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lillyanne4writes · 5 months ago

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JJK/Gege Akutami appreciation post

Yeah, you read that title right. I get it that the entire fandom is upset with the latest leaks but I've seen so many angry/hateful comments toward Gege and it's making me sad. So here's a post to highlight some things I like about JJK. :)

This is in no way a complete list, so feel free to add on with your own takes too! Also, it's a long post, so I'm putting the meat of it under the cut.

The characters & their dynamics

Jjk has a huge cast, and yet every character is so unique and compelling. The reason I got into this anime (and later the manga) despite not really being into anime in general was how charming the main four characters were. Yuuji, Nobara, Megumi and Gojo immediately hooked me; I could probably watch 10 seasons of a slice of life show that's just them getting into shenanigans.

Fun interactions aside, my favourite thing about the characterisation is how everyone in this manga is allowed to have their own view on the world, especially on what it means to live a good life and die a good death. The narrative allows those views to clash without preaching about who is "correct". Characters disagree and learn from each other and their views develop organically (not necessarily in a positive direction, but always dynamically in a response to the situations they find themselves in - Yuuji's arc on how he views himself and his goals comes to mind). That stuff is really hard to write.

And it's not just the main cast either. The supporting characters are very memorable too; even minor ones have distinct personalities and clear motivations and often a backstory to explain why they are the way they are. My personal favourite background characters are Mai, Noritoshi and Tsumiki.

The worldbuilding

Can we talk about how creative the concept of curses and cursed energy is? Negative emotions accumulating into physical manifestations of things that people fear, hate, etc. is a hell of a cool idea. This is why the curse villains are my favourites in the series: from Mahito as a representation of the worst of humanity in his childish glee and sadism and cowardice to Jogo's philosophy of curses as "true beings" because they don't hide their nature and Hanami's almost sympathetic care for nature are all interesting explorations of how we view the world around us that would not be possible in a different kind of magic system. Add to that the array of creative techniques that sorcerers possess, the cursed objects, and the grade system that conveniently allows us to keep track of the danger levels of all this - you get an impressively complex magic system that still remains understandable (and fun to watch even if you don't want to keep track of the nitty-gritty and are just here for the spectacle).

Not to mention that jujutsu society is, well, a society. We get a sense of who the powerful and the oppressed are in this community, how their powers factor into that, how different characters feel about this, what they are doing to change it or on the contrary, to keep the traditions going... Every character exists in the web of a clear power structure which they interact with, influencing it and being influenced in turn. This results in a super interesting dynamic where certain characters can be enemies one moment (for example when the Kyoto students try to kill Yuuji during the exchange event on Gakuganji's, and by extension the higher-ups' orders) and allies the next (when it's time to pull together against a curse).

I'm reserving my judgement on the plot, themes and overall character arcs for now, because those things can only be really analysed once the story is complete. But even if I'll be unhappy with the ending, I'll still be very grateful for this unique world and its loveable inhabitants.

Of course, you might disagree with me on all this, and that's fine. Dropping the manga because you don't like the direction the story took is fine. Choosing to live in fanfiction delulu land is also fine. Gritting your teeth and sticking it out till the end despite disliking the plot because you're too invested to quit is also fine. Criticism and jokes are fine. The one thing that isn't fine is hating on the creator for the way they are choosing to tell their story.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Tl;dr: If you're upset about the direction JJK is taking, please try to remember why you cared so much about it in the first place. And remember that Gege is just a person sharing a story with us, and disliking someone's story is not an acceptable reason to hate on them.

#i'm aware that probably no one will read all this but i had to get this off my chest #the fandom is getting so toxic it's such a shame #gege is out there writing a manga where dehumanisation and the pressure to be perfect and how damaging that is is a MAJOR theme #and people are getting mad because the story isn't perfect/up to their standards #am i the only one seeing the irony here #how can people be mad at someone for just... creating something?#even if jjk has the absolute worst terribly written dumpster fire ending imaginable i'll still be defending gege #they came up with an incredibly creative world and a huge cast of memorable loveable characters and i'll always be grateful for that #i was trying to keep this post positive but the ranting kind of slipped into the tags sorry #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk manga #jjk fandom #fandom culture #can we stop hating on creators for creating please #gege akutami #gege when i catch you gege #i'll say thank you for creating a story that impacted me even if it wasn't perfect

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bisluthq · 2 months ago

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Yes, it's a fact that Taylor has a sometimes unrealistic romanticization about relationships and when the honeymoon phase passes she gets tired and runs away. But it's also a fact that she tried a lot with Joe. and that's not me exempting her from blame but their relationship since 2020 was already showing "signs" with Joe in a bad place and isolating himself from her without letting her help him according to her own songs (and again, I don't blame him) . Obviously there were other problems too and Taylor also had her faults with him. but I think it's unfair to say that -specifically with Joe- she abandoned him just because the honeymoon phase was over

Agree to a point but also not because the Joe isolating himself and being moody stuff is also on Rep and Lover but she kinda idealized that then. It was part of the grand love story like “oh he has some flaws but it’s totally FINE!” and I’m not sure if she worked on it as in… said, “Joe, your communication style is really bothering me, I’d like us to see a therapist” or “Joe, your communication style is really bothering me, and maybe something cool we could do is a nightly check in on a scale of 1-10 in terms of how happy or unhappy we are about things in our lives and then if we feel up for it we can discuss but at minimum we can just let the other person know” or she worked on it as in she said “right I’m happy now, he fixed me, why isn’t he all fixed?”

Because I still don’t get the sense he was in this deep dark hole of depression some fans have decided he was in. I mean obviously he was sad about all the dead relatives right like that wouldn’t make you jump for joy every day. Realistically he was disappointed with CWF reception but he actually tried to moderate excitement and expectations in promo so I’m not sure it was THAT crazy upsetting to him. Frankly, I think Billy Lynn was a way bigger disappointment for him than this because THAT had been meant to get him to play in easy mode and then he was off playing in moderate mode and being Mr Swift made it difficult mode. UK politics has been a mess and he follows politics so like Liz Truss prob bummed him out a fair amount and idk that he was thrilled about what Rishi was doing either. In fact the news outside the UK has been even more bummy outty. Chelsea had a shitty few years lol so since that’s his club and he’s a fan lol I bet you that was bumming him out. I don’t think Taylor “trying to make him laugh” was what he was interested in? Because I’m not sure he needed help or saving, like he was just bummed about a lot of stuff. Sometimes people get bummed. He happened to be bummed out about a lot of stuff when she was really positive about shit and I think that annoyed her and cramped her style and also yk Matty (which fwiw again Joe’s not an idiot so like guy he’s been told not to worry about or nah your partner hanging with her ex all the time is prob gonna bum you out a bit too).

I think it’s both fair and unfair to say “she tried her best” because fwiw I genuinely think she thinks she did but I also think HE genuinely thinks he tried his best.

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ibitsunahaato · 2 years ago

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Nimbus FUMBLE / Part 2

Tori: Goodness…

So being “pressed” is about feeling upset and bothered, huh. Then, you could have just said that. This is so hard to understand~

Aira: Ehehe, I ended up speaking the way I post online.

Tori: Well, I’m fine with that. If you’re saying that’s the trend right now, then I want to be in the know as well.

And? What’s been bothering you, Shiratori?

Aira: Hm~... Then… Is it okay if I ask for some advice, HImemiya-senpai?

Tori: Yeah. I don’t know if I can actually be of help. But I’ll do my best so try telling me what happened.

Aira: Um, you see… Recently, I’ve been feeling like my posts aren’t getting as many likes as they used to. I’m not getting many new followers either.

That doesn’t mean that I’m unhappy with my current fans.

Of course, I’m super happy whenever someone likes or replies to my posts, and I want to keep cherishing those who do.

So… I do get that it isn’t all about the numbers… It’s just that I’m worried if the problem is from my side.

What if… I’m losing my reach because my posts aren’t interesting…

Similar posts are available in plenty, so maybe I’m not delivering the things everyone wants to know and the topics they can enjoy.

Tori: Hm, I see~ So, in other words, you’re feeling like your posts are falling into a boring routine?

Aira: Ah, yes! That’s what I mean!

But in spite of that, I’m unable to think of any kind of breakthrough, you know.

Tori: So basically, you just need someone to produce your social media account, right? Then let me join you in brainstorming!

Aira: Huh… No, that’s… No matter how you look at it, I’d feel bad making Himemiya-senpai go that far for me.

My account is just a hobby of mine. Listening to me talk was more than enough.

Tori: Don’t worry about it. I just got some time to spare. And even if you’re unable to do it all alone, if the two of us think about it, some kind of great idea might pop up.

Not to mention, even Eichi-sama would produce projects for his family’s business, right? So I need to learn more about that kind of stuff.

Aira: Then… Is it okay if I accept your offer and make this request of you…?

OMG, the thought of being produced by the idol Himemiya Tori is killing me…! I’ll turn super LOVE for sure ♪ I’m so glad I didn’t hold back and asked for advice!

Tori: Yes, yes. But we can’t already be sure that it’s going to be a success, okay.

Now, let’s get going. Shiratori, let’s go~?

Aira: Huh? Where are we even going~?! Himemiya-senpai~?!

Aira: Um… This is the ES building? Why did we come here, Himemiya-senpai?

Tori: Fufufu. Excellent question, Shiratori!

For rice cakes, go to a rice cake shop![1] So for a viral hit, we go to an influencer! Every man knows his business best!

And since this is a place with so many idols and performers, doesn’t that mean that there’s tons of people here who have huge follower counts?

I was thinking that we could have a quick start by surveying such people.

Aira: I-I see! So we just need to ask for personal tips!

Tori: Yup. That’s what I mean. Now let’s start on the search to find someone who’s easy to talk to!

Aira: Hm~ I wonder if someone’s here…?

—Ah! Himemiya-senpai! Yuuki-senpai is over there. Let’s try asking him?

Tori: Eh~? Will asking Glasses Monk—Yuuki-senpai be of any use…?

Aira: What are you even saying, Himemiya-senpai?! Yuuki-senpai’s account is on another level!

It wasn’t that active a while back. But with the popularity of his fashionable, attractive pics and his gaming livestreams, it blew up recently.

His followers have been increasing at an incredible speed the past few months and it’s an up and coming account, you see! He’s a regular on stuff like the strongest trends rankings!

Besides, Yuuki-senpai interacts in a very friendly way with his fans. If you get the timing right, you can even get a reply from him, so his popularity is super high!

Look. This is the account I’m talking about—

Tori: What?! He has these many followers?!

Ughh, even though you��re a Glasses Monkey~...![2]

H-Hmph. Then maybe we can try asking him, yeah?

Aira: Yeah. Then, let’s…

He~llo, Yuuki-senpai~ Good afternoon~

Makoto: …Hm? Ah, good afternoon, Shiratori-kun and Himemiya-kun. What’s up? Did you want me for something?

Aira: Uhm… Please tell me the secret behind your popularity, Yuuki-senpai!

Makoto: Huh, what do you mean? That’s what I’d like to hear myself?!

Writer: Maiko Nishioka

← previous ✦ story masterlist ✦ next →

Proofing: Maximum Cheese

A Japanese saying

Tori's nickname for Makoto is メガネサル (literally "monkey wearing glasses") which is Japanese for a Tarsier

#ensemble stars #enstars #nimbus fumble #aira shiratori #tori himemiya #makoto yuuki

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snorkling-in-sodasea · 1 year ago

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Blitz-Related Thoughts

That being said, this is NOT for Blitz fans and I guess not for Stolitz fans, either, since I’ll be touching on his relationship with Stolas down this post. Regardless, any fans of what I’m about to talk about, Blitz and Stolitz, you probably wanna pass on reading this. You all have been warned.

In any case, this is ultimately just me wanting to put down my thoughts because sometimes you just wanna let it out, especially where you would like people to have taken the time to check it out.

