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#but for now -- hey i wrote something
gravitywonagain · 9 months
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Inquiring Minds
holy shit, i finished a thing. well, a draft of a thing, but still counts!
based on this post about wwx being just dead enough be susceptible to the compulsion of inquiry
--
It was, in retrospect, the stupidest possible way to be found out. Wei Wuxian will readily admit that. Unfortunately, the level of stupidity was not a determining factor for the level of reality — as was the case for so much of Wei Wuxian’s life.
It all happened because one of the two dozen Jin disciples who bothered to show up to the war got a little drunk and a lot prideful and ended up starting a fight he couldn’t finish. Or, that was the going theory, anyway. The Jin leadership — such as it was — wanted an investigation done. As if they had nothing better to do. As if there weren’t reasons to be conserving spiritual power and not wasting it playing Inquiry for a guy who had decided to pick a fight — hopefully, hopefully it was a fight — with a Nie disciple who, granted, did not have the startling musculature of some of her shixiongs, but was still a fucking Nie disciple! 
This guy was not worth their time. This guy was not worth Lan Zhan’s time. Or his attention, or his spiritual power, or the stress it would put on his guqin strings— okay, maybe Wei Wuxian should have taken a moment to purge some of his resentment before walking into the tent. 
But he didn’t. This is important. 
Because then Lan Zhan began to play. 
And there was this strange… tugging sensation in the pit of Wei Wuxian’s gut, right where his golden core was supposed to be, pulling him toward Lan Zhan, or toward the empty space in front of Lan Zhan. 
Wei Wuxian shouldn’t have ignored it. He gets that now. He does. But he always wanted to be near Lan Zhan, and his body had been doing all kinds of weird shit since he’d had his core cut out, and who was to say this wasn’t just another weird side effect. 
Well. It was. A weird side effect. After a fashion. 
But that’s not the point! 
He should have noticed then. He should have left then. But he didn’t. 
The melody changed and the tugging sensation stopped. Which was great! 
Until something else started. It felt like a kind of drunkenness, light and hazy in his head, loose around his tongue. Three or four bowls in. 
He shook himself to dislodge it, but the motion only drew a sharp glare from Jiang Cheng. 
The tent was full of spectators. At least two representatives from each major clan were present, plus several “close friends” of the victim -- like four of the fifteen total Jin disciples -- who probably just wanted something else to do outside of eat, sleep, and fight. Wei Wuxian couldn’t blame them, exactly, war was remarkably boring most of the time, but it was getting awfully stuffy in there. 
Lan Zhan changed the melody again, something almost lexical about it. Wei Wuxian could almost hear the question being asked, even before Zewu Jun’s voice chimed in, translating for anyone who didn’t know the qin language — which was pretty much everyone else in the tent besides the Twin Jades — “What is your name?” 
Wei Wuxian caught his own response between his lips, pressing them together tightly, as the guqin sounded three distinct notes which Zewu Jun reported as Jin Zixin. 
So, good. It was the right guy. That was great. Nothing weird at all. 
He should have left then. He didn’t. 
Lan Zhan played again, and again Wei Wuxian thought he understood the phrase, the question, even before Zewu Jun said for the tent, “How did you die?”
Wei Wuxian felt the answer fly to the tip of his tongue and bit his teeth around it, through it. His cheek bled with the force of keeping quiet. 
It was weird. So weird. But maybe, Wei Wuxian justified to himself, maybe it was just an effect of holding a secret inside for so long and having someone actually ask the question out loud. Maybe, it was just the same automatic reaction of answering with your name when someone asked for it. Maybe he was just too fucking tired, and the resentment under his skin just wanted something to laugh at, something to entertain itself with. Like the five of ten Jins standing in the back of the tent. War was boring, okay?
The notes from Lan Zhan’s guqin hung in the air, resonant and waiting. The moment seemed to stretch out too long. It dragged and Wei Wuxian gradually felt the words stop fighting him to escape. 
But the Jin ghost didn’t answer either. 
When Lan Zhan played the same phrase over — “How did you die?” echoed on Zewu Jun’s tongue — the compulsion was much stronger. This time it was like Wei Wuxian could feel Lan Zhan’s spiritual power pouring through him; the strongest of wines, several jars of it. 
He couldn’t fight it. 
His mouth opened. 
I fell. I fell. I fell. 
“I fell.”
All eyes in the tent turned to him. 
Jiang Cheng’s elbow caught him in the ribs. He didn’t even bother to glare. He said, “Not you, Idiot.” 
The qin sounded and everybody looked back to Lan Zhan and Zewu Jun, waiting to hear the Jin disciple’s answer. 
Zewu Jun hesitated for the barest of moments, stuttering into the start of his translation before finding the confidence of his voice once more, recounting whatever it was that the ghost had strummed out. 
Wei Wuxian didn’t hear a word he said. He was, instead, pierced on two sides. 
On one: Jiang Cheng muttered to himself, “Wait,” and then his eyes went wide as he looked back at Wei Wuxian. 
On the other: Lan Zhan’s fingers froze above the strings of his guqin and he turned to stare over his shoulder at Wei Wuxian with something like horrified understanding dawning within his gaze. 
Wei Wuxian finally realized he should fucking leave. Immediately. 
He wanted to run. He knew better. Knew what that would look like. 
Instead, he was going to simply walk out of this tent as he had walked out of so many already during this campaign. Gravel crunched under his heel as he turned. 
But his brother knew him too well. Jiang Cheng’s hand clamped tight around Wei Wuxian’s bicep, his grip unyielding. With his golden core, Wei Wuxian might have been able to break it. But the real bitch of it was that it was his golden core that was holding him in place. 
Jiang Cheng tensed as if readying for a fight, but Wei Wuxian already knew how that fight would end. So he let himself be restrained. 
He turned back to face the Inquiry. 
Lan Zhan was still staring at him when Zewu Jun finished speaking. He was still so stuck in place that his brother had to prompt him into finishing the ritual. Which he did, with all the grace and skill expected of him. He really was just so beautiful to watch. 
All the while, Wei Wuxian listened to the music and bit through his tongue to keep it silent. The questions continued to drag at him -- “Do you know who killed you?” Wen Chao. “Do you have any last requests?” To leave this fucking tent. -- though the pressure to answer eased significantly as the Jin ghost became less stubborn about it. Wei Wuxian settled for reciting the answers to them in his head until they no longer felt pressed against the thin seam of his mouth. 
It took approximately sixteen-hundred years. 
