#but besides my bedding still being in the wash I’m pretty much done

[microsuedemouse]

today I rearranged my entire bedroom pretty much completely on impulse because I am, fundamentally, my mother’s daughter

[drytacomeat]

𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞’𝐬 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐁𝐨𝐱 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐝𝐬

pairing: eddie munson x fem plus size black!reader

type: fluff

no warnings

You had just gotten to Eddie’s trailer after getting your hair all braided up.

As soon as you walked into Eddie’s room (Wayne so politely let you in), he theatrically jumped up from his bed.

“There’s my girl!” he yelled and walked up to you to touch your freshly braided hair. He grabbed your face and turned you to the side before placing a kiss to your cheek. “Pretty as ever.”

You smiled and folded into yourself. Eddie just rocked back and forth on his toes before swiftly turning around to face his bed.

“Can’t believe that took you all day, though,” he smiled as he picked up a comic book and flopped down. “Thought that maybe you just didn’t want to see me.”

“Eds, the process takes…time,” you trailed off.

Eddie nodded, “I know. I just wish it didn’t take so much time. I mean, how do you deal with it?”

You laid down on his bed beside him.

“Well, I’ve been getting my hair done since I was a baby. I’m used to sitting in a chair and waiting…then waiting some more. At least now it’s for hairstyles that I actually want on my head,” you chuckled.

Eddie leaned over and placed a peck to your forehead.

“You’re so pretty,” he smiled widely.

You rolled your eyes and cuddled up into his chest.

“My sleepover bonnet is in your drawer still?”

Eddie perked up at that and rummaged through his dresser drawer, some trash being accidentally flung out. He tried to hide his messy room from you. He was a gentleman after all.

“Here ya go!” he smiled and handed you the silk hair bonnet, “I even washed it for the pretty lady.”

You threw it on quickly and snuggled back up to him.

“Maybe we should get you one?” you joked.

Eddie sighed and gave you a stern look, “I don’t think I would be able to keep the ladies and gents off of me then.”

You shook your head with a smile.

[glassartpeasants]

Run Rabbit Run pt.04

Yandere!Eustass Kid x F!Reader

Warnings: Slight gore, nightmares, being stabbed, death, Heat being a real one once again, blood, mentions of injuries, trauma responses, forgotten memories???, edited to the best Grammarly would let me, long fic

Trash Summary: After an incident that blurs reader's memory, she's met with a crisis. Turn a blind eye and continue to love the man who saved her or dig deeper and find out who Kidd truly is.

A/N: I was feeling a little silly and decided that Kidd hit the reader a little too hard after the last chapter, so here you go. This shit is fucking LONGGGGGG. And very much edited to the best of my abilities. Grammarly wasn't on my side so it is what it is. really hope it's not confusing

pt.1 pt.2 pt.3 pt.4 pt.5 pt.6 pt.7 pt.8 pt.9 pt.10

@rebeccawinters @iggy5055 @dairygrrl @childconnoisseur @menifire1092

~~~

It was always so easy to sleep when you lay next to Kidd. His heartbeat was like a lullaby when you laid your head on his chest. Your fingers would sometimes trace the scars that adorned his body. All of them containing a different story. You liked to place small kisses on them just to see Kidd’s face turn brighter than his hair.

When you weren’t sleeping next to each other, you’d sit on his lap and watch him work on whatever new project he had in his shop. You even got to help him make his robotic arm! The happiness you felt inside when he praised you made your face burn hot. You loved making him happy. 

He’d tell you stories about his travels on the sea’s before meeting you. Tell you all sorts of things that only you would ever know. The trust he put in you had your heart overflowing with love. 

When you laid in bed together, you’d tell him about your day or about the new book you’ve read. He’d just sit there and listen, not saying a word, only humming when you ask if he was still awake. He might not be the most romantic guy in the New World, but he was perfect the way he was. 

And that’s all that mattered to you.

~~~~

Leaning against the railing, you look out to the sea. The beautiful sunset had a calm washing over you. Even though the smell of salt hit your nose, it still didn’t change your mood. Why would it? This is the happiest you’ve ever been in your life! How can you be sad when you have the love of your life by your side?

You don’t know what you would’ve done if you hadn’t met Kidd. No one’s ever made you so happy! He truly was an angel in disguise. He saved you from a group of pirates who burned down your home! At least, that's what Kidd helped you remember. You couldn’t remember what the pirates looked like, but you remember seeing Kidd’s face. With that in mind, he helped you remember that he rescued you.

According to Kidd, PTSD and trauma can cause people to forget things. He told you it was okay to forget things. Everyone does. It made you feel better that he knew you so well. You swear he knows you better than you know yourself.

“Pretty, ain’t it?” Your thoughts were interrupted by a voice beside you. To your shock, it was Heat leaning against the railing next to you.

“It is. You’ve been pretty busy these past few months, huh? Feels like I’ve barely seen you.”

“The New World keeps you busy. How’s it with…Kidd?” Heat sends you a look that you couldn’t decipher. Almost sadness, maybe pity? But what would he have to pity you for? You were perfectly healthy, and your life is great!

“Great! He told me he’s making me something, so I’m looking forward to that!” You feel a big smile crawl across your face as you look at the man beside you.

“That’s good.” A silence followed after his words.

“Oh! Also, he’s teaching me self-defense! He’s worried that other pirate groups are gonna take me away. Isn’t he such a sweetheart for worrying about me?” Your gushing didn’t help fix Heat’s expression. Instead, it seemed to worsen it.

“What’s wrong, Heat? You look sad?” Heat sighs before pushing himself off the railing.

“Does the name Sabaody mean anything to you by chance?” 

“Huh? I mean, the name sounds familiar, but I can’t remember.” You hear Heat mumble to himself, but you can’t make it out. 

“I see. Well, just know that I’m sorry.” You furrow your brows as you watch him walk away. His words made an unease settle inside you. What could he have to be sorry for? Maybe you just misheard? Yeah, that’s the logical answer.

The whole experience made you tired and the calming sunset didn’t help either. With one last look at the sea, you make your way to your and Kidd’s shared bedroom. You couldn’t wait to snuggle under the covers and lay next to him.

Opening the door, you see Kidd already passed out. You smile as you discard your own clothes before joining him in bed.

Throwing open the covers, you lay behind him and look at his bare back. The skin looked so soft that you couldn’t help but gently drag your fingers against his shoulder blades before kissing them. You can feel him tense slightly but let out a small sigh. Rolling his shoulder blades, Kidd turns to look at you over his shoulder.

“Having fun?” Kidd’s groggy voice had you silently laughing.

“Am I not allowed to admire my love? You work so hard as a captain. No doubt you’ll become King of The Pirates.” Kidd turns around to face you, his hair cascading down his face. You smile at him before cupping his cheeks and moving to give him a kiss. His flesh arm grabs you and pulls you closer. You scoot up so your face to face with him. Wanting nothing more than to look in his eyes.

“Cheesy.” He laughs as you pout at his words. With a huff, you turn around, upset that he ruined the mood. 

“You big baby.” Kidd places his head on your shoulder before kissing your neck. He kisses the sensitive skin before nibbling across your neck, making you sigh.

“Your so lucky I love you.” A groan leaves Kidd’s lips, and it vibrates along your neck.

“Say it again.”

“I love you Kidd.” You smile as you move your hand so you can run your fingers through Kidd’s red locks. The familiar silk feeling never faded. You can feel Kidd start to suck against your neck to the point red blotches appear.

“I love you too.” It was a silent whisper but still loud enough to have your heart overflowing with love. You never wanted to leave his side. He was the love of your life, and you couldn’t bear the thought of living without him.

~~~~

“Come on! Let’s go shopping! You’ve been busy all week! I haven’t seen you other than bedtime, and even then, you're out cold!” You grab Kidd’s flesh hand with both of yours as you try to drag him away from leaving the bedroom.

“I told you I’m working on something. Don’t be impatient, princess.” Kidd laughs with a cocky grin before throwing you over his shoulder and leaving the room.

“Plus…”

“There’s something I want you to try.”

“Oh? Did Killer make something new?”

“No, and why do you assume Killer made something? I can cook!”

“You’ll be good at cooking the day the sky turns green.” You feel a slight pinch on your thigh, causing you to slap Kidd’s back.

“That hurt you jerk!”

“Kidd!” The sound of footsteps running caught your attention as you caught Killer in the corner of your eye.

“What? Can’t you see I’m busy?” You couldn’t help but laugh when you heard Killer sigh.

“Anyways, we’ve got everything stocked, so we can set sail anytime.”

“Alright, let’s get going.” Kidd’s response had your face drop and your mood souring.

“Hey! You said we could go shopping after you had me try something!”

“Never said that. Nice try, princess.”

“Well, you heavily implied it!” Kidd laughed at you, and it only pissed you off more.

“I actually needed things! I could have just gone by myself-”

“No!” Kidd’s voice boomed in the hallway, echoing repeatedly in your ears. You could feel your mouth grow dry, and your heart skipped a beat. Turning back, you see Kidd glaring at you with his amber eyes. His piercing gaze made you freeze as the look was something you’d never seen before from him.

“You are never to leave this ship unless I say so. Do you understand?” His words put a heavy unease in your stomach. You look at him with shock before you grit your teeth. The air was so tense you could cut it with a knife.

“I’ve got somewhere to be. Bye-” Killer quickly left, leaving you and Kidd alone.

“Kidd put me down.” Seemingly, Kidd snapped out of whatever ‘trance’ he was in and started tripping over his own words.

“Shit I-well…I mean-” You didn’t want to hear it. You were an adult woman who could make her own choices. Even if you loved Kidd, you wouldn’t let him talk to you like that.

“Put me down now. This is not for discussion.” He held onto you for a few more seconds before putting you down. You look up at his face, and to your distress, it was blank. No emotion or anything. But he emitted an aura that had you scurrying away without saying another word.

Seeing Kidd like that deeply disturbed you. Why weren’t you allowed off the ship? And why did you need his permission? Does he not trust you or something? What reason would he have to keep you trapped on the ship?

Your head started pounding, causing you to stop in your tracks. Another migraine. You’ve been getting them a lot more recently, and you couldn’t pinpoint why you got them or why they’ve become more common. It was always in the same spot, right in the back of your head. There happened to be a huge scar there so you originally thought it had to do with that, but Kidd was very insistent that it had nothing to do with the headaches. That it was just a councidence. Per  your request though, kidd’s brought doctors to the ship to check you out, but no results. They gave you some meds, but nothing worked. No ice, meds, dark rooms, or water helped with the pain that it caused. Even though the meds didn’t do anything, you still took them just in case. Which is why you needed to go to town today. To get meds and scar cream.

The scar cream was needed because every time your eyes landed on your body, you saw scars that stuck out like a sore thumb. It bothered you more that you can’t remember how you got them. Well, you did know a few now after Kidd told you what happened. The two rough scars that adorned your left thigh was caused by a Marine after they stabbed you in the thigh when you wouldn’t tell them where Kidd was. There were times where it made you scratch your head cause you were sure that you’d remember something like that.

Another scar you don’t remember is the one on your ankle. Kidd said a pirate tried kidnapping you by putting a shackle on your ankle. While it fit the scar mark, surely it would have taken much longer to make such a scar if you were only really kidnapped for a day or two, like he said. He said the same thing about the one around your neck. Still, your logical side said it was impossible to cause such scars in such a short time. By the looks of them, it would have taken months to cause such damage to the skin. But it didn’t make sense. Why would Kidd lie about something like that?

You understood that trauma can cause memory loss. How much memory is lost truly depends on the person. If that was the case with you, did that mean you endured so much that you forgot almost everything? The thought ate at you. You only had so many memories with Kidd, and when you tried asking him to help you remember more, his eyes went wide, and he stuttered on his words again. At that time, you let it go. Having no reason to question him.

While walking along the ships halls, lost in your thoughts, you passed by a door that caught your attention. Stopping in front of it, you look at it with curiosity. While you don’t remember the door, it feels like you’ve been here before. Curiosity got the best of you, so you went to open the door, only to realize it was locked. A frown works its way on your face before you start backing up. Maybe if you charge at it a little bit, it’ll open.

You didn’t know why you needed to get in so badly, but you wouldn’t leave till you saw what was in that room. So, with a deep breath, you charged your body towards the door.

The sound of your body impacting the door rang throughout the hall. Strangely, the door collapsed after one hit. The sound of the door hitting the ground had a thunderous noise coming from it. You look at the door hinges and notice old damage compared to the new damage you just caused.

“What the?” Looking inside the dark room, you can barely make out what was a lantern light near the very back of the room. Biting your lip, you move quickly through the dark and turn on the lantern light. The suffocating dark of the room soon leaves.

Once you turned on the light, your eyes met an entire wall full of tally marks. A tingling sense of fear hits you as you look closer to them. They weren’t deep enough to be caused by a knife, so it had to be something else. 

Looking closer at the scratched wood, you see something embedded in it. Leaning down, you grab it and bring it closer to the light to get a better look. To your shock, it was a fingernail with dried blood on the very bottom of it.

Goosebumps prickled at your skin as the thought of who this could belong to had an unease forming in your stomach. You’ve never heard of this room, and you never heard of Kidd keeping prisoners. The room felt soul-crushing the more you looked around it. 

Books scattered across the floor, dust slowly collecting on them. A makeshift bed with a mattress and a few blankets. The bed hadn’t been made, so it caused more questions to roam in your head. If a person was actually in here, did something happen to them? If so, what?

The final nail in the coffin was when you see a spot on the wooden wall that looked darken then the rest of the room. With a deep breath, you slowly move to the spot. With shaky hands, you carefully touch the wood and the texture had a shiver running up your spine. You lifted up the latern light to get a closer look and you can feel time stop as you stare at the wall. 

There was no doubt in your mind that what you were looking at was dried blood and how some of it soaked into the wall. Your eyes even catch what seems to be strands of hair stuck against the nails that secured the walls together. Moving the lantern closer, you can see the color of said hair. The room tempeture seemingly dropped to zero when you see that the type of hair stuck against the wall was almost the same as your own.

Your heartbeat quickened, and you decided it was time to leave the small room. While grabbing the light, you see a white piece of paper sticking out from the floorboards in the corner of the room. Almost as if it was trying to be hidden. The paper moved side to side even though there was no wind.

Quickly kneeling down to grab it, you carefully pick up the paper only to realize it was a viver card with the name ‘Rayleigh’ scribbled on it.

“Rayleigh? Who’s…” Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard footsteps coming down the hall. The feeling of impending doom hit you hard, so you quickly scrambled out of the room before running away in the opposite direction of the footsteps.

~~~~

All you did was stare at the food in front of you. It was dinner time, and you still couldn’t get rid of your migraine or the intense feeling of unease. The room full of tally marks that contained an unknown viver card, the dried bloody spot on the wall, Kidd’s outburst, and Heat’s words from the other day all mushed up inside you. You didn’t know what was happening, but you wanted to eliminate the gnawing feeling you were experiencing on the ship you were supposed to call home. 

The thought of the tally marks didn’t help you when you remembered the fingernail you found embedded in the wood. While it was disturbing to see it, it was even more distressing when you looked at your own nails. The nail that was supposed to be on your pointer finger was missing, and it seems like it never regrew another one. Not to mention how hair with the same color and texture of yours was also embedded into the the bloody wood.

While it could be an eerie coincidence, it still fueled an unknown fire inside you.

“Hey (Y/N), you okay? Your staring at your plate, and you haven’t eaten a thing.” Looking up, you see Killer sitting on the other side of you.

“I just have a huge migraine, and I’ve been feeling really uneasy. I’m probably just tired or dehydrated. No need to worry.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.” You snap at the man in front of you.

“Is it about Kidd? Have you talked to him yet?”

“No, I haven’t. He needs to apologize first. Treating me like a captive rather than a girlfriend.” Killer coughed, causing you to look at him.

“Ah, I see. I’ll go talk to him. How does that sound?” Letting out a sigh of relief, you smile at Killer.

“That sounds good. Thank you.”

“No problem.” Killer left without another word, leaving you alone now with a cold dinner. Even with Killer going to talk to Kidd, you still didn’t get rid of the unease. 

“Psst-(Y/N)!” You hear someone whisper next to you. Turning your head, you see Heat standing outside, waving you over. Quickly looking around, when you saw no one was watching you, you made your way to Heat.

“Hey, what did you need-”

“Eat this.” Heat suddenly shoves something against your chest. You quickly grab it before looking down at it—a yellow-colored fruit with an unnatural pattern and shape. 

“What the hell is-”

“No time to explain. Eat first.”

“You didn’t poison it, did you?”

“Eat it!”

“Okay! Okay!” You quickly take a bite and swallow to try to appease the man before you. The fruit's disgusting flavor hit your mouth, and just as you were about to puke, Heat stopped you.

“I know it’s gross, but you need to eat it all. It’s vital that you do.” Looking Heat in the eyes, you see a look of urgency in them. Despite how disgusting it tasted, you had no reason to doubt Heat, so you choked it down.

“Alright, it’s down. Now tell me what the hell I just ate.” You gag slightly before looking at Heat. 

“I’ll tell you later, okay? I can’t right now, not when everyone’s awake.” Before you can ask what he meant, you see Heat run across the ship without a sound. It was dark, so he was hard to see to anyone not looking for him.

“Heat you ass. You better tell me what I ate the next time I see you.” The gross taste of the fruit only stuck to your tongue as you whispered into the dark sky. The disgusting aftertaste had you grabbing some water to try and get rid of it. Whatever he made you eat, there better be a good explanation for it.

~~~~

There was an awkward silence between the two of you. You could feel Kidd staring at you as you faced away from him. He hasn’t apologized, and you weren’t going to talk to him till he does.

“Enough of this bullshit.” Before you could question, you felt his flesh hand grab you and pull you close to him. Your back hit his chest as he wrapped his arm around you, locking you in place. Kidd places his head on your own before letting out a sigh.

“Clingy.” You feel him grab your breast, causing you to yelp and hit his arm.

“Mm, not clingy.” Kidd moved his head to your shoulder before placing kisses along your shoulder blade before making his way to your neck. Even though you were mad at him, he always managed to make you forgive him by fucking your brains out. But this time was different. The way his voice sounded, and the look he gave you wasn’t something a simple fuck could fix.

“Us fucking won’t make me forgive you for the way you talked to me earlier. All I want to know is why you were acting the way you were.” With your best attempt, you turn to face him. His hair was down and his face bare, letting you see tiny freckles adorning his skin. You’ll never understand why he hides them. It makes him look so cute.

“Just worry.” Kidd moves his gaze away from you. 

“Worried that I’ll get hurt?”

“Yes. Happy now?” A red hue covered Kidd’s face. He wasn’t a man of many words when it came to expressing what he felt. You sigh before placing a kiss on the tip of Kidd’s nose.

“What are you doing?!”

“Giving you a kiss 'cause I forgive you. Just promise not to do that again, alright?”

“Fine, I promise.” It was a whisper, but you’d take it. You smile at Kidd before going to kiss every inch of his face.

Kidd grumbled before his face was as red as his hair. He always got so flustered when you showered him with affection. His cheeks would burn and warm up your cold fingers every time.

“Once we hit the next island, we’re going shopping together, okay? If you're truly worried that I’ll get hurt, you need to plan the day with me.” You softly spoke as you connected your forehead to Kidd’s.

“Why do you wanna go so badly? I can have Killer shop for you-”

“Killer has shit taste. Plus, I’d like to pick out my own panties. What do you want Killer to see-” Kidd pulled you down to his chest, your face smashed against it. 

“Okay, you made your point. On the next island we go, we’ll shop. But you are NOT leaving leaving my sight.”

“So paranoid. It’s not like I’m gonna run away.” Kidd squeezed you tight, causing you to cough.

“Just go to sleep.” Rolling your eyes, you press a kiss to his chest and close your eyes. Happy that he finally let you go shopping with him.

Your eyes flutter open when you feel drops of water hitting your face. The water pounded against your skin as you picked yourself up. Rubbing your eyes, you find yourself in a deep forested area caked in mud.

Standing up, you feel your feet sink into the mud, only stopping when your foot is fully covered. The rain slightly cleaned the dirt out of your head as it drenched your now shivering form.

You looked around, and you couldn’t see the end of the forest for miles. A sinking feeling settles in your heart as you realize your alone. You try to scream out for Kidd or anyone, but nothing comes out. Even when you tried to talk in general, all that left your lips was silence. Your heart starts beating against your ribs as the thought of being alone in such a dark forest makes fear fill you.

Just then, the smell of smoke and the feeling of blazing heat sneaks up behind you, causing you to turn around. Terror filled your body as the forest behind you was engulfed in flames. The harsh, pounding rain did nothing to stop the fire from devouring the forest.

To your dismay, you hear screaming coming from the flames before all black silhouettes of humans emerge from the fire. Your mouth falls open as you take a few steps away from the blaze, only for it to spread closer to you.

Taking a deep breath, you take one more step before you start running as fast as you can from the hell behind you. The mud clung to your feet, making it all the much harder to run away. You look behind you and feel your heart stop when the number of silhouettes doubled from the last time you looked at them. Their screams were ear-piercing, and yet, they sounded so familiar. All of them had the same pitch, and all of them sounded like they were in a constant state of agony.

You tried picking up the pace, but the fire only stayed right on your tail. The screaming getting closer as the rain hit your face, making it slightly hard to see in front of you. Despite your lack of voice, you begin screaming for Kidd to come and save you. To get you away from whatever hell is chasing you.

You can feel the flames lick at your feet as your tears mix with the rain. Covering your ears, you desperately tried to ignore the blood-curdling screams coming from behind you. The fact they sounded so familiar disturbed you as you tried to pinpoint the person they came from. Turning around to see how close they were, you could only ‘scream’ in horror when you saw yourself running at you. Different versions of you hunting you down. All of them have some sort of injury covering their body. The same injuries that matched your own scars.

You see yourself in a metal collar and a shackle chained to their foot. Tears streaming down their face as a look of despair plastered on her face. Another was limping but still kept up the pace of the others around them. One of them had obviously been beaten by the swollen black eye all the way to the minor cuts that littered their skin. You see one with a horrifically burned chest. It took you only a couple seconds to recognize that the burn was the exact image of your branding of Kidd’s Jolly Roger on your chest. It then finally clicked on whose screams you were hearing.

They were yours.

Turning back to face forward, you see Kidd standing at the edge of the forest line. Relief washed your body as you drew closer to him. He’d save you from the clones that chased you. He’d save you from them even though they screamed no. Why they were was a question you didn’t care to find out.

A burning grip grabs your left arm and jerks you back towards the flames. Countless more hands grabbed your body  trying to drag you away from Kidd and into the blaze. Their screams of a desperate ‘NO’ rang all around you. You were surrounded by yourself as they held onto you for dear life. Seemingly begging you not to run to Kidd, silently telling you to join them in the flames. Despite their begging, you ignored them as you escaped their grasp and finally made it to Kidd’s arms. A loud scream came from behind you and the sound of flames flickering stopped.

Turning your gaze, you no longer see your disfigured clones. The fire that once chased you gone, almost as if it never existed in the first place, the forest green and lush. Your heart felt like it was gonna beat out of your chest and your lungs burned, But now you were safe, Kidd would never let anything hurt you-

An excuricating pain comes from your stomach. It was something that you couldn’t even describe. Quicly looking down, you see a knife plunged deep into your abdomen and to your horror, Kidd’s hand connected to it.

Looking up, you freeze when you catch a glimpse of his face. The look of insanity stared right back at you.

He pulled the knife from your stomach before lifting it up above his head. His other hand harshly gripping your hair, making you unable to move. You pound your hands against his chest and kick anywhere you can, but he doesn’t move an inch. The way your blood dripped from the blade above your head had your heart stopping before your mouth drops open when you see Kidd violently bring down the knife. It’s only then do you finally hear yourself scream.

Your body jolts up as your scream starts to echo all around Kidd’s room, making the man himself wake up. 

“Jesus! What the fuck-” His words died in his throat when he saw you with tears pouring down your face. Fear swirled in your eyes when you turned to look at him.

“(Y/N)?” Your body shook feverishly as you desperately tried to calm yourself down. The room seemed to spin around you as you try to catch your breath. Only when Kidd grabbed you and pulled you closer to him, did you finally come back to reality.

“What the hell is wrong?” Kidd’s grumpy voice only contributed to your never ending tears. You wrapped your arms around him the best you could before hiding your face in his chest.

“It felt so real…I was so scared…” Kidd says nothing, only letting out a low hum. Indicating he’s listening.

“You were in my dream…” You say with a shaky voice before you hear Kidd’s laughter as he puts his chin on your head.

“Oh really? What was I doing?”

“You killed me…” Kidd froze before finally coming up with the words to say. 

“I’d never hurt you, alright? So quit your crying princess.” You let out a few sniffles before looking up at him.

“Promise?”

“Promise.” You both lay back down on the bed, holding each other tightly. A few tears still slipped from your eyes before landing on Kidd’s chest. He starts rubbing your lower back before whispering in your ear.

“I’ll never hurt you. Never have and never will.”

~~~~

Ever since the dream, you’ve been extra jumpy. One wrong sound had you heart almost jumping out of your chest. The constant migraines didn’t help either. You just wanted to sit in bed all day and sleep. Unfortunately, overwhelming questions overtook you urge to sleep.

What was the small room and who did it belong too? Who was ‘Rayleigh’ and why was his viver card stuck in between the floorboards? Who’s blood was on the wall? What did Heat make you eat and what was he talking about that day when you both watched the sun set? Lastly, what was the meaning of your nightmare? It must have meant something!

Your head pounded and to your displeasure, you ran out of water and the cool towel you placed on your head earlier had now turned room temperature. With a groan, you slowly get out of bed and wrap a blanket around you. Maybe grabbing some meds will help. It’s been a slow day so hopefully the kitchen won’t be too loud.

While making your way to the kitchen, you hear Killer’s voice whispering to someone else. You carefully get closer to hear what they're saying, you're nosiness getting the best of you.

“Aren’t you worried? At least a little bit?”

“Why should I? The accident was 5 months ago and ever since then, everythings going my way. She remembers me and only me. Not the pathetic straw hats and anything I’ve done before she hit her head again!”

“I don’t know Kidd. You should at least have a plan in case anything were to happen.”

“What the hell are you going on about? What could possibly happen?” You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you bit your lip.

“I found the room’s door busted open a week ago. The dust had been disturbed and it was obvious someone has been in there-”

“What?! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” 

“I tried but you weren’t paying attention! So don’t yell at me for your lack of listening skills.”  A tingling feeling moved through your fingers before spreading to your whole body as you try to make sense of what the conversation between Kidd and Killer could be about? But one thing you did know now was that whatever room you stumbled into, you were never suppose to see.

“Board up the door. Hell place small traps, just make sure she can’t get in.” Another uneasy feeling filled your heart as you eavesdrop on a conversation that had given you more questions. What could have been so important behind that door that Kidd’s making Killer board it up? 

A pounding in your head started up again which helped you remember what you really left the room for. After taking a quick breath, you start to walk down the hallway where they ‘hid’. Just to see if they’d continue the conversation if you walked by.

“Oh, (Y/N)! What are you doing up? I thought you had a migraine?” Killers panicked voice rang in your ears, giving you the confirmation that you weren’t suppose to know about their conversation.

“Was going to the kitchen to get some meds. Did I interrupt something?”

