness and people who are very opinionated and judgmental.

Could have anything you wanted right now, what would you have? Good health.

Scariest movie you've ever seen? Hmm. I don’t know what movie I’d give the scariest movie I’ve ever seen title to. 

What is the most awkward moment you've been in? My life.

A memory you'll never forget? Many memories with loved ones.

One of your quirks? I don’t know.

What type of phone do you have? An iPhone 12 Pro Max.

Favorite quote or saying? There are plenty that I’m able to relate to. <<<

Something you wanna do before you die? ”Live” sounds good. <<< !!!

What is a habit of yours? Picking at my nails. Look around you.. What is the thing you like the most around you? All my giraffe stuffed animals and my Baby Yoda plushies.

Favorite possession? All my things.

Favorite shirt? All of ‘em.

What is the name of your best friend? She’s Mom to me.

What is your favorite shoes? My pairs of Adidas. Least favorite singer? Hmm.

Something you love and hate at the same time? Food.

Are you one of those people who don't like to admit when their wrong? I can admit when I’m wrong and I’m wrong a lot. I’m always quick to blame myself for everything, too.

Girls who try too much are annoying.. Aren't they? Anyone tries too hard can sometimes end up coming off annoying or obnoxious and it tends to just backfire. 

What color makes you relax? Colors don’t help me relax.

Are you an awkward type of person? Yep, that’s me.

Is it hard for you to make friends? I never had a problem getting along with people, but I had more acquaintances than friends. I’m just not a people person, I’m not someone people gravitate to or someone everyone wants to get to know. I’m really just not that interesting or make much of an impression.

How would you like to leave this earth? Painlessly.

What do you find stupid but most people like? Modern sitcoms I feel like.

What is a hobby you have? I love to read.

What's your plans for next weekend? I don’t have any.

Have any big dreams? What are they? No. :/

Restaurant that is horrible. Hmm. I haven’t had a horrible experience at a restaurant.

Have a fetish for anything? No.

Do you like long or short surveys? Long.

What age did you stop playing with dolls or action figures? Like 10 or 11.

Do you think your more mature then most of yours friends? I don’t have any friends, but I feel like everyone I know in my age range is more mature and adult than me. My 22 year old brother is more mature than me. 

Like labels? For certain things.

Does your school have cliques? --

Do you enjoy running? No.

Something that you are horrible at but wish you were good at. Living, adulting, stuff like that.

A sport you think is dumb? I’m not interested in any sport.

What is your favorite food? Ramen, garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings from Wingstop, and scrambled eggs and biscuits smothered in country gravy.

Ever think about what it would be like to be someone else? Yeah. Night owl or Early Bird? Both since I don’t even go to bed until like 7 or 8AM. Lately, it’s been later. :/ If I’ve actually gone to sleep and I have to get up early, however, then I have a hard time. What celeb would you not mind meeting? Alexander Skarsgard. What's your favorite Tv channel? My TV is generally either on TV Land, CMT, The Hallmark Channel, or MTV.

Have texting? Yeah.

You have 3 wishes. What are they? Good health, financial stability, and more wishes. ha.

What did you first think about when you woke up? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, it’s 1:27AM.

What's the last thing you thought about before you went to sleep? ^^^

What do you want to be when you grow up? Or what are you? I’m 31 and still have no idea.

Like cartoons? Which one is your favorite? I still like some of the cartoons I watched as a kid such as Rugrats, Doug, and Hey Arnold.

Do you watch what you eat? No.

Have a favorite number? What is it? 8.

Are you quiet or loud? I’m a quiet person.

Were you an annoying baby? Not from what I’ve heard from my parents.

Worst subject? Was always mathematics. <<<

Best subject? Was English Language Arts. <<<

What's your favorite brand of shoe? Adidas.

What's your favorite month? Why? October and December. I love the weather and the holidays.

Favorite season? Fall and winter.

Least favorite holiday? Valentine’s Day.

Do you try new foods or do you stick with what you know you like? I stick to the same few foods now because of appetite and eating issues.

Love pictures or hate them? I like taking them and looking at them, but not having mine taken.

Have you ever thought about going to Fiji? I certainly wouldn’t be opposed. 

What's your favorite movie character? I have several.

Have any nicknames? What are they? Steph and Sis.

Who do you miss? Loved ones who have passed away.

Someone have your heart? Just me.

Have any sports you love? What are they? Nope.

Do you keep to yourself or are you out there? I keep to myself. 

What's your outlook on life? It’s been rather bleak the last few years. What is the prettiest object/person/landscape/anything that you have seen? That’s hard to choose. 

Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? No, it’s more covered up by the sleeve.

What's your style? Very casual and comfortable consisting of leggings and oversized graphic tees.

Did you like this survey? Cause I might make more! Sure. Too bad I won’t know if you make or have made any more because I don’t know who you are.

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: Kiss Twenty-Six

Read it on AO3: Serendipity: Fifty Marichat and Adrienette Kisses: ...lazily.

“I have an idea,” Marinette announced as they sat at the kitchen table staring down at the chessboard between them.

“I should hope so;” Adrien snickered, “otherwise, I’m going to checkmate you in two moves.”

“No.” She looked up. “I meant…about your father.”

Adrien quirked an eyebrow, puzzled. “Ohime-sama, I’m afraid you’re going to have to be a bit more specific. Are we talking about how my father is controlling or how he’s too busy to be bothered with me or the fact that he doesn’t want us to go public about our relationship or that he’s too hung up on my mom still to admit that he has feelings for Nathalie or—”

“—About his opposition to us publicly dating,” she cut him off before he could really get started. “I can see his points about people accusing me of gold-digging and trying to get an advantage in the fashion industry, and I know that he’s right that it will be a lot of unwanted attention for me and I’ll probably get hate mail from your fans and people will invade my privacy and all that, but…I also know how important it is to you for us to be official so we can attend events as a couple and go on over-the-top romantic dates and get some of your rabid admirers to simmer down.”

“So what are you thinking?” he prompted, head tipping to the side in curiosity.

Her mouth stretched into an impish smirk. “We force his hand.”

He went owl-eyed at the thought of getting Gabriel Agreste to do anything he didn’t want to do. “Oh? And how are we going to accomplish that?”

“We get the media to declare us a couple. It’s not our fault if people see us out together and make assumptions,” she reasoned innocently.

A wide grin spread across Adrien’s lips. “Like that time we went to see my mom’s movie together.”

“Only not in my pyjamas this time,” Marinette groaned, remembering the months of humiliation she’d suffered through as a young teen.

“Your pyjamas were adorable,” he assured. “I saved those pictures of us, you know.”

She lost her train of thought as she gaped at him. “You did?”

“Mmhm.” He nodded with an embarrassed smile, cheeks warming. “I mean, it was really a big deal that you ditched your plans with the girls to help me get to the theatre to see the movie. It meant a lot to me, and I enjoyed running around Paris with you. That day was full of good memories, so I wanted a souvenir…. And…I mean…as previously discussed, I think I’ve always been a little bit in love with you, even if I didn’t know it, so…”

He looked up and shrugged, the picture of cherubic wholesomeness.

“You are the most precious,” Marinette cooed, leaning forward to kiss him and knocking over the chess pieces in the process.

When they pulled back, they looked down at the carnage of pawns, rooks, knights, and bishops.

“Well, I mean…you were going to checkmate me in two moves anyway,” Marinette reasoned. “Let’s just say that you won.”

Adrien pursed his lips, deliberating for a moment before deciding, “That’s fair. So what’s your grand plan to get the media to declare us dating?”

“Well…” Marinette quickly set the chess pieces back up in their starting positions and got out her phone. “Take a selfie with me.”

“O…kay.” He shrugged and did what she asked, smiling brightly and wrapping an arm around her, head tipping in towards hers, even though he wasn’t sure what this had to do with the plan.

Marinette quickly uploaded the picture to her Instagram and added the caption, “Hanging out with my good friend @adrienagrestebrand”.

She turned to him and smiled toothily. “We play innocent, but if enough pictures of us in couple-like situations start circulating online, people will talk. If enough people talk, it will eventually become something your father will have to publicly address. Maybe he’ll go on the record as saying that we’re not a couple, but if pictures of us acting like a couple keep popping up, no one will believe him, and we win.”

Adrien’s eyes went as wide as his smile as he shook his head and beamed at his ingenious girlfriend. “You are the most clever, amazing person ever. This is wonderful, Marinette!”

“I’m glad you approve,” she chuckled, looking pleased with herself. “I know it’s been bothering you this past month, us still being a secret and not able to publicly date, so…I’ve been trying to come up with a solution.”

He took her hands in his and gave them a squeeze, staring into her eyes with pure adoration. “Ohime-sama, you are the best. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

A hint of concern came into his gaze, turning his exhilarated expression into a worried frown. “…Are you sure you want to do this, though?” he inquired tentatively, not wanting to dissuade her but knowing that he had to be honest. “My father does have a point about people who are going to invade your privacy and send you death threats and call you an opportunist gold digger. Life in the public eye kind of sucks, and I don’t want you diving into this for my sake thinking that it’s going to be okay because it’s not, Marinette. Dating me and dealing with all of that is going to be awful and scary and—”

“—It’s not dating you that’s going to be bad,” she quickly corrected. “Dealing with your fans and the media is what’s going to be awful. Dating you is a dream come true, Adrien, and definitely worth whatever I have to put up with.”

“Oh,” he breathed, stunned by the certainty of her response.

“I’m sure about this,” she insisted with a dazzling smile. “You are one of the few things in my life I’ve always been sure about.”

“Oh,” he repeated, his face hurting he was smiling so hard.

She leaned in to give his cheek a kiss. “I’m going to work with our friends to make this happen. We’ll hit it really hard throughout the week, and, then, next Saturday we’ll strike the finishing blow. You’re free for the day until your interview with Nadja in the evening, right?”

He blinked at her curiously. “Yeah. Why?”

 The following day, Marinette kidnapped Adrien to take Jagged Stone’s crocodile Fang out for a walk around the Square de la Tour Saint-Jacques. They took photos cuddling Fang on one of the blue benches with the tower in the background and Fang licking their faces and them laughing together and posted them on their Instagrams with tags talking about how fun it was spending time with such a good friend.

Jagged took some pictures and posted them on social media too, and the general public got plenty of shots of Adrien Agreste and a girl who looked somewhat familiar even if they couldn’t place her walking a famous crocodile.

Monday, Alya just so happened to take some pictures of Chat Noir for the Ladyblog that captured Marinette and Adrien having a picnic in the Place des Vosges in the background.

That same day, Adrien’s Instagram featured photos of the macarons from the picnic and a shoutout to Tom and Sabine’s.

Tuesday, Marinette and Adrien posted photos of their Chemistry study session along with captions about how learning was more fun with a friend.

Wednesday, Chloé posted photos of her newest Queen Bee-inspired manicure with the Pont des Arts as the background.

Clearly, between Chloé’s thumb and index finger, Adrien and Marinette could be seen standing at the railing of the bridge, laughing and smiling at something one or the other had said.

Thursday, Kitty Section updated their website to include new pictures in their photo gallery. One didn’t have to look all that closely to spot Marinette and Adrien in the background.

He had his arms around her as they stood at the keyboard and he positioned her hands to show her how to play the instrument.

Jagged Stone and Clara Rossignol included links to the Kitty Section site in Twitter posts.

Friday, an anonymous source sent a picture of Adrien and Marinette sitting on the school steps, holding hands to the president of Adrien’s fanclub, and “#Who is Adrien’s New Girlfriend?!” started trending.

 On Saturday, Adrien met Marinette at the Trocadero for the grand finale.

“So, what’s the plan, Boss?” he greeted as she came trotting up to him.

“I’m finally going to take you on that ridiculously romantic date you’ve always wanted,” she informed as she touched her cheek to his for the usual air kisses to either side of his face.

“You’re going to what now?” He stared at her in amazement, afraid to believe that the day had actually come.

Just then, a pedicab pulled up to the curb, and Marinette smirked. “Our ride’s here.”

Adrien’s jaw dropped. “We’re going on a romantic rickshaw bicycle ride?”

She laughed fondly at the excitement on his face and nodded. “Yep. Come take a selfie and post it on your Instagram with a caption about how you’re spending the day with one of your best friends and you’re so glad that we’re friends and all that.”

Adrien happily acquiesced.

Their pedicab took them down along the Seine and past the Grand Palais, Petit Palais, Place de la Concorde, Tuileries, and the Louvre on their way to the Pont des Arts.

Adrien took a few more shots for his Instagram en route, including several with his arm around Marinette’s shoulders, their faces close together to fit in the frame.

“You know,” Marinette chuckled as she snuggled up to Adrien, “I’ve had this romantic bike ride scenario planned out for years now.”

“What?” he laughed incredulously. “Seriously?”

“Yes.” She gave his arm a light smack. “I seriously have. Remember my ridiculous crush on you?”

“I still can’t believe you liked me,” Adrien snickered, shaking his head in awe. “I could have had you this whole time if I weren’t such an oblivious dimwit.”

“Be nice,” Marinette scolded.

“No,” Adrien pouted. “I’m seriously angry at myself. If I had gotten a clue back then, I could have had the most awesome girlfriend on the face of the planet. Instead, I spent my youth feeling like an unlovable screwup. I will never forgive myself,” he snorted, only half joking.

Marinette leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his jaw. “You’re very lovable and definitely not a screwup,” she whispered, hoping their cyclist-driver was concentrating on the road and the music playing through his earbuds rather than their conversation.

“Tell me about this romantic bicycle ride scheme fourteen-year-old Marinette came up with,” Adrien entreated. “That will cheer me up and make me forget what a loser I am. I love fourteen-year-old Marinette’s schemes. They’re brilliant. Marino is my favourite so far.”

Marinette cringed. “Fourteen-year-old Marinette’s schemes were horrendous, shameful failures…but if it’ll make you feel better… The plan was for Alya, Rose, Juleka, Mylène, and Alix to help me make it so that your bodyguard couldn’t park where he was supposed to pick you up after a photoshoot.”

Adrien arched an eyebrow and gave her a devious smile. “And then you were going to lie in wait for me to sweep me off my feet with a romantic rickshaw bicycle ride?”

Marinette nodded, shrugging hopelessly. “We were going to ride to the Pont des Arts to get soulmate ice cream from André, and Alix was going to throw rose petals to create the right atmosphere.”

“I would have loved that,” Adrien whispered, touched that she had put so much thought and effort into a surprise for him.

Marinette shook her head. “You would have had fun, but you wouldn’t have appreciated it as much as you do now. You didn’t see me in a romantic light back then, so it just would have been a memorable outing with a friend.”

Adrien reached down and slipped his hand into hers. “You have no idea how special all those times spent hanging out with you were to me. I grew up bored and lonely, so your friendship really was—is—a precious gift. Things don’t have to be seen in a romantic light to be meaningful…and it would have really meant a lot to take a bike ride and get ice cream with you.”

“Oh,” she breathed softly, admiring the soft glow he seemed to emit. She nodded, feeling like she understood better now.

“So what happened with the scheme?” He pulled her attention back to the present. “Why didn’t I get my romantic rickshaw ride and André’s ice cream?”

Marinette sighed. “Oh. I don’t know. Maybe the plan was a little too overly complicated. There was some miscommunication. Things didn’t play out the way I’d planned. There was an akuma attack. You know. The usual.”

Adrien winced. “Ouch. I’m sorry. That really sucks, especially when you put so much effort into planning everything.”

“Oh, it gets worse,” Marinette groaned. “I ran into you after the akuma attack, and you offered to give me a ride…and I told you no because I was going to get couscous.”

He stared at her openmouthed. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” she grumbled bitterly.

He tried not to laugh but ultimately failed. “I don’t remember this at all.”

“Thank God for small mercies,” she mumbled. “I hated myself for days after that.”

“You really couldn’t talk to me at all, could you?” he snickered, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes.

“Nope,” she sighed. “Mere proximity to you made my verbal eloquence plummet. It’s a wonder you didn’t think I was some insane weirdo from all the stuff I said to you.”

He shrugged, pulling her in closer and nuzzling her hair. “I thought I made you nervous because you respected my father’s work. Sure, you seemed a little quirky, but I didn’t really know how people were supposed to behave because I hadn’t been around people my age before. I saw you act normal around other people, so I knew it was a problem with me or something. The Marinette I saw interacting with other people was really cool and selfless and brave. I admired you and wanted us to be better friends.”

Marinette blew out a long breath, shaking her head. “Oh, my sweet, sweet bean. You’re too precious. Too pure for this earth…. Thank you for being you.”

“Right back at you.” He gave her an affectionate squeeze.

