#don’t get me wrong i have done a LOT of work on myself this year and there’s so much responsibility i’m happy to take

[juniestar]

Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE

[exopelagic]

I am baking cake at midnight and it is going to kill me <3

[elonmuscovado]

okay i can’t sleep and i need to vent so hello tumblr!!!

[weird-and-unwell]

“Autism isn’t a disability”, “it’s just a difference”.

I am of lower support needs. I hold down a (part time) job. I have travelled around my home country. I live alone.

At work they complain about my speech. I’m too quiet, they say, “barely audible” is the words used at my autism assessment. My voice is all monotone, and it needs to be more expressive. I get this complaint every week for a year straight, until my manager gives up. I don’t attend trainings because I forget and find it overwhelming anyways. My coworkers form friendships, and I watch them talk, wondering how they make it look so easy. I get a new manager, I tell her I find the work socials too overwhelming to attend. She tells me I can just say I don’t want to come. I don’t know how to tell her that I desperately want to, to be like the rest of my coworkers, instead of constantly being the one sat on the sidelines.

I come home, and I can hear my neighbours again. The niggling background noise messes with my head, and I meltdown; I throw myself on the floor, I hit my head on the ground repeatedly as I scream and cry, tear out my hair and scratch my arms and face. When I complain, people tell me that I just have to accept that neighbours make noise, that I should just ignore it, or block it out. I am the problem, the one overreacting. I put in earplugs and it hurts and I'm crying again. I wear headphones but I can't handle the noise for that long.

I have reminders set for everything. Every chore, no matter how big or small. My phone beeps at me, reminding me that I need to wash the dishes. If I don't go now, then tick the little box on my phone to say I did it, it won't get done. My home is almost always a mess despite this. It's not just chores either. I won't think to wash, dress myself, brush my teeth or hair, without those reminders. And unless someone actively prompts me to do so, I will do those tasks "wrong". I haven't changed my underwear in a month, and I'm currently aware that's a problem, but within the hour I'm going to forget all over again until I'm next prompted.

I can't sleep without medication - it's not unusual for autistic people to have messed up circadian rhythms. Without my medication it's hard to even tell when I'm awake and when I'm asleep. When I was younger and at school I slept through so many lessons, and when I have my mandatory breaks from my sleep meds I sleep through every alarm I set. I want to work full time some day, and I'm terrified of what my sleep issue will mean for me then.

I don't travel independently. I don't travel anywhere alone, always with someone or to someone. If to someone, I have assistance the whole way. I find it embarrassing sometimes. Yes, I have a job that requires a certain level of intelligence. No, I cannot get on a train by myself. If I am not shown To The Train, To My Seat, I will be unable to travel.

Last time I travelled, I was left alone at the station for ten minutes. I stayed rigid and sobbed the whole time. I was overwhelmed. It was too loud, I didn't know where I was or where I was meant to be going, and until the assistance person came back I couldn't do anything because for some reason I cannot understand it.

I spend a lot of time trying to explain to people that despite my relative competence, I am unable to do many things. Why can I understand high level maths but not how to get on a damn train? No fucking idea.

"Autism isn't a disability" most severely affects those with higher support needs, and this is absolutely not to take away from them. But for fucks sake, autism is disabling.

Maybe you personally are extremely lucky and just find you're a little "socially awkward", or just find some textures painful or nauseating. Maybe you would be fine with just a couple of adjustments.

But for a lot of us, even lower support needs autistics, it doesn't work like that. I will never sleep properly without medication. I still have the self-harming type of meltdowns as an adult, over things that are deemed as being "just part of life". I live alone but have daily visits from family - if I'm left fully alone I forget all the little daily things one is "meant" to do. I had speech therapy as a child to get me to the "barely audible" "mostly correct" speech. I don't mask, I'm not really sure how I would to begin with.

I'm not unhappy with being autistic. It's just who I am. Life would be easier if I were neurotypical, but I also wouldn't be me. I just wish those luckier than me could...stop saying it's all chill and not at all a disability.

Because yes, socially, I am "awkward". I obviously don't make eye contact - I stare down and to the side of whoever I speak to. People think it's weird or creepy or a sign of disinterest. My autism assessor wrote down about how I often use words and phrases that don't make sense to others, even though they make perfect sense to me. In my daily life this means I'm frequently misunderstood, and have to try explain what I mean, when what I mean is exactly what I said, and the true issue is that what I mean just doesn't make sense to others. I gesture, at times, but again, my gestures apparently don't make sense in relation to what I'm saying. I take things literally, I have almost no filter, and I can't explain how I go from topic to topic.

And yes, I do have sensory problems. Sometimes people, including others with sensory problems, tell me that "sometimes sensory issues have to be tolerated", and I wonder what they think of as being sensory issues. I'm sure they do struggle, but if I say I can't handle a touch, I mean you will need to forcefully hold it against me for me to touch it more than a second and it will make me meltdown. If I say "I can't eat that", I mean that I am unable to swallow it, that I will gag and choke and inevitably spit it back out, as much as I try. If I say I can't handle a noise, I mean I'm so close to a meltdown and my meltdowns are a problem for everyone around me.

But yes. Autism. Not a disability. Just a fun quirky difference.

[rebelwrites]

IM HERE FOR THE FLASH FIC!!

I’ve been craving some Jax Teller. I need something tender and sweet, but in character. Something to make me feel safe and wanted, but not simply desired. Idc what you write or how you do it because I know it’s going to be 👌

You Aren’t Meant To Be Back Until Christmas Eve

Jax Teller x Reader

This is a flash fic so it hasn’t been edited. It’s also good to be back writing again 🥺

It was the week leading up to Christmas and to say you were rushed off your feet was a complete understatement. This was your favorite time of year, even though your stress levels were through the roof, you practically lived off coffee and energy drinks and hardly saw your boyfriend Jax. You knew he understood why you were so absent in the run up to the festive season, the small bakery had queues running down the street from mid October.

Leaning against the stainless steel counter, you took a deep breath looking at the stack of cookie trays that were cooling waiting to be iced ready for the morning rush. Your body ached to where all you wanted to do was sink into a scalding hot bath, not moving until the hot water eased your aching muscles.

The sound of your phone echoing around the industrial supplied kitchen pulled you from any thoughts, you knew it would be Jax, it always was this time of night. No matter what time you were working he would always drop you a call to see how you were getting on, even when he was on runs with the club he would always make a point of calling you. Brushing the flour on the front of your jeans you grabbed your phone, quickly answering the call before pressing the device against your ear.

“Is it a late one again Darlin’?” Your boyfriend hummed, you could hear the tiredness hanging from his words, this last run for the club must have taken more of a toll on him this time.

“I think I’m still gonna be here come opening,” you sighed, letting your gaze fall to the countertop. “Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas and the bakery but I just want to spend time with you.”

“The money is nice as well,” he chuckled, causing the corners of your lips to tug into a small smile. You knew how much the bakery meant to not only Jax but the club too. This was one of the first legitimate businesses that was set up, Jax surprised you one day by showing the vacant lot and the new sign he had designed, from that day the “From Anarchy, With Love” bakery was born.

“How was the run?” You asked, pulling the phone away from you ear, putting in on speaker so you could be free to move around the kitchen.

“Long as fuck,” he groaned, you knew he would be running he hand across his face as he spoke. “I am so fuckin’ done with the muling, it is just getting more risky with each run,” he mumbled, with each word he spoke you could hear the pain in his voice.

Before he could carry on the sound of someone pounding at the front door gained my full attention. “Hold on baby, I swear someone is trying to put their fist through the front door of the bakery,” you huffed in annoyance. It was probably one customer trying their luck to see if they could get their order early. But that didn’t stop you from reaching into the cupboard by the doorway of the kitchen, grabbing my hand gun, flicking the safety off before tucking it into the bank of my jeans. One thing was for sure when it came to being Teller’s old lady, you was never without protection, whether this was in the form of a 9mm, a member of the club or Jax.

As you moved through the building, the knocking got louder and more persistent. “Bloody hell, don’t punch my door in, it never hurt you,” you scoffed, fishing the keys out of the pocket of Jax’s hoodie.

You felt myself fumbling with all the locks, once again thanks to Jax being over protective, soon enough the door was finally unlocked and the moment you pulled the heavy wooden door you dropped the set of keys on the floor as you saw your boyfriend leaving against the brick entrance.

“Hey Darlin’,” he hummed, quickly closing the gap between the two of you, engulfing you into his arms. The feeling of his muscular arms wrapping around your body caused all the stress to dissolve. “Fuck, I missed you,” he whispered against your hair, guiding you further into the shop before kicking the door closed with his foot.

“You aren’t meant to be back until Christmas eve,” you breathed, pulling back slightly so you could take in the look of your tired man. Somehow you freed one of your arms, allowing you to reach up brushing your fingers against his cheek. “Not that I am complaining nevertheless, what happened Jaxy?”

The fact you were greeted with a moment of silence told you everything, you knew things were rocky with Clay, no one knew the toll that everything was taking on the blond nuzzling his face into your shoulder. He wouldn’t let the outside world see him like this, but with you he felt he could let the walls come crumbling down, allowing him to process all the emotions he was feeling, and he knew his feelings would be taken seriously.

“Clay is going off on one again, his hands are getting worse and he has gone behind all of our back and the club is now in a deep hole with the cartel,” he had a wobble in his tone as he spoke, he was angry about the whole situation and I couldn’t blame him, I would be to. “I just needed my girl.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his words, to the world he was the vice president of a violent club but behind closed doors he was just a puppy wanting love.

“I know you need to work so I can’t take you to the Christmas market I know you want to go to but I have brought take out,” he hummed, holding up the plastic carrier bag you had completely missed when he first came into the bakery, “and I thought we could spend the night icing them amazing cookie, like we did when we were getting this place ready for the opening.”

Tears threatened to spill over your lash line, you had never been with someone who would abandon everything just because they wanted to spend time with you, even if that meant that they would be working till the sun came up.

“You know I want the cookies to be edible and sellable right?” You smirked, cocking your brow at him.

“Shut up and get your ass in that kitchen, Darlin’”

@chibsytelford @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @i-love-scott-mccall @fourthwallhateclub @withmyteeth @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @princess76179 @darklydeliciousdesires @the-jer-bear @princess76179 @extraneousred @youflickedtooharddamnit @lmao-liz @babypink224221 @daddysgirl2857 @bravo-four-seal-team @garbinge @pedrohoe04 @littlekittymeow @nichia88-blog @zozebo

[epiicaricacy-arts]

oh we’re still so young, desperate for attention

this was super experimental so i will talk about my process (+ clearer version) under the cut

i’ve been looking at a lot of “messier” or more textured painting styles recently and an artist that stuck out to me is clariondeluna ! they posted a self-portrait recently that i really liked and i was super interested in the brushwork seen in their work. i love all the textures and how the shapes feel so loose yet everything is so detailed.

that’s not a method for me at all!!!! i cannot paint like that at all and the stuff i like to paint is very different to theirs. which is okay!!!! i had no intention to copy this artists style so closely like with what i tried to do in my raiden painting, i just wanted to try this style out :^)

it’s been a goal of mine to avoid over-rendering like i tend to do a lot, and i think i’ve been doing good with that recently! the mindset i’ve got going on right now is that if i find myself staring at it too hard for too long, i have to leave it and move on. if there’s still something wrong with it, i can fix it later once ive got a fresh view!

i’ve been trying a lot of things with my art this year. i always try to challenge myself with each piece, and to end the year off i wanted to be as uncomfortable as i possibly could be with this painting. i let myself draw whatever i wanted because i still wanted to enjoy it, but everything i did in this process was new, including parts of the subject matter.

i’ve never drawn a head at an angle like this, and i struggle with drawing mouths open. i don’t do bold lighting like this, and if i do, it’s not fire. i’ve never drawn fire! i also rarely work with warm colours and i hate using green, so i combined those to be my colour palette. i like working cleanly so instead of having a dozen different layers for one section, each section only had 1-2 layers for rendering. instead of clipping masks i would simply paint over things loosely and clean it up later. i never like having limbs cut off in a drawing so i had his other arm go GOD knows where. i don’t like weird patterned backgrounds so i made myself figure out how to like it!