“Nope. Not at all.”

~~~~

Almost everyone was asleep by the time you went out on the deck to watch the stars. Kidd was in his workshop no doubt while Wire and Killer were tonights lookout. It allowed you to have a nice quiet evening to count the stars and ponder on your thoughts. 

With a warm cup of tea in your hands and a fuzzy blanket wrapped around you, it was hard not to give in to the temptation to fall asleep. The waves hitting against the ship was a smooth melody that had your eyelids grow heavy.

“Mind if I join you?” Turning your head, you see Heat sitting down a few feet away from you. 

“You owe me an explanation on that wretcehd fruit you made me eat.” A quick laugh came from the man next to you. 

“I thought you might have known by now but I guess I was wrong. But what I had you eat was a devil fruit.” His words had you spitting out the tea you were drinking before you looked at him in shock.

“A devil fruit?! Why on earth would you feed me a devil fruit?!” You whisper yell at him while looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

“You won’t understand it all right now but trust me it’s going to be a big help-”

“No more cryptic messages! I want to know what’s going on!”

“It’s hard to explain alright!” Whatever Heat was withholding from you had to be something serious cause the way he was acting was starting to piss you off.

“Just tell me, what’s the last vivid thing you remember?” His question caught you off guard. Last vivid thing you remember? What could he mean by that?

“Go back from times from when you met Kidd.” Furrowing your brows, you turn to stare down at your knees.

Kidd told you that he met you after saving you from the other pirate group that burned your entire town to the ground. Saying nothing was left except ashes and smoke. With that being said, you try to remember it, but all you could see was fog. The same thing happening with other memories or things Kidd told you happened. All your memories were so foggy that it soon felt like you were missing a whole chunk of your life that you didn’t remember.

“Nothing. I…don’t remember anything at all. All there is, is fog.” Heat whispers a curse and you can feel another tingling sensation crawling across your skin.

“You need to trust me, okay (Y/N)?”

“Trust you? What are you going on about?”

“Everything Kidd’s told you? It’s a lie.” Hearing Heat’s words, your eyes widen.

“What are you talking about? I don’t understand?” The tingling sensation grew stronger as you try to understand Heat’s words.

“Kidd is not the ‘savior’ you think he is. He’s lying to you (Y/N).” The world seemed to start spinning around you. You knew that there were things that Kidd could’ve been hiding from you after overhearing his conversation with Killer. But is Heat was acting like this, then there had to be something more that you didn’t know. Yet the question still stands.

Why would Kidd lie to you? What was there to lie about?

“Don’t trust what Kidd says. No matter how convincing he may sound. I can’t explain everything right now but you have to believe me.” Heat grabs you by the shoulders and looks at you, the look of desperation filled his eyes. You can feel your heart beat quicken as you try to make sense of the whole situation. How deep could such a rabbit hole be if Killer, Kidd, and Heat knew something that you didn’t? You go to say something but no words leave your mouth. Every one of your senses was overloaded to the point where your body started to get fidgety and your breathing starts getting faster. 

Just then, you see a bright light before a loud ZAP could be heard. You see Heat recoil back shaking his hands as if to cool them down. Worry filled you as you go to see if he’s okay, but your eye catches something slithering along your hand.

With wide eyes, you watch as what you could only describe as lightning snake across your arms and hands. A low buzzing could be heard as you comeptley forgot about Heat in shock of watching what was happening to yourself. 

“Fuck that hurt.” Heat’s words went through one ear and out the other as small bursts of electricity started to accumulate in your palms. You quickly make a fist to try and stop whatever was happening, only for it to continue the moment you opened your hand again.

Your hands start to shake as you slowly move your hands together and watch as the small flickers of electricity grow louder and bigger. Heat’s words from moments ago lost on you as you couldn’t help but be memorized by what you were creating with your own two hands. 

The sound of it flickering reminded you of flames while you looked at it. The fact you were creating something so unnatural, something so extrordinary, had you speechless. It felt like a dream watching the ball of pure eletricity crackle in your palms

It’s only when it started to get bigger that it started to burn and shock your palms to a painful amount. You started freaking out as you turn to Heat for any advice.

“What do i do?!” 

“Throw it out to sea like a ball or something!” Without a second thought, you did just that and to both of your relief’s, the ball of pure electricity left your hands and flew straight out to sea. Small lights flashing around it as it grew smaller and smaller the farther it got.

The low buzzing quickly stopped and the small ropes of electricity fizzled out. Your heart beat still ran wild as you slowly turn your head to Heat, who looked just as shocked as you. No words could’ve been said as you both look at each other, astonished at what had just happened mere seconds ago.

To your dismay, the familiar sound of Kidd’s footsteps approached where you and Heat sat. You both try to quickly shake off the shock that covered your faces and try to act like you didn’t almost electrify Heat moments ago.

“There you are. Why are you on the deck? It’s late.” With a quiet gulp, you respond.

“I had another nightmare so I came to get some fresh air and Heat was already here.” A low hum comes from Kidd as you see him give Heat a questioning glance before moving towards you.

“Well your gonna get sick if you stay out here. Let’s go.” Grabbing your blanket wrapped body, Kidd threw you over his shoulder.

“I can walk you know?” You laugh before turning your attention back to Heat. He puts a finger to his lips before you lose sight of him as Kidd walks away.

~~~~

The sounds of peoples screams had your eyes shooting open in fear. What could be causing such a horrific noise? Rubbing your eyes, you let your vision adjust before you finally got a look at the hell that surrounded you.

Flames higher then the sky flickered and roared as it engulfed the buildings around you. The heat it produced almost as suffocating as the smoke that came from it. 

You look around, hoping to find the cause of the screams, yet no one was there. All that was there, was you. You and the fire that circled you. It closed in closer and closer as you breathed in the smoke. It burned your lungs as the heat soon started to affect how open your eyes could be. You couldn’t even hear your own breathing due to how loud the flames yelled around you.

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps came from behind you, causing you to walk away. Whatever could survive in such heat was not something human. Through the flames, you can see a silloutte of a man. Taller then any man then you’ve ever seen. Due to the flames, it even looked like the man had horns and a tail. He looked like the devil himself engulfed in the blaze. Yet when the man finally stepped out of the flames, it caused you to step back and lose your footing, falling to the ground with a thud.

It looked like Kidd. But it couldn’t be Kidd. The man in front of you didn’t have a single scar to be seen. Both arms in a competely different coat. Yet when you looked into the man’s eyes, there was no doubt that the man in front of you was the man you called your lover. 

Your eyes scanned him and you can feel your blood freeze when you see his hands covered in blood. Fresh enough to where the blood drips down his fists. His boots covered in the red liquid as well. 

“Must be my lucky day. I get to burn down an entire village and keep a little trophy.” The laughter that left his throat had your body shaking. A sense of dread filled your soul as you unknowingly get on your feet.

The man in front of you started running at you with speed you could never compare to, yet you still ran.

Running through the flames, you can feel them eat away at your flesh as you try your best to run away from teh laughing man behind you. Smoke invaded you lungs as breathign soon became harder and harder. Your eyes scanned your surroundings and its then when you realize where you are. 

Home.

The building collapsing in on themselves causing ashes to float into the air. All the buildings that stood with you through your childhood burning to the ground. Not a single one was spared from the blaze. Everything from the homes of the citizens to the hospital was burning to the ground without a care in the world.

The sight was too much to bear and hearing Kidd’s words earlier had your mind racing. A trophy? Burning down an entire village? 

Your village.

No it couldn’t be right. Kidd saved you. He saved you from the monsters that took everything away from you. He couldn’t be the one to cause all the destruction that left you the only surivor of a village that had once been bustling with people.

“Your too slow princess.” A large hand digs its fingers into your hair and grips harshly. Your jerked back as you can feel your scalp burn as the man behind you pulled you to the ground. A sickening crunch echoed in your skull.

With your eyes wide open in seconds, you sit up and look around. Your breathing heavy as you see that your in Kidd’s bedroom. It’s almost pitch black but you can see teh sunrise peaking out in the horizon, casting a small light into the room. 

Looking to yoru side, you see Kidd laying away from you. His breathing calm and a small snore left him. His body covered in the scars that you love and knew. Yet at the moment, you couldn’t bear to look at him. 

With your heart still beating against your ribs, you carefully lay back down against the soft sheets of the bed. But instead of curling up next to your lover, you moved to the very edge of the bed. Anything just to get away from him.

~~~~

A week has passed since Heat confronted you about Kidd. Not a second goes by were you didn’t think about it. Was there something Kidd was lying to you about? If so, what could it be? And why? Could it possibly have to do with the small room? What about the secret conversation between Kidd and Killer? Who were they talking about? What was the ‘incident’ Kidd was babbling about? All these questions burned into your brain and bothered you every second of the day.

And it’s starting to show.

According to some crew mates, you’ve been more quiet and reserved then normal. Killer has noticed it too but Kidd hasn’t said a word. Was he holding back? Has he not noticed? He’s been busy in his workshop so maybe that’s why? You were hanging out with him in the workshop as well but he’s got all his attention on his trinkets at that point. Either or, the knowledge that something was going on and you have yet to figure it out what it is has affected you to the point you started to lose sleep over it.

It was about 1am when you looked at the clock. You had tried to go to bed at 10 but all you could do was toss and turn. Your eyes had slowly adjusted to the darkness and all you could do was stare at the ceiling. Counting sheep didn’t work and Kidd wasn’t in bed to give you some sense of warmth and safety. He was on watch tonight and the loneliness didn’t help your insomnia.

Even though you were perfectly warm in bed, Kidd’s presence might be able to help your uneasy mind. So grabbing your comforter, you get out of bed and start journey to find Kidd.

Walking down the corridors of the Victoria Punk at night never bothered you before. It was home so there was no reason to be scared, but now it feels as if a million eyes were watching you. Staring you down without a word. The feeling was suffocating as you try your best to quickly run out to the deck of the ship.

Once you were out on the deck, you looked around to try and find Kidd. There was a new moon tonight so the sea’s were even darker than normal. The floorboards creaked with each step you took as you continued your journey to find Kidd.

“Kidd? Where are you?” Your voice were quiet as you looked for any signs of life. It’s only when you saw light in the corner of your eye that you finally let out a breath. A small smile played on your lips as you decide to give him a little scare.

You tip toe to the light source and you see Kidd’s shoes popping out from the corner. Just as you were about to attack, you were flung forward, causing you to fall on Kidd’s lap.

“Next time you try to scare me princess, don’t wear metal bracelets that clink around.” Kidd gives you a smug grin before pulling you up, having you sitting on his lap. Your head laying on the soft fur of his red coat.

“Kidd, can I ask you something?”

“What?”

“Have I been more closed off then usual? Maybe it’s just the migraines and my lack of sleep, but I feel…I don’t know how to describe what I feel.” You throw the comforter covering you to cover the small part of exposed skin Kidd had on his chest. Moving your head to look up, you see Kidd staring back down at you. His amber eyes scanning your face.

“I haven’t noticed. Probably cause you’ve been following me around like a lost puppy. You’ve just been hanging out with me more as you should.” He wasn’t wrong. You’ve tried to stick closer to him, hoping that his presence will push away the questions that have raided your mind. It’s worked but the times where it hasn’t out weights the time it has. In fact sometimes it even worsens it. The thought of him doing anythign behind your back that could possibly involve you had you tearing up. And now with Heat’s words plaguing your mind it plays in your head like a broken record.

“You’d never lie to me right?” Your voice laced with insecurity as you grabbed his metal hand and held it.

“This about another nightmare? Told ya princess, their not real. What would I possibly have to lie to you about?” Kidd lets his flesh arm wrap around your body and lets you continue to hold his metal hand. A slight red hue on his cheeks.

“I guess. I’m sorry for bothering you so much.” You turn your head to kiss his neck lightly before snuggling on his chest.

“Good. Now go to sleep. I ain’t going anywhere.” Without another word, your eyes flutter shut, letting the darkness embrace you.

Your awaken by loud explosions and the ground shaking harshly, yet when your eyes open, you find yourself laying on lush green grass. Rubbing your eyes, you notice that your surrounded by the biggest tree’s  you’ve ever seen in your entire life. Bubbles floating all around you, giving you a small feel of childhood nostalgia.

Reaching out, you go to touch a bubble in front of you only for a gunshot to echo around you and simultanisouly pop all together. Jumping to your feet, you look around trying to pinpoint teh cause of the gunshot. The sound of the soapy substance under your feet had you worrying that someone might hear you.

Another gunshot rings out and in your panic, you bring to run away from the direction of where the sound came from. As soon as you were 20ft from where you woke up, the sounds of gunshots multiplied. Not it sounded like there were hundreds of shots being fired instead of just one. Fear coursed though your veins as your heart worked harder to pump blood into your system.  Quickly glancing back, you see hundreds of shadows holding guns and shooting them in your direction.

It’s then when you go to look up to the sky, you notice to your horror that the sky was black. A never ending black abyss that not even the blackest of nights could compare. You were speechless as you continue running from the shadows that followed your every move. It was a miracle you haven’t been shot yet.

You can hear bullets passing by your head as they broke through the wind. Panic started overtaking your sense of reasonas you look every which way to try and find a spot to hide. You don’t know how much longer you have left to run on your feet.

The familiar sound of buzzing hit your ears, making you look down. You see ropes of electricity moving across your body, causing your heart to quicken. What could you possibly do now? You have two problems to take care of now! Running from teh gunshots that threatened to take you down and now trying to control your new found devil fruit power before it gets out of control and ends up hurting you.

Before you could take another step, the sound of gunfire ceased. NO more bullets whizzing past your head and no more jumping to avoid getting shot in the leg. Whipping your head around to see why it stopped, you can feel your blood freeze at what you saw. 

A huge scarred red snake looking right back at you. It’s amber eyes staring right through you. Your words caught in your throat as the snake lifted itself up, making it taller than you by 10x. It’s body longer than any sea king you’ve seen. The sound of it hissing brought you back to your senses. With a quick turn around, you start running away from the giant predator. The ground started to shake as you could hear is slithering right behind you. To your horror, you didn’t even make it 10ft before the giant snake wrapped it’s body around your own.

Even with your body emmiting the cursed electricity, the snake was unbothered. You struggled to free yourself, but were no match against it’s strength. The snakes hissing simply got louder as it got closer to your trapped form. It’s eyes locked with yours and only then did it hit you who’s eyes they belonged to. 

“K-Kidd? What the h-hell?” You can feel the snake tighten it’s grip against your body as it opened it’s mouth. Two gianormous fangs protruded from it’s gums. The snake moved it’s head back a little more before striking towards you.

Only then, did you scream at the top of your lungs.

Your eyes shoot open as you quickly looked around. To you relief, you see the Victoria pushing through the waves. Looking up, you see Kidd sleeping, his arms still tight around you. Your breathing calms as you lay back down on his fur coat, your eyes never leaving his face.

“What are you hiding?”

~~~~

After teh most recent dream, you started to distance yourself from everyone, includding Kidd. You needed time to think, and time to control the power that digusting fruit gave you. 

So far, everytime it’s shown itself, it’s been when you were overwhelemed with emotions. It brought you to the conclusion that you might have to think og things that upset you for it to show itself. Which brought you down to the hallway with the small room was in. Even though the small room freaked you out to no end, it was far from everyone and at the very bottom of the ship. No one would be there so it’d be easy for you to truly practice wihout being interrupted!

As soon as you reached the small room,  you curse yourself for being so forgetful. Wooden planks nailed in front of the door along with a sign saying ‘OFF LIMITS’. This must have been Killers doing after Kidd told him to board up the door. You furrow your brows as you look at teh door. THere was no way you’d get in normally, no with how thick those boards were. 

Scanning the door a little bit more, your eyes catch a tiny spot at the very bottom of the door that Killer didn’t board up. If the door wasn’t there you’d be able to crawl under teh planks.  Your brain went through idea after idea before one finally had your interest piqued.

Looking at both ends of the hallway to see if it’s clear, you sit down and move your body closer to the door. Putting your hands on teh ground for support, you move your leg back before kicking it forward with all your might. THe sound of the wood splittering had you smiling, knowing that your plan to kick a hole in the door was going to work. All you had to do, was give it a few more powerful kicks, then you’d be in the room in no time!

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

CRACK!

Finally, your foot kicks through the door. A quiet yes leaves your lips as you look around the hallway once more to check if anyone heard it. Seeing you were alone once more, you scoot closer to teh door to kick in more of the wood, just to make sure it was big enough to crawl through.

BAM!

BAM!

BAM!

Splinters of wood scatter around the newfound hole in teh door. But you didn’t care, now you could crawl through and do what you originally planned to do.

Crawling through the hole, your met with darkness once again. You move around and try to feel for the lantern light that you had left last time you were there. WHen you finally manage to find it and turn it on, you stand up and take a deep breath. Looking around the room, you ignore the tally marks and blood, and get ready for your new ‘training’.

~~~~

“God this is much harder then I thought it’d be.” You didn’t know how long you’ve been in the small room, but it was certainly long enough to feel your body on the verge of collapsing. With a few last stretches, you get ready to crawl back under the door. As soon as you start moving towards the hole, horror washes over you when you hear footsteps echo in the halls. Heavy footsteps make their way closer and closer to the busted door.

You quickly move your body through the small opening, trying to get out as fast as you can. As you almost make it halfway through, a piece of sharp wood scratched your back and ripped your shirt, taking a small piece with it. Biting your lip, you try to hold in a yelp of pain. Once you finally make it through teh door, you knew you didn’t have much time left to hide. You desperatly look around the hall before a small pile of crates catch your eye. Quickly you manouver yourself to hide behind the crates as quietly as you could.

Once you were out of sight, you manage to have a small sliver of light that allowed you to peak outside your hiding spot and look directly at the door. The footsteps go louder and so did your heartbeat. 

“Fucking shit.” Your eyes widen at the familiar voice of your lover. Looking between the crates, you see him kneeling down, inspecting the broken door. You can feel your blood freeze when you see Kidd holding the ripped piece of your shirt in between his fingers.

“Heat, you are so fucking dead. This is the last time you play hero.” Kidd returns to standing and starts storming back the way he came. A deep dread fills you after hearing Kidd words. You needed to warn Heat! You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you had gotten Heat killed due to your recklessness.

You needed to warn Heat and you needed to warn him now.

~~~~

Once the dark of night had covered the Victoria punk, everyone had made their way to bed. Ever since you made your way back to the deck after teh events of earlier today, you made sure to always be by Kidd or always have Heat in your eyesight. There hasn’t been an oppurunity to warn him yet. What if you couldn’t warn him fast enough?

But thankfully tonight, the crew decided it was Heat’s turn to keep watch for the night. Hearing that, it was the perfect oppurtunity to warn him! All you needed was to keep Kidd distracted for a second. But first, you needed to brush your teeth since whatever the hell Killer had cooked left an unpleasant aftertaste. Kidd was following you to the bathroom probably to do his skincare routine and drag you into it like always. You didn’t mind usually, but tonight was different.

“Make anything in the workshop today love?”

“Working on my arm.” Turning your head, you see Kidd leaning against the wall behind you.

“Adding anything cool? Or just repairs?” You question as you brush your teeth. 

“Repairs.” His plain answers had an unease bubbling in your stomach.

“Kidd! Where are you?” Killer’s voice broke through the small tension in the room. 

“Oi! Give me a second!” You see Kidd go to leave teh bathroom making you quickly grab his metal arm.

“Don’t go! Stay with me!” Kidd looks at you and you give him a pout.

“It’ll be a second alright? What’s got you so clingy princess?” You wrap your arms around his torso the best you could before looking up at him.

“Am I not allowed to want to spend time wiht my lover?” Leaning up, you manage to press a kiss to Kidd’s lips as you stand on your tip toes. You can see Kidd’s face turn red before he grumbled and tried looking away from you.

“Your clingy.”

