#but every time atsushi has a question kunikida always helps I’m through it

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

Hc that eventually Atsushi asks Kunikida and Tanizaki about possibly going to school. He knows he didn’t get the best of education in the orphanage but he loves to read and wants to do a little bit more with his life than just the agency. So they pull some strings and help get him set up. Maybe some summer classes to get him where he needs to be, but then in the fall he’s like Naomi and Junichiro and moves to part time at the agency while taking actual classes. I think he’d like that.

[along-came-atsushi]

The way Dazai protects Atsushi

When we imagine someone who is protective, mostly it is a person who bursts into a fit of rage or someone who heroically and willingly throws away their own life if it means to protect others. A good example for this would be Kunikida’s actions on several occasions. Dazai is less a person to obviously show rage or to heroically throw himself in front of someone.

Which doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care at all, it’s quite the contrary. And it’s sometimes very subtle and tricky, because he always has plans within plans and tries to achieve several goals with a single plan.

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I will only focus here on Dazai’s actions that solely have to do with Atsushi. I’m not going to bring up every single hidden agenda or goal Dazai is also trying to achieve.

In addition, this post has been tagged as #Dazatsu just to be safe. But of course it can be read from a platonic POV.

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Beware: Spoilers starting from chapter 83 and for 55 Minutes!

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How Dazai gets Atsushi into the ADA

Dazai practically tricked and then it may seem like he pressured Atsushi into joining the ADA, even after Atsushi already said that he doesn’t want to join:

The reason for Atsushi’s refusal was not that he didn’t want to join, because he just simply didn’t want to join. But because he lacks the self-confidence in taking a task like this. He doesn’t believe in himself and his abilities and thinks he isn’t fit for the job. This lack of self-confidence together with the fact that Atsushi constantly gets pushed by either people around him or his circumstances to keep relying on himself rather than others runs like a red string through his story.

Dazai on the other hand sees a great potential in Atsushi. In the moment where Atsushi saved him from drowning, he already planned to team him up with Akutagawa. Not only because of their abilities and their compatibility in battle. But because Atsushi would be the person to “teach Akutagawa how to put that sword away”. In other words: to value life. Which is something that Dazai wasn’t able to teach Akutagawa (I covered this in another meta and won’t explain it here any further).

Another reason is that the things Dazai states above are simply the truth: If Atsushi doesn’t join, then there is nothing the ADA can do to help him (or it would be much harder and complicated for them). He needs to do everything a normal adult in society has to do, which is harder for Atsushi than other people, since he has been abruptly kicked out of his orphanage without any further help or assistance. Not to mention that he is perceived as a monster and not in control of his own ability, and therefore a wanted criminal and dangerous ability user. This could lead Atsushi in either getting killed or falling into the hands of other shady organizations who have far worse intentions for him. Saying the above is less Dazai trying to manipulate Atsushi and more him just telling what would happen and to be realistic.

Having Atsushi join the ADA for Dazai does not only help Atsushi to live a safer life and make it easier for Dazai to keep an eye out for him, but also to give Atsushi the chance to safe other people in the progress.

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The Entrance Exam

Since Atsushi refused there was no way for Dazai to have him join the ADA the easy way and then only later testing if he really was worthy of being a true member. Just like it has been the case with Dazai’s entrance exam (Dazai freely joined the ADA after being recommended and was perceived as a new member immediately. Only during his first case with Kunikida was he secretly being tested of being worthy, which he succeeded). Therefore, a plan under a pretext was needed in order to test Atsushi and convince him to join.

During the ADA’s meeting for planning Atsushi’s entrance exam (which is told in the first part of the ‘Untold Story of the ADA’ novel) Dazai anticipated that Atsushi would either convince the bomber (played by Tanizaki) or somehow defuse the bomb himself. Neither of his predictions happened, instead Atsushi was willing to sacrifice himself so that he could protect others. This selfless action honestly surprised Dazai, which not many people are able to achieve, because he always predicts their actions:

Since it’s been hinted by Dazai that he already lost other people close to him in his life, even before Ango’s betrayal and Odasaku’s death, Atsushi’s action probably could’ve served as a trigger for him. He had to realize that there is a possibility that Atsushi would sacrifice himself to protect others. Especially since he doesn’t deem his own life as worthy and has been told many times to be useless and to “just die in a ditch somewhere.”

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“Stalking” Higuchi

Dazai immediately recognized Higuchi to be a PM member and that she’s contacting the ADA under disguise for ulterior motives. The scene with Higuchi is a good example that Dazai does many things which either annoys other people (flirting with her) or are seen as him just being lazy and/or fooling around (listening to music and singing), while in reality he is already following a hidden plan.

Flirting with Higuchi distracts her and everyone else from Dazai slipping a wiretap in her jacket. It helps him to let everyone just act naturally without the possibility of revealing anything by accident. Furthermore, it makes people underestimate Dazai, because for everyone else he was just fooling around.

Due to the reason that the PM contacted the ADA under disguise as soon as Atsushi was their new member could have been already suspicious for Dazai, suspecting that it has something to do with Atsushi and was not just a regular attack on the ADA. Later on, this gets confirmed when it’s been stated that The Guild set a bounty on Atsushi for some reason.

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Is Dazai following Atsushi around?

When Atsushi accompanies Ranpo on his murder case Dazai surprisingly shows up:

This meeting could be just a coincidence, of course. After all it’s just Dazai fooling around again (or in this case, trying to commit suicide again). But since the case with Higuchi has shown that Dazai loves to pretend to do something else, when he in reality is following a hidden agenda, it might be that he showed up there on purpose. Maybe just to see how Atsushi was faring and to eventually intervene if something serious would happen (like he did when Atsushi and Akutagawa were fighting for the first time). Especially with the PM on Atsushi’s tail now.

In chapter 84 it has been revealed that Dazai indeed does have an eye on Atsushi. When he can’t do that himself anymore, he makes sure to ask Akutagawa to keep an eye on him instead:

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Going far for Atsushi’s sake

After getting to know about the bounty, Dazai lets himself get captured by the PM on purpose, without informing any other ADA members, and stays inside the prison until seemingly a right time draws near. He is willing to do this, even though he knows full well that he is perceived as a traitor and that certain people will not welcome him with open arms.

When Chuuya mentions that he suspects that Dazai must be here for a certain reason, Dazai then states that he does all of this mostly for Atsushi. He even goes so far as to provoke a second punch in the face from Akutagawa, by belittling him in saying that Atsushi is a better subordinate than him, after Akutagawa threatens to kill Atsushi.

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Probably the most visible scene where Dazai openly shows anger and shock towards someone hurting Atsushi (or hurting someone he cares about in general) is during the incident with Q:

He doesn’t act like this again the second time when Atsushi brings him the doll to nullify Q’s ability, even though the whole city is in chaos. He’s also less concerned about Naomi and Haruno in that moment and more focused on Atsushi during this. Which doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care at all for others, knowing that Naomi and Haruno are able to handle their situation (which is confirmed by them later). But it also shows that Atsushi is his main priority.

Throughout the story Atsushi slowly notices this himself. At first he is hesitant to believe that he is Dazai’s “most trusted subordinate” and worries that Dazai might be mad with him should he go overboard with something (e.g. during 55 Minutes when he was able to surprise Dazai who was hiding in the trash can).

He only ever claims to have Dazai’s trust, if it means to provoke Akutagawa (which he does for a different reason, but I’m not going to expand on this here). Later, he even wonders how Dazai would react/look if Akutagawa came back with the news of him having died: 

Which means that Atsushi’s former mentality of people not caring should he die gets replaced by having someone actually be mad/sad about this.

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Hiding his “dark side”

It may not be that visible in the anime, since some scenes are either left out or interpreted for the sake of jokes. But the manga makes it clear that Dazai struggles with guilt because of his own past (e.g. when Atsushi asks the other ADA members what they’ve done before joining the ADA, aside from everyone else Dazai looks away. This suggests that this question and the closely related memories of it are uncomfortable for him. Another example is his reaction when he asks Kyouka how many people she has killed).

Dazai is well aware that he can’t hide his past from Atsushi forever and that he sooner or later will find out. This is then almost immediately revealed to him by Akutagawa.

However Dazai still tries to hide his “dark side” from Atsushi. Apparently, he doesn’t want him to see that he’s capable of being cruel or that Atsushi may become too aware of anything that could reveal more of Dazai’s past and the things he has done. During certain situations Dazai purposefully doesn’t let Atsushi go or stay with him:

1.) When he pushed Atsushi out of the room to “interrogate” Kouyou:

2.) When he pretended to need to use the bathroom, because he knew they were being followed:

3.) When he meets Ango:

(Even Kouyou comments on how Dazai lets Atsushi out of certain business.)

The reasons for this may be that he’s afraid to reveal this “dark side” of him to Atsushi and that he doesn’t want to drag him into the business of the underworld. It could also be that he’s afraid that Atsushi might see him in a different light and that he’ll turn deprecating towards him. As of now Atsushi doesn’t know the full extent of Dazai’s past and actions. But due the fact that he’s aware that Dazai was a former PM member (an executive even), he must also be aware that some answers will be frightening. Furthermore, he must also already have some ideas about Dazai’s past.

Throughout the story Atsushi has been shown to be sympathetic with different characters, trying to understand their actions or the reason that drives them. Even when these characters fought against or tried to kill him in the past (Kyouka, Lucy, Akutagawa, Fitzgerald, Sigma). Therefore, I doubt that Atsushi will see Dazai in a different/negative light, should his past be fully revealed. But this is something Dazai may not anticipate, since he doesn’t see himself as a good person and as someone worthy of redemption.

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Dazai believes in Atsushi

Dazai has an overwhelming believe in Atsushi and his abilities. He reassures and compliments him from the very beginning:

“Nice, Atsushi. You’re like a real detective already! It’s such a joy to see you grow up so fast!” [After being send back in time] “Ha-ha-ha! I never thought you’d be able to scare me like that! You’ve grown Atsushi!” – 55 Minutes

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“Oooh!” Dazai squealed in excitement. “Look at you, Atsushi! Impressive!” – 55 Minutes

Contrary to Atsushi, who struggles to acknowledge his own self-worth and has little to no faith in his own abilities.

This is the reason why Dazai sometimes pushes Atsushi (not only literally but also figuratively) to do things on his own, whenever he realizes that Atsushi is hesitating. He’s throwing him in at the deep, in order for Atsushi to learn more self-confidence:

He sends him on several missions alone (e.g. sneaking into the Moby Dick) or with other people (e.g. Akutagawa), because he knows that Atsushi is able to do this, even without him:

“[…] It’s up to you to prove the detective agency’s innocence and set us free. You can do it, right?” Atsushi knew – Dazai only asked people if they could do it when he was certain they could. – 55 Minutes

Atsushi’s actions get firmly planned into Dazai’s predictions, knowing that he will choose the right decision:

This great believe in Atsushi gets also noticed by other people (e.g. Mark Twain and Akutagawa):

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In return

Dazai’s positive influence on Atsushi also has a positive effect on his psyche: The headmaster’s voice and image inside his mind – the person who always drags him down, tells him to be useless and that he will “not make it” – slowly gets replaced by Dazai’s voice and image – the person who cheers him up and tells him to believe in himself:

It’s no doubt that Dazai was the person who helped Atsushi to live a better life and he is perceived as “the man who saved me” by Atsushi himself. For this reason and his self-confidence Atsushi admires Dazai and is grateful to him.

But on the other hand, Atsushi was also willing to save Dazai despite his dire situation. Not only does Atsushi put Dazai on a pedestal, it is also Dazai who puts Atsushi on a pedestal and who sees him as the person able to help, protect and maybe even change others.

[shozaii]

can u pls gib me kunikida and dazai fluff hcs? i love them sm

(a/n):hello anon! why, of course hehe🥰thank you so much for the request!

@amourzai my cielo helped me with this fic ilysm☁🌹

masterlist 

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fluffy hc’s 

pairings: dazai x reader, kunikida x reader

warnings: none!

dazai osamu

despite being the chaotic person that he is, dazai tends to turn into the mushy soft puddle when he’s with you. swoons around you, always shows you his best side, brags about him being better than chuuya, basically what you see him do to atsushi, but it’s ten times more emphasized and complex.😌

when he wants to confess his feelings, he does it in a quiet, peaceful place. namely, while watching the yokohama sunset. may or may not have found time to walk back home alone with you, held your hand and locked his arm around yours. “i need to show you something special, love~.”

feelings to him is something so cherished, so sophisticated and important. as a person who has gone through a series of emotions; he prefers to let them out in private.

even kneels down and asks, “would you be mine, mon cheri?” while rubbing little circles on the back of your hand.

when dazai confesses, his eyes would look directly into yours. if anything were to bother him; consider his other side to be seen. and we all know we don’t want that to happen.

i don’t know why but i always imagine dazai’s hands to be soft and delicate, and lovely to hold. (yes, i have seen too many gifs of them and i am in love) anything he does with his hands are just so attractive.

blows kisses when he’s like across you. so it becomes a series of sending each other kisses when you’re like one metre apart....and when he really does miss it, he gets up from his seat, leans over and pecks your lips real quick.

height difference is pretty obvious between him and his s/o(unless you’re super tall :0). if you were shorter, consider the t e a s i n g 24/7. if you were nearly as tall/taller than him, the floor is all yours🥴

lowkey wish i was taller rn

okay but real talk - he loves carrying you bridal style. a lot. and here’s the thing, it happens at random timing. for instance, when you’re working on your latest paperwork. during a mission (just to boast how strong he is). very unpredictable but so adorable, you can’t help but blush harder.

“osamu! put me down or else....!”

“or else what, my honey bunch?”

“you’re not getting kisses for a week.”

mans sets you down with raptor speed. unless if he’s in a flirty mood, you would see yourself winning.

yes, he loves seeing you flustered. i feel like you can do so as well - but i headcanon him winning everytime. how do you win this...? maybe kiss him when he least expects it. do it.

cute pet names like belladonna, my love, mon cheri, any new language he learns, he uses them. and if he almost forgets them(because he collects so much), he writes them down on a sticky note, and sticks it on his desk. when he goes back to the dorms, he sticks it on the wall or some place he could remember.

dates with dazai are either during work hours, or the after hours of yokohama. and he makes sure you’re going to have the time of your life on every single date; so he plans a new activity on every one of them.

when he doesn’t have the chance to do so, he pouts. but when it has been replaced with a job given by the president/kunikida, there you go. a date and mission in your hands.

he gets this rush of energy when he realizes that what was supposed to be a relaxing date out just got a whole lot better with the mission.

dazai gives kisses anywhere he likes. nose, lips, cheeks, jawline, the list goes on. he even knows where you prefer him to do so. i’m surprised that he still isn’t a psychic.

double suicide? he would never think of it. all his life, he wants to find a reason to live. he does get his reasons - one of them is you. your tears to him are anguish and heartbreak at its worst. cue you crying while telling him to stay by your side. 

“please...never leave my side,” you sobbed as you buried your face in his chest. “if i can stay alive in this place we call earth for as long as possible, then so can you.”

that moved him so much. a whole lot. “oh, belladonna. don’t you ever think i’m going away.”

silence.

“not without you.”

you punched him, and he couldn’t stop laughing. but he’d stop, giving you an unlimited amount of kisses.

b a b y. dazai is babie.

kunikida doppo

oh my god we have baby number 2.

in his eyes, you were the definition of perfection. he even tries to remember exactly when did he catch feelings for you. it was totally unexpected, according to him.

cue almost all of the members of ada teasing him all the time about him finally finding his ‘ideal’ partner.

but to him, it wasn’t the ideal that mattered anymore. you outmatched almost everything he wrote down. and man, was he the happiest person alive.

how does he confess...? well wonderful question. he didn’t plan it. the members did.

maybe yosano-san called you and told you about another ‘crucial case’ a few blocks away from your completed one and ‘since you were out there, you were perfect for it.’ you agreed because why not?

meanwhile, dazai probably said, ‘this case involves yet another series of men wearing glasses - you and me must go out to end this person.’

of course kunikida goes ??? ‘where are the evidences/pictures???” but dazai brushes it off saying ‘ah~ i left them somewhere.’ to which,,,well you already know. they went out and not even a minute after, the bandaged man goes missing. with the intercom, he leads him to - you guessed it - the exact same place you were in.

‘kunikida! you’re here for the non-existent case too...?”

‘non-existent? OHMYGODDAZAI-’

the line was cut off, and he goes on and on about him, until;

‘i can never be the same when i’m with someone i obliviously like-,’

he’s a huge mess when he’s around you, trust me. so him blabbering that out loud is completely normal.

butterflies in your stomach because you’re so in love with him.

‘i don’t know if this is the right time, but our friends probably did this for us. so i hope you’d be okay if i said my feelings are mutual?”

kunikida is alright with just a little pda, maybe some hand-holding and little ruffles on your hair because he secretly loves how floofy it is🥺when it comes to kissing, the furthest he would go is on your head. nothing more, nothing less.

he needs to maintain his composure *cough* but my mans right here couldn’t, you’re just too perfect.

so when you’re two alone, expect lots and lots of wholesome kisses around your face; and also loads of cuddles. this side of kunikida is what i headcanon today, folks. the ‘soft for you’ side. he lovesss it when he kisses your forehead, he finds it so cute.

p l e a s e kiss him on the cheek, kunikida would be all over the place.

if you go somewhere on a mission with someone else, he would be on his feet. he gets so worried, thinking of what might happen. don’t get me wrong, he trusts you in your job so much; he just doesn’t want you to get hurt.

so when you do return, he’s the first one at the door.

checks if you’ve eaten, if you’ve drank enough water, if you’ve gotten enough sleep. if you’ve not he’s just going to pull you to bed, holding you tight and lulling you to sleep.

during work hours, you walk over to him, wrapping your arms. 

‘y/n....we only do this after work.’

‘so you don’t want my hugs then?’

stays silent and just lets you stay there for as long as you want. he will tolerate you and you only.

kunikida loves you a lot. sometimes he might not show it, but just know that the love he has for you is drastic it tears you up. 

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(a/n): i am s o r r y this took so long! ahh i’ve had so much to do and i really do hope this was worth it!

[chuuyasnumber1simp]

Toxic- Dazai x GN! Reader

warnings: mentions of suicide, aftermath of attempted suicide, depictions of violence and torture, kidnapping, brief mentions of self harm, Dazai being toxic and borderline emotionally abusive but he has a reason, he’s a little emotionally stunted, general angst, a good ending but you have to work for it

word count: 4213

Dazai hated this time of year.

Summer was a season he oh so despised, sick of the uncomfortably hot weather that prompted people to ask why he was wearing so many layers in July.

He was sick of the pitied glances and confused faces as he strolled around Yokohama, adorning his usual trench coat and bandages.

But the one thing that made this season more bearable, was watching your face as you enjoyed all the summer activities. He couldn’t quite pin point when he started falling for you, but he did know it was around the same time he started pretending not to hate summer.

Dazai was a man of mystery, and preferred to stay that way (though deep down he wanted someone he could bare his soul with, but alas they always scurried away when he revealed the shattered pieces of his heart) yet you persisted in trying to crack him open, trying to see the real person behind the acting.

Yes, much to Dazai’s surprise, you figured out his profound talent for acting just weeks into your job at the ADA, and since attempted to see his real personality. Unfortunately, Dazai was always acting, even when he was not. Most of his life he has devoted to perfecting that act, his role, and not one single person has seen through all of the acting, all of the masks he wears. Everyday he wakes up, he climbs his tired and battered body upon that stage, and begins his act again. He has done this as long as he’s known, and he has no reason or desire to stop.

  That is, until he met you.

Despite you only being able to see through his outermost mask, you’ve always understood him better than most people. Maybe that’s what drew him to you in the first place, the way you seemed at ease in his presence, seemingly ignoring his past and even present actions. He was enamored by your personality, and soon he too felt happier when you were around. He took this into account when you approached him after work, nervously ringing your hands together, refusing to meet his eyes.

Taking a deep breath, you slightly stuttered the words he didn’t realize he wanted to hear so badly.

“Will y-you go out with me? I know you don’t really do dates, with the whole double suicide thing, and if you don’t feel the same about me that’s fine, I just really like being around you and your hot so I was just wondering—“

He silenced you by planting a soft kiss against your lips, hoping it conveyed what he hoped.

“Does that answer your question?”

The months after that were happy, a white spot on his relatively bleak life. You brightened his day when you entered the room, and he loved the way your eyes crinkled when you laughed.

Yet, he still could not find a reason to stop the attempts to end his own life.

He loved you, god he was sure of it by this point, but when he stripped of his bandages and held a razor to his wrist, your face did not flash in his mind.

When he leaned over the edge of a bridge, your smile did not make him hesitate, though he wished it did.

He was angry, angry at himself for not loving you enough, and angry at you, in some twisted way, for not being enough.

Dazai was confused, confused about why he was angry at you, and confused about why you weren’t enough of a reason to stop himself every time he tried to commit suicide.

For once, Dazai Osamu had a problem.

and he had absolutely no idea how to fix it.

...............................................................................................

This was really annoying situation.

This was your third hostage situation in a month, and honestly you were getting sick of it. You really didn’t know how you kept getting in these situations, although it wasn’t all that surprising considering your line of work.

Your coworkers -yourself included- often found themselves in situations not unlike this one, though theirs, especially poor Atsushi’s, were usually more severe.

Another day, another migraine.

This time, you were slightly afraid, just because the men here this time were more serious. The way they conducted this situation was less like a robbery plus hostages, and more like a search.

Like they were looking for someone.

This part concerned you, because who exactly could they be looking for? This was just a simple grocery store, and you doubted they received enough money to warrant the type of people these men were. Petty thieves? sure. Gang members that possessed impressive weapons? It was unusual to say the least.

Currently, they had you all lined up against the wall of the vegetable section, hands zip tied behind your back. Your unusual ability -dream manipulation- would not help you here. In fact, it usually help you at all, but you weren’t concerned about that right now.

You were concerned about why these men were asking every persons name, and what they would do once they got to you.

One of the men, tall and imposing, sporting all black and a ski mask, plus military grade boots stopped in front of you.

“Name,”

You swallowed thickly. “Why do you need that?”

No sooner had the words life your mouth did you feel the boot connect with your abdomen- and not in a nice way. You coughed harshly, a little blood dribbling out of the corner of your mouth.

“Name,”

You spit the blood onto his boot, Dazai’s defiant personality must have rubbed off on you a bit.

“I’m not giving it until you tell me why,”

You weren’t stupid- you worked at the Armed Detective Agency, and people like this don’t ask for names unless their lookin for someone, usually someone who’s ‘wronged’ them. Being in the ADA had given you a lot of friends, but also a lot of enemy’s. Being the s/o of a former mafia executive didn’t really help either.

This time, the boot met your face, throwing you directly backwards into the carrots. The feeling of cold metal on your forehead and a clicking sound net your ears, and you looked up.

“I’m going to ask one more time before I’ll have to get a little messy. What. Is. Your. Name,”

“Elvis Presley,”

You regretted your choice instantly, as the gun went off directly into your thigh. You screamed, bullet wounds were always more painful then other wounds you got on the job.

where was the police? where was Dazai?

pain made it difficult to think straight, but you surmised that giving your name would be your best bet in this situation. You were most likely whoever they were looking for, and you didn’t want to endanger the innocent hostages.

“Y/N L/N. That’s my name,”

The man roughly grabbed your arm and hauled you to your feet, dragging you away from the other hostages.

“Yeah, we got the right person. Come on, let’s get out of here before the good ol boyfriend comes along,”

A bag was placed over your head, and you were thrown into the back of what you assumed was a van. Your injury’s weren’t that severe, yet the pain was unrelenting. It seemed to increase the longer you had them, though you didn’t know why.