IS THIS MY FAVOURITE PIECE OF ALL TIME. no. absolutely not. but i’m very proud of how this came out with all the challenges i put on myself. i WANTED to get better at these things and be more broad with my art, both in terms of the styles and subjects i portray.

okay let’s talk about wtf this drawing is

for those who don’t know, the design in this painting is my fatui/“Father” lyney fan design (read the design post here). the concept isnt super complicated and i don’t really have much explanation for it, but i wanted to combine the story of how lyney wanted a delusion before getting his vision, fire eating circus acts and how olympic medalists will bite their medal to prove it’s real??? don’t quote me on that i’m like 75% sure that’s a thing that happens. i don’t watch sports though so im just believing someone i heard on the internet ages ago.

anyways. i think fire eating acts are cool. and i think the fact that lyney wanted a delusion is very interesting to me. scratches my brain in the right places. and yk as a magician lyneys character revolves a lot around fooling people and creating illusions so i guess what im saying here is that lyney is trying to prove to himself that this power he’s been bestowed is real. bc his whole life his only constant has been lynette so he is trying to see if he can trust this new power. cause i guess this is an alternate universe where lyney does eventually become “Father” but he never got his vision ??? idk im not making lore for this i just wanted to dress up this funny little guy.

ok i’m done

thanks for reading

here’s my dog

[spreadyovrwings]

Honey, I Can Feel Your Pain

A late night heart-to-heart before the end of the world. Or, two idiots try to talk about their feelings but they’re both demons and not very good at it.

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: my writing/me trying to navigate a complicated character, i cringe therefore i am

A/N: literally just ignore me lol i wanted to see if i could write Alastor well so this is something of a personal challenge and a warm up for me (and i’m obsessed with him) so hopefully i’ve done him justice. there’ll be a part two if anyone wants one!

//

Chapter One

The door to Alastor’s studio was always locked to everyone but you. You weren’t sure how he did it. He was a complete technophobe, so a hidden camera was out of the question. Perhaps he’d cast some sort of spell or could sense you coming. You weren’t sure. All you knew was that if you needed to see him, and Alastor permitted it, his door was always open.

That night, the radio tower was dark and still, the only sound a slow, jazzy number sent oozing over the city and into people’s homes.

You found Alastor at his sound desk, one long finger poised idly on a bakelite dial, as if debating whether to alter the sound his tower produced. His ever-present smile was fixed in place but his lips were closed, his deep red eyes focused.

You tapped your foot against the floor, once, twice, three times, announcing your presence as gently as you could so as not to disturb him too abruptly. It didn’t matter that Alastor had to let you in in the first place, it always seemed impolite to come barging in.

He didn’t look up as you approached but you could tell you had his attention, and when you put your hand on the back of the chair next to his, a question, he answered with a short nod.

“Are you alright?”

Alastor barely moved, his eyes fixed on the glowing buttons and dials in front of him.

“Fine, fine.”

He spoke faintly, airily, with no hint of static, as if he were lost in thought. You couldn’t help feeling like you’d interrupted a private moment.

“It’s just you’ve been locked away in your room for days now.”

“Hard at work! Nothing more.”

As if to prove a point, Alastor wrapped his long fingers around the dial and adjusted the volume, then slid his fingers along the desk to conjure up the next song.

This tune was a lot more uptempo. It wasn’t like Alastor to be so sloppy, you must really have caught him off-guard.

Alastor seemed to realise his mistake too. He turned to you, leaning back in his chair, exuding a confidence and poise that many envied and few saw through.

“Is there something I can help you with, my dear?”

His attention was yours. Too late to go back now.

“You’ve been quiet ever since Charlie came back from Heaven.”

“Well, I-”

“And you don’t go quiet,” you pressed on, refusing to let him chart the course of your conversion. “So what’s wrong?”

The two halves of his face told two different stories. Alastor’s eyes were fiery and guarded, he didn’t like being questioned but you’d cornered him. Below, his smile stretched his skin. You wondered if it hurt.

“I’ve been reviewing the situation,” he said after a thoughtful pause, every word considered and weighed.

“You’ve missed dinner four nights in a row for that? I made all your favourites to try and entice you down, you know.”

Alastor hummed. He wasn’t listening.

“Do you know, for almost one hundred years, I have lived here quite happily. I’ve carved out a nice little niche for myself. And then the princess started getting bright ideas…”

Alastor’s long fingers danced over the faders again but he didn’t move any of them. It seemed to be the habit of a lifetime. Two lifetimes.

“The angels… Unsettled me. And you’re quite right, I don’t get unsettled. It required meditation.”

“The angels unnerved you?”

“Unsettled. But I suppose there’s not much point arguing over semantics. Either way, the result n’est pas bon, cher.”

“What did they say that unsettled you?”

One of Alastor’s ears flicked in irritation. It was a rare thing for him to give away even that much. It was a particular kind of personal hell, for him to have a body that could betray him so visibly. He could rattle everyone with his big grin, he could even hide pain behind walled eyes, but the attributes given to him, gifted to him, shackled to him, when he fell, weren't so easy to control.

“It’s not quite that simple, my dear. The angels are all bluster and hollow virtues. I care very little about what they have to say, the self-righteous...”

He took a breath.

“But then they halved the time till the next Extermination. It’s of little consequence to me. They’re clever enough to leave me alone most of the time and if any angels do try their luck, well, they’re quietly done away with. Plus, it’s just plain old good sport to watch the show.”

You smiled.

“Might have to disagree with you there, handsome.”

Alastor laughed humourlessly, a dry, sharp sound like a bow pulled roughly against violin strings.

“That’s just it, I might too. The issue is… Now it’s only a few weeks away…”

The song changed. Low, smooth, like sand through an hourglass, a single trumpet groaned into life, filling the room before disintegrating and travelling along the airwaves. Was it a distraction? Was Alastor struggling to hold his focus? Who knew? Maybe not even him.

“Alastor,” You leaned forward in your chair, undeterred by his hesitancy. “What’s wrong?”

His gaze slowly slid to you. The close-mouthed smile was back. It was the closest he ever came, or ever could come, to relaxing his expression completely.

“It usually doesn’t bother me,” Alastor murmured, his words barely audible over crackling static.

You frowned.

“But this time it did?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Alastor’s nose wrinkled.

“Because before, I didn’t have you. It was easier. I’ve never relied on anyone or had anyone relying on me. Now there’s the hotel, its inhabitants…”

You remedied the sting with a vacant smile of your own.

“When you say ‘you’, you mean all our friends?”

Alastor shook his head.

“No. No, I was attempting to obfuscate.”

“Oh.”

Alastor stared at you. You stared back. Then, with a clang, the penny dropped.

“Oh!”

“Mm.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Quite.”

You smiled at his sour expression. Your own face was burning but you bravely ignored it.

Your relationship with Alastor had been a nebulous, vague sort of a thing. He was a terrifying colleague to have at the hotel, and at first, you couldn’t be sure why in Hell he was there. He liked to watch others struggle, suffer, and fail miserably, it was all just good entertainment for him. But that couldn’t be all there was behind his sudden interest.

As soon as you figured out that Alastor served himself and himself only, things became a lot clearer, and it was a lot easier to like him. You didn’t have to worry about trusting him, because you couldn’t. You didn’t have to question his motives, you knew they were ill-intentioned and that you were better off not knowing. He liked to pretend he was oh so mysterious, but Alastor was perhaps the most honest person in the hotel.

Mutual respect grew into friendship, into something more. You often went out with Alastor when he required assistance or just wanted some company, and you were always the first person he came to when he got home.

Slowly, incrementally, that trust bloomed. Alastor began to ask for your opinion. You would sit together in companionable silence, reading by the fire long into the night. He didn’t need to ensnare and trick and manipulate you, because you did things for him happily and without question, though within reason.

He was always honest with you, or at least, as honest as he could be without it endangering his own self-preservation. And you respected that. It was a harsh world, you had to look out for yourself, but slowly, so slowly that neither you nor your friends had noticed until it was too late, Alastor had bound his life to yours.

You hadn’t appreciated the depths of that connection. You’d always known you had a soft spot for him, ill-advised as it was, but never in all that remained of your afterlife could you have anticipated a requited affection.

Alastor interlocked his fingers and rested them in his lap, keeping his composure well considering the situation.

“It pains me to think of you in danger.”

You couldn’t help it, you laughed quietly.

“Steady now, Alastor. You sure know how to sweep someone off their feet.”

He’d never rolled his eyes at you, he was far too refined for that, but Alastor gave his equivalent, waving an airy hand at you and soldiering on.

“We have always been close, you and I. Right from the start.”

“That’s not how I remember it but…” You smiled. “I like to think of us as a little team.”

He brightened, his pained smile morphing into something a little more authentic.

“Exactly! A team! But what was once companionship and, admittedly, amusement-”

“Do you mean we have fun together or do you mean amusement at my expense?”

Alastor waved his hand again.

“A little of column A, a little of column B.”

“Wonderful.”

“What I mean to say is… My feelings have evolved somewhat.”

In all the time you’d spent with him, you’d never known Alastor to be so hesitant. In fact, you couldn’t remember a time when you’d seen him show any sign of apprehension. His stitched-on smile was still intact but his clawed fingers drummed against the sound desk and his gaze had been lost in safer ground, somewhere over your shoulder.

“Evolved into what?”

Though your heart was thudding in your ears, you didn’t hesitate to push him. You thought one of the reasons Alastor had grown to enjoy your company so much was that you liked to talk, as well as listen. He got bored so easily and he’d always been a chatterbox; you were one of the few people in his life who could match him in that without any sign of fear or an ulterior motive.

Alastor’s ear flicked again. This was a hard conversation for him.

“The Extermination meant nothing to me before. But now, the thought of it…”

You watched his eyes grow unfocused as his imagination consumed him. His fingers stopped drumming. The song on the radio rose by a few decibels.

“Alastor, it’s okay-”

“It frightens me. And it’s not about self-preservation this time. When I consider how our companions may fare…”

“They’ll be okay.”

“What if I can’t protect you?”

Sensing you might need to ease off, take a breath, anything, you leaned in closer, reaching out for him but never, ever touching him without asking first. Instead, you rested your hand beside his on the desk.

“I don’t need protection, Alastor.”

“Still, I want to keep you safe, my darling. There’s a… A sharp tug here…”

He pressed one clawed hand against his empty chest.

“And here…”

He dragged the same hand down to the pit of his lean stomach.

“When I think about you in any kind of danger.”

How did he always manage to be so charming, even when he didn’t mean to be?

You barely held back a pleased smile. Like Alastor’s, it tugged at the corners of your mouth, threatening to spill over into a stupid, happy grin.

He didn’t have the language for what he felt, that was fine. You and Alastor had always found a way to communicate, even without words. He’d told you more with one gesture than you ever could have expected him to say aloud.

But it wasn't just unexpected, it was completely astonishing. You couldn’t let him sense that though, it might make him retreat into himself. So instead, you turned it back around on him, letting Alastor choose how much he wanted to give away.

“What do you think that could be?”

“I have an idea. But I dread to think.”

Alastor’s eyes narrowed slightly, and you knew you were on the same page.

It would be difficult for him, far more than it had been for you, to pin down and explore and accept the feelings you had for each other. You hadn’t been able to figure out a better word for whatever it was that fizzled between you, though, like Alastor, you had a sneaking suspicion and it terrified you.

Nothing sounded right. Logically, you knew there were some words that ought to fit, but acknowledging them felt like wearing someone else’s shoes.

You couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for Alastor to come to terms with it all. So it surprised you when he slid his hand over yours.

It wasn’t the first time you’d touched, he was always holding out his arm for you, patting the top of your head, often even lifting your hand to his lips when he greeted you in the mornings or bade you goodnight. But this wasn’t a fleeting brush of his hand against yours, this was sustained, purposeful contact, and it meant something, to both of you.

Alastor’s gaze still couldn’t meet yours, so he stared at your hands, his close-mouthed smile back in place.

