#but hey. someone needed to go to the hospital i think? so like. it's impossible to plan for and really urgent

[moinsbienquekaworu]

It's 2pm, my city's pride parade starts at 2pm in a part of town that's like 20 minutes away in public transportation, my best friend said we would go together but they made other plans for this afternoon so I'm going alone, and it's raining. Do I even bother.

[astonmartinii]

Hey, I love your work. Could you please do a social Media au with Lewis Hamilton x senna! reader who is the secret daughter of Ayrton Senna and Mick's godmother and Mick introduces them? Don't feel pressured and thank you in advance.

<3

top secret | lewis hamilton social media au

pairing: senna!reader x lewis hamilton

turns out mick is the grid's biggest matchmaker

mickschumacher

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 404,331 others

mickschumacher: summer dinners (not cooked by me)

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username so is this a soft launch or ???

georgerussell63 it's a good thing you weren't cooking i've seen your skills in hospitality

mickschumacher don't worry she'd never let me blow the house up

username no tag, no name WHY ARE WE SO SECRETIVE MICK?

lewishamilton where was my invite then ?

mickschumacher you already steal her all the time let me have my moment

username WAIT THIS MAKES IT SO MUCH MORE CONFUSING

f1wagsupdates

liked by 1,045 others

f1wagsupdates: the mystery blonde is back again, this time spotted going into the mercedes hospitality. not much is known about her as she wasn't spotted for the rest of the weekend - so is she with mick or lewis or just friends with both of them?

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username so like she didn't actually stay for the race ??? i'm smelling a gold digger

username like how do we not know who she is it's practically impossible to be anonymous these days

username who can just waltz into merc hospitality like she has to be with someone, right?

username y'all can continue yelling in these comments but like she's serving in all of these like i need her wardrobe

username i mean as much as i would hate to see slag!lewis go ... i think it is time

lewishamilton added to their story

[caption: the view is something else]

yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, mickschumacher and 779,445 others

yourusername: i'm hearing shouts of gold digger, my daddy ran your sport ;)

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username SENNA HAD A KID ???

username y'all been calling senna's daughter a gold digger that's rough

username so wait how did we never know she existed ?

mickschumacher finally it's out i couldn't deal with people thinking i was dating my godmother

ginaschumacher we may have a ranch but we're not from alabama

yourusername citizens of alabama out here catching strays

lewishamilton lovely lady

yourusername knew there was a reason you were made an honorary brazilian citizen

lewishamilton

liked by mickschumacher, georgerussell63 and 1,223,761 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton: and suddenly everything made sense when i met you

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username my guy said i'm gonna break senna's records and then bag his daughter and i respect it

yourusername you made me realise the meaning of forever

lewishamilton biggest honour of my life

username okay this is so fucking cute im gonna need someone to confess their love to me asap

georgerussell63 congrats you two 🥂

mercedesamgf1 category is SLAY

username i'm being SO CHILL ABOUT THIS

f1 no biggie just two of the greatest families in f1 coming together

yourusername

liked by f1, lewishamilton and 1,304,667 others

yourusername: happy father's day pops !! i miss you so much everyday but i know you're super proud of me no matter what. see you soon xx

comments have been restricted on this post

lewishamilton

liked by yourusername, mickschumacher and 2,130,653 others

lewishamilton: happy father's day to my wonderful dad and the one who i never met but am thankful for everyday. my dad has been nothing but supportive of me my whole life and i am forever grateful to him. ayrton, though we never met i feel you everyday and i promise i will be the best husband possible for your angel of daughter

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username this is all very touching but HUSBAND

yourusername thank you so much lew, i love you so much and i know he does too (also i love your dad too)

lewishamilton can't get rid of us now

username this is honestly like a fairytale

username the fact she said in an interview that she never wanted to watch or go to another race because of what the sport took from her, but now regularly goes to support lewis 😭

mickschumacher hey don't forget about her favourite god son

username OMG THIS MAKES LEWIS MICK'S GODFATHER WTF

mickschumacher

liked by mercedesamgf1, charles_leclerc and 880,276 others

tagged: yourusername, lewishamilton

mickschumacher: adding professional matchmaker to my resume

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username so like the first born is named after him ?

mickschumacher deal

yourusername mick ???

username this is a trio i never thought i'd see coming schumachers, hamiltons and a senna in one family

yourusername all jokes aside i love you mick thank you for wingmanning me

lewishamilton thank you for finally giving me her number after asking about a billion times

note: i hope this is what you were thinking - i had so much fun writing this !! xx

[disneyprincemuke]

mrs all american * archived.

who is that guy in the andretti racing garage?

pairings: bother figures x fem!driver, 4lyfers x fem!driver

notes: lOLSIE OXOXOXOOXOOXOXO tell me if u want their smau too?? hehehehe

(series masterlist) | (📂 the sophomore year)

alex tilts his head, approaching his friends gathered right behind a crowd that’s formed in front of one of the racing hospitalities in the paddocks. “what are we doing here?”

“same sentiments,” george mutters, craning his neck to try and look over heads to see what’s all the commotion about. him and lando had been having a chat while walking in from lunch when they were greeted by a large crowd gathered and chatter filling up the air. “we’re just as curious as you.”

“but you lot were here first?” alex asks, scrunching his nose again, looking between his friends. “did andretti manage to score some big name or something for the weekend?”

“brad pitt, you reckon?” lando asks, raising his eyebrows. “nah, i don’t think so. has to be someone else.”

“maybe it’s just rocky causing terror to everyone again.”

george and lando exchange a stare and ultimately shrug with a nod. it’s not entirely impossible that it’s not the brand’s own driver who’s gathered a big crowd to watch her do something stupid.

“hey, why are there so many damn people? i just wanna take a nap before the parade.” the 3 turn around, shocked at the presence that’s announced itself behind them. the andretti racing driver stands in front of them, hands on the straps of her backpack as she looks at them curiously. they furrow their eyebrows. “what?”

“you’re not the one that’s causing all the commotion?” george tilts his head, pointing at the crowd of cameras and paparazzi behind them.

she shrugs. “i guess not. what’s going on?”

alex sighs, widening his eyes. “we have got no idea. we’re just nosey,” he takes a sip from his drink, “will you tell us when you find out later?”

she shrugs nonchalantly with a small smile. “sure. i’ll see you lads later for the parade.”

“are you hiding someone from me?” the girl, who’s just walked into the pitlane to head to the grid for the driver’s parade takes a step back with a clueless blink. “max keeps pestering me about the guest for tonight.”

she shrugs, eyebrows furrowed. “why do you just assume i always know more than you?”

liam shrugs as well, frowning. “i don’t know. there’s just so much commotion on our side of the paddocks today and i’ve got no clue as to why,” liam says with a frown.

realistically, she feels bad lying straight through her teeth to everyone. but she doesn’t need anyone messing with her when the truth happens to come out before the race starts. it’s just not something she thinks she needs.

besides, everybody will find out after the race. she will just explain herself then.

“i’ve got no idea what’s going on with our garage today,” she takes a sip from her pepsi, blinking at liam innocently. “guess we’ll find out later?”

“find what out?” oscar tilts his head as they come to a stop right by him and lando, waiting for the truck to start their lap around the track.

“why we’ve been so crowded with paps today,” liam frowns. “i’m not the centre of attention and it’s simply absurd.”

lando sighs, shaking his head. “i know. i’ve barely seen a camera pointed my way today and it’s our grand prix race. something is not right.”

she shrugs with a small grin. “someone kinda famous, i guess.”

“it’s not jacob elordi again, is it?” carlos pokes his head between lando’s and hers, furrowing his eyebrows. he turns to her, met with an unamused stare and head tilt. he shrugs. “just curious. who knows if you’re seeing him again?”

she looks around their huddle, suddenly greeted by curious stares and raised eyebrows. she throws her arms in the air and shakes her head. “i’m not seeing jacob again! i haven’t seen him since the miami race last year! please let it go!”

alex narrows his eyes down with a small smirk. “you sound like you know something about andretti’s special guest.”

“you liar!” liam screams.

“i don’t!” she turns to liam with her arms in the air. she turns to alex and scowls. “why are you stirring drama? i don’t know anything about who andretti’s decided to give their stupid pass to this weekend, okay?”

alex hums, pressing his lips together. “that’s not what logan told me.”

“why would logan know anything about andretti’s guest this weekend? i’ve barely seen him.”

he shrugs, “i really thought that would break you.”

“nice try,” oscar sighs, shaking his head. “you really don’t know anything?”

she shakes her head. “i really don’t. now can we please talk about something else?”

“i’ll see you later after the race?” a soft, familiar, higher-pitched voice says. “don’t forget to watch me, okay? remember: i’m in the andretti car. don’t watch the red bulls or the ferraris, just me. you’re here for me.”

liam presses his ear against the door as if he could somehow make out who’s speaking to whom inside the room.

you can only imagine his shock when he hears a man’s voice from the other side of the door. “suddenly i’m an andretti supporter. i don’t even like ferrari.”

he hears her laugh, followed by footsteps approaching the door. “i’ll see you later, my. love you.”

the door clicks, prompting liam to hurl himself towards the stairs leading downstairs, stumbling and sliding down a couple of steps. liam pulls himself up with the railing, trying to ignore the way he can hear the confusion as the door closes.

“what are you doing?”

liam hops up to his feet, one of his foot sliding off at the edge of the steps. he coughs to cover it up and shakes his head. “i’m just super excited to be racing in vegas.”

she tilts her head and furrows her eyebrows. “are you sure? is something wrong?”

he shakes his head. “nope. nothing.”

perhaps she will break the news to him after the race? he doesn’t think he’s ever heard her say that phrase to anyone, much less know anyone called ‘my’.

“you don’t have anything to ask me?” she bites down on her lip, trying to keep the laugh in.

truthfully, she had heard the door rattle a couple of times and assumed that liam was being nosey outside her driver’s room. she’s more surprised that her teammate is not probing her for a more defined answer other than a shrug.

“i guess,” liam shrugs dejectedly.

he just wants her to tell him instead of having to ask her outright.

“alright, mate,” she laughs, furrowing her eyebrows. “by the way, you’re coming for ice cream tonight, right? i’ve got someone i want you to meet.”

another podium finish. it’s absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she’s got a special guest in her garage watching, the car was just good.

she knows that because liam’s finished directly behind her. she would have given him the podium if sebastian hadn’t insisted that there’s jo driver swap necessary and that it would only be riskier to do so.

she climbs out of the car, eyes crinkled towards the team gathered behind the barriers for her. she tears all of her headgear off and immediately runs forward to where her team is gathered.

“amazing!” sebastian screams, arms wide open as she approaches them. “good job, kid!”

she screeches, hopping over to where they are with her fists in the air. “i know! i literally love vegas! year after year, all vegas gives me is bangers!”

she jumps into sebastian’s arms, cheering along with her team of mechanics with their arms wrapped around her as well. “yay! another podium for me! suck it, oscar!”

“oscar catching strays,” liam mutters, tapping her on the shoulder and holding his arms out to her. throwing his arms around her, he sighs exasperatedly while a smile. “i know you had someone in your room earlier.”

“i know. you rattled the door with all your moving,” she whispers back before pulling away. she drops her head slightly as a blush slowly creeps up her cheeks. “i’m seeing somebody.”

“i also know that,” liam grins, a hand still on the small of her back. “do i get to meet him?”

“obviously. do you know how difficult it’s been to keep him out of your sight all day?” she snorts, rolling her eyes. “i promise you’ll get to meet him.”

“if i didn’t know you were a good driver, i’d have thought you made it to the podium just to impress me.”

“it’s just luck, i guess.” she grins giddily leaning in as he holds both hands up, grabbing her cheeks. “thanks for coming to watch my race.”

“absolutely. thank you so much for inviting me over.”

she scrunches her nose, hands lifted slightly behind her as she leans in with puckered lips. she’s turning 22 in a couple of weeks and the fact that this is her first public relationship ever is still new to her.

truthfully, she wasn’t even planning on dating any time soon. she’s gone 5 years — almost her entire life — not finding herself with a boyfriend, what harm would it do if she went on longer without one?

but she coincidentally found herself laughing a little too hard at his jokes and now here she is, lip locked in her garage with some guy she swore annoyed her.

“ew!”

“fuck off!” she says immediately, pulling away and whirling around with red cheeks. her hair is dishevelled, stray hairs on her face and cheeks getting redder by the second. “what are you, 12?”

max raises his eyebrows with an amused smile stretching his lips. he tilts his head to the side and ignores the driver in front of him. “who’s this? i’m max,” he holds his arm out, “i can fight.”

“max!” she shrieks, pushing max’s arm away before it can be grabbed cordially. “what is wrong with you? that’s not how you introduce yourself!”

but as she’s preoccupied with max, to her horror, she’s turned back around and the other 3 have already surrounded the poor boy with furrowed eyebrows and questions spilling on their lips.

who are you, where do you live, what’s your intentions with rocky, how long have you known her? and this is exactly why she hesitated even bringing him to the race to watch her.

“hey, what are you doing? stop doing that!” she cries, running back around to try and shoo off alex, george and lando who have well invaded her boyfriend’s personal space. before she can take 3 steps away, max grabs her shoulder and yanks her back toward him to hold her in place. “you guys are embarrassing me! you’re worse than my siblings!”

“oh, you’ve met her siblings!” alex cheers for a moment before wiping the smile from his face. “so? what are they gonna do to protect you? they’re so much younger.”

“hey! those are my sisters and brother you’re talking about!”

