#but he’s fully assaulted by memories of sirius

[padfootastic]

I have read through your posts and I know you like the dark! Sirius Black trope, but what do you think about dark! James? Yesterday I was scrolling through tik tok and I found this snippet where sirius was killed and dark lord Potter was unleashed and unhinged. Do you think sunshine James could destroy everyone and everything if Sirius was killed?

hello, friend! my sincerest apologies for the delay but—i am here now and let’s tackle this.

so. dark!james. very, very fascinating idea because it’s just so…incongruous to what we usually see him as? like, at least in our circles, it’s accepted he can be a bully & can be insensitive but to be truly dark? capable of say, premeditated murder? well.

i personally cant imagine it very well, i’m not gonna lie. i think sirius is very much the ‘i’ll burn the world down for u’ part of their dynamic and james’ just has. too much of a rigid moral code to very cross that line ykno? that’s not really a bad thing, of course.

however, i do see him as the kind who would destroy a person say, politically or financially or socially. like, he has a lot of privilege, yeah? usually doesn’t do anything with it but if sirius is killed? he’ll do everything in his considerable power to ensure those responsible are suffering as much as possible. he’ll get their businesses blacklisted, their families ostracised, run a public smear campaign etc etc. he would be able to justify it to himself as ‘just revenge’ ykno?

and i’ve mentioned this before in that ask ab sirius dying on halloween instead of sirius but as equal as i believe j/s is, i do think they occupied different spaces in each other’s life. where sirius clung more desperately, more possessively to james; i think james was much more secure & grounded and wouldn’t be as…dependent? on sirius. so if the roles were reversed, i can see s going a bit unhinged (as he did) but not james, exactly.

i do think he’ll spend the rest of his life fighting for sirius’ memory to be alive & honoured tho. do the things s wanted but wasn’t able to. keep a lifelong vigil for him.

[spikybanana]

@wolfstarmicrofic - prompt: sunset - near the end of school in the figure skaters au, sirius fucks up big time I'm sorry cw: mentions of injury, sickness, scarring, hospitals, blood

When Remus came to, it was to the garish light of the hospital, and the smell of faint traces of blood mingled with overpowering antiseptic. He grimaced before fully aware of the sharp pain that slashed across his face, which only exacerbated the sting. 

“Fuck.” he breathed out. Blinking his eyes clear, he took in the bare room and off-white walls, a table full of flowers like someone was dying— which he wasn’t, and— Lily dozing in an armchair by the bed. He tried to sit up, but was immediately hit with such a wave of nausea, that he had to let his ringing head fall back down, squeezing his eyes shut. Right, so head, face; and several other spots up and down his body were sore and perhaps bruised, but otherwise he was okay. He heard Lily stirring in her chair.

“Remus?” her voice came close by his ear, “You’re awake?”

“Yeah.” He opened his eyes and looked straight at Lily’s concerned gaze. He tried to offer a smile in reassurance, but it pulled on the wound across his face and came out as a wince. He couldn’t remember much of the last time he was conscious, all that his memories offered was a haze of blood and panic. 

“Just lie still,” Lily took one of his hands in hers, pressing her lips to his knuckle, “you got a concussion from the fall.”

Remus let out a snort, “yeah, sure did.” He wondered if he could have handled the fall better, but he was surprised. It was perhaps a skater’s worst nightmare to catch a skate in the face. And given his height as well, it was almost impressive. He gingerly raised his free hand to his face, followed the scar across his nose and down his cheek, raised with both swelling and fresh stitches. Well. At least he didn’t lose an eye like he almost feared. It was almost too close. “I wasn’t out for that long, right?”

“No. It’s only been a day. Remus it’s— bad—”

“You mean this?” Remus looked cross-eyed down at his nose, “I know that.”

Lily fell silent. Her expression grew pained, she looked down then away, shoulders tense and clutching Remus’ hand like a lifeline. “I don’t know how much you know.”

“Well, it was Snape who got me, wasn’t it?” he began alarmedly. Injuries in collisions never came singly. “And he lost his footing because he collided with— Sirius? Lily, is Sirius alright?”

“Remus,” she drew in a breath, Remus had almost never seen her so uncertain. “I— I don’t know. I don’t know what to think.”

“Is he injured? Is he here as well?”

“Sirius wasn’t. Severus was, however, and he claims it’s because Sirius tried to trip him, shove him or something—”

“What? That bastard—”

“And Sirius admitted to it.”

The anger was killed as quickly as it was raised. Left only was an empty crater of what and why and— “No.”

“He did,” Lily harshly rubbed away tears from her eyes, “Snape broke his ankle, and wants Sirius investigated. He’s banded with the Malfoys too, and it isn’t fair but Sirius— it was an unprovoked assault on ice, and I just don’t understand why he would—”

“No.” Remus repeated. He felt his head ringing even though he hadn’t moved it on the pillow, “we fought.”

“What do you mean?”

“We had a fight before that ice session.” he said as flatly as he could manage, while tears rose uninvited to his eyes. “And he took that out on—” his throat knotted, and he could not go on.

“But— The two of you— I’ve never known you two to fight.”

“Guess it’s been brewing for a while.” He didn’t look at Lily, he didn’t want to see the look on her face. He desperately pushed his mind away, away from the angry things they said and didn’t mean, oh why couldn’t the concussion have at least taken that out. “How long do they say I’ll be off the ice?” He said, before he could start playing the guilt game with himself.

He could tell Lily swallowed a reprimand about priorities before replying, “weeks, at least.”

“That means we miss out on the Challenger series.”

Lily was silent for a beat, then said quietly, “I wished you didn’t bring that up.”

Right. Because they’d been training all year for a shot at the international stage in their first year of seniors. They did well enough at the nationals, they were promising, but now with an injury so close to the competition, they’d have to withdraw. What was that about not playing the guilt game again? 

“Sorry.” Remus offered.

“That’s not what I mean, Remus.”

All the same. Somewhere in his head, it felt like an era was ending. The crack upon impact seemed irreparable (at least not in his skull), and all that’s been revealed of Sirius, of them, was probably proof that Remus had never really reached him past the surface, anyway. Remus didn’t reply, and the two of them sat in a silence filled only by their breathing and the old air condition’s buzz. When he looked out the window, the scorch of a sunset had just begun to spread along the horizon. The clouds, like everything Remus thought he knew, were soon to be set aflame.

[copper-dust]

Snape's Worst Memory Analysis, Part 3: The Hexes

See Part 1: Moral Ambiguity

See Part 2: Masculinity

The Significance of the Hexes

My first two analyses of Snape’s Worst Memory mine territory that has already been pretty thoroughly explored by other writers of meta. One detail of the scene which I have not seen anyone address yet is the significance and symbolic weight of the specific hexes that James, Sirius and Severus cast against each other. Yes, we know that Sectumsempra and Levicorpus are jinxes that Severus himself invented. But I want us to consider five spells in this scene and how they might play out were the scene to take place in a non-magical world. I think you might notice how the nature of the aggression changes when you picture these attacks conducted without magic.

Impedimenta: Sirius runs after Snape and trips him. Snape falls and Sirius physically pins him to the ground so he can’t get up.

Scourgify: With Severus still held down by Sirius, James forces Severus’s mouth open and either pours liquid dish soap down his throat or else forces a bar of soap deep into his mouth, causing him to gag and choke. Note that those aren’t my words; Rowling literally uses “gag” and “choking” in her own description.

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him--

Sectumpsempra: Lily attempts to intervene and Severus calls her a racial slur. While James and Sirius are distracted by Lily, Severus manages to get up and whip out his switchblade, which he uses to slash open James’s face.

Levicorpus: This spell is most difficult to explain in non-magical terms, but let’s imagine that James physically yanks down Severus’ trousers, exposing his underpants.

Petrificus Totalus: This is the second last spell cast on Severus in the chapter, and it is Sirius who casts it. Let’s imagine he knocks Severus to the ground and holds him down again. After this, James once again hoists Severus into the air, exposing his underwear and threatening to remove it (which we can imagine as physically yanking off his underpants.)

Wow. You might have noticed that without magic, this scene—which was already pretty rough in canon—is positively brutal. It reminds me, if anything, of This Is England. In that film, a ten-year-old boy living in 1980s Thatcherite England falls in with a gang of racist skinheads who protect him from bullies. The violence becomes very real when we remove the veneer of magic and fantasy.

One thing I’d like to point out is how much more disturbing and noticeable the Scourgify charm becomes when we imagine James either pouring liquid soap down Severus’s throat, or shoving a bar of soap into his mouth. ‘Gagging’ and ‘choking’ are harsh forms of sexualized language, forewarning of the nature of the assault that James perpetrates against Severus with Levicorpus. Further, soap is strongly associated with male-on-male violence, not only because of ‘dropping the soap’ jokes made about male prisons, but also because of ‘blanket parties’ held in army boot camp. (A blanket party involves two trainee soldiers trapping the victim under a blanket while other soldiers whack the victim with a sock that has a bar of soap inside.) The soap attack can also be a form of classism; Sirius and James come from wealthy families, while Severus’ family home—as extrapolated from the description of Spinner’s End in Half-Blood Prince—likely does not have a bathtub or shower with running water.

There’s something about this scene that stands out in harsh contrast to the fights that Harry and his friends have with Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle. Those arguments usually involve exchanging mutual insults and punching, but not two-on-one, and not in a sexualized manner. I believe that the mature, adult-oriented violence of SWM probably popularized the Marauder’s Era in fanfiction, particularly with adult readers. If this is the sort of conflict happening in broad daylight on Hogwarts grounds, then can you imagine what fully-fledged battles between the Order and the Death Eaters might have looked like, just a few years later?

Conclusion

Snape’s Worst Memory is an incredibly long chapter, and the scene involving Harry’s dive into the Pensieve is only one small part. This chapter also includes Umbridge interrogating Harry with Veritaserum, Fred and George setting off fireworks around the school, the introduction of the Inquisitorial Squad, and Harry’s final fight with Cho. The emotional roller coaster of this chapter alone could probably serve as a microcosm of Order of the Phoenix. The Pensieve scene serves to advance Harry’s character arc, as he discovers that he must forge his own sense of morality rather than simply adopting that of his role models. This scene is the most important and memorable scene in the chapter, and in my top three for Order of the Phoenix. Especially for adult readers who understand the contradictions between their adult and child selves, this scene brings a complex and disturbing level of maturity to our understanding of the Marauders generation.

[zaina-xoxo]

Harry Potter headcanons (sad)

That Hermione and Ron always wanted a huge family. Like, 5 children filling a burrow. However, they ended up with only two. Why? Hermione’s torture at the hands of Bellatrix left its marks, and she couldn’t have children after Hugo. Dark Magic always left marks.

That Dumbledore never really left limbo. He stayed there forever, unable to allow himself to move due to the blood he had on his hands, lives he sacrificed for the greater good.

That George dyed his hair blue after the battle in order to stop reminding himself of Fred every time he saw a mirror.

That Grindelwald never stopped loving Dumbledore, and during their final duel, he actually had an opportunity to kill him, but couldn’t gather the will. Dumbledore used that moment to win.

That during Snape’s death, those tears with the memories, were also a sacrifice. Those tears were the memories themselves. So, when he died and went to the afterlife … he didn’t remember the person most featured in those memories, the one they focused on. In death, he never remembered Lily.

After the battle of hogwarts, Dennis Creevey becomes a photographer …. which was what his brother, Colin, had wanted to become when he grew up.

That Sirius willingly fell into the veil, which only kills if you completely were thrown into it. What happened was that half of his body went to the other side, and he was immediately assaulted by whispers of his dead loved ones, especially lily and James. He died with a smile, as he jumped in to his next great adventure.

That for the first fifteen years of his life, what Tom Riddle saw in the Mirror of Erised was himself with his parents in a rich household, in a loving family. All he wanted was to be loved. All that changed when he made his first horcrux.

That Dumbledore’s boggart was himself. And, that it really was him who killed Ariana, something he found out in the afterlife.

When Ron was a little boy he overheard his aunt Muriel talking to her friend that how amazing Ron's elder brothers were. But she called Ron ‘Molly's failed attempt for a girl’. She also said that Ron was worthless and he was no one compared to his elder brothers. Ron had developed insecurities about not being good enough from that overheard conversation.

When Ron left in DH Hermione wrote a letter. Conveying EVERYTHING she felt for him. She was almost certain that she would never see him again. She would never be able to tell him how she felt for him. She kept that letter in her beaded bag. Years later Ron found out that letter. And he cried.

Once during an auror mission Ron was injured badly. He almost died. Hermione didn't leave his side for once. When he was slightly better, Hermione told him that she was pregnant. That was when Ron had decided to quit his job.

When Ron and Hermione were staying at the shell cottage Hermione had a long conversation with Fleur. Hermione told her that there was a huge chance that she wouldn't survive the battle of Hogwarts. She was a muggleborn afterall. So if something happened she wanted Ron to move on with his life. She wanted Fleur to promise her that she would help Ron to move on with his life.

When the flashing green light came rushing at James Potter's way he didn't see death, but was reminded of two pairs of vibrant green eyes staring lovingly at him.

Death works differently in the HPU. Once you die, you have the choice to stay in limbo for as long as you want, or to take the train. You could also become a ghost. However, along with that there’s also the choice of becoming a creature which is the embodiment of death - a thestral. This is why Luna has a favourite Thestral, and why there’s a huge influx of them in the forbidden forest after the battle of hogwarts.

