#but considering akira went from 'i wanna go home;_;' to 'whats the way to make sure all of u are safe in the fight against the moon'

[flovverworks]

thought again how overwhelmingly lonely akira would become after everything while time does its healing. u go from having a twenty-something ppl around u at all times to being alone. no one to knock on ur door in the morning, no ppl going in & out, no chaos of sudden fights. even in the (more likely) case where akira forgets its like. this haunting feeling of having forgotten something u shouldnt have. guy who goes to every social gathering ever to have that chaotic energetic experience of having so many ppl around again

[honeydots]

200. “He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it.” ~~ This has some Vibes and I kinda like them so? I'd like 2 humbly request your take on this w/ shukita or akeshu if it's ok to ask for!! -- dorky-arsene (a sideblog)

“He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it”

Hello no I didn’t forget about these I am just slower than a little baby turtle!!!!! Anyway

Summary: Goro’s new job leads him to discover that dealing with both a crush and an idiot while flipping burgers is, unarguably, the worst turn his life could’ve taken.

cw: sexual themes (+p5r spoilers)

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(ao3 link)

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“Hello! Would you like to try our Big Bang Special Combo Shot-Straight-Through Promotional Meal for ‘Thy Father of Corruption 2: The Daughter of Rejection’ for ¥850?”

Goro wanted to quit. 

You need this job. You need this job. He’d repeat to himself each time a customer decided they were feeling peckish. You will have no money if you quit and then you will have no home and then you will drop out of college and then you will die. 

He’d left the police department after graduating. With his past plans of an 18-year life expectancy having slipped down the drain, he hardly had a reason to stay. High school had been an uphill battle with cases of murder and robbery breathing down his neck, and he’d hesitated to even make an attempt at trying to juggle his priorities in university. Dropping the detective gig meant dropping the media attention, too, which gave him breathing room he certainly knew he needed, but never really had. 

The problem was, after three years of fading out of fame and living off his savings, he realized this wouldn’t stretch as far as he’d predicted. He hadn’t accounted nearly enough for the expenses that came with the unwelcome enforcement of trying to live as a proper human being. His bank account was growing meager. If he wanted to keep living (which was arguable) in the way that he was (which he did) he’d need an income. Almost anything would do, as long as it would bend and break to his schedule. 

And, all things considered, he technically had connections here. And ever since… that, the pay had actually increased to a respectable amount. The management had rehired, retrained, and improved. It was fast food, but it was livable. Nothing shameful about being livable. 

And god fucking dammit he had already done three interviews with no hires and he needed food other than half-cooked ramen noodles and bread slices. 

“Can I get you anything else, sir?” 

That didn’t mean he didn’t loathe every minute.

It was bad enough that he had a job at Big Bang Burger. And, bad enough that he’d been desperate to get it. It was bad enough that he had to bring in his homework like some anguished used-to-be honors student now getting barely passing marks. And christ, it was bad enough each time a customer would walk in, a hamburger-shaped icepick would slam itself into his frontal lobe, forever ingraining the memory of his premeditated brain murder of the former CEO of this very restaurant. 

All of that, and he couldn’t stress this more, was bad enough. It was entirely shitty all around. Completely awful, and damming, and humbling, though he hated to admit it. He’d like to say it couldn’t get any worse. That this was the end of the line, get off the train before it turns around, don’t get stuck in the never ending cycle of beef patties and sesame seed buns. 

But, god, of all the coworkers. 

“Ya know,” said Sakamoto, leaning down on the front counter after their customer had left,  “I dunno if clenching your teeth like you’ve got peanut butter stuck in there counts as ‘service with a smile.’” 

Sakamoto Ryuji. The boy who had the opposite of a filter, and more like a megaphone spewing recordings of every profanity in the Japanese language. He, who had walked in on Goro’s second day and loudly declared, ‘I thought I smelled something, what’s this a-hole doing here?’ Really, who else could he tolerate spending eight-hour shifts with; greasy stoves, piss poor customers, and the ruthless scent of lysol on tile included?

Ah, right. Anyone else. 

Goro pressed his lips together. “Hm. Well you know, I was almost certain that elbows on the counter was a fireable offense.” 

Sakamoto snatched himself up in a second, elbows up high. He hung there and looked around the empty restaurant. 

He pouted. “Not cool, dude. That’s only when there’s customers.”

Goro raised his eyebrows. He was really just going to stand there? He looked like an idiot, or a chicken. A hybrid that, if anyone could pull off, would be him. He was making a great show of it, too. 

Sakamoto narrowed his eyes. “Unless you’re a snitch.” 

Goro spoke in his most syrupy sweet voice. “Are you implying then, that your job is in my hands? An entertaining thought, Sakamoto.” If it were only that simple to really get him fired. Unfortunately, their manager seemed to love his enthusiasm. Every moment he spent enthusiastically mopping floors and singing into the handle was a moment Goro could’ve been writing soliloquies of his growing and newfound hatred for Carly Rae Jepsen. 

Sakamoto folded his arms in a huff. “That’s what I’m talkin’ about, man! Look at that fake-ass smile.” He shook his head. “And I get customer service blows and stuff, but you use it for everything. Lighten up dude! Take a break.”

Sakamoto said things with such confidence, such surety. It made his teeth grind. 

“I’d prefer to keep my job,” Goro said, and gave him the sweet smile Sakamoto was arguing against. “Though, if you’d like to pay my rent for me, you’re more than welcome.” 

He acted like he hadn’t even heard him.“Maybe it’s ‘cause you’re so gloomy all the time, your face just doesn’t know how to work it. Look it, check me out.” Sakamoto pointed his thumb at himself and flashed a toothy smile. “Just like that! All natural, bro. It’s easy. Come on, you really try it this time.” 

Goro very clearly did not. He stared with his most obsolete and ‘stop-trying-to-have-a-conversation-with-me’ look he could muster. He’d communicate it telepathically, if given the chance. 

“That doesn’t look like trying to me,” Sakamoto said expectantly. 

Couldn’t they just sit in silence and wait for their fabrication of getting-along time when the next inevitable customer came in? “Perhaps, and please let me know if this is too complicated, I simply have no intention of trying, because I don’t believe there’s anything to fix.” 

“Nah, that’s not it,” replied Sakamoto, as if he was being thoughtful.

Another reason why he was completely obnoxious was because the longer they knew each other, the less that Goro’s flawless stone faced looks worked. Sakamoto kept spewing hot air. He’d gained some kind of tolerance, and it was tedious to work around. 

Sakamoto leaned back down, previous elbow warnings forgotten. “I bet you’re the kinda guy who’s super ticklish, so you act all boring so no one suspects it.”

“I’m not,” Goro snapped. 

“Quick reply there, buddy.” 

Goro didn’t answer to that. He didn’t owe it to him. This was pointless; why did Sakamoto find such pleasure in talking about pointless things? 

He slouched further down. “So it’s silent treatment now. You’re checking all the boxes over here.” He waved his finger through the air. “Check, n’ check, n’, check.” 

Goro was getting a headache. “I don’t want to talk about this.” 

“Betcha you’re super ticklish. And like, one of those cry-laughers.” 

“Sakamoto, did you hear what I just said.” 

He stretched up from his position on the counter. “Like if I poke you in the side, I bet it would make ya jump.” 

“Do not.” He could just try it. Goro would bend his finger back so far it’d break. He wondered if that would be a viable option to get him to stop talking sometime. 

“Didn’t say I was gonna.” He rested his arms behind his neck. “You’re just proving my point more, though.” 

Sakamoto was annoyingly stubborn at times. Once he found a niche with Goro, he’d hack his way in and grab on like a tick. Bother him like it was his last chance he’d ever get, as if they didn’t work shifts together four times a week. He was bound to get lyme disease at this rate.  

Goro felt like a very frustrated pair of tweezers.“Can we talk about anything else, please?”

Sakamoto went quiet. He was just looking at him now. Goro tensed up. Was he really going to try and poke him? He meant it, he’d break his hand. 

“Ya know, there is something I wanna talk to you about,” he said.

Goro did not like the sound of that. “Oh really.” He tried to sound like he was just told he was about to be given a lecture on the intricacies and details of lentil soup. Which, perhaps could be more interesting than whatever topic Sakamoto was about to pull out of his ass. 

Sakamoto sniffed. “Yup. It’s about Akira.” 

Oh, he really didn’t like where this was going. “Sakamoto, I—” 

“When’re ya gonna like, confess.” 

Goro visibly winced. Dammit. He knew he’d bring this up one day. He was absolutely infuriated Sakamoto knew about that, and he hadn’t even told him. He’d been making guesses and Goro had been just tired enough during his shift to let a hint of a sigh out, and Sakamoto had taken that to new heights. Another example of conversations being had that Goro would’ve just about died to get out of. 

Sakamoto was still staring at him. Didn’t he have anything better to do? Goro knew they didn’t at this good for nothing job, but what was so hard about just acting like you’re busy. You’re pretending then, at least, and that’s something. 

“Well, dude?” asked Sakamoto. 

Any conversation is better than that one.

Mother of fuck. 

“I…” Goro started, adjusting a piece of his hair, “I suppose I am a little ticklish.”

Sakamoto’s face lit up. “Dude, for real? Called it,” he said triumphantly. Had Goro not known him as well as he did, he’d think the divergence in conversation was a trick to get him to admit he was a bit… touchy. But he did know him, and he wasn’t one for games like that.

“Most people are, it shouldn’t be a surprise. It’s skin sensitivity, nothing more.” 

Sakamoto shrugged. “Still funny you admitted to it.” 

Sure. Very hilarious. Yet another fact Sakamoto now knows about him that he’d really have rather not shared under any circumstance. 

“Satisfied, now?” Goro asked, but it wasn’t really a question. He didn’t plan on expanding, this was embarrassing enough as it was. 

“Nope,” he replied, “cause that’s great and all, but I really gotta know the game plan.” He leaned in close to Goro, and he in turn leaned farther away.

“There’s no ‘game plan,’ Sakamoto. Please don’t get so close to me.” 

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.” He moved back, obviously not finished. “Come on, though, you gotta have something.” And back down on the counter he slouched. 

‘Something,’ he’d said. Yes, and that something was to keep his mouth shut and go about his life keeping each and every one of those mortifying feelings to himself. It was humiliating enough that Sakamoto knew. Telling Akira? He didn’t even want to imagine it. He’d rather face Okumura-san herself and ask her to buy one of their Shot-Straight-Through combo meals. 

“There’s nothing. And I don’t plan there to be anything. And, it’s not really much of your business, is it?” Goro could feel himself growing irritated. 

Sakamoto melted further into the counter. “I just don’t get why you’re not gonna ask him out if you like him. You might as well, man, it’ll be fine.” 

What simple ways of thinking. Do this, get that in return. Black and white, and right and wrong. Spill your fleeting moment of vulnerability and try not to think about the extensive hole of commitment you’re burying yourself in. One turn of phrase, one word, one misplaced breath to Akira would forever rupture the sorry excuse of acquaintanceship they’d been flip flopping through for the past three years. Akira was a blank slate and simultaneously the person he knew best. He knew him, but didn’t really, and he could never tell what he was thinking. Suddenly he was gambling again, and this time it came entirely unwelcome. Risks you face before death and risks that you’ll keep living through no matter the outcome tasted different. One was tangy and sweet and thrilling, the other was bitter  shit. Not to mention that Akira was too kind to him for his own good. He couldn’t even tell what was a lie. 

But, Sakamoto didn’t need to know all that. “You say that like there’s nothing to consider. As if I’ve never even given this thought. You do not belong in my head, Sakamoto. And I do not need to give you, an obvious outsider on the entire dilemma, any sort of justification for why I’m going to continue to abstain on something as trivial as a confession.” 

Sakamoto huffed at him. “What if I said that I gua-ran-tee he’s not gonna say no to you.”

Goro was already sick of this. What, had Sakamoto expected his heart to skip? His pulse to rise? That just the very thought of mutual feelings would send him into some flustered mess? Please. He told the tingling feeling going up through his legs and down his arms and up the back of his neck to shut the fuck up. 

He couldn’t stay quiet for long. Sakamoto could and would get ideas. “Then why doesn’t he just tell me that himself? Why are you playing wingman for him?” 

“Cause he’s not gonna say anything cause he’s got to be worried that he’s gonna freak you and your crazy attachment issues out!” 

Of course, there it was. The blind bet. Sakamoto’s one-way thinking at it again, and Goro would not have it. “I’m not going to start playing some game with him about the complexities of whatever idea of consent he has in his head. I don’t need his sympathy, and I am certainly not looking for it. I don’t have time for something messy and half-assed. I don’t want that, and surely he doesn’t, either. If he feels any way about me, he’d ought to tell me, because then maybe we’d find some kind of leeway. But I will not let him sit there and wait for me to make the first move, like a key element in his plan. This is not some teenage romance, and I am not a caricature of his love life. He can wait patiently all he’d like, but I’m perfectly content as I am now.” 

Sakamoto seemed a little stunned. 

“Man, he’s just…” He trailed off. They sat in silence. 

So ways still existed to get Sakamoto to stop rambling on. He was sure he’d regret saying this later, for a multitude of reasons. He didn’t hate Sakamoto, even saying dislike felt strong, but he always talked about things that Goro had no interest nor inclination to discuss. Maybe silence was for the best between them, for now. 

“He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it. That’s all it is, dude,” said Sakamoto. 

Goro inhaled. So he wasn’t done, then. “Love… is an entirely different conversation.” 

“Okay, fine, you want me to say he ‘like-likes’ you like some fifth grader? Cause he does.” 

Goro didn’t reply. He’d made his point. 

“He isn’t playing one of your weirdo mind games,” Sakamoto continued. “I think you’re thinking too hard about this. He’s just a guy. He just wants to make sure you’re all comfortable and shit. Cause it’s not like we don’t all know the bullshit that was goin’ on for you.”

“I am not looking for his pity.” A fine thing to say while working at a Big Bang Burger in a bright yellow shirt and starred apron. It didn’t matter. He didn’t wear this with pride, per say, but he wouldn’t ask someone to feel sorry for him.

He didn’t exactly want to be seen, either. Especially not Akira, but of course he’d make habits of visiting. That was just like him, and it was just like his pity, too. 

Sakamoto looked frustrated. “He ain’t pitying you, man! He’s tryin’ to respect you! He knows you got things to go through on your own and he’s trying to give you space and everything.” 

Goro clicked his tongue. “If you know that’s his tactic, why are you trying to pressure me into this?” 

“Cause I don’t care, dude!” Sakamoto said, and then stopped himself, and promptly looked very guilty. “Well, okay. I do care. Like, I do. But sometimes…” He looked like he was trying to pick his words out carefully. He had an idea, just no way to form it.

He settled. “Sometimes, you just gotta get laid, man.” 

At this point, Goro found himself shocked that he wasn’t banging his own head against the counter. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You’re twenty one years old! Dude, I know you haven’t gotten any,” Sakamoto argued. “Your gay ass with emotional problems? Get outta here.” 

“This is not—”  

Sakamoto put his hands up nonshalontly. “And like, yeah, no judgey stuff, take your time if you gotta. But have you considered it? Tell me. I betcha you haven’t.”

Goro opened his mouth, expecting to reply with an incredibly well thought out ‘fuck off,’ but the automatic doors slid open, and suddenly Goro was all smiles and greetings, so what came out instead was, “Hello! Welcome to Big Bang Burger! Would you—ah.” 

Sakamoto snorted loudly, and Goro wanted to kick him so bad. 

And actually, what was stopping him? Sakamoto had earned this, and it’s not like this customer would care. 

Because, who else could’ve been just about summoned by the trouble than Kurusu Akira himself; strolling in so casually through the doors, like he hadn’t just become the most unpleasant topic of conversation Goro had ever had with Sakamoto. Speak of the devil was an understatement, or perhaps he was the devil himself. 

“What the eff, man!” 

“Hey you two,” said Akira, hands in his pockets and clearly bagless. He didn’t even register Goro’s kick, like that was just some normal occurrence. Somehow, that made him angrier. 

“Yo,” said Sakamoto, recovering annoyingly quickly. Goro wondered if he should’ve considered breaking his finger. 

Sakamoto reached out to Akira for a fist bump. “You don’t have the cat with ya?” 

Akira bumped him back. “Nope. Just me today.” 

“Sweet,”  Sakamoto replied, a smile growing wide. Goro hated the look. It was the hungriest and most dastardly shit-eating grin he’d ever seen him dare to make. So, knowing Sakamoto and his terrible poker face, he had thought up some idiotic ploy. 

“What’s up with you?” Akira asked, and thank god it wasn’t directed at Goro. Sakamoto’s obviousness did not go unnoticed. 

“Oh nothin’, nothin’,” said Sakamoto, entirely conspicuously, “I gotta go, though, grind never stops. Super secret stuff in the back.” 

Goro glared at him. So now he would pretend to be busy? 

“Burger secrets,” Akira said, and Ryuji gave him a finger gun in reply. He walked off without a word, but apparently felt the inclination to jerk his head back at Goro, as if he didn’t know what he was doing. 

He sighed. No amount of alone time would ever compel Goro to confess at a Big Bang Burger, of all places. At least Akira tended to be a little more bearable in conversation. He hoped he’d be an in and out customer. “Can I get you anything?” 

Akira looked at him for a moment. “You look flustered.” 

Goro felt himself twitch. He wasn’t flustered, like some preteen who can’t hear the word genital without bursting into laughter. If anything, Sakamoto had caught him off guard with his stupidity. He obviously was not one to be so affected by such a topic. He was an adult, and a professional. He would again not think about the fact he was wearing an orange visor right now. 

“I’m positive that isn’t a menu item,” he replied, keeping his pleasant smile plastered on, keeping any stray annoyance from showing. 

Akira examined him closer. “Do you have a fever or something? You look red.”

Goro drummed his fingers against the counter impatiently. What was he supposed to say? Sorry, Akira, Sakamoto just decided to kindly push the image of you railing me as a form of twisted therapy into the forefront of my consciousness. Would you like any drinks?

“I’m fine. I’m not the type to go to work sick,” he decided on instead. 

“Really?” He didn’t seem convinced. 

Goro folded his arms. “While living in a society where health is determined by the trust of the majority, I have no plans to spread my germs to an unsuspecting businessman, in that I expect the same from him.”

Akira considered that for a moment. “So you’re embarrassed, then.” 

Goro’s expression turned sour. He was not in the mood for a debate. “Everyone seems to be presuming things today, have I missed a memo?” 

Akira didn’t miss a beat. “Ryuji said something?” 

Goro dragged his fingernails into his palm. He was hardly being that obvious, he wasn’t a bumbling idiot who couldn’t keep a straight face. Akira was just acutely good at reading people, (namely, reading him) and it drove Goro up the wall. It was unfair, for one thing, since Akira continued to maintain blank expressions in the face of clowns and hookers, keeping his inner thoughts kept behind lock and key. And, as of more recently, he was the one person Goro really desperately wanted to hide every wandering emotion from possible. Just his luck, fall for the bastard who analyzes people as a side job for his savior-complex living. 

This was making him more frustrated. “Would you just order?” 

Akira looked at the menu, but Goro knew it was bullshit. He ordered the same thing every time— a shake and a burger, no tomatoes. He certainly already knew what he wanted, but was just causing trouble in the meantime. What an annoyance. Goro punched it in, and made no moves to go and cook. If Sakamoto was going to have his “business” in the back, then he could stay there and do his job. 

“Sit over there, we’ll bring it to you when it’s done,” he said, and Akira silently obliged. He gave a small smile before he turned, leaving Goro completely alone with his thoughts as he sat at his table and scrolled through his phone. 

He couldn’t believe the timing of Sakamoto’s distasteful comment to Akira’s unseasonable entrance. Things always seemed to fall into place with Goro, just not the right places. The right place, but a little down, and to the left, the left, he said. He wished Sakamoto would mind his own business, let him quietly pine until his untimely death; which kept getting put off, might he add. 

Sakamoto emerged from the back end of the restaurant. He was holding the bag of presumably Akira’s food, and his shake. He waved them enthusiastically. 

“Go on, dude,” he smirked. 

Goro was blunt. “No.” He’d pissed him off enough today. He wasn’t going to walk over there and serve the food. Sakamoto’s little idea of love, romance and marriage in a burger joint would have to wait. Ideally, it would get itself stuck in wet concrete, and drown way down under where no one could see it and where the light of day would never reach. 

Sakamoto seemed to catch his drift. “Jeez, fine. Huffy, huffy.” 

He walked over to Akira with a spring in his step, and they started chatting idly. Goro couldn’t hear. In all honesty, he was trying to tune them out. His headache was growing worse. Pounding in his head, every light too bright and repetitive music blurring together his thoughts. And of course there was the elephant in the room, who was whispering to him Sakamoto’s crude suggestions, and the irritating notion that maybe he was right, just a little bit.

He needed to get himself together. He was acting like some horny teenager. Get fucked, you raunchy elephant. 

Sakamoto left to let him eat, and made a show of going back to the other end of the restaurant, all while wiggling his eyebrows at Goro. In turn, Goro made a show of rolling his eyes and planting himself facing away from Akira. It made Sakamoto laugh, for whatever reason, and Goro just ignored him. 

He watched the door idly and tried to relax. He’d been clenching his teeth, and his jaw ached. He tried to focus to get his headache to fade into obscurity. He couldn’t find much to concentrate on, was his issue. Other than the obvious, which he would ignore without remorse. He wanted to go home. No lights too bright there, no sloppily cleaned windows, and especially no crush (the word left a bad taste in his mouth. Boy who has left him emotionally compromised after giving him no reason to deny he had worth in the world and keeps him up at night thinking about the way he really tried to will him back into existence when he could, god, have anything else in the world, and he wanted him. Was that a better option?) sitting out of view, chewing quietly and doing absolutely nothing to draw so much attention to himself.  At home he could drown it all out in a cold bath, and let himself think of nothing but his numbing toes and pruning fingers. 

“Hey, catch,” Akira said, suddenly there and startling Goro out of his bathlike daydream. He tossed something onto the counter. Goro did not catch it. 

It was a napkin, all folded up in a careful way. It didn’t hold the shape well, but the intention was pretty clear. “Um. A crane?” 

“Yup. Present for you.” he started, rubbing his neck, and he had the nerve to look bashful. “I got bored.”

Goro hadn’t noticed him making it. Which, alright, did make sense, he was purposefully keeping his neck away from that entire half of the restaurant. “Sorry we aren’t quite the height of entertainment here.” Goro lightly touched its head. He didn’t know Akira knew how to make these. “Well, thank you, I guess.”

Akira pushed his glasses further up his nose. “You’re welcome to name him.”

“I think that I won’t.”

“That can be pretty trendy, too,” he replied. “I’ve gotta go. Class. Tell Ryuji I say bye.” 

“Bye, dude!” Sakamoto shouted from the back. There was that tiresome enthusiasm again. 

It made Akira smile.“Nevermind, then. See you.” 

Goro just barely lifted his hand by the wrist to wave. “Bye.” 

Akira turned, gave him a small trill of his fingers, and left. Sakamoto did not return to his exit, and Goro savored the moment. It was just him and the crane, now. 

It was pretty shoddy. Unfolding, and barely standing up on its own. Cheap paper napkins were not the ideal material for origami, it seemed. He watched it slowly fall apart, wings losing shape and the head relaxing into its neck. Akira had hardly stayed long, so that meant he was probably pretty good at this sort of thing. He wouldn’t have guessed. 

…He thought about how it might look on proper paper. The creases sharp and crisp, the ends pointed and still. What would Akira’s hands look like while they worked? He could hear the sounds of the folding, and the wedging, clean paper being bent and rippled. Delicate fingers, working through, meticulously checking every last inch. Sometimes a pinch, just where it’s needed. And then finished, folded tight, wrapped together in itself. Very quick work, with the touch of a hand. 

“The heck is that?” Sakamoto said, getting an actual jump out of Goro. 

“What?” he gasped, and took a second to collect his thoughts. At work. Sakamoto came back. In a Big Bang Burger. Headache present. Good fucking god. “It’s just…” He pressed his fingers into the side of his temple “It’s a paper crane. Akira made it.” 

Sakamoto let that sink in.“You tellin me you were just sitting here staring at the thing Akira made you?” 

“I wasn’t,” Goro replied, trying desperately to catch his breath as casually as possible. 

“Uh, you literally were.” Sakamoto got uncomfortably close to him again. Goro physically moved away, because now was not the time. 

It didn’t deter Sakamoto whatsoever. He put his hands on his hips and gave an annoying grin. “Bro, you gotta tell him… You’ve obviously got it preeetty bad.” 

Goro was fed up with this. This conversation needed to end, or he thought he might explode. “I don’t ‘have it bad,’ Sakamoto, stop bringing this up.” 

Sakamoto smirked at him. “You so do though, is the thing.” 

“I don’t. Leave me alone.”

He shrugged his shoulders, and kept his mouth shut. He was acting so haughty, like he’d won the argument. Which, he hadn’t, for the record. 

That stupid crane. All it’d done was make things worse. And what was it even doing? Sitting here crumbling away into uselessly folded paper. A cheap napkin made of other recycled cheap napkins. Clean and crisp paper was a long sought after dream, a fantasy and nothing more. 

You know, this was just it, really. This is what he meant. Akira would try and fold him up and he’d inevitably fall back down. He didn’t know just what fantastic method he’d try, but it wouldn’t matter— he was made of what he was made of, and nothing would hold him up. Trying was pointless, risking for naught, it would be better for everyone if he stayed just how he was and didn’t overstay his use. 

He would not fit into Akira’s plans or his pities. He couldn’t. 

“…Bruh. What does that even mean.” 

Ah? “What?“ No. He had not said that out loud. Sakamoto did not just hear all that nonsense. 

Sakamoto was giving him a funny look. “You’re not a napkin, man.” 

God, shit. Shit shit shit. “I— I know that, this is just—“ The unpleasant feeling of blood rushing to his face was just as intolerable as it was unpreventable. 

“For real? Cause you sure sounded like you were calling yourself a napkin.” 

Absolutely unbelievable. How unruly was he that he’d just spouted all that like it was nothing? He couldn’t believe he had to explain himself now, but letting him get ideas was undeniably worse. “It’s supposed to be… symbolic, Sakamoto.” 

He could practically see the gears turning in his head. That wasn’t something difficult to understand, you dunce. Every second of this humiliating scene felt like a knife turning in his back. 