“I bet your wondering why your in more pain then you were a bit ago,”

a man who’s voice you didn’t recognize spoke once the van came to halt, and it set you on edge.

“That would be the handy work of my ability, which i must say, comes in handy in my line of work. I can make one injury, one tiny little paper cut hurt like a thousand knives are stabbing you,”

As he explained his ability, the pain increasingly got worse, until you were writhing on the van floor, tears streaking down your face. Eventually, it stopped, and you sagged in momentary relief, only to be dragged out of the van.

You were about to slip into a pain filled unconsciousness when the sting of a taser brought you back. You jerked and screamed, just wishing it to all be over.

“Ah ah ah,” the man with the pain ability spoke again. “We’re gonna need you conscious for all of this. It’ll be more fun for me, and more painful for you!”

“Why,” you said, voice already hoarse from the events of today. “What did I do,”

“It’s not really what you did, but more like what Dazai did,”

..........................................................................

Dazai stood outside a warehouse, guilt and fear consuming him. His breaths were short and fast, and he could feel himself spiraling.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, you didn’t do anything, it’s my fault, god i am so STUPID—

“Dazai,”

Kunikida’s voice brought him away from his darkening thoughts, and Dazai tried to calm himself. Having a panic attack would not help the situation.

“Y/N is not helpless. I’m sure whatever this people have done, they’ll be fine,”

While Dazai wanted to believe his partner, he knew this specific group was known for their intense torture methods, because of their leaders ability. Dazai knew that the Port Mafia took down the majority of their organization, and he’d been tasked with breaking their leader, Takahashi Watanabe, and he did it through torturing and then murdering his fiancé. Dazai grimaced internally, the things he did in the Port Mafia usually did come back to bite him. He just wished they would leave you out of it.

This wasn’t the first time you had been dragged into grudges between Dazai and his old victims, and the guilt he felt about it had been building for some time now.

After deciding on a plan, Kunikida would take out the guards while trying to make as little noise as possible, and Dazai would enter, take down whoever was inside, and get you out. Kunikida would join him once he was done with the guards.

Kunikida’s ability came in handy at times like these, and although he did not show it, Dazai appreciated the strict man.

While Kunikida made quick work of the guards, Dazai slipped into a no longer protected entrance, and quietly surveyed the area.

Dazai had seen many things, he’d done many things, but absolutely nothing could have prepared him for your beaten and bleeding body, chained up against a wall, the ring leader standing in front of you.

Every time Takahashi flicked his wrist, you would start writhing in pain screaming out to whoever would hear you.

Dazai couldn’t stomach any more of his lover being tortured right in front of him, so he rushed out from his hiding place and punched him in the back of his head, feeling his own fingers fracture and pop at the force.

“That’s enough of that now,”

Takahashi was stupid, and left all of his men to guard the entrances, leaving no one actually inside the building but himself and you. Dazai undid the chains, and you wrapped your arms around his neck, sobbing loudly into his chest.

“I thought I was going to die, it was so painful—“

“I know,” Dazai ran his non injured hand through your hair, rubbing circles in your back with the other. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here fast enough,”

“It’s okay,”

Although you told him it was okay, Dazai could not ignore the pit of guilt gnawing away at his insides. Every time this happened the guilt got stronger, taking over his mind, the thoughts of you being better off without him filled his mouth and head, choking him with all the softness of ash. He’d debated breaking up with you for months, not because he no longer loved you, but because the less you were attached to him, the less likely you were to be dragged into these situations.

Takahashi was the final straw, so while Kunikida drove the car that held you and Dazai back to the agency, Dazai silently made up his mind that it would be easier for you to break up with him if you hated him. Though it pained him to think of no more soft mornings with you by his side, or quiet nights where he wakes up heaving and your there to comfort him, he knows that you’ll be better, happier without him.

..........................................................................

Yosano healed you quickly, as Dazai waited nervously outside the door, swollen and purple fingers throbbing. You came out looking good as new, though Dazai doubted you had mentally and emotionally recovered at all.

He walked you back to the apartment, assuring you that Kunikida would let the both of you off easy this once, considering the day you’ve had.

And for once, Dazai was quiet.

The walk was quiet, and not in a good way. You were inside your own head, reeling from the events of today, and Dazai was mentally preparing himself for the conversation he was about to have with you upon arriving at your apartment.

“Ugh,” You collapsed on the couch, not even changing out of your bloody and filthy clothes before wrapping yourself in a blanket.

Dazai felt his heart twist as you looked up at him with your big e/c eyes, and knew what he was going to do would hurt you. And for that, he internally apologized.

“Dazai? Is something wrong? you’ve been quiet ever since we left the agency. You didn’t even joke when Atsushi fell asleep in a cupboard again,”

“I’m breaking up with you,”

You scoffed. “Yeah right. Come on, what’s really bothering you?”

“No I’m serious,” He willed his eyes to remain cold, and hoped his face showed no sign of emotion. “I don’t love you, and to be honest I’m not sure I ever did. It was a nice thought, our relationship, but really, I just wanted to see how long I could take this with you,”

Your eyes were filled with confusion and hurt, and he saw tears prick the corners of your eyes.

“W-What?”

“Ah, did poor little Y/N think I really loved them? Or were you just projecting your emotions onto me, like you always do,”

The hurt in your eyes turned to anger. “You know what? Go to hell. If you think you can just play with my emotions and lead me on for five months, then I never want to see you again,”

“That’s the spirit!” Dazai snapped his fingers.

Stop.

“Were you lying then? This whole time, was it all a lie?”

The bandage covered brunette rolled his eyes. “Duh,”

Your hurting them. Stop it.

You wiped the tears from your eyes, then stood up and met him with a cold stare.

“I hope your next suicide is a success you monster,”

You walked out of the apartment with your head held high, though he knew you, so he knew you would probably head to Yosano’s place, and breakdown there. Maybe even Atsushi’s, if you really felt sad.

When he watched you slam the door, it all hit him, that you were gone, and he’d done it on purpose.

He’d ruined the only good thing he had in life, so now, once more, Dazai Osamu was alone.

..........................................................................

If Dazai hadn’t hated himself before, he definitely did now.

When he walked into work the next day, Atsushi slapped him. Hard.

Atsushi, of all people, had slapped Dazai.

The entire agency stopped, save for Ranpo, as Dazai lifted a hand to the growing red mark on his cheek.

“How dare you,” Atsushi started, eyes wild, tiger fur starting to grow from his arms. “Be an absolute dick to Y/N. You lead them on for five months Dazai, and then had the audacity to break it off after they got tortured? Because of how disgusting of a person you were? No, let me correct myself, how much of a disgusting person you are. If it were up to me, I’d fire you from the agency, and ship you back to the Port Mafia, since your so keen on being a monster!”

Dazai could feel his façade crumbling, and he felt the shocked and outright disgusted looks of his coworkers.

“If I were you,” Yosano spoke very quietly. “I would leave while you still have your life. You being immune to my ability will not stop me from slicing your entire body into pieces if you don’t leave and go back to whatever sewer you crawled out of,”

Dazai took his cue and left, letting his façade break when he hears you sniffle next to Kenji. Eyes downcast, Dazai whispers something so quiet not even Atsushi’s enhanced hearing could detect it.

“I’m sorry,”

..........................................................................

Dazai didn’t get out of bed for three days.

He couldn’t even sleep, dreams of you being tortured was all he saw whenever he closed his eyes. The memory of your face as he ripped apart your heart forever ingrained in his mind, a testimony to his treachery.

He wept bitterly, aware that all of your suffering he was the cause of. He was no doubt fired from his job, Fukuzawa was a kind and patient man, but he would not allow this kind of plain heartlessness. He’d known what kind of man Dazai was when he applied for a job at the ADA, but Dazai knew no amount of kindness could forgive what he’d done to you.

He dragged himself into the living room, turning on the tv, hoping to distract himself from his thoughts.

He flicked through the channels, then almost dropped the remote when he saw the report.

“The Armed Detective Agency building is currently on fire, Detectives Kunikida, Ranpo, and their coworkers have all exited the building safely, but Detective L/N is still inside. Due to their injury’s, the remaining detectives have not been permitted to re-enter the building to save Detective L/N, leaving all of us to pray they make it out alive. Their healer, Yosano, is out on a business trip, so all we can do is put our faith in modern medicine,”

Dazai ran out the door before the news reporter had even finished speaking, throwing on shoes and sprinting the the office. Luckily, he lived close enough to get there in ten minutes, and he spared no time ducking under the police tape.

“Dazai! Stop!” Kunikida yelled at him from beside a fire truck, and several firemen and policemen tried to stop him. He flashed his ADA badge -thank god he brought it with him- and dashed inside the burning building.

He choked on the heavy smoke, coughing heavily.

“Y/N! Where are you!”

He climbed the stairs, ignoring the burns of the flames that licked his arms and legs.

He burst into the office, fire consuming the room. He jumped over some fire that had spread across the floor, looking under each desk. Finally, under Ranpo’s desk, you were curled up clutching a stack of files.

“D-Dazai?” Soot covered your face, and he could hear your lungs heaving.

“I know I’m the last person you want to see right now, but your going to die if you stay in here,”

Carrying you bridal style, he ran out of the room, but stopped because the stairs down to the last level had completely caved in. It wasn’t too far to jump, by the only thing that greeted the both of you were bright orange flames.

He looked out the window beside you two, wasting no time to punch the glass, not caring about the shards stuck in his knuckles, before looking down at your form. You couldn’t longer see the rise and fall of your chest, and almost screamed.

“This might hurt,”

He leapt out the window, clutching you close to him, tucking and rolling so he took the brunt of the damage. With a sickening crunch, his shoulder popped out of its socket, but he didn’t care, he laid your lifeless form on the pavement, and began CPR.

“Someone get me an ambulance!” He yelled, never stopping chest compressions. His arms ached, his dislocated shoulder screaming at him to stop.

“Come on Y/N, wake up!” He screamed, tears making streak marks on his grime covered his face. He was vaguely aware of a medic running over to him, he could barley see past the blur of his own tears.

The medic gently took you away from him, and he held his face in his hands, sobbing. Atsushi crouched down besides him, but Dazai didn’t care. He didn’t care that anyone watching could see him cracking and breaking, he just wanted to know if you were okay.

“Why are you upset? I thought you didn’t love her?”

Dazai stood up. “I lied. I was stupid, and I lied, because don’t you see,” he turned to Atsushi, aware of the manic look he must have in his eyes. “She’s better off without me. She keeps getting injured because of my disgusting past. You said it yourself, I’m a monster,”

“Dazai—“ Atsushi started.

“Y/N is gone, and all of this is my fault,”

No one knew what to do, they’d never seen Dazai show this much emotion, they’d never seen his faces break, never seen him this broken.

Kenji was the only to move, the only to step towards the form of the crumbling man before them.

“Do you love them?”

“Yes. I really do. Now I’m scared I’ll never get to tell them again,”

Kenji motioned to Kunikida, and Dazai’s partner stepped toward him.

“Your truly an idiot Dazai. Don’t you think Y/N knew what they were getting into when they started dating you?”

“Well I don’t know, but I didn’t want them to get hurt anymore so I—“

“And therein lies your issue. You made a decision for them, without even asking their thoughts. Now you’ve caused pain for the both of you, and you may never get to apologize. Although I’m positive Y/N will make it out of this, i think you should go to the hospital to be there when they wake up,”

Dazai simply nodded once, taking in Kunikida’s words, then walked in the direction of the hospital. Kunikida was right. He is stupid. But hopefully, not too stupid for you.

He must’ve looked so dumb, walking into your hospital room, nervously ringing his hands together, not unlike you did when you asked him out.

“Dazai? What are you doing here?”

“Um, I kind of wanted to apologize. For being a monster,” his voice hitched on the last word, and he hoped you didn’t notice.

“Well? I’m waiting. Just because you saved my life doesn’t mean i don’t resent you for what you said,”

“I know I just...” Dazai took a deep breath before continuing.

“I’ve hated myself for a long time, that’s no mystery. But when we were together, it made all the pain go away. Even if it was just for a moment, it felt good. But, I lied to you. I’m stupid and I lied to you. I thought if you hated me, it’d be easier for you to get over me. I was wrong, but please understand,” he took your hand in his. “I didn’t break up with you because I didn’t love you. It’s the opposite. I love you, a lot, but you keep getting dragged into messes and horrible situations because of how much of a horrible person I was. How much of a horrible person I am,” Dazai hated the way his voice had started to wobble, but he kept going. “Y/N, I’m so sorry I told you all those things. I’m so sorry I broke up with you, and I’m sorry for how much my past has put you through. If you still never want to see me again, I understand, and I’ll leave now,” At this point, tears were quietly slipping down his cheeks, splattering on your hand that was held by Dazai’s. “Sorry,”

You locked Dazai with a hard gaze. “I haven’t fully forgiven you just yet. Breaking up with me over something that could have been discussed was stupid of you,”

Dazai nodded, turning to leave the room.

“But,”

But?

You continued softly. “Someone who doesn’t love me wouldn’t jump out of a burning building and perform CPR that saved my life. I don’t think your a monster, and I don’t think your a horribly person. A little dumb yeah, and definitely not perfect, but you know,”

He turned back to face you, hope rising in his chest.

“I think that’s why I fell in love with you. Because of the person you are underneath, the person you are underneath all that acting,”

Despite you still being injured, you wobbled over to his shaking form.

“So, Dazai Osamu, I’m willing to give you a second chance. Provided you vow to try to stop committing suicide, because it hurt when you did it. It hurt to know that I wasn’t enough to keep you here. And next time, let’s talk about stuff okay?”

He nodded mutely, and you opened your arms.

“Come here,”

He wasted no time hugging you tight, shamelessly crying. Tears of sadness, tears of joy whatever they were, Dazai didn’t care.

Because Dazai had finally found his reason for living.

Hi this is self indulgent nd i wrote it on my phone. Its a vent sorta, i kinda want one of my comfort characters to hug me rn :))))) messed up family life amiright guys

[soukokuwu]

hi rachel, i love ur work. i was wondering if u could pls write an angst to fluff scenario for ada dazai w a fem s/o. it’s always been a huge fear of mine to get cheated on because my parents never had the best relationship. i was wondering if u could write something about the reader talking w dazai about it and him initially thinking she doesn’t doesn’t trust him because of his past, but it actually being due to hers? sweet ending? tysm and i hope u have a good week !! much love

Dazai Osamu

➥ slight angst to fluff

➥ dazai x reader

➥ word count: 1.7k

➥ a/n: i’m sorry this took a long while, hopefully you’re still here, & i’m sorry to hear about that! my parents don’t have the best relationship either so i hope you’re doing okay 🤍

Your masks & mine

Insecurity kills all that is beautiful.

In this moment, you’ve never felt it to be more true. In this moment, as you look at the man you love, getting googly-eyes from the bartender. In this moment, you feel the fear, the anger, the upset, all creeping up on you. In this moment, even as the man you love has no one in his eyes but you.

It isn’t fair. This isn’t fair to him.

You try to talk yourself into concentrating on the conversation at hand. It’s something about Kunikida forcing Dazai to do things he didn’t feel like again. But even as you try your best, his voice sounds muffled at best. You continue to sip on your wine, your own thoughts eating you up.

Random memories flash across your mind.

That time when Dazai first brought you into the office and introduced you as his girlfriend. The look of shock on everyone’s faces you did not miss. They recovered quickly, but it still worried you.

That time when you were helping him with some paperwork, when he left to go to the restroom and only you and Atsushi were there. The weretiger had asked how you were doing, being with someone as suicidal as he. That wasn’t your concern though, because you already knew how Dazai felt about life and death. No. What concerned you was when Atsushi had so casually remarked on how astonishing it was that Dazai would even find a girlfriend, given his womanising nature.

A bandaged hand waves in front of your face.

Dazai asks if you’re alright, and what other answer is there than “I’m fine”? So you say it anyway, even if it’s an obvious lie.

And there it is again — Dazai believing you. Going back to the previous conversation. Not even so much as an “are you sure?” You know what he’s like — Kunikida and the others have always given his mind praise, even if his work attitude seems to be a total miss. They always mention how he’s able to see through people and their lies, how he’s always one step ahead of everyone else.

Then why? Why, if he truly was able to see through you — and you’re sure he can — why does he leave you be? Does he not care? Did he already know somehow and doesn’t bother to say a thing?

Images of your parents flash in your mind. The fake smiles, the happy charades, the “joyous” moments you thought you would all be able to recreate. You remember your mother smiling through the nights your father didn’t come back. You remember how tirelessly she worked for you, to support you. You remember her coming back after work, all despondent, but putting on an act the moment you came out of your room. But you knew, of course, that she was putting on a mask.

A mask — just like your father did.

When he came back smelling like women’s perfume, and your mother didn’t even question him. When he rarely came back at all sometimes, and she greeted him all the same. When he got angry and told her she didn’t even look like a woman to him anymore. But the moment you came out? There they were again — the masks. Your parents would hug each other and assure you everything was alright, giving each other pecks on the cheeks.

And just like your mother, you ignored the problem. Because you were afraid. Afraid of what might happen if it’s confronted.

But everyone breaks. And so did your family.

The masks never helped — they were but a hindrance. The masks they wore made them unhappy for years, unhappy ever since you were a kid. Those masks, those cursed masks, delayed their happiness.

A mask — just like Dazai always wears.

That thick comedic mask of his. Is there anything else he hides? He’s much more intelligent than you are; even if there is, you certainly wouldn’t be able to tell.

No, no, you convince yourself. He’s not anything like your father, he’s not wishy-washy, especially not when it comes to relationships. If he doesn’t like you, he won’t even bother. You’d be able to tell. So why? Why is the fear still here?

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dazai’s voice snaps you out of your reverie. A worried expression is plastered on his face, and only then do you realise you’ve started tearing up. Your mind tries to think up excuses to mask your insecurities — and then you realise it’s you. You’re the one with a mask on this entire time. You’re the one who’s afraid to voice out your feelings. You’re the one not being fair by not being truthful with the man you love.

And you find this laughable. If you truly love him, why are you so afraid?

In a moment of panic, you run out the bar doors, never looking back. Not even when you hear his footsteps hurriedly chase after you, not even when you start to get drenched in the downpour, not even when you hear him yell out for you. You just know you hate yourself in this moment, and that you definitely don’t deserve someone like him. He’s always tried his best to be open with you about everything — his thoughts, his attempts. But you? You hide behind your walls, and then you even try to blame him for not attempting to break them down, when in reality, he’s just trying to give you space in case you feel uncomfortable. You know that. Why do you shield yourself so?

Dazai isn’t the despicable one here, so is it you?

You shut people away, then blame them for not coming close. You yell at the voices in your head to stop, but you’re the one making them. You blame yourself for everything, yet you still do nothing to change it. You —

An embrace from behind steals all the strength from your knees and you buckle to the ground, your wails — and your thoughts — being drowned out by the sound of the cars driving past. You choke out an apology to Dazai for being like this, and your heart aches when you realise he’s not even mad. The tone in his voice is just that of concern; his embrace nothing but warm and comforting. And as you force yourself to turn back and look into his hazelnut eyes, all you see is love.

“Let me take you back, okay?” Dazai tells you, his brown hair sticking to his face in this rain, his smile nothing but genuine as he looks down and waits for you to answer. In that moment, you know he’d do anything for you. Even if it is something this trivial, like squatting in this pouring rain and listening to you rant — he’d do it.

And as you nod, his smile gets a little wider and he presses his lips on your forehead.

“My precious belladonna.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You realise then, that your biggest insecurity is that Dazai would view you how you viewed yourself.

Your parents didn’t have the greatest relationship, and you blame yourself for it. And god knows why. But it makes you feel like you ruin relationships, that it’s because of you that they put on those masks in the first place. If you weren’t there, maybe they could’ve been happier sooner. But who can tell? Because what’s happened happened. And you still blame yourself.

But your fears prove redundant, because Dazai doesn’t feel the least bit repulsed that you are feeling insecure over the smallest (in your own words) things.

You spill the beans as soon as you’re both changed out into more comfortable, dry clothes. The heavy downpour caused a power outage, but neither of you cared. In the spill of the moonlight, Dazai holds you in his arms as he listens to you, in a way to shield you from how concerned he looks as he does. He did guess it has to do with your family, but never did he consider that you blame yourself this much.

He regrets not pursuing the matter, not asking you about it. He had assumed you needed time alone to get over it, that maybe it’s something personal you wanted to handle yourself. And so he tries his best to really listen to you tonight.

Dazai doesn’t understand, no matter how hard he tries. He doesn’t understand how it feels like to miss a happy family. His life has been enshrouded in darkness since he can remember. At least, until he joined the agency, where the light started peeking into his abyss. And it got even stronger the moment he met you.

There is one thing he understands, though.

When you say you ruin everything you touch. Every relationship, you ruin it. Even if you don’t mean to. And you lose people because you just aren’t enough. It reminds Dazai of someone who was once dear to him, but he shrugs the feeling away. Now, in this moment, he needs to be there for you, to be strong for you. And he smiles thinking of the reason — because he loves you.

This mask, the one he wears this time, the strong front he puts on — this one's for you.

“My lovely belladonna,” he whispers in your ear once you’re finished. You look up at him once more, and it’s like there’s even more love in his brown orbs. “I promise you, I will never do anything like that to you. I will always be honest with you, because I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”

It’s true, because you’re different from other people. Not that Dazai is going to pour his feelings out and explain it to you, because it doesn’t come naturally to him, but a fire is burning within him; a strong desire to make sure you know you’re loved, and that he’d always try to make you happy.

Your masks have finally come off, and Dazai can see the relief in your eyes as they do. He presses his forehead against yours, and gazes at you, praying that you can feel his sincerity in his words.

“I’m sure your parents never blamed you for anything, and that you’re actually the light of their life, the one regret they never had, because I feel the same,” he assures you, his voice low and steady. “I love you, and I will put everything I have into never letting you down, for the rest of my life.”

“The rest of your life?”

You can hardly believe it. Dazai hardly makes promises about anything, let alone anything to do with the future. And yet here he is, putting his all into making sure you wouldn’t feel like this anymore.

“The rest of my life.”

And he does.

tags: @yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes

[rottingflovver]

Random relationship (and just general stuff) headcanons for the ADA squad!!

Atsushi Nakajima 🐯

Soft boi

Smells like strawberries and vanilla

Don't question me on this, he just does

Also probably adores eating strawberries and vanilla, alongside ice cream and anything sweet really, but like, in moderation (it's gotta be a soft food tho)

He also likes fruits and veggies

A healthy boi

His ideal date would be sightseeing, just walking around town with his s/o and admiring the scenery

Would try to be really cheesy and say something like "you're prettier than any location we've been to" but he'd get too embarrassed halfway through so it would just come out as a stammering mess

He's adorable tho, you love him

When sleeping, if you sleep in one bed, he'd legit be like a big cat (no pun intended)

He'd be so warm, and his arms would be wrapped around you in a soft embrace

Prone to having nightmares so please comfort him

Ozamu Dazai 💀

The literal opposite of a soft boi

What I mean by this is that he's a straight up f-boy

Don't @ me, it's official; he's left every woman he's ever been with crying

But don't worry, once he gets attached to you, he'd be all giddy and happy whenever you even exist around him

My dude adores coffee (+ alcohol!)