Neville kept visiting his parents. With every milestone that he hit — graduating Hogwarts, marrying Hannah Abbott, being hired as a professor — he made it a tradition to see them. It was not until he visited with a baby girl in his arms, Alice Francesca Longbottom, that he saw a flash of recognition in his mother’s eyes.

The day Harry was born, all the marauders found themselves in St. Mungo’s. Hours later, Remus awoke in his chair just in time to see a black-haired man with a crooked nose regarding the new-born. With a last glance upon Lily he left, seemingly unseen.

As a child Teddy had a huge crush on his Aunt Hermione, and he would often give her flowers and ask her if they could get married someday. Once he grew up, he was commonly teased about his childhood crush on his aunt (not sad)

During the first few years that Severus was teaching at Hogwarts, all of the other teachers were very uncertain of him. They all thought that Dumbledore was mad for hiring him, as they all knew of his reputation as a Death Eater. But eventually he struck up a very playful rivalry with Minerva. They would sit together at Quidditch matches and pass snarky comments back and forth, both of them snorting in amusement. It also wasn’t uncommon to find them sat together in the evenings, having a cup of tea or a glass of firewhiskey. By the time Harry Potter came to Hogwarts, Minerva believed in him almost as much as Dumbledore did. (He often urged Severus to tell her the real reason he defected from the Death Eaters, but Severus always refused.) His hatred of the young Gryffindor was often a point of contention between the two unlikely friends, but their friendship remained strong. It withstood Voldemort’s return and the reformation of the Order of the Phoenix. But in the aftermath of the Battle of the Astronomy Tower and Dumbledore’s death, Minerva was completely shocked and outraged. She couldn’t believe she’d ever befriended him at all and swore she’d never forgive herself for trusting him. During the last year the two taught together she avoided him at all costs, talking to him only when it was absolutely necessary, and when she had to she did so rather stiffly. After the Battle of Hogwarts ended and he was dead, however, she learned the truth about his actions from Harry, who told her about his tragic tale. She cried on and off for days. And the first time she came face to face with his portrait she completely broke down.

Had Fred not died, the twins would have had an overly casual double wedding [and would probably switch places to mess with their brides]

When Remus woke up in Harry’s compartment in POA, he saw Harry giving him the same comforting and concerned look as James. For a moment he thought he was seeing James again. Then in sunk in that his dear friend was dead and it was James’ son.

Teddy saw Sirius’ picture once. He didn’t know who he was, so he changed himself to look like him. It was only when he grew up that he understood why Harry started crying when he saw him.

Once Professor McGonagall was made headmistress, she let Hagrid become a student. Harry saw Hagrid’s Patronus for the first time in his life three years after the war. It was Hedwig.

When Petunia and Lily were little, they would read Alice in Wonderland. Petunia would read Dudley the book, fully knowing he didn’t like it. She was reading it for Harry, who was listening from inside his cupboard. Petunia believed she owed this to Lily.

When Harry was a baby, he didn’t know his own name. Each of the marauders gave him a nickname. (James called him troublemaker.) When he lived with the Dursleys, and they called him a “troublemaker”, toddler Harry would get excited thinking that his dad was going to take him away from these horrible people.

During the Battle of Hogwarts, Nearly-Headless Nick’s head finally came off. Hence, he had to join the Headless Hunt. Thus, Gryffindor needed a new applicant. The new house ghost was a 17-year-old redheaded man and a large group of 12 students were excited to meet their beloved uncle.

When Teddy Lupin was a baby, his color turned into the person he wanted to hold him. Occasionally, it was Harry or Ginny or any other Weasley. But one day it turned pink and he could do nothing about it.

The Marauders used to take turns babysitting Harry, and it became a tradition to pass the baby and say, “You’re it. Good luck.” And the last thing Sirius saw as he fell through the veil was Remus holding Harry, and the last thought that went though his head was, “You’re it. Good luck.”

After Fred’s funeral, George does not return to the Burrow until about a year later. He refuses to go upstairs where his and Fred’s old room is and barely says a word. His hair is some wild outrageous color, cropped short and crooked, and Mrs. Weasley goes into a fit. She loudly asks why he would do that to himself, and is not prepared when he says, “I kept seeing him in the mirror.”

It’s the year after the Battle of Hogwarts. The school is still being repaired and the class size has dwindled down to pitiful numbers. And the Thestrals are so excited about the newfound attention they’d been getting.

Dobby wrote a will in which he sent Harry over 200 pairs of socks, Ron a pair of trainers, and a misshapen hat for Hermione.

No matter what he was doing or who he was with, Harry would always stop and pet any stray dog that he came across. If he could, he would give them any food he had. Eventually he became known as the man with the treats. Not Harry Potter or the Chosen One; just the quiet man with dogbones. When dogs would bound up to him, throwing their paws onto his chest and barking with glee at his arrival, he was reminded irresistibly of Sirius.

At Colin’s funeral, Harry didn’t say a word. He had been to so many funerals recently that pleasantries felt like a waste of breath, and how terrible would it be for him to waste his breath when he was so lucky to have it? He stood silent and watching, and as the last of the attendees left, Harry placed a tiny picture on Colin’s grave, taken by the late boy himself. It was the only autograph Harry Potter would ever give.

On May 2nd, 1998, Hogwarts held a moment of silence for the fallen. Not a single portrait stirred, not a single stair shifted. Even Peeves ducked into a corner and went silent. Then, when the silence ended, millions of different colored sparks took off into the sky.

Tonks is easily excitable and loved entertaining Hermione and Ginny with her Metamorphosis abilities. One day, she found a picture of Harry in Sirius’ room to turn herself into, and ran downstairs to show Remus and Sirius. And it wasn’t until Tonks watched their hearts break that she realized Harry’s eyes were the wrong color.

Harry kept each and every one of the sweaters that Mrs. Weasley had knitted him. One day while cleaning, she saw them folded with so much care in his drawer. She turned to see Harry wearing his newest Christmas Sweater proudly, like it was the greatest honor he could have been given, and she burst into tears.

One day, Harry accidentally calls Mrs. Weasley “Mum” instead of Molly. His face goes bright red, fumbling with apologies, and she (once again) burst into tears.

The first thing Draco Malfoy did after the war was Apparate into Muggle London and march straight into a tattoo parlor. He emerges, his face still bloody and burned, with an arm void of a black skull. Instead, he looks down at the skin covered in flowers and the skull changed into a silhouette of the castle, and smiles for the first time in two years.

George pulls Harry aside:

(“Harry, you’ve died, haven’t you?”

Harry looked up at George and regarded him, careful not to let any incredulousness show in his eyes — he knew all too well of the torment George must be feeling, of the weight in what he was visibly preparing himself to say.

“I have,” said Harry carefully.

George dipped his head; as he did, Harry caught something in his eyes that pained him so deeply, he was grateful George had tried to hide it from him.

“Does it...” George spoke to his shoes, and his voice sounded much older than Harry remembered. “Did... Did dying hurt, Harry? D’you think… that Freddie was in pain when...”

But George did not need to specify. Like he had been smacked right across the face with the words left unspoken, Harry knew, and it was a long time before he answered.

“It didn’t hurt,” said Harry resolutely, like he was deciding it right then and there.“It didn’t?”

“Quicker and easier than falling asleep.”)

When Remus Lupin took the Map from Harry, he sat there for hours, opening and reopening it wrong on purpose just to see the clever insults sprout on the paper. It was almost like his friends, alive and well, were talking to him for the first time in 12 years.

The day Molly Weasley dies, the first thing she sees is a girl with red hair sprinting toward her. She panics, thinking it might be Ginny, but she sees startling green eyes and knows who it is immediately. Lily Potter pulls Mrs. Weasley into a hug and in a choked voice, whispers, “Thank you.”

Harry memorized every name of the 50 Fallen after the war ends. The day he dies, old and surrounded by his children, he repeats their names in his head like a mantra and begs for their forgiveness.

Eleven years later, at Hogwarts, students fill a corridor filled with portraits of those who died in the Battle of Hogwarts. They look for Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and other famous faces, but there’s a blue-haired first year in their midst, trying desperately to remember what his parents had looked like.

James Potter lost both of his parents at once. The news was delivered to him by Professor McGonagall with Sirius by his side, but James was in denial. He kept insisting that she was lying, and it wasn’t until Sirius broke down into tears that James knew, and it broke him.

Crookshanks was the Potters family cat mentioned in sirius' letter and escaped godrics hollow after Halloween and managed to find the magical menagerie. He found hermione and stayed with her because harry was only allowed hedwig and Ron already had scabbers. This is why he was especially angry towards Ron, due to smelling his masters betrayer on him, and didn't run away from sirius’ grim form.

Hedwig was a guardian angel. Hedwig is smarter than most owls and other animals in the magical world, often appearing to harry when he needs to write a letter. Female snow owls like hedwig are mostly white but they have grey marks and spots on their back wings, hedwig is portrayed as a white male snowy owl. White as an angelic being perhaps Perhaps? Perhaps hedwig was sent by his parents as a guard and friend to him, its why hedwig didn't want anyone else adopting her.

Dementors come from the death eater who were thrown into the Veil. Ever wonder why the veil of death is barley used? After the souls escape to the after life the bodies of those who enter become husks of their former selves, hungry for souls. Unmasked before thrown in with only the cloaks on their backs.

Four years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Molly Weasley was busy preparing food for Ron’s birthday. She mistakenly barked to George, “Get that chicken out of the oven, Fred!” George silently whispered, “Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother?”

JK Rowling has revealed that Lily Potter was pregnant was her second child when she was killed. Even worse, she had convinced James to make Snape the godfather of the child.

At Luna’s wedding, the whole of the front seats were reserved. Harry went up to her at the end of service and asked, “Luna, who’s sitting there?” Luna smiled her usual smile and said, “Right. They did sit here in a spiritual way I suppose.” She pointed the seats one by one, “Right, that’s for my mother, those are for your parents, that one is for Sirius, that one is for Professor Lupin, that one is for Tonks, then Mad-Eye, then Fred Weasley, then Professor Dumbledore, and then Professor Snape. Right then, bye!” Harry had never felt so touched before.

The reason Bellatrix was so wretchedly insane and slavishly devoted to Voldemort was that she lived for the promise that one day, if she did enough, someone might say “I love you” back. I know that she doesn’t deserve this but for love… wow Bellatrix.

When Harry and Ginny went to search for a house to live in they found an apparently perfect house, Ginny loves it, but Harry rejects with a clear excuse about it being too big for them. Ginny doesn’t notice Harry’s fixed look on the Cupboard under the stairs.

Before the Horcrux hunt, Ron and Hermione decided, that if either of them had to choose between saving each other's lives or Harry’s, they had to choose Harry for the sake of the world. No matter how painful it would be for them to let go of each other.

Sirius and Remus saved memories for Harry. Remus left them for Harry in his will, when Harry got a hold of them he got to see a part of James he never got to see in Snape's memory.

After the battle of Hogwarts, Neville went to visit his parents to tell them about it. After he finished, his mother, who normally spoke nonsense, smiled and said one word: “Proud”

On November 3rd 1981, Sirius Black sat alone in a cell in Azkaban softly singing: “Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Sirius...” whilst tears streamed down his face, wishing he could go back in time.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter, James and Sirius were out in public together one sunny afternoon. The elderly couple was talking to someone with that someone asking, “Oh, are these your sons?” Sirius turned beet red and becoming utterly flustered. Mr. Potter simply smiled and says, “Yes, they are.” With Mrs. Potter nodding proudly in agreement. Never once did they think to reply in any other way.

Harry as a preschooler drew two blond blots and a big black blot with a little black one standing a bit further away beside them with “My Family” scratched over the top and presented it to Uncle Vernon who ripped it apart and threw it away right in front of him.

When Harry and Ginny were married they moved to a house in Godric’s Hollow. After Lily was born and got older, she would visit her grandmother and namesake's grave everyday and leave lilies.

Harry Potter died at the ripe age of 101 surrounded by his loved ones, when he opened his eyes again he returned to the place he parted from his old mentor many years ago, but it wasn't Albus Dumbledore who greeted him at the station this time around. Standing a few feet away from him where a young couple patiently waiting for the son they were ripped away from so long ago to take him home and Harry Potter, the boy who lived, went gladly.

After the war, Minerva McGonagall went into a spiral of depression. It was brought on by watching so many students grow and die before her eyes.

At Ginny’s wedding she danced with George twice so it would feel like she was dancing with Fred.

After the second Wizarding War, everyone who died was given a chocolate frog card. When Teddy Lupin was on the train going to his first year of Hogwarts, he got the cards that had his parents on them, and it was like they were sending him off themselves.

These made me cry when I read them, I just can't :(

[fleetingpieces]

My One in a Million Chapter 8

Hiiiii! I'm back from the dead and finally got back to writing again <3

Sorry it took ages—and sorry it's not a great chapter— but thank you so much everyone for the patience and support, it means so much!