“ah, you get what i mean,” alex waves her off, snorting softly. he returns his attention to the boy with a small amused grin. “so? you plan on answering our questions, mate? we’ll be here all night if you don’t.”

the brunette grins. “i’m milo manheim, i’m an actor. i’m,” a blush creeps up his cheek as he bites back a smile and points over at the girl still in her race suit, “she’s my girlfriend.”

“girlfriend?” lando screams incredulously, throwing his head back in disbelief. he turns to the girl and points at milo. “you found yourself a boyfriend? did you use our advice?”

she stares at them, blinking with a toothy and fearful grin. “why… would i use your shit advice?”

“hey, what are you– oh, hey! you look–” oscar cuts himself off with a loud laugh before turning to his best friend, “oh, you little sneaky shit! no wonder you’ve been keeping your mouth shut the entire evening! it’s the guy you h–“

“guys!” she throws her arms in the air. “give me a break, please! at least let me sp–”

“how long have you guys been dating?”

“dating?” oscar asks loudly, blinking rapidly. all this is new to him. she’s always been pretty secretive and private about her dating life, so it’s not a shock that everything is only unveiling now for her.

“have you made her cry yet? every tear is one punch i get to throw without you running off to the media crying about it, kid,” max says firmly, shoving her aside so that he could take a step forward towards milo.

“max! he has not–”

the younger boy grins and puffs his chest proudly. “of course not! we’ve been going out for a couple of months, around 5 or 6?”

“wow!” george cheers, turning to her in amusement. “that’s long! you kept a secret that long?”

she shrugs. “lily knew.”

“lily knew?” oscar screams, arm darting out to punch her shoulder. “why didn’t you tell me?”

“because then you’d tell logan and lando, and then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore,” she explains, throwing her arms in the air with a knowing stare. “i don’t see the problem, really. mick knew too.”

“mick found out before me?” george shouts. “unfair!”

she shrugs again. “he saw us at the hotel lobby last night.”

“why are there so many people in my garage?” sebastian walks in, tapping his phone against his palm. “hi, milo.” he looks at the crowd of excess drivers in his garage and lifts his hands in the air to continue his interrogation. “anyone plan on answering me?”

“we’re having a meeting,” lando answers, not even sparing the older man a glance. he keeps his stare on milo. “so how did you meet?”

“we met at the eras tour in the private tent!” oscar cuts in with an amused stare. he blinks. “i gotta find logan and tell him.”

“tell me what?”

she throws her arms in the air. “did you guys agree to come to my garage after my podium just to piss me off or something?” she shouts, hands balled into fists and she stomps a foot into the ground. “what is everyone doing here? why are we having a gathering?”

“i was gonna congratulate you on the podium,” logan mutters. he trails off as he meets the familiar pair of brown eyes, the only person in their makeshift circle not in a race suit, and tilts his head. “what are you doing here? don’t i know you from somewhere?”

a silence falls in the garage, the chatter from outside the only thing that anyone can hear. max and alex share a look, then glances over at george who lifts his eyebrows with a shrug.

milo blinks. “i’m–“

“rocky’s boyfriend!” lando cheers, holding milo’s shoulder and pointing excitedly at the young boy next to him. “you didn’t know?”

“nobody knew,” she grins, explaining through gritted teeth. “except seb. cause he’s the one that let this happen.”

“rat!” max screams, whirling around to sebastian. “you said you knew nothing about who andretti’s guest is!”

“i was sworn to secrecy if not i might wake up bald tomorrow!” sebastian suddenly screams in defensive. “i don’t wanna be bald! don’t you think i haven’t thought of telling anyone?”

logan grins, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “i didn’t know you guys were talking.”

logan scratches his elbow as he turns to oscar, tilting his head and pointing between her and milo as if to ask if he’d known about it. in return, oscar shrugs.

“wait,” max shakes his head. “this is actually a thing? you guys are actually boyfriend and girlfriend? like it’s official?”

her and milo share a look. she turns to max and nods. “yeah?”

“you hesitated,” george points out. “why did you hesitate?”

heads turn to one of the men in papaya, a giggle bubbling from his stomach as he points between them. “i see what’s going on — you haven’t talked about it, have you?”

“what?” she sputters, rolling her eyes. “that is absolutely none of your business.”

oscar giggles. “but we’re right, aren’t we?”

george throws his hands in the air. “guys, leave them alone. this is seriously none of our business.”

“but i wanna know!” max whines, stomping towards milo. “how did you guys meet?”

“eras tour,” milo grins widely. “then she went home and stalked me — liked my picture from like 2021.”

“no, i didn’t!” she shrieks, hands coming up to shield her flushed cheeks away from everyone in the room. she runs over to milo and starts to push him towards the doors that lead to the paddocks. “don’t tell people i did that!”

“oh, that’s so embarrassing!” oscar tugs at his hair then hunches over as he no longer can contain his laughter. “rocky, no!”

she scratches her head and darts back towards oscar. “oscar!”

“she didn’t like me very much at first,” milo points out, grinning at her.

“oh, we know,” logan grins, folding his arms over his chest. he glances at the girl cowered next to sebastian, forehead resting on her race engineer’s arm with her hands still cupped over her cheeks then looks at everybody else. “she told us how annoying you were for like 20 minutes after the concert.”

she sighs and just drops herself into squat. “yeah, whatever.”

“mate!” liam grins, pushing the door open of their hospitality home. “i’m liam! it’s so nice to finally meet you.”

he says that as if he hadn’t just found out of his existence literally 2 hours ago.

“aw, absolutely, man,” milo grins, taking the hand that offered to him. “she talks about you all the time.”

“yeah, how fucking irritating he is,” she scoffs, throwing her head back. she steps forward and breaks their hands apart from one another, quickly wrapping her hand around milo’s arm. “let’s go for drinks!”

“really? drinking in vegas?” liam snorts, raising his eyebrow at her. “shouldn’t you have learned your lesson by now?”

“what lesson?” mick hums, appearing behind them. “drinks, right? celebrate rocky’s podium or something?”

“your lesson? what did you do in vegas that’s naughty?” milo teases, furrowing his eyebrows and looking down at her. “you did something stupid, didn’t you?”

she blinks. “yeah, i almost got married in vegas this time last year.”

“married?” milo repeats with a laugh. “to whom? and what do you mean almost? it didn’t happen?”

mick sighs. “we were bested by sebastian — a lesson about drinking too much or something like that. we still engage in black out drinking though.”

the girl cheers with a soft laugh, holding a hand up and immediately receives a high-5 from the older driver.

milo laughs, wrapping an arm around her. “that’s actually kinda funny.” he looks at mick, already well acquainted from their impromptu supper in their hotel room the night before. “she is my girlfriend now though, so…”

liam scowls, looking between the 3 of them. “you guys just made it super weird.”

— bonus

“you seriously didn’t know?” oscar blinks, starting to walk away from the williams racing home alongside his friend and girlfriend, towards the exit of the paddocks to meet their friends. “you guys have been acting so weird lately.”

logan shrugs. “i bet ylona knew. they’ve been hanging out a lot lately.”

lily grins, peeking from oscar’s side to look at logan. “she does. rocky told us she was seeing somebody after they first kissed that one time in new york 2 months ago.”

“2 months ago,” logan puffs his cheeks out and shakes his head, “wow. good for her, honestly.”

“yeah,” oscar hums, “you’d think that she’d actually end up that crazy cat lady if she never finds a decent man.”

lily laughs, squeezing oscar’s arm. “we’ve hung out with him a cou–“

“you what?” oscar scowls, taking a step away from her. “what’s with all the secrecy? are you even my girlfriend anymore?”

“you say ‘we’,” logan huffs. “you’re telling me you guys reeled ylona in without either of us knowing?” lily nods. “assholes!”

taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @leilanixx @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @33-81 @darleneslane @nikfigueiredo @happy-nico @namgification @localwhoore @notawc @sadg3 @kazuha-pista-badam @mellowarcadefun @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @woozarts @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @a-disturbing-self-reflection @inejismywife @love4lando @louvrepool

[billiethepumpkin]

Best Pain I Ever Felt: Eijirou Kirishima x Reader

Warnings: Rated R. This content is intended for readers ages 18 years or older. If you are a minor, do not interact.

Contains: Fem!Reader. Descriptions of violence. Descriptions of injuries. Emotional.

Featuring: Eijirou Kirishima.

Author's Note: All characters are written to be adults because I am an old fuck :)

You saw it on the news.

Everyone had. You had probably a dozen text messages and at least three phone calls from people who loved you asking if everything was alright, if you'd had any word.

If you had, your heart wouldn't be sitting in the soles of your shoes right now. It seemed impossible. Your mind was trying to convince you that you hadn't really seen what you just saw. But you did. There was no denying that it was real. You knew by the warm tears that fell down your cheeks without any beckoning.

Red Riot had taken on a massive attack. He had been fighting some villain that you had only heard of a couple of times. You guessed he was supposed to be a small time villain, but the way he was attacking Red Riot... It seemed relentless, like he was made for killing even the toughest heroes.

Red Riot, who took every hit without so much as flinching. Red Riot, who refused to let any of the pain show, no matter how badly it felt like his skin and bones were on fire. Red Riot, who kept going back for more, ready to defend his city and the rest of the world, if it came down to it.

Red Riot, who loved you deeply. Red Riot, who bought you flowers after any mission that kept him away overnight. Red Riot, who took baths with you and gave you massages, even though his work days were much more taxing than yours. Red Riot, who would go to the ends of the earth to protect you, to show you that he loved you.

The villain had tried to escape, but was so beaten and exhausted after his showdown with Red Riot that he was easily arrested. The last image of Red Riot that the news had shown was a split second of him knocked out on the ground, covered in scrapes and bruises, bleeding from the side of his head. You wondered how long it would be before somebody at the agency called you. It had already been twenty minutes. Maybe, you thought, their not calling was a good sign. Maybe it meant there was nothing to report, that everything was fine. Maybe it meant that he was okay.

Or maybe it meant that people at the agency were drawing straws to figure out who was gonna break the news to the boss's babygirl...

You couldn't sit there anymore. Someone had to know something about what happened. You tried to call the receptionist at the agency--nothing. You guessed it was kind of late, probably past her normal business hours. You tried to call a different agency number. And when that failed, you tried to call your husband's cell phone, because maybe someone from the agency had it and would be able to give you some kind of answer as to what the hell was going on.

No answer.

At this point, you stopped thinking. You got in your car and drove to the agency. Somebody had to tell you.

When you got there, the office was eerily quiet. You walked around for a little while. Finally, someone came walking down the hall in the opposite direction. "Hey, Ms. Y/N," he said. "You didn't hear? Red Riot's at the hospital."

After figuring out which hospital, you didn't even bother to say goodbye to the man as you rushed away. You begged the front desk at the hospital to give you any information on your boyfriend. But when she couldn't reveal anything to you for privacy reasons, one of Kirishima's sidekicks called to you from a few feet away. "He's going to be fine," he reassured you, leading you to a bench outside the room where he was resting. "He was hurt pretty badly. He has a concussion and a collapsed lung, along with needing several stitches and a heavy dose of pain meds. But he's okay."

For the first time since you watched the story on the news a little more than an hour and a half ago, you took a massive breath, your hand falling onto your chest in an attempt to ground yourself. You felt tears well up in the corners of you eyes. "Thank you," you muttered as the sidekick opened the hospital room door for you.

And there he was. Your Kirishima, wrapped up in bandages and hooked up to several monitors for his own health. His eyes were closed, resting. You could hear his labored breathing, even through the oxygen tube in his nose.

How could someone do this to another person? Someone as wonderful as him? You silently swore you were going to personally hunt down whoever had done this and take care of them yourself. Then you remembered they'd already been arrested. You guessed there wasn't much to be done about it.

You caressed his arm, still sweaty and covered in dirt after his fight. His eyes opened at your touch, and he looked right at you. "Hey, babygirl," he said, smiling sleepily.

"Hey," you said, your smile and tears intertwining. Your fingers laced with his, dried blood and debris now smearing over your hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Not bad right now," he answered. "Doc's got me on all kinda pain meds though."

"You scared the hell outta me," you whispered, quickly wiping the tears away before they could completely fall down your face.

Kirishima's hand reached up to hold your face, catching any of the tears that continued to fall, regardless of how you commanded them not to. "'m sorry, honey," he responded.

You shook your head and held his hand against your face "No, don't be sorry," you told him, kissing the dirty palm of his hand. Seriously, he just took a massive beating, and somehow he feels like he needs to apologize? "What did the doctor say?" you asked him. You already got some information before.

Kirishima took a deep breath. "Concussion. Collapsed lung," he said. "Doc said if everything looks good, I can go home tomorrow."

"That's good," you remarked. "I'm gonna take a few days off so you have an extra hand."

"You don't have to do that," he tried to say.

"I'm gonna take care of you," you told him.

"Pshh, I'm fine. You don't have to do anything for me," he tried to claim. Even in his words, you could tell that he was a little unsure. Red Riot was the toughest hero you knew. And Kirishima was the strongest man you knew, even beyond quirks. Kirishima moved a little, seemingly trying to move himself to the side a little. He winced with every single movement, shutting his eyes tight to brace himself against the pain. When he couldn't take it anymore, he gave up. He stopped moving and allowed tears to fall down his cheeks. "Shh, shh," you breathed, wiping his tears away. "It's okay. You're okay. Don't try to move."

