#but at least im not anxious anymore :)

[monkiebois]

Stop being scared just draw.

do it scared, do it angry, just draw.

[protosstar]

.

[cliveguy]

the cycle of trying to get mental help on the nhs is like go to doctor during mental health crisis -> they admit you need serious help and put you on a list -> mental health services are so busy it takes them a year to call you -> when they call you they tell you theyre too busy to help but can refer you to group therapy 2 hours away for grief counselling (you lost a loved one 5 years ago) or alcoholics anonymous (you mentioned you drink on the weekend) -> answer further questions that concern them enough that they concede and get you a therapist -> you have 6 weeks of the worst cbt imaginable -> at the end the therapist says you can either take ssris or be marked as treatment resistant -> you refuse the ssris because you hate them -> you get discharged and left to suffer with mental health that has spiralled even further since when you first got referred -> suffer in silence for a few years until you reach your breaking point -> go back to doctor -> waiting list for mental health services has doubled but they put you on it anyway and try to force and ssri prescription on you

[expressingexperience]

i feel like breaking down but truly there's not much left in me to break

[racing-twinks]

So I went to the doctor last week and got told I have diabetes, then spent a week in hospital to try get my blood sugar levels back to normal, only to get out of hospital and have my bloodsugar immediately go crazy again... like what do you mean I'm doing the maths just like they told me, taking the insulin in the doses I talked about with my doctor, only to end up super low or super high after eating??? It was all working fine before they let me out but as soon as I do more than laying in bed all day it isn't fine anymore??? Also having to prick my finger all the time to measure and also being super anxious when not measuring cause what if the levels go wheee again in those 3 hours im not measuring??? I know it will all be fine and that I will learn to live with it but I just can't wait until I get my sensor and being able to check my levels all the time to see when and why they go crazy so I can fix my insulin doses accordingly... thankfully my sensor is already approved and I got the message it will arrive on Friday before Easter because this situation of being fine before eating and then being too low or too high a few hours later without warning is making me so nervous and scared. Going to the doctor because I lost a bunch of kilos and was always thirsty just to get told I have developed an autoimmune disease and was close to fainting into a coma is wild. I wasn't expecting that at all and it feels like my life got turned upside down and while I am glad that it is "just" diabetes (cause I am aware it could have been something much worse) and I am accepting it and working on that, the fact it doesn't go like I'm calculating the second I left the hospital makes me so nervous about it all, feeling like I'm doing everything wrong the second im on my own

[cuz-reasons]

What if I exploded? What then?

[newfeeling77]

i wish i had gotten properly medicated n therapized earlier 1. bc it hasnt even started yet i had one therapy appointment and i wont be feeling the effects of medication for another month and a half and 2. im already feeling regretful of the time i wasted these past few months being depressed. not unhappy just apathetic and frustrated. bc objectively im having a good time n learning new things and making friends like its a really good semester but i havent been able to enjoy it bc im currently incapable of enjoying anything. i can appreciate things, i can acknowledge the positive aspects of my life but they dont give me any positive feelings. instead im just angry or overwhelmed all the time

[jorvikzelda]

onlu have 1 out of 3 balls of yarn left on the brown & beige half of my crochet blanket and then i get to move on to the blue half but the first stripe of the blue half is just a slightly colder shade of white than the last stripe of the brown & beige half which is off white and I gotta crochet 3 full balls of yarn of that

[toastsnaffler]

yayy new undertale newsletter :-)

[urwendii]

in need of a little pick-me-up...

so, november does not seem to start the right way, i've lost my dad four years ago and they apparently just found a mass in my mom's brain and i just can't deal with this right now without spiraling so if you have fluff headcanons / snippets or kitty pics or anything to send my way i'd be grateful :')

[limelocked]

you forget how fast your mood can be ruined by the smallest shit

this post brought to you by me, someone who due to upbringing hoards snacks because if i didnt then others would eat My Things before i had the chance to want to crave them, living in the same home as my mother who is the first of four siblings and eats anything sweet whenever she want

[tiredrobin]

mrrr

[july-19th-club]

celebrating the first few hours of wire day the only way i know how.....with crippling, panic-inducing insomnia

[thanksfortheflaglove]

.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[proteuus]

I hate my new business team and the truth is that I mostly hate them because I loved last semester's business team so much and put so much effort into developing it and I miss them and it's disheartening to start over

I love developing teams and projects and etc, that's my whole thing, I love people, and if that was my full time job that would be awesome. but it isnt and I'm getting sick of being the only one who does this work on top of everything else