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tsunami-of-tears · 5 months

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But Daddy I Love Her

Mor x Vanserra!Reader (sapphic)

A/N: IMO this is some of my best writing yet. Thank you to the anon who requested some angst with Mor. I’ve been wanting to write some more sapphic stuff, so this was fun 💕 Also thank you to @daycourtofficial for being my sounding board ✨ As you can tell I didn’t go with either title option we discussed 😘

Wordcount: 4.4K

Warnings: Female Reader; Angst; Beron being Beron; Controlling father dynamic; visit to the Court of Nightmares; coming out; canon homophobia + patriarchal bullsh!t.

Reader

Your father was a complex character, to say the least.

He was every bit the callous ruler that he portrayed to the world, but inside his blackened, hateful heart there was a soft spot. You. His only daughter.

While your brothers were pitted against each other and forced to fight for his approval, you couldn’t do much wrong.

He was protective of you to a fault. So much so, that you were never allowed to court anyone. No one was good enough for his precious pup. Not that you were very interested in males anyway, having grown up with a litter of brothers. You found males irritating at the best of times, and utterly repulsive at the worst.

You were closest to Beron’s eldest and youngest sons – Eris and Lucien. They were very protective of you too, but in more of an annoying way. They always had your best interests at heart.

You were never allowed out of the Forest House unsupervised. Adventuring with your brothers was the only time you got let off your leash. You could run with the hounds, fish in the stream with Lucien or just simply be – relaxing under a tree, reading aloud to Eris.

You often dreamed of a world where you were free. Free from your father’s strict rule. Free to do as you please. Free to be whoever you wanted to be.

But alas, this was not a world for the dreamers.

————

The conflict with Hybern was drawing nearer and your father was summoned to attend a meeting with the six other High Lords of Prythian.

Your entire family was to attend, to showcase the strength of Beron’s brood.

You enter the meeting room together, sticking close to Eris and trying to seem confident, bored even. You keep your head held high, ignoring your brothers’ sneers beside you.

“Enough” Eris murmurs, calling all three brothers in line.

You take in the grand room around you, and the wealth of power convened within.

You recognise most faces from Under the Mountain but some were new to you, their allegiance given away by the shades of midnight blue and black that they wore - the Night Court. The Court that your father despises the most. The Court you were raised to hate.

The High Lord, Rhysand, sat with a casual grace, his great taloned wings stretched out behind him. Beside him was his High Lady, Feyre - the saviour of Prythian - in a glittering dress that looked like it was made of pure starlight.

They were a beautiful couple, and you wonder how evil the male could truly be if he proclaimed his wife as his equal, something that had never been done in all of Prythian’s history.

The rulers of the Night Court meet your curious gaze; for a second there is understanding on their faces and you have to remind yourself not to smile.

You break their stare and your eyes flit over two more winged males and a female who shared the same golden hair and blue-grey eyes as Feyre before they settled on a blonde female.

To describe her as breathtaking would be an understatement.

She needed no introduction. Not with the rage upon her face as she watched your family, the pure venom in her eyes.

The Morrigan.

You’d never met the female your eldest brother was formerly betrothed to, and he never spoke about her.

Morrigan’s fury wanes as she looks at you. For a moment you can see behind the mask she was wearing. You can feel the pain underneath, you can see the love for her family and her Court. Only for a moment before she built that wall back up again, sealing herself within.

You knew her anger towards your family was justified and you couldn’t help but empathise with that. Like so many women, your mother included, she’d been dealt a losing hand.

You successfully kept your eyes off Morrigan for the remainder of the meeting, remembering the role you had to play – the shy, pretty pawn of the Autumn Court.

If you failed at this game, the results would be devastating.

————

After the meeting ended so terribly, you were hiding out in Eris’s quarters, avoiding the path of Beron’s temper. The pair of you were curled up in front of the crackling fire with Clove, your favourite hound, asleep in your lap.

Eris has been quiet since returning from the Dawn Court. His mind was surely racing after the encounter with her.

You turn towards your brother slowly, breaking the silence, “You never mentioned how beautiful she is. You never speak about her at all.”

Eris knew exactly who you meant. “What’s there to say?” He shrugs, “She’s free from the burden of being with me in this festering court.”

“You think so low of yourself, Eris. Someone will be very fortunate to have you doting on them one day.”

Eris wraps his arm around you and kisses the top of your head affectionately. “Until then it’s just you and me, bright spark.”

You smile at his nickname for you, one he gave you when you were just a faeling. “Don’t forget Clove!” You exclaim, ruffling the hound’s coat.

————

In the months following the final battle against Hybern, Eris spent a lot of time in the Night Court, working to secure a strong alliance for Autumn.

Eris was about to head off again, to a ball at the infamous Court of Nightmares.

You hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Morrigan.

You needed to see her again, but she’d never step foot in Autumn.

You’d have to go to her.

By the grace of the Cauldron, Beron said yes to you attending the ball with Eris. You were both so stunned by his answer, that you were lost for words. Before dismissing you both, your father had one order for Eris: Do not let her out of your sight.

And so you found yourself in the Night Court, deep inside the Court of Nightmares.

You did your best to bite down on your anxiety as you walked up the dimly lit hallway leading to the ballroom. The intricate carvings of beasts on the walls only add to your feeling of unease.

You breeze through the large doors, arm-in-arm with your brother. The two of you are the epitome of Autumn.

Eris wears a suit in a deep burgundy colour, much like the spiced wine you drink to warm your belly on a crisp evening. Your gown of burnt orange swishes around you as you walk, the sequins catching in the faelights, twinkling like the embers of a dwindling fire.

All eyes turn to you as you walk down the aisle, but you don’t notice them.

All you see is her, and that golden thread connecting your souls, sealing your fate.

Oh no.

Oh no no no.

Panic floods your veins as you realise who you’re walking towards.

Your mate.

Your brother’s ex-fiancé. Your father’s enemy.

Not her, it can’t be her.

Not here, with so many people watching.

Your feet slow to a stop halfway to the dais and you turn to Eris. Concern flickers on his face - he can sense something is wrong, he has no idea just how bad it is.

You drop his arm, mouthing ‘I’m sorry’, before disappearing into the air.

You don’t know where you’re headed or what you will do next. All you know is you need to leave. Now. And get someone safe.

The thought, somewhere safe, echoes through your mind as you appear in a clearing atop a mountain.

The sun had just dipped below the horizon, making the sky glow a brilliant shade of orange. The air is cold against your skin, and you rub your hands on your biceps in an attempt to regain some warmth. In moments like these, you are thankful for the fire within your veins.

You look around, attempting to glean your location. You spot a cabin on the other side of the clearing. As you turn towards it, the front door swings open. An invitation.

You approach the open door and wonder if there’s a spell on the cabin, tricking you into a false sense of safety to lure you inside to your death.

You glance around, the only movement you spy is the rustling of leaves in the wind.

You peek inside and see the small dwelling is well-maintained, but there doesn’t appear to be anyone home. It looks comfortable and homey, with whimsical paintings of vines and flowers framing the door.

Whatever is inside that cabin can’t be worse than the wrath you surely face back in Autumn, so you step over the threshold.

————

Rhysand

Rhys watches intently as his guests from Autumn walk towards the dais.

Eris is his usual cocky self, strutting beside his sister. Every bit the High Lord’s heir. Y/N looks like a living fire, glowing as she walks beside her brother. Despite being siblings, there were clear differences between the two fae. Unlike Eris, who Rhys found to be insufferable at times, Y/N had a kind warmth to her. A sweetness that somehow hadn’t been soured by her father over the years.

She was like the flames that dance in a hearth. The kind of fire used to warm a home or cook a comforting meal that chases away the cold and loneliness.

Of course, those flames could still burn you if you got too close.

Y/N stops in the middle of the room. Her eyes not moving from Rhys’s cousin, stood beside his throne.

‘Something is wrong,’ Feyre says into his mind.

Rhys quickly throws a glamour over his guests, shielding them and his Inner Circle from the rest of his court.

Rhys glances at Mor, whose eyes are glued to the flame incarnate before her.

The expression on Y/N’s face is pure terror as she disappears into a cloud of smoke.

Eris grabs at the wisps of darkness but it’s too late. Y/N is gone. His eyes are filled with panic as he turns back to Rhys.

“You Vanserras love to put on a show.” Rhys drawls. “How did she get out past the wards?”

Eris rakes his fingers through his hair, tousling the slicked strands. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know she could winnow.”

Rhys clicks his tongue, “It seems the little fox was hiding some tricks.”

Eris looks Rhys in the eye. “We need to find her,” He says.

Rhys raises a brow at the Autumn heir. “We?”

“Beron will kill us all if she’s gone missing. His only order was not to let her out of my sight.” Eris shakes his head in shock.

‘Azriel, go. See if your shadows can find her.’ Rhys orders his spymaster mind-to-mind before the male vanishes into the shadows.

“If she’s still in this court, we’ll find her,” Rhys says calmly, expertly masking his concern that the Jewel of Autumn vanished while in his court. “Let’s go, we can continue this little chat somewhere without an audience.” He rises to his feet, dropping the shield and addressing his court. “I’m afraid I have to leave you to play amongst yourselves. Keir, don’t make too much trouble while I’m gone.”

Rhys strides out of the ballroom with Feyre by his side. Eris follows behind closely with Cassian and Mor on his tail.

————

Once out of view, Rhys takes Eris’s hand and winnows him to the Moonstone Palace on top of the mountain. Rhys heads straight to one of the living rooms, opting for somewhere more comfortable to continue the conversation. He silently requests Nuala bring up a tea service as he sits comfortably in one of the plush armchairs.

Eris slumps down in the chair opposite Rhys, rubbing his temples. His complexion has paled to a colour much like the white stone walls of the palace. Eris’s usual swagger and charm disappeared with his sister.

“I shouldn’t have agreed to bring her,” Eris sighs, hands ruffling his red hair.

“I’m surprised Beron let her out of the palace,” Rhys admits. As much as he detests the male, he can’t help but feel sorry for him.

“No one is more surprised than me,” Eris says. “She was the one who asked to come. When Y/N really wants something, not even my father can say no.” Eris smiles softly, as if picturing his sister’s compelling arguments.

Rhys nods in thanks to Nuala as she sets down a tea service. He starts pouring a cup for Eris as he turns towards him. “What happened then?” Rhys asks. “Y/N looked as if she’d seen a ghost.”

“The bond snapped,” a female voice says from the doorway.

Both Rhys and Eris’s eyes snap to Mor as she strides across the room and sits across from them on the sofa.

“What bond? And who with?” Cassian asks from behind her.

“With me,” Mor says quietly.

Rhys can’t keep the shock from his face. “But you’re…” He trails off, gesturing at Mor’s figure.

Mor just sighs, “Cousin, I’ve always known that I preferred the company of females. That’s why he, you know.” She risks a glance at Eris who is meticulously masking his real feelings as he sips on his tea.

“Cauldron, I didn’t think I was that bad,” Cassian jokes.

Mor rolls her eyes and nods her head towards Eris. “He knew. That’s why he didn’t touch me. That day on the autumn border, Eris gave me my freedom. I let you believe him to be horrible because I wasn’t ready to embrace that part of myself, truthfully I’m still not.” Feyre places her hand on Mor’s arm as she makes her admission.

“We’d never judge you for that, Mor,” Rhys says sincerely.

“It’s been instilled in me since I was a faeling, the fear is not something one forgets easily,” Mor shrugs.

“When did it snap for you?” Eris asks, his face still void of emotion.

“At the High Lord’s meeting,” Mor responds. “That’s the only reason I came today, hoping to see her again. I know Beron would never let her be with me, but I still had some shred of hope. Clearly, he’s poisoned her view of me…”

“He hasn’t,” Eris interrupts. “You’re not a frequent topic of conversation, and Y/N never asked about you until after that meeting. She never said, but I suspect it’s why she wanted to come today. In some ways, she’s lucky that she’s been so sheltered. She’s still kind. She saw how all of you acted that day, she saw through the masks. My father’s only weakness is her. Beron is completely blind where Y/N is involved. He will start a war if we don’t find her.”

“We’ll find her,” Rhys says. “Do you have any idea where she would go?”

Eris rubs his chin as he contemplates. “She doesn't ever go anywhere unsupervised. She loves being in the forest, but there’s no way she could transport herself that far.”

“I’ve got Azriel searching,” Rhys says. “There’s not much more you can do right now. You can stay here, I’ll show you to your suite.”

Eris nods, “Thank you, but if you think I will sleep while my baby sister is missing, you are sorely mistaken.”

Rhys smirks back at the male. “Oh I know, but this way you can sulk in private.”

————

Eris

Eris is pacing in his room when there’s a soft knock on the door. He exhales before opening the door to the blonde female in the hall. Eris folds his arms across his chest and inclines his head, inviting her inside.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell them the truth,” Mor says. “I’ve been lying to myself for so long, I’d convinced myself that part of me didn’t exist.”

“There’s always got to be a villain, I understand why you did it. But thank you for apologising.”

“This bond... It is not going to go well with your father.”

Eris nods, agreeing with her. “We’ll deal with that later. When I’m High Lord, you’ll be welcome in Autumn again, if you ever wish to return.”

“Will you have me over for tea?” Mor scoffs. “I don’t know how this will work with Y/N or if she even wants it. But I’d like to try if she does.”

Eris straightens defensively. “I’ll support whatever will make her happy,” He says.

The pair stand in silence for a few moments before Eris smiles sadly, shaking his head. “I should’ve known,” He laughs. “When she was a child, she never wanted me to play as a prince, we both were princesses… As she grew, she never took much interest in courting anyone. If Beron had forbade me or my brothers there would’ve been a riot on his hands. But Y/N was never phased by it. Truthfully, I think she was relieved.”

Mor returns his smile. “I’m glad she has you. We’ll find her, don’t worry too much.”

————

Reader

In the cabin, you stare at the eyes on the wall. You would know them anywhere.

You knew your mate had been here, maybe it was even her cabin. Deep down, your heart knew you’d be safe here.

You feel so tired, right to your core. You didn’t know you could winnow, your leash had been so tight you never even tried. Mother knows how far you just travelled.

A steaming cup of tea appears in your hands, the scent of cinnamon and chamomile reminding you of home. Somehow, the cabin knew what would calm you down.

You pull a blanket around your shoulders and sit on the lounge, worn with decades of use, admiring the colourful paintings adorning the walls and every surface. You can tell this place is well-loved, and many happy moments have been spent here.

Exhaustion nags at you and you fight your drooping lids until you can’t any longer. You slip into the darkness of sleep, wrapped in the blanket, with your mate watching over you.

————

You’re woken by a cool sensation on your ankle. You look down and see a wisp of shadows wreathing around. It circles a few times before disappearing into the air.

It’s early in the morning, the first light creeping over the mountains outside. You’re still wearing your ball gown, the fabric creased from your slumber.

Your head spins as you remember the events of the night before.

‘How long have I been sleeping? Oh gods, Eris must be going out of his mind…’

A sharp knock on the door pulls you from your thoughts.

You stand slowly, stretching your stiff limbs and go to answer it – for a moment you forget it’s not your house.

One of Rhys’s winged friends stands on the porch. “Y/N, are you okay?” He looks you up and down, taking in your dishevelled hair and wrinkled dress. “You’re not injured? And how did you get inside?”

“I’m okay, I guess. The door opened for me. It felt safe.”

The male nods, “Eris is worried about you, I’ve just let Rhys know I found you and you’re unharmed.”

“Thank you,” You say.

“Mor wants to speak to you, is that okay?”

You nod in answer, “Yeah, we probably need to have a chat.”

“She’ll be here soon, can I get you anything?” He offers.

You shake your head, pulling the blanket further around you.

“Okay, stay inside, she’ll be here soon.”

————

Eris

Keeping to his word, Eris didn’t sleep at all. He was watching the sunrise breaking over the mountains when he heard a knock at the door. “Come in,” Eris calls out.

Rhys enters the room. “Azriel found her, she’s safe, Mor has gone to bring her back.”

Every cell Eris was tensing is released at Rhys’s words. He tries to roll his shoulders but they are stiff after a tense night.

“Are you sure that’s the best idea?” Eris asks. “She ran because of the mating bond.”

“Mor wanted to speak to her privately. They are the only ones who understand.”

Eris nods, feeling relieved that his sister has been found. He’ll be able to rest once he lays eyes on her again. “Thank you, for helping,” He says.

Rhys waves a hand dismissively. “It does work in my favour to return her safely,” Rhys drawls. “But I would do it anyway.” He turns to leave, “You should eat something, it’s been a long night and we have much to discuss now.”

————

Reader

You do your best to freshen up while you wait. You smooth out your hair and change into some fresh clothes summoned by the cabin – a soft v-neck camisole, cropped at the navel and flowing harem pants, more skin than you’ve ever shown outside your bathing room. The matching set is a brilliant shade of forest green that perfectly complements your hair.

A knock sounds on the door, announcing your mate's arrival.

“Hello Morrigan,” you say stiffly, unsure where to look or where to put your hands. You settle with holding them clasped at your front to stop their trembling.

“Just Mor if you like, can we talk?”

You nod and sit across from each other, the air hangs heavily around you.

Mor sighs, breaking the tense silence. “I guess it snapped for you?”

You nod, the words not making it past your lips.

“This is a cruel twist of fate,” She laughs darkly, leaning forward on her knees.

“Do you not want it?” You ask, trying to hide the hurt in your voice.

“No,” Mor answers quickly. “That’s not what I meant. With my history and our fathers, I don’t see how it could work.”

Why beat around the bush, you suppose? “What happened, with my brother?”

Mor looks at you curiously. “He never told you?”

You shake your head.

“We were amicable, not quite friends, never lovers. I confided in him about my preference for–” She waves at you. “Female companionship… and that I didn’t want to be someone’s wife. Of course, my father had other plans. I ruined them by… sullying myself, and my father dumped me on the border of your court. I’ll spare you the grizzly details right now, but your brother gave me my freedom. I wasn’t ready to tell people the truth, so I let my friends believe Eris to be a monster. In truth, I was the monster all along.”

You allow her candid words to wash over you. What your brother had done, allowing himself to be the villain when nothing was further from the truth.

You stand, moving to sit closer to Mor.

“I never believed the things Beron said about you,” You admit, looking into Mor’s warm brown eyes. Eyes that are full of hope.

“I know that I’m sheltered, but I see the way he treats people. Even my brothers, Lucien especially. I do love him as a father, but as a person… he is awful. I long for the day when Eris takes over Autumn, and I can finally be free. Until then, I will dream of a better world.”

A tear falls from the corner of Mor’s eye and you rest a hand on her knee.

You steady your breathing before continuing, “I’ve never had much interest in males and never allowed myself to consider alternatives. I’d like to try this, if you want to. I know courting in secret will be difficult, but I’m willing to give it a go. I’m ready to start building the world I’ve been dreaming of.”

Tears stream down Mor’s face and she pulls you into a hug. You savour the moment and for the first time, you allow yourself to hope.

————

“ERIS!” You call out, running towards your brother and jumping into his arms.

He catches you easily, wrapping his arms around you. “I was so worried, bright spark,” He says softly into your hair.

“I know. I’m sorry to do that to you. I panicked. I didn’t even mean to winnow, it just happened.”

“I’m just glad you’re okay. But maybe don’t show that trick to anyone else,” Eris puts you down and stands back, taking in your appearance. “It seems this court suits you, Y/N,” He smiles. “Come now,” he extends his arm for you to take, “We’ve got business to discuss with Rhysand. We need to figure out something official so that Father will let you return here with me.” He winks as he walks you to meet with the High Lord.

————

You’re convinced your brother is a genius.

He told your father that you and the High Lady got on well and that your presence allowed him and Rhys to get on with business while the females ‘talk about fashion and whatever else they like to discuss.’

You had batted your lashes at your father, insisting that the High Lady needed some help with fae etiquette and that she was seeking your help on how to be a proper lady.

Beron scoffed at the thought of the ‘wild human harlot’ ever being considered a lady, but he couldn’t say no to your wide-doe eyes. Especially not when Eris mentioned that the friendship could give Autumn more sway in political discussions.

Eris winnowed you both to Rhysand’s Moonstone Palace for your regular ‘meeting’, where Rhys, Feyre and Mor were waiting for you.

Mor looks ethereal under the starry night sky. Her hair flows like liquid gold in soft waves down her back. Her dress is a deep wine red, paying homage to your home court and hugs her curves perfectly. Your eyes linger on her figure for a few moments before moving back to her face.

Thank you, Mother.

Rhys steps forward. “Welcome back, we won’t be staying in the Court of Nightmares this time,” He explains. “We thought it was time to show you our true home.”

Feyre smiles warmly, her eyes twinkle with anticipation.

Rhys takes Eris’s hand and Mor takes yours, winnowing you into the sky above a sparkling city.

Wind rushes around you as you free-fall. The stone floor of the balcony getting closer and closer until it hits your feet. You steady yourself, feeling grateful for your fae reflexes.

Still holding Mor’s hand, she leads you to the balcony's edge. You look out at the city sprawling below you, alive and bustling. The humming sound of life below is like music in your ears.

Mor smiles widely at you. “Welcome to Velaris,” she says. “The Court of Dreams.”

#a court of thorns and roses #acotar fanfiction #mor acotar #mor x reader #mor x y/n #mor x you #morrigan #vanserra!reader #requests

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wordsandrobots · 2 months

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IBO reference notes on . . . the lie of Agnika Kaieru

This is a post about McGillis Fareed.

Originally presented as an antagonist ala the Gundam franchise's 'Char clone' archetype (named after Char Aznable, an expy of the Red Baron by way of the Last of the Romanovs), McGillis turns out to be one of Iron-Blooded Orphans' key protagonists, his initial appearances reframed by an eventual alliance with Martian mercenary group Tekkadan, home to the more obvious lead characters. In large part, it is his story we watch unfold, as he attempts to secure control over Gjallarhorn, the repressive extra-national military in which he serves.

