#but also i am not. typing all that onto tumblr. no way

[toytulini]

trying to balance my desire to whine about my obscure oc art thats unlined pencil sketches on a shitty pink panther notepad of a weird looking monster girl that i dont talk about on tumblr outside of tags not getting notes with the recognition that its fine and i also dont want to guilt ppl into reblogging it

[dolldefiler]

Hey :)

I just wanted to say truly how incredible your writing is. I find myself refreshing on tumblr desperately looking for a new story from you whilst I mindlessly rub myself away to all the dirty things on here because it just works like no other if I’m honest..

Also wanted to say thank you for seeming like a genuine person on top of all the sex-stuff, a lot of people abuse the space with this sorta stuff so it’s refreshing to see a double edged sword type thing I suppose.

Now I guess onto the reason I gathered the courage to ask (even though I’m still on anonymous…) I was wondering if you’d be up for letting me share my fantasy and if it sparked any inspo, if you’d be open to doing a request whenever you got the free time?

One of my biggest fantasies in the world is being kidnapped, raped and gaslighted, with heavy heavy tones of misogyny. Idk something about a sexually fuelled patriarchal society really does something to me :0 but unfortunately it’s kind of hard to communicate that desire to anyone at risk of it being taken completely the wrong way (oh the joys of having these kinks) and so I fear I’ll never really get to live out any variation of this fantasy with someone I trust

I just imagine being taken one day, because I’m just a girl and it’s a man’s right to take me if they choose. He takes me back to whatever secluded hole he’s got to keep me in, and it’s brutal and harsh at first - tied, bruised, etc etc. Then as the days, weeks, months go by I begin to develop Stockholm syndrome or I’m just plain old gaslighted into thinking this is all women are made for. Maybe he recorded me saying degrading things about myself in the first few days, which I said out of fear but you play them back for me and convince me that I meant them and you never asked me to say those things, it must just be truly who I am. Maybe he’d reward me when I gagged on his golf with the most simple thing like a stroke of my hair while he brutally fucked my face, but the small sign of affection (even when being used so aggressively) would be the gentle touch that I had been craving in the months he had kept me locked away. Besides the first time he raped me (so he could hold my pleasure during it as a tool against me), he would edge me from the very start, breaking me, making me crave the pleasure against everything screaming in my body saying not to. Taunting me by saying if I could cum just one more time, he’d let me go.. but of course he’d never let me. Teasing me by saying if I do as I’m told he’ll think about letting me get extra close to the edge that day, because at this point being allowed that would be the closest I would ever get. By the end of it my rewards would no longer benefit me, I’d be thankful when he said I could cockwarm him whilst he worked, or if he said I could be spend hours and hours worshipping his cock with my mouth, even when my jaw began to hurt. He’d only fuck me ass unless he wanted to edge me and get me close, or to breed me full of cum. If I ever took a misstep, like missing a single drop of cum after he came, I’d be punished. I’d be thankful to serve him, I’d learn to speak to him as my superior and all my pleasure would come from serving him. I could be completely rewritten and by the end of it he could let me go with no worry, and I’d be his forever..

ANYWAYS… ahem. I think I may have got carried away.

Even if you don’t write anything like this, honestly it was kind of fun just typing it out.

Other than that, I hope you are doing good!

From a very horny anon (who maybe recently has maybe weirdly started subconsciously picturing some imagined version you in this fantasy)

-🍒

Aww, this is such a cute message to receive (and as ever with these asks, I apologise for taking a century to respond).

I would love to steal some girl away from her home, snatching her up like she's property to be claimed. Snatching it up, like it's property to be claimed. She'd struggle at first, screaming and crying, violently thrashing against her ropes and threatening to call the police. What a silly little sex doll. The police wouldn't care about her. They'd probably stolen away their own little fleshlights.

I'd beat her of course. Stupid fucking rapetoys need it sometimes. They need to understand that they're nothing until I give them a purpose. I'd lock her in a dark room with no clock, no water, not a single sound to accompany her but the sounds of soft sobbing and heavy breathing. She'd mark the passing of days from my sharp footsteps as I'd come down to feed her. Beat her. Abuse her.

I'd speak to her sometimes, whispering degradation into her ears. Taking off her gag to encourage to degrade herself for me, if she wanted food. The only human contact she'd know would be intensely degrading. Every vile word of degradation she'd whisper about herself would earn her a pat on the head or kiss on the forehead. I'd reward her for breaking.

I would record every trembling word of hate she'd say about herself and rape her to the sounds of it. I'd spread apart her cunt on my cock and pound away at her, recording even that, raping her endlessly to our homemade porn. To our rape videos. She'd watch her own face become stained with tears. She'd hear the nasty things she'd hear about herself. She'd lose her mind. Did she truly want this? Did she really hate herself?

I'd reassure her that this was normal. That it's okay to hate yourself. That all she needed was me. I'd strap a vibrator against her clit and drill into her ass, jerking off inside her to the sounds of her intense degradation, to the her loud, screaming in those rape videos. I'd teach her to love the feeling. Then I'd leave her again. I wouldn't speak to her for days, silently feeding her. She'd have to choose between eternal silence or... something that made her feel alive. Something that made her feel like a woman. Something like a pathetic fucking rapemutt.

I'd choke her out, squeezing her tighter and telling her that I'd stop if she only just told me to. I'd stop if she degraded herself. I'd stop it if she just said anything. But my hand would stop her. I'd watch her become unconscious and limp every time, and wake her up to my cock raping her ass violently and my palm slapping her sharply. I'd only use her cunt to reward her. To train her into loving my cock stirring up her insides in a way that didn't leave her screaming.

I'd rewrite her so thoroughly she wouldn't even be able to consider disobeying me. The police might stop burying their cocks into their own fleshlights and knock on my door. They might question her. They'd get nothing. She'd defend me and tell them she ran away with me. She'd fervently tell them how I'd saved her from her old life. How I'd helped her. They'd take one last look at her and leave my house. Perhaps I'd breed her as a reward.

[sixosix]

hii, been a while since I've been on tumblr now and i came just in time for ur event 😭 also i realised thawed has gotten a lot of updates and im SOO happy because now i can binge ‼️ can i request lyney and 'eyeliner' for the event :33

also congrats on hitting 5k, and a happy bday in advance to the lyney writer EVER i came back and reread sleight of hand immediately sorry that is exactly the kind of person i am (sixosix writing consumer and injector (what is that)) 💗💗

you are so SWEET thank you so much!!! im sorry i took so long to get to ur req but i hope u see this and like it!! <3

warning ?? wc 500, this is so stupid but a little bit of possessiveness(?) and its very intimate looool

5K EVENT SPECIAL | EVENT MASTERLIST

You cradled Lyney’s chin gently, tilting his head upward. His breath hitched, but he didn’t move as you instructed. The ink for this eyeliner was the type that was really hard to rub off, and he had a show in about ten minutes.

It was a little distracting—Lyney’s eyelids fluttered, restless, as if his pupils were still tracing your every move even with them closed. You cursed, willing your hands to stop trembling.

“You okay?” Lyney murmured, his breath hot on your face.

“Mm. Hold on,” you whispered, flicking your fingers and crafting a precise line. As the ink glistened freshly, you gently blew on his eyes, cooling the area with a light breeze. His lips curved into a smile as he held onto your waist. “Open.”

His eyes looked sharper with eyeliner, but you’d shudder under his gaze even without them. Up close, however, it was easy to get distracted by how the purple of his eyes sparkled, looking at you as if you were all he could see. Well, with you all but straddling his lap, maybe that really was the case.

You wriggled off, but Lyney’s hand never left your waist, even as you reached for a hand mirror. Lyney only glanced before grinning up at you.

“Perfect as always,” Lyney praised, pulling you down to press a kiss on your chin. 

You laughed and halfheartedly pushed him off. “Don’t mess up my hard work.”

“I’m also putting makeup on you,” Lyney argued, pushing on your neck until your noses are touching. “Don’t move.”

He reached for the eyeliner in your hand, examined it curiously, and then looked at your face. How was it fair that he looked so good under the harsh spotlight and in the dim lighting backstage?

“Do you know how?” you asked.

“I don’t need to,” he said, yet pointed the tip on your neck.

Confused, you bared your skin to avoid getting the ink on your clothes. The waterproof, smudge-proof formula was no joke. Lyney had this dangerous glint in his eyes as the brush made contact with your neck—it was cold on your skin, in contrast to Lyney’s warm hand holding your face, but you held in a shiver to not disrupt him.

He seemed to be drawing shapes and long lines. It was hard to see even with the mirror behind Lyney, with his head blocking the view, but seeing how close you two were felt so intimate. You squirmed, darting your gaze to anywhere but how Lyney’s eyes were zeroed in on your neck.

“There,” Lyney whispered.

He slid out of the way for you to check his masterpiece, your neck bared to the mirror and having a perfect view of Lyney’s signature inked on your skin. You found yourself laughing at Lyney’s proud smile. 

“Idiot,” you reprimanded, but was feeling so flustered. “Don’t look so proud.”

Lyney whistled lowly, and his grin spread over his face. “Well, look at the time. We can’t do anything about that right now—I’ll see you after the show?”

[s3thwrit3sstuff]

hello seth! i don’t think my tumblr works with anon so i’ll just send it like this! i’m a huge fan of your writing and i absolutely adore it. whenever i am in the need for a good story and writing inspiration i go to your blog. so i was hoping if you could write a sally face fic! i haven’t seen too many on here and willing to write for m reader or ftm.

i like the thought of being with sally and just having time with him, soft domestic type stuff. then he starts asking you how you really feel about his face and you smile and take off his mask with permission and kiss him saying he’s beautiful and to not worry. you kiss him and hold him. he then sits up but keeps your lips locked and you begin to explore each other sexually but in a such intimate way you both are crying almost. if you want could be m reader but i would love a ftm reader! can we also have reader be bottom but still be guiding sally and affirming him. i know this is a big ask and you’re always working so hard so please take liberty with this ask! take what you want from it and remove what you don’t like. i just love you’re writing. take your time as well! writing can be draining sometimes and you really need to find that inspiration so i want to make sure you feel no pressure!

have a good day/night/evening!!<3

❝ I'll show you how we're supposed to feel (when we meet at Orion's belt) ❞

SalFisher x ftm!reader | fluffy, NSFW | reader has had top-surgery & bottom growth | sub. bot. reader | NOT PROOFREAD | wc: 5.4 k

warnings: mentions of facial dysphoria, self-deprecating thoughts (Sal), unprotected sex, praise (a lot of it), minor hair pulling, creampies, AFAB terminology (clit referred to as dick/cock, terms like cunt and boypussy are used)

masterlist ;

authors note: thank you so much for your kind words! hearing that you use my writing as writing inspiration made me feel so warm and fuzzy on the inside oh lord 😭 you're too kind! This request was the softest one I've ever worked on, thank you so much for gracing me with the opportunity to write this~

*song on repeat: Orion's Belt by Sabrina Claudio / Baby Girl by SMNM

"Cold, cold, cold," Sal lifts his head from the couch. The sight of you rushing down the wooden stairs in nothing but a towel makes him lift himself to sit. "Fuck! Sal, you should put carpet in here!" Grinning, he leans forward and folds himself in half to stare at you furiously lifting the towel up to wrap around your shoulders instead.

"You hate carpet. B'sides, it'll get that weird moldy smell in here. I told you to get those fuzzy slippers," Gizmo meows in agreement from his corner of the couch. "Traitor!" you exclaim and he simply meows once again, lifting a leg to lick his stomach and Sal reaches over to give his head a good scratch.

"See? Even Gizmo agrees."

"Gizmo has in-built fuzzy socks. He has no say in this," your huffing and puffing simply makes Sal roll his eye, lifting Gizmo up to place the large cat right on his stomach while he props his head onto the armrest of the couch. Gizmo stretches out onto his torso, unbothered by the change in position while he presses his nose into Sal's chest and twists until he's nearly full on his back; the action makes Sal secure the old cat on him. His olive-toned arm loosely wrapped across Gizmo's purring body.

You're still rambling but it's all background noise to Sal. The sight of your bare legs and backside calls for his attention and despite how guilty he feels, he can't help but drag his sight all the way up to your — now — bare shoulders. The towel is now limply draped over the towel rack, and your muscles and bones are moving seamlessly underneath the fabric of your skin.

Everything about you can make him feel like he's going to explode. In a good way, if you can believe it. He sure as hell didn't. Sal remembers the first time he saw you, thinking you looked cool and that it was nice your interests lined with his. Somehow you managed to become more than that.

More always scared Sal. It was greedy and selfish. He wasn't religious but there was a sense of anxiety that came from wanting and needing more than you were given. Some sort of divine guilt was planted within him through passing by churches and reading the signs of worship plastered on billboards. Needing more is frightening, especially from other people.

More time spent with you two. More hours of listening to you speaking. More days spent with you in his home, bare skin and bare soul all for him and only him.

It frightened him!

Because, as self-centered as it sounds, he'd have to give you more. Don't take this the wrong way, he wants to — God, he wants to — but...but...

What if you don't like all that he has?

The fabric of his skin is spoiled. Marred. One of his eyes is artificial, his jaw asymmetrical, bone blown to bits, nose cut off and skin grafts stitched together and spliced.

His heart hammers in his chest, and his breathing is shaky as he squeezes Gizmo. The patch-furred critter mews, twisting once again and crawling up. His weight on Sal's chest is comforting. The pressure across it squeezed down on him, reminding his body that it was real and he was safe.