Thank you @inloveoknutzy @donttouchmycarrots and @knittingdreams for beating, love y'all! <3

Tag list: @whataboutmyfries @justdyingontheinside @heyoitslysso @sunflowerfox87 @hereforwolfstarr @potterlocked24-7 @ttylfedora @domesticatedbeetlenamedjorge @lovemeleo @im-lana

CW: Mentions of food

Ao3

Masterlist

Chapter 8 - The morning after

Remus woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. He blinked a few times to get the tiredness out of his eyes—which seemed to want to stay glued shut—and stared at the ceiling for long moments.

His first thought was that, for a second, he thought he could hear Padfoot’s laugh. Vague images of a dream he’d had came flooding back to him; long corridors, empty beds and his gaming console. The sound must have been a remnant of that.

The second thought was that the ceiling of his room was weird. He couldn’t quite pinpoint where the bugging sensation came from, but something was off and he was way too tired to figure out what it was. Maybe he should just go back to sleep. Groaning, he turned around to do just that, and that’s when he got a good look at the rest of the room.

He sat up with a start, regretting it instantly when nausea hit him like a wave. Closing his eyes, he stayed still until the feeling ebbed away, then opened them again slowly.

This wasn’t his room. There was no sign of any of his stuff; instead, he saw a big mirror, a dark wood chest of drawers, and a trail of scattered things that either belonged to different people or to someone with diverse tastes: a blue hair tie, a black snapback, t-shirts that at a glance he could tell were of different sizes, with stamps that varied from Disney to Strand.

One by one, memories from the night before popped up as the fogginess from sleep left him completely. That’s right, Sirius had offered his home to him after he’d found Remus outside of his flat; he’d come in to take a shower and had sat on the couch as they watched a movie and drank. Things were a bit hazy from that point on.

Had he really pouted and asked Sirius to stay with him like a little kid? Fuck, please let that be a part of the drunk hallucinations. He turned around slowly, glancing to the other side of the bed with his heart beating fast in his throat, but the spot next to him was empty.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Remus threw the blankets to the side and planted his feet on the floor to get some resemblance of stability, but frowned when he stepped on something. Looking down, he noticed a pillow and a blanket lying rumpled on the floor, next to his side of the bed.

A pang of guilt made its way to his chest when he realised Sirius must have slept on the floor while Remus was on the bed, covered from head to toe and warm. Sirius had been so careful with him. Every touch had been gentle, not invasive but rather trying not to overstep, trying to comfort. So, so very careful.

Remus felt slightly ashamed for thinking Sirius would take advantage of him. Not to mention for the way he'd bawled his eyes out in front of the man. He’d made a fool of himself yet again, something that kept happening a lot as of late and to which he wasn’t used to.

“Oh, God.” He remembered how he’d felt his mother’s hand brushing his hair before he fell asleep and he desperately hoped he hadn’t called out for her in his dream. Bringing a hand to his forehead, he could almost feel that phantom touch, tracing fingertips over his hairline.

He rubbed his face in embarrassment. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to face Sirius after all that, but there was no way he could fall asleep again and a quick glance at the clock on the opposite wall told him it was barely eight in the morning. It was still too early to call Leo or go back to the clinic, plus he didn’t know how everything had panned out.

Remus glanced at the bedside table where his phone was lying face down and stretched over to grab it. He flipped it from hand to hand, back and forth, the small thing weighing him down every time it fell on his palm with a soft thud.

He could call.

He should call.

But what if something had gone wrong? What if Cocoa had had a complication during the night? Would they have notified him already if that was the case? Did he want to find out like this, far away from him and helpless to do anything? He didn’t want to show any more weaknesses in front of Sirius, he’d already shown more of his vulnerable side than he’d ever intended to.

Nodding to himself, Remus got up and threw the phone on the bed. He took two steps towards the door. The doctor had told him to go in the afternoon; he could wait a couple of hours before going back to the clinic and then he would know and—

A huff escaped him as Remus hurried back and dialed the number, plopping down on the mattress.

“Thank you for calling Mercy Animal Clinic. This is Jennifer, how can I help you?”

“Yes, hi, my name is Remus? I brought my dog in last night for chocolate poisoning and I—I was just calling to check on him?”

“Of course, Sir. What is the patient's name?”

“Cocoa,” said Remus, gripping his phone a bit tighter. Jennifer hummed and asked for a few more details to confirm his identity, to which Remus replied on autopilot, his mind going blank in a subconscious attempt to protect himself.

“Just a second, please.”

Remus busied himself counting the floorboards while he waited, trying to calm his nerves, but it had the opposite effect as he became very aware of how long Jennifer was taking to find what he wanted to know. He’d started tapping his foot when the receptionist finally came back on the other end of the line.

“Yes, everything was ok during the night and Cocoa will be ready to go home after lunch,” they said cheerfully.

Remus’ breath stopped completely and then he exhaled loudly. He could have sworn he felt his heart unclench, invisible fingers letting go of their painful grip and allowing blood to stream freely again. His shoulders dropped, releasing all the pent up tension that had been building there since he’d stepped into his apartment the night before, and he laid down, covering his eyes with his free arm.

“Sir?” Jennifer said hesitantly.

“Yes. Ok. Ok. Thanks, I’ll be there.” He hung up and let the phone fall at his side.

The silence of the room was an echo of his own head as Remus tried to let the words sink in. He peeked at the ceiling from under his arm. Cocoa was fine. The phrase repeated itself a few times until Remus took a deep breath and swung himself up.

The hall was quiet outside of the room, but he could hear some noises coming from ahead. Remus bunched the sleeves of the jumper he was wearing, not too willing to admit how comfy and warm he was in Sirius’ clothes. Especially not when he was assaulted by memories of Sirius helping him walk through this same corridor the night before and Remus almost gave in to the embarrassment. Sirius probably thought he was pathetic.

Groaning, he steeled himself as he padded the rest of the way, but his step faltered before going into the kitchen, a hand rising to settle on the wall. Something smelled amazing in there. Like melted butter and Saturday mornings back home, with his mom humming as she stood by the stove and the sun streamed in through the open windows. The sound of the sizzling pan was accompanied by a rock song playing in the background, a cool guitar distortion filling the room, followed by a gravelly voice singing a capella.

And there was Sirius in the middle of it all, moving around the kitchen gracefully, head bopping and singing into a ladle. He slid across the floor like Tom Cruise in that old movie as he moved to the fridge and a chuckle bubbled out of Remus’ chest, taking with it most of the heaviness still clinging to him.

Sirius jumped up, accidentally closing the fridge door with a bang, and turned to face Remus fully. It was only then that Remus realized what he was wearing: he had black ripped jeans and a black tee, his hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail; and on top of all that, he had one of those aprons that had a buff man printed on the front, that read “Kiss the chef”.

Remus stared for so long that Sirius followed his gaze and looked down, only to look back up quickly with a blush. “It was James’ idea of a joke.”

James, as Remus was quickly learning, took special pleasure in teasing his friends, although Lily claimed he always failed when it came to her. But Sirius clearly treasured anything that came from his best friend, no matter how silly or awkward.

Clearing his throat, Remus stepped into the kitchen and peered at the stove. “What are you making?”

“Pancakes!” Sirius exclaimed, seemingly glad for the rapid move of the subject. “I thought you could use some hangover breakfast,” he added with a shrug before turning back to the mixing bowl on the counter.

“Oh,” Remus said dumbly, taken by surprise. He scrambled for something to add. “Did you get the recipe from the same place as those cookies?”

Sirius spluttered and threw an offended look over his shoulder. “Mon Dieu, I’m never going to live that down, am I? I’ll have you know, these are my speciality. But I won’t give you anything if you keep that attitude up.”

Laughing quietly, Remus breathed a sigh of relief that Sirius wasn't looking at him with pity or mentioning his sorry state from the night before. So much had happened between them in just one day, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act anymore. He shuffled awkwardly to the island and, as he leaned on it, the name of the song Sirius had been dancing to dawned on him.

“I can’t believe you’re actually listening to Black Dog,” Remus said, covering his face, not sure if he wanted to laugh or cry.

“Hey,” Sirius turned to point at him with the batter-covered ladle, “Plant speaks to me on a spiritual level. I’m sending good vibes to Cocoa.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, making an effort to keep the corners of his mouth down. “You do know that the lyrics have nothing to do with dogs, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s the feeling that counts,” he waved his hand dismissively, sending a few vanilla-colored drops flying, “and the song title.” Smiling at that logic, Remus shook his head—as weird as it was, he found it reassuring. Sirius peered at him as he flipped the golden pancakes easily. “I’m glad you look better. How are you feeling?”

Remus tensed up, but it didn’t look like Sirius was making fun of him. Focusing on some point by his feet, he rubbed at his neck. "Yeah, um. Thank you for your help. And sorry about...everything. I guess it was one thing after the other and it was just too much.”

“We’ve been through this, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Sirius smiled tentatively. “Have they contacted you from the vets?”

“Actually, I called just now.” His heart rate picked up as excitement coursed through his body. Saying the words aloud made them even more real, allowed them to settle in and gave way to tiny pinpricks of impatience. “They said everything’s good. I can bring him home after lunch.”

Sirius turned to face him fully and his hand went to grip Remus’ forearm, his smile turning so bright it was almost blinding. “Remus, that’s great.”

Remus smiled too, staring straight at him. “Yeah,” he breathed. After a second too long, he coughed discreetly and moved back. “I just feel like I won’t be able to relax fully until I see him, you know? I wish I could go over now.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Sirius said as he leaned back too, fingers moving to play with the strings of his apron. “Just a few more hours, eh?” Remus hummed noncommittally and, sensing that he needed a bit of a distraction, Sirius turned his attention back to the food. “In the meantime, can you get the plates from over there?” He pointed at a cabinet as he got the pan out of the stove.

Remus did as he was asked and brought them over to the counter, where an array of toppings were waiting. His stomach grumbled as he watched Sirius cutting up some strawberries to place over the pancakes and then drizzling chocolate on top of everything, singing under his breath to the next song on his playlist. It was all oddly domestic. It was nice.

They sat in the living room to eat, though instead of sharing the couch like they had last night, Sirius—now without the ridiculous apron—sat across the coffee table on one of the armrests. Remus took a bite of the fluffy sponge and closed his eyes with a hum. “Ok, you were right. These are awesome.”

Sirius had just taken a mouthful himself, but he beamed before he swallowed and licked some of the chocolate off his finger. “Glad you like them, Re. I don’t think my reputation could have survived another fiasco.”

“Are you sure this wasn’t just a lucky mistake?” Remus joked, if only to ignore the way his stomach jumped at the nickname, prompting Sirius to throw a napkin at him.

For the next two hours or so, the conversation was light and easy while the music kept playing at a dim level. But, as time went on and the plates got piled up on the coffee table, Sirius started getting distracted.

He kept glancing at his phone like he was checking the time or waiting for a call. Remus would have thought that he was overstaying his welcome—Sirius had a life to get back to, after all—if it weren’t for the fact that the man kept the conversation going and going, asking questions and gesturing excitedly when he was telling a story about how he and his friends had once managed to get a flock of pigeons inside a train full of passengers. At this point, Remus was pretty sure that Sirius was not capable of lying.

A lazy breeze drifted in from the open window, bringing in the smell of morning dew and ruffling Sirius’ hair so that a few strands fell in front of his face. As he brushed them back, he raised his eyes and pinned Remus with a look that was slowly becoming very familiar. That look that said he wanted to say something but he was choosing his words carefully.

Remus was pretty sure he knew what that meant. So far, everything he’d blabbed about the night before had been skillfully avoided—mostly by Remus averting his eyes every time Sirius looked at him like that. He wasn’t looking away now though. Wasn’t sure he could, honestly; not with such intensity and thinly-veiled concern directed his way. Sirius opened his mouth, the words starting to form at the back of his throat when Remus’ phone pinged.

He jumped slightly and went to quickly fish it out of his pocket, holding on to the getaway it provided. Talking about his behaviour or the few hints he’d let slip about his past was not something he was ready to tackle. A quiet sigh dropped from Sirius’ lips as he got up to take the plates back to the kitchen, while Remus stared at the notification flashing on his home page. “Oh, Padfoot just uploaded a new video?”

The sound of ceramic banging in the sink startled Remus into looking up. “Um...you ok?”

“Yes! Too much soap,” Sirius’ voice came back, muffled slightly by the running water.

Remus snorted and got comfortable on one end of the couch, resting his back on the side and pulling his knees up. He wiggled his toes as he waited for the page to load, digging them into the plush sofa and then tapping his feet when the video finally started. It began like usual, with the starting screen of a game and Padfoot’s cheerful voice.

“Hello everyone and welcome! You’ve all been nagging at me to play with Prongs more often, so I hope you appreciate how much effort it took to get his ass out of bed.”

“That’s so not the introduction I was expecting,” another voice complained.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you want to do it?”

“Why, yes, thank you. Hello y’all! By popular demand and because I know you like me more than this silly goose, I am here to play some games and have fun! Mostly at Padfoot’s expense.”

“You’re the only person in the world who could say ‘silly goose’ and not have everyone laughing at them.”

“I know, it’s a skill I honed for years.”

“What the hell,” Remus laughed, shaking his head fondly.

Sirius came back into the room, drying his hands absentmindedly on his pants as he took his seat back. He sat at the very edge of the cushion, leaning slightly forward with his hands clasped between his knees, eyes down.

Remus made a questioning sound, waving the phone in front of him. “Do you mind?”

“No,” Sirius croaked, gesturing with his hand for him to go on as he cleared his throat.

