#but aLSO bc at some point when i took my glasses off for pictures they got bent up??

[cel-aerion]

Day Two of Colossalcon 2023, Addendum 2

...which is technically Day Three, but anyways they had a Build-a-Bear in the hotel where I was staying, and that Build-a-Bear had exclusive plushies of the hotel’s mascot characters, which includes wolves, but they closed before I got there on the day I wore the Roxy costume, so, yes, the next morning I did put the full costume on, including makeup, solely for the purpose of going and getting a plush wolf while dressed as a wolf.

I have zero regrets.

[menlove]

[image id: an ask from @harbingerofskulls that reads: "im gonna b real i only knew the jerking off i would love to hear you elaborate more if you want to go on the whole situation" /end id]

answering here so i can save as a draft without risking the ask disappearing bc tumblr's been doing that lately but

oh god </3 for everyone else- it's talking about this post. sooo i'm gonna go through each one bc i've been feeling insane for several weeks. i'll do my best to cite my sources lmao

i don't know (johnny johnny)

this is referring to this unreleased VERY early beatles track from 1960. the audio quality is absolute shit & as such unfortunately people love to put words to it that don't make much sense in either direction (i.e a lot of mclennon fans want to hear "you're in love with me" and a lot of people that hate mclennon will just make up the weirdest lyrics that make 0 sense so it's Not Gay). some of the lyrics that ARE clear make it obvious this song is about the two of them running away together- at one point i'm fairly certain paul says "how am i gonna tell my father that we're leaving town?" probably referring to them leaving to hamburg. which would be fine but some of the other lyrics areeeee..... very..... Hm. like multiple times paul refers to john as "my boy" and there's bits of them talking about not knowing what to tell their friends & wanting to just run off together alone. if i were the other members of the band having to record this i would have killed them with hammers <3 also the entire end is just paul going "oh johnny" like 1 million times. okay. sure. also since the lyrics ARE so garbled i mean i guess people could be right about it saying "how am i gonna tell my father you're in love with me" but i just don't hear it. still, a very gay song about running off together and getting away from everything and everyone, complete with moaning the other's name </3

2. paris

this one is a huge part of McLennon Fandom Lore lmao but for good reason. not citing sources on all this bc it's one of those that's just Fact & can be found in like any beatles biography or thebeatlesbible.com (my savior) but. for john's 21st birthday, he got 100 pounds from a rich relative. instead of taking his girlfriend or any of his other friends, he decided to use the money to take paul to spain. but they stopped in paris on the way and just decided to stay there. which i mean like. taking your best friend over your girlfriend to the city of love is a little weird but it's not THAT weird. it's everything else that makes people want to chew glass about it. including some of the other things on this list. like this audio of john just goofing around singing about paris and paul, with such hits as "my cheri, my pau pau my pau paul." which is :| okay best friend. and paul has this picture hung up in his house that he took of john sleeping in paris. okay. sure. why not. (although ig there's some doubt about if the photo is from paris? either way it's a picture paul took and has framed in his house which is incriminating enough my man). also NOT in the original post but may pang, a woman john had a brief affair with in the 70s, wrote a book called loving john. in it, there's this quote:

After a late lunch, Linda launched into a long paean to the joys of living in England. When she was finished, she turned to John and said, “Don’t you miss England?”

“Frankly,” John replied, “I miss Paris.”

okay! also in an interview once he said:

The thing was all the kissing and the holding that was going on in Paris. And it was so romantic, just to be there and see them, even though I was twenty-one and sort of not romantic. But I really loved it, the way the people would just stand under a tree kissing; and they weren’t mauling at each other, they were just kissing.

(interview with david scheff for playboy in september 1980)

3. if i fell

this one i already made an insane post on that started my spiral into posting about the beatles publicly </3 but, essentially, the song "if i fell" by john is..... well it's most likely about paul. he said it wasn't about his wife but that it was auto-biographical and he never really had any public affairs that weren't flings, certainly not a lover. but most damning is he wrote the complete lyrics for the first time on a valentine's day card addressed "to paul with love" with some hearts and arrows pointing to where the lyrics were written. absolutely insane. made me insane.

4. oh! darling

rawest paul song of all time if i do say so myself lmao. but it's just.... Highly Suspicious, that's what it is. a Lot of beatles fans/historians will admit this song is most likely about john but they won't admit that it's fucking romantic if it is. like.

like that is so blatantly romantic idk what to say other than that. also, in the official recording on abbey road, there's Several points where paul says "darling" that sound more like he's saying "johnny" which is what he called him. people brush it off by saying it's his accent, but there's a very clear difference between when he's saying "darling" and when he's saying "johnny". i mean the Lore behind this is that it was written right when things were splitting up between them (& the rest of the band) so it makes sense and it's why most people are willing to accept it's about john. it's just insane to me that they'll accept it's about john without considering the implications of that.

5. the real life demo

this one made me want to light myself on fire i won't lie to you. but here it is! john had a song called "real love" and this is a very early demo of it. but instead of the lyrics that came to actually be in the song (which are thought to be about yoko but let's not get into the fact that it was on a tape labeled "for paul" but whatever), it includes john fucking crying as he sings saying:

"was i just dreaming or was it only yesterday? i used to hold you in my arms. and now a baby and another on the way... la la la la farm..."

which can quite literally be about no one else but paul, as this demo was recorded when he'd just had two children with his wife linda and linda was pregnant with their third child. they'd moved to a farm in scotland. hearing this audio clip did genuinely make me want to lie down in the dirt for a week. also "i used to hold you in my arms" just... yeah. god. when people think it was unrequited idk what to say, really.

6. If Paul Were A Woman-

shoving these two together but. in april of 85, paul said in an interview about john and yoko's relationship:

"I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, 'Who’s this?' You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and…"

okay bestie <3 and what would make your relationship different if you were a woman? interesting! and yoko had something similar to say. in this audio, she says:

"I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat – because there’s something definitely very strong between John and Paul."

just reminds me of being a kid and telling my best friends "if i were a boy i'd date you" lol. incredible. does anyone here know about bisexuality.

7. stuart!

not much to say here except that john had a best friend, stu sutcliffe, who died young & before that had been the bassist in the band. paul fucking hated him sooo much oh he SEETHED. a lot has been written on that relationship but it was.... very interesting to say the least. it could have just been about the band, or just jealousy over john's friendship, but take that with a lot of john biographers suspecting john had feelings/even a sexual relationship with stuart and it paints a very Interesting picture to say the least

8. john's bisexuality

here's a compilation of quotes about it, but john was more than likely bisexual. which has nothing to do w paul, really, but more to do against people that like to claim they were both Heterosexual Men. although an interesting quote in this compilation is him saying he's "had paul" lmfao

9. paul's post-beatles work

there's just.... there is so so so much here i don't even know where to begin. @ringompreg has a good compilation of paul songs here. a lot of them do take a bit of Lore but like..... it comes down to the fact that both him and john have/had admitted many times to using their lyrics during The Breakup Years to talk to/reference each other and sooooo many of these lyrics are insanely blatant. the two i mentioned were tug of war and let me roll it, both of which are acknowledged to be about john by most people WITH NO ONE BOTHERING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE IMPLICATIONS OF THAT which..... tug of war has this:

we could stand on top of the mountain with our flag unfurled? dancing to a beat played on a different drum? this is what gaylors think gaylor conspiracy is but paul mccartney is really out here saying this shit.

and let me roll it is so fucking blatantly romantic but every reviewer is like haha! what a cool song that's "making fun" of john and clearly in his style! like are straight people stupid genuinely. anyway:

bonus to that but about JOHN'S solo work :)))))) he wrote a song called "watching the wheels" and when you consider he very much responded to MANY of paul's solo stuff it's :)

which as a response to let me roll it would just be... so devestating but it may be a stretch idk if i'm onto anything there it's just worth Mentioning

and there's a lot of others, a lot of them in that post up there. like far too many where paul mentions falling in love with a friend like Alright.

10. paul's first lsd trip with john/"i know" "i know"

this one is less blatantly romantic but it is just insane. here's an article. and a quote from george martin about it. the first time paul tripped on acid w john was bc john accidentally took some and he took him home & then took acid w him bc he didn't want john to be alone on the trip :( but, notably:

"And we looked into each other’s eyes, the eye contact thing we used to do, which is fairly mind-boggling. You dissolve into each other. But that’s what we did, round about that time, that’s what we did a lot," the singer recalled, "And it was amazing. You’re looking into each other’s eyes and you would want to look away, but you wouldn’t, and you could see yourself in the other person. It was a very freaky experience and I was totally blown away."

he also apparently saw john as the, and i quote, "emperor of eternity" during this trip??????? okay

SOMEWHERE i can't find it rn and i'm getting lazy but somewhere they (i think paul?) talk about the fact that they used to just stare into each other's eyes and then say "i know" "i know" which. considering john's song "i know (i know)" makes me crazy

11. in my life/i will

these are really just some devastating songs with lyrics that make you really raise your eyebrows. for in my life, written by john, it's just an incredibly romantic & sweet song that is again, not about his wife. given that the lennon estate is still out here posting pictures of paul to those lyrics i have to say it's a liiiiittle suspicious. and i will is...... it's one that paul insists is not about his girlfriend at the time, jane asher. and when you look at the lyrics vs how him and john met.... like. the song goes:

and the story of how they met was that paul saw john repeatedly before they ever met, when he didn't know who john was other than that he thought he looked cool & admired his sideburns (lmfao). and when they did finally meet, it was when john was singing at a garden fete (party) and paul was in the crowd just Mesmerized. so. well. you can see.... you can see how fitting that is. makes me crazy makes me want to chew glass actually

12. "we were each other's intimates" and other insane quotes

"we were each other's intimates" is a paul quote about john which is just insane but that's not even the tip of the iceberg. here's a ton of quote compilations.

13. "literally everything else"/honorable mentions

some honorable mentions go out to: john going on stage w elton john & playing i saw her standing there and introducing it as "a song by an estranged fiance of mine" okay! the "just like starting over" demos. okay! which isn't even to MENTION the fact that paul locked himself away in the studio listening to "just like starting over" on repeat for DAYS after john died like???? john saying repeatedly that he considered paul & yoko to be his two major partners in life including in an interview the literal day he died. a whole ass rpf movie where they kiss & talk like they're ex-lovers and dance in central park (two of us) made by the same dude that made the let it be movie like. he knew them personally? he worked with them closely? and the only thing paul had to say about it was just essentially that it was what he wished would've happened like???????? i can't find a super reliable source for this so take it w a grain of salt, but apparently paul referred to mclennon fanfiction as "beautiful stories" and doesn't mind them being written. paul also had a cat that had kittens & he named two of the kittens pyramus and thisbe after fictional lovers he and john played and he gave pyramus (the character paul played) to john :|

and literally so much else like all of this and it's not even all of it. it's not even close to all of it. i didn't even get to talk about the way in "get back" the documentary, paul started talking about john leaving the band for yoko and how john would choose her over them and then he got teary eyed, started choke laughing, and then started singing "build me up buttercup" before looking at the cameras and stopping. what the FUCK was that about! IT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE SONG "TWO OF US" THAT'S SO OBVIOUSLY ABOUT JOHN THAT IT HURTS. it's. it's not even scratching the surface. they were just genuinely insane about each other.

[gae-bug]

A slight hyper fixation is forming on the movie coco so here are some things I jotted down while rewatching it last night.

-We first see Dante next to a shop that sells a bunch of alebrijes

-miguel commenting on how cool de la curz’s guitar is And how his fav song is remember me little does he know that that's hectors guitar and the song he wrote for coco, also he knew they were connected in some way

-they keep up with the dimple only on one side thingy

-the talent of this kid for being able to make a functioning guitar from scraps lying around is fucking amazing, even if his shine for de la curz is a stong fire hazzard-

-learnt by just watching and hearing without actually being taught!!!?!?!?! Bro is insanely good

-"I'm gonna play even if it kills me!" The universe took that a Lil to literally lol

-oh Dante, he shall always be my favorite animal character in a movie

-the collective gasp

-at least Miguel's dad showed some sing of 'okay this is a little to far’ when she went to smash the gitaur

-the way he folds the picture the opposite way, so instead of Hector being the one left out its Imelda

-just casually stealing from the dead, smart move tho with the fire work.

-I like that the petals start to flicker

-how did people realize it was missing so fast bro

-"oh hey Miguel.….😨😨😨😨”

-the city in the land of the dead is so pretty but would also be terrifying as someone who is afraid of heights.

-Hector has no eyebrows, he does got some sick move tho

-I love that everybody's afraid of imelda lol

-imaging still having to work a service job in the after life-

-again Dante is my favorite

-Hector has a broken rib

-I also love Hector's confusion, he's like tf u mean that asshole has KIDSS!!!?!?!!?!??!

-Hector’s guitar has a golden tooth just like him!

-Dante being the best count like 15 lol

-would all these dancer s also get in legal trouble for faking unibrows or do they get a pass bc it was a celebrities idea?

-coresction, Hector had SEVERAL broken ribs.

-"what do you know" alot buddy, A LOT.

-bro took his femur, and DIDNT RETURN IT-

-okay, ik I said Hector had no eyebrows and that is true but basically nobody else really does either but it's more noticeable to me on Hector because of him taking off the fake eyebrows.

-the fucking detail on Miguels face, you can see his skin through the face paint as if it was real.

-the foreshadowing from looking at the shot glasses, one dunk, one still full.

-the nuns are also playing remember me before they even said that everybody is playing it

-one of his arm and one of his leg bones are also being held together by what I think is gauze? Idk it's blue it might be ribbon.

-I love hectors excitement when migeul stars playing poco loca, especially considering that it was most likely a song HE wrote about Imelda

-he called Miguel's musical fantasy stupid bc his got him killed.

-skeleton horses have been spotted, plus 10 points(I say as if I'm keeping a point counter lmao)

-him laughing and genuinely having fun with people who actually enjoyed his music

-he looks better as a skeleton low key- (de la cruz)

- yk there's a thing called stairs Miguel…

-the shock on del la curz’s face bc he knows he DID NOT have children, but he sees this as an opportunity to get more famous so he runs with it

- notice how he doesn't mention him leaving his family bc he didn't leave a family

-can't believe this dude has pools in the shape of the gitaur that he murdered his best friend for.

-he murdered his best friend, stole his guitar, stole his songs AND profited off his death by putting in a move and making himself seem like the victim in that situation.

-all Hector cares about is seeing his daughter one last time

-takes his guitar before Hector even hits the ground.

-when Imelda says I give you my blessing the petal lights up but when de la curz says it the petals stays normal

-as soon as de la curz is meant to be seen as the bad guy you see him in green and purple lighting, colors Disney like to use for villains.

-even though he is fading hectors first priority was comforting miguel

-THE DETAIL ON EVEN THE TINIEST OF THINGS BRO

-seeing Hector with skin is weird to me for some reason, maybe it's just because I'm so used to seeing him without it.

-Dante very well has over a hundred points for being the best at this point

-hector holding his hat like a sad wet cat.

-Imelda has earings but no ears-

-"she’s talking about me! I'm the love of your life!?" One of my favorite moments lol

-bro was stupid enough to keep the photo in his pocket.

-"I don't know what I said" "that's what I heard 🤭😏"

-'that's interesting yk why,’ 'why?' 'Because- *runs away*' seriously tho the run he does lmao

-this entire family got moves bro, and are also very good at avoiding the cops.

-I hate this fucking asshole

-YES! PUT HIM ON BLAST!!!!!!

-dont you fucking call him 'old freond' you fucking bitch

-yes boo him off the stage! Throw your tomatoes!!!!

-bell: 2 Ernesto: 0

-you can start to see Miguel's skull through his skin

-her earrings are just pierced through her cheekbones-

-he follows the petals home

-"not all of us" STOPPPPP.

-I'm glad they didn't try to make it seem like he was singing perfectly and instead had it so you can hear the tears in his voice

-it's dirty gauze and duct tape that's holding his bones together btw

- it's been a year and bro has not gotten better clothes.

Edit: ok hector actually did get some slightly better clothes I think but like they are very similar to his old clothes and seem a lot worse compared to the rest of his family’s

[eyeslikewatercoolers]

28 - German christmas market - Crygi

only if you’re into that idea ofc, no pressure!

Ooooh i love reading Crygi, so let's give writing a shot! (and a Jasya mention bc well, I’m me) Also, I've never been to a German Christmas market before, so a lot of this comes from talking to friends and internet research.

"What are we doing in this neighborhood?" Gigi asked as she looked out the passenger side window. The street was lined with different decorations than where she and Crystal lived.

"I told you, you'll see what it is soon," Crystal said as she turned left at the stoplight.

Gigi tried to look closer at the pedestrians walking along the lit sidewalk, but none looked like they were giving her any clues about this surprise.

She thought she and her girlfriend would just go out to a nice dinner and then watch The Polar Express at home in their pajamas, but now she had no clue where Crystal was taking her.

"Here we are," Crystal said as she pulled into a line of cars that led into a paid parking lot. As she waited for the cars to pull forward, she fumbled in the dark car to look for her wallet.

Eventually, as Crystal paid the fee and they were allowed in, Gigi recognized they were at a park on the other side of the city. She watched some families and couples that were walking to the main entrance.

"I still have no idea why you brought me here," Gigi said as she got out of the car. She rebuttoned her crisp, white faux fur coat as the chilly air hit her.

"You don't see those lights?" Crystal pointed out as she reached into the backseat to get two pairs of gloves, passing one pair to the other.

As she pulled on the baby pink pair of gloves, Gigi looked in the direction the strangers were walking toward. In the short distance, there was a tunnel entrance made of small lights to the park.

"Are we looking at Christmas lights?" Gigi guessed as she and Crystal joined hands.

"Kinda?" Crystal said as they entered the mesmerizing light entrance. The lights were all bright white, and some even made patterns of detailed snowflakes along the sides.

As the couple reached the main section of the park, the walkways were surrounded by different stalls selling food and trinkets. The smell of sweet roasted nuts and balsam welcomed them as they joined the market crowd.

