#but feel free to reply or send asks or smth if u have anything to say

[0310s]

gently, by your side | jaehyun

members: myung jaehyun x gender neutral reader

genre: college au, angst, comfort, best friends! to ???, more platonic stuff in this one

tags/warnings: extensive discussions of mental health and chronic/mental illness, y/n is not okay. :(

summary: jaehyun finds you after a bad week.

wc: 2.7k

a/n: this fic’s title comes from this lovely song. as someone who’s struggled with both chronic and mental illness, it really takes someone strong and amazing to keep on going, despite everything. most of the dialogue in this comes from my own musings and experiences with mental health. i wrote this for a dear mutual of mine! i hope better days will come for you soon, whenever that may be. meanwhile, i hope this gives you comfort when things are tough! sending lots of love <3 

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

5 days ago 1:28 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

(y/n) we haven’t seen each other in such a loooong time imy :(( i mean i KNOW it’s just been a couple of days since we last hung out but still!!!!!!! when are we seeing each other again !!!! tell me ur schedule QUICK !!!!

4 days ago 6:33 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeeyyyyyyyyy (with the intention to hang out) heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy reply to meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! tell me when ur free pls i miss u :((

3 days ago 11:58 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

hey i didn’t see u at the party today i thought u said u were going last week!!!  also i asked around and people said they haven’t seen u around recently??? and they don’t know what ur up to

2 days ago 2:05 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

heeeyyyy ?????????? did i do smth?????  or are u just really busy w school and work idk either way pls just let me know :(( i won’t bother u if ur rlllyyy busy

10:35 PM sorry if i’m being annoying btw

Yesterday  11:32 PM 🐶 cutie puppy

ok i thought about it reaaaaaallly hard and i don’t think i’ve done anything to make u mad or upset w me??? well aside from that time last last week that u got mad at me for accidentally messing w ur computer and deleting ur work files WHICH IM LIKE REALLY SORRY FOR but i fixed it!!!!! i thought we were good alrd!!! are u still mad at me 4 that ?

1:00 AM (y/n)?

1:28 AM idk  i thought i was ur best friend :(( did smth change???

2:47 AM pls pls reply :(( i know we can talk this out i don’t want us to not be ok

Today  3:00 PM 🐶 cutie puppy i’m coming over.

𓉞⋆｡˚☁︎｡⋆

Sitting up from your bed, your heart thuds in anxiety as you quickly scroll through your chat history with Jaehyun. Your eyes hurt and your brain feels especially foggy, like you’re looking at the world through a particularly cloudy lens. How long did you sleep? The last thing you recall was working on your assignments last night, then choosing to sleep instead when you got overwhelmed. Even then, you slept fitfully. You remember setting an alarm at 9 AM today to continue working, but even as you sat at your desk, you couldn’t type a single sentence on your laptop. Everything felt muddled and it was as if you couldn’t understand anything at all. Even the cups of coffee you drank in desperation was of no use keeping you alert; all it did was make you palpitate.

Then you gave up, went back to bed, and you’re here now. Checking the chat timestamps, you realize you haven’t replied to Jaehyun’s messages in almost a week, which has never happened before—you talk almost everyday, even multiple times a day. Jaehyun’s last message was at 3 PM, when he said he’d come over. One look at your screen shows you it’s already 3:20. If you’ve memorized his schedule right, it takes your best friend thirty minutes to get to your dorm from his Fundamental Maths class. That means you have ten more minutes to get your shit together and clean your mess of a room. 

But right when you’ve mustered the energy to stand up, you hear a series of knocks on your door. That can’t be— “(Y/n), open up, I know you’re in there!” Jaehyun’s voice echoes from outside the door. “I asked your dormmate and she said you haven’t left your room since yesterday, so there’s no use pretending!” Shit, shit, shit! You immediately spring up and hastily fold your blankets and organize your desk, throwing away stray food wrappers and plastic cups. You open your blinds to let some air in, and the bright sunlight makes your head throb even more. 

On your way to the door, you spot yourself in the mirror. There’s no other word for it—you look like utter shit. Your eyebags are dark and prominent, your hair disheveled from tossing and turning in your sleep. You look horrendous, but Jaehyun is persistently knocking on your door, so you have no choice but to fix yourself up as fast as you can. You splash water on your face and smoothen down your hair and open the door—then there’s Jaehyun in all his glory. Your heart clenches seeing him; he looks as handsome as always, his bangs fluffy and soft and his letterman jacket fashionably oversized. He looks nothing like you in your ratty T-shirt with coffee stains and pajama shorts. His hand is halfway raised, positioned to knock at your door (he could and would probably do it all day if he had to). Upon seeing you, he blurts out: “Did I do something?”

Instead of answering him, you open your door wider as an invitation, and Jaehyun takes the hint, stepping into your dorm. Once the door is shut, Jaehyun peers at your messy room and remarks, “Wow. When was the last time you cleaned up? You’re usually not like this.”

You know he didn’t mean it like that, but his comment stings at you all the same. “Sorry, Jaehyun,” you snap, “not everyone can be at 200% energy all the time like you.” At his hurt expression, you backtrack. “Sorry, that was really rude of me.”

“It-It’s fine,” Jaehyun replies confusedly. Then he looks straight at you, eyes pleading. He’s picking at the stray thread hanging from his jacket, a habit you’ve come to known is something he does when he’s nervous. “You know what, I thought about it. For days, really, if I did anything that would make you mad and ignore me. But I couldn’t come up with anything at all. I was really worried when you didn’t reply to me for days on end, especially when we talk everyday. So if I did something, can—can you just tell me? I just want us to be okay.”

Your throat closes up and your heart pounds even faster, making you feel dizzy. You have no idea how to answer him, when all he’s ever seen of you is the perfect student who does everything right, who’s smart and good at what they do without any flaws or exceptions. How would he react if he saw you for who you really were?

The words can’t form in your mouth, and out of frustration at yourself, you tear up. Jaehyun notices this, eyes widening in worry, “(y/n), baby, no, no,” and pulls you into his arms. Almost instantly, the tears cascade down your face and sobs wrack your body. You feel pathetic crying in your best friend’s arms, but Jaehyun just soothes a hand up and down your back as you break down. His other arm is wrapped around your shoulders, and it feels like your anchor when you’re drowning in all your troubles. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” he says in a hushed tone, “let it all out.” You grip his jacket even tighter as you bury your face in his chest. 

When was the last time you’ve ever been hugged like this? The last time you’ve ever been truly vulnerable to anyone without that mask of perfection you often don? The last time you felt safe just being yourself? You have no idea. All you know that is in the circle of Jaehyun’s arms, you want to be small and imperfect and yourself just this once.

After your cries die down, Jaehyun clears his throat. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t know what it is I did, but I’m so sorry for hurting you.”

“It’s not you, Jaehyun,” your voice is muffled by both your sniffles and Jaehyun’s chest. You don’t want Jaehyun to get the wrong idea that he’s hurt you in some way because of how broken he sounds thinking he’s done something to make you sad. “It’s just. Me.”

“You? What do you mean?” Jaehyun leads you into your room from the doorway. He’s holding your hand and doesn’t let go even when you both settle at the edge of your bed. His palm is warm and his grip loose enough in case you want to let go; you don’t. While you muster up the courage to speak, your best friend just sits there, waiting patiently. “It’s okay, whatever you say, I’m not going anywhere.” You don’t know that for sure, but him saying that makes you want to be truthful just this once, damn the consequences.

You take a deep breath, focusing on your intertwined fingers. You’re too scared to look at his face because you don’t want to see his reaction. “Jaehyun, what kind of person do you think people see me as?”

“Well…” He takes a moment to think about it. “Someone smart, talented, and who gets stuff done?”

In turn, you let out an resigned exhale. “Well, that’s the image I project. Of someone who’s perfect… someone who does things effortlessly. People think it comes easy to me. But it doesn’t. When people tell me that I didn’t need much effort to get to where I am now, I feel undermined. When I express I’m having a hard time, people brush it off and think I’m just overreacting. Because they think I’m perfect all the time. But honestly…? That’s the farthest thing from the truth."

Glancing up from your hands, you scan your room—your desk is a mess of papers and assignments that you have yet to get to. You can’t tell when the last time you spent time being actually productive when what you’ve been is fatigued out of your mind. When you try to sit at your desk and work, all you feel is difficulty concentrating and processing work and readings. Sleep has also proven to be elusive—no matter how long you lie in bed, you never feel well-rested. Simple actions and decisions require so much energy from you that you undeniably lack. You also constantly compare yourself to others, whom things like these come natural to them. But you’ve kept these feelings of yours secret for a long time—you’re utterly terrified that you’d be undermined for being useless and overly sensitive.   

“(Y/n)?” Jaehyun squeezes your hand, and you turn to meet his eyes. His eyes are sincere and kind. “I-I know I may not be the most empathic person, but I promise I’ll hear you out without judging you. I want to be here for you… and I hope you’ll let me. Please?” 

At this, you spill everything you’ve been feeling the past weeks—months, even—to Jaehyun. You stumble over your words and your breath gets caught in your throat, but he’s there to pat your back and to encourage you to keep going. Without you knowing, tears make their way down your face once again, and Jaehyun uses his other hand to gently brush them away. “It just gets so hard that I want to just. Give everything up. I don’t know what the use of trying so hard is when I see how other people don’t need this much effort to do even the most basic of tasks. It’s just so… unfair.”

When you’re finished with your rant, you don’t know what to expect from Jaehyun—but you’re stunned to see him crying. He’s sniffling and wiping at his eyes furiously. “Why…” You have no idea what he’s about to say, but you brace yourself for the worst. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?” he whispers brokenly. “I didn’t know you were having such a difficult time. I feel like such a shitty friend for not even noticing. I’m sorry, (y/n).” Jaehyun’s eyes fill with tears and he starts “I… I thought we were best friends.” The best friends tell each other everything goes unsaid, but you know exactly what he meant.

“I…” You feel awful now for making Jaehyun cry. “You’re just. You just naturally have all this limitless energy. You’re…” Normal. Not like me. “I don’t know how if you were going to take me seriously if I told you what I was going through… There were times I’d see you, and I’d be so disappointed in myself for not being like you. And I was so scared that if I did tell you, I’d be letting you down.”

Jaehyun’s expression grows more miserable at this. “I-I’m sorry, (y/n), I never meant to make you feel unheard. And I never meant for it to feel like you couldn’t tell me about these things.” 

“It-It’s not your fault, Jaehyun,” you protest, but he shakes his head, obviously disappointed in himself.

“No, (y/n), I’m supposed to be your best friend. How stupid can I be if I can’t notice when you’re having a hard time? I didn’t even stop to ask how you’ve been doing because you seemed to be doing fine. But I should’ve known better. I shouldn’t have taken things at face value. I’m such an idiot,” Jaehyun berates himself. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

At his sincere apology, you can’t help but admit it to yourself—you desperately needed Jaehyun’s support as your best friend, but you were too scared to ask for it. And honestly? You felt immensely lonely without his words and presence to comfort you. 

“(Y/n), I hope you know that I see how hard you work. I know your sleepless nights and how much effort you put into every single thing you do. Despite everything you’re going through, you’re always trying to be better than the person you were yesterday, and it’s something I truly admire about you. But I hope you know it’s okay to be imperfect and flawed and to not be okay. I want to be here on your good and bad days. I just wish I could’ve been more vocal about this earlier… I’ve really taken you for granted, huh?” Jaehyun sighs wetly, taking your hand in both of his. He’s still crying; you both are, actually. What a silly pair the two of you make. 