Doesn't really eat much (please force him to eat more) but he's a sucker for sweets (I feel like he'd be really picky tho, like "no this brand of chocolate is absolute garbage I only eat the finest *insert niche brand literally no one has EVER heard of*"

We love him for it

He'd also really be into salty snacks, anything that has a crunch to it really

Did I mention that he smells like washed out Cologne mixed with his natural scent (+ the most recent way he tried to commit not-living)

His ideal date would be a coffee-date

He knows it's not much but that's where he feels the most relaxed and happy, so he wants you to experience that with him as well

Unlike Atsushi, this boy can FLIRT

Expect a cheesy remark every few seconds

It comes to the point where it's actually kinda annoying

Once you start firing it back at him (it's gotta be something sincere tho) he'd be flustered and kinda flabbergasted

Is also prone to nightmares, but don't expect to see this side of him unless he REALLY really trusts you

Kunikida Doppo 📚

Stoic boi

Idk how to explain this but I feel like the 🗿 emoji really represents him

Also he smells the most normal out of everyone ㅡ literally just some kinda nice perfume and neutral, washed out shampoo (by neutral I mean that you can't really identify what it is, but it's nice)

I feel like he'd be warm

Like not to Atsushi's level, but he'd be a good heat provider if it ever gets windy or rainy

Not to mention how comforting his hugs are, although, extremely awkward (he's so inexperienced with them Lord help him)

Also a sucker for coffee but that's because it's the only thing keeping him sane (and awake, Kunikida go to bed challenge)

He's a really good cook

Like it surprises you how many dishes he actually knows how to make, given how much time his work occupies

He's also more like your dad (or even mom tbh) than your boyfriend, because he's always nagging cuz of some idealistic criteria you failed to meet (ie. "cLeAn YoUr RoOm")

That's why his preference for dates are dates that don't even feel like them

It's literally just everyday activities

Going shopping together? Sure, he's down, gotta get it done anyway and it's nice to have company. You want him to teach you how to make a certain dish? Geez, finally, it's about time you start doing that yourself. You wanna join on a mission? That's a bit too dangerous, but you can meet him afterwards

Like do you get what I'm saying

It's so obvious you two have a thing for each other but he's just so damn dense and yet somehow gets super flustered at the same time

Compliment him on something he's insecure about and he'll be a mess for like 10 whole minutes (by this I mean he genuinely won't be able to utter a word)

Akiko Yosano 🦋

She listens to girl in red

Okay maybe not, but she definitely stans Dreamcatcher

I'll stop you get the point

Her favorite LOONA solo is Heart Attack

(That was the last one I swear)

But fr tho, she looks and acts scary but she's a whole sweetheart

Kind of cold but it's okay you can warm her up (melts if you do that)

Really scared of letting people get too close to her, but if you keep insisting and being nice to her she'll have to accept your love

ALSO fond of coffee (seriously what's with these people) and a mediocre cook (she's trying ok)

Will always be down to try and make something with you, whatever the dish may be

Smells like oranges and roses (not mixed, obvi on different days it's a different vibe)

Also sometimes has a lingering aftertaste of blood due to her job at the ADA and you're kinda just like 😶 about it because?? Do you tell her?? Does she know?? What do you do???

Pain.png

Hint: you should definitely tell her tho

SHE FINALLY HAS A CONSISTENT SHOPPING BUDDY

Although she doesn't force you to carry everything around like she forces everyone else to, because you're special ✨

That would also be your assumption on what her favorite date is, but she can actually be pretty romantic!

Don't expect anything grandeur tho, it's just a fancy dinner date at a restaurant

Poor bb has been planning and saving up for this for months now so please appreciate it

She sleeps like a rock

She's just straight, like a soldier

Oh the irony

But I feel like if you were to hug her she'd instantly melt into your embrace

Is ALSO prone to nightmares (seriously what's with these people) but she doesn't wanna bother you with them

Edogawa Ranpo 👓

Praise him

Please

He has a praise kink

So please praise him

He's surprisingly soft

Maybe it's all the sweets he eats, but he's both soft to hug and soft personality wise

Oh yeah did I mention he emits an aura of candy

Like he walks into the room and you don't even have to look to know that it's him, cuz it'll just smell like sweets all of a sudden

Speaking of, he really adores them

To the point where you'll have to force him to eat something healthy from time to time as well, I mean, seriously, that much sugar CANNOT be good for you

If you give him some homemade baked goods (ei. cupcakes, brownies, cake, ect.) listen he will LITERALLY lose it

You're his angel now

No not even that, you're a GODDESS/GOD to him

(Yes he's that dramatic)

He likes taking you to see detective movies with him where he figures out the killer in the first 3 minutes

Also he gets lost so gosh darn easily; never ever let him out of your sight or he'll just be gone forever

Other than that, he lets you organize and plan the dates, cuz he thinks you could do a way better job at being romantic than he ever could

He's really okay with anything you wanna do ㅡ he's just happy to be with you

(Just don't take him to someplace where he can't eat candy)

Force him to eat spicy food and he's breaking up with you nckdndjc

When sleeping together, he's sprawled out across the mattress

In many ways he's just a big teddy bear, you can climb on top of him and sleep there and he'll just be chill with it

These next few ⬇ are only friendship hcs bc a sis doesn't wanna go to jail

Kenji Miyazawa 🐄

Baby boy, baby

Listen I can't explain it but he smells like grass and that fresh air country smell

Like you just know he does

LOVES getting head-pats

Loves giving them too!!

He's so confused when it comes to city stuff, so he'd much rather chill with you somewhere on a grass field

Expect to play a lot of tag and hide n seek with him!! It'll be extra fun if he drags Kyouka and Atsushi with him as well

Sometimes he'll randomly drop a country fact that seems so obscure to you (think; that one time he mentioned they just throw criminals off a cliff) and you'll just stare at him like; 👁 👄 👁

He loves to eat

Literally anything

"I love cows but I love eating them too"

He mentioned before that he shouldn't eat a lot cuz he has no power when full but you can't just??let him starve??

Give him an apple and water and he'll be fine

Introduce him to arcades and he'll get hooked in a matter of seconds

Kyouka Izumi 🌺

baby girl, baby

Loves to go sightseeing like Atsushi

Kind of stoic in the beginning but as she slowly warms up to you she'll be smiling all the time

Brings out Demon Snow to protect you if a leaf falls a little too threateningly

Cdndjdj no but fr ㅡ she never really had friends that accepted her and wanted to spend time with her so she really doesn't want anything to happen to you

You have to remind her that she's just a kid; she should be allowed to relax and enjoy the moment for a bit

Smells like flowers and death

The death part of it fades away with time

Spends a lot of time with Atsushi!! Meaning you will spend a lot of time with Atsushi as well

If you don't like him I'm sorry but you two just can't be friends

She has no idea what counts as friend activities and what doesn't so expect her to either: a) not propose anything, or b) propose totally obscure stuff

But if something cute catches her attention she'll make an attempt to guide you to it

Like if she thinks you two should eat ice cream she'll stare at a nearby ice cream shop intensely

Sadly missing Junichiro and Fukuzawa cuz I just don't know enough about them 😔 we sad

[smoochi-dazai]

Hello there, can you do headcanons on how Atsushi, Dazai, Kunikida and Chuuya would react if they found out their fem s/o could sing opera? Like she’s not a professional, but she is self taught and has a powerful soprano voice and she sings Carmen’s Habanera like an angel basically? And they find out through her singing in the shower, through karaoke, etc. If you want to do this imagine thank you! 🙏💕🌹🍷✨

✿ “  Love is a rebellious bird ” ✿

—> Bungo Stray Dogs, Atsushi, Dazai, Kunikida, Chūya + PM Dazai | Reader

—> Sweet | hcs

—> Description | Atsushi, Dazai, Kunikida and Chūya react to a s/o who’s a talented, self taught opera singer. 

+ I’m not sure how this turned out, sorry for taking so long <3 This is my first time writing for Atsushi, Kunikida and Chuya so i was super worried. TwT

Nakajima Atsushi 

✿ Atsushi along with his s/o lived together, similar to Kyōka - Dazai suddenly roomed these two together with some kind of scheme. Using a cover up of keeping her safe, even though the s/o was plenty able to protect herself.

✿ The least Dazai expected was for these two not to start dating. It had been a couple months time before they even developed some feelings, but the love was intoxicating the air. 

✿ Eventually becoming more affectionate publicly, small kisses on the cheek, hand holding- it was all some cute puppy love. Forming into something more genuine.

✿ While his s/o were roomed together with him, it wasn't uncommon for Atsushi to be out of the house at work. Or the other way around while his s/o still searched for a job.

✿  Thankfully Atsushi recommended to be an assistant at the ADA, if his s/o had no interest in all the violence and fighting as a proper member. 

✿ The day Atsushi was first introduced to his s/o’s powerful voice for singing was while she was in the shower.

✿ He had towels for s/o and a spare change of fresh new clothes, but the poor boy didn’t want to interrupt their singing. opening the door ever so slightly, he put the clothes inside then shut the door again. No intension on invading his s/o’s privacy.

✿ Atsushi would mostly likely sit outside the door to listen to his s/o’s singing. It captured his heart honestly, poor boy was speechless. 

✿ Never had he heard such a strong voice, he saw you as such a beautiful singer, let alone someone who slept right next to him ?! he couldn’t believe his ears.

✿ Poor boy ends up being hit by the door when his s/o came out of the bathroom, now changed in light clothes and a towel over their shoulders that had been partially dampened..

✿ Atsushi stared at his s/o in awe. Unable to say a word he just stares at s/o for an uncomfortable amount of time. 

✿ Once Atsushi snaps out of it, he’s complimenting his s/o all day. 

✿ When I say all day, I mean all day.

✿ Atsushi had no idea you were capable of something so, amazing. He knew you were talented, but never grasped the fact you could control your voice for opera?!

✿ He wont force you to sing for him or anything, but every once in a while he may ask. 

✿ Overall, Atsushi was in love with the singing. He wouldn't question much, he’d be too busy complimenting it all. 

Dazai Osamu

✿ These two first met at the cafe beneath the ADA’s head office. 

✿ While the others were screaming at each other over work, Dazai left for some peace and quiet. The least he was expecting was a new waitress coming to his table with the cutest little smile.

✿ Dazai would do his typical flirts, asking to commit a lovers suicide.

✿ Each time he was declined, for obvious reasons haha.

✿ Visit upon visit, Dazai would show up much more frequently then the rest of his friends in the ada.

✿ They started to be on a first name basis which was a surprise, because even the ADA members call him by his surname.

✿ The day Dazai visited and found the cafe trashed up because of a group of thugs? he was beyond upset. s/o was knocked out cold on the ground, while the head of the cafe was clenching onto his hand that bled. 

✿ After the ada caught the ones behind the attack and taught them a lesson, Dazai offered to take care of s/o at his place. She meekly accepted his offer.

✿ Being around someone more casual was refreshing and new, the rest of the people he knew were always work busy and overall just rude to him. Stick in the muds as he’d put it. 

✿ S/o was gentle with him, always worried if he got injured- it was odd. 

✿ At first he began rejecting her, but she’d still come to his place with groceries and cook for him.

✿ Falling her her more and more, Dazai joked less about his suicidal tendencies. Becoming more serious with his issues, he’d vent to s/o for relief. Even when she didn’t say anything in return, it was still comforting. 

✿ Eventually these two started dating, Dazais flirtatious habits died off and he was always focused on his s/o. Some may say he was a bit obsessive, but Dazai was just afraid he’d lose what made him want to live.

✿ Their first date was simple, going out to town and just walking together hand in hand. They ate together, shopped a little- that was until he felt his s/o insist on pulling his arm, pointing at a building across the street. 

✿ Dazai thought his s/o was pointing in the direction of a pathway leading to a river.

✿ “ You want to commit a lovers suicide in the river? “ I never said he completely got rid of the jokes- even if they hold a little truth. 

✿ “ No moron! Karaoke is tonight !! “

✿  “ oh. “

✿    Pouting, his s/o dragged him to the building. Not minding that they were alone, she just wanted an excuse to sing for her lover. 

✿ Thats the night she first sung for Dazai- he wasn’t aware of her talent in singing before-hand so this man was in pure awe.

✿ Dazai leaned back in his chair, eyes never once leaving his s/o’s form when she sung to him. A smile formed on his features uncontrollably, the singing wasn’t any singing of a casual for fun. It was Opera- 

✿ He constantly wanted to speak up and say how amazing his s/o was, but stayed respectful. keeping his mouth quiet.

✿  Afterwards, Dazai showers his s/o in love. Kisses, words- you name it. 

✿ “ Your voice was so powerful, ah~ I could die! “

✿ Dazai claims that if it were to continue he may faint from the beauty, saying his s/o was an angel sent from above to take care of him.

✿ His s/o better be prepared- because the next day she goes to work. all the ada detectives were sitting down like usual, but that's when Dazai takes it upon himself to drag s/o onto his lap and start bragging about her. 

✿ Dazai tries to make her sing again, but the poor girl is embarrassed looking down at her lap.

✿ Overall this boy is all over his s/o, bragging to the world that she is talented as hell. Will often tease her for blushing when he asks her to sing for him. 

Kunikida Doppo

✿ This man didn’t plan on meeting the woman of his dreams for another 3-5 years as he stated many times, which would then lead to marriage. 

✿ But when you became an assistant at the ADA he couldn't keep his eyes off you, always coming with excuses as to why he’d stare.

✿ Dazai constantly teased him over this-

✿ “ Is it true? Kunikida has the hots for our new assistant?~ “ Dazai teases, only to be tossed away. 

✿ “ I am only keeping an eye for her for the safety of our office, plus she may need guidance around the office. “

✿ “ Sureee.. “

✿ He never planned on becoming super close to the new assistant, but the way she smiled at him always kept his heart fluttering. The determination held in her eyes whenever he gave advise, it was something he appreciated. 

✿ Unlike Dazai, she wasn't always on her ass. The potential love of his life was always on her feet, keeping her work a priority. 

✿ It got to the point, she was kunikidas go-to person for assistance. Need coffee? she’d get it for him, need to shut up Dazai? he is already out the window. She’d never failed to meet his expectations, a true blessing. Even helping his with paperwork became a regular whenever he was fatigued. 

✿ He never involved himself with romance, especially around work. But he couldn’t help but fall for you as time went by, dazai pointing it out made it more obvious to himself. he was changing because of his s/o.

✿ It takes a couple years to actually get together, this man is always busy with his work and ideals. So even though it takes so long, id say its worth it. He deeply cares for his s/o even if he isnt always fun and romantic- 

✿ The first time he hears his s/o sing was when they were off work for once, just resting at home on the couch. However, kunikida still insisted on working from home. 

✿ His s/o had to convince him to leave.

✿ “ Can you at least listen to me sing? I’ve been practicing... i thought you’d want to listen. “ 

✿ Sing? this was the first time he heard of his s/o singing. He never wrote that down, time to add it to the list of talents he figures out his s/o has.

✿ He was convinced to listen to one song, thankfully. So his s/o dragged him to the living room, siting him down as she sat in front of him. 

✿ At the start, he never once put his notebook down. Writing random jots in there about she could only assume- it was about her. 

✿ So while singing, she carefully takes the book from his hand, catching Kunikidas attention. 

✿ After the singing, Kunikida was almost in tears- nowhere in his notebook did it say his girlfriend would be this talented. 

✿ He’d grab her shoulders, staring eye to eye with her. It was an intense stare only to be glossy, tearing up. Explaining how that was so beautiful. 

✿ Overall, Kunikida is gushing over the beauty. There will be a lot of explaining as to how his s/o is perfect in his eyes. 

Chūya Nakahara 

✿ Chuya first met his s/o through the Mafia, s/o weren’t all that special. Just another person beneath him in terms of rank, he didn’t know much about them honestly.

✿ It wasn’t til he ran into his future s/o during a meeting with fellow executives and their leader, Mori. 

✿ S/O was playing with Elise on the opposite side of the room, Chuya was much more focused on Mori for obvious reasons at first. But then his ears pick up on s/o braiding Elise hair and humming for her. 

✿ Honestly it was pretty sweet, s/o was a beauty he’d admit. 

✿ Suddenly, Mori called s/o over. Advising her to follow Chuya on a mission to retrieve information from a colleague in question. 

✿ At first Chuya would question why she of all people would be sent with him, but that look in her eyes gave it away. S/O wasn’t any normal mafia member, her dull eyes still held a sparkle. Serious about their mission.

✿ Something about it was intimidating? 

✿ Its never right to judge a book by its cover, Chuya knew that. But he still couldnt grasp that someone as motherly as the s/o was capable of hurting even a fly.

✿ S/o was there to keep him under control, Mori was all too aware of Chuyas hot-headed approach to issues. But Chuya still was trustworthy enough.

✿ It became a regular for s/o to join Chuya on jobs.

✿ Turns out she was born without any kind of agility. She was the most human you could get, but that didn’t stop him from admiring her. She seemed like a mystery at first.

✿ S/O was capable of high levels of martial arts, even rivalling him. Though Chuya still would have the upper hand, just from having a little more experience in the mafia. 

✿ s/o would lure people in with her singing, then he’d deal with them.

✿ S/O gained the nickname ‘ Siren ‘ for her beautiful vocals, while deadly even without Chuya at her side.

✿ After almost a year working together, Chuya gained feelings for the women at his side. the feelings were mutual, s/o and Chuya were just too caught up in work to confess. 

✿ He would compliment s/o for a job well done, her singing was truthfully very alluring. 

✿ It was only recently where he found her on an empty bridge in Yokohama. 

✿ She seemed to be preparing to sing on her own, maybe practicing for future missions. If she sung on the streets she’d probably make more money then the mafia gave her. 

✿ Chuya kept himself hidden away in the shadows of night, watching his s/o who was doing small exercises for her vocals.

✿ S/O began to sing opera, which was new to him. Shutting his eyes, Chuya couldnt help but smile. He never saw himself dating such a talented young women. Someone to call his own. 

✿ Even when he’d murder someone before her eyes, she never once seemed disgusted. Never found herself question his motives, not even tease him for his outbursts. 

✿ He adored his s/o through in through. 

✿ When his s/o finishes singing, he’d finally reveal himself. out of the blue, his s/o would be pulled into a hug.

✿ “ That was beautiful, who knew i’d date someone so damn talented. Holy shit. “

✿ Chuya wouldn't bombard his s/o in compliments like others, it would be more shown through actions. A kiss on the head with his arms wrapped around her waist. 

✿ Chuya would be happy, alone on the bridge with s/o.

✿ Overall this man would get a little distracted on missions because of that beautiful voice, may have to snap him out of it during serious times. Be prepared for hugs, and many pecks on the lips. 

Bonus !! Port Mafia Dazai 

✿ Dazai first met his S/O in Lupins bar, one night where he went to meet with  Odasaku for a couple drinks. He heard a women in the opposite corner of the bar humming to herself. 

✿ Having nothing to do with her, the smaller hums were relaxing to just think during before he made his leave.

✿ Frequent visits later- Dazai found himself showing up for her, more then the drinks. Often alone, he’d just come to listen to the women hum, or even sing sometimes. 

✿ She rarely properly sung in order to leave the peace at the bar serene. Having no interest in making someone uncomfortable.

✿ One day he visited and finally spoke to her, even praising her just for a mere tune that created a beautiful atmosphere in a normally gloom bar.

✿ Days on end, Dazai would insist on her singing for him. Free time? he’d be spending that time at the bar. He was often curious as to why the talented women was stuck at a cheap bar like Lupins. Yet, she never seemed to answer his question. So he left it be. 

✿ That’s how they end up getting closer and started dating. Visiting almost everyday to see one another- The women never questioned his often dull expression as days pass by. 

✿ Who knew she had been the single thing keeping him to hold some faith in humanity, or even himself. 

✿ As the visits became daily and they started dating, she often would leave the bar and sing for Dazai outdoors. It allowed her to use all her vocals, no matter how loud she may be. 

✿ Hums, small tunes, singing then- Opera. Something she always found interest in. Feeling confident to sing for Dazai after really knowing each other.

✿ The first time his S/O grabs his hand before he even sat himself down, he knew something was up. Rather it was good or bad had been the real question.

✿ “ I wanted to try something new for you “

✿ Dazai had no idea what he was instore for, but accepted it anyways. Sitting himself on the ground crisscross. 

✿ That was the first time she had sung an Opera for him. It was purely her voice, no instruments in the background or some music video online. It was live, right in front of his eyes. 

✿ Boy was this mafia executive in Awe. His S/O was beautiful, and not just that. She was talented !! 

✿ Dazai being in the mafia hasn’t any experience in the world of singing, yes he often would hum random tunes through boredom. But her voice was so strong, and held control throughout the whole performance. 

✿ Once his S/O finished singing, Dazai was speechless. Eyes sparkling like a child as he stands up and grasps her hands. There was hardly space in between them, but he pays no attention towards that. 

✿ “ That was outstanding !! How’d you do that ?? “

✿ Honestly he didn’t give her time to answer his question, before asking a million more. Dazai was just in love with her voice, even more than before. It was stronger then any person he’s fought against. How could someone be so talented and it not be an ability or something?

✿  Overall this boy is in shock, he’s absolutely in love with the singing and insists on his s/o doing it more for him on the days off work.

[alphasmoonlit-selfships]

Hiya! I noticed your f/o take over asks and would like to send some! 🌅,🎢, 💬 With Atsushi! Hope your tiger can answer! :3

The tall, silver haired gifted blinks in curiosity at the ask, smiling with interest, “Well, this is new.” He chuckled as he gives a wave, “I’m guessing by your question, I’m meant to respond instead of Dany.” Atsushi mused as he glanced over to the petite brunette in question, who was busy fussing over her work and unaware of the question sent over.

Atsushi chuckled warmly at this and shakes his head, “Well, I’m sure she won’t mind if I take over for a bit; we are both kind of responsible for this blog.” (Includes Jason too 💖).

“Well let’s jump in shall we! Oh! And before anything, we are in our mid-20’s here! So this is going down memory lane!” 🐯✨

🌅How did you two meet?

Oh wow, this feels like so long ago, almost 6 years to be exact! And it’s actually kind of funny now that I think about it! I’m sure Dany agrees.

The way we meet was actually…kind of similar to my situation, yet it has its key differences. For one, Danielle was more on the run and in hiding, she’d use her shadow ability a lot to steal items from small stores to get her food. She knew how to stay off the radar well enough that we had no idea what we were dealing with when the agency was contacted...

Many dubbed her as a ghost due to her shadow gift, which didn’t help Kunikida’s psyche or patience 😅 but Ranpo soon gave us more details after a good laugh. Explaining that this person was a gifted and had a knack for using her ability at night.

So we took the opportunity to find her; my tiger’s hyper senses helped in tracking her, especially when she took notice of how I was able to pick her out. Taking the lead from Kunikida and Dazai and chasing her to one of the warehouses by the Port.

While my ability at the time was well in picking her out, she still had an advantage using the darkness around the warehouse to traverse through the space without making so much as a sound. Suddenly a white light of something flies by and I’m almost struck with what looked like an arrow, yet it disappeared before I realized. It’s like it came from every direction and there was no sure idea on where she was.

Hmm… even when I tried to talk to her, she refused to appear. Only when I made the effort to fight back did she make some appearance, but just slightly with how quickly she left her ability and returned to it. But I got an upper hand on her once I got an idea of her repetitive jabs. Enough for her to reveal herself to me, but not really her.

Rather she appeared as her wolf, I was almost struck by her appearance, maybe out of surprise and awe than fear. My tiger can attest to the feeling, but we were quick to realize the situation were in and wasn’t the time to really admire a large wolf gifted that wasn’t keen on being captured.

And I will say, at the time I hadn’t transformed into a full grown tiger again, not since the Guild chaos. I had better control over my ability, especially due to the President’s influence, but willing that part of my ability again? I couldn’t in that moment with worry I might lose control. I could feel he wanted to leave and break free to protect me when Danielle’s ability overwhelmed me enough to pin me to the ground.

