#but also... weed makes me feel good LMFAO

[threnodians]

just me rambling about my job (affectionate):

the job can be rather stressful but the pros FAR, FAR outweigh the cons; legitimately every single person that i work with/for (and yes, i am including the ceo whom i have actually met) is either on the spectrum (both lgbtqia+ and/or autism) and/or some form of mentally ill and/or some form of chronically ill and/or some form of “weeb” or “gamer” and i just... like no it isn’t perfect and it’s really stressful right now because i’m new and there’s shittons of policies and procedures to memorize and the overall job duties to learn but the incentives and overall EVERYTHING make me feel like bawling my eyes out y’all screw veterinary medicine this is my career (at this specific company which shall not be named) for the rest of my life

[plutolovesyou]

Okay.. but like, loser ellie but she’s also a stoner and explains the entire lore of spider man to you while you’re trying to have seggs and she’s like stoned out of her mind and yapping about literally spider man 😭

before you read!!

☆: THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY IM CRYING LMFAO had me dying for like 10 mins straight. this is longer than intended bc im a yapper as we know, and i kinda don't know much of the spiderman lore (and you can def tell oops)…BUT I LOVE THE WAY YOUR MIND WORKS NONNIE.

◇: sfw but suggestive themes. warning: FAR from my best work, just wanted to keep momentum going ig. basically just fluff, lots of buildup as usual SORRY i have to establish a plot before we get to the good stuff…they're of age obviously, their relationship is left vague/up for interpretation so fill in the blanks w/ your own thoughts! “babe” pet name usage, consumption of weed, duh. ok i suppose that's all. OH AND SBWM REFERENCE HAHAHA (shameless self plug :3) + 1.0k wc.

One nice, regular night, chilling at Ellie’s humble abode, getting high, the usual Friday evening activities. You both were laying down in her bed, wrapped up in her dinosaur bedsheets of course, you were resting your head on her chest, occasionally coughing and swatting away the residual smoke that lingered in the air.

The weed had made your head fuzzy and your mouth drier than the Sahara desert, but despite all the not-so-great things, you loved to get high with Ellie.

Sometimes you'd fuck, sometimes you'd talk about life and reminisce about the good, the bad, and the ugly, and sometimes you'd just lay there to enjoy each other's company.

She was so warm and comfortable, you simply wished to merge bodies and become one with her, to make a home inside her ribcage even. You'd be perfectly fine just napping there on her cushiony chest, listening to her steady heartbeat and slow intakes of breath, if it wasn't for the familiar ache of need between your legs.

Shifting to look up at her, she was so incredibly zooted out of her mind, you found it hilarious. Chunky glasses covered in fingerprint smudges and sitting crooked atop her nose, eyes blood-red and so heavy lidded, you'd have thought she was asleep had you not taken a closer look.

You lifted yourself up and pressed your lips to the side of her pink cheek, repeatedly kissing her soft, smooth skin. She let out a husky giggle, her voice all hoarse and crackly from the substance. “Hiiii.”

She dragged out the vowel, grinning widely at you. Her smile was infectious, and you laughed at her state. Burying your face again in the crook of her neck, you mumbled, “Hi Ellie…you're so cute.”

Tangled up together, you kissed her some more on her neck, wanting to be as close as possible to her. She sighed, and angled her head to give you better access to more surface area. “That feels nice.” She'd slur, and you were pretty turned on at this point, to say the least.

It was worth asking. “Ellie…do you wanna fuckkk?” You whisper against her ear, and watch in delight as the bright-red blush spreads across her entire face like a wildfire, even reaching her collar, and spreading underneathyour shirt. “Um, yeah, duh. C’mere.”

You pressed a sloppy kiss to her lips, tangling your hands in her auburn locks and parting your puffy lips to invite her tongue in, not noticing the spit dribble down your chin where your faces met. Her breathing quickened immediately, and she whined into your mouth, the kisses getting even messier to the point where your teeth were clinking together, so you backed away for a breather.

The two of you shifted positions so she was now on top of you, resting her hand on your hip, thumb rubbing small circles. She moved in to initiate more lip-locking, but pulled away abruptly.

“Babe I forgot to tell you, so y’know Peter Parker, right?” And there she goes.

“Yeah, yeah I know him, can you just-” You try to rush past the beginnings of her rambling, because you knew once she got started, there was no end in sight. At least for a while.

You tried pulling her in to meet your lips again by the back of her head, but were met with lots of resistance. She seemed to look more alert now, a miracle. The power of superheroes!

She shuffled off of you and sat upright, assuming a cross-legged position, clearly not noticing your exasperated huffs and purposely obnoxious eye rolling, and the fact that there was a whole-ass human, half undressed, horny girl on her bed right there in front of her, who was slowly losing patience.

Ellie just went to her own world. Her eyes sparkled with passionate wonder as she thought about the series so dear to her heart. “Okay I rewatched all the movies a few days ago and I noticed something new…”

You were ready to give up what you originally had in mind, she was too far gone. She talked and talked endlessly, and you had to feign interest, nodding along and murmuring, “Mhm, yeah Els. Wow that's cool. Huh, never knew.” As enthusiastically as you could, so she didn't feel like she wasn't being listened to.

It was worth noting too though, when she started info-dumping about her interests she really was adorable, an excitement in her grassy eyes you never see otherwise, gesturing wildly with her hands and mapping out ideas to make it easy for someone who's never seen any of it to digest all this new information.

“...And then, in the movies Into the Spiderverse and Across the Spiderverse, there's this character called Gwen Stacy.”

She stops to cough and clear her throat, now seemingly appearing to completely forget that you were even there.

“And- oh yeah! She's also in the comics and ugh she's awesome, I really love her suit. It's got a hood on it…if I were to have a spider suit, it would be her style. Hm, it would also be mostly like, green…with red accents, ah I'm gonna show you all the sketches I made of it. But anyway…”

To be completely honest, you've been out of the mood for enough time now, and you've come to the realization that it actually didn't bother you.

This was Ellie, and you loved her for her! There was always next time you two met for a smoke session, you just loved spending time with someone so treasured such as her, and you'd be lying to say the Spiderman world wasn't a little interesting.

"That's so cool, wait. Okay can you explain the timeline of it all, oh and also how do all these different movies interact, is it the same universe, or something like the multiverse I think you mentioned?”

[catsgut]

how scumbag jjk characters fuck

ft. gojo, yuuji, geto, toji, and megumi. all 18+

warnings : honestly just nasty men

-gojo

ok so scumbag gojo seems like any other fuckboy, but believe me when i say he’s completely different. he knows he’s hot so he doesn’t bother trying to be nice to girls. they will sleep with him either way, so why would he fake it?

always video tapes his hookups. doesn’t matter where or with who. once he filmed himself fucking a girl in an alleyway, flipping the camera around from the pov angle of your ass bent over to his face, flashing the camera a peace sign and a silly face

cums inside without asking and moans i love you everytime without fail

missionary is his favorite, but he also isn’t picky. any position where he can show off his pretty face works for him

moans like a little bitch and says things that aren’t even really that hot, but it’s gojo…. “take this long fat cock!!” “gunna creampie your cooch!”

always makes sure to eat your pussy like he is starved! he moans into it so loudly like he’s the one getting head. honestly the best part about hooking up with him.. i can see him doing that thing where he shakes his head side to side really fast with his tongue out lmfao

tells you to leave .5 seconds after he cums. does not want to cuddle after but will tell you to text him!

doesn’t text back

anyway, you aren’t leaving unsatisfied, but you’re definitely getting that post nut clarity on your way home. was it worth the second hand embarrassment?

-yuuji

lives with his mom and seems like a sweet boy, but gojo and geto have corrupted him. kinda a ladies man… he’s so sweet like a little puppy dog. hard to say to to him.

does not care what position, but he is an ass man. asks if you wanna try anal like every time you guys see each other. when you tell him yes, and you will, he doesn’t like wearing a condom. kinda gross, but he’s cute so you let it slide

he fucks hard and fast with 0 rythme. you ask him to slow down, but ten seconds later he is back to his original pace.

another moaner like gojo. he will be whining in your ear the whole time

he has such a big mommy kink it’s crazy. will suck your tits and ask you to call him a good boy, but if he’s around his friends he’s telling them how nasty you were for him.

cums inside, but when he does pull out, it shoots the back of your head into your hair. will proceed to cuddle you after. it’s very confusing because he tells you he likes you, but once you leave don’t expect a text back unless it’s him asking for nudes.

honestly the nicest out of all of them, but in no way does he care about your feelings. his only concerns are when he’s going to get laid next.