"In conclusion, I propose we buy a heater! That way we can — "

You're dressed in Sal's pajama pants, hands in the middle of pulling down the oversized band shirt when you notice Sal squeezing his eyes shut.

"Sal? Baby? What's wrong?" You sit by his legs, placing a hand on his knee and pressing your hands on it to ease him back down. "You're okay, baby. You're okay." It's not often Sal gets like this. You've known him ever since he came to Nockfell County; you know he's the type of person to withdraw within himself when his anxieties get the best of him. He's certainly gotten better with time and as your friendship — and eventual relationship — got stronger, the both of you worked on ways to lean on each other when things get tough.

Sal inhales deeply, Gizmo raising with the motion, and exhales. You don't pry more, giving him room to find the words and tether back to you. Gizmo's purrs muffle the silence.

"Sorry, just, the sight of your ass gave me a heart attack, Jesus," the joke is met with a loose grin but Sal knows you better than that. Still. He's grateful you snort at his jesting. Gizmo stands — Sal grimaces as he puts all his weight on his sternum — then walks over to your lap instead. The sight makes him calm down.

The faded grey of the once-black band shirt and his pajama pants do too. It's silly but the sight of you in everything that's his comforts a part of him. You're here. You're in love with him. Your gaze holds nothing but patience and adoration and a tinge of worry.

But you're here, in his clothes, in his room, his cat in your lap, and your hands on his body.

"You feeling better, Sal?" He nods, pushing to sit. "Do you wanna talk about it, baby?" Gizmo gives your chin one more bump before he jumps on the floor and meanders his way to his food bowl. Taking the chance, you inch closer to Sal and he's grateful for it.

You're not scared of the cold prosthetic on his face. The iron bolts that secure the straps to his face and head, the glass eye that shines humourlessly in any situation.

"Do you ever want...more from this? From me?" That line of questioning made your brows furrow and mouth frown. "What do you mean?" You reach for him and Sal reciprocates by holding your hand in his lap.

"I was joking about seducing Mr Smith from the electronics store for a heater," he scoffs at your lame joke but continues. "I don't mean that, I'll get us a heater. Just..."

"You've never seen...all of me." His grip loosens but you don't let it. "So?" he looks at you, his face angled low and the shape of his prosthesis mimics his brow bone. Sal is pinching his face, confused at your indignant tone.

"So?" He whispers. You lift his hand up, inching in closer and placing his knuckles over your clavicle.

"So?"

"Doesn't it freak you out? We've been together for so long and you've never seen my face," he murmurs. Since you're so close, speaking above a whisper would ruin this moment. Sal's heart is racing again though this time the anxiety is laced with his love for yours. It's a confusing emotion but he relishes the way you press your forehead to his, nose bumping with the bump on his prosthesis.

"Do you want me to see your face?" He inhales sharply, glancing away.

"...I do. But..."

"Mm?" you spread his fingers out, guiding them to your neck and the calloused pads of Sal's fingers make gooseflesh spread. The hairs on the back of your neck standing in applause; because that's what he does to you.

He makes your pupils expand, makes your heart race, makes your brain produce dopamine; your body lights up like a goddamn firework when he so much as looks your way. You can be yourself with him without fear because you know you do the same to him.

"...I've only ever let you kiss me when it's dark. The first time we had sex, I couldn't even take off the mask...I just...I'm..."

Your frown deepens when Sal sighs, his shoulders dropping.

"Be honest. Does it bother you?"

He's glad you don't reply immediately. A part of him always worries your love for him overtakes everything else. That, if something ever happens between the two of you and it tears you apart, you'll feel regret once the love is gone. You brush his hair behind his ear, cupping his jaw as you shake your head.

"No. It doesn't. Because it's you, Sal. I love you. Even the parts you aren't ready for me to see." He exhales and his breath escapes through the slits of his mouth. You feel it on your thumb and it makes you grin.

There's a twitch in his eye and your grin falters for a moment before it reappears when he locks eyes with you.

"...Do you want me to see your face, baby?"

His jaw is set. His tongue is made of lead. So Sal simply closes his eyes and gives you a minuscule nod. If it weren't for your hand on his jaw, you probably would've mistaken it for a twitch.

"Can I take off your prosthetic?"

Another nod.

"Are you sure, baby? I won't do it if you're not — "

"I'm sure." He says in one breath. "I'm sure."

A moment of silence was shared and you leaned forward to press your lips in the molding of his. The cool material does not pulse or pump with life but it's your Sal's and you cherish it deeply; he exhales shakily and you grin as your fingers dance through the locks of blue to find the straps that hold the prosthetic in place.

It's secure, it's meant to be, and you can feel the wear and tear of the years in the material. The scratches and indents weaved into every fiber. You unbuckle the lower end first and Sal tightens his hold on you, so you pause and press another kiss to his porcelain cheek.

When he nods, you continue, cupping the mask in one hand to steady it while you undo the upper buckle.

Sal would be statue-like if it weren't for the nervous tremors in his fingers. The mask loosens and its weight drops into your hand. His breath does not come through the slits anymore and you can feel it breeze through the fine hairs on your fingers.

He says nothing and neither do you. Still, you place one more kiss on the forehead of his prosthetic and lower it from view.

Sal has his eyes cast away, but he faces you. There's a large scar across the right side of his mouth, splitting his lips and exposing his teeth. There's a dent on the right side of his lower jaw that leaves his bone structure slightly unbalanced, and the cartilage of his nose is completely missing. The skin has healed, stretching his eye and tugging on the rest. It's pinkish still, never quite settling into the rest of his olive-toned skin, and Sal understands why it's jarring.

It's like peeling back the layers of what makes humans...humans.

The skin. The sight of his face makes people unnerved. Teeth and gums and muscles and the lack of a nose. One side of his face was a plain canvas and the other was a goddamn Jackson Pollock painting of horror.

Your touch on his bare skin shocks him. The pads of your fingers drag across his cheekbones. "Does it hurt?" You ask with your eyes lidded.

"No, no, it...it doesn't." You smile and your thumb rests just under his eyes, sweeping fondly while your palm holds his face preciously within your hand. There's a flush to his skin — it's not unusual with how the prosthetic held over his face nearly 24/7.

There's a feeling of nakedness that comes without the even pressure across his visage but your hands are an amazing substitute.

"You don't have to be nice," he says. "It takes a lot to get used to — "

"I know I can't completely convince you to not think of yourself as 'something to get used to' but you're not. Not to me." Sal's eye water and he wills himself to finally look at you.

There's a pinch to your brows, it makes your eyebrows cast this shadow across your eyes and highlight the colours of your eyes. You're frowning at his self-deprecation, though beyond that he can see you mean well.

"I would gladly sit on your face, Sal."

He scoffs, groaning as he slips away from your hand to toss his head back and flop right onto the couch again. "You're fuckin' impossible, (Y/N)," he mumbled as his hands covered his face. You place the prosthetic down on the makeshift coffee table near the couch and chuckle as you swing one leg over his hips and rest your crotch over his.

"What? I'm being honest here!" Bracing your weight on your elbows, Sal finds the comfort of your body across his similar to Gizmo's. "You're fucking beautiful," he squirms at that and you huff, nuzzling your face into his neck while he peeks from over his fingers.

"You don't have to say that," you huff once again. "I'm not saying that because I have to, I'm saying it because I want to. You're fucking beautiful, me being your boyfriend is just a coincidence."

He feels you shifting and instinctively, his hands rest on your hips and there he is again. You know you shouldn't stare, so you don't, but the shy glances at his face are less than secretive. His eyes are blue, cobalt almost, and his eyebrows are a darker shade of his hair. The shape of his eyes is rounded, with a deep crease and heavy eyelids just like his father's. Lifting your head, you gaze down at him and your hands are once again gingerly ghosting on his skin. This time, they're tracing his collarbones, feeling up the protruding muscle of his neck and halting at his jaw.

"Can I kiss you, baby?" He has a quirk. A lip twitch that he does when he's excited; you've been dating him for years and you're still finding out new things about your boyfriend. It makes your heart race and it only triples in speed when he nods. Hovering, the peak of your lips ghost his. He had always envied how you kiss his prosthetic. It was an extension of himself but he hated how badly he wanted to feel you on him.

They press to his and Sal slips his eyes closed. It's nothing more than a peck. Innocent, chaste. But then he's tightening his grip and pulling you in; tilting his head like he's always seen other people do and you're grinning into it. He knows because he can feel it.

He can feel it.

How your lips spread, the hint of teeth that slide over his bottom ones, and the crinkling of your nose that's brushing over his cheek.

"You taste so good, pretty boy," your words make his ears red. "I'm sure anything is better than kissing porcelain," he replies with a breathless tone, leaning forward again as if unwilling to part from you even if just to talk.

"No, don't disrespect yourself like that. What did we say about making those jokes." "Hah, I'll stop when you do."

Giggling, you're leaning in again. Sal wonders if kissing you is the only reason he's not completely in tears. The first time he'd accidentally showed Larry his face, he'd cried because Larry didn't look away from him. You taste tears on your lips and Sal curses softly as he tucks himself under your jaw, groaning. You shush him comfortingly, threading your fingers through his hair as he takes a few deep inhales.

"I love you." Those words are followed by more tears and you squeeze him again. "I love you, Sal," he nods against your — his — shirt. He can feel the grin you have from the crown of his head.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

Because you did. Sal was the man you wanted to be with until the Earth decided to throw in the towel; it didn't matter how buried your love for each other would be, because when your bones are dug up, or his guitar, or the treasure trove of things you've called yours; in the future, when you whisper to those archeologists: "Do you know?" they'd nod and reply, "We know you loved him."

Sal has never felt love like this. One that felt overwhelming at first, the same way entering a body would be for the first time in your life, but once he embraced the feeling? It was so...fulfilling.

How lucky was he?

Sal pulls away to cup your face and he leans in. You meet him halfway.

The feeling of your breath, your heart thudding against his own chest, the pulse beating under his thumb as he holds your neck — Sal isn't sure if he'd ever get into heaven but he doubts it ever compares to you.

His jaw moves and your lips part as you press closer. Fuck, kissing him felt like drinking in sunlight. There's a freedom that follows it, leaves you floaty and blissful.

"I love you," he replies between the friction, teeth biting down on your lower lip if only to hear if you'd gasp. You do.

"I love you so fuckin' much, (Y/N)." There's a feverish desperation in his words. But it makes your heart swell. There's no doubt in his eye, nothing but the truth and the truth is he'd worship you.

You're kissing again. Eager to show him the explosions he sets off within you. Between desperate lip locking and messy tangles of tongues, his hands move down and up your — his —shirt.

Squeezing your sides as he drags his digits across your skin. It spreads fire across your planes, has your already uneven breath shuddering as he memorizes the shape of your body again.

There's a growing hardness between his legs. You can feel it — twitching below your crotch as he tilts his head and tastes the lust that perspires from your neck.

He's greedy with his mouth. How could he not be? Sal has been wanting to taste you the second he realised how badly he wished you were his.

"Fuck, Sal." You groan, chewing on your lower lip as he experiments with this unmarked territory. His tongue is warm, his teeth brushes over pumping arteries with an air of amusement; when he finds the sweet spot? The spot where your breath hitched as he kissed it?

Sal makes your blood vessels explode. It isn't enough that the hairs on your neck stand in attention because of him, or how your blood rushes to your head when he so much as looks your way. He's determined to show you he can worship you in more ways than one.

You're gripping onto his shirt and your hips grind down. The moan he lets out makes your cunt wetter than before.

"I need you," you tell him as he sinks his teeth in. Just to test it out, to see if you'd like it. You do. His back feels cold as you lift his shirt but he grips at your wrist, panting as he moves his head away so you can see him.

"Can I...Can I keep it on?" He already felt a touch too exposed. You nod, reassuring him with a chaste peck.

"I'm gonna take of my shirt. You've made me all warm," he smiles a bit too smugly. He's handsome that way. When he gets a bit cocky — it's a sure fire way to make your head dizzy with desire.

"My shirt," he mumbles.

But when your bare torso is revealed the sass is pushed away. Sal presses kisses on your chest, teasing your perk buds with his too-warm hands and relishing in the way you toss your head back when he takes one in his mouth.

"Sal, holy fuck." He kneads at your ass, making your hips move back and forth. Rocking your clothed cunt over his boner as he leaves hickeys and bitemarks.

Here is where I plant my love, he thinks as he feels your heart pound against your ribcage, here is proof that he's mine.

Your pants are pulled below your waist and Sal moves back, making you yelp at the loss of balance. One second you're over him and the next, you're both tumbling over the couch.

His hand cradles the back of your head, curling over you as much as he could when you crash. Thankfully, none of you knocked into the coffee table but the adrenaline of the short fall makes the both of you wide-eyed.

"Holy fuck!" You laugh breathlessly. He scans you for any injury but soon follows suit. "You okay?" His hair curtains your face from view as he descends to claim your lips again.

"I'm peachy, baby." Sal grunts as you tug at the waist band of his pants. "Don't stop..." and how could he say no to you when you look up at him like that?

Your hands invade underneath his shirt and Sal moans as you press your fingers lightly into his back, kneading at the tense muscles. "M'not gonna take it off. Just wanna feel you," you assure as you reach his shoulder blades. God, the feeling of your hands on his body made him feel so Holy.

Ironic in the grand scheme of things but it's not like Sal gave a damn.

It's your turn to mark him up. He often already is. But this time your lips latch onto the obvious places. Lifting yourself to sit, Sal is suddenly at your mercy as you lovingly bruise him up with your mouth.