And it's hard to discuss that story without reference to Agnika Kaieru, the man credited with founding Gjallarhorn to counter AI-controlled 'mobile armours' three hundred years earlier. The apocalyptic conflict between humanity and the armours known as the Calamity War is the source of the current social order, not to mention the titular Gundam mecha. Agnika is responsible for leading Gjallarhorn to victory, an achievement for which McGillis idolises him. He is also a non-character, haunting events solely through McGillis' commentary, at once vitally important and entirely absent.

I thought it would be interesting to examine how that works. I ended up writing 7000 words about it. Spoilers for everything and content warnings for mentions of child sexual abuse.

The character who wasn't there

If we take McGillis at his word, his personal philosophy was defined by reading a biography of Gjallarhorn's founder at a young age. More specifically, at a young age, while being sexually abused by his adoptive father, Iznario Fareed, who had extricated him from working at a brothel, a situation he was previously forced into after being abducted while homeless on the streets. The Life of Agnika Kaieru was a light in this darkness, offering a path out of a situation that, though seemingly improved from his original impoverishment, continued to be highly coercive and harmful. McGillis was made heir to a powerful family, yet had to sneak out of his patron's bed in the middle of the night, naked, with visible bruises across his body. He was desperately in need of hope.

The abuse appears to have been baked into this plot-beat from the start, with hints to it provided at multiple points during Season 1. Iznario being accompanied by a blonde boy and blonde young man (echoing the excesses of Carta Issue, a character who surrounds herself with McGillis lookalikes owing to an unrequited crush), McGillis' reluctance to spend the night at the Fareed estate, and the questions of legitimacy surrounding his inheritance all take on darker significance when the truth is revealed in Season 2. We may safely assume he was always planned to be reacting to this form of exploitation.

I suspect Agnika was a later creation. Comparing the outline of the Calamity War provided at the very start of the show to the ways it later becomes relevant suggests a considerable amount of fleshing-out in the interim. There are few outright contradictions, or at least, few we cannot explained by assuming in-fiction ignorance. Nevertheless, the importance of Agnika as a historical figure, the myths surrounding his mobile suit, and the very existence of the mobile armours each enter without previous set-up. This is inelegant, in the manner of much of IBO's exposition: workmanlike additions to propel the plot along, extending exactly as far as required and no more. But we cannot discount their importance to the final result and since McGillis aspires, in a very real sense, to become his hero, it is instructive to consider what the show tells us about Agnika.

Immediately we run into the fact we know nothing at all about him as a person. The only 'canonical' description of his personality was provided by the series' director, who compared him to 'the hero in a shonen manga': a charismatic character who always saves his friends. Apart from reinforcing my belief any spin-off set during the Calamity War would be more typical fare than Iron-Blooded Orphans turned out to be, this tells us little. Within the story as it plays out, Agnika is blank space. Being three hundred years dead, it does not actually matter what he was like – itself a statement about how people can be forgotten even when their names reverberate through history. Indeed, the thematic parallel to the fates of a large chunk of the cast is a potent one. Time has rendered Agnika a cipher, subject to the judgement of distant strangers, his exact morals and intentions long-since stripped away.

What remains are his legacy and beliefs. That we must speak of these separately is telling. The Seven Stars, descendants of Agnika's fellow Gundam pilots and Gjallarhorn's present-day leadership, show little deference to the man who commanded their ancestors. There are no statues memorialising him and though Gundam Bael has its attendant ghost stories, of Agnika's spirit living on inside and how it will only awake for his true inheritor, it is shuttered away, a monument nobody ever goes to see. One gets the strong impression McGillis is the only person to pay him more than lips service in centuries.

Consequently, McGillis' personal interpretation of Agnika's philosophy is the only window we get on his beliefs, and the most thorough explanation of that interpretation is given to his eleven-year-old child-bride, Almiria Bauduin.

Fairy tales told by a pied piper

From what we see on screen, McGillis is never overtly abusive towards Almiria, to whom he becomes engaged as part of a political scheme. He is pushed into the arrangement by Iznario and in the side-story covering its commencement, he goes out of his way to provide Almiria with the choice he lacks – something that spurs Almiria to form a genuine attachment to him. However, the engagement also serves his personal ambitions extremely well and he unquestionably manipulates her over the course of it (hard to think of another term to describe comforting her on the loss of her brother Gaelio, for which McGillis is himself responsible). We could and probably should label his apparent concern for her emotional wellbeing and indulgence of her desire to be seen as a grown-up as an attempt at grooming her, not in the sexual sense, but to make her a more amenable chess-piece. On the other hand, McGillis prevents Almiria from killing herself when the truth comes out, at the cost of an injury that severely disadvantages him in battle shortly thereafter – a notable action when her political utility has just evaporated. On the other other hand, this incident prompts him to describe her, quite disdainfully, as 'troublesome'.

What I'm saying is, the question of whether McGillis sees Almiria as a tool or somebody he truly cares for is thorny, as it is for virtually every single character with whom he has a meaningful relationship. Nevertheless, I think we are meant to believe he is being honest when he talks to Almiria about The Life of Agnika Kaieru. What he says fits his actions elsewhere and there are no on-screen indications he isn't being truthful – at least from his perspective – when he credits Agnika's principles with 'saving him'.

McGillis states Agnika wanted a world where “humans could live as humans”; that is, where humans of all backgrounds could compete fairly to achieve their dreams. To a child of low-birth, abused behind closed doors, this is an enticing prospect. McGillis goes on to entice Almiria in turn with the promise of 'loving whomever you wish' and of neither of them being mocked for the age imbalance between them. He concludes the scene by saying it is time to “pry open the door to that world with my own two hands.”

A few episodes later, in an internal monologue, he refers to Agnika as the “greatest symbol of power the world had ever seen. Authority, vigour, might, capability, vitality, influence, as well as brute force.” Inspired by this man's life story, he is determined to usurp rule over Gjallarhorn and finally address the want of power that had defined his own life since birth.

Like everything to do with Agnika, what this tells us about his principles is somewhat vague. Quite literally the child-friendly version (sort of; McGillis openly tells Almiria he contemplated suicide prior to reading the book and is likely a poor judge of age-appropriateness). Still, the philosophy described combines individualism with egalitarianism. The stated goal is a level playing field, free of artificial advantages like wealth or social status, where everyone can pursue their dreams as far as they are each able. This is implied to be a natural state for humanity, such that achieving it would be a form of reclamation. Further, the kinds of power McGillis lists are personal – physical strength, intelligence, charisma – and he works obsessively to cultivate them. We don't get confirmation that self-improvement is another of Agnika's ideals, but it would fit from what is presented.

If you are anything like me, your brain will have turned to all sorts of weird capitalism fans and their buzzwords for justifying frantic competition between people at every level of society. Phrases like 'personal responsibility', 'rugged individualism', and 'rational self-interest', possibly with a side-helping of – gods help us – libertarianism. You may also be asking, if this is what Gjallarhorn's founder espoused, how did it end up enforcing disparities between different populations, oppressing workers and maintaining social hierarchies, at large and within its own walls?

To which I might reply, have you looked at what all those weird capitalism fans get up to, recently? This is an unsatisfying answer, though, and to properly examine how Agnika's legacy intersects with the dreaded c-word, we need to take a couple of side-steps, starting with why it should be a natural connection to make within the context of this show.

A digression into narratives about capitalism

Iron-Blooded Orphans is one of the few entries in the franchise to directly engage with capitalism as a major source of global problems. That probably sounds a little strange if you're aware of the the reputation Gundam has as a whole, so let me explain.

[Also, let me remind everyone the definition of capitalism is “an economic system based on the private ownership of the means of production and their operation for profit.” (Wikipedia; emphasis mine). It's worth being exact.]

When the concept of space colonies is introduced in 1979's Mobile Suit Gundam, they are framed as a response to global overpopulation and the consequent ecological decline of the Earth (pause to appreciate the massive fuck-off dog-whistle; we'll come back to that in a second). The war the show depicts is presented as a matter of sovereignty, whereby those offloaded into orbit rise up against rule by an indifferent terrestrial government. The colonies themselves are cities built within artificially landscaped environments inside O'Neil cylinders. They do not appear to serve any commercial purpose in and of themselves; when we see labour happening in space, it is in service to the colonies, rather than something they are for (the Zeon miners in sequel series ZZ; there is also the fuel-collecting Jupiter Fleet but they are a very odd entity and not fleshed out).

Contrast this to IBO where Mars' utility as a source of 'half-metal' is of paramount importance to its political and economic position, and the space colonies are explicitly shown to be factory complexes, company towns, resorts, and prisons. The middle arc of Season 1 is focused on a workers' revolt against the corporation running a particular group of colonies, the Dorts, while the impetus behind spin-off game Urdr Hunt is the lead character's desire to transform his home's fortunes by making it a popular tourist destination. There are also mentions of 'resource satellites' and glimpses of what appear to be colonies built to mine asteroids. And true, it isn't stated whether all the colonies originate as extractive operations and production centres. But those purposes are depicted the reason they are maintained to the present day, removing such dirty businesses far above the 'precious', 'unsullied' Earth (cue 'The Lightship', played with maximum irony).

[Side-note: the Dort Company runs its colonies as a 'public enterprise on behalf of the African Union', implying state ownership. However there are multiple references to 'rich factory owners from Earth', suggesting private control. Best I can figure, the colonies are state-owned while the production facilities inside them belong to private companies? Since everyone appears to work for Dort (every worker we see wears the same green jacket), I'm not certain how that functions. Perhaps the workforce is leased to private factories via the Company? That would be fittingly grim.]

Now to be clear, I am not claiming Gundam as a whole doesn't tackle problems caused or exacerbated by capitalism. The introduction of Anaheim Electronics into the original Gundam timeline marks clear interest in exploring the influence of corporate entities on warfare. We may also – from the outside – interrogate overpopulation concerns as deflecting blame from capital's destructive activities, going hand-in-hand with racism over migration, and obfuscating who exactly gets sent to 'colonise the unknown' (spoilers: it's the poor and vulnerable). I'm unconvinced the original run from Mobile Suit Gundam to Char's Counterattack is intended as commentary in this manner; equally, I don't think it's hard to get there (as Gundam Unicorn somewhat demonstrates).

What I'm trying to articulate is a distinction between 'being about a problem' and 'naming capitalism as the cause'. Most Gundam series tend to depict capital as part of an amorphous blob of 'Earth-sphere corruption' or 'greedy elites'. Even Anaheim acts as a third party in the Earth/space conflict, taking advantage of the war rather than shaping the fault-lines along which it occurs. Additionally, actual money very rarely tends to be a factor in the plot. Groups like Celestial Being from Gundam 00 appear to possess near-infinite budget; Gundam Wing's itinerant teenage terrorists have only erratic and arbitrary issues obtaining supplies (where are you getting the damn ammo, Trowa?!); and even in The Witch From Mercury, where you'd really expect expenditure to matter, it… doesn't. G-Witch toys with access to funds and the requirement to be profitable early on, but overall is more a courtly drama in business drag, unconcerned with why corporations work the way they do. Issues such as the exploitation of vulnerable populations for the sake of driving down costs are gestured to without becoming strictly plot-relevant.

Meanwhile over in IBO, the poverty of the Martian characters is an ever-present threat and come the denouement, whether they have any money left is of paramount importance. The show tells us bullets have a price-tag, using this to drive actions inside a world run for the sake of profit. It is mentioned that productivity in the African Union's colonies is expected to drop following the Dort labourers wining better working conditions, a boon to the competing economic blocs that leads to one of them sheltering Tekkadan in gratitude for helping bring this change about. The reason co-main character Orga Itsuka does not survive episode 48 is because arms-dealer Nobliss Gordon thinks it will be financially advantageous to have him killed. That fellow businessman McMurdo Barriston extends limited aid to Tekkadan after publicly cutting them loose for the sake of the Teiwaz conglomerate's reputation and revenue is highly relevant to his characterisation. And Teiwaz itself is run like a mafia, a riff on yakuza practices that erases the line between big business and organised crime – a hell of claim to make in a story where another of the leads' entire goal is uplifting Mars by playing the economic system.

Now, in my reading the major theme running through Iron-Blooded Orphans is exploitation. An acute depiction of how capitalist societies operate – the amorality of the profit motive, the colonial underpinnings, the sheer, monstrous cost – is a subset of this. I don't feel it's any surprise that an attempt to realistically depict child soldiers and other exploited groups should lead to a detailed rendering of the gears in which the world is currently caught. Equally, I don't think it fair to reduce IBO to being about capitalism, full-stop. Patriarchy, slavery and repressive class structures all have older roots and there is an argument to be made that where it touches those things, the show cares less about them as artefacts of modern economic arrangements than as evils in their own right.

It still manages to say stuff about the functioning of capitalism with more bluntness than most pieces of fiction I've encountered and, speaking as an Englishman, the thing that strikes me most is the decision to make the lynchpin of its world an aristocratically-led military force.

A further digression into aristocratic fables

Aristocracy means 'government by a hereditary elite'. It is sustained via wealth passed down through generations of a small group of families and was one of the key mechanisms by which the feudal system operated, prior to the slow capitalist revolution of the 16th to 18th Centuries. It is often treated as obsolete, having been superseded by more modern forms of 'being rich'. Certainly it seems quaint in these days of tech billionaires and oligarchs to talk of descendents of feudal lords who prize family trees traced back to William the Conqueror.

What you have to understand about the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland (official name used with illustrative intent) is that this country never properly rid itself of its aristocracy. We are a monarchy. Our parliament includes a House of Lords. And while these are both vestiges of earlier systems, they are neither of them ceremonial. The Lords and the Crown possess actual power that can affect decisions made by the House of Commons, our democratically-elected governing body. The Lords (who are not elected and include those appointed for life alongside ninety-two hereditary positions [this was a compromise]) can review and send back certain types of bills passed in the Commons, delaying their introduction into law. Meanwhile the Crown technically still holds an absolute veto at the end of the legislative process, which only by convention do they not use (royal assent is required for any bill to become law; apparently the last time it was withheld was 1708, but the threat remains and the Crown continues to interfere in proposals affecting their interests).

As you might expect, there have been murmurings for years about replacing the Lords with elected officials and we all like to pretend the King just exists for show. Regardless, these institutions – hundreds of years old and holdovers from a completely different social and economic order – persist because the aristocracy remains a useful tool of the modern British state. The Royal Family can be said to be its advertising wing, not in the sense of attracting tourism but of going around shoring up foreign relations, to help keep Britain the fifth richest country in the world. These diplomatic efforts are a key reason why they are worth the maintenance costs (and the noxious scandals). However it goes deeper than that.

Kings and queens don't make sense without the idea of hereditary superiority, and even with its overt political power reduced by changing times, the British aristocracy continues to shape our upper classes. We have an entire parallel school system preparing the children of the wealthy for life running the country. Our public schools (fee-paying schools open to all who can afford them; we call the free ones 'state schools') have been educating the sons of the 'best families' for centuries. They were the source of the officers and administrators who maintained the British Empire and they continue to be where a massive proportion of our diplomats, politicians, journalists, civil servants, and military leadership receive their education.

This system, funnelling kids through schools like Eaton and Harrow to Oxford and Cambridge Universities, is a factory for class solidarity. It allows students to network and, just as importantly, instils in them the signifiers of being 'the proper kind of person'. Ways of speaking. Ways of dressing. An awareness of who they should defer to and who they can look down on, so that they can be recognised by other alumni as 'correct'. Trustworthy. Reliable.

Above all, it reinforces the notion they have both a right and a responsibility to lead.

Because that's the heart of the lie nobility tells: 'there is something about us that means we must rule over them.' If Britain no longer entirely subscribes to this quality being inborn, it can at least be taught to those of the right stock, bringing them a little closer to the true aristocracy. They can elevate themselves above the plebs, as diligent servants of the Crown, who remains the untouchable pinnacle of quality. [Translation note: 'the Crown' refers to both the reigning monarch and the state. They are functionally the same thing. That's what being a monarchy means.]

Thus, the Empire was able to send its younger, weirder sons out to plunder far-off lands, and produced many an honourable sort to lead thousands against machine guns in Europe, and, in a post-imperial age, Britain can still present an impeccably polite face to the world, to negotiate better deals. Diminished as it is, the aristocracy's shambling husk continues on, manufacturing not the capitalists per se (although the successors to the original land-lords are hardly above enriching themselves and plenty of our lifetime peers are people who've run successful businesses), but the supporting apparatus for capitalist operations. The grease on the wheels and a permanent roadblock along the road to meaningful social change.

You literally cannot have equality if there's a guy at the top who gets a stupid hat and ungodly amounts of influence just for who his parents were.

The wrong story, at the right time

It isn't hard to imagine about how it happened.

Gjallarhorn is the only significant military force left standing after a quarter of a solar-system-spanning human race has been exterminated. Faced with the task of reconstructing civilisation, it splits the world into four blocs for easier administration, abolishing the old national borders. At those blocs' request, it then applies the same reorganisation to Mars and Jupiter, the better to funnel resources towards restoring the Earth. Throughout, it maintains the position of a neutral arbiter; Gjallarhorn was formed to stop the War; now it must ensure there will never be another.

To this end, the tools that allowed it to triumph – the Alaya-Vijnana augmentation technology and the Gundam frames that meant flesh and blood could out-compete tireless machinery – are buried. Victory is instead attributed to the resilience of pure, unadulterated humanity. The pilots slew the monsters not thanks to their equipment but their innate ability. The greatest among them are heralded as champions and natural leaders.

It is a small step to decreeing that their children will inherit their positions. Innate qualities can be passed down and heirs, raised in the image of their parents. Maybe this is an extension of those traditions from which sprang duellists bearing red flags. Maybe it is merely a result of the new-born legends. What matters is, Gjallarhorn endures, guided by its seven stars.

Over the following centuries, the system embeds. The ethos of human purity takes hold, measured by distance from the homeworld. Unfortunates born to space or on distant, dusty worlds posses utility for digging up half-metal or labouring in orbital factories but have no place inside Earth's atmosphere. They would make the place untidy, now the scars of the War are scrubbed away. Those who seek to upset this situation are dissuaded. Those subjected to augmentation, dismissed as subhuman. The peace is kept.

Sadly, new generations of the ennobled families lack the moral fibre of their forebears, accepting bribes, pushing the boundaries of Gjallarhorn's neutrality. There are rules and those tasked with enforcing the rules and yet still the rot spreads. These younger generations lack the moral fibre of their vaunted forebears. A sad decline.

Or perhaps that is bullshit and they are exactly the same: people come into power, who will justify anything for the sake of never giving it up and ensuring that all things flow towards the centre.

Gjallarhorn is the armed wing of the Earth super-state, operating for the benefit of the whole despite competition between the individual blocs. That is to say, it is the army of a capitalist state writ large, in the usual manner of sci-fi magnifying things across time and space. Broadly, a state's purpose under capitalism is to facilitate the smooth running of private enterprise by maintaining infrastructure, providing a workforce, and destroying anything that gets in the way of expansion. Tradition, upper-class solidarity and ideological frameworks all help hold the arrangement together. It is useful, after all, to train people to believe they're supporting a grand cause when they are in fact facilitating exploitation and theft for the benefit of someone else.

And it is here we must turn our attention back to The Life of Agnika Kaieru. Above, I glibly compared the things McGillis says Agnika stood for to capitalistic propaganda. What I mean is that it reads as the ideology surrounding free-market capitalism, where companies are released from all restraint and allowed to compete irrespective of consequence. This is often said to fuel innovation and create a healthy market that will – somehow – benefit everyone, despite observably driving owners to increase profits at the expense of large numbers of people, including their customers.

In that context, claiming you want to ensure everyone competes 'fairly' is disingenuous, since it entails the removal of both limitations and safety nets. No artificial advantages and reliance solely on personal strengths means those who are old, disabled, or otherwise lacking Agnika's stated virtues will automatically be left behind. This is not hypothetical; I see it around me everyday, as a result of policies predicated on exactly this basis, just as we see it represented in IBO by a wide-scale absence of social support and characters too vulnerable to survive a free-for-all (Atra, Builth, the Turbines, in flashback). But the ideological statement elides such problems.

Given the title of the biography, I assume it dates from after Agnika died. Any impression derived from it must therefore be suspected of being what Gjallarhorn required him to have believed. Historically, both aristocracy and capitalism alike have benefited from this kind of distortion, so it would be no great surprise if the book turned out to be more PR than honest report. While Agnika's principles are incompatible with the hereditary advantages enjoyed by the Seven Stars, there are ways to read them as being aligned with the wider social and economic arrangements. As such, it is entirely plausible the way he is remembered was designed to support those arrangements.

The right story, at the wrong time

The rhetoric of McGillis' attempted coup centres Gjallarhorn's failure to adhere to its original values, citing unwarranted attacks against civilians and inference in Earth politics. The Seven Stars must be replaced with sincere believers to correct a drift away from what Agnika intended. McGillis outright proclaims his 'revolutionaries' have the truth of Gjallarhorn on their side.

Even if this is a calculated stance designed to rile younger officers into being the army he requires, McGillis' internal monologues reveal a commitment to the ideal of the individual seizing their dreams through sheer personal strength. He seeks not only to prove this is possible, but also to inspire those who cower because “they don't know how to use their fangs” into following his example. From what we see, he has taken Agnika's words – as they were relayed to him – as gospel.

Is his interpretation correct? And if it is, was it what Agnika believed, or simply what it was useful for him to say? McGillis is manipulative, spinning tales to make others do what he wants. Was his idol the same, pre-empting biographical distortions by espousing a finely-tuned message that would reassure the masses while he built a system geared toward curtailing the power of all but a few?

Trick question. There's no answer in the text. As I said, Agnika isn't a character; what he really intended is irrelevant and therefore not present. Yet a distinction must be drawn between what is said publicly and what is said behind the scenes. This is a layering IBO captures via Rustal Elion, McGillis' rival for control of Gjallarhorn, who out-manoeuvres and defeats him. Rustal is a pragmatist unencumbered by quasi-mystic belief in Agnika or some 'true purpose' to Gjallarhorn. He does whatever it takes to best McGillis, casually breaking centuries-old weaponry restrictions and even provoking a fresh war to undermine his opponent's plans – all while presenting as a bastion of lawful rule. Privately, he admits to being 'shady', willing to deal with whomsoever furthers his goals (e.g. Nobliss Gordon, who starts violent uprisings to spur sales of his merchandise). It is this capacity for realpolitik that means Rustal comes out on top.