So Blitz is apparently a loved character amongst the fanbase. I at least read some fanfics that seriously. Then again, there’s bound to be plenty who don’t like him and I land hard in that camp. That’s probably why some of other people’s versions of Blitz is written in high regard. I even know a fanfic writer who really likes the guy and, not that it’s bad, I still enjoy reading their stuff, but I feel that their version of Blitz is better than canon Blitz. Like it’s not really Blitz, but someone else with the name, face, and backstory but not the same personality or something like that, thanks to their love for this character that I just do not have. Maybe, for the lack of a better way of saying this, but there’s versions of Blitz that’s nobler or kinder than the real Blitz

At the start, as in the pilot, it was like, okay, he’s an asshole but I tolerate this fine. I’ll just need to see how this goes. Then the first episode of the series proper comes on and I’m like, ‘what the fuck is with that threat at the end!?’. Then I tried reasoning that he’s a demon, he’s not supposed to be good. Except that’s probably trying to still like the show on my part.

Then the show went on and I grew to dislike him less and less and reasoning that he’s a demon doesn’t make his shit easier to stomach for me. Biggest offenders is the constant breaking ins despite how much Moxxie doesn’t like it, the verbal abuse and humiliations on the guy, even insulting his wife at times. Honestly, the fact that Moxxie’s MY favorite character and I’m mostly watching it for him by now doesn’t help with my feelings towards Blitz (although Unhappy Campers did have Moxxie be cringe-worthy as fuck, I can’t ignore that even if that was the whole point from the writers). But anyways, there’s ensuring that Verosika doesn’t let go of her grudge with his behavior all the while being pissed off that she hasn’t let it go, being way too lenient but also invasive with Loona and seemingly intending to rely on a young kid to pursue a fantasy of a wholesome family if the flashback in Seeing Stars is anything to go by, being rather hypocritical in being upset that Stolas just sees him as something to get off on. A means to an end, basically (I read a post saying all about how Blitz had the right to be upset with Stolas’s behavior, I fully agree with it, and I’ll get to Stolas in a bit but it’s still hypocritical on Blitz’s part thanks to The Circus)

I guess the difference is, despite knowing that I can’t hold Blitz to human standards because he’s not human, Vivienne still put qualities in him so that we can actually relate to him, right? We’re investing our time to watch new episodes so we need protagonists that you actually want to follow as they go about their journey. For anyone and everyone who likes Blitz, good for them, since I eventually learned that Blitz is one of the fucking stars of the show. But hey, at least Moxxie gets a good chunk of screentime so it’s not all that bad for me. (Granted, I would have liked Millie to get more screen time and they’ll answered with Unhappy Campers. Never bought into it much because I felt like the episode was written and cast in a way that made me feel like the writers wanted me to feel something. Like it was a cue for a certain emotion)

The writing for Blitz got so bad for me that he’s crying on the couch after being at Ozzie’s and I’m thinking ‘finally, he feels like shit'. Because yeah, it was obvious the writers wanted me to feel bad for Blitz only for it to completely fail me for me because he was such an unrepentant douchebag most of the time. I see Queen Bee and I still never gave a shit when he’s all ‘I’ll die alone’ when Loona takes him back to their apartment. And this is after seeing Exes and Oohs where I was finally starting to view Blitz as tolerable thanks to the flashback to when they first met. By the way, I was so happy to finally see why Moxxie never ditched Blitz as early as the start of season 1; I always knew there had to be a special reason and there was

My feelings for Blitz only go as far as wanting him to be better so that he can stop being such a fucking douchebag. Because yeah, people rarely ever get better on their own so they need people’s help and Blitz needs people who won’t abandon them (fuck, I pity them). But I’m incapable of looking at Blitz crying on the couch and think ‘poor thing, he deserves comfort’. I can never like someone who acts like a raging jerkass to those they claim is family. Being a jerkass to outsiders is one thing but to your own family? Nope. And I got no indication that Blitz wants to actually do anything about his problems. Just find new people - or even past people, if Barbie is any indication - to latch onto and be jerkasses towards them until they go away and rinse, repeat, and all that shit. If someone is in a cage and they can get out but don’t because it’s too hard, then it’s their own fault that they’re in the fucking cage. To put it another way, Blitz may not like dealing with feelings but if he really has to be dragged through the process kicking and screaming, then I’m eventually gonna stop caring that he’s tortured. Provided I still cared at this point

And speaking of Barbie, I read another post about how Blitz is just as much fault as her. (I think I have put likes on the two posts I mentioned so far, too, so maybe they’re easy enough to find if you can find my likes and go through them). Anyways, Blitz is just as bad and I couldn’t care that Barbie didn’t want anything to do with him because of two reasons. One, Blitz never cared about what Barbie wanted or needed, it was just him who mattered in the grand scheme of things. And two, I know shit about Barbie that I haven’t already found out like being an addict who has a history with rehab and having a rocky relationship with her brother at best. So I don’t feel as negatively strongly towards Barbie as I do towards Blitz, since the former has only a little over three minutes of screen time while I’ve followed the latter since the damn start of the show. That means I don’t really know how bad, exactly, Barbie is. I know shit about their shared past, too, so there’s that factor put into consideration

The thing is, I eventually wondered just what made Eustace from Courage the Cowardly Dog or Dan from Dan Vs. so different, since those are definite jerk characters. Yet the former I found tolerable and even funny at times and the latter I enjoyed every single second he was on screen. I think the difference is, with Eustace, the writers made sure he got as much shit as he gave. I guess there’s seeing his mom and brother, too, so there’s an understandable reason for Eustace being a jerkass. For Dan, there was something about the writing that I loved it every single second he was on screen. Maybe it’s because the world Dan lives in is so batshit insane that I can’t help but want to root for for a perpetually angry bastard. Even when he’s clearly not the good guy like wanting to blow up an animal shelter from across the street, there’s something about the writing and the acting that makes me love it. Plus, the situations are so crazy I want to know more about what can happen; seriously, I already came across cookie stealing ninjas and dental-themed supervillains and dancing zombie-like monsters and I love it all

So yeah, bottom line, repeating for clarity, the most concern I can give Blitz is wanting him to get better so that his current family will be better off. Otherwise, I can’t care if he’s just as awful towards family as he is towards anyone else and I can’t care about people who don’t actually try to help themselves, especially if it’s because they don’t want to deal with their problems and take literally any other method than the one that would work if it means avoiding the heart of the matter

#blitzo #ranting #eustace bagge #dan vs

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xneontragedyx · 7 months ago

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Is it emotional abuse if my boyfriend says he hates me, doesn’t want me, and that I’ve been nothing but a shit girlfriend?

Yes it is. When someone puts you down and attempts to make you feel less than, it is indeed abuse. You don’t need that in your life. If someone cares for you, they will motivate you and lift you up, not tear you down. If you hear something enough, you will begin to believe it. If he feels that way then why is he with you? Better still, whey are you with him?

Move on and leave that abusive idiot to his own misery. Never let anyone break your spirit or your heart. You are worth more than that. The fact is that he needs you a lot more than you need him. Personally; I wouldn’t waste my time, but that is a decision you will have to make. Would you want your daughter to be treated that way? I don’t think so. Then why would you permit yourself to be? Np man is worth that Dear. Walk away now. There is no happily ever after to this.

Yes, it is.

Tell him if he's that unhappy, and if he thinks you're such as awful person, that he is more than welcome to walk his ass out the nearest door and get the fuck out of your life, and the sooner, the better.

Or you can leave him. Whichever is most convenient for you. Either way, dtmfa.

My ex was mad at me because apparently I was stupid and blind for not seeing the truth because he directly told me in his own way what he was doing but you know I don't speak cheater so I didn't I mean when you're not the other way over my head I didn't get it but yeah he he used to drop him some stuff and I just wouldn't get it cuz like I thought we were fine but yeah he would have a girl on the side and when I went to work on my daughter went to school she would come over from like 8:00 in the morning till like 3:00 or something maybe like 2:30 or whatever sometimes he would get her like a taxi like a taxi f I don't know I saw this online taxiF. I don't know what that is but it seems like a really shady like delivery of thing like a drivers and stuff I don't know it doesn't really explain what it is you know but it seems shady he also had on his thing had privacy.com which is you can like buy things hotels go out to eat pay for whatever but it's connected to your bank account but it's under like an alias like a hidden name so he had that and then he had live 360 which is a GPS for whoever signs up it's supposed to be like a positive thing right but he managed to like do something to the GPS where it gave off false locations to where it look like he was working but he was really like doing something else so he was doing all these things and then like he was cheating on me for a year and a half I think he got fed up because the girl was like waiting for him to like break up with me so he started getting really like like totally like a dick just so mean I try to work things out with him and but he finally like I don't know he was like I can't do this anymore and he broke the lease he broke the lease and that was that. Later on I found out that he was talking like mad s*** about me and my daughter saying that I was like a bad mom my daughter is a spoiled brat and lazy probably has ADHD or something he said I was fat ugly and dumb that all I was good for is the money he pretty much called me a cash cow and he said I had nothing of value to offer

Yes . This is so very sad. Learn the grey rock method here on Quora to help you. If possible , get into some therapy. He’s insecure and wants you to be also. He will not change , in fact this kind of person will become worse. The worst thing about this , is now you’re questioning yourself. He wants this …. Now he’s made his goal. Which is to upset you , confuse you , & to have you wa...

My boyfriend said he hates me during an argument. Did he mean it?

My boyfriend always says he hates me when he gets angry, but then tells me he didn’t mean it. Why?

What do I do with my boyfriend who treats me like he hates me and emotionally abuses me, then the next minute he's sweet? I've asked him to move out, but he won't leave, or tell me what he wants. Just silence and no love, but won't leave, why?

I might classify that as emotional abuse.

The more important issue is why are you still using the term “boyfriend” to refer to this person. How about promoting him to “ex-boyfriend”? Problem solved!

Break up with him.

He is, in the simplest human terms, a monster.

You don’t allow this.

You do not love him. You may have become desperate for his approval but he is unworthy of anything but contempt.

Save yourself. This is NOT love.

Honey do yourself a big favour and trade this fool in for a real one who will want you and respect you for who you are.

He is not your boyfriend, he is a boy who is abusing you to make himself feel better about himself.

Get rid of him dear.

I would definitely grant his wishes for being single! What an ass he is!!

You’re going to be so much better without him!!

Best wishes

Girl, Get you another boyfriend. Right Now!. You don’t need abuse from him. If you don’t get rid of him. He is going to start physically abusing you. I know you don’t want that to happen to you. So get rid of him now. Good Luck

Because he’s a selfish jerk, that’s why.

First, I’m going to tell you this: I’m 65 (female), married four times and several lovers. That’s my experience-and “hard education”.

Now, I’m going to tell you something that you don’t want to hear, but I say it to help you. Which I take it- is the only real reason that you are writing here.

Every time, from what I have experienced myself or observed in another’s relationship, (did I say EVERY SINGLE TIME), this behavior from a man meant that he was “cheating”.

I’m truly sorry to tell you-no woman wants to hear it. And many, MANY will just not let themselv

Yep. And you should leave his sorry pathetic abusive ass ASAP! He is an insecure loser who is taking out his feelings of failure and shortcomings out on you. You are nobody’s whipping post and you shouldn't accept being treated less than a person. Pack your stuff and get out before he takes it to the next level—and he will.

Good luck.

You would be abusing yourself if you remain in that relationship.

Why does my narcissistic boyfriend give me the feeling he hates me?

Because he does.

You are whole and he is sucking off your qualities and abilities, and he hates you for being better than him.

He resents you for being weak and a fool and letting him use you at the same time.

Please ditch that waste of human breath. Being alone is far better than being a narc feeder.

My boyfriend said he hates me during an argument. Did he mean it?

It doesn’t matter whether your boyfriend meant he hates during an argument. The fact that he said it should be enough to turn you away from him, Let your life change to something good you deserve.

My boyfriend says really mean things to me. Like, he hates me. But when he’s not mad, he says he didn’t mean it. What should I believe? It seems like some of the things he says are true.

Original question: My boyfriend says really mean things to me. Like, he hates me. But when he’s not mad, he says he didn’t mean it. What should I believe? It seems like some of the things he says are true.

44yr old male answer.

Get rid of his tailend. I told both of my boys if you want to be treated like a King they had to treat their ladies like Queens.

If he hit you and later said he didn't mean it I would hope that you get the hell away from him. That's what he is doing now but with words. I'm not saying he will turn physically abusive but the possibility of him becoming that way if he is verb

My boyfriend said he hates me during an argument. Did he mean it?