"You mean to tell me I can't even make room for my girl on the bed?" he argued with himself. He was trying to make light of the situation, but his voice shook in frustration as he remembered just hours ago, when he was the hero people called when they needed someone tough. Now, he couldn't even shift his weight in a bed.

"I don't think you need to make room for me, babe," you rolled your eyes.

"Y/N, please," he asked. "Everything hurts, inside and out. I'm practically bedridden. All I want is to hold you. Please?"

You pressed your lips together, thinking of a response. You had half a mind to double down, to tell him you'd sit right next to him, but that he needed to rest in the bed. But you knew better than that. You knew he'd at least be here for the night, seeing as it was already almost nine o'clock at night. And you knew it'd be torture for him to not be able to do anything for himself the entire night. You could give him this one thing. You sat next to him on the bed, as closely as you could get to him, and you carefully laid your head on his shoulder. He was wincing before you even lowered your full weight onto him. Once you were fully situated, he took another deep breath, and his pain seemed to ease. "Does this hurt?" you asked, being careful not to press anywhere that would be too painful for him.

"Yeah," he asked, his face spreading into a sweet smile. "Best pain I ever felt."

[reasaph]

"I don't believe in God, but I believe that your my savior."

Soshiro Hoshina x Suicidal Fem Reader!

Summary: (name) a person with no beliefs, no reason and will to live gets hospitalized after another attempt. There, she meets hoshina soshiro and she's been looking forward to waking another morning since.

TW:mention of death, reader got hospitalized for attempting, mention of bedrotting.

Title is from the song "sailor song" by Gigi Perez!

Part 2!

You and Soshiro talked for hours, the cans of the coffee he's got you both long forgotten and moist. To say they were the most comfortable hours of your life wouldn't be an exaggeration. Your sure hes got you hooked. Humbly, you ask anyone; be it fate or any god. You wish, you beg, you 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺 to whoever in charge to extend the hours with him. One minute more to bask in his presence, thats it. You've never desired something so much that you decided to pray. That was something you never thought you'd do. You didnt dwell your whole personality on just a mere belief. But he's got you on your knees, hands claspped with eyes screwed shut, asking for another more minute.

"So so, what d'ya do you think the doctors here do on their free time?" A silly and deranged question. From the short time you'd spend with him, not even a day Long, you had keeped count of those incoherent questions of his. You dont know if he was doing it On purpose, but those questions are the ones That sat you here on this bench fo hours.

"well, This is a tiring job. So they'd probably want as much rest, right?"

"Probably, Your right. I like to think they gossip about patients."

"Thats completely unprofessional."

He laughs. You laugh to, and you dont evem realize it. The vibrating echo of Your laughter didnt sound forced this time, it didn't need to be ripped and snatched out of your throat. It was sincere, you could say it would only be with him. This is new, clutching your stomach in futile attempt to control the laughs that keep escaping, incredibly new. You dont even know what your laughing at anymore, you just are. Hoshina had stopped making noise the moment you did. It was his first time hearing someone laugh like that, so raw and free. He could tell your unfamiliar with the sound of your own happiness, it wasnt rocket science. He feels like he'd just unveiled an artifact, so precious even when kept and hidden for centuries. It would mean the world to him if he could keep making you laugh like this. He didn't say anything, he'd be so guilty if he interupped you at your highest.

But all good things must come to an end. You know that the most. Your familliar with the bitterness that comes after everything worth hanging on to. It all seemed to short, even now. The moment Hoshina checked the time, you knew what was coming next, you could smell it a mile away. Yet you still hopped you were wrong, you dont want this conversation to end just yet. You dont want to face everything head on again. That face he made told everything, it screamed 'i have to go' and it wrathed over your chest. You dont want him to go, you dont want to leave the comfortable atmosphere with him. And above all, you dont wanna feel like an empty walking corpse once more. Hoshina turned to face you, a mourning look adorned his features. That was a new expression of his you've witnessed, you've only seen him giddy and silly until now. Now, he looks upset. You know your time with him is over for today.

"Hey, (name), really sorry but I hafta go now. That smug of a doc said I have prescriptions to take." Thats odd, why is he apologizing? Could he perhaps feel the same agony as you? You believe its impossible, but not because you think he doesn't care. Because he cant possibly match the ache in your chest. He cant, for its to much to even put into words. He hasn't even moved from his seat yet you already long to be in his presence again. Hoshina is sad, yes, but you are 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥.

"Its fine, I really uh— enjoyed talking to you."

"Hey now, dont say it like we wont see each other again. Yer still treating me tomorrow, dont forget about that now. "

"Right."

You guys parted ways after waving goodbye and mumbling 'see you'. The walk back to your hospital room, you felt even more empty and hollow each step your feeble legs took you. Because each step signicates a meter added to the distance between you and him. You dont know where Hoshina is right now, you cant pinpoint his exact location in this big of a hospital and If you could strap a beacon on him, you would. Your chest boils once again, you could feel your lungs close to giving in. It was hell all over again, yet this time, the pain your experiencing is caused by longing. Not because of something so unpleasant, but because of something beautiful. Beautiful, despite being so painful. You pass by many people on the way back, patient and worker alike. You wished you'd pass by a man with a purple bowlcut instead.

You arrived to your own quarters and just collapsit, headfirst on the hospital bed, burrying rour face onto the pillow. It smelled alcholic, to much chemicals used to cleanse it. You inhaled a breath full despite it, the smell left a blazing path in your nostrils, on their way to Polute your lungs. You laid back up right, now met with the pristine material of the crystal white ceiling. Why does every hospital have to be white? Its always so blinding. Not to mention your now having a staring contest with the very source of light in the room, that antagonizing light bulb. It'll turn off automatically at a certain time, but you want it to close now. The darkness was always your comfort, there you were able to lay yourself bare without anyone having to see you.

Your mind wanders back to Hoshina, it seems he put a leash on you as to why you keep thinking about him for more than a normal amount for just a day. You dont wanna be where you cant see him, you wanna hear his sickenly joyous voice and his flashing smile that outshines even the farthest of stars, you wanna talk nonsense with him again, his nonsense never failed to Lift the corners of your mouth to a smile. And you will, tomorrow.

Tomorrow, 8 am. Thats the time you've both agreed upon. Usually, you wouldn't get up until late in the afternoon, just rotting on your bed, the walls would always cave in and the atmosphere was suffocating. You never got up. There was no good reason to, you almost convinced yourself to throw all common sense and self hygiene out the window and just get buried rotting on your bed. Because every time you'd get up, it feels like every misfortune of the whole globe are dumped on your shoulders. It weighs you down, it weighs you back on that sickenly sweet mattress and there you stay there until the next blue moon.

But now, you want to drift to sleep faster and when you wake, your ready to meet Hoshina again. Your so eager to see him, it cant be controlled. His face is the only thing you'd never get tired of. You think its hilarious, you've only met him but you were sure he could mean more. This isn't just some high school crush, your confident about your feelings towards him for you've never felt something this intense your whole uears of living. Not even your longing of death can overrun this feeling. You sew your eyes tight, seeing only pitch black, all this so you could finally sleep and who knows? Maybe even see him in the phantasms of your unconscious state of mind. Thats how low you've stooped. You'll sleep so you can see him faster, you dont like waiting long.

Eventually, you do fall asleep. But not Hoshina. Yes, he's still awake, in his own room, fresh bandages wrapped around his injuries he got from fighting. And yes, if your wondering, hes thinking about you to. He yearns to be in your presence as well, almost as much as you. He doesn't know why. He talks with everyone like that, but he's enjoyed his time with you exceedengly more. Hoshina has been put aside his whole life, all because of his talent and preference for blades over guns. Just because of one measly difference, he was treated differently and looked down upon. But with you, he felt cherished. Its a first for Hoshina to not get judged by first meeting. He doesn't have to train hard or change anything to impress you, it'll come naturally. Hoshina turns around on the matress, facing the window so the ripe rays of the moonlight slapped on his face in result. 'I wants to see her again' was the last thing he talked about before falling asleep.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Its 6 in the morning and your half awake. You woke up to early, just how excited are you? But its not a good thing that theres still alot of time before the agreed upon time. You just know that the next 2 hours will double tenfold when waiting to see Hoshina again. Your not a morning person, not at all. Your regular routine is not for the faint of heart. If some woke up at 6am, you'd be turning off Your phone and tucking yourself to bed. So your shocked by your eagerness to see him, to the point where you'll try to get better. Your convinced Hoshina has hit you with a pan, because your aacting absolutelyInsane.

You brush your teeth and hair, and thoroughly clean your bruises as to the doctors said. You wonder when you gonna get discharged but thats for later, dear reader. You dread the fact that you have to wear that awful hospital gown again, but alas, it is required. You try to look as presentable as you can. You usually wouldnt bother putting effort in your physical appearance, but you figured it would be nice for once. You were sat on a chair, waiting impatiently like a child waiting for they're treat. You were milimeters close to just turning the Whole building upside down just so you can see Hoshina.

So imagine how excited you were when the clock had acutely hit the digit 8. The minute it did, you were busting out of the room, with your injured leg by the way. The pain had seemingly went away and healed, or it was Just overpowered by your giddyness that your nerves didn't have the space to make up for physical pain. So here you were, dragging yourself across these hallways once again. You passed by that same old lady on a wheel chair that you did yesterday. She gave you a judging face back then, which a wasn't such rare occurrence, you were used to having such glares dumped upon the entirety of your shameful being. But now you wondered if she found any difference, between the walking dead body you were yesterday and the eestatic, hungry, affection driven limp you are now.

Whilst you were rushing like you were catching up to a work deadline, he was enjoying his walk through these glossy, hauntingly white hallways. Taking each step according to the comfort of his legs, hands crossed on the broadness of his chest as he struts the hallway. Soshiro Hoshina has always been scary great at maintaining his composure. Those under his wing back at the third division are well aware of it, they have front row seats to how he switches from acting all goofy to having a stoic face in a matter of miliseconds, they even kidded around about how his control over his expressions is the work of witchcraft. However, don't be fooled by his calm demeanor, he's excited to see you as well. But as Vice-captain, it wouldn't be very ideal to him if he just jogged as fast as he can in patient filled hhallway. Hoshina disciplined himself to the bone, he wont let up now.

After what seemed like an eternity of turning corners and navigating his way through these hallways, Hoshina finally sees sight of the cafeteria. He steps in, and the homogenous smell of the food slaps him in the face. If he was weird enough to concentrate and differentiate the aroma, he probably can guess whats on the menu for today. Hoshina wastes no time in trying to find your presence, your presence in which he couldn't get enough of yesterday. His head startes whipping around, turning left to right, right to left in search of a peek of your appearance. He was baffled to say the least, shocked at the population of the people present here this morning. He wants to see you, asap. He started walking to those with even with the slightest resemblance of what your physical appearance looks like, in hopes that it would be you. He saw someone with the same hair color as yours, kinda fooled him there for a brief second. He just kept circling around the vastful room, so distracted in finding you. He doesn't wanna merely sit down and wait, conclude that your not here yet and he should just sit tight. Scarlet eyes scanned the whole cafeteria, but eyes always had blindspots where they provided no visuals, thats why he didn't notice your presence coming up from his south.

You tapped his shoulder from behind.

He doesn't think hes ever whipped his head back that fast his whole life. Hoshina turned his head so urgently he swears he heard a subtle pop in his neck. Upon seeing the sight of your face, he was 'joyous', actually thats underwhelming what Hoshina was feeling at the moment, he was euphoric. His skin feels like its being roasted and his lungs are short of gas. He feels weird, he doesn't know what to do or what to say so hoshina just stood there agape. You didn't move a muscle either, mouth zipped shut with no intention of letting put any sort of noise in fear that he'd back away. You didn't dare try to make a distance, everything else caved in, nothing else mattered, just the one in front of you. He looked so right, and by that you dont mean he's handsome (although he surely is very attractive). By 'right' you mean you'd never get tired of his appearance.

Hoshina Soshiro, to you, is the finest work of art exhibited in museum of life, the most astounding creation of matter you've laid your eyes upon.

Oh shit, you like him, the Hoshina Soshiro.

[frozenjokes]

A Little Question About Love (It’s Not Little At All, Though Scar Is A Bit Frustrated It’s Not As Simple As It Is On TV)

“Hey, thanks again for driving me to the zoo all week, G, I really appreciate it. Still can’t believe how stiff my arm is, I mean, yeah, I expected it to hurt for a while, but I’m so sore!”

Grian chuckled in the driver’s seat, but kept his eyes on the road as he turned onto the street where the employee parking lot was located. Given how massive Scar’s zoo was, it took quite a while to navigate the surrounding area, so he needed to maintain some focus. “So sore you can’t bring your other one up to the wheel either? That sounds pretty bad, Scar, maybe I should turn this car back around and take you home. You might even need to go back to the hospital!”

“No! No no, that won’t be necessary. I just can’t drive, Grian, see, the seatbelt pushes real hard on my arm and shoulder and when I lift it like that it’s so much worse! Blame the seatbelt, blame the seatbelt.”

“And your other arm?”

“Have you heard of phantom pain?”

“Pretty sure we already discussed that’s not how phantom pain works, but sure Scar, go on.”

“Agony, Grian, agony. Can’t lift my arms,” Scar caught Grian’s eye, throwing him a wink, “Only in the car though. A very specific problem, nothing any doctor could address without wasting hours of our time.”

“Our time?”