The narrative does gesture at motivations beyond self-interest. When Rustal reforms Gjallarhorn in the wake of the Seven Stars decimation at McGillis' hand, he abolishes the aristocratic council (of which he is also a member) and replaces it with a more democratic form of governance. That he is immediately elected to the role of supreme commander gives us some reason to doubt his sincerity. Offsetting this, he is also shown to be working towards the abolishment of slavery in his society.

Regardless of his exact degree of progressiveness, however, Rustal appears entirely uninterested in changing what Gjallarhorn is for. See, institutions and social structures have specific purposes, which need not be the ones they claim, via statements or appearances. A capitalist business may claim to exist to provide a product or service, but its actual purpose is the generation of profit. The police may claim to be an institution of citizen protection, but their purpose is the enforcement of the law, which can be detrimental to some or all of those selfsame citizens.

Gjallarhorn's purpose is to control the colonial holdings of the Earth and maintain the current division of the world. They administrate the extraction of resources, quash attempts at social change, and crush resistance to exploitative business practices. Moreover, Rustal is certainly well-aware this is what his job entails. It is his fleet that carries out a calculated massacre of the Dort workers' unions when they push for better conditions and he personally orders an orbital strike on defeated child-soldiers as an exercise in image management. His reforms thus smack more than a little of an army or a weapons manufacturer improving its hiring policies: sure, they now employ women and members of minority groups; they still exist to kill people.

For these kinds of entities, purpose is all-important. You can dress them up however you want, so long as their function continues to be carried out. I bet, when I described my country's persisting aristocratic elements, you immediately went, “that sounds like [mechanics of regional upper class and attendant justifications for social division].” Yes. Precisely. We don't have feudal system holdovers at the centre of our society because they're the most efficient or only means of fulfilling those roles. They're simply the ones that make the most sense at this point in our history. A different environment would necessitate a different form, but the function would remain.

[I am glossing over the mutability of function here – the power of the king has reduced greatly via political and economic shifts, so he's no longer performing quite the same role as his ancestors – but hopefully you get what I mean.]

Rustal's reforms are an illustration of purpose superseding form. At the end of the show, the narration informs us trust in Gjallarhorn has been restored, indicating an end to meaningful opposition to what we have seen it do. Similarly, when Rustal states that the organisation's history matters more than its mythology, he is saying it has largely been operating correctly and should continue to do so in the future. The public claims can be altered, the set-dressing reworked. The function remains.

Poor delusions

Like the British state and its equivalents, Gjallarhorn is draped in heroic, mythological imagery. From uniforms to equipment naming conventions, it presents as grand and noble, even possessing heraldry, as if originating in a gathering of brave knights. We, the audience, know that this is a veneer plastered atop the material reality. Scenes of its foundation are comparatively mundane: sober men wearing drab suits, shaping the future with the stroke of a pen. The dress-up played since is pure embellishment.

McGillis, however, takes the imagery seriously.

His plan hinges on 'awakening' Gundam Bael and being 'accepted' as its new pilot, fulfilling an old rule/tradition whereby whoever possesses this particular mobile suit is the undisputed leader of Gjallarhorn. By taking a disgraced Iznario's place among the Seven Stars, augmenting himself with an Alaya-Vijnana system, and capturing the facility containing Bael, McGillis intends to anoint himself the new Agnika. At a stroke, he believes he will gain the loyalty of all Gjallarhorn forces on Earth and thus the military strength necessary to defeat Rustal's Moon-based Arianrhod Fleet.

For reasons I'll detail another time, I don't think his strategy is necessarily ridiculous. But it doesn't work. The other Seven Stars do not automatically bow down to Bael's new pilot, instead adopting a neutral position awaiting the outcome of the impending battle, and there is no mass uprising among the ranks below them. Since Rustal otherwise commands an overwhelming number of troops, this turns the conclusion into a foregone one. The few who do join McGillis' cause are annihilated and he is forced to retreat, eventually dying in a one-man attack on the Arianrhod flagship.

It must be stressed that McGillis isn't stupid. He is a canny political operator who correctly identifies the biggest obstacles to success, and while his analysis of Gjallarhorn's corruption is deployed principally as a rhetorical tool, he's not wrong. The leadership are complicit in a lot of extremely shady activity, including experimentation with Alaya-Vijnana technology, contravening the taboo against augmentation their ancestors propagated. They do act against their publicly-stated values, to the detriment of ordinary people and in the interests of those who benefit from a hideously exploitative system.

His mistake is to treat this as a bug, rather than the feature we might more correctly diagnose it to be. Within The Life of Agnika Kaieru, McGillis believes he has discovered the hidden truth about Gjallarhorn. He imagines by setting Agnika aside, the Seven Stars obfuscated mechanisms to curtail their authority and an ethos more welcoming to people like him. (There is a lot we could discuss about the ways McGillis is immunised against some forms of bigotry by his station, despite his illegitimate status, and how he exploits more disadvantaged soldiers like Ein Dalton and Isurugi Camice for his own ends. It's just, that'd be another two thousand words and I really need to wrap this up.)

Yet if we follow Rustal's advice and heed history, the timeline shown in Season 1 has Gjallarhorn dolling out sections of Mars to the blocs a mere three years after the Calamity War ended. Among the many things we don't know about Agnika is if he survived the War, but whether he did or not, his organisation pretty instantly became a tool of social division and exploitation. The most we may allow is that its original purpose was truly noble. Its actions once the apocalypse had been averted speak for themselves.

This has been long walk, I suppose, for the fairly succinct summary of McGillis as a character who rejects private truth in favour of embracing a public, propagandising lie. I am compelled by the idea even so. Capitalism is far from the only system to have claimed universal virtue while benefitting merely a select few, but it has gone uniquely hard on the idea 'you can make it too'. Given IBO's uncluttered depictions of a world run for profit (with the complicity of ostensibly non-capitalistic institutions), taking a cynical read on Agnika's supposed ideology is trivial. Human triumphalism and Gjallarhorn conceptualised as the arbiter of fair competition dovetail into the show's unjust present in a manner too neat to discount. More than anything else, the choice McGillis makes is a common one in real life.

Sometimes, that's a positive thing, pushing people to insist on making promises come true to the detriment of the swindler proffering them. Others, it is a source of profound disorientation, leading in very dark directions as blame for the dissonance is attributed to anything but the root cause.

[This seems is as good a juncture as any to remark that McGillis is not a proponent of anything we can easily label fascistic. He focuses on individual freedom irrespective of national identity; he is attacking people genuinely perpetuating his world's ills; and he definitely doesn't bother courting a disaffected public by playing to middle-class anxieties. He doesn't need to. His plan is to enact a coup from high up inside a military hierarchy, while promising to lessen the force exerted against society. Though there are links to be traced between his ideology and fascist rhetoric, it isn't the avenue his circumstances compel him to go down.]

[I am 100% certain he would've gone in that direction if they had, but that's a counterfactual, not what the show actually presents.]

How McGillis got to where he did is another of IBO's many examples of adaptations to extremis that look utterly bonkers when seen at a remove. An outsider, thrust into the realm of a vicious upper class, he accurately declared the whole thing a nest of lies and hypocrisy. He could never buy the pretences it sold, to others and to itself. His very existence was damning disproof. Then, at his lowest ebb, he found a story about what it should be and that – that he bought, hook, line and sinker.

Already primed to consider power the be-all and end-all of life, he took Agnika's story as a guide to gaining the upper-hand, going so far as to tell Rustal (then a young adult) that the only thing he now desired was Bael. Though it seems he lapsed into a wait-and-see approach between prepubescence and his mid-twenties, witnessing children from Mars fighting using Gundams makes him believe destiny is taking a hand in events and the time has come to act. He betrays Carta and Gaelio, his two closest friends, both heirs to other Seven Star families, for the sake of clearing his path forwards. These were the first people to treat him like a normal child and he admits with his dying breath that he reciprocated their affection. This was part of why he killed/attempted to kill them: in their company, he started losing the will to pursue his dream, put off guard by finally having something positive in his life. So he chose to violently reject them, unable to give up on what he'd started.

That could easily be McGillis' epitaph. He is characterised by an overwhelming commitment to seeing through his power-grab, even if it means fighting an entire fleet to go personally kill Rustal. This is very far from a sane response and we might say likewise about everything he does prior. From his gleeful divinations at the sight of ancient relics, to his rapturous exultation on activating a machine he knows just required the appropriate brain/computer interface, the personality lurking beneath his habitually polite mask is little short of unhinged.

Which is of a piece with a group of teenage orphans clinging tight to the idea a good life lies just beyond the next battle, having internalised that proving their strength is the only way to survive. McGillis has to think taking on Agnika's mantle will bring him what he wishes, because otherwise his actions have been for nought, nothing can be changed, and the misery he endured is inescapable. It's the same self-reinforcing spiral, turned up to eleven.

(Re)imagining the world

In the final outcome, Iron-Blooded Orphans refutes McGillis' individualism, albeit not without caveat. Destabilising the Seven Stars creates space for incremental change and self-interestedly assisting independence activists lays the groundwork for Mars' eventual freedom from Earth. McGillis does create a “storm in this stagnant world,” with lasting consequences regardless of how swiftly it subsides. Nonetheless, his death is a futile one compared to the other causalities during the finale, who all manage to make their last acts count for something. Where Tekkadan share a mutually-supporting community – they are a 'pack of wolves' – he stands alone and saves nothing of what mattered to him.

As I said above, I don't want to treat IBO as a story solely and absolutely about capitalism. In a similar vein, I'm not trying to position an interpretation of Agnika as a vector for capitalist propaganda as the intended one. There are multiple moving parts here, spinning out from that serious consideration of child-soldiers as more than just a trope in fiction aimed at teenagers. My read on those parts is contextualised by my cultural background (I do now want to look into how Japan's own aristocracy mutated with their forced induction into global capitalism).

At the same time, McGillis indisputably misapprehends how a structure within a capitalist environment works because he wants to believe a version of what says about itself. And The Life of Agnika Kaieru is an artefact of that environment. Even without knowing more about its authorship, publication or veracity, and setting aside what McGillis brings to the table (his desire for power was set years before he'd heard of Agnika), the fact he finds it in Iznario's library speaks volumes. Biographies are not neutral objects. As alluded to above, the act of public remembrance shapes culture and hence society. I think it both reasonable and interesting to look at McGillis' arc with the assumption the book is ultimately commensurate with everything he was reacting against.

What would have happened had McGillis won is another moot question when the narrative hinges specifically on his failure. But a land of competition, overseen by the supreme authority of Gjallarhorn, where the only moral law derives from the dreams of the strong?

Perhaps the most damning thing to be said of McGillis' principles – of Agnika's principles – is that they would produce a world functionally identical to the one we started with.

———

Postscript:

For the sake of absolute clarity, I do not believe whether a story is about capitalism or not has any bearing on its quality. My discussion of the other Gundam shows is intended purely to highlight what I see as a fundamental difference between what they are doing and what IBO is. I don't think it is a problem that G-Witch is a personal/courtly drama, or that Wing is focused on fighting in a more philosophical than material sense, or that the franchise has overall tended towards addressing conflict per se, without any serious interrogation from an economic angle.

Stories can only fail at what they attempt, not at what they don't.

I nevertheless stand by what I said. A piece of fiction concerned merely with some generalised notion of 'human greed' is not about capitalism in any meaningful sense, and I fear that's where most Gundam shows land, one way or another, when they touch on corporate interests.

[Index of other writing]

#gundam iron blooded orphans #gundam ibo #g tekketsu #tekketsu no orphans #gundam #mcgillis fareed #agnika kaieru #gjallarhorn #capitalism #reference #notes

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proudfreakmetarusonikku · 3 years

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(/rp! also, huge trigger warning for assault, graphic violence, death, abuse, possessive behaviour, obsession, mental breaks, hallucination, really fucking creepy treatment of a corpse, unreliable narrators, the perspective of a villain, torture, manipulation, and gaslighting! this gets pretty fucked up).

When Dream sees Tommy for the first time, there is no dramatic shift, no acknowledgement that his life had changed forever. No knowledge of the fact. All he sees is a skinny little kid who's obnoxious and loud, and he catalogues him just as one of Philza’s strays and leaves it at that.

No, it’s when Tommy drives the sword into his chest for the first time, and Dream wakes up from his non-canon death smiling despite itself when it clicks. He’s not sure what “it” is, exactly, but it’s just something about him Dream hadn’t seen in anyone before that has him hooked, captivated from the beginning.

(There's the vague recollection that he was like Tommy once, a bright eyed naive youth too loud for his own good, but that’s not unique. It’s not that, at least not entirely.)

The conflict was not started by Tommy, nor was he of any particular threat to Dream, but he was fun. So he ignored the rest, and took the boy's music discs. He knew Tommy well enough that he’d fight for them, and fight he did, and even though Dream lost in the end he laughed all the while. He’d played many a game before, but none quite this fun!

They both know this isn��t where it’ll end. Only one hopes it will be.

——

Dream didn’t care much about Wilbur's little revolutionary movement at first. As long as he obeyed the rules, and stayed in the server, it wouldn’t matter whether he delusionally thought he was under his own governance or not.

This changed immediately when he learnt Tommy was involved.

L'Manburg, a name he didn’t bother to remember until he learnt Tommy named it, was tiny, barely any more than a scavenged old world vehicle and some trees. It’s populace was peaceful, only Wilbur even an adult. None of that mattered. It wasn’t that the nation was a threat, though he certainly wouldn’t dissuade his friends fear that it was. But fighting L'Manburg meant fighting Tommy, and Dream wouldn't pass up the opportunity for anything.

He grinned with glee behind his mask as he blew Tommy's strange dirt hovel “embassy” sky high, enthusiastically threatened Tommy before remembering half heartedly to threaten the rest of the nation. He made dealings, found weak links- a new immigrant to the SMP that joined L'Manburg after the war began, it turns out. He offered extravagant promises in exchange for their betrayal, hiding the strings attached to his fingers.

Oh, but it was all worth it when the person with the eyes of an old god lead the revolutionaries into a trap, all worth it when they descended on them at once. It was definitely worth it to kill Tommy, kill Tommy, see him scream and cry in pain and stumble trying to escape and him taking a shuddering last breath. Dream had never seen anything as beautiful.

(It was a war, and feelings like this were okay in wars, right? It’s not like he was obsessed, it’s not like he was a monster. He’d been trying to be good, and killing your enemies was good, right?)

He killed Tommy a second time, too. The boy with shaking hands and a leg hanging limp challenged him to a duel for his nations future. His loss was assured, and Dream knew Tommy knew that also. This one was quicker, Tommy dead between the arrow entering his skull and his broken body make a loud thud against the planks, but it was no less fascinating. If only he had infinite canon lives, Dream would happily give up any ambitions and spend eternity seeing the boy die in so many fascinating ways.

(No, what the fuck was he thinking? The SMP was worth more than some stupid kid, and Dream wasn’t so inept with morality to know torturing someone over and over, killing them, was wrong.)

(Yet, it was so tempting he was almost ready to renounce morality wholeheartedly.)

It eventually comes to the discs again, Tommy handing Dream his prized possessions for some silly little nation. Dream knew Tommy would do anything to get them back. Having so much control was addicting, even more than control of anything else. Dream had learnt long ago that if you didn’t have complete power over anything, people would take the power from you and make you hurt.

So why did he care more about control of some kid than avoiding his own pain?

——

Dream would have sided with Tommy. Really, he would have, but Schlatt just had the better deal.

He holds the book in his hands, power filling him. He repeats the incantation, sacrifices the blood from his veins. He stares into the face of a man near-identical.

“”Brother dearest,”” he says, voice level. “”What do you wish of me?””

Dream grins behind his mask. “”Tommy.””

—

Wishes must come true, Dream thinks, as he sits on the beach of Logstedshire, Tommy passed out and leaning against his arm.

Oh, what he’d give for this moment to last forever. Alas, it passes, like they all do. Still, Tommy's getting so obedient lately- barely even grumbling as he threw his item into the hole. Part of him missed when Tommy would fight back all the while- his pained screams were entertaining. Still, it was safer this way, and more enjoyable in the long run. He’d hate to have his little songbird break it’s neck against the cage doors, never to sing again.

He’s not sure when life outside of Tommy became a chore, but he remembers dimly that it wasn’t always like that. There was a Dream long ago that wouldn’t give up friends and family, who'd cry over losing them even if he’d cut their threads voluntarily. He wasn’t that Dream anymore, the numb feeling in his chest a sign of growth. It didn’t matter that everything outside of Tommy was so miserable, because just being around the boy was a feeling a hundredfold better than any happiness he felt before.

Still, he had duties and responsibilities. Ones that seemed so important long ago, so fulfilling. Maybe one day they’d feel like that again. He had plans, from what he learnt. Government had not left him satisfied, but- whatever you could call what his relationship with Tommy was, it definitely did. Family, he supposed, recognising the boys actions towards him and his brothers. If he could make the entire server like that, that’d be a happiness greater than any other, apart from how Tommy made him feel.

He spent time with Tubbo, getting further and further towards getting that stupid fucking ram boy to calling him a friend and giving him Tommy's disc, all he wanted from him.

(He wasn’t jealous, of course he wasn’t. The anger he felt whenever Tommy called Tubbo a friend, that wasn’t jealousy. That was just logical).

Far more interesting was checking on the prison's completion. When it’s completed, it’d truly be a thing of beauty. Of course, his favourite part was the main cell, that he’d put so much thought into. He’d included all the little things that made Tommy squirm, made his breath hitch and eyes dart around fearfully. That would be so much fun.

(Tommy would learn to appreciate the fun in time, too. He was a smart boy, if irritatingly yet fascinatingly stubborn. He just needed to be taught that if he listened and just played along, Dream could give him the world.)

It took far too long, but eventually it finished, and he could return to the ugly mess of tents and logs he’d made so sure Tommy could never leave. He always started shaking when Dream showed up, trying desperately to hide his fear in his voice, and it was absolutely adorable. Dream savoured it, savoured everything about Tommy as they spent hours talking. Everything, his hysterical laugh, his nervous glances for escapes, the way he flinched whenever Dream grabbed his shoulder, his wrist, the poorly hidden look of pain when he held tighter, just hard enough to irritate the bruises that painted his skin a canvas of black and blue, it was all perfect.

Only he could love Tommy this much, and in time he knew Tommy would learn to appreciate that.

——

The second time he used the book, a tower extended from the ruins of the makeshift prison he’d made for Tommy. DreamXD stated ahead of him.

“”Brother dearest,” he said, “why are you calling on me again so soon?””

“”Bring him back,”” he said, voice painfully numb.

DreamXD shrugged a shoulder, golden hair waving around like in water. “”Who?””

“”Tommy.””

“”I cannot,”” DreamXD said. “”He lives.”” Dream couldn’t help but smile at hearing that.

“”Then bring him back to me.””

DreamXD laughed, a sound like church bells. “”That would be unnecessary. Did I not already grant you the mortal?””

Dream clenched his fist hard enough blood dripped onto scorched earth. “”He left me-“”

“”And you shall find him, no matter what.”” DreamXD smiled under the mask. “”You are bonded to him, and neither death nor distance shall break that. Just look, and you will find him, til the end of time and even past.””

“”Thank you,”” Dream said, genuinely for once.

“”Only the best for my little brother and sister. And I know you would do the same for us, brother dearest.””

——

His planning had come to fruition for once.

They were alone, in the depths of the Earth, just him, Tommy, the fucking hilarious excuse for a “president” Tommy called a friend for some reason, and his axe.

Finally, he could bring his dreams to fruition. He could get rid of any loose threads, and claim what was rightfully his. And once he’d taught Tommy to be grateful, he could get to work on the rest of the server.

It’d be beautiful. Everyone would be his friend, his brother, his sister, something in between. There would be no more wars, just peace. Everyone would be safe, he’d know they’re safe and they’d never rip him to pieces and laugh at his pain. And oh, it’d like be hard work, breaking everyone into obedience but not too much to the point they become boring, but so enjoyable and satisfying. He’d almost be disappointed when it was over.

Tommy- his Tommy, his Tommy, was crying, and it was amusing but he almost wanted to reach out and comfort him and explain it’d all be for the best. He’d do that later, once he’d secured him and any loose ends were gone forever. He couldn’t afford weakness until they were alone, but Tommy made it so tempting.

The ram and Tommy hugged a final goodbye, and the adoration he had towards Tommy, hiding his fear behind a smile, made Dream fucking sick. He should know Tommy was his. They all should know. He’d teach them, when he made the server a perfect family. Even Tubbo, if Tommy begged enough. Dream would do anything to hear Tommy's pathetic, gorgeous begging, breaking through his aggressive walls, and bringing back some random sheep was easily in his brother's power.

See, he could be kind. He wasn’t cruel, he wasn’t a monster. He didn’t even care if he was anymore, fun was so much more important than nonsensical human concepts, but it wasn’t even true. He could be incredibly, selflessly kind, as long as he had a reason. They’d learn, once he fulfilled his dream.

The sound of a nether portal, of betrayal, shatters his dreams and at this point he wonders why he’s surprised.

——

He’d had doubts, during the weeks (months, years? he had no way of knowing) he’d been trapped in the cell, but Tommy being here with him confirmed his design was excellent.

Oh, Tommy was being fucking obnoxious- and Dream knew he was doing it on purpose- but he saw it in the way he never was able to look at the lava properly, the way he always woke up in a cold sweat calling for his daddy like the child he insisted he wasn’t. It was perfect.

(Of course it was, though. It’s not hard to build on something already perfected, and Tommy was the perfect little toy.)

Tommy was so frustratingly different though. He tried not to take it out on him- it wasn’t his fault that everyone else spread lies, planted nonsense in his head about Dream being bad and not trying to do the best for everyone but especially for him- but he struggled sometimes, and it was always so tempting to hurt Tommy anyway, and get lost in the melody of his screams. It wouldn’t teach Tommy anything though, and that’s what was important. He needed to teach Tommy what was best for him.

