#but i also shouldn't leave it too long. so sometime this weekend feels right (even though I'm busy)

[welcometogrouchland]

I have had a million important things happen this week w/ more to come (got 5 college offers, get to be interviewed on local radio, have to meet the mayor for the third(?) time this year, get to attend a film pitch, etc) and I can't appreciate any of it because I am just so scared of an email I have to send

[neptuneiris]

cardigan (epilogue) (2/2)

and I knew you'd come back to me, you'd come back to me

pairing: modern!aemond × best friend reader!

summary: being in love with your best friend since high school becomes a strong and unavoidable feeling. until it starts to become more difficult when you get to college and the two of you, especially him, meet new people.

word count: 9.9k

previous part •

thank you so much to all those beautiful people who read this story, it meant a lot to me all those comments full of love and emotion to read each chapter. i'm so sad that it's over, but you will always have the story here to read it whenever you want to.

we'll see you in the next stories, for now we'll give a moment to the end of cardigan, where i'll be anxious to read your opinions. again, thanks for everything, you guys are amazing!

"Can you give me some time, please?"

You had asked him that day, that day with tears still in your eyes and still hugging him, to which he had lowered his gaze to look at you, his gaze soft and understanding, nodding at the instant you asked him.

And you had explained your reasons.

"I-I need to think, Aemond. I-I don't know if I can... do-this... right now. I-I just... "you bite your lips, nervous and embarrassed, "I need some time, I-I need....

"Yes, of course," he assures you softly, "You don't need to ask me, you take it. Do what you think you need to do, I won't pressure you. I will respect your space and each of the decisions you make when you are ready, whatever they are, all right?" he observes you honestly, "Don't worry about me. Take all the time you need."

You nodded in his direction, thanking him with your gaze, to which he had left a soft kiss on your forehead and finally separates from you.

After that, it doesn't take him long to leave your room, to which you had closed your door, watching him walk away down the hallway, feeling something in your chest, a feeling you didn't know exactly what it was.

And he had felt it too as he walked away.

And still surprised and with a bewildered expression in your gaze, that day you still hadn't processed one hundred percent of everything that had happened.

That day you lay on your bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time, thinking about everything and at the same time about nothing. Until eventually you fell asleep.

And now three months have passed.

Three months have passed since the time Aemond showed up by surprise in your room once you came back from Highgarden and you both confessed your true feelings for each other.

Three months since you asked him for time and to this day you haven't seen him or talked to him again.

You still have him blocked from all your social media, so neither of you know what each other is doing, however, you both know that you are either for Helaena or for Aegon.

And as he promised, he hasn't been looking for you again, hasn't pressured you, and has given you your space. And you have also complied with clarifying your ideas and your feelings, what you really want and what is best for you.

However, you are still not done with that matter of yours.

You still have some thoughts here and there, also some mixed feelings and indecisions.

But it's not the only thing you think about, sometimes you can't even think about it because of college, your internship here at King's Landing and also because of your job at the boutique.

Fortunately you've been hired at the boutique that Helaena told you about and everything has been more than fine in your life in those two fields of school and financially.

But you still think about Aemond and the current situation with him.

You thought about asking someone for advice, your friends and even Helaena, but honestly... you want to make this decision by yourself, without anyone else's opinions about what you should or shouldn't do.

You would ask for advice if you didn't know what to do, but you are considering all points, the before and the now.

Until an extended weekend arrives with Monday and Tuesday off for holidays, so you have more time to think about him and yourself.

Your friends invite you to go out partying considering there will be a lot of them at the frat houses for the long weekend but you're not in the mood, plus you know he'll probably be there.

But once talking to Helaena when you went for coffee together, she herself told you that Aemond has been going more on the weekends to his parents' house.

And you're not avoiding him, in fact you've seen him a few times on campus, obviously because that platinum hair is so easy to spot. He hasn't seen you but every time you see him... it disturbs your thoughts a little.

That's why you'd rather not see him.

When on a Saturday afternoon, you head to your room with a basket of clean clothes coming from the laundry, you open the door and Vhagar watches you comfortably between your pillows start to hang the clean clothes in your closet.

And once you're done, you sit on your bed, grab your phone and go to Facebook, when the first post you see is from the weather in King's Landing, warning that a horrible storm will hit tonight and will last until Sunday afternoon, so they ask for precautions to all the population.

You quickly pull aside the curtain of your window and in the distance you see some black and gray clouds approaching, causing you to shiver.

When just at that moment, you get a message and when you look at the screen, you see that it's Aegon.

Egg🥚: hey little demon

Egg🥚: tomorrow we're going to dinner, hel, daeron and jace

Egg🥚: you know who isn't coming so what do you say 👀?

You watch the messages for a few seconds without replying and doing nothing, just watching them and nothing else.

And you don't know why but reading the "you know who" made you feel something in your chest, something that you don't even know, but that makes you feel and makes you think more about him.

You look around your room, remembering just how everything happened here, the last time you saw each other and everything you talked about. His feelings and how you reacted.

Again that strange feeling gets stronger in your chest, a pleasant but sharp pain that runs through your whole body and is… inexplicable.

And suddenly… you feel a need.

You look again through your window at the horrible storm that will start in a couple more hours and let out a long breath, pursing your lips.

Afterwards, you don't really know what's wrong with you, but at half past seven in the evening and only with hope and Vhagar in your arms you get out of the Uber and head to quickly enter the huge building.

The wind has already reached the city, a strong one announcing that it will rain soon.

Your hair is flying in all directions, Vhagar is fidgeting in your arms and as you cross the doors of the building, you are finally okay but through the windows you see all that wind and some lightning reflecting.

The sky is already getting completely dark and you hear some thunder in the distance, all of it approaching.

You hug Vhagar and head for the elevator, again with that hope and longing.

Or otherwise… you'll have come all this way for nothing.

Soon enough you ring the bell, as you cuddle Vhagar and wait impatiently, worried that you'll probably stay out here since you can't go back to your dorm in this weather.

Uber fares go up considerably high because of the rain. And considering it's a storm… you'd have to stay here or at the reception of the building.

You let out a long breath, waiting. When at that moment a loud clap of thunder rumbles through the entire building, tensing you up and causing you to freeze in fear.

Vhagar stirs frightened in your arms and you hold her tighter against you, caressing her, swallowing hard and looking at the door with a hopeful and suffering face at the same time, beginning to despair.

You don't like to be alone when this kind of weather happens.

Then to your enormous good fortune, the door opens and again after a long three months you are face to face with Aemond.

The surprise is more than evident on his face when he sees you, clearly not expecting it to be you, now with the roles reversing as you are the one looking for him after months.

And you smile a little in his direction, though it's not entirely genuine because of the nervousness of being in front of him again and also because of the storm out there.

As Aemond watches you with his lips parted, his gaze lit up and wearing comfortable clothes, a white t-shirt and gray pants.

"Y/N?"

Vhagar stirs fully in your arms, watching Aemond intently, as you hold her tighter and swallow hard, watching him with some sorrow and also hope.

"I'm sorry," you stir nervously, lowering your gaze, "I-I had to come and….

You bite your lips, as Aemond takes a step towards you, hopeful, but still very surprised that you are here. And when you again raise your gaze to him, you both stare at each other for a few seconds without saying anything, with a look of hope.

His lilac eye watches you again with that glow while his beautiful sapphire shines and sparkles completely in your direction. That sapphire you love so much.

He doesn't seem to intend to send you away, not at all, not with the storm out there and if there wasn't, he still wouldn't have done it.

He wouldn't let you go a second time, not in his greatest madness.

That's why you light that spark of hope in him again, watching you intently and with complete adoration, even though he hasn't sung victory yet.

And you finally finish your sentence by watching him with a look of hope and affection at the same time.

"And I just hate storms."

Aemond places a small closed-mouth smile, one barely visible, then fully opens his door and allows you to pass through.

"I know."

Is what he says to you so that you then enter the apartment.

You set Vhagar down on the floor and realize that nothing has changed as everything remains exactly the same. As Aemond watches you behind you, cautious to take his distance as he doesn't want to ruin this, to then hold Vhagar in his arms.

And then it's as if you both go back in time.

"Would you like a cup of coffee or something to eat?"

He offers you in a soft voice, as your gaze focuses on the huge windows, watching as the rain hits the glass hard and lightning illuminates some parts inside the apartment.

And you turn to him.

"Yes," you nod, "Coffee would be nice."

Aemond nods to then go down to Vhagar, but first quickly goes to close the curtains, since he knows you don't even like to look when it rains so brutally.

Then he makes you comfortable in what used to be your home too.

You take a seat on the stool at the table while he starts getting everything ready and that's when you both again start catching up after the three months.

You thought it would be awkward and weird, but it's not.

He's clearly happy that you're here and you feel the same way about the two of you now being in each other's company.

The conversation makes you forget a bit about the weather, even though you hear some thunder, but Aemond distracts you by asking or telling you something, pouring you a cup of coffee and offering you some sweet bread as well.

There really isn't much to catch up on, but you have a very good and pleasant time, finally feeling at ease being with him.

As the night begins to grow late and Aemond takes you to your room, because for him it has never stopped being your room.