“Why does your brain work in such effed up ways. You gotta work on that,” Sakamoto said, not letting up his judgemental look.

He crossed his arms, trying to make his mortification appear like annoyance. “Don’t you start with me. As if you ever have something useful to say. At least I’m— I’m thinking, here.” 

That riled him up a bit. “I’m thinkin’! I almost flunked literature so maybe I’m not so good at this analysis stuff, but you know what? Hear me out.” Goro did not want to hear him out. He continued despite that. “I get it, you got your problems. But I really don’t think you callin’ yourself some shitty crane is fair, you know? Like, you’re a whole guy.”

He did not appreciate how genuine Sakamoto was acting. It was odd, and it felt awkward coming from him. He didn’t want to feel guilty for being rude to him earlier, either. Just another topic to bother him to sleep. 

Sakamoto went on. “Gahhh, it feels weird sayin’ this but like, you’re not a napkin, okay! And Akira doesn’t think so either. You’re more… complicated. Napkins don’t pay taxes or anything.” 

Ah, alright. So it was mostly bullshit. He could ease the guilt away in one fell swoop. 

Goro’s disinterest seemed to show itself well to Sakamoto. “Just, okay. Lemme get my thoughts here. You gotta like… be your own first step. I didn’t get my own shit sorted out until I actually tried to. And I’m not sayin it’s easy to do. But Imma tell you right now your first step is gonna be to stop thinking you’re a napkin or a bucket or a plate of green beans or whatever else you come up with. And I mean it, man.”

Goro knew he had things to say to that. He had thought out replies and phrases that Sakamoto would need more headspace to begin to understand. But none of them came to him. So he decided to stay threateningly quiet. 

It was well received. “Okay okay, you’re gettin’ mad, I can tell. I’m gonna take my break,” Sakamoto relented, and turned on his heel. “I ain’t really trying to tell ya what to do but give it a thinking about, alright? ‘Least for Akira’s sake,” he said over his shoulder, and left Goro almost more alone than before. 

It wasn’t even Akira’s sake Goro was worried about. Not in the way Sakamoto seemed to think. And he didn’t need to be told he wasn’t some inanimate object, he wasn’t that out of mind. 

Any sort of sensible argument would have to come to him after the fact, apparently. To tell him this wouldn’t be a “first step,” more like a hundredth. How many paces did crawling out of the hole he’d buried himself in count for? How many miles had he gone by now, barefoot and bleeding all the way. 

Such a stupid conversation. Needless, too, since for whatever reason his filter decided to leave him to fend for himself. Just another addition to this embarrassing excuse of a shift today. 

The paper crane sat still on the counter, though it hardly resembled one anymore. He almost felt bad. He had his typical pit in his stomach, but nothing exactly to pinpoint it on. Was he wallowing in that much self-loathing? 

Perhaps. 

Goro adamantly refused to have any more dramatic revelations at his part time job, so any introspections would have to come later. 

He put the crumpled crane in his pocket. It was certainly not going to be a crane once he took it out again, but he didn’t really know what else to do with it. Throwing it away felt wrong, to him. Though he wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to do with it when he got home. 

Akira hadn’t given this to him in hopes of causing some mental anguish. Or at least, he assumed so. Sakamoto had said he didn’t play mind games, but if not those, what was he doing? It felt better to know it was a game, in that way there was something about Akira’s mystery of a consciousness he could pry through. 

Was he reading into things? For sure. Reading too deeply into anything had been a talent of his for as long as he could remember. It had saved his life before, many times and in the most difficult of times. 

This crane wasn’t life threatening, but it felt like it was. Not in the thrilling way, but in the shitty way. 

His shift was over soon. Which reminded him, Sakamoto had surely already taken his break. He was a dip, but Goro preferred his own thoughts to any conversation they’d had today. And that was saying something, since getting out of his own head was a much needed relief that he’d take almost any chance he got. 

He was overthinking, and there was nothing he could do about it. He would continue to overthink until someone stole his brain and dunked it in acid. Where was the enjoyment otherwise? It was all he knew how to do. 

And even he didn’t overthink this— if Akira had given this to him in earnest and in playfulness, and if Sakamoto hadn’t been overtly pulling his leg through their shifts today. There wasn’t even anything remarkable about it. If there was a chance that maybe things were just okay, and getting better, and he wasn’t a living metaphor for a tissue. Oh just, say he invited him out for coffee, and Akira surprised him with a new little creation, less spur of the moment and made something almost sweet. He’d never drop his pride so low as to ask for a lesson, but if he did, maybe he could learn to make something, too. And maybe he wouldn’t hate every moment of it, and maybe he’d like getting so close, and maybe he’d appreciate the mistakes as much as the praises. 

…Hm.

That was just a fantasy, of course. And surely, nothing was all that great about it. Anything could go wrong in any number of ways, his own interventions just one category. 

Maybe it was the headache, or the dragging on shift, or the terrible lights, or the distant humming of his coworker, but Goro must’ve been caught off guard today. Because otherwise, why else would he have thought, not long and not convincingly, but still a thought as present as can be, that maybe, despite everything. 

It could be nice. Just for a little bit. Maybe that didn’t sound quite so bad. 

Not so bad at all. 

[izzythomps]

Have you seen ISAAC THOMPSON? IZZY is in HIS JUNIOR year. The MARINE BIOLOGY MAJOR is 21 years old & is a GEMINI. People say HE is GOOD-HUMORED, SELF-ASSERTIVE, AGGRESSIVE and LAZY. Rumors say they’re a member of KINCAID. I heard from the gossip blog that HE KNOCKED UP HIS STEPMOM AND SHE HAD TO GET AN ABORTION.

full name: isaac akira thompson

nicknames: izzy, thomps

birth date: may 24, 1999

pronouns: he/him

hometown: los angeles, ca

sexuality: pansexual

height: 5′11

eye color: brown

hair color: it changes often, but peach pink rn

build: slim

tattoos: a sunflower on his right thigh, a ghost on his left hand, a horseshoe on his right forearm, shark on his left thigh, all stick & pokes he gave himself/all small and doodly

piercings: ears

Style: big articles of clothing, all thrifted items, v skater type

favorite color: cerulean 

favorite food: popcorn

zodiac: gemini sun, aries moon, aries rising

mbti: ESFP

hogwarts house: gryffindor

alignment: chaotic neutral

slides in wearing fuzzy socks HEEEEEEEELLLLLOOOOOO EVERYONE i am here to terrorize u all with a new character xo u can all thank mia for this (or yell at her idk bc izzy’s kind of a hellion) bc she pressured me for like months to bring a dominic fc and here we r. anyway. let’s get into the chaotic mess that is isaac <3

THEN!!!

- izzy was born to contractor william thompson & art teacher jasmine reyes in late may of 1999, making him a gemini (sorry) who resided with his parents and sister in a predominantly middle-class neighborhood in los angeles, california

- growing up, isaac was extremely close to his mother and not so much his father. william tended to push very intense ideals of masculinity onto izzy who..... was v non-conforming even as a kid, considering he grew up w/ an older sister (angel) who constantly dressed him up in dresses, put makeup on him, painted his nails, etc. and izzy frankly liked all of that. he found fashion and makeup to be a fun way of self expression as a kid

- ultimately, izzy started to dress in a more “masculine” way but continued to paint his nails, starting to dye his hair colors like purple, pink, or create designs w/ flowers...... it was a form of art that he enjoyed and his mother encouraged it

- his dad tho....... the two always butted heads and did not get along, still don’t to this day but i’ll get into that more in a bit

- ANYWAY!!! jasmine (izzy’s mom) worked at a very VERY wealthy private school in beverly hills and while isaac def didn’t have good enough grades to get into that private school on a scholarship, luckily the administration paid for a majority of his middle thru (most of his) high school education

- so !!! basically part of the deal was that while his mom works @ school, he better become a fuego student to keep his scholarship and that’s what he did!! until, sadly, his mom got very sick w/ ovarian cancer an had to take a medical leave of absence from school

- this was a big time of ~conflict~ for the thompsons, izzy obviously included. bc izzy’s dad started sleeping w/ a woman whose home he was working on and it like.... wasn’t really kept under wraps. u could smell this woman’s perfume on him when he got home and it horrified izzy a LOT

- his mom begged him not to press it and he didn’t just for her sake but otherwise he wld’ve clocked that mf in the jaw

- anyway. junior yr of hs, everything went to shit. jasmine passed away, william quickly married the woman he was sleeping w/, angel (izzy’s sister) went away to college...

- fortunately, his high school allowed him the option to finish, but it came w/ one condition; he’d have to maintain an academic scholarship

- he started getting involved in the wrong crowd; drugs, drinking, partying, the like and his grades? slipping. so his life? a mess

- he even gave his dad a black eye once when he got home from a party at 3am

- the school threatened to kick him out and luckily his sister knocked some sense into him and was like “bro do this for mom if nothing else” and he did just that !!! cleaned up his act and graduated w/ a ~scholarship~ to yates i mean y’all know his essay was bomb as fuck 

- but anyway. eventually one night the summer before his freshman yr at yates, he ended up/ like confiding in his stepmom about everything? and he ended up finding great comfort in her? and..... one thing lead to another and he knocked her up (izzy was 18 at the time of the affair)

- the two came to the mutual decision that his stepmom get an abortion and they keep everything under wraps

- aaaaaaand lo and behold that woman n his father r still married and they have not spoken of anything x

- tbh christmas and thanksgiving are kinda awkward but it’s been made pretty clear that was a ..... one time thing djkhfdjk

NOW!!!!

- izzy still like. doesn’t speak to his father. doesn’t speak to his stepmom either. still very close w his sister tho

- still a BIG party animal (hence kincaid)

- good student tho bc he’s gotta maintain his scholarship 

- fucks around a lot yeah

ABOUT!!!!

- really loud. like intimidatingly loud. overall obnoxious frat bro energy but w/o being a frat bro

- a very loyal friend but wld be a terrible boyfriend like..... one of those guys u wouldn’t ever wanna date but is a really fun friend to have because he’ll always get u into some shit

- as said, a big party boy. he likes to go HAM but he doesn’t really mix himself up w/ drugs too much anymore? he still takes acid and does shrooms and other psychedelics but no coke or anything

- can play the guitar ! and the bongos lmao

- uses a blue skateboard w/ yellow wheels to get thru campus, named pablo after the backyardigan

- also izzy is FIERCELY protective, would probably hit someone w/o warning for hurting one of his friends

- very touchy when it comes to his mom as well, will probably scream at you if you ever made a cancer joke! like so much so that u wld cry. scary man sometimes

- he’s also still like..... very lazy by naturehdsjhfdj like he’s motivated bc he has to be but he does the bare minimum to keep his scholarship fam like he’s truly skating the surface

- overall tho a fun-loving guy w/ a mean streak!!

- and he fuckin loves the ocean & animals. hence marine bio

- growing up in cali by the beach sorta instilled that in him yeah

- had two fish named marco and polo who he loved more than life itself rip marco and polo

AESTHETIC !!!

- dyed hair. constantly. give me a plot where someone is constantly dyeing his hair.

- tbh reminds me of those alt skater boys on tiktok sorry bye

- but yeah thats what he dresses like

- constantly scraped elbows from wiping out bc he goes too fast on his board

OK YEA THATS ABOUT IT I THINK im sorry this is shit lmao but if u wanna plot or whatev like this n we can come up w fingz ok love u all bye sorry bye

[snowpeawritings]

Hi, long time lurker here requesting for the first time! Can I have scenarios (or headcanons if not possible) of Ren/Akira seriously trying to win back his S/O after borderline-cheating on her (with either Ann or Makoto)? If you could really play up the hurt/comfort factor, that would be great--I'm kind of a sucker for those. Thank you so much!

this got too long who o ps. consider it as thanks for keeping up with my super long hiatus!

Reader is female

CW (CONTENT WARNING): Swearing

12:00 PM: I’m here at LeBlanc, where are u?

12:30 PM: How long do u have to take to get ready? U must be worse than me lmao

12:53 PM: Srsly where tf r u

1:00 PM: Ur not even in ur room so what the shit akira

             Where are you????

1:38 PM: Oi

  Oi

 Oi

 Oi

 Oi

 Oi

 Oi

You started a call with 💍Darling♥️💍

← Oct 24 at 2:00 PM

Call ended at 2:32 PM

“Not even a seen…” You muttered to yourself as the call ended when you pressed the close button. Wait for as long as you could, it felt like your spam messages aren’t getting through to him. You placed your phone on the counter and sighed, leaning on the counter with your chin propped on your hands. The cafe droned away with only an elderly couple talking and the TV going on with the news.

You clutched your stomach when it was growling. You were supposed to meet with Akira and eat at a cute cafe that just opened in Akihabara but that was supposed to be two hours ago. Sojiro’s curry has never felt more appetizing than it was now.

Speaking of curry, the aroma of the trademark food was stronger than before. You looked down and blinked when you spotted a dish of freshly cooked curry together with a spoon that seemed to have your name engraved on it.

“You looked like you needed it.” A deep voice said in front of you. You looked up to see Sojiro leaning on the counter, a slight tilt on the corner of his lips that seemed like a tiny grin.

Letting a smile cross your face, you thanked the man as you picked up the spoon and dug on the curry. When the flavor hits your tongue, you let out a happy groan of approval when the spices meshed together beautifully in your mouth. For a moment, you forgot what you were even waiting for in Leblanc

“That hungry huh?” He said dryly, raising a brow. “I thought that young girls like you are conscious of eating too much?”

You covered your mouth before speaking. “Me and Akira were supposed to eat somewhere else for lunch so I thought I shouldn’t eat anything.”

With that in mind, you looked down at your almost finished plate, suddenly feeling sick. “Guess that went wrong, huh?”

It wasn’t that the idea of Akira ditching you made you squirm, it was the fact that this was repetitive. You understood that his school work was tiring, but it shouldn’t be so bad as to cancelling dates at the last second for three weeks?

This was too much for you to handle.

You didn’t even realize that Sojiro had his hand on your shoulder, a comforting action that you thanked the man for.

“Well, I know that I’m not much for good company,” He started, “but maybe I can help you feel less lonely.”

Feeling that he wouldn’t take no for an answer, you nodded and began to tell him about whatever topic you could come up with. As time goes on, Akira was the farthest on your mind as you were pleasantly surprised that Sojiro could keep up with you… not that you had any doubt that the old coot is stronger than you in some way.

Sojiro had bidden you goodbye as you exited the cafe. He would’ve walked with you to make sure you were safe but he had to keep the cafe in check despite being the night. He cleaned the plate of your curry (“Free of charge. Don’t wanna charge a lonely lady.”), the sound of water running on the dirty dishes was a calming noise to him as the stress of today’s work flown by. The TV continued on endlessly with the news, the hype of the Phantom Thieves, the sudden hate for the police, and whatever politics that left Sojiro a sour taste in his mouth. He counted the tasks in his head; after washing the dishes, he should turn off the TV and count the bills that he was slightly behind and then—

“Sojiro, I’m home.”

—He should buy some cat food since he doesn’t know why that boy kept the cat in his bag when he goes out. The kid himself walked in with Morgana not-so covertly hiding as he set his bag on the table and stretched his back. An audible crack followed with.

“So where have you been?” Sojiro asked him.

He wasn’t the type to ask him about how his day went but when he remembers your nearly crying face, he had to know.

Akira blinked, looking as though he as well find the question surprising. “I’ve been at my part-time job, the flower shop at the underground mall. Like a law-abiding citizen.”

The slight cheek at the end didn’t went unnoticed. Sojiro blames himself to show the kid his snark. “Check your phone.”

Akira wordlessly drew his phone from his pocket and raised his brow at the sudden influx of message notifications and a missed call. He unlocked his phone and tapped the messenger app. To his horror, he saw your messages and he winced at the different timestamps.

“Judging by that wince of yours, you didn’t even notice your phone going off.” Sojiro concluded, mouth turning into a frown each passing second. “Poor girl had to wait for hours just waiting for you to show up.”

From behind Akira, he heard Morgana seethed through his teeth. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Akira did was incredibly idiotic.

“I-I was too busy.” Akira excused quickly. “So I didn’t notice.”

Sojiro clicked his tongue, his patience wavering a little bit. “Like hell you do. You keep talking to her on the phone like it’s the end of the world the moment you let it go. There’s no way that you can miss her calls.”

Yells of his teammates flashed in his mind, the sounds of spells casting out was fresh as the bruises on his skin were beginning to burn. Akira turned his head away from Sojiro’s scrutinizing stare, feeling like he was back at the questioning room. He wasn’t ready for this.

“Well, whatever the hell you did, it made her upset.” Sojiro said, giving up when Akira wouldn’t give a direct answer. “Meet her in person, fix this goddamn relationship of yours and prove that you’re not just another punk.”

If it were any other time, Akira would’ve joked that Sojiro’s words were the most comforting ones that could ever come out of his mouth. But he bit his cheek and nodded, making a mental note to cancel all Phantom Thief meetings for the next week.

You looked at the ‘Seen at 8:52 PM’ and wondered if Akira might be having second thoughts about your relationship.

He didn’t even let you know what he thinks when he saw your onslaught of messages. Then again, maybe he didn’t because he gave you space (which worked… for a while until you lost sleep wondering why the hell did he only seen it). You did recall that he had a part-time job but you were pretty sure that job didn’t take that long.

Not unless he had another activity to go afterwards…

Eyes only focused on the screen, you didn’t notice a familiar figure right in front of your desk. Slim hands covered your own as black hair tickled your forehead.

“Hey.”

As much as comforting his voice could be, you didn’t want to even look at his slate eyes. You kept your head down but didn’t bother to remove his hands. He seemed to catch this, however, as he slowly pried your phone away and cupped your hands in his.

“Please, let me explain.”

He was persistent, a trait in which you both hated and loved. You were biased on his persistence that made him worm through your walls and eventually into your heart.

Letting out a sigh, you lifted your head to meet his eyes. Slate eyes that seemingly dripped with a million apologies. If this didn’t happened before, you would’ve apologized to him instead.

“This isn’t the first time, Kurusu.” You whispered. “You know that, don’t you?”

He sighed out through his nose. “I know and I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

“And you better not be wasting it this time.”

He winced, but regained his composure. “I know I messed up but I had a lot to go through and I forgot the time and then—”

Akira paused when he saw your scowl. “My reasons aren’t getting to you, are they?”

You raised your brow.

He sighed, standing up to his full height but still held a grasp on your hands. “Look, I would tell you about my reasons but… I really can’t.”

“Don’t you think that it’s a great time to tell them?” You said dryly.

His mouth suddenly went dry. “I—”

“Save it.” You spat, getting your hands back from him as you glared at his agape expression. “I can’t stop you from whatever it is you do, but you’d think to spare some time for your girlfriend after the first argument?”

Your little outburst garnered a bit of attention from the class so you covered your face with your hands and groaned. “Just please leave me alone.”

You didn’t hear him say anything else but you did hear footsteps slowly receding until they were gone. Letting your head fall down on your desk, you groaned out once more as you felt your eyes water.

If you can’t go to that cafe in Akihabara, then you might as well go their yourself.

The district was teeming with electronic media that it made your eyes hurt from the lights. Not only that, but there were so many cosplayers and anime fanatics that you had to steer clear from. But not matter what the distractions, you were going to eat there and it’s totally not that you were hungry for the cute animal-shaped food.

Spotting the pastel-colored building, you sped up your pace. Your stomach was already growling and the display of foods on the window is making it more prominent. The Rilakkuma-shaped omurice is enticing, but then again the Anpanman bread is super cute as well…

Before you could even decide, you spotted a familiar mop of black hair at the corner of your eye. You would’ve disregarded it but seeing the head of a black cat pop out of its bag was enough to send you reeling.

The person soon disappeared into the crowds. You debated for a while, thinking whether to follow the person or not but the one who was behind you was beginning to pester you on why you weren’t moving.

With a sigh, you ran away from the restaurant and followed the person. You apologized to every person you’ve bumped into, keeping the black-haired person in your sights. Huffing at how fast this person is going, you might as well be chasing Ryuji who removed his hair dye. Still, no one had black hair that curly.

Luckily you were beginning to walk into an open area; an electronics street that not a lot of people visited. Your head craned around for the person, hoping to see them once more for a good look.

Yet like magic, the person appeared in front of an electronics store, with a smaller woman standing next to him–

Oh.

Suddenly you weren’t feeling so good.

The image of Akira and Makoto together had crushed your insides.

Akira’s habit of staring down at his phone would probably worsen his eyesight.

The strings of messages he’d sent to you went completely unnoticed. Even when he went home after working in the airsoft shop, you didn’t even drop a seen. Maybe he really did screw it up this time.

Setting his bag down on his desk, Morgana leaped out from the bag and stretched his legs. The cat soon caught on with his leader’s attitude. “Is it your lady again?”

Akira took a cursory glance at his feline companion before looking back down at his phone. It didn’t take much for the cat to make a guess.

“I know that we’ve been busy with the whole Phantom Thieves but you know we’re already at a big risk if more people know about us.”

Akira scoffed, looking indignantly at the cat. “You didn’t say anything when Kawakami and Yoshida found out.”

Morgana winced at his words, knowing that among the non-Phantom Thief confidants he’s made already knew of his secrets. “Well… they’re different! They provide valuable assets for the team unlike her!”

“She’s valuable to me.” Akira cut him off. “She’s been there for me despite my records, despite getting the same backlash as I have.”

The phone stared back at him, the hint of his reflection showing his solemn expression. “She makes me happy.”

Morgana sighed through his nose. This was troubling his leader far more than he realized. If this continues on, it would eat Akira from the inside, thus making missions in the Metaverse absolute hell if their leader isn’t in the game.

Sometimes, he loathes being the only sane one in the group.

Before he could even utter his sentiments, a booming voice echoed from downstairs, a voice that both of them never heard being uttered from their caretaker.

“AKIRA!” Sojiro’s voice boomed. “Get your ass in here and start explaining!”

The teen turned to Morgana who had the same shocked expression on his face. Wordlessly, Akira stood up and went downstairs, Morgana following suite. When Akira went downstairs, he saw Sojiro leaning against the counter, a piece of something in his fist and his foot tapping impatiently. His face was twisted in a snarl which twisted even more when he saw Akira come downstairs.

He was afraid to ask but he was probably in shit’s creek already. “Is there something wrong, Sojiro?”

The man didn’t respond at first, letting his angered breathing permeate the room before stomping up to Akira and shoving the object at his chest.

“You’re in deep shit.” He said lowly. “I don’t what the hell were you thinking but you’ve messed up big time.”

He brushed off the pain blooming in his chest from Sojiro’s shove before looking down at the object. The pain soon blossomed into a weight that crushed his heart.

The promise ring that he’s given you was in his hands.

“So that’s it, huh?”

Makoto furrowed her brow when she saw her leader hung his head down. Not once in her life did she ever see the confident Joker look so depressed. His bloodshot eyes were a stark contrast against the bags under his eyes as his glasses were more smudged than ever. Even if she’d given him a cloth to wipe his glasses, she wonders if he didn’t try to remove them when he wiped his tears.

“If I had known this had come to this, I would’ve stopped asking you to come with me when we were checking on one of the students.”

He didn’t say anything, opting to bang his head against the table as he sighed. Maybe the school council room wasn’t best place to conduct a relationship counselling but it was better than anywhere else.

“I don’t know much about you and her, much less relationships in general but I feel guilty for making her leave you.” Makoto said to him. “I’m going to help you get back together with her. No matter what.”

Akira lifted his head and Makoto had to suppress a wince when he looked more miserable like that. “Thanks… I have a plan… and I need your help.”

Makoto Niijima changed in a few weeks and you don’t know whether you liked it or you envied it.

Somehow she grew more confident in the time of the Kaneshiro incident. She was more assertive, more outgoing, more open to helping her fellow students without backing down from her own sense of justice.

That type of confidence is something that you wanted to have. Maybe then Akira would’ve stayed with you.

Speaking of the student council president, you now stared back at the brunette as she warmly smiled.

“Sorry to bother you like this,” She said your name, “but is it okay if you would come to the student council room after school?”

You crossed your arms, not particularly liking where this is going. “For what reason, may I ask?”

She still kept her smile. “You’re not in trouble or anything. It’s just that there are a lot of victims of the Kaneshiro incident that left students in debt. I want to ask them whether they were affected or not so I can ensure that they would be alright.”

You can’t really deny that. A lot of your classmates were victims of the case and even when you pressed them, they would just brush you off. Maybe they didn’t want to involve you in their problems or that you were the girlfriend of Akira. Maybe both.

Letting out a sigh, you nodded at her. When she thanked you, you swore you saw her eyes crinkle with excitement.

Soon, the school bell rang as you packed up your things. Remembering that you had a meeting with Makoto, you begrudgingly went to the room. Maybe if you ditched the meeting, you wouldn’t sock her teeth in everytime the image of her and Akira together pops up in your mind but it just wouldn’t sit right by your morality.

Reaching at the doors, you slid them open and entered. “Niijima-senpai? I’m here.”

You looked around the room before your eyes landed on a figure you never wanted to see. Before you could escape, an audible click resounded behind you as you tried to move the now-locked doors.

“Sorry!” Makoto’s voice echoed behind them. “But it’s for yours and his own good!”

Akira now stood in front of you, his lips pursed into a thin line. He wasn’t looking like his usual, trickster self with his sunken face but your anger clouded that.

“What the shit, dude.” You spat, not even bothering to hide your annoyance.

Akira didn’t say anything. From the corner of your eye, you noticed that he had something in his hand but you didn’t say anything. Not until your anger subsides which will possibly never happen.

Before you could say anything else, he took your hands in his and held them close to his chest. “Whatever you saw, whatever people said to you, they don’t mean anything.”

Your eyes widened when his voice cracked at the end. His original bloodshot eyes were beginning to go redder with each tear rolling down. You never saw this side of him.

“Please…” He whimpered. “Don’t leave me, please. In my time here at Shojin, you were my source of happiness when life brought me down. You made me so happy that I never wanted to let you go…”

His body racked with sobs and soon you felt his tears hit on your face as he let out a pained gasp. You couldn’t even blink, fearing that he might really break down if you turned away from him.