“I’ve grown quite fond of you,” he said quietly, and it was just his voice you could hear, no static, no sound effects, just Alastor.

You smiled.

“I’ve grown quite fond of you too, handsome. I get the same feeling.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, all the time.”

“Oh, well, that’s reassuring, at least.” Alastor finally met your eyes, his head tilted quizzically to one side. “Have you told anyone?”

“What, and admit I’m in love with the Radio Demon? No thanks, I’d never live it down.”

Feedback shot through the room, a grating, warped sound, like someone had held a microphone too close to a speaker. It was hard to tell if the sound emanated from the mixing desk or from Alastor himself, but his scarlet eyes were wide.

His hand tightened over yours, though it was more likely out of surprise than him trying to give you comfort. The tips and edges of his sharp claws dug into your skin, not enough to hurt, but it still made your jaw clench.

Alastor, to his credit, didn’t seem as put off by the admission than you might’ve expected. Maybe he wasn’t surprised by the actual sentiment, just that you’d finally said the words out loud.

You smiled.

With just a week or so left until an Extermination that would surely kill you all, there wasn’t much room left in your damned soul for shyness. It wasn’t an all-out ‘if this is my last chance to say it’ confession. You and Alastor had always appreciated candour, and with so little time left, why not say what you were both thinking?

“Have you spoken about it with anyone?”

Alastor shrugged.

“Well, yes, I’m doing it now.”

“No, I meant someone you can trust. Someone you can talk about your feelings with.”

Alastor watched you blankly.

A second penny dropped.

“Oh.”

You had to resist the urge to shiver under his heavy stare.

“You couldn’t talk to Rosie?”

“I considered it but, bless her heart, my old friend can be a sentimentalist. No, best just to get to the source of the problem.”

“Alastor…”

You huffed, pretending to be insulted, and Alastor’s smile once again looked a little more real. It met his eyes, open, unguarded and calm.

“So, what would you like to do about it?”

“Hmm,” Alastor raised the hand that had covered yours to tap one long finger against his chin. “Any chance you’d let me lock you away in a secret, impenetrable bunker?”

Your smile grew.

“Sorry, honey.”

Alastor tutted.

“I thought as much.”

“Do you have one of those?”

“Hm?”

“A secret, impenetrable bunker.”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out, my dear. You’ll just have to be particularly careful. And perhaps this… Feeling will go away with time.”

You smiled, barely resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

“Perhaps it will.”

“When I’m right, I’m right, my darling.”

”That’s not the expression and you know it.”

//

Master List

[starlightandfairies]

Helloooo :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day or night! Or just both lol. Anyways, is it okay if I ask for a Klaus Mikaelson x Female reader one-shot? For me, I don’t like where the reader just falls in love with him so quickly, despite everything he has done. I was thinking of something with fluff and he has to work for her love? So basically, reader has been friends with Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline since childhood, but she’s still human. And she hates Klaus for what he has done to her friends and family, but despite everything he has done he hasn’t don’t anything to harm her physically in any way. (Hint hint, cause it means he likes her lol). And because of this, he tries to show he genuinely cares about her. It takes her a long while to eventually warm up to him.

Sorry, this is a lot -_-…uh, and not very detailed lol. I wanted to leave it up to your imagination, but totally fine if you can’t cause writers block and other things. Anyway, an idea: maybe reader gets saved by Klaus and he admits he likes her but she kinda plays hard to get. of course, she can’t help but to be flattered by his accent, his flattery, his looks, etc. And because she is human, being tortured or just kidnapped by supernatural beings is genuinely terrifying and he comforts her? I hope this is all okay! Of course you can change or add whatever you’d like. I love Klaus so much, and I love your writing!

Description: If the great Niklaus Mikaelson wants to become closer to the reader then he would have to push through thick and thin to do so.

Warnings: she/her pronouns, fluff, swearing

*Requests are open, please send through as many requests as you want, check my character list and requesting rules.*

Thank you for requesting this! I hope you enjoy it! I really tried my best to show this eventual bonding that is more realistic, while also not rambling on for a story length.

Key: Y/N = Your Name, L/N = Last name, POV = Point of view, F/fs = favourite flowers

Word Count: 1, 915

First Person's POV 

Niklaus Mikaelson drove me insane, I do not understand how he thought he could follow me around, begging for my interest like he hasn't done anything wrong to those around him. The great Klaus Mikaelson was many things but he wasn't the type of man I would bend over backwards to show that their past didn't matter. I won't lie, there were times when it was hard to really show my distaste for the Hybrid due to that accent, his looks and his charisma but I do like to pride myself on my stubbornness and the fact that I'm not that easy to charm. 

Besides Matt, I was the only other human, sure Bonnie was in a sense human but she had her magic to protect her and I had nothing. I didn't have any of that. I was just a straight-up human who could die at any second or become permanently injured if tossed around too harshly. The girls have grown to somewhat like him and every now and again will remind me of the fact that not once has he ever tried to hurt me, not once has he ever used me as bait or tried threatening me in any way shape or form.

Bonnie, Caroline and Elena have all expressed their hatred for the man and it only fueled mine. I have no clue what it would take for me to show any sign of sympathy for the man or any sense of forgiveness considering what he's done. There were times when I even disliked Damon and Stefan for what they've done. Sure, it might be contractionary of me to like the Salvatores and not hate them like I did Klaus... but still. 

It's at least been a good two years of having the Mikaelsons in our lives. Rebekah and Elijah were tolerable. I felt for Rebekah and Elijah seemed true to his word, even if he was sometimes conflicted between his family and his morals. Klaus was 

"Hey, Y/n!" I huffed, stopping in my tracks, knowing there was no use in continuing on when he could easily Casper the ghost right in front of me. I crossed my arms over my chest, raising an eyebrow, not impressed by his persistent attitude. 

"What do you want Niklaus? 

"Well, love... I was hoping I could treat you to some dinner. Show you some of the best places. Things you couldn't possibly comprehend seeing." I rolled my eyes, shook my head, sucked my lips into a straight line and raised an eyebrow.

"Really, Niklaus? Every time it's been a no. What makes you think this will be a yes?" 

"I saw your play last night, I think you are a pretty amazing actress." I didn't believe him, I think that he's making stuff up, trying to show that he's a good guy. 

"Prove it, what happened when the actor playing Stanley threw his chair." Klaus chuckled lightly, licking his lips for a moment before he walked closer and leaned in for a moment. 

"You tripped over your own feet, fell over... you worked it into your performance, no one in that audience would've known any different. I think skill like that is pretty talented. I have seen many performers across my lifetime and not many could do that." I rocked on my feet, biting my lips and huffing for a moment. 

"You came to my performance?" I questioned my tone soft for a moment, surprised that Klaus came. The girls weren't able to due to supernatural issues happening again, I didn't want to show any sign of falling for his charm.

"Yes, I did. I don't know why you sound so surprised..." I shrugged, taking a breath, glancing away for a moment trying to remain as stoic as I could.  

"I have to go, goodbye, Klaus." I carried on my way, going back to doing what I originally planned on doing before. Tonight was the closing night of A Streetcar Named Desire the girls were meant to show but once again due to the new big bad in town, they didn't show. I stood in my dressing room, wiping off my makeup before the tears could come. I was just about to open the door before I was stopped by Klaus.

"K-Klaus... what, what are you doing here?" He handed me a bouquet of my F/fs, I took them with a small smile and stepped aside to allow him into the dressing room. 

"You got your own dressing room, that's pretty neat..." The Hybrid trailed off, glancing at the desk that was covered in tissues, I moved to clean them up but he moved in front of me before I could. 

"Why are you crying...?" 

"I'm okay Niklaus." I turned to him hearing his chuckle, I raised an eyebrow in question, how dare he laugh at me!

"I promise, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at the fact that when I'm getting closer to breaking down your walls, you call me Klaus but when you realise that you're dropping your walls you go right back to calling me Niklaus." I sat back down, staring at him surprised that he picked up on something that I hadn't actively been aware of doing. 

"My friends couldn't come. They promised that they would but because of the new big bad in town... they couldn't and because I'm human-" Realising I was sharing my than I would like to Klaus, I bit my lip trying to remind myself that I couldn't get close to Klaus. 

"Let me read you something." He pulled out a newspaper, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, just for once but turned my attention to continuing to remove my makeup. 

"Y/n L/n's performance as Blanche DuBois has been spectacular on all nights of the production. In my years as a critic, I have never seen this much dedication and accuracy similar to the vision Tennessee Williams had when picturing Blanche DuBois. I admire Y/n greatly as a performer and know that she is an actress highly dedicated to perfecting her characters' mannerisms and hope that she goes far with her acting journey." I stared at Klaus surprised, I jumped to my feet, staring at Klaus with intrigue and took the paper from his hands. 

I read the words, staring at them in shock that this was actually true, the author's name is what shocked me the most. Klaus M

"You wrote this?" 

"I did." 

"And you mean it?" 

"I do." Maybe... maybe if a man who didn't know me could make the time to watch all of my performances... maybe he wasn't so bad. 

"Thank you, Klaus... it means a lot." 

It took two years, four months and 18 days for Klaus Mikaelson to get me to warm up to him, I think I deserve a trophy for just how long I've made him work to get to know me better. The truth is, I am terrified of getting killed, kidnapped or tortured by the supernatural me, I mean what if someone worse than Klaus comes into town and because I am one of the very few humans left in town I get used as collateral? 

I was walking home from the Grill, minding my own business until everything went dark and I finally came to find myself tied up in a chair, blood dripping from my nose, head and stomach. I cried out, looking around terrified of who could be hurting me and what they would do if they didn't get what they wanted. 

"Hmm, you're awake again. Try not to pass out this time... the blood loss will really be screwing with your head. I would apologise but I really don't care I just need that damn hybrid to come forward and save your ass-" 

"Who are you?" I cried out, trying my best to not show weakness but the pain in my limbs and the fear that was coming in made it impossible to think of anything but my pain. 

"Who I am isn't important, I tried to keep your face pretty but you know." The unknown figure shrugs, leaning in closer and grabbing my face in his hands with a glare forming and with a snarl he reveals his fangs. I shake my head, feeling his breath on my skin and whimper feeling his fangs pierce my neck. 

It fades away swiftly, the tears cascade down my cheeks, and I stare in shock seeing Klaus standing there and dropping the man's heart onto the floor. Within an instant I was in his arms, I grabbed onto his shirt letting out a sob and whimpering as the pain seemed to increase. 

"Shh, love, it's okay... you're gonna be okay. I've got you." Klaus reassured, biting into his wrist, he gestures to his wrist and I slowly suck on his wrist. 

"I won't let anything happen to you, love. I am very fond of you, I will not let anything happen before I can tell you just how fond I am of you." I stared in fascination as my body healed instantly, it always surprised me and always made me curious to realise how lucky these supernatural beings were. 

"Please, please don't let them hurt me. Don't let them get to me." 

"It's okay, love. I've got you." 

"I'm so scared, every day, I'm scared that I'm going to be kidnapped or tortured... being human, I know I'm nothing compared-"

"I won't let that happen. Love, I won't let anyone hurt you, not again. I swear to you." He hummed lightly, rocking me in his arms and whispered over and over again kind and soothing words. I decided to bring it back to his starting words, once I felt okay and able to move on from what just happened. 

"You're fond of me? Nothing new-" I stated, with a shrug, biting back the smile I wanted to show, Klaus chuckled and helped me to my feet. I stared at him, surely making a weird expression as I hid my emotions. 

"I am fond of you, I like you, quite a bit and I want you to know, love I will do anything to keep you safe. Even if you hate me for the rest of eternity, I will do what I can to keep you safe." My heart skipped a beat, it made me feel special knowing that someone cared for me that much, I nodded and sucked in a breath gradually letting a smile come through. 

"Thank you for saving me... "

"You're welcome, love. Love, I hope you know how gorgeous you are." I blushed, scrunching my face up as his normal charm got to me more than normal. 

"Flattery only gets you so far." 