But I could just tell, if you could believe it, that she didn’t want to hurt me, more than anything, intimidate me into submission and scare me off. Overall, Dany didn’t want to fight, she didn’t want to hurt anyone, and I could see she wasn’t just a confused and uncontrolled animal gifted like I was. She was well-aware and just trying to get by from wherever she was running from.

It was then Kunikida and Dazai had caught up, gun fire seeming to break Danielle’s wolf ability attention from me and towards them. Fear clear as day, before Dazai nullified her ability.

By then, we were surprised by her appearance; clearly not expecting her to be small in stature and features not from around Japan. Needless to say, she didn’t automatically wake up like I had when I was found out about my ability. The nullification from Dazai’s ability taking a toll on her on her psyche and connection to her ability from what she later told me. So we took her back to the Agency...

Sorry, about the detail, but that was just our first unofficial meeting, first fight, I suppose you can say 🤔😅 but our first conversation was actually a few days after. Sadly, Kunikida insisted I be kept out of interrogating her, especially after we all found out Lucy knew her from her previous affiliation with the Guild. Letting her be the one up and front of getting Dany to talk when she woke up.

Which I suppose I understand…I would have liked to ease her into speaking too…I did just fine with Kyouka-chan…until she asked for food with my money… >.> plus my Tiger may have been an influence to want to meet this new animal gifted…

Anyway, we’re finally here, meeting time! Seems like I was the first to unofficially meet her and the last one to properly introduce myself to her 😅 by then, Danielle was given a proper uniform by the agency and more composed than her disheveled figure prior.

Hmm… maybe it’s our current relationship standing that making me think so fondly of her in that moment. Or maybe it’s how I've always seen her in all honesty. I admit I was taken aback by her, compared to how she fought me nights before, her eyes appeared more brighter, a unique violet due to her ability’s influence, yet held…a lot of story in them. She was cute, I admitted to myself at the time, her voice soft and held an accent under the Japanese she spoke.

I’m pretty sure we were both surprised by each other to an extent, likely from our first ever meeting and the underlying curiosity of our abilities… Up until Dany just voiced out her thoughts that I was the one she fought against nights ago… To which I began to apologize because of how we encountered and fought each other 😅

She apologized in return too, hesitant and almost embarrassed from attacking me…of course I didn’t fault her for the action, she was just trying to protect herself. And with the years of knowing her, I understand why she did what she did…

Nonetheless! I’m grateful to have been there to unofficially meet her the first time… I don’t think Dany would be where she would be if we didn’t catch up her, well me, because Dazai-San and Kunikida-kun definitely took their time 😅👀 (don’t let them know I said that!).

🎢What was the first date like?

Oh! 😳 our first date together? 🥰

Wow, I remember being so nervous to even ask out of just…fear of rejection. Of course silly thing to think about now, all things considered. And how I asked her was kind spontaneous and blunt after… a serious mission that Dany got hurt in. Feelings coming up to the surface thinking I was going to lose her without saying how I felt.

She said yes of course, once she was completely healed with Yosano’s ability. Dazai may have had a bit of high encouragement from me on what we could have done through the day and what Dany would have liked going into it. Which honestly would have been a bit to overwhelming for her in all the suggestions Dazai gave. Course what would have I expected from him 😅

Nonetheless, Dany and I went on an exploration through areas of Yokohama she wanted to visit, such as a national park that had a vibrant garden and array of ponds to have a meal in. It was during a nice spring season so not to hot or overbearing. She definitely loved every minute, especially a bit of cloud gazing. We talked about several stories we hadn’t talked about before and a few deep ones too, such as what she use to do with her family as a child and how this kind of surrounding reminded her about her old home.

We even took a walk through a small shopping strip, where I may have jumped into an uncharacteristic-of-me moment to want to buy her anything she found an interest in. To which Dany fussed over me to not spoil her with silly trinkets; “What could I possibly want more when I have the best thing in the world right beside me?” 😳🥰💖

I at least bought her a stuffed animal plush; she loves the soft, soft textured ones; loves running her hands through them or carrying them about our home; she really loves them. May even clip a favorite one to her belt; she definitely still has it somewhere on a shelf in our room. 😊

The rest of day went well into the night, where she took the lead in taking me a bit into the outer ring of Yokohama, where it’s more residential and less bright lights of the city. She surprised me with some stargazing, but also getting a really beautiful view of the city from a viewing platform near a hiking route. I had lived in Yokohama for about 3 years at that point and I was still in awe of the view from afar. Considering this was the first time I was viewing it from this new location, I was in taken almost with emotion.. Hmm, maybe recalling an old comment Dazai-san made about Yokohama being my city to protect...

But I was also in awe by Dany too, who rambled a bit on how she found this place later when she expanded her night runs. There was a soft glow on her that night that I remember and it left me kind of..in a daze ☺️ Normally quiet and not much of a talker, but I really enjoyed being the special one enough to hear more of her speak…I could listen to her for hours much like she tends to do for others a lot.

I recall her being surprised by my staring and may have gotten flustered and nervous for rambling the way she did. How silly of her to assume I wouldn’t mind listening to her talk for hours if she wanted to UwU I kind of took on a leap of confidence then to calm her down, taking a hold of her cheek to let her know what I thought...

Needless to say, she was definitely blushing hard in the twilight night. I, even more so when she caught me off guard to kiss me first… (I wanted to be the one to do so…but I suppose she could have a claim for that >.> but I can say I’ve claimed many more after that 💖🥰).

💬You have any pet names for S/I?

Oh plenty!~ Other than everyone commonly referring her to Dany-san or Danielle, mostly by Kunikida, I tend to call her Dany (affectionately); which now that I think of it, I am the only one that does.

Dazai did once and she kind of bristled at him with a glare, granted he was being his usual..flirtatious self with her 🙄 (I swear he does to tease both of us..)

But personal pet names I often refer to her as “Darling” or “My Darling” especially when she’s very anxious and visibly worried. She does appreciate it during those times the most. I’ve also called her “Love” a few times, but mostly out of teasing impersonation of her accent when she does it, it always makes her laugh, snort laugh too (which is adorable), when I try 🥰.

I also have learned a bit of Spanish through our short year of friendship before we became an official couple, where I’ve gradually learned more 💕. While I may not be up to par with her, I can still hold a bit of a conversation in the language; and in learning, I gave her a pet name of “My Star”, so “Mi Estrella ✨” (I do say it kind of how it sounds from the wording 😅 and not like how she says it, but she loves it nonetheless 🥺 this pet name makes her smile and visibly more affectionate 💕💖). It may also be my tiger ability coming out and saying that nickname to refer to her ability ^^;

I do call her “Mika” sometimes, but only in private and when comforting her… She wasn’t so keen to me calling her that in the beginning due to… Well, it took a lot of time for her to get use to it, even when I told her that if she didn’t want me to, I wouldn’t call her that. But she slowly insisted, eventually becoming more of the endearing name she wanted it to sound like with me, and told me it was okay to call her that. It’s not the most common pet name for her, but she appreciates and often asks me to call her that when she is feeling down and in need of reassurance.

I also call her “Kitten” occasionally, in whatever blissful and relaxing time we have together, private or in public. It definitely confused a few of the others on while I settled on calling her that when she technically is a wolf… but it just stuck and Dany doesn’t seem to mind it all! (The silver haired young man looks thoughtful with a smile, recalling how flustered and how she purrs quietly when he says that to her) If anything I think her wolf likes it too, probably another instance of my tiger talking out of me. 😅✨

Be on the look out for a post she made about that “Kitten” nickname! ✨ it’s been on her drafts for a long while now cause she wanted to include a drawing, which she has but knowing her she wants things to be perfect… Honestly everything she does is just... amazing 💕 She needs to realize that more, I’ll make sure she does UwU 🥰😊!

Thank you for the ask anon! This is the first time I've ever done this and I definitely don't mind accepting any more in the future!

Dany can be very busy sometimes with work and tends to get mentally exhausted very quickly. She also tries so hard to be attentive to things that she forgets to care for herself ;;w;; Anything to lighten the load for My Darling 💖🐯 I know another ask came around! So I'll be sure to answer that as soon as I can! — Atsushi 🐯 🌙

[crow-writes-stuff]

Help me sleep

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Dazai Osamu & Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), possible Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Whumptober 2020, Sleep Deprivation, Sleep Deprived Dazai Osamu, Nakahara Chuuya Takes Care of Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Sharing a Bed, Literal Sleeping Together, Post-Decay of Angels Arc (Bungou Stray Dogs) Series: Part 6 of Soukoku Whumptober 2020 Summary:

Dazai can't sleep. He finally asks Chuuya for help.

Ao3

Dazai stares blankly at the papers in front of him. He's trying to make sense of the black squiggly lines all across them. "Dazai-san?" Atsushi interrupts his concentration. "Hm?" Dazai asks without looking up. Atsushi fidgets with his belt before answering: "You seem really tired. Maybe you should finish early today?" Aw, he's concerned about Dazai! He finally looks up and gives Atsushi a smile. "What makes you say that?" More fidgeting. "Uh, well... For one, the papers you've been looking at are upside-down." Oh. Hm. That explains his troubles. Dazai shrugs and stands up. "Maybe you're right," he says with a cheerful voice, "tell Kunikida I'm calling in sick." This takes Atsushi by surprise, and he stammers through his response. Did he expect more resistance? "Oh, um, s-sure. But, uh, Dazai-san?" Dazai suppresses a sigh and looks back at Atsushi. "Yes?" The boy's expression is absolutely sincere when he asks: "Are you alright? You've been acting a bit strange lately. Everyone is worried." Ah, so Dazai has not been hiding it as well as he thought. He waves Atsushi off with a lazy smile. "I'll be fine, no need worry." That at least seems to placate the other for the moment, and he lets Dazai leave without further questions. Technically, Dazai didn't lie. He is sure that he'll be fine. Eventually. For now, he's leaning against the wall of the staircase and looks down at his shaking hands.

He's so tired. He has barely been sleeping, ever since... Ever since the whole disaster of the Decay of Angels situation. Sure, it worked out for them in the end, but Dazai's mind has known no rest. And neither has his body. He has tried almost everything he could think off to finally get some sleep but to no avail. Logically he knows that he only has two options left. Three, if he considers a successful suicide an option. He really, really would rather avoid both options. Which is precisely what he has done until now. The first is simple and would probably be effective as well. But taking drugs, even if they're regular sleeping pills, leads down a path he knows all too well. So that's a no from him. The second option is the last resort in every case. But what choice does he have at this point? Of course, he could go home and fail to rest again. But he knows how much his body can take and it won't be long until it reaches its limit. Death due to lack of sleep is not what he had pictured for himself.

Dazai sighs and fumbles with his coat to get his phone. The screen looks blurry to him, but that isn't the phones fault. Besides, he doesn't need to see to find what he's looking for. He starts the call and holds the phone to his ear. While listening to the quiet beeps of the starting connection, he sinks down the wall. Might as well sit down while he waits. It doesn't take long for the call to be picked up. "What the fuck do you want?" snarls an all too familiar voice. Dazai smiles. Good old Chuuya. His smile quickly falls again, and he takes a breath. He doesn't want to do this, but he's out of options.

"I need your help." The line goes completely silent. Dazai isn't too worried, though. Because as much as they fight with each other, their partnership has always been build on one fundamental truth; If one of them needs help, the other will provide it. As predicted, Chuuya soon asks: "What do you need?" His voice is even, but Dazai likes to imagine he hears a tiny hint of worry. Dazai almost wants to laugh, but he can't muster the energy. He's going to sound so pathetic. "I can't sleep." Another moment of quiet before Chuuya says: "Dazai if this is some kind of joke..." "It's not," he's quick to respond, "I think... I think I haven't slept for more than two hours this past week." The fact that he's unsure speaks for itself. He can hear a quiet sigh at the other end of the line. "Okay," Chuuya says, "Are you at the Agency?" Dazai nods before he remembers that Chuuya can't tell. His brain really isn't at its regular capacity. "I am." He hears quiet rustling and imagines that Chuuya is sitting at his desk, probably doing paperwork. "Wait there. I'm going to pick you up." The line goes dead without Chuuya waiting for confirmation. He knows Dazai will comply. He's the one that asked for help after all.

Dazai continues staring at the black screen of his phone, before resting his head on his knees. He just wants to finally sleep for more than a few minutes.

He sighs and checks the time. With a start, he realises that he already zoned out for a while. Time to go outside. He doesn't want Chuuya to come in here and perhaps run into someone else from the Agency. That would take to much explaining. Something Dazai does not have the energy for.

He makes his way downstairs and notices that he's swaying slightly. Looks like his sense of balance is also affected by the exhaustion. He's honestly a bit disappointed by his body.

Outside he leans against a wall for support. He doesn't have to wait long for Chuuya to turn up. The expensive red car is an instant giveaway even before it slows to a stop. No one gets out, so Dazai makes his way to the passenger door. He sinks into the leather seat without looking at Chuuya. Chuuya is looking at him, though. Dazai can feel his eyes as if they're burning into his skin. Finally, Chuuya turns to look at the street again. "Seatbelt," he says and starts the car again. He waits for Dazai to comply before driving off. Dazai really wants to make a joke, but his mind is blank. Chuuya usually isn't this concerned with safety, he's pretty confident in his driving. But Dazai notices that the seatbelt prevents him from slumping forward. So he settles back, his head leaning at the window. Perhaps that was the intention.

A hand on his shoulders brings him out of his thoughts. The engine is turned off, and Chuuya is looking at him again. They've already reached their destination. Said destination clearly being the underground garage of Chuuya's home. Dazai isn't surprised. They get out of the car and Dazai trails behind Chuuya as they make their way up to his apartment. He has stuffed his hands into his pockets. Chuuya has probably already noticed the shaking though. As much as Dazai likes to make fun of him, the other is far from stupid.

Dazai goes through the motions of taking off his coat and shoes entirely on autopilot. He only really comes back when a cup of hot tea is placed on the table on front of him. He doesn't even remember sitting down on the couch. Chuuya is sitting across from him. Neither of them has spoken since they started driving. Dazai already thinks that Chuuya is merely waiting him out when his expectations get defied. "This is going on since you came back?" Chuuya's talking about his little prison cell where he tried getting information from Dostoevsky. Of course, Dazai hadn't gotten out, until the threat of the Decay of Angels had been neutralised. But Chuuya is right. Dazai nods. "It's gotten worse over time." In the beginning, he had thought that it would be a temporary thing. That he'd soon be back to his old self. Sleeping on his desk if he wanted, head clear when needed. Instead, he just got less and less sleep.

Chuuya doesn't pressure him into talking more, and he appreciates it. He slowly drinks his tea. It's some kind of herbal mixture, presumably to help him sleep. He already tried that, but he doesn't comment on it. It won't hurt either.

He's staring at his empty cup when Chuuya stands up with a sigh. "Come on then." Dazai looks up at the offered hand and allows himself a tiny smile. Chuuya isn't looking at him anyway. He lets Chuuya pull him to his feet, and they head towards the elaborate bedroom. It's not the first time Dazai is here, but he's still fascinated by the giant dark wood bed frame and the deep red sheets. Chuuya once said, that now that he has money, he's not going to compromise on his own comfort. Looking at the bed, Dazai gets why.

Chuuya is already undressing when Dazai comes out of his thoughts. He turns around and starts unbuttoning his shirt. He places it on one of the chairs in the corner, his pants and socks soon following. When only his underwear is left, he turns back to the bed, where Chuuya already sits crosslegged with the blanket folded back. He's changed into a pair of pyjama pants and is leaning against the headboard. Dazai feels a slight pang at the few unfamiliar scars he spots. He ignores it however and starts crawling into bed. Chuuya easily puts his arms around Dazai and pulls him against his chest. This is far from the first time they have shared a bed. They shift until they're both comfortable, with Dazai having slung one arm over Chuuya, his head resting on the other's chest and their legs tangled together. Dazai closes his eyes, listening to the steady heartbeat of his partner. They may no longer work together, but he's never really stopped seeing Chuuya as that.

Chuuya starts gently playing with his hair and Dazai sighs. He had hoped that he would just fall instantly asleep, but that doesn't seem to be the case. "Everyone is safe," Chuuya says softly, and Dazai stiffens. How does he know what's on his mind? Chuuya sighs now. "So that is what's keeping you up? You're worrying about what happened to your friends." He pauses, waiting for a reaction that doesn't come. "And what you could have done differently to prevent it in the first place." Dazai squeezes his eyes even closer. Chuuya is right. "And you're probably trying to come up with a thousand plans to prevent something like this from happening again." Chuuya definitely knows him too well. Not that Dazai regrets this in any way. Chuuya always was weirdly insightful. And he's the only one with whom Dazai can be truly honest, even if he often isn't. He nods slightly, not reacting otherwise.

Chuuya's voice is gentle when he continues: "You're not going to like it, but there wasn't anything you could have done differently. We were all taken by surprise." He's still stroking Dazai's head, and he relaxes a little again. "And you can't prevent your friends from ever getting hurt again. But when it happens," Chuuya sounds like he's smiling now, "you'll find a way to get them out of it." Dazai sighs softly. Perhaps Chuuya is right once again. "And you won't be alone," Chuuya whispers finally.

Dazai smiles as he finally relaxes completely. Chuuya isn't going to leave. No matter how much he hurt him in the past, they're still partners. Dazai is safe with him. Probably the safest he'll ever be.

"Chibi is getting sentimental," he mutters, barely conscious at this point. Chuuya laughs softly. "Go to sleep, idiot." And Dazai does. Because Chuuya is right. Whatever comes next, he won't be alone to handle it.

[aarcanechaoss]

☆ Silence ☆

Atsushi Nakajima angst

Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter

'Cause all my life, I've been fighting

Never felt a feeling of comfort, oh

And all this time, I've been hiding

Atsushi felt incredibly alone even when surrounded by people he knew. It was an awful feeling to have- he absolutely loathed it. He loathed the internal pain he felt when Kyoka smiled at him, when Dazai told him he did well, when Kenji and Yosano offered affectionate hugs and even when the director would pat him on the head- he just felt empty.

He was grateful don’t get him wrong but... he needed something to fill in the gaps. Ranpo’s offerings of food couldn’t help either sadly and all Kunikida did these days was yell at him. Was he.. was he really nothing? Did he deserve to feel happy with these people?

And I never had someone to call my own, oh nah

I'm so used to sharing

Love only left me alone

He doesn’t remember his parents or how they left him. He remembers the sick words of the headmaster saying they threw him away in a garbage bag. He remembers cold rooms and locked doors and thin blankets. He remembers crying every night until he would pass out unceremoniously as that was the only was he could get sleep.

If he wanted something the other kids had to share it with him- and that was so unlikely but when the ADA shared with him it didn’t feel like pity or because they had to- it was because they wanted to. That fact just didn’t make any sense to the orphan.

He’d clutch his chest and sleep facing the wall of the cupboard, tears would flow silently so as to not wake Kyoka. He knows they all care but he just- he just can’t seem to function with that idea just yet after all he’s been through he’s naive and he knows it- Akutagawa of all people don’t need to point that out to him.

But I'm at one with the silence

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

Silence was Atsushi’s favourite. The silence after a storm, the silence after the ADA would pack up for the day and the silence after missions with Akutagawa.

“Weretiger.” Akutagawa spoke with refinement and almost regality- Atsushi didn’t understand why he thought Atsushi had it good, didn’t understand why he found him pathetic for being so scared (considering his past).

“Yes Akutagawa?” He said softly whilst staring out the window of the train back to Yokohama station. Silence followed... not one Atsushi was comfortable with so he turned to look at the dark haired man across from him.

Akutagawa seethed but it seemed his mouth moved faster than his own mind. “What’s wrong?” Atsushi froze for a millisecond.

“Nothing.” He said almost bitterly. If he was going to tell anyone shit like Hell it would be the asshole who wants him dead.

“You’ve been quieter on missions the last few weeks. At first I assumed it was to do with you training or something of the like but I’ve grown used to hearing your mindless chatter on the train... so I ask again what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He said emotionlessly. “I thought you didn’t like when I was pathetic and annoying so I am simply doing my best to keep my partner happy... this is our stop goodbye Akutagawa.”

The mafioso could only stare after the weretiger as he walked off, a frown etched into his porcelain like features.

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long

I've been quiet for too long

I've been quiet for too long

Shit shit shit this was bad. It was like the room was spinning and merging with the colours in the room. Atsushi tried to steady his hand as it shook harshly. His breathing would definitely give him away if he didn’t calm down. Kunikida was yelling again, at Atsushi this time repremanding him for the mission with Akutagawa for almost getting stabbed... again. He should be used to this he thought, being yelled at is normal right?

It wasn’t in this case. Even Dazai thought Kunikida was being over dramatic and saw just how uncomfortable Atsushi was. He noticed the shaking hands and the almost dazed look in his eyes but before he could say anything Atsushi was up and out of the room saying he needed to speak with the president and if it weren’t for Yosano’s instinct to check on him no one would have followed him out.

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

Panic attacks were horrible. Atsushi hated that he couldn’t control them, hated the feeling that loomed in his mind and body and fuck even his soul felt like shit. Yosano’s voice echoed outside the small office that the ADA used as a storage room she knew he was in there yet he could hear someone else but couldn’t quiet- the president shit.

Atsushi tried to straighten himself out in case the two walked in but let’s be honest he couldn’t cover the red puffy eyes or make up a story as to why he was in their storage room.

“Atsushi?” Yosano said softly as she clicked open the door. Atsushi bit his lip and kept his face in his hands- don’t look at them, don’t look at them, they’ll think you are pathetic and weak. You’ll cry again don’t do that. “Atsushi can the president and I sit with you?”

He nodded, the nod was small but the doctor and president saw and came to his side. Fukuzawa placed a calming hand on the young man’s back only for Atsushi to flinch and melt into his hand as Fukuzawa rubbed calming circles on his back. Yosano gripped onto his hands.

Fukuzawa nearly froze when his hand found the ridges of deep scaring on the small young man’s side and gave Yosano a side glance.

“Atsushi I want you to tell me the truth alright.” Yosano started. “You can’t lie to me I know the signs of a panic attack when I see one and we also know you’ve not been feeling well. Kyoka came to me telling me you’d been crying to sleep. We’re here to help.”

“You don’t need to tell us the whole truth my boy.” Fukuzawa adds. If the president is honest he began to see Atsushi from a fatherly perspective but being his boss has made it awkward to try and initiate that. Atsushi sighed and shook. Yosano squeezed his hand comfortingly. He struggled to find the words before settling on something- a lyric to a song he heard the other day that resonated so heavily.

“I'm in need of a savior, but I'm not asking for favors. My whole life, I've felt like a burden. I think too much, and I hate it. I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring. Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence.”

His body shook as he choked out the words. It felt good to admit them but at the same time- his arms itched in a way that wasn’t healthy he wanted to scratch and scratch until the feeling stopped but Yosano was holding his hands.

“Oh Atsushi no.” Yosano said. “You mean so much to us- you are in no way shape or form a burden. You are like the little brother I’ve always wanted thinking isn’t bad only if you keep it to yourself. We are here for you.”

“I haven’t been able to speak to you about this-“ The president started. “But I think of you as almost a son like I do Ranpo. I wish I would have spoken to you earlier about that and I must say I wish we were closer I’m sorry I never saw signs of you not feeling well.”

“I- thank-you.” Atsushi cried. “No one... no one ever wanted me before. It’s hard to want to live when all you are told is horrible things. I wanted to- I almost don’t want to keep going.” He admits.

Yosano and Fukuzawa’s eyes widen and pull Atsushi in for a hug in the most sisterly and fatherly way they could.

“If it’s okay please don’t tell the others. I’m not ready for them to know.”

“Okay.”