My boyfriend always says he hates me when he gets angry, but then tells me he didn’t mean it. Why?

What should I do if my boyfriend says he hates me and doesn't want me right now, but will soon, and to just give him time?

Why can’t I leave my narcissist boyfriend? I am miserable. He mentally and emotionally abuses me. Why do I keep letting this happen?

My boyfriend says really mean things to me. Like, he hates me. But when he’s not mad, he says he didn’t mean it. What should I believe? It seems like some of the things he says are true.

Why is it that when my boyfriend gets mad at me he says he hates me and I’m a worthless person?

What should you do when your boyfriend hates you?

What do I do when my boyfriend is all I want in a guy but has anger issues and emotionally abusive when he gets angry?

Why does my boyfriend treat me like he hates me but says he doesn’t, but treats me that way?

#tfatws #my otp #andrespatino #escrituras

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m3rkur3 · 2 years ago

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omg i have so much to say about everything and everyone is either asleep or dead or smth idfk like i wanna talk about what's going on with rq i wanna talk about how i felt about the last season of tma i wanna talk about the code i don't know how to start i wanna talk about how much i love coding in c i wanna talk about communism with someone i wanna talk about how the boy i am having intimate relations with is super anti communist and also possibly trans i wanna talk about how weird it is that the first guy i've had sex with ever especially since i worked out im maybe bi and not a lesbian is probably not a guy which is kinda funny to me i wanna talk about how frickin cold my room is even though the heating is all the way up i wanna talk about how the other day i recieved a package in the mail that upon further inspection was completely empty and the fact that i have no clue what i ordered if indeed i ordered anything i wanna talk about the fact that i joked to myself that it was maybe anthrax and someone was trying to kill me i wanna talk about the idea that if it had indeed been anthrax it would be hilarious that i had made a joke about it before i died i wanna talk about the fact that if it had killed me no one would have heard that joke and so only i in my ghost form would be able to laugh at it and there are other things i wanna talk about but i am maybe starting to feel the effects of the medicine wear off and i have done no work towards my degree in the last 9 hours and it's 7am and i am contemplating taking modafinil so i can get some more work done idk i am contemplating a lot .

i also wanna talk about the place i work in without fully doxxing myself even though i know we are never as fully anonymous as we think and that that one girl on tiktok could defo work out my full life story in like an hour just from this one post and i wnnna still talk about my bar i love that place so much and i wanna work there forever and i love bartending and i feel so cool behind the bar and everyone thinks im sexy there for some reason and i wanna talk about the fact that i feel so normal and honestly in my heart feel like i am so uninteresting and i dont really understand why people think i'm fun or funny or charming but they do and it really throws me off cuz idk how in the hell to talk to people but at the same time i also feel fine mostly about myself and i like myself a lot which i dont really get cuz how can i think these things and then be like "but honestly slay" and idk how much of that comes from my perceived prettiness which - segue - i like being pretty but what i don't like is that i can;t do things that make me pretty without people thinking i'm a girl which really really actually makes me unhappy and again i like the way i look and i also like wearing makeup and i look like a cis girl when i do and it sucks that it's either one or the other, doesnt it? but back to before the segue which i keep trying to spell with a q, how much of my contentment with myself comes from thinking im pretty? i dont want to be intensely focused on my appearnace and be upset with it when it doesnt look the way i want it to. i can feel that feeling within me already. like i like to do other things and i know i'm smart and i have different interests and stuff, this is not what i meant by not being interesting. i feel like i just struggle to make other people see what's interesting about me and when they say they do i feel like they're not seeing the real thing. idk idk anyways moving on cuz that is gonna take me a while to unpack,

i wanna also talk about afro anarchism and how i could implement that with my people like this is very imprtant to me. and yet i struggle to read theory cuz im interested but its so dry. i think thats why i loved the autobiography of malcolm x cuz that was a million lessons wrapped up into a fantastically written true life story. it was like a fable and malcolm x is my hero to be honest. i feel like i would feel the same about fred hampton or thomas sankara, but now i'm seeing a pattern of revolutionaries who were asssassinated. and i see issue with that because do i only idolise them because they were martyrs? maybe not just because they were martyrs, but i dont see myself ever being assassinated i'll be real with you guys. so am i just seeing them as myths and legends, gone before their time, never grew up, so effectively the same as black peter pans and therefore not real? therefore too divorced from my life for me to take on board anymore than 50% of their lessons? because i do feel pretty divorced from them. it may just be my age. but idk i don't feel like i'm a part of their story. and that's kind of sad. because the revolution begins in your heart and in yourself, and if i don't have that then what do i have? just intellectual, academic appreciation for them? that's nothing! that's not the struggle, that's just a history lesson. they knew that, they weren't just big because they talked the loudest, or even because they had something important to say. their charisma came from their complete and utter belief and devotion and i have the belief but anyone who knows me can tell you i struggle with devotion and commitment and not being a wishy-washy mess. and i struggle between my belief that the revolution does not need a martyr or a leader, that anarchist belief in the people as a community, and the feeling that we need someone special again. and part of me wants to take up that mantle just to whip everyone into shape you know! but i dont believe we can sustain ourselves on just that. when leaders die, movements wither. this is why i can't lead people, i dont have the conviction that that is a thing anyone should be doing. otherwise the causes they believed in, the people they shared their soul with, become lost and confused because they thought this one person could save them. that is so dangerous. a cult of personality is not just a thing on the right, it's a problem with us too. this is why i like to look at the black panthers who took up anarchism. but even then, how much are they doing in their community right now? how are they keeping the revolutionary spirit alive? even angela davis is doing some very non-revolutionary things right now and it's heartbreaking! are we destined to achieve nothing but the assimilation into the thing we used to fight? is all of this worth it? am i doing anything useful right now? i love the place i work but we're a music venue! are we doing anything useful? we're barely even agitating to join the IWW! it doesn't seem like what we want to do is pointless, is just seems like we're not doing it ! what could i do personally right now to better the conditions of anyone suffering anywhere? and that's also my problem. i work best with a step by step guide and the whole point of this shit is that there is none. i just have to work all this out myself and that is terrifying.

i need to do some C++ coding right tf now so i dont waste this vyvanse on tumblr blogging lol but anyways those are but a fraction of the things im concerned about right now guys.

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tortellinigirl · 2 years ago

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using sooo much effort every day to convince myself it’s okay that i don’t have a bunch of friends or the energy to wear cute outfits and take a million instagram pictures or be active on social media or have hobbies and it’s fine and i’m working on myself and i don’t need to be seen by others to exist :|

#it’s FINE #things are DIFFERENT right now bc i’m prioritizing my mental health #i only had those things before because i was putting them above healing #once i have HEALED i will be able to find ways to feel actually fulfilled and it will be FINE #yes i used to dress up every day and look unique but it made me so stressed to ever try to leave the house #it created a barrier of effort that prevented me from enjoying things #posting on instagram felt like an obligation and it made me feel like a product instead of a person #i’ve felt left out of my friend group for years and was only forcing my way back in because i felt like i was supposed to #or maybe i’m just depressed and the desire to socialize will come back #but either way it’s fine to not do stuff that makes me unhappy or upset!!!#ugh idk everything is weird and bad rn and i can’t tell if things are actually worse #or if i’m just finally looking at all my issues head on for the first time in my life

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because-of-a-friend · 3 years ago

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Seventeen Reaction: You Suddenly Being Shy

MASTERLIST

Thanks for the request anon! Hope you like it!!!!

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

He thinks is the cutest thing in the world and he also cannot believe he has that kind of sway over you. He's like????? They're shy around me?????? He'll do a lot of cute little things to try and get you to relax around him and be more comfortable being yourself around him. When you're not super close, he'll do random things to make himself look ridiculous so if he's intimidating to you at all, he seems less so. Then as you grow more comfortable with each other, anytime he notices you becoming quiet he'll do something like plucking your chin or some other cute gesture that he knows you'll have some sort of witty comeback for. He appreciates and adores both sides of you, but always wants to make sure you feel comfortable around him.

YOON JEONGHAN

Jeonghan will likely match your energy depending on how you're feeling. But he does have a habit of challenging your more sarcastic side because he tends to talk quite bluntly, so he thinks those conversations are more fun. He honestly has a lot of fun figuring out how to push your buttons until you two are ceaselessly teasing each other. He'll leave you be if it really seems like you're not up to it and respects when you're more quiet. He can always easily go with the flow depending on your mood.

JOSHUA HONG

Josh tends to also get shy around new people or one on one with people he doesn't know that well or in other moments he's not prepared for. So if you suddenly get shy, it'll probably trigger his shyness as well. He'll suddenly be unsure of what to say or where to look or how to act. Moments between you and Joshua tend to be very sweet and lighthearted since both of you are very careful towards each other. Any sort of friendship/relationship with each other with each other will progress slowly because it takes you two awhile to fully open up to each other. But it means that you two also eventually feel very comfortable around each other since you spent so much time building up trust.

WEN JUNHUI

He probably hates this lol. Not because of you but because he just can't stand awkward silence and puts all the pressure on himself to fix it. He also doesn't really get it????? Like you were fine around him when you were hanging out with other members or friends????? He watched you roast Wonwoo with no hesitation earlier???? But now that it's just you and him you're so shy?????? Get ready for chaotic Jun because he's going to be pulling all of the punches to get you to laugh again. Honestly when there's an awkward silence he can't really help but keep talking to fill it in, so you might learn a lot more about Jun in five minutes than you thought you would in years lol.

KWON SOONYOUNG

(Sorry for using such a big gif but he really is the prettiest man on earth omfg)

Might also be a little awkward when you suddenly get shy. He worries that he said something to offend you or that maybe you don't like him. So he tends to approach you carefully when he notices that you're shy around him to make sure that you two are on good terms. He'll actually make an effort to talk more quietly around you and try to sit really still and not make any sudden big movements so he doesn't catch you off guard or upset you. He tries to be as polite as possible and will make a real effort to start enjoyable conversations. Probably asks other people stuff like what movies you like or what songs you listen to so he has something to talk to you about when he sees you.

JEON WONWOO

Pls this is his worst nightmare. He's not confident in handling social situations so when you suddenly get quiet around him, he has no idea what to do. He'll awkwardly blurt out some random questions and cringe inwardly every time it doesn't lead to an actual conversation. He'll wonder what's up since you seemed so confident around other people. Like Soonyoung, he'll worry over you not liking him for some reason. He'll probably actually end up pulling back and letting you approach him in the future so any contact between you two can be on your terms so he knows you're comfortable.

LEE JIHOON

May not fully notice. Jihoon tends to be off in his own world anyways so your mood change around him may fly right over his head. He's not always conscious of people's behaviors and changes in them because of his tendency to zone out. Honestly it's sort of a relief. If you're feeling a little more nervous as you spend one on one time with him, it's almost nice that he seems to continue on with business as usual. It's nice that he won't really point it out or make a big deal of it. He's usually pretty gentle during conversation anyways so it's not like there's anything he's doing to be intimidating. If he notices you being shy, he might get a little shy as well, but he'll do anything he can to make you comfortable and get on your good side.

LEE SEOKMIN

Seokmin is such a people pleaser so you suddenly going quiet is going to be a problem for him. He needs you to like him so much. He's going to figure out what makes you feel the most comfortable around him. Do you want him to take the lead in conversations? Would you prefer he back off a little? Do you like it when he's joking? More serious? He'll test the waters and feel out what brings back your more confident side so he can tell what makes you more comfortable around him. He'll navigate every conversation with care so you'll enjoy talking with him.

KIM MINGYU

Also the type to kind of slip up when this happens. He doesn't know how to continue when you suddenly get shy around him. It highkey gives him butterflies, he thinks it's so cute. So then he's shy around you, leading to him doing awkward things, all while he's trying to help you feel less shy around him. He's a giggling/blushing mess around you 24/7, which definitely helps him seem less intimidating. But he very much genuinely wants you to feel comfortable around him so he'll always be as kind and friendly as possible.

[A/N: So Tumblr has suddenly decided I can only add ten imagines to each post even tho up until now, I was able to add gifs for all thirteen members. Soooo I was wondering if you guys preferred for me to either separate maknae line and hyung line for reactions, or if you want me to leave gifs out and have all members in one post for reactions, or if y'all want to do it by request??? Until I get a good read on what y'all want I'm just gonna cut the gifs are where I have to lol. Please let me know what y'all want me to do!!!!]