“Thank you for trusting me and sharing all of this. It literally means the world to me,” Jaehyun rambles. “I promise I’ll be a better friend to you, someone you feel safe opening up to about anything, whether that be your achievements or your struggles. And (y/n), if it’s not too much to ask… Could I ask you to be more honest with me in the future?” He stares at you imploringly. “I don’t want you to think you have to go through all of this alone. I want to be here for you the same way you’ve always been there for me… Okay?”

“....Okay. Okay, I’ll try,” you respond softly. “Thank you, Jaehyun. I… I’ve never told anyone about this before. But thank you so much for just listening, and not judging, and accepting me for me…” While you appreciate Jaehyun’s presence at this moment, a new wave of fatigue washes over you with all this emotional vulnerability and talking. “Jaehyun… I’m still feeling really tired, so I might go back to sleep. Sorry, I know you came all the way here to see me, but here I am being shit company,” you apologize regretfully.

“Oh! That’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Jaehyun stands up from your bed to leave. When your fingers slip from each other, you feel an acute loss of warmth—both in your hands and in your heart. He makes his way to the door, slipping on his shoes, and your heart sinks. There’s something you badly want to ask of Jaehyun, but you’re too much of a coward to tell him what you truly want. You don’t want to be on your own right now, but you’d probably be asking too much of him. Accepting your fate, you settle in bed, attempting to take a nap so restless you’re sure will be of no help to your exhaustion.

However, Jaehyun himself stops in the doorway. He turns back around, a distraught look on his face. “(Y/n)... I don’t want to assume, but are you sure you want to be alone right now?” he begins. “I mean, we just had this really heavy talk. Can… Can I keep you company? I promise I’m great at cuddles—that’s what all my other friends say anyway when I annoy them with my hugs.”

When you nod, that’s all it takes for Jaehyun to shuck off his shoes, strip his jacket, and climb into bed with you. With your ear against his steady heartbeat and his comforting arm around you, you’re asleep in no time. It’s the best you’ve ever slept in months.

[thedevotionaltour]

im sorry i kno rbing stuff like that can be a bit silly but i do mean it. always feel free 2 send an ask if u wanna talk abt smth but dont wanna dm or or reply to posts whatever etc etc even if we are not mutuals (i have reasons for not following back but this doesnt mean anything against you) i will be glad 2 have fun with u. ok? forever

[tedlebred]

🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸

I’m Asher / Ules / Uly !! :)) 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈 🇦🇺

They // He , 16 , autistic+adhd

[I also have an insta hee hee hoo hoo]

TUMBLR’S BEEN MAKING ME UNFOLLOW PEOPLE IF WERE MUTUALS AND IM NO LONGER FOLLOWING U LMK🙏🙏

Artist ~~ I post about my hyperfixations so I bounce around fandoms a bunch, but usually circle back…… if u followed for smth specific the wait may be long and arduous

Send me lil anonymous drawings iyw!!!!👉👈

come say hi I don’t bite <|:•) bites you bites you bites you b

‼️[understanding what people are saying through text is very difficult for me, so I often don’t reach out or follow up on things out of fear of misunderstanding you, or feel I might be coming off too strong. I’m almost def not ignoring you. Feel free to reach out/send asks/chat!!!!!!!! Esp mutuals. Tell me if I misunderstand something horribly]‼️

DNI-

if you support Israeli government through what they’re doing to the innocent people in Palestine, or believe that protesting israel = antisemitism/being against Zionism = antisemitism, kindly gtfo

Proshippers/Comshippers dni- I’m not gonna harass you guys. do what you want!!!!! I just want to curate my online experience and proships/comships make me very uncomfortable.

Homo/transphobes obvi lol we wouldn’t like each other, Russia supporters, terfs, ableists, dream/dteam supporters, Wilbur supporters, transmed/truscum, bi//dip or wi//dip shippers, lun//ter shippers, oda//zai shippers dni

Fandoms / interests : ToH,, DC (basically just Batman tbh) OFMD, Gotham, Bungou stray dogs, death note, Good Omens,, Gravity Falls, genshin lore (not in the fandom though y'all are foul), Star Wars, Norse mythology + getting into greek mythology + a little bit of everything, really!! I enjoy media critically 💥

Tone tags appreciated <33

I’m alr w getting tagged for pr much anything | i might take some time to reply to tags/messages/asks bc im feeling real burnt out these days lol🫶

@a-aeriis is my Genshin sideblog . Lordy

(if u softblock me n i follow u again it’s just bc my memory is shit!! Let’s be honest that’ll probably happen!!! If you’d prefer i DNI just. Hard block me)

[ art tag: #asher art ]

It’s so hard to stay silly in this economy

[seiwas]

SEL HELLO BABY !! how are you?? i feel like we haven’t spoken in forever, i hope you’re having a beautiful and wonderful weekend <33 anything you and satoru up to? 🤭

i’m not sure what emojis are taken so i’ll drop some in the order of my preference so feel free to choose whatever is free ! ! <3 - 💎🐉🧚🏻‍♀️

angie baby!!!! how are you oh god it has been so long 🥺 am sorry i haven’t been dropping by ur lil inbox as much too 😭 i hope you’re feeling much better and that you’re using this weekend to do things you enjoy!! 💗

me and satoru?? hmmmm nothing much for us really!! a nice sunday at home maybe 🫶🏻 hehe maybe i’ll make him massage my back while i code smth 🤨🤭 what about you and sugu? 🥺

and thank u so much for helping me pick out your emoji!!! -> angie.💎 is so fitting for the gem that you are 🥺 i love u!

TO MY MOOTS! currently fixing my moots tag to [name].[emoji] (ex: sel.☁️)!

if it’s okay, can you please send me which emoji you’d like me to use for you? (either thru replies or ask!! any is fine, and repeats are okay too!!)

so sorry, i wanted to message you all individually but don’t have the time (and i want to fix the tags alr! so they’re cute 🥹) thank you so much❣️

[fxrtunas]

— — FORTUNE TELLER

An RP multimuse blog for Allan Kier, an original NPC based on the FFXIV world!

current draft count: 50+ current inbox count: 80+

owed starters: 0 owed asks: 8

Guidelines (UPDATED 9TH NOV):

hewwo!! call me termi (25+, any pronouns)

Allan is a non-wol oc btw in case the following information is confusing!

am a filthy multishipper hehehe

hey look at allan’s sausage fingers in the pic above

this is p much a multimuse blog but all the other muses basically revolve around allan so expect to see 80% of allan content kljalksjf

allan is likely to gravitate to extremes for what he wants, so torture/manipulation/etc. may be present on this blog!

i am v bad at rmbering all ffxiv lore but i will do my best ljaflksjf

i tag 'trigger tw' for any sensitive content!

i have a busy irl and other commitments! bc of this is i am naturally very slow and will take random hiatus’!

pls don’t rush me into replying to things or remind me in any way ;w ; this is a hobby for me and i tend to withdraw and get slower if i feel stressed fjlkdjsg

i do drop threads quite a lot; this is just to keep drafts from getting bloated. the reasons range from not knowing how to repond, not having the muse for it, it was a casual thread, or feeling like our muses’ relationship has progressed past that in other threads! it’s nothing personal at all, and i’m always happy to initiate new stuff!!

^ that being said, i tend to keep drafts if its the only one we have between our muses and/or we have anything planned for it!

FYI:

my main rp partner is @echobled​ so replies to their muses tend to be prioritized!

feel free to turn any prompt u sent that i answered into a thread!

i have a very low social battery so if you see me around on the dash and not responding to dms, it’s nothing personal! i’m probably just mentally drained and its easier for me to do small stuff while i recover ;w ;

Permanent Interaction Call (like at ur leisure no matter how long its been :3c)

Gentle wishlist ;w ; (pls also feel free to send me ideas u wanna do for ur muse!!)

Replying to one of my open starters is the easiest way to interact with me! i love doing one-liners as much as multipara/novella stuff, and oneliners require much less brain so! its my fave way esp since it can Evolve into smth more so don’t be afraid to jump in on em!

i love angst, hurt/comfort, romance, smut, and dark themes the most, but am happy to rp everything else, those are just faves kljaklsjf

open to familial/platonic/antagonistc dynamics and pre-est stuff if we can plot chemistry ;w ;

allan is an original NPC! the easiest way to look at him is as a blue sidequest giver LKJASLKFj completely missable, u get like. idk a handshake or a kees on the cheek (or more) LKJASKLFj but he does have a backstory that helps lend darker elements to plotting. its v flexible too in how light or dark it can get to make sure i don’t go too heavy with my rp partner if that’s not what they prefer. that being said, i did mention i love dark themes, so hmu if that’s what ur interested in!!  also love to explore deeper plots connected to my rp partner’s muse too!!

Allan Kier (main muse)

Age: appears mid to late 20s Gender: cis male Orientation: gay Eye colour: purple Hair colour: purple Skin colour: light brown Height: 170cm | 5'7 Notable features: tattoo on his right cheek (further back, mostly hidden), several dotted scars on left side of waist, a long scar from his left shoulder blade to his lower right back Job: Astrologian (abilities similar up to lvl 40; grows or changes class depending on story) Alignment: chaotic neutral

Brief History:

Not much is known about his earlier life. However, he lived in Sharlayan for a significant amount of time as a low profile arcanist.

Was secretly banished from Sharlayan for [redacted].

Went to Ishgard since he had some contacts there, making it easier to hide from [redacted]. However, due to starting over completely and relying on those contacts, he owes a major amount of debt that he pays off with his special ability, [redacted].

At some point during this, he becomes an Astrologian.

After the Dragonsong War, he travelled around more often, figuring it's safe to do so after the time he spent in Ishgard. He still revisits Ishgard to deal with his remaining few debts every so often.

More on Allan!

ANCIENT + SHARDS —

Asclepius (the Ancient Allan is a shard of):

Gender: cis male Orientation: asexual demiromantic Eye colour: glowing pale purple Hair colour: orange/light brown Skin colour: light brown Notable features: scar down his right eye, tattoo on his right temple Job: DRK (more proficient as a WHM, but abandoned it) Special abilities: soul sight - able to see and interpret the essence and shape of souls at will. prophetical sight - receives uncontrollable visions when he rests; this ability only got more wild in his waking time the closer the sundering came. Brief history: 

was known to have talents in medicinal care and healing, and had prophetic visions that would lead him to isolate himself often. 

was even offered the Seat of Emmerololth which he turned down quite fast. 

after receiving visions of the Final Days and the Sundering, he disappeared from society for some odd years, then came back as a DRK and sought adventure in an effort to forget all that he had Seen. 

he was running around... somewhere... when the Sundering happened lkJKALSJF 

he is p much a v big hermit and had like one (1) friend that returned to the star (verse dependent, he could also have Azem as a friend but... that’s probably it....... wheeze)

more on asclepius!

Selene (shard of Allan in the First)

Age: appears in her late 20s Gender: cis female Orientation:lesbian Eye colour: red Hair colour: black Skin colour: light brown Height: 196cm (6′4) Notable features: jagged scar from her chest to her left hip, scar on the back of her left thigh, another three scars across her right shoulder blade Job: BLM main (abilities up to lvl 80)

Brief bio: 

born of Eulmore to high-ranking soldiers in the army, Selene served and protected her home for many years. 

she defects to the Crystarium after learning the dark truth behind Eulmore’s inner machinations and rejecting them.

more on Selene!

Naila (Voidsent shard of Allan)

Age: ??? (appears in her mid to late twenties) Gender: ??? (she/they mostly) Orientation: aethersexual (she will lay with anyone to have aether basically LKJAFK) Eye colour: gold Hair colour: purple Skin colour: light brown Height: 150cm (4′9) Notable features: the biggest floofiest tail. her voice will also become quite gutteral/demonic when indimidating someone or when she loses control (either from anger/pleasure/shock). Job: WAR

Brief bio: 

the person that summoned Naila into the Source swiftly met an end when they prepared horrendously poorly for her arrival. Now Naila runs around in their body. 

she doesn’t necessarily need aether considering she’s in the Source, but she still has a craving for it. 

she only wants to have fun; she found the Thirteenth boring and dull but the Source? The Source is full of people she can play with to her heart’s content. 

recently, she’s caught a whiff of aether so enticing, so delicious that she’s can’t quite bring herself to think about anything else. 

she otw to eat Allan

more on naila!

