#but you can like my post if you agree

[dubulgeandtaebooty]

Tw vent and death (and a little bit of family business)

I was 10 years old when my brother was fatally killed by gang members. Even 8 years later, I could still vividly recall the while entire event like a videotape. The cries of help, the blood pouring out of his body that would drip all over the floor, the knife that killed him, the laughter of his killers as they run away hoping that they wouldn’t be found, the sound of ambulance coming to take him to the hospital as I told him that I loved him as police officers took me away from him. His last words to me was “Takashi, I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry about me. Go home.”

He died on his way to the hospital at just aged 14. He was sending drugs to Manchester, Liverpool, all over the UK, just to make some ends meet. My dad was abusive to us and our mom and so she turned into an alcoholic and he would leave us for another woman. This would be how we would have food into the table. He would earn some money so he would pay the rent that mom would purposely forget to do so. However, one of those days he was caught and had to go to prison for few months. Because he didn’t do his job, they tracked him down and killed him. I saw it all.

A month after he passed away, my mom went along too. Guess who found her body? Me. I saw her lifeless body in the living room when I came home and remembered shaking her in hopes she would wake up, but she never did. Just seeing her pale body haunts me as well as my brother screaming. I will never get those images out of my head and they’ll be with me for the rest of my life.

I couldn’t even listen to drill music knowing that this is the kind of shit my brother’s killers listen to. Seeing those people in masks and holding some sort of weapon gives me flashbacks and makes me wanna throw up on the spot. I hate seeing people die for the same reason, especially if it’s someone around the same age as my brother. I hate seeing this shit going all over the news. I get terrible anxiety attacks whenever I even think about something as simple as a knife. But what can I do? Every single day, I have to deal with my triggers being around me 24/7. I’m seeing drill music and remixes getting popular on Tiktok, knives are basically everywhere and those films that depict gang violence, they’re everywhere.

This is why I find it so funny that here on Tumblr I’m seeing people in their 20s crying about people using the wrong hashtag when there are serious shit happening in this world such as their family members or friends dying and they have to watch that shit whilst you are able to view the censored version online. Consider yourself privileged. I didn’t get to see a “TW” before my brother died or even saw it pixelated. I saw it raw. I could even hear the squelching sounds of the knife going in and out of him. Trust me, I could hear everything and it’s very uncomfortable for me to sit through this every single fucking day of my life. It was so bad that I even resorted to drugs and taking my own life. Trust me, it fucking sucks. I don’t even wish this upon my worst enemy.

How can you be so lost in your head that you think the internet can help you with your first world problems? Life doesn’t have a trigger warning, it just happened. If god knew that my brother was going to die today, he would just put a “TW” before my day started. It was just a normal day just like any other day. I got out of bed and I did my morning routine. That very day, I went home from my friend’s house and saw him running across the street. I thought he was trying to catch the bus, but I was dead wrong. He was running for his life.

As someone with extreme PTSD, the fanfics in the #ptsdrecovery does affect me. I find it so damn stupid if they do so, especially if they showcase the actual scene of the gang violence in vague detail. However, the only people I could let them off are newbies to this app. I understand how different the app it is to an app like Instagram or something. I do it too when I go on Instagram and I would under tag because I don’t know how their algorithm works. It’s all human error and they could learn not to do it again, but for those that deliberately do it, especially for many years, they piss me the fuck off.

But here’s the thing, Tumblr isn’t your free therapy session. There are full of people with different coping mechanisms and strategies. If Tumblr was to cater only to those who get triggered over fanfictions showing up on recovery tag, then is it even a freedom of speech app? Tell me if that’s fair to ban anyone who has reading or making fanfictions as a coping mechanism just because one person feels entitled to their problems and puts the blame on others. Although it is super frustrating that we have to deal with this, there’s nothing we could do. We could tell people to make another hashtags to be specific which is #ptsdrecoveryfanfics but what would you do if you see one anyways?