When you open the door, everything is just as you left it the last time. Everything is empty, there are only the unoccupied furniture, the lamps on each one, the empty desk and also the bed with the sheets and pillows that have not been used by anyone since you left.

"I'll get you a T-shirt and some socks, so you can sleep comfortably."

You look at him and nod, watching him gratefully.

"Yes, thank you. I-I know I should have brought my clothes, but…

"No, it's fine," he assures you instantly, "No problem."

And he walks away down the hallway toward the door to his room as you watch him then go inside, take a seat on the bed and look around the room for a few more moments.

You felt so strange when you left this room and saw it this empty last time. And now you feel the same way.

When he soon returns with his clothes and hands them to you.

"Here you go."

"Thank you, Aemond."

He nods to you and then scratches the back of his neck, which he does out of nervousness, watching you, suddenly having an impulse, wanting to say something to you.

But he controls himself, again telling himself that he mustn't fuck this up, that he mustn't scare you. So he starts to leave the room.

"I'll be in my room if you need anything."

"Yes," you murmur, "Thank you."

"It's nothing," he smiles softly at you, "good night."

"Good night."

And he closes the door.

It's only a matter of time before you're covered with the sheets, with Vhagar sleeping with you, watching the rain through part of the window with the curtain open, lowering your gaze to place your nose in the collar of Aemond's shirt you're wearing so you can breathe in more of the detergent and clean smell of him.

You can't sleep.

The sound of the rain doesn't leave you, neither does the lightning that reflects from time to time, much less some thunder that is not constant, but when you hear it, it makes you tense up and gives you chills.

You know you're not alone, but you still can't.

So you try one more time. But unconsciously your eyes stay open and you tremble with fear when the thunder is louder this time and the lightning longer and more constant.

Everything is like a horror movie for you.

You really hate and are terrified of storms.

Unable to stand it any longer, you stir to get up, to which Vhagar does so too, watching you intently, she too watching the window for the sound of the rain and the strong wind, probably just as terrified as you are.

Undecided, you go back to watching the window sitting on the bed and bite your lips, telling yourself that what you want to do is not bad and that it is just what you want after so long thinking about it.

When a huge, loud, horrible thunder rumbles throughout the building and probably all of Kings Landing.

You tense up and become completely paralyzed with fear, also the thunder makes Vhagar bark in fear, while you feel the uncontrollable urge to cry, because it terrifies you and does not let you sleep.

You get up with Vhagar in your arms, definitely not taking it anymore and as you try to move forward to get out of bed, your feet collide with something.

You lower your confused gaze, stopping, seeing how there is a medium sized box sticking out a bit from under the bed, as if it had been stored there.

Confused and curious, despite the horrible storm out there, you gently set Vhagar back down on the bed and bend down to pull the box out and pick it up.

Cautiously, you think to yourself that maybe it must be something of Aemond's, something he wanted to keep here and you know you shouldn't snoop around because it's his stuff and this is his room since you left.

But you ask yourself; why keep something right here? Why not in his room?

With everything he has told you and if he really felt bad about you leaving here, maybe he couldn't even bear to see this room without your stuff being here.

That's how you would have felt.

When you then look at the box, in the center of the lid you see how there is a white folded card. You frown, slowly open it and read:

For my best friend, the best of all.

Happy birthday my pretty one. Thank you for always being there for me, even though many times I don't deserve you. I love you, now and always.

You stand completely frozen, staring at the card in surprise and bewilderment, only to look at the box in your hands that is actually your birthday present.

The gift he was never able to give you.

Months have passed and yet it's like it happened yesterday. And you've moved on. But Aemond isn't.

Maybe in all this time remorse was eating him alive, knowing perfectly well that your present is under your bed, in the room that was once yours. Thinking that day must have been very special and that he must have been there for you.

However, nothing was like that.

That's why he placed it here, because he couldn't bear to see it, just the same way he couldn't even bear to see the door to this room every time he walked through the hallway.

You're surprised that he didn't get rid of your gift, but still, unable to cope with curiosity and with a strong, sharp feeling in your chest, you dare and open the box.

And the first thing you see are old photos of the two of you together.

You delicately take the first picture, a photo of you both in high school, where you smile with utmost happiness and he makes a funny face next to you.

You smile a little, remembering that day just as if it was yesterday.

This is the first picture you both took together after you both started spending more time together in school and then became best friends.

He didn't even want to take a picture with you, he said he didn't like them, but you convinced him and then over time he didn't deny you any picture you wanted to take of him or both of you together.

The next picture is both of you in his car, both eating ice cream, where earlier he had warned you that if you dropped ice cream on his baby, his car obviously, you would have to wash it yourself and everything, not just the inside.

Then the next picture is both of you at school with a bunch of friends from back then, friends of his more than anything, but he and you are in the middle of everyone, hugging and smiling.

And so continually there are more photos of the two of you, especially together on your relatives' birthdays, there's even one of the two of you with your parents.

You planned a little trip to visit your parents because you missed them so much and Aemond in an instant wanted to join you.

You didn't want to bother him, but he assured you that he was no bother at all and the moment your parents finally met him, they loved him completely and he loved them too.

Another photo is him at the amusement park, smiling at you, and then another one he took of you, also smiling with a cotton candy.

And at the end are the pictures you took together at his family's balls at Dragonstone, both of you smiling, him in his suit and you in your more than ideal and perfect dress for that night.

He has the color of his tie the same color as your dress in each photo, going through the years, both of you together and in different colors of ties and dresses.

There are also photos of the two of you here in the apartment, together, smiling and happy, to which you smile too, looking at the photos with a lot of feeling, tears starting to form in your eyes.

And you realize the different meaning these photos would have had, if the two of you had confessed your feelings to each other from the beginning.

And that's what gives you the most feeling… the time lost and how wrong the two of you were about each other.

You sniffle, not letting the tears run down your cheeks, realizing that there is something else in the background that was covered by the pictures.

You take another but smaller box in your hand, a small black and velvet box.

Not having the slightest idea what it could be, you swallow hard and open it, instantly the slight surprise reflecting in your gaze as you see what's inside.

A beautiful silver necklace with a drop-shaped pendant of a blue sapphire… a blue sapphire just the same color as the one he has in his eye.

Incredulous, starting to breathe a little faster, you look at it in complete surprise, realizing what he would have given you at the time as a gift.

But you don't even know if you would have accepted it. You know that this must have cost him a lot.

And even though you know that money is no issue for him, it still seems too much for you because it's a real sapphire, just like the one in his eye.

You tilt your head to the side, feeling like you really want to cry now, but then a few words on a small letter underneath the necklace catch your eye.

An important part of me for you,

A vulnerable part of me that has been placed in good hands with you, my soulmate. A part that I have learned to overcome and a pain that thanks to you, has turned into something beautiful. You are special to me.

You are pure magic, my beautiful pretty one.

That's when you lose it again completely. And you start to cry uncontrollably.

You try not to make your sobs so loud, especially since Aemond's room is right next door, but you doubt that he can hear you with all the horrible sound of the storm outside.

You gently run your index finger over the precious sapphire and read his words over and over again.

My soulmate.

He has written to you… but back then it would have meant soulmates in a friendship. But now considering the truth, he always thought differently and has always been that way.

You wonder what you would have done at that moment if he had spent your birthday with you, maybe in sorrow you would have refused this expensive gift, but in the end you know he would have convinced you one way or another.

When at that moment, again a huge, terrifying and loud thunder makes you terribly scared.

Vhagar again barks, frightened and trying to find your touch.

You wipe your tears and leave the gift on the bed, then take Vhagar in your arms and leave the room, heading towards Aemond's room.

At first you think about knocking, but again another clap of thunder, not so loud this time but still frightening, makes you simply open his door.

Instantly you think he is asleep, but the reality is that he has been as awake as you have been all this time.

And with his back to you, he turns to you as he hears the faint sound of his door opening and also draws your attention as the light from the hallway slowly enters his darkened room.

"Y/N?"

You are relieved to realize that he was not asleep, as he looks at you a little confused, beginning to sit up, watching you carefully.

In other circumstances he would not have understood you, but by the expression in your face in an instant he knows because of the horrible storm accompanied by the loud and terrifying thunder outside.

You are about to explain yourself, but as you stand there watching him, remembering all that he told you and explained, even though you are more than aware of the beautiful gift he was destined to give you, you realize that you can't find the words to speak.

Much less when out there the storm seems to intensify, increasing your anxiety and your fear, calling for your attention.

But he has his full attention on you.

So simply acting on impulse and that same need you felt hours earlier in your dorm, deciding to come here by finally making a decision, you head towards him.

You leave Vhagar on his bed, walk around the bed to get to the right side as he watches you intently without saying anything to you and you lie down next to him.

And the two of you simply say nothing.

Aemond settles back into the same position he was in before, while you cover yourself with the sheets that have that unique, clean, fresh smell of his.

Then you move closer to him, snuggling up next to him, draping one of your arms across his stomach and placing your head on his chest, as he gladly welcomes you and locks you in his arms.

And again neither of you say anything. Because there is no need to say anything.

Simply the actions speak for themselves, Aemond realizing that you have already made your decision, a decision that fills him completely and makes him a happy man, finally.