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

Fukuzawa and Yosano kept a closer eye on Atsushi from then on. He was thankful they made him feel wanted. They’d force him to take breaks and take him or for dinners. Fukuzawa often invited himself over to his dorm with gifts of food and such- his excuse to Kyoka was that he saw Atsushi as a son and she accepted it because well it was the truth.

After some particularly rough missions it was becoming obvious to Yosano that Atsushi was pushing himself to exhaustion to finish them. Akutagawa has even forced himself to walk with the weretiger to the ADA headquarters much to Atsushi’s distain. The damn mafioso was actually worried since he nearly died... again and all Atsushi did was snap at him.

Yosano offered her comforting hugs to Atsushi and sharp words with the Mafioso. Let’s just say Akutagawa left knowing something new about the weretiger. He now knew Atsushi was suffering from something- was he being an asshole and thinking he was weak. Yes. Why? Because he’s an asshole. Even his own sister was worried for the damn boy it was annoying.

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long

Dazai knee something was wrong. He had to it’s Dazai. Atsushi’s lacklustre efforts and near suicidal approaches to missions proved it. Dazai wasn’t good with words and in no way did he know what to say... like;

“Hey Atsushi do you want to die or something?” Doesn’t sit right as a question to give. The tall man noticed how close he was to the president and the doctor- after his clear panic attack - and it was doing him some good but it didn’t stop him from worrying especially since he boy mumbled a lot to himself and Dazai had started listening to said mumbles.

“Burden.... hate it.... wrong.... die in a ditch.... give up give up give up.”

How do you ask someone if they want to keep living?

I've been quiet for too long

Ranpo was known for his damn ability. Ranpo knee he fucking knew but he never said anything- mostly because when he went to tell the president he merely shushed him and said to keep quiet about it. He doesn’t worry for anyone... he gets bored and has no attachments and doesn’t bother tying to be friendly with the orphan but being told to keep something this heavy quiet weighed on Ranpo’s shoulders. He hated it.

He cornered Atsushi on his break and told him he knew and that he hadn’t told anyone. He told him to be strong and brave because he was loved by the other members and he told him the bridges often led to being saved as well.

Bridges....

I've been quiet for too long

Junichiro didn’t know Atsushi as well as he would have liked. He didn’t and he wasn’t going to pretend he did but seeing the boy like this for the first time he didn’t expect him to suddenly be so small and thin and drained of all energy- what did Dazai do this time? He thought wantonly. He didn’t expect to see him at the Yokohama bridge staring at the water. He didn’t expect to see him so sad.

“Ranpo was right.” He whispered looking towards the ginger man. “Bridges can lead us to being saved as well.”

“What? How about we go get something to eat and then we call Dazai to come get you.” Junichiro suggested.

“No. No calling anyone. I’m tired Junichiro.” He said. The ginger man shuffled awkwardly. He smiled at him and began to walk away, Junichiro following at his heels leading them both to a familiar building. The ADA headquarters.

“Why are we here?”

“Atsushi?” The presidents voice reverbed in the walls of the hall as he left his office.

With that Atsushi broke down. “I need help.” He admitted.

I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

[uraharasandals]

It may be surprising to y’all but I’m actually going to be in my last year of high school next year and university applications are in fact, a thing. Anyways, to all of you out there who need this like me, hang in there and let’s get through 2020 as well as we could :) 

Also this turned out to be way longer than I thought it would be so I decided to divide it into organisations! 

How BSD characters would help their S/O through college apps (Part 1) [ADA]

[Kunikida] 

- This man is a sweetheart despite his short fuse towards Dazai. When he sees you freaking out in front of your computer, he quickly rushes to your side with a mug of chamomile tea (yes he has done his research; Kunikida knew which tea is the most calming and soothing). Once you manage to calm down and let him wipe away your tears of frustration (if you had any), he asks you what was wrong. 

- Kunikida lets out a sigh of relief when he heard that it wasn’t something life-threatening. However, he still recognises that college applications are extremely important, so he resolves to help you as best as he could. 

- Kunikida has been to university, so he knew that the process was quite difficult. However, when you list out your problems with a lot of terms and jargons that are specific to the college application system, his head went up in confusion.

- He quickly figured out the basics through Google though, and did research on a lot of applications that did get the applicant into the universities that you were looking at. After leaving him alone for five hours and stressing through it by yourself, he came back with a stack of information that would help you, and talked you through it slowly, making sure you understood all of it.

[Dazai]

- Dazai tries to cheer you up with jokes and his frolicking around, as well as snacks and maybe even something romantic. But when you start breaking down into tears of frustration, he starts to mildly panic. He asks if there was anything he could do to help and you really didn’t know. 

- So he decided to look at what was scaring you so much. Dazai has to admit, he was a little surprised at how complex the entire thing was. But he manages to educate himself on it to try and help you for once (yes, Dazai can be helpful when he wants to be thank you very much)

- Once he’d checked you have calmed down, he presents you with a whole new host of options; do you want him to help you threaten or bribe your dream university so they would accept you? After your shock at his proposed solutions faded, he starts to offer actually useful advice. 

- Dazai is a strategist and he knows it. So he laid out his plan to ‘conquer’ this complicated game of ‘entering university’ (because after all, it’s still a situation where brains would help; there were set rules and people had manoeuvred around it. He would simply do the same and play dirty). Amazingly, his plans were strategies that you had seen people talk about on Youtube -- and once again Dazai took the opportunity to brag about it and act cute around you. 

[Atsushi]

- Atsushi isn’t sure how important university really was, but then he saw you having a breakdown in front of your computer and knew it was serious and competitive business. After panicking for about ten minutes, he calmed down enough to ask whether you were okay and whether you need anything. 

- After getting you a glass of water, he tries to reason his way around it; after all, a lot of people had got through life without university, so it wasn’t absolutely necessary. Besides, you can always join the ADA! But when he saw it was going nowhere, he decided to call in the expert - Dazai. 

- Dazai gave him shit advice as always, so he turned to Kunikida. Kunikida rambled on for quite a while, but he summarised it at the end by simply saying ‘Try to figure it out yourself before you can help her, brat.’ 

- So somehow he decides to try for university himself as well, despite not having had any qualifications before. Atsushi decided to try getting into a vocational training institute (where you learn practical skills rather than going for an academic/professional degree), and you ended up helping each other to your dream universities :) 

[Yosano] 

- Yosano-sensei is another one who doesn’t understand the need to go to university. She herself became a healer through her abilities (and her past which we won’t go into), so she thought that it was ridiculous you needed to go to medical school.

- But when she realises the gravity of the situation she immediately sobers up. While she knows that she can’t help on that end, she offers as much moral support as she could; ushering you to bed whenever she sees you staying up too late, making you meals or getting takeout whenever you want to stress eat, or comforting you. She was there for every step of the way, and available for hugs all the time. 

- When you had to go for an interview, she made sure you were dressed properly for the occasion. Even if it was an online interview, there were no excuses; you absolutely cannot wear a formal shirt and shorts just because you were at home. 

- Once you were done and finally finished with the applications, she drags you out on a shopping trip with her. It didn’t matter that there wasn’t anything you guys needed, she made up her mind that it was better for you to get out of the house and take in some fresh air. Besides, it was the better alternative to sitting in front of the computer and continuing to fret. 

[Ranpo]

- The third one that doesn’t give a crap about university. He decided to pick a fight with you, stating out about 100 reasons why it was pointless to go and why you shouldn’t go because 1) it was useless and 2) he needs you by his side. 

- He had meant to rile you up in a fight, but that just resulted in you being more stressed and attempting to push him away instead of seeking him for comfort. When you started giving him the cold shoulder (because you really needed to concentrate), Ranpo threw a fit and there was a cold war in the house for a few days.

- Eventually, he asked Kunikida about what was so important about university, and realised that it may actually mean a lot to you. But being Ranpo, his pride was still there and he didn’t want to apologize just yet. He decided, however, to be as helpful as he could be. 

- And every time you sit in front of the computer, there was a different kind of sweet sitting there waiting for you. Sometimes it was your favourite, sometimes it was his favourite,  but it didn’t really matter; the intentions did. When Ranpo saw you accepting the sweets, he took it as a sign that you forgave him and started to stick to your side whenever you were working on your applications. He doesn’t really say anything, but you knew he was there as best as he could.

[Tanizaki]

- Somehow he found you in one of your breakdown sessions and immediately panicked. However, instead of being in panic mode for ten minutes like Atsushi did, he asked hesitantly whether he could approach you, and when given permission, he held and hugged you until you were able to calm down significantly. 

- Tanizaki admits that he doesn’t really know how to help; he was a student formerly but quit to join the ADA. However, Naomi was still in high school, so he decided to approach his sister for help regarding this.

- Naomi gave him loads of tips which he shared to you, but eventually he invited her over and you two had loads of studying sessions and university application sessions, which helped you a lot, especially when you had a friend together. Naomi was also motivational because she gets things done easily, and gives you a lot of advice. 

- Tanizaki knew that he would be interfering if he was part of the circle, so he just lets you and his sister get it on. He does provide mental support and food though, and cooks dinner, and makes desserts whenever you two feel stressed or are studying late into the night. 

[Kenji]

- Kenji is a country boy. He doesn’t know what this complex university system is, because back in the country you get plucked out of school every so often to help with crops and most of them don’t make it to university. (please tell me if I got this incorrect!) 

- Being innocent and carefree as he was, he kept asking you questions about how things were done. At first you replied to get him away from you, because you needed peace and quiet, but while answering him, you realised you answered some of your own questions. 

- Kenji was also a kind boy, so he asked the people he helped around Yokohama how he could help you. Some of them offered genuine advice, but he just messes it up when he tries to offer it to you, but it does make you laugh. Sometimes, however, he comes back with sweets and offerings from sympathetic parents; he once came back with a kitten, which made your stress decrease a LOT. 

- On weekends, he insisted on you taking a trip with him to the countryside even though you protested it; you had a lot on your plate. However, these trips often help clear your head and you were able to write more once you get home. The fresh air does do wonders for your stress. 

[Kyouka] 

- Her first response was to kill someone, obviously. However, once you persuaded her that it doesn’t work, she told you, with a deadpan face, to trash the computer. That wouldn’t work either.

- She tried to bring you all sorts of cute things to cheer you up. That did, temporarily, but she soon realised the fundamental problem of ‘not enough space’. So she decided to cook for you instead, which helped a lot. 

- Kyouka doesn’t really understand how university works, so she had you explain it to her. Once she learnt all of it, however, she started offering advice on her experience as an assassin, and tried to put them in context of university applications. 

- You weren’t sure how, but it somehow worked. Kyouka also asked Atsushi for help, who asked Kunikida. At the end, she dragged Kunikida to your place and helped you, while staring at your process. Whenever you get stressed and wanted to throw things, she offers her ability as target practice. 

[Fukuzawa]

- Fukuzawa did go onto higher education. But back in his days higher education was much, much simpler. He just stared on in disbelief when you tried to explain the current university application process, and had to tell you that it was ridiculous. 

- However, he tries his best to help. Being an avid reader of literature, he introduced books that he thinks might help your preparation; if you didn’t have time to read them, he gives you ten minute crash courses on them (despite his dislike of people not reading what he recommends), and helps you out on how to summarise them properly on your applications.

- Fukuazawa also helps you proofread your essays or applications. He points out what he thinks as incoherent or lengthy; basically, after his scrutiny, your application was beautifully polished in the only way he could help. 

- He also makes sure you gets enough rest and sleep in the midst of all this. Fukuzawa remembers to usher you away to bed at the appropriate timing and to wake you up whenever you decided to operate on sleep deprivation alone. He was the only thing keeping you to a reasonable schedule and timetable, but you could get out of it if you waved a cat in front of his face. 

[yellowcanna]

Two Sides, Same Coin

Summary: Since the beginning of Quirks, Yokohama has announced independence from Japan and closed itself from the rest of the world.

To this day and age, no one knows what lies within the city of Yokohama—or that was what the public was made to believe. In reality, Yokohama has long fallen into the control of the world’s largest criminal organization known as the Port Mafia.

Follow Class 1-A as their principal organized a field trip to Yokohama! In their short trip there, they must change their perspectives and learn exactly what it means to be justice and what it means to be villains.

Rating: T

Genre: Crossover, hint of shounen-ai (boy love)

Pairing: Contains mild Soukoku (Dazai x Chuuya) and Shin Soukoku (Akutagawa x Atsushi) if you squint

Author: Canna / Yellow Canna

Available on AO3!!

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CHAPTER 17

ANOTHER DETECTIVE (DAY 4: WEDNESDAY)

This story has been beta'd by Momentary_Flight, Shady Spades

Aizawa glanced out the window of his and Toshinori’s shared dormitory, observing his students gathered outside in the empty lot. While he couldn’t hear what they were talking about, it was obvious from how they gathered around Midoriya, Hagakure and Shouji that it was about what happened tonight.

Hearing the sound of the door opening, Aizawa turned to see Toshinori walking in.

“I’m surprised,” Toshinori commented at the sight of Aizawa sitting there. “I thought you would go lecture them.”

“I think they’ve learnt their lessons.” The Erasure Hero glanced back out the window. “Now we know how the Port Mafia plans on keeping their promise, it’s a good opportunity.”

Toshinori couldn’t agree more. It wasn’t every day that they would get access to a power capable of completely recovering their bodies in a second without any side effects. With such a powerful healer on their side, the children can afford to be reckless without suffering any losses and learn lessons on the way.

“What do you think about that question, Aizawa-kun?”

“What is there to think?” Aizawa snorted. “The only way is to capture the mastermind.”

“Yes…but that was apparently the wrong answer,” Toshinori recalled the way those Agency members looked when they got the response.

Even if the example had been real and Toshinori was infected with that Ability along with Shigaraki, he couldn’t imagine killing the other to save himself—regardless of whether or not Shigaraki was his master’s grandson.

As Heroes, it was simply not their way.

There were forty-eight hours. Time was certainly tight, but it wasn’t impossible for them to find the criminal behind it. People can’t vanish without a trace. With technology and every Hero on the lookout, the chances of them finding the mastermind was high.

“There are too many things we don’t know,” Aizawa sighed. If it were that simple, then the Armed Detective Agency members wouldn’t have reacted in such ways. “We have too little information, but I doubt anything would change my answer.”

“If such power existed in our world, I can’t imagine what chaos it would bring…” Toshinori muttered. Droplets of sweat trickled down his skin just from thinking about it. In many ways, this sort of power was more destructive than anything else, because it was a power that could divide people’s hearts.

“What will you do?”

“Hm?”

“Tomorrow,” Aizawa gestured to the business card the blond was still holding in his hand.

“I will go take a look,” the blond responded. If there really was someone who was acquainted with him, then he needed to go meet them. “Will you be going with the kids tomorrow?”

“Yeah, to be safe,” Aizawa answered. Although he no longer needed to worry about the children’s lives, that didn’t mean he would fully trust the Armed Detective Agency. Those detectives made it clear that they were going to listen to whatever the Port Mafia wanted them to do.

“About Midoriya...” The raven-haired man looked back out the window and his eyes easily found the boy within the group. “He’s showing early signs of PTSD.”

“I know,” Toshinori ran a hand through his dry blond hair. “There may be some trauma from the events of tonight, but I believe that young Midoriya will overcome it. I will talk to him in a bit.”

“…Then I will talk to the other three.” Aizawa closed his eyes and rubbed his dry eyeballs through his eyelids. As the homeroom teacher of these kids, he understood how much Midoriya idolized and was close to the former No.1 Hero. If Toshinori talks to him, then there shouldn’t be many issues.

Despite how he looked, that boy was a strong one. Toshinori was right that the boy will overcome it. He simply needed time.

“Just remember that we have to arrive at the Agency by seven tomorrow.” With that, Aizawa grabbed a cup with his toothbrush inside and headed for the public bathroom.

Left alone in the room, Toshinori waited quietly.

After another fifteen minutes or so, the kids seemed to have finished their talk and scattered—all of them heading for their own rooms.

Once all of them were back inside, Toshinori headed to the room Midoriya and Todoroki shared. He knocked on the door gently, not wanting to disturb the other kids considering how small the living spaces here were. It didn’t take long before Toshinori heard footsteps on the other side.

“All Might!” Midoriya looked up in surprise when he opened the door and saw his teacher/idol standing out there.

“Do you mind if we have a talk, young Midoriya?” Toshinori asked.

That was how the two found themselves sitting on one of the large pipes in the empty lot by the dormitory. They were both wearing their pajamas and slippers under the peaceful night.

“How are you feeling, young Midoriya?” Toshinori asked after a while of stargazing, turning his eyes down to the boy beside him.

“…Not so good,” Midoirya admitted. That was a good sign. “I…it was different. Seeing someone being alive seconds ago compared to when they were already dead…I didn’t know it could be this different.”

“Yes,” Toshinori sighed. “But unfortunately, we as Heroes will encounter many more deaths from here on out. Be it your allies, ordinary civilians, or Villains, there will always be times where you can’t save anyone.”

“I know.” Midoriya’s hands curled into fists on his lap. “I’ll get used to it.”

“I’m not saying you need to get used to it.” Toshinori raised his hand and gently ruffled the boy’s head, causing the boy to panic with a flush on his face. “If anything, death is something you should never get used to, young Midoriya. Once you become accustomed to death, you will cease to see the value in living, and that is very dangerous. Our job isn’t to get used to death. Our job is to save lives and prevent deaths, remember that, young Midoriya.”

Midoriya stared at Toshinori with wide eyes before he smiled and nodded.

“Yes!”

They spoke for another hour before Toshinori let the boy go. Midoriya looked like he was going to fall asleep at any moment and that was exactly what the adult wanted. With the boy so exhausted, he wouldn’t have time to think of other things. Hopefully, he could also have a dreamless sleep, though Toshinori knew the chances of that would be slim. No matter how tired the boy may be, the moment he was alone, he will involuntarily remember some unpleasant things.

When Toshinori walked Midoriya back to his dorm, the door opened before either of them could, revealing a tired Todoroki who also looked like he could fall asleep at any moment.

“Midoriya, you’re back.”

“Todoroki-kun! I thought you went to sleep already.”

“I was waiting for you to come back,” Todoroki replied, letting out a small yawn as he did so.

Seeing this, Toshinori smiled. It seemed that his worry was unnecessary. These children were growing and maturing faster than anyone else.

He has no doubt that all of them will become great Heroes.

“I will be going back. Good night you two,” he said before covering his mouth and let out a couple of light coughs. He was turning to leave when Midoriya called out to him.

“All Might!”

“Hm?”

“I…” Midoriya had a complicated look on his face before he smiled and shook his head. “It’s nothing. Thank you, All Might!”

Toshinori nodded and with a wave, he left.

Midoriya watched his mentor leave while Todoroki had already retreated into their room. He couldn’t help but stare after the fragile back of the man that was once the strongest Hero of all. The memory of Yosano’s power and how she healed Jirou flickered through his mind.

What if...

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The next morning, the students were woken at the first peak of dawn. They gathered in the field outside, all of them half asleep with Aizawa and Toshinori checking out names to make sure they were all there.

“Sensei,” Todoroki greeted the two teachers when he joined the group. The two teachers immediately noticed his missing roommate.

“Young Todoroki, where’s young Midoriya?” Toshinori asked with worry laced in his voice.

“Midoriya said he will head out first and meet us at the Uzumaki Café,” Todoroki replied.

“I see…” Toshinori wondered if Midoriya was still affected by what happened last night and couldn’t sleep.

Understanding this, neither of the two teachers questioned it and let it go. When the rest of the students arrived, they set forth towards Uzumaki Café.

Like Todoroki had said, Midoriya was already at the café waiting for them. The boy greeted them with a smile, but Toshinori could keenly tell that the smile was strained. Toshinori wanted to go up and ask the boy what was wrong, but he couldn’t do that with all the other students around, so he decided to find some time later.

Once they finished their breakfast, they headed upstairs to the Armed Detective Agency office.

When they opened the door, they were greeted by the sight of three people seeming to be in a heated argument.

There was Kunikida whose back was facing the group, yelling at Tanizaki and a raven-haired girl in sailor uniform.

“—didn’t I tell you to stay home for the rest of the week?!” Kunikida sounded extremely stressed.

“But I missed my brother!” The girl whined, latching tighter onto Tanizaki’s arm with the other stiffening even further. “You only said for the first three days!”

“There was a change in the situation.” Kunikida gritted out in irritation. “Either way, just hurry and leave before—”

“Oh!” The girl leaned out from behind Kunikida so she could get a good look at the guests by the doorway. “You guys must be the Heroes!”

Kunikida jolted at this. Very stiffly and robotically, he turned to see the U.A students and teachers all standing there, staring at them.

“Um, hello?” Toshinori greeted the girl who seemed to be a high schooler.

“Hello, I’m Tanizaki Naomi, a part-time worker at the office!” The girl greeted them cheerfully, tugging the older Tanizaki along and walked over to them

“Tanizaki? Then you are—”

“That’s right!” Naomi beamed, not even waiting for Yaoyorozu to finish. Then—in front of all of them—the girl pressed her body against Tanizaki’s side with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around the boy’s arm sliding underneath his shirt.

“I’m his s-i-s-t-e-r~”

The group only felt a gust of wind before the two Tanizakis were gone, thrown into a storage room at the far back of the office before Kunikida slammed the door shut.

Class 1-A were dumbfounded.

Toshinori was dumbfounded.

Aizawa’s eyelids were twitching.

Mineta was at the back of the room, mumbling incest over and over with heavy pants and drools trickling down his chin.

“Ahem!” Kunikida coughed loudly into his hand. “The President is waiting for you in his office, come with me.”

Pretending as if nothing had happened, Kunikida led the group out of the office and down the hallway. It turned out that the President’s office was in another room on the other side of the hall.

“President, I’ve brought the U.A students and teachers.” Kunikida informed the man inside with a small bow.

When they walked into the President’s office, they saw Fukuzawa sitting behind his desk with Haruno standing next to him.

“Thank you.” Fukuzawa set down the cup of tea he had been drinking to look up to the group.

With another light bow, Kunikida walked away, gently closing the door behind him when he left.

“I trust that you remembered our conversation from the previous night,” Fukuzawa said, sharp eyes trailing to the children, then to the teachers. He reached into his drawer, pulling out a white envelope and placed it onto his desk. “For today’s assignment, your students will not be observing us. They are to go to another detective firm to study under the detective there.”

“Another detective firm?” Iida gasped in bewilderment. How many detective firms were there in Yokohama?!

“Another detective firm?” Aizawa swiftly caught onto what the man was implying. “So you’re saying today’s plan is given by the Port Mafia.”

That made all the kids stiffened and eyed the man sitting in front of them with cautiousness.

“This was given to me prior to your arrival,” Fukuzawa explained, and everyone instantly understood the meaning of his words.

Before, the Armed Detective Agency President had no plans of keeping them around, so he didn’t give them the letter. Now that the Agency decided to let them stay, they will not only be following the Armed Detective Agency’s agenda, but also the Port Mafia’s.

“Where is this other detective firm?” Toshinori questioned.

“Tanizaki-kun will take you there. Once you give this letter to the other detective, they will accept you.”

“You mean they don’t know we’ll be coming?” Sero asked, but Fukuzawa didn’t respond and turned to the teachers.

Aizawa stepped forward and picked up the white envelope. He stared at the blank front that didn’t state any addresses or name. He turned the envelope around and saw nothing written on the back either. The only thing on the envelope was that familiar scarlet wax seal Aizawa had seen before.

“There will be no issue if I accompany them, will there?” the raven-haired man questioned.

“That will be up to the other detective,” Fukuzawa replied.

“Who is this other detective? Is he an Ability user?”

“You will find that out once you arrive.”