A small line of confusion pulled Remus’ brows together. Something was definitely going through Sirius’ mind. Deciding to give the man some time, Remus focused his attention back on the video and made a note to ask later if something was bothering him.

Padfoot was talking about the game they were going to play and Remus could feel his energy even through the screen. He always got like this when he was trying something new. Remus pictured him bouncing on his chair, waiting impatiently to start playing, tapping the buttons in anticipation. “He’s like a kid on sugar, isn’t he?” he said without thinking.

A cough came from Sirius’ spot. “Well, I… I think it’s...nice? He sounds happy.”

The corners of Remus’ lips tugged up in a small smile at that. “Yeah. That’s good.”

“Huh?”

“He didn’t seem his usual self in the past few streams. I’m just glad he’s ok, is all.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Remus saw how Sirius’ hands gripped his knees tightly, slipping through the holes in his jeans. Remus watched in silence but, just when he was about to ask what was going on, the video changed. A small square appeared on one of the corners, showing a man sitting in a chair, not much to see in the background, his face covered with the black dog that was his signature logo. Remus sat up straighter. It wasn’t often that Padfoot appeared in his videos and he couldn’t help the interest that sparked inside him whenever it happened. He scanned the small image until something caught his eye.

“Huh? ...Wait. That’s—” Remus froze for a second before promptly throwing his phone to the other end of the couch. “Oh my God.” He covered his mouth, feeling the pull of his mouth as a grin lit up his face, his wide eyes not leaving the small device lying innocently face up. “Oh my God, oh my God.”

“What happened?”

Remus turned to see Sirius looking at him with a confused little smile, probably wondering if he was still drunk or just bonkers.

“He...he’s wearing my merch. My merch.” And one of his favourite hoodies from the collection, at that. “How—How does he even know about me? I know he likes to keep in shape but…”

The faintest blush crossed Sirius’ cheeks. He rubbed his hands together, looking down at them and then back up at Remus’ still astounded face. He took a deep breath and exhaled in one go. “You know, I’m...” He trailed off, mouth opening and closing a few times.

Remus tried to bring his thoughts back to the room, to the man in front of him and not the one on the screen. He bent forward to grab the discarded phone, his mind still reeling as he paused the video. “Yeah?” he prompted Sirius to go on when he straightened back up, smile still in place—he wasn’t sure he could wipe it off even if he wanted to.

Sirius’ grey eyes roamed his face, then went to the phone in his hands before they finally settled on his bright expression and he sighed, smiling and shaking his head. “No, nevermind.”

Remus tilted his head, but Sirius simply shrugged. “Are you sure? You can say it, whatever it is.”

“I don’t think it’s the right time,” Sirius admitted, letting his head fall back as he worried his lip.

Curiosity flared up, dazzling and hot, and Remus tried to water it down, unwilling to trespass Sirius’ boundaries. Instead, he looked down and tried to organise his whirring mind, eyes going to the clock on his phone. “Fuck,” he muttered. He really wanted to finish watching and keep talking with Sirius, but it was getting late. “I should probably get going.”

“Oh,” Sirius blinked as he raised his head up. ��You can stay if you want to.”

“No, I…” Remus stood up. “I should go get the key from Leo. I will probably see both his mom and mine, which means it won’t be a short visit and I’d like to be at the clinic as soon as possible.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Stopping midstep, Remus turned to look at Sirius, eyebrows raised. “Come with me?”

“Yeah, to the clinic? You are not too fond of them.”

It wasn’t a question, but Remus replied anyway, surprised that Sirius had caught on to that at all. “No, I’m not,” he said, dumbfounded. He shook his head. “But it’s ok, you did a lot for me already.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Remus, anyone in my place would have done the same.”

No, they wouldn’t.

“It’s fine, really. Leo will probably come with me,” he said. He wasn’t sure how Sirius could think that everyone was that selfless, that any person would have helped an almost stranger without thinking it was too much effort. Remus chose not to say anything about it, knowing fully well that was not the case.

[whataplottwistyouwere]

My answer to @ottogatto

We have. Every right. To dislike a character. And like another. Especially if they are very different. No matter if it bothers you.

Okay first of all, of course I have no right to tell you what you should say or what you should think.

What I meant was you say Snape is a grey character and you said he bullied, yes. But you forgave him. And yet you can’t forgive James Potter. Who bullied Snape,yes. But who became an amazing person. He was whiter than Snape.

Theres one thing I still can’t understand. HOW CAN YOU JUSTIFY SNAPES BULLYING AND NOT JAMES’S. Of course you can hate James, but you can’t hate him for his bullying; because yourself, is supporting a bully. Which means you have unreasonable hatred AGANIST James.

And of course you can have it. It’s your life and you can do whatever you want. But you have to UNDERSTAND THAT HE WAS A BULLY TOO.

And as much as you have the right to hate James I have the right to hate Snape. And I know you are aware of it.

I understand people liking Snape, but there’s two things I can’t stand. People hating James and people shipping Snily🤮🤮🤮. Im fully aware that everyone can have their opinions. But when i posted a funny post about “Albus S**erus”’s name IN MY OWN BLOG people attacked me.

I didn’t ever blame James for protecting his friends -- I literally said that was “Good” or “Great”. I literally said that the fact he joined the Order was good. I didn’t forget it. I pointed out his flaws just like you exclusively did on Snape’s part.

Yes, but no one wants to read James’s good traits and when they do; they say “good” “great”. The thing you say “good” and “great” to is him risking his own life for the wizarding world. I think he deserves more than “good”

And everyone is so focused on what James did as a 15 year old, a teenager; no one wants to see him as an adult. I’m so sad for James. Can you imagine it? You Do your best for your family and for the wizarding world and get hated because you bUlLiEd a death eater. I’m sure you all went to Highschool. Is every snape’s Fans are saints? No. Did you do nothing bad?!

Snape did everything I talked about as an adult. But Snape Fans ARENT over what a 15 year old boy did! So I’ll discuss that for hours.

There is no evidence that Snape killed people, you made it up (unless you count how he led Lily and James to their deaths, despite his efforts to prevent this). In fact, his position as a spy clearly states that he wasn’t on the battlefield slaughtering people. On the contrary, Voldemort sent him to try and have him as a spy teacher, which means that Snape couldn’t be known to kill people in the meantime. We have further evidence: Bellatrix does blame Snape for “always slithering out of action” as a spy, which point out that as a double-agent (and later as Dumbledore’s spy), he tried not to kill people. On the other hand I could say that James could have killed people. Why not? If McGonagall says “we fight to kill” and if James hate those Death Eaters so much he could have killed the people of the other side.

You said Snape probably didn’t kill anyone because he was a spy. You are wrong. Snape became a spy after Lily died. So in the First Wizarding War, he wasn’t a spy. He was a death eater on the field. Also Bellatrix Blamed Snape on HBP, which is the Second Wizarding War. I never said snape killed people in the 2.WW. I said in the the First wizarding war.

James was an auror. Of course he killed people. He killed Death Eaters. ITS NOT A BAD THING LMAOOOOOO. Every auror killed Death Eaters. Dumbledore,McGonagall,Sirius,Remus, and literally everyone who fought for the right side

The level of Fred and George’s hexing -- even though I don’t like how they burned a hold through Ron’s tongue, imprisoned Montague in a limbo, and killed an animal for fun -- doesn’t reach at all the level of bullying James and the Marauders perpetrated. In fact, Harry thinks, in OotP, that even Fred and George wouldn’t do what they did.

Ohh, you don’t like Fred and George too. To be honest , I’m just repeating myself at this point. If you don’t like Fred and george, how can I expect you to like James.

WE CALL IT PRANKS. OF COURSE I DONT SUPPORT ALL OF FRED&GEORGES ACTIONS NOR MARAUDERS’s ACTIONS. But you hate them for their pranks (yeah, I’ll say pranks because what they did to Snape was mutual. “Snape Never missed a time to hex James” THIS IS CANON. Yes, he might not have tried to curse James after that exam. BUT IT DOESNT MEAN HE NEVER DID!!! BUT YES BLAME AN AMAZING MAN WHO FOUGHT FOR THE RIGHT SIDE, FOR ONE FRICKIN MEMORY. This whole story is one sided because we only saw James bully not Snape)

He used Dark Magic as self-defense in SWM -- the Marauders chocked him, tormented him, sent him to his death, sexually assaulted him. Dark Magic could have been punished by the professors. Doesn’t excuse the Marauders for bullying. Whether. Or not. They use Dark Magic. What’s the point of repeating myself though if you don’t want to understand my points in my previous answer?

Okay don’t trying to be rude, but aren’t you a little bit dramatic here. “Chocked him, tormented him,.....” LMAOOO. Im sorry but you cant prove that they s*xualy assualted him because it was never said that they removed his underwear or not. Also dark magic SHOULDNT be considered. YES YOU HAVE TO STICK UP FOR YOURSELF BUT DARK MAGIC ISNT THE ANSWER. And if you think, using dark magic is acceptable; I don’t think I can change your mind

Also in the Werewolf Incident, it’s %100 Sirius’s fault. I will not defend him. But I’m sure he didn’t want him to die. But James risked his life for Snape. Also you said “why Snape would ask forgiveness for his bully [to Voldemort]” Because when you are a nice person, you don’t care whether you like this person or not. You don’t want anyone to die. Even if that’s your biggest enemy. Don’t I have people who I hate? yes. But I would never want their death. And so didn’t James, so he saved Snape’s life’s . But sure , ignore this too.

Snape said that what Mulciber/Avery/other Slytherins did to Mary (and we don’t know what that was) is a joke -- he uses the same excuse as the Marauders in front of Lily, who bites the bait. This allows him to point out to Lily that they are no different. I do wish not to repeat myself about how Hermione mutilated someone’s face and gets out with it, though it could have been Dark Magic as well, seeing how it can’t get off and how serious this is (doesn’t mean I hate her -- I actually like Hermione).

I don’t love Hermione, and I don’t know if it’s dark magic or not; so I don’t think I can argue about that. But however, I want to point something out. Snape said “it was a joke” to Dark Magic while Marauders used prank spells

See the difference ?

Okay so, you can’t stand James bullying and I can’t stand Snape bullying. But they were teenagers, weren’t they? Okay. I’ll hypothetically forgive Snape for what he did as a teenager and you’ll hypothetically forgive James for what he did as a teenager

All of the reasons you hate James is from his teenager hood (?). You are hating a 15 year old CHILD. Okay. Let’s skip to the adult part. Who was a death eater as an adult and who was a member of the OOTP as an adult. Every Snape fan loves Lily. And lily loves James. Do you think James gave Lily drugs and made her fall in love LMAOOOOO. In the end of the day LILY CHOOSE JAMES. Lily is no one’s property and she doesn’t belong with Snape. She’s her own person and she choose James. If James is that horrible person you keep talking about how do Lily love him? How do McGonagall and all of the teachers love him. I was trying to stay calm when I wrote 728281 essays. But I keep repeating the same thing because no one reads them and they just reply from their deliusuonal world. I was on my phone all day, and I did nothing else. Of course, no one is forcing me and I love debating. But my essays don’t change anything at all!! I feel like I wrote them for nothing and I keep repeating it.

It isn’t confirmed that if Lily’s son hadn’t been threatened then Snape wouldn’t have changed sides. You made it up. Because guess what? I can still say he would have changed sides because he was growing disgusted by Voldemort’s actions, or because he couldn’t bear knowing that Lily was undergoing too much danger. And what if he wouldn’t have changed sides? Doesn’t matter, because he did it in the end, which doesn’t make it less brave. There are a bunch of heroes who wouldn’t have lifted a finger for the right cause hadn’t their loved ones been threatened (Katniss, Eren, etc) and yet does it make them less heroic? No because you don’t only judge someone by their initial motive -- but by their actions. Snape was the reason many were saved -- including Harry, Hermione and Neville, mind you. Which would make me repeat again my earlier poin

Yes it is confirmed. This question was asked to JKR in 2007(I’m sorry I’m not sure about the year) JKR wasn’t a bad person back then, and the books/movies were JUST released. Someone asked “would snape change sides if Lily wasn’t in danger” and she answered “no. he probably wouldn’t, I don’t think so” which is another proof that, snape changed sides because of his own selfish reasons.

And you are wrong about the hero thing. If lily wasn’t in danger, snape would contiune being a death eater and kill innocent people. Of course Katniss wouldn’t volunteer if her loved ones weren’t in danger. But even if Katniss didn’t volunteer. She was a nice person. Even before she volunteered she was a hero who tried to help people. The problem I have is if lily wasn’t in danger snape would kill innocent people. If Prim wasn’t in danger would Katniss kill innocent people? no. She would’ve continued living. That’s the difference.

Also as I said before I have an amazing discussion why Snape isn’t brave. Please read that because I’m so tired of repeating myself. My problem isn’t with Snape. My problem is him being overrated and him being “the bravest man” but he actually isn’t

I’ve already proven to you that bullying is always one-sided (especially 4-on-1 bullying) and that Snape “didn’t bully James back” but was actually trying to mind his own business -- that what Sirius says is what bullies typically say to blame the victim and thus sees his words put into question.

As many Snape Fans you are making excuses and the excuse here is “Sirius’s POV is biased”.

But what if it’s not. You can’t hate someone because of the possibility of Sirius having a biased POV. It’s only a possibility.