All seven Jin disciples supporting the war effort left the tent after the ghost had recounted his final moments. The attempted sexual assault was not unexpected, judging by their faces, but still disappointing to hear about. Clearly not the entertainment they were hoping for. Luckily for Wei Wuxian, they were apparently too wrapped up in their Jin nonsense to realize new entertainment was fidgeting in the corner and trying not to sever the tip of his tongue completely. 
The Nie, represented by Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang, left shortly after the ritual concluded. If Nie Mingjue had to tug his brother away, Wei Wuxian was too busy keeping his mouth shut to comment on it. 
And then there were just the four of them. Plus the corpse. But they were like six months into a war, so the corpse didn’t actually seem to bother any of them. It hadn’t even started to smell yet. It was still pretty intact, too, and now that it was verifiably a criminal, Wei Wuxian wondered idly if the Jin would let him use it in their next battle. Probably not. 
His idle wondering ceased abruptly as his brother’s fingers bit deeper into the meat of his arm. 
“Wei Wuxian,” he said, all of his surely filial worry for his gege boiling over into a spitting, incandescent fury. He never had to say he loved his brother, Wei Wuxian could always tell. It was the teeth gnashing that gave him away. “What the fuck do you mean you fell?” 
Right. 
Wei Wuxian played it as cool as he could with a definitely-not-bleeding tongue. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jiang Cheng.” He shrugged, but his arm didn’t move very far. 
“You answered Inquiry,” said Lan Zhan. Succinct as ever. 
“No!” Wei Wuxian said, maybe a little too loud, but not at all childishly. 
Zewu Jun narrowed his eyes and pulled out his xiao. Wei Wuxian tried not to flinch about it, he did. But Zewu Jun only played a short, non-Inquiry melody, and a shimmering, blue barrier manifested around the interior of the tent. 
“No,” Wei Wuxian said again, this time at a totally normal volume. “I was just… messing around. You know how I do that, Lan Zhan. Always a rule breaker.” He grinned, desperately trying to play it all off. Realizing faster and faster how very badly this was going for him. 
Lan Zhan surprised him, then, saying, “Not when it matters.” 
“What?”
“Wei Ying doesn’t break rules when they matter.” 
Wei Wuxian didn’t know where the fuck that was coming from. But he couldn’t say he hated it. 
Except that he did, because it was going to be a problem for this whole I’m just a silly rascal defense he was setting up. 
Jiang Cheng still hadn’t let go of his arm. His fingernails were starting to split the fabric of his sleeve. And worse, his eyebrows were scrunched together in the way they do when he’s thinking through all the angles of a problem. 
Zewu Jun still had his xiao in hand, and he was looking at Wei Wuxian like he was deciding whether to perform an exorcism or an execution. 
But Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan hadn’t moved from his seat on the mat. He had turned his body so that he was facing Wei Wuxian, giving him his full attention, and was looking up at him with… pain in his eyes. Shining, wet pain. 
“You died?” he asked. “Are you dead?”
“I don’t…” Wei Wuxian trailed off. He couldn’t find the words. 
He didn’t know. Which was, possibly, not the best sign. 
“I can’t be dead,” he said, looking over at Zewu Jun, Jiang Cheng, then back to Lan Zhan. “Can I?”
Zewu Jun, still wary, said, “You responded to the compulsion in Inquiry. Inquiry is a song that speaks to and compels answers from the dead. It does not generally work on the living.” 
“Well--” Wei Wuxian started, defensive and scared. But again, he didn’t really know where to go with that. 
“Where were you, Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Cheng asked him. “Why didn’t you meet me at the bottom of the hill?” 
Lan Zhan and Zewu Jun shared a look. They didn’t seem to know what Jiang Cheng was talking about. But Wei Wuxian really, really, didn’t want to get into that whole mess. If anyone was going to see right through him and his flimsy tale about suddenly remembering the location of Baoshan Sanren’s mountain, it would be Lan Zhan. Actually, Zewu Jun would probably figure it out, too. And then maybe even Jiang Cheng. Now that he wasn’t all broken and desperate and gullible. 
Fuck. With the way Jiang Cheng was looking at Wei Wuxian, the way his hand released some of the pressure around his arm, he might already have. 
Wei Wuxian laughed, hoping it came off more smoothly than it felt in his chest. “Ah, Jiang Cheng.” He brought his own hand up to lay over his brother’s. “What if I told you--”
“No,” Jiang Cheng cut him off. “No more bullshit. Where were you?”
The mirth, false as it was, drained out of Wei Wuxian as he saw the pain building behind his brother’s eyes. 
There was movement in his periphery and then Lan Zhan was standing on his other side. His fingers wrapped around Wei Wuxian’s other arm with a much gentler grip than Jiang Cheng’s. Something imploring about the touch. Like he was seeking confirmation to a theory, or maybe proving to himself that Wei Wuxian was actually there. 
“I…” Wei Wuxian trailed off. 
Zewu Jun’s gaze was hard as steel, but aimed, it seemed, at Lan Zhan’s hand, rather than at Wei Wuxian in general. 
“There was a rumor,” he said in slow, even words, “that Wen Chao had thrown you into the Burial Mounds.” He waited a moment after he finished speaking, as if trying to reconcile the words himself, before he looked up to meet Wei Wuxian’s eyes. 
Of course, Wei Wuxian didn’t want to meet Zewu Jun’s eyes. He didn’t want to meet any of their eyes. He wanted very much to be out of this tent and away from knowing gazes altogether. 
Unfortunately, he hadn’t quite figured out how to teleport using resentful energy yet. So in the tent he remained. 
He looked down at his feet. His boots were crusted with dirt and blood and other bodily fluids. War really was super gross, in addition to being largely boring. 
“That’s ridiculous,” he said, still looking down. “Everyone knows that nothing leaves the Burial Mounds.” 
Lan Zhan’s hand tightened around Wei Wuxian’s arm. Jiang Cheng’s loosened, but didn’t let go. 
“Yeah,” said Jiang Cheng, like an accusation, “it would be impossible.” 
Wei Wuxian still didn’t look up from his feet which meant that he missed whatever silent conversation happened between Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan that had both of them tightening their grips on his arms just before fingers were pressed to the pulse points of his wrists. He struggled, flailing as much as he could, but against Lan Zhan’s golden core and his own, he stood no chance. He could barely budge them. 
He screamed but the sound only reverberated inside the tent. 
The only thing he could think to do was to call up the dead. The dead man still lying in front of them. The Jin. Rapist. Criminal. He could use that wicked corpse to fight off the people holding him down, taking his secrets. Smoke curled out of his sleeves and he--
He stopped himself. 
It was over anyway. 
Even if they couldn’t read his spiritual energy, or lack thereof, his fighting them was confirmation enough. 
He went limp in their grasp. His knees buckled. 