Knowing they won’t get any more information from the man, the U.A group left the President’s office. When they came back out into the hallway, Tanizaki was already there waiting for them. His sister was nowhere to be seen, much to the relief of many and the disappointment of one.

As if agreed upon beforehand, none of them commented on what happened back in the office.

“I’ll take you to your destination,” Tanizaki told them. For someone who was seen getting touched by his own sister, he didn’t seem awkward in the slightest bit.

“Take care, all of you.” Toshinori looked to the group, giving a last glance to Midoriya before he headed back into the Armed Detective Agency office while Tanizaki led the students and Aizawa away.

Back in the office, Kunikida was already back on his desk working away with some other secretaries helping him out. Strangely, none of the other staff were around.

“Kunikida-san, is Yosano-san around?” Toshinori hesitantly called out to the busy looking man.

“I’m here,” a voice answered before Kunikida could open his mouth to speak.

Toshinori looked up to see Yosano walking out from a room.

“Come in,” she told him and walked back in without looking back. Toshinori followed after her and found that this room was the infirmary.

Yosano sat down by her desk that was filled with papers. She seemed to be looking through them before calling Toshinori over.

When the blond walked close enough, he found that all these papers were information of his students.

“These were given to us by the Port Mafia. It seemed that your school’s principal was the one who provided them.” Yosano explained when she noticed where his gaze was lingering. “Now that you’re staying, I will need to perform my job.”

“I see…” Toshinori took a seat onto the extra chair. He stared at the files on the doctor’s table, then to the doctor herself. “Yosano-san, were you once part of the Port Mafia?”

Yosano’s eyes shifted to the blond.

“Fourteen years ago, you were the one that healed me, weren’t you?” Although it was a question, Toshinori was already certain of this. From his short time here, he could already tell that the Armed Detective Agency has a high position within Yokohama. The story about the cannibalizing Ability yesterday proved as much with the enemy trying to pit them and the Port Mafia against one another.

If the Port Mafia had such a healer, they wouldn’t have used the favour the Armed Detective Agency owed them for outsiders like them. This could only mean that Yosano’s Ability was one of a kind even in this city of Ability users.

Yosano smirked and tossed the paper in her hand aside. “Yes, I was the one who healed you. But,” her smile dropped to a frown, “I was never part of the Port Mafia.”

There was an edge to her voice when she said that last part. Toshinori didn’t know what this woman’s relationship was to the criminal organization, but he knew it wasn’t his place to ask. He dipped his head low and expressed his gratitude.

“Thank you for saving me.”

“You shouldn’t thank me. The only reason they blasted you into bits was because I could heal you. Otherwise, they might have used a gentler method.”

“Even so, you’ve saved my life.”

“I suppose.” Yosano leaned back into her seat and crossed her right leg over her left. “Is that all you came here to tell me?”

“Yes?” Toshinori stared at her, wondering what else he was supposed to talk about.

Seeing his confusion, Yosano chuckled. “Your student dropped by today. That one you gave your power to.”

“You heard from Ranpo?” Toshinori asked. After all, Ranpo was the only one who knew about his power.

“No,” Yosano tapped her fingers over the files of his students. “A Quirkless boy who suddenly gained a Quirk and arrived at U.A High School the same time as you…I don’t need deduction power to piece such simple facts together.”

“You could tell just from that?” Toshinori’s eyes rounded in astonishment.

“Your powers are the same, I’d be blind if I couldn’t tell.” The way the woman so easily pointed this out made All Might a bit uncomfortable. Was it that obvious? “That student of yours dropped by in the Agency early in the morning and sat outside the door. He was lucky I had to come in early today, or he would have waited another half an hour for Kunikida.”

Yosano said while pulling out Midoriya’s file.

“The boy asked me to heal you.”

“Young Midoriya?” Toshinori’s eyes widened in surprise.

Yosano took in his shocked expression before her eyes fell to the boy’s picture stapled on the top of his file.

“Yosano-san,” Midoriya stood in front of the woman nervously. He tried to calm his rapidly beating heart and steeled himself. “I want to ask…your power…is there a limit?”

“I’ve told all of you last night,” the doctor continued to sort out the papers on her desk and separate them into different files. “My Ability is capable of healing anyone a hundred percent.”

“Then…can you please help All Might?”

Yosano looked at the nervous boy for a long moment before she fully turned around in her chair to face him.

“Did he ask you to come ask me?”

“Eh? No! He didn’t!” Midoriya quickly replied. “I came on my own accord.”

“In that case, what makes you think I would agree?” Yosano leaned back against her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. “The person who needed healing didn’t come to me, why should I listen to your request?”

“That’s…!” Midoriya was completely taken back by the woman’s response. He may have expected many things, but it certainly wasn’t this. “I…because I know that All Might would never ask you to heal him.”

“All the more reason I can’t agree to it then.”

“But All Might’s—!” Midoriya’ gritted his teeth upon remembering how All Might no longer have One for All. “All Might may not last much longer…please, I’m begging you!”

The teen bowed his head low.

The doctor stared at the top of the boy’s messy green hair before heaving out a small sigh.

“In your world, I’m sure my power would be considered a miracle.” She said softly, yet her gaze was unwavering, locking together with Midoriya’s. “If so, then you should treat it as a miracle and understand that miracles do not occur to everyone.”

Midoriya knew it was a clear rejection, but he couldn't understand why. The doctor in front of him was fully capable of saving All Might, so why? Why couldn’t she heal him? He didn’t want to give up. He couldn’t—not when the solution was right in front of his eyes.

“Nothing you say will change my mind,” Yosano stated when the boy tried to open his mouth again. She turned back to her work and resumed sorting out the files. “If you can’t understand, then you should use your head and think a little.”

“I can’t heal you,” Yosano told Toshinori while staring directly into his eyes. “You know why, don’t you?”

“Of course.” Toshinori nodded slowly.

Of course he understood.

The reason was simple—because this was Yokohama, not their world.

If he, someone who was always in the eyes of the world, suddenly made a full recovery, many people would question it. Once they do, they will try to find the source behind his recovery. The Japanese government will be the first to find out that they have gone to Yokohama—proving there was a power within Yokohama that can fully recover a person regardless of how deadly their condition was.

In Yosano’s case, the worse condition her patient was in, the better.

This would become a revolutionary discovery in the medical field.

Countries, Villains, and even Heroes would find ways to get into Yokohama. Anyone with a dying loved one will try and find ways to venture into Yokohama in hopes of finding a miracle.

It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that an all-out war could happen between Yokohama and the world—all for the sake of one person’s power.

“You and Aizawa Shouta are the only ones I cannot heal,” Yosano told the blond sternly. “The two of you have been in the Hero career for a long time, it’s natural for your body to accumulate injuries and scars. If any of these were to suddenly disappear, it would cause suspicion. The Port Mafia has guaranteed that your students wouldn’t be harmed. Surely you understand where I’m getting at.”

Toshinori’s hands that were laced together on his knees tightened.

In other words, he and Aizawa were the only ones the Port Mafia wouldn’t protect. They won’t purposely endanger them, but the Port Mafia also wouldn’t help them if they got involved in anything dangerous. They only guaranteed the children’s protection, not the two Pro Heroes.

“Thank you very much, Yosano-san.”

“If there’s nothing else, I have work to finish up.” Yosano waved him off and Toshinori left.

As he sat in the office with nothing to do but stared at the view outside the window, he reached into his pocket and pulled out that white business card.

He looked up to the clock on the wall.

7:32 am

There was still plenty of time.

◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥◤◢◣◥

The students looked around, eyes filled with curiosity as they waited by the platform in the subway for the train to come. Unfortunately due to the fact that it was a workday and they were right on time for rush hour, the place was packed.

Thankfully, the Port Mafia had taken such a situation into consideration and organized a private compartment on the very end of the train specifically for them.

The teens either stood or sat in the train, looking around but soon became bored and found the silence a little awkward. It was only a matter of time before one of them spoke up, and Uraraka decided to take the lead. 

“Tanizaki-san.”

Tanizaki looked up from where he was sitting and fiddling on his phone.

“What is the other detective firm like? Is it as big as the Armed Detective Agency?”

“No, that place is only run by one person,” Tanizaki replied.

“What is he like?” Ashido asked curiously.

“He’s—” Tanizaki paused, suddenly looked as though he was going to throw up.

“Are you alright?” Kirishima reached into his bag to hand the older boy a water bottle.

“I’m fine, thanks.” Tanizaki politely rejected the redhead’s offer. “It’s just…some stuff happened when I first met him.”

“What did he do?” Kaminari asked, unable to hide his curiosity.

“Ugh...I rather not say,” Tanizaki muttered, face turning green just remembering it. Seeing this, they all dropped the topic, knowing better than to keep prying.

“Since you guys will be staying with us...you should know that from now on you’ll be following the Port Mafia’s plans. You’ll get into more dangerous situations like yesterday.”

“But we’ll be healed right?” Sato pointed out.

“With Yosano-san’s power, we’ll have no problem!” Hagakure cheered.

“...You guys are very optimistic,” Tanizaki noted with mild surprise. He looked around the teenagers and shrunk back a little when he met Aizawa’s sharp gaze. “Well…I suppose that’s a good thing.”

“Tanizaki-san,” Midoriya spoke up, grabbing the older boy’s attention. “When the Armed Detective Agency President was hit by the cannibalizing power…why did you choose to go after the Port Mafia Executive?”

That caught the rest of the students’ attention. They still had lots of questions about that.

“They told you about that?” Tanizaki frowned. “What else were we to do?”

“But wouldn’t that be playing into the enemy’s hand?” Kirishima pointed out.

“You think we don’t know that?” Tanizaki narrowed his eyes towards the other redhead, looking very annoyed by his comment. “Then let me ask you. How in the world do you plan on finding the guy without knowing what he looked like or where he is?”

“But there’s plenty of time, isn’t there?” Yaoyorozu asked. “With Yokohama enclosed, you could easily—”

“Easily?” Tanizaki stared at Iida in disbelieve before he dropped his head into his right hand. His palm spread out across his face, completely hiding his current emotion displayed there. “Aaah, I see…so this is why…”

Everyone stared at Tanizaki, unsure of whether or not they should say anything.

“Do you really think it would be easy to find someone within forty-eight hours?”

“Yes,” Iida replied firmly. “If you try—”

“Try?” Tanizaki pulled his head out of his hand and looked towards the students. “The life of our President was on the line, trying isn’t good enough! Having brute force alone might work in your world, but things like power don’t mean everything in Yokohama!”

“What are you trying to say?!” Bakugou snarled. He wasn’t going to stay quiet if the older boy was going to start insulting them.

Instead of backing down, Tanizaki stood up and met Bakugou’s glare with his own.

And in terms of who was winning by being the scariest in this glaring contest, Tanizaki was way ahead of Bakugou. Right now, he looked nothing like the meek person from before.

If Midoriya had to find a way to describe the feeling Tanizaki was giving off right now, it was similar to Yosano when she got out of the car last night.

“You don’t know anything! Don’t talk as if it’s something that easy! You think we don’t know we’re being set up? What other choice do we have?! I don't care who I have to kill as long as it means saving the President!”

That last statement took all of them back. They stared at the boy with rounded eyes, unable to believe what they had heard. Even Aizawa, who had been quiet the entire time, frowned.

After a moment of silence and seeing how none of the children planned on speaking up, Tanizaki sat back in his seat and pulled out his phone.

No one talked for the rest of the ride.

Their journey took about an hour. When they got out of the subway, Tanizaki didn’t look angry anymore. But even so, none of them speak up. His last words still rang clearly inside their heads, causing them to maintain a distance between them and the older boy.

“From here on out, none of you speak.” Tanizaki suddenly said, turning to the group. “And walk closer behind me.”

“Why?” Tokoyami asked, feeling the tension spilling from the detective.

“I will activate my Ability to make all of us invisible.”

“What’s going on?” Aizawa frowned. It almost sounded like the boy was suggesting they sneak into the other detective firm.

“If we get noticed, we’ll be sniped by snipers.”

“Snipers?!” Aoyama shrieked.

“Ability…”

“Wait—!”

“Light snow!”

The students looked around as familiar green light surrounded them with gentle light particles floating down from the sky.

“Are we…invisible now?” Uraraka looked down at her hands and body, then to her classmates. There didn’t seem to be any differences.

“Yeah…stick close to me. Careful not to run into any people on your way, since none of them will be able to see you.”

With that, Tanizaki walked off with Class 1-A and their homeroom teacher close behind him. Fortunately, the street in this area was less crowded than the streets near the Armed Detective Agency. The further they walked, the less people there were.

While following Tanizaki, the kids spent most of their time looking around, trying to find these snipers the other warned them of. As much as they wanted to ask more questions, Tanizaki had told them not to speak so they could only keep their mouths shut.

“We’re here,” Tanizaki spoke quietly under his breath.

They looked up and were all shocked by the building this other detective firm was supposedly in.

Rundown was an understatement of the century to describe this building.

If Tanizaki didn’t bring them here, they would have all thought it was some empty building waiting to be demolished. The walls looked extremely worned out and some of the windows were even cracked.

Tanizaki grabbed the handle of the front door and pulled it open. The moment the door swung open, everyone saw an overlapping image of two identical doors—one being opened by Tanizaki, the other remaining close and blocking their path. In a flicker of green light, the door that was still closed vanished.

“Come on!” Tanizaki waved his hand, gesturing for them to get in.

The students did as told, but Aizawa remained still. Although he didn’t show it on his face, he was still in shock from what he had seen. The boy had created a fake image of the door showing that it was closed while the real one already opened.

To anyone walking by, Aizawa was certain that all they’ll see was an ordinary building without anything happening. From the fact that they had to avoid being seen going into this building meant that these snipers the boy mentioned were watching over this building.

Aizawa already knew how powerful this boy’s illusion power was—or so he thought.

This...everything that is happening before his eyes completely overthrew the definition of powerful. It wasn’t something that could be described with simple words anymore. If there were snipers surrounding this building and watching it, then the front door would definitely be something they would keep their eyes on.

To completely replicate the image of the door down to the finest detail so that even the people staring at it wouldn’t even have noticed that the door was a fake...it wasn’t a simple matter of illusion anymore.

Aizawa walked forward when he saw the last of his students going inside.

Gigantic dragon that took over an entire city.

Gravity that could lift an entire skyscraper,

Illusions where experts can’t tell apart reality and perception.

Healer that can provide instant recovery without any drawbacks.

Exactly how many of these monsters were living in Yokohama?

If these people were to become their enemies...would Japan stand a chance?

After they walked through the door, Tanizaki led them up a short flight of stairs to the back of the building and stopped in front of a pair of wooden doors with a sign on the side that said, Ayatsuji Detective Agency.

“Ugh…” Tanizaki froze in front of the doors. Anyone could tell that he was sweating and deciding on whether or not to open it.

“What are you chickening out for?” Bakugou snorted, but Tanizaki either didn’t hear him or just decided to ignore him.

Taking a deep breath, Tanizaki pressed his hands upon the pair of doors and pushed. Like before, they all saw an image of another set of closed doors appearing and disappearing a split second later.

They nervously stared at the doors, watching the gap between the doors grow bigger and bigger with light pouring out.

When Tanizaki fully opened the doors, the students were welcomed by the sight of a finely decorated office that looked nothing like the rundown exterior. Compared to the Armed Detective Agency that looked like a standard office, this detective firm was extremely well decorated with a vintage feel to it. The office space was huge with the floor covered in red carpet and large windows allowing the morning sunlight to bring warmth into the room.

When they peered inside, the first thing all of their eyes landed on was a blond man sitting behind the mahogany desk.

The man looked very young—around late twenties—wearing a black cap and a pair of lightly shaded glasses. He was holding a newspaper in his right hand while his left hand held a pipe with smoke rising out of it.

He blew out a breath of smoke and tapped his pipe against a glass ashtray.

“Come in.” He suddenly said, causing everyone to jump—Tanizaki included.

“H-he can see us?” Ashido whispered.

“But Tanizaki-san’s power is still active.” Asui pointed out, gesturing to the green light still shrouding them.

“Come on, go inside.” Tanizaki hurriedly ushered them in. Once the door closed behind them, Tanizaki dropped his Ability and revealed them to the blond.

The man simply raised an eye to look at them before setting his pipe down. “Ah, Tanizaki-kun. It has certainly been a while. I was wondering when you’d come back so we may continue where we left off.”

“Urk…!” Tanizaki hastily took a couple of steps back and hid behind the tallest kid in the class which was Shouji.

“Just joking,” the man said, his tone apathetic and unchanging. It was hard for anyone to tell whether he was joking or not.

“How did you know we’re here?” Tanizaki asked cautiously.

“Because there’s only half an hour left before the guard dog arrives. If you were to come, then it would be this time.” He folded the newspaper, his eyes lazily sweeping over the children before landing on Aizawa. Without saying a word, he held out a hand, as if waiting for something to be handed to him.

Seeing this, Aizawa walked forward while taking out the letter Fukuzawa had given them. “I’m Aizawa Shouta, the homeroom teacher of U.A High School Class 1-A. We were told to come to your office and give you this letter.”

“I know who you are,” the blond said, taking the letter offered to him. He flipped the letter around, taking one look at the wax seal before he ripped the letter right down the middle.

“W-what are you doing?!” Iida shouted, but the man didn’t seem to hear and proceeded to further rip the letter into smaller pieces.

“Is it alright not to read it?” Yaoyorozu asked worriedly.

“What’s there to read?” The man questioned back, voice still devoid of any emotions. He dumped the remains of the letter onto his desk. “It’s a blank letter.”

“What?” Midoriya stared at the letter in surprise. He took a closer look at the paper shreds and realized that there wasn’t a single word on it.

It was all white.

A blank letter, but why?

Aizawa turned to look at Tanizaki who was frantically shaking his head.

“I don’t know anything!” He spluttered.

“There’s no point in looking at him, Hero.” The blond man flicked the last piece of paper onto the pile he created. “The sender of this letter knew I’d know what they want me to do when I see you and know that I will follow through with their plans. In that case, is there a point in writing out anything?”

“Wait, so you knew we were coming and who we are?” Kirishima asked, unable to wrap his head around what the man had said.

“It’s not hard to guess.” The man picked up his pipe. “With the Selection War starting, it’s only natural that you would come into Yokohama.”

“What are you talking about?” Aizawa asked, eyes narrowing.

“Do you really think it’s a coincidence that you would come into Yokohama at a time like this?” The man looked calmly towards them. “The fall of the No.1 Hero and All for One. The League of Villains. The Selection War. Your arrival to this city was planned a long time ago.”

The man’s gaze shifted and Midoriya froze when their eyes met. “Welcome to Yokohama, ninth generation.”

Midoriya felt all the blood drained from his body. While his classmates had no idea what the man was talking about, he alone understood the meaning behind those two words.

Ninth generation.

There was no mistake…this man knew about his power! Not just him, but also All Might!

But how?

How did someone in Yokohama know about One for All?!

“But...I thought principal Nedzu planned this trip for us. What does all that have to do with anything?” Kirishima asked.

“I’m sure your principal also believed that he planned this, not the other way around,” the blond said almost sarcastically. “And the only way your world would feel safe letting you into a city filled with criminals would be the Port Mafia guaranteeing the safety of the young future Heroes. However, if they made such promises without a condition, it would raise suspicion. ” He looked over to the kids, ignoring the teacher’s darkening glaze.

“Therefore, your agreement must be this: as long as you don’t use your Quirks within Yokohama, your safety will be guaranteed.”

If the children were surprised before, what the blond said made them all calm back down. The reason was simple. There was no way anyone could make such an accurate guess, or can predict the future like the blond had done.

This could only mean one thing...

“You heard all of these from the Port Mafia, didn’t you?” Hagakure said with full certainty.

“That’s right! Don’t scare us like that!” Aoyama announced while making a pose.

The other students joined in, all of them agreeing that this was all staged. The Port Mafia must have told this man everything about them. The only other way this man could have known was if he had the power to see into the future which they were certain he didn’t. If he had such power, why didn’t he just say it instead of pretending to guess everything?

The fact that the letter they delivered was blank proved that the Port Mafia planned all of this. As for why the Port Mafia would do something so pointless, no one bothered thinking about it because they couldn’t think of any better reasoning.

Midoriya thought so as well, guessing that the Port Mafia must have been the one to tell this detective about One for All. If they weren’t on an assignment, he would have ran all the way back to the Armed Detective Agency to inform his mentor about this.

How did the Port Mafia know about One for All?

Did it have anything to do with All for One?

No one saw how Midoriya had hid his mouth behind his hand and began a string of incoherent mutterings.

Standing at the very front, Aizawa more or less shared the same idea with his students. This could only be another one of the Port Mafia’s plans. The question was, what were they trying to achieve by doing this?

What did the fall of All Might and All for One, along with the League of Villains, have to do with anything?

The longer he stayed in this city, the more questions he had, but Aizawa didn’t voice them out loud. He highly doubted this man would tell them anything. Aizawa didn’t know whether or not this man was part of the Port Mafia, but as of right now, this man was working for them much like the Armed Detective Agency.

The man didn’t respond to them right away. He took a long sip of his pipe and slowly breathed out a trail of smoke.

After a whole minute, he finally spoke. “Good grief, your brains are like casu marzu.” 

“Casu...marzu?” Uraraka echoed in confusion. The teenagers looked at each other, none of them having any idea what the man was talking about.

At the back of the group, Tanizaki pulled out his smartphone. He typed in the words and showed the result to the kids.

Half of their faces turned green when they saw what casu marzu was and what it looked like.

“WHAT THE HELL?! ISN’T IT CRAWLING WITH MAGGOTS?!” Bakugou exploded with steam bursting from his burning face. “ARE YOU SAYING OUR BRAINS ARE FILLED WITHS MAGGOTS?!”

“I can’t believe how this is possible. Even my maid is more adequate than you.” The blond clicked his tongue and tapped his pipe sharply against the ashtray. “Perhaps I should give her some credits for not being utterly hopeless like you lot.”

“Um...I think he’s saying that your brains are rotten.” Tanizaki supplied helpfully, checking the definition on his phone. “Casu marzu means rotten cheese.”

“ROTTEN?!”

“Thank you, Tanizaki-kun.” The blond nodded towards the other detective who didn’t feel like he was thanked at all. Tanizaki had a feeling that the man included him in some of those insults. “How the outside world hasn’t been taken over yet is beyond a miracle. The only thing I can say is that your Villains must have milbenkase for brains.”

All at once, the students and their teacher glanced at Tanizaki expectantly.

Slumping his shoulders, the Armed Detective Agency member typed in the word and turned his phone around to show them.

“Isn’t this the same damn thing?” Bakugou huffed upon seeing another disgusting image of cheese swarming with bugs. “So what, you’re saying that all of our brains are rotten? Is that it?!”

“If that’s how you perceived it, then yours doesn’t have anything left inside to rot. Congratulations.”

“DIE!”

“Bakugou!” Kirishima and Sato hurriedly restrained their class’s No.1 before he did anything they would regret later. 

“...I think he’s saying your Villains’ brains are infested with mites. Milbenkase means mite cheese.” Tanizaki once more translated for the poor children.

Completely disregarding Bakugou’s death threats, the detective stood up and walked around his desk.

“Lead the way, Tanizaki-kun.”

“Huh?” Tanizaki gaped. “I have to come along?”

“Where are we going?” Aizawa question. Then he remembered the snipers surrounding this building. “And the snipers outside, what is going on?”

“Why else do you think you were sent here?” The blond deadpanned, ignoring the teacher and kept his eyes focused on Tanizaki.

“Is it alright to do this...?” Despite asking that, the redhead was already activating his Ability.

The moment Light Snow was activated, the blond was already pushing the door open and strolling out with Tanizaki frantically running after him and the rest of the class following.

Without anyone realizing, the detective within the heavily guarded building vanished without a trace.