XU MYUNGHO

Myungho takes this in a silent stride. When he notices you suddenly get shy around him, he'll just sort of quietly take note of it. He'll try to encourage your usual sarcastic side to make sure you know he's comfortable with it. If it doesn't seem like it's working, he'll back off and try to take things slow and gentle with you until you feel more comfortable around him one on one. He'd never admit it but he is ecstatic when your sarcastic side starts to show. Any biting remark you have for him is met with a smirk and an equally biting remark. He's fine when you're more shy but he'll feel uneasy himself until you're comfortable around him.

BOO SEUNGKWAN

Seungkwan will have an "oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no" moment when he realizes you're suddenly shy around him. He also wants everyone to like him and be happy around him. He will also wonder if he did something to offend you and be incredibly nervous and unhappy until you're comfortable around him again. He's constantly hesitant when approaching you and then as conversation progresses, he'll pull out the big guns with his humor to get you laughing and hopefully back to your normal self.

VERNON CHWE

This may also go over his head. Vernon isn't always super in tune with the people around him just depending on what's going in his head. He also usually lets the people around him lead conversations anyways, so he'll just follow your vibes conversation to conversation. When you're shy he'll just speak to you casually and keep it light. When your more sarcastic side shows, he'll vamp it up and match your energy (although with him, he'll use sarcasm as a way to casually flirt for sure lol). But overall it's hardly even noticeable to him.

LEE CHAN

Dino probably also gets shy when you get shy. He may not notice your change at first but as soon as he does he just goes "oooooooooh" and then backs way off. He's the type to awkwardly laugh every other sentence when speaking to you, desperate to make sure the conversation feels light and happy. He's not really the best at navigating meeting new people and learning how to connect with them specifically. He's happy to try anything and everything to help you feel more at ease around him, though.

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euphoricsunflowers · 3 years ago

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sub drop — monsta x

request: Hey so I'm not entirely sure if you accept reaction requests if not then a headcanon is fine I was wondering how a male reader would take care of sub monsta x during a sub drop possibly a mix of for some it's their first ever sub drop and for others it's not, tysm n ily!!

a/n: sorry this took forever 😭😭 i hope you like it :,)

word count: 1.8k

content: sub!monsta x, none are smutty :), sub drop obviously, use of a safeword (minhyuk’s part), aftercare, just general sub/dom things,

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son hyunwoo/shownu:

he can’t shake the feeling. he tries to just get over it, because while he obviously knows you care about him, he’s doesn’t want to let you know that anything is wrong. and he doesn’t even know what’s wrong with him.

it’s just that every time you’ve been holding him close, objectifying him in a way that he adores, making him feel like all he has to be is pretty to be worthy of praise, it doesn’t feel like it should. he’s so used to pressure, pressure, pressure. he’s used to high expectations, and he’s used to working hard because he can’t let people down. he’s always been adored, but with you, he doesn’t have to work for it.

and yet, it doesn’t have the same kick that it used to. he doesn’t get the high, airy, “in the clouds” feeling, at least not recently. he knows you can sense it, he’s a good actor but he’s not that good of an actor, and you can see it in his eyes. he’s getting uncomfortable and nervous.

“sweet bear,” you murmur as you wrap your arms around him, “what’s been going on with you? is everything alright?”

“i’m okay,” he responds blankly, but he holds you tightly like he doesn’t ever want to let you go, “i just haven’t been feeling great about… you know what recently.”

“ah, then that could be my fault. i need to take care of you better afterward. how about tonight we just relax, not as dominant and submissive, but just as lovers?”

“okay.”

lee hoseok/wonho:

you find him with tears on his cheeks as he cries silently. he either sobs unimaginably loud and buries himself into your arms for hours on end, or he’s quiet in your room with soft sniffles and hiccups heard from the other side of the door.

but he just lies there, crying. he looks so out of it, but in the worst way possible. he looks miserable, wallowing in the feelings that he’s silently submerged himself in hopes that you wouldn’t have to see him like this.

“hoseok, darling,” your words fill the room, and he’s suddenly so suffocated by all the darkness.

“please- i- please make it stop.”

you’re by his side in a second, “make what stop, baby?” he shakes his head, pulling you by your wrist onto the bed so you’re as close to him as possible as he cuddles and wraps himself around you like you’re a teddy bear, “sweetheart,” you say, running your fingers through his hair. he sighs comfortably with you close to him and playing with his hair always made him feel sleepy.

as the tears begin to stop, you lull him to sleep with little whispered nothings, “i love you, sweetheart. please let me know whenever you start to feel bad, okay? i want to be here for you.”

lee minhyuk:

it’s not like it never happens, but it’s still so unusual that it confuses him every time. it creeps up on him slowly until he’s lying beneath you, all dazed and under your control, with a sudden ache in his stomach. it’s anxiety and nervousness that he has no reason to be feeling, but he does.

he knows you wouldn’t want him to hide it, so he calls the safeword immediately, and the change in your expression and demeanor makes his heart swoon just a little bit. suddenly he’s free from the restraints and in your arms and you’re whispering sweet things to him, rubbing his chest to soothe the marks you’d left earlier.

“it's happening again,” he groans, “the thing we had talked about a while ago. when i started feeling bad all of a sudden.”

“ahh, okay. thanks for telling me, sweetheart,” you press a kiss to his forehead, “what i can do right now to help, besides the obvious aftercare stuff?”

“please just- tell me you didn’t mean the things you said to me.”

his plea makes your heart shatter just a bit, but you keep it together for his sake, “i meant none of it. you’re the most important and sweetest angel in my life, my darling sun. i could never mean it. you’re such a sweet soul, my perfect little vita-min,” he smiles softly, feeling so high and light, “i love you, min. don’t forget it.”

he's not mentally there enough to say it back, but you can feel it in the way he moves to hold your hand. you take it, and never let him go.

yoo kihyun:

kihyun is a good communicator… most of the time. he’s mostly gotten past the instinct to bury his feelings down and just deal with whatever’s happening because that had upset you in the past and he doesn’t like making you upset.

but he didn’t know how to verbalize these feelings that had slowly overtaken him. he’s never felt these paralyzing and hellish feelings before, they crept upon him, and the moment you were out that door, they hit him like a ton of bricks.

he wants to call out your name, he wants to cry, but he doesn’t. he can’t. he just lies there, swallowed up by the sheets as he suffocates on his own feelings.

“hey,” you whisper, catching his attention. he’s startled by your call, and you can see in his reaction and nervousness that he isn’t alright.

but he’s still kihyun, and this vulnerability he didn’t get to allow himself to show leaves him anxious, he doesn’t have a sense of control over his lack of control and it makes him uncomfortable.

“kihyun, baby, you’re alright,” you murmur as you kiss his forehead, “you’re okay. you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to, just tell me what you need. do you want me here with you? or would you rather me go sit in the other room?”

“with me,” he groans, offering up a spot on the bed next to him, “i want to hold you,” he says. he looks so small right now, especially because his fiery, intense, yet loving personality is just so big that you forget that he’s this fragile little thing sometimes. in that moment, all you felt like doing was holding him tightly and never letting go, protecting him from all the bad things and bad feelings.

but that wasn’t what he wanted. he’s still your kihyun, and this is his way of feeling better, “okay,” you say, “hold me close, will you?”

chae hyungwon:

hyungwon is naturally kind of embarrassed that he’s submissive to you. he hides it well, but he still asks that it not be brought up to any extent in conversation that involves other people. to the world, hyungwon is the one in control, and only behind closed doors does he fall to his knees for you.

but, still, that nervousness and shyness and anxiety eats away at him, makes him feel small and unconfident, and he starts to distance himself emotionally whenever he’s unhappy for any reason. you had done nothing wrong, but hyungwon still hasn’t found peace with the nature of your relationship.

it’s not that he’s deprived of what he wants, but being yours is what he wants, he just can’t stand for anyone else to know that.

and so these bad feelings manifest every now and then, but you and him are used to them. he gives himself a few hours to wallow in them, to truly feel them, and then he asks for a cute little date night as a reminder that your relationship is built off of love and not just dominance over him.

and of course, he requests that you sweet talk him the whole night, “i love you, wonnie. don’t ever believe otherwise, you hear me? you’re my perfect little butterfly, so tall and gorgeous and sweet and kind and loving and absolutely perfect. there’s nothing i don’t adore about you.”

it seems to do the trick.

lee jooheon:

he can’t tell when it happens, but you spot it every time. he becomes somewhat hostile towards you, of course, the feelings aren’t exactly what he wants to feel but he can’t help the amount to which he just becomes harsh and closed off.

but he still listens, still smiles faintly when you hold his hand, “jooheon, sweetheart, im sorry we’ve been neglecting your needs to the point where you feel this way, can you please just talk to me? can you tell me how you feel?”

“i- i don’t feel good. i don’t feel good about anything we do usually, and i’m stuck on why. i’m not hurt, you took care of me well after every session. and i’m just-”

he doesn’t finish his sentence, but you find the right words for him, “frustrated that you don’t understand your feelings?”

“yeah… yeah that’s about right. i’m not mad at you, i just- im mad that i don’t understand why i feel so bad right now.”

“joo, baby, this isn’t irrational or not normal. it’s completely fine to feel like this, and in fact, i’m glad you’re so in tune with your feelings that you’re really trying to understand and feel them completely. hiding them won’t do anything.”

“so- what do we do now?” he asks.

“whatever you want, my sweet bee. you come first tonight.”

im changkyun/i.m:

it had been days since the session, and yet the bad feelings wait to hit him when he’s making breakfast for himself, without you there. he’s not at home and won’t be for a while, and subsequently doesn’t have you there with him.

with the time difference that he forgot to take into account, you’re asleep when he calls. he tries to apologize heavily for waking you up, but since he woke you up, you’re not letting him hang up unless he tells you why he called.

“i didn’t feel well emotionally all of a sudden, and i just wanted to be with you,” he murmurs, and it shatters all of your tired little heart, “and this is the best i’ve got right now. i’m sorry for bothering you while you were asleep, my love.”

“don’t apologize for prioritizing your needs, kyun. do you want to talk?”

“not… really??”

“alright, then i’ll stay on the call with you. im gonna try to go back to sleep, but please let me know if you want to talk. no sleep is more important than my angel.”

—

taglist: @lovingonrepeat @neosincity @sub-hoshi-enthusiast @multidreams-and-desires @hobilluvvr @vanillaknj @yr-domxfantasies @treasure-hwa @fleurshopsub @rubyscloud9 @silencefavarchive @nct99 @bigkpopstan @monstaxdirtywonk @domreaderrecs @mochi-ficz and always feel free to ask to be added to/removed from the taglist <3

#subidolnet #monsta x #sub!monsta x #sub!monsta x smut #sub!idol #shownu #sub!shownu #wonho #sub!wonho #minhyuk #sub!minhyuk #kihyun #sub!kihyun #hyungwon #sub!hyungwon #jooheon #sub!jooheon #changkyun #sub!changkyun

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animezing-fandoms · 3 years ago

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The Gift She Wants

Masterlist

Warnings: None this is just pure fluff.

Relationships: Nalu

Summary: Natsu attempts to write Lucy a love letter for her birthday.

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Lucy’s never really enjoyed her birthday. It used to be fun when her mom was still around. But after her death, her birthday had always been ignored by her father. But that all changed once she joined Fairy Tail. Every morning on July 1st she’d walk into the guild to find a huge party set up for her. It was a sweet gesture even though the guild hall usually wound up trashed by the end of the day because of all the drinking and fighting that ensued.

But that wasn’t the only thing that was the same every year. The presents that Lucy got from her friends were all the same. Gray would make her a little ice sculpture of a star that would melt after a day but she never had the heart to tell him. Gajeel did something similar with jewelry but it was made out of iron and really big and bulky so they were all too heavy to wear for long. Similarly, Erza would give her a sword or some other weapon that was too heavy for Lucy to lift. Juvia would offer her baked goods she made herself but for awhile Lucy was always cautious to eat them, knowing how jealous Juvia was about her friendship with Gray. Thankfully that wasn’t a problem anymore, and now her gift was one she was looking forward to along with the book from Levy and perfume from Mira that she got every year. There was only one gift she truly dreaded and that was from Natsu.