Your back hit the door softly, letting Akira lean on your forehead before sinking down with each passing plea. He had his head on your chest when you felt your own tears forming. Akira didn’t seem to notice you crying, his knees giving away until he was kneeling in front of you, crying in your hands. You felt tears and snot on your hands but you were sure that you weren’t faring better.

“I l-love you t-too much…!” He rasped out, letting go of your hands and instead wrapped his arms around your waist, his head on your stomach. “Don’t leave m-me, please!”

At this point, your sobs were joining with his in the student council room. Without even thinking, you knelt down in front of him and hugged him back. The sight was messy and no one probably noticed Makoto leaving the door unlocked when she heard her leader’s cries.

Throughout the episode, the ring in Akira’s hand felt lighter when you forgave him.

[trenchcoatkitten]

So I’ve been reading Temperature of the Heart, and you’ve mentioned how you have the whole thing written already. Can you describe what that’s like? What’s your writing process? How long does it take for you to write everything start to finish? Do you plan it all out or just kind of wing it? How long do you sit in an idea before you start?? Sorry about all the questions, I’m just so curious >_

bro!!! are you sure i will scream about writing for days omg

first of all THANK YOU its so freaking cool that you came to ask your questions and that you like my writing, im still sort of getting used to my writing not just being garbage that i read in the dark at 2am and never share with anybody, and i am always excited to answer questions waaaah 

(THIS IS GOING TO BE LONG I APOLOGIZE IM PUTTING A READING BREAK IN CAUSE I WENT OFF BRO, IM THE WOOOOORST) 

my process is pretty weird, it’s kind of all over the place? I’m kind of a halfway planner halfway pantser. I have an idea and usually make some disjointed notes about character and the main idea, in my phone or maybe on a google doc, and then a pinterest board maybe? Something to get excited about, a visualization. I ALWAYS tell myself im going to make an outline first and then i ALWAYS just jump right into writing because I’m too excited/impatient to wait. give me words on a page. give me dialogue. 

Usually when I’m a little bit into the project, when i know that I’m not going to abandon it to the depths off where my WIPs go to die (rip like literally over 300 individual and unique works, this is NOT an exaggeration, you should see my document bank its gross) Ill say “ok fuck you sami its time to actually know where you’re going” and I’ll sit down and make the grossest outline you have EVER seen. like im talking, my outlines are littered with memes, me yelling at myself, actual stuff thats going to end up in the final project, and just general random garbage? its so gross. Ive literally only showed one of my outlines to one person ever (hi akira!) bc im super self conscious of them and hate the way that i write them. making an outline usually sucks up an entire day of writing. they’re pages and pages because some parts will be INCREDIBLY specific and other parts will be so vague you dont even know

From there, when im done with my garbage outline, (after going back through what I’ve written and fixing the shit that was just me going off like a psycho) I usually start writing in earnest. I’ll highlight the parts of the outline that I’ve done and I’ll go back and check it often to make sure im following through on my plans and the character arcs and such, making sure that everything ties in and such. This section is me like. every day getting home from work or whatever and sitting down at the computer and not moving until 2am, this is the section where i forget to eat and I dont sleep enough and i forget to drink water or take my vitamins and I do word sprints with myself and have days where I write 10 thousand words in one sitting. (very not healthy and also terrible i do NOT recommend) this is the section where I’ll handwrite anything i can in the back of classes and at rehearsals because im pouring out words.

during this section I go back and edit ENDLESSLY. i cannot write something and just let it be. I go back to the section I wrote the night before, I go back to the section I just wrote, i go back to the very beginning. I generally dont have to do 1st 2nd 3rd draft this way, but it is much more time consuming as Im just writing. i dont know if i reccommend this its a MESS

THeN once i finish writing the whole thing, i sit down and reread/edit the whole thing once through. this makes sure i have good flow, the paragraphs go together well, the prose feels right to me, timelines make sense. during this time i make ENDLESS paper notes with calendars, section notes, additions, drabbles, thoughts about my own shit. i have notebooks full of just garbage. im not kidding. full notebooks. 

Once I finish that read/edit through I’m usually happy. only once something is completely finished will I consider posting. I go back too much, I add shit, I can’t let go of shit, not until it’s done. While I’m posting - I go through the chapter I’m going to post with a fine tooth comb, try to catch any tiny little mistake, add words here and there, but never change anything large if I can help it. Then i format it on Ao3 (this is literal hell, fuck the HTML editor it wants me to die) and then post it. Deciding to post a chapter to actually hitting ‘post’ usually takes me 1-4 hours, depending on the length, the difficulty of formatting, and how many goddamn links i wanna put in the chapter notes cause im the worst~ (insert jean ralphio voice) 

~~~

LISTEN im probably super extra but I’ve been writing since I was in sixth grade (thats twelve years! time is an enigma and i hate it!) and so I have a bit of practice, i have a bit of experience and while I’m not the best me that I can be, I KNOW myself, and this is just what works best for me. 

As for timing - it depends on the length of the project and how motivated I am. It took me about a month to write Royal (~50k), just a little over a month to write All Might’s All Night Shop Stop (~75k), and just about two months to write Temperature of the Heart (~115k). I try to post every few days, because as a person I hate waiting and I don’t want to do that to my readers! 

~~~

As for the ‘how long do i sit on an idea before writing it’ it really depends. Some things I will receive inspiration or a sliver of an idea and start writing it in the next ten minutes, even if I have to stop working on something I’m already working on, because that was Brain Has Decided. Sometimes I will consider an idea for like. months before actually doing it. I’ve had the idea for FBoW (the newest thing im working on oops? have i told anybody about this NO cause that will make it REAL) since before I started Royal, which was like. Last november. But I just couldnt quite do it for some reason, and it wasn’t pressing. My brain is super broken, and a lot of times I get sick over ideas. I can’t sleep or eat until I’ve written, and I will repeat phrases to myself until i can get them out of my head by writing them down. (Sometimes this is something nice or poetic - “The golden hour lights up the whole world, wiggling its fingers into every nook and cranny, lighting up two people lounging on a bench-swing, someone leaned onto porch stairs with a mug of tea, the space between those walking down a dirt road, a couple of dogs laid out on the deck.” and other times its literally “Ranch Fiddlesticks.” I’m not kidding. i have a note in my phone that says ranch fiddlesticks because I was actually going to Die if i didnt write it down.)

I do wish my brain didn’t do this - but I guess it makes some fun art, doesn’t it? 

WOW OKAY THIS WAS SO LONG im so sorry jesus christ. SOrry i will ALWAYS go off about my process and what it’s like to write. Writing is so so important to me, I LOVE it with every tiny atom of my weak, alcohol-infused, overworked heart. Despite how scary it is sometimes I am very glad to be sharing my work with the world, seeing peoples’ reactions and hearing things about my words, hearing how this little picture in my mind has gone into yours. 

okay jfc im done now im so sorry. thank you again and again and again, a thousand times over, for reading my work and enjoying the worlds that i enjoy building. It makes me feel like I’m worth it. It makes me feel like I’m doing something good. 

ily :’)

[alo-piss-trancy]

Yusuke Alt Ending (P/5 omo Snippet #5)

(( This was going to be an alternate ending chapter for Piss is Prohibited on AO3 I wanted to post as a surprise, but I could never decide on the ending 😿 AU where Akira was too bladdershy to go in the alley. ))

"I-I, uh, don't guess we could bolt in and ask him really nicely?" Ann squeaked out, crossing her legs tightly.

Ryuji scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Are you kiddin'!?! He wants to sue us, we can't get within two feet of that door! Yusuke's still effin' pissed too-"

"Don't say that word, geez!" Ann moaned. "What's the closest place then?"

He was wracking his brain, but this place was kind of an out-of-the-way dump. That was Madarame's whole 'humble' thing, after all. They usually had to take a train or walk here, and it was a decent journey.

"I hate to say it, but, um, the station's kind of far..." he murmured, tightening the grip on his uniform pants. He was already about to burst, and the mere idea of a walk like that had his bladder throbbing more urgently. No, he really couldn't hold it for that long!

"Screw it, I'm findin' an alley or somethin', I can't walk that far!" Ryuji huffed, already storming down the road to scope out the area.

"Ryuji, there are still a few people that come around here! Like fans from the art show, o-or that reporter we saw a while back-"

"Do ya' wanna piss yourself?!?"

"No, b-but..." Ann whined, leaning her head back to stare at the sky. "I've been on magazines before… if a reporter saw me… I'm gonna try and think of something else. If you wanna go with him though, Akira, I'll be the lookout." she offered.

He pressed his thighs together more tightly, feeling the perspiration beginning to bead on his forehead. "I..." Oh, if only he could take the easy route and just go with Ryuji. "I can't."

"Huh? What do you mean 'you can't'?" She must have seen the look on his face though, because she shook her head. "Forget it, it doesn't matter. What's important is that we go before we totally burst..." she groaned, biting her lip. "Screw it, Madarame shouldn't be home yet with that art show going on. I'm asking Yusuke! Come on! Mona, make sure Ryuji doesn't get in trouble. We'll be back soon."

With that, Ann had grabbed his shoulder, tugging him along as she marched (well, more like staggered) over to the doorway. She pounded on the door immediately, hopping around and bringing her hands down to rub her thighs while she waited for a response. Within a few moments, the door had cracked open to reveal a familiar face. A face that clearly wasn't pleased with their arrival. 

"You again. Leave the premises now, or I shall be forced to call my mentor. Goodbye."

Ann shoved her foot into the opening before he could slam the door, leaning to grab the doorframe. "Wait wait wait! We aren't here because of any of that!" she gasped. "The station is really far away, and we were in the neighborhood, a-and, uh… Prettypleaseletususeyourbathroom?"

"What sort of ploy is this?"

"Kitagawa-kun, we need in ASAP! It's really really bad… Y-You, um, you wouldn't let a girl walk all the way to the train in wet pants, w-would you?" She tried batting her eyelashes, but it didn't quite have the desired effect when her face was stuck in a grimace. "I know what went down before was bad, but I know deep down you're a kind, forgiving soul, right?"

"Do you honestly expect me to believe this after all of your previous deceit? Isn't asking to use someone's restroom the oldest trick in the book?"

"Ann!" He hated that the word was such a high-pitched squeak, so different from his usual deeper murmur, but he really felt like he was going to lose it any second now, and it strained any sound he attempted to make. No amount of leg-crossing or crotch-squeezing was easing the burning sting as it ran to the edge of his urethra, and he'd already leaked twice in the time she'd been talking, a softball-sized wet patch rubbing against his hands. His face was absolutely on fire now, and if he didn't already know such an action would be pointless, he would have turned around and ran to try and use the alley anyways.

"Please, Kitagawa-kun, it's an emergency!!! I swear we'll leave right after, and we won't snoop or anything!"

Kitagawa stared at them for a moment more, the slight clench of his jaw the only indicator of emotion, but he finally sighed. "Very well, you may both enter to use the facilities. You are not to explore anywhere else, is that clear?"

"Crystal!" Ann gasped out, already squeezing through the doorway as the man stepped back to let them through.

"I'm afraid there is only one restroom, located once you take a left at the end of this hall. The other one of you will have to wait in here until the first returns. I will be keeping an eye on you to ensure no one wanders."

Shit. Only one?

He could see Ann's grateful smile drop, her eyes clouding with hesitation as she squirmed in place, tightening the grip on the jacket she was tugging over her crotch. "Oh, uh… Akira, d-do you wanna-"

"Go on."

"Are you sure? I-I know you really-"

"It's fine. You're in worse shape, and this was your idea. Go." Just hurry.

"Thanks! I promise I'll be super quick! With that, she hobbled down the hall in the direction Kitagawa indicated, the sound of a door slamming indicating she'd reached her destination.

Trying not to cringe too obviously at the sound, he backed up to lean against the wall, crossing his legs more firmly (not that it helped much). He was already deeply regretting letting her dart in first, but he also wouldn't have forgiven himself if something… happened to her. Especially since he'd been the one who'd let Mona drag things on for so long in the first place. If he'd just manned up earlier, none of them would have even been in this mess.

He could wait for the whopping few minutes it would take her to come out.

His body seemed to be trying its best to contradict that thought only seconds later though, another urgent wave of pressure forcing him to squeeze himself tighter and hunch over, a pathetic whine slipping out from his throat. Oh God, I have to piss so bad, holy shit...

It was then that he became acutely aware of their host's gaze on him, glancing over to see blue eyes running up and down his body with… was it bemusement? Or just irritation? Whatever it was, it was intense, practically boring into him and making him far too self-aware of how ridiculously he was acting. Feeling his breath catch in his throat, he glanced away, nudging his head as he did so to allow his bangs to shield his eyes. "I… er, I-I'm sorry about this..."

He felt no guilt at all about what they were doing in the Metaverse, but… he could sense the all too familiar sting of being an unwanted presence here, in this moment. This wasn't the worst thing they'd done in this shack, but it was still an inconvenience, and towards someone who was already under a lot of stress and unease. The lack of response to his apology didn't ease his nerves.

He could feel a bead of moisture building, threatening to slip out, and he swapped his legs so that they were crossed the other way. That barely helped the shudders and tingling stings, and soon he was hopping from one foot to the other in between leg-crosses, resorting to a full-out desperate dance. Hurry up! Please please please! I'm gonna explode!

"If you're going to wet yourself, I would highly prefer if you moved onto that tarp in the middle of the room."

As if this wasn't mortifying enough already, he had to go and say something like that?!? Kitagawa seemed to be entirely serious though, fixing him with a narrowed gaze as he stood there with his arms folded.

"I-I'm not going to..." He let the mumbled argument die on his tongue, simply ducking his head and hobbling over to stand on the paint-splattered plastic. It was even worse now without any surface to lean his weight against, and he bit his lip, strongly considering sitting down. If he took that course of action though, even if it helped lessen the urge in the present moment, he doubted he'd be able to get back up to bolt to the door when it opened. Better to stay standing, ready to run...

"You're a good deal quieter than the others, aren't you? Come to think of it, I don't believe you said a single word to me the last time you came here. It was those two that did all of the talking when things became heated… and yet, you seemed to stand by them. Do you truly share their opinion?"

"I..." That was a touchy subject, wasn't it? It was probably best not to anger him...

"Relax. Your answer will not affect your restroom privileges. I simply wish to know how you feel about the situation."

What he felt? Right now, the only feeling he could focus on was the agonized shrieking in his bladder. 

He still knew the answer though, even if it came out as more of an anxious groan. "I do. Wholeheartedly."

"I see..."

(( I could never decide if I wanted to stall and let Akira make it or have him lose it right before Ann got out. I also couldn't think of much dialogue between him and Yusuke to fill the time until then, so this is pretty much it RIP))

[nexttrickanvils]

Day 5 of @shuharuweek: AU/Song & Dance

Yup it’s time for more roleswap AU. So enjoy Haru starting up the Empress Confidant. ;)

Title: Foolish Empress: Empress Confidant Rank 1

Characters: Fool!Haru, Empress!Akira, Morgana, others are there briefly

---------

It was official… the Phantom Thieves were low on money.

Then again Haru shouldn’t be too surprised. After all between buying new weapons for everyone and buying a cell phone for Yusuke so he could actually communicate with the rest of the team it was no wonder that their funds were low.

Haru pulls up the group chat to let everyone know what was going on.

HARU:  Some bad news. I just looked at our funds and we’re running low. We may have to make do with our current equipment and supplies.

ANN: Can’t we just hold up some Shadows in Mementos?

RYUJI: Yeah but we just finished up Madarame’s palace. I wanna take a break before we get back to work.

HARU: I agree with Ryuji-kun, I don’t want you all to overwork yourselves.

YUSUKE: I apologize. I know you three had to use that money for this phone and equipment for me.

ANN: Yusuke, don’t. You needed a phone and like hell was Madarame gonna give you one.

RYUJI: Yeah and we couldn’t let you face shadows without good stuff. Plus we all bought new junk so it ain’t all on you.

YUSUKE: I appreciate your words but that still leaves us with our current situation.

HARU: I guess the best option would be take a job. I saw some job postings at the subway, maybe I can take a look at those.

ANN: You sure Haru? You just said you didn’t want us to overwork ourselves.

HARU: I’ll be fine Ann-chan, thank you.

With that Haru closed the app and put her phone away. From his spot next to her on the bed, Morgana gives her a concerned look.

“I think Lady Ann has a point. You can’t lead Les Fantômes if you exhaust yourself.” said Morgana

Haru smiles in response and starts petting her (not) feline companion

“I appreciate that you’re all looking out for me but we can’t solely rely on the Metaverse for our money. I promise that I’ll be looking for something that’s simple and won’t take too much time.”

“...Well I should come with you and help, just in case.”

Haru briefly thinks of saying to Morgana that he’s always with her outside but instead she just thanks him.

---------

“How about this one? It’s that beef bowl place in Shibuya.” Morgana said as he looked at the flyer from over Haru’s shoulder

“I don’t know. I’ve been there with Ryuji once. It was so crowded and there weren’t a lot of people working that night.”

“Maybe it won’t be so bad if they hired more people.”

“I suppose, let’s consider it a “maybe.””

So far the job search turned out to be more difficult than Haru thought. There certainly wasn’t a lack of openings but for one reason or another they simply didn’t fit what Haru was looking for. One didn’t work because she was too young to apply, another was too strict with its scheduling, and so on.

“This one won’t do at all.”

But she refused to give up.

“Hm… not this one.”

There had to be something…

“No...”

...Just right…

“Oh! Mona-chan look at this one!”

Rafflesia Flower Shop Now Hiring!

Located in Underground Mall at Shibuya Station

Looking for charming employees to build and give our customers their dream bouquets.

Willing to provide flexible hours

Starting salary is 3200 yen.

Haru smiles as she pulls out her phone and calls the number on the flyer.

---------

“Thank you for taking this position, Kurusu-chan. I can tell that you’ll be a very good fit for Rafflesia.”

Haru gave her thanks to Hanasaki-san as she tied the apron around her waist.

“Now Kurusu-chan since this is your first day, I’m going to ask you to shadow me and Amamiya-kun. We’ll do the work and you observe us and try to learn the ropes.”

“Amamiya-kun?”

“Another employee, he’ll be here soon. Just keep your eye out for a young man about your age with dark hair and glasses. Now let’s get to work shall we?”

Haru did as she was told for the shift, learning as much as she can about the job from Hanasaki-san, and all the while keeping her eyes out for someone matching her co-worker’s description.

She was in the middle of watching her boss put together a bouquet of scarlet roses, care-nation, and justice jasmines when Amamiya-san arrived.

He was just as Hansaki-san described though Haru couldn’t help but giggle a little over how his headband was just barely containing his mess of hair. Thankfully he didn’t seem to hear (or mind) Haru’s laughing and instead went straight to their boss.

“I apologize for taking so long Hanasaki-san.”

“It’s no problem. Kurusu-chan, this is Ren Amamiya. Amamiya-kun, this is our new hire, Haru Kurusu. She’ll be shadowing you for the rest of the shift. So give her a good example to follow, alright?”

“Heh, heh, don’t worry I will.”

Amamiya then turned to Haru and smiled. For a brief moment she felt her breath caught in her throat.

“It’s nice to meet you Kurusu-chan. It’s good for have an extra set of hands here.”

“Oh! I-I I’m glad to be here.”

For the rest of the shift, Haru watched and followed Amamiya-kun. His passion for the job was something to be admired. He happily explained the different meanings of each flower, connecting those meanings to the type of bouquets people wanted, and really laid on the charm for the customers.

Honestly Haru found herself blushing more than once.

She was so focused on him, that she almost didn’t notice when Hanasaki-san approached her with an envelope of money.

“Here’s your pay for today. It’s just standard wages. Good work, Kurusu-chan. Come back again when you have the time.”

“Thank you, I will.”

She waved good-bye to her co-workers and made her way to the train back to Yongen-Jaya

---------

As soon as the bell rung, Haru made her way upstairs to meet with Ann and Ryuji to discuss going into Mementos today.

Just as she reached the second-year’s floor, Haru found herself nearly crashing into another student.

“Oh, my apologies...!”

“It’s fine Kurusu-chan I wasn’t looking where I was going and...”

Wait “Kurusu-chan?”

Haru looked up to face the student and found herself at a loss for words.

The boy in front of her wore a black sweater over his school turtleneck but what caught her attention was his messy dark hair and grey eyes. If he pulled his bangs back and wore a pair of glasses he’d look just like...

“...Amamiya-kun?”

“I-I’m sorry! Y-you must have me mistaken for-for s-some... ” and with that the boy rushed downstairs.

---------

The next day, Amamiya-kun didn’t arrive at work. Hanasaki-san had said that he called in sick but after what happened yesterday, Haru couldn’t help but worry. Why did he run away when she recognized him? Not to mention how different he was from the charming confident young man at the flower shop. Was he hiding something?

Whatever was wrong, she wanted to help him. She wasn’t going to let someone struggle in silence.

For the next few days at school, Haru kept her eyes open for Amamiya. She tried to ask around about him but anyone who was actually willing to talk to her only seemed to vaguely know who she was talking about.

She finally found him one day, exiting the library with a small stack of books.

“There you are!”

The dark-haired boy froze and looked at Haru with a nervous expression.

“Please don’t run away. I just wanted to talk, I’ve been worried about you.”

“Wait… Worried? About me?”

“You haven’t been to work since we bumped into each other the other day. Is there something the matter Amamiya-kun? Please whatever it is, I want to help...”

With some hesitance, Amamiya walked toward Haru.

“I’ll explain, just follow me.”

The two make their way outside the building and eventually sat down in one of the alcoves by the vending machines.

Amamiya looks around to see if anyone was near, takes a deep breath, and faces Haru.

“The truth is… my name isn’t Ren Amamiya. It’s Akira. The glasses and the headband are part of the… mask I wear for lack of a better word.”

“Why use a fake name? Why disguise yourself… are you in trouble Ama… I mean Akira-kun?”

Akira sighs, “No but I would be. Certain people in my life… wouldn’t approve of my choice of hobby. They want me to be more of a proper gentleman and well “proper gentlemen ” don’t plant and tend flowers. So I came up with the disguise so I could just get away from my regular life and do something I love. When you recognized me here, I was afraid that word would spread and everyone would find out.”

Haru sadly stares at him. She can’t imagine what it must be like to hide your passion in such a way. Without even thinking, Haru places her hand on top of Akira’s.

“Kurusu-chan?”

“Please, just call me Haru. And I promise Akira-kun, your secret is safe with me. You obviously care about working at the shop and it makes you happy. I never want to take that away from you. And if you ever need someone to confide in, I’ll be there.”

A tinge of pink covers Akira’s cheeks before he smiles.

“I… thank you Haru-chan.”

Haru squeezes Akira’s hand as she can feel a new power within her and time seeming to stop.

---------

She felt dizzy, her mouth was dry, and everything hurt.

Haru faced Niijima-san who seemed to pondering something.

“One of your later jobs involved probing into a certain conglomerate. There’s a possibility you even infiltrated their company building. Perhaps you had some sort of connection… Tell me about this person.”

Just as before with Niijima-san’s previous questions about her confidants, Haru stayed silent.

---------

I am thou, thou art I…

Thou hast acquired a new vow.

It shall become the wings of rebellion

That breaketh thy chains of captivity.

With the birth of the Empress Persona,

I have obtained the winds of blessing that

Shall lead to freedom and new power…

Akira cleared his throat and Haru immediately pulled her hand away.

“I’m sorry, I just kind of...”

“N-no it’s fine. I just… I know I already said it but thank you. I’ll be back at Rafflesia in a couple days. Then… then maybe I’ll take you up on your offer. I should head home now, my father’s… well I don’t want to worry him. I’ll see you later, Haru-chan.”

“See you later, Akira-kun.”

She waved goodbye as Akira walked away. However she soon heard a familiar laugh from her bag. Haru quickly opened it up and found Morgana grinning like… well like the cat that caught the canary.

“Mona-chan, I thought you were napping! How much of that did you hear?”

“Enough. Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone about your boyfriend.”

With that Haru zipped her bag back up, stood up, and made her way to the station. All the while ignoring Morgana’s protests.

[rizzizzsins-blog]

From the Ashes, Ch 8

Wanna read this on Archive? Click here.

 The shopping trip was a success. Asher rediscovered his love of cyberpunk, and he looked like an extra out of      Akira    . After he and Cinn had lunch at the food court, much to Edge’s dismay, everyone piled into Edge’s Jaguar, and they were off.

 “You both have such nice cars,” Asher marveled a bit.

 “Don’t compare my brother’s hunk of junk to my marvel of nature!” Edge frowned a little.

 “Listen ‘ere, that Pontiac took me an entire year to restore. I’d like to see ya try it,” Cinn smirked.

 “That’s not fair! You know I’m not a tinkerer like you!” Edge protested.

 “Then quit throwin’ shade at my baby. She’s perfect the way she is, save fer a little dust from this one,” he nudged Asher with his elbow.

 “Oh, sorry,” Asher apologized; Cinn shook his head. “I’m just jokin’, princey. It’ll be alright. ‘S a memory, that’s for sure.”

 A memory, huh…

 “This may be a bit of a drive, so feel free to fall asleep,” Edge remarked, adjusting his mirrors a bit before driving off.

 “You got it, bro.”

 “I’m not talking to you! I need your help with the directions! The place doesn’t appear on my map apps, since it’s technically a closed business.”

 “Yeah, alright. Make a left, then stay on 64 for about 10 miles.”

 Asher slowly sunk into the Jaguar’s leather seats. He hadn’t realized how tired he was. The shopping trip had left him completely drained.

     Asher was in the community garden; the sun was slowly coming up. Dew dotted all of the leaves, and the tulips were lazily opening, one petal at a time.  

     It was around the time to harvest the dandelions. Apparently humans treated them as pest plants, but they were quite a good food source, so his glen grew them. It was best to pick half while they were flowering and half afterwards.  

     As he reached out to them, they shrank away. Asher moved his hand closer, and the plants leaned further away. Frustrated, he reached out and snagged an apple off a tree. As he was about to put it in his mouth, he felt something wet and sticky in his palm.  

     The apple was decomposing rapidly in his hand, until it melted into a viscous, black sludge. Asher turned to see where he’d walked; the grass was dead in every area where he’d stepped.  

     “Samara! You’re ruining everything!” His mother shouted, her hands in her hair.  

     “Mom! I’m sorry! I----” The rot spread faster and faster, crawling up his mother’s roots.  