-geto

the way geto will have you FOOLED. like he can be just as rude as gojo, but he’s nice about it?? you at first believe him to be an alright guy, until you show up to the trailer him and gojo share. it’s dirty and smells like blunt ash. he doesn’t seem to have a problem with his bare mattress being on the ground in the living room area, patting the spot next to him

plays music loudly and honestly his playlist is pretty good so you don’t mind.

loves fucking you in doggy and will stick a thumb in your ass. thinks it’s funny to “accidentally” try to stick his dick in the wrong hole

pulls out and cums wherever, but never inside. he claims it is because he’s “too much of a gentleman” yet he refuses to wear a condom.

he fucks so good though you can’t even complain. the dick is immaculate

doesn’t eat pussy, says it’s gross but will ask for a blowjob 10 minutes into hanging out with him. “i let you smoke my weed i think i deserve something in return.” he will ask you to politely please leave if you say no.

let’s you shower afterwards, but honestly after seeing the state his bathroom is in you don’t know if you want to

-toji

idk where to begin. the scummiest of scummy men. hits you up on his friends phone because he doesn’t own one himself… you know he’s a piece of shit, but this dick is so good?? it’s unreal..

he can’t hold a job down, but he knows how to beat that pussy up. he’s so sloppy and gross with it.

degrades tf out of you! pulling your hair, spitting on you, ect.. anything downright dirty he’s into it. lowkey likes feet and probably sucks toes while he’s balls deep in you

doesn’t use lube, but soooooo much spit wooo man salivates so much

EATS ASSSSSSS i just know he does. will spit on it and try shoving his tongue as deep as it’ll go

his favorite position is pushing your knees to your chest. he’s able to fuck into you deeper that way. takes rearranging your guts to a whole other level.

PULL OUT GAME STRONG AF. man does notttt!! want another kid. he doesn’t even take care of the one he has now. still no condom though

you will most likely get a uti no matter how many times you piss afterwards, sorry. thats just the chance you have to take, but its honestly so worth it.

he is the one dipping out after sex because it’s never his house he fucks you at. (he doesn’t have a place of his own)

-megumi

you know he isn’t very nice, but he also isn’t down right mean? like geto, will smoke you out in his car and expect head afterwards. doesn’t tell you to leave if you say no, but will jerk off anyways.

boob man all the way. he doesn’t care about size, but likes to make you feel insecure about them. he’ll tease you about having a chest too small/big

likes when you squat ride him. he’s lazy and doesn’t feel like putting in the work. he won’t make eye contact what so ever, eyes only focused on your tits and pussy.

if you get tired in your position on top he will sigh and just lay there till you’re ready to start bouncing again.

doesn’t dirty talk or moan really. it’s mostly grunts and heavy breathing, but when you’re sucking his dick you can sometimes squeeze a whimper or two out.

like his daddy, his pull out game is above and beyond. doesn’t even want to take a chance with getting you pregnant and honestly doesn’t mind wearing a condom. if he isn’t wearing one then he likes to cum on your face and in your eyes.

he’s kind of sadistic, but just way too lazy to do anything about it.

let’s you shower after sex, but he only has a bar of soap that has pubes stuck to it in his shower. you wonder why his skin is so clear…

doesn’t care that much if you hang out after sex, but he won’t talk to you. just sits there on his phone. he’s actually not horrible about texting back, but don’t get attached because he is absolutely talking to several other girls.

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Judd smut in Y/n's car? 😈

JUDD SMUT IN Y/N’S CAR !!!

Tags: fem! Reader, porn without plot, well I mean they talk like a little before they fuck, driving under the influence?, okay literally don’t do that pls idk why they did it in this fic, being low key inappropriate in front of kids, more weed smoking 🫶, judd has a HUGE HORSE COCK, he also degrades Y/n quite a bit, also like semi public sex??, it’s literally in a car, and once again very unprotected sex, PLEASE WRAP IT!!

Summary: they fuck in Y/n’s car after Judd got his taken away lmfao

Author’s note: SORRY this took me so long to write for some reason,, I hate school so much oml 😡 I was originally going to finish and post this yesterday but like then I got a bunch of unsolicited dick pics and I got scared and didn’t feel like writing smut anymore 🧍🏻🏃🏻‍♀️ anyways,, I’m back today and I’m fine, just traumatized. I love being a woman fr 💩

Judd smut in Y/n’s car

Word count; 3,9K

(smut under the cut)

Judd took a long drag of his cigarette, exhaling most of it through his nose but having the decency to turn his head slightly and exhaling the rest through the barely opened window. 

He flicked the burned tip out the window as well; cinder falling down and gathering in the cracks of where the window sat in the door. 

“You drive like a fucking grandma— drive faster,” He instructed.

You didn’t turn your head from the road. “I’m actually driving exactly what the speed limit allows. Fuck off. “ You grumbled.

The two of you were on the way back from one of Judd’s deals, which you were almost late to because Judd decided to leave 10 minutes behind schedule, forgetting you had to drive and refused to go too far over the speed limit. The deal itself had been pretty uninteresting; you sat in the car and watched as Judd handed the guy a plastic back and he handed your boyfriend the money. 

He got his car hijacked (parentsjacked) two weeks ago, because he got caught lighting an old building on fire. You were there too, actually, too drunk and stoned to care in the moment; but because Judd could be a pretty good boyfriend at times he covered up for you. 

“Yeah. Whatever. I need at least one of us to have a car.” He said, when you asked him about it. 

Immediately after, you had been prompted to Judd’s personal Uber. Not to mention he had to hide most of his,, not legal substances in the trunk of your car, hence why you were now even more adamant on following traffic rules as to not get pulled over by the cops. 

(Or found out by your mom, who already wasn’t a very big fan of your boyfriend) 

His raccoons had also made themselves at home in your backseat, at the moment the two of you were alone in the car but often there would be a couple of them napping in the back. 

Judd grumbled something in response that you didn’t quite hear, but you retorted; “Shut the fuck up. Why can’t you just act like a passenger princess, or something,” 

He opened and closed his mouth, cigarette hanging on his lips. “What the fuck did you just call me?” 

You smiled a little. “That’s what you are, babe. You’re my passenger princess,” 

Blinking slowly, he put the cigarette out in the ashtray he had placed between the front seats and stared at you blankly. “What the hell are you talking about? You think I look like a princess?” He was baffled. 

You suppressed a chuckle, and turned your head quickly to gauge his reaction. “I forgot you’re too edgy to use tiktok,” You murmured. When you opened it on your phone, he would sometimes stand behind you and glare at the screen over your shoulder, but that was all the exposure he’d had to the app. 

Judd frowned. “Why don’t you pull over and I’ll show you who the real fucking princess is.” It was half a threat, but none that you took too seriously. 

“Oh, yeah? You’d have to pay extra for that, Uber drivers don’t normally fuck their costumers.” You answered coyly, but he didn’t find your quip nearly as funny as you did. You turned back to the road, making sure you weren’t about to run into any middle schoolers as you neared Bridgeton Middle School. Judd didn’t say anything– but you felt his large hand slither up your leg, enclosing around your thigh and squeezing the fat there softly. 

He looked out the window to his side, refusing to grant you attention while he continued to massage your thigh; and glaring as you pulled into the parking lot. Judd had convinced you to skip school that day, so you could drive him to his stupid deal and you could smoke and get McDonald’s after. The first part of his plan went without a hitch, until you got incredibly high-horny and you ended up fucking in the bathroom at McDonald’s as well. Unfortunately, you had to leave sooner than intended; in a daze and desperate to sober up before you went and picked Jessi up from school. Coincidentally Nick as well, since, you know, Judd's parents took his car. 

You parked and turned to Judd, crawling half over to his seat and forcing him to look at you. His glare lessened as he stared at your grinning face so close to his; leaning in. You kissed him softly once, then twice, then three times, giggling and pulling away whenever he chased you. He growled and the hand on your thigh went to your waist, he pulled you in and was just about to kiss you properly, forcefully and roughly when a series of knocks came to your window. 

It was Jessi and Nick. You averted your head and let Judd kiss your cheek instead, gently pushing him back as you sat back down in your seat. You motioned for the two to come in.

Jessi opened the door, and allowed Nick to crawl inside first. “It smells like weed and junkfood in here.” She commented, a slight question in her statement as she crawled in, too, and closed the door behind her. 

You turned your body halfway in your seat, coming to face her. “Sure.” You ignored her comment. “Had a good day at school?” 

Both her and Nick nodded reluctantly. “Yeah. Can you help me with some maths-stuff later?” She asked and you wrinkled your nose; Maths was not something you were particularly good at, but you nodded and agreed to help her anyways.

Judd’s hand returned to your thigh and you glanced at him– he was staring blankly at the kids, but he met your eyes with raised eyebrows, indicating he wanted something from you. You hummed. “Hey, Jessi, how about hanging out at Nick’s house for a while?” You looked to Nick, who flushed slightly and nodded in agreement. 

Jessi’s mouth tightened as she looked at Nick, and then you. She new that when you asked her that, you really meant; “Hey, Jessi, it would be more convenient for me to drive straight to Judd’s house so we can fuck.”