“Well, duh, you’re my driver!” Scar laughed, and Grian joined him, unable to help himself. Scar could never accept an injury as it was and let himself rest when he needed it. Always moving, always working; that was the Scar way. An idle Scar was a miserable one; it didn’t matter what he was doing as long as he was moving, though he always did prefer to have someone to talk to. It’s why he hated to be at home for too long, or worse, the hospital he frequented as a result of his recklessness. Grian had a theory it’s why he hated driving as well. Sure, it wasn’t quite idle, but sitting still and focusing was not Scar’s forte. Of course, Grian didn’t mind.

He was content with the small silence as he pulled into the parking lot, but Scar would never let that stand.

“I’ve been thinking about something you said recently. I'm just curious, I guess.”

Grian tensed, glancing in Scar’s direction. He looked thoughtful, but in an impossibly neutral way, difficult to read. “Scar, that could mean anything, buddy. Gonna need you to be a lot more specific.”

“Oh!” Scar looked surprised, as if he hadn’t just said something deeply terrifying, “Sorry! Just thinking. It was with Mumbo, after he got upset and bit me, y’know. When I wanted to go after him, I mean. You were really worried and it kinda made me think and stuff.”

Grian deflated, his shoulders sinking a little closer to his chest, “Scar, I really don’t want to talk about that. You know it makes me upset.”

“No- it’s not about you getting upset, I know why you were and I really am sorry. That’s another thing that’s been in my mind but not the thing,” Scar began to ramble and Grian let himself fall back against the seat, resigned to the fact that this was happening. He didn’t want to have this conversation again. He just didn’t want Scar to get himself killed; a high order apparently.

Scar continued regardless, “It was more about.. I dunno, I mean, I’d say we’re pretty close. We’re close, right?” Scar didn’t give Grian any time to answer, “And you said that I mean a lot to you, and you mean a lot to me too, but I don’t know what that means to me, and then you said that I’ve got a lot of people who love me, but it kinda sounded like you were saying you loved me, and that’s great, I also have feelings that are like that, but I also also don’t know what that means really, to love someone. And I was just thinking about it. I love you, of course I do, but what does that mean? Does it mean anything? When you told me you loved me, what did that mean to you?”

Grian gaped. What the fuck else could he do. What the fuck was even happening here???

“Scar. Are you. What are you asking here. What are you saying.”

“I love you.”

“Okay.” Grian gripped the wheel so hard he was sure his nails would leave indents. He didn’t even bother trying to park; halfway between the lines of two spots would have to do. “You love me. What does that mean.”

“I don’t know. That’s why I asked you.” Scar was infuriatingly relaxed, like this was just a normal conversation with zero implications at all.

“I can’t tell you how you feel, Scar!”

“Well you said you loved me first, so I was asking you what that meant.”

“I didn’t- I said people love you, Scar, like your friends and family! That people would be very upset if you died doing something dumb- it- it wasn’t meant to be some kind of confession?”

“Oh, I didn’t think so!” Scar threw up his hands in defense, like that was at all obvious.

“Then what did you think?”

“I thought that you loved me.”

“Of course I love you- obviously I love you. What is happening here? Why are you so stuck on this?”

“I just don’t know what it means. I don’t know how to tell the difference and I thought that if you loved me you might be able to tell me. I feel like I love everyone the same, and that’s all sorts of confusing. I mean, maybe besides family love, but that’s more complicated, there’s like- layers.”

Grian had to fight to keep himself from gaping. This was not the conversation he thought he’d be having today. “Well,” he forced his voice back into a more even tone, something a little nicer, “For me, yeah, kinda. There’s a lot that goes into love, layers, like you said. There’s the kinda unconditional respect I have for most everyone, and it builds from there? Friendship of course, elements of physical attraction can further things sometimes. Attraction in general makes a big difference, and not just physical, it’s an emotional thing too. Personality. Mannerisms. It’s a slow thing for me most of the time. That’s not always the case though, some people fall fast. For me it’s like.. a slow infatuation with the wholeness of someone. Not necessarily loving every trait, but kinda respecting it, y’know?”

“Like friends.”

“Like- no, not like friends, like being in love. Romantically.”

“That’s friends though.”

“It’s not- Scar how many of your friends do you feel all those ways about- how many of your friends are you physically attracted to?”

“A few. Close friends, Grian, obviously. And come on, like all of our shared friends are hot, physical attraction can not be the deciding factor here, that does not make any sense.”

Grian shrugged. “We do have many hot friends.”

“I know! I think you’re attractive.”

If Grian had been drinking anything he would have spit it all over the dashboard, “You- Scar!” Scar didn’t seem to notice his words had any effect though, rambling on.

“I mean, seriously, what the hell is supposed to be the difference here! Platonic, romantic, I’m half convinced everyone has just been lying to me. I keep waiting for all these rainbows and sparkles to light up in my brain and go yup! There it is! That’s romance, that’s love, and it’s like- yeah love as in my friends who I love dearly, who I’d happily spend the rest of my life with if I got the chance-“

“-Scar-“

“-Yeah, I mean obviously when I tell you I love you I mean very explicitly every single one of those things you mentioned. Every! One! I don’t hand out ‘I love yous’ for free, I mean it. That’s not the same for everyone though, and that doesn’t bother me or anything, but doesn’t it feel a little confusing sometimes? So that wasn’t what you meant when you said that, right?” Scar looked at him so genuinely, so innocently, like that was the easiest question to answer in the world.

“Uhm. Yeah, I. Love. I love you, Scar.”

“Great!” Scar preened, apparently fully, completely, entirely satisfied with what just happened here, “This is great. Glad we’re on the same page.” And then he gathered his things and just left. Opened the car door, personal items in hand, and walked away with a goddamn smile on his face before Grian could even hope to yell out the window, WE ARE NOT ON THE SAME PAGE.

Instead, he buried his head in his hands, screamed a little, punched the passenger seat, let his face hit the car horn, then drove home, feeling overall very normal about that little conversation.

read the rest of the fic here

[burplewrites]

saudade | tamarack & qiu

𓆉 | fandom: our life: now & forever

𓆉 | characters: tamarack, qiu, reader

𓆉 | word count: 1,075 words 5,946 characters

𓆉 | a/n: this story is sort of in qiu's pov, and about grief and stuff!! i don't think its too sad, just an experience but you have been warned!

𓆉 | quick summary: y/n passed. the world just needs to learn how to deal.

saudade is an emotional state of melancholic or profoundly nostalgic longing for a beloved yet absent something or someone.

“and you two are gonna grow up someday and i’m gonna grow up too, but that’s never gonna stop us from being the same age. cool.” that’s what they said, eight years ago, when they first met y/n and tamarack for the first time after the duo waltzed their way into their life.

ever since that fateful day, the three were friends, best friends. even with the little break of their friendship from ‘personal problems and moody feelings’ as y/n used to say, y/n brought them together again and reminded them why they were friends in the first place.

their friendship only got better from then on, and they committed to bettering themselves and each other, talking about problems, and about random thoughts that entered their minds. at least, that’s what qiu thought. he thought that they all told each other everything, all their stupid secrets, random thoughts in the middle of the night, things that would be considered too much information for other people. so why didn’t y/n tell them, not tamarack or him, anything about what they were going through? why didn’t they say anything at all?

they never expressed pain, or acted like they were suffering at all. they were always smiling, expressing their positive emotions with not a care in the world. qiu loved them for that. they had been crushing on each other for a while, qiu knew that, y/n knew that, and even tamarack, who had to watch the whole thing unfold in front of her, knew that. they just never got together, and now they would never get the chance to.

it was only a year ago when their life changed. when tamarack yelled in the middle of the night, alarming everyone out of their drowsy state, y/n was having trouble breathing, and was trying to get upstairs to their mother's room without disturbing their best friends on the couch. their limbs started giving out, making them fall to the floor. that whole night was a blur for qiu and tamarack alike. watching their best friend’s mom trying to help y/n take some breaths as they all cried, seeing the tiredness in y/n’s eyes, like they’ve been fighting this for years and was finally starting to give up, and opal’s sobs as she begged her only child to keep trying, to keep breathing. tamarack clutched hard onto qiu that day, the shock causing her to freeze up.

hearing their best friend's last words, being so weak, so quiet, yet so genuine. it was like y/n trying to fully get everything out like they knew this would be the end.

"hey its okay, you're okay… you're okay. i love you guys so much, more than you'll ever know."

that's what they whispered, as the paramedics took them away. a smile never left their face, even with the ventilator on their face and the paramedics checking their vitals on the way out the door. they died on the way to the hospital. even to the end, they were caring for others.

opal changed as a person after that. having to bury your only child, someone who you watched grow up, someone who you experienced their good days and bad days, and was just expected to keep moving. but that was impossible, how could she? her world stopped that day but everyone kept moving, the world kept spinning at the same speed it always did, no faster, no slower.

but y/n was gone.

tamarack put her whole being into her cello practice since y/n always seemed to like it when she played for them. she even played a song she wrote at the funeral; a song that was supposed to be for her best friend. one that they were somewhat writing together. she still tried being normal, helping opal with whatever she needed, but never trying to pressure her. it was tamarack's form of escape. if she could be in the house that y/n was in, surrounded by all the things that made them, them… that would be enough. it had to be enough. qiu simply regressed into themself. it was like they were back to when they were fourteen. they stayed outside sitting by their ‘hideout’; hiding away from the world. tamarack tried to stay with him some days, when qiu wanted the company and couldn’t deal with being alone without someone to talk to, someone who understood, but other times it was too overwhelming and they preferred to be alone.

life changed. golden grove moved on, and people found other things to talk about, but sometimes things brought them back to that day one year ago.

especially today, the one-year anniversary of y/n’s death. three hundred and sixty-five days without them. it was early morning, around five am, and qiu biked to the cemetery to just be with them alone. they knew tamarack would be coming in the morning after she woke up, and opal would be coming in the afternoon, so this was the best option. plus they couldn’t sleep.

qiu never knew they could cry that much. every time they came to visit, to talk about something exciting that happened, or something weird, or anything really, they would end up breaking into sobs each time, gasping for air by the time their tears ran out.

‘why did you even have to come into my life if you were going to leave it partway?’

that was a question that they asked themselves multiple times and always felt bad for thinking about it after. they knew tamarack felt the same. tamarack was the first of the two to mention that thought out loud.

but it was true, wasn’t it? they never regretted having y/n in their life. everyone's life shone so much brighter with them there, like the sun on a summer day, but with the sun gone it gets darker. the sun always comes back, but y/n wouldn't. y/n was dead. they were gone, and they were going to stay gone.

no matter how much opal begged, how much they all hoped and dreamt, y/n was not coming back. they were never coming back. they had been gone for the last three hundred sixty-five days, they would be gone for the next year, and the years after that. and nothing could change that.

so as qiu sat there, laying by their grave while talking about everything and anything, all they could really do was hope y/n was there and listening.

[alwaysurvalentine]

maybe - drabble

Written for Day 3 of @steddieangstyaugust - prompt: "The sunset looks lovely, don't you think?" - word count: 779

~

“The sunset looks lovely, don’t you think?” 

Steve’s voice breaks the quiet in the room, his only response being the beeping of the machines making sure Eddie stays alive. He’s been asleep for 12 days now. Wounds stitched up and patched as best as they could. His doctors say all they can do now is wait. 

It took 2 days for Dustin to even explain what happened fully. Not that Steve needed to know the specifics, knew as soon as he saw Dustin crouched next to a bloody Eddie what happened. What decision was made - knew he’d have done the same thing if it came down to it. Doesn’t mean Steve’s going to let this go so easily. 

Took a week before Mrs. Henderson decided to cut back the time he was spending at Eddie’s bedside. She packed up her car and took Dustin to go stay at her sister’s. Steve can’t blame her, their road got torn up during the “quakes” (the government had a cover up story faster than he’d liked) and it made going back and forth to the hospital nearly impossible. Hasn’t stopped Dustin from calling to check in as soon as he knows Steve’s home from visiting hours. 

Every day he has to tell the kid the same thing. 

“Hasn’t woken up yet, but,” and then some small thing that he’s clutching onto with all of the hope in his body. Steve knows Dustin needs something to focus on too, anything that shows Eddie is going to come back. 

Despite not being the smartest, Steve’s picked up a lot from sitting with Eddie. Knows what the machines are reading, and even if his eyes aren’t the best, he keeps them peeled to see if anything dares to change. 

When he isn’t staring at the machines like they owe him something (like the life of the boy, the hero in this bed), he finds himself looking out of Eddie’s window. It’s not much of a view if you look down, just cars upon cars in a parking lot, but if you look up, the sky looks like paint smeared on canvas. (Steve never could keep up with the different types of art through history.) He can’t look at Eddie.

Can’t see the bandages that crawl up his neck, knows they cover his torso too. Can’t see his hair spread across the pillows like some kind of halo of dark, loose curls. Can’t see how pale he is, almost matching the white sheets surrounding him. Can’t see how small he looks - like a doll left on someone’s bed. He saw him when he was first let into the room and that was enough, when he tried to look again all he can see is where the blood trailed out of Eddie’s mouth as he did chest compressions. 

“-ve? You good there, boy?”

Wayne’s beginning to sit in the chair next to Eddie’s bed as he speaks, the words directed at Steve even though his eyes are focused on Eddie. 

Steve swallows and nods, going over to his own chair, grabbing the walkman to put it in his bag. (It’s the same one from high school even if it’s torn up and half the zippers don’t work anymore.) 

“Yeah, sorry, I just got distracted. I’ll get out of here, uh, they said they’re gonna lessen up on the pain meds starting tomorrow and see if that helps him to wake up at all.” 

As he talks, he picks up the wrapper from his lunch earlier and carries it to the trash in the corner of the room.