Because you are trusting him again completely, giving him your heart in his hands. And for that he feels privileged.

And in that moment he makes a promise to himself, and that is that he will not fuck this up again, he will not hurt you again, because this is all he has ever wanted.

And the first thing he will do is to prove everything to you with actions and not with words, words and promises that were worthless before, but now… now things are different.

Now they are without Alys in the middle and without his immaturity holding him back anymore.

And what you need from him is this, to feel his closeness, his presence, just the way you are now, hugging and now feeling so much better to get through this horrible storm.

Vhagar settles between both of your legs, to which Aemond smiles tight-mouthed, resting his head more against yours, running his fingers gently down your back, over his shirt, sending shivers but comfort throughout your body.

You move your face closer to him, hiding your face between his chest and neck, inhaling the comforting scent of his clothes and hair, making you smile a little softly.

You have never been in such an intimate position with him before, not even in your times of friendship, because you were afraid that if you started doing this, he would notice.

But now… you realize that this is all you've ever wanted.

When suddenly another huge thunderclap makes you startle in fright and hide your face further into his neck, but Aemond quickly pulls you tighter against him, covering you and protecting you from everything.

"Shh," he murmurs softly in your ear, stroking your back, "Easy, my pretty one. It's okay, I've got you."

And his words couldn't have comforted you more.

Especially since he then turns his face slightly towards yours and begins to leave soft, tender kisses all over your cheek, making butterflies appear in your stomach.

He doesn't go any further, fearing to scare you, when the reality is that you had long desired this. But you don't make him go any further either, this being enough and perfect.

"I love you so much," he murmurs sincerely and lovingly in your ear, "You don't know how much I had wanted this, Y/N."

You smile softly against her cheek and neck, gently stroking her hair with your right hand.

"Me too," you murmur," And I love you too, Aemond."

And there it is… finally. The first I love you from both of you.

Aemond had already told you, that's why you reacted the way you reacted, but now hearing those words come from you only makes him feel more alive and realize that this is real.

With you in his arms and Vhagar asleep in his legs, he knows this is real.

Inevitably, now he is the one who feels the urge to cry, your "I love you" filling him completely and making a tear escape from his eye, feeling very happy but at the same time very afraid of losing you again for a silly thing.

Only he knows how much he suffered when you left and their friendship ended, that now he doesn't even want to make the slightest mistake, because he doesn't want to and wouldn't bear to lose you again.

"I'm not going to fuck this up again, Y/N."

He tells you with a slight tremor in his voice, calling your attention, without ceasing to caress his hair, especially at the moment when you feel something wet fall on your shoulder, being his tear.

"I don't want to lose you again, not with more words and empty promises. No, I-I want to make this right, I want you to be with me, I want to deserve you, to be worth it to you. And I'm going to prove that to you."

You open your eyes slowly, not really being able to see anything, only the shape of his face covering half of your view, while the rest is the room, watching the lightning reflecting from time to time.

You let out a long breath, continuing to run your hand through his hair, then gently lift your face towards him, without pulling away from the embrace, wanting to look at him face to face.

And you are right the moment you see the wet path of his tear running down his cheek and his eye slightly red as he looks back at you.

And he lets you see it, lets you see his vulnerability and how terribly honest he's being with you right now. And you believe him. You really do.

You raise your hand and place your thumb on his cheek, wiping away the trace of moisture gently, watching him lovingly and in understanding, then nod, letting him know it's okay.

Then you are the one who starts stroking his hair back as you lean a little closer to him and start leaving soft kisses on his right cheek while caressing his left cheek with your hand.

He leans closer to you, closing his eye and letting himself be carried away by the feeling of your caresses, holding you tighter against him, not wanting to let you go and wanting to feel you as close as possible.

This is comforting for both you and him, but he has always wanted this, always longed for this and now that he is receiving it, it feels like a dream.

And he loves this. He loves that he has you and that everything is finally all right, despite the terrible storm out there.

But the storm was the main reason you're both here now so… he doesn't know whether to be grateful for that or hate the storm as much as you hate it for scaring you and keeping you awake at night.

Then again it's you who dares and leaves a soft kiss on his lips that takes him completely unaware and he opens his eye to watch you intently and slightly surprised.

But before the two of you, especially you, can process it, you watch him with some fear, hope, fondness and need.

"We won't go through the same thing again as before, will we?"

You ask him in fear and his gaze contracts in understanding and concern for your worry.

"We will talk and consult each other about anything that worries us. We won't be led by anything or anyone without asking each other first… right?" you look at him a little more serious, but still concerned, "There won't be anyone else in the way anymore."

Aemond watches you for a few seconds in silence, observing you or rather admiring you gently, completely understanding this concern of yours.

And if he were you, honestly he too would be worried about the same thing considering everything that happened between you.

"Right."

He assures you afterwards with a sigh, bringing one of his hands to a lock of your hair, placing it behind your ear, then caressing your cheek watching you with adoration and then placing his fingers on your chin.

"We're going to do this right," he assures you, "I'm going to do this right."

"You promise?"

"I promise," he assures you again in an instant, "I'll never get another chance with you if I screw up again, I know that and that's why…now that I finally have you, I don't intend to let you go. Not until you decide so."

You smile softly in his direction, your gaze full of affection and adoration, thinking about how much you love him and how perfect this feels, this thing you've wanted for years, being the same thing he wanted and feels too.

Your lips are almost touching and having no intention of separating because you want to feel the closeness of the two of you, his words filling you up.

"So this is official now?"

You ask him with some amusement in your gaze but equally excited, trying to keep yourself from smiling big and looking like a silly little girl in love.

"I've waited too long already, Y/N. I don't want to waste any more time. But I'll understand if you still don't want us to take this any further," he lets you know, "Just because you've already made up your mind and taken some time doesn't mean you can't take more to clear your head if that's what you need. I'll still keep waiting for you until you're ready."

He tells you so honestly and with such determination that your heart melts with affection.

And more so because he continues to look at you as the most precious thing to him in the whole world, really not wanting to scare you away from the matters of a relationship so soon, but he wants to be honest with you from the beginning.

And you appreciate that, because you know how terribly serious this is both for him and for you….. finally.

"No, I-I…" you nod slightly and smile a little, "I want this too."

He watches you intently and with all the fondness in his gaze.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes… yes, I-I… this is all I've ever wanted" you sigh, "I don't want to waste any more time either. I just want everything to be okay now and for us not to go through what we went through last time. I want us to talk and be there for each other."

He nods slightly, understanding, smiling.

"That's how it will be my pretty one, you'll see."

So now it is he who makes with his fingers on your chin to bring your face closer to him and kisses you.

He really kisses you.

You let yourself be completely carried away by the movement of his lips and you move closer to him, letting all your weight fall on top of him, kissing him as softly and affectionately as he kisses you, it being a kiss not at all hurried but deep and full of feelings.

He kisses you so sweet and so soft, treating you as if you were made of glass.

He then places both of his hands on your waist, embracing you and pulling you tighter against him, while you place your hands on his cheeks, both kissing without separating an inch.

And now all you can hear is still the sound of rain and thunder outside, along with the sound of your mouths moving, both of you clinging to each other.

The two of you finally feeling complete as you share your first kiss.

"Fuck," he sighs into your lips, completely delighted by your lips and your closeness, "I love you…so much."

He tells you in between kisses to then caress his lips with yours again in a desperate, deep movement, making you smile and giggle a little, pulling you apart a little to again leave steady kisses down his cheeks, his nose and again kiss his lips.

"I love you too."

And again you resume the long, lingering kiss, not meaning anything else, just being about the first innocent kiss… for now.

All they both need now is to feel that closeness and affection for each other. And that's exactly what they do, until they eventually fall asleep.

The next morning, neither you nor Aemond get out of bed.

With the weather completely cloudy as a result of last night's storm, the mood is to stay in bed and stay there all day. And that's exactly what you both do.

It is Aemond who wakes up first, with you in his arms, your face buried in his neck and your arms around his body, while Vhagar sleeps in both of your legs more than comfortably.

He smiles at the sight, more than pleased and more than happy, not needing anything else for this day and definitely not needing more in his life than this… you.

You the person he wants to spend the rest of his days with if possible, with Vhagar accompanying you at every step, the mere thought making him smile and yearn like an idiot.

Then he carefully removes you from his body, which fortunately you don't wake up to because you are not used to going to sleep late and waking up early the next day like he is.

Vhagar doesn't wake up either, which he also appreciates and as soon as he gets out of bed, he quickly covers you with his sheets, making sure you're okay, and then leaves a kiss on your neck and forehead.

He also caresses and leaves kisses on Vhagar's head before heading to his bathroom to take a shower.

And by the time he finishes, you are still asleep, but Vhagar wakes up and he takes her in his arms to go together to the kitchen to make breakfast.

The whole time he's cooking he can't stop grinning like an idiot, thinking about last night and also happy with the thought that you're here with him, right now sleeping in his bed, the two of you finally together.

And he knows it's real as he paces back and forth in the kitchen with Vhagar lying on the floor, watching him, making him smile and feeding her every moment he sees her, not resisting.

As he is about to finish cooking, he feels small hands and arms wrap around his back completely, making him smile like an idiot again, more if possible, instantly placing his hands above yours on his chest.

