#but anyway i appreciate a bunch of the green actors trying to be a bit more nuanced in their portrayals than what the writing might dictate

[homielander]

I hate that they made aegon a rapist (but in some episodes, they tried to give him depth and show how he suffers from his position). it's already not easy being team green, and we still have to pass as apologists, when that shit didn't even happen in the books and no one in that book it's a nice person. it literally is such a gratuitous scene.

me too🥲

aegon was said to get handsy with maidservants in the book but that was the extent of it (as long as we're discounting mushroom, whom i believe should almost always be discounted). i guess i can see why they would put it in there based on that, but they made the adaptational choice to whitewash pretty much every character except aegon, which would be baffling if it weren't very clear what their intention was. i think aegon may actually be the only character who is better in the book than the show. and he actually had one of the more interesting arcs in the book so it's depressing all around

if they were going to make aegon a worse guy than in the book, then they should have at least made rhaenyra book accurate, because making one of them a fundamentally better person than the other undermines the futility of the dance. but i do respect that they wanted to make rhaenyra more likable (though i would say this stretched too far with the erasure of every canonical flaw she had in 1.10 and the white hart) so the easy solution to preserve that theme was to not have aegon casually commit atrocities that are so cartoonish they're not even shown on screen. obviously then they wouldn't have been able to market a proto daenerys to audiences but maybe we'd have an interesting story idk

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Hey! Why (Defenestratte) here. Remembered you're keen on the John Oliver bits of the Horne Section TV Show, so wanted to send you this: https://www.chortle.co.uk/interviews/2022/10/24/51964/i%E2%80%99m_definitely_a_lot_odder_in_the_show_than_i_am_in_real_life

It's an interview with Alex Horne and does have a sneak peek on Mr Oliver's involvement in the show. Hope this is useful/fun for your interests!

Well shit. I am very interested in the mystery of why John Oliver is doing this show, and I have to love any mystery where every bit of information that shines light on the situation brings up more questions than answers. For example:

How did that work with John Oliver on the laptop calling in?

We had to be really clever with that, I had a day with him over Zoom and we had to record everything. We had to go through every script and lots of costume changes, we had to improvise quite a bit and then we had to fit round his bits in the room.

So, we had to pretend he was there, someone had to press play, that was really odd, but it worked. Hopefully I think when you’re watching it you presume that he’s actually there but he’s a man that doesn’t have much free time. He also nailed everything first time. We’re all so used to people being on Zoom now and you don’t really bat an eyelid, I think.

The main question this brings up is what is he going to be on the show? Before seeing this article, I assumed they'd come up with some reason for a fictionalized John Oliver to talk to the characters in the show over video chat, and that would be his role. Which I still think must be the case, because I'm not sure the alternative is technologically possible. This paragraph seems to suggest that the actor John Oliver filmed his parts over video call, but the character John Oliver will be physically in the room with them, like CGI. Which, as I said, I don't think can actually be done. But then why would the other actors have to pretend he's there? I guess what this means is just that it's hard to talk a screen that'll be playing pre-recorded footage, and pretend you're having a live conversation with the person on it. But it's worded in a way that implies they're all in front of green screens, pretending a tennis ball on a stick is John Oliver.

So that's an entirely new question for me, though it's one that will be answered as soon as the show starts on November 3rd. For the mystery I was wondering about before, of why he's there, this article offers: "It was quite a long process and I think now we’ve done it hopefully it’ll be easier in future, but we’ve got Big Zuu, Dr Ranj Singh, John Oliver who is in every episode and he’s enormous in America, he’s won a million Emmys! So that’s odd, he said yes straight away."

Thank you, Alex, that tells me nothing and leaves me more baffled than before. I am beginning to suspect that John Oliver agreed to do this just because he found my Tumblr blog, learned that someone has decided to become an historian on everything about his career that ties him to Britain, saw this person trying to put all the pieces together and find connections that make sense in an overall picture, and decided to fuck with me by doing the most inexplicable thing possible, that clashes with everything about his previous relationship with British media of any kind. That's my current working theory.

Anyway, thank you for the link, @defenestratte! I'd not seen this before, and I appreciate the baffling information. Really looking forward to November 3rd now, to see what this is about. Oh, and for anyone who wants to read the article without copy-pasting the URL, here's a link. It does contain a bunch of non-John-Oliver-related information about what the show is like, and to be honest some of it makes it sound less like the sort of thing I'll enjoy than the Guardian article from last week did. This article has a bit more focus on how it'll be a live music/variety show, which doesn't hugely appeal to me. I'm hoping the show will be more 30 Rock than TGS, you know? More Flight of the Conchords sitcom than just a filmed Flight of the Conchords gig. I mean I'd love to see a Flight of the Conchords concert, but I don't think that alone would make a good TV show.

Either way, I'm sure I'll enjoy the sitcom elements, and I do find Horne Section songs funny, and to be honest even if every other moment of it were shit I would still watch all six episodes just for the John Oliver mystery. Which I guess is the exact intention behind the move of attaching really famous guests to projects like this, and in this case it will 100% worked on me.

[lovee-infected]

Macaroon anon I love you and how can I resist writing for such a great idea? I really wanted this piece to take place as Ciel was stuck in twst in my previous au but since I mentioned dorm leaders there it couldn't be really done...Rip

A twisted path ✨

~ Black butler x twisted wonderland ~

Feat : Mey-Rin , Bard & Finnian

Poor trio stay away in shock of not only his unexpectedly loud shout but also...eh...his appearance .  Are they wrong or does this guy really look similar to master Ciel...?

Coming conscious still with his eyes closed , he hears some sounds around him:" He dead ?-""No I don't think he is, his chest is still moving" "Anyway what's this body doing hear at Phantomhive's mansion? If he's been stabbed or something it's going to be troublesome," "Na I guess this dude's just been really drunk y'all. Also...what's with the clothes ? Could it be that he's somewhat of an actor from nearby theaters ?" "Aye? Since when are the designs this messed up...- I guess we'd better get rid of it before mister Sebastian returns, maybe burry hi-"

Riddle freaks out as he hears this idiots wanting to burry him alive and immediately wakes up screaming at them to stay away.

Riddle on the other hand gazes upon what he just faced: a red haired haired maiden wearing a pair of glasses, a yellow haired boy with green pupils and a rather buff man with a toothpick in his mouth staring at him. " Ah- He a'live ! Man ya gotcha be more careful with drinking," the buff man chuckles. Riddle suddenly feels highly unsafe: Who are these people? And where am I? He's read NRC's maps enough to know that such a building is surely not a part of it , come along it's weird people. Was he kidnapped while asleep...?He pulls up his staff and starts threatening them with it , wanting them to immediately introduce themselves and explain what he was doing here- wherever it was-

Finnian tries to calm him down with a soft smile and a friendly attitude, but Riddle is strong at his point: He wants answers.

When he sees them all trying to calm him down with no explanations he gets mad : "OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!"

...What ? Wait-maybe try again:"Off with your-Heads!" ...Why isn't it working? Riddle stays still, the magic collars have to be around their neck but- they are not...?? There must've been a mistake: " Off with your heads - Off with your HEADS - OFF WITH YOUR HEADS DAMN IT-"

Mey-Rin, Finnian and Bard stare at their angry guest shouting nonsense and getting as red as a tomato, what is wrong with this guy..?

Riddle is furious and confused , what's the matter ? Is his magic blocked the same as that time Beans day?  He doesn't know , and he doesn't like it

Riddle starts shouting at them asking what they've done to his magic and the poor guys just go...Huh ? Riddle keeps on getting redder and redder as if he's about to explode . He starts threatening them from reporting them to the head master to giving them to the official policies for kidnapping and neglecting his picture 

Finnian then decides that maybe it's better to leave him to mister Sebastian and so : Picking up a huge branch and a striking it to his head , savage

Riddle passes out immediately whoops- maybe Finnian should have been softer-

They stay there gazing upon their... masterpiece . Finnian might have even broken his skull - Good god , what should they do now ? They must wait until mister Sebastian arrives ; But where is he now ?

Feat : Suma & Agni

"Pssssssst- Agniii...I guess he finally woke u-" " M- my prince , y-you sure that it was a good idea too bring a total stranger out of nowhere to our home ? I'd greatly appreciate it if you be more ca-"

Argh...what is with all noises around him ? He's told Ruggie a million times not to let anyone in his room whole he's taking a nap even if it's gonna be the grim reaper ; what are these brats doing here?

Leona rambles under lips and with a push he's awake : " Oi , you'd better know that I don't like having my naps ruined,"

Suma gasps at the sight of him being finally awake and tries to offer his unwanted guest a welcome hug which Leona rejects- Poor Suma

Leona isn't yet realizing what actually is going on , from not knowing that this isn't his room to the fact that he's now at more than 100 years ago in a whole different world ; ironic

Leona orders them to take this annoying conversation out of his room just to face Agni's locked expression : "Your room...?"

Taking a better look , Leona finally gets that this probably isn't his room and these people surely aren't from NRC

Sounds get echoed through his brain and he feels a small ache inside it . He rubs his head ...why does everything feel so strange ? Something is different ... could it be that he's still sleepy or..? Wait a second - Why can't he shake his tail ?

He immediately looks back to see if he's sit on his own tail but faces a terrifying scene : There is no tail . Is it cut off ????

and a newer fact flashes his brain : There are no ears either . But then how can he still here the sounds ? "P-please don't be", he begs . His hands shake as he brings them up to touch both sides of his head ; wishing not to find what he is looking for . And they are ! Human ears !A mild shiver is sent down his neck and he rushes to the mirror on the other side of the room just to face this nightmare with his own two eyes

He stares at the mirror with his eyes wide open and mouth as if he is going to shout . No...

Oh...nevermind . He has to calm down ; it's nothing but another fancy dream . He'll soon wake up and these will be all gone . Leona tries closing his eyes and cursing , wanting to wake up to sanity when he opens them again

Surprise : Nothing's changes . Two crappy brats still staring at him . Agni is now a bit suspicious but Suma on the other hand is really motivated : " Ahh~! Sorry if it's strange to sleep in the streets and wake up in bed- I just saw you laying there in a death like slumber and couldn't help but to bring you along ! Also , haven't we met before ? I'm pretty sure that I've seen your face somewhere before... Don't you happen to be from India ? "

Agni is really stressed out and keeps warning the young boy : " My prince ! He's now all conscious and fine , then I'd lead him out of he-"

"Prince , huh ?" Leona wasn't ever really interested in visiting ally kingdoms back at his home town so he barely got to meet any other princes , hm but to think that this cherishing child is actually a prince...man , the world has really changed

But he has no time for such games now , he has to find Ruggie or anyone else who may lead him out this insanity and return him his ears and tail

He asks for where he is - else than Suma's mansion - and the answer doesn't really do any help either . Where on the bloody hell is London ? And if these people found him laying in the streets when the heck did he even get here ? Well , doesn't really matter now , but where is NRC ?

Suma and Agni probably don't know where NRC is and Dire Crowley ? Suma wonders if this guy was the one who fooled him to buy a sick elephant which died a week after in india , but Agni is sure that neither him nor his prince have ever met a single soul named this

Leona is getting more and more pissed off wasting time chatting with these idiots so he takes his way out , ignoring Suma's begs for him to stay for lunch at least

He freezes just at the second he opens the exit doors and gazes upon the streets : Horses? carriages ? 19th century's clothing ? How long have these people been stuck in this lack of technology?

He feels like he now really needs to make a phone call but searching his pockets he finds both of them empty...those brats stole my-

He was close to getting hit by a carriage when someone shouts at him with a : " OUT OF WAY YOU SON OF A-"

He is now ready to get in a fight but a sound cuts him off : " LEONAAAA HELLP-!!!!!!" , this extremely annoying sound...what the heck is he doing here and : WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL HAS HE DONE NOW !!!????

Feat : Lau & Ran-Mao

Business tip nu 1 : Always keep calm , even if you end up losing all your magic powers in the surface without the possibility of returning to your original form or knowing where in the damn world you are : K-e-e-p-c-a-l-m

Thankfully , Azul's dope nature avoids him from going crazy during his stay in this...non-Twisted wonderland world

He had heard of theories explaining the possibility of other world's existence ; countless ones indeed . But to end up in one of them without any preparations ? He wasn't planning on that

Well nevermind , that cannot be helped now . let's look for a better way

Lack of facility , cultural deprivation and severe corruption ; is this how humans are ? No wonder the sea witch called them Poor unfortunate souls...

Enough with these people , he must now ignore all other disadvantages and take a look into beneficial sides of it...If he has ended up here , in this world and into this spot of the city there must be something linked to magic nearby ; even if he's surrounded by all these foolish people who haven't ever even seen real magic by their own eyes

Just as he's looking around , something catches his attention : a strange smell . Thanks to his family he's pretty good at following smells to their source and knowing what exactly they are : it's the pungent smell of Opium

He follows the smoke to its source and arrives to a bunch of stares going underground . A board is place next to the stares with something written on it :  Opium Den

Azul isn't one to believe in superstitions but he is sometimes interested to take ambitious  steps ; life sometimes brings you worthy surprises

Entering the shop , someone slightly grabs his arm . He turns his head to face a young, beautiful lady pulling his sleeve softly , eyes empty of any emotions . Without saying a word , Ran-Mao grabs his hat and coat and Azul thanks her , seems like he took the right path

His vision got a bit blurred as must of the air is filled with smoke , not that he isn't used to such atmospheres

" Why welcome to my place , sir . How may we service you today~ ? " a sound says from other side of the room . Azul turns back to face the source of all these smoke holding that young lady from before close , could she be her right arm woman or something ? She seems pretty obedient for one , which is nice

Azul introduces himself and takes a seat . He isn't going to get to his main point at the very first seconds ; he needs to make sure that he's come to the right person . He introduces himself as a businessman from a far away city , came to explore more of business tactics here in London . He offers Lau a small chat toward that , wanting him to give him more information on business if possible and return , he'd be given similar information about Azul's home town

While being considerably great at it , Lau isn't really interested in wasting time talking about business , all he ever cares in some sort of entertainment in whatever he does . Still , he agrees of playing this fake role for a short time . Although he knows that Azul isn't here for this either...

A few minutes pass and they both know that Azul doesn't really care to know how much a pork costs and either is Lau , so takes a serious step himself : " I see you're a man of business , Mr . Azul . I wonder what I you may be able to offer me in return ," Azul clarifies that he would get interesting information if he gives Azul good ones ; everything is clear and equal . "Then , I'm afraid that I've got not much to offer ," Lau sighs , but a small smirks appears of his lips : "But what would you say about some tea ? And maybe a small talk ? "

Lau isn't like others out there and that's pretty recognizable to Azul , but it doesn't make him the right person to trust either . He is continuing this conversation in hope of Lau leading him to the right person he is looking for , someone worthy of a greater contract . Lau lets out a sad sigh feeling sorry that he can't do much help , but he knows that who may do : A well-known friend , serving years working as a right arm man . Talented , well cultured , big on all issues including business : "I'm sure that you'll like him ,"

Well perhaps this thing's starting to work out for him : " Then by all means , lead me to this mister you speak of , Mr. Lau~" "With all pleasure . Bring him his coat and hat , sister " , Lau orders . Pleasure is always his first priority , but nothing would ever break rules of a contract ; He gives , he receives . Even taking him to Sebastian is counted but , he's already thought of that . This young man seems quite entertaining and when he first stepped into his shop Lau was expecting him , a spacial guest

Lau doesn't really care about superstitions , but still enjoys his ambitious steps  . This guy had came to him just as expected and now , something about him tells Lau that getting him to Sebastian will bring him as well newer faces to meet...what an entertaining day it would be

Feat : Tanaka

Jamil is... about to lose his mind . Caught in a whole other world without a meaningful explanation of how he ended up here or why . Magic doesn't work and there is no certain way to scape this situation and make a return to NRC . But the worst thing about it remained certain : He is caught with Kalim

Why in the bloody hell does he always have to be hooked up with Kalim ? Parents forced him into it at childhood , headmaster orders to it at school and now , the world suddenly decides to abandon him together with Kalim ? If it's joke , that's a pretty lame one . Why does he have to live in the shadows of Kalim being the unworthy dorm leader ?

Now lost in the streets , not knowing where to go or who to contact , what a wonderful way to start a day

Kalim isn't liking it at all : dirty streets , loud and short tempered people , street fight and drunk men everywhere , the smell of death filling the air , this is horrible . Kalim is well aware of poverty and deprivation lasting for so long and even remaining until the very present day , but traveling back in time and space to face one of the most terrifying levels of it just isn't his thing . He feels sorry and odd at the same time : Is this how life behind of the walls of his royal castle looked like ? He wishes he could help it . He probably could if he was any linked to NRC right now

He keeps on telling Jamil how poor they look and wonder if there is a way to help...The world Kalim knows has elegant and colorful nights and days but this world...was all caught in a dead gray mist

Jamil doesn't say a word because he doesn't want to listen , Kalim can keep on daydreaming but he has to find a way back a.s.a.p . They can't leave Scarabia just on their own and everyone (including Kalim's Dad) must be really stressed out by now . He continues to look , but there isn't really anything helpful around them . People yelling at each other and smoking the shit out of themselves . Young ladies flirting as young men offer them a carriage ride and tourists staring at each and every building like they hadn't ever seen a place to live inside as if they've been living in a cave so far , huh

Jamil can no longer take it next to Kalim and eventually goes feral : " WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP !!?" He has no control over his words now , he's nervous , furious and freaked out . If he were to compare his mood to something similar he'd say the time he overblotted , just that he had his magic back then

Now Kalim as well gets into a fight with him . What the hell does this have to do with him ? Jamil has to calm down and be realistic unless they'll never find a way out ! Jamil states that if he grew up just enough to realize how terrible their current situation is , he would've had something better to do than showing mercy over some bunches of street rats

The two of them keep on arguing until someone cuts them of : " Hohoho young men ! What's with all these loud sounds ?"

They stop and turn back to face the source of this old , chill voice . Facing a tall , old man dressed in all black clothes which high-leveled servants would wear and a monocle , giving them a soft , calm smile

" Aa- nevermind grandps ! It wasn't like it seemed we were just talking ! Right Jamily ? " he says , putting a hand on Jamil's shoulder and giving a big , wide smile . "H-hey... don't call me that..." , Jamil doesn't like Kalim acting this chill ; but it is embarrassing to see that they actually called attention

"Hoho , better . Now tell me young men , could it be that you have a trouble ? You look awfully down ," Tanaka asks ; sounding just like a grandfather guiding his grandchildren

Kalim takes a look at Jamil , wondering if it's right to do what he's thinking of and Jamil in return , nods as a yes " Well sir , there you see we actually don't belong here yet to another-" Jamil cuts him off before he could mess the whole thing up : " -Another state , indeed ! We came here for some sort of a business trip and were supposed to be on our way back home by now but sadly , ran into thieves . Our families must be really worried for now and I doubt them being sure of us being hooked up here . We lost everything and have no way to contact anyone we know... only if someone nice enough could be found to help us with it right now ," Jamil dropped his head , trying to act as natural as possible . Kalim wants to remind him that this isn't right to lie someone who is trying to help them yet he wonders if he should let Jamil take care of this now , after all he was much of a worthier leader than him to be honest...

" That's so sad to hear dear boy , I'm sure that young master as well would've been really frustrated if he were here ," Tanaka replies . Oh ? Young master ?  Jamil is now interested . Wherever this man came from , it can't be somewhere cheap , Jamil could tell . Leading them to a mightier source would be a better thing than just laying in the streets waiting for some miracle to save them right ? " Young master , you say ? " Kalim asks . " On the second thought , how about me introducing you to my master ? You're not much older than him I suppose , he as well needs to have more friends like you good men  ," Tanaka says with a sweet smile . " That'll be so nice of you um , Mr...? " Jamil asks " Tanaka is fine young boys . And you? "  " Jamil Viper ," " Kalim al Asim ! Glad to meet you Tanaka sir ! " Kalim says , bringing his hand for Tanaka to shake . Tanaka shakes hands with both of them and Jamil decides to make the process a bit faster : " I look forward to meeting this young master you say , Mr. Tanaka . It's always great to meet more men of culture ," Jamil sneakers . " Then by all means , follow me young men ," Tanaka says . With a sound of pop and some smoke , the tall man shrinks into a chibi version : " Ho , ho , ho ," " What the-!!!" Kalim panicks , no magic and yet this dude can shrink all of a sudden huh ?

" Ho ho," chibi Tanaka says before turning back and going to another direction . " I guess we should follow him," Jamil says . Kalim agrees and then , they're both following the chibi old man to the Phantomhive's mansion . Unaware of the two eyes watching them all this time : " Hihihi ~ they're quite interesting ,"

Feat : Grell Sutcliff & Ronald Knox

"Come oooon Ronald~ Shake your lazy ass and bring her along already..." " Oi senpai , that's mean ! This one's quite heavy-" "JUST SHUT UP AND DO THAT ! Don't you know it's rude to question ladies too much ? " " F-fine then , but at least give me a hand ! Have you even checked if she's dead !? " Heavy ? Dead ? She...? Vil isn't born to be disrespected like this . AND NOT A SINGLE SOUL GETS TO PULL HIM BY LEG WHEN HE'S ASLEEP

Vil immediately starts shouting at the Blondie , threating him that he'll regret it if he doesn't let go of him now . Ronald and Grell almost have a heart attack at Vil's chicken like screech which makes them jump

Vil snads up and glares at the two shinigamis : A really ugly female like one all dressed in red and a small blondie brat which looks like...eh..Azul ? Well nevermind ; doesn't matter now

What should he begin with ? Where he is ? Who these potatoes are and how they didn't recognize him being the leader of Pomefiore ? How perky they were to move him while asleep like this and ruin fabric of his overly expensive unforms ? Too many things to do

" Ah you're too loud ! My ears...Such an unexpected shout to hear from a man this hot I'd say..." Grell giggles . Vil's eyes widen , well of course he is beautiful but to be praised like that ? Ew , this is more of a insult ...

Vil decides to ignore Grell and get to the main point : Who they were and what they wanted . Grell smirks before preparing to give a 5 hour long opera show of shinigamis' romance but Ronald locks him on that point : They are shinigamis , they collect souls of the death , they had grabbed Vil because he looked a bit like the woman they were just going to collect yet didn't pay enough of attention to notice that they made a mistake , so they can all leave since they've got nothing to do with each other

Just before Ronald could get away Vil grabs him by collar , asking where they've brought him to . Grell clears that they just moved him by 30-40 meters from where they found him so it can't be really counted as bringing him to somewhere . Vil refuses to believe , wherever he is , it's way further than Pomefiore dorm or even NRC's accessable area ; that can't be . Vil threatens them one more time : " You refuse to tell , you'll end up dealing with the headmaster ," Grell and Ronald probably don't know who the headmaster is but Grell tries to take advantage : "Aaa? Is he one into punishing type ?" Vil is slowly getting annoyed by how weird this red one sounds to him ; To be honest he acts like an impatient porn star or something...

That's it , he's calling Crowley but uh , where is his phone ? Did he lose it ? Impossible . He'll never forget such an important thing to bring along ... Did these brats dare to steal his pockets....!? Vil asks them to give his phone and wallet back : now " Sir , you may like to know that human money brings no good for us and also , I'm afraid that I don't really know what you may mean by phone? " Ronald mumbles (Remember that phone isn't yet invited at their time ). Why don't this guy just let them go take care of their business ?

Vil hates it when people dare opposing him and doesn't ever take that lightly...who do these two think they are ? " Where is Night Raven College , answer or you'll face unpleasant consequences..." Is Vil challenging Grell ? Then Grell's more than ready to see what this human may have up his slave to speak to a shinigami like this : " And what may the consequences be...?" Vil gets tired , a small spell and this red ass bitch would be nothing but a toad , " I tried to warn you , you should've listened..."

Ahem , hello ? Magic ? Why isn't it working ? " Pffffffftttt- Lmao are you high or something man ? You just woke up !You'll be a great actor though I swear- You can drown in all that nonsense ," Grell laughs . " Well then hottie , I'm afraid we've got to go , see you when it's your time ~ " Grell turns to leave but Vil grabs him by collar . No one is leaving until they explain what the actual heck is going on : this place , the magic , everything

Grell on the other hand enjoyed flirting , but can't take being acted to like this . He pushes Vil back and gives him a psychotic smile , bringing up his chainsaw : " Wouldn't it be amazing if I cut those rushy tongue of yours at once ? fewer words , more of a male charm ," "Oh ?" magic may not work here , but they're not all Vil has got , he can still give this bitch guy a lesson without them : " Oi you two , this isn't really gonna workout-" Ronald mumbles but it's too late now -

Feat : Undertaker

At least he wakes up to a more suitable scene , or it seems so - His body couldn't move freely inside of this cage-like space . Is this a cuffin...? He has experience with them from his freshman year but to end up in one of them again ? Could it be that Crowley is planning on another fancy event like their first time ? Boy , he didn't like it anyway . He knocks the door trying to open it but if seems too heavy to be moved . Damnit- , he hears footsteps from the outside : " Someone there ? Why can't I open this ??" A sudden screech from out and the door slides open : " Ah thank yoUWAHAAAA- !!" Idia screams at the sight of the creepy stranger's smile at him ; he wasn't expecting this . Also , this place doesn't look like the mirror hall ? Who is this guy and where is this place ??

" Hihihi you weren't that dead I see , why waking up so soon though~ ?" , Undertaker giggles in his playful tone . Idia needs too many things to be explained to him but he just doesn't have the time , Crewel will burn him in acid if he gets any late for his class again and he doesn't care how weird his current situation is , he has to go

He gets out of the coffin and rushes to the door but Undertaker stops him there telling him not to show up out there so carelessly , which clearly confuses Idia . " Your hair...It is quite fascinating that curses remain strong even as magic gets blocked..." Undertaker adds . Idia is used to people judging him for his family misfortune but this one seemed quite...odd . He decides to ignore it and leave

" ~ Okies then I warned you , but you'll end up needing a real cuffin in a few minutes pwahahaaa-" , Undertaker burts into laughter and Idia leaves

" creepy ass old ma-" , Idia nags slowly before freezing as someone screams really-loudly right into his ears " HAIR ON FIRE , HIS HAIR IS ON FIRE !!" Before Idia can notice what is going on he's gained tens of gazes to himself , why are these guys all dressed so strangely...

" M-mummy is that a monster ? I'm scared..." " Stay away from our children you hellish creature ! " Idia freezes , critiques coming one after one : Demon , monster , Satan , Death . One option left : Run

Idia now has to run for his life , this world just isn't his thing : not at all . Even if it weren't because of being chased by a group of angry humans , do you think that he could last for even one day in this old fashioned zone ? No technology , no phones , no robots , no gummy bears , no wifi- He'd read about how different the world was before the invention of media and couldn't explain how thankful he was to never have to handle a second in the past world because he wouldn't last there for more than an hour- well he wasn't right about never ending up there but , he was 100% right about not lasting for more than an hour

Now there , he is running like he never has , begging his feet to help him this time out of any other time . Angry people screaming and bringing fire and weapons to destroy the evil

He tries to contact any possible source for help but : No magic - no internet . RIP Idia

Meanwhile Undertaker is chilling at his shop , his mind running over the cursed boy and now listening to the sound of the frightened people because of him , how pathetic , If only he had agreed to hide his hair through a safer way...sigh he should have listened to advises coming from someone who has been living within humans for years by hiding his identity as a shinigami as as his eyes... " My my , humans aren't the only fragile creatures I see..." creation can seem disturbing to him sometimes , and that's the best part with it

Back to Idia , he is slowly running out of breath . Well maybe this is the point where he has to give up ? He has long lived as a loser , bastard , procrastinator and wasted almost each and every second of his life ; well perhaps except Ortho , that was a nice work of him . Wish he was here too say goodbye .  He isn't sure if his prayers would be accepted or not but it won't hurt trying : " Good gods who're told to be somewhere up there , I know that I wasn't best that I could be and I won't try to excuse my sins ; just please let it end fast, Ame- " he forgets his prayers as his guardian angel is standing just a few meters away from him ; oh have gods sent an identical twin - human version of Leona for him to be saved ? Well whatever now , he has no time if he's the original furry or not : "LEONAAAA HELLP-!!!!!!"

And yes , he is the original one ! He curses as he sees the population after Idia , what the hell is wrong with this world ? Idia hides behind his back and Leona tries to take control before they end up burning the two of them together : " You people , chill ," " Why you defending that creature ? He a a misfortune ! A demon !" others shout at this words in agreement . Leona laughs it off . He says that Idia is way too dumb for a demon and even if he is one , he's the type to scream his ass off when someone says "hi" . Idia doesn't know if Leona's defending him or not but he doesn't dare saying a word . Leona seems too busy dealing with the crowd and slowly , the argument topic switches from Idia to Leona ; who isn't afraid of punching some faces . The argument slowly takes over and no one (even Leona) realizes Idia sneaking into an alley saving his life . He feels a bit guilty for leaving Leona on his own but he'll be fine , hopefully

Thankfully the alley is deserted and he finally lays down to catch his breath , still panting heavily . He almost got killed today and can't get over it , but things were getting a bit comforting : "Meow~" several cats show up from the corners and Idia puts on a small smile . A white kittens comes closer and allows Idia to touch and comfort him . Idia wonders , how does their lives as a cat here feels ? do they as well get as scared as he was just now?  . A few minutes later when Idia -and his cats- were chilling someone steps closer to them  . Before Idia gets to run away , a tall , black and familiar face shows up and gives him a pretty calm smirk : " My my , I see you as well adore cats, could it be some part of our hellish natures ?"

"...J-Jade...?"

Feat : Ciel Phantomhive & Sebastian Michaelis

Let us be honest , it isn't going to be that bad for him , is it ? His current lifestyle at Valley of the thorns is nothing less than London's late 19th century , just maybe it had more of a natural theme . Well , no technology can be good news since he never really get used to it after all . London's atmosphere as well seem to be just his thing : Sometimes savage but calm , filled with tea parties and great ceremonies , an interesting back ground toward the royal family and in summary , Malleus's ideal theme

Well maybe except some things : 1) HORNS-ARE-GONE . His family treasure , the great heritage that proved him coming from the all great and respected Draconia family , now is gone 2) No need to mention that there is no sight of his fairy ears either- 3) Having his magic lost in this unknown world , he is now nothing different from a fragile human being , just as weak , just as empty , just as disgusting . Oh but our prince isn't totally left on his own here...

Unexpectedly , Phantomhive's mansion is serving a mysterious guest today , even though Ciel was against letting strangers inside the house . Sebastian insisted on being aware of the importance of hospitality as the Queen's watch dog , specially with special guests

Everything seems odd to Malleus , this world , this time , this people and...this master and butler . He is no fool , not even the foolishest of these humans would treat and cater strangers without wanting something in return , therefore he needs to keep his guard up . They shouldn't be aware of his actual identity even if they look deprived of any magic

Ciel is feeling awfully uncomfortable , who is this man ? And what the heck about him might have caught Sebastian's eyes ? This greedy demon wouldn't easily be impressed , so what could it be ?

Sebastian insists that it's how he should learn to treat everyone else if he's willing to be well remembered after death ; he pronounces the last word in a pretty deep , dark tone . Making it clear that how he'll finally die in a sarcastic way which teased Ciel

He decides not to have any argues with Sebastian on that point since he can act pretty cocky with stuff he gets stubborn over , so let's see what he's hiding up in sleeve this time . Though Ciel is suspicious of other stuff as well , this Mr... -whatever he is since he doesn't give them a name- looks like a pale - greenish version of Sebastian . Could he be another demon..?

Malleus refuses to give them a name due to possible risks , yet he has to admit that he's being taken care of properly . The room he's given isn't as big as the one in his castle , but is still considerable for something a stranger would be given . Other than that , anyone else he's met here so far seemed to be pretty chill , oh except this tiny child with a blindfold and he gets to be called young master ? He has to admit that he's impressed . To be in control of all this property when you aren't yet even tall enough to pick your favorite book from the shelf on your own

And there is another guy who is really...how to explain , is it some feeling of deja Vu or he really does look like Silver ? The guy is always talking to the snakes just as Silver talks to the birds and animals . If it weren't because of difference in eye color , perhaps Malleus wouldn't believe that he wasn't Sliver himself . " Your stay won't last much longer master , your friends are on their way here , says Donne ," Snake tells him . Malleus doesn't really know how to feel about him but his words comfort him for some reason...

Ciel says that he needs to check on the trio since they've been calling him all day so he heads to the front yard , leaving Sebastian and Malleus alone

Sebastian offers him some tea and Malleus of course sees no reason to refuse . Sebastian doesn't sit beside him because it's arrogant of servants to sit beside the guests , so he remains stood up . He doesn't bother starting a conversation with Malleus and he does know how to get him to speak . Malleus doesn't mind answering to...some of his questions . How he likes it here in London , if he needs anything else during his stay , but the last question made his eyes widen : Does he do feel any uncomfortable under the terms of not being able to use his powers ?

Malleus doesn't answer , he pretends that he didn't hear him and stares at the window . He is hoping it to help him ignore Sebastian , but what he sees isn't any better :  Isn't that... Rosehearts laying there...??

Malleus has to go , not only because of getting rid of Sebastian at this point but to also check on his ally if he's alright or not :  Did the butler know he too was here all the time ?

Sebastian just knows what was going on in his mind and wants  better answers . Malleus stands up to leave but Sebastian takes grabs his arm before he could do anything : " No need to rush . We still have a lot to talk about , Mr. Draconia ,"

♦♥♠♣

Note for Idia's part : I was actually planning on Idea having his hair as well gone because , well , no magic no hair ? But that seemed too unfair for him lol

[hbwbyniall]

Ways To Love

Sooooo it’s finally here, I may have to fix some grammar in there but I couldn’t wait to post. Also not very sure about the part before the end but it’s already done and I’m all for unnecessary drama.

(ao3)

-

It’s not easy. He knew that the second he stepped into Los Angeles when he was only nineteen and he felt the world was at his feet as he was chasing his dream of becoming an actor. He did some musicals and school plays back home, and yes, he was good at it but when he finally told his family he was going to America to truly pursue his dream, his mother almost had a heart attack.

He had a stroke of luck when he started, a bunch of gigs as an extra and some small roles in criminal shows for a period of two years but then he hit a wall. He couldn’t get anything bigger than that so he had to get a job, anything that would help him pay the bills and allow him to go to auditions. He had a bunch of part-time jobs that barely left him with enough to eat, and even in that situation, he couldn’t give up, he couldn’t go back home and admit he failed.