Asclepius 2.0 (yet another shard of Allan)

Age: early 30s Gender: cis male Orientation: pansexual Eye colour: purple Hair colour: black Skin colour: brown Height: 209cm (6′10) Notable features: long scar across right cheek to right eye Job: ??? FSH

Brief bio:

bascially a reincarnated shard of asclepius that has fragmented memories of ancient times 

what shard who knows

he is vibing and just wants to fish 

was p much mistaken as one of the Fourteen upon recruitment but then they found out he’s just a normal dude back in ancient times so they just kept him subservient LKJASKLFj

more on asclepius 2.0!

OTHER:

Mahalina (Allan’s sister)

Age: appears late 20s/early 30s Gender: cis female Orientation: asexual panromantic Eye colour: emerald green Hair colour: magenta Skin colour: brown Height: 192cm (6′3) Notable features: very scarred up body, indicative of heavy torture. she wears heavy-duty make-up to hide burns on her face. Job: GNB

she’s a filthy pvper LKJAFSLKSJf

a big sister so she takes on responsibility a lot + has/had a lot of pressure from her mother when in sharlayan, so she can seem v snobbish and arrogant. she loosens up a bit during post-hw!

starts her search for allan during post-hw as well and finally finds him in post-sb T___T

then she suffers a near-fatal injury and disappears during ew... smadge...

more on mahalina!

OTHER BLOGS: @omnirush, @chacss

[starglitterz]

Quill :(( I'm so sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling well since the beginning of the year. Please don't push yourself too hard. I forgot where I picked up this mindset from, but I like to think that maybe you're just getting rid of all the bad stuff, so you get to enjoy the rest of the year >:)

Regardless!! I hope that you feel better soon and that things start looking up. If u need anything u can always hmu mwah

-Sher

sherry my love !!!! ( @souglias ) this is such a sweet msg, tysm for taking the time to send me this 🥺💗 i rlly appreciate it <3 and yes omg i totally agree w this !! i've been thinking along the lines of 'oh for every bad thing that happens that just means something good will happen to balance it out' smth like karma? HAHA idk it's probs just my copium 🥲 and thank u so much for the offer omg i def will!! ofc it's back at you too, pls feel free 2 hmu if you ever need anything or even if u just wanna chat (tho i will admit i am ass at replying fast HAHA) ily hope you're doing well bby!! pls take care, hope 2023 has been treating you well so far <3

also i sent u an ask for new year's but i'm not sure if tumblr ate it 😭 (i don't mean to pressure u to reply at all!! i just was worried that u might think i didn't want to wish u or anything KDSKD if it did get eaten by tumblr it's totally fine at least i have an excuse to drop by your ask box more LOL)

[wingedbeings]

i miss when you would interact with us -_-

help so so sory i have been v drained esp socialy lately but i promis i will be responding to all the asks soon and everythig </3

[crowtobio]

HELLO once again asking if anyone has any fic recs

[phoxxes]

hey guys, tw question in the tags

[arctic-urpo]

Hiya hiya, it’s time for me to properly talk abt LRTN - because I’ve talked about it here and there but nothing clear and concise abt my situation and my plans to continue etc, and in general it’s been on my mind. This will be 99% just explanation of my past, uh, over half a year though because this has also affected my friendships with people outside of this too and just, idk, I don’t like saying I feel like I owe an explanation bc I rly don’t, people have been kind and understanding and I appreciate it.

But I want to explain so if you wanna know why I haven’t been writing or answering messages, you should probs find the answer under the cut!!! Warnings though that I’m gonna be talking abt rly personal stuff and some kinda heavy things too, so no need to feel pressured to read! This is meant for those who want answers and not as a plea for attention or anything ^^;

Anyways....

I feel like I should start with the fact that most people following me and LRTN probs know already, but I have struggled with mental illness for.... a long time, half my life in fact. It isn’t something I came here to talk about, but it is related to tons of abuse from multiple sources etc. So please keep an open mind reading!

Anyways so over half a year ago, in November 2017, first of all NaNo happened. I could balance that out with LRTN, at first, but then in the mid of the month I started this uh, work practice experience thing. My vocabulary in English fails me here but, basically, it was this government funded project to help young people get into working life/back to “”””normal life”””” so basically rehab work. It was in a flower shop, owned by my grandma’s friend.

The work experience itself was incredibly pleasant, I loved the job and I loved my boss and she was rly nice to me all the time. But it was time and energy-consuming. And another problem with the work was that - as most of u probs know, I’m a trans guy. But I’m not out to my grandma yet bc she’s very religious and my mom has been so worried for my safety so... Anyways, so I couldn’t obviously be out in the workplace either. And my grandma would visit daily and it was mentally really rough for me.

To also explain, I have bad agoraphobia to begin with. I’m deathly scared of public spaces, wide places, strange people, talking to people and 99% of the time I can’t even go outside alone. Which was what this work was trying to give me rehab for. And it helped, it really did! But my grandma.... made it so much more difficult to manage my mental health bc it was an extra stress factor constantly. She has a way of words to make me feel useless too so, I kept feeling inadequate constantly when she was there and like I was doing things wrong.

Anyways!! That’s for the work part! But also, in the beginning of me starting work there, my friend’s dog who I had taken care of a lot and who was a huge part of my life, passed away sadly. I started seeing nightmares every night and losing sleep rapidly. I used to sleep 8-10 hours each night, but back then I started sleeping 4-6 and that’s continued up to this day and it’s been.... completely exhausting me. I’ll probs talk abt that more in detail but. To continue to this situation:

So, all in all, there was way too many things going on at once that November-December. Add onto that the holiday season which had a lot of relatives - a lot of my grandma too - and it has always been a bad time of the year for me. I managed to hang on by spending time with friends - a friend came to visit me for almost two weeks and that helped me keep myself together.

But also, I was supposed to look for another place to work at through this whole time, because my grandma’s friend had promised to take me only for the Christmas season bc after that she just wouldn’t have work for me due to a quiet season. I did apply for a few places but.... I couldn’t bring myself to put myself completely to it bc of all the phone calls which scare me just as much as going outside.

Anyways, Christmas comes and goes, I’m still somehow hanging on, and then we go on a trip with my friends. It was an amazing trip, I had fun with them, most of them live in other cities so I don’t see them often so I loved seeing them....!!

And then I went back home. Back home into my messy apartment, where I realized I’m almost always alone. And I had a huge breakdown. I stopped eating properly for a while - I can’t exactly give proper dates after this bc it’s been kind of ongoing with various intensity after that..... I go through periods of not eating, I haven’t been able to start sleeping bc I find it so hard to go to sleep, I keep waking up from nightmares - nightmares of various subjects, not rly abt by friend’s dog even but just... all sorts of bad things. 

And I haven’t had the energy to talk to anyone, keep up any relationships. There’s only one group chat where I talk daily, the group of friends I went on a trip with who I’ve known for years now. And even to them, I don’t talk privately! It’s only the group chat! Other group chat I talk semi-actively in is the group of friends in my city, who I go to shop with etc but... Again it’s only semi-actively that I manage to talk there either.

As you may guess, I couldn’t find a new place to work in the beginning of the year. After the trip, I went through weeks without answering any phone calls - my therapist helped me call off the rehab work bc clearly it wasn’t the best option anymore. But that sparked all sorts of money problems that have plagued me since then, and let’s just say things haven’t been great on that front. 

Middle of all of this, I did figure out I had a huge fear of silence, so I need to constantly have videos, games, music, something running so that there is noise. I also need to have something to do to distract my thoughts even further or I’ll start to spiral into negativity.......

I do go through periods of creativity, but it only sparks on the drawing front. So to get on the topic of LRTN! I haven’t written anything proper since November. I’ve started a few background stories for DnD OCs and I can’t even finish those! I write maybe a page and I have to drop it bc I can’t stand the silence, having only me and music and no video or game or anything. (As for why I don’t watch vids while writing, I can’t concentrate on writing if I hear like, speech or smth similar. I can’t listen to rap either when writing bc it’s too distracting.)

But kind of with writing and esp with LRTN has been the problem that, the longer time goes on, the more daunting it feels to return to it!!! I’m already in the spot that I would need to reread LRTN to continue writing it (to remember all the plot things planned and the characterization etc) and!!! I do plan on doing that!!! But I can’t, I just can’t take the silence while I’m reading so I’ve kind of been putting it off and off. For way too long. I’m trying to figure out a way around this, but I DO MEAN TO RETURN TO LRTN!!! That is certain!! I do intend to finish it, I need to get the story out after planning it for so long!!!

But that’s kind of the status quo on the LRTN’s part, I want to continue and with each kind comment my heart just keeps breaking bc  I just want to write it so bad!!!! I want to continue!!!! But I’m just so stressed out from the loneliness and silence that I can’t bring myself to write!!! 

But yeah I’m not saying this seeking answers, this is my personal problem and no one needs to feel bad abt any of this or feeling like you’re pressuring me. All the comments are rather just so kind and inspiring that I feel like the luckiest guy from time to time. So thank you to everyone, the commenters and ALSO ESPECIALLY FRIENDS who have been so understanding and nice and been by my side even when I’ve locked myself up from everyone just to cry and weep over how much I suck....

Anyways to kind of give a status update on what this breakdown has even been abt and why it’s been making me distance myself, it’s bc I’ve been dealing with feelings of worthlessness, fearing abandonment and also just not having plain energy to answer and then feeling like it’s scary to answer after so long has passed without me saying anything. I feel like I’m constantly late.

Also, to current situation, my mental health has been on the rise, which is why I’m talking about this in the first place bc I have the energy to explain properly! On the... life front though, my life has been kind of a void of me waking up, playing mobile games, not eating much, not sleeping much, and kind of being just a messy waste of space. My apartment is a mess, my financial situation is even more of a mess still bc the depression is making me waste any extra money on stupid stuff and then me sacrificing food and such to save money for rent etc. I was also declared “unfit to work” by the government on another paper but “fit to work” on another so now I’m kind of in the space where I’m not actually capable of working fulltime by my health but also being forced to work bc I don’t have the ~right diagnosis’~ to not work.....

SO!! It’s been kind of a whirlpool of stress!!! Anyways idk how to end this huge rant, thank you if you read all of this and I hope this shed some light on the situation????

If u ever wanna reach out to me, I still don’t answer private messages well but you’re free to try and I’ll try to answer to my best abilities, but I feel like asks are the easiest way to reach out to me right now bc those I do get to eventually bc they don’t feel as personal and so scary for my socially anxious mind, idk!!! But thank u for reading, for understanding and for caring abt dumb old me!!!!

[kireimarkeu]

retrouvailles; l.mk

THIS IS A REPOST!!!!

Summary: counting down the days until you finally see your long-distance boyfriend.

Mark is a jerk at one point. Also noticed how I put skype when they were calling through the phone and ft through laptop LOL

word count: 5.7k

Also lets pretend we can use spotify in korea ok

--Day 98

(10:33PM) Cutie: you idiot

(10:33PM) Cutie: answer my call!! You loserrrr

(10:34PM) You: omg give me a second

(10:35PM) You: ffs jshkdmj

(10:35PM) Cutie: omg what are you doing

(10:35PM) Cutie: why are you taking so long

(10:37PM) You: GIVE ME A SECOND 

(10:37PM) You: im taking food

You plop onto your bed, placing the  plate of grapes on the mattress, resulting in some to topple out of the bowl. You quickly pop one in your mouth before turning on your laptop. 

