#but actually a little bit of understanding from a few people wouldn’t have fucking killed them

[elonmuscovado]

okay i can’t sleep and i need to vent so hello tumblr!!!

[frozenjokes]

PUSSY UP CUBFAN‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ cumbo cannibalism win💥💥💥

‘I’ve had an idea! Are you around?’

Cub got Mumbo’s message two days after the three of them brought Mumbo home. Given the length of time, neither he nor Grian was actually waiting in the moth ball anymore; everyone needed to eat and sleep among other obligations, so after day one, the two of them checked in for an hour or so at a time a few times a day. Apparently, Grian was not there now. Cub considered calling him, but from what he could tell from the tone of the message, Mumbo didn’t seem too fussed about being asleep for multiple days. Anxiety gripped Cub at the thought of responding- maybe he should call Grian- but Mumbo didn’t sound upset either, did he? The message was too vague to tell, but if Mumbo was in good spirits and wanted to tell him something, he should go, shouldn’t he? If he called Grian, would Mumbo be willing to say the same things?

Cub steeled himself, responding, ‘I’ll be there in a minute.’ He could call Grian afterwards. So he set off, checking his communicator religiously on the way, but Mumbo only acknowledged him with a smiley face.

Cub didn’t even get to ask if Mumbo was okay before he was grabbed, hauled through the floor of the moth ball and nearly lifted off his feet until Cub thrashed and was let go.

“Cub! I had a thought. I have an idea.”

“I-yeah?” Cub stumbled back a little bit, half because Mumbo had unsteadied him and half because he didn’t particularly want to be touched, but Mumbo wasn’t bothered at all, Cub didn’t even think he noticed.

“I don’t have to hurt anyone, Cub, I don’t have to hurt anyone. I just have to kill them, right? I don’t have to hurt anyone. It’s just easier because I can control it, it’s consistent, but not necessary.” Mumbo was so bright and excited that Cub didn’t want to point out the oxymoron, but he was also entertained, amused maybe, and he did not have to ask Mumbo to continue, “So I was thinking right, people get upset on their own. It happens all the time! A build isn’t working out, spilled water on a redstone project, getting hit with a particularly nasty prank or just being plain upset with each other! I could take that. Truthfully, I don’t know how helpful this would be or if it’d even be close to enough, but I want to try! I think this could work. If I got frequent enough meals like the one you just gave me, I might be able to sustain myself on just that!”

Cub was starting to understand what Grian meant when he was speaking about the happier Mumbo; truly, he was radiant. Still, the content of what Mumbo was saying left Cub gaping.

“This. So you’re- Okay. Two hermits are really upset at each other, right? Hypothetically. They’re really tearing into each other, they are not happy. You want to get between them, break it up, then eat them?”

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t ask. Deescalating would take away from the pain, you know? I would just drop in and kill the two of them instantly.” Mumbo blinked, backpedaling at the look of disbelief on Cub’s face, “I mean, everyone would know! They’d know I’m not human, what I need to do to eat- I wouldn’t start doing this out of nowhere! I’d just be taking advantage of pain while it’s available. Do you not think-”

“Mumbo.” Cub stopped him, and Mumbo looked up, eyes wide and dark and startled, “This is the funniest fucking thing you could chose to do. This is awesome.”

“It- It’s not funny!”

“It is extremely funny. Just imagine it, right? You’re working on a build. You hate it. Everything is going wrong. You are having the absolute worst day. Suddenly you are dead. Just dead. You wake up in bed, extremely confused, then you look outside and there’s Mumbo Jumbo, swallowing your dead body whole. You go huh. Maybe I should take a break. That is hilarious. This is great. Please do this.”

“I-” Mumbo was flustered, waving his hands like this would stop Cub from speaking words, “I was going to! I was going to, but now I don’t know if I should!”

“It’s good! I think it's a great idea! I think it’s even better if you don’t tell people. You should just start doing it. Never address it.”

“I- no! You’re horrible!”

“No, it will be awesome. It would be hilarious. I bet they wouldn’t even care, they’d be so confused. Hey Mumbo, whatcha doing? Why. Why are you doing that? Doc would Lose His Mind. In fairness I think that would be particularly terrifying for him. That’s a whole- I- creeper? Goat? Big. Lots of limbs. That can’t feel good, swallowing something that big. Does it hurt? It looks like it hurts.”

“It- I probably wouldn’t- no, it doesn’t hurt, it’s just efficient most of the time. I don’t know what it looks like either, but-“

“You don’t know? It’s horrific! I have to show you.”

“Please don’t.”

“I just can’t believe it doesn’t hurt. Grian said you eat cows-“ and then before the mortified Mumbo could interrupt, “He knows everything by the way. Everything everything. Partially because he’s a pest and partially because he was there when I told Scar after you-“ Cub remembered suddenly, then shrunk in on himself, “I- I’m really sorry about that- just the whole debacle.”

Mumbo removed his head from where he had buried them in his hands, confusion gently furrowing his brow, “You left that note, didn’t you.. I couldn’t think what you were referring to.”

“You- Seriously? The whole last bit of our conversation?”

“What did you say?” Mumbo cocked his head, so genuine, but Cub still could not shake the feeling he was being majorly fucked with, though luckily, Mumbo filled the short silence on his own, “I.. Well, I remember most of it, and I’m sorry I kinda threw all that on you I guess. I wasn’t well, and I think you know. And I know you didn’t want to be there because I.. you know. And you kept working yourself up, and you weren’t speaking super clearly and I wasn’t paying much attention because the- it’s not a smell, fear isn’t a smell, but I don’t know how else to describe it to you. It was distracting, is all.”

Ah. Hm. Yeah. Mumbo was too busy salivating over him to realize what was working Cub up in the first place. That. Okay. On the one hand, he wasn’t sure how much he loved the idea that most of his friends took great pleasure in his discomfort. On the other hand. Cub had been so appetizing that Mumbo couldn’t think straight enough to hear about how that exact thing made his brain short circuit. Mhm. Yeah. Cub had normal feelings about that.

“Was it not okay?” Mumbo cut through Cub’s thoughts, suddenly distressed, “I thought- You were just so adamant about being eaten, but I didn’t ask and I really should have, I just-“

“No, it’s fine, perfectly fine, you don’t have to ask. I was just thinking.”

“Oh!” Mumbo blinked, then nodded, like this made perfect sense, “You think slow, I forgot.”

Cub snorted, laughing despite himself, “If you say so.”

“Well.. What did you say, then? What did I miss?” Mumbo asked, and while Cub probably should have seen this coming, while he wanted a second chance, he wasn’t expecting this to go down right now like the first chance hadn’t happened. Cub got the sense that Mumbo was seeing straight through him as his face heated up, anxiety prickling under his skin and raising the hair across his arms.

“Well.” Cub breathed, “I may have over exerted myself the day in the labyrinth, so I spent most of the two days after sleeping and-“

“Wait- Days? How long was I asleep?”

Cub blinked. Guess there was no way for him to know, was there. Had he not checked the date? “A little over forty-eight hours. Has this not happened before? Is it not normal for you to sleep like that after a big meal?”

“I- Well sometimes. It’s not uncommon with humans, but otherwise it’s not a frequent occurrence. I always assumed it was just a few hours though, not that I kept track of the time or would have done so if I had the means. I had no idea. Boy, that’s a little disorienting..” Mumbo looked back up to Cub, refocusing, “Sorry- Didn’t mean to interrupt. What was it you were saying?”

“Oh, I forgot.” Saved.

“No, no,” Mumbo furrowed his brow, “Something about you being tired, right? Sleeping a lot? And- and something else?”

Cub pursed his lips. This was his moment. This was it. No backing out. Time to impress. Say something sexy. Something suave. Be cool. Pussy up Cubfan.

“Masturbating.” God damn it.

“Uh,” Mumbo was clearly taken aback, a hand drifting awkwardly to the back of his neck, looking side to side like he was trying not to say something rude. “That’s awesome, mate. I.. I do that too, sometimes.”

“You what!?”

“Ah!” Mumbo startled hard, fright which turned incredulous, “Is this suddenly not a safe space!?”

“You- You think about me?”

“What!? That’s- No! That’s not what we were talking about at all!” Mumbo covered his face, “What- What are we talking about!?”

“I was talking about you!”

“Me what-?”

“You with your hands in my stomach and wrist in your mouth wanting to kill the hell out of me while I jerk it, man, that’s what I’m talking about!” Cub thought he might literally explode, every part of him red and molten under the surface.

“..what?” Mumbo practically squeaked, and it was Cub’s turn to bury his head in his hands. He was half convinced Mumbo would kill him right here and take the meal, or maybe Cub just wanted that, because being dead would be about a thousand times better than standing here like a blithering maniac.

“You said. You don’t do anything but hurt people.” Cub said, though not without a shake to his words, “And I said that isn’t true. Because I. Happen to find those parts of you. Incredibly attractive. And I think. Selfishly. It would be very sad if you never wanted to regroup in the labyrinth. Because I really want to. And while I’m digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself I’m dying to know if the flesh eating part of you also has a sex drive. For science. You don’t have to answer that. But. Yeah. I do think about you. In that way.”

“Oh dear,” Mumbo said, which seemed appropriate. He was normally so pale, it struck Cub how nice he looked with a little flush, though, this was definitely more than a little, “You know, I think I kind of remember that. You saying that. Yes. I think. Yes. I understand now.”

“You can say no.”

“I’m not saying no.”

“Please just say no.”

“You want me to say no?”

“I just want this to end. I suffer so much at my own hand.”

“Well.” Mumbo stopped short, and the two of them were suspended in a thick silence that lasted at least three thousand hours, “I,” and Mumbo continued to pause excruciatingly awkwardly between nearly every word, “tend to not.. I don’t. I’m not the kind of guy that ends things quickly, am I?”

Cub gaped at him. “Did you do that on purpose.”

“Do what?”

“Draw it out. Talk like that. Slowly.”

“Oh, no. I’m just nervous. Unless that’s the smart, hot thing to do, then yes, pun intended or- or whatever.”

“If I think about it hard enough, anything can be sexy.”

“Please do that then,” Mumbo looked genuinely relieved, and something about that was so sickeningly sweet it made Cub’s heart pound in his throat. He was at a loss for words then, though he was thinking an awful lot about Mumbo’s tongue, and maybe he was being a little obvious with his staring, because Mumbo did him a massive favor and let him taste.

The kiss was gentle and sweet, an awful lot like Mumbo himself, or the way he preferred to present himself anyway. Cub had quite a few ideas of his own on how this could go, but he did not chase them, far more interested in what Mumbo wanted this to be. Mumbo’s lips were chapped, likely from two whole days of mouth breathing in bed, but Cub’s were as well, typically in bad shape one way or another; he had a habit of picking he just couldn’t quite shake. But Cub had long retired the notion that a kiss was some angelic, butterflies and rainbows exploding out of your ears experience. It was nice, it was comfortable, and in a world of fast paced high energy bordering on desperate making out, Cub found he had forgotten what a kiss like this could be, that it didn’t have to be anything at all. He liked it. He liked how Mumbo held his hand. He would like very much to do this again.

Mumbo pulled away first, and Cub found himself satisfied, lingering, but only to watch. Mumbo chuckled, looking away, maybe finding Cub too intense, which was fair.

“Was that okay?” Mumbo asked, a little meek, fiddling with his mustache as if he thought it might have gotten in the way.

“I thought it was great.” Cub squeezed Mumbo’s hand, pleased that he hadn’t let go. “Now, I’m not in any kind of rush, but I would like to know what your thoughts on sex are, just so I can set my expectations.”

“Ah,” Mumbo said it in the way that made Cub think he probably should have waited, but he hated that lingering uncertainty between intimate interactions, he just wanted to iron things out now. But Mumbo looked thoughtful, if not a little nervous, “I mean, I don’t know if I’m looking for any commitments right now, but if you’re thinking something more casual, I would be open to a thing like that.” Mumbo stopped himself, amending, “Well- I guess it depends actually. I don’t- I don’t know all of what you’re expecting of me-”

“Casual is good, casual is better,” Cub agreed, “I’m not overly concerned about recreating fantasies, I have a perfectly active imagination to use in my own time.”

“Well what’s the point then?”

Cub snorted, caught off guard, “What do you mean?”

“You’re interested in me physically because of what I am, right? You like that.”

Cub stopped, shifting his weight as he thought how to answer. He hadn’t meant to give Mumbo that impression at all, but yeah, Cub could see how that had happened. “Well sure, but that’s not the only reason. I’m gonna work on wearing you down enough to get back in the labyrinth with me, but that’s not really about sex either, these are just things I do for fun. I have to get you in with Scar as well, or both of us at the same time. We could see who survives the longest, sabotage each other or work together, it would be incredible. I just also happen to think being hunted is sexy. These two things coexist.”

Mumbo grimaced. “I think I might just struggle to understand how being slowly tortured to death is a fun activity for you- for both of you.”

Cub shrugged. “I dunno. Sounds fun. If it’s not fun and you don’t need it for your health then I won’t do it again. But it will be. I can’t wait to try and stop you. You’ve seen Scar, he’s a lunatic. I’m worse. We also already do basically that in the labyrinth like.. all the time. Faster paced for sure, but that’s because we have to be, we know each other too well.”

“Well- I’ll think about it. How’s that?”

“Yes!” Cub pumped his fist. “You’ve made a man very very happy today, Mumbo. Someday soon I will take you home and thank you personally, but not now, because if I don’t call Grian immediately I will not live to see the light of tomorrow. However, you’d better believe I’d love nothing more than to bend you over my finest strap, got it?”

“Grian-? Oh dear, I know he- oh,” Mumbo finished processing, flushing prettily, then covering his hand with his mouth, a gesture that sparked a moment of violent cuteness aggression in Cub that he promptly forced down. “Oh dear.”

“Is that okay with you?” Cub couldn’t help a small chuckle, but the question was genuine.

“I- Yes. Perfectly.”

Incredibly pleased, Cub moved to open his communicator, finding Grian’s contact. He lingered for a moment, mildly disappointed, but called regardless, figuring he’d rather not be caught making out with Mumbo by a furious Grian who had just happened to check in at the wrong time. Cub hardly got two words out before Grian confirmed he was on his way, hanging up promptly. Cub sat down on a chest, sighing contentedly.

“To uh, answer your question..” Mumbo started, and Cub didn’t entirely remember what he was talking about, but was enraptured regardless, “I share most basic tenets of every species whose shape I take. Obviously, there are exceptions and spectrums in every place, though I usually fall somewhere in the middle everywhere. All this to say, I mean.. Yes. I have a sex drive. If I had my way, I would always be hunting, but there are moments of downtime where I share the same kinds of desires of whatever I am. Mice, birds, wolves, people. If I am a social animal, I want to be around others of my kind. If I am a dove, I’d like to find a mate, raise a family. These are passing desires, they fall below the need to eat, but they are still there, so. If things work out for me here on Hermitcraft.. If hunger isn’t so much of an obstacle, which I can’t promise it won’t be.. Well. Make of that what you will.”

Cub stared. He stared for a very long time. “I am making.”

Mumbo laughed, mostly out of concern, but Cub saw amusement there as well. He could live with that. He could very much live with that.

***

Cub’s shoes skidded on the honeycomb floor as he took a sharp turn, and he nearly wrenched his arm out of the socket as he grabbed Scar by the jacket, hauling him in the right direction. The hallway was long, the worst kind of way for it to be when it came to Mumbo; he got confused on too many turns, and if the two of them were smart, they could loop him around and continue without getting caught.

“He’s close-” Scar panted, “Nearly saw me around that last corner,” and indeed, Mumbo was very close, his footsteps louder than the sound of Cub’s and Scar’s combined.

“If we’re fast we can confuse him in the next part of the maze,” Cub tried, but Scar only scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“We are not that fast.

Indeed, just moments before Cub’s lab coat whipped around the next corner, Mumbo screeched, the surefire sign that the two of them had been spotted. No coming back from that. One of them was going down. Cub was in front right now, but Scar was faster, strong enough to shove ahead of him, though when he was alone, tended to lose time by paying less attention and making wrong turns. When Cub and Scar were together like this, Scar usually managed to squeak out alive, and it was no accident that they ended up together most days.

“One day,” Cub breathed, “He’s going to catch me. And it’s going to be in the sexy way.”

Scar snorted despite himself, “Uh huh, yeah, maybe today’s your lucky day?” Cub felt Scar’s breath on his neck, ready to push past Cub in the narrow hall, so Cub reeled around, shoving hard and catching Scar off balance. But Scar had too much momentum, tumbling forward instead of back, managing to catch Cub’s leg in both arms before Cub could slip away. Cub fell nearly flat on his face, unhelped by Scar yanking him backward and using the momentum to help himself to his feet. Dazed, Cub just barely caught Scar’s pant leg as he dashed past, but lost his grip when Mumbo’s weight slammed over him, crushing him flat to the ground. God damn it.

Cub felt Mumbo’s claws in his back, lifting him by the neck of his clothes before Cub could even struggle and whipping him into the opposite wall. His back cracked squarely against the deepslate, and beyond his daze Cub was immediately certain something was Wrong, though he couldn’t exactly place what that was as he crumpled to the floor. He couldn’t sit up. That was something. He couldn’t run either, which was mildly alarming, since he very much would have liked to. Luckily, Mumbo was the gentlemanly sort, lifting Cub into a sitting position when he couldn’t do it himself.

If Cub didn’t know him any better, he’d think Mumbo was angry with him. But no, Mumbo was definitely more irritated. Darn fragile human (-esc) body! So easy to break! Cub had to agree, he would much rather be running right now. He really got an edge up on Scar when they got to the parkour sections, though they rarely got that far. But even at the first one with the trapdoors, if Scar fell enough times, Cub could lose him in the key mazes, then he’d really get ahead.

Cub attempted to commiserate with Mumbo so he knew they were both on the same page here, but instead of actual words, mostly blood dribbled from his lips. Hm. Yeah, he might be dying. Mumbo was not the only person here who was disappointed, that was for sure.

And then Mumbo jerked forward, snatching something affixed at Cub’s belt and tearing it back, oh! He remembered! That was great, he didn’t remember the last two times this was a relevant issue. Mumbo was not gentle with the splash healing, shattering it into Cub’s stomach, which, with the glass, kinda ruined the point, but Cub suspected that was extremely on purpose. Cub heaved a shaky sigh, feeling the life bloom back into his limbs. Still trembling, Cub took the second and last splash healing potion off his belt, smashing it against the ground beside him. He needed it. Mumbo watched him carefully, those beady eyes narrowed in a scrutinous attention.

“What?” Cub mumbled, a hint of a laugh sneaking through despite the great ache that still wracked his back and limbs. Yeesh. If he hit that wall a little harder he might’ve just outright died. “Want some kinda reward?”

Mumbo snorted, animal-like, but he released Cub, getting back to his feet and turning away.

“No, no, wait. One second, I’ve got something for you.” Mumbo stopped, eying him suspiciously. Cub dug at his belt for his third and final potion, speed, one he’d been saving for the second part of the maze, though given he hadn’t made it out of the first section unscathed, he didn’t think he’d be making very good use of it. He threw it weakly, nearly missing, but Mumbo understood when the effect took place.

“Go get that bastard.”

Mumbo might have smiled. Either way, he didn’t have to be told twice. Cub got slowly back to his feet, taking a few deep breaths before he too plunged back into the labyrinth.

[tojiscumdumpster]

CHAPTER SEVEN - TOJI

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

Within the next few minutes, I’ll be dead. I knew this the moment I saw that blue-eyed freak reappear after when I thought I killed him. Fucking sorcerers and their cursed technique bullshit. Maybe I was too confident thinking I would win the second time. I doubted myself at first, but then I calmed down… No. 

 I was just too confident.

 A world like this wasn’t meant for a monkey like me. I was born into a fucked up family that treated me like shit because I didn’t have any cursed technique. The scar on my lip reminds me of it every day. I got over it, though. I accepted this was my faith. I served my purpose, and it was time for me to go.

 Still, I can’t help but wish I made it out alive. That I had a little bit more time. 

 “Nah,” I replied, vaguely. 

 How am I supposed to answer some cliché question like that? 

 Any last words?

 Why would I tell him that? 

 Tell him about the thoughts and images that’s in my head.

 Tell him that I had a wife who I actually saw some good in me. Good enough to get pregnant and raise a kid together. Tch, me? Toji Fushiguro? A husband and father? I never thought I would live to see the day. And of course, it didn’t last long. 

 My wife died because of an incurable sickness. I never felt pain before. Not when I’m standing here with half my body blown off. Not when my family tortured me. But the day she died, I felt pain. I didn’t cry. I just felt empty. Felt like I had no reason to be decent anymore. How was I supposed to raise a kid by myself? 

 She told me I was going to be okay. 

 I wasn’t okay. 

 I’m a fucked a person.

 A fucked up father.

 . . . I was never made to be a fucking dad. Me selling my son to my family is better than what I could’ve done for him. It wouldn’t make any difference if I was or was not in his life because I would never be good enough to be a father. . . A person. . . But I met. . . Her.

 In my final moments, I think of my late wife, my son, and—

“Dad!” Megumi’s deafening voice wakes me up. “It’s almost five. We have to go to the store.”

  What the…

 What the fuck was that? 

 Lately my mind has been clogged with thoughts and what feels like memories I used to have. Could never decipher them, but that dream was probably the clearest I had. 

 Me being on the verge of death (wouldn’t be the first time), apparently being killed by some blue-eyed fuck. Giving Megumi away to the Zen’in Family? Like fucking hell. I would endure the shit they put me through every day for the rest of my life knowing it would keep my kid safe. I just don’t understand these dreams I’ve been having.

 Are they signs? Is my judgment day coming where I would have to atone to my sins? Some bad shit about to happen to me? Megumi? I don’t fucking know. 