After window shopping and looking through the main row of stalls, the couple sipped Belgian hot chocolate as they sat close to the playground.

“How did you find this place?” Gigi asked as she warmed her hands on the hot paper cup.

Crystal took a long sip before speaking, “Daya told me about it when she and Jasmine came here last week. Jasmine’s uncle is one of the pierogi vendors and she said the market was worth the drive.”

“She was right, this place was worth the drive out here.” Gigi smiled before taking another sip.

“I’m surprised you haven’t even taken any pictures yet.” Crystal pointed out. Which was surprising to Gigi too, since she was the type who always wanted to capture the moment.

“Maybe later, but I don’t think my phone camera can do all the lights any justice.”

As the couple finished their drinks and continued shopping, the young families of the market slowly left. The night was growing older, and some stalls were starting to close for the night.

“I don’t think my bag can hold anything else,” Gigi said as they made their last round of the stalls. Her canvas tote bag barely holding onto her shoulder.

Crystal led her to the next row of stalls, missing the exit they were heading towards. “We just need to pick up one last thing.”

“What’s that?” Gigi asked as they stepped in front of a booth with displayed ornaments. Some wooden, some ceramic, and a few glass.

Crystal gave the booth attendant her name, and they dug through a box under the table. The person pulled out a small gift bag with tissue paper peeking out. She thanked the attendant before leading Gigi off to the side, away from the crowd.

“Open it.” She said as she passed the bag to Gigi. As she carefully peeled back the tissue paper, she found a ceramic ornament of three leaves of green ivy placed in a triangle. In cursive red writing, the top leaves said Crystal and Gigi, respectively, and the bottom had the current year.

“It’s beautiful, I love it.” Gigi smiled as she held the ornament by the red ribbon. “I thought we weren’t much of a traditions type of couple?” She asked with a playful smile.

“It wouldn’t hurt to have a couple of annual things to look forward to,” Crystal said as she gave a quick peck to Gigi’s cheek.

Gigi couldn’t wait to show her friends and close family the magic of this Christmas market. But for this year, it was just meant for them.

[deoxygenated]

dream was long and convoluted but the main thing i remembered was defending a warehouse from enemies that wouldn't notice me but in turn i couldn't attack them until i used my cellphone to take a picture of them

a lot of it was like straight up bludgeoning rats after taking a photo and you had to be quick bc as soon as the snap loaded on your screen they would come at you instantly

there were also 'flies' which were invisible except for their noise but you could see them as data circles through your camera. you'd have to use your phone to see them and when you took a photo you had to do a word puzzle to kill them before they attacked

so getting a 'fly' and anything else in the photo was stupid hard to deal with.

at some point we also had to defend against cops bc we had like bikers they wanted to arrest

and especially this guy who knew how to operate the glass bottle making machines that were vitally important in this dream apocalypse for some reason

shout out to my sibling cy though who defended him when asked so i didnt have to worry about the mechanic while fighting off rats and cops

[sometimesoliloquy]

The Handmaid’s Tale 5x04 “Dear Offred”👀

Dragged my heels typing this one up...😬

Last episode ended with “NEVER TOUCH MY DAUGHTER AGAIN” (to crazy lady, re Hannah) and this one started with “DO NOT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER” (to crazy lady, re Holly Nichole). June being ferocious protective mama bear of both her babies❤️. This scene also reminded me of the flashback where a woman tried to steal baby Hannah in the hospital, except much more insidious with the Gilead vitriol. And while then June was frozen, post Gilead June immediately and ferociously defends. I really don’t think this woman has any idea who she’s dealing with...

“Was...was she ok? (nervous laugh)” 😂 Ok this is NOT the therapy June needs. This woman is terrified of June and it’s kind of hilarious but also not funny bc she is so clearly not equipped, and wtf is Luke doing there to give disappointed sighs and talk about her with the therapist in the third person like she’s not there? “How do we know she…uh, you…won’t get physical again?” I half expected the therapist to reply “well a rolled up newspaper often works”. 🙄

Poor Tuello looks so defeated (again!) when his girlfriend dumps him (again!), this time for “God”. Sorry, Mark, guess you can take the Serena out of the Gilead, but you can’t take the Gilead out of Serena!

At this point all I wrote in my notes was “SO DISTURBING” so honestly I have to replay to look it up... oh ok I think it had to do with the Gilead colors and insignia going up in her new office, just like it’s creeping into Canada... (could have been a lot of things in this episode, though, honestly).

At first I kind of thought maybe Luke and June were being too hard on Mark and their expectations were too high, but then I remembered that he definitely didn’t have to let Serena bat her pretty eyelashes and flounce off to Gilead to orchestrate the live funeral event of the year, which gave her the means for more reach and power...DAMNIT, Mark! June did warn you, and so did I. You are a disappointment. I told you not to let me down!🙄😒

So, once again Tuello doesn’t get it, and Luke doesn’t get it. June is the only one who understands how dangerous Serena is, her reach and ability to spread the poison of Gilead into Canada and the free world (driver’s license or not)… June is like, once again, I will take care of this myself (I knew that gun wouldn’t stay buried long!).

I just noticed June’s gold locket, bet you anything there’s a little picture of Hannah in there.🥺

I am loving this I-don’t-give-a-shit-anymore-cus-I-almost-died-and-I’m-in-pain-and-fuck-this-shit Janine... she reminds me of “welcome to the fucking looney bin” Janine before Aunt Lydia took her eye and broke her. And now she is maybe going to be the one to finally teach Lydia some goddamn compassion and humanity. I’m fucking glad she’s not letting Lydia off the hook for her bullshit this time. She’s like, I beat death, again, I’m not afraid of you, bitch!!😆

Fucking ECRU.💀 Serena’s real name is Karen.

June finally says it: “He doesn’t know what he’s doing and he seems to forget none of it worked the first time”. They’ve all seen this before, the slow creep of Gilead that people didn’t take seriously enough until it was too late. They played by the rules then, too. June doesn’t play by the rules anymore. Playing by the rules got her family torn apart and her stuck in Gilead, and Gilead taught her not to play by the rules.

Even if Moira and Luke do not seem to be alarmed enough by the threat of history repeating itself, they are right in a sense: this isn’t the same situation as with Fred, and June can’t just shoot Serena in her glass Gilead tower without going to prison (or extradited back to Gilead for execution?? not totally certain how the new territory works, but it’s not no-man’s-land) and losing Nichole. Losing her other daughter. The “it’s not worth losing your family over” really made me sad, though, since TESTAMENTS SPOILERS: we know that June is ultimately going to lose her family anyway, both her daughters, at least for many years until they’re eventually reunited.

I am happy the Moira/June dynamic seems more comfortable and copacetic. Even if it’s mostly because June is trying to adhere to Moira’s playbook: the (useless) therapy, trying to curb her anger, not tearing anyone else apart with her bare hands (and teeth) lately. I do also think Moira gained some different perspective and understanding from their trip to the Mayday women, though.

Not news but I continue to be impressed by the constant ways Serena finds to be a flaming hypocrite. Like she can now write and wears her little power pant suits. I love how she only wears the Gilead dress now as basically a costume, to use as a tool for her advantage as needed--we first saw that when she switched back from civilian clothes to the teal for her reemergence as “Gilead power couple” for Fred’s trial, then for her field trip home and now for her weird pregnancy Gilead glamour shots.🤰🏼💁🏼‍♀️

LOL wow I realized why Ezra looks so familiar to me and it’s because he played “Nostradamus” on Reign (the wildly historically inaccurate but gorgeously costumed CW period drama from years back).

“My wife is going to kill you and I’m going to let her”... I wrote my more in depth thoughts on this the other day so won’t go into it here but yeah, I found the specifically possessive language very striking in this scene.

The Serena mentioning Nick thing was the one thing I was looking forward to this episode but honestly I was underwhelmed. Maybe it’s because I actually felt bad for Luke this whole scene, or because I wanted her to mention more specifics for certain viewers who seem to need reminding. Anyway. I know that Serena was obviously just saying it to be a c*unt and verbally kick Luke in the balls, but the thing is I couldn’t help thinking that, despite the jealousy he understandably would have felt (and still feels), I’s think Luke actually should have also derived comfort from knowing that Nick, that someone, was looking out for June (he doesn’t even know how much). And he did seem to be grateful for that at the end of the Luke/Nick scene in 2x08, when he knew Nick as just a “friend”... but after knowing they were lovers I think maybe his jealousy and insecurity gets the best of him. I was just thinking, I feel like I used to have a higher view of Luke, because I remember, I think probably after 2x09, and after Luke listens to her tape in 3x05(?) being really moved thinking like “damn, both these men really love June so much, as hard as it would be for their heart and ego, I don’t think either would begrudge her the love of the other.” And tbh I definitely still feel that from Nick (if anything more so), but I no longer feel like that’s the case the other way around.🫤

Wow, JLaw did not sugarcoat it for Lydia. What he’s saying is fucked but but he’s right, she shouldn’t be surprised. She’s been willfully operating with blinders on as regards the (most) horrible things the majority of commanders do to handmaids, in able to rationalize the horrible things SHE does to these women, in the name of god’s plan and babies and shit. June told her in 4x03 but she was able to tell herself June was a sinner, a wicked woman not to be believed. Janine even tried to tell her about Esther (as she points out earlier this ep) but she was able to dismiss that as an outlier. It takes Janine throwing the facts in her face, again, after almost dying, and Joseph confirming it, to finally take the blinders off.

Am I crazy or is this yet another different baby (Nichole)?? Obv I know it’s a different baby from last season but for some reason I feel like she looks different from s5 ep 1-3?? Maybe it’s just the lighting.😂🤷‍♀️

I spy a former Handmaid murder gang at the protest 👀! Also, FUCK this guy, I’d have to hold back from shooting him too, especially after he punches Moira… Speaking of which, this is the second time this season someone’s shot a gun into the air so far... seems like maybe a metaphor for s5, gearing up for shit to go down and then nothing happens?😬

The car scene and especially Luke handling the gun made me SO UNCOMFY. I think it made me more uncomfortable than the sex scene (and that was awkward as fuck). I don’t know, I think it was that he seemed to be “play acting" and posing with it like “look at me being cool and murderous, are you into me now?” I just don’t buy it. I can believe that he hates Serena and wants her to fuck off and maybe even wishes her dead, and that’s understandable, but I don’t think he would do it himself. And that’s also understandable and fine but it just feels like he’s acting this way because he thinks it’s what June wants, and that feels weird.

“The Chain” is an interesting song choice here...I feel like it can have multiple meanings... from this site https://www.musicbanter.com/lyrics/Fleetwood-Mac-The-Chain.html:  The "chain" is the marriage or relationship that they had before her partner decided to be unfaithful. The line "Run in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies" indicates that the infidelity is known and bitterly accepted. The woman tells the man, "I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain" repeatedly throughout the song and brings him to task for the vows and promises made when they got together. Ultimately she tells the man that if he does not give her all of his love and commitment right now, he will lose her forever. So... is that about Luke bitterly accepting June’s affair with Nick? ...And his fear that if he doesn’t fully dedicate himself also to June’s fight (which means becoming more like Nick--or what he thinks Nick is), he will lose her forever? Dunno. Would love to see other’s thoughts on the meaning here...

Deliciously karmic Serena handmaid vibes with this new teal weirdo... Serena looks mildly perturbed at the ominous feeling that the shoe is now on the other foot. I kind of wonder about Ezra. What’s his deal? Is he really looking out for Serena? Or does he work for the Wheelers and their ulterior motives? Or something else entirely?

June and Luke lying in bed after (don’t make me say it again)... reminded me a little of the opening scene in ep where they’re in bed: in that scene he is sleeping with his back to her and she is laying on her back eyes open staring at the ceiling, remembering Serena’s cruelty and how she wants to make her pay for it...they’re totally disconnected. In this scene they are now physically connected, he is facing her and holding her, and she is slightly turned towards him and seems to almost surrender to the embrace, but then her face turns and is similar to the previous scene: looking up, detached. She is physically present and connected to Luke but still mentally seems elsewhere. 🤔

[batslime]

How was Till irl? Was he a good kisser (Don't answer this if it's uncomfortable lol). I am hoping I could meet him as well <3

First thing he did when he walked in the room after we were all there was sit on a couch and ask who wanted a drink lol

He was very hospitable but still in a partying mood/ set boundaries- very early a girl took her phone out for something and he got a little upset thinking she was taking pictures so we all put our phones outside but it didnt sour the mood at all (I was surprised when they didn’t ask us for them at first tbh) he was throwing glasses and flipping tables and stuff (i think he was showing off fjdnfjdn) but made sure nobody was in the way and would stop dead in the tracks to playfully shoo somebody, at one point all the water bottles had wither been drunk or gone flying so I started drinking from an ice bucket and he spotted me when he ran out of glasses and smirked at me and made this “give it here” gesture and threw that too fjdnfj

He danced a bit with some of the girls and had some of them put on music and yelled “this is teenager shit!” when somebody played Don’t Stop Believin and chatted with the multilingual people in other languages which I loved even if I couldn’t understand most of it lol. It was pretty loose and relaxed, he was very hospitable without being really formal about it, and I really enjoyed meeting the ladies back there too (there were a few times he had to leave the room briefly and I think me showing my new nipple piercings to the girls was the raunchiest it ever got hfhdj)

It def was nowhere near as crazy as I think ppl may assume, one of the ladies even asked if she could light a joint and the staff said no lmao. The smooches were nothing big, I think more of that kinda of old fashioned European expression than anything bc he also kissed Paul gn when he came in and kissed us all who were left goodbye at the end of the night, just a little peck. I don’t even like kissing. But yes I loved it and desperately pine for more I felt DRUNK on the first one esp since he just kinda did it out of nowhere in front of everyone else and hadn’t done smt like that before fjdnjf

It was a lot of fun! I don’t follow Rammstein like I did in high school anymore but I’ve seen some pretty recent instances of women he’s been in relationships with before say he’s one of the most polite and kind people they know, he just also gets really Sillay and likes bar fights and eating glass and will break people’s noses if they disrespect his friends. I think I heard Paul say once he loves women and women love him. Def got all that from him, he was rly funny and seems rly intelligent too, and did his best to make sure everyone was having a good but safe time (we got escorted out of the venue at the end of the night since we’d all been drinking). I’d love another opportunity to spend time with him again. I’d love a quieter more one on one chance to ask like what kind of music he likes, what he likes to hunt and fish, if he likes mushroom hunting. That’s kinda more of a fantasy tho ig and I def can’t be disappointed in what I got, best night of my life, def sets a high bar for if I ever get to see them live again lol

[vroomvroommbtch]

From me to you I hate everybody - DR x fem!OC

Masterlist

Summary: Jas loved France until she didn’t, at least not that weekend.

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x fem!OC

Warnings: fluff all over the place, dad!Danny and nothing but love with some hints of bad mood.

Word count: 4.6k

A/N: Kids! Vacations started so we have good news in form of a oneshot. Welcome to J&D little world which I decided to call House of memories. I have been dying to work on this two for forever but I never had time bc I was too consumed with M&M🤭 Its gonna be a bunch of oneshots bc I’m seriously too lazy to write another whole story like So it goes😌 Vacations and my hate for Mclaren turned into this thingy right here and I made it mostly in one day so bare with me if its a mess😅. Also should I make a timeline since this is gonna be kind of mixed with So it goes? Let me know? Okay, I hope u like it and let me know what you think? See u soon! 🫶🏻

From me to you I hate everybody.

-

July 2022.

Hearing Daniel's voice over the radio saying that tired 'I tried' was like the little drop that filled the glass. It wasn't such a bad race considering he made it to the points, but it was more than enough for Jas to want to leave.

Jas never left the garage until Daniel passed on his way to all the media obligations after a race. Since the first day she has stayed at the garage and not hiding at the RedBull hospitality, and after four years of relationships, Jas has stayed there after every single race, no matter how good or bad it was. She stayed through thick and thin, waiting for Daniel with a smile on her face, ready to grab his hand and squeeze it, but for the first time she just couldn't stay.

Not even on the worst days with Redbull she did such a thing, and some days she really wanted to just go away because she didn't want to see anyone there except Michael and Blake, but that day she couldn't handle anymore. She couldn't keep seeing all that orange garage around her. She couldn't handle all that people around her. She just couldn't deal with it to the point that she was disgusted, so she decided to leave.

Jas touched Michael's arm, and as soon as he took his headset off, she said she was going to the hospitality to get Olivia and then back to the motorhome. She could see the worry on her friend's face the second those words left her lips, but she assured everything was fine, that she just needed some air. Daniel didn't need to see her pissed-off face. The last thing he needed was that, so she asked Michael to let Daniel know she was going to be there waiting for him once he was done. And just like that, she left.

She found Maggie and Blake playing with Olivia. She was a little happy sunshine, with a smile on her face as she was in Blake's arms, standing on his legs and trying to grab his glasses. She was a happy almost six months old beautiful sunshine, always smiling like her dad, and Jas was more than happy knowing her daughter completely ignore the bad mood her mom was having. Neither her sister or her friend needed much explanation; they knew Jas and her face said it all, so they just let Jas take Olivia as they assured they would take care of everything with Michael. There was no need to explain how that 'Everything' meant 'Daniel', knowing perfectly fine he was gonna freak out as soon as he saw how her usual spot in the garage was empty.

Jas was sure the first thing Daniel did was text her, way even before any interview or other compromise he had. The sweet little 'Mike just told me. Are you ok? Love you, be there asap' that she received was enough to make her smile for a minute as she walked away from the noise, the cameras and the people, holding her daughter close to her chest, covering her from flashes and pictures. That was the only text she answered. She didn't say anything to Michael, Maggie, or Blake when they texted. She was just too exhausted to talk. She just wanted to go home and lay in bed with her daughter and her fiancée and forget about all that circus, even if for a couple of hours. They were the only two people she really wanted to see that day, even when it was impossible because they had to fly back to Monaco that same night.