It really was the stupidest possible way to be found out. 
“Where is it?” asked Jiang Cheng. But it was clear from his voice that he already knew the answer. 
Lan Zhan was silent. 
Zewu Jun looked to his brother for an answer, not understanding what they had just discovered. 
“His golden core,” said Lan Zhan. “It’s gone.” 
“Wen Zhuliu?” Zewu Jun asked. 
But Jiang Cheng made a sound that was somehow both a laugh and a sob. 
Wei Wuxian regained control of his arms. He sprawled himself out on the tent floor, exhausted from his struggle. He laughed, too. “After a fashion.” 
Jiang Cheng fell to the ground next to him, hands cradling the place where Wei Wuxian’s core now spun. “What the fuck?” he said, quietly, to no one in particular. Then, loudly, to Wei Wuxian in particular, “What the fuck!” 
His cheeks were wet. Jiang Cheng’s, his own. He looked over to confirm, and yeah, Lan Zhan’s too. Zewu Jun had nothing to cry over, except maybe confusion, but he was too cool for that, so he just stood in the middle of the tent, shocked, presumably, as his brother, another sect leader, and a demonic cultivator broke down around him. 
Wei Wuxian stared up at the tented canvas ceiling and cursed himself for not leaving the tent when he first noticed something wrong. 
“Jiang Cheng,” he started, but Jiang Cheng cut him off with a wet yell. 
“Why would you do that, you fucking idiot?! What the fuck were you even thinking?! How did you-- How--” 
He seemed to lose steam trying to figure out what happened on “Baoshen Sanren’s mountain” and potentially also why Baoshen Sanren’s voice sounded so familiar. 
Zewu Jun’s voice was remarkably calm for a man witnessing-- whatever he made of what he was currently witnessing. He said, “Wei Wuxian, I believe your Sect Leader would like to know how you lost your golden core.” 
Wei Wuxian laughed at that. Because yes and no. 
“No, Zewu Jun,” he said, still laughing. He tried to stop, but it was just too funny. “No,” he said again, slightly more sober, “he wants to know why and how he now has my golden core.” 
He didn’t really mean to say it. He felt drunk again, like he did when Lan Zhan was playing Inquiry. Ready to spill all his secrets at only the slightest provocation. Zewu Jun could probably ask him just about anything right now -- Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng too, for that matter -- and he would answer it. It wasn’t exactly a safe mindset to be in. But he couldn’t really do anything about that now. 
At least there was some kind of privacy barrier over the tent. 
Zewu Jun stood. Speechless. 
Lan Zhan’s tears fell silently. 
Jiang Cheng glared, hands clutched tight against his lower dantian -- whether to hold something inside or to tear it out, Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure. 
Wei Wuxian felt light as a feather. Drunk and dizzy with it. A weight had been lifted, he supposed, but one he was never supposed to let go. His laughter died down to the occasional press of his lungs. Tears collected in his eyelashes until everything was blurry. 
Emptiness yawned inside him, but it was gentler somehow. As if the secret itself had been clawing away at his slowly healing wounds. 
“Fuck,” he said with a hiccup of a laugh. And again, quieter, “Fuck.”
He really should have left the fucking tent. 
Also, wait. Was he dead?! 
--
(7/18/24: now on ao3)
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muffinlance · 4 months
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I know you hate being asked. But I desperately need to know is there any plans for Fox younger and Kirin bone book 3? I’ve passed my copy around to a few friends and I’m starting to get hounded for more.
Sequels are in the works! Book two pre-order is coming shortly, and book three is fully outlined and currently being written (albeit slowly, because it is spring and I'm enjoying the lovely weather with my children. Was literally working on the next chapter all weekend, though!)
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lovelylotusf1 · 2 months
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Read Chapter 2 🐱
🔵 Charles Leclerc/Max Verstappen
🔴 Rated E
✍️ 13,746 words (chapter 2 - 6045 words)
Snippet:
There's an itch underneath his skin, screaming at Max to put the collar on. He doesn't. He can't. At least not yet.
He wants Charles to do it, needs Charles to do it. To loop the collar around Max's neck. To claim him in every sense of the word, Ferrari red tightly hugging the column of his throat.
So, with his heart hammering against his chest like it wants to escape, Max puts the collar down on the table and looks at the other two items he ordered.
A headband with fluffy cat ears attached. And a metal butt plug with a bushy tail at the other end.
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fluffypotatey · 3 months
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*puts on my Professor glasses* Macky really knows EXACTLY how to talk to Wukong, let's dissect it! M: Looks like things are going smoothly. W: I say, you've been here the whole time, haven't you? M: FFM is your home, but it's also mine. W: Did you find anything? M: Still nothing, however. Now the Jade Emperor is no longer present. The Celestial Realm already gives me an unsettling feeling. M: Wukong...that kid. W: I understand. M: You have to go and talk to him. W: I know! But...he still isn't ready. M: I see. You're the one who isn't ready, yet. How did you even become a teacher! M: He has to be. We all have to be realistic. W: He's just a kid. We can't let him... M: Who says he's just a kid! Why is it him? When you chose him, did you know? W: I didn't know, I really didn't know! I just followed...a feeling. M: Are you not the least bit worried?! This child has all of your special powers, and he always runs into trouble. Have you never questioned this before? Not a single person knows where he came from. Is it not strange?! M: We still have no clue as to whoever let out Azure Lion. All your old foes returned in one swoop. Are you not even a little- W: Then what about you? You also suddenly came back. M: Argh- M: I say, someone must be manipulating us behind our backs. Especially Xiaotian. But they still haven't succeeded. W: Then tell me. What about you? M: Tell me do you want my help or not?! / W: Not long ago you were still against me! / M: I see, you're just a- / W: ...after I assume you'll teach me how to train my own disciples? ~ Xiaotian Interupts ~ M: Look. That kid has made you his idol. You're his one true hero, but you... W: But I what? M: He has to understand, he doesn't need to carry these burdens. You have to do better. You can really tell whose the chatty one in this relationship XD Wukong might be a lil annoyed, but he's tolerant. And Macky is a little playful turd as always. Where Wukong gets gloomy and concerned, Mac swaps between teasing and serious in a blink. Then things get a lot more strained and tense, but unlike their previous fights, it never escalates into violence. Never a growl, never a raised fist. They're right at the edge, and they drop it. I'm very much interested in the psychology of arguments and when it comes to people latching onto (1) thing a person says and relating it slightly off topic to avoid talking about that other thing, like Wukong is doing here. It's so cool seeing how physical they are in trying to visibly control their emotions around each other, and how they keep trying to hold themselves back from tearing in further, always pausing and halting, and switching to another thing. They're TRYING. Ugh. I think Mac was trying to give a comforting smile at the end, but it's kinda warped by the whole ~ everything else. ~ Anyhow, I like how this starts with Wukong establishing, or rather cementing to Macaque that he believes MK is a kid. And while Macaque argues against that, he did also say before that Wukong should talk to him. And they have their squabble, with Mac pushing Wukong's buttons to get him to say something, BUT the fact this gets resolved with he needs to understand he doesn't need to carry these burdens. YOU HAVE TO DO BETTER. Like of all things Mac could have chosen. He's playing right into what Wukong himself believes, that will overwrite the "MK isn't ready" thing. Because let's face it. Mac is right when he says Wukong also isn't ready for that talk yet. He's so down throughout all this, Wukong probably feels himself that he needs to be better. AND by appealing to the fact MK is a kid, without explicitly stating that, just a statement that cannot be denied, BUT is a subject that undoubtedly, even Wukong cannot avoid. Because he wants better for MK. For him to not walk down the same path as him. Macaque has basically nudged Wukong into having that talk he wanted with MK by reframing it differently from what Wukong wasn't ready for. Thoughts? Critique?
