#but also there is no rhyme or reason as to why i'm answering your asks in seemingly random order

[juuheizou]

yo we know that juuzou doesn't really talk about his feelings but do you think w a significant other like mutsuki he would perhaps be more open?🤔 do you imagine they having late night deep conversations and moments of emotional vulnerability? if so, how does that go? like with all development he's got, how does juuzou talk about his feelings/vent and is open to emotional comfort? how do these moments happen?tysmm in advanceee💘

I don't think it will ever be his first instinct-- he just reads to me as someone who tends to try and pick apart his problems and figure out what to do about them on his own, on the occasion that he realizes he has a problem, and more than being particularly reserved, he just doesn't think to share and involve other people unless there is something practical he knows he needs from them. But I can see that being a skill he gets better at, specifically with Mutsuki as his partner in practicing it more.

Mutsuki, as we know with other characters, can not just read people who do everything in their power not to be read, but has the kindness and the empathy-used-for-good to engage with them in a way that can literally calm the savage beast. Suzuya might be another hard read, though in a different way than Urie, but especially once they grow close, Mutsuki can tell when he's upset behind the nonchalant smile and when a simple 'do you want to talk about it?' can dramatically alter the course of how Suzuya was going to handle whatever is bothering him. And it's not like he actively avoids sharing with people he trusts, so a lot of the time all Suzuya needs to open up in that way is for someone to put the thought in his head.

When Suzuya does talk about his feelings, he is a fun mixture of open and direct while also experiencing legit alexithymia and just not having the same emotional reaction to some things that his peers do. He might struggle to label his feelings as happy, sad, angry, and sometimes all he knows is what he wants to do about them. So I can see Mutsuki gently insinuating the idea into his head that maybe they should talk about something, then Suzuya just drops a bomb like 'this other senior investigator I'm stuck sharing this case with has been barring all my ideas. Sometimes things were easier when other people were just something to stab hundred times and watch them die,” or “I put down this cat I had for three years, and Shinohara probably isn't gonna make it just like my cat, so maybe I would like curling up and dying too,” as casual as someone says they've been feeling a little down lately.

Mutsuki is just as kind and (even if he doesn't really understand, he will fake it until he does) understanding as ever and will follow whatever lead Suzuya gives him deeper and deeper. Sometimes Suzuya's way of articulating his feelings can be hard to hear, but he still musters up a calm 'that must be so sad to go through all at the same time. For what it's worth, I would really miss you if you curled up and died.' And they just keep going back and forth talking until Suzuya feels better or gets worked up enough to beat up one of his pillows or throw a stuffed animal or something cathartic he needed to do to start feeling better. His arms are open when Suzuya gets all his thoughts out and needs a hug.

Suzuya is a smart cookie in his own way and can usually figure out solutions to things he can in fact solve (and work himself up into meltdown-level frustration trying to solve things he can't) on his own or with just an opportunity to talk himself through his thoughts with someone who will listen, but if he is really stuck enough to seek out an answer, which is REALLY stuck because underneath his outer appearance of indifference he is REALLY stubborn about things that actually matter to him, sometimes what he needs is a more Mutsuki-like idea for what to do. He always has a solution, sometimes unsolicited and unwanted, when Mutsuki has something to cry on his shoulder about, and in turn Mutsukki does his best to offer suggestions.

The first time he comes to Mutsuki on his own just to talk, Mutsuki definitely noticed it more than Suzuya did and really took it to heart that talking to him is on Suzuya's list of ways he can fix his problems. And, at that point in their relationship, that he actually has things of value to help Suzuya with, rather than Suzuya always coming to his rescue for nothing in return. I can see them occasionally having deep talks late at night or at the dinner table. Not super often, but I can see it happening when a situation at work or in life demands it.

[strbymacaroon]

Silent Love: Ch. 1 - New Roommate(s)

⊹ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐ Chapter One

Master-List: Here!

Read on Ao3: Here!

.・゜゜・ ｡･ﾟﾟ･ ╰┈➤ Sukuna x Reader

⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Sypnosis:

When moving out of your dorm and leaving your eccentric roommate goes to shit, you're offered by one of her friends to move in with him... for free! That is, if you don't mind living with two completely opposite college boys.

However, life isn't that easy, and there's a hot asshole around the corner to piss you off. Especially when he's always up late at night when you're studying, purposely trying to get on your nerves in the most perverse way possible.

You hate him.

⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Genre:

College/Modern World AU. Multiple parts.

Shameless Smut, Thin Walls, Mildly Dubious Consent, Roommates Fluff and Crack, Slice of Life, Kinda Slow Burn, Oral Sex Vaginal Sex, Slight Age Difference, Degradation Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Enemies to Lovers, Spit Kink, Angst, Hurt/Comfort.

⁎̩͙ ⁑̩͙̩͙ ⁂̩̩͙͙ Word Count: 14,003

･ ｡ﾟ☆:  *･ November 13th, 2023 ☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Monday

“He was so big.” Nobara shivers, a small smile gracing her lips. “I know he was totally texting other girls behind my back and shit, but that dick was dicking.” She points aggressively at nothing, merely trying to make her point stronger. 

“Ew. Can you not tell me that right now? I’m eating.” You turn away from her, twisting your fork in your noodles, “I was gone for a week, and this is what you do in my absence. You should be ashamed of yourself.” You take a bit of your food, but immediately follow it with a sip of your Sprite. Adding a cough with a very suspicious word that rhymes with shut. 

Nobara playfully glares at you, “No girl, you signed up for this when we became friends, you need to know.” Nobara leans her head down on the table, biting her bottom lip. “I’m telling you, I miss my stink-stink.” She pulls out her phone, “Maybe I should text him…” 

“I don’t want to hear you crying about him anymore.” You scold, pointing your fork at her accusingly, “I can’t deal with your sobbing when I’m trying to go to bed because he broke your heart again.” It’s the reason you're moving out, actually. 

That's being mean, it isn’t the reason why you’re moving out. But, it definitely is one of them. 

A playful smirk slowly builds on Nobara's face, “It won’t be my emotions I'm crying over.” She laughs as you roll your eyes. 

“Okay, that’s enough for brunch today.” You shut your Panda Express box closed, “Call me when you're no longer in heat so you can help me pack.” You grab your tote-bag, slinging it over your shoulders. 

Nobara pouts, “Awh. I can’t believe you’re leaving me already.” She pushes herself away from the table, trailing behind you. “I mean, I’m not stopping you, but who would want to leave me?” 

Obviously you do. 

“Are you moving in with your parents in the meantime?” Nobara asks, tilting her head at you. 

You shake your head, “No, I already have an apartment contract. Rooming with this random girl who goes to a different school.” You sigh, “It’s a bit far for my comfort, but the view to the city is gorgeous. Couldn’t pass it up.” You’re going to have to deal with taking public transportation from now on, but that’s a new risk you’re willing to take. 

“Yeah, my new roommate is moving in on Monday.” Nobara sighs, “I don’t even know her name yet…” 

“That can be a good thing, maybe you’ll make a new friend to tell you sex stories to.” You smile at her kindly. 

“No, I swear if you cut me off after you move out I’ll go and kill you myself.” Nobara accuses, a finger pointing at you scoldingly. “You have to have lunch with me everyday now that I can’t see you.” 

You may be mean, but you’re not that mean. “Of course not, I would never leave you. I wouldn’t give up your answers for Anatomy and Physiology.” You tap her nose, grabbing her hand and pulling her next to you. “Also your wallet for amazing food.”

“Good to know all I’m good for is homework answers and food.” Nobara groans, yet tightens her hand around yours nonetheless. “Next time I swear I’m going to let you figure things out on your own. No more puppy eyes when you don’t want to do the homework, or when you’re hungry.” 

“That could be a good thing. Except the food part.” You mutter, an amused smile slowly building on your lips. “I’m sure my future patients will appreciate me learning the curriculum rather than copying someone else.” 

“Agreed.” She leans her head on your shoulder, hugging your arm. “Hopefully you’ll be able to pass the final without me. I don’t know if I’ll be able to pass life without you.” 

You lean your head atop of her’s, sighing softly. “You’ll be okay, next thing you know your next roommate is going to be reenacting you when you tell her your sex stories.” Sure, Nobara is a hard person to get along with and can be quite brash, but you still enjoy her friendship nonetheless. 

Nobara pauses for a moment in thought, “Wait? Do you want me to call my friends? They can also help you pack.” She smiles wickedly, “We can make them do the heavy stuff because we’re just..” She dramatically places the back of her hand to her forehead, “Weak little fraile women who can’t do anything without the fear of breaking a nail.”

You look at your nails, seeing that they were freshly done, a cute white set with small jews sparkling in the sun. “That is a genuine concern of mine, though.” You lower your hand again, being careful not to snag it on your bag. 

“Even better.” Nobara smiles, tearing her hand away from you and pulling out her phone to open her messages. “Here, I’ll call them and ask for help.” She clicks someone’s contact before you can even answer. 

“No, please don’t.” You tell her, watching as her finger hovers over the call button. “I don’t even know these people and I’m asking them to do stuff for me, that’s going to make me feel bad.” You press your lips together, “Maybe if they were my friends… but it’s okay, I’ll have everything done.” 

Nobara waves you off, “Nonsense, it’s not like they have anything better to do.” She laughs, “Hell, they’re probably just laying around waiting for me to call them to give them something to do.” Her finger presses the call button, you immediately cringe. 

The phone rings once, before the line is picked up. Nobara looks to the side, “You busy?” You can’t hear the other side, but she smiles and quickly adds, “No you’re not, stop being like that. Come help me pack after class.” She ends the call, shoving the phone into her back pocket.

“I hope they don’t come.” You whisper, only to pause, “Oh my god! Shit, I completely forgot I’m supposed to meet up with my professor right now!” You pull away from Nobara, panicking, “I’ll be right back, I’ll—I’ll meet you at our dorm!” You shove your food into her hands before quickly dashing off, your skirt bouncing with each step.

—

You’re out of breath, but slam the doors or your lecture hall open, catching the attention of the white haired professor. You’re quick to glance at the time, seeing it was almost two minutes past your professors office hours. 

You pray to Satan's right ass cheek that your professor is still here. 

Your professor passes you a quick glance, before singing, “Office hours ended two minutes ago.” He continues collecting the papers on his small desk and putting them in his bag. “But, I’ll humor you since I know you’re not the physical type.” 

You’re aware of how hard you’re breathing from running, the words come out jagged as you drop your bag to the floor, “T–Touche..” You move to his desk, picking up a few papers and handing it to him, although it’s in your better interest. You lean your body on the desk. 

“So…” He draws, blue eyes flickering from his desk to your face, “What did you need help with?” There's a hint of playfulness behind his voice, but it’s equally as mocking. 

Ugh, you hate Professor Gojo. Okay… that’s a lie, he’s really nice to look at, but that’s all. “I’m sure you got my many emails and noticed my empty seat, but I couldn’t be here for a solid week.” You pass him a meek smile.

“Why were you out?” He asks, tilting his head to the side. You’ve always liked that about Gojo, how animated he is. It adds an interesting draw to his lectures. Seeing his hands flail dramatically around to emphasize any topic he was teaching. 

You look to the side, instantly avoiding eye contact, your heart tugging at the thought. “Uhm… F-Family emergency..” You wave your hand, as if the topic was a fly you were trying to rid, “I was just wondering, what I missed? We do anything important?”

Professor Gojo places his hands on his lips, looking at the roof in thought. “Hm, I don’t think you missed too much.” He grabs his black sunglasses and pushes his hair back with them. “Just a month-long project that takes up thirty percent of your grade.” 

Your eyes widen, your heart falling to the pit of your stomach while your jaw falls slack. “You’re joking.” You take a step back, it feels like you’re going to faint. “Oh my god. Please don’t say that.” Why didn’t Nobara tell you anything about this?!

Professor Gojo smiles, “Not lying, unfortunately.” He flips his sunglasses to fit comfortably on the bridge of his nose, “Your grade is totally tanked.” He tilts his head to the side, white silky strands falling with him. “Unless you can make up a week of lost time in a month.” He thinks, “It’s the thirteenth, so, it might be possible.”

A week worth of work, that doesn’t even include your other classes. Work you also need to catch up on. You quickly try to calculate the workload for the other classes, but immediately feel worse when you do. You’re sitting around twenty hours, maybe even twenty five hours of work. 

It’s manageable, you’ve done it before your freshman year when something similar happened, it may be the reason why your life ends early, but definitely doable. Also something you definitely don’t want to do either.

For a brief second, you're tempted to pull down your shirt and ask him, ‘Is there anything I can do to fix my grade?’ Like those weird pornos or fanfics you and Nobara view to pass time, but you immediately think against it. 

One, that isn’t going to work. This isn’t a fanfic. 

Two, you’re pretty sure Gojo is gay, and married. 

Although, if you were to tell Gojo that last one, you’re sure he would be offended. Yet, immediately follow it up with pictures of his gay partner. Why do you think that? You’re pretty sure you’ve seen it happen before. Like, seventy-six percent sure. 

So, you cringe and ask, not seductively at all, “Is there anything I can do to fix my grade?” You’re sure Gojo is aware of your shiny GPA, something which many of your college professors attempt at tainting, but can’t with how determined you are to keep up your grades. 

Gojo looks at the roof again, thinking for a moment. “I can assign you a different project, or I can just assign the original project to you.” He looks at his desk, pulling open a drawer and searching through the papers, “Which do you want to do?” 

“Is this a final?” Your question is a bit blunt, but Gojo picks up it’s purely fear talking. 

“This is the only thing I’m grading this before your final. Meaning, it’s due…” Gojo leans forward, looking at the calendar on his desk. “The eighth of December. And don’t worry, it’s a project just going in as an assessment grade.” 

That’s right, finals are right around the corner, on the eleventh of December. Meaning, if you procrastinate on this project, or somehow fall behind, you’re sitting–at most–a weekend of studying for your finals. 

God, this makes everything so much more stressful for you. 

He wiggles his shoulders, “I wanted to give my students a break to study.” He cups his face, “Aren’t I an amazing person?” 

No. Your eye twitches, “Yeah, such an amazing person.” You sigh, moving away from his desk and grabbing a chair. “What was the assignment?” You prop it right next to his chair, grabbing the staple of paper and skimming through the stipulations of the project. 

“You’re popular, right?”

No one is popular in college, people just won’t shut up. “Define popular.” You grimace. 

Gojo doesn't miss a beat when saying, “You have many friends, right?” 

You don’t miss a beat when saying, “Define many?” 

Gojo gives you an indescribable look, “What do you mean describe many? What else would that mean?” 

You look to the side, “Well, if I came to lecture and ate five cheeseburgers, you’d be like, wow, that’s a lot of food. But, if I told you I only had five friends, you’d be like, wow, that’s not many friends.” You reason. 

Gojo doesn’t look disappointed, but he’s not necessarily proud either. “Well, you.. don’t, right?” He passes you an empathetic look. 

“Of course not.” Gojo sighs in relief, “I only have two.” Gojo ignores your remark and snatches the paper from you, ignoring your playful grin. He’s quick to explain the project, but with each stipulation you feel your stomach tying itself into knots. 

Partner work? 

Mental Evaluation? 

A project where you pick a student to physically and mentally evaluate their day to day life for a week. Learning about their eating habits, working habits, study habits, and personal life. Then, write an essay about your studies and your personal evaluation on their health, life, and personal character. Gojo assured you that this paper should be told to the participant, however does not have to be shared with them, and will not be shared with anyone other than himself. 

The project seems evasive… you wonder if it’s even allowed. Which seems right up Gojo’s alley. He was always in people’s business. But, a grade is a grade, and you're not going to complain. He’s one to assign something much harder to teach you a lesson about complaining.  

Gojo grabs a pen and writes something down in your packet, “I’m already aware you want to become a physical therapist, so I’ll put that down as the hands on part of your project.” He doodles a small version of him worshiping the rubric, “However, since a handful of students already chose to do medical physical therapy, I’ll have you do sports physical therapy.” 

You feel your stomach turn again. Sports? You haven’t played a sport, more or less exercised, since your highschool days. Even then, you weren’t in a physically demanding sport such as volleyball or soccer, you did marching band. 

Which you could argue was extremely physically demanding, but you regress. 

Gojo adds your name to a shared spreadsheet, adding your name to the sport physical therapy colom. A small shiver of relief soars over your body when you see the name Maki. Thank god. At least you know someone. You’re pretty sure you have her number, too. 

Gojo looks at you again, resting on the palm of his hand. “It doesn't change much. Instead of choosing a random student, now you have to choose a student athlete for your project to be based off of. It’s simple, and shouldn't take more than a few weeks. For you at least.”

It’s nice for Gojo to have faith in you, but you don’t have it in yourself. “Thanks.” You take the paper from him, again looking through the packet again. It seems simple on paper, the most difficult part seems to be finding someone willing to be the participant, but you’re sure you can manage.

Hopefully. 

Gojo waves you off, “I’ll see you in class.” 

You’re already off, grabbing your bag and shoving your papers into it. Off in a rush to the next place demanding your attention. Which feels like overwhelmingly everything this past week. 

—

You smile, your hands signing, “That’s cool, you are really good at drawing.” You use a pink crayon to continue your drawing, a simple picture of the young girl sitting across from you. She’s in elementary school and incredibly shy, often choosing to stay by your side when it’s playtime. You don’t mind.

She smiles at you, grabbing her sparkly notebook and writing a quick, “Thanks.” Before quickly pushing it away and continuing to color the sun an interesting shade of purple. You take a small mental note, the sun should be purple, it’s pretty. 

You continue to braid her long hair, being careful not to tug too hard and accidentally mess up her artwork. You use a hair tie with a pink bow to tie it off, making sure all the strands are secure before pulling two small strands to frame her face. 

You move to the left of her, telling her, “Now we are matching.” She awkwardly giggles at that. 

“Where’s the president?” 

Your head whips around, looking for whoever called you. You immediately know from the way they’re addressing you, it’s a parent. You place a hand on the girl's back, standing up and making your way to the impatient parent. 

You pass her a kind smile, “Can I help you?” 

“I’m here for my child.” She seethes at you, her eyes moving up and down your frame, “Is that even appropriate for working with children? Do they pay you to dance on a pole and dress like a–” 

“I’m not getting paid.” You tell her, holding your hands behind your back, “I’m the president of the ASL club here, we teach people about ASL and the language, we also volunteer here when the School of Deaf Children have a small field trip to our school.” You smile brighter, “I don’t get paid to do anything.” You reiterate.

She gives you a look between disgust and jealousy, which you can’t blame her. Not everyone can be intelligent and as beautiful as you. “What’s your child’s name? I can grab them for you.” You call for a member of the club, telling them to bring a clipboard with the sign out sheet. 

When they do, you give the items to the mother and search for her son. You click your foot on the floor three times, the vibrations sending a silent call for the boy. He turns his head and looks at you, watching as you point behind you at his mother. He sighs and gathers his things. 

You laugh and move back to the mother, taking the clipboard and skimming over the information she added. You ignore how she misspelled his name, actually, that’s a lie, you erased it and fixed her mistake. You do ignore the nasty glare she gives you. 

“He always enjoys being here with us,” You watch as the little boy tugs his things to you, feet dragging on the floor dramatically. You place a hand on his head, “I’ll see you on the next field trip.” 

She scowls at you, but softens her gaze on her child, asking him about his day. There’s a genuine smile on her face while she talks to her child, so you don’t let her words get to you. 

“Don’t know how you do it.” Her voice is sharp, pulling you to look at her. “Especially after meeting with Gojo, you’re a trooper.” There’s a hint of playfulness, although you can barely pick up on it due to her RBF. 

You laugh dryly, “Oh, I–I don’t know, I’m just…” 

“Your flask is sticking out of your pocket.” Maki points at your torso, her face as emotionless as ever. 

Your eyes widen with fear, looking down at your torso only to notice you don’t have pockets. You pass her a hard glare, “Ha ha. Very funny.” You lean your weight on one of your legs, “I would be dead if found with something like that, especially here.” You gesture to the children behind you. 

Maki laughs, “So..” She starts, “I’m sure you’ve finally gotten the project.” 

You groan, looking back at the club working with the kids. “Ugh, yeah.” You roll your eyes, “I don’t know what’s worse, that fact it’s thirty percent of my grade, or I have to humiliate myself to a random athlete to pass it.” You sigh.

Maki’s eyes light up for a moment, “Wait, you’re also doing athletes? I thought you would be in “physical therapy” where you can just choose random friends.” She tilts her head, “Isn’t that what you’re kinda known for?” 

You mush your eyebrows together, “Wait, what do you mean?... Known for?” You pause, “Wait, don’t tell me that how people know me?..” 

Maki laughs, before mockingly saying, “Oh, wait? Is that the girl who wants to become a physical therapist? You think she has the answers?” She crosses her hands over her chest, “Something someone has said to me while doing work.” 

You pout, “Why can’t I be known for how cute I dress, or something?” Why couldn't you be known as that mysterious hot girl in lecture? “Whatever, I don’t care…” You do care, you care a lot. “But, no yeah, Gojo said there wasn’t any room, so he put me in the physical therapy for athletes slot.” 

Maki cringes, “Rough. But I wouldn’t worry, it’s just a few people in our class.” You let out a sigh of relief. “You know what’s rougher? Actually finding the athlete, luckily my little brother is one so I got a free pass.” She laughs, cupping her mouth, “And I don’t have to embarrass myself following a random boy like a puppy.”

You feel your eyes widen, “Shit, we really have to follow them around?” You sigh, “I don’t even know any athletes, I don’t even know where to start…” You look at one of the kids running around, making sure to keep an eye on them in case they trip. “I feel like I’m going to embarrass myself by asking a random one to help me.” 

“I think Gojo is plotting.” Maki says, “He’s bored and wants something exciting to happen, so he decided to make this stupid project where we’re forced to be close to someone twenty-four-seven.”

You laugh, a decently sized crowd passing behind you and Maki. “Sounds like Gojo.” You cup your mouth, as if anyone were interested in your conversation and whisper, “I heard he assigned a boy and a girl together back when he first started teaching and now they’re married working on campus.” 

“Oh yeah, have the girl’s lecture class.” Maki looks at the sky, “Gojo fiends for drama, but we all know this.” She turns over her shoulder, wondering about the loud and obnoxious conversation behind her, only to notice the large crowd of boys. She softly groans in annoyance. 

You quickly eye them alongside her. 