 The pedicab stopped and let them off at the Pont des Arts so that they could get André’s sweetheart ice cream and take a selfie with it and the love locks secured to the bridge railing and light posts.

Adrien captioned the photo, “There’s nothing better than sharing ice cream with a friend”.

Marinette giggle-snorted. “Yep. Nothing romantic going on here. Just platonic friends who happen to enjoy sharing ice cream intended for couples on the most romantic bridge in the City of Love.”

“I actually think the Pont Alexandre III is the most romantic bridge in Paris, especially at night when it’s all lit up,” Adrien remarked. “The footbridges over the Canal Saint-Martin are really quaint and romantic too.”

Marinette hummed in thought, mentally storing Adrien’s feedback for use at a later date.

“We should get a picture of us feeding ice cream to one another,” Adrien snickered, going to sit on one of the benches. “Do you think that would be laying it on a little thick?”

“No, that’s perfect,” she assured, joining him. “Here. Say ‘ah’.”

It was then that they noticed the passersby documenting the romantic moment and sharing it online for them.

“Want to go someplace more private?” he suggested.

She shook her head. “It’s okay. They’re not hurting anything, and the whole point is to be visible.”

He bit the inside of his cheek. “So long as you’re okay with the attention.”

She smiled, lightly touching his hand. “Thanks, Adrien.”

He returned the smile with a wink. “Any time, Ohime-sama.”

After they finished their ice cream, they headed to the Pont Neuf station and took the Métro, getting off at Jussieu.

They walked hand-in-hand to the Jardin des Plantes, stopping to look in shop windows and browse through the boxes of old books on the tables outside of shops.

When they got to the park, they strolled leisurely, admiring the autumn foliage and enjoying one another’s company.

“I wish our cat were here,” Marinette sighed with a wistful smile as she looked up at the changing leaves.

“Nyan-chan would like today’s date,” Adrien affirmed, giving her hand a squeeze. “He’d be happy to know you’re missing him even though you’re with someone as magnificent and funny as me.”

Marinette broke out in a laugh.

“Did I mention my charming personality?” Adrien added with an eyebrow waggle.

“Are you jealous, Beau Gosse?” she snickered, bumping his shoulder with her own.

“Why would I be?” Adrien pouted. “It’s not like the woman I love is thinking about other men when she’s with me or anything.”

Marinette shook her head, still laughing. “You can whine to your cat boyfriend about it tonight when he comes over for snuggling.”

“Oh, believe me. I will,” he snorted. “Hey. What do you think of a picture of us holding hands? Maybe just a picture of our clasped hands? Is that too heavy-handed?”

Marinette groaned. “You’re just as bad as Chat Noir with puns.”

 Their next and final stop was across the street from the Jardin des Plantes at the restaurant attached to the Grande Mosquée de Paris where they ordered vegetable couscous to share along with the restaurant’s famed mint tea and a sampler platter of their savory desserts.

“I think this is the best couscous I’ve ever had,” Marinette moaned happily, shoveling another spoonful into her mouth.

Adrien laughed into his napkin, snapping a picture of her for his own private consumption. “Nino did say that they have really legit food here. He said that his mom’s home cooking is better but that this place tastes like the food he eats when visiting family in Morocco.”

Marinette hummed appreciatively through her full mouth, and Adrien shook his head. “I’m going to post a picture of you pigging out and gush about how radiant my good friend Marinette is while enjoying a good meal.”

She glared at him, her narrowed eyes threatening bodily harm.

“I’m sorry, but you are so cute when you’re stuffing your face. Like a chipmunk,” he defended himself.

Marinette swallowed and replied. “Wow. Way to make a girl feel unsexy, Agreste.”

Adrien winced. “Sorry. I was just playing. You’re adorable, Marinette. Did I ruin everything?”

With a sigh, Marinette got up and went to sit on the bench seat beside him, fishing out her phone. “Smile, Bishi,” she teased, using Chat Noir’s nickname for Adrien, her voice husky in his ear.

Her free hand slipped down to give his knee a squeeze, and the resulting picture showed Marinette smiling puckishly at the camera while Adrien was captured in the middle of his turn to look at her with a flustered expression.

“I like the face you’re making,” she chuckled as she reviewed the photo. “You look like I just made some obscene suggestion and you’re equal parts horrified and intrigued.”

“I’m glad you’re having fun pushing my buttons.” Adrien sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile.

They took another picture, one with them both smiling innocently even though Marinette was practically sitting in Adrien’s lap. They included a few pictures of the food and made sure to rave about how good it was and what a nice time they were having together as friends.

 Adrien had barely walked in the door when Nathalie descended upon him.

“Your father isn’t pleased,” she reported blandly, the hint of a grin hovering in the corner of her mouth. “Did you have fun today? You and Miss Dupain-Cheng look very happy together.”

Adrien beamed. “I did. And we are. Thank you, Nathalie.”

A smile flickered across Nathalie’s lips, there one second and gone the next, replaced by her usual impassive expression. “Back to business. Your father isn’t pleased.”

“Where is my father anyway?” Adrien sighed, glancing at the atelier door.

“London,” she supplied. “He had to leave this morning to attend to the closing of a deal in person.”

“He didn’t even say goodbye,” Adrien grumbled, heading for his room to change for the interview with Nadja scheduled that evening.

Nathalie followed to pick out a suitable outfit.

“It was a last-minute trip,” she offered, pretending that that was a sufficient excuse, that this wasn’t just the latest installment in the trend of Gabriel floating in and out of Adrien’s life without stopping to actually be a part of it.

“Oh. I see,” Adrien replied disinterestedly, pretending that it didn’t hurt to be so insignificant.

Nathalie pursed her lips. “…What was your favourite thing that you did today?”

Adrien’s smile came back as he launched into a recap of the pedicab ride and how much it meant to him that Marinette had been planning romantic surprises for him all along.

Nathalie conveniently forgot to bring up the fact that Gabriel wanted to talk to Adrien before the interview. She later apologized profusely to Gabriel for letting it slip her mind. She told him that they’d been in too much of a rush to get Adrien to the studio and get him through hair and makeup.

All the way there, she kept Adrien talking about his eventful day, distracting him from the reality that was his relationship (or lack thereof) with his father.

  “So…Adrien,” Nadja purred toward the end of the interview. “Judging from your Instagram, you had an eventful date today.”

Adrien made his eyes go wide, pretending to be surprised at her word choice.

“Tell us all about your girlfriend, Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she prompted, leaning forward in her seat.

Adrien blushed and rubbed at the back of his neck. “Oh, that wasn’t a date. Marinette and I were just hanging out. She’s a good friend; we’re not officially dating.”

Nadja’s perfectly waxed eyebrow inched up, and she shot him a look of clear disbelief. “I don’t mean to imply that you’re lying, Adrien, but we have some candids from your outing.”

Behind them, a slideshow of all the soft looks Adrien had directed Marinette’s way that day began to play.

“Do you look at all your friends with such a gooey, lovesick expression?” she challenged.

Adrien laughed and shook his head. “You misunderstand me. I said that Marinette and I aren’t officially a couple. I never said I wasn’t head over heels in love with her.”

Nadja’s mouth dropped open, and her eyes lit up.

Adrien could practically see her getting ready to pounce on the scoop he’d just served her.

Nadja turned to the camera. “You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen: Paris’s most eligible bachelor, Adrien Agreste, in love!” She whipped back around to Adrien. “Tell us all about her. What do you like about Marinette? What about her made you fall in love?”

He averted his gaze, smiling bashfully. “Well…I mean…we’ve been friends since I started school, and Marinette has always been…just…wonderful. Everything about her is wonderful. She’s smart, funny, selfless, thoughtful, clever, a good leader… I’ve admired her for a long time. …And, obviously, she’s gorgeous, but, if you’ve got functioning eyes, you can tell that much on your own. It’s her personality that really made me fall for her, her compassion, her enthusiasm, her kindness. I think I’ve been a little bit in love with her from the very beginning; it just took me a while to realize that the way I felt about her wasn’t just admiration and friendship.”

“Have you told her how you feel?” Nadja pressed.

Adrien nodded. “In the spring…but she was seeing someone else at the time.”

Nadja winced. “Ouch.”

“Yeah,” Adrien chuckled self-deprecatingly. “Ouch is right.”

“But what about now?” she prompted. “The way you phrased that she was seeing someone else in the spring sort of implied that she’s free now. Why aren’t you two dating?”

Adrien frowned, his face flipping through a series of conflicted expressions, making it seem as if he were reluctant to answer. “…Well…my father doesn’t think it’s a good idea.”

Nadja’s eyes narrowed. “Your father won’t let you date the woman you love?”

Adrien waved his hands hastily, trying to correct her. “No, no! It’s not like that. My father hasn’t forbidden me from dating her or anything. It’s just…he’s concerned. Marinette has always wanted to be a fashion designer, and she’s a fan of my father’s work, so Father is afraid of what people might say about her for dating me. Marinette is extremely talented, and Father doesn’t want her talent discounted or questioned because people think she’s receiving preferential treatment or using me to advance her career. He’s concerned that overzealous fans might invade her privacy or start sending her hate mail or something crazy like that,” Adrien explained.

Nadja nodded, letting Adrien continue of his own volition, not wanting to interrupt.

“My father cares about me a lot. He’s very protective of me, so…he doesn’t think it’s a good idea for Marinette and me to date, and I can see his reasoning. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to Marinette because of me…but…at the same time…” He sighed and looked away.

“At the same time?” Nadja encouraged gently.

Adrien shook his head and shrugged. “The past few years have been really hard for my family…since my mother disappeared, I mean. My parents were soulmates, so I know Mother’s disappearance was a huge blow to Father. I know it’s been really hard raising me without her. I remind him of her, so it’s difficult for him to be around me sometimes.”

Nadja frowned, heart aching as she thought of her own child.

“I understand, of course,” Adrien stressed. “But even though I understand, it’s still hard. …And Father’s always so busy with work. His company is important to him. He’s really passionate about designing, and I’m happy that he still has something he loves that much, even though Mother is gone…but I’m alone a lot,” he sighed, looking down at his hands.

“That must be rough for you,” Nadja whispered.

Adrien nodded. “It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re lonely…” He looked up and gave her and the viewers a weak smile. “…but I have a lot of really great friends like Marinette now that I attend public schooling. Their friendship helps a lot…. I still would like to try dating, though,” he added sheepishly. “I’ve always dreamed of finding the kind of love that my parents have.”

Nadja gave a little “Aww”, smiling wide because she knew that her viewership would be eating this up.

“I think Marinette might be the one for me,” Adrien confided, and then his expression turned sad with a hint of longing. “…But I know that my father knows best and that he only wants what’s best for me. Maybe there will come a day when Marinette and I can be together, but I can’t ask her to wait for me, so…”

He gave a helpless shrug.

 They had scarcely made it home when Gabriel called to give Adrien a dressing down, faulting Adrien for coming across as childish, naïve, whiney, and ungrateful.

Adrien took the chastisement with a bowed head and muttered apologies.

He retired to his room for the night where he showered, changed, and headed out to give Alya an interview with Chat Noir.

“Adrien is the sweetest human being I have ever met,” Chat insisted into Alya’s phone camera. “He’s letting his father control his life, and that’s not okay. He’ll be an adult in six months. He should be free to make his own decisions. If he loves Marinette, he shouldn’t have to have his father’s permission to date her.”

“Ladybug said nearly the same thing,” Alya snickered.

Chat blinked dumbly for a beat or two. “She did? You talked to Ladybug about this?”

Alya nodded, still filming. “She left about fifteen minutes before you got here. I had just posted her video on my blog when you arrived. Ladybug is a staunch supporter of Adrienette.”

“…I did not know that,” Chat chuckled, cheeks heating up in pleasure and embarrassment at the thought of his first love adamantly shipping him and his girlfriend.

 By the next morning, #Let Adrienette Date was already trending, and Gabriel was getting strongly worded emails about his interfering with the course of true love.

A protest spontaneously manifested outside the Agreste Mansion.

Adrien’s fanclub mobilized to do anything and everything to ensure that their prince got his happy ending, even if they weren’t entirely certain that Marinette was worthy of him.

Marinette got her first death threat, but the threat was concerning if she ever broke Adrien’s heart and not about her dating him in the first place, so she took cold comfort in that.

Gabriel returned from London Tuesday morning to be met with the madness that was an unstoppable force hell bent on seeing his son in a relationship with the woman he loved.

Gabriel persevered.

Adrien played innocent.

Adrien was grounded.

Chat Noir and Ladybug spoke out about the unfairness of the grounding and Gabriel’s attempts to keep Adrienette apart.

The mob was incensed.

Gabriel stock plummeted.

 On Saturday night, Adrien posted a picture on his Instagram of him leisurely kissing Marinette on her living room couch. The caption read, “Look who’s un-grounded and hanging out with his GIRLFRIEND! Thank you all so much for your love and support. #Adrienette #True Love Wins”.

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1977

Under the cut.

Marilyn McCoo & Billy Davis, Jr. – “You Don’t Have To Be A Star (To Be In My Show)” -- January 8, 1977

They will be happy with each other as they are, not needing a "star." It sounds literal, like they think most people only want to have relationships with celebrities. It's got some bounce and a beat, but it's very light and not poetic at all. Meh.

Leo Sayer – “You Make Me Feel Like Dancing” -- January 15, 1977

Shouty falsetto. It might be disco if it were faster. I am not listening to this whole thing, because it will give me a headache.

Stevie Wonder – “I Wish” -- January 22, 1977

One of the greatest musical intros. It's a funk song about nostalgia, wishing for childhood again, and I normally hate that. But the music is amazing.

Rose Royce – “Car Wash” -- January 29, 1977

This was an intro song for a movie of the same name. I had no idea. I just thought someone decided to sing about working at a car wash randomly. The song is a little bit Motown, a little bit disco. It's fun.

Mary MacGregor – “Torn Between Two Lovers” -- February 5, 1977

It's slow, it's soppy, and it's about how she's cheating on "you" with someone else. She truly loves you, but she's not gonna stop seeing the other guy, whom she loves too. It sounds like she wants to try this whole poly thing she's heard about. But is the guy she's singing to gonna be okay with that? Probably not. Most people aren't. Maybe though. I don't care. For being about a subject that should be heartrending, this song sure is boring.

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band – “Blinded By The Light” -- February 19, 1977

This version made it to #1. Bruce Springsteen's original didn't even make it to the charts. This version is really bad -- it sounds like a recitation surrounded by goop, not a song. Bruce Springsteen's version is one of my favorite songs. I am going to sulk now.

Eagles – “New Kid In Town” -- February 26, 1977

Huh, an Eagles hit I've never heard before. This is about fame, how everyone loves you at first, then forgets you when the next big thing comes along. They try to shoehorn some stuff about romance in -- "Will she still love you when you're not around?" -- but it doesn't really flow. Also the song sounds like it should be playing in the background of a cabana. Fittingly for a song worried people will forget them, I have already forgotten this song.

Barbra Streisand – “Love Theme From A Star Is Born (Evergreen)” -- March 5, 1977

I listened to this song for 30 seconds. No more. I cannot stand Barbra Streisand. I don't think I'd like this song anyway, as it's glop, but maybe a different singer could have made it tolerable.

Daryl Hall & John Oates – “Rich Girl” -- March 26, 1977

Rich girls get picked on while rich boys are the ones who usually get away with everything. This song was actually originally about a rich guy, too. It would have been better. It's still good musically, but it misses the mark. Not that rich girls don't also get away with plenty, but compare and contrast what happened to Paris Hilton for her venial sins, versus the entire existence of Donald Trump.

ABBA – “Dancing Queen” -- April 9, 1977

ABBA was a good group. They were hated on, and now they're more likely to be exalted. They didn't deserve the hate (save it for the Bee Gees), but they're not the second coming or anything either. They were just a good, fun group. This song can be danced to, but it's a song more about dance than a dancing song. It's a rare song observing a young woman dancing while identifying with her, rather than lusting after her. "You can dance/ You can jive/ Having the time of your life." It's good.

David Soul – “Don’t Give Up On Us” -- April 16, 1977

The narrator did something really bad last night. Cheating? Worse? Now he's telling his lover not to "give up on us." As soft as the song is, "tell" is the word, not "ask." And he doesn't apologize once. Also, David Soul was a professional actor, but there's no worry in his voice; he's nothing but smooth and assured here. Blech.

Thelma Houston – “Don’t Leave Me This Way” -- April 23, 1977

It's disco with a large dose of Motown, or Motown with a large dose of disco. Either way, it works. Everything lines up with precision, and then Thelma Houston comes in over all of it with huge emotion. The contrast is sort of fascinating. Oh, and her huge emotion is that she wants sex. "Then come on, satisfy the need in me/ 'Cause only your good loving can set me free." She's not begging, but she's not exactly commanding either. It's really good.