At least Jas could have silence for an hour and some stolen minutes. A long hour where all the company she had was Olivia, which was the best company in the whole world. A long hour where she sat on bed, playing with her daughter and covering her perfect face with kisses to make Olivia giggle as she moved her tiny arms and legs. It wasn't until that long hour passed that she heard the door to the motorhome opening.

The giggles and play time were over, and after Jas fed Olivia, she fell asleep right in the middle of the bed while her mother just looked at her and stroked her tummy. But not even the door or the soft knock on the wall letting her know Daniel was finally there took Jas' attention from her daughter. Jas could have taken a nap, too, but like every single day from the moment Olivia was born, she couldn't stop looking at her. Jas couldn't really focus, pretty much lost on her own thoughts as her eyes were fixed on the way Olivia's chest was raising and falling slowly. She didn't want to move, not even knowing Daniel was there to pick them up because they had to fly back to Monaco, even if just for two days. It was in moments like those where Jas was nothing more than thankful for the fact that their daughter was just a baby who still couldn't understand what was happening around with her dad and his job, and damn, how much Jas envied being able to ignore all that.

But Daniel's hand stroking her cheek was what brought her back to reality. It was like a magic trick, but it worked every single time, no matter how badly Jas was feeling. It worked every single time she was so stressed it felt like there was no way out. It worked in the nights when she couldn't get herself to sleep and even when she was exhausted before and after Olivia was born. It had worked every single day and night of the four years they spent together, so it wasn't really a surprise the fact that it worked that Sunday after too. In fact, knowing Olivia and Daniel were safe, by her side and exactly under the same roof as she was where the breeze of fresh air she needed that day.  

"Everything suddenly got too much. Too loud and too warm, I guess. I wasn't in the mood to be there at all" Jas explained before Daniel could even ask; eyes still focused on Olivia as she tried to keep it together.

"The fact that your husband had a mediocre race doesn't help" Daniel affirmed softly, kissing her temple as Jas laced their fingers together and placed them over her chest.

"This has nothing to do with you. I'm just having one of those days" she shrugged, squeezing his fingers as she closed her eyes, feeling Daniel's lips against her skin again.

That's how they stayed for some minutes, lost in their own little bubble. Fingers lacing, eyes fixed on their baby girl and soft kisses to remember how they were there for each other. They didn't need any real reminders, not when their eternal reminder was right there by their side, wearing a cute Enchanté turquoise onesie with a pair of baby Vans, being a tiny copy of her dad.

"I was expecting you to explode at some point, y'know? You've been dealing with too much shit" Daniel whispered, breaking the silence of the motorhome.

It would be a lie if Jas didn't say everyone thought she was going to explode soon or later. She was always composed, but deep down all the shit was bubbling, especially the last couple of months and weeks. People always talked, she was used to it, and with time she learned to build a wall around her and them. She learned to make her skin thick because Daniel needed her, but since Monaco everything was going downhill, and she could point exactly at the guilty ones.

But the last thing Daniel needed was her fiancé exploding. He had too many issues, too much weight on his back, and too much pressure, so Jas took deep breath after deep breath waiting for herself to calm down, and it worked. It worked until that afternoon. "I'm just tired. I need to sleep. I need that summer break more than I thought" Jas insisted, turning in the bed to lay on her back and being able to look at Daniel.

What made her feel worse was how tired he looked. The bags under his eyes were too big and too noticeable. He looked exhausted and drained and on any normal day she would drag him to bed to get some rest, but that wasn't a normal day.

"Are you okay?" Jas asked, stroking his cheek with her fingers and then leaving her hand there, holding his jaw as carefully as possible. "You really need to sleep, baby. You really need to get some rest but we can't till we get to Monaco and I'm here laying like we don't have a plane to catch"

"Honey, I love you but stop for a damn sec. I'm alright. The one who's clearly not fine it's you" Daniel stated, stroking her face just like Jas was doing with him, all while their hands were still together, resting against her chest.

And then it came the guilt. Daniel shouldn't be worrying about her. He should be focusing on everything else but her. Her job was to help Daniel so he didn't have to worry about anything, at least on weekends when he should focus on everything except racing. That was her job, but Jas couldn't help but feel like she was failing miserably.

"I'm so sorry, Dan-"

But before she could keep talking, Daniel made her stay quiet with a kiss. It was so slow, so soft, so gentle, and so loving, that it made her mind shut up, even if just for a minute. It was all she needed in that moment to understand that it was good. It was going to be good no matter what happened as long as they were together. That's how it has been since the night they met.

"Hey, there's no need to apologize for anything. You're tired, it's normal. Nobody can blame you, especially not me" Daniel affirmed against her lips, stealing one last kiss as he moved apart just to be able to look at her face. "Let me ask you something. You sure you wanna have a weeding now? We can move it. Summer break, winter break, it's the same thing. We don't need a paper to say we love each other. We never needed one"

That was all Jas needed to suddenly sit down on the bed and drop his hands. She knew Daniel didn't mean wrong. She knew Daniel would never hurt her, but those words were like ice water suddenly falling all over her. They waited years for that moment. Between timing, the pandemic, restrictions and then the pregnancy and Olivia and everything, they had waited years. They waited so long that once Daniel finally proposed they just couldn't wait to do it, so they decided to not wait until winter break and instead do it during the summer break. Olivia was going to be six months by that time, so they thought it would be a good time to have their little dream wedding, surrounded by their families and friends in the place they called home. They thought it was a good idea, but maybe Daniel changed his mind.

"We're getting married in two weeks and you wanna move it? Are you having cold feet on this?" Jas asked, suddenly feeling like the air in the motorhome wasn't enough. The whole oxygen in the world wasn't enough as her chest was raising and falling too damn fast.

"No, babe! I want to marry you since the night we met, so believe me, I can't wait to do it. But-"

Even if Jas felt her soul going back to her body and her heart stop racing inside her heart, this time it was Jas' chance to make Daniel shut up, but she didn't do it with a kiss. Instead, she placed her fingers over his mouth, letting him know it was better to not keep talking. "No buts. We're gonna get married, then we get all the rest we need to come back and kick ass on track"

"You ain't regretting telling me to keep racing, right?" Daniel suddenly asked, between kisses all over her hand, but especially over her engagement ring. It was almost normal to hear Daniel ask such a thing, especially on the worst days. It was also normal for Jas to answer a very simple 'Shut up, babe', but that day she wasn't in the mood, not even for that.

"What's with you and the silly questions, babe?"

"I'm just saying…"

"No, Dan. I don't regret it" she started, getting up from bed because every single time Jas was overthinking and over-worried, she would pace around enough to leave a hole in the floor. "I'm just tired of seeing you work your ass off every single day and all for what? So your team makes a shitty strategy and both you and Lando get stuck behind some car? And then people and your own boss keeps talking shit and it goes on and on and on. You work your ass off at the factory and then you work your ass off at home to be a good husband and a good dad for our baby and to be present as much as possible because I know you're worried as fucking hell to let us down even if you could never do such a thing because you already are the best dad and husband" she rambled, moving her hair from one side to the other as a nervous tic she always had.

"J, princess, c'mon-" Daniel tried to interrupt her, even knowing it was impossible when she was nervous.

"No, you know it's true!" she exclaimed, maybe too loud, almost forgetting their daughter was by their side sleeping. And in those moments was when she was nothing but thankful for the fact that Olivia was a deep sleeper, not like them. "And damn, its not just you working your ass off. Look at Blake! And Mike? That poor boy's working none stop all the damn time to keep you healthy and ready to go while he's also trying to hold Maggie as tightly as possible because poor kid's a mess. He's doing every single possible thing to keep her going because she's also in the verge of losing it. She's running around like a chicken without head, Dan" Jas breathed, feeling the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. "And goddamn, I feel like I should do something else to help you all guys and I don't know what or how. I'm all over the place because Maggie and Mike are a big ass mess and I'm so fucking worried about them and it's their relationship but they're my family and at the same time I need to focus on you and Oli because it's my job. You're my priority and I need to look after you both because if I don't do it what kind of bad mom and wife I am? I can't even sit on that goddamn garage because I'm just tired of seeing everyone just smiling at me like it's all cool when it's not. But I should be able to stay because of you. You need me there, babe. I know you want me there. And then there's mom, dad, grandma, grandpa and our friends and the wedding and I feel a bad daughter and a terrible friend for not being more present for them and now for pulling all this shit on you when you have way bigger problems like driving a shitty car at 300 kilometers per hour at an unhealthy temperature and why I am even letting you do that? What kind of wife I am? What kind of mom I am letting the father of our baby do that?"

It wasn't until she took it all out of her chest that she stopped talking and walking. It wasn't until she was done, she also realized her heart was racing again, just like her mind. She knew Daniel could count with one hand how many times he'd seen Jas like that. The first time was when she had to tell him about the bad encounter she had with Christian Horner during the Monaco GP when Daniel and Jas had been dating for just a couple months back in 2018, which only gave Daniel another reason to leave Redbull. Then when they found out about Michael and Maggie and she had to explain to Daniel why she was so furious about the situation. Then when she found out she was pregnant. And the last was after she had a very long and very uncomfortable talk with Zak Brown. But even when it happened once in a while, Daniel knew what to do. He knew the best thing was to let her talk until it was out of her chest and that's exactly what he did.

"Are you done?" he wondered, getting up from the bed and going straight to her to place both hands on her shoulders.

"I don't know. If you give me another second I'm sure I'll find some other things where I'm failing miserably" Jas breathed, rubbing her face with both hands. Then it clicked. "The next collection! We need to finish asap with the new collection, babe! You're about to drop the rodeo collection and I don't have the next one done!" she exclaimed, pressing her hands over Daniel's chest and grabbing a handful of his shirt.

"When I asked you all those years ago to do this together, I didn't do it for you to freak out, babe. It's supposed to be fun" Daniel stated, looking down at her as he held her hands between his and resting them against his chest.

The memory of all those years ago was what made Jas finally smile in what felt like forever. It felt like it was yesterday when Daniel had the crazy idea to drop his own collection and asked Jas to do it with him because there was no one he trusted to do it more than her, even when Jas had almost no idea about clothes design. It felt like it was just days ago when he had to insist for a damn week to finally convince her to do some simple, cool design to see if they both liked it. It felt like no time passed since that first collection dropped and they worked on another and then another and another. It had been her favorite thing to do, her favorite job so far, and the most rewarding one, even if more than once she freaked out thinking it wasn't good enough. There was nothing as fun and wonderful as working with the man she loved, so it was nothing but a delight, at least almost all the time.

"It's fun ninety percent of the time" Jas shrugged, pretending it wasn't a big deal. "And I thought you did it cause I'm your favorite graphic designer"

"You're my favorite everything, kiddo" Daniel affirmed, kissing her once before he kept talking. "You're my favorite designer, but also the best mom, wife, friend, aunt and sister. And you gotta believe me when I tell you you're there for everyone all the time, J. Nobody knows how the hell you do it but you do, so nobody can say anything about you not being present. Plus, you're a badass. Not much people would've the courage to stand up against some of the most powerful people in Formula 1 and her boyfriend's bosses, and there you were calling out their shit, and not once but twice"

And again, Jas smiled, but this time thanks to the proud look on Daniel's face. Any other guy would probably get mad at his girlfriend for getting in on his business and standing up against his boss, but not him. He didn't do it all those years ago and he didn't do it weeks ago. He was just worried about what his bosses said to Jas, ready to stand up and fight anyone who would mess with the woman he loved more than anyone in the world. Not that Jas needed someone defending her, but Daniel was ready to do it.

"Gimme a chance and I'll do it again. Nobody messes with my baby daddy" Jas murmured, letting go of his hands to place them on his neck, stroking his jaw with her thumbs.

"I know, sweet mama badger" he smiled, placing his arms around her waist, bringing her even closer to his body. "You're a badass and that's one of the things I admire the most about you. That and the fact that you handle all my shit, you pull up with me as I go around racing cars, all while you're handling motherhood like a pro doing most of the things on your own"

"Danny, baby, don't. It's not like that"

"You know it's true. You do most of the things on your own and it's not like when it was just you and me. With the three of us it's just harder. Between the hours I spend at the sim, working, racing and everything else you spend most of the times on your own with Oli. And you do it anyway and never complain about a thing when you totally should, so it's alright if you do it now" Daniel affirmed, moving her hands under her shirt to stroke her back as he kept talking, never moving his eyes away from hers. "Just like it's alright if you're not in the mood to be at the garage. You don't have to if you don't want. And if you don't then that's not gonna change a damn thing. You're the best mom and wife in the world, that's why we love you so much. Thats why I love you so much and I can't wait to finally say this wonderful, smart, beautiful woman's my wife"

"I love you too, D. More than you'll ever know" she smiled, getting in her tiptoes to kiss him. Jas never needed a reaffirmation or a path on the back; everything she did was out of nothing but love and devotion for the man in front of her and then for their daughter. It was her job to look after them and there was nothing she loved more in the world, but to hear Daniel saying those words was all she needed to know she was doing the right thing. It was all she needed to know she wasn't fucking it up. "Sleeping with you that night was seriously the best decision I ever made" she joked, moving her arms around his neck to scratch his head and play with his short curls.

Jas was surprised Olivia didn't wake up by the sound of her dad's laugh. It was the next thing Jas needed to feel better and like every single time, it worked wonders. "Na, it's the second best. The first one is right there, sleeping like she doesn't need to get her tiny ass on a plane" Daniel affirmed, pointing with his head to Olivia.

And like every single night when they put her in her crib, they couldn't help but stay in each other's arms, just looking at her, still not believing she was real and with them. "We did a cute one, uh?"

"Cute? Look at her face. She's the most beautiful baby in the world!"

"She is. Besides those dimples and curls made her even cutter, just like her daddy" Jas smiled, looking from Olivia to Daniel and then back to their daughter. Everyone said Olivia looked like Jas. Everyone said she was her mother's face, but the youngest Ricciardo had her dad's brown eyes, his dimples and his cheeky smile. Besides, even if they weren't crazy and defined as Daniel's, Olivia inherited the brown curls, but they were more like a waved version of it. But Jas favorite thing was how Olivia also took the always-smiling thing from her dad. She was always giggling and smiling, which made everyone say she was nothing but a sunshine of a baby.

"Beautiful as her mum and pa" Daniel affirmed, kissing Jas' head. "Do you trust me?" he suddenly asked, looking back at Jas with the sweetest expression on his handsome face.

"You came inside me the first night we met, I started to travel the world with you not even six months after dating and then I moved in with you not even after one year and there you ask if I trust you" Jas joked, getting in her tiptoes again to kiss his cheek as she moved her arms from his neck to his waist to hug him.

"We were insane for that. But trust me when I say everything's gonna be alright. There's nothing you and me can't fix"

Has couldn't help but nod at his words. There was nobody she trusted as much as Daniel. They had been through roller coasters after roller coaster and they always made it work together no matter what the problem was or how hard things were, so she knew that was just another hard time in their story. "I know it's gonna be alright and I know there's nothing we can fix. I just miss home. I wanna lay down in our bed" she shrugged, getting out of her chest another of the things that were haunting her. Home was anywhere she was with Daniel and Olivia, but she missed Perth. She missed her favorite place in the world and being there with her favorite people.

"I know you do, kiddo. I miss it too, but just some days and we'll be there. Can you do that for me?" Daniel asked, kissing her forehead, then the tip of her nose, and lastly her lips.

"Just for you"

"You're the absolute best. Bestest of best in the world"

"I know" she shrugged, closing her eyes as she rested her head on his chest. She knew they didn't have much time left; she knew they had to go soon, and that meant going back to reality, so she took the chance to enjoy the last minutes of silence, but especially the last minutes of not sharing her husband with the world. "Remember when you told me you were thinking about switching to Renault?"

"I do. You told me if we had to move to France then we were going to move to France" Daniel remembered, kissing her forehead as they thought of those years that seemed like centuries ago.

"Exactly. And you told me 'I know you love Paris, but the Renault factory is in UK, princess'. That's how much I know about F1" Jas giggled, feeling as silly as she felt that day for having zero idea about ninety percent of all the things related to Daniel's work. Four years later she knew like a 30 percent more, but that was it.

"All I know it's you were all ready to make your bags and go to France with me. You've no idea how happy I was to hear you say that" he smiled, looking down at her with nothing but love in his brown eyes.

"I'm still ready to pack and go anywhere you want, but I don't really like France today" she murmured as a sad smirk appeared on her face.

"What about we grab our baby girl we get out of here?" Daniel offered, and those were probably the best words she heard in the whole damn day.

"Alrighty, let's get out of this shit hole" Jas affirmed, the slightest Aussie accent she kind of adopted with the years appearing at her finest in one single phrase, making Daniel smile even more.

"That's my wife!" he exclaimed, kissing her once more before they let each other go, ready to forget about that French weekend.

[nobody7102]

Bestie?? I was wondering if I might be able to share a thought with you about Bob and his dad? (I do wanna apologize for the second half of the Ben Mears ask I sent I few days ago and if I ever do that again please.....for the love o Jesus, hit me over the head with a bamboo rod, lol). I've been seeing alot of thoughts about both the elder and the younger Pullman and it's making my brain go nuts, especially if Bob's dad was also a Top Gun pilot. I also heard a rather gruesomely funny story from our dear friend, Glen Powell, about an incident that occurred while filming and thought it might make you laugh.....so here goes.

So I have it in my head that Joe Floyd (Bob's dad) was in the same class as Goose, Maverick, Ice and the others and flew quite a few missions with them. He also earned the apt nickname "Foul-Mouth Floyd" (because some of the shit he says would probably have a Marine Corps. General rolling in his grave) and his callsign, "Rabbit" because him and his wife Irene had already had seven other kids with Bob being their youngest.

It was 1992, Joe was fresh off a mission in Kuwait and took a job as a flight instructor at Top Gun. Him, Ice, Mav and a few others were in charge of training new recruits who are as green as you can get and I mean GREEN. Joe's already dealing with enough at this point, the kids wreaking havoc at home and Irene being five months pregnant with Bob, so imagine his frustration when he gets stuck with an arrogant little prick fresh out of the Ivy League colleges whose attitude makes his blood boil. The whole while, the kid's like "oh I'm too good to puke in the plane", ya know, the whole nine yards.