*squishes you* anon…anon, you’re telling me..that this was the actual dialogue between SWK and Macky in 5x01. that what i just read is the translated version of the Mandarin dub. correct?
ok ok cool. i’m cool. gucci. feeling fantastic lemme just
WHAT THE FUCK LMK
ok so i ranted in the tags but realized i forgot to say more things (also i was worried i’d exceed the tag limit bc that is a real thing what do you know!)
so, anon, you said Macky knows how to talk to Wukong and yeah agreed but for me it’s for of the sense of “Macky knows how to get his words under Wukong’s skin”
he knows how to let his words sink in and fester in Wukong’s mind, making him reconsider things or another to help speed up certain decisions or choices Wukong is hesitating on. and ain’t it fascinating how despite how long it’s been since either character have talked or interacted with each other, they still know the ins and outs of their behavior and thoughts.
Macky knows Wukong needs to talk to MK but is holding back. Macky after one answer from Wukong realizes that it’s Wukong who isn’t ready for that conversation and switches tactics to try and breach that mental block
Wukong, in a need to avoid the conversation, brings up the questions surrounding Macky’s reason for even being alive again because that is information neither have talked about and oh hey! Macky is avoiding that conversation too! and it’s an important one to have so he pushes for it, but Macky knows it’s being pushed to avoid their original discussion and is annoyed bc “classic Wukong, never wanting to delve too deep into topics where he’ll need to be vulnerable for” (especially when said vulnerability is with his newly re-allied ex friend Macaroni himself)
god i love them
#to lmk: SHAKING YOU AND SHAKING YOU AND SHAKING YOU AND SHAKING YOU AND SHAKING YOU AND SHAKING YOU AND SHAKING YOU AND SHAKING YOU AND SHA-#my thoughts are under the cut <- this is a lie. all my thoughts are in the tags#i wrote this on the assumption i would give myself a break to breathe. i gave myself 5 seconds#asks#lmk#lmk s5#lmk season 5#lmk spoilers#lmk s5 spoilers#lmk season 5 spoilers#shadowpeach#lmk sun wukong#lmk six eared macaque#lmk mk#sunburst duo#anon i had to read this. sit in shock. then reread it. then scream. then allow myself to pick apart this dialogue bc wtf#tbh i love that SWK truly does see MK as a kid and it makes sense#SWK is /old/ old#and while MK is an adult he’s still a fairly young adult in his early twenties (maybe pushing to mid-20s by s5 WAIT THAT IS SO COMING OF AG#OF THEM LMK QHEN I GEG YOU)#and personally only Pigsy and swk are allowed to call MK kid#and isn’t it so interesting that there was a focus on both characters in ep1#these are MK’s two adult figures he looks up to the most. one is his dad (now officially adopted i think) & one is his mentor/hero#i LOVE that Macky told swk point blank that MK /does/ idolize swk. bc while it’s very obvious#i’m pretty sure SWK’s been ignoring the hero worship on purpose (it also doesn’t help with his need to talk to MK bc what if#this talk breaks MK’s image of him and MK gets upset and tries to leave him and—) but Macky’s like ‘nuh uh dumbass!#i am not standing by and watching you dwindle your thumbs with information MK needs to know’ (this was something i wanted#Macky to call swk out on tho i imagined it happening midway in s5 but hey not complaining. bc Macky is the one who knows#Swk the best out of the cast besides MK. but MK is still blinded by his hero worship and also doesn’t want to face his demons rn like swk)#GAH!!! it’s so juicy how this works :D and then they get jury summoned and suddenly swk has the circlet back on and MK’s seconds from
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year
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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k
There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead. 
Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this. 
He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs.  Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!
Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair. 
Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.
He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.
His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?" 
Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–
The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs. 
One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles. 
There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him. 
"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"
Oh. Yes. That. 
It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.
Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to. 
Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly. 
Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.
Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor. 
Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step. 
Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-
Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's. 
He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.
Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before. 
Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray. 
He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further. 
Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs,  "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"
Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of! 
But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons. 
#i love how i kept saying to people: no no i shant write any fic for this. only art.#me like two weeks later: hey guys :)#this is just: i was sitting in class and had a drawing idea but then im obv not drawing *this* in class so my brain went into narrative mod#not exactly 'baby's first ficlet!!!' but moreso ive not written in a while so i hope its alright???#but aaahhh this was actually pretty fun!! idk i think it was bcs i was also being brainrotted by the image of seb kneeling....#maybe ill draw it. but it felt like something that needed the context of narrative and not just oo here is a drawing!#anyways you can always ask me for a directors cut-(PLEASE PLEAE BEGGING PLEASE)#see this is why im not cut out for writing fic#its not like i dont think it can speak for itself. more that im just an overly reflective person who wants to explain all my thoughts#if i wrote fic itd really be just: chapter 1. chapter 1.5 chapter 2. chapter 2.5#anyways i think its pretty obvious but this is before their wedding and just like peak bitterness.#well not peak. peak would be the first year- first few months of their marriage#but this is fernando who is only just realizing how naive all his expectations of seb were and getting a glimpse of his future#but mostly: mindgames and power play and: whos actually really winning?#also my god jense is literally the best chara in this au. he is vibing and basically just witnessing ye olde reality tv#mark and fernando are always in a weird powerplay with seb(even if seb isnt even consiously doing so) and jense is just free from it all#hmm now how does one go about tagging fic#vettonso#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1#formula 1#martian#sebmark#also idk why im always so concerned abt tagging when im basically just writing this for my little boy king following i have somehow formed#hahaha! it is art to me!:#catie.art.#boy king au
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secondbeatsongs · 1 year
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iCarly Meta, Part 5: Socko, Nominative Determinism, and How I Spend My Free Time
so, you may remember that I've made four separate iCarly posts before, because I am just way too into this dorky, ridiculous children's show.
well, over a year ago, I wrote this fifth one. and after some introspection, some really deep self-evaluation about what I want and where I'm going in life, I've decided that it's time to share it with the world at large
so...let's talk about Socko's family!
to catch you up: Socko is Spencer's best friend, who designs all of the fun socks that Spencer wears! he's first mentioned in s01e07 (iScream on Halloween), though some of his socks are shown as early as s01e02 (iWant More Viewers).