Half an hour after their departure, a sleek black car drove up to the building and out walked an elegant woman with turquoise coloured hair.

She pulled off the sunglasses from her face, revealing a pair of sharp and determined eyes. She folded the glasses carefully, tucking it into her pocket and walked towards the building. Behind her, the black car let out a sharp beep, signaling that it had been locked.

The woman walked with her chin held up high in confidence. To ordinary civilians, she would just be a mysterious woman passing by. Only few knew of her true identity within the mysterious city known as Yokohama.

Tsujimura Mizuki—a special agent that worked within Yokohama’s Special Ability Department. She was one of the few elites handpicked by her superiors, and the only one trusted with such an important task.

“Calling support troops, affiliation code 4048,” she spoke to the Bluetooth on her right ear.

“This is snipper support squad one.” A voice responded from the earpiece.

“This is Agent Code 4048 Tsujimura Mizuki. I will begin internal monitoring."

“Understood. We’ll switch to position B3 and continue monitoring the target from the outside.”

After finishing the daily confirmation, Tsujiumura walked into the building and stood before the closed door of the Ayatsuji Detective Agency.

She tugged on her gloves and fixed her suit.

Perfect.

She was right on time.

Not a second too late, not a second too early.

And now, as part of her special agent duty, she will begin to monitor Ayatsuji Yukito—the highest-ranked extremely dangerous Ability user within Yokohama.

“Good morning, Ayatsuji-sensei!” She announced her presence and pushed open the door.

She walked into the room with wide strides, only to stop at the empty chair in front of her. Usually, the man would already be sitting behind his desk by this time with insults readied to throw at her.

“Ayatsuji-sensei?” She called, looking around.

Receiving no answer and her eyes fell to the only place the man could be.

The basement.

When she was about to head down to check, something on the desk caught her eyes.

She walked over, eyes scanning over the things on the desk.

A folded newspaper.

A finished cup of coffee.

An ashtray with ashes.

A pile of shredded paper.

There was nothing out of the ordinary other than the pile of shredded paper.

“What’s this?” Tsujimura picked up some pieces of the paper. They were all blank with nothing on it. When she took a closer look, she saw something at the bottom of the paper pile. It was another piece of paper, though this paper wasn’t completely white so it stood out from the paper shreds.

She pinched her fingers around the corner of the paper and pulled it out. When she saw the finely printed words on the note, her entire body stiffened so much that one could mistake her for a statue from afar.

[I’m heading out first. Do your best to catch up, Tsujimura-kun.]

There was nothing else on this simple piece of note, but the more she read, the more Tsujimura felt like she was going to have a heart attack.

Her target had walked out from under their noses.

Her mind blanked out for a long time before another realization slapped her back to reality.

Her superior was going to kill her.

“AYATSUJI-SENSEI!!!”

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[chouetteffraie]

Dazatsu and 3 for the kiss prompts pleaseeee (maybe w/ drunk Atsushi? lol)

3. Drunk/Sloppy kiss

no problem, dear nonnie! thank you for the ask!

sorry if it’s a bit choppy, I ended up having to write this in a few different sittings so I hope it’s still okay!!

-

Dazai staggered slightly to the side as Atsushi’s disoriented body pushed him, tightening his grip on the boy’s waist. Maybe he shouldn’t have enabled his reckless drinking earlier in the evening. Had he known he would’ve been put in charge of the boy, he would’ve bailed out of there sooner and left Kunikida to take care of Atsushi.

At least, that’s what he told himself time after time on this familiar walk back to the dorms with Atsushi at his side. Most of the time, though, Atsushi wasn’t inebriated and Dazai didn’t have to suffer through the walk supporting his weight, feeling his warmth seep into his side, hearing his occasional drunk giggle when he saw something amusing…

He both couldn’t wait for and dreaded the drop off at the dorms. With Atsushi at his side, he always craved an extra touch, a sweet smile, more contact. However, once he watched Atsushi close his door and disappear for the night, Dazai knew he’d be itching to have that warmth back at his side.

“Dazai-san,” Atsushi called as they neared the dorm. “I hope I’m not…too much of a bother to take home.” Atsushi was talking much too loudly, but it was endearing to see he was worried about Dazai when he was drunk. 

“You handle your alcohol pretty well,” Dazai answered. “You’re just a little loopy, so I decided to escort you home. Better safe than sorry, right?”

Atsushi sighed a contented sigh. “Dazai-san takes such good care of me.”

That was it. It didn’t matter how much Dazai would miss having Atsushi next to him, he needed to get rid of the enticing boy at his side before he lost control and strained their relationship even more than he already has. He watched anxiously as Atsushi fumbled with his keys, staring at the doorknob with such intense concentration Dazai almost laughed at him. After a few more moments, he reached out for the keys to do it himself.

“Here, let me-” he started, faltering when his fingers brushed across Atsushi’s hand. None the wiser, Atsushi smiled at Dazai and thanked him, chuckling when Dazai blushed and ducked his head. Finally, the door opened and Dazai held the keys out to Atsushi, asking, “Will you be able to do the rest on your own? You look…unsteady on your feet.”

“Absolutely,” Atsushi answered with the determination that sparked in his eyes right before he faced off with Akutagawa. He stepped forward, ignoring the keys in Dazai’s hand, and brushed roughly against his doorframe. “Ouch.”

Theoretically, he could leave Atsushi to figure this out on his own. He’d probably just crash to the bed and fall asleep in his clothes, waking up with a mild hangover if any and things would be back to normal. But for a moment, as Atsushi gripped the doorframe he just ran into, staring into the darkness of his dorm with uncertainty, Dazai knew he’d feel horrible for leaving him to deal with this new vulnerability on his own. After all, Atsushi never left him when he crossed a line he never should’ve crossed. What kind of mentor- what kind of friend- would he be if he abandoned him now?

Sighing, Dazai grabbed Atsushi’s arm and placed it back over his shoulders, leading him into the small apartment. Atsushi’s dorm was much cleaner and easier to navigate than his own, Dazai noted, tossing Atsushi’s keys on the first table he saw. Carefully, watching Atsushi’s stumbling feet and ignoring the muttered “ah, sorry”s he got when Atsushi tripped, Dazai guided him to his bedroom and stopped at the door.

“You get dressed for bed. I’ll be right back,” Dazai instructed. Atsushi smiled and nodded, closing the bedroom door between them. For a moment Dazai stood there, staring at the wood in front of him as if he was in a trance until he heard soft rustling and realized he was listening to Atsushi undress. Shaking his head, he took his time walking back to the kitchen and sorting through the glasses.

When he returned, he knocked on the door, listening to a few sounds of struggle before Atsusi called, “Come in!” Sliding open the door, Dazai chuckled wryly at his cruel fate. Atsushi sat on the edge of his bed, fumbling with the buttons of his bedshirt. His wrinkled forehead and pouting lips only made him look cuter as he tried to figure out the clothes, and when he gave up and look at Dazai for help, Dazai felt his fingers twitch, itching to either fix Atsusi’s ruffled hair or mess it up some more. 

Instead, Dazai set the glass of water on the table and motioned for Atsushi to straighten out, kneeling in front of him to fix his shirt. However, dressing him properly meant undressing him first, a task Dazai wasn’t sure he can handle. As he meticulously fixed the misplaced buttons, he zeroed in on the garment to prevent his face from flushing and to keep Atsushi from getting uncomfortable. Once he was done, he stole a glance at Atsushi, whose gaze was fixated on him.

“You know,” Atsushi started. “It was nice talking to you today. I feel like lately, you’ve been avoiding me.”

Dazai didn’t answer and drew his hands back, which had been hovering in the space between them uselessly. Before he could pull them back completely, Atsushi reached and grabbed both of them, his hands warm and soft. “Have you been avoiding me?” He asked, voice vulnerable and shaky. Dazai was worried if he told the truth, he’d burst into tears.

So he lied. “Of course not, Atsushi-kun,” He responded.

“I thought maybe you were just stressed or busy, but-”

“I’m not avoiding you,” Dazai interrupted sternly. God, none of this was because of him. Yet of course, he figured he was the problem, and now he was blaming himself for Dazai’s own selfishness. “If I was avoiding you, would I have brought you home?”

Atsushi answered with a question, one that made Dazai freeze for a moment. “It’s because of the kiss, isn’t it?”

The kiss, Dazai thought, of course. The time I stole what should’ve been one of your most precious memories. The time I stumbled through my own life and made you stumble with me. Of course it’s because of that, Atsushi. I don’t want to take control of your life to ease my own stupid fears.

Atsushi took Dazai’s silence for affirmation. “Did you…not like it?” He asked, voice small and scared, as if he were afraid the answer might be no.

Dazai sighed and stood, slipping his hands away from Atsushi’s and tucking them in his pockets. He should answer honestly, tell Atsushi the truth. And yet…despite knowing of Atsushi’s growing crush for months, despite having almost confirmation that Atsushi enjoyed their last rendezvous, it was so much easier to hide in his shell and tuck his feelings away where there was no risk of them shattering. Instead, he asked, “Did you?”

Atsushi wasn’t like him. He was openly emotional, and the alcohol coursing through his veins made him particularly bold. “Yes.”

“You don’t need to flatter me, Atsushi-kun. I should have never taken your first kiss away from you.” 

Atsushi stared at Dazai, an interesting mixture of anger and confusion swimming in his eyes as he tried to figure out what to say. Dazai tried looking back, until the scrutiny made his skin crawl and he turned his head away. 

“Dazai-san, you never took anything. I wanted you to be my first kiss,” Atsushi admitted, a blush creeping up on his cheeks. Whether it was from embarrassment or alcohol, Dazai didn’t know, but the tint in his own cheeks only had one explanation.

Dazai had a million things he wanted to say- you shouldn’t be so generous with me, I’m a selfish man and I’ll take everything out of you, or there’s so much more you can do and see, so many other people you can meet, or, an especially loud thought, don’t let me taint you, yet every protest he had died on his tongue.

Two hands grabbed Dazai’s suit jacket as Atsushi stood up, a new ferocity gleaming in his eyes. “I gave you that kiss, Dazai-san, and I’d like to give you another one,” He proclaimed. There was a flash of pride spreading across his features, as if he thought he was some smooth Romeo, and he gave Dazai a smile that was hard to reject.

So he didn’t.

He cupped Atsushi’s cheek in one hand, relishing in the warmth and the fire it sent spreading across his palm, and slowly leaned in. When there was barely no space between them, Dazai paused, asking silently if this was alright. He didn’t want to mess up again, though he was sure if he asked out loud, they might have brushed lips anyway. Atsushi, who had already allowed his eyes to flutter shut, opened them quickly and pouted before yanking Dazai closer by the jacket.

This was only Atsushi’s second kiss, and he was significantly less coordinated than he would be any other time. Their lips fit together almost uncomfortably, not quite sealing the way they ought to, and yet Dazai found no issue with it. Atsushi was moving his lips enthusiastically against Dazai’s, and he found it difficult not to match his fervor. After he had caused such tension for the boy over the past week dealing with his own doubts, it was only fair, right?

Atsushi was the first to pull away, oblivious to any mistakes he may have made and instead focusing on nuzzling into Dazai’s hand. He placed a few soft kisses on the palm, either forgetting about the bandages or simply not caring about them. The gesture made Dazai’s heart clench, and he found himself wanting to lean in again.

“Would it be selfish to ask for one more?” He asked, stroking Atsushi’s cheek with his thumb idly.

“If it is, you can be as selfish as you’d like with me.”

Atsushi really did spoil him, didn’t he?

[musicprincess655]

Fukuzawa shoots a police officer a disdainful look on the way home from the grocery store. The officer doesn’t pay him any attention. Because really, what can Fukuzawa Yukichi do at this point?

Hopefully, more than they think. Fukuzawa doesn’t know who this Akutagawa is, sending him messages through robots cleverly disguised as rats, but he saved Atsushi from No. 6, and that is reason enough for Fukuzawa to listen to him.

Not that Fukuzawa agrees with the idea that No. 6 should burn, but he’s within the walls, and Akutagawa isn’t. Akutagawa just sees the city, but Fukuzawa has learned the difference between the city and the people.

Maybe the city deserves to burn to ash, but there are too many people here who don’t. Easy as it would be to only hate it, the world doesn’t exist in black and white.

Fukuzawa hasn’t told the rest of the detective agency that Atsushi is alive. It’s a danger for them. He knows that Ranpo knows anyway, and if Ranpo knows, so does Poe. Yosano and Kunikida, the Tanizaki siblings, none of the rest of them suspect. Sometimes Fukuzawa feels guilty for keeping it from them, especially when he sees one of the siblings turn to look for a reaction that isn’t there anymore, or when Kunikida grumbles harder into the paperwork that used to be Atsushi’s, but he still values protecting them over telling them the truth.

“Did you see the police officer at the end of the street?” Kunikida asks as soon as Fukuzawa walks in. Fukuzawa nods. “And the one watching the building?”

That one, Fukuzawa missed. Kunikida just nods once, staring out the window in what could almost pass as brooding.

“There’s more than usual, aren’t there?” Tanizaki asks, shrinking into his desk like it’ll protect him.

“I don’t know what they think they’ll find by sniffing around here,” Kunikida says. “We’re a perfectly legitimate business. We have our permits.”

Perhaps they’re onto the way Fukuzawa has been scheming with Akutagawa, somehow. Or maybe, between Dazai and Atsushi, this detective agency has attracted just a little too much attention. Or maybe this has nothing to do with the agency. But that begs the question: what else is No. 6 looking for?

There’s been more police presence in the Lost Town for at least a month. Everyone in the agency is aware of it. No one knows why.

They’re not investigating crimes. The agency still has the same amount of work that they’ve always had. So if it’s not to crack down on crime, is it an intimidation game? Who do they think they need to intimidate?

Fukuzawa tried to point Ranpo at the problem, but Ranpo is much better suited to puzzles than games of intrigue. This kind of problem takes patience, and the ability to watch over time and learn, and Ranpo has neither of those qualities.

Tanizaki and Kunikida together have done better at watching, but neither of them knows why there are suddenly more police officers. Their only theory is that, as No. 6 prepares to celebrate the anniversary of its founding, they want to keep the streets as clean as possible. Fukuzawa supposes that it is a bigger anniversary this time, a centennial, but still, he wonders if that’s really the only reason.

The door opens, and every eye in the room turns to it. Detectives are curious people by nature, and Tanizaki is already moving to make tea for their new client when the person steps through the door and they can all see who it is.

Fukuzawa hasn’t seen Lucy Maud Montgomery in months, but he’d recognize Atsushi’s best friend anywhere.

“Lucy-chan!” Tanizaki crows. He and Lucy were reasonably good friends through Atsushi before Atsushi was lost and Lucy left to join the Guild. “Long time no see. I thought you wouldn’t be back.”

“It’s just a quick stop,” Lucy says. “They said I could leave for a few hours. I wanted to see everyone again.”

Fukuzawa doesn’t need to look to see that Poe has gone pale. This sudden reappearance of the Guild has to be the last thing he wants. Fukuzawa still doesn’t know all the details of what happened to him, what he did, but he does know that Poe has done his level best to distance himself from the Guild, hides in fear at the mention of their name.

And now the monster that haunts his nightmares is so close.

“Where’s Atsushi?” Lucy asks. “I’ve really been looking forward to seeing him again.”

Tanizaki, to his credit, doesn’t look disappointed. Lucy and Atsushi go so far back, it’s hard not to recognize that they’re special to each other.  

“He’s…well…” Tanizaki waffles. Fukuzawa doesn’t think he believes for a second Atsushi is dead, but he does know Atsushi is out of reach. The Correctional Facility isn’t a place anyone comes back from.

“Your boyfriend’s unavailable,” Ranpo says. He’s got his feet propped up on the desk, the very picture of ease. “Maybe you should’ve tried harder to convince him to join the Guild.”

Poe makes a soft noise, and that stops Ranpo before Fukuzawa has to.

“Unavailable?” Lucy asks, looking between Ranpo and Tanizaki. “What does that mean?”

“It means he was taken away to the Security Bureau the day after you left,” Fukuzawa says. He already lost two people. He doesn’t want to lose Lucy, even if she’s not his to lose the way Dazai and Atsushi were.

Lucy’s face goes white. She almost looks like she might faint, but she steps closer to Fukuzawa anyway, looking for the truth of his words in his face. Fukuzawa has nothing to hide from her. The part he told her, at least, was the truth.

“But he’s not dead,” Lucy says after inspecting him carefully. “He’s still alive. You know that.”

Fukuzawa doesn’t have time to worry about who in the room is surprised by that revelation. He’s too focused on Lucy, because while she and Atsushi are very different people, they get the same look in their eyes when they’re about to do something reckless.

“Whatever you’re thinking, don’t,” Fukuzawa says. “You can’t help him.”

“Can’t I?” Lucy asks. “I have powerful friends now. Maybe the only people in the world that will stand up to No. 6. No one else will even try.”

“Wait…”

“If you won’t help him, I will,” Lucy says. She shoots Poe a look over her shoulder. “I don’t understand why you left the Guild. I’m finally free with them.”

“You haven’t seen anything that makes you question them?” Poe asks, stutter barely kept out of his voice. He wasn’t born in No. 6, and sometimes it shows in his speech. “They haven’t asked you to do anything that makes you question them?”

Lucy doesn’t say no.

“It’s still better than here,” she says instead. “I’m going to help him. You just sit here and do nothing.”

Fukuzawa wants to follow her, make sure she doesn’t get into more trouble, but he has a room full of detectives he’s hidden the truth from.

“Atsushi-kun is alive,” Kunikida says, jaw twitching. It’s not a question, but Fukuzawa nods anyway. “And you knew the whole time.”

“Not the whole time,” Fukuzawa says. “A group outside found him. They sent me a message. Atsushi is alive in the West Block.”

Kunikida visibly brings his anger back under his control. Fukuzawa knows his distaste for authority fights with his respect for Fukuzawa himself, and he’s always kind of wondered what would push Kunikida over the edge.

“Atsushi-kun isn’t in the Correctional Facility?” Tanizaki asks. Fukuzawa nods. “At least he’s free. That’s the important thing.”

Tanizaki’s forgiveness is so easy when the matter isn’t Naomi. Fukuzawa isn’t often as grateful for him as he should be.

Fukuzawa looks out the window, trying to make sure Lucy doesn’t run into trouble, but he looks too late.

The police officer that was watching the building has her by the arm, and Lucy is far too small to break away from him.

“Were they waiting for her?” Yosano asks. She’s joined Fukuzawa by the window.

“Maybe,” Fukuzawa says, but he doubts it. If the Guild made such a short stop, it’s unlikely anything was happening to make No. 6 take notice enough to try and intercept an operative.

He turns and leaves.

“Where are you going?” Ranpo asks.

“I might be able to help her,” Fukuzawa says. What he means is, he might know someone who can.

Right on schedule, one of the robotic rats is waiting for him, a message from Akutagawa, and another from Atsushi, who has started adding his own. Fukuzawa doesn’t bother to read them yet, instead writing his own message.

“Lucy was taken by the police,” he writes, small enough that he can fit more on the narrow strip. “She’s in the Correctional Facility. Help her.”

Fukuzawa attaches the message to the rat and sends it on its way.

Maybe Lucy is right, and her powerful friends will be enough to stand up to No. 6. Fukuzawa doubts it, though. They wouldn’t drift around between city-states, stealing from all of them, if they had the power to stand up to them. They’ll probably cut their losses with Lucy, move on, and she will be left here.

But Akutagawa is good enough to break into No. 6, take Atsushi from police custody, and escape back outside the wall. Pairing that with Atsushi’s skills, with how much he’ll want to save Lucy, they could probably make it work together.

Fukuzawa knows there is a very real chance he’s sacrificing Atsushi for Lucy’s sake. Even if they come up with the most brilliant plan, there’s still so much risk in saving her. But if he withheld the information, if he left Lucy to die, would that really be better? Would Atsushi forgive him for that?

Sometimes it’s still hard to forget the tiny child Atsushi was, lost and alone, and see him for the man he’s grown into. He’s still young, but he’s grown enough for Fukuzawa to trust him to make his own decisions, and maybe, someday, they’ll see each other again.

Fukuzawa thinks he’d like to tell Atsushi how proud he is of him again.

[misstinfoilhat]

The Boy in the Belfry, part 14. A Bungou Stray Dogs fic

It was another week before Dazai was lucid and able to stay awake long enough to actually answer a couple of the many questions that Kunikida had written down in his book of Ideals (without scowling at the chair at his bedside and accusing it of judging him- Dazai really didn't react well to being medicated), while Fukuzawa lingered in the back. Ranpo was there too, as an observer and had gotten the task of calling out Dazai if he tried to bluff. Atsushi was there mostly as moral support.

Dazai sat propped up by pillows, wearing a metal back-brace, and his leg had finally been properly dressed in a hard cast. His head was bandaged after a couple of stitches to the back of the head, and Yosano had tried her best to replicate how he wore his other, usual, bandages. 

Old wounds, new wrappings.

Dazai sported his trademark crooked smile as Kunikida stared him down, waiting for the answer to his first question; what the fuck?

Dazai scoffed. "Yeah, I know, right?" 

He rolled his eyes wryly and shrugged his shoulders as mundane as could be. 

"Leave it to Dazai to be kidnapped by an old demented paranoid schizophrenic preacher," Dasai tsk'ed and shook his head in such disappointment of himself.

Dazai's inability to take anything seriously enraged Kunikida more than he could put his words to, but he had to keep his temper under control if he wanted to avoid being kicked out of the room by Dazai's doctors, and keeping his ass from being kicked by Chuuya (or Atsushi for that matter, who was staring at him warningly).

Kunikida's dissatisfaction with him was clear as day, which Dazai obviously had expected.

"Stupid questions get stupid answers," he concluded, reaching his tongue out.

"To be fair, it was a pretty... vague question," Ranpo added carefully.

"Don't you have some glasses to polish?" Kunikida snapped back, receiving a mournful look from Ranpo, being reminded of the grave loss he had experienced when he couldn't figure out what was going on with Dazai.

"Kunikida..." Fukuzawa warned.

"I'm calm!" 

… 

"Okay, I'm not calm." 

He took a deep breath and held it for ten seconds as he walked a couple of laps around the room.

"Dazai-kun, there's really no need to withhold any information anymore. We already know more than I know you would like us to... The only thing we really need to know is why," Fukuzawa said calmly.

Dazai's smile didn't stir, but there was something sad that shadowed over the usual twinkle in his eyes and dulled them considerably. He chuckled, but there was nothing humorous in it.

"Yeah, I-" he tried. 

Something in him wanted to tell them everything. At least everything he knew or could remember. He really wanted to... be understood. He wanted them to know why he was the way he was. Why he couldn't express his feelings, because, it wasn't that he didn't want to express himself, he just didn't know how to. 

Every emotion that once possibly had come naturally to him, he had been stripped off before he could even remember.

No crying, no laughing, no smiling, no anger, no sadness, no happiness, no weakness, no fear, no love, no hope.

His stomach started to feel queasy and he realized that he had been glaring at his feet for way too long. They were all looking at him, With the expressions, he knew was 'worried', which, they probably could feel for real. 

All the while, he was still smiling, which was the wrong expression,

He mentally swift through his "emotional library" and tried to fit the situation to his facial expression, but it was all too much and his stomach was feeling bilious and the feelings that he did have, that he had no control over, completely overturned him as his heart started to race and the bile was halfway up his throat. Panic. A feeling that turned physical, that he couldn't wean, only hide.

What happened next, he didn't know if was a blessing or a curse. 

But vomiting, he didn't need to fake. That came naturally.