“Football boys,” She mutters, clearly agitated. “Hate them all, so glad my brother isn’t one of them.” 

“Should I ask one of them to do my project?” You tilt your head, watching as they slowly move away from you, their loud chatter getting more distant. “Maybe if I pull down my shirt enough someone will say yes.” 

Maki scoffs a laugh, “Yeah. That could definitely work.” She looks back at the group, her happy expression falling for a moment, “Just don’t get the pink haired one. He’s a dick.”

Your eyes snap back to the group, you didn’t even notice a pink haired guy, “What, why?” You don’t recognize him, which means you don’t have any classes with him. 

“Some asshole.” Maki scowls, turning back to look at you. If looks could kill, the guy would be six feet under. “He’s a football player who doesn’t know shit about the real world, got everything handed to him while growing up.” 

“How do you know that?” 

“Because he talks about it in class.” She shakes her head, “You should hear him, so full of himself, and won’t shut the fuck up.” She pivots a foot behind the other, “He’s rude, too. The only people he’s somewhat nice to, are his professors.”

You laugh, “That’s how it is sometimes, Maki.” You look back at him, he’s tall and built, “Besides…” You smile at Maki’s disgusted face, knowing what you’re going to say. “If he’s hot, he could do whatever he wants for me and I’d thank him.” 

“You’re hanging around Nobara too much.” Maki turns on her heel, “Whatever, if you choose him as a partner and fail, I’ll be the first one to tell you..” She smiles over her shoulder, “I told you so.” 

You’re not going to, but you say, “I doubt it.” You turn back to the kids, wanting to put your full attention on them again, but pause. Your eyes travel to look back at the man, skimming over his body again. 

Maybe you can die on this hill, but assholes are hot. 

Then again, you don’t know any assholes in your life, so you can totally be delusional and be reading too many fanfics for your own good. But, Nobara does, and she loves her asshole, you think. So, they can’t be that bad, especially if they look that good. 

Whatever. You have more important things to obsess about. 

—

You’re about to enter your room, when the door swings open, slamming into your face. You whimper, stumbling backwards into the wall behind you. Both your hands cupping your face in pain, your cute bag falling to the floor. 

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry.” A pair of hands make their way to your shoulders, “I didn’t think anyone would–holy shit, Nobara!” The person shouts, “I accidentally killed someone with the door!” Their voice is boyish, but in some weird way that is what makes it charming. 

Someone else rounds the corner, your guess is that it’s Nobara. “You killed her?” She pushes the boy away from you, her hands wrapping around your shoulders as she crams you in her neck, “Poor thing’s had a rough day, and this is what you welcome her home to?!”

“I’m so sorry!” The boy responds, he sounds very ashamed. 

“Keep it down, it’s three, everyone’s trying to nap right now.” Another boyish voice perks up, he sounds more monotone than the first one. As if he also had woken from a nap, “Try bringing the body inside before panicking.” 

“Good idea, Megumi.” You feel a pair of hands grab your waist and hoist you up, throwing you over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You don’t know if you should be offended, or flattered. “We’ll check for a pulse when we’re inside.” 

Nobara's voice pops up again, “Wait! Be careful of her skirt! You’re going to flash people!” She scolds, and you pray to everything that is almighty that there isn’t anyone in the dorm hall. “Megumi, you grab her bag!” 

There’s no way this is happening. You move one of your hands to press on the fabric of your skirt, pressing it against the high of your thighs. “I got it.” You tell her while the man carries you into the room, Nobara shutting the door behind the two of you. 

You take this time to finally look at the other man in your room, not the one carrying you, just to specify. The man has jet black hair, part of you wonders if it’s dyed, and pale skin. His eyes look a bit lifeless, but you can’t blame him, it is college after all. If you can remember correctly, the man holding you like a potato-sack called him Megumi.

You’re dropped on your bed, your hair fluttering around your head. For a moment, you feel like time has stopped, the boy in front of you smiling widely. You want to laugh at the irony, a part of you thinks, what a small world? Then, you remember you attend a college, and the only people who walk around at that college are the students who attend that college. 

Wow, who would’ve thought, right?

So, the first thing that leaves your lips is, “I like your hair.” To give yourself some credit, it’s what you found the most interesting part of his backside.

The boy tilts his head, his hand moving to run it through his pink tufts, “Thanks.” He leans on the bed next to you, he’s still looking at you as he says, “I like you.” He smiles again, grabbing one of Nobara’s pillows, “You’re light, by the way.” 

Flattered. That, or he’s just freakishly strong, which seems more plausible. Still, his words strike a place in your chest, either that or you really need to talk to more people. You turn to Nobara, “I like him, why haven’t you invited him to our dorm before?” 

Nobara gives you a look, and that answers your question. She juts her thumb at the boy sitting next to you, “Yuuji’s been the one taking your stuff to my car.” She cocks her head at the other boy in the room, he’s enamored by something on his phone. “Megumi’s been actually packing your things.” She winks, “He ended up only using like three–four boxes with his packing skills.”

Your face lights up, “Really? That’s awesome!” That means you can return the other six you bought from Home Depot for way more than you should’ve. “Thanks, you just saved me like twenty bucks.” 

Megumi gives you a thumbs up, before looking back at his phone. Now that you’re really looking at him, he looks really familiar, you just can’t put your finger on it. You could swear you’ve seen that RBF somewhere before…

Nobara furrows her eyebrows, marching over to Megumi and grabbing his face, “Hey! Look at me when I’m talking to you!” She puts her hand on the back of his head, forcing him into a subtle bow. “When I introduce you to someone, actually look at them, jerk!” 

Megumi seems to pout almost, giving into Nobara’s demands and bowing, giving you a half-hearted, “I’m Megumi Fushiguro, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Even when Nobara removes her hand, he stays in that position. 

You find it a bit cute. 

“Wait, we’re saying our full name?” Yuuji tilts his head so he’s practically nose to nose with your face, “I’m Yuuji Itadori, it’s nice to finally meet you.” He looks back at Nobara, “She doesn’t shut up about you.” 

A pillow hits him directly in the face, and Yuuji dramatically falls with it. Acting if he had gotten shot with a gun. Nobara points her nose up, “What you get for running your mouth, I-ta-dor-i.” She says his name with so much conviction, you were almost offended by it. 

Yuuji lays on the bed, his side touching the small of your back, “When will my suffering end, I slave away putting heavy boxes in your car, only for you to stab me in the back like this.” Yuuji grabs the back of your shirt, “You would never do this to me, right?” He sniffles, his hands crawling to hold your torso in a hug. “You would always have my back, right?!”

You snicker, one of your hands moving to cup both of his. You give him a somber look, shaking your head, “No. I would never do this to you, Yuuji.” You hold his hands tighter, “Absolutely never.” You whisper.

Yuuji blinks a few times, letting his head fall on the bed with a soft thud. “The light?... I–I see the light, I don’t want to–I don’t want to go.” 

You stifle a laugh, turning your body to face him, “No! Don’t leave me!” You throw yourself over Yuuji, “I can’t do this without you!” You have no clue what “this,” even is. “I can’t lose you, too!” You’ve never lost anyone before, well.. that’s if you don’t count the plushly you lost at the mall one time.

Yuuji falls slack against the bed, sticking his tongue out and mumbling, the most realistic death sound of, “Bleh!” You finally burst out in laughter, pulling away from Yuuji to clutch onto your stomach. 

Yuuji quickly props his head up on his hand, “Anyway, I’ve been dying. When are we going out to eat, Nobara?” He passes Nobara a careless smile, as if he hadn’t put on the most cringeworthy act with you as his co-actor. 

Nobara gives him an indescribable look, one that borderlines anger and disbelief. 

Megumi blinks a few times, “Well, at least they get along just fine.” He gives the two of you a small applause. Which the two of you deeply appreciate.

Nobara blinks alongside him, whispering, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her talk this much when she’s with me.” She doesn’t know to be offended, or weirdly proud that you’re finally talking to people. Albeit, she would’ve preferred if you became more social outside the comfort of your bedroom, but hey, baby steps. 

You turn over your shoulder, peering at Yuuji again. “I can order some pizza, and when me and Nobara go to my new apartment, you can pick it up and bring it over.” You grab a piece of your hair from his back, you’re guessing it came off when he carried you. 

Yuuji blinks at you with a bit of sparkle in his eyes, “I think you’re my new favorite person.” 

“Are we friends now?” 

“Best friends.” Yuuji clarifies with full seriousness. 

You loudly laugh, slapping your hand over your mouth as you turn away from Yuuji. “Oh my god, he’s so fun.” You let yourself fall on his back, laying down while looking at the ceiling. 

You feel your body collapse for a moment, the aching and stress from the day crashing down on you. Sure, there’s a human below you, but you could be on a bed of pins and still find some form of relief by laying down. 

Like Megumi said earlier; It’s three, everyone is taking a nap right now. That should be you right now, sleeping on your uncomfortable-comfortable college assigned bed alongside your collection of stuffed animals you won from an arcade, and the dozens of blankets you bought from Target with the mindset of: One more couldn’t hurt. 

“If you want, I can move?” Yuuji asks. 

“No.” You tap his back a few times, as if you were a Dad patting a massive dog. “I’m already comfy. I wanna’ take a nap.” You sigh, closing your eyes for a moment, and in the moment it feels like heaven. You really need a nap. 

Yuuji nods with conviction, “Okay, I won’t move.” He quite literally freezes, you’re sure he’s not even breathing from how still he is. 

Your sentence breaks in cracks of laughter as you say, “You can breathe, babe.”

Yuuji clearly lets out a long sigh. You laugh again. 

You want to lay like this forever, but you have an apartment waiting for your arrival. Besides, you’re going to feel even better when you’re laying down in your new bed in your new room. Suddenly, you’re bubbling with energy. 

You collect yourself before pushing yourself off the bed, reaching for your bag, “Here, I’ll go check I have everything in your car and order the pizza.” You turn to Yuuji, “I can tell you when to pick up.”

Yuuji nods, giving you a thumbs up. 

Nobara follows after you, grabbing her keys. Yet, before she leaves the room, she points at both of the boys and says, “Be good.” Then, shuts the door behind her with a smile. “Now, let’s hope to come back to a room with two living men.”

You tilt your head to the side, “Have they tried to kill each other before…?”

Nobara looks to the side thinking, “They have. A good handful of times, actually.” She laughs, thinking about the two boy’s bickering at times, “Yuuji can be something else, and Megumi needs his time alone to function. Sometimes, it’s like trying to make peace between a dog and a cat.”

“Impossible?” You ask with a smile.

“Exactly.” 

You give a humorous laugh, “Is Yuuji the dog?” 

“A big dog.” 

You laugh again, but your conversation with Maki pops into your head again. This time, you voice your thoughts, “I like Yuuji, he’s fun. Cute, too.” Nobara shivers, as if the thought of Yuuji being cute physically revolted her. “But, Maki said she doesn’t like him.” 

Nobara thinks for a moment, “Maki’s the junior in our class right?” You nod in confirmation, Nobara stays silent for a moment, still thinking. “Weird. I didn’t know she knew Yuuji. To be honest, I thought she was the type of person to hate underclassmen.” 

You can’t disagree with her, “Huh. She really does give that vibe?”

“We all have our personal vendettas.” Nobara shrugs, looking at the sky. It’s starting to get dark, the sky blending into hot colors. “I know Megumi doesn’t like Yuuji, but he won’t say that out loud, so who knows?” 

“That can’t be true.” You shake your head, “They look like they get along.”

“They should, or that means freshman year had to be hell for them…” Nobara presses her lips together, “Now that I think about it, I don’t even know if he likes me…” She shrugs again, a cheeky smile building on her lips “But everyone loves me, so I doubt that.” 

“Of course, who wouldn’t love you.” You internally roll your eyes, “No, but seriously. Yuuji seems kind of cool. I just don’t understand why she would say that.” You smile to yourself, “He’s strong, has nice hair, is nice to look at, and he’s really nice. I just don’t understand why she would call him an asshole.” 

“Woah, ew. Don’t say that about my brother, that makes me want to barf.” Nobara pretends to gag, grabbing onto her stomach. 

Your eyes widen in surprise, “You guys are related?!”

“No.” She snickers to herself. 

When the two of you reach the parking lot, she reaches for her keys and unlocks her car from the short distance. Popping open the trunk with her keys, and the only thing you can see is the organized boxes filling her car to the brim. 

You quickly check over all the boxes. Eyeing over everything packed, just to make sure you weren’t leaving anything behind. “Damn, you were right about Fusiguro, these boxes are packed.” A part of you wants to pay him, but you by no means have the money. You almost didn’t have the money to pay for the boxes. 

You sit on the ledge of the trunk, picking your phone from your bag. “I swear, I’m going to get the greasiest, cheesiest, diabeaty causing pizza ever for you guys.” You turn on your phone and immediately notice the text message and missed call from your new roommate. 

Nobara cups her face, batting her eyelashes dramatically. “Awh! Babe, you didn’t have to, that’s so romantic.” She wiggles her shoulders like a love-sick teenager.

You unlock your phone, checking the message. “You know I take care of my babygir—“ You blink a few times, your words dying. A horrible pit in your stomach twisting and turning uncontrollably, practically eating you alive. Your heart is dropping uncomfortably. 

Nobara notices your sudden mood change, and is quick to voice on it. “Hey, are you okay?” She looks at your hands, trying to see what could upset you. “If you want I can buy the pizza?…” 

You quickly turn off your phone, placing it face down on your lap and letting out a long sigh. You silent for a moment, your hands cupping your face as you whisper, “Shit.” You feel like crying, but you also feel like screaming in rage. 

“Wait, what happened?” 

“My—“ You groan, clearly annoyed, “Fuck, my roommate just said the room isn’t mine anymore.” You lean back on the boxes, resting your weight on it. You’re trying to form the words, but there’s so much going on in your head you don’t think you’re making sense. “She said I can’t come anymore.” 

Nobara furrows your eyebrows, “Wait, what?” She tilts her head to the sides, “What do you mean you can come anymore?”

For some reason, her question pisses you off, and you grab your phone. “Here.” Your voice is stern, clearly annoyed, “Read.” You flip the screen to her, showing the long paragraph you received from your roomma– ex-roommate. 

Nobara eyes skim over the screen, quickly trying to take in all the information before looking at you with an empathetic face. “Oh my–is this even allowed? Don’t you have to sign a contract to move in with them?” She sits down next to you, “I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to break the binding if you already signed the papers.” 

You feel a bit stupid about your answers, and for some odd reason that pisses you off. “I–” You sigh, leaning your head back on the boxes. “I didn’t sign anything just yet, she just said I could move in today, and we’ll fill out the papers when I’m there.”

Nobara blinks a few times, “Oh.” Is all she says. She doesn’t know exactly what to tell you, but she knows enough not to tell you how wrong you are. You’re clearly upset as it is, and she doesn’t want to add fuel to that fire. You’re already stressed as it is, so she says, “Uhm, do you want me to help you unpack?...” 

You shake your head, “No.” You can’t unpack, Nobara is quite literally having a new roommate move in within this week. “Okay, no, it’s fine. I’ll figure this out.” You have a small idea of what you can do in the meantime. 

“Figure this out?” Nobara gives you a look, her lips pressed together in a thin line. “Babe, that’s something you say when you realize you have a test next class, not when you don’t have a place to stay.”

You sigh deeply, “I know.” Still, you’re trying to figure out what you can do in this situation. Your parents are out of the picture, not literally, they’re just too far, and you can’t stay with Nobara. You can try and move into a hotel, and pray your parents are willing to send you a bit more cash while you desperately try to find a new place to live. 

You nod to yourself, coming to a decision. “Okay, I think I’m just going to stay at a hotel in the meantime.” You open the safari app, and quickly search for hotels in your area. 

Nobara pulls you to your feet, shutting the trunk closed and locking her car again. “Okay, well my new roommate doesn’t come until Wednesday, so you're free to stay the night until she comes. Technically it’s still your room.” She grabs your bag, tugging you along with her as you desperately search for a place to stay. 

—

“The pizza says it’s going to be ready at five.” You think that’s a suspiciously long time for a pizza to get ready, but don’t question it too much. It just gives you more time to find a place to stay. “You can pick it up and bring it here if you want, Yuuji.” 

Yuuji blinks at you, “Are we no longer allowed at your apartment?” He sounds hurt in a way, but you’re a bit too embarrassed to tell him the truth of the situation. 

You thickly swallow, “Uh, well…” 

“Roommate kicked her off the lease.” Nobara says without batting an eye, “I told her to contact a lawyer, but we all know we’re too broke for that. Unless someone wants to pitch in some money.” She looks at you and passes a discreet wink. 

You deeply appreciate her and her ability to read your thoughts.

Megumi shakes his head, “I can call my Da–” He pauses, clearing his throat, “I can call Gojo and ask for some money.” He looks away, averting his attention at a wall. It could be the bad lighting, but it looks as if his ears are red. 

You have to reign in what Megumi just said, but you aren’t given the time when Nobara jumps into the conversation. “No. She doesn’t like Gojo, can’t imagine how she’d feel if she borrowed money from him.” 

Megumi looks at you, his eyes narrowing slightly. “You don’t like Gojo?”

“Uh…” You give him an awkward smile, scratching your cheek lightly. “Not really…?”

Megumi nods, his lips pulling into a subtle upside down smile. It looks almost approving, “Me neither.” You didn't know you could end up liking someone with just a simple phrase, but here we are. 

Yuuji pulls on your sleeve, drawing your attention back to him. “So, what are you going to do?” He looks at you with puppy eyes, as if he were in the same boat as you.  

You pass him a somber smile. “I don’t know, I think I’m just going to crash at some random hotel in the meantime.” You shrug, trying to brush off the topic, but the pit in your stomach doesn’t go away. “Hope for the best, you know?” 

Yuuji practically lights up at that news, he quickly grabs your hands and tugs you into him. “Wait! Does that mean you’re homeless now?!” He seems excited about that, and you wonder if Maki was right about him being an asshole. 

You awkwardly laugh, your smiling faltering, “Uhm, yeah?…” You blink a few times, looking at your hands, then looking back at his face. You quickly pass Megumi and Nobara a worried face, as if you’re trying to say, please help me.

“Do you want to live with me?!” 

No. 

Your lips part, a small noise escaping your throat, but no real words really leaving. Yuuji is pretty fun to be around, but you don’t think moving in with someone you just met is a good idea. Besides, what if the hotel is a better option than the random house he’s offering you to live in. You don’t know how tidy… or dirty his house is, and you can’t just go to his house, scope out the area and be like, ‘Actually, I think I’m going to pass.’ 

It’s rude and puts you in a really awkward situation, a situation you really don’t want to put yourself in. Then again, you really don’t have the money to stay in a hotel, anything you could possibly have in your bank account will be drained, quickly. 

You don’t have the money, or the mindset to drain your bank account. In fact, if the number ‘ZERO’ hits your bank account, your life would’ve been long done awhile ago. There’s no way you’re living to see your personal downfall. 

You press your lips together in thought, “Uh?..” You look at Nobara, and she doesn’t seem to know what to say either. “Are you okay with that?—How much are you going to be charging me?” You have to ask the real question, then you can worry about being a good person and asking about Yuuji’s feelings. 

“Hm?” He blinks a few times, then quickly looks at Megumi, “I didn’t charge my ex when she lived with me. How much do you normally charge your roommates?” It seems like a genuine question, and Maki barks at the back of your head, ‘I told you!’

You softly pull your hands away from Yuuji, blinking at him in confusion. “Wait, do you not pay for your apartment?” You tilt your head at him, blinking in confusion. 

“I don’t.” He places his hand on the back of his head, looking at Megumi with something you can’t quite decipher. “My–” He pauses, making a face at Megumi, “My roommate does.” His eyes perk at that, almost as if it were a revelation. “That’s right, I have a roommate.” 

“So, I’ll be living with two guys?” Your eyes bounce back from Yuuji and Megumi, you can’t say excitement is what you’re feeling right now. No, it’s more desperation and dejection. 

“Mhm!” He pulls you close to his side, and you’re now starting to realize how touchy Yuuji is, but you don’t really mind. “It won’t be that bad, you’ll have your own room and there’s a kitchen.” He looks around the small dorm, “Which I think is already much better than the dorms…” 

You don’t… know. “I don’t know. I don’t want to bother you, and I don’t know if I’m going to have enough money..” 

Yuuji shakes his head, “You can just stay for a month or two, just until you can find your own place.” He places his head on your shoulder, giving you some of the biggest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen. “And I won’t even charge you.”

“Deal.” Not even a second thought. 

A smile splits your face, excitement blooming in your chest. A free place to live, your own room, and a kitchen? Maybe you could be in danger by living with two men you just met today, but it’s only for a month or two. Free housing is free housing. 

Yuuji jumps up, clearly happy by the thought of living with you. “Hooray! Let’s go!” Yuuji grabs your hand again, pulling you harshly behind him. “I’ll help you unpack and everything.” 

You feel a small blush dust your cheeks, definitely a big puppy. It’s really cute. 

—

Yuuji’s house is so nice. 

Your eyes are sparkling at the sight, the living room, the kitchen, your bathroom, and your bedroom. Everything is decorated so nicely and smells like heaven, as if someone has just cleaned the room. 

You turn to Yuuji, hands holding each other, “Oh my gosh, your place is amazing! This is so nice!” You move to the couch, sitting down on it, practically melting into the seats. “This is heaven Yuuji, absolute heaven.” 

Yuuji wobbles over to you, flopping over your thighs and stretching over the couch. He’s a bit sweaty from moving all your boxes to your room, and clearly exhausted, but you don’t at all mind. You still move your hands to his head and run your fingers through his pink tufts. 

“You did such a good job, Yuuji!” You practically beaming in your seat, smiling with a bit too much enthusiasm. ”You installed that lock on my door too, right?” You push his hair out of his face when he twists his head to try and look at you. 

Yuuji nods tiredly, moaning out an exhausted, “Mhm.” 

“Awh! Thank you so much, that means so much to me!” You look to the side, watching as Nobara appears from the hall and passes you a thumbs up. A small confirmation of Yuuji’s words. “If you want, you can go grab the pizza now, I’m pretty sure it’ll be ready by now.” 

Yuuji springs out of your lap, energy regained at the thought of food. “Pizza!” He is quick to grab Nobara, pulling her out the door and singing, “Pizza, pizza, pizza, chow-down!” You think it’s adorable. 