And you know what else is a possibility. Snape’s POV might be biased too. What if he’s overreacting. It’s his own memory. We cant be sure it’s %100 true.

Yet I act and answer like it’s %100 true because we have no proof that says otherwise. Same with Sirius, you have to act like it’s canon.

Also if James didn’t change why would Lily marry him. You can’t say Lily’s mind was biased, can you? LMAOOO

Indeed he bullied Neville and Harry. Wow. Big news of the Earth. But do rest assured that Snape, if given the choice, wouldn’t have stayed a teacher. He was a spy, not a teacher. He was an adult, and what do the other adults in HP? Molly tells her children to respectfully call him “Professor Snape”, Lupin says that Snape was right in some points, McGonagall stays friends with him, the other professors seem to quite like him, Dumbledore let him be harsh/bullying. Well I mean, when McGonagall uses death threats as punishment and shames Neville, when Trelawney shoves a book in Neville’s belly in rage, when Flitwick shrieks at his students and throws Trevor at the other side of the classroom -- because if you hadn’t read it, Neville was said not to be coddled in other courses as well -- when at least half of the teachers in Hogwarts should go have a check with an organization that tells them how to behave, I’m not going to blame Snape only. Personally I would have left the school the moment I knew the professors and Dumbledore allowed extreme bullying to occur, left barely punished.

Oh poor Snape. Did he do a job he hated!!! HOW CAN YOU USE THIS AS AN EXCUSE. HE BULLIED CHILDREN. THE CHILDREN HE WAS RESPONSIBLE OF. AND HIM NOT WANTING JOB IS AN EXCUSE!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME. This is absolutely no excuse. None of us do what we want to , but you can’t take your anger or your hatred from innocent children

I explained to you the Boggart. It’s up to you to listen or no.

Of course I listened to you, but I don’t think it has explanation nor an excuse. What he did was unforgivable and unjustifiable

Snape changed and I have given you the evidence. That he didn’t act nice -- even that I would partially explain as being his play as a deep cover double agent. What would Voldemort do if he learned that he coddled Neville? And really, he mostly wanted Neville to try and once succeed at following recipes, not making the potion explode or melt the cauldron along with his feet. Did he go out of his way to track Harry and Neville down to assign them detention? Did he mock Neville for being the child of vegetative parents? Clearly you haven’t seen the worst.

Clearly I haven’t seen the worst!!! Excuse me!! He humiliated him in front of Slytherins which ended up him getting bullied. He ruined his self esteem and he wasn’t able to do anything. He already had a hard childhood and he made him feel like a piece of sh** PLEASE DONT TRY TO MAKE AN EXCUSE. SNAPE FU**ED UP NEVILLES CHILDHOOD AND HIS MENTAL HEALTH. DO YOU THINK ITS OKAY. “It IsNt ThE WoRsT” I THOUGHT THIS TOPIC WAS OFF DEBATABLE. BULLYING A CHILD YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE OF ISNT OKAY.

I mean, Snape did become a young adult and tried to cope with what he lived. Wanna know how? He came to think that emotions were weaknesses (indeed it could cost his life), that discipline was essential, that rule-breaking was intolerable, and that you must be rigorous in your work. That those who “hold their hearts on their sleeves” are foolish and weak. Ah yes, that happens when you lived the last 22 years in the very place in which you were bullied, without access to any psychological help.

To be honest I don’t know why I’m discussing this with you, if you have this moral!!! HARD DISCIPLINE WAS NECESSARY!!!! THIS ISNT HARD DISCIPLINE THIS IS BULLYING. ACCEPT IT.

Still - I understand if you don’t like Snape for his bullying attitude. What I don’t agree with, on the other hand, is how you claim that Snape’s Patronus was a sign of obsession. I wonder what that makes Tonks then, whose Patronus changed as well? Or Harry having his father’s Patronus (oof)? Besides assuming that Snape’s Patronus changed at all -- you say that true love isn’t obsession. Guess what? Patronuses represent true love. Snape wasn’t obsessed, but James showed obsessive misogynistic behavior against Lily -- I proved it twice. If you’re going to tell me that characters can’t have Patronuses of the other sex and that Patronuses of different sexes (male/female) are the true sign of love while Patronuses of the same gender equals obsession then I’m going to call you homo/queerphobic. Yeah, have you thought about what those later assumptions meant?

If you want to I can discuss why James and Lily are soulmates. Why Jily is superior and why Snily is even disgusting to think.

Snape didn’t ruin Harry’s childhood. Voldemort did. If not for Snape Harry would have had no childhood. Especially when you know that the only reason Lily was given a choice to sacrifice her life for Harry (thus giving blood protection) is because Voldemort was convinced by Snape to spare her. If Snape hadn’t asked this, Lily would have had no choice but to die, and Harry would have followed. Must I mention how Harry would have been killed at 11 if not for Snape.

Also let’s love snape; who supposedly protected Harry. “You know what Harry, your mom didn’t loved me 82929 years ago also your dad was cooler than me, so I will treat you and your friends like sh*t

He never changed nor matured. He didn’t move on from Lily but he abused Harry because of his father.

Also thank you Snape for not killing Harry at 11. If Dumbledore told his suspicions to any other teacher, they would’ve done the same. Thank you Snape for not letting Harry fall from his broom.

And indeed it’s the same thing over and over again: I have the right (and the reasons) to dislike James and love Snape, just as you have the right (and the reasons) to dislike Snape and love James.

I won’t force you to like anyone. But you can’t + shouldn’t hate James because he was a bully. Snape was a bully too. You cant love a bully but also hate a bully. You should find more reasons to hate him. But it’s really hard to find reasons to hate James Potter who sacrificed himself for the world. Of course we will only focus on what he did as a 15 year old child. But what snape did at 15 has 392929 excuses.

Thank you for discussing this with me in an humane way. I highly encourage you to read my previous posts because I mentioned everything. Literally everything. I’m repeating myself at this point

[illuminated-in-darkness]

Marauders’ Magical Marvels

Another plotless piece for my weekly writing challenge.

Setting: Magic Shop, Marauders

Prompt: “Hey! I was going to eat that!”