“Clingy cause I love you.” You send him a smile which caused the red hair man to sigh before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“Love you too. Now, give me a second to see what’s got Killer bitching and moaning.” His first words were mumbled against your lips before he pulled away and walked out the bedroom door. You could thankfully hear them talking so it calmed you down knowing he wasn’t far and anywhere near Heat. Heat would be okay for a little longer.

~~~~

Kidd had been talking for awhile. What on earth could be taking him so long? 

After finishing your own skincare routine, you leave the bathroom and make your way out of the bedroom door. To your surprise you see nothing. But you could still hear Kidd and Killer’s voices. Quietly, you tip toe towards their voices, yet the closer you got, the more you notice the voices didn’t sound quite…human.

When you finally turn the corner, you feel your heart drop to your stomach. Instead of what should have been Kidd and Killer, was pre-recorded responder snails ‘talking’ to one another.

Horror filled yoru body when you realizing what’s happening. Turning around, you start running as fast as you could to make yoru way to the deck. Praying that Kidd hasn’t done anything to Heat. You cursed yourself for being so dumb and taking so long to realize. The sound of your footsteps echo the halls and ring in your own ears.

After finally making it to the deck, your eyes quickly scan around to see any sort of movement or light. Suddenly, a loud thud comes from your right and you see a bright light. Not wasting anymore time, you make a mad dash towards light and sound.

The closer you got, you could finally hear Kidd’s voice break through teh silence.

“You think your fucking slick?! Did you think I wouldn’t notice?!”

“Kidd, what are you talking about?” Another thud rings across the deck as Heat lets out a rough cough.

“I’ll be damned if you ruin this for me, Heat.” When you finally make it close enough, you see what was happening.

Heat sitting against the railing breathing heavily, red slowly seeping into his clothes. You turn yoru eyes to Kidd as you let out a gasp of horror when you see a bloody knife clutched tightly in his hand.

Heat coughed once more and you can see droplets of blood leave his mouth. You see Kidd getting closer to heat and that’s when you start running cause you knew right then that if you didn’t do something right now, Kidd was going to kill him.

Your footsteps had Heat slowly looking up before his eyes widen. Shock evident in his face as he sees you running in his direction.

“I’ll just tell the others you fell overboard. That’s all I need to tell (Y/N) and she would never ask another question.” Kidd moves closer to Heat still clutching the knife.

“Should have stayed out of things that don’t concern you. Now, you get to see what happens when someone tries to take something that belongs to me-”

“No!” Before Kidd could strike, you move in front of Heat and move your arms so theyre spread out to protect Heat from both sides. A silence fell over the three of you as Heat’s ragged breath was the only thing you could hear.

“(Y/N). Step aside. Don’t you know what he’s done? He’s a spy for the marines! He’s a traitor!” Despite Kidd’s words, you didn’t move a muscle. The tingling sensation grew stronger has you fear Kidd’s next move.

“Move (Y/N). I’m trying to protect you. Come here, it’s not safe to be next to him-” Kidd moves his flesh arm to grab you and before you could properly think, the familiar buzzing before a loud ZAP echoed across teh Victoria Punk.

“Son of a bitch!” Reeling back, you lover moves his hand up and down against his red cloak, trying to get rid of the shock.

“(Y/N)...” Turning around, you quickly move to Heat’s aid. You look around to see for any more wounds but only see teh stab wound that was stationed dangerously close to his heart.

“Hang on! You’ll be okay! Just give me a second!”

“Where did you get devil fruit powers.” Kidd’s voice broke through your panic and you turn to see his face. His face looked just as sinsiter as his voice. The look was worse than teh day he refused to let you off the boat.

“I-I..”

“You gave her devil fruit powers?! I’m going to kill you, you bastard!” Your hear almost stops as you watch Kidd stomp towards the two of you. It truly felt like another nighmare the way Kidd’s face looked. Standing up once again, you place yourself in front of Heat as you move your arms away from your side. Buzzing hit your ears and you can see electricity slither around your body, helping you by giving off a threatening aura.

“Don’t hurt him Kidd!” Kid moves his hand towards you and just as you think he’d gonna grab your am, his hand grip your hair and throws you behind him. Your body landing against the wooden deck with a loud ‘thunk’.

The air was knocked out of your lungs and your head pounded. You cough and struggle to regain the air before turning your eyes to Heat and Kidd. With eyes widening in horror as before you could do anything else, you see Kidd grab Heat by his shirt and lift him to his feet.

“Have fun at the bottom of the sea Heat! Say hi to the sea kings for me will ya?” With the rest of yoru strength, you pull yourself to your feet. You only took one step before you feel time stop.

Giving Heat a harsh shove, you watch Kidd throw him back, causing Heat to tumble over the railing. A scream leaves your voice as tears rim your eyes. Your legs move on their own as you go to the railing, hoping to see Heat hanging on, but the sound of a splash crushes your hope almost instantly.

Kidd turns around and looks at your shaking form. A look of insanity plastered on his face. You didn’t even have the time to register how close Kidd was before you feel Kidd dig his fingers in you hair, dragging you away from teh crime scene. 

“You couldn’t just mind your own buisness and wait could you? But that’s fine. I can teach you once more. I’ll do it as long as it takes, no matter how much blood that needs to be spilled.” Tears start pouring down your cheeks. The monster dragging you was not the Kidd you knew. Well, the Kidd you thought you knew.

Unfortunately, you were too late to see the truth, and Heat paid the price for your ignorance.

[youaintnothinbuta]

hello i am back ! thank you sm for your last post, i really enjoyed it!! anyways i have fallen down the jd rabbit hole. could i request a jd x reader where reader is very affectionate but jd is hesitant bc of veronica (he saw her suicide but moved before he knew it was fake and feels super guilty) then reader starts to get a little more distant because of the lack of reciprocation on jd's end. anyways this is gonna go on for too long, could u make it end with reader finding out what happened and reader comforts jd, and he just suddenly melts from the affection. (IM CRYING THIS DOES NOT MAKE SENSE I'M SORRY )

Summary: ^^

Pairing: Jd x reader

Warnings: mention of suicide, pretty much all warnings that come with anything heathers related. also probably typos and grammatical errors cos I’m tired

Word count: 774

Request something here !

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Relief washed over you when you heard the familiar creak of your window opening. Looking up, you found your boyfriend, Jd, gracefully climbing into your room, a mischievous glint in his eyes as always. He got comfy beside you in your bed, snuggling up as he pulled your diary towards him, trying to peek.

“No.” You snapped it closed and popped it on your bedside table, telling him off.

“You’re really never gonna let me read that thing?”

“Maybe one day, when we’re 40 and I randomly find it after having forgotten about it for years.” You replied.

Jd laughed with a little shake of his head.

The evening went by much per normal, him climbing back out your window to head back to his own home, “I’ll see you at school,” he says as you shut your window behind him.

You let your body sit heavily on your bed, sighing. He had never been the most affectionate, you figured that was just the way he was. But lately he’s been even less affectionate. He’ll still let you be touchy with him, cuddling him and kissing on him but everything on his end has pretty much dissipated. Not even an arm around you as you walk together anymore. It felt like this big wedge was being driven through the middle of your relationship, and he -for some reason- wasn’t noticing it.

Another week or so passed, and the distance between you two had grew exponentially. You couldn’t entirely blame him, for you somewhat adopted this mindset of ‘if he wants to be distant, fine, I can be distant too.’

But it had gone on for too long now, and had gotten worse than you ever thought it could. You barely even talked at school, you just sort of sat together in this weird unresolved silence.

You had had enough. One evening you got yourself out of bed and marched yourself over to Jd’s house, not planning on leaving until you figured out what his deal was.

“Jd, I can’t do this anymore.” You wasted no time, immediately speaking as you crawled though his window, startling him.

“Y/N—”

“What are we doing?” You stood in front of him, arms crossed.

“What?”

“What are we doing? You and I. What is happening?”

His confusion was evident, his voice a mix of curiosity and bewilderment, “What are you talking about?”

“Jd, don’t be a dick. You're distant. We barely talk. You haven’t even held my hand in a month. I feel like I've lost you. Have I done something wrong?”

Jd's sigh carried a weight, his figure rising from the bed. “Y/N, I…” he hesitated, the words escaping him reluctantly, “My ex— she hung her herself in front of me. It haunts me. I just feel guilty and I'm terrified that I might drive you to the same point.”

The room fell into a stunned silence, your mind grappling with the enormity of his confession. Your mouth opened to speak, only managing to stutter incoherently. Before he could continue, you closed the gap between you, enfolding him in a heartfelt embrace. Silence enveloped the room, broken only by the sound of your steady breaths. “I had no idea,” you whispered softly, your voice carrying a mixture of sympathy and understanding “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Jd choked out, unsure exactly of what the emotions his brain was trying to process were. You shook your head against him slightly, still holding him in a hug, “I can’t imagine how heavy that must feel.”

Jd winced, beginning to cry into your shoulder, tears starting to flow without reservation. That was the first time anyone has ever acknowledged how much pain he has experienced, ever. Your touch was a silent reassurance to him that he could let his guard down.

Amidst his quiet sobs, you murmured calmingly to him, “Shh, it's alright, Jd. You're not alone anymore. I'm here for you.” Your voice was a steady presence, comfort in a way he’d received from no one except his mom when he was a kid.

As his tears subsided, you held him a little tighter, your fingers tracing soothing circles on his back. “You don't have to be afraid with me,” you whispered, your words carrying the weight of your sincerity. “I'm not your ex, Jd. I just want to see you happy.”

His grip on you tightened, his vulnerability a testament to the trust he was beginning to place in you. He gave you a watery smile. “Thank you,” he managed to whisper, his voice raw, “you wanna just stay here tonight?” He asked. You nodded, getting comfortable in his bed.

A/N: LMFAO I’m so sorry this is SHIT but I had already left it sitting in my inbox so long and I didn’t wanna keep u waiting any longer. I kinda gave up with the end so sorry I hope it’s okay I tried to stick as closely as I could to the request 😭🫶🏼

[klaustozier]

the day after ; nijiro murakami

SUMMARY: after learning a few things from his girlfriend, nijiro would like to try some more things the next day.

{ continuation of shyness }

warnings: shy!nijiro x fem!reader, oral (on him), fingering, ass spanking, quickie in the shower, ridding, pet names (more for him than for you)

word count: 2k

this was a request multiple times, on multiple platforms, so i hope you like it.

english is not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistakes.

enjoy!

"Good morning, sweetie", Nijiro whispered softly, waking you up.

You opened your eyes and smiled seeing him with only his sweatpants and a tray with food in his hands. The brunette had prepared breakfast for both of them and was excited to eat it with you. He waited for you to sit down and placed the tray on your lap, climbing onto the bed and sitting beside you.

"Good morning", you smiled, giving him a peck, "There's a special reason for all this."

"I just love you so much", Nijiro whispered, making you smile adorably.

"I love you too", you said, giving him another peck.

Nijiro had made pancakes, sliced ​​strawberries, oranges and apples, brought cereal in a bowl with a glass of milk so the cereal wouldn't soak too soon, orange juice and two pieces of chocolate cake. The two ate while watching "Sailor Moon", one of the older man's arms around your shoulders, gently caressing your skin under his shirt that you had chosen to sleep in.

If the brunette was being honest, he wanted to comment on what they had done last night and how he wanted to do a few more things, but just thinking about it made his cheeks blush violently and his heart beat faster so he preferred not to say anything.

"I'm going to shower", you said, getting up.

"Oh… ok…", said Nijiro softly when he saw you pull his blouse over your head, getting naked in front of him.

"You're coming too", you stated.

The brunette nodded, "Okay", he said softly, getting up and following you to the bathroom.

You turned on the shower and checked the temperature while Nijiro watched, intently staring at your ass, his mind blank and his heart racing, his cheeks still flushed.

"Aren't you coming?", you asked, laughing softly at his goofy little face.

"I will, I will", he nodded and hurriedly took off his sweatshirt, following you into the stall.

You smiled and pulled him under the shower, they had never done anything like this and Nijiro was shaking with nervousness, which made you smile softly, "No need to be nervous", you whispered, pulling his face to yours.

The two kissed, the water falling under the taller's back, his hands going to your waist, holding gently, being soft and so, so shy. You smiled innocently, taking the wash cloth, putting soap on it, and started to wash his body. The brunette looked at you in shock, feeling the soft cloth going down his skin.

Nijiro tried to control himself, but seeing your skin wet and glistening with water, soap sliding across it, it was so erotic, he was soon apologizing for having an erection.

"Sorry…", he whispered, "I didn't mean… to make you uncomfortable…"

You smiled softly, "You don't need to apologize, baby boy."

"It's just… I can't…", and his voice died away as you knelt on the floor in front of him, "Don't do this to me."

Your soft tongue slid the length of his cock, hard and thick, pulsating, "Why not?"

"I'm going to pass out and hit my head", he whispered lostly, making you laugh.

"You're so cute", your tongue curled around the cock's delicate head and you sighed as you heard him moan, "Would you like to fuck my mouth again?"

"I don't want to hurt you", he whispered, the water lapping gently over his shoulders, his fingers stroking through your wet hair.

"But I want you to hurt me", you blinked your pretty eyes, your lashes adorably stuck together because of the water, making you look so beautiful, your tongue glided across the underside of his cock, "are you gonna deny me this? I thought you loved me."

"You can't manipulate me like that", Nijiro whispered, moaning softly as you sucked on his balls.

"Yes, I can", you smiled innocently and placed a kiss on the tip of his cock, making him sigh, "You know you want to… you can fuck my mouth, you won't hurt me."

He took a deep breath watching you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, just waiting. His big hands slid through your wet hair and he sank his cock into your mouth.

You purred, your eyes rolling back, feeling the cock weigh on your tongue slowly sliding first. Nijiro wanted to start off soft, give you time to get used to the movements. Your hands went up to his ass and squeezed the flesh lifting your eyes to his.

"You are so beautiful", he whispered, increasing the speed of his thrusts.

The warm water massaged his back as his cock moved in and out of that wonderful mouth. Saliva mixed with the water and your eyes stared at him, teary with lust, you looked so his.

"Enough", he whispered, letting go of his hair, "I'm going to cum."

You smiled, "Don't you want to cum in my mouth again, baby boy?", you started to masturbate him, fast, making him grab the walls trying to keep his balance.

"I don't want…", he groaned, trying to take a deep breath, "you force yourself to do anything to please me."

"I'm going to destroy you for being so cute", you sighed, still masturbating him, "Cum in my mouth please, I want your cum sliding on my tongue, I want to taste you again, please."

"Lord have mercy", whispered the brunette, one of his hands going to your hand that held his waist, squeezing it as he felt his orgasm hit him, his cum falling over your tongue, his moans getting softer.

His breaths were heavy, watching you swallow his cum looking so innocent.

You got up and held his little face in your hands, "You're so cute", and kissed him.

Nijiro's hands landed delicately on your back, his eyes widened when you lowered his fingers to your ass and made him sigh, squeezing the soft flesh.

The brunette pushed your against the wall, still kissing you, his tongue rubbing against yours with desperation, his hands went to your breasts and squeezed gently making you whimper.

"Nijiro", you whispered, your nipples being pinched.

"They are so delicate", he whispered.

He went back to kissing you, one of his hands stayed on your breast, pinching and sliding his fingers over the delicate nipple, and the other pulled your leg to his waist and took it to your pussy, sighing at the feel of how ready you were.

"Niji, please", you whispered, your hands gripping his shoulders.

The brunette kissed you, his fingers massaging your clitoris in rhythmic and circular movements, receiving whimpers and desperate moans, being swallowed by him.

Your moans grew louder as he sank two fingers inside you.

"Is everything okay?", asked Nijiro, wanting to know if he could continue.

"Yes, it is", you replied, biting your bottom lip, your moans getting louder.

He seemed mesmerized by you, by the desperation to cum, your hands gripping his shoulders, he could feel your insides tightening, slicking his fingers.

Murakami let go of your breast to hold your waist and give you stability as you came in his fingers. Your panting is heavy, uneven.

He took his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them, tasting your soft taste, before kissing you.

The two finished the shower right after, drying themselves, exchanging pecks and soft smiles. Nijiro stayed in the bathroom running a product through his hair before entering the room again, his little eyes widening seeing you lying face down on the bed, your little ass pointed at him.

"Niji?", you asked, once more, looking at him over your shoulder, laughing at his silly face, "Are you still with us?"

"It's just…", being caught looking at you like an idiot made him feel embarrassed, "Sorry, I was just looking…"

"Want to slap it?"

His eyes widened as if he'd heard the craziest thing in the world, "Ahn… ahn…?"

You chuckled and shook your hips, "Wouldn't you like to spank it, Niji?"

The brunette took a deep breath, "A lot."

"Then come here", you prompted, bending your knees, pushing your ass toward him.

Nijiro approached and squeezed the flesh of your ass, giving it a soft spank, making him sigh.

"You can hit harder, Nijiro."

"I do not want to hurt you."

"Don't be afraid, if it hurts I'll let you know, just try to go with a little strength, my baby boy", she asked softly, shaking your hips again.

"OK."

Nijiro took a deep breath and slapped harder, the moan you gave, made something light up inside him, it was such a soft whimper, so cute. Another slap was given, this time harder, making you moan louder.

"Are you hard again, Niji?"you asked, lifting yourself up on your hands and looking over your shoulder.

"I…", his forearm covered himself, trying to hide his erection.

You chuckled softly and turned over in bed, kneeling on the mattress, hugging his neck, "You shouldn't be ashamed to have fun", you whispered, giving him a peck.

"It's just… I just slapped you two and that's it?", he snorted, making you laugh.

"You are so lovely."

You kissed him, your ass being gripped harder, making you moan softly and give a little surprised moan as you were slapped again. The kiss continued slow and erotic, his hands tightened on your ass, giving strong slaps every now and then.

"Niji, please, you need to fuck me… please… please…", you repeated, placing kisses on his face.

"Ok…", he said softly, his cheeks flushing, making you smile.

"Sit at the headboard."

Nijiro nodded and soon obeyed, rummaging in the bedside table drawer, taking a condom, which you took from his hand. He watched you open the package, and got kissed as you slipped the condom on his cock. A soft sigh left his body, kissing you, his hands sliding over your ass, squeezing the soft flesh.

The feel of the skin of your chest against his was so good, when you hugged his neck and started to sit on his cock, he thought he was going to pass out, his eyes rolled back as he felt himself inch by inch getting inside you.

"Oh, fuck", you whispered, throwing your head back, "It's so big…", you purred, starting to move up and down your body, your hips swaying as your legs went through the motions.

"Such a fucking tight pussy", he whispered, his hands sliding down your waist to your ass, helping you move.

Nijiro moaned, low, his eyes lowered, watching you enjoying his cock, ridding with will, going deep, rolling his hips quickly, enjoying himself.

You pulled him in for another kiss, your legs losing themselves in the rhythm, his hands helping your movements, squeezing the soft flesh of your ass and forcing your movements to be stronger.

"I… baby… I think I'm going to cum…"

"Cum, baby boy", you whispered, "Cum for me", he panted heavily, his neck was hugged, "I can't wait for you to cum inside me, make my pussy full of cum."

"Princess", his hands gripped the flesh of your ass tightly, his toes curled.

"I was going to spend the whole day dripping cum, Niji…"

"Fuck…"

Finally, he came, his body shuddering with gentleness, agonized moans leaving his beautiful lips that were soon captured as you continued to ride without any pause, seeking your own pleasure.

It wasn't long before you had an orgasm too, your body no longer able to support itself, your legs abandoning your weight and leaving him completely buried inside you.

"Oh my god", you whispered, getting off him, your body slumping onto the bed, "I need another shower", you commented, making him laugh by taking the condom off his cock and throwing it to the floor.

Nijiro climbed over your body and gave you a peck, "Want me to get you some water first?"

"Please."

He smiled and nodded, "I'll be right back", once again he kissed you, "I love you."

You smiled, "And I love you."

…

permanent tags: @laylasbunbunny @saiewithakatana @hopelezzromanticsblog @mrs-sherlock-holmes

tags: @chlooooop @surshica @xoyouronlyamorrxo @astronoxx @elenity @etaerealboy @blodbaby @kittyoverraven

please reblog and leave a like if you enjoyed it! and leave a comment with your thoughts, i would love to know!

see ya next time.

(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

♡masterlist♡

[acorrespondence]

By chapter, so we'll start with Miami Part 1:

Raylan watches him as he comes, and it quickens Boyd’s blood to hold his gaze. It sometimes feels as though everything Boyd’s ever done was somehow rooted in the effort to get those eyes on him. Every time he kicked the back of Raylan’s chair in the first grade, or stood up to read aloud in sophomore English class; the first time he put his hands down Raylan’s pants, and the three months he spent talking Raylan into the second child Boyd had been seeing for a year in the wink of Raylan’s eye. His entire life fishing with dynamite, trying to get Raylan’s attention, a reaction, twisting himself into the catalyst for some spark behind Raylan’s eyes—anger or interest or the quick, fierce joy that sometimes lights his face for a fleeting moment, before he can think to tamp it down.

Boyd rolls off of Raylan when he starts to go restless underneath him, and Raylan turns promptly belly-down to bury his face. “‘M sorry,” Raylan mumbles into his pillow.

Boyd sighs and rubs Raylan’s back, like he does for the kids when they’re sick or sad—the way his mama used to do for him, her hands hard from the washing and soft with love. “We’ll be all right, Raylan,” he murmurs. Raylan doesn’t buck him off the way he might normally do, doesn’t snap at him or launch up in a huff, leaving Boyd alone in the bed. He only lets Boyd do this when they’ve just had sex, so he can blame the oxytocin and still pretend that excuse holds water. But he accepts Boyd’s gentling hands right now, and it’s enough to be getting on with.

Thank you so much for sending this! I’m really excited to get to the rest of your asks :) My pretty consistent headcanon for these guys is that they really weren’t all that close in high school. For this au, I went with the idea that they were friends in first grade, possibly also kindergarten and part of the second grade, but then their daddies had a falling out and they drew pretty abruptly apart as a result. I think it also probably had to do with Raylan getting into baseball—second grade is around the age when kids move from t-ball to Little League, and so Raylan would have been getting more serious about it—and Raylan becaming aware of the fact that he’s always been sort of infatuated with Boyd, which scares him. But I think throughout this time, Boyd still craved his attention, and it became almost a challenge for him to get it when Raylan was clearly trying so hard not to be drawn back into his orbit. Once they’re down in the mines, Raylan is too scared to use much energy keeping his distance from Boyd and so stops resisting his pull and they come back together. Boyd thrives off of attention, and he prizes Raylan’s attention above most if not all. He also loves a challenge, and Raylan spends so much time tamping down on his emotions that Boyd feels triumphant when he inspires emotions too strong to be repressed; he also likes to feel special, and loves being the one to get Raylan to actually express emotions besides those on the pissed-off side of the scale.

It’s very, very hard for Raylan to apologize because it means admitting fault, and being at fault was a very dangerous thing, in Arlo Givens’ house. He logically knows Boyd isn’t going to react that way but is afraid he will, and so he has a hard time not resenting Boyd for his gentleness, since he gets mad at himself for feeling relief because of it. He hates the proof that his own fear is not—well—justified. Meanwhile, Boyd remembers being comforted by his mother’s gentleness, so he offers it up anyway, to his kids and Raylan: at least as much as Raylan will let him. And Raylan does appreciate the gentleness, even if he doesn’t like what that says about him and so ends up trying to duck it most of the time. But Raylan letting Boyd comfort him, even if taking comfort is—ironically—uncomfortable for him, is itself a show of love. He has the tacit excuse of the touch being more about sex and closeness than comfort, which makes it easier. And so they both ultimately get what they need from this interaction, which is an illustration of why they work together, I think.

I’m also really proud of the last sentence of the first paragraph, it came together exactly as I wanted it to.

[stardustndreamsofsilver]

can you please write some angsty sammy that ends with him being lovey and cuddly:’) that danny one made me so sam starved hehe<3

Absolutely sweetie! 💕

Warnings: cursing, angst

“Sam, I’m really upset right now. You saw that I was uncomfortable yet you still acted like everything was fine. I clearly wanted to spend this evening with just you. Not you and your brothers. As much as I love them, I wanted to be alone with you. I thought that was pretty clear, yet you still let them invite themselves to dinner with us. We’ve spent every second of every day with them since the tour started. We haven’t had a chance to just enjoy one another. You know what, right now I feel like I’m just wasting my breath and repeating everything I said in the car. I’m going to go take a shower and go to bed. Alone.”

With a heavy sigh, you grab an oversized t-shirt and head to the bathroom. You were so mad you could scream. As you stepped into the shower, you thought back on everything that had happened that evening.

This was supposed to be an amazing night. The two of you were supposed to go to a romantic dinner. Eat some amazing food. Enjoy each other's company. Come back to the hotel and finally have some privacy. 

Of course, nothing happens to plan. When the boys caught wind that you were going to a popular local restaurant, they asked Sam if it was okay if they came too. You looked at him trying to discreetly tell him no. But, he didn’t pay any attention to you and invited them along. Sure, you could have spoken up, but you hated that you even needed to. 

When you were all at the restaurant, your annoyance with Sam festered. About midway through dinner, your attitude toward him was frosty at best. Only then did Sam notice that something was bothering you. When you all had finished, his brothers wanted to go out for a night cap. You politely declined. Sam decided that since you weren’t in the mood to go, he wouldn’t either. So, the two of you rode back to the hotel alone. 

As soon as you were buckled, Sam asked, ‘What crawled up your ass and died?’, which was all it took for you to go into what exactly was going on and why you were upset. The whole time Sam dismissing you and saying it really wasn’t that big of a deal. That of course upset you even more. So much so, that you just stopped talking for the rest of the ride back. 

When you got back to the hotel, you remained silent. All the way up in the elevator, down the hall to your room and opening your hotel room door. You silently took off your shoes and tossed them by your suitcase. Sitting down at the desk, you started taking off your jewelry. It wasn’t until you stood from the desk and started to take off your dress, that Sam broke the silence. Asking once again what made you so upset. Which led you to now. Hurt, annoyed and just wanting sleep. 

As you stepped out of the shower, you wrapped yourself in a towel and began you nightly routine. Washing off the rest of the makeup that didn’t come off in the shower. Washing your face with and acne wash and applying a night cream. Once you were done, you got dressed for bed and walked out of the bathroom. Coming out of the bathroom, your hotel room was dark and empty. Sighing, you figured Sam decided to leave and catch up with his brothers.

Crawling into bed, you laid down and closed your eyes. A few minutes passed, when you heard the lock on your door beep and the door open. Hearing the door close, you heard Sam walk up to your side of the bed.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” He asked.

Saying nothing, you turned around and faced him.

“I’m sorry I ruined your plans. I’m sorry that I didn’t even think about it when my brothers asked to come with us. I was stupid. Looking back, I really should’ve known that you planned all of that because you wanted to be alone with me. I’m sorry I dismissed your feelings. I’m sorry for being such an ass.” He said, kneeling down beside the bed. Taking your hand, he pressed it to his cheek and said, “I know you said you wanted to sleep alone tonight and I will respect that. But is there any chance you changed your mind?”

Rubbing your thumb against his cheek, you nod your head and scoot over making room for him. Sam stood and got undressed before climbing into bed with you.

“Is it okay if I hold you?” He asks.

You answer by moving close to him and wrapping your arms around him and tangling your legs together. He quickly wraps his arms around you and rests his chin on the top of your head. Sighing deeply, you feel his body relax. Rubbing his back, you look up at him. 

“I’m sorry too. I love you. I just wanted to be with you.” You say.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” He says pushing the hair out of your face. “Let’s just lay here and be together.” He says giving you a kiss.

And that is exactly what you did. You spent the rest of the night and most of the next day laying in each other's arms. Relishing in the fleeting moments alone you had together.

[the-fiction-witch]

You Have It So Easy!

MOVIE NOWHERE BOY COUPLE PAUL X READER RATING FUNNY 

I sat at my vanity working with all my little tools, pallets and powders attempting to sculpt and style my face currently holding my breath as I attempted to get my eyeliner to match.

I saw Paul sitting on my bed with one of my magazines having had a flip through it now throwing it lazily on my bed beside him,

"Are you ready yet?" He asks

"Five more minutes"

"You said that half an hour ago"

"Yes. well if you want your girlfriend to look beautiful. You have to wait. Perfection takes time"

"How many times have I told you" he laughs getting up and coming to give me a cuddle "whether you're made up and in a beautiful ball gown or if you're in just my shirt and a bed head I don't care I still think your beautiful"

"well if you want to show your pretty girlfriend at the dance hall I have to do this. I refused to go out looking like a trash panda"

"Alright, fine" He sighed "but any later we'll miss the guys."

"Alright I'll be quick" I smiled "You have it so easy"

"What?"

"You do, you don't have to do anything"

"I do my hair"

"that takes two minutes"

"I have to put a suit on"

"Again two minutes, you don't have to do all the stuff girls do"

"well guys have a lot of stuff we have to do too"

"Really? you know what. Tomorrow if you came over we'll trade"

"Alright deal if you can't put up with it, then... You have to.... make me a strawberry pie anytime I want"

"Okay, and if you want to put it with it then... you won't ever complain about how long it takes me to get dressed and ready to go out"

"Deal."

I sat on my bed waiting reading my magazine as I waited.

"And I am Washed" Paul smiled as he came into the bedroom with his towel

"Good, Now first step sugar scrub" I smiled grabbing the little pot

"What now?"

"sugar scrub"

"Sugar? scrub?"

"Yep rub it across all of your body"

"why?"

"Exfoliations"

"Right okay" he nods taking the little pot and having a scoop working on scrubbing it up and down his body having to work very hard in strange ways to reach all the areas he needed "How... how do I get the back of me?"

"you got to figure that out, Paul"

"This is insane"

"giving up already?"

"No! I just don't like it" he sighed "right I think I have got all of me. dress?"

"No. now we lotion" I smiled passing over the bottle

"So I exfoliate now I lotion?"

"Yep"

"Fine" he sighed grabbing the bottle and lotioning his body too doing his best to make sure he got everywhere "I feel like... slick. Like I could slide down the stairs"

"Maybe" I giggled

"I am so lavender scented."

"I know, to be fair everything you'd had so far is lavender"

"Okay, what's next?"

"Next you can have underwear"

"Okay, just underwear?"

"Yep."

"Alright." He sighed

"Bra"

"what? No. no, I'm Not-"

"Yes. go on"

"Fine can I have help?"

"Yes" I smiled going and giving him a hand making sure to put it on a little tighter

"Owww. Oww. damn! you wear this all day?"

"Yep"

"... I mean if you don't wanna wear a bra I wouldn't be mad"

"I know you wouldn't" I smiled "Panties" I giggled passing him one to match the bra

"I... I have an objection"

"Then you lose"

"No. not loose. simply objecting due to... our different bodies."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, my dick will not fit in here"

"do it or you give up" I giggled

"fine" He sighed "This does not fit me in any way"

"if you move and readjust a little" I smiled

"ahhh yeah. there we go" he says

"next stockings"