He threw up all over the bed, panting with raspy breaths in a mix of discomfort and pain between the dry-heaves, as Atsushi tried to keep a straight face while stroking his back and Fukuzawa ordered Kunikida to do- something- Dazai didn't hear, didn't care, as Kunikida ran out of the room.

...

The following hour went by with a bath and a change of rooms. Dazai was reminded of how much of a pain in the ass it was to get clean with a cast on, and he tried his hardest not to react to the way the male nurse who was helping him watched his bare skin as he undressed the bile-covered bandages with that compassionate and surprised look they always got. 

He was so, so sick of it. Wished he could crawl out of his skin, shed it like a snake, and rid himself of it once and for all.

All the fuzz had made him tired, as well as the strong pain medication he had gotten when they had to move him around as much as they had to. His co-workers had left, but he knew they'd be back tomorrow to try again to get the answers they wanted, probably armed with barf bags.

Dazai didn't know how he was going to be able to tell them, rubbing his face with frustration, as he heard a strange knock on the window.

It could only be one person, as his new room was on the fifth floor.

Dazai's bed was placed next to the window by his own request, and he pulled the curtain away and cracked the window open, letting Chuuya manipulate the gravity to pull the security lock open himself and climbing in.

"There's a perfectly fine door over there, you know," Dazai said tiredly.

"The receptionist told me visiting hours were over," Chuuya answered nonchalantly and very carefully crawled over the bed- to not repeat the disastrous 'butt-to-fracture action’ he had caused a couple of weeks ago. 

"Also, you know I have a love for the dramatics."

Dazai smiled, for real. Chuuya could sometimes bring that out of him, which he appreciated.

It made him think...

"Chuuya, I need to ask you something."

"No Dazai, the hospital gown doesn't make your ass look fat," he sighed jokingly, looking in the mirror that was placed over a sink on the other side of the room, fixing a couple of stray hairs that had gotten loose from his pony-tail on his way up the side of the hospital.

"I know. I have a bony ass. You've told me," Dazai said exasperated. Maybe Chuuya wasn't the right person to talk about this with after all.

Chuuya seemed to sense Dazai's tension and regretted his ill-timed joke. 

"I'm sorry," he said and turned back to Dazai. "Are you okay? Kunikida-san messaged me about the incident with your... stomach contents."

Dazai's lips twisted into a slightly curved smile. "You and Kunikida-san seem to message each other a lot recently," he commented, acting hurt.

"Yeah, well, it's hard to have joint custody of a twenty-two-year-old."

Chuuya placed a chair next to Dazai's bed and sat down. 

"So, Dazai-chan," he said softly in a slightly higher pitch, as if he was talking to a child, receiving a tired smile from Dazai, and returning the smile calmly.

"What's going on?" he said, changed back to normal. Or, maybe a bit nicer than his normal, normal.

Dazai seemed to search for his words.

"I think- I think you are my oldest friend," he started. Chuuya's arched an eyebrow.

"I also think that, except for Mori, you're the person who knows the most about me, and... the stuff that has happened, you know, before..."

Chuuya nodded, unable to look Dazai in the eyes, knowing that Dazai probably looked the other way too. When Dazai didn't continue, Chuuya assumed he was stuck.

"Kunikida also told me that you blanked out..." he told him, realizing without much effort that there had to be a connection between Dazai's sudden sentimental statements and the events that had unfolded earlier that day.

"Yeah, I guess I did. Chu... I-I don't know why it happened. I actually wanted to tell them everything. Is that weird?" He looked on the other with genuinely questioning eyes.

"If you're referring to blanking out to the point that you puke- yeah, a bit. But, about letting your friends know what's been going on with you? No. Not at all. I think it'd be good for you to tell them."

"I couldn't. It felt like it got caught in my throat and when I finally got it unstuck- it came out as bile."

Chuuya sneered. "Well, I guess the imagery is pretty accurate."

Dazai only hummed in response, and leaned back in the bed, watching the city outside of his room.

They sat like that in silence for a little while, both reflecting on the years that had led up to this moment, where they were finally able to sit by each other's side as friends again, somewhat fucked up and complicated friends, but, there was nothing that wasn't fucked up and complicated with anything in their lives.

"Maybe you could write it down," Chuuya suddenly suggested.

"Huh?" Dazai turned to face him again, confused and weary.

"Write it down, what you want to tell them. If you're not comfortable with saying it... without spraying it," Chuuya looked way too smug about his own joke, "then maybe you'll be able to write it down."

Dazai grimaced. "I'm on a sick-leave for another 6 to 8 weeks. I don't want to write a report. Also, you know my handwriting looks like chicken-scratches."

"Yeah, you don't have to remind me. I'm sure you remember who wrote all of our hand-written reports for three years. But, it's not going to be like a report. It might actually put some weight off your back, and you only have to write what you want to write. I can bring you your laptop tomorrow."

Dazai thought about it for a second. Then, he looked back up at Chuuya with an undecipherable smile and gave a faint nod.

"Yeah, that's- that's actually a good idea." ...

The next day, before lunch, Fukuzawa was a little surprised to find an email from Dazai in his inbox. Even though the title said "DO YOU WANT TO INCREASE YOUR PENIS SIZE BY 51%?! WE HAVE AN INSANE OFFER FOR YOU!!!" he decided to open it. His anti-virus program was pretty air-tight, after all.

Also, he knew Dazai.

I am sorry about yesterday. I can't seem to actually talk about this whole mess, even if I kinda want to. So, I'm going to try to write it all down instead. Please tell Atsushi that I truly am sorry for puking on his shirt, and to Kyouka, who probably had to clean it. And to you, Fukuzawa-senpai, if you're insecure about the size of your penis. 

(Fukuzawa edited this part out of the email before printing it out).

I don't know my father's real name. I've only ever called him Father. Neither do I know my mother's real name, but my father told me to call her Yariman -Slut.

She died when I was eight. I also had two older sisters, which both died before I was born. Father only wanted a son. They are buried with my mother under unmarked graves in the Shinja graveyard, I've never known where.

Much of the events of my early life are not relevant to the case. I might be ready to share some of it with you someday, but not today. What is relevant, is that Father's ability is called A Sinners Chagrin. As you might have guessed, it's the ability to make anyone's greatest fear appear before them. He spent most of my childhood making sure that my greatest fear was of God. Which it was, for a long time. A child's mind is easy to corrupt, and his ability started in the form of a generic boogyman and slowly turned in to my own depiction of God. After that, he was able to prove all his horrifying tales of what God would do to me, as he manipulated his ability to do just that.

(Fukuzawa: I ask that you are the only one who reads this next paragraph and that you remove it before anyone else can read it).

I'm sure the question all of you are dying to know the answer to, is how he was able to use his ability on me, and I'm afraid that the answer isn't as exciting or spectacular as you might think. It's simply because I'm afraid. And when I'm afraid, my body shuts down and disassociates, which apparently leaves me open for attack. I have never experienced it with anyone else but Father, but then again, he is the only one that has ever made me truly scared. Except for myself, apparently- considering the latest form of Father's ability. No idea how that happened... Nope. Guess that one will remain a mystery.

As you probably understand, this is information that leaves me in a pretty vulnerable position if fallen into the wrong hands, which is why I ask that no one else reads it.

(…)

(Baha! I just explained to Fukuzawa why Father's ability works on me and asked him to delete it before any of you scavengers can read it, suckaaaas)!

I guess where to go next is how I came about to join the Port Mafia. I have my suspicions that there is a little more to the story than I know for sure, but anything other then what I can actually recall will be speculations.

As Father was able to make 'God' appear by using me, he started to do exclusive performances to the elite of the extremist Christian societies around Japan. You all saw what the man had become- a deranged and utterly useless preacher that actually believed his ability to be a miracle, but he didn't start that way. He was a con-man. He knew what he was doing from the day he started doing it.

Sure, some of the pure insanity was there from the start (runs in the family I guess- so don't come for me), he did kill his wife and two daughters after all. I'm not an expert on family dynamics or anything, but I'm pretty sure that that is a kind of thing that isn't supposed to happen in the stereotypical nuclear family.

Anyway, the former main physician- turned boss of the Port Mafia, Ougai Mori, somehow got a whiff of Father, and decided to arrange a showcase of his "ability to make God appear" in front of the former boss, with the pretense of recruiting him. I was ten at the time and had recently started to develop some issues with Father's ramblings of how there was nothing worse than the wrath of God, which I guess somehow had been a pretty big part of my entire life at the time.

We did our usual shtick, and, I screwed up. I had no fear of his 'God' anymore, but I did have a great fear of him. Father.

The pain he had caused me was very real and very much caused by him and him alone. So, that was who showed himself that day, and ruined everything for him.

I don't know what happened the next hours. I have no recollection of it what so ever until I awoke in the belfry the next day and let myself drop to the ground.

I have never tried to hide my wish of dying. This was the day I first tried actively to make that happen. The day I decided that I wanted it to happen by my own hands.

As I am writing this, it won't come as a surprise to any of you that I failed. Whatever happened the next couple of days are as defuse to me as what happened the hours before. I woke up in Mori's care and stayed there for a very long time. He told me during that time, that I did not need to worry about Father anymore, and later told me that he was dead. Clearly, he was wrong.

One thing that both Father and Mori both had in common, was the fact that their goal was to make me unable to feel anything. Not physically (far from it), but emotionally. This is the reason I am writing this. Because as much as (this is hard for me to even write) I know I have overcome, the part of real emotion is one thing that I can not...

I'm sorry. I just don't know. I can't.

(Chuuya is threatening me with releasing a video of me while I was going through puberty online if I don't leave that last part, and I just realized that severe self-consciousness is a feeling I have gotten back).

The Port Mafia trained me to be a numb pawn purely made for withstanding torture without giving in, and killing. That is my design. What I am. Or was. I don't know.

That leaves me to address what happened the night I was injured, when this whole mess started.

During the night (I actually do sleep sometimes), a letter was slid through the crack under the door of my room at the dorms. If you want to see it, you can, but in short terms, it said that he was back, and wanted me to come back to him. I don't know what made me go- the feeling of terror I guess (another feeling I guess still lingers). So I did. I was instructed to go to the belfry, so I also did. I blacked out, and I didn't understand what had actually happened until that day we were all in Shinja. He had used his power, and as it took the form of myself at ten years old- I did get scared. I didn't think it was real, which was my mistake.

I told everyone that I was pushed off the tower, which I was, technically. I pushed myself off. I don't know if that counts as another suicide attempt, but that is what happened.

…leave it to Dazai to be a suicidal maniac while trying to survive an attempted murder on himself, committed by himself.

And I think you all kinda know what's been going on after that. Except that- yeah, I did know what Mori was planning. I also knew that Chuuya was in on it. But don't tell Chuuya.

(Chuuya just hit me).

(and he told me not to write that, so I did). Fuck you, Chuuya.

I'm going to finish this off with a request that the contents of this letter are never to be read out loud.

Whoever within the Agency that wants to read it can read it, but after that, it is to be burned and never spoken of again. I don't want to know who reads it, and I don't want to see traces of its content in any of your eyes. I'm still shitty-Dazai, bandage-waisting-device, the office slacker and an annoying piece of shit.

I hope this answers all of your questions, Kunikida. This is the best answer I could make of 'what the fuck?'

Within the next hour that Kunikida read Dazai's letter, he stood by his bedside. Dazai was apprehensive, as the stern man walked steadily to his side.

The first time Kunikida actually believed that Dazai relaxed, was the first time he ever hugged him. "Dazai, you are so, so, so wrong. You feel plenty. I know you don't understand it, but you do. You are a good human being."

Somehow, Dazai did believe it. Even if it wasn't true, really. But, if Kunikida believed it- he wouldn't prove him otherwise.

[kalperun]

Zebra (BSD, aku/atsu)

To my dear friend @whyis-every-username-taken and her wonderful BSD OC James Michener who can read the memories of people by looking into their eyes. It is also to be noted that he helped Akutagawa get out of the port mafia and join another ability group known as the Degenerates and helped solidify the relationship between Atsushi and Akutagawa.

Atsushi was never one to blatantly ditch unfinished work. Work that only needed a couple more pen strokes to pass Kunikida’s microscopic gaze of judgement before going on a lunch break. But these past few weeks, as soon as he saw that the clock struck noon, meaning that he was now allowed to leave for his hourly scheduled lunch, Atsushi found himself jumping straight out of his seat, towing his bag with him, and heading out the door in one quick fluid motion.

A fluid motion that should be reserved for signing his name at the bottom of his paperwork, something that he tended to forget. And Kunikida kept reminding him of that fact with increasing annoyance.

Besides Kunikida’s throbbing vein in his temple that Atsushi was positive would explode one day, it was as if he was more than eager to leave the closing walls of the ADA. As if he was more than jubilant to be rid of his co-workers; an excitement that was equal to Dazai’s past happiness when he finally found a method of suicide that was both a marvelous experience as it was completely painless.

But Atsushi never meant anything offensive by his quick need to leave as soon as the second hand met ‘noon’. He simply had places to be. Places and perhaps also something that he could be tending to. The ADA wasn’t his entire life after all. He had school and other people such as James to meet up with.

So when people such as Tanizaki raised an eyebrow at his rushed departure, and Ranpo merely stared at Atsushi with a look that told him he was more than willing to keep quiet in exchange for some candy, Atsushi learned to ignore it but always come back with said candy.

Mostly because some things were just not meant to be told. Some things were just meant to remain secret. It wasn’t necessarily lying. He simply wasn’t speaking about his lunches ime endeavors with a certain person.

That certain person who had pulled him straight into the alleyway by the ADA, hand covering his mouth as Atsushi held back a yelp until he realized who it was he was looking at.

“Were you followed?” Akutagawa asked without wasting a second as he released Atsushi, taking a moment to skillfully glance out the alleyway while remaining attached to the shadows.

“I know I wasn’t part of the port mafia and had all that ninja training you had, but I am part of the ADA,” Atsushi took a moment to remind. Although, he was slightly annoyed at the fact that Akutagawa had once again unexpectedly pulled him out from the street with unnecessary force. But on the upside at least he hadn’t used Rashoumon to do it. This time.

Akutagawa simply returned back to Atsushi’s side, an eyebrow quirked at the weretiger before he started to walk. “You’re skills in stealth are still mediocre at best.”

Okay, perhaps Akutagawa was a bit on the bullseye there but that didn’t mean that Atsushi wasn’t going to be defensive about it. “I’m not bad. It’s just not being in my tiger form can make it - difficult.” Weak argument, but at least Akutagawa was pitying him enough to not shatter the last defense he had against his pride. So in a last ditch effort to keep the ex-mafioso from speaking further he grabbed his hand, his arm pressed against the others own as they made their way out the opposite end of the alley, walking briskly down the street.

“Any plans on where you want to eat this time?” Atsushi asked as he looked up at the other. “I know you seemed to like that curry place from last week. We could go there again.”

All he received in response though was a rather unresponsive hum. Atsushi didn’t mind though. Akutagawa had things to look out for currently. Such as other ADA agents going out on lunch break. Only just one concern, but the biggest concern you can have when you’re trying to keep your relationship a secret.

“This way.” Akutagawa suddenly spoke up, gripping Atsushi’s hand tighter as he kept his head low, hand now wrapping around Atsushi’s shoulders urging him to do the same as the sides of their bodies were pressed against each other. It didn’t help that Atsushi had such distinctive hair, but it did help a bit when using their guise as a couple to allow attention to wash over them.

But it wasn’t a guise. And that was made evident as soon as they found themselves on a park bench, store bought bento boxes sitting between them as they ate their lunch in relative peace. There was nothing but the cool wind against their backs, miraculous shade casting over them thanks to the hanging cherry blossom tree that would not bloom until months to come.

This is what Atsushi has been doing everyday for the past few weeks.

Ever since James got them both to be cordial with each other, and to talk, they started to meet up on their own. After all, Dazai was pushing for them to be partners, not in the way Chuuya and him are ‘partners’ currently, but partners out in the field. Because with their abilities combined they were nearly unstoppable.

So with Dazai training them to be partners and then James pushing them towards toleration of each other and then friends...well. That’s how Akutagawa and him ended up here. Sharing a bench and eating bento boxes together as they began yet another lunch date.

“You said yesterday that you had a mission with the Degenerates. How did it go?” Atsushi asked around a mouthful of rice, never really having the courtesy to swallow then talk. A flaw that Akutagawa has pointed out but never held against him. Atsushi already lacked enough confidence in the area of dating. Let alone dating your suppose-to-be mortal enemy. Best not to think about such things.

Akutagawa huffed, his bento box set neatly on his lap as he regarded the question almost thoughtfully. Atsushi could just see the creases between his almost-existent eyebrows as he figured out how to answer. If Atsushi lacked in dating his once-upon-a-time-enemy - who tried to kill him multiple times but the action was mutual - then Akutagawa definitely lacked in the same area.

It was unusual at first. For the both of them. From trying to be each other’s demise, to then sharing coffee, and then kissing… He wondered if this was what it was like for Chuuya and Dazai.

“It was fine,” Akutagawa admitted. “It’s just sometimes strange remembering that the Special Abilities Division used to watch me closely, and now I’m technically working for them.”

Atsushi laughed at that. “A lot of things have changed. But perhaps for the better…” He let the sentence hang though, as if hoping for Akutagawa to continue, which to his credit he did.

“I know. Between me and you, then Gin and I being apart of the Degenerates. The only thing that hasn’t changed is Dazai pushing us to be the next soukoku.”

“I don’t think that’s too bad though. As long as it doesn’t interfere too much with my school work and things at the ADA, I am sure we can achieve the goal of being what Yokohama needs.”

“The next soukoku?” Akutagawa asked for clarification.

“Yeah, except the name doesn’t fit.” Atsushi thought out loud as he stuffed another rice ball into his mouth. “I mean - double black? I contrast that color and you have that whole Rogue from X-men hairstyle going on.”

“And I am sure that you must know that I can’t understand a single word you’re saying.” Akutagawa deadpanned as he set aside his now empty bento box, unable to hear the weretiger over the cluster of rice in his mouth.

Atsushi almost choked as a laugh tried to build its way out through his throat, but with a well-timed swallow he was able to avoid the embarrassment. “I was saying that the name ‘soukoku’ doesn’t fit.”

Akutagawa paused in thought before giving a slow nod of agreement. “I suppose I see your point. But it would be simpler to just go with ‘shin soukoku’ and move on.”

“Sure, it’s simpler but it’s not as fun.” Atsushi argued before it dawned on him. “Oh! I got it!” He stated as he turned his entire body to Akutagawa, mustering the most serious face he possessed and with - miraculously - an unwavering voice he said, “Zebra.”

Akutagawa stared at Atsushi. “No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Atsushi,” Akutagawa breathed out his first name. “We’re not calling ourselves zebra.” He tried to urge as Atsushi only started laughing. “It’s not funny.”

“But it is!”

“We’re not calling ourselves zebra.” Akutagawa said with a tone of finality, causing Atsushi to pout as he finished off his own bento box.

“You have no idea what great opportunity you’re missing. Zebras are majestic creatures.”

“Uh huh,” Akutagawa hummed with the amount of fucks he gave which was zero.

“And,” Atsushi waved his hand in the air as he stood up with his empty bento box, his bag slung across his shoulder. “It fits our white and black aesthetic.”

With an over dramatic eye roll that could send the earth spinning the other way, Akutagawa only shook his head as he fell into step with Atsushi, both of them taking a moment to throw away their bento boxes before continuing on.

“I think James would approve.”

Akutagawa quirked an eyebrow. “Even if James was offered the option between a million yen or adopting an orphaned ability user who would kill him in the middle of the night, he would still choose the orphaned ability user. So his ‘approval’ does little to change my mind.”

Atsushi snorted as he let out a laugh, nudging Akutagawa with his shoulder as he did so. “And yet here you are, out of the port mafia because of his influence. I smell a liar.”

Atsushi could feel the small glare that Akutagawa was giving him, but he knew it was playful and he didn’t mean anything by it. “Speaking of James, you haven’t looked him in the eye have you?”

Chewing on his bottom lip he gave a nod as he sighed heavily. “I think he knows I’m avoiding his gaze on purpose at this point. But you have seen him a couple times this past couple weeks, haven’t you? Was he suspicious of you as well?”

A small shake of his head led to a small breath of relief for the weretiger. “Partly. James does tend to think the best of us. So I don’t think he’ll identify this as distrust or malice but he would be worried. He might end up asking what’s wrong eventually…”

“And when he does what do we say? I don’t like lying.” Atsushi wasn’t even good at lying to begin with. And lying to people when he had their trust? He wasn’t keen on breaking that trust. James being no exception to that rule whatsoever. “Even all this sneaking around feels like lying. But I don’t want to tell everyone about us. At least not now.”

Atsushi knew that people wouldn’t mind him and Akutagawa being together, but Atsushi also wanted to keep this to himself just for now because he didn’t feel ready for his relationship with him to come out yet. He knew that Gin knew about them, and Atsushi didn’t mind and actually liked having at least one person know, but for now, he just had to figure things out.

Between school, the ADA, becoming Dazai’s dream team, Atsushi needed to figure out where his relationship with Akutagawa fit in this entire mess that was called his ‘life’. On the bright side Akutagawa understood that and the sneaking around gave some excitement to the relationship.

With the Degenerate sneaking into his apartment at night so the both of them could watch some bad rom-com, or just talk and cuddle in bed together, or just go out like this together, it was nice and fun. Like Dazai’s suicides it was a marvelous experience and completely painless.

“We wait then. That’s all there is to it.” Akutagawa’s words made it all sound so simple, but at some point even he knew that Atsushi was going to need a small push for this to work.

Smiling brightly at the man beside him clothed in all black, with a sleek pair of sunglasses, he wrapped his arm around his. “Looks like we’ll make good partners after all. But about zebra-” Atsushi didn’t get to finish the sentence as quite suddenly he was pulled into the nearest alleyway for the second time that day, Akutagawa pressing Atsushi against the wall, Rashoumon wrapped around his mouth.

It made Atsushi flush at the rather intimate position he had put them into. With Akutagawa’s body pressing against his own so Atsushi was flat against the wall, and Rashoumon prohibiting him to speak, his ears went red at the possibility of someone seeing them in such a compromising position.

Rashoumon retreated, Akutagawa putting a finger to his lips as Atsushi in that moment, with his brain on the fritz, asked the dumbest thing that could come to mind. “Is this about the Zebra?”

The look that he received only had Atsushi start laughing, causing the Degenerate to press his hand against his mouth as a very familiar voice could be heard passing by the alleyway.

“James, we’re going to be late! Making that stop for your slushee made us behind schedule. We’re already thirty-two seconds late.” That was without a doubt the strict and stern voice of Kunikida that at one point probably made multiple poor math students he used to teach piss in their seats.

“Well, to be fair, I wasn’t just going to refuse the nice lady who bumped into me after she knocked my other slushee out of my hand. She was insistent, and wanted to buy me another one.” And that was James. Just James. That’s all that was needed to know based on the wreck of a history professor.

“She was hitting on you.” Kunikida supplied.

“Yes, She was nice - wait - She was what?” Came James’ confused voice.

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.” Kunikida responded curtly, clearly busy with his overzealous schedule.

The two familiar and passing voices slipped away past the entrance of the alley, now too far to be able to hear coherent words, leaving behind two teenagers who were still entangled with each other against a wall, their shoulders shaking.

Atsushi lost himself into laughing against Akutagawa’s shoulder the other joining lightly in the contagious hilarity of the situation as they then slipped down to the ground, just the both of them together, laughing, on a filthy ground without a care in the world.

It was for that very reason when Atsushi found a stuffed animal zebra on his desk the next morning - no name of the sender but he already knew who sent it - he named it ‘slushee’.

@tradrishanally a fic for your cute fic war as well!