Later on while they're up in the air, Joe notices the kid is starting to look really green around the gills and is getting worse as the minutes go by. He asks how he's doing and the little shit's like "Oh I'm doin just fine" (clearly he's not) and that's when Joe realizes this is his chance to teach the little shithead a lesson. He knows the kid's quietly reaching for the puke bag but doesn't say anything about it.

Joe informs the kid that they're gonna practice with a barrel roll and the kid's like "ok, gimme a sec". Before the kid has a chance to even blink, Joe does a double barrel roll and the contents of the bag and the newbie's stomach all go right back in his face and all across the glass canopy of the plane. The kid is horrified that his lunch literally came right back up in his face, but Joe's secretly laughing his ass off. Unfortunately when they land, that plane has to be scrubbed, sterilized and disinfected and it takes two whole days.

Years later, Joe tells the story to Bob and when Bob becomes a civy instructor and has to deal with an arrogant prick, he pulls a page from his dad's dirty playbook and does the same exact thing to the newbie he's been partnered with.

Bestie, I hope this little bit makes your day and makes you laugh, you don't have to do anything with it, it's just a little bit of comedy I wanted to share (lol), because picturing Lonestar from Spaceballs is making me laugh like an idiot.

IM DEAD AHHHHHHH! Rabbit is a fucken great name bc if Billy boy was in my life…. Same, lol

And babes there will never be enough Ben Mears content in the world.

God I remember watching that interview with Glen and I physically gagged, knowing that Joe probably does it(and probably did it to Jake bc let’s be real it was probably Jake he did it to) then BOB DOING IT?!

I know Jake saw that happen and after Bob landed on the tarmac, Jake stared at him for a solid two minutes before yelling “Holy Fuckballs!” And pointing to Bob “Joe Floyd!… God fucken damnit!” And he’ll slap his knee before going to get a drink bc Joe Floyd was his greatest instructor but god damn if he wasn’t scared shitless by the man

[my-insanity-is-an-artform]

punching the air the wall the bed the sky (not the person) bc of First wtf wtf he’s truly awful for my heart it’s going pitter patter bc of him :///

also ”#and he knows EXACTLY what he's doing to you #First is a Gentleman and will use that to his advantage” h he’s aware what he’s doing to you? terrible disgusting downright atrocious (affectionate) 🔪🔪🔪🔪 where is he planning on going with his evil schemes,,, is he trying to make you fall for him so he could court you or smth >:0

- bestie anon

For you, for @luimagines, for @screaming-until-god-hears-me and for every other First Simp out there

I love you all! So here's the obligatory ~Sees You Dressed Fancy~ kind of fic. Cause I need ideas.

You tugged on the edge of your sleeve nervously and sipped at the wine a kind sympathetic maid passed you. The group had landed in Warriors' Hyrule and had promptly been invited to a ball by the Zelda of that era.

Well, sort of. There had been some troubling rumours about some political rival and hints of slavery and illicit potions. Zelda was throwing the ball so the person in question would attend while her forces raided his manor and several key locations.

And who in their right mind would miss a ball with not just one Hero but several.

Wind, Four, Sky and Hyrule had managed to get out of it due to 'being too young' or having to help with a concussion which had been the result of Sky being too close to a moblin and Hyrule being unwilling to leave him.

The rest of them had to attend. For 'security and bait' purposes.

Including you.

So here you were at a ball, in a castle, wearing an outfit that you were pretty sure was the most expensive thing you had ever worn or would ever wear in your entire life.

The stares and the whispers that followed you were manageable but very annoying. Was it so clearly obvious that you were not a hero but yet followed them anyway?

You sighed as you took another sip of wine. The sooner the ball was over the better.

Initially, you had thought you might be able to talk with the others and enjoy yourself, but Warriors had been almost immediately dragged off by General Impa, Time had spotted several old acquaintances (you'd get that story out of him later), Twilight and First had somehow been pulled into conversations with a few young men, Wild was busy at the buffet table and Legend was glaring in the corner at everyone (what he had against Royal Balls was his own business.).

So you were left alone, hoping someone might take pity on you and talk with you before you died of boredom.

It was a thought you would soon regret.

As soon as you had finished your small glass of wine and started thinking about joining Wild at the buffet table, a man stepped into your line of view.

He was tall and gangly with sharp point features and more grease in his hair, looking slimier than a chu-chu. His clothes and fingers gleamed with jewels. His expression was piercing and seemed to go straight through you. On the whole, he looked the very picture of a slimy wealthy opulent bastard.

Unfortunately, he also matched the description of the nobleman Zelda was baiting. All of them had thought he would target Warriors or one of the other heroes, but judging from the way he was eyeing you, he probably had other plans.

"Good evening. My name is Earl Connard. May I have the pleasure of this dance, my dear..?" He held out a hand.

You smiled nervously and gave your name. There was now no doubt about who this person was. You subtly looked around for an exit, but none was obvious. Zelda needed to keep the Earl here and frankly, there was no better place for him to be other than right in the middle of the dance floor where everyone could see him.

"Of course, Your Lordship. I should warn you I'm not very familiar with the dances here." You were careful with your words, desperate not to insult him.

The smile he gave you sent a shiver down your spine and a feeling of deep disgust when he kissed your hand. "That is of no consequence, my dear." He led you onto the dance floor and put his hand on your waist.

The next thirty minutes were the longest thirty minutes of your entire life. He spoke about nothing more than himself and what he did speak about made you very certain that this man was probably the most unpleasant smug arrogant asshole you had ever met in your entire life.

And you were including Dark Link in that statement. (The guy was only trying to kill you after all, not see how far he could pull you close or how low his hand could go on your waist.)

Just as the music was about to play its fifth song, a flash of green and red cut in along with a voice.

"I apologise for the interruption, but may I have the next dance?"

You turned to see First standing there with his hand extended, a hard look in his eyes as he stared down Earl Connard who puffed up.

That all went over your head as you stared at First. Like the others, his usual outfit had been replaced by a deep green jacket cinched at the waist by a deep brown leather belt and clean dark trousers. His usually red scarf had been cleaned and redyed. Even his hat was gone, leaving his hair carefully styled. He looked even more ridiculously attractive than usual.

You cleared your throat, breaking the stalemate between the two men and placed your hand in First's. "Thank you for the dance, Earl Connard. It was a pleasure to meet you."

The Earl glared at you then spun on his heel towards a group of servants who had trays of alcohol.

You sighed in relief and turned to face First properly. "Thanks for that."

He smiled gently. "Of course. You looked deeply uncomfortable with your situation so I simply sought to remedy it." The music began to play and the people around you began to move.

"We should probably move-!"

A hand slipped around your waist and pulled you close as First moved you both along. You could feel the blush race over your face as you looked up at First whose smile had a hint of mischief in it.

"You did accept to dance with me and I intend to collect upon that acceptance."

You let your mouth click shut as First led you across the dance floor far more gracefully than Earl Connard had. His hands guided you with gentle pressure and his eyes were locked on you the whole time.

You started to feel dizzy for a reason that had nothing to do with the alcohol from earlier and you scrambled for something to say.

"You clean up nice." You wanted to slap yourself.

First let out a low hum. "Thank you. You look absolutely wonderful tonight. Your outfit suits you well." His eyes raked over you and you nearly shivered from the feeling.

Eventually, the music ended and you pulled away from First slowly, your cheeks still burning. A hand reached up to brush against your blush and a voice came close to your ear.

"You are feverish. Perhaps some air would do you well." First carefully led you to a balcony door and slipped through it, letting the cool night air wash over you.

You didn't realise how hot you were until you shivered from the cold. A shield of warmth pressed against your side and you startled for a moment before noticing First had slipped his jacket around you.

"There. I did not realise it would be this cold outside. I do not wish for you to fall unwell."

You nodded, swallowing. "Thanks and thanks again for getting me away. He was super creepy, what with trying to feel me up and kissing my hand and calling me dear."

First frowned and turned to you more fully. "Feeling you up?"

Shrugging, you tried to phrase it without setting of the now clearly irated Hero. "He tried to move his hand lower than my waist when we were dancing and he kissed my hand which made me feel super gross."

First's jaw clenched and his eyes burrowed into yours. "Which hand?" His sentence was clipped and firm.

You waved the hand Earl Connard had kissed awkwardly. "I'm going to wash it as soon as I ca-!"

For the second time that night, you were stunned into silence as First grasped your hand and pressed a gentle kiss to it, his eyes locked on yours.

"My deepest apologies for not seeing your distress sooner."

"No problem." You said faintly.

He kept your hand grasped in his as he ran a thumb over your knuckles. "Did you at least enjoy the festivities before encountering 'that man'?" He asked.

Your brain was like mush that you let the truth slip out. "Honestly, a little disappointed. It's my first time at something as fancy as this, but I was bored. I didn't really talk to anyone and the only dancing I got to do was with that ass until you rescued me."

First frowned and stepped back to bow again. "Well, may I have another dance? It would be a shame to not show off your beauty tonight. Especially since this is your first ball."

Your breath left you in an instant and you nodded absently. He smiled at you and pulled you close once again.

"Aren't we going inside?"

"You are still flushed, my dear. It would be best if you were to cool off a little further before rejoining the ball. But that does not mean we cannot still dance." First said as he slipped a hand onto your waist.

You grasped his shoulder and tried not to watch the muscle flex under your grip.

This was probably going to be a long dance and the others would tease you to death if they caught you out here in First's arms.

(But damn, what a way to go~)

[fartoo-sensitive]

here in the fire

started writing this last night on the way to my bday dinner with my brother and his dad bc for some reason i got sad and was thinking about bo, so...sorry in advance lol also sorry for any possible typos i haven't looked over it yet, but i will when i get home from work tonight, just wanted to post it before i leave :)

word count: 1228

warnings: canon typical violence; major character death; slight canon divergence

character(s): bo sinclair x gn!reader

the realization that something was very wrong came on slowly, then washed over you all at once like a sudden downpour in the middle of a long drought. this flood wasn't desired, though. oh, no no no. this was completely unwanted.

ambrose was quiet at the best of times, but the town's silence now, the desolate way that the streetlamps shone down and the empty gas station made your heart clench painfully in your chest then pick up a frantic rhythm against your ribs. the blown-out glass of a shop front window had you stepping on the gas and accelerating down the road to the house.

you slammed your foot down on the brake when you came up behind the yellow tow truck, bo's truck off to the side at an angle. you didn't even cut the ignition before hopping out of the car and sprinting up the porch to fling the door open.

at first nothing seemed out of place, but when your feet brought you into the kitchen and you found blood, bile in the sink, and a gore-covered arrow on the counter it clicked. someone was hurt. one of your boys was hurt. as you backed out of the room you prayed to all of the gods you no longer had faith in that he was alright.

you turned on your heel and spotted a square of paper on the ground by the pool table. slowly, so slowly, you crept forward and kneeled down to peel it off the ground. turning it over showed you it was just a scrap of paper, bloody fingerprints having run reverently over the tiny faces in the photograph before dropping it to the hardwood.

the picture of the sinclair twins was stuffed absentmindedly into the front pocket of your jeans as you ran back out the front door, barely sparing a glance at the two bodies in the bed of the tow truck as you sped from the yard and down the hill, straight to the house of wax.

it took only seconds to get there, but your mind was screaming as you hunched over in front of the steps, "out of time, out of time, you're out of time." you shook your head, focusing on the sounds coming from behind the doors.

a shout, multiple thuds.

you walked up the steps and shoved the doors open, eyes scanning the room.

the house of wax was being engulfed in flames, trudy and, most importantly, vincent's hard work being snuffed out, into nothing. but that wasn't what had your breath catching in your throat and your heart thudding to a complete stop only to restart at a pace that left your entire soul aching.

bo was laid out on the floor by the staircase, bloodied and smeared, body crumbled. a girl stood above him, a baseball bat clenched in her fists and a manic expression clouding her eyes. the second she saw you the bat fell from her grip.

"carly, look out!"

you hadn't even noticed the man on the ground further into the room, but je seemed to be incapacitated and wasn't your main focus at this point.

a hysterical laugh bubbled up from somewhere deep in your chest when you looked from bo's mangled body up at the girl's face, now drained of color, and for a second you wondered what she saw on your own face.

you didn't realize you had moved until you were already on top of her, knees pinning her arms to her sides and hands tangled in her hair, slamming her head back against the softening wax floor. she screamed and cried, and you could hear the man yelling for her and at you, but it only made your fingernails scrape harder into the flesh of her scalp and your legs dig deeper into her biceps.

"look at me!" you shouted, and you realized then that you were crying. fat drops slipping down the apples of your cheeks to fall onto the dirty tank top the girl was wearing.

she opened her eyes, also full of tears, and mumbled almost-silent pleas.

"how could you? he was one of the only good things that's ever happened to me and you-" your words strangled in your throat. saying it out loud would make it too real, even if the evidence of the fact was not two feet away.

the girl clenched her teeth. "bo was a monster," she snarled. "i saw the high chairs, heard the way he talks to vincent-"

your hands ripped themselves out of her hair and wrapped around her throat. "don't say his name. you know nothing."

"you don't have to do this!" she cried.

you cocked your head to the side, staring down at her, tears still streaming. you smiled, and it was filled with absolute abhorrence. "i do." a hand slipped from her throat and found the handle of the knife you kept in your back pocket. you brought it up and pressed the release, feeling a flood of almost relief when her eyes widened at the sight of the blade.

the first plunge of the knife into her chest was met with two screams, one from the girl and one from her companion, though his was abruptly cut off. you paid him no mind and continued what you had started. the feeling of her blood warming over your hands a new but welcome feeling.

you couldn't say how long you kept on, or how many times you drove the blade into her, but it felt like it had been hours when suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around your middle, one hand taking hold of the hand you held the knife in.

"enough."

the voice was low, gruff, and filled with such an infinite sadness that though you had never heard it before you knew it was vincent even before turning to face him.

the second your eyes met his you dropped the knife and flung yourself away from the girl's body, crawling the small distance to where bo was.

you bowed over him, carefully pulling his irreparably damaged head into your lap and letting your still-falling tears mix with his blood.

"you're okay," you whispered. "everything is going to be okay."

it was becoming stifling in the house of wax, the flames from below licking up the walls and eating the floor, but you couldn't move. you wouldn't. how could you leave bo here?

your hands smoothed over the matted hair on his head. "i love you." it was a choked, broken sob that came from the bottom of your soul. you thought about how you'd never gotten to say those words to him before.

a tugging on your arm pulled your attention away only for a moment, and you made contact with vincent's half-melted mask, his eye shining from behind it frantically. he motioned to the doors.

"i'm not leaving him!"

he made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded half like a whine of despair, half like a sigh of relief, then shifted closer and wrapped his arms around you, one his hands spread out on bo's stomach, clutching his shirt.

you leaned your forehead down against the tacky mess of bo's, and hoped that the gods you had forsaken could find it in themselves to be merciful when you met them.

[realcube]

haikyuu boys with a professional volleyball player! s/o 🏆

characters: kuroo, bokuto, kita, oikawa & sakusa 

tw// swearing

thank you anon for this awesome request!

Tetsurō Kuroo

he’d tell all his teammates about you and none of them would care

well, lev would care - he’d be so excited and asking for kuroo to get him your autograph but yaku would just be like ‘you don’t actually believe him, do you? 🙄’

so yeah, yaku would convince lev and yamamoto that you were just a figment of kuroo’s imagination

even thoUGH YAKU KNEW YOU WERE A REAL PERSON BC HE HAD MET YOU BEFORE AND  HE KNEW THAT YOU WERE DATING KUROO AIREBVKZGA he just loved annoying kuroo <3

and he did the job well bc kuroo was definitely annoyed

he’d be waving his phone around, desperately trying to show lev and yamamoto the selfies he took with you but they’d just be like 😑

then he finally convinced you to come visit him at practise to put an end to his humiliation

so you appeared one day and kuroo was so hyped

but not as hyped as yamamoto

he has hot-ppl senses which tingled when you entered the room so he was the first to greet you while kuroo was sitting setting up the nets

he was literally all over you

‘woah 😍 your thigh are so toned’

‘uh thank you ???’

and kuroo was not here for it

‘AYE GET YOUR DIRTY PAWS AWAY FROM THEM!!’

yamamoto fkn shits himself and runs ✌🏃‍♂️💨

then kuroo picks you up bridal style and parades you around the gym, rubbing it in everyone’s face - especially yaku and lev

‘guys, do you see this? my totally REAL s/o! who’s been to NATIONALS!! uhuh. all mine, y’all.’

yaku is so ticked off and definitely goes to snitch him out to Nekomata

and lev is just so awed, ‘(y/n) is real???’

for a moment he thought he was dreaming too until kenma purposefully hit him with a ball

‘put me down, tetsurō.’ you groaned, folding your arms over your chest

he obeyed, gently setting you down on your feet before pecking your lips, ‘ok, well, i should probably get back to practise now - train hard so hopefully one day i can be as good as you.’ he joked, teasingly emphasising the ‘you’.

you playfully punched his arm before turning on your heels to head out, ‘you wish!’

although he’ll always joke about how amazing you are in comparison to him but he genuinely admires you 🤩

Kōtarō Bokuto

he hypes you up to his team constantly

they’ve literally never even met you and they are being asked all these questions from bokuto lol

‘hey onaga, did you see (y/n) at their nationals game the other day?’

onage flinched upon being jump-scared by his captain, then choked out a little white lie, ‘uh yeahhh.’

bokuto’s face lit up, ‘great! they were so amazing during the third set, weren’t they? what was your favourite part?’

onaga froze, ‘uhh- oh, i think i hear anahori calling me to help him practise his sets! gotta go.’ then he proceeded to bolt off

bokuto shrugged it  off at first as he shouldn’t complain bc a teammate dropped a conversation to continue training with anahori - i mean, onaga came to volleyball club to practise so he wasn’t obligated to make conversation with bokuto

but while he was saying his goodbyes to everyone as they left the gym to go home, it hit him-

‘bye, komi! buh-bye, washio! and goooodbyeeee, konoha.’ bokuto let out a relived sigh as he had now finished saying his partings which meant he could lock the gym then go home, ‘wait-- ANAHORI DIDN’T EVEN COME TO PRACTISE TODAY! ONAGA!’

bokuto was deeply disheartened that his own teammate would lie to him - to get out of a conversation about you, no less

he just wanted them all to love you as much as he does

like..he’s your biggest fan!!!