"You hate these I know I will" he sighed taking them and attempting to get them on "fucking! how does it work! how do you do this!" he yells

"Its complicated" I smiled

"There. Done." he sighed

"Good job"

"I hate these soo much" He sighed "dress now?"

"Nope. Spanks"

"spanks?" he asked

"Yep." I smiled passing them over "Is this too small for me?"

"Nope"

"But... it looks way too small"

"That's so it squeezes" I smiled having to give him a hand to get into it

"This is horrible. How do you live like this!"

"it's hard but it's called being a woman!"

"I don't ever wanna be a woman! this is horrible"

"Yeah hard isn't it" I smiled

"I feel so strange" He sighed "and my stockings keep rolling down"

"Yep, this shall aid that." I smiled passing over the next thing he needed "Garter"

"This looks like a torcher device"

"It kinda is" I smiled setting it up for him as he had no idea how to do it

"How do you bend?"

"Carefully" I smiled

"Do I put the dress on now?"

"Yes. you may choose a dress"

"Roses!"

"Alright" I smiled grabbing my rose dress and doing it up for him

"It doesn't quite... at the top does it?"

"Not really. but you do have a bra, a dress and no boobs."

"That's true. right, can we go out now?"

"Nope."

"why not?"

"You need to curl your hair"

"right" he sighed sitting in the chair at the vanity "hand me the gel?"

"Nope no gel"

"Then how will it curl?"

"We use curlers" I smiled heating them up "and hairspray" I smiled spraying a little at him making him cough

"That stuff is horrible"

"yes it is" I smiled doing his hair for him as he had no idea how to do it

"Owww! you're burning my head"

"No, I'm not paul. Don't be a baby"

"I'm allowed to be a baby this hurts"

"be a strong woman!"

"I'm not strong, very weak"

"While we curl you need a face mask"

"A face mask?"

"Yep. a face mask, eye patches, and then coolers for your eyes, then serums, then you can start on makeup"

"All while you're doing my hair?"

"Yep"

"fuck it no. I give up"

"Really? we haven't even started make up"

"I don't care. I'm done! I'm sorry for what I said you win!"

"yay!" I giggled "this is all it took to make you give in"

"Yes I give in, you win I will never complain again! I really am sorry y/n I had no concept the amount of work you put in to look as beautiful as you do everyday"

"Thank you Paul" I smiled

[joy-of-life88]

Can I love again? [a Roman Reigns story] 14 After the storm

"Okay Dr. Grayson. Thanks again for letting me call on such short notice. See you next time." I said and then ended the call with my therapist.

I blew my nose and washed my hands. While I was at it, I splashed some more cold water on my face. Then I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. My eyes were puffy and red. I knew that even with makeup and all the concealer in the world, I wouldn't be able to hide them for the next few days.

After taking my phone, I walked out of the hotel bathroom. In the bedroom, Roman was already waiting for me with eyes filled with worry. Carefully I climbed into bed with him. With a deep, tired sigh, I laid my head against his chest so that I could listen to his heartbeat. Something that had calmed me since day one.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly as he began to play with strands of my hair.

"A little better. I'm glad Dr. Grayson had time for me this late. After all, it's the middle of the night." I replied.

"I know it's none of my business, but.... what did he say?" he asked very carefully.

I took a deep breath. I was aware that he didn't want to upset me, especially after this day, but I wanted to tell him anyway.

"He says... well, he says I have to get used to the idea that something like today can happen again and again. And as long as I don't deal with it openly, it will keep hitting me so hard and hurting me again. He thinks it is better if I open up more and talk about my loss. That way I keep control and no one has the power to overwhelm me.

It is important to take back my power. Even if it means answering questions, unpleasant questions. If I want to continue doing this job, I have to stop hiding. Only by behaving normally, other people will behave normally towards me as well. So after a while, at least, when the initial curiosity has passed," I explained to him.

"That sounds conclusive, all in all. Do you think you can handle it?" Roman wanted to know.

"I don't know. I guess only time will tell. If it turns out I can't, then it's not like I need this job." I replied as I sat up to look at him.

"Yeah, that makes sense. But what do you mean when you say you don't need the job? Do you want to quit?" he asked and I heard him start to panic.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to let that snake win. I sure as hell won't. Besides, I love being able to spend so much time with you, Romeo. There's no need to panic. It's just that... James had a pretty big life insurance policy. Which, by the way, I had no idea about. And then I got money from the guy who caused the accident. Or rather from his insurance company. However, I did not keep this money. I donated it to charity. A children's hospital. This money was blood money for me. I didn't want to have anything to do with it," I said as I took his hand in mine and played with his finger.

"That's understandable. I would have done the same. That way, something beautiful can still come out of tragedy." he replied, giving me a small smile.

"Yes, that was my thought too," I agreed.

"Listen... I've been thinking. I'm not needed for the next week and I thought we could take a little vacation. I want to spend an undisturbed week with you somewhere. Maybe some tropical place or something. What do you think about that?" said Roman then.

"Although that sounds very nice and I would like to do that.... but I can't go next week. There's something I need to do. Maybe some other time." I replied, lowering my gaze.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not right now. But if you want to take the week off anyway, we could spend it at my place. And I can show you what I mean. It's really important to me." then I said.

"I would do anything for you, angel. After today, I'm more aware of that than ever before," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked because I didn't understand what he was getting at.

"Oh let me put it this way.... nothing is too much to ask to protect you." he smirked before pulling me back against his chest.

I decided to leave it at that. The day had been exhausting enough as it was. We still had time to talk about it.

[minieverse]

౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ

pairing: ot8!straykids x fem!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: cursing

i wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the support!!—🍥🐶

~You’re in a relationship with skz members and it’s going pretty well!~

౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ

Reader:

I’m currently working on a project i have for work while some of the boys are gone to get food and the others are laying on the couch watching a movie.

I’ve been trying to get it done for a few hours now and always something is happening- “Noona!!” the youngest member calls “Yes Innie?” i respond still writing on my laptop trying to get my work done “Noona come here!!” he looks at me waiting for my response “Innie sweetheart i’m working right now i’ll come when im-’’ “Please Noona!” Han face cries while getting on his knees “Okay okay i’m coming” i rolled my eyes and saved my work so i can finish it later, as i’m walking to the couch the door opens,the others are here “We are back!” Chan says while taking off his coat and shoes “What did you get!?” Seungmin asks “We got fried chicken and noodles for everyone” Lee know answers and starts serving us food.

Well before we eat we want to watch a. movie but it always ends up with arguments “Fuck no you picked the movie last time!” Hyunjin yells at Changbin “You won’t die if i pick again!”Binnie responds, he’s right i mean everyone else focuses on eating right now not who is picking the movie, “I will!” Hyunjin fake faints, laughter fills the air as Changbin pick as movie and we all start eating.

“I’m so full!” Lee know complains while we all lay back so we can rest, Jeongin is beside me, his head on my shoulder and on the other side is Felix caressing my thigh. “Innie change your sit with me” Han says “Huh!?Yeah no shit keep dreaming i want noona next to me”Jeongin replies while the others laugh and he starts holding my arm tight, “Innie baby i sleep in your bed today let Hannie change his sit for now” i giggle looking at his pouty face “Okay okay but you own me Hyung!” he says while pointing at Han, Han laughs and changes sits with Jeongin so he’s beside me now, hearing Jeongin mumbling while sitting down away from me now, he puts his head on my lap and i start playing with his hair while we continue watching the movie.

After the movie is finished we all get up and clean up the room, as i’m washing the dishes i feel hands creepin around my waist and it gives me goosebumps, it’s Chan “Hey baby” he whispers in my ear, i smile “Hey Chan” he gives me a kiss on the neck “Come on let’s cuddle all together” he suggests “One moment Channie i need to finish the dishes” i respond while trying to finish them faster “Yes baby i’ll wait for you” he smiles sitting down on the chair behind me by the table.As i’m done i dry my hands with a hand towel and walk over to Chan giving him a warm kiss “Let’s go!” i say holding his hand so he can get up, we all lay on the couch again snuggling together “Noona i miss you!” Seungmin says while fake crying being too far to even touch my leg “i miss you too honey!” i fake cry back while giggling.

The rest of the night goes like this, us cuddling and the boys play fighting “Take your foot off of my face before i bite it off!” Lee know threatened Han while Han was messing with him laughter was filling the room once again.

౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ ౨ৎ

I’m sorry it’s pretty small!!I hope you like it tho—🐭🎀

𐙚you can always request if you wanna see something specific!!Thank you so much for the support!—🩷

[nella09archive]

Marriage. 77

Chapter 77: Admitting

Once Goku got Goten, it was clear Goten was upset. He explained how everyone was scared of him. Though his friends were the only ones nice to him. Then he told how Goku gave everyone a heart attack. “I told you Goku not to do that.” Goten then started his homework. It was getting late when Gohan finally came home. He had a very big smile. Goku’s question made him blush, but the smile never left.

When asked about the smile, he just tries to talk about his day. Just leave it alone. My baby is happy, and I want to know. The rest of dinner went be quiet. As I washed dishes, Gohan went to his room, and Goten had Goku watching cartoons with him. Once dishes were done it was family time, and Gohan insist he had to finish his assignments. With that, I joined Goku and Goten in watching cartoons. Seems Goku found something that he enjoys with Goten. So cute.

Once I put Goten to bed, I start heading to our room. When I close the door, I’m ambush by my husband. “You know it would be nice, if I wasn’t being ambushed every time we’re alone.”

“But where’s the fun in that? Also, you’re just so irresistible.” He kissed my neck, and carried me to the bed. Hey! I can’t go to bed like this! “One night will be fine. Besides.” He kissed my cheek. “I really want to be with you.”

“Goku.” I hit his shoulder. “Control.”

“You’re my wife. Control is something I don’t know when we’re alone.” I started to giggle. He had set us under the covers. As we got comfy, he kept kissing my neck. “Do you still want me to tell you? Or can I.” He kiss my cheek, then landed a kiss on my lips. “Do what I wanted to do earlier?” He was rubbing my side and dropping kisses on my lips.

“Tell me. I did promise I would give you my full attention. So, come on. Tell me. Please.”

He kissed me one more time. “I’ll tell you. But you don’t have to say please when you ask me things. You know I’ll always say yes.” Sometimes I wonder. “Hey.” I raised my eyebrow. “Ok, ok. When it comes to chores I don’t always say yes. Happy now.” I nodded. He held me close as he told me what he been thinking about.

… …

It’s been 3 months since I been dead. After the whole tournament, everything became pretty relaxed. Too relax for my taste. As much as I love training and eating, it didn’t feel right. I was actually getting bored with the same thing in and out. Chichi was right. I need to do other things. I wish it didn’t take me to be dead to realize that. I wonder what’s she’s doing right now. probably having Gohan study as she cleans around the house. She had her own daily routine, but even she knew how to change it up a bit. Why can’t I?

Before Raditz, I thought I had the perfect life with my little family. I still trained, but I did other things too that made me happy. I admit I was getting bored, since there was nobody to fight. But when it came down to it, I was still happy. I did things with my little boy. I spent time with my lovely wife. Whenever something new happen to them I was very excited. It was the first time in my life that I found peace. It felt like years that I felt that happy. After grandpa had died, I was scared. I did do things that made me happy, but deep down I was scared.

Then memories of that day came up. How terrified and alone I felt. How weak I felt for not being there to save grandpa. I felt like I betrayed him in some way. It took me months to get over it. To actually months to stop seeing his dead body in my dreams. It took more months to accept I was alone. That the very person I loved and cared for was gone. As hard as I tried to focus on his teaching, I still felt guilty. It took me a while to rebuild our home. But the moment I found his ball, I felt happy again. I started thinking that the ball my grandpa left behind was him. It just made sense. So, every day I would talk to it as if I was talking to grandpa. It made the pain better.

Then thoughts of my friends came to play. At the time, I was just so happy to meet someone else. I was just happy to finally not be alone. If it was just for a little while. But when she touched grandpa, I was so angry. Bulma knew what would happen after the wish and she didn’t tell me. She knew all along and she didn’t tell me. Even though I felt hurt, she gave me hope that I’ll find grandpa again in one year. But thinking about our adventures now, is making me question our every friendship.

If I wasn’t what I was, she could have easily killed me with her card, or gun. She saw I was useful for her. Is that really all I was at the time? Some strong kid that could keep her safe? Sure, feels like it. She sent me to do the dangerous stuff, without a second though. But I am grateful for her, because I wouldn’t have met Chichi.

Chichi. The only one who smiled at me, and wanted to play. She didn’t ask me to do things for her. She was very nice to me. Krillin and Yamcha wasn’t nice to me at first, but after a while we became best friends. They didn’t really hurt me like Bulma. But they did call me stupid if I didn’t know something. But they tried to help. Still felt like I was the strongest among them, and they easily stepped back. Still feels like it was always up to me to save the day.

Thanks to Bulma I made friends, and enemies. But I am still upset nobody told me about my tail. Grandpa didn’t tell me, none of my friends told me. Everyone hid that truth from me. They claim they were protecting me. Saying how it would be better I didn’t know. Since it’ll meant I would know I killed my grandpa. But what if they did tell me? Maybe I could have gotten rid of my tail for good sooner. Maybe I would have been more careful around the full moon.

But then what about Gohan. My little boy. My son. What if I didn’t know and I saw him transform? I could have thought he was the monster that killed my grandpa. And what if I killed my own son? And when I found out, how would I ever live with myself. I wouldn’t even be able to look at Chichi anymore. I would rather wish I died intend. I could always wish him to life, but it wouldn’t erase what I have done. I would have killed someone else that I loved, and it would have broken me. With that thought alone I felt enraged at my so-called friends. I could have killed my son. I would have betrayed my family’s trust in me. I would be hurting the people I cared the most for. I’m nothing more than a monster!

I’m so grateful my so-called brother showed up. I’m so thankful I saw Vegeta transform. Somehow, I was just grateful to them. If they never showed, how would I have found out what I was? My friends didn’t know. Master Roshi did surprising knew something. Why he never told me? Even Ox King knew something, and he didn’t tell me anything. I felt betrayed and hurt. But I did find it funny the ones to be my worst enemy were the only ones truly honest with me.

Piccolo hated my guts, but he helped me out, when my friends were too scared to help me. I don’t agree with him taking my son, but he kept him alive. Vegeta is a different story. He was honest with me from the very start. He didn’t hide what he was after. He helped me figure out things I had so many buried questions for. On Namek, he was upfront about his selfish reasons for helping. When he left me to fight that purple guy, it wasn’t because he thought I would win. He admitted he didn’t care less. I wasn’t surprise, like the others, but he didn’t hide what he was doing. He could have easily let me die, but he helped me. But he made it clear it was selfish reasons. Not once did he state he was doing it because a change of heart, or that he felt sorry for me. He was honest through and through.

When I was battling the heart virus, he saved me. When all my friends were letting me fight. Everyone thought I could do it. I thought I could do it. But Vegeta didn’t see that. He could have easily let me died by the android’s hands, but he didn’t. He saved me in time. During the 3 years leading to the battle, we did share a few words. He didn’t share much about himself, or answer many questions. But he kept reminding how we’re the last of our race. He looked so hurt saying that. He kept saying how I better live through this. He wants a proper rematch. He would be the only other person I know I could really trust. He made me feel I didn’t have to worry about my back being cover.

… …

“Didn’t anyone else do that for you?” I shook my head.

“I still felt I was fighting alone. I technically I was.” She snuggled up to me. I kissed her forehead. “You know what was the worst part of it all?”

“What?”

“The person I shouldn’t have trusted, someone who proven shouldn’t be trusted, was the one who was really honest with me.” She kissed my chin. “Want me to continue? I don’t think I answer your original question.”

“Yeah. You didn’t.” I just told her every time thoughts of her came up, I tried putting more effort in my training. “Did it help?”

“Nope. I did the opposite. I thought of you more.”

“So, what you do then?”

“I found a place away from everyone. As I tried to calm down, the thoughts of you became stronger. I tried a lot of things. Like counting, mediating, thinking how hurt I must likely made you.”

“Why you thought of that?”

“It killed the mood. And it made me feel angry with myself. I thought about all the ways I hurt you. And everything I wish I could do over. It made me think how much I don’t deserve you. I been awful. I hurt my wife with my actions. I felt regret.” I looked down at her, and she had tears in her eyes. “Hey. I told you’re not allowed to cry anymore. What’s the matter?”

“Yes, you hurt me, but I understood your actions. How could I not understand? I’m your wife. I know who you are. Even though I felt hurt, I knew you never meant it. So, you have nothing to regret.”

I kissed her deeply. “See, I don’t deserve you. You’re too perfect.” I kissed her again. “I don’t know what I did to have you.”

“You are you. Now show me your smile.” I smiled at her. My Chichi is truly perfect. “I am curious.” About what? “Why didn’t you set in to save Videl? Or our Gohan?” Oh boy.

“Not like I didn’t want to, and trust me, I wanted to. But it’s against tournament rules. Not only did I have to hold back a very angry Gohan, I was holding myself back. Everything felt really wrong. The moment the ‘fight’ was over, I went to go get a senzu bean for her. After that, during the match with Gohan, Grant Kai stated he would be fine. I didn’t like it one bit. I even tried to keep Videl from helping, and let me say.” She looked at me with a puzzled face. “Gohan definitely found a keeper with that one.” She smiled at me. “She sure cares for our Gohan, it made me happy.”

“Why?”

“Our little Gohan is going to be happy with that one.” She snuggled up to me, and agreed.

-----

Ch76

[amtopmthoughts]

JOURNALING

So I'm trying to do this journaling thing

January 1st

First day of 2021. Stayed at home.

Good things

Watched cats, which I've been wanting to do for a while, but didn't really like it

Started to watch a movie I wanted to watch

Ate food and it felt good

Managed to stay away from social media a little more

My birthday's coming

Started doing this

Bad things

Felt like people don't really like me. Again.

Fought with my mom. Again.

Felt anxiety. Again.

January 5th

See, I told you I was bad at this… To be fair my days are pretty much the same everyday. I get up, try to remember to drink water first thing in the morning, I eat breakfast, try to be proactive and NOT eat while on the couch watching Netflix and staying there being lazy and procrastinating for hours - ignoring the things I have to do and then ending up being late and getting behind in all the things I have to do for the day - or at least, if I do, I can gather the courage to get up right away and get on with my day.

I’ll brush my teeth and wash my face and moisturize. Then I’ll make my bed - and sometimes my mom’s too - and make house chores like tidying up and sweeping the floor - things like that.

After that, now that my winter break is over and I’m back to classes, it’s almost time for my first of the two classes of the day and that’s what I do. I’ll make something to eat, eat leftovers or order something from uber eats to lunch, which is what happens most often - need to get better at that. Then, after I’m done with classes, I usually go to the couch and watch Netflix while being on my phone or computer (sometimes both) - I also need to get better at that. Then I eat dinner, if I do and brush my teeth and wash my face and moisturize again. and usually go to my bedroom and continue to be on Netflix or whatever it is that I’m in the mood to do - it can be reading glee fanfics, watching interviews, writing, listening to music - basically it’s everything EXCEPT doing school work.

Good things

I’m getting better at waking up earlier. I never wake up too late, but I know I should and I want to wake up earlier - the ideal is between 8:30 and 9, 8:30 would be awesome.

The thing is I’ve been having some trouble with falling asleep. I never had much trouble sleeping except for a few nights over the years - I consider myself pretty luck in that department - I don’t really have bad nights where I can’t sleep and struggle to fall asleep like insomnia and what not. But lately it’s taken me awhile to be able to fall asleep. I’ll be ready to sleep at like 10 or 11 and only fall a sleep at like 1 or 2 in the morning, if not 3. But I think it’s getting better, I still don’t feel like I fall asleep as easily or as fast as I usually did but it’s not taking so long as two weeks ago.

Besides that, I usually “struggle” with only sleeping 8 hours. I feel like I feel better rested if I have slept 5 or 6 hours than if I have slept only 8. Like 8-80. Overall I feel like I have to sleep 10 hours but I know that’s just habit and laziness combined.

But 2021 is the year for TRYING so we’re doing exactly that: trying. We’re trying to be better. So we’re trying to sleep only 8 hours because that’s really all we need and that’s 2 hours I can use for something more useful than sleeping.

I know I have moments of weakness. I’m not very disciplined, that’s one of the worst traits about me - if not the worst. 

At night, before I fall asleep, I think about everything I’m going to do the next day and in the next day I wake up with no will to actually do them. I put my alarm clock to 9:30 and then wake up and be like “NOOOO I want to sleep longer” and give in to myself and put on snooze for another hour more.

So, to avoid this, I resorted to some “drastic” measures: I put my phone as further away as possible from me so I can’t reach it without having to get up. That way, I’m forced to get up to actually turn the alarm off. Last night I put my alarm to 8:30 and went to sleep at 00:11 and in the morning, when I woke up, I really didn’t feel like getting up yet so I was fair to myself and decided to sleep an extra hour. I decided to go easier on myself - baby steps. I’ll get there. Honestly I’m proud just taking these steps and getting up even an hour earlier than I usually do. My plan is to sleep 9 hours for like a month to get used to not sleeping 10 and then move on to 8 hours, so it can be an easier adjustment for me. I really have no rush. That’s an issue I struggle with a lot. Rushing. I have no patience, specially when it comes to myself. I always want things too fast and don’t always remember that things take time, there’s always a process involved.

Today I did another great thing. I worked out. It wasn’t much, though, but I did, I actually did it. I first did a 20 minutes pilates workout which left my upper abs sore - yay for that - and then a broadway dance workout because I think maybe it will be easier for me to do it if it’s something I enjoy. When I finished the pilates workout - Claudia Sulewski’s video on youtube - she sat on the floor for a little unwinding and reflection time. She said it’s time to be grateful, for having took that time for ourselves and to do something that felt good. I cried. I instantly cried. I hadn’t worked out since may probably and I REALLY struggled with getting back at it. I’ve been struggling with my weight for the past two years but this past year was specially hard for me. I started working out while in quarantine back in march, because I was feeling good about myself and felt motivated. There was this couple on instagram who did daily 16 minutes working and I felt pressured - in a good way - to join them, so I did. Soon I added other workouts to the one I was already doing and started working out approximately an hour a day. This was also the time I found out I had been cheated by my boyfriend - a whole other story - and at first the anger I felt turned into a boost for my workouts. I felt empowered, I felt that girl power, you know? I felt like the bomb body I was going to get was the best revenge I was going to get on him, just working on myself and bettering myself. But it didn’t last long. The anger soon turned into sadness as what it happened started to actually sink in. It was like at first I wasn’t even acknowledging what had happened and as I soon as I let myself fell the things that the situation made me feel, I broke down. I suddenly began to feel self conscious and insecure, like what he had done was somehow a reflection of who I was as a person, as a girlfriend. I think we all feel like shit when we get cheated on but this was different. I didn’t feel like it was my fault - at first, at least - but I thought to myself “he doesn’t love me after all, he never loved me, I trusted him, how could I have been so naive” like that had so much more to do with ME than with him. A long time after that I read an interview on a magazine where a woman talked about getting cheated on and she said “when someone cheats on you it’s never YOUR problem, it’s always THEIR problem, it’s some issue they have they still have to work on” and that resonated with me. I think she was right. But I don’t totally believe I had nothing to do it - but more of that on another time. Bottom line is, as soon as I started to feel like shit about this I stopped working out. The thing with me is, feeling depressed or sad doesn’t motivate me as I believe to be the case with many other people. The days I feel most sad are the days I don’t feel like doing ANYTHING. I don’t have the energy to lift a finger, I just wallow and lay on my couch feeling miserable eating shit and watching tv without paying any attention to it because I just feel so anxious and disconnected with everything. When I have days like these, sometimes I can’t even choose a movie or a tv show or to watch or what songs to listen to. I never quite figured out why this is but I guess it has something to do with me just not wanting to do anything at all.

So, I stopped working out and ate more and more junk food. I felt like that was somehow comforting me. Like I was allowing myself to eat and to indulge made me feel like I accepted myself. Then I started to gain even more weight and started to dislike more and more the reflexion I saw in the mirror, I was feeling worse and worse about myself. More and more insecure, more and more self conscious. Then, I wanted to get back at it, I knew I had to and that I needed to but I couldn’t. I always made excuses for not doing it and I think that’s another sign of how bad my mental state was. Like when you self sabotage yourself and you’re unable to do things for yourself and to help yourself. I don’t know, I mean, I’m no expert.

But today I did workout - because today I felt better. I have been feeling better. So that’s why I cried. i just felt so emotional, I finally managed to do it. It might not seem like much, but its huge for me, believe me. And im extremely appreciative and thankful for that - to myself and to life. For breathing and being able to make decisions that help me better myself.

January 6th 

I worked out today again. SECOND day in a row. It was hard, I couldn’t follow through in some exercises but cut me some slack, please, im trying. My abs are sore and my thighs are too and I guess thats a good sign. Today was a productive day. I’m thankful for today. Getting back at it again.

[rendevousz]

the favourite

avengers x fem!teen!reader

summary: you are the baby avenger and everyone is platonically whipped for you.

genre: fluff, crack

warnings: none, maybe just my inability to write good endings

word count: 3497

note: um second oneshot hope this one's good gaaah

"hey, doll. whatcha' reading?" you glanced up to see bucky, who then plopped down next to you on the couch in the common room. "it's called 'shadow and bone'. it's a novel that's turning into a netflix series in like a month," you smiled at the super soldier, lifting up your book a little to show him the cover. his eyebrows raised at the information, lips tugging into a knowing smirk.

"yes, bucky, i'll watch the series with you." you rolled your eyes playfully at him. ever since he officially became an avenger and moved into the tower with the rest of you, you've been helping him 'get with the times' —as sam likes to call it— just as you did steve a few years prior.

steve had told his best friend that you were the best at stuff like this. after all, you were the youngest avenger. and you had a lot of free time on your hands; having no school since you were pretty much the only one besides vision who could compete with tony's or bruce's intelligence.

so really, school wasn't mandatory for you according to tony. at least, after you had asked him if you could just not attend and he cracked ten seconds after you pulled the puppy dog eyes.

you also had significantly less trainings than the rest of the team. this one wasn't because you were an expert on the field or something —well, you were, but so were the rest of the team but they still had almost daily trainings while you had half the amount they did— this was because you had cap wrapped around your tiny little finger.

and as for the team, they couldn't even be mad about it because if they were in the captain's position, they would probably be the same. everyone just loved you too much.

"do you mind if i turned on the tv?" bucky asked, afraid that you wouldn't want background noise while you were reading but obviously you didn't mind so you shook your head as you continued to read. not long after, you closed your book with a bookmark between the pages you stopped at before shoving in into bucky's hands and running up into your room to quickly grab your blanket.

he watched you run out of the common room in confusion before chuckling when he saw you run back in looking tiny with a huge, fluffy blanket in your arms. you went back to your spot on the couch next to him, spreading the blanket over both your laps, bucky smiling fondly as he watched you fix it before turning to him. "comfy?" you asked and he nodded, giving you back your book as you cuddled up to him. he smiled down at you and wrapped an arm around you while you leaned against his chest.

"what's this? movie night without me?" you two looked up at the owner of the voice and saw sam walking in, making his way to the kitchen, probably to make himself some coffee. "what movie are you guys watching?" he asked, leaning against a pillar to look at the tv, trying to figure out what movie was playing.

"actually, only bucky's watching the movie—it's mean girls, by the way—and i'm just reading my book." you told sam without looking at him, lifting your book up high to show him before lowering it back down to continue reading it.

"barnes, what are you doing watching a movie while y/n is reading? she won't be able to focus with all that background noise, shut it off." sam told him off, now back in the kitchen to make his coffee. you shook your head at the man's antics. "sam, it's fine. i told him it was okay,"

"of course you did, you're too sweet to say no to anyone." he quipped back, now standing nearby, watching the tv too, seemingly interested in the movie playing. you only rolled your eyes playfully at him before going back to the book. after a few minutes of him just standing, bucky spoke up. "just sit down if you want to watch the whole movie, birdbrain."

and sit he did. on your other side, snuggling comfortably under your blanket after putting his now empty mug on the coffee table. this caused bucky to huff as he pulled the other end of the blanket which led to them having a tug-of-war over the blanket, you unfortunately stuck in the middle of it. deciding that it was too distracting to read while squished between two grown men who were also fighting for the blanket, you finally closed your book.

"sam, can you help me put this on the coffee table?" you handed sam your book and he immediately took it, stretching his body forward to place it on the coffee table. with the book out of the way, you could finally settle comfortably and the blanket was now shared between the three of you equally. not long after, your head was back against bucky's chest with his arm around you while your legs were over sam's lap under the blanket, one of his arms resting over it above the blanket. if it had been someone else doing that to sam, they probably would've had their legs chopped off already.

"movie night and you didn't invite me?" you chuckled at the question by the newcomer, tony, finding it funny how sam said almost the exact same prior to him. "you're welcome to join us, tony." you offered kindly, to which he replied with a small chuckle.

"i'm just kidding, cupcake. i came up for a drink and a little snack but that's it, i have stuff to finish down in the lab." you nodded understandingly, turning back to the screen in front of you.

"hey, stark, while you're there can you grab me a bottled water from the fridge?" bucky asked him. "oh yeah can you grab me chips from the snacks cabinet too?" sam added.

"you guys have legs for a reason, get them yourselves, i'm not your maid," tony sassed and you bit back a chuckle. bucky and sam then decided to rock-paper-scissors the situation to decide who had to get up and get the water and chips. bucky ended up losing and he begrudgingly got up and came back quickly with his water and sam's chips.

shortly afterwards, tony approached the three of you on the couch, with a juice box and a small bag of pretzels; your go-to movie snack. "here you go, cupcake." he handed them to you and you accepted them happily, beaming at him while he ruffled your hair.

bucky and sam shared a look of disbelief at tony's actions. "what gives, man? we asked for stuff and you didn't want to do it but y/n gets her stuff without even having to ask for it?" sam complained.