Glen Campbell – “Southern Nights” -- April 30, 1977

It's Kidz Bop honky tonk. That's probably not fair; Glen Campbell grew up in a family of poor sharecroppers in Arkansas. But it's what I hear. It's happy clappy, and scrubbed clean of anything real.

Eagles – “Hotel California” -- May 7, 1977

Whatever you think this song is about, it's not about that. The Eagles wrote it with a mish-mash of stuff in mind, but mostly trying to be ambiguous. What that means is that whatever you think this song is about, it is about that. It's a choose your own adventure psychological horror song. I love it. It makes me happy in that way that good poetry and good music do -- and this is both.

Leo Sayer – “When I Need You” -- May 14, 1977

This song is cheese. Absolute, unadulterated cheese. But it's not bad cheese. It's a good solid cheddar. It's slow but not too slow, soft but not too soft, and it manages some interesting percussion. And Sayer sings like he means it. It's about missing his lover while he's on the road, and he imagines she's with him to get by. "When I need you/ I just close my eyes and I'm with you." It sounds kind of like a Broadway ballad. It's enjoyable.

Stevie Wonder – “Sir Duke” -- May 21, 1977

A song about Duke Ellington, which is a subject I approve of. Stevie Wonder also lists a few more legends, including one of my favorites: "And with a voice like Ella's ringing out/ There's no way the band can lose." It's a love song to music itself. It's sort of big band, sort of funk, and sort of Motown, and it works. The lyrics do get too repetitive for me near the end, though.

KC & The Sunshine Band – “I’m Your Boogie Man” -- June 11, 1977

It's a wordplay on the "bogie man" monster. But the boogie man wants to show up and give you whatever you want whenever you want however you want. Sexually. The song actually has more lyrics than most KC & The Sunshine Band songs, but it's still a song to dance to. Not to have sex to. But for dancing? Yep, it's good.

Fleetwood Mac – “Dreams” -- June 18, 1977

YAY! Okay so I have no interest in Fleetwood Mac without Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks. But when they joined in 1975, Fleetwood Mac became truly great. And this song is from Rumours, which is their best album (forged out of a hell of a lot of intragroup pain), and written and sung by Stevie Nicks, who was their best artist. My parents played this record and their previous self-titled one all the time. I didn't fully understand the songs when I was a kid, but I loved them. As I grew old enough to understand them, I loved them more. And now I love them more than that. I can't analyze this song. I love it too much.

Marvin Gaye – “Got To Give It Up (Part 1)” -- June 25, 1977

At first, he was uncomfortable at parties and didn't want to dance. But then he loosened up enough to dance, pretty obviously as a way to pick up chicks. There's the horrible line "Let me step into your erotic zone." The music is experimental. Marvin Gaye's falsetto is fine, but it's still a falsetto the whole damn song. And there are people making party noises in the background the whole time. I find this song painful.

Bill Conti – “Gonna Fly Now (Theme From Rocky) -- July 2, 1977

You know this instrumental, you've heard it tons. It's a good movie theme -- I think. It's hard to say, when it's something that's been so often present in so many different contexts in my life.

Alan O’Day – “Undercover Angel” -- July 9, 1977

The undercover angel is a make believe woman from a sex dream. At the end of the song, he's telling "you" that you remind him of the undercover angel, so you must be meant to be with him. It's an extended "I've seen you in my dreams" pickup line. It's so dumb.

Shaun Cassidy – “Da Doo Ron Ron” -- July 16, 1977

This is an excruciatingly boring cover of The Crystals' classic 60s girl group song.

Barry Manilow – “Looks Like We Made It” -- July 23, 1977

He's singing to an ex. They both "made it" because they found other people. Until "Looks like we made it/ Or I thought so till today/ Until you were there everywhere." If they get back together it's not going to be easy, because they'll be leaving relationships that seem happy. I don't think they'll get back together -- besides, she may not feel anything for him any more. It's a more complex song than it sounds. And Barry Manilow sure can sing. I wish he'd gone with the jazz songs he preferred, but then he wouldn't have been hugely successful. He decided to pull the rhinestone cowboy trick, and I can't blame him. He did make the soppy 70s charts more tolerable than they would have otherwise been.

Andy Gibb – “I Just Want To Be Your Everything” -- July 30, 1977

For instance, without Barry Manilow, Andy Gibb would probably have had more hits. Gibb's voice is thin. If you're going to sing a line like "Oh, if I, if I stay here without you darlin' I will die," you need some power and drama behind it. This guy sounds like he's trying to sell kitchen tile. It's a relatively fast song, but the beat is somehow irritating too. Blech.

The Emotions – “Best Of My Love” -- August 20, 1977

It starts with a blast of horns, and then a blast of singing. Then the chorus is quieter than the rest, which is weird to me. I can't put my finger on why this song bores me, but it does.

Meco – “Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band” -- October 1, 1977

A disco mashup of the Star Wars theme with the cantina band theme. That happened. I love John Williams' music and I think he deserves credit for at least half of Star Wars' success. But I think this remix sounds extremely dumb. Someone slowed down the cantina band theme a couple years ago and that sounds very noir and cool. This doesn't.

Debby Boone – “You Light Up My Life” -- October 15, 1977

The person who wrote this song was completely and absolutely terrible. But Debby Boone isn't. She's a Christian singer, but seems to be one of the nice ones, not the wingnut fundie ones. Anyway, she wasn't a Christian singer in 1977 (though she was Christian). And she had a good voice. But she sings this song painfully slowly. It sounds like she comes in after where she's supposed to come in and then draws out the notes longer than she's supposed to. I don't know if that's her or the song itself. I sped up the song to 1.25 and it's a little more palatable, but it's still bad. It's a trudge. I don't feel lit up after this.

The Bee Gees – “How Deep Is Your Love” -- December 24, 1977

It's not falsetto, though Barry Gibb does go uncomfortably high some. But it's still very bad. It's a string of bland cliches over bland music. And the weird 70s male romance song entitlement: "And it's me you need to show/ How deep is your love?" Shut up.

BEST OF 1977 -- "Dreams" by Fleetwood Mac  WORST OF 1977 -- "Star Wars Theme/Cantina Band" by Meco. People really would disco to anything, huh?

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #238

Tues May 05 2020 [02:04 AM] Wack'd: Have some Wolverine publicity

[02:05 AM] maxwellelvis: It BEGINS [02:06 AM] maxwellelvis: THERE's the John Byrne we know and... sigh because the guy who comes up with great covers like these is still the guy who sabotaged Jean Grey's spinoff attempt. [02:06 AM] Wack'd: John Bryne: fun dude but still a friggin dude [02:07 AM] Wack'd: So here we go. The secret story of Frankie Raye [02:08 AM] Wack'd: Turns out this is naturally what she looks like naked, plus a spiffy pair of elbow-length gold gloves

[02:08 AM] Bocaj: He didn't notice the gold gloves at any point? [02:08 AM] Wack'd: All this stuff just...vanishes when she puts clothes on [02:08 AM] Wack'd: Yeah no Johnny is like "I've seen you in a bikini" and she puts her robe back on and the gold clothes vanish [02:09 AM] Bocaj: "My terrible secret is that I'm a never nude" [02:09 AM] Bocaj: "There are dozens of us. Dozens" [02:09 AM] Wack'd: I understood that reference [02:09 AM] Wack'd: So anyway Frankie has been somehow psychologically conditioned to never notice that a superhero outfit appears on her whenever she's naked [02:10 AM] Wack'd: As well as not to think too hard about the fact that she has no memories before age 14 [02:10 AM] Bocaj: Uh. [02:10 AM] Bocaj: Well y'know what fair enough. I try not to think about that stretch of time either [02:11 AM] Wack'd: Her earliest memory is waking up in a dingy warehouse under an old labcoat [02:11 AM] Wack'd: She lived alone in a deserted apartment and got checks for a thousand bucks in the mail every week [02:11 AM] Wack'd: And was psychologically conditioned not to think about how off-spec that was for a teenager as well [02:12 AM] Wack'd: A lot of nonsense here resting on, essentially, a Somebody Else's Problem Field [02:12 AM] Wack'd: Whoever set all this up probably would've had a lot easier of a time if they just...gave her a normal life? [02:12 AM] Bocaj: I feel that however this explains her fear of fire from earlier on, this cannot have been what the original plan was even a little [02:13 AM] Wack'd: Anyway somehow meeting Johnny started to make the conditioning decay [02:13 AM] Wack'd: She freaked out when Johnny flamed on because it made her think too hard about things, but she was attracted to him in part because of that [02:14 AM] Bocaj: uh [02:14 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Johnny pushes her to explore this whole ordeal further, because she feels like the dam is finally about to break [02:14 AM] Bocaj: I have a dumb thought [02:14 AM] Wack'd: And break it does

[02:14 AM] Bocaj: She was completely naked in that- HOLY BEANS [02:15 AM] Bocaj: she was completely naked in that scene where she had the breakdown in that other issue and she didn't get the gold booties there [02:15 AM] Wack'd: She didn't but also because up until that point she was Somebody Else's Probemed into not seeing them, remember? [02:15 AM] Wack'd: And so we the audience didn't either [02:16 AM] maxwellelvis: Like the clown graffiti all over John's house [02:16 AM] Wack'd: Johnny uses his fire absorption powers to keep the building from burning down and gives chase [02:18 AM] Wack'd: He catches up to Frankie and gives her a crash course in steering and pacing herself before she and her new ecstasy for life burns down New York [02:18 AM] Wack'd: And she explains Frankie Backstory 2.0 [02:19 AM] Wack'd: She was raised by a simple repairman, a good man, who suddenly lost his friggin composure when the Fantastic Four arrived [02:19 AM] Wack'd: Ranting about how dare Johnny call himself the Human Torch, he dragged her to an old warehouse and began raving about old experiments [02:20 AM] Wack'd: Frankie humors him for a bit but while carrying an old oil drum it bursts into flames, leaving her miraculously unharmed [02:20 AM] Bocaj: Simple repairman has a point. Kind of rude, Johnny [02:20 AM] Bocaj: Jim was a war hero, ya dink [02:21 AM] Wack'd: And then dear old stepdad hypnotized her and abandoned her [02:21 AM] Bocaj: 😐 [02:22 AM] Wack'd: A year later a package arrived with a tape recorder and a gold costume. The tape recorder hypnotized her into putting on the costume and then erased her memories [02:22 AM] maxwellelvis: What a drip [02:22 AM] Wack'd: Anyway from all this Johnny deduces her stepdad was Phineas Horton [02:22 AM] Wack'd: But you guys already figured that out, I bet [02:23 AM] maxwellelvis: I forgot who he was. [02:23 AM] Wack'd: Jim Hammond's dad [02:23 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh [02:24 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Johnny decides to become her mentor and, after she tries to fly as high as possible and runs into that pesky atmosphere problem, takes her back to the Baxter to have Reed run some tests and figure out what her limits are [02:24 AM] Bocaj: I'm for once not sad that Ultron killed him after forcing him to turn the original human torch into the Vision [02:25 AM] Bocaj: Until Byrne retcons that to not be the case because dude loves him some jim hammond [02:26 AM] Wack'd: Anyway I misremembered what Frankie's deal was. I assumed android [02:26 AM] Wack'd: But Reed thinks that whatever was in that fateful oil drum was some sort of superscience chemical that mutated her [02:26 AM] Wack'd: Not sure what the point of her being a nevernude was [02:27 AM] Wack'd: Or why Phineas Horton brainwashed his fourteen year old daughter into wearing a strapless bathing suit at all times [02:28 AM] maxwellelvis: The guy labeled Jim a renegade when he showed the first signs of not being completely under his command [02:28 AM] Wack'd: It sure is a good thing this teenager with no parental guidance never did anything where that bathing suit might've become a problem! [02:28 AM] maxwellelvis: guy's a drip [02:29 AM] Wack'd: Reed has proven his hypothesis that biological sex determines how flame powers work I guess??!?!?

[02:29 AM] Wack'd: What sort of cis nonsense is this [02:30 AM] maxwellelvis: Johnny speaks for us all [02:30 AM] Wack'd: What all that means is "after a period of suitable training, we may be calling our friends at Marvel Comics and telling them to start publishing the Fantastic Five!" [02:31 AM] Bocaj: This is a thing that marvel does sometimes [02:31 AM] Wack'd: Good news for all those Spider-Girl fans I guess [02:31 AM] Bocaj: They've decided that Laura Kinney's foot claw is what girl wolverines be like [02:31 AM] Wack'd: *sigh* [02:33 AM] Bocaj: I'll say that Spider-Girl did it better by not saying, as far as I recall, that the difference was because man vs woman. [02:34 AM] Wack'd: Okay so we have another story in this issue [02:34 AM] Wack'd: Well, two, kind of [02:35 AM] Wack'd: First a brief interlude in which it is established at some point the Four will be going to the tiny town of Benson, Arizona to investigate cases of people being "frightened to death" [02:36 AM] maxwellelvis: @Wack'd My primary suspect is this man [02:37 AM] Bocaj: Put those tingles away [02:37 AM] Wack'd: Here's a Sue pinup which I'm mostly crossposting to see if I can wrangle a coherent set of interests out of her bookshelf

[02:38 AM] Wack'd: Pogo's on there. Sue has good taste in comics [02:38 AM] Bocaj: I was about to say [02:38 AM] Wack'd: And now on to our second feature [02:38 AM] maxwellelvis: She's got a copy of Shogun in there [02:39 AM] maxwellelvis: Dangerous Visions, a sci-fi anthology [02:39 AM] Wack'd: Meet Crow T. Rob--I mean, HERBIE 2.0

[02:40 AM] maxwellelvis: "You listen to me, 'Mr. Fantastic', you are NOT my real father!" [02:40 AM] Wack'd: "I want to decide who lives and who dies!" "So long as Franklin is in the 'lives' category I'm strangely okay with that" [02:41 AM] maxwellelvis: "Hey, Franklin, the secret word for today is 'booger'! Booger booger booger booger-AAAUGH!" [02:41 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this is not the only surprise Reed has in store today! [02:42 AM] Wack'd: He also has A Cure for Being the Thing Number Fucktillion [02:42 AM] Bocaj: Panel 2 Franklin does not look like a child [02:42 AM] Wack'd: He looks like a 1950s Western bit player [02:43 AM] maxwellelvis: "Oh great, another cure! How does this one work, and where can I hide when it backfires?" [02:43 AM] Wack'd: Ben is skeptical but as Reed points out science is always marching on [02:44 AM] Wack'd: He has more data than he's ever had [02:44 AM] Wack'd: Ben you've never asked her that before because it's literally never come up before. Fuck she's dated you while you were cured! Remember when you were riding around in that robot suit?

[02:45 AM] Wack'd: Anyway [02:45 AM] Wack'd: The machine blows up [02:46 AM] Wack'd: Welp

[02:47 AM] Bocaj: Could be worse [02:47 AM] Bocaj: At least its not pinecone grimm [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh that's coming [02:47 AM] Wack'd: Could be covered in bees. That'd be pretty bad [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Not for Ben it wouldn't. [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: Unless they flew into his mouth. [02:47 AM] Bocaj: "Hahah sting you fuckers" [02:48 AM] Bocaj: "This time it is permanent!" Reed shut up [02:48 AM] Wack'd: Anyway this sure is weird nostalgia baiting [02:49 AM] Wack'd: Folks have done plenty of Lee/Kirby throwback stuff but was anyone nostalgic for this, like, at all [02:50 AM] Wack'd: Also like. C'mon Bryne, integrate your story developments naturally. You shouldn't need an entire issue where all that happens is status quo changes [02:50 AM] maxwellelvis: @Bocaj You might know, had Byrne ever written a comic book before his FF run? [02:51 AM] Wack'd: I guess Frankie was integrated a little naturally (even if she went from recent love interest to team member in no time flat) but the Ben is fairly hamfisted [02:51 AM] Wack'd: You can just check Marvel Wiki [02:51 AM] Bocaj: He co-plotted with Claremont I know [02:51 AM] Bocaj: And Claremont was big on the idea of co-plotting. [02:51 AM] maxwellelvis: But this would be his first, like, his first time flying solo? [02:52 AM] Wack'd: Dude has a lot of X-Men credits and some Captain Americas [02:52 AM] Bocaj: His first writing credit was on Iron Fist apparently [02:52 AM] Bocaj: at Marvel [02:54 AM] Bocaj: But from a skim of wikipedia fantastic four was his first extended solo writing thing

[dansnaturepictures]

Sixth instalment of my 10 wildlife/photography highlights blogs for 2020: My great butterfly (and moth, dragon/damselfly, beetle, flower and other insect) year Part 2

As I said in my post on Monday, due to the level of writing I have done about my butterfly and other insect/flower year for these posts this year I have, like I do with birds in this thread every year, done two posts about them this year. I had the opportunity to do this as the pandemic meant our June Anglesey holiday was postponed to next year and some day trips that would in other years get their own highlights post were amalgamated into my highlights post about my week off in June my last post when they occurred. I began writing the part 2 for butterflies etc. literally the day after that week off so it makes this week very chronological for the posts when I was well into the writing of these posts. I toyed with the idea of doing a separate post about some of the other insects and flowers I’ve seen this year for these blogs, an idea as a backup in case I got slots freed up I have every year for these posts but a lot of notable other insect/flower moments happened the same day or right after butterfly ones so it made sense to keep notable days/walks this year together. This therefore is descriptions of the best bits of what happened next in my butterfly year from late June onwards with mentions of the other insects/flowers.