Every year she hoped that he would give her something different, only to be proven wrong when he whisks her away on some dangerous job that leaves her exhausted, dirty, and bruised. The only good part about it was that she got to spend time with him, and have a little fun when she wasn’t fearing for her life. And as the years went on, she hoped that perhaps him taking her on these jobs alone meant that he would talk to her about things. Things that she knew he probably never thought about but that deep down, she dares to hope that he does.

So she thought she knew what to expect during her birthday party this year when he approached her, holding something behind his back. She took a deep breath, ready to see what job flyer he’d present her with only to find a book with a pink bow wrapped around it instead.

“What’s this?” Lucy asks, surprised and cautiously optimistic. “Is it part of a job or-”

“No it’s not a job. It’s just a journal.” Natsu says. “I couldn’t figure out what to get you for your birthday this year so I asked Gildarts for advice and he told me I should get you something that you’ve been wanting to get or something you’d like so I thought I’d get you both!”

Lucy was confused and touched at the same time. She was also relieved that for once she wouldn’t have to worry about getting hurt on her birthday! And it was a really sweet and thoughtful gift! She likes to write so he got her a journal...He really thought about it to get her something she’d enjoy! Is he starting to change?

“Thank you so much Natsu!” Lucy exclaims, beaming with happiness as she holds the gift to her heart. “I love it!”

She had no idea just how much she’d love it later.

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After the party, she brought all the gifts she was able to carry back to her apartment with her and immediately unwrapped the bow on the journal to open it.

To her surprise, there was already writing in it. Natsu’s writing.

Her heart sunk. The last time he had written her something was a note telling her he was leaving for a year with Happy. And then the guild disbanded and she was all alone. He wasn’t leaving her again was he?

With her heart pounding, she scanned the page, reading the words and bracing herself for heartbreak. But instead she found the opposite.

Dear Lucy,

I hate writing and I’ve never written something like this before so I don’t know how good it’s gonna be but this is something I know you want to hear so I’m gonna try my best for you like I always do. I’m not good with words. Most of the things I say to you make you upset with me so I try to show how I feel about you with my actions instead of my words. And while I think that’s given you enough of an idea to know that I care about you, I don’t think you get how much I really do. So I guess I’ve got to be more clear and I figured since you love writing this is the best way to do it.

You’re amazing. You’re so powerful, beautiful, and kind and you shine brighter than any star or dragon’s fire. I have no idea why you still hang around an idiot like me who doesn’t know how to treat you right but I hope the reason is because you feel the same way about me that I do about you. I’ve never had feelings like this before, so I’m sorry if I’ve frustrated you but I just don’t know anything about love aside from how I feel about you. Gramps and Gildarts used to lecture me on how great relationships are and how they hoped I’d fall in love and get married and have kids someday but I never wanted that because there wasn’t anyone I wanted to do that stuff with until you came into my life.

It took me awhile to figure it out but now everything they told me about makes sense. I want to be with you Lucy, as more than just a friend. I know I don’t deserve you but I’m working hard to make you happy because that’s what you deserve. And I can tell that not knowing that has made you unhappy. So I’ve got to just be straight to the point and say it. I love you Lucy Heartfilia. I think that’s what you want to hear, so that’s what I’m giving you for your birthday.

~Natsu

Lucy’s tears of joy were dripping onto the page so she quickly closes the book to keep her tears from washing away those sweet words.

This was better than she could have ever imagined. And all she wanted was to run to Natsu and start this new chapter in their relationship together. Thankfully, knowing him, she didn’t have to go far.

With tears dripping down her cheeks, she pulls back the curtain to her bedroom to find the man she loves and his blue cat in her room. She’d never been so happy to have them break into her apartment.

“Lucy did you like the-Aw damnit, you’re crying!” Natsu exclaims, looking hurt and disappointed with himself. “I messed up again!”

“What did you expect, you took relationship advice from Gildarts!” Happy chastises. “That guy can’t hold onto a woman, what does he know-”

“No you didn’t!” Lucy reassures him. “Natsu it was perfect! I love it! I love you too!” She exclaims.

Before Natsu has a chance to process what she said, Lucy dashes across the room, tossing the journal onto her bed before throwing her arms around his neck as he catches her in his before she kisses him.

Happy’s jaw drops and Natsu’s eyes go wide for a moment, surprised by her affection before he returns the kiss, closes his eyes and moves his hands along her back to hold her closer to him as he relishes in this new feeling.

She brings her hands up to his face to run her thumbs along his cheekbones while his hands settle on her hips as they gently pull apart.

A blush forms on Lucy’s face as she realizes what exactly she’s done and is immediately embarrassed by how forward she was being.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry that probably came out of nowhere and I should have asked first-” Lucy rambles before Natsu’s chuckle pulls her gaze back to his face and when he sees the warm look in his eyes and the smirk on his lips, she instantly relaxes.

“It’s fine Lucy. I was hoping you’d kiss me. I just hope it was a good kiss, considering I’ve never done that before...” Natsu admits shyly.

“It’s okay. I’ve never kissed anyone before either.” Lucy tells him. “This is new for me too. We’ll figure it out together, just like we do for everything else.”

She rests her head on his chest and Natsu holds her close and rests his cheek on top of her head.

“Well you know a lot more about this stuff than I do. So you’ll have a lot to teach me.” Natsu admits and Lucy laughs.

“Well you gave me a very thoughtful gift, so clearly you’ve already got some idea of what to do.” Lucy says.

“You just mean so much to me.” Natsu says. “I’ve never felt this way before for anyone else and I doubt I ever will. You deserve someone who can make you happy and give you everything you want.”

“Well if everything you wrote in that letter is true, then I have no doubt that person is you.” Lucy says. “I just want one more thing.”

“What is it?” Natsu asks, pulling back to look at her. “Whatever it is I’ll give it to you.”

“Just tell me you love me. I know you wrote it but I want to hear you say it.” Lucy requests.

Natsu smiles, more than happy to fulfill that wish.

“I love you Lucy.” Natsu says and fresh tears spring from Lucy’s eyes as a result.

“I love you too Natsu.” She says before kissing him again.

The sounds of Happy sniffling pull them out of the moment.

“What’s wrong little buddy? Are you crying because you’re happy for us?” Natsu asks.

“I’m so happy for both of you!” Happy sniffles. “But I can’t believe that someone as dense as you managed to get a girlfriend before me!” He wails and the new couple laughs.

Yep. Definitely the best birthday ever. And now Lucy couldn’t wait to see what Natsu would do for her next year.

#nalu #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #fairy tail #nalu fanfiction

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years ago

Text

childhood secrets ~ hannibal lecter;hannibal

word count: 1711

request?: yes!

shady80smusicsingercolor “Hey! Can i request something

Hannibal l x reader

The reader kept her childhood a secret from everyone,until she was watching news about a teen getting bullied,she remembers her childhood and just cries.Hannibal notices and goes run up to her,ask what's wrong.She explain what happen,that her childhood friends used make fun of her,or calling her weirdo.Hannibal comforts her

Hope is okay❤”

description: after hearing the story of a teenager’s tragic passing, unwanted memories are brought back to her

pairing: hannibal lecter x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts, mentions of bullying

masterlist

“Did you hear about the Thompson girl?” Zeller asked as we examined some DNA for a case.

“Who’s the Thompson girl, first and foremost?” I asked.

“She was friends with Abigail Hobbs when she was sent to that psychiatric facility,” Price explained. “They were room neighbors I think.”

“Oh! That Hannah girl! What happened to her?”

“Her parents found her dead in her room. Suicide.”

I was so shocked at the response that I dropped the tool in my hand. Both of them looked at me for a moment as I just looked down at my hands. I was trying to calm the growing PTSD rising in me.

“The poor thing,” I finally managed to say.

“Yeah,” Price said. “I think she was in the facility because of mental illness. Her parents put her in there after her first attempt.”

Zeller shook his head. “Poor thing. They shouldn’t have let her check out so soon. (Y/N), are you okay?”

I was still staring down at my hands. They were shaking and it was getting hard to breathe. I could barley register the fact that Zeller had asked me something. They were both looking at me, expectantly.

“What? Yes, I’m fine,” I responded. “I gotta get some fresh air.”

I threw my coat and gloves on a nearby table and quickly raced for the exit. I had to wait for the elevator to take me to the ground floor, but the wait was antagonizing. My chest and throat felt tight, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

When the elevator door opened, I was faced with Jack Crawford, Will Graham, and Hannibal Lecter.

“(Y/N),” Crawford said. “Are you okay?”

I couldn’t respond this time. I had to get out, I had to be away from there.

The breathe of fresh air in my lungs was just what I needed, but I was still feeling panicked. Flashbacks were running through my head, things I had repressed for all those years coming back all at once, hitting me like a freight train. I sat down on the sidewalk, trying to calm my breathing enough to go back inside.

“Miss. (Y/L/N)?”

I looked up to see Hannibal stood behind me.

“I’m fine, Dr. Lecter,” I told him. “You don’t have to check on me.”

“You’re very obviously not okay. You’re breathing is abnormal and you look as though you’ve been crying.”

I felt my cheek and was shocked to find that Hannibal was right, I had been crying. I hadn’t even realized it before.

“I’m fine,” I repeated, but the crack in my voice gave me away.

Hannibal sat next to me. I tried not to let him see my face, but I knew there was no turning back now. He had seen me in the elevator, he saw how unhappy I was at that moment. Any other person would just think I was overwhelmed from work, or maybe one of our discoveries had upset me, but Hannibal was a talented psychiatrist. He probably already knew what was wrong with me.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

I chuckled. “How often does that one work?”

“Enough times to keep me employed.”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Zeller and Price were telling me about a girl that used to be friends with Abigail, Hannah Thompson. She...she...”

“I know,” Hannibal finished for me, luckily. Just thinking about having to finish that sentence made my throat tight again. “I wasn’t aware you knew her so well.”

“I didn’t, but I know...the feeling. Like you’re trapped in your own mind and there’s only one way out of it.”

Hannibal was looking at me, waiting for me to continue but not pushing me to go any further than I felt comfortable with. I wouldn’t have to go any further with my explanation if I didn’t want to, I knew he wouldn’t force me. We could’ve dropped it right then and there.

But my mouth moved before my mind could comprehend what I was sating, “I was the weird girl in school. While other girls wanted to be princesses or astronauts, I wanted to be a forensic scientist. I always had a fascination with crime and forensics and such. At first, I was just an outcast with no friends, until a group of girls took me in and added me to their group in high school. They weren’t super popular girls, but they also weren’t my level of outcast or anything, so, understandably, I was excited.”

“I’d assume it wasn’t as ideal of a situation as you were led to believe.”

I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes again. “They only befriended me so I could be their verbal punching bag. It started mild at first, just some friendly jokes that I could throw back at them. Then they started calling me the weird girl, the freak who liked death and murder. They’d make fun of me for reading stuff about unsolved murders, or even just murder mystery novels. They told me I’d probably grow up to be one of the unfound murderers in those stories. They put me down at every chance they got, but they were the only friends I had so I just...I dealt with it. I even gave up the opportunity to shadow at a police department during my senior year because I was afraid of them making fun of me more.”

“What was the tipping point?” Hannibal asked. “Obviously they are no longer around. I assume either you got rid of them or...they left themselves.”

“A bit of both really,” I responded. “One day, their bullying just got too much for me. My parents never liked the group, so I felt like I couldn’t go to them because they’d just tell me ‘I told you so’ - not because that’s how my parents are but because that was my irrational fear - and the teachers and guidance councilors and principals at school were garbage. They did nothing unless they actually witnessed the bullying first hand, and even then it was always a slap on the wrist punishment. So, I thought...I thought I only had one way out.”

I was still half conscious when my parents found me. My mother’s screams were permanently etched in my head, her sobs breaking through the otherwise muffled sounds I was hearing. Even when I blacked out, all I could hear in my head was my mother.