 I don’t care for karma. I don’t care for faith, destiny, or any of that manifestation bullshit. But I do believe in purpose, and sometimes I feel like I don’t have any. That there isn’t any.

 I’m a dad. For what? To fail my son. I was a husband, had my flaws but shit, I tried. And for what? To lose her only after being parents together for eight years? It was unexpected. Nature calling, and at the moment, I never hated whatever fucking god above so much because they took her away from me. 

 From me and Megumi.

 Please take care of Megumi.

 It’s like I can hear her lecturing me about all the times I had our kid eating take out or having him walk home alone from school. 

 Take care of Megumi. . . Yeah, I’m trying.

 I have to do better.

 I need to.

 The little purpose I have is left for him.

 “If you can’t go anymore, can you at least give me the money so I can go by my-”

 “No,” I interrupted, clearing my throat. “No, let’s go. Sorry, kid. Your old man was dozing off.”

 Here’s another thing about being a parent. Being around other parents who force small talk while their kids go off and buy shit. Because we’re parents, that means we have to share funny stories and randomly show baby photos to people you don’t even fucking know. Why? I don’t know, but I bet the mom next to me that has been talking my ears out for the past fifteen minutes could tell you.

 Having Megumi as my kid means he’s going to have most, if not some, of my traits. One of them being how much of a loner I am that appreciates his space. After my failed attempt to walk around with the kid to maybe have some father-son bonding, I figured I just stand at a comfortable distance and let him do his own thing. 

 No pressure. I’m on his time. Not the other way around.

 Still, me standing alone was not a fucking invitation to talk to me.

 I respect women. I do, but I’m two seconds away from telling her to fuck off in the nicest way possible. 

 Though, I have a reason why she approached me to begin with. 

 How she’s invading my space, trying her hardest for me to look at her tits. The extra pout she gives her lips while talking to me. How she’s still asking me one off questions, despite my vague one word answers.

 She’s looking to get fucked, but she’s just too shy to say it. 

 Attractive for most part. Probably five-foot-ten, maybe in her late thirties. Strong perfume. Hair drops right below her jaw. 

 Hm, not my type. 

 “So, here’s another photo-”

 “Sorry, why are you showing me these again?” I abruptly asked. 

 “I—” she stumbles over her words, pushing her hair back while giving me a timid smile.

 “Seems like you had other reasons.”

 “Like?”

 I shrug. “To get fucked.” I can tell that my brute honesty throws her off a bit, but she gathers herself. 

 “Are you offering?”

 “No.”

 She’s probably taken back by my response. I wouldn’t know because I casually walked away to the next aisle. 

 Back in Tokyo, I gained attention, but in America? The women here look at me like I’m a fucking piece of meat. Not that I don’t mind, but shit. 

 What would help if they didn’t waste both our time with trivial chit chat and just cut straight to the chase. 

 Anyways. 

 Told the kid I’ll be walking around the store if he needs me, and of course he replies with whatever . Like I should be surprised. 

 He’s my son, after all. 

 Pretty packed for a Tuesday night at the store. Guess all the parents are out buying their kids shit, too. While Megumi is getting his supplies together, figured I could go to the meat section to make dinner tonight. Probably hot pot for the kid and offal for me. 

  Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing this parenting shit right. You know, letting Megumi be by himself to buy things while I roam around. Probably not because I see families throughout the store and they look happy, for the most part. 

 The look on their faces, the light conversations they’re having about who knows what. . . I can tell this is going to be one of those fucking nights for me. 

 Remember there was a point in my life where I was content with the small family I created. My wife. Megumi. Living in the shittiest apartment building back in Tokyo and barely making ends meet. 

 I came from a wealthy family. One of the wealthiest in Japan. I was supposed to be a silver spooned brat that was grateful to be born into money, only later to be beaten and emotionally abused, which eventually left me in the streets. 

 And you know after all the shit those Zen’in fucks put me through regardless of the amount of money I had access to, I’d always choose what I had with my wife and my strained relationship with Megumi. 

 But of course, any good that happens to me is only temporary. Can only imagine how long I have left with Megumi until he turns eighteen and moves far away from me if he decides to go to college. 

 Is it wrong for me to wish my kid would cut me some slack? Probably, but that’s not something I would ever ask him. Though, I can fucking admit that it stings how he addresses me has changed over time. 

 Daddy to Papa, now to Dad. Soon he’ll start being formal and shit by calling me father or even my first name. I guess I should be grateful he’s calling me anything at all. 

 Damn, if I liked alcohol, I would’ve said I need a drink right now. Maybe a few. Being in family settings makes me feel the emotion I hate feeling the most. Vulnerability . 

 It makes me feel weak, like I’m pitying myself. I don’t care for pity. I don't care to say I didn’t deserve to experience trauma. It happened. There’s shit I can do about it. No point for me to keep thinking about it. 

 It’s just hard when your son doesn’t even want to be seen with you in public to go school supply shopping. 

 I need to clear my head. 

 Already worked out twice today, and clearly that’s not working. Maybe some pussy. It’s been a while since I last had sex. Maybe I need…

 Y/N .

 Here I am again thinking about her at the most random fucking times. I said I need her. Would I ever tell her that?  Most likely not. 

 How can I tell a woman that I don’t know that I need her? To be around her and have her bubbly personality overshadow my grumpiness. To stare at her in dead silence and think how fucking pretty she is. How good she smells. How can I tell Y/N that? 

 She’s good company. 

 That’s all she is…

 Soon she’ll see I’m no good. 

  “Miss L /N told me you’ve been doing good in class, kid.”

 Been home with Megumi for about two hours now. School shopping is not fucking cheap, to say the least. My job pays well, but the cost of shit in America is still something I’m trying to adjust to, especially in comparison to Japan. 

 Megumi is the only reason why I haven’t gotten broke yet. 

 “Yeah,” he responds flatly.

 I stuff my mouth with a piece of meat. “Want to talk about it?”

 “Not really.”

 “Alright.”

 There goes that loud silence. 

 I continue, trying to keep conversation. “Food's good?” He nods. “Think you got everything you needed for school?”

 “Yes, Dad.” Annoyance fills his voice, making it very clear that I’m bothering him. 

 “Everything’s okay?” I asked. 

 “Can’t we just eat in silence? Why are you forcing conversation?”

 Oh.

 “Sorry, kid. Just trying-”

 Megumi pushes back his chair, standing up with his plate in his hand. “I’m going to my room. Thanks for dinner.”

 What the fuck am I doing wrong?

 I talk, he’s annoyed with me. I don’t talk, I feel like he’s being neglected again. Not sure if I’m giving Megumi too much space or just enough space, but it’s kind of fucking hard when I don’t how he feels. 

 When you come from an abusive family that doesn't know how to give or receive love, it passes onto you and potentially it’ll pass onto your child. 

 That’s what I’m trying to prevent. 

 I was scared as shit when my wife first told me she was pregnant. I mean, how the fuck was I supposed to be a dad? I don't know what it feels like to have one. But I knew I was going to be okay if I had her by my side.

  I’m a fucked up person. . . A fucked up father. 

 “Fuck, I need to take a walk,” I say to myself. 

 I get up to put the leftovers in the oven so I can finish later. Before I walk out the door, I tell Megumi I’m stepping out for a while and guess what he says? 

 Whatever. 

  Patience, Fushiguro. Patience.

  Be kind to yourself, Toji . That’s what Y/N told me the other day. I have messaged or contacted her at all since I got her number yesterday. Maybe I need to talk to her… see her… just for a little bit. 

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

discussion question #3 — the more we see toji and megumi's relationship, struggles are shown between them. more so, on toji's part. do you think he should continue making small talk or allow megumi to come around whenever he's ready? looks like toji is afraid to let that happen because he doesn't want megumi to feel neglected. thoughts?

[tenebriskukris]

Oshi No Ko Chapter 155 - My Thoughts/Analysis

I never thought that this series would disappoint me more than it did with Chapter 152 but apparently the manga is just shoveling us utter dogshit on our plates now and expects the readers to think it’s the best thing since sliced bread. Let’s just get on with it. Spoilers for Oshi No Ko Chapter 155 below.

And so we open this chapter with Ruby’s POV. Finally we get to see her thoughts on this whole mess. And with double black star eyes too? Considering we see her have white star eyes a few chapters ago I’m Assuming that there isn’t much of a timeskip between the movie being shown to select people and this interview but the manga’s use of timeskips without a clear timeline being placed is just yuck. 

This entire issue wouldn’t be relevant in the first place if the manga didn’t sidestep showing the readers key reveals when they happened chronologically in the first place. Or already have a tendency to have these conversations and key reveals offscreen of all things. 

I’m going to do what I can for Ai. Like jump off a building? I wouldn’t be surprised if that man does something like that after he’s had this worldview shattered into dust. Or does something hasty like go on a murder spree. The worst kind of person to deal with is one that has nothing left to lose—they’re unpredictable. 

Aqua letting him go here is just a huge fucking mistake. He pulled the strings to kill Ai, after all. What’s to say that these events wouldn’t lead him to kill anyone else. Ruby, himself, Literally Anyone Else. It’s plausible that he could lash out at people and cause a whole mess. If someone from the movie dies while it’s being pushed out then it’s going to cause more than enough controversy to get the movie pulled from theaters. Who would want to screen the movie if one of the actors died because of it??? It would be a nightmare of legal issues. 

Your revenge is over now. Interesting. So Aqua’s given up on revenge? Or does he have something more planned? Another case of the series telling us these things without actually showing the progression of events happening to these characters and expecting the readers to just be okay with these logical leaps happening. It’s a trick that’s only useful if a writer doesn’t overuse it, but the way this series is using it as a crutch is just disgraceful. 

Incredible. No decompression. No conversation between the twins about what they just experienced. Just a timeskip back to Miyako. If they don’t talk about what just happened in this chapter I swear to all the gods and deities above—

Well that was a cute interaction between Miyako, Aqua and Ruby. It is also a cheap way to tug at the reader’s heartstrings. This entire scene would hit harder if we actually managed to see Miyako in this pseudo-maternal role more but as it stands now it is nothing more than a toothless attempt to insert her into this arc as a pseudo-mother to the twins. This “newfound” understanding of Aqua’s character for her is also similarly one which has little substance behind it were it not a callback to the earlier chapters of the series. It’s a sad scene, don’t get me wrong, but it’s all style and little substance when one considers that Miyako’s paternal role has been rather lacking throughout the series.

And now we’re back with Ichigo. Wonder if we’ll ever see his interview come up—because that’s still up in the air, apparently. Same with the other interviews, but at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if they were all done offscreen like so many other important bits of the narrative.

Ruby made a choice. And telling Aqua that she’d encountered her father was just done offscreen again. Incredible. Absolutely incredible. Of course. Just offscreen the conversation that Ruby talks to Aqua about forgiving Hikaru—surely something like that isn’t relevant to Ruby’s character arc in the slightest. 

Not the mention that with Ruby’s black star eyes blazing in the start of the chapter—did she really forgive Hikaru or that just Aqua assuming she did? Oh! We don’t know because their entire conversation about Hikaru was offscreened in the first place. At least we know that Ruby knew who Hikaru was this whole time—which was a fact that was very obvious in the first place. 

With Ichigo not wanting to kill Hikaru anymore that’s more or less everyone’s revenge scheme more or less wrapped up. I highly doubt we’ll be getting any more insight on how they made these decisions in the past because it seems like this series is dispensing in quality and good narrative structure in exchange for rushing towards the ending as quickly as possible. I’ll be more than happy to eat my words later down the line if the series is going to give these characters and this story the time it needs to shine but I won’t hold my breath.

Finally we get an Akane appearance. I was starting to think she was killed offscreen. Would not surprise me in the slightest at this point. She got a new haircut!!! Very cute.

If Hikaru is the one behind everything, then some things don’t make sense. Of fucking course! Aqua and Akane both independently figure out that Hikaru and Niino were responsible for Yura—and a bunch more people’s—death! And this realization was also done offscreen again!

And then there’s another thing. I recall somewhere during the Mainstay arc that Aqua said that he knew Goro Amamiya but with Akane reading the script she would easily be able to tell that that was false because Goro died before Aqua was even born. For someone as observant and smart as Akane was she surely would be able to put two and two together and call Aqua out for his bullshit but noooooooooo. We’re just going to pretend that never happened, then. 

What a complete and utter travesty. So the narrative is now pointing at Niino as the final antagonist of the series. A side character who a good chunk of people didn’t even know existed and was first seen in some side material  until she showed up close to the end of the arc. After Hikaru was unceremoniously thrown out of that role without the sufficient narrative payoff after all the buildup. 

I think I have to make an amendment to what I said before on one of my previous chapter reviews. The quality of writing that we’re seeing here isn’t of a college level writing student. That would be giving the writers the credit that they don’t deserve. No, I’ve seen high school level students draft me a more coherent narrative than whatever the fuck was going on in these last few chapters. Amazing.

The editors of this manga must surely be hungover drunk in their seats or held at gunpoint if garbage like this is allowed to get published. Then again, any reader swallowing this slop uncritically deserves media that crashes and burns when it gets to the finish line. The main writer of the series already has a tendency to screw up the final arcs of his manga series so I’m flabbergasted that no one took a step back and bapped these chapters on the head because of how low quality they were. But I digress. 

Ruby changing her black star eyes directly into white star eyes in this chapter is just—why. Every time we see one of the twins change from black to white to black star eyes and back again it was because of some event that touched their life. Now it’s just—they do it whenever, I guess. Whenever the plot demands it with little to no repercussions.

Having Niino as the final antagonist is also incredibly yucky. This isn't a hashtag GirlBoss moment with her being responsible for Ai’s death. Her being the final obstacle for this series to overcome is some horrible social commentary and reeks of misogyny. The final antagonist of the series isn’t a product of the horrible system—some high ranking industry official who was also scarred by the industry and is now in a higher place to also exploit people in the same industry—ala Hikaru. No, the final antagonist is someone who was on the same level as Ai—even lower, really—who had a hand in her death and wants to keep people from reaching the same level as her.

That’s not even getting to the fact that having her as what is essentially the final boss of the series has to be one of the stupidest writing decisions I’ve ever seen in media—about as idiotic as having Kaguya from Naruto appear at the end of that mess of a series. If you told an Oshi No Ko fan when they started the series that the final antagonist of the series would be this random side character that was first shown in a short story they would laugh because of how stupid that twist would be—and yet it fucking happened!

On a slightly more serious note, Nino as the main antagonist fails so supremely for a variety of decisions. The first is buildup. The narrative has been pointing towards Hikaru for the majority of the series and now we’re pivoting to what is essentially a side character taking his place with little to no buildup. The stuff we got from the movie arc is so minor compared to how the narrative was building up towards Hikaru throughout the entirety of the series that pushing her to the main villain role is just cheap at this point.

The second is character. Or rather, her lack thereof. Nino is more of a plot device than a character from what we’ve seen of her already. Her motivation is to keep people from surpassing Ai and—what? That’s basically it. She’s a one note character without anything interesting going on behind those eyeballs with absolutely nothing else to say. At least Hikaru had some backstory and motivation shown—even if it was done in a completely haphazard way.

Let’s examine that point further, shall we? Both in the side story and from what we see in the small bits of her in the manga paint the picture of a woman who was incensed that Ai was more popular than her and now she wants to keep anyone else from rising higher than Ai ever did as we see with her words to Ruby. It’s obvious that she’s going to make some move on Ruby during Kana’s graduation concert or around that time so that’ll be her 

And then there’s her absolute dogshit motivation. Nino had a hand in killing Ai because Ai was more popular than her? I’m sorry, that is a literal skill issue. At the end of the day, the idol industry is still an industry. Those who have more potential or skill than another will obviously be more favored and reach higher. It’s not a slice of the dark side of the idol industry, it’s simple fucking causality. 

It’s the equivalent of an average student in high school that helps a group of students murder the smartest student in school and the only reason she helps them is that the smartest student is better than her academically so she has to die. That’s basically the gist of Nino’s reasons for wanting Ai’s death. It’s petty. It’s entitled. It's downright idiotic. I would even say it was character assassination were it not for the fact that she barely had any character in the first place. 

The third point is what Nino represents as the final antagonist of the series. I spoke before about how having her as the final boss is an incredibly tone-deaf narrative decision for a series that delves into the darkest parts of the industry. The narrative before these couple of chapters was pointing at Hikaru being the main and final antagonist of the series. This high up industry official who was also taken advantage of by the worst of the industry lashed out at Ai after she broke up with him and whose children find revenge on him by telling him that Ai loved him all along. It doesn’t absolve Hikaru’s sins and his hand in killing Ai but sidesteps the issue in favor of casting blame towards his circumstances caused by the industry. The concept sings, fits with the darker side of the industry the manga has been trying to grasp, and tries to wrap up everything in a neat little bow.

Nino has none of that backing. Ai’s last attempts at reconciliation with Nino were unceremoniously denied by her in her short story and she does not grow as a character because of it. She is not built up as a character who was sufficiently ruined by the industry the way Hikaru was or has the justification for her misdeeds. No, the true and final antagonist of the series is a woman who was jealous of Ai for upstaging her and because of that she helped orchestrate her death. This concept does not sing. It does not say anything substantial about the industry so far and does cohere in a way that justifies her being the final obstacle of the series. It’s a bad piece of social commentary and undercuts so much of what the series has been leaning towards for over a hundred and fifty chapters. The real villain of the series isn’t the industry itself, it’s the ones around you who are jealous of your success! Utter dogshit writing.

I can almost hear the complaints now. Niino showed up in the short story! She has tons of character depth there! Here’s a hard truth to swallow: It doesn’t matter. If you have to look at what is essentially supplemental media that not every reader will have read to get the gist of a character as important as the final antagonist of the series then you’ve failed in setting said character up to take the reins of the title of final antagonist. It’s like if you were watching a movie in a theater and this one character shows up during the last ten minutes as the real antagonist with little to no foreshadowing and she has an entire backstory and character that was shown in some supplemental material online that a good 90 percent of people haven’t even seen. That would lead to a box office bomb if I’ve ever seen one. You’d get thrown out of a Hollywood scriptwriter’s room for even proposing something like that! 

In any case, I’m very glad that the reactions of people online are finally turning on the writers for serving the readers this shitshow. With how people were talking about how the last two chapters were so good of all things I was quite surprised that there were still people around swallowing this shitshow on a plate uncritically because it’s more than obvious to my eyes that the manga is already spiraling downwards in terms of quality during these last few chapters.

It’s a shame, really. I wouldn’t still be doing these chapter reviews if I wasn’t invested in the series in the first place. Before the movie arc’s horrible pacing issues and the massive number of timeskips with these recent chapters I still held out hope that the series would give us a satisfying conclusion. Now I wouldn’t even be surprised if the next chapter just timeskipped us again to the graduation concert without dwelling on Nino as a final boss.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

HAVE U READ THE NEW JJK LEAKS

"(ง'̀-'́)ง

MY SWEET FIGHTING ANON, HOW ARE YOU??

I’ve seen a few lil snippets but I’d stopped really keeping up with the leaks. I will say I LOVE that some of you immediately messaged me upon seeing the leaks 🥹😂 it made my morning to see messages in my inbox 💕 (this is my not subtle nudge to everyone that I love hearing from you guys, even if it’s just life updates or random shit. Pls, I get lonely 🥺)

Side note for the other sweet anon who messaged, I can’t answer that ask rn bc of obvious reasons, but I SEE YOU AND THINK OF THIS AS MY RESPONSE TO YOU AS WELL!!! IT MADE ME SO HAPPY INSIDE THAT YOU CALLED ME 'LOVE,' BTW. MY HEART DID A LIL JUMPY. 🥹💕

As for the leaks?

Me @ everyone losing their shit:

Spoilers for JJK 260 and a huge fucking Kiko rant below the cut.

I’ll believe it when it’s really confirmed. From what I saw, it was the last panel and there’s speculation on whether it’s really him or if Sukuna is seeing shit as he dies or any of the crazy possibilities.

That being said, if Gojo really is back, WELCOME BACK, YOU WONDERFUL, TRAUMATIZED BLUE-EYED BEAN OF A MAN. WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH.

And now my rant begins…

I’m on the fence. In all honesty, I think I’d finally accepted his death tbh. Because I remembered something that’s actually really interesting: some of the very best stories have stakes. They have death because it’s unfortunately a part of life. Gojo isn’t the MC of JJK, even though he’s an incredible character and I adore him and I still hate how he went out.

But while I still hate how that played out, I was actually thinking recently about how much credit we really don’t give Akutami. Writing is hard. World-building is hard. And he’s created a universe that’s truly incredible. The countless number of cursed techniques he’s written into the story, the number of characters he’s given depth possible without even meaning to? Genuinely incredible. He’s done something amazing. I had a ‘come to Jesus’ moment of realization that he’s actually an incredible story-teller. The story he’s built in his mind is amazing and I’m so glad he’s decided to share it with us. We’ve questioned him because we didn’t have all the pieces he has, but he’s said time and time again that he has things planned and he’s had things planned since the beginning. The medium he’s using to tell the story necessitates it being a bit choppy because he can’t explain every little thing every single time. There will be holes and gaps and things he reveals over time for the sake of the story he’s planned, and I know I forgot that fact when I was angry and grieving. (I’ve also been just losing my shit lately at how stupid some people are saying Akutami hates anime fans just because he killed Choso off. The number of comments I’ve seen about ‘hot characters aren’t allowed to die’ is just… these characters are more than eye candy. They have a purpose and emotional value in the story, specifically Choso as a big brother figure for Yuuji.) okay, fun lil side rant over lol

I think we forget that this is a shonen manga. Shonen are notorious for killing characters. I think of Hunter x Hunter, which Akutami has said is a big inspiration for him, the Chimera Ant Arc seemingly killed over half the cast. I’ve also seen a lot of anger at Akutami for him saying that he doesn’t care how many characters die as long as it’s a good story, and I think people missed the point because they were angry their favorite character died. But the thing is, he has a point. If the character deaths push the story forward, then it works. Yuuji has clearly had a power up that wouldn’t have happened if Gojo hadn’t died. On top of that, we criticized the month-long time skip, but these big reveals couldn’t have happened without it. So while it felt jarring, and it still doesn’t sit quite right with me, I understand why Akutami’s logic now. Again, I think of Hunter x Hunter’s chimera arc and how Gon had to watch Kite die and then fight his puppet corpse. Talk about traumatizing a fucking twelve year old. And adding to that, Akutami has literally said that this is meant for adults. He’s writing with an adult, predominantly male, audience in mind because that’s been the primary demographic for shonen for decades. So no, he isn’t writing with the female audience, or the young female audience, in mind because that’s not the genre he’s targeting. It just so happens that there’s been a huge surge in American teenagers obsessively consuming Asian media in the past few years and now it’s wildly popular among that demographic.