Tags: shenanigans, found family, magic shop, AU, apparently I love making people eat together, there’s literally no plot

 ~~~

        The bell above the door tinkled merrily as Lily slipped into the shop. She was immediately surrounded by a kaleidoscope of smells and colours, the boys clearly gone crazy with the freedom to fill the shop however they wanted. Lily wouldn’t have chosen to have any living space of hers look like this, but there was a certain comfort to the shop, a way that the intensity sometimes reflected the boys’ own dynamic. At least she had been able to convince them to stick to one or two scents, instead of assaulting customers with an open bottle of each product. The days leading up to the shop’s grand opening had been hectic to say the least – there were too many last-minute changes, as could only be expected, and the boys had insisted they needed to open with a bang. It had taken Lily the better part of an afternoon to make Remus see that ‘bang’ didn’t have to mean solar flare, and it took him another two days to talk the others down too. Eventually though, even Sirius had managed to admit Lily was right.

        And so Marauders’ Magical Marvels had finally come to be (Marlene was the one who made them see that Marauder’s Magnificent Magical Marvels was just way too much), and almost three years later the shop had settled into a rhythm and a regular customer base, always experimenting and expanding, but no longer at the frantic pace of their first year. The boys had also settled better into their roles. At first everyone was trying to do everything, which only led to confusion and a few unhappy customers. Eventually, however, they each found their point of excellence.

Peter had the mind for marketing, taking on most everything from displays and the shop’s organization, to signage, adverts, and promotions. He really did have quite the eye, Lily thought as she continued through the familiar aisles. There was something pleasing to the explosion of colours and shapes, each product unique. Not only were the sections of store more intuitive than any of them initially realized, the positioning of products complemented those around them. Now Peter could leave the menial shelving to one of the employees, but he made sure to impress upon them the importance of placing things just so.

Remus, ever the scientist and the most patient of the four, handled most of the R&D – which mostly consisted of experimenting in the back room, usually with seven or eight potential new ‘recipes’ on the go. The refrigerators were covered in notes only he fully understood, with instructions on what to leave for how long and at what temperature, or when to add how much of a new ingredient. When his wand wasn’t in his hand it was stuck behind his ear, a feat which continually left everyone mystified as to how such a large object could both stay put and stay out of Remus’ way. His less visible work was that of creating new spells, some which helped with the making and perfecting of the products, and others which were used within the products themselves; enchantments which would release upon the use or activation of the product. In the beginning he spent many a night catching only a few hours’ sleep in the room above the shop, needing to just slightly tweak a recipe in order to perfect it. Now Sirius made sure to get him home before it was too late, and Remus was confident enough in his research that he could stand to leave things for the night – or set spells that would take care of things overnight.

Sirius found that numbers came surprisingly easily to him, and his memory helped with the organization of orders, shipments, and bills. His charm and wit, which got him in trouble on more than one occasion, were helpful behind the scenes with partners as well as in front of customers and press. Sirius was the one who managed to keep the shop afloat, especially in the first year and a half of investment in the shop knowing when to spend in order to make revenue. It was less often now, but he still worked the floor when he could, happy to explain the ins and outs of the newest stock and help customers find exactly the thing they didn’t know they needed. If Remus was prone to constantly tinkering with products, Sirius could get lost in numbers, spreadsheets, and forms that none of the others understood. Occasionally it would be Remus leading Sirius home at a reasonable hour, or James bringing whichever meal he was sure Sirius had forgotten to eat.

James was the artist. If Peter had the vision for what products needed, James was the one who brought it to life. Ideas and keywords that made no real sense together came to life through his imagination and craft. Bottles and containers that were not only beautiful and eye-catching, but also practical, conducive to the type of product and the method of use. Then there were the labels, the size and font and placement, the symbols and images to complete the package. Peter knew what would sell, and James found the way to take the principles and turn them into something entirely unique. Sometimes he started his work digitally, but most often he could be found hunched over his sketches, hair constantly messy from his hands running through it. Every now and then one of the boys would have to remind him to stand up and stretch his back, his neck. He also joined Sirius in press for Marauders’ Magical Marvels, his evident passion easily spreading to those he reached. If Sirius had all the information and wit to let customers know why MMM products were the best, James could make customers feel something personal about them. Together they took on most of the external communications that Remus and Peter preferred not to engage in, although the four of them always appeared together for big moments and celebrations.

Lily was so proud of the boys and what they’d achieved, how hard they worked to get to where they were. She was thrilled to write about the shop and its successes when she could – happy she was in a position at The Journal where she could actually get word out about MMM. She came by most night after work, helping out where she could before heading home with James. It wasn’t until about two years in that she realized this place had become something of a second home to her, familiar though ever-changing. It was definitely the boys’ happy place, and there had been many long nights and early weekends spent at Marauders’ Magic Marvels. 

Lily made for the back room of the shop, where she imagined all four of them were hanging out now that the shop had closed. She pushed open the door to see Remus snatching something out of James’ hand and crumbling the substance onto the tray in front of him.

“Hey! I was going to eat that!” James protested, hand still outstretched.

Remus looked up at him from under his eyebrows.

“Yeah, and it would have tasted like chocolate for about two second before it made you violently ill, genius.” His eyes flicked to the doorway. “Hi, Lily.”

“Hi Remus,” Lily smiled. “Hey boys,” she addressed the others, Sirius scribbling away with his legs dangling off the counter, Peter’s head in a book.

“Lily!” James’ face split into a grin when he saw her, and Lily didn’t try to smother the warm feeling that bloomed in her chest at the sight.

Chocolate-like non-snack forgotten, James made his way over to Lily and pressed a kiss to her lips.

“How was your day?” James asked when they pulled away.

“Long, but good,” Lily admitted. “I think I’m hungrier than I realized.’

Right on cue, Sirius’ stomach let out a loud grumble. When he continued to scribble, Remus smacked his arm to get his attention.

“Lily. Dinner,” he said when Sirius looked up, gesturing toward the door with his head.

Sirius seemed to come back to Earth and notice his surroundings.

“Lily! Dinner!” He exclaimed, jumping off the counter and stuffing the paper and pen in his back pocket. “Of course!”

Remus took the tray he was working with and slid it into the refrigerator before washing his hands and taking off his apron. Meanwhile, Lily tried to break Pete out of whatever plot he was currently engrossed in.

“Hey Pete, are you hungry?”

Peter held up a finger, eyes quickly scanning the page before setting the bookmark inside and closing the novel.

“Yep, all set.”

They headed to the pub down the road from the shop, where Dorcas, Marlene, and Benjy were waiting at their usual table.

“Hey, you made it,” Dorcas pointed out.

“We always make it,” Sirius countered. “We just prefer to be fashionably late is all.”

Further bickering on the topic was prevented by the arrival of a round of beers for the table, and they ordered their usual.

After the ‘how was work?’ pleasantries, the group settled into a familiar rhythm, Lily and Marlene discussing the latest Quidditch match, Dorcas asking James and Peter about their newest product design, and Sirius trying to convince Remus and Dorcas that they had to go check out the summer food festival over the weekend.

These weekly dinners were nothing special, just beers, burgers, and fish and chips in a pub, but Lily had lately felt just how lucky she was that this was nothing more than routine. She knew it wouldn’t last forever. Benjy was planning on taking a position in Australia at the beginning of the following year, and life and schedules would eventually have to be worked around, but they would make it work, and for now, Lily was just happy to drink and eat and take the mickey out of her friends after work. It was a good day, and the fact that it wasn’t anything special made it all the more so.

[maraudersmessrs]

Remus Lupin and the Prisoner of Azkaban--- Chapter 22: Waning Storm

Ao3 link

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17 / Chapter 18 / Chapter 19 / Chapter 20 / Chapter 21 / Chapter 22 / Chapter 23 / Chapter 24 / Chapter 25 / Chapter 26 / Chapter 27 / Chapter 28 / Chapter 29 / Chapter 30 / Chapter 31 / Chapter 32 / Chapter 33 / Chapter 34

(Disclaimer: all of the dialogue in the second half is directly from the book)

“Alright.” She straightened and turned a desk chair about, gesturing to it. He made his way over, slowly, and sat while she gave him a quick once over, then she sat on a bed across from him. “What brings you in today, Remus?”

“Lily.” He answered truthfully. It was supposed to come out wry, but he feared his tone was merely dull.

Poppy froze a moment and he could see her looking at him, hard, searching her memory. Then, she relaxed. “Ah. I see.”

Rising, she wove around him and he watched as she bustled around the room, collecting things from shelves, the windowsill in her office. “I believe Miss Evans would be thrilled that she’s compelling you to take care of yourself from beyond the grave. Here,” she dropped a hunk of chocolate the size of a bludger in his hand in passing. “Gnaw on that. I’m not surprised this is happening now, to be honest. There can sometimes be side effects from the Wolfsbane potion that we are not fully aware of, as it’s so new. And I know that this close to the moon tends to catch you in a low mood anyhow.” She put the back of her hand to his forehead. “Is there anything else that might be contributing?”

Remus watched the chocolate as he slowly passed it from hand to hand to keep it from melting. “Sunday was Halloween. With Sirius and…” he trailed off.

“Heavens, it was, wasn’t it?” A look of reluctant enlightenment crossed her face before she shook herself and slowly moved her wand tip around his head, checking her watch. “Well...I’m glad that you’re coming in for help. Eat,” she added, warningly. “It’ll help.”

He almost protested that he hadn’t even been near the Dementors when the memory of Neville doing the same thing in his office surfaced accusatorily and, guiltily, he started in on it.

He left the Hospital Wing an hour later full of chocolate, empty of words, and with a strict order to rest the day of the full moon. Poppy seemed to think that something like a perfect storm had happened with certain side effects of the Wolfsbane potion, the impending Change, the happenings of Halloween, and his own depression. She had packed him off a Cheering Elixir, that he had been convinced to take once she had invoked the reminder of his status--Professor. “And what would you tell one of your students to do, hm?” Yes. He needed to be able to function.

Over the course of the rest of the day, the edge of the nothing pit softened into a slightly more manageable melancholy. The storming rose to a pitch, rattling the windows with the wind and crashes of thunder. The day of the full moon was rough, painful, and nauseating but it always was. He pushed through. The Change was literally bone breaking and soul wrenching, but…it always was. There was nothing else to do but press on. He dutifully took his small armada of potions Madame Pomfrey had assigned him over the course of the year.

Waking up became incrementally easier over the next few days and the presence of other people gradually became more welcome. The storms had cleared after the day of the Change and pale sunlight was seeping in the windows, heralding the cold turnover from autumn to winter. He had been invited to tea with Hagrid again--who assured him that it was tea, this time--and he was slightly pleased with himself that he accepted. Once again, Hagrid managed to make him smile a bit, and fed him some home baking, which proved to be...a task to ingest. But he managed. Mostly. A pity Fang was so afraid of him, he would have bribed him under the table with the food to help him finish it.

He attended the mandatory staff meeting where Dumbledore briefed all who were not present at the Quidditch match that had gone horribly wrong; Dementor invasion, Harry falling off his broom from the sky, his broomstick smashed against the Whomping Willow. How can this boy hope to gain an education when he’s being assaulted constantly? The other Professor’s expressed their concern, confusion and outrage at their strange behavior. Apparently, the Dementors had been itching to come closer to the castle, having been relegated to the entrances and very outskirts of the grounds, far from any sort of joy or human emotion. They were growing impatient. They were growing hungry. The cold, expressionless fury that sat like a chill mirror behind Dumbledore’s normally warm eyes as he relayed the tale shook Remus. He knew that Dumbledore was a great wizard, more powerful even than Voldemort but rarely was he ever reminded quite so blatantly; there was a force to his anger that was undeniable. He almost felt sorry for the Dementors. But not quite.

It tightened his chest to know that the Dementors’ affects overwhelmed Harry so totally. Voldemort, Sirius, the Dementors; he was under attack so consistently that it was a wonder that the boy had any courage or trust at all. But he had seen him laughing with his friends, showing keen attention in classes, resisting digs from bullies. Speaking of….Dumbledore had informed him that Snape had covered his missed day and he had had to contain his grimace at what that would mean for his...opinionated Gryffindor class. He hoped that Neville had fared alright. He hoped that Harry hadn’t had too hard of a time. Longing to support and help the boy was an ache that felt deeper than his bones; he felt it as keenly as he felt the chill after the Change, as he always did. But fear, doubt, and the knowledge that he was not worthy as a guardian to this boy kept him back, at arms length. What could Remus offer him that he did not have in Hogwarts and Dumbledore? He was a stranger, a man who held a fragment of his past that had been...absent. What claim did he have to any hope for the boy’s trust?

Stoutly, he stifled the impending backwards slide into despair and stoked a fire in his office. He returned to his rooms to let the heat collect while he searched for layers to don while he waited for his afternoon class. As he was digging through his clothes, his fingers hooked into something soft and he hesitated, then carefully drew it out. It was a long, faun-colored scarf, slightly pilled and worn, but still thick. Peter had given it to him, long ago, after he had noticed Remus’ tendency to bundle up after the full moon. His round face had flushed a bit as he admitted that he had knit it himself, that his mum had taught him. Remus ran his thumb over it, staring down sightlessly. Peter.

He always seemed to be slightly eclipsed in Remus’ memory; eager, short, quietly kind, but always elbowed back by the powerful personalities of James and Sirius. It had been him that had pushed for them to include Peter more, when he had seen the boy lurking wistfully at the fringes of their group. He knew what it was to be alone. To be outside. He never wanted that for anyone else. Poor Peter. Even his death was slightly over-shadowed by the sudden, shocking tragedy of Lily and James’s murder the previous day. An afterthought. But he of all people had been the one to find Sirius, to confront him, had shown his true courage at last and had been horribly slaughtered for it. Blasted apart with a street full of innocent people. The memory of Peter was always shaded with regret; I should have done more. More time should have been spent with him, spent on his memory, his sacrifice.

You have this opportunity to do something, now, something in him warned. Do not waste it.

No one should be alone. He would talk to Harry.

A few hours later, he reluctantly stopped soaking in the warmth of his fire and set himself up at his desk in the classroom. Happily, something in him seemed to have woken up and shaken off even more of the cloying weight of the previous week, for his smile as the first few students poked their heads in was genuine. Every entrance to the classroom seemed to be preceded by a strange, furtive peeking around the door frame and it took him a while to realize that they might have been expecting Professor Snape again. He then made sure to stay in full view of the doorway, after that. When it seemed everyone had taken their seats, he cast a smile around at them and it was like a bomb detonated, for everyone started to clamor and complain all at once. Through the storm of noise he gathered that Severus had been, well, Severus, and that he had skipped forward to lessons on werewolves.

At that, a cold wash went through him and he felt the smile drop from his face. With a great deal of control, he wrestled the sudden, overwhelming panic that was trying to run rampant through him. He saw only indignance, anger, and relief in the faces across from him. No suspicion, no disgust, no distrust. No one knew. No one guessed. As he was sure was Snape’s plan. I cannot believe…2 rolls of parchment on how to best kill me. And you intended me to have to read them all...give them feedback on their technique…. James and Lily’s son….Frank and Alice….

He shook himself. Pain was nothing if not familiar. With difficulty, he schooled his face into what resembled vague bemusement. “Did you tell Professor Snape we haven’t covered them yet?”