Megumi walks out of the hall, looking at Yuuji, then looking back at you. He’s silent for a moment, before softly asking, “Do you want me to stay?” 

You’re a bit shocked by his question, “Uhm..?” To be completely honest with yourself, it would be nice to have the house to yourself for a moment. That way you can try and get a hold of the layout without the judging eyes of your new friends. You’ve also been dying to take a shower in a room without anyone else showering. So, you shake your head politely, “No thank you, it’s okay. I need a moment to myself.” 

Megumi furrows his eyebrows ever so slightly, tilting his head, “Are you sure?” He looks at the hallway, then back to you, “I can stay, it won’t bother me.” He shrugs, but his voice has a hint of care to it, as if he’s trying to put his words in the most friendly way possible. 

You shake your head again, “It’s okay, I’m just going to shower.” Your eyes light up for a moment, “Wait, actually, I have a question.” You push yourself off the couch, moving to stand at the entrance of the hallway. Megumi moves after you. “Which room is which.”

Megumi points at the closet door on the right, “That’s your restroom.” He points at the door at the end of the hallway to the left, “Across from your restroom is your room.” He looks back at you, nodding to see if you understood the information. 

You flash him a smile and nod back, “Perfect, thanks for showing me.” 

Megumi nods, turning on his heel and waving you off. Nobara at the door frame, waiting for him to catch up. She cups her mouth, “We’ll be back in a few, get unpacked in the meantime.” She blows you a kiss and closes the door behind her. 

You roll your eyes and move to your room, pushing open the door and really observing the place. If you can recall correctly, this room once belonged to Yuuji’s ex-girlfriend, which is a bit obvious. There’s a hint of a feminine touch to the furniture and leftover decorations. The window is one of the biggest indicators to such, the curtains being a bit flowy and soft.

The bed is another big indicator. The mattress has been stripped of anything that seems comforting, but the bed frame holds some form of cute touch. It’s white with silver jewels bedding into the leather, creating a patterned ridge. 

The floor is bare, but you don’t mind, you made sure to tell Nobara to pack your pink fluffy rug. However, it has small specks of nail polish. The drawers match the bed quite well, all being white. The desk–or vanity–is something you don’t understand why it would be left behind. It’s gorgeous. There’s even a mirror strapped to the wall a bit above it, a button in the bottom middle to turn on its LED lights. 

You nod to yourself, not bad. 

Sometimes, life is all about risk, and you clearly struck gold with this leap of faith. A cute room, a nice house, and you don’t have to pay rent yet? Could life get any better? 

You squeal to yourself, moving to your boxes and opening the one with your skin care products, hair cleaning products, face cleaning products, shaving products… Honestly, everything you couldn’t use back in the dorms. You’re about to finally care for your skin, mind, and body. 

You're quick to grab your sleeping garments, but find it a bit hard to hold everything so you grab your towel and throw all your things inside, then grab the corners and pull them up. Making a make-shift sack and throwing it over your shoulder. 

Life can indeed, get better. 

Especially when you can take a shower alone. 

You’re giddy making your way to the bathroom, opening the door and closing it behind you. You’re picking your favorite at home, or headphone only playlist, and blasting it on speaker. Picking out from the many girly shampoo scents and propping them in the shower as you swing your hips to the beat of the music. 

You catch a glimpse of the shampoos already in the shower. They’re a bit… They look exotic to put it simply. A brand you’ve never seen before, in fact, the amount of body care looks a bit larger than your own. You feel a bit embarrassed placing your Bath and Body Works body scrub, but they smell so good. 

Even now, your sore bare body underneath the steaming hot water, you’re no longer embarrassed. Your tense muscles relax underneath the jets of the water. Just enjoying your sweet sweet life living in a real house and not a small dorm. You raise your face to the water, rubbing out your face wash, “Fuck, I needed this.”

You flinch when the sound of louder music plays over your own, your eyes snap to the door. You push your hair out of your face and softly sigh. Looks like your friends are back already, and as much as you want to stay in the warm shower, you’re really hungry.

You turn off the water and reach for your pink towel, wrapping it around your body and placing the rest of your face care products on the counter of the sink. It’s a bit of a shame, music you’re unfamiliar with drowning out your favorite–private–playlist. 

You eye the room again, only to furrow your eyebrows. Wait… You feel a bit of dread enter your body, looking around the room with a bit more conviction. 

Oh no, oh no no no no no…

Where are your clothes?! You could’ve sworn you put them in your makeshift sack with everything else–wait, you internally groan, no you didn’t. You placed everything back on your bed and forgot to put it back in your towel. Whatever, it’s fine you’ll just quickly run to your room and grab some clothes, then join your friends for food. 

You grab your phone and reach for the door, peeling it open and peaking your head out. But, you are a bit disappointed at the lack of pizza filling the air, and laughter. The only thing getting louder is the music.

“Hm.” You blink a few times and stand on the tips of your toes, the cold floor sending an uncomfortable shiver down your spine as you step onto cold tiles. Megumi’s words echo in your head, ‘The room across the restroom.’ So, as you walk forward and put your hand on the dorm knob, you feel a bit of panic resonate with you as it doesn't open. 

“Shit, did I lock it?” You cringe at yourself. Oh my god, that’s a horrible way to start off living with Yuuji. Getting locked out of your room, naked. For some reason, that thought makes you shake the door knob with more desperation. 

You tug your hand back when the door knob… jiggles back! Have the door knobs evolved?! 

You flinch when the lights of the room flashes on you, the door slamming open. 

Your eyes widen, your jaw dropping subtly. 

The tall man looks you up and down, his forearm pressing against the frame of the door. His face is one that can only be described as disgust and disdain. In fact, he’s so fucking tall, he is quite literally looking down at you. 

You feel so small. 

And, he’s completely shirtless, yet his arms are decorated in a tattoo that seems to stretch from his arms to his torso, chest, then to his face. The only thing giving him some form of modesty being the gray sweatpants that hang dangerously low on his hips. You can see his v-line and the veins that lead to his…

You snap your eyes back to his face, feeling your burn up, when your eyebrows furrow. The interesting color of his hair is pulling your attention.

Wait a minute…

You narrow your eyes, taking a step back in shock. Another puddle of water pulling to the ground with each step, the bangs that frame your face sprinkling your shoulders with water droplets. 

No way, no way.

An unsure noise leaves your throat, a mix between a whimper and soft cry. “Uh… Y-Yuuji…?” You tighten your hand around your towel, and that realization hits you like a fucking bus. You’re naked. You’re wearing nothing but a towel in front of Yuuji, and he looks absolutely disgusted by you. 

But…You know it’s not Yuuji, it can’t be. Yuuji is a massive puppy, expressive and vibrant, naturally pulling everyone into his circle. He would never even think to look at someone the way this man is looking at you. He's touchy and a bit oblivious, but that’s part of his charm! The Yuuji in front of you is…?

His hair is a bit different, less saturated and messy. His dark natural roots peeking out from his undercut, and he looks… older. In fact, he even looks older than you. His tattoos stretch from his neck, to his face, sharp and crisp lines. 

His eyebrows are pulled together in a glare, a nasty glare, a small wrinkle forming at the side of his nose in disgust. His head is ever so slightly tilted to the side. 

Your eyebrows twitch together, and you find the situation ironic. In fact, you almost want to laugh. Out of all the nice things God had given you today, he wanted to sprinkle in one more surprise. 

This man looks like a…

The man takes a step forward, the music in his room blasting even louder. He was close, way too close. If he wasn’t scary before, now that you have to crane your neck back to look at him, he’s terrifying. He narrows his red eyes at you, letting out a harsh, “What the fuck do you want.” His voice is raspy and deep, clouding anyone he would talk to. 

You blink at his language and rudeness, shocked by his attitude. You part of your lips, they feel a bit glossy from the water, but…a scoffing laugh leaves your lips. 

He looks like an asshole. He’s an asshole. You cover your mouth with your hand, and turn away. A hot asshole. The hot asshole from earlier today. It really is a small world. However, your humor to the events is short lived. You’re quickly reminded of what situation you're in, naked in front of a hot asshole. 

The furrow in his eyebrows deepens. 

“You look like Yuuji.” It’s a silent whisper, one that receives no reaction to the stranger in front of you. He doesn’t even take a step away from you, he’s still too close for your comfort. 

Oh my god. There are two Yuuji’s. Then, light a light bulb, another realization hits you. Oh my god, I’m going to be living with two Yuuji’s. But, you quickly pulled out of your thoughts by another sound.

“Who’s there?” A voice perks from the music, it sounds feminine, and a bit too scratchy for your liking. In a way, it sounds hoarse, or strained. “Is it your brother, I’ve always wanted to meet your brother!” She squeals excitedly, “Let me see him, please!”

Brother? You mimic your thoughts with words, “B-Brother?” You dumbly ask, desperately trying to connect the dots in your head. Wait, you thought Megumi was the one who lived with Yuuji, that’s why the two of them made eye contact back at your old dorm. 

Did you completely misread the situation? You cup your mouth in shock. Megumi isn’t Yuuji’s roommate, his older brother is. The hot older brother who happens to be the asshole from earlier, and now. 

Oh my god. I’m so stupid. 

A blonde woman comes barreling from within the room to the door frame, she’s wearing nothing but a black shirt too big for her. The moment she lays her eyes on your bare frame, her smile twists into something deeply uncomfortable. 

You swear, you can hear the water droplets from your hair hitting the ground from how quiet the three of you are. This is such an unforgettable situation. You pull your hand away from your mouth, passing the women a small smile and a wave. 

She doesn’t wave back. She looks at the man, but he’s not looking at her, his eyes are trained on you. Caught by the way your chest is glistening from the light of his room and the water from the shower, your neck bare and fresh. How your shoulder rises and falls with each soft breath you take, your hair sticking to your face and shoulders. He can smell the sweet scent of your body wash from here. It smells nice.

You smell nice.

Your eyes are something else, though. They’re practically sparkling from the little light emulated from his room, catching every reflection and giving them life. They’re wide and full of shock, you’re most likely trying to process who he is. That idiot Yuuji most likely didn’t even tell you he had a brother. 

You thickly swallow, your throat bobbing ever so slightly. 

He smirks to himself. You’re not too bad looking. 

“Who is she?” The blonde asks with a bit of force, trying to pull his attention away from you. However, despite her question, and her hands moving to grab his arm, he still isn’t looking at her, he’s quiet, way too quiet for your liking. 

He finally shrugs, discreetly pulling his arm away from her hold. “Don’t know. Who cares.” He finally pulls away from your frame, looking at the woman, “Probably one of my brother’s annoyin’ ass friends.” 

She tilts her head to the side, “Oh.” She lets out a small laugh, but it seems more mocking than anything. “Thank god, I thought it was one of your crazy exes trying to get back with you.” She glares at you, “Such a pathetic attempt to use, too.” 

He takes one final look at you, “Yeah.” He looks at the girl, pushing her to the side as he walks back into his room. “Just like you.” He scoffs to himself, turning over his shoulder and whispering at her, “Crazy bitch.” 

She pouts, turning on her heel so her blonde said flips behind her, “Awh! Don’t say that Suki! You know you love me.” She passes you a final satiated glance, “Here, let me make it up to you. Tell me about your tattoos or something!” 

Sukuna’s quick to respond with a pinched expression, “Shut the fuck up. Stop acting like you're my girlfriend.” Then, she slams the door on your face, and you flinch from the intrusion. 

You cringe a bit, not at all liking how addressed a girl as a ‘bitch.’ If something could make you turn your head in disgust in less then a second, it’s called a girl a bitch. Except when you do it.

You glare at the door, “Bitch.” You think back to the man she addressed as Suki and add, “Asshole.” You look at the door to the right, and make your way there, twisting it and sighing in relief when it opens. 

You laugh at yourself, “Thank god..” The first thing you do isn’t change, but open one of your boxes and grab your stationary. Placing them on the vanity. You're quick to grab a quickly sticky note, scribble your name on it, and slam it on the outside of your door. 

No more accidents, and no more random hot, older brother, asshole man. 

—-

Nobara is peacefully sleeping on the couch, bundling herself in more blankets than one person needs. Her chest slowly rises and falls in a rhythmic order, you can even hear her softly snoring. The day had been draining, not only for you, but also for her, so you weren’t going to pester her to stay up and watch the crappy horror movie Yuuji picked out.

Megumi is sitting across from her on his phone. His long lashes flutter with each gentle blink he takes. He, unlike everyone in the room, seems a bit more tense. Narrowing his eyes when something unfavorable happens on screen–like a jumpscare–then quickly follows it by doing whatever on his phone. 

You have a sneaking suspicion that he’s actually really scared of the movie playing, but that’s just a hunch. 

You’re sitting next to Yuuji on the floor, actually–no, Yuuji is laying on you. While you run your hands through his pink tufts, your body is watching the movie playing, but your mind is somewhere else. Not somewhere else, on someone else. 

Yuuji opens his mouth, softly humming, “Ah.” 

You reach over his head, grabbing his pizza slice and lowering it to his mouth, allowing him to take a bite. He does, and you return it to the plate on the coffee table. Grabbing your drink and taking a sip. 

“You have a brother?” 

Your question is so quiet, it doesn’t even disturb the peace. The movie is still playing, Nobara is still sleeping, Megumi is still on his phone, and Yuuji is still laying on your lap. He looks away from the screen, his eyes boring into the bottom of your cup. 

“Yeah.” Yuuji gives you a halfhearted smile, he’s clearly uncomfortable by the topic. “He’s my older brother, I think he’s graduating next year.” He looks at the TV, then back at you, you notice how he’s holding his breath. “Did he…? Did he say something to you?” The question seems unsure. 

You shake your head, “I saw him leave his room when I finished showering.” You pass him a comforting laugh, hand running through his hair. “I thought he was you for a second, until I looked a bit closer.” You wish that was the end of it. 

Yuuji lets out a breath, nodding his head. “Good. He can be…” He sighs, looking back at the TV, “You know what, forget about it. He just sucks, so stay out of his way.” He pulls himself up, “Just stay with me, and you’ll be fine.” 

You think for a moment, wondering if you should ask Yuuji the question bubbling in your head, but ultimately decide to force it out. “Do you… not like your brother?” You ask him, sneaking a blanket from Nobara and wrapping it around your shoulders. Your hair is still a bit damp, wetting the blanket. 

Yuuji rolls his eyes, but it’s playful. “Does anyone like their siblings?” He leans on the couch, propping his arm up and using his hand to hold his head. “We’re just like everyone else, just a bit more… bleh.” Yuuji sticks out his tongue, and you softly laugh. 

“Gross.” You mutter, wrinkling your nose. “But, I get that. I think you’re the nicer one.” You look to the side, thinking for a moment, “Actually, wait, I think you look the nicest.” 

Yuuji laughs, “Thanks.” 

You look at Megumi, “I thought he was your roommate.” You press your lips together, “I thought I was going to be living with you two. I didn’t think it was going to be you… you know.” 

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry?” Yuuji slaps his hand over his mouth, “I totally forgot too—shit, I thought you knew…” He thinks for a moment, remembering how the two of you quite literally met today. “I—I don't know… how though. Shit, that’s so shitty of me.” 

You shake your head, “No, no. It’s okay, I should’ve asked more questions, as a roommate and as a girl. This was kinda’ my own doing for assuming things.” You laugh to yourself, “I also got swept up in the whole free housing thing.”

Yuuji laughs with you, “I would, too. That's why I agreed to move in with my brother, actually.” He rolls his eyes, “A free place to stay, is a free place to stay. Even if I have to deal with an asshole.” 

“I got that vibe from him.” You reach over to his shirt, fixing his collar to fix his neck more comfortably. “But I can’t say that to his brother.” 

Yuuji silently thanks you, before shaking his head. “Nah, don’t worry about it. I could care less what you say about him. To be honest, I don’t even talk to him anymore.” He shrugs, “My room is too far away from his to really hear if he’s doing anything, too.” He laughs, “He could secretly be a murder, and I wouldn’t know.” 

You giggle, your hands moving to rest on his shoulder. You take this time to lean forward and softly kiss his head, “Thank you for letting me crash with you for a while, I really didn’t want to stay at a shady hotel.” You smile at him when pulling back, “Totally saved my ass.” 

Yuuji shakes his head, waving you off. “Stop. Don't even start. I’d do anything for my new best friend.” He loudly yawns, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. “But, I’m getting tired, I think I’m going to crash.” He pushes himself off the floor, searching for the remote and turning off the TV. 

Nobara is quick to get up, one of her eyes still shut as she awkwardly says, “H-Huh, what?...” She frantically looks around, “I’ve been up.” She is quick to crash down into the pillow again, gaining a small laugh from everyone in the room. 

Megumi shakes his head, pushing himself off the couch. “I’ll take her home.” He glances at you, “Go to bed, I know you still have to set your bed up.” 

Sure, you’ve spoken to Yuuji the most this entire day, and spoken to Megumi the least, but he is genuinely your favorite out of the bunch. You pass him a quick smile, but it’s strained and full of exhaustion. “Thanks.”

Megumi just nods over his shoulder, searching for Nobara’s keys. Then, pauses, looking back at you, “Also, just a word for advice, Itadori’s brother…” He starts, “His ex would always complain about him… being really anxious at night, so just wear some headphones or… go to sleep early.”

You giggle, “I’m sure I can handle a bit of music at night.” You point at Nobara, “She used to play the weirdest shit late at night.” 

“Yeah, but I don’t think…” Megumi stops himself, “I’m sure you’re going to be fine.” But, his tone, the unsure expression he’s passing you, you can’t help but think… 

Obnoxious how?

—-

Honestly, the day could’ve been better. Way better, but it could’ve been worse, way worse. Still, you appreciate how the day has ended. Your sheets laid out and covering the mattress, your blankets and stuffies decorating your bed to make you more comfortable in your new surroundings. 

You’ve taken some time to put mostly everything in its respective place. Like the fluffy carpet, and small coffee table in the middle of the room, since you prefer to do your homework sitting on the ground. And the pictures and posters you have of friends, family, shows, and celebrities. 

The room was starting to slowly look more like home. 

You blink a few times, pressing your glasses to the bridge of your nose—something you don’t wear outside the comfort of your room—and focus on the small text in the booklet Gojo had given you. 

You can confidently say you understand what the project is asking of you, but there’s so much to do, and so little time to do it, you don’t even know where to start. You feel overwhelmed. Not only that, but finals are creeping up way too fast for your liking. 

“This is a problem for tomorrow, or… today? Whatever. It’s too late.” You whisper to yourself, shutting the booklet and leaning back on the palms of your hands. Looking at the ceiling with a blank expression. You’re tired–exhausted, it’s past twelve and starting to hit the single digits of the AM. 

You still have to catch up on all your other missing assignments due to your sudden leave. You close your eyes, pushing yourself off the ground and stretching. There only seems to be one solution to your problems. 

You reach for your computer, propping it onto your table and pulling up the show BoJack Horseman, clicking onto the first episode while scrambling around for your backpack. 

Time to pull an all-nighter.

You can still hear the music from Yuuji’s brother's room, it’s a bit quieter, but you still add a bit of volume to your computer, trying to drown out the noise. And, it’s nice for the first hour, maybe even the first hour and a half, your writing progressively getting more fit with each assignment you finish. Your eyes are feeling heavier, and BoJack’s life choices are getting dumber. 

You feel like you can fall asleep sitting up, but you jump at a small bump. Your ears perk up to the sound of… something you can’t quite put your finger on. Actually, the best way you can describe it, is if it were late at night and you stubbed your toe, yet you were desperately trying to stay quiet.

Hm. In your mind, that seems pretty spot on, yet… you’ve heard this particular nose before. It sounds familiar, really familiar. Maybe from a late-night movie, or a sound from a—

“Ah! O-Oh my god, p-please—please.” A pleasurable cry. 

It’s silent again, the sound of BoJack Horseman death to your ears. 

A shiver shoots up your spine, forcing your body to shoot itself up. Your eyes widening while your face begins to burn with embarrassment. A small whimper leaves your throat, another shiver shooting down your body, it feels electrifying. It feels dirty. 

There’s no fucking way. This can’t be happening, this isn’t real. Today isn’t real. You feel your face flush, ever so slightly turning your head over your shoulder to look at the wall behind you. “It’s probably just a movie..” You tell yourself. “They’re watching a weird movie.”

A gruff voice barks back, “Move your fuckin’ hand and take it.” She cries again, but it’s a bit more muffled compared to her last cry. “Or I’ll move it.” He sounds a bit pained, almost gritted when said, before a small mocking–yet, approving–laugh follows. “Yeah, you can take this dick, can’t you?”

This time, something deep within your blooms in your stomach. A fluttery, almost tingly sensation building deep in you. You feel your finger twitch, blinking at the wall, your freshly decorated bed catching your attention. 

Of course your bed is pressed right against his wall, and of course the walls are paper thin. 

Your ears perk again at the sound of a forced squeal, a scream of, “K-Kuna’.. W-wait, it feels..” But, her sentence is cut off by another moan, this time more deep and tired. What follows, makes your hips twitch. 

“Fucking amazin’? I know.” He groans under his breath, a cocky laugh leaving his mouth, “C’mon, use that dumb cunt of yours to fuck yourself on my cock.” A small bump lands on your wall, much like the sound of a head falling back on it. “Yeah, fuck. Just like that.” 

His words are filthy, and drive you a bit crazy. Your mind is clouding with ideas of… him. Kuna, Suki, that’s what she said, those are the two things she called him. Is that his name, Yuuji’s older brother? Are those her nicknames for him? 

Kuna? 

Suki?  

You hate that, you want to scold yourself over fantasizing over a stranger. You’re not fantasizing, you’re just trying to piece together what could be happening on the other side of the wall. How he looks when flushed, half-lidded and body surging with pleasure as he fucks. The noises he’s producing when spending special attention on his sensitive tip. How filthy words leave his mouth with a cocky smile, no care in the world as he tries to embarrass you–

You gasp. No, you didn’t just think that. You didn’t think about Yuuji’s older brother, a stranger, a asshole, fucking you. That’s impossible, you’re not a fiend, you’re not a pervert, and you're not thinking about how hot he looked standing over you. Looking down at you with a scowl as you suck his cock. 

Your throat bobs, your mouth salivating. The image of his veins, his happy trail, his v-line, leading down to the print in his sweatpants. You bite onto your bottom lip, lightly slightly sucking onto the skin until it’s a bit swollen. 