"Yet, it got me to becoming closer to you." I shrugged, smirking for a moment and sucked in a deep breath. I grabbed his hand, smiling happily and tried my best to not focus in on the blood on my clothes, his clothes and the floor from the attacker. 

"Well, then, perhaps I'll let you in closer." 

[bevy-obeyme]

I know you're super busy but if you have the time, I wanted to request a Trans FtM MC with the brothers, mostly headcanons or cute shenanigans! Like asking the brothers helping MC recover from Top Surgery!!! Please it would make my year!! Thank you so much for reading!

Of course! It’s no problem and I’ll try to get all my asks done today!! :))

I really appreciate requests that give me different prompts because I myself as I have stated numerous times am a cis female and being introduced to other perspectives is really intriguing for me!!

Shenanigans with the brothers as a Temale to Male MC

Lucifer - Top Surgery.

- No doubt, going into surgery was a nerve wracking thing. He could only admire your bravery to do so.. and hold your hand in comfort as you walked in.

- You got registered in and sat in the doctor’s office, Lucifer was sat besides you rubbing your knuckles absentmindedly and pressing kisses against your cheek, reminding you that you’d do great.

- Post surgery - he could see your delight, your newfound comfort in being more masculine. He couldn’t help the tiny smile that dotted on his face at your happiness.

- He did notice the scars and was always careful when admiring you. In fact, he seemed to be even more enamoured. Those scars were a sign of strength. A sign of resilience.

‘’No matter what you look like, you’ll always remain mine. And that’s all that matters.’’

Mammon - A lower class demon misgendering you.

- You bet, he would be hella pissed.

- You both were walking through the town square, hand in hand when suddenly his demonic hearing picked up on snickering.

- Snickers about you and transphobic comments.

- How dare they make such comments about you? So he yelled out to them.

- If that didn’t work, he would literally square up on them. Give them an intimidating glare and go up to them with his hands on his hips, you behind him as he rambled off, insulting the inferior demon’s intelligence and what not.

- At one point, you had to literally hold him back as you could swear he was about to throw hands.

‘’Yea’, yea! Walk away, I dare ya! Stupid scum! Next time I see ya bastards hangin’ around, insulting MY ____, yer gonna regret it!’’

Leviathan - Cosplaying to combat body dysmorphia.

- Levi noticed just how sad you looked in the Ruri-chan cosplay.

- Sure, you agreed to cosplay with him but he still felt bad about taking up your time.. he should’ve known a stupid otaku like him would only take up your time.

- However, then the realisation dawned on him. Ruri-chan was a girl and you were trying to transition… oh. OH.

- To say he felt horrible was an understatement, and he immediately offered to switch cosplays. He reassured that you still looked masculine and that a gender-bend Ruri-chan wasn’t that bad of an idea.

‘’Y-You look so cool as Ruri-chan! Who cares if she’s a girl? C-Cosplaying is all about the fun of it!’’

Satan - Helping insecurity and deep rooted inferiority.

- Satan could see it. Even if you never stated it, that you held a lot of gender envy towards him and his brothers.

- He sympathised with you. Feeling like you were born in the wrong body was awful no doubt. And the fact that you would always feel inferior to ‘real’ men.

- But Satan always countered that - what defined a ‘real’ man? Sure, anatomy might be one answer, but the second was identity.

- Gender was nothing but a social custom. Dresses being feminine? An opinion. Suits being masculine? Also an opinion. Mindsets, emotions and thoughts didn’t have a set gender and Satan made sure to express that clearly, hell, you’ve seen his brothers haven’t you?

- His tone was logical and firm. Reassuring you that you were justified in being who you were and that labelling yourself as a man was okay.

‘’Don’t let other people drag you down to their levels of simplicity. I’ll love you no matter the form you take ____.’’

Asmodeus - Help diminish masculine stereotypes.

- He too noticed your gender envy. But the avatar of lust had a different way of dealing with it.

- Any time you two went out, he’d make sure to apply makeup, wear skirts, high heels - any ‘feminine’ thing you could think of just to show you there was no harm expressing yourself in a ‘girly’ manner even as a man.

- He also did it to place the attention on him. He didn’t care for the confused looks or admirers. He strutted like he owned the place and he wanted you to do the same.

‘’Confidence is a lifestyle darling. Once you begin living it, people will love you for the amazing man you are.’’

Beelzebub - To feel more masculine.

- Beel was a regular at the gym and his clubs, that was fact. And so, you could argue he was the most masculine with his chiseled form.

- When you came up to him and requested to attend the gym with him to build muscle, he was more than happy for you to accompany him. It did get a bit lonely going by himself at times.

- He helped you bulk on calories and encouraged what foods to eat and to avoid when building muscle.

- However, he also reassured you that you didn’t have to gain muscle to be a ‘man’ and that you were handsome enough as is.

‘’I know I don’t say it often but.. I love you how you are ____. Don’t feel the need to change for other people. But, I won’t stop you if you truly do it for yourself.’’

Belphegor - Comforting you after being deadnamed.

- Belphegor knew that you still had issues transitioning. It was normal - your whole life would change as people viewed you differently. But not him. In his heart, you were still the little human that got him to love the quirks of humanity again.

- However, after being woken up by your cries and hearing of what happened, he immediately came to reassure you that people like that were idiots and random nobodies. Why bother putting up with self-conscious fools who had nothing better to do than hate you for being happy?

- He pulled you close to his chest and snuggled into you, all the while asking about the low class demons that deadnamed you - you didn’t want to know what he would do to them.

‘’I’m telling you ____, don’t bother time with idiots.. they’re all mindless demons that somehow Lord Diavolo hasn’t eradicated yet.’’

[garciaasfluffypen]

things are changing (and only for the better)

pairing: jemily x adhd!reader word count: 2.8k warnings: dialouge heavy, alcohol use, discussions of ethical non-monagamy/polyamory a/n: please please PLEASE tell me if i get anything about polyamory wrong in this series. i myself am not polyamorous, and i want to do this justice. if i'm doing anything wrong or harmful in my writing please let me know.

it had been weeks since you had a girls night with emily and jj, and you were thanking all the gods out there that you finally got to have one. 

the team had been whisked off on three back to back cases, leaving everyone begging for the weekend off. once it was granted, the first text you got before you even left the office was a message from jj stating “our house, wine, 30 minutes?” with an outstanding “YES PLEASE!!” being sent back within seconds of receiving the text from your favorite blonde. emily and jj had been amazing to you since figuring out about your adhd diagnosis, and knew how deliberating it could be if you weren’t on your medication. the inattentiveness had been your downfall multiple times, but your team knew how to accommodate you and make sure all of your needs were met to ensure you could work at your full capacity. specifically jj and emily. 

being on the medication around the team was very important to you. it was something you had been weary of, keeping them from seeing your adhd funks. it still was something you didn’t want to subject them too just yet. despite being on the team for a few years and being friends with them for longer, you had done a good job at keeping the full nature of your funks away from the team and frankly… you wanted to keep it that way. the only person who had seen you in your funk so far was hotch, but that was because you had fallen asleep at the office on a thursday night and didn’t get the chance to pick up your meds on the way home from work. and besides, you didn’t want to hear it from them, about how stupid you were for not taking your medication when you relied on it to keep your brain from shutting down. it had happened before, you forgot your meds at your apartment and had a date that ultimately ended up in you staying at your exes place. when you woke up the next morning and realized, they were upset when they realized you would be in one of your funks and practically shoved you out the door. 

you’d hate yourself if you lost emily and jj like that. 

you shook yourself out of your thoughts and grabbed the fruit platter you had picked up from sam’s club on the way to the house, heading over to the side door that you knew led straight to the kitchen. emily and jj were quietly talking to themselves by the counter, sending a wave of worry through you. they couldn’t be talking about you, right? they invited you over, they wanted you here, they--

“y/n!” jj’s eyes lit up as she saw you, coming over and pulling you in for a hug. “i was starting to think you didn’t want to come.”

“i wanted to get the fruit platter you guys like.” you sheepishly replied, a red hue covering your cheeks. “i felt bad coming empty handed.” 

“you know you don’t have to bring us anything, lovey.” 

your heart jolted as emily called you lovey, the nickname naturally falling out of her lips. lovey… you liked that.  

“i know, but i wanted to.” you shrugged. “it's the least i can do for all you’ve done with me the past couple weeks.” 

“you having proper accommodations is important, y/n. we want you to be comfortable.” 

you smiled at the brunette. “it means a lot to me, really, and i never really properly thanked you for being so attentive to everything.” 

jj came to squeeze your hand. “you don’t need to thank us. just being here is more than enough.” 

the blush found it's way back to your cheeks as you looked down, barely registering the look emily and jj shared before you felt a finger under your chin, lifting it to make you look into emily’s eyes. that was something new, something she had never done with you before. 

and you… liked it? 

“what were you feeling for dinner?”

“i’m not super picky,” you paused. “on nights like these i typically do something easy like mac and cheese or ramen or something but we don’t have to do that if you guys want something else.” 

emily chuckled, a loving glint in her eye. “if you want mac and cheese, we can get mac and cheese.” 

“i don’t want to make you guys special order me mac and cheese, you really don’t--”

“y/n.” jj locked eyes with you. “it’s on us tonight, promise. go put on your cozy clothes and get comfortable, yeah? we’ll get dinner set.” 

“i don’t want to be a bother…” 

“you’re never a bother, not to us.” jj paused. “is your rejection dysphoria acting up again?” 

“a little bit.” 

“do you want to talk about it?”

“can i get a glass of wine in my system before we talk about it?”

“of course. now go get cozy, i’m ready to curl up on the couch and shit talk all the stupid people we’ve run into over the past few weeks.” 

jj watched you as you chuckled and sauntered off to the main room before quickly turning around and running to grab your go bag before heading back in. emily came up and wrapped her arms around jj from behind, placing her head on the blonde’s shoulder. 

“y’know, this could be the last moments of us without y/n in our lives.”

“emily!” jj swatted at her arm. “don’t you dare say that.” 

“i’m just saying!” emily shot jj a joking look. “considering how they reacted to the finger under the chin, i doubt that will be an issue we’ll need to worry about, though.” 

“i hope so.” jj turned so she was facing emily. “i really like them, i like them a lot. and i want them to know that i can love both of you equally.” 

“and we’ll explain it to them if they decide they want to be our girlfriend, yeah?” emily squeezed jj’s hands. “we’ll take it one step at a time.” 

“do you think they like us?” 

“i would sure hope so, or else they wouldn’t be here.” emily looked to jj. “do you think they don’t like us?”

“it’s hard to tell with them, i’ll be honest. i’m just nervous they’re going to say no and everything is going to be messed up. i don’t even know if we fully explained the polyamory thing to them.” 

“i don’t think we did either, now that i’m thinking about it.” emily bit her lip. “okay so we start with that then.” 

“we start with that.”

emily and jj found a restaurant with something all three of you would want before ordering, making sure it would be there in a timely manner before heading out into the living room. emily went to change into her comfy clothes first, leaving her in a pair of yale sweatpants and an old shirt of jj’s that neither of them knew the origins of. returning with the wine she had been itching to pull out all week, emily plopped herself down on the couch and handed you a glass, smiling at you fondly as you took it while you bounced a mile a minute, talking about something you had seen on tik tok on the jet earlier. jj changed into the flannel pants she had stolen from emily eons ago, a pale blue oversized t shirt sitting on her small frame. jj came and sat on the other side of you, the way the three of you typically sat during girls nights, both women giving you all the attention you could desire while on one of your tangents. 

something was off, though. you could feel the vibe shift about an hour and a half into the night, your meals all discarded on the coffee table while you and emily nursed another glass of wine. jj had opted for her favorite beer at that point, the bottle opener sitting next to an empty styrofoam container with the discards of jj’s meal. your energy slowly faded as the dread started to set in, the rejection sensitive dysphoria feelings coming in full swing. you felt yourself start to get into a daze, fingers playing with the hem of your tee as you stared off into space. it took emily a minute to realize what was happening before she placed a supportive arm around you and pulled you close, placing a kiss to the top of your head. 

“what’s up, y/n?”