(technical note: production-wise, s01e09 is listed before s01e07, and I think that was intended to be Socko's introduction, and it would make sense, considering how Spencer describes him in that ep. but I can't prove this, and so we move on.)
while Socko is mentioned consistently throughout the show, he's never fully shown on screen. but, he does technically appear in an episode, because you can see part of his arm in s04e11-s04e13 (iParty with Victorious) when he hands Spencer the keys to his van.
Spencer and Socko have known each other since at least 1999 (as mentioned in s02e12, iRocked the Vote) when Spencer would have been 17 or 18. and despite Socko almost never being shown, it's clear that he spends a lot of time with Spencer, and that they're close. if Spencer needs something, Socko is always willing to call in a favor from one of his family members.
and boy, does Socko have a lot of very interesting family members.
let's go over some of them real quick:
Bernie is a welder, Otto is a used car salesman, Tyler designs neckties, Taylor is a tailor, Rob is a thief, Arty is an artist, Isaac is an optometrist, and Ryder is a motorcycle enthusiast.
are we noticing a pattern here?
every single one of these is an aptronym – a personal name that is aptly or peculiarly suited to its owner. and since all of these people are in some way related, this is fascinating to me.
it seems like Socko's family is really into nominative determinism – the idea that people tend to gravitate towards areas of work that fit their names. whether or not this is true of people in real life is unclear, but in the universe of iCarly, this is something that Socko's family is all about.
when did it start, I wonder? who was the first in the family to have a job or hobby that related directly to their name? and who continued that pattern? because someone named Bernard going by "Bernie" and taking up welding is one thing, but an entire family of people going into fields that have to do with their names is unsettling.
is this on purpose, now? do the parents in Socko's family choose names for their children based on what they want them to be? is there an expectation that each child will have to choose a profession based on what their parents name them?
I think there is. and I think it's fucked up.
imagine growing up knowing that your name would control your future career options. that no matter how you felt about your name, choosing a career or hobby that matched it is what would make your parents happy. that at least some portion of your parents' love is tied to the idea that you will be what they named you.
and depending on the name, the kids aren't always left with a lot of options! someone named Bernie could be a welder, a woodburning artist, a firefighter, etc...but for Taylor, there's really only one path to take.
what if a kid is trans? I just have to wonder, would they be judged more for not identifying with their assigned sex at birth, or for changing their name?
and one of Socko's cousins is named Mary. think about that with me for a second – Mary.
imagine that the only dream your parents have for you is that you get married. and not just fall in love! no, you were given this name because their express purpose, their biggest hope for you is that you get legally married.
what if Mary had been gay? what if she grew up with fear in her heart, knowing that the only thing her parents had ever wanted from her wasn't possible, was actually illegal, because of who she was?
or what if she had been aro, or ace, or just otherwise not interested in relationships? or what if she was interested in relationships, but not the serious, legal commitment of marriage?
my hope here (my one fragile hope) is that Rob, Mary, and Josh are siblings, and that their parents were trying to escape this part of the family legacy. maybe they named their kids Robert, Marian, and Joshua, and tried to steer clear of any obvious career choices – but then their sons started going by "Josh" and "Rob" and causing trouble, and "Mary" started talking about her upcoming wedding, and they knew that they would never be free of the family curse.
'cause it's gotta be a curse, right? I feel like at this point, it has to be.
but hey, worry not! because I think there are some loopholes.
Penny, for example, had a lot of choices – she could have minted coins, or built fences, or designed ball-point pens, or been a cashier (etc, etc). but she didn't do any of those things! she started a t-shirt company, and made shirts with fun phrases on them like "church pants" and "parole baby" and "chest words" (all shirts I would wear for real).
her job didn't have anything to do with her name – but she still followed the family pattern. she named her t-shirt company "Penny-Tees", and sewed a single penny into each of her shirts. instead of finding a name-based occupation, she made her own.
I really think it's brilliant – she got to do what she wanted, and her parents couldn't complain, because it still suited her name! and if this pattern is curse-based, she found a way around it by following it to the letter (but not exactly the spirit), and because of this, she got to make her own choices.
and speaking of jobs that may or may not suit one's name: let's talk about Socko.
early in the show when we're introduced to him, we know three things about him:
he knows where to find huge pumpkins
he sells Spencer all of his wacky socks
his name is Socko
but, thinking about that third point…is it?
like, is his name actually Socko?
let's look at Socko's family tree for a moment:
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(ID in alt text)
(yes, I made this. it took over two days. I skimmed through many episodes, looked through a large amount of the old iCarly website on the Wayback Machine, and as far as I know, this is canon accurate.)
(shhh, this was absolutely a valuable use of my time. don't worry about it.)
look at his family. look at the names.
almost all of them are, well…normal names. names that could belong to any acquaintance, friend, or relative in your own everyday life.
the only real exceptions here are Freight Dog, Boomer, and Dr. Paxil – but if we're being real? "Freight Dog" is almost definitely a nickname, "Paxil" isn't that strange-sounding of a surname, and I have actually seen people named "Boomer".
so that just leaves…Socko.
"Socko" is not a people name. it sounds mean, but I don't know how else to word that – it's just not a name for a human person.
it would be a great name for a cat or a dog (especially if they had paws that were a different color from their body – man, that'd be so cute!), but it is not a name that many parents would willingly give to a human child. especially when all of the other siblings in the family have relatively normal names.
my theory, my hottest take: I don't think "Socko" is his legal name.
think about it: Socko and every single one of his siblings went into the fashion industry. even accounting for the fact that they probably wanted Penny to have a different career, would Socko's parents really want all three of their other children going into the same industry, especially one as tumultuous and challenging as fashion design?