But it has been six years and nothing has happened. He doesn’t have an agent and he has to hunt down auditions trying to get something, anything. He was alone and tired and frustrated, he’s not a kid anymore, he can’t keep pretending that some miracle is going to come his way and fix all his problems, he can’t keep waiting for an opportunity to come knocking at his door, he realizes now that the idea of an agent finding him and giving him his dream role is just not going to happen. And he’s been trying so hard, trying to pay singing and acting classes with the little bit that he had left every month when he cut off some expenses, but it still wasn’t enough.

Maybe the problem wasn’t the world trying to sabotage his inexistent career, maybe the problem was him, maybe he wasn’t talented enough. The idea always runs around his mind every time he leaves an audition with a good sensation in his guts but he never gets a callback, or when he does get a callback but gets rejected anyway. Maybe this wasn’t for him at all, maybe he made a huge mistake leaving everything he knew to chase a kid’s dream.

He had decided he would go home at the end of the year, this wasn’t working for him anymore and he missed his family too much to carry on anymore. So when he made peace with the idea that he completely wasted six years of his life, had no profession and almost ruined his relationship with his mother, he gets a call.

“I have an audition for you,” the voice on the other end says, sounding excited and reminding him of the hundreds of times this has happened before.

“Louis…” he sighs, giving up entirely.

“No, Niall. Listen,” Louis cuts him off quickly, trying not to lose Niall’s attention.

It was an indie movie. A love story about a frustrated artist who rides the same train every morning only to draw people, until one day a girl sits in front of him, swollen eyes and bitten lips, looking like a mess, so he draws her. It wasn’t exactly the role he would’ve gone for in the past but anything sounds good at this point and the best part of it? It’ll be shot in London.

It’s based on a book Niall never read before; it was published five years ago but apparently, it only got attention three years later and the author sold the rights for the movie a year ago. Louis sent them his resume some months ago but when he didn’t hear back he decided not to tell Niall.

And Niall trusts Louis; he’s his best friend and the only one that cares enough for him to actually pretend to be his agent for a while. He came to Los Angeles after he broke up with his girlfriend to a party and try to forget her. His parents have money so it wasn’t a big deal for him until he knocked up an American girl and got himself a son. They met one night at a bar when Louis was very drunk and buying everyone drinks and Niall appreciated it because he just came out of a horrible audition and was beaten up about it. That night Louis listened and then cried when he told Niall about how much he missed Eleanor and how he’s never getting her back after the pregnancy but after hearing his son’s heartbeat for the first time that morning he wouldn’t change it for a thing.

He spent the next nine months in America, with Brianna and Niall, helping him get auditions and filling up his fridge when he wasn’t home, but after Freddie was born and was old enough to travel to London, Louis took him to meet his family. A couple of weeks went by when Louis called to tell him Eleanor wanted to meet with him. He was happy for him, but a part of him broke when he knew he wouldn’t have Louis next to him the way he had grown used to.  

Louis was in England at the moment, people still had his number when they wanted a cute blond guy to appear dead in some episode of any CSI show, so occasionally he would call Niall to send him to some auditions. But Niall stopped dying his hair when he thought that would help to get better roles, and when that didn’t happen he decided to stop once and for all. He told that to Louis, so this call must mean something.

“They did the cast here in London and they didn’t like anybody,” he says, rushing up, “just read the script I’m sending you and go to the address I texted you earlier at five.”

Niall vaguely remembers seeing an unopened text from Louis after coming out of the shower. He pulls back his phone from his ear to look at the time and sees the text with the shared doc Louis sent as well.

“I’ll check it out,” Niall sighs.

“That’s all I wanted to hear,” Louis yells, only to be shushed in the other side of the line.

“You know…” Niall says, looking at his sides before crossing the street after getting breakfast. “You’re not actually my agent.”

“You couldn’t afford me, darling,” Louis snorts, cutting the line as Niall enters the nearest library-café and searches for the book Louis was talking about.

He finds it in the best seller section, even five years later. Shit.  

So he takes the book and pays for it, he orders a cup of coffee and starts reading. The story starts on the train, of course, it’s slow and careful at the beginning with details, he’s one chapter in, getting to know the character, and suddenly he gets trapped in the story, not really feeling the time passing by.

Niall is not a crier or a fast reader, but four hours and three cups of coffee later he’s read all five hundred pages in one sitting. It was a beautiful story about falling in love with a hero and the choices they make in life; it’s about growth and power and mystery and understanding; it’s about art and empathy, and Niall hates the fact that he likes it because if he doesn’t get the role now it will hurt him tremendously. So he skips lunch to study the script and by the time five pm arrives, he’s already outside the hotel room’s door where the auditions are being held, waiting for his name to be called.

*

“I know what you do is important Violet, but-” His voice cracks just a bit and his eyes start to well up. “I can’t take it anymore.” Niall shakes his head, rubbing his nose and looking everywhere but the person in front of him. “I can’t pretend that it doesn’t kill me, seeing you like this,” he yells, grabbing his own shirt, trying to regularize his breathing. “I can’t stop thinking one day you won’t come back to me!”

He didn’t have time to change his clothes and he saw the line of guys dressing up as the character in the book. A frayed burgundy sweater or a navy one, black jeans and boots, the only two outfits he wears in the first five chapters and Niall only had his green shirt and a hoodie on. He tried to keep that out of his head when he was called into the room and when they told him what scene they wanted him to perform, everything faded away.

The room is silent. Niall can hear his heartbeat in his ear and he can feel his breath come out sharply over his lips. The line waiting outside is still long, it’s almost seven and Niall is hungry and sleepy but until five seconds ago, he felt like he gave everything left in him and maybe that’s the problem, maybe there’s not much left in him to make it count. Sometimes he wishes he had the same confidence he had when he first came to Los Angeles.

He focuses his eyes on the people in front of him: Matthew Lessall, the casting director, Elena Stevens, the author of the book and the script, a couple of producers and Chloé Zhao, the director of the movie. He felt their eyes on him the moment he entered the room, he felt how they start turning the pages of his resume – with no interesting material on it – that Louis sent them, he heard them whisper as he read his lines. But now, they are all looking at him and he can’t read them, their faces are stoic and he can’t get anything from them. A couple of seconds pass and Niall feels like he could drown on air if he has to stand still for another second. He feels the last tear fall down his face and when he brushes it off with the end of his sleeve, the people in front of him seem to finally wake up from a very deep dream. Elena whispers something in Chloé’s ear and she nods.

“We’ll call you,” Matthew says.

And just like that, Niall’s entire world falls down at his feet.

*

He cries and not because of the movie playing on the screen in front of him or the brain freeze he got from the ice cream he’s eating; it just hit him. He’s going back home, almost in his 30s with nothing accomplished or any other aspirations in life. Music was always an option but after living in LA for this long, he feels like there’s nothing left for him other than working with his dad in Mullingar. Perhaps he’s crying because he doesn’t want to be a butcher.

As he stands up from the couch to go for a wee, he passes the mirror in the hallway and catches a look on his reflection and, quite honestly, it makes him laugh. He’s a mess, an exhausted and heartbroken mess. Niall washes his hands and stretches before going back to his Netflix marathon. He picks up his phone to look for the conversation he had with the girl he works with at Starbucks who recommended him a movie when he sees the two missed calls from an unknown number. He checks the time and yes, it’s 2 in the morning and then his phone starts ringing again.

“Hello?” Niall answers, a little bit worried because who the hell could be calling him at these hours?

The only person that comes to his mind is Louis or his friends back in Ireland who forgot about the time difference but the number is unknown and he hasn’t spoken to them in years.

“Niall Horan?” A voice comes from the other end of the line and it sounds slightly familiar. “This is Matthew Lessall,” Niall holds his phone tighter to his ear, “I’m calling you to tell you that we’d like you to make a screen test in London. Are you up for it?”

Niall cries again in the middle of the night, but this time he has a smile on his face as well.

*

Louis goes to pick him up at the airport and Niall cries again on his shoulder. It’s dumb, especially because he didn’t sleep at all on the plane to London and he also cried for a couple of hours before landing. Nothing is certain yet, he hasn’t signed a contract, but as far as he knows – and what Louis has told him – he’s the only one that has been called for a screen test, and he’s losing his mind over it. He didn’t know how popular the book is or how high the expectations are for this movie. It’s not a Hollywood movie but the only reason for that is the author. According to fan blogs she was eighteen when she published the book and she didn’t have much creative freedom, she had to change big parts of the plot to get it accepted because no other publishing house was interested in her.

So she wants power over the movie that she didn’t have for the book. Even like that, this movie is big. And Niall is scared, but he’s decided to work his ass off because this is his last chance.

“Now, I am your agent,” Louis says right into his ear and Niall laughs as he lets him go.

Louis takes one of his bags and walks him to his car parked outside the airport. Eleanor is there, holding Freddie in her lap and having, apparently, a very serious conversation about red bikes when they arrive. Niall gives them each a kiss on the cheek and then sits in the backseat. Louis slips into the driver’s seat after he puts the bags in the trunk and then turns the radio on as he waits for Eleanor to place Freddie in his safety seat next to Niall before he stars driving to his apartment.

Eleanor asks him about LA and what he’s been doing lately. He tells her he just quit both of his jobs and packed everything he owns in the three bags in the back because if this doesn’t work out, he’s going back to Ireland. When Eleanor turns his whole body to face Niall in shock, Louis laughs so loud they almost miss the beginning of a song.

“I love this song,” Eleanor says as he turns the volume up and Freddie laughs.

Louis and Niall have the same reaction: they roll their eyes. Niall has heard this song an awful amount of times in the last year; it’s by this British fella, just released his third album or something like that, pretty huge in both England and America, maybe even the whole world.

Eleanor starts singing from the top of her lungs as Louis and Niall try to have a conversation. He doesn’t want to make plans, but it’s hard when Louis is this excited, it makes him feel good like everything is going to be okay from now on, that his work and the last six years have been for something, that Niall can finally take control over his life for once.

“You know he did a movie, right?” Eleanor says when the song ends and Louis looks at her for a second before turning back to the road. “Harry Styles, he made that war movie.”

And Niall knows, he didn’t watch it, but he knows so he nods at her and shares a glace with Louis, knowing this is how the rest of the drive home is going to be.

*

It’s been two weeks and it’s been great, besides the fact that he had to shave for this role.

Niall got to see people he hasn’t seen in years, he’s been reading and learning his lines, done a couple more auditions for the role of this movie, a wannabe artist called Charles, and he doesn’t want to jinx it but he only has the screen test and a meeting with the writer left before shooting starts, so it looks like he has this one in his pocket.

Well at least it did until this morning when Niall had to wake up because of Louis yelling in the kitchen, so he takes his time to brush his teeth and wash his face before he goes downstairs to face whatever Louis is upset about, but he can feel it in his guts. It was too good to be true.

By the time he gets to the kitchen, Louis’ phone is already facing the table and he’s clenching and unclenching his fists like he’s ready to hit something or anything, and Niall feels sick.

“I’m guessing that was the casting director,” Niall says, walking to the coffee machine to pour himself a cup.  

Louis looks up to him like he didn’t hear him enter the room or maybe he is too absorbed in his thoughts that he really didn’t notice anything else happening around him.

“Um, something like that.”

“So, I’m not talking to the writer today.” It sounds more like a question than a statement, so he avoids Louis’ expression and goes to see what’s in the fridge.

He can feel Louis’ eyes at the back of his neck.

“Eat and then get changed, I’m going to talk to them.”

Niall frowns and hears Louis’ keys before the door closes. And that’s it, his last chance slipping away and Louis starting his car trying to save what’s left of it. So he does what Louis told him to, he eats and goes upstairs to take a shower, twenty minutes later when he’s about to turn on the TV, he gets a text from Louis.

Come here, right now.

It doesn’t take him too long to get there or maybe it does and he’s just too immersed in his own thoughts, looking all melancholic through the Lyft’s window and exanimating every single decision that got him to this point. The so close and yet too far dilemma that his life seems to be, and yes, he could be overreacting but this truly feels like the end of the tunnel for him, he just doesn’t know what he’ll find on the other side.

He’s nervous and he feels like a kid waiting to be caught for doing something he shouldn’t. Maybe he’ll never really mature. He doesn’t behave like a man of his age, he doesn’t dress like a man of his age, he doesn’t even eat like a man of his age. He’s like a kid. A stupid and stubborn kid holding on to the last bit of dream that he has left for his dear life. And perhaps that’s why he doesn’t have any regrets.

When he arrives he sees Louis waiting for him at the entrance, frenetically talking to some guys but he stops and sends them away the moment Niall steps out of the car. Louis walks to him and puts his arm around his shoulders, moving him closer so that he’s able to break it down to him in a whisper. And it’s bad. “Someone” or more like a representative of an A-list-celebrity-someone, whose identity is being protected from the public, called yesterday asking to talk to the producers and the writer because they’re interested in the role of Charles.

Niall could have an anxiety attack right this second.

“Who?”

“They won’t tell me,” Louis says as they walk into the crowded studio. “That’s why they canceled on us today. This A-person, the A standing for Asshole,” Louis explains as if it was a fact, “is coming to talk to them.”

“Why are we here, then?” Niall asks. He stops walking and it takes Louis a couple steps before he notices that Niall isn’t following him anymore.

He turns back around and promptly grabs Niall by the shoulders. “Because you’re getting into that meeting too.” And the determination in his eyes makes it pretty clear it wasn’t a suggestion.

*

Niall is fucked. He’s sitting across from Harry Styles and two members of his team, who seem more than angry. Niall can definitely see why after Louis almost made a scene talking about lawyers he doesn’t have and dropping names of people he doesn’t know, only to get them into this room. Right now he’s sitting next to Niall with a big smirk on his face, not bothered at all by the tension in this room. Almost giving off the same sense of carelessness is Harry Styles and Niall hates him already but he’s also amazed. It’s incredible to think about these people as unreachable human beings; you see them on TV and in movies or you hear them on radios, but sitting at the same table, a couple of feet apart, seems like a product of imagination.

But he’s real, Harry Styles, all talk and handsome looking at the screen of his phone, making time pass. He looks expensive as well with that giant coat and those pants too big to be his size, and even though the clothes look like they could be from the thrift store, something about him makes it look like they’re worth a million pounds (which they probably are). Something about his wavy hair falling in front of his eyes, his rosy lips half-open, and his sharp jaw…He is attractive and Niall hates him even more for it. He can’t compete with that.

They’re waiting for Elena Stevens and everyone seems to be on edge. Niall feels like everyone’s blaming them, or Louis to be more specific, but he is doing it for him so the heated glances are also directed at him. Louis got his phone out as well, trying to appear busy probably, but Niall is sitting next to him and he can see him close and open the same three apps since they sat down.

“No word about this to Eleanor,” Louis whispers at him without looking up, the same second the door opens and Elena walks in with her assistant. She’s opted for a casual outfit with her hoodie and jeans, and it makes her look so young, Niall realized with a start that she was only 19 when she got published. Her hair is tied up but strands of hair have come loose and are framing her face, she looks like she just woke up even though it’s close to midday.

Harry puts his phone into his pocket and stands up to greet her with a kiss on the cheek and a hug, longer than any strangers could be comfortable with. She clears her throat and he lets her go, scratching the back of his neck.

“I’m so sorry, I’m just… a huge fan.” He smiles.

Great.

She nods and tells him it’s okay, rubbing his arm and then she turns to look at Niall and smiles. She approaches him and hugs him, taking Niall by surprise but also making him exhale. Maybe he has a shot in this after all.

“Niall! It’s so good to see you again!” She says, tapping his shoulder before moving to sit down. “Mr. Horan here gave a beautiful audition back in Los Angeles.” Elena smiles again, but this time looking at Harry.

“Mr. Styles sent a tape-” A woman, Niall assumes it’s Harry’s agent, throws in.

“Yeah, we asked agencies and agents for tapes three months ago. I can’t say I watched it,” Elena interrupts in a heartbeat and Niall can see Louis’ smile from the corner of his eye.

“But I did. It’s good, Elena,” Matthew interferes and Niall wants to punch him in the face.

Harry clears his throat. “I can read some lines.” His voice is deep and mellow not sounding at all worried.

“We’re way past that, Mr. Styles.” Elena stands up, taking her notebook with her. “We start shooting next week.”

Niall feels like he can breathe again and Louis is possibly feeling the same if the way he touches his arm says anything. But the relief doesn’t last long because Matthew stands up as well and says something in Elena’s ear, which starts a whisper discussion between them like there was no one else in the conference room. But finally, she sits down again and crosses her hands over the table.

“All right, Mr. Styles,” she says. “You’ll read some lines but Mr. Horan here will read Charles’, you’ll be reading Violet’s.”

“I’m okay with that,” he says.

Niall doesn’t want to be nervous. Apparently, Elena likes him a lot or maybe she just dislikes Harry Styles a lot but it seems like Niall has a safety net right now, he knows his lines and he’s ready for it, but when he looks at the person in front of him with three people behind him handing him the opened script at the scene Elena chose for them to read, it almost feels like a courtesy before a goodbye.

“What are you doing here?” Harry says, exalted as it says in the script.

“You weren’t answering my calls,” Niall says and he doesn’t need a script, he’s been reading, learning and breathing those lines since Louis called him back in LA.

“So you break into my house?!” Harry yells, and Niall can see the distress in his eyes when he looks at him. He’s good. “I could’ve killed you.”

“You’ve been acting weird, disappearing in the middle of the night, getting bruises out of nowhere.” His voice breaks a little as he holds onto the last chance of saving his dream. “What’s going on, Violet?”

Harry bites his bottom lip and his hands turn into fists over the table. “I need you to leave,” he whispers, looking down at the script.

“I’m not leaving until we talk,” Niall answers right back in a heartbeat, not letting himself get left behind by Harry Styles.

“I can’t,” Harry replies, and that son of a bitch is crying.

“I don’t understand. You know you can tell me anything-”

“Not this.”

“Why?” He demands angrily, willing him to look him in the eyes.

“Because I couldn’t bear the hatred or the fear in your eyes!” He yells and if the room wasn’t quiet before, it sure is now. “When I said I could’ve killed you when I turned on the light, it’s because I could.”

Finally, Harry lifts his head and looks him straight in the eyes, taking Niall’s breath away.

The room stays silent for a whole minute before Elena and Matthew stand up, claiming five minutes before leaving the room. Niall is fucked. It’s not even been a minute but it already feels like hours. He’s aware of his foot tapping the floor but he can’t help himself at this moment, so Louis places a hand over his knee and tells him he did great but it’s not enough because, by the look in his eyes, he can see Harry also did great.

Harry Styles looks calm and of fucking course he does. Niall guesses after fame you don’t really have to try much harder to get what you want. Niall, on the other hand, is fighting against a superstar who’s trying to take away his last chance. He hasn’t really had the time to think about this side of the job, getting to meet famous people, talk to them, act with them. Instead, he got stuck in the memories of school plays and small-town theaters, the craziness backstage, the countless rehearsal hours and the effort one has to put in for a play to do well. The only thing on his mind was stories and scripts, he almost forgot about the glamorous side of it; he doesn’t even know how much he would get paid for this project. He wonders if it’s the other way around for someone like Harry Styles.

As the seconds pass by, Niall starts spiraling again. He starts thinking about Mullingar, his parents, and his friends. Even though he told himself he wouldn’t tell anyone about this role, he couldn’t stop himself from telling his parents. He just wanted them to be proud of him at least once in his life and he doesn’t want to go back home empty-handed now. He tries to shake off that thought and focus on other things, like his rival. His chair is turned to his team and they seem to be angry, but not Harry. He’s actually all smiles and laughter, trying to calm his agent. His chin is resting in the palm of his hand and Niall can’t seem to be able to look at anything else. His hands look big, at least bigger than Niall’s, and his long fingers are all adorned by shiny and expensive rings.

As if he had felt Niall staring at him, Harry suddenly turns around to meet his eyes, giving him no time to play it off, so he just looks down quickly and then awkwardly turns to Louis, his self-proclaimed agent.

Louis starts to get nervous when the five minutes’ mark passes and they’re still not back and Niall can still feel Harry’s eyes on him, so he reaches for his phone and starts looking for something to do. He’s tempted to text Eleanor a photo of Harry only to see her reaction but that wouldn’t help anybody. She has a lot of followers on social media platforms and it’s not like she’s the type of person who would post that, but the man sitting across from Niall is one of her favorite artists and people have done crazier things because of their idols. Instead of texting her, Niall starts typing apology notes to his parents and anyone who supported him over the years. He’s not being pessimistic; he just likes to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. And this, by far, is the worst.

Niall knows he’s not really a competition. How could he be? Harry Styles is almost from another species: apart from being wildly famous, he’s also more than attractive with his long legs and the face of a model. Niall is pretty sure he has won awards for being sexy or something along the line and he’s more than positive he has a six-pack under that loose sweater, it’s ridiculous. He is just Niall, a normal Irish lad who drinks too many beers for his body to be forgiving. He has stubble on his face and his nails are bitten down due to all the stress. He can’t remember the last time someone who wasn’t his mom told him he looks handsome. Niall lets out a sigh and locks his phone. Leaning back in his chair he closes his eyes and tries to clear his mind and when he opens them again a few minutes later he’s face to face with one Harry Styles. He looks even better from up close and Niall feels the urge to punch him in the beautiful face.

“I think we haven’t been properly introduced, I’m Harry Styles.” He smiles and holds out his hand, waiting for Niall to shake it.

“I know,” Niall says simply, and his mother would be horrified but this is a war and he has no time to make friends.

“Um, well,” Harry clears his throat and scratches his arm with the previously extended hand. “My agent didn’t think it was a good idea to come over to say hi.” And there’s that smile again, the one that probably gets him the world. Niall only blinks.

“It sounds like she knows what she’s talking about.”

“Niall-” Louis cuts in next to him, reaching out to touch his arm.

“I’m not trying to steal your job,” Harry says, keeping his voice down and getting closer to him, maybe to avoid the other people in the room from listening in.

“That’s exactly what you’re doing,” Niall laughs because he can’t believe it. Louis lets his arm go because he knows he’s right.

“You don’t understand, this book means a lot to my sister and me,” he tries to explain and he actually seems distressed but Niall has seen him act now and his mere presence here compromises his position in this movie.

“And this is my last chance,” Niall replies and it hits him once more, like saying it out loud to a completely stranger makes it more real. After this, there’s nothing left for him and Harry seems to understand because he backs out a little, like Niall’s words actually mean something to him.

He looks at Niall for a few beats, and then clears his throat before he leaves to talk to his agent. They seem to argue about something, but Niall doesn’t have the interest or the energy to pay attention to them.

“It seems like we’ll be here for a while, I’ll order your lunch,” Harry’s agent says louder like she wants the entire room to know or maybe to make a point. It doesn’t matter and he doesn’t care.

“I’ll order our lunches too,” Louis echoes, making everyone turn to them as he stands up with his phone already to his ear.

*

Five minutes turned into an hour and a half and Niall is bored out of his mind by now. He stretched out his feet on a second chair and he’s trying to sleep, but the fluorescent is right over his head so it’s impossible. The table is filled up with empty takeaway boxes and containers; Harry ate some kind of salad and Niall felt bad for about two seconds before diving into his burger again. They finished lunch thirty minutes ago and he has nothing else to do but stress about everything.

And he would’ve done that for a long time if the doors didn’t open right then, making everyone stand up for some reason.

“Mr. Styles and Mr. Horan with respective agents can stay,” Matthew says, “the rest of you can go.”

As the room starts to clears out, Niall’s head does too and he can see clearly what is about to happen, and it seems like Louis does too because he feels him rub his back when they sit down again in front of the same people he auditioned for in the States, which doesn’t seem to matter anymore. He’s about to get fired.

“When I started writing this novel, I had one thing in mind,” Elena starts and her eyes are shining with excitement, “but I was too young and my editor wanted me to do some major changes to be published and I did because I couldn’t fight for my work just yet and I just wanted the book to sell.”

She seems inspired and happy with that giant smile on her face and Niall is happy for her and wishes her all the best with this movie, but it just leaves a bad taste in his mouth because he’s not going to be a part of it.

“So, we’ve talked about it and we’ll take the risk.” Elena claps her hands excitedly and Niall is reminded once again of how young she is. “We want to make ‘Ways to Live’ like it was always intended to be.”

“You want to make the character of Violet a man,” Harry concludes and she nods enthusiastically. Niall has no idea what they’re talking about.

“Yes”, she sighs, “We’ll use the name of my first draft. His name was Jonathan and I want you, Harry, to be Jonathan.” Everything is happening so fast and Niall can barely catch up. He feels Elena holding both of his hands and he blinks to find her looking at him. “You’ll still be Charles, of course-”

“I have no problem with it,��� Harry says, matching the giant smile on Elena’s face.

“Neither do I,” Niall replies before even thinking about it. He’s not losing this opportunity.

*

He’s lying in his bed, looking at the ceiling with his phone resting next to his head. It’s been a couple of days and he signed his contract as well as some kind of document that makes Louis his manager of some sort and it’s good, it’s certain now, but it’s also different from the excitement of the beginning is gone. He has the job and they’ll start shooting in a couple of weeks, the only thing he has to do, besides relearn some of his lines, is imagine the story a bit differently - kissing Harry Styles at some point kind of different.

He just ended a phone call with his mum to let her know he has the gig but there’s been a change and she will be seeing her son on the big screens in about two years kissing another boy. She laughed asking him why he sounded so worried, it wouldn’t be the first time she’s seen him kissing a boy. She caught him making out with his first boyfriend at sixteen in his room, which had let to him telling her he was bisexual and then they both told his dad. It was an emotional time and Niall would’ve never thought his parents would be so supportive.

The room is quiet now and Niall feels like he should appreciate this moment, something tells him his life won’t be quiet for a long time soon. He’s going to star in a movie with a huge pop star who has never defined his sexuality and has a lot of people talking about it, guessing, asking. Niall doesn’t know what that feels like, but he doesn’t think it’d be nice since it was awful enough to come out to his catholic all-boys high school and now that he thinks about it, he may have to come out to the rest of the world. Maybe he’s overthinking this, maybe he won’t be that important. All the questions and all the attention will be on Harry and that’s good because Niall can’t handle the pressure.

Everyone knowing about his sexuality wasn’t in his plans for the near future, so yes he might have been panicking in his room in Louis’ house for the last hour and a half. He may be creating hundreds of different scenarios in his head where everything goes wrong because of him, maybe they realize he’s not that good mid-shooting, maybe Harry Styles hates him and so does the rest of the world by extension. Sometimes Niall wishes he could shut his brain down for a couple minutes. So he does the next best thing and closes his eyes while trying to slow down his breathing, something he’s been doing since he was 16 and his anxiety started to give him problems.

He does that for what feels like hours, until the sun goes down and the bell starts ringing over and over again. He hears the people entering the house, he hears the laughs and the steps as they come in, he hears children playing and dogs barking, he smells food cooking and bottles of wine being opened and wonders when Louis had the time to pull off a party. He wonders if this is for him and this job he always wanted to have, but now that he has it he feels like he’s being hunted down before it has even started. Niall wonders who could be downstairs right now, if these people remember him or even know him. He knows he’s too old to be feeling like this but maybe it was the phone call with his mom that put him in a very sensitive mood or maybe he’s too overwhelmed by everything all the time and by the time he feels his eyes watering, he realizes it has become an everyday thing.

He feels the tears running down the sides of his face and the cold air hitting their trail. His phone is ringing but he ignores it; he’s not ready to meet people and smile and talk and laugh, not yet. Everything is happening so fast, he’s barely catching up. He needs a second to breathe and clear his head before starting to actually think about how his life could change if this actually works out, how everything that he has dreamed of since he was a kid might be happening at this very moment. It’s a lot, so anyone can excuse him for another fifty minutes.

Louis, on the other hand, is not anyone and rules do not apply to him, not even courtesy or good manners. He makes his own path and he always gets his way. A lot of people would say Niall is good with people and that may be partially true, he’s a people person, he’s good at listening and laughing with people, he can be a good friend, and if he has the possibility to help, he will. But Louis, he understands people, he knows them from a five-minute conversation, so he always knows where to aim.

With Niall, there’s no boundaries or restrictions, there’s no limits or considerations. He has seen him in the lowest and highest points of his life, he has heard him say the most stupid shit ever spoken but he has also seen him talk about topics that matter to him deeply. Louis knows Niall from inside-out, he doesn’t ask for permission or forgiveness when it comes to him, so even when Niall has ignored seven of his calls, he goes into the room anyway.

“I like this panic attack a lot more than the ones in clubs,” Louis says, closing the door behind him.

“Those are trigged by my claustrophobia and anxiety,” Niall replies, not bothering to open his eyes.

“And this one?” Louis asks sitting down on the bed, his thighs touching Niall’s.

“Self-hatred and anxiety,” Niall laughs.

Louis sighs and lies down, putting his hands over his chest and looking at the ceiling just like Niall was an hour ago.

“If you don’t want to do this, just say the word.” And for the first time in the entire time Niall has gotten to know Louis, he sounds regretful, so he opens his eyes and turns his head to him.

“It’s not that,” he says and looks at the ceiling as well clearing his throat before asking the question he’s been too afraid to ask. “Do you think I’m good at this?”

“What do you mean?” Now it’s Louis who turns and he looks confused.

“Acting.” Niall can’t look at him in the eyes; his mind has been screaming at him non-stop and he’s starting to believe some of those things.

“Hey.” Louis pinches his arm and Niall exhales, turning back to him and finding Louis sitting on the bed with his full attention on him. “If I didn’t believe you have talent, I wouldn’t have fought so hard all these years for you, for this.”

“Then how come I never got anything until now?” Niall sits up as well and he’s starting to get irritated.

“Because sometimes people don’t need talented actors to play a role, they need the perfect person to play a role and I’m sorry to tell you but a white Irish dude is not trending lately.” Niall laughs at him because that, the other superpower Louis has, he magically makes everything right. “But a white bisexual Irish dude? Man, you’re going to kill it!”

He makes Niall laugh like he always does, till there are tears running down his face. He makes him laugh so hard, he bends down and holds his waist because his tummy hurts. And it’s nice for a second, hearing how their laughs slowly die instead of the noise coming from the floor beneath them. It’s nice to have someone like Louis in your corner, so brutally honest and protective.

“Who are the people downstairs?” Niall asks when he is able to breathe again.

“Oh!” Louis exclaims, like he is just remembering now about this surprise party of his, “A few friends and family members, you know?” He explains with a big smile on his face, adorably excited. “They want to congratulate you. It was Eleanor’s idea.”

“Yeah, right, Eleanor’s,” Niall says sarcastically.

“Okay, fine.” Louis stands up and starts putting his sneakers on again and then his hands on his waist. “It was my idea, you ungrateful prick,” Niall bursts out of laughter, “but this is more for me than it is for you. I deserve to be celebrated.”

And yes, he does, so he changes his clothes and goes downstairs to meet people he doesn’t remember or doesn’t know, and he smiles and laughs and saves some numbers on his phone. It feels like an out of body experience, all these people calling his name, putting an arm over his shoulders and moving him from one place to another only to introduce him to some other people with meaningless conversations and empty laughs. The oppressive feeling is starting to crawl up his chest and poisoning his mind once again when he sees Eleanor coming his way to save him with two glasses of champagne and he could cry right at that second. But he doesn’t, he just kisses her cheek and thanks her with a whisper in her ear.

The rest of the night goes by easily. Good food, good drinks and a lot of people to please.

*

His first shoots entail him walking down busy London streets filled up with extras. The wardrobe fitting was only a week ago and Niall had a couple of weeks to familiarize himself with sketches, paintings, and other art utensils just like the ones he’s holding in his ink and graphite covered hands right now. He has earphones on and he’s walking on the beat, crossing red lights and mumbling indie song lyrics. Those shots take them almost two weeks to shoot: three days a week of getting to set early in the morning and getting back home late at night.

His first scene with Harry is actually the first time their characters meet. They have a permit to shoot in the public underground for three days so they have to get it right and fast. Niall hasn’t talked to him since that day in the meeting when they told them about the drastic new direction of the movie. It’s not like they exchanged numbers or anything, especially when Louis almost had a catfight with his manager outside the studio.

Right now they’re all waiting for him on set. Niall already shot the bit where he almost misses the tube and barely gets in while losing some pages of his sketchbook in the rush, so he’s now sitting, waiting for Harry Styles to take the seat in front of him.  He does, fifteen minutes later with the make-up done, looking all beat up and bloody. Harry says hi and Niall says it back, but that’s about it. They start shooting then and don’t say much either since their characters don’t share any lines in that scene.

The next couple of days Niall falls into this new strange routine of waking up early, getting his coffee in a coffee shop near the studio after taking the actual tube there, and then dealing with twelve hours of shooting almost every day. It’s good though, it’s everything and more that he’s ever dreamt of, and he’s learning a lot. Elena is there almost every day and gives him notes alongside Chloé. And Niall is lucky, he knows it.

The anxiety in the middle of his chest starts to slowly fade away as the days pass by. He feels more comfortable and even though Harry and Niall still haven’t built a real connection, they seem to have good chemistry. Niall has made him laugh on set a couple of times between shots which wasn’t even intentional and he really dislikes how confident it made him feel nonetheless, but it’s still progress of some kind. He’s also learned that he knows very little about Harry Styles but people around him seem to genuinely like him, people in make-up, the wardrobe team and the ladies from craft, they always talk about him every time Niall is around, so Niall’s wary about making his own opinions about Harry without really knowing the man.

The chaos starts two months into shooting when the official statement regarding the cast gets released. Niall knew it was coming, Louis even specifically told him, but he forgot because he had other things on his mind, like deciding what to eat before bed that that wouldn’t make him so dense the next morning. So when it happens he isn’t prepared at all. He’s getting his morning coffee when his phone starts to blow up with text messages, phone calls, and social media notifications. Suddenly people he hasn’t talked to in over ten years were sending emails, asking if he was The Niall Horan the articles were talking about. He gains over fifty thousand followers on both Instagram and Twitter in a matter of hours. He only answers the calls from his mom and dad and then he turns his phone off before he freaks out.

When Harry sees him that day he frowns and stares at him for a second too long and Niall begs any higher power there is that he doesn’t see the panic in his eyes because he wouldn’t know what to tell him without starting to hyperventilate, but before Harry can even approach him they call him to film. That same night Louis gets his accounts verified and Niall deletes all the embarrassing photos he can find.