“Hey now, you don’t have to rush out of here. I appreciate you keeping an eye on him while I’m figuring stuff out at the new place.” Wayne’s voice is kind, the gruff edge of it more endearing than intimidating now. Some time between acting guard outside of Eddie’s room and holding Dustin while he cried, Wayne decided he liked Steve just fine. 

“Thanks, Mr. Munson but I need to head home anyway. Dustin is going to be calling soon and you and I both know he might just lose it if I’m not there to answer.” 

Steve knows the joke doesn’t quite land, not enough energy put behind the words and his grimace doesn’t help either. 

Wayne goes along with it anyway, a quirk of a smile accompanying his words. 

“Yeah, Lord knows that boy would try and find some way to walk here. And I thought I told you it’s just Wayne.” A mocking stern look. “Get some rest Steve. Thanks for letting me know, if we’re lucky he’ll be complaining about the hospital food come tomorrow.”

“Maybe.” 

[fangirlfrom-hell]

Several Missed Calls and a Sprained Ankle || Jay Halstead x Halstead Sister one shot

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠

Also appearing Will and Connor Rhodes because I miss him.

I'm not a doctor, medical topics are vague.

Friendly reminder that Becca is Halstead sister.

☆

The Intelligence squad had just came back to the bullpen with a suspect in custody when Sergeant Platt came inside to interrupt whatever they were having.

-"Hey, Halstead! I've been receiving calls from your sister's school all day. They said they called your father, but didn't answer, so she asked them to look for you, but your phone was off".

-"I was in a UC run, I always turn the personal off...". He tried to explain himself with guilt.

-"That's what I tried to explain to them. Apparently she's injured and needs to be picked up as soon as possible".

-"Wh-what happened?" He hadn't even finished taking off his jacket and now he was hastily putting it back on.

-"They didn't elaborate on the matter, but they've been calling like crazy every half hour. I even volunteered to go and bring her here, but they did say it would be impossible if I'm not in the list". She pulled a face with that last statement. -"Can you believe that?"

Everybody settled in at the bullpen, all detectives listening to the conversation.

-"Boss..." Jay looked at Voight.

-"Sure, go. What are you waiting for?". He ordered with his arms crossed. -"We can take care of this".

Jay nodded his head as saying "thank you" and walked himself down to the parking lot trying to look chill, although on the inside he was really unsettled for whatever had happened to his little sister. He couldn't avoid being the overprotective big brother, it ran through his veins.

-"Hey, Detective. Make sure you put my name in that freakin' list!". Platt yelled before he crossed the door. -"I don't want to feel so humiliated again". She said in her usual exaggerated way. Then she muttered to herself: I'm a CPD Sergeant, who dares to say 'no' to me like that?

The long road to Becca's school in Canaryville wasn't helpful to ease Jay's mind. He was also feeling abashed for not being able to answer the call on time, although he was not responsible for attending those emergencies, therefore he was not aware of them. And where the hell was his father? Why didn't he answer those calls from school? He cursed him. This wasn't the first time something like this happened.

-"I'm here to pick my sister, Becca Halstead".

-"Oh, sure. We've been calling you for hours. Literally hours". The secretary gave him a judging look, which Jay tried to ignore. -"She's upstairs, the nurse is accompanying her. I'll notify her you're here. Follow me".

Jay followed the woman through the halls of the school until they went outside to the back yard. From the second floor of the building in front of them, he recognized Becca's ginger blonde hair. She was leaning on someone else to walk, looked like she couldn't do it by herself and there was some pain in her tiny face.

-"What happened?" Jay asked without taking his eyes off her.

-"She sprained her foot on the stairs, she didn't roll or hit her head, so there was no need to call an ambulance. It was an accident, some kids were playing around and pushed her unintentionally. We already took action on the matter, don't worry about that".

He walked upstairs to help his sister. As soon as he was able to entirely see her, he noticed how her foot was in the air, shoe untied.

-"Jay!" Becca said with relief.

-"It's all right". The secretary told the nurse. -"Her brother will handle it from here".

-"Is it your ankle? You can't put your foot down at all?"

-"No, it really hurts". Becca moved her head from one side to another.

-"It's a little bit swollen". The nurse talked. -"I applied ointment and ice for the pain, but I can't really do anything else in here. I think it's just a sprain, but she should be checked at the hospital".

-"Yes, I'll take her straight to The Med. Thank you!"

Jay took his badge and gun from his hips and placed them somewhere else in his jeans.

-"Sorry". He said, feeling the alarmed gaze of the two women. Then, he took the girl's backpack and put it on his shoulder. -"All right, Becs. Come here".

Jay hugged Becca and lifted her to carry her down the stairs. It was very easy for him, light weight, the girl was smaller than an average 10 years old. She placed her arms around her brother's shoulder.

-"Take care, Beckie". The nurse waved goodbye as she was taken by the detective.

-"This is so embarrassing". She said looking around to check if somebody was watching them, but the yard was empty, everyone was inside of the classrooms. Jay couldn't resist to laugh a bit. It was a cute funny scene: a big, tall, muscular man with a girly purple backpack hanging from his shoulder and a girl with an embarrassed face in his arms.

He didn't put her down until they were back to the office, where he had to sign some papers before leaving.

-"Is that all?" Jay asked.

-"Yes, you can take her now".

-"Oh! Before I forget". He said turning around one more time to the reception. -"I want to add another person to the list of people who can pick her up".

-"Sure. She does need that". She didn't miss the chance to look at him with a judgy face. -"What's the name of the one?".

-"Trudy Platt". He smirked. Becca just gave him a look.

At the truck, Jay placed her in the co-pilot seat and then opened the back door to put the backpack away.

-"What do you carry in this? Rocks?" He freed his shoulder from the weight.

Becca wasn't a talkative girl, but still she was unusually quiet during the road to the hospital. She only broke the silence to groan in pain, that's when he noticed her teary eyes.

-"Does it hurt?" Jay asked, knowing the answer.

-"Yes. I think it's getting worse".

-"We're almost there, just hang up a little bit".

He wanted to ask Becca about how she had fallen, since his detective instincts knew that it was due to something more than an accident. He opened his mouth to say something he had been holding up, but an incoming call interrupted his intentions.

-"It says Hailey Upton". Becca announced, grabbing his phone.

-"Gotta answer that". He sighed. -"Would you put it in the speaker for me, please?".

Both siblings knew each other quite well. Becca knew how Jay noticed something strange was going on, but she didn't want to be interrogated. And Jay knew how Becca was aware of that and was reluctant to speak.

-"Soooooo...Is Sergeant Platt coming to pick me now if I get sick?" She changed the conversation as soon as the call ended.

-"Is that a problem?" Jay laughed out loud.

-"Well, it's kinda scary".

-"She told me to put her name in the list, I don't know if it was true, though. The thing is that today I was on the streets working a case when all this happened. I didn't have my phone with me, that's why I didn't answer".

-"I imagined that. That's why I told them to call directly to the 21st".

-"Which was very clever of you. I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier, I should have".

-"You don't have to be sorry, I'm not blaming you for anything. You are not even supposed to be responsible for me, anyway".

She had this sort of way to make claims to his father and mother without even realizing it. That last statement made the rest of the road extremely quiet.

The moment Becca crossed the entrance door sitting in a wheelchair, she realized she had never been at The Med as a patient before. Maggie was pushing her to the ER where Will was waiting for his siblings. Due to the type of injury, Dr. Rhodes was assigned to Becca's case.

-"This is too swollen". Connor said while checking her foot. -"On a scale from 1 to 10, how much does it hurt?"

-"Uh, I don't know. Maybe 5?"

Both of her big brothers stared at her teary eyes and her sick gesture, not believing her answer. She was trying so hard not to cry.

-"6?"

-"Are you sure?" The doctor gave her a warm smile. -"I was expecting you to say 10 or maybe even beyond 10".

Becca remained silent, pressing her lips.

-"Ok. We'll do an X-Ray just to make sure it isn't more than a sprain. Meanwhile, the nurse will administer you some pain killers".

He went out of the room to order the studios and made a sign for the siblings to follow him outside, leaving their sister alone with the technicians for a few minutes.

-"What do you think?" Dr. Halstead asked.

-"I don't think she just simply twisted her ankle. For the damage, it must have been a harder impact".

-"Is it bad?" Jay asked with concern.

-"Can't tell until I see the X-Ray. What worries me the most right now is how hard she's trying to take the pain".

-"Yeah, that's something she does". Jay sighed. -"Not only with physical pain".

When the three men entered back to the room, Becca was silently crying, wiping her tears away. Jay was the one that approached to hold her. Her bruised and swollen ankle was a standout in the room.

-"Becca, you have what we call a severe grade 2 sprain and I'm pretty sure it hurts more than a lot right now. Why don't you say anything? You can complain about the pain, that's what hospitals are for".

-"I don't want to be a bother". The girl answered quietly, tears still dropping from her eyes.

-"What are you talking about?" Will walked to be close to the bed.

-"Becca...". Jay sat next to her and bent to be face to face. -"You are not a bother and you will never be".

-"It's just...I'm scared you'll stop answering the phone calls too".

In that moment, everything fell into place and Jay's heart dropped. The conversation suddenly closed to just the two of them, although everyone could hear their words.

-"Bec...I will never stop caring for you. I won't lie, sometimes it gets hard with my work, but I will do what is necessary so that something like today does not happen again. I promise".

-"But you shouldn't, like, you shouldn't be the one in charge of me. I'm a burden".

-"I know what you mean, and I know how you feel about dad, but believe me when I tell you how much it makes me happy to be here for you. I'm your big brother, it actually is my job to protect you. I love you, silly. I would never forgive myself if something happens to you. I wouldn't forgive myself if you didn't have the confidence to call me either".

With all being said and those emotions off her chest, her crying increased in tears and sound.

-"It's a 20. The pain is a 20" She managed to say in what seemed to be overacted, although it was only the natural response to having endured so much physical and emotional pain in such a short time.

-"Let's apply more pain killers". Connor talked to the nurses. -"And let's finish this up". He smiled at the little girl.

Jay found her reaction a little bit cute and couldn't resist smiling a bit when she jumped into her arms.

-"You will have to use the walking boot for at least 4 weeks". Dr. Rhodes informed when he finished. -"That if everything goes well".

-"What about dance lessons?"

-I'm sorry, Becs". -Dr. Halstead got into the conversation. -"That's going to be impossible. You need to give it a rest".

-"Not to mention the pain that would cause you".

-"Is she going to be able to be back when her ankle heals?"

-"If she listens to my recommendations in the letter, I don't see why not". Connor then turned to Becca: "I know this thing is very uncomfortable, but is necessary. You might start feeling as if you don't need it before the set time, but it is important that you do not take it off until I say so. If you trust me and you do this, You'll be fine and back to dancing soon".

Becca nodded sadly.

-"I understand this is very important to you, Becca. I can arrange to see you each week instead of two weeks to check how it is going".

-"Thank you, Connor''. His colleague said.

Becca yawned more than once on their way back to the Bullpen. She was discharged from the hospital, so she couldn't stay there and there wasn't any other place Jay could leave her. She was tired, her stressed body only wanting to rest.

-"Look at that!" Platt exclaimed when she spotted both Halsteads crossing the front door. -"It is my favorite Halstead!"

-"I'm glad to hear she's your favorite, because you are in the list now, Serge".

The Desk Sergeant smirked at the news.

-"I take this honor responsible".

-'All right, girl". Jay said, bending in front of the stairs. -"Let's do this again".

Becca hopped into her brother's back and he carried her upstairs, where all the squad greeted her with enthusiasm and good wishes. She sat in the coffee room waiting for him.

-"The punk confessed. We have enough evidence. It was an easy case, we're done for now". Voight informed Detective Halstead.

-"I'm sorry I wasn't here for interrogation, Serge. There was no one to take care of her...".

-"There's nothing to be sorry about''. Hank waved his hand from one side to another. -"Besides, you did your job, a good job capturing him. Now, you all are dismissed. You should take your sister to rest".

Detectives were able to go back home relatively early that day. The bullpen was empty when Jay went out of Hank Voight's office. There was only a blonde woman sitting at the desk in front of him.

-"Why are you still here?"

-"Your sister fell asleep on the couch. It didn't feel good to leave her alone in her condition". Hailey answered.

-"Thank you for that". He said honestly.

-"The same thing happened to me when I was a little bit older than her. I know it hurts like hell".

-"Yeah, she had a bad time. She's tired and drugged in pain killers, I should take her home".

-"Tell me if you need help with anything, I'm here. For real, partner". Detective Upton took her coat and walked herself downstairs.

-"Thanks again, Hails".

-"No problem".

It took him a while to stop staring at the stairs before going into the coffee room. There she was deeply asleep, it looked like she was melting.

-"Becca". He softly called her. -"Becca, it's time to go". But there was no answer, not even when he shaked her.

-"Well, third time's the charm. What could go wrong?" He muttered to himself and took Becca in his arms, this time as if she was a baby.