I think not. I think they gave Socko a different name, one that they believed would lead him down a completely distinct career path. and then, like Penny, Socko found his own true calling – but instead of changing his occupation to match his name? he changed his name to match his occupation.
it is my belief that Socko's birth name…the name his parents gave him…
(drumroll please)
…was "Socrates".
now hold on, just stay with me here. because I swear that this does make sense, really!
so, back at the beginning of this post I mentioned nominative determinism, but that term wasn't actually used until 1994. before then, it was called "onomastic determinism" or "die verpflichtung des namens" ("the obligation of the name"), but it wasn't really…a thing? it wasn't something that people really studied, and when they did, nobody could seem to come to a solid conclusion about whether or not your name does actually influence your career choice.
I think that in some way, Socko's parents wanted an answer. they wanted an explanation as to why their family tree reads like a joke book. and by naming their kid "Socrates", they were sending that question out into the world, hoping for a response.
because there were really two options here – either Socko would grow up to be a philosopher, someone who could search for meaning in the pattern of family job-finding, or he wouldn't. and if he didn't, if he threw off the shackles of his name and did something else entirely, then that in itself would be an answer.
and sure, maybe his parents should have thought about how "Socrates" might be abbreviated. maybe they should have considered that he could grow up to design socks. but hindsight is 20/20, and I don't know if that's something any parent would expect of their child, so I won't hold that against them.
I will however, judge them for naming two of their kids "Taylor" and "Tyler" – like, my god. can you imagine how often people got them mixed up? it's inhumane.
even worse if they were twins! though actually, that would make some kind of twisted sense – to give twins names that not only match, but that would lead them to careers in the same industry. maybe they wanted them to go into business together? hoo boy.
anyway, sorry, I've gone off-topic. back to Socko – or should I say, Socrates.
"Socrates" is a pretty fun name. two parts of it are σῶς (sôs, “safe and sound”) and κράτος (krátos, “power”), which is an interesting name meaning for a dude who was executed for corrupting the youth.
(I'm talking about the philosopher here – as far as I know, Socko from iCarly was not executed for corrupting the youth. at least, not yet.)
and if we keep thinking about Socrates (the philosopher), I think there's another reason that this name fits: we know fuck-all about Socrates.
sure, he's well-known – lots of people know about his ideas, and the Socratic method – but…he never actually wrote anything. everything we think we know about him, we learned from somebody else.
all of Socrates' interests, his skills, his beliefs? they were all things we learned from Plato, Xenophon, or (I guess) Aristophanes. we have no idea what the dude was actually like, outside of that.
just like we have no idea what Socko is like, outside of what Spencer says.
Socrates is a vital figure in the history of western philosophy, but all of the things we know about him are altered by the opinions of other people, filtered through the lenses of their perception.
and Socko is a vital character in the show iCarly, but all of the things we know about him – his hobbies, his opinions, his wants – are things we've heard second-hand from Spencer.
(you're laughing. Spencer Shay is a stand-in for Plato, and you're laughing.)
so in a very fun way, Socko (Socrates) did live up to his name…by being unknown to us, the audience.
us, watching this TV show the way chained prisoners watch shadows dance on the wall of a cave.
continuing down this rabbit hole…does this mean that one of the iCarly crew is Aristotle?
no…perhaps that's taking it too far.
(it'd be Gibby)
final notes:
I haven't seen all of the iCarly reboot yet (I'm on episode 3! I have mixed feelings, but I think one of the writers ships the thing that I ship, so that's fun), so if it mentions something about Socko lore, I unfortunately do not know about it.
fun fact: the ancient Greeks did often have names that were meant to have sway on their lives! for example: Hedistē ("most delightful"), Demotimos ("honored among the people"), Hippodamas ("horse-tamer"), Nikomachē ("victorious in battle").
additional fun fact: I asked one of the mods of the iCarly wiki, and they said I could put the family tree I made on the page for Socko's Family! :D
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look! it's my thing! the thing that I made! how cool is that?!
(I'll be real; I am way too proud of this)
yes, two of Socko's family members have inaptronyms instead of aptronyms: Harry (bald) and Jean (allergic to denim). but in my mind, they still count – the names are still weirdly suited to their specific lives.
since I'm pretty sure "Freight Dog" is a nickname, I also took a crack at what I think his legal name might be. my theory? "Aaron".
(get it? Aaron? because he's in the air? okay, I'll see myself out.)
anyway, my new hobby is coming up with more family members for Socko to have. descend with me into the deepest reaches of The Headcanon Zone, and behold:
Lisa: She's a landlord (she leases apartments). Socko hates her.
Barry: A big ol' bear of a man. Or he could work for Gund or Build-a-Bear or something. That could be fun!
Mike: Audio technician
Amy: Sharpshooter
Summer: Camp counselor
Tony: Orthopedist. (toe-knee)
Marty: Owns and operates a supermarket
and because it's fun, my friend @wonderbound joined in and came up with these super great ones:
Drew: Illustrator
Cody: Programmer or hacker
Pete: Bryologist (he studies moss!)
Norm: He's just a guy
Flo: Plumber – or maybe, an expert in fluid dynamics
Hattie: Milliner (she makes hats)
Howl: Werewolf (or perhaps, the owner of a moving castle 👀)
Will: Estate planning attorney (he writes wills)
anyway, I think that's about it. thanks for coming with me on this adventure! I hope it was as much of a rollercoaster to read as it was to write, because yeah, it was a weird one over here.
I mean, it started out normal? but then the next thing I knew, I had gotten invested, made nine edits to the iCarly wiki, and designed that whole family tree. so I think maybe I went a little overboard with this one. xD
tune in next time, for…I dunno. I think my brain needs a break after that. but, eventually I would love to write more meta! just…maybe not all for iCarly? I have some things to say about Gravity Falls that I think are gonna blow your minds.
(not really; I just think it's great)
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lloydfrontera · 1 month
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Im so curious
What about BK Moon gives you so much beef with him like the misogyny I understand but you talk about him like there's more
it's all the untapped potential. that's all it is. bk moon can be such a good writer at times and there's some genuinely interesting and fascinating ideas in his work, but man do they get buried under some of the most bizarre and tedious plots he can come up with.
he comes up with some amazing dynamics, concepts and characters and then does shit with them. he writes incredibly passionate and heart-wrenching relationships between his male protagonists and then shoves them into the most boring and/or underdeveloped straight romances possible. he describes utterly horrifying scenarios (affectionate) with such vivid detail you can almost see them play out perfectly in your head and then goes on and on about very boring topics with too much detail that you can skip without losing anything for it.
his novels could be so good... if only they were good. there's something there but you have to grab a shovel and dig them up by yourself because he's not gonna help you do it.
he's a good writer! but he could so much better. and that's what makes it so infuriating! because i see the potential, i see the seeds being planted, i see what could've been... and i can't do anything about it but make silly little posts about it! i wanna be his editor and beta-reader soooo bad.