~ even post-timeskip ~

he’d show up to all of your games wearing your jersey and some of the eagle-eyed press would try talk to him

they’d interview him about his own affair or about the MSBY Black Jackals but he genuinely has no interest in talking about that bc today is your day and he is here to support you

‘are you and your team hopeful to attend Olympics despite player Miya’s rumoured injury? and disclose whether these rumours are factual?’

sakusa decked atsumu after he joked about having covid-

the interview shoved and waved a microphone in bokuto’s face while he just stared at them blankly like ◉_◉

after a while bokuto stuffed a handful of popcorn in his mouth and chuckled, ‘don’t know! but the game is about to begin, shhh!-’ he hushed the interviewer, instinctively swatting the microphone away as he stood up in the stands to cheer for you, ‘WOOOO! GO, (Y/N)!’  

then he turned to the interviewer who stood frozen with a dumbfounded look on his face, ‘THAT’S MY LOVERRRR!’ he screamed into the microphone so loudly that all the press naturally backed off

and please do the same for him when the press approach you at his games 🙏

Shinsuke Kita

ofc he dates a volleyball player player-

he is such an ushijima

he is ushijima if he wasn’t left-handed

he doesn’t really brag about you too often at practise but he feels so proud when you win a game then he comes to practise the next day and his teammates tell him to pass on a congratulations

also he always comes to your games

no matter how minor or how large

you’d think you could both bond a lot over volleyball and you did that in the beginning

but over time - especially when you started playing volleyball professionally - you found other things to bond over and saved volleyball for work

he probably runs a (y/n) stan page AEIVBARTBV

AND YOU’D NEVER GUESS

like he is literally a rice farmer- you are under the impression that he doesn’t even know what facebook is

and he’s good at selling the act too

‘did you see the picture of us i posted on my instagram?--’ you asked, taking another spoonful of your cereal

‘insta what?’ kita inquired without hesitation

then as soon as you exit the room, he’ll log onto his (y/n) twitter stan account

ok ok sorry i’ll stop now

anyway he ALWAYS tries to ensure that the first thing you eat after a big game is something that he cooks

and if you go out with your team to eat after a game to celebrate a victory, he’ll try at act sweet but he’s lowkey shady tbh

‘congratulations on your victory, (y/n). and to many more’ he lifted his glass and so did you

but just as you were about to take a sip, kita interjected, ‘but that is going to be difficult if you keep filling your body with junk rather than healthy, organi--’

‘kita-’

‘ok.’ he took a sip of his drink in your honour

HE JUST CARES ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING HE’S NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE 😭

Tōru Oikawa

again, when you and oikawa first started dating, volleyball was one of the only things y’all talked about

but now that you were both doing it professionally, it was basically banned in your home

well, the the game itself wasn’t banned but i mean, why would you do something all day then come back to talk about it more?

you both might adore volleyball but everything has it’s limits lol

anyway, oikawa is another one that is extra af when they come to your games

he probably makes a sign and paints his face in your team colours

and when you come out onto the court, he’ll blow you a kiss and if you don’t blow one back he’ll be so offended lmao

bc he always makes a big deal out blowing you a kiss or winking at you as soon as he steps out onto the court

it’s basically a thing he does for good luck at this point

also, if there are ever ppl trying to take pictures of y’all in public- oikawa is the first to make a big show for them

like he’s all up on you 

he’ll dip you then push his lips against you for a passionate kiss, in front of the ppl and they always go fkn crazy

he thinks he is like..Beyoncé famous...which he is not

please humble him 

but nicely 

but y’all only get attention around summertime when you are frequently playing big games 

like if oikawa leaves the house a week you competed in a big game- he’ll literally get swamped with ppl asking about you 

but contrarily, if you both leave the house in winter literally no one would even spare you a glance

on a RARE occasion, someone might sneakily snap a photo but that’s it

so you get the best of both worlds :))

also, if you’re an ace and he’s ever feeling down, if you ask him to set for you for a bit and you compliment one/all of his sets, he’ll literally feel so much better 

Kiyoomi Sakusa 

sometimes you both come back from a rough day at work, slump on the couch and watch TV together

after showering, changing, dinner etc

he’s not nna come anywhere near you if he thinks there is a chance he might be stinky from practise 

he turned on the TV and it just so happened to be on an Live volleyball game in some language that neither of you understood

he’d snake his arms around your shoulders and pull you close to his chest, satisfied by your synced breathing 

he’d press a single kiss against your jaw before shifting his attention onto the channel

you’d lay there in his arms, both of you seeming content in each other’s presence while watching the game

in reality though, neither of you were actually absorbing anything that was happening on the court - you were just staring blankly at the TV

the TV simply served as background noise to your cuddling

tbh he was way more interested in hearing the sound of your heart beat peacefully against his chest 

after a while, if he gets bored, he might finally break the silence by inquiring about your day

but if he doesn’t, you’d probably end up falling asleep in his arms, forcing him to sleep on the couch bc he’s doesn’t want to risk moving and waking you up 🥺

anyway, he’s another one that likes to save volleyball for work then leave it by the door as soon as you step inside the house 

but he’s not as uptight about it as oikawa or kita

like he’ll happily put on a volleyball match for you guys to watch if he thinks the player’s techniques are impressive

also, if the weather is nice, if you ask him to come out and practise with you for a bit and he’ll say yes 🤠

but actually 🤔 now that is think about it, if you guys had a pool in your back garden sakusa would definitely make the most of it

you’ll humbly ask him spike for you on a nice sunny day and he’ll be like

‘volleyball? really? we bought this expensive ass house with a pool which we can only use 4 out the 365.25 days of the year and you want to play volleyball? don’t you do that like..every work day.’

what can i say? man likes getting his moneys worth 🤷‍♂️

‘so is that a no to volleyball?’ you’d ask

*cue sakusa picking you up bridal style and dropping you into the pool*

then you play pool volleyball 👍

as for your games, he turns up in casual wear 😔

disappointed but not surprised

you’ll jokingly be like ‘hey! why aren’t you wearing my team colours? how are people gonna know who you’re cheering for?’ which is fair bc you turn up to all his games with his MSBY black jackals jersey with one of those foam pointy fingers with his number on it

MANS WOULD POINT TO HIS FKN WEDDING RING LIKE ‘our team colours right here.’

[petersasteria]

The Life of A Mobster's Wife || Arvin Russell

Russell || Main || Taglist

Mob!Arvin x Reader (Modern AU) Requested? Nah 9,818 words (pls send feedback bc this is the longest mob fic i've done and i want to know if it's alright or if i should just leave the mob au alone sksk) W: asshole!arvin, doesn't follow canon, curse words, killing, cheating, so many fucked up shit

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Being married to a mobster wasn’t easy. Everything has to be kept under wraps whilst having a lavish lifestyle. But when you’re young, you’re naive and you think that everything will work out and you’ll live happily ever after like some Disney fairytale. Everyone seems to forget that Disney princess stories were adapted from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen. You didn’t know that your life would take such a dark turn the moment you met Arvin. The second he smiled at you, you were a goner. You were hooked on him; addicted. Everything should’ve been a red flag and the people around you told you that something about him seemed off. That should have alarmed you, but you took what they said personally. One by one, they all left you and only Arvin was left by your side. That should have been a sign too.

You told yourself that you’d be happy and you were. You were together for six months and then you got married. Now, six years later, you have a son who just turned six and a husband who doesn’t even sleep in the same bed as you anymore. You didn’t know what went wrong, but everything suddenly changed.

Arvin made sure you and your son were away from him, so he bought a big apartment in the Upper East Side for both of you. Arvin would stay there sometimes, but most of the time, he was working; killing, kidnapping people for ransom, selling weapons, selling drugs, etc. He wanted you away from those especially, Hayden; your son.

You wanted for things to change because Hayden hardly ever sees Arvin and they don’t have a connection. You also wanted another baby and you felt like Arvin was too busy for that. Wanting to focus on your husband, you decided it was best to hire a nanny to attend to your son’s needs. However, it was difficult to look for a nanny when you’re keeping everything a secret. You were lucky enough to hire a personal doctor.

Amelia Avery Hudson is a trauma surgeon, but you hired her as your personal doctor to treat your husband and his men if they have wounds. The other doctors you asked turned down your offer. When you asked Amelia, she immediately agreed. Amelia didn’t really have a choice. She applied because she needed to pay her student loans back. Plus, she needed to keep a roof over her head and rent was expensive in New York. She’s a fresh graduate and she had trouble finding a job that fitted her career path. Your offer was perfect and she saw it just in time. She hoped that no one took the job yet and luck was on her side because she’s been your personal doctor ever since.

Amelia’s only there during the evening from 7PM until 12 midnight. Having signed an NDA, she had no one to tell about the things she’s seen. She knew that if she even tried, Arvin would somehow find out and kill her with no mercy. She didn’t want to risk it.

Amelia’s feisty, but she was nice. The poor girl had a terrible life. She kept moving from one foster home to another when she was younger. Because of that, she grew up strong. She’s a remarkable woman and you were glad that you met her. You weren’t close, but you had a good relationship with her. Sometimes, she’d entertain Hayden which meant a lot to you.

You put up a poster for the nanny position and a few applicants were interested. You looked through their resumes and interviewed them one by one. Out of everyone, only one person stood out. Her name was Celeste.

“Tell me more about yourself, Celeste.” You smiled at her. You didn’t feel comfortable interviewing people in your apartment, so you always made sure the interviewees met you in your favorite restaurant in the upper east side.

“I-I’m Celeste Regina Dela Cruz. Eighteen years old. Um-”

“I know those things.” You laughed. “It’s on your resume. Just loosen up and tell me about yourself. Would it make you more comfortable if I went first?”

Celeste nodded, clearly intimidated. You smiled and said, “I’m Y/N Russell and I never finished college because I got married. I dropped out and left everything behind to be with my husband. I was also pregnant when we got married, so we never really had a decent alone time. I volunteer a lot for my son’s school and I make sure that my son has everything. Right now, he’s on a waiting list for multiple colleges.”

“Wait, how old is he?”

“He’s 6 years old.” You said before taking a sip of water. “It’s nice to be prepared, though. At least we know that he has a slot when the time comes.”

Celeste nodded and you motioned for her to start talking about herself. She widened her eyes and opened her mouth to talk, but the waiter arrived with your food. You both thanked the waiter and began eating.

“Please continue, Celeste.” You said as you took a bite of your food.

“I’m Celeste and I’m from the Philippines.” She said. “No wonder your accent is thick.” You pointed out and nodded for her to continue.

“I was able to come here because my tita- ay sorry- aunt; my aunt brought me here a year ago. I graduated high school, but I can’t go to college yet because my aunt is sick and she’s the one who pays for my schooling. College is very expensive and we can’t afford it anymore because of my aunt’s medicines.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You frowned. You felt bad, truly. Here you were, a college dropout but you’re living a luxurious lifestyle. Of course, that’s all thanks to Arvin. You were just lucky that you married a rich man. But as you sat in front of Celeste, you felt the need to do something nice for her. After all, in your mind, she was hired already.

“Oh, it’s okay.” Celeste smiled. “We’re getting by. My friend told me to apply to you and that’s why I’m here.”

“I understand.” You said as you folded your hands on the table. “When can you start?”

“Ha? What?” Celeste furrowed her eyebrows.

“You’re hired, Celeste.” You chuckled. “When can you start?”

“Um… as soon as possible!” Celeste exclaimed and you nodded.

“Pack your things and I’ll send for Pemberley to pick you up at your home address. I’d just like to confirm that your address on your resume is still your home, yes?” You asked and she nodded quickly.

“Okay. I’ll give it to Pemberley. He’ll pick you up at 9:30AM sharp.” You grinned. You both shook hands and continued eating.

The next day, you welcomed Celeste in your apartment and gave her a tour. She looked amazed at everything and it was entertaining to see. You told her that she wasn’t allowed in the master bedroom unless told and she wasn’t allowed in Arvin’s office.

You looked at your watch and gasped, “Oh, my! I’m late for a meeting. Make yourself at home and don’t forget to pick up Hayden from pre-school at 2:15. I have a note for you in your room. Please read it.” You quickly grabbed your bag and coat and left.

Celeste stood there and made her way to her room. After roaming around for 2 minutes, she finally saw her room and read the note.

Hello, Celeste! These are the rules:

Hayden can’t eat seafood. He is allergic.

No sugar-y or chocolate-y drinks before bed. Only one glass of milk with no sugar.

Sandwiches are not allowed to be eaten in his room because of crumbs.

If Hayden has no classes, you may take him to the park or the museum. As long as there are only a few people.

Stay away from crowded places. I beg.

Give Hayden a bath before bed.

Call me only when severe emergencies happen.

Your laundry schedule is the same as Hayden’s; TTh.

Always bring a small first aid kit in your bag and make sure you have a full container of hand sanitizer AT ALL TIMES.

Keep an eye on Hayden. He is your main priority.

P.S. Have fun! Eat whatever you want and if you need anything, please give Jose your own list before he goes grocery shopping.

Celeste taped the note on the wall next to her bed and started unpacking her things. She looked at her watch and realized that it was time to pick up Hayden from school. She quickly grabbed her small bag and ran to the front door.

Hayden’s school was just around the corner, so it was easy for Celeste to pick him up. There were many nannies waiting for kids to be picked up and Celeste was a bit overwhelmed that her job was actually starting. She never had training or anything.

A few more minutes of waiting, the door opened and out came a plethora of running and screaming children. During the apartment tour you gave her from hours before, she remembered you showing her a family picture that was recently taken. With that in mind, Celeste was able to remember what Hayden looked like.

Celeste looked around and saw a young boy by the steps, looking around. “Hayden!” Celeste shouted, causing the boy to look at her. Celeste walked over and said, “Hayden Russell?”

The boy nodded. She smiled, “I’m your new nanny. My name is Celeste.”

Using his manners, Hayden shook Celeste’s hand. Celeste grinned and took Hayden’s bag from him. She held his hand and they walked home. The walk home was short and quiet, but it was comfortable. When they walked into the fancy apartment building and into the elevator, Hayden spoke up.

“Can I call you ‘Celie’, instead? Like a super agent secret name? It’ll be cool.” Hayden said, causing Celeste to smile at him.

“Sure!” Celeste said.

When they arrived in the apartment unit, you were already home. Hayden ran up to you and you bent down to pick him up and hug him.

“How was school?” You asked as you kissed his forehead.

“It was fun! We learned so many things and we had arts and crafts and we-”

“That’s great, sweetie!” You smiled before putting him down. “You can play sudoku in the living room.”

Hayden made a face, “But I hate sudoku.”

“Yes, but it’ll help you stimulate your brain. Think of it as a mental exercise.” You grinned before softly nudging him to the living room where his sudoku book was waiting for him on the coffee table. Hayden begrudgingly walked to the living room and you turned to Celeste, “We need to talk.”

You turned around and walked to your husband’s office. He wasn’t there anyway and you had the freedom to speak business there. “Follow me.” You said without looking behind you. Celeste was scared shitless. She did the sign of the cross and prayed on her way to Arvin’s office.

“Aba Ginoong Maria, napupuno ka ng grasya, Ang Panginoong Diyos ay sumasaiyo. Bukod kang pinagpala sa babaeng lahat at pinagpala rin naman ang anak mong si Hesus. Santa Maria, Ina ng Diyos, ipanalangin mo kaming makasalanan ngayon at kung kami’y mamamatay. Amen. (Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you amongst women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners. Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.)” Celeste muttered under her breath. You opened the door to Arvin’s office and was immediately met with the darkness due to the closed curtains and lights that were not switched on. The only light present was the sun’s light peeping through the spaces between the curtains. You walked in and Celeste followed suit and closed the door behind her.

You sat on Arvin’s chair and read the papers that you previously laid there on the table. “Please, sit.” You motioned for her to sit in front of you and she did.

“I told you that I had a meeting earlier. I met with important people and we went through your records.” You told Celeste. Celeste knew that she didn’t do anything wrong and that she had a clean record, but that didn’t stop her from worrying.

Was she in trouble for declining her father’s call from the Philippines? Or perhaps she was in trouble for cursing her cousin. She wasn’t sure.

“And I’d like to applaud you for having remarkable and outstanding grades. Straight A’s?! I didn’t know you were smart. You didn’t put in your resume that you were a valedictorian.” You smiled sweetly. You were impressed.

“I didn’t put it because I don’t want to be hired because I’m a valedictorian. I want to be hired because you want me for the job.” Celeste said and you nodded in understanding.

“That’s very humble of you.” You smiled. “Anyway, I submitted your records to multiple colleges and they immediately got back to me.”

You opened the drawer and took out at least ten envelopes from well known universities. You handed the envelopes to her and motioned for her to read each one.

Yale University

Stanford University

Harvard University

New York University

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Cornell University

Brown University

University of California, Los Angeles

University of Pennsylvania

Columbia University

“I want you to look through those and read each one. You also have the freedom to check each university’s website to see what they look and what they offer and if what they’re offering is what you want, tell me.” You told her.

“That’s very nice of you, ma’am.” Celeste said, clearly overwhelmed with what you just told her. “I can’t afford it. It’s too- mahal. Ang mahal po kasi.(expensive. It’s too expensive.)”

You stared at her as she spoke to you in a foreign language. Not just any foreign language, her native language. She quickly realized what she said and said, “The tuition fee is too expensive.”

“You know, for a valedictorian, you’re kind of slow.” You joked. “Sweetie, you don’t have to worry about it because we’ll pay for your tuition fee.”

She gasped and squealed, “Thank you!”. She jumped out of her chair, did a small dance, and went up to hug you which took you by surprise. You smiled brightly and patted her arm as a sign of affection. It felt nice to do something good for once even though your husband does a lot of bad things. Sometimes you think that all the good things you’ve done are payback for all the bad things Arvin has done.