Before you could even call Mark, he was already requesting a facetime with you. You immediately answered. 

“Finally,” your boyfriend huffs when the call was finally connected. 

You hum, your hands searching for more grapes that has dropped on your bed sheets, popping them in your mouth. 

“What are you eating?” he asks. 

“Grapes,” your voice came out muffled from chewing, but Mark understands. 

“That’s what took you so long?” he frowns, “I can cut a watermelon in 5 seconds,”

“I didn’t ask,” you bite back. 

Your boyfriend automatically raises his hand to flash his middle finger while you did the same back at him. 

“What time is it there?” you ask him with raised eyebrows. 

You were studying in Korea but because of the virus, you had to go back to Canada. You didn’t know how long you would be staying, but Mark had promised you that he would make it work. 

“Um,” he looks at the clock that was a hanging next to him, “it’s 2:30PM here,” he answers, looking back at you, “It’s about 11 there, right?”

You nod.

“Don’t you have class tomorrow?” Mark asks. 

Lucky for you, your classes has changed to the local timing in Canada. Meaning, you don’t need to stay up at ungodly hours for your classes. 

“I think I can wake up tomorrow,”

“Do you want me to call you?”

“Please,” you pout.

Mark scowls jokingly at you, “the things I do for my girlfriend,”

You giggle innocently at your boyfriend, “I love you,” you make a heart with your hands, grinning at your laptop. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolls his eyes. 

--Day 90

“Babe, look up,” you call. 

Mark looks up to see you holding your phone up, obviously filming him through the screen. 

“What?”

He could hear you grinning from behind your phone.

“Smile,” you instruct. 

He grins awkwardly while you let out a snort from behind the screen. You put your phone down, typing something before looking back up at your boyfriend. 

“What did you do?” 

You look up at him, biting back a smile— to which you failed, “go check Instagram,”

Mark immediately opens Instagram to see that you had posted something on your private Instagram. Only him and the members are following your private account since your relationship is still private. 

He clicks on the bubble to see a video of him that you had recorded. When he smiles, his face morphed into a horse from of the filter you were using. Mark couldn’t help but chuckle at the funny effect. 

“Okay, that’s kinda funny,” he admits. 

He looks back up at you to see you holding your phone in front of your face again, probably trying another filter on him again. 

“Is this another ugly filter, again?” whines your boyfriend. 

You laugh, your phone not covering your face anymore, “it’s not!”

“Don’t lie,”

Your giggles got louder, “it’s not! I swear!”

“Fine,” he huffs. He straightens his back and stares at the camera, waiting for you to finish recording. 

You put your phone down re-watching the video, chuckles leaving your lips. 

“What filter did you use?”

“It’s on my insta, baby,”

He looks down on his phone again to see that you have posted another story. He immediately clicks on it to see it was an NCT filter. 

‘Who is your NCT Bias?’  Was written on top of his head.

Mark waits for the filter to show the result. He grimaced when he got Jeno. He swipes up to reply to your story to send you a message. 

markleeee99 replied to your story: ewww

--Day 87

(1:18PM) mwark: hello baby

(1:20PM) you: wht im having class rn

(1:20PM) mwark: so

(1:25PM) you: i have class??? go away loser

(1:25PM) mwark: :( I just wanna talk to my girlfriend tho :/

(1:27PM) you: later

(1:27PM) mwark: nooo 

(1:33PM) you: omg youre an idol why are you so free

(1:34PM) you: go dance or rap or smth

(1:34PM) mwark: babyyyy

(1:35PM) you: im putting my phone on dnd

(1:35PM) mwark: nooo

(1:35PM) mwark: babe

(1:40PM) mwark: did you actually leave me D:

(1:40PM) mwark: ok whatev

(1:40PM) mwark: I was about to send you something but I guess I won’t now

(1:40PM) mwark: are you still ignoring me????

(1:41PM) mwark: omg babe I was jst joking I’ll send you some gifts

(1:41PM) mwark: booo u suck :(

--Day 81

This time, it was slightly different. Instead of your usual late-night calls through the computer, you had immediately skype him through your phone when you had received a package from Korea. 

“You got me something?” you ask loudly when your boyfriend answered your call. 

“Jeez, hello to you too, babe,” he rolls his eyes, “and yea, did it arrive?”

“What did you get me? And what type of shipping did you choose? It arrived so quickly,” 

The box was pretty heavy, so you had to put your phone down to place the huge box on the counter before bringing your phone back into view. 

“Express, I paid like extra,” Mark answers, eyeing you through the screen.

You click your tongue, opening the drawer to take out a knife, “stop wasting your money, you dumbass,”

Mark didn’t reply, instead he waits for you to open the package.

You let out a sigh, “what did you get me this time?”

You open the cardboard box, a navy-blue hoodie covering the top of it. You pull it out, looking at Mark who has a smile plastered on his face. 

“Is this your hoodie?!” you squeal, putting it on yourself. 

Your heart melt when the familiar scent fills your nostrils. It smells just like Mark. 

“Canada is getting cold isn’t it? Keep yourself warm, baby,”

You lean over to take everything out from the box. Mark had given you his half-used cologne that he uses on a daily.

“I bought a new one just so I could give you mine,” he tells you, a playful smirk on his lips. 

He had also packed some of your favourite Korean snacks, and some that you haven’t tried before. Along with some matching phone cases for the both of you. 

“Now I feel bad I didn’t get anything for you,” you frown., pulling the hoodie over your head.

“Don’t be,” he reassures you, “being able to see you is already enough,”

You scrunch your nose in disgust, “cringey, Mark-ie,”

“Fuck you,” he chuckles, flashing his middle finger at you. 

Your eyes widen when he cursed, “my mom’s home, you idiot!”

You laugh loudly when Mark’s eyes widen in surprise, both his hands covering his mouth. 

“Y/N?” you hear your mom call from the living room, “who are you talking to?”

Before you could even reply, your mother was walking towards you. 

“It’s Mark,” you answer as your mother got into frame to see Mark. 

“Mark! It has been a while, how’s Korea?”

Your boyfriend greeted your mom politely, a grin plastered on his face. Your mom was about to reach for your phone to talk to Mark, but you frown and pull away. 

“Noo, I wanna talk to Mark,”

You gathered the gifts Mark had given you in your arms before skipping up the stairs to your room, to spend the whole day (night for him) with him.

--Day 80

“Yo, Mark, there’s some food left outside, do you want it?” you heard Johnny ask from through the screen. 

Mark turns to look at the intruder, “knock next time, dude,” groans Mark. 

“Is that y/n?” 

Johnny suddenly enters the frame with a gummy grin, waving enthusiastically at you.

“Hi Johnny, how are you?” you smile, waving back at the older boy. 

Just when Johnny was about to get comfortable on Mark’s bed, your boyfriend let out string of whines, moving his phone until you could only see his cheeks. 

“Ah, that’s enough,” your boyfriend says in annoyance, “y/n is tired, goodnight, baby.”

You  couldn’t even reply because Mark had already ended the skype call. 

You pout, opening your messenger to send a text to your boyfriend. 

(7:35PM) You: heyyy why’d you end the call? ):

(7:36PM) Bubba: sorry

(7:36PM) Bubba: johnny was being annoying

(7:36PM) You: he wasn’t tho ):

(7:36PM) You: can we call again?

(7:38PM) Bubba: sorry angel

(7:38PM) Bubba: johnny wants me to go make music

(7:38PM) Bubba: later tonight?

(7:38PM) You: oky

(7:42PM) You: love u!

(7:42PM) Bubba: love u too 

(7:42PM) Bubba: <3

--Day 76

You were in the middle of facetiming mark when your phone vibrates from a text. You raise your eyebrows, thinking it was Mark. 

(12:11AM) Johnny: hey

(12:11AM) Johnny: I need to ask you something

(12:13AM) You: yeah?

(12:13AM) Johnny: is mark okay lately?

(12:13AM) You: he seems fine to me, why? Did something happen?

(12:14AM) Johnny: I don’t know if I should tell you about this

(12:14AM) Johnny: but

(12:14AM) Johnny: youre the only one who can probably help him

(12:14AM) You: help him with what?

You look up at your laptop to see that Mark’s eyes was still glued on his phone. Probably playing some games. 

(12:17AM) Johnny: he hasn’t been eating lately

(12:19AM) Johnny: he doesn’t really tell us stuff anymore so I was wondering you would’ve known something?

(12:22AM) You: oh

(12:22AM) You: he hasn’t told me anything

(12:23AM) You: I’ll talk to him about it

(12:25AM) You: thanks johnny :)

“Hey,” you jump at your boyfriend’s voice. You snap your head to look at your boyfriend who was already staring at you with curious eyes. “What are you so busy with?”

You clear your throat, shaking your head, tossing your phone to the side. 

“I wanna ask you something,” you say.

“Whats up?”

You scratch your head, unsure of how to put it into words without offending your boyfriend. You knew he hated being babied but you still want to care for him. He was your other half, after all. 

“Have you been eating well lately?”

You could sense Mark was stunned by the random question. He looks away from your wary eyes. 

“Who told you?”

“Mark—”

“It was Johnny wasn’t it?” he cuts you off in anger. “God damn it, this is why I don’t want you talking to my friends,”

Why was he making this such a big deal?

“Mark I was just asking a simple question, why are you acting this way?” you argued back. 

He shakes his head, threading his fingers through his black hair stressfully. 

“I need to go Y/N,” sighs your boyfriend, “Goodnight,”

“Mark—” you were too late. Mark had already ended the call. 

A heavy sigh left your lips as you lied down on your bed. 

You weren’t sure if you should text him or give him space. Should you apologize? Was it your fault for bringing it up?

After thinking for a while, you decided to send him a text. 

(8:33PM) You: hi baby. I was just asking because I was worried about you. I know you hate it when I baby you, but I’m just looking out for you. I didn’t mean to bother you

(8:33PM) You: please don’t blame your friends for this. 

(8:36PM) You: I’m sorry, okay?

(8:40PM) You: I just want you to eat healthily. I’m not there to take care of you and I just want you to be healthy.

(8:47PM) You: just text me whenever so we can talk this out

(8:57PM) You: goodnight, mark

--Day 75

(12:03PM) Lovey: hey

(12:03PM) Lovey: I was thinking and realised how selfish I acted towards you

(12:05PM) Lovey: I know you were just looking out for me and I was just wasn’t in the mood because of how stressful it has been

(12:05PM) Lovey: please don’t apologize. Its my fault

(12:15PM) You: why haven’t you been eating?

(12:15PM) Lovey: comeback

(12:15PM) Lovey: I’m trying to lose some cheeks for this comeback

(12:30PM) Lovey: sorry for worrying you

(12:31PM) You: whaa…

(12:33PM) You: but you know my favourite part of your face is your cheeks D:

(12:33PM) Lovey: :(

(12:33PM) You: will you start eating again?

(12:35PM) You: im not going to force you, mark. It’s really up to you. 

(12:35PM) Lovey: im eating right now

(12:35PM) You: what are you eating

(12:38PM) Lovey: cereal

(12:38PM) Lovey: and um some left over sushi from yesterday

(12:38PM) You: ohhh sounds delicious

(12:40PM) You: okay I wont disturb you anymore, have fun eating bby

As you were about to put your phone away but there was an incoming videocall from your boyfriend. A small chuckle left your lips as you answered the call.

­--Day 73

“Yo, did you see it?!” was the first thing Mark had asked you when you answered his call. 

You raise your eyebrows in confusion, sitting up from your laying position, “see what?”

“We just posted a new dance practice; did you not see it?” his eyes widen dismay. 