*

They have a late-night shoot when Harry’s fans find them, which is great if you combine it with Niall’s nerves since they’re shooting the first kissing scene under the rain. They’re not in the fans’ vision range, they’re behind the fence and they’ve been asked to stay quiet so Harry will come and meet them for a few minutes after he finishes his scenes for the night. It’s not completely successful since Niall can hear them scream and laugh from time to time but he admires the dedication, especially because they don’t know that Harry won’t be leaving at least until three in the morning.

“So, are you ready?” Niall feels the whisper on his neck and he almost falls off his director’s chair. When he whips around he’s faced with a smirking Harry Styles. “I’m so sorry,” Harry laughs. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Niall takes a second to recover and looks at him through narrowed eyes but before he can even think of a reply, they get called to shoot.

The thing is, he hasn’t kissed anyone in a while. Two years to be exact after his last girlfriend dumped him and he found himself in a point in his life when one-night stands weren’t appealing to him anymore or even worth the effort. So, he was a bit worried about messing this up or making it look awkward. Harry looking gorgeous under the rain didn’t help a lot, mostly because Niall was running out of things about him to dislike.

This is the first scene where Niall’s character learns about Harry’s character abilities – he has telekinetic powers- and the reason why he’s so secretive – he haunts down the organization that killed his mother, according to the plot. So Niall gets wired around his waist and the rain machines start going, they both stand under it for a couple of minutes to get entirely wet and then they go to their respective marks. Niall fiddles with his fingers as Harry moves to the middle of the alley, showing Niall his back. He’s a bit distracted by it when Chloé calls action but his brain reacts just in time.

“What are you doing every night that gets you looking beat up every morning?” Niall yells, following Harry as he keeps walking.

“Go home, Charles,” he says under his breath.

“I worry about you!” Niall screams and Harry stops walking. “Since I met you I go to sleep thinking about you and I feel like I can’t breathe if I don’t see you in the same fucking seat in the subway every morning.” He cries quietly and Harry turns around with red eyes and his hands turned into fists.

“I’ve told you-”

“I could never be scared of you,” Niall says, gently, walking slowly to him. “I could never hate you.”

Harry extends his hand at him, which makes Niall get pulled in by the wire around his waist until his body collides with Harry’s. He holds Niall by putting one arm around his waist while the other one hangs at his side. Niall is out of breath because of the impact and the script telling him to. He looks around him in shock and whispers, “What? How?” Harry’s hand appears on his right cheek, making him look up at him. They share a long look and Niall feels his him breathing deeply over his lips before he dives in, crashing his lips onto Niall’s.

Niall is taken by surprise. Which is stupid because he knew it was coming, he’s known for months, but when he has Harry holding him this close, his hands touching him so urgently, for a second he forgets it’s not real and he freezes a couple of seconds before he reacts and closes his eyes because according to Elena’s instructions it’s supposed to be hard and desperate.  He feels the rain slipping into his clothes but other things are more important right now, like his hand gripping Harry’s neck when he slightly opens his mouth and immediately feels his tongue begging for entrance.

“Cut!” Chloé says through the megaphone and Niall pushes Harry away breathlessly. “It was good and I liked the bit where you freeze, Niall, but the impact was too hard. Roll again since ‘I could never be scared of you’, please.”

They go back to their marks wordlessly and Niall prays to the heavens his face is not as red as it feels. This time, when he looks up at Harry, he’s smiling at him in a way he hasn’t before. He looks cocky. Niall tries to shake it off and delivers his lines when the director calls action again. The second body collide is as pleasant as the first one, but apparently looks better because no one cuts them off when they start kissing again. It’s longer than before, he can feel Harry grabbing his jacket in the back and he takes the liberty to lose his fingers in his wet hair. Niall feels his face heat up even more and he hopes that’s not a problem on camera but they still haven’t cut yet so he just keeps going until they run out of air and slowly move apart looking at each other, sharing heavy breaths.

“Again, just the kiss!” They hear through the megaphone and the same cocky smile appears on Harry’s face.

So Harry goes for it, a third time. Niall waits a couple of seconds and then closes his eyes, losing himself in the kiss, letting himself enjoy it just for a bit. This time when Harry’s tongue licks over his lips, he opens up immediately and starts reciprocating which lights up a spark between them, making them more eager. Some part of his brain is still aware of all the people watching them, the six cameras pointing at them, and the chanting of Harry’s fans somewhere in the back, ignorant of this happening at that very moment, but at the same time, he feels like it’s just the two of them. He doesn’t want to think too much into it, but when they separate Harry doesn’t let his lips go right away but instead, he bites his bottom one until Niall pulls at his hair, and then Chloé calls cut.

“What are you doing?” Niall whispers. It’s meant to sound furious or at least annoyed, but it’s just making Harry laugh.

“I’m sorry, I got caught up in the moment.” Harry gently pushes some wet strands away from Niall’s eyes before holding him around his waist again as the hair and makeup team comes running to fix the hair.

“Again.” They hear from the director.

“That’s not professional,” Niall whispers once more time before kissing for the fourth time in the middle of the night, wet from head to toes.

It takes them two more kisses before they have the final shot. Niall finds himself doing things he learned Harry likes by the way he lets out little gasps, just like Harry would do things to make him nervous, like tightening his hold on his waist or doing other things that weren’t in the script, making them waste more time than necessary and when they finally hear Chloé calling cut and Elena squeaking in excitement after having the perfect kiss, they stand in front of each other, their lips slightly swollen and their chests moving up and down heavily. A team comes in to free Niall from the wires but his eyes seem to still be attached to Harry who hasn’t moved an inch.

They say nothing for the next few minutes they spend on set, not even when he turns around and still feels Harry’s eyes on him. Niall takes a hot shower in his trailer and puts his own clothes on to finally go home and get some rest, even though he’s sure it won’t be easy for him to fall asleep tonight. He calls an Uber and gets his stuff together before stepping out of the trailer.

He’s looking at his phone and walking to the gate when he hears people shouting his name. As he looks up he sees at least fifteen girls calling for him behind the fence. He stands where he is for a second, looking around him until the girls point at him and call his name again. He doesn’t have to go, he knows that he’s tired and cold and they’re not here for him anyway, but he doesn’t want to be rude so he walks up to them and they start screaming even louder.

“Neil! Neil!” A redhead, no older than eighteen, calls him. “Can we take a picture with you?”

“It’s Niall,” he smiles and the girl goes red.

“I’m so sorry-” she apologizes and he laughs.

“It’s okay.” He takes her phone and takes a picture with her and three other girls.

“How’s working with Harry?” Someone in the back asks and he freezes for a second before getting a grip and smiling.

“Great! He’s a good lad,” and it’s not a lie, even though it’s coming from someone who has exchanged more kisses than sentences with the guy. “Very professional.”

“You are so cute!” Someone yells from the other side of the fence and the other girls laugh, Niall joining in. “Thank you.”

“Can you sign my copy?” A girl makes her way to him and Niall can see her holding her copy of ‘Ways to Live’ up to her chest. She hands him a sharpie and extends the book, Niall looks at the purple cover before opening it and writing his name too big to be pretty right under the title. “Was it the kiss or the shooting?” She asks.

“Excuse me?” Niall says, still looking at his awful handwriting and feeling bad for this girl’s book. He just gave his first autograph.

“We saw rain in the back,” the girl explains and the rest of them go silent as they eagerly wait for his response.

“Um,” Niall freezes once again but then his phone saves him, which bleeps with a text from his Uber driver. “I gotta go, guys, I’m sorry. Goodnight!” Niall leaves them with a smile and practically runs to the car with the help of the security guy at the entrance.

*

Niall gets the flu after that. The kissing scene took longer than it should’ve and it was a cold night so he woke up the next morning with a fever and a sneeze he couldn’t stop. He was in bed for two days before he could go back to set. Production told him to take an extra day to avoid spread the virus to any other actors, reading: Harry Styles.

He tried not to think about him, which was a little difficult when he had so much free time and nothing to occupied his mind with. Niall has kissed a lot of people, not only in his personal life but mostly his short roles in music videos or tv shows involved kissing, so he’s not a stranger to it and maybe that’s why he doesn’t understand why is he so affected by this kiss. Perhaps it had to be the fact that Harry was the most famous person he has kissed or even be around for the matter, maybe he was way too nervous, to begin with, and it’s not actually a big deal.

So, when he is finally back on set holding his hot cup of coffee and greeting everyone as he walks to the make-up trailer, he doesn’t look for a glance of Harry Styles as he goes, his schedule was re-assigned for all that Niall knows since he had to use those three days to shoot his alone-scenes. The deadline for the shooting hasn’t moved so Niall is shooting two scenes today instead of one as planned. Before he could arrive at the trailer, he sees the little craft area that he loves and smiles to himself when he sees the warm food steaming from the distance.

Niall doesn’t think it would be a problem if he catches breakfast before start getting ready, he came in early for this exact reason so he doesn’t feel bad when he grabs the muffin to accompanied his coffee after thanking the craft team, he’s not exactly been eating well these last couple of days. He’s just tasting the blueberries in the first bite he doesn’t feel him sneaking in from his right.

“Look who’s back!” He says and Niall almost drops his food.

“Jesus!” Niall turns to him and sees his characteristic smile, big and bright in his face. “You gotta stop doing that, man!”

“I’m sorry!” Harry laughs, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Yeah, right.” Niall gives one more bite and returns his path to the make-up trailer.

Harry growls under his breath and Niall turns around to see him catching up with him.

“I don’t know what else to do.” He says, looking at Niall like he’s the one offending him.

“What are you talking about?” Niall frowns and suddenly, he’s not hungry anymore.

“To stop you from being so hostile,” Harry says and Niall never wanted to punch a guy so much before this day. “If looks could kill I’d be dead by your eyes a long time ago.”

Niall takes a second to breathe and closes his eyes to remind himself he is in a workplace and that Harry’s net worth is more than he could aspire before laying a finger on him, he doesn’t have the money to cover the pleasure.

“You tried to steal my job,” Niall opens his eyes to find Harry extremely offended, hands-on-hips and his eyebrows almost touching his hairline.

“That is not true!” he says in an irritable low tone so the people walking past them wouldn’t listen.

“You walk in all fancy with your designer clothes to tell the writer and director you wanted to play my role.” Niall says, pointing at him with his cup of coffee, spilling a bit on his expensive shirt but he doesn’t back off. He feels good.

He sees how Harry slowly loses his position, his arms fall to his sides and his posture gets shorter, just like his chest doesn’t stand up all proud and strong. His cheeks get red and he scratches the back of his neck.

“When you say it like that-” Harry whispers.

“It was like that,” Niall reassures and turns around, but before he could take one more step, Harry stops him by grabbing his arm.

“I’m sorry, okay? What else is there to say? I really am sorry,” his tone is sincere, just like his green eyes and Niall wishes he could find something at that moment, any reason at all, to be mad at the person in front of him, but he fails. “Can’t we put it in the past and move forward?” Harry says and he sounds so gentle that has Niall disoriented and when he finally holds his hand he doesn’t even realize. “Or at least start over?”

Niall stays quiet for a bit, looking at Harry’s hand covering his entirely. And it’s funny, almost like a joke from the universe showing him how beautiful Harry looks with the sun right over his head with those big green eyes open waiting for a response and he looks genuine like he genuinely wants to be his friend and this is not a recommendation coming from his publicists so they have better chemistry in scenes and don’t screw up each other in interviews. Louis told him about this, he made the recommendation himself and now Niall is here, witnessing the whole thing by himself.

“Unless you wanted to kiss Lily Collins more than kissing me,” Harry laughs, uncomfortable with the silence and the fact that he was still holding Niall’s hand.

“Lily Collins?!” Niall yells, dropping Harry’s hand, “she was supposed to play Violet?!”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Harry smiles, starting to turn around.

“Wait!” Niall calls, getting Harry’s attention only to run to the nearest trash can to drop the cold coffee and run back to him, standing right in front of those green eyes. “Let’s start over.”

When he sees Harry’s smile starting to grow again, he knew he made the right decision, he has to look up for his career as well and having someone like Harry Styles on a bad side is not smart. So Niall says his full name, playing along and extends his hand only to hear the name he has heard too much already and shake hands.

*

His interactions with Harry change. For instance, it becomes more frequent. He runs into him too many times to be a coincidence: on his way to the loo, in craft, walking out of scenes to his trailer. Their conversations start to increase as well, going from small talk to actually ask each other about things they like or their families. They start laughing and joking around with each other as well and Niall doesn’t know what to do. He never thought about becoming friends with Harry Styles, he doesn’t know the implications of that. But still, he can’t really say they are friends. Niall stopped being so harsh towards him, yes, but he wouldn’t consider him a friend yet, it’s not like he wants him to be his friend either.

Niall is not completely comfortable with the idea of having Harry’s number in his phone or getting indecipherable text messages in the middle of the night or even having him around his trailer, it’s weird, sometimes he forgets the giant-sized baby that tries to get him to drink healthy juices and jog with him at sunrise is actually a multimillionaire superstar. It’s hard to think in that way about him when they lay in the floor of their trailers and talk between scenes when he tells silly jokes and Niall just laughs because Harry is expecting him to. Maybe Harry Styles is growing in Niall Horan and that’s okay.

He realizes that in his regular coffee shop when he orders one of those fancy drinks with almond milk for Harry for the third day in a row alongside his black coffee, he’s not even certain he likes that drink, he just brought one the other day and the look on Harry’s face when he handed the cup to him made him feel warm inside, so he kept doing it. He’s paying when his phone starts to blow up in notifications, for a second Niall thinks he messed up his schedule and he’s late for a scene, but when he finally opens Instagram, he sees it.

The post has been made, his face next to Harry’s and the name of the book followed by an article is all that’s needed to send Niall’s followers count to the roof. He takes the coffee and walks to set, speeding up for some reason he doesn’t understand yet but suddenly he feels like he’s been watched and the back of his neck starts to heat up. He starts to ignore calls and turns his phone off by the time he gets into the make-up trailer.

He allows himself to close his eyes when Jenna starts applying the foundation, it’s too relaxing and he’s a bit sleepy from staying up all night going through his lines with Harry by the phone. He smiles when he hears the team talking about the next drink night they have planned, they invite him over and Niall nods only because no one is really serious about it, especially when it’s girl’s night.

“Look at that!” the door bursts open and the ladies laugh, “if it’s not my favorite Irish man!” Harry yells, giving kissing on the cheek to the three women inside the trailer, making Niall open one eye to see him wearing those clothes two sizes bigger, looking cozy and warm.

“Morning, H.” Niall says, closing his eyes again.

“Don’t be jealous,” Harry walks to him. “I have one for you too,” he says before kissing him in the cheek, longer than necessary.

Niall pushes him away, making him sit in the chair next to him, only to allow Linda to work on his hair. Harry leaves his phone on the table in front of them and turns to Niall, making Linda’s job a bit more difficult, but it’s not something out of the ordinary.

“You’re mistreating me now that you’re famous, huh?” Harry says accusingly.

“Oh, fuck off.” Niall laughs it off.

They get quiet for a bit; Niall actually falls sleep for about twenty minutes before Jenna taps his shoulder telling him she’s finished, when he opens his eyes, everybody is gone but Harry so he does the only thing he knows what to do when he’s alone in a room with Harry: he ignores him. Niall looks at everything but him until Harry clears his throat to get his attention, just like he’s doing in that moment and Niall turns to see him in his chair like it’s the first time he’s seeing him in the day.

His legs are tangled in the chair, make it seem impossible for a man of his size to fit in but he makes it work, he even looks comfortable. Harry has this magic in him that makes you feel like everything is the way it is supposed to be like it was always meant to be like that. After Niall started to let go of the childish resentment he had for him at the begging of this project, he could actually enjoy seeing him work. Harry is so talented, he knew that coming into this, but the way he carries himself in a work environment, the way he treats people, his ability to play around and be completely professional at the same time, amazes Niall.

And that’s why he ignores Harry most of the time, because his mind dives away when he looks at him for too long and if Harry’s little smile is telling something is no other thing that Niall is staring again.

“Sorry?” Niall says, moving around awkwardly in his chair.

“You okay? You look tired.” Harry asks, leaning his head to the side, like he’s taking a better look him, almost like he’s examination every inch of this face.

“If so, this is not making its job,” Niall laugh, pointing at his face, referring the make-up but Harry doesn’t laugh.

Niall doesn’t know what he’s trying to do since he knows exactly why he didn’t have a full night of sleep. Harry called around ten in the night asking for some help with his lines, Niall told him it was late and they had work early in the morning but Harry starts talking about how this was bothering him and every time he closed his eyes the lines appear in front of him, almost like making fun of him and Niall recognized the feeling. Harry was feeling insecure, and Niall knows a lot about that.

So he agreed. He ran to his desk and took his script and looked for the scene Harry was having trouble with and they spent two hours working on that, the last hour they got carried away in a conversation Niall doesn’t recall anymore, at some point Louis came to his room to shut him up because he was laughing in the middle of the night and Freddie was already sleeping. That was the moment they said goodbye and four hours later, Niall was walking to get his coffee.

Niall blinks when he sees Harry waving his hand at him and he wants to slap himself, because he’s doing it again, in a range of five minutes. He opens his mouth to asks him if he was saying anything but Harry gets ahead of him.

“I asked you if you wanted to grab dinner later,” he repeats himself with a different smile, a cocky one.

“It’s seven in the morning, Harry.” Niall squints at him.

“I mean after shooting, you know what I’m talking about.” He answers, rolling his eyes and Niall does the same.

“Who’s coming?” Niall stands up, fixing his hair looking in the mirror and turning his phone on.

“People,” Harry whispers, looking at his phone the moment Niall turns to him.

“Who-”

But Niall doesn’t have the time to repeat his question when the trailer’s door opens.

“Niall, we’re ready for you.”

So he just nods at Harry and steps out.

*

“Ready to go?” Niall boggles when he was putting his head through the hole in his hoodie the moment he hears a voice behind him in his supposedly lonely trailer.

“You really need to stop doing that, man.” Niall finishes putting the hoodie on and turns around to see Harry standing in front of the door wearing a black shirt and some fancy white pans and those ugly ‘grandpa-looking’ Gucci shoes. “Do I need to dress up for this place?” Niall asks, looking at his sneakers and his dark jeans.

“Nah, you’re good.” Harry puts both of his hands on his shoulders and drags him out of the trailer.

They start walking side by side, talking about their day since they didn’t have any scene together to shoot and the only moment they saw each other was that morning in the make-up trailer.

“Wait for me in the car.” Harry abruptly says when he sees the tumult of girls at the front.

Niall nods and takes his right where he knows Harry parks his car, he walks alone with his hands on his hoodie’s pocket and looking at the ground. It’s starting to get colder at nights and Niall is not much of a winter person. He’s starting to get shivers for the wind blowing behind his neck and he feels it in his whole body, so he just shakes his head and finds Harry’s driver, Marlon, leaning on the car.

They chat a bit, about London, the weather and the crazy hours of a superstar, Marlon jokes with Niall and lights up a cigarette that doesn’t last long because he gets a text from Harry after a couple of minutes. Niall gets inside the van and Marlon drives them to the open gate where Harry is still smiling at his fans, hugging them and taking pictures. Niall sees him from through the polarized windows and he looks so sweet and kind that he has to look away before his brain starts to get lost again.

Harry speeds things up when he sees his car, he gives kisses on cheeks and opens the car’s door before anyone could get any closer. They rode quietly for a bit before Harry clears his throat and asks Niall about his day, the conversation dies quickly when Niall realizes he’s unusually nervous, so he asks the question he has on mind since the morning.

“Hey! So,” he says, gaining Harry’s attention, “you never told me who’s coming to dinner.”

He moves awkwardly in his seat and looks through the window.

“Yeah, about that,” the car stops and Niall looks around. “It’s a couple, friends of mine,” Harry says before coming out of the car and running to the side to open Niall’s door.

“Okay?” Niall says stepping out of the car.

The couple is waiting for them at the entrance and Niall wants to kill Harry.

“You said I didn’t need to dress up for this place!” Niall whispers in Harry’s ears when he takes him by the arm before they could walk to the door.

“I didn’t want you to freak out,” Harry whispers back with a smile on his face as he drags them to meet the couple at the door. “Orlando, Clara, ciao.”

Niall doesn’t know if Harry transforms himself for people or he just brings out other parts of his personality he keeps hiding like he’s doing right now. He introduces the Italian couple as the owners of the restaurant to Niall and he feels like a five-year-old taking his hands out of his hoodie’s pocket to greet them.

Harry has his arms over the man’s shoulders, he’s tall and broad and very much Italian with his accent and his thick black hair. His wife is equally as attractive, thin and brunette with beautiful brown eyes. They’re standing next to each other, smiling and laughing at Harry’s jokes, finding everything about him amusing with his arms around each other, looking happier than half of the people in England. Niall feels like he’s out of place in every single way. He looks up and sees the frontage of the restaurant and he knows immediately, he can’t afford anything in here.

He feels Harry’s arms grabbing his elbow to make him come inside the place and guide him to one of the private rooms when they finally sit down at the table, Niall realizes no one else is coming, the only thing he doesn’t understand is what is he doing there. The first twenty minutes feel like two hours as they order and Niall only asks for a salad only to have Harry ditch that and order some fancy pasta he never heard of before.

Niall catches a bit of the conversation and recognizes some Italian words here and there, he stars feeling a bit lost when a sentence gets his attention.

“Harry dijo que hablas español.” Orlando says looking right at his direction and Niall blinks, realizing he has everyone’s attention.

“Un poco, no mucho.” Niall answers, praying his smile doesn’t look as uncomfortable as he feels.

“El italiano es muy parecido.” Clara says and Niall recognizes the Spanish accent.

And that’s when Niall starts to get involved in the conversation, hearing sentences in Italian trying to make it have a sense in Spanish and the man is right, it is pretty similar. He knew that but never had a reason to apply it and now he’s sitting there, pretending to talk in Italian and making them laugh. The wine and the food arrives and that’s when Niall starts to let loose a bit, one moment he’s doing accents and then two bottles of wine are gone and he’s hugging Orlando and getting an open invitation to come to the restaurant any time he wants. So he talks about Louis and Eleanor and how she would love the place and how well she and Carla would get along.

He’s laughing and he can’t even remember why was he so nervous at the beginning of the evening. He finishes his glass of wine and when he’s putting it down he sees Harry sitting in front of him, both arms over the table with a glitch of a smile, looking directly at him. This glass of wine is full like it hasn’t been touch and Niall moves in his seat, turning his head to the man who was talking at him second ago only to find him kissing his wife, smiling mid-kiss. He doesn’t mean to stare, he knows it’s wrong, invasive but something warms up in the middle of his chest, maybe is the wine, maybe is Harry’s eyes staring right at him, he can almost feel them in his neck.

“Ya nos vamos,” Clara says and then she laughs, realizing she wasn’t talking in English. “It was a pleasure, Harry. As always.” She stands up to hug Harry and give him a kiss pretty close to the lips. “Y tú,” she points at Niall. “You are gorgeous, te amo.” She runs to Niall and he laughs because she looks adorable.

Niall stands up to kiss her cheek and hug Orlando as they approach the door.

“Stay for dessert, dinner is on us.” He taps Niall’s shoulder and before Niall could argue, they walk out of the room.

“Lovely folks.” Niall laughs and turns to Harry who’s still sitting, looking at him with a smile on his face.

“Sit.” He says, tapping the chair next to him and Niall hesitates for a second before he sits. “You could have started enjoying yourself way sooner if you stop overthinking everything.”

Niall nods, looking away because he doesn’t want Harry to be right, he doesn’t want to thank him either. He picks up Harry’s glass but he takes him from him before Niall could take a sip.

“That’s enough,” Harry laughs and the door opens. A waiter comes in, bringing two pieces of fancy cake and some strawberries with chocolate. Niall thanks him and helps him put the food on the table and pick up the empty glasses and plates.

When the door closes again, the room seems heavy and quieter. He slowly sits down, putting a strawberry in his mouth and chewing it quickly, making the juice drain down his lips. Harry is not eating, Niall is very much aware of that, just like he’s aware of his eyes following Niall’s lips and he is following his movements too, so he notices the moment Harry picks up a napkin to clean Niall’s chin.

Niall feels his fingers in his jaw as the napkin touches his lips. He swallows what is left of the fruit and opens his mouth to thank Harry but he gets closer and takes his breath away. His eyes are incredibly green and it would not be the first time getting lost in them but now he has a bottle of wine on him so he doesn’t exactly trust himself, he’s also pretty sure his whole face is red so he does the only thing that comes to his mind, he puts a strawberry on Harry’s mouth when he leans his head to the side and Niall turns to eat a big piece of cake.

*

The next day on set is a headache, quite literally. Niall has a massive hangover and he doesn’t recall much of the ride home after Marlon drops him off at Louis’. He fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow and he almost missed his alarm in the morning so he comes into the make-up trailer rushing up. Harry is not there when he sits on his chair so he is not that late. He takes his phone out of pocket, checks some texts, replies to some e-mails and finally, he opens Instagram.

He has now, a little more than half a million followers, which is shocking considering he reached only a hundred a couple of days ago so he checks his tagged picture to find out what could be the reason, and he does find one. A bunch of blurry zoomed-in pictures of him and Harry from last night start to pop up, first in fan accounts and then magazines, even E!News, and other well knows magazines, even some English tabloids and he starts to feel a little bit sick, but again, it could be the hangover.

He taps one of the picture’s set. It’s getting out of the car and greeting Orlando and Clara, the photo is very grainy and you can barely see the people in there but Harry’s silhouette is very characteristic so there’s no doubt it’s him. Niall swipes right and starts seeing the rest of the picture, a couple from inside of the restaurant and finally a video of them giggling as they head out.

He tries not to, he really does, but he starts reading the comments. Mainly is just people praising Harry’s outfit even if you can barely see it, others talking about how the Italian restaurant has become his go-to spot to take dates and then people start to recognize Niall. Most of the comments are people tagging him asking if that’s him, some saying it’s cute how they hang out after work and then, the inevitable, the bad ones. More of them is just people critiquing his outfit of choice for the restaurant, others the way he manages himself, then some assholes saying that Harry needs to stop taking on charity cases.

His phone is taken from him and he stares at the palm of his hand before turning around and seeing Harry standing behind him holding his phone, doing who knows what, turning it off and then hanging it back to him.

“I’m sorry about that,” he says and he sounds genuinely angry, Niall shakes his head.

“It’s not your fault,” he says in response but Harry is looking at his shoes, avoiding his eyes. “It was a really fun night! The food was amazing and…”

“I’ll make it up to you,” Harry says, finally looking at him and cutting Niall off.

“This is really not your fault, and now I have five times more followers since the last time I checked so…” he laughs it off but Harry’s expression is the same. Concerned and ashamed.

“Come to my trailer after shooting?” he asks, whispering when the make-up team comes into the trailer after their breakfast.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Niall says, reassuring.

“But I want to,” Harry repeats. “It may not be my fault but it happens because of me.” Niall shakes his head but because he could say anything, “It would make me feel better so it’s actually selfish.”

Niall laughs again and whispers an “okay” before starting his day.

*

Niall knocks Harry’s trailer’s door a couple of times before Harry opens it almost slapping Niall in the face. He sticks his neck out looking at his sides, drags Niall inside and closes the door all in the same second.

“I have weed.” He says and Niall bursts into laughter.

Forty minutes later they’re lying on Harry’s floor smoking weed and laughing out of nowhere. Niall doesn’t feel a thing and it’s great since Harry’s been telling the same story for about fifteen minutes without going anywhere and now it has become a blank noise in the back of his mind when he hands it the cigarette.

Niall feels fussy and light, he’s looking at the light in the ceiling and his vision starts to get blurry and this takes him to when he was doing week to treat his anxiety until his mom found out and almost gave her a heart attack. He tried to explain and she wouldn’t listen so it was easier to give it up for her peace of mine, so he did. It’s been a long time since the last time he was high, it’s not like he has missed it, but lately, it seems like exactly what he’s been needing.

“What was I talking about?” Harry asks after a couple of seconds of silence and Niall laughs out loud. He sits downs, leaning his back to the couch and rubbing his foot in Niall’s legs.

“I have no idea, mate, but I’m starving,” Niall says, fishing his phone into his pockets to order something.

“I have no idea, mate,” Harry says with a terrible Irish accent, making Niall look up to him and looking extremely offended.

“Are you imitating my accent?” he says and he just notices how strong his accent is when he’s high, which makes Harry laugh even more.

“You make an English accent all the time!” he laughs looking right at his face, his eyes are red just like his cheeks and he holds the cigarette with two fingers right next to his lips.

“That’s for the movie, asshole!” Niall jumps on him to take the cigarette from him but Harry holds it above his head and grabs Niall by his waist so he couldn’t move and for some reason, Niall is high enough to be comfortable with that position.

Harry does the thing again, where he looks at his whole face, from his hairline to his chin, slowly and carefully avoiding his lips because when he does, he doesn’t look away. Niall starts to heat up and squeezes around but he wouldn’t let him move, so when he finally looks at his lips, Niall gets closer to distract him and it works because he starts to raise down his hand to hold Niall’s face and he takes advantage of it and takes the cigarette from him and rolls down the floor to where he was earlier, leaving harry with his hands in front of him, holding nothing.

Niall takes a long drag and lets it out slowly.

“You think anyone knows we’re here?” he asks, looking at Harry.

“Well, the lights are on.” He shrugs and takes his phone out too, it’s almost one in the morning. They shouldn’t be there but they don’t have shooting until midday so it wouldn’t be that bad.  

“I’m gonna order some McDonalds, then,” Niall says, taking Harry’s order as well and they sit still for another forty minutes waiting for their order.

A security guy from the studio comes knocking to Harry’s trailer with three paper bags and Niall know he knows the second Harry opens the door letting the smoke out of the small trailer, he tips him even when he refuses and then leaves the door open as they take the hamburgers, the fries and the spicy nuggets out.

Two burgers, one box of nuggets and one large fries later, Niall is still lying on the floor but now his hands are on his tummy and he feels so much better. His head is spinning and his eyes are closed but he can still hear Harry finishing whatever is left from their order.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Harry says and Niall opens one eye to see him lick one of his fingers.

“Mm-hm,” he says, closing his eyes again and starts feeling a little sleepy.

“Are you into guys? I mean-,” Harry coughs and Niall opens both eyes this time to see him struggle with his words, it’s funny. “Have you ever kissed a guy?”

Niall squints and leans at him over his arm.

“I’ve kissed you, Harry.” He says, laughing.

“Yeah, but that’s for the movie,” He looks away and Niall doesn’t know what’s happening right now, but it doesn’t feel so good anymore. “What I mean is-”

“I’m bisexual,” Niall says and he’s comfortable enough with it to have to come out to people over and over again. “I’ve had a couple of boyfriends before, yes.”

Harry opens his mouth and closes it again. He scratches the back of his head and Niall smiles because suddenly he looks so small and so cute that it’s difficult to imagine he’s this big superstar with tons of confidence who can have whoever he wants.

“You can ask; I know you want to,” Harry whispers, looking at his hands.

“Ask what?” Niall says, leaning his head to the side.

“If I’m into boys,” Harry looks at him for the first time since they start eating and Niall can see it in his face, he can see the same fear he had all those years in his eyes but he doesn’t know if it’s the fear of struggling with his sexual identity or the fear of being rejected.

“I really don’t care, Haz. That’s up to you.” He says with a smile and Harry stares at him for a while before closing the trailer’s door with his feet and scrawling to Niall, getting closer and sit right in front of him.

“That leaves one last question,” he whispers and takes Niall’s hair out of his eyes, he swallows. “Can I kiss you?”

Niall should have seen this coming. The signs were all over the place but still, something in the back of his mind kept telling him he was making it all up, there was no way someone like Harry Styles would fancy someone like him and now they’re there, sitting in his trailer, while he holds his breath waiting for the kneel to drop and Harry would start laughing because there’s no way he can be serious.

But the seconds pass and now his hand is on his cheek and he doesn’t seem to be joking so Niall nods and he smiles so big it makes Niall smile too. So Harry gets closer until their noses touch and he closes his eyes the moment he feels their lips touching. This kiss is different from the ones they’re have been shooting, there’s no directing and neither of them knows what to do, so Niall does the only thing he could think of to ease the moment: he opens his mouth.

Harry starts slow but his hands are all over the place, first in Niall’s back and then he’s holding his waist for dear life. Niall puts his hands around his neck and Harry smiles in the middle of the kiss. His lips are soft and they’re very high so the kiss is sloppy which makes Niall laugh.

“What?” Harry says, deeply offended.

“Maybe we do need directing,” Niall laughs, “You’re lacking passion, mate.”

Harry looks at him and opens his mouth in disbelieve, he pushes Niall’s chest, making him lay on the floor, laughing.

“I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the first day of shooting-” he takes both of his arms and holds them above his head with one hand and Niall almost forgot how big his hands are, “-and you make fun of me?”

Harry gets on the top of him and Niall stops laughing when he sees the look on his face, the green is almost gone and the only thing he can see is the black of his retina for a few seconds before he dives in. And maybe he was holding back because Niall can feel this kiss in this entire body, so he stops his mind running and his fear and doubts for a moment and he kisses him back.

The moment seems so big now, both of them lying on the floor somewhere in the studio with no one near, kissing in the middle of the night as they’re hiding from their responsibilities, being highly unprofessional and enjoying it very much.

Harry does a thing with his tongue and Niall moans. His entire body feels warm and his mind is numb so he doesn’t feel the moment Harry’s hand starts going under his sweatpants until he’s holding him. Niall breaks apart the kiss and opens his eyes to find Harry’s face biting that cocky smile of his. Niall’s breathing starts going faster and he’s reminded once again, how big Harry’s hands are.

“Harry, I don’t think-” but he’s cut mid-sentence when his hand starts moving and every ration thought left in his mind is gone.

“Should I stop?” he asks, with no intention of stopping, instead, he goes faster and Niall could easily start shocking with the air if he intended to talk so he just shakes his head. “You look so pretty.”

“You don’t need to talk,” Niall says, dragging Harry’s body on the top of him once again and he’s right about the no taking because of his heavy breathing right next to his ear and his lips on his neck are doing it for him.