"that's because y/n's my baby. now shut up and let her watch the movie in peace." he scolds before leaving the common room, leaving the two men to huff in annoyance. it soon washed off though when you laughed out loud at a scene and they returned back to normal, loving the sound of your contagious laughter.

when the movie ended, it was already late and you had fallen asleep on an also asleep bucky. sam took a look at you and chuckled. he slowly removed the blanket from over himself and you, gently scooping you up into his arms and taking you back into your room, laying you down on your bed. he noticed the lack of blanket on your bed and remembered the blanket you brought down to the common room. he opened your closet for a spare blanket, retrieving it before covering you with it, tucking you in. "night, kiddo." he whispered, kissing your forehead before leaving the room.

-

next morning came and you groggily stretched, noticing that you were in your room. last you remembered was falling asleep mid movie. you deduced that it was most likely either bucky or sam who carried you back to bed. you went to your closet to grab work out clothes since you had training today, before realising what day today was. wanda's breakfast day. you quickly ran to the bathroom and got ready.

once you were done, you dried your hair and left your room, practically bouncing with excitement when you thought of what wanda probably made for breakfast. the week had been a bad breakfast week since everyone who had so far been tasked breakfast duty, sucked at cooking. the only good cook of the team was wanda, explaining your overexcitement.

before you could get far though, you slammed into a solid body, being caught by your wrists before you could fall. "be careful, lady y/n!" a deep voice spoke and you look up, a large smile on your face before you jumped happily, taking the man into a big hug. "thor! you're back!"

he laughed, returning the hug, you almost disappearing due to his big frame before you let go of each other. "where were you headed to so eagerly?"

"it's wanda's breakfast day, thor! i haven't had a decent breakfast all week because no one in this tower except wanda can cook to save their lives. come on, big guy!" you cheered, trying to get onto his back for him to give you a piggy back to the kitchen but he was too high for you to reach. he watched your attempt in amusement before bending down so you could get on his back. you gratefully got on, lightly patting his back and dramatically pointing ahead of you. "to the kitchen we go!"

when you two arrived in the kitchen, clint and wanda were talking as the latter made breakfast. thor's booming laughter echoed through the room as he zoomed with you on his back, laughing your heart out. "we have arrived to our destination, my lady." clint and wanda turned to you, adoring smiles on their faces when they heard you giggling uncontrollably.

"i thought you had more important things to do that you couldn't even walk 10 feet to grab me a spoon." clint raised his eyebrows at the demigod. "yes but y/n needed a ride so i provided her one." thor gave your hair a ruffle before he left the room, going to do what he initially left the kitchen for before you managed to get him to bring you back there.

"morning, kiddo." clint ruffled your hair right after you just fixed it, causing you to glare at him before fixing it again. "morning," you grumbled, sitting down next to him.

"morning, y/n!" wanda greeted, placing your plate of perfectly made blueberry pancakes with extra blueberries neatly placed on top, butter in the middle of it with maple syrup dripping down. your mouth watered. had it really been that long since you had a good breakfast or was it just because it was wanda's creation? or was it both? "here ya go, bubs. your favourite," she grinned at you, placing your glass of orange juice beside the plate.

"thanks, wands! i love you!" you thanked her, already beginning to dig into your breakfast.

"what the heck? you gave me burnt pancakes and didn't let me have extra blueberries because you said there already were some in the pancakes," clint whined to wanda from beside you, watching you eat happily.

"that's because the extra blueberries were for y/n, she loves them. and about the burnt pancakes...yea i just didn't want to give her burnt ones. look how happy she looks," the two turned to you, looking at your cheeks being filled up, making you look like an adorable squirrel.

"okay, fair point." clint slumped down on his chair, continuing to look at you fondly, like a proud father.

-

after breakfast, you made your way down to the training room where steve, nat and peter were training. when you entered, peter immediately noticed, waving and you from the treadmill with a huge smile on his face. nat, having just flipped steve over her her shoulders, smiled at you. "hey, bub." you smiled back at her and steve who struggled to give you a wave but did it anyways from his position.

"alright, y/n, you can warm up and run 2 miles first before we start." steve says once he had gotten up from his position on the ground. you mocked a salute before walking to the treadmills.

"what?! how is that fair? i'm running 5 miles!" peter exclaimed from beside you just as you started your run. "you're enhanced, peter. if anything, it's unfair for y/n/n. actually, that's right, it is unfair for her. y/n/n, you can go ahead and just do a mile."

peter's jaw dropped at this, his mouth opening and closing like fish out of water. "b–but.."

"get back to work, peter. once you're done, we'll start both your and y/n's training." the boy only huffed in annoyance, focusing back on his run while you smirked, internally cheering in victory.

-

"boy, that was tiring!" you dramatically plopped back onto the mat, limbs spread out as you tried to catch your breath. it had been a gruesome 3 hours of training and you were beat.

"y/n/n, get up. sam, bucky and clint's gotta train soon," nat tells you after steve and peter left and you were still sprawled out on the ground. "but i'm tired!" you whined childishly.

"y/n, if you don't get up, i'm gonna leave you here to be trampled on by the boys when they train." nat nagged, hands on her hips as she made a disapproving face at you.

"no you're not. you're gonna carry me to my room so i can shower and sleep soon." you tell her, eyes already closed as the fatigue washed over you. after a few seconds of silence, you heard her sigh out loud before you felt her crouching down beside you.

"get on my back in five seconds or i'll leave you." she threatened. you quickly opened your eyes, grabbing your small towel and water bottle before getting on nat's back. she mumbled something about you being lucky that she loves you or else she really was going to let sam, bucky and clint trample on you.

"what's wrong with her?" you could hear steve's concerned voice asking nat when you two reached—you assumed— the lobby. you were too tired to keep your eyes open so you left them closed while your arms were around nat's neck.

"nothing," you heard nat reply as she walked you both into the elevator. "kid's just too lazy to get up and walk on her own so she made me carry her." you internally rolled your eyes. she made it seem like she was forced to do it when everyone clearly knew she would do anything when it came to you.

you heard steve chuckle before nat started walking again, probably towards your room. you heard the door open and nat finally let you down, prompting you to open your eyes.

"do you want some food after you shower?" she questioned as you looked through your closet for comfy clothes to change to before ultimately deciding on cow print pyjama pants and an oversized tee you stole from steve.

"i'm good, nat, thanks. i just wanna take a nap." as if on cue, you yawned right after. "okay, bub. you'll have to get up later for dinner and movie night though, okay?" she reminded and left the room after you replied an 'okay' back.

-

when you were woken up a few hours later, it was by an annoying scream and a body bouncing on your bed. "y/n/n, wake up! it's dinner! mr stark ordered your favourite!"

you groaned, putting your pillow over your head to block out peter's annoying voice. "come on, y/n/n wake up! you haven't eaten since breakfast and it's movie night tonight!"

"okay, okay, i'm up. you can shut up now, pete." you grumbled crankily. it was quiet for a few seconds before peter yelled out once again. "wake u–"

he never got to finish though because you kicked him off the bed. "i said i'm up, dude." you then sat up, stretching before getting up to wash up, ignoring peter who was on the floor rubbing the side of his head which hit your lamp when he fell off your bed. he then got up, deciding to tidy your bed up a bit while he waited for you to finish washing up so that you two could go down together.

-

"is that my shirt?" was the first thing you heard when you walked in with peter. the team were all sitting, eating your food from your favourite place. "i uh, maybe?" you answered sheepishly, sitting down next to sam and peter settling down on your other side. "i've been looking for that shirt since forever."

"aw, let her have it, steve! she looks better in it than you do, she looks so adorable!" wanda screeched, absolutely adoring how tiny you looked in cap's enormous shirt. she continued to gush over you, even taking out her phone at one point to snap a picture of you. you chuckled at her antics, proceeding to eat your dinner while the team talked.

after dinner, everyone slowly made their way to the common room for team movie night. you guys collectively agreed to watch 'white chicks' after steve revealed that he hadn't watched it.

you sat down next to bruce, who gave you a tired smile when you smiled at him. he must've been working in the lab all day, you thought. halfway through the movie though, a bathroom break was called by tony. a few took the chance to get up and get snacks while you told bruce you were gonna sit closer to the tv since you couldn't hear properly with sam and bucky squabbling over every little thing they could. you could even hear them arguing in the kitchen at the moment over hot chocolate.

when tony came back, you told the two bickering children in the kitchen that you were starting the movie again. not long after you started, you could hear them still bickering, except now they were closer, probably back in their seats. poor bruce, you thought. you escaped the two but he was still stuck next to them.

meanwhile in the back, sam and bucky were still busy fighting over the hot chocolate. you paid them no mind as you focused on the movie, having not watched it in a hot minute.

"dude, i made this for myself! go make your own hot chocolate!" bucky whisper-yelled, moving his mug away from sam's reach when the latter tried to reach for it. "you took my snack now i'm gonna take your drink so it's fair!" sam countered.

before the two of them could stop it, the steaming hot chocolate spilt. not on the carpet, but onto the doctor whose patience had already been running thin with the two quarrelling next to him for the past hour.

his face slowly turned green, clearly a sign that he was fighting so that the other guy didn't come out. the team stared in horror, preparing for a fight to break out with the big green monster.

you, being the closest to the tv, didn't notice this all happening as you happily watched the movie that you couldn't hear properly for the past hour.

you laughed joyously when your favourite scene came on, trying to control your giggles that were starting to get louder and louder. bruce was currently hunched down, trying to even his breathing. but when he heard your laughter, he immediately looked up at you.

the team panicked, thinking that you could be a target for hulk since you just attracted attention to yourself. they were about to get up to protect you as they looked at bruce apprehensively, when the doctor smiled, the green on his neck slowly, but surely disappearing.

the team looked at each other in confusion and bruce smiled weakly at them. "sorry about that. i'm...i'm gonna move up and sit with y/n." he got up and made his way to you. you smiled when you saw him. "got tired of them too?" you joked and he nodded, making himself comfortable next to you.

you nodded and turned your attention back to the tv. it was clear you were oblivious to whatever just happened and the team couldn't help but chuckle at the situation. you really just unknowingly calmed down the hulk.

the team didn't know if you were aware of how much power you actually held over them. nevertheless, you were their little baby and they were willing to do anything for you.

[miekasa]

NICE.

+ pairings: eren yeager + (fem) reader

+ genres: rich kid au, college au, friends to lovers au, fluff, light-ish angst, smut/nsfw content (everybody gets a piece)!

+ warnings: mentions of depression/anxiety, mentions and use of drugs and alcohol, some of the smut happens under the influence so be cautious if that’s something you don’t like, i swear this is all more idiots in love than angst tho i just wanna disclose everything fairly

+ notes: this is alternatively titled super rich kids and you can probably figure out why. some of this is based off of real life, some of it is straight out of gossip girl and i challenge you to separate the facts from the fiction :’) anyways, i hope we all remember the lyrics to in my feelings

+ more notes: one quick reference for ages in this fic—all the vets are older but not by that much, think various stages of grad school. armin, connie, sasha, annie, and bertholdt are all college sophomores. eren, the reader, and pretty much everybody else are college seniors, so they’re about a year or two older. also here is a playlist for your reading pleasures, shoutout to ryn for letting me mooch of their spotify account :’)

+ word count: 19k. i’m sorry.

+ summary: fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you.; or the story of notorious rich kid and self-proclaimed bad boy eren yeager, and his not so goody two-shoes best friend.

“So you’re saying that you don’t love me? That you’re not riding? That you’ll actually leave from beside me?”

“I’m saying that it’s ass o’clock in the morning and I’m not driving in the rain to Brooklyn to pick your sorry ass up.”

“But… but I want you, and I need you, and I’m down for you.”

You check the time on your phone screen and groan. 3:57am. Far too early to be dealing with the likes of Eren Jaeger. “Just get an Uber or something. I don’t know what you and your idiot friends were up to this time, but I don’t want any part of it.”

“First, they’re our idiot friends. Second, I don’t think they let you take Ubers from jail, and even if they did, it’s, like, four in the morning, so I don’t think there are any Ubers driving around, so could you pretty please come pick me up? I promise I’ll make it up to—”

“From where?” you cut him off, slowly sitting upright in your bed. You hold your phone closer to your ear, ready to listen again; because, certainly, you must have misheard him the first time. You wait, but the line is silent, save for Eren’s awkward chuckling. “Eren Asher Jaeger, tell me that that was another stupid lyric from that stupid song, and that you are not in prison right now.”

Eren makes a sad attempt at laughing. “Technically, it’s a holding cell, not really prison… and I would leave, but they suspended my license for a month, and Min can’t drive yet, so we kind of need you,” he explains, “Uh, no pun intended.”

“Min?” you pull your eyebrows together at the mention of the younger’s name, “Is Armin with you?”

“Uh, yeah.”

With a frown and a heavy sigh, you push yourself out of bed, wedging your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you grab the nearest pair of sweatpants.

“Why did you get him caught up in whatever stupid shit you were doing tonight?” you complain, scanning your dark bedroom for a shirt to wear, “Erwin’s going to castrate you when he finds out.”

You curse as you stub your toe against the edge of your bed on your way out of the room. Given the time, weather, and the fact that you have several exams to start studying for, hanging up and leaving Eren in the middle of god knows where Brooklyn doesn’t seem like such a bad idea, but you couldn’t go back to sleep knowing that Armin would have to suffer with him.

“Relax,” Eren breathes in a tone all too nonchalant for the situation at hand, “He didn’t get charged with anything, and nothing’s going on his record.”

“You don’t know that,” you retort, sliding your raincoat over your free arm, as you paddle down the stairs of your apartment, “The NYPD suck.”

“True,” he hums, “But I paid off the cop, so it’ll be fine.”

You pause in your steps, but really, you shouldn’t be surprised. “Of course you did,” you mumble, moving again and grabbing your car keys off of the kitchen island.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he questions. His tone is actually genuine and it tempts you to roll your eyes.

“What it always means, Eren,” you sigh, stepping into the elevator, “I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”

“Thank you, baby. I love you.”

“Eren?”

“Yeah?”

“Get off my line.”

He doesn’t have time to throw in another pitiful “I love you” before the line goes dead and he’s met with static silence. He hangs up the station telephone with a silent chuckle, turning around to face Armin and Officer Hannes.

“Someone’s coming to pick us up,” he says, trying to focus on Armin’s sigh of relief and not the warmth creeping up his neck and into his cheeks, “I’ll, uh, call a tow for the car in the morning.”

The cop, too tired to care, only shrugs, and pays them no further attention. He hands Eren a plastic bag with his car keys and newly suspended license, escorts him back into the cell, and returns to his desk. Eren gives Hannes the finger while his back is turned.

Beside him, Armin is still quivering; bouncing his leg up and down, fiddling with his fingers, gnawing on his bottom lip. Eren frowns, a heavy wave of guilt washing over him as he takes in the younger’s anxiety ridden state. It wasn’t fair that Armin could have potentially suffered legal consequences because of his stupidity.

Eren’s lucky that Hannes was sleazy enough to accept his bribe and let him off with minimal punishment. With that they were doing, things could have ended up far worse for the both of them tonight.

“I’m sorry, man,” he apologizes, hands stuffed in his front pockets, “About tonight, I mean. We—I shouldn’t have done that, not with you there.”

Armin looks up at him with sparkling, doe eyes and Eren wants to punch himself in the gut for making him go through all of this, even if it didn’t amount to an actual arrest. “You couldn’t have known this was going to happen.”

“I could have prevented it,” he says. Because it’s what you would have said, too.

“It’s not your fault, I wanted to come, remember?” Armin tells him, redirecting his gaze to the grey floor of the precinct cell. He takes a deep breath, almost calming down completely when a sudden thought reignites his nervous ticks, “You… they’re not gonna tell my parents, right?”

“No, no—of course not.”

Armin was legally an adult; he, nor Eren, nor the police had to tell his parents anything. Sure, Hannes could rat them out, but honestly that sounded like way more work than he was cut out for; not to mention he’d be bound to reveal that he let them off easy for a couple thousand bucks.

Armin nods, “And… that wasn’t Erwin on the phone, right?”

“Are you kidding me? He’d murder me on the spot,” Eren says. He pauses before tacking on, “I, uh… I called (_____).”

“Oh,” the younger gapes, “She’ll kill you, too.”

“Yeah,” Eren sighs, scratching the back of his neck in nervous anticipation, “Trust me, I know.”

“You have your access card on you, right, Armin?” you ask. He nods sheepishly, hand on the car door handle.

“Thanks again for coming to get us,” he says meekly, “I’m sorry about waking you up and everything.”

You offer him a warm smile through the rear view mirror, “Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re safe. Text me when you get up tomorrow, okay? We can get brunch, my treat.”

His face lights up at the prospect of free food, and he nods once more, enthusiastically, but his expression falls again when he speaks, “Okay, and I’ll, um, pay you back for the tickets and stuff as soon as I can—”

“It’s fine, really, don’t worry about it,” you repeat.

“It was almost three thou—”

“You forget who you’re friends with,” you cut him off with a smile, “Don’t worry about it, okay? It wasn’t your fault.”

Armin’s eyes dart to Eren quickly, before clearing his throat, a light pink tint to his cheeks. You know that the prospect of money can be a sensitive subject for Armin, one easily triggered by his very environment, but this wasn’t negotiable on your end. You know that Armin doesn’t like the feeling of owing anyone anything, but he knows he won’t get you to budge; so, he quietly nods, appreciative of your generosity, before bidding you and Eren a final goodnight and sprinting towards the dorm. Once you see that he’s safely inside, you wave one last time, and wait for the door to shut behind him.

Slowly, Eren turns to the driver’s seat to look at you. You were eerily calm when you came to pick him and Armin up from the station. You didn’t yell, cuss, or punch him in the face like he expected. You politely talked to the officer, thanked him for his service, paid their fees, and up until now, you’ve shown no signs of being angry with him at all.

The two of you drive back to your shared apartment in complete silence, Eren too confused, and borderline scared, of initiating a conversation. He wonders if you’re too tired, or if you really don’t give a damn anymore, but when you pull into the underground lot of your building and put the car in park, he finds out the silence was simply the calm before the storm.

You take your hand off of the gear shift and turn towards him. It’s a quiet stare down for nearly a full minute before you break the mime act with a slap to his thigh.

“Drag racing? Are you out of your fucking mind? Of all the stupid shit you’ve done—and you’ve done a lot of stupid shit—this has got to take the cake. Just what the actual fuck were you thinking?”

“Ouch!” he inhales sharply, rubbing over where you’d hit him, “We were just having fun! Then these other guys showed up and started talking shit so—”

“Having fun?” you echo, “You couldn’t think of anything fun to do that’s not illegal in every borough of New York City?”

Eren feels his cheek flush, but he only huffs with the illusion of disinterest, “I don’t know why you’re freaking out so bad. I’m a good driver, it was those other squids that got us into shit, I’m telling you. They showed up looking for a fight, then ran like a bunch of pussies when the cops came.”

You exhale slowly, shaking your head in disbelief. You seem to have no other words to say to him, choosing to step out of the car and slam the door behind you. Eren quickly follows, slamming his door equally as hard, and hot on your trail as you march towards the elevator.

“(_____), come on, enough with the silent treatment,” he whines when you stick yourself in a corner of the elevator after pushing the button to the penthouse, “I told you I didn’t start shit, Armin and I got ratted on.”

“I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about whether or not they started it, Eren. You’re still the problem here.”

“Me? How am I the problem?” he pulls back, eyebrows drawn together in genuine confusion, “I just told you I didn’t do shit.”

You scoff, crossing your arms and shifting your left leg, “I’m not doing this with you right now.”

“Doing what with me?” he presses, tone growing icy.

“This, Eren!” you reiterate, “I’m too tired to hear your bullshit right now.”

The elevator dings and opens into your apartment. You push past him, continuing your deliberate strides through the living area, and to the stairs, but Eren catches you with a hand on your wrist before you can go any further.

“Will you fucking stop that,” he growls, “If you’ve got something to say, then stop running away from me, and just say it.”

“Funny,” you sneer, pulling your wrist away from him and settling both your feet on the bottom step, “You’re one to talk about running away from things.”

He takes a step back, standing just a notch below you, perfectly frozen in place. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means your little drag racing episode was not only dangerous and immature, it was you running away from your problems like a spoiled child, yet again.”

Eren’s features narrow at your accusations; eyes fading into hooded slits, lips curving downwards, and voice bobbing low, “I’m not running away from anything.”

“Oh, please, Eren,” you roll your eyes, arms retreating to their crossed position in front of your chest, “Cut the bullshit.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” But he bets that even in the dim lighting of the apartment, you can see the tips of his ears growing red, just like they always do when he’s lying.

“Oh, really?” you ask, eyes widening in mock surprise, “You don’t think I don’t know this whole thing has something to do with the fact that your mom came home on Friday?”

Another pause. “Who told you that?” He asks, but it comes out more like a statement.

“Nobody had to,” you snap, “Jean said he caught you with a sack of coke over the weekend, and I knew something was up.”

“It wasn’t mine, I was—”

“I said cut the shit, Eren. If I went up into your room right now I bet your ass I’d find more than enough of it in a shoebox somewhere.”

He retreats, almost bashful, but unapologetic all the same. “Fine, whatever, I did a few lines. Big deal.”

“The big deal is that you think this is fucking normal, and now you’ve upgraded from coke to getting yourself arrested! It’d be one thing if you were acting like a misfit on your own, but to drag Armin into it because you—”

“Drag him into it?” he echoes with the snare of sarcasm dripping from each syllable, “You talk about Armin like he’s six. I don’t know why you think he’s some helpless little baby, but you have no goddamn responsibility over him. He’s not your fucking charity case.”

“I never fucking said he’s my charity case—don’t you ever fucking say that,” you say, “Having some basic respect and concern for my friends isn’t charity.”

“Wake the fuck up! You baby Armin when he’s a grown ass man. I didn’t force him into the fucking car to get sympathy points from you.”

“Grown? Armin is barely nineteen, disowned by his parents, is on a full fucking ride to an insanely expensive university, and you got him arrested tonight! Do you know what could happen if NYU found out? They could fucking kick him out, take his scholarship away—and then what, huh? Or were you just gonna buy off the headmaster, too?”

“You’re acting like I fucking planned for it!”

He’s screaming now, voice bellowing throughout the apartment, face red—and he doesn’t mean to, he doesn’t mean it at all; but it’s late, and he’s tired, and those shouldn’t be excuses, but he’s too prideful to back down.

“Of course you didn’t! You didn’t plan for anything, you were just being a reckless, irresponsible asshole like always,” you tell him, too blind-sighted by anger and the need to chide him that you miss the teary undertones in his words.

“And what’s it matter to you?”

“It fucking matters to me when you call at some godforsaken hour asking me to pick you up from prison!”

He takes a step forward, right leg elevated by the same step that both your feet rest on. “Well, what else am I supposed to fucking do!” He shouts even though he’s mere inches from your face, “Tell me just what the fuck I’m supposed to do instead!”

“You’re supposed to act like an adult and fucking talk to someone!”

“Who the hell am I supposed to talk to, huh?” he presses, taking a step forward and forcing you to retreat backwards, and up a step, “My mother who’s never home or her bastard boyfriend?”—another step forward for him, another step backwards for you—“The step-brother I can’t get in contact with?”—one step forward; one step backwards—“Or maybe the dad I never had, right?”

“Me, Eren!” you yell back with equal vigor, throwing your hands up at your sides, and planting your feet firmly. “Armin, Mikasa, Jean—anyone! You have people who fucking care about you! Stop treating us like correction officers, we’re your fucking friends!”

There’s silence for a while, just you and Eren staring at each other, heavy breathing, waiting for the other to make the next move. He opens his mouth, but when he tries to speak, his resolve washes away, his throat tightens and the words get sucked back in.

It would be easy to keep yelling, screaming, blaming you for blowing up on him. He used to think the scolding he got from you after pulling some stupid stunt was the worst part; but now, he thinks it might be his favorite part. He hates to hear you scream, and it hurts to see you cry, but if you’re yelling, you’re angry that he hurt himself; you care that he’s okay.

“I—” he stutters, words quiet and broken, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to get like this tonight, it was an accident I—”

“You never mean for any of it to happen, yet it always does,” you interrupt, voice soft yet strained, “I know you have your own shit to deal with, but so does everybody else.”

“(_____), please, you’re right, okay? I should have said something before,” he admits, mouth small as he voices his confessions, “I should have talked to you or one of the boys, but I—I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

He’s groveling now. Mouth in pout, eyes wide, voice small, and honestly, he thinks he might cry. At this point he doesn’t care if he does.

“I want you to mean it,” you finally say, and when he looks up, he hates the look he sees in your eyes. It’s something between sad and hurt and empty and it’s awful. Someone like you shouldn’t feel that way. He shouldn’t make you feel that way.

“I—”

“When you’re ready to tell me exactly what’s going on with you—what’s happening that made you think going to jail would be better than facing your issues—I’ll be here to talk,” you continue, eyes watering, “But until then, goodnight, Eren.”

Eren winces when you turn around and ascend up the remaining stairs. He flirts with the idea of following you, going to your room to finish talking, but you’re probably angry enough to have it locked. His room is up there, too, but he opts for part of the sectional, laying down with the palms of his hands kneading against his closed eyelids.

For as long as he can remember, you’ve been there for him. Your friendship, at times, was like a game of tag—Eren always on the run with you loyally chasing after him; he’d always run amuck, and you’d always be there to catch him in the act. Now, it’s five in the morning, there’s no more yelling, no more chasing, no more racing, but he’s still running.

The following morning, you take Armin out to brunch, as promised. Jean tags along too, something about hanging out with the two of you being infinitely more entertaining than his genetics lecture. It doesn’t seem like Jean knows anything about Armin and Eren’s late night antics, so you don’t bring it up yourself.

Oblivious, Jean chats your ears off as if nothing is awry. Whether he knows it or not, he does a great job of distracting Armin from his own thoughts. They both eat to their heart’s content when you remind them you’ll foot the bill; and you don’t bat an eye when Jean convinces Armin to order his third round of pancakes. He deserves it.

Afterwards, Jean convinces the three of you to go window shopping with him in SoHo, claiming that he needed inspiration for his latest fashion assignment (you don’t question why he’s taking a fashion class as a biology major, but you suspect it has something to do with Mikasa). Window shopping soon turns into actual shopping, so almost completely unprompted, and with little effort on his part, Armin gets a few pieces of clothing on your behalf, while you try to ignore Eren’s words itching at the back of your mind.

Armin’s not a baby, but he certainly is a kid with a rough past and rough relationship with his parents at a time in his life where he arguably needs them the most. A little extra support from his friends wouldn’t harm him.

It’s nearing six when the three of you are wedged in a small booth inside a café, indulging in overpriced hot chocolate. Three sips into his second cup, Jean excuses himself to the bathroom, leaving you sitting across from Armin.

“You know, you don’t have to keep buying me stuff to make up for Eren,” Armin says, a small smile playing on his lips.

“I’m not trying to make up for him,” you sputter, careful not to spill your drink over your lap, “You had a rough night. Just accept my gifts, don’t be a brat.”

“I do accept them. Erwin’s been eyeing that Off White sweater for, like, three weeks now. He’s gonna have a hissy fit when he sees me wearing it.” You chuckle, and he continues, “But you know, as much I love spending time with you, you can’t use me to avoid Eren forever.”

“I’m not avoiding him,” you frown.

“You said you were going to take us to brunch, and then spent the whole day with us.”

“Funny, I recall you saying something about how much you love my company about thirty seconds ago.”

“He’s called you at least ten times today.”

“I was spending the day with my favorite NYU student… and Jean,” you bat your lashes, “I see you maybe once a week. I live with Eren, I have to see him every day.”

Armin calls your name with a pout, “He’s sorry, you know.”

“Not sorry enough,” you mumble. Armin opens his mouth to say something again, but then Jean’s sliding back into the booth, chatting about how he’s finally come up with the perfect anniversary date for Mikasa.

Armin doesn’t notice your sigh of relief, but he does take note of the way you wipe away your notifications when a text rings through. If Eren could spend his days running away from his problems, then you could, too.

Despite being arguably the greediest of you all, Jean loves company, so he doesn’t hesitate to say yes when you ask to crash at his place after your shopping escapades. You expect to be welcomed with sounds of screaming, laughter, and loud music, but to your surprise his apartment is completely silent upon your entering.

“Bertholdt has class and Marco has a meeting,” he prompts, as if he could read your thoughts. He shimmies his coat off his shoulders and tosses it over the bar in the foyer.

Their apartment has the same amount of rooms as yours and Eren’s, but is all stretched along a single floor. It’s more of a maze, really, with intricate turns, and hallways, that all more or less open up into the expanse of the foyer and bar. Their living room is your favorite part. A dark, brown leather sectional wraps around the back three walls and an oversized flatscreen encased in an ebony frame takes center stage. A collection of vinyl records litters the walls above the couch; each of the boys contributing their favorite discs as décor.

“If he has class, shouldn’t you have class?” you question, fingers dragging over the ridges of the closest record.

“I’ve had class all day, but that doesn’t mean I go,” Jean shrugs, walking up behind you and taking your jacket off your shoulders and your bag from your hand, “Besides, Bertholdt will probably cut half-way to go see Reiner, if he can even stay awake that long. Going with him is just as productive as staying home.”

“You’re all a mess,” you scoff, turning around as a cheesy grin grows on Jean’s lips. His smile is infectious, and soon you catch yourself grinning just because.

“You want something to drink?” he offers, throwing your coat over his elbow and tilting his head in the direction of the bar.

“You’re bad at mixing drinks,” you remind him, but follow him anyway.  

Jean laughs, not bothering to deny the jab. He doesn’t try his hand at anything mixed or complicated this time; simply offering you a glass of your favorite red, and pouring himself a smaller amount.

He puts the album you were gawking at earlier on the record player, the two of you sinking into the couch as lovely melodies radiate throughout the apartment.

He spends the first hour bitching about how Marco’s supposed to become a CEO in less than a year, yet has the attention span of a squirrel; but the playful lilt in the brunette’s voice, and the begrudging smile on his face lets you know that it’s all love. He gushes about Mikasa for a good half hour, cramming you with stories about his girlfriend’s talent for sewing and fashion. You also learn that Bertholdt’s been busier than usual these days, and Jean suspects it has something to do with a secret lover.