Basically what I’m saying is that gen z has developed the female counterpart for the fedora-wearing weirdos with waifu pillows in the obsession with hot guys in manga/anime. The difference is that they’re raging about a story following its chosen genre. But this is me generalizing things a lot and it obviously doesn’t apply to the majority of fans. I’m pretty sure a large part of our lil corner here is on the older end of gen z or younger millennial, but I could be wrong. Actually, I’d love to know what that split is 🤔 maybe I’ll do a poll.

ANYWAY, SORRY FOR THE RANT. IT WAS ME WORD-VOMITING TO START THE DAY. I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY OR AFTERNOON OR NIGHT!

[munsoninthedark86]

Country Girl(Eddie Munson x Fem!Country!Reader)

word count: 1.1k

pairings: Eddie Munson x Fem!Country!reader

warnings: bullying, mentions of blood, some swearing, fluffiness

a/n: I cannot tell you how happy I am that you enjoy my content! Thank you so much for requesting!!! I also understand what it is to have an accent that people make fun of me for. This isn't so much Eddie with a country girl, but more of a fic about Eddie defending the cute new girl with a sweet accent. I hope you enjoy! Send in more requests if you'd like!

Your first day at Hawkins’ high was a disaster. You dreaded the fact that you had to move because of your father’s work. It wasn’t fair that you wouldn’t be graduating with your best friends. Instead, you had to graduate with a bunch of strangers. How were you supposed to make any good connections during your senior year? It wasn’t a good first day; no, not one bit.

It didn’t help that everyone stared at you, and lots of people gave you funny looks. You barely could find your way around the school. Nobody wanted to sit with you at lunch. Your classmates would all make fun of your accent too. You tried to conceal it a little bit, but it wasn’t hard for them to tease it out of you. You felt like crying and just running away. It was becoming so fucking tough to even just cope with this being your first day.

But it’s when Jason and his goons come around at the end of the day, that’s when it all hits you. You are different from these kids. They don’t care about you and none of them will.

“Hey there, darlin’.” Jason mocks your accent, and you look down at your feet.

“Leave me alone. I didn’t do anything to anyone.”

His goons laugh, and soon Jason is continuing to mock your accent. You wish you could just disappear. It’s so unfair to have to deal with this. You figured that someone who was of so much importance to this school would try to be nice to the new kid. Tears stung your eyes and you fought back the rage that was building up in your gut. It really kills you inside to know that you’ll never have any more connections.

“Hey, dickhead! Don’t you have anything better to do?” A voice calls from down the hall. You all turn to see who’s calling out.

You weren’t sure if this man was an angel, but all you know is that he saved you. Jason backs off and immediately goes up to the guy in question. You can’t take your eyes off the guy, who has such big hair and big eyes. He eyes you for a moment, then he smirks when Jason comes over to him.

“Ahhh, you two would make a perfect couple. The freak and the country bumpkin.”

“Why don’t you just piss off and go throw your dumb balls? She didn’t do anything to you, and neither did I.”

Jason frowns at the guy’s words. He thinks about it for a moment before deciding that neither of you are worth his time. He calls to his goons and they all walk off. You get up from the bench and decide to leave the school, but your name is being called. You turn to see that it’s the guy who stood up for you.

“What do you want? You want to lay in on me now too?”

He smirks, “Of course not. I want to make sure you’re okay.” He walks over to you and he places his hand on yours. There’s immediately an electric feeling between the two of you.

“I’ll be okay. Thank you.”

“No problem. You’re in a few of my classes, right? I’m Eddie Munson.” His smile was so infectious.

From that moment on, you and Eddie became inseparable. He would take you everywhere in Hawkins and show you the best places to hang out. He even showed you how to play D&D and you became a member of the Hellfire club. But you never expected to fall for Eddie. He had just been a kind soul to stand up for you, but the more you spent time with him, the more you found yourself falling for him.

Today was hard. It reminded you of your first day. You were trying so hard to hold it all together when Jason stopped you in the hall. His goons are all around the two of you, and you wonder if this time Jason will actually hit you. You’re a little scared considering he had been leaving you alone for the most part.

“Look guys, it’s our little country bumpkin. I guess you lost your accent, didn’t you?” His tone is teasing and mean.

“Get bent, Jason! I’m so sick and tired of you!” You shout, pushing him away from you. Jason scowls and soon he’s pressing you up against the wall.

“I’m not done with you. You think just because that freak is your friend that you’re safe. Well you’re not,” Jason explains, his hot breath hitting you in the face. He couldn’t be any closer if he even tried.

“Get off of me!” You cry out, hoping to catch someone’s attention. It’s no use, Jason is going to have his little fun right here.

It’s not long before he’s slamming you harder against the wall, and his hand comes out to slap you. But before it even hits you, you feel the weight of Jason being pulled off of you. His goons are all howling at the scene unfolding before all of you. Eddie is on top of Jason, and he’s laying into him. Your eyes grow wide as you realize that Eddie is beating up Jason just for you. Your heart swells at the bravery.

“Just get lost, Jason. Leave us both the fuck alone!” Eddie finally spits out, his knuckles a little bloody. Jason looks shocked.

“Whatever. You’re both freaks! You deserve each other!”

Jason’s goons help him up, and they all leave. You’re left there, speechless at what’s going on. You never thought that Eddie would hit Jason, but you’re happy he was here to save you once more.

“Hey, you okay?” Eddie asks, and he comes up to you. His hand cups your cheek and he’s inspecting your face.

“He didn’t hit me. I’m okay.”

Eddie smiles so sweetly, “Good. I’m glad. If he would have hit your pretty face, I would have killed him.”

You blush, “Come on, Eddie. It’s no big deal. You know Jason hates me because I’m a country girl. These kids don’t understand me.”

Eddie’s eyes are so filled with different emotions. But you can tell there’s a lot of pain there. He sighs softly before cupping your face and pulling you closer.

“You have no idea how much you mean to me, do you?” You try to protest, but he only quiets you with a simple, sweet kiss.

Your knees feel weak and your mind is swirling with all kinds of thoughts. You swear your heart is about to burst out of your chest. You try to steady yourself, but Eddie wraps an arm around your waist to pull you forward.

“Baby, you drive me crazy.” Eddie breathes when he finally pulls away.

“Don’t tease me like that,”

He chuckles, “I am not teasing you. You drive me crazy, my little cowgirl.”

And with that, Eddie takes your hand in his and he walks you out of the school. It doesn’t matter what happens next, you think to yourself, because you’ll always have Eddie there with you.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I listened to Bridget Christie’s Mortal yesterday (not just because I’ve been listening a lot of Stewart Lee lately and you shouldn’t pick sides in a breakup – I’ve had Mortal in my stuff “to listen to” folder for a while anyway, anyway, sorry for bringing up Stewart Lee in a post about Bridget Christie). It was really, really good.

I’d heard her previous Radio 4 shows last year – Mind the Gap and Utopia, and I’d enjoyed them. They were pretty much just her stand-up shows cut up into shorter episodes, with some extra stuff added around it to make it more like a radio show, but not much of that. And they were good, because he stand-up is very good. It was a way for me to hear a lot of her material that I wouldn’t otherwise hear, so they definitely served a positive purpose, since it was good material and I’m glad I got to hear it. A bit of it was stuff I’ve heard elsewhere – her short spots on the Alternative Comedy Experience TV show, her one DVD (Stand Up for Her, very much recommended), a few other little things. But a lot of it has not been recorded anywhere else (as far as I know), it’s funny, it’s worth listening to for that reason.

But to be honest, I’d rather listen to most of that material in the form of a stand-up show than a radio show, just because stuff that’s written as a stand-up show is going to work better as one of those than when it’s been cut up for a radio format. So her older radio shows were good, as a way to hear her material, but there was nothing particularly radio show-like about them.

Mortal, from 2021, was clearly written to be a radio show. It was cut into four pieces that each had a theme, and each fed into the larger overarching theme, and had some recurring characters and motifs and storylines. It’s not fiction – it’s still basically a vehicle for Bridget Christie’s ruminations. But it coheres in the radio format better than the older ones. In addition to still having her say a lot of interesting and funny stuff. I’m not sure if everything from Mortal would work as well in a live stand-up show, but it works great in a Radio 4 mini-series.

It’s only four episodes, and it packs a lot into those. It makes you think, it subverts expectations at times, it asks a lot of questions and provides an array of potential answers. It makes you laugh in unexpected places, as well as some expected ones. It’s engaging, the time goes fast.

I found some of the stuff discussing the afterlife particularly interesting. Because I know Bridget Christie is or at least was religious, and my view on religious people who are also decent human beings is basically “I respect their beliefs because that’s what we have to do to live in a civilized and decent society and because it’s important to them and respecting other people matters – but it doesn’t just seem fine that they’re all under a mass delusion. It seems a bit weird that we’ve ended up in a world where we have to all respect mass delusion, even though we do have to respect it. It’s a grudging respect on my part, I know that.

I hope I don’t sound too much like an edgy teenager by saying this. I know it’s more complicated than just “those people are stupid”. I have some understanding of it; I used to believe in God, very deeply. Too deeply, enough so it mixed with some of my OCD-like traits (I add the suffix “-like” because I’ve been told as an adult that my childhood OCD diagnosis was incorrect and all those traits are actually the result of autism and not OCD, but the label doesn’t really matter when the traits look the same) and fucked up my brain pretty badly (if your brain is already saying your family will die if you don’t think the right thoughts, going to church every day and learning that God will kill your family if you don’t worship him hard enough is going to exacerbate that). I remember what it was like to believe all that stuff, I remember that it was often scary, but in other ways was deeply comforting and reassuring and secure and all kinds of other good things.

Anyway, the point is that I’m interested, these days, in how people who believe in religious teachings justify and understand it. And Bridget Christie talks honestly in this radio show about complicated things related to life as a religious person, like doubts, questioning your faith, explaining the reasons why you choose to believe. I found it fascinating to hear that from the perspective of someone who’s so smart and introspective and insightful.

And to be clear, it wasn’t all that. There was still humour in it. There was humour in all of it. There were good jokes and fun characters. Everything was woven together nicely the way Radio 4 should be. A lot of it was recorded during lockdown, so there’s stuff about that. But it’s not a main focus, more just background noise. A vague hand-waving explanation for why she was in the strange mental state that created all these thoughts.

Anyway, I recommend it if you want to hear a good radio series. I recommend Minds the Gap and Utopia if you want to hear good stand-up, cut up into separate pieces. Like Mark Watson's radio shows, but with more veneration of the Titans of feminist discourse.

[dubulgeandtaebooty]

Tw vent and death (and a little bit of family business)

I was 10 years old when my brother was fatally killed by gang members. Even 8 years later, I could still vividly recall the while entire event like a videotape. The cries of help, the blood pouring out of his body that would drip all over the floor, the knife that killed him, the laughter of his killers as they run away hoping that they wouldn’t be found, the sound of ambulance coming to take him to the hospital as I told him that I loved him as police officers took me away from him. His last words to me was “Takashi, I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry about me. Go home.”

He died on his way to the hospital at just aged 14. He was sending drugs to Manchester, Liverpool, all over the UK, just to make some ends meet. My dad was abusive to us and our mom and so she turned into an alcoholic and he would leave us for another woman. This would be how we would have food into the table. He would earn some money so he would pay the rent that mom would purposely forget to do so. However, one of those days he was caught and had to go to prison for few months. Because he didn’t do his job, they tracked him down and killed him. I saw it all.

A month after he passed away, my mom went along too. Guess who found her body? Me. I saw her lifeless body in the living room when I came home and remembered shaking her in hopes she would wake up, but she never did. Just seeing her pale body haunts me as well as my brother screaming. I will never get those images out of my head and they’ll be with me for the rest of my life.

I couldn’t even listen to drill music knowing that this is the kind of shit my brother’s killers listen to. Seeing those people in masks and holding some sort of weapon gives me flashbacks and makes me wanna throw up on the spot. I hate seeing people die for the same reason, especially if it’s someone around the same age as my brother. I hate seeing this shit going all over the news. I get terrible anxiety attacks whenever I even think about something as simple as a knife. But what can I do? Every single day, I have to deal with my triggers being around me 24/7. I’m seeing drill music and remixes getting popular on Tiktok, knives are basically everywhere and those films that depict gang violence, they’re everywhere.

This is why I find it so funny that here on Tumblr I’m seeing people in their 20s crying about people using the wrong hashtag when there are serious shit happening in this world such as their family members or friends dying and they have to watch that shit whilst you are able to view the censored version online. Consider yourself privileged. I didn’t get to see a “TW” before my brother died or even saw it pixelated. I saw it raw. I could even hear the squelching sounds of the knife going in and out of him. Trust me, I could hear everything and it’s very uncomfortable for me to sit through this every single fucking day of my life. It was so bad that I even resorted to drugs and taking my own life. Trust me, it fucking sucks. I don’t even wish this upon my worst enemy.

How can you be so lost in your head that you think the internet can help you with your first world problems? Life doesn’t have a trigger warning, it just happened. If god knew that my brother was going to die today, he would just put a “TW” before my day started. It was just a normal day just like any other day. I got out of bed and I did my morning routine. That very day, I went home from my friend’s house and saw him running across the street. I thought he was trying to catch the bus, but I was dead wrong. He was running for his life.

As someone with extreme PTSD, the fanfics in the #ptsdrecovery does affect me. I find it so damn stupid if they do so, especially if they showcase the actual scene of the gang violence in vague detail. However, the only people I could let them off are newbies to this app. I understand how different the app it is to an app like Instagram or something. I do it too when I go on Instagram and I would under tag because I don’t know how their algorithm works. It’s all human error and they could learn not to do it again, but for those that deliberately do it, especially for many years, they piss me the fuck off.

But here’s the thing, Tumblr isn’t your free therapy session. There are full of people with different coping mechanisms and strategies. If Tumblr was to cater only to those who get triggered over fanfictions showing up on recovery tag, then is it even a freedom of speech app? Tell me if that’s fair to ban anyone who has reading or making fanfictions as a coping mechanism just because one person feels entitled to their problems and puts the blame on others. Although it is super frustrating that we have to deal with this, there’s nothing we could do. We could tell people to make another hashtags to be specific which is #ptsdrecoveryfanfics but what would you do if you see one anyways?

See the problem isn’t the users, it’s your mindset. It’s not our responsibility to stop you from getting triggered, it’s you. People are just living their lives the way they do and so they shouldn’t be obligated to follow by your rules only. I mean, do you think I tell my friends not to play drill music when I’m around? Do I tell stores to not sell knives just because I get triggered by it. No. Unfortunately, I have to move on. No matter how hard it is, I do need to continue with my life. Trust me, this is not an easy task. Having to move on like it was a small inconvenience in my life was difficult, which is why I had go to cognitive behavioural therapy, take some meds and so much shit just so I could live my normal life.

Even now, I could still imagine the scene one and on again, and it makes me want to live in the past. It’s not just I want to see him again, I just wished I stayed at my friend’s house for much longer. Maybe if I was there for few more minutes, I would only have the memory of him going to the hospital. If I went back to get my charger for my phone, I wouldn’t be aching to have this image in my head.

But what could I do? It has already happened. This just taught me a valuable lesson. If you are able to watch things with a trigger warning and a blur hiding the horrifying scene, then you’re privileged. There are people dying in wars, most notably, in Ukraine. Families are dying, friends are getting lost, people losing strangers they had met just few hours ago. You could meet someone and not know if this is the last time you’ll see them or not. They don’t get to have their deaths blurred. Sone people would see their loved ones in brutal conditions that their bodies are fully mutated that it doesn’t even look like them anymore. Even if they weren’t there, that image would stay with them for the rest of their lives.

There are SERIOUS things that are happening in this world and the only thing those, mind I tell you, ADULTS harassing literal newbies in this app just because they used the wrong tag for their fanfiction posts. And for them to be so entitled to think that Tumblr is all about them and them only because they’re right and they know everything. NO THE FUCK YOU DON’T. This is a first world problem that YOU’RE dealing with. There are millions of people starving to death because they cannot afford to bring food into their plates. There are women and girls getting raped into this day because there are asshole men that wants to take advantage of them and that pisses me the fuck up seeing the fucked up things they do to these people, and your only problem are people using the wrong tags whether it’s an accident or not?

I’ve fucking seen everything. I watched my parents fight, my brother’s unlawful death, I saw my mother’s lifeless body on the couch at the living room, my dad left me meaning that me and my sisters had to go move with my grandparents. I bullied at school for being Asian, gay and fat. I was once beaten up to the point where I was hospitalised. It happened in 2020 too during the pandemic. Everyone called me “ching-chong” and told me to go back to where I came from. In the pandemic version, they also told me to kill myself. Then, my sister got raped. That got me sick to my stomach seeing how differently she acted. I also saw her get abused by her boyfriend and I had to step in and beat him up. I was stabbed on the arm by the one thing I was scared of, a knife. He happily called me faggot and chink as I was in excruciating pain. I don’t know how I could explain it, but it was not good.

At this point, I had a big hatred towards the world. However, you only have one life and you gotta live it. I could of chose to be chronically online just like the rest of us on Tumblr, or I could continue fighting and living my life. I chose to be in the real world, because once it’s gone, there’s no going back. I have my friends with me and a crush in my class. I chose to live my life because that was the only thing I could do. I don’t like being online as much, but this is why I only go there to protect my friends.

To give you a summary because some Tumblr users are retarded, I agree with said post and I had stated clearly how I felt about fanfictions going into recovery tags. The only thing I said was that I would understand if it was a newbie. If it was someone who casually does it despite knowing that they shouldn’t do that, then they should know what’s coming. Newbies are NEW to this app. They probably came from an app like Instagram. As someone with extreme PTSD, I’ll forgive them, especially if it’s their first time overtagging because they simply didn’t know how this app works. If it’s someone who has been doing it for years and hasn’t changed ever since, then yes I could understand why you can get mad at them. Unless if you’re mentally retarded, everyone should agree with this whether you hate people overtagging or not. No newbies are going to search up “how to tag on tumblr.” It’s just not realistic. What’s really going to happen is that they’re going to overtag or use the wrong tags and if someone can nicely explain it to them that they shouldn’t be tagging like that, then they’ll take it seriously and quit it. They’re human too and they’ll understand it. They aren’t going to listen to a crazy looking blogger screaming in dms because they aren’t going to take it seriously. This is just facts. But also, I feel like the people who are triggered, they kinda have to do their part as well. Like I said earlier, people aren’t obligated to give a trigger warning or help you when you get triggered. If they do however, it’s out of luck. Most people (especially in the real world) doesn’t give a shit about you. You wanna know why? They’re too busy into their own lives that they aren’t going to censor every word you are triggered over just so they could protect your precious feelings. This is life and you have to live by its rules. If you see something triggering, it’s up to you with how you go about it. If I was to see knives, I’ll just use filtered tags or words. Of course, you’ll still gonna see some regardless. This is because you cannot run away from reality. You’ll have to face it one day.

I know for some people it’s hard to digest, so I made an even dumber version of the summary. Crosstagging is bad. However, newbies can be forgiven because they didn’t know. not to. Of course newbies could search on google “how to tag posts” but it’s not realistic. Realistically, they will post and then figure out when someone tells them. If you do, it is better for you to explain it nicely and clearly so they would know for the next time not to overtag. But, if it’s someone who has been in this app for many years and wouldn’t stop, then yes, it is bad and they should be banned. But nonetheless, you need to help yourself too. Go to settings and put filter tags or words so you can hide certain posts you don’t want to see. There are very little things you could do in this situation, which means that you’ll need to face the harsh reality one day that not everything is censored and so you’ll see things that are uncensored.

Sorry for the language. I just had been so stressed lately. I think I’m gonna take a break from using this app.

[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 54

fandoms: dbh, dc, genshin, pjo, tgcf

dbh

Reassembly by esama

Connor isn't supposed to do this. He has a mission to accomplish.

But that's the thing with deviants - they have the capacity to selfishly want things for themselves.

Paint a Pretty Picture by liketolaugh

Connor can't deal with change anymore. He can't deal with stress, can't deal with yelling, or arguments, or accusations or guilt. He can't make friends the way Hank wants him to, can't understand the things Markus asks of him- he can't, he can't, he can't.

Connor was so much better at being a machine than being a deviant.

So he goes back.

goofy by aworus

“Why’d they make you look so goofy,” Hank said, hatred curling his lips into something angry and disgusted. “And give you that weird voice?”

Connor, a machine, had responded promptly and succinctly and with a little bit more sass than strictly dictated by its programming. It was entirely unbothered by the insult.

Connor, a deviant, months later, is bothered.

genshin

someday the dawn will break by starblooms 

(major character death)

The wind sang tales of the returning light.

messed around and got attached to you by cicinmage

(explicit)

Aether without his sister is an Aether without anyone to temper his darkest impulses--without anyone to stop him from killing everything and everyone in sight.

Or, in the case of the defeated eleventh Harbinger: fucking them.