Tommy had unlearnt all the lessons Dream painstakingly taught him. That wouldn’t be an issue- it was so, so fun to teach- but he knew, painfully deep down in his heart that he could not hold Tommy forever, not yet. The lockdown wasn’t forever, and Dream had no escape route yet. Tommy would just forget everything again, at the hands of his “friends” that couldn’t love him as much as Dream did. They needed to learn far more than Tommy did.

(Except Ranboo of course- oh, the purple eyed boy had the silly naive thoughts in his head everyone seemed to have that friendship was anything but possessing another, but he agreed family came first, listened to Dream, helped him, even with clenched teeth.)

And when one day the frustration got to Dream one day and he was so furious he hit Tommy again and again against the walls of the prison and strangled him until he was cold all he could do was laugh and laugh and laugh.

It was so, so funny, because of course he’d be the one to destroy everything he loved.

——

This time, when DreamXD is called, he looks upon his brother with concern.

“”Brother dearest,”” he says, “”are you quite alright?””

Dream laughs, because of course he’s alright! The tears staining his face must be joy, because of course he’s alright. He’s holding Tommy here, with him, and he was quiet, he must be listening. He can’t be dead, he can’t be, then there’d be no point to any of this.

“”Drista has been concerned for you for quite a while, you know,”” DreamXD continued. “”Is this because of your mortal?””

“”He’s been ever so quiet lately,”” Dream said, with a voice hoarse from crying and laughter. “”I’m not sure to be concerned or happy with him.””

“”You’re not well, Dream.”” DreamXD said, with a tone of finality despite clearly being wrong. “”The boy is dead.””

Dream laughs. “”And yet he does not slip from my grasp.””

“”Then, brother, why did you call me?””

The silence pierces through air like a knife. Eventually, through hiccuping sobs, Dream says “”Just, please, bring him back.””

Tommy sputters to life with ghostly eye and pure white streaks and more bruise on him than corpselike skin and Dream thinks he has never been more perfect.

——

Quackity's left, he thinks, because the pain's stopped growing.

He laughs, because he doesn’t know what to fucking do anymore but laugh. He can’t give up the secrets of the book, of course he can’t. Family comes first, after all, and he dreads to think what the bastard would do to his brother. But the pain was awful, never ending in waves through his whole body, and he almost just wants to confess so he can die.

He cradles what’s left of his arm since the bastard cut it off at the elbow, and he sobs. He doesn’t even care to hide it with his mask. It’s not even the pain that hurts the most, even. It’s that Tommy's gone, and by the time Dream escapes- because he’s going to escape, he’s got to- he might be so far from his grasp even their fates being tied might not be enough.

“Of course that’s not true,” a fake voice says in his head, and wavy form approaches. Fuck, the blood loss must be bad today. It always is when he sees things. Usually it’s George or Bad or Sapnap, and it leaves him with a numb feeling in his chest that he’s familiar with, but today it’s Tommy, and that’s worse. It reminds him of what he cannot hold.

“Fuck off,” he mouths at the apparition, voice too tired and hoarse from screaming to speak properly. Not-Tommy laughs, and the sound is so similar to Tommy he almost thinks that his desperate prayers have been answered, Tommy is there again, but he reached his fingers forward and they go through his tired hallucination.

“You’re a real dick, you know that?” Not-Tommy says, and laughs again. “But I know you mean the best.” Dream shrugs his shoulder at the fake, and then curls up, new waves of pain curling up his arm.

“I don’t know why I was ever friends with that bastard.” Not-Tommy lies, and Dream wants to believe it. “You’re just having fun. He’s cruel.” Tommy would never understand that clear distinction, no matter how much Dream explained it, but the fake said it with such conviction it was almost enough for Dream to fall for it.

“When you get out, I’ll be there, Dream. And then we can all be a big happy family,” Not-Tommy says, the thoughts so obviously Dream's and not Tommy’s but- the idea that Tommy understood, that he saw sense, was so tempting, Dream allowed himself to believe it, just for a second. Just until the pain started anew.

Broken and bloody, Dream drifted into unconsciousness with a smile on his face.

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emmys-grimoire · 3 years

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Lesson 57 analysis + 58 predictions

It's less exciting than anticipated, probably.

tl;dr Summary

We start asleep, but overhearing Satan + Belphegor plotting to prank us. You can choose how to surprise and foil them. They're just here to tell you breakfast is ready. Belphegor finally rewards you with the star of diligence: MC is one star away from completing the exam and earning their sorcerer's license.

Lucifer is eager to make MC a full-fledged sorcerer because he could use them to ward off Solomon's advances, which apparently he's still making. Asmo tells us that Solomon is very picky, and driven, when he's choosing who to pact with.

And he's apparently very adamant about getting Lucifer.

The others note that Mammon and Leviathan are acting unusual, and they clearly are very distracted. We decide to ignore the strangeness for now and answer Barbatos's summons to Hotel Corvo.

And guess who is also being summoned!

We arrive, and Diavolo informs us that there's an evil phantom now haunting the hotel. Not just any ol' phantom, though: a bogeyman.

Apparently they're pretty tough and might have the upperhand against demons. They take the form of what their victims' fear most. They put several hotel guests in the hospital.

We find out that the reason why Mammon and Leviathan are being so weird is because they know they're responsible for the bogeyman being in Hotel Corvo: they went wild with Crowe upgrades and summoned it accidentally, then ordered Crowe to teleport it to Hotel Corvo after it transformed into Lucifer and scared them out of their wits.

Obviously, Lucifer's not happy! Barbatos assigns him to "fix" the problem. The brothers want to leave Mammon and Leviathan to do it on their own, but of course we can't have that.

Diavolo also seems keen on joining, but Barbatos turns on the scary fake smile and Diavolo relents.

Then the others show up! It sounds like it wasn't a planned get-together, but Solomon is eager to make the best of it. He wants to make our quest to banish the bogeyman MC's final trial.

Simeon is initially reluctant, but MC convinces him to join.

And then we're off down a creepy hallway in the hotel. The lesson ends on a cliffhanger as the creature at the end of the hallway suddenly attacks us.

Don't worry, Lucy will save us, probably.

This is the start of the trial of humility.

Analysis

Barbatos's Plan

Probably the most noteworthy thing about this lesson is how clearly Barbatos is setting all this up, even though he has no visibly obvious motivation to do so. He's summoned everyone to the same location under different auspices and he's making sure Diavolo isn't around. We still didn't get any insight on what he and Lucifer talked about, but I think Lucifer's being deliberately steered by him in this direction, too.

Since this doesn't seem to be something he's coordinating with Solomon, it leads me to believe he's either doing something to foil Michael's plan or he's setting up some kind of trap for the guy. For whatever reason, he doesn't want anyone else to catch on just yet.

Simeon's reluctance to stick around and help us is also noteworthy: he probably has Michael plans on the brain, and his intuition is probably trying to warn him. Alas, he can't say no to you.

Also, the BG being a bunch of doors and keys probably means something. Barbatos's room has multiple doors which lead to multiple places, I think: can't remember if they're just portals to different parts of the three realms or different points in time, but if I was a betting gal, I'd put my money on the latter. It doesn't look like his room (it looks like an old hotel), but I wouldn't be surprised if these doors lead to "flashbacks" similar to the ones we ran into back in the fake House of Lamentation.

The Bogeyman and Lucy's fears

It's implied that the bogeyman has powers that may make it difficult for demons in particular to cull. It sounds something an angel might be effective against, though, because Solomon insists Simeon accompany the group just in case "things go south". Though Simeon seems unsure if he can actually be effective against it.

Who do you think is stronger than Simeon, who is an archangel who was once a seraphim? He could just be downplaying his power, too: he's less threatening that way.

The bogeyman also has the ability to take the form of whoever or whatever his victim fears the most: we discover that Mammon and Leviathan fear Lucifer the most when they initially summon it.

This trial is 100% going to involve Lucifer facing what he fears the most. My guesses: it'll be either Father or Michael. They can do the former if MC doesn't necessarily see the same form Lucifer sees (they likely fear something different)... but if whatever form the bogeyman takes is noticeable to everyone observing it, then it's going to be Michael because I don't think the devs are going to give God a tangible form for reasons.

Why Lucifer could fear Michael? Simple: not only was Michael the one capable of bringing him low during the Great Celestial War, but he may know Lucifer better than anyone. All his strengths, but more importantly, all his weaknesses. Lucifer fears being exposed as flawed and imperfect, particularly by those he considers his lessers. It's also not the first time he's expressed something akin to fear re: Michael.

Another possibility is Lilith. He could fear facing her after failed to protect her. That'd be difficult to manage on-screen, though, for obvious reasons. They haven't given Lilith a canon appearance yet and it's in their best interest not to because they've been using MC as the Lilith expy in the Celestial Realm flashbacks.

Whoever or whatever it is, it'll be fun.

Solomon and his pacts

Another thing this lesson did was remind us that Solomon really, really wants a pact with Lucifer. We found out a couple lessons ago that his whole motivation behind forging a pact with Asmo was his interest in Lucifer.

Up until this point, Solomon has been pretty upfront with his desires and usually backs down when they deny his request to make a pact. He asked Belphegor back in Season 1, and he hasn't brought it up again after he was rejected.

This doesn't seem to be the case with Lucifer, though. His rejections have been ignored.

He's being unusually cavalier about this whole situation so maybe he would try to manipulate the current situation to wring a pact out of Lucifer, since he hasn't been deterred yet and something needs to change in order for him to get what he wants.

I don't know. Lucifer might be his blind spot, and something he wants badly enough to step over the line, so to speak. Why he wants Lucifer so bad is another head scratcher, but it could very well be because just because the guy is incredibly powerful.

Or this is just another red herring meant to make us suspicious of Solomon again. I guess we'll see.

Predictions

We have only three lessons left, and they set this lesson up as the lead into the climax, which is going to be later than where it was in season 2. But it can't afford to happen much later. 58 will give us the first half of the climax at least, and I won't be surprised if it wraps it up entirely in one lesson so we can have both 59 and 60 to say our goodbyes. It'll feel pretty rushed otherwise.

Michael's showing up in some capacity. I'm much more willing to bet on a face reveal now than I was at the beginning of the season: we haven't heard anything from him directly since the first flashback -- not even another chat -- and he hasn't even officially introduced himself yet. But we've been hearing all about him this season, and they've made it a point to let us know he's working on something behind the scenes. It feels like most of this season was softening the ground for his arrival, and he'll drop in to get us hyped for the next season.

I think we're headed back to the Celestial Realm, baby!

Luke's not with us at the haunted hotel, so he'll likely remain oblivious about what happened during the Great Celestial War until next season. Simeon's not gonna fall because he'll probably need to be our tour guide, and we have a bunch to explore about his background, too.

I was hoping we'd get some kind of conflict with the Sorcerer's Society as a part of the completion of the exam but I'm not sure if they can fit all that in now. Kind of disappointing: trying to smooth things over with them sounds much more interesting than Mammon + Levi just letting out a literal boogeyman. I don't think they're using their story themes as effectively as they could be. It's just Levi's tech going awry again, like it always does.

How I'll rate this season will depend entirely on what the climax actually turns out to be, but so far I'd rank it higher than season 2 but lower than season 1 because of the re-used tropes. Stop teasing us and just give us meaty conflict already.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me lesson 57 #obey me lesson 58 #obey me lucifer #obey me solomon #obey me barbatos #obey me michael #obey me simeon #obey me season 3 #obey me spoilers #analysis

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inkblotclouds · 3 years

Text

some things to know!

Hi lovebugs! I’m Liz, and I figured it was about time I shared my clownery with the masses. I’m super new to this, so please know everything here is subject to change if I find I’ve done something catastrophically wrong, but until then:

What will I be posting?

Alas, left to my own devices, I am far from a consistent writer. I tend to get sporadic bursts of inspiration out of nowhere. But if I should find myself typing up something coherent, this is where I’ll put it! I write a lot of original content and characters, but I do also do fan pieces! The main fandoms I am currently drifting through are:

Omori

Dimension 20

Genshin Impact

Here’s the super fun thing though!! Usually, my long dry spells of writing are due to a lack of inspiration. The solution? Strangers on Tumblr, of course! :D

All about suggestions and requests!

If you have something you want written, go ahead and shoot me a request! Are you currently interested in the same things I am? Amazing! Looking for ship or spinoff content from one of those things? Great! Want me to write a one-off with your very own OC in a canon universe? No problem! Give me as many details as you can about what you’re looking for and I’ll go for it, be it a well-known piece of media or your original ideas.

Even if you don’t see your favorite fandom on the list, you can definitely send me a message inquiring about it! It’s very possible that even something I don’t have listed above will be something on which I have enough knowledge to write.

Guidelines Pt. 1: Hard and fast rules

I will not write about:

Anything NSFW or explicit. Ever.

This includes anything intended to be for the purpose of a kink or fetish.

Abusive and toxic relationships and situations.

In regards to fandoms, anything that directly conflicts with the media’s canon.

I feel like this should go without saying, but since I know it does not: I will not write for ship pairings that are minor x adult, inc*st, etc.

Highly graphic content of any kind.

I will not write for (fandoms + tropes):

Yandere characters in any capacity

Harry Potter

MCYT/Dream SMP

Youtube content creators (Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, etc.)

Proshippers are not welcome here, and anyone found to support proshipping will be immediately blocked. The same applies for homophobia, racism, transphobia, and anything along those lines. Get the hell off my page.

Be patient with me. I’m doing this for fun, and I will not be setting myself any defined schedule or hard deadlines. I have a life outside of writing, and real-life struggles of my own.

I reserve the right to refuse any request for any reason.

Guidelines Pt. 2: Heavily encouraged

Regardless of what you’re requesting, give me as many details as you possibly can, as it will help me immensely and make sure you’re getting the closest thing possible to your vision. These include but are definitely not limited to:

Plot outline

Specific scenes you want included

Character personalities (the more in-depth the better!)

Character appearances

Tropes you want to invoke/subvert

Please give me at least one sentence of prompting to work with. It’s likely that I will ignore requests that have no information beyond “angry [character]” or are generally very unclear/vague.

If requesting an x reader, specify a specific gender for the reader if you intend to have one! If a gender is not given I will write the reader as gender neutral.

As of now, I think that’s all! Please feel free to interact at any time--the one thing I will ask specifically is to not send me things that are sexual in any capacity. Doing so will end in you being blocked. But if you have questions or want to chat or know my opinions about writing, about anime, about OCs, about anything, I promise I don’t bite! Usually.

Farewell for now! I hope to see you soon :)

#i dearly wish i had one (1) clue what i was doing #please send me things #it makes me feel special #writing #fandom #fanfiction #original fiction #writing requests

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fascination-street-writing · 4 years

Text

Jumping on Someone Else’s Train | Narancia Ghirga x GN!Reader

His is the face of the one who lost everything, found everything, and lost it all again.

A Canon Divergence AU, in which Narancia does not follow Bucciarati on the boat in Venezia

- 200 Follower Giveaway Piece I for @vergissmeinnnicht -

Content Warnings: Regret, Angst, Mentions of Alcoholism, & Mentions of Other Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

Men and women clad in suits of varying styles and colors stand along the proscenium of the tracks, waiting for the first wave of commuter trains from Venezia. With thoughts of unfinished reports, soccer practices, and uncertainties of whether to have spaghetti alle vongole or ai ricci for dinner, no one pays heed to the three battered teenagers seated just behind the line – who, mind you, certainly ought to be in school.

To your left, Fugo fumes; and yet, despite his ever-apparent anger, there is unbounded despondency in his violet eyes. Despondency indeed, perhaps for the mutual decision of yours and his, or otherwise, because of Bucciarati’s blasphemy. Although, you suppose that you cannot fault your former Capo. He has always had a proclivity for saving undesirables – yourselves, included. But his kindness is not your own.

To your right, Narancia leans over and slouches, clutching his head between two hands that have not yet healed from his scuffle with the first man of the assassination team. You cannot help but to notice that several of the crackling scabs have been picked open. You regret deeply that you had not offered to run Trish’s errands with the black-haired boy. And, though he will not admit it, as does Fugo.

The sound of a shoe tapping against the concrete flooring would be irksome to you if it were anyone other than Narancia’s doing. You cannot decide if he is merely growing impatient for the train to arrive, or rather, unequivocally conflicted about what has transpired within the past hour. A shuddering breath slips past his lips, expelling as his shoulders begin to quake. He might never forgive you for letting him snivel in public.

Gently, you place your hand on his back. Narancia stills at your touch and allows his own to fall from his reddened cheeks. Reluctantly so, he meets your concerned gaze. He fears he might disintegrate into nothing more than bones if you keep looking at him this way – like you adore and loathe him all the same.

You speak his name softly, reminiscent of some kind of lullaby that his mother might have sung to him during his early adolescence. “We need you to be here,” you tell him.

His nod is an automatic response. He contemplates the bluntness of your words, understanding well enough that they have sprung from a good heart. You have become more like Bucciarati, he thinks; your pension for austerity in love rivals his, to be sure. Narancia swallows and nods once more. “I’m here,” he insists.

He would wince at the cracking of his voice if you had turned away sooner. You pull your hand back and rest it atop your leg, curling your fingers into the threadwork of your pants. “Stay with us, then.”

The rotors of the train squeal as the machinery lulls to a stop. In truth, you would never like to board another train for as long as you should live. But this is not a luxury you can afford.

“Now boarding from Stazione di Venezia Santa Lucia to Napoli Centrale. Total travel time – seven hours and thirty-nine minutes. First stop: Ferrara.”

Within the compartment of the train, Fugo sits beside you and pours over a bit of reading that he had swiped from a kiosk before embarking. Narancia determines that the book the younger boy reads must be painfully dreadful, or implausibly wonderful. His brow furrows, as if deeply embedded in his own thoughts, but his fingers never bend to turn the page.

A quivery sigh escapes as you stare from the window, appearing to be as bored as ever. The Italian countryside passes by in blurs of likewise colored landscapes. Narancia wonders how it is that you can tell the difference between a vineyard and a farm against the speed of travel. Or maybe you cannot, though you try to anyways.

You stifle a yawn, finally succumbing to the exhaustion that has accumulated over the past several days. And yet, despite it all, you are still living. Narancia feels his own jaw beginning to twitch, and his mind drifts elsewhere, to the interlude of youth before life with Bucciarati became quite so complicated; good thoughts to keep him grounded amidst the unrest of divided loss.

As it were, he remembers the day when he first met you as if it were yesterday. Before Mista, Abbacchio, and certainly Giorno – back when the two of you, Fugo, and Bucciarati made for the greatest family whom he had ever known. The only other time Narancia has ever seen such strain upon your face was when Bucciarati took you into his home, still clothed in street-rags and muddied shoes. You had not even joined Passione yet; their then eighteen-year-old leader had acted of his own volition to take you in. He always has had a way of saving people.

Narancia knows your strife as if it is his own. Your mother died and your father neglected you; you took to thievery and pickpocketing to find whatever you needed to spend a night without an empty stomach. It was only a matter of time until, provoked by the unfortunate solidarity of utter hurt, you had clicked with the two boys.

But it was not always this way.

In truth, your eagerness to snub the boy is, of some emotional gravity, debilitating. He has always believed friendship to be deserving of the highest value of any other virtue in life. When you observe his struggles to solve seemingly simple math equations during tutoring sessions, with such an unreadable look on your face, he dreads that your hesitation has born itself from an aura of superiority that you harbor against him. The moment you turn away as Fugo’s chastisement rains upon him, he wonders how he might ever be good enough to earn your favor when he cannot be good enough for himself.

When he speculates his plan to befriend you, he thinks without fail that it must be the most brilliant little scheme in the world. Narancia begins by buying you a chocolate bar from the corner store down the street, because what peer of your age does not like chocolate? By the time he has returned home, it has begun to melt in his pocket. He hopes you will not mind, and if you do, he has already decided that he will go back and purchase a second one – cognizant to carry it instead, rather than stuffing it in his corduroys.

To his chagrin, you turn your nose up at the creased, seeping parcel. “I hate sweets,” you tell him with a heavy insistence and no succeeding explanation or defense. Never mind that he had caught you sneaking cake from the kitchen last night when you thought everyone else had gone to bed.

Alas, his resolve is strong. He supposes that it was wrong of him to assume that you would indulge in a chocolate bar, because it is simply not the same thing as cake. During an astronomy lesson with Fugo, a fetching optimism takes over. That evening, he forgoes dinner to sweep the terracotta roof of dead leaves and earthly dust. He rummages through his closet for the softest blanket he owns – blue gingham that had once belonged to his mother.

He runs into you in the hallway on his way to your bedroom; budding with courage, he asks if you would care to watch the stars with him on the rooftop, because the window in his room leads right to the widow’s walk. You roll your eyes and turn away, muttering, “Constellations make me dizzy.” But did you not tell Bucciarati in passing yesterday just how much you love searching for the little dipper when the night skies are forgiving?

Narancia’s spur is beginning to wane, though he cannot blame you. Perhaps he has been reading you wrong. He simply has not pinpointed your interests – that is all. Flipping through the channels of the television, he stumbles upon a culinary program of an older man demonstrating how to prepare bucatini alla carbonara. Struck with inspiration, the boy rushes to the market for pancetta, parmesan, and dried pasta; he has never quite had the patience for making fresh dough, so he settles for pre-packed bucatini. Surely, you will understand.

And so, he leads you into the kitchen with a grin on his face. While pointing to the array of ingredients on the counter, he asks you to lend a hand and to help him prepare dinner. You are all in need of a reprieve from Il Libeccio. “I don’t like cooking,” you say, disinterested. It surely must have been a ghost who prepared the rigatoni al pesto on this past domenica, then.

Narancia does not have high hopes when he extends to you the offer of catching the movie Panni Sporchi in the theater with Fugo and he. His crushed spirits know better by now. But it never hurts to try.

You set down whatever magazine you have snatched from the corner store and cock an eyebrow. “Comedies aren’t my thing,” you utter. “They’re not even that funny. Besides, they’re just poor imitations of life. So are romances. And dramas. Thrillers – horrors . . . Actually, I hate movies.”