“C’mon Jessi, we can watch a movie or something,” Nick added hopefully. You smiled, a bit tightly as you looked at Jessi and she reluctantly uncrossed her arms and agreed. “Okay, fine. But can we do that stupid biology assignment together then, instead?” 

Nick agreed happily, and the two quickly got a rather animated conversation started. You drove out of the parking lot, Judd’s hand increasing in height on your thigh till he was toying with the hem of your skirt. You flushed, gently pushing his hand down a couple times so Jessi and Nick wouldn’t see, but it ultimately was a losing battle. 

The two’s conversation turned to background noise as you drove towards your destination, as fast as you could; now way faster than the speed limit allowed. Judd’s incessant caress of your thigh made your heart beat so much faster and your finger’s grip the steering wheel so much tighter— you could feel him staring hungrily at you the whole time too, seizing you up with that small twitch of his lips that meant he was going to fuck you till your legs were jelly. 

‘Step on that goddamn speeder, sugar! Look how he’s eyeing you.. like a big, hungry wolf,’ Connie’s claws locked around the back of your seat, and she moaned when his nails slightly scratched at your fishnets; lifting them and making them slap against your thigh. 

You gasped, and sent him a glare that bordered on a sultry pout. “I can’t,” you muttered to Connie. “I’ll actually run someone over if I go any faster,” 

Your monstress shook the seat harder. ‘They won’t mind giving up their life for some sweet, sweet lovemaking baby~’  She purred and you glanced at her briefly, with a scandalised expression. 

“I really don’t think you should be saying stuff like that,” You retorted, focused on evening out your breathing from the slow teasing of Judd’s warm hand. Then he leaned in, squeezing your thigh in a death grip and placed a long, slow kiss under your jaw 

“You changed your mind about fucking your Uber costumer yet?” He drawled, deep voice dragging a whispering growl all the way up your spine.

You shivered. “I think I have,” you breathed back and felt him smile triumphantly against your neck. 

He cackled darkly. “Good. You better drop the fucking attitude,” Then, he snapped your fishnets again, watching as thin, red lines appeared on your thigh.

Connie moaned loudly again, fanning her hands in front of her face before dramatically laying down on the floor of the car, between the front and back seats. 

“Ew. Can you two not?” That time it was Nick speaking, arms crossed over his chest.

Jessi nodded in agreement; her gaze was locked on where Judd was touching your thigh, burning into you. Your boyfriend in question slowly retreated his hand, half turning in his seat to glare dissatisfied at your two passengers. 

Nick shifted uncomfortably and whatever insult he had died on his tongue. “What? Are you fucking jealous or something?” He sneered.

The younger shrugged and looked away. “No.” 

Judd grunted, gravely and deeply. “It’s not my fault you can’t get your little prick wet,” He wiggled his pinky finger for emphasis. 

You failed to hold back a giggle and gently slapped his arm. “Don’t tell thirteen-year-olds to have sex, you ass,” You scolded, halfheartedly through and smiled as you came to a stop in front of the birch house. 

“Okay, get out you two!” You called over your shoulder. “We’ll be right in— I’m just gonna park.” You bluffed, and didn’t miss the way Jessi rolled her eyes at you as she slammed the car door behind her.

Connie rose from the floor to sit in the middle seat in the back. ‘Yeah, park Judd’s dick right in your pussy!’ She drawled, making obscene gestures with her hands. 

Judd was quick to point you to a nearby parking spot, concealed a bit by a willow tree with low-hanging branches. As soon as you were parked, you unbuckled your seatbelt and Judd was reaching for you.

He pulled you to him by your waist— settling you down over his lap, straddling him. You whimpered as you felt him against you, already straining in his pants. He grabbed greedy handfuls of your ass with one hand, having the other settle on the back of your neck and pulling your hair. He held your head in an iron grip, making sure you wouldn’t avoid his kiss this time around.

Then, he kissed you. Roughly, deeply, tongue invading your mouth almost instantly. You mewled as he bit your lower lip, arms wrapped around his neck and fingers gently pulling on the short hairs at the back of his head. 

You were already moving your hips, without thinking about it and he wasted no time in aiding you; thrusting upwards while holding your hips down and helping you rock back and forth. 

You were already quite sensitive from your earlier rough fuck in the McDonald’s bathroom, your clit swelled and started twitching almost instantly. The rough drag of denim on your panties was almost too much, but the sloshing of warmth in your lower belly kept you going— rutting yourself harder against him. 

He moved from your lips, you let out a soft, whiny sigh. “You wanted it that bad, huh? You’re already so fuck-drunk,” He commented, that wicked smile pulling at his lips. He squeezed your asscheek hard. “Up.” He instructed, and shakily, you lifted yourself up to stand on your knees instead of sitting on him. 

You held his shoulders for support, definitely not expecting him to bring both his hands under your skirt and roughly ripping your fishnets apart right under your pussy. He let them rip all the way down your thighs and you looked at him wide-eyed. 

“I’ll get you new ones, baby.” He grinned, a bit coyly as he pushed your panties aside. His cold fingers gently brushed your folds and you couldn’t find it in yourself to care about your ruined tights. Your breathing hitched and you desperately bucked your hips, trying to get him to touch you further. 

His other hand returned to your hip, to hold it in place and keep you from rutting yourself against his fingers. He gave a warning growl, brows drawing together as he concentrated on the task at hand. He teased your folds apart with his pointer, feeling how warm and wet you already were. You were pulsing, almost, starting to clench before his fingers even entered. 

“Judd—“ You moaned. “Do— do something.” You pleaded with him. 

Connie was going crazy behind you as well, both her and Maury were sitting in the backseat contributing to an animated conversation. Your monstress shook Maury by the shoulders, yelling at him to get Judd to do anything. 

‘C’mon! Fist her already!’ Maury roared, kicking the seat you and Judd were sitting on. 

Your boyfriend inhaled sharply, pressing his thumb to your swollen bud— forcing a breathy, drawn out whine out of you. He retaliated by pressing down harder, slowly moving his thumb in a circle that had you desperately bucking into his hand. 

He could feel your warmth leaking, wetness gathering and threatening to fall before he finally, finally gave in and shoved a finger into you. He looked at you, drinking in your expression as he burrowed one, long finger into your cunt.

Connie cheered and you cried out Judd’s name. He made a ‘come hither’ motion, slightly scratching deep within your walls right where you needed him. He chuckled, darkly as you clenched around his finger. 

“Want one more?” He asked— pressing down on your clit deliberately right as you were about to answer. 

You nodded your head, burying your face in his shoulder. “Mhm! Judd— please!” You wiggled your hips in emphasis. 

“Good girl.” He praised you, adding a second finger as promised. He pumped them for a little while, relishing in the moans you tried to conceal in his neck and grunting at the occasional bites you left. 

Then, he suddenly stopped moving, but not withdrawing his fingers. You whined pathetically in protest. “Relax, slut.” He said. “Fuck yourself on my fingers,” 

You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately you were bouncing up and down on his hand; trying to bring them as far into your pussy as possible. You clawed at Judd’s shirt, pulling the neckline down so you could properly bite him and conceal most of your whiny moans. 

He groaned, ripping his head back and allowing you more access to ravage his neck. You could feel yourself dripping, warm liquid gathering in Judd’s palm and running down his forearm. He pressed your clit harder, feeling your cunt clench tightly around his fingers— his cock ached at the thought of feeling your little pussy around him again. 

The car filled with loud squelching sounds, every time you rose and fell back on his fingers. Your pace fastened in time with Judd’s assault on your clit and you cried out; “Please—please, more! Judd, please!” 

“Yeah?” He drawled and you lifted your head from his neck slightly to nod your head. Then, he curled his fingers and touched a spot that had you seeing stars. You cried out, loudly, as his fingers began thrusting into you violently. Along with your combined forces, you moving your hips frantically and him rolling your clit with his thumb and scissoring his long fingers inside your pussy, you reached the edge quickly.

Judd sneered. “You gonna cum?” He knew the answer already, could feel it in the way your little pussy throbbed and clenched around his fingers. 

Your thighs burned from your rapid movement, shaking as liquid flames consumed your belly. “S’good, s’good— yes,” you breathed, clawing at Judd’s chest. 

He bend his fingers inside you again, breathing into your ear in his nice, deep voice. “Come on my fingers, pretty girl. C’mon.” 

Again, you definitely did not need to be told twice. The coil in your tummy snapped, and you fell apart with a loud cry of your boyfriends name. He continued finger fucking you through your orgasm, until you were even puffier and so sensitive that you were shying away from his hands. 

He grinned gleefully. “Good fucking girl,” he praised you, rubbing your clit in slow circles again, before finally pulling out and allowing you to rest on his knees. 

You sat, feeling your own wetness drip underneath you as you tried to catch your breath— Judd however, wasted no time, unbuckling his pants and pulling his fat cock out. 