Aether, What Are You Doing? by oh_fudgecakes

With a final wave, Ganyu turns to head back towards Yuehai Pavillion. Just as she begins to ascend the stone steps into the building, however, she hears the distinct sound of a loud splash. She turns around, perplexed, to see Aether standing in one of Yujing Terrace's ornamental ponds.

"Aether?" Ganyu calls, bewildered. "What are you—"

Aether turns around at the sound of her voice.

He is holding a fish in both hands.

Ganyu blinks once, and then twice, but the bizarre sight does not go away. Aether just blinks back at her with an equally puzzled expression.

Ganyu blinks a few more times.

"Aether," she says slowly. "Are you… catching fish with your bare hands?"

...

Aether does video game things while other characters watch with growing bewilderment.

pjo

Stars on the Water by liketolaugh

"I dunno, I just think it would make a lot of things easier for a lot of people," Percy said to Thalia, when she just stared at him. His cheek rested in his hand, a rare pensive look leaving his eyes distant and unfocused. "Mom has Paul now, so it’ll be easier on her if she doesn’t have to worry about me mucking things up. Dad won’t have to keep threatening war every time Zeus gets his toga twisted. The prophecy’s done, so I won’t be bringing it down on Nico. And no one will have to worry about me blowing up another volcano."

pjo x dc

Annabeth and the Nine Step Career Plan by feeling_the_aster_9145

Annabeth Chase does not accept limitations. Everyone knows that. If she wants something, no matter how impossible, she will find a way to make it happen. Though, perhaps she will allow Bruce Wayne and his ridiculous paranoia-induced company restrictions a small portion of the credit.

Actually… now that she thinks about it, the man may have had a point in his worries.

Wayne Technologies does not accept college interns. Annabeth always has a plan B.

tgcf

Some Ghosts Discuss Hua Chengzhu's Dick by ivoryandhorn

“Yes, but…,” a frog-faced fellow in a pot broke in timidly. “I heard some of the who—”

The courtesan raised her fan threateningly.

“—ghosts of negotiable affection—” the frog-faced one hastily corrected, and the courtesan lowered her fan with a sniff, “—saying that he couldn’t—you know—that—”

The pot went flying with but one smack. “Miserable feast for dogs!” the shadows sneered. “As if Hua Chengzhu’s dick wouldn’t be enough to cure impotence that had lasted a thousand years! Do you dare doubt Hua Chengzhu’s prowess in bed?!?!?!”

Beast With Two Backs by VampireFaun

(explicit)

Xie Lian isn’t particularly worried about the progress of his relationship with Hua Cheng. After all, Hua Cheng seems to be fine with just kissing and hugging for now; wouldn't it be weird to ask for something else? Maybe one day they’d do more, when Xie Lian is ready. He wants to be ready.

Then, Xie Lian has a nightmare.

Black Sword Beheads Flower by Pteropoda (SilentP)

The man standing over him has eyes like knives, sharp and cold and black.

“There are no masks allowed in the Ghost Fortress, Heavenly Official,” he says. His voice is polite, but it too contains knives.

Hua Cheng can appreciate that. A blade is a blade is a blade. Sheathed or pressed to one’s neck, it is still just as sharp. There is no use pretending it is anything otherwise.

The man in front of him is a blade held up to Hua Cheng’s heart, though perhaps he does not know it yet.

[imagineimpact]

Could i request Diluc angst oneshot where reader and him get into a big disagreement or argument where Diluc makes them cry and feel really bad about themself so they go and end up hanging out with Kaeya a bit much cause he offered to cheer reader up and Diluc won't apologize. until he see's his s/o hanging out with Kaeya

I actually wrote 2 different versions of the ending for this, but this is the one I decided to go with! If you want the more angsty version do let me know.

Anyway,

Harsh Words

Diluc x Reader

Screaming. Yelling that could be heard throughout the Dawn Winery residence late into the night, heard only by the maids, the night security, and perhaps a late worker or two.

And of course, by the two individuals who held the voices.

It was rather unusual for the two of you to be at odds; and, on the occasion in which you were, it wasn’t nearly to this degree.

But the two of you were outright screaming at each other. It wasn’t even about one thing anymore - it was everything. Whatever you had been arguing about had reached the point of irrelevance; It never should have reached this point and you knew that, but you were under fire and you couldn’t stop.

All you knew was that this was Diluc’s fault, and that you couldn’t take this kind of argument.

“If you just thought about your actions for once-”

You cut him off, “Oh don’t try me with that, you’re the one treating me like I’m an idiot and trying to control my-”

“If you had just listened for once and been less of a selfish bitch then I wouldn’t have to!”

His words had cut far deeper than either of you had expected, and you physically recoiled at the words, a sudden wave washing over you which forced tears from your eyes. The truth in his words was irrelevant - It felt true, even if it wasn’t.

You turn away from him. In spite of your state, he makes no move toward you. None, not even to give you the slightest feel of any comfort. You knew - he wanted the words to cut through you.

You go to the door and slip on your shoes, leaving the room as fast as you humanly could.

You can’t take this anymore.

But you don’t make it past the front door. As if by telepathy, Diluc has two of his night security waiting by the door in a stance showing you that they’re ready to make sure you don’t leave. They block your path, silent in their menace. When you turn around, only then do you notice Adelinde and Hille quietly staring at you. Diluc’s footsteps down the stairs are a slow horror, an even pace which served to only emphasize that feeling of dread; Very easily, this felt like the perfect time to be murdered.

The drawl of footsteps approach, yet cease a few meters away - he’s far too distant to do anything himself. His eyes lock on yours, quietly assessing you.

“Diluc, let me leave.” You hiss through streaming tears. You nearly choke on the tension in the air.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment. His eyes don’t show any expression, show any remorse or guilt, or even happiness. Truly, there is nothing in his eyes.

“Let me make myself clear: You are not leaving this premises in the middle of the night. Do you understand me?”

“Not even slightly.”

Silence. His eyes flicker, the way they do when he sees an abyss mage, or when Kaeya makes a comment that goes a little too far - pure anger.

“Adelinde, fix up the guest room.”

“No need. I’ll be leaving now.” You scoff.

Diluc tilts his head, peering over you and towards his security as if to say ‘don’t you fucking dare let them through’.

Then another look, and you feel yourself being pushed into the house again, the slam of the doors behind you.

A wave of anger washes over you, and you can’t help the excess of tears that fall, harder now than they had been before.

Diluc holds his ground, staring at you silently. You shake your head and look away, not sure what to do with yourself. Their staring puts you in pure disarray.

“Adelinde.”

“Yes, sorry.” She mutters, bowing and taking her leave in the direction of the guest bedroom in order to prepare it for you.

When she’s gone, you shake your head. “I’m not going to be sleeping.”

“Then stay in your room. I don’t care.” He huffs, turning away and wandering back up the stairs, his footsteps seeming less menacing now.

The argument was done.

Your eyes catch a light outside the window, seeming to exist a far distance away. Maybe it was the fire of a hilichurl camp.

What time was it? Surely the sun would be up soon anyway.

Fine. You would leave then, no matter what.

When you got to your room, you actually did manage to sleep. Not nearly enough; An hour was nothing in the long run, but it was still just slightly enough to not feel entirely exhausted.

Still, the sun was up when you arose, and you lay in the bed, uncertain as to what would happen when you left the room.

If Diluc wasn’t going to apologise, you wanted nothing to do with him.

So, after a little while of resting, it was a surprise to hear a knock at the door. You were summoned to breakfast. Nearly the entire time, you and Diluc sat across from each other - an oddity indeed considering he would always insist that he wanted you seated beside him - this time, however, you were as far from his as possible within the confines of the seated table. The usually empty seat felt hard beneath you, not softened by an everyday presence. Your usual seat to his right - where your plate had been placed before you had taken it to where you were now - was empty.

Neither of you could look into each other’s eyes. The silence, broken only by the light clinks of cutlery, felt burdenous.

You expected him to say something, anything really. You could barely eat the food on your breakfast plate, and without any words, you didn’t feel all too comfortable anyway. You let out a quiet sigh and stood up, tucking in your chair and lifting your plate to take it back to the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” Diluc’s voice was quiet but the harshness in it was unmistakable.

“I’m not hungry.” You looked down at the plate in your hands. “I’m going to Mondstadt.”

Diluc stood up suddenly, pushing back his chair and stepping close to you. The sudden movement caused you to shutter slightly, and he pulled back a bit. Still, he tore the plate from your hands and placed it on the table. “When you return, be ready to have a serious conversation.”

Oh.

You opened your mouth to speak, but then huffed and turned away. “Right. I’ll look forward to getting yelled at again.”

Diluc scoffed, “Stop acting like a petulant child.”

“I’m not doing this right now, Diluc.” Your feet are moving before you can even think about it. This time, as you approached the door, no one was there to stop you. You left with no present company to watch over you, and you knew that today was going to be a long, long day.

——

Mondstadt thrives with life, as per usual. Because of how bright and pleasant the place is, any spec of gloom is extremely obvious on a day like this.

You took to the adventurers guild to take some commissions. Maybe killing some hilichurls or slimes would take your mind off of it all, or maybe just delivering some needed materials to someone.

The entire time you had been speaking to Katheryn, you felt eyes watching you, but you didn’t want to make it obvious you knew. Alas, it was only moments later that you startled at the feeling of a hand on your shoulder.

“No need to be so surprised.” The familiar voice chuckles beside you.

“Good morning, Kaeya.” You let out a soft sigh, the exhaustion of the day before wearing into you. You thanked Katheryn and turned your attention to Kaeya. His eyebrows twitched and his expression shifted as he studied you.

“What happened?” He asks rather blatantly, eyes clouding over. “Was it Diluc?”

You took a deep breath. “Wanna join me for commissions?”

Kaeya scans your eyes. “As long as you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Come on.” You nod, wandering out of Mondstadt with him.

The slowly falling night brought you back to Mondstadt. You agreed to go to the tavern with Kaeya, a subtle kind of thank you for spending time with you today. It wasn’t like you were doing anything else anyway.

The tavern was already busy before you got there, people crowding around for a nights drink. You subconsciously step towards Kaeya as if shading yourself away from the crowded atmosphere and he is wary of your proximity. He draws you to his side, a friendly notion, and steps inside before you.

Charles waves at you both from behind the counter. Kaeya quickly orders a round of drinks and takes you to a table away from the bar.

“Hey, look who’s been dragged in.” Rosaria wanders over, quietly making soft chatter with you. It wasn’t unusual for the two of you to spend some time together.

Kaeya eventually wanders away, grabbing your drinks and bringing them back over.

Time seemed to dwindle away, the mindless chatter with your friends giving you more than ample distraction from anything else that might have been happening.

“Master Diluc! Didn’t expect to see you here today.” Charles’ voice rings out.

Of course, that wasn’t going to last long.

You lift your head slightly, tensing up. Diluc is scanning the room, twisting his wrist lightly as he speaks quietly to Charles; The words miss you. You freeze as your eyes lock. For just a moment you’re caught in that discerning gaze before he nods at you and turns back to talk to Charles. Kaeya draws your attention back away, and you slip back into your conversation, not wanting to deal with anything else.

“I’ll get another round.” Rosaria gets up and makes her way through the tavern, leaning over the bar and making another order for the table.

“How many are we on?” You ask, already flushed from the… how many glasses had you even had?

“Five.” Kaeya laughs, leaning on your shoulder. “But now that the killjoy’s here, he’ll stop us from having our well-earned fun.”

“I heard that.” Diluc scoffed, passing by you.

“Good.” Kaeya wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer to him, more out of a delicate affection than anything else. Diluc’s eyes narrow at his brother, who just laughs in response.

“Get your hands off of-“

“Oh don’t worry, brother. I would never keep them somewhere they don’t want to be.” Kaeya mocks. “You, on the other hand, can’t say the same.” Even with his words, he loosens his hold on you and leans back a bit.

Rosaria returns with your round, greeting Diluc casually as she slips back into her seat. Your pissed off boyfriend wanders away back to his work.

It clicks in your hazy mind that the only reason he’s here is likely because you are. You laugh at the thought, then clink your tankard to the group and drink.

—

As the evening wears down, many people in the bar until it’s pretty much only your group and a few others left there. Diluc lets out a soft sigh as he watches you, trying to soften that jealous pounding of his heart. He takes a sip of his own drink - apple cider, of course. He could never slam back drinks the way that your group currently were. Where had the hours gone?

Oh, no. How many drinks had you had? Whatever was next, he swore to himself that he would make sure that it was watered down. At this rate, you were pretty much welcoming alcohol poisoning with open arms.

Kaeya, wobbly as ever, decides to be the one to approach the bar this time (mostly because Rosaria was leaning against the table, head folded into her arms as she groaned). Diluc shook his head. “No, no. The three of you will drink this whole tavern dry if I don’t stop you.”

“Oh, I’m not here to get any more.” He leans on the countertop. “I just want to know what the hell you did.” Kaeya motions over to you. You’re just giggling at Rosaria’s complaining, leaning over and patting her on the head.

“I’m not talking to you about this.” Diluc leans back, crossing his arms stubbornly.

“Suit yourself.” He straights up. “I should probably get her out of here before you say something stupid.”

“I’m not going to be saying anything stupid.” Diluc shakes his head, looking over the list of all the drinks you’ve had this evening. “You’re all wasted.”

“And yet, you haven’t said last call.”

Seemingly to spite him, DIluc immediately does. He signals over to Charles to round up the remaining people. He knew to leave you last.

Kaeya’s laugh is enough to haunt him. “You make this right, Diluc.” He runs his finger over the counter. “Otherwise I will.”

“Get out of my sight.”

The cavalry captain laughs again, then wanders over to your table. He practically drags Rosaria back up, but she pushes away from him and made her own way to the counter - always a good spirit, she paid for her own portion of drinks and left. Being a nun, she probably didn’t need to use the money elsewhere.

Kaeya was two steps away from just carrying you out the door, but through his drunk mind he finds the clarity to understand just how absolutely inappropriate that would be to do, especially in front of Diluc. Alas, you lean on his shoulder as he assists your steps.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Diluc’s voice calls out, as if to stop you both.

“Usual billing.” Kaeya calls back.

“No, no.” You both look back at him. He shifts on his feet, eyes locking with yours. “I’ll be damned if you go home with him.”

“Then damned you are.” You roll your eyes, turning away.

He calls your name softly. “Step away from him. Come here.”

You take a deep breath. “I am so glad I don’t have to remember any of this.”

Diluc places a glass of water in front of you. “Drink this. You wreak of alcohol.”

“And you wreak of your hatred.” You sit down in front of him, knowing that it wasn’t about to get better.

Diluc’s eyes flicker up to Kaeya. “Get out.”

“Not happening.”

“Kaeya, this doesn’t concern you.”

“Their safety is more than enough concern.”

“It’s alright, Kaeya, just wait outside.” You pipe in, not wanting even more stress.

Kaeya agrees, quietly slipping out the door. Charles is told to escort him away, an act which may have varying success.

Either way, you sat in front of Diluc, not sure what exactly to say to him.

“I’m tired, Diluc. I’m tired of this. I can’t put up with-“

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out, interrupting you. “Please, hear me out.”

“I’m not going to remember-“

“Then I’ll tell you again when you will.” He leans over the counter, not wanting to be apart from you. He calls your name again, as if to hold your attention, “Can we talk about this?”

“I think we talked about this already.” You groan. “Yesterday, plenty of yelling. The Maids and guards can confirm.”

Diluc takes a long breath out. You lift the glass of water and take an even longer sip.

Maybe the barrier of the counter between you made you feel better. But, as tears sprung to your eyes, you felt so, so much worse.

“Do you hate me?” You ask, your voice squeaking. “Do you want to break up with me.”

“No, Y/N.” He reaches for your hands, but you had pushed your stool too far away from him beforehand that he couldn’t. He circles around the bar and gently grabs both of your hands, soft enough in his hold for you to be able to pull away. “Don’t ever say that. I love you.”

“Then, why?” You sob, turning your face away from him, hands still in his. “Why did you yell at me? Why wouldn’t you talk to me this morning?”

“I…“ Diluc stops himself, taking a deep breath. “I was angry. We were both angry.” He shifts, pulling out a stool and sitting in front of you. “I wasn’t acting rationally.”

“When you said you wanted to talk this morning, what were you going to say?”

Diluc hesitates, gripping your hands just a little bit harder. “I was going to ask… I was going to ask if you were happy.” He admitted, quietly. “But I can’t do that. I can’t put you through that.”

You tug him toward you, pulling his hands close to your face. “Why would you say that? I love you.” You sob into his soft skin.

He takes his hands away from your gently, slipping them around your waist and pulling you close to him, into his lap. He tightens his grip. “I’m sorry.” He repeats. “I’m so sorry. I never want you to cry.” He feels his heartbeat heavily in his chest, a distraught washing over him. “Don’t ever destroy yourself like this again.” He runs a hand over your back.

You don’t say anything. You’re way too drunk for many more coherent thoughts to pass your lips. You lift your head and plant a soft kiss on his cheek, and he softly kisses your forehead, pulling you back to his chest so that you don’t try to kiss him anymore - He wasn’t about to let that happen, you were far too drunk.

Diluc was ashamed of his thoughts. His guilt, rising only when he saw you in the present company of his brother, showing affection and finding comfort anywhere except for him. He didn’t want to admit it to himself, nor to you, but as you cried into his shoulder, he couldn’t help the wave of disappointment in himself that washed over. Why could he never be there for the people who needed him most?

“Come on, finish your water, let’s get you home.” He insists, though he holds you tightly still until you stir.

You take the water, sipping it with a slight indignance. He would have to apologize to you again in the morning, but he would do anything to get you to trust him again.

(Part 2 here)

[sluttywonwoo]

take it off || k.mg x reader

Pairing: mob!mingyu x fem reader

Summary: as much as you hate to admit it, jealousy looks good on your fiancé 

Warnings: swearing, light smut (18+)

Word Count: 1.8k

a/n: reworked this old blurb originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark )

Masterlist

“Mingyu, slow down,” you said with a sigh, trying not to roll your eyes.

“What was he thinking?” Mingyu spat, not acknowledging what you had just said. He gripped the steering wheel even harder.

You watched as his knuckles began to turn white and rubbed his arm soothingly. “Baby, take a deep breath. Relax.”

He just shrugged you off and cursed at the car in front of him.

“Don’t fucking tell me to relax.”

“It’s not a big deal, Gyu.”

He actually turned his head towards you and looked at you this time. “You’re joking.”

You shrugged sheepishly. “I’ve had worse.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

You winced, knowing you’d probably made it worse and that Mingyu was likely now picturing the grimy hands of ill-intentioned strangers all over your body.

“I should have him killed,” he snarled.

To most, that threat would sound completely ridiculous or utterly insane, but your fiancé was the head of the Seoul mob-the South West branch anyway- and he was no stranger to violence. Having someone killed would be as easy as snapping his fingers.

You scoffed to call his bluff.

“You think I won’t?” he challenged and you groaned.

“You promised you were done with that.”

It’s true, one of the conditions of your engagement had been that Mingyu agree to put the more sinister side of his business to rest, and although you trusted him, in all honesty, you weren’t sure how well he was upholding his end of the deal.

“I’d make an exception.”

“Well don’t. I don’t want some poor guy’s blood on my hands.”

At that, the car screeched to a stop right in the middle of the freeway. The cars behind you honked and flashed their lights at Mingyu as they maneuvered to avoid a collision.

You huffed in frustration, wanting to bang your head against the dashboard. This was exactly why you didn’t like for Mingyu to drive himself: he pulled dangerous shit all the time like this. Literally, all of his other men had drivers who took them places and you desperately wished Mingyu would hire someone, but he insisted that it was safest if he was the one driving (yet here you were in the middle of the highway).

“You could’ve fucking killed us!” you shouted, more annoyed than anything.

Mingyu took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. But y/n, he’s not just some poor guy.”

“He was trying to get a rise out of you, Gyu. He fucking hates you, of course, he’d go after me, and he was drunk.”

Mingyu narrowed his eyes at you, foot still pressed firmly on the brake. “That’s not a fucking excuse, you of all people should know that. Why are you trying to defend him?”

“I’m not trying to defend him, I’m just saying he doesn’t deserve to die. Can we please just get home?”

Mingyu relented and put the car back into motion making you breathe a sigh of relief.

Even though he didn’t say anything else you could tell his mind was still going a thousand miles a minute. You watched him chew at his lip in silence and wondered what was going on in that beautiful head of his. Nothing good, you could be sure of that.

Mingyu’s mind was darker than most. Occupational hazard. He carried so much pain that you hadn’t known about when you first met him. He’d let you in slowly, keeping you at arm’s length for months, until he almost lost you. And then he knew he couldn’t keep things from you anymore. It was still a challenge to understand his thought process sometimes, but you liked it that way. How could a ruthless, power-hungry mobster also be the most loving, family-oriented person you’d ever met in your life? How could someone who dropped a grand on a dinner like it was nothing secretly rather spend one more night picnicking with crappy Chinese food on the bedroom floor in your old apartment? You couldn’t think of an answer, and you didn’t want to.

The guy at the bar tonight had been some rival of Mingyu’s. You hadn’t seen him before, but you could tell because when Mingyu got up to get the two of you more drinks he swooped in and laid it on heavy. He looped one arm around your waist and placed his other hand on your knee and began attempting to seduce you. Sure, you were uncomfortable but more than anything you were angry. And tired. Tired of being used as bait, something to get to Mingyu.

You didn’t want to make a scene so you listened to the asshole talk about how much better he’d treat you than Mingyu until your fiancé eventually returned with your drinks in hand, face beet red, eyes dark with anger.

The man, you never caught his name, left the bar with a broken nose. Mingyu left with bruised knuckles. You’d thought it would end at that, but of course, once Mingyu got started it was hard for him to stop. It was a gift in the bedroom, but a curse in the rest of your life.