The day after the week off on my Lakeside daily exercise walk it was great to see Small Skipper and Marbled White still plentiful as I said they had become at Lakeside towards the end of the last butterfly post, I even saw some away from their usual grassland on the concrete by beach lake. Ringlet, Comma, Meadow Browns still very plentiful, Common Blue Damselfly and some other interesting looking insects also stood out for sightings that day. The next day it was nice to see Ringlet and pyramidal orchid again at Lakeside looking nice in the rain, a walk where it was nice to see raindrops on flowers something I loved noticing this June and throughout the year a simple joy I found in life on the walk and at home and the area I nickname ‘Marbled White meadow’ looking a nice yellowy and red colour compared to when I saw it last before leave with certain flowers out. The next day after seeing and photographing a bee on it as mentioned in my last butterflies highlight post and seeing Large White checking out the others of the plant we have in the back garden during my week off I was happy to see one of my favourite butterflies the Red Admiral on the butterfly bush out the front. In more overcast, humid and showery conditions that lunch time with some sun poking through here and there I saw my first Gatekeeper actually at Lakeside of 2020 a key cog in the summer butterfly wheel here which was nice. That walk on a day I got so many intimate wildlife moments was one characterised by seeing nice views of lush green vegetation against grey skies and also as I had noticed in weeks before some early autumn leaves. On a completely unrelated note really but I had nowhere else to mention a notable event this year in these blogs that night I witnessed a sky phenomenon of a really nice orange and red sunset against dark, big and black clouds, some rain coming out of them therefore for the first time ever for me with a sunset a rainbow about too in my best ever year of rainbows. Through both the east and west facing windows of our house I was witnessing one of the most dramatic sky scenes I had ever seen! And even better everyone else in the house and my Dad at his noticed it and loads of people on social media posted pictures of the sky too so it was a real unifying moment and standout one for me this year. That night a key memory is walking into my room to do something and thinking “Oh why have I left the light on in here” when in fact it was the glow of the sky scene outside lighting up my room. The next day I saw loads of Ringlets with wings open at Lakeside at lunch and a Marbled White moving about looking quite freshly emerged. One of my best 24 hour periods during a working week this year for photos and wildlife I think coming nicely after the week off. The next day it was nice to see Small and Large Skipper battling each other a brilliant view of the latter which I took the first picture in this photoset of it was great to see both together and get a rare chance to compare them the Small Skippers really are much smaller, Ringlets, a landed Gatekeeper, Holly Blue, a great Brimstone view and more at Lakeside.

The weekend that followed on quite a sunny day I had a nice walk at Stockbridge Down where upon seeing Dark Green Fritillary I reflected on what a wonderful year I have had for seeing this species at local places here and Martin Down and Durlston in my week off where I might not normally get the chance to visit and see them I saw so many and so well and close up across the board I really enjoyed them this year. It was also great to see Silver Y moth here, my fairly long-awaited first Cinnabar moth caterpillars of the year on the everywhere emerging it seemed ragwort a classic little part of summer those small orange and black caterpillars I love seeing them I had seen the adults here the time we came here before that so it came full circle a great chance of a species to see adult and caterpillar each year and some nice common red solider beetles. I saw some more of the latter with one flying nicely too at Lakeside in the week that followed a great addition to my great year of beetles and starting to learn and love them more in 2020 this species helped define my summer.

In this rich, colourful and precious meadow habitat the day after National Meadow day other key butterflies I saw that day were; Peacock, Comma, Marbled White, Small Coppers, many Marbled Whites, Gatekeeper well as well as Small Heath, Meadow Brown, Ringlet, Common Blue, Adonis Blue, lots of Red Admirals and Large Skipper. On lunch time walks during that following week at Lakeside in quite grey conditions at times it was evidence of the peak butterfly season time of year July is that Ringlet and Gatekeeper were commonplace with great views too at times, alongside Marbled White, Large White, Small Skipper, Meadow Browns and Holly Blue seen well.

The Thursday of that week at Lakeside I snuck in a ‘Big Butterfly Count’ survey a week ahead of its start date as the website allowed you too submit sightings/counts then. I always do this at Lakeside quite often more than once in a year and usually after work. So it made a nice change to do one on a lunch time with working at home and it’s always one of the points in a year and summer I look forward to most, it really like the ‘Big Garden Birdwatch’ feels like I’m doing my bit for nature and finding out what species are where and how they’re doing so it felt both thrilling and satisfying to take part again. One of the reasons I love doing it is that it’s done in July into August deliberately to focus on the key species Butterfly Conservation want to monitor in particular as it’s the point of the year the greatest number of species are about. Gatekeeper’s arrival onto my regular Lakeside butterfly scene this year and longer and longer grasses set the stage for the count at Lakeside for me with the species I always see in them all about. But I had this desperation to get a count submitted ahead of time as I’d been seeing Marbled Whites and Small Skippers for over a month at this point so I wanted to get them in on a count as well as Ringlets that never seem to last long at Lakeside before it was too late. That Thursday I did count eight different species, Meadow Brown, Marbled White and Small Skipper the most numerous on sixteen, nine and eight seen respectively. The perhaps still early Gatekeeper and Large White were next on three each, this walk also presented me the chance for my first macro and open winged Gatekeeper photograph this year, then a standout one Common Blue and also one Large Skipper and one Ringlet completed my sightings. As I walked through the meadow by the woods during the 15 minutes of counting I suddenly remembered the unique charm of it as you walk through fields and just see one Meadow Brown and Gatekeeper after another in particular you distinguish between them and try to keep track of them. A great thing to be overwhelmed by in a sense its good news in this world if you are inundated. It was quite high numbers for a grey day walk which did have a sun trying to poke through but had slight rain as well. This really got me well in the mood for the survey proper. It was also great to see yet more common red soldier beetles on the flowers that day too.

I did another warm up ‘Big Butterfly count’ at Lakeside the next day and despite a bit more obvious sun other than that similar conditions I saw less butterflies but the same amount of species. Meadow Browns dominated again with six seen, I saw three Large Whites again and three Ringlets more than the day before, less Small Skippers but still some with three, two Gatekeepers and one Speckled Wood I also saw in the 15 minutes of counting. It was also great to see two Common Blues, I remarked how for a butterfly I barely saw at or associated with the grasses of Lakeside for years which I often see in Big Butterfly counts when I am perhaps really looking more deeply I have this year started to see them consistently here and it makes sense with the habitat but it’s still nice to see them close to home. I took the second picture in this photoset of a Common Blue that day. I also made it – technically – a third Big Butterfly Count running I’d seen a Brown Argus in at Lakeside that day with one seen it’s becoming my tradition to see one here one that’s quite a rare butterfly for the site I guess an urban one whilst doing this survey. The one thing I really wanted to do this year in the Big Butterfly count whilst working from home and having the time to be at Lakeside so much was do them at different bits of Lakeside and compare results. It was interesting the Thursday which I didn’t on the Friday I walked through the meadow by the woodland patch entrance in the south west of the site beside the lake. This area was teeming with butterflies and the results reflected that with more individual butterflies the day I covered it so I found this area I don’t often or ever in years visit to watch butterflies really where I’ve spent so much time at is rich in butterfly life and quite interesting as it’s a relatively small isolated patch compared to the others. That night in more consistently sunny and quite hot conditions I did another Lakeside walk as I often did on Fridays and I did an impromptu second ‘Big Butterfly Count’ of the day when a Comma kept landing on me briefly, a Red Admiral one of my favourites was about and I saw Ringlet and I got a great view of a Large White landed in the tree and path area behind the visitor centre and steam railway station. Nice bright sunny light against very green trees and a Swift gliding against a blue sky helped make this a perfect summer evening and memory this year.

I spent a section of our walk the next day at Whitefield Moor in the New Forest butterfly counting too with some of the target species seen, on an afternoon 10 years after the point I consider the moment I got interested in butterflies where I also saw my first Common Grayling of 2020 one of my favourites and such a precious butterfly for me. I wrote about this afternoon fully in my third of these posts last week about our New Forest trips this year. I celebrated this big butterfly anniversary for me a lot on social media. Beforehand that day a pretty hot and sunny one it was brilliant to see a Large White in the back garden on the buddleia and just enjoy the buddleia in the evening in really amazing summer light. The next day at Stockbridge Down I was absolutely thrilled to see my first Chalkhill Blues of 2020. We saw many of these speciality here and silky and milky butterflies one of my favourites and it was a true honour to see them again on a hot day, exactly what July is all about for me really. This special butterfly was my milestone 40th this year I was elated to reach 40 butterfly species for the third year running and at that stage it made my year list my third highest ever for butterflies. I also had a stunning moment when we realised an ambition and saw a Hummingbird hawk-moth flying around our first ever and one we’d wanted to see for ages. A headline really of a smashing list of new moths I’ve seen this year for me in a very strong year for seeing them for me where I have learnt and got a little more interested in them. I was happy to see it. The amount of butterflies around in a meadow area and on some bushes on this hot day defined the day. There were just so many species and a butterfly everywhere I looked I did not know where to look at times. It was like the seabird cliff equivalent of butterflies really something I love so much seeing dozens and dozens on birds in a short space this was vibrant meadow today teeming with life. I photographed so many butterflies that day as well as brilliant flowers I saw that I kindly had identified for me in Twitter’s “#WildFlowerHour” common restharrow and rosebay willowherb which I had seen here the Sunday before dominating the landscape too. It turned out a Large White in a key photo I took that day was on a devil’s-bit scabious a flower I would later learn, I noticed this in November when I used the photo for my #AButterflyADay one of a few daily past photo tweeting activities I did during lockdowns this year. I would go onto to contribute to and look at #WildFlowerHour a lot more in line with the PlantNet app I downloaded in my delve into flowers this year. The rosebay willowherb became one of my standout flowers this year seeing so many of them in a year I really delved into flowers. I could not resist submitting some data again to Big Butterfly Count this was some of the most butterflies I’d seen together at once this year something I found so precious and really felt a lot. The results I kept and submitted for the species they want records for was; Meadow Brown 20, Marbled White 7, Gatekeeper 6, Chalkhill Blue 5, Dark Green Fritillary 5, Large White 5, Red Admiral 3, Peacock 2, Small Copper 2, Ringlet 2, Brimstone 1, Comma 1, Brown Argus 1, Green-veined White 1, Holly Blue 1, Large Skipper 1, Small Skipper 1, Silver-washed Fritillary 1 and Small Tortoiseshell 1. That day I also saw Large White, Small Tortoiseshell and Yellow Shell moth flying over or in the garden which was great. The next day back at Lakeside it was great to see a few Black-tailed Skimmers again a brilliant dragonfly to have so close to home.

That following Thursday on the official eve of the ‘Big Butterfly count’ it was great to see so many of the species I saw a lot during those weeks again at Lakeside as well as a burnet moth flying, as well as get cracking views of Cinnabar moth caterpillar which I took the third picture in this photoset of and a Banded Demoiselle which was nice. I did another ‘Big Butterfly Count’ in the meadow area by the entrance to the woods in the south west of the site that Friday a very hot and sunny day. In the count I saw 15 Meadow Browns, 6 Gatekeepers, 6 Six-spot Burnet moths funnily enough including two mating, 4 Large Whites, 4 Small Skippers, 2 Peacocks and 1 Brown Argus, Common Blue and Marbled White in the 15 minutes. A pretty similar amount to what I counted at this location the Thursday before when you could submit results. During this time here I also saw more common red soldier beetle and cinnabar moth caterpillars on ragwort. Beforehand I submitted more count data when I saw two Large Whites from home in and around the garden again. When at Lakeside for another walk that evening I did another ‘Big Butterfly Count’ at the Marbled White meadow area a name I give the meadows of the south eastern bit of the site. Gatekeeper came out on top with 8 seen in a tight race beating Meadow Brown into second with 7, I also counted 6 Large Whites, 3 Small Whites, 1 Common Blue, 1 Green-veined White, 1 of one of my favourites the Red Admiral and 1 Speckled Wood. Again similar numbers to when I counted at this part of the site the Friday before, and a little less than the place by the woods as it was the week before too. Which proved my theory about more butterflies being at that point at Lakeside whilst there were absolutely so many at both. The two big species observations are that perhaps I was right to do some counts around the weekend before here and elsewhere early as I only saw one Marbled White that day and didn’t see any Ringlets so some species technically in this early butterfly year could have had lesser numbers during the count. The other is from doing them the week before the Gatekeepers seemed lower and could not compete with its partner as the most numerous butterflies each year really the Meadow Brown. The Gatekeepers emerge later even they emerged earlier this year though but we were a week on in their season and there’s was more about then we were still quite early in their season so it makes a difference. It at that stage meant there were only two of the Big Butterfly Count target species I was yet to observe in a 15 minutes of counting so far which felt great. More great fun had counting butterflies that day it really is so rewarding to do and makes your mind feel so focused and enriched when out on hot and sunny days. Also nice to see a Black-tailed Skimmer at Lakeside that day. I took the fourth picture in this photoset of a lovely ladybird that day. The next day I saw Large White really well in the garden and a Holly Blue flying over which I submitted to the count after seeing lots of butterflies at Fleming Park that day a very hot and sunny summer day. On the day after I saw a storm of Gatekeepers, Six-spot Burnet, Meadow Brown and Small White butterflies during some more butterfly counting at Lakeside on another lovely relaxed day, but a greyer one so this was nice. Large and Small Whites seemed to be recorded very well by me and others and have a good year in the Big Butterfly Count 2020.

I began that next week with a butterfly filled and very hot and sunny day off first going to Peartree Green, where I did another big butterfly count in which I managed to see my most butterflies of one species at that stage in the 15 minutes with 25 Gatekeepers seen. This felt amazing. It was probably when we were there at the height of a hot morning the most individual butterflies I had counted in this survey this year at that stage all together, as I also saw 12 Large White, 2 Meadow Brown, 2 Small Skipper and 1 Holly Blue, Marbled White, Peacock and Red Admiral each. We then moved onto West Wood when my Mum based on walks she had there without me on hot and sunny days this year said I would see a lot of butterflies and sure enough we did walking along the paths. As we approached a bubbling piece of buddleia or butterfly bush I did another big butterfly count. This patch of counting absolutely topped the one in the morning for amount I saw and Meadow Brown regained its crown as the butterfly I have seen most of at once with 31 seen, the Gatekeeper was less numerous but still present here as I saw 10. There were also 15 Peacocks, more Large Whites with 11 seen. A pleasing 8 Ringlets they had quietened down at that stage as well as 6 Small Skippers, 5 Red Admiral, 3 Brimstone 1 Comma, 1 Dark Green Fritillary, 1 Green-veined White 1, 1 Holly Blue, 1 Large Skipper, 1 Silver-washed Fritillary and 1 Speckled Wood completed the count. As we walked on we reached a patch of flowers and thick vegetation where my Mum had said she’d seen hundreds of butterflies together before. This was no exaggeration as on these plants it was absolutely covered in butterflies. It was sensational to see and was like a seabird colony covering a cliff for scale and magnitude. There were particularly masses of Peacocks one of my best ever moments with this species. But Brimstone, Red Admiral, Comma, Meadow Brown, Large White and Large Skipper were also present. This was absolutely a sight to behold, it was an unimaginable amount of butterflies all soaking up the sun together. And I found it a real leveller. Some there were my favourite butterflies, some quite rare, other more ordinary but together they made this scene adorable, captivating and unbelievable. I didn’t get any butterfly year ticks that day or see anything new but I can still describe it as one of my best ever days of butterfly watching which whilst it’s not always about the lists still speaks volumes I think. I had simply never seen scenes like this in ten years of butterfly watching. A wow moment in nature. I was so lucky to have this at this supreme patch of butterflies. That day I also got perhaps my best ever Scarlet tiger moth views really seeing this stunning moth one of my favourites and a quintessential part of summer with its amazing colours so close I took a standout picture in my year of this one. I also saw another amazing beetle my first ever black and yellow longhorn beetle fitting into this year well which was great. Away from insects a Roe Deer crossing the path closely to us a couple of times was very pleasant that day too. That day I took the fifth and sixth pictures in this photoset of a Large White butterfly and Brimstone and Large Skipper together a photo of the likes I’d not taken before getting two species together in focus in shot which was what the day was all about really. In hindsight that day was one of my best wildlife and photography days of my year with how much I saw so well, but when doing my end of year posts and others that involved selecting my strongest pictures of the year photos from this day of which I took around 30 I think especially the insects cropped up again and again it had so many of my favourite pictures that day.