Sal lifts himself off your crotch a bit, panting and moaning at your ministrations, and slips his hand down your pants. Your breath stutters as your boyfriend touches your core.

"Sal," you plead. "I know, baby. I know," Sal frowns when you whine. "What? What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"You're just..." You're breathing heavily as you stare up at him, nails lightly digging into his skin as your dick twitches against his palm.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Sal."

That catches him completely off-guard. He hates how tears immediately burn at his waterline but regret doesn't come when they travel down his cheek. You're kissing him and the self-depriciation doesn't once rise. That snivelling, hissing, voice of doubt remains mute as you hold him.

"So fucking pretty," he slips his finger in as if attempting to distract you with pleasure. It makes you keen but you continue to sing praises for him as he pumps his digits in and out of you.

It's hard to move when you curl your arms over his back, hands peeking from the stretched out collar of his shirt. Forehead once again pressed to his.

"I can't — "

"You're all mine. My pretty boy is all mine." Blood should not rush so quickly to one's head. His chest is dusted in red, his shoulders, his ear, the apples of his cheek —

"You feel so good, Sal."

You allow him to push you back, splaying out onto the floor with your eyes lidded in want as he looked at you.

"...Shit, you're making my brain go all stupid," he grumbles — it sounds more like a whine. You lift your hips as he tugs your pants down and off. Sal gets between your legs and for a moment you think he's about to just slide in — which causes you a bit of concern considering how much meat he's packing between his legs — but then he lays on his stomach and your cock peeks straight up.

"I've watched a few pornos," he says with a grimace, "but — "

"I can guide you, Sal." He's looking up at you with those doe eyes and you chuckle as you brush some of his hair back. "You made me cum from grinding on your goddamn leg before. You've got this, Sex Grandmaster Sal."

"Really don't think mentioning Larry's marijuana induced rambling is setting the mood, babe," your giggle smooths out the furrowed brows he had. "Sorry, sorry."

Your cunt is making his mouth water. Sal presses his thumb on your cock and the sigh you let out eases his worries. His tongue on your dick has you inhaling deeply, slowly, back arching off the floor as he looks up at you.

He's overzealous but fuck does it make you wetter than you've ever been. Licking and sucking on your cock while he teases the opening of your cunt with his fingers. The hints of teeth makes your hips twist but he holds your hips down with muffled groans.

"Fuck, yes. You're doing so good, Sal. S'fuckin' good — holy shit, babe," the way your voice gets all pitchy makes him grin. Your slick on his tongue is making him want more, so he spreads your lips apart and sinks his tongue inside, it makes your grip onto his head, and Sal moans into you at the pinpricks of pain that follow.

Fingers accompanies his tongue and you're clamping your thighs around his head. It forces Sal's face into your cunt and the whole thing has him chuckling against you.

Pinning your thighs apart, Sal licks and swipes at the slick around his mouth and chin, catching his breath as he curses.

"Fucking Christ, does it feel that good?" You whine in retaliation. "You're the one going down on me of course I'm going fuckin' crazy. You get all whiny when I go down on you too — "

He curls a finger inside of you and you cut yourself off with a particularly loud moan. The floorboards above you creak and like a deer lifting its head as a branch snaps in the distance, another follows as whoever was in the living room heard the echoing cries of pleasure.

Sal slips another finger in and you cover your mouth, glaring at his handsome face petulantly. It falters as he stretches you out, thrusting in and out with a steady rhythm that he occasionally breaks to curl his fingers up.

You're groaning and curling your toes, eyelids fluttering and squeezing shut as he jerks you off with his other hand. Loosening his jaw, Sal uses his spit to lube you up further. He had a thing for sloppy sex. You once joked he enjoyed the slick-and-slide of it all and he didn't deny it then and probably won't ever.

"Nuh - no, don't wanna cum yet, I wanna cum with you, baby," he slows his rhythm, staring at you as you lift yourself onto your hands and taste yourself on his lips.

"Want you inside me. Please, Sal, I'm beggin'"

"You don't have to. I've got you." He nods when you hold onto the waist of his pants. Pulling it down to his knees and let his cock spring out into the air. Fuck, it's a pretty dick.

It's fat and heavy. Thicker than longer, the girth always makes your toes curl. It's a darker colour compared to the rest of his skin tone, the mushroom tip a warmer shade that burns when you tease him too much. You motion for the couch and he leans against it, whispering your name as you hover over his cock.

"Fuck, you're so hot," he says as you pump his dick with your fist while you line it up to your cunt. "You're pretty fucking hot yourself, big dick," he struggles not to laugh in your face, shaking his head in 'disapproval' that's short-lived.

You sink down on the tip of his cock and Sal moans out your name, squeezing your hips. You shiver for a moment, willing your insides not to clench so excitedly when you've still got some ways to go.

"Shit, (Y/N). You're so fuckin' tight." You could not agree more. The more you go down on him, the more you're tempted to just squeeze him like a vice. Sal brings your face down to kiss him, very quickly becoming addicted to the feeling of it. It's no wonder teenagers made out in the hallways all the damn time.

Gravity helps you the rest of the way. When he's all the way inside of you, you part your lips, the way your eyebrows slope being felt on Sal's forehead as you clench around him.

"Fuuuuck, Sal" you're whimpering his name, arms wrapped around his neck as you look at him. "You feel so fuckin' good, baby."

He swallows thickly, reaching to push your hair away from your face as he gazes up.

"I love you, so fuckin' much. I love you, Sal," you're determined to make him turn into nothing but mush. He's certain of it. His insides felt like a field of flowers, all blooming at once, even if it didn't sense at all. There's an airy moan that escapes him as you squeeze your inner thighs, your hips move forward and Sal grips you like he's afraid you're just a figment of his imagination.

"I know, baby," he whispers back. "I love you, more than you can imagine."

A dopey grin appears on your face. "You think you can show me how much you love me, handsome?" He smiles and your heart feels like it's going to stop.

"I can do more than show you, pretty boy."

He turns you over on your side, not once pulling out. You hastily grab some couch pillows for the both of you before your descent onto the floor. It's cold but that's all the more reason to hold onto each other.

Once your head is on a pillow and you're on your back again, he drapes over you.

Another kiss. Another mischievous nibble. A sly dance of tongues.

Sal is pulling out, the drag of his dick makes you whimper, and thrusts back home. The action has your nails leaving welts on his back but it just reinvigorates him.

He's splitting you open and filling you up. Every thrust makes you see stars. You're unwilling to let him go if the legs wrapped around his waist are saying anything.

But Sal is growing flustered the more praises you tell him.

"That's it, baby. Fuck this pussy, this pussy's just for you."

"Fuck, you look so good, baby. On top of me, fucking me, shit — !"

"Oh, God, your cock is — yeah, right there! — you're in so deep, Sal -Ah!"

You're so fucking filthy.

He wants to hide his face in your neck but he doesn't wanna take his eyes off you. Eyes trailing where his lips and teeth had been, eyeing the sheen of sweat on you and your messed up hair.

The shower you just took had been in vain, huh?

"Fuh - fuck, I'm close," he warns, bracing himself on his elbows as he hovers above you.

"Yeah? Me — mff! — too. Cum inside, baby. Need to feel you — fuuuuck — dripping outta' me," he chuckles breathlessly at your words.

His hips are stuttering and he can see the way your brows are furrowing, angelic moan after angelic moan being knocked out of you. He gives your cock a rub and the way your back arches off the floor makes him hold his own orgasm back just so he can see you like this as clearly as he can take it in.

"Sal, oh fuck, baby!"

"I've got you, (Y/N)."

He chokes out a groan as he feels you clamping down on him, your cunt gripping onto him like it never wants him to let go. You gasp as he snatches your breath, messily making out with him as the aftershocks of your orgasm are barrelled through thanks to Sal's deep thrusts.

"Shit, shit, shit," you smile as he begins to lose his rhythm. Ignoring how sensitive your boypussy feels as he chases his end. "C'mon, baby, fill me up. Yeah, that's it."

He cums with one final thrust. The warmth of it floods your insides, earning pleasant shivers from you as you moan out his name. He's riding his orgasm out, pushing in and out of you shallowly as he catches his breath above you.

"Jesus, fuck..." You giggle at his words, chest rising and falling in rapid motions as your heart tries to calm down.

"That was, Christ, that was — " "Fucking amazing?"

He nods, falling on top of you as carefully as he can. You embrace him, humming as he kisses your neck while you rub his back. The both of you catch your breath, satisfied expressions etched on your faces.

When Sal moves, your eyes are already closed. He pulls out and you whimper at the loss, ignoring the way he stares at his own jizz dripping out of your cunt in favor of gazing at his face.

"We gotta take a shower all over again," he says, helping you sit up and accepting the hug you give him when you're righted.

"...Wanna do it all over again in the shower?" Your question earns a throaty chuckle. "Thought it was implied in my statement."

Another beat of comfortable silence is shared. Sal sighs, nuzzling his face into your neck.

"Thank you, (Y/N)."

"I've got you, Sal."

[euovennia]

I am yet again requesting headcanons for the 141 (or whoever you want <3) with a reader who has an angry resting face. And to add onto that, they are very expressive with their love but it comes off as aggressive (not on purpose) because they always look, you know, mad. Like when reader says "I love you," it sounds like a threat and really, they look like they wanna kill them, but they don’t.

whew, i'm so sorry for the wait on this! i took a small break from tumblr so i could focus on finishing some assignments i had for my classes, but they're all completed and turned in so i should be good for now! also i wasn't 100% sure if you wanted this to be platonic or romantic, so i tried to write it to where it could be interpreted as both. thank you for requesting and, as always, i hope you enjoy :)

warnings: none other than the fact that i don't know how to stop myself from typing more than i need to

summary: the 141 learns to adjust to life with their newest recruit; you.

john 'soap' mactavish

when price first introduces you to the group, he can't help but feel like he's done something wrong

and honestly no one can really blame him for feeling that way

the expression that paints your face when you make eye contact with him practically screams, "sleep with one eye open"

and while it is mildly terrifying, he only sees it as a challenge

because in his mind, if he can get the mighty ghost to warm up to him, he can get anyone to warm up to him

so as soon as price cuts you loose from the brief introductions, he's already right by your side pestering you with various questions

and while it was a bit off-putting, you weren't really surprised because price had already told you all about soap before he decided he wanted you on his team

so you just kinda stood there and let him fire off his questions while answering them with that angry expression and bored monotone voice that he can't help but love

like you're standing there, arms crossed with perhaps one of the most pissed off expressions he's ever seen in his life but all his mind can think is >:(

needless to say, he doesn't take your prickly exterior too seriously and it's because of this he's able to get closer to you a lot quicker than the other members do

and it's because of this he tends to vouch for you a lot more to the other members when it comes to getting to know you

"they're not that bad, i swear!"

"johnny, they look like they wanna rip your arm off every time you're near them."

"but they don't, that's the funny part!"

best believe this man is fighting for his life whenever your rbf gets brought into the conversation

and i imagine that one day you actually manage to overhear one of these little debates/conversations (tbh they could go either way with how divided they can be over it, especially when it's gaz vs soap)

and you can't just ignore the way your heart warms as you hear soap valiantly defend your honor

it's one of the few times you're genuinely thankful for his big mouth

after listening in to the conversation for a few more minutes you eventually decide to walk away, heart full and the smallest of smiles pulling at the edge of your lips

i think it goes without saying that you go a little sweet on him after that encounter

well

as sweet as you can go when you're the human embodiment of >:(

at least in the opinion of soap

you don't really see the resemblance tbh

anyway

you start doing little things for him

things like offering to take watch for him when you're both on a mission because you noticed that he hadn't really bothered getting any rest

sitting by his side and letting him ramble on about his family, especially how he always begged his parents to let him stay with his nan over the summer because she owned a little family farm that he absolutely loved to run around on

and even the time you learned how to make scotch pie using his mom's recipe he had tucked away in his room

no matter how much he may deny it, that last one had him tearing up as soon as he took a bite

but honestly, can you blame him?