He bears it with a curt nod, choosing to ignore that you had held a private viewing of Auguri Professore in the living room yesterday. His head tells him that you do not wish to be his friend, amongst other things – but his heart insists that one day, you will.

It is by chance that he should wake up this night with the irrepressible urge to use the bathroom. On his way back, skin still damp from the sink, Narancia tiptoes along the embroidered vines of the carpet. It is a solitary game he only partakes in when no one is around to question his antics. When he hears a hiccup, he surmises that he has been caught. His sock-clad feet sink into the floor as he stills and prepares himself for whatever beratement is sure to follow. Instead, there is only another gasp for breath.

No, not a hiccup, he notices: it is the sound of grief that came from your bedroom. With little regard to your privacy, he peaks his head through the cracked door.

“What are you doing, Narancia?” you demand as you wipe the back of your nose and hoist the blankets – wetted by your tears – up to your shoulders. “Get out of my room.”

In this moment, it is as if the clouds have parted and clarity canvases the sky. All this time, he truly was enough for you – it was you who was not adequate for yourself. And here you are, curled up in your bed with swollen eyes that beg him to stay even though you had told him otherwise. You are tormented by bad memories that ought to be shed like snakeskin.

Narancia steps forward. “I just wanted to tell you, uh, it’s okay to cry,” he says with a certain tenderness that seems so unfamiliar to you. He rubs the back of his neck, averting your gaze. “Even if you don’t think so.”

You gawk at him and say nothing, for words have failed you. The silence is deafening, all the same. It is an audacious move, but he smiles to you – a gesture of compassion – before turning to leave. He has overstayed his welcome, and your unrelenting stare does not make him feel any better.

“Wait.” He stops, anticipating your delayed retaliation. “Could you . . . Can you spend the night with me?”

As he lies in bed next to you, distance kept by a pillow wedged between your bodies, Narancia beams – but you cannot see outline of his grin in the darkness of the room. This night and many more will pass, and you slowly become something of a beacon. He is beholden to you, because you make him feel appreciated in the ways that not even Fugo or Bucciarati can. For this reason, he will always cherish you – a talisman encapsulated within a friend.

And now, though the seeds of regret have already begun to spring roots within him – hyacinths embedded in his heart –, he will stay strong, for you are like a pharos to him. If not resiliency for his own sake, then certainly yours.

At least, for as long as he can.

“Hey, Narancia.” Startled, he jumps in his seat and clasps his knees tightly. “Is there something on my face?” you ask.

“I – Huh?” he stumbles over any response that might have come to mind. “What do you mean?”

You chuckle. “Well, it’s just that you’ve been staring at me for the past ten minutes.”

“Uh . . . I . . .”

Fugo drags his gaze from his book to your face. “I don’t see anything,” he assures with a shrug. “Actually, come to think of it, I think your nose has gotten bigger.”

The banter of humor between you and Fugo is lost on the black-haired boy. Or rather, he is far too distracted to mimic it. He stands from his seat abruptly and reaches for the door to the compartment. “I have to piss,” he mutters.

He is gone before either of you can comment on his sudden brashness. In his absence, you nudge Fugo and gesture towards his book; just as Narancia had noted, you realize that your strawberry blonde friend has not gotten past the first page of the novel ever since you had departed. You left nearly an hour ago.

“My head is just elsewhere, I guess,” he confesses to your proclamation. He closes the book and sets it down on the seat. “I’m fine, though. As much as I can be. But Narancia isn’t.”

You hum in agreeance. “I’ll go check on him.”

Water rushes from the faucet and pools in the porcelain, ceramic bowl of the basin. Steam wafts towards the ceiling, blanketing the mirror in a cloud. Narancia’s fingers curl around the rim of the sink so tightly that the coloring flees from his knuckles. He feels like a phantom, for a part of him has surely died back in Venezia.

In another world, he imagines that he might have followed Bucciarati – as would have you and Fugo. But this is nothing more than a nonsensical thought that can never be anything more than an instance of intangible pondering. He does not wipe the fog from the mirror, because he cannot bear the sight of the boy who will greet him in return.

His is the face of the one who lost everything, found everything, and lost it all again. His stomach churns and his head whirls with aches. He has never been the type of person to boast of his character; it takes a humble attitude to realize that there is nothing special about oneself – until there is. Truly, Narancia once believed that he was a proper man, because he worked for someone as virtuous as the young Capo, whose confidence bred itself and more.

“I guess I’m not much of one now,” Narancia mumbles aloud with a sigh of vexation. “Not like Mista, Abbacchio . . . or Giorno.”

He taps the tip of his shoe against the linoleum floor. As it were, his socialization into Passione – no, into Bucciarati’s squad – has taught him the moral necessities of defending the weak who cannot otherwise safeguard nor vindicate themselves. Betraying him is a dreadful regret. How can he ignore the voice in his head that affirms his folly and tells him that he is no better for abandoning Trish in all her temperamental, vain ways, either?

When the sound of knuckles rapping against the door startles him from his thoughts, his first impulse is to lash out at whoever has disrupted his mind chamber of self-reflection. “Hey, can’t you read, idiota?” he demands, angrily. “Bathroom’s occupied.”

“Narancia, it’s just me.” The scowl on his face falters as he recognizes your voice. He turns the squealing faucet until it has dried. He does not stop to catch his staggered breaths before opening the door, and perhaps he should have. Even though you have become such close companions, you still make him feel like a child under your anatomizing gaze – as if there is something particularly interesting about him after all, which takes him for a good subject of study.

Your look of concern is jarring. For a moment, it is difficult to breathe, and he wishes he had tried to calm himself first. So much for staying strong for them. You step forward and lock the sliding door behind you. If it were anyone else – even Fugo – the proximity of your body to his might have made him uneasy. You drag a finger through the film of steam on the mirror. “I’m going to ask you something,” you begin to say, “and I’d like you to answer me, honestly. Are you alright?”

He chokes up at your words, because yes – he is perfectly fine; healthy, albeit a bit battered still from his fracas with Formaggio. As soon as he manages to stop himself from instigating the scabs on his knuckles, they will heal, and he will be left with nothing more than pink scar-tissue as an everlasting memento of these past few days.

But, in other contingencies of prosperity, he is unequivocally not alright. Against his better sense of control, his eyes well up with tears, and his cognition scatters.

“Narancia?”

There are many things that a person indulges in as a means of coping, some safer than others. Men fall to the bottle, like Abbacchio – and men lash out in violent rages, such as Fugo. He could keep picking at his scabs, find an emptied compartment to scream in, or pull out his unkempt hair. Contrition moves through him like a venom, and he supposes he should find a way to suck it out before it kills him.

His hands meet your arms in a shockingly gentle, clammy grasp; he jerks himself closer and suddenly, his lips are on your own and he is kissing you. His teeth scrape against your own and he pulls you flush, as if he cannot get close enough to you already, desperate to suffocate the detrimental notions running through him. Stunned and too preoccupied with dwelling on the sweet taste of his mouth, you have forgotten how to reciprocate.

You break apart and shrug the grip on your arms, unsure of what to say as his desperate indigo ogling gauges you for a reaction – whether you should berate him or express your equal adoration, anything is preferable than the silence. “I . . . I’m sorry,” he finally says when you have not.

“It’s fine,” you insist, an unreadable poignancy sweeping your face. “You can do it again, if you need to. I don’t mind.”

He must have heard you wrong; surely, you did not give him such a blessing as this. And yet, when he cups your jaw and meets your lips halfway, you do not shove him off. Instead, you repay the gesture and swipe your tongue along his own. His heart sings for you, like a schoolboy’s choir: thank you, thank you, thank you. You swear that your legs have become melting gold, for they quiver and you can no longer stand on your own.

Or maybe it is because the train has lurched forward. Despite the separation of your lips, Narancia catches you in arms that harbor unassuming strength, but make you feel guarded, all the same. It is strange, you reflect: he has always been something of a haven to you, ever since the night when you had cast aside all hesitations of welcoming him into your circle and did exactly that.

“I just want you to know that everything will be okay,” you tell him – about the kiss, about the train, or about your shared regrets, he does not know. No matter the intent, he enjoys listening to your voice. “You aren’t alone in this, Nara. We both made the decision to leave. You don’t have to suffer on your own, because I feel just as guilty, too.”

He frowns.

“Besides, we have all we need. You, me, and Fugo. I’m glad you’re here, you know; I couldn’t do this without you.” He hastily wipes away the tears that trickle down his cheeks. Stop crying, he sneers to himself. Stop it, stop it, stop it. You pull his frantic hand away from his reddened face and lace your fingers with his, so that he might not try it again. “It’s okay to cry, even if you don’t think so.”

He blooms and comes undone, sobbing into the crook of your neck and clasping your shirt so tightly that the spooling contorts and wrinkles. You trace shapes against his back, creasing the leather with your nails. Slow, tentative, and soft. He wishes to stay like this forever, bathroom or not – just so long as he has you.

While Narancia straightens himself and splashes fresh water upon his face, you wait for him at the door. He hesitates to follow you back to the compartment, because he can lose himself to grief exactly where he is without repercussion. You know this well, and so you extend your arm for him to take with a sense of hushed encouragement. His fingers meet yours, only this time, it is not to stop him from swiping at his face until his skin is raw. “We should check on Fugo, yeah?” you suggest.

“Yeah . . .”

Down the corridor, he trails behind you like a lost stray to his savior. In a way, that is exactly what you are, he thinks. And he will forever be grateful for it. It is not until you have returned to the strawberry blonde that Narancia lets his grasp fall from yours. You return to your seats, and Fugo offers his own attempt at a smile to you each. His book lies in his lap, untouched and unmoved.

“So, Fugo.” You drag out his name, as if deep in thought. “Did you get past the first page yet?”

| 3704 Words |

#narancia ghirga x reader #narancia x reader #narancia ghirga #jjba reader insert #jjba x reader

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cinderstorm · 3 years

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Hello I hope this doesnt sound like a pushy request and You can ignore this if you want. But I really liked Of Crowns And Daggers and Reversal Of Fate in the past. I was wondering if You were willing to disclose what direction you were going to go with it? I understand if You dont want to write it. Thanks and I wish you happiness

Not pushy at all, don't worry--it's been a bit since I've been in the TRC fandom, but I'll try to answer as best I can.

So I don't know that I necessarily had a specific direction in mind for Reversal of Fate. It was one of my very earliest fics, and while I thought it was a fun concept to switch Sakura and Syaoran's roles in the story, I definitely bit off more than I could chew with the premise. Most likely, I would have stuck fairly close to the overarching story while also exploring different worlds so as not to retread canon too directly. (This is personal preference, but I get bored of fics that stick too close to the script. Not shaming anyone--I just think that if you're changing something major, like "Who is the main character?", that should have, like, meaningful implications for the direction of the story). Alas, I think the issue with Reversal of Fate was that I just didn't have the skill to follow through on those big story changes in an interesting way. It's possible I could manage it now, but it would be a major undertaking, and I just don't have the time/energy to commit to making another attempt at it.

As for Of Crowns and Daggers, that's a more interesting question. That fic, I began with a fairly good idea of how long it would be and how it would act as a bridge between the Acid Tokyo and Infinity arcs. Essentially, I wanted it to address some of the trauma that was left unresolved in canon. It's implied in the manga that there's a timeskip between these two arcs, during which the group managed to develop some semblance of cooperation and trust after the devastation of Acid Tokyo. But there would still have been a pretty harsh adjustment period before they reached that equilibrium, during which everyone would be dealing with the trauma of Clone!Syaoran's betrayal (among other things). So, as for where the story was going when I abandoned it . . . well. Here are a few points I had hoped to address:

First, let's talk about Kurogane's distrust of Syaoran. This issue, while not the main focus of the story, is arguably the narrative's most important conflict. Kurogane is mistrustful of Syaoran's motives, as well as Syaoran's commitment to the group's overall goals (retrieving Sakura's memories/defeating FWR). He has good reasons for his wariness, but he doesn't initially deal with those feelings productively. This further widens the rift between him and Syaoran, exacerbating Syaoran's feelings of isolation, which leads Syaoran to more intensely pursue Ryuuo's affections, which, in Kurogane's mind, further calls into question Syaoran's loyalties.

Resolving this cycle of distrust and isolation would have involved several things. First, Kurogane would have had to recognize that Syaoran's avoidant behavior was rooted in his feelings of isolation/guilt, rather than in something more nefarious. Fortunately, this is fairly easy to accomplish. All I'd have needed to do was have Kurogane catch Syaoran in a moment of genuine vulnerability, at which point Kurogane (being both ridiculously perceptive and surprisingly empathetic) would have realized all of Syaoran's "suspicious" behavior was actually Syaoran's way of coping with the knowledge that these people he'd come to care for so deeply during his imprisonment all resented/distrusted him for taking Clone!Syaoran's place. Once that moment of realization occurs, Kurogane would unbend enough to apologize, and Syaoran would finally have someone to lean on once the group moves onto the next world in their journey.

Then there's the matter of how I planned to resolve the plot. Keeping in mind that outlines can change as the story is written, here's my rough plan for the last few chapters:

1. Sakura and Syaoran successfully advance through the second round of the trials, relying heavily on Sakura's luck to do so. Syaoran exhibits some unhealthy self-sacrificing behavior, electing to take the brunt of the shock collar treatment in an effort to spare Sakura pain (but also as a sort of self-inflicted punishment, because he's a mess).

2. After the trial, they return to the rest of the group. Kurogane and Fai are both worried over Syaoran's health, but Syaoran, mired in his own guilt and belief that he's unworthy of their concern, misses this development entirely and goes off looking for Ryuuo.

3. Ryuuo is notably absent from the gambling house. Syaoran is disappointed but not worried . . . yet. The group returns to their temporary lodgings for the night.

4. The group returns early the next day for the final trial. Syaoran looks for Ryuuo while they wait, growing anxious when Ryuuo is still nowhere to be found.

5. The leader of the gambling house where all this is taking place announces that they have a special pre-trial Spectacle for the audience this evening. Syaoran is only half paying attention, preoccupied with his worries over Ryuuo. He's debating whether or not to ask the others for help searching when it's revealed that the person "performing" in the Spectacle tonight is none other than Ryuuo. Syaoran realizes that Ryon must be behind this, as Ryuuo had no unpaid debts or other issues that would lead to him being forced to participate in the Spectacle. But it's too late to do anything about it.

6. The Spectacle begins. Ryuuo enters from one side of the arena, armed only with a dagger, clearly terrified. Then the portcullis on the other side of the arena opens up, revealing a starving lion, which Ryuuo now has to fight.

7. Syaoran realizes Ryuuo will very likely die if he doesn't intervene. Kurogane tries to stop him from jumping into the arena, but Syaoran wrenches himself free and drops down onto the sand next to Ryuuo. Ryuuo is shocked to see him and afraid that they're both going to die, but Syaoran is all business and moves to distract the lion so Ryuuo can come at it from the side.

8. Together, Ryuuo and Syaoran manage to slay the lion, but not before the lion tears into Ryuuo's leg with her claws. Syaoran calls out in horror, moving to assist, but it's a dire wound.

9. Kurogane drops down into the pit to pull Syaoran away from the scene. Syaoran is too numb to resist, and the gambling house's medical team carries the barely-wounded Ryuuo away to be treated (note: although participating the Spectacle is often deadly for its participants, surviving a performance there officially wipes out your debts/conflicts with the gambling house. Since Ryuuo was technically victorious, his status as an ordinary patron has been restored, meaning he's entitled to medical care).

10. Several hours pass. Ryuuo's condition remains unstable. Syaoran and Kurogane finally have an honest conversation in which Syaoran confesses his feelings of guilt and isolation and Kurogane admits he was wrong to treat Syaoran as he did. It's a painful conversation in many ways, but by the end of it, Syaoran realizes that he's not alone, and that the others do care what happens to him.

11. Shortly thereafter, one of the nurses comes to inform them that Ryuuo's condition has stabilized. However, his long-term prognosis remains uncertain, due to risk of infection/consequences of blood loss/etc.

12. Although the final trial has been delayed due to the unusual circumstances surrounding the Spectacle, the leader of the gambling house is only willing to put things on hold for so long. Syaoran reluctantly leaves Ryuuo's bedside to compete in the final trial (the details are a little fuzzy here--I never did come up with a good third trial to round out the story). Eventually, Sakura and Syaoran end up facing Souma and her partner in the final round. They converse briefly in between plays. Souma mentions the one other time she saw someone intercede during a Spectacle. It doesn't take long for Syaoran to realize she's talking about Yuzuriha and Kusanagi. Syaoran recalls that this was the event that made Ryuuo determined to change things, to put a stop to the Spectacles and similar practices. Souma smiles sadly and laments Ryuuo's idealism, saying it's only ever brought him heartache.

13. It's a close game. As it comes down to the final exchange, Syaoran looks at his cards and realizes that even with Sakura's luck, he doesn't have a good enough hand to give them a decent shot of winning. Souma recognizes this as well, informing him he has a tell. There's a pause. A breath. Souma and her partner share a glance. Then, Souma lays her cards face-down on the table and rises from her chair, forfeiting the game and leaving Sakura and Syaoran victorious. (This is framed both as a kindness toward Syaoran and as an act of defiance against the oppressive system this game represents).

14. Denouement: The TRC gang receive their prize (one of Sakura's feathers) from the tournament. Sakura absorbs the feather, falling unconscious as she often does when her memories are being restored. While she rests, Syaoran returns to Ryuuo's bedside, where he relays the details of the final trial to a still-comatose Ryuuo. Syaoran reflects on Souma's choice to forfeit the match, as well as on his own relationship with Ryuuo. Here, the major thematic elements of the story are explained and resolved. There is a sense of Syaoran letting go and moving on, this time with a little more hope for the future.

15. As Syaoran's monologue winds down, Ryuuo stirs. They share a few tender words. Ryuuo is grateful to Syaoran for saving him. Syaoran is grateful to Ryuuo for being kind to him when he needed it most. Afterward, Syaoran reluctantly admits that it's nearly time for him to leave for his next adventure. Ryuuo, being Ryuuo, offers him some words of support and makes him promise that they'll meet again someday. Syaoran agrees, and they part ways.

16. Possible Epilogue: Some years later, after his journey with Sakura has ended, Syaoran arrives once more in this world, which has changed dramatically in the time he's been gone. The corrupt rulers of the Upper City have been replaced by a less greedy ruling council, headed by Souma, and the brutal practices of the Spectacle have been banned. Syaoran wanders the city for a bit, asking around, and is eventually directed to Ryuuo's new home in the now-flourishing Undercity. The story closes on the image of Ryuuo grinning at Syaoran as they reunite for the first time in nearly a decade.

And . . . that's pretty much all of it. I may have missed some minor details. It's been a long time since I've written for the TRC fandom, despite it being one of my favorites. Heh. This post got a little long, didn't it? Hopefully that answers your question. Thanks for stopping by!

#trc #tsubasa reservoir chro #trc fanfic #kurogane #syaoran #ryuuo #ryuuosyao #of crowns and daggers

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yarrowleef · 4 years

Text

Read Darkness Within all in one sitting last night and then passed out so here are my scattered thoughts i wrote down as i read, (afterthoughts in parenthesis)

Darkness Within Spoilers, obv

UGH GOD THE SECOND HAND EMBARRESMENT FROM SQUIRREL FAKE FLIRTING WITH ASHFUR IT HURTS

Just remembered Sandynose died and got a small boost of happiness (will Hawkwing and Plumwillow ever be allowed to talk again now? I mean probly not b/c they aren’t protags and non-protags don’t rly have friends but I can hope. Sorry, Hawkwhing and Plumwillow’s short-lived friendship in Hawkwings Journey was one of the last times I felt something)

Ghost fleas lol

Mothwing: i’m rude now. (but more importantly, Fuck Tigerheartstar for forcing his son to be around the cat that hurt him so badly, like he HAS to know how upset everyone is regarding Shadowsight and his accidentally helping the imposter, and he’s making him be the sole one to tend to him??? There is NO REASON Puddleshine couldn’t have done it. You think Puddleshine is going to try and murder someone?? )

Oh no don't make this a traveling book, and a ROOTBRISTLE traveling book this is going to be insufferable

BACON AND EGGS

Lightleap Is Good (Hey didn’t Shadowsight have another sister? lets be real we all knew Pouncekit was going to end up as the forgettable 3rd one)

Bristlefrost’s crush continues to feel unnatural to me. It’s like she’s grasping at straws romanticizing the most generic things.....wow....I love how ur just so...bare minimum competent....being polite to the loner we came all this way to ask for help like any somewhat reasonable person would....How admirable...I love the way you just *clenches fist* exhibit some basic traits of loyalty and skill that literally every warrior has (I s2g I’m this close to head canon-ing Bristle as a clueless aromantic who doesn't understand what romance is actually suppose to feel like so she just looks at feelings of low-bar admiration and assumes “oh I guess this is that “romantic attraction” everyone’s always talking about? guess I must be in love???” because both her crushes have felt out of nowhere and like. Idk fake/forced sounding like she’s just telling me that that she’s In Love Now while I continue to not actually feel it at all from her end. I know it’s just that I hate the way Erin’s write female characters in love but this head-canon makes me laugh)

Got scared because I thought they were going to villainize Spotfur for not wanting kits for a minute, but also excited at the concept of maybe exploring a female character that doesn’t want to be a mother, but it turns out she was just pulling a Sparkpelt and actually DID want the kits all along and was only hesitant because she’s sad. Shrug oh well. (the only female character in warriors that was distinctly upset about pregnancy and motherhood was Lizardstripe and as we all know she was eeeeeevil and abusive and “overly ambitious” because why else would you not come around to being happy about motherhood?? YES I’M STILL SALTY ABOUT YELLOWFANG’S SECRET, BAD BOOK) Whatever it’s fine so long as Spot doesn’t lose her rebel leader spirit forever and default to “soft mom” personality for the rest of her life, I gotta have hope because I actually like Bristle and Spot’s current relationship. Also I am actually very grateful they never made Bristle resentful at Spot for getting with her crush, as lots of middle grade/YA media has a very bad habit of demonizing female romantic “competition” and its super gross, so I rly do like that Bristlefrost is so protective and caring towards her instead. )

This series is trying to tell me that Rootspring is actually Big but I refuse to accept that. he has dumb scrawny bitch energy and we all know it

Sunrise: “Thunderclan may be better with a new leader” lol go off (i mean........they right tho...It’s unfortunate that the tension in this whole plot is a bit dampened by the fact that i DO in fact want bramble to die v badly. I don’t even have special hatred for him, I’m just bored of him.)