He feels you drop your head on his back, needing his touch, just what he needs from you as well.

"Good morning, my pretty one."

"Good morning," you say back to him with your voice hoarser and still sleepy.

He laughs and turns to you, holding you in his arms, instantly embracing you as you cling completely to him. And he leaves kisses on your cheek and in your hair.

"How did you sleep?"

You let out a long breath.

"Very well until I woke up and you weren't next to me."

He smiles, pulling you closer to him.

"Don't worry, we'll have more mornings together where you'll wake up and I'll be right next to you, I promise," he leaves a kiss on your forehead, "Now… do you want breakfast? I made pancakes."

You raise your gaze to him, watching him with all the adoration in the world with a small smile, then nod.

"Okey," he leans in and leaves a soft kiss on your lips, "Give me a few minutes, I'll serve everything."

"I'll help you."

The two separate, at that moment the two realizing that they can't even keep their hands to themselves as they need to touch and be close to each other, turning out to be ridiculous but more than necessary at the same time.

Aemond thinks about how if Aegon could see them right now, he would call them in need of affection when literally the two of them are in the same place and even then it's not enough.

It's not like you're going to be stolen any second from his side or Aemond is going to be stolen from your side.

And the moment they start serving everything, after having breakfast together, in the place that was home to both of you and fortunately still is, everything went back to the way it used to be before.

Except this time… finally Aemond is yours and you are his.

And then pretty soon the people around you know it.

It's not as if you both wanted to hide your relationship, not at all, rather you wanted to shout to everyone that at last the two of you are together and happy.

Helaena was the first to find out after she showed up by surprise at the apartment and found you there with Aemond's clothes on, where the two of you were watching movies.

And you didn't even have to explain anything to her, she immediately deduced that something else was going on.

But when you confirmed to her that it was so, she could no longer control her huge smile and her excitement, hugging you tightly, telling you how very happy she was for both of you, then hugging Aemond as well.

But his happiness vanishes and in the blink of an eye she grabs him by the collar of his shirt in a furious grip and threatens him not to commit any of his foolishness with you again.

And as soon as she is done threatening him too, she returns to her happy state and keeps them company for a while, happy to see them both so comfortable, so happy and finally so at peace with each other.

Then the next to find out were Aegon, your friends and also apparently "the rumor" started to go around the campus, among the girls more than anything else, announcing that Aemond Targaryen has a new girlfriend.

And it was confirmed the moment you and Aemond are seen walking across campus towards your apartment, both holding hands and not really caring much about the stares of others.

And because of how extremely popular Aemond is, he didn't hesitate for a second to show off, just a little bit, his relationship with you also on social media, uploading pictures of you or both of you together.

You also started posting some pictures with him, it's not like you have the same amount of followers as him, but you know almost the whole psychology department and you only confirmed more your relationship with him.

And with only a few weeks left after you and Aemond finally formalized everything, neither you nor he talked about moving back in together.

There was nothing Aemond wanted more, but he didn't want to pressure you if you didn't feel ready.

Gradually though, staying at the apartment so late and deciding to sleep over started to become unconscious, also staying in the mornings to have breakfast together and also bringing some of your things or clothes with you.

Aemond only suggested Vhagar to stay with him now and you accepted, that's why going to the apartment started to be more frequent, also sleeping over.

Both of you didn't say anything, but little by little that fact started to happen even for both of you not to agree on something. Aemond was giving you time to adjust and you were doing it without pressure.

Until it got to the point of always staying with him and having to leave your room in the residence free for someone who really needed it. In the end you talked it over with him and he gladly agreed to let you go back to the apartment.

You also talked about your job. You were not willing to quit and he understood you, he didn't reproach you for it or anything, you even agreed that some days he could pick you up.

And so things finally, little by little, between the two of you began to take shape after making the relationship official.

And honestly… the two of you couldn't be any better off.

"Wait, no, so… you're telling me… you and your best friend have been in love for years and neither of you knew…" Sara looks at you serious and incredulous, "Until now."

You let out a small laugh, swinging your feet back and forth constantly.

"Yes, that's exactly how it happened."

But Sara is having none of it, she questions you in disbelief and stares at you in total disbelief.

"Are you kidding?"

"You can't blame them either, that's what usually happens when they're best friends," Aileen tells her with more understanding.

"But wow," Ryan says now, slightly surprised, "You being the Targaryen boy's girlfriend is like you're a celebrity girlfriend. All the girls will be all over you knowing his reputation from before."

"He already explained that to me, so I'm not worried," you assure him.

"And how has it been going?" asks Sara with a smile, taking a sip of her drink, "You didn't date any Highgarden boys but you're dating Aemond Targaryen, who…" she makes a thoughtful face, nodding, "Yes, it's true, he's like a celebrity."

"As far as I know, everything's fine," Hel suddenly appears from the kitchen with a smile, drawing everyone's attention, "And if it isn't, the first thing I'll do is go against Aemond."

You smile at the arrival of Hel, who looks as radiant and striking as ever in a beautiful red dress and her platinum hair in a simple but pretty updo.

"Guys, this is Helaena, Aemond's sister and my advisor… pretty much in everything."

"'Her sister-in-law,' Hel says with a proud smile, waving to your friends.

You laugh and so do your friends, as you can see Ryan fidget a little nervously at Hel's arrival who talks to Sara and Aileen as if they've known each other all their lives, watching her a bit embarrassed, making you smile, knowing full well that Hel also has many admirers all over campus.

But that doesn't make you smile as much as when Aemond crosses the kitchen doorstep as well, looking for something or someone, but when his gaze meets yours, that little smile appears on his lips and you smile back at him.

He makes his way through all the people at the party crossing between the main living room of the huge fraternity house and the kitchen to get to you.

And when he does, you immediately wrap your arms around his neck and he wraps his hands around your waist, leaving a chaste kiss on your lips that you reciprocate with a smile.

"Here's my pretty one," he murmurs against your lips.

You smile some more.

"I missed you."

"Me too," he leaves one more kiss on your lips, "But people came who I didn't even know were my family, all the way from Oldtown and mom wanted us to stay and meet everyone."

"And how did that go?"

"Hmm… fine, yeah," he shrugs, "Nothing interesting, really."

You laugh at his unconcern when you can imagine his mother going crazy having so many guests from Oldtown.

"And where is Aegon?"

"He met some girls at the entrance, one of them he must be sticking his tongue down her throat by now."

You laugh again as he settles between your legs and you hug him by the shoulders, then he turns and greets Ryan, who is right in front of you and they both start talking and catching up.

Also little by little Hel corroborates in the conversation of both of them and so on until also Sara and Aileen also talk to him, finally your friends and your boyfriend having a conversation and getting along well.

At all times Aemond doesn't move away from you and doesn't fail to feel your touch as he takes your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours, those simple actions filling you up and making you feel more than happy.

Until at one point you can see how a group of girls also in the kitchen are watching the two of you and whispering constantly to each other, but watching especially you.

Ryan's words come to your mind and you try to distract yourself from thinking about it, but with their gazes on you it becomes impossible, while Aemond doesn't even notice.

When Aemond catches your attention and makes you forget about them as he turns to you and watches you with all that affection and all that adoration.

"Wanna dance?"

"In a moment. I want to play something first," you point to the beer pong tables.

"Babe, at the last party with just one round of beer pong you were already feeling dizzy," he tells you amused.

"That's not true," you say instantly indignant, "It must have been the heat, the people or something."

He laughs.

"Yeah, right."

"Besides, who was the last one who had to take care of whom?"

"See? You don't even remember," he says amused, "I took care of you last time."

You look away from him and grimace a little, smiling.

"Fine, now I'm the one at this party who's taking care of you."

"Hmm… nope," he leaves a kiss on your cheek, "I don't plan on drinking. I have to take care of my girl."

"Are you serious? Because I am taking it serious," you warn him.

"Yeah, if you want to drink, I'll take care of you," he assures you.

"You sure?"

"Very sure."

You smile and again the two of you share a slightly longer kiss, neither of you really caring that you're among friends and lots of people.

You did care at first, but Aemond didn't and he started to slowly make you stop caring too.

"There are my two love birds!"

Aegon's voice makes both of you break off and look at him, also your friends, as he enters the kitchen already with a drink in hand and completely smiling, heading towards where you are.

"What's up man?"

He gives Ryan a friendly high-five and makes his way over to head towards your friends and Hel.

"Sis, I already told you, you look good, girls you too, beautiful," he says in a flirty tone and finally his gaze falls on the two of you, "Sister-in-law! First time we've seen each other since you've been with my brother and you don't know the satisfaction it gives me to call you that."

You laugh and Aegon wraps you in a hug.

"Also finally seeing you, again, Egg."

"Don't call me that if you want to continue to have my approval, you little demon."

"Oh come on, even if you didn't want to, we'd still still be approved by you."

"I hate you."

And even though Aemond doesn't have to feel jealous, he still has that instinct and also the protective one, so he interferes, wanting to feel close to you again, nor him bearing himself.

"Okay, that's enough."

Aemond interrupts their moment by pulling Aegon away from you and settling back between your legs, him being the barrier between his brother and you or anyone else actually.