You shook your head, grabbing your laptop from the table, placing it on your lap, “nope, my phone was on dnd,”

“How did you answer my call, then?”

“You’re in my favourites dumbass,” 

You type in your password before searching YouTube and clicking on the video that your boyfriend was talking about. 

While watching the video, you placed your phone resting on the laptop so Mark could see your face. Throughout the whole video, you were singing softly to the song. 

“Did you see that?! Did you see it?” Mark suddenly yells through the screen during the dance break part. 

You jump a little, “what? What? What did I miss?”

He groans at you, “the bracelet! Johnny dropped it!”

“Huh?” you press the arrow to repeat it again and you noticed how Johnny’s bracelet fell while he was dancing. 

“Wait a little more, I picked it up! Like a professional!”

You waited a little longer and your boyfriend was right. While he was getting into position, your boyfriend had swept the bracelet in his hands. 

You grin, “proud of you, babe,”

You wanted to continue watching but your laptop started lagging from the terrible wi-fi. You groan in annoyance, pressing pause, hoping it would reload but it only hangs even more. 

“God damnit, this fucking wi-fi,”

“Should I buy you a router? Or a new laptop?” he jokes. 

--Day 71

(9:02PM) You: hey wanna call?

(9:02PM) You: today was so stressful I just wanna talk to you

(10:12PM) You: ahh you must be busy with comeback

(9:32PM) You: sorry babe! We’ll jst call tmr? :)

(9:33PM) You: love u! make sureee u drink lots of water <3

-Day 67

Mark lets out an aspirated sigh as he answers your facetime call. “What, Y/N?”

You frown at the way he greets you. He was moody probably because he just finished practicing. 

You could tell from how he was laying on his bed without a shirt on, or how he would repeatedly thread his fingers through his black locks. 

“I just wanted to talk to you,” you mumble out softly, your eyes softening, feeling guilty that you were disturbing him. 

You bit your lip anxiously when Mark simply sighs, rolling his eyes slightly, “should we just call another time?” 

He sighs once more, moving around until he lays on his side, “no, no, what’s up?”

You felt a little hesitant, unsure if he was being sarcastic or not. Mark wasn’t the type to approach something if he doesn’t like it, he would just go with the flow. 

You shook your head, laying back down onto your bed, “No, you’re tired and I shouldn’t be disturbing you right now.”

Mark opens his mouth but you cut him off, “Sorry, Mark. Goodnight.”

You quickly end the call with a heavy heart, throwing your phone next to you. You knew you shouldn’t be expecting an incoming call from your boyfriend, but you shamelessly waited for his specific ringtone. 

It did break your heart a little when you didn’t get any response from your boyfriend. 

That night, you had spent your time watching Netflix with tears rolling down your cheeks. 

-Day 62

“Y/N?”

A choked sob left your throat, your hands wiping the tears running down your cheeks. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Johnny’s voice filled your ears. 

You gulp as your heart clench painfully when you hear Mark’s laughter in the background. 

“Y/N, d-do you want me to pass the phone to Mark?”

“N-no,” you quickly say out, pausing a little. Hiccups leaving your lips, “d-don’t… please,”

“Okay?” Johnny replies in uncertainty, “Are you… okay? Should I beat Mark up?” he jokes. 

You couldn’t bring yourself to smile. “How is he doing?” you whisper, but Johnny could hear very clearly. 

You assumed that he had moved somewhere else since you can’t hear the boys screaming in the background. 

“Did something happen?” Johnny asks, “I’m not with them right now, so you can tell me.”

You remember the last time you had last talked to Mark.

It has been exactly 5 days since the both of you last texted— or even called. You weren’t sure why or how it happened. 

It had taken a big toll on you— you couldn’t focus during lessons and you had spent most of the nights wide awake, thinking what had gone wrong. You had contemplated multiple times whether you should send him a text, but every time you push yourself to say something, you would always remember how busy he is. 

“We haven’t been talking for a while,” you answer painfully, “but he’s doing fine, right?”

You hope he’s doing fine.

You hear Johnny lets out an agitated sigh, “Don’t worry Y/N, I’ll go talk to him, okay?”

“Just… don’t stress him out even more.”

“I won’t. Just… stop crying over him, okay?” he says, “Mark is an idiot, he’s not worth crying over.”

A small giggle leaves your lips, “you sound like a girl right now,”

-Day 61

(12:12AM) Mark: hey babe

(12:12AM) Mark: johnny just talked to me about what happened

(12:13AM) Mark: can we talk?

(12:45AM) You: okay

(12:45AM) Mark: great, I’ll call you

(12:45AM) You: no

(12:46AM) You: we’ll text

(12:46AM) You: here

You just know that you would be a sobbing mess once you hear Mark’s voice. 

(12:46AM) Mark: oh

(12:46AM) Mark: okay

(12:46AM) Mark: youre okay tho

(12:47AM) Mark: right

(12:52AM) You: mhm

(12:52AM) Mark: that’s great um

(12:52AM) Mark: i didn’t know you were feeling that way

(12:53AM) Mark: i’ve been so busy lately i forgot to text or call you

(12:53AM) Mark: and that is not your fault at all

(12:53AM) Mark: i shouldn’t be acting like that in the first place

(12:54AM) Mark: its just really hard with timezones and everything

(12:54AM) Mark: especially with the comeback and all

(12:54AM) You: what are you saying mark?

(12:55AM) Mark: what?

(12:58AM) You: are you breaking up with me?

(12:58AM) Mark: wat? no. what.

(12:58AM) You: wait so we’re not breaking up?

(12:58AM) Mark: what

(12:58AM) Mark: no of course not what are you saying?

(12:59AM) You: I DON’T KNOW 

(12:59AM) You: i thought you wanted to break up

(12:59AM) Mark: no I don’t want to what the fuck

(12:59AM) You: so we’re good now right?

-Day 51

 Soft melodies were playing in the background while the both of you were doing different things. 

You were sitting on your chair, your elbows pressing painfully against your desk, working on your homework diligently. Your phone was perched on your lamp, making sure Mark could see your face.

Your boyfriend was laying on his bed with a notebook laying in front of him, a pen in his hand while he thought of lyrics. He had his legs swinging back and forth behind him cutely. 

You exhale loudly as you re-read the same question over and over again. 

Mark immediately looks up, “you okay?”

You hum without even looking at him before you continued doing your work. 

Mark decides to leave you alone as to not distract you. He rests his cheek against his arm as he tries to think of another sentence to finish the song he was working on. 

His eyes slowly dart towards you who had their eyebrows furrowed cutely, a pout plastered on your lips, baby hairs littering against your forehead and cheeks. 

Without even realising, a small smile spreads across Mark’s lips. His breath slows down as he relaxed and stares at your figure. 

Multiple sentences that could be used as lyrics flooded through his head. He quickly sits up to write the flood of inspiration that was bursting through his veins. 

-Day 43

(2:53AM) boyfie: duuudee!!

(2:53AM) boyfie: vlive!!

(2:53AM) boyfie: quick!!!!!

(3:15AM) You: omg ok give me a sec

(3:15AM) You: I just woke up

With a yawn, you open the vlive app and click on the NCT127 page to enter the live your boyfriend was doing. 

‘Hi’ you type in the comment section. You stare at your boyfriend, scanning his facial expression to notice your comment. 

Exactly 5 seconds later, a huge grin spreads across his lips as he looks up at the camera to wave. 

It eased you to know that he was waving at you, for you. Maybe you were being selfish, but you were glad that Mark was yours. Although it does get on your nerves when you see your friends post about how much he loves your boyfriend. 

‘mark is so handsome’ you typed. 

Unfortunately, Mark didn’t notice your comment, but Donghyuck did. Donghyuck nudges your boyfriend, who immediately responded, turning to look at him. 

His friend showed him your comment, which your boyfriend immediately smiles to. 

‘I love mark lee so much!!!’

A few seconds later Mark creates a small heart at the camera before looking away with crimson red cheeks. 

-Day 38

“So you and Mina, huh?” you say bitterly, rolling your eyes. 

You were referring to the interaction between the two when Mina was leaving music bank. You might’ve been slightly jealous of the chemistry between the two, especially when all the fans would ship the both of them.

Mark can only watch you in amusement, a small smile playing along his lips. 

“Is she better than me?” you say sarcastically, clicking your tongue, 

You envied their friendship. Someone who was merely a friend was able to see your boyfriend so easily. 

His face softens, “you know she’s not like that, baby,” his tone was soft, easy to persuade you. 

Baby. You wanted to scoff at that. He only used that term when he was trying to win your heart. 

You huff, crossing your arms violently. “You’re always with her!”

He chuckles, looking down at his phone before looking back up at you quickly.

You pout at the boy through the screen, “you love me more, right Mark?”

He sarcastically rolls his at your question. What kind of question was that?

His face scrunches in disgust, “Firstly, I don’t even love Mina that way, babe,” he tells you, “and secondly, the only person I love you, alright? So stop being jealous you wimp.”

“Wimp?” you scoff, “and you’re my boyfriend?”

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Just as you were about to respond to him, your phone vibrated with a notification. You look down and gaped. 

_happiness_o wants to send you a message.

“Mark…”

You unlocked your phone to see the message that Mina was trying to send you.

“You told her?!” you exclaimed, looking up at your boyfriend who was stifling  his laughter. “Mark! Why would you do that?!” you whine, throwing your phone next to you. 

“In my defence, I didn’t tell her to send you a text,” he says, “I was just talking about how cute you were being!”

-Day 22

You were laying on your side, deep in a slumber while Mark stares at you lovingly. 

Your cheek pressed cutely against your pillow which made your lips pout cutely. The little pieces of hair adorning your temples and cheeks only made Mark want to push it back against your ear. Something he would do every time you were sleeping with him. 

He suddenly got an idea and fishes out his phone, searching a filter that he had saved for this particular moment.

He clicks on the filter, waiting for it to load for a moment, before adjusting the angle so the filter could scan his face properly. Once he was sure it won’t budge, he presses record. 

‘your soulmate is sleeping right now’

A sad smile adorns his lips, looking at you through the screen. He flips the camera, zooming into your sleeping form then ending the video. 

Mark was quite hesitant to post it since he was never the type to post about his relationship with you. But these past few days has been hitting him differently. 

He missed you so much, he swore he could go crazy. He had spent another unreasonable amount on you again. He couldn’t even sleep because you were always stuck on his mind.

He bit his lip anxiously before posting the video on his Instagram story. He noticed how your phone vibrated right when it was uploaded— you had his notifications on.

-Day 15

“So it’s gonna be forever~” you sing loudly, pointing your hairbrush to Mark who was laughing loudly through the screen. 

“Or it’s gonna go down in flames…” he sings off tune. 

While you were busy singing and dancing from all Taylor Swift’s song, Mark had stealthily recorded you with his phone to upload them on his private Instagram. 

‘idiot. But my idiot’ he captioned before tagging you and posting it on his page. 

“Sing with me, Mark!” you shout, looking at your boyfriend. “Cherry lips, crystal skies, I could show you incredible things,” you sang, pointing at Mark. 

Your boyfriend blushes when he realizes you were singing to him. 

You cough loudly before clearing your throat after blaring out lyrics to Taylor swift. You reach for your cup of water before gulping it down. 

“What song should we sing to next?” you ask, scrolling down through you and Mark’s playlist. The both of you had shared one account ever since he found out the both of you shared the same music taste. 

“Should we do a rap?” he suggests. 

You smirk up at him, “oooh, because you’re a rapper, huh? Okay, okay.”

You thumb press on ‘Beauty and a Beat’ by Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj. 

“I’m a better rapper than you, Mark Lee,” you shout at your boyfriend before rapping to Nicki Minaj’s part. 