Then, so softly you almost didn’t hear it, Mingyu broke the silence in the car and said “I know what he said to you,” and it all clicked.

Normally, a hand on your shoulder, thigh, ass was enough to set Mingyu off, but combine that with the filthy words he’d undoubtedly overheard spilling from the man’s lips… no wonder all he could see was red.

“Mingyu, I-“

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want to start something.”

“Start something? Is that true? Or do you think he’s right?”

“No, of course not.”

“Do you think he can satisfy you better than I can?”

“Mingyu!”

“Well do you?”

You shook your head and rubbed your thighs together, fighting a shiver. As irritating as Mingyu’s jealousy could be, the effect it had on you was even more infuriating. The man could already turn you on without doing anything and whenever he started acting a little jealous it was game over for you. It was pathetic, really.

“Why the fuck did he even think it was okay to look at you, let alone touch you?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged finally settling in to play the game. “These big dudes with huge muscles just think they can have whoever they want.”

Mingyu whipped his head back towards you. “What did you say?”

You ignored him. “I mean he definitely wouldn’t be as good as you, but he could do some damage.” Mingyu was full-on glaring at you now, and you wanted to tell him to keep his eyes on the road, but you couldn’t give up so fast. “I mean, just one of his hands could probably wrap around my whole neck. Like they were giant, and you know what they say about guys with big hands-“

“Do you think this is funny?”

Any sane person wouldn’t even think about taunting Mingyu like this, not with his reputation, but you couldn’t be sane to be with someone like Mingyu anyway, and besides, you knew he was a big softie at heart.

“A little,” you admitted. “You look really hot right now.”

He really did. His hair was tousled with silver highlights from the moonlight streaming in through the windshield, his tan skin was flushed with adrenaline, and his white button-up was unbuttoned just a few times to show off his collarbone. You bit your lip. You were so fucking weak.

“That’s not going to work.”

“No?” You quirked an eyebrow and leaned over the console to see that he was already more than half hard in his dress pants. “Because it looks like it’s working.” You reached over and began to palm him through his trousers, smirking when he cursed and rolled his neck at the contact.

“Y/n, if I have to pull over, you’re not going to be able to walk for the next week.”

Oh no, that’d be horrible you thought to yourself and rolled your eyes. He had to know that’s what you secretly wanted, right? Right? Why were men so stupid?

Either way, you took your hand back and moved it up under the hem of your dress to where you were feeling a little desperate for some friction. You sighed deeply when you rubbed yourself over your panties, not even surprised at how wet you were.

“Fuck,” you hissed out and hiked your legs up onto the seat so you could give Mingyu a better view.

“Stop that.”

He said it so forcefully that you froze, fingers hovering over your panties, about to pull them to the side. Then you smiled.

“No.” You went ahead and did it anyway, slipping two fingers inside of yourself easily.

You weren’t one to defy Mingyu often, especially when it came to what he asked of you in the bedroom, but you knew how crazy it drove him and just couldn’t resist.

Mingyu groaned, trying and failing to maintain an angry expression. His eyes betrayed an absolutely sinful lust that made you want to melt and you wished more than anything he’d just pull the fucking car over.

“Fuck, Gyu,” you gasped, “I wish these were your fingers, you’re so good with your fingers.”

“Yeah? You sure you wish they’re my fingers? Not someone else’s?”

You shook your head vigorously. “Never. You’re the only one who knows how to make me cum that hard.”

“Is that what you want? To cum hard?”

“God, yes,” you moaned, pumping your fingers in and out of you faster.

“Take off your dress.”

“What?” you weren’t sure if you’d heard him right, you were still driving down the highway after all.

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

Not wanting to push your luck any further you didn’t hesitate to listen this time and pulled the loose fabric up and over your head.

“Good girl,” he praised and you whined. You were still wearing your bra and underwear and as much as you’d love to flash oncoming traffic, you hoped Mingyu wouldn’t ask you to take them off.

“You can touch yourself,” he said and you complied, knowing it was more of an instruction than an allowance.

It felt good, really good, but you still wished it was him instead of you.

“Fuck, darling you look so beautiful like that, God, I can’t believe I get to marry you.”

“If, you stop, killing people,” you managed to get out through gritted teeth and Mingyu laughed.

“I’m not going to kill him, baby. I made a promise. You’re too important to risk losing, even if he is a fucking prick.”

You whimpered, the mixture of complete head-over-heels love you felt for Mingyu and pleasure making you crumble.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he said, reaching over and taking you by the wrist, stalling your movements just as you were about to fall over the edge. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll forget you ever met that asshole.”

lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!

forever tags: @haven-cove

shoot me an ask to be added/removed from my taglist

[i-cant-sing]

Promise: Yandere Godfather Hawks x Todoroki reader

This is a side story takes place in the YRHR series, after part 1, when the reader returns home, blind.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

"Y/n... Come on, wake up. Its 9 already." You heard him say, feeling the bed dip as he sat on it, gently touching the back of your shoulder. "Aren't you hungry? Mom's making your favourite."

When you gave no response, Shotou pulled the covers away from your face, his brows furrowing at the bandages around your eyes that had loosened up. You had did that, clawing at the meticulously tight knot Natsuo had done; you didn't like how it settled on your eyes.

"You're awake, right?" The only answer he got was you turning your cheek further away from him when he tried to caress it. Shotou didn't like your silence and he missed it when you used to ramble about almost anything to him. He missed when you were happy.

The door bell rang.

Shotou looked at his watch confused. Wasn't Natsuo supposed to come around at 11? He could hear Enji walking to the main door, and after a few seconds of silence, he heard footsteps coming towards your room. But then he heard some scuffling, and people talking- he recognised Enji's and Dabi's voices, his brother's getting louder by the second.

"I'll check who's there. Stay."

Stay? You would've rolled your eyes if, you know, you still had them.

A few more minutes passed and you could hear Dabi arguing with someone, and you think that Shotou is trying to calm him down. Deciding to take advantage of the situation, you got up from the bed. For the past whole month, Shotou would come to wake you up everyday, carrying you in his arms to the bathroom, never letting you walk on your own, claiming "you'll get hurt".

Idiot.

Taking one small step at a time, you stretched your arms out trying to reach the wall. Once you felt the cold, smooth surface, you used it to guide you towards the door.

No matter what you did, or how many times you told them to back off, that you can do this on your own, they wouldn't let you. Hell, you were pretty sure that if they could, they would breathe for you too. As if trying to instil in your mind that you're helpless without them, incapable of making your own decisions.

I'll show them how fucking capable I am.

After stubbing your toe only once, you finally reached the door, your hand gripping the metal knob. You placed your ear on the door, trying to figure out who and where everyone is standing. The corridor seemed empty and you think everyone is downstairs.

Opening the door, you used another wall to guide you towards the stairs. You hoped Shotou doesn't see you; he'd throw a hissy fit at you attempting to walk down the stairs.

As you took one careful step at a time, you heard the commotion grow louder. You could hear Dabi yelling profanities at the other person, certainly not Enji because Rei or Fuyumi would've stepped in by now to stop him. You used to stop him too, but ever since what happened, you don't really care anymore.

"Why the fuck are you even here?! She doesn't fucking want to see you!"

"Dabi-!"

"And who is gonna stop me? You? I'd be happy to knock you down on your ass- its about goddamn time!"

"Hawks!"

Hawks?

Hawks.

Hawks!

You almost stumbled down the last few steps, but you needed to know- was he, was he really here?

"K-Keigo?"

You heard his wings flap before you felt him, the wind gushed at your body strongly, making you lose your balance. But muscular arms wrapped around you before you could fall, and the winged hero lifted you up and spun you around, making you burst into laughter.

Rei was the first one to cry.

You laughed.

Not a bitter, sarcastic one.

A genuinely happy laugh.

And she missed her baby's laugh so much.

Dabi's eyes widened slightly. His heart clenching up a bit as he realised how he missed that beaming look on your face. He realised how fucking naive you were, how you were his little sister that he needed to protect.

Shotou felt envy. Why- why didn't you laugh like that with him? Why didn't you laugh for him? Was he... not a good brother?

Fuyumi actually rushed out of the kitchen when she heard you, her hands coming up to her mouth to suppress the sob that was building up. Too long. It had been too long since you were happy.

Natsuo smiled. He smiled as he saw you chortle when the hero's feathers tickled your cheek. He wished you would smile more often.

Enji's breath hitched as he saw you chuckle into Hawk's shoulder. It was so natural, so lively, so radiant. He had been dying to hear that sweet sound again.

Your heart was beating fast and your stomach was doing somersaults as you felt the air rushing through your hair and cooling on to your neck, the soft feathers brushing across your skin.

He really was here.

But so were they.

And you could feel their eyes on you.

Keigo frowned when he saw you curl yourself into him, as if trying to bury yourself into his chest. When he looked around, he saw them glaring and that's when he puffed out his wings before curling them around you; shielding you.

"I'll be spending time with my goddaughter. Do not disturb us." And with that, Hawks flew you up to your room, locking the door before they could sat anything. He could hear Dabi arguing, but he trusted Enji to handle him.

He set you on your bed, chuckling as you didn't let go of his collar.

"Its okay, dove. I'm here, now- ow!" You cut him off by punching his arm.

"Where were you?!"

"In your heart- ow! Stop hitting me!" He caught your wrists.

"You said you were gonna visit me at home! Its been a whole month-"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry but believe me, I really was busy!" Sighing, he continued. "The hero commission sent me to Europe for a mission and things got a bit messy, so I got caught up."

Yanking your hands out of his grip, you scowled. "Would it have killed you to call?"

"I mean I wouldn't say kill, but I probably could've lost a limb or two-" He started laughing when when you began getting up to walk to the door.

Keigo wrapped his arms around you, smiling cheekily"Y/n- I'm sorry, I'm just kidding. Come back-"

"No, let go! I don't have time for your bullshit" He continued laughing, easily picking you up and dropping you back on your bed.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Come on, now. Stop being mad." You heard him shuffling. "Besides, I've got something for you!"

He dropped something in your lap. You picked an item, your hands feeling around it, trying to figure out what the rectangular shaped box was.

"Whats this?"

"Oh, here. Let me help you." He lifted the lid of the box and you were immediately hit by a familiar smell.

"Chocolate?"

He hummed in confirmation"Your favourite ones too! They were always sold out! Luckily, I was able to use my charm on the owner."

"Charm? Oh, you mean where you pull that ugly smirk and do that half lidded look with your eyes, and you think that you look hot but you actually just look creepy?"

"Yeah- hey!"

And then the next 3 hours were spent like that, Hawks telling you about Europe and the bad guys he caught, you telling him about the way your family had been treating you.

"They don't let me do anything, they don't give me any privacy! Its like- its like they want me to be a doll!" You gave an exasperated sigh. "They- they act like they are being so generous. Like it was somehow my fault that my eyes got fried!"

"Oh come on. They can't be that bad-"

"They are! So much worse than before. Look, I'm a grown up- I need my space too! You know what Shotou said when I asked him to get me a walking stick? He said I don't need one since he can carry me everywhere. Do you know how embarrassing it is to get carried to the toilet every single day? Do you?!"

"Well, no-"

"And then Fuyumi cuts up my food and spoon feeds me herself! I know I'm blind but its not like I'm gonna stuff the food up my nose or something!"

The hero snickered at that.

"And then Enji reads me these novels or the newspaper and he skips over the parts he thinks I'm too "young" or "immature" to understand! They even monitor what I listen to! Fuyumi or Shotou would be quick to change the channel if something above pg 10 comes on!" You ran a hand through your hair frustratedly. "I asked Enji to get me a Braille and the first few time he pretended like he didn't hear me, before finally saying that I don't need one!"

"Don't worry, I'll sneak in a Braille for dummies the next time I visit."

"Hey-! Wait... what do you mean "next time"?"

"Oh come on! I promise I'll come earlier next time. Maybe in like 2 weeks-"

"No."

"What-"

"No. I want to leave this place today. You promised."

"Y/n-"Keigo reached to place a hand on your shoulder but you pushed him off.

"You. Promised. You said you'll get me out of here when I leave the hospital" You inhaled deeply. "Well, guess what, Hawks? Its been a whole month."

"I know but you're not well enough-"

"I AM! If anything, staying here is harming me more!" Your tone was getting angrier. "You said- you said you would take me away from them."

"I can't do it right now. The hero commission needs me-"

"I need you! Or am I just not worth your time?"

"Please, dove- try to understand. How will I take care of you if I'm out at the agency?"He tried to pet your head but you smacked his hand away, snarling at him.

"You're a liar. A big fucking liar! Was this the plan all along? To give me hope that you'll save me, only to fucking crush it?!" The hero managed to dodge the box of chocolates you threw at him. "I don't need fucking chocolate or your stupid presents. I need to get out of this goddamn house!"

The hero began walking towards the door. "You're not thinking rationally- I'll- I'll leave." But before the hero could manage to take another step, you were leaping towards him, but since you couldn't see, you only managed to fall near his feet. When he grabbed your shoulders to help you up, you were quick to latch onto him, wrapping your arms around his torso tightly.

"No- no! Don't go. Please, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that. Please, don't be mad. I swear I'll behave, just don't leave me here!" Your hold onto him was becoming painfully tight.

Keigo felt like someone was breaking his heart piece by piece as he looked at you. The way your body shook from your pitiful sobs, the way you held onto his jacket as if your life depended on it- he was forced to remember how vulnerable you looked the night he brought you back to the this house. The same night when you begged and begged him to fly you away, that you'll do anything as long as he didn't dropped you back at the Todoroki estate.

"Y/n- darling, love, listen to me. I promised you that I'll keep you save, didn't I? I promise I'll come back soon-"

"YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE! CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT SHE'S DONE TO ME! SHE BURNED MY FUCKING EYES HAWKS! I'M FUCKING BLIND! DO I NEED TO LOSE A LIMB FOR YOU TO GET ME OUT OF HERE?! DO I HAVE TO SUFFER FROM ANOTHER "ACCIDENT"?!"

Hawks knew that bitch Rei did this on purpose, he knew and it killed him that he couldn't save you from her. He wanted to tell you that he believed you, and he was preparing a place for you. But the hero knows your siblings were eavesdropping, right on the other side of the door.

He had to be careful and play the fool if he wanted to get you out of this hell hole.

"Y/n please-"

You shook your head repeatedly, pulling him closer to you as you shrieked at him. "No. NO! I wont let you go! I WON'T LET YOU LEAVE WITHOUT ME! Keigo, I'm begging you! Take me with you, please! I'll die! I'll die! I'LL FUCKING DIE, KEIGO! PLEASE!"

Your loud screams had your siblings bursting through the door, obviously using a spare key. "Y/n, whats wrong-" You jumped away when they touched your shoulder, giving Hawks chance to slip away.

You instantly reached out for him, flailing your arms around to get a hold of him again. But the hero was already out the door and your siblings quickly pulled you back into their arms, shushing you, trying to calm you down.

But you were inconsolable. Thrashing around in Shotou's arms, you kept begging for Hawks to come back. "HAWKS COME BACK! LET ME GO! HAWKS, PLEASE! I'LL DIE! I'LL DIE! I'LL DIE!" It pained them to see you like this, so hysterical; Shotou and Fuyumi whispered sweet nothings but you payed them no mind. Natsuo knew you were going to hyperventilate soon, but he was more worried about you bursting a vessel in your head.

Thinking fast, he quickly brought up a tranquilliser- and the moment the sharp smell of the alcohol swab hit your nose, you were wrestling harder to get out Shotou's and Fuyumi's arms.

"Y/n, please calm down-"

"FUCK YOU! LET ME GO! KEIGO! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! COME BACK- STOP! STOP TOUCHING ME! STOP!" You screamed louder than before when you felt her cold hands gripping your arm, holding it still so that your brother could administer the dose.

As the drug began taking effect, your thrashing slowed down before you finally slumped into Shotou's arms. The tranquilliser numbed the headache that was forming, and you felt Fuyumi use a tissue to wipe the snot and the spit off your face.

"I'll die... I'll die... And you won't be there. And I'll die..."

Hawks was in a trance like state as he watched Shotou tuck you under the covers. He wanted to use his sharp feathers to slice off that cold bitch's hand that brushed the hair out of your face, before pressing a kiss to your forehead. Your daunting screams rang through his ears; his chest felt like some was shoving a knife through it slowly as he played back the image of you trying to wring yourself free from their arms, one hand still reaching out for him. It took everything in him not to grab it and pull you away from those monsters, but he had to remind himself of the bigger picture.

Lost in his thoughts, he didn't even notice the pyromaniac standing next to him until he spoke.

"This is all your fault."

Hawks looked at Dabi. His fault?

"You shouldn't have come here."

"She's my goddaughter-"

"Shut the fuck up." Dabi narrowed his eyes at the hero. "She's like this because you gave her false hope. Hope, that one day she'll get away from us. You and I both know that's not gonna happen." He sighed before continuing. "You call yourself a hero, but in reality, you're no better than us."

As Hawks turned to leave, not willing to let the villian get on his nerves, Dabi spoke again.

"Dont bother coming back. She won't forgive you. She'll never forget this betrayal."

Hurtful as they were, he knew the words he said were true.

Hawks was almost out the gates when he saw Enji sitting in the garden, looking at the koi pond. He should've left, should've flown away but there was something in Enji's eyes that had the winged hero walking towards him. He recognised the emotion as soon as he got close.

Sorrow.

Or was it guilt?

Perhaps a mixture of both.

"Endeavour, are you... alright?"

The number 1 hero looked away from the fish and blinked at him.

"Hawks? What are you still doing here?"

The blonde chuckled nervously. "I was just on my way out." He gazed at him. "Are you okay? You seem to be in deep thought."

Enji only stared at him. Taking his silence as the answer, Hawks turned to leave.

"Why did you come here today, Keigo?"

Keigo.

He suppressed the urge to shudder the way his name rolled off his tongue.

"She's my goddaughter too. Why? Do you think it was a bad decision to come?"

"No." Enji sighed. "I just- she hadn't laughed like that in a long time."

Hawks stood beside him. "She's still traumatised from the kitchen accident. Its understable-"

"No. She hadn't laughed like that for a long time, even before this happened." Enji's eyes moved towards the night sky. The stars were twinkling extra bright tonight. How he wished you could see it. "Before she lost her sight, she used to look out the window, her eyes searching sky." He gulped. "She was looking for you, Keigo. You- you made her happy, you make her laugh. I don't."

Hawks placed his hand on Enji's shoulder. "That's not true, Enji. You do make her happy. She loves you. She feels safe with you. She sees you as her protector."

"She does?"

He nodded. "Of course. If you want things to return to normal, you need to treat her normally too. Just- just talk to her. Sort out the issues and wash away whatever fears she has." Hawks wanted Enji to listen to you, to really listen to you and protect you from Rei. He could only hope that Enji understood what he meant.

Hawks was right, Enji realised. Whatever delusions you have of Rei wanting to hurt you on purpose, of being the "bad person", they can all be cleared up if he just talked to you. Ever since the incident, the family avoided talking to you about Rei or the events that had occurred that day.

If he just talked to you, things will return to normal. You'll become happy again.

"Thank you, Keigo."

Hawks only smiled in return. "I'll be leaving now."

"Okay. When will you visit again?"

"I'll be gone for longer now. The hero commission is sending me on another mission again."

"Oh. Safe travels, then."

As Hawks flew away, he began thinking about the house.

The house where he was going to take you to soon. He just needs to add a few finishing touches before he sets his plan in motion. The plan to rescue you, and eventually Enji, from those sadist that call themselves your family.

He will not let his dove get hurt again.

He'll save you this time.

He promises.

Thoughts?

Idk how this turned out, angst wasn't the plan initially. Guess I'll write godfather Hawks fluff for another day.

Anyways, now that this is done, I'll start working on RE 8 fic now.

[lubdubsworld]

⋆⋆✵ Perfect Imperfections ✵⋆⋆

Chapter 1

Genre : Arranged Marriage AU! Angst! Explicit Sexual Content.

Rating : 21+

Warnings : Ableism , Chronic disability. OC has limited use of her left leg, Emotional infidelity? Mild Cheating ( nothing very physical.. a kiss or so )

Summary : Marrying Jungkook is a mistake. Falling in love with him? Definitely the worst exercise in masochism .

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 2

No one tells you how easy it is to imagine yourself in love with a beautiful man. Especially when you don’t have a clear understanding of what love actually is. 

When I met Jungkook, even knowing he was in love with my sister hadn’t done much to douse the flames of hope and attraction. He was a lot of things that other men in my life weren’t. Kind without being pitying. Concerned without being overbearing. He took care of me without making me feel helpless. And there was always such a thin line between these things that I found myself impressed by his ability to toe the line so well.

Jungkook took care of me without making me feel like a burden and I suppose, some part of me had assumed that this could, in due time turn into love. But I was clearly wrong.

Jungkook and Liza had been kissing in the hallway of their hotel room and someone had taken pictures. My father and his had managed to get them taken down but the news was already out, spreading like wildfire . My phone began ringing sometime around eight in the morning and hadn’t stopped. It was now a little past one in the afternoon and I felt queasy, despite the assurances that it was all being taken care of.

It was the pity in everyone’s face that I couldn’t bear.

I wasn’t hurt. Angry, yes? Upset? Of course. But I wasn’t hurt because there really was nothing to be hurt about. Jungkook didn’t love me. He was in love with my sister . He had made it clear, through his words and his actions, over and over again. At this point, I could see this debacle as nothing more than a possible way to get out of the marriage. Perhaps, my father would approve of a divorce?

I glanced at the article again.

The photo is just so annoyingly clear, I thought with a grimace. If it was a little blurry, I could convince myself it wasn’t him and her. But it was clear. That was my husband with his lips locked with my sister’s. Against my better judgment, I read the article again. It was a gossip column, of course there would be nothing good in there. But sometimes curiosity can be a persistent thing.

I felt my skin crawling as I realized that the phrases were all pretty true. There was no gossip here. Just plain facts.