"So soon we've already started with your jealousy, little brother?"

"Hands where I can see them."

"Okay, Officer Targaryen," he says with a pout, "Dude, this is a party, relax."

You smile and leave a kiss on Aemond's cheek, that being enough to make him content again.

"And mom already knows about this?" asks Aegon interested, "You know she'll go crazy, right?"

"Why?" asks Aemond.

"She'll go crazy and probably start crying from happiness, obviously," he says obviously, "And not just her, but Nyra, Daeron, Jace too, Baela, Rhaena, even Uncle Daemon-oh my god, I can already see what he'll say-you know what? I'll send him a picture of you two right now," he quickly grabs his cell phone and starts typing like crazy, "the fucker is going to love this."

You can't help but laugh loudly at this as Aemond also puts on a smile and not too soon after, the party really starts to get going.

Aegon is the one who starts to set the mood more and pretty soon you find yourself dancing with Aemond and your friends.

Or rather you are hugging him, with him having his hands on your waist, both of you moving from time to time to the rhythm of the music but kissing.

You also sing a few songs together, even Aegon joins in the fun in every person who is dancing, but you can't help but not kiss.

Drinks fly here and there, Aemond drinks too, but it is you who drinks too much and soon enough you find yourself dizzy, sitting on a couch with Aemond next to you with one of his arms around your shoulders and your head on his chest.

Your friends keep you company, also Hel. You don't talk as you are recovering because you don't want to get really drunk while Aemond laughs and talks to your friends, but still from time to time he talks to you and watches you to ask you if you are ok, leaving kisses on your forehead or cheek.

The minutes pass and you observe all the party around you, until your gaze meets again with a whole group of girls watching Aemond and you, but more you.

And it catches your attention that right in that group of girls is Alys, in the middle of all of them, murmuring and having a funny little smile on her lips, watching you.

You press your lips together, letting out a long breath, not wanting to make a big deal out of it but finding it impossible because of the mocking way you know she's talking about you.

Honestly, you didn't even remember Alys anymore. And you know Aemond doesn't even think about her anymore either.

But seeing her now, you teleport back in time to your high school days with the rich girls being mean to you.

And at that moment you try not to let Alys get to you.

You know you shouldn't be ashamed, rather she should be ashamed of what she did to Aemond and with that you feel at ease, knowing that you are not a disgusting person like her.

But being a little drunk and dizzy at the moment, it's a little hard for you not to care.

"Babe? Are you listening to me?"

Aemond's words snap you out of your trance returning to the party and you look at him a bit confused.

"Mmm?"

He smiles at you in amusement.

"I asked you if you need anything."

"Oh," you close your eyes, sighing, "No, I'm fine, thanks."

"Sure? Don't you need a glass of water, go to the bathroom or get some air?"

"Hmm…" you say thoughtfully, "No."

He chuckles a little at your behavior and leaves a soft kiss on your lips.

"You want to go home already don't you?"

"What? No, of course not," you quickly tell him confused.

" Babe, I know perfectly well when you lie to me and believe me when you're drunk, I know it even more."

You let out a sound of frustration, closing your eyes tighter, hiding your face in his neck.

"I'm not drunk and I don't want to ruin the party for you. We can stay a little longer," you tell him apologetically.

"No, babe, it's okay," he assures you, "Come on, can you get up by yourself?"

" Babe, no, it's okay, we can stay…".

"I want to go too. Right now I want to be home, with Vhagar and you, so come on, can you get up or not?"

Soon enough, the two of you say goodbye to your friends and his siblings, and Aemond helps you with your balance as you both head to your car, as yes you can walk but at any moment you can go more to the left or right than you need to.

"I love you," you murmur to him as he sits you in the passenger seat and buckles you in.

He smiles.

"I love you too, my pretty one," he says to leave a kiss on your forehead and close the door.

And again very soon you find yourselves arriving at the apartment, where a happy Vhagar greets you, while Aemond leaves you on one of the sofas and goes to the kitchen to get you some water and something sweet to make the dizziness go away faster.

"Here you go, love."

"Thanks."

He also takes a seat next to you and you start eating the sweet bread he brought you, while Vhagar climbs up on the couch with both of you as well.

"Do you want to watch a movie before we go to sleep?"

He asks you watching you carefully and you nod with your mouth full.

Aemond turns on the TV and starts searching for something on Netflix, while you're almost done eating and drinking water, honestly starting to feel better without noise and with some food in your stomach.

When Aemond switches from Netflix to HBO to put on your favorite movie, Harry Potter.

And it's not even ten minutes into the movie when you finish eating and all of a sudden you say:

"I want to hug you."

Aemond smiles beside you.

"You can hug me, babe. I'm right here."

And with that you don't need to hear any more, you quickly move towards him.

But Aemond thought you would want to lay your head on his chest and he would want to hug you around the waist so you could watch the movie, however, you sit right on his lap, your arms around his neck and your face hidden, your back to the TV.

That takes him by surprise but he doesn't complain, on the contrary, he pulls you tighter against him, slipping his arms around you to wrap his arms around your waist.

"I'm sorry we left the party so early," you murmur in his ear, apologetic.

"No, it's okay," he murmurs softly and lovingly in your ear too, " This is how I want to be with you. This is how I always want to be."

You let out a long breath, clinging a little tighter to him, leaving a soft kiss on his neck, feeling so loved.

Then, unable to help yourself, you again leave a kiss on his neck, then begin to leave more in a trail down to his cheek and lips, holding his face with one of your hands.

Aemond smiles all the time, especially when you kiss him with so much need and so much passion that you drive him crazy and he kisses you with just the same feeling.

He pulls away from you to catch his breath and you continue kissing his neck, stroking his hair and stirring in his lap, which makes Aemond alarmed hold you tightly by the waist, preventing you from moving too much.

But you continue with your kisses, on his neck, all over his face and finally on his lips, kissing him in a way you have never kissed him before and Aemond corresponds happily.

When your breathing and also his starts to get heavier and your kisses more… needy.

You again want to move on top of him, but Aemond again stops you by stopping you from kissing and watching you with some alertness and also warning.

"Y/N."

"What?"

Again you kiss him, clinging more towards him if possible and Aemond kisses you too.

But your need clearly starts to mean something else and Aemond stops you again the moment you slip one of your hands under his shirt to feel his body.

"No, wait," he murmurs, stopping you from kissing, breathing hard.

"What? What's wrong?"

You look at him confused and he lets out a long breath.

"You're drunk," he says softly, wanting to make you understand.

"Aemond, I'm not drunk," you insist, "I just felt dizzy, that's all."

You look at him with all honesty and clearly with all willingness, but Aemond continues to look at you with some sorrow and hesitation, also a little serious, because he is not quite sure about it.

"Aemond, please…" you plead, bringing one of your hands to his cheek, " I am thinking, I am conscious and believe me I have never been so sober in my life."

He lets out a long breath, pulling his gaze away from yours, that definitely catching your attention and now watching him with confusion and some disappointment.

"Or is it that you…" you are embarrassed in an instant, "you don't want to do it?"

And at this Aemond immediately looks at you again, worried.

"What? No, no, no, it's not that, babe, it's just that….".

He looks at you unsure, while you continue to watch him attentively, wanting to know, your lips parted and swollen, as well as your whole look willing and full of desire, your eyes more than anything else, just the same way he is.

But he can't do it, not this way without first talking it out and you being sure to take that big step.

"Yet you drink and I can't and won't do this if you're not sure."

"But I am," you insist, "I'm more than sure."

And even though you've said so and you're totally showing him how sure and willing you are, he still doesn't feel convinced, watching you carefully and with some regret.

"I promise, I'm very sure," you say again to kiss him again with the same need as before.

And Aemond reciprocates your kiss, but still continuing to hold you tightly around your waist, preventing you from moving and making him lose control completely.

Even he doesn't know why he keeps resisting nor does he know what else he needs to hear from you to do this, but your drinking earlier stops him completely.

He thinks you're telling him you're safe but you may still be influenced by alcohol and that's just what he doesn't want.

But you really are sober. You really want to do this.

You kiss him with such longing, passion and determination, to continue leaving wet kisses all over his neck, making him sigh and even more reason to control himself at that moment.

"Y/N," again he warns you.

"I want this, please," you beg, "I want this so badly," you murmur in his ear, leaving a few more kisses, caressing his abdomen over his shirt, "Let me show you how much."

His words alert you, but in an instant, you pull away just a little from him and remove your shirt, exposing your breasts covered by your black bra, watching him with desire and even with all that willingness.

Aemond holds his breath completely, surprised, watching you seriously, not being able to avoid looking at your breasts just for a second to look you in the eyes again.

"If you don't want to do this, say so now, Aemond," you ask him.

Then you, there in front of him, half naked, makes his gaze darken and his pupil grow larger, filling him completely with desire at the sight of you and definitely unable to resist any longer.

And now it is he who attacks your lips in a needy kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him, while you respond in the same way, pleased.

You begin to move on top of him and this time he doesn't stop you, no longer able to control the notorious desire in his pants that begins to grow and that you begin to feel, only making you want more.

"You're so pretty," he murmurs against your lips, completely aroused, running his hands down your back, reaching for the clip of your bra.