It may be the weed but everything feels too much. Harry’s hands around him, his lips all over his shoulders and the dead silence in the trailer, so he starts feeling the pressure in the lower part of his stomach he knows so well, so he tries to hold it for a few seconds more because he doesn’t want it to be over. This is definitely not the first time Harry does this, the way he presses and rubs and pulls is right in every way and it may also be because he’s high but he could easily say this is the best handjob he has ever received, he just wouldn’t say it out loud. Especially not to Harry.

To stop himself from saying something stupid he holds Harry’s face up to kiss him, making him moan this time but he couldn’t keep the kiss for too long when Harry starts kissing down his neck and biting earlobe and when he licks it, Niall comes. His breathing is harder and now Harry is the one laughing, biting his neck with his hand still inside his pants.

“Don’t leave marks,” Niall whispers, “Sarah will kill me.”

He kisses his neck and then his red cheek, it’s warm just the rest of his body. Harry lays next to him and lays on his side to return the favor but when his hand goes inside his flannel pants, he sees that’s not really necessary.

“And you laugh at me.” He says, but he doesn’t move, resting his head on his chest.

Harry starts playing with his hair and they stay like that, looking at the ceiling until they fall asleep.  

*

The next two months left of shooting is spent by them stealing kisses from each other when no one is looking, locking themselves in their trailers, texting till three in the morning and Harry daring Niall to give him ahead in the studio bathrooms in the middle of their late-night shooting until he finally did.

Niall knows exactly how this ends. There’s not really another way. Shooting ends in a week and then Harry will go back to his real life and they won’t see each other until the press junk. Even when he knows this, he can’t stop himself, he understands now why people can’t get enough of Harry. He makes you feel like you’re the only person on Earth like there’s no one more important for him to spend his time with and Niall loves that rush of energy and attention, but he also can’t get enough of him, his eyes, his lips, his hands. And he’s scared that it’s too late for him, that he fell for Harry and there would be nothing left after he’s gone.

So when the wrap party comes, he tries to stay away. It happens on a Wednesday because why not. They closed a bar in mid-town London for the occasion and the place looks great, they showed the movie poster for the first time and after the speeches were made, the bottles of champagne were open. The whole team is there since stage operators and the camera crew to executive producers, the directors, the writer and of course, the cast.

Niall had a plan. He was gonna stick to Louis’ side the entire night and avoid Harry’s view as much as he could but that went out of the window the second he stepped into the bar and Harry’s arm fell into his shoulders like it was made to be there. He’s been carrying him from one side of the place to the other, greeting people and thanking everyone involved, giving hugs and kisses on the cheeks, not letting him leave his side for one second, not even to go to the loops.

It’s harder and Harry acts like he doesn’t know or care, like after this night it won’t be nothing else to do and he’s smiling and drinking and laughing like he doesn’t regret a thing, and maybe he doesn’t, maybe this was just a stop in the crazy ride that is his life and it was Niall’s turn to share it with him. It’s not like Niall didn’t get anything from this, he did, he enjoyed too much and meet amazing people thanks to him and he appreciates it but he’s also the one that has more to lose.

So he drinks too, to keep himself of thinking too much of how pretty Harry looks under the golden light of the bar or how soft feels his chest on his cheek or how warm is his hand on his waist because it has made its own home at this point in the night, he doesn’t want to say how effortless beautiful is his smile or how much he looks his lips, how he pretends to find his jokes annoying when they’re actually amusing, not because they’re funny but the way he tells them with genuine excitement it’s what makes them worth a laugh. And when they dance in the middle of the bar as no one else was there, Niall doesn’t tell him how much he will miss his lips, his hands, his eyes.

The moment the lights start to fade away as the song ends, Niall realizes that he may have fallen in love with him, which is stupid since he met him only six months ago and they started to fool around the last two months. He just stays there, staring at him, wondering how could he be such an idiot when Harry asks if he wants to go home. He has only a couple of seconds to consider but the only thing in his mind is: “If this is gonna end, don’t you want it to end right?” so he nods and Harry takes his hand to take him out of the bar.

They don’t say goodbye or answer when their names are called. Harry taps in Marlon’s shoulder and whispers in his ear when he turns, following them. They go to Harry’s car and the moment they step in, Harry starts making out with him. The thing is, they have fooled around with each other for the last seven weeks but they haven’t slept together, Niall never had the intention of it but right now, there’s nothing he wants more.

He gets in the top of him and Harry stars rubbing his hands on his back, kissing him with open mouth and going down his neck. Niall pulls his hair and Harry laugh when his phone starts ringing. He ignores it the first time but the phone won’t stop ringing and lifts his finger, making Niall stop so he could get his phone from his pocket.

The conversation goes on quickly; Niall doesn’t hear all of it but he doesn’t have to understand what’s going.

“What? Jeff, you said next week- I already told my mom I was having lunch with her on Friday. You can’t do this to me right now. Okay, fine.”

Niall gets off his lap and sits next to him waiting for him to end the call as he fixes himself up wishing the alcohol wouldn’t have lost all effect seconds ago. He’s not looking at Harry when he finally puts his phone back in his pocket and turns to him.

“I have a plane to catch in six hours, I’m so sorry, Niall. Can we leave this for another time?”

Niall nods but he doesn’t say anything until the moment they leave him in front of Louis’ door.

“See you around, Harry.” It’s the only thing he says when he closes the door.

“I’ll call you!” Harry yells from the window before the car disappears from his vision.

He doesn’t.

*

Louis takes the manager job pretty serious, they hide Tara, which is one of the best publicists around and they get him an interview with Vaniety Fair Magazine, which is huge so Niall doesn’t really understand how did they manage to get it, Tara only tells him that they already had a schedule but the artist programmed for one of august canceled so Tara’s contact in the office got them the gig. Niall can’t figure it out how they’re able to afford her and Louis wouldn’t explain it to him, so he just rolls with it.

The photoshoot takes place two months after finishing the movie and they publish the number two months after that. It was a good interview for being his first one, they really tried to avoid the ‘Harry’ subject of the conversation as long as they could and they ask about his childhood, ‘the acting call’, his time in L.A. and how he got the part before asking about his co-star. Niall was ready for it, he knew they would ask about it, so he had an answer ready and it went great.

His mum calls him the day she gets the magazine and cries on the phone about how handsome is baby looks. They gave him different suits to put on and he has to admit it, he looks good.

He did a bunch of casting and got some call-backs so they’re evaluating jobs right now, everything is going exactly how he’s dreamed of and yet, he can’t stop looking at his phone, waiting for a call he knows it won’t come. He’s with Louis at the moment, looking for an apartment since he can afford it now but he’s visiting the third one of the days and he hasn’t really been looking around.

“Okay, you gotta stop that,” Louis takes his phone away and puts it on his jacket.

“I’m waiting for a casting call!” he says in defense, trying to get his phone back.

“That’s bullshit! I get your casting calls, moron.”

Niall ends up getting the first place they went to see and the magazine comes out three weeks after that.

*

Niall gets invited to the Vaniety Fair party the week after the trailer gets released and Tara gets him a Paul Smith’s suit to wear. Surprisingly enough, a lot of people are interested in him. He bumps into movie stars and musicians in his way to get drinks and they stop him to greet him. He has talked to people he had only seen in movies or concerts and he needs Louis to pinch him a few times.

His cover is hanging next to other portraits in the walls and it’s almost incredible to see. Eleanor insists to take a picture of him next to his cover, so he does, he points to the picture behind him almost as big as a billboard and Eleanor manages to post it in his Instagram for his, almost, a million followers before he could have his phone back.

He’s holding a glass of champagne when he feels someone patting his shoulder so he turns around to find Lily Collins wearing a red dress that makes her look like royalty and her beautiful hair hanging in a loose ponytail, he’s speechless for a moment until she waves her hand and smiles. Niall apologizes and introduces himself, kissing her cheek when she leans over.

“I wanted to say ‘hi’” She laughs. “And maybe meet my almost co-star.”

Niall stares at her for a second, not finding meaning to her words until he remembers the conversation he had with Harry the day they agreed to try to become friends, also known as the day he fucked everything up. They were fine ignoring each other or barking at the other directions every once in a while but they had to make everything more complicated. Niall is not like that, he’s a very simple guy who stays away from drama and avoids problems at all costs. Harry, on the other hand, he’s completely different, he likes adventure and complexity, he likes taking risks and try new things and when you mix all of that together, alongside the circle and the money he gravitates with, it could turn into a disaster.

“Oh! Maybe you didn’t know,” she touches his arm, bringing him back from that place in his mind he’s starting to get to know very well, it’s turning into the ‘Harry’s space’. She laughs again, draining the tension out of the situation without even knowing. “I got offered the part of Violet. I was reading the script when my agent told me somebody else took the part.”

She crosses her arms over her chest, which makes her look incredibly younger, Niall smiles. Right now, these little details are a breath of fresh air.

“But I would have never guessed Harry Styles stole my role!”

And that’s when he laughs and Lily Collins seems pretty pleased with herself about it.

“Yeah, I think he told me once.” Niall moves the liquid in the glass he’s holding with his left hand, a thing he has started to do when he talks about Harry, distract himself. “I’m sure it would have been amazing to work with you.” He smiles at her, not knowing why is he so nervous all of a sudden.

“I watched the trailer, it looks amazing, I’m convinced it’s gonna do great. It’ll be big.”

“Well, I certainly hope so.”

And for some reason, he finds himself talking to Lily Collins for the next hour, and it’s great. They talk about music and movies, about food and school, their hometowns and families and she seems so down to earth and sweet and funny that he forgets for a second that she is one of the biggest movie actors in the industry.

“I’ve heard that Harry will be here in an hour or so, we should mess up with him.” She says out of the blue, leaning over like she’s telling him a secret that apparently a lot of people know about.

Niall’s smile slowly fades away, he drinks up what’s left of the champagne which is warm and tasting like sour apple juice. He looks around the room trying to find him, to hide from him because he doesn’t want to see him, he is not ready to stand in front of him and ask him why. Why did he never call back? Why did Niall keep waiting for that long? Why is he still waiting? Why did he lie? Why did they even start whatever that was?

He blinks repeatedly until his eyes focus on Lily, she’s not laughing anymore and she starts shrugging around thinking she did something wrong so Niall puts his hand over his arm to reassure her everything is right.

“I didn’t even look at the time!” Niall laughs this time, “I gotta catch a flight tomorrow, I was supposed to leave forty minutes ago!”

It’s not exactly a lie, he is taking a plane to Ireland the next day to visit his mother, but his flight is not until 4 in the afternoon, but now at the idea of the possibility of Harry showing up in this place, the chance of seeing him after almost eight months it’s terrifying and he’ not ready so he has to leave.

“Oh no,” she pouts but starts looking into her purse to take out her phone, “give me your number so we can arrange a little vengeance to Harry.”

He just smiles and takes her phone, writing down his number and calling himself so he can save her number as well, later, after he gets back to his flat where there’s still unopen boxes and he only has a mattress in the middle of an empty room waiting for him to lie down and look at his ceiling, thinking about Harry, which has been happening almost every night since he moved in.

“Now I gotta go.” Niall smiles at her and kisses her cheek before he starts walking to the door.

He’s getting out of the place when he hears them, the flashes and the screaming, people calling his name and other people opening the door and making his way inside. Niall can’t help himself so he turns and stoles a glance. His hair is curlier and longer and looks just as soft as he remembers, Harry is wearing a green suit with a white tank top underneath and brown boots, he has sunglasses on in the middle of the night and his nails are black.

He looks nice, he looks incredibly handsome and for a second, it takes Niall’s breathe away, even if he’s a couple of meters away, getting closer to the company’s car Tara got for him to drive around London, even when he’s far apart he can almost feel him, his lips on his neck, his smiles on his cheeks and still hurts when it shouldn’t. They didn’t spend too much time together and the time they’ve been apart it’s the double they shared.

So Niall doesn’t understand and it frustrates him, which is the reason he’s distracted enough to not see Harry turn around and take his sunglasses off as if he felt Niall’s glance in the back of his neck, as if his body responses at Niall’s by the mere presence of each other in the same place, as if he craves Niall’s heart too. When he looks up, it finally hits Niall, he is in love with Harry.

Niall turns and walks directly to the car.

*

The next night, he is in his childhood room in Mullingar. His mom makes him a big dinner and forces him to watch the trailer with her again for what it feels the hundred times. Niall tries not to rush things, it’s been the first time he’s been home in four years and he wants to take it all in before he has to go back to London to start the press junket. So he is present, he leaves his phone in his room for most of the time, he helps his mom cooking and he goes with his father to fishing, he even goes to visit his brother.

Greg is divorced now, Theo is living with his mother and for what Niall can see, he is not taking it well. His flat is a mess and he forgets Niall was coming over so he makes him take a shower and takes him out for a beer and for a few hours Niall forgets about his life to focus on his brother for what it seems the first time in their story. Greg cries and Niall stays quiet as he hears how his marriage shattered into pieces and how Theo was in the middle of it all.

Niall finally sees a man instead of the asshole of a brother he used to have. Suddenly, everything they did to each other, everything they said is left aside. It seems like it has no importance, it never did. Greg doesn’t talk about the movie or the fact that Niall can pay for a place to live and buy him drinks, he just asks him if he wants to see Theo the next day and Niall nods because he would love that.

The next day, they both go fishing with his dad to later have breakfast in the market like the used to do on Sundays after their parents got divorced as well. After that, they picked Theo up, Niall kisses Denise’s cheek when they arrive and she congratulates him for the movie and they chat a bit before Greg clears his throat to gets them going.

And it’s a good day, a good week. His mother overfeeds him, his father overworks him and his brother overshares, his nephew, on the other hand, is just perfect. He has a lot of energy but is old enough to sit in the car and sing songs with his uncle as the drive around town and Niall wonders if he wants this at some point in his life, drive around Mullingar with his kid, going fishing in the mornings and having drinks with his school mates.

He checks his emails drinking his tea in his mother’s kitchen a Friday afternoon. Most of them are from Louis reminding him something in his schedule from when he comes back to London, other are notifications from Twitter or Instagram and just one that catches his attention, one popping at the top of his unread messages: Elena Stevens.

15:32

Hello, Niall.

Louis told me you are in Ireland at the moment, visiting your family. I hope you’re having a great time!

Please, when you arrive in London come to see me at my apartment, I have great news.

Elena.

He stares at the message a little longer than necessary and wonders if Harry got one of these too. And then, panic strikes. Did he do something wrong? Do they need him for retakes? Are they gonna fire him after all? It makes no sense worrying about it, he knows this, the message said great news, as well. So he replies saying he will call her as soon as he gets in town and leaves his phone on the table.

*

Harry Styles releases a song while Niall is in Mullingar, it’s called Lights up and he hears it the next day in his father’s truck as they drive to the market. He was laughing at something Mully said in the backseat to Deo when his name is pronounced by the radio host and then he stays quiet, trying to hear his voice in the middle of the conversation.

It’s a good song, of course, it is. It’s some kind of melodramatic rock balladry and has this part where his voice gets all high and it brings all kinds of unwanted memories. He listens to it a couple of times when they get back home like a teenager locked in his room with the earpods on and he feels ridiculous but he asks himself if this song was the reason he never called or even text. He sure hopes it wins a fucking Grammy.

His last night doesn’t go as well as the rest of the two weeks, he’s been home. He’s drinking with his friends and they’re chatting and yelling his name and for the first time, strangers start to come to him, people he has never met just hug him and take pictures of him and suddenly he wants to run home to sleep in his bed because he has come to his bar since he was eighteen, he has a record on the wall and a million stories to tell but at the same time the place looks completely different, he feels sick.

And maybe it is a sign –  not the good kind – when he sees Holly entering the bar at the exact same second Harry’s song starts playing and his whole body aches. She looks older but just as beautiful and his heart doesn’t race for her anymore it couldn’t after everything that happened, after everything she’s done but his heart races for the voice over his head, the base and the guitar loud in the bar as she looks at him and smiles. Niall wants to laugh because she’s biting her lips as she walks to him like she didn’t break his heart when they were sixteen like she never said she couldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t accomplish anything in his life like she didn’t ruin his best friend's life and move on with her life as if nothing ever happened.

She called him a loser and now she says hi, she says she has missed him when she told him she never wanted to see him again in her life, it’s funny how life works. He doesn’t believe her but she needs her as the song ends and the only thing he can see when he closes his eyes to kiss her is another pair of green eyes that he knows way too well by now.

He goes to her apartment that day and there’s only one thing in his mind, a phrase.

Do you know who you are?

*

Niall walks around Elena’s flat looking at the books on her shelf in the living room. She has some awards as well and Niall smiles with some kind of pride to it since the movie poster is frame right next to it. Niall is in the back of the picture but still big enough to be seen and it makes sense, Harry was always mean to be the front page man and he looks incredible doing so.

It’s difficult to escape from Harry or even ignore him when he sees his face everywhere he goes. He prepared himself to see him tonight in this little meeting but it’s been forty minutes and Elena is making tea for two so he doesn’t think he will be arriving any time soon. He hears her coming down the hallway and he turns to help her carry the tea and the biscuits she carries with her.

She tells him to sit on the couch as she sits in the chair in front of him and then she watches him drink his tea with a huge smile on her face.

“So…” he laughs, “Is everything okay?”

She claps and gets up from the chair to sit on the floor, only looking at Niall. They’re about the same age but it wasn’t until now that Niall stops thinking about her as some kind of boss.

“We were watching the last scene; you remember? Jonathan’s death?”

She sounds excited and Niall remembers that day. It was exhausting, full of rain, a mug, and fake blood. They wanted it to be the last scene to shoot in the movie because they wanted them to feel tired and sad and all kind numbness to film a death scene and it works because they only need one take and everyone was silent after that.

For Niall, it was different. He knew what he had with Harry was ending that day, just as he knew he had to shower after the death scene to go to a party where Harry would walk out of his life the same way he walked in, by force, without asking for permission and with a smile on his face. So when he held Harry in his arms that day as he pretended to die, a piece of his heart dyed with Jonathan too.

“I do.” He answers, reaching for a biscuit.

“Well, when we watched the footage, the camera kept rolling after calling cut and the second the scene ended, you look up to the camera with such rage and anger in your eyes, Niall. Your knuckles were white holding onto Harry’s coat.” She explains and her eyes shine, just like she was telling the best story she has heard in her life.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was doing that,” Niall starts apologizing, clearing his hands on his pants and moving awkwardly on the couch.

“It was perfect.” She interrupts him, placing her hand on his arm. “It gave an insight into the story I didn’t know it could have.”

She stands up then, telling him to wait for a second and then she disappears to the hallway again. Niall stands up and walks around the room. So they are reshooting some scenes? Does Harry know about this? Does he even have time to reshoot scenes? Probably not. He must be doing radio shows and traveling around the world promoting the single.

When Elena comes back, Niall has eaten all the biscuits remained out of pure anxiety. She makes him sit down again and put the bunch of paper she was holding under her arm. He sees the title on the white page: “Ways to Die” a sequel by Elena Stevens.

Niall opens his mouth multiple times but finally closes it when she tells him to read as she goes to the kitchen to make more tea and he does. He reads for three hours until is nighttime and Elena goes in and out of the room, seeing Niall process the hundred and fifty-nine pages of an unfished sequel that he has in his hands.

He can’t believe it. The story picks up six months after Jonathan’s death, Charlie has disappeared to prepare himself to find the people that Jonathan spent his whole like trying to kill to avenge his mother’s death. Charlie becomes a totally different person, he impersonates Jonathan for most of the book, making these people believe he is a ghost of some kind, wearing the coat Jonathan was shot in, playing tricks to appear have telekinetic powers and training to haunt them down. Niall is delated.

When he finally puts the pages down, Elena is sitting in front of him, covered with a blanket and drinking hot cocoa.

“I have planned to finish it by the end of the year,” she explains, and he nods. “We’ll announce the second book at the credits of the movie and start shooting the next year, what do you think?”

And again, Niall is speechless.

“Will Harry be in this one?” and that’s the only question that comes out of his mouth.

“We have to talk to him, we want him for some throwback scenes.” She says, moving her hands as she tries to draw whatever she has in mind. “We want you to keep the beard. It looks sexy.”

Niall laughs this time and rubs his hand on his jaw. He let the beard grow after they finished shooting and he’s starting to feel like himself again.

“The book is amazing, Elena,” He says laughing out of excitement and pure anxiety as she joins him.

“My editor loves it too,” she bites her lips and stands up, Niall knows it’s time to go home. “When Harry entered that room, he gave me back my story,” she says with a shy smile and Niall nods, “When you walked out of the set, you gave me a new one and I’m so grateful for that.”

He doesn’t know he’s tearing up until he hears her laugh and feels her hand on his cheeks, cleaning the tears on the side of his eyes.

“I gotta hit the gym if I wanna do all those things.” Niall laughs pointing at the manuscript over the table.

*

Louis is over the moon, so the concept of ‘not telling a single soul about the sequel’ is not applying very well to him and he decides to organize a secret “congratulation” party in Niall’s apartment. The good news is that it’s only a party for three – Eleanor, Tommo, and Niall himself –, there’s a lot of wine and soft music playing in the vinyl record player in the background at the corner of the living room and Niall feels already dizzy.

In a blink of an eye, it’s already December and the movie comes out in four months. Harry Styles’ album came out a week ago and somehow, Eleanor manages to get three tickets for a full concert presenting the album in London. Here they are after the concert, with a drunk Niall feeling completely stupid because Harry was still in love with someone else as he was making up with him in the middle of corridors in the studio, having Niall built up to ridiculous scenarios and expectations on his head, so what if he screamed “arrogant son of a bitch” at Harry with every bit of himself with the rest of the crowd.

“Why couldn’t we go backstage?” Eleanor asks for what it feels the thousandth time.  

“I told you, babe,” Louis says, drunkenly lying on the sofa. “Not everyone that makes movies together become friends.”

Eleanor pouts and pulls out her phone to play the same three songs that have come out so far and Niall doesn’t even flinch, he’s used to it by now.

“Rachel McAdams played Harry’s mom and he hasn’t even met her yet,” Niall says under his breath as he finished another glass of wine.

He stands up to pour another glass.

“How is it to kiss Harry Styles?” Eleanor asks behind him and he turns to see her.

She’s holding Louis’ head on her chest, running her long finger through his hair, mumbling melodies as he slowly falls asleep holding her waist. Niall’s heart shatters a little more and decided to take the whole bottle with him when he returns to the sofa.

“Nice,” he answers, drinking directly from the bottle, “really fucking nice.”

*

Niall goes back home for Christmas and New Year, by that time, the movie is already making some noise and people start to reach out to him, so he ignores them, he sticks to the same couple of people he sees every time he’s in Mullingar and gets drunk with his pops and his brother after giving Theo tons of gifts he brought from him.

He finds himself being quiet, more than usual. He holds his beer on his hand and hears his high school mates talk about how they do, what has changed, how Holly finally left town like she wanted and apparently, she’s doing fine since the last time Niall was there, and he doesn’t want to think about it – or about her –, he doesn’t really care but he gets this itchy feeling at the back of his neck when people mention her, so he drinks more.

The day after Christmas, he’s walking down to his house carrying the list of groceries his mom gave him to get for dinner on his arms when he sees it on a shelf in a library. It’s the book, a whole pile of it under the category “Best-seller”, but the cover is different is the movie poster and it reads ‘special edition’ in big golden cursive letters on the top of it. Niall stops in front of the showcase holding the three big paper bags almost covering his entire vision and he sees himself in the book, at the right side of Harry’s profile, wearing sunglasses and looking mysterious.

He smiles and bites his under lip because is pretty crazy. He used to buy all his school books and comics from his place and now his face is there for everyone to see. Niall looks around and decides to go inside, he shakes the snow over off his head and his shoulders as the bell rings, making the workers turn to see him for a second before continuing whatever they were doing.

He walks to the column of books he saw from the outside and tries to take one from the top but he can’t really do much when his arms are full. Now he feels a bit dumb when he told his mum he didn’t need to take the car to walk three blocks.

“Do you need help?” a soft voice asks behind him and he turns.

It’s a girl, a redhead. She can’t be older than sixteen and she’s wearing the blue apron with her name embroidered.

“Yes, Lizzie.” He reads, “Can you grab a copy for me?”

“Of course!” she smiles and takes a copy with her and walks to the register machine.

She is also a talker.

“Is it a gift?” she asks, “a little late for Christmas, huh?” she laughs and Niall lets her talk.

“Kind of,” Niall leaves her bags over the table next to the register and searches for his wallet as she scans the book. “Have you read it?”

“Oh, I love the book,” she turns the copy to face her and traces Harry’s profile with her index finger, Niall smiles and looks away. “This is the original version; you know?”

Niall turns his head to the side and she takes it as an invitation to explain herself.

“The story started off as a magical-mythical gay story but no one would buy Elena’s book so she had to change it, which is crazy because of today's times, right?” Niall nods, “but every time she talked about the book, she gave hints about the main character being a guy and it was all the fan blogs talked about until she confirmed it for the movie!”

“Oh, you are a fan,” Niall laughs.

“Am I being weird?” her green eyes wide open and she looks so scared.

“You’re okay,” Niall gives her his credit card and pays for the book.

“Do you want me to wrap it?” she asks returning the card and Niall looks at her for a second before nodding, why not.

“Are you excited about the movie?” Niall asks, testing the waters and suddenly, he feels terribly nervous.

“You know how they always say the movie is never as good as the book?” she asks him before disappearing from behind the corridor to get the wrapping paper, Niall assumes. He hums. “I have a good feeling with this one.”

She returns with two choices and Niall goes with the golden and white wrapping paper.

“Good choice,” she says and Niall can’t believe he’s actually relieved after the validation of a teenager. “Also!” she jumps and gets closer to the table as she’s gonna tell Niall a secret, “the guy playing Charles is from here! As from Mullingar!”  

“Oh, is he?” Niall starts moving his feet in circles but he doesn’t want to leave the store yet.

“Yes, that’s him,” she holds the book up to her face and points Niall in the picture and looks at him before frowning. “You kinda look like him.”

“Really?” Niall turns to the side so she will see his profile. “I don’t see it.”

“No, that’s Harry Styles! I’m talking about Niall Horan.” And this time, when Niall turns back to see her, she drops the book. “Oh my God.”

She whispers and Niall laughs.

“Oh my God.”

“Are you okay?” Niall stops laughing when she notices how red her face is turning.

“I’m so sorry- oh my,” she takes the book one more time and looks at the cover and then she looks at Niall, “It’s really you! You are playing Charles!”

Niall doesn’t really know what to do when she starts jumping around.

“Wait here, please.” She runs to the showcase and grabs one copy herself, getting the book out of the plastic and looking for a pen under the table and extend it to Niall, “would you sign this copy for me, please?”

So Niall does, he also leaves a little note laughing at himself because he never imagined he would be signing books as if he was a writer but he does and then he takes a picture with her and keeps nodding as she keeps thanking him. He leaves the store holding his three paper bags full of groceries and a new bag hanging from his arm carrying an unwrapped book.

*

He lays on the couch in front of the fireplace after dinner and takes the glass of wine his mom gives him when she lays on the sofa next to him with a book of her own and Niall looks at her for a second. She’s wearing the white sweater he brought her from London, her cheeks are already a bit red from the wine and she looks beautiful with her red nails turning the pages.

Maybe he is a little bit drunk too, but being home in her mom’s house, hearing his dad chatting with his stepfather in the kitchen as they clean the dishes and Greg looking for something to play in the vinyl collection makes his chest incredibly warm. So that’s how he opens the book, with a sloppy smile on his face and he reads in between wine sips and getting himself lost in Bruce Springsteen’s songs.

It’s not only until he feels his mom kissing his cheek and wishing him good night when he realizes all the lights are off and everyone is upstairs sleeping and he’s almost done with the book. He decides to read one more chapter before going to sleep. The book doesn’t change much, but there are things that are different, some scenes told in a different light, different dialogues, different touches, and kisses, and Niall knows is dumb and senseless, but he reads the book seeing Harry’s face, wishing he could touch him and kiss him one last time.

He’s having breakfast two days after when he gets a text from an unknown number.

It’s a picture of the book with the movie poster on it and a cat sleeping over someone’s leg holding the book.

“Look what I found in my hometown’s library! I hope you’re having a jolly time! – H.”

Niall stares at the text for quite some time because his dad has to call his name twice to asks if he wanted milk with his tea, he shakes his head and put his phone on his pockets and eats a plain toast.

He had his number all this time and he never called.

*

New Year goes by way too quickly and suddenly, Niall is in a hotel room in New York with outfit options left by Ellie on the bed to wear in his first-ever press junket day. It is the first week of February and Louis has been going over and over the two-month press junket schedule for the last two weeks. They’re going to do some – a lot – interviews in the hotel, some radio shows and appearances in four talk shows before going to Mexico, Korea, Germany and finally London for the premiere.

Niall was anxious about this part of the job. He’s good with people when he is not overthinking things and now, he’s overthinking everything. He takes a couple of pauses a day to breathe and remind himself that this is bigger than him and he cannot fuck this up. He chooses a grey sweater a plaid pair of pants to match and opens the door to Sienree so she can do his hair.

He’s also being anxious about Harry. After he didn’t reply to his text, he’s been the only thing on his mind and he’s not ready to see him, but it doesn’t really matter. He’ll be seeing him in less than an hour because they have to do everything together from the next two months. So he eats the breakfast left in the table as he lets Sienree do her thing and takes the coffee with him to the room assigned to the interviews of the day.

Niall gets there first and chooses the chair at the left facing the cameras. He doesn’t feel Harry comes in until he sits right next to him and he almost chokes on the coffee he’s drinking. Niall starts coughing and tries to ignore how his arm is rubbing against his but it’s difficult when Harry taps his back, trying to calm him down.

“Are you okay?” he asks with that raspy voice of his, “I keep scaring you, huh?”

Niall doesn’t have time to answer because the reporter comes in with a huge smile on her face and Harry stands up to greet her, so he does the same.

She only has ten minutes with them and she spends the first five talking about Harry’s new album and the rumors about his ex and Niall doesn’t know where to look or what to do with his hands so he just crosses over his knees and looks at Harry until he hears her say her name.

“You are really supportive of each other, right?” She asks looking at Niall and he blinks, surprised a question was actually address to him, “You were in the listening party, weren’t you Niall?”

And this woman must follow Eleanor in her private Instagram to know this because he didn’t see this coming, ever. This time is Harry who turns his whole body to his direction and looks at him, waiting for him to answer.

“Yes,” he says with a smile, keeping up with the conversation, “one of my best friends is a huge Harry fan so we went over.”

“Did you have fun?” Harry asks looking at him like there’s no one else in the room. “I forgot to ask that night with all the commotion.”

Niall turns to him and sees how Harry is trying to hide the surprise of his face under that cheeky smile. “You know I did.”

“3 minutes.” They heard from one of the producers behind them.

“So… the movie!”

Harry talks about the plot and Niall laughs along in the right moments and just like that, the first interview is done, eighteen more to go until lunch.

“You didn’t come to say hi,” Harry says the moment the woman leaves the room.

Niall laughs. “That’s rich coming from you.”

He finishes his cold coffee from one sip without even looking at Harry.

“What are you talking about?”

He’s very grateful for the man that enters the room. Niall stands up to greet him and rushes to start the next interview. And he performs, he laughs with Harry, he shares little touches and answers the few questions he gets after they’re done with Harry’s album and have left only two minutes to ask about their roles, the book, and the movie.

When the interviewers leave, he goes back to ignore Harry like he has been doing for the last year. Harry handles it for five interviews before he breaks after some blogger leaves the hotel room.

“So we’re back from scratch?” Harry asks highly irritated.

“Why you care?” Niall finally meets his eyes.

“What are you mad about now?” Harry asks as if he was the one that was supposed to be mad, “what did I do?”

“Are you for real?”

*

“How can you not love that face!” Harry squalls, taking Niall’s face with both hands. “A cute little cherub,” he tights up his hold and Niall smiles as big as he can. “He’s Irish, did you know?”

“Yes, I did,” the woman in front of them laughs and Harry lets Niall’s face go.

“Your time is up.” Harry’s publicists say from behind the cameras and the reporter visibly pouts.

“It was a pleasure, guys.” She stands up and shakes both of their hands.

“Likewise,” Niall replies and finally sits down when she leaves.

“Lunchtime.” Someone screams at the back and Niall could cry of happiness.

This bickering with Harry has been going on for hours now and Niall is afraid the hostility may be going through the screens at this point. They’re being way too sarcastic and even if Niall is enjoying it, they could actually be hurting themselves more than they realize.

Louis walks in looking at his phone and he stands next to Niall, maybe waiting for him to get up so they could go grab a bite together, so that’s what Niall does, he stands up but Louis is not moving yet. He sends a text and directs his eyes to Harry.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hi, Louis,” Harry replies, taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Jeff texted me, I’m gonna get the two of you some lunch, let’s go.”

Niall stares at Louis in disbelieve. Whose team is he on?

“I don’t need a babysitter,” Harry says looking at Niall. “I can order something in my room.”

“Just walk.” And with that, Louis walks out of the room, leaving both Niall and Harry staring at his back.

*

They sit at a table in the hotel’s restaurant because they only have an hour and a half to eat and no energy to actually move from the building. Niall and Harry order in silence, sitting at opposite ends of the table with Louis in between as a mediator. He’s still on his phone, looking like a real agent and it’s almost funny how he got this job by accident, as a joke even and now he has dedicated his time and effort to Niall in a way that leaves him speechless. There will never be words to express how grateful he is for having a friend like Louis.

He finishes whatever he’s doing and turns off his phone, leaving it over the table as they wait for the food. It’s awkward to say at least. They’re just sitting there, looking at each other and not saying anything until Louis clears his throat and makes them turn to see him.

“It has been brought to my attention by the people putting in and out the mics from you, that you have been fighting all morning.” Niall looks at Harry to find the expression he’s sure he has on his own face.

The fear of being caught, like they’re just kids that have been hiding in their parent’s garage after being called for dinner way too many times. Eyes wide open, lightly blushing as they play with their fingers over the table.

“What the fuck is going on with you two? I thought you buried the ax.” Louis says, looking between them as he was watching a tennis match.

“So did I,” Harry answers at the other side of the table, leaning his head to the side acting all confused as he doesn’t know what he has done, making Niall look bad, making him even angrier.