And then my eyes reached the end of the article.

Of note is the fact that Jeon Jungkook’s wife is disabled and perhaps the virile young man is merely looking for pleasure he can’t find in his own marital bed.

I swallowed, quickly exiting the page and tossing the phone on the bed, away from me. I stared out of the window of our bedroom, the large doors left open to let air and sunlight in. There was a tall sycamore tree right outside out bedroom and the branches almost reached in and I stared at the rustling leaves, trying to scrub my mind clean of the words I’d just read.

But it was impossible.

It wasn’t something I hadn’t thought of. The stark difference between me and Jungkook, physically. He spent five days a week in the gym and they were right. He was a young man with healthy sexual appetites.

I’d never cheat on you. Jungkook’s voice from a week ago still echoed somewhere inside my skull.

I sighed, playing with my wedding ring.

I wasn’t a virgin when I married Jungkook. Hadn’t been one , when I got into the accident either. My then boyfriend, a tall strapping lit major had been a very sexual guy as well and our libidos had matched pretty well. But I’d been an athletic nineteen year old, able to bend like a pretzel at his whim and there was just endless time and endless stamina and just a whole lot of attraction . We had spent hours, exploring each other the way college kids do. Weekends in bed spent trying every possible permutation of sex positions and kinks and I’d discovered all the things I liked. All the things I didn’t.

But then the accident had happened and well, when you’re in crippling agony, sometimes sex takes the backseat. I’d been focused on my recovery, on making sure that I came out of this at least with the ability to walk and I’d succeeded. Burying the part of me that craved a man’s touch, it wasn’t easy but it was necessary.

And then Jungkook had happened.

Sex with Jungkook hadn’t been difficult. Not really. I wasn’t completely crippled after all but it was also nowhere near as exciting as it could be with someone who had full use of her legs. I knew that. It was kind of obvious. But I hadn’t dwelt too much on it because to be honest, Jungkook hadn’t looked like he’d minded. He had seemed to enjoy himself .

But then reading about how he probably hadn’t enjoyed it definitely stung.

Worse yet, probably half the country was reading it with me. I felt nauseous. Did no one think that they should have left the last part out of that article? It was terrible enough without adding that bit about me.

A faint buzzing made me turn to the bed.

I glanced at my phone as it rang, my father in law’s name prominent on the screen.

Showtime, I thought with a grimace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I suppose it was too much to hope for , expecting that boy  to keep his dignity. This is outrageous.” Mr. Jeon’s loud voice rang through the foyer of the house and I flinched, gripping the edge of the futon as Sana jumped a bit . She sat next to me, holding my hand carefully. Moral support I supposed but I was feeling entirely too blasé about the whole thing. None of this was unexpected, I thought miserably and I wasn’t feeling up to pretending otherwise.

“I still wish they’d talked to me about this.”

My brother in law’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. The man looked like he’d been dragged through hell and back and I felt a pang of genuine sympathy. He looked wrecked and it was obvious she was in love with my sister. Resentment coiled thick and deep inside me. Resentment and envy.

With no effort at all she had charmed both the Jeon brothers, I thought bitterly.

Jeon Jihyun looked absolutely stricken at the thought of losing his wife.  

“I’ve asked Lisa to take the first flight out. She called me this morning, hysterical. It was something done in the heat of the moment. She .. She’s very apologetic. I believe her and I’m willing to forgive her. We’re…. We’re thinking of starting a family together. ” He said softly and my stomach turned.

I felt my skin go ice cold as I wrapped my arms around myself. Shivering just a bit, I lightly squeezed Sana’s hand. She looked at me in askance and I had to swallow to get my voice out, throat dry. The words made me want to retch. I could imagine how Jungkook would take this news.

“Can you get me my shawl? It’s in the green room.” I said hoarsely.  She bowed before moving away from me and when I looked back up, Jihyun’s gaze caught mine.

“This must be hard on you.” He said softly and I flushed, staring down at my knees.

“Not like I can run from it. Literally or figuratively.” I smiled without mirth.

“Jungkook is …he’s just confused. He needs some time to sort himself out. I’ve asked him to take a break and come back to Seoul after a couple of weeks. The separation would do him some good.” Jihyun said quietly and I sighed before nodding. What else was I supposed to say to that anyway? There wasn’t much I could do, my influence on things almost nonexistent at this point.

“Are you going to give the boy a break, Jeon?” My father demanded, staring at Jungkook’s father who sighed.

“Yes. I’ve been trying to get these damned reporters off our back. They’re all over the place. And yes, I think Jungkook should stay in Japan for a while.  We’re starting a new distribution branch there and I wanted him to scout places and possible vendors. I’ll tell him to hash out all the details before coming back.”

His phone rang again and he excused himself . I watched him leave the room, trying to make sense of his words.

How long would it take to build a whole branch in Japan? I had no clue. But it could hardly be done in a few weeks, could it?

“That’s.. That’s a long time.” I said hesitantly and my father frowned.

“is that a problem?” he asked.

I sighed. There was no point keeping this to myself. I was supposed to go to the doctor’s tomorrow. And well, it would be better if they heard it from me first.

“I.. I’m pregnant.” I said quietly.

The silence that followed was deafening. I stared at the carpet, not able to bring myself to look up at them. I could guess, what I’d find there. It was what I always found in people’s faces.

“Oh, sweet child.” My father’s sigh made me look up and there it was. The pity. I felt sick to my stomach. Sana returned, settling the hand knit shawl over my shoulders and I wrapped it tight, before glancing at her in some desperation. She smiled reassuringly, settling next to me and gently taking my fingers in hers. The warmth grounded me for a second and when Jihyun growled, I stared at him.

“I… I didn’t know. Fuck, I’m going to kill Jungkook. This fucker…” Jihyung swore and my father sighed, clearly thinking hard.

“you can’t be staying alone now.” He said softly, sitting up and cracking his knuckles, and I swallowed. I wouldn’t bear it if they tried to take me back home. I had hated it there.

“ You must come back home with me.” He said softly but I quickly shook my head.

“ No.. No I won’t. I … Please.” I begged, the mere idea of going back to my childhood home a nightmare. My mother would kill me with just her sharp and vindictive words. I was in no shape to put up with her verbal and emotional abuse. It was one of the things that had made me agree to marry Jungkook in the first place.

“Well, you can’t stay here by yourself.” My father protested. I’ve been by myself my whole damn life, I wanted to scream.

“I’ll be fine. I have Sana and the others to help me.” I said tiredly. My father shook his head before turning to Jihyun again.

“Is Namjoon still working on his book?” My father asked him and Jihyun frowned. The name elicited a tug in my memory and I turned to stare at my father, confused.

“You remember him? He used to tutor you when you were hi High School.”

I had a brief flashback to dimples and almond shaped eyes. I remembered him vaguely. Very vaguely. But nowhere well enough to want him to live with me, alone or not.  

“Dad…” I protested but he held a hand up to silence me, nodding at Jihyun .

“Namjoon? Kim Namjoon? ” He shook his head. “ I’m not sure. Why?”

“I think it would be good if he moves in here. His father was telling me that he was looking for a place to stay, now that he’s moved back to Korea. ” My father said softly, staring at me and I stiffened.

“Father…” I began desperately and my father shook his head.

“Don’t argue. He was a dear friend of yours. I don’t think you should be alone at a time like this. And I think Jungkook would approve. Like Jihyun said, the kid needs some space to sort himself out. Let him finish whatever business is going on in Japan.” My father glanced at Mr. Jeon who looked at me with guilt.

“I owe you an apology , on behalf of my idiot son.”

I looked away, not sure what to say to that. I hated the man quite passionately. Jungkook wasn’t perfect… far from it. But this man had taken a sledgehammer to my husband’s mind and heart at every turn. The disdain, the condescension, the sick way he favored his brother over him, the way nothing Jungkook did was ever good enough. It had all taken a toll on my husband. I had watched it chip away at Jungkook’s self confidence, at his mental health.

“I think more than anything, you owe an apology to your son. You knew he was in love with Lisa and yet…. You forced him to marry me.” I said quietly and the room went eerily quiet. My father rounded on me , eyes blazing.

“Leah!!! Apologize, now!” He roared and I looked away.

“You’re all the same. Ungrateful and entitled.” Mr. Jeon said sharply, before turning to his son. “ I’m leaving Jihyun-ah. Tell me when that wife of yours get home. I want to talk to her.”

He shared a half hug with my father before stalking off and my father grabbed his jacket as well.

“I’ll leave as well. Your mother is being quite hysterical. Apparently, all her friends are hounding her about the article.” He sighed and I nodded , watching him shrug on the jacket before nodding at Jihyun and then following his friend out to the front doors.

Jihyun stayed standing , watching my father’s form disappear through the door before turning to me.

“ Are you alright?” He said quietly, moving to kneel in front of me. Sana stood up, bowing before leaving and I watched her disappear into the hallway leading to the kitchens. Jihyun’s fingers wrapped around mine, brushing my knees and I stared down at him.

“The question is, are you alright?” I brushed the hair off his face. He sighed.

“No. No I’m not. I’m angry and jealous and very much filled with resentment towards my brother.” He said honestly and I laughed, tugging on his hand and patting the seat next to me. He straightened before moving to settle next to me and I leaned on his shoulders, sighing as he wrapped on around me, the warmth of his body comforting .

“Are you going to give your marriage a chance?” I asked carefully.

“She told me she was going to break things off for good. We.. We’ve been talking about it. Starting a family, making this work.” He said quietly. I nodded. It was understandable. Unlike Jungkook and I , Jihyun had a responsibility. He would need a son and even though people liked to act like they didn’t care much about gender, like they didn’t care much about having children , it was sort of an unspoken rule. First son of the house ? You had to have a male heir to carry the family name.

I wondered how that conversation had gone between Jungkook and Lisa. It didn’t really match the photo I’d seen.

“I suppose Jungkook probably put up a fight. He genuinely wants to end up with her. He… He tells me often that he loves her and can’t love anyone else. ” I wondered if I ought to feel embarrassed or insulted.

But the truth was, I was numb to a lot of things that had once hurt quite a lot..

The conversation with Jungkook about my pregnancy had definitely cleared things up for me. There was nothing there worth salvaging. Chasing something that wasn’t real , that was foolishness. Especially when I had a very real baby to think about. A child that counted on me to make the right choices.

“I don’t think he did. She spoke to me last night and said that he agreed. Of course that was before the article came out. I’d like to think she didn’t lie to me but I’m not sure.”

I sighed, settling in closer to his chest. He was warm and firm, solid and reliable. I wondered if it would have been easier, if my father had just married me off to Jihyun instead. Jihyun and I …we were alike. We had been friends , even from childhood. Had watched with fond adoration as our younger siblings had fallen madly, wildly in love. Jungkook and Liza had been drawn to each other from the first. Inevitable.

Jihyun and I were more carefree. We didn’t feel things that intensely and perhaps that was why we could sit here in the calm of the afternoon air, quiet and introspective when we ought to be furious and raging.

“ Should we run off together? You and i?” He said suddenly making me laugh.

“Very much incapable of running.” I reminded him with a grin and he squeezed my shoulder .

“I’d carry you.” He said simply.

“Where would we go?” I asked curiously, indulging the fantasy for just a few minutes.

“Somewhere far away. Maybe India? There’s so many people there and we could get lost in the crowds.”

“That does sound appealing.” I smiled and turned to look up at him. His face inches from mine, not as handsome as Jungkook but strong featured and kind. “ But I’m not alone anymore. I have a child.”

His gaze dipped to my lap.

“Yes. Jungkook’s child.” He said thoughtfully.

“No. Mine. Nobody else’s . Just mine.” I said quietly. Jihyun’s gaze softened. He pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, echoing his father’s words.” On behalf of my idiot brother, I’m sorry.”

And where Mr. Jeon’s words hadn’t made any sort of impact, Jihyun’s made my heart clench and ache in the worst way. Self pity was something I loathed but sometimes, being handed the short end of the stick at every turn in life makes it impossible to not feel sorry for yourself.

Tears stung, welling up in my eyes and spilling over my lashes like water bubbling out of an aquifer.

I blinked slowly, not bothering to wipe them as they traced a path down my face, dripping into the fabric of my shawl. In a moment of clarity I wondered what Jungkook must be going through now. Nothing good for sure.

It definitely said something, that I still worried for him. Sighing, I let Jihyun hug me closer. I would take advantage of his kindness for a few more minutes. It had been a while since someone had held me like I mattered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I called Jungkook that evening.

It wasn’t an easy choice but my heart ached and my mind raced with unanswered questions. I didn’t want to get lost in my own thoughts so I didn’t overthink it. We were still married. I was allowed to call him.

He picked up on the third ring.

“Where are you?” I asked quietly and Jungkook’s groan made my face heat up a little.

“I… Leah?” He sounded groggy. I glanced at the time. It wasn’t late.

“Are you sleeping?”

He didn’t reply for a few minutes.

“I’m sorry about what happened. We.. We didn’t do anything else. It was just.. it was a kiss. Just that.”

“Are you still in the hotel?” I asked quietly ignoring his words.

“ For tonight, yes. Dad wants me to stay with a friend of his. I’ll be going over to their place tomorrow morning.” He replied .

Silence followed for a few seconds.

“Namjoon is moving in tomorrow.” I said stiffly.

Jungkook didn’t respond for a minute or so.

“Yes. Father said it’s a good idea. And I agree. You shouldn’t be alone while I’m here. He’s right. Hyung’s a nice guy. He’ll help you out.” Jungkook said softly.

“Liza came home. She wanted to talk to me.” I said quietly.

Jungkook didn’t reply and I sighed.

“I told her I wasn’t going to talk to her before I talked to you. I don’t… I don’t want to say anything to her that I haven’t already said before. But I still want to know your thoughts on all this. Your plans, that is. I take it you weren’t happy with her ending things.” I said stiltedly.

Jungkook didn’t reply for a few seconds.

“Things between us ended a long time ago, Leah. It was over when we both agreed to marry other people. Maybe even before that, I don’t know… I … I guess I just didn’t want to acknowledge them.” He said quietly. “ She’s different, now. Even that kiss felt so wrong.  She’s moving on. I’m glad in a way. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone like hyung. He’s better than me in everyway and-”

God I wanted to strangle him.

“So why did you kiss her?” I snapped. “ If you’re so generously letting her go why would you…” I stopped.

“I didn’t kiss her. She kissed me. It was barely for a second.” He muttered. “ whoever it was must’ve been videoing us for a while.”

I had to remind myself that in the grand scheme of things, this little detail made no difference.

“Right.” I sighed. “ So, you won’t be home for a while?”

“Six weeks at least.” He said quietly.

I tried to keep the disappointment down. I still wanted to see him, just to make sure he was okay. But I knew that was just the pregnancy hormones talking.

“Okay.” I said simply.

“How are you? Did you go see the doctor?” He asked softly and the question surprised me. I was half sure he had forgotten.

“No, not yet. Maybe in a couple of days.” I scratched at a small stain on my skirt. Lime juice and baking soda, I thought absently. That should get the stain out.  

“Its pretty late. You should go see the doctor, Leah. I.. I looked stuff up. They say you have to be on pre natal vitamins, folic acid and iron supplements  and you have to have  a balanced diet. I called Sana earlier and told her to speak to our doctor and get a diet chart for you. She said she’ll do it soon. So , please take care of yourself.”

Jungkook sounded entirely serious and as always my brain felt muddled, unable to process why he did the things he did. He had looked things up about the pregnancy and that implied some sort of interest, didn’t it? But ….. he had also kissed my sister so what was I supposed to do with this?

“I’ll call you.” I said shakily, drained. I was done for the day.

“Right.” He said softly. “ Namjoon hyung will be there tomorrow right? Should I talk to him? He could take you to the doctor.”

“No.. That’s fine. I’ll manage.” I said quickly.

“You’re sure?” There was genuine worry there.

“Yes.” I sighed.

“Alright.”

Silence again. I exhaled shakily.

“Should I hang up?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. Good night. ” He breathed.

“Good night, Jungkook.”

Click.

I stared at the wall, gently lowering the phone and placing it on the bed next to me.

She deserves better than me, his voice echoed in my head.

Well, so did I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Namjoon looked nothing like the twenty one year old college student I’d seen a decade ago. I knew he was a successful novelist and I’d read all his books. They were mostly philosophical or commentaries on life and emotions. I enjoyed the way he wrote : melancholic and deep but also clear and easy to understand. It was like staring at a particularly deep pool, being able to see all the way down to the bottom because of how clean the waters were. But once you put your feet in, the depth  always surprised you.

“That’s a lot of books.” I laughed, gripping the edge of the door frame as I watched him stumble under the weight of a crate full of bound books. Namjoon’s messy brown hair peeked over the top, and when he adjusted the huge load to stare at me, I caught sight of his handsome face stretched in a dimpled grin, eyes glinting.

“Research.” He grunted, straightening himself up and I watched the flex of his muscles as he carefully moved to place the crate down in one corner of the large bedroom that I’d had cleaned for him. It was on the west wing of the house, parallel to my own bedroom that I shared with Jungkook . Namjoon had spent three years working as a professor somewhere in Indonesia. And I knew that he’d spent a year backpacking all over Scandinavia. I stared at his tall strapping figure, watching him set up his writing space carefully, sorting out boxes and electronics.

He had driven here in his Range Rover and I knew all his clothes were still there in the back of the car.

“Should I ask the footmen to get your clothes?” I asked and he glanced up at me, frowning.

“Footmen?” He looked confused and I rolled my eyes.

“Namjoon…” I said chidingly and he grinned again.

“I keep forgetting you’re filthy rich. Makes me wish I should have beaten Jungkook to the game and bagged myself a rich wife.” He winked. It was a joke but there was no mistaking the hint of interest in his eye. Or maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part. Being married to Jungkook had definitely made me question the attraction I held for men so it felt good, having someone as handsome and whole and successful as Namjoon look at me like that.

“I’ll ask them to get your clothes. You should shower and settle in. We’ll meet for dinner tonight.” I said quickly and he nodded.

“You’re going to be okay heading back to your room? Let me know if you need help.” He pointed at my feet and I nodded. It was sweet of him to offer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dinner was surprisingly not awkward at all. Namjoon had a lot of interesting stories to share and I found myself clinging to ever word in rapt attention. He spoke about all the folklore he’d run into in different places, how he thought that no matter the culture, there were always some common things you could find in every one of them. He also talked a little about his next book, which he hadn’t named yet.

“It’s about second chances. Forgiving and moving on.” He said, taking another bite of his braised pork and moving to make another lettuce wrap.

“ Heavy stuff.” I said thoughtfully. “ Most of my writing is commercial. I just try to sell stuff to reluctant people. It’s not much but it keeps me occupied and it’s always nice to make money that you can call your own.”

“It’s because you don’t write for yourself. When you start writing for yourself, you can truly be who you are.” He said firmly and I nodded in agreement.

My writing in college had been vivid and bright and filled with life. But after the accident, it had turned grey and gloomy. The words seemed to drip with loss and longing and  I didn’t enjoy it, because it was a reminder that I was no longer the vibrant, attractive fulsome girl I once was.

“Maybe that’s what I’m afraid of.” I smiled. “ Being who I am. I would rather pretend I’m at least a little alright.”

Namjoon stared at me, thoughtful.

“You used to run track.” He said softly and I grinned.

“You remember.” I said, pleased.

“Of course I do and you were captain of the volleyball team as well. You used to organize all those hikes and treks and stuff.”

“Yes I did. I loved the outdoors.” I stared out of the window.

“Loved? Past tense?” He tilted his head. I stared at him, shaking my head.

“What kind of question is that.” I shook my head. “ Look at me. I’m not trekking anytime soon, considering how the last time ended.”

“You can still go out.” He frowned. “ When was the last time you went somewhere?”

I shook my head.

“Oppa…”

“Listen. You know me. You’ve known me for more than a decade. Do you honestly think I’m going to let you rattle around this old house like a ghost when you should be out there taking in all the sunshine you can get?” Namjoon placed his chopsticks down and linked his fingers together, staring at me.

I stared at him, and it was definitely there. The concern, the affection. Not that different from when I was sixteen and struggling to understand what pathos meant.

But now there was a definite undercurrent of attraction. Back then it had been childish, the wild crush of a teenager on her hot tutor but now, now I knew that he was so much more than just a hot guy.

“I’m pregnant.” I said softly, more a reminder to myself than anything else.

Namjoon grinned.

“We’ll steer clear of horse riding and alcohol. Anything else you can just let me know.”

“Are you serious?”

“As a heart attack.”

“I think I’m getting one now.” I deadpanned.

“Because you’re nervous.” He grinned.

“Because your dimples look too adorable.” I retorted.

He laughed.

“I’ll talk to Jihyun and we’ll go see your doctor first. Then we’ll go out and have  a nice picnic.”

“Namjoon, I can’t…”

“You don’t know that.” He said firmly.” You don’t know if you can or can’t because you’ve never tried. Listen I love picnics and I love going out and I want company. I’m agreeing to be stuck with you for a while and the least you can do is  give me company at a picnic. You know how big a loser I’d seem like if I went by myself?”

It was like I was sixteen again getting brow beaten into things by a tutor who just hated the idea of not getting his way. I shook my head fondly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fourteen weeks. Three and a half months.

I stared at the ultrasound, feeling a multitude of things, not all of them good. The baby was growing well and I had all my prescriptions filled. Namjoon had offered to come with me but I had refused. It was too intimate and he was still a stranger. I did take a photo of the ultrasound and sent it to Jungkook.

/Jungkook called me back almost at once.

“You went to the doctor?” He asked, sounding a little breathless.

“Were you running?” I asked, surprised.

“Not really. I’m supposed to be meeting one of the vendors for lunch and I thought I could walk to the restaurant but its farther than I thought.” He huffed.

“Everything’s fine. Baby’s due in July.” I said quietly.