the man barely gets to visit his parents back home because of his work and it crushes him

honestly, it was probably one of the first few things he confided in you when you first started talking

so naturally when price announces that the 141 has been approved for a two week leave, you don't hesitate in logging onto the computer and buying him the first tickets back to scotland

what you do hesitate with is actually giving them to him

so you decide to gloss over that part completely and instead opt for shoving the tickets inside an plain envelope with his name scribbled on the front and a small note that simply reads, "go." before sliding it under his door the night before everyone is scheduled to depart from base

the moment soap gets his hands on those tickets he can't help the way he runs through the halls and bursts into your room to give you the biggest hug you've ever had in your life

unfortunately for you both, you'd already left base by the time he discovered the tickets

and so with a heavy heart, soap makes his way back to his room before packing his bags with a new vigor

the plane leaves in six hours, but he's so excited he can't help but want to arrive early

needless to say those are probably the best two weeks of his life

and while the others are interested in hearing all about his trip, he simply brushes them off in favor watching the door so he can be there for the exact moment you walk in

and after making him wait more than what he felt was necessary, you finally walk in

and this man

the way he shoots up from his seat and runs over to hug you

it's almost enough to send you both flying to the ground

but luckily you've got some stellar balance and manage to save yourselves from being teased by the rest of the team

but with the way soap is squeezing onto you while repeatedly whispering, "thank you," into the nape of your neck, you don't doubt they'll make fun of you for that

even with the mild embarrassment you feel, you simply wrap your arms around the scottish man and offer him a few pats on the back

and as sweet as it is for the other men to witness such a tender scene, they can't help but notice how upset you look

it's almost laughable

and as much as they want to step in and tell soap to back off, they can't help but notice the way you cling onto soap with that soft look in your eyes

so they remain quiet as you and soap hang onto each other, hearts full of warmth

kyle 'gaz' garrick

i'm gonna say it now

out of anyone in the 141, he was probably the one most intimidated by you

he's the youngest out of everyone and so it stands that, naturally, he has less experience than others

it's for this reason i think he's so keen on staying close to price

i mean the man practically plucked him off the streets and said, "you're mine now," so i think it's reasonable that gaz grows a tad more attached to price than the other members

so when he catches a few glimpses of you around base barking orders at the recruits and slamming them into the mats during sparring sessions, he's not exactly dying to meet you

even so, he finds he's not too worried about the possibility

with how often the 141 departs base to go on various missions and how you always seem to be too caught up in whatever you're doing at the time to be bothered to even glance his way, he eventually comes to the conclusion that you'll never meet

until one day price strolls into the common area where he and the rest of the team are minding their own business with you trailing right beside him looking aggravated as ever

he's already a bit uneasy with the fact you now know where the team goes to relax, but that unease slowly shifts to downright horror when price reveals that you're the newest member of the team

now gaz is usually a pretty easygoing and friendly guy so any chance to meet and bond with new people is always bound to be a good time in his book

but he can't help the shiver that crawls up his spine whenever you're around

seriously, who or what made you look so pissed off all the time?

anyway

because he's so hesitant of being around you, he tries his hardest not to bother you

which basically means he tries not to be in the same room as you

and while you may not really notice or care, the rest of the team certainly does

especially price

he's the type of man who prides himself on having a team that knows they can all rely on one another on and off the field and so he'll be damned if you and gaz are the ones to ruin his little streak

so guess who gets assigned to accompany you and the recruits on your morning workouts from now on?

gaz!

and while he's not necessarily thrilled about the idea of being forced into such close proximity to you, especially first thing in the morning, he respects price enough to not question his decision and just ends up going along with it

and at first he doesn't really pay you much attention in an effort to not do anything to accidentally make you even more upset than he already assumes you are

but then he starts to notice something

he notices the way the recruits light up whenever they see you, whether it be during the morning workout sessions or when you're walking around base

and it baffles him because you just look so upset, he can't possibly imagine why they're all so keen on sending you wide smiles or enthusiastic waves

but one day he looks just a little bit closer and he can see the faintest hint of amusement on your face as your lips showcase the ghost of a smile

that's when he really starts to pay attention

and suddenly he can't help but feel a little ashamed of himself

because now he can practically feel his heart melt every time you interact with the recruits

like how you would bring extra ice-cold water bottles to the morning workouts for the recruits who'd forget to bring their own

or the way you wouldn't hesitate to slide them some money if they mentioned being hungry while you were around

and especially how you don't hesitate to lend an ear for them if they seemed to be troubled by something

it's in those few little moments that he can see just the tiniest cracks through your annoyed expression and heated glares

you're not angry at all, he decides, just real shit at expressing yourself

and upon deciding this, he realizes you're not so scary anymore

so now instead of avoiding you like the plague, he actively seeks you out

at first it's to help you out with carrying the extra water bottles for the recruits in the morning and planning the workouts for the week

but then it turns into him asking to sit with you at the mess hall over dinner and keeping each other company in the commons area

and as much as he tries not to, he can't help the giddiness that floods his body when you start to show him that aggressive love he sees you dish out to the recruits

shoving snacks into his hands when you notice he hasn't eaten in a while

quietly sitting with him while he goes through paperwork because you both know he has a tendency to get distracted

and his personal favorite, draping your jacket over him when you walk in on him sleeping anywhere that isn't his room

he always wakes up with a smile tugging on his lips

and despite how cold and distant you may look while doing these things, he doesn't give it much attention anymore

not when he can see the love and care that's reflected in your eyes

simon 'ghost' riley

despite you and ghost having similar exteriors, it becomes more and more apparent to gaz and soap that you're actually quite different

which isn't a bad thing, of course! just a bit unexpected

but it's because of this striking difference that you and simon tend to keep a majority of your interactions on the field

and you both are more than happy to keep it this way

gaz and soap however, are not

so naturally they put together a plan; a plan that consists of soap giving you his most treasured tactical pen so you can use it to write away in that little journal of yours on the ride back from missions just so he can later "confront" ghost and admonish him for stealing said pen

and during all this, gaz simply remains on the sidelines just looking pretty

anyway

after laying into simon for a good ten minutes, soap walks away from the encounter with a small smile before walking up to gaz and saying something like, "now we wait"

and they do wait

patiently

but after a full two weeks pass by and neither gaz or soap can find any evidence of their so called "master plan" working, they can't help but feel a little discouraged

unbeknownst to them, it totally worked

just not in the way they envisioned

you see, by the time soap came up to simon to lecture him about stealing his pen, ghost had already come to notice you scribbling into your notebook with it

so once soap had finally decided to leave him alone, he immediately confronted you about framing him for such a crime

but you just kinda stare up at him with that annoyed look of yours before revealing soap had willingly given it to you

and things just kinda click into place for the two of you; soap wanted to get you talking

and while you and simon had to admit it wasn't a bad plan, you didn't want to give the scotsman the satisfaction of knowing it had actually worked

so whenever you and simon find yourselves in the company of the rest of the team, you decide to remain distant

but when it's just the two of you?

you're straight chilling

especially when you visit him in his room or vice versa

like just imagine the two of you drinking tea that simon was nice enough to make and watching war movies while bashing all the inaccuracies and bad calls the characters make

or when the two of you are out and about on base free from the prying eyes of gaz and soap because they're out doing their own thing

you and simon love finding random groups of rowdy soldiers just to intimidate them

i don't know about you, but i can definitely see simon just standing there with his arms crossed and eyes narrowed while you rest your hands on your hips with your lips pulled into a frown

price definitely gets complaints about the two of you

he does nothing about them

and for a while that's pretty much the gist of how you and simon spend your time together

but i like to imagine that after a particularly rough mission, simon would seek you out just to sit with you

and i can see him as a stress smoker so when he finally does manage to find you and take a seat beside you, you slide him a pack of cigarettes and a lighter

he doesn't ask how you know his cigarette preference, but instead gives you a small nod of approval before pulling up his mask over lips and taking a drag

and that's how you spend your night

just sitting beside each other as you watch the evening sky gradually begin to fill with stars

i think it would depend on how bad the mission went in order to determine exactly how long the two of you stay sitting under the stars, but it doesn't matter because it'll end the same way; you reaching over and giving simon's hand a quick squeeze with a small, "get some sleep, simon. you need it," before you walk away

and he finds himself confused to two reasons

reason one: why did you grab his hand why did he like it?

reason two: how can you say such sweet words but still look so mad?

as much as he wants to play that moment over in his head just to make sure he was remembering things right, he decides against it in favor of heeding your words and getting some sleep

but it's after that moment he can't help but notice how your mannerisms have changed

not only are your words of reassurance more apparent than before, he's also noticed you have a tendency to give his hand/shoulder a reassuring squeeze every now and then

he can't help the small smile that threatens to pull at his lips when you do

but he also can't help but notice how distant and reserved your face looks when you do all of these things

he doesn't really mind it though

but he eventually does bring it up to you one day

it's probably after he tells you one of his god awful dad jokes

like he'll look over at you and notice your sour expression and say something like, "don't look so pissed, they're not that bad."

and you'll respond with a tilt of your head as you tell him, "i'm not pissed. i like your jokes."

then he'll nudge your shoulder before telling you, "with that face? coulda fooled me."

and you'll roll your eyes in faux annoyance as you brush him off with a simple, "that's just my face."

and then he'll look down at you, thankful for his mask so you can't see the small smile making its way onto his face

he might even say something dumb and cheesy like, "i know. i like it."

and you give him one of your rare smiles

and i could end it there and say the two of you are bffs

or i could sprinkle in something about soap running up on the two of you chanting, "my plan worked, my plan worked!"

that's for you to decide

[jjonglemons]

Stress Relief

2HO / NSFW

Warnings: drinking, switch, threesome, female anatomy, mirror play (?), choking, oral, voyeurism (?), some pet names (baby), fingering, unprotected sex (wrap it up y'all)

Hello, everyone! I just started writing smut recently. I'm not as descriptive as I want to be, but I'm slowly improving. I have two stories out on Wattpad, but I want to transfer them to Tumblr and continue here. After Yunho's fucking neck choreo on tour where he GRABBED THE DANCER'S HAND AND FORCED HIM TO CHOKE HIM, I was feeling some type of way so I wrote this (I want to expand on this in another story). But I'm also a Jongho bias so I was like.... Let's make this extra fun!

Enjoy :)

You, Yunho, and Jongho are overstressed from work.

WORD COUNT: 1978

I wasn't planning to be here, yet here I was. I had found myself alone in the classiest bar I could find. My day had been full of embarrassment in the office, and all I wanted was a few drinks and to remind myself that I am THAT BITCH. I deserved to splurge on a couple of overpriced cosmos and martinis tonight.

The bartender and I didn't talk much other than the usual "here's your drink" and "thank you." I think she could sense I wasn't in the mood for that and kept our verbal interactions minimal, though she often sent a smile my way. It was comforting amongst my shitty day.

I glanced around the space, my eyes landing on each person for a brief moment of curiosity. I wonder what their stories are. I thought to myself. As I nearly completed my rounds, I couldn't help but notice two beautiful men sitting in the corner. One was brunette with an intense look, yet he also emanated softness. He wore a suit and seemed to be reading over some sort of contract. The man beside him had dyed silver hair and a warm smile playing at his lips. His overalls framed his body well.

I must have been looking a little too long, because suddenly we made eye contact. Embarrassed, I looked away quickly and turned back to face the bar. I sipped awkwardly at my martini, trying not to ruminate on if I made them feel uncomfortable or not.

"What brings you here alone?" I heard a voice beside me. Startled, I bumped my glass, causing some of the drink to spill out onto the counter.

I heard a chuckle from my other side. "Careful," he said gently, grabbing some napkins to wipe up the mess.

"Thanks," I stated, then continued. "What are you two doing here yourselves? You seemed to be studying that paper, or whatever it was, pretty intently."

"You must have been watching us for a while." The brunette smirked. I opened my mouth to say something but was afraid I'd only embarrass myself further. "I'm Jongho," he added, "and you are?"

"Y/N."

"Nice to meet you, y/n, I'm Yunho," the other man said, reaching for a handshake.

I took his hand. "Likewise."

Jongho began to speak again, going back to my original question of what they were doing in the bar. "We're both working on a very big case these days. Super stressful, but it's been an.... interesting experience, to say the least."

"Lawyers?" I questioned.

"For 6 years." Yunho nodded. "And what about you? What do you do?"

"I work in advertising," I said, "and today's meetings were just an absolute mess I needed to unwind."

"Unwind, you say?" Jongho leaned over my shoulder slightly to pick up Yunho and his's drinks. I must have been so lost in the moment that I didn't even realize he had ordered. I felt his breath touch my ear, "I definitely feel that way, too. Must be something in the air," he laughed.

My body reacted stronger than I expected to him being so close. I couldn't help that my mind was now creating scenarios. Not only with him, but Yunho too. I didn't notice how sexy they were before. Seeing them up close was obviously very different than noticing them from afar in a dim bar corner. You know what, maybe a good fuck is what I needed. Oh god, what am I saying?

"Earth to y/n," I heard Yunho's voice, snapping me out of my trance, "are you alright?"

I cleared my throat. "Sorry, I was distracted by my thoughts."

"Must have been really good ones, you were biting your lip and looking at us pretty intensely."

I blushed and facepalmed. "I'm embarrassed."

"Don't be," I felt Jongho's fingers brush against my free hand, "if it's any consolation I've.... been having some thoughts myself throughout this conversation."

My stomach erupted with butterflies. He barely said anything, but damn, did he have a way with words.

"You know," Yunho chimed in. He leaned in a bit closer to me. I could feel my body temperature rising exponentially. "Our hotel is pretty well known for having comfortable beds."

His whisper sent shivers down my spine. And my god, was he driving me crazy. In that moment, I gathered up all of my confidence. There's no way I'd be completely submissive. I'm a grown woman, and I know what I want.

"Is that so?" I cooed, "I'd say mine's better."

"Oh?"

"Maybe we should see if she's right, what do you think, Yunho?" Jongho said slyly.

"I'll call a cab right now."

I smirked, placing cash on the counter to pay for all of our drinks. "Enjoy your night," I said to the bartender before quickly pulling the boys out of the bar with me.

"I like a woman who isn't afraid to take the lead," Jongho said once we were outside.

"I like to keep it fair," I replied.

The cab ride was short and sweet. VERY sweet. The three of us weren't afraid to tease until we got to the hotel. Jongho was so bold as to slip his hands under my dress and finger me gently. I knew how to be quiet, and thank god it was too dark for the driver to see us. Yunho nibbled at my ear, whispering sweet nothings. Him calling me "baby" in that low voice of his alone would honestly be enough to make me come.

I've never reached a hotel room so fast. Yunho immediately pinned me against the door before it shut completely, causing a loud slam to echo throughout the top floor hallway.

"Fuck," I said, breathlessly.

"I want them to hear us," he said.

Yunho kissed me briefly for a moment before pulling away. He gently led me over towards the bed where Jongho was waiting. Jongho stared at me, not breaking eye contact. He slowly began to unbutton his suit, biting his lip.