“the vibe is off.” you said, quieter than you had been the rest of the night. “something’s wrong.” 

“well, we did want to tell you something.” jj started. “it’s not bad. nothing bad is happening right now, but we were holding off on telling you in case you didn’t…” she paused. “how do i say this without sounding like an asshole?”

“we’re scared that you’ll see us differently after we tell you what we want to talk to you about.” 

“okay…” you looked between them, noticing genuine concern. “i’m gonna need more wine, aren’t i?” 

emily chuckled, the smile you know and love crossing her features. “well, that depends on how you take what we’re about to tell you.”

“i don’t need to be scared, right?” 

“not at all.” jj squeezed your hand, coming closer to you on the couch and leaning into your other side. “unless you see like a ghost or something. then you can be scared.” 

you chuckled. “i doubt there’s going to be a ghost in your house, jayje.” 

“you never know!” jj smiled slightly, glad that you weren’t too deep into the feeling of despair and could joke with her. “all kidding aside, are you in a mental state to have this conversation or do you want to sober up a little bit?” 

“no no, i’m okay.” you nodded. “as long as i don’t stand up. that’s when it’s all going to go to my head.” 

“understandable.” emily rested her cheek against the top of your head. “remember how you saw me talking to tara about that girl i saw who i wanted to get to know?”

“um.. i think so. the one from the coffee shop?”

“exactly.” emily paused. “it didn’t work out, unfortunately, but that was partially because we hadn’t even began talking about this.” 

“so, as you know, we've been exploring the idea of… seeing other people.”  jj piped in, pausing to pick her next words carefully. “but we never fully explained to you what we meant by that.”

“we’ve been exploring polyamory.” it was emily’s turn to pause, gauging your reaction. “the two of us, sharing another partner.”

“cool.” you smiled, relieved it wasn’t something horrible. ”have you found anyone yet?” 

you could have sworn you saw both emily and jj visibly relax. 

“well, thats the thing. we’re not sure if they realized they were being flirted with… or that we’re interested in them that way.” 

you popped a grape in your mouth. “tell me everything, how does this work? wait! tell me about them!” 

emily smiled. “well, they’re easily one of our favorite people ever.” 

“have you known them long?” 

“about five years, give or take. em, when did we meet them?” 

“god, what was it… christmas of twenty nineteen, right?” 

interesting. you met the team in twenty nineteen after penelope dragged you to a girls night just after thanksgiving. what a coincidence. 

“they’ve been friends with us for a while. we’ve only recently started flirting with them about six months ago.” 

jj smiled fondly. “although like em said, we can’t tell if they’ve realized we’re flirting with them yet.”

“so they’re a bit aloof. that’s charming.” you smiled at them. “i’m so glad you guys found someone, i fully thought you guys were flirting with me these past few months.” 

there was an awkward pause. 

“wait… why are you… am i the someone?” 

emily cleared her throat, grabbing for her glass of wine. oh. 

oh.

“i am the someone.” 

“we like you, y/n.” jj grabbed your hand. “more than a friend. and i know that sounds weird, and you can say no- we’re not pressuring you to do anything or make any decisions tonight.” 

“i…” you paused. “how did you… are you guys okay? like, relationship wise?”

“we’re more than okay, i promise.” emily squeezed your other hand. 

“we’ve been talking about it, just the two of us, for a few months.” jj licked her lips. “the only other person who knows is tara, she’s gotten us in touch with a great support group that has everything we need to know about getting started.” 

“both of us realized we wanted something more, but didn’t want to end things at all.” emily explained. “we figured out that both of us had too much love to share with just one person, we wanted to share it with someone else.” 

“so… wait, can i ask questions?” 

“of course, babe.” 

“how would this work? the three of us?” you paused. “you’re… married.” 

“we know it won’t be easy, since you’ll never be able to officially legally be with both of us unless some magical law goes into effect that changes the world's view on polyamory. but, it would be like any normal relationship, but you would get both myself and jj. there would be boundaries and rules, and we would talk about those only if you want to give us a shot.” 

“we would want you to be as happy and relaxed and comfortable as you can be. everything is open to be talked about, especially when it comes to your comfort levels. and like we said, you can tell us to shut up whenever you want and we would.”

“and if i were to ask to kiss emily?” 

“then i would say yes, do it.”

“and the same goes for jj?”

“i would want you to do what makes you the happiest.” jj kicked emily’s shin. “i mean, i’d say yes.” 

“sorry i’m… i’m trying to wrap my brain around this. it’s being slow. you guys like me?” 

emily chuckled. “yes, lovey. a lot.” 

“more than you know.” jj nudged your shoulder lightly. “is that okay? that we both like you?”

“you know i’m queer, of course it's okay.” 

“but are you okay with that?” 

“why wouldn’t i be?” you looked between emily and jj. “have you gotten turned down before?”

“not in this aspect, no.” emily answered. “but yes, i have been turned down plenty of times.” 

“and i dated men in my past.” jj chuckled. “do with that information what you will.”

“yeah… men are stupid.” you chuckled. “okay so, hold on. i’d be dating both of you then?” 

“only if you want to.” 

“we’re not pressuring you at all. you can take some time to think about it-”

“- no no, it sounds really nice. dating both of you.” you smiled. “i just never thought…” 

“y/n, no matter what you think, you are loveable.” jj turned your face to look you in the eye. “you are loveable and you deserve the world.” 

“and we want to give you the world.” 

“we’d give you the universe, if we could.” 

“so what do you need from me?”

“your word.”

jj looked at you, a stern look overtaking her features. gods, did the room just get warmer?

“you tell us yes or no, and we go from there. we don’t want you to-”

“the answer is yes.” you stumbled over your words, jj’s look affecting you more than you thought. “i’d love to be your girlfriend.” 

both emily and jj let out a sigh of relief, bringing you in for a hug. it was real, it was happening. they didn’t read the situation wrong and you liked them back. you liked them back, and you said yes. 

“in that case, as our girlfriend, what do you want to do?” 

“can i kiss you?”

“of course you can.” 

you turned to jj. “and then can i kiss you?”

“please.” 

“then it's settled. i give you some smoochies, we binge ice cream and watch silly reality tv.” you smiled, nodding once. “the perfect night in.” 

emily and jj chuckled at your happiness, bringing you in as close as they could muster. you turned to emily first, placing a small peck on her lips to test the water before cupping her cheek, smiling into the kiss. you then turned to jj, who simply smiled widely at you before meeting you in the middle for the kiss. while it was an interesting scenario, you found yourself feeling comfortable. you were in the arms of two of the most important people in your life, and things were going to change. 

but they were changing for the better.

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐫 • 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦

💌𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Someone give me a plot where muse a happens to be someone famous (actor, athlete, etc) who has a bad reputation. Enters muse b who is a pr manager, who got hired to deal with them. The two gets off on the wrong foot, but thing is they’re stuck with each other until muse b’s contract end. They’re forced to be around one another and even have to share the same room in the hotel as they travel. One thing leads to the other and they begin developing feelings for one another. Muse a then finds out some horrible life changing news and cuts all ties with muse b, even getting them fired. However, one night muse b gets drunk and calls muse a telling them how much they miss them.

🏷️𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.8k(I'm sick)

🏷️𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, angst

🏷️𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: Jude hates reader, a blonde in this, some guy named Jeff. Denise is apart of this

🏷️𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: Jude Bellingham x PR manager reader

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: this took way to long to write lol enjoy

Jude Bellingham Masterlist

⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝꒷۰꒷⏝

Jude was a messy man.

He knew it. Everyone knew it and his team especially knew it.

After joining real Madrid Jude fame grew over night. Score after score he became one of the best players of this generation. With that came lots of girls which also came lots of gossip.

None of it was good for the young footballer. He had years ahead of him and needed to keep it all clean.

Luckily for Jude his team came up with a solution. They’re going to hire you.

You’re a pr manager. You were young and fresh into your career but nonetheless good at what you do. It was only fitting that they hired you to help keep Jude’s imagine clean before something happened.

Reader pov

I typed away at your computer, answering whatever email that came through. Today was the day I was meeting Jude to discuss my job with him. Nerves took over me, it wasn’t every day I met a famous footballer. Before this I only worked with smaller celebrities, never anyone big like him so I was nervous.

A knock at the door snapped me out of my typing. I cleared my throat before speaking.

“Come in please.”

The door swung open slowly revealing jude. The 6ft man walked into my office without uttering a word. He looked upset about something, but still butterflies filled my stomach for some odd reason.

“um.. sit please.” I pointed to the chair sitting across from me Jude did as I asked and sat down in the chair.

“so what are we doing?” he asked in a plain tone. I frowned. We’re not off to a good start it seems.

“hello to you too Mr. Bellingham.” I meet his brown eyes. “I was going to shake your hand, but it seems like we’ve already got to the point. I’m y/n and I’m your PR manager.”

“why do I need a PR manager? I can manage myself.” He said with a loud exhale. I swear I saw him roll his eyes at me, but I ignored it.

“ Mr. Bellingh-“

“stop calling me that. Call me Jude.” He snapped stopping me.

I put on a fake smile. I was getting frustrated with him and we haven’t even been talking for 5 minutes.

“Ok Jude, the reason I’m your PR manager is because you’re messy. You sleep with plenty of girls and they run to gossip blogs for their 5 minutes of fame and it’s ruining your image.”

I sat back in my chair, throwing the pencil on the table.

“Now if you don’t want me to help you keep your image clean then too bad because you’re stuck with me for 2 years due to a contract.”

Jude looked at me. His jaw clenched meaning I got under his skin. Good. If he wants to be an asshole than so will I. Two can play this game.

“fine. Are we done here?” clearly he was ready for this to be over and so did I to be honest.

“Yes, we are. It was nice to meet you. Have a good day.”

I picked up my pencil back up and began writing. Jude sucked his teeth and got up. He walked out of the room slamming the door a little bit. I rolled my eyes. He was going to be hell.

Jude’s pov

I hate her guts. I don’t know why my team even hired her. She was bitchy, something I didn’t like. I didn’t need anyone to keep my image clean. Quite frankly I was doing fine so what was the purpose of her.

I walked out of the building to the car where my mom sat. She noticed the shift in my mood the second I got in.

“how did it go?”

“I don’t like her.” I mumbled as I put on my seatbelt.

“why don’t you like her?” she asked as she put the car in drive. I sighed. “I don’t know. I’m just not feeling her vibe.”

She hummed and I looked at her. “maybe you’ll warm up to her.”

I doubt it.

Reader pov

Today was my first day working with Jude. I dreaded this. After how our first meeting went I wasn’t ready to deal with his sass.

I was going to the ballon d’or with him. I had to make sure he didn’t answer anything weird or meet up with anyone. Anyone being girls.

Under the request of Jude’s other team members I would be flying with him on a private jet.

I wasn’t too happy about this. If I could I would fly commercial, but I needed to act like I loved this.

I arrived at the airport way before everyone else did. As always my attention was very much on my laptop answering emails.

“You’re here early.” I heard behind me. I turned around to see Jude standing there, but not by himself, but with another woman who looked exactly like him.

“yes I am.” I shut my laptop and stood up. “its nice to meet you. I’m y/n.”

I stuck my hand out to the woman. She smiled and shook it. Finally someone nice.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Denise.” I smiled back at her. “ok the plane will be here in 20 minutes.” I say. I pick up my laptop sticking it in my laptop bag.

Those 20 minutes went by fast and before I knew it we were on the plane. I sat in the back and struck up a conversation with Denise. O I could feel Jude’s pissed off energy as I spoke with her, but that didn’t stop my conversation.

Jude’s pov

I hate watching her talk to my mom. Ever since we got on the plane they’ve been talking about something and I hated it. Hearing her laugh pissed me off and so did her voice.

I turned to my phone trying to block out their conversation, but her laughter cut through. I’m already sick of her and we haven’t even known each other for that long.

Eventually the plane landed and we were finally getting off. I was the first off and into the car that was going to drive us to the hotel. Later y/n and my mom climbed in.

The car ride was silent up until y/n spoke. “um so since we’re only getting two hotels, Denise and mark are of course sharing one and me and you Jude are sharing.”