Yes Lionblaze beat the shit out of Ashfur

*HOLY SHIT THAT’S FUCKED!!!! (I wrote this in reference to the ghost summoning scene, this was all I could manage at the time, that scene was WILD and I am VIBING WITH THE HORROR OF IT ALL)

* Brashfur: Oh yeah? Could Ashfur fake THIS? *stands up with slightly better posture* Shadowsight: oh damn you got me there...... (asdfhhfhhgh im sorry that was really funny, how did that prove anything?? ONLY A ~REAL~ WARRIOR COULD STAND UP STRAIGHT WE ALL KNOW ASHFUR IS INCAPABLE OF GOOD POSTURE!)

End of the book: *LAUGHING NERVOUSLY* WHAT THE FUCK??? (I thought he was just gonna kill Squirrelflight right there holy shit can you imagine the RIOTS that would ensue in the wake of all this Squirrel/Bramble discourse I was so scared for a second.

But it’s fine, she just....went to super hell instead......Warriors has come so far lmao WHAT IS HAPPENING

Final Notes:

*On Mothwing, I don’t think her behavior struck me as “CHARACTER BUTCHERING” as much as it did for other people? I mean.....Warriors fans will say that literally any time a character does ANYTHING less then perfectly nice I think her actions just seemed that much harsher because we are reading from Shadowsight’s POV, and Shadowsight is taking everything 10x more personally right now (understandably so, but Mothwing isn’t inside his head) she wasn’t trying to hurt him. Also... like... Shadowsight DID get his name too early. It’s not Mothwing’s job to put his feelings above everything else, she’s not even his mentor, Puddleshine on the other hand, as his main mentor, I don’t understand what his deal is ignoring Shadowsight, that’s not how you help an apprentice but I suppose I chalk many of his mistakes up to also not being the most experienced medicine cat (he barely even had his own mentor.) Maybe he’s distant because he feels guilty and actually blames himself for not guiding Shadowsight better?? the two of them haven’t communicated about it yet so idk

any way I give Mothwing a pass to be a little short tempered right now as a cat who has had her abilities periodically questioned all her life no matter how hard she works or how much experience she has, just because she doesn’t vibe with the spiritual cult side of the clans, I can understand why she’s a bit defensive of being questioned and frustrated watching so much hurt happen Yet Again due to reliance on StarClan visions over common sense, and I for one still stan her for slandering StarClan and refusing to accept Mistystar’s bullshit banishing like everyone else. Sometimes a character is at the end of their rope and can’t manage to be 100% nice 24/7 and that’s maybe not inherently bad writing? idk just my hot take. At a certain point we all gotta reckon with the fact that our perception of most popular supporting characters in heavily colored by fanon and we can’t always get mad at the authors for not adhering to it

*The sisters magic shit is my fav worldbuilding warriors has had in AGES, I love the way it’s described and it actually feels like it adds something to this world. I love this horror imagery with the ghosts, very excited for that.

*still won’t be thrilled if Ashfur is working alone, because his motive doesn’t make sense right now. I mean the trying to get Squilf thing, sure, whatever, but the “I will make everyone pay for what they did to me”???? cause like?? Who??? they didn’t do anything to him?? Ashfur’s grievance was very specifically JUST Squilf. He has no other cause for revenge, he had no other beef or complaints about the clans to my knowledge? The cat that killed him is dead, and she’s like, the only other one that I could see as having “wronged” him?? I guess he also didn’t like Firestar much according to Graystripe’s Vow (and on account of how willing he was to kill him w/ Hawkfrost) but Firestar is ALSO dead. I don’t understand his angle. Will have to see last 2 books to judge i suppose.

*All in all I am interested to see where this is going!! but also the pacing as I feared is becoming a major issue. It’s better then ending the main conflict on book 3 like Vision of Shadows did, but omg. Hardly anything happened in all these pages. I realized I was over half way through and nothing about the situation had actually CHANGED or advanced at all in all that time. Similar to the past 2 books which I believe could have been combined, this plot felt like it should have been the first half of a book. Discussing whether or not to kill the imposter isn’t much of a standalone plot, it’s just the set up to a plot. Finding the sisters didn’t need to be a whole long thing, the debates about the Imposters fate didn’t need to be repeated 10 times, all those chapters illustrating that “Shadowsight is sad” were also drawn out, repetitive, and interchangeable, we probably only needed 2 or so chapters showing his struggles to get the necessary information across. It felt like a lot of padding, it was really slow and I did a lot of skimming. I am still very interested in the overarching plot and mystery behind the ghosts so that kept me reading but man this “will they won’t they kill him” plot did not justify it’s own whole book. Alas this is a persisting issue that will never be resolved while they continue to force 6 books into 1 series that doesn’t need 6 books. I’m sure the writers are doing the best they can with these unfortunate constraints but still, it’s a wonder this slow padding isn’t more of a detriment to their younger readers that the books are supposed to be marketed to.

#warrior cats #the broken code #darkness within #the darkness within #darkness within spoilers #wc tbc #tbc #is that enough tags #yarrow speaks #wc criticism #long post #the broken code spoilers #warrior cats spoilers

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codename-mango · 4 years

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Clarice's Story - Season 2

I recently finished Clarice's canon route in Season 2, and I'm currently replaying Season 3 to give myself a refresher on Seb and nail down the details of Clarice's story in that Season. So this will have a Part 2, but I want to write out the decisions made that ultimately led to The Least Satisfying Ending of Season 2™, and the reasons behind them that are informed by her past and personality. I know I care more about this than literally anyone, but I'm doing it anyway. So let's get started!

Before the Villa

Raised by Ursula, a famous actress with Antisocial Personality Disorder. She was very loving to Clarice, but wanted her to grow a hard shell like she did.

Ursula gets a participation trophy in parenting for trying her best, but alas, Clarice has severe anxiety that she can't properly express.

Didn't have any friends before going on the show.

Clarice applied for the show with the hope of finding someone nice, though she had very low expectations. She expected all the girls (and fans) to hate her because she went in planning to be ruthless. She was very aware that her mother will be watching, and wanted to make her proud.

Day 1

Friendly to Hope right off the bat - No reason not to be, right?

"I need to look after Number 1." - Clarice isn't underhanded. She tries to be as honest as possible, and this is no exception. The girls need to know where she stands.

"I'm more the quiet and mysterious type." - Outside the Villa, Clarice is much more reserved due to her upbringing.

Picked Noah - He's handsome and doesn't try some cheesy line right off the bat.

Objected to Hope picking him immediately - First day and she's already been screwed over. Her pride is hurt, and she's not going to take this lying down.

Thought Bobby was nice, but there was blatantly no sparks there. He didn't even step forward. She gave him no illusions that she's interested, and flirted with Noah and the other boys at every opportunity. Prioritized grafting over making friends.

However, she welcomed Priya and condemned Lottie for being unnecessarily nasty.

Clarice didn't make any outright enemies except Hope for stealing Noah.

Participated in Lottie's celebration of the Moon - Strategically important to be civil with the girls of course

Day 2

Stayed friendly with Priya, and tried to be with Lottie

Confronted Priya for stealing Bobby - Yeah, she didn't like Bobby herself, but this was the second time she'd had her partner stolen. She was angry and embarrassed.

Day 3

Helped Hannah during breakfast and encouraged her to toughen up - This isn't Friend Island.

Told Rocco to pick her - It wasn't enough to steal Bobby back. She didn't even like him. But there was no chance of getting Noah back from Hope. Rocco was her real second choice on Day 1, and taking him helps her save face.

Told Hannah that Gary won't choose her - She thinks Hannah is totally naive, but has been friendly thus far and respected her couple.

Day 4

"If there's no spark, you've got problems."

Insisted Gary apologizes to Marisol

Grinded on Noah during the Slime Challenge - She's not sure if she's actually interested in him yet, or if she's just trying to piss off Hope.

Spoke up for Priya doing the same thing, and ignores Lottie

Tried to keep the peace between Lottie and Priya, and helps them resolve the issue - It's easier to live in the Villa without needless drama. Clarice's anxiety is hiked up enough as it is.

Day 5

Clarice went down to the pool alone to meet Lucas and Henrik - Why wouldn't she?

While she never cheated on Rocco, she did connect with Lucas like she never had with anyone before. She found him charming and kind and admired his humility despite his obviously posh background.

She definitely suspected Marisol and Rocco having a thing, but hoped he would talk to her about it before acting on it.

Day 6

Clarice was furious about Rocco kissing Marisol during the Kiss and Tell challenge.

She confronted Marisol afterwards, but wasn't aggressive about it. Marisol was by far the girl she's closest to in the Villa at that point. Despite feeling hurt, she wasn't about to ruin the start of a genuine friendship over a man.

Day 7

Worked with Lottie to ice out Rocco, but does agree to speak with him privately.

She was honest about why the girls were upset with him, and unleashed a bit of fury upon him.

Helped Noah win Mr. Love Island - She started to genuinely connect with him and found him very sweet, even though she thought his devotion to Hope was over the top and completely irrational.

Day 8

Extremely worried about the Mean Tweets challenge. She's had more than her fair share of Mean Tweets outside the Villa. She was worried how she came across to the public. She was even worried the producers would throw in one of her mother's.

Oh yeah, Ursula livetweets every episode.

If I had to include one of her tweets in the challenge, it would be:

"It's like Bobby isn't even trying"

She hated that Lucas went home. He was the one person besides Noah that she could see herself having feelings for.

Day 9

Confused by why Lottie wants to get with Gary, but doesn't say anything discouraging. Agrees to not pick him at the next recoupling.

Picked Noah to go on the date - They turn out to have great chemistry, and Clarice was even hopeful that she might be able to choose him at the recoupling.

Clarice fell back on picking Henrik after Hope chose Noah. She didn't see herself with any of the other OG guys.

Day 10

Clarice agreed to work with Priya on Operation Nope - She wanted to be with Noah, and this was the perfect opportunity to really crack on with him. Obviously she knew that Priya fancied him too, but may the best woman win, right?

She didn't tell anyone about ON.

She actually related to Hope acting snappy out of fear, but Hope's insistence on focusing on her rubbed Clarice the wrong way. She tried finding a common ground, and Hope ignored the gesture. She used that as (very poor) justification for...

Clarice kissed Noah. She knew they were having a moment, and went for it. She regretted it after he panicked and left.

Clarice dodged Chelsea's first hug - Why would she want a total stranger touching her without asking?? Though she sort of regrets it in hindsight, because of how close they are now.

"So he's just going to pretend he's innocent then?"

Day 11

She downplayed the severity of Lottie's kiss with Gary - "Hannah only knew him for 3 days." Besides, she's not a hypocrite who would condemn someone else for doing the same thing she did.

Said no to helping Bobby and Marisol resolve the conflicts in the Villa - She didn't trust herself to not make things worse. If things get better, then they'll get better on their own.

Brought Hope the hot chocolate - She knew she was one of the biggest reasons Hope was miserable. They didn't get along, but Clarice never did any of it to hurt Hope. That being said...

She refused to apologize - That's not the kind of woman Ursula raised. She needed to remind herself that she is her Number 1 priority.

Clarice barely interacted with Jakub. He was never her type.

She did apologize to Henrik. She had an obligation to communicate her feelings to him, and didn't. So she apologized. She told him that she fancied Noah and wanted to pursue him, and they broke up.

Bobby was the one to come comfort her and start grafting. She shut it down pretty quickly.

After Marisol asked about it, Clarice told the truth and that she wasn't interested in him. Marisol asked who she is interested in, and she told her Ibrahim just to put a stop to the conversation.

Day 12

Clarice eavesdropped on Noah's conversation with Priya. She was so excited that Noah said he had feelings for her, and that it was all worth it.

No secret of Clarice's was exposed during the Down in Dirt challenge. But if Henrik had opened hers despite her insistence not to, it would've read:

"Clarice was once escorted out of her own great-aunt's pub."

Clarice insisted Priya apologize and make peace with Hope, but refused to back down herself after it came out that Noah wanted to pick her.

"Priya stirring the pot and getting away with it. Can't say I disapprove."

Day 13

Clarice ate the whole cake. Canonically. I don't care, it's one of my favorite parts of the game.

Clarice coupled up with Noah at the Disaster Recoupling.

She was so excited to finally be coupled up with him. She savored every kiss and every touch. That was it for her.

Day 14

Said goodbye to Noah before sneaking off to Casa Amor

The only guy who caught her interest was Kassam, but he clearly wasn't interested, so she never acted on it.

Arjun was basically the leftovers from the other girls, and he seemed like he would be respectful of her space, so Clarice ended up with Arjun for the entirety of Casa Amor. (Even though he didn't give her nearly enough space for her liking.)

Day 15

Clarice didn't volunteer for any extra Villa vs. Villa challenges.

Clarice insisted on remaining loyal to Noah throughout CA.

She enjoyed getting closer to the girls, but was otherwise very reserved.

Day 16

Clarice indulged in Lottie's tea reading, but refused to believe it.

Clarice was shocked by the video the girls received, but still refused to believe Noah would go and sleep with another girl. He wouldn't do that to Hope, and he wouldn't do that to her.

She tried to comfort Hope the rest of the time there. Hope was obviously still upset about the Disaster Recoupling, but she appreciated that Clarice had remained loyal during CA.

Day 17

Clarice spent breakfast with Kassam. She really enjoyed it.

Clarice stuck with Noah.

Day 18

Obviously, Clarice was hurt by Noah bringing back Blake.

Ursula had this to say about Blake's "trying so hard" comment:

"The cheek of this one. Good luck with your career after this, babe."

Looking back, she regards it as karma. Something she deserved.

She didn't really know how to handle it. She kept her distance from Blake as much as possible.

Agreed with Shannon that you get what you deserve in the Villa - She thinks about this conversation often, especially after how she finished the season.

Helped the girls figure out what happened while they were away, and sort of regretted it after...

Noah went back to Hope. Clarice's grievances were ignored and criticized. She was frustrated and hurt.

Clarice saved Elijah from the dumping. She thought maybe she could start to move on from Noah with him.

She said goodbye to Priya, and sort of hated Bobby for letting her be sent home.

She had her first anxiety attack at the Villa that night. Gary and Chelsea were the only ones who knew about it, because they were the ones who stayed up with her until she calmed down.

Day 19

Confided in Chelsea and Shannon that she wished she could've been with Noah

Rather than Shannon teaching her how to read body language, Clarice challenged her to another game of 2 Truths 1 Lie, claiming Ursula raised a perfect liar. (She lost. But Shannon said she should try poker.)

Day 20

Scrambled eggs! It was the only kind Ursula could ever make.

Clarice was nervous about the arrival of Elisa and Jo. Although Jo seemed friendly enough, and Elisa was someone she briefly worked with before.

Didn't agree to talk to Ibrahim for Shannon after the double dates - Shannon needed to talk to him herself. And if he lies, why waste your time with him?

Insisted that Jo be given some space; Defended Chelsea while disagreeing with her actions

Day 21

Had to take multiple breaks from the girls day out - Good lord the fighting was exhausting and nerve-wracking

Helped Hope untangle the mess

Laughed out loud when Jo called her a people pleaser - "I might just be adopted then!"

"A people pleaser! Good on you, love!"

Legitimately almost cried when Chelsea called her amazing??? And when Hope praised her for taking the high road??? She might actually be a good person????

Got the girls to all make up

Cooked 🌟creamy garlic pasta🌟 for the group with Elijah

Started thinking she might have a chance with Noah again

Day 22

Asked Elijah to choose her at the Recoupling - Gave no promises that they'd be the next epic love story

Pining for Noah...

Day 23

Agreed to help Rahim ask Jo to be his girlfriend - Mainly for Noah's sake, because they're best friends

Went shopping with Elijah - Got Jo's nachos, chocolate, and blanked Elijah's flirtations

First pillow fort!

Grinded on Noah's lap during the Heartrate Challenge, then went to Elijah

Went to bed early

Day 24

Excited and relieved to have Lucas back!

Hugged Hannah upon her arrival - Overall, she was proud of Hannah for coming back more willing to get what she wanted.

Named the spider Todd

Reassured Lottie about Hannah

Clarice reassured Elijah after her date, but went up to the terrace and kissed Lucas.

Later at the party, she went back and slept with him. - After he came back, she thought maybe she was finally over Noah. She can be with Lucas and finally be happy in a couple. And she definitely rushed it.

Day 25

She told Elijah everything, and she felt horrible that he was more into her than she was into him.

Confessed to the girls after

Obviously bombed the Happily Ever After challenge

Clarice was left to couple up with Lucas.

Day 26

She was noticeably distant from Lucas - She wrote it off as guilt for cheating with him, though she was still happy to be coupled up with him.

Lottie's snide comments about her cheating made her distance herself from Lottie too.

Became Bra Sisters with Chelsea! And made up a handshake!

Lost the Couple Trouble challenge, so she and Lucas didn't go on the date in the Hideaway

Talking to Gary about his body image and therapy inspired her to go to therapy herself once the show was over. She really related to him when he said this:

Helped Marisol pack - Marisol was still one of her closest friends in the Villa. And she honestly thought it should've been her and Lucas going home.

Day 27

Babies? P A N I C M O D E!!

Clarice does want kids in the future, but doesn't trust herself to not fuck them up.

Very irritated by Lucas's refusal to help with the baby. It stressed her out more than it really needed to, so their unsteady relationship took a hit.

The beach break was a relief. And by the end of it, she was really happy to have made actual friends on the show.

Sent Ibrahim and Jo home - Sure, they're a better couple, but Chelsea is her emotional support bra!

Day 28

Finally got to talk to her mother. She "praised" Clarice for not letting "peer pressure" stop her from getting the guy she really wanted. (It was really a reminder that she still doesn't have him, and she should still go for him. However, what Ursula called peer pressure is what most people consider respecting relationship boundaries.)

Felt awkward talking to Lucas's family

Said no to being his girlfriend at the Final Date - They hadn't been together long enough, and his text conversation with Ursula was fine, but cryptic.

Privately relieved that Noah hadn't asked Hope to be his girlfriend yet

Day 29

Dress shopping was... An experience. She's definitely not unfamiliar with formal wear, but she spent a long time deciding who she should dress for. She ultimately chose a dress she knew Lucas would like.

Hopeless at dancing. She never got any of the steps right.

She tried to be as lighthearted with the speech as possible - She has a hard time opening up, and really, there wasn't many deep feelings to express for him.

Jumped in the pool

Sent Hannah and Elijah home - It was a tough decision, and it came down to Lottie and Gary's relationship being stronger.

Went up to the terrace with Noah, but she decided she was done with him leading her on, struggling to make a decision. She ended it once and for all, as opposed to sleeping with him.

Day 30

Still reeling from the night before

Helped Chelsea make breakfast - She told Chelsea that she wasn't feeling confident in her couple and their chance of winning.

Clarice and Lucas made it all the way to the end, but Noah and Hope won Love Island.

Lucas acted happy to be with Clarice until they went back to the Villa for the After Party. Then, he dumped her. - Clarice was furious, but she felt as though she absolutely deserved it.

Noah decided it would be best if they stayed away from each other.

Clarice told Hannah about what Lucas did, and Hannah promised to give him hell. That solidified their friendship for after the show.

Clarice pulled Chelsea aside, Chelsea nicked a bottle of champagne for them, and confessed everything to her. Her thing with Noah, his lingering looks, the terrace, Lucas acting for the cameras, everything.

Clarice went home with her mother. And cried almost the entire way to the airport.

After the Villa

She faced backlash for her actions in the Villa, but the Islanders she befriended came to her defense.

She had a long talk with Hope after everyone had a chance to watch the season back. It was a miracle Hope and Noah won, considering how much of his time with Clarice had been included in episodes. Hope broke up with him shortly after, and she and Clarice started to repair what they could. They agreed that they absolutely would've been friends if Clarice had made different choices. But for now, they're just being civil.

Ursula apologized for all the biting remarks about people in the Villa, except Noah and Lucas.

Clarice managed to keep her from running a full on smear campaign against them.

Clarice started therapy, and even got anti-anxiety medication.

The producers of Love Island offered her a second chance.

#litg #litg s2 #clarice figg #long post #this took forever #but it's done

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jackalopes-pen · 4 years

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Dumb Brain Child: Episode 5

Okay, so... we’re doing this again. I wanted to make a theory on the lastest Asides episode and add to the pile of flower fanatics but alas brain had other ideas. So, here we are again charging into the arena of dumb thoughts.

So y’know Logan Sanders? The one with the glasses but trade a cardigan for a neck tie and deadpan delivery in every line? Yeah that one. He’s been clearly stated as a neutral side and has no interest in switching. However, brain said “What would compel him to turn dark? What would add to the appeal of an already confirmed hottest side by adding angst?” Well... I had a few ideas so let’s see how they’d play out and if it’s possible in the current canon.

Option 1: He wants to be heard. Logan, even though he has a 20 for 34 record of resolving conflicts ( 58% ), he gets ignored a lot. Could this constant ignoring of his role lead him to accept a role in the darker part of Thomas’ mind. In the fanon? Absolutely. Fanon Logan is desperately seeking the love attention he never gets so he would absolutely take this deal and become a dark side.It is a really common fic trope. I can't tell you how many intrulociet, intrulogical, and/or lociet stories do this. It is more common than sea bass. Would Canon Logan take this deal? Probably not. Canon Logan understands that when push comes to shove, they will listen to him. Canon Logan also understands that him becoming a dark side would hurt Thomas, the biggest no-no. Overall: write into your fics, but don’t expect this reason for a sudden shift.