Celeste quickly let go of you and went back to her seat. She cleared her throat and apologized and you waved your hand and said that it was nothing. You debated with yourself on whether you should tell Celeste about your husband’s mob or not. You decided against it and told yourself that you’ll tell her when she asks.

“I’ll enroll you in any university you pick and I’ll make an arrangement that your tasks during the day until you pick up Hayden, are done face to face. Meaning, you’ll physically attend classes at the university of choice. Of course, that only applies here in New York.” You explained.

“Should you choose a university that isn't in New York, you'll be enrolled in online classes." You told her and she nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much!" Celeste said sincerely which made you smile.

"You're welcome. Study well and you can join Hayden in the living room now. I'm sure he's done with his sudoku. He should be reading his French book now." You said as you looked at the time on your phone before standing up. Celeste stood up too and held the letters close to her chest.

"I think my husband is coming home tonight, so we'll eat dinner at his favorite restaurant. Get ready at 6PM. Knowing him, he'll be late." You said and left the office with Celeste following behind. She closed the door and quickly went to the living room to check out the letters.

You went straight to your shared bedroom with Arvin and quickly went to your walk in closet that Arvin built for you. You scanned through the rack for dresses and scanned through multiple shoes to match your dress. You knew it was still 3:30PM, but you liked being prepared.

Your phone rang and you immediately answered it without looking to see who it was. “Hello?” You answered while grabbing a cerulean colored cocktail dress from the rack and holding it against you and checking it in front of a mirror.

“Y/N, honey, it’s me.” Arvin said. His voice was raspy and there’s no doubt that it’s because of his smoking habit. He’s trying to lessen it because according to him, he didn’t want to have cancer and he didn’t want his life cut short. Despite that, he still smoked… less than before. He was really trying. Key word: trying.

“You’re smoking right now, huh?” You asked, already tired of his shit. You loved him so much, but you didn’t have the energy of being his wife anymore. Probably because he doesn’t treat you like one.

“Mind your own business, woman!” Arvin hissed. You knew he didn’t mean it, but it still kind of hurt. “I’m just worried about you and you said that you’ll lessen the smoking.” You said calmly. You didn’t want to fight with him; it’s useless.

“I am. This is my third stick today and it’s late in the afternoon.” Arvin said, pushing his hair back. “Anyway, I called to tell you that I’ll be coming home tonight and I’m sleeping there.”

“Wow, it’s been a while. How long will you stay here?” You asked, hiding your excitement.

“I’m taking 7 days off. Starting tomorrow.” Arvin said. He gathered his things, got up from his seat and walked out of his office. “I’m leaving The Hamptons as we speak.”

“Alright. I’ll be waiting for you.” You said.

“What’re you up to right now, darling?” He asked, exiting the mansion and went straight to the limo. The door was being held open by Jeeves, the chauffeur. Arvin got inside and Jeeves closed the door before quickly getting in and driving.

“I’m picking a dress for tonight. I made reservations because you’re coming home.” You told him and he smiled.

“That’s sweet of you, darling. I’ll text you when I’m almost home, okay?” Arvin said.

“Oh, ok-”

Arvin hung up the phone and you sighed. You put the phone on top of the small chair before picking another dress.

Hours later, you received a text from Arvin saying that he was already around the corner and that he’ll just wait for you in the limo. You quickly finished getting ready and walked out of your room wearing a steel blue dress that you knew Arvin loved. You wore heels that matched it and wore dangling earrings that you wore on your wedding anniversary.

Celeste was wearing a polka-dotted blouse and a skirt that ran until her knees. She was wearing an old pair of Mary Jane’s and her hair was neatly combed. She had a hairpin to clip it back and on her shoulder, was a ‘nanny bag’ that you gave her. Hayden was wearing black pants and a button up that you bought last year. He was wearing black sneakers to match his outfit.

All three of you left the apartment and quickly made your way to the elevator. The elevator ride was short and before you knew it, you were in the lobby. Seeing the limo from afar, Hayden ran towards it causing Celeste to run after him. You walked quickly knowing that Arvin hated waiting.

Hayden opened the limo’s door and went inside to give his father a hug. “I missed you, daddy!” Hayden said with a smile and kissed his cheek. Arvin hugged back tightly and kissed the top of his head.

Arvin loved Hayden. The boy was like a copy of him and Hayden was Arvin’s most prized possession. He was the reason that Arvin worked hard and he was the reason that Arvin is sane. Although he doesn’t mind having more kids, Hayden was more than enough for him and he was content with that.

“I missed you too, buddy!” Arvin smiled widely and sat Hayden on his lap. Hayden started talking about what happened while he was away and Arvin was listening. Celeste went inside the limo and sat across from Arvin causing him to glance at Celeste up and down with furrowed eyebrows. You quickly got in the limo next to Arvin and closed the door. Jeeves asked if everyone was ready and you said yes. Jeeves started driving and he turned the music down a bit.

This caught your attention and you internally groaned. You looked at Arvin and quietly said, “Really? You’re playing this music again?”

Not leaving his gaze on Celeste, he said, “My limo, my music.”

You rolled your eyes and looked out the window. Arvin’s music played through the speakers and you decided to help yourself with a glass of champagne just to get through the night.

“Are you washed? (Are you washed?) In the blood (In the blood) In the soul cleansing blood of the lamb?”

The music filled the quiet limo, Hayden stopped talking a minute ago, finding the scenery more amusing than his own stories. Arvin nudged you and whispered, “Who the hell is the chick?”

“Hayden’s new nanny.” You whispered. “I hired her yesterday. She’s from the Philippines and-”

“You know what? I’ll interview her during dinner.” Arvin cut you off. “I already interviewed her and she’s qualified.” You hissed.

“Really? Doesn’t seem like it.” Arvin said. “I’ll do the talking. You already got to know her and it’s my turn now. I want the best for my son.”

“She’s very intelligent, you know.”

“I don’t give a shit, Y/N.”

“Daddy said a no-no word.” Hayden said, his eyes not leaving the window. “Also, can I get a puppy? Jason’s daddy bought him a new puppy and I want one too.”

“Tomorrow.” Arvin answered. “I’ll pick you up after school and we’ll buy a puppy.”

“Arvin, babe, he’s not responsible enough for a puppy yet.” You told him, but Arvin shrugged you off. He didn’t care what you thought. If his son wants a puppy, he’s getting a puppy.

You arrived at the restaurant and immediately got out of the car. You went down first and Hayden followed after. Arvin glanced at Celeste and motioned for her to get out first and she did. Arvin was last and he closed the door behind him. “Buy yourself some food, Jeeves.” Arvin said as he handed $200 to Jeeves through the driver’s side. “Pick us up when I text you. Don’t be too far, alright?”

“Yes, sir.” Jeeves said before driving off.

You all waited for Arvin and all four of you entered the fancy restaurant. The hostess led you to your table that had a small card that said: ‘Reserved for Mrs. Russell’ in cursive. All four of you sat down and the hostess provided menus for you, Arvin, and Celeste. A kids’ menu was handed to Hayden and he smiled and thanked the hostess. Holding a menu made Hayden feel like a real man. He wanted to be just like his father and that scared you because Hayden doesn’t know about Arvin’s job. Neither did Celeste and you felt sick to your stomach knowing that you brought two innocent people in danger. If things get worse, you’ll fire Celeste and let her go back to her family while you make sure that traces of her are gone. After all, if they find Celeste, she might get killed. Chances are, her family gets killed too. It’s all connected.

Anyway, all Hayden knew was that his father takes down bad guys. To him, Arvin’s a hero. But you knew better. Hayden will find out when he’s older. One day, he’ll understand that not all people who take down bad guys are heroes.

You all ordered and handed the hostess back the menus. Arvin took a sip of his water and cleared his throat before turning his attention to Celeste. “What’s your name, and where are you from?” Arvin asked.

Celeste stared at him in shock, “A-Are you talking to me, sir?”

“Who else would I be talking to? Of course, I’m talking to you.” He scoffed which made you slap his arm lightly. “Introduce yourself to me. We haven’t met and if my wife thinks you’re qualified for this job, it is also my right to see if you’re qualified as well.”

“U-Um, okay. My name is Celeste Regina Dela Cruz and I’m from the Philippines. My aunt brought me here last year. I only graduated high school and-”

“Alright. How did you find out about this job?” Arvin asked.

“My friend told me about it, so I applied.” Celeste said. A waiter came by and poured champagne on yours and Arvin’s glasses while he poured water on Celeste’s and Hayden’s.

Arvin nodded, “Alright. Were you a nanny before this?”

“No, sir.” Celeste answered.

“So, what makes you qualified for this job? Why are you here?” Arvin questioned.

“I’m here because… I want to work and I think that being a nanny is the only way.” Celeste answered and Arvin nodded before turning to you.

“Have you discussed her salary?” He asked and you shook your head. He nodded and turned to Celeste, “Will $100 a day be enough?”

“Yes, sir.” Celeste nodded furiously.

“Alright, then. $100, it is. I’ll give you extra if you’re good.” He said before taking out his phone and kept himself busy. You gave Celeste a tight lipped smile and did the same.

What Arvin said struck a nerve on you. You knew of his affairs and ladies, that’s why you never visited your mansion in The Hamptons. You knew there’d be a plethora of girls who are throwing themselves at your husband. You also knew that he wasn’t faithful and you knew that because he smelled like women’s perfume and sometimes he’d have a smudge of foundation on his white shirt. You stayed with him anyway.

“Thank you, sir.” Celeste said with a small smile. She turned her attention to Hayden and entertained him with stories from back home.

“How was work?” You asked Arvin and he shrugged.

“Nothing special. Rodriguez finally paid back what he owes, so that’s that. Also, dad visited me this morning. He said that he wanted to see Hayden. I told him I’ll think about it.” Arvin said with no emotion.

Arvin’s relationship with his dad, Willard, was rocky. It was no secret that Arvin preferred the company of his mom rather than his dad. Charlotte, Arvin’s mom, was the sweetest lady you’ve ever met. She helped you with your pregnancy and she’s the one who told Arvin to keep you away from the mob things. She didn’t want Hayden to grow up in such a bloody environment. Besides, it wasn’t safe. She’d occasionally visit you and Hayden when she’s not busy.

“How were things while I was gone?” Arvin asked.

“Same old. The only new thing was hiring Celeste.” You told him and he nodded. He moved closer to you and asked in a low voice, “Does she know?”

You shook your head and he nodded, “Good. It should be kept that way.”

“We’ll be paying for her college education.” You said quietly and Arvin’s head quickly turned to you as he glared daggers at you. You paid him no mind as you took a sip of your champagne. “We’ll talk later.” Arvin said sternly.

The waiter arrived with your orders and all four of you began eating in silence. Celeste was too awkward to start a conversation, Hayden didn’t know what to say, Arvin will talk to you later in his office, and you didn’t want to engage in a conversation nor start it.

After that, you ordered desserts. You initially didn’t plan to order any, but Hayden wanted the strawberry cake that he saw at the other table. Therefore, Arvin ordered four slices of that. As Arvin took bites of it, he chuckled which made you look at him through your peripheral vision.

“What’s so funny?” You asked, before eating the cake that was on your fork and chewing it. Arvin shook his head, “Nothing. I just remembered our wedding cake. It was similar to this.”

You smiled at the thought and nodded, “Yeah, they are similar.”

Your complicated marriage with Arvin made you stressed. You didn’t know how to act around him, but he was a great actor. He acted like he wasn’t cheating on you, he acted like he wanted the domesticated life, he acted like everything about his family was normal, and above all, he acted like he was still in love with you.

The truth is, Arvin isn’t in love with you anymore. But he loved you; he still does. He will never stop loving and caring about you. He just doesn’t get the same feelings as he used to. Before, one look at you gave him butterflies in his stomach and the world turned into slow motion. Now, he looks at you and he feels nothing. In his mind, you’re just his wife and the mother of his child. He didn’t know what to do anymore, but he knew he couldn’t leave you. Leaving you would ruin him because he knew you’d take Hayden away from him.

Being unfaithful wasn’t part of his plan, but it just happened. Then it kept happening with different girls and he hated himself every time. He knew that you knew. After all, he wasn’t discreet about it either. Both of you just pretend that nothing’s happening, it’s all swept under the rug and it’s killing you.

After dessert, Arvin texted Jeeves to pick you up as you called a waiter for your bill. After paying, Jeeves was already outside. Celeste got up from her seat and carried Hayden, who was falling asleep already. You and Arvin followed.

The ride home was shorter and quicker. When you arrived in the apartment, Celeste went straight to Hayden’s room with him fast asleep in her arms. Arvin cleared his throat which caught your attention. You looked at him and he nodded his head towards his office. He went there and you trailed behind him.

When he opened the door, he switched on the lights and went straight to his desk. You entered and closed the door. You sat in front of him and waited for him to talk.

“Since when were we paying for someone else’s education?” Arvin asked.

“Since now.” You answered boldly. He bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, “Why?”

“I’ve seen her records. She’s a valedictorian and she deserves to go to college. Her aunt can’t pay for it and I volunteered. It’s a little ‘thank you’ for taking care of Hayden. Taking care of a child isn’t easy.” You explained.

“That’s her job. Her little ‘thank you’ is her salary.” Arvin said with his thick accent.

“She deserves more than that.” You told him. “We have so much money, anyway. Paying for her college education won’t even cause a dent in our bank account. Besides, you told her that if she’s good, you’ll give her extra cash. Now, what do you mean by that?”

You and Arvin stared at each other in silence. The tension was thick. It was obvious that you both have problems that you refused to bring up.

“Let’s go to bed.” Arvin said after a minute. He stood up and you stood up too. Both of you left his office and he turned the lights off. He went straight to your shared bedroom and you went to Hayden’s bedroom. When you peeked inside, Hayden was already asleep and wearing his pajamas. You took off your shoes and walked to his bed. You laid down next to him and hugged him as tears streamed down your face.

Being Arvin’s wife wasn’t easy and it wasn’t like the fantasy you had initially thought. You wanted a happy family, but Arvin doesn’t even lay with you anymore. Your day was tiring and chaotic with a mix of high and low emotions. You knew that it would repeat the next day and you already dreaded it. For now, you’ll just cuddle your 6-year-old son and try to get some sleep.

The next few days consisted of doing your daily tasks. The only difference is, Arvin was home and he joined in various tasks. He accompanied Celeste in picking up Hayden at school and true to his word, Arvin bought Hayden a puppy.

Now, the puppy is part of your daily tasks too. Hayden named his puppy 'Jack' and he loved it. Part of his new daily life, Hayden always made sure that Jack was nearby whenever he did anything whether it be sudoku or reading his French picture books.

Arvin loved Jack too. He even swore to Jack that he'd come home often. You rolled your eyes at that, but chose not to say anything. While you thought that nothing in your marriage will surprise you, you thought wrong. After his 7 days off, Arvin came home every night solely because of Jack and Hayden.

'Perfect.' You thought. 'At least he's coming home every night.'

It was now Sunday which meant that Hayden had horseback riding lessons at the back of your mansion in The Hamptons. Celeste was watching over Hayden with her cheap sunglasses on. The skirt of her dress was slightly lifting up due to the wind. You offered your hat to her, but she declined. She said that she was used to the sun because of the weather in the Philippines.

You and Arvin were in his office looking over Celeste’s university of choice. You were making calls and Arvin was checking out the university’s website on his laptop. You were currently on hold and you grabbed Celeste’s acceptance letter from Arvin’s desk. The envelope was open and you sat down on Arvin’s desk as you took out the letter from the envelope and read it.

Cornell University

Celeste Regina Dela Cruz 2264 Oak Street Manhattan, New York 10021

Dear Celeste Regina:

Congratulations on your acceptance into the College of Engineering at Cornell University! We are very pleased to be welcoming you to this coming academic year.

Very soon, you will receive your official letter of acceptance from us in the mail. We are excited that you will be joining the Cornell community and know that you will make a very positive contribution to the university.

Best regards,

Amanda K. Bishop Associate Vice Provost for Enrollment Cornell University

ENROLL AND DEPOSIT ONLINE: Please retain the URL and PIN provided in the notification email you received, as well as the password you created to view this letter. You will need all three in order to log in again to complete the Enrollment Response Form and submit your enrollment deposit.

You finished reading and before you knew it, you weren’t on hold anymore. You began talking to the person in charge and Arvin glanced at you from time to time while scrolling through Cornell’s website.

“I think she’ll enjoy Cornell, darling.” Arvin said, exiting Cornell’s site and you glanced at him and gave him a thumbs up before turning your attention to the call again. After an hour, you end the call and turn to Arvin.

“They agreed to let her do online classes and occasionally attend classes physically.” You informed him and he nodded.

“Do you think Hayden will get into Cornell? It’s a nice university.” Arvin asked. “I don’t really care where he gets in. I’ll be proud regardless.”

You gave him a small smile and said, “That’s wonderful. Speaking of Hayden, his horseback riding lessons should be done by now. Let’s go.”

You left Arvin’s office and he quickly followed behind you. “Is there something wrong?” He asked and you shook your head, not saying anything.

Days went on that way. You talked to Arvin less and less and he was starting to catch on to that. He also noticed that you don’t sleep next to him anymore and that you always made sure that you weren’t home when he comes home from the mob business.

-

The party was in full swing and the children were having so much fun. Arvin wasn’t a fan of parties, but he decided that it would be nice to have other children around the apartment. Hayden’s friends and classmates played around and the nannies were all huddled in one corner as they watched the children. Some of them even played with Jack.

You were with the parents and you couldn’t find Arvin. It was time for Hayden to blow the candles and you wanted you and Arvin to be there beside him. You looked for him everywhere and you forgot to check his home office. ‘He’s most likely in there.’ You told yourself.

Without knocking, you walked in and gasped when you saw the sight in front of you. The back of Arvin’s chair was facing you, but you didn’t need the chair to fully face you to know what they’re doing. A young woman, in her early 20s, was sitting on Arvin’s lap and you could see her bouncing up and down. Arvin wasn’t even hiding the fact that he was enjoying it. You quickly left and closed the door.