I felt my blood boil when I heard what she said. Could this week get any worse.

“what? I’m not sharing a room with you. I’ll buy you your own room, I’m not sharing with you.” she was about to say something until my mom spoke.

“Jude, you’re sharing a room with her and that’s final. I don’t want to hear anymore complaining from you.”

I ran my hand down my face and sighed. “fine.”

Great now she has my mom taking her side. I swear I could see y/n smirking out the corner of my eyes which made it worse. Can’t wait for this to be over.

Y/n pov

Once we reached the hotel room Jude was off. I suspected it was because he was embarrassed after his mom yelled at him.

I grabbed a room key and made my way to the room where I will be staying with Jude.

When I unlocked the door I was faced with Jude.

His hands were on his hips as he stared at the bed. The bed!

There was only one fucking bed.

I dropped my bags as the door clicked behind me.

“this day of course can get worse. Not only am I sharing a room with you, I’m sharing a bed as well.” Jude mumbled.

He muttered a few curse words after and sat down in the chair in the corner of the room.

“I can go see if they can get us a two bed room.”

I turned around ready to leave, but Jude stopped me.

“don’t bother. This hotel is packed. There won’t be any rooms left.”

“ok.” I sighed. “Well I’ll try not to take to much space up. I’m small anyways.”

Jude didn’t say a word to me so I took this as a sign to not say anything else. It was late at night so I got myself ready for sleep. Getting my clothes, taking a quick shower and climbing in bed all while acting as if Jude doesn’t exist.

Jude entered the bathroom once I climbed under the covers. Sleep over took me before I got a chance to watch him come out.

The next day I woke up to my alarm.

I groaned, reaching over to the nightstand to turn it off. I was about to get up until I felt an arm around me. Pushing back the covers I looked at it.

It was Jude’s of course.

I turned around to see Jude passed out, Mouth open slightly. He was sleeping peacefully, but I refuse to let a jackass have a day of peace.

“get up! Balloon d’or day!”

I slapped his cheeks and he woke up with a jerk. I removed his arm from me climbing out of bed. I said nothing about the incident, but I’m sure he knows.

Jude’s pov

I can’t believe my arms were wrapped around y/n as I woke up. I swear I was on the other side of the bed when I went to sleep, but subconsciously I must have wrapped myself around her over the night.

I got up to get myself ready. Today was a special day: it was balloon d’or day.

Me and y/n traded places in the bathroom and that was the last time. I didn’t see her again till it was time to go to the awards.

“Are we ready to go?” she asked me but my attention wasn’t on her words. It was on her figure. She stood there in front of me in a black dress with light makeup. It was obvious she was trying not to stand out, but I couldn’t deny she looked stunning.

“jude.” She called out my name and I looked at her face that had a frown on it. “are you ready?”

I nodded. “yeah” I cleared my throat. “ I’m ready.”

She smiled awkwardly and turned around to walk out the hotel room. I sighed knowing she caught me staring.

Y/n pov

I caught Jude looking at me earlier and those butterflies filled my stomach as he did so. I hated my body for reacting like that.

I pushed it to the back of my mind . When we got the d’or ceremony Jude took some pictures for the ceremony. When he finished we made our way inside and separated for the rest of the evening.

Jude won a kopa trophy. I was happy for him no doubt. I let him know when we returned back to our shared hotel room.

“ congratulations.”

Jude sat his kopa on the desk in the room. “thanks.” He gave me a soft smile before pulling off his suit coat.

I sat down on the bed with a sigh, pulling off my heels. When they finally off I climbed back and laid on the perfectly made bed and shut my eyes.

I can hear Jude moving around the room, but I ignored him.

In the middle of me shutting my eyes I fell into a slumber. I didn’t realize until I felt someone shaking me.

I groaned, opening my eyes. It was Jude.

“what?”

“you can’t sleep on top of the blanket you know that right?” Jude said in an annoyed tone.

I sat up. “you don’t have to be an asshole about it.” I got up and pulled the blanket back as I heard Jude, who’s back is facing me, suck his teeth. I got under the blanket, still in my dress but I didn’t care. I was too tired to care.

Jude walked to his side of the bed. He was only wearing boxers, no shirt unlike last night. “where’s your shirt?”

Jude pulled back the cover and got under.

“Why are you worrying about it?”

It was now my turn to suck my teeth. I laid down turning my back to him and drifted off to sleep, ready for this day to be over.

Jude pov

I woke up this morning feeling great. Last night I won my kopa and I couldn’t be more excited about that.

I stretched ready to get up, but something heavy on my chest stopped me. I looked down to see y/n laying on my chest.

This is the second time we ended up tangled in each other arms. I couldn’t lie I love having someone cuddling up to me in the morning, but knowing it was y/n pissed me off despite my heart fluttering in my chest.

I shook y/n. “wake up.”

y/n opened her eyes. She looked over at absolutely disgusted. It took everything in me not to laugh at her face.

“time to get up. We got a flight back to Madrid.” I got up to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I got out of the bathroom y/n was now up. She was in absolutely nothing seeing how her dress was now pooled on the floor.

Her back was facing me but that didn’t stop me from tearing my eyes away from her.

“Fuck y/n. At least tell me you’re changing.”

“sorry. That’s what happens when you share a room.” She mumbled as I Heard clothes being thrown around.

A brief moment of silence fell between the two of us before y/n spoke.

“you can look now Jude.”

Turning around she was now in some jeans and a shirt. A smirk painted her face making me roll my eyes and go back to what I was doing so we could leave sooner.

--

A few days have passed since we returned to Madrid. I went back to training and Y/n went back to working in her office where she said she wouldn’t bother me.

I was relieved. Tonight I was going to make the most of it.

I found myself inside the sweaty club with a drink in my hand. Several girls have already came up to me begging for my attention. I made small talk to be polite, but I didn’t give them much. They were gold digging and trying to sleep with me more than anything.

I’m not sure what’s gotten into me. Any other time I’d be excited to talk to a bunch of girls but not today.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in my system, but I couldn’t stop thinking about y/n.

Her tan skin, soft lips, and pretty eyes filled my head. I stared at her so much that every little detail about her was burned into my mind. She was like a fog I couldn’t clear from my head. I didn’t really hate her if I’m being completely honest. I was just an asshole the first day we met and haven’t changed because in my mom words I was stubborn.

As I sat staring off into space a girl came up and sat next to me. She was blonde, thin and had an ok face. She was ok looking, but I knew I wasn’t interested in her right away.

“How are you?” she asked, her flirty tone and toothy smile making me cringe. “ I’m good.” I brought my drink to my lips and drunk the rest of it. I hated that it was empty because I needed more.

For the next 15 minutes the girl tried to make conversation with me. It was clear she was trying to get in my pants. After a bit I was tired of listening to her. Without a word I got up and walked away. The blonde followed me making me roll my eyes. “where are you going?”

“ I’m going home.” I answered plainly. I stopped outside the club pulling out my phone ready to call a friend to pick me up.

I felt the girl hand trail up my arm. I looked at her with a disgusted look on my face. She really didn’t give up.

“I’m not interested darling. You can stop trying.”

She sighed, dropping her hand and rolling her eyes. “Fine, but you don’t know what you’re missing out on.”

She walked away with a dramatic stomp. I couldn’t help but laugh at how stupid it looked.

-

Y/n pov

My phone going off woke me from my beautiful slumber. I groaned reaching over and picking it up.

“hello?”

“y/n, it’s Jude.”

I sat up rubbing my eyes. “what do you want Bellingham?”

There was a brief silence on the other end before Jude spoke. “yesterday I went out to the club and a girl was trying to get my attention, but I wouldn’t let her. Moral of the story is someone took a picture of me and her and now its all over the internet.”

When Jude finished I groan. “oh my God. Ok I’m on it give me a few hours.”

I hung up the phone getting to work.

After two hours I did everything I could. Getting some of the pictures taken down and an article out stating he didn’t know that girl and left Alone that night.

The next time my phone rung it was of course Jude.

“yes Bellingham?”

“thank you for that. I didn’t think you were going to be able to do much.”

I scuffed. “I feel insulted that you think I wouldn’t be able to do anything. It’s my job, I’ll find a way.”

I heard Jude laugh on the other end making me smile.

“anything else you need Bellingham?” I asked. My voice softer than ever.

“yeah.” “what would that be?”

“call me Jude, darling.”

I felt butterflies fill my stomach at the name he gave me. “ok Jude.”

Jude POV

I feel good today. The day before, y/n fixed an issue I had. I don’t know why I thought I didn’t need a PR manager because I totally do.

We had a match today and I thought I’d repay her by inviting her to the game.

“you’re wearing my jersey?” I asked when I walked up to y/n and my mom. She turned around.

“Yeah.” She looked down at it “I was planning on wearing the other teams jersey, but I decided to be nice since you invited me.”

I rolled my eyes making her laugh. After greeting my mom I said my goodbyes and went to go get ready to play.

An hour later I was on the pitch chasing the ball. 50 minutes or so nothing went on until I somehow found the ball in the back of the net.

The crowd interrupted into a cheer, I ran to the edge of the field throwing my arms wide to celebrate, soaking in the love I was receiving.

When the game ended the team went to applauded the crowd. I found myself finding my mom in the stands. I waved to her earning a wave back. I see y/n standing there smiling at our interaction. I smiled seeing her standing there with my mom. She just fits there.

After the game I was reunited with them. I offered y/n to come with us to dinner but she passed up on it saying she had work to finish, so here me and my mom are on our way my ourselves.

“you like her don’t you?”

My mom asked out of nowhere in the car.

“what?” “I see the way you look at her, you like her.”

“I don’t.” I scrunched up my face. My mom laughed. “sure.”

Maybe she was right. The past few days a lot changed. The feelings I had for her was confusing. I never felt this way for anyone. This must be what liking someone felt like. Boy was I scared.

-

After dinner I made my way home. I was exhausted and ready to go to sleep.

When I got in bed I grabbed my phone and logged into Twitter. The first thing I see is a post about y/n. Everyone asking who she was. Lots of people speculated that she was my girlfriend and many said she was no one which isn’t exactly a lie.

I didn’t expect this to happen, but I hoped when she woke up the next morning she would fix it.

Y/n POV

I woke up to my notifications going off. Great what could it be this time I thought to myself.

I grabbed my phone to see what seemed like a million request to my Instagram. “what the fuck!”

I opened my phone to see why this was. The first thing I notice is a text from Jude.

I’m sorry  please be able to fix it

I’m confused so I opened Twitter. My face was plastered all over the app. It was because of yesterday’s game. They thought I was Jude’s girlfriend.

I cursed and pulled back the blanket hoping I could fix this before it got worse.

After an hour I couldn’t fix it. It was clear the damage was already done. I sat defeated. This was the worse thing that could happen to me. Not only did people know who I was but I was being harassed because they thought I was Jude’s girlfriend.

My phone rung, but I couldn’t bring myself to pick it up.. not right now.

I didn’t know what I was going to do. With my job being me following Jude around I knew this wouldn’t go well. His fangirls would always think we’re dating and will harass me. I knew I couldn’t work with Jude anymore for my sanity.

Jude POV

I tried to call y/n, but she didn’t pick up. She saw my text which meant she knew what was going on.

I feel bad. All I wanted was to repay her for fixing my problem, but ended up with an even bigger problem. If she’s pissed at me I wouldn’t be mad about it.

A few hours passed and y/n still hasn’t called or picked up any of my calls. I grew worried. I tried calling my other team members to see what they knew what was going on.

“jude?” my team member Jeff said what he picked up. Before I could say anything else he spoke before me.

“y/n quit.”

My heart dropped into my stomach. “what?”

“yeah she said she didn’t want to make your career worse. I tried to make her stay, but it didn’t work.”

I shook my head, pitching the bridge of my nose.

I hung up the phone and tried to calling y/n again. When she didn’t pick up I texted her, but still it was no use.

“fuck!”

I threw my phone on the bed beside me.

“What’s wrong Jude?” my mom voice filled my ears. I didn’t look up at her. I just spoke. “y/n quit.”