"Oh, you want to strip for me, huh?" I teased.

"Of course," he responded quickly, "have you seen yourself? Fuck, I've never been so turned on by anyone before."

"Is that so?" I inched slowly towards him, gently moving his hands away so I could continue undressing him myself. "I'll absolutely make this night worth your while; you can trust me."

"I do."

Once Jongho's torso was bare, I kissed him for a few seconds and then left a small trail of them on his collarbone before moving back over to Yunho. As he finished removing his shirt, I slid my hands around his waist from behind and undid his belt. I heard his breath catch in his throat. I watched him in the mirror in front of us, a sudden darkness falling over his face. "Did I say you could do that?" This was getting very interesting. He gripped my wrists to stop me from continuing and turned around so we were face to face.

Seeing as I am a bratty switch, saying that only pushed me to fight back. I pushed him back against the dresser, grasping his hands in such a way that I was now in control. "And what if I don't? What will you do? Are you going to punish me?"

He gritted his teeth, mustering enough strength to free one of his hands. He grabbed my chin and forced me closer. "I don't think you can handle what I'd do to you."

I tilted my head to slightly loosen his grip, biting the tip of one of his fingers ever so lightly. "You're underestimating me."

I felt Jongho's arms wrap around my waist. I smirked at Yunho, turning away from him and moving Jongho and I towards the bed. I went to lay him down gently, but he had other plans. Suddenly, I was pinned underneath of him. A darkness fell over his face, as well, and I couldn't help get more excited. I wanted them to fuck me into oblivion and I the same to them.

Jongho began to plant kisses all over my body, starting from my head. When he reached my shoulders, he pulled down the dress straps with his teeth. "Turn around and kneel," he demanded. I was so fucking aroused. He unzipped my dress and took it off in one swift movement. This guy's a pro.

I suddenly found myself blocking him from taking off my panties. He looked angry and I smirked. "Not so fast, baby, you should savour the moment." I glanced behind him, noticing Yunho watching us hungrily. He licked his lips and stood up to join us. He tried to take off my panties too, but failed. "My, my. You're so impatient."

I loved seeing them become more aggravated the more I teased. I could tell they wanted to devour me and it was almost time to let them.

I finished undressing, then grabbed both of their pants at the hips and pulled them towards me. "Take them off." I commanded.

"I refuse." Yunho teased.

I laughed, reaching to grab his neck. "You can't do that."

"Seems like someone's a bit of a hypocrite. You need to wait a little longer."

The next few minutes were a blur and before I knew it, I was deepthroating Yunho while Jongho fucked me from behind.

"Fuck," Jongho said between thrusts, "you feel so good, baby."

I paused with Yunho for a moment, and giggled, "I know I do." I continued rubbing my hands along his cock, inserting random licks on the tip every few strokes. "Yunho, babe, what do you want me to do to you?"

"I-" he whimpered, being so entranced by the pleasure he could barely speak, "fuck- I want to feel you, too."

Jongho gave a final thrust with a loud moan. "Hyung," he smirked, "she's all yours. I want to watch for a bit."

Something about Jongho watching as his best friend fucked me was extremely hot.

Yunho had me face him with my legs over his shoulders. I propped myself up on my elbows so I could watch him pound into me. "Yunho," I groaned, "holy fuck, you're so-" he hit the spot perfectly, "Fuck!" I screamed. I didn't realize how loud I was getting, but hearing Yunho match my moans just made me want to get even louder. He grabbed one of my arms and forced me to choke him.

"I want you to take all of me," he begged. I took that as my sign to show dominance. I flipped him over so I was now the one on top. He gripped my wrist hard, making sure to keep my hand around his neck. The more he moaned, the faster I rode him. "Come for me," I said.

"Yes, baby- fuck!"

He kept getting louder and louder until he orgasmed. His body was shaking so intensely that I nearly thought he was convulsing.

"Holy fuck," he exhaled, "where did you learn to do that?"

"I'm just a natural," I winked. I kissed him gently, then slowly raised myself up off of him.

"Jongho," I called. His eyes were full of lust. Consuming that pleasurable experience with his eyes left him wanting more. "Come taste me."

Without hesitation, he hovered over me and trailed kisses down to my clit. I moaned, gripping the sheets. "Baby, that feels so good."

"You taste amazing," he exclaimed. He continued swirling his tongue on me, pushing me closer to the edge.

"Don't stop, I'm going to come."

Just then, I felt two fingers slip inside me. I saw that Yunho had joined to finish me. He continued to finger my g-spot while Jongho sucked my clit. "Fuck," I inhaled sharply, beginning to feel my body convulse with immense pleasure. I let out one final, loud moan as I reached my climax.

"That was... incredible." I grinned, the boys falling on their back beside me.

"I've never been fucked so good," Yunho admitted, nuzzling his head into the nape of my neck.

"I could never top this," Jongho laughed, turning to spoon me from the side.

"I mean," I started, glancing at both of them, "I'm down to do this again."

[stellar-solar-flare]

The Literary Universe Of StellarSolarFlare

Welcome to my little library of fanfiction! Please note that my blog is a 18+ only space, and all content is intended for adults only. Minors do not interact - you are not welcome here and will be blocked.

I currently have my requests CLOSED. My side blog with only fic updates is HERE.

Reblogs, comments, thoughts, asks and everything along the lines are very welcome! I also welcome constructive criticism, emphasis on constructive. My replies to things might be delayed due to life & using the queue function (although my tagging of queue posts is inconsistent at best), so it's definitely not personal if I don't reply immediately.

FIVE LATEST WORKS: Equinox - CH10: Trophy Wife | S.R. | Explicit A Fairytale Of A Disaster - CH3: The Royal Castle | S.R. | Explicit Volatile - CH3: Debrief | S.R. | Explicit | Completed!Volatile - CH2: Flammable | S.R. | Explicit For Centuries - CH18: War Council | S.R. | Explicit

About my writing:

mostly Steve Rogers x Reader and Steve Rogers x OFC (some Bucky Barnes /Reader and Tony Stark/Reader thrown in too!)

Readers that tend to be described as smart, intelligent, slightly socially awkward types that often have STEM-related jobs in-universe.

romance, romantasy, and healthy relationships, usually combined with an action-adventure plot.

Slow Burn, Protective Steve Rogers, Idiots In Love, Mutual Pining, Forced Proximity, Pretend Relationship, Chosen Family, Fluff & Hurt/Comfort, and Fix-Its.

If you were around during the 'Everyone lives at the Tower' era, I never really left that place: Most of my work takes place in an AU where SHIELD fell right after the events of the first Avengers movie, and something called The Avengers Initiative, funded by Tony and strategically led by Steve took its place.

I am a longfic person at heart. For logistical reasons, my really long longfics live on my AO3 - the links on this list that lead to AO3 have a little (AO3) after them. I don't have plans to post all my past work onto tumblr, but my fics on AO3 are open for guests, and guests can leave comments too. I will also make a post on tumblr when I update a story that is on AO3.

HALL OF FAME - my own favorites!

For Centuries (AO3) | Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader | Explicit

As the only daughter of King Howard Stark of Richford, you have always known that you are expected to eventually enter into a political marriage. When King Howard attempts to save his kingdom by marrying you off to the conqueror of half the world, you accept the responsibility bestowed on you. But as you arrive at the court of Emperor Steven the Righteous to be wedded and crowned the Empress of the Centurial Empire, your husband-to-be is not what you expected.

Reader is the daughter of Howard Stark and his second wife, who is not named or described. This is a 'From Political Marriage to Love Marriage' story, featuring lots of romantasy elements, court politics, and protective, righteous Emperor Steve Rogers. The 'Touch her and I'll kill you.' vibes are strong with this one. The slowest of burns.

WIP - 18/x chapters published.

Astronomical Odds (AO3) | Steve Rogers x Reader | Explicit

When you met Steve Rogers, the spark was definitely there, and the way you two hit off made one thing lead to another. But the consequences of that night will reach a lot further than either of you thought. Because now that you're pregnant - despite the astronomical odds - you and Steve need to navigate the situation after having known each other for exactly one night (and the two and a half weeks he spent off the grid on a mission). That wouldn't be an easy thing to do, even if he wasn't a superhero and you weren't trying to become the next Nikola Tesla (or Tony Stark).

So, people really need to stop implying that this is sign you two are meant to be, because honestly, it's just a mess. And Steve really needs to stop proposing to you.

An accidental pregnancy fic with lots of chosen family themes, and Steve and Reader figuring out each other and the upcoming baby situation. Heavy on romance, fluff, and not only Steve but the rest of the Avengers, too, being protective and caring of Reader, who is a literature nerd studying to be an aerospace engineer. Features some discussion of medical realities of pregnancy, and some supersoldier biology related issues.

WIP - 24/x chapters published.

LONGFICS

A Fairytale Of A Disaster | Steve x Doctor!Reader | Explicit

Reader has been stood up by her Valentine's Date. Or has she? Romance, fluff, meet-cute, hurt/comfort. WIP, 3/4.

Equinox (AO3)| soft dark mob boss Steve Rogers x superpowered Reader | Explicit

When you’re caught in the crossfires of a war brewing underground, Steve does what he has to. And as you get pulled deeper into his world, it may very well turn out that starlight can scorch, too. A dark romance story about a woman scorned and a man who is so much more than he seems. WIP, 10/x.

Volatile | Steve Rogers x Scientist!Avenger!Reader | Explicit

Reader has been subjected to an aphrodisiac while on a mission. Steve and the medical team attempt to find a solution. Smut with feelings, eventual fluff, eventual happy ending. Complete, 3/3.

ONESHOTS

Warmth | Steve Rogers x Chronically Ill Reader | Mature

Steve is the most caring husband and the best heating pad in the world. Even on the bad days when you don't feel easy to love. Hurt/comfort, established relationship, protective Steve Rogers. 1,771 words.

Worthy | Steve Rogers x Reader | Mature

You and Steve Rogers have been dating for a year. When a journalist is out to get you, you will have to stand together and come out stronger. Romance, angst with a happy ending, fluff & hurt/comfort, protective Steve Rogers. Reader has past trauma and unspecified mental health issues. 2,045 words.

(This list is a work in progress and will be updated as I publish more things on tumblr!)

My taglist is open! Drop an ask / reply / reblog and I'll add you on (must be 18+ to join). Let me know if you'd like to be tagged to all fic, Steve fic, just a specific story, etc.

[thefaiao]

Do you remember what hooked you on the LISA series? It's a decently impactful set of games so I'm curious as to why you've created so many drawings from it

A great question. I don't think I can answer this with absolute precision, but I'll try. I'll begin explaining how exactly I first got into drawing LISA, and we'll work from there to the reason I believe I am still compelled to draw more of it.

I first played and finished LISA at the end of 2016. I was decently active at that point, but hadn't garnered much attention to my drawings. I had made a Hotline Miami post that had gotten decently popular, and a few Yogscast(1)(2)(3) drawings that also did decently well, but overall nothing super noteworthy. Most Yog fans at the time weren't into what I liked mainly, which was Shadow of Israphel.

I was immature at the time, so had a hard time connecting with people in fandoms. Not to mention, I was a Brasilian in a sea of Americans and Europeans. You'd be surprised how hard it was to relate with people in that setting, but I tried here and there.

I felt pretty strongly about the HM post though, since it felt like a great personal achievement. I felt a drawing I had a clear vision for had achieved what I set out to do with it. Seeing how much people liked it, it was pretty magical when you've never had a post "do well".

Anyway, people were hopping out of tumblr and onto twitter, and I did as well. Twitter, despite everything, sort of puts you way closer to other people. Your reply to someone important is very visible and hard to ignore. It was a type of equalizer. There I had gotten to get my drawings actually seen and shared by Austin, the guy who made the LISA games.

Having had my drawings shared and recognized that way had a strong impact on me, and I even got to talk with an artist I really looked up to at the time, Maren, who had also gotten into LISA. She had done art for SBFP and TF2, so it felt surreal to me to be acknowledged by someone like that. Up to that point I really felt like more of a passive observer to everything.

In 2014 I finished high-school, and 2015 I spent the whole year learning how to draw better. I tried so hard that I ended up dissociating, a very scary emotion, that I didn't even know was a thing at the time. It felt like all that time and effort was starting to pay off, and that there was a way forward here.

First I posted sketches, and the passion I had for the game and motivation from the recognition led me to put a lot more effort than usual into my drawings. I ended up making these, which got really popular, it was very validating.

So because of all that I kept drawing. I'll be honest, a lot of the time I just wanted to get even more of the attention of these weird new cool popular friends that were paying attention to me for some reason. I was very lonely at the time. I think I stayed lonely for a long time after too.

But eventually people move on, as is normal with fandoms. I didn't really feel my passion for drawing and LISA die out though. I had started a massive LISA art project at the time, that took me 5 long years, and also was more focused in college, where I did Game Design.

Drawing wise, eventually I branched out to other RPGmaker games, but LISA was very easy to draw. It was sort of a home-base for me. Something I could come back to when I was uncertain.

I think Urasawa put it quite well, with Billy Bat:

Drawing the same characters over and over is extremely rewarding, and a great way to reflect on your progress so far. I suppose it's meditative, but that's not quite the right word. It's very fun and constructive, and people can also keep track of your progress through that. I did the same with OFF characters, a game I had drawn way before all this.

Of course, I had a lot of issues because of how things developed. I related a lot of my self-worth with the validation I received from people online, and I still do, to an extent...