You mush your thighs together, turning back to the table. Closing your eyes and trying not to think about… no, you’re just trying not to think altogether. Trying to ignore how your body is burning, your panties sticking to your throbbing pussy.

“Get off–” The sentence seems a bit more quiet than before, the whole sentence not translating well to your ears. You’re thankful for that, is what your head is screaming, but your body is desperately itching to hear every dirty word he says. 

“Hands… knees.” His voice sounds strained, but still collected. 

You flinch when something bangs against the wall. It’s thankfully not hitting your wall, but it sounds incredibly close. Wait, is that?... Is he…? Is that the headboard hitting the wall? The bed lurching forward with each of his harsh thrust. 

This time, it’s far too clear for your mind to ignore her quiet sobbing, yet she mumbles small encouragement for Yuuji’s older brother to, “H-hit that.. s-spot.” Babbling profanities you weren’t previously aware of, to scream obnoxiously in your face about how good she feels. 

Then, the banging stops. A more human bump hitting the wall, followed by, “That shit’s getting on my nerves.” 

“Use a pillow, you don’t need to hold it–ah!” 

This time, you don’t hear the headboard of his bed hitting the wall. You only hear the creaking of the mattress hissing uncomfortably under the weight of two people. You wonder what he did exactly to prevent the noise. 

Press his hands above his head board onto the wall, then continue to fuck her senseless. Or, does he only have one hand pressed against the wall, only grabbing onto the top of the headboard and using it to add more strength behind each stroke. Sending the annoying girl deeper into her spiral of pleasure. 

You feel your eyes water ever so slightly… and–you may be perverse, or a dirty girl. But, you don’t care, you really don’t fucking care. Especially not when your pussy is desperate for some harsh attention, a big mean man to fuck you senseless. To spread you open and toy with your sensitive and drooling cunt. 

You… you wish that girl is you. You wish you are her. Crying over a cock that makes you feel so good, you don’t care if anyone is listening. You wouldn’t care if he was forcing you to take it to quick or hard, his hands grabbing your hips and forcing you to fuck his cock with your overstimulated pussy. 

No, stop, I have shit to do. You don’t have the time to be stupid over boys. “Where are my headphones?” You need to do work, you need to have conviction and discipline. The moment you wake up tomorrow, remembering all the things you thought about the previous night, you’re going to jump off a cliff. 

You just need some clarity, some sleep. That’s all it is, you’re exhausted, and the idea of… No, don’t even start. You softly sing the opening tune of BoJack Horseman to yourself. It may be stupid, but it keeps you concentrated on the task at hand.

You need to do homework, you are too far behind to get distracted. Even now, while desperately looking for your headphone–it’s in one of these boxes, it has to be–you’re ignoring the noises from the other room. Did you lose them? Did you really lose them the one time you actually need them? 

Fine. 

You’ll wake up early tomorrow, find your headphones, and finish your assignments. You scramble for your lights, flicking them off and diving into your bed. Your computer is still open, Netflix asking the annoying, ‘Are you still there?’ But, you’re not paying attention. 

Your eyes are shut, a pillow wrapped around your head while you’re slowly growing more annoyed. It’s so obnoxious, vulgar, rude… You don’t even know how to describe the situation Yuuji’s older brother is putting you in. 

It’s dick move. 

Wouldn’t it be common courtesy to try and be quiet. It’s such an awkward situation for you, such a weird situation to be in. It’s infuriating. A part of you wants to loudly knock on the wall and scream at them, but the other part of you wants to give Yuuji’s older brother the benefit of the doubt. 

He’s probably just unaware. 

You’ll tell ‘Kuna–hopefully his name is ‘Kuna, you really don’t know–tomorrow when you run into him. Or, tell him to be a bit more reserved, or ashamed, of what he’s doing, and how hard it is to focus on work when people are obnoxiously fucking in the room right next to you. 

Besides, you genuinely can’t stand the idea of dealing with that every single night while trying to do your work. It sounds like a pain, a hassle that will never let you sleep or study undisturbed. That’s too weird, that’s too annoying. 

But, you know the real reason. 

It’s why you’re desperately rubbing your thighs together. While trying to force yourself to sleep. 

Next Chapter: Ch. 2 - Sexual Tension.

[neptuneiris]

could you pretend to be in love? (06/10)

The Connection

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)

summary: an unexpected person from the past shows up and there is a family dinner to attend, resulting in disastrous thoughts and difficult decisions.

word count: 8.9k

previous part • next chapter • series masterlist

the chapter is finally here!

sorry it took me so long, if you didn't see my last post go do it and you'll know why👀 but we can put it behind us now and I'm excited to tell you that the next chapter will finally give us that next level we've been waiting for so long!

I really hope it won't take me that long but for now, let's enjoy this new chapter and as always, I'll be very anxious to read your comments🥰

enjoy!

The day of the dinner is slowly approaching.

And you still don't feel completely sure about it. However, despite your doubts and worries, you haven't backed out.

Mostly you think about what you're going to tell Aemond's mother by way of ruining things out of nervousness. Of course he should have already given her information about the relationship, but you're worried that she'll ask you questions and you won't know how to answer.

But that's not the reason she wants to get to know you… is it?

You think she probably just wants to know more about you, your likings, your non likings, your aspirations in life, your dreams, your family and things related to that.

Right?

You just hope so.

You've never done this before, meeting a guy's parents, ever. And you just get more nervous and feel more pressure knowing that Aegon and Helaena will be there too.

As well as you also feel guilty about the fact that they all think that you and Aemond are for real and you're just going to go there and convince them and assure them that you and Aemond are crazy about each other… when it's not true.

Now it's Thursday, tomorrow is dinner and Aemond doesn't seem at all concerned about it, when your thoughts are being completely tormented with it.

Still, you listen attentively to his words as you put away some books in your locker and he's standing next to you, leaning against the lockers, with the Romeo and Juliet book in his hands.

"Why did you make me read this shit? It's too hard to read and I don't like it," he says longingly.

You look away from your books to him and place a small amused smile on your lips at the sight of his face.

"It's like poetry and I don't like poetry, I don't understand it," he says frustrated, "I don't understand any of the weird rhyming they say."

"Well, Shakespeare has a unique way of expressing himself."

"Yeah, but what does he mean by 'My lips, two humble blazons, are ready to seal with a kiss softly'?" he recites reading the phrase with his brows furrowed and you let out a small laugh.

"Shakespeare loved beauty in words, even if it meant complicating things a bit."

"Yeah but why can't he just kiss her and be done with it without saying these weird words that give me cringe?"

"Come on," you give him an incredulous look, "It's romantic. The whole book is romantic with a tragic ending."

"This is definitely not romantic," he says incredulously and shaking his head, "It's weird, boring and makes me want to puke."

You look at him with a pout.

"You're not romantic at all."

"Excuse me?"

He immediately comes to defend himself, staring at you incredulously and completely indignant.

"I can be extremely romantic, thank you very much."

You raise your hands in a gesture of surrender, with a small smile as you see the spark of amusement in his gaze.

"You of all people should know that, you've witnessed it and you're the reason I do it mostly," he adds.

"But that's not… you know," you give him an expectant, knowing look.

"It's still romantic."

"No, it's not," you say with a laugh.

At your playful response, still busy at your locker, you don't notice and Aemond suddenly approaches. He takes your chin with one of his hands gently but firmly enough, causing you to look up at him, catching you off guard.

"What did you just say, my love?" he asks with a mischievous smile and amusement in his gaze, appearing serious and warning.

He brings his face closer to yours with a demanding gaze and your heart begins to pound as you let yourself be carried away by his proximity.

It is clear that he is going to kiss you, what does this mean if not kiss you? So you watch him expectantly and with your face lifted towards him, really looking forward to the sweet contact, your lips inches from his.

But first Aemond looks around briefly, wanting to make sure that some students in the hallway are watching you. When then, you see that he is overlooking a specific spot in the hallway.

You see how there is a slight glint in his eye and then he no longer moves.

You frown slightly, waiting. And before you can say or do anything, Aemond suddenly pulls away.

Confusion overtakes you and he clears his throat by averting his gaze, then smiles softly at you as if he wasn't about to kiss you seconds ago.

"Then I'll be more romantic next time," he says, taking his distance from you, as if trying to minimize the tense moment you've just shared.

Was he going to kiss you or not?

You can't just tell him to kiss you either, that he was going to, since this isn't real but… the change in his behavior confuses you, you don't quite understand what just happened and you don't know what to say.

"I have to go to the field now," he tells you, averting his gaze for a moment before looking at you again, "I'll see you in class, okay?"

"Hum… yeah, yeah, okay," you nod, still confused.

He gives you one last smile and before leaving, he gives your shoulder a light squeeze with his hand, another gesture that catches you off guard. Without a kiss on your forehead or cheek, as he usually does, he walks away.

You stand in the hallway, watching him go, with a mix of emotions you can't help but feel confused, uncertain and... disappointed.

Questions swirl around in your mind, but you don't have any answers. So shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you close your locker door and head to your next class.

Eventually you continue to run into him and he acts normal, as usual. He sits next to you in class, does the teacher's requested activities with you, and walks with you through the halls to the next class.

And everything is…normal, in a way.

Although he's still being kind and attentive, he's not being as affectionate as usual.

You can see how he's distracted, deep in thought from time to time, something is on his mind, something that you have no idea what it is but that keeps you alert, confused and makes you feel completely different from previous days.

You sense that the dynamic between you today has changed somehow, leaving you feeling bewildered.

And you don't know why.

Although it's not until break time that you find yourself sitting at a table alone, still feeling this awkwardness, when Alysanne comes in and drops the big bombshell on you that makes all the sense in the world.

"Why are you here eating so casually when I just saw your boyfriend catching up with his other ex-girlfriend?"

You raise your gaze to her almost instantly, with a mixture of surprise and confusion, a knot forming in your stomach as the weight of her words settle on your shoulders.

"What?"

"Yeah, Floris Baratheon," she says, then looks at you slightly confused, "How did you not know this?"

"What?" you repeat, not understanding.

"Floris Baratheon," she repeats to you slowly and clearly, "Dark hair, not as tall and certainly not as bitchy as Alys but still she falls into the category of girls who are superficial and think they are better than other girls," she explains to you.

Confusion lingers in your gaze, for despite the explanation, you still don't remember anything about a girl named Floris Baratheon at school.

"You really don't know who she is? Aemond didn't tell you about her?" asks Alysanne incredulously and your face answers her questions, "She transferred schools for a semester and just returned this morning. She and Aemond weren't actually dating but they had a thing when he and Alys broke up for like the twelfth time."

Your mind whirls as you process the information.

Honestly you had no idea about Floris' existence back in your invisibility days at school. Therefore, you also had no idea that she and Aemond had ever had any kind of relationship.

However… there is something you have an idea of at the moment.

This is why Aemond acted weird with you this morning, because of her. He must have seen her in the hallway and his demeanor changed completely.

"I-I didn't know that," you admit in a soft, low voice, trying to hide the uneasiness that is starting to creep up on you.

"Well, it's weird that Aemond didn't tell you anything, especially since I saw the two of them so comfortable and happy talking," she lets you know, "And I'm not telling you this with any malice or to make you feel bad, it's just that I think you should know, even though I thought you already knew."

You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling a surge of emotions wash over you that you can't quite explain, nor can you avoid.

You're not sure what to think or how to react to this, but one thing is for sure; things between you and Aemond are likely to get complicated.

But what can you really do?

You and he aren't really dating. What's the point of asking him about it when it's really none of your business? Besides if he didn't talk to you about it before, when he saw her, it must be for this very reason.

You have no right here, even if you feel this.

"Do you want to get out of here?" asks you Alysanne later, noticing your face and probably everything that is invading your mind.

And soon enough, she takes you to the rooftop of the school, outdoors, where you just sit and watch the sky and listen to her while she smokes a cigarette, talking to you about Cregan being around her lately.

But as much as you want to give her your full attention and corroborate what she is telling you, you can't.

The rest of the classes are without Aemond, since you don't share them with him, and when the school day ends, still not knowing exactly whether to wait for him to drive you home or not, you head for the exit of the building, deep in thought.

"Hey."

You feel a hand grab your shoulder and when you turn your head without stopping moving forward, you find Aemond standing next to you.

"Hi," you reply softly, turning your gaze back to the front.

And he at your side gives you an attentive, curious and slightly confused look.

"Are you okay? I didn't see you at break," he says softly, "I also texted you and you didn't respond."

"Oh," your mind goes blank for a moment, "I was with Alysanne on the roof. She was talking to me about some things."

"Hmm," he nods, still watching you between a mixture of attentive and curious.

Then the two of you say nothing more, with the silence loud between the two of you and that tension emanating from your body, when you speak again.

"Are you going to drive me home today?" you decide to ask him, watching him, with that hesitation in your tone of voice and look.

And he frowns, watching you blankly.

"I always drive you."

You are about to speak but a third voice does it for you, stopping your steps and also Aemond's.

"Aem!"

The two turn their heads and there she is, Floris Baratheon.

Black hair, brown eyes, slender and absolutely beautiful features. She approaches with a smile, showing off her perfect, aligned teeth.

Everything about her screams money, as well as elegance, from her perfectly coiffed hair to her impeccable designer clothes and accessories.

And the moment she catches both your attention and Aemond's, you notice how he beside you tenses slightly.

"Hey," she gives him a charming smile and her full attention, placing herself in front of him, "The guys are going to get something to eat, I was just told. Do you want to join us? We can take off in your car and catch up some more."

"Hum…" he is silent for a moment, shooting you a nervous glance, scratching the back of his neck.

And throwing you another glance, this finally catches Floris' attention and she notices your presence as well.

"Oh… hi," she smiles softly at you.

Despite your nerves and how uncomfortable you're starting to feel, you force yourself to smile as kindly and genuinely as possible.

"Hi."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I know you," she tells you in an exaggeratedly kind tone of voice.

And this too finally gets Aemond to react.

"Yeah, right, that's my fault," he says trying to act nonchalant and completely relaxed, "Floris, this is Y/N, m-my girlfriend."

You watch as she parts her lips and her surprise is evident as she looks at Aemond and then turns her attention back to you.

"I-I didn't find the moment to tell you."

You instantly observe Aemond, with a look that even you can't explain and he suddenly can't control his nervous gestures anymore, giving a wary glance to you and then to Floris.

"Oh."

She turns her gaze back to you and though she tries to hide her surprise, the strength of her smile seems a bit forced as she holds out her hand to you.

"I'm Floris, nice to meet you."

And within everything you're feeling right now, like awkwardness and feeling out of place, you still shake your hand with hers.

"Nice to meet you."

Tension is in the air and Aemond looks hesitant for a moment. And you continue to feel like an intruder between them, getting in between the interaction of two people sharing a history you don't fully know about.

When Aemond speaks again.

"Floris is my…

He tries to tell you, but his words are left floating in the air.

Suddenly you see how he struggles and searches his mind for a way to introduce you to the girl he had a thing with in the past, only according to him, you don't know that, when certainly Alysanne already took care of it.

And just like you, you too feel Floris' anticipation, waiting for him to introduce her.

"An old friend," he finally says.

Floris arches an eyebrow slightly at Aemond's introduction, her lips curving into a smile that seems to contain more than just politeness.

"Yes, that," she punctuates, with a knowing look that to you does not go unnoticed, "Well, I just wanted to know if you were free for this afternoon. Although if you want you can bring your girlfriend with us," she proposes.

Aemond takes a moment to respond, averting his gaze as he scratches the back of his neck in a nervous gesture.

And that's when you decide to speak.

"You can go with them," you tell him and that immediately gets his attention and hers, "I can just take the bus or something and I'll see you later," you say to start walking away from both of them.

His attention and slight surprise is most visible on his face, but before you can move too far away, he grabs your hand and advances towards you.

"What? No" he immediately inquires, "No, I'll take you home."

The determination in his tone of voice and in his gaze makes you feel a little more comforted, but still, you can't shake this uneasiness in you about Floris' presence.

And that's when Aemond turns to her again without letting go of your hand.

"Sorry Floris, another time," he tells her in his firmer, slightly strained voice.

And she nods with a sympathetic look, though you can't help but sense there's something else behind her expression.

"Of course, I understand, it'll be for next time then," she says, before turning to you, "It was nice meeting you, Y/N."

And finally she is the first to walk away.

You exchange a look you can't quite describe with Aemond and feel the awkwardness and seriousness linger between the two of you, even as the two of you leave the building and make your way to his car.

And once in the passenger seat and with Aemond driving through the city streets, you find yourself fiddling with your fingers in your lap, still feeling the awkwardness in the air.

You don't understand exactly what's got you right now but you can't even see Aemond out of the corner of your eye, so you keep your gaze focused straight ahead and on the side where the window is.

"Are you okay?"

You suddenly hear his voice speak softly to you, feeling his gaze on you from time to time and you squirm a little in your seat before you speak, swallowing hard.

"Yeah, all good," you say, trying to sound convincing.

He exhales deeply, noticing your distance again.

"I'm sorry if the Floris thing made you uncomfortable. S-she…" he sighs, "She's truly a childhood friend. We had something in the past but it was very brief and it's no longer relevant."

And although there is nothing wrong with his words, you still can't help but feel a slight knot in your stomach. And you act completely unconcerned.

"I understand," you say simply, in a soft voice and still without looking at him.

But this is not convincing to Aemond, who licks his lips and can't help but worry about the situation.

"I mean it."

"Aemond," you call him softly, finally looking at him, "I understand, I really do," you assure him, "I also meant it when I said you should go eat with her and your friends. You seemed very uncomfortable and there was no problem from me."

He nods slowly, but still looks a little uneasy.

"I just didn't expect I was going to see her again."

And you don't know if that's worse.

"Are you ready?"

Oh God, are you?

"I don't know," you answer honestly, nervously, looking at your outfit.

For this occasion you chose a pair of pants, ankle boots and a white tank top with a black jacket over it. You don't look overdressed but decent for the occasion, along with your makeup and hairstyle.

"Hey, easy," he says softly, placing both hands on your shoulders, "It's going to be okay. Besides we won't be alone, Aegon and Hel will be with us."

"Yeah but that's not what I'm worried about," you clarify, playing with your fingers, "What if I ruin everything?" you ask watching him fearfully, "What if everyone realizes that we're not really dating because of me?"

"I'll take care of that, don't worry," he assures you, with his soft gaze, "You just have to corroborate everything I say and stick to the main story. Other than that, my mother will just ask you questions about you to get to know you better."

"Are you sure?" you ask, not entirely convinced.

"Very," he affirms you, conveying calmness and assurance in his voice.

"You've done this before?" you can't help but ask, still with some hesitation, "I mean…" you lick your lips, nervous, "You've brought a girl before to dinner with your family?"

He is silent for a moment, as if considering how to answer, as the implication is clear because that's not the real question, you know that too.

Rather it is: have you ever brought Alys to dinner with your family before?

"Yes," he finally admits in a murmur, sincerely, "Yes, I have."

You stare at him silently, without the two of you saying anything else, only to look away and nod, again trying to look unconcerned, trying to calm your nerves further.

"My mother never liked her," he says later, again attracting your attention, "You know, Alys."

Again, you say nothing for a few moments, just lick your lips and nod.

"I understand."

Aemond lets out a heavy breath and takes a step towards you, lowering one of his hands to take one of yours, gently rubbing his thumb against the back of yours, this also immediately catching your attention, as you see him looking at you for a moment thoughtfully.

"Are you ready now?" he asks you softly, raising his gaze to you, "We can stay here a while longer if you want."

"No," you reply immediately, "No, I don't want to make everyone wait for us," you release a long breath, calming your nerves, "I'm ready now."

He places a small comforting smile on his lips.

"You'll do fine, trust me," he assures you then moves closer to you and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead, just like at school.

His action definitely catches you off guard and you look at him slightly surprised, but Aemond doesn't give it that much importance, as if it was already a natural and routine thing between both of you, like a gesture of encouragement, to then take you by the hand together with him to the entrance of his house.

His house is nice and big, with a beautiful garden, so when you open the door, you see a huge and cozy living room with the dining room visible in the background, where you can make out Aegon's figure and his short silver hair.

Aemond closes the door behind you and you briefly look around, seeing the decorations of the elegant house, such as mirrors, flowers vases and also family photos.

Mostly, you see pictures of young children, which you recognize as Helaena, Aemond, Aegon and his other brother, Daeron.

There are also photos of what you assume is their mother and also a man, who you assume is the father, with Aemond and his siblings as children. But it strikes you that none of the four are smiling, just the mom a little.

There are more current pictures, only of Aemond, Helaena and Aegon smiling next to their mother, with no trace of their father and Daeron.

"He's my younger brother," he takes a single photo of a boy, standing next to you and handing it to you, "Daeron."

And just as you imagined, he's a boy of about fifteen with striking blue eyes and short silver hair, smiling at the camera with a bright face and looking in the background like he's standing in a lake at Honeyholt.

"Helaena was right," you say with a small smile, still inspecting the photo, "He really is the handsomest of the three of you."

"That's not true," he tells you immediately, taking the photo out of your hands and putting it back in its place with a quick, automatic gesture, making you laugh.

"What's up, bro?"

You both hear Aegon's voice and turn around, with the silver-haired man already walking towards you with a bottle of beer in his hand and a huge grin on his face.

"Are you drinking already?" Aemond inquires, "Mom's going to kill you."

"Oh, you know how persuasive I can be," he tells him without wiping off his smile, "Besides, I've already set the table," he points to the dining room, "It's dinner, bro."

"Careful," he warns you but he deliberately ignores him, heading in your direction.

"Y/N!" he exclaims your name smiling, coming over to embrace you, "Welcome to our home."

"Hi Aegon," you smile back at him.

He envelops you in a hug and you reciprocate cordially, instantly the strong smell of beer reaching your nostrils.

"Want one?" he points to the beer in his hand as he pulls away from you.

"I don't think so," Aemond answers him, again intertwining his hand with yours, "Where's mom?"

"In the kitchen with Hel" he points out, "Tell them to hurry, I'm starving," he says in a tone of voice that catches your attention.

But Aemond pulls you forward, starting to leave him behind, with a serious and disapproving look at his brother's attitude.

"It's the beer," he explains to you quietly, "I hate it when he drinks at home. I just hope it doesn't get unbearable later."

"Why?" you ask him, curious.

He shakes his head.

"Aegon is… complicated."

He doesn't say anything else and neither do you, mostly because he leads you toward the kitchen, but curiosity still lingers on that subject.