You swallowed at the sight, how fucking hard he was and your pussy clenched again— as if it wasn’t already sore and abused. Subconsciously, you rutted your hips a bit forward, grinding on his knee as you watched him stroke himself. He hissed, hand tightly fisting the base of his cock and making its way to his leaking head; you timed your movements with his stroking. 

“C’mere.” He grunted, hands leaving his swollen cock in favour of grabbing your hips and pulling you towards him. 

On instinct, you reached forwards and grabbed his dick, standing on your knees again so you could sink down on him. You only managed to get the head in, before one of his large hands wrapped around your wrists; stopping you. 

“You take what I give you, slut. Pull shit like that again and I’ll have you on your knees instead, got it?” He growled, his other hand restraining your hip in a death grip that was sure to leave marks on your after— long, purple finger prints.

Though the thought of sucking him off wasn’t terrible, your pussy ached so pathetically and you knew the only thing that would satisfy you was Judd’s cock rearranging your guts. So you whined, but nodded and let him guide you back. 

He leaned the seat back a little, Maury yelped and moved away from his place behind you to make space as Judd leaned back. He lifted his hips up, emphasising what he wanted from you. 

You reached out a shaky hand, closing it around his base and moving up and down just like he had before. He groaned, teeth clenching as you smeared his pre-cum from top to bottom, massaging him to the best of your ability. Still, you couldn’t ignore the harsh clenching of your hole as he kept you empty. You slowly started grinding against his thigh again, hoping he’d let you. 

“Judd..” You sniffled, eyes close to filling with tears. “I need your cock inside me, please.” 

You could almost feel Judd’s dick hardened in your grip, and he growled and sat up a little straighter. “Jeez. You whine like a bitch in heat,” He commented, rather smugly.

He beckoned you with his fingers again, and you raised yourself right over his cock but waited to sit down. Judd hummed in approval, guiding his cock with one hand and you with the other, till the head was making its way inside you. 

You sighed, relieved, trying to relax your throbbing pussy so Judd could fit. He groaned. “You’re so.. fucking tight, relax.” He said, as he forced his way further inside you.

When he finally bottomed out, you moaned, loudly. He didn’t move right away, so again you took matters into your own hands and started softly rocking your hips. 

He grabbed your hand, placing it over your belly to feel the bulge his cock had created inside you. “Feel that, baby? You’re so full, aren’t you?” 

You barely registered the question, burying your face in his neck again to hide the way your whole expression screwed up in pleasure. “Mhm.. s’big, s’full.” You slurred.

Then, Judd started moving, bouncing you in his lap like a cocksleeve while you wailed into his shoulder. The stretch was almost unbearable, you felt him bruising your cervix each time he moved— the fit was so snug you could feel every ridge and vain on him. 

He lost himself in the feeling of your warm, soft pussy, having tuned Maury out a long time ago he fucked you mercilessly, entirely focused on reaching his own end. He lifted his hips off the seat to pound into you from below— you could feel him in your belly, your clit scraping over his lower stomach every time he moved. 

It was too much— you were already close to reaching your end, clenching so tightly around Judd that he cursed and could barely move. 

“Feel good, you little slut?” He grunted, blunt nails digging into your sides. 

You nodded desperately. “Good.” He said. “Then cum for me again, you’re so close, right? I can feel your little pussy clenching around my dick so tightly, god, you’re such a fucking whore.” 

You kinda wanted to say something back, but with his rough thrusts and the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head and crossed; you couldn’t really deny him. 

The air in the car felt electric as you came for a second time, bursting and feeling a flush of warm liquid spill from you and cover Judd’s cock. He groaned as you creamed, warm little hole sucking him in and fighting to keep him there. His breathing went erratic, and he bounced you harder, faster, to chase his own orgasm.

“Fuck! Shit, you’re so tight,” He growled through clenched teeth, fucking you so hard the car shook and he was sure to leave bruises. Your legs had gone numb by the time he took your hand again, placing it back on your belly right in time with his release.

His cock throbbed and he came. Hard. Thick ropes of warm cum filled you, stuffing you so full you could feel your belly swell even further under yours and Judd’s combined hands.

He leaned in and bit down on your neck, keeping his own noises as quiet as possible but making sure to leave your neck swollen and blue. You moaned softly as he bit you, not having the energy to shy away from the borderline painful overstimulation. 

When he came down, you collapsed into his chest— breathing heavily. You sat like that for a while, the car’s windows had been fogged up and the only thing you could hear were your combined breathing. 

‘Atta girl!’ Connie slithered around you, patting you on the head. You just mumbled incoherently in response, still too sex drunk to function. 

Maury did the same, ruffling Judd’s hair as he leaned his head back against the seat and praising him— all of which Judd ignored. 

“You’ll have to carry me back.” You muttered, after a long while.

Judd chuckled hoarsely, moving you a bit to pull out of you and tug himself back in his jeans. “Fuck no.” 

You slapped his chest, gently, and pulled yourself up to look at him directly. “I can’t feel my legs.” 

“Then I did a good fucking job.” He snarked, leaning in and kissing your temple. 

Well. It wasn’t like the two of you needed to be somewhere, relaxing in your car for a bit actually did seem like a pretty good option— and so that’s what you did.

God,, why am I horny for a fucking cartoon character wth 💀✋

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn (lemme know if you want to be tagged!)

[lunas-side-anime-blog]

Modern College Student/BF Eren Yeager Headcanons

Armin version: HERE

Changed his major so. many. times.

Tried premed bc of his dad but then realized he had to take a lot of math and was like “lol no”

Was a business major for a bit but he didn’t have enough tact or strategy so dropped that pretty quick

Philosophy was next but he has such black and white way of thinking, he always got into arguments with the professors

Ethics was ruled out after like a week bc of…well, obvious reasons

Joined Armin’s major for like a month but it took so much studying and memory that he quit

Tried psych with Mikasa but yeah every teacher kept telling him to go to therapy??? And he was like “no thank you.”

Eventually i think he will land in something like sport communication or management, bc the competition really gets him fired up and he’s only good at something if he’s passionate about it

also feel like he’d be a college athlete with some scholarships so yeah, it makes sense

Not a great student tbh

Type of bitch to say “c’s get degrees.”

Really its only his public speaking skills that are keeping his grade afloat bc his presentations are sooo hype and get the class all inspired n shit

His essays and quizzes tho? Yeah, not so good

Bad at attending classes too, for sure will be like “srry my grandma died.”

And the teacher is just like “you’ve used that excuse already?twice??"

And hes just like “ugh fine you got me, I was tired and hungover”

Def tried to join a frat but Armin and Mikasa threatened to not be friends with him 

Still hangs with the frat boys a lot and is always partying with them

Pregames wayyy too hard tho, wasted before the party even starts

Unironically dances to lmfao and pitbull at college parties like “party rockers” is his fucking jam

Casual pothead, has a bong he def like nicknamed the “titan” cuz it’s so fucking huge

Will share his stash with you but like next time you got alc or bud just know he’s hitting that shit

High Eren is just really philosophical about freedom but with the munchies

Diet consists of instant ramen, mcdonalds and box mac n cheese, probably alot of redulls too

Thank god he’s athletic w a high metabolism 

Is fucking rocking the man bun and will fight you if you say otherwise

Games often with Jean, Conny and Sasha

Rage quits all the time and yes, Jean has recorded most of them for blackmail

Still uses snapchat streaks and will be so salty if one of his friends broke it

“You know nothing of loyalty. It’s one snap a day! How fucking hard was that?”  

Smells like irish spring body wash, old spice deodorant and weed

Also mint? I feel like he’s always chewing gum

One of those smokers who think he can just splash cold water on his face and chew on some gum and it wouldn’t be obvious that he’s high af

Carmex lip balm is the only slightly self care item he owns

Really into anime, loves the boss fights

I feel like he’d really like Naruto, Demon Slayer, Bnha or jojo’s bizarre adventure

You know anything with a lot of fights or training 

Ppl say he’d like Deathnote bc light but honestly I think he would get lost with all the twists and be like “why tf aren’t ppl just punching each other???”

Loves rap if he’s feeling good or screamo if he’s angry, like there's no in between lmao 

For sure listens to his music way too loud even with air pods

“Max volume isn’t enough, I wanna fuck the song” type of dude

I feel like him and Conny at one point prob tried to make a youtube channel where they like react to stuff 

Jean is the top commenter…..too bad it’s hate comments lol

Is one of those guys who has such a high body temp that even if it’s like december and snowing out, he’s still in basketball shorts and a short sleeve shirt 

Progressive bc Armin taught him how sex doesn’t equal gender, and pronouns are to be respected

Still a dick tho

“He’s such a fucking- wait hold up what are your pronouns?  They? K cool was just gonna talk shit about you but wanted to be respectful about it, thanks.”  goes back to his other conversation like, “They are such a fucking worthless cunt.”