[mixelation]

has Kakashi/Shisui ever been on a real mission with Tori? (Or Deidara for that matter) Since you mentioned that Deidara is technically part of R&D, do Tori and Deidara go on R&D missions together? Are "R&D missions" even a thing? It's just hard to imagine her on like a legit mission with people who know her and are not reborn!Akatsuki

i haven't hammered out how R&D really... works, yet. i know most of tori's day-to-day activities are research-related. i think most "R&D missions" are internal. like, you'll get assigned to develop a justu that does xyz, or test out the efficacy of some new field protocol someone proposed, etc. you might have external missions to observe or collect something, but i think those are more like "R&D requests the mission, it goes into the general mission pool, someone from R&D may or may not actually be assigned." R&D ninja can take gen pool missions depending on what their assignment in R&D is like, or their expertise might get them assigned to gen pool missions requiring niche knowledge/techniques/etc

deidara has an R&D affiliation because minato is like "oooh that kid needs specialized space or he's going to blow up something important," and then from there it's a lot of R&D higher ups begging him to formally write down how his justu actually, like, work. sometimes someone is like "hey wait can you make you hyper useful animated clay do x?" and then they have to listen to him give an insane diatribe on art, but sometimes he does go and do it. but i don't think he's assigned to any research groups and his main goal as formally stated by the hokage's office is to just be a better ninja (most R&D ninja are not like this, but it's not uncommon for someone to be there for this purpose). so deidara also regularly takes field missions

tori gets field missions less often, but she ends up on a lot of random ones because having a fuinjutsu master on hand is really useful and there's not a lot of them. i talked a little about this before, but i don't think it would be insane for her to be temporarily assigned to an ANBU team that needs fuinjutsu for some reason, or for someone from ANBU to be stuck on a gen pool team including tori. i think minato might be hesitant to match her with kakashi or shisui, but it's not... impossible. idk it might be fun to have them interact in a professional capacity. the tori mood for this au is that she is incredibly good at what she does; it just always comes as a surprise that she is lol

i decided medics do have to put in a certain number of hours training/in the hospital to maintain their status as medics, so what's MORE likely (and possibly funnier) is shisui going in for stitches and tori being like "guess who's doing her mandatory hours!!!!!" (i don't think tori is like.... great as an actual medic. certain aspects of it she's fantastic at because it's her research interest, but she doesn't actually like practicing medicine, and she's constantly trying to dodge her hospital shifts or count missions where she did 0 medical jutsu toward her hours)

one thing i want to play with is tori in a situation where other people's wellbeing/survival depends on her. like a mission gone wrong where she realizes she's the one who has to get other people to safety. i think this would be fun because tori.... never has to do this? she's always been the weakest on the team, and she doesn't consider herself a leader

[justjesse116]

Getting up on my soap box again.

For the record, I don't believe Horikoshi has meant to empower any woman or femme person with his depictions of certain characters thus far.

THERE AREN'T MANY.

Hey, sorry, yet again, Endeavor's family, there is NOTHING in this series that he has ever written that is femme empowering. Oh right, Enji's daughter wants to forgive him. And? The only other woman involved was forced into a mental hospital BY HIM for a decade(?).

Miss me with that shit. Especially with the time this is supposed to be set in, assuming the lifetime of his readers. And I don't know how different it is in Japan, but. Guess what. Until 1950 women couldn't open a fucking credit card without their father or husband's written consent. And I know just by listening to these fucking IDIOTS on this website that they're American, so. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. About what Rei could or couldn't have done. You're telling me to my face my own mother should have risked her literal life to stand up to a delusional, psychotic piece of shit who wouldn't listen to her, point blank. And if you don't like my opinion book a flight to Chicago and I'll fist fight you for free.

This nasty ass thing we have going on of sympathizing with men who have Had A Bad Time Of It™ is getting on my last fucking nerve. Whether it's Enji (likely) or Dabi (less likely, but not impossible) I need someone besides me to get a fucking grip.

You never give women the same grace, what, because you're primarily attracted to men and feel the need to excuse every shitty thing they do? Fuck you.

HEY. Again, Daddy Issues Central, what makes you think I'm giving men any leeway?

I love this story, I love this show. I love TOUYA. But I think if he had been a female child, fans would have hated his guts, and wished for his death. I'm not sorry. The portrayal of males vs females in literally every piece of media is like day and night. So I'm not going to sit here and be like oh yeah, Touya is definitely OldEst DaUGhter CodED. Because he's not. He is the most watered down version of an eldest daughter that you could conceptualize. Because his writer has no real concept of what that is.

And again, if you don't like this opinion, come fist fight me about it, because I'm done interacting with literal children who think they know everything. Fucking sue me.

[herewegobacktomoon]

Okay, I've been trying for two days to ignore all the feelings 6.07 brought up for me, but you all made it kind of impossible with all the edits and GIFs🥲

So here I am, trying to put all the thoughts that have been nagging me out there, hoping that it'll take away some of my pain and if not, it'll make people who believe Maya is just a shitty abusive human being realize how wrong that is.

So, let's start.

The first thing Maya says when she wakes up? She asks where Carina is, she asks for her wife.

I've seen many people commenting that Maya was looking for her because she probably just wanted to get out of there asap, but I don't think it's about that at all.

Take one second, one moment, to look at her.

She just woke up, she's puzzled, she slowly takes in her surrounding, trying to gather her thoughts, to understand what may be going on, until you see a shift behind her eyes.

Teddy talks to her, Jack is there too, she knows she's at Grey Sloan, and that befuddled look turns into a conscious looking for something, or rather someone.

She woke up, in the hospital where her wife works, and Carina is not there.

Maya's not plotting her elopement right now, she just needs her wife, she needs her and to see that Carina's not there has probably sent her on a spiraling of her own.

I might be wrong, obviously, this is just my opinion, but the second scene gives us a lot to think about.

As soon as Jack tells her about Maya, Carina runs to her, terrified.

That "hey", the same exact thing she told her brother when she entered his room after his surgery, might be a coincidence (probably is) but it still gives us an insight on how triggering this can be for Carina, who flies to Maya's side but not without throwing a glance at her stats first.

Carina is understandably worried, but so is Maya.

The slew of sorrys she blurts out speak on its own: she knows her getting hurt is probably one of Carina's worst fears, if not her worst one, and I strongly believe that not seeing her before, as soon as she woke up, had instilled in her the idea that Carina might have been so angry with her that she had left her there, not even daring to come see her.

It's wrong, we know Carina wouldn't leave Maya like that, but in that moment Maya doesn't.

Carina is not Lane, but Maya is too stuck in her head to remember that, and she's terrified.

She's so terrified that the exact moment her wife is by her side, she clings to her with everything she has. And right there, that's Maya needing her wife, wanting her close.

She knows she needs her, she knows it's bad, Carina doesn't yet, but Maya is aware what happened in order for her to fall.

She simply can't bring herself to accept that, so she denies it.

And that's when she asks Carina to be discharged.

The tone of her voice, her eyes... she's trying to talk Carina into this: she's not manipulative, she's just trying to get things to go her way, as we all do.

And Carina is starting to get a bigger image of the situation, but there are still some pieces left to the puzzle.

And it's shown perfectly in the scene right after that one.

When Maya brings up wanting to be discharged again, Carina's answer shows us that she still doesn't have a full picture of all this.

"You've been doing too much", she says but the problem is that it's worse than that. It's way worse.

Maya didn't just "do too much": she's being reckless, putting her life at risk in more than one occasion, overexerting herself even when she knows she's in pain (like the treadmill scene, which has so many meanings), but Carina doesn't know that and she doesn't realise it either.

She jokes about it, she brings up Maya's Olympics and her bragging, something Maya always did to show how good she was at embracing the pain, at overcoming it.

She always used it as a demonstration of her stubbornness and her willpower, and by using it as an example, we know that it's what Carina thinks this is about too: Maya being stubborn.

It's when Maya says that she needs to get back to work, because there was a call and she was supposed to help her team that something starts to feel wrong.

"I need to get back to work" Maya's voice is shaking, the walls are cracking again.

"I'm fine" she insists when Carina disagrees, shaking her head, her voice trembling again, but we can see that she's trying so hard not to break down, and when Carina brings up "the help" Maya needs, the walls fly back up.

She feels constricted, having no control, and in one of her most vulnerable moments, Carina brings up the thing she's been avoiding for months now, and as a consequence, she feels attacked.

So Maya snaps, her defenses shutting Carina out once again.

Maya snaps and Carina flinches, abruptly getting up.

As triggering as this moment is for her, considering her past with her father or at least, the little we can assume for what we saw and heard here and there mostly on Grey's, we can see realisation dawning on her.

The puzzle is not complete, but another piece has just fallen into her hands.

The look on her face (I can't stress enough how fucking amazing Stefania's acting is, every single time) speaks volume once again.

Maya is not herself.

She's not scared of her wife, but she's terrified of where her Maya has gone, and how far that distance has now grown, irreparably.

It's not the first time Maya snapped at her in the last period, but never, ever like this, not even on the rooftop scene.

She's starting to understand that no matter what she does, the help Maya needs is way bigger than the capacity of what she can do for her.

It's not until she talks with Jack that the puzzle is complete.

Watching it for the first time live, kinda got me angry, because I could tell Carina was processing, slowly making a decision, and I hated how Jack was apparently making it about him, but I have to thank some people on twitter who shared their thoughts and made me see it slightly differently.

So, while I would still have probably made him ask her how she felt, or how it went, something that Carina probably wouldn't have even needed to answer to, ( I'm telling you a sigh would have been more than enough, explicative in itself considering the situation), I believe this scene was a turning point.

Carina realized Maya wasn't just being stubborn.

At first, I was surprised at how Jack was so straightforward, angry at his lack of delicacy, considering how Carina already lost many people she loved , especially her brother, but after many, many rewatches, I came to realize that it was probably the aim of the whole thing.

To draw a parallel, at least in Carina's head, something stirring through her traumas and forcing her to make a decision, more drastic than everything she had considered so far.

A decision Maya feels betrayed by.

Maya was hoping to be discharged, but teddy and Carina tell her she's basically being 5150ed.

Now, for all the people that like me aren't too familiar with US laws, 5150 is a law code for a temporary, involuntary, psychiatric commitment for people who present a mental illness that leads them to be a danger to themselves, being considered unstable.

And while it doesn't excuse AT ALL Maya's behaviour, or bringing up Andrew's death, it EXPLAINS why she would feel that way.

Maya's not okay and we can see that very clearly, but she doesn't want to admit it.

"let me go home, we can figure this out" and then "you can help me, at home".

That pause between "you can help me" and "at home"? A whole line. (Danielle's acting as well...a masterpiece)

Her voice breaks again, and what I love about this part is the rollercoaster we go through as she expresses her emotions.

She's terrified, she's so afraid and tears are pricking at her eyes, but as soon as she feels that fear getting too loud, she tries to overshadow it with anger.

She felt like she had no control as she lay in that bed, and the 5150 took away the last bit of it she thought she still had.

She's a loose cannon now and Carina's standing right in her trajectory.

So she brings up Andrew.

His death and Carina's need for space, which was a whole different story, to Maya right now it isn't.

In a conlicting way, I'm convinced she didn't bring it up to hurt Carina.

She doesn't want to hurt her or to reopen her wounds even if that's what happens (I'll talk about it in a sec) : it's her twisted way to tell Carina what she needs, that she needs love and support, but that she doesn't feel it.

In a very twisted way, it's Maya letting out what we already knew she feared: that Carina wasn't on her side anymore, or worse, she no longer loved her as before.

Is it devastatingly painful? Without a doubt.

Even more knowing that it was exactly what Carina was doing in that moment: loving her beyond herself.

Carina has tried to help Maya, and she wouldn't let her in, but now that Maya is saying that she "can help her", Carina knows it wouldn't be enough.

And she knows that probably Maya wouldn't listen either, not when she's having psychotic breakdown, being convinced that she's fine, perfectly fit to go back to work.

That's why the 5150.

What Maya think is them taking control away from her, it's Carina doing everything in her power to protect her, taking over the control Maya has long lost.

When Maya brings up Andrew, we can see her face twist in pain, the memory and the accusation too raw to leave her unaffected.

But what Maya doesn't know is that she is Andrew, right now, but we, from outside, can see the similarities perfectly, even in their struggles.

So, when she sees Carina walking away, she panics.

"If you walk out that door, we're done."

It's supposed to be a threat, but Maya's voice betrays her.

She chokes on her words, on her tears, cracking up once again, letting us see how terrified she is.

But she doesn't want that, so she repeats that statement, her tone now angrier, but not in the slightest less scared.

And then Carina's words, the love behind them hitting like an uncontrollable force, crash against Maya's walls, destroying everything they find.

"I lose you either way, Bella. I'd rather lose you and have you be alive".

That is the most selfless act of love Carina could do in that moment.

Leaving Maya shatters her, Maya is her home and she's watching her collapse, but she knows that her arms aren't strong enough to put the pieces back together right now.

Maya needs help and Carina does too.

And by walking away, Carina is making sure that Maya isn't Andrew.

We know it's not, but she's probably still convinced it was her fault, that by letting him on that train, she failed him.

By believing that she could help him, that if she was there he would be okay, she probably thinks that she was delusional.

And what happened is that Andrew died.

He died and Carina is afraid that by doing the same with Maya, by being sure that she could make it work, that she could fix it, things would have inevitably ended the same.

So she walks out of the room.

She doesn't walk out on their marriage, or on Maya: she's taking a step back to let Maya realize that the help she needs right now is a work she needs to do herself.

She's also setting a boundary, something that she knows she needs to keep her own trauma at bay.

But Maya's screams are probably more haunting than any of the ghosts from her past.

I honestly can't choose what was the most painful thing to hear.

When Maya threw that threat at Carina, she was sure, so sure that she would have stayed that when Carina "left", she shattered, with no restraint. (Except from teddy's arms, lol)

The trembling, pleading, repeated "Carina", the "I can't -", with the hand grabbing at her neck, her strangled voice as she chokes on her own screams and tears, on the verge of a panic attack as we hear her monitor beeping uncontrollably.