On another very hot and sunny one the next day I did another Big Butterfly Count on a pleasant Lakeside lunch time that began as soon as I got out the door with two of fourteen Large Whites counted in the time in our garden. As I walked along the path at the north of the site a Gatekeeper stronghold in the bushy vegetation above the grass down the side came good as I saw seventeen of these, at that stage the highest of any one species I’d seen in a count at Lakeside this year. Three Meadow Brown and Common Blue and two Speckled Wood completed the count. It was also great to see Small Skipper and Brown Argus that day as well as Blue-tailed Damselflies and Emperor dragonfly at Lakeside and a dragonfly I didn’t quite get time to identify flying towards me in the estate as I got home. The Gatekeeper fest continued the next day at Lakeside another great day as I saw 26 during another big butterfly count. Large White and Meadow Brown continued to do well with 12 and 7 seen respectively, as well as 2 Small Whites and 1 Comma, Common Blue, Brown Argus, Peacock and Speckled Wood. That day I also got another brilliant view of a Roe Deer close by walking through the grasses in the south east of the site. The next day I did an impromptu big butterfly count whilst walking around the lakes at Lakeside when I spotted Brimstone which I hardly ever see there and one of two Speckled Woods I counted during the time. Also in the count I saw; six Gatekeeper and Large White, three Meadow Browns their numbers were heading down on my Lakeside counts they had been out for so long that summer there by that point with Marbled Whites not present at all really at that stage there, one Common Blue and as I walked up the path from the lakes to the entrance between the fenced off nature reserve I saw a Six-spot Burnet moth not far from the spot I saw my first burnet moth 10 years ago a Five-spot Burnet which started my love affair with burnet moths a key stage in my little interest in moths early on which we’re obviously in the anniversary year for so that was nice. I had a dragonfly bonanza of sorts that day with yet another brilliant and close up Emperor view and another Black-tailed Skimmer over the lake. I got a fitting great few views of dragonflies that week for national dragonfly week. That next day the Friday I saw more white butterflies in the garden possibly a small this time as well as whites made our garden their home, a day sunflowers in the garden had began to really come out a bit seeing these iconic flowers in our garden and photographing them was a joy. I also saw Red Admiral and another dragonfly outside the house and at Lakeside which was nice that day. I did a big butterfly count again at lunch time on my walk focusing on the bushy areas beside Lakeside Country Park to the north in which I saw; 8 Gatekeeper, 5 Large White, 3 Meadow Brown and 1 Holly Blue, Ringlet, Small White and Speckled Wood. That evening I made the most of summer and light, sunny, hot and peaceful evenings and being based at home for work by taking my by that point regular Friday evening walk to start the weekend which felt great. The next day on a walk it rained from start to finish the other side of the upper car park at Martin Down I still saw quite a few moths, and it was remarkable to see a big snail a Roman or Burgundy or (which I preferred as a name) Edible snail they’re all among various names for it a brilliant species to see very distinctive, pretty and hard to miss. I photographed this as well as a slug in the garden when home making the most of wildlife on a wet day in the summer.  

The next day I had one of my most memorable afternoons of the year at a colourful looking largely cloudy but with sun coming through Stockbridge Down, one of my best days of 2020 as Man United my football team progressed into the Champions League beating Leicester City to finish third in the Premier League. At Stockbridge Down I was treated to scores and seas of Chalkhilll Blues flying over the rich meadows with many landed, both male and female. I took the seventh picture in this photoset of one. I saw perhaps more together than I ever had before that day a local speciality at the peak of their summer season. I really got to appreciate them as one of my favourite butterflies that day male and female, another experience this summer I loved seeing lots of butterflies at once. Of course impressively for how cloudy it was at times I did another big butterfly count that day, during this I saw 15 Meadow Browns, 6 Large Whites, 5 Gatekeepers, 4 Six-spot Burnet moths, 1 Brimstone, Brown Argus, Dark Green Fritillary, Peacock, Ringlet, Silver Y moth to mean the only species I was yet to see on one of these counts the species they are after sightings of was Painted Lady at that stage and also 1 Small Copper and Small Skipper. It was interesting the little local variations in my top 3 butterflies for these counts this year. Large Whites I saw a lot of everywhere. But I seemed to see Gatekeeper as the most I saw during a count more in urban locations but I saw more Meadow Browns in the rural locations. But the other did tend to do well in the counts for their not so strong area each time. That day I also loved seeing crickets flitting about and other little moths. That day it was nice to notice and photograph harebells, some fantastic and pretty purply flowers one of my favourites to learn thus year. When home I saw a bee on one of the sunflowers in the garden which was lovely.

On the Wednesday that following week I did my next big butterfly count as a hot and sunny patch which I had my lunch time walk within brought out so many in the grasses of Lakeside. I saw especially lots of Six-spot Burnet moth like the one in the eighth picture in this photoset, Common Blue and Brown Argus there which was great with three, four and six seen respectively whilst counting. I also saw; more Large Whites than anything with twelve, four Meadow Browns and Gatekeepers and one Brimstone, Holly Blue, Red Admiral and Small Skipper. I saw a dragonfly but couldn’t quite see what too on a very memorable walk that day for photos and wildlife. It felt quite fitting as this year 10 years on from seeing it the anniversary year I worked out from a photo what I thought was my first ever Six-spot Burnet at Lakeside in 2010 which I got excited about was actually a Five-spot Burnet. So I realised it was that species that made me fall in love with burnets, but I was so excited about Six-spot Burnet back then and still love them now so that and other times especially during the big butterfly count where they are a target species I have seen them has really made me celebrate and appreciate them views of them really stood out that day. I saw another decent batch of butterflies the next day on my walk at Lakeside a very hot and sunny one, submitting some more data to big butterfly count. It was interesting to see both blues booming that week with more Common Blues and a Holly Blue close to the house as well as a Small Heath my first for months on the green outside adding to the variety of butterflies I have seen immediately outside home this year. That Friday on the hottest day of the year at that stage it was nice to see a Small Tortoiseshell close beside the house. And I saw slightly less numbers possibly because of the heat so they weren’t flying to alert me to them possibly because a lot of the species seasons were getting on in a big butterfly count I found interesting to do at Lakeside in very hot conditions. This included a notable 8 Speckled Wood in the woods, 9 Large White, 4 Meadow Brown, another notable haul of Common Blues seen with 3, 2 Gatekeepers and 1 Brown Argus in the time counting. It was still a very decent amount of butterflies it was lovely to see dancing along on a very hot and sunny day for sure making me really feel at the peak of summer days as I did a lot that week as perhaps things looked to go a bit quiet with day flying moths and butterflies but then that week I saw so many and was reminded the peak peak season was still upon us. I also saw two more quick dragonflies I couldn’t quite see what that day and a Cinnabar moth caterpillar, ladybird and cricket in the grass.

Our August began at Emer Bog and Baddesley Common reserve in Hampshire where on a sun in and out and even at one point slightly rainy afternoon half of the productive first half hour of the walk was spent doing a big butterfly count with an impressive 23 Gatekeepers seen with one Meadow Brown and Common Blue and other butterflies later on in the walk. That day on one piece of booming ragwort I saw one of the Gatekeepers, of course Cinnabar moth caterpillars and common red soldier beetle once more on this flower and also another insect that seems to like ragwort my first ever Antler moth a very pretty one to see. A fifth new identified moth for me in 2020 at that stage as zooming in on nature in my walks rather continued and this being a year I really celebrated moths and noticed and enjoyed them which was great. I took a picture of this one where you could see the yellow from the plant on its antenna which was great. The delve into moths continued that day when we saw a striking caterpillar later on in the walk which turned out to be a Buff-tip moth caterpillar. A fantastic walk of insects and more headlined by these two. The next day back at the beautiful looking Magdalen Hill despite a few showers in the walk on a sunny start and sunny at times I did another big butterfly count. In this it was the first time ever for me I think that Common Blue came out on top in the 15 minutes with 13 seen, the mass second emergence of blues I’d seen at that point continued with two Small Blues the latest in the year I’ve ever seen them and it does seem they emerge a second time in late August so again the butterfly year was shown to be ahead and 1 Holly Blue. Of course my three other leaders in counts this year Gatekeeper with 1, Meadow Brown with 2 and Large White with 4 also featured as well as 3 Six-spot Burnet moths.  As this walk went on it was lovely to see many more Chalkhill Blues this year. Beautiful sights, as was a few poppies in the fields there I took a standout picture of one, meaning that was four species of blue seen that day quite memorable. I did a more specific big butterfly count in the nature reserve area at Lakeside the next day seeing five Meadow Browns, two Large Whites and one Gatekeeper. I also really continued to see and photograph the many brilliant sunflowers we had in our garden over those two days I really did love seeing them this year. On that Wednesday it was a goal achieved this summer to count a Small Copper at Lakeside during a big butterfly count again as I had in my first ever count in 2016. Seeing this one very well and taking a picture in the south eastern meadow areas of the site, alongside 19 Large Whites, 7 Meadow Brown, more great blues with 3 Common and 2 Holly, 2 Small White and 1 Brimstone, Comma and just the one Gatekeeper as they went a bit quiet on those days and Meadow Browns increased a bit, was part of a real burst of butterflies I saw so many again on a hot and sunny walk. It felt fantastic. That night we were lucky and happy to see a bat flying around out the window my first of the year.

I had a great insect day at Lakeside on my walk at lunch time 6th August getting cracking Black-tailed Skimmer and Emperor views a day after seeing a Common Darter there reflecting on with those two especially how I have discovered whilst working from home just how good my local Lakeside is for dragon and damselflies. That day I also saw scores of common red soldier beetles on some nice white flowers which was great. Butterfly wise I loved seeing Brimstone and Large White really well on that walk, I photographed two Speckled Woods late on memorably along the woodland path to the west of the site. That day I didn’t do a big butterfly count I did a memorable one the day before but I reflected with it coming to an end how much I had enjoyed taking part again and again for that month or so. I thought Butterfly Conservation did a fantastic job running the count again it was so easy to do and I just loved having the chance to tell them what butterflies were about and how many in my local Lakeside and other strong butterfly locations in a national and regional context in Hampshire. I felt I was doing my bit and I especially loved the leaderboard on the website at that stage I was 40th out of the millions that took part in terms of how many butterflies I had seen in all my various counts I had counted nearly 700 butterflies in the counts which opened my eyes it was rather good this year for how many butterflies I saw in the summer I must say but to just how many butterflies I do see whilst out in summer especially. The next day was the hottest UK August day since 2003 and I had the pleasure of two Friday Lakeside walks which were very atmospheric that lunch time in the sun with many people enjoying it and relaxing and time full evening vibes it was so light, still, clear and summery. During it all I saw many butterflies; lots of Gatekeepers and Meadow Browns at Lakeside, Large White and a blue possibly in our garden beforehand, some others I didn’t see well enough to identify and a moth or two with one coming in the house that boiling night too. A bee had nearly flown in my room that day and I saw memorable flowers at home and in the wild the sunflowers, fuchsia and buddleia in the garden featuring a lot again I loved seeing them this year as I produced nearly 40 pictures that day! Something that would become common especially for Fridays as the year went on.

As the heatwave continued we went to Farlington Marshes where I had an amazing time for seeing butterflies that Saturday. We firstly finally saw my first Painted Lady of the year a very key species for me to see this year one I always aim to see. It was lovely to see this one and another and what’s more I was able to then include it in a big butterfly count a day before it closed. Meaning for the first time since I started doing this citizen science project in 2016 that every species you can submit sightings of I managed to see at least once in a count which I was proud of. That day was rather stolen though by views of well into double figures of Wall Browns flying around, great to see after getting a quick view of my first of the year flying over the car park at Portland in June. They really were so in place in this dry coastal habitat on one of the hottest days of the year, it was actually the first I had ever seen in Hampshire my home county, and it seems loads emerged in the country over the first part of that heatwave so it was brilliant to be part of it. I also saw as I often do at that time of year here a good few Small Heaths. Completing my butterfly count there were seven Gatekeepers, three Meadow Browns, two Common Blue and Large White and one Peacock and Small White. All of this really underpinned what I’ve learnt the last couple of years and our last visit here in the late spring that this nature reserve we’ve always known for birds is a fantastic location for butterflies too with so many about in the season. It does stand to reason actually as its renowned for its rare and varied grasses I was once told on an information tour round there but it’s something I never truly embraced before. I enjoyed seeing some lovely rock samphire flowers that hot day too.

The next day on the last day of the survey the big butterfly count came to the best possible end for me when among two that day at different locations the other I wrote about in my New Forest highlights post I did an epic one at the beautiful Old Winchester Hill in the South Downs National Park on one of the hottest days of the year. Old Winchester Hill is just a charming meadow adorned landscape in the downs, it simply one of Hampshire’s most beautiful spots in my eyes so it was amazing to be there on what is a now annual visit for us it’s come back into our lives majorly since 2018 thanks to butterflies it was somewhere we discovered early last decade possibly late the one before that. It was another day this year where I saw hundreds of butterflies, 40 Meadow Browns in the 15 minute count led the way as well as 6 Gatekeeper, 6 Large White, 4 Common Blue, 1 Brimstone, Red Admiral, Six-spot Burnet and Small White. That day I also saw many Small Heaths, Brown Argus, Adonis Blue and hundreds of Chalkhill Blues overall once more probably some even tried to land on me which was a sensational intimate wildlife moment for me this year and seeing them all again was just incredible. But most notably on that scorching walk at Old Winchester Hill I saw my first Silver-spotted Skipper and Clouded Yellows of the year seeing three each. It was amazing two of my best butterflies of the year simply, ones I could not guarantee I would see but this place more so for the former but with the latter in my head too gave me the hope to see them and I was so happy I did. I loved sitting on the grass photographing a Silver-spotted Skipper close up and seeing a Clouded Yellow dart past and another land put me in heaven it was more intimate moments. It was one of those utopian afternoons where everything I hoped to happen did really with top birds seen too. The Silver-spotted Skipper and Clouded Yellow sightings together with that Painted Lady at Farlington took my year list over two days from a worthy 40 to a magical 43, overtaking my 2018 total and making my 2020 butterfly year list my second highest ever behind last year. This is no less than my 2020 butterflies deserved for how amazing it’s been, with the amount of butterflies I saw and how positive it all was because from the spring emergence onwards it was to the harrowing backdrop of the huge impact on everyone’s lives the coronavirus had and the lockdown and that. Seeing butterflies were an amazing thing to keep me going during the initial bits of that time. But the restrictions easing to allow slightly further afield travel to exercise happened at the right time for me to luckily see my usual variety of butterflies in years as spring marched on. Then as we hurtled towards summer there was the most notable thing of my butterfly year being how early everything was with my first sighting of nearly every butterfly this year being either my earliest or second earliest ever sighting of one in a year. The whole season was a little ahead. Fitting that the Silver-spotted Skipper was my earliest and Clouded Yellow my third earliest ever sightings of the species in a year. Then through summer the big thing for me I think was the amount of days I saw hundreds of butterflies usually with one lead species but many species together which were exceptional moments and that day was definitely in the top four so far for that. But like the day here last year I saw the Silver-spotted Skipper happiness at this happening at the height of the heatwave was tinged with a little sadness these were my last additions to my butterfly year list this year. What a quick it seemed but sensational journey I have been on for sure. But I’d have taken 43 before the year began and would have jumped at it when lockdown which was needed I would never argue against that the health and wellbeing of everyone came first made it look like it may be difficult to see many of the usual species this year due to locations they are at. I knew there were two species geographically I would not see this year. So to miss out on very few I could have seen is phenomenal I feel and made me so happy. So I was just thrilled with how I’ve done. That day I also saw some brilliant flowers in the meadow everywhere during wildflower hour on Twitter I was told two were Perforate St. John’s-wort and Small Scabious both I had seen a lot of other places this year both were beautiful.