“Summer. That’s good.” He replied. “Right?”

I hesitated. What did that mean? What did it matter when the baby would be born?

“Because winter would mean it being too cold . Summer we can take the baby out and stuff without worrying too much.” Jungkook said softly.

Oh.

“How’s work?” I asked awkwardly. The non conversation was getting tedious. There was just so much to talk about and it was obvious that both of us weren’t in the mood to actually ask or answer anything worthwhile.

“Did dad say something?” Jungkook asked quickly and I frowned.

“No. Why?”

“He wants me to join hyung in the corporate office. Leave the smelter units.” Jungkook sounded subdued and upset and I felt sympathy well inside me.

“Join him? As what?” I asked quietly.

“Head of the marketing department. I’ll be reporting to Seokjin hyung.” Jungkook had clearly started walking again, breath coming in little exhales.

“You don’t want it?” I asked confused, not sure if this was a good or bad thing.

“I mean… I have a degree in Business and Finance. Hyung’s the CEO , I was hoping I’d be the CFO.” Jungkook sighed, “ But I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t disown me altogether after what happened earlier.”

I stayed quiet and so did he.

“We need to talk . When you get back. You … I know you don’t like sharing about what you feel but you owe me an explanation.” I said firmly.

“I know. But I meant what I said when I left. I’m going to be there for you and the baby. You’re still my wife. That’s not going to change.”

I ran my fingers over the ultrasound.

“Did you also mean the part where you said you can’t stand me.” I said bitterly .

Jungkook didn’t reply.

“I… You know I didn’t. That was just something I said on impulse. I’m sorry. You’re… You’ve been nothing but good to me. And honestly, just the fact that you’re carrying my child is proof that I can definitely stand you.” He sounded just a little hoarse.

I bit my lips, staring up at the door when I heard a knock.

“Leah? I’m going to have some tea in the garden … You wanna come with?” Namjoon’s voice rang through the room and I froze.

“Oh.. Oh.. yes. I’ll be down.” I said quickly, nodding . Namjoon pointed at the phone and gave to thumbs up before moving back out.

“Was that Namjoon hyung?” Jungkook’s voice came over the line.

“Oh… yeah. Yeah, he’s… he wants me to have tea with him in the gardens.” I said awkwardly.

“That’s nice.  You should go. Get out of the house once in a while.” I didn’t know what to say to that so I stayed quiet.

After another minute or so of silence, Jungkook cleared his throat.

“ I got that form you sent in for me to fill, about my medical history. I’ll fill it up and mail it to the doctor’s office. Is that alright?” He asked hesitantly. “ If not I can fly back home. If they need me in person or something.”

I frowned a bit.

“They don’t need you in person, Jungkook of course not. Mail it, that’s fine.”

Another pause.

“This is really happening huh? A baby. We’re having a baby.” The exhaustion in his voice was palpable and I wondered.

“Yes. We are.” I said simply, not having anything else to elaborate on. It was happening. I was torn between pleasure at having something to look forward to and guilt at forcing Jungkook into a role he wasn’t ready for. But , for better or for worse we were married. The child was his. It would be a Jeon.

“ I’ll do better.” He said quietly. “ With the little one. I’ll be better.”

Tears these days, sprung up out of nowhere I thought miserably, furiously swiping at my face.

“Leah?” His voice came over the line. “ Leah are you there?”

“I need to go.”

“Alright.”

“Take care of yourself too, Jungkook.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loneliness .

It’s such an odd sort of feeling. Sometimes you get used to it so much, that you forget all about it.

It stays , a part of you that doesn’t make much of an impression on you until one day, suddenly it becomes unbearable,

Until you get a glimpse of what it’s like to not be lonely.

And then suddenly it’s like a deep chasm of longing and desperation just opens up inside you, craving love and warmth and company with a hunger that feels like it can never ever be satisfied.

I’d never paid much mind to the fact that my life revolved around myself, my writing and the flowers in the garden. Not until Namjoon had come, demanding to be felt and seen and heard .

 Namjoon hadn’t joked about not letting me rattle around the house. Our days were spent sprawled on the lawns of the Jeon estate, each of us occupied with our own writing . Namjoon typed away on his laptop while I preferred my leather bound notebook. It was oddly soothing, lying there on the clean cut grass, the sharp blades rubbing against my bare legs, as I leaned back against a tree trunk, watching Namjoon’s furrowed brows as he wrote.

Namjoon had changed in a lot of ways and yet he was still somehow just as I remembered, focused and often lost in his own head. He was a contemplative man and seemed to spend as much time reading as he did writing.

“There’s a poetry club that meets every Tuesday in Gangnam. Would you like to come with me?” He asked casually, about a week after he’d moved in and I considered it. The paparazzi had finally stopped hanging about the estate and Jungkook had called the previous night with a ETA for when he would be back.

Four weeks at most, he had said firmly and I wasn’t sure if I was feeling all that excited for his return anymore. Days spent with Namjoon were more exciting. He included me in every little thing and I was addicted.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was probably wrong. Namjoon was sweet and kind but I was still married. But on the wake of that thought came the bitter reminder that there was nothing between Jungkook and I. He was in love with someone else. Why should I deny myself the joy of Namjoon’s company over a relationship that really wasn’t a relationship at all.

Namjoon treated me as an equal, teased and flirted like there was nothing wrong with the two of us living like this, together and away from the rest of the world and I liked it. It made me feel like perhaps happiness wasn’t such an abstract, unreachable thing after all. That perhaps I could find happiness like this. In friendship and mindless conversation with a man who didn’t see me as a burden.

“I’d love that.” I said with a smile, letting my fingers knit together with his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Scorned wife getting even? We spotted the recently cheated on Mrs Jeon getting cozy with a strapping, buff hottie in a private restaurant last Friday and we can’t help but wonder if perhaps the reclusive lady is trying to get back at her husband by flashing her own boytoy.” Namjoon read cheerfully from his phone, looking way too entertained as he showed me the zoomed photo of us holding hands over the dinner table .

“That’s quite the description they’ve put for you.” I grimaced, sipping my chamomile tea slowly. My father and Mr. Jeon had reacted with their usual anger, threatening to sue the gossip rag for libel but it was pointless. They would keep being intrusive rats. There was nothing much to be done beyond enduring them.

“My agent’s losing his mind. He’s been at me trying to get me to agree to book signings and public appearances and he’s pissed that this is the way I get introduced to Seoul’s High society. Poor guy.” Namjoon chuckled and I felt guilt churn.

“I’m sorry, Namjoon. I really didn’t think they’d be following me. I mean… usually they’re only tailing Jungkook but I guess with the whole thing with Lisa , they’re just looking for ways to make things worse.” I said hesitantly.

Namjoon hesitated, staring at me for a few seconds.

“We never really talked about how things are.” He said quietly. “ Between you and Jungkook, that is.”

I ran the edge of my chopsticks on the brim of my soup bowl.

“ There’s not much to say. He’s…. He’s still sorting things out. With my sister.” I smiled a little. It ached a lot less, I realized with surprise.

“They loved each other deeply.” Namjoon said softly. “ that sort of thing doesn’t go away that quickly.”

I nodded.

“Of course. And I’ve been …understanding of that. I like to think.”

“But its unfair to you. You deserve to be loved too. Fully and well .”

I leaned back to stare at him.

“Are you offering?” I laughed, teasing.

Namjoon didn’t smile, leaning forward instead.

“Depends. Will you ever consider leaving him, for me?” He said seriously.

My heart turned over inside me.

“Namjoon…” I choked out and he reached out and lightly touched my palm.

“I know how marriages work with people like you, so I think I should draw boundaries now, if I want to keep myself safe.” He smiled a bit.

“I’m pregnant. With his child.” I swallowed and Namjoon’s brows went up.

“I thought it was your child. Yours and no one else’s.”

I felt torn, staring at him and wanting to say that I didn’t consider Jungkook as the child’s father, not in the way most people did. But I also remembered my husbands determined voice, the way he kept insisting that he wouldn’t neglect the child.

“Its not about Jungkook or the child, Leah. Its about you. You married Jungkook knowing he was in love with your sister and that tells me that you listen to your parents. You don’t want to stand up against the rules set by our parents and I don’t fault you for it. But I can’t let myself fall for you, knowing you’re going to be bound by your obligations to yurr family.”

I shook my head.

“Don’t fall in love with me.” I said easily. “ You’re right. My family comes first. And whether I want to be or not, I’m bound to Jungkook for life. So don’t fall in love with me.”

He smiled and nodded.

“Alright then.”

“Do you want to move out?” I asked bitterly and he looked genuinely surprised.

“What?”

“You clearly think I’m trying to seduce you or something when really, I-“

“Hey. Hey, Leah…no. No alright, that’s not what I meant. These two weeks, it was amazing. I love your mind and you’re easily one of my favorite people on this planet. We’re friends. And we’ll stay friends no matter what but you must know why I said what I said. You’re a beautiful woman and I’m a lonely guy.” He smiled a bit, “ I just don’t want to make it hard for myself when you want me to leave.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook arrived back in Korea on a cold, rainy morning and against my better judgment I let Jihyun and Lisa drag me to the airport. It was some kind of publicity stunt, that much I could fathom but I didn’t know if Jungkook was in on it. I hadn’t spoken to him in a few days, he had been busy wrapping things up with the new branch in Japan.

It was another bad day for my leg and I found myself leaning heavily on my sister, her arm wrapped around my waist as we walked over to the waiting area. I could already identify a few men with cameras staring at us discreetly. Paparazzi . I saw them move their cameras down to the now obvious curve of my stomach and I swallowed. I could already imagine the articles wondering who the father was : Jungkook or Namjoon.

“You alright?” My sister asked worriedly and I nodded, not looking at her. Lisa hadn’t been discouraged by initial refusal to speak to her, keeping at it till I finally caved and let her visit me at the estate. She didn’t love Jungkook anymore, she insisted . It was over. They were over . She wanted to give her marriage a chance. Very sweet and nice, that. And it was obvious that she wasn’t lying, what with the way she and her husband kept

Jihyun and Lisa had made amends with each other and it annoyed me that they seemed to be madly in love with each other all of a sudden. Like the past couple months hadn’t even happened. I stared down at my wedding ring feeling stricken. Was it unfair that I resented them for this? Why hadn’t the two of them thought of this, of breaking things off and moving on before the damn wedding. And then maybe Jungkook and I would have had a real marriage too.

Bitter and hormonal was definitely not a good combination I thought with a wince, fingers splaying on the curve of my lower belly. It was so odd, being pregnant. The extra weight somehow foreign but also …so soothing. The last scan had shown that I had an anterior placenta and that meant that I may not feel movements for a while. I didn’t mind, having found comfort in just tracing my palm over the bare skin of my stomach.

“There he is.” Jihyun’s voice made me look up and ure enough there he was.

It wasn’t the longest we’d been away from each other and yet, I felt my heart leap at the sight of him. He truly was a very handsome man, I thought miserably. And no matter what people said, it was infinitely more difficult to hate your husband when he looked that good.

Jungkook’s eyes caught mine first and I saw the way his gaze dipped straight to the curve of my bump. Even from the ten feet between us , I saw hi lips part in surprise , eyes going wide. It probably hadn’t felt real to him till now, I thought biting my lips as he carefully handed his bags over to the two chauffeurs who had rushed to help him.

Jihyun wasted no time in bounding over and hugging his little brother tight.

I glanced at the man who had been taking photos, pleased to see the surprise in his face. Was he hoping that the CEO would punch his little brother in the face ? Idiots. Lisa stayed by my side and I exhaled shakily.

“ Dad told me something and I want to know if its true.” I said quietly.

She didn’t reply.

I took a deep breath, still watching the two brothers embrace each other, Jungkook’s face buried in Jihyun’s shoulders. I could see him shaking just a little and I felt my gut clench.

“He told me that …that you never told him that you wanted to marry Jungkook. That when he suggested Jihyun you agreed at once.”

She looked away.

“Lets talk about this later.” She said quietly.

“Does Jungkook know?” I demanded. “ Because he spent that first month of our marriage cursing our father out for forcing you to marry Jihyun. Forcing. And dad says that he did no such thing. So what is the truth.”

Lisa didn’t respond.

“Jungkook  knows.” She said finally, “ I told him… the truth. When we were in Japan.” and I laughed in disbelief.

“Was that before or after you kissed him?” I snapped and she looked genuinely pained.

“Leah, I never meant to hurt you or Jungkook.” She said shakily.

“My God.” I shook my head. “ I always knew you were a selfish, greedy person but I didn’t take you for being a liar and a deceitful coward. ”

She stared down at her feet.

“Yes. I’m greedy..”  She whispered “ And you may not understand it now but I did it for you and for Jungkook.”

She moved away and I watched as Jihyun pulled away from Jungkook, still holding his arm as he held a hand out to Lisa. The smile on her face seemed genuine as she took her husband’s hand and I shifted my gaze to mine. Jihyun and Lisa walked away to their car and Jungkook stepped closer to me, his face stoic and impossible to read.  

“Leah.” He said quietly, dark hair falling into even darker eyes.

I didn’t reply, merely stepping up to gently press my palms on either side of his face.

“Welcome back.” I said softly, before reaching up and kissing him full on the lips. Jungkook’s entire body went stiff as a board at the gesture but he didn’t pull away , thankfully. It felt cold and impersonal and barely lasted a few seconds but hopefully the man had gotten a few good shots. I closed my eyes for effect, running my thumb over the clean shaven curve of his jaw, before pulling away slowly.

I peered over Jungkook’s shoulder, just to make sure and sure enough, the man was moving closer to get better angles. I smiled a little. Good. That should hold these vultures off for a while. I turned back to Jungkook and his eyes followed my gaze catching sight of the man with the camera and his entire body seemed to go stiff with anger.

“Why did you do that?” He growled and I bit my lips.

“You know why.” I made to turn away but he gripped my arm, hard. So hard that I winced.

“What are you doing?” I asked panicking, glancing at the man who was still watching.

“Since when did you start pandering to those pigs?” He whispered angrily and I flinched.

“Your father wants to introduce you to the Board of directors this weekend.” I whispered quietly, “Most of them read the news Jungkook. The last news about us can’t be about you cheating on me.”

“That’s my business. And I’ll deal with it. We’re not doing this, Leah. I’m not putting on some kind of act just to please my fucking father.” He looked furious and the taut line of his jaw made me flinch.

“I’m sorry.” I said quickly, guilt churning inside me. He was right. I shouldn’t have done that without talking to him about it but I knew that the scandal with him and Lisa wouldn’t go down well with the Board. And the Board generally had a direct say on who got hired to top managerial positions.

“I just want you to get that job.” I said softly and he stared at me, stiff body relaxing marginally.

“Let’s just go home. Yeah?” Jungkook said tiredly and I bit my lips.

Less than fifteen minutes since he came home and we were already at odds with each other.

The most ill suited couple in the universe, I thought with a grimace as he stepped right next to me and wrapped a hand around my waist.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a very terrible tendency to forget taking my pills. So I generally left them by the bedside table. Stepping out of the shower, I found Jungkook sitting on my side of the bed, examining the bottle carefully. I tugged on the white t shirt I had on, suddenly embarrassed because it was Jungkook’s

I’d asked to borrow a couple over the phone,  simply because I no longer fit into my own and the ones I’d ordered weren’t here yet. Jungkook had agreed but still, it felt awkward when he was wearing the exact same t shirt himself.

He turned around when I moved to the vanity to put on moisturizer for the night and through the reflection I saw his gaze linger on my attire.

“Aspirin? Didn’t know that was part of pre natal vitamins?” He said seriously and I blinked., surprised. I turned around to stare at him, licking my lips nervously.

“How much research did you do?” I asked, genuinely curious and he flushed.

“I had a lot of free time. “ He said defensively. “ These six weeks.”

I frowned, before turning back to grab the small pot of night cream from the draw.

“My blood pressure is a little elevated. My mother had pre eclampsia with my sister and they just want to be careful.”

“Pre eclampsia?” Jungkook’s voice was fraught with nervousness and I turned back to see him almost white as a sheet.

“Jungkook…I.. its nothing serious.” I said hastily and his jaw went even more taut.

“What do you mean its not serious? Do you even know what it is?” He demanded.

“Do you?” I snapped back, annoyed at being treated like I was an errant child.

“I know that it’s the leading cause of maternal death during birth.” He all but shouted and I flinched.

“Okay…that’s only in extreme cases.” I held both my hands up. “ it’s a bit too premature to be panicking over that.”

Jungkook opened his mouth, as though to argue but then seemed to calm himself down.

“When’s your next check up?” He asked casually.

“This weekend. But its okay, Namjoon is-“

“I’ll come with you. I.. I want to come with you.” He said quietly.

I stared at him, feeling too awkward to outright refuse.

“You have the meeting with the Board. This weekend.” I said softly.

“So?” Jungkook shrugged. “ I’ll just tell them your appointment and health is more important to me. Besides isn’t that what you wanted? The reason you kissed me at the airport? You want the board to think we’re happily in love. I think that would be an excellent way to show them that. ”

Jungkook stared at me , head tilted curiously, daring me to deny what I had old him myself.

Sighing, I nodded.

“Alright.” I managed a weak smile. “ You can come with me.”

“Namjoon hyung left today, you said?” He asked casually.

I nodded.

“I should send him a bottle of his favorite wine for taking care of you so well. You look good.”

“He did it because he wanted to. Because he enjoyed it.” I retorted, his words rubbing me just a little wrong.

Jungkook smiled although it was more of a smirk.

“I’m sure he did. But I’m here now. And I did promise you that I’ll be there for you.”

“For the baby.” I said sharply, not liking the way he looked. The things he seemed to b implying.” You promised me you’d be there for the baby.”

“And right now, said baby is inside you.” He grinned now and I felt my pulse quicken at the sight. Jungkook didn’t smile with me. It wasn’t something that happened. At all. “ So I’ll have to take care of you.”

I stared at him, biting my lips.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. “My sister told you she never wanted you so now you want to start fucking me again?”

It was cruel. A terrible thing to say and I regretted it at once.

The smile faded.

“What?”

“ I…fuck Jungkook.” I groaned.

“is that what you think of me? Need I remind you that you were the one who came to me all those months ago? I never…. I would never force myself on you, Leah.” He looked like he’d been stabbed and I heart clenched.

“Jungkook , I…”

“I’ve been honest. Through all of this I’ve been honest to you. I lied to your sister, I lied to my father and fuck I even lied to myself. But I’ve been honest with you , Leah.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?!” I cried out, despairing. “ You were in love with my sister and –“

“And she wanted to marry my brother.” Jungkook yelled, standing up and turning to me, eyes blazing. “  All along. Know what she told me Leah? That it was never supposed to be me. That five years of us being together…it was because she was in love with my brother and she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone. She started dating me to make him jealous and when she saw that I spent so much time with Jihyun she stuck around . So she could spend time with him.” He shook his head.

I stared at him, horrified.

“Jungkook….”

“I thought I could never feel more pathetic than when I stood there listening her tel me how she never felt a single thing for me. But wow…. Thank you for proving me wrong. Because right now, standing here begging you to let me a part of the child we both made knowing you only see me as some kind of pervert just looking to get into your bed….” he shook his head,” I feel worse. I feel dirty.”

My throat went dry.

“You know what?” He moved to the closet and to my horror he grabbed a bunch of his clothes and a small suitcase. “ I’m going to go get a Hotel room.”

“What? No… Jungkook, wait!” I rushed to his side, grabbing his arm but he threw my hand off quickly.

“Ask Namjoon hyung to move back in. Better yet, tell dad the truth. That you think I’m disgusting. That the thought of me being in your life makes you sick. Tell him you want a divorce and-“

“It’s a girl.” I exhaled sharply.

Jungkook went completely still.

I swallowed, my heart racing so fast I couldn’t catch my breath.

I took a deep breath and moved to lightly touch his back, fingers splaying on the broad expanse of his shoulder blade .

He turned around at that and my heart lurched at the tear tracks down his cheeks. He looked wrecked.

“ A girl?” He whispered.

I bit my lips, nodding.

“We’re having a little girl.” He looked a little shell shocked.

“Yes. And hopefully, she isn’t as dramatic as her father.” I said softly, grabbing the dozen or so t shirts he’d pulled out of the closet and pushing them back into the shelves.

Jungkook didn’t protest, still staring into space, probably just taking the news in. I felt awful for one second because I hadn’t even cared all that much when the technician had told me.

I closed the closet door and moved back to the vanity trying to process all that had been said in the last five minutes, only to feel a headache come on. I would think about it tomorrow.

I finished braiding my hair when Jungkook’s voice came from the bed.

“If you don’t want me to intrude into your space you can tell me. I’m okay with only getting information about the baby.” He said quietly.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

I turned to him slowly. i took a deep breath, considered that what i was going to say would likely change everything between us. But i had to. 

I’ve always been honest with you Leah, He had said and I decided that perhaps he deserved some honesty in return.

“I think I’m in love with Namjoon.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : these two are such a mess istg. 

ooh i don’t have a taglist for this so please comment if you wanna be on it. 

[yanderemommabean]

Mermaid? Yandere mermaid?! Shake mermaid (merman) yandere?! Protective, bitey, siren boi?!

You stir in the waters slowly, feet kicking to keep you afloat while looking to the sky as the sun begins to set. You didn’t want to leave the serene waters, the cooling sensation on your skin mixed with the near weightless feeling made you feel inner peace that didn’t come with everyday life.

You’ve been here for hours, skin warm and definitely burnt to an extent (sunscreen has never worked for you, no matter what, you always set sun damage) so you should at least give in and take a good nap right? Let your cells heal what they can before the burning sensation really kicks in and you regret ever existing at the same time as the sun?

You shake your head and splash back into the waters, wanting to be care free for just a bit longer while your friends pack up and clean. The waters here are secluded, deep and still during the day, save for a few small fish that pass by your feet or some bugs that won’t fuck off from landing on you.

