#but added pondering

[fandom-trash-goblin]

i beg you to love me, say that i'm enough, but you tell me— why are you like this? i think there's something wrong with you.

for @shestrying

thanks to @acelania for finding the unknowns!

in image / desperation sits heavy on my tongue, tumblr user tullipsink / mary oliver, ‘north country’ / virginia woolf, letter to violet dickinson / in image / blythe baird, from if my body could speak / Alice in Bed: A Play' by Susan Sontag (link in comment) / lynee rae perkins, criss cross / elena ferrante, Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay' (trans. Ann Goldstein) / rainer maria rilke, from rilke’s book of hours / in image/ in image

[vagueconfusion]

Feeling real ridiculous for not having realized that Baron's "stark father" was the Nightmare King until now

[artcallednaturalviews]

Showed and right away, cringe face! Why, just a flower But slots a lots of folks do go to stomping Stop crushing go back to gambling To small to keep a conversation, oops Stop thinking while I’m talking Or ask me to slow down A confusion Always feels hopeless Talking about a flowered fungi Animals don’t eat Why a concern to humans Still eating from ground are we Just a flower Why crush

[sugarsnappeases]

just had this thought of lily as a lit student volunteering at her local library and barty as this delinquent being assigned to do community service there. like she starts off with a bit of a ‘oh this poor criminal, i must save him’ mindset and then is constantly frustrated by barty as it’s clear that he just. doesn’t want to be saved. and he’ll deliberately mess up the book organisation systems and try to scam people by fining them when their books are nowhere near overdue so he can keep the money for himself. and lily is running around after him, huffing as she loudly puts the books back in their proper places, whacking him round the back of the head when she catches him trying to scam some old man. she’s screaming at him in the back room, leaning over him as he sits back unbothered on one of the chairs, shoving her finger in his face but he just grins and tries to bite it so she’s whacking him again and storming out bc he’s just SO infuriating. but then somehow he’s also going in depth with her about the motivations of iago in othello and whether the tragedy can be blamed entirely on him or if society itself plays a part in the plot’s development or animatedly discussing keats’ ode to a nightingale and the concept of negative capability and how it relates to the body. and she’s just completely fascinated by him, she wants to analyse him like one of the texts from her classes, she thinks she could write essay upon essay about his view of the world and the way his brain works and the tattoo she can always see just poking out of the top of his collar. and now she’s missing deadlines bc she wants to spend time w him, and laughing as he knocks over an entire bookshelf while trying to tell her about the book he’s just read, and really he doesn’t want to be saved but maybe he’s saving her instead…

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

pondering my lorb

We Are All Pondering His Orbs

[eyesystem]

A Dee Doodle. A Deedle, if you will

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

Growing up in an extremely ultra religious, cult-like family was a mindfuck for multiple reasons but that doesn't stop unfortunately, even when you escape. For example, see: The overwhelming feeling of boiling hatred and shame for who you used to be.

The angry hatred for the past person I used to be, the version of myself that mindlessly parroted my family's beliefs and listened to their every command, constantly simmered under my skin and invaded my every thought. I was embarrassed of what I used to be- even as I made friends of different ethnicities and faiths, as I listened and explored new ideas and worlds that I never knew existed, as I started the first LGBTQ+ club at my school and volunteered with kids who deserved so much more- there was always a little voice in the back of my head.

"They would hate you if they knew what you were. They would hate the horrendous teachings that were seared into your mind, the things that you used to say and believe. You are nothing but a pretender."

And it is true that my beliefs were bigoted in all the worst ways. It is true that I believed truly heart-wrenching things without a second thought and judged others in such harsh and unfair ways. I told myself that there was no coming back from that, not really. There was nothing I could do to ever make up for it.

Then I remembered that the person who said those things wore velcro light up sneakers and collected finger puppets that the librarians handed out as awards for reading picture books. The person that held signs at pro-life rallies and anti-LGBTQ+ protests had a cherished sticker book and hunted minnows in the creek after school and adored their puffle on club penguin and was really into greek mythology and had skinned knees from climbing trees at recess and knew every Disney song by heart and was absolutely terrified of the dark.

That person was a child.

I was a child.

It took a really long time. Years and years of reflection and distance, but I've decided that I can't hate the past version of myself anymore. I feel pity and remorse, I feel anger- I feel so much fury and violent rage- at what my childhood was and I grieve what could- no, should- have been, but I no longer resent who I was.

I'm not ashamed.

I am so, so, so unbelievably proud of that little kid. For being brave enough to leave the comfort and safety of what I was told was right. For not being afraid to be wrong. For seeking out information and knowledge in a culture that praised ignorance. For questioning everything, relentlessly.