But Niall can’t say anything to defend his childish behavior, can he? He never told Louis about them or their thing going on filming, he never told him about how Harry promised to call and never did and how he kept waiting and waiting even though he knew he would have ended up heartbroken like a fool. Louis doesn’t need to know that because he has enough on his plate and he has been there for Niall to cry too many times, this is the part he deserves, he bit where he gets to be successful and Louis gets to enjoy it.

So he decides to bury himself even deeper.

“He just acts like we’re best friends,” Niall says, looking down at his hands to avoid looking a Harry. “You know I don’t like that.”

“I thought we were friends,” Harry whispers, hurt.

We were way more than that, Niall thinks and it hurts him more.

“Well, that’s stupid, Niall.” Louis sounds angry and Niall gets it, he’s acting like a kid.

But at that moment the food arrives and Louis can’t lecture him like he’d like, so he just waits for the waitress to be done, he thanks her and then takes his knife and the fork on his hands.

“You’re gonna get along for the rest of the two months if you don’t wanna fuck this movie up, after that, you can kill each other for all I care.” And then, Louis starts to eat.

Niall looks up, to find Harry and his stupid salad staring at him, a blank expression on his face but he can see behind all that, how his dead eyes are actually grievous in a way that he doesn’t really understand. Why is he upset? Why is he offended that Niall can’t forget what they did so easily?

Harry shakes his head and stabs the vegetables with the fork so Niall starts eating too, in silence.

*

The rest of the day goes by like a really painful summer drought in Los Angeles, asphyxiating and hopeless. Harry is a good actor, Niall knew that but after a bunch of interviews, even himself could believe they were inseparable all this time. They don’t talk much in between setups and interviews, they also don’t complain when they learn about the team dinner at the end of the day, they just move along. They go to their room to change; Niall decides to take a second in the shower wondering if this is worth all the effort.

Yes, he is mad but there’s no really anything to do about it. Shit happens, relationships – or things – happen and people move on. He should’ve already moved on. Indifference sucks, hypocrisy sucks and wanting someone who doesn’t want you the same way sucks. But Niall is a grown man, he shouldn’t be reacting this way, especially when it can hurt a project that involves more people, a project that’s loved and anticipated. He stays there under the water for a bit realizing he has to talk to Harry tonight, maybe even apologize and bite his tongue to not say everything in his mind for the movie’s sake.

He buttons up his white shirt and puts his phone on the back pocket of his black pants and leaves the room.

They go to a nice restaurant in Brooklyn this time. It’s a good night, everyone is excited and the lights are low. Rachel McAdams sits next to him and Niall tries to play it cool, which is easy when someone is as sweet as she is. Harry is sitting next to Chloé and she keeps whispering on his ear, maybe talking about the sequel and the next book that’s coming in June, but he seems fine, he’s smiling and laughing and telling stupid jokes. For some reason, it warms Niall’s chest, they didn’t have much time together but it was good while it lasted. So Niall drinks whatever wine they put in front of him looking at Harry for the rest of the night. It’s around one in the morning when he starts feeling dizzy and blushy and he’s laughing about something Rachel said but now can’t remember.

He feels Harry’s eyes on him but he doesn’t turn around, he knows he’s a mess, his shirt half open and his hair everywhere after touching it all night. People talk to him from all directions and Niall lost sight of Louis about two hours ago but it doesn’t seem important at the moment, he’s having a great time, a breath of fresh air in the middle of the drought.

Niall’s eyes skip to Harry’s direction only to find an empty chair. He waits for him to come back from the restroom but after minutes he realizes Harry left and so did Niall’s predisposition of having a good time for the rest of the night, so he kisses Rachel’s cheek saying goodbye to everyone. He hugs Chloé and asks her about her day as he gets up to get his coat, she only answers because she’s getting up with him and they walk to the door together but she has a car waiting for her and Niall hasn’t even called an uber yet.

He walks her to the car and closes the door to later pull out her phone and wait for his car to arrive. It’s cold in New York, it’s February and there’s still snow in the streets. He closes his eyes and feels the wind kissing his cheeks. He didn’t speak to Harry the whole night and he knows he should have but he’s also aware he avoided him sitting too far from him in dinner. Now he has to wait until tomorrow to start over.

The uber driver doesn’t talk for the duration of the ride and Niall is grateful for the silence. His battery has run out and he only has the energy to close his eyes and lean his head to the window to see the reflection of the light on his closed eyelid. He asks for his key in reception and takes the elevator. He opens his eyes the moment the doors open and he expects everything but seeing Harry at his door, his back lean against the wall next to the door, one leg up and his phone on his hands.

When he looks up, Niall can see he’s pissed. Not as drunk as Niall, but way more upset. His eyes are red, his hair is a mess and his rings seem to shine from the distance. The elevator’s door starts to close again, but Niall steps out, walking through the hall to his room, to Harry.

“What are you doing here?” Niall asks and only then he realizes how tired he is, of everything.

“We need to talk,” Harry says, his voice as plain as the expression on his face.

“It’s late Harry, we should sleep.” Niall takes the key on his hand and walks to the door. “We can talk tomorrow.”

“No,” Harry puts himself in between Niall and the door and he sighs. “Now. Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you and even when you’ve been treating me like shit all day, I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.”

And Niall has been trying to be good, to be patient and eat all his feeling up but Harry doesn’t get to say that when he has done nothing to see him or even talk to him.

“Stop, okay?” Niall says, finally looking at him in the eyes. “Stop acting like you care about me.”

For some reason, that’s like a bucket of cold water thrown at Harry.

“Niall, you are not listening to my words.” Harry steps in, getting closer to him but Niall moves aside.

“Harry, go to your room. I’m gonna open that door and go to bed so we can pretend this didn’t happen.”

“Open the door so we can talk inside,” Harry says instead, but Niall doesn’t move, so he takes the key from his hands and lets himself into the room, leaving Niall standing in the middle of the hall.

He takes a couple of deep breathes and walks in. Harry is sitting in the table near the window, Niall takes out his shoes and coat and leaves in the corner of the bed.

“You didn’t call,” Niall finally says letting the air leave his lungs, “you promised and I waited and you never called.”

“I lost your number,” Harry starts but Niall laughs.

“You just texted me for Christmas.” He sits on the bed, on the edge near Harry but he doesn’t look at him.

“You know why I didn’t call,” Harry says and Niall looks at him, his expression starts to change and now he looks confused. “You don’t know.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” Niall smiles looking at his hands.

“It’s not like you tried to reach me anyway,” Harry says putting his arms on knees, leaning closer to Niall.

“The cards were on your table, Harry,” Niall snorts, “you went out to finish your album or whatever. We never really stand a chance.”

Harry frowns and takes Niall’s hands in his. “Niall-”

But he stands up and puts his hands on his hips. He can feel Harry’s eyes on his back but he doesn’t turn around.

“We don’t really need this right now.” He says, “I’m busy, you are very busy.”

“You don’t even want to try,” Harry whispers and now he’s standing right behind him. Niall shivers, Harry can feel it but he moves before he can touch him.

“No, I don’t,” Niall says opening the door.

Harry sighs in defeat and walks slowly to him.

“Goodnight, Niall.” He places his hand on Niall’s cheek and gently kisses him on the lips before leaving.

*

The next morning things are easier; it hurts a little less and Niall can also feel it healing somehow. The conversations are easygoing, the laughs are more genuine and the glances are softer. It’s better and Niall can finally smile at something Harry says without feeling guilty or irritated. They have lunch and dinner together without the awkward silence and the tension over their heads.

They catch up in what they’ve been up to avoid the fact that they have hurt each other in some way. Niall tells Harry about what he’s read of the second book since he just signed for the next movie and knows nothing about it. The day goes by quicker and Niall feels like the next two months are not going to be as bad as he thought.

So he doesn’t expect his door to be knocked at the end of the day after he has showered and is laying on his bed watching some cable movie. He doesn’t expect it to be Harry once he opened the door, he doesn’t expect him to see him crying with his swollen eyes and red nose, the dry tears on his cheeks or the trembling lips, he also doesn’t expect him to grab his neck and kiss him as if it was the last thing he could do before the world ends.

Niall can’t explain what happens next, he only knows Harry closed the door with his foot and then he’s taking his shirt off and kissing his neck. Niall wants to ask if he’s okay, he wants to know why is he crying but he has the feeling Harry won’t talk about it, so he kisses him back and helps him undress. He knows this is not right, he knows they shouldn’t be doing this, at least is not the way he imagined it but right now he can’t think of a reason not to, especially when his back hits the mattress and Harry goes down on him.

He wants to keep his eyes open and engrave the picture of Harry between his legs at the back of his mind one last time but he can’t, it’s all too much too fast so he just closes his eyes and buries his fingers in Harry’s hair. And he feels everything, the kisses and bites on his hips, his fingers on his butt cheeks pressed so hard he can already feel the bruises and his mouth. Oh, his beautiful mouth.

“Niall,” Harry whispers as he gets on the top him, kissing his tummy, his arms, licking his neck.

He just nods and that’s all Harry needs.

Niall tries to distract himself to not think of how good he feels. It’s been a long time and the last time he had sex, he doesn’t even remember it, he doesn’t want to either. But he tries, he tries to remember a better lover, a better kisser, a better taste, a better pair eyes or a better smile but he can’t, so he lets himself hold Harry closer and pull his hair, he allows himself to bite his lobe and make him moan, he lets himself look at his eyes when he enters him and he can feel the tears falling down his cheeks so he closes his eyes when Harry kisses the tears away.

He goes slow first, mumbling things in his ear neither of them understands, holding his hands over his head and biting his lips. Niall can’t speak, his brain melts and the only thing he can do is open his mouth and look at the ceiling hoping it doesn’t fall over them. Harry goes faster as he gets closer to come and Niall holds him when he lets his hands go and finally falls on his chest.

His breathing is heavy but so is Niall’s, he takes the hair out of his face and wraps his legs around his waist and they fall asleep like that.

*

Niall wakes up to find a naked Harry holding him from behind. He slowly unwraps his arms around his waist and goes to the shower and leaves the room before he could wake up.

He needs to think. Step aside for a bit and get his mind around what happened last night. They talked, they understood each other and then, they fucked. Niall goes to the hotel’s gym to burn some of the energy left, they don’t have interviews till three in the afternoon so Niall can make something from the free time.

He must have been there for at least two hours when someone gets in the treadmill next to him.

“Are you running from me already?”

Niall turns to his right to find Harry running with a towel around his neck.

“Was that a pun?” Niall asks, taking the other earbud out.

Harry smiles, looking down at the machine as he speeds it up.

“I didn’t want to wake you up,” Niall says instead. “Do you want to talk about what happen last night?”

Harry’s smile fades and he shakes his head looking at the mirror wall in front of them.

“Okay, then.”

*

They fall in a vicious circle after that, sleeping together, going from one room to the other from New York to L.A.; going out in Mexico, kissing in clubs as if no one knew who they were, fucking in the plane to Korea, disguising themselves to walk in the streets of Germany, which was funny because Harry was very paranoid about everything. Somehow, in-between Korea and Germany, they reach the same point they were when they were filming the movie and Niall knows how this goes, he can recognize the signs.  

The recognizes the silence Harry falls in after they’re chatting for a bit, he recognizes the zones out looking at the wall in front of him as he keeps playing with Niall’s hair when they lay on the bed but he feels it coming when Harry storms into his room to kiss him and do just that, hold his face standing in the middle of the room, kissing him until their lips start to feel numb. He recognizes when he gets sad out of the blue or stops talking midsentence, he feels it when their hugs last longer than usual but are not as warm.

He also can see the sign he’s falling in love, again. Niall recognizes the little tells from the time he thought he was in love before, the way his heart skips a bit when Harry smiles at him like it used to happen with Holly when he was eighteen, how he blushes when Harry kisses his cheeks like when he was briefly dating Barbara before she got that modeling contract, or how his body warms up with excitement when Harry kisses him like those first times with Connor but there also things he has never felt before, like how Harry leaves him breathless when he whispers on his ear or touches his thighs, how his neck goes red when bites his lobe and how his chest hurts from laughing so hard.

Niall wishes he wouldn’t fall so easily but then again, maybe it’s Harry who makes it easy. Maybe it’s his smile, his touch, his lips. And he knows he’s heading to a broken heart, again, but he can’t stop himself, he doesn’t want it. He just lets his clothes hit the floor and he falls on his knees on the bed. It’s easier, it’s better.

They’re in a bath in Germany when it occurs to him. Harry is washing his back and kissing his neck, giving him goosebumps and make him close his eyes when he thinks about it. A gift, for Harry, to make him remember the time they have spent together, to let him know he doesn’t regret it, he just wishes he could hold on to it a little longer. He needs to call Eleanor before they go to London for the premiere and then Harry has to disappear to start his tour.

Harry’s phone rings and he tense up behind him. It’s not only until he sees the number that he gets out of the bath and answer the phone call in the room. Niall doesn’t think about it, they’re not there anyway, they won’t be. Instead, he calls Eleanor and asks her where can he get a custom made necklace, it’s for his mum, he says.

By the time Harry returns to the bathroom, Niall has already ordered the gift to be delivered at Louis’ flat and given Eleanor the heads up to hold it for him until he gets home. Harry is fully dressed when Niall turns to see him.

“Sienree is about to come in, get dress.” He says and leans down to kiss Niall on the lips. “Last event before London.”

And somehow, it sounds like a goodbye.

In London, they do BBC’s and Graham Norton’s interviews the two days before premiere night and the city seems to be buzzing for both of them. Everyone is talking about it. Everyone is talking about Niall since the movie has already been out in Korea and South America for three days now. Niall hasn’t seen it yet but his social media is blowing up, he has around five million followers on Instagram and his mentions have been going crazy since Harry appears in the back of one of his stories for less than a second.

Niall has gotten better at interviews; people seem to enjoy him. They laugh and play along, they have learned to resume the plot with key sentences and not give away anything important for the people who haven’t read the book. They talk about Ireland, their families, and Harry’s album and upcoming tour, they make Niall do accents since he did it for Jimmy Fallon and people seem to love it and now he has to do it in almost every radio station.

But it’s good, it’s a great laugh and Harry loves it, he also tries and miserably fails to do it but he’s too cute for anyone to tell him something. People also comment about their chemistry for what they can see from the trailer and the movie clips out there and they joke around with it, they sit closer and put their arms around each other before bursting into laughter and talk about the movie.

They also have been sleeping apart. In their respective houses, which makes it easier: saying goodbye and end it.

Niall flies his mom and dad to the premiere and has a car pick them up to get them to the hotel where everyone is getting ready to go to Trafalgar Square for the main event. He’s wearing a nice Paul Smith’s navy suit and is the middle of buttoning up his shirt when someone knocks his door, he’s checking his phone when he walks to open it and fins Eleanor wearing a beautiful black dress holding the box he’s been waiting all week.

“We need to talk,” she says, handing it to him.

“You opened it,” Niall says, putting his phone on his pocket and finishing button up his shirt to take the velvet blue box.  

“Of course I opened it!” she walks into his room and sits on the bed. “Now… how long you and Harry have been sleeping together.”

Niall rolls his eyes and checks the time on his watch.

“I don’t have time for this,” he says palming his pockets, trying to mentally check all the to-do things on his list. “See you there.” He takes the jacket on the back of the chair and puts it on, with that, he disappears down the hall, looking for Harry’s room.

It doesn’t take too long to finds it, he knew which one was anyway so he just knocks and waits for Harry to open. And he does, a few seconds later but Niall has to hide the gift on the inside of his jacket when he sees the girl inside Harry’s room, talking to Jeff.

“Holly?” he asks, making both of them turn and then he looks at Harry whose eyes are wide open and his hand grabs the door frame, as he could hide the people behind him as if it matters now.

Niall removes his arm and walks in.

Holly is wearing a red dress and has her hair up in a ponytail. She looks good, she has always looked good, that’s one of the reasons Niall fell so hard for her when they were in school.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, looking at Harry.

“I asked to be here,” she says with the most annoying smile on her face. “I wanted to watch the movie.”

“I don’t understand,” he repeats to Harry but he doesn’t say anything, he’s not even looking at him.

“Yeah, right.” Is Jeff who talks and he sounds mad.

“Jeff-” Harry is the one speaking now, stepping in between Niall and his agent.

“You’re gonna tell me now he doesn’t know shit.”

“He doesn’t.” Harry and Holly say at the same time.

“Your friend here has been blackmailing Harry for the last eight months,” Jeff says over Harry’s shoulder and that feels like being hit by a truck. “She has conversations, voice notes, pictures.”

“What?” He is looking at her now and remembers the things he heard the last time he was in Ireland, how she got a new car and a flat in London out of nowhere and Niall feels sick. “How? How fucking dare you?” he’s not having it anymore.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that,” she goes pass Harry and starts pointing Niall in the chest. “You humiliate me!”

Niall frowns because he can’t think for a moment any situation where that could have happened.

“When?! If I’m remembering correctly, you were the one who called me a loser in front of everyone in school and told me I will never accomplish anything in my life after I asked you to move with me to Los Angeles.” He reproaches her forgetting there are other people in the room.

“The night we went back to my place, you called me Harry and then you called a fucking cab.” She says without missing a beat. Niall can feel his neck turning red. “You fell asleep waiting for it. Your phone code is the same after all these years.”

“Holly.” He takes her by the arm but she brushes him off quickly.

He has to fix this. He can’t let this happen. Niall can see everything now, he understands. The reason Harry didn’t call, why he was so angry at him, how his mood changes so quickly and can’t bear to look at him for too long. He’s starting to struggle to breathe and the walls seem to get closer and closer. He can’t have a panic attack now, no when he’s alone in this room and Louis is not close enough to calm him down, he can’t show more weakness in front of Holly.

So breathes, in and out like the thousands of therapists have told him to do and look at Harry’s back, stopping Jeff from coming to him.

“You’re gonna end this now,” Niall’s words tremble out of his mouth. “Or I’ll tell Sean what really happened in that farmhouse the summer of our senior year.”

Holly’s face went pale as she remembers the one thing Niall swore never talk about again. He promised because he was in love with her and then he kept the promise because it would ruin Holly’s life and he didn’t want that. Now, things have changed and he can easily go home and tell Sean she’s the one who pushed him down the cliff when they were drunk the night of the bonfire, she’s the reason he can’t walk anymore and why he couldn’t close that contract with the football team interested in him. Holly was already eighteen and it has not been ten years yet. Sean can take legal action if he wanted and they both know he does.

“You can’t.” she shakes her head. “No one will believe you.”

“I think they will.” He puts his hands on his pockets. “Sean was my best friend, Holly. I should’ve known at that moment you would ruin everything and everyone that comes close to you.”

She swallows and fixes her dress, finally, she nods.

“Okay, I’ll leave.” She’s walking to the door but Niall steps in front of her to stop her.

“You will also return the car and the flat.” Niall stands his hand and sees her eyes fill up with hatred, but she doesn’t say anything, she opens her purse and puts both sets of keys before leaving the room.  

After a couple of seconds of the three of them staring at each other, Jeff runs out of the room chasing Holly down the hallway.

“What just happened?” Harry asks when they are the only ones in the room.

“Small towns have dark secrets, Harry.” Niall smiles from the side and sits on the chair near the door. “You should’ve told me.” He covers his face with his hands and rubs his closed eyes.

Harry takes the hands out of his face. “We didn’t know if you were on it,” he apologizes and Niall nods.

“And yet, you came to my room that night,” Niall looks up to find Harry duck down in front of him, “why?”

He smiles, lovingly. “Because I can’t stay away from you.” Niall shakes his head. “I never know who to trust but with you, I didn’t care-”

Niall kisses him. It’s been urging him to do it from the moment he got the necklace from Eleanor that’s now burning him in his jacket so he pulls away to look at Harry and clear his throat.

“I came here because I wanted to give you something.” Harry frowns, waiting for him to continue. “It’s silly now, but-” he pulls out the velvet box from inside his jacket. “I wanted you to have something from me, even if this thing we have going on ends here or-”

Harry opens the box and sees the neckless. It’s a golden guitar pick with the initials of the movie and date of the premiere on one side and Niall’s initials on the other. It’s long and not too big like the ones he has seen Harry wear lately. He looks at it longer than Niall is conformable with and he can feel his cheeks blushing but he can’t move, not when Harry is holding one of his hands and he uses the other to put the necklace over his head and fall where the butterfly tattoo is covered but that silky shirt with the Gucci suit.

“I love it,” Harry says, holding the guitar pick in his fingers. “I love you.” Then he looks up and Niall’s mouth open to speak but Harry kisses him before he could say anything like he’s afraid he won’t say it back so Niall pulls him away one more time.

“I love you too.”

*

Niall was never hyperaware of his own body until this very moment. Flashes coming from every direction, lots of voices yelling his name and asking him to turn to them and he just has Louis’ voice in his head: “I don’t know, smile?”. He pulls his hands in and out of his pockets, he smiles and looks at every side he can as he walks down the red carpet, so he’s distracted when Harry walks to him looking like he owns the place, making finger gun at everyone and grabbing Niall by the waist to they can take some pictures together.

He has brought his family too. Niall met Anne and Gemma in the reception of the hotel just the same way Harry met Bobby and Maura, the only difference is that Harry whispered and his sister’s ear the fact that they were fucking before following Bobby for a beer at the hotel’s bar and leaving Niall there to answer all of Gemma’s questions.

They have decided to try, at least that’s what Harry said in between kisses on their way over as he tried to pull Niall together before walking in for the photos. They also decided to keep it down at first but Harry whispering into Niall’s ear and grabbing his ass, making him laugh so the paparazzi can take their shots is not exactly what Niall had in mind for a low profile. People will talk, at least he hopes if they do it at least it's about the movie as well.  

Once inside, the actors get together for some last shots with the director and the producers, Elena runs to them and hugs them before saying she will be sending a copy of the manuscript for both of them before the final check with her editorial. She promises surprises before all of them walk into the room of the screening to answer some questions and play the movie.

Harry and Niall sit together, the movie is over two hours and has an extra scene and the realized date of the second book, ‘Ways to Die’, at the end which makes some people scream at the back and Niall laughs because he has never felt excitement like this before. People clap and Niall cries a little when the lights come one so he can see some faces. Anne and Gemma are crying because they just saw Harry died in front of them but Harry tells them he is not actually dead and they laugh, and Niall smiles when he sees them and smiles when his mom hugs him and tells him how amazing he was. Bobby has his eyes red and doesn’t say much, he just hugs Niall and kisses his forehead.

When Niall looks back he sees Harry looking at him and he doesn’t think he has been this happy before.

*

Niall goes to the premiere in Los Angeles and sees his friends there, he goes out for a beer and for the first time, he has to leave the place because of the commotion he causes. Harry couldn’t be there, it’s been a week and his tour already started. He’s somewhere in Europe when Niall calls him to tell him they’re the number one movie in America and the UK but he doesn’t really care, he just asks him if he missed him. The answer is always yes.

He’s booking again and scripts are now being sent to him. The reviews are good and Niall tries not to think about all the aspects on their favor for this movie and lets himself have a moment of satisfaction. He did a good job; he gets to enjoy it now. So he goes home when he’s done in America and calls Harry every night after the show and until he gets to England and then, he will follow him around like a groupie.

Things are good, way too good and they’re both having trouble accepting that this may be the new normal. It’s too easy, it feels great and nothing seems to be against them, except the fact that only a few people know about them but there’s time and they are still figuring things out as they go but Harry is putting everything from his part, he has open up and hope for the best, he has trust Niall and all he can do is take it. Piece by piece, secret by secret, moment by moment and they’ll be ready someday, to tell everyone and hope they won’t react like Louis did, screaming and punching Niall in the arm because how dare he waited so long to tell him.

But they don’t wait too long to tell their families because it’s too easy, Anne knew right after the premiere when Gemma couldn’t keep the secret another hour and Niall had to tell his parents the next week because Anne couldn’t wait to have a proper dinner as soon as Harry lands in London. So they do, they eat at Harry’s place after the concert and Niall may be a bit drunk when he rests on Harry’s chest and sees his mother talk to Anne and Gemma while his dad is having a conversation with Harry and his sister’s boyfriend. And he was wrong, that day at the premiere, this is the happiest he has ever been.

*

Harry has a week off before he has to go to America for that leg of the tour and then finish in South America, so they’re in Niall’s apartment and he’s helping him reading some line but he got bored in after forty minutes and now he’s just looking for excuses to kiss Niall when the bell rings and Niall looks at Harry as if he was expecting someone. Harry shakes his head and shrinks so he has to stand up and get the door.

It’s a box from Elena and Niall remembers the manuscript.

“Ok, don’t open it yet, I’m gonna bring you wine and grab a beer.” He leaves the box on the sofa and disappears into the kitchen.

It’s been fifteen minutes when he hears Harry scream.

“Niall, I’m not dead!” he runs to the kitchen with the book opens in the middle, “Jonathan is immortal!”

“For fuck’s sake, Harry!”

[all-hail-the-witcher]

really funny and stupid soulmate au request: whatever your soulmate is singing, you automatically join them in a duet wherever you are (any ship is good)

okay full disclaimer, I have n o i d e a what this is, the words just kinda happened and its really memey but somehow works ??

_______

ship: ralbert

genere: meme floof with a side of theater nerds

warnings: mikeys dog, too many bill wurtz references, comrades, an obscene amount of winking, Albert is a disaster lighting technician and race has no respect for lighting gels, high school musical

words: 1832 wat

editing: nah comrade

_______

If anyone knew anything about Albert it was that he always carried a packet of rosemary in his left pocket “in case he ran out of weed,” that he was trying to get excommunicated from the catholic church “just for lols,” and that he hated high school musical. The last one was particularly damning because all of his friends were theater nerds. (Albert prefered to yell at all of them from the lighting booth and assert his dominance by randomly having people shine the spotlight into the wings where people made out during rehearsal.) He had even gone as far to ban the soundtrack from ever being sang in his presence. Spot said his unrequited hatred for the movies were directly related to the fact that he had not yet found his soulmate and he didn’t like them because it portrayed love he had not yet found, but Albert loudly disagreed saying that the plots were merely just “shit on a stick.”

Cue Racetrack Higgins, the hot new kid in town.

When he showed up to the audition for the school musical, some dumb title that Albert hadn’t taken the time to note (he only had two brain cells and one of them was reserved for figuring out where he was gonna get his weed from and the other was reserved for coming up with new ways to get excommunicated), he had not expected to see a literal angel.

Alright so maybe it wasn’t an angel. Rather, a blonde kid who looked kinda vaguely like a beanpole. And quoting Bill Wurtz. Couldn’t forget that.

The ethereal beanpole had introduced himself after a particularly memorable incident about ten minutes before the audition started. Somehow, he had ended up on the catwalk holding a stack of painstakingly organized gels over the edge as if he were about to drop them.

Now, Albert was not the most organized lighting technician and he did enjoy a bit of mischief every now and then, but only if he was the one pulling the mischief. Plus, he had just organized all the gels and didn’t want to do that again. He’d much rather hide Spot’s keys in the janitor’s closet. So he did the natural thing.

“HEY BEANPOLE! IF YOU DROP THOSE I WILL CUT OFF YOUR HAIR AND FEED IT TO THE SPIDER IN THE BROOM CLOSET!”

The kid’s head snapped up. But, instead of looking like a squirrel about to be chased by a hungry seal shaped pitbull that smelled vaguely of thai food and cheese like the freshman did, the boy winked mischievously and let the gels dangel further over the edge. Then, in a singsong voice that Albert could only describe as the one belonging to his true Lord and Savior, Bill Wurtz (take that catholic church), said: “how bout I do anyway?”

Albert’s next insult died on his lips and he settled instead for glaring at the sexy beanpole with all the power of a pissed off techie.

“What?” The boy pouted, “can’t think of a good comeback?”

“Listen beanpole-”

“It’s Race.”

“Whatever.” Albert stomped down the catwalk in his black timbs, being sure to make as much noise as possible in order to attract the scattered actors below them. “Let it be known that while I did appreciate your history of japan quote, I do not appreciate your presence on my cat walk. And, if you to continue to dangle my gels over the edge like that, I will make sure you never get cast in Wanda’s World-”

“Its Animal Farm.”

“-and that you never get your clammy little paws on a single ounce of weed during your time in this hellhole. Capisce?”

“Weed is for losers,” Race said, thwacking the pile of gels on the catwalk with a muffled bang, scattering the top ones, much to Albert’s dismay. “I prefer vape myself, much more sleek and trendy.” Then, much to Albert’s surprise, he winked, turned on his heel, and exited the catwalk, tipping an imaginary hat before descending the stairs back down into the auditorium.

“Well fuck him right in the nipple,” Albert cursed to himself as he scooped up the pile of gels and stalked back to the lighting booth where he threw them unceremoniously on the ground - he’d sort back through them later. Instead, he sat on his beloved spinny chair that he had stolen from his history teacher back in 9th grade, wrapped the blue fuzzy blacket around himself he’d stolen from Spot last year, threw his feet up on the lightboard, and resolved himself to watching the auditions.

Race, apparently, had been correct, the musical was a rendition of Animal Farm. Although, why someone would write a musical version of a book about a bunch of patronizing pigs making everyone call each other comrade was beyond him.

Albert gradually began to tune out the auditions eventually pulling his beats from around his neck onto his ears and playing random indie songs instead of listening to the screeching below him.

However, once Race took the stage he paused his music out of curiosity. If he was going to have to deal with this kid all year, he might as well see if he had any talent. However, when he heard the opening chords of what was unmistakably a High School Musical song, he groaned and pulled his beats back on, cranking up the volume to drown out the atrocities of the shitty song.

This plan, however, was foiled when he found himself somehow singing a song that was not the one that was playing through his headphones. Initially, Albert ignored it, too dead set on his own blocking out of Race’s singing to care what his mouth was saying. But as it got progressively louder he ripped his beats off in frustration to see what exactly was going on.

To his utmost horror he realized that he was singing a duet with Race.

Albert’s stomach dropped. He knew exactly what this meant. And there was no way that it could be tue. It had to be a glitch. There was no way in hell that his soulmate was the same kid who had tantalized him on his very own catwalk with his precious lighting gels and a horrendous yet perfectly wonderful Bill Wurtz quote not a half hour before.

And there was absolutely no way that he was going to discover his soulmate by singing a high school musical song infront of all of his friends. No fucking way.

In a panic, Albert clapped his hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds coming from it. That way he could play it off as if it had never happened and continue living his perfectly happy soulmate-less life.

Much to his relief, Race stopped singing mere moments later and he pulled his hand away from his mouth, taking a deep breath of relief. However, this was immediately converted back to anxiety as he began to sing the second verse of the song against his will.

“Take my hand, I’ll take the lead

And every turn, you’ll be safe with me

Don’t be afraid, afraid to fall,

You know I’ll catch you through it all”

Race’s head snapped up and a bright smile formed on his face as he continued to sing, heading toward the steps to the lighting booth. A hush had fallen over the auditorium. Albert briefly wished that he had not tried so hard to get excommunicated because maybe some divine power would have been able to save him from the embarrassment that he was about to experience.

“And you can’t keep-”

“Even a thousand miles can’t keep us apart

“Us apart, cause my heart is-”

“Cause my heart is wherever you are”

Vaguely, Albert heard the familiar clang of someone slowly mounting the steps to the catwalk and he attempted to duck his head further into his black sweatshirt to no avail.

“It’s like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you

It’s one in a million the chances of feeling the way we do

And with every step together, we just keep on gettin better

So i can i have this dance, can i have this dance?

Can i have this dance?”

Then, as if being in such close proximity to Rae had some profound influence on him, Albert felt his legs begin to carry him toward the catwalk and, subsequently, the annoying beanpole himself.

“Oh, no mountains too high and no oceans too wide

Cause together or not, our dance won’t stop

Let it rain, let it pour

What we have is worth fighting for

You know I believe that we were meant to be, yeah”

And then, somehow, it was one of those Dramatic Theater Scenes™ that Albert usually hated so much, but somehow he didn’t mind this time. This must have been the feeling that his friends had so often described to them upon finding their soulmates: complete euphoria, as if nothing in the world existed except for them.

Albert found himself getting closer and closer to Race until they were practically ontop of eachother, his hands clutching at Race’s green minecraft shirt as they continued to sing, oblivious to the audience that they had accumulated.

“It’s like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you

Like you

It’s one in a million the chances of feeling the way, the way we, we do

And with every step together, we just keep on gettin better

So can I have this dance, can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?

Can I have this dance?”

The auditorium below them erupted in a chorus of cheers and Albert felt his face blush bright red under his black beanie, causing him to pull away from Race as he returned to reality. Startled, Race looked at him, but then his face transformed into the mischievous smirk that Albert was beginning to suspect was customary for him.

“Guess you wanna save face in front of all your friends, huh? A badass like you can’t have feelings and all that.” He winked and Albert rolled his eyes. “That’s okay, you don’t have to kiss me now if you’re uncomfortable with it.”

Now it was Albert’s turn to roll his eyes as he hovered his lips mere inches from Race’s and said the same thing that he had been told not too long ago: “how bout I do anyway?” and smashed their lips together, earning a loud round of applause from the crown below and one lone whoop from Spot.

As Albert was passionately mushing his lips against his soulmate, he couldn’t help but think to himself, maybe high school musical wasn’t so bad after all.

_______

im actually low key proud of this like maybe I still know how to write lol

feedback is always appreciated, hmu to be on the tag list

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@nico-nat

[pricechecktranslations]

I am definitely not the best at my listening Japanese, and it doesn't help that they speak SO DARN FAST that I have trouble catching all of the words. So, it's possible I'm saying all this stuff while having misunderstood things, missed things, etc.

But, these are my many scattered thoughts on the Daughter of Evil musical, written as I was watching it in full for the first time (so, might not be the best thought out or expressed but still):

-Despite all of the changes, it's interesting to see how many moments appear to be lifted directly from the novels. It does feel like they had a good familiarity with the source material, but for whatever reason chose to make the story different (perhaps in part to have it be a standalone adaptation rather than going into the entire Daughter of Evil series lore).

-"The Orange Coast" is a very nice song, and I like it a lot. In fact, I like a lot of the songs that are exclusive to the musical. The exposition song about the plight of the starving people, the duet between Riliane and Kyle (the irony in that both are fond of each other but as Riliane sings of her excitement for the wedding Kyle is eager to break it off), Clarith's lament after losing Michaela, etc. There's only a few that I really disliked, either because they weren't sung well or because they felt too anachronistic in their instrumentals. However, because they had their own songs the ones that mothy made felt out of place. The only one I think really fit was Regret Message and the eponymous Daughter of Evil.