     “You ruin everything, Samara. Everything.” Her flesh rots, and her teeth fall out one by one.  

 Asher screamed himself awake.

 “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” Edge pulled over hard, turning off the ignition. “WHAT’S HAPPENING?” His eyelights glowed intensely, and the magic of battle brewed in the air.

 “I’m sorry, mom… sorry….” Asher mumbled. He was awake. It was over.

 “I shoulda fuckin’ warned him about the nightmares, Boss. It was my fault.”

 “No, I could have done so as well.”

 Asher shook his head. “Don’t worry… I can’t remember the last good dream I had. They’ve just never been that bad.”

 “Yeah… our dad never talks about his. Makes sense, though, since he doesn’t fuckin’ talk about anythin’.”

 “Hmph, it is frustrating. I can tell that it’s bothering him. He has the same microexpressions as I do when I’m upset. But he just shoves it all down and acts like an asshole. That’s going to blow up in his face some day.. I hope I’m not around for that,” Edge sighed.

 “So… we almost there? Sorry for scaring you.”

 Edge restarted the car, and they were off. They were pretty out of the city; the interstate was mottled with wildflowers and tall grass. Large houses with acres of property made up most of the landscape.

 “Yes, just one more turn off this exit and it’s the first place on the left.” They rounded the hill next to the exit and…

 Jesus Christ. The house was an absolute horrorshow. It looked like the kind of place that a church would run a haunted house in to raise money for charity. How it hadn’t been condemned or demolished was beyond Asher. The shutters were slowly sliding off their windows. Some windows were missing panes altogether, covered by plywood instead. The parking lot was full of luxury cars and retrofitted antique vehicles.

 “This is… a little worse than I expected, Edge.”

 “I know it looks a bit haunted on the outside, but that’s simply because they don’t feel like fixing it. The inside is a lot nicer,” The captain assured him as they pulled into the lot.

 He checked his phone. Goddamn it, a whole bunch of them had dipped out of lunch. Including Vanilla.

 Fuming, Edge smiled at Asher. “Excuse me for one moment, Asher.”

 “Easy, bro.”

 “NO! THEY SAID THEY WERE COMING! WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY?”

 Edge basically slammed his fingers into the keypad as he dialed someone Asher didn’t know.

 “VANILLA! WHAT THE FUCK GIVES?!”

 “What can I say? Not interested.” Looks like Edge hit the speaker button in his hurry.

 “YOU COULD APOLOGIZE!”

 “I’m not the one doing something wrong. You’re introducing some decomposing rando into a house of already half-functional skeletons. And now the queen wants to throw in that psycho? Count me the fuck out.”

 “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT PSYCHO.” Edge’s eyelights went out.

 “Oh, you haven’t heard? He just got released from prison, and that’s what Fafriel wants to do with him. You should probably make peace with your old man before he’s wiped off the face of the earth.”

 “RIGHT. AS IF YOUR FATHER IS GOING TO LEAVE HIS HOME JUST BECAUSE OF TWO NEW PEOPLE. NOT EVERYONE THROWS IN THE TOWEL WHENEVER THEY FACE ANY LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY, SANS.”

 The line went quiet.

 “If I have to drag my dad out of that building by force, I will. I’m not losin’ him after just getting him back.”

 “OH, YOU’RE GONNA DRAG HIM OUT? HE’LL JUST TELEPORT BACK. OUR FATHERS ARE EVEN BETTER AT TAKING ON CHALLENGES THAN YOU ARE AT RUNNING AWAY FROM THEM. GOOD DAY, SANS,” Edge hung up with a wicked grin.

 “Who was that?” Asher asked, wrinkling his nose.

 “Vanilla. Cinn’s Tale Kingdom counterpart. We’ve both been on the Surface for the same amount of time and he hasn’t evolved or matured one bit in that time. I for one, am proud of all the progress my brother has made. Vanilla and Honey just seem to go backwards, frankly. I feel sorry for Papaya and Azure.”

 “There’s no need to feel sorry for me, Edge! Sans is just going through a rough patch!” A skeleton in a suit jacket, leather elbow patches and plaid orange dress pants put his hand on Edge’s shoulder.

 “NYAAAGH! DON’T DO THAT, PAPY!”

 “See? You don’t like it when you’re talked about      behind your back    , do you?” the other chuckled. “Don’t worry! I would have dragged Sans by the ear here if I had to. Brother, come out of the car!”

 A dark blue-eyed skeleton skulked out of his brother’s Ferrari.

 “Coming.”

 “Hello, little dryad! My name is Papaya Aster, Esquire. It is truly an honor to meet you!” He seemed so excited he could barely contain himself, pulling out a fidget spinner to burn off the extra energy.

 “Go on, Papaya. It doesn’t hurt to ask,” Edge clapped him on the back.

 “A-ARE YOU A HUGGER? E-excuse me, I tend to be a little too clingy sometimes!” Papaya smiled apologetically.

 “Oh? Sure. Haven’t been hugged too often, but I like trying new things, hahaha.”

 Papaya scooped Asher up and spun him around, before setting him down carefully, making sure he landed properly.

 “Jeez. Can’t say I’ve ever been hugged with quite so much enthusiasm. Thank you, Papaya.”

 “It’s no issue! If you’re ever wanting a hug, I am always ready to give!”

 “Yeah, and that’s just the issue,” his brother muttered. That must be Vanilla.

 “Nice to meet you,” Asher smiled, offering a hand.

 Vanilla takes it. The others seemed to have expected something to happen, since they were all cringing. But nothing happened.

 “Nilla’s the name. I’m one of your landlords, I guess.”

 “Right,” Asher swallowed.

 “Is anyone else planning on showing up?” Edge sighed, pinching his nasal bridge.

 “I believe Azure is coming in. Honey’s… a little impaired at the moment.”

 “You can say      drunk    , Papy,” Edge spat.

 “I don’t want to make a bad impression!” Papyrus responded. They weren’t upset, not with each other, at least.

 “Considering the unpleasantness that was the phone call with your brother, I think that we can drop all pretenses.”

 A car braked hard in the parking lot. A pair of heels stuck out of the door, as well as… a riding crop?

 “ESPRESSO! CORTADO! GET OUT OF THE CAR, THE TENANT IS ALREADY HERE!” He shouted, a curt rasp in his voice.Two thumbs up popped out of the windows, before two long, yellow eyed skeletons stepped out of the car. The one yelling stepped out last, needing assistance from one of his brothers to get down from their enormous Lexus GX.

 The smaller seemed to be in charge, the other two trailing behind him. One of them was hunched as he walked, his hoodie dipping just a little over his eyes. Headphones sat squarely on his shoulders. The other was much dressed like his brother, walking straight, in a rather futuristic black trench.

 “ESPRESSO! PICK UP THE SLACK! WE ONLY HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF TIME TO ASSESS THE TENANT BEFORE YOUR THERAPY SESSION!”

 The hunched one nodded, running a little to catch up with his brothers.

 The two militant ones squinted at Asher hard.

 “CORTADO. HIS STATS.”

 Wait, Asher’s stats?! What the hell did they need those for? Were they about to fight him or something?

 “Illegible. Nothing but VOID-garbled gibberish, Captain.”

 “THEN GIVE ME AN ESTIMATE!”

 “Uh… do I need to do something here?” Asher asked Edge.

 “No. This is just… their routine. Riesling, do you intend on wasting all of lunch staring at our tenant, or will you introduce yourself like a normal person?”

 “THIS IS PERFECTLY NORMAL! CORTADO, I GROW IMPATIENT.”

 “DEF 50. ATK 30. HP 30/30. Soul of Justice.”

 “PATHETIC! A COMPLETE AND UTTER WEAKLING! GOOD. YOU ARE OF NO THREAT TO OUR FATHER AND MAY PROCEED.”

 “Al...right?” Asher wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or insulted. Maybe a little bit of both. He wasn’t a complete weakling, right?

 “WE MUST WAIT FOR THE LONE COMMANDER, AS WELL AS OUR COUSIN AND HIS PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A COMPANY,” Riesling sighed.

 “You know Scamp and Sliv are always late. Let’s just go inside and get this over with,” Nilla sighed deeper. Cinn gritted his teeth.

 “You’se guys go on ahead. I’m gonna need a moment.”

 “Fine,” Edge nodded. “Asher, would you mind staying for a moment with my brother? I would like to make sure our fathers aren’t doing anything abnormally dangerous, and set up a bit, before you enter.”

 “Alright, sounds good.”

 Everyone except Cinn and Asher went into the house. The door practically screeched whenever it was open and shut.

 Cinn pulled out a cigar and sat on the hood of the Jaguar. “Y’ want one?”

 “I can’t smoke. It’s really bad for plants. Even though I’m more rot than plant, I still don’t want to risk it,” Asher declined.

 “Suit yaself.” He snapped his fingers and the tip of the cigar lit up. So he knew a little fire magic…

 “.... So that was… a lot. Are you all related? Or what’s the story?”

 “We’re all counterparts. It gets kinda messy. Our names started out as nicknames, but eventually we had ‘em all legally changed. Got sick of gettin’ ‘calls for Sans and Papyrus’. How was we supposed to know which pair people wanted?!” He chuckled a bit.

 “But, yeah… I’m sorry yer havin’ to go through all this. I’d hoped this would be a little easier than you livin’ on yer own, but all I’ve done is complicate the shit outta your life. This one’s on me, princey.”

 Asher shook his head.

 “You know, it’s at least been different. I got so used to my routines with Theo that I kind of forgot what life was like outside of that. Sure, not everything’s fun, and certainly not Vanilla, but it’s been different, and in that sense, refreshing. It helps me keep my mind off… this,” he smiled, gesturing to his broken body.

 “Yeah. That’s what velcro shoes an’ jackets are for. Ya look right outta Blade Runner.”

 Asher’s smile grew a little bigger. “I have mixed feelings about that film, but the aesthetic is top notch.”

 “Yeah…” Cinn drew in a big puff, before blowing it out in the shape of a heart. “Hehehe, I still got it.”

 “Can you blow it out your eyes?” Asher had to ask.

 “Hell no! Shit burns like a motherfucker. Who showed ya that?” Cinn shuddered.

 “Me. Nyeh heh, didn’t mean to set the bar too high for ya, shorty,” Scamp popped in and noogied Cinn mid inhale, giving him a coughing fit and stealing his cigar.

 “You sack of fuckin’ shit, you planned that!” Cinn growled. Asher could kind of tell they were playing around.

 “Brother. Please. We arrived with a duty, and we must perform it.”

 “DON’T TREAT IT LIKE A DUTY, TREAT IT LIKE AN ADVENTURE! WE GET TO MEET A NEW FRIEND! HOPEFULLY CRIMSON WON’T INSULT THEM SO MUCH THAT THEY LEAVE CRYING THIS TIME!” It was odd. The two voices sounded like they were from the same person, yet one of them was heavy and flat, and the other was bouncing off the walls. Eventually, Asher was able to see the two skeletons talking. They had showed up in a sporty motorbike and sidecar, removing their helmets before coming to say hello.

 “Nyeh heh, you Blue’s      side    piece now?” Scamp joked with the quieter one. The two motorcyclists looked almost inverted. The quieter one with muted purple eyelights robotically shook Asher’s hand, before the bright-eyed one grabbed Asher’s other hand and shook it vigorously.

 “HELLO! I DON’T BELIEVE WE’VE MET! MY NAME IS AZURE ASTER, AND THIS IS MY FRIEND, SLIVOVITZ ASTER!”

 “Yeah, here’s my big bro. Well, big metaphorically.”

 “Hardee har har. Because I’m short. Very original, brother,” Slivovitz sighed. “I would at least like to supervise Edge making the food, even if he will no longer let me assist.”

 “MAYBE IF WE’RE LUCKY WE CAN SNEAK MAKING A FEW SIDE DISHES. COME ON, SLIV!” Azure grabbed Sliv’s hand and basically Naruto ran to the door.

 “Well, princey, whatcha see is whatcha get. You still wanna go in that house?” Cinn checked. “Y’ can say no. I’d fuckin’ say no.”

 Asher shook his head. “I’m ready. I want to give this a try.”

 Without realizing it, Asher took Cinn’s hand, and they walked inside. It was lunchtime.

[lycanguts]

CALLOUT POST FOR A PAST ABUSER/MANIPULATOR

So this is definitely not my usual type of content, I don’t like causing unnecessary drama but this is inexcusable. It's probably weird seeing this in a fandom tag but these are his main interests and if it could be boosted in this communities it might save some people.

Tumblr user @yucee is a terrible person both in how he acts and how he treats other people, he’s manipulative, quick to deflect blame and never takes responsibility for his actions. As if that wasn’t bad enough he's also a pedophile.

This post will not only contain my testimonial but the testimonials of two others who also met him.

This one is a doozy but I recommend reading it, I want as many people as possible to see his true nature (especially anyone >22 years old).

I would like make it known that he loves to play the victim in any scenario regardless of whose fault it actually is (most of the time it’s his however, he has a real hard time accepting blame for anything).

While my trauma is not as severe as others who have come in contact with him he ruined what was supposed to be a fun weekend with my friends as well as our first meeting which should’ve been something amazing.

Unfortunately I deleted our conversations on Discord as I didn’t think when I did I would be making this type of post, thankfully his tumblr messenger is still open to me as well as a few text messages post-meetup. Most things that revealed his true nature were said during voice chat so most of these messages are only a small glimpse at what an awful person he is.

My Testimonial:

Hello my name is Anthony, I'm 22 years old and I had met yucee three years back when we had a mutual friend. While we didn’t have much in common he seemed like a nice enough guy and someone I’d like to befriend. We had similar tastes in pokemon as well as similar music tastes, and while we had known each other for three years we hadn’t really talked consistently until mid 2017. It was around the latter half of this year that I had developed feelings for him and after a few weeks of hesitation I asked him out and was excited when he said “yes”. Had third been months ago I’d say our relationship was a good one, he accepted me for who I was and I was just happy to find another trans guy with no interest in anything sexual.

However looking back now I realize not only was Yucee extremely self centered but he made sure to link me to his “coping” fic every other day expecting me to read he one sentence he had added while when I would send him my art it was a 50/50 chance I would ever receive good feedback if any at all (his comments were either “cute” or “gay”, sometimes he would just ignore it altogether).

Did I mention he also invited himself to the convention I attended this summer? Around mid March I had planned on asking him as I was going to test the waters and see if by describing my con experiences it would be something he would be interested in attending possibly next year, however as soon as I brought up I was going to a convention he chirped in with “I want to go too!”. He was excited, I was too, and we soon began to make plans to meet each other. During this time let me point out how he would say things like “are we going to be around your friends the entire convention?” and “since you always get to see your friends can I have you to myself?” And “next year, if you still like me then, I want to go to MTAC, just you and me I don’t want your friends there.” And other things of this nature. At first I thought he was just joking around but it became evident to me after the fact that he was becoming extremely possessive of me to the point he was already picking out what costume I would wear for MTAC. Not only this but when he learned me and my friends had already planned a cosplay group he became upset because we were dating so we should’ve had matching costumes. Again this was mid March and the convention was early in early June, I had been working on what costumes I had since December. He was dead set on cosplaying persona characters and while I liked persona I didn’t think I’d have enough time to throw a costume together. Eventually he seemed pleased enough I’d be cosplaying Akira Fudo while he cosplayed Akira from persona, but he still complained that me and my friend were acting more like a couple than he and I were because I had a matching cosplay with her, “we’re boyfriends we should be matching he’d say”. Again, my friends plan our convention going experience well in advance, Yucee had pushed himself into our plans and was upset that nothing was going his way 100%, and that reflected in his behavior at the convention (we’ll get to that shitshow soon enough).

So it’s planning time, we have a few months, I tell him what kinds of things he can buy in the vendor hall and he starts buying his costumes and he estimates he’ll be able to save at least $800 of his SSI checks up to the point, but him being the impulsive man he is he had barely $300. He didn’t even buy his own ticket, he had spent all of his check from May on even more akeshu prints and costume stuff so he didn’t have enough to pay for a preregistration ticket (these closed on may 31st), so I offered to buy his ticket if he paid me back when I came to get him.

When it came to the issue of how he was going to get to my home I of course offered to drive him as long as he helped with gas and such.

Many, many times I assured him I would come and get him, I even had my car worked on just so I could be confident it would make the trip, but every so often he would say things like “I shouldn’t even be planning this, none of my plans ever work out.”

Every time this came up I assured him that it wouldn’t be an issue, while I had never made a trip this long by myself before I was more than willing.

Whenever I picked him up he gave me $50 for gas when he should’ve given me $150 ($100 for gas there and back, $50 for the ticket). But if we wanna get technical he also owed me an extra $50 on top of this, money he said he’d pay me during the convention (he didn’t). I had bought him a pair of shoes for a costume he didn’t wear (because he was too busy wearing my Guzma shoes) and two face products he used twice but stopped using after it didn’t work fast enough for his liking.

The $50 he had given me however was money he had guilted his dad into giving him, his dad couldn’t meet me halfway because he had stomach issues and was worried he wouldn’t be able to make the trip, which I was fine with, but he had told me he would ask his dad for more money from his monthly check because it was “his [dad’s] fault” I would have to drive the whole way. Also when I first was introduced to his father he introduced me as his boyfriend when I had made it VERY clear that I wanted to be introduced as only a friend, so he outted me without even considering my feelings.

For most of the car ride back he complained constantly about the heat, I had warned him my A/C was on the fritz but he continuously brought t up ever few minutes that he was hot. It was a four hour car ride.

As for the convention itself I will condense it to bullets because there’s a LOT to dive into.

June 7th (Day Before Con)

-I had warned him that he would have to come to work with me when he stayed at my house, since he was unaccustomed to waking up early I offered to wake him twenty minutes before I left (8:00 AM). The moment he woke up he didn’t wish me a happy birthday, the first words out of his mouth were “what are we doing for breakfast?” When I offered him one of my protein bars he made he comment how that wouldn’t fill him up and how he needed something with sodium, he then proceeded to try to get me to cook him a can of soup. This was five minutes before I was supposed to leave to pick up my friend/coworker. I made him a peanut butter sandwich because peanut butter is filling and added a bit of salt because salty peanut butter is good. He didn’t even finish the sandwich, handed it back to me with two bites out of it and continued to complain about being hungry until lunch time.

-When my friend was talking about how shitty her parent was Yucee responded with “if that was my dad I would just stand up to him” without realizing that my friend’s parent is verbally and emotionally abusive to her, unlike his dad who I assume just doesn’t coddle him like his mom did. He would say often how his dad was a terrible person and then turn around and say he couldn't wait for his dad to get a settlement (which he intended to give Yucee a good part of). His dad is also accepting of him and supportive of him to the point he even is helping fund his T shots/top surgery. When I told him that my friend's parent was not his father he immediately fired back with "Oh well you can't compare suffering."

You're probably wondering why I referred to my friend's parent as her parent as opposed to her "mother", well about that...

This is in his about. We’ll get into this later.

-We’re short staffed at work, he offered to help. He refused to do litterboxes because of the smell, it took three times of asking him to sweep for me to eventually hand him the broom to sweep, he proceeded to wildly rock the broom back and fourth saying he didn’t know how to sweep, I then asked him to do dishes since he didn’t know how to sweep (he didn’t do the dishes).

-Asked me if he could wear my new pair of shoes because he didn’t have the foresight to pack a comfortable pair of shoes that weren’t for a costume ; whined when I said no because as I said these were my new shoes and a birthday present, continued to complain about how much his feet hurt in my old pair of work shoes I lent him.

-Did I mention he constantly stated that the government pays him to not know anything, and that was one of his many excuses on how he didn’t know how to do even simple tasks like sweep? Other excuses were “I didn’t know that” or “I’m autistic I can’t help it” or “I’ve never done this before.”

-Went into a frenzy when my friends went over a couple of aisles in a very small dollar store, “you guys were going to leave me!” he growled. We assured him we wouldn’t do that countless times after this, this would not be the first occurrence.

-we arrive at my Dad’s house where we would be staying for the convention. Yucee’s frantic squeaking of a toy he had caught the attention of my sister’s lab puppy, thinking Yucee wanted to play he grabbed the toy with his mouth earning a scream followed by a backhand from Yucee. He never apologized. While on the topic of animal abuse: Yucee is extremely neglectful of the three cats he owns. One is covered so badly in flea bites and scabs chunks of his fur are missing and the table on which they eat was covered in vomit and old food, plus they don’t have a litter box so they have to go outside to use the bathroom despite him living near a busy road. Yet he continuously says he wants more cats.

-Whined that his wig didn’t look -exactly- like the picture and proceeded to throw it on the ground, no one noticed him do this as we were busy with our own things. He came out after about a minute and shouted at us “Did no one see me throw my wig down?!” When my friend Seth apologized and pointed out we were all busy he verbally said “sigh”.

June 8th (Day 1 of the con)

-morning time, we’re all getting dressed in our cosplays, Yucee takes the longest despite having the simplest costume and demands that we show him how to apply makeup/put on a wig, after showing him a few times already the night before. he also asks us to do the tasks for him, including putting on his makeup and even partially dressing him (made someone put on his suspenders for him without him even trying beforehand) “I’ve never cosplayed before.” he would say. His outfit was a shirt, pants and a pair of suspenders, he wasn’t even wearing his wig.

-as for my birthday present from him: in the vendor hall he buys me three tiny buttons, $1 each, two buttons that have lgbt+ pride things on them, both of which I can’t wear in my daily life. He also buys me s hat that he didn’t ask if I wanted, especially since the only kind of hats I wear are baseball hats. You might think I’m just mad that I didn’t get presents I wanted, I’m usually the thought that counts type of guy, but he made it quite clear what he wanted for his birthday that was a month away while we were in the vendor hall, he kept making remarks how he wanted a commission done of his favorite persona character, he wanted multiple commissions, and he made it clear he wanted me to buy them. He still hasn’t wished me a happy birthday.

-me and my two friends have had a few pictures of us requested at this point , Yucee gets angry that no one recognizes his Ryuji cosplay and how no one had asked for a picture. Thirty minutes after this exchange someone asks for his picture, he declines saying he’s a “disgusting gross frog man”. Soon after he again complains about this issue.

-complained, constantly, every five minutes it was either asking me when we were going home or how there were no persona cosplayers (there were, plenty) or how he was so nasty and had to go home and shower/wash his clothes (he showered at least three times a day).

-pulled me away from activities with my friends because he wanted me to take him home to shower/wash his clothes (where we were staying was roughly 20 minutes from the convention center and it took him thirty minutes each time).

-straight up insulted cosplayers because they didn’t pick the outfit he liked for the character they were portraying or said he didn’t like the costume because they were acting “too straight”.

-got jealous because me and my friend were “acting more like a couple” than me and him were. My friend and I were Pipimi and Popuko from popteamepic, canonically they are girlfriends and the most my friend and I did was hold hands while skipping and playfully call each other “darling”. I didn’t want to hold hands with Yucee, I didn’t even want to touch him.

-reason I wouldn’t hold hands or even touch Yucee? He had broken many of my boundaries in a short span of time, while it was was wrong of me to not communicate this to him he still continued to push when I was visibly uncomfortable. A ten year friendship had lot less boundaries than a three year friendship/seven month relationship (that I had just met in person two days earlier). Yucee would constantly rub his hands over the back of my neck, he would constantly slap my arm and eventually did it in for me was when he snuck up behind me and angrily slammed his hand on my shoulder because me and my friends had “left” him. I nearly had a panic attack before I realized it was him. He never apologized.

-would go into a frenzy if my group travelled ahead without him, even if we were in sight and only a few feet away he would cry about how we were leaving him behind. Every time I assured him we wouldn’t leave him and he could call me should we get separated.

June 9th (Day 2 of the con)

-Morning routine similar to day one, complete with him still making someone else do his makeup for him

-Said “not all of us having living mothers” rather annoyingly when someone was complaining about their mom. This person didn’t know Yucee had “ptsd” and wasn’t even talking to him but rather to my friend. He sounded more annoyed than about to have a panic attack, he even said what was supposed to be his trigger word.

-Did have a “breakdown” however because we walked a few feet away from him, we were still in eyesight, he didn’t even attempt to keep up with us. Went to the nearest booth where he knew he’d get sympathy, a booth that he knew was run by someone’s MOTHER. Made the comment afterwards that he wished she would adopt him.

-Tried to guilt me should I be thinking about breaking up with him.

-Constantly says that he should’ve never of come and how he just wants to go home, even asks if I or my grandma can drive him home on day three.

So the convention dance party rolls around, which is basically just a clean rave, I’m hyped because this is the first time I’m actually going to break out of my comfort zone and attend it. Yucee wanted to go to as he said he had always wanted to see what a rave was like, the moment we step in he goes to sit in the corner by himself. I told him I’ll come check on him every few minutes, I left my phone with him to prove that would come back for him. A few minutes pass and I go to check on him, he says he’s going outside the door for a second to get some air, so I think nothing of it. I see that they’re selling light up face masks so I had to run to my car to get cash, a trip that’ll take me about ten minutes. I tell my friends where I’m going and that Yucee said he’d be right outside. Halfway on my trip back from the car I’m alerted that my friends can’t find Yucee. I start to panic and practically run back to where the dance party is, I meet up with my friends and we split up to look for him. It doesn’t take me long to find him because I look in the area where he said he was going: outside on the balcony. I look around and there’s a lot of people out there, none Yucee, but upon further inspection I see he’s all the way on the other end of the balcony where no one else is. I lose it because he didn’t tell anyone he was going over there, we all assumed outside on the balcony meant with the rest of the people taking a break, not wedged in a corner out of anyone’s sight line. That’s when I decide it’s time someone has a talking to with him. I ask my friend to tell him why what he did wasn’t okay while I go grab a cup of water, when I return to them my friend makes it clear it’s my turn to talk to him. That’s when I decide to break up with him, not because of his “break down” but because of his disregard of anyone else’s feelings that weekend. While I was considering it I was going to think it over after the convention and make my decision in the future, he twisted my arm for the last time though. 

-Yucee blames my friend Boo for the reason we broke up despite me clarifying that it was 100% my decision

-Also blamed her for being the reason he had a breakdown, because she didn’t coddle him like everyone else. Didn't even bother to apologize for the two breakdowns he had caused her, when I brought it up he would always go through me to do it.