As your bf

Probably met off tinder or something bc he is just a fuckboy looking to get his dick wet

But after fucking he just keeps hanging out with you? Or like if u get ur period or don't feel like sex he’s like, “it’s okay we can just watch a movie or something😀”

So ur not quite sure if you guys are fuckbuddies or not?

It becomes kinda obvious tho if he like ever sees you with another guy and gets all up in his face like “wtf are u doing with my girl/boy?”

U guys don’t have a clear anniversary bc he never asked u to be his, it was just kinda silently agreed upon?

Clingy lil bitch after sex like will follow u to the bathroom if u let him

Needs to shower with you, otherwise you both aint showering cuz he will turn off the water 

“Now we both stinky, bitch.”

Gives me the vibe of a guy who learned sex stuff thru porn

He goes really hard, fast and will put you in crazy positions

If u have a vagina you prob will have to like teach him about clit stimulation and literally take his hand and lead it there, he’s a fast learner though 

Will pull your hair but if you dare pull his?

He'll flip you over and spank you 

Wants sooo bad to be called daddy, up to you though if u wanna call him that but you can tell he tries to lead you to say it sometimes

Not really controlling or anything, actually loves an independent partner who has their own goals 

Is insanely jealous though, the only time he’s all up on you is if he thinks another guy is trying to get on you

If you fight tbh I think Eren can be a lil brat but I think he always has a time limit 

Like..he’s the type of guy that has about three days in him of being an asshole or being in silent treatment mode before he just breaks and knocks on your door begging for forgiveness

A little toxic but again, more so about others than actually controlling you

The type to start a fight in your insta comments if anyone other than him or your besties call you hot

Will try to be cool and say “wear whatever you want, I can fight”

And he will but like will he also cry later? Yes. 

Dates with him aren’t really dates? I think his love language is quality time so he’s the type to just try to hang out and make everything a lil “date”

Lots of late night car rides where you guys just talk and share songs (also car sex if ur up to it), lazy days where you two watch movies and cuddle in bed, also I think he’s the type of bf to try to tag along with you everywhere you go and offer to get you food afterwards

Only for like birthdays or anniversaires will he try to take you out for a fancy dinner, even then you might have to drop hints that you want a nice date bc honestly he’s totally okay getting mdconalds with you and pigging out

Overall he’s kinda a scary dog privellage as a boyfriend

Whose mainly all bark and no bite

(mostly)

Fav nicknames: Babe, babygir/babyboy, sexy, shortie 

Songs that fit the vibe: 505 by Arctic Monkeys, Cherry Waves by Deftones, Daddy Issues by the Neighbourhood

“I’d probably still adore you wth your hands around my neck”

“I’ll swim down with you, is that what you want?” 

“I tell you that I’m thinking about, whatever you’re thinking about”

[elli3luvs]

spoiled! reader x dealer! ellie

part two

a/n: ok i know i said there was gonna be smut but i really couldn't figure out how to segue into it LMFAO so i will make a part three sometime!! sorry i've been so bad recently at keeping promises :(((

wc: 1.3k

part one

"seriously, dee," you brush through your hair once more before setting the brush down, "i don't know why she's such a bitch. she's been so curt with me recently in our poetry class."

"like how?" she mumbles from behind you.

you furrow your eyebrows as you recall her behavior toward you, "like not talking to me at all — which is weird even for ellie — and not even waiting for me after class! she's also stopped showing up here! i don't understand." it was hurting your feelings.

but being emotionally constipated made you, in turn, ignore her even harder.

dina rolls her eyes at your words, trying to keep a semblance of coolness to her. she had been in the middle of a horrible cold war ever since a week prior.

ellie was mad at you because you 'suddenly turned into a bitch again' and you had started being a little curter when you realized she had to know of your crush on her. when she teased you about trying to look good for her, that's when you knew she knew.

it was so humiliating for her to know that about you. your crush on her was something you wanted to keep semi-secret until you were ready to reveal it but ellie's quick senses caught onto you.

"ellie isn't being a bitch maybe she's upset because you suddenly went back to your old ways after being kind to her for a while." dina crosses her arms at you.

you shake your head, "no way. she's definitely more sens-"

dina groans loudly, cutting you off, "whatever! talk to her about it," she slides off the bed, looking at the time on her phone, "she should be here in like 5 or so minutes. talk it over, i cannot deal anymore." dina walks out of your shared dorm leaving you in a suffocating silence.

what did she mean she "cannot deal anymore?" were you seriously complaining that much?

it wasn't like you didn't want to talk to ellie. you would want nothing more. even though it was hard to admit, you really missed her stupid jokes or the way she would look when her eyes were all hazy from the weed. you missed the way her and dina would laugh on dina's bed after a smoke session. it was becoming a welcome routine to talk to her after a long day. but, it was so hard to look at her and know she knew you liked her.

maybe it was the overthinker in you but it was too much to handle. something about it was so humiliating.

your thoughts are interrupted by a knocking on the door followed by ellie's muffled, "let me in! it's cold."

your heart thumps against your chest as you stand up and make your way to the door.

you try not to let your heart break when you see the way ellie's face falls when she realizes it's you.

"where's dina?" her voice is flat, monotonous, which was weird to hear. even when the two of you hated each other it never sounded like this.

ellie tried peering over your shoulder to see if her friend was hiding somewhere. when she realizes dina really isn't there she lets out a sigh.

this was almost unbearable.

you kick at the floor, pulling your sleeves over your hands, "she just left a couple minutes ago."

ellie clicks her tongue, looking around before she speaks up, "tell her i stopped by," she turns around, "see ya."

your voice halts her in her tracks, "wait!" ellie turns to look at you with furrowed eyebrows, "can we please talk, maybe?"

ellie scoffs, "about what?"

you nibble on your bottom lip, "about what's happening," your voice falters as you look into her eyes. curse her beautiful eyes, "about us?"

ellie looks as if she is contemplating it for a while, shoving her hands in the pockets of the carhartt jacket she's wearing. the cold air is drafting over your body but you can't help but feel warm under her gaze. her hair whips in the wind, the hair tie she has is not doing much to keep it up. ellie finally nods, looking a bit exasperated at the decision, but she still moves forwards to come inside.

ellie doesn't even hesitate to sit on dina's bed, waiting for you to finally speak up. she's fiddling with her hands and the expression on her face almost makes you want to punch yourself for being so stupid. she looked like a kicked dog.

"i'm sorry," you start off, voice cutting through the cold silence. ellie looks up at you with an expecting gaze, "i freaked out that one day in poetry class when you, when you, god — this is really hard for me. when you asked if i was getting pretty for you or if i had a date."

ellie grips the edge of the bed, "wait? you freaked out because of that? why?"

you shrug, "because you found me out. i wasn't expecting you to catch on so quickly."

ellie cocks her head to the side, "catch on to what?" she gets off of dina's bed so she can stand in front of you, "i'm.... i'm so confused right now." she confesses to you honestly.

well shit. this wasn't how you expected it to turn out. there was no backing out of this. you have to swallow your pride and fear of rejection at this moment.

"you didn't catch on that i like you?" ellie gapes at you when the sentence comes out of your mouth, "that's why i got cold. i freaked out because i thought maybe you were weirded out that i had come to like you even though i was such a bitch befo-"

ellie's hand resting on the side of your face stops your word vomiting from completing. there's a look of happiness so prevalent on ellie's features, one you have never seen before. it puts you at ease.

"you like me?" ellie's voice is barely more than a whisper.

you push against her hand, "i thought i was obvious, ellie."

she bites her lip, a blush raging across her beautifully freckled face, "man, i was just messing with you that day," her eyes blink rapidly as if she's trying to process what you had just told her, "i like you too. since the day i laid my eyes on you."

"well," you start, feeling lighter in the chest now that you have confessed, "i definitely didn't like you at first sight. i actually wanted to kill you for sitting on my bed."

ellie laughs, leaning her head against your shoulder, "oh, i remember. i ranted to dina that whole day. i thought you were so cute but such a bitch."

"i tried so hard to get your smell off my bed." ellie lifts her head from your shoulder, an offended expression cast on her face. she pushes your shoulder.

"i don't even stink!"

you push her back, the playfulness making you grin like a madman, "yeah, right! my bed smelled like weed until i washed it!"

ellie clicks her tongue as she takes your figure into her arms. you relax against her chest thankful that dina left the room so you could finally talk this over with her.

"so does this mean i can sit on your bed now?" you laugh at her little quip.

"i mean," you act apprehensive, "i guess."

she gives you a kiss on the forehead, "sounds amazing."

[rqttlers]

why’d you only call me when you’re high? - ellie williams

sorry quick note ~ I haven’t wrote in a while, please take it with a grain of salt! also not proof read, not gonna give any warnings except from drug paraphernalia because minors are probably gonna read this anyway LMFAO

“please baby i need you.” The text that pinged on your phone illuminated your room.