He gives your hand a gentle squeeze in a supportive gesture that comforts you as you both cross the threshold into the kitchen, where instantly the smell of delicious freshly baked food hits your nostrils.

And the first thing you notice is a silver hair along with a darker one, who you assume must be Aemond's mother.

And immediately your nerves again explode and you feel your heart pounding hard in your chest.

"Hey, Y/N!"

A friendly voice says to you, being Helaena, who is wiping her hands with a clean dish towel and wearing a beautiful blue dress, instantly heading towards you with open arms.

"Hi Hel," you smile back happily, hugging her enthusiastically.

"Oh I'm so happy you're in our home," she says excitedly and warmly without letting go of you, "We've prepared turkey, I hope you like it," she says as she pulls away from you.

"Oh I'm sure it will," you nod at her with a sincere smile, feeling welcomed by the warmth of her welcome.

"Mom."

Aemond's voice momentarily pulls you out of your conversation with Helaena and you turn your head to meet the gaze of Alicent, Aemond's mother.

Instantly you try to control your nerves and keep your composure, remembering his comforting words.

And when Alicent's gaze meets yours, a warm smile forms on his lips, which makes you feel less nervous and conveys a sense of calm. Although the nervousness lingers, you feel a little more secure with his kindness.

Aemond places a comforting hand on your shoulder and steps forward to introduce you.

"This is my girlfriend, Y/N," he points to you with his small smile, "And Y/N, this is my mom, Alicent."

She is a very beautiful woman.

It's the first thing that comes to your mind, noting the dimples in her cheeks and that warm look she has, not being intimidating at all and being rather kind.

Besides the dark green dress she wears is completely beautiful, as well as her accessories. Everything about her radiates elegance and poise.

"A pleasure to finally meet you, my dear," she says, turning to you, "Gosh, I was so excited to meet you. It's so nice of you to come."

And without expecting it, just like Helaena, she too greets you with a hug, taking you completely off guard, causing you to let out a nervous little laugh as you hug her back.

"The pleasure is mine, Mrs. Hightower," you say softly, feeling slightly overwhelmed by her kindness and warmth.

"Please call me Alicent," she says as she pulls away from you.

Before all this you asked Aemond what to call her, just for the heck of it and to feel less nervous and he told you 'Hightower', the last name of her father.

So you assume that Aemond's father is not someone who gets mentioned much around here. In the family photos he is present in only one picture. And Aemond doesn't talk about him either.

And he watches with a small smile at the interaction between you and his mother, feeling relieved that things are going well so far.

"Please go and take your seats. Dinner will be served soon," she says to Aemond and you.

"Do you need help?" he asks her.

"I'm already doing it myself," Hel says, "Don't worry, little brother."

"Can you help me with your brother, please," Alicent tells him, with a look of slight concern.

"Of course," he assures her in a gentle tone.

Soon the two of you return to the dining room, the two of you take a seat together with Aegon and Aemond tries to tell him not to overdo it with his drinks, that you are here to enjoy a nice dinner with his family.

But he just makes nonchalant gestures and tells him that everything is fine, to continue drinking, looking at the screen of his phone, waiting for dinner.

Then you don't know how much time passes exactly but Alicent returns very soon along with Helaena with the food, placing the dishes in the center of the table, indicating that all this will start soon.

Aemond places his hand on top of yours underneath the table, giving you every supportive gesture possible, reassuring you at every turn that he can that all will be fine.

Every brush of his fingers against yours conveys reassurance and comfort.

You feel a slight relief as you feel his touch, reminding you that you are not alone at this moment and his presence gives you strength to face any nervousness that may arise during dinner.

And with the food finally served, the silverware begins to clink against the plate glass as everyone begins to enjoy the delicious dinner.

Aemond, like the supposed boyfriend in love with you, is totally attentive to you, asking if you're served this or that, wanting to make sure you're well received and comfortable to make this more bearable.

And you thank him all the way, feeling his mother's gaze on both of you from time to time, without wiping away her warm smile.

"Did you like the food, dears?" she asks generally.

"Oh yes," Helaena says with a look of total complicity, delighting in the food.

"It's delicious, Mom," Aemond tells her later.

"Totally," you corraborate politely, nodding in her direction.

Alicent smiles in satisfaction and then turns her attention to Aegon, who hasn't said anything since everyone started eating.

"How about you, son?" she asks him softly.

"It's fine," he says curtly, taking a huge swig from his bottle of beer.

This definitely gets your attention but Alicent as well as Aemond and Helaena decide not to give it enough attention, as if they're already used to it and don't want to ruin the moment by his behavior.

But you do notice the disapproval in each of their looks, especially the disappointment in Alicent. Though she almost instantly turns her attention away from Aegon to Aemond and you.

"So, how long have you two been dating exactly?" she asks curiously and without losing the kindness in her gaze and tone.

"A month," Aemond replies without hesitation at your side, resting one of his arms on the back of your chair.

And Alicent shakes his head with a small smile on his lips.

"And I still can't believe he kept you hidden from me, Y/N."

You smile in his direction, trying not to let your nerves give you away, as Aemond again interjects, with a soft look.

"We didn't want to rush things."

"I told him not to take too long to tell you," Helaena says as well, pointing at Aemond as she watches her mother.

"But he didn't tell me anything, Aegon did," Alicent says in amusement.

"Oh come on, I was going to tell you anyway," Aemond tries to justify himself.

"Oh you were going to?" Hel questions him.

"You want to turn her against me."

"I'm just telling the truth, little brother."

This causes Alicent to laugh softly and his gaze meets yours, where you laugh softly too, as the fight between Aemond and Hel continues. But this causes you to begin to feel comfortable and more at ease with the whole situation.

The only thing at the table that is completely serious is Aegon, who continues to concentrate on his drink and the food in front of him.

His reserved attitude contrasts with the energy you have with Aemond, his mother and sister, but they don't really give him much attention and everyone continues to enjoy the delicious food and create topics of conversation.

"So…" Alicent begins to speak, watching you with her warm gaze, "What are your college plans, sweetie?"

Oh my God.

Okay, it's happening.

You think as you slowly start to panic, but quickly get yourself under control, settling back in your seat.

"You're all graduating soon," she points to her kids with a small smile.

And you're about to speak but someone else does first.

"Which wouldn't be the case if Aegon hadn't repeated year… twice," Hel says condescendingly, pouring herself more food in a casual gesture.

"Helaena," Alicent reprimands her in a soft tone.

"Don't start with me."

Aegon's voice finally makes itself heard in a long time, speaking in a cold, curt tone, not even observing his sister, focused on his food.

"Just saying," Helaena says also with a pout in his direction.

"Then speak for yourself. You're a year behind too."

"Ugh," she sighs, "You talk like you don't know what happened."

"That's enough," Alicent says calmly, watching you both with a look of silent warning.

The atmosphere tenses slightly and all is silent for a moment, as you notice how Aemond next to you only runs a hand over his chin and you only hear the clink of silverware clattering against glass plates.

Alicent then turns his gaze to you and there you decide to speak, hoping to restore comfort to the atmosphere.

"Well, actually, I've applied to Oldtown University," you say with a soft smile, controlling your nerves, "I'm planning on getting into law school."

Surprise flashes across Alicent's face, as you briefly feel Aemond watching you beside you.

"Oh, wow," she nods slowly, her expression one of amazement, "What a coincidence, that's the same college Aemond wants to go to."

Aemond nods with a small smile, completely keeping up appearances.

"Yes," he confirms, "In fact it's perfect for us to go to the same place after graduation."

And just to show more affection with you, he places his hand and yours intertwined on top of the table, watching you with that 'love' he seeks to convey in these moments in front of his mother.

And Alicent watches you both with her soft smile, but is still intrigued by you.

"And why that choice? Law is something you always wanted to study?" she asks you, with genuine interest in her voice.

You try not to focus too much on the way Aemond's thumb begins to gently caress the skin on the back of your hand, which at the same time also reassures you.

And you nod in Alicent's direction.

"Yes, it's something I've always been interested in. It's a very heavy degree with very dense material, but it's very interesting and it's long been what I've decided for myself."

Alicent nods in your direction, listening to you intently and looking completely interested.

"And I guess at Oldtown it's a great opportunity to want to study law."

"Oh yes," you say eagerly, "Oldtown has one of the best faculties with very capable professors and all the material you need. It's certainly a great opportunity."

"But I also think that getting to study at such an in-demand university with few places in that major can be difficult," she tells you corroborating in conversation.

"Yeah, that's the bad thing, but…" you shrug, "I'm hopeful."

You watch subtly beside you, focusing for a moment on Aemond, speaking with that complicit tone, as of course he doesn't forget that the reason you're here doing this is precisely because of Oldtown.

He knows that all too well too.

"And your parents are supportive of your decision to study law?"

Slight surprise passes across your face, definitely not expecting that question, but you quickly manage to soften your face, though you still remain silent for a moment.

You try to hide any trace of bewilderment as you search for a suitable answer. And it is Alicent's same warm gaze that encourages you to respond.

"Uh… yes, my father is just as excited as I am about this possible opportunity," you reply with a small smile, being honest, "He has always supported me in all my decisions."

You respond without saying anything else and with sincerity, not mentioning anything about your mother.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," he nods at you and smiles warmly, "And what about your mother, dear?" she asks with genuine curiosity.

Inevitably your whole body tenses at that moment. And an uncomfortable feeling settles in the pit of your stomach as you think again about how to respond.

You honestly didn't expect the conversation to get to this point, about how even after talking only about your father, you're still being asked about your mother.

And for a moment, you don't know what to say or what to do, but you finally decide to react after everything falls into an awkward silence and they begin to look at you slightly confused by your lack of response.

Until you decide to be honest.

"Well, I-I…" you bite your lips, "I don't actually live with her," you admit in a soft voice, avoiding eye contact for a moment, "And I haven't seen her since I was six."

Slight concern crosses Alicent's face, instantly watching you in regret.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie," she says sincerely, embarrassed to have caused you discomfort, "I had no idea. I apologize."

You're about to tell her it's okay, that it's no problem because she didn't know, that it's no big deal, but you don't even get a chance to speak when sudden laughter is heard throughout the dining room.

The tension in the air dissipates in that instant as everyone turns to the source of the laughter, Aegon.

He is visibly drunk, but still conscious enough to know what is going on around him and that is what is alarming.

Alicent, Helaena and Aegon's faces fill with bewilderment and disapproval, except for yours, as you watch Aegon in confusion, not quite understanding what is going on.

"Aegon," Alicent calls to him now truly annoyed, watching him seriously and reproachfully.

But Aegon barely manages to contain his laughter as he apologizes between laughs.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it," he mutters, his tone full of amusement and insolence.

Then Aemond at your side watches him completely serious, his jaw clenched and his gaze dark, holding back his fury at his reaction after you shared a very intimate and sensitive piece of information to you.

And Aegon laughs at it because of his own stupidity? Of course he's not going to allow that.

"What's so funny?" he inquires, expectant and about to explode.

Aegon straightens in his chair, a smirk on his face.

"Oh, nothing," he replies mockingly, "I just think she and you are perfect for each other. Apparently, we're not the only ones who have parental issues, are we?"

He asks watching his mother and sister, which makes Alicent feel even more tense, watching you worried and apologetic about the little show her eldest son is putting on.

"That's enough," she reprimands him firmly.

But Aegon seems determined to move on and turns to you again with a gesture of camaraderie, ignoring his mother's words and his brother's attitude.

"Don't worry, Y/N," he tells you with a crooked smile, "You can talk about it here and no one will judge you. All of us would understand, wouldn't we? We who wouldn't know about the subject of fucking neglectful parents with their kids."

Aemond's gaze becomes even more intense and his jaw tighter, watching his brother as if he could throw daggers at him with his eye.

"Shut the fuck up," he orders him, controlling himself as much as he can at that moment.

"Aemond," Alicent calls out to him worriedly.

"Or what?" Aegon challenges him, "She better know what she's getting herself into once and for all. With our fucking family traumatized by her own father who never cared about us."

"I said shut the fuck up," Aemond demands of him rising from his chair, causing everyone at the table to become alarmed.

Alicent rises at about the same time he does, and Helaena rises next, alert and worried, while you and Aegon continue to sit, he still unconcerned and you… because you don't even know how to feel about it.

The tension is too much, this is all unexpected and it's all happening too fast. And as if things couldn't get any worse, Aegon continues to talk and drink more.

"I'm just saying you two are the perfect match," he continues, his tone increasingly amused, "She doesn't have a mom and you don't have a dad, bro. Awesome, isn't it?"

Then it all happens too fast.

Aemond advances towards Aegon with a furious determination on his face that puts everyone at the table on alert, reaches towards him and grabs him hard by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to get up.

"Aemond!"

Alicent and Helaena immediately intervene, rushing towards them to stop them, but Aegon doesn't even have time to react before he finds himself on his feet, with Aemond holding him tightly.

"Stop it, Aemond!" exclaims Alicent, his tone full of authority and concern.

You finally rise from your seat as well, alert and worried, not knowing exactly what to do or what to say, feeling your pulse racing.

Then Aegon reacts as well, his face transforming into one of rage, placing his hands on top of his brother's.

"Get your fucking hands off me," he manages to say with difficulty.

"I told you to shut the fuck up or didn't I?"

"Oh and now you're going to hit me? Huh?" he asks, punching him in the chest with his hands, "You're going to hit me? And for what? For telling the truth?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you huh!? You fucking cunt," Aemond hits him back in the chest.

"Let go of me, you fucking asshole!"

"That's enough!" Alicent intervenes again, her voice firm and full of authority, "Aemond, let go right now!" she orders, furious, implying that she won't repeat it a fourth time.

The tension in the room seems to increase with each passing moment, as you hold your breath, watching Aemond worriedly, as does Helaena.

Aemond hesitates for a moment, glaring at his brother with determination, until he finally releases him with a tug, pulling away from him still watching him in warning and utter annoyance.

Aegon straightens, rubbing his neck as he glares at his brother resentfully.

"I don't need this shit. Enjoy your fucking dinner," he says grumpily, grabbing his bottle of beer and heading for the stairs, not giving anyone a glance.

At least your pulse starts to calm down when you see how it's finally all over, but you still watch Aemond worriedly.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Alicent turns to you sorrowfully, averting your gaze to her, "What a shame."

"No, no, don't worry…

You start to say in a soft tone when Aemond's serious but definitely kinder voice makes itself heard in your direction.

"I'll wait outside."

The three of you watch him silently and watch as with nonchalant gestures he takes his car keys from his front pocket and with his face still contained in fury, heads out of the house.

With a lump in your throat, you turn to Alicent and Helaena, feeling the weight of tension still hanging in the air even so.

"Thank you so much for dinner. It was nice to meet you," you say to Alicent, trying to sound as calm, gentle and kind as possible.

Alicent smiles sadly back at you, still with her saddened and troubled face.

"It was lovely to meet you and have you come, honey," she tells you sincerely, "Still I'm so sorry. It wasn't my plan for dinner to end like this."

"I totally understand, don't worry," you say with a small smile, "We can always do it again."

You say and immediately regret it, but manage to soften your face in time.

This was supposed to be the only time you would do this, but you feel you owe it to her, to Alicent, as she prepared a delicious dinner with great care. She seemed so excited and happy about everything, especially about you coming that it is such a shame that this happened.

More than anything else that's why you say so.

"Of course," she nods to you, kindly and cordially.

You bid her goodbye with a gentle hug, then embrace Helaena as well, conveying your silent support through the simple gesture.

"If you need to talk, we can do it at school," she murmurs in your ear before releasing you.

"Sure," you promise, returning the hug gratefully.

You take one last look at both of them and head out of the house. And once outside, you feel a shiver run down your spine as you face the cool night air.

And there you see him, in the middle of the night silence and at the edge of the street, leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette with an almost absent gesture, looking thoughtful but also still a little upset about what happened.

You watch as he lets the smoke go between his parted lips and you, letting out a long breath, head towards him.

When he looks back at you, you too just watch him silently and he wordlessly opens the driver's door with a soft squeak and gets in the car, so you follow after him, feeling the weight of silence between you.

You too slide into the passenger seat and close the door, where soon the two of you find yourselves moving through the quiet streets of the city, the music on the radio playing at a low volume in the background.

And that's the only sound between you, the music, and even then it's a little uncomfortable.

You bite the inside of your cheek, struggling to find the right words as the tension lingers, but you don't even know what to say. What are you supposed to say when that happened?

But finally it's Aemond who breaks the silence.

"I hope you enjoyed the show," he murmurs, not taking his eye off the road.

You are momentarily speechless, not knowing what to say at that, not even finding the right words in your mind. Then you let out a low sigh, understanding how he must be feeling.

You mean… you went to meet his mother, it was a family dinner, everything was going well and to suddenly have it all end like that with very personal confessions that you had no idea about… it must be completely frustrating for him that you witnessed that.

"Are you okay?" you ask him in a low, soft tone, watching him intently, concerned and understanding.

He lets out a long breath, pursing his lips as he considers your answer, saying nothing for a moment. But when he finally does, he says it in a voice laden with weariness, regret and seriousness.

"I'm not even upset that Aegon said all that… he… he's right," he says resentfully, "I'm upset that you had to witness it."

The weight of his words falls on you, sensing Aemond's seriousness and frustration in his words. You watch his serious and weary face, the fury he is still holding back.

And for a moment, you look like you're not going to say anything, but after biting your lips, you finally speak.

"You don't have to worry about me," you tell him in a soft voice, "After all, he was right about what he said about my mother too," you add, seeking to offer some comfort, "I don't even remember her, you know? And honestly… it doesn't affect me nor do I care."

If your words caused anything in him, he doesn't show it, as he continues with his eye focused on the road.

But inside, he can't help but feel a little surprised and amazed at your ability to accept those circumstances with such calm and determination compared to him.

And finally he nods, understanding the truth of your words.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice barely a whisper.

You watch him with a soft and… slightly thoughtful gaze, feeling the tension between the two of you finally begin to fade, resulting in a warm and pleasant atmosphere for the two of you, as usual.

And unexpectedly for him, you take his free hand gently and intertwine your fingers with his, offering a small gesture of support amidst still the frustration he is feeling.

"I don't," you confess softly.

You don't say anything else and neither does he, hoping you can put this behind you. And all along the way, he keeps gently stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.

You wait anxiously, moving your foot repeatedly up and down, glancing from time to time at your surroundings and also at the screen of your phone, wanting to keep the time very much in mind.

The gentle morning breeze caresses your face, with the sun painting golden hues in the morning sky and listening in the background to the birds singing, but also all the movement of the soccer team training early at this hour from the field.

Everything seems to be calm, except for your racing heartbeat, where you avoid biting your nails and simply bite your lips in a nervous gesture, as well as the inside of your cheek.

Then you finally see Aemond approaching with his backpack on his shoulder and his face soft.

"Hey," he says softly, taking a seat in front of you, taking off his backpack and watching you carefully, "What's up? Is everything okay?"

Out of nerves, your whole body tenses and you avoid stuttering as you speak, stirring in your seat.

"Yeah, yeah, just…" you lower your gaze, playing with your fingers, "I just want to talk to you about something."

Aemond nods, giving you his full attention.

"Well? What is it?" he asks you warmly, not wanting to put pressure on you as he notices all the tension that is invading you at the moment.

But he honestly starts to worry seeing you that way.

And you swallow hard, with your gaze lowered, feeling the need to just let it out and nothing more, having that urge so you don't keep torturing yourself with your destructive thoughts.

"I was thinking that… maybe…" you let out a sigh, "Maybe we should stop this," you mutter, your voice barely a whisper.

And Aemond only watches you more intently, beginning to look alert, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Stop what?"

You bite the inside of your cheek hard, completely flustered.

"Our fake relationship," you reply cautiously, watching him intently and with some concern.

"What?" he immediately queries you, "I-I don't-I don't understand."

"I think we've both accomplished what we wanted to… oh well, almost everything," you tell him knowingly, "But we've already put on a good show in front of the whole school, Alys is upset enough, and the cheating thing is behind us. We should stop."

You explain but in the middle of all your explanation, Aemond only frowns more, listening to you completely attentive, watching you surprised and incredulous.

"And the trip to Dragonstone?" he inquires you, with a serious and alert look, "That trip is key, it would be great for both of us to go together, as a couple."

You try to remain calm, but your heart is pounding and your nerves are getting the better of you.

"Yes, I know, but… do we really need to keep pretending?" you ask, "You've already saved your reputation, remember?"

Aemond shakes his head firmly, his jaw tense with mounting frustration.

"It's still not enough," he tells you seriously, "At least wait until after the trip."

"Aemond, I don't see why we should wait until then," you mutter, unsure, "We can finish everything now."

Aemond's expression hardens, his jaw tense with frustration as he tries to understand you.

"Y/N, the trip is in the contract," he tells you firmly, "And we agreed to finish everything until graduation."

You exhale, feeling the overwhelming weight of the situation that you didn't expect was going to get this bad the moment you decided to do this.

"I know, but I don't see the point of this anymore."

He becomes more confused, shaking his head, looking at you confused and now completely frustrated.

"What-what's wrong?" he asks you in a soft but urgent voice, attentive, "Did something happen?" he asks you concerned and interested, "Did something happen that I still don't know about?"

Oh God.

Fear grips you as you struggle to keep your composure and not let your nerves get the better of you.

"Or is this because of the dinner thing? And because of Alys' pranks?" he asks you worriedly, "If it's that, tell me. I-I'll find a way to fix it. You won't have to go to dinner at my house again and I'm sure I can talk to Alys."

"No, no… I-I…" you sigh, "It's not that-

He shrugs, looking at you confused and frustrated.

"Then what is it?"

Your heart pounds as you struggle to keep your composure in front of him.

Your words get stuck in your throat, enduring Aemond's still serious, worried and frustrated look on you, waiting for an explanation. But the feeling of panic grows in your chest and you resign yourself completely.

"Nothing, forget it," you say in a whisper, lowering your gaze.

You stand up and gather your things, slinging your backpack over your shoulder, just as Aemond sighs and looks more frustrated.

"Y/N," he calls your name in a tired gesture.

But you don't heed him, just focus on getting away from him,

"Y/N, please stop," he says to you in a soft but urgent voice.

But you don't stop, you can't.

How could you do it and how could you tell him that the real reason you decided to bring this up to your fake boyfriend is because maybe you are actually falling in love with him and the feeling is getting more and more intense, and you can't help it?