-so after I gave him my two cents I let him stew in a safe space while I tried to enjoy the remainder of the day with my friends (it was 12 am at this point and the con center closed at 1 am). We went to the game room (which I told him about) and not ten minutes go by he’s spamming me with texts and calls to tell me this is why he has “trust issues”.

-We get home and he goes immediately to bed without a word to any of us

June 10th (Final day of the con)

-Stayed in my dad’s basement all day by request, barely paid me half of the convention ticket money he owed me because he had spent it all on merch

I didn't hear from him all day, didn't even acknowledge us when we returned to start packing up.

-when we arrived at my home after leaving my dad’s he locked himself away all night, I didn’t see him until the next morning when I drove him home. (which he didn't provide me gas for, didn't even say one word to me).

I was lucky that my friend Boo tagged along when I took him home because she is one of the best friends I have had or will ever have and despite Yucee's hatred of her he could actually learn a LOT from her about being a good person.

I did have some contact with him post convention which is outlined in most of these messages, but for about the past month I have not contacted him out of one anon (see end of this post).

So just keep in mind that when he says his convention experience was awful that he’s the reason for a good portion of it going bad, he didn’t even bother apologizing to my friends once for ruining their convention, a convention that we all look forward to a year in advance.

Now I believe my friend's deserve to have their voices heard.

Boo’s Testimonial:

(This one’s a bit messy thanks to tumblr’s image limit)

Seth’s Testimonial:

In summary: yucee aka Jamie/Mike McCarver is a lazy, manipulative, self centered man. He’s a 27 year old who acts like he’s a child and plays up his problems for sympathy, he refuses to ever take blame or apologize for anything because how could he do wrong when he’s autistic/disabled. If he ever does apologize he never says it directly to the person, rather he goes for a general apology. He also says he’s learned from his mistakes but it’s obvious that he’s just saying that in an attempt to placate those he’s wronged or save face.

He’s also known to twist words to garner sympathy, what a shocker:

I sent him an anon as bait because I knew he’d twist the words. But I never said he didn’t deserve testosterone, and he knows that’s not what I meant, by not publishing the ask he can twist the words how he likes, which he likes to do a lot.

The anon read “If you paint a piece of shit gold it’s still a piece of shit. I’m not sure what you think you learned from your experience but it doesn’t change that you’re a pedophile. You were old enough to know what you were doing was wrong, in the end you hurt someone and if your not man enough to just issue an apology to them you’re a coward and no amount of testosterone will make you a real man. Your mother and father would be ashamed.”

Oh, and don’t forget about him being a pedophile.

Yucee was/is a sexually aggressive pedophile who refuses to acknowledge that he’s mentally messed up someone so bad that it’s still affecting them to this day and doesn’t even bother to apologize to them because he thinks they’ve traumatized him too. They were 14 years old, he was 22. He seems to have made it his mission to demonize his victim when his victim has not even made contact with him in three years. He says he’s changed but continues to befriend people at least five years younger than him, while they still are legal adults it’s still creepy considering the past he’s had with younger individuals.

And Yucee if you’re reading this: Your victim has not sent you any anons, you know exactly who has because you’ve told me before you know it’s her. 

Please boost this, do NOT interact with this user to send hate, and PLEASE stay safe.

[meloncity]

Ok I’m not a writer at all and this is an art blog but here’s some AkiRei because

She’d been there a few too many times before. The first time was to see what all the hype about this new “Snake Pit” club was about. Every visit after that was to get another chance to stare longingly at the mysterious DJ bouncing up on stage. He was handsome and energetic so of course he always had people hanging around him. Rei wasn’t the type to just start up a conversation with someone she didn’t know either, and for the time being she was perfectly content watching from afar.

“Why are you going back again, stupid?” She mumbled as she examined herself in the black dress. It was a little short and stopped about mid-thigh. It was in great shape considering it was an old hand-me-down from her exuberant friend and neighbor, Nina, who had bright pink hair and legs for days. She didn’t wear dresses often, or ever really, but these past few weekends she had wanted to look nice just in case. 

Rei frowned at herself in the mirror. He had better people than her to spend his time with than her. God, she didn’t even know what she’d say to him if she had the chance. “Hey, you’re really hot, I kinda might be in love with you.” She said jokingly, making finger guns at her reflection. No, that would be weird. Rei didn’t even know him but…he was always smiling and someone that friendly couldn’t be bad, right? Either way, she was already dressed up so why not? Slipping on her worn out flats she swung the front door of her apartment open, only to find herself face to face with a fluff of cotton candy like hair.

“Nina!” She all but screamed.

“Rei!”

Rei took a moment to try and regain her composure, “Uh, what’s up? Did you need something?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah!” Nina replied, peppy as always, “I was actually just about to knock! I wanted to see if you wanted to go out with me tonight, but I can see now you’ve already got plans.” She eyed the smaller girl with a grin on her pink lips. “And you look amazing in that outfit, by the way. Gorgeous! Do I have the best taste or what?”

Rei felt her face heat up and turned away to play with her hair, “R-really? You think so? It’s not too, uh, extravagant for me?”

Nina gasped in an almost theatrical way, “Babe! Oh my god, you’re so pretty I’m literally going to die right now!” That got a giggle out of Rei and Nina looked pleased with herself. “So, where are you going all dolled up? Got a hot date?”

“No, no, no nonono.” Rei dismissed the idea with a few quick waves of her hand. “I was just going…out…”

“To?”

“The……the...Snake Pit……”

Nina’s eyes lit up and her expression portrayed the human equivalent of “!!!”.

“OMG, no way!! I’ve never been and am totally dying to check it out, can I come?!”

Rei was surprised but quickly agreed, relieved to finally have some company, “Yeah, yeah of course! I’d love to go together! But, didn’t you already have something in mind you wanted to do?”

“Oh, pff, forget a movie night, I wanna go party with you!” Nina grabbed Rei’s hand and dragged her off to her car.

Once they arrived Nina was overjoyed with the music that blared through the walls and neon lights that bounced off every surface. She made her way to the bar, Rei in tow, and ordered the fruitiest concoction on the menu. “Y’know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a place only card for 18-year-olds when they’ve got a whole bar, like, right here,” Nina said after a few sips of her drink.

Rei half-heartedly nodded in agreement, her eyes already scanning the room for that familiar messy black hair.

“Of course, then you wouldn’t be allowed in and that would so suck.” Nina continued, “You’re only 19, right?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” Rei murmured, attention now obviously elsewhere. She jumped in her seat when Nina’s glass hit the bar with a loud thunk.

“All right girl, you’re acting way suspicious. What are you looking for?”

Rei cursed herself for being so easy to read. She didn’t even know his name, Nina would totally judge her for being so obsessed with a guy whose name she didn’t even know. The poster said Killin’ it with DJ Sidewinder! was that him? She had no idea, plus they had a few DJs here. What an odd name for a DJ. DJ. What a weird word. Like that one kid from Total D-

“Rei!” Nina snapped the dark-haired girl out of her mental spiral. “Well? What’s up with you?”

Ah screw it, she might as well tell her.

“Uh…w-well…there’s like...this guy…” she slowly stammered out, getting more and more nervous with each word. “He’s...here all the time…cuz he’s a DJ and…stuff…”

“Aaaand you like him.” Nina finished for her, a sly smile creeping up on her face. Rei opened her mouth to reply but just covered it with her hand instead and blushed. “Alright, alright, I get it.” Nina laughed, “So what’s his name?” Rei pause for a moment then shook her head with a dejected look. “Oh, honey, it’s ok, it’s ok. Uh, what’s he look like?”

Rei thought about what to say but words were failing her, so she grabbed a napkin by her and a pen from Nina’s purse and quickly scribbled out a drawing of the man. It was even accompanied by sparkles to emphasize the size of his smile and coolness level. She handed it shyly to Nina who took it and giggled at how adorable her friend was.

As Nina looked over the tiny napkin man, Rei scanned the dance floor once again, only to freeze with anxiety as a pair of sunglass covered eyes met her own from the middle of the room.

Crap, was that him? Oh god, it was. Maybe not? No, yeah, it’s him. But why would he be looking at her? Probably just a coincidence. The girl’s head went into disarray as the man started to walk in their direction. He must’ve been looking at someone behind her, yeah, that was it. Oh god, he was looking straight at her.

She watched in exhilaration and dread as the object of her affection stopped right before her and began a conversation. He was so much taller than she’d thought. At least a whole head taller than her.

“Hey there, haven’t I seen you around here before?” The man asked, his voice was deeper than she expected.

Rei tried to respond but could only stutter out unintelligible sounds. She glanced nervously to Nina for help, only to see the woman making a poor attempt to hide a huge smile. Rei silently begged her for help and she eventually got the message.

“Oh, totally!” Nina said, “She comes here all the time just to get a good look at the hot DJs here.” she winked back at Rei who was too stunned to move.

“Really now?” He said with a smirk, obviously enjoying this. “Any one in particular catch your eye?”

Rei could feel her soul leaving her body as Nina tapped him on the shoulder and showed him the napkin. To her utter horror he smiled at the cartoony rendition of himself.

“Damn,” He let out a chuckle, “It looks just like me.” He moved closer and leaned on the counter, Y’know there’s no need to be shy.”

“Oh, that’s just how she is with new people.” Nina replied, “She’ll open up plenty once you get to know each other.”

Rei knew her face must be as red as his shirt by now and it took all her strength to not bury her head in her hands and run away that very moment.

“Oho, I like the sound of that. Name’s Akira by the way.” He said in a heart-stoppingly seductive manner. At least that’s how she heard it.

Nina, wingman of the hour, spoke up, “This adorable little mess is Rei, and I’m her currently unavailable friend, Nina.”

Akira let out a laugh and Rei’s heart fluttered. “Well then Rei, I’m working the rest of the night, but I get off early tomorrow. Maybe we can play then.” Akira brushed his hand under her chin and licked his lip. Her body felt like lead at this point yet she somehow managed to give him a tiny nod in response. He winked at her and turned around to give Nina a quick nod before heading back to his station.

Rei’s body finally gave way and she collapsed, Nina clambering out of her chair to catch her in time. Rei buried her face in the other girl’s shirt and was moments away from crying tears of anxiety and joy.

“Heeeyyy, hey, hey, hey, what’s wrong? I got you a date with DJ McHottie!” Nina received a soft punch to her stomach and a low, muffled scream in response. “Do you hate me now?”

Rei shook her head.

“Are you excited?”

Another shake.

“Are you lying?”

Rei nodded and Nina patted her on the back.

“All right then, we better get home so you can get ready for your big date soon!” She helped her wobbly friend up and the two stumbled home.

[spenceraverywrites]

First Day (2/64)

Today’s story will focus on the intersection of magic and science in my solar/floralpunk world. I was hesistant to do that at first, but then I realized it’s my world, and I can do whatever I want to do with my world. 

So here’s a story about a nature witch named Nagi who is a member of the Planter religion which was a grassroots movement by mixed Terrann-Feino in this world. In the religion, many of the persons can work nature in some capacity, and at age 12, make compacts with a specific way of working -say farming or fishing or weather- and learn how to speak to the planet.

(BTW, Feino are similar to fae, but function a bit more like an elemental.)

As a reminder, if you’d like to track stories in this series, please keep watch on the tag #senseofzshoni. I’ll update when I can, and when it’s in my ability to do so. No pressure 2018 y’all.

Once more, this comes from @heir-to-the-diamond-throne‘s list of 64 Sensory Prompts.

No. 2: Digging your fingers into fresh dirt

Nagi Titus woke up bright and early on New Beginnings.

She stretched, soft brown arms forming a circle above her head as she locked her fingers together, cracking her knuckles as she twisted in bed, forcing herself out and onto the floor. Thankfully, Riani had warmed up the floors: she could hear the A.I. whispering all around her, setting the coffee up to brew and turning the window screens from Night Light Mode to clear so she could see the dim dawn outside. Trees and Blooms and Stars, Nagi loved nem: she knew she had life before living in partnership with an A.I., but what a paltry life if must have been.

For many citizens, today was just another Thursday, but for Nagi, it was Wood’s Day and New Beginnings: auspicious for a Planter. Not many of her kin were in the big cities: their doctrine believed that all the tech and metal and too few designated green spaces choked out the natural flow of energy that they made pacts with. To some degree, Nagi didn’t disagree: she had often wondered if she was a much more powerful witch back home.

But she’d received a calling to come to a big city, and Planters grew where they were needed. It was just their way.

Nagi didn’t bother scrubbing up in the washroom but instead opted to go downstairs to the Altar first thing. It had been the first thing she’d established when she’d moved to the neighborhood of Betweens: she’d done it before ordering a bed from the Wall. 

At first, it had been simple, glossy wooden plaques of the family, living an deceased, a few crystalized leaves in bright amber, and her want and scent sticks. Now, it was in full bloom with dried herbs and onions hanging from the ceiling, a trained and tamed bonsai on a small table, and so many scents from the burning sticks that she could burst.

“Today is the Most of days. It is the Beginning from which all come and the End of all that went. From all we go and to all we return,” Nagi whispered, bending from the waist in a deep bow. She drew her arms up, clasped her hands high above and behind her, palms together, and brought them down in front of her as she rose before breaking apart. Each time she did it, it felt like the first: such a simple movement felt so deeply sacred, rubbed her clean and made her feel like a new bloom.

“Well, time to get to working,” she whispered. “Riani, are you up?”

“Ah, good morning Na-sankta,” Riani greeted. “Coffee’s done and there’s a bit of banana bread left.”

“I’ll eat after. I’m itching to get out. You ready?”

“One moment, just switching. I want to see you this morning,” nir low voice replied. “I wanna get all pretty.”

“Y’always want to see me and you're always pretty,” Nagi whispered, and she felt a sharp blush ping through her body.

A pulse sounded deep in the house as the A.I. shifted forms, then a figure stepped from around the corner: a tall figure with navy hair, sharp green eyes, and pale skin dotted with golden freckles in linens and a wide-brimmed hat. Nagi felt a fresh blush tear through her as Riani stepped forward into her space, tentatively, then all at once.

This was the only thing that Nagi surely loved about the city, and she showed that by standing on tip-toe and pressing a kiss to Riani’s soft, silicon lips. Riani wouldn’t have been allowed back home: Nagi’s panjo would have considered it Cursed Work and Blight, though Riani was sweet as the season’s first honeycomb.

“Morning my bloom,” Riani said, low voice hitching. “Do you ever get used to that?” ne asked, tilting nir head. Nagi watched as Riani licked his lips

“No, and I certainly hope I don’t,” Nagi managed.

“Me either. I’ll keep from downloading any understanding of kisses for the rest of my existence even.” Nagi chuckled at Riani’s earnest nature, something that had been built up after years. Out of the box A.I. were so straight-laced, but as soon as Nagi had splurged on a kit for her then friend, now Partner, Riani had become humanly shy and honest, though it felt important to let them still be what they truly were.

They paused together for a moment until Riani remember there was coffee, then they went and filled thermo-pots and got out the hover tray. Without question, they both walked back upstairs then to the small hoverpad at the end. Pressed together, tray included, they fit comfortably in the snug space and Riani snapped, commanding it to go up.

They popped out onto the roof and just stood. It was quiet in Betweens, and Nagi appreciated that. Though she loved City Center and liked the brilliance of The Gig and Tech City and certainly loved all that Suko’rah’a gave to its residences, the city could be too much for a village girl like her. She’d rather a quiet that mimicked Hisu’s peaceable hills and low-tech homes than the glitz and glam of a City Highrise.

Nagi held for a moment longer, let her feet tap on the cool, smooth eco-fiber roof as she observed the flat expanse. Six long beds of dirt were set in deep troughs down at least two meters: enough for the roots to breath and avoid tangling too bad. Nagi had turned those beds last night, sending the last of the Toolbots through, let their crab-claw shovels till and toss and turn until the earth was prepped for first seeding. 

It had been quietly exciting, knowing that soon, she’d have new friends to commune with, that she’d be speaking life into the new growth of plants: flowers for A Cut Above below her apartments, vegetables and fruits for dinners and dyes, and a dedicated plot for wheat so she could have real bread and not the synthesized crap that city-folks like to chomp on.

The earth looked soft as a bed, and Nahi was tempted to lay in it and let her body work it, let her wordwork coax green buds and soft, dewy petals out months before they should come, but she didn’t: it wouldn’t be good for her nor the dirt. Instead, she didn’t do the latter, but she did lay, and let her feet and hands dig deep.

It really was bed soft, like her bed back home: the one stuffed with feathers that she and her siblings had collected the summer before Akira had turned 13 and become too cool to spend time outside in the river. The one before Nagi had turned 12 and started academy for wordworking. The memory came up and Nagi felt like laughing and crying, so she did, sound bleeding out over the roof.

Tumble, tumble, tumble: Nagi let the mess of wet earth stick to her skin and clothes. “You’re like a horse,” Riani teased, but that didn’t stop Nagi from tumbling again, from upsetting the neat rows with more digging, from pressing her thoughts of good harvest and deep roots and love into the dirt. Who cared anyways: the Toolbots would fix them again before the midnight seeding.

When she got up, her brown skin was streaked darker, and she smelled like wet days. Nagi hadn’t planned on a scrubbed, but now she entertained the idea of asking Riani to wash her back like how her mother had, to soak in the giant, wood tub tucked in the workshop for a while.

For now though, she wanted the sight creeping in at the corners of her eyes: the sun, a sliver of yellow stretching over the horizon, unobscured by the towers and tiers of city buildings. She wanted the stretch of pink chased by orange that bloomed so far away, signaling the start to Today.

She looked at the beds right as Riani came up, coffee mug in hand, hovertray bobbing in the light breeze, and sighed. It wasn’t Home, and would never be, but Between was a good place for Second Home, here with Riani. With a sigh, Nagi adjusted, let Riani slip and press behind her, nir warm body keeping the early spring tickle from being too cold.

“Not half bad, ne, amanto?” she whispered intimately right as Riani wrapped an arm about her soft, thick waist and together, they watched the dawn creep across the horizon, ready to start a new day.

[rwbyremnants]

THIS CHAPTER: Cuddles with boners, nail-painting, foot-worship, massage, toe-kisses, almost-footjob. Also, some of that also applies to July.

=Chapter 14

The half-sisters, half-girlfriends did exactly what they said they would do. The next day, they went shopping for all of the trimmings for a spa day, piling them in the back of Ruby’s car before they went to that special event showing of Akira.

And as it turned out, they didn’t actually make out much during the movie. Scattered kisses, but no intense groping or getting each other off; Yang was a little too interested. Especially in the main character’s motorcycle, which she gasped and smiled about every time it came on screen. Ruby was clearly a lot more invested in the actual storyline, but Yang liked that well enough, too - more than she expected, considering she was expecting somewhere between a Disney movie and Pokemon. Besides, it gave her a little more insight into what kind of girl Ruby was, the things she liked. Since she already knew she was head over heels for the brat, that seemed highly important now.

The whole way home, they chatted about it as they picked up shave ice from Ruby’s beloved spot. Just enjoying each other. Yang had started to worry that once they started doing non-sisterly things that the more sisterly side of their relationship might suffer for it, but it only made them closer. This way, Ruby could babble about her favourite anime and Yang could laugh about her excitement, and then lean over and kiss her cheek to make sure Ruby knew that she found it adorable, not annoying. The best of both worlds.

Dinner was nice and easy, and TV afterward just as uneventful. Gone was most of the weirdness and discomfort, and all the loose lips that nearly sank Ruby and Yang’s “ship” as Ruby had called it once or twice. Though Yang did need that explained at first, now she thought it was ridiculous to view the two of them as fictional characters, but to Ruby it was what she always did with the shows and movies she liked, so it naturally made sense for her.

“If that makes sense to you, then it makes sense to me,” Yang muttered as they snuggled into Ruby’s bed together. “Just don’t slip up and say anything about it in front of Dad.”

“Hey, I’ve been really good, haven’t I?” she protested. “Mom’s the one who’s doing worse. But she was way better tonight.”

Yang pressed her face in a little closer to Ruby’s neck as she hummed her agreement. Tonight, she just wanted to hold her. Though being that close to her did make her want to do more, she didn’t think it was necessary to do so every single day they were together.

“Mmm,” Ruby said with a smile as she held Yang’s arms around her body. Then she chuckled very quietly, “Oh, hello…”

“Ruby, don’t,” Yang muttered, though she clearly wasn’t that upset. When she felt a warm ass grinding back and forth, she giggled and said again, “I mean it, cut it out.”

“Why? I think somebody down there likes it…” But when Yang didn’t respond, she stilled and asked in a less flirty voice, “Why?”

“I dunno. Just… wanna take a day off. Maybe I’m weird, but today’s been so much fun, just hanging out with you. Kinda like the idea of keeping this memory separate.”

At those words, Ruby rolled to look at her again, smiling very slightly. “I get it. I mean, I’d still love to get you off, but I follow your brain-train. You like having PG-rated memories with me, too.”

“I really do,” Yang sighed, glad that she understood. Ruby’s little kiss took her by surprise, but it was a chaste, sweet little kiss. “Mmm… thanks, Rubes.”

“Anytime. I love you - all of you, not just my little buddy down there.”

Giggling, Yang grinned against Ruby’s face. “Your little buddy, huh? Sounds like you wanna dress her up in doll clothes and have tea parties.”

“Would… you be into that?” But Yang’s only response was to tickle her.

After showering and a late breakfast, the two girls set themselves up in the living room to do their beautification rituals. The coffee table was pushed forward a little to make way for them to sit there, it being a little easier than trying to do it on the couch or loveseat, and a mediocre crime drama was pulled up on Netflix to have going in the background. Ruby had mentioned some anime she liked, but it was decided that it would be too interesting to be able to ignore while focusing on the other stuff.

“You’d really wanna go back to the comic book shop?” Ruby was asking as she finished painting Yang’s toenails. Her fingernails were still wet, and she was blowing on them herself while Ruby worked down below. On each hand or foot, the middle was yellow, next two out from that orange, and the ones on the ends red, imitating fire; that part was Ruby’s idea.

“Sure,” Yang said, trying not to smile so she didn’t disrupt the moisturising face mask. It felt cold and gross, but she wanted to let it do its thing before she happily yanked it off. “Maybe I’ll find a t-shirt with that cool motorcycle from the movie. And then afterward, maybe we can grab a burger? Seems like we haven’t had straight-up nasty fast food the whole time I’ve been down here…”

“Ooh! I know a place that has great burgers, we can totally do that!”

It was harder to keep the grin away now, but she shook her head as she chuckled, “You’re too damn cute.” As Ruby finished the top coat and started blowing on them, Yang went back to blowing on her own. After a minute of that, she asked, “Hey, um… I also wanna stop by a jewellery store.”

“Really?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. “Why?”

“O-oh, I just… I was thinking I don’t have very much, and I look too, like… butch? So I just wanted to see if I could find some fun stuff.” It was a little white lie, but she hoped Ruby would forgive her eventually.

“Sure, yeah. There’s probably some places like that around by the comic shop.”

“Cool.” Then Ruby’s lips dipped a little too low and she kissed Yang’s toe. Laughing, she asked, “What are you doing?”

But Ruby only shrugged, going back to blowing the polish dry. Soon enough, they were, and she came up to plunk down next to Yang. “Masks off?”

“Yeah. One, two… three!” As they peeled them off, they both let out an “ewwwww” and then held them out at arm’s length. “Damn, but that was awful.”

Shivering, Ruby grabbed them and threw them in the plastic shopping bag they had designated as “trash” for now. “I kinda like it, but yeah, I’m done. Okay, so… my nails?”

“Sure,” Yang said, taking up Ruby’s hand. But Ruby pulled it back with a little smirk. “What?”

“Let’s do these first.” She scooted back and wiggled her toes about a foot away from Yang’s face. When she pushed them away, she whined, “Awww…”

“I told you to cut that out,” she said with a roll of her eyes. But when Ruby continued to pout, she sighed. “Fine. I guess it doesn’t matter if I do your toes before your fingers.”

“YAY!” Yang sighed while Ruby settled her heels against her thighs, waiting for Yang to begin. But when she didn’t, she asked, “What? You wanna give me a different colour?”

There was a slight pause as Yang’s eyes remained pointed down at her feet as if she were lost in thought. Shaking her head, she said in a distant voice, “No… I just… I have this strange feeling…” She picked up one of the ankles. “I don’t know what’s coming over me… I think… I think I need…”

“Huh? Yang, what are-” But when Yang started biting her foot all over, she cackled and thrashed around, “YANG STOP! No, nonono, you can’t! Not again!!!”

“But I can’t stop!” Yang called out as she nibbled and Ruby squealed, trying to escape. “Your feet are just SO IRRESISTIBLE!”

“Okay, OKAY, I get it, y- AHAHAHA! You don’t have a thing, you don’t have a thing!”

They were still wrestling with each other, just barely not knocking over the bottles of polish, when a voice from off to the side asked, “What the hell has gotten into you two?”

“O-oh, Mom!” Ruby half-giggled, half-sniffled. “I’m sorry, did we mess up your work?”

Summer shook her head with a bemused smile in place, hands on her hips through her silk robe. “No, no, don’t worry. Finished all that up about ten minutes ago. I was just about to get a glass of limeade and head out onto the deck for a while. You two want to join me?”

Yang resisted the urge to say ‘Depends on if you’ll have clothes on’ and just shook her head. “Nah, we’re having a spa-day. Maybe later?”

“Mom, you should paint your nails with us and stuff!” Ruby said with a smile as she sat up.

“No thank you. I want to make sure I get some sun in during the peak hours.”

“But I thought that didn’t start until after lunch.”

“Well…” Shrugging, she went into the kitchen, still not quite answering. As she opened the fridge, she asked, “What kind of spa-things are you doing?”

“Face masks and nail-painting, lotions. Maybe henna later? And we were gonna do pumice stones, but all that running around on the beach… I don’t have any callouses, really.”

The woman nodded along as she poured herself a glass. She held up the pitcher, looking at Yang and Ruby to ask silently if they wanted any, and they both shook their heads. “Sounds like fun. But I don’t want to intrude.”

“You won’t be! Just hang with us for a little bit, and then you can go out and cook yourself.” Yang laughed at the way Ruby had phrased that, and Ruby grinned and shrugged.

“Okay, but I really don’t need a face mask; I put mine on at night.” The woman hesitated, then shrugged and walked into the living room. “I’m not sitting on the floor, though. I might not be a grandmother, but I’m definitely too old for my butt to survive that hard floor.”