You pinch your eyebrows at his hunch. Bertholdt’s never been one for dating. He’s had many friends with benefits in the past, but they weren’t relationships, nor were they secrets. In fact, you don’t think that he could keep a secret to save his life.

“Why would he be hiding it if he were seeing someone?” you question, swirling your newly refilled glass.

“Dunno,” Jean shrugs, “But it’s sus, I’m telling you. He’s been oddly busy for someone with a 2.3 GPA. Either way, I’ll pry it out of him eventually.”

“You’re so fucking nosey,” you chuckle, watching the mischievous, satisfied grin settle onto his features.

“I kinda think it’s Armin,” Jean says after a while, downing the remaining wine in his cup, while you choke on your own drink.

“Why on Earth do you think if Bertholdt had a secret lover that it’d be Armin?”

“Because he was in love with him for, like, two years in high school,” Jean says, as if the information should be painfully obvious.

“Yeah, and Bert also hooked up with a million different people in high school.”

“That doesn’t mean he wasn’t still in love with Armin.”

“I don’t think Armin’s kissed another human, let alone is in a secret relationship with one.”

“Hm, true. I forget he’s still a virgin.”

“Hey—there’s nothing wrong with Armin being a virgin, leave him be.”

“I know there’s nothing wrong with it,” Jean whines, “But it’s so—he doesn’t have to be. Armin’s cute! And very attractive—dare I even say sexy. He could go outside and get laid right now if he just tried.”

“Stay humble, Jean boy. If I remember correctly, you only started breaking hearts a year ago,” you tut. Jean’s nose goes pink as he shoves you away when you continue, “But, if you’re so concerned with Armin’s virginity, why don’t you go help him out with it.”

“Actually, if I remember correctly, I think that’s more your gig,” he shoots back, a smug smile tugging on his lips. “Not to mention, I’m not trying to get beat up by Annie. Though, I wonder how much longer it’ll take before she finally snaps. Hey, maybe the both of you can tag team him, I’m sure Annie wouldn’t mind, and it might even make Armin less nervous to have you—”

It’s your turn to shove him now, throwing in an extra punch when his head bobs back with laughter. You’re very certain Annie would mind; you would mind if someone inserted themself in your kind of, sort of, not really relationship, and ruined your four years of pining.

“Speaking of lovers,” Jean prompts, once his laughter dies down, bending his knee and turning closer to you. “Why are you and lover boy fighting? Trouble in paradise?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you hum, sipping your drink in between words. Jean’s eyes pinch together. “Marco and I would never fight.”

“My god, will you let your Marco fantasies go already? You’ve already caused him one sexuality crisis,” Jean groans, “You know I mean Eren.”

You sigh, lowering your glass and reaching forward to pinch his cheek. “It’s nothing you have to worry your pretty little head over.”

“Please,” he scoffs, flicking your offending hand back, “He’s been texting us nonstop since this morning at, like, nine. I didn’t even know he was capable of waking up before noon.”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes, but Jean continues, “Why he would ask us for advice on you is beyond me. He knows you better than all of us combined.”

“And why you’re saying all of this is beyond me.”

“Oh, come on, what’d he do,” Jean pushes, borderline whines, as he puts his empty glass down in a cup holder embedded in the couch. He’s always been the most prone to gossip, but you forget that wine makes him even more of a nosey prick. “Must have been pretty bad. Or stupid.”

“Try both,” you mumble, “Well—I don’t know, it wasn’t… the worst thing anyone could do, but it was really fucking reckless—and why he did it, I couldn’t even tell you. I don’t know what goes through his mind half the time, but I swear he must have been on crack last night.”

“He probably was. On crack, I mean. I told you, I took an ounce from him over the weekend, but that was after Eren and Ymir did, like, five lines.”

“Do they really do that regularly?” you nearly cry, a hand massaging your temple, “Fucking Christ, if he really was high while driving, I’ll kill him myself.”

“Well, I don’t know if regular is the right word,” Jean ponders, “Maybe for Ymir, but god knows what she’s on half the time, anyways. Besides, coke isn’t the worst thing they could do.”

“You sound like you speak from personal experience.”

“Maybe,” he shrugs, pausing when you shoot him a disapproving look, “Oh, come on! You’re no angel, either—if memory serves, you were high as shit at Moblit’s birthday party, and kept singing the star spangled banner all night.”

“Yeah, on weed! One time! It was on a rooftop and the stars were out and it has the same rhythm as the happy birthday song, cut me some slack!”

He finds laughing at your expense to be much more fun, however, as he continues to chuckle while you throw a fit. He’s also not one to let a topic of gossip go undiscussed, and has no problem bringing the conversation back to Eren.

“It’s because you two don’t talk, you know,” Jean tuts, “That’s why you fight like this.”

For the second time, the younger’s words have your eyebrows growing close together. “I mean, I guess—but it’s more than that. Eren and I live together, we obviously talk, but—”

“I know, I know, but just hear me out, okay? You and Eren talk about a lot of things, yeah, but you also… don’t. And sometimes you don’t have to, because you guys, like… get each other.”

“Wow. What a way with words you have, Jean Kirstein. You should write a self-help book.”

“What I mean,” he sneers, unhappy with the sarcasm being thrown his way, “Is that you guys understand each other in weird ways. It’s actually kind of cute—sometimes a little freaky, in all honesty. It’s why you don’t always have to talk about serious things. But you take it for granted and let shit bottle up, and then get in denial about it until you blow up in each other’s faces.”

“Please, you barely passed one philosophy class and now you think you’re Plato.”

“You’re doing the in denial thing right now!” he taunts, “Come one, when you two fight like this, what’s it usually about?”

You sigh, sinking back into the plush leather of the couch, and wrapping your hands around a fluffy throw pillow. Thinking about arguing with Eren isn’t particularly something you like to do, and truthfully, you don’t really get pissed at each other that often. Not to the point of ignoring each other, at least.

“I don’t know,” you drawl, “Drugs, me forgetting things, him doing stupid shit, him thinking Mikasa could do better than you, school, drinking, the fact that he leaves his big ass shoes at the top of the stairs for me to trip over and fall to my death every morning, when—”

“His parents?” Jean cuts you off.

“I—we don’t really… it’s not so much fighting over his parents, it’s all the stuff he does to deal with his parents. He never gives his mom’s boyfriends a chance, and he never really talks about why, either. I know he’s secretly just angry and insecure about his dad, but… I don’t know. That doesn’t really make it better.”

“True,” he nods, “See—he doesn’t talk about it.”

“I know, and I told him that last night, too, but… it’s a sensitive subject for him—his dad, I mean,” you sigh, “And you’re right, he shouldn’t bottle his feelings up, but, on the other hand he’s watched his mom get married five times. I don’t always blame him for not wanting to talk about it.”

“Yeah, but just because it’s hard to talk about doesn’t mean he shouldn’t,” Jean lolls, “Wouldn’t you have rather he said something than have done whatever stupid shit he did to make you want to sleep here tonight?”

“Okay, Socrates, I get it,” you lighten up, “I’ll talk to him—or get him to talk to me. Are you happy?”

“Quite,” he says, annoyingly chipper as he rises from the couch. “I hate seeing my favorite power couple fighting.”

Jean knows his words would elicit a slap to his arm, so he takes off just before you can reach him, prompting you to chase him out of the living room and down the hall. The brunette cackles ridiculously loudly as you scream his name with profanities sprinkled in-between. You catch a hold of the bottom of his shirt and pull him back, finally flicking him on the forehead.

He accepts his punishment with pride, offering you a signature smile in return while you both catch your breaths. It’s a sweet moment, the two of you looking at each other with stupid smiles on your face, exhalations tickling your cheeks.

Jean’s eyes break the gaze first, as he looks down the remainder of your face, and back up to your eyes again. His words could get caught in his throat, but he doesn’t let them—he shakes his head, and swiftly turns around, beckoning for you to follow him.

“Come on, we can steal Marco’s clothes for your pajamas this time.”

Jean spends all of three minutes pulling apart Marco’s dresser before swiping a t-shirt and Christmas themed pajama bottoms from his room. He tosses them in your direction before leading you back down the hall and to the left, opening the door to the guest bedroom for you, before leaving you to change.

They have more than one guest bedroom, but this one is unofficially yours. Little pieces of you can be found littered throughout the room, from spare jewelry to mismatched makeup. You spot a single, gold, teardrop shaped earring on the vanity and sigh as you run your fingers over it.

You swear you’d lost it a few months ago. Trust Jean to put it away for safekeeping without telling you he’d found it. The boy in question returns moments later, knocking while walking through the door with your purse in hand.

“How’d you know I was about to ask you to get that?” you question, a smile on your face as you retrieve the small bag from his hands.

Jean offers you a cocky grin, “Cause I’m the best.”

“Don’t go getting a big head, now,” you tease, “Or, well, an even bigger head.”

Jean ignores your insult, as you take a seat at the edge of the bed, fishing through your bag for your phone to plug it in for the night. He’s about to turn around and bid you goodnight, when the flash of something orange peeping out of your purse prompts his next thought.

“Hey, you picked up your refill, right?” he asks innocently, “It should have been ready last Thursday.”

You sigh, head falling slightly when you close your bag and place it on the vanity. “Uh… no.”

Jean’s mouth is already open, ready with equally friendly and scolding words, but you cut him off before he can talk. “I was going to on Thursday, but I had class late, and then I forgot on Friday and I haven’t really had time since then. But I have a few left-overs from the last two months, so I’ve been taking those!”

Jean’s mouth closes, but his eyes narrow as he begins to walk towards you. You know he’s putting two and two together, so you speak ahead of him again.

“I know, I know, I shouldn’t have any left over, but it’s only five, I promise! I’ve been really good, lately.”

Jean’s eyes remain in concentrated slits, but his resolve is waning when he reads over your expression. His facade fades as he takes the final steps towards you to stand directly in front of your body.

“Okay,” he says, voice soft through his smile, “I’ll go with you to pick them up tomorrow before I drop you home, yeah?”

It elates him more than it should to see the smile you flash his way. Unfortunately, it’s short-lived, as his next question leaves your face twisted with guilt.

“Have you… told Eren yet?”

You consider lying and saying yes, but something tells you Jean won’t buy it. Your silence seems to speak loud enough, as his shoulders drop with a quiet sigh.

“I want to, I just… well I’m mad at him right now, and even when I’m not… I don’t know why it’s so hard,” you confess.

“He’d wanna know, you know,” Jean says, and it’s not the first time he’s said it to you, either. “You know he wouldn’t judge you or anything.”

“I know that. But, truthfully, if I had things my way, not even you would know, Jean.”

It was an accident that Jean found out that you’d been taking anxiety medication.

It was at somebody’s house party where the majority of your friends and their guests had gotten piss drunk. Reiner’s date had suggested mixing their alcohol with molly she’d supposedly had in her bag. In her drunken stupor, she’d mistaken your purse for her own, but luckily, a not so drunk Jean had noticed the label didn’t match her name, and snagged the bottle before the worst could happen.

They ended up not finding her molly, anyway, but it’s a moot point. Jean had cornered you about the bottle later in the week with honest intentions; he’d been concerned that might be another kind of drug disguised by a prescription veil. However, you’d assured him that it was indeed your prescribed Lexapro, and not a shady mixture of black market substances.

And, he’d been more than understanding in the aftermath. Quite frankly, he had somewhat made it his business to ensure that you got and took your medication on time and felt comfortable getting to and from your therapy appointments.

It’s endearing in a way that made you pause and count your blessings sometimes. Jean had been nothing but unequivocally supportive in his understanding about anxiety and had gone the extra mile to comfort you where need be. It made you wonder why you hesitated to tell Eren on several occasions.

It was probably the very nature of anxiety itself that had you doubting your trust in Eren. You wanted to tell him—of course you did—but, you couldn’t. You know that Eren would do everything in his power to make it better, even if that was just being. You know that he’d want to know and he’d kill to understand. But you couldn’t possibly burden him with your problems, not when he has a million of his own.

The one person in the world you wanted to tell, you were terrified of talking to. And you know it’s irrational to be afraid of him, but you can’t seem to control those thoughts. It’s a tiring, consuming, endless cycle.

Jean watches the way your gaze lowers to the floor. He knows exactly what you’re thinking, and, god, he swears if he could take that train of thought away from you, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

With a heavy heart and tired eyes, he takes a final step forward and wraps his arms around your body. He counts three, four seconds before you hug him back. He raises a hand to the back to your head, cradling your face into his shoulder and squeezing you tightly.

“Hey, I’m proud of you, you know that,” he speaks, just a notch above a whisper, “I know you’ll tell him when you’re ready.”

“I will,” you murmur into the fabric of his shirt. You hug him back a little tighter and close your eyes, “Thank you, Jean.”

And Jean holds on, and hopes you know that he wouldn’t let you go, “You’re welcome, (_____).”

You come home to find your entire apartment littered with flowers; in the hallway, on the sectional, atop the counter, up the stairs.

There are several boxes of your favorite macarons stacked in a small pyramid on the kitchen island, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you checked the labels to find that they were shipped straight from the south of France this morning. There’s too many bottles of Ace on the coffee table, sparkling next to a basket of what looks like your regular skincare products. A pretty, gold bow rests atop an even prettier pair of red-bottomed heels, and if you’re not mistaken, that’s a limited edition, vintage YSL clutch on the sectional, resting against your favorite throw pillow.

You sigh, making your way to the couch to pick up the orange envelope sticking out of the handbag. Just as you’re about to open it, you hear footsteps, and a voice that follows.

“You’re back,” Eren chirps from mid-way on the staircase, “I, uh, there’s catering coming from Butter coming soon. I know it’s your favorite,” he continues as he descends the stairs.

He has his hand on the back of his neck and there’s a faint, pink tint to his cheeks as he slowly makes his way towards you. You cross your arms, looking him up and down when he stands in front of you.

He’s wearing dark jeans and a tweed sweater with patches at the elbow. His hair is split down the middle, longer than usual, so the ends of sweep over his eyelashes; and there are telltale signs that he’d been toying with it.

“Eren, what is all of this?” you finally ask, shifting your weight to your right leg.

“Part one of my apology and explanation,” he replies, a hopeful timbre to his voice. You roll your eyes, but he continues anyway, “Actually, part two is in that envelope.”

Skeptical, you unfold your arms and open the envelope. You don’t know what you were expecting—a card, maybe tickets to a musical or something; but what you definitely weren’t expecting were two tickets to Paris.

“France?” you look up, tickets in hand, “You don’t get it do you? You can’t just buy all of this shit, jet us off to Europe and expect everything to be okay.”

“No, no it’s not like that—I swear!” he interjects, hands moving sporadically, “It’s just, well… Can we sit? Then I can explain everything.”

Eren looks at you with those big green eyes and that sad pout to his lips, and you find yourself sighing and taking a seat on the couch against your better judgement. There’s a small smile to his lips when you do—a little victory—and he sits next to you, your knees resting against each other as you face him.

He’s shaking, and your resolve to punish him with whatever solid exterior and half-assed silent treatment dissolves as you take his left hand in your right, and recall your conversation with Jean. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s me, Eren. You can talk to me.”

When he feels your smaller hand envelop his, the shaking stops, and for a moment, it feels like he can do this, like everything is okay. He smiles, and takes a deep breath.

“The other night, you were right, about my mom and her boyfriend coming home,” he starts, words slow and heavy, “I didn’t even know she was coming—I knew she was visiting this month, but she didn’t tell me when, and I thought it was going to be just her, you know? But then she showed up with him, and, well, I don’t know. I was upset. She’s been home for a week now, and we haven’t even gone to dinner or anything.”

He pauses, and you squeeze his hand for reassurance, “We were supposed to get lunch on Thursday, but she cancelled. Had some meeting or something, I don’t know, I don’t care. Friday comes and she says she wants to have dinner, right?”

You nod, he continues. “I thought it was just going to be us, but he was there. That’s when she told me that… that they’re…” he squeezes his eyes shut, “They’re engaged.”

Your mouth falls into a small o-shape. Everything made perfect sense now.

It’s not that Eren didn’t love his mother, quite the opposite actually. He’s a mama’s boy through and through; she’s his role model, his everything, he adores her. Her career as a designer often takes her on long business trips, most frequently as prolonged stays in Paris, so much so that she relocated her primary office there shortly after Eren graduated high school.

Now, she only visits home for one or two weeks at a time, sometimes only for the weekend. Upon her decision to permanently relocate, she planned to leave Eren under the unofficial supervision of Mikasa. Instead, Eren bought Mikasa her own three-bedroom apartment in Midtown (according to his logic, it was better for her to have her own place than to move in with Jean), and a shared two-story penthouse for the both of you that overlooks Central Park.

Eren misses her more than he cares to admit, but he puts on the same facade every time she comes home because he hates the company she brings.

Paris is where she met her newest boyfriend, Mitchell, and Eren swears he hates that man with every fiber of his being. It’s not saying much, though, not when Eren’s hated every single one of his mother’s past romantic partners, right down to his own father.

“Is… is that why you—”

“Rented a brand new Corvette and went drag racing at one in the morning?” he chuckles, “Yeah. It was stupid, I know, but I was just angry, I guess. I dunno what I was feeling, but it wasn’t good.”

You nod, wrapping both of your hands around his now and offering him a warm smile. He smiles back, just for a moment. “That’s what the tickets are for, actually. The wedding.”

“They’re getting married in France?” you question, to which he nods, “On the first? Isn’t that a little short notice to plan a wedding?”

“I think you’re underestimating the power of Carla Jaeger,” he chuckles, “Apparently, it’s been in the works for a few months now. He proposed with fireworks or some shit. Said she wanted to tell me in person, though.”

“This ticket is for next week,” you say, rereading the dates on the papers. “The wedding is three weeks from now.”

“Well, I kind of figured we could take a little vacation before then,” he grins, “I texted most of the boys earlier, and they can probably come to the wedding, but I want to spend some time with you before it gets hectic, you know? Consider it an end of the semester present.”

Your eyes flicker down to your hand, still wrapped around Eren’s, when he starts to trace circles into your skin, “I thought I just told you, you can’t jet us off to Europe to fix things.”

“You did,” he hums, “And I know I can’t—I’m not trying to, I just… Truthfully, I reserved the plane and the hotel a few weeks back and it really was just going to be a surprise for us—well, more like a gift for you because I know you’ve been busting your ass in chem—but then… everything else happened, and I think a break sounds perfect before I watch my mom get married for the sixth time.”

You watch him continue to toy with your hands for a while, processing your conversation. It was typical of Eren to surprise you like this, so you can’t figure out why this particular present leaves you feeling warmer than usual.

“You sure you don’t need a break from me?”

Eren beams and takes the opportunity to lace your fingers together. “Nah, you’re annoying, but not Jean level annoying.”

You scoff, “I’m telling him you said that.”

“It’ll sound better coming from you, anyway,” he shrugs, “Besides, I might just murder Mitchell if you’re not there with me.”

You chuckle, on the verge of accepting his proposal, but the mention of Jean prompts another thought to cross through your mind. “I’d love to, but I… I don’t know. I don’t want Armin to spend the first few weeks of winter break here all alone.”

This Christmas would mark one year since Armin had seen, or even talked to, any of his immediate family members, with the exception of Erwin.

Last year, you all tried to salvage the damage by sticking around so, at the very least, he didn’t have to feel alone. You and your friends decided that Armin ought to be celebrated, not ostracized for any aspect of himself, so you all chipped in for a cute, impromptu trip to the Catskills so that everyone could be together and close to home.

This year, however, there seemed to be quite a few conflicts of interest. Even if Armin was one of the boys who was planning on attending the wedding, you doubt he had plans leading up to it. You know that Marco, Bertholdt, Mikasa, and Jean had invited him to go to Aspen with them, but Armin declined the offer. Similarly, Connie, Sasha, Annie, Reiner, and Ymir would be off to Dubai as soon as classes ended; an invitation Armin had also turned down.

You weren’t sure what Erwin’s plans were, though you’re certain they involved his own friends in some way or another. At the very least, it was unlikely that he would leave his younger brother completely stranded over the break; but you didn’t want to make plans without knowing Armin wouldn’t be alone.

“He won’t, actually he’ll be closer than you think,” Eren reassures you, “Hange and Moblit wanted to go skiing anyways, so Erwin is taking all of them to the Alps instead of Aspen. Armin doesn’t know yet, but he’s going with them.”

“Shouldn’t Erwin spend his break campaigning, and not skiing? Last I checked, he wasn’t too popular in Queens”

“Ah, you know Erwin,” Eren shrugs, “He has a way of making people devote themselves to him. He’ll win the election with or without campaigning, trust me—the point is, that little baby Armin will be safe and sound under Erwin’s protection, and you don’t have to worry about him.”

“How come you get to call him a baby?”

“Because I’m a hypocritical asshole who doesn’t deserve you, but is hoping you’ll come with me anyway.”

Eren smirks, but there’s a genuine undertone to his words as he moves his fingers to toy with the ring around your pointer finger. The same one he gave to you two Christmases ago. Well, kind of.

The ring he originally gifted you was a Harry Winston piece, with an encrusted band that wrapped into two sunflowers, both made of classic, white diamonds with emeralds sparkling in the center. After seeing the design, and the price tag, you demanded that he take it back, or at the very least, get it sized to fit on your index finger or thumb so that people didn’t get the wrong idea.

Instead, he came back with a simple, silver chain for the original ring to hang from, and the current ring on your finger; a rose gold band with tiny diamonds studded around it. Likely equally as expensive, but more appropriate according to you.

“Fine. But you have to be on your best behavior,” you agree, paying no mind to Eren’s thumb twirling your jewelry, “Do you promise me no drag racing or antics of any sort while we’re there?”

Eren shakes his head at the memory, eyeing the first ring that sits against your chest.

He smiles. “I do.”

The afternoon after your last exam, you bid the remainder of your friends goodbye, grab your bags, and hop on a plane with Eren. It arrives in Paris, but you’re rerouted off to Nice before you can so much as blink at the Eiffel tower; you’d be staying there for the two and half weeks leading up to the wedding, in a small villa.

You had to hand it to him, Eren really outdid himself. It’s dark and nearing three in the morning when you arrive, but even in your sleepy stupor you can admire your accommodations. The villa is secluded, the perfect distance from the water, and decorated lavishly almost to your exact liking. You wouldn’t be surprised if Eren sprung it on you that he’d bought the place, and wasn’t merely renting it for this vacation.

Every day after that, Eren proves he was honest in his intentions of this being a getaway gift to you. He’s planned every activity under the sun—from hot air balloon rides, to helicopter tours, to jet-skiing. The days are certainly fun and filled with beautiful memories, but there’s something special about Nice at sunset; something about the sound of gentle waves brushing up against the beach, and the spotlights carved from sun-cast shadows on the buildings.

It’s just after dinner time, bordering on your eighth night here, when you and Eren are walking along the cobblestone streets that border the beach, the length of your sundress flowing every which way with the breeze, and the tail of Eren’s blazer flailing like a cape behind him.

He looks nice tonight, but, truthfully, he always does. He claimed he hadn’t put on the casual green suit because of your outfit, but you swear he was wearing khakis before he saw your dress. The tips of his ears go red when you tease him about it at dinner, but it doesn’t really matter to you; he would have looked good, regardless. Those suits are made for him, after all; tailored to fit perfectly, and designed by his own mother.

The streets tend to settle down after six, locals and tourists retreating indoors or heading to the beach to relax and draw in the evening. Tonight, however, there’s much more commotion than usual on your route.

“Maybe we should take the long way,” you suggest. On the tips of your toes, you realize that there’s some kind of special event happening in the square, filled with lights and music that grows louder with every step you take.

But the crowd and the lights and the smell of food only piques Eren’s interest. “No way—let’s check it out!”

You don’t have the time to refute before his long legs surpass your own stride, headfirst into the sea of people. You can only follow with a smile and a shake of your head. The soft green of his suit jacket serves as your guide as he navigates through the crowd, but the closer you get to the center, the more people there are.

You can feel palms of your hands growing uncomfortably warm as you become hyperaware of just how many people there are. You clutch the end of your dress in your hand, for both practicality and as a sort of comfort mechanism, as you try your best to calm the anxious wave threatening to crash against you.

With a deep breath, you begin to walk again, unaware of Eren’s actions until you physically walk into his hand, long fingers poking at your belly. You hadn’t realized he stopped walking, or that you’d caught up with him, and your eyebrows crinkle when you look down to see Eren’s left hand extended behind him and towards you, palm facing upwards.

He doesn’t say anything, or look back at you at all. Only wraps his larger fingers around yours when he feels the weight of your hand in his, and continues to guide you through the crowd, his pace slower, and hand firm around yours.

The mass of people becomes more spread out when you approach what appears to be the center of the event; and it looks like a party, maybe a wedding of some sort. There’s food and champagne galore, and more than enough happy guests dancing along to upbeat music in the streets.

Eren’s eyes light up as he takes in the scene, “You wanna dance?”

“What—Eren, no!” you refuse, “We cannot crash these people’s party!”

“Why not?” he counters, without a care in the world, “Seems like an open invitation to me! Come on!”

And for the second time that evening, you find yourself being pulled into his schemes; this time in the direction of the open space dubbed dance floor.

You’re both terrible and ostentatious and people start to watch, but it doesn’t matter because you’re smiling too wide and laughing too hard to care. Eren has a way of moving both with and against the music, forcing your body to follow his lead.

He shouts something over the noise, but you don’t have time to register his words before he laces your right hand with his left, and places his right hand on your waist. There’s a blink of confusion for a moment before you’re being swept off your feet and into a dramatic dip. You don’t have time to secure yourself against his shoulders, but Eren does a fine job of supporting you with a single arm against your back.

From what you can tell the song is far from over and the dramatic pose is completely unwarranted, but you and the crowd alike are victim to his charm. You indulge yourself, looking up at him with eyes too fond to memorize every feature of his face in this moment; the way he’s laughing with that big, dumb, wide smile of his that makes his nose crinkle and his eyes light up.

You’re too busy looking at him to hear Eren’s voice calling out to you, or even realize that he’s moved you from your pose to standing back upright. He’s equal parts amused and concerned at the glazed over look in your eyes.

“Hello? Anybody home up there?” he teases, elongating the vowels and squeezing your waist to alert you.

The reminder of his hands on your hips pulls you back to reality, your eyes fluttering down to his arms, then back to his face. It feels stuffy suddenly, too close to function.

“Yea—yeah! Do you wanna get a drink? Yeah, let’s get a drink!” you exclaim, haphazardly pointing and walking towards the food.

You don’t see it, but Eren looks on with glittering eyes, his verbal agreement heard only by himself as you veer towards the buffet. He can still feel your body in his grip, still see the specks of gold in your pupils as he lingers on the back of your silhouette lovingly. And before you can realize, he snaps himself out of it—an out of body experience similar to yours a few moments ago—before catching up with you.

You end up socializing for much longer than intended. Eren makes friends with everyone, to no surprise, and, uncharacteristically, you feel influenced by his actions, and converse with a few people yourself. You let him take the lead, though. Partially because he’s better at it, and partially because you just like listening to him speak French.

“Hey, we should probably get out of here,” he whispers into your ear after waving goodbye to a lovely couple you’d just met, “Before the host of this party realizes we’re miles better than his actual guests.”

You nod with a smile, more than happy to play by his rules for the evening. He offers you his hand again, that same, dopey smile on his face when you take it.

He leads you out of the crowd and back on to the path to your villa, the smell of warm food and sounds of vibrant music growing dull as you venture further from the celebration. It’s much darker than it was when you began your trek back from the restaurant, but beautiful all the same.

Your sandals pad against the wooden dock that leads up the villa, and Eren unlocks the door silently, ushering you inside before entering behind you.

“I know I said I wanted to leave, but I’m not really tired yet,” Eren confesses, pulling his blazer off of his shoulders.

“Me neither,” you say, placing your small wristlet on the table with a shrug, “What do you wanna do though, I’m not—”

“Great!” he cuts you off, smile too big. You narrow your own in suspicion. That tone of voice with that look on his face usually meant something mischievous, at best. “Remember when you said the first time you’d smoke would be with me, and then pranced away and took a bowl from Hange and got high as shit at Moblit’s party?”

“Why does everyone remember Moblit’s party but me!”

“Don’t worry about it,” he chuckles, waving the topic away, “Anyway… Do you wanna smoke now?”

You blink. “I… did you… smuggle weed all the way to France?”

“No, of course not!” he refutes, “…I got it here.”

You scoff, but don’t have the time to question him further before Eren’s tugging on your wrist and pulling you into the bedroom. You take to sitting on your bed while he rummages through his suitcase to retrieve a small, clear jar with several rolled joints inside and a lighter to match.

He shuffles next to you in the bed, mindlessly handing you the lighter while he unscrews the top off the jar. He takes out two of the joints, places one next to the jar on the nightstand, and tucks the other between his teeth. He asks you to hand him the lighter, and you do so wordlessly, distracted by the sight of Eren’s gaze and the blunt poking out his mouth.

“This’ll be fun, yeah?” He reassures you, “Technically, you let Hange take your weed virginity, but I’ll be better.”

“Can you not phrase it like that,” you roll your eyes, “You already took my virginity virginity, don’t be bitter.”

An all too smug grin settles on his features as he recounts the fact. “Besides,” you tack on, “I’ve never done it like this before. So, it’s still a first, kind of.”

Eren cups one hand around the joint, sparking the lighter with the other until it catches fire. He inhales, slow and deliberate, as if he were putting on a show, or a lesson, of sorts, taking the smoke into his lungs and out through his mouth.

You’d gravely miscalculated how attractive Eren would look doing this. Sure, he’s hot, you knew that, but the pronunciation of his jawline when he exhales, and the confidence with which he drags on the blunt is a stark reminder to you. He takes a few more hits, just as slow and sensual as the first, and the room begins to feel warmer.

“Come closer,” be beckons, smoke rolling off of his tongue with every syllable.

You snap yourself out of the haze of your imagination and scoot closer to him. He silently hands you the joint, and it feels heavy between your fingers. At the distance, you take in the smell—pungent and off-putting, but too familiar.

Eventually, you bring it to your lips, careful not to let your tongue press against the tip, and inhale slowly, like you’d seen Eren do before. You do your best to hold the smoke in your lungs for a bit, but seeing as the last time you did this you were amped up on adrenaline and drunk off your ass, the task proves to be much more difficult. It tickles before becoming uncomfortable and you exhale ungracefully, puffs of smoke punctuating your coughs.