The wave of noise that followed told him what he already knew. Yes, they had, yes he had known, yes, he had done it completely on purpose. Well. Unlike some people, Remus knew how to be a goddamn professional. He smiled around at them. “Don’t worry. I’ll speak to Professor Snape. You don’t have to do the essay.”

He doubted he would, actually. What Severus would want most, besides a student revolt calling for his blood, was to know that he had shaken Remus. And that, he would not give him, not for anything. Best to let him think that he had stoically graded their murder scenarios and handed them back with praise. It was a knowledge that they needed, no doubt, but he needed to steel himself before going over the topic. He would not let that be taken away; he would do this in his own time. As the class progressed, the dread that had taken dark root in him gradually faded and he fell back into the rhythm of teaching. The students were eager and bright, the topic and specimen hinkypunk interesting. He was teaching, he was helping, he was needed.

When the class was over, he almost let Harry slip out, almost shied away from his decision to offer his support, but instead, called out, “Wait a moment, Harry, I’d like a word.”

Dutifully, Harry returned and watched as he began to pack up his things. “I heard about the match, and I’m sorry about your broomstick. Is there any chance of fixing it?”

“No,” Harry said, mournfully. “The tree smashed it to bits.”

Ah, that tree. Yet another way I’ve made life here just that much more unsafe…. Sighing, he said, “They planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts. People used to play a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. In the end, a boy called Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye, and we were forbidden to go near it. No broomstick would have a chance.”

There was a silence from Harry, then he seemed to force himself to say, “Did you hear about the dementors too?”

Lupin turned to him to see the bewilderment, frustration, and shame warring on the boys face. Oh, Harry. “Yes, I did. I don’t think any of us have seen Professor Dumbledore that angry. THey have been growing restless for some time...furious at his refusal to let them inside the grounds….I suppose they were the reason you fell?”

“Yes.” He seemed to second guess himself a moment, then he blurted in frustration. “Why? Why do they affect me like that? Am I just--?”

Remus could see the despair and doubt creeping onto his young face and all at once he was unshakeable in his decision to reach out to the boy. Alone, he was blaming himself, doubting his strength. Not knowing the truth of what it meant. Unthinkable. “It has nothing to do with weakness,” he broke in, firmly. “The Dementors affect you worse than the others because there are horrors in your past that the others don’t have.”

He could see the boy struggling with this, staring at him with a mixture of disbelief and humiliation. The watery sunlight from the high windows fell across his face, shining on his glasses, his green eyes, the scar on his forehead. He needed to know his worth. He needed to know his strength. “Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can’t see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soulless and evil.” The torn scraps of the Fat Lady’s portrait flashed across his mind, the blazing eyes staring at him from the Prophet. “You’ll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.” More memories attempted to blossom but he redirected his mind, looked at Harry. His parents dead, strangers trying to end his young life, betrayal at every turn. Danger where he should be safe. “And the worst that happened to you, Harry, is enough to make anyone fall off their broom. You have nothing to feel ashamed of.”

Harry’s eyes were fastened on the desk next to them. “When they get near me--” He swallowed, and continued, with difficulty, “I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum.”

Pain clenched in his gut out of nowhere, a pain laden with guilt. Not his mother, Harry’s. But...Lily….His hand had came up automatically to...do something. To reach out, to grasp his shoulder, his hand, to comfort but he forced it down. Teacher. You are not to him what he is to you. He rooted through his mind, his heart for what to say to the boy but what does someone say? What does someone say to a boy who can hear his mother dying for him? Oh, Lily. Harry. You deserved so much better. So much more.

Abruptly, Harry’s face twisted, resentful. “Why did they have to come to the match?”

Remus continued packing up to keep his fists from clenching. “They’re getting hungry. Dumbledore won’t let them into the school, so their supply of human prey has dried up….I don’t think they could resist the large crowd around the Quidditch field. All that excitement...emotions running high...it was their idea of a feast.”

“Azkaban must be terrible.”

I have often hoped so. On dark nights. “The fortress is set on a tiny island, way out to sea, but they don’t need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they’re all trapped inside their own heads, incapable of a single cheerful thought. Most of them go mad within weeks.”

Harry studied him, obviously thinking. “But Sirius Black escaped from them. He got away.”

The surge of emotion that welled up in him at the name took him completely by surprise and he had to hasten to catch his suitcase that slid from his grip. The damping weight of numbness that had surrounded him the past week seemed to have altogether weakened his immunity to it. It felt raw. “Yes,” he stood again. “Black must have found a way to fight them. I wouldn’t have believed it possible….Dementors are supposed to drain a wizard of his powers if he is left with them too long….” And yet….

“You made that Dementor on the train back off,” Harry’s sudden voice spun him onto a completely different track and he had to recalibrate a moment.

“There are--certain defenses one can use. But there wa only one Dementor on the train. The more there are, the more difficult it becomes to resist.” And I barely did a passable job at resisting the one….

“What defenses?” Harry sounded eager. “Can you teach me?”

Anything. I would try to give you anything but… “I don’t pretend to be an expert at fighting Dementors, Harry...quite the contrary….”

But he was nothing if not persistent, like his mother. He was nothing if not endearing, like his father. He was nothing if not completely worthy of being able to defend himself against the horrors of this world. Defense Against the Dark Arts--and all other manner of all too human error and hate. Remus agreed. The beginning of next term, of next year. He would finally be able to be of use to Harry.

[jbankai89]

The Stag and the Snake, Part I, Chapter Four - Boys Will Be Boys

My good friend and braintwin @kuriquinn suggested I try posting my actual fics on Tumblr, rather than just linking them, so I'm giving it a try. For those of you following my work on AO3 or AFF, these will be reposts until I'm caught up and everything is posted. :)

Title: The Stag and the Snake

Author: JBankai89

Status: Complete, Part 1: 12/12 Part 2: 22/22

Rating: Part 1: PG-13, Part 2: NC-17

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin

Achievements: None

Warnings: Violence and Gore, Violent Sexual Assault, Minor Character Death

Summary: Vernon Dursley is enraged with the prospect of raising a boy he never wanted. Petunia recalls something that might help them get the child out of their hair more quickly. Overcoming their recalcitrance for anything magical, they invoke The Rite of Betrothal. Who will Harry be forced to marry, and will he be able to cope with all the demands it will entail?

Word Count: Part 1: 46 772 Part 2: 85 442

Other Links: AO3, AFF, LJ

Notes: Please note that this fic also contains Evil!Snape, which is a trope I hate, because Sev is my favourite character, but for the purposes of this story, he worked best.

This fic is based on the story of The Swan Princess, which I will be following the canon of in conjunction with the HP canon. Canon divergences include Voldemort is definitely dead, Lucius Malfoy is a bit OOC, and Sirius did not go to Azkaban. Because most of the story takes place before and after Hogwarts, a lot of the Hogwarts years are glossed over. I tried to keep the links and stuff organized how they did it on the old LJ group MyChemicalSlash, so I hope this is clean enough for you guys to follow easily.

Previous Chapter

Fic Masterpost

Chapter 4 – Boys Will Be Boys

Sirius had not known what to expect when he met his godson, but as he bid the boy goodnight that evening, he felt a tendril of anguish encase his heart.

The emotional abuse he had no doubt endured at the hands of his blood relatives had been apparent in his every movement, gesture, and word. He was strangely articulate for such a young child, and Sirius did not fail to notice how he would curl up, or fold his knees under him when their conversations grew tense, as though he was trying to make himself as physically small as possible. Every time that it happened, it gave Sirius a strong urge to break something.

But at the same time, he was overwhelmed with something akin to joy. He was such a little boy with such strength that he probably didn't know that he had. Little Harry had spent four years with people who made no secret of their dislike for him. They had hurt him, they had ostracized him, and they had utterly neglected him. Harry could have grown up bitter and distrustful, but instead he was a shy but polite little boy, and eager to accept attentions from anyone who offered it to him. Knowing a little about how the world worked, Sirius was well-aware that that could be a blessing as well as a curse.

After they sent Harry to bed that evening, Sirius had all but collapsed into the plush cushions of the sofa. He massaged his temples while he tried to work out his tangle of thoughts. He looked up when he felt a glass being pressed into his hand, and opened his eyes to see a small measure of Ogden's Old Firewhisky in a fingermarked glass. Remus sat down next to him, but didn't speak. The look on his face told Sirius that he, too, had not been ignorant to Harry's physical and emotional reactions over the course of the day.

The slow burn of the alcohol was a welcome distraction while he watched the crackling and jumping flames in the hearth.

“I'm not sure I can do this Remus,” Sirius said at last, “that boy is so...” he trailed off. Sirius kept his voice low to make sure Harry didn't overhear him, though he had no idea how to finish the thought.

“Damaged,” Remus finished for him. His voice was tense with anger, his gaze never leaving the fire. “It will be some time before Harry feels comfortable here. Until then, we should be cautious about how we speak around him. It's clear that he was not treated kindly by those...people. To not even tell him that he's a wizard—” Remus cut himself off with something close to a growl, and gave his head a small shake.

“And we're expected to hand him back to them? I don't know if I can do that,” Sirius said. Remus smiled bitterly to his words, but didn't answer.

The pair sat in silence, and the firewhisky did help release some of Sirius's tension. Despite his concern over Harry's welfare over the past four years, he had never been a parent, and now he was expected to take a five-year-old boy with all the hallmarks of neglect and abuse and somehow help him see that the world was not such a dark, scary place. Sirius had no idea if he was strong enough to do that. Nor did he wholly believe that sentiment. The world wasn't a safe place. This he knew unequivocally.

“There's little we can do about his relatives,” Remus said after a pause, his hand extending to Sirius's, and they laced their fingers together. “I worry that any intervention on our part might make things worse for Harry, not better.” He punctuated his words with another sip from his glass, his eyes never leaving the fireplace, “but we can make things good for him here. He'll know that whatever happens—” Remus broke off abruptly, and turned his head. Though it had been relatively quiet since they had settled down, suddenly there was a soft noise permeating the stillness of the evening.

“Do you hear that?” Sirius asked, shifting his gaze towards its source, the hallway to the bedrooms. His eyebrows knitted together as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing. It sounded like a hissing, a whisper so faint the words blurred together into a singular sound.

“Sounds like Harry's talking to someone,” Remus said. They exchanged a worried look, stood in one fluid motion, and tiptoed towards Harry's room. The door had not been fully closed, and the pair leant forward to peer inside.

Harry was in bed, on his stomach, and propped up slightly on his elbows. His legs were bent at the knee, and they swung back and forth minutely in midair. He was reading  aloud from a  picture book, in a tone barely above a whisper.

“Once upon a time there was a little old woman and a little old man who lived together in a little old house. They were lonely. So the little old lady decided to make a man out of stinky cheese...” the pair watched in quiet wonder as Harry read out the entire story to himself, pausing occasionally to quiver in silent laughter. When he finished, he closed up the book and smoothed his hand across the cover in a motion that Sirius could only describe as a loving caress. They continued to watch as Harry slipped the book back into his rucksack and tucked it under the bed.

“Goodnight Harry,” he whispered to himself, and he turned down the lamp. Harry rolled over, and pulled up the covers to his chin.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a mournful look, and walked quietly back to the sitting room. Remus's eyes were a little glassy, and Sirius felt as though his throat had sealed itself. They sat down on the sofa, and Sirius reached out to clasp one of Remus's hands, desperate for some form of comfort.

“I don't know about you,” Sirius said after a brief moment of silence, while Remus traced lazy circles on his bonded's palm, “but that looked to me like Harry was reading himself a bedtime story.”

“That was highly advanced reading for someone his age,” Remus said, his voice cracking slightly. “I have a feeling his...relatives felt all too happy to exclude him from that particular bedtime ritual.” Sirius raked his free hand through his hair.

“I'm starting to wonder if he has any happy memories from that house...” Sirius muttered, “I don't know if I can do this...” He followed the repeated words by leaning back against the cushions, and stared up at the blank ceiling. It was almost impossible to reign in the burning desire to Apparate to Surrey and do some real damage to those muggles.

“You have to, Sirius,” Remus said softly, but firmly while he squeezed Sirius's hand reassuringly. “Harry has a very uncertain future ahead of him, and we need to show him that he's wanted and loved.”

“He is wanted and loved, Remus.”

“Harry doesn't know that. He has grown up being regarded as a burden. We need to show him that we mean what we say when we tell him that we genuinely want him here.” Sirius turned his head to gaze at Remus. The man carried his familiar look of peaceful calm, as well as absolute belief in his words.

“I just hope he'll still trust us after The First Meeting.”

~*~

Watching Harry over the following weeks had been like watching a flower open.

At first, he and Remus were extremely cautious to keep their emotions in check around Harry. They took him to muggle parks and shops—steering clear of Wizarding establishments where they could—they were well aware that sudden attention from a bunch of strangers would completely overwhelm him, not to mention that on Dumbledore's orders, they hadn't told him about his encounter with Voldemort some four years previously.

During these outings, they did not fail to notice how Harry would flinch if another child came running at him on the playground, or how a sudden loud noise would make him jump.

The reactions were so small they were hardly noticeable unless you were looking for them. Sirius was genuinely disturbed by the boy's defence mechanisms for coping with his emotional triggers—there were almost none. The boy had absolutely no way to reassure himself when something happened, and often it seemed as though he would shut down until the upsetting moment had passed. Disassociation, Remus had called it.

It hurt Sirius deeply that a child so young had been exposed to Merlin knows what at the hands of those muggles, causing him to become so fragile. No matter how bothered he was by this, he was careful to keep his face relaxed and open when he was with Harry. In the evenings, he and Remus would let the masks fall, and they discussed whether it was worth sending an owl to Albus regarding what they had seen.

So far, they hadn't.

Every evening, Sirius could hear Harry reading to himself from the same book. It was the same stories over and over, though never loudly enough to disturb anyone. He wanted to confront Harry in some way about it, but he had no idea how to say it without it sounding like he had been spying on the boy. He never vocalized this worry to Remus, but it was apparent that he, too, had not failed to notice Harry's bedtime routine.

Remus left Sirius alone with Harry in the second week, but Sirius was uncertain how to break to the boy Remus's furry little problem. Of course, Harry still thought very much like a muggle, so there was every chance that he wouldn't believe him.

Instead, he stretched the truth somewhat, and had told Harry that Remus had gone to visit family, which wasn't a lie, exactly. Harry accepted this excuse without any questions, though when Remus returned a few days later, his robes ragged and looking as though he hadn't slept since his departure Harry eyed him curiously, but never actually asked either of them about it.

By the beginning of the fourth week, Sirius watched an extraordinary change come over Harry. His smiles came more easily, his laughter did not sound muted, and slowly he relaxed around the pair. Harry's trust that he and Remus would not harm or demean him in any way had started to be a reality for him, and he began to willingly ask for second and third helpings at meals without he or Remus prompting him, he ran and played with muggle children, and Sirius watched him giggle with delight in the evenings as Remus charmed the fire to take different shapes and colours, from flaming dogs that scampered around him to bright blue birds made entirely of fire.

Despite the drastic change in his godson's behaviour, Sirius struggled to keep his worries in check. True to Albus's desire that Harry be shielded from the Wizarding World at large, they kept what they told him to a bare minimum. Hundreds of worst-case scenarios of the celebration, so to speak, with the Malfoys chased each other around in his head. Despite Remus's reassurances, Sirius had a hard time believing that everything would be all right.