“Definitely not a grandmother,” Yang remarked. Afterward, she realised she probably shouldn’t have said that, but they were trying to work past the mistakes that had been made, after all. Making jokes was the easiest way to do that.

Ruby handed Yang one of the pumice stones and picked the other up for herself. When Yang raised her eyebrow, she said, “What?”

“Like, are we double-teaming your mom’s feet? What am I using this on?”

“Yeah, we are.” The other two were quiet, so Ruby looked between them and said, “So she can go outside sooner. Right? You take that one, and-”

“Alright, alright, makes sense,” Yang half-laughed as Summer slipped out of her flip-flop and offered the foot to her. She definitely felt a lot weirder about this than about working on Ruby’s, but not to the degree that she couldn’t start in.

The elder woman sighed as the two pampered her, leaning back and sighing. “Mmm… thank you, girls. You didn’t have to do this for me, but it is appreciated.” She twitched a little at one swipe of the stone. “Heh… tickles a little.”

“So Mom,” Ruby said as they worked on the slight callouses, which were pretty negligible to begin with, “we were thinking about going into town and hitting the comic shop again after this. Um… is that cool? I know we’re out a lot of the time, but-”

“No, no,” she sighed. “That’s fine. To be honest… now I’m almost more worried when you’re here than when you’re out shopping. For… reasons discussed.”

Yang dipped her head lower in guilt. Sure, Summer hadn’t said it in a cruel tone or anything; she just stated a fact. Now that she and Ruby were sleeping together, of course her mother would be wary of them being alone somewhere private enough that they could get up to mischief.

“Oh, Mom,” Ruby sighed with a roll of her eyes. “We’re taking care of each other. Isn’t that what’s important?”

“Yeah, and I’m worried about you ‘taking care of each other’ a little too much.” But when Yang came to a stop, breathing a little faster and more shallow, the woman prodded her nose with her big toe. “Hey.”

“Hm?”

Summer’s eyes weren’t exactly happy, but they were piercing into Yang’s with intent as she smiled very slightly. “I’m teasing. Well… I’m also being honest, but mostly teasing about it. Sorry if I really made you feel bad.”

“O-oh. Well…” Yang never finished her sentence; she just started sanding again.

As if hoping to change the subject, Ruby put down her stone and picked up a few bottles of polish. “Umm… what colour do you want, Mom?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” the woman said with a grateful smile. “Um… a cool colour, like a turquoise?”

“That’s such an old mom colour,” she teased. “What about… bright red? I’m gonna do mine with this!” She held up the one she meant. When the woman reluctantly turned her eyes up toward the ceiling, Ruby hopped up onto the couch next to her and reached for one of her hands. “This’ll be great, you’ll see!”

“And what am I doing down here now?” Yang asked. “Since you’re in charge, I guess.”

“Keep pumice-ing!”

So Yang did. When she finished the first foot, she took over where Ruby had left off with the other one. As she did, she occasionally glanced up at Ruby’s painting job, listening to them chat about Dad and school, other mundane things. Most of the time, her eyes remained focused on the goal. She had to admit, Summer’s feet were nearly as cute as Ruby’s, and no less so when viewed up close. She took good care of them, as she did with the rest of her body and health. On the other hand…

Was that a weird thought to be entertaining? Was it Ruby’s insistence that she had a thing that was messing with her? She had never thought feet were ‘ugly’, exactly; just that they were feet. Those few moments of interest that her half-sister had “picked up on” seemed to give her the impression that it was a lot deeper than that. Maybe she just liked teasing her, or just thought feet were funny in general and that, for that reason, it was fun to tease Yang about it.

“Alright, I have to admit that was a good choice,” Summer was saying, admiring the first coat as Ruby blew on them to get them to dry so she could put on top coat. “They look nice, Ruby. Thank you.”

Yang spared a glance up at them as she uncapped the lotion and saw Ruby’s cheeks bunched in a genuine grin. “Hey, it’s… no big deal. Just wanted to make my mom feel as good as she already looks.”

“Stop buttering me up!” She elbowed Ruby, who only giggled. Then she twitched and gasped, “OH! Oh, that’s cold!”

“Sorry!” Yang hissed through her teeth. “I didn’t warm it up first!”

Sighing, Summer waved a hand. “No, it’s fine. Just surprised me.” Then she relaxed into the sensation of the fruity-scented goop being rubbed into her skin. “Mmm…”

“You said I’m buttering you up,” Ruby snickered as she began putting on the top coat. “But it’s Yang earning the brownie points down there, right?”

“She is, she is. Very seriously… you didn’t have to do this for me. Either of you, but you even less, Yang. I appreciate it.”

The praise and gratitude made Yang’s face heat up. Even though she was still a little upset with her for what she tried to do the other morning, she knew that Summer was still disgusted that the two of them were physically intimate. When their options were to either hold grudges, or try to move on, the second thing was a lot more appealing. Ruby’s mother putting forth that effort meant a lot to her.

Then Yang pushed into her sole a little more than she meant to, and heard a groan from Summer that made her look up. But her eyes were closed. Ruby didn’t seem to have noticed, either, intent on finishing up the clear coat. Her mother only looked very relaxed, but the actual groan had sounded like something else for a brief instant.

“There,” Ruby sighed as she capped the bottle. Then she glanced at Yang, and happened to see her ruddy-faced and blinking in mild surprise. “Hm?”

Yang shrugged just a little and turned back to massaging the lotion into Summer’s foot. She felt a little silly, but she also knew that it was for an innocent enough reason. Well, innocent enough as far as they could be after all they’d been through in the past few days.

“You girls are magic,” Summer sighed in a supremely relaxed voice. Finally, she opened an eye and looked at Ruby, already looking regretful before she continued, “Sorry… I know this is selfish after you two have been so nice, but could you help me get a drink of my limeade? So I don’t mess up my nails.”

“Sure.” Ruby did as she was asked, tipping the drink up for her mom. A couple of drips did run down her chin and neck, but not as much as it could have been. “Oh, hang on! I’ll get that for you!”

As she popped up to get a paper towel, Yang smiled after Ruby. She really was the sweetest girl who would never hurt a fly. If she hadn’t been in love with her already, it might have happened in that small, random moment. She was just too perfect to be believed.

“Ohhh, that’s so good,” Summer was sighing, flexing her ankle. It wasn’t intentional, but it did bring Yang back to focus on her job. “You didn’t have to massage me, either.”

With a shrug, she said, “Hey, might as well while I’m putting the lotion on, right?” Then Ruby came back to blot at her spill. “Did you wanna help me with the other one?”

“Actually… I gotta go to the bathroom.” The way Ruby said it was a little odd, but she was smiling at Yang. “I think you got this. Just… finish that and then paint her nails. I’ll help you if you’re not done when I get back.”

“Alright, honey,” her mother said lazily, not giving Yang a chance to reply. “Thank you again.”

Her eyebrows were raised at Ruby as if to ask “What?” but Ruby ignored that, just waving at the two of them as she padded off to the bathroom. All she said in an airy voice over her shoulder was, “Have fuuuuun!”

Yang had just finished and reached to pick up the lotion to start in on the other foot when Summer said, “You can stop, you know.”

“What? No, it’s cool, I don’t mind.”

“Well, I mind.” Her voice had been hard, but when Yang flinched from its impact, she frowned. “It’s not… I didn’t mean that I don’t want to you to touch me because you’re ‘beneath’ me, or anything like that. Just that… you and I are still…” Another sigh, this one more discontented.

“I know,” she said, staring down at the two feet, one shining from lotion, the other not. “I’m sorry for… some of what I said. But hey, I figure… we both messed up, a little? And-”

“Stop. Just… yes, we have made mistakes, and disappointed each other, and I nearly hurt you in a way I regret deeply. We’ve covered that. All I was trying to say is that it’s not necessary for you to try ‘making nice’ with me when Ruby’s not in the room.”

The words hurt, though Yang fully understood why she was saying them. In the end, she opened the lotion and squeezed some into her hand.

“Listen. You’re kinda right, but… I mean, there’s no reason we can’t be nice to each other, I guess. And I seriously don’t mind. Like, maybe if you walked in here and told me to put lotion on you, I’d feel weird about it, but we were already doing a spa thing, right? So it’s like… no big.”

Summer merely stared at her. Yang didn’t dare start in again without her approval, so she sat there, as well. Then she shrugged and gestured for her to continue.

“That Ruby. I guess she was ordering us to have fun with this while she was gone. Trying to make everyone ‘happy’. I don’t know how I raised a daughter who’s that much sweeter than I am; must be her dad’s influence.”

“Oh, that,” Yang snorted as she shook her head. “Ehh… I think she meant something else. But like, maybe you’re right; maybe she just really wants us to get along.”

“What else could she have meant?” When Yang didn’t answer, feeling trapped by the things she could possibly say, Summer raised her other foot to nudge Yang’s shoulder. “That wasn’t a joke about you catching me sunbathing, was it? Or about…”

That was referring to the terrible near-miss of two mornings ago. Yang shook her head vigorously. “No, no, she’d never joke about that. But you know that. Um…” There was really no way out. “She’s just teasing me about something stupid.”

“Really? Maybe it’s not so stupid if she’s teasing you. My Ruby tends to be pretty perceptive.”

That definitely didn’t make Yang feel any better, or her cheeks any less hot. If Summer was right about that, then she was really in trouble! She’d feel even stupider if Ruby hadn’t meant anything like this, after all, but she had a feeling it was the same old subject.

“For some reason,” she said as she massaged a little harder, “she got it into her head that I’m into this certain thing. And she’s wrong, but the more she teases me about it, the more embarrassed I feel.”

At the tail end of a long groan, Summer asked, “What kind of thing? Is this about the comic shop?”

“Not that kind of thing. Like…” Grunting in annoyance, she blurted, “She thinks I’m into feet. And I’m not! Like, never have been, and I don’t get that as being a thing, so… I don’t know why she keeps teasing me!”

“Really?” Summer asked. She was quiet for a moment, and Yang was sure she was about to get some kind of lecture, or a disgusted noise. At first, she managed to keep up the massage, but her movements halted when she realised there was no further response. She finally looked up to see that her stepmother was just watching her, patiently waiting for a reply.

“Y-yes. I don’t even know how it started; she just kinda asked if I liked hers out of nowhere, and I didn’t say ‘no’ fast enough, and ever since then…”

A low “Mmm” as the woman mulled that over. Yang couldn’t help noticing that she seemed to be flexing her toes back and forth a little more than she had been before. “Well, I don’t understand that being a ‘thing’, either, but I do know it’s pretty common. Meaning it’s the fetish you hear about most often, not that everyone has it, of course.”

“But she can’t give me a thing just by like, mentioning it, can she?! That’s crazy!”

“I don’t know how that works,” Summer laughed. When Yang just ducked her head and began kneading faster, she relaxed into the sensation. “Ooh… but I do know I’m enjoying this. You have a gift there.”

At first, Yang didn’t answer. She was too busy trying to ignore the near-sexual noises coming from the older woman, the wriggling of little appendages from between her thumbs and fingers. For a minute or so, that was all that happened; massaging lotion into skin. Even if Yang was completely mortified that Summer knew about this unwelcome insistence of Ruby’s.

Then Summer finally whispered, “I think that’s good.” When Yang blinked up at her, she elaborated, “The lotion. Massaging me. It felt wonderful, but I think you’ve done your job. You could move on to the nail polish.”

“O-oh. Sorry, I wasn’t- yeah, I’ll get on that.” But while she was fetching the bottles, she got another question that sidetracked her.

“Do you like my feet?”

“What? Uh… sure.” No sense saying otherwise.

“Tell me,” Summer asked, voice carefully neutral as she raised a toe to push into Yang’s nose. This time, it stayed there. “Don’t worry about the answer, about making me feel disgusted, or what Ruby would think. What would you do with them right now if you had no consequences?”

That sounded familiar. Ruby had done much the same when she first wanted to give her a hug, but had been suppressing the instinct. Though she couldn’t believe she had any such instincts in this area in the first place! “Um, I’d do nothing with them.” No answer. She forced herself to do as Summer asked and be as honest as she could. “Like, massaging them for you was nice, and um, I’m glad it helped you relax, but… I don’t need to do anything weird, alright? It’s all good.”

“I won’t tell Ruby,” she promised, a hand up as if taking an oath. “This is just for your benefit, to check in with yourself. You can do whatever you want with one or both of my feet. No thinking, just answer quickly: what would you do?”

Clearly, Summer wanted there to be more to this. Or at least for her not to blow off the question. Her mind flicked back to Ruby finishing up her own toenails a little while earlier. It was the first thing she could think of, so she used that. “Kiss them?”

“There,” Summer said with an encouraging smile, just like a lot of her elementary school teachers wore. That did nothing to make her feel less embarrassed, but at least she felt a tiny stirring of pride that she had pleased an elder; it helped balance out her shame. “See? That wasn’t so bad. Now, is there anywhere special you’d want to kiss?”

The woman’s foot was still in front of Yang’s face. Did she want a demonstration? Hoping to get it over with, she leaned down and kissed the bottoms of Summer’s middle toes. It felt fine, not like anything special… but the whole situation was still driving her insane.

“Oh, I didn’t think you’d really…” But her words cut off with a slight sigh. “Mmm… you’re too sweet. Makes me feel even worse that I tried to trap you; I clearly was very mistaken about what kind of girl you are, Yang. I apologise.”

“N-no big,” Yang insisted as she unscrewed the nail polish, still blushing like mad. “You were trying to protect Ruby, and I get it. Like, I want that, too.”

“We can agree on that, at least.” As she watched Yang get to work, she asked, “Did you think about kissing my toes before I asked at all?”

Shaking her head, she held the foot still so she could do a decent job, trying to balance the open bottle between two fingers at the same time. “Nah. Just that they were pretty. I’ve never wanted to do anything to feet in my whole life, I swear.”

“But you thought mine were pretty? Well, thank you.” Cursing herself for the slight slip of honesty, Yang tried to refocus on the task at hand. “Odd as it is to have them kissed, I can’t pretend I don’t appreciate a compliment like that.” After a few more seconds, she changed the subject very slightly. “And the massage. You have very skilled hands.”

“Thanks,” she snorted. “Comes from giving my mom foot and shoulder massages after work some days. Sometimes it helps her be less crabby.”

“Lucky woman. Tai does that for me on occasion while we’re watching TV, but not terribly often.” After a few seconds, she suddenly offered, “I always wondered what the true reason was for Tai and her splitting up… he always just told me it was ‘personality compatibility issues’, but I also thought it might be something a bit deeper that he didn’t want to burden me with. But I suppose it’s none of my business.”

Shrugging off the darker subjects, Yang painted more furiously as she said, “Dunno. Mom hates talking about it, and I figure Dad does almost as much. But I’d be lying if I said you’re anywhere near the raging bitch she can be most of the time, so… probably mostly what he said.”

Around when Summer was still nodding, not having expected a much different answer, Ruby returned with a mischievous little grin. “How did we do?”

“Fine,” Summer told her with a smirk of her own. “Yang is painting my attractive toes.”

As she sat down, Ruby whispered, “Is that what she called them?”

“No, it isn’t. And you should stop trying to give poor Yang a complex she doesn’t already have!”

“You told on me?!” Ruby gasped, and Yang rolled her eyes. It was almost as bad that Summer told on Yang, but it was a minor detail by this point; the cat was already out of the bag. “Aww, but I wasn’t trying to do that! I just think she already has one, and I thought if I-”

“Well, it wasn’t very nice. Yang looked horrified at having to admit what you were talking about. I wound up teasing her without really meaning to, and I feel like I have done enough of that for one week.”

Seeing that Ruby was starting to look chagrined, Yang felt obligated to step in. “Hey, it’s no big deal. Pretty much, I just kissed her toes, and then we went on with painting.”

However, that had been the wrong thing to do. Ruby’s eyebrows shot up and she whispered, “What? Really? So I was right!”

“No, you weren’t! She just, like… we were talking about it…” However, the more she tried to rationalise the kiss, the less she found she could. All she had to tell Summer was that she didn’t want to do anything and stick to saying that; why had she said she wanted to kiss them?

“I talked her into it,” Summer covered for her, patting Ruby’s arm. “When she told me what you’ve been doing to get a rise out of her. And I wouldn’t have told you about that part, because I promised.” Now Yang felt stupid for having volunteered that information on her own. “Though I have to admit, she’s very good with feet; mine have never felt better.”

A few seconds passed as Yang blew on the red paint, trying to distract herself by doing her “job” for the moment. The more they talked about her and this topic, the more aware she was of how close she was to Ruby’s mother’s admittedly-pretty toes, handling them, staring at them. When had she started thinking of them as “pretty”?! It wasn’t something she had expected to ever care that much about.

“Well, I’m jealous,” Ruby said with a pout that Yang could hear as pretend, so she felt no need to stop and address it. “I’ve been trying to get her to kiss mine for a while.”

“Dude!” she half-laughed as she finally did look up. “I was just chewing on yours a minute ago!”

That made Summer raise her eyebrows. “Wow. And you were acting like I was making some kind of breakthrough with helping you figure that out, and you’re already nibbling on Ruby’s feet? I feel used.”

Gulping, she glanced between the two play-glaring women. “Wait… no, that wasn’t- when I did it to Ruby, I was making fun of how much she keeps saying I want to… I’m not really-”

“I think you should kiss mine now,” Ruby needled her as she pushed her feet into Yang’s face. Though Yang shrugged it off at first, she was insistent. “Come on! Just so we’re even!”

“How is that even?” she complained. But in the end, she could find no reason not to, so she gave the toes a quick kiss. Ruby switched feet, so she kissed those, as well. “There. Now leave me alone so we can finish?”

“Not quite even,” Summer insisted, raising her other foot that had been neglected before. Knowing that she was blushing worse than she ever had in her life, Yang kissed those toes, and she smiled evenly down at her. This time, she was definitely trying not to laugh at her, but she was also smiling fondly. Being able to play around like this was a positive step, even if it was a little odd.

“Hers probably taste old,” Ruby remarked, earning her a little elbow-nudge from her mother.

“They taste like lotion,” Yang snorted, blowing on the paint to make sure it was completely dry. As she grabbed for the topcoat, she got another faceful of Ruby’s feet, so she rolled her eyes and grunted, “WHAT?!”

“I just want more kisses. No reason.”

“Okay, okay, but then I have to put on the topcoat.” So she gave Ruby’s soles a few kisses, and she listened to the two of them chuckle. As she started giving the paint job a protective layer, she asked, “Why is it so funny to you, huh?”

“Because you should probably just tell us ‘no’,” Ruby was cackling, letting Yang finish up. “But you’re not. It’s funny that you don’t think you have a thing.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, either way,” Summer told her daughter stubbornly, and Ruby nodded her agreement, though she looked a little reluctant to part with her source of entertainment. When Yang finished, she sighed and looked at her handiwork. “Alright… yes, I do think that will work nicely. Do you like them better painted or unpainted? Tai is a fan of unpainted.”

That had Yang curling her lip, and Ruby gasping, “DAD, TOO?!”

“No, not like that,” she snickered. “He just says that painted, they look ‘strange’; that’s it. Though it would be funny if it was a hereditary kink.”

“I don’t have a kink!” Yang tried to protest, but they ignored her. Actually, they didn’t; she would have preferred that. As if in direct response, one of them pressed a foot each into Yang’s face to silence her. And it worked; she instantly slapped her lips shut to keep from accidentally nibbling one or both of the soles.

“Ooh, look how lucky you are,” Ruby was cooing as she flexed her toes against Yang’s lip. “You’re the only girl to ever have both Rose women’s feet in her face at the same time!”

She was. And unbelievably… that knowledge, along with the whole of everything that had gone on before, was starting to turn her on. She hadn’t been aware of it up until that point; only that she was flustered. But by this point, the sheer absurdity of the moment paired with the soft sensation, plus the taboo of a mother-and-daughter combo, was affecting her libido in a way she REALLY didn’t appreciate. She’d been afraid that they would stink, but Ruby’s didn’t smell like much of anything, and Summer’s smelled like the fruit-based lotion and the acrid aroma of polish. Without that worry, it was somehow...

Nice?

“I think she’s enjoying this,” Summer remarked, as if they were watching a vaguely interesting documentary. But when Yang’s eyes flashed down and to one side, she frowned. “Yang, are you alright?”

“It’s fine,” Yang said gruffly, then winced at how annoyed she sounded. They weren’t doing anything that bad, really. “Just… you don’t have to laugh s-so much, I guess.”

“Yang is getting woody from the footies,” Ruby snorted. But Summer’s elbow quieted her. “What? I was just kidding. Yang knows I’m kidding.”

“I don’t think she does. And even so, clearly she’s having a little trouble with this, so we shouldn’t tease. Unless…” There was a slight smirk that had been absent for a while. “She likes the teasing, too.”

When Summer’s other foot drifted down to push into her erection through her shorts, Yang had to flinch very slightly. That seemed to be enough. Ruby glanced between them, then cautiously lowered her other foot to do the same, next to her mother’s on its other side. “Ooh… maybe she does.”

“Mmhh,” Yang couldn’t prevent herself from sighing anymore, rolling her hips into the slight contact. It held fast. They couldn’t be serious. How could they be right at home with doing this together?! Even for one person, it was a strange thing to do, much less as a mother-daughter team!

“Good God,” Summer breathed. For the first time since she had seen her on the deck, she looked flustered and aroused - without being angry the way she was that morning she tried to trap her. “I had no idea when we started that this would…”

“Mom?” Ruby whispered; of course Yang could hear her, but she was trying to keep her voice down. “Is this weird for us to… y’know… at the same time?”

“No weirder than anything else from this week. But… I am starting to think we should rethink this.” Drawing her toes back a few inches, she dipped her head lower to catch Yang’s gaze. “What would you like us to do? We can stop at anytime.”

“Um… y-yeah,” she whispered, though she was still thrusting against their feet below. “It’s kind of… intense, but I think I’m gonna lose my mind if this actually keeps going.”

“Alright. That’s all we needed to know, sweetie.” That was distinctly more maternal than she had been a moment ago. The foot that had been grinding against her arousal patted her hip slightly in consolation.

“Sorry, Yang,” Ruby replied, taking the cue from her mom and lowering both of her feet at once. Their concern soothed her irritation, and she nodded. “Um… maybe we could put lotion on you? Or I could; Mom wants to get back to her sunbathing. Right, Mom?”

“Right,” she sighed as she scooted forward to slip her feet back into her flip-flops. “I should do that, yes.”

“Wait.” Catching the foot that had been on her face, Yang brought it up to inspect the nails. “Looks like you’re done, yeah.” Then she gave the top a little kiss before dropping it so she could leave. A small apology for overreacting to what was, after all, some simple teasing.

But it meant more than she intended to her stepmother. The woman paused to brush her hand over Yang’s hair. “You’re too sweet. Maybe if you keep that up, I’ll let you kiss my feet again tomorrow.” As she stood, she picked up her limeade and paced off to the deck. Honestly, Yang couldn’t tell if she was kidding or not.

Once the door was closed, Ruby sank to the floor and wrapped her arms around Yang. After a few seconds of wondering why she did that, she whispered, “I’m so sorry. Okay? I know I was teasing like, way too much, and then I got Mom doing it…”

“Yeah,” Yang agreed as she hugged back. “It’s not such a huge problem that you should feel bad, but like… I dunno, you went a little overboard. Maybe don’t do that again?”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated anyway, clinging tightly to her. “Mom said that, too, that I went too far. But like…” Clearing her throat, she said it in an almost fearful way. “You did kiss our feet… and I could tell it was turning you on. You could have come that way, right?”

Sighing, she tried to think of a way she could deny it. Ruby brushing over her bulge with one hand made that quite impossible. “Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean I’m comfortable with that whole thing. Especially both of you starting in at the same time, making fun of me. Why do you want me to like it so much?”

“I… huh. I really don’t know. I guess…” Ruby sat back on her legs, brow furrowed in thought for a moment. She hadn’t considered that very deeply, it seemed. “Well, it’s funny because they’re feet. Feet are funny to me, like butts. And I guess I also really liked what you said about liking all of me, but I figured that couldn’t be true. Like, maybe you don’t think I’m ugly anywhere, but that’s not the same thing as thinking like, my toes are sexy. My armpits are sexy, belly button. Weird stuff, right? So like…” A little shrug. “I guess I was testing you. Didn’t mean to be, though, I just wondered if I could tease you a little and find out whether or not you really did like my feet. And it was kinda funny to do, so that didn’t stop me. But I never meant to make you legit uncomfortable, I promise!”

That had taken a lot out of Ruby to think her way through her own actions, and she was being baldly honest. Yang knew she could do no less. “Yeah. I mean, I guess… I’ve never thought about feet like that before, and I haven’t been sure what you want me to do about it, anyway. Like, I started noticing your feet are cute the minute I got here, but before you started teasing me, that was it; like, you have a cute nose, too. But I don’t wanna fuck your nose!”

“Nah, I get you,” she giggled, reaching up to pet up and down Yang’s arm. At the same time, she crinkled her nose a little at the compliment. “Thinking something’s cute doesn’t mean you’re into doing stuff with it. Makes sense.”

“Good,” she sighed, running her hand through her bangs.

“Did you really like ‘em the moment you got here?”

Now it was right back to Yang feeling embarrassed. But Ruby’s expression was curious, no longer even remotely teasing or amused. That helped. “Y-yeah. Following you up the stairs, I didn’t want to look at your butt, so I looked at your feet… and they were cute, so it was only a little easier. Trust me when I say that staring at your ass would have been WAY worse, though.”

Ruby nodded. Then she whispered, “Yang?”

“What?”

“I really am sorry for being such a jerk about that. But… if you like my feet… it’s okay. Just makes me happy that you think so much of me is worth calling ‘cute’, okay? Nothing wrong with that.” As an afterthought, she added, “And my mom’s. Which is weird, but like, we’re already half-sisters so it seems pretty dumb of me to act grossed out by that.”

Rolling her eyes, Yang pulled her into a one-armed hug. “Dumbass. I’d really be fine if your mom stopped doing stuff like that sometime soon. Like, I’m not gonna miss it.”

“Whose feet are better?” When Yang only rolled her eyes in disgust, she pressed, “Which turned you on more?”

“Summer’s.”