It was so adorable at how you stumbled over some words, or when you had your eyebrows furrowed trying to rap to the lyrics.

At this moment, Mark thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. You had your hair tied up in the ugliest bun he has ever seen, but you looked so adorable, especially in the huge t-shirt you were wearing. But most importantly, the huge grin plastered on your lips and tint of red adorning your cheeks, puts a smile on Mark’s face.

Right when the song has ended, you let out a tired sigh, lying against your bed. 

“Am I better than you, Markie?”

He bit back a smile and nodded, “you should replace me in NCT, babe,”

You pretend to think, “I should, shouldn’t I?”

-Day 7

You were talking about Mark about your friend who had pissed you off earlier today.

He shrugs, “honestly, I saw that coming. I never liked her,”

You groan, throwing your head back, “I know right,” you stress, “I should’ve listened to you,”

Mark rests his cheek against his palm, “so what are you going to do?”

You pout, “I don’t know. What should I do, Mark?”

Your boyfriend hums, thinking for a while, “I think it’s best if you cut her off. She doesn’t deserve you, babe.”

You let out an aspirated sigh, frowning. “she was just a close friend…” you trailed off sadly. 

“I know, baby,” he coos, “but your mental health is important too.”

Your eyes widen cutely, “I love you,”

That caught your boyfriend off-guard, his eyes widen in awe. “w-what, don’t be weird!” he sputters out.

“You’re weird!” you bite back. 

-Day 3

“Mark,” you call out, your boyfriend immediately humming. “I learnt a new tiktok dance,”

He raises his eyebrows. He has never downloaded Tiktok but he knows how much you love the app. Most of the time the both of you were calling, you would be scrolling through the app, sending him links of videos that you found funny. 

It was a secret: Mark never actually watches the video. But you do not need to know that. 

“Show me, baby,”

You stood up, adjusting your laptop in a decent position. You reach for your phone to play the music before you started dancing. 

Mark recognized the song as Savage. It was a song that Taeyong would constantly play. 

Your boyfriend’s eyes widen in bewilderment, amazed at how good you were at dancing.

“Woah, woah,” he gapes when you started throwing back. 

When the song ended, you ambled towards your laptop, “how was it? Was I good? Was I as good as Taeyong and Johnny?”

He rolls his eyes at that, “do you do it to other people?”

“What?”

“The throwing back thing,”

Ah. He was jealous. 

You shrug, looking away from his intense gaze, “I don’t know. I was planning to ask some of my friends about their opinion.”

“Y/N,” he says sternly.

“I was joking! Jeez. You’re such a party pooper.” 

-Day 2

You laid on your side, your arm supporting your head. A movie was playing on your laptop screen but you could only stare at Mark’s face. 

He was busy laughing at one of the scenes but you couldn’t focus from his handsome face. 

He was wearing the ugly black glasses that he chose a few weeks ago, but he still looked so good in your eyes. His black hair was styled messily from laying around.

“Babe, are you watching?” his eyes widen cutely after sensing how quiet you were being. 

“I am,” you mumble out, but your eyes never leaved your boyfriend’s screen.

“Okay,” he whispers, resting his body as he continued watching the movie that was played on the screen. 

At this moment in time, you wanted to tell Mark how much you love him. You wanted to smother him in kisses.

“Mark,” you called. You realise how he had paused the movie that was playing to listen to you. “I love you,” you tell him. 

Mark was frozen for a second, confused yet flustered by your sudden confusion. He smirks, playing the movie, “weirdo. I love you too, you cutie.”

-Day 1

(11:01PM) bub: babyyyy hiiiii

(11:01PM) bub: wanna call ;)

(11:05PM) bub: hello why r u not replying

(11:05PM) bub: it’s only 11 there

(11:10PM) bub: I know youre not asleep babe

(11:10PM) bub: arghhh

(11:10PM) bub: are you asleep????

(11:10PM) bub: :(

(11:10PM) bub: well ok gn bb I’ll talk to you tmr

(11:10PM) bub: love youuuu

D-DAY

You were laying on Mark’s bed restlessly, waiting for your boyfriend to reach his dorm. When you heard the door unlock, a grin spread across your lips when you saw your boyfriend walk in. 

“Hi Mark,” you greet, waving at your boyfriend.

Mark looks up at you and nods, “hi y/n,” he says back before turning the other way to go to the bathroom.

You bit back a smile quietly, giving him a minute to realise. You quietly stood up by the bed to amble towards your boyfriend.

“Wait,” he pauses, turning around slowly, his eyes widening at the sight of you walking up to him, “w-what? Is this real? y/n?”

You smile at him, spreading your arms, waiting for him to tackle you in a hug. “I’m here, baby.”

“Oh my god,” he breathes out before rushing towards you to pull you against his chest. “You’re here, oh my god,”

You rest your head on his chest, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. You’ve missed the moment for so long. For more than 3 months, you had to live without Mark’s presence.

He pulls you away, his hand gripping your shoulder tightly. “How— what are you doing here?!” he exclaims. 

Your cheeks were hurting from smiling so much, “to see you, of course!”

“You surprised me!” he exclaims, pulling you in for another hug, “oh my god, you scared me so much, I love you so much. When did you get here? You didn’t answer my texts yesterday!”

“I love you too and I was in the plane, I couldn’t text you back,” you reply, however your voice was muffled by the black cotton shirt he was wearing. You pull away, looking up at him, “are you not going to kiss me?” you asked abruptly.

He looks down at you with wide eyes, “w-what. That is so sudden, don’t say that!” he stutters out, looking away from you. 

You pout at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, “what? I came all the way here, didn’t get enough sleep just to see my boyfriend but he won’t kiss me?”

He scowls at you, his arm dropping to rest around your waist. He leans down to connect both your lips. You felt your heart spark when you felt his lips graze against yours. 

You didn’t even realise you were pulling him down even more to kiss him deeper. Mark’s grip on your waist tightened, pulling you even closer. 

“Ah, the kids have finally met,” you heard someone say from behind you two. 

Mark and you pull away breathlessly, his lips tinted a bright shiny red. The both of you turn around to see Taeil standing at the door. 

Your boyfriend whines, “Go away, Hyung,”

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi! I love everything that you write and heh I am a fan! 😄 tbh this is my first time requesting something on Tumblr! If you don't mind and if I am not being a bother...can you write about how the guys would react If MC suddenly starts making meme references? I don't know how I got the idea but I am REALLY curious. And love you! :D

Hiya! Tyvm for the kind words, and apologies that this took a while! I hope you have the chance to enjoy it regardless ❤️❤️❤️ Love you too, sweet pea! I promise to get to the next request you’ve sent ASAP~

Aight but this would be hilarious because the range of the reactions is just ungodly. I will be putting this under a cut after Napoleon so I don’t clog up everyone’s dash, but all the suitors are included below otherwise! 

Comte is the one that recognizes a few, but didn’t really stay in modern times long enough to be as well-versed as a Gen Z kid might. Regardless he finds the wittiness and absolute chaotic fuckery to be delightful, and will 100% support the harmless nonsense. It never fails to get a laugh out of him

Mozart that first day be like: “Buzz off MC I hate you” MC, because she likes swinging bats at wasps’ nests: “Well that’s not very cash money of you” Mozart: ?????????? Comte, giggling in the bg like the secret fae he is This one’s just because I’m petty, but after the events of Comte rt I just imagine them encountering Vlad again and MC’s just “I lived bitch.” while Comte is flipping him off behind her lkjahgkjhdsg

Comte @ Leo when he finds the latter under his desk: Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.  MC: wheezing from the hallway as she’s about to give him his letters

MC: So how was your day, honey? Comte: Good, good--briefly had to go beastmode upon the punk that pilfered my lint roller MC, biting her lip to keep from laughing: So does Leo still have his kneecaps? Comte: for now.

Comte, @ literally anyone upsetting the MC: I won’t hesitate, bitch

Comte: Be careful with my emotional baggage, it’s designer

MC: What if I was evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds Comte: My arms are strong, I would catch and hug you

Leo and Dazai are the ones that don’t have a single reference point but are filled with so much dumbass chaos energy that they just. Understand immediately???? Nobody knows how or why, but they just catch on so fast--adapt the language in a matter of weeks. Never underestimate the power of combined boredom, depression, and humor

I swear to god I just see MC taking them their Blanc/Rouge and being like “here you go sir, one enslaved moisture” and they just go fucking hog wild from day one. MC starts impersonating Theo when he leaves the room around Dazai, like fake deep voice “you all only hate me because you do not like me and I am mean to you. grow up.” Or like the MC meets a baby on her travels with Leo around town and she holds them and says v seriously and sagely “So you are Baby? I have heard tales of your exploits.” and Leo about loses his shit right there. They both think MC is the funniest person alive--they’ve never been more eager to throw a ring at someone in their entire life.

Also a bonus for my beloved Dazai:  MC, facing even the slightest inconvenience (like dropping her fork) in the most dramtic voice possible: Life is not daijoubu. Dazai: wheezing

MC, after watching Theo turn down a woman at the bar in the meanest way possible: bro quit letting the darkness consume you u r scaring the hoes Dazai, literally rolling around on the ground, half-drunk and dying:

MC, walking alongside Dazai and stopping to stare at her reflection in the River Seine. Dazai’s expecting some sad or twisted shit, since people often feel comfortable talking about those things around him, but instead she just: “Oh, it’s you. The source of all my problems.” And he about falls into the river from shock HAHAHA

At this point don’t be surprised if his next book is about an absolute madlad woman similar to MC

Napoleon finds it to be a delightful quirk more than anything? He doesn’t really understand it, but he finds it funny when they change their voice for effect or speak in exaggerated tones. If it’s just comprehensible enough for an outsider to understand--or Sebas gives him context--chances are it’ll send him into a laughing fit

For this one I just imagine MC singing that Ratatouille meme song obnoxiously bad while cooking, and Napoleon and Comte are just so wildly amused by it bc it makes zero sense and it’s only vaguely French at this point

MC @ Napoleon while they’re cooking brunch: Can I offer you a nice egg in these trying times?

MC, conflicted because she’s tired and wanted to sleep in but also got to see Napo’s cute sleeping face for a few hours: For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5AM on the day I can sleep in. Sebas: Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise MC: early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch Napoleon: laughing in agreement

Isaac is the type to be bewildered and concerned at first (especially when he hears the more nihilistic ones hoOOOoooOO BOY) but eventually begins to understand it’s some bizarre attempt at humor (that hurts Zack baby). While some part of him laments that it reminds him of Dazai and he’s secretly jealous of how she and Dazai bond over it, he will sometimes join in the chaos when the mood strikes him and he’s feeling mischievous

Isaac: How are you feeling? MC: Oh, I’m not Isaac: seconds from dialing 911 Isaac: Are you okay? MC: Oh yeah dw I just suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes you look like you’re an angry serial killer Isaac: say sike rn

Isaac, tutoring MC and correcting something:  MC, muttering while redoing it: The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math. Isaac: unable to help a laugh

One time MC was avoiding Isaac for fear of hurting his feelings and he just confronts her like: Isaac: back by unpopular demand, me! What’s wrong, MC pls MC was so hecking proud of him

Isaac, telling MC about a recent discovery he learned at uni from another professor: bones typically heal stronger after they’ve been broken--so long as they’re set properly, of course MC, looking him dead in the eyes: So what you’re saying is that I should break every bone in my body until I become superhumanly powerful? Isaac: please do not, no

Mozart and Jeanne are just. Totally lost. Why are you talking like that??? Why are you making “crab hands”???? They don’t understand. Maybe never will. They reach a point where they just kind of laugh and shake their heads, endeared by the oddity after they’re used to it and have determined it isn’t a threat/insult. 