-The candy castle is pitiful. It's supposed to be an extravagant display of Riliane's utter selfish greed, to have something so large that she can't even eat all of it while her people are starving. It should be at least twice the size that it is in the play--it's supposed to be much taller than the average person, with enough room that someone could conceivably be inside.

-Riliane being unrepentant might be one of the things that pisses off fans the most, but it feels somewhat more appropriate in this adaptation. This version of Riliane shows far more awareness of the evil in her actions and how it makes her look, even taking a more active role in them, as opposed to the more innocent and sheltered Riliane of the book. Her biggest regret in the end is not that she was a horrible person (because she seems to have sort of made her peace with that early on) but that she didn't appreciate Allen's loyalty and devotion to her when she had the chance. Her dismissal of him is far more explicit in this version, where he outright tells her to her face that he's on her side and she just scoffs at him, and she spends most of the story talking about how alone she is. Basically, their relationship is the focus of her character arc rather than her morality. Even her will to live at the end is almost solely because he died for her rather than finding her own reason to live.

-Josephine is a diva and I kind of love it. I don't necessarily mind the addition of ridiculous elements like a talking horse (well, who talks to other horses anyway)--this is a stage play after all. Breaking the fourth wall is kind of an intrinsic part of theatre, and I'm always of the mind that a live performance being entertaining is more important than it being dramatic. But that's just my tastes, I think.

-I will say, the guy who plays Allen is TERRIBLE at the songs they have him sing. That's not to say he can't sing at all, but songs like "I'm a Servant" really show that he just can't hit those notes to save his life. I also don't care much for his acting, it feels a little like he's substituting shouting for emotion. Germaine is sort of the same way, but I don't mind it as much from her because her character is supposed to be boisterous.

-The exclusion of Elluka doesn't really bother me, as she had very little plot presence in the first novel to begin with (note, I don't think she's removed entirely--there appear to be some allusions to her character existing, such as in the early exposition segment with Mariam and Leonhart where she's on the other side of the stage as a hooded figure in shadow). I think it might be possible that they did so as a part of the overall trend of the musical removing the fantasy elements to begin with--no Elluka, no magic, no mention of Michaela as a former spirit (although...there is that vision of her that Allen has, not sure what to make of that), etc. In fact, the inclusion of demons is deconstructed by Keel later in the story, speculating that such things are merely scapegoats people use to hide the evil already lurking within themselves. ...Although, well...Leonhart seems to show up as a ghost...So...

-Michaela and Clarith's dynamic is interesting. It's much more light-hearted than the heavy themes of abuse and emotional recovery in Wiegenlied--Michaela's more of a happy-go-lucky pixie dream girl with no social awareness at all than simply naive about human relationships, and Clarith is down to earth and shy rather than brooding and self-demeaning at every turn (I think maybe because they shifted her into the viewpoint character). Though that might be a result of seeing them after they've already moved to Aceid. One change I found entertaining is that it's Keel who hires them for Michaela's singing instead of Mikina hiring Clarith out of generosity towards an oppressed minority, and as a result Michaela ends up making this big show about how she absolutely must have Clarith with her and that she can't do anything without her. It's cute.

-Keel is supremely entertaining and I like his character in this a lot. He's an excellent choice for outside narrator. Even in the novels he was kind of the one guy that wasn't bogged down by a bunch of emotional drama.

-There are a lot of extreme tonal shifts. Funny things following really dramatic things (Michaela and Clarith's introduction follows Germaine's declaration of war, Kyle being a goofball in the revolution follows Allen's attempts at getting Micheala to safety while struggling with his orders to kill her, etc). I think the biggest and most jarring tonal shift is Josephine defending Allen from Kyle and his lackey, though--that's the one that kind of took me right out of the story, though I will say Josephine's actor is quite good with the dance-battling. This is a big contrast from Evillious--I don't think there are many, if any scenes where mothy deliberately sacrifices dramatic moments for a joke. I don’t know if it’s made worse by the fact that Josephine fighting with a sword may not have been a joke, and it may have been something we were supposed to take seriously.

-I wonder why they kept in the green onion. I guess because it's a good character joke for Michaela, but plot-wise it no longer serves any actual purpose without Elluka and Gumillia. In fact, its inclusion kind of makes Michaela seem a bit weirder as a person, because instead of it being a magical tool that she uses she's just excitedly showing it off to people and coming up with random things you could do with it. It's a little egregious too because, while the girl who sings for Michaela is actually quite good, I don't think her voice is well suited to the "Very Amazing Green Onion" song that goes with it. It's kind of used as a vehicle for Allen's developing crush, but...Well, I'm not sure I'd develop feelings for someone just because they ranted about a vegetable at me for a few minutes.

-Kyle is...a strange fish. I think the reduction of his character to a lovestruck fool makes some sense because this is how he comes off before his character development in the series, and his psychological issues are a little too complex to go into in a two hour musical that's not even about him. So, instead of "this guy was heavily emotionally abused and then possessed by a lust demon", they go with "he's a big enough idiot to cause all this political strife over a crush". He's an outright parody of himself in every way, in every scene (like him being all diva about his Karchess identity). Having his little toady around him (I'm not sure if that's supposed to be Arkatoir or not but I do know he mispronounces Kyle's name) serves as a good balance to the energy of his character, so I think that's well done. But I also can't help but find him obnoxious, and while I think he actually can sing, his voice cracks a lot at bad times. I certainly don't love him like I did his novel character, but then given that this is a stage adaptation I think all of them are a bit more shallow than in the story proper. This is, of course, not taking into account how thoroughly unpleasant he becomes after Michaela's death, but that's somewhat in character, so.

-I question a lot of the costuming choices that aren't based directly on the novel appearances. Minis, for example, does not look like a French minister at all.

-Reina is very good at playing both Riliane's harsh, cold side, and her playful, childish side. But these two sides don't always feel like they come from the same person, which I'm not sure is a credit to the way the character is played or a detriment. It does make for a frightening shift when her murderous declarations come after a childish tantrum (like her declaring war on Elphegort). She is, also, very good at singing, which is notable considering how at least half the other cast is not so good.

-There is a neat little callback during the revolution that I liked--Germaine is introduced as fighting the palace soldiers for fun (and winning) to show off what a brash tomboy she is, and she fights those same soldiers the same way later on (it's kind of sad, actually, as they don't want to fight her).

-The framing of events near the end is actually somewhat interesting--it blends together the green invasion with the revolution, intermixing Michaela's death with the main emotional climax of the plot. The whole play in general feels rushed and lacking in enough time to truly develop all it's trying to accomplish (like, for example, WHY Michaela's death is such a big deal for everyone), but this part is actually well executed. Also note that Michaela was burned alive in this version (Ney spreads a rumor that Germaine is a witch who set the fire).

-I'm not exactly an expert but the fight scenes are decently choreographed and enjoyable to watch (though some of the extras are a bit lackluster in their performance, imo).

-I do like how they blended Chartette and Mariam's fight with Germaine and Gast's--it's a good way to save time without Gast there (I mean, his primary contribution outside of being a Final Boss was the Venom mercenaries causing tension in the country, and there isn't enough time for that so I understand cutting him out too), and has some depth with Chartette moved by Germaine's strength and determination into helping defeat her instead of continuing to defend the palace. We also get to see Mariam as the badass she is, which is nice. Though, I think the song they sing while they're fighting would be better if they weren't clearly running out of breath from the actual physical fighting (I know lip-synching is taboo in SOME circles but having the song pre-recorded might have helped? I don't know).

-I don't know what to make of Ney--partially because she's one of those people that speaks too fast for me to really understand, but I'm also not sure how we're to take her character without all the backstory and latter-end plot relevance behind it. She's certainly creepy, which I suppose is the most important thing. She does seem to have the same role--a double agent for the queen of Marlon--but it's severely watered down by the lack of Prim's presence in the story.

-I know that it's leading up to something heartwarming, but there is something kind of creepy to me about Allen shouting "TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF" at Riliane. And in general, I find a lot of the emotional moments undercut by the shouting melodrama of the acting. But, there is something interesting in Riliane actively agreeing to Allen's twin switch after he talks her into it, rather than being tricked into it like in the novel. The depiction of the tradeoff is good too, showing Allen literally taking her place at the guillotine as he monologues his feelings to make it more clear what it is he's doing, with us actually getting Riliane's perspective on the whole thing whereas her emotions on his switch weren't really explored properly in the novel.

-Honestly, I didn't mind the way the revolution ended either. It's...kind of supposed to be a dreary end. That's the point--Germaine's quest for vengeance only served to bring harm to the people she loved, and while they did depose Riliane, who was a genuinely terrible monarch, the ultimate structure of the country with nobles on top remains unchanged for generations afterwards. Germaine being killed sucks, but then if this is a standalone there's really no more need for her character (and killing her is what Kyle tries to do a few years down the line in the books anyway, for the same reasons too. It's also sadly in character for the version of him in this musical).

-I would also suggest that instead of people calling him Kyle, they follow his toady's lead and call him "Kael" instead.

-I actually think Riliane's declaration that she's evil at the end is meant to be...more an expression of her lack of self-worth. When she's escaping she expresses doubt as to how to be a good person, and shock that Allen would give his life for her in spite of who she is. When she says "I regret nothing, because I'm evil", I don't think that's meant to be taken as a boast. I think really the big thing is that this story is made to be a tragedy, not necessarily the Daughter of Evil series' idea of growing as a person. Though, that doesn't mean I like the ending with her telling Clarith to bow to her necessarily--I think it kind of exists just to be a bookend of "this is the Daughter of Evil" rather than giving the audience something to chew on after they leave the theater. They had a perfect opportunity to capitalize on the idea of Clarith and Riliane being similar (lonely people that had someone die in their place, sort of) and bonding over that, but they missed it.

In conclusion: Eh, I liked it. I wouldn’t necessarily watch it again, but if I could ever see it live that might be nice.

[pilferingapples]

Episode 5a: Green Finch and Cosette Bird

Not gonna try to Chronology this bc despite my best efforts I have NO idea what time span this is all supposed to be covering, like if it’s weeks or months or, as it appears to be, all happening in one Really Busy Week 

Before I get into it: As always , major props for the Props people, and the set design team on this show. Whatever my other issues about the series, I’ve loved the look of the places, and there’s some real nice touches in every scene. They make rewatching it all worth it just for the visuals. 

...More mixed feelings under the cut, but I did enjoy some things besides the setting!:

HELLO HELLFONT MY OLD FRIEND , what can I say,  it’s becoming a familiar (type)face , any friend in a storm

-I really enjoy this opening-- setting up that the people in Paris really ARE at about ready to riot and everyone really is angry, it’s not just Those Kids in A Bar Somewhere. It feels very A Few Pages of History, (4.1 , for those wondering!) and I’m glad it’s being given some time. 

-I am ALSO Highly Entertained that all this deep rooted and widespread social unrest is juxtaposed with flyers of THAT DASTARDLY VALJEAN. I’m sure to this Javert they’re exactly the same thing-- and I mean I am SURE because Javert tells us so directly: 

Rivet or Rivette or whatever: Uh boss we have intel on an attempt at overthrowing the government and I mean Parisians actually do that not infrequently of late so IDK  but I think we have bigger issues than your Nemeship 

Javert, Verbatim:  THERE IS NO. LARGER. ISSUE. MAN, Mark My Words, Where Ever You Find Unrest, HE Will Be At The Very Heart Of It 

THIS IS THE BEST THING THIS JAVERT HAS EVER SAID but it’s just gonna get better and I am SO here for Hilariously Overinvested In One Rando Thief Javert, he’s got basically nothing to do with Javerts Past and I do not CARE, this is hilarious

- Cutting over to Valjean and Cosette, with Cosette nursing his really oozy arm wound! I am NOT satisfied with Valjean’s “well I had to go back to the Thenardiers for  Reasons” line at ALL, especially not when Cosette was so clearly retraumatized.  I would accept a Scheme on his end, a moral argument, ANYTHING, but she’s just like “so this is awful” and he’s all “but Cosette, REASONS” . Also not satisfied with Cosette denouncing people as Evil! or Valjean signing off on it! I understand why she’s saying it from a Watsonian perspective but the show has chosen to set this up, to have the characters most associated  with redemption and recovery ready to directly condemn. This Cosette is infinitely more judgemental, and I can see why, because holy smokes this Valjean. And this is a fairly brief moment in the show but it’s just off for what this story and these characters represent.

- Meanwhile, in Some Cafe I Guess, Enjolras has some terrible lines about the upcoming revolution that make it seem like this has been a pickup game planned since all of last week and I have horrible foreshadowing of Fandom Arguments to Come. 

Also: this is not the fandom I think we are if we can’t just Nominate some Remaining Amis out of this mess of extras! I’ll go first; I nominate the bearded guy in the corner during Enjolras’ speech about Lamarque (at ~~4:43) for Bahorel, and the dark-haired guy in front of him for Joly.

-I love how grim the women’s prison is; also, Mme T trying to be as good a mother as she knows how to be even here.  (Also I know they probably should NOT be in the same prison together, but this is one of those condensations that I Get)

- I’m sure a lot of people are gonna hate it, but I actually really appreciate that this Marius is rather cold and unpleasant to Eponine post-Gorbeau, when she’s taking him to see Cosette. That is  canon!  He’s quite rude and even physically rough with her when he sees her again!  It’s an important aspect of his character; he gets caught up with his current Only Thing In The World and treats other people around him badly, it’s a running thing! Heck, this Marius is still  kinder to Eponine post-Gorbeau than his book counterpart.  I feel awful for Eponine, of course, but then I absolutely should. This is a Good Bit.  

-Thenardier escapes from prison by pretending to have Died of Dysentery--er, cholera! If they’re not gonna have Gav and the whole Escape By Night scene, this is actually a pretty clever, quick way to get Thenardier out, and build in the info about the cholera epidemic. I can never be exactly glad to lose Gavroche Scenes, but this was a pretty good way to abridge that! 

- Valjean’s arm  is better! So it’s been Some Vague Time! So he’s leaving for Mysterious Valjean Purposes (money), with a blithe “Cosette stay here, it’s safe but also don’t leave the house until I get back, also you can’t come with me because it’s dangerous, but don’t worry it’s TOTALLY safe.” If this Valjean were more the warm, loving character he should be, this might just seem awkward and badly phrased; with all that’s happened between them already and all that comes next, this just seems manipulative and cruel.

-Vajlean goes out into the streets and sees ...a drawing that doesn’t really look like him! On a wanted poster! So he tears it down. Javert’s Valjeany Sense Activates and his eyes open in his office when Valjean tears down the poster Who Knows Where. This delights me. DELIGHTS. This Javert is a hilarious parody of all Javerts and I officially love it.

-I also like Thenardier and...Montparnasse?-- and someone else..?why is this scene so dark --  in the sewers, and the cut from that to Cosette. Nice way to stress the actual real danger that Valjean’s left her in, also: good Cat Scare before Marius happens. (yeah and also Thenardier seems to be Leader of the Patron Minette, which is never my Fave Choice for an adaptation to make, but it makes sense, especially as breakneck as things are moving 

-Toussaint’s Cheerful Doomy Dooms of Doom while Valjean leaves her and Cosette to do his Secret Valjean Thing; since Enjolras has banned romantics from the barricade, guess we gotta take our cheerful death talk where we can! (also, totally canon!)

-okay, you know what, I really like Cosette’s scenes in the garden. This Cosette is doing a great job of selling me on her Extremely Young-ness. She seems young enough and unworldly enough that a Magic Boyfriend sneaking in without her noticing is Cool and Exciting and Magical instead of super unnerving.  She’s adorable. And there is really excellent framing here with the flowers and the lighting and all. It does  feel like a fairy tale, which, it really should; this is Cosette’s fairy tale romance and I’m happy for her.

...Unfortunately this Valjean is rather too much the part of the Ogre Parent and I wish Marius would just take her away.  Uhg. (also I haaaate this bgm. HAAAATE. I am not talking about it much and I know it’s probably just me but it is so obtrusive to me!) 

- Gavroche shows up, robbin’ all the randos and giving bread to a couple of genuinely unrelated street kids! I...am having such mixed feelings! I love this actor; this actor has Gavroche absolutely DOWN and I am accepting him into my heart entirely but...like...why is  this  part of the story  here,  why is there so much emphasis on him being a thief, why does he just leave the momes instead of trying to take them in, why is this show trying to make it visually clear that these aren’t his brothers? this is just..it’s the thing that keeps happening where there are a bunch of changes for no apparent reason and they don’t add up to anything new but they also aren’t the Original Thing and I can’t figure out what the point of those alterations really are (though this scene, with the extra thieving and reduced generosity, grand-total steals some of Gavroche’s heroism).  The actor is amazing but GIVE HIM HIS FULL BIT. 

- back to Definitely Some Cafe (it’s really well done, I just have no idea what cafe it is ? It’s full of workers, maybe this is supposed to be the Corinth?)  and a brief, foolish moment on my part of hoping there’ll be more discussion of why the rebellion is happening is Destroyed and turned to  “you rich students can go back to your families in the country but--”  THIS IS THE GHOST OF MY ASKBOX FUTURE AND I HATE IT , OH SPIRITS;  WHAT MAY I DO TO TURN THIS NIGHTMARE ASIDE

-...why isn’t this worker just...Feuilly...why are none of the workers Feuilly...

-P.sure my Joly HC is here 

either that or he’s BBC’s Merlin which might explain some things

- Awkwardness of Lost Historical Context aside, this Enjolras is growing on me (like a scruffy beard!) . He’s intense and physically affectionate and I like that in an Enjolras; I just think it’s weird that he’s hanging out with what are apparently random students who haven’t committed to the revolution frigging yet , but you know! Whatever!  

- ...I am currently kind of on the fence about this but...if they’re not gonna give the whole arc with Grantaire As Symbol of the Apathetic Bourgeois being Converted the time it needs, I ...think?  ..what they’re doing here might be a serviceable substitute?  He’s very obviously Not Got The Revolution Fever and is Doing It For His Friends, and he’s obviously super uncomfortable about it.  I like this take on that so far better than some versions I’ve seen. 

ATM, gotta say, the Amis Scene is bugging me the least. If it weren’t for the absolutely bizarre nonsense last week, I would be Pretty Okay with the Amis stuff?? WEIRD BUT TRUE.  Or maybe just a sign of how some adaptations have totally destroyed my expectations here to the point where “Enjolras isn’t actually Dracula” is Okay With Me. ANYWAY I’LL TAKE IT, A MOMENT OF LIKABLE CHARACTERIZATION. 

-The Revolutionary conversation segues with a cut to the Royalist Salon and Gillenormand, who  is NOT likeable and I’m not sure why we get this scene Here In Particular?  A contrast to the revolutionaries, I guess? But this Gillenormand continues to be very very  accurate. 

- At The House In The Garden, Valjean is back! Cosette comes to hug him! He apparently WAS worried that she wouldn’t be safe so what was with the reassurances earlier like she was being a stupid child! And most important

WHY DOES VALJEAN HAVE A BACK LACING WAISTCOAT  WHY DID HE WEAR THAT ON HIS TRIP AWAY  WHO LACED HIM UP WHILE HE WAS GONE  AAAAAAAAH 

okay I’m okay

- wait NO I’m NOT because now it’s time for the Patron Minette to come in and not-rob this place and the show completely destroys Eponine’s moment as the guardian of Marius and Cosette’s happiness!  Instead of her getting to intimidate a bunch of grown armed men into retreat, she’s attacked, threatened, and ultimately rendered  passive, her moment of heroism rendered null when no one comes to her scream, and her role in saving the Valjean house and all in the garden replaced by an actual dog.  I am really pretty furious about this! But the Character Destruction Of Eponine deserves its own post so Moving On FOR NOW...

- ...also are you telling me THIS hyper paranoid, aggressive JVJ doesn’t notice or react to screams and barking dogs 

- holy moly even kneeling Marius is almost as tall as Cosette, that’s not relevant to anything but it’s entertaining to me; it’s also Very Cute to have him comforting her by making himself smaller than her, when they’re both freaking out about her imminent maybe-move. 

- Valjean having a conversation with Eponine instead of just getting her note to move is not inherently The Worst! But the way he treats her just reinforces how cold and uncaring he is. There’s no compassion in him for a poor abused girl who could almost have been his daughter, no concern for how she might be faring, not even an awkward “hey be careful”.  Is it understandable? Yeah, sure. A lot of selfish focus is Understandable and human. But it’s not admirable, it’s not kind, it’s not the actions or attitude of a man who’s learned kindness towards the world through love, or who tries to put others first to the point that it would kill him. It makes sense, for some characters-- but it’s just not Valjean. 

-NICOLETTE IS THE HERO THIS ADAPTATION NEEDS and she’s SO happy to announce that Marius is back to talk to his awful awful Grandpa!

- The whole scene with Marius asking Gillenormand  for permission to marry is very satisfyingly awful and I have no complaints. It’s a bit abbreviated, and I wonder if people who don’t know the era will totally get that this is a question of needing adult legal approval?  but it’s not shortened beyond the amount that Adaptational Space might suggest. I’d take this little scene as a good illustration of the Gillenormand/Marius dynamic for anyone. Also: is that the Yellow Prisoner-Crafted Wallpaper???  BBC Set Design People, you’re the BEST

- I know I’ve already given kudos to the props and set people but I LOVE this little bachelor apartment that Marius and Courfeyrac are sharing, this is so great?? I’ve seen sketches from the era that look so much like this!  Give me a  moment to squeak happily about this place-- the low roof! The clothesline! The clutter! I love it! (@ about 30:00) 

- I HATE EVERYTHING ENJOLRAS  SAYS HERE THOUGH, even if I intend to meme out No Romantic Daydreamers to the FULLEST 

-Cutting back to Valjean and Cosette’s house, I also hate that Cosette defense-flinches when she wakes up! It’s been eight years! That should not still be her auto-reflex if she’s come to feel safe and loved!  My heart! 

Valjean tells her they have to move today. Valjean does NOT tell her where they’re going. Valjean gives her an hour to pack--and Cosette has to run out and ask Toussaint what the address will be and has to LIE TO TOUSSAINT about why she needs it. Valjean, there are secrets you might feel a need to keep from your daughter. WHERE SHE LIVES should not be one of them. “I’m taking you to an address no one knows and also you can’t have it ahead of time” is what kidnappers do! Watching Cosette write her note and move (terrible bgm and all) is breaking my heart--she is so alone in this house--no one is on her side, no one is there to listen to her, no one is really considering her feelings or giving her any explanations, she’s being moved around like a pet. The abuse is less florid than with the Thenardiers, but it’s still there, and I want to cry. 

The scene goes from soldiers marching outside the window of the new apartment to the funeral. Aaaand that seems like a good place to break this giant review in two. 

Randoming Fandoming:

-I’m pretty sure that at around 6:14 a woman and kid in modern clothes just wander in the background behind Marius! This is not a Complaint, these things happen to any production, but it’s fun to have spotted? 

[zebraslovescupcakestoo]

You’ve got a friend in me.

My life is sometimes like news papers. Everyday is another issue... Mostly the ones you'd never believe it without solid evidence to back it up.

This is one of those times that would have been in front pages if we were found out...

Before who I've brought to my home, here's what happened earlier before this scene.

I was almost done with my shift of paroling one of the more peaceful streets. My kids are at one of their friends house for a weekend sleep overs, one of the privileges they only get if they're being good and done all of their homework for the whole week. My friend and my love, Sheba and Kitty, are having a girls night with things like watching that new show called 'I love Lucy.' So they'll be out late and I will have my moment of a peaceful evening if I have the chance...

Then I bumped into am odd character who came out from a bookstore. He had a blue suit, yellow pants and shirt, a pink tie and a ribbon on the blue fedora hat, and a light brown pair of shoes. He concealed his face with his hat a bit to avoid his face being recognized, but something tells me that I saw him before... He then noticed another odd character that I can tell he's from a mafia, judging from his stripped black suit attire and his smug look when he knew he found him.

Like any policemen would do, I had to protect the citizens, even if you don't know them well. I took out my badge to show him I'm mean serious business when I told him he's making the little guy uncomfortable. He may have been an average height, but with my size, he can easily picked me up with both hands. He was about to tell me off until he noticed his target has a present box with red ribbon on it. We both looked at him confused when he placed his hand on the present box's lid and opened it. It was a spring trap knock out glove!

His grasp let go of me and then I was dragged off by my victim now saviour to an empty alley way when we were far away and out of sight. As much as I wanted to thank him, I can't accept this kind of reckless act even if it was to save me. But just before I opened my mouth, his hat fell off and his iconic bangs fell off his sides and his unusual hair style had popped up. My hands clamped me up before any sounds escapes...

Even if I rarely read the magazines, I knew very well who he is....

And then we're here in my parole car in front of my house, just like at the beginning of this story I'm about to tell you.

“Is this your home? It looks so neat!” He said. “This is a great hideout for the moment! My hotel was a bit crowded with some reporters for another movie star actor. If you haven't offered me that chance, my visit cover would have been blown and ended both in the front pages of Chicago AND California. Bendy would probably made something mean out of it... May we go in now?” He then sounded like a kid who just made a new friend and... I felt like I'm a peasant that's gonna show an aristocrat my 'humble little home.'

I mean, what can you expect if your new 'friend' is the son of one of the most successful animator and he himself is one, apart he's one of the faces of Hollywood and one of the V.I.P list invitees must haves.

I'm talking about Mickey 'Mouse' Disney... THE Mickey 'Mouse' Disney. Right. Next. to. me.

And he's waiting at my door steps eagerly for me... almost like hell is in my state of mind. At the same time, my mind is asking me not why he's here in this windy city, but out of any other places we could have gone that's not too opened in public, why is my home the first thing on his mind?!

Anyways, I decided not to ponder much and let him in. I knew that my house is nothing like an upper class one with it's own bar, multiple bathrooms and a huge staircase that lead to probably Rapunzel’s tower. It's got family pictures, some decent furniture and just basic, average things in a normal home...

But that doesn't faze him. “This is sooooo interesting. Are these your kids? Do you have sweets? Sorry, I'm having a bit of a sweet tooth. Is your whole family here or not yet? I would love to meet them personally!” He sped talked while he looked with enthusiasm at all of my past and present family photos like he's never seen them before.

Like my kids, I think I need to settle him down a bit before he's gonna break something by accident with the way he's going.

“How about we talk more about it in the dinning room? Although the only sweets I have were peanut butter cookies that were made last night.” I had to tell him.

He wasn't mad like I would expect from someone with his reputation. “Oh no, it's fine! I used to eat my stash of Halloween candies all year round when I was little and they're still good even for a day! I love peanut butter anyways! Hey! That would gave me an idea on my next baking goods at my studio. I will take notes on that!”

Funny... I don't remember anything him being a baking type... then again, as a bookworm myself, you can't judge a book by it's cover.

As I passed over a plate full of those peanut butter cookies and a tall glass of milk, he munched down on one and said with a mouthful. “Yummers! I don't know you make these, except the recipe, but these are good!” Thankfully I've thought about having some napkins in case if we spill some. He then realized on his manners and quickly apologized as he used the napkins. “Oopsies! I'm so sorry. I totally forgot my manners. I was having constantly lunches with business men and stars that I was constantly keeping my appearances up. It can be really stressful, but I know that not exactly a good excuse. I'm really being rude, aren't I?” He sounded like he really didn't mean it on purpose.

“Oh, no, it's alright. When we're tired, we do sometimes have some tendencies to let our guards down without realizing and I can relate as a detective and a single parent-uncle.” I do my detective work half of my time and the rest is mostly on my kids and close family. Yeah, I can relate as much if I was woofing down my meals like I'm late or something.

He was surprised on that last part. “Single parent-uncle? What... happened?” He then showed some concern like other people would have done whenever I told them that. I knew that it's not something that I can dodge anytime, but at least it can give them some understanding.

Few stories later...

“I see... I'm sorry for what had happened to your older sister and your father. I shouldn't have asked something like that.” He sadly replied. “No, it's alright. Sometimes talking about it to someone who would lend an ear helps. It's nothing new to me whenever I met parents of my nephew's friends and some. I'm pretty much used to it.” I assured him. I've dealt with many things in life at an early age that it didn't bother me as much and I can tell he's not faking his iconic personality.

“To be fair, I too lost someone. My mother. She passed away when I was about a year younger than yours are... She might have died from an illness, but I know that feeling and what you've been going through at the time.” He said truthfully like from his heart.

“I appreciate your compassion, but we're alright now. We did had one of my uncles to come over to watch over us while I graduated and gone through the police academy training until I got the job and can financially support ourselves. I also had a few close friends who supported me as well, so it's not so bad when times get a bit rough at times. Really, we're doing great so far.” I assured him. I knew it's never easy in life, but I'm not interested to complain at every problem in my way and be over dramatic. If I want that, I'll go to one of the Broadway theaters.

It seems that I cheered him up a bit. “Well, at least you got them like I have mine. They looked similar to you and the other man from the older portraits, aren't they?” I nodded. “That's true. We mostly take from my father... except...”

“Except?” He tilted his head in curiosity. “They have emerald green eyes and I... I have my mother's eyes. They're a bit unique and I'm the only one who has them.” As much as I hate liars, I'm not even good as one. I was raised with honesty, unlike my cousin...

“Really? I think they looks so cool! I bet that golden color would make my big brother jealous!” Mickey complimented me. That IS a surprise for me. Nobody else had ever said that except my girl and friends... “Cool? Jealous? But... aren't they a bit.... odd?”

“No way! I think it's very unique and they do compliment your looks! I always think being different is a great trait. I mean, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be like everybody, but how do we stand apart if we want to be special? In a good way, of course.” He said with big sparkling eyes. I knew that he's known to be a positive person, but I didn't think he'd still be one when we're alone.

“I appreciate your compliment, but I've always been picked on because of these. It had died down as I grew older, but sometimes I get some odd glances at me.”

“That I can relate.” He took a sip from his cup of milk. “I used to be teased at my elementary school because I had natural curl buns.” He patted his right hair bun to imply.

“You? But didn't you used to be a child star? I remembered you in one of those cereal and juice commercials when I was younger. Many of my classmates would have begged their parents and have whatever you'd be having.” Normally, if I had someone in my class is somewhat similar to him, I'd be really impressed and wanted to try the same thing.

“Trust me, it's not that simple from my first experiences.” I raised an eyebrow at that. “From one side, in the commercials stand point, the products were either a hit or a miss. The cereals weren't as edible as it was, even with the milk and the last juice promotion that I tried, I ended up in a hospital for almost three days.” I gagged. I did had bad taste testing before, but I didn't expect someone like him to be any different. “Even if I DID had some success, there are still some who's still didn't like me. One time, there was a bunch of older kids ganged up and beat me. They even took my new drawing pad, colouring pencils and my new stuffed plush that my dad had gotten me.” I can see that he's not making this up as I heard this and felt a bit of anger from what happened to him at the time. “I'm... sorry. I didn't know you were that bullied at the time... Compared to mine, yours was so... worse.”

“Verbal or Physical, both are wrong. Yet, here we are.” He implied to both of us. “Me? I just pass on by along with some close friends and family. How did you ever do it?” I didn't think we'd have something in common. “Same as you. My brother was so mad when I arrived home to dad that day, he immediately knew who'd would do and got out the door. He came back two hours later with a bleeding nose and my stuff. What he did well... we did had to do explanations with the principals and we settled it peacefully. I promised.” I was surprised at that. His brother even got into to trouble for him?

Hey, that reminds me. I had to ask. “Your brother wouldn't be Oswald 'Lucky Rabbit' Disney? By any chance?”

From his expression, he looked like he was surprised from a birthday party. “You knew Ozzy! Where? How? And from who? I'm DYING to find out if people would know him as himself rather our family name or even me!” That attitude reminded me of my own when they're hyper for something... Normally, at a certain age they'd be more mature but then again, it could be a public image thing. Although, he seems he's being honest...

“Well... I've did occasionally picked up a magazine one time and er... I can only get so much on his interviews, clothing catalogs, his co-staring on a couple of movies including that movie 'Green Hornet,' his poster faces, his singing-!!!” I immediately clamped my mouth before I say another word. My face is probably red as a tomato and I think I might have creep him out. Please don't make a search warrant in my room for my memorabilia photos and clippings of him that I perfectly organized in a binder. Out of reach from my kids. Please.

“Why are you being shy for?” He seems that he's not bothered by the facts that I spoke. I stuttered a bit to make sense out of his unusual calm manor. “B-b-b-b-ut! Didn't I-i—i-I just... said something unpleasant?” I'm usually more mannered than this, what's wrong with me tonight? Overworked or is it because my guest is a celebrity? He shook his head. “No, I'm actually surprised that there IS someone who's a fan of him. Do you know what he used to respond to people who come up to him?” He then imitates his brother's voice and his cool and collected act. “Maximum of three questions. No betrayal. Immunity from prosecutions.” He then switched back to his self again. “It was one thing when I started out when they mentioned my dad, but whenever it was him, it's between him and me they wanted to know about more than himself.”

“I... I'm sorry. I thought he was pretty cool on his own.” I find he's more interesting to me...

“I'll be sure to let him know about it! He never shows it, but he really likes to be complimented!” He chuckles in content. I was a bit embarrassed, but I think I'm getting a bit warmed up around him. I can see why he's more likeable than what most people would have expected from a child star. He didn't mocked and look down at me, unlike a certain somebody I know.

I then felt a bit guilty for judging him a bit before. “I'm sorry...” He then tilted his head. “For what?”

“I... I thought you'd be more... well... I thought you'd be the opposite of what I expected. I don't like to judge too early, but I had a few experiences with wealthy types... I felt bad.” I admitted.

I was expecting an outburst but he was unexpectedly polite when he responded. “Don't worry about it. It happens all the time when I do interviews and charity parties. People would expect I'd be spoiled and rotten from what I was grown into, but I still kept my personality a positive one. I have a few close caring friends and family to thank for that.” I can safely say that he's not lying at all. He spoke the truth, ya reading, imaginary people from my mind!

“I'm glad you've understood and I appreciate your maturity. Not a lot of people at your age can be as mature as you can.”

“Trust me, I do act a bit silly at times, but my big brother usually helps me to keep my feet on the ground. He's one of the first to help me mature a bit, not just as a sibling instinct. I always did look up to him.”