Option 2: For Remus. In the current storyline, Janus has been accepted, so if the mindscape is literally divided then Remus will be all alone. Now, as far as we can tell, Janus and Remus have a very strong bond. Anyone else notice how as soon Logan starts defending Remus, Remus accuses him of being Janus? From that line we can infer that Janus has defended Remus at some point(s). So, who’s to say that with Remus being all alone he wouldn’t reek havoc? He may get so lonely that he would try to become too loud and dangerous to ignore. Would Logan make the noble sacrifice of joining Remus to help Thomas? Fanon Logan? No duh. This is a pretty common Intrulogical or Intrulociet storyline. The fanon Logan would let his emotions slip, and go to the dark side only further give in to his feelings and.... hentai. Would Canon Logan? He probably wouldn’t be given a chance. If Remus got out of hand, the sides would send Janus and come to a conclusion of basically “You’re a light side, but over there.” Virgil could tell them, or Janus tell them about their bind and.. yeah. But, let’s say this somehow doesn’t occur and Logan has a chance to do this. He probably would if it was the best option, but otherwise he would remain where he is. Overall: Good storyline, could happen, but probably not.

Option 3: Manipulation. This one is hard to dismiss. Looking at the series from only the surface level and what we’ve been told, no side can control another. Looking deeper into the series, we find that there is probability of Janus being able to control the sides to an extent Ex: hand over mouth. The problem lies in that, can Janus( I’m using him for the examples b/c he’s all but a canon puppeteer)or any other side fully control another? One could argue that in Moving On ( part 2 ) Roman was under Janus’ influence but we don’t know. For the sake of this theory let’s use a common take on snakie’s power: The more you lie, the more control he has. We see Logan lie a few times in the series that he doesn't feel anything, that he doesn't tell jokes, and that he’s all business. It is easy to assume he tells these lies to himself so we do have a probable shot at Janus having a lot of control. If Janus could, fanon or canon, Logan would have no choice but to join. This is based on the big if of if Janus can or another side can even do that so take with a grain of salt. Overall: It could happen if someone could do that.

So, are we done? Is that all? Can I put this in the queue and forget about it? Oh.. I bet someone wants to know about another kind of manipulation. Someone here wants even more angst. Well y’know what? Fine.

Option 3.5: Emotional manipulation. I knew someone would want to hear about this. Now we have to dive into the well of “Does Logan have emotions, if so what does he do with them?” Fanon Logan hides them away because he has to cold, unfeeling logic, blah blah blah, angst, blah blah blah. Canon Logan does display emotion, though it’s muted, unless an outside forces intervene. Going with those established, and assuming that the Dark SIdes really want a smart one, what would happen? Fanon Logan, as is the common occurrence, who gives in to someone who cares about him only actually be chasing a carrot on stick. He would do as they say and eventually all of his former self would be lost, yada yada “I know you’re in there somewhere!”, end scene. Canon Logan doesn’t seem to have that same weakness. He has a support system, he has friends, and mostly likely he’d know the sign of something like this and bail quickly. Overall: very dramatic, but unrealistic.

Okay. no more of this. we’re done. I’m done. Goodbye.

Master post

#tw bold text #hopper's dumb brain children #i don't know why #but i did this to myself #it took too much work to get that percentage #i was over here with a calculator #scratching my head #i forgot how to 6th grade math #percentage is hard #i hate math #yet here i am #making something with percents #i even considered providing a fraction #but that's waay too much work #genuinely like send help #i have a headache #math hurts

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thisiswhatwereupagainst · 5 years

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@shattered-catalyst asked me what underused female Marvel characters that I’d like to see in the RPC. I misread it as asking what underused female characters I would like to see in a canon Marvel story, and started making this list. Then I realized what they ACTUALLY asked me---and answered it HERE-- but since I had this list started I thought I would post it! As a note, I tried to overlook my own biases for whom *I* simply want to see back in action, versus if there’s actually story potential there that I think other fans would genuinely want to see. It’s also by no means complete/comprehensive, so if you think someone is missing and deserves to be on here---you’re probably right! Feel free to add to it! BLINDSPOT - Blindspot is a female member of Mystique’s Brotherhood who was friends with Rogue, and had the powers of memory manipulation. After several missions, Mystique decided to cut ties with her due to lack of trust. Blindspot left, but not without wiping herself out of Mystique and Rogue's memories first, as she always covered her tracks, which is why Rogue doesn’t remember her (actual reason is she was retconned in, she’s a 2000s creation) Years later, when Rogue had become an X-Men, they would come into conflict once more, as Blindspot wanted to ‘save” Rogue from Xavier’s “brainwashing”, but Rogue would still leave Blindspot with her X-uniform to remember her by. Blindspot is unique in having been a Brotherhood friend to Rogue, as she was never shown as close to any of the other members, and was also mysteriously immune to Rogue’s powers. I think Rogue fans might enjoy seeing her in a Rogue story again, and perhaps learning more about their time together. CATSEYE - I think ALL the Hellions were criminally underused, and I know from X-Men/comics discussion boards that there’s an audience for their return. Catseye seems to be the favorite in terms of who people found most interesting, and I agree. A girl who believes she’s a cat who can turn into a human form, rather than the reverse, is a really neat concept, not to mention Sharon had a charming personality with surprising depth for what little time she got. There’s a lot that could be done with her return, and I think she could totally be the lead in a revived Hellions story on Krakoa, or a story depicting their time as Frost’s students at the Massachusetts Academy. CORDELIA FROST - Look, everyone loves Emma Frost, I think it’d be easy to get people interested in a Cordelia story. Not to mention the fact that like...Adrienne is dead, Christian was institutionalized, but Cordelia has been running around this whole time. She seems to have had some big plans once upon a time, what happened to that? Nothing ever came of it. Why not? What’s she been up to all this time? Also, we should finally get to see what kind of powers she has! I’ve seen it quoted around the Internet that Emma claims Cordy is “the Professor Xavier of empaths” but I’ve not only never seen the source for where she says this, she’s never demonstrated ANY kind of powers in canon, besides Emma not being able to read her mind. I would like to see what the “subtle, dark, and devious” Frost baby gets up to! DARKSTAR - Darkstar is a mutant and she’s been present in the comics since 1976. She’s been a member of X-Corps, as well as served in the Champions with Angel and Iceman back in the day. Yet her loyalty (coughBRAINWASHINGcough) has always brought her back to serving Mother Russia first and foremost. We saw recently though that Russia has gone back to its “All mutants serve the State or die!” position, and not allowing its mutants to go to Krakoa. It’s pretty easy to work Darkstar into a story about that, and finally exploring the way she was deeply conditioned to the point her “choice” to serve her country is probably anything but, and coming to terms with that at last. I’d really like to see a story like this, because Darkstar is kind of unique in that her brainwashing wasn’t a dramatic trauma-conga full of torture and abuse, she actually seems to have been treated well, she was just also kidnapped as a baby and never knew anything else. I think it’s about time we get a story that shows abuse doesn’t always “look like abuse” and how denial of someone’s agency can run so deep that their own choices that they THINK they’re making of their own free will, really are products of that. Also, her story could be an easy way to get my STARLIGHT fix, and FANTASMA on top of that. Remember, Fantasma was banished to Limbo, and pulled Starlight in after her. Why WOULDN’T Darkstar want to go rescue her teammate? And there’s a member of the X-Men who is mistress of Limbo and can open portals there, it’s totally easy! Darkstar enlists Magik (who has a huge fan following, and thus would get people interested) to guide her through Limbo so they can find Starlight and bring her home, but on the way they run afoul of Fantasma! Who, being a Dire Wraith sorceress, makes a great foe for Magik! PHANTAZIA - During 1990s, Toad struck out on his own and formed his own Brotherhood, which consisted of several old faces---Pyro, Blob, and Sauron (despite Sauron not being a mutant)---and a new one, the woman known as Phantazia, aka Eileen Harsaw. Phantazia had the power to manipulate electromagnetic energy fields. This allowed her to fly, disrupt machinery, and disrupt the bioelectric energy fields and nervous systems of other living beings as well, resulting in pain, paralysis, loss of physical coordination, and in the case of superhumans, the inability to control their powers, causing them to fluctuate in strength, cease functioning altogether, or spew out uncontrollably. Not much is known about her personality, but she seems to have been well-educated, as Blob refers to her as “Ms. PhD” and tended to stay out of the arguments between her male teammates, ignoring them while she read books on scientific subjects, such as astrophysics. . She also displayed loyalty, such as when she also opted to stay with her teammates when only she among them was invited to Magneto’s new mutant sanctuary of Avalon. Alas, Eileen met a wicked fate---for some reason, she was one of the few mutants to retain their memories of the “House of M” reality shift, and the shifting back and forth drove her insane. She was last seen in a S.H.I.E.L.D. custody cell, babbling “House of M” over and over. I think Eileen was interesting. She had a cool powerset, hints of a personality, and was never much of a “bad guy” certainly not enough to deserve what happened to her. Female Brotherhood members are also pretty rare, so she catches my eye for that too. I like to think Xavier found her and fixed her mind, and she’s going to hang out with her old pals Pyro, Blob, and Toad on Krakoa. HAVEN - I’ve been yelling about her on this blog for like 5 years, but if you’re not familiar with her, Radha Dastoor aka Haven was a villain who ran a cult dedicated to bringing about the end of the world as we know it in order to usher in a golden age of peace. She only did this, however, because she was being possessed by a demon. Her real self was a kind, charitable woman who was just all about feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and, as it happens, advocating for mutants. Though it had little to do with her villainy, Haven still found time to be a demon-posessed super-terrorist AND write books promoting mutant/human peace and give lectures condemning bigotry. She seems like someone who SHOULD have gotten saved from said demon, but no, she dies alone in the mud after being victim-blamed by a Marvel deity. Her entire arc is really misogynistic, she’s only possessed because she had sex once and then got pregnant, she’s basically punished for breaking the purity taboos of her culture once, and it’s also pretty...racist isn’t the right word, but she’s the first Indian and Hindu character in the X-Men comics, and a lot of her terrorist philosophy fed to her by the demon comes from actual Hinduism, which has unfortunate implications, as does the fact that the “brown woman with a funny religion ended up being a terrorist just like the government said so X-Factor attacking her before they were sure of this is okay” was part of her story. Eesh. Anyway, she was a very good person and an interesting character, I think bringing her back as someone trying to do good in the world again as a human ally to mutants while also dealing with what happened to her and what she did and her loss of 20 years of agency to possession, would be a good story. I at least want to see a cameo of her taking care of a bunch of orphan and refugee kids who are a mix of mutants, Inhumans, Warpies, aliens, and humans. LORELEI - Lorelei is another little-known woman from the Brotherhood of Mutants, and unique in that she’s NOT a mutant. At one point, Magneto used a machine to mutate members of the native tribes in the Savage Land, giving them super-powers. These Savage Land Mutates served him in their homeland, fighting the X-Men at his command, but he left them behind when he returned back to the rest of the world...all save Lorelei, who he took with him for his new Brotherhood, citing a possible “Pygmalion complex” for why. Lorelei was a beautiful blonde woman who could control men with her voice. However, she seems to have a childlike intellect, as she speaks very simply and in the third person, and doesn’t really seem aware of what she’s doing or why she’s being told by Magneto to do it. It’s a really worrying dynamic, and I also worry about Lorelei once Magneto just...kinda ditched her, I guess, and left her with Unus, Blob, and the Vanisher. Then she turns up back in the Savage Land serving yet another bad guy. Lorelei--or Lani Ubanu, as seems to be her name before Magneto transformed her--comes off as an unaware innocent that just gets constantly picked up and used by greater villains because she doesn’t know any better, and given that this is because of the powers Magneto gave her, I’d like to see that come back and have him take responsibility for her. And if she’s NOT as unaware and innocent as she seems, I’d like to see that, because she’s been around since 1969 and she doesn’t have a personality and she barely speaks! Flesh this girl out! MADELYNE PRYOR - I feel like this one is cheating a bit, because I’m not sure I’d say Maddy is under-used. She’s seen more action just this decade than all the others on this list saw in their entire careers COMBINED. It’s more than she’s just...not used well, in my opinion. 2000s writers generally seem to forget that her stint as the Goblyn Queen came from being infected by demonic energy and also insane (for VERY understandable reasons), and seem to think she’s just evil on her own. Not to mention they take all the depth out of her; she’s a character with a full personality of her own and some very fucked up struggles that she was not to blame for, but that all gets boiled down to “Scott’s sexy evil ex who is mad he left her so now she trounces around in skimpy clothes she never actually wore when she wasn’t possessed because EVIL LADIES ARE SEXY CUZ FEMALE SEXUALITY IS EVIL” and it’s just....u g h. When Maddy was herself, she actually was very heroic, to the point she sacrificed her life to save the world (her FIRST death, which everyone forgets). But she also has good reason to be really angry and bitter at the X-Men, and I don’t see her letting go of that even when she’s back in her right mind. So I think depicting her as an anti-hero, who saves innocent people yet works against the X-Men, would be a neat story, with the ultimate conclusion being her letting go of her grudge, not for THEIR sake but for HERS, to not have her be tethered to them any longer, not even by hate, and finally live a life that is HERS. MISS SINISTER - So, Miss Sinister is NOT Nathaniel Essex in a lady suit. She’s actually an entirely different person, and actually has a very sympathetic situation. She’s a woman named Claudine Renko, whom Mr. Sinister injected with a virus containing his own DNA. The idea was that in the event of his death, the virus would activate in her or one of his other test subjects, transforming them into Sinister complete with his consciousness replacing their own. But when it activated in Claudine after Sinister’s apparent (but in fact only temporary) death in the “Messiah Complex” story, Claudine did not become possessed by Mr. Sinister nor become him---not exactly. She became essentially a female clone of him, gaining aspects of his appearance (such as the chalk white skin) as well as his telepathic powers. He might also be how she got her wicked personality, but since we don’t know anything about her prior to this, that could just be how she was already. But she also suffered invasive memories of Essex's life, and that as a malignant presence within her mind, he was slowly killing her as a means of self-resurrection. He even managed to manifest briefly before being re-absorbed back into her. It was for this reason that she wanted to switch bodies with X-23, thus gaining Laura's healing factor, something she had wanted after her stabbing, and thereby freeing herself of Essex. The plan backfired when Essex took control of Laura's body and used her to mortally wound Claudine. Laura managed to overcome Essex's presence in her mind, expelling it through force of will. She was next seen working with Emma Frost on using The Mothervine, though Emma ended up turning on her. I remember feeling bad for Claudine when I read her story with X-23. Having someone else trying to take over your body is a pretty good motive for doing something as evil as trying to steal someone else’s, while also being inexcusable to do. It’s unlikely she was a willing subject for Sinister, so she probably isn’t to blame for what happened to her, but is to blame for her actions after, which is the kind of villain I like. Also, while she’s usually in lingerie ala a Black Queen of the Hellfire Club, she wore a really cute little normal outfit in a story with Sebastian Shaw and Daken...which ironically is when she actually was Black Queen! I’d like to see more of Claudine, and find out more about her story and who she was before all this, and whether or not she’s REALLY free of Sinister, as she seems to be now. After all...is anyone ever free of him? Bonus if she teams up with Madelyne Pryor! NOCTURNE - No not TJ Wagner, THIS LADY! I don’t think anyone (except me) is hoping for her return, as I don’t think anyone else really knows about her, but Spider-Man stuff is still popular so there’s no reason she couldn’t come back and have a prominent role in that. I really hope they go with the interpretation that she’s gay, since now is a time that they can actually have that open instead of coded, but more than just the representation of a gay WOC (which is awesome) I really am interested in her adjustment and journey into her new identity, and in particular her communication via empathy powers rather than speech. That really intrigues me about her. I think she could become very compelling and popular if brought back and handled well, perhaps in a story that brings back other neglected characters in the Spider franchise as well. SAT-YR-9 - Okay, so in the Captain Britain/Excalibur comics of the 80s, there was a woman named Courtney Ross. She was a banker and Captain Britain’s ex, and she became a side character, having adventures with the team and even besting none other than ARCADE through STAND UP COMEDY. Then one night, a version of her from another universe emerged in apartment, killed her, and took her place. This evil counterpart was Sat-Yr-9, who had been a cruel dictator in homeworld, and has been running around doing evil in 616 since while masquerading as Courtney. Captain Britain discovered the ruse and vowed revenge...but has yet to really do anything, probably because Sat-Yr-9 herself really hasn’t done anything since either. She popped up for a brief moment in the 2000s as the new White Queen of the Hellfire Club, but that’s it. I would like to see more of her, in that role or outside it. Given her connection to both the Hellfire Club and to Kitty (whom she was grooming under the guise of “Courtney Ross” and seemed to have big plans for, as well as some mysterious connection to that was never explained) I think she’d be great for the Marauders series. Or in the new “Excalibur” series that stars Psylocke as the new Captain Britain! I also think there would be interest in a story that finally resolves her murder of Courtney and shows Brian finally at least TRYING to make her pay, I still see it talked about on Marvel boards how unsatisfying and frustrating it is that Brian vowed revenge DECADES ago and has yet to do anything about it, and how much of a waste that makes Courtney’s death (Courtney was surprisingly popular with fans even to this day due to how she handled Arcade, it instantly endeared them to her...and then that’s RIGHT when she got killed off, literally the evening after) Maybe Betsy is the one who finally gets her at last! THRENODY - I think that Threnody’s coming back in the recent Deadpool series revived enough interest to justify bring her back yet again, and I think her baby being killed, however monstrous it was, means that fans are probably ready to see her get a happy ending for once. I know I sure am. ZALADANE - Zaladane was a personal villain to Polaris, and given that Polaris has never really had a book that was about her (as far as I know, I’m far from a Lorna expert) I think bringing her back as the bad guy for a Lorna solo series would be cool. I also would like it resolved if she’s Lorna’s sister or not. It seems to add up at the time it was written, but changes to Lorna’s backstory continuity since make it impossible. I think that a suitably comic-booky explanation could work for that, such as “she *is* Lorna’s sister but from another dimension, not 616, and also that explains how/why she’s in the Savage Land” or something like that. Plus it satisfies both the people who think she is and who think she isn’t.

#xmen #x men #x-men #marvel #marvel women

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tatzelwyrm · 5 years

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The character I give you is...Treville.

THANK YOU! (Although I’m sure I’ve already done this meme with him...)

How I feel about this characterI love him. I loved him from the moment we see him and Richelieu politely snipe at each other while Louis is shooting pidgeons in the very first episode. But he didn’t become my favourite character until episode four. I love that they made him such a conflicted character. He will do terrible things (and live with them) if he deems them necessary and I love that they kept making this into a bit of a theme for him even in the later series. It is a trait he shares with Hornblower, another character I love dearly. They both care about their personal honour and their duty, but they are also deeply moral characters who care about doing the ethical thing. But, as such things are in life, they get themselves into situations in which honour, duty and ethics are in conflict and upholding one means sacrifice one (or all) of the others. It’s part of what makes him, to me, by far the most interesting character on the show. Their characterisation of the Cardinal touches upon similar themes, but Richelieu operates on a villain narrative (or at least an antagonist narrative), so while I adore him too, it’s just not quite the same. The Cardinal isn’t bound by personal honour in the same way.

All the people I ship romantically with this character“Romantically” is such a strong word. I ship Trevilieu with a passion but “romantic” fits fanon better than canon.I would pay money for a proper Treville/de Foix fic, but, alas, there are none.

My non-romantic OTP for this characterThe most important relationship Treville has on the show is with Porthos (followed by Louis). And their relationship is precious to me, to the point I was concerned the BIG SECRET they hinted at early during s2 would make me stop watching the show. I was disappointed by the reveal, but thankfully it didn’t destroy their relationship for me. I still think that plot was stupid and not enough about Porthos, but I don’t mind it. They’re relationship survived and it’s as strong as before.In fact, the only episode of s3 I can stand to watch (if I skip all the scenes that have THE THING in it) is the one in which they both get captured, because you can feel the love and affection they hold for each other. (come to think of it, I would also pay for a fic in which Porthos and Treville go on a long, multichaptered adventure during which they rely on each other and work off each other brilliantly as a father-son-duo I mean team.)

My unpopular opinion about this characterDuring the time the show was on and the, like, year after that I still followed the fandom for, fandom mainly ignored Treville. If it acknowledged him at all it was as a kindly fatherly figure/mentor, to be used as mission control in fics, spouting exposition or occasionally saying some helpful words.As such I don’t think there can be unpopular – or even popular opinions about Treville.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) (what kind of question honestly XDDD)I wish he had lived. I wish he hadn’t been betrayed, sold and thrown away by the people he loved. My interest in the show evaporated after what they did to this character. I wouldn’t watch a fourth series if they paid me.

#treville #captain treville #the muskteers #don't you care about porthos #the musketeers spoilers #spoilers #chancellorfangirl

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bnha-headcanon-requests · 6 years

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BDSM NSFW TodoBakuDeku (AU/story idea)

(AN: Okay, so I just spend last 45 minutes writing about this AU/story, but of course, I just had to lose all of it. That’s why this time I’ll try to keep it short.)

This is an idea that I’ve been thinking over for a while. However, because of the large amount of projects (including stories and fanfics) I’m currently working on, I can’t exactly do much to explore it. Still, I decided to write it down for your enjoyment and maybe later use. Please enjoy.

Absolute basics

In this world quirks doesn’t and never have existed.

All of the characters are grown up, however their age differences are bigger than in the show.

The story doesn’t take place in America, so drinking age is 18.

Todoroki is the center of the relationship.

Story told through character descriptions, I guess

Todoroki Shouto

Twenty-eight of age. Rich. Working in his father’s company, but he hates it. Has a big ass apartment and also big ass daddy issues

In terms of personality, mostly similar to post fight with Izuku original. A bit more willing to be sociable, but more guarded with emotions. A lot better at pretending to be a ‘happy person without past trauma’.

Used to be a sub, but around 3 years ago switched to being a dom. Mostly well known on local BDSM scene under his nickname - Half ‘n Half.

His nickname derives both from his split hair as well as from his weirdly opposing likes if it comes to BDSM. On one side, he can be a very caring, almost ‘vanilla’ type dom. He likes to take care of people and make them feel loved and needed. On the other hand, he often slips into cold, distant, extremely dominant and sadistic persona, which desires absolute obedience and also likes to ‘break in’ especially bratty and troublesome subs. The both sides can be explored thanks to his relationship with both Izuku and Katsuki.