Small Heath and Meadow Brown were lovely pretty butterflies to see quite well as the heatwave continued that following week at Lakeside. That night a lovely big moth flew in to the living room and bounced off the walls, ceiling and light brilliant to watch. As was a reddish insect possibly a moth in the woods south of the bowl at Lakeside a nice fairly secluded little path I’d found the next day and a Meadow Brown surprisingly in this shaded area on another very scorching and sunny day. On a peaceful evening that night to the backdrop of a nice sunset sky I saw another lovely little moth as I went in my room after coming back from a socially distant visit to my Dad’s house that night. My light was off at that point and it flew and fluttered towards the window so I opened it with it on it in case it wanted to get outside. If they’re attracted to a light on inside I’ll probably leave them in for the evening but this one had probably got in either tonight or last night and wanted to get out. After I photographed it on the window it flew off outside into the summer night and there was something quite magic about that. Seeing it against some red in the sky was very interesting in the heat wave. The next day I saw a third Small Dusty Wave moth in the house this year getting very close to it, and alongside some butterflies a beautiful female Common Darter starred on a Lakeside walk that lunch time I took a picture of it so a great couple of moments. On that Friday I saw Meadow Brown and Large White at Lakeside on a lunch time walk it was brilliant to see many pond skaters on a lake and photograph one another lovely insect to enjoy seeing this year. That night belonged to moths with including the Small Dusty Wave from the day before four moths flying into our living room and settled at once. One we didn’t see landed for very long so couldn’t tell which, one was a Yellow Shell one I know well on the eve of my 10 year anniversary of seeing my first ever and the other turned out to be a Heart and Dart one that landed very nicely and I took a macro photo of which I was pleased with the ninth in this photoset one of my best moth photos this year. Another new moth for me this year and this capped off a super summer week of moths for me with so many seen and I felt so interested in and engaged by them. It’s interesting as the butterfly year showed signs of slowing down a bit with my last year ticks, moths then took centre stage as so many are about as the summer gets later. The next morning on a showery day a massive bumble bee came into my room through an open window and tried to get out the closed window. It climbed up the window repeatedly in anticipation then slumped back down when it realised it couldn’t fly out of the top. I stood on my bed beside with a glass and an envelope with something in it to attempt a rescue. I watched it and connected to it, studying its movement and picking my moment. I struck just right and interrupted its rhythm to perfection it seemed by putting the glass over it to capture it. I checked the bee was in the glass, and slid the envelope over the bottom. As I moved the glass and envelope away I just caught sight of it moving in the glass. Then I hung it out of the window with the envelope removed and it flew out. As I watched it fly back into the open air I was relieved that this glorious wild creature was back out into the wild. A rewarding moment. And talking of glass that evening when home I took another picture of the Small Dusty Wave moth in the house on the mirror in the living room which made it a very interesting and unique photo opportunity showing its reflection.

At Hayling Island’s Earnley Triangle and oyterbeds that Sunday that followed I saw some nice butterflies on a rainy turned sunny in the end day including Peacock and Comma and a nice little moth which was great. I photographed a Yellow Shell moth that stayed in the living room a bit that night. I enjoyed the Yellow Shell again the next night, a Monday at Lakeside at lunch I saw and photographed Large White butterfly and saw Meadow Brown well in a sunny patch of a changeable weather day as a whole. That hot period of time I was thrilled to see Large White and Red Admiral in the garden one of my best garden butterfly moments this year it was very precious when I got home. The next day I noted lots more Large Whites at Lakeside in patches of sun which was brilliant to see. I am not sure if it was the decrease in variety of butterfly species at Lakeside making them stand out but Large Whites seemed to be on the increase those few days at Lakeside which was nice for mid-August really. When home that day I was delighted to take a picture of an orange flower one of a patch I took loads of in the garden especially in sunny conditions this year and enjoyed with a lovely minute snail on it in the sun. The next day a very wet one alongside seeing and photographing garden birds in the rain which was enjoyable I noticed perhaps something they helped to create by scattering a seed on the balcony a lovely sunflower there I’d never seen one on the balcony before and when I went to take a photo I noticed a bee on it in a strong year for sunflowers at home I loved seeing them whilst working from home. The next day a much sunnier and hotter one I saw Meadow Brown, Comma and Large White at Lakeside as well as a great view of a lovely male Common Darter in the sun. That night I saw my first ever Box tree moth at home adding to my year and especially summer with so many about of moths well they are so beautiful a lovely black and white moth very striking. Over those next few weeks we had loads around the house and garden. A day I had amazing times on the eve of Devon as I said in my second favourite birds post taking one of the highest amounts and some of my best pictures whilst working from home that day. The next morning we left for our Devon and Cornwall weekend away which I posted about in the eighth of these posts talking about butterflies, other insects and flowers seen during it. The night we returned home we got a very interesting and pretty moth in the house a very unique looking one. I later found out it was an Orange Swift thanks to the kind help of MothIDUK on Twitter a tool I have used so much in my deeper delve into moths this year one of the best moths generally and new moths I have seen for me this year.

The night we returned from Devon I loved photographing a sunflower on the balcony again as I did a lot and we saw a further moth in the garden that Wednesday lunch time another nice one a Willow beauty, before I went on a walk where I was reminded strong butterfly experiences could still be had late on in the peak season in the grasses of Lakeside as I saw many Large Whites what a year I had for them and got really close to and photographed a female Common Blue another Lakeside star for me this unique year. Very nice moments, with one of a few lovely crickets seen this year seen nearby. That Friday I was delighted to see a common green lacewing in the kitchen on the ceiling another fantastic, beautiful and unique insect for me to see especially locally this year. I also loved seeing Great Willowherb at Lakeside flower wise that day not the first time I had seen some here I saw loads late summer this year in my deeper delve into flowers but it was the first time after I found out what it was so I enjoyed taking a picture! I was delighted to get a great Small Copper view as well as see Meadow Brown and Large White and a Southern Hawker flying and looking us in the eye as they are famous for in mid-late summer at Hook-with-Warsash the next day August bank holiday Saturday. I saw Small White and a nice moth later that day when we moved onto Farlington Marshes. In a time when seeing butterflies in a day wasn’t a given anymore with the peak season coming to an end on August bank holiday Monday it was nice to return to the beautiful Old Winchester Hill mostly for birdwatching purposes this time and see Speckled Wood, Peacock and a few Meadow Browns and Large Whites. That day I marvelled at its landscape once again we walked a different way at the top of the place mostly, and it was especially lovely seeing its meadow habitat still in full flair and supporting insects I saw another nice snail that day too and being reminded you can see down to the coast from this big beauty spot I saw the Isle of Wight and Fawley Power station that day. A very memorable day.

The next day at Lakeside it was nice to see another female Common Darter very well a great moment, as well some more St. John’s-wort flower a lovely yellow one I have seen so many this year especially at Lakeside and that night a nice dark brown moth a form of Box-tree moth came in the house which I photographed among a few others seen which was great. The day after I saw some Large White butterflies at Lakeside, another Box tree moth on the buddleia outside as we were inundated with them and some smashing red flowers growing beside the house possibly a snapdragon as I saw some of these growing outside our fence further up and photographed them and enjoyed them this year. The next day I was delighted to see a Common Darter dragonfly a star of those few weeks outside of the house around the vegetation such a lovely species to have so close to home. The next day I saw Speckled Wood and Large White at Lakeside which was nice, as other insects stole the show rather including my first ever known sighting of a really fresh, bright, colourful and lovely looking cyrphus ribesii hoverfly what a beautiful creature to see. I noticed it on the green out the front on my way to Lakeside that lunch time whilst looking at a wonderful spider I saw really well and photographed in a nice web. A generally special and packed day for wildlife and photos for me this year that Friday. I also saw some great flowers that day such as bird’s foot trefoil which I saw so much of in the grass by Lakeside this year and musk mallow which was the same story. The next day as I saw Large Whites at Pennington on a sunny afternoon I decided that day to add three species to my list of favourite butterflies, Green Hairstreak, Marbled White and Brown Argus formerly on my B list of favourite butterflies achieving a promotion after I had a strong 2020 for all and decided I loved them enough to call them favourites. I added species to both my bird and butterfly B lists that day too I like to have thinks and make additions/promotions in March and September each year now, mammals and dragonflies I have a list of favourites but not B lists and whilst I added no mammals Black-tailed Skimmer and Four-spotted Chaser joined their keeled and broad-bodies relatives on my list of favourite dragon and damselflies alongside the Emperor that day too. Alongside the whites dominating the usual species hanging on at the end of the summer on the 6th September the next day I saw I think my latest Common Grayling in a year at Ashley Walk in the New Forest a lovely faded one adding well to the ones I saw in July. I photographed hebe, rose and sedum in the garden that day beforehand which was nice.

To start the new week in early September I enjoyed seeing another spider in my room in the shower a small one and more Common Darters at Lakeside. I also had one of my best ever flower days in the year I am waking up to flowers and learning more and more of them with a greater appetite to notice and photograph them with my new macro lens and with my PlantNet app in hand to help ID them. I got stunning views of as well as nice flowers at home at Lakeside an array of wild flowers I had seen a lot of at Lakeside already this year; Great Willowherb, Purple Loosestrife, Bird’s-foot trefoil, Meadow-cranes bill and buttercup some I learned and consolidated my knowledge on what they were and this just scratched the surface of amazing flowers I saw that day. It was a brilliant botanical year for me up until that point with some of my greatest moments of my year seeing flowers but knowing what more of them were really gave my flower days substance and made it even more exciting to learn and watch them. In autumnal times these flowers in the sun here gave me a slice of summer. The next day there was more of a slice of summer with hot and sunny weather bringing out a good few more butterflies on my daily Lakeside walk notably Speckled Woods one I got very close to and took a picture of and Large Whites, I also saw Emperor and Common Darter dragonfly there that day too a day a wasp flew into my room. Speckled Wood, Large White, Common Darter and Emperor were stars the next day and the day after at Lakeside too, even if it was the peak season end signalling sign being the day I noticed most of Lakeside’s meadows had been mowed with some bits left on the margins with flowers and for insects, in something of an Indian summer for butterflies and those two species in particular in hot and quite sunny weather. I enjoyed fantastic views of an early autumnal boom of the bright and big orange Californian poppies and other flowers on the patch of flowers in the estate I always love seeing and enjoyed immensely photographing them so many times macro shots and views over or the bed in views that week.

I had a monumental moment in my late peak butterfly season when I saw a pale form of another Clouded Yellow on the green outside the house on my way back from Lakeside on 11th September. What a moment to see the something of an enigma of a charming butterfly twice in a year (a month and two days after my first 2020) sighting for the second year running and for the third September on the trot. Seeing an almost white one is not something you see every day either but seeing a butterfly of this calibre which I hope I’ll see every year but it’s never guaranteed more or less outside the house was phenomenal and I loved it joining other notable species I’d seen on this green for the first time ever in this area this year something working from home walks were so good for. I also saw Speckled Wood with Large White in the garden I’d never seen the former in our garden before when I got home and Common Darter and other dragonflies well at Lakeside. Finding some poor man’s weather-glass lovely little red flowers another standout one I’ve seen and learned this year in on the green among more great flowers that day stood out too including daisy like ones I’ve had the best year especially locally for daisies from the lovely oxeye down to the little ones. The next day at Farlington Marshes where we had seen one before in 2018 I was delighted to see a Clouded Yellow fly over in the grasses by the stream. It marked the first time I’d seen this butterfly on three occasions in one year and first time I’d seen two in two days as in a brilliant period of hot and sunny September weather it became a boom year of Clouded Yellows for me really. Exceptional to see, alongside a few of the reserve in late summer specialities I’ve noticed Small Heath, Comma, some Large Whites and a dragonfly that flew very fast and many flowers. It was a good moth night that night too with two great ones seen and I photographed at home including my first ever Garden Carpet moth another great one to see this year.

The next day we went to Martin Down I had never been in September before and whilst you could make out subtle differences to coming when I normally do in the peak butterfly season like angles of sunlight it being so sunny throughout and the high temperature out during a patch of very warm and sunny weather it felt very much like coming here in high spring and summer. Quite confusing in my mind out of context then that the meadows were still brimming with wildflowers which looked lovely but the circus of butterflies was barely there. That was only because a lot had just come to the end of their seasons and were not around anymore. But I did see a whole host of all-season and re-emerging butterflies here that day, most notably Small Copper and Small Heath with some great views of so many of both that afternoon two very nice butterflies. Large White, Peacocks and Meadow Brown were also around on another top day for lots of wildlife seen generally a memorable one. It also became a day for wildflowers largely with so many great ones seen of different colours and shapes I loved that variety of these special organisms, in my growing flower interest the ones I recognised or found out what they are were devil’s-bit scabious, small scabious, common/yellow toadflax or “butter-and-eggs”, common knapweed, rosebay willowherb, harebell one of a few in this group I had seen and photographed before elsewhere this year and enjoyed and some yellow ones possibly a type of ragwort as I love seeing hebe, sunflower and more in the garden before and after our walk that day and getting photos. The next day in a very hot and sunny one in the heatwave I had a brilliant day for butterflies, other insects and other wildlife/flowers at home and Lakeside as I enjoyed seeing Small Copper at Lakeside, Brimstone in the garden for the first ever time I think battling with Large White on the buddleia in the back garden I took the tenth and final picture in this photoset of the Brimstone, my first damselfly for a while a Blue-tailed Damselfly at Lakeside, some dragonflies flying very fast likely an Emperor included, agrimony flower at Lakeside a long yellow one I enjoyed seeing so much of at Lakeside in the meadows this year, a brilliant view of a slow worm at Lakeside, the Californian poppies and others at the flower bed in the estate looked very big which I found interesting that and by them on a really nice spider web I saw a cranefly which was interesting.

I had one of my dragonfly moments of the year the next day at Lakeside seeing another incredibly special one for me I never imagined were at Lakeside really so it showed me once more just what I can see when I open my eyes as in the midst of the heatwave that was upon us I was thrilled to see a special Migrant Hawker over the lakes. My first of the year and only third ever which was a truly brilliant moment with one of our best and mostly lovely coloured dragonflies of the brown, blue and black it was a male I had not often seen the males. This was a good moment for me to continue to learn the species quite a bit too which I liked a strong memory of this Indian summer. This added a late bit of gloss to my dragonfly and damselfly year list as it reached a figure of 14 I was happy with. That afternoon I saw a little dock bug in my room and photographed it before letting it out back into the wild, Common Darter was also a star at Lakeside that day. When I got to Lakeside on my walk on another extremely hot day the heat once more carried on a resurgence of butterflies being about in that period, both Speckled Wood and especially Small Copper are ones I saw in great numbers then alongside Large White at a few locations including here some newer ones emerging perhaps and I loved in the sun taking pictures of Speckled Wood and Small Copper with my macro lens. A great walk seeing them in the sun that day. That night like many as I sat after work the evening was set to a nice almost lazy shine of the sun creating a shaded garden and atmosphere which with the sun setting earlier and earlier as summer made it’s long exit made me nostalgic to how it was at this time of day when I first began working from home in March into April. I was enthused to check the sun setting that if I could after hearing about the dust plumes that had come from the US wildfires coming over to create dramatic sunsets a quite sombre but in a weird way beautifully natural thought showing we are all connected and this could travel and I was delighted to see another nice one that week a beautiful end to a beautiful day. The next day on the balcony I saw a wasp and a spider in its web. I believe the wasp had been ensnared and was to be fed on as I watched it desperately try to escape whilst the spider supervised. I was lucky to witness a though brutal quite fascinating piece of nature up close that day. On my Lakeside walk I enjoyed views of Red Admiral, Speckled Wood again, Small White, Migrant Hawker dragonfly again and Common Darter, a nice big brown moth and some speedwell flowers too as I saw another sunflower around the house in the front garden when home. The next day I liked seeing dragonflies again at Lakeside, another sunflower at home in the patch of flowers outside the fence a nice flower moment despite seeing the beautiful patch in the estate mowed all over which was sad like the mushrooms I mentioned that were in my next of these highlights blogs about autumn, Box Tree moth outside at Lakeside and on the green rather than at home and a Comma and a few other butterflies at Lakeside. I had some great butterfly (and other insect and flower) moments when we went away to Norfolk the following week which I post about in my ninth of these blogs.