MC: It’s a cold and it’s a brooooken, Waluigi. Waaaaluigiiiii...waaaahluigi..... Mozart: surprised, then starts snickering and playing along on the piano

Arthur, asking MC very personal questions out loud because he is an idiot sometimes: Soooo MC, are you a top or a bottom? MC: I’m a threat. (If he asks a second time, the response will be “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.”) Jeanne, fighting a smile:

MC, about to punch an asshole: Your free trial of being alive has ended Jeanne, seconds from laughing for the first time in 100 years:

Also, because I genuinely can’t help myself. You know that knight meme like “Parry this you fucking casual.” I cannot stress enough that it is literally the personification of Jeanne’s entire character. I’m not even joking.

Arthur and Shakespeare are utterly fascinated by the rapid evolution of wordplay and the sheer hilarity. They will ask all about these so-called “memes” and ask for examples of them if MC can show them (either somehow accessing her phone or drawing them). MC draws Arthur the knife cat meme and he about a s c e n d s at the hilarity of it all, points and yells THEO IS HOLDING THE KNIFE. He is correct. They will be delighted and follow along eagerly, and--god forbid--will make their own based on late 19th century struggles.

Is this where Shakespeare got the idea for “What, you egg? stabs him” and “You are a saucy boy.”? I’m too scared to ask. Don’t even get me started on “The Fool jingled miserably across the floor.” That one is just too on the nose...

I can’t even imagine what would happen to Shakespeare if MC like translated vines and memes into Ye Olde English around him. Imagine she’s at one of those noble balls and hears rumors of these two guys living together and they’re so obviously gay and he says “And those gents w’re roommates.” And in the most false surprised tone ever MC just replies “oh mine own god, those gents w’re roommates.” Imagine having a wife that’s just as hilarious as you are and hits you with all the force of a bag of wet mice every time you speak in retaliation, he’s going into palpitations.

Every time Arthur does smth stupid MC just: “I Pretend I Do Not See It.”

Vincent is tickled pink by MC’s penchant for finding joy and/or amusement in nearly everything they do, and he smiles gently when he sees them muttering and laughing to themselves. He wants to be able to join them in what they love, but he has a harder time following along and understanding the darker humor sometimes. Mostly gets confused??? Please give him the easier ones to mimic and laugh when he tries--or just include him in your jokes MC. He’s babie your honor...

But he also. Will not. Stand any kind of self-deprecation or borderline verbal self-harm. He’s usually very easygoing and calm, but for whatever reason that stuff makes him go deathly quiet and upset.

MC, after something goes horribly wrong, hugging Vincent: Oh Vince, we really in it now Vincent: giggling a little despite his worries, relaxing

MC: Theo stop simping for Vincent that’s my job

MC, when Theo leaves the room and she gets Vincent all to herself: The evil is defeated.

MC: And this is where I would put my will to live...if I h a d one! Vincent: ;-; MC: oh shit, oh fuck, I was only kidding Vincent wait (MC was subsequently lectured and loved on for many hours)

Theo is conflicted because on the one hand, he loves to see you smiling and having fun. On the other, you’re clowning as hard as Dazai and Arthur and he can only handle so many monkeys in his circus. Most of the time he will roll his eyes and be the straight man of this comedy, but you might find him cracking a smile--or accidentally letting a chuckle slip past his lips now and again.

MC, after meeting Theo: I’m a nice person, but I’m about to start throwing rocks at people.

Theo, those first days: Oh? You’re approaching me? Instead of running away, you’re coming right to me? MC: I can’t beat the shit out of you without getting closer.

Theo: Every time I ask MC to explain “vibe check” to me she hits me with some kind of improvised weapon

MC, after the “incident” (you know the one): This year, I lost my dear lover Theo Theo, in the distance: QUIT TELLING EVERYONE I’M DEAD! MC: ;-; sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Sebastian is last because oh boy. OH BOYYYYY I LOVE HIM. Okay so the way I see this happening with Sebastian is just. So wild. Because at first he’s t r y i n g so hard to be the proper butler man. He does not meme. But then he starts to drift closer to what Niles from The Nanny was, where he’ll quip and joke in private or when the situation is just beyond the amount of absurdity he can handle without making a snarky comment. Everyone in the house can’t fathom how Sebas and MC got so close so fast, but there are points where they’re just “Are they even speaking English anymore???” It’s 11 times funnier than normal because Sebas almost never smiles or laughs when memeing, the deadpan quality of his playing along sends MC every time

Has ABSOLUTELY said “HEY. PANINI HEAD. ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME???” jokingly when MC made a mistake in the kitchen. They laugh about it for y e a r s

MC: I can’t date someone who keeps a lamb as a pet, that’s so weird Sebas, brushing Lotte in front of MC: MC: MC: Okay, I will make an exception because she looks very polite

MC and Sebas, fully aware of the fame some of the men will reach in modern times: We will watch your career with great interest.  (I s2g that’s like half of Sebas’ rt right there I’m crying)

Sebas rt with Lotte be like that 500 dollar Mareep meme: “sometimes a family can be just a boy, his gf, and their 500 dollar two foot tall Lotte”

[by-kilian]

(if this ask makes u uncomfortable in any way, feel free to ignore it, delete it, whatever u need to do. ur happiness matters more to me than anything else. however, i am specifically sending this not on anon, despite my incessant urge to do so as i barely ever send off anon, to give u the chance to reply to this privately if u want to. but that is if u want to! i don’t need, or want, anything from u. ur comfort outweighs any sort of recognition or interaction. i am also extremely unsure if this is gonna send properly bc i am on the tumblr app n the character limit seems to be nonexistent now? when did this happen HAHA…)

i went looking for u (scrolled thru the keyword of ur old user on tumblr, found an older ask that includes it) bc That App is talking abt That Story again. it always troubled me how things went down - i’ve experienced writers taking down their works before but never like that. orphaning works, sure. deleting ao3s, yep. but NEVER thru what u went thru. i don’t even generally go here (here being x readers), but That Story got pushed my way when the whole situation was in its hayday n i never properly paid attention to things until i caught wind of what u had to do. i had no idea it was that bad until maybe a week after the situation had been over n done with by ur actions. n i don’t blame u in the slighest. fandom culture is both extremely fun n extremely damaging - the fact u got the shortest end of the stick that i’ve ever seen is truly smth awful.

all of that aside, i am so extremely overjoyed to see ur still writing. truth be told, i hadn’t known of u before That Story, since again, my aversion to x readers. but ur writing is clearly smth special - n maybe this is extremely crude to say, i’m extremely sorry if it is - considering the way ppl acted over it. above it all, i am just happy to see that ur ok. everything is fine, as much as it can be. that fact alone leaves me content. i am SO glad u were able to push past it.

tldr, since i know this is a lot. i am so happy to see ur still kicking it, despite it all. content creation in any form is deeply personal if u put ur heart into it, n it seems like u do. i am so sorry for the way ppl treated u over That Story. i am doubly sorry if this made u feel upset in any way, shape, or form. that was not my intent, feel free to do whatever it is u need to do with this silly ask if this is the case. n maybe this is corny, but i hope more things fall in ur favor, instead of otherwise. have a nice day!

This is actually a really kind and considerate ask. I'll answer it under a cut since my response is pretty long though!

Firstly, I just want to say thank you for being thoughtful enough to consider my feelings in all of this. It's really kind of you and I'm not saying that just to say it. ❤️

Secondly, yeah. It all was a bit of a hell fire. While I wish it never happened, it obviously did but I'm happier now than I was then. Even before ThatStory blew up, my old writing blog was getting out of control and people were feeling super entitled to me, my works, what I did, and who/what I wrote about so in a way, I'm not surprised it headed that way although I never expected it to go THAT way lol. And yes, it was pretty bad but luckily it is done and over with. Fandom culture can be super fun and that's initially what it was for me--just fun before it unfortunately tipped over to the other extreme side of fandom which is toxic. It is what it is.

But to touch on your main point, thank you and it's not crude at all. I don't see your comment that way. In a way, I've come to think of it as much as well (that it must have resonated with people in some weird way) but not just with that particular story but other stories, too so it is really sweet that someone who doesn't read these kinds of stories thinks that of them as well. It also means a lot to me that someone cared enough to think about how I was doing after all this because that really hasn't been the case apart from loyal readers. Most ppl never think about me in this situation 😂 which is probably why what happened, happened. So thank you for the kind words. I'm fine. Like I said, happier now than I was in my previous blog. I've come to think that it's all meant to be. I get a lot more freedom here, I have the sweetest, most loyal readers, and no one feels entitled to my works, my time, or what I do.

Also you didn't upset me at all. While it's admittedly irritating to see people still talking about that shit a literal year and three months or so later, that has nothing to do with you so no worries. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to check up on me, and thank you for being so kind. Content creation is super personal and I do put my heart into it, so it means a lot to me that you see that 🥺! Truly.

I'm touched that there are still kind, good, decent people out there because for you to take the time to look for me and send me something lovely truly means a lot, especially considering you weren't necessarily a reader of mine--just clearly a kind, thoughtful human being. I can't express how much I appreciate it. Honestly. Thank you so so much for the lovely sentiments, and I hope all is well for you in the future as well. ❤️❤️❤️

[venusiangguk]

eh the last anon who said smth abt "authors don't owe readers anything" kinda put me off lol cos a writer here myself, i think it's not true, in some way. like i get were doing all of this for free, and mostly i write for my own satisfaction but sometimes, that's not enough :/ so having people here who bothered to read my fics, left a note, a simple reblog, a short or long review and sending me kind asks REALLY makes me ELATED. so normally i'd reply to most of them (though not all) as a way to kinda, like, thank them for appreciating what i do and being so nice about it (that's a rare trait among internet people)

as a reader, too, who sometimes leave comments on someone's work i don't really mind if they reply or not i just want to show an extra appreciation and expose their amazing skills here as they deserve. i don't really see it as a big deal?? like if u don't reply, cool, I'd just think u have a life outside the internet or ur busy or just don't really know what to say (the latter resonates with me bcs sometimes, i really do find myself lagging behind words and not bcs i couldn't simply bother to reply) but if u do reply, then that's cool too !!

but anyways i totally get that some writers can't reply to every message or feedback. just generally speaking, not receiving a reply for a feedback is not really smth i fuss about. but it could be different to anyone. just as no one is an asshole about it lol (both from the writer and the reader's side)

yeah!!! i just personally feel its not hard to show appreciation back because the reviews really mean so much 😭 and im with u on the reader thing too, i personally wouldn't mind if someone didn't get back to me (but understand that some people would like authors to) and, like you said, would just assume they have other things to do.

[kbstories]

impression//expression

"It’s not like Kirishima had come all this way to U.A. to immediately break the promise he made to himself upon arrival.

It’s just that Bakugou is as feral as they come, and the moment Kirishima recognizes it’s fear he felt crawling up his spine that day, he makes it his personal mission to face it head-on until it’s gone."

(Or: Being friends with Bakugou Katsuki is anything but a linear experience. Kirishima Eijirou would have it no other way.)

Tags: Kirishima POV, Developing Friendships, Protective Kiri, Soft Baku, Chatting

Chapter 1. No additional content warnings apply. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9.

***

The routine goes as follows:

Bakugou waits for Kirishima at the front door, arms crossed and a varying degree of pissed off depending how late he's running. Kirishima complains about the train being postponed or too full or delayed in some way – which is true, damn it, it’s like the universe has doomed his train line and none other in all of Japan to be the statistical outlier in an otherwise spotless record of punctuality – and begs for forgiveness, usually by bribing Bakugou with some post-workout coffee.

It works surprisingly well. A month into this and Kirishima is about ready to join one of those conspiracy theory servers Kaminari is so fond of because Bakugou is actually pretty lenient, death threats and crackling palms aside.