Eren watches with a grin, amused at the sight of you fanning the excess smoke away with your nose scrunched in distaste. “You should have warned me you were gonna cough like a bitch.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you whine, trying to hide the hint of a smile creeping onto your face. You hand the blunt back to him, “You’re supposed to teach me, not tease me, asshole.”

Eren pauses his laughter, unsure of what to make of your tone; rushed, a bit embarrassed, but testy. It’s quiet while he stares at you, trying not to let the implication of your words run wild in his mind; but it’s futile when you’re pouting like that, the room is growing foggier, and he’s been semi-hard since you accepted his offer.

“Fine. Watch and learn,” he breathes, words coming out more jagged than he’d intended.

This time, he completely exaggerates every motion; he inhales at a tantalizing pace and flutters his eyes closed while he lets the smoke swish in his mouth, down his throat, and expand into his lungs. He cranes his neck upwards, and purses his lips to let the clouds exit in the streamline that follows the slope of his jaw.

Maybe it’s the drugs getting to you, but your mind is filled with nothing but sheer clouds that aren’t thick enough to block out thoughts of Eren. The weed is unattractive, potent in smell, and all kinds of wrong; yet, everything about him is soft, sultry, and pulls you in.

“Wanna try again, or do you need another lesson?”

You faintly mutter a profanity under your breath. His words end with giggles, a sign the drugs have already begun to take their effect on him, his expression is still smug. You forget Eren knows just how attractive he is. Motherfucker.

“Actually,” he cuts your train of thought, “I have a better idea, come ‘ere.”

Eren beckons you forward again, closing the gap between your legs so that your knees graze each other under the fabric of your clothing while you’re sat next to each other. He leans over, far too close into your personal space, as if to test something; he freezes when his nose is mere inches from your face, a dissatisfied scrunch taking over his features.

He reinstates his hold on your wrist, motioning your body backwards until your back is against the frame of the bed. He hums in approval, positioning himself next to you again, equally as close, but far more comfortable for what he has planned next.

“I’m—I’m gonna try somethin’, okay?” he stutters, the first word mistakenly coming out in broken German, “Just, don’t freak out on me. It’ll be good, promise.”

You nod, unsure of what you’ve just signed off on, but you don’t have time to ask questions. Eren takes another hit, then passes the blunt to his non-dominant hand. He turns to face you, leans forward, and places his free hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer; the expanse of his palm leaving room for his thumb to venture over the bottom half of your cheek.

Eren pulls you in until your lips are millimeters apart, and he can see the pattern of your eyes in beautiful detail. He shifts his hand now so that the majority of it covers your face, the pad of his thumb running across your bottom lip. He applies the perfect amount of pressure to pry your willing mouth open, and then, finally, exhales.

This time, you can taste it. It’s woodsy, and bitter, but the sweet undertones dance on your tongue. This time, there’s more to think about than just the smoke in your lungs; like the burn of Eren’s hand on your neck; the pressure of his thumb against your bottom lip; the proximity of his lips to yours; the look in his eyes.

“Feel good?” he doesn’t bother to pull away before asking, and the words ghost over your lips with the remaining smoke. You nod; he smiles. “Wanna try again?”

You let out a breathy note of affirmation, and then he’s inhaling and exhaling into you, and you welcome him with pried lips and a heavy thumping in your chest. The confidence with which he maneuvers his body and the drugs is nerve-wracking, yet comforting at the same time; he has an expertise and power that intimidates, but compels you to follow.

Together, you finish the first blunt, and Eren lights the second without missing a beat. His hands are more demanding this around; they guide you into submission, and he’s pleased to find that you’re willing to listen.

After the third exhale, you stop focusing on his hands, and more on his lips. After the fourth, you think you might be high—not to the stars as you infamously were during Moblit’s party—but with a comfortable, dull buzz in your head. Everything feels a little fuzzy, out of touch, but you host a burning want for something more, something tangible.

You don’t know it, but Eren feels the same.

After the fifth exhale, Eren pulls away, the blunt a simple stub as he flicks it away onto the night stand, and you miss him being too close. You miss his hands, you miss his warmth, you crave his touch.

“Eren,” you call, unable to think of or see anything but him in the haze. He answers with a strained, “Yeah?” keening towards the sound of your voice, wide eyes flitting all over your face.

It’s too much, too close, too hot. That’s when you cup his jaw, pull him forward, and meld your lips together.

Kissing Eren is painfully familiar, and unnervingly satisfying. It’s certainly not your first kiss with him; and, yet he has a way of making you feel like it is while reminding you of your history. His lips are soft, and they taste like smoke and the chapstick you swear by because he refuses to buy or test out his own.

You pull away too soon, gauging his reaction with blown-out eyes, before dipping forward to have him against you again. Then again, and again, and again, until Eren is tired of your leaving, and his hands are back on your neck.

This kiss is deeper, Eren searching to satisfy the hunger aching inside of him, and you’re happy to comply when his thumb is pressing at your lower lip again. You open your mouth for him and he doesn’t waste a moment, brushing his tongue against yours experimentally, and then flush into your mouth.

He groans when you rake your fingers into his hair, and pulls back with a hissing noise when you scratch at his nape. Large hands move to grip at your waist, and he pulls you into his lap with a concentrated gaze—a brief second for him to admire the sight of you on top of him, before he resumes kissing you. He sucks on your tongue, rolls his past your teeth, and bites on your bottom lip.

You know he relishes in the sounds he elicits from you, and under any normal circumstance, you’re willing to put up a fight with him, but not now. Now, you let him unzip the back of your dress and snake his hands beneath the fabric. The rubbing motions of his hands turn into gripping, gripping into grinding, and eventually, an unfiltered moan slips past your lips when you feel Eren’s erection roll against you.

“Fuck,” he pulls back with a suck of your swollen lip, “You’re so hot.”

Eren quickly switches your positions so that he’s hovering over you. You chuckle lightly underneath him, taking the opportunity to run both your hands through his hair and cradle his head in your hold, “Haven’t done anything yet.”

“I know,” Eren murmurs, dipping his head down to press kisses into your neck, “Still so sexy. So pretty, always.”

Eren bites a hickey into your collar bone, and everywhere he can touch; your neck, your ears, your cheeks, your lips. Your moaning serves as the spark to keep him going, but he’s barely coherent himself the way you keep pulling at his hair and grinding yourself against him. Even through his clothes, you can feel how painfully hard he is.

He barely catches your tongue between his lips when you moan again, sucking harshly before bruising his lips over yours again. His hands are grabby again, finally pulling your dress completely off of your body, leaving it to form a puddle on the ground. They’re back on your as soon as possible, massaging over your tits, and running his index finger over your nipples.

“Eren... Eren, please,” you whimper, chest heaving as you look down at him. He rolls his index finger over your right nipple, with his left hand teasing the other with his thumb. You can’t tell if the look in his eyes is a product of the weed, or just his glassy, borderline predatory stare, but it makes you shiver with pleasure when he wraps his mouth around your nipple and sucks.

“I want you.”

“Want you, too,” Eren hums, pulling back with a thin trail of spit from your breast, before moving to give your left nipple the same treatment, “More than you know.”

You keen to him when he teases his teeth against you, finally having had enough you force him off of you with a tug of his hair. “Then take off your clothes.”

Eren blinks, wide-eyed but glazed all the same. He chuckles lightly, a blush spreading over his cheeks as he nods. He sits back on his knees, pulling his shirt over his head, forgoing undoing the buttons, and pauses briefly with his hands over the zipper of his pants.

“Please tell me you’re not that gone that you forgot how to undo your zipper,” you tease him, chest still heaving from his previous ministrations. Eren smiles, doe-eyed and hazy, and shakes his head.

“No,” he reassures you, finally undoing his zipper and shimmying his pants off his legs, “Was trying to remember what underwear I was wearing. Didn't want it to be embarrassing.”

His honesty makes you laugh, and Eren pauses for a moment to soak it in. Even like this, even with him stumbling over the steps to undress himself, and you almost completely naked in front of him, he can make you smile. There’s something equally sexy and endearing about your giggles; a juxtaposition that makes him want to hug you or kiss you or something in between. And you—you like the look in his eyes even through your giggling; the way he smiles back and blushes and tells you exactly what he’s thinking.

“It’s okay,” you tell him, “Don’t think mine are particularly sexy either.”

Eren hums, shuffling back on to the bed so that he’s between your legs, and leans forward to kiss you again. He still can’t seem to keep his hands off of you, his fingers immediately flying to your underwear and peeling them off your legs, pulling you closer despite the lack of space between your bodies.

“Yeah, doesn’t matter,” Eren echos, tossing the offending item to the side, before cupping your face in his hands, “I’d still wanna fuck you in your granny panties.”

“You wanna fuck me?” you question, eyes sparkling and hopeful.

“Yeah, I do,” Eren can’t help but to smile again, happy and high and drunk on you, too, “Will you let me?”

Your feverish nodding is all it takes for Eren’s mind to go hazy again; clouded with you, you, you. You pull him into a kiss, arching your body into his, and running your hands down the sides of his back. He moans at the feeling, punishing you by nipping at your lower lip and pressing your stomach back to the mattress with his palm.

Your eyes meet his as Eren lines himself up with your cunt, teasing your folds with the head; but it doesn’t take long before he finally pushes in, sheathing himself inside you completely without movement. He waits a minute, whether it’s to make you comfortable, or to gather his own bearings, you’re not sure; but when he’s ready, he flashes you a smile and waits for one in return, before he starts thrusting.

You know Eren’s not gentle; rough whether or not he intends to be by virtue of his size in comparison to you, but you seem to have forgotten just how capable he is of making you lose your senses. He has you gasping, grasping at him at him unintelligibly, feeling full with his cock inside of you.

Eren groans, borderline growls, when he feels you clench around him, when he sees you shaking beneath him. He could do this all; could watch you all day.

“So pretty, the prettiest. Prettiest girl, my favorite girl,” Eren praises, eyes raking up and down your thrashing body, “My favorite fucking girl.”

“You—you, too.”

“Yeah? I’m your favorite, too?” Eren coos, reaching out to guide your arms over your head, the force of his body pinning your hands down; you can hardly gasp before he lacess your fingers together, and gives you a reassuring squeeze.

“Promised you, didn’t I? That I’d be good to you, be on my best behavior,” Eren reminds you, leaning forward.

He eyes your necklace—eyes glued to ring around it—bouncing with your body. He bends his head down to kiss it, bites at the skin near it; a possessive streak overcoming him as the diamonds shine against you. “I said I’d treat you good, always. Meant it.”

He stutters, when you squeeze him back; fingers tightening around his hold, your pussy clenching around his cock. Your whining is insistent, and mixes with Eren’s low moans and guttural noises. Eren doesn’t let up his pace, fucking you fast and deep, and it’s only a matter of time before you feel a knot twisting in your belly.

You attempt to move your arms, searching for a release of the feeling building up inside of you but Eren is strong; stronger than you, and he keeps you in your place. Keeps your arms pinned above you, keeps his palms pressed into yours, keeps his lips hovering above yours, just out of reach.

“Eren,” you call his name through shaky moans.

“Yeah? What, baby?”

“Kiss me.”

And so he does, his lips needy and hungry over yours. Eren fucks you and kisses you through your orgasm, tasting your moans on his tongue in timing with him cumming inside of you. You don’t let up; kissing him lewdly while you both come down from your highs.

“So good,” Eren croons against your lips, down your jaw, into your skin, “So good for me.”

You both moan in chorus when he finally pulls out, Eren’s head laying on your collar, nose nuzzling into your neck. He lets your hands free, and immediately you wrap them around his back, holding him close as you both attempt to catch your breaths.

You don’t know how long you lay there like that, with Eren on top of you, and your thumb rubbing circles into his cheek while he sleeps soundly. Maybe an hour, maybe more, maybe less; but the euphoria of your sex doesn’t quiet seem to fade.

It might last all night, maybe even for the rest of your trip but you don’t mind. You think back to earlier in the evening, when you’d caught his gaze after your dance. The feeling isn’t all that different; warm, and fuzzy, and too much and not enough all at once. It feels good, it feels like Eren.

You hum softly to yourself, careful not to wake up the sleeping boy on your chest, when you realize exactly what these two moments have in common: a rare event in which Eren is still in front of you, steady and stagnant, no running or chasing; and you don’t want to let him go.

Sometimes Eren thinks you act oblivious on purpose just to fuck with him, because there’s absolutely no way you—or any human with a functioning nervous system and social cues—can’t tell that he’s completely, stupidly, and embarrassingly in love with you.

Long gone are his days of trying to deny it or get over it. He realized that sophomore year of high school—almost eight years ago—that no matter where he went, what kind of drug he inhaled, or how hard he tried, you’d be permanently etched into his heart. That doesn’t make it any less exhausting, and, in fact, only makes it more astounding that you haven’t caught on yet. Honestly, Eren’s considered hiring a private psychiatrist just to make nothing’s wrong with you.

Amazingly, the remainder of your vacation continues just like the former half. The only exception being that now you’re in Paris. And that he’s shamelessly coerced you into letting him fuck your brains out on several occasions. But besides that, everything’s chill.

Just two best friends traveling through France together and stopping to fuck in any semi-private location they can find. Just two peas in a pod walking along the Champs Elysées at damn near midnight. Just two best buds with linked arms tasting (see: feeding each other) every macaron flavor they come across while violinists play stupidly romantic, classical music in the background.

He knows he should probably talk to you about it, but for some reason he can’t. Like telling you would make it all too real, and give it a meaning that could so easily be taken away from him; give you a reason to want to leave him. Right now, it’s just a fantasy, and he’s free to keep dreaming, believing that he’s special and worth enough for the affection you’ve shown him.

He doesn’t want to be one in a list of your boyfriends, or fiances, or husbands; he wants to be your only one, and if he can’t be, then he’d rather be stuck to your side as your best friend. At least that way, in someway, he could remain special to you; not a forgotten, ordinary ex of your past.

Though, a best friend who he’s sleeping with regularly and he’s in love with and will always be in love with is starting to sound a lot like a husband to him. At least, the kind of husband he would like to be to you.

You call his name, asking him if he wants to try another sweet. Eren rolls his eyes. What he wants is to fuck you, and marry you, and have you bless his stupid little existence with two runts for kids that look like him but act like you so his life savings don’t run out by the time they’re twelve. But sure, he’ll settle for having you feed him another macaron in the meantime.

“This one tastes just like the coconut one,” he mumbles, chewing his way through the pastry you’d stuffed into his mouth whole.

It’s the seventh bakery you’ve stopped at tonight, and even though Eren’s growing pretty sick of the sugary treats, he’ll walk with you to every damn bakery in Paris tonight if that’s what you want.

He blinks at the thought. He’s so lovesick it’s disgusting. And he wouldn’t do a damn thing to change it.

“That’s probably because it’s almond and coconut flavored,” you say, wiping the stickiness from your fingers onto a napkin.

“I didn’t taste any almonds.”

“I don’t even think you could spell almond, much less tell me what they taste like.”

Eren simply pouts in refute, leaving you giggling at his expression. He doesn’t know if it’s possible, but you seem even prettier in Paris than in Nice. But, that’s probably his rose-colored glasses speaking.

“You think there’ll be macarons at the reception?” you question, biting into yet another pistachio flavored treat, “And if not, would it be rude to bring my own?”

He chuckles. “Yes, babe, I’m sure there will be macarons there.”

He’s always loved Paris, even when his mom moved away here and left him in New York, and he’d always loved it more when you’re with him. He feared that having to attend another, what he considered to be wasteful, wedding in arguably one of his favorite places in the world would leave a bitter taste in his mouth; but, thankfully, he’s only fallen deeper in love since being here.

“You sure you won’t be sick of them by tomorrow?” he asks, watching you debate between taste testing another variation of vanilla bean or rosé.

“How could I get sick of them?” you answer offhandedly, not sparing him a glance away as you choose the pink snack. How could he get sick of you.

“By the time we get back to New York you’ll have forgotten all about them,” he scoffs.

“Don’t worry I’ll quit it soon. I’ll have to eat something solid if I wanna take my meds and go to bed,” you spew with a smile, unaware of what you’ve actually just said, “But they are delicious and I have no regrets.”

Eren pauses. Then so do you, mouth stuffed with sickly sweet.

“I mean—”

“I know, you know,” he cuts you off, “About the meds and stuff.”

You look like you could pass out, or scream, or cry, or everything in between. Eren figures saying more is better than saying less, so he continues.

“I saw a bottle in the bathroom a few months ago,” he admits shyly, but careful about his tone, “Didn’t understand half the words on the label, but it had your name on it so I just, uh… Googled it.”

Of course he knows. Eren’s always kind of known, just never had the words to express it. He imagines that’s what you’re feeling right now.

“Oh,” you finally gape, “Why didn’t you, um… you know, like, say… anything?”

“It seemed like your secret to tell,” Eren shrugs, features softening out, “Besides, I figured you’d tell me when you wanted to.”

Eren’s always been better at showing than saying, anyway. He hopes that his actions, small as they may seem, might have provided you with any sort of comfort in the past few months. Maybe even before that, too.

“Oh,” you repeat, continually blinking at him, “That’s… that’s it? You’re cool with it?”

Now it’s Eren’s turn to blink. “What do you mean am I cool with it? They’re your meds.”

“Yeah, but like… you’re not mad I didn’t tell—”

“Of course I’m not mad,” he cuts you off with a soft smile, “It’s not really my business. I mean, like, you’re my business because I care about you, but you have your own private stuff, too, which is cool. Besides, when I was, uh, researching it, I learned that it can be hard to tell people stuff like that even if—”

Eren shuts up when he feels your weight against him and your arms wrapped around him. Shell shocked, he takes a moment to hug you back, and slowly comes to rest his chin atop your head after leaving a flurry of kisses.

“You didn’t have to look it up or do any kind of research, you know,” you mumble softly into his jacket. Eren borderline chortles, but only hugs you more tightly.

“Of course I did. If not for you, then for myself, because I meant it when I said I’d never seen half the words on the prescription before in my life,” he replies, heart glowing at the sound of your small chuckles.

He’s expecting an equally witty response, but you surprise him when you pull back just enough to face him, a hazy smile on your face. “You’re amazing, Eren.”

Don’t blush, fool. Don’t blush, fool. Don’t blush—fucking idiot.

“Yeah, I’m pretty great,” he boasts, leaning back into the coolest pose he could muster up while ignoring the growing heat creeping up his neck. It’s all in vain as you reach over to playfully tug at one of his ears.

He thinks you’re pretty like this. All the time, but most notably when he has you in his arms. So pretty, that he has to lean forward to kiss you; you don’t seem to mind, if the way you smile into the kiss is any indication of your feelings. Eren finds himself mirroring your grin; moving his arms from around your waist to the sides of your face.

The workers in this poor little café probably hate the two of you, but he doesn’t fucking care. He’s got his favorite girl in his arms right now, and you taste like almonds and coconuts and like the love of his life.

And he should tell you. Eren wants to tell you, and he finds himself wondering if those same intrusive, fearful thoughts were part of the driving force behind your own reason to keep your secrets from him.

You pull away from him, hands lightly draped around his neck, and you smile like you’re shy—like he hasn’t known you your whole life. Still, Eren finds himself smiling back; and thinks that if you were brave enough to tell him how you were feeling, then he should do the same.

“(_____), I… I gotta tell you something,” he starts, voice soft as his fingers curl around your waist a little more tightly, “Though, I’m kind of hoping you already know.”

You blink at him, almost innocently. Eren bites the inside of his jaw; you’re going to have to stop doing that before he jumps you again.

Better now than never, he supposes. He tries to shake his nerves when he takes your hands in his, completely covering them with his palms, and closes his eyes. Despite that, you try to offer him comfort, squeezing his fingers as best you can; and Eren takes that moment to thank his lucky stars for whoever decided to put you in his life. Because he knows that no matter what, even if he royally fucks this up, you’ll find some way to be there for him.

He slowly blinks his eyes open again, gaze resting on the ring around your neck. A faded chuckle escapes his lips when looks at it. The only one who got the wrong idea about his gift was you. But, he supposes that’s his fault; he never did explain it, after all.

“It’s nothing… It’s just that, I’m in—”

But Eren’s startled by a voice that makes him freeze. He almost wants to believe he misheard it, but he can hear the telltale clacking of vintage heels on the floor of the bakery and he knows that he didn’t mishear a thing.

Eren turns his head, and sure enough, there is his mother, in all her five foot glory, adorned in designer clothing from her beret to her shoes. With a fucking street urchin on her arm.

“Well, well, well, what a lovely surprise,” Carla beams, red lipstick perfectly in place even after a long day of wear.

Eren’s eyebrows draw together, as he takes in his mother and her fiancé standing in front of him. He can just barely register you calling out towards her, carefully maneuvering yourself off of his lap, and into the neighboring chair; but still keeping your right hand wrapped around his left. He can feel you squeeze it—whether to give him comfort, or warning, he’s not sure yet; probably both.

“It’s so good to see you!” you beam, excitedly offering her and Mitchell a seat across from the two of you at the table. Eren opens his mouth to refute, but you squeeze his hand again; a warning.

Carla leans forward to encase you in a hug, exchanging cheek kisses, and leaving Eren to stare at the street rat across from him. Mitchell seems to know better than to make eye contact with him, irises scattering from Carla’s back to the décor of the bakery while the two girls catch up.

“We missed you at the rehearsal dinner on Sunday,” Carla recounts, eyes fluttering to Eren’s briefly. One look into her son’s eyes, and she understands why; one look into his mother’s eyes, and Eren knows she has him all figured out. “I was worried you might not show at all.”

Eren strategically averts your gaze when you turn your head towards him, choosing to look at his mother instead.

“I didn’t even know there was a rehearsal dinner,” you tell her, tone polite, but Eren can hear the clear jab directed towards him, “I’m sorry, I—we would have gone, otherwise.”

“No need to apologize, darling,” Carla smiles, “I’m sure you two were very busy.”

“We were,” Eren cuts in, words definite. He sees a hint of surprise flash in his mother’s eyes briefly, expertly covered up with her sweet demeanor. She only nods in understanding, sitting back a bit to wrap her arm around Mitchell’s.

“What are you even doing here, Ma?” Eren questions, even as you do the same with his hands under the table, “Isn’t it bad luck to see the groom before the wedding.”

“After the third or fourth wedding, you grow tired of pleasantries and superstitions, my love,” she replies, “This place makes Mitchell’s favorite macarons, we thought we’d share a few before the big day. Maybe get some tea as a pre-celebration.”

The topic of sweets has you speaking up once again, engaging both his mother and Mitchell in a discussion about them, and your other findings from bakery hopping earlier. If Eren didn’t love you to pieces, he would have left the table a long time ago.

It carries on much longer than he can bear to endure; almost an hour of you, and his mother, and Mitchell making pleasant conversation while he tries his best not to brood beside you, but it’s futile. He feels like a little kid again. Stuck at the dinner table with his mother and a man he was being forced to get to know, only for him to become a stranger to him in a matter of months.

Eren grinds his teeth into each other when you laugh at something Mitchell says. He’s not going to sit through his any longer; or ever again.

“Well, this has been fun,” Eren says, voice blatantly monotonous as his cuts through the conversation, “But we should all probably head back go to bed. Big day tomorrow.”

“Eren, we should—” but, he stands up quickly, hand wrapping around yours to force you upwards too.

He doesn’t care to look at you, knowing the dissatisfied expression he’ll be met with. He fishes for his wallet and pulls out too many Euros, neatly tucking them under an unused knife to pay for the meal.

Eren’s steps out from between his chair and the table. “We’ll see you guys tomorr—” But is stopped before he can take three steps away.

His mother’s hand wrapped around his wrist. She stands, significantly shorter than Eren’s full height. “Actually, Eren, could I borrow you for a bit?”

And he doesn’t want to, because he knows exactly the conversation waiting for him. But he looks down at her, lets his eyes flicker to you, and back to her, and he knows he doesn’t have the heart to walk away. Not even if he tried.

He sighs with a shallow nod. He can feel your hand on his shoulder, the proud smile on your lips when you tell him that you’ll meet him back at your hotel. Mitchell ensures him and Carla that he’ll make sure you get back safely, and Eren still can’t stand the guy, but he’s grateful that he can at least be of use for something.

Eren kisses you on the forehead briefly, a promise to you and himself that he’ll finish his confession later. After all, he probably should come to terms with the woman who taught him what love is before he vowed to love you for the rest of his life.

The walk to his mother’s hotel is silent, Eren choosing to keep to himself, hands stuffed in his pockets to prevent his mom from holding them. He’s probably acting like a child, but isn’t that what he is to her; isn’t that she treats him as.

“Look, Ma, you don’t need my approval to marry him,” Eren grumbles, when they finally exit the elevator into the hotel room, “It doesn’t matter to me.”

“Of course I don’t,” Carla offers him a small grin, even if he won’t look at her directly, “But it matters to me.”

“Why does it matter now? It didn’t matter with Keith, or Henry, or Henri with an I, or any of the others,” Eren mumbles, reluctantly taking a seat on the stool opposite the vanity.

His mother tracks his movements with soft eyes and an amused grin as Eren absentmindedly bends a knee and begins to fiddle with the hem of his pants. Just like he used to when he was upset as a child.

“It mattered then, too, Eren,” she tells him, sitting on the stool and facing him.

He’s surprised by her words, his wide eyes giving him away even if he attempts to act unfazed. “It didn’t seem like it.”

Carla opens her mouth to speak, but closes it, words stuck in her throat. She watches Eren’s hunched figure, her tall son not even bothering to look her in the eyes. She exhales slowly; if he were five feet smaller, he’d have tucked himself under her arm, still refusing to look at her, but he’d have snuggled his head into her side while he pouted anyway.

“I suppose it didn’t,” she admits, “In the end, the love wasn’t enough to make it last, then.”

Eren is quiet for a bit at that, pulling at his pants leg. “And… and you love him enough, now?”

“It’s more than love, Eren. It’s... happiness—for yourself and another person—it’s being okay with somebody knowing you now, and forever. Whichever version of you that is.”

“Then why did you marry them before?” Eren asks, “If you knew it wasn’t enough, if you knew it was just going to end up as another big mistake.”

“Maybe the marriages were a mistake, and some of what came with them, but I don’t think the feelings were,” Carla muses, “Love is never wasted.”

“How can you say that?” Eren questions, disbelief and exasperation painted on his face, “Of course it is—you wasted your time, and your money, and your—your everything on those people who couldn’t care less about you now!”

“Eren—”

“You let them into our house,” Eren speaks over her, “You let them into your life, and they left. They always left—”

“Eren—”

“—And you even let some of them come back! Everyone, you let everyone have another chance, another anniversary, another wedding,” He’s ranting, crying, hot, irrational tears streaming down his face; hiccups interrupting his speech, “So—so, so if it’s not wasted and everyone gets another chance and another chance and another chance—why didn’t he come back, huh? For his?”

Eren’s standing now, arms flailing every which way during his breakdown, but his mother doesn’t try to stop him. She lets him continue, hears him out.

“If it’s love—if it’s not wasted, and it’s real—then why didn’t he come back? Why didn’t he want to? Why—why didn’t he want me? Why did I end up the bastard?”

Eren looks his mother in the eyes for the first time in the duration of their conversation with that final question; with his vision blurry, and chest heaving, and cheeks wet. Carla has no words to say; can only carefully open her arms, and wait for her son to come crashing into them. And he does; and it rains and pours, and Eren holds onto his mother for dear life, and onto the pieces of her breaking heart.

“Am I not good enough to have that kind of love?” Eren asks through tears, “Am I not special enough to want to know?”

“Eren,” she finally speaks, moving to cradle his head in her hands, “You don’t have to be special or good, to be known or loved. It’s enough that you were born. That’s enough to make you deserving of love.”

She doesn’t mind the tears against her palms or the hiccups of Eren’s breathing, “And you already have it.”

And Eren looks at her with eyes wide and wild like a child, staring at the first person to have ever loved someone as messed up, and plain, and ordinary as him; and he can feel more tears bubbling at his eyes.

“Ma, I’m—I’m so sorry,” he chokes out, wrapping his arms around her even tighter, chin resting on her shoulder while his shake through his tears, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Carla hugs her son as close as she can, like he’s five years old and the apple of her eye and she can take all his pain away. “You don’t have to be. You’re my son, and I’ll love you always.”

It feels like they have all the time in the world like that, to hug and cry and apologize; but Carla hopes Eren knows that he was always forgiven; that he never had anything to apologize for in the first place.

“She loves you, too, baby,” she coos, holding Eren as tight as possible, “But you have to let her know that. That you accept it.”

“Do you think she knows?” Eren asks, words muffled into the fabric of her clothing, “That I love her, too?”

“I do,” Carla confirms, pulling away to look at Eren in the eyes; his beautiful, shining, green eyes, “But I don’t think that either of you really realized it. I mean, you did give her an engagement ring, darling.”

Eren huffs at the memory, “She thought it was a gift.”

“Because you gave it to her as a gift.”

“I thought it was pretty obvious.”

“Love has a way of making people blind,” Carla muses, “Especially two lovesick semi-adults with too much money on their hands.”

Eren’s cheeks grow pink at the accusation, “It’s your money!”

“Yes, and I’m very happy to have it,” Carla chuckles, motioning for Eren to stand up. He does, and she looks up at him with glimmering, proud eyes. “Now, go, shoo. You have a girl to propose to, don’t you? There might be two Jaeger weddings this weekend.”

Eren nods, certain of himself for the first time in a while. He turns on his heel with a vigor igniting his footsteps, but pauses when he reaches the elevator. He makes a sharp turn, running back to his mom one last time, and squeezing her suddenly, and tightly against him.

“I love you, mom,” he says; the words too foreign on his tongue, and he vows to not let them be a stranger to his vocabulary from here on out.

“I love, you, too, Eren,” Carla calmly wraps her arms around her son one last time, “And I always will.”

You half-expected your walk back to your hotel with Mitchell to be painfully awkward, but he proves to be a pleasant conversationalist, even in Carla’s absence.

You know that Eren isn’t fond of him, but you wish that he would at least give him a chance. There’s no way to know if a marriage—if any relationship—will last forever, but, sometimes, you think it’s not about knowing about forever; but, rather about wanting it to make it there; about willing to go the distance with that person.

You can see that want, that willingness that works alongside love in Mitchell and Carla’s relationship, that stands out from her past marriages. You get the feeling they’re going to last; and that, most importantly, they both want it to, too.

It’s quiet out as you both walk the streets of Paris, Mitchell taking the time to point out small notes in architecture that interest you. You readjust your jacket as a gust of wind washes over you, careful to make sure your necklace doesn’t snag against your clothing.

“That’s a beautiful ring,” he calls to you gently.

“Thank you,” Surprised, you quickly let out an embarrassed cough, looking down to your left hand resting atop the uppermost button on your coat. “It was a gift.”