I am by no means a perfect person, I never have been and I never will, but I am proud of myself in every iteration that has ever existed because I know that I have never stopped trying to understand and learn and grow, and I never will.

If you have ever been in a similar situation and feel similar things, first of all: My condolences on your lost childhood. Second of all: Please be nice to that past version of yourself and recognize all the hard work they did to make you who you are today. That person was a survivor and an inspiration. They deserve nothing but love.

[windsweptinred]

Because Hypnos took one look at the soggy Endless Calliope brought home and decided right then and there he was 'adopting' him... And no one can convince me otherwise. 😅

[just-a-lonelypenguin]

a tiny little zine inspired by @koddlet’s how-to! (i love your zines, they’re so fun and inspiring!) i first just folded it out of a sticky note for fun and put it in my pocket thinking “i’ll fill this in later when i have an idea” and then i looked outside and it was so. fucken dark. and here we are :) i really loved treating it as an exercise in “draw whatever comes to mind, let it be as shitty as possible, just try something” — drawing isn’t something i think of as my strong suit but little doodles sure are fun!

[geekysteven]

Time to ponder orb is over, now orb ponders you

[ID: Illustration of a floating blue orb holding an older man in mid-air with tendrils. Man seems upset about it.]

[anderscim]

✦ language, sentence structure and footnote #5 in the new DRDT MV

//spoilers for the new “Literature Girl Insane” music video posted by DRDT

//also spoilers for DRDT up to chapter 2 part 1

i think i’m pretty clever for using this frame, am i right? (-∀-)

alright, here is my 2k+ word rant regarding some things i noticed with the word order and translations in the new video—as well as its connections with some of the footnotes.

(take all of this with a grain of salt)

i noticed recently that the DRDT dev pays very, very close attention to lyrics and lyrical structure in japanese—and that is seen in the way they order certain words.

let’s take this screen, for example:

i’m not sure if you all noticed, but in this part, the lyrics show up in a very specific order.

instead of each word appearing in an order similar to how you would read it in english (“look, aside from that, give me the usual medicine”), they do this:

look -> aside -> from that ->the -> usual -> medicine -> give me

and surprisingly, this isn’t random. the words appear in an order that aligns with the sentence structure for the japanese lyrics.

in japanese, the lyrics are as follows:

「ほら、/ それより / いつもの / 薬 / を出して」

if you translate these separately, “medicine” (薬) comes before “give me” (出して, in this context), “the usual” (いつもの) comes before that—and so on and so forth. interestingly enough, the dev subtly threw that detail in the video, instead of just going by the alignment of the english translation.

and, if you didn’t know, in many cases (more often than not), japanese sentence structure wildly differs from english sentence structure—which is exactly what makes it so hard to translate. (;- -)

this also happens in other spots, by the way! here’s another example:

“even if you have a heart full of ambition” appears in reverse order here—but that’s also because of japanese sentence structure.

“向上/の/心/だって/持ったって” -> “ambition/of/heart/even/if you have” this is a rough translation by the way sorry (_ _;)

i can come up with more examples if needed, so let me know (*´ω`*)

however, this isn’t the only way that the dev is being attentive to specific details in japanese. they also seemed to be aware of some literary references that were legitimately within the lyrics, and put their own spin onto it.

for example, this:

at first, the (turbatus) may seem out of place, but trust me, it isn’t. the original japanese lyrics also reference “ego cognito ergo sum” (i think, therefore i am), but put their own spin onto it—the dev somehow managed to translate the lyrics in a way that kept the same modification.

the japanese equivalent to “ego cognito ergo sum” is as follows:

“我思う故に我あり”

however, the japanese lyrics for bungaku shoujo insane put a small modification to the very end:

“我思う故に悩み”

悩み (nayami) is to be worried/troubled/etc.²¹

but basically, the dev also managed to keep that same modification by adding “turbatus” (which translates to “disturbed, disoriented, upset”) to their rendition of the lyrics. though this is me speaking from personal experience, 悩み usually has a different (more lighthearted and flexible) connotation compared to something as heavy as turbatus—so i wonder if this specific word choice might be telling us a lot more.

…okay that was a huge tangent. moving on. what i basically wanted to say is, well… the DRDT team is very attentive and pays very close attention to minor details in japanese, and a lot of it is actually successfully conveyed in their video. however, this pretty much indicates that anything they “botch” in the translation is intentional.⁵ (i’ll get to that later.)

buuuut before we get to that, how ‘bout i switch topics to something else: there is one specific part that they weren’t able to manipulate the translation, even if they wanted to.

i think you know which few frames i’m referring to.

(the other two have the same issue as well, but these first two are easier to explain.)

the thing is, the reason why there’s no translation here is that there’s no way to translate these lyrics without messing up the original japanese sentence structure.

let me break it down. “革命家” (kakumeika) is the japanese translation for a revolutionary. Xander, as the ultimate rebel, is the perfect image for this. “気取り” (kidori) is used in this context to mean that they’re “pretending to be / having the air of” a revolutionary, rather than actually being one.