When I started taking the game I'm making, Meanderer, more seriously, and started living alone, posting anything felt awful. I didn't have the energy for bombastic posts, or the time spent developing the way I draw the characters like I did for LISA, that is, with ease and style. It felt very humiliating, but I understand it was a warped view of things.

It was a long and depressing time in my life, but it taught me a few important lessons, and made me sort of re-evaluate how I engage with "online" overall. But I still liked drawing LISA throughout all of this, I almost felt ashamed of it to a certain point.

All of this isn't to say I didn't love the game itself. It wasn't all just context. I really, really love LISA. It drove me to sobbing tears, which I don't think another game has gotten out of me. It's a fantastic game, that really showed what fresh things you could do with the medium. When I played it I'm not sure I fully understood how much I loved games.

I just grew up with the characters of LISA. Maybe not in my adolescence, but definitely in my adulthood, and with my art. These characters help me orient myself, understand my limits. And it's damn fun to get better at drawing them. Even just a character on an empty blank canvas, with only black and white lines. It's the most fun in the whole world.

To finish it off, I have a general philosophy of not republishing drawings. So whenever I want to do a LISA post I have to draw a LISA post. Just keep drawing and drawing. Don't get hung up on one drawing or idolize one thing you did. Keep making things. It doesn't have to make sense. Just keep drawing.

(There was a power outage while writing this and I had to retype this whole damn post by the way. Appreciate it!)

[moonchild-in-blue]

Vessel and the New Lore

So the new messages got me thinking and connecting dots. I don't know coherent this will sound, but I think there's something here? Anyways. Something about the relationship Vessel has with himself vs. The Mask.

I thought it'd be interesting to link the parallels between the Room Bellow show and the Fall For Me video messages, with the new ones and the album. Long post ahead so I'll put a cut somewhere.

(This is the second time I'll be writing this cus tumblr decided to be a hoe and deleted my entire draft so if it seems weird, you know. Pro tip: never use the app for long posts.)

Disclaimer: I'm in no way endorsing or encouraging any type of discourse about Vessel's irl identity and/or other [Redacted] and such. Unfortunately I do know things, but not everyone does. Respect the band; don't spoil it for others. If you know, keep it to yourself.

So, starting with the first message:

Mask: Why am I here? What is my purpose in all of this? Vessel: Your purpose is twofold. You protect me, from them, and you also protect them from me. Mask: How is it that I serve to protect anyone from anything, that makes no sense. Vessel: In order for all of this to work there has to be a certain boundary in place. They need to be able to project themselves onto this, without anyone else's identity getting in the way. In turn, I need to be able to show my true self to them in a way that does not compromise their ability to connect. Mask: So that's what I am? A boundary? Vessel: Yes.

We have here a confirmation of what he has told us many times before, either indirectly or not. The Mask/the Vessel persona serves as a way for him to connect and engage with us, while keeping both parties safe. We get to project onto and take from him some sort of comfort and catharsis, without any external factors to influence and skew the way we interpret his music, and He gets to expose and deal with his pain and negative thoughts in a protected environment. Who he is is irrelevant, we're merely here to share and understand each other.

Through the anonymity the mask offers, he is free to be as vulnerable and open with us as he wants, while keeping his identity safely stored away. The Mask serves as the physical reminder of how much we are allowed to know about him, and in return, how far he can (or should) expose himself without compromising his true identity. By living as Vessel and forgetting himself, he is ironically free to bare his most fragile and imperfect parts of himself on display (much like how we're all infinitely more honest about our struggles behind a fake online name than in irl.)

(curiously, this seems to be a contradiction to Higher's second verse, which feeds into the idea that Sleep is not the protector Vessel sometimes claims Them to be - "With all that you believe / You still refuse to shelter me")

From the Room Bellow:

"I experienced a great deal of pain in my life, however I do not believe I have suffered as you have suffered. Perhaps that Is another reason why we are here. At the very least, we have all suffered."

Lore wise, we are told time and time again that Vessel is a "sacred guardian", a messenger, a weapon, a tool - a physical vessel - for Sleep and Their message. He is the answer to Sleep's necessity for connection with us. And for that to work, he willingly gives up his identity for Sleep. For us.

Mask: I don't believe you. I believe there is more to it than that. I believe you are afraid of something. Vessel: We are all afraid of something, are we not? Mask: What is it you are so afraid they will see? Vessel: That I am exactly like everyone else. ... Vessel: I think I am afraid of becoming you. Mask: What does that even mean? Vessel: My life is becoming gradually consumed by you. Before long, all that I am will be contained within you. Then, one day, when I no longer wish to wear you, there will be nothing else left.

"I am afraid, are you afraid? I want to understand what it is to let go." (Fall For Me)

At the end of the day, Vessel is just some guy - he fears, and aches, and bleeds the same as us. We're equals. But as Vessel, he can't allow himself to crack, to break the illusion. As Vessel (and to connect to the lore, as the vessel of a god), he poses as someone we can look up to, someone who's there to carry our pain for us, almost like a symbiotic relationship of sorts - we feed on each other's emotions and energies.

From the Room Bellow:

"To love oneself is not the easy task we are sometimes told it is. (...) My own path towards greater self acceptance is paved with the art that I create. It is a path I continue to stumble down at the expense of everything else."

Without getting too much into it, it seems Vessel/Sleep Token were created as a sort of coping mechanism to deal with whatever it is that He went through. And he seems to have achieved that - he escaped his former self and became "Vessel", someone who's allowed to cry and rage and let his feeling loose. Someone who receives praise and comfort for it, someone who is finally understood.

Except that somehow, that same safety the Mask offered him backfired. Because how can you tell what's you and what's not? It appears that the lines between Vessel vs. Him have blurred beyond recognition. Because "Nothing lasts forever", so once ST ends, and Vessel is no longer a necessity, who does he become? Can he go back to his old self? Is there even a self to go back to?

Do you ever believe that we can turn into different people? It's getting harder to be myself. Do you wish that you loved me? Could we ever release? Is it better to just not feel?

I think it's worth mentioning DYWTYLM. Usually when I listen to it, I just interpret as being about self-love/esteem, suicidal thoughts, insecurities, yada yada yada, BUT! I think it kinda fits this right?? Like a conversation between Vessel and Him, the guy behind the mask.

And really, if you think about it, I think this dialogue is the basis of what TMBTE is. It's Vessel facing all these different facets of himself, the past versions, the ugly sides, coming to terms with them and learning to move on. And in the end, we see he finally does realize, albeit somewhat reluctantly, that there is more to it, than he can "be someone new", even if it means he needs to shed and let go of past versions of himself.

(of course, this is putting aside the whole trilogy and the story we've been told about Sleep/Vessel/Whatever romantic entanglement he was involved in. i'm merely giving this some other meaning and choosing to look through a very specific lens. call it a parallel universe if you want)

It's him accepting that although there may not be a version of himself to come back to, his Eden so to speak, there is finally something more waiting for him. But I'll get more into it later.

Also worth mentioning, this part of conversation-

Mask : Do you think they want you to cry? Do you think they like it? Vessel : Not as such, I think they just want to know that I am feeling something, feeling what they are feeling, perhaps. Mask : Do you think that this amount of crying is healthy for you? Vessel: I don't know. But at least I feel something, if I don't feel anything than why would I even do this?

-seems to be directly co-related to those lines on DYWTYLM. He wonders if maybe would be better not to feel at all, as if really asking himself, "should I continue to live as Vessel?", because that is his/The Mask's function.

(I almost forgot to mention the "Smile back at me" / "I can only ever see them smiling. That's good, I want them to smile." co-relations, but you see where I'm going right?")

Mask: It seems you have forgotten who you are. Before you had me you were nothing. All of this artifice, all this pathetic conjecture about your identity, it is nothing but a manifestation of how short-sighted and solipsistic you have become. I lifted you from misery and obscurity. You would be better to become me. You are nothing without me. You always were nothing without me.

"I am nothing without this music. I am nothing without this mask." (Room Bellow)

Sleep is a dickhead. And there it is - another confirmation of what we all assumed, of what he has also told us many times before in different words. Vessel, or better yet, Him, struggles with imposter syndrome, and a part of him seems to believe his worth is exclusively tied to his ability to create music and perform. Because who matters is Vessel, not Him. The praise and adoration, the glory, belongs to solely Vessel (in-lore, to Sleep).

He does not matter. He is insignificant. He is nothing.

So it makes sense to see how much he wishes to be someone else. How dependent he on his Mask (on Sleep). He can't shed that new identity away, because somehow, it became is ONLY identity. And yet, he knows that one day that must happen. And from a creative/artist standpoint, when you expose yourself the way he does into your art, almost bleeding into it, if that outlet is taken away, you really are left with nothing.

(yall, read the poem "about the PEN conference" by Bukowski).

"The truth is, I am ugly, I am inadequate, I am lost. I am no God." (Fall For Me)

And can I just say, how incredibly heartbreaking it is to hear him talk about himself like that? I have so, so much love and respect for Ves, it's almost ridiculous to think he is only worth the weight of his mask. I would give him a million hugs if I could. Whether or not he still believes that, I hope he one day can look at himself the way we do, and be proud and happy of the amazing human that he is.

I also think that, and this is just me rambling, their sudden explosion to fame must've taken some sort of toll of sorts. It must be SUCH an amazing feeling to see this many people connect and dedicate themselves to something you created, to be able to read between the lines of you thoughts, but it must just equally as scary. Suddenly there's SO many eyes on you, demanding and picking apart every gesture. Viciously clawing at the mask for a glimpse of the fragile soul within. It must not be easy to cope - and this goes to everyone in Sleep Token. They have to deal with so much unfairness, it's disgusting.

Vessel: You. Are. Wrong. In the end, my fractured sense of self was only another piece of fuel for the fire that burns in the eyes of these people before us. They too are pained. They too not know who they truly are. They are each stood alone on a stage of their own. And yet, they are here. United by that sense of never truly belonging. They see something beyond their own bleak horizons. And they reach for it. Together. So let us join now. To reflect their joy and to serve as a conduit for their anguish. To swallow their fear. To Worship.

"So for now let me serve as a living drama of your pain. If we are to be submerged then let us be submerged together." (Fall For Me)

And this is the part that really breaks me. He knows how much we need this, how much we rely on his music, on his words. He fights against his own claims that he has no value - he serves a purpose and that purpose is to serve the audience. Us. To take our struggles, our desires, and make it his own. To basically serve as a sacrifice for our well-being. To suffer, to feel together. To serve as a living drama of OUR pain.

"I will smile through the agony for you".

Because in the end, we're all equally broken. Because that's what the Mask is for, the anonymity, the mystery, the band - for us to "project ourselves" onto him, onto them. They are vessels, servants, worshippers of a god who shelters them; much like how we interact with their music, much like how Vessel thinks his purpose is for.

(and I could expand on this weird worshipper vs worshipee cycle, but i'm tired and i can't ramble on for too long. someone more clever than me feel free to expand)

(a post edit: peep that "fire that burns in the eyes of these people before us" vs "those eyes like fire, I'm a winged insect, you're a funeral pyre" parallel. Vessel sacrificing himself to us, for us. Performing and being Vessel as something he cannot but feel compelled to do.)

From the Room Bellow:

"We are here to silently collect. To project ourselves onto one-another. We are here to remember. We are here to forget."

WHICH BRINGS US TO EUCLID.

No, by now The night belongs to you This bough has broken through I must be someone new

If we are to take the messages as a complement to the album, then this definitely marks the "shift" in Vessel's perspective. He CAN be more, and he NEEDS to be more. To be new.

The night does not belong to god - it belongs to US. To Him. Not just Vessel, but Him. Obviously this is all speculation, but it really feels like he's ready to let go of so many things, and move on. To renew himself, to stand up and fight. To finally "bite back". He doesn't seem to be completely changed, as there are things he still seems to hold on to (just listen to Euclid). But it´s different now. The "vicious cycle is over."

"They see something beyond their own bleak horizons. And they reach for it. Together. So let us join now."

Vessel seems to emphasize the "collectiveness" of what Sleep Token is and represents quite often. So in a way, it´s him saying "We´ve all suffered together, we've all experienced so many things together, so let us reach for something better as one. Let us all become new. You are not alone in this, and neither am I, so hold on to us and be happy."

WHICH IS!!!!! JUST!!!!!

I think this shift represents something important. My guess, like many others have said, is that Something Big is going to happen in/after Wembley. I don't know what, I don't know if it's truly the end of the road for ST, as many speculate, but something is definitely going to happen. Whatever it is, I hope this is a positive change for them, and specially Vessel, and I am just so so grateful to be part of this amazing community of ours.

(if you read the whole thing, I love you and thank you and I'm sorry. My brain was itching real bad and this had to be let out. Don't take this a proper analysis or whatever, this is me squeezing excess water off the old rag that is my mind)

[luckykiwiii101]

I’m turning off anons! Lmfao the audacity y’all have to bully me. Post it with ur actual account then. I’m literally just 15. I’m just trying to help people manifest their dream lives and you are just bullying me. Now how is that what i get in return for wanting to see people succeed?! Wow. I’m also still on my own journey to manifesting my dream life. I created my blog to spread what i’ve learnt. And i’ve learnt so much since i came to tumblr. I’ve entered the void state a few times but struggled to be aware. The times where i’ve entered and woken up in the void state aware is when i had no clue what it was! I made that clear ages ago!! Stop trying to accuse me of lying! Tf?! Why on earth would i lie? What would i gain from lying?! Tell me?! Just because of your disbelief in your ability does NOT give you the right to come on my blog and accuse me of lying! PATHETIC! Also if you’ve manifested your dream life i doubt that you would still be roaming tumblr reading posts about how to manifest your dream life. The idiocy. And to say that “It’s not bullying”. Bro yes it is. Tf. How about YOU go learn what bullying is. It wasn’t a one time thing, multiple people are ganging up on me now. But carry on. Low lives.