On the Saturday we returned from Norfolk I enjoyed seeing hebe, dahlia, fuchsia and more in the garden in bright sunshine and a very nice “T-shaped moth” a plume one I believe in the kitchen. The next day at Fleet Pond in nice sunshine I enjoyed seeing Specked Wood and Migrant Hawker, as well as a growing patch of flowers comically for us situated outside of our fence including sunflower, the snapdragons I noticed frequently here and others. Highlights on my walk to and from Lakeside that lunch time on the Monday that followed included a late Comma I saw one the next day too, a broad-leaved clover I liked photographing and a crane fly and a worm I got pictures of and enjoyed seeing too. I enjoyed seeing Common Darters at Lakeside the next day too. On that Thursday at Lakeside Country Park I loved seeing two Common Darters joined together so in the middle of mating as I had done with damselflies in the spring here and a Migrant Hawker flying over in a nice bright sunny patch. Some white flowering on nettles possibly bee nettles caught my eye at Lakeside that day too as did a pink flower at home in the garden that lunch time. That Saturday as stormy weather emerged and the peak butterfly season was really quietening down I did enjoy a Speckled Wood and quick views of an unidentified dragonfly at Farlington Marshes which was nice. That next Monday I liked seeing a late Large White really on the green out the front and forget-me-nots more lovely flowers to observe over Lakeside on a strong day for flowers where I took lots of pictures of them in the garden one memorably a picture of one on the balcony in slight sunlight reflected onto the screen of the fence. That day I also took a memorable picture of a bumble bee and a hoverfly on the buddleia bush as this plant still really provided into the autumn for these which was so nice. The next day I saw a few Speckled Woods at Lakeside getting one of my best butterfly moments of the year with one seeing it up so close and getting a picture I was happy with. I got nicely close to it on a sunny patch of a day and the way it was flying and landing it was an though it was newly emerged which was interesting. This intimate and connected to nature moment made me really realise how close to the end of the peak butterfly days and days I could take photos of them we were I wasn’t seeing butterflies every day at that stage in changeable weather. I enjoyed a lot of great late butterfly moments here with Speckled Wood this season. A fantastic natural moment, and I loved seeing Migrant Hawkers again at Lakeside that day and Common Darters flying over a flooded area stuck long in the mind.

I saw a few species of butterflies at Lakeside on Wednesday 7th October in some nice sunshine, Speckled Wood and Large White then a dark and orange one I couldn’t quite make out a nice reminder of summer that day. I also enjoyed seeing and photographing a bee nicely and Common Darter dragonflies at Lakeside that day and I had magical moments with more plume moths in the house this year with two seen on the roof and one photographed and another landed on my face, hand, laptop screen and glass which I had a little bit of juice left in so this was a great intimate moment. I got a brilliant Speckled Wood moment that Thursday lunch time as well seeing two together with one flying into the closed wing landed other and regularly opening its wings they both landed on leaves well at Lakeside’s northern path area I enjoyed taking a picture of one of these too as I really enjoyed a late Speckled Wood surge at the start of October. That Friday at Lakeside in grass by a lake by the lake I saw a Common Blue butterfly which was a surprise. Then I saw two dragonflies which I am seeing a lot of over Lakeside during those weeks Common Darters and Migrant Hawkers with pairs of both looking to mate which was really interesting making it memorable for a sunny day. I also enjoyed seeing some blueweed there and taking picture of it flowers I liked seeing in early June too. That Sunday at Pennington by the coast the marshes I liked seeing Large White and some sea aster photographing the latter. I saw a lot of nice and late flowers those weeks both at home and in the wild alongside some more autumnal perhaps bramble flower that I really enjoyed a lot at Lakeside as I really noticed this year like no other how late flowers last in years as a whole. Or it being my first year of deeply observing flowers I didn’t really know but others observed that this is a notable thing of 2020 so many flowers staying out later. On Thursday 15th October on a very hot and sunny day I got another fantastic Speckled Wood view almost walking into it focusing my eyes on a bush and then all of a sudden seeing it there in front of me. I noticed nice flowers and joined-together Common Darters that day too, I saw both of these things the next really sunny day too. That following Sunday night a plume moth in the house landed on my water bottle lid right beside me making for a great photo opportunity, it stayed on my untouched in that time bottle lid for an hour or more a really intimate wild moment. I really did see so many of these plume moths in the house this year which was fantastic. I saw all sorts of insects in the house and whilst working from home really took notice of lots of lovely little insects which was a key theme of my year. The plume was still around the next evening after I walked at a still quite green looking Lakeside that Monday and all through the sunny walk I was delighted to see Common Darter dragonflies still doing well in October. That day it really was teeming with them I did see so many. The highlight of the day was seeing a male and female together, they were mating I got a nice picture of this or just starting mating as mating dragonflies are usually in a heart shape from the two of their bodies together quite beautifully. These two clearly had their reproductive organs connected but they were flying about and landed briefly so it was perhaps before the heart shape was formed to complete the copulation. I had seen the Common Darters particularly and other dragonflies do this at Lakeside a lot of times this year those few weeks being joined together in such a strong dragonfly and damselfly year I’ve had generally and at Lakeside. This moment and that day a strong part of that this year. That Thursday on a very sunny day I enjoyed seeing another spider in the house which was lovely as well as enjoy lots of flowers at home and see a another broad-leaved clover flower at Lakeside. The next day I loved seeing another Migrant Hawker there on a sunny Friday lunch time.

The following Monday I enjoyed seeing a Common Darter at Lakeside again as it became a bit of a day of flowers with broad-leaved clover and daisy seen very well by me on the way out of Lakeside and I took pictures and I took pictures of some pink and red ones in the garden which I had looked forward to doing so that day a sunny one, an interesting small moth possibly a brown house one as I had seen before was in my room that day too. I enjoyed seeing a hawker dragonfly either migrant (most likely) or southern by the Lakeside entrance that Wednesday still hanging on nearly into November by that point. I saw lots of daisies and broad-leaved clovers around those weeks flower species really hanging on. It stood out getting into the winter seeing the clovers alongside other stars of my flower year really nicely seen a great reminder of summer sea aster and common toadflax the next day at Lymington in the Lymington-Keyhaven nature reserve at the bottom of the New Forest. In my bonus eleventh highlights post this year about my November and December I also wrote about topics covered in this blog.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Coffee dates and teacup rides

The Traveling Fika is here and I'm living the dream! Coffee, tea, pastries, and chilling out - living the ideal life. I've always wanted to see The Traveling Fika so imagine my joy when I heard that this year one of the stops isn't too far from the campsite.

There's a big traveling library, an assortment of coffee and tea stands where you learn about the food and drinks, a chill out tent, teacup rides, and fun games. The event will be here for a week before going off to their next stop so we'll have plenty of time to try everything out.

In the past few days I've been learning so much about tea and coffee and various pastries. Learning fun facts about each while enjoying them has been an experience and easily one of the biggest highlights of The Traveling Fika. Surrounding myself with book, coffee, and all things cozy and aesthetic - what more can I ask for?

There's something about coffee dates that brings people together, which is why I like hanging out at cafes. Daisy Jane and I have been going on little coffee outings, trying new stuff and scribbling in our notebooks. I've been trying to develop my art style after hitting a slump and so far these coffee dates have been helping out a lot. Meanwhile, Daisy Jane's hard at work making new products for her shop. It's fun, just the two of us hanging out and making art.

In an unexpected surprise, we ran into some old friends from home. They were only going to visit for a couple days to check out the Fika but since there's the camp, they might as well extend their vacation a bit. It's been forever since I've seen Neil as I haven't gotten a chance to talk to him or the others at Minnie and Emmaline's wedding.

As of a month ago, Neil and Bernard have tied the knot. They've been best friends for years, since Bernard's aunt was hired as a caretaker for Neil's sister Nettie. Hard to believe that Nettie's been living at home for about fifteen years now. Before that, she had been living in a home for mentally disabled people, a run down place that has long since shut down.

I was surprised to see Nettie tag along, even staying at the camp for two nights. She's come a long way since leaving the institution - I remember that she was barely able to speak or was even allowed outside the house. I'll admit that I was a bit scared of being around her, not fully understanding why someone not that much older than me will never grow up to be like everyone else. It wasn't easy for everyone to adjust to the change but in the end Ms. Song made the right call by bringing Nettie home.

Neil says that everything's been going well. Nettie's volunteering at a school for disabled kids in Lilac Villa and the kids really love her. Bee has been a great deal of help for Ms. Song as it's not easy being a parent and a caretaker so having someone care for Nettie is a huge weight off her shoulders. She and Bernard came to live with the Songs after Mr. Greene walked out and they've been a family since.

A while back when I was talking to my mom she mentioned that Mr. Greene had passed away. I didn't know him that well but he always came across as distant and strict. He was a good piano player though. Neil used to look up to him a lot, music being the main thing they bonded over. He was unable to adjust to living with Nettie, so he moved out. Neil had considered taking his offer to live with him but he couldn't see himself leaving his mom and Nettie.

For a few years they worked out an arrangement for Neil to visit his dad every other weekend. Later Nettie tagged along for a few hours and for the most part everything went all right. There was talk about whether or not his parents were going to reconcile - Neil was on the fence about it, not exactly sure how he felt about them getting back together. But all hopes of that went away when his dad lost his temper on Nettie over something trivial and then took it out on Neil when he came to her defense. After dropping off Neil and Nettie, he also handed over the divorce papers and that was the last time they ever saw him.

Interestingly, it was his death that gave Neil and Bernard the push to get married. Neil said that with his dad gone, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off everyone's shoulders. He and Nettie have come to accept that he was never coming back, though his departure hung over them for a long time. To his surprise, Nettie was handling the news remarkably well.

As we've learned over the years, Nettie is very perceptive. She's sensitive with a big heart, the way she sees the world never ceases to amaze me. Nettie is a lot more aware than we give her credit for, which can be a blessing and a curse. Neil and Bernard weren't sure how she would feel regarding what happened or even understand the concept of death, and yet she understood in her own way. As I've heard people say over the years, that sweet Nettie Song really is something.

Nettie's one of those people who really throw you in perspective. You like to think you don't hold any prejudices or preconceived notions towards a certain group of people, but the truth is, whether we like to admit it or not, we do. Growing up with someone like Nettie helped me understand that people like her are human beings. She's her own person, capable of her own opinions, dreams, and aspirations.

Now look at her, living out her best life. Nettie can't live independently but she can stay home alone for a couple hours as long as she has clear instructions and a set routine. She can also go out into town with friends and run simple errands.  I didn't get a chance to hang out with her at the wedding as she didn't stay too long but it was a nice surprise to see her there, talking with others and congratulating the happy couple. Daisy Jane and I had been meaning to visit her but on the day we decided to drop by, we had just missed her as she and Bee were at the school in Lilac Villa.

It's been nice running into Neil, Bernard, and Nettie. Bernard and Neil always wanted to go to The Traveling Fika while Nettie followed where they went. Since it's a pretty chill event we don't have to worry about Nettie getting overwhelmed or worn out. She's been enjoying the teacup rides, where you can sit back and relax to lo-fi beats or watch videos about fika. Sometimes Nettie would join me and Daisy Jane on a coffee date, making lovely collages with whatever she had on hand. She has this gift to turn any scrap of paper into an aesthetic piece of art, it's amazing to see what she comes up with!

Neil and Bernard are enjoying the married life, though not too much has changed. They're still living at home as they have no reason to move, at least for another couple of years. Bernard started grad school last fall so he's been super busy with his studies. He also volunteers at the school with Nettie once in a while. Meanwhile, Neil has been giving piano lessons at the community center, taking over from Elly after she retired last year. He says he's enjoying it, though he still feels a bit intimidated trying to fill in Elly's shoes.

Nettie stayed for a couple days and went back home with Bee this morning. She had a lot of fun at the campsite, exploring the scenery and chasing butterflies. Neil said it wasn't until a few years ago when Nettie was able to leave home for a couple days and be fine. I remember when Nettie would rarely leave the house - part of it due to stigma, another because up until then she had been isolated from the outside world. Nettie rarely talks about her time at the institution - in the few times she mentioned it, most of her memories are of the people telling her what she can't do, which upset her a lot as she became more aware that she was different.

Seeing the three of them having a good time together, it brings me such joy. Nettie led an impromptu arts and crafts session with a collage art challenge where you're given a blind bag with random bits and bobs - much like what she does at the school. It's fun seeing what everyone comes up with. Neil played some tunes on the piano while we sang along and he got inspired to write a couple songs. Bernard did some fishing and managed to catch a king salmon at the creek. At night we'd hang around the bonfire telling stories and enjoying the starry sky.

Today's been pretty chill - coffee dates, teacup rides, and camp activities. Neil and Bernard are enjoying an afternoon picnic near the mountains and plan to meet us at the Fika in a couple hours to watch a lecture on coffee, which looks super interesting. Then tomorrow we're gonna go for a hike in the forest trail and back to the Fika to drink more tea and coffee.

[altumvidetur]

Hotch/Reid Fic Recs

Previously: Haikyuu!! Fic Recs, DCMK (Kaishin) Fic Recs

So, I was thinking about the coronavirus pandemic and what I could do to help people out. I’m isolated because I’m at higher risk, so I can’t really offer to go out for my elderly neighbors or my family… but I thought I could try to help keep people entertained.

Because I don’t have an AO3 account right now, I’ve been compiling fic recs for my own amusement for a year or so. And I thought – maybe that’s the time to share these with everyone? So everyone will have plenty of things to read while they have to stay at home, or even to escape anxiety a little bit if you’re forced to go out.

Of course, these cater to my own tastes, so you may find stuff you don’t like around here. I never include works in progress. The Mature and Explicit works will be in italic. I ask you to READ THE WORK’S TAGS before continuing, so you won’t find anything that makes you uncomfortable.

When it comes to Criminal Minds, I only had one OTP, one that’s been carrying me through the first seven seasons and which will, hopefully, carry me towards season 11 (and what am I going to do once Hotch leaves the show? I have no idea). So, here are my Hotch/Reid fic recs:

A Kiss Is..., by bowie28

For a Renaissance man such as Dr. Reid, a kiss can mean a lot of things.

First Kiss, by Lenore

To solve the case of who's targeting gay couples, Hotch and Spencer need to go undercover. But first, they have to practice.

Making Whoopee, by kuriadalmatia

12 days was the longest Hotch had been away from Jack since Haley's death. He's not adjusting well.

P is for Pie, by kuriadalmatia

Spencer knows what Aaron is doing: offering up a piece of himself—a very private piece of his childhood that never talks about—so that Spencer has the opportunity to reciprocate.

Nothing In Between, by travelinthedark

Aaron doesn’t know who he’s supposed to be anymore.

5 Mandatory Events at the FBI Regional Training Seminar, by travelinthedark

“Hey guys!” Jeff’s voice is just as upbeat as it was when he was telling the entire conference room about the wonders of community stewardship and his volunteer work as a ‘Big Brother.’ It’s also just as loud, and Hotch wonders if the guy realizes he doesn’t have to shout at people who are less than five feet away from him. “Are you ready to come up and add your ideas to the aspirations board?”

Conversations in Transit, by travelinthedark

Three conversations about (or sort of about) the way that Hotch and Reid are together.

Your Shadow at Morning, by travelinthedark

Aaron's world is a mess, and it falls apart more every time he tries to fix it.

Q is for Queen Bee, by kuriadalmatia

The last thing Reid remembered as he was speaking gibberish to Kimura as they raced to the hospital. Losing the capacity for language was terrifying...

L is for Lipstick, by kuriadalmatia

Aaron finds a cache of lipstick-imprinted business cards tucked away in Spencer's desk. He doesn't react well.

Catatonic, by bowie28

Spencer Reid is a man of habit.

The apple and afterward, by Lenore

What if Reid hadn't managed to kick his Dilaudid addiction? What if he needed a job on the side in order to afford his habit?

Five Times Spencer Reid Kept His Hair, and One Time He Didn’t, by bowie28

Why Reid finally had his hair cut. 

Love Songs, by Gorgeousgreymatter

(Summary by me: Hotch pining for Reid, both of them getting together and being cute.)

The Tradition of Sprigs, by kuriadalmatia

Hotch holds the sprig of mistletoe by the stem, cocks an eyebrow, and waits for an explanation. Because, in the four months Spencer Reid has been on his team, Hotch knows that there’s going to be one. What he doesn't know is that it will become a tradition.

The Best for Last, by blythechild

This is a gift fic based on the prompt: "It's Hotch and Reid's first Xmas together and Hotch wants to get Reid a gift that he never received as a child - Jack suggests asking Reid’s parents about what he’d like."

House Call, by blythechild

Jack is ill and wants to be comforted by Reid instead of Hotch.

Not Included In The Brochure, by blythechild

[Crossover with Sherlock (BBC)] Sherlock was standing over the body… Sherlock finds himself in the middle of a B.A.U. investigation, much to his delight and John's frustration.