See the problem isn’t the users, it’s your mindset. It’s not our responsibility to stop you from getting triggered, it’s you. People are just living their lives the way they do and so they shouldn’t be obligated to follow by your rules only. I mean, do you think I tell my friends not to play drill music when I’m around? Do I tell stores to not sell knives just because I get triggered by it. No. Unfortunately, I have to move on. No matter how hard it is, I do need to continue with my life. Trust me, this is not an easy task. Having to move on like it was a small inconvenience in my life was difficult, which is why I had go to cognitive behavioural therapy, take some meds and so much shit just so I could live my normal life.

Even now, I could still imagine the scene one and on again, and it makes me want to live in the past. It’s not just I want to see him again, I just wished I stayed at my friend’s house for much longer. Maybe if I was there for few more minutes, I would only have the memory of him going to the hospital. If I went back to get my charger for my phone, I wouldn’t be aching to have this image in my head.

But what could I do? It has already happened. This just taught me a valuable lesson. If you are able to watch things with a trigger warning and a blur hiding the horrifying scene, then you’re privileged. There are people dying in wars, most notably, in Ukraine. Families are dying, friends are getting lost, people losing strangers they had met just few hours ago. You could meet someone and not know if this is the last time you’ll see them or not. They don’t get to have their deaths blurred. Sone people would see their loved ones in brutal conditions that their bodies are fully mutated that it doesn’t even look like them anymore. Even if they weren’t there, that image would stay with them for the rest of their lives.

There are SERIOUS things that are happening in this world and the only thing those, mind I tell you, ADULTS harassing literal newbies in this app just because they used the wrong tag for their fanfiction posts. And for them to be so entitled to think that Tumblr is all about them and them only because they’re right and they know everything. NO THE FUCK YOU DON’T. This is a first world problem that YOU’RE dealing with. There are millions of people starving to death because they cannot afford to bring food into their plates. There are women and girls getting raped into this day because there are asshole men that wants to take advantage of them and that pisses me the fuck up seeing the fucked up things they do to these people, and your only problem are people using the wrong tags whether it’s an accident or not?

I’ve fucking seen everything. I watched my parents fight, my brother’s unlawful death, I saw my mother’s lifeless body on the couch at the living room, my dad left me meaning that me and my sisters had to go move with my grandparents. I bullied at school for being Asian, gay and fat. I was once beaten up to the point where I was hospitalised. It happened in 2020 too during the pandemic. Everyone called me “ching-chong” and told me to go back to where I came from. In the pandemic version, they also told me to kill myself. Then, my sister got raped. That got me sick to my stomach seeing how differently she acted. I also saw her get abused by her boyfriend and I had to step in and beat him up. I was stabbed on the arm by the one thing I was scared of, a knife. He happily called me faggot and chink as I was in excruciating pain. I don’t know how I could explain it, but it was not good.

At this point, I had a big hatred towards the world. However, you only have one life and you gotta live it. I could of chose to be chronically online just like the rest of us on Tumblr, or I could continue fighting and living my life. I chose to be in the real world, because once it’s gone, there’s no going back. I have my friends with me and a crush in my class. I chose to live my life because that was the only thing I could do. I don’t like being online as much, but this is why I only go there to protect my friends.

To give you a summary because some Tumblr users are retarded, I agree with said post and I had stated clearly how I felt about fanfictions going into recovery tags. The only thing I said was that I would understand if it was a newbie. If it was someone who casually does it despite knowing that they shouldn’t do that, then they should know what’s coming. Newbies are NEW to this app. They probably came from an app like Instagram. As someone with extreme PTSD, I’ll forgive them, especially if it’s their first time overtagging because they simply didn’t know how this app works. If it’s someone who has been doing it for years and hasn’t changed ever since, then yes I could understand why you can get mad at them. Unless if you’re mentally retarded, everyone should agree with this whether you hate people overtagging or not. No newbies are going to search up “how to tag on tumblr.” It’s just not realistic. What’s really going to happen is that they’re going to overtag or use the wrong tags and if someone can nicely explain it to them that they shouldn’t be tagging like that, then they’ll take it seriously and quit it. They’re human too and they’ll understand it. They aren’t going to listen to a crazy looking blogger screaming in dms because they aren’t going to take it seriously. This is just facts. But also, I feel like the people who are triggered, they kinda have to do their part as well. Like I said earlier, people aren’t obligated to give a trigger warning or help you when you get triggered. If they do however, it’s out of luck. Most people (especially in the real world) doesn’t give a shit about you. You wanna know why? They’re too busy into their own lives that they aren’t going to censor every word you are triggered over just so they could protect your precious feelings. This is life and you have to live by its rules. If you see something triggering, it’s up to you with how you go about it. If I was to see knives, I’ll just use filtered tags or words. Of course, you’ll still gonna see some regardless. This is because you cannot run away from reality. You’ll have to face it one day.