“They sent me to the same hospital Abigail was in,” I continued, skipping over the nasty parts that I couldn’t bare to relive. “My parents said I needed actual, medical help, that they couldn’t ignore my mental health issues anymore. I was there for months. I met people just like me, people who understood what I was going through. I made friends with a lot of them, and they’re all still in my life right now. My high school friend group came to visit me at one point. They seemed genuine enough with their apologies, saying they didn’t realize how much I took their words to heart and how they didn’t know how dark of a place I was in mentally. I don’t know how true any of that was, but they put on a good act. When they finished their groveling, I told them to go fuck themselves and to never contact me again. They were...offended, to say the least. Apparently they spread rumors about me at school, but I finished my senior year at a different school so it didn’t really matter to me. Went off to do forensic science in college and...here I am.”

For a moment, a look of pride passed over Hannibal’s face, as if the end of my story made him feel proud for me. I guess it made me feel proud, too, but sometimes I kicked myself for sticking around with that toxic friend group for far too long.

“I’ve never told anyone that,” I admitted. “Not anyone who didn’t know me at the time, anyways. I tried to keep it repressed, but hearing about Hannah Thompson...it brought all those memories back for me. Maybe I’m not over it like I think I am.”

“Mental trauma when your brain is still developing is not something one can easily get over,” Hannibal said. “It takes years, and even then those painful memories could follow you to your grave.”

I winced at the thought of having to battle with those memories until the day I died. Part of me was still worried that they would be the reason I would eventually die.

“But it is important to know that your old friend group was wrong,” he continued. “There is nothing wrong with being interested in something that the masses aren’t interested in. I’d argue that being interested in murder and police work is much better than wanting to grow up and be a princess or an astronaut. Your job helps the police to find serial killers and to save innocent people from being their victims. There’s nothing weird about that, not in my eyes.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Dr. Lecter. I think I just needed to hear that when I was younger and...no one really said it to me before.”

“I’m saying it now,” he said. “If you ever feel overcome with those memories again, please do not hesitate to call me. A beautiful and brilliant mind such as yourself should not be worrying over what irrelevant people have to say about you.”

I felt myself blush, but I wasn’t sure if it was from the reassurance Hannibal was giving me, or if it was from the compliment.

“I want to sit out here for a little while longer,” I told him. “I still need some air, and to come down from what happened back there. You don’t have to wait for me.”

“I don’t have to, but I will,” he decided. “I want to make sure you’re okay before I join my collegues again.”

I smiled at him again. I definitely wasn’t about to fight him on staying there with me. Quite the opposite, actually. If there was anyone I wanted with me in that moment, it was Hannibal.

#hannibal lecter #hannibal lecter imagine #hannibal lecter x reader #hannibal #hannibal imagine #mads mikkelsen #mads mikkelsen imagine #mads mikkelsen x reader #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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sharedtrauma · 2 years ago

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omg im seeing so many people talking about dropping the show and?? that's fair i guess?? if it's making you unhappy, by all means drop it. but i guess i just didn't think it was. that bad? idk maybe it was me going in with a couple spoilers (spoilers that, until they happened, i doubted were true. for the most part. i was convinced on you know who's death, like i was sure it was happening.) like i was still surprised with a couple of things that i didn't like, but most of the surprises were things i really liked. so maybe it was that i had time to prepare for a lot of the stuff i wasn't super happy with, and all the stuff i loved was new to me. but idk i really dont think these episodes or the season are. bad? i'm also convinced they're gonna clear eddie's name in season 5. like there wouldn't be time to do that in two days but they left a lot of threads unresolved and i really don't think the gang will just let that perception of eddie hang around if they can do anything about it. there are other unresolved threads that i'm not confident in them wrapping up properly, but that is one i have faith in. (crossing my fingers that i am not wrong on this). i do feel dread thinking about max not being a part of the season tho she'd better wake up in episode 3 at the latest. i am not going to be satisfied with only seeing my girl for a short time during the final season.

Yeah I mean volume 2 was so grueling it makes sense some people would want to just try and forget about it and move onto something else but it is sad to see. I agree, I genuinely really loved it. There were some things I really disliked, obviously. I saw leaks before volume 2 was released and just tried to ignore them and pray they were fake but they were all real. I guess I was prepared a little in that sense, I knew about Eddie’s death & Max’s coma but I wasn’t too sure. It still hurt like hell. If anything, it just made me anxious leading up to the release and depressed after lol. The only things I didn’t like were Eddie dying, Mike’s bullshit monologue/the discarding of Will’s character and feelings & the weird stancy shit they had going on for no fucking reason. Apart from that, my god was this season incredible. I’m also convinced they’re going to clear Eddie’s name because I can’t bear to think of the alternative. It just hurts way too fucking much, I can’t think like that. I can’t cope with him being remembered like that, I just can’t. I won’t be happy until they either have Eddie be another fake death (which I think is a lot more likely than people think. There are a few things pointing to that possibility in my opinion) or his name gets cleared and he gets a funeral. I need him to have a proper send off, for him to be remembered as a hero like he deserves. I need them to let him rest peacefully otherwise I just can’t deal. As for Max, yeah. I need her to wake up so badly, I’ll be really upset if she’s not in season 5 much. I need her to wake up happy and relieved surrounded by her friends. I’m interested to see what condition she’ll be in after she wakes. I don’t know much about medical shit so I’m not sure if she’ll have movement in her legs and arms anymore after the breaks. I don’t know how bad bones have to break for movement to be permanently restricted. As for her sight, whether it heals or she’s permanently blind and to what extent if she is we don’t know yet. Obviously I want her to be in the best condition as possible so she’s still able to do all the things she loves that require sight and movement to the same extent as before but I will be kind of pissed if she’s perfectly fine after since that feels a little unrealistic and ableist. Overall, I really liked volume 2 and I’m hoping that season 5 can give Eddie & Max a happier ending whatever it may be, just better than being in a coma and being hated by the town you died to protect.

#thank you for this ask!! i loved hearing what your thoughts surrounding this season were #st4 spoilers #stranger things #eddie munson #max mayfield #asks #anon

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skellebonez · 3 years ago

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14. With a possessed monkie kid? (Doesn't have to be my au, i just crave possession stuff rn fbsbfb)

Oh you gave me so much power. I have too much power. I had to write this ASAP before Friday, I did not want the idea I had to be tempered by what happens in the finale. Since this is supposed to be set a couple weeks after what could possibly happen. Spoilers if you haven’t read the summary for S2E10.

This may not be in your Possession AU, but it takes a little inspiration from it because I love it!

Warning: vaguely described injuries, blood. Reminder that I think Macaque can be severely hurt but is immortal to the point he can heal any injury.

Am I scaring you?

“Hey- don’t scream it’s just me- You guys seen MK around?”

Despite Macaque’s request, Pigsy and Tang continued to scream. It wasn’t surprising, really. It wasn’t every day that an enemy your friend/person you see as a son just revealed to you a couple weeks earlier had attacked him twice in ways that had left him pretty messed up and questioning his choices and abilities just pops their body from the shoulders up out of the shadows on your wall without warning. Doubly so when very shortly after learning all this that person does a heel face turn and joins your side without technically joining it against everyone’s will and is still kind of an asshole.

The immortal monkey needed to work on that last bit. Maybe he could upgrade from “asshole” to “jerk face” in the eyes of Team MK if he brought drinks. He didn’t really care though, he just wanted to make his own life easier. At least Wukong had been... somewhat open to letting him stick around, given MK convinced them to talk when they were too exhausted after the giant mech battle to actually fight each other, and that made their joint training sessions with MK much easier. That still took getting used to.

"Has MK been acting... off to you lately?" Macaque asked after Tang and Pigsy stopped screaming and levied him with unhappy glowers at the intrusion. One more note to add on the ‘things he should probably stop doing if people want to not hate him’ list, announcing himself better. "I know I'm kinda knew to this whole ‘technically not being a bad guy and caring a bit about other people’ thing and all but he seems..."

‘Not being a bad guy’. Nailed it.

"Dead inside?" Tang deadpanned. "Yeah, we kinda noticed."

“A little more blunt than I was gonna put it but yeah,” Macaque stepped out of the shadows fully, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly as Pigsy grabbed a wooden spoon and held it. A warning that he would not hesitate to chuck it at him at the first excuse he needed. “He’s been acting odd around both me and Wukong. Which, you know, given everything that happened I get it, but he hasn’t come to his last three training sessions at all.”

This, unlike everything else he had said, seemed to make the two men pause.

“What do you mean?” Tang asked, pushing his glasses up and looking at him oddly. “He’s been leaving for those on time like normal.”

“Ah, well, you see,” Macaque chose his next few words carefully. Being honest, truly honest without theatrics or planning in advance to help him, was a new undertaking for him so he stumbled through it. “The first time it happened Wukong astral projected to him and they talked and he seemed ok enough, like he just needed a break. The next time it happened I kinda... followed him? Just to make sure he was ok, no evil shadow business! He just kinda wandered downtown the entire time, looking like he was lost without being lost. If that makes sense. But yesterday he did the same thing so I did the same thing and I found him just kinda... sitting in front of the entrance to DBK’s old hideout?”

Instead of making the two men more concerned, this seemed to make them both deflate.

“Yeah...” Pigsy said softly, lowering the spoon just a bit. “He’s been doing that. We, uh... we had Mei follow him a couple times on deliveries because he was acting off. He did the sitting thing a few days ago too, just while he was on break or if he finished his deliveries early. He’s been doing that a lot lately, like he wants to get things done fast so he can do whatever he’s doing.”

“But he isn’t even doing anything!” Tang said, gripping his hair with one hand. “It’s like he’s just... sitting? Like he just wants to be alone maybe? Sandy’s been talking to him, trying to help him with the cats and everything, but he thinks he needs to see his therapist instead... I think he’s right.”

Macaque frowned for a second before forcing a wide smile on his face. “I thought so. I think Sandy may have the right idea too, you should talk to him. OK BYE-E!”

Before the two men could react he fell backward into the shadows and dissipated. He had somewhere to be.

Just sitting... no. Macaque was sure of it now as he watched MK sitting in front of the hole that still had not been filled since DBK had left the Flaming Foundry, cloaked in shadow behind littered debris. His conversation with the Monkie Kid’s elders confirmed the immortal’s suspicions.

MK was waiting for something.

And that meant something was deeply wrong.

He hadn’t lied to the duo in the noodle shop, but he hadn’t told them the full truth either. Macaque had been following MK for the last week, already knew about Mei himself, partly out of curiosity at first but also out of Wukong’s own insistence. He was worried for his successor and knew that Macaque could keep a quieter eye on him than he ever could, and Wukong... Wukong and MK, despite their renewed training, were not on the best of terms right then. Not after he learned what the vacation really was, not after he learned that his mentor knew about the White Bone Spirit the entire time. They were still close! Closer than MK was to Macaque when he trained him at least, just. Strained.

Watching his two teachers finally talk for once and work out what actually happened all those centuries ago, showing that Wukong wasn’t just an unflappable hero but a person who made mistakes and had worked to better himself and would continue to do so because he was a person, probably softened that a bit. He was still upset but much less so in the week after the defeat... but this last week it was like all that had been undone too quickly. It started slowly, but after four days it was like they were back to the day he learned the truth but so much worse.

For the last three days MK was so quiet, reserved, completely unlike the loud and excited guy Macaque knew and like he just wanted to be left alone to sit and not interact with anyone. Tang said he was acting like he was “dead inside”.

That... wasn’t an entirely incorrect descriptor. It was like he was hollow and just going about the motions. Or like he had closed off everything inside of himself for some reason.

Wukong was terrified. He’d been talking to MK every day he didn’t come to the island to train via astral projection, and Macaque had just watched another conversation between the two end half an hour earlier. Macaque tried the same thing but didn’t get nearly as far as Wukong had been, and talking to him like this seemed to make him less likely to just up and leave (the few times Wukong had just come to MK instead made it clear how uncomfortable he had been, ending the conversations with a quick jump from the staff before Wukong could convince him to stay, so they decided to go with what made him more comfortable to find out what was happening).

So that was how they operated. Macaque watched MK. Made sure he was at least physically ok. Wukong talked to MK, didn’t force him to come to the island and wouldn’t show up unannounced. But despite them communicating more than they ever had it was like he was telling Wukong less than he ever had before. The one thing they didn’t tell him was what Macaque was doing.