“What?!”

“Well, I wasn’t expecting those!” Yang burst out in vague irritation, though she was smiling and blushing. “You’ve been bugging me with that for days, but I never expected your mom to do the same thing, okay?! I can’t help my reaction!”

Folding her arms over her chest, Ruby looked away in false offense. “Well, I’ll just have to step up my foot-game!”

“What does that even MEAN?!”

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Houseki no Kuni 3 - 6 | Girls’ Last Tour 3 - 6 | Boueibu OVA | Netjuu no Susume 6 | Juuni Taisen 7 | Mahoutsukai no Yome 6

Apparently there’s a bonus if you watch until the end of the 5th ep of Netjuu no Susume…I’ve seen it, or else I wouldn’t be telling you it exists.

I’ve rolled out the simulcast commentary tags for the seasonal shows that don’t have tags yet (aside from Netjuu no Susume’s replacement when that time comes).

Plus, as you can see in the title…there’s the Boueibu OVA in this bundle of notes, for completion’s sake.

Houseki no Kuni 3

That snail sure is a lively thing.

Really? A poop joke? Well, that’s one way to rub Phos’s new state into Dia’s face.

…welp, not much to talk about this time, I guess.

Houseki no Kuni 4

What the heck? The snail has a type???

This OP is lovely. Its best aspect is the visuals, though. It sounds kind of plain compared to even Saturday Night Question (Netjuu no Susume).

That snail makes a nice wig for Master Kongo, doesn’t it?

I’m listening to this show for the first time, and Phos uses “boku”, interestingly enough.

The snail's urge to go back to its home in the sea reminds me that lots of Chinese people go back to their country for Chinese New Year. I wonder if the same sentiment is involved in both instances?

The ED is nice, but not as good as the OP.

Houseki no Kuni  5

Watermelon? I feel sorry for the gem which has that name.

Ahh! These jellyfish are cute (and practical)!

“No getting all weak-kneed now!” – Says Phos, who’s got legs potentially harder than their body.

Houseki no Kuni 6

Trust exercises. I did some with some members of my anime club once. (Haha.)

I noticed the spikes were blue, so they might be Sapphire. It’s kind of like Rabbit’s necromantistry (Juuni Taisen), but…in a slightly different form.

Girls’ Last Tour 3

Kanazawa???? *thinks about King’s Game, where the protag and the author share the surname Kanazawa*

There’s some extremely glaring CGI during this episode. For a moment, you can discern Chi’s made of CGI while in her Kettenkrad.

Please don’t ship the grown man with the loli.

That’s some grim humour they attempted with Kanazawa. Kinda like Zetsubou-sensei (Nozomu Itoshiki).

Boueibu OVA

I almost wasn’t going to cover this, because it’s an OVA, but hey, why not make an exception? This may be the last time we Boueibu fans can talk about this stuff again…(Plus I think I’ll have volume for the entire thing if I hurry.)

Haha, the volleyball scene. Notice En talks first.

Yumoto’s being basic as always. *sighs happily*

Trump, eh? The word for playing cards is trump, but…y’know?

(about “graduating in a storm of cherry blossoms” and En saying it sounds lonely) I was just about to say that, En. However, that may just be OVA feels speaking.

Itsumo Ichiban? Rememer that guy? Well, there’s Itsumo’s brother on Kin-chan’s list. You can tell because he’s literally Itsumo Nisan. Geddit?

(about Zundar’s meeting with Kin-chan) The manga! It was correct after all!

Yep, that’s exactly how it went 2 years ago. In fact, I think it might be recycled content…(?)

Wombat speaks very formally. I learnt about keigo in the past year so I only picked up on that this time around.

The word used by Aki is “sad” according to the subs, but hazukashii means “embarrassing”, which puts a new spin on it.

They’re literally just using montages of s1, which is why I want Pony Canyon to bundle the OVA with s2. It’s more money, but for the consumer, it’s more worth it. However…having Bi…Egoism in an anime segment at all is new.

Akoya must be popular in the fandom. Either that or the staff are acknowledging how unloved he is.

Yay! It’s Star the VEPPer!

It’s good that each of these side characters is getting their own montage. Plus we’re getting official translations of the character songs, which is the best thing you can get for free when character songs aren’t distributed normally in most cases.

4th wall breaking! I guess you never expected that, eh? (Actually, you probably did, considering it’s been a montage for almost everyone now.)

(I love En’s little snarks in the middle of the song.) The only one left after this is Atsushi, right? Update: Oops, forgot Kin-chan. Sorry Kin-chan.

I never really realised Atsushi’s song was so hard rock compared to En’s more pop-like one.

“But do I really have that fire inside of me?” – I think I heard the song go atsui which is a real funky (in a good way) pun on Atsushi’s name.

Aww, they missed out in such a good pun! Haru went haru and Aki went aki. The translator didn’t pick up on that though…aww.

Whoa! Yumoto got all scary! Botan Yuzuru though…gotta look into that later for magicalgirlsandcerulean.

This (Spanish?) guitar reminds me of this track from The Dog Island.

A-ha! This is what you get when you translate the Japanese in the ads too.I was quite right indeed, although it really is the dang 132nd graduation ceremond.

It’s literally a button monster. Don’t wanna mash his buttons! (I bet you’re all groaning from my jokes, ahaha…)

Dadacha’s voice sounds kinda ridiculous now because Yasumoto is clearly using the deeper voice he normally uses for Zundar.

Notice the monster’s face is made from the character 高 (the first character in the Japanese word for “high school”).

Salty Sol is still salty after all this time…sad life.

That train station is the same one from the beach episode!

I’ve seen enough spoilers so I know where this is going…I already identified in the spoiler chat what Wombat is going to catch as a reference to a Kenji Miyazawa work.

This train is somewhat obviously CGI…

Spinach curry? When’d Wombat eat that?

Ths slideshow appears to be all the clean art for everything they’ve ever produced in the Boueibu canon! Even events and collabs!

“So wipe away your tears.” – I’m not crying, you are…*tear leaks from corner of eye*

I don’t recognise two of those pictures…(EnAtsu beach pic and a yukata one with the Defence Club on the roof.)

Oh…my…it’s over? Well, frankly I was expecting the fandom’s end in 2015…so, here’s to the future. Farewell, and remember: love is forever! Separations are only a new beginning!

Netjuu no Susume 6

That was a really bad Glico man in the back (of Koiwai)…

I think something’s wrong with my eye. It just gave off a few tears…(kidding tone)

Whose car is this that Morimori-chan is sitting in??? Update: It’s a taxi. Whoops.

I think Morimori-chan used the word douryou (colleagues, coworkers) instead of employees. The word for employees would probably be very different.

Nikunokiya??? (thinks about Kinokuniya)

(Koiwai goes Ai no chikara ne…) Boueibu reference…kind of.

Notice Koiwai said he was low on health in the text but he said zombie in the Japanese. That’s where Fruits de Mer comes in for Morimori-chan.

“There’s no way I’d say something like that!”

I think the cup this ED is new. Plus the headphones.

Oh! I spotted Morimori-chan with the medium length hair in the background of Sakurai’s bit of the ED.

There are some blurry pictures of Koiwai in the ED and they’re so hilarious!!!

So the ED actually evolves along with the show. Interesting.

Juuni Taisen 7

Rabbit stores his blades in his tail. That’s weird, but funny.

Literally, the episode title is “Dragon Head, Snake Tail”.

Dragon and Snake really are like the Beppus! I keep thinking that. I want a crossover fic now…

Tatsu = dragon.

I only just realised but…a naga is a snake. Nagayuki is the younger bro, isn’t he? Dangit, Nisio Isin! You bested me again.

150 doesn’t have any significance in regards to the number 12 now does it?

It’s Rabbit! Who’s not wearing his trademark booty shorts or high heels! Rabbit in a waiter’s outfit is really something, though.

“Hot guy”? Not by most people’s standards Tora/Kanae, considering he’s currently missing his head.

It’s tiger versus…aww. It’s not tiger vs dragon…

How can Ushii still talk after being strangled by Snake’s arm???

Whoa! Incendiary components are cool in Bond movies, but fiery liquid? That’s a step up!

Mahoutsukai no Yome 6

Admit it. You saw it in the next ep preview (unless you skipped it or read the manga)…It’s TITania time!

“She touched me for the first time.” – Elias, what a dork you are…

The birbs around Chise are so fluffy and adorable! It’s cute.

Geez, it really is TITania…these fanservice wiggles are destroying my Mahoutsukai no Yome experience…

Seing the Faerie Queen facepalm…is something else. *sweatdrops*

In the same way I want a koala sheep from Avatar the Last Airbender, I want one of those sheep bug things.

“Every creature of the night, including she and you, are my adorable little children.” – No wonder you have such big hooters, TITania…

A wild SIMON appeared!…Thought we’d forgotten about him for the rest of the episode. He would’ve made a better brick joke if his return were prolonged, y’know.

Strange question, but do priests wear pants?

Girls’ Last Tour 4

I’m listening to Ugoku Ugoku for the first time and it’s…strangely catchy…

That thing with the face is really creepy…

That thing is a stone statue???

“What IS cheese?” – Considering sometimes cheese tastes pretty bad, I don’t blame you for not knowing what cheese is.

Couldn’t they check the camera for what Kanazawa was doing with it?

I just saw the number 3230 on the camera’s inside frame for taking pictures (whatever you call it). That might be the year this show is set…

Notice the word for temple that’s used is jiin, a Buddhist temple. A Shinto version of that might be jinja.

Kanazawa was voiced by Akira Ishida? The guy who did Kiku (SGRS)??? NOOOOOOO! I missed a prime opportunity! I’ll have to go back for it later.

The ED is even more catchy than the OP. Is that even possible???

The camera breaks in the ED…that’s so ominous…

That post-ED scene was cute. A little bit.

Girls’ Last Tour 5

The slightly-electronic-sounding OP doesn’t quite fit the show, does it?

The phrase used was definitely ie dake ni. I’m not quite sure what that means, but…okay. I’ll just believe the subs on that one.

I wonder if Sentai is planning to dub these…I can imagine this show being dubbed.They wouldn’t need to pay too many VAs for it, for one thing.

Akogare is the word for desire or longing. It would be no surprise f there was an akogaru or akogarareru made from it as well.

Notice it’s “Yay!”, but with the word for house (ie) emphasised.

What is this fish dream, a metaphor for lesbians…?

The soundtrack guys must’ve had lots of fun striking cans or whatever.

I think this ED is different to the one last ep…Its name appears to be Amadare no Uta and it’s sung by the main VAs.

I bet the soundtrack guys hit a bell or two there…

Girls’ Last Tour 6

Oh no! It’s an Anime Scientist! Last time we had one, it was Shinawa (Kado), and you know how badly that went…

Interesting that the word for “takeoff” is “separation [from the] ground” literally.

Okay! I’m caught up to the weekly episodes now!

[kairiofknives]

Trading Hearts (Part 1)

Summary:  It's been months since Akira won his freedom and saved the world. Now, back in his home town, separated from his friends and girlfriend, Futaba, Akira finds that the place he grew up doesn't necessarily feel like home anymore. Back in Tokyo, Futaba starts to piece together that Akira isn't exactly happy with his change in scenery. She resolves to do what she can for the man who changed her life, whether he is aware of this endeavor or not.

Warning: Spoilers for end of game

Read on AO3

Sometimes Futaba wondered why she or Kana-chan ever wanted to go back to the eternal prison of damnation and lack of intelligent thought that was high school. It was a societal norm that functioning members of society attended high school before acquiring more practical real life paths to take, but the longer she spent here, the more she was convinced that this was merely slow method of torture than a useful method of learning anything.

She'd seen much weirder things to be certain.

To: Kana Banana

The true meaning of survival of the fittest is he/she who can get through high school without offing themselves. I'm convinced.

To: Phantom Leaves (group)

What even is the point of first year biology? Almost none of this falls within the realm of actual science. I would know.

From: Kana Banana

Your school doesn't seem to do too well on that front then.  No offense.

From: Skull Bash in Phantom Leaves (group)

Ur doin better than I did already Futaba. I didn't even know what subject I was in half the time.

From: Cafe Noir in Phantom Leaves (group)

Should you not all be paying attention? :)  You wouldn't want me to tell Mako-chan, would you? :) :) :)

From: Skull Bash in Phantom Leaves (group)

!!!!

Suffice to say, Futaba was bored. Starting high school had seemed like a tremendous first step towards getting herself to be normal again. Sure, she'd be a grade behind, but at least she had a path to start moving down. It was almost laughable that she was managing to sit in a classroom full of students, after taking a crowded train to get here, and wasn't freaking out at all. A year ago, leaving her room was an impossibility. Now, she felt the smallest tinges of panic when people pressed on her too hard on the train, got a bit sweaty when strangers talked to her for too long, but neither feeling was enough to derail her day. She felt like a real life person most of the time now and it was all because of...

From: Key Item

As long as you're getting good test scores, it doesn't really matter if you pay attention in class.  Word of advice though: beware of flying chalk. It's got a 90% chance of critical.

...a wonderful, adorable nerd who always knew how to make her day better.

To: Key Item

Gasp! I'll make sure I put my best armor on then. Thanks for the intel. Btw, aren't you supposed to be slaving over a midterm paper?

She couldn't help but grin to herself. One of her biggest worries starting this year had been that despite the massive amounts of support she knew she could get from the other members of the now disbanded Phantom Thieves, Akira Kurusu had moved back to Kyoto to finish out high school in his hometown. She would always credit her revival from the corpse of her previous self as a victory for the entire group, but it was truly Akira who had stayed with her every step of the way. His warm presence by her side made pushing herself out of her comfort zone not only less scary, but infinitely more rewarding. They'd spent countless hours cultivating their bond both between one another and with Sojiro. Sojiro, Akira and Morgana were her family. And the Phantom Thieves were the perfect extension to that family. She would have been more than content to stay in that perfect bubble of happiness forever.

Alas, after saving the world multiple times and nearly dying for the sake of doing so, Akira had finally been granted the freedom he so deserved and was finally free to resume the life that had been stolen from him by Shido. Futaba had been gutted to know Akira would be leaving, but no matter how much she wanted him to herself, she knew he deserved the chance to try to put his "normal" back together, the same way she was trying to fix her "normal".

Still, it sucked pretty bad to have to start one of the potentially scariest steps in her life without her combo best friend and boyfriend there to cheer her on.

As soon as concrete plans had been made with regards to Akira returning to Kyoto, Akira had insisted that if they intended to keep dating, they had to tell Sojiro. Futaba had suspected that perhaps her loving boyfriend had developed a death wish, but agreed anyway. She had envisioned having this conversation with her adoptive father many times, and each had ended in some sort of disaster.

Thus, she had been thoroughly shocked when Sojiro's reaction was to sigh and grumble "I don't like the idea of Futaba dating in general, but if it has to be anyone, I guess I couldn't have picked someone better." They had hashed out rules concerning their alone time and curfews while Akira was still in town, but Sojiro made it very clear that Akira was still a treasured part of their family and was still welcome at LeBlanc if he was ever in town. Needless to say, there was hardly a dry eye in the room.

So they had kept dating. The concern that they'd drift apart was a valid one, but luckily both of them were good about keeping up with Skype dates and keeping in contact via text and phone calls. High school had been going better than expected, the old Phantom Thieves group was still super close, having dinner at LeBlanc every Sunday, and her relationship with Akira still felt just as fun and relaxing as ever. All in all, Futaba really couldn't complain about her current life situation.

From: Key Item

Procrastination nation. Don't worry about it. It'll get done.

From: Key Item

How is that computer building project coming along?

...with one minor exception.

It hadn't seemed like such a big deal at first. She wasn't even really sure there was an issue in the beginning. But the more they talked, the more she started to realize that Akira did not want to talk about himself, at all. She could go on and on for days about every little detail of her own life, down to even absolutely insignificant things like that one time Sojiro bought almond milk, and Akira would always stay attentive. But anytime she directed these questions back at him, asking about his school or town or even what he did with his free time anymore, she was met with vague answers and then a swift redirection of conversation back to herself.

Fueled by the intrinsic desire to be connected to Akira's life in a more reciprocal fashion, Futaba began her newest mission: decode the life of Akira.

To: Key Item

What are you doing after school today?

From: Key Item

Nothing. Why?

To: Key Item

That's weird. You did so much stuff here like every single day. You'd better not be holding back on having fun just so we could talk!!

From: Key Item

I promise I'm not doing that.

From: Key Item

I'm still free though.

To: Key Item

...alright. Do you wanna Skype? Usual time?

From: Key Item

Sounds great.

Futaba sighed. This was going to be slightly harder than she had originally anticipated. That was fine though. She'd grab some intel from the friend group and then prepare her counterattack.

~~~~

"Hey, Ryuji. How often do you and Akira talk?"

Ryuji paused in his desperate destruction of what might have been a sandwich at one point, chewed thoughtfully, then spat "rrvydy, hy?"

Ann scrunched up her nose in distaste, scooting away from the boy in mock offense. "Eww. Stop. Please be like a normal human being for like ten seconds?"

Ryuji gulped loudly, smacking his lips, "Whatever floats your boat, Ms. Princess." He received a warning glare. "Fine, fine. Anyway, yeah, we talk on and off basically every day, why?"

Futaba fidgeted a bit, playing with the leftover rice from the curry Sojiro sent with her to school for lunch today. "I don't know. Anything seem off about him to you?"

This got Ann's attention. "Off, how Futaba?"

Futaba shook her head a bit, "it may be nothing, but it feels like he's avoiding talking to me about his own life right now? And I was wondering if you guys noticed it too."

"Oh man, I think I know what you mean!" Ryuji exclaimed, gesticulating wildly with filthy hands. "Once, I asked him if Kyoto had any good arcades. And he sent me a Google search instead of telling me about it himself. Like, what?"

Ann nodded, "I've never noticed it myself, but it doesn't seem completely out of his character. I mean, he never really wanted to talk about himself, even when he was here."

Futaba considered this for a moment. "He definitely would talk about himself to me, maybe not...full life story all the time, but he would tell me who he had been hanging out with and what he'd been up to. Now I can't even get that out of him. I'm wondering if something isn't wrong..."

Ryuji scoffed, "Naw man, ya know, I bet he's just trying to not make us miss him too much. I know I'd feel like shit if he was constantly going on and on about how much better his home is than here."

"Why?" Futaba asked, a bit upset by Ryuji's response, though glad he'd be that honest. "He has to stay there for a year. Don't you want him to enjoy that year? If he wants his life to go back to normal, I want him to succeed in that quest, ya know? I mean, he's done so much for us. Doesn't he at least deserve that...?"

Ryuji leaned back, slightly surprised. "Alright, alright, calm down Futaba. Geez. Didn't you know you were Akira's number one defender..."

Futaba blushed. While both Sojiro and Morgana knew of her and Akira's relationship, they had not told the rest of the group as of yet. She often wished she could, but they had agreed that they wanted to see how things went before getting the group all excited about this. After all, it would seriously suck if they told everyone then broke up...

A comforting hand settled on her shoulder. "I agree, Futaba," Ann smiled, "Knowing Akira he probably wouldn't wanna risk burdening us too much whether it be with good or bad information. And honestly, it could just be that he has nothing to say. After all, life now compared to life 6 months ago is really boring."

Futaba nodded, sulking. She didn't care if he was having the best time ever in Kyoto or had nothing to talk about except the A tier naps he and Morgana had been taking. She just wanted to be able to share whatever their mutual lives were like equally since they couldn't be together living the same life anymore.

Ann sighed, then offered, "let's shoot a private message to Makoto. She was talking about bothering him about his college plans awhile back. Maybe she'll have an opinion for you."

Futaba glanced up at Ann, and smiled, thankful for such understanding friends. "That sounds awesome, thanks."

With that, the first warning bell signaled that lunch was basically over. Hopefully, Makoto would answer before she Skyped Akira tonight.

~~~

She had luckily managed to snag a seat on the train ride home and was settling in to read a book when her phone chimed. It was Makoto. Futaba praised the God that blessed their friend group with such a capable and efficient Mom Friend.

Actually, they may have killed that God....hmm...

From: Dream Queen

Hey, Futaba. In reference to what Ann asked me about, I have noticed that Akira is acting a bit strange. I did end up talking to him about college entrance exams and apparently he isn't currently planning to take any. He wouldn't give me a complete answer but what I pieces together is that the issue is a combination of not being in the right college prep classes at school, the school staff not taking his desire to go to college seriously, and his father not believing he could pass the exams and thus not wanting to pay for them. Now, keep in mind, he told me very little of this flat out, but from our conversation this was what I could draw conclusions about. Hope that helps.

Futaba's jaw fell open a bit. So, Akira was having troubles and not speaking to her about them. Again. Damnit. She shot a message back to Makoto quickly, needing to process this information before her conversation with Akira.

To: Dream Queen

Thank you so much for the info Makoto. God, he hasn't told me any of this. Not even a little bit of it. It's just like the prison thing...why does he do this?

Luckily, it seemed Makoto was still attached to her phone for the moment.

From: Dream Queen

It's likely a complex answer. I'm sure he thinks sharing this sort of information with us would bother us because we would try to fix it. Sadly, he's right. We will try to fix it. And he should probably just get used to that fact and let it happen.

That made her laugh. Their little group was quite infamous for being overly close and overly protective. Just because Akira was used to doing the protecting didn't mean he was exempt from the protection.

To: Dream Queen

I want to talk to him about this. See if there's anything we can do to help. But I don't want him to deflect me. Any ideas, Ms Prosecutor-Lite?

From: Dream Queen

Let's not call me that. In general, direct questions are more likely to get useable information. If he can purposefully side step a meaning of a question, he seems to do so.

She figured as much. Formulating the right questions might be hard though. She didn't want him to think the decision not to go to college was what she was upset with, so lingering on that topic might not help. Truthfully, she just wanted to know if he was happy and if not, why.

Huh. That might be a good one.

Her phone chimed again.

From: Dream Queen

But being frank, Futaba, I don't think you're going to get straight answers with a screen in between you. Skype may be slightly more effective but Akira is a face to face kind of person. We may not be able to address this until break. And that's perhaps a long shot if he doesn't plan to come to Tokyo for break.

The thought stuck in her head for a moment. Face to face. Midterms were this upcoming week. After Thursday, she wouldn't have class again until Tuesday. Hmmm...now if only...

To: Dream Queen

Do you happen to know Akira's home address?

From: Dream Queen

No, but shouldn't Boss? He did have mailed correspondence with Akira's family a bit over the last year.

Perfect.

To: Dream Queen

Thanks Makoto. You're the absolute best. I'll tell you what I'm thinking of doing tomorrow.

From: Dream Queen

Anytime dear. Hope it goes well :)

The train announced that her stop was next and she hopped up, energized and ready to move the plan forward.

~~~

She surveyed her desk space to ensure she had everything she needed. Drink? Check. Bag of chips just in case? Check. Blanket draped over her desk chair? Check. Computer open to Skype? Check. List of questions conveniently out of sight? Check.

She was a bit hesitant to write up the list of questions. Futaba knew there was no way in hell she could link all those questions together coherently without sounding scripted. That was Makoto's thing. But still, Akira was by far the superior conversationalist. She needed some sort of backup if this went south.

She tried to remind herself that this wasn't about only getting answers. Their Skype dates were sacred. It was the closest they got to each other on a regular basis. She needed to find a natural work in for that line of conversation or needed to drop it all together. And besides, she consoled herself, plan B could still work out without this conversation being... productive. No pressure.

She was so screwed.

The sound of Skype's ring tone started up then, and she jumped a bit. She ran her fingers through her hair, pausing to take one huge breath before hitting "answer".

"Hey, Akira."

Her screen slowly resolved into what was becoming a pretty familiar backdrop. The walls were painted a medium shade of blue. All along the back wall, were countless posters. Rock bands, video games, movies, you name it. She fondly remembered their first Skype date, where he explained where he got every single one of those posters. That was the most he had spoken to her about his past since he told her how he got arrested...

The bed was messy, plaid blue comforter thrown across the bed in a half assed attempt at making the bed. She knew for a fact the thin black sheets underneath were bundled up the same as when he first woke up. The only thing in the room messier than the bed was the mop of hair in her line of sight.

"You, my friend, need a haircut," Futaba giggled, earning herself an overly dramatic eye roll and a huff in response. She actually was a fan of the extremely puffy hair, but knew it was getting long enough that his bangs would be hanging in his eyes, which annoyed him greatly.

The lights in his room were off, the only light source being the blueish light from his laptop screen. Futaba didn't try to keep it a secret how much she liked the way his face looked illuminated so minimally like this. The angle of the light showed off features she hadn't paid attention to when they were physically together. Now, she couldn't stop staring at the well defined jawline, sharp cut of his nose, the way his bottom lip was a bit fuller than his top. Maybe there was some truth to the phrase "distance makes the heart grow fonder".

"What's up, hot stuff? You look a bit down."

Akira met her eyes, the ghost of a smile on his face. "I guess I'm kind of tired. Haven't been sleeping well lately."

This was good. Getting right into it. "Aww. How come?"

He paused, staring at something to the left of his screen. For a moment it looked like he was gearing up to say something, but then he simply shook his head. "I don't know. Happens sometimes."

The bags under his eyes told her that it wasn't as simple as a couple bad nights. Still, she knew he probably wouldn't give her an answer on this particular vein of thought just yet, so she moved on. "Speaking of sleep, where is the sleepiest cat in the history of history?"

That got Akira to smile. "My dad got him some catnip at the store the other day. Before I opened it, he swore over and over it wouldn't work on him because he is a human."

Futaba giggled, "let me guess: he went crazier than when he saw particularly nice looking treasures in the metaverse?"

The smile broadened into a smirk. "Babbled nonsense and ran around the house after 'ghosts' all night. It was a true sight to behold. That said: he denies the whole thing now."

"Not surprising. News headline: local cat does cat-like thing. Is disgusted."

Akira chortled, "Very accurate!"

They chatted back and forth for about half an hour about various things, mostly superficial. Still, it served its purpose as a recharge from all the social exhaustion of the week. She was content. But, she did want to ask him one thing.

"Hey, Akira...real quick before we hang up..."

Akira smiled at her, nodded, "What's up?"

"You've been in Kyoto for awhile now. And I guess I just wanted to know..." She paused, looking him straight in the eye, "are you happy?"

Lightning quick, his smile dropped away. For a bit, Akira's eyes darted between the screen, his hands, and the space just to the left side of his computer screen. This sort of frantic defense mechanism was new to Futaba. To her memory, she had never seen Akira cornered before. It only proved that this was a question she needed to have answered...but, an equal need to soothe him also sprung up.

It was a long pause before Akira finally plopped his head down onto his crossed arms and sighed. When he next revealed his face, it was with a soft, "I guess not."

Futaba's heart broke at the despair in his tone. Her voice was just as soft, "Is being back home not what you thought it would be?"

Akira shook his head. He didn't meet her eyes. "No, it's exactly how I thought it would be." He buried his face in his arms, fingers tapping out a rhythm on the desk. His next words were muffled so he couldn't make them out super well, but Futaba was absolutely positive she heard him mutter "It's me that's different now."

That was all she really needed to hear. "We don't have to talk about it anymore if you don't want to."

He removed his head from it's hiding spot and attempted a smile. "Thanks." The sound of a door opening in the background echoed through his room. He sighed and sat up. "I have to go."

Futaba's heart sank. She hated herself for saving this for last. Leaving conversations on a bad note was the absolute worst and yet...Well, she'd just have to make up for it.

"Ok. I love you."

Akira nodded, "Love you too." She smiled and reached for her mouse to cut the call, when he started, "Futaba?" She made a noise acknowledging him. "I miss you."

God, this kid really knew how to play her heart like a guitar. She smiled widely at him. "I miss you too, Akira. Good night!"

"Night."

The call ended, leaving her alone in her room with her thoughts. Akira had always been there for her when she was going through something awful. Even forced his way into helping her even when she said she didn't want his help. There was no way she was letting this go. She nodded to herself and started writing a message to Makoto.

Failure wasn't an option.