“馬鹿” (baka) is “idiot,” “鉛” (namari) is lead (as in the metal), “切符” (kippu) is “ticket,” and “与える” (ataeru) in this context is “to give” (but more in a “feeding something to a pet” context than an actual “gifting something to a person” context). “与えよう” (ataeyou) is just a different tense, as in “let’s give,” and so on and so forth.

however, if you were to translate these two lines into english, this is what you would get (rough translation):

“let’s give the idiots pretending to be revolutionaries tickets of lead.”

my brain is fried so i can’t go too far into details right now, but essentially, the translation completely switches around the sentence structure and jumbles the order of the words. if the dev wanted to specifically distribute the lyrics to those two frames in a way that fit those specific images, they would have to warp existing grammar rules and write something that’s… well, obscure. my horrible attempt at a literal translation with the same structure: “assuming the air of revolutionaries / these idiots, tickets of lead should be given to them.” however, this would be too obscure and it gives this lyric a largely different tone (_ _;) especially since david probably doesn’t want to call xander an idiot (/hj) the lyrics would have been extremely difficult to rewrite while getting a similar message across, it was actually more fitting to instead keep the original japanese lyrics and fit them to the two frames in a way that best mirrors each character. …by the way, this is part of the reason why i was (jokingly) suspecting whether or not the dev was actually japanese. some of their attention to wording, sentence structure… even if they’re not japanese, they’re insanely dedicated. massive kudos to them. o(≧▽≦)o okay this has been plaguing my mind for a little bit, side note and small tangent: Xander (at least, i think it’s him. based on the glove) is holding his assigned weapon, a gun, in the first frame here. however, as we know—Xander’s gun is actually nonfunctional, and does not work. the fact that he’s holding it and having his finger on the trigger, despite it being unable to fire, could actually reference the “air of a revolutionary” in the original lyrics, as he may pretend to be someone that can use action to make change in the world but actually can’t. however, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. this video is from david’s perspective, so this may actually be more of a reflection of david’s philosophy regarding how the world can’t change, rather than xander himself. this would match the “unreliable narrator” angle i’m seeing in this video—which i’ll get to later. i also unfortunately do not have a clear answer regarding who the person with the envelope is, but my bets are on it being a teacher of some sorts, or one of the adults that formally invited the students (including xander, david, and the rest of the students) to hope’s peak in the united states. after all, they’re handing out a “ticket of lead,” as seen in the lyrics. lead can cause poisoning to the body, and is known to accumulate over time. by even joining this school in the first place, the drdt cast is unknowingly signing themselves up for something that will traumatize them / corrupt their minds for the coming years. and i don’t know if this is just me, but some aspects of the embossing stamp of the envelope (including the justice scales, the shield(?)-esque pattern, the wings), seem very suspiciously similar to a logo for a school like that. i’m done with the tangent for now ( ´ ▽ ` )

what’s incredibly interesting (and ironic) about this frame, however, is the footnote. out of all places to put it, the dev placed footnote #5 in the one place where there isn’t a translation.

for those of you that aren’t aware, by the way, this is footnote #5:

As the translation has been intentionally botched in many parts, it should not be considered accurate.

and, actually—this is true. not necessarily botched, though, just maybe slightly manipulated.

here’s a couple of examples:

switching out pronouns in some of the lyrics (changing “i” to “you,” for example). most clearly seen here:

original lyrics: “今僕は何故泣くの？ / 今僕は何故暴れ出すの？” most of the lyrics are the same, except for one thing: “僕” (boku) is used when one wants to refer to themselves. (in other terms, it should be: “right now, why do i cry? / right now, why do i go insane?”). however, the lyrics use “you” instead. side note: this “botch,” and the roman numerals combined—david spinning the narrative so he’s directing those questions towards others, and not towards himself as a form of deflection? the unreliable narrator theory becomes stronger and stronger （＾ν＾） /j

another example is here:

original: “満足したなら / 消えて行け！” -> “if you are [now] satisfied / go and disappear!”

again, another pronoun switch, but this time it’s flipped—while the original lyrics are directing this at someone else, david (or whoever “???” is) is talking about himself. it almost seems like a response to the original lyrics. either way, this is one thing to think about. there are other examples, and i might bring them up later—but for now, these are the main ones i can think of.