"You're so beautiful too, Aemond," you reply between kisses, "I love you."

"I love you too."

You do the work for him and remove your bra in one motion, dropping it somewhere on the couch, not really caring.

Aemond grunts, definitely not being able to take it anymore and in an instant he places both of his hands on your ass and lifts you up to get up himself as well, carrying you towards his room, both of you without stopping kissing.

And that night, Aemond caressed every part of you and treated you like the petal of a flower, taking care not to hurt you and making you feel good at all times.

And you loved every moment, clinging to him, kissing his scar and repeating over and over again how much you love him, while he continued to make sure you were okay.

You took all the time in the world, there was nothing rushed and nothing forced, the two of you more than comfortable and letting yourselves be completely carried away by the moment, feeling so loved and so lucky.

That night… Aemond was yours and you were his, completely.

And in the end, you both couldn't have felt better, looking forward to what awaited you next, finally together.

[aetlasx]

prologue

pair: eddie munson x witch!reader

summary: Ah, memories. You journal your first day of high school, but things quickly take a turn just a few weeks later.

tw: menstruation, pad/tampons, bullying, name calling (pls lmk if there’s anything I missed)

a/n: just stick with me lol. he’ll be in the first part. Also, this is an AU!! For spooky season!! thank you so much for reading!!

*the chat font is the diary entry and it goes back to normal at the end*

August 22nd, 1983 It's been a few months since i've written in this thing. I thought it'd be a good time to start now since I finally made it to high school!

You know what that means? Four more years till I leave this shithole!! Better than five. June was actually waiting by the door when I got home, she really wanted to hear every detail of how it went. I told her about my classes, I have Jonathan in two and Nancy in several. I told her how the school and people were so different from anything I was used to. But, it doesn't take her long to find something wrong with the way I think. She started with her usual warnings and advice, all the things I need to avoid, all the mistakes I shouldn't make. I know she's just trying to protect me, but it feels like she can never have trust in her little sister.

On the other hand, at least Teddy asked if I had fun. He's always been the one who knows how to lighten the mood, especially knowing how his wife is. He asked about my teachers and any clubs that looked cool enough to join. He even asked about Jonathan and Nancy.

Jonathan was definitely not as excited as me. He's quite, but he's always been that way.I know that his mom was excited for his first day of high school, she even convinced him to bring his camera. Right now, I'm trying to convince him to join the newspaper but he just shrugs me off. And Nancy, well, although it's been one–girl is practically glow. Within just 8 hours of the school day, she was able to meet a boy. She kept gushing about him and is pretty excited for the rest of the school year here. I'm genuinely happy for her.

Before June could add her two cents, I interrupted her with how I stopped by Aunt Claudia's after school to see how Dustin's day went. He was already sprawled out on the couch, 'exhausted' from fighting with his new math teacher. It had been a bit since I had seen them, I slaved away my summer at my job so stopping by, I felt grateful that they weren't even mad. I'll have to start hanging out with him again.

Anyways, I’m determined to make the most of freshman year with my friends. I’m ready to prove that I’m more than just a product of this stupid town.

Wish me luck!!

September 16th, 1983

I think I lied. I don’t know where to start…but a four year wait is too long. I don’t know where it all went wrong but it started over the weekend.

Sometimes I’d like to think that if my mom was still around, this wouldn’t have happened. Hell, June is like my mom, why did it happen. I’m talking about mother nature’s gift. It seemed as though no on thought to inform me that a girls first period would be this chaotic.

Nance and I had a movie night planned. I hadn’t really talked to her much, only in class, because her new boy toy or whatever—Steve Harrington, was taking up most of her time. I thought this would be a good time to just catch up and gossip, I was wrong. That Friday was horrible. I ended up throwing up, getting the chills, my body ached to no end. But I was still determined to make movie night happen, especially since June and Teddy were gone for the weekend.

As I was dying on the couch, Nancy finally showed up. But to my disappointment, it was only to cancel. Her and Steve were going out on their first date. I don’t know if it was how hot I was feeling or my intestines twisting, but black spots started clouding my vision. I just remember her screaming for Steve and once I knew it, I woke up in the hospital.

What I’m about to write, I’ll say with confidentiality…probably because I’m the only one reading this. Whatever.

A period is probably normal for all females. What’s not normal is having to go to the hospital and having your best friend’s boyfriend make fun of you because the doctor called you a late bloomer. I mean, she apologized but, if I could’ve just died on that bed, I wouldn’t be here.

Even June lectured me when I interrupted her weekend getaway. The whole ride home she kept complaining and saying ‘how could I not know’ and ‘you just gave us another unnecessary bill’. Like, sorry my baby’s natural response has ruined something for you.

Fuck. That’s not even the worst part. When Monday came back around, everyone was looking at me when I walked in. I know how cliche it sounds after what had just happened but knowing how popular Harrington was and who his friends were, he had already told the whole school by now. During gym, Carol and a few other girls threw pads and tampons at me. I got called ‘Bloody Mary’ and ‘Leak Freak’ in the hallways, at lunch, and anytime anyone had the chance. I tried to stay strong, I even hoped Nancy would say something to me during class or at least when she saw me but she just looked at me with sympathetic eyes. It’s just hard to believe that a few weeks ago, everything was fine. We were making fun of our teacher, gossiping with Barb, and even went shopping but I guess things change. Now when I look at her I’m just consumed with rage.

Jonathan has been supportive, though. The evening I got out of the hospital, he had actually brought over some of my favorite snacks and listened to me cry all night. Even when the mocking was bad, he’s stuck by my side. He’s told some kids to fuck off, walks me to class, and I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong but knowing that I have to wake up and go through it again doesn’t really ease my pain.

I feel like my chances of making friends and actually joining some clubs are ruined. When I try talking to some new, they give me dirty looks. When I go to ask about different clubs, they turn me away. I’ve lost hope. Thought this was suppose to be a fresh start but I guess not.

And just to add more salt to the wound, I haven’t been able to sleep. Every time I close my eyes and drift to away, I’m met with such an unsettling environment. The atmosphere is thick, groggy, red. It’s coated in fog, but a man I’ve never seen before always walks through it. He says his name is Henry, he starts talking about my worries and pain. It’s always the same—he says he’s ‘there to help me’, he’s there to ‘take away the pain because he knows what it’s like’. I truly don’t know what has caused my subconscious to create things like this but I guess I’m just tired of feeling like shit.

I don’t even know why I bother keeping a journal around. Sometimes I feel like I won’t even be here in the future to reminisce on the shitty days like this. Why would I even? I guess it’s just easier to write these things down than having to say them out loud. I thought I’d be able to make my sister, aunt, cousin, and friends proud, but I’m starting to think I’m just not cut out for this.

Closing the diary, the blonde places it back in the shoebox you hid it in. Pushing it back under your bed, standing from the place he sat. A satisfied smirk on his face.

He’d been following your turmoil closely, knowing that this was just the turning point. Your struggles were feeding into his plans. This entry was straw that broke the camels back—your vulnerabilities, your fears, and your desperations. It was almost too easy.

“Your suffering is almost poetic,” Henry said to himself, walking out of your room, your house, determined to take action now. He planned to finally confront you, to force you to acknowledge the full extent of what your destiny could be with his help—with what he had to offer.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

can i request jealous mark (tmc) and a highly oblivious reader oneshot? he’s showing signs he jealous badly and y/n doesn’t seem to notice

Ngl I was heavily debating on whether to have Cesar be human/alive or his alternate, but....I don't see much of human ces so I went with that!

..........

Mark wasn't the most extroverted person, and certainly not experienced in dating whatsoever.

It took him ages to work up the ability to ask you out on a date...and even longer for you to realize he didn't mean that as "a friend". You genuinely thought he wanted to hangout like you did every other day.

But thanks to Cesar's intervention, that confusion was quickly cleared up before the end of the night, sparing you both from feelings of rejection and awkwardness.

Only then you realized "oh shit, we were actually on a date" and reassured him that you genuinely liked him back, offering to take him out next time to make up for your oblivious behavior.

He was a forgiving guy, so he accepted it, and from there on the relationship grew.

Of course, he sometimes struggled to express his emotions. At the end of the day, he still felt like that loner kid who always clung to his notebooks and the cross necklace he never left home without..unsure of what he should be doing now that he had a partner. He'd worry about whether he was doing the right things, so he'd often turn to Cesar for further advice.

You usually initiated most the romantic gestures, which he'd sometimes try to mimic. For instance, you'd write positive messages and his favorite psalms on sticky notes to leave in his locker; and the next day, he left notes in yours.

It was sweet, and you reassured him you appreciated them.

On the weekends, Cesar continued hanging out with you both, often tagging along as a wingman for dates. Obviously you weren't going to keep the two from being best friends, so you didn't mind it at all as long as he didn't feel like a third wheel.

However as time went on, Mark slowly began to notice that the man who helped him confess to you...

Was also the same guy he started becoming jealous of.

He could see how often Cesar's jokes made you laugh, or when his friendly teasing caused you to playfully slap his shoulder, unable to hide the grin on your face.

And for some reason..it stung.