The "how could you", screamed with such a raw pain that you have to listen to it more than once to actually catch all the nuances behind it.

She's screaming, crying, breaking down because Carina has left.

I honestly have a hard time believing how every person that has watched this scene, even just once, can think that Maya doesn't love her, or that she doesn't deserve her.

She's crumbling, piece after piece, cracking as the pain excruciatingly overflows out of her lungs, and people still have the courage to say she's mean, abusive and undeserving of love.

And I'm glad Carina proves you all wrong.

Because she stays.

Maya doesn't see her, and she could run, she could run away from Maya's gut wrenching screams, but she stays there, crying with her, as shattered as her.

And then she covers her ears.

And although it was an incredibly intelligent improvisation, it's not casual.

She covers her ears when Maya chokes out a "Get back here", because she can't deal with all this pain, she can't bear it, and hearing Maya asking for her to come back, agonizing, would probably be enough to make her walk back inside.

And now that Carina is no longer there, we can see that Maya's more lost than ever, hollow, nothing but a shell of a person.

But ironically enough, this gives me hope.

It gives me hope because we all know the extent of the issue now, everyone has caught up, or at least Carina has and Maya did too.

For how painful and emotionally heavy it was to witness, I'm positive that Carina walking away is the first step that needed to be taken to be able to walk towards change, and eventually, the light.

Now if you've made it so far, I'm honestly so sorry for you lol, but I really needed to get it off of my chest or it would have haunted me the same way Maya's screams have been replaying in my head🙃

This is my silly, personal opinion, nothing more: I don't want neither to impose my thoughts on others nor to tell you how to feel about stuff, and I'd love if this starts a conversation.

But there's one thing I'm gonna ask you, something I can no longer stand: stop hating on Maya.

By writing this post, I strongly hope you were able to understand why everything is happening, why she's reacting like that; I hope it gave you a new insight.

So stop with the mean comments, cause words won't hurt her (it's sad, I know, but she's a fictional character), but they will hurt people who read them and struggle with the same issues.

I'm usually not fazed by this stuff, let alone if said by people I don't know, but I can tell you that reading some of your comments, the lack of empathy and coherence of thought of some people had me feeling very discouraged.

I'm not telling you to love Maya, nor to like her.

I'm not telling you to excuse her behaviours.

I'm telling you to try and understand.

And if that's too hard for you, if you tried but you can't empathize with someone struggling with their mental issues, I'm kindly asking you not to choose hate, and trust me: your silence is way more respectful than your words.

It's as simple as that.

[writingwhimsey]

Married to The Enemy- Shingen Ch. 56

Chapter 56

Our time in the modern day was quickly coming to a close. We spent it enjoying our time, me showing Shingen around more and also spending time with my family and friends. We had about two weeks to go until the wormhole would appear to take us back home. I had successfully made it through the first trimester of my pregnancy and everything was still progressing nicely. We were confident that I would be just fine when we returned home.

I was even starting to show just a little bit. It was a small baby bump and could easily be mistaken for me having just gained weight. Of course, Shingen still found it to be adorable and would keep gushing over me and doting on me.

Today we were visiting with Oba-san. I was sitting with Oba-san at the kitchen table while Shingen worked on repairing some of Oba-san’s shelves in the living room. “So, I’ve been thinking about something.” Oba-san said.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Once you go back to Shingen’s time, you won’t be able to really come back and visit?” Oba-san asked.

“Not impossible, but hard yes.” I answered. “Why?”

“I was just thinking it would be a shame to miss out on the birth and life of my great grandchild. And getting to watch you as a mother.” Oba-san said.

I eyed her. “Are…”

“I’m coming back with you.” Oba-san said, smiling at me.

“You’re sure you really want to?” I asked her. 

Oba-san smiled. “Yes. I’ve already talked to your friend, Sasuke. He said it is no problem for me to follow along.”

“We’ll have plenty of room at the palace.”  Shingen said, coming into the room. “I’m certainly not telling my beloved’s grandmother she can’t come live with us.”

I smiled. “Well, I guess it’s all settled then.”

Oba-san nodded. “Yes it is. I’ve already got someone lined up to buy the house even.” She added. “I’m excited to see your new home and meet all of the other new people in your life.”

“I’m excited, too.” I replied. “And I’m glad you’re coming.”

Just then there was a knock on the front door. It opened and then Shoko was coming in, carrying Oba-san’s grocery delivery for the week. “Hey guys!” She greeted us.

“Hey Shoko.” I replied. I was then standing up. “Let me help you put those away.”

Oba-san was then getting up. “Hey, Shingen, did you finish those shelves?”

“Yes. Was there anything else you needed me to fix up?” He asked.

“If you wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course.” Shingen answered.

Oba-san was then leading Shingen to another room to fix something else, leaving me and Shoko alone in the kitchen. “So, how are you feeling?” Shoko asked me.

“Good.” I answered. “Still tired…and some food doesn’t appeal to me, but I haven’t surprisingly been feeling sick at all.”

Shoko nodded. “That’s good.” She replied. “So, two more weeks till you guys go back to Shingen’s home right?”

I nodded. “Yup. We mostly came here to get Shingen to the hospital and healed.”

“Well, when you go back, you had better text me and call me.” Shoko said. “I want pictures of that baby. Especially since you’re taking my adopted grandmother with you.”

“Wait, Oba-san already told you?” I asked.

“Yeah.” Shoko answered. “But promise me?”

I instantly felt guilty. I chewed my lower lip. “Shoko…”

Shoko smiled at me. “You don’t have to. Just promise me, you’ll live your life to the fullest and be happy.” She told me, pulling me into a hug. “And don’t you ever forget me.” 

I returned the hug. “Like I could ever forget you.”

Two weeks later…

Sasuke, Shingen, Oba-san, and I were gathered at the Hono-ji monument. We were dressed in the clothes we had arrived in. We had a few bags with some things we were taking back with us. Oba-san had a few things that she was bringing. We also had a bag full of prenatal vitamins and other such things.

“Are you ready to go back, my love?” Shingen asked me as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

I smiled up at him. “Yes. I kind of miss everyone and I’m ready to see them again. Not to mention…I have been a little worried about having to make poor Yukimura and Saki be the mediators with the alliance and all.”

Shingen chuckled. “I am sure they have been worn out, but it will be great to see them again.” He replied. “So, you really are looking forward to returning? You won’t miss this peaceful place?”

“I’m sure my pregnancy cravings will miss some of the food…and I will miss Shoko, but getting to spend the time with her these last few months has been good.” I replied. “And Oba-san is coming, too. But more than anything, I’m looking forward to the rest of our life together.”

Shingen smiled at me and kissed me gently on the lips. “As am I.” He said. He was then placing a hand over the gentle swell of my belly. “Raising our family together and growing old together.”

I returned his smile. “Yes.”

“I love how much you two love each other.” Oba-san said. 

“They are very sweet.” Sasuke agreed.

I felt my cheeks flushing. It was always so easy to forget the rest of the world when I was with Shingen. A few moments later, rain drops began to fall. Shingen put up our umbrella, while Sasuke held one up for him and Oba-san.

“You can hold onto me, Mrs. Shiba.” Sasuke told Oba-san.

“Oh, don’t mind if I do.” Oba-san said, a big grin on her face, as she wrapped her arms around one of his.

I couldn’t help but to laugh. “That’s my Oba-san.”

Shingen chuckled. “She’s going to make Yuki turn bright red.”

I giggled. “Oh yeah and Saki is gonna love her.”

The wind and rain picked up and soon lightning was streaking across the sky. It didn’t take much longer for it to strike nearby and soon the swirling gray mass that was the wormhole appeared. It grew bigger, getting closer and closer before swallowing us up.

All sight and sound disappeared. I held tighter to Shingen, that touch being the only way I was still aware of anything. Just as quickly as everything disappeared, it all came rushing back. We were standing in the garden outside the temple of Hono-ji.

“So…is this…” Oba-san asked, looking around.

“Yes, this is Hono-ji.” I answered.

“And it is the Sengoku.” Sasuke said.

Oba-san took in a deep breath. “The air is so clear and this garden is beautiful.”

“It looks like the sun will be setting soon.” Shingen said as he looked up at the sky. “We’ll get an inn for the night.”

“Probably the best bet.” Sasuke agreed. “I’ll start looking for travel back to Echigo.”

Shingen nodded.

“How did you guys travel here in the first place?” Oba-san asked. 

“Horses.” I answered.

Oba-san looked at me. “YOU rode on a horse?”

I laughed. “Well, I can yes…but typically I just ride with Shingen.” I answered, my cheeks reddening.

“You pick up a lot of skills here that you had never anticipated before.” Sasuke said. “But we can find a different mode of transportation that would be more comfortable for you, Mrs. Shiba.”

“I’d be fine on a horse. I actually used to go horse-back riding for exercise when I was a girl.” Oba-san answered. “I may be old, but I’m no frail little thing.”

“I see where you get your fire from.” Shingen told me, kissing my cheek. He put his hand over my belly. “I hope this little one has it, too.”

“If it’s a girl, she will.” Oba-san said. “That fire is exclusive to the Shiba women. That and these gorgeous green eyes.”

Shingen smiled. “Well, that sounds like something to look forward to.”

We soon left, heading into the city to find a place to stay for the night. We checked into an inn. One that had some delicious food and nice warm baths. I had enjoyed spending time in the modern day, but I was happy to be back home in the Sengoku and I couldn’t wait to see everyone again.

Taglist: @limonzu @zulablaise @oda-princess @tele86 @kisara-16 @lovely-bubb1es @selenacosmic @lucyw260

@bjorkshire-pudding @eventinelysplayground

[deceasedream69]

Y/N

Part 2 of Maeve or...

All I remember are little pieces.

I remember being tied next to Spencer's girlfriend. The poor lightning of the room, and the stink of it. I also remember bits of when the team came to our rescue. 

I remember Spencer speaking with our captor. I remember Maeve, a knife pointed at her throat... I remember when the unsub came up to me and press the button. I couldn't do or say anything, but I could very much see and hear everything. 

I remember the feeling of the dialudid coming through the needle and into my system. It was horrible, filling my mind with memories of my past, my mouth was dry and my head was spinning. 

But I specially remember Spencer running to untie me before saving Maeve, which honestly shocked me the most. I was specting to be left there until someone else from the team went to untie me. But it was Spencer. I could feel him hugging me while he tried to lift me so I wouldn't lay on the dirty floor. I remember feeling safe, until I couldn't remember anything else. 

- 

- "they said she's going to be ok, but she needs to rest", Hotch gave the good news to the whole team. I wanted to go check on Maeve but at the same time I wanted to delay what I knew was coming. I still had to check on her. So I nodded after recieving the information and headed to Maeve's house. Well, I had to shower and all of that before.

When I got there it was drizzling outside, so I closed my jacket a little more before knocking. I was wondering if she was still awake, giving that it was almost midnight. But either way I know how this situations can take your sleep away and sometimes you just need company to get through it all. 

She opened the door cautiosly, and when she noticed it was me she seemed more calmed, opening the door completely she let me in. 

- "hey, just wanted to check on you and see if everything's ok. I didn't see any doctor checking on you"

- "you were busy"

I could see she was upset. 

- "are you always awake at midnight... or do you..."

- "look, Spencer. I know you're here to try and help but... I'm fine, you should go and check on her at the hospital. Did she wake up already?"

I shook my head. 

- "why are you telling me to go with someone else when I want to be here with you"

- "because I know you'd rather be there with her"

- "what?"

- "I'm not blind, Spencer. I noticed it all. Every little part. You like her, and that's ok. She's beautiful and you get to see her everyday."

- "but..."

- "it's ok. I'm happy if you're happy. Besides, how can I not be happy, I don't have a stalker anymore"

I just stood silent. How come everyone knew who I like except for me. I mean, I always felt drawn to her, to speak with her, tell her unnecesary facts and just get to be around her, mostly because she was the only one listening, but we are coworkers, it's impossible. Besides, I don't think she likes me back, maybe that's why I tried to search for someone else. 

- "I can't apologize enough for what you've been through, Maeve. I want to make it up to you, so I brought you this"

- "Spencer..."

I got out of the apartment and in again. This time holding a heavy box. Putting it on the table, I ran my forearm through the top because it was a little wet from the rain outside. 

- "A little gift so you can forgive me and enjoy the days you rest after what happened"

- "Spencer, you shouldn't have..."

I just hugged her. She was an important part of my life and I'm just so thankful for it. Specially because she didn't get mad at me. 

I said my goodnight and left the apartment. It stopped raining but the floor was wet. I liked that feeling. I was thinking about Maeve's reaction when she opened the box. It was a box full of all of her favorite books that she told me couldn't afford. It was around 10 books so it wasn't that much but I hope she liked them very much. 

I thought about going back to the hospital but it was too late already to go, so I'd check on y/n tomorrow morning. 

- 

I woke up around 3am. I was a little confused at the beginning but then I heard the typical hospital noises. I sighed and tried to fall asleep again, but I couldn't. I had an amazing thirst, so I looked around me for some water, but nothing. I rolled my eyes. I didn't even know if I was allowed outside my room and I didn't know how to call for a nurse. 

I stood up slowly, noticing how the back of my hospital clothes were missing a big piece at the back. 

- "every movie ever warned me about this". I closed it with my hands while I walked slowly towards the door. "son of a bitch!", I screamed whispered. I didn't noticed the things connected into my arms and accidentally pulled one. Which hurted a lot and caused the liquid to start falling onto the floor. "shit shit shit, of course this happens to me", I said trying to grab the needle back to make it stop, but it didn't. 