but to be clear i don't have,, real beef with the man. like. i don't know him. i just read what he writes and sometimes stalk his fb but that's it. my feelings about him are completely based on what his writing and his novels tell me and nothing more. and i do like his writing! i genuinely do enjoy his style and the way he writes! some times more than others but nonetheless!
and also sometimes i just like being dramatic. sometimes i'm mildly annoyed by one of his writing decision and i say i'll stab a man. doesn't mean i actually hate his guts or anything aksjhdka
i will even admit that maybe if his novels were better i wouldn't be so into them as i am. take orv for example. i love it, i definitely binge-read it, cried my heart out and it remains one of my favorite webnovels of all time. but i didn't dedicate two years of my life to talk about it, y'know? it's so good i don't really have anything to add to the conversation. unlike with tged and cpsm where i have entirely too much to say about them.
i guess i just... mourn the wasted potential of his writing. and like with a lot of other authors i can't help but be bitter about the hetero/amatonormativity that seeps into it. if he were just a little bit more open to write his protagonists as anything else than straight or at least stopped adding romance for romance sake, his novels would stand out from many others even with his rather run-of-the-mill plots.
also i'm salty that he keeps catering to whiny dudebros with such fragile egos they can't handle an emotional scene without calling it cringe. when he could be catering to me instead <3 i, unlike them, do appreciate how he writes incredibly deep and passionate friendships between men willing to risk the whole world for one another <33
tldr: he gives me brain worms. and i'm mad about it. he needs a better editor and it should be me.
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months
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so the eikichi-centric kuwabara fic is going well
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tantumuna · 28 days
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what's crazy to me is multiple times i've received encouragement to start drawing again, even when i mention that the only reason i've considered drawing again is as a desperate ploy for attention
but whenever i talk about my writing i either get ignored or told to "write for yourself"
like just tell me you don't value writing as an art form. it'll be easier than having to dance through whatever the fuck this is
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cottagecori · 5 months
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hey. send the message. do it.
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sailforvalinor · 7 months
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Val Is Pretty Sure She Might Be Losing Her Mind, more at 11
#okay so y’all. do you happen to remember Alcott Boy? the guy I had a crush on from school last year (or really the whole time I’ve been in#college honestly) who had Opinions on Little Women#yeah him. anyway I thought I was over my crush on him but GUESS WHAT it’s back and worse than ever#like I only have one class with him that’s once a week but guys guys I feel like I’m LOSING MY MIND like. I’ve never felt the urge to#actually go up to a guy and say ‘hey do you wanna go out with me?’!! like I would never actually do that but the urge is most definitely#there??? and it’s not even that he’s cute (although I mean I think he’s cute) but he’s really really intelligent and funny and very notably#always willing to bring up his faith in class discussions (and this isn’t really the campus for that) and I’ve always admired him for that#(this is also the boy that looked at something I wrote in fiction class and said ‘that’s it that’s what love is supposed to be like!!’ LIKE#) and I genuinely don’t know what to do#like should I be concerned that I feel this strongly so soon after The Boy?? should I be concerned that this might just be limerance???#my roommate has been offering to talk to him for me and ask if he’s single and is it insane that I’m actually considering it???#like if I’m going to now is the ideal time—I’ve already had my class with him this week and spring break is next week#and I’m certain he would never make me feel bad if he didn’t feel the same. but if he did wouldn’t he have said something by now? I don’t#know I don’t know I don’t knooowww#but I graduate in two months and I don’t want to regret it for the rest of my life
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ukumiii · 1 year
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fem!skk as Sayaka and Kyoko
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etapereine · 5 months
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not all heroes wear capes, some of them upload social media work skins on archive of our own dot org
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fantasyinallforms · 7 months
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Hi there! I really hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I happened to come across a few of your Tumblr exclusive ficlets, and I couldn't help but notice that they could use a bit more editing.
I mean, don't get me wrong, your other works are usually more polished with better grammar. Do you maybe skip editing your short stories? It just makes them a little hard to read is what I'm saying.
Not really sure what way I was supposed to take this but ok.
I edit all my work, but I'm dyslexic as hell, and editing is really hard for me, even with programs like Grammarly. I rely on my editor/ beta reader, but I don't always have her edit it unless it's going on AO3.
Anyone who knows me well enough knows that this topic is a particularly sensitive one for me and I find it irksome. Not really sure what you were angling for when you sent this, but I hope it's not too hard to read. (sarcasm)
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rocknrollsalad · 7 months
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stranger things writer's guild daily prompt (date night) stargyle with mentions of buckingham
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Most of Steve’s “dates” with Argyle involved a movie, pizza, and sitting in the living room. It’s fun and fine, sure, but it’s the same way Steve hangs out with Robin, the way they both hang out with Jonathan, or when everyone crashes Steve’s place. This sort of stuff was supposed to be romantic and special, not what one does with Mike Wheeler in the room.
Too cold to plan a picnic and too conservative of a town to go to a fancy restaurant, the choices were limited. Or Steve wasn’t creative enough. There hadn’t been a need for creativity in the past, as Robin was quick to point out. Repeatedly.
A quick bite to eat and back to Steve’s place, have her out before morning. It was practically a routine and just as boring. Things weren’t boring with Argyle and it certainly wasn’t difficult to get him back to Steve’s place but when that’s where the dates were limited to, he wasn’t even sure he could call it bringing a date home. Never mind his reputation, it wasn’t what he wanted for his life.
Meanwhile, Robin had been bragging since the night of her and Chrissy’s first date. Turns out it’s a lot easier for two women to go to a fancy restaurant and share dinner or go play mini golf together. They look like friends making the best of life. Not that they get to hold hands or kiss but Robin said they could share bites of food across the table and not even get a glance their way.
No way Steve could do that. There could be a medical emergency happening in one end of the restaurant but if he held a fork out for Argyle to take a bite of his food, the place would swarm to mock them.
Deep down, Steve was happy for Robin. She and Chrissy were cute, and Steve loved them both, but it was also unfair. Plus, Robin was only sharing this to rub salt in the wounds not so Steve could be happy for them.
Even as he helped Robin decide what to wear for tonight’s dinner (listening to nothing he said), he couldn’t help but sulk. She couldn’t help but dance around her bedroom about it. It was the way they got along and Steve knew for a fact if the tables were turned he would be as insufferable. It was all in good fun.
Robin still wasn’t getting a date, she just got more variety than pizza in her bedroom. Something Steve so desperately wanted. He sent her off with ridiculous tips on how to score that weren’t needed, they were meant to offer what torture he could and settled in at home for the night.