Sure, he was one of the popular kids, the most charismatic, the guy everybody in school wanted to be friends with. This was how he always acted around him and you.

But to Mark, it felt like a thorn was permanently stuck in his side, wishing he was the one who made you laugh and joke around the most.

It was easy for Cesar, yet difficult for him somehow.

Some nights, he'd lie awake wondering what he could do differently...or if you're better off dating him instead.

Of course he wasn't going to tell you this and tried pushing down those envious feelings, thinking they'll go away in their own.

Yet it only got worse after the Alternates became more of a prevalent threat.

Stricter curfews were set in place throughout several counties, and more people were urged to stay inside their homes and keep their television usage down to a minimum.

This meant that you, Mark, and Cesar spent a lot more time together, staying at each other's homes and never leaving a single person alone for too long. If you absolutely had to go out, it'll be as a group.

For tonight, though, you were all spending it at Mark's place, trying to find ways to pass the time.

Cesar, being not too concerned about the Alternates, suggested watching a horror movie, popping the VHS into the cassette player while you got some popcorn before joining him on the sofa. You liked the idea and believed it to be a good escape from reality.

Mark, on the other hand, thought you two lost your minds.

"Did you guys just..forget that entire broadcast?" He bluntly asked when you invited him over. "We shouldn't even be having the TV on..let alone a scary movie. Turn it off."

"Mark, relax. It's fine." Cesar waved his hand, brushing off his friend's concerns. "It's a cheesy monster movie. Nothing's gonna crawl out of the TV and get us."

The brunette just frowned back at him, not liking how close he was to you yet being unable to do anything about it. "You don't know that."

"Just c'mon over here, dude." He sighed, noticing that your gaze was fixated on the screen, watching the monster stalk its first victim. "Who else is gonna protect [y/n] when the scariest part-?"

As if on cue, the shrill scream of the victim and the monster's horrific roars startled you. It made you jump and instinctively cling to the closest person.

Who happened to be Cesar.

Moments later, you realized your mistake and immediately shuffled away, bashful as he laughed at your reaction. "S-Sorry. That just..really got me. I didn't expect that!"

"It's all good. Now Mark, you can-"

However, when you both looked at Mark, you could see he was fuming, as though on the verge of screaming in rage. But then he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, before mumbling something under his breath.

"What's up, hun?" You tilted your head, wondering what was wrong.

"I said I'm going to bed. You and Torres can do whatever the hell you want. I'm done trying."

"Wait, we can find another movie!" You tried calling out to him, but your words fell on deaf ears as he stormed out of the living room, disappearing down the corridor.

Seconds later you heard the door slam shut, and Cesar became tense, feeling his heart drop.

He was only trying to help Mark become a more confident boyfriend, but it seems he just made things ten times worse. He never called him by his last name unless he was extremely pissed off.

Maybe he went too far.

"You should go talk to him.."

"About what?" You looked at him, confused. "Is he mad we didn't listen to the broadcast?"

"...I feel like it's more than that."

Although your friend sounded quite vague, you decided to take his advice and leave for Mark's bedroom, telling him that he can keep the movie going.

After you reached your boyfriend's door, you knocked a few times, stepping back as it swung open and revealed an angry-looking Mark. But upon seeing you, his gaze softened. "Why aren't you with Cesar?"

"I was worried about you." You pointed out.

"...really? I'm surprised." He averted his eyes, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Can we just talk? I wanna know what I did wrong."

He was silent for a moment, forgetting that you were very dense and didn't see the obvious signs.

But he invited you inside, and after shutting the door you sat down on the bed together. Mark was still quiet as he tried to figure out what to say, wringing his hands together in an anxious manner.

You, on the other hand, decided to list out everything that could've possibly upset him this much. No matter what, you're not leaving until you wrestle the truth out of him.

"If..it's about us not listening to the broadcast-"

"No..no..it's..not that. I want us to stay safe but..that's not why I left. It's a stupid reason, now that I think about it..." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Did it...have anything to do with Cesar?"

Finally, you hit the nail on the head.

Thank god.

Mark was eventually able to admit how much he disliked the closeness you two shared even though it was Cesar who pushed him to ask you out. It was hard for him not to sound like a possessive asshole, but he felt like that's the impression he was getting when he saw your frown.

Great. Now you're probably gonna argue with him about much he was overreacting and how he didn't need to storm off like a child.

But instead, you hugged him..much to his shock.

"I'm so, so sorry, hun. I..I never even noticed until now." You pulled away and looked at him, feeling guilty that you never realized this. "But you know I'll always choose you over him, right? I'm sure he didn't mean to act that way."

"I know, I know. It's how he is." He sighed, his shoulders slightly relaxing. "I just...I wish I could be as confident as him. I hate being so uptight and paranoid all the time...and when I see him making the better jokes and moves, I.....l-like I said, it's stupid-"

"It's not stupid. I promise." You took one of his hands into yours, squeezing it gently. "I'll admit, it's kinda cute seeing you get jealous. I never thought you had that in you."

A blush formed on his face. "....m-me neither. So..are you sure that-?"

"Mark. I love you, and you alone. Cesar's a funny guy, but you're protective, polite, and honest. And I admire that. You don't have to be like him or anybody else, okay?" Smiling, you kissed him on the cheek. "We can go watch something else if you want, or if you wanna stay here."

"No, I'll..go watch that movie with you. But I'm gonna be the one protecting you from now on." He huffed, gaining some newfound confidence.

You just chuckled softly, taking his hands and pulling him up to his feet.

"Now that's the Mark I know and love."

[timeoverload]

Today was nice. Everything went well and everyone was in a good mood. I spent my morning doing sterrad and I haven't done that in a while. I got to leave 30 minutes early so that was cool.

Earlier one of my co-workers asked for my number just so he could have it in case something happened. I gave it to him because I didn't think he was going to make it weird. I don't mind talking to him but obviously I don't like him like that. I have no interest in dating anyone from work. He is definitely not my type and I'm also 5 years older than him. I'm not interested in being with someone younger than me. He has a hard time being serious. I like to joke around but it is constant with him and it's starting to get annoying. He likes to bring up the fact that he has never had a girlfriend and his parents won't let him move out of the house until he is married. I thought he was just venting because we're all pretty open with each other. I guess I didn't realize what he is trying to do until now. I feel stupid. He texted me a little while after I got home so I would have his number. He also sent me a bunch of weird selfies so I don't know what to think about that. I am a little uncomfortable and I hope he doesn't try to text me all the time. I need to distance myself as much as possible because I'm not trying to give him the wrong idea. He also changed his hours so he could come in earlier so I have to be around him longer so that is stressing me out. I'm glad I don't have to see him for a few days.

Anyway, I don't want to think about work anymore. I am happy to be home. I just wish I could get comfortable.

I called the imaging place to see if I could make an appointment to get my x-ray tomorrow so I don't have to wait and luckily they have an opening at 12:30. I am looking forward to having that done and it would be nice if I could get results by the end of the weekend but I might have to wait until Monday. I got my neck brace and it's not as comfortable as I was hoping. I probably shouldn't wear it even though I want to because it could make my muscle weakness worse. I guess I will have to wait and see what the doctor says. I already know they are going to make me do PT and I hate going to PT. I have always had bad posture so I don't know how I am supposed to correct that now. It is painful to stand up straight and I know that's not right. My neck hurts so bad. I think it is worse than my lower back pain now. I hope it's nothing serious but I am starting to think I have bone spurs because my bones feel like they are pointy and sharp. I don't know how else to describe it. I already know I have arthritis and that can cause them. I am too young to be dealing with all this and I'm scared about the future. I don't want to lose my mobility. I have to be more careful about the activities I do now. Unfortunately it is more likely that I could be paralyzed in an accident since my spine is already damaged. I remember taking care of people who were paralyzed and I have had a fear of that since then.

I wish I had the energy to exercise consistently. I think that would help me a lot. I remember I used to go for a run every day after work for a while and I can't do that anymore. I need to try lifting some weights or something. I haven't gotten my yoga mat out in a long time because I don't have room to do that. I would like to go hiking but I am afraid I wouldn't be able to get around like I used to. I just need to get in better shape and build more muscle.

I think my iron is probably low too. I have struggled with an iron deficiency and anemia most of my life. When I was a baby, I had to have an iron supplement with my formula. A few years ago I was taking an iron supplement every other day but I think I stopped because it was hurting my stomach. I was also drinking a lot at the time so I knew it wasn't good to take those with alcohol. I haven't had a drink in a while so that's good. I probably should start taking iron supplements again sometime soon because they might help.