Something Less Ordinary, by blythechild

A year after Reid voluntarily leaves the F.B.I., Hotch discovers that Diana Reid is dead and he must find his former colleague and friend in hopes of setting a few things right.

we’re reeling through an endless fall, by bittereternity

lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life. Back then, Spencer had replied, "I love you too. I love you very much." This could be a love story someday. [spencer reid, aaron hotchner, reid/hotch, reid/maeve]

Five Dinners Series, by Daylyn

(Summary by me: Hotch and Reid’s getting together, plus some moments during the series.)

The Moment In-Between, by Daylyn

In the Criminal Minds novel, Killer Profile by Max Allan Collins, there’s a scene where Prentiss sends Reid to wake up a sleeping Hotch and Hotch enters the conference room a moment later looking rather mussed. This is what happened during that missing moment in-between.

The Secret Marriage, by blythechild

Hotch has a new ring, Reid has a new tattoo, and everyone is wondering about everyone else's secrets.

yesterday’s seven thousand years, by bittereternity

“What if I can never love a child?” “If it’s your child, Spencer, he will be the easiest person in the world to love.”

Reid thinks about the idea of a child in his life, and turns to Hotch for help.

the lies we weave are oh so intricate, by bittereternity

Maybe they were always supposed to fall apart, because there was nothing stopping them from being happy. In a world where everyone is Dominant or submissive, Aaron Hotchner meets Spencer Reid, who simply wants to be neither. In the process of getting to know him, he never expected to a. fall in love b. fall in love with his team member and c. fall in love with a man so infuriatingly unwilling to reciprocate.

Written for the Criminal Minds Big Bang 2013.

Vigil, by red_river

"Part of Hotch knew Reid was an FBI agent, and perfectly capable of taking the bus. But the other part couldn't imagine letting him - not after this case, of all cases." Post LDSK, Hotch gives Reid a ride home, and which leads to pizza, old TV, and helping him face a few of his demons. Episode tag, S1E6, "LDSK." Friendship or pre-slash.

Refuge, by red_river

"She’s my mom,” Spencer murmured, and Aaron couldn’t help thinking how young that word made him seem. “But sometimes it’s like there’s…almost none of that person left.” In the aftermath of the Fisher King, Hotch flies to Las Vegas to bring Reid home, and tries to make something new out of all their broken pieces. Episode tag to S2E1, "The Fisher King;" friendship or pre-slash.

Call me whatever, I just want to be yours, by surrenderdammit

“Let’s get dinner, just the two of us, next time,” Aaron comments, helping her into her coat because he is ridiculous like that, and he is apparently partial to the fond exasperation he gets in return, which is usually in the form of her huffing or rolling her eyes.

A love story told in parts, from the first time they met to the first time they fall into bed together.

Serendipity, by red_river

"You've been watching over him." In the aftermath of a difficult case, Hotch searches for a way to lift Reid's spirits, and someone notices. Episode tag to 2x13, "No Way Out."

I Hope You Kept the Receipt, by blythechild

[Crossover with Sherlock (BBC)] Hotch and Reid get trapped in an elevator with Sherlock Holmes. And then Sherlock does what he's best at: pissing people off.

Speechless, by blythechild

[Crossover with Sherlock (BBC)] Reid has an uninvited guest at the worst possible moment.

Desert Mirage, by merle_p

Long story short, there is a high probability that he is doing it for altogether selfish reasons, but when Reid looks at him with an expression of such sincere, helpless gratefulness, he cannot find it in himself to regret.

Twice Shy, by blythechild

Seven years ago, Hotch and Reid had a brief affair. Now, Hotch wants to try again, but can they make it work with less impediments and more baggage? (Spoilers through season 10)

Three Letter Agency, Four Letter Word, by merle_p

The NSA is interested in Spencer Reid. They are not the only one.

Late Nights ‘Verse, by EloquentDossier

Summary by me: Hotch pining for Reid, Reid probably pining for Hotch, a lot of UST and people being dense.

Time-Out ‘Verse, by EloquentDossier

Summary by me: Hotch and Reid’s cute shenanigans.

Chain Reaction, by EloquentDossier

"(Mon 12:20 pm) Which is why you text the stranger instead of talk to coworkers.

(Mon 12:20 pm) Yes. (Mon 12:28 pm) Is that weird?"

xxx

A dialogue-only AU in which Hotch texts what he thinks is Rossi's new number but is actually the slightly eccentric stranger whom Hotch knows only as "Spencer." What follows is something neither man could have ever quite expected.

Golden Letters ‘Verse, by EloquentDossier

Summary by me: Soulmates AU in which everyone gets a tattoo with a sentence that their soulmate will eventually say.

Bright, by EloquentDossier

"There were several things in Aaron Hotchner's life that had never made sense to him. He didn't understand why nearly everyone in his family (minus his son Jack) couldn't quite fathom why he felt drawn to the BAU. He didn't get how so many people in the world had such depraved mindsets. And he wasn't entirely sure why he still hadn't drug-tested his team's tech analyst, Penelope Garcia. (He was also confused about her relationship with Derek Morgan, but he wasn't going to touch that with a ten foot pole.)

But what baffled Hotch the most was how someone who was as intelligent as Spencer Reid could be so inherently oblivious."

xxx

Written for the prompt: I've seen a lot of oblivious!Hotch fic, but how about Reid being oblivious of his own feelings for Hotch? Hotch is aware, and reciprocates. Fluffy journey of realization maybe? Bonus for Garcia being helpful.

Affinity, by margarks

Right now just a couple of drabble about the way Spencer and Hotch see each other, but it seems like I might add on to these, so I created this series.

Psychosexual Developments, by dissolvedingirl

Hotch and Reid, between all the moments you see.

Limbo, by kehlee

There's a place in between kissing and dating; there's a place between heaven and hell. This is it.

Just When You Least Expect It, Just What You Least Expect, by blythechild

Hotch has been Reid's boss for ten years, and his friend for almost as long. He thinks he knows him pretty well, but a random event during a random case has the chance to change all of that. It's just a matter of whether Hotch can accept it or not.

In Two Hours (And Not a Minute Later), by dissolvedingirl

Reid finally decides to confront Hotch about those intense looks he's been giving Reid for years.

The Wall, by blythechild

Hotch can't decide what he finds more shocking: going out clubbing at 50 or seeing a phone number he knows scribbled on the bathroom wall...

You’re the Boss, by blythechild

Hotch finds himself in the unfamiliar position of relying on Reid for guidance in their kinda/sorta/not really relationship. or Why casual sex is never all that casual.

This One Is Not Like The Others, by blythechild

(Summary by me: Tentacle-Monster!Reid. It’s way better than it sounds.)

Beneath, by blythechild

Everyone is exactly who you think they are until something comes along to throw your perception off track. After ten years, Reid and Hotch discover this for themselves.

Breaking Point, by EloquentDossier

There was this thing about Aaron Hotchner's voice.

Reid couldn't quite pinpoint when it had started. Perhaps it had always been there, hovering just beneath the surface and waiting for him to recognize it for what it was. Or maybe it had simply been a recent, sudden development. For once the "when" wasn't as much of a concern as it typically would be. No; instead Reid was more interested in trying to discern just what he was going to do about the fact that Hotch had discovered it so quickly. Possibly even before he himself had.

xxx

In which Reid really should have just admitted he liked Hotch's voice when he realized it.

Birthday Woes, by EloquentDossier

It didn't bother him when the call came in. Really, it didn't. Or at least not initially.

xxx

In which the team gets called away on a case and forgets Hotch's birthday.

Of Cowboys and FBI Agents, by severity_softly

Aaron catches Spencer in the act.

In the Silence, by Brumeier

Posted to LJ Comment Fic for Kink prompt: Criminal Minds, Hotch/Reid, silence is a big kink for Hotch

Two Seconds, by blythechild

Time catches up with Aaron Hotchner when he realizes that the person he's always wanted - Spencer Reid - is actually beyond his reach.

Maybe Tomorrow, by orphan_account

The one where Aaron Hotchner wasn't in love with Spencer Reid, until suddenly he was.

Give and Take, by blythechild

Everyone has human moments and for some reason Reid is hiding his. Because Hotch is who he is, he decides he needs to figure out why.

Shepherd of the Damned, by Deejaymil

They're called to Alaska on a desperate last-ditch effort to find seven missing hikers. They don't even think twice about going. This is their job. They put themselves in danger every day to protect the people that need them. But never like this.

They number six. It begins with one.

It's not going to stop until they're all consumed.

See The Love There That’s Sleeping, by blythechild

Reid didn't know that when he leapt into a burning building his life would change forever. But love is sneaky that way.

December 1st: Mistletoe or Give Us a Hug, by NimueOfTheNorth

Spencer may say he is getting enough cuddles, but Derek knows better. A mistletoe makes a convenient option to test both arguments. Derek gets quite a bit more than he bargained for.

Come Undone, by EloquentDossier

When Spencer Reid forgot to take his suppressants two mornings in a row, it really shouldn't have been a big deal. He had them in his bag at the hotel, and as long as he took one that evening, he'd be fine. What he couldn't have prepared for, however, was the lab the latest victim worked at going into an at least twenty-four-hour-lockdown while he was in it.

When Aaron Hotchner was asked to aid his subordinate through what would otherwise be an agonizing heat, he'd had several reservations, one of which had been the consent issue: Omegas couldn't legally consent to sex during a heat unless it was twenty-four hours in advance. With every concern rebutted logically (because of course the Bureau had an Agent Consent form in case of emergencies), he finally agreed.

Of all the possible repercussions, however, neither man expected the one they received.

xxx

Or that one time no one expected the Alpha to accidentally bond to the Omega while the Omega remained unaffected.

Fireproof, by blythechild

[Crossover with Supernatural] Hotch and Reid's friendship ends suddenly when Hotch abruptly quits the Bureau and disappears. But Reid won't let him get away with it.

Halcyon Mine, by Deejaymil

What if a lonely boy meets a friend in a lonely quarry... and what if he loses him without warning?

unmoored, by 28ghosts

“When it’s kids who end up our killers, you know,” Reid says, unprompted, pulling his coat close against his body, “I always end up feeling...bad, you know? I feel bad. I know I have no cause to, not really. I’m not one of them.”

Hotch stops for a second, walking down the airfield. The cold Virginia air whips around him as harsh as judgement. He’s surprised to see Reid, ahead of him, slow to a stop, head tilted back towards the gray sky.

“Let’s get a drink sometime,” Hotch says, before he can overthink it. “If you’d like.”

Indispensable, by Deejaymil

Dave's a damn good guardian angel, one of the best. And being one of the best means he gets the worst jobs: the important, the clumsy, the reckless, the difficult-to-keep-alive. The indispensables. But he's never before quite had anyone like Spencer Reid.

Within the first two seconds of meeting his new charge, the kid gets hit by a car; it really only goes downhill from there. His only consolation is that Emily is having just as much trouble with her new charge, Aaron Hotchner.

If only they could somehow combine their assignments...

Acutely Us, by Deejaymil

This is the part where a story is told. There are ferrets, mistakes, birthdays, apologies, and dances. There is Spencer and Aaron and Jack and the life they make together.

And it all begins with a goat.

Rise Again, by blythechild

Aaron Hotchner has been on the run for five years, but that all comes to an end on a beach in Australia.

Religiously Unaffiliated, by ghoultown

(Summary by me: Hotch/Reid with Reid deliberating about his atheism.)

Don’t Make Me Talk You Down, by ghoultown

The night was heavy because it was humid on top of the bridge in between highway I-90 and I-80, the semi-trucks that passed messing with his balance, almost toppling him over if it hadn't been for his grip on the railing.

Rain, by orphan_account

He almost died today, and Hotch is determined to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Against All Odds, by ghoultown

Spencer is upset because the way he and Hotch met and started dating wasn't as special as Hotch and Haley's story. Hotch begs to differ.

Under My Protection, by ghoultown

Hotch and Reid never met. Reid is in danger. The government puts Hotch in charge of Reid's safety.

Empty Places, by Mystical_Magician

All wishes have consequences, and when Spencer makes one to save lives, he knows and accepts the price. The rest of his team does not. What the mind forgets, the heart remembers, and in Foyet's wake they all know that something is missing. Aaron Hotchner refuses to ignore the aching, empty spaces.

Genuine Need, by NimueOfTheNorth

It would have been nothing more than Aaron buying Spencer a cup of coffee. Good thing Garcia is there to pull the right strings or those two would be lost.

Swan Song, by Deejaymil

At some point they’d become caught in each other’s orbits, lost in a sea of almosts. Neither of them realized that their time was finite, not until their world turned to flames and threatened to tear everything apart.

For Spencer Reid the grief was too big, too impossible to believe that four BAU members and a treasured friend had fallen in an instant. When faced with the opportunity to get back what he’d lost, he has to decide if it’s fate or madness that beckons him.

For Aaron Hotchner, madness would almost be welcome. At least then the world would become logical again, turning the impossibility of what had happened to them into something tangible. But even madness doesn’t change the fact that they’re trapped.

They’re not even sure if anyone is still looking for them.

i hope you’re waiting at the end, by soloecal

Sometimes, Spencer thinks too much. Post Season 12.

-

A month later, on a singularly insignificant night, Spencer sits Hotch down after dinner, and presses a ring into the palm of his hand. “This isn’t working,” Spencer says. “I think we should break up.”

Expiration Date, by blythechild

He goes to Vegas to meet a friend but ends up married. The time-honored way to make these kinds of mistakes is to do it while incapacitated, but Hotch waits and does it sober instead. An interesting choice...

Conclusive Proof That You Have a Terrible Boyfriend, by blythechild

Hotch is proving he's an awful boyfriend. Via text messaging.

He’s A Bad Boyfriend Too, by blythechild

Aaron and Spencer have a relationship issue that Spencer thinks is best solved via drunk texting. This is a sequel to Conclusive Proof That You Have A Terrible Boyfriend.

Apodyopsis, by NimueOfTheNorth

If he is forced to listen to boring lectures for three days, Spencer really can't be held accountable for his imagination going wild, now can he. Reality might proof even better.

(i know you’ve tried) but something stops you every time, by wintrs

Prentiss can't help but overhear Hotch and Reid's conversation on the jet.

Faces, by blythechild

Every three days, a man wakes up in a different body. There's no controlling it and no way to prepare for it. All he can do is make the best of his new face with the time he has.

First, by orphan_account

The first time Aaron tells Spencer he loves him is an accident.

L’Homme Mystere, by orphan_account

Even if he’d been waiting for this in a state of barely contained arousal since early this morning, when Aaron had bumped shoulders with him at the coffee pot in the breakroom and whispered in his ear about how he had a surprise for him later that night... well.

Spencer wasn’t that kind of guy.

How to Get a Hard Pass, by Deejaymil

There's an FBI trainee named Spencer Reid in the class Hotch is teaching, and that'd all be just fine if Hotch wasn't completely distracted by wanting to be in Spencer Reid instead. But there’s no way he’s going to give his student an inch - or eight - until he’s good and ready to do so on his own terms.

Spencer Reid has other plans.

The Longest Road, by Deejaymil

They’re taking the longest road to get there, but, in the end, it doesn’t really matter. What they are to each other has always been inevitable.

A Horse Named Rabbit, by Deejaymil

Aaron Hotchner is riding West on a borrowed horse, hiding the man he used to be behind a shortened name and a beard he only sometimes thinks of shaving. His desire to keep on running until he hits the setting set is waylaid by an unexpected meeting with a man on a mule who says he's looking for his lost luck.

When they part, Hotch realises that's a mistake. There's something about Spencer Reid that reminds him that he's more than just a man on a horse going nowhere—that he was once the kind of person who could help a stranger find what he's looking for. There's just one problem with that.

When Spencer had said he was looking for his luck, he’d never mentioned that he planned to steal it.

for mortals: there is a share, by ifnot_winter

Reid could find no precedent in his experience for so gentle a seduction. Or so effective.

+

An exploration of moments and intimacy through three consecutive fragments of text paired with fragments of Sappho's lyric poetry.

the safety of objects, by ifnot_winter

Fumbling his glasses right off the edge of the table, he managed not to step on them en route to snatching up the phone as the third buzz gave way to ringing. Bending to retrieve his glasses, he caught his shoulder on the corner of the nightstand and managed to press the answer button, cutting off the shrill electronic wail mid-ring. "Damn--Hello?" Glasses shoved firmly into place, he watched the cufflink skitter in concentric, diminishing circles across the scuffed polish of the hardwood floor and come to a leisurely halt a few feet away.

"Reid." Hotch.

+

Somehow the fragments of Sappho struck me as a great mental framework for CM fics. This was the first completed result, mostly an attempt at exploring Reid and flexing rusty writing muscles.

Pretty, by blythechild

Hotch thinks Reid is pretty and then is forced to explain it.

Good Enough, by blythechild

Aaron has plenty of kinks, but he can't figure out Spencer's.