When Argyle came in, unexpectedly, with two pizza boxes hoisted above his head, something in Steve snapped.
“I feel like my mom,” Steve growled, standing up and offering no further explanation.
“Is this, like, something bad?” Argyle asked, putting the boxes down and pulling a tape out of his pocket.
“Okay, but like, my mom always complained to my dad about, like, collecting dust here. All day, she stayed at home and it was going to be the death of her or whatever.”
“Theatrics run in the family, got it.”
“But it makes sense. I don’t want to sit at home and watch movies and eat pizza. There’s so much we could be doing. This is so stupid.”
Argyle continued to stare confused and Steve didn’t know what to add next. If he said anything more it would start to be personal attacks. Ones he wouldn’t mean and would spend weeks repairing. Instead, he deflated. This was it. He wasn’t any more creative than this and Argyle was happy so why not watch another movie? At least if they got distracted they could rewind.
Before Steve could trudge off to get plates, though, an idea popped up. Deliciously fun and could only work once but it was worth a shot.
“Big question but do you trust me?” Steve asked, trying to offer a smile.
There wasn’t a second of silence before Argyle said “Of course!”
“Then let’s have some fun. Robin and Chrissy are over and Enzo’s right now having dinner and rubbing it in our faces they get to do all the stuff in the movies we’re left at home to watch.”
“Right on,” Argyle said, not yet seeing the vision.
“C’mon, just come with me. It’ll be fine. This is going to be so good.”
Steve had all the time in the world to explain, there was something of a deadline but nothing so urgent he couldn’t spare five minutes, but it was way more fun to act like there wasn’t any time for that. This was a mission they’d accepted, the clock was ticking!
With that, Steve took off to his room. Standing at his closet, he knew what he was going to wear but sizing up the…slightly taller man he’d be going with, the broader shoulders, in general they were not the same size and that would be a problem.
Deep in the back, Steve found a plain gray sweater. It was a bit too big on him and would be too small on Argyle but would work. Tossing to him, he grabbed his own outfit.
“We are going on a date! We’re not doing this whole thing again, I need more and I know how to get it.”
Argyle thought the sweater over, listening.
“Like I said, Chrissy and Robin are out right now and, I don’t know, I think they’re a bit lonely on their date and since that’s my best friend, I can’t allow that.”
Steve watched the lightbulb turn on over Argyle’s head. A test Steve didn’t know he’d issued but he watched closely to see how this was taken. If Argyle protested and tried to talk Steve out of it or thought it was stupid, maybe they weren’t the right fit for each other.
What Argyle did was let a devilish grin grow on his face as he slowly nodded his head. “I gotchya, man. I gotchya,” He looked back at the sweater Steve had thrown him then snapped his stare up to Steve. “She’s gonna kill ya, though, you know that right.”
“Right there in Enzo’s. We’re going to ruin her night and then she’s going to ruin everyone else’s. It’ll be hilarious. So we get one shot at this! We can’t fuck this up. I’m not dying for nothing.”
“Noble!” Argyle pumped his fist in the air and laughed.
Steve couldn’t remember the last time he was this excited for a date. Giddy was a more apt word as he shed the clothes he’d been lounging in and swapped them out for something befitting a formal dinner.
Sure Argyle would be wearing a comfy pair of weirdly printed pants and high-top Converse but it’s not like the man shipped out his tuxedo. Something about the juxtaposition of the two styles was something only Argyle could make work. Half dressed and bubbling with excitement Steve stole a kiss.
Being a thorn in Robin’s side was fun and all but this was a date. Something Steve wanted in a way that almost hurt. With his own sweater in hand, Steve threw it on without care, looking at Argyle.
“I can deal with Robin being mad at me but we can’t ruin Chrissy’s good time. She’s collateral damage here and I’d feel like an asshole if she didn’t forgive me.”
Argyle nodded.
“Let’s be real, she’ll have to get used to this but let’s stop by and get her flowers? Y’know and maybe I can get you some too?”
“Is it a peace offering if it’s just an excuse to get me some?” Argyle asked, crowding into Steve’s space.
There’s a different energy to things and has Steve thinking they don’t need to ruin anyone’s date night. Maybe things are more fun at home. He sucks in a breath and tries to act unaffected.
“Something, something the thought?” Steve tries.
“Mmhmm, definitely. Yeah but what’re your thoughts.”
“Nothing I could tell Chrissy right now, that’s for damn sure.” With eyes a little too wide, Steve looks up at Argyle.
He knows at that moment they’re not leaving. Not a bit of his brain can find a complaint. Somewhere in the excitement and attempted romance they veered off the path and Steve was so ready to get lost. They could ruin Chrissy and Robin’s night some other time.
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themidnightcircusshow · 7 months
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Every new thing I learn about James Somerton's process just drives home how he almost (but really doesn't) knows what he's doing. Yes, of course you use the sources you read as a jumping off point. Of course you copy and paste the important sections into your outline document so you can reread them. That's why you put them in quotation marks.
#James Somerton#honesty time: I totally believe he did this by accident#his entire problem is that he writes like a fandom account with bad takes#his anecdotal evidence that Todd in the Shadows spent a two hour video trying to find sources for?#they're all fandom drama taken out of their cultural context#(yes fandom counts as a subculture and therefore has specific context)#and all of it gets attributed to straight white women coz everyone knows shippers are all straight and cis women /s#he simultaneously treats his videos like bad fandom meta and Documentaries of Great Importance and those just do not mesh#it's part of why his videos were so unbearable if you actually knew what he was talking about#he learned how to make a youtube video essay. He did not learn how to write or study any of his chosen subject matter#I think that's also why he was not expecting to be called out the way he has because I suspect he probably thought everyone wrote this way#a lot of old video essayists especially the Chez Apocalypse bunch were very good at not broadcasting just how much went into their videos#so their style that has now become the norm feels incredibly off the cuff but is heavily researched#but also they are using that research to support their own hypotheses and ideas as you are supposed to#so I wonder if when he got called out he just brushed it off because surely he just writes the same way everyone writes#(and hey fandom posts are rarely cited because they assume everyone knows what they are talking about)#it almost makes me feel sorry for him but all I can think about is how catstrophically bad he is at this job#oh and for everyone wondering: I've found the best way to research is to put quotes in quotation marks#paraphrasing in either different punctuating or a different colour#and your own personal thoughts based on the source in something different again#all with the correct citations for your preferred style#this makes sure you have everything cited so when you put it all together you can do it easily without having to go back through it all#and prevents this from happening#(tbh I'm kinda sad I'm not still teaching. This would have been a perfect meme for how to do your damn citations week)
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