You knew he was cheating on you, but seeing him in action made it so real. You told yourself that you weren’t going to cry, but the tears you held back were freely streaming down your face. You quickly wiped them away and Celeste saw you.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” She asked. She was worried about you. You faked a smile and nodded, “Yeah, I’m alright. I just can’t believe that Hayden is 7 already! Time flies by so fast.”

Celeste nodded and smiled, “Okay. Hayden wants to blow his cake now.”

“Okay. Tell him to get ready.” You told her and she nodded, quickly leaving you alone. You glanced at the door of Arvin’s office and debated on calling Arvin’s attention or not. You decided that you weren’t going to call for him. If he cared about the little family you made, he would have the decency to not cheat on you on your son’s birthday. With that in mind, you held your head high and walked to the kitchen where everyone was waiting. Hayden was sitting on the bar stool while his cake was placed in front of him, on top of the countertop.

You smiled brightly at him and stood next to him. You kissed his cheek and gave him a side hug. “Where’s daddy?” Hayden asked you, looking up at you with innocent eyes.

“He’s busy cheating on mommy, sweetheart.” You wanted to say so bad, but you held back. It wasn’t nice to bring personal problems to parties. Especially your 7-year-old son’s party.

“He’s answering an important call for work, buddy. He’ll catch up later.” You lied. Hayden frowned, but his mood changed when everyone started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ while some took pictures of you two. Celeste lit the candle that was shaped like the number 7. After the song, Hayden closed his eyes and made a wish before blowing his candle. Everyone clapped and you gave everyone a slice of cake.

When everyone was eating, Arvin finally walked out of his office with the young woman with him. He gave her $100 and whispered, “This is for not telling anyone and for spending time with me.” He winked at her and she blushed before quickly walking off to the kid she was watching.

Unbeknownst to them, Celeste saw the whole thing. She looked at you, Hayden, and Arvin and she looked torn. She wanted to tell you, but she was scared of Arvin. She thought that he was sketchy and she didn’t fully trust him. If she doesn't tell you, she’ll feel bad. So she quickly went to her room, called her sister and sat on her bed.

Toni, her sister, answered, “Oh, bakit ka napatawag? (Why did you call?)”

“May chika ako! Tangina, ‘di ko alam kung ano gagawin ko. (I have tea! Fuck, I don’t know what to do.)” Celeste said. She was panicking in her room and she truly didn’t know what to do.

“Ano ‘yon? (What is it?)” Toni asked.

“‘Di ako sigurado pero parang nambababae itong tatay ng alaga ko. Sabihin ko kaya sa asawa niya? (I’m not sure, but I think the dad of the kid I’m taking care of is cheating on his wife. What if I tell his wife?)” Celeste bit her nails nervously. Toni was quiet and said, “Ikaw bahala. Kung sa tingin mong kakainin ka ng konsensya mo, sabihin mo na. Kung kaya mong magkunwari na wala kang alam, edi ‘wag mo sabihin. (It’s up to you. If you think that your conscience will eat you alive, tell her. If you can pretend that you don’t know anything, then don’t say anything.)”

“Kung ikaw nasa pwesto ko, ano gagawin mo? (If you were in my place, what would you do?)”

“Wala. Kunwari wala akong alam. Saka ko na lang sasabihin pag tinanong ako. (Nothing. I’ll pretend that I don’t know anything. I’ll just tell her if she asks me.)” Toni answered.

“Sige. Chat nalang kita mamaya. Kailangan na ako sa labas. (Okay. I’ll chat with you later. I think they need me outside.)”

“Okay, bye!” Toni said before hanging up. Celeste took a deep breath and walked out of her room.

Some people were already leaving and Celeste immediately grabbed a big garbage bag to pick up the paper plates and paper cups that were left behind.

“Where have you been?” You asked Celeste sweetly. She jumped at the sound of your voice which was weird because she wasn’t jumpy.

“I-I went to my room to talk to my sister.” Celeste said. It was true, but she didn’t tell you why. You nodded and said, “Send her my regards.”

Celeste nodded and proceeded to clean up. You walked away and thanked your guests for coming to Hayden’s party. You’ve been avoiding Arvin for hours now and it was like he wanted to talk to you alone. You didn’t want to.

When everything was clean, it was already time for Hayden’s nighttime yoga routine. He quickly went to his room and started getting dressed in his yoga outfit. Celeste went to her room to grab her books, so that she could read while Hayden did his yoga. Jack went with them and Celeste was more than happy to know that the dog was joining them.

It was only you and Arvin in the living room. The tension was thick. You closed the door after the last guest left and Arvin started talking, “Why didn’t you call me when Hayden blew out his candle?”

“Was I supposed to?” You snapped and gave him a death glare which he seemed to return.

“Of course you were supposed to! I’m his dad and I should be there for him!”

“Why weren’t you present for most of the day, then? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when I needed help with Hayden’s gifts? When I needed someone to give drinks to the adults, where were you? You weren’t around, Arvin. You were busy with God knows what!” You raised your voice.

“What are you saying?!” Arvin shouted.

“I’m saying that you’re not there for me and you haven’t been for a long fucking time!” You shouted back. This started a screaming match between the two of you. You didn’t even notice how loud you were shouting.

Hayden stopped doing yoga and looked at Celeste, “What’s going on?” Celeste looked at Hayden while listening closely. She sighed and told him, “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

Celeste walked out of Hayden’s room not knowing that Hayden followed her out. She only realized that Hayden followed her when she heard Hayden shout, “Stop fighting!”

You and Arvin stopped to turn your heads to Hayden who was already crying at the sight of his angry parents. The sight of Hayden crying made you cry too. You walked towards him, but he ran away to hide in his room. He locked the door and Celeste was just standing there awkwardly.

You wiped away your tears and to your surprise, Celeste spoke up. “Ma’am, sir, um, please don’t fight anymore because Hayden will not like it. If you can’t stop fighting each other, do it for Hayden.” Celeste said softly as she looked at both of you.

“Hayden is a very nice kid and he’s very smart and he’s very obedient. He does everything you tell him to do even if he doesn’t like it because he knows that it will make you happy. He doesn’t deserve to have parents that are fighting all the time and he doesn’t deserve a family that has problems. If you have problems, just talk about it. Don’t yell.” Celeste told both of you. She was trying to be a peacemaker and both of you commended her for it. It wasn’t her job to be a peacemaker, but she’s being one right now.

“Sir, I saw you a while ago at the party with a girl and you gave her money. Being unfaithful is not nice. You should be faithful to your wife because she’s doing her best. If you don’t love her anymore, why are you here?” Celeste said. You knew she didn’t mean anything wrong, but Arvin took it the wrong way.

“Excuse me?” Arvin asked, offended. “I’m offended that you had to ask me why I’m here. I’m here because I live here. It’s my money, it’s my apartment, and everything here is from me! So don’t ask me why I’m-”

“She’s right, Arvin.” You said and turned to look at him. “I’m tired of all this fighting and all this pretending. From now on, I’ll sleep in Hayden’s room. If you enjoy sleeping with different women, you’re surely going to enjoy sleeping alone.” You snapped before leaving the living room to go to the bathroom to wash up.

Arvin glared at Celeste angrily and she said, “Sir, I understand if you fire me. It’s fine. I’m sorry for disrespecting you in your house. But before you fire me, think about what I said, sir. Also, think about your son. You can’t take care of him because of your job and your wife can’t take care of him because she’s busy with different things. If you fire me, no one else will look out for Hayden. Thank you for listening, sir.”

Celeste looked down and went to Hayden’s room in hopes that she could coax him into unlocking the door and letting her in.

Arvin sighed in distress and rubbed his face with his hands before going to the master’s bedroom and slamming the door.

-

Arvin didn’t know what happened. All he remembered was going to an event that was attended by his mob allies when all of a sudden, his rival mob attacked them all. A lot of shooting happened and he was sure that his mob friends were killed. He hoped they weren’t.

People were screaming and he heard someone crying at some point. His people were scattered everywhere and he didn’t know if they were alright. He didn’t get out scott-free, though. He got shot on his side and he was shooting his rivals all while trying to get out of the venue to get in the car and go back to his mansion.

When he arrived, Amelia was already on her feet and doing her tasks. She was the only doctor, but she pushed through and it amazed Arvin how Amelia could help them. He admired her and thought that she was strong. Her job isn’t easy, after all.

A few hours of taking out bullets from bodies and declaring one person dead on arrival, Amelia was finally finished with her job. She was in Arvin’s office to get her paycheck while Arvin wrote her salary on a check.

“$20,000” Arvin wrote before handing it to her with a tight-lipped smile. Amelia took the check gratefully.

“Thank you, Mr. Russell.” Amelia smiled before grabbing her bag and leaving. Arvin sighed and leaned back on his chair. He hasn’t been home for a while and Hayden didn’t want to speak with him whenever he called you to talk to Hayden. It broke his heart.

He put a hand on his gun wound and closed his eyes to rest for a while to think about his life. He never really thought that his life would turn out like this, but he knew that someday he’d have to take over the mob. When he took over, that’s when he met you.

In truth, he didn’t know how or what to feel when it comes to you. He’s confused. His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing which made him groan. He opened his eyes, grabbed his phone, and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?” He answered.

“Hello, Russell.” His rival, George, said. Arvin could almost imagine the smug look on George’s face. Arvin gripped his phone tighter, “What do you want? You killed one of my men. Isn’t that enough?”

“Quite frankly, no. I would send my condolences to the deceased family, but I don’t really give a shit. Besides, it would teach you a lesson from stealing from me!”

“For the last time, I didn’t steal from you!” Arvin shouted.

“Your men joined my mob and stole from me!”

“It’s not stealing if they’re getting what’s rightfully ours.” Arvin hissed. “If anything, you stole from me!”

George scoffed, “If you really think that way, fine. Just know that you’ll pay for it.”

“I’m not paying for anything, George.” Arvin chuckled bitterly before pouring himself some scotch with one hand.

“Not even for your family?” George asked. “Wow, that shit��s cold.”

“What’re you talking about?” Arvin asked with furrowed eyebrows as he took a sip of his drink.

“Oh, you’re not informed?” George said sarcastically. “Your wife and son are here with me. If you don’t give me back what you stole from me, I’ll kill them. You know where to find me, Russell.”

George hung up and Arvin yelled in frustration. He sat up and winced because of his wound. He ran a hand through his hair and thought about how he’ll save you and Hayden. Him and his men talked about plans and when they were able to finalize, they wasted no time in going to George’s place.

The plan was going to George and giving him a duffel bag filled with rocks, so that he’ll think it’s the thing he was looking for; the thing he claimed Arvin’s men stole. Arvin decided that it’d be best for his men to ‘give it back’ to George while he and a few guys would look for you and Hayden.

Arvin heard George shouting about everything being fake and he heard gunshots. In a span of a few hours, his mob was shooting people again. He heard Hayden’s familiar cries and followed it while being covered by Javier, one of his men.

When Arvin found the room where George kept you and Hayden, he gasped when he saw you lying in your own blood, unconscious next to a weeping Hayden.

“Daddy!” Hayden cried and it made Arvin’s heart break. He had so many questions running through his mind. How long have you been unconscious? Why are you unconscious? Did they hurt both of you? Where’s Celeste?

Arvin quickly untied Hayden and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around him. “It’s okay, buddy. Everything’ll be okay.” Arvin whispered and kissed the top of Hayden’s head. He lets go of Hayden and knelt beside your body. He untied you and panicked when he saw multiple gun wounds on you. He knew that if you stayed longer, you’d die.

Arvin turned to Hayden and said, “Listen to me, okay? Take care of mommy and don’t go anywhere. Got it?”

Hayden nodded and wiped his tears. “Are you coming back?”

“Of course, I’m coming back.” Arvin reassured him. He stood up and quickly left the room and shot every person from his rival mob. When he saw George, all Arvin saw was red and started beating the shit out of his rival.

George didn’t get a chance to defend himself because Arvin just kept throwing punches and hits. Arvin wanted George dead for bringing his family into their problems. Arvin didn’t care about George’s bloody and bruised state. Arvin pushed George to the ground and whipped out his gun.

“This is for my family.” Arvin panted. He looked at George in the eye and shot his head mercilessly. He looked at his surroundings and saw that almost everyone in George’s mob was dead and the few that were alive, are either unconscious or terribly bruised.

Arvin ran back to the room and picked up Hayden. “I told you I’d be back.” He said as Hayden rested his head on the crook of Arvin’s neck.

Arvin ordered one of his men to carry you and immediately drove to the mansion. Arvin called Amelia and said that he needed her ASAP.

“Mr. Russell, it’s late and it’s not my schedule.” Amelia said groggily. She was already deeply sleeping and Arvin disturbed her greatly.

“I know, I know and I’m sorry. I need you ASAP, Amelia. It’s my wife this time.” Arvin said frantically. They arrived at the mansion and rushed you to the medical room where Amelia was hours before.

Hayden was asleep in Arvin’s arms and he went to his room to let Hayden sleep there comfortably. He hears shuffling around on Amelia’s end as he did his best to tuck Hayden in.

“I’m on my way.” Amelia said.

“Okay, please hurry.” Arvin pleaded before hanging up. He looked at Hayden and smiled a bit at the sight of his son fast asleep. He quietly left the room and rushed to the medical room where you were being kept. He wasn’t a doctor and he didn’t know what to do. Time was running out and for the first time in years, he finally saw you.

He finally realized how important you are in his life. He finally realized that it would hurt him deeply if you were gone. He couldn’t imagine going on with life without you by his side. He didn’t notice Amelia walking in the medical room and he only acknowledged her presence when he was being escorted out of the room by her.

“Wait, no! I want to say, Am-”

“You know you can’t.” Amelia said sternly. “It’s protocol. You can’t be here. Just wait outside.” Amelia pushed the mobster out the room and locked it. The whole time he waited, Arvin was pacing back and forth. He was restless. Who wouldn’t be? If your spouse is undergoing a procedure, you’d want to know about them, right? Arvin had no clue how you were doing.

Three hours later, the door opened and Amelia stepped out of the room. She was clearly tired. Arvin stopped pacing and stared at Amelia who only said, “She’s okay.”

“Thank you.” Arvin sighed in relief as he walked towards the room.

“You don’t need to pay me. Consider it a freebie. I know what it’s like to grow up without a mom at a young age and I don’t want that to happen to Hayden. Take care, sir.” Amelia smiled softly before leaving.

Arvin went into the room and pulled up a chair to sit next to your bed. He held your hand and stared at you. It’s been a long time since he’s seen your face. You were beautiful. You always have been and always will. Seeing you unconscious scared him greatly and it made him realize how much he still loves and cares about you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry this happened to you. I mean it.” Arvin said softly. “I love you. I’m sorry it took me almost losing you to realize that. You don’t know how sorry I am, sweetheart.”

“I can’t imagine the pain you must have felt when Celeste came clean about seeing me and some other girl on Hayden’s birthday. But I know you, Y/N. I know that you’ve always had a feeling that I was unfaithful and I can’t imagine your heartbreak when you found out about it being true.”

“When we first got together, I promised I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I’m sorry for breaking that promise. I’ll be better for you, Y/N. I’ll come home and I’ll stay with you whenever you need me. I’ll be present for Hayden and I don’t want to argue with you anymore. I want us to go back to normal and I know it’ll be hard for you, but I’m willing to try.” Arvin said with hope in his eyes.

“I also know that you’re awake and that you can hear me clearly.” He added as he looked at you. You slowly opened your eyes and looked at him, “I hate that you know me well.”

“I actually love it. It makes me feel like I’m still in touch with you. Lord knows I’d be heartbroken if I can’t read you anymore.” He chuckled lightly before pressing a light kiss on your hand.

“Did you mean what you said? Trying again?” You asked and he nodded. “Then, I’ll try too.”

Being married to a mobster wasn’t easy. Everything has to be kept under wraps whilst having a lavish lifestyle. But when you’re young, you’re naive and you think that everything will work out and you’ll live happily ever after like some Disney fairytale. Everyone seems to forget that Disney princess stories were adapted from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen.

However, some relationships work out and your marriage turns into something better than before. It happened to you and Arvin. He kept his promises and soon, you were blessed with a second child. Celeste was alright and you treated her like a sister you never had. In return for sending her to college, she did well in her studies and made sure to show you her grades which made you proud.

Everything was coming together and you were thankful that things took a nice turn. Your life as a mobster's wife wasn’t so bad, after all.

* * * *

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @cocoamoonmalfoy @parkerpeter24 @slutforsr @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @quxxnxfhxll @bora-world @supred12 @more-like-reyna

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg @emmastarz

[13uswntimagines]

The One Where Lindsey *Accidentally*Breaks the Internet (Lindsey Horan x Medic!Reader)

Request: reader is the medic for the thorns and her and lindsey are secretly together and lindsey accidentally lets it slip one day via instagram or something? and the the fans go crazy bc they’ve already been shipping them since lindsey flirts with R every time she can?

Author’s note: So this was super fun to write and there will totally be a sequel like way far down the road. I hope you enjoy it. I should also mention that the reader has an M.D and is the team doctor for the Thorns and the USWNT. 

Lindsey Horan was a lot of things. A fantastic soccer player. A loving girlfriend and a woman with a bad habit. She was a tease through and through, loving the effect simple actions could have on both you and the fans. And since quarantine, taking cute photos of you had gotten even easier. Though you hadn’t outright admitted to dating, the fans were nearly certain that the two of you were quarantining together. 

Sure they had been suspicious before, with all of your girlfriends flirting during both thorns and national team camp. The middy just couldn’t seem to help herself from distracting you from your medical staff duties, and the fans had noticed. But with Lindsey’s most recent post of you cuddled up with a cup of coffee on her balcony, the Portland skyline in the background, had just about sent them over the edge. It was also the reason for a very excited Somnett’s FaceTime ahead of their scheduled Instagram live. 