The night before the dreaded day, Sirius exchanged a significant look with Remus as they sat down with Harry at the table for dinner.

“Harry,” Sirius said, his voice coming out a little more hoarsely than he intended. The boy's head snapped up from his food, and he looked at his godfather curiously. “Tomorrow is the—er, meeting with Draco Malfoy. You're going to have to wear wizard robes for the occasion, we'd rather not give Lucius—Mr Malfoy, more reason to kick up a fuss about this.”

Harry glowered at his plate and prodded at the chunks of potato in his stew.

“I don't like them,” Harry replied sullenly, “I feel like I'm in a dress.”

Sirius saw Remus out of the corner of his eye stifle an amused smile. This wasn't the first time they had tried to get Harry to wear his wizard's robes, but his muggle upbringing got in the way of realizing that there was nothing inherently feminine about the garments in his wardrobe.

“You can wear your jeans under them, and every one else will be wearing robes as well, it won't be just you.” In an effort to get Harry used to the concept of normal wizardwear, Sirius and Remus had foregone their muggle-style clothes and wore only robes at home, or whenever they were with Harry. It did help slightly, but they didn't fail to notice that when Harry put them on he looked distinctly uncomfortable.

“It's only for a couple of hours, Harry,” Remus said gently. Sirius relaxed a little as he watched the little boy nod, though the dark look never completely faded from his eyes.

The following day, Sirius and Remus donned their best robes and went to rouse Harry. Though he wasn't normally one to complain, it did take an inordinate amount of coaxing to get him to put on the dark green dress robes.  He sulked through breakfast, while he and Remus resisted the urge to get him to talk with them. It was best, Sirius thought, to keep the boy from getting even crankier.

At 11 o'clock, the trio took a Portkey to a small cluster of trees on the edge of a forest. With Harry between them shuffling his feet a little, his apparent nervousness making him even more quiet than usual, they led him up the street towards the Malfoy Manor. Sirius and Remus glanced at each other more than once, but Remus's reassuring looks did little to calm Sirius's frazzled nerves.

When they turned up the street and the first glimpse of the manor came into view, Sirius heard Harry gasp. He looked down, his mouth twitching in the corners with amusement to see that Harry's eyes were wide and round behind his recently mended glasses, and his mouth had dropped open in shock. He looked up to Remus, then to Sirius, clearly unable to believe his eyes.

“They live there?” Harry asked, his tone almost breathless as he tried to work through his shock.

Remus chuckled a little, but Sirius wasn't entirely sure how to answer him. He had a feeling, 'Yes they do Harry, but they're still evil gits,' probably wasn't a good idea. Harry's pace slowed slightly as they approached the gates, and he stumbled a little over the hem of his robes as he was gently nudged up the cobbled path.

The manor had changed very little since the last time Sirius had seen it. The flutterby bushes that had bordered the walkway had been replaced by skullcap, St. John's wort, and hyssop. Sirius also noted the ostentatious animals he remembered were nowhere to be seen. Aside from that, it was the same tall, imposing estate it had always been. When they had almost reached the door, it swung open to reveal Lucius waiting for them, and immediately Sirius felt a little hand grip tightly to his own, and he squeezed Harry's hand back in an attempt to reassure him.

Lucius hadn't changed. His long platinum hair had been tied at the nape of his neck with black cord, and he wore long sweeping robes of black with silver piping. He regarded them with a look of deep disgust that he did not bother even attempting to conceal. Sirius noted the way Lucius's cold grey eyes shifted immediately to Harry, and he did not miss the minute flick of his eyes as it raked the boy's hairline, staring intently at the lightning bolt-shaped scar. Under Lucius's cold gaze, Sirius couldn't help but notice Harry's knee-jerk reaction of scuffling back half a step.

“Mr Potter,” Lucius said in a tone that balanced precariously between cool politeness and disdain, “welcome to our home. Please, come in.” The man's eye twitched as though the words had inflicted him physical pain, and he turned and swept inside while Sirius and Remus led a reluctant Harry in behind him.

Sirius watched Harry out of the corner of his eye as they walked, his head whipping back and forth in a flurry of untidy black hair as he tried to look at everything all at once. His mouth was still gaping slightly in shock as he tried to absorb what he was seeing.

“Come along,” Lucius said in the same tone, “we will be celebrating, as it were, in the garden.” Sirius felt Harry's hand tighten in his own again, and he did not need to look down to see the boy's fear. He all but felt it.

Lucius led the trio through the manor, weaving through halls and rooms, until he reached a large door that looked out onto the back garden. There was a large, curved patio of concrete and marble, with white tables piled high with elegant dishes, most of which Sirius couldn't name, much less pronounce. A handful of wizards and witches milled around, flutes of champagne or glasses of wine in their hands, with waiters Apparating through the crowd, offering hors d'oeuvres and other small tidbits to the guests. Beyond the patio were long, sweeping lawns of green grass, bordered at the edge by a dense forest.

Despite Sirius's insistence that the number of wizards present remain small, he worried. The First Meeting was supposed to be a public celebration, and given the Malfoys' considerable influence at the Ministry, it could have been much worse. Sirius let go of Harry's hand with some difficulty, it was like a tiny vice grip, and he knelt next to him while Lucius slipped outside without so much as a backward glance.

“Harry,” Sirius prompted, drawing the little boy out of his daze, “do you remember what we talked about earlier this week?”

He nodded stiffly. “I wait here,” he said, though his voice quivered a little, “and when I hear my name, I come out, and go to Draco. We greet each other, then bow to the guests.”

His words left out some of the finer details, but was in essence, correct. Sirius smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way, and squeezed his shoulder.

“You'll do fine, don't worry. I'll see you in a moment.” Sirius stood up and walked outside with Remus, forcing himself to keep from looking back—he didn't want Harry to know that he was likely as nervous about this as he was.

The couple strode out hand in hand to stand next to the Malfoys, while Lucius set off a few gaudy silver and gold fireworks from his wand to call attention to the crowd.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” he began, his gaze shifting from person to person, wearing a small smile as though he had no greater delight than addressing these people. “It is my great honour to welcome you to The First Meeting of our sons.” Scattered polite applause followed these words, “we do hope that you will join us in wishing blessings upon their bright future together on this beautiful Mabon afternoon. Now please join me in welcoming my son, Draco Malfoy, and the godson to Sirius Black, Harry Potter.”

Sirius tensed a little as he heard a few soft gasps and fervid whispers follow those words. No doubt this would get back to the Prophet before long. He struggled to keep it from distracting him as two doors at either end of the patio opened the moment Lucius had said their names, to reveal the boys.

Sirius felt it was like watching the sun and the moon greet each other. Harry in dark colours, and Draco in some sort of silvery-white robe that seemed to glimmer when the light caught it. Both boys eyed each other nervously, but strode across the patio towards each other with purpose. The moment they reached each other, Harry and Draco lifted their right hands and placed their palms flat over their hearts, and bowed low. The audience watched in rapt silence as the boys let their arms fall, and Draco stepped forward, took Harry's hand and kissed the back of it, Harry mirroring his actions immediately after. They then joined hands and bowed to the assembled guests, then walked down from the patio to polite applause.

The pair stopped before their parents, and Lucius smiled politely, “welcome, Harry.” He bowed to him, and Narcissa followed suit.

“Welcome, Draco,” Sirius said, mimicking Lucius's feigned politeness as he bowed, and Remus did the same next to him. There was more scattered applause, then the crowd slowly dispersed and the soft babble of conversation returned. Harry was still glancing around with wide-eyed wonder, while Draco was staring at the ground and kicking up grass with the tip of his shoe. The boys had let go of each other's hands, but were still standing in front of the adults as though they had no idea what was supposed to happen next.

“Come along,” Lucius said suddenly, resting a hand on Draco's shoulder, “we'll get you two something to eat and you can get acquainted.” He steered him towards the table, bowing low to speak to his son, quietly enough that Sirius couldn't overhear. The younger Malfoy glowered at his father, but didn't verbally respond to whatever he was being told.

Sirius trailed behind Lucius with Harry, and struggled to keep his eyes off the guests that milled around him. Remus had hung back to speak with Narcissa, though for all his efforts, it was difficult to not notice the sorts of guests Lucius had chosen to invite.

Igor Karkaroff was standing and speaking animatedly with Ludovic Bagman next to a garish swan ice sculpture, Cornelius Fudge was accepting a glass of wine from one of the waiters, and Walden MacNair was leaning close to one of the waitresses, who looked deeply uncomfortable. Countless nameless faces that Sirius recognized as Ministry higher-ups or Death Eaters that had claimed innocence, and, of course, he spotted Rita Skeeter standing a little apart from the festivities, her acid green quill zipping across the parchment before her in a blur.

In the distance, partially hidden in the shadows, Sirius recognized Severus Snape with a surge of hatred and memory. Slimy git, Sirius thought, gritting his teeth. Below him he heard a soft pained gasp, and he realized that he was gripping Harry's shoulder so tightly that his knuckles had gone white. He let go at once, “sorry Harry,” he murmured apologetically.

Despite the brave face Harry had put on, Sirius could tell that he felt completely out of his depth. Sirius loaded the boy's plate with foods that weren't too exotic—mild cheeses, fruits, and roasted meat. He nudged him towards a small round table to sit with Draco Malfoy, alone.

He and Lucius hung back, keeping a close eye on the boys, while they accepted congratulations from various guests that approached them. Sirius took hands and forced his face into a smile, as though he was genuinely pleased by the proceedings. It was supposed to be a celebration, after all.

Finally, Sirius was able to break away from Lucius and he sought out Remus, who had retreated to the edge of the party. His eyes were focused on Harry, his expression frozen in a fixed smile. Though it was just as forced as Sirius's had been, it seemed slightly more genuine on Remus's face.

“Kill me now,” he muttered as he sidled up to his bonded, passing a glass of wine to him, which Remus accepted readily as he chuckled slightly to Sirius's words.

“Harry looks like he's having a ball,” Remus observed with dry sarcasm, and Sirius turned to look, his mouth twitching in a small smile. It appeared as though neither boy had said two words to each other. Draco punctuating his bites of food with glares at the assembled crowd, with a haughty expression of superiority upon his face. Harry's head was bent forward, and he was poking at his food, but not really eating anything. Sirius noticed with a lurch of his stomach that he had curled his feet beneath him on the chair, and he hoped that by the end of this Harry wouldn't be too overwhelmed.

Aside from watching Harry like a hawk and accepting felicitations as best he could while trying to not sound dismissive, he was watching Snape closely. The man had hardly moved, his eyes fixed upon Harry, his lip curled in blatant disgust. Sirius clenched his fist, but Remus, apparently sensing danger, reached down and gripped his wrist tightly.

“Don't make a scene,” he hissed in Sirius' ear, “this arrangement won't be kept quiet, and the last thing we need is to add fuel to the fire by you hexing Severus in front of an audience.”

It was difficult for Sirius to calm himself. It was bad enough Snape decided to show his greasy face, but the man was staring at the little boy as though he would love to hex him. Sirius felt as though there was something awfully familiar about that expression, though.

“He's staring at Harry like—like—”

“Like he's James,” Remus filled in with a small frown.

And of course, Sirius realized with a flood of noisome memory, that was it.

A/N: Storybook excerpt is from The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales by Jon Scieszka and Lane Smith. Otherwise known as the greatest storybook known to mankind. :D

Mabon, for those who may not know, is a pagan holiday, and is more commonly called the Autumnal Equinox. It is the middle harvest of three (Lughnasadh (August 1st), Mabon (September 20th or 21st) and Samhain, the Witches' New Year (October 31st)) and considered a time of bounty, of thanksgiving, and to wash out the old before the year begins anew.

Next Chapter

If you like my work, please consider throwing a few bucks in my Tip Jar! or become a patron on Patreon for my upcoming original horror novel, Keep Looking.

[halfbloodprincecharming]

1. “You don’t need to read into everything like that.” It doesn’t take “reading into” things to realize that disfiguring and humiliating a CHILD for something his FATHER said is wrong. Also, you claim that we should be okay with Hagrid’s actions because the Dursleys are portrayed as bad and Hagrid is portrayed as good and yet here you are hating on Snape even though J.K. Rowling portrays him as good. 2. I see hardly anyone hate on Lockhart even though what he did to Harry and Ron was far worse than anything Snape did to his students. I definitely have an issue with that. 3. It is literally stated that McGonagall forbid everyone to give Neville passwords. If Snape did that, you would be using it as a reason to hate him. 4. We actually never see Molly apologize to Hermione, we simply know that she became “considerably warmer” towards her. The way she treated Hermione was awful regardless, she didn’t even bother to check the validity of Rita’s words. 5. I’m not denying that what Marietta did was shitty but it didn’t justify her getting her face scarred whatsoever. 6. Snape might have grown up to be a bitter asshole because of the abuse he faced as a child but he did nothing as a child to deserve his abuse, whether by his father or by the Marauders. James also never fully matured, he continued to bully Snape behind Lily’s back and he acted so arrogantly and immaturely when he met Petunia and Vernon that Lily was reduced to tears. Writing your crush’s initials on a Snitch is comparable to writing their initials on a soccer goal or on a trophy; it is treating them as a prize to be won which is the definition of objectification. I also don’t think someone who truly loves another person would threaten to hurt that person for not wanting to date them and relentlessly bully that person’s friend and only agree to stop if the person went out with them. (P.S.: The fact that you’re excusing James’ behavior with “boys will be boys” is really disgusting. It just shows what a low opinion you have of boys because I know the boys at my school would never do anything remotely similar to what James did to Snape. I also know you would have a very different opinion of James if Snape was female, your statement that “Snape wasn’t fully innocent” sounds like victim blaming to me which I doubt you would be okay with if it was done to a woman.)

No, Snape wasn’t a completely good person. He wasn’t a completely bad person either, like you said. He was a complex, morally gray character. The bad things he did are inexcusable, just like the bad things the other characters here did. However, the good things he did are still valid, just as with all the other characters. I wouldn’t call the cruel actions of the characters here “mistakes” either. I can go into further detail about why Snape joined the Death Eaters and was mean to his students but I think I’ve said enough for now.

Severus Snape is such an awful person. I don’t understand how people can like him after everything that he’s done. Remember the time he gave an eleven-year-old child a pig’s tail because the child’s FATHER said something that made him mad? Wait. Never mind. That was Hagrid.

But he DID remove a kid’s bones from his arm and later tried to wipe two kids’ memories. How could anyone forgive THAT? Shoot, I forgot. That was Gilderoy Lockhart.

Remember the time Snape made Neville sleep in the hallway when an alleged mass murderer was on the loose INSIDE THE SCHOOL? What a fucking dick. But shit. Someone just told me that was McGonagall.

Remember when Snape treated Hermione like shit because he thought she broke Draco’s heart by showing interest in Harry? Wow, what an asshole. Yikes, I’m wrong once again. That was Molly Weasley when she thought Hermione broke Harry’s heart by showing interest in Viktor Krum.

But Snape scarred a girl’s face when she gave the Order of the Phoenix information about the Death Eaters! Can you tell me he isn’t a terrible person now? Ugh, why do I keep forgetting things? That was Hermione Granger scarring Marietta Edgecombe’s face for giving Dolores Umbridge information about Dumbledore’s Army.

Wait, I have it. The absolute worst things Snape ever did. HE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED A FELLOW STUDENT FOR FUN. FOR A LAUGH. “BECAUSE HE EXISTED.” AND WHEN HIS CRUSH INTERVENED, HE TOLD HER HE WOULD CURSE HER IF SHE DIDN’T GO OUT WITH HIM. HE ALSO TOLD HER HE WOULD LEAVE HER FRIEND ALONE IF SHE WENT OUT WITH HIM. HE EVEN COMPARED HIS CRUSH TO A SNITCH FOR HIM TO CATCH, WHAT AN OBJECTIFYING MISOGYNIST. AND HE ATTEMPTED TO MURDER THAT SAME KID TOO. Wait…wait. Are you really telling me that I’m wrong here too? Okay, you’re right. You’re right. It was James Potter who sexually assaulted the kid and treated his crush like shit and Sirius Black who attempted to murder him. And guess who that kid was? Severus Snape.

“But Snape joined the Death Eaters! He was mean to his students!” Both of these things are true. However, they do not discount all the good Snape did, especially because the bad the other characters here did doesn’t seem to discount the good they did.