~~~

LeBlanc was deserted when Futaba got home from school that Friday. Sojiro was busy cooking, humming contently along with the radio. Considering what Futaba's goal was this evening, it was probably for the best that he was in a good mood to start.

"Hey Sojiro! I'm home. Need any help?"

Her father turned and raised an eyebrow, giving her a once over glance before nodding and beckoning her forth to help with dinner. Futaba winced to herself, realizing her huge tactical error. She never offers to help with dinner. Alas, the hint that she wanted something from him is perhaps better than springing it on him with no prior suspicion at all. She hurried to put on an apron and slice up the apples he placed before her.

They worked in companionable silence. And once the curry was done to perfection, they both sat down at a booth to enjoy their meal. The air was thick, pregnant with the anticipation of important conversation. Futaba hated this sort of unease, as it was exactly what she feared would occur. And she hadn't even said anything yet.

"So. You want to ask me something, Futaba?"

No surprises there. Futaba nodded, "Um. Yes. I. I do." God, this was harder than she thought. The words were there, right in her head, so why couldn't she get them out? It's just Sojiro! But that was the issue. It was Sojiro, the only father figure she'd ever really had. She could handle a lot of people rejecting her, but Sojiro was not among them.

He seemed to sense her rising panic, smiled at her gently, "Whatever it is, it's nothing to worry too hard over. If you're willing to talk, I'm willing to listen."

"Yeah I know." She took a deep breath, summoned her inner strength (whatever there was of it) and began, "I was talking with Akira earlier. He's...um, not feeling very well, I don't think. I don't know exactly what the problem is, but I really want to help him. He's done so much for me after all."

Sojiro nodded, showing he had heard her. She continued, "I've tried just talking to him about it, but he doesn't give me or any of our friends straight answers. And now he isn't sleeping well. I'm just really worried."

"And what exactly do you expect to do about this?" Sojiro questioned, luckily not looking mad at all. "You can't just force him to ask for help if he doesn't want it. Trust me. I've tried."

"Yeah," Futaba acknowledged glumly, "I doubt he will ever tell anyone what's really wrong over the phone. It's too easy for him to hide behind the screen and pretend he's protecting us. So...I want to go talk to him. In person."

Sojiro stopped eating. Placed his fork down and the folded his hands in front of him. Futaba gulped. "Who would be going with you, then?"

"No one. I don't think he would want to say anything if too many people came."

He sighed and shook his head a bit, sparking panic in Futaba instantly. "He'd probably talk to you and one other person, right? Why not that Makoto girl?"

"I...I already talked to her about it. She. Um. She said she can't take the time off and that he would probably not talk to someone who isn't me or her so it probably has to be just me."

"And I'm supposed to ignore the fact that my sixteen year old daughter with crippling social anxiety wants to travel over five hours to Kyoto by herself to see her boyfriend? On a whim because he seems upset? You're out of your mind."

Futaba's voice grew shaky, "The train there wouldn't be anywhere as crowded as the one I take to school! So what if it's more time, I'd be fine! And it is not just a whim."

Sojiro shook his head, glaring at her through with crossed arms. God she hated that look. "I don't think you realize how dangerous this could be for a young girl by herself. And what would you do when you got there? Talk really quickly and come back home? 11 hours of transit just for a conversation?"

"School will be off for awhile after midterms, Sojiro. I can probably just stay on their couch or something."

"Oh here we go. Probably isn't good enough when planning a trip like this, Futaba. You can't just show up at people's houses and expect them to let you stay with them. Are you insane?"

Tears jerked to her eyes. "N-no, I'm not! I was going to call Akira's dad a-after you and I talked and ask him. Why do you assume I don't think about things? You know I do!" The last thing Futaba had wanted was to cry, but sure enough the tears came rolling down her cheeks in rivers. Her nose was suddenly all stuffed too. Damnit.

"Do you even have his father's number? Their address?"

"Y-you do, Sojiro! I w-w-wasnt gonna go...go behind your b-back and ask when I already made all the arrangements! You h-hate it when people try to do that! And I know you d-do!"

"Yeah and I also hate it when you hatch schemes in private and then just expect other people to go along with them."  Sojiro sighed, pressing his thumbs to his closed eyes. "Why does it have to be you who does this? Is this even necessary? You don't even know if something is actually wrong, Futaba."

"Yes. I. Do. You weren't talking to him, Sojiro. You didn't see how sad he looked. No, he doesn't absolutely need someone to go, but I want to now before it gets any worse." She paused to sniffle and wipe at her eyes, feeling a bit less frantic. "And would you please stop thinking about him as 'Futaba's boyfriend' and just think of him as Akira? Just because he is dating me doesn't make him any less a part of our family! Right? Right?? You were the one that said that! Well our family member is far away and something is wrong."

Sojiro was quiet then. He sat with his arms crossed over his chest and a deep frown for awhile while Futaba sniffled and dabbed at her eyes with her napkin. Her entire body was tense and felt gross, typical after crying. Still, it was a small price to pay if she could convince Sojiro. She had to at least try.

"Go home."

Her eyes shot up to meet her father's. "What?"

Sojiro leveled her with a stern stare. "It's getting late and you need to get a bath and get ready for bed. You have school tomorrow."

"B-but Sojiro...!"

"Enough. Futaba." Sojiro stood, collecting their plates and moving towards the sink. "No point discussing this any more tonight. You go calm down and get to bed. If there is anything left to discuss, we will talk about it after school tomorrow."

"Sojiro..."

"I haven't said no yet, have I?" Sojiro looked back at her with a soft look on his face. He hated it when she cried just as much as she hated crying. "Now get out of here so I can think, ok?"

The walk home was one of the most nerve wracking of her life. There was a snowball's chance in hell of her sleeping tonight, since her emotions felt like live wires all tangled together. But the less she fought him, the more likely he'd agree. That was all she could hope for at this point.

~~~

School on Saturday was the longest and worst experience of her life. She was bone tired from not sleeping even an hour the night before and somehow all the teachers seemed to know this because they kept asking her just about every single question they could. It was unbearable. She had zoned out through all of lunch too, far too tired to even register being hungry, so as she boarded the train to go home, she felt like she had had all of her stats lowered and inflicted with despair, dizzy and hunger all at the same time.

Her phone buzzed in her bag as she managed to snag a seat on the train (the only small miracle of the day).

From: Key Item

Hey. Ryuji and Ann both texted me and said you looked really out of it today. Everything alright?

Great. Now she had even managed to spread her bad day to Akira. Wonderful.

To: Key Item

Bad night. Didn't sleep. I'll go to bed early tonight, though.

From: Key Item

Alright. If you're sure. Get home safe. Get Sojiro to make you some curry with extra love in it!

To: Key Item

If his love is anything like yours, I'd prefer he keep the love to a minimum.

From: Key Item

Ouch. That hurt. Such betrayal.

She giggled, glad that even when she felt like death, talking to Akira could still make her smile.

Arriving at LeBlanc felt like a death march. There were five customers enjoying curry and coffee at the various booths, so Futaba place her bag down at the bar. Before she could sit down, Sojiro slid a pad of paper across the bar to her. She met his eyes first, then looked down at the paper. It contained a phone number and an address. Her heart sped up and she looked back at Sojiro, mouth wide open.

"You'd best try calling now. I could usually get ahold of his dad around this time. Go on."

Futaba grinned, kissed Sojiro on the cheek and then fled upstairs to call the number. Maybe things were going to work out after all.

[scenarios-on-ice]

“Alright, Luna-senpai!”

Thus the technically-smol and not-so-innocent Evans was saved from a brutal, feelsy death by Queen Luna’s common sense.

If only we could say the same for Philip Hamilton. R.I.P

Ah, it is true that I am professional feels-murderer. However, when it comes to me being a cinnamon roll…that remains to be seen :)

Aww, I didn’t mind the basement thing, really! That isn’t something I’d see as a major spoiler since you didn’t tell me what was actually inside of it ^^ as for AoT, I forgot to mention that I’ve caught up with the manga now! I got so irritated at falling behind all of my fandoms and then going on tumblr like “wth new chapter already now I’ve got to avoid the spoilers but I WANNA SEE THE SPOILERS but I WANNA APPRECIATE THE TWISTS” that I went and binge-read Black Butler, AoT and TG almost all at once lol

Like you, though, I don’t know if I’m appreciating what’s going on in AoT right now. Isayama’s doing so many POV switches and focusing on so many new plot twists and info dumps that it almost feels like he’s abandoning all the old plot threads he hasn’t tied up yet. Also, he’s pulled off two time skips in quick succession now, which makes things even more confusing.

If he has a plan and knows what he’s doing this could turn out OK, but if not, well…it could become a complete and utter trainwreck.

YOU POSSESS THE POWER OF AMVs I BOW DOWN TO YOU

Seriously, if you want to and you have the time, I’d love to see that actually happen (though if you can’t that’s fine too ^^). I actually wrote down a whole plan for this MMV/AMV thing because the more I listen to Wait for It the more it reminds me of TG…

(More feels: for the line ‘My grandfather was a fire and brimstone preacher’, Amon and Donato. And then 'but there are things that the homilies and hymns can’t teach you’ Amon’s first encounter with Kaneki.

Then 'My mother was a genius’ possibly Eto and Ukina? or Matsumae?

'My father commanded respect’ Juuzou and Shinohara

And you know how the chorus echoes 'respect’ after that line? Sasaki’s face shows up during that echo (he did have the Q squad’s respect in his own way). Or maybe Yoshimura. I considered Arima but I have another line I want for him…

'When they died, they left no instructions’ Ryouko’s (Hinami’s mother’s) death

'Just a legacy to protect’ Hinami saving Sasaki in the auction arc. Cinnamon roll is making her parents proud.

'Death doesn’t discriminate’ anything with Arima. Maybe his death scene? The Grim Reaper never hesitated, not even when it came to his own life.

Also, the scenes with Nutcracker’s death and young Arima reaching out the window in his flashback might fit well with the last chorus (“Life doesn’t discriminate”). In fact, I feel like the most emotional scenes or the ones that show characters going through hardships would fit with the last chorus, since it’s about how hard life can be no matter who you are.

I know I want the 'Let’s go home’ scene in here somewhere but I’m not sure where it should go. It should be in a powerful, meaningful place, probably in the last chorus like the above scenes, but I can’t decide where it would have the most impact.)

I just went back and checked out some discussions in the fandom, and I’m really, REALLY sorry! But apparently the 'I’ve forgotten their names’ was an April Fool’s joke…? I’m kinda glad that there’s no deeper, more tragic meaning I could dig out from that line now, but also kind of disappointed because I was liking the contrast with Naki.

The line that was actually there is no better when it comes to feels.

“If the people you lost somehow returned to you…how would you feel?”

“It’d be frightening.

I’d worry that they might just disappear again.”

coupled with this lovely panel of Kaneki, his eyes closed and head tilted upwards, with a vaguely melancholy expression on his face.

Ishida Why

Also, remember Furuta’s touching declaration of love?

“I’ll have Rize bear me a bunch of children, 101 dalmations style~”

Yeah, well.

He got his wish…? Sort of…?

I love Hinami more and more. Despite everything that’s happened she’s made it clear since a few chapters ago that she has no grudge against Akira or even Kureo Mado, and in fact, she’s the one who pulls Akira into her arms (Akira just stands there and soon starts to cry for the first time since the Anteiku Raid).

Those names do sound a bit weird XD but I’m definitely gonna watch all of those when I can! And I’ll let you know when I do!

OMG.

There’s something weirdly exciting about knowing that we’re this close (like one of us could literally jump on a plane and meet the other in around a couple of hours) :D I really hope you have fun in Japan! :) I’m almost kinda jealous lol…but CONGRATS!

The amount of times I’ve died and risen from the dead is astonishing. 

Phillip needed an Evans and a Luna to save him from his demise. Too bad he didn’t have any. 

Your feels-murdering skills are over 9000 *breaks eyepiece*

Ah, that’s amazing! I’m glad you’re all caught up now ^^ We have a lot (A LOT) to discuss, especially about Black Butler. To sum up my feelings about it: I am dead inside. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY(Did he have to say goodbye). 

I am this close to giving up on AoT as well. However, I wish to see how my precious ray of sunshine (Armin) will fare, so I’ll have to bear with it. Hooray.

Fun facts, my amvs are horrible. Since I use a free program, they have huge watermarks and I don’t know how to add effects at all, but there’s always youtube to help hahah I’ll work on it quite soon, but I can’t guarantee how well it’ll turn out ^^ 

When thinking about how to pull it off, I was realised that using manga panels for everything would be the best way to go, as not to confuse people or make it weird. As for ‘Let’s go home’, it could probably fit well with ‘death doesn’t discriminate’, but we already have Arima for it... Oh, oh, maybe with ‘it takes and it takes’. Finding all the right panels will be a pain in the ass ;-; I’ll probably ask you a few times if you know the approximate chapter of certain scenes ^^;;

Oh thank god. I mean, it was quite out of character, even for Sasaki. Jeez. That was mean ;-; (Not mean from you, but from the fandom T_T) The alternate line is so much better and fits him more. And it’s actually just as sad. Gdi Ishida, you’re evil.

What What What What What No Please no Oh dear God and I’m not even a religious person WHYYYY I believe Ishida is made out of 5% cinnamon roll and 95% pure evil.  Also, I just happen to stumble upon the last panel of the latest chapter, aka Mutuski being creepy af, holding Kaneki and going ‘sense <3′ whaT’D I MISS?? Lots and lots of things

WHAT IS THIS???

((Don’t mind me, I’m just searching for the panel of Kaneki and his what if everyone came back. I WILL FIND IT))

Whoops, found it

Well, shit

On to lighter themes!

Japan was absolutely amazing! We did so many things and saw lots of new places! It’s a completely different world, that’s for sure. And my Love Live loving ass was in heaven. Seriously, I bought 4 figures (bc they’re really cheap there) and one plush toy, and they’re all related to LL. I might need help. Aaand, after watching the 4 eps of BnHA season 2, I recommend it even more! It’s a mix between serious/dark and humour and imo, it was pulled off very well ^^

I hope school’s going fine for you! Cause mine isn’t :’) Well, it’ll get better now, since this week was the hellpoint hahah

[katzirra]

Body, listen...

Your TMI fun facts of the day;

So the annoying thing about my brain and body on the sexual reactive front is sometimes body decides it’s gonna do what it wants, even though I am not comprehending, ingesting, nor processing, anything to make it react there.

“Whoops!! You feel that suddenly? No idea where it came from, but have fun with that!!” It’s in that same vein with minding my own business, not remotely thinking about anything, and suddenly my brain will be like “Hey man, you know what would be nice? Going down on a girl.” And I literally scream into the distance. That’s nice for two major reasons anyway; a healthy feeling of control, and man wow, girls are pretty and make pretty faces and sounds~

My personal favorite annoyance is how much I hate the I can’t actually get off, or attempt to, unless I’m in a relationship. I also have to pretty much feel allowed to get off to the idea of my partner too~ What a weird hang up!!

On top of that, if I have any concerns or worries in said relationship? I can’t in good conscious get myself off either. This is especially fun when I feel I’m more into my partner than they are me, which is easily 9/10 tbh?? It becomes like... I don’t know, man. It’s annoying. My ratio of want to get off versus get off is very small. It’s awful.

This essentially means [outside of a relationship] I have little to NO sex drive, and any time I have a spike on my radar of “Hey, I know it’s been a while but, uh, here’s that feeling... I think it’s called... being horny? Don’t quote me on that. But it’s your problem now.” I can’t even do anything about it, because I know I’ll get bored laying there trying to get anywhere, and get frustrated because I don’t meet an end.

It becomes “Go the fuck to bed and avoid it” - like brain can’t adhere to the ‘normal’ shit people do like read or watch stuff, lmao!! But in a relationship it becomes a weird spike event randomy at certain phrases or implied actions that my brain creates a response to, and it’s like “CHILL.” and usually I can’t do anything about it unless purposely provoked or tugged at anyway. Whoop.

Like I’ve actually tried looking into this, if there’s something this is at least CALLED? Or a reason FOR it? All I find is mm, hey I don’t get off with my partner - and it’s like nah dude, the issue is I can only get off when I have one. I’m just. It’s so irritating. The only thing I can think is if this falls on the demisexual scale somehow, because the emotional and such bond to someone - but I don’t know?? But It’s something I periodically look up because?? Why?? Like this?? I just wanna fucking get off some days without worrying about it, geez.

More often than not, I just want to know if this is just part of my attraction focus wheel, or if it’s something I might have mentally blocked out? But it’s not the latter I’m pretty sure, since I have no reason to block sexual ANYTHING out, but I’m just?? Why am I like this? I use to think I was probably asexual, like I had the urges now and then, but it wasn’t like on my list and a bunch of other things - but that’s not the case considering. Like if I have a legitimate emotional and physical attraction I am about it, it’s just that that’s prior to current, never been the situation.

Sexuality and self identification is a wild ride, kids.

Mm. In all honesty, since I’m on the subject anyway, the one person I ever had sex with I just wasn’t even really... there? It’s so strange to me to look back at things and tilt my head realizing how much I was not into K at all...? I was attracted to them aesthetically and some aspects of their personality, but even that I’m just... no, not really. I was used, and I wasn’t respected at all honestly. Nothing actually burns my inner fire more like knowing someone respects me or is proud of me? So a lack of it is just such a bucket of water on EVERYTHING.

Like, it’s so funny when I think of things that make me into someone, or things that are considered ‘turn ons’. There’s basic shit like neck bites and little bites period I love, and light scratching or like just being a little rough handsy period I guess? But then it’s like I THINK ABOUT THAT FUCKING KINK JOKE POST ABOUT “MY KINK IS FEELING APPRECIATED AND LOVED” and someone yelling I’M K*INKSHAMING. Because holy shit though like maybe it’s the leo ego thing with making me feel important?? But literally if I’m into you sexually, it is probably because there’s a mutual respect and I feel safe as well as I find you attractive?? And that’s the hilarious thing is that’s a reason I’m INTO someone?? Make me feel respected and wanted and important to you, and give any kind of little praise and I am le swoon and smitten~ Throw in some physical shit and I am but a WEAK woman completely at your mercy~

But like, that’s the thing. I had rough kisses and laughing during sex, which is what I love... you have to be able to have fun with your partner, I love having fun with a partner. I love a little roughhousing here and there at times - but it’s like... that wasn’t enough. The sex was... bad? Like I enjoy getting a girl off, it feels nice, it sooounds nice, and it looks nice~ I’m good at it, but like... getting me off is a chore if I’m not into it or you, and I know this from first hand experience? - I’m mad at this pun...

But at the time I had explained to them that it was difficult for me, and they insisted they could get me off, and it kinda just turned into me staring at the ceiling, and laughing because the insides of my thighs are way too sensitive and ticklish?? Also they just couldn’t stay on task and I have but the neediest little clit I guess.

But I would up getting bored, lying and just kinda being done lmao. I think I had a better time having phone sex, whoops~ That’s the other thing, is I have a heavy response to sounds and just... man. Played it up and I was just softly and harshly whispers, naaah..

I think the only nice experience sexually with them, was we woke up one morning and I can still feel the temperature of the room and see the colors through the windows and in the room... and just lazily kissing and getting eachother off. Too tired to think or respond really. That was the simplest and nicest thing I can think about the physical side of that weekend.

Like the more I ever reflect on that weekend, which is sadly kind of often because even any time I brush my teeth in my bathroom and catch my reflection? I can literally only think of them coming behind me, hugging me and saying my body was just their liking and... it sucks. Because like, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said about this body that I hate? I hate my body. I hate it from my boobs to my baby fat pooch I can’t get rid of, to my thighs I can’t do anything about no matter how much work I do. It’s not that I’m fat that I hate it. Fat is beautiful on people, I just don’t like looking this way for myself. This is not how I want to look. I can work with it and make it pretty, and I look BEAUTIFUL sometimes, but it’s not the body I want to be in.

But that comment haunts me, because I was 20lbs lighter than I am now, and I... that was the nicest thing I’d ever heard. So that memory flashes randomly sometimes and I just sort of freeze before shaking my head, because with it comes the whole weekend. That weekend was a nightmare. It was a mistake. I can’t believe I wasted my time and money. I can’t go back in time and change it but it’s just... fuck, dude.

It wasn’t even a good booty call, how terrible is that?

But it’s like...landing there and being WHISKED OFF~ I went to my first con, I went to an Akira exhibit even and wanted to cry... like I was so happy with the chance to see that stuff in PERSON. The Kaneda jacket, the stills, the large sketches, the POSTERS - it was the coolest thing. And there I was with K, who was cheating on their boyfriend at the time. And I was trying to act okay with this, because they were going to dump him. How much of a naive asshole did I have to be? But I mean, there’s more to this story than this so... mm.

But I went down there because I was asked to. Because we’d been ‘dating’ a month, and they’d last seen me two or three months prior. Apparently it was a booty call. A couple hundred miles away... booty call. I laugh now at times because I mean, at least I learned what I like in a bedroom setting or from kisses, but christ.

Like there were cute parts to the weekend, don’t get me wrong... but... mm. Like it’s so much bad stuff?? Or immature shit? Stuff that rubbed me wrong? I love Flo*ence and the Mac*ine but like I still kinda feel a chill up my spine when I hear one of her songs? I ignore it because nO ONE CAN TAKE MUSIC FROM ME. I WILL BECOME IMMUNE AND NUMB TO THE PAIN IN TIME but I just... K drank so fucking much... and DROVE US TO THE HOTEL YELLING THE LYRICS TO THIS SONG and I just remember feeling worried about what was wrong. All I ever do is what is asked of me, and I came there on their request to see me, I went along with everywhere they wanted to take me - I wound up asleep, feeling sick from nerves, them DRAPED behind me... and eventually wound up sitting on the side of the tub holding their hair as they got sick.

Reasons I don’t like margaritas. Too bitter. And they drank a pitcher alone pretty much. -soft hums-

I... just. It was weird. To feel wanted but not wanted. To have someone wash your hair in the shower and steal kisses in the store when you were mid sentence [which I also find adorable and laugh at and love] and... to find yourself not wanting them to touch you when you slept. Feeling odd being requested to cuddle up to them. I wasn’t... attached the way I thought I was? But I was scared to hurt them after a while because they... I mean... they SOBBED on me for five hours about going home. I spent my last day consoling someone when I should have probably been the sobbing one??

Everything is so estranged when I look back... I struggle in things now a days because everything they said to me and promised me. It’s all the ideal things you want to hear. I never imagined getting married before until it was asked of me if I’d ever thought about it. How pretty I’d be.

Just weird shit man. But this is the person who would tell me a year ago I was upset with them for not picking me, and jumping into another relationship? When I was upset because I was tired of trying to be normal friends and being flirted with because I was uncomfortable?

I was upset with being summoned for petting egos and getting emotional fulfillment from, and yet being brushed off and felt... weird even TALKING. I’m so thankful to Stephanie for making me see shit and giving me firepower to tell them to fuck off, because I just... don’t care anymore? I don’t care about them. I can’t imagine their face really even anymore.

I just don’t care. But I just vividly remember shit because that’s what I have to go off of for one, and for two? It’s so fucking strange to pull back and realize I... didnt’ love these people.

I didn’t love any of them beyond mistaking friendship and lineliness for love. And that makes me feel no better than them. Unconsciously using someone versus being used intentionally is different but in the end it’s the same and I just... I think that’s another part of why I’m really vocal about how I feel for Becca. Because it’s different feeling. It’s not just a need for being with someone or to not feel lonely. It’s not a need for anything.

Yes we fight and yes things aren’t always good with communicating but unlike everyone else she gave me the choice to speak up about things and she wants this to work out, and she doesn’t throw her hands up like it’s too much stress even though sometimes it fucking sure seems like it.

It’s different and that’s probably why I dwell on old things so much is because it makes me feel guilty for a second, but it kind of melts away into a weird sadness. Not melancholy but... it just aches a little for the wasted time and effort and emotions? Wasted energy caring abotu stuff I want to put so far behind me...

I respond different. I think different. I still withdraw out of fear, but that’s a reflex. You get punched so many times, you’re going to back away and be small when someone raises a voice. Mm.

CASUALLY MAKES A POST ABOUT BODY NEEDS TO NOT RANDOMLY BE WET FOR NO REASON, ENDS UP GOING ON ABOUT MY BODY IS A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE FOR ME, TOUCHES ON SO SOME DEEP SEEDED SHIT THAT BOTHERS ME, GOES INTO HOW I FEEL LIKE A BAD PERSON, WRAPS UP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND IS REALLY IMPORTANT AND I’M GAY.

FUCKING, KAT POSTS.