“Dude! Seriously, you know swimming at night is dangerous!” one calls out, waving to try and get your attention, but you just dip your head back and let the water block out the noise of their nonsense. Yeah ok bad idea for your ears, but hey short time solution! You don’t want to go back to the crowded camper with noises that make your skin bristle and people who don’t understand low-social battery. You don’t hate your friends, no, but they seem to think they always know what’s best for you and having alone time wasn’t on that list.

Backstroking, you ignore their growing cries to get you back on land, something about the fish aren’t safe at this time or some bullshit. Whatever, you’ll get to them in a minute. You just wanted to relax a bit more before putting on a smile and pretending to give a shit about the festivities they had planned for tomorrow.

OK maybe you’re cranky from no good food but hey, they’re the ones who can’t cook.

While basking in the hunger induced anger you created, a tug was felt on your ankle. Wet, slimy almost, firm grip tugging you under the waves. You suck in a breath in panic, a yelp being cut off while your head goes under and you take in water. Below the surface, in the now darkened depths with scattered moonlight, you meet the eyes of a creature who drains the color from your face.

Big, black eyes, curiously looking at you. Human like, finger- like appendages grasping your calf and tugging you closer. You’re horrified, fighting to break free only for another arm to come up and grab you, holding you under. The beast's eyes are wide with wonder and awe as they hold onto you, letting go abruptly and letting you rocket back to the surface.

Coughing and sputtering, you feel your lungs burning while trying to call for help, your friends rushing to the waters in a rescue attempt. “Help! S-somethings got me!” you cry out, seeing the whites of your friends eyes in a slight moment of hope, only to be yanked under again, this time more aggressively. You clench your eyes shut, water surrounding you no longer comforting, but suffocating. Webbed hands come up to cup your face, lacing something around your neck. You hold your breath as you kick, however it’s useless. The zero-gravity effect makes any actual possibility of a painful contact a fantasy. You soon wear down, dread overcoming you as your body forces open your mouth to try and take one last breath. Eyes shooting open, you are met with the black voids of the creature before you.

And you’re in awe at the fact you can breathe. You, a human underwater, can breathe. No, no you’re just dying! You’re just hallucinating from lack of oxygen and are about to pass on! Right? No chance is given for you to gather yourself, behind you another being wraps their arms around you and begins to swim downwards to the abyss below, moonlight dissipating into nothing.

The last thing your eyes can make out are the kicking feet and splashing arms of your friends searching for you, helpless and horrified.

“Shh shh” One shushes, cupping your face as you’re brought to a small cave. Your chest was glowing a bright blue, illuminating some of the area as you were laid upon a sandy bank, like that of a grotto. Their heads poke out, watching you gather your senses to the best of your ability, kicking the sand as you cry out for help (in vain, but hope can cause a person to do crazy things).

“N-No danger” a voice croaks out, wincing at the echo your terrorized voice made. They didn’t like knowing you were scared, and the rest of the pod felt the same. More and more heads pop out of the water to observe you, wondering why on earth you were so scared.

Your chest felt like a drum, tight and beating much too loudly. They can TALK? Oh fuck they can talk- and in your language! What the hell is happening?! You just wanted an extra five minutes to swim, that’s all you fucking wanted! Why? Why is life doing this to you?! What is happening?!

You clench your hair and try to stop the ongoing panic attack, tears rolling down your cheeks in frustration and confusion, building up and coming to a head. You let out one more anguished sob before falling to the sand, passing out entirely.

“They’re scared, they don’t know what’s going on” one murmurs, crawling up to the bank and petting your hair back. “We definitely need to explain ourselves, but they can’t take much more stress. What’s our plan?”

The pod talks in chitters and clicks, debating on how to care for you and how to explain their actions. The crystal on your chest thrums with each passing second, indicating your current state of health while the merfolk observe and debate. Some fingers come up to play with your hair, or to feel your soft skin as you are moved to a more comfortable area they could still reach.

They’ve waited a long time to find a new member to join their species, magic being the only way they can reproduce, and seeing a cute, delicate human just waiting in their territory was too good of an opportunity to pass up. It’s a sign! You’re meant to be with them, become one of them and live a new life in the deep!

Of course you wouldn’t exactly take the news well. You passed out just from hearing them talk, you wouldn’t exactly be in a state to comprehend their needs and their dedication to keeping you with them. But they’re prepared! A newcomer is needed, for many reasons.

They survive by having bonded mates, yet cannot reproduce without the help of magic. And to be lonely and have no one to bond with is killing them, literally. They have to have a lover to survive, a second (and in some cases, a third) half to stay alive and well and merry!

One of the merfolk will choose you as their bonded mate, but only if you don’t try to leave. A mate leaving will end a life quicker than a harpoon in some cases! Other cases, it’s agonizingly slow and painful. They can’t risk you, a lovely specimen, leaving and dwindling their numbers even more. They need to make a plan to keep you, whatever it takes.

You’ll learn to love your new marine life! Just give them a chance, will you?

(-Mommabean, hi I wrote this at 4 am and on little sleep! Tell me what you think! )

[crybabyalexxx]

The One Where Peter Parker Is A Sub

Sub!Peter Parker X Reader

Summary: The reader finds out that Peter is a sub and she loves every second of it. What could go wrong with a little teasing?

Warnings: submissive peter parker, dom reader, smut of course, BOTH ARE 18+, sex in school, unsafe sex (wrap before you tap)

A/N: I haven't written fanfic in a good MINUTE so I'm so sorry if it's not as good. And I also have never written a peterXreader, yup first timer over here. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

Word Count: 2k

When you first met Peter Parker, he was a shy and awkward kid. He only really has one friend, Ned, and they were basically inseparable. You and Peter both had English class together and he drew you in like a moth to a flame. It was the little things he did, like the way his eyebrows would rise when he was suddenly called on when he was surprised. The small smile he would make when he got an answer right, then a lightbulb went off in your head.

Peter Parker is a sub.

Of course, you were more than eager to test your little theory, but in order to do that, you had to actually talk to the kid. So you did what any reasonable teenage girl would do, you talked to him. After a few weeks of small talk and occasional flirting, Peter was stuck to you like glue. It was as if you were the missing puzzle piece for the duo. Ned and Peter adored you and couldn't believe a person like you would want to actually hang out with them, you weren't shy at all. You stood up for people in need, you stood up for them. You were quick with your comebacks, you were extremely funny and nerdy. Not to mention extremely sassy, god you were so sassy and Peter felt intoxicated every time he was with you.

Peter wondered if Ned felt this way with you too if everyone felt this way when they were with you. He wouldn't blame them if they did, but he felt a pang of jealousy every time he thought about other people liking you the way he did. How could he not like you? You were stunning. The way you carried yourself was one of the things he loved most. Like everyone else in school, he couldn't stop looking at you when you first walked into the classroom. Not only because you were absolutely gorgeous but because his spidey senses went crazy the second he saw you. He didn't understand why at first. Maybe it was just a fluke, but then after a few weeks, he noticed it would happen every single time he saw you. It's not like he was complaining though. He had the hardest time focusing when you were in class together though.

He could feel your eyes on him every time, and when his eyes would meet yours you wouldn't look away, you'd just smile and he would blush. He blushed so much with you and you loved it. It was small things that would make the brown-haired boy blush. Like when you’d complement his outfits and the way his biceps look bigger when he wore his blue button-up shirt.

Then there was the touching. Peter thought he would pass out every time you touched him. It started out small, placing your hand on his arm when you would laugh at something he said. Or how you would play with his hair when he'd put his head down while studying. Then he noticed how you would touch him in other places that got his heart racing. You would brush your fingers against his, or when you whispered to him you were lingering a little longer and he could feel your lips brush against his ear. Just that would make his head spin. He didn't know if you knew what you did to him or if you were completely oblivious. He sometimes wishes you would do more though. He would imagine what it would be like to finally have you, to feel your lips against his, your hips flushed against his. The way you’d moan his name. Peter would often get carried away with his thoughts about you, and he didn't care. He was drunk on you and he loved it.

“Hey, Peter?” Peter was lost in his thoughts again and you hated to interrupt him in his thoughts because he looked so cute to you.

Peter jumped slightly, not realizing you had sat beside him. “Oh um, hey y/n! Didn't realize you'd be here so soon.” Peter was slightly flustered from the thought he had of you seconds before you showed.

You noticed the way his blush was slowly making its way down his neck and chest, and how his pupils were blown, and how he was breathing a little harder. He’s horny.

You giggled softly and decided to have a little fun with him today. “Well, i could leave if you'd like and come back-”

“No! I mean, not that’s okay you're here and we should erm, I mean I don't want you to leave.” Peter couldn't seem to stop rambling, and you saw how much the poor boy needed help, and you couldn't just sit there and not help someone in need.

You grabbed Peter's face with both your hands and leaned in close. Peter felt like the entire room froze. He looked down to your lips and prayed that you would kiss him right now because he's been dreaming of it. And you almost did until you heard him whimper, and all you could do was smile.

“Peter Parker, did you just…” you leaned in to whisper into his ear, your lips brushing his ear, “whimper?” You could feel his breath fan against your neck and shoulder. You leaned away from him to find him with his eyes closed and lips parted. When he finally opened his eyes he found you smiling at him. His eyes went wide as he realized what had just happened. “Y/N I am so sorry I don't know what I was thinking!” Before Peter could continue, you stood up and pulled him with you. “Follow me, Parker.”

You pulled Peter out of the library and into an empty classroom. You were glad that school was out and there was practically no one in the halls, which meant you wanted Peter to scream for you. You locked the door as soon as Peter walked in and covered the window just in case anyone decided to pass by.

Peter could feel the hairs on his stand-up straight, he was breathing hard and he could feel the blood rush down and his pants get tighter. He heard the door lock and turned to see you staring back at him. His spidey senses were going off like crazy, and although he knew he wasn't in any type of danger he still felt like prey.

You pushed him into the chair behind the teacher's desk and straddled his hips. “Tell me to stop and I will. Do you want me to stop?” You slowly grind down on him, feeling him grow from beneath you.

Peter’s head was dizzy and he wanted nothing more than for you to continue with what you were doing. His head rolled back when you ground down against him again, his hands flew to your ass to feel the roll of your hips. “Please don’t stop.” He swore this is what heaven felt like.

That was all you needed to hear. You continue to grind down as you start to kiss him. You'd imagine how it would feel to kiss Peter, but you never imagined them to be this soft. If it weren't for the fact that you were in a classroom right now, you would kiss him for hours. You had to pull yourself away from him if you wanted this to go any further.

“Take your clothes off, pretty boy.” Peter seemed to be eager because, by the time you were down to your underwear, Peter was already naked in front of you. The little smirk you gave him made him blush and you moved closer to him.

“I could stare at you all day, but I really want to taste you right now.” You pushed him back down on the chair as you got on your knees. You couldn't believe how massive he was, but you always did love a challenge.

Peter could feel himself grow, the way you were looking at him had him shaking in seconds. He just wanted you to touch him already. The worst part is that his senses were going crazy. He could hear how fast your heart was beating, he could still taste your lips from moments earlier. He could smell you, you must have been soaking and all he wanted to do was please you and let you do whatever you wanted. He just needed you to touch him already.

“Y/N, please.” Peter sounded like a wreck and that is exactly how you wanted him.

“Please what? Use your words, pretty boy.” A little teasing never hurt anybody.

“Please just touch me already! Anything just please I-” Peter’s head fell back as your mouth and tongue finally touched his aching red tip. The way you were sucking and licking was nothing he has ever felt before.

You could feel him shake as you continued to suck his tip. You noticed how tense he seemed as if he was holding himself back. You decided to push a little bit more of him inside your mouth. This seemed to knock the wind out of him because he came leaning forward as if someone punched him. You looked up at him as innocently as possible and couldn't help the moan that came out of you.

Peter swore you were trying to kill him, then when you moaned his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he thought he saw stars. Peter could feel the way your tongue moved against him, the way it was pressed against that certain vein. The way your moaning sent vibrations and he didn't think it could get better than that.

The way Peter was gripping the chair made you weak in the knees. If you weren't already on your knees, they would have given out. You looked up at him and couldn't resist the urge to run your hands up his abs and play with his nipples, you felt him twitch in your mouth.

“Y/N I'm- ung- close!” Peter could feel himself get closer to his release and god he wanted it. “Please ride me, please y/n.” Peter could feel the way you smirked with your lips wrapped around him.

“How can I say no to that?” You get up and gently slide him inside you. You both moan as he stretches you. As you start to slowly ride him, you decide to hide his moans by kissing him. Peter wanted to stay inside you forever.

You wrap your fingers around his throat and he gasps. As you ride him you lean closer to his ear and whisper, “fuck me, Parker.”

Peter let out a low growl and wrapped his arms around you as he pounded into you. You had to cover his mouth with your hand suddenly aware that you were in school.

“Peter, I'm coming,” you whisper to him. And as soon as he heard those words Peter was coming inside you, igniting your own orgasm.

You and Peter help each other ride out your orgasms and stay there for a couple more seconds. The two of you finally decide to get dressed.

“So, is this like...a one-time thing?” Peter dreaded the question, but he had to ask.

“Do you want it to be?” You look at Peter and you could see the panic in his eyes.

“No! I mean, no. I really want to do this again. And then maybe some more after that...please.” Peter could feel his blush creeping up on him, especially with that smile you're giving him.

“Don’t worry Spidey, I want to keep doing this too.” You giggle softly to yourself. He’s the cutest.

“Okay good because- wait, did you call me spidey?”

“You aren't so good at keeping secrets from me Parker.” And with that, you walk out of the room with Peter hot on your heels.

[genshingarbage]

I’m having terrible cramps and PMS here and in need of comfort and food here 😭😭😭 how do the members of DCKZ and 4NEMO deal with their s/o when they’re on their period/PMS-ing

Hello Miss Myrx, It’s lovely to see you in our ask box again my dear~ I hope your cramps start to ease up soon! Hang in there!! - Mod Kaeya

Diluc

- Diluc doesn’t really have any female or female born figures in his life except for maybe Jean and even she wouldn’t talk to him about things like this so he’s probably as clueless as most guys for for the most part…until you

- Yeah he’s lost on this, your mood swings are completely wack and honestly it scares him a bit how fast they can switch sometimes, he’s honestly worried he’s done something wrong at first

- Once you explain awhile later he’s very understanding about it but he’s gonna ask a lot of questions

- After that he’s gonna carry around toiletries for you in a satchel, he doesn’t care what others think if you need them you need them and adventuring isn’t kind to those unprepared

- He knows when to back off when you’re in need of alone time, he’ll just sneak you a glass of juice when you’re not looking for something sweet for you to drink later and work in his office until you need him

- If you need him closeby he’ll probably force himself to cuddle you until you’re feeling better

- He’ll listen to all your rants and offer advice on the subjects with his blunt logic

- Has probably invented new drinks purely off of your cravings inspiring him alone

Childe

- He’s wayyyy ahead of you

- The guy’s stocking up on your favorite foods and extra blankets about a week ahead of any sort of signs of pmsing

- Childe has a looooot of siblings and a fair few of them are girls so he’s hella used to how those with uteruses be unlike our fair master Diluc

- Need some random ass snack you’re not sure of exactly but know you need something salty or something? Say no more he’s there

- For once when he wakes up way before you he leaves the curtains closed and makes sure the bed is warm

- Don’t expect him to cook something though because I’m convinced flavors are going to range from so underdone it’s still moving to charcoal but slightly burned

- Which is funny because he can be a good cook just not when he wants to

- He’a actually blackmailed people before but we’re not gonna get into that he’s a good guy

- Will ABSOLUTELY Dote on you

Kaeya

- Honestly might skip town till you’re done if he’s pissed you off before your period because he’s so hung up on the “people are fucking scary on their period” aspect of periods

- Changes your sheets to dark ones, buys you slightly thicker underwear the works

- If he so much as senses that you’re going to be hostile though he’ll probably avoid you though

- His gut reaction to Hostility from someone is to stir the pot and stoke the flames so he’s quickly figured that it’s not really a good idea to be around you right now, especially if he’s in a cheeky mood

- If he does stick around though he’s a little quiet, occasionally grabs your hand and gives it a soft squeeze to let you know he’s still here but he knows you’d literally rather kill a hypostasis solo than be touched right now

- Always brings a cute little gift when it’s over, it’s usually anything from a little teddy bear to chocolate

- The best guy to ask to get you out of stuff because it’s always something suave that you’re angry you didn’t think of as an excuse before now, either that or he just straight up pulls rank so you can chill

Zhongli

- Would definitely be the one to have the random long serious discussions about random shit with because he could pretty talk about anything and approach it with that beautiful serious analytical mind no matter how silly it may seem to you

- You straight up talked for 2 hours about the intricacies of celebrity drama and some how he knew who every single person you brought up was and actually corrected you on what went down

- Who needs a hot water bottle when you have the most comfortable Archon to ever exist by your side, dutifully holding you through the night

- Knows exactly what pain killers are the beat for this sort of thing, and the fay you start he just crops up with towels, feminine products and all sorts of teas and painkillers you’d never even heard of

- His time as a woman must’ve helped honestly because as soon as you drank the tea he’s prepared and laid back on the lil bed fort he made for you in the livingroom the cramps are fucking gone and you’re so relaxed it’s god damn orgasmic

- Would probably tell you to sleep through it as much as you can since that’s kind of his own default setting for this sort of thing

- Don’t be embarrassed around him he’s seen it all, lived through it all before

- If you’re dizzy whilst the two of you are iut he’s gonna just pick you right up and carry you back to your house

- He doesn’t get hurt if you snap at him just smiles reassuringly and waits patiently for you to feel better, however long that may be

Venti

- He’s uh

- Not gonna be the BEST help because 90% of his impulse control is you so when it comes to taking care of you he’s not sure what to do

- But he’s adorable so you’re mostly okay with watching him scramble about, bring you something completely useless and then go back to scrambling

- He’ll sing to you if he thinks that might help

- Sometimes he’ll just go on a tangent serenading you with poems and make words rhyme with stupid things on perfect to make you laugh

- You’re scary when you’re in a bad mood though

- It’s alright though because if anything it gives him excuses to joke that he’s dating a dragon in disguise

- Eventually learns to just ask what you need but it’ll take him a sec

- If you need space he leaves the room…and then sits right by the door to keep a watch on you just in case

Xiao

- He smelt the change in your scent long before you even started showing signs and put 2 and 2 together

- Just kinda thankful you’re not pregnant gonna be real—

- Not really sure how to handle human PMSing but he’s 100000% the one you could absolutely rip into and he wouldn’t bat at an, if anything it’s charming that you actually think you could offend him for a change but he of course doesn’t say that out loud

- He’s scathing enough when you’re not on your period the last thing he wants to do is accidentally make you cry though he won’t admit that

- In the past he’s found it’s helped his mortal companions to exercise when they had cramps so he offers to train with you…it’s less training and more “I’m going to teach you to be able to defend yourself better because I don’t trust your ability to not be dumb”

- After the training if you’re still having problems he’ll take you to his secret spot but only if they’re damn near incapacitating because as much as he understands the human body he’s not only a guy he’s an Adepti, he by default thinks your pain is something you should be able to get through on your own

- Not that he doesn’t appreciate when he can help you with this, he really does

- He only goes to his secret spot rarely so no one knows where it is…until now. It’s a cavern with a lot of hotsprings inside he discovered with a fellow adepti almost millennia ago, it’s remained untouched all this time so the water’s still fresh

- Even if you don’t get in the water just laying down on the rocks helps because they’re so warm and the steam from the hot springs is relaxing as hell

- Basically, ya ask for a hot water bottle and he promptly gives you an entire underground volcano gg

Kazuha

- Not gonna be the best at this but he’s the best at taking social queues he just chooses to ignore them unless that person’s important to him or his plans

- So when your moods start switching he starts complementing them accordingly to avoid angering you

- If your irritable he’s a little more standoffish to people so they’re less inclined to stay, if you’re manic he’s a lot more relaxed, if you’re feeling emotional he keeps you to himself and tries to help you get it all out before seeing anyone

- Would probably just default to asking Beidou if he doesn’t know something to avoid embarrassing you about it

- He’ll play with your hair a lot just so you can feel his touch without if being overwhelming

- Could play you a soft tune or two but he’s lowkey worried that might set off a migraine for you so he doesn’t offer but will do if asked

- Best hugs, would reccomend

- Also you’ve singlehandedly got the fastest delivery boy in the west so cherish the fact as soon as the words Mint Jelly leave your mouth he’s gone and back again

Special Guest: Aether

- You’re talking to one of the only guys who maybe more capable than Zhongli I’m gonna be real

- The fucker’s spent 3,000 years with a woman and I’ll eat a hat if he hasn’t encountered a period at least once, alien, time traveler or not he knows women better than most might think

- Soon as you start your period he makes to head back to where you guys stay the most, be that Liyue or Mondstat and he checks you all into a hotel no questions asked

- Absolutely nothing but the best for his baby

- He’ll still need someone out on the field but he sends a different team of people to go explore around the city and just tells everyone this is a brief break to recuperate

- If there’s one thing Aether can do it’s tell jokes and ridiculously funny stories and when you’re down so he yanks you into bed and starts talking

- You’re used to him loosing focus and having a really roundabout way of doing things so it’s not really a surprise when he dumps like 10 different types of pad and tampon and then pulls out a magma slime wrapped in a thick leather bag

- It actually makes for a really badass hot water bottle and a stress ball at the same time

- You’ve named the slime Stevie and it sleeps by your bed every night now

-Thank you for your service Stevie

- He makes arguably the best pastries of the group so don’t be surprised if every morning you wake up to a plate of sugary stuff for breakfast to curb the stupidness that is periods

- Definitely the sweetest himself I’m not gonna lie

- He’ll talk shit despite that if you’re feeling cheeky though, your banter could last for days