+ Calling me rude? Okay! Of course i’m not going to respect people who disrespect me. Tf? Want me to sugarcoat it and act like a princess? Want me to just let them disrespect me. “Oh sorry, i’ll do whatever you want. You’re right. I am a low life and an embarrassment and a liar”. AS IF! I’m none of those things and you know it. You’re just reflecting your assumptions about yourself onto me! LMFAO the irony. If you really hate me then go block me and stop reading my posts? It’s that simple? I’m not here to convince you that i’m telling the truth. You can choose to believe in me or not. It doesn’t change the fact that i have entered the void state. Want me to take a picture of my void state and send it to you? Tf? Loa is based on faith and you want proof? You don’t even have faith in yourselves. You need picture proof for everything don’t you?

+ I’m going to stop posting. Unless they are success stories. I’m not giving you guys any more advice. I’m sick and tired of the people on this app. I honestly never thought i would be one of those bloggers that would be bullied on this app. I’m turning off anons so i know that half of you won’t want to send your success stories and i’m fine with that. You can priv message me and if you want to be anonymous i’ll crop out your username and pfp.

Edit: NO WAY!!! I was just abt to turn off anons and decided to look at my inbox and someone accused me of faking the success stories?! WHAT?! I’m sorry what?! They said “it’s you down to the way you type”. WHAT?! That is the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever heard. It’s disheartening. I actually felt the pit in my stomach when i read that. People just assuming the worst about you feels horrible. But it just shows their lack of disbelief in themselves. I did not crate my blog to chase clout wtf?! Why would i spend 2+ hours perfecting my posts so you guys can read them. All that for clout?! I think NOT.

Look at these:

(The way they’re all anonymous says a lot).

+ The amount of bloggers you guys have done this to is CRAZY. Smh 🤦‍♀️

[journalsouppe]

The Touchstarved DEMO by @redspringstudio! I had so much fun replaying this DEMO over and over, I truly cannot wait for the full release. The art is gorgeous, the writing is excellent, and I am surprised at how much I really loved each character, I expected to at least hate one or two of them like with My Next Life lol. I highly recommend checking out the DEMO if you're a fan of otome games or gothic stories!

The DEMO can be found here on itch.io or here on steam! All the stickers are from different Hallween stickerbooks from Michael's Art Store ^^; (ngl I think this is one of my favorite spreads, I even did do some studies of the color/rendering fhdjsf)

Writing typed below! (plus extra notes)

Rating: 9.5 (demo score - great demo) Played: Sp 2024 Port: itch.io Play full? Y YES!!!!!!

Comments:

First Route: Origin - Unnamed. RO - Leander

love you have a choice of 3 origins

GORGEOUS ART!

this game made me realize I do really enjoy otome games and not as a joke or for irony lol fjdkfal

from initial appearances I like Vere and Mhin ^^;

all the gold on the angel doctor is so gorgeous

killer music

okay I thought I wouldn't like Leander but holy shit --

LMAO NOT HIS SEX ROOM

LETS go I got the special Leander option on the first try

I need to do studies of this art oml I need my art to look like this <3

DAMN, now I'm bummed I missed the kickstarter, I would LOVE the art book

I need the stickers too esp for when I journal the full version

not only do I like the art, the writing is very good too

Vere is so pretty...

I LOVE all the fun marketing lore and illustrations on the Red Spring Socials

ooo damn does Vere have a red option or did I do his route right without one

only three red choice dialogue. 4 recently for Kuras (no Vere)-- Vere has one now!!! Kuras and Vere should have them whenever the DEMO gets an update ^_^

I'm learning I'm good at making the correct decisions lol

I honestly didn't know you could die until after I finished Vere's route (2nd route I did correctly -- 1st was Leander) and was curious what submit surrender did (aka I didn't die initially but went back to see what would happen(

LMFAO NOT MHIN BLUSHING WHEN I TELL THEM OFF pfft

LMAOOO and now Mhin is scolding me

amused with who has slept with who

deathly curious on how fucked up Leander will be

Kuras's nose!!!!! <3

I love the concept designs of Sen and Elyon, I can't wait to meet them

LMFAO 'BASTARD'

ngl I love Ais's mullet

This should not have been one of my first otome games bc now my standards are so high, esp in regards to character design

I wonder if the flashing soulless in the title screen means we'll see more soulless in the full game (than just the one)

okay damn I also really like Ais, these are some really well written characters

LMAO I was not expecting this music for Kuras

oh interesting I didn't realize Mhin's red choice was during your first encounter if you're an alchemist

okay Kuras is very silly and goofy 10/10 guy

ooo good theories about Ocudeus and control on tumblr - "obedience" -- reference to someone thinking the "obedience suits you" line on Ais's character card was actually from Ocudeus not Ais

Summary:

I thought when playing more otome games it would be really hard to beat My Next Life, simply because I am a huge fan of the source material that preceded the game. But wow, with the way this game is setting up plotlines, the full version of this game could easily make it onto my top favorite games list. Otome games are all about replayability, and the way just the DEMO is so rich with content and alternating paths makes me so excited and hopeful for the full game's release. I am bummed I got onto the Touchstarved train late and missed the kickstarter, but hopefully a shop will open around release bc I'd kill for an art book. The art is just so gorgeous and I cannot wait to do some studies, especially with color and rendering. Before playing otome games, I like to look at the character profiles beforehand and predict who I'd like and dislike. And I am very delightfully surprised that any initial dislike I had of characters all but vanished because the writing and personalities of these characters were so well made. I thought I was going to hate Leander but he ended up being the character I'm most curious about. Although I would say my least favorite is Kuras simply bc I'm not a fan of romancing doctors, I am still curious about his background story and connection to the others. In other words, great character who is just not my type. I am also delightfully surprised at the "vulgarity" in this game without being overly explicit -- I have grown so tired of how sanitized a lot of games and shows have been that it's always really nice seeing indie companies play by their own rules. I am so glad I stumbled across this game!! At this point I've done every route favorably but haven't tried all the "wrong" options -- more to play whenever I think about how excited I am for the full game! I've also seen the sneak peaks of an upcoming update ^_^. Highly recommend the game!!

[imsoquarky]

Hi, Hello, I need to talk about Bruce

This beautiful man right here <3

IDK how much of this to consider spoilers for Trolls Band Together, so I'm doing all of it!

♠️ - ♣️ - ♥️ - ♦️ SPOILERS FOR BAND TOGETHER ♠️ - ♣️ - ♥️ - ♦️

Y'know, Branch's purple haired brother who's my favorite of his brothers for a few different reasons that I'm about to spew onto Tumblr at an unreasonable hour?

Okay so, Bruce is my favorite, and I think it's bullshit that the wiki calls him Spruce despite that not being his name anymore.

Trans headcanon? Maybe. Anyways!

I love how Bruce is written for many different reasons, I also love how he's handled when it comes to his body type.

1 minute before going on stage, JD says he expects 100 more crunches before show-time, which is insane considering Bruce (I know that's not his name at this point, but that is what we're calling him) has already done over 500, and 100 crunches in 60 seconds? I don't think that's even possible.

Ofc this is who JD is as a character, BUT THIS POST ISN'T ABOUT HIM, he's just a walking ick.

I can't imagine this kind of treatment, which is implied to have gone on for quite some time...

...would give anybody a positive view of their body. I'm not going to add things on to make JD a worse person, even if I don't like him, but from what bits and pieces we do see, he puts more emphasis on Bruce's physical body than any of his other brothers.

For his other brothers, it's more about their clothing and personality presentation. Bruce? The emphasis was his body, abs specifically.

It's not like he wasn't proud of them, but I feel as if they were another thing that still connected him to JD. All the brothers changed things about themselves that JD put emphasis on (Except Floyd, ig?).

But I'm straying away from the point I was trying to get to.

By the time we see Bruce again, he's lost the abs and put on some weight. However, this is not treated as a bad thing. Which I absolutely adore.

He's still perceived as attractive!! No jokes about "letting himself go" or even any jokes about putting on weight because he got married or whatever.

He's not muscular anymore, he's more laid-back and lives on VACATION ISLAND FOR FUCKS SAKE! He doesn't appear to have such a rigorous work-out routine anymore... Except his kids. I'd say having children 3 times your size would be intense.

Speaking of his children...

THIS MAN HAD THIRTEEN CHILDREN??? My man, why

But I digress.

Also, not only is him being plus-size not treated as a joke or a negative thing, but

HE STAYS THAT WAY!

Genuinely he makes me so happy, you guys have no idea. I love him.

Anyways, some smaller tid bits that I love about Bruce~

THIS MAN'S HAIR <3 <3 <3 <3 I will explode. ALSO THOSE BANGS AAAA

Him and his wife ughhhh <3 They're so goddamn cute.

Also we have a similar taste in women, which is "tall".

There are too many screenshots of his kids I could share, but I love dad Bruce.

This fucking quote.

It lives rent free in my brain and I laugh like a child every time I hear it.

Probably my #1 favorite quote from the entire movie I laughed so hard

Look at how cute he is here

Him looking so proud of his baby brother

Anyways it's 1 am and my alarm is set for 7 so ima go to bed. I have negative points about Bruce too that I do wanna touch on at some point, but I just needed to dump all my love for him.

This is my coping mechanism for finals week.

[theunbrightside]

(this is not a fanfic, if that is what you are looking for, please scroll on by)

hello everyone, i would like to put my two cents onto the internet for everyone so they can look at the perspective of my own thoughts. alot of people are not going to LIKE this, but, whatever your two cents about this topic is also appreciated! you are totally free to put your opinion on this topic as well. however, your opinion will not be considered valid if you did not read the entire post.

TLDR: please dont pretend to care about minors on your blog if you use "minors dni" or "age in bio" it is NOT the correct way to combat minors. infact, its stupid. you cannot use "minors dni" as a way to combat minors. you also cant use "age in bio" as a way to combat minors, its dumb and as an adult, you should know that it's dumb, which really makes me question if alot of fanfic writers are actually the adults they claim to be.

given that the statement is true, there are two possible options for the people who use this statement on their own blog; they are either REALLY oblivious, or they don't care about minors in their spaces as much as they say. to be honest, i think they care more about how many notes they get.....they just also want to look like the good guy at the same time. before i start the yap session, i would like to make it clear who i am blaming and adressing in this post, if you are not mentioned, you do not apply..... i am blaming ADULTS who write PORN and PRETEND to care about MINORS reading their content when they don't use the NEEDED PRECAUTIONS in order to keep them out.

I am NOT saying you need to care about minors reading your content. As long as you are following the rules of tumblr, you can post whatever you want. you also need to understand that it goes the other way around, people can read whatever they want to, that includes the contents of your blog.

if you DO care, you can't be fucking stupid about it, you need to take the VERY IMPORTANT REQUIRMENTS in order to do so.

minors, i know you read the porn on tumblr, and you can because alot of the adults don't care about you reading their content. however they act like they do, which makes me angry if you think you are mature enough, you have the ability to do so. this is not meant to target you, it's meant to target the adults for trying to act like a saint while being the problem at the same time, okay? (tw large amounts of opinionated yapping. oh boy i might be ambushed for this....oh well)

given that obliviousness is one of the options here, i will explain my standpoint as to why it is stupid. this is tumblr. and alot of you are writing porn around a fandom that gravitates towards minors, especially certain anime. ESPECIALLY ones like my hero academia, demon slayer, jjk, those type of things. YES, i am aware adults also watch anime, and some adults want to read porn about their favourite characters in said anime. but do you want to know who reads porn about their favourite characters more than adults do? MINORS! and because most of you have a really airheaded way of combating minors, guess who the main consumer of your content is??? MINORS! it's mostly minors reading your content, sorry to break it to you. and i have decided to point the finger here, people who write about MHA are the absolute worst when it comes to this situation. because not only are you creating a toilet paper wall to "stop" minors from reading your content, you are writing porn where the fandom is pretty much all teenagers and some young adults. AND ON TOP OF THAT! MOST (keyword most) of the characters you are writing porn about are literal minors in the show! LIKE??? i personally dont care too much if it stops you from writing porn about ACTUAL children....but like...please do not pretend to care about minors reading your content it pisses me off if you actually want minors out of your blog, I have a solution for you! let me help you! Solution, promote your writing with SFW content only on your tumblr blog, and put your NSFW content behind a wall that requires age verification. you have multiple ways to do that! for example, use something like patreon, or if you want to bump it up a notch, use something that requires genuine age verification, like an ID. the down side? you won't be as popular, infact you'll most likely be unpopular! and you will realize how little the amount of adults in your blog are, because your likes will be VERY LOW on your nsfw content. but.....that's okay! as long as minors aren't in your blog! ....right?

[cantwritethetword]

Biceps? Really?

Fic Descript: Superman finds out Batman has a very odd ticklish spot, and of course has to tease Bruce half to death over it.

~A/N  - HELLO ONCE AGAIN

Look at me being somewhat consistent with uploads SDJFHKALSDFJHKH amazing what meds can do

I've had these requests in my inbox for aaaaaages (im so sorry) and I feel like I can finally write something for them.