“Am I scaring you?” MK suddenly said, loud enough for only Macaque to hear. His tone was... wrong. “You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are, Six-Ear.”

“What?” Macaque shot up and out of the shadows, eyes wide. MK had never called him that before.

The man before him stood, back to him and headband and coat oddly still in the blowing wind.

And then he jumped.

“MK!” Macaque reacted without thinking, diving down the hole after his Wukong’s student. He knew that he would be just fine, he could handle being thrown into a mountain so he could handle jumping down a giant hole, but the sight was too sudden and horrific for him to remember that at the moment.

Except he wasn’t there. When Macaque landed, the crash of his boots hitting the rocky ground echoing through the artificial cavern, he was alone.

Something was even more deeply wrong than he could have ever imagined.

“MK! Kid! Kiddo!?” He called out, all six of his ears out to catch any hint of movement. “Come on, you told me off for calling you Kiddo just last week, get angry at me so I know you’re ok! Tell me you’re a Monkey Man or something!” Macaque tried to keep his tone light, words lighter with an awkward laugh at the end of his sentences, but it only served to make the sinking feeling in his stomach worse. The opposite effect he wanted to accomplish. “Say something damn it!”

Silence. Everything was... silent. The only thing Macaque could hear was his own breathing, his own heartbeat, the rushing of blood in his ears... but nothing else.

Then a laugh. Low and soft and wrong and Macaque’s eyes widened as he realized his mistake.

He knew that laugh.

He also knew the feeling of the staff. He felt it during their first battle, when MK pulled every ounce of lingering power to defeat him. He felt it during that climactic encounter with Wukong, when his eye was damaged beyond repair.

He felt it now, as it jutted through his stomach without warning. Covered in blood.

Huh... that was kind of new, actually. He hadn’t felt a new sensation like that in so long.

The staff was pulled back and out of him quickly, driving him to his feet as he held the new wound and listened and nearly imperceptible footsteps made their way around him. How had he not heard... no. No he knew now. Now it was obvious what had happened.

Why did his wound burn like that? Why couldn’t he stand? He should be able to move, he wasn’t this weak!

“He beat you,” He groaned out, coughing as he tried to stay upright on his knees. “You should be-”

“Dead?” MK asked, voice his own but tone completely different. The black on his shoes were blue. As Macaque looked up he could see most of the color on his outfit had faded to white with blue accents. His eyes, the only think about him physically to be different, a brilliant blue to match. His headband was gone from around his head, instead used to help slick his hair back and out of his face. “How can you kill what already isn’t alive? No, I just waited in this body until I was able to influence him enough to make him... compliant. Much easier that way, actually.”

Either his vision went fuzzy or the world around them did, MK moving closer at a speed that shouldn’t be possible. His hands were grasping Macaque’s scarf tightly... this felt far too familiar.

“If you had been the dragon girl or anyone else I might have just killed you, you know,” MK’s voice said as he tilted his head to the side, an almost playful smile on his face. “But this is much more fun, and preferable. You can relay the message for me, once the poison I coated the staff in wears off and you heal anyway.”

Macaque was dropped unceremoniously onto his back, letting out an agonized yelp as he hit the ground. MK stomped on his wound, earning another scream.

“By then myself and this body will be long gone,” MK chuckled, stepping over Macaque completely to walk further into the foundry. “I must thank you, you played into my hands so much better than I ever planned on. Getting you all to work together to ‘beat me’ was just far too easy.” He stopped, turning to smirk at the immortal shuddering on the ground.

“I haven’t had a body this powerful in centuries,” the White Bone Spirit said with a laugh before vanishing in a fuzz of his vision and a wisp of cold air.

#monkie kid #lego monkie kid #gen fic #hurt no comfort #warning: described injuries #mk #qi xiaotian #six eared macaque #Pigsy #tang #white bone spirit #lady bone demon #FILLER TAG FILLER TAG FILLER TAG #macaque will live but fuck he is going to be feeling that for a while #warning: impalement

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becausethathappens · 3 years ago

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Will you please write a super angsty fic where Link is freaking out because he thinks the wedding vows he has written aren't good enough and Rhett helps him go over them and make corrections and says they're perfect but also, just says the vows he would say for Link if it was them like it should've been because he's heartbroken and Link can tell but their hands are tied and they don't know what to do so they soldier on without saying a word, but wordlessly communicating lifelong love and misery and everything, maybe comfort as well?

i'm really really sad and i can't shake it off and i really want some good angst and hurt/comfort and i really love you, maura, you're awesome

I don't do unhappy endings, anon. I'm confident you don't either. In fiction or otherwise. So, pardon this if it’s not what you expected.

Please enjoy? This was done a little hastily to share it with you (and I should be writing other things per usual) but I've had a rough week and I want to hopefully make someone smile. (I have way angstier stuff in the drafts and I will be sure to get those out eventually, too.) You’ll feel better soon. 🤞 Thank you! 💞

-———————-

now or forever

4k - Rhett writes Link vows.

If you were my boy, Blue

I’d bathe you in honeys (sp?)

I’d sing write you a love song

I’d shoot you a star**

If you were my boy, Blue

There ain’t nothing in this life I wouldn’t give

From my heart, to my toes, to my fingers, my nose (**)

Whatever it takes just to watch you live

continue to ‘ ’ grow with you like a vine ‘round a rose

If you were my boy, Bue

I wouldn’t want you all for myself

There’s no star bright enough to match your lightin’

In sickness, blue, so certainly while we have health

Hand in hand, no longer fightin’

What’s destiny (**)

You and & me

If you were my boy, Blue

I'd marry you

Thank God for Rhett. Giving him, delivering him, blessing him with Rhett.

Link is in the middle of a spiral (what he’ll later recognize as a panic attack) when Rhett arrives, the eve of his wedding. Bailing him out of this with pen, paper, and a smile.

Link has always been good at improv.

Though Rhett tended to find the words to start. These were his own vows and Link has been putting time to sit and start them off for weeks. Now that he has to, he’s dumbfounded, despite being deeply in love.

Amidst all the planning and chaos, writing his vows was such a given that Link left it as priority sixty-seven on a list of many more.

Unfortunately, even as busy as they’ve been, that list was shredded with the “who gifted what” tracking sheet (both literally, accidentally, and figuratively) back around the bridal shower and it’s been anarchy ever since.

So he thanks God for Rhett, who’s here, to stop another needless disaster from happening.

That same generous God, however, watches him plagued with thoughts of utter devotion at Rhett’s willingness to drop everything on a weeknight and rush over to help Link find his words.

His lyrics, really, is what Link has in mind. Since they used to write songs together and this felt much the same. He’s been floundering all night and now that Rhett’s here, he knows he’ll at least get what he needs done. Even if it’s not all he wants, right now.

That same God seeks judgment on his every decision or flinch against His will, for any reason, to spite him.

For this reason.

He wants to smush Rhett’s face and kiss him. Deeply. He doesn’t.

Even if there were sometime in the past that he could get away with a platonic smooch, now he can’t. He simply could not prevent that from escalating.

So, he merely tightens his grip on the wrinkled scrap paper in his hand and scrunches his eyes.

“Why can’t it be you up there…” Link bemoans, loudly, in his frustration.

Rhett’s eyes widen, in horror, and Link slams his other hand at his mouth, rolling his eyes. “Not like - I mean - why can’t you go say my lines for me. You’re so much better at this kinda thing.”

“Let me read what you’ve got,” Rhett says.

After some review, Rhett sighs, not unkindly and sits down next to Link. “Let’s just talk through what you’re trying to say because, yeah, this reads like liturgy.”

“Ain’t is supposed to? It’s in a chapel!”

“What do you like about her?” Rhett asks, ignoring his nitpicking. “Christy?” Rhett stares at him, waiting, too upset for Link to chastise but clearly wanting to.

“She’s patient,” Link says, reminded by the similar. Rhett folds over the book to an open page and clicks the pen in his hand, writing that down. “A-And she’s kind. Like considerate, ‘specially with babies and little animals. Sh-She does this thing where she immediately drops to their eye-level to make sure they don’t feel unheard or seen. Probably ‘cause she’s always been so tall…”

Rhett’s still writing.

“Then when I’m sick, she forces me to rest. You know I hate that,” Link says, voice rising a little, at the memory. “But you know I need that. You won’t be the last to make me stop and smell the roses or take a break, once in a while.”

“Her hair, write, her hair - the way it looks in the sunshine. Like warm caramel with flecks of gold. She’s a vision, an angel. Especially when she’s wearing all white, like,” Link says, pausing to point to Rhett’s undershirt and pale grey sweats. “Makes blondes look ethereal-like, always has.”

“Oh, and her voice. Sometimes, the way her accent catches, well, you know she don’t like to sing like us, never has, but when she says certain things, asks a question the right way - it’s music. The way it harmonizes with my answer, reminds me of singing, reminds me of us.”

Rhett keeps writing, quiet, and focused.

After a short time, Link can’t stop and wants to crane over to see what he’s come up with. Rhett hands it over after crossing a final “t” somewhere on the page.

“Those’re good, Link, but I think you need to keep closer to what I wrote, leave out the stuff about me.”

“Stuff about you?” Link asks, having spoken in a stream-of-conscious style, Link forgets most of what he even said

Rhett looks away, shakes his head.

Distracted by the desire to read the rest, Link abandons the lingering questions he has about Rhett’s suggestion and response.

“These are great, man, thanks,” Links says, pushing a soft hand into Rhett’s side.

His eyes scan to the bottom where Rhett’s added a few lines about the journey, the marriage, all the ceremonial aspects of the day for him to close with, but then something more.

Something about him.

Rhett catches him catch it and looks further away. “I know Christy pretty well, too, y’know. Y’all are just alike, in that way. She might need some back-up vows, to have and hold.”

Link reads them.

“You know, just in case.”

Link looks up and tries to laugh.

He doesn’t laugh.

He goes back to reading them.

Rhett shifts uncomfortably, touches the back of his neck, and shuts his eyes.

“Rhett, these ’re…”

“I know, bo, you can forget ‘em,” Rhett excuses, still not meeting Link’s gaze. “You want me to… I can rewrite the others on a different - I can turn the page and write ‘em there so you can just…”

“Hey, hey,” Link interrupts him, mad at Rhett putting down his best friend, and eager to explain his actual thoughts. “Rhett, these are perfect. These are… I’m sad I can’t say anything as nice in return to you.”

Rhett finally looks up to acknowledge that and their gaze heats and lingers.

“Not that I…” Link stutters to clarify. “Y-You’d have to be a - if that’s something that was gonna - you know - if that was gonna work…”

His mind does it’s usual jump to a visual for the worst case scenario depicting the implication he stumbled across. Him out eight grand on the wedding. Not to mention a wife, a family, a future, a faith -

a friend -

Link gulps, pushing that back away, pushing them both forward, in his estimation.

It’s too much to bear to think about for another second. When he glances at Rhett, he can’t get a read on his face what he thinks about it, and that’s scary enough for him to want to abandon the concept altogether.

“Christy’s gonna love them.”

It’s enough, saying his fiancée's name, to ground him again. Enough to make it okay for him to grab Rhett’s palm and squeeze it in thanks, between them.

Rhett’s made his choice to give up on film school.

Link’s made his choice to give up on whatever schoolboy obsession he has with monopolizing all of Rhett’s days and nights.

He’ll stick to the days or every other weekend, however they can still fit time together, is fine by him. This ceremony, tomorrow, feels as much about his graduation from friend to husband, and all that that entails.

They’re adults.

They both know there’s a lot of sacrifices to be made and this feels like the first time he’s really acknowledging how hard they’re going to be to make. He hopes they’ll still see each other.

He hopes their kids will get along.

He has a lot of hopes.

All of them involve Rhett.

There’s a lot he should write down for when Rhett finds his own bride to wed.

Link notices, suddenly, that Rhett is crying. The same part of him that's nearly broken the headwind of these conflicting emotions turns back to comfort him.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Link soothes, realizing he’s also still holding Rhett’s hand.

“‘M sorry,” Rhett intones, the words bubble up and out of him simultaneously, sounding like water draining in a filled sink. “And the night before your wedding, good Heavens.”