You just can't.

general taglist:

@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @a-beaverhausen @saturnssrings @ladythornofrivia @iloveallmyboys

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

My reactions to episode 5 of season 2 of Criminal Minds Evolution

Didn't do one last week bc i didn't have time, plus it was just a weird episode. but people have told me they're excited for me to watch this one, so let's go!

i think this is penelope and voit's first time seeing each other face to face???

Voit's little nursery rhyme taunt i am CRYING laughing

Voit taunting the SHIT out of Rossi

"Somewhere in Iowa" has me rolling

Ooh so this is the beginning of the conspiracy theory. The FBI "assassinating" people

Side note: do they never change their badge pictures?? rossi's hair still has color in his

"Get out" Rossi????

Voit sitting at Reid's desk is funny bc Zach Gilford auditioned for Reid way back when

GARVEZ STANDING BESIDE EACH OTHERRRRRR. love collecting Garvez CRUMBSSSS

Luke she is standing slightly in front of you. you are not staring at her side you're staring at her ass. I see you.

"You can't bluff for a minute? You've been bluffing you're not Sicarius for a month" Tara i LOVE you

Someone: *mentions computer stuff* Luke: *looks at Penelope* Me: yeahhhh he knows his gf can do anything

"I'll come with just to make sure you [elias] behave" Luke i am sure that is the ONLY reason

"an online bulletin board where people post their not-so-secretly racist opinions?" Luke i love you

Voit: *touches Pen's things* Luke: Hands off, asshole YES MAN PROTECT YOUR GIRLLLLL

"What's up with you two? Because there's a vibe." AH HA HA HA HA!! I saw a mini spoiler that Voit picked up on them but I imagined he would be calling Luke out on it privately to taunt him I DIDN'T THINK HE'S ASK THEM BOTH TO THEIR FACE WHAT ALL THAT TENSION WAS

this is no longer garvez crumbs this is garvez ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

Penelope why don't you have an answer? Why don't you have an answer, Penelope?

Couples who insult an inmates smell together stay together 🥰

"subtitle to Mary Shelley's frankenstein" the secret agenda to CME: make Luke super knowledgeable about classic literature. my "luke was an english major" headcanon is just proved more and more right

"Dr. Lews" look at least he's respectful of her title. i feel like ppl forget she's a doctor

Penelope holding up a handkerchief to her nose 😂

"Neglected to ask me that" luke was right, everyone IS a comedian

"You son of a bitch" I love how they are just having Luke call him every name in the book

Luke recognizing morse code like the little army boy he is 🥰

"what the fuck is north star?" that's an episode name, isn't it? does anyone remember what episode it is going to be?

Emily and Rossi plotting to let Voit try to escape so they can shoot him. Okay????

oooh that sounded SO scripted and forced and awkward 😭

"can you do that without fingerprints?" EMILY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST ASK TYLER???

"Same deductive work as the BAU just... faster" 😂😂😂

"Wheels up" i was GAGGED when i saw that in the preview

Tyler found brian!!

Voit just taunting them all like a child has me cackling

Omg he knows about Greencia. If he tries to use it to blackmail them/her Luke is going to rip his head off

"Maybe not that crazy" AKA he noticed Garvez so he's not surprised she'd be messing around with ppl involved in her work

"That's enough" Luke is like "A. don't talk about her that way. B. i don't want to hear about this."

"Why is that enough, Luke?" STOP IT RIGHT NOW I'M CACKLING

"Do us all a favor and shut the fuck up" YESSSSSS JJ

"Tynelope is a thing and that drives Luke crazy." oh my GOD. there is so much here. Ig i can't say Greencia anymore it's Tynelope? and also Voit calling Luke out for being jealous in front of everyone????

Luke looking away from Penelope. BUT PENELOPE LOOKING OVER AT LUKE.

"I haven't thought about you at all" I mean i know it's a lie but it's funny

"Useful idiot" emily i love you

okay why tf is brian suddenly pretending not to know what Gold Star is

Luke back to his undercover rootsssss

ohhhhh this is gonna be the bomb we saw in the trailer isn't it (if it is then i am gonna get SO MANY DAMN FIC IDEAS from this ep)

yepppppp bomb!!

Forget Garvez, clearly the real ship this show is pushing is Luke x Bomb

Every time Penelope says "Luke" I get giddy

Penelope (slighly panicky) walking her bf through the bomb situation so he doesn't die

Penelope calling him "Luke" but Luke calling her "Garcia" is SO personal to me

Penelope that is a VERY happy smile (just tell that man you love him)

@lklvz you get gratuitous Luke saying "fuck" content and i hope it makes you smile

HAHA DAVE PUNCHING VOIT IN THE FACE

oh damn it all to hell, damien

"Teresa is in trouble" the FUCK?

tyler knows teresa??? or Penelope is teresa?

Luke following Penelope haha that's not a surprise

"I don't want to be alone tonight" FUCK YOU, REBECCA

NOOOOO TARA NOOOOO DON'T GO BACK TO HER

More emily smoking!!

EMILY CRYING AND ROSSI HOLDING HER 😭😭

guys that was SO GOOD

one of the best eps so far

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM NOTTING HILL *  assorted dialogue from the 1999 film, adjust as necessary

can i stay for a while?

i went out in my goddamn underwear.

you are lovelier this morning than you have ever been.

wait, what about me?

do you wanna come up?

there seems to be lots of reasons why i shouldn't.

i thought you were leaving tomorrow?

would you like something to eat?

i enjoyed the movie very much.

i love that you tried.

i'm sorry i'm so late.

it just got to the point where i couldn't remember any of the reasons why we were together.

nevertheless, they're yours if you want them.

ah, that's not yogurt. that's mayonnaise.

nice try gorgeous, but you don't fool anyone.

exactly. here we go again.

i just wanted to apologize for my friend. he's very sensitive.

do you feel that way?

can i ask you why you are wearing that?

do you want to stay?

you haven't slept with her, have you?

which way are you going?

how do i look?

god that's an enormous arse.

the thing is, with you i'm in real danger.

i'm sure you didn't mean any harm.

james bond never has to put up with this sort of shit.

sorry, you think you deserve the brownie?

you can stay forever.

that is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.

let me just have a quick look.

would you like a cup of tea before you go?

do you always have to say no to everything?

it's as if i've taken love heroin, and now i can't ever have it again.

it's a clinical thing.

no no no! i thought you were someone else.

you know what they say about men with big feet.

sorry about the "surreal but nice" comment.

is this your first film?

what's the pay like in movies? i mean. last movie. how much did you get paid?

you said "whoopsidaisies."

do you ever masturbate?

no one knows why some things work out and some things don't.

she said she wanted to go out with you?

everyone in the world knows who you are.

i'm also just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him to love her.

what is it about men and nudity? particularly breasts? how can you be so interested in them?

every time i get my heart broken, the newspapers splash it about as though it's entertainment.

the more i think about things, the more i see no rhyme or reason in life.

one day not long from now, my looks will go, they'll discover i can't act and i will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while.

next question? yes, you in the pink shirt.

are there any circumstances that you and he might be more than just friends.

oh god. this is one of those key moments in life when it's possible you can be really, genuinely cool... and i'm failing one hundred percent.

what's all the fuss about?

some people do spend their whole lives together.

anybody saying they want to go out with you is... pretty great, isn't it?

did you know, and this is pretty amazing, but i once saw ringo starr.

probably best not tell anyone about this.

it was sort of sweet, actually.

i've made the wrong decision, haven't i?

i can't believe you have that picture on your wall.

it feels like how being in love should be. floating through a dark blue sky.

busy tomorrow?

you daft prick.

if you'd like to ask your question again?

just going to the kitchen to get some food, then i'm going to tell you a story that will make your balls shrink to the size of raisins.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Hey there Slug! I hope you ain't too buys and might have a lil fun with this one! Of each individual character, what are your respective favorite songs of theirs and why?

This is an easy ask to answer, so I'mma clear it from the pile and get to some older ones eventually.

I assume you mean solo songs only, right?

Under a cut for length because there are a bajillion boys in this series

Ichirou: I like his VA's rapping work in just about everything; he's really solid. Stage Ichirou also has a youthful quality I appreciate a lot, but of the main series songs... probably Break the Wall. It's high energy in a fun way. It also ties into a creative project I've been chewing on for years that's near and dear to my heart, although I'm not sure if I'll ever put it to paper and share it anywhere.

Jirou: I think Jirou's VA has a very pretty singing voice, so I like his softer songs. In general, I admire the "softer" aspects of Jirou's character and think that's where he shines best. So probably School of IKB, although I adore his choruses in Re:start.

Saburou: Requiem. I'm very, very, very into things that commit to being over the top and goofy, and I also enjoy combining classical and baroque elements with other genres. What's not to like here?

Samatoki: Gangsta's Paradise. The high speed rap is technically compelling. I generally appreciate v. fast rap since I enjoy learning and singing them. If the stage plays count, I really enjoy the emotion Samatoki's stage actor brings to Come Back to Me.

Juuto: ...There is some interesting text in the Personality section of Juuto's wiki page. (I have it pulled up to quick reference the song lists.) If anyone with wiki edit powers is reading this, you may want to clean that up... Anyway, I feel like they give Juuto great background music in just about every song, but Uncrushable takes the cake for me. I really like the BG music in that.

Riou: Move Your Body Till You Die, hands down. Goofy as fuck. Also, great workout music.

Ramuda: I find his main voice pretty grating, and his usual styles of music aren't my favorite in general. So Ramuda songs don't do a lot for me. I appreciate Pink Colored Love for plot reasons, though.

Gentarou: The slower Hypmic songs rarely do a lot for me, but I found myself enjoying Yume no Kanata a lot. Not sure I know why, necessarily...

Dice: 3$EVEN was one of the first songs I really enjoyed in Hypmic, and I still like its high energy today. In general, I'm impressed by Dice's VA's rapping ability and appreciate his parts in group songs a lot.

Jakurai: Like I said earlier, I'm not usually a fan of slow songs, so none of Jakurai's solos or duets have ever stood out to me. With that being said, I think Jakurai's speech style and slower rhythms makes him more fun and easier to translate w/ full rhyme and rhythm than many other characters. Like I think Labyrinth Wall would be fun to do a full cover of with syllable matching rhymes and line length while simultaneously trying to stick as close to the core meaning and tone as possible.

Hifumi: Both Champagne Gold and Don't Stop the Party are high-energy bops and great for working out. Slight preference for the former. I also really like his singing voice in group songs.

Doppo: Doppo's angrier verses in group songs are fun, but I'm especially fond of BLACK OR WHITE. In particular, I enjoy the DOTAMA cover. I'm a big DOTAMA fan for both his lyrical strength and considerable rapping chops. He's got a lot of songs that are really punchy and angry in this exact vein, and I love throwing on a playlist of his stuff while grinding out tedious work projects. Hahaha. Just rapping along "I don't want to work. I don't want to work. I don't want to work. BUT HERE I AM, WORKING!!!!" furiously under my breath.

Sasara: Comedian Rhapsody is really fun. This is another song I would love, love, love, love to try and do a full translation w/ preservation of rhyme/line length/jokes. Not for sharing--at that point it's just kinda showing off--but it's fun to chew on bits of it when I have moments of free time.

Roshou: Like most of the slow song characters, Roshou's solos aren't my favorite. I guess I prefer Under Sail to Own Stage for its background music.

Rei: All of Rei's songs are wild to the point of me liking them for the goofiness. If you commit to the bit, I'll enjoy it 9 times out of 10. Doesn't matter what the bit is. Shiro to Kuro is probably my favorite. LOVE the "heh heh we are up to no good" NPC villain energy of that song. But also, shout-out to his singing in Enishi, even if it's nigh-on intelligible to me. I love the hell out of Enishi in general.

Kuko: The king of goof himself. Sou Gyaran BAM is probably my favorite, but I am--to some degree--into virtually every song he's in.

Juushi: Wow, I'm listed as a source on this wiki page, lol. Anyway. Juushi's aesthetic as a whole isn't my cup of tea, but I have a soft spot for Moonlight Shadow, because the first two times I heard it were on Spotify shuffle while I just so happened to be scrubbing a toilet. So for a couple months after, I would put Bad Ass Temple on every time I cleaned the bathroom. Hahaha.

Hitoya: One and Two, and Law is so fucking goofy. I adore it. The live version with the airhorn? Chef's kiss.

Otome: Fuck it, let's do the ladies too. Out of all of her musical appearances, I like Just Do It the most. It adds such an interesting strength to her character, and the English portions are done super well.

Ichijiku: Love, love, love her part in Verbal Justice for its strength. This is yet another song I think would be fun to do a hell TL of, and then I remind myself that trying to rhyme "Kadenokouji" in English is a fool's errand.

Nemu: Her singing voice in WINK is nice, but I love her part in Femme Fatale for its energy. "I'm Nemu, and this is my masterpiece" Fuck yeah it is

[happilychaengs]

Nayeon - Tapes

a/n: had a spark of inspiration. this entire thing is from nayeon's pov. this took a lot of courage to even try and i don't know if this was worth posting or not but i tried doing something new, plot wise and writing wise. didn't proofread so it may have some errors.

word count: 1,219

angst

nayeon x gender neutral reader

When the doorbell rang, I almost couldn't bring myself to stand up and answer it. Not until I heard your name.

"Package for Y/N!" I... couldn't believe it. My chest was tight. My head hurt.

When I saw a box with your name signed on it at my doorstep, everything I've held back finally burst through the floodgates. I cried and cried, each tear staining the cardboard box even more than the last.

I almost didn't have the courage to bring it in but something in me needed to know what it was. There were so many tapes inside, each labeled with different dates. Now I know why you got me a VHS player all those months ago.

Tape 1 - 9/25/21

There you were with a happy smile. As happy as you could have been when you were in a hospital gown, all those syringes pinned inside your arm. You sat down in front of a white wall and yet your eyes were still so bright, almost somehow filling the entire screen with color. You looked so hopeful.

"Hi Nayeon!" You waved directly to the camera with a bright smile and almost for a second, I feel like I'm with you again. Like I'm standing in front of you just having a conversation like any ordinary day with you.

You say all the right things to make me smile despite it all. "I miss you tons already, Nayeon. All these doctors have just been feeding me so much medicine and it's all so disgusting!" You stick your tongue out playfully in disgust, a habit you've picked up from your older sister.

"And all the nurses have been side eyeing me lately for some reason. Maybe it was because I ate another sandwich when they told me not to... oops!" You laugh again and it rings in my ears so clearly. I loved your hearty laugh. The way it always made me laugh too and you'd tease me for it saying I shouldn't be laughing at you.

"I didn't want to sit in my bed all day and watch old people television so I asked for some favors and here I am now before you! Your great protector Y/N!" A nickname you gave yourself when you once killed a cockroach that crawled into my shoes.

"I also know I've been out of tune with the trends lately but I learned this from Jeongyeon when she visited earlier!" Then you dabbed like it wasn't a dead trend for years already, you giggling to yourself as you did it. God, you and Jeongyeon were such dorks together. I wish you knew she misses you a lot too.

Then a person, maybe a doctor or a nurse, was heard outside your room. Something about you going to get your treatment. You just nodded at them as you looked back to the camera, your smile still on your face.

"That's all for now, Nay! But don't worry! I'll be back!" You said in that annoying terminator impression of yours that I secretly loved. I wish I told you.

Tape 2 - 10/01/21

"Happy Anniversary, darling!" You shouted as you pulled on a small confetti popper. "I'm really sorry that we can't celebrate our anniversary together because of me but I wanted to record this to tell you how much I love you!"

You pulled out a small piece of paper which I could definitely recognize as a poem. You always did that on our anniversaries. Something new and original every year albeit sometimes they didn't make sense because you wanted to rhyme but that didn't matter. I loved them all.

Clearing your throat, you read it aloud with a stupid accent you say is 'just like Shakespeare!'

"Like a sunshine to the horizon, you were bound to light up my world.

Like water to the ocean, I feel like we're inseparable.

Whatever I say is true, I give you my word.

You're my one true love, irreplaceable.

Even when I sit here surrounded by death,

The thought of you gives me life.

I wish to love you till my very last breath,

So someday I may call you my wife."

You folded up the paper and set it down, staring directly at the camera with your ever bright smile. "Well! I hope you liked it! I really tried hard for that one since you know... can't take you out anywhere right now." And if only you knew how much that poem meant to me right now.

Tape 3 - 10/11/21

"Hey Nay!" You still haven't lost the glow in your eyes yet as you coddled the small teddy bear I gave you that day. "I know you just visited me but I couldn't help but want to sit down and record another tape for you in secret! I really miss you a lot but I'm glad I can have Mr. Cuddles by my side." I felt a small smile at my lips as I finally figured out what you named that bear that came along with the tapes.

"I also made a new friend here that I didn't tell you last time! I became friends with one of the nurses and now they sometimes give me extra food but don't tell anyone! It's our little secret..." You whispered.

I missed those parts of you. The social butterfly that could become friends with anyone even when you were bed ridden and that sort of free spirit you possessed. Not bound by anything. I wished those parts of you I could try to imitate at least but you really are irreplaceable.

You spoke up again as you tried peering out of your rooms windows and into the hallway. "I think I got to go but I'll definitely come back, Nayeon. Promise." I wish you kept it. Why'd you have to be so bad with promises?

Tape 4 - 12/15/21

"Nayeon. You heard the doctors." Your eyes were filled with such despair, the colors missing now. An apparent void in you. "I've... decided that these tapes will only make it to you if I..." you choked out, "if I die. If you ever see these then... I'm sorry for not being strong enough. For not fighting harder for you."

I wish you didn't say that. I should have been there for you. I should have fought harder with you. Water pooled in my eyes as my hands faltered on the remote, wanting to pause it and forget about it all but how could I ever forget? I love you.

"Nayeon. If I'm really gone, I... want you to move on if you haven't already by the time you're watching this. I know how stubborn you are. If we were really meant for each other then... I'll find you in our next life but for now please move on. For me." Maybe the only thing you could've asked me that I can't do.

"For the rest of my time, I'll record some more tapes for you just to cheer you up if I really am gone but I'm sorry if I sound a little... sad. It comes with the diagnosis." You let out a low chuckle as you reached over to the camera and shut it off, leaving me alone again.

[wyldfell]

Hi! I just have a few questions that I'm asking with no malice or judgement (if they come across as such) just out of curiosity for something that you said in one of your posts.

I was just wondering what the biggest things you don't like about HOTD S2 are. What contradictions/mixed signals, the themes/messages you're disappointed that the writers aren't touching on, how you feel like the writers are afraid to commit and hiding it under "open to interpretation", the vague writing with the pendulum constantly swinging with no rhyme or reason and from one stance in the story to the next.

I'd also like to know how you think that HOTD S2 enjoyers/haters mirror GOT S8 enjoyers/haters.

Hi, anon! I'll answer your last question first: I didn't mean to say the response to GOT s8 mirrors the response to HOTD s2, I meant more like.... the ghost of GOT s8 seems to be haunting HOTD s2 to its own detriment. A lot of the changes to Rhaenyra's character seem to be in response to the Dany backlash even though the two have nothing to do with each other and - contrary to what they're trying to push in s2 especially - they have no relation whatsoever in connection to ~*Aegon's Dream*~. Objectively, it's a bad way to "correct" the wrongs of GOT s8 (which weren't C&H's doing, that beef had nothing to do with them and they'd have done better to just ignore the whole fiasco and forge their own path), and it's also a disservice to HOTD as a whole because why are you letting GOT influence a spin-off which should have been strong enough to stand on its own??? But there are those in the audience who still want redemption for Daenerys and C&H are willing to pay fanservice to them through Rhaenyra even though it weakens her character and their own story (and like I said, they should've let D&D's failings stay D&D's failings).

This connects to your first question about contradictions and mixed signals and I'm going to be discussing spoilers for the Dance, so here's a warning and a cut!

We already know how Rhaenyra ends up. I think one of the biggest complaints about later-season Dany is that her Mad Queen Arc had almost no build-up, it came out of nowhere and didn't feel earned, so onscreen it read like straight-up character assassination so she could be fridged by Jon Snow, the ice to her fire, the tragic love of her life, etc, etc. And many did come out of it feeling like Dany had become a victim to sexism in the narrative, when I think that could've been avoided by, like I said, making her arc feel earned as opposed to senseless and arbitrary.

HOTD overcorrects in its treatment of women by defaulting to women = inherently good, except for when they are corrupted by men, and men = bad. So much of s1 and 2 was spent painting Rhaenyra as the Rightful Queen Who (Literally) Does No Wrong, calling back to early-season!Daenerys who was simply trying to reclaim her birthright, even though their situations are vastly different and have little else in common. But since we know that Rhaenyra ends up rejected by the smallfolk, deposed, and killed by her brother Aegon, now C&H have to plant the seeds that will ultimately lead to Rhaenyra's downfall. It started happening last ep with the dragonseeds, but as much as I like this new direction, it does - again - feel like it wasn't sufficiently earned when they've spent the last few episodes trying to hide older!Rhaenyra's faults underneath the couch cushions (I single out older!Rhaenyra because Milly Alcock's Rhaenyra had the fire and the stubbornness and the impulsiveness and arrogance that would have served older!Rhaenyra's plot so well, but I think those parts of her were removed to make her more sympathetic by the time of the Dance [young!Rhaenyra is SO Aegon-coded and I think they wanted some distance from that so you could see Aegon as a useless debauched idiot with no taste for duty and Rhaenyra as a mature grown woman and mother who is reasonable and wise and good]).

Now all of a sudden we're supposed to question Rhaenyra's behavior. The way ep7 was shot, the music and the framing, all direct the audience towards a feeling of horror at the Red Sowing. BUT! This is directly contradicted by the way the final scene of the episode is shot, which is Rhaenyra triumphant on Dragonstone while Aemond orders Vhagar to flee... so what are you trying to say? This is what I mean by pendulum swinging and contradiction. And it isn't just with Rhaenyra. It's in the way they now give Aemond cartoonish villain shots and refer to him as a "monster" bts when they spent so many eps trying to make you sympathize with him. It's in the way Alicent goes back and forth between supporting her children and (seemingly) wishing she could go back in time and let Rhaenyra be queen. It's in the way Rhaenyra's sexual freedom is celebrated but Alicent is tortured by the narrative for having sexual urges (which you could argue is down to the Faith, but then her Faith is never meaningfully explored in any way; it exists solely as a way to torture her). It's in the decision to make Aegon a rapist and Larys a sexual deviant, ignore it when it suits them, and bring it back up again whenever they want, depending on whether the scene calls for sympathy or comeuppance. It's in not letting Rhaenyra spill any blood or be complicit in any until the Red Sowing (Blood and Cheese is ignored by the story after Rhaenyra just barely holds Daemon to account, and when she does it's only to say "you weakened my claim by making me out to seem cruel").