“oh honey I’m sorry. Was it because of yesterday?”

I nodded. “yeah. Everyone thought we were dating. I thought she’ll be able to fix it, but she couldn’t. Now she won’t pick up my calls.”

“give her some time.” I looked up at my mom. “she might need some time right now. It’s all a lot.”

She was right so that’s what I did.

A few days have passed since I last talk to y/n. I missed her badly I couldn’t lie. I can’t believe someone I hated so badly at first, I was now missing.

-

My friends invited me to the club tonight to clear my mind. I had several drinks with the intention of getting wasted and it worked. An hour later and I was drunk.

Of course the person who clouds my mind happens to be y/n. I missed her, kind of yearned for her. I miss annoying her. I needed to get her back.

I pulled out my phone finding y/n name in my contacts. The phone rung 2 times before y/n picked up.

“y/n?” I slurred out.

Y/n POV

The song of booming music on the other end of the call made me wince. “Jude, why are you calling me? Where are you?”

This was the first time I answered Jude’s call in two weeks and I didn’t expect it to be loud on the other end.

“y/n, I miss you.” I heard Jude say on the other end.

“Jude are you drunk?”

The sound of a woman voice and Jude shouting out no over the music flooded through the phone. A minute passed before it was quiet on the other side. He must be outside now I thought.

“sorry it was loud.”

“Jude where are you?” I grew concerned. He sounded extremely intoxicated and I’m sure he wasn’t aware of shit when he was drunk. “ I’m going to pick you up.”

I grabbed my keys and after Jude told me his location I drove there. 10 minutes later I spotted him outside the club.

A bunch of girls surrounded him making me roll my eyes. I Parked my car and got out.

“jude.” At the sound of my voice Jude turned to me. “sorry ladies. My ride is here.”

Those girls watched as Jude quickly walked away to my car, getting into the passenger seat. I got back into the driver’s seat and drove off before anyone could get a picture.

“Why’d you pick me up?” Jude asked as he laid back against the seat. “I just wanted to make sure you got back safely, that’s all.”

Jude turned his head looking at me. My breath hitched, but I didn’t look over at him.

“I said I missed you.”

I bit the inside of my cheek. “I know I heard you.”

“why did you leave y/n?”

I sighed. “Jude, we’re at your house.” I parked the car expecting him to get out.

“y/n, talk to me baby.” Jude turned my face with his thumb forcing me to look his way. My stomach interrupted in butterflies at his action and words.

“I left because I don’t want to ruin your career and mines. I have to follow everywhere and that means those fan girls would think I’m dating you and I’m going to get harassed every time. I’m not ready for. They already found my Instagram and started dming me telling me I’m ugly.” I ran my hand over my face. “so yeah that’s why I left.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Jude commented.

“Its ok-“

“no it’s not. I should have thought about this before inviting you. I knew my fans were cry but I didn’t expect them to find you so I’m sorry.”

“I know you are Jude and it’s ok. I promise.” I looked at Jude and smiled softly.

“You’re going to come back right?”

I laughed. “is that what you want so badly?”

Jude nodded. “more than anything.”

“Ok fine. I’ll see if I can comeback.”

Jude smiled. “perfect. thank you for the ride by the way. I’m happy to see you again.”

Jude hugged me once he unbuckled his seatbelt. If this was the first few days of meeting Jude I would have pulled away from him, but it wasn’t. I found myself wrapping my arms around him shocking myself.

When Jude pulled away his face was inches away from mine. His eyes fell to my lips. My heart thumped in my chest at the action.

“Can I kiss you?” Jude asked at a whispered. I nodded slightly.

Jude kissed me seconds later and I swear my heart stopped in my chest for a second.

His lips so soft and his tongue even softer when he slipped It into my mouth chasing mine.

He pulled away and kissed my cheek.

“ok I’m going to go now.” Jude pulled away and opened the door as I sat their flustered.

“have a good night love.” Jude Shut the door walking to his house. I exhaled.

“good night Jude.”

--

Tell me what else to write since I don't have ideas for some reason. Jude, Dominik, Trent, Ruben, and kylian

[edenmemes]

resident evil: 4 remake starters

❝ man, that stinks. ❞ ❝ this just keeps getting worse. ❞ ❝ you’re still a kid holding onto fantasies of what’s right and wrong. ❞ ❝ i’m gonna let you in on a little secret. just between us. ❞ ❝ the hell is going on? ❞ ❝ hey, we’re a team, right? ❞ ❝ where’s everyone going? bingo? ❞ ❝ you and me are two sides of the same coin. ❞ ❝ that’s just like you. you always had poor judgement. ❞ ❝ ah, so you aren’t heartless after all. ❞ ❝ like i told you, i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i’m not falling for your mind games. ❞ ❝ you proved you can handle yourself. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed a damn bit. ❞ ❝ you look like you’ve got something to say. ❞ ❝ gotta fix everything myself. ❞ ❝ you can’t run. you got to keep moving forward. ❞ ❝ you’re nothing but an extra in my script. ❞ ❝ i thought you were gonna die. ❞ ❝ i don’t pay you to ask questions. ❞ ❝ there’s no time for resting. ❞ ❝ revenge? you think i’m doing all this...for revenge? ❞ ❝ i need you to trust me, and do exactly as i say. ❞ ❝ you’re too soft to do what’s necessary. ❞ ❝ i know your potential better than anyone. ❞ ❝ you’ve made it all this way, but you haven’t learned a thing. ❞ ❝ maybe you’ll live to meet me again. ❞ ❝ the most important thing in this world is pure, unadulterated power. ❞ ❝ i’ve something to ask you...but i don’t think i’ll get a straight answer. ❞ ❝ you didn’t answer my question. what’re you after? ❞ ❝ you know, you were always an asshole. ❞ ❝ you have a strange sense of humor. ❞ ❝ you are nothing if not unyielding. ❞ ❝ i just wanna feel good about myself. make amends. or something like that. ❞ ❝ just give me a heads-up before you stab me next time, okay? ❞ ❝ it’s okay to be afraid, you know. ❞ ❝ what do you think? people can change, right? ❞ ❝ not looking good, eh, my friend? ❞ ❝ you try to save one person; a hundred others die. ❞ ❝ was that an act of defiance? against me? ❞ ❝ a well-tuned weapon can make up for a lack of skill. ❞ ❝ i’ll let myself out. ❞ ❝ you won’t get away with this. ❞ ❝ be a shame to live the rest of your life wondering ‘what if’ - am i right? ❞ ❝ you have the stench of battle on you. ❞ ❝ so, tell me, why did you come to this horrible place? ❞ ❝ you wanna help? cause i could use it. ❞ ❝ if i could just forget what happened that night, the pain - even for a second... ❞ ❝ i knew i could count on you. ❞ ❝ i think you’d be pretty dashing in it. ❞ ❝ i’m not used to having such good company. ❞ ❝ hey. it’s dangerous outside. ❞ ❝ god damn...i was almost a pancake. ❞ ❝ a lot of people have gone missing around here. and it’s been like that for a while now. ❞ ❝ sorry. i, uh, screwed up. ❞ ❝ i’m so scared. when that happened...i wasn’t myself any more. ❞ ❝ well done. you’ve proven yourself reliable. ❞ ❝ won’t be going anywhere in this thing. ❞ ❝ sorry, didn’t realize that was yours. ❞ ❝ this time, it can be different. it has to. ❞ ❝ everything will work out just fine. ❞ ❝ you missed. that’s not like you. ❞ ❝ come to my rescue, prince charming! ❞ ❝ sometimes it’s more fun not knowing. ❞ ❝ if you do well, i’ll make it worth your while. ❞ ❝ that hurts, you know. ❞ ❝ this is one hell of a gloomy place. ❞ ❝ why help me, though? what’s in it for you? ❞ ❝ oh, well, maybe just untie me then? ❞ ❝ knowledge is power. remember that. ❞ ❝ i can’t tell if that’s meant to be a compliment. ❞ ❝ i’m sure you’ll do your best to help me. ❞ ❝ bill me for the repairs later. ❞ ❝ it seemed like you really wanted to talk. ❞ ❝ you know, those things will kill you. ❞ ❝ you haven’t changed. you just think you have. ❞ ❝ don’t let the smallfry distract you from the big fish. ❞ ❝ quiet type, eh? ❞ ❝ guess you picked the wrong spot to vacation. ❞ ❝ a most warm welcome to my castle. ❞ ❝ bet you’ve been in spots like this before. ❞ ❝ to think you could be this foolish. ❞ ❝ give me a break already. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. i wish i could do more to help. ❞ ❝ i don’t want to recall what happened down there. ❞ ❝ years haven’t been kind to us, i suppose. ❞ ❝ finally, some peace and quiet. ❞ ❝ who are you? and what are you doing here? ❞ ❝ i’m just an average guy who happens to be quite the ladies’ man. ❞ ❝ you should really be telling me what a good job i did. ❞ ❝ is this the first time you coughed up blood like this? ❞ ❝ so much for helping me. ❞ ❝ so, who are you working for this time? ❞ ❝ you think i’m gonna give up that easily? ❞ ❝ hey, are you sure you’re good? ❞ ❝ i’m gonna get you home safe. ❞ ❝ i have a plan. but you’re going to have to trust me. ❞ ❝ gimme some space. ❞ ❝ i don’t get you. why risk your life like this? ❞ ❝ it’s a little over-the-top, don’t you think? ❞ ❝ they’re coming! get behind me. ❞ ❝ does that hurt? are you in pain? distressed? ❞ ❝ you are really starting to become a giant pain in my ass. ❞ ❝ you know i don’t work and tell. ❞ ❝ you’ve done well to make it this far. ❞ ❝ tell someone who gives a shit. ❞ ❝ happy to help. now you owe me. ❞ ❝ are you just trying to use me again? ❞ ❝ what’re you, my mother? ❞ ❝ i’m definitely gonna catch a cold. ❞ ❝ this artwork...doesn’t it look like it’s telling some kind of story? ❞ ❝ what do we do? there’s no way out. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong with wanting the same for myself? ❞ ❝ it’s a little old fashioned for my taste. ❞ ❝ you’re losing your cool. making mistakes. ❞ ❝ don’t scare me like that. ❞ ❝ you’re slow. and so goddamn weak. ❞ ❝ wow, you’ve really gone all out for me! you shouldn’t have. ❞ ❝ i will send you back to the hell you came from. ❞ ❝ heheh, having a rough day? ❞ ❝ the reaper comes for cowards and the careless alike. which are you? ❞ ❝ i’ve got to think. need to get my head straight. ❞ ❝ i shall leave tomorrow. go far away. ❞ ❝ here’s my question...have you changed? ❞ ❝ we will beat this. together. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? show no mercy! ❞ ❝ i admit - you’ve done well to stay alive this long. ❞ ❝ this means death. a slow, miserable death. ❞

[carrrrino]

HELLO I am very excited for this project! I wanted to express a concern though…it’s rather hard to find the any info on the project aside from what’s on the blog (which isn’t…very much information wise) I’m not sure if that’s an intentional decision…

I know when I first found the info I….kind of didn’t believe this?? That sounds odd. I suppose what I mean is, it didn’t seem the most legit. I did digging through the blog, read all the links, searched for a Twitter and YouTube accounts and had a hard time doing that as well…Simply because there is very little information on it. Which there’s nothing wrong with…I was wanting to suggest (as an outsider) that you and your team put more announcements/ marketing into this…?

I REALLY hope to see this project grow, it’s absolutely deserved, and very few people seem to know about it. I’d hate that to be something people miss out on. I don’t really expect an answer on this but I thought I should share the concern as an outside perspective. 💛

I really hope this project is going well for you and that it gets the deserved recognition as it’s coming out!!! So excited!!!

I'm so happy that people share the same excitement and concern for the series. Also, the fact that you guys think it's worthy of success Is truly inspiring! I think it's time I SAY something though about my current situation.