Midoriya Izuku

Twenty-one years old. Currently studying Architecture. A good student. Works part time in local fast food chain.

More akin to Izuku from the beginning of the show. Extremely insecure and anxious because of being bullied most of his childhood. Doesn’t like crowds, but can be sociable.

Is in established relationship with Todoroki for a bit over 8 months now. Moved in with him and away from the dorms a bit less than 3 months into dating.

For the first time met Shouto in a club he was dragged to by a friend group of his kinda friend. They got separated, and it almost made him have an anxiety attack. Todoroki noticed him hyperventilating among the crowd and decided to help him out. They ended up having a drink together and flirting a bit, but nothing beyond that.

They met up again while Midoriya was on an internship in Todoroki’s father’s company. They talked a bunch, went out few times and decided they liked each other.

Izuku is a delicate and inexperienced sub. Todoroki was the one who introduced him to it, but wasn’t too pushy about it. Midoriya is very submissive on his own. He likes to please and searches for positive feedback because of his insecurities. Todoroki likes to give him a lot of love and attention, make him take better care of himself and show him that he is important and needed. Izuku doesn’t like more extreme parts of BDSM like bondage or pain.

Bakugou Katsuki

Youngest of them, because only nineteen. Studies Chemistry. Doesn’t have a ‘real job’, but does a lot of small stuff (like tutoring.) He’s one of the best students at his course. He works out regularly.

This Bakugou is a bit more mature and has a better grasp on his temper than his counterpart from the canon. However, he still has some anger issues and superiority complex. He’s a perfectionist who likes to compete with everyone. Has a couple of people who he talks to, but doesn’t recognize them as friends.

Currently lives with Todoroki and Midoriya. Izuku suggested that Todoroki should find a new sub because he felt he wasn’t able to take care of his more extreme needs. Shouto talked to him about it, and in the end they decided that maybe he should try to find additional sub. Izuku was very anxious about the whole situation and drowning in self-deprecation, but they moved past it. He doesn’t get jealous over Katsuki, but doesn’t like him that much either.

Katsuki met Shouto at a BDSM club. He was starting to get well known there (under his nickname Zero) as a brat who no one could tame. They had a session together and Todoroki managed to get him under his foot without much effort. Bakugou was astonished, pissed off and also conflicted, because he liked it more than he expected. Todoroki left him with his number and the info if he wanted for something like this to happen again, he’d have to stay committed and not fool around with anybody. He also informed him that he already had a sub.

Katsuki tried to stay away, but nothing could quite satisfy the itch and need Todoroki sparked in him as Half ‘n Half. In the end he decided to commit to it. After they get to know each other a bit better, Todoroki urged him to move in. It was actually mostly convenient for Katsuki, so he didn’t oppose much. Quickly, he found out how demanding could Todoroki actually be (in all aspects of life) and he also discovered how much he liked for someone else to take control and let his perfectionist mind rest.

Katsuki can be very dominant for a sub. He’s confident and knows exactly how sexy and desiring he can be. He’s not ashamed of showing of his body, loves to tease and is a terrible brat. Ripping control away from people who call themselves dominant is something he enjoys greatly and what boosts his superiority complex. Alas, when he finds an opponent he can’t beat - Todoroki Shouto, he discovers a new part of himself - one that craves loss of control, humiliation and pain. His pride tries to force him to ignore and hide it, but Todoroki always helps it resurface.

Bakugou doesn’t like Izuku much, but they get along sufficiently. Somehow, Todoroki manages both of them without any trouble. Still, Katsuki sees Izuku as something of a rival and likes to compete with him over who can please Shouto better. These competitions never end well.

And here you go. I hope you enjoyed reading my little AU idea (I definitely didn’t enjoy having to rewrite it from scratch ;-;) Please let me know if you’d be interested in seeing a story set in this AU.

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #todobaku #tododeku #todobakudeku #bnha au #todoroki shouto #todoroki x izuku #katsuki bakugou #katsuki x todoroki #midoriya izuku #deku

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lizzybeth1986 · 7 years

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Quick Thoughts on TRR Book 2 Chapter 16

• IT’S HAPPENING FAM!

• Since there’s a chance that Homecoming Ball is going to be an absolute disaster, might as well put my crown on now

•

WHAT URGENT MATTER WHICH URGENT MATTER. LIAM YOU SHOULD TELL ME THESE THINGS.

• Maxwell since when was Bertrand a ‘calm presence’ 😂

• “No plots, schemes or blonde-haired barriers in the way!” Bertrand tells me. You sure about that boi? Coz everytime someone says something won’t happen in this book, it fucking happens 😑

• MAXWELL SINCE WHEN WAS ME ACCEPTING A PROPOSAL IN MY WAITRESS UNIFORM A GOOD IDEA

• When in doubt (and in NY getting engaged) dress like a New York skyscraper

• I had thought the Bertrand Savannah story would be over by now, but it isn’t. Far from it. But from what I gather - he seems to a. think that restoring Beaumont House’s glory comes first, b. feel that his love for Savannah (he does mention that he “treasures” her messages) is a distraction, c. deems himself a failure. There are some pieces to this puzzle missing and methinks we’ll find them all only in Book 3.

•

Legit. This right here is how my MC ended up head over heels for him.

• Liam: You radiated…possibility.

I believe at some point in the chapter, Liam highlights this as true not only in his own case, but applies it to how she changed Drake’s, Hana’s and Maxwell’s lives as well. I love that even in this, he doesn’t want to think only of himself. He sees how the MC has influenced his friends as well.

• I love how all our choices in Book 1 have been incorporated in this chapter.

• My favourite sequence in the chapter thus far is when Liam tells us about how he met the rest of the gang. It really does give us an idea of their background and history, and why they all really worked as a team, a unit, a group.

•

The first thing that came to my mind was how Maxwell was the first person to recognize the effect the MC had on Liam, way before even Drake did. He was the first to realise that Liam had found in the MC something he’d never had before, and thought to himself “I don’t want Liam to lose that”. It makes his first invitation to Cordonia that much more poignant, IMO.

• Lol I love how both Liam and Drake’s friendship is comprised entirely of them repeatedly rescuing each other 😂 They’re each other’s Knights in Shining Armour lol.

• OMG I FEEL SO VALIDATED BY WHAT LIAM SAID ABT HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH HANA?? I’D BEEN SAYING THIS SINCE BEFORE BOOK 2 CAME OUT OMG THANK YOU FOR CONFIRMING LIAM xD

• “Even back then…I knew [Hana and I] would be kindred spirits” - PREACH BRUH THATS WHAT I SAID

•

I SAID THAT TOO.

• “[Hana] is brilliant at a great many things…but hiding her feelings isn’t one of them”. AND THAT.

• In one fell swoop, Pixelberry made “With a Little Help From My Friends” parts one and two canon 😂😂

• Pixelberry also made @toglidethroughlife fic “This Love” partly canon with a way way happier ending if you’re a Liam stan xD

• This reminds me of that time when they made the abdication suggestion (and the MC’s response) that we saw in @violetflipflops “I Will Wait” canon too.

• “I didn’t realise that being a good ruler meant taking the reins for myself. Not until you.” Yes yes YES.

• MC you’re a shitty dog owner. You didn’t even notice your dog has been missing for the last few days? Whaaaaaa?

• He called me queen of his heart 😭😭😭😭

.• YES LIAM YES YES YES I’VE BEEN WAITING TO SAY YES SINCE CHAPTER 16 OF BOOK 1

• GUYS DID YOU NOTICE WE GET A ROMANCE MEGAPOINT ONCE WE GET ENGAGED???

• Back when I played the chapter I assumed the megapoint meant this LI would be exclusive for you from that point on…but alas. Looks like that isn’t the case. I do think we’ll see this megapoint next chapter with the others too. Maybe.

•

What he means is “sorry, Joy, I don’t think your little eyes can handle the smut”.

• Soooo this time’s diamond option is purely sexytimes, with a side order of Lady Liberty trivia. (the lightning one sounds ominous and symbolic of Liam in some ways). I’m okay with that because I really liked the non-diamond journey that preceded it, I thought that was a beautiful way to retrace their steps to the very beginning of their journey together.

• Also. As I have said before. Cordonian men have a thing for pinning their women to walls 😂

• This comes up if the MC speaks about Lady Liberty being struck by lightning 600 times.

Liam says the MC represents possibility. The MC says this. The Bad is gonna happen fam. In the Finale 😭😭😭

• Yknow there are several ways this could go down:

1. An assassination

2. A coup

3. Possible leaking of Constantine’s involvement in the conspiracy, leading to people losing their faith completely in Liam. It would take a great amount of effort for Liam to win his people’s trust, all through no fault of his own 😭

I hate option 1 but at least I hate it the least 😭😭😭 I’d much rather Liam get heroically injured than emotionally and publically torn apart like that 😭😭😭😭

• MADELEINE KNOWS SOMETHING.

• MAYBE REGINA KNOWS SOMETHING TOO IDK. MAYBE EVEN ADELEIDE KNOW SOMETHING. OR NOT. IM SO CONFUSED.

• If you reject Liam’s proposal, the resulting behaviours from the MC’s side are highly problematic:

1. She does it NOW when this man is on his one knee with a ring. Imagine how much more poignant and beautiful this admission would have been if they let you say it way back at the balcony. Imagine having the opportunity to tell Liam you love someone else at that point, seeing him conflicted, sad, confused - BUT AT LEAST he knows the stakes and knows it involves you finally going to the love interest of your choice in the end. Imagine him saying “I’m hurt, and sad, but that’s not what matters. What matters is that we clear your name.” How much more poignant that scene would have been. How much richer would it have made Liam’s story with you even if you weren’t pursuing him. It would allow him to maybe explore other options with other people. And it would be completely in character for him to let go that way. The MC, Liam and all the LIs would have wound up all looking good. Having it stretch out this far and crushing him like this is great drama but it makes the MC look like a complete tool. ESP when Liam offers her a duchy and her response is to be happy. HAPPY. “Sure I trampled your heart on my high heels but LAND. TITLES. MY OWN COAT OF ARMS. YAY. Who cares about you boo?”

2. Having the option of kissing him, and having sex with him, even though you have rejected him. Sure, Liam tries to make us feel better about initiating by bringing up the way Cordonia secretly does relationships, but in this case they don’t have consent from the LIs. She’s telling him she wants to have sex with him, at a time when he is vulnerable, desperately in love, still not over her, shocked and confused. That’s manipulative on levels I can’t even begin to describe. There should have allowed Liam to pull a Zig here, not continue placing her on a pedestal. Zig wants the TF MC, and he makes his feelings very clear to her while playing pool, but if she chooses to cheat on her LI with him he makes it very clear how absolutely callous that is on both him and the other LI. It makes it clear that this choice - taken with no one’s consent, and obviously focussed just on her own needs without caring whether other people will get hurt in the process - is wrong. He lets her know her behavior was terrible. Liam would have been well within his rights to tell the MC that too.

At the very least they could have had Liam bring the polyamorous option up and THEN state “but hey, you shitty person, we don’t have Drake/Hana/Maxwell’s say on this yet”.

This isn’t in any way comparable to the Liam/Madeleine/MC situation. Liam was in a forced arrangement, one that he had been clearly manipulated into. Liam had Madeleine’s explicit consent, and got the MC’s as well, before moving forward. Plus he never intended to keep the arrangement with Madeleine, hoping to break it when the MC’s name was cleared (a promise he acted upon and fulfilled immediately, might I add). Here, the MC and Liam are free, as are the other LIs, and they have nothing holding them back. And as I mentioned earlier there is no explicit consent from the LIs, the way there was with Madeleine. Liam is a guy who stayed ridiculously faithful to the MC from the moment she entered the competition, didn’t even look in the direction of the rest of the competition when he was well within his rights to. Ignored Madeleine to a large extent the whole duration of their engagement. Basically ONLY lavished attention, love and devotion to the MC. What about this guy screams “yeah let’s bang without consent from the ppl you’re actually in love with” to you?

• Liam is not the one with the problem here. Nor is the player. The problem is the writing and the game.

• This is an obvious attempt at cashgrab. Now that we will begin to go official with our LIs, how are we going to buy ALL the exclusive LI scenes the way we’ve been doing so far? They can’t completely diverge the stories the way they did with RoE (RoE could afford to do this because there were other characters and storylines we could find ourselves invested in, so restricting it to just one LI in Book 3 was okay), nor can they do what they’re currently doing in TS or ES or LH because the relationship dynamics in this book are vastly different. So they bring up this piss poor excuse so that they can still manage to make sex scenes with the LIs possible even if you’re supposed to be going official with them by the end of the book. Ick. All it does is leave a bad taste in my mouth.

• Other stans I hope you get your sexytimes soon!

#the royal romance #trr liam #liam x mc #trr maxwell #trr hana #trr drake #trr bertrand #trr quick thoughts #quick thoughts

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utopianparadoxist · 7 years

Text

Fearful Heart

[Author’s Note: This is a repost of Love, Faith and Fantasy–my piece on Jake and Dirk’s character arcs and the relevance of Knights and Pages in understanding them. I thought breaking it up into chunks would make the content more accessible, and give me room to flesh out each argument. Thus there will be some updates to the content. Hopefully this will mean more people can easily approach it!]

[Pt. 1 - Knights/Pages - Service and Ownage] [Pt. 2 - Faith and Fear] [Pt. 4 - Noble] [Pt. 5 - As You Wish]

So we’ve established that Jake-- as a Page of Hope, the Active Serve Class-- has a well-grounded and consistent habit of being self-serving by choosing to believe whatever is easiest for him in face of clear evidence to the contrary.

We’ve also established Jake has a habit of inspiring his friends into helping him, or outright asking them to--often while talking up his friendships and making attempts to make them feel good about themselves, stressing how much he believes in and appreciates them.

So now let’s revisit his relationship with Dirk, and try and see if understanding this changes the core conflict between them. Fandom commonly understands this conflict as being about Dirk being willing to push his high standards and agenda onto Jake, to Jake’s detriment. I believe the reality is more complicated, and also more satisfying.

So how does the Prince of Heart feel about his Page, exactly?

Let’s find out.

We get exactly one pesterlog with Dirk and Jake, and in my opinion, it is the single best pesterlog in the entire story of Homestuck.

For those who need a refresher: The log I will be quoting from is a memory from Jake’s 13th birthday, the day Dirk sent him the Brobot and confessed to being from the future. I think it’s a lot more indicative of their relationship than any logs between Jake and the AR, or anything Brain Ghost Dirk says, for a simple reason:

This is Jake and Dirk actually talking to each other. No proxies. And this is what Jake’s mind remembers and calls back to after spending his entire session up to that point...trying to reach Dirk.

And it’s only after Jake remembers that he’s dreaming that Brain Ghost Dirk adopts the sassier approach--which Jake says reminds him specifically of Hal, not Dirk himself. Jake personally draws a distinction between them.

The first thing worth pointing out is that Dirk doesn’t buy Jake’s Hothead Adventurer persona at all. Don’t get me wrong--Dirk takes Jake at his word when Jake talks about liking adventure and fighting and all of his interests, but when Jake tries to talk himself down intelligence-wise, Dirk flips his rhetoric to compliment him.

And when he brings up Rose’s book series, Dirk opens by asking if Jake’s read it. When Jake dodges and tries to lean on not being able to understand it (and asks Dirk to help him keep the secret--more of his hiding stuff to spare people’s feelings), Dirk ignores the comment and launches into a diatribe on the book’s underlying themes--knowing Jake will follow every word of it.

This perception into Jake’s true nature links into Dirk’s role as a Heart player--Nepeta similarly saw right through Karkat’s angry bluster and unpleasantness into the deeply emotional and gooey Heart underneath.

And when Jake leans on his dumb (and coded straight) adventurer’s persona to deliberately avoid letting his conversation with Dirk skirt too close to gay territory...

Dirk actually snaps at him, coming off pretty critical. It’s important to note this conversation takes place while Dirk is in the process of sending Jake the Brobot, a project he’s worked on for months and which we learn was meant to be a romantic gesture on Dirk’s part, judging by the ‘tender’ comments. So it’s safe to assume the dude’s got romantic thoughts on his mind right now.

And fairly intense ones, too: The Hal describes his memories about feeling for Jake as ‘heavily arresting’ periods of remembering ‘conflicted, incipient preteen episodes’ on the subject. This tells us that the episodes were getting started before Dirk was 13, that they involved conflicting emotions, and that they were intense enough that Hal is still essentially prey to them at times--even removed from their original biological context.

Understanding how much Dirk is thinking about romance here gives this log an entirely different tone, especially because he brings up sexuality again soon after snapping at Jake, only to once more be shut down--and with Jake taking ‘gay’ as a mean-spirited pejorative, no less.

Soon after that, Jake says something that could be read as flirty and Dirk immediately jumps on it, escalating things to thinking about actual physical proximity. When Jake points it out, Dirk gets flustered and quickly changes the subject. He then starts talking DOWN how capable he is--a sharp contrast from later Dirk talking himself up in front of Jane. They talk some more, the conversation turns to Dirk doubting his own ability to make the AR, and...

The first is that Jake explicitly notes that he appreciates Dirk being helpful--being of service. The second is that Dirk is clearly and transparently moved.

Dirk’s denizen is Yaldabaoth--an intrinsically evil Creator God--, and his issues center entirely around believing he’s in some way inherently bad or damaging to his friends.

No surprise, then, that he’s drawn to Jake specifically because Jake has faith in him as someone who can do good. This moment of confidence--Jake appreciating Dirk’s help and confiding his faith in Dirk’s ability to do what he’s set his mind to--leads directly to the creation of the AR.

It also happens to be the moment Jake and Dirk come the closest to just admitting their feelings for each other. Alas, it veers off into the future talk.

Jake believing him about the circumstance of his life is important to Dirk, too--much as Jane NOT believing Roxy is important to her.

So much so that the moment reverberates three years later, as Jake dreams about it, through Brain Ghost Dirk delivering a line that is actually unique enough to jar Jake out of the memory--essentially, Dirk’s feelings slipping through the Ghost to wake Jake up to his reality:

Brain Ghost Dirk implies Dirk thinks Jake’s faith is impressive, further undercutting the less relevant reasons Dirk gives Jane for letting Hal hassle him.

So this could be one of the most moving things Jake ever says to Dirk, and it comes at a time when his emotions and romantic feelings are already running high. Which makes it a real shame what happens next.

Jake reacts horribly to the Brobot’s design...

...Which Dirk responds to with a question. Jake spends most of his life up until now talking up his love of fights, challenges and adventure, so Dirk asks for clarification. He then asks Jake to trust him, trying to sell the idea--but Jake makes it pretty clear he dislikes it.

Which is why I really can’t parse him changing the subject as some cold-blooded act of manipulation. This conversation has been a rollercoaster for Dirk--he’s been built up, torn down, and sent a ton of mixed messages.

The big romantic overture he had planned blew up in his face, and he can’t really do anything to fix it without exposing Jake to the danger of the monsters again. Dirk wants to be done by this point, I think, and I would be too.

And the tragedy is? I don’t buy that this was Dirk imposing some Training Program on Jake out of his personal perspective that Jake needs to improve. At this point, I’d need a strong argument to convince me of the reading. It leaves too big a plot hole, and there’s a more obvious canonical explanation for it anyway.

Because if Dirk was willing to unilaterally impose training on Jake because he needed to be stronger, then it begs the question:

Why not the same functionality for Jane? Are we putting it down to some completely canonically unaddressed misogyny? Jane is in as much danger as any of them, and far more unprepared. If he felt that strongly and was that willing to control, does it really make sense to think he’d stop short of training her personally to ensure their success?

Consider the alternative possibility:

That when trying to romance his best friend, Dirk approached the situation logically. Jake talks about loving adventure all the goddamn time. Dirk knows he doesn’t actually do any adventures.

But he believes Jake that he wants to. And he wants to be helpful for two reasons, one being winning Jake’s appreciation and romantic affections. The second we’ll talk about later.

The solution? Simple.

Set up an elaborate scenario in which Jake can experience all the adventure he wants--while also keeping him safe from monsters. Essentially, Dirk is trying to enable Jake to actually start living out his fantasy in a safe environment, and Jake inspires in Dirk the desire to help him in this way through Hope for romantic reciprocation.

Dirk isn’t interested in controlling Jake English at all. He’s trying to Serve him.

Which he succeeds at! Over the long run, Jake does indeed grow to view the chase as an adventure, and admits to finding the whole experience of the Brobot kind of exciting in confidence with Jane. I’d have to hear explanations if someone wanted to square this with Jake perceiving it as abusive, personally.

Hence why Jake levels up when he’s trounced. Jake got owned, sure--but he was also getting served, as in he got the adventure experience that he wanted. Note, by the way, the butler imagery--which for the most part recurs continually centered around Jake and Dave.

Which makes these lines Dirk delivers three years later, directly to the audience:

Straight up lies. It’s Dirk hiding from his hurt and confusion by destroying his own perceived fuckups with his fabricated Stoic Coolguy Warrior persona--the same way Jake hides from his own by burying them under his beliefs.

In reality, all Dirk wants is to try to make what Jake wants possible. Which is very fitting, because there’s only one thing Dirk wants more than Jake himself. As we just established, what Dirk wants is to be believed in. To be valued and wanted. To be of service, to be necessary, to be good. And specifically...

To be like Dave Strider. Next time, we’ll talk about Dirk’s desire to live up to Dave’s image, how he really feels about his friends, and how all of this affects his relationship with Hal.

This series has been a passion project, but also a side project to my youtube series aimed at welcoming and explaining Homestuck to new, incoming Hiveswap fans. If you find yourself trying to make it easier for a Hiveswap fan to understand what Homestuck is about and how it connects to the game, I hope you think of me.

If you like my writing and have a buck to spare, you could also really help me out by enabling me to focus on putting more of this content out there through pledging on Patreon. Doing so will also give you access to my private community of enthusiasts trying to advance new and interesting readings of this wonderful property.

See you again soon, everyone. Until then,

Keep rising.

#Homestuck #Dirk Strider #Jake English #Knights/Pages #Princes/Bards #Dirkjake #My MSPA Analysis

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