I know for some people it’s hard to digest, so I made an even dumber version of the summary. Crosstagging is bad. However, newbies can be forgiven because they didn’t know. not to. Of course newbies could search on google “how to tag posts” but it’s not realistic. Realistically, they will post and then figure out when someone tells them. If you do, it is better for you to explain it nicely and clearly so they would know for the next time not to overtag. But, if it’s someone who has been in this app for many years and wouldn’t stop, then yes, it is bad and they should be banned. But nonetheless, you need to help yourself too. Go to settings and put filter tags or words so you can hide certain posts you don’t want to see. There are very little things you could do in this situation, which means that you’ll need to face the harsh reality one day that not everything is censored and so you’ll see things that are uncensored.

Sorry for the language. I just had been so stressed lately. I think I’m gonna take a break from using this app.

[verflares]

(click for higher quality!) draconified link concept ive been chipping away at this past week ..... here's my funny little compendium concept for him:

"A heroic spirit has taken the form of this bestial dragon. Unlike it's kin, this creature exhibits an extremely aggressive disposition. It appears highly territorial, and will relentlessly chase down those who disturb its skywide patrols - of which it seems to be endlessly searching for either a long-time vassal or foe. Unfortunately, it seems the spirit within has long since forgotten exactly who it was looking for…"

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

[aesthetic-uni]

Miles “Who’s Morales” vs Gwen “Gwwwwanda” vs Pavtir “You seem like a nice young woman I do not know” FIGHT

[skateboardtotheheart]

there is just something about the difference between edwin's love interests and having the cat king's reaction to edwin in hell being "i'll be waiting when he gets back" vs charles "no version of this where i don't come get you" rowland convincing a powerful trans-dimensional being to open a door to hell just so he could get him back

i am insane

[triplecreature]

actually I'm kind of curious about this because it was a huge debate among my peers in my community

Clarifications under the cut:

The poster is in a public space where it is typical for everyday people to post things. It is not someone's private property or possession. Think piece of paper taped to a telephone pole, not sign in a storefront or in someone's yard.

The poster is not protected by law; you are very unlikely to face legal consequences for vandalizing it. Caveat: some peers have argued that it risks being socially consequential because an organization or demographic that you are a part of may be judged as intolerant/oppressive/disruptive/otherwise unpleasant if people witness your actions, and thus advocated against vandalism for fear of damaging your public image.

The poster is not an expensive or personal piece of artwork; it is a mass produced print on letter paper.

You are vehemently opposed to the message displayed on the poster, but it is an opinion that people are free to have in your country.

The 4th option refers to things like intentionally putting your own poster over top of the bad poster or otherwise making the bad poster harder to view; some people argued that targeting the poster for removal is out of line, but posting your own messages is an innocent action that you are well within your right to do (in this context, posters regularly eclipse each other as new ones are posted over top of outdated ones due to limited space)

The poster is part of a campaign; it's not unique. There are many postings of it across the community.

This is all assuming that the offending poster is not old and would typically not be considered fair game for pruning for quite some time, and that it is being specifically targeted for removal because of its message (rather than petty vandalism or because it's obstructive or damaged). E.g., if a poster is advertising an event happening on April 20th, it's typical to prune it after that date but not before.

Of course the situation that prompted the real life debate did involve a specific offending message, but I'm not going to specify what it was for now because I think it'll skew the results as people will just end up voting based on whether they like or dislike that message, which isn't the point of this. For this poll we are assuming that it IS a message that you are very opposed to; you can substitute in your own opinion that you have strong feelings about.