“I meant that one,” Mitchell corrects, carefully gesturing to his own neck to indicate that he was talking about the ring on your necklace, and not the one on your finger.

“Oh, thank you,” you repeat, “That one was actually a gift, too.”

The older man hums, continuing your walk to your hotel. “Must have been one hell of a gift. I don’t know many people who give out engagement rings as presents.”

“Oh, no, no, no, it wasn’t—it’s not an engagement ring,” you tell him, feeling a warmth creep up your cheeks even in the chilly atmosphere of the night, “Eren gave it to me, actually, a few years ago—it was a Christmas gift.”

“Eren, huh?” Mitchell smiles fondly, “That makes sense. Carla tells me how much he cares about you.”

“You—she does?” you stutter. Mitchell nods. “I—I mean, I care about him, too.”

“Enough to accept an engagement ring from him, it seems,” Mitchell taunts, “I’m no specialist, but I know a Harry Winston piece when I see it. They’re not cheap.”

“Trust me, I know,” you scoff, “I almost killed him when I saw how much he spent on it.”

“And you took it, anyway?”

“Well, he—he was supposed to return it,” you defend yourself, “Because I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea! But he just, well, he gave me the other one instead, so I wear that one on my hand.”

Mitchell pauses, just as you both stand to the entrance of your hotel. “And what was the wrong idea you didn’t want people getting.”

“That... that...,” you pause, thinking back to that Christmas day.

Even though Eren is known for spending ludacris amounts of money, the ring came as a genuine surprise to you. A couple thousand on shoes, sure—you’re victim to that yourself; a couple hundred thousand on a lavish vacation wasn’t out of the ordinary, either; but a million, maybe even more, on a ring that you could have only ever asked of him in your dreams was another thing completely.

And, sure, even a few million didn’t mean much to you or Eren at the end of the day, but it wasn’t just the price; it was the object of the money, too. To accept a house, or a car, or a jet for that amount is something you could rationalize; but a ring seemed foreign, and far out of your league.

Then there was the display and value it held beyond money. It’s beautiful, gorgeous, but more than that, it’s tailored to your exact liking. The synthesis of your aesthetic and everything you could ask for, garnished with the memory of Eren in the very design; the diamonds you love, the flowers that remind him of you, and the way they stems wrap around each other and the petals meet in the middle.

A small gasp leaves your lips and instinctively, you reach to clutch the ring in your hold. There was no way this was an engagement ring... Eren hadn’t proposed to you when he gave it to you—in fact, he was so casual about it, that it had you stunned that he hadn’t thought to consider that other people might think it meant something more than what he intended it to be.

But, looking back, it seems like you’re the only one who didn’t understand what was going on. Because Eren told you, even then, that he’d wanted you forever; you didn’t know how to hear him. It was all right there—not just in the ring, but in all his gifts, in the entirety of your friendship.

Eren loves you, more than you could ever know.

“It’s an engagement ring,” you say aloud, but more to yourself than to Mitchell, “Oh my god, it’s an engagement ring.”

Mitchell can’t do anything but smile at your revelation. You’re practically bouncing off the walls, connecting the puzzle pieces of your relationship in the middle of the street at damn near midnight, but you don’t care; because it finally feels right, and it finally, finally all makes sense.

“He, but he never pro—oh my fucking god, I’m going to kill him.”

You feel elated and confused and happy and murderous all at once. Eren wanted to marry you; Eren loved you. He wants you for the rest of his life, and you’ve been too blind to see it this entire time.

Still, you think that maybe a verbal proposal might have helped to open your eyes a bit.

“Mitchell, I have to—”

You’re cut off by the echo of your name coming from the opposite end of the street, and you can just barely make out of Eren’s figure in the faded lights of the street lamps. His name falls from your lips like a whisper, and you hardly register Mitchell’s amused, soft laughter from beside you.

“I think that’s my cue,” he says, patting you on the shoulder, “I better get back to Carla. Something tells me you two have a bit to talk about.”

You can barely nod at him, eye still wide and stunned, but a smile on your face even in your fearful anticipation. You don’t have time to thank him before he turns away, bidding you goodnight; and then you have something else to focus on, as Eren’s footsteps grow louder, and his silhouette grows sharper the closer he gets to you.

He practically crashes into you, chest heaving, hair wind-swept and wild from his running. He puts his hands on your shoulders, to steady himself physically and mentally, labored breaths ghosting over the top of your head.

“Hi,” he finally squeaks; and that stupid, big, dopey grin is on his face.

It’s ridiculous, so utterly ridiculous that you can’t help but greet him back. The two of you stand there, smiling like fools for god knows how long, before the realization strikes you for a second time.

Eren opens his mouth to finally speak, but a pained squeal leaves his lips instead as he feels the back of your hand slap his chest. “Ouch—hey, what was that for!”

“What the hell do you think you were doing proposing to me without telling me?” you screech, packing another punch to his chest for good measure, but it’s a poor barrier and does nothing to stop your tears from falling, “You’re an idiot, I should kill you for this, you know that, Eren Jaeger?”

Eren laughs softly, only to be heard by you in close proximity. He takes your offending hand in his, and reaches for your other, pulling both of them between your bodies. He can feel tears welling in his own eyes, as he looks down at the necklace, glimmering perfectly under the moonlight.  

“In my defense, the first thing you told me to do when I gave it to you was to return it.”

“I might not have said that if you told me what it meant,” you can hardly choke out a laugh through your tears; and Eren can’t stop his from falling either, “It’s insane, you know. This whole thing—to ask me to marry you at 19. For me to not realize until we’re 21.”

“I know,” Eren agrees, inching closer even though there’s barely any room between you, “I know. But I know I love you, every version of you. I always have, I always will.”

You close your eyes as Eren’s hands move to your face, gingerly sweeping your tears away from your cheeks. He feels too close, it feels like too much; but you don’t want him to move.

“You know... if you had asked me, then,” you start, blinking your eyes open with a sniffle; you’re met with Eren’s emerald greens one with far too much hope and love glimmering in them, “I—I don’t even know what I would have said.”

“And if I asked you now?”

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, slowly raising your hands to wrap around Eren’s wrist, and lower them to your neck, before looking at him again, “Ask me.”

Eren blinks, carefully trailing his hands up and around your neck, nimble fingers undoing the clasp of your necklace. He hardly lets the chain pool into his hand before it’s tossed aside, and the ring is still between his thumbs and index fingers as he lowers himself on to one knee.

“You are the love of my life, and there’s not a single version of life—a single version of you, or me—where I don’t want to be with you forever,” Eren says, “And you know how shit I am with my words, but I fucking mean it. I swear to you, that I’ll do my best every day to show you how much you mean to me; marry me, and I’ll prove it to you, I swear, I will.”  

Your lips are wobbling at Eren’s confession below you, and you can just barely beckon him upwards in your state. He’s hardly back on two feet before you’re pulling him against you, ghosting the word “yes” on his lips before you kiss him.

You both melt into the kiss, Eren’s hands skillfully cupping your cheeks, while he keeps the ring in his hold and bruises your lips together.

“You don’t have to prove it to me, Eren,” you assure him, hand shaking when you pull apart and let him slip the ring onto your finger—where it belongs, “You already have.”

For his first birthday as a married man, Eren requested something intimate. He wanted just a small celebration with all of your mutual friends, some good food, alcohol, and lots of fun.

Supposedly simple and intimate for him entailed renting out the top floor of the Whitney, which was currently encasing an exhibit portraying some kind of abstract modern art that allowed for a very drunk Eren and Armin have to entertain themselves by trying their best to recreate the paintings using very flawed couples aerial yoga.

The art, paired with the dimmed lighting, Jean’s choice selection of overtly sexual music, and Eren’s pick of overpriced champagne also meant that Marco, Bertholdt, Connie, and Sasha found everything ten times funnier than they were—which meant they were a million times louder than usual.

Jean stands next to you by the bar, watching as Eren attempts to hold Armin above his head by holding on to just his waist. They’re unsuccessful, of course, resulting in both boys toppling onto the ground as the majority of their older friends laugh along.

“Lucky me, I get to take him home at the end of the night,” you drawl, turning to the bartender to order another drink.

She smiles, easily preparing your martini and sliding it you with an inquiry. “That’s your boyfriend? The tall one with the brown hair?”

“No,” you sigh, eyes closed for a moment before taking the glass between your fingers. “That’s my husband, unfortunately.”

× even more notes: this fic. is my baby. it’s been a draft of mine for over two years at this point. it’s gone through various fandoms but i’ve never quite been able to complete and post it, so i’m very happy that it’s finally here! i hope you all enjoyed, and i just wanted to say that i’m glad to finally have been able to share this with you all!

[vquacki]

It's My Fatherly Duties!

It's My Fatherly Duties!

Short DAD Scenarios 

Characters: BONTEN - Rindou Haitani, Ran Haitani, Sanzu Haruchiyo

~ Inui Seishu, Kokonoi Hajime, Izana Kurokawa, 

~ Souya Kawata (Angry), Nahoya Kawata (Smiley)

Warning ⚠︎︎ : Mature content, cussing, MINORS DNI

Note : requested, I added some characters. Hope ya don’t mind! These are pretty short, just little things I put together. Word barf kinda..? Anyways- I hope you enjoy :))

R I N D O U 

His lashes fluttered open when he heard a loud crash coming from the hallway, along with a string of cuss words sounding like his daughter's voice. 

“What the hell was that?” You groaned, not a single word was uttered from your husband when he sprung out of bed, bolting to the bedroom down the corridor.

“Tohru?!” Rindou yelled, flinging open the door. Revealing your teenage daughter fully dressed, half way through her second story window. A facade of pillows under her blanket seeminging meant to be her ‘sleeping body’.

“Oh dad, I-”

“What the hell are you doing” The man was fuming by the ears, pajamas ruffled when he jolted out of his slumber. 

“Is Tohru okay?” You peeked from behind the broad shouldered man. 

“I was just going to get fresh air!” Your daughter lied, making up a somewhat excuse to appease her angered father. 

“Hey Tohru! Hurry up and get down here!” You heard a boy's voice call out, looking over at Rindou’s face to see the man's darkened expression.

“Who the fuck is down there? Is that a boy?!” He growled, stomping his feet over to the glass. Pushing past his daughter to take a look. 

“Oh shit- her dads here. Let’s book it!” The kids whispered, but loud enough for Rindou to make out, hastily running down the dark street. 

“You little shits! Don't you dare come back here!” Rindou growled, slamming the window shut in the process. 

“What! Dad!” Tohru whined, 

“You're so grounded young lady!” Rindou shouted, not caring for the sleeping neighbors beside his shared condo at three in the morning. 

“Rin, she was just having some fun!” You defended, you were also like her when you were her age, trouble makers run in your blood. Actually Rindou couldn't even talk- he was running roppongi at her age.  

“No! She's just too young to be hanging out with boys!” Rindou’s brows joined together as he withered in front of you. 

“But we dated when we were her age-” You deadpanned at him, 

“Grounded! My final answer!” 

R A N  

Ran was coming home from a late night bonten meeting, mouth agape when he saw his daughter’s feet dangling out from her window. 

Fearing the worst he sprinted to the ground below his child, hands outstretched to catch her if she were to misstep. 

“Mitsuri!” His voice boomed,

“Eh? Dad?!” His daughter stuttered, slowly slid out the window, climbing down like she had done this many times prior to this awkward occurrence. 

Toes easily touching the grass with ease, not a scratch upon the females porcelain skin. 

“Ran?” You yawned, cracking the door ajar. It was late, you waking up to your husband's screams outside your house. 

“Mitsuri, what are you doing climbing out your window like a maniac?!” Ran scowled, hands running through his messed up hair. Sweat dripping down his temple from the not so pleasant adrenaline rush. 

“I was just gonna hang out with some friends..” your daughter answered, fingers gripping the edge of her shirt, scarily waiting for her dad’s reaction. 

“At this time of night? .. out your window?”

“Ye-”

“Phone privileges. Give me it.” Ran demanded, palm stretched out. 

“But-” no question she was a tad bit spoiled by her father. You being the bad cop, while your husband played the good cop for his beloved daughter. 

“If you want to go anywhere all you got to do is ask!” Ran plucked the phone from his daughter's hand, a wave of relief washing over him. Secretly thanking whatever being watching over him that it wasn't some sort of gang related subject. 

“This is what you get for spoiling her!” You laughed from the sidelines, hand clutching your stomach.

“This is your fault too ya know!” Ran argued. 

“I’m the one who tries to discipline her! But someone always lets it go!” You emphasized the special somebody. 

“Whatever” Ran sighed, This was a lesson for the usual carefree man, a special lesson he wouldn't forget in the many years to come with his unborn future children. 

S A N Z U 

It was Sanzu’s best day of his life when his daughters were born, the two only being about one year apart. They were spoiled to the core, anything they wanted their money liberl father blessed them with. He thought they were the sweetest things ever, them both being a daddy's girl after all. 

He never would have expected to see both of his daughters outside his humble abode, standing beside two boys, most likely a double date. 

He stared in shock, hands pressed firmly against the glass, teeth gritting. 

“Huh? I tucked them into bed an hour ago” You rubbed your eyes, riding yourself of the sleepiness threatening to drown you. The pink haired only tutted his teeth, swifty twisting the door knob to confront the four children outside. 

“Oh you better run” your oldest daughter whispered, gesturing for the boys to make haste from her deadly father. 

“You better not come back here, unless you want trouble you fuckers!” Sanzu yelled, red in the eyes from anger. Not bothering to chase after the two scoundrels. 

“Dad, mom! What are you guys doing awake?” Your youngest asked, sheer panic in her eyes, watching her insane fathers unpleasant smile. 

“I swear you two will be the death of me” Sanzu uttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. A irked gleen in his orbs as he stared them down. 

“They were just friends dad, stop overreacting” the older daughter said, 

“I- You little shi-” He bit his lip to suppress his anger fueled words, knowing well it would definitely hurt his precious children's feelings. Having regretted it later if he were to say those sinful words. 

“Now now Sanzu, let's head to bed” You wrapped your arms around your lover, dragging him inside the house. 

“You can sort out their punishment tomorrow, after a good night's sleep” , coating him with reassuring words. That day he learned how misjudged he was of his children, even so he still loved them with all his heart.

I Z A N A 

Izana had his feet kicked up, relaxing in his office while he watched the moon. He had a clear view, the street lamps positioned next to the sidewalk, the side of his beautiful house facing his office window. He was enjoying his free time, mind taking over his body while he thought about his life choices. He was in ease until he saw his son's window light up, a long string of rope being tossed out the opening. 

Sitting up from his chair, he rushed over to his clear casement. Throwing his window open, a boy and girl standing beneath his son's window. The two holding the rope still as your child tried to slid down. 

“My my Yuki, where are you off to?” Izana laughed, nerves finally relaxing when he figured out what was going on. Calmly settling into the frame, head leaning on his chin. It wasn't like he had the right to be upset, he did much worse when he was his son's age. Robbing, fighting, killing. You name it, Izana’s done it. 

Sneaking out was nothing compared to what he did, but he wasn't gonna just let his son go. He was more wise now, he knew for a fact he didn't want his son to end up anything like him. Sure, he wanted the boy to have fun, but in a normal kid way. 

“Dad! Um- I”

“You better get your arse back up that window before I drag you around with that rope” Izana smiled, Totally different from the sentence he was portraying. Not forgetting his manners, giving a nonchalant wave to the other two kids. 

“Zana? Who are you talking to?” You asked, placing a cup of tea you had prepared for Izana on his desk. 

“Oh no one doll” Izana answered, closing the window before walking over to you. 

“Let's go to bed, yeah?” He proposed, trailing his hands around your shoulders, guiding you to the door.

“But the tea I made”

“Im tired~” 

Overall the male wouldn't want to talk further about the situation, nor would he discuss it with you. Trivial matters held no place between you both, as long as the child did not dare do it again. 

I N U I 

Inui wiped the sweat dripping from his forehead, the AC wasnt working at the motor shop. Him, draken and yourself were sweating bullets, the hot material around you not helping. You had decided to help the pair around the shop, cleaning what you could. Or helping with cashing every customer out, it would've been an easy task if it wasn't blazing hot. 

Leaving your daughter home alone, obviously thinking she’d stay and do her teenage things. You couldn't be more mistaken, astounded as you watched her fiddle around with a boy across the street at the ice cream parlor. 

“Y/N please don't tell me that Kagura..” Inui’s jaw dropped, the wrench that was once in his clasp dropping to the ground. Startling the concentrating Draken that was crouched over a motorbike. 

“What's wrong Inui? Y/N” Draken twisted his body around, raising a brow when you two just started muttering to each other like two creeps. 

“Is that... a boy” Inui held his chin between his fingers, squinting to get a better view of his kid. 

“You trying to catch flies with your mouth Inui? Close your yap” You whispered, 

“Y/N! She's too young, I feel like I just held her in my arms not too long ago. She can't get married just yet!” Inui argued, he would've been on the verge of tears if he didn't have a reputation to uphold. 

“What? The fuck are you on Inui? She's probably just with a friend!” You patted his back, reassuring the man. 

“Boys and girls can be friends ya’know” you added.

Cueing the two children across the road from you, feeding scoops of ice cream to each other.

“I don't think friends do that..” Inui looked over at you, eyes widening when you swung the motor shop’s door open. Hands coming around your mouth to amplify your words,

“Kagura, is that your boyfriend?” 

“WHAT?” Inui almost fainted, the ledge behind him holding his wobbly frame up right. 

“I didn't know you guys would be here!” Your daughter jogged across the street, leaving the boy sitting by himself. 

“And no! Just a friend” She answered your embarrassing, blushing as she stared down at the ground.,

“I sense some lies” you wiggled playfully at the flustered girl. 

“What! Anyways, Sorry I left the house without telling you” Kagura apologized, 

“Just don't do it again, without my permission..” Inui stated, 

“Especially not with a boy.”

K O K O N O I

Bribing people is his forte, and if they did not obliged? Threatening always did the trick. 

And that's exactly what he did when he saw his descendant out with a male. All was dandy until the boy came running back, babbling about how his girl was the so called ‘love of his life’.

“Hey brat, you got a death wish?” Kokonoi asked, leaning against the door frame. 

“Koko go easy on him, he’s just a kid” You nudged the man, a mischievous grin plastered on the males face. 

“And I kinda think it's cute” You said, a small smile erupting from your daughter that was not so far behind her parents. 

“I approve, kid! I like your romantic drive!” You clapped, 

“Y/N!” Kokonoi pouted, 

“You better not try to bribe him with money again” You threatened, waving a finger at the whiny man. 

“Yeah! I like him too, dad!” Your daughter agreed. 

“You're like twelve, go play chess or something” Kokonoi barked, crossing his arms in disapproval. 

“Dad, I'm sixteen!” 

“That's what I said” 

S O U Y A 

He almost had a panic attack at the sight, having to shield the man from the scene playing out. Your twin daughter saying their goodbyes to their dates, followed by a kiss. You removed your hand when the boys were no longer in view, riding off in their motorcycles. 

“Shira, Nihra” You held Souya up by the shoulder, the light headed male limping towards the worried kids.

“What's wrong with dad?” Nihra questioned, eyeing her ghostly pale father. 

“He's out of it” You giggled, 

“I'm not crazy am i?” He stood tall, letting go of the arm you had draped around him. 

“There was boys-” His voice cracked. 

“You saw that dad?” Shira sweat dropped, watching as her fathers should leave his body. 

“Next time ask before you go out” You smiled, you weren't too strict on the two. They were Souya’s children, earning most of their adorable traits from him. Even his fighting skills. 

“This better not happen again, i'm trusting you” Souya grumbled.

“Sorry pops” The two girls remorsefully sollied the man, both hooking onto one of Souya’s arms as they helped his shell into the house. 

N A H O Y A 

Nahoya was beyond pissed, infamous smile widening. Taking fast steps towards your daughter and her significant other. 

“Look boy, I don't know who you are. But my daughters not up for grabs” Nahoya grinned, cracking his fingers. 

“O-okay sir” the boy was jittering, body trembling from the males intense arua. 

“If I catch ya here again” he used his finger to slash his neck, motioning to the death that would happily greet the boy if they were to ever meet again.

“Yer dead meat kiddo”  Nahoya laughed, watching as the boy ran for his life. 

“Dad, that was really extra!” Your daughter sneered, a pout on her lips. 

“Shut up!, you're grounded rat!” Nahoya shouted. 

“Yeah Nahoya, there was no need to threaten the poor kid. He looked like he was gonna piss himself.” 

“Exactly the effect i wanted”

End Note : as I said this was a word barf T-T, so it’s quite short.

Reblogs & Notes are always appreciated! Take care! ♡︎♡︎

[saintlike78]

Hey love, u alright?

If have no problem here go one request; Marauders(without the rat) x Fem!Reader, the reader's first time in her subspace. How the boys know, and how they react (since this is the first time, and they probably don't know how to bring her back)

By; Cora🌈 (and my god, your writing it's soooooo perfect, really i'm in love)

Come back for us [Poly Marauders]

A/N: Cora, thank you so much for your request! Loved the “minus the rat” hehe. Writing this I kinda figured out that I’m not that good at writing subspace, but I tried for you… I hope you like it.

Pairings: Poly Marauders x Fem! Reader

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: NSFW! 16+, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, oral (male receiving and giving), subspace, degradation, praise, aftercare, dom! Remus, dom! Sirius, switch! James, sub! reader, mention of cum, polyamorous relationship, use of swearwords. As always lmk if I missed anything.

NSFW starts right under the cut!

“Such a dumb little cockslut,” Sirius grunted out, hips rutting against yours at a brutal pace.

“Dumb cockslut,” you echoed, voice dreamy and breathy, moans spilling out from deep within you.

Your eyes were glazed over, and your mind felt fuzzy, you could only concentrate on one thing and that was being good for your three boys. The sound of skin slapping, James’ gags, and all of your moans were filling the room with a lewd soundtrack.

You were under Sirius and beside you Remus’ cock was buried deep within James’ mouth, chasing his high as he fucked into his mouth with no remorse.

“You like that, you filthy slut? Like me destroying that pretty little pussy?” Sirius’s hand was around your throat, squeezing slightly to gain your attention.

“Y-y-es,” you moaned, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Yes, what?” Remus said beside you, not letting you forget your manners.

“Ye-s, sir… pre-tty pus-sy,” your voice was slurred, your mind not really there.

Sirius chuckled, “Ya fucked dumb, pup? Where’s that pretty little mind gone?

Your eyes found his, your mouth open and whines met his ears. Your eyes were wide, and Sirius let out a pleasurable groan, “you look so pretty and innocent, baby, but what are you?”

“A du-mb cockslut,” you answered without thinking earning a nod of approval from the raven-haired boy above you.

His thrusts sped up at the sound of Remus finishing in James’ mouth and grunting out “swallow”, which James quickly complied to.

Sirius’ hips stuttered as he emptied his seed into you causing you to moan at the sinful feeling.

“There you go, pup, taking it all so well,” he praised, your heart swelled inside your chest, Sirius’ praise always making you swoon.

He slowly pulled out, earning a whine from you.

James raised his head from his position in front of Remus’ cock and moved to be between your legs instead. “Don’t worry, greedy girl, you won’t be empty for long.”

You whined again, “I’m not greedy… I’m a good girl.”

“Yeah? Then show us,” James said and flipped you over on your stomach, lifting you to be on your hands and knees.

He slowly entered you, giving you no time to adjust before he started snapping his hips at a brutal pace. He let out a loud groan at the feeling of your slick walls filled with Sirius’ cum.

Your arms were shaking and the weight on them caused them to give away causing you to fall into the soft mattress.

James grabbed ahold of your arms pulling you up so your back met his toned chest; he wrapped his arms around your front, keeping you in place. Your head automatically fell back to rest on his shoulder as whines and whimpers left your mouth. James cooed and brushed his thumb over your sensitive nipples, “tired, baby?”.

“No… keep going,” you didn’t want him to stop, you wanted to please him.

Remus moved to be in front of you, grabbing your face and connecting your lips in a heated kiss. His thumb swiping over your cheeks in a comforting manner as he breathed in all of your whimpers.

Sirius was beside you know, laying and enjoying the show, but because he hates feeling left out used his own thumb to swipe over your aching clit and rub fast circles on it. If James hadn’t been holding you and Remus hadn’t been in front of you, you would have toppled forward, but instead, you just jolted at the sensation and a long moan left your lips.

“You gonna cum, baby?” James asked, but already knowing the answer as your cunt was squeezing and contracting around him.

You whimpered and nodded, “yes, please, can I?”

Remus looked into your eyes and smiled adoringly at you, “of course you can since you’ve been such a good girl.”

“Yeah, go ahead and cum around Prongs’ cock like the little slut you are,” Sirius’ answer was a huge contrast to Remus’s, but they both carried the same message, and you didn’t waste any time doing as they said.

Your eyes rolled back, and your body shook at the overpowering feeling of your orgasm, your cunt contracting and pulsing around James. Your vision blurry and starry as you felt James’ hips stutter and still as he finished as well, his cum mixing with your own and Sirius’.

He let you catch your breath, kissing your neck lovingly before pulling out. You fell forward into Remus’ grasp, clinging to him.

“Did so good for us, bunny,” he softly spoke as he caressed your hair.

“One more.”

“huh? You want more?” Remus looked confused between James and Sirius, you had already been going at it for quite some time and were obviously exhausted.

“Wanna be good for you, I can go more,” you spoke, voice very slurred as if you were drunk.

“You did do good… were done, baby, we’re all tired… gotta clean you up now and go to bed,” James said, stroking your back.

You lifted your face to look at Remus, your eyes filled with tears, “no, I can go again, I promise… please, I want to be good for you,” you were repeating yourself and your three boys could feel themselves starting to panic at your disheveled state.

“We can’t go again, pup, we’re all done… we can go again tomorrow,” Sirius spoke softly.

“You don’t want me anymore?” tears leaked out of your eyes as you sobbed out the words.

Sirius cooed and grabbed your trembling body, holding you tightly against him as you cried. “Of course, we want you, pup… we’re just tired… I promise we’ll go again tomorrow.”

“But y-you don’t w-want me now,” you whimpered into his neck, your tears wetting and cooling Sirius’ skin.

“We always want you, our pretty baby… if we could we wouldn’t stop, but we gotta rest now so that we can go again and again and again,” James said with a slight laugh.

“’kay, sleep and then we go again? Then I’ll be a good girl?” You said hopefully, only focusing on the promise of going again.

“You’re always our good girl, but please just come back for us,” Remus said.

You giggled at his weird statement, “I’m right here, sir.”

“You don’t need to call us sir anymore, bunny, you know that” Remus was less confused about what was going on, having read about this type of headspace that could sometimes occur, but still equally as clueless as to how to get you out of it.

“But you’re sir,” you argued, not understanding what he was getting at.

“Not anymore, pup… It’s Remmy, Jamsie and Siri,” Sirius said still confused as to why you were acting like this.

You ‘humphed’ but didn’t argue and didn’t remove yourself from Sirius – it would be bad if you argued.

“Let’s go take a bath… would you like that, Bunny?” Remus rubbed your back and coached you out of Sirius’ grasp. You nodded and let him carry you to the bathroom, as you clung to him like a koala. He set you down on the bathroom counter your face contorting in discomfort as the cool counter touched your overused cunt.

Remus started to fill the large tub with warm water to soothe your aching muscles, but still had to explain to Sirius and James what was going on with you, so he quickly thought of an excuse.

“Oh, I forgot a clean towel for you… I’ll be right back okay, bun?” He looked at you and you just nodded with a quick ‘kay’.

He quickly left the bathroom and found his two boyfriends on Sirius’ bed, both wearing sweatpants and talking quietly amongst themselves, trying to decipher your weird mood.

Remus went to stand in front of them, gaining their attention. “I gotta be quick, but I read about this in that weird muggle sex book I found… she’s just feeling a little subby and fuzzy, so we need to be really gentle with her until she’s not anymore, but I don’t know how long that’ll take… the book was quite vague about it.”

Both James and Sirius nodded and looked at each other.

“Can’t she just sleep it away?” James asked hopefully.

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea… we need to make sure she’s completely back before we go to sleep,” Remus explained… worrying that you wouldn’t come back for a long time.

“I gotta go back to her,” Remus quickly said before grabbing a new towel for you and heading back into the bathroom.

“I’m back, bunny,” he said holding the towel up for you to see. The bathtub was completely filled, but the water was off.

“You took so long… so I turned the water off, but I sat right back down like when you left me,” you explained, hoping you wouldn’t get in trouble.

Remus placed the clean towel beside you and cupped your cheek with his large hand, “good job, bun… just had to tell James and Sirius something, but you’re such a good girl.”

The praise made you blush and lean into his touch.

He lifted you again and got into the tub with you. A long sigh left your lips as the warm water engulfed your body.

You laid against Remus’s chest, fatigue taking over your entire body as Remus washed it slowly.

James and Sirius made their way into the bathroom as well, sitting beside the bathtub on small stools they had acquired to keep you company when you were in the bath.

“Hi sirs,” you smiled, reaching your hand out for one of them to take.

James was the quickest, his quidditch skills showing as he grabbed ahold of your hand and kissing the top of it.

“Hi, baby… It’s just James now, my love,” he tried to again, but you just giggled and shook your head.

Sirius stood to get you a glass of water, hopefully clearing your head a tad.

“Here you go, be a good girl and drink up,” Sirius handed you the glass and you immediately complied, wanting to be good.

The water did clear your head a bit, but the fuzz was still swirling around and creating a static-like feel in your brain.

“So good, bunny… was that nice?” Remus gently took the glass from you and handed it back to Sirius, who put it on the bathroom counter.

“Mhmm, so nice… thank you, Siri,” you said closing your eyes and smiling, letting your head fall back against Remus again.

Sirius’s eyes widened and a smile took over his face at the use of his name. He shared a relieved look with the two other boys, glad that what they were doing was working.

The three boys sat and talked while you just smiled and relaxed, listening to them happily.

Finally, James clapped his hands together and stood to retrieve the towel Remus had gotten for you. “Okay, baby, let’s get you dried off.”

He opened the towel and Remus helped you stand and helped you out of the tub and into James’ embrace.

James dried you, whilst Sirius went to the bedroom to grab you a pair of panties and a shirt to sleep in.

Once dressed you still stood, walking over to Sirius and wrapping your arms around his torso. He quickly wrapped his arms around your body and gave it a squeeze, smiling happily and smugly at the two others who just rolled their eyes at him.

“How’re you feeling, pup,” Sirius whispered in your ear and kissing your temple.

“I’m okay, just tired,” you answered with a slightly suppressed yawn.

“Alright, let’s go to bed then,” he led you to the bedroom and towards his bed, but not forgetting to look over his shoulder to wink teasingly at your two other boyfriends because he shanghaied you into sleeping in his bed – you were just too tired to say anything about the situation.

He laid down first and waited for Remus and James to kiss you goodnight and also waiting for them to do the same to him.

Once they had, he opened the blanket for you and you happily crawled into Sirius’ warm embrace, snuggling close to him as he wrapped his arms around you.

“You feel okay… you’re not feeling fuzzy anymore, right?” Sirius whispered.

“Don’t feel fuzzy anymore, I’m okay Siri… sorry I was like that,” your voice was small and meek, feeling bad that you had acted like that.

“No need to apologize, pup… it was hot that you were so desperate for us,” he smirked and winked at you, causing you to roll your eyes.

“I love you,” you kissed his lips before closing your eyes.

“I love you too, beautiful girl.”

Tags: @dracosafety, @teenwolfbitches28, @justadreamyhufflepuff