2. verb tenses! specifically, these two frames:

the original lyrics: “大事なものなら / 壊れて消えたよ” this is also pretty similar, except using the ending “た” (ta) at the end of a verb, instead of “る” (lu/ru), puts the verb into past tense. (this is from personal experience, however. take it with a grain of salt)

so in reality, the lyrics are: ”if something was important, / it already broke and disappeared”

which is… interesting. because it actually does imply some things regarding david’s philosophies. given that this was likely intentional, this may be an indication of david manipulating his own thought process—from regretting what he lost in the past, to spinning that into “it was going to be lost anyways, regardless of what happened” (after all, for him, “if something is important, it will break away and disappear”). basically, it loops him into an almost pessimistic way of coping. from his perspective, if something is important to him, it will be lost, no matter what—which is hopeless, yes, but it prevents him from forming any other relationships that are “important” and/or getting emotionally attached to them in the expectation that they’ll get burned away eventually.

3. i don’t even know what to call this… like, re-contextualization? specifically, here:

the original lyrics:

“そうして忘れてゆくのでしょう / はい”

however, despite keeping the same literal meanings, this translation completely reconstructs the context of the lyrics. “はい” in this situation is actually used as an interjection, as in “yeah, / okay,” rather than a direct “yes” or an answer to a question.

additionally, “そうして忘れてゆくのでしょう” isn’t exactly a question—more so, it’s more of a “but then you’ll forget anyways” sort of… i guess “throwaway phrase.” my brain is dead, so sorry if this is a bit unclear. the true translation would be closer to “but then, i bet, you’ll forget about it.”

either way, just one thing is clear: the original lyrics were made with no intention at all to be read as a conversation, yet the translation was intentionally spun in a way to fit that. this “botch” also seems to be very important, especially with the fact that it’s labeled with the 19th footnote—as for why, however, i’m not too sure. it could be an indication that david has the idea that people will forget what has happened (and never try to change it the next time around) so ingrained into his head that it affects the way he hears conversations, events, and certain interactions—or it could be that he’s just an unreliable narrator and this is his way of proving his philosophy even in the most minor of word choices, or both, or neither. to be honest, i don’t know what the exact purpose is. (￣ー￣ )

there’s probably other “botched translations,” but those are all i have for now. but yeah, the fact that outside of these “slips” the dev was very attentive about the translation and sentence structure is what gives clear confirmation that these mistakes are absolutely intentional. they’re likely there to provide some insight into not just david’s character and philosophies, but also about his coping mechanisms and how he spins his own narrative to prove his worldview right.

as for why the corresponding footnote is placed at the one place there isn’t a proper translation in the mv… well…

(/hj) i’ll figure it out soon. (( _ _ ))

either way, feel free to reblog or send in an ask if there’s anything you want to say regarding my noticings (whether that’s refuting them or adding evidence)!

and as always, take this with a grain of salt

[itwoodbeprefect]

it's a delightfully humbling experience to run across a video with hardcoded subtitle translations in two different languages and absolutely none of those (the spoken language or the subtitled ones) are even slightly related to the four languages i could somewhat claim to speak or the nice handful of others i can at least try to take educated guesses at. there is a wide open world out there full of words i don't know and likely never will, and not for lack of trying, but because we (humans) have SO many different languages the human lifespan just isn't long enough to learn them all. and i think that's incredibly cool, actually

[jellyfishvibes]

In todays episode of desperately trying not to do more hair, i have made many orbs

Yes i did put them in rainbow order for my own amusement

[basingstokemercury]

Love that when Joe is attacked in The Magnificent Adah he's written and acted as a scared, hurt, very young man (which I ran with when he's shot in Frontier Medicine, to fit in Comforting Adam and help push Julian into intervening)

The choice was probably made to emphasise that the antagonist is a monster/the others have to take action, but the same level of injury could have been used to get that across without the emotional portrayal and in the 60s that would have been what I expected

This is a really interesting episode. Maybe I can do a deep dive sometime?

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

i don’t know exactly how to say this in a way that comes across clearly, but i am obsessed with the idea of depicting m/f relationships in a way where the hype isn’t all on the man’s love of the woman, and how swoonworthy it is and how powerful. (this has been on my mind an awful lot lately because lost loves to lean on this, especially in season six. it’s also something that often grates on me about the office’s depiction of jim and pam even though i’m very fond of jim and pam.) i really want to see women being active in the relationship too, rather than just being the object to be pursued or worshiped or cherished or whatever the heck! not in a way that depicts women going out of their way for men who don’t reciprocate, which i think is always the go-to assumption when you talk about this kind of portrayal of a relationship. but i love the idea of women being able to make romantic gestures and acts of great love toward their male love interests in a way that is, like, considered cool and iconic in the way that so many male characters’ romantic actions toward their ladies are cool and iconic. idk how to say it. like, something that goes beyond ‘is this woman being honored nobly enough by her man, which is the sum total of all romance?’ i want the women participating tooooooooo! WHY NOT!

[meownotgood]

top one moment that changed my life