Please reblog for sample size!

[glitterghost]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like there is a particular kind of sadness (or loneliness, if you will) that ace/aro folk feel.

[caffeiiine]

kunikidas ideals have the potential to be self destructive and kunikida can be considered passively suicidal, he is also not the polite and respectful man fanon makes him out to be- *gets shot*

[formulapisces]

reblog or <horrific thing will happen to parent>

reblog to get <specific amount of money>

reblog for <luck and something about a crush>

reblog if you aren’t <racist, homophobic, etc>

reblog or else <terrible tragedy happens>

reblog if you care about <obviously a good cause but is baiting you to look like a horrible person if you don’t reblog it>

SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP

[skywalkr-nberrie]

One of the biggest arguments I’ve seen used by the Ob*d*l*s against Anidala, is that scene in the ROTS novel where Padmé says she could trust OW with the secret of the rebellion and was hesitant to tell Anakin and I just wanna say:

Padmé wasn't an idiot. She was an extremely intelligent and competent woman, perfectly able to understand that loving Anakin and thinking that he could be trusted with a certain politic-related matter were two very different things and reducing her choice regarding who to trust with an important political matter only on the basis of her feelings of romantic love diminishes her professionalism, and this is why I say y'all could never understand her.

Padmé didn’t have to "love" OW or even like him at all to know he was the perfect Jedi to ask for help in a secret political matter.

That's the point being made in the novel, she’s hit with the realization that Anakin in this particular moment could not be told this piece of info because of his relationship with Palpatine, and Padmé specifically mentions in the Junior ROTS novel that she didn't want to make Anakin “keep a secret” if he didn’t agree with their stance because it’d be “unfair.” So this also played a part in why Padmé didn’t think it best to inform Anakin about the Rebellion. It honestly had little to do with her actually lacking trust in him, and more to do with the circumstances she was in not allowing her to be open with her husband and her not wanting to make him choose between his wife and his “father figure.”

However, Padmé knows OW’s political ideas aren't tied to ONE particular person but to a philosophy, one which is closer to her own, at that point. None of this was ever meant to be hinted as “romantic” or even remotely insinuated as romantic. It’s strictly professional and even the tone of the scene makes that so abundantly clear.

All I’m saying is that, some of these proshippers are doing the most out here to try and prove their ship, like my loves? You forgot a very important thing called ✨ context ✨ and regardless of her rational thinking, Padmé still went out of her way to try and talk out all of this Rebellion secrecy stuff with Anakin when she confronted him in the scene where she asks if he ever thought they were “fighting on the wrong side.” Padmé didn’t trust OW in the same way she trusted Anakin (with her entire self and being) she had the level of trust and love for Anakin that was only meant for him.

Mixing up her unwavering faith in Anakin as her husband with her trust in OW’s devotion to duty as her comrade/ally is purposely deluding yourself, because the two aren’t the same and therefore can’t be compared. An example of this is: Padmé constantly putting more value to Anakin’s words over OW’s in the end of ROTS when he came to tell her of Anakin’s “crimes”. She completely disregarded what OW had claimed about her husband and instead made her way to where Anakin was herself, to ask him directly. Despite what the truth was, this is proof of her trusting Anakin unconditionally, and I didn’t even think I had to spell that out because it’s as clear as day.

In conclusion, Padmé didn’t trust OW more than Anakin, she just knew the circumstances she was in didn’t exactly make it easy for her to openly talk with her husband about these matters and that’s part of what played into the issues they had in ROTS, it’s exactly what Sidious wanted.

[stealingyourbones]

I’m so tired with people continuing to tag me in posts with tags in the posts implying I’m attempting to gatekeep dpxdc.

I’m just asking folks to read some wikis or maybe watch a DC tv show to get more ideas because the content in DC is so expansive. I’ve been trying to push this since July of 2022.

I’m writing it like this so people just understand. I just want to show folks the cool thing I enjoy and That theres so much more content to play with when you either do (or don’t idk at this point bro) choose to look more into the greater fandoms of the Crossover.