“So how had quarantining with Y/n been,” Emily asked with a teasing edge to her voice. Lindsey sighed, rolling her eyes and settling back on the couch of your shared apartment. A wide smile broke across her face at the sight of you set up with all your practice medical stuff at the kitchen table, your glasses perched on your nose, a pen tucked behind your ear. 

“Good, she’s so fucking adorable,” She said breathlessly, ignoring Emily’s loud cackle of amusement. 

“Have you seen the Instagram fans?” Emily asked sobering. 

“Yeah, they’ve been going crazy over photos from like 2 years ago,” Lindsey smirked, thinking of her most recent post, and how you had pulled out a photo of you and her in France to one-up her. 

“I mean, your girl did a post for Horan hump day…” Sonnett said raising an eyebrow. So maybe both of you sucked at subtlety. 

“She also did Tobin Tuesday and Sonnett Sunday,” Lindsey laughed, shaking her head. You may have been on the Medical staff for both the Thorns and the national team, but you minored in photography, and absolutely loved to show your photos off. 

“Yeah, but we’re talking about the picture of baby you two. Don’t act like you don’t love to tease them,”  Emily snickered, and Lindsey winced slightly. So maybe the photo that she had chosen was from college you on your trip to Paris the week you two met, and maybe in return, you had posted one of her just after you both made the national team in your respective fields. 

“I like to tease Y/n, the fans are just a bonus,” Lindsey shrugged, smiling at Emily’s laugh. The two of you were so gooey with your love, hence why the fans were very much onto you. 

“Hey babe, can you come help me for a second?” You called out from the table, glancing over the top of your glasses towards your girlfriend. 

“Duty calls,” She said in a dramatic voice, moving to hang up the phone. 

“Wait, I wanna say hi,” Emily pouted. She knew you could hear her, but she hadn’t actually gotten to see you. You were her best friend and it sucked that she was trapped in Georgia while you and her other best friend got to ham it up together. Lindsey rolled her eyes at the dramatic woman and heaved herself off the couch. 

“What’s up, baby?” She asked, setting the phone down on top of one of the many open textbooks so Emily could see you both and wrapped her arm around your shoulders. You sigh, leaning back into her. 

“Can you hand me that pack of thread?” You hum, pointing with your forceps hand towards a box on the other side of the table. 

“Are you sewing up a chicken?” Emily questioned, her face scrunching in disgust as she took in the scene before her. You were sitting in what the team had deemed your doctor garb (meaning your hair on a bun, glasses perched firmly on your nose, and exams gloves slipped over your hands) with a dismembered chicken in front of you. From the look of the tools on your hands and the half put together chicken, Emily could only assume what you were doing. 

“Yeah, I need to practice so I can do one on the fly,” You mumbled, gesturing where you wanted Lindsey to place the new needle and thread pack and puckering your lips to kiss her in thanks. 

“Didn’t you do that enough in med school?” Emily teased, her eyes shining. It was rare that the team got to see soft interactions like this between the two of you, and frankly how adorable the two of you were was criminal. 

“Hi to you too, Sonnett,” You stuck your tongue out at the woman, finally taking your eyes off your ‘patient’ for the first time. Her cackle brought a smile to your face. 

“I’ll just be in the other room. Sonnett and I are about to go live,” Lindsey miles, smoothing back the hair that had fallen in your eyes and kissing your forehead. 

“Okie Dokie baby” You smiled up at your girlfriend, pursing your lips for a kiss. She obliged with a giggle. “see you soon, I’ll be watching,” you laughed, wiggling your eyebrows. 

“You guys are sickeningly sweet,” Emily made a fake gagging noise that brought your attention back to the offending device. 

“Shut up Disani,” Both you and Lindsey snapped together. You loved the woman, but she sure knew how to ruin a moment. 

*****

“Come on Linessie, you know that I’m the best cook,” Emily snorted, ignoring the interviewers stupid question in favor of bantering with Lindsey. 

“Hey, I’ve gotten way better,” Lindsey huffed, pointing her finger at the blond and refraining from saying that you were most definitely the cook in your relationship. 

“Yet you still let Y/n practice her medical skills on your chicken before she cooks it,” Emily rolled her eyes, her hands gesturing wildly at the mention of her most recent phone call with the two of you. 

The interviewer froze, her eyes widening. She had been fine with Emily and Lindsey going off the rails a little bit and talking more to each other than answering the questions. The fans loved it and the stories they were telling were gold, but she couldn’t sit back and let this admission slip by. It was the only acknowledgment Lindsey had ever made to your living arrangements, and with the recent string of photos, it may have been the break she was waiting for. 

“Wait wait wait, Y/n as in Thorns med staff Y/n, since when were you guys roommates,” The woman interrupted Lindsey midway through her sentence. 

“Since we started dating like 3 years ago,” Your girlfriend shrugged offhandedly, returning to her point about her cooking (or lack thereof) ability, leaving the interviewer and a large majority of the fans to sit in shock. 

Lindsey paused at the loud pinging of the comment section going crazy. She paused, her eyes drifting towards the rapidly moving comments, smirking when she saw some of the comments from her teammates, and the fans crazy nonsensical comments in return. She winked at the camera, loving that she just broke the internet, and biting her lip unsure of what your reaction would be. 

*****

“Nice live stream babe, but I think we need to like to make an official post or something,” You smirked, plopping down in your girlfriend's lap after she ended the stream, poking her dimples, using your thumb to smooth out the worried lines in her forehead. 

“I just came out on live stream, and that’s what you say?” Lindsey scoffed, raising her eyebrow at you. 

“I mean I love you, and I’m happy we don’t have to hide anymore, but like don’t you think we should tell them we’re engaged?” You asked shrugging, pecking her nose with a smile. 

“I think we’ve broken the internet enough for one day,” She rolled her eyes at you, leaning up to peck your lips, tired of your shoty aim. 

“The team is going to be pissed when they find out we didn’t tell them you proposed,” You singsonged, laughing lightly. Sure they had posted enough coupily photos of the two of you to last the fans a while, but when they realized you were getting married, it was going to be a media frenzy. 

“I’m sure they’ll post enough photos to crash the site,” She laughed, wrapping her arm around your waist and pulling you closer. 

“Well, I know a few other things we can break,” You hummed, nudging her chin with your nose and placing a few kisses on the underside of her jaw. 

“Yeah?” She asked, tilting her head to the side to give you more room, moaning lightly when you found the spot you knew drove her wild. 

“Hmm, but you better not share this on fucking Instagram live.” You smirked against her skin, teasingly running your teeth along her pulse point, and placing a very wet kiss there. 

“I think you put the verb in the wrong place in that sentence-”  She breathed out, sighing at the delicious sensations you were sending through her. 

“Shut up and take your pants off. I think I need to practice my exam skills”  You smirked devilishly at her, and suddenly the team and the fans were the last things on her mind, even though she did just technically break the internet.

[lovely-dr-imagines]

Makoto, Leon, Nagito, and Byakuya with an S/O who is obsessed with playing with their hair:

✾ Hello my lovely! Thank you for the request! I’ll try my best on it! :D ✾

✾ Under the Cut! ✾

✾ ahem, just noticed I have no other happy icons for me other than the one holding the camera or the blushing mahiru... 0-0 oh well im lazy so qjiwshudf guess whos not gonna make new ones bc i like the ones i already made :D? Plus I think I have another happy one hidden somewhere in my camera roll ijdfhygf ✾

✾ Makoto Naegi: 

✎ He didn’t notice it at first. 

✎ Yeah I know, that’s stupid, but he really didn’t notice- 

✎ That was until you started twirling his ahoge- 

✎ His face blushed up and he turned around to see you, who looked surprised and taken aback- (AHOGES GUYS, THEY ARE SENSITIVE (opinion))

✎ “...” 

✎ “Sorry...?” 

✎ Overtime the Makoto became more comfortable to your little massages and hair playing. 

✎ One time, you made a tiny braid from his hair like Kyoko’s!

✎ However, again, he doesn’t notice until he walks to go somewhere and someone points out his hair or if he can see his reflection- 

✎ AND NEITHER DO YOU-

✎ Huh?

✎ Yeah you heard me correctly ya know- 

✎ You’ll somehow go to him and started playing with his brown hair. 

✎ Both of you become surprised- 

✎ ANYWAYS- 

✎ He really likes your scalp massages- 

✎ Seriously, like any normal person, he loves it- 

✎ It feels GOOD- 

✎ One day, after your signature message of his scalp, his hair somehow grew-

✎ And he didn’t want to get a haircut- 

✎ Because he knew you would like more hair to play with <3

✎ When the two of you cuddle or even something small like hugging, you twirl his hair around your finger if you can. 

✎ He finds you playing with his hair calming and soothing. 

✎ This egg fell asleep once when you were playing with his hair... 

✎ And literally 10 minutes later, his head dropped to the right unexpectedly (you were watching TV) and your fingers got tangled- 

✎ You have no idea why- 

✎ But I guess he can get that haircut now-

✾ Kiyotaka Ishimaru: 

✎ Unlike Makoto, this stiff man took notice immediately. 

✎ “Y/N? What are you dong?” 

✎ That sure startled you- 

✎ You started prodding at your fingers, trying to think up an answer... 

✎ “Do you find comfort playing with my hair?” 

✎ Wow he got a bulls eye- 

✎ Playing with hair is a common thing for people to do when nervous or anxious (i know from experience, but now that turned into playing with whatever is on my wrist at the moment-)

✎ “Y-yeah...” You answered weakly. 

✎ “THAT’S ABSOLUTELY FINE Y/N! YOU CAN KEEP DOING SO IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER!”

✎ That’s your Taka <3

✎ Although his hair is short, it feels nice to scale your fingers across his hair back and forth, creating a nice sensation against your skin. 

✎ Surprisingly, his hair, being naturally spiky, is actually pretty soft-

✎ He doesn’t mind whenever you touch his hair, he finds it pretty relaxing too. 

✎ Your scalp massages?? He LOVES them. Seriously. 

✎ You think being a hall monitor is EASY? Taka has to deal with bullies and delinquents skipping classes and argues with people who are even just a minute later for class... 

✎ So you can imagine how much stress in on him. 

✎ Maybe he’ll consider growing his hair out for you... 

✎ Or maybe not...

✎ OH GOD THE THOUGHT OF TAKA WITH LONG HAIR KIND OF SCARES ME-

✎ WHY DID I THINK THIS UP I DONT LIKE THAT IDEA, LET ME PERISH THE THOUGHT-

✎ Nah, I think he likes his hair short, no? 

✎ Yeah, just ruffling his short hair is good enough... 

✎ Good enough for him to start developing a habit of playing with your hair when the two of you cuddle, hug, or are juts generally near each other. 

✎ It doesn’t bother either of you- 

✎ Any why would it? 

✎ Both of you enjoy it so what’s the harm? 

✎ If you are waiting for me to say the harm, there really isn’t any-

✾ Leon Kuwata: 

✎ He probably played with your hair first. 

✎ Then you did the same thing- 

✎ Both of you guys couldn’t help it- 

✎ Both of yous have the same thing- 

✎ Leon probably plays with hair when he’s distressed or frustrated, like if he failed an assignment or couldn’t find the confidence to make a band for the first time so he can actually be related to music for the first time. 

✎ You probably play with hair when you are nervous. 

✎ When the two of you started dating, you sat next to each other and started talking about random stuff when Leon unconsciously started playing with your hair- 

✎ That’s how you figured out he was like you- 

✎ Ish?

✎ Idk- 

✎ But he was nervous and/or frustrated at himself for being called a wuss before this little date. 

✎ Now, both of you don’t mind playing with each other’s hair. Like Taka’s headcanons, whenever you and Leon cuddle, hug, or just in near proximity to each other, hair twirling and other doodads will commence- 

✎ Scalp massages don’t really help Leon, but he enjoys them nonetheless. He’ll ask for them if he feels really down or stressed. 

✎ He’ll also give YOU scalp massages if you want them. However, you obviously like playing with his hair better-

✎ Once, Leon jokingly said that he would cut his hair if he find one more tangle in his locks- 

✎ You took it quite seriously though- 

✎ And no tangles would be found the next day, or the next, or the day after that. 

✎ His hair has been conditioned by you 0-0 

✎ HOW YOU DID IT?  

✎ You will play with his hair if it’s the last thing you do. 

✎ The time where both of you play with each other’s hair the most is during studies or homework. 

✎ Both of you would go sit next to another and go focus on your own assignments. 

✎ and the two of yous would eventually go to sleep... 

✎ On each other... 

✎ Hand on each other’s head, entwining the hair in between your fingers. 

✎ When the two of you wake up... 

✎ His hand isn’t tangled in your hair... 

✎ BUT YOUR HAND IS STUCK IN HIS HAIR- 

✎ “I guess we have to cut my hair-”

✎ you started crying immediately- 

✎ LEON FIX THEM-

✾ Nagito Komeada: 

✎ When you first reached for his head, he instinctively spun his head around to face you- 

✎ “S/O? What are you doing? Don’t tell me you were planning on breaking my neck so trash like me won’t exist anymore! Actually, I wouldn’t mind if that’s what you were going to do!” he chuckled with an innocent smile, “But could you tell me what you were planning to do with my head?” 

✎ Well- 

✎ That scared you- 

✎ he has some good reflexes to hear you go up to him- 

✎  but this has got you flustered- 

✎ “U-Uhm... I was gonna play with your hair? It looks fluffy,” you mumbled, though Nagito heard you. 

✎ “Oh... If that’s the problem, I don’t mind. Mess up my hair and do whatever with it! I doubt you would like my hair though!” he giggled again, same low-self esteem as ever <3

✎ As you touched his hair, it was exactly what you expected. 

✎ It was soft and surprisingly silky. 

✎ Since his hair is long you make some pretty nice hairstyles. 

✎ Braids are a must for this man’s hair. 

✎ Not even to mention simple styles, like a ponytail (TOTALLY A REFERENCE TO THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY PICTURE, ABSOLUTELY, I NEED TO MENTION THIS, I CAN’T GET OVER HIS HAIRRR) 

✎ Unlike what the other boys did, Nagito does not play with your hair, no matter how tempting. 

✎ His hands do not deserve to touch your hair- 

✎ Though he may have played with it once... 

✎ Okay maybe twice- 

✎ Though, it was only twice... and on accident- 

✎ His luck did it- 

✎ He swears that it wasn’t him and his own free will- 

✎ It was his luck- 

✎ I mean, he was walking, tripped onto you, and his hand managed to run through your hair-

✎ And then it happened again a few days after- 

✎ Those were the only times- 

✎ Your scalp massages are... difficult- 

✎ Why you may ask? 

✎ His hair is too long- 

✎ And whenever you go into his hair, it somehow gets tangled with you hand. 

✎ I don’t make the rules for his hair- 

✎ It just gets tangled easily- 

✎ But you don’t ever want him to cut it-

✎ Like, ever- 

✎ You’ll manage- 

✎ But, uh oh, another Makoto scenario happens and WHOOPS now he had to get a haircut-

✎ Nagito isn’t happy about it either, just know that- 

✎ He isn’t happy about it because it brought you despair, c’mon now-

✎ He’ll cuddle your though after so you feel better though :D

✎ So... 

✎ Not a total loss :D

✾ Byakuya Togami: 

✎ Honestly, you guys were on national T.V. 

✎ Seriously. You guys were literally on T.V. because of the news anchors rampaging into Hope’s Peak once. 

✎ It was an unlucky day for Byakuya-

✎ His hair was... Not cooperating with him that day.

✎ Not like you cared- 

✎ Okay maybe a little bit- 

✎ ...

✎ It got on your nerves- 

✎ So you literally sat up, got in front of him, not being subtle about it whatsoever, and you said, “Let me fix your hair.”

✎ Nothing else was said. He just... nodded and closed his eyes. 

✎ Granting you this permission, you started stroking his hair and trying to fix it. Taking off his glasses and ruffling his blonde locks a little, you started fixing it. 

✎ Then a bunch of men and women broke down the door- 

✎ You were not expecting that. You flinched and knocked your forehead against Byakuya’s- 

✎ “OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?” Byakuya shouted, obviously oblivious to the multiple cameras on the other side of the room. 

✎ “S-Sorry!” You yelled, backing away from him in a rush, though your couldn’t get far. 

✎ Yes, again- 

✎ Your hands were stuck in his hair. 

✎ Great- 

✎ As Sakura, Aoi, Makoto, and many others such as Leon told the people to get out, you were struggling on how to get your hands out of his lovely golden hair... 

✎ Not as bad now... 

✎ “What are you doing?” He asked, a bit of embarrassment on his face. 

✎ Unconsciously you started giving his head a massage- 

✎ WhOoPs- 

✎ “Oh! Sorry again, I’ll stop-” 

✎ “N-no no... Keep going...” He closed his eyes again as your fingers ran through his hair and pushed against his scalp. 

✎ Would you believe me if I said you two weren’t dating yet in this moment? 

✎ Because you guys weren’t- 

✎ Eventually, your hands got untangled and his gorgeous hair was saved. 

✎ Days after, Byakuya offered you to be his significant other. 

✎ And, duh, you said YES- 

✎ Though he isn’t big on PDA, me makes up for it when he allows you to play with his hair. Just twirling it around your finger makes you happy and your smile? He cannot resist it. 

✎ It was the first cute thing he had ever thought was cute- 

✎ He lets you do those scalp massages all the time, c’mon, he has work to do and he hides all the stress, lets face that fact- 

✎ By the way, tidy up his hair any day. If one strand of hair isn’t the way you like it, you can change it and he won’t get mad. Not in the slightest :D

✎ Byakuya loves how you make hairstyles for him, though he won’t tell. 

✎ But some of them... Can burn. Not his hair, his hair shall not burn, but those hideous designs? Yeah those can burn. 

✎ He’ll still let you do his hair that way if you want though-

Welp! I hope you liked this? It’s kinda short (for all of them of course) but I had no motivation to make this (aka i kinda liked this prompt so i did it, with the leftover of my motivation still in me :’D)

✾ Mod Mahiru ✾

✾ Snap Snap! Remember to Smile! ✾

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...