“fuck.” you cursed to yourself, carefully evaluating the notification, scared to click on it.

Your thumb was grazing over the screen starting to swipe it away when another appeared.

“i could fuck you so good right now just come over”

You knew she was as high as a kite, floating in the clouds. The weed haze clouding her mind, causing her to text you illogical, meaningless words. You couldn’t fall for her trap again, although every bone in your body was telling you otherwise.

As you did every few days, you laced up your converse and pulled on one of your oversized hoodies to battle the cold for the three minute walk you were about to make to Ellie’s cabin. The three minute walk that had you contemplating every single aspect of your life.

You liked her message, too embarrassed and full of shame to click in any words. That was Ellie’s confirmation. The familiar sense of deja vu settling over the both of you. You know its a problem when even Ellie can feel it. Because at this moment in time, she literally can’t feel anything. Just desire and lust, for her ex-girlfriend. You.

The snow beneath your shoes shifted to the side as you trudged along the path. The whole of Jackson was silent, nothing but the gust of wind and a few howls of coyotes and the occasional dog bark in the distance. Stillness surrounded you like it was closing in on you. Your nervousness settling into your throat, creating an everlasting lump you just couldn’t swallow.

~ knock, knock, knock. ~

The door opened and you were immediately greeted by Ellie, hands encased in her pockets.

“You okay?” You smoothly slid past her, avoiding all eye contact. That was until you felt her hands slither around your waist, pulling you back into her.

Her breath heaved onto your neck, the rise and fall of her chest pressing against your back.

“God. Do you know what you do t’ me?” She exhaled, taking an angry bite at your clavicle as she pulled the shoulder of your hoodie down.

“N-no.” You replied innocently, but you knew full well what you were doing.

The same as every weekend, she’d fuck you dumb and then you’d leave dazed as guilt crashed onto every compartment of your brain. Why did you let her keep using you like this?

“And these jeans…” Ellie dipped her hands into your waistband, pulling at the hem of your panties, grazing her middle finger over your clit ever so gently. A low moan and breath escapes your throat and the lump suddenly disappears.

“They make your ass look so good.” She grabbed at it with the hand that wasn’t pre-occupied at your cunt, giving it a squeeze and a slap before running her fingers up to grab your hair.

“I’ve been fuckin’ soaked since i seen you at the stables with Cat today. Y’ looked so fuckin’ fine baby.” Her breathy sentence only made you arch your ass further into her hips, but she pulled them away, pulling her hand from lapping at your cunt as well.

“mmm- Els!”

“What? Use your words princess.” The girl smiled into your jaw before turning you around to face her and backing you up slowly towards the end of her bed.

“I can’t keep doing this to myself.” As the words air Ellie corks her head.

“So why do you keep giving in? Huh darling?” Her veiny hands now pulling the bottom of your hoodie up your torso, but you quickly bash them away.

“I can’t keep you out of my head-“ You keep your eyes on hers, gazing into her dilated pupils, the scent of weed filling your nose.

“mhm…” She grunts. Ellie shoves you down onto the mattress, pulling off her own jumper to reveal her discoloured sports bra then continues to unbutton her jeans.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different result.” she mumbles, Her crotch meets your jeans as she drives her lips into yours.

“I’m not insane… but you on the other hand.”

All of a sudden your pants are being tugged off your legs aggressively.

“You just keep comin’ back for more.”

She’s now kissing down your torso, leaving marks on your chest, the top of your supple tits and then your stomach, before she reaches your abdomen.

Her eyes dart up to your face. The face thats looking down at her is lewd and doe eyed, and shes eyeing the mouth thats releasing soft moans and whimpers at the contact of her lips.

“You want me to take care of you baby? Make y’ feel good?”

“Mhm- yes, please els.”

A smirk contorted on her lips as you begged.

“who’s pussy is this? hmm?”

You writhed underneath her, arching your back and pushing your ass up so your cunt would work towards her mouth. Fuck, she knew how to work you up.

“Your- yours! Only yours baby.”

Your designation ignited her fire very obviously, as she dove her mouth, nose and jaw into you, lapping at your cunt like she had been dehydrated for hours in the Sahara desert.

Although you could hardly understand what dirty talk she was sputtering as you seen stars and heard nothing but white noise, you could still smell the weed. It infiltrated every sense except from the orgasm building up in your core.

“Cum for me pretty girl.”

[serpentmessmer]

tag game!!

tagged by my darling @pregnancykink

Do you make your bed? i'll at least straighten it out, in large part because my cat loves sleeping on the bed and she prefers when it's made

What's your favorite number? multiples of 5 always make my brain go brrrr but also for some reason i really like the number 37

What is your job? i hang out with animals

If you could go back to school, would you? like college yeah maybe if i could afford it without it being a financial stressor sort of thing lmfao

Can you parallel park? yuuuup, i don't have to do it very often but i can absolutely do it

A job you had that would surprise people? i legit worked at a mine, doing gold mining stuff (preparing/photoing core samples, printing sample bags, weeding the core warehouse)

Do you think aliens are real? oh absolutely. with the size of the universe being what it is, there is no doubt in my mind that there are living beings elsewhere

Can you drive a manual car? yeeeeee, i've got a little '81 toyota sr5

What's your guilty pleasure? as prev said, i do not feel guilty about pleasure

Tattoos? i've got 10 i love getting tattooed

Favorite color? greens, but specifically very yellow-grey leaning greens, i like the swampy dusty colors

Favorite type of music? see, the thing is i kinda listen to everything/i don't really delineate by genre??? and my favorite changes by season because i'm really out here going based on the vibes. recently it's been a lot of the pop-punk i listened to in high school tho so like mid-late '00s pop punk but i listen to a lot of metal and ambient and pop and hip hop, it's more "does it fuck?"

Do you like puzzles? i do, and like p much all of them i love games that are really puzzle based especially

Any phobias? yea for sure but i'm not going to list them here though where somebody can use them against me lol (spike im just keeping ur answer bc same)

Favorite childhood sport? i am deeply uncoordinated and unathletic and well i ended up playing golf in high school and that's about it. i was less a sports kid and more a going outside and being a gross menace kid

Do you talk to yourself? oh absolutely, on the regular

What movies do you adore? the way my brain screams ANNIHILATION every time this movie comes up lmfao, but some others are mandy, dinner in america, the mummy, the second lotr specifically, and jesus christ superstar which i do rewatch at least once every year. i like movies they're fun

Coffee or tea? generally more tea but that's because most roasts of coffee give me hellish stomach cramps and not a lot of places have white coffee which is the only one that consistently doesn't fuck my guts up something fierce

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? a vet, but i am not mentally/emotionally strong enough for that and i am not nearly good enough at math to do all the sciences required lmfao ive just always really loved animals

for tagging i'll hit @rmilkies @wetusb @kennyyomega @ashes-acedia and @saltbind

[weed666]

hi welcome 2 my gay sex & weed blog. my main is @fefairys my nsfw art blog is @feferriswheel

23 years old ♠ any pronouns ♠ polyam verse + switch

minors dni obviously. if ur age isnt listed clearly on ur blog i'll block u.

this is the blog where i talk about sex and weed and alcohol and stuff. more about me below the cut ^_^ pls read before sending asks! last updated: 4/14/2024

feel free to send asks of any kind :3 i love intrusive sexual questions >:) if u ask/say horny stuff abt my ocs i'll love u forever

i may be slow to respond because chronic illness is crushing my libido

fav kinks you can expect to see here: -robophilia and general objectophilia for electronics -blood!!!/knifeplay/cannibalism/gore sometimes -monsterfuckery and furry stuff :3 -petplay -bondage -EDGING/orgasm denial -cnc -somnophilia -intoxication -praise and degradation (mixing them together is top tier) -voyeurism & exhibitionism (im more of a voyeur myself teehee) -breeding (no preg) -vore sometimes maybe :3c -micro/macro -sadism/masochism -i dont post abt it as much but i love piss its like my main kink in private im just shy abt it lol. i like holding and wetting the most but also being used as a urinal :3 or using someone else as a urinal. soaking things.. hehe.

here's my irl pics tag here's my art tag (see more on my nsfw art blog i mentioned above) 🧃 is the tag i use when i talk about my fiance, juice :3 (/posts that make me think of it) 🧃pic is where i show it off <3

also, we're a plural system! there are actually 3 (maybe 4? or 5??) of us who use this blog. dante/ruby (he/she) tags posts with #🃏 while cat and sam (both any prns) dont signify themselves in any way. also sometimes ruby doesnt even use his tag lmfao.. but she always will when answering asks n stuff scythe (it/he/xe/ze) tags posts with #🩸 (it also has xer own blog now! @kismoirailsis but will prolly still post here sometimes as well since we have more followers here rn lmfao)

things we like being called: -good/bad girl/boy -slut, whore, toy -pet, dog, puppy/pup -fag/faggot!!!!!!!! -freak, pervert (<- ruby esp likes 'pervert')

hard limits: -pregnancy -incest or anything that reminds me of family dynamics, including "mommy/daddy" stuff -misgendering?? which is tricky lol bc i use any pronouns and am genderfluid, but dont imply im actually a cis girl or anything like that. -vomit -scat -feederism/weight gain -dont fetishize my fatness in general, im v sensitive to feeling like my weight is being fetishized and i do not like it. finding myself having a hard time defining the line of what feels fetishizing and what doesnt lol ... just be considerate. absolutely NO degrading comments abt my weight. praise is usually okay but i can be sensitive to it if i feel like its all you care about, i guess? its hard to explain 😭 -dont ask for nudes. i only take and post/send them on my own volition.

will add more if we think of anything.