It seems continually like there is a separate set of rules for the Blacks and the Greens, which throws off the messaging of the entire series because worlds need consistency!!! In ASOIAF and early GOT, bad things happen to good people, those good people make crucial strategic and/or moral errors, "bad" characters get sympathetic moments and understandable motivations, and sometimes they end up winning. This was true across the board, so the moves felt consistent with the inner logic of the world. In HOTD, Rhaenyra, from Day 1, has been framed as the protagonist who is in the moral, ethical, and legal right, but we know her ending contradicts that. So now the writers are trying to backtrack on the thread they have followed up until now by making her a religious zealot who believes she is the gods-ordained Queen who will save the world even though we were BARELY made aware of her undergoing a religious awakening. And yet, they are still afraid of making her too unsympathetic, so they throw in the Girlboss Frame™ and, as the leaks suggest, do Other Things to keep one foot in Rhaenyra Right and another in Rhaenyra Bad. That's what I mean by a lack of commitment and, I would also add, a lack of conviction.

If you want to be the Feminist Dragon Show, you do that by letting Rhaenyra be a full-rounded individual with her own selfish desire for the Iron Throne. You keep her impetuousness, her impulsiveness, her arrogance, you let her keep those traits as a mother and claimant to the throne, you sloooowly work in the erosion of her morals by letting her in steady increments abandon all notion of right and wrong in favor of her pursuit for power. If you want to make her a "cult leader," as Condal said, you make her start talking about the Old Gods a lot sooner. You show her as eager for respect, taking no shit from her councilors, clashing with Daemon, angry at the murder of Lucerys, eager for the deaths of her half-brothers, determined to win the crown at any cost because it's personal (and not because of some prophecy, a move which robs her of agency and a whole ass personality). Girlboss Frames™ are not enough. That is surface level. They should have trusted the audience to embrace a show about messy women. Instead, they give us a Rhaenyra who makes NO decisions until abruptly she does. Sometimes those decisions have consequences, other times those decisions are forgotten or justified. And even when her decisions are allowed to stand, there are always caveats.

And they do this to everyone!!!! It is most frustrating with Rhaenyra and Alicent, but all of the characters feel like they're planted in shallow soil because they want to be able to frame them as good or bad depending on the situation, as opposed to having deep roots and having their words and actions feel natural and organic. They are SO wishy-washy and it is SO frustrating because you can't follow a show like that!!! Do the Greens consider themselves a family or not? Is Aemond a cold-blooded murderer or not? Did Alicent place all of her cards on the table for her children or not? Are we meant to NOW see Viserys as a good father and model king? Are sexual women rewarded or punished in this show? Does this show believe women have agency, even within patriarchal structures, or does it relegate them to pawns in service to the whims of men? Do the smallfolk matter or don't they? Do the traumas of your childhood explain your faults as an adult or are you expected to, idk, magically escape them? Does coming out relatively unscathed give you the moral high ground over people who cannot process their experiences? Which crimes are forgivable and which crimes deserve to be held over your head in perpetuity? Is Daemon acknowledged in-universe as an abuser or isn't he? if he is, why is his treatment of women upheld as better than Criston's, who is punished within the narrative time and again for not accepting Rhaenyra's offer while Daemon gets to have a whole redemption arc that did very little to address his misogyny? Is this a world that believes a desire for power is inherently corrupt? if so, why is Rhaenyra not subject to that? why is her striving for power considered more morally upright than Alicent's? I have a million of these questions, which would not exist if the show knew what it was about and had better follow-through!!!

[garfunklefield]

Good for you!

CollegeStudent!Misa Amane/ CollegeStudent!Light Yagami Warnings: college AU, misa is smart YALL, insecurity, oblivious crushes, dating apps, academic rivals to lovers, one-sided rivalry/hatred, misa HATES light (or does she ;) ), honorifics used poorly bc I'm American I'm trying, meet cute more like meet and argue in the philosophy section of a library, jealousy, this hatred may not be one-sided Word count: 3379 DESC: Misa had always had trouble looking at dating apps, everyone after her beauty than her intellect. She wanted someone who could challenge her mentally. What if that someone happened to be a boy she hated, who had no idea she existed?

First death note post in a while! I am still however taking a break from x-reader content ;-;

NOTES: Honestly, I've been wanting to write this for so long, but I've been a bit timid to do so. So if this isn't your thing or you don't like the ship, I ask please don't send any hate my way. This really had no direction rather than I wanted one-sided beef instead of one-sided romance that we see in the anime/manga. Also, this is so not coherent I got derailed (and not proofread we ball) so go into this knowing it's a little bit bad.

“God!” She huffed to herself, rolling on her back and extending her arms out, holding her phone further from her face. Dating apps sucked and boys sucked! And not to mention everyone in her college classes thought she was too weird to approach. Or they were too snarky, like that older boy, Light Yagami, in her seminar class. All he did was talk every chance he got, insisting he was right on every point he made. He always got on her nerves, especially since he dressed so poorly. Sweaters and button-ups with no rhyme or reason. That boy didn’t even try with his hair either, opting for some bed-head looking swoop that barely covered his eyes. What was this, 2007? Well, Misa couldn’t judge too much since her style was influenced by the 2000s too. But it was the good part! Not Justin Bieber.

The blonde sat up and frowned at her phone. No new matches, nothing more than an empty box on her Hinge. She had been swiping all day but no one was catching her eye. No one would even reply to her comments on their profiles, it was pointless! Without saying another word, she dialed up her friend Kiyomi and prayed she’d answer. When it clicked and she heard her friend's voice, she didn’t give her friend time to speak. 

“Kiyo-chan! It’s just awful,” she whined, frowning to the air as she moved her freshly manicured hand in the air, “Boys suck!” Kiyomi laughed into her phone, something relaxed and laid back. Something her friend wasn’t. That’s why they complimented each other so much, they were different. The women didn’t care for fashion as her counterparts did, or boys for that matter.

“You’re just being insecure,” she replied, with the obvious tone of someone who knew she was right, “If you stop forcing it, you’re bound to find someone.”

Misa gasped at the blunt truth, furrowing her brows, “I’m not forcing it!” But she knew her friend was right, “It’s not my fault if I want a boyfriend sooner than later.” As she spoke, she stood up from her bed and stretched one arm out, looking at herself in the mirror before her bed. It was just tall enough to show her whole frame, long blonde hair cascading before her shoulders. Face was bare from makeup, hollow with acne scarring and blemishes she always covered. Thin eyelashes and thinner brows, dark spots, and freckles littered her skin. 

There was a reason she wanted someone to be with her more than obvious loneliness, it was because deep down inside she wanted someone to assure her she was beautiful. Not her face, but her soul. She knew she was pretty, even with her imperfections. But no one ever complimented her wit or her intelligence, it was all about her body or her face. A face no one had ever seen bare after a night spent together. No one had ever slept in her bed, not the whole night through. Yes, she’d have had sex before, but it wasn’t with someone she loved. It was hard to love someone when they only loved your looks. 

“Well,” Kiyomi brought her back to reality with the smooth concentration of her voice, “You could go to the library and stake out some fresh meat. I think Yagami-Senpai is there today.”

Him. Oh, she hated him. 

“No, I don’t care if he’s your tutor, no,” Amane quickly interjected, pressing her plump lips together. Him? Why did her friend always assume the blonde’s hatred for him was something more when all it was, was just that. Hatred. Some girls pretended to dislike him to cover up for the fact they did like him, whereas Misa would proudly announce everything she hated about him. She hated people who weren’t cute, and he wasn’t cute. 

She laughed, “Aw come on Misa-chan! It’s not like he’s gonna bite,” her voice came out teasing, causing her friend to bite back a flustered feeling building in the back of her throat. Her cheeks began to blush out of frustration. 

“I don’t even think he likes women,” Misa scoffed, pretending to sound unbothered, “He has that thing with the foreign exchange student, Lawliet-san.” Light and Eru had some kind of “beef” with each other academically, although they’d always find time to play tennis together. It was strange, how they could go from yelling in debate to getting ice cream moments later. She never bothered to listen when they’d fight, instead opting to put in her headphones and wait until they stopped blabbing. 

“But Lawliet-san is seeing Misora-senpai,” Kiyomi spoke, delving into more gossip than she should, “Or maybe it’s his brother, Ryuzaki-senpai. They’re basically identical.” 

“No, Ryuzaki-senpai is seeing her,” she outstretched her hand to check her nails, which she knew were perfect, “Lawliet-san is a shut-in, he only ever talks to Yagami-san,” she clarified, hearing a genuine “oh” from the other line. 

“Darn, I was hoping for a scandal,” at that, Misa laughed, “But you should go to the library. I heard they updated their philosophy section~” She spoke in a sing-song voice, trying to entice the blonde to go out and inevitably run into you know who. 

“Why are you so gung-ho on me and that rat getting together? I haven’t even formally said hello to him yet!” She rolled her eyes, looking down at the floor. Some clothes were littered on the floor, as she got dressed. That’s how it always went for Amane. She wasn’t necessarily messy as she was just … no she was messy, even she could admit it. She loved cute things and she especially loved to collect cute things even more. 

“No time like the present,” she could hear the smile in Kiyomi’s voice as she said her goodbyes, “Remember, library.” 

“Bye, Kiyo-chan,” Misa spoke softly, hanging up the phone. No matter what, even if they disagreed on her love life, she’d always go to Kiyomi. She was the best friend anyone could ask for, even if she was heading on a different life path. She was only going to college because her parents wanted her to, not because she had a drive. Her friend had dreams of going into music and making it big as a producer. The girl never understood the kind of passion she had, but she admired it. If only she was as passionate about modeling as her friend was about producing music.

The blonde looked around her room, and then to her mirror. Her outfit was presentable enough that she could go out without being stopped or better yet looked at funny. Just a simple T-shirt from a band she enjoyed. It was black with a grey kind of tie-dye effect, the white logo spread across the chest. Then some simple black jean shorts, with the end a bit tattered and ripped. All of it was more casual than she’d typically wear, but it was cute enough. With some light concealer on her acne and under her eyes, blush on the apples of her cheeks, and mascara, she was ready to go. 

Misa couldn’t believe she was being talked into going to the library, especially when it was confirmed you know who was there. In some strange way, she hoped she’d see him, just so she could turn the other way and scoff. He didn’t deserve her attention! So why did she spend so much time hating him when truthfully they had never even spoken? She had to admit, that did kind of set her up to appear to have a crush on him.

The walk to the library was quick and easy, especially with the music she chose. It was something dark, that reflected her taste in clothing, although it contrasted her personality. The tune blasted in her black over-the-ear headphones, letting the girl escape just for a moment from the reality in which she lived. It let her escape from the fact that truly she’s never had a true romantic connection, and even if she did it was always one-sided. When Misa loved, she loved so much harder. And the people who loved her loved her face. Loved her body, so much more. It was nothing, it barely bothered her. That’s at least what she told herself, every time she looked in the mirror.

Misa opened the door to the library and peered around. No one she hated in sight, a good start. She was riddled with some kind of butterflies just at the thought of him, especially seeing him in his natural environment. It was annoying, she’d always see him with a book in his arms as he walked around campus. What a pretentious douchebag! All he ever did when he wasn’t talking over people in his classes was brag about the amount of books he was reading. No one cared he was reading 30,000 words a day, no one. Especially not her. Every time she heard him in class a little part of her died. 

She approached the section her brain had been most excited about. Of course, it was probably bait, but she wasn’t going to give up an opportunity to see if there were new philosophy books in store for her to peruse. Amane found herself almost tunnel-visioned when she slid up and down the aisles, searching for something new. The smell of books was something euphoric, even though she didn’t own many books herself. While she enjoyed fiction, non-fiction was always more easy to read. The blonde drew closer to one big book in particular, that was begrudgingly two inches taller than her arm could extend. Misa frowned, pouting a glossy lip as she tried to step on her tippy-toes. But nothing. She was overextending herself for a book that she wasn’t even sure if she would like.

“Need help?” A voice whispered into her ear. A voice all too familiar. It couldn’t be. No!! Misa slowly turned her head in a flustered horror, cheeks reddening as she came face to face with her mortal enemy. HIM!? The man she had hated for months, who, to be fair, never turned his head 90 degrees to notice she was sitting by his right. He never saw her glares or the way she’d roll her eyes when he’d start talking. Never saw any of it. 

Light’s face was more detailed up close, as anyone would. But it was different. This kind of thing, freckles and lines on his face, bits of stubble, all made him look … human. It was strange. She could almost reach out and touch it, just to see if it was real. Up close, his eyes were deep pools of caramel she noticed shined in the fluorescent light. He looked like that but dressed like shit? He was throwing away any potential of being attractive at that point. 

“Yagami-san,” Misa breathed out, staring at him with wide eyes. He didn’t expect her to know him at all, she assumed, from the way he took a step back. 

The man pressed his lips together, before cracking a planned and devious smile, “In the flesh.” Both of his hands gestured back to himself, “Do I know you?” Of course, he didn’t. 

She went to respond, but her eyes trailed back to that book. If she had just been able to reach she’d be out of this awkward situation. The girl looked back at him, nodding her head slowly, “Seminar. I sit near you.” Loudmouth. That’s what she wanted to say. She wanted to roll her eyes and complain about how annoying he was, but all that came out were timid words and even more timid body language. Misa had to remind herself, she was in control of social situations. Even with guys she hated. So she straightened her posture, putting on a mask of confidence and comfort, lifting her hand and pointing her index finger to the side, “You talk a lot, of course, I know you!” 

She had to be confident. 

Light blinked a few times, caught back a bit by her sudden shift in demeanor. He had expected shy and timid, he was probably hoping for it. He liked winning, it was in his blood. Only rarely did the girl see him obviously throw a round in tennis, knowing he would bounce back for a spectacular victory. All he ever did was calculated and precise. Not once was it spontaneous. He never had a spontaneous bone in his body! He had expected this social situation differently by her stance alone, so the fact she turned on this sense of confidence had to be jarring. Good. She never wanted anything she ever did to be easy for him. 

“Well, I do like to debate, I find it men-” The brunette began, to be cut off with a blunt, “It’s annoying.” His smile twitched and she replied with a smug smile of her own. Oh, this felt good. It felt amazing to rub in the fact she did not like him. TO HIS FACE!

“Excuse me?” Light raised his eyebrows at her response. 

“Yeah! Sorry, was I not clear?” Misa tilted her head to the right innocently. To that, the man scowled visibly. “I don’t understand why you butt in all the time. It leaves no one else wanting to talk because you’ll debate them on moral high ground stuff.” 

“The trolley problem is a very good, intellectual topic everyone should discuss.” Light spoke, gritting his teeth through a strained smile. Had no one ever challenged him before? Eru was good, but he knew his friend's limits. And that too. They were friends. There was a friendly competition there, but there was nothing friendly about Misa’s words.

“The topic was online reading verses books! You totally derailed it with intellectual bullshit,” she looked away, biting back a smug smile. He paused for a moment, studying her features with a razor-sharp focus she knew anywhere. He was smart, it was obvious from how he held himself. Sloppy handwriting and notes led to well-thought-out and complex thoughts. Light was smart and he knew it, and that pissed her off. Everyone treated him as if he was a genius when their IQs could be similar. But she wouldn’t be treated like that, would she? Was Misa … jealous? Was she secretly jealous over the fact that everyone treated him with respect for his intellect when no one acknowledged hers?

“Then why don’t we discuss this intellectual bullshit, if it is that?” He turned his head to the side, catching her gaze with an intense fire. He wasn’t backing down. 

 Misa didn’t have to think much, already coming up with her decision when Light brought it up that class period for some fucking reason, “A human life is a human life, sparing one to save ten would be worth it in my opinion.” She pressed her index finger into her pink bottom lip, looking away to point out another thought, “In that way, I believe we agree. But,” she looked at him, “You only brought it up to show your smarts, not that you actually care about the iPhones vs books debate. You just want to look smart.” 

“I am smart,” he corrected, closing his eyes and letting out a scoff, “And I like to show it off. That isn’t a crime, is it? You think you’re superior because you pick and choose your battles, instead of clearing the battlefield with one steady blow.” Light opened his eyes, catching her in a decisive truth that struck her in the chest, “I’m right. I know I am.”

She furrowed her eyes, going to retaliate with another valid yet rude point, when he took a step forward, “Truth is, Amane-san, I knew who you were from the moment I saw you.” Another step. “I only offered my help because you looked pitiful trying to grab that book by your lonesome.” Another step. “I see you roll your eyes and make faces. So maybe I play it up just to … Piss. You. Off.” He took three more steps, hovering over the shorter blonde with a sense of superiority. 

Misa stared up at him as he cornered her behind those stupid philosophy books. He wasn’t close by any means, giving her enough room to leave if she wanted to. But the both of them knew she wasn’t going to. She was standing her ground and she was intending to win this battle. Even if it meant being in this embarrassing position. Her cheeks were burning and god, she wanted so badly to strangle him. 

“And you didn’t want to confront me? Your whole plan was to annoy everyone for the rest of the year to make me annoyed? That’s not a smart plan, Yagami-san,” she scoffed, shaking her head in mock disappointment, “I think you’re overcompensating.” 

“For what? I have nothing to overcompensate for when I’m perfectly content,” he pressed his lips together innocently, “But you do. You want to stand out so someone can see you for who you are, but the truth is no one will. They only see your cheesy modeling career and expect something out of you. It’s pathetic, really.” 

With that, Light stepped away and put one hand in his pocket. He looked at her with a softer expression, something he’d wear when walking to class. “This was mentally stimulating,” a small, and confusing to Misa, smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, “Thank you..”

He … Googled her? 

Misa found herself blinking furiously after that, not to hide tears, but to try to comprehend what had just happened, and what she was feeling afterward. Why wasn’t she angry, but interested? That had been the most interesting conversation she had, had in months. At every turn, he said something she didn’t expect, and vice versa. It was different than Eru and him since they would always come to the same conclusion at the end. It was different because they weren’t friends. But why did she want to do that again? It was something she had to unpack. 

Light was smart and cocky about it, something she always hated. In talking to him he didn’t shy away from the truth, instead throwing it in her face. It was something refreshing to hear someone tell her the truth without trying to spare her feelings. Kiyomi was her dearest friend, but she was her friend. Friends weren’t always truthful. He didn’t care. Maybe that’s why she wanted to hear more from him, pick his brain. Figure out what it was that made him tick. Figure out why he was so damn smug. 

As the man turned away and began to walk, she lurched forward and grabbed his arm. It was stupid, it was arguably the most stupid thing she was about to do. But she was craving this kind of conversation. The kind that showed her soul. He never once denied her intellect but poked at her career and her insecurity. Sure, it was a dick move and she would thoroughly make him pay for it. Yet, he never said she wasn’t smart. He never once called her stupid.

“Yagami-san,” she spoke, as he turned his head to look at her with confusion riddled in his expression, “I want to do this again.”

Misa got his number. And she instantly regretted it from the prick smile adorned on his face.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Ray, light of my days (yes a keep calling you that because it rhymes and I'm a sucker for that) you will not believe this shit

Today instead of going to school I had to go to a fucking police station (yeah, I got a pass for that lol) because some asshole went there to report me for writing fucked up shit on the internet.

Yeah you read that right.

It was kind of a horror, but like pretty fucked up violent stuff. I wrote it because I had to get it out of my head because I can't even deal with thoughts like that. I proofread it and I haven't touched it since because it's so incredibly fucked up that I literally can't. I wrote it out to get rid of it and I posted it because it was actually grammatically correct and some people are into that kind of stuff (good for them). (I mean validation was a reason too but shhhh) And then I forgot about it like I wanted to. I posted it last year.

And some twelve year old little kids read it together as a dare and had nightmares and a mother reported me to the police and tried to sue me and I had to go there and me and some police officer had to convince that witch that she legally cannot do that. It was tagged, there was a note at the front and at the end and at the start of the story itself that it's incredibly fucked up and to read at your own fucking peril and get the fuck out if you're a kid.

I posted it on a smaller site I don't really check and not in English because I just couldn't get it out like that, it just wasn't violent enough and it had to be for some reason. And I forgot that I filled out the introduction for the profile so if someone really wanted to trace me they could (yeah I was a dumb kid when I created the profile why do you ask).

So tell me why a gaggle of twelve year olds read it and then had the audacity to whine when it literally started with "not for the faint of heart, this is 18+, I literally vomited while writing this, please don't read it if you're a kid or can't deal with it"?

Like I get the thrill, I'm 20 and still do dumb shit I know will affect me badly later just because I want to with literally no other motivation needed but that's on me. Shit like that was on me ten years ago and it's on me now. I'm literally in the smack dab middle of gen z and I don't understand. It's not even the chronically online because I am chronically online.

I just don't understand.

Ps.: Also tell me if you don't want me to write asks like this bc then I won't, it's just since the start of the plague my life went from 16% to 135% real fast for some reason and I think you might get a kick out of some of these.

This was a wild ride from start to finish babe.

I hate that you had the stress of dealing with that, especially since you obviously did everything right on your end.

That mom's gonna be in for one hell of a shock when she figures out the rest of the internet too.

And na babe you're good, just always make sure to tell me if you send something in you don't want posted so I can answer privately instead

[darkboysroadtrip]

New Anon here! 🍃✨🍃✨ Uh- just wanna do a little check in on everyone (especially after reading up on what happened in the last ten days)

Also I have several questions as to what is going on. Why-how-where is Thomas? And is everyone okay? Like yall need something? I can make an Ubereats call—

The play the twins just put on for this small group of kids has ended and thus, the children are all scattering back to where they came from within the library.

Thomas is smiling wide, he especially loved seeing this little performance, he's bouncing around Remus and Roman excitedly - as a four year old does.

"That was sooooooooo fun!!" he squeals in delight, little fists waving around in glee.

Roman ruffles his hair, "maybe one day your fathers can take you to see one of my shows."

Thomas' eyes go wide and starry - he turns his gaze on Remus, "caaaaaan we?"