I was surprised to hear that one from him. His personality and his brother's were a bit opposites of each others. “I know what you might be thinking! We both have WAY too many different personalities and stuff! Like our food interests for example! Me, I have a very high metabolism and I can eat almost anything. To be fair, I DO have to maintain a healthy diet so that I don't give a bad example to anyone especially the kids. My brother on the other hand, he's probably born without a sweet tooth. Even as a kid, he never really liked sweets except carrot baked goods. He's more on the health conscious side and he usually likes to make them home styled compared to high ends restaurants.” He said it in a detailed manner, smiling and thinking about him.

“He must be a much better chef than I am. I do occasionally cook, but I doubt I can achieved the same level as a five star chef.” I admitted another flaw about myself. “Oh, don't be! After hearing what you've been through, you're one of the admirable ones I wouldn't mind having a meal from! I'd be glad to help you out if ever we have another chance of encounter like this!” He beams his kindness from his signature smiles.

“I'm really thankful for your generosity. I wasn't asking for compliments..” I feel like I'm making a new friend since forever.

“I wished that... no, never mind.” He then suddenly felt sadden by something. I looked at what his eyes were diverted and I noticed that this morning news paper had a front page picture of Bendy. That's when it clicked in.

Again, I don't really follow on celebrity lifestyles, but I think anybody who lives around here or anywhere, KNEW that there's some 'unexplained' beefs with Bendy DeMon and Mickey Disney. I should have hid the papers away after I finished reading it... “I'm sorry! I should have thrown it away.” He puts his hand on mine when I reached it over. “No. It's alright. It's just between me and him.” He assured me forcing a small smile. I'd normally would have a thing or two to say about his 'true' character, but if it's gonna be public, I need hard evidence. ESPECIALLY in front of important figures like him.

“I knew he's always had hated me for many reasons, but I never knew how it all started... He wasn't like that when we first met as little as six... I remembered the first time we've visited here. I think it was some sort of a friendly visit of one animator director to another, but I did remembered him with his own cartoon plushie like I had mine we were both named after. I think we were a bit shy at each other at first.” He chuckled at that. “But after we both shared a big chocolate cupcake together, it was like we became friends. I think it was the only time he was really nice to me...” He sadly smiled.

I was a bit shocked. I can barely remembered what I did at that age, let alone Bendy HIMSELF being a 'nice' person. The only reason he can do charity works is so to keep the authorities out of his criminal business. Then again... the only information’s I got about him was that he was one of the elite five of the old Alfonso Mafia and the Leader of the New Alfonso mafia... His past is still a blur except for the Joey Drew Studio and it's history...

“I can still remember the times that I wanted to see him again, even when we're busy, I wanted to play with him. But after days came into years... I suddenly couldn't see him anymore. It was not until I was sixteen when I finally granted permission to visit here, with some exceptions.”

“Exceptions?” He nodded when I asked. “Yeah, I was given a few days, had to follow strict undercover rules and I had to bring someone I can trust. Last one was easy cause I had to bring my brother.” He playfully smiled on that.

“Upon arrival to the studio, it wasn't as well maintained as last time. At first I thought it was probably due to economic problems, but then I noticed that the owner wasn't the same one. It was his uncle who was running that place at the time... and I was in complete shock when I heard from him that our friend had ran away. We did our best to search him all over the city, but we never did.” He seems like he was deep in his thoughts. “It may be a bit cliche, but on the day we had to leave, I think I might have seen a glimpse of him from the taxi ride. It may have been a moment at a stop sign, but I think he was with someone who looks like Boris I believed he was named. Of course, it can be anyone...”

I really wanted to ask more about him and Bendy, but he seems like he's only having the fronts of his cruel personality...

“It wasn't until about two years back, when I heard about the 3rd Joey Drew Studio being re-opened and that I recognized that face too. I was so exited to meet him after all this time that I REALLY had to begged for a congratulation visit.”

“And... Then what happened?”

“Well... I was expecting like a warm welcome similar to what we had when we we're little. So upon arrival, I had to pick up one of the baked goods for a bakery with those chocolate cupcakes that we shared at that time...” He then went silent for a few seconds. “But he wasn't the same friend I used to know. When I arrived at his studio and we met face to face for the first time... He's changed. Not for the better. When I offered a package of the muffins so that we can share, he slapped them off and they all fell on the ground... That's nothing compared to what he told me on everything that had been wrong in his life and blames me on several things... It's not something that I want to discuss when it's ill mannered to speak about it... but they were hurtful. I'm still on to this day unknown on why he hated me so much.” I can tell he's holding more than sorrow in his eyes.

“Sorry, I didn't meant to bring an unpleasant subject.” He apologized. I need to think of a different subject. “How about your animations these days? You guys released a character based on your older brother from what I heard of.” He then lighten up a bit when I asked that. He told me an interesting story of the Lucky Rabbit and how he's actually returned to his Disney animation studio.

“...And that's how he returned to our studio.” He finished. “I can't believed that it happened at the party. I'm glad that Bendy didn't make more damage.” How did he even KNEW about it, I don't really cared much anymore. “I'm just glad that no one got hurt. My clothes can always be replaced, but I still stand on never selling or replacing that character to anyone.”

“That's one interesting decision for the future CEO of Disney Studios.” I smiled. He's not. Did I said something I shouldn't?

He noticed what I did. “I'm sorry. I knew you meant it as a compliment. But for me... I'm still not ready for such a position. Nothing like Bendy who's in charge of his own and we're the same age. Funny, eh?” He scratched his back head embarrassed.

“What? But I think your animations were pretty good! My kids loved them over Bendy's. Inky liked the new Oswald character and Winky still likes your cartoon counterpart character.” His cheeks were redden a bit “Aw, shucks! That's so nice of you guys! Even when there's more cartoon studios that does things differently from ours, that means a lot to us!”

He then finishes off the plate of cookies from the last one. “I always did love to draw. But I never had any intentions of taking over dad's studio until I was close to graduate. Many thought that I was coat tailing my way to the top and that I had it easy since I was his son.” He then took his last sip. “I don't wanna hear anyone telling me that ever again.” He glared down at his empty cup. “I wanted to prove that I'm capable of making beautiful animations without any influence from dad and I was just as competitive as any other artists I've met. I really took art classes seriously in my teens and I didn't stop until my wrists started to hurt so bad that I can barely use them for a few days... I know it may sound extremely ridiculous, but I wanted to prove that I'm capable of more than just a face of the family's business.”

“I can't say that I don't understand completely, but I do know that when I first started out, some people think I only did it because of my family were cops... My reasons was a bit cliche, but I really mean it when I wanted to protect the innocents.”

He smiled at that. “That's true. Which is why I wanted to be one of the bests, not just for bragging rights. I'm not gonna lie when I've applied to one of the strictest teacher when I wanted to challenged myself. The first lesson was so harsh that it took all of my strength NOT to cry in class. I did manage to understood on every single details not just for characters, but for the story settings, backgrounds, even choosing the colors were important! I do admit while I knew some things, there was somethings that I really needed if I wanted my animations to be a masterpiece apart from others one day.”

“Is that part of the reason why you're out here? Like, you're looking for something that you couldn't find back in California?” That would explain why he was out here, but couldn't he just ordered it?

“Actually, I was out here to meet an acquaintance of mine, which I wanted to respect his privacy to remain anonymous. I was stumbled upon that book shop I've come out by luck and greeted you and that thug guy. I guess today was a lucky day for both of us!” He sounded so optimistic when he knew that we almost got mugged earlier... I wished I can have some of his positive attitude sometimes so that life doesn't seemed so bad sometimes...

Wait! Speaking of earlier... What time is it? I glanced on the clock and realized at it was getting pretty late. “Oh, Ra! It's getting pretty late, even for you. I really need to drive you back to your hotel before anyone will report you missing. THEN they'll know you're here.” I got up and he did too while taking the plate and his glass. “Please, allow me.”

I was about to decline that he really didn't need to, but after passing me by, he really didn't mind putting away the dishes.

---Two weeks of newspapers later -----

Ever since that faithful encounter, I started to follow Mickey's lifestyle along with his brother's. Not just for gossips or anything alike, but I felt like I've understood him much better. I knew that I can't always relate to whatever it says on the interviews or headlines, but I do wanted to learn more about him, the REAL him and try to look from his perspectives.

I was having one of my rare day offs where the twins were again at a friend's house until evening and Kitty was out having her hair done. You know, the girl stuff. I was finishing the newspapers when I heard a knock on the door. I got up and went to see who it is, praying it's not someone that will tell me more unpleasant news than Bendy's 'special deliveries.'

Surprisingly, it was a delivery man who brought a special package for me. I was confused since I've never ordered anything or remembered to ordered something. When I had to sign the paper, I noticed a familiar logo and I then realized who really it was from.

Disney.

How? I wondered once the delivery guy was then on his way to his other deliveries. I decided to opened it up in my room in case of other unexpected arrivals came in and sees me with this. I carefully opened it up and as soon as I did, I saw two plushies. One was the cartoon Mickey and the other was cartoon Oswald. I noticed there was an enclosed envelope on top of them. I decided to read this one first. It said this following:

To my new friend, Felix.

I'm sorry that we didn't get the chance to talk more, but I wanted to say again thank you for what you did for me that day. I wanted to write that I've figured out your address by a stroke of luck when I noticed it on one of your letters that was out in the opened when you needed to get changed. I know that it may sounded that I might be too trusting, but I wanted to let you know that I wished to have a pen pal like you so that we can continue to talk more.

P.S. I've included a special card not only for the address, but also as a signature calling card if ever you needed help like you needed a new place to live for example. Ours will help pass our securities personnel without any fuss.

Write to you soon, pen pal!  Mickey Mouse Disney.

I was floored when he had written that. I was deeply touched, yet he really didn't have to do that! Public image or not, he is so kind. I looked at the stuffed toys again. I think they were meant for Inky and Winky respectively due to their colour preferences and characteristics.

This takes me back to when some of the people that were kind to us when we were having memorials at the funerals of when my uncles and aunts came for a visits with some gifts. I knew that they were being kind, but I don't want to spoil them too much.

Then again... I did needed a gift ideas for the twins birthday... but I felt like I'm cheating if I do!

I decided to put them in a safe place for now until I can decide later what I really should do with them. When I removed them, I noticed a picture frame-shaped covered over in a brown paper. I pealed off the first one and it was a stunning purple painting frame of a field of colorful pastel flowers on a hill and another. There was a forest on one side as to indicate it was from a natural side and it was painted in a nice sky blue color skies. I looked on the back to see it was for Kitty. I guess he remembered that detail, despite it was only once...

Guess we DO have another thing in common....

I then noticed another one like it underneath it. I set it aside to see that it is indeed another one, but this one is a different scene. This one had a black frame with the painting of the downtown streets of a city. It was around of an late night restaurant that had a waitress serving a man. It seems that it was taken from the outside of the restaurant cause I can see the streets and light on the side like I was standing out. I bet this is for Sheba... Yup. It's for Sheba.

If I never knew my friend, she wouldn't like the same taste as any other girls... Most of the time.

I then realized that there was one more item a the bottom. It may seems like another painted picture for me, possibly, but upon revealing it wasn't a painting. It was a photograph signed by Oswald! I immediately covered my free hand on my mouth to prevent my fan-boying squealing out! This is one of his best three piece suits and a super cool fedora that he wore in a magazine shoot for high brands. Oh my Anubis! He looks like Dean Martin and he signed 'To my fan, Felix. Oswald Disney.' He is just so.... AHHHHH! I never felt this happy in a long time! This is the coolest thing ever! None of my clippings of him can compare to this! Now for one final thing that was in here was a little card that was tucked to the frame. I opened it up to see that in case of emergency, they send their personal address along with all three Disney signatures from them like Mickey said it would. If ever I needed help...

I sighed in relief. It's been a while since anybody ever said that to me. I always did my best to stay strong, but it's a bit hard on my own sometimes. I'm very glad that I had a few close friends that helped me out in my hardest times before, now I felt like I have another friend that I can rely on if ever I needed an unexpected help in a sticky situation. I knew before that he was a famous person with a lot of benefits, but now I can see that there's more than his status and wealth from him. He's thoughtful, kind, generous and much more!

I decided to hid this back up note in a secret, safe place. I knew what he means and that he was being thoughtful, but I wanted to be a last resort of a thing. I hid it in a secret compartment from my violin case that I hid it very well from my nephews.

Long story short, they wanted to use one of my prized possessions other than playing music...

Speaking of the kids, they will arrive around supper and Kitty too. I think I'll prepare spaghetti and meatballs for tonight.

----Author’s notes------

I know that I’ve wrote a lot in Felix’s perspectives in my fanfics, but I just wanted to imagine possibilities of his close friends and future allies.

To start things off, I’ve had this theory before that Mickey is almost the exact counter-part of his animated cartoon character. He is optimistic and nice, but I was thinking that he also had that desire to be a bit more independent. Like he had that inferiority complex that because he was the son of Walt Disney, some people think he’s gonna have it easy and that he doesn’t need to do much. That would make him a bit more competitive and self improving on his animations. 

(PS: That is also one of the characteristics of a Scorpio! True story!) (He’s on the 19th of November, come on!)

The other Easter egg I wanted to throw in was the mention of The Green Hornet. It was originally from the black and white parts of a film back in the 40′s and then a colorful TV series in the 60′s. They then made a remake film back in 2011. Wink wink! Gadget ideas, Mars bar!

Also on a lighter note, if ever Mickey and Oswald wanted to do a song duo, they would be described as Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin. One that’s a hit and popular and the other smooth and calm. That’s the kind of combo vibes I’m getting from.

So at the end of this, I really hope to see new canon characters that are on the good guys side. I don’t have anything against the new bad guys and stuff, in fact I’m a Disney Villain fan too, but I just wanted to see a new GOOD GUY character one day or soon. Not just as an OC for his AU. *Cough* Mine for example *Cough*

BBTIM AU and Humanized Characters belongs to Marini4.

[murphystartedthefire]

Conageddon: Richard Harmon’s Panel + associated stuff

Disclaimer from the last post: So it’s just my luck that immediately after posting my Richard/Luisa recap, a whole bunch of the Conageddon panels including that one became available online! I definitely encourage people to check them out!

Unfortunately the people who taped them missed Luisa’s solo panel and Richard’s solo panel. So I will still share what I remember and notes from those.

SUNDAY RICHARD PANEL

- I'll admit *I* actually missed the beginning of this because I was in the auto line for Bob with a friend. (”How’s Richard treating you?” were in fact the first words Bob said to me, which made me feel The Betrayal a bit, lol. Also side note, I went so blank on anything to say to Bob that I had to get up and ask a question at his Q&A later just because I thought of something after the fact.)

- Anyway uh... I did finally get over there, and he was wearing this.

- Via twitter learned one of the first questions was whether Murphy sees himself as a bad guy. He answered that Murphy does think he’s a bad guy, but he as Richard doesn’t think Murphy’s a bad guy. ;__;

- Asked if he could only use one word for the rest of the day, what would it be? He went with “cute” because you can use it a lot of different ways, say it sarcastically, etc. It became a running joke in response to things for the rest of the panel, he would just deadpan in an annoyed voice, Cute.

- His next project is a guest role on a show he didn’t name but it’s already on the air and has some of the same writers from “Continuum”. (Can anyone figure this out? “Van Helsing” maybe?) They offered him a multi-episode part as a villain and human trafficker involved in bad things.

- Someone asked a question about Murphy's relationship with alcohol, we've only ever seen him drink a little or when he was getting trashed in the bunker. SPOILER: Murphy being "drunk" a lot is something that we’ll see in season six. Then Richard -- green mustache and all -- actually went into a serious riff about how he drinks socially in real life but tries to avoid doing it for the wrong reasons, out of anger or sadness, and it sounds like that’s where Murphy is and that’s not a healthy coping mechanism for him.

- Someone opened a question saying Murphy is her husband’s favorite character and he proudly calls himself an asshole. Richard was like “your husband has good taste, and he [Murphy] is an asshole, nothing wrong with that.”

- Honestly the real gem of this panel was the long answer to the question of whether Murphy could be more stable if they were in peacetime again. This was the response I summarized on twitter as "talking soberly about mental health and the importance of seeking help while wearing a green mustache." Because it was very moving and I’ll try to remember the gist of it -- he was talking about how he likes to think Murphy could fight his demons because he is a fighter, in reality he probably needs therapy, but his answer as an actor is always that Murphy is more *fun* and interesting to play when he's dark. His demons are part of him, he's not a happy person. He went back to the "vial of poison" metaphor he’s used before, like Venom it feels good and keeps him alive when he lets the poison in.

- ...But also thinking about mental illness consciously as a part of Murphy especially since season 5, there's a responsibility that comes with talking about it. (Actually one of the con staff jumped onto the mic and was talking about how important therapy was to his family and Richard was like “yes, thank you for taking what I said that way.”) He likes Murphy the way he is but he never wants to give off the idea that real people are beyond help. He was very emphatically like: help is out there, life is worth living right and being happy, and Murphy isn't beyond that but he can't get it because it's a TV show and it's more fun for him to be fucked-up.

- An audience member commented about how well Murphy seems to work and have an interesting relationship with every character on the show, from someone like Emori who he has a long relationship with to Abby who he only had a couple of scenes with. Richard appreciated that and said he's always liked that about Murphy, that you can throw him in with anyone and he's a great accessory. “Leaving Emori out” (thanks, question-asker) who is his favorite person to play off of? He answered Bellamy. He repeated what he's said before about thinking if Murphy was going to die, he (Richard) would want Bellamy to kill him. Bringing it full circle from when they both wanted each other dead, now it would be different but Bellamy would still have to be the one to put him down.

- I remembered something else! He talked about McCreary and how he would’ve liked to do more exploring the parallel between him and Murphy, which he acknowledged they didn’t go that far with. He thinks that Murphy saw and respected him in a weird way. They have the same kind of poison running through them, but for Murphy it’s something he really is trying to keep under control.

- He talked about how he always saw Murphy as very smart. Even from the beginning when he was described in the script as an idiot, he didn't want to play him that way. He's not educated but he's a chess player -- however, sometimes he gets impatient and jumps ahead moves. An audience member said they thought Murphy would make a good FBI agent or something in the real world, but Richard said he could just as easily be unemployed because he’d never get past a job interview.

- Audience member compared Murphy to Loki (mythical, not the Marvel one), but Richard said the figure he really based him on in the beginning was Lucifer -- I can’t remember the whole answer, but being like the fallen/cast-out one who was alongside Bellamy and then wanted to overthrow him. And then later Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z. ;)

OTHER RICHARD STUFF

- Like I said in another post, twitter user murphybeiiamy/Noemie had sold me her Richard Harmon VIP badge even though I was on a low budget since no one had offered her the ticket price for it. I am eternally grateful for that. I did witness the Memori Beer Pong thing in person. Other things included were the meet & greet which has its own post, solo photo and selfie... boy am I glad I chose to go for those on the right days, ‘cause I don’t think Emori + Insane St. Patrick’s Day Richard would’ve meshed as well as this: 

- I also got the Jealous Emori sequel to my UD photo op. They were so game for everything! They had taken their “honeymoon” picture shortly before this and left the flowers on for the rest of the session. *g* I should thank Lindsey Morgan again for the completely unnecessary wrapping-her-leg-around-me pose, because it’s the first thing they noticed in the picture and made sure to replicate it with Richard’s leg. XD

The next day I told him that I really appreciated everything he said on the panel about mental health and I feel the same conflict about just wanting Murphy to be okay but thinking then he's a better character *because* he is fucked up and that's why he's identifiable. I gave him the Murphy playlist, his eyes kind of perked up and glanced over at Luisa when I said I'd given her one too. I warned him his had more dark & sad songs on it than hers did (tbh I think his turned out better), and he was like that’s GOOD, he wants all the sad songs. So yeah... he seemed to be legit into it as a gift and I believe and hope he will also listen to it. <3

- Finally, if you made it to the end of this post, please watch this video of Richard Harmon and Chelsey Reist doing Jameson shots and casually donating $1000 between them to CURE Childhood Cancer. I love my chaotic-good son.

[ask-anyone-from-the-tick]

Bellow the cut are my spoilery thoughts after watching season 2 of the Tick

I’m kind of glad Dot turned out to have a super power because being the only hero with no powers is sort of Arthur’s whole thing. I also like that she didn’t outshine Overkill and just step over him, but still looks up to him a bit and appreciates his approval. They feel like equals, and he’s still an awkward turtle socially.

THEY WERE SO CUDDLY AND AWKWARD ON THE COUCH, Overkill is def the kind of guy who can’t move if there’s a pet on his lap. He’s so soft I can’t...

I LOVE that we get to see more of Joan and her relationship to her family, she’s awesome and I love and support her. She’s just doing her best, and I hope those lobster babies come to visit.

Superian and Larry’s relationship continues to baffle me just a bit. Larry seems to just be a willing servant to cater to his whims I guess. I kinda hoped they were more buddy buddy than that. Apparently it makes Superian feel better to toss him way up and catch him lawl

The way Hobbs reacted when Tick broke the arm wrestling machine thing makes me wonder if Tick is actually the strongest superhero in the world, maybe second only to Superian ??? Or at least the strongest ever registered with AEGIS.

I really, REALLY like Sage. He’s fantastic. He’s also really attractive, is it just me? DAT VOICE THO. [take me on a wild nipple ride! jk omg I’m sorry]

That twin woman who was impressed with Arthur’s nerdy organization came off as REALLY OBVIOUSLY flirting with him, and his reaction was to just shrug it off like he wasn’t in to her, even though she was gorgeous, and Tick immediately picked up on it that she was flirting and got DEFENSIVE AS HELL like she was taking Arthur away and I just-- that’s pretty gay guys. That’s really... wow. And then she comes back and continues to hit on Arthur and he never once acts like he’s in to her, I don’t... I don’t know what to say but if Arthur suddenly starts pining over her in season 3 out of no where I’m gonna kms [not because he’s not gay but because it’s pretty clear he’s not interested in this woman. Don’t establish this and then force romance after we’ve seen there’s none.] Also when Arthur was picking out fancy clothes Tick had REALLY specific fashion descriptions and opinions on what looked good on him. He was like enjoying Arthur modeling clothes ajdlfdjas

Someone needs to draw Overkill being lovingly rescued by dolphins STAT

I honestly, unironically, think Edgelord’s entire look is cool and he’s very handsome. I think he looks like if Johnny Depp and Adam Driver had a baby.

SUPERIAN FEARS THE TUMBLRS. We’re his kryptonite. 

Dangerboat... plane... whatever he is, kinda deserved a little more attention toward the last half of the season. The episode centered around him was the most emotional and it brought everyone together more, I really dug that. It made me cry. ALSO WE STAN MICHAEL, HE WAS TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD. I’m so proud of Arthur for seeing Dangerboat more as a person and making an effort to connect to him as a friend. <3 good job Arthur-- at the same time--

I HATE they way Arthur acted like Dot has a specific thing she should or shouldn’t be that was out of character. It’s like the writers wanted the female character to undergo some sort of oppression to rise up against, some form of misogyny from her male family member that she had to point out. You shouldn’t have to tear down a good character because he’s male, to make the female look good. If misogyny was gonna come out of Arthur, let it come out another way other than “this isn’t want you’re supposed to do” like mother fucker, she’s been taking care of you your whole life, she’s done martial arts training, she’s a paramedic, she is way more qualified than you. He’s the last person to talk that way to anyone and it’s pissing me the fuck off. He’s the one struggling with mental illness and no phyical ability to fight anyone, it makes no sense.

Arthur’s actor Griffin Newman, he just does such a fantastic job. The whole undercover scene was so perfectly on pitch, like... just the right level of second hand embarrassment and pride came outta me. He was so close to  blowing it because he’s an anxious person by nature, but he pulled it off and came off more as just an awkward criminal with tons of money that was just believably nerdy. I loved it, it was so funny. Please give him all the awards. And that scene where Tick is on one side of Lint, way too close to her, and Arthur is on the other, and they just work her forking nerves was so hysterical. I died. I think they need to play up that comedic chemistry more often because Tick and Arthur bounce off each other really well when they’re not busy trying to solve serious problems. 

Ok so the whole human furniture thing caught my eye immediately. The pose we are first introduced to is an infamaously disturbing pose by a real life serial killer who ate people and posed their bodies in weird positions and used them for sex and I forget what else. Anyway I tried to brush that off as coincidence, but then later on Dot and Overkill go to where they think this Duke guy’s lair is, and his house looks exactly like John Podesta’s house that had a statue of that EXACT same serial killer’s victim in that pose, and podesta’s walls were covered in creepy pedo art of little girls and drowning women. And the walls of Duke’s lair were covered in creepy human furniture art. I mean there are all kinds of parodies this season that are in your face, but I don’t think anyone who didn’t follow pizzagate carefully would catch this one.

Speaking of parodies OMFG I lost it when Superian reenacted that Superman scene where he’s like “Can you read my mind?” as he’s dragging the screaming guy across the night sky. 

Ugh, I’m so sad that Tick and Arthur don’t get to keep those precious baby lobsters, and where did they get all the cute toys?? I wanna think Joan picked those up for them. Kawaii lobster voice: “Joaaan!” Tick is such a good dad...  A family can be a giant Tick man, a moth boy, a hobo, a mimaw, and a bunch of singing lobsters. "SHE'S THE MOTHER OF OUR CHILDREN!" Tick drinks respect woman lobster mom juice.

I think I don’t know what to make of the reverse Green Goblin twist going on with Ms. Lint. The creepy voice is telling her to become a hero I guess, but not really? I think the joke is we think it’s telling her to be a hero, but really it’s teaching her to be a  better villain LMAO

I’m glad kevin has a power and he was welcomed to come help even before said power was revealed.-- woah wait where tf is Karamozov?? I gotta tweet his actor he loves this show and he wasn’t in this season ???

I don’t blame Dot for being upset they want to defrost The Terror, but at the same time due process is a thing. I don’t know how that would work in a society full of super powers though. Because the moment you defrost him he’s going to find a way to escape. He’s the oldest, and the worst super villain of all time. This is why I’m ok with the death penalty and killing villains lol

I was expecting Walter to be some sort of MK Ultra sleeper agent, but the plot twist was, that’s what Overkill would become I guess. And Lobstercules. OH BTW I think she’s voiced by the same actress who played Captain Liberty in the old Tick sitcom! “Walter isn’t Walter? My feet don’t feel so good.” Aw Tick

Ty Rathbone drinks respect mothers juice.

Acting agent commander doctor agent Hobbs, honestly I suspected he was the main villain like the moment he was headed toward Lobstercules because something about the lighting and the camera work seemed to telegraph that.

I bet the reason Ty Rathbone feeds his black hole heart monster mice, is because it requires frequent blood sacrifice and that's the smallest sacrifice he can think of that he can quickly just put in there and placate it and go on with his day. I don’t know if he’ll be season 3′s villain or if it’s the aliens that just came back to reclaim Superian. 

Which btw, I called that shit from season 1 episode 1. Superian showed up crash landing inside Big Bismuth which is the only thing that could trap him. He was a prisoner, probably because he did some bad shit, and he told Arthur he helps humanity because he just wants to be a good person. Like he wasn’t one before and now he wants to try to be one.

I want to talk about these, nearly involuntary dance parties Overkill rewards himself with... but I uh... I still can’t compute that that’s actual canon. That that’s a thing Overkill and Dangerboat enjoy together and he... he can’t seem to control himself when the music plays... And also that Dot AND Overkill both know how to floss dance... I just... wow...

Oh and that hug with Overkill made me an emotional mess, he just... he really needed that, thank you Dot.

This concludes my rant and ramble.

[buildridernews]

[Review] Kamen Rider Build - Episodes 21-24

It’s the middle of the month, so it must be time for me to finally be caught up on last month’s Build episodes! My excuse this time is that I’ve been watching Sentai. I mean hey, it’s good to give all toku some attention. 

This is really neither here nor there, but I gotta say, I am impressed that Blood Stalk still has a voice actor and a proper actor as separate entities. With Wizard it was clearly a case of "Okay, we revealed his true identity, let's ditch the voice actor" but they are dedicated to keeping this guy around. I appreciate that for some reason.

Also highly unrelated to everything in this review... did... did Sawa just establish, 23 episodes in, that there’s a fictitious currency in this show? Like, it’s referred to as a “Doruku” which could be Dork, or Dolk, or Dollark as Over-Time chose to call it. Sure! That falls nicely into my headcanon that Build takes place in the future. 

So, without making jokes, I’ve gotta really start us off with the thing that’s most important in the first half of this month: The Hazard Trigger, and the surprising amount of forms used with it. 

RabbitTank Hazard Form receives an eerie introduction that’s beautifully shot, and not only does he start off punching everyone in sight, but he also does something that I did not expect to be such a major deal: He kills off the Stag Hard Smash; Aoba. 

I’m most certainly going to be wrong because I’m blanking on it, but in all the shows where humans turn into monsters, they never actually die, do they? At least not to the hero. Or if they do, they probably stopped being human along the way. Like in Gaim, for example. Of course I’m not gonna forget Gaim. 

But Gaim involved humans who have been mutated into something inhuman. Here, Sento very clearly killed someone who was still a living, breathing human with thoughts, ambitions, and fears. After so much dedication towards protecting humanity and undoing the deaths caused by his former Katsuragi self, blood was on his hands that he couldn’t wash away. 

This episode really puts an emphasis on that weight as Sento spends much of it in a slump, even when the government has decided to settle things by having a one-on-one battle with Grease VS one of the Riders of Touto. Sento can’t bare to take part because of what he’s done. 

I think the most stunning scene in this episode is when he’s giving his respects to Aoba and is being so haunted by the memory of the incident that he collapses and seems close to vomiting - kudos to the actor. It’s a great and unsettling episode, especially because it’s almost entirely devoid of music. 

This also features a nice contrast as Kazumi shows how he’s coping. Unlike Sento, he’s very collected and tells him how Aoba was knowingly a tool for war - he died knowing the risks. However, since Aoba was his friend, he promises to kick his ass for Aoba once their duel begins. 

Despite the state he’s in, Sento is the one who has to do it for Touto. And I’ve gotta lighten up this review now that the heavier stuff is behind us. 

In order to prepare him for the fight, Soichi dumps a bunch of Fullbottles into Sento’s inventory, among them being the RoseCopter Form pair! This form is not particularly interesting on its own, but it is within the context of what it was originally supposed to be. 

GoldScorpion Form was meant to be released instead according to toy catalog listings, but just before this episode aired, Bandai decided to swap this in. According to CS Toys, Bandai simply said they were going in a different direction. Gonna be honest, they probably found RoseCopter a lot more... easy to come up with a combat style for. RoseCopter does what you expect, it’s got vine whipping and a rotor weapon. I don’t know what you’d do with gold bars. That’s really my only theory. 

In any case, I’m glad Stalk made reference to how many reds and greens Build swapped through. Oh and I guess TurtleWatch Form is technically a show form now, if you wanna get into those semantics. It’s not. It’s a game form. Anyway~ 

What’s interesting about this first episode is that it ends with the implication that some time has passed before the big duel. This is where the YouTube spinoff comes into play, and I am actually gonna talk about that since both parts are out! If you missed it, they were subbed by Genm Corp, who I understand are fine if you can’t wait for a more accurate translation, and I doubt anyone else is gonna sub these. 

So the YouTube spinoffs for Kamen Rider have so far been pretty skippable. Ghost tried making them tie into the show... in a way that still doesn’t make sense even in context, and Ex-Aid’s is pretty fun but also very skippable. This time, they used it to tell some semblance of a story. 

In these episodes, Sento makes use of the Fullbottles he was given to raise his Hazard Level and become stronger. Utsumi helps him, surprisingly, and even fights as Night Rogue (clever clever) to help out. 

This is where we get what I had assumed would be exclusive forms, but PhoenixRobo appeared in the show in January and RoseCopter JUST premiered, so SmaphoWolf Hazard Form is our exclusive I guess. Then in part 2 we get ToraUFO, KirinCyclone and KujiraJet, which were all fun combos. 

I am pretty pleased at how these turned out. They only have enough time to provide some fun fights, but there’s a surprising amount of story as we see Utsumi testing out the Kaiser System (pulling back in a thing from the winter movie), and even a bit of info on how some of these forms work. At least for part 1. 

This is supposed to be a 3 part thing, and much like the last two series, part 3 will be on the DVD release - I hope it’ll at least be worth the wait this time. There’s at least gonna be an exclusive form. 

The duel begins. Build and Grease fight for an entire episode, which is pretty interesting as far as episodes go, though they do try to break it up by including some flashbacks to moments leading up to this. 

Particularly, we learn that Sento is so concerned with claiming another life that he gives Misora the job of detonating his gear if he goes too far, which is pretty unexpected. It... kind of fits him wanting to prevent more deaths I suppose, but I’m glad they saw it fit to send in Ryuga to punch him instead. It’s pretty manly. 

We also learn that Kazumi’s amnesia was actually all a hoax! Which is a nice little twist that isn’t toooo surprising but it adds some nice depth to him. He just wants his bros to do better by being a tsundere. 

Even though Build won the duel against Grease, a wrench has been thrown in their civil plans. Seito has declared war, and they’re doing so with their own weaponized humans: Remocon Bro and Engine Bro. Yes, Bros or Bro’s is the proper spelling but the plural nature of that word is bugging me on a grammatical level. 

These two make a nice pair of badasses, but I hope they matter by the time they eventually get defeated, because as is they are pretty hard to consider as anything but a duo. I mean, I guess the Hard Smash are a trio of a similar nature, but they at least have more distinct personalities. 

Regardless, they cause trouble in Hokuto and Kiba of Kazumi’s gang is trying to stop them, only to get mercilessly trampled. It’s at this point I realize this episode is almost entirely just a Kazumi episode, as we see how he struggles against these bros and how much his own bros are also suffering. Even after a narrow rescue, Kiba dies, bringing us to just one more Hard Smash. 

And then there’s THIS asshole. 

Okay but seriously, can we just... admire how much of an edgelord Gentoku has become as of returning? In what seems like a relatively short time since he left the show, he’s back with a new Rider title, and a badass jacket draped over his shoulders that goes perfectly with his evil facial hair. He really embraced how much of an obvious villain he is. 

I dunno what the fuck happened but I guess that’s a good teaser for the Rogue blu-ray spinoff. Based on what we get to see I kinda wonder how much more of a twisted guy Utsumi is. He got his sweet catharsis here. 