[bisluthq]

First sorry for my bad English ✌️I'm telling you Taylor just lost her shit after her break up with Joe. All these stuffs overworking herself, making album after album rebounding with Matty and Travis(yes i think Travis is a rebound🤷) being loud and awkward at parties, going to weed parties, doing longest concert marathon in her career aka Eras tour....all these are coping mechanisms for her. Proving to herself, to Joe and to the world how she's fine, happy, she moved on. She was with this man 6 years like Taylor usually never last with men more than 3-4 months Calvin was exception but they never looked in love and she said she wasn't inspired to write while she was in relationship with Calvin so🤷 Taylor literally worshipping him in her songs "end game", " golden love", " soulmate invisible string", "my only one" "brainwashing to love me forever" "my false god" "I'd marry you with paper rings rings" like girl You're Taylor fucking Swift just calm down 😀 i don't think she'll fall in love again with someone else after Joe she'll never trust someone again especially when she's in the top on the world Joe was only man who used to love her just for her not for Taylor Swift ™ and she knew this that why they lasted 6 years and she was heartbroken but definitely she'll date men currently she's with 🏈dude but I don't think they will be "end game".

she made album after album while with Joe too and she made the tour plan while with Joe? This is like delusional Toe shipping. I’m not saying Joe wasn’t a pivotal relationship for her - it was - and she obviously loved him a great deal and tbh I think she still cares about him and that’s part of the “living with heartbreak” stuff but that didn’t mean she was happy with him there at the end and it didn’t mean she didn’t leave? What he offered her was no longer aligning with what she wanted? She didn’t want to just be a girl, she wanted to be Taylor Swift™️ again? He was emotionally distant? Things weren’t working? Because this was real life not a character storyline lmfao? Obviously Joe was hugely important to her and erasing that as some Swifties do is silly but let’s also not act like feelings don’t come and go. She loved him until the bad outweighed the good and their priorities no longer aligned.

[mysicklove]

Mello I know you drink too (bc sometimes you say you were smashed in the previous weekend lmfao) but how do you feel about smoking?

Because (you don’t really care abt it BUT ANYWAYSS) I know that for me it’s a major turn off. Like if I kiss you and you taste like tobacco I might actually puke. Even worse if you taste like unnaturally sweet mango or whatever the fuck 😭 and then smokers go on and cough like A MILLION times a day like, that makes me so mad. Just stfu sometimes yk????? Maybe I’m just a hater <3

HAHA yes i do, but in this case i was talking about smoking weed lol. i used to be a big stoner so idrc about it tbh, but since i quit i dont really want to be with someone who does it too much? and i think he does..

but yeah he does vape which is such a turn off for me. like FR FR. he said he is going to quit after his thing dies bc he did before but also that’s what everyone says so LMAOAOA

idk the more i think about him the more i am like …..we def won’t work out, but he is just so good looking and his accent is so attractive that whenever he speaks im like sighing whimsically. and he makes me laugh like so hard. idk i just will prob go out with him for funzies and NOT CATCH FEELINGS BC THAT WILL BE VERY STUPID OF ME

also, this is off topic but i need to rant a little bit. since he is like international student he can’t get a job here? idk…it’s not like something he can control but him not having a car and also struggling to afford like alot is kinda just a turn off? i feel like a dick saying this, but i just kinda like it when a guy pays for the first couple of dates without worry? and like he said he is going to pay for mini golfing but it like makes me want to die bc i know he can’t really afford it. and i also have to drive and idk i don’t like to drive and i just wish he could pick me up…

BUT he said he is trying to get a on campus job and save up for a car. but also he is SAYING these things, so who knows if he will actually do it

[mostlymaudlin]

This is a dumb question. But I've never smoked weed. How does it feel? You don't have to answer of course! I'm just curious. :)

this is a GREAT question actually <3 I love weed!

hmmm different strains feel like different things, and people have different reactions to it. that being said, a body high mostly feels like relaxation in a way that can range from like, just a lil tension released all the way to “I can’t lift my head up” lmfao. and then a mind high FOR ME is v goofy silly. and also lower inhibitions while also having low energy, so it doesn’t make me wanna go run around and vandalize things the way alcohol does lmfao. instead i write or draw or something else where I get to feel confident and silly and good :-)

I have a friend who refers to being high as like having a weighted blanket on their brain 😂 i say it makes me feel like my heads a balloon full of air. also there’s a good chunk of people who say weed makes them anxious so that def happens too.

anyway! i think weed is great. i have probably used it in unhealthy ways during several points of my life bc substance abuse issues know no bounds… but i think smoking weed is a v chill thing that’s not inherently dangerous or anything!

[gontagokuhara]

po!Nagito: *literally saves hajime from death, lives together with him, has been in a relationship with him since ancient times, has basically been raising children with him for centuries, is quite literally married to him*

also po!Nagito: does he even like me fr

It's like I understand it as a komahina enjoyer but it also makes me wanna cry as a komaeda enjoyer😭 though he's not in the story much your characterization is so full and spot on that like I can fully understand the characters who only show up in 2 chapters (cough cough TAKAA my beloved<3) Like in only 2 chapters of screen-time we literally saw the interior design/gardening geek nagito, the panicked and screamy nagito, the tired dad nagito, the heartbroken nagito, and the god of luck who played rockpaper scissors for his husband's life, again, in like 2 chapters alone!!!! Don't get me started on taka I already rambled about him in the comment section

P.S. It's also funny how literally everyone (mainly kokichi) is questioning the big five's relationship choices 💀 I honestly feel like naegami has something to do with "big five god eye candy"💀💀💀💀💀

just for the record i literally do not mind these asks/questions in the slightest to the contrary i LOOOOOOVE yapping especially about danganronpa especially about my own writing especially about pointy objects. no spoilers, but i do get a little in the weeds about behind-the-scenes, doesn't-fit-in-main-fic stuff

speaking of yapping: YOU KNOW THE DRILL

if only the extent of my yapping was known.........nagito and hajime are my favorite barbie dolls to mash together i love thinking about them i love writing them they are my danganronpa #2 and #3 (gonta <3) i am So mentally ill about them. ok.

so it makes me SOOOOO happy when people say they get my characterization. getting beneath a character's skin and making them feel both 1) recognizable as said character but also 2) distinct in that they fit naturally in the universe i'm writing them in is The thing i'm most attuned to when writing i think. (that and sniffing out plotholes i am so pedantic about my story telling). focusing on the v3 kids gives me very ample time to flesh them out into a balanced mix of the two, but with characters that aren't mainstays it makes me very happy hearing that it's not just, like, a dialogue machine spitting plot-relevant lines and instead the actual character that's meant to be talking. you know? ALL of that to say nagito is notoriously a tough nut to crack, it's a crapshoot on what you'll see him characterized as (with the potential to be really REALLY good and really Uh not so much), so hearing good things about MY guy <3 makes my heart grow five sizes or whatever

ok ok. god help us all when i post kmha writing again IM insane so moving on: other insane people (kokichi) (rantarou)

i could ALSO yammer on for ages about the messy god drama that i've mapped out in my mind palace. i can get much more specific once the fic is actually wrapped but the big five ESPECIALLY. oh what a mess. oh what a nightmare. there's like 1 and a half sane motherfuckers in that club and the half is presently threatening to end the world along with half the others. so. LMFAO

relationship drama especially (i've said that word so much oopsies) among the gods but the big five.........oh great heavens. it's not even the newest relationship within the big five but naegami has sooooo many haters. junko (makotophobic), mikan (in an abusive relationship, functionally makotophobic), nagito (byakuyaphobic), fuyuhiko & peko (also byakuyaphobic), izuru (thinks they're both cringe), hajime (wouldn't send rantarou/shuuichi to camp no matter how much he begged).....and that's only characters we've seen on screen so far LOL. kokichi is not alone in being a hater rather he's the new generation of virulently homophobic gay people. love wins <3

(also as an aside of the 'eye candy' thing; in the human world makoto doesn't beat the trophy husband allegations, but among the gods the roles are 100% reversed LOLLLLLLLLL when shit isn't hitting the fan he gets sooooo bullied during meetings if makoto isn't there)

okay and LAST thing that i sorta briefly touched on a second ago: no, rantarou has not been to camp before! hajime and nagito have offered COUNTLESS times, especially since shuuichi's mother died, but they've remained adamant on their decision to keep them at home in defiance of junko. they have very, very good reason to be extra vigilant about their kids' safety, and when contending with rantarou's precognition + shuuichi's ignorance on the gods......rantarou has been very informed on things, from a very young age. obviously he doesn't get Everything, but he's kept pretty up-to-date on the affairs of the gods. he knows about camp, he knows there are about a dozen or so there, and he knows who the counselors are — knew who hajime was as soon as he began teaching at he and shuuichi's last school, and who nagito was/had his number from a chat he and hajime had very early on into his tenure as their history teacher.

wow okay. THAT got long (as always) but as always i luv answering them!! so thank you <3

[writterings]

First of all, how do you spend $1000 on weed in two months?? Are you Snoop Dogg? Or are you getting totally ripped off by your plug? I'm. Baffled. But also like, big respect as a fellow trans masc who smokes A LOT. Like they need legit need to make testosterone weed. Secondly, what do you do to afford that and are they hiring? 👀 if it's independent and/or spicy work then more power to you!