Remus chuckles, "sure small stuff, uncle Roro here has some pretty fun roles!"

"Maybe leave some of those roles for when he's older hm?" Logan says walking up to them with Annie walking beside him.

Thomas rushes to Logan, he pulls on his shirt "Did you see them? Did you did you?"

"I saw the ending, it was quite powerful wasn't it?"

Thomas nods rapidly.

"Oh he's precious, is he yours?" Annie asks Logan.

Logan chokes a little, "oh, no he's"-

"He's my little smile monster" Remus interrupts scooping Thomas up.

"Ours" Dee says walking up to them with Virgil in tow, "the three of us" he motions to himself, Remus and Virge.

"Oh, another thruple" Annie says, "is that common out side of small towns?"

"I'm not sure on those statistics" Logan answers, "it just happened like that for us."

Annie nods, "okay I'm also confused on this whole thing, what's going on?"

"It aaaaall started ten daaaays ago! Though it's felt like four wonderful years!" Remus begins, "I decided to bring my two boyfriends here on a road trip, yaaay!" -he wiggles his hands about- "and in turn it started The Blog.

"We have viewers! We're not exactly sure how they work honestly" Remus leans in and stage whispers, "sometimes I think we might have magic following us."

Annie looks even more confused.

Remus waves around dismissing what he just said, "anyway! We're on a road trip, there's no rhyme or reason to it except to just do it! And I roped my brother and his partners in a few days ago, though they're not staying the whole time.

"As for the 'how'" Remus shrugs, "idunno what you really want from me here, it just happened like this. Life works in myyyyyysterioooous waaaays."

"Also" Virgil pipes up, "yeah, we're okay for now, we actually aren't really sure what to do for the rest of the day..."

"Oh oh are we taking requests to do stuff!" Remus asks a little excited.

"Sure, why not" Virgil responds, "requests or random questions or whatever, shoot it this way."

"That's, oddly tame for this trip" Dee muses.

"Don't tempt them" Virgil mutters.

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

me rushing to your bed like that candance MOM HOLY FUCK meme with chicken soup bc mwa anyways let's get this bread 💬 with jaide stone and zinnia since women hating women is a thing 😔🤙 (might throw you more idk) also highly honored to have my ocs in your s/i list 🫡 those are my boys

i may not be drinking chicken soup but i have nice tea to warm my itchy throat ✨✨ thank you mwamwa also of COURSE i have to include some of your OCs especially clear. it's almost hard for me to imagine the story without maroon or clear in it 😭

okay. oh no. my switch has been flickered. you decided to ask ME about ZINNIA? aka the woman who completely altered ruby's childhood? while I understand her hatred towards steven and devon corp itself she's still got issues that im not EXCUSING MF 💥 women hate women still exists im afraid and jaide stone is nothing but a hater when this lady comes around 💥

okay so let's start in the R/S arc. the salamence event happens, ruby gets injured. sounds easy right? sure, but why did it even happen in the first place? nobody knew where the salamence came from - that's what jaide held the biggest contempt for.

"who in the world, was this sick and twisted to allow their dragon creature come to fight harmless children?"

she didn't have the answers yet, but the day would get even worse when she also learns that steven's devon corporation has gone through with an accident that had something to do with... releasing the sky legend. and it was because of a salamence as well. while I imagine steven refusing to disclose that specific detail about caging a beast down (corporation secrets, you know?) it's still easy to tell jaide that he's very upset, combined with him learning what happened to ruby too. it was not a great day for anyone, not even professor birch, I'm sure.

but from that day onward, jaide would do her best to find out the perpetrator that caused this trauma on the children, she's not just doing this for ruby, but for sapphire as well. she's had this same feeling as before, when gold gets in trouble for dealing with the evil scums of the g/s/c arc. she just knew that feeling too well, and didn't want it to happen again. her willpower to find out the truth keeps expanding as she's forced to watch the strained relationship between ruby and steven become stronger as time goes by - they rarely talk about that incident, but it's like a core memory to everyone involved there.

proceeding to the oras arcs, i can't really imagine jaide to be very involved from the get-go, but that would be until she would learn about the meteorite that would come to destroy all of hoenn - she's more or less of a supporting character. i would have to reread this again to give you a full answer on what she can do

but let's skip to the good part, when jaide does learn that zinnia was the one responsible for all this. i can't remember the sequence of events too well, but let's assume it all happened on this part where zinnia brings fourth the reformed magma and aqua team. (again i could be assuming the sequence of events wrong but yeah shh)

she has no idea who she is, but from the way she spoke so lowly about devon (a company that everyone loves) and having that intimidating salamence by her side - she couldn't help but assume maybe this could be the one. combined with jaide's smart sense of pokemon nature reading - she can only assume it was the aggressive salamence that fought without rhyme or reason from years ago + the same salamence also attacked steven's corporation.

i like to imagine jaide didn't say much as first, as she's not one to be so brash and act upon it quickly and allows zinnia to proudly monologue about her plans, slowly trying to understand what's going on. part of her plan includes stealing the keystones to win the favor of the sky beast, and who else had a keystone? steven stone.

sending out her goodra, it immobilzes steven with its goo and commands it to steal his stickpin - jaide panics but steven wanted her out of this. but just in the nick of time:

ruby comes in a clutch to stop the goodra from stealing his stickpin. distracted, jaide would try to lunge at zinnia and try to apprehend her and keep her in place - grabbing her wrists and looking at her dead in the eyes - quite the angry mother, huh? while she didn't understand the whole context of what's going on, she knew that zinnia was bad business and wanted her to talk it out. that's when jaide asks her to confirm her speculations

"your salamence, that was the same one from 9 years ago, wasn't it? it wrecked havoc in the corporation."

zinnia would snicker.

"of course! it was also thanks to a little boy that made it even more agitated, and it broke off the cages to set the sky legend free."

her suspicions would be correct, it was the same one that harmed her son 9 years ago. the events lined up exactly with the woman's words.

jaide... was furious. but, she can't just fight all of a sudden, it's not like her but the least she can do was to call upon her ursaring to keep zinnia pinned - I mean, she got the boss, right?

zinnia would snicker at steven again.

"you're married? it would seem you're not the most honest husband around."

jaide assumed she was just... trying to piss her off. but in reality, jaide was missing a few chunks of context that steven had regrettably hidden away from her.

ruby stopped his mother from being passive aggressive towards the perpetrator, and would give up his and emerald's keystone bracelets just to simply say that he "wants this to be over."

it wouldn't be long before zinnia sets out, thanking ruby for the keystones and flying out of the place. jaide was stunned, steven looked dejected again.

it would seem he still has to clear up a few things about what he and his father does for a living.

it's complicated to be a family and business man at the same time.

[cursedvibes]

As a fan of Monster (by Naoki Urasawa), who do you think is a better antagonist in their own story, Johan or Sukuna? Why do you think that? At first I want to ask for comparison between Johan and Kenjaku. But then, I guess you'll answer Kenjaku, right?

Also, somehow, I don't think Kenjaku as an antagonist. Even Mahito is more of an antagonist for me. Sorry if I'm wrong, and if my ask is kinda random and silly.....

P.s

If Monster's characters somehow transported to JJK univese and they got cursed energies, who do you think will survive?

Thanks for the ask, it's really interesting!

First of all for the "Kenjaku as antagonist" part, I can see why you think this way because all major antagonists are there to oppose Yuuji and as things stand right now, Kenjaku doesn't do that. Kenjaku is absolutely an obstacle for Yuuji, pretty much since his birth, but he doesn't really deal with the (very personal and existential) challenge they pose to him. He just waits until the problem goes away by itself... That is why I also think Kenjaku is most accurately described as the "main antagonist" because Kenjaku is the antagonist of the story. Kenjaku is the one who actually brings conflict into the story. If it wasn't for Kenjaku, Sukuna would have died in the Heian era, Yuuji would probably be a pretty ordinary guy, there would be no reincarnated sorcerers and Mahito & Co would have been killed as soon as Gojo got his hands on them, since there is nobody with experience and resources protecting them. Kenjaku pushes the story forward, even after they died, and they are the one who shakes up the status quo and gives the protagonists the opportunity to grow and change both themselves and the world around them. At its base, that is what an antagonist is supposed to do and none of the challenges Sukuna and Mahito provide for Yuuji would be possible if Kenjaku didn't move the story forward in the background and push everyone protagonists and antagonists alike to evolve. Sukuna and Mahito cause chaos and destruction, but they aren't very focused and only very locally based. They only become really dangerous when paired with Kenjaku because Kenjaku can elevate their abilities to a larger scale that affects more than only the people in like a 5km radius.

As for Kenjaku's comparison to Johan, I think they are actually equal for me with maybe Johan slightly ahead because he's just better written. They are actually quite similar. Both are larger scale antagonist that operate internationally and mostly move behind-the-scenes, so getting hold of them is incredibly difficult. Both aren't all that strong on their own, they instead rely on allies and people indebted to them to protect them. Both are relatively unassuming at first glance and able to seamlessly integrate into society, making it hard to find them or pin down their current identity. And both have mommy issues.

Johan & Sukuna

This easily goes to Johan. In Sukuna's defence, we are also still missing a huge part of his story and character background that will probably soon be revealed to us, but at the moment we are missing most of what would give him more depth. It's there in hints, but if we only go with what we solidly know about him so far, he's not much more complex than your average big bad who destroys cities for fun and games with no real rhyme or reason to it and the only thing that really makes him dangerous is his immense strength. He is a very physical threat to overcome.

Johan on the other hand has the advantage of Monster already being completed. His story has been told, we got a deeper look at his motivations and what shaped him into becoming who he is, while not getting any clear-cut answers as to what really first caused him to spiral. Nature vs nurture and all that. I mean, there's still debate over who that titular "monster" is (personally I think it's not Johan), which I think hits just the right balance between remaining mystery that will make you want to reread the story and answer for why he acts the way he does.

Yuuji and Sukuna challenge each other's world views similar to Johan and Tenma, but I don't think it has quite the same weight. Again, I have to say, this is hard to judge because the real conflict between Sukuna & Yuuji hasn't started yet or is just in its early stages of falling into place. Although the key principle is very similar in both cases: how much is a human life worth?

Johan and Tenma are intentionally very binary. Tenma fundamentally believes in the worth of human life and that includes believing that someone like Johan deserves to live, despite the pain he caused. Johan believes no human has worth, including himself, and therefore killing others or yourself is of no consequence. Yuuji and Sukuna fundamentally believe in a similar concept, but with some exceptions. Yuuji believes everyone has a right to live...except himself because he is causing too much hurt for the people he cares about. Similarly, he also very quickly gave up on reasoning or even talking to Sukuna and accepted that Sukuna is such an evil person that he also has to die. Like, killing Sukuna doesn't rob him of any sleep or makes him question his morals, it's pretty clear that Sukuna deserves to die. Sukuna thinks humans are worthless, but he takes himself out of that equation. Like Johan he thinks of himself as a monster and non-human (to a degree), but unlike him, he places himself above others and thinks he and the ones who think like him or live by his standards are more worthy of living than others.

Tenma and Yuuji both live with the guilt of having helped someone survive who will continue to kill others and have to find an answer on how to deal with that dilemma. I would say as far as their respective antagonists are concerned, Yuuji's solution is much easier. Sukuna is cartoonishly evil, no redeeming qualities and unless you are a very principled person, nobody would cry over his death. Whereas Tenma was presented with a child that had been shot in the head and as a doctor he made the very logical decision to do his best to his best to help that child, not knowing he had just killed his adoptive parents. Even after he found out and the years he spend chasing Johan to maybe possibly kill him, he had a much harder choice on his hands because Johan is much more of a real human being. He got traumatized as a child and lives out that trauma on the people around him with violent consequences, but he also is a danger to himself due to his suicidality. It is pretty clear that he is severely mentally ill and at the end, it is always a possibility to put him in prison and give him therapy (it will be difficult to keep him in prison due to his connections, but with the right incentives not impossible). Putting Sukuna in prison and giving him therapy isn't possibly unless Yuuji eats him again.

So I think because the question of how to handle Johan is so much more complex for the protagonists, he ranks above Sukuna here as well. I think a detractor for Sukuna for me is also that Yuuji is much more of an existential challenge to Sukuna than Sukuna for Yuuji. Sukuna doesn't make Yuuji question his morals or his resolution, he is simply an obstacle he has to overcome to save the people he cares about. At this point Sukuna is much more affected by Yuuji than Yuuji by him. A lot of that has to do with Sukuna only really stepping up as an active antagonist after Mahito was gone and Mahito was the one who really challenged Yuuji. Sukuna killed all those people in Shibuya, but it was primarily Mahito who taught Yuuji what real cruelty looks like, he taught him to kill with his own hands, to question his convictions, his morals and how far he is willing to go, how much power he even has to go on. Sukuna only really comes into the picture after Yuuji has already grown from what Mahito put him through. This is less of a clear cut issue, but it's part of why I rank Mahito above Sukuna as far as jjk villains are concerned. It is also why I enjoy Mahito as a villain much more. And this lack of ideological challenge is also another reason for why I think Johan is a better antagonist than Sukuna and why I think the ranking will stay this way even when we get more insight into Sukuna's motivations and background. Sukuna is also just not very scary or threatening, especially not how he has been presented during the Shinjuku showdown. Despite Kenjaku being weaker, I was much more worried about everyone's lives and the future of the entire country than now that it's only Sukuna. He's just like a rampaging bull. There is no mystery or higher-level threat to him, he's just a bit difficult to handle. That makes it not even close between him and Johan.

Monster -> JJK

I think this is very difficult to answer because Monster and its characters are very deeply rooted in our real world and it not being supernatural is what actually makes it so interesting. But if we assumed they became sorcerers and all got transported to Japan (otherwise nothing would really change), I think Nina would survive. She is the only one of the cast who can competently fight while not being wildly suicidal. Roberto and Grimmer are strong with Grimmer's split personality "Steiner" supposedly further amplifying his cursed energy, but they are also fundamentally empty. They would be trained by Kinderheim 511 or Jujutsu Tech into super soldiers and then die young because they have no sense of self or strong will for survival which would get them killed very quickly in the world of jjk. Unlike with their actual stories, they would not be able to develop any coping mechanisms but instead be constantly exposed to their trauma, which will either get them killed Haibara-style or they kill themselves. So that only leaves Nina as the last survivor. Tenma can't fight and also can't kill people, so he's a goner. Johan...maybe he'd take up a similar place to Tengen? In that he organizes a group of influential sorcerers from the back, but he'd ultimately use it to try and kill himself. Maybe in a similar plot as Kenjaku's merger curse. He could create something that would wipe out Japan once and for all and realize his scenery of a doomsday. Nina can then cut his head off (he'd probably survive a bullet to the head again).

[superconductivebean]

#1038: [seen]

Just so it will be out from the replies. Just so I can have it said loud and clear, after months. So you are able to understand what's it with me, a bit.

tldr; beanie and his trust issues because he was screwed over bad

Imagine how discouraging it feels after you saw a craze for your favourite character, decidedly stepped out of drafts to have people see your things because you know they'll be happy to have more things, expecting that craze turn conversations and its own little fandom, much like what I already had in another fave's tag, but in return you'd have a ghost town; a ravaged beach; an empty plot of land you hoped would become a little thriving garden one day.

To some extent, however, it did. I'm glad to be a part of it -- I hope I am. I'm glad to have made friends and talked to so many awesome people over the past few weeks. This post aren't about you, lovelies.

I value your support and attention tremendously.

But why am I bitter, you may ask. What happened.

Last time I went for a craze, a wlw craze, the fave craze, I had always been downplayed in favour of someone else. Gone unnoticed. Never spoken about in relation to wlw. I was even told I had to treat fandom like a marketing game at all times in order to be seen. Seen. [seen] at a place that claimed to be friendly, supportive, accepting, that was every thing under the Sun, but that had always ignored what I had, but what it would also had asked of me all the time: wlw / wlw smut.

Only never to read it. Never to even open it, at least. Never to remember their asks were always answered and could be answered right away. But alas, unseen, unnoticed; largest wlw fic collection in Russian in this fandom went to bin because I can't look at it any longer anymore.

Granted, it wasn't anything perfect, spectacular, or even finished. But it was very dear to me nonetheless, writing these silly romances and shaping characters I post headcanons about. It all has started there.

What I faced was a mistake which I profoundly regret making, placing my trust in that finicky interest of others, very eager to had me but then… never telling me something vital and crucial. Never realising the more silence I'd gotten would eventually lead to my leave after all my work -- my lore stuff -- would've been called a delusion.

Word thrown at me in annoyance at my futile attempts to have some rhyme and reason to whatever conversation we'd had at the moment. I do not take offences lightly. Especially after said delusions were praised and highly rated. I left, didn't want to know what my fics were nor who I were to hid them and never to share them with anyone.

I'm afraid of making this mistake again; writing and publishing more works that I shall, must approve of myself first, accept them as my soullings, and then… what, see them being [seen] again? first praised, then, when I'm appearing slightly less conforming, dip them into shit, because this is what they really are -- to somebody I used to trust? Because this is where I am at, too -- at the septic pit, yes?

I'm not projecting, mind. But keeping this ungodly experience in mind and remembering how it has affected me, shaped me into an anxious and angry creature, I just…

Don't ask if you're not going to ever indulge in anything written not by the dear friend's hand, please. Let the sleeping dogs lie. Let them hum to each other, growl, snore, hiss and share dreams in peace.

[missamyshay]

2, 4, 10, 20

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I have a fic I've been chipping away at for a while now that I’m really excited about. It deals with an older PeterMJ, and what life might look like in the event that Peter would no longer have his powers. It’s so much more than that but it’s hard to explain in its totality without ruining the story. But I’m excited for it for so many reasons, one being that it deals so much with what it means for Peter to be Spider-Man, what the consequences are of that. Another thing being that it’ll be my first time writing other characters in the universe such as Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner and others. I’m waiting to build up a substantial backlog (maybe even finish writing it) before I start posting because unlike my current WIPs that are very theme driven, this fic would be very plot driven, which means it’d benefit from more regular posting.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

I couldn’t think of a specific SM one so here’s one from a fic I wrote for The Bear called Drive.:

But what he’s come to realise is that while Richie had shaped himself into the borders of Michael’s presence, Carmen had shaped himself around the hole of Michael’s absence. And while it’s not the same, Richie knows now that both of those options are equally horrible ways to live.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

I'm not sure how much of a process I have, actually. Maybe that's the problem. Perhaps it's easier to counteract things like writers' block when you have a solid process to fall back on. But it’s usually just something sparks inspiration, and then either I open up a doc and just start writing something, which will more often than not will end up being a longshot. Or, if it’s a longer story that I want to tell, then I draw up a loose bullet pointed plan before separating it into chapters and then start writing. As for the writing itself, almost all whims, no rhyme or reason lol. Maybe one little trick I have is that I lean on poetry sometimes. If there are sentences or ideas that feel too clunky when written down, I ask myself how I’d express it if I were writing a poem, and then adapt from that starting point.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

This is hard to answer today! I’m sure there are lots, and it’s probably different for every work. There are certain things I lean on in my writing often—like, I like it when characters have deep conversations in bathrooms. There’s a symbolism there but I’m not sure quite what it is yet. I also love shadow scenes, or repetition. When there’s an earlier scene that’s re-experienced later in the narrative after a character or characters have been through things and changed.

Meta fic asks

[doublegoblin]

Hi, happy STS~!

As I get closer to finishing my current WIP's first draft, I'm having trouble dealing with the large amount of exposition I need to do before the end. Have you ever run into this problem? How did you deal with it? What's the best way to handle exposition, in your opinion?

(from @tisiphonewolfe)

Well howdy howdy, sorry for the delay in getting back this one had me thinking for a bit.

Like probably everyone else writing a thing; I have of course ran into the issue of exposition. Especially with a world that runs on some differences to our own fundamental rules, new rules entirely, and like this whole structure there have had to be times when I just set down and go "okay this is going to need some kind of explanation."

This kind of issue is compounded by having the POV character being someone who has existed in this reality for a reeeeally long time. Like they have been around for so long, doing the same thing, talking to the same people, that they fall into that fun category of co-worker who knows exactly what needs to be done but they are unable to train anyone well because it's just became so second nature that they go "Look I know how this is done, but I don't think I can walk you through the process" or "Yeah there is a rule about that somewhere but I can't explain why we have it, just, ya know, follow it I guess." Also this said character is disenfranchised with the whole shabang and so they just kind of go through the motions. Like it's fun as a writer because I have to think, is this something they would dwell on or think about? And most of the time, the answer is a no, so the information is there but it isn't brought up in the text because it's a first person narration.

Luckily I sort of have a baked in solution to go. I have what could be considered an audience stand-in with Peter. Fresh faced, head empty, and willing to ask so many questions.

Which leads me to my advice for how to deal with exposition (even without an audience stand-in). Now this isn't a solution I came up but I can't remember where I saw the advice specifically! However, that advice is to bake in the exposition so it feel natural. Like readers are smart and will notice when the info is just kind of dumped on their laps without rhyme or reason other than "this is info you have to know!" First stop and ask yourself, is it really though? Could a reader come to this same understanding given the context clues you put through the story? What sort of ramifications would come from this info being left out? Is it even realistic for your characters to know or feel the need to share? Why does the reader need to know this?

Often we as writers want to make sure we put as much of our blorbos in the text as we can, from the biggest of wars to the tiniest of defect on a mass produced coin. Not everything needs to be fully explained though, hell, in our own lives things are rarely fully explained to us. So sometimes it is better to omit some things in lieu of the holes in logic that may appear scary and "bad" but can make a narrative feel even more alive. There have been entire chapters I have torn to shreds because the info dumping was real and I could feel it.

That brings me to this though, if this is information that is imperative to be known by the reader. Make it feel natural. Like this isn't just have a character who is lacking knowledge ask or something. It could come from a casual conversation where the two parties find a mismatch in historical events, both sides thinking their version is the true one. Or like someone brings up a random little fun fact that is related to the information tangentially. Or heck, if you need to do a massive lore dump, more developed places sometimes have museums or libraries or just somewhere where those interested could learn some history.

Now this is all easier said than done, and the solution can/will change depending on the story you are telling. And like, end of the day to, sometimes you just need to exposition all over the page and as long as it's done very sparingly a reader is likely to forgive it. But the best thing, try to weave it into the story as natural as you can, it not only adds depth to the story but also to the characters themselves.