You can write whatever you want, I would just think it would be cool to see the looking into cool DC stuff by the community.

I’m not gatekeeping or trying to prevent people from writing fanfic. I read all forms of dpxdc fics at every level of fanon to canon to AUs to Ghost AUs.

I’m just trying to push a cool thing I like to show other people the cool thing I like?

[aquickstart]

what do you mean saltburn is not a great movie. what do you mean its bad but pretty and fun. have you never longed to escape the confines of your environment. have you never pretended your way into acceptance. have you never longed to break free of this need and not care about the damage you wreak in your way just to let your monster run free. at the very least have you never hated whatever you loved and longed for what you lost after having made the decision to lose it for the better. was it not cathartic

[caputvulpinum]

please stop being wrong on my posts btw it gets very frustrating not letting myself respond to you about how wrong you are

[ganondoodle]

okay, bc i have seen this argument alot now (and it also seems to be the view point of aonuma himself..) is that "zelda cant do everything link does bc whats the point then"

and i take personal offense on that bc its a stupid argument (in. my. very. personal. opinion.- not judging people for liking it. its a ME thing)

whats the point? its that its her. its still a different character, different in story, background, personality, but i WANT to play zelda and she can do everything link does, why does she have to be so restricted and be bend over backwards to find some new way to make her 'useful' when link gets to do basically everything no questions asked (the only thing thats hers is like .. sealing power and sacrificial maiden, which i find a little underwhelming to say the least), if theres no point to it why are there always modders that model swap link with someone else, and in that case it has even less impact bc its an artificial model swap with no changes to the story (which can and should still be different when its the vanilla game with a different protagonist... its still a different character), clearly theres joy in just the model being a different one- and that isnt even to mention the story possibilities, since, again, its stil a different character

if we ever (never ... i know who we are talking about here) get to play as ganondorf i want to him to be just as versatile and active as link is, if we got a point and click adventure game for him instead bc 'whats the point' id be disappointed too- you can find any sort of excuse/explanation for zelda to be singled out but the fact remains it tracks with how female characters are often treated, and that hits a very sore spot for me

i guess i am unfortunately one of those annoying people that want to see female characters be treated exactly the same as male characters, possibly bc i am myself afab but identify as agender and have a deeply personal dislike for anything 'traditional' feminine bc i cannot and never will be able to truly live as myself in real life, it influences all of my work, my work is as just as much as my opinion on this, very personal

and in line with my point about modding, i see theres joy in just beign able to play as her even if its like this, i get that, i also get it for the creative aspect (though that mechanic worries me even more for the future bc it really seems to be the path now that -freedom = good, linear anything = bad-) it is a different idea and its not like i cant see that value- im not trying be "right" either, just bc i have that opinion doesnt mean i need everyone to agree, its a very personal thing, if you like it good for you! not for me though, and i think both of that is equally valid

i just personally wish she was allowed to be just like link, fight just like him but be different bc its still her and not him in the end- to be physically/playstyle like jsut like him, but you know ... as her, i dont think shed stop being zelda if she could wield a sword just like him

i dont really know how to get my point/feelings across, i dont want to step too much into personal stuff nor spam people with something that ultimately doesnt interest me alot, im just saddened by it really

(EDIT: bc i forgot to add this on here again; this isnt as much of a problem as it might sound like here, just the main topic i wanted to talk about; why im so uninterested in it is MAINLY bc i dont trust them to write anything interesting/care about lore anymore after totk, im always on the more pessimistic side that thinks its most likely worse than id hope and i know even the past games arent perfect or super interestingly written, but now its much more just a general distrust, together with everything like the price ... im just much less hopeful and cant get excited until i see more of it, like im waiting for the game to get out and reveal that its just as much of a mess and money i regret spending- kind of fear)

[originalartblog]

I just think Chuuya deserves to snap for this arc. Crumble under his unaddressed trauma. Be evil for a little while. Make Dazai face some consequences for a change. A little corruption arc, if you will.

[theinsomniacindian]

Sometimes I wish that people would learn the difference between sex-repulsion and sex-negativity