Prompts were:

Please excuse the typos and the "it's ok that this will be s(H)ort" cause that was back when I was like super burnt out AND unmedicated lmao so I was like OH JUST A LIL FIC YOU CAN DO IT but this will be a proper one lmao

Also lmao forgive me for the super boring title I couldn't think of another one.

EDIT: ALSO AGSKAGSKAGD ILL HAVE IT BE KNOWN I USE DARK MODE ON MOBILE THIS WAS ON MY LAPTOP AND IDK HOW TO GET TUMBLR TO BE DARK MODE ON LAPTOP HENCE THE WHITE SCREENSHOTS THANK YOU THAT IS ALL

- Enoy! ~

Tag List: @constanteyeburn

Masterpost Link 

"I still..." Bruce huffed as he lay on the floor, glaring at his partner. "Don't get... why you're still so surprised... every time we do this."

Clark, the absolute puppy dog, was still beaming after launching yet another random tickle attack on Bruce. Since first discovering the Batman's hilarious (and quite frankly adorable) little weakness, it was like crack for Clark. Any time he had the opportunity, he launched himself at Bruce and just started squeezing. And, because Bruce was just that damn ticklish, the poor superhero couldn't last ten seconds before crumbling into a flood of chuckles.

"I don't know." Clark grinned. "You don't seem like the ticklish type, is all. Never have."

Bruce rolled his eyes, before starting to stand up. "I am not the ticklish type."

"Uh, oh yes you are!" Clark laughed, reaching to grab Bruce's arm. "And where do you think you're going?"

Normally, Bruce's response to this would be a swift bat (hehe) at Clark's hand to push it away from him as he stood, and an even swifter escape before Clark decided to go for round 2 (it had happened before, and Bruce swore he would've passed out if Clark hadn't taken pity on him).

But this time, whatever way Clark grabbed Bruce's arm, sent electric shivers coursing down Bruce's side. Bruce let out a yelp, and half-collapsed onto one knee.

Clark gasped, his face like a kid on Christmas morning. "No way."

"Clark." Bruce's eye's widened as he pieced together what had just happened. "That wasn't-"

"Wasn't what?" Clark interjected, pulling Bruce closer to him using the aforementioned grabbed bicep.

The tugging motion pressed Clark's fingers right into Bruce's muscle again, forcing a symphony of strange noises, squeaks, and choked laughs out of the absolutely screwed superhero. As Bruce fell, Clark expertly manoeuvered him onto his back (for the second time that day) so that Clark could kneel on his forearms.

"What the hell Kent?" Bruce grunted, pulling his tough-guy facade over his currently anxious and flustered self. "Let me go."

Clark chuckled. "Oh no, we're investigating this."

Bruce cursed under his breath. He remembered Clark's methodical tickle monster days all too well. When Superman himself had him pinned to the floor with no hope of escape, and took his sweet ass time tracing and prodding with various numbers of fingers on any tickle spot that came to mind.

This time would be no different. Clark began with his thumbs, massaging small circles into the very center of Bruce's muscle.

And holy fuck did it tickle.

Bruce's entire torso tried to lift itself off the floor for a moment, his eyes wide in shock at just how bad it was, before his body slammed back onto the floor and flailed. His legs kicked a ticklish drum beat as the highest pitched giggle either man had ever heard escaped his lips.

"Wow you're ticklish here!" Clark laughed over the noise. "I can't believe this is even possible!"

"SHUTUP!" Bruce shouted between bouts of hysterics, twisting his hips from side to side to alleviate the torturous sensations.

"Seriously though," Clark continued as if nothing was even happening. "Ticklish biceps? You've got to be kidding me."

"CLARK!"

Superman nodded to himself, resting his hands on his thighs. "You're right, you're right, it's time to move on to something else."

Bruce gulped in mouthfuls of air before registering what Clark was implying. "No-... wait-..."

Ten feather-light fingernails touched down right above Bruce's armpit and paused for a moment, soaking in the anticipation. Clark didn't have a chance to start moving before Bruce broke into deep streams of laughter.

"Really, Batman?" Clark taunted. "Breaking that easily?"

"Fuhuhuck ohoff."

Superman rolled his eyes, before trailing down Bruce's biceps from elbow to underarm. That singular smooth movement upped Bruce's laughter by a few pitches, a good sign for what was to come.

Clark lifted his hands and reset them back to their starting position on Bruce's arm, before letting his fingers begin their descent once more.

Except this time, each finger took its turn to softly trace up a few inches before lifting and straightening again while his wrist moved further to Bruce's elbow. Like two gliding spiders, Clark's hands pulled downright squeals from Bruce.

"NOHO!" The Batman pleaded. "I CAHAN'T- CAHAN'T TAKE IHIT!"

Smirking, Clark tutted. "Oh come on, you're usually so tough!"

But, now that he thought about it, Bruce was rather red by this point (and not just from sheer embarrassment). And while it certainly was fun tormenting the usually far too stoic superhero, the fun could wait for another day.

Clark wasn't forgetting about this any time soon.

[tyetknot]

I thought you were joking when you said that the Farrar's books were outdated but holy shittt, even for 1970s wicca/witchcraft those guys were like full gender heterosexual white magic ye harm none thing, I was also seeing their interview were christian kids interview them, and boy it is hard to watch, but on to my question kskk, do you know if they changed later down?,like Janet seems to be okay sometimes,I can't find anything of them on their "controversial views" except their later polyamorous relationship (wich come to think of it I would love to hear their gender rationale on that), and also, how do you personally (if you do so) reconcile this type of author?, like there is no doubt that they are important in craft history, but now they kinda do more harm than good.

Hi Anon! I'm sorry if you've been waiting for a bit, you know how Tumblr is.

So one thing it's important to remember is: back in the 1970s and 80s a religion where women run the show was very progressive. Feminism got bolted onto Wicca pretty quickly once it hit the American West Coast and Starhawk wrote The Spiral Dance. Things like worshipping a goddess who didn't need a man around to tell her what to do were really unusual for the time. All this hippie-dippy shit like being naked in your rituals and such was far out, man, not like those totally square and boring Christians.

The problem is that, like many older people who were once cool and progressive, they just kind of stopped where they were in the 70s and 80s and didn't really......well, progress past that point. This leads to things like statements like that one in A Witches' Bible where they think that actually gay people are perfectly OK in ritual (this was a bit of a controversial point at the time) as long as they act like their biological gender, which is hilarious to us in 2024 because they obviously conflate being gay with being trans in some bizarre fashion. This was progressive for the time. It comes across as incredibly ignorant today. And of course, if their ideas did change, well, the book is already out there, people are reading it, and you can't go back in time and change something that's already been published. You can add notes or amendments to further editions, but I don't believe they ever did that, and Stewart Farrar died in the early aughts.

I find the polyamory thing to be pretty cringe, NGL, because I am a judgmental and suspicious piece of shit and think that an awful lot of the time polyamory is a tool used to make younger women sexually available to older men - good Lord, the age difference between Stewart and Janet - and that's very distasteful.

In my opinion the Farrars are probably the stodgiest and most conservatively-written books you'll find from that time period, and they're a good example of what coven-based Alexandrian Wicca looked like at that time, but there were a lot of more relaxed writers out there at the time and LOTS more a few years later. My primary complaint with A Witches' Bible is rather specifically that asinine Oak King / Holly King thing which they made up entirely and then ineptly shoehorned into the Wheel of the Year, where it just doesn't fucking work, and then everyone else just kind of went with it. No! It sucks and is bad, don't do it!

Do I think they do more harm than good? No, I don't. I think that anyone fairly new to Wicca shouldn't read this book first thing out the gate because it sets a lot of very unrealistic expectations, and because it's pretty old - Eight Sabbats for Witches was published in 1981, which makes it a few years older than me, and The Witches' Way in 1984, which makes it a year younger than me, and TBH there's much newer and fresher material being published every year. I would much sooner recommend someone like Thorn Mooney to new person interested in traditional Wicca.

[ddejavvu]

the ultimate boyfriend james potter in my head will forevermore be big beefy rugby jamie because that is SO boyfriend material so here i am projecting <33

James with a bestfriend (wink) or s/o that has cold hands 90% of the time. like, cold hands and cold feet . but cold hands so it takes so long to text back sometimes if they’re out n hes like “oh god am i in trouble she’s been typing for three whole minutes now” but it’s literally just ice fingers taking ages to work

very clear image of him being like - like you’ll both be out somewhere so he’ll ‘accidentally’ brush ur hand but when he notices how cold it actually is he drops all coyness and he’s just like “bug what??? ur hands r freezing why wouldnt you tell me 😡😡👎” while he’s blowing into em and then he gets to use the excuse allllll the time to hold ur hands cus he’s just being a good friend, wouldn’t want ur hands to freeze off! (even if ur hands r warm like ur sat watching a movie he’ll just hold em, and if u give him a look he just :]] )

oh god he’d probably also use it as a way to flirt even harder. like he’d notice ur hands are ice and ur maybe sat on em to warm em up so he’ll drop in a cheeky comment about how his tummys(abs he means his abs feel em it’s okay) always super warm and to use it as a heater. okay fine 🙄🙄 my arms are red hot too, go on, i suppose u can use them instead and ur like “james i am not going to feel u up” and he just :]

he definitely sends u lovey dovey taylor swift songs all the time cus he heard u humming one ONCE. he sends u wonderland, enchanted, U BELONG WITH ME, invisible string, lover, cardigan (he makes a playlist with these + others on and ur sat there like ‘🤨🤨🤨 is this..platonic?’)

(other honourable mentions on the playlist that I love and James would think he’s so sneaky and smart for adding: vanilla baby by billie marten, here you come again by Dolly Parton, uptown girl, build me up buttercup, hopelessly devoted to you, be my baby, i know it’s sapphic but he’d add she by dodie, cant take my eyes off you, my kind of woman, kiss me) n he would jokingly sing them to u randomly even when he knows you’ll get embarrassed and try and escape the area as soon as he starts up but that then gives him a reason to silly sing and hold onto u so ur now close to him, in his arms, and he can see u all cringing and embarrassed but at least ur attentions alllll on him [ie you’ll all be out at a pub and you hear the first four words from “cant take my eyes off you” come out of James’ mouth and ur immediately up n ready to bolt]

i thjnk i just enjoy the pining too much so all of this is James Potter Pining Pre Relationship thoughts because as nice as relationships are, the little bit before them is so sweet too <33 especially when reader is a bit blind lmao like UR SO STUPID HE OBVIOUSLY LIKES U (sirius would definitely shout this repeated from the get go, he’s like “babe he added paper rings and willow by Taylor fucking Swift to ur fucking COUPLES playlist after hanging out today - all he did was make moon eyes at u as he rubbed ur hands pls OPEN UR FUCKIN EYES” and Remus would have to redirect him cus he’s going a bit red in the face from lack of oxygen 💀💀)

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

--

BIG !! BEEFY !! RUGBY !! JAMES !! i actually got this ask like.. 9 seconds after u sent it.. bc i was obsessively refreshing tumblr while waiting for my dad in the car.. and the way that i giggled and kicked my feet and twirled my hair and skgsndjfanfkskjnakfnSNGKSJFNJFSND every single thought you send me scratches my brain in just the right way, i know when i see you pop up in my inbox i'm in for the treat of a lifetime <333

ICE FINGERS!!! i swear my poor best friend has to wait 20 minutes for little responses, i totally identify with that <33 no sometimes he just calls you like 'honey baby love darling are you hurt? are you okay?' and you're like >:(( i'm cold >:((

“bug what??? ur hands r freezing why wouldnt you tell me 😡😡👎”

he totally gets snippy about it!!! like 'that's my job, y'know, as your best friend. can't believe you'd lie to me.' / 'i didn't lie?' / ' you didn't tell the truth either!'

so he grabs em and gives em a good rub, and you swear you're about to short circuit when he raises them to his lips and blows hot air into them, rubbing them together with his own large, calloused ones <33

LMFAO SGKJDNFD NO BC he's like did u know my abs r actually so warm. they're a heater. biceps, too, it's a natural heating pack. and oh, god, don't get me started 'bout between my legs- and ur like JAMES!!!! NO!!!!! but he's >:)) why not sweetheart, afraid you'll like it??

HEHE i don't listen to much of her music but i know a few songs on there and yes, they're all on my james playlist!!! he slaps 'em on there, definitely plays love story at parties so he can kneel and pretend to propose to you and if you do not say yes he gets so butthurt. but not mean butthurt, pouty butthurt, and you'll have to rub his back and promise you didn't mean to hurt his feelings <33

NO BC SO MANY OF THOSE SONGS ARE ON MY JAMES PLAYLIST??? he's a loverboy fr, and he can't stop embarrassing you in public by singing to you. it's two birds with one stone, yk? one because he gets to basically confess to you, serenade you in front of a crowd and treat you like a princess the way you deserve, but two, because you always get all flustered!! and it means that you'll bury your burning face into his chest so no one can see you, and he can spin you around and sing about how much he adores you :')

no you are so right!! that's why i love slow burns so much, because the build up is so sweet!! i shit you not, the majority of my roommate!marauders fic plans are literally just reader and james growing sickeningly close and pining all the time because it's what i want in life!!! james potter loves hard and he should love me.

LMFAO SIRIUS IS LIKE REALLY.. REALLY BABE? AND I THOUGHT REMUS WAS SLOW ON THE ROMANTIC UPTAKE.. he definitely locks you in rooms together or ditches you on walks or pushes you into james so the big beefy guy can catch you <3333