(That being said, Kirishima enjoys life and living and chasing after his dreams, so he will never breathe a word about that particular observation to anyone, least of all Bakugou himself.)

They usually got the gym to themselves, the employees on the early shift always looking vaguely relieved that at least someone is making use of their opening hours. Kirishima’s never been a regular anywhere aside from perhaps the manga store a few blocks from his home, so it feels a bit special to have this implicit claim to the training area made for heat-based quirks every Saturday morning.

Bakugou snorted when Kirishima told him that, muttering what sounded like fucking nerd under his breath.

The rest is pretty straight-forward. Kirishima’s been on a daily workout schedule for a good year by this point, and it’s clear Bakugou is used to it too. They stretch, do some warm-ups (in Bakugou’s case, quite literally) and off they go.

The thing is: It’s fun. Like, really, really fun. Really loud, too, especially when Bakugou’s got his sweat on and comes at him point-blank and flashy like fireworks personified. By the first session, Kirishima already realized it’s a lost cause trying to talk during training because all Bakugou replies with is an exasperated “Hah?!” no matter what he says.

It’s not like Kirishima could’ve heard himself speak anyways, his ears always left ringing something fierce from all the close-quarter explosions. Bakugou is a stranger to the concept of holding back or taking things by half measures, that much hasn’t changed.

Elsewhere, it might’ve taken a while for Kirishima to push his quirk to the point where his skin breaks out in cracks and ridges, his arms and shoulders and hair turning unyielding and clear-cut like miniature mountains. Not here, though: Not when the choices are to put his best foot forward with every move, or have Bakugou tear his throat out for daring to waste his time. There’s something so freeing about letting loose like that – a thrill that sends Kirishima’s heart on a war path and his pulse soaring until all that’s left are his instincts and quick reflexes.

Like this, every time he gets a hit in or a blast manages to leave a mark on his body, Bakugou grins and Kirishima grins back. Like this, the bruises and lost hours of sleep pale in comparison to just how bright Bakugou’s eyes can shine.

*

Kirishima brushes off the last traces of carbon dust off his arms to start massaging the sore muscles there. With U.A.’s Sports Festival a mere handful of days away, both of them kept going until their quirks started to sputter.

A strange comfort, to sit in mutual exhaustion like this. It’s not even noon but Kirishima could totally go for a nap, right there on the black, fire-proof tiles. Leaning back on his hands, he hums and asks:

“So. What’s the deal with Midoriya?”

A few feet from him, Bakugou pauses in rolling his shoulders. The black tank top he’s wearing is positively plastered to his body with sweat, his track pants saved from the same fate by how bulky they are.

“What?”

Too late, it occurs to Kirishima to feel nervous. The sensation is dim against the warmth still clinging to his skin though, that minute ache that comes with becoming stone for too long. “Being around him pisses you off. What’s up with that?”

Bakugou stares at him. His expression is hard to read, firmly within the realm of his default frown. “The fuck, Shitty Hair. What’s it to you?”

Uh oh. Kirishima sits up, mostly to raise his hands in a placating gesture, palm-up. “Just curious, bro. Honest. Been wondering for a while so I thought I’d ask, y’know?”

As bold as Kirishima aims to be, lying Bakugou in the face when his gaze is sharp enough to cut a bitch would be a monumentally stupid move. Bakugou seems to come to the same conclusion, even if his scoff is plenty aggressive.

“None of your fucking business, that’s what’s up with it. Fucking… Deku, bah.”

To say the silence that follows is loaded is the understatement of the century. Kirishima chews on his tongue, about a thousand questions balancing on its tip; it’s like the Midoriya he sees is the polar opposite of the one Bakugou blows a fuse over on a regular basis, and the why behind it is kind of starting to haunt him. (It doesn’t help that everyone in 1-A treats him as some sort of expert in all things Bakugou instead of interacting with the guy directly.)

One glance at Bakugou and he swallows it all down. Only now, with any and all traces of it gone, does Kirishima realize how calm he had looked. “…Coffee?”

Bakugou picks himself off the ground and leaves without another word.

*

Baku 💣💥

it’s bullshit dude (sent 18:23)

u know that right? (sent 18:23)

right? (sent 18:48)

like the whole chains + muzzle thing was ass i’m still fuming (sent 19:10)

and the press can go duck themselves lol (sent 19:12)

fuck** (sent 19:12)

it’s ur right to refuse the thing if u don’t want it (sent 19:15)

idk man it just sucks (sent 19:20)

baku? (sent 19:35)

:( (sent 19:55)

-

i know (received 19:56)

stop blowing up my phone (received 19:57)

-

baku!! ❤️  (sent 19:57)

sry haha (sent 19:57)

u ok tho? (sent 20:00)

-

fuck off (received 20:01)

-

sry sry (sent 20:01)

(my moms say hi btw 💪🏻💪🏻) (sent 20:32)

((and congrats but i told em u don’t wanna hear it lmao)) (sent 20:33)

-

hi back (received 20:40)

 -

💪🏻  (sent 20:42)

*

Lord Explosion Murder?? (Baku 💣💥 )

so like (sent 6:20)

ur hero name (sent 6:20)

-

? (received 6:21)

-

oh! morning lol (sent 6:22)

ok so. it’s a bit of a mouthful (sent 6:24)

manly! (sent 6:24)

but y’know (sent 6:24)

-

k (received 6:25)

-

what about nitro? or smth (sent 6:30)

it’s snappy and cool! like u hehe (sent 6:33)

WAIT NO (sent 6:33)

LIKE (sent 6:33)

UM (sent 6:34)

 -

kirishima (received 6:34)

-

yea? (sent 6:34)

OH SHIT DID U JUST (sent 6:36)

pls don’t kill me (sent 6:36)

bro? (sent 6:40)

bakubro? (sent 6:48)

nitro? 👀  (sent 6:53)

… (sent 6:57)

at least lemme say bye to my dog man (sent 7:00)

-

no (received 7:00)

-

RIP in pieces me (sent 7:00)

*

Nitro!! (Baku 💣💥 )

oi dipshit (received 8:02)

-

?? 👀  (sent 8:02)

-

you owe me coffee (received 8:03)

-

!!! (sent 8:03)

[train_view.jpg] (sent 8:18)

omw 💪🏻  (sent 8:19)

-

k (received 8:19)

>>Chapter 3

[well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now]

Do you have like a list of prompts you’ve received? I’m kinda curious to see what other people have sent in.

Sure do! Let me know what you think or what you'll be interested in seeing posted first!

WRITTEN & POSTED

1.) this regular is so cute that I (purposely) wrote wrong name on their order so we could chat for a while" (changed it to Mammon forgetting MC's name cause I didn't want to write anything close to an actual name for MC so that it'd be easier for people to imagine it as their MC)

2.) "I know my boss said to not to serve this batch today bc it'll be for tomorrow's special menu but they look drOP DEAD GORGEOUS AND I CAN'T RESIST THE URGE TO HIT ON 'EM NOBODY CAN STOP ME"

3.) Mammon seeing a bug and freaking out, asking MC to take care of it would be really cute.

4.) MC stealing his clothes and wearing it

5.) MC telling Mammon how appreciative they are of him and how glad they are that they were put under his care over anyone else.

6.) "Wait are those - are those bruises?"

PLANNED WITH DATES

7.) mc’s love language is expressed by giving gifts - 10th Sept

8.) imagine MC giving Mammon a ✨ c u t e ✨ crow plushie - 10th sept

*7.) & 8.) are going to be combined*

9.) when Mammon and MC start dating, he 100% calls them "his treasure" (I don't think this was a prompt but I'm writing it) - 10th Sept

10.) dragon!mammon kidnaps royal!mc for ransom, but ends up discovering not all treasures are made of glitter and gold - long 10chap fic planned - after 18th sept no concrete date

11.) Pillow fort with Mammon?? Maybe a movie night??? Bonus if it's a horror movie and he clings to MC????? - 31st Oct

12.) MC gets possessed by a lower demon - 31st Oct (shortened here but original prompt is longer/more elaborate)

13.) Mammon flirting with the MC to steal their wallet. - 28th Aug

HALF WRITTEN

14.) "I've never seen that scar before"

15.) "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me"

16.)"Talk to me please"

*15.) & 16.) are set to be combined with 14.)*

NOT WRITTEN

17.) It was said before that since Mammon is the avatar of Greed, those he loves are very wealthy and those he hates go broke, so if his self esteem is really low it explains why he's broke and asking for money all the time. (Probably not a prompt but fuck it I want to write it)

18.) him singing & dancing to La Bicicleta with MC in the kitchen (I actually wrote an 'imagine' kinda thing as the reply for this ask cause I don't think it's an actual prompt but I liked it so much I wanna flesh it out into a short fic)

19.) Mammon with Crow feathers (it's more elaborate than this but too long to write here) (Not a prompt but like the previous one I wrote an 'imagine' type thing as a reply for the ask and I wanna flesh it out because GIANT BIRD DEMON BOYFRIEND™)

20.) Mammon consistently spelling MC's name wrong on their cup? Or Mammon leaving pick up lines on their drinks? - gonna do the second one cause again I don't wanna write anything close to an actual name

21.) Mammon coping with the realization that MC's never coming back to the original timeline?

22.) "this person is the love of my life but sometimes I wanna strangle em hoW DARE U DO SMTH ADORABLE DO U KNOW U R THE DEATH OF ME SWEET CHEEKS ILYSM❤️️"

23.) "I rlly hate the fact that ur babysitting ur niece/nephew (but I love this lil fella can we adopt them) but I overheard a couple say WE R A PERFECT FAM I'M-"

24.) “You bake when you’re stressed and sometimes you give me cookies, but recently you’re giving me whole baskets each day, now I’m not complaining but are you okay?”

25.) how's Mammon feel about MC dying from Belphie considering how he told MC at the beginning that if they were in danger, he'd be the one to save them, and if he couldn't save them, they should just die?

26.) him realizing he has a second with the new MC after his MC dies in lesson 16

*25 & 26 were one prompt but I broke it into two fics*

27.) Like, say MC makes it really obvious Mammon’s her favourite and Belphie tries to sabotage him, but it just keeps going wrong. (More elaborate prompt but shortened here)

28.) au where the demon lords are instead revered as local deities. Mammon falls for human MC. (More elaborate prompt but shortened here)

29.) really angsty mc x mammon fic. maybe something with mc sobbing “please don’t be mad at me” or “i can be better, don’t leave” due to accidentally swallowing a hysteria potion or something?

30.) "This is nice. You and Me. Against the world."

31.) "If anything happened to you--I couldn't..." "Will you stay with me? Tonight? I just--I'd feel better knowing that you're near..." "I can't stand the thought of seeing you hurt." All have massive Mammon-after-Belphie-killed-MC vibes.

32.) MC being troubled about dying and mammon being the only one to notice

*31.) & 32.) are going to be combined*

33.) “You’ve done the unthinkable, you know. You’ve made me fall in love.”

34.) mammon and mc are doing a movie night and mc fall asleep and they basically confess in their sleep without knowing it

Fics that don't have planned dates are going to be released on a weekly basis. The fic that I write & post will depend on which prompt makes my imagination go nuts each week. After sept 18 I'm hoping to write & post at least two fics a week.

** nothing is gonna have a sad ending or be a tragedy (I can't hurt myself like that) so at most it'll have a bittersweet ending

**MC will always be gender-neutral (they/them pronouns) and unnamed with no defining features. They will have somewhat of a consistent personality though because I always imagine my mc when writing these and I will probably use headcanons I have but nothing will be overly specific so that you can read the fics with your mc in mind

Because I like to suffer I'm still accepting prompts/requests despite all this so feel free to send them either through asks or dms or feel free to come scream at me about anything because I will scream back

That's it✌