But also as a nice detail I once again did not foresee, Kamen Rider Rogue is actually Namba’s “Make our own Kamen Rider” project, and it’s been made for Seito, which means we now have Riders for each nation. That’s pretty dope, tying that all together. 

It seems that Gentoku has really become a much more interesting and vague person now that he’s become a Rider. He’s putting aside revenge so that he can crush Touto and protect the country... which seems a lil counterproductive but I’m gonna guess he’s not quite right in the head right now, so I’ll give him a pass. 

All this means that Kazumi and Akaba have no choice but to join the heroes, but it feels like they’ll actually blend in, potentially. I mean, it seems like Kazumi has learned to admire the passion Sento fights with, and even admits to being inferior because of it. So I’m pretty happy to see them working together, as opposed to going “Okay, we’re doing this trope”. 

They need to stick together if they stand a chance against Rogue. Always on the move, Pandora’s Box has made its way to Rogue, and he intends on opening it once he defeats Build. But with how much he overpowers him even with the Hazard Trigger, what’s stopping him?! 

Oh. That’d do it. 

So that’s one hell of a cliffhanger to end this review on. What’s going on with Misora?! I’m not even gonna watch episode previews for this one, I wanna see what the show does firsthand! See you again soon for another Build review! 

[moved-to-moothebloo]

Ninjago Season 1, 2, and 3 Analysis  (Part 1)

Season 1 /  Rise of the Serpentine

Summary:

The first season of Ninjago, Rise of the Serpentine, 13 episodes are dedicated to our main characters Kai, Cole, Jay, and Zane stopping ancient race of evil snakes from destroying the world from a bigger snake, while trying to deal with Lord Garmadon’s son, learning to get stronger on the way, and who is going to be the destined Green Ninja.

By the sounds of that summary, this sounds very weird and cluttered, and trust me, there are much more things this season throws in, like a mysterious Samurai who is also trying to stop the snakes, the ninja trying to find their “true potential,” and Wu bringing the evil Lord Garmadon from the... wherever he was. Yes, this sounds like a big mess, but for a kids show, it actually balances everything out very well.

The pacing in this season is spot on, and makes it very easy to follow, while also keeping us interested enough to know what was going to happen. Everything is there for a purpose, Lloyd Garmadon, a kid who seems very useless throughout most of the season, actually ends up becoming an important main character. The show never feels like it gets slower or faster, it all flows very nicely. The episodes that are dedicated to exploring our main characters still have stuff happening in them so they aren’t pointless.

Speaking of characters, for a kids shows about lego ninjas, the characters are a lot of fun too! The cast is small so it’s very easy to focus on them equally and give all of them good character development, even the side characters do have some stuff too, like how the Samurai turns out to be Nya, which I really appreciate. For a kids show clearly being directed twords boys, it would’ve been really easy to write her off as a character who does nothing, but she does help. A whole episode is dedicated to her beating the ninja into the ground.

The villain of this show is simply put, amazing. The Serpentine are alright, they all have unique traits and all, but the one everyone remembers is Pythor. And for good reason, he’s a lot of fun. The voice actor Michael Dobson is doing a fantastic job, and you can tell he is enjoying every second of it. Pythor is very fun to watch in the way he’s animated and just how deliciously evil he is. Manipulating anyone he wants, kidnapping children, a possible cannibal! The ability to swallow people whole and to disappear with camouflage makes him terrifying to any child watching him on the screen. Pythor is everything a kids show villain is supposed to be.

The main characters also get a lot of good stuff. Zane is probably the best character in this season. He is already an interesting character in the way he acts, and the voice acting is pretty good too, but any Ninjago fan will say that the episode “Tick Tock” is one of the best episodes in the entire show, and yeah it’s pretty good! The episode continues in it’s silly vibe of the show, but also has a lot of heart and effort put into it. All the other characters get that treatment too. My personal favorite is Kai’s arc in Episode 10, “The Green Ninja.”

In fact, that’s how I can describe this whole season. Silly, but has a lot of heart and effort.

Season Rating:   8.4 / 10

Season 2 / The Final Battle

Summary:

The Serpentine have been defeated, and Garmadon has gotten away and ready to plan how he’s going to defeat the ninja and take control of the world. Meanwhile, Lloyd has to train to be the Green Ninja that saves the world in the future, while the Ninja fight off Garmadons plans at world domination.

You know how the first season has a lot of details but still managed to balance everything out? Well. This season has a pretty simple plot, but somehow is a lot more clustered and uninteresting than the first season.

The first season had a lot of silly things in it, but still managed to flow things naturally, and in a way that only focused on things that mattered. This season spends half of its episodes with meaningless plots and stories that go no where, almost as if the people who were making the show were just dry on ideas, and just made episodes based on kids shows cliches, like an episode where they have to fight evil versions of themselves, an episode where they fight pirates, where they turn into kids, even an episode where they join in some kind of racing competition. And while the episodes, I guess aren’t completely pointless because they do focus on Gamradon with the weapons... a little bit. It isn’t enough to make me care. And halfway through the season he looses the weapons anyway sooo... that was all pointless!

The one episode that was good in this group of trash was episode 5 “Child’s Play” Where it is a little entertaining, and there is a thing that happens that does affect the rest of the story.

The other half of the season, episodes 7-13, while are better, still aren’t great. Important story elements do end up coming together, and the ending episodes are really great! But there are still a lot of problems. The pacing still isn’t right, there are a lot of episodes that feel very slow in pacing, and the new villain characters are not enough to save it. One thing I can say about them are the climax episodes, which has a superb finale. Season one had a great Part 1 hype episode, but a disappointing finale, this climax has not just a great part one and two, but THREE awesome climax episodes that are really really fun to watch, and leave you on the edge of your seat. The fight to get to the Overlord ontop of the tower in the final episode does everything you can do with a final episode.

Speaking of the villains, lets talk about them.

The stone army doesn’t really have much of an identity like the Serpentine, and are pretty forgettable. The Overlord, and I know a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this, but I think he’s really boring in this season. He just kind of floats around obviously tricking Garmadon to do what he wants, he’s not at all threatening until the final episode, which is a long time to wait for a villain to become slightly interesting.

Garmadon is probably the one good thing going on. His relationship with his family and how he’s split between wanting to rule the world, but not wanting to hurt his son, is very interesting, while the first season had this too, and did it very well, this is more interesting. However, most of the time in the season he doesn’t really do anything other than play pranks on the ninja and sit while his minions do all the work. And when it’s his time to fight, like an idiot, he gets tricked by the Overlord.

The main characters don’t really get a lot of more interesting developments, except for Zane, Llyod, and Garmadon. The main four most of the time are just cracking jokes and fighting bad guys, nothing else most of the time.

To sum up the season, It isn’t really that entertaining in the long run, and is really hard to be interested in, you can skip the first few episodes and start at Child’s Play to be less bored. It still manages to have some really awesome moments, especially near the end, of the season, but other than than there isn’t that much to see.

Season Rating:   2.3 / 10

Season 3 / Rebooted

Summary:

We skip into the future since the battle against the Overlord, and the ninja seem to not be needed anymore while Ninjago gets more advanced in technology. But when the Ninja go to visit Ninjago City, they are tasked by Cyrus Borg to defeat the Overlord who has returned in the form of code.

Talk about a very unusual season.

This season has some of the weirdest choices I’ve ever seen in the show. Bring in a bunch of different characters, “reboot” an entire location in the show, and make the characters go to some of the weirdest places and do the weirdest things. And the weirdest thing is.. it actually kind of works! .... to an extent.

(Edit: Ok I have A LOT to say about this season, this is going to be a long analysis because this season had a lot of new stuff in it. You have been warned.)

So, what’s good about it. Oddly enough, it’s how you never know what’s gonna happen. The show does do a good job on keeping you guessing and sometimes even in suspense, which is really difficult for a kids show to pull off. Also I want to mention the pacing. This isn’t the kind of pacing we’ve seen in the past two seasons. The pacing in this season is much quicker, which is probably because this season has fewer episodes than the past ones, but like I said before, it still works. In fact, I prefer this faster pacing over the slower pacing of before. It fits the silly power ranger style adventure vibe of the show.

The best thing I can say about this season is the action. When these episodes have to  In the episode “Enter the Digiverse” we are greeted with an episode where the ninja are about to fight the Overlord again, the side characters have to fight off an entire army, AND Lloyd is trying to fight off not dying in a weird draining glass thing. It’s pretty intense, and amazing! My personal favorite is in “Blackout” where everyone is flipping around, getting stuck, getting trapped, and Zane can’t completely fight. It’s a lot of fun to watch.

Another thing I want to add is that this season seemed to take a lot more chances. As in, this was the start of new characters being added all the time. It wasn’t just one season we would get a Lloyd, and then the next, a Dareth. Now, it’s a bunch more. So lets talk about them.

Garmadon, now as a good guy, is a really good character! To be honest, even as a kid I never really enjoyed Garmadon. He just seemed like a cliche villain to me. But him as a good guy, is much more entertaining than before. He’s funny, he’s awesome, he’s a fully developed character! He’s just a great character. I love the relationship he has with his son, and seeing them journey outside of Ninjago is very interesting to watch as we get to know his character in very subtle ways. I don’t get it, THIS is the guy who was overshadowed by Wu? I don’t know what else to say. You love him, I love him, next characters.

Pythor and the Overlord come back, and they are actually pretty good! Even the Overlord, who I didn’t really like in season 2 actually is very threatening in this season. I love the scene were he crawls out of the coffin thing, just for how freaked out I was when I first saw that scene. Pythor is also pretty good in this too. He’s not as awesome as he was in season one, but really that’s just because we don’t see him a lot in this one.

And once again. Michael Dobson still does a fantastic job.

Next we have Cyrus Borg, and this guy is one of my favorite characters in the entire show. This guy is such a lovable character. Every time this guy is on screen I get a big smile on his face. You can tell the voice actor, Lee Tockar, is really trying to show off this guys wonderful bubbly personality. And the best thing is, he’s not just a one dimensional character. He does feel guilty for everything that happens in the season. He has dreams, he has fears, he has things he doesn’t want to loose. He’s just great. Now.. with Pixal.

... Dang it! I’m sorry, I really tried to like this character. But this is the most pointless character in the show! I get if you just want to give Zane a love interest, but couldn’t you have made her a bit more interesting?At least Skylor, even though she was just there to make Kai gush, she at least had a purpose and a little bit of an identity. Pixal is the most standard character you could’ve put here. Why couldn’t it have been a girl who was human, and then was made with robot parts, giving Zane a reason to be interested in her. There, I just created a more interesting character in ten seconds then you guys did in months.

I will be honest though, even though I don’t like the character, Zane and Pixal are pretty adorable together. Yeah it’s not really that believable considering Zane really has no reason to like her, but they still have some really good chemistry.  One reason why I really like the episode “Blackout” is because I love the idea of two people needing eachother in order to fight, just like Ruby and Sapphire, another adorable couple. But I think the reason it works is because Zane caring deeply about anyone is already adorable by itself, so that does lift some weight on Pixal’s part. So.. yeah, it’s good.

We get a love triangle in this... a completely pointless and forced one that has nothing to do with anything. Just like Pixal and Zane, there is no real reason for Cole to want Nya, they never had any special moments in the past or any interest at all. It’s the literal definition of forced. However I don’t hate it as much as everyone else does. Because, to be fair we do get some funny scenes from it, and it’s not like they focus on it for that long. I don’t know, I personally don’t really mind that much, but I don’t think we need another.

And of coarse, I can’t hide the elephant in the room for any longer, the finale. The big scene near the end, we all know what I’m talking about. Zane’s death. Now this finale episode was already pretty good, I can’t say it’s as good as season 2 because it takes about 15 minutes to get to the Overlord, and them trying to get off the moon isn’t really that funny silly, instead, just more stupid. But once it gets going its very entertaining. The Diet pill joke is hilarious not only by itself, but their plan being to stop the most evil thing in the world by just making it small is really funny and perfectly describes what this show is going for in terms of mood.

But yeah. The death scene. And to be honest, what can I say about it that no one else has already said.

It’s kind of hard for me to judge how sad this scene is, considering this guy was my childhood favorite character, and seeing him die like this is going to spark some emotions in you no matter how the scene is done. But let me try my best to remove the nostalgia goggles and look at this from a critiquing view.

Rewatching it, not thinking about the past, having no connection with this character, I still have to admit, It’s still pretty awesome.

I think the thing that really sells this scene here is the soundtrack music. To truly understand how amazing this music is, just listen to it without any visuals. This is a link to the soundtrack song to this scene. Don’t even look at the screen, just listen to it, because it’s really amazing in terms of instrumentals, and timing.

So. I just said a bunch of stuff, what do I think of this season?

I think for what it is, it’s good! This season really tries to do a lot. And most of it works! I really appreciate it when something tries to do something different because it shows they are not afraid to fail. Does this have problems? Definitely. But is it enough to ruin the season? Not really.

Season Rating:   6.8 / 10

Ok that is a Full Critic’s Analysis of Ninjago seasons 1, 2, and 3. Part Two will be dedicated to seasons 4, 5, 6, and even 7! So look out for that!

Sorry if I wasted your time, because in the end, this is just my opinion. Honestly, I’m not expecting this to really get any attention because who would care about some rando’s opinion. But I promise I can and will try to make my opinions worthwhile. Thank you for reading, if you have your own opinions, you can share them! Everyone is allowed to share their own opinion because Ninjago is about bringing people together!

@eyeofthewolfe @ninjamelissajulien @textsfromninjagoblog

[ampelmensch]

I’ve been tagged by @gaietygirl (thank you!) and while most of you know I’m not very good with tags, I try to finish this one (you won’t be able to read this anyway if I don’t finish it lmao)

Nickname: Alex, Qley on the internet

Zodiac sign: Gemini

Height: 174cm

Last thing you googled: I searched for Jonah Hill because I wanted to know what his mother and siblings were called..... there was a shitpost on my dashboard, that’s all I’m going to say about it.

Favourite music artist: This is a difficult one because I don’t really have “a” favourite artist, I have a bunch of musicians I’m very fond of but I’m also open to new things. I guess I’ll give this one to Patrick Wolf though, because 1) his music means a lot to me and 2) he’s probably the only artist I have every single album of? As in, physical copies. Also I’d appreciate it if he made new music, we are all starved, Patrick. 

Song stuck in your head: I Monster - Heaven

Last movie you watched: I don’t remember tbh, I’m very bad with watching anything for some reason. But I did watch the first episode of Still Star Crossed a few days ago, does that count? 

What are you wearing right now: A grey tank top with a fennec fox print and jeans shorts.

Why did you choose your URL: I think I’ve told this story before, but there’s a song called Strassen by German singer-songwriter Spaceman Spiff where he sings about Ampelmännchen (the little figures you see in traffic lights for pedestrians) and I frequently misheard that as him singing “Ampelmenschen”. I was 14 and pretentious and thought this was edgy enough to fit me. I thought about changing it before but at this point, I’m really attached to it.

Do you have any other blogs: I have tons of sideblogs that I’d love to use, but the only one I’m really active on is @fadingemeralds. It’s a RWBY fandom blog.

What did your last relationship teach you: Lol as if anybody would want to date me.

Religious or spiritual: Personally, I am neither, but I can see the appeal of both. 

Favourite colour: How am I supposed to pick just one when they are all magnificent? I tend to prefer blue and green hues though apparently. Except khaki, khaki is fucking ugly.

Average hours of sleep: At the moment, 10+ because I’m not exactly in the best of places mentally. Also because I am able to. 

Lucky number: Don’t have one. Numbers never did anything for me. But I like 21 because that’s how old I’m gonna be in a few days. 

(Lesser known) favourite character: Uuuh... I mean, I haven’t read a book in ages and there are like five people in the “The Librarians” fandom, so I’ll go with Ezekiel Jones. I love him and I love this show, even if it’s a bit cheesy (also not to brag but TWO WOMEN KISSING in a FAMILY SHOW, your fave could never). 

How many blankets do you sleep with: Only one blanket, but three pillows and a broccoli plush. 

Dream job: Actor, especially in musicals, but I don’t have the voice to do that professionally lmao. In any case, I’d like to pursue it as a hobby. I don’t have much of an idea beyond that yet tbh. There are so many things I’d like to try, I don’t even know where to start.

Not gonna tag anybody because I’m too awkward about it, but if you like these questions, please feel welcome to do them <3

[ostermahaus]

It’s Morphin’ Time!  Eventually... Power Rangers Review

Saban’s Power Rangers opens darkly.  You see a blasted torn up landscape of prehistoric Earth with the Red Ranger dragging himself across it, obviously injured.  He crawls to the Yellow Ranger, also lying prone who morphs into an alien and hands her coin to him, telling him to hide it before dying in his arms.  Yikes.  He morphs into Zordon (Bryan Cranston) and puts his coin with the others he’s carrying, instructing Alpha via communicator to fire a meteorite at his current location.  He turns to find himself face to face with a female Green Ranger named Rita (Elizabeth Banks) who he accuses of being a traitor and killing his team.  She boasts that she’s won when Zordon informs her it’s too late and a meteor comes crashing down on them sending her to the bottom of the sea.  Also wiping out the dinosaurs, I presume.  I guess nuking from orbit was the only way to be sure. Smash cut to a bunch of jocks leading a bull into a locker room as a prank and we meet Jason Scott (Dacre Montgomery) who informs us that he calmed the cow down by milking it.  Womp womp.  Your protagonist can’t tell an udder from a dong, not a great start.  The cops show up and after the most nausea inducing go-pro car chase I’ve ever encountered (Seriously, I saw Gravity on the UltraScreen in 3D and this almost made me vomit) he gets in a horrific wreck and we have a title screen. Go go Power Rangers?  If you never watched the show this may seem exciting.  If you did, well here’s why it might not be what you were expecting.

 Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers hit children in 1993 with a blast of popularity that overpowered the Ninja Turtles and kept kids riveted until Pokemon came along at the end of the decade!  A Japanese import, it was cheesy, silly, campy and formulaic and pre-teens ate it up!  As well as some teens.  I was just hitting the age where I felt like I was outgrowing Saturday morning/after school shows (Thank God that phase didn’t last) so I was never a die hard fan, but I knew enough people that were that I kept abreast of the original shows run.  I watched a fair number of episodes with my friends more due to our love of riffing it a la Mystery Science Theater 3000 than anything else…  Although I will admit that Kimberly (Amy Jo Johnson)  kept me on board a bit as well.  The premise was simple.  Five teenagers from Angel Grove are given magic coins that allow them to morph into Power Rangers.  Spandex clad ninjas with full coverage helmets who can summon robot dinosaurs called Zords and merge them Voltron style into a giant Mega Zord to win the day.  They answer to Zordon, a giant holographic head, and fight the monsters that Rita Repulsa repeatedly sends down from the moon.  Ninjas, dinosaurs and giant robots.  It was famous for the obvious cut between the American actors doing their day to day thing and the original Japanese footage being used once they were in costume.  Ever wonder why Kimberly was the only Ranger wearing a skirt?  Because the Yellow Ranger in that Japanese footage is a dude.  (The more you know!)  That’s all you needed and it’s still on the air in some iteration to this day!  Why mess with a good thing?  If it’s not broke, right?

 Unfortunately Hollywood is following a current and overused trend of trying to make things dark and gritty when they reboot them right now.  That’s not to say it can’t work, but it really feels like a forced excutive decision by the movie companies some times.  This new Power Rangers update has a lot of things that work really well for it as they try to make a serious and less campy approach to one of the most popular cheese fests ever.  They also make some big missteps.  I know that Zordon famously asked for “teenagers with attitude” in the original and wound up with the nicest kids in town, but this version makes an over correction by having three of them meet in detention and one of them just not go to school at all.  Turns out Jason has to wear an ankle bracelet now and report to detention for the rest of the year and lost all sorts of football scholarships.  As soon as he walks in he sees Billy (RJ Cyler) being bullied for OCD behavior arranging things on his desk.  Jason puts a stop to it and Billy immediately declares him his new best friend for sticking up for him!  I really liked Billy in this movie, but they make a very clear point early on to have him state that he’s on the autism spectrum and they play it pretty well until he becomes a Ranger.  Then it just seems to disappear and he’s merely giddy all the time.  He’s adorkable, sure, and probably the most likeable character but it would have been nice to see them stick to his spectrum tendencies.  Jason is fairly dismissive until he offers to use his skills to hack Jason’s ankle bracelet in order for them to hang out.  How all true friendships begin!

 Next we meet Kimberly Heart (Naomi Scott) who was set up by her cheerleader ‘friends’ for an incriminating picture that’s been circulating around school and they show up to inform her that she no longer gets to be a plastic.  It makes her so angry that she gives herself a kicky new haircut in the bathroom that Jason is immediately smitten by when she returns from the restroom!  After Billy hacks the ankle device, he and Jason go into a restricted area of the gold mine outside Angel Grove because apparently Billy likes to blast there.  Even though it’s an active mine with security.  Shrug  While Billy is setting his charges, Jason goes off to hike around and spies Kimberly cliff diving while We get Zack (Ludi Lin) and Trini (Becky G.) dropped in as just random kids who are also hanging out in an active work zone after dark.  Her to practice her Karate Kid poses and him to watch her through binoculars.  Like you do.  Anyway, Billy’s blast draws them all and they discover 5 glowing coins embedded in the rock.  After cutting them out, they each grab one and then alarms go off, summoning security and another slightly less vomit inducing chase that AGAIN ends in a horrific crash, this time with a train.  The next morning they all wake up at home with no injuries and no knowledge of how they survived the wreck, plus sick abs and super strength!  Wanna know how they managed that without being seen?  Or what Billy’s mom’s reaction is to the destruction of HER van?  (You see the wreck later on being pulled off the tracks)  You’re out of luck!  Anyway, they get together and decide to go back to try to find answers about the coins and discover a buried spaceship manned by Alpha 5 (Bill Hader) and Zordon’s memory in the ship’s computer.  He informs them that they’re the Power Rangers and they need to learn to defend the universe once they can learn to morph!  Eventually…

 I don’t know if it came with the casting of Bryan Cranston but the biggest drawback of this film is that at 2 hours almost every minute of the Rangers suited up has been shown in the trailers because it only happens in the films final action scene, similar to my beef with Godzilla not having enough Godzilla.  There are training montages aplenty and I really did appreciate the effort it made to give the core cast some substance behind there characters that wasn’t there before, but it’s pace could best be described as deliberate.  The film seems to work the best when it’s trying to have some fun and not brooding so much, which is all too often.  The scene of all the nerd kids idolizing Billy after he knocks out a bully without trying and then being in awe when he gets pulled from the table by Kimberly?  Great!  Fun little scene, use more moments like that as opposed to repeated instances of people mispronouncing Trini as DeeDee.  ???  I assume it’s a joke but I just don’t get it and boy do they keep pushing it.  I wish they had done more with Zack as he had a lot of potential in his backstory.  He doesn’t attend school any more because you find out he’s caring for his terminally ill mother but aside from that reveal he just gets all the “I’m gonna shout quips!” style lines.  Don’t try taking a drink every time he calls Trini “Crazy Girl”, it won’t end well.  Jason is fine in his role as the leader, but as is the curse of the leader role (Cyclops, Leonardo), is pretty bland.  Kimberly and Trini are both solid female role models although I wish they would have come right out with Trini’s sexuality/crush on Kimberly rather than just heavily alluding to it.  Although I was disappointed by him dropping the autism traits halfway through, I thought Billy in the second half was the most relatable character.  He’s just so giddy every time they bring up the fact they get to be Rangers!

 I was not a fan of the design choices for Alpha and the Zords.  Alpha was thankfully less obnoxious than the original, but his super long arms on the tiny body just looked weird and creepy.  Props to Hader for making me not hate him!  The Zords…  I couldn’t tell what I was looking at.  I’ll be honest, aside from the T-Rex and the Pterodactyl they could have been anything.  I had to go online after the movie because I couldn’t remember if the Triceratops was Blue or Black because I couldn’t tell them apart.  Turns out it’s Blue.  For as many montages as we were dealt and given the movies run time, I’d have preferred to see them learning their suits and Zords right off the bat as opposed to trying and failing to Morph a half dozen times and then finally getting it right just in time for the final battle where they go in operating things they’ve never used before.  I know I’m overthinking it, but I hate when people just innately know how to use things like that.

 Lastly we come to the villains.  I’ve got really mixed feelings on this part.  I appreciate they wanted to take it more seriously, and I like what they did with Rita but DAMN.  They may have made her a bit too intense for the audience that’s generally associated with Power Rangers!  Banks is great and and she is wonderfully creepy and terrifying but there is a scene where she’s killed some police officers and you see that she’s ripped the teeth out of one and has dismembered/is CANNIBALIZING the other.  This is while she’s still in her slightly mummified state after a fishing boat pulls up her body and it’s horror movie levels of creepy as she gets her power back to create Goldar.  Because he’s made of gold, see?  I don’t quite get her power set because at first she’s brutally murdering people for their gold, then eating it (WTF?) then just pointing at it and drawing it to her in liquid form.  At least she gets to say “Make my monster grow.”

 Overall, it’s not bad.  It’s not as action packed as you’d expect, but what references do show up are all well placed and fun.  You get some cameos and throwback lines.  Ay-yi-yi and what not.  My favorite reference was when two boys were arguing who got to be the Red Ranger while they’re playing and Trini tells them, “Why not Yellow?”  “That’s a girl!”  “How do you know?”  lol  Love the message and the nod to the original Yellow I mentioned earlier, but unfortunately undercut by the obvious sculpted boob armor on Pink and Yellow…  Best moment, bar none, was when they played the original theme.  Unfortunately it’s just one refrain then back to generic orchestration, but the theater I was in was electrified when it came on!  I’m not made of stone, that riff is freaking amazing.  You could tell everyone was a bit bummed when it didn’t continue throughout the fight.  As usual anymore, stay through the credits.  There’s a mid credit scene that I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to call before it happens but it’s there.  LOL at the guys behind me talking loudly throughout the film complaining about the very thing the scene was about and leaving before it happened.  That’s what you get for being terrible movie attendants!  If you were a fan of the show as a kid, I think you’ll have a great time!  If you’re bringing your kids because of how much YOU loved it…  Just be aware it gets really dark and creepy in places and might move a bit slow if they have to wait over 90 minutes to see any Morphin’ Time.

[freohrdatia]

tagged by @thespectacularspecter

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself

last 1. drink - uhh either water or Good Belly Blueberry Acai juice 2. phone call - it wasn’t even a call I made, lol. my husband and I were shopping, he couldn’t bring his phone probably because it was low on battery. He had a question for his mother (we were running an errand for her) so he called her from my phone 3. text message - my dad! he was talking to me about a song one of my brothers sang, possibly for a talent show? and told me I’m the only child now to not show off my vocal talent and told me he’s waiting >.> 4. song you listened to - Hills Like White Elephants - Isles & Glaciers (I mean the last music I heard was the 2nd teaser for BTS Fake Love but I’m not sure that counts here~) 5. time you cried - not that long ago? idr how not-long ago. I’m a baby though.

ever 6. dated someone twice - dated as in two individual dates, or as in breaking up with somebody then returning to them? if the first, yeah, if the second, no. 7. kissed someone and regretted it - nope. The only person I’ve kissed is my husband, I better not regret it 8. been cheated on - I’d say “not as far as I know” but I’m confident enough to say “no.” 9. lost someone special - idk how loose the term “special” is, but yes. 10. been depressed - I’ve had a much sadder period in my life before, but idk if it would count as depression. 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - nope

fave colours 12. brown 13. burgundy 14. some sort of green. probably celadon/sage green or dark teal

in the last year have you… 15. made new friends - I think so 16. fallen out of love - no 17. laughed until you cried - most likely 18. found out someone was talking about you - maybe? it’s not quite something I find out about often, but a year is a long time for me to try to remember all of 19. met someone who changed you - uhh... don’t think so? My life’s been pretty stable lately 20. found out who your true friends are - don’t think so 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - I don’t really.... have one~

general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - same as above 23. do you have any pets - ok so. 1 dog. 1 cat. 1 snake. 2 geckos. 5 goats. 38 chickens (16 of which are a new flock we just got that I’ve been raising lately and THEY’RE SO WONDERFUL I love them) 24. do you want to change your name - I’m still meaning to change my name to “my last name - husband’s last name”.... We’re supposed to do that soon because I want to do that before I work on getting my passport. 25. what did you do for your last birthday - juggled a bunch of places to go to. I ate out, shopped, hung out at a park near the school @thespectacularspecter had a meeting at, and hung out at a nice coffee shop before heading back home and playing video games ^o^ 26. what time did you wake up today - LATE. I went back to sleep after my alarm (just to keep me on a regular sleep schedule) went off because I haven’t been sleeping well lately. I got up at like... 9:35am? I’m supposed to get up at 8am every morning. 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - either sleeping or attempting to sleep 28. what is something you can’t wait for - BTS COMEBACK. BTS CONCERT. GEN CON. @roymblog IS VISITING US SOON. Also I’m going to my brother’s graduation so that’ll not only be fun but I’ll also get to see my high school and familiar teachers again. 30. what are you listening to right now - music! Tomorrow - BTS 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - uh...... I’m trying to remember. I think I knew a Tom before. It’s not actually a name I’ve encountered in person that often. 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - atm? lately? nothing, I don’t think. 33. most visited website - in terms of the entirety of my life, Serenes Forest Forums. I’ve been on that forum for 10 years. 34. hair colour - Black. Not pure black but more just a natural looking black. Just the tiniest hints of brown. 35. long or short hair - long 36. do you have a crush on someone - does park jimin count? Not somebody I’d seek a serious future with since 1. I’m married 2. he’s an idol, but jimin is still amazing 37. what do you like about yourself - ever since I’ve started working and being exposed to other people, I’ve recently gotten comparisons to come to appreciate the amount of patience I have. I kept wondering why I kept coming across so many impatient people, but then I realized it’s probably just that I have an ungodly amount of patience in me.

Although, the amount of patience I have largely depends on the context~ 38. want any piercings? - don’t currently want, but I’m not turned off by the idea 39. blood type - I think O-? O for sure, though. 40. nicknames - Kate or Katie 41. relationship status - married 42. zodiac - taurus 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - I can’t remember all I’ve been exposed to lately enough, but I know Gotham’s been pretty great. I still quite love Avatar the Last Airbender, too. 45. tattoos - have none, don’t have any plans for any, but again it’s not something I’m against 46. right or left handed - right 47. ever had surgery - never 48. piercings - none! 49. sport - none currently. I’ve played softball before. I’m awful at bowling but I enjoy it and would like to do it more. high key want to get into contemporary/ballet because jimin is an inspiration, but nowhere offers classes for my age~ 50. vacation - have had, or want? There have been plans to go to Germany and potentially China. Dream locations are New Zealand and Japan and Ireland and..... basically anywhere tbh. There’s a reason ISFPs are called adventurers. I’ve been poor all my life, so I’ve never been off this continent except for one time we accidentally landed on Vancouver Island. 51. trainers - I don’t wear any casually, and I don’t really pay attention to what kind of shoes I have for exercising or for the barn. So I guess I can’t really say anything on this one? >u>

more general 52. eating - what about eating? uhhhhh well just now I had leftover spaghetti and some clementines. And this morning I had toast! 53. drinking - by the time I’ve reached this question (since the “last drink” earlier) it’s just water 54. i’m about to watch - either random stuff that pique my interest on youtube or Orphan Black once we have dinner 55. waiting for - EVERYTHING I LISTED IN “something you can’t wait for.” It’s funny that I “can’t wait” for them, but I’m “waiting” for them anyway. 56. want - to return to making money in Guild Wars 2 after I finish filling this out. There’s a kitsune mount skin that I need to make LOTS AND LOTS of money to buy, so I’ve been dedicating my attention to that lately because the red fox is my favorite animal and Ninetales (along with Vulpix) is my favorite pokemon 57. get married - already am 58. career - .... housewife?

which is better 59. hugs or kisses - both are great, but I really do love hugs. 60. lips or eyes - eyes can be so pretty 61. shorter or taller - no preference 62. older or younger - no preference 63. nice arms or stomach - hm. still no preference? 64. hookup or relationship - I’m a romantic. relationship. 65. troublemaker or hesitant - uhhhhhhh. Troublemaker is a good complement to my own personality. But thanks to my personality I don’t really want to get into trouble. The only problem is if there’s another hesitant person I’d probably never go anywhere in my life. But I think I will side with hesitant.

have you ever 66. kissed a stranger - no 67. drank hard liquor - don’t think I’ve ever been given hard liquor to sample, no 68. lost glasses - during the short period I wore glasses instead of contact lenses, I can imagine I probably have at least once 69. turned someone down - Sort of?? I guess the answer is yes. Just the situation was a bit more complicated than “do u wanna date” “no sry” 70. sex on first date - I have not I’m not that cool 71. broken someone’s heart - I don’t think so? 72. had your heart broken - in a roundabout way, sort of but I don’t quite think it was on levels of “heartbreak” 73. been arrested - no 74. cried when someone died - Somebody I knew from high school committed suicide. That was one of the most miserable moments of my life. And one of the most life-changing. I think it was sort of involved in my conversion from religious->atheist (although I eventually became agnostic) 75. fallen for a friend - yes. one of them became my husband.

do you believe in 76. yourself - sometimes, but I don’t trust my judgement often 77. miracles - probably depends on the definition of “miracle.” There are events that happen that I would call a “miracle” 78. love at first sight - I mean, maybe it could happen, but I certainly wouldn’t think that’s a common occurrence. 79. santa claus - my dad tried to make sure I believed in him for a really long time. He had his belief in santa claus ruined pretty early on in his life and he said that ruined one of the huge joys of his childhood, so he tried to make sure his children could experience that joy for a really long time. 80. kiss on a first date - I don’t think that’d be too much of a problem, so I wouldn’t say I don’t believe in it. I personally tend to be more slow-moving than that though. 81. angels - Kim Taehyung. But as for actual spiritual angels, I have no clue if they truly exist or not!

other 82. best friend’s name - rae my bae 83. eye colour - very dark brown 84. fave movie - I..... am not sure, tbh. 85. fave actor - again, something I’m not sure about! I guess I’ve quite consistently liked Alan Tudyk though, and Neil Patrick Harris. And I’ve only seen him in one thing, but Hugh Laurie has left a lasting impression on me.

Well, have you been tagged for this yet @robotsfromouterspace? I will tag you for this, if you’d like to participate!