TL;DR - Our team basically went inactive after the summer; everyone returned to their lives and I'm the only one who can keep up with the project unconditionally. I didn't mean to dishearten you guys! It's a pain in the ass to work alone - excluding voice actors and SFX producers. The OUTBREAK blog will change entirely, it will be used for info and marketing. This blog will just be general art created by me (&no-namestuff). I will continue to work on the series independently, but I'll definitely give out more info as requested and make things more legit whenever I can!

Over the summer, a group of us began working on the project together, but as most of my friends returned to school and their regular lives, it became almost impossible to keep going. Currently, only a few are available to help, but they're too busy.

I didn't want to worry anyone by saying that it's basically just me working on the project; it's tough to balance animating, scripting, marketing, planning, publishing, AND funding by myself. Over time it (advertising and insightful communication) just became indifferent to me, I even considered going silent for a while until I had a mother-load of progress, but that's really not fair.

The project was a bit of a mess when we started. We didn't plan on making it a big deal, my animations were half-assed and incomprehensible; I barely knew how to work Adobe and could barely even pay it off, the sound was going to be recorded via iPhone, the script wasn't even halfway done, and voice actors weren't thought of until the Prologue. After more than six months of work, Verse 1-4 (or 6?) was deleted because of issues with the file.. this really drew the line for everyone.

So here I am, despite everything; I revised the script, which is barely halfway done, redesigned the characters, read more into the multiversal conundrums of AUs and UNDERTALE, built a portfolio, studied poses for the action scenes — and there’s still a lot that I have to learn. I'm working on Q&As, asks, and the teaser / test / project animations. I don't want people to be confused or hesitant, so I appreciate you a lot for reminding me of this. As requested, I will provide additional details about the project too :) !

No-Name's theme is in progress (thanks to Synth Mints), I've invested heavily in software for good quality animations, talented voice actors from this fandom (some you might even know) have agreed to voice for me - I'm extremely grateful for their help. Even if it takes years to release an episode or pilot, I'm still excited about the outcome. Who knows, I might even have a genuine team by then! :D

aw geez sorry for the whole bit-life story, I'm just trying to shed some light on the situation for you all. I do care, I want everyone to know that, it's just hard work.

Until the next teaser animation, please have these lil' pieces of teasers / lore as an apology!

SD by @/galacii ERROR by @/loverofpiggies / CrayonQueen

LASTLY today is my birthday yayyy 🥳🎂

[sourw0lfs]

dance with the devil - part seven

This has been done for days but I told myself I'd write ahead a bit before I posted it. Then my brain went on vacation about it, so uh here?

Words: 692 | Rating: E (mostly parts 1 & 2, but also future parts) | CW: no warnings this time! except Eddie's continued bad time

part one || part two || part three || part four || part five || part six || part seven || part eight || part nine || part ten || part eleven || part twelve

Most of the details surrounding his actual death are fuzzy to Eddie, and he supposes that makes sense in the grand scheme of things. Something about blocking out trauma or whatever. He isn’t really sure how any of that actually works. Instead he just focuses on making it all into a cohesive story for the girl that’s still staring at him judgingly. And yeah, he’s earned that look if he’s being honest with himself. He did show up uninvited.

“Well,” he says with a dramatic sweep of his arm. “It all starts in this very city, about twenty-three years ago.”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, I want the long story but not your life story,” the girl interrupts him. “Start with how you ended up in the same room as Steve.”

The interruption should be rude, but Eddie just shrugs. Less work for him and his already fuzzy memories. It’s like as soon as he died, everything got jumbled up and thrown away if he didn’t need it. It’s a pain honestly. “Right, so,” he starts again with a pointed look at the girl. “I don’t know if he mentioned that I’ve been assigned as his guardian angel, but I have been. Because I died recently.”

Something twinges painfully in Eddie’s chest as he says the words, but he presses on anyway. It’s not like he knows why he’s sad about being dead. “I don’t know why I got assigned your friend or who made the decision or whatever,” he continues. “I just know that I’ve got a job to keep him safe, and I have to do it or it’s adios to somewhere much less fun for me.”

Hopefully that’s enough to appease both the girl and Steve, because Eddie doesn’t really have much else on the topic. They’re both looking at him like he’s grown a second head, and that does absolutely nothing for Eddie’s worries.

“So you’re not actually an angel then,” the girl says after studying him for a few minutes. “Because if you were, failing Steve wouldn’t be it for you, would it?”

It’s then that Eddie decides he doesn’t like her. Not because she’s wrong. She isn’t wrong. But because there’s something deeply uncomfortable about a stranger calling him out so quickly and easily.

He sighs heavily, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “No, it wouldn’t be. Or I imagine it wouldn’t be. I don’t actually know. I just know I woke up from dying and a really scary, really tiny lady told me I had to keep ‘Steve Harrington’ out of harms way until I stack up enough good points to get real wings. And that failing would be bad.”

The girl is frowning at him, studying him like a bug under a microscope again, and Eddie squirms. Then her expression softens, and it makes Eddie feel bad for disliking her just a little. “Thank you for protecting him,” she says quietly. “Usually that’s my job, but I don’t have angel magic or whatever.”

Eddie isn’t sure why she just believes his words for what they are, but he’s not going to question it. Not if it makes his life (non-life?) easier. "I mean, I barely do, but you're welcome all the same. I'm Eddie." He thrusts a hand in the girl's direction.

"Robin," she returns with a smile as she takes his hand and gives it a firm shake.

It's a lot better, a lot calmer, than his introduction with Steve. Considering Eddie still wouldn't even know his name if he hadn't been sent in with it. Despite the original hesitation, Eddie thinks he might like this Robin girl a lot more. Maybe that'll make this whole thing just a little bit easier to swallow. Because Steve certainly isn't doing Eddie any favors, even after Eddie got him out of what would have been a full-on murder charge. Ungrateful, but Eddie has a job to do, thankless or not.

"Glad you two are getting on, really," Steve says as he looks between the two of them with a grumpy frown. "But what exactly does this all mean for me? It's my life being invaded."

Tags below the cut! Let me know if you want added <3

@chaosgremlinmunson @soaringornithopter @hbyrde36 @shares-a-vest @dreamwatch @quevadilla @tboyeddie @penny00dreadful @momotonescreaming @stevesbipanic @dawners @steddiejudas @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @estrellami-1 @vthx @lolawonsstuff @gleek4twd @littlebluejane @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lawrencebshaggoth @sadisticaltarts @queenie-ofthe-void @r0binscript @anaibis @hairdressersdoitwithstyle @goodolefashionedloverboi @spookednsaucy @anne-bennett-cosplayer @flustratedcas

[citylawns]

Any life advice for teen girls? I’m fifteen living at boarding school with no friends, and I’m not interested in the boys here (never even kissed a guy). I’d like to know if you have any tips, or things you wish you did or could change at my age. I’m just very lost and need some guidance, I don’t really talk to my mom so I can’t ask her. She never really taught me girl stuff and I’ve never had a best friend. I look up to you some, I would really love and appreciate some insight.

Hello lovely! It's taken me a while to think about how to reply to this, sorry to have kept you waiting. I was also very lost and lonely when I was fifteen, and I also didn't really talk to my mum, or if I did it was about comforting her or her shouting at me. She also never taught me girl stuff and I've had to learn how to cook, how to clean, how to wash and shave and perform proper maintenance myself so you can always ask me anything in that regard.

I have a few things here that I think might be helpful and things I did for comfort.

Find comfort in art, music, books, films, but in the end don't isolate yourself too much. This is something I have just spoken about unlearning today with my friends. A lot of us tend to retreat into an internal world to survive and it can be necessary and life saving but you also need to force yourself to open up too. It's important to keep taking the risk to open up to people and find friends, even when it goes wrong over and over. It's taken me until 26 to find some real friends. I hope it comes sooner to you.

You can find mother figures everywhere. In older women you meet in your life, in aunties, your friends and partners parents, older girls, in your friends, in work colleagues. You can ask them the things you could never ask your mum.

Devote your time to learning a skill or hobby related to your interests. I wish I had been more dedicated to learning guitar and music theory, you can learn these things at any age (its never too late) but I wish I had the years put in early. It's also a way to find community and friends - music has been fundamental for that aspect of my life.

Please, please don't worry too much about how you look. I don't know if that's something you worry about, but it was something I worried about a lot. I wished my face was different for so many years but you really do grow into your face and your body. As you age you see parts of yourself in other people (your friends, relatives, anyone) and you realise you can appreciate them in yourself too. Insecurity and comparison still happen, but you realise that owning everything about you is the most enigmatic and attractive quality about a person.

Keep a journal. Write about everything you feel and everything you think and all that's happening in your life. Even if it seems boring and mundane. Most importantly - write about what your hopes and dreams and aspirations are. Your older self will need them to look back on to remind her to keep going. And to remind her of how far she has come.

Be your own best friend. Your relationship to yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have in your life. Be kind to yourself, don't say mean things about yourself, notice when you have done something well. If there's no one else to stick up for you and no one to recognise your achievements you need to be that person for yourself. This will get you through everything.

Sending you a really warm hug, stay strong, I hope boarding school gets better.

[mars-and-the-theoi]

Low energy Devotional Acts for when you don’t have a lot of energy (or time, or money, etc.) pt. 9

🔥Hestia🔥

- put on one of those fireplace videos, or light a candle, or if able light your own fire in the fireplace (or have a bonfire)

- listen to a devotional playlist for Her

- if able do some cooking/baking

- if unable to do that gather some recipes either online or in any cookbooks you may have!

- watch a cooking/baking show

- try your hand at making bread

- watch home renovating, decorating, etc. shows/videos

- if able do some cleaning- doesn’t have to be anything huge just something small like maybe just picking some socks up off the floor or something

- enjoy a hot drink (tea, coffee, hot cocoa)

- watch your comfort movie/show

- if able learn how to knit, crochet, etc. or do some if you know how and are able

- if unable watch knitting or crocheting videos/tutorials

- if able (in every sense of the word here) spend some time with your family or text/call them can be your blood family or chosen family or even your good friends! (Family can be anything you want it to be imo)

- look up important home keeping skills! And watch videos or tutorials on them if you don’t know them (like mending clothes, ironing, etc.) which are all good skills to have ((I add this one because I know at least in America home ec classes have been cut and are pretty much nonexistent like I went through it in middle school but then they got rid of it once I went to high school and in hs it wasn’t mandatory like it was in middle school))

- read up on how to be a good host or guest

- if you like hosting events plan your next gathering

- go through photo albums or pictures and reminisce on the happy, funny, and joyful moments

- if able donate to a food bank (I personally go through my kitchen about 6 times a year-I do a lot of the kitchen work/organizing in my family as I do the cooking so y’know I’m already there so I may as well-and whatever I haven’t used or no longer have plans for I donate! Ofc make sure it’s not expired first and also if able include things like a manual can opener and such! So even though I don’t have too much money myself this system enables me to still be able to help which personally makes me feel good as I grew up utilizing those things so it’s nice to help!)

- if you have pets spend some time with them! They’re important family members as well! Maybe spoil them with their favorite treat and/or activity! Cuddle with them! Just let them know they’re valued and loved family members as well

- be kind to the homeless (yes, even the “bad” ones they’re ppl too and unnecessarily cruelty isn’t helping anything)

- look up ways to help the homeless and if you’re able help out or volunteer or donate (I might make a separate post on stuff to donate as there’s a lot of stuff some folks don’t think about when it comes to giving donates and such)

- hell you could even volunteer or donate to an animal shelter! If that’s more for you and something you’re more comfortable with! They’re homeless too are they not? (I do some volunteer work at the animal shelter myself so I’m very passionate about this)

(and if you have to utilize anything like food banks or government assistance in any capacity work on not feeling bad for needing those things. I know, easier said than done trust me I know again I grew up using those things. But you’re simply getting what you need to survive. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re not bad, you haven’t failed, you’re not a leech, etc. you’re just someone trying to survive and there’s no shame in that. There’s no shame in needing help. And not only is that a great devotional act in itself, it’s also just great in general. I do a lot of activist work and such and trust that there’s people who care and people who-again, like me-get it. You’re okay. You’re still a good person. And still deserving of good things.)