Finally, you tagged your post with "bröther and I are out of weed" and I nearly screamed because I always used to share with my sibling and for years, I have called him 'bröther' because we used to get high and watch the 'bröther can i have some öats' video.

Take it easy! 💚

oh i live in a legal state so i splurge on the medical grade shit. those $60 eighths really do hit different. it used to take three bowls for me to feel anything but now with the quality stuff, one bowl does me good. haven't had to use a plug since it went legal here about a year or two ago. miss the street prices though.

also i get paid like shit 😅 i'm legit making below the poverty line, im just fortunate enough to live with my family still and not have to pay rent. i also only spend money on like, weed and my bills. i never eat out or go places that cost money unless i save up for it. and i don't do anything too exciting for work, im a volunteer coordinator and manage a small food pantry. so yeah that's how i can afford weed 😂

and LMFAO he oats thing is why i call my brother "bröther" too! it's kinda our nickname for each other now.

you and i got a lot in common, stoner buddy. i def agree that weed is the secondary T. stay high and take it easy 🍃💨

[cheolhub]

sar what do u think svt is like when they're high i need to know ur opinion on this.... i feel like wonwoo would be the giggly kind , jun would be just Gone, cheol would act like he has a high tolerance (he doesnt), joshua would act like he knows what hes doing (he doesnt) and.... i wanna hear what u think!

omg how funhgsgs — before anyone gets mad, im literally just joking so pls dont take me serious!!

i also rated them on if i would smoke w them or not lol

tw. recreational marijuana use

seungcheol is kinda like me i fear… he’ll smoke soooo much and be like “im not even high lol” and 5 minutes later, his head is in ur lap and he’s like “do u think god is real?” — 10/10 would smoke with him bc its seungcheol

bruh jeonghan would be so funny i think shshsb like he’s alrdy so funny, but it’s like idk he’d literally make so many jokes and they’re all so good😭 — 9/10 (he would make me laugh too hard)

personally, i dont think joshua would ingest weed in any way or form, but if he did, i think he’d be chill… idk i rlly cant imagine him high — 9/10 bc it’d be chill

junhui is head empty. like nothing. he’s literally just 🫥 the entire time — 2/10 bc i’d just be worried abt him the whole time

i think it’s cute, but i feel like hoshi would just be like “holy shit im so high” like every 5 minutes BC HE ACTUALLY IS LMFAO bro is in space and looks DAZED — 7/10

yeah i can imagine wonwoo being the giggly one hahah. he would laugh at everything omfg he’ll probably think abt something funny and just start laughing his ass off in the middle of a smoke circle and everyone is like ???? — 12/10 cuz im the same way

WOOZI … ok… don’t hate me but i think he’d be kinda touchy lekshsh like he lowkey needs skin-on-skin contact — ♾️/10 … no comment

seokmin… PARANOID. no matter how much or little he smokes or ingests, he’s just off his ass and is convinced he’s gonna fucking die. — 0/10 you’d have to pay me tbh

mingyu’s just horny 🤢 dick is hard af and he just wants to fuck. he’s obvious abt it too. NO IM RHWHSB IM PARTIALLY KIDDING — 20/10 bc i’d fuck him

minghao would fall asleep — 1/10 cuz he can’t hang 🙄

SEUNGKWAN WOULD BE SO FUCKING FUNNY TOO EHAHGE LIKE i feel like weed is supposed to make u zen but he’s just so hyper and unhinged 😭 — 10/10 idk he’d be so funny

vernon…. also VERY touchy. kinda chill but kinda wants to fuck at the same time 🙄 would sit u on his cock and shotgun — 1.143612326825e17/10 dont even start w me

chan is such a babygirl ☺️ i think he’d make u do all the work jdhsh he’ll also make light everything for him 😹 he’s so cute — 10/10 bc i wanna baby him

[tortoisebore]

hi! i also want to become a designer of some sort and was considering graphic design. i was wondering if you had any tips or school recommendations for it

yesss i have all the tips! ✨✨✨ long post warning

okay so i have a BFA in communication design and illustration. the school i went to was really tiny but had a great program when i was there—feel free to dm me & i can tell u all ab it—but my advisor was the person that made the design department extremely competitive in our area & he’s recently left the school (and is rightfully suing them over it lmfao there’s some crazy tea) so i wouldn’t recommend that specific university anymore for that reason and about a million others. but there are lot of universities that i considered before narrowing to that one that could be interesting to you too, dm me & i’ll give u a list!!

howeverrr, the big thing that made me choose my school was that their design program was more focused on teaching us to be art directors rather than designers/production artists. i didn’t realize what a difference this made until i was applying for internships as an upperclassman and found out that i was beating out applicants from other schools because those students could create great prototypes, but their ideas for their designs were weak. in my experience in my jobs and working with clients on my own, half of good design is having great ideas, so if the art director path sounds more interesting to you, i would say you should consider programs that require less production/design execution type classes (multiple levels of printmaking and typesetting, a million digital design courses, etc.) and more marketing/branding classes (some names of some of these kinds of courses at my school were integrated marketing design, elements of design, graphic design I & II, & advanced graphic design).

the ability to form strong ideas is an invaluable skill in the design world, and one that will allow you to go for art director and creative director positions rather than staying an entry-level graphic designer. those kinds of positions also come with big pay raises once you get there✨but it’s also perfectly fine to want to be the person that does all the actual design work and executes ideas from your creative directors, so if you want to just be a designer, definitely go after schools that give you allllll the production skill courses. my current job is a great mix of creative leading and design execution, so both of those things are super useful to me now

you can find out a lot about a school’s design program from their required course lists for their design degrees (which should be on their website somewhere) and talking with their design dean/advisor, so i would also encourage you to set up a campus tour/meeting with the dean or even just reach out via phone or email if you think a certain school might be a good fit, or if you have questions about what their courses are like

all schools are different in what they require for admission, too. my school didn’t require a portfolio to be admitted, but our entire first year of art and design courses were created to weed out the kids that weren’t serious about design, or just weren’t good enough to be there. we also had a portfolio evaluation at the end of our first year, and if our advisor didn’t pass us, we were required to drop the program and change majors (i kid u not, i started my first year with about 40 other design majors and graduated with four of them). make sure you’re looking at what the schools you’re interested in want to see portfolio-wise before you apply (if they want to see anything—some don’t and that’s great!!)

also if you’re anything like me, i went into design because i grew up loving art (drawing specifically), but didn’t think i could figure out how to make a career out of it. because i had all the fine art skills and zero design skills, graphic design did not come easily to me and there were multiple times in my first year that i debated switching majors (to english—editing/publishing was my backup plan!). so if you do pursue it and find yourself struggling to switch to a design mindset from a more artistic one, don’t be discouraged!! that is super normal, and it was commonplace with me and all the kids in my program. if you work at it, the design mindset will come to you, and any artistic skills you might have will translate into your work as a designer, so you’re not abandoning that original creative part of you. i did a lot of photorealistic graphite portraits before college, things that required a lot of tedious detail and perfection, and that translated into my design career in that i love grids and sorting information into perfect pretty layouts (i’m really a print layout designer at heart).

it is also super super super easy to learn about graphic design online!!! i use youtube tutorials for animation on a weekly basis in my current job. if you have access to adobe creative cloud (photoshop, indesign, illustrator, after effects, etc.) you can get on youtube and find a tutorial for literally anything you could ever want to make. this is a greattttt way to build your familiarity with the programs and make some cool stuff, maybe even things that you can throw in your portfolio

if there’s anything more specific you wanna know or just wanna chat ab it, dm me!!