“Hey, I’ve been crying all week,” Link says, waving a hand at the stress that planning a wedding has kept put on him. “Nothing I haven’t seen in the mirror.”

Rhett laughs, rubbing a thumb over his own thigh in a way that brushes upwards against the place Link’s clasping his hand. Link nearly pulls his hand back, thinking Rhett’s trying to get him to sense his want for space, but when he meets his eye it’s clear he’d like nothing less.

“I think I’m just -” Rhett starts to say, trailing off. The light from the lamp on the far coffee table is the only thing on in the room. Link drops his gaze a few inches to try and see more of Rhett’s downturned eyes as he hems and haws. He squeezes their hands together, again, this time clasping it more firmly, still pressing Rhett’s large palm down from above. “I think I’m just a li’l jealous, is all.”

It’s the quietest admission he’s heard from Rhett since he told him he failed their chemistry mid-term in eleventh grade.

Link is also so lost at the innocence of the admission that he can only think of follow-up questions. “Of me?”

Rhett looks at him for a long, long minute and finally, when Link’s gaze remains confused for the whole length of the pause, he shakes his head, no.

Then he waits.

He waits for Link to realize what he means.

But he’s still waiting when Link, oblivious, moves onward trying to comfort Rhett, instead of understanding him fully.

The tension in the room is palpable as Link talks, but only to Rhett, it seems. Only Rhett pictures air bags being deployed in a car safety video as metal hits cinder block. Only Rhett moves his hand, though it’s all it takes to dislodge them from each other completely.

“I know you’re gonna make an amazing husband some day.” Link is saying.

Rhett’s hand aches where cool air now surrounds it.

“I know your wife is gonna get to hear you say such wonderful things about her.”

Rhett wipes his hand of the misunderstanding on the cotton of his pants.

“I know she’s gonna say the same kind of things about you, when it’s your turn up there.”

Rhett mourns the idea that this would ever be requited.

“I know she’s gonna love you, just as much as I do, so she’ll have plenty to say.”

Rhett looks away, wiping the last of his tears from his eyes.

“I’ll make sure she has plenty of ideas where to start.”

Rhett pats Link’s leg, in camaraderie, and nods.

And that’s it. They shoot the shit, they make a plan to meet up at a donut place for the groomsmen’s breakfast to thank them for their help, before the ceremony, and they’ll talk things through if Link’s feeling jittery still. Then Rhett’s gone.

It’s not until the next day at eleven on the dot (everyone has an agenda to follow and every moment is accounted for) that Link understands Rhett’s pain.

His mother straightens his tie and flattens the edges of his suit. “You’ll wanna know I heard Christy looks like an angel in her dress, from the girls upstairs.”

“Those actual angels you been talkin’ to, Sue?” Rhett jokes, where he’s twisting his cummerbund around every so often, bored.

“Very funny, honey,” Sue ribs back. “From the cousins, Beth and Hailee Sue. Remember they’re friends with the hairstylist you got to do the curls for Christy’s hair, today? She was over last night getting Christy ready for bed with how to wash and dry it a special kind of way. They were there, too.”

Link starts to tune her out, since there’s a lot on his mind, but then she says more.

“She says the hairstylist was talking about how jealous she was of Christy, all night, getting to marry you,” Sue relays.

“Oh, mama, please,” Link dismisses. The compliments he’s been getting have felt faker than the toupee on his uncle Bruce. That girl has never even met him. “I’m the only person here people should be jealous of, who would be jealous of Christy,” he says, trailing off, muttering his reasoning as he did. “Marrying a trainwreck like me.”

Link looks up in the mirror where some of his friends continue to mingle in various states of undress. Rhett is already dressed, however, and staring straight at Link like he’s been caught with a hand in a cookie jar.

Link’s about to ask what’s wrong when he remembers his words. Then looks again over the planes of Rhett’s face.

Last night’s words slam back into his mind and Link’s mouth drops open.

The church organ belts out an opening flurry of notes before Canon in D begins playing loudly through the sound system built into the rafters above them. Link looks up to see one of the church staff at the door instructing them to join the bridal party to line-up.

Link’s mom dashes off to where she’s paired with her nephew, Link’s favorite cousin, to be escorted down the aisle.

Rhett sees Link’s face rushing through a wash of emotions from a distance, he nods to the staffer in silent understanding that he’ll handle it, and then they’re alone.

He walks up to Link and takes his hand. He squeezes it.

“Hey, you gotta go. We gotta go. It’s showtime,” Rhett insists.

Link looks around like a bomb went off, since in some ways it did, and he doesn’t know what to do.

Rhett seems to pick up on that. He squeezes Link’s hand again.

“I’ll get over it, Link, it’s okay,” Rhett whispers, on the verge of desperation.

That confirmation is enough to fully shatter Link.

Only for a moment.

The music continues and Rhett keeps his hand hold.

They are adults. They are in love. They have to marry.

None of these things can be helped.

“I’m gonna be so jealous of Her, too,” Link whispers back. He squeezes Rhett’s hand one last time, as they part.

They leave.

They walk straight.

They part again.

Until later.

They move houses and cities and states.

They move mountains, inside and out.

They move together.

Much later.

They join again.

They run crooked.

They return.

To one another.

Link has spent years worrying a ring that means too much to too few people.

In the beginning, when he cries himself to sleep at what he thinks has been the mistake of a lifetime, it’s His talisman. It reminds him of the expectations upon this life he’s made.

As the years pass, however, the adherence to the bogeymen of their childhood’s rules wears thin. It starts to strictly represent love and patience.

Sacrifice.

It begins to feel like a burden. A representation of what’s been lost, not what’s been found.

He contemplates taking it off, but believes that to be a betrayal of all that it stands for to the people he stands for.

Then, one day, (surely mid-spin) he hears Rhett tell a story about wanting to change his ring.

He watches the silver twirl as Rhett explains.

He believes he was rushed into a certain type of marriage and a certain type of life by a certain type of person.

It’s a life that he’s grown to love but the ring represents a union forced by custom and not one that’s grown through devotion.

His ring reminds him of that too often to be good for him.

Link twists his again at the admission.

So, Rhett’s thinking about replacing the ring.

Link returns home that night in a stupor. He’s sure he said one too many things to Rhett to emphasize how wild it felt to hear him talk about changing rings.

Any memories of that day, their wedding, bring up a rush of emotions that he’s never been good at sorting through.

Today’s admission makes him feel the same spur to make use of idle, betrothed hands he feels when he cleans the fridge.

He wants to clean the slate.

He finds an old DVD copy of their wedding ceremony that he paid to have converted from miniDV some years ago. Now he struggles to find a place to watch that DVD. How quickly time has flown by.

Eventually, he ends up in his son’s room - no one’s home for the remainder of the night but he and Christy - now, he’s sitting on a bean bag, squinting at the game console’s controller trying to get the joysticks to move to “play” on screen.

The ceremony bursts to life and, like it was yesterday, Link’s nerves fizzle awake.

About halfway through the video, Christy finds him like that and sits down next to him in a thwump absorbed mostly by the stuffing of the chair.

They watch themselves smile happily at each other and Christy takes his hand.

“Should I be happy or scared to find you alone watching this on a Saturday night?” she asks, wryly, squeezing his palm.

Link doesn’t know what to say. He’s caught up in Rhett’s bygone script being spoken on screen. Words about Christy and about Link that were not their own, declared loudly in front of the congregation.

“I don’t know,” Link admits, shrugging. He doesn’t. He squeezes her hand back.

“You wanna tell me what’s eating you?”

Link hesitates, but relents. He wants that clean slate, after all. “Rhett’s getting his wedding ring replaced.”

“Replaced?” Christy asks, balking.

“Replaced, yeah,” Link responds, sure he didn’t misspeak.

“With what?” she asks.

“Oh, some new one. Fancy thing, very cool, made of trees or something. Honestly he wears the other one, the slick black one more than his wedding band half the time. He says it feels like the old one? It’s the kind of ring you get in a bauble at a vending machine crank. So, he wants a new one.”

“Jeesh,” Christy says, making a face at the screen. The camera catches Rhett stealing glances at the couple, then at the crowd, beaming at all with unbridled pride.

“Wouldn’t you be mad if I did that?” Link inquires, still baffled at the idea.

“Well, no, but don’t you love your ring? Heirloom and all that,” she says.

Link cringes. “Yeah, yeah. Honestly, I do.”

“So?”

“So, I still kind of want to and I’m not sure what that means.”

They watch the screen together.

“Do you wanna stay married?” she asks, in a small voice.

“Yes,” he breathes out.

There’s a long pause.

“To me?” she asks, her voice even smaller.

“Yes,” he breathes in.

She squeezes his hand, her confidence built back up. She begs him to join her.

“And him?” Christy whispers.

They both look the screen, the lens centered on the two of them, but their gaze is mutually torn to where Rhett stands wiping a tear from his eye at Christy reciting the last of the vows that he wrote her. Wrote him. Wrote them both.

She squeezes his hand again.

“Yes,” he breathes out.

She leans her head on his shoulder.

“You should probably get another ring, then,” she jests. “We shouldn’t have to share everything.”

The slate is clean.

There’s a lot he wants to say to Rhett about it, but just as before, he’s relied on Rhett to give him the right words to say. So, instead of words, he starts wearing Rhett’s ring.

Then, a new one, when he realizes he can match him separate from the other, all told. Have something of Rhett’s, all to himself.

In his unspoken push towards something more, their hands now match along with their steps, as they walk forward.

On the last week in July, they get ice cream at the fifth place that month to mistake them for husbands, but the first one he hears Link crow an affirmative in response.

Rhett waits for him while he triple-tips the cashier (for the guess) and pays for their cones.

“Bad joke,” Rhett says, softly, but firm.

“Who’s kidding?” Link parries back, a smirk dancing it’s way across his lips.

Rhett watches him with a wistful look of disbelief.

“Link, we’re married,” Rhett warns him.

Link shrugs. “I know. I’m just waiting for you to figure that out and minding my ice cream here, all right?”

He’s got a mouthful of vanilla bean and extra cookie crumble, the next second, so his vow ends there.

Later, at home, Rhett startles Jessie awake when he fully realizes Link’s words.

He shakes her awake. He shakes them both awake.

“I’m in love with Link,” he says, like it’s a confession.

She kisses him because so is she. So are most people.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

Rhett repeats himself.

So does she.

They stare at each other under the cover of silk and moonlight.

“We’re married,” Rhett whispers, touching his hand to hers. Their rings clink, new and shiny.

“Yeah, and so are we,” she whispers back.

They fall asleep smiling.

The next day, Rhett sneaks up behind Link while he’s working and causes him to spill his cup of coffee. He gets the stink eye for only a minute because it’s the same length of time he can stand Link’s grumpy mug before he has to swoop down and kiss him on the lips.

“You figured it out,” Link says, grinning.

“I did,” Rhett chirps as he kisses Link more.

They take a car to their house. It’s filled with their love and the history of it; before, during, and after.

“What’s this?” Link asks, dazed in their post-sex glow, naked and alive.

He spots an old chord book of theirs from last time they wrote music.

“Oh,” Rhett says, bashful. “I came looking for you here this morning, hoping you slept over again, but, uh,” Rhett stalls, looks away and tries to take the songbook from Link’s hand. Link pulls it far enough he can’t reach. “You were already at the job.”

“And?” Link asks, using his spry, sinewy body as an advantage to slink away from the bed out of Rhett’s grip. He still has the book in hand.

“Those are your vows,” Rhett explains.

Link looks down and squints, confused. These aren’t the vows that Christy read at their wedding. He’s seen that video only a few months back and is sure of it.

“Our vows,” Rhett whispers, explaining further, at Link’s puzzled look.

“It’s a love song,” Link notes, marveling at the gesture. What it means to a young version of himself that once felt like they had surely cut out and mourned the possibility of this - all of this - ever happening. To have that thought coexist with the image of a nude, hulking tree trunk of a husband laid before him smiling up adoringly felt panoptic.

“So are you.”

Link begins to cry.

“Play it for me.”

Rhett wipes his cheek.

“Get my guitar.”

They sing twice more that night, always in harmony (not always in lyric), then spend the rest of their lives together doing much the same.

#things i wrote #@anon #i hope you are doing well soon #💙#rhink

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