I grabbed some buttons that were next to my bed and started to press them. Maybe this is what I should've done since the beginning. 

The nurse came rushing in and found me out of my bed, pressing the button with the needle dripping liquid on the floor. 

Of course she was very confused but after I explained what happened she angrily explained to me that I should always call the nurse or wait. So I smiled shyly and drank my water in silence. 

After she left I noticed my phone was on the nightstand right next to me. I turned it on and started to check through it. 

Thats when I noticed a few messages in Spencers chat. 

* in the chat*

- No, I died. Hell's actually pretty fun :D

But before you get all worried tomorrow, I'm not going to work tomorrow, I have this desease called "death"

- very funny

- wait, what are you doing up

- Planning on how to save you from hell

- didn't you hear the "it's actually pretty fun" part?

- fair

- you didn't answer my question

- how can you even text me from the hospital

- I have 4% of battery, so answer the question

- what are you doing up?

- was thirsty, made a mess at my room. I'm still thirsty actually, but I asked first

- you almost overdosed, it's very common, drink a lot of water

- I'm scared of the nurse

- why

- I'll tell you when you come to visit me

- who told you I'm going to go visit you?

- The fact that you went for me over Maeve

(I was so nervous to send that message but I wanted to see his reply)

- you better get some sleep

- I could say the same to you

- goodnight y/n

- no goodnight kiss? damn, goodnight Spence <3

*off chat*

I smiled and turned my phone off, I couldn't wait to see Spencer in the morning. 

[rosyl12620]

In Another Life BokuAka fan squeal

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor did I write the original book. This is just a fan squeal because the original made me cry so hard.

Akaashi stood on a pavement and looked up at the starry night sky. A few steps in front of him was a figure of a male taller than him. It was too dark to see the figure’s face.

“I found you,” he said.

Before Akaashi could react he jolted upwards in his bed.

“Another dream,” he mumbled to himself.

Akaashi had been having these weird dreams about snow, the hospital, and that person lately. The person always said these weird phrases like “I found you” or “you’re beautiful”.

Akaashi’s middle school friends hinted that maybe Akaashi was having dreams about his past life. Akaashi didn’t believe that.

Akaashi got out of bed and got ready for school. He couldn’t risk being late on his first day of high school because he was thinking about a mere dream.

Sighing, Akaashi grabbed his book bag, already organized and ready for his first day, and other other important school supplies. He pulled on his grey Fukurodani uniform and straightened his blue tie.

————————————————————————

After school, Akaashi made his way to the gym where the boys volleyball team was having tryouts.

As Akaashi stepped into the gym, he noticed the 2nd and 3rd years warming up and the rookies, like him, stretching on the sides of the court.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Look it’s another rookie!” a loud team member shouted as he spotted Akaashi.

Akaashi spun his head to find the person who had said it.

A tall boy with black and white hair wearing a Fukurodani boys volleyball club t-shirt stood a couple metres away from Akaashi.

The boy seemed familiar. For a second Akaashi thought that the boy was the same boy from his dreams but that was impossible. Akaashi had never met this boy, so why would he be dreaming of him?

Akaashi thought for a second that he’d been thinking so long that the boy would think he was ignoring him.

But the energetic boy was still happily waving at Akaashi. Akaashi gave a small wave and a slight smile back to him.

“I’m Bokuto Koutarou. I’m Fukurodani’s ace.” the boy said, stepping closer to Akaashi so that he didn’t need to yell to communicate with him.

“Nice to meet you Bokuto-san,” Akaashi answered, “My name is Akaashi Keiji.”

“That name seems familiar,” Bokuto blurted out.

Akaashi had been thinking the same thing about Bokuto. How strange.

Akaashi brushed it off, “Maybe you’ve met someone with a similar name.”

“Yeah. Probably,” Bokuto agreed.

————————————————————————

Over the next few days, while Akaashi was waiting for the team list to come out, Bokuto would keep in contact with Akaashi.

Occasionally visiting his class and texting Akaashi on a regular basis.

One day as Akaashi was walking to class he spotted Bokuto.

“Akaashi!” Bokuto shouted to his friend.

Akaashi smiled in acknowledgement, “Hello, Bokuto-san.”

“The team list has been posted! You’re playing as our setter!” Bokuto yelled excitedly.

Akaashi’s eyes widened.

“Really?” he asked, his voice filled with surprise, “I’m glad to be on a team with you.”

“Me too!” Bokuto said.

————————————————————————

Over the next few months, Akaashi grew to set often to Bokuto.

As Winter approached, Akaashi felt as though something was going to happen. He didn’t know what and why he felt that way though.

One day after school, Akaashi stepped out of the gym with Bokuto to find it was snowing.

“Akaashi?” Bokuto asked, “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not,” Akaashi answered.

But his hand quickly went to touch his cheeks to feel wet tears streaming down his face.

“I don’t know why,” Akaashi said.

He suddenly saw something in his mind that had never happened before. Him and Bokuto standing in front of a window and watching the snow. They both looked slightly older.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he saw Bokuto shiver.

“Are you cold, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi asked.

“A little,” Bokuto replied.

Akaashi took off his burgundy coloured scarf and handed it to Bokuto.

“Here,” Akaashi said, “You can wear my scarf and we’ll go to my house. It’s closer.”

Bokuto nodded, accepting the scarf, “Thanks Akaashi.”

When they got to Akaashi’s house, he put on a movie called Cloud Atlas and sat together on the couch with a baby blue blanket covering them.

After they finished the movie, Bokuto said, “I like the thought of knowing there’s another life after we die.”

At the mention of reincarnation, Akaashi remembered his dreams and the things his middle school friends told him.

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi started softly.

“Hm?” Bokuto asked in confusion.

“I think I knew you in my past life,” Akaashi said.

Bokuto was surprised for a second but recovered quickly.

“I think so too.”

“Huh?” Akaashi was taken aback at Bokuto’s response.

“I said I think so too,” Bokuto repeated, “I have these dreams and you’re always in them but what I dreamed of never happened in real life.”

“Me too,” Akaashi started to tear up, “Me too, Bokuto.”

“I found you, Akaashi.”

“Yes Bokuto, you found me.”

————————————————————————

That night Akaashi dreamed that he was looking up at a starry sky. Bokuto stood beside him.

But it didn’t look like Bokuto. He had his hair down and looked pale and sick.

“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi called out to him.

Bokuto turned and smiled at Akaashi. He noticed that he was clutching the burgundy scarf tightly in his hands.

“I told you we’d meet in another life,” Bokuto’s now weak voice said.

The scene changed and Akaashi’s dream took him to outside a hospital. It was cold and snowing. Akaashi was wearing his burgundy scarf.

“Bokuto-san?” Akaashi tried to find Bokuto.

But Bokuto was no longer there. Instead he was replaced by a cold snow.

Akaashi woke up with a jolt.

“In another life..” Akaashi mumbled the words Bokuto had said in his dream.

“This is the other life,” Akaashi said, trying to hold down his tears as more memories of Bokuto from his past life flooded his mind.

Akaashi couldn’t bear it anymore when the memory of Bokuto’s pale and lifeless body in the hospital flashed across his brain. The tears spilled out of Akaashi’s eyes.

“You found me, Koutarou. You found me in the other life.”

[winterwriterstudios]

Jamil, ranting to Ahissha: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Kalim, Celine, Ruggie, and Ranadi: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

(Their whole dynamic, sometimes. BTW. Celine, Ranadi and Ahissha are my ocs and this is gonna be oc x canon (platonic, mostly imo, but there are some romantic ones) so be warned.)

.

Ruggie: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog… Ahissha: What’s updog? Ruggie: Jamil! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

(their dynamic in a nutshell)

.

Ranadi, in the hospital: Will you visit me when I get out? Ruggie: Lol nah, I hate graveyards.

(they lowkey hate each other fr fr)

.

Jamil: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means! Kalim: I get to eat as many Skittles as I want? Jamil: What? No! What has Celine been telling you? Celine, walking in, pouring Skittles into her mouth: Taste the rainbow, bitch.

.

Kalim: How would you like your coffee? Ranadi + Jamil: As dark and as bitter as our souls. Kalim, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need two vanilla lattes with extra cream and sugar!

(Sadly, Kalim grew up w/ BOTH of them. Smh. Imagine being childhood friends w/ both Jafar and Mozenrath)

.

Kalim: *working in a flower shop and minding his own business* Ranadi, storming into the store and slapping $20 on the counter: HOW DO I PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVELY SAY “FUCK YOU” IN FLOWER???

(how they'd meet in a different au.)

.

Jamil: My bad, It’s a knee jerk response. Ranadi, holding Kalim's unconscious body: WHOSE KNEE JERK RESPONSE IS TO START THROWING BRICKS AT SOMEONE???

.

Jamil: So, Ranadi and Celine. Jamil: According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto… Ranadi: We had a bad day. Jamil: And… MURDER?! Celine: It was a pretty bad day…

(partners in crime. Well, the rich kid who doesn't break a sweat and hires the actual criminal.)

.

Ranadi: Kalim, why are you crying? Kalim: This book is so sad!! Ranadi, picking it up: But this is my diary-

.

Ranadi: This is Celine, she's… not my assistant, some other word. Celine: I’m her carer. Ranadi: Yeah, my carer. She cares so I don’t have to.

.

Kalim: Wanna hear some dark humor? Jamil: Yeah, I love dark humor. Kalim: Alright. Kalim: *Turns off the lights* Kalim: Knock knock. Jamil: Turn the damn lights back on.

.

Ruggie: How do you know even how to kiss? Like who teaches you? Celine: Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now. Celine: Would you like me to tutor you? Ranadi: That was smooth.

.

Jamil: What do you call disobeying the law? Ruggie + Celine: A hobby. Jamil: *crosses his arms* Ruggie + Celine: That we do not engage in. Jamil: *cocks an eyebrow* Ruggie + Celine: Often.

.

Ahissha: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter A. Jamil: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Ranadi: Fuck you.

(there are two kinds of sorcerers of the sands.)

.

Ruggie: I dare you- Jamil: Kalim is not allowed to accept dares anymore. Ruggie: Why not? Kalim: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

.

Ahissha: Is Jamil always like this when he loses? Ranadi: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Jamil: You bumped that table and you know it!

(they go way back.)

.

Ahissha: Hi. Celine: Hey, did you do what I said? Did you tell him? Ahissha: I did. Celine: And what did he say? Ahissha: “Thank you.” Celine: You’re totally welcome. What’d he say? Ahissha: He said, “Thank you.” I said “I love you” and Jamil said, “Thank you.”

.

Kalim: What’s the dumbest thing you believed as a child? Celine: That naptime was a punishment.

.

Jamil: Die. Ahissha: Please don't die! Jamil: DIE! Ahissha: PLEASE DON'T DIE! Kalim, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant? Ruggie, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Ahissha wants Jamil to accept it as their kid.

.

Celine: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out! Ruggie: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way? Celine: I don't know, surprise me!

.

Ahissha: Jamil, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor. Jamil: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

.

Ruggie: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness— Celine: Hi. Ruggie: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

.

Kalim + Ahissha: We’re going to defeat you with the power of friendship! The Squad: We’re not friends. Kalim: :( Ahissha, holding an axe: We’re going to defeat you with the power of incredible violence.

.

Ruggie: Can we talk? One 10 to another? Ranadi: I’m an 11, but continue.

.

Ruggie: You call yourself my soulmate, but where were you when my meme only had four likes? Celine: Making four accounts. Ruggie, tearing up: Really...?

.

Kalim: Where is Ranadi? Ruggie: I'll do you one better, who is Ranadi?? Celine: Here's a better question, why is Ranadi?

.

Jamil: Kalim would never say his fiancee is a bitch and he hates her. He would be lying. Ranadi is a bitch, but he loves her.

(Arranged marriage trope say what?)

.

Kalim: Do you feel any better? Ranadi: I feel much better now that you here with me. *Ruggie walks in* Ranadi: I feel half better.

.

Kalim: You have to apologize to them Ranadi. Ranadi: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

.

Ruggie: Team A will consist of myself, Celine, Jamil, Ahissha and Kalim. Ruggie: Team B will consist of Ranadi.

.

Kalim: So what do you have planned for the future? Ruggie: Lunch. Kalim: No, like long term. Ruggie: Oh...um, dinner?

.

Ranadi: You're alive. Ruggie: There's no need to sound so disappointed.

(them hating on each other is so real. like it fuels me. the only reason they ever interact is because of Celine, Kalim or Ahissha. Jamil knows better.)

.

Celine: What the hell is wrong with you? Jamil: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

.

*How the Squad reacts to insults*

Ahissha: *changes personalities quicker than you can blink. insulter is either emotionally or mentally injured/bruised/scarred*

Celine: *cleanly insults back. only at 3am does the insulter finally understand the insult and is left feeling humiliated for the rest of the day*

Jamil: *pretends like it doesn't bother him. insulter gets a nice shot of 'karma' though, by SOME random coincidence.*

Kalim: *doesn't get it, majority of the time. when he does get it, he feels sorry for the insulter, thinking he did soething wrong and buys gifts to make it up to them*

Ranadi: *their parents are now jobless. their house got repossessed. they are kicked out of the school. they now have zero followers on all social media. oh, and their report card now shows all Fs.* :)

Ruggie: *laughs it off. will see them drowning and not gaf. maybe charge them 200% extra*