I feel like I am rambling and I need to go relax now. I think I am going to put an ice pack on my neck to see if that helps. I am glad I don't have to get up super early tomorrow. I'm probably not going to be able to stay awake too much longer because I'm tired. I hope tomorrow is a good day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too!!! Thanks for listening to me vent about stuff. :) 💖💖💖

[ihateeverything101]

he puts everything on me!! i make him feel shitty because we didn't do sexual things together. i like doing sexual things too!!!! but there are real life things that need to happen and when i thought about my 3 day weekend i never thought it would go like this. it's a joke. it literally feels like a joke 😂😂😂😂 i was managing my emotions so well even though i was exhausted this week because i didn't have my weekend. i was like yay!!! 3 days i will definitely have enough time to recharge, do things, and have fun!! i was so excited. why lmao. why. why did i have such high hopes. we had plans to go to the outlets and grocery shop together. i was so excited for those things. we never do anything together outside of the house, it's always me by myself. he said he wanted to go with me so i was excited! i had plans to do things on my own because i am tired of not being happy with my weekends. but this is what happens when i try to take it by the horns and be commuted to what i want to do and get done. i told him every step of the way, i want one day relax, one day where we can go out and do things, one day where i can do the things i need to around the house. i was talking with him every step of the way but still he manages to change my plans and his plans last minute. yesterday was supposed to be our going out day. i tell him how much it means to me even for him to come on grocery trips with me. we have a rough morning because he confuses me and i don't handle it well. again i feel like it's on me, im the younger one trying my best but it doesn't matter to him. it was already late in the day and we had a lot to do. i told him i was going to go shower and i figured he was going to jerk off so i asked him, are you going to get off? and he said yeah and i went and showered and tried to put myself in a good mood to continue this day on the right foot. i came out of the shower and back into the basement, his area, and i was smiling and happy and asking him if my outfit was ok and he was talking to me flatly. i don't know what else i did but i had other things i was doing in the same space. oh my gosh i didn't remember until now. i was interacting with him and talking about the outlets and groceries and only once i was pretty much ready he was like i don't feel like going. i tried to motivste him and tell him how much i wanted him to come but i never know what the right answer is for him. he was upset that i was making everything about me. i shouldn't but also. it's my weekend. he doesn't have a job. he gets to sleep in and eat and smoke how he wants. i don't get that. so yes i want to be demanding on the days i do have control over. and even like i said earlier, when i let him decide what we're doing i always end up unhappy with the weekend! i don't accomplish my chores or the relaxing i want. so it's pointless!!! it's my weekend. i want to enjoy it. i was telling him i was leaving for the store because he didn't want to come with me, i didn't want to go. i was so upset because he told me he would come with me, but he always backs out so why am i suprised. then he told me he didn't like how i asked him if he was going to get off earlier. are you kidding me. i am doing so much for him, the house, and trying to do things for myself. but that pissed him off. he said that was the reason he didn't want to go out with me is because i didn't do sexual service with him to get him off. i word it the way i do because it's not sex. it's not s fun blowjob. it's all about him. it hurts me. it's long and tiring. my knee hurts and i told him that even if he asked me to play i probably would've said no because my knee hurts. him having all the control can be fun sometimes but it goes back to the main point of this weekend, i wanted to enjoy it. i was determined to get the things i needed to done. which is a joke because they didn't get done and they aren't going to get done. today was supposed to be my relaxing day and he woke me up to argue and fight and punish me.

[diedbutterflies69]

Will you stay?- Bang Chan imagine.

Contains: friends to lovers au. , Divorce, smut, fluff, blindfolding, oral sex, explicit sexual stuff etc . Minors don't interact.

Never once on your life, you thought you could get your shit together and laugh genuinely at the worst in world. falling out of love is worse but it's even more worse if it's your it's not you who fell out of love. Married at 22 and the honeymoon phase hardly lasted for a year and by the age of 26 got yourself labelled as a woman who sabotaged her own marriage in thirst of money. Your ex husband was bitter about your success even before you got married. He thought as a woman, you just did bare minimum and got yourself a high positioned rank by sleeping with one of the rich rags. You tried hard enough to hold on to that rotten red string , but he had the scissors and just cut you off. You weren't willing to sacrifice your career just because of his Immature mindset, yes you loved him, but can't a women love her own hard achieved success more? That's the question you wished to ask everyone who pointed there fingers at you. After divorce you didn't feel pain just numbness. Your self-hatred coming more stronger than ever, even hating the job, you tried Saving since years, getting life on track seemed impossible and at the end just quitted. Moved out of the city just to move back to your home town, the root of your real pain. It wasn't really a town but rather a more flashy city, expensive shits which you were unable to afford in childhood but now it wasn't any big deal. Earth is round and sometimes precious people find you all by themselves. Your highschool friend, the only friend you had throughout your lifetime because of your anti social tactics.

Bang Chan, the social butterfly who almost knew every single student in whole school, he was the hottest guy you ever saw in your life and also the kindest. You had crush on him even before you both were friends, he was your senior,used to help you with those shitty math sums, crack jokes every now and then and scolded you whenever you procrastinated. He came to congratulate you even on your graduation day, even though there were many more students whom he met you were still glad atleast someone bought you a beautiful bouquet of tulips and bellflower. The last time you saw him was before you moved out in search of cheap collages without informing him, as you thought you were just one of many friends he had and won't ever notice someone like you existed.

But god, how much wrong you were.

You met Chan after almost 9 years in convince store and his reaction was almost priceless , like finding treasure. He was now more handsome, beautiful and god-like even after all this years his style of dressing didn't Changed much, he still looked like Kim Kardashian at 2021 met Gala. nevertheless his smile still had those healing properties with his Cresent moon eyes. He was absolutely stunning.

The first sentence he spoke after confirming your identity was 'I missed you' and then tons of lectures and questions . Knowing how narrow-minded you were he gasped dramatically. Cheesiest ways of saying how could I forget my best friend and so on. That day was probably the best day of your life and maybe even the day after years you really smiled. You both exchanged numbers and addresses and his home was just 10 minutes away from yours. Destiny indeed.

Now it's been over 7 months since you met Chan again and he never made you felt like you were just one of his 109 friends. Chan made you feel special, after knowing what kind of disaster you faced he was even more supporting of you, you both used to spend weekend together watching variety of shows and movies going to stargazing, best friend goals. After many years you knew even if Chan had many people to confide with he never really did. He was alone, just a night owl obsessed with work. You were happy. And he was happy too. Being just friends was enough for you, but not for him . He was slowly trying to find courage to confess his love to you. He liked you fuck from highschool days. He found you once randomly staring at him across the room and when you suddenly disappeared all his fantasies were scattered, he knew your dreams and was willing to help you with your every step. knowing how messed up your household was from your neighbours he felt guilty for not being able to give you happiness. He loved you, but was helded by his own insecurities.

Not anymore though, he wasn't the same coward who just stared at the love of his life from distance. Being the extra human he was, he bought you one of the most expensive restaurant of the whole country, man was loaded. After driving for almost 5 hours you both finally reached there .

Now a nervous Chan sitting infront of you. You being oblivious to the fact that he has a beautiful diamond ring and a confession to make. Chan handed you the menu card and every single dish had an extraordinary name, without much thought you placed the order.

"atleast tell me now, why are we here?" You asked the man infront of you who was behaving extra weird today, he looked sick and was occassionally asking you random questions.

"No reason, I was in mood for long drives and... You know have a nice meal" Chan said fidgeting with his fingers he was acting like a flustered high school guy it was clearly indicating that he was lying but you didn't really care, Chan was weird sometimes.

"Sounds fake, but okay. By the way you aren't sick right?" You asked Chan out of pure concern as he was sweating profusely even in an cold AC room.

"I am fine, just feeling a little hot. Don't worry", Chan said it was more like he was convincing himself that he was fine and shouldn't worry. He wasn't a teenager but a human with responsibilities who once again fell for someone out of his league, he used to think that and he still sees you as a literal goddess. While he was lost deep in his thoughts, the waiter came with food , and this was his opportunity to shoot his arrow. You both started eating and talked like being in paradise.

"did you liked anyone in highschool?", Chan asked you out of blue making you almost choke on food. The only person whom you liked throughout your highschool days was the guy sitting infront of you and you didn't really remembered much guys and the best answer was probably saying a lie with little truth.

"no one lol", you answered trying to sound chilled but since highschool crush topic was out you weren't able to keep your curiosity with yourself.

"What about you, liked someone?", You asked trying to sound nonchalant and not desperate and bitter.

This was the Exactly the conversation that Chan planned in his mind. And here started his way to either heaven or pit of rejection.

"I loved someone", Chan said and you this time you really choked from the depth of your heart, you thought Chan was anti romantic type of guy as he never talked about of his female friends with you or bragged about his non existent dating life. Trying again to not sound jealous or bitter you spoke again.

" Who was that lucky bit-- I mean girl yes girl? Who was she?", You asked, almost letting out the bitch loudly. You weren't sure but you saw Chan smiling cheekily, he was really getting old acting weird more and more everyday.

"Well... Someone from our school",Chan said and you swear you didn't made a disgusting face showing pure jealousy. The best human in your life and your first ever crush had crush on somebody, you didn't knew why you were feeling so fucking bitter but you weren't able to handle the curiosity anymore.

"Tell me her damn name", you asked Chan in a frustrating tone not being able to keep jealousy to yourself.

"Why you being angry", Chan asked followed by his small laugh.

"I am angry, just the food was a little spicy you answer me now, her name?", You answered Chan with your defenses up and still sticking with your previous question.

Chan in response got a little serious now,you thought he was being childish now, he wasn't a kid who was given a dare to name out his crush yet he was acting like one.

"You won't leave me right, I mean after I answer your question?", Chan asked you and you didn't knew what to say in response you were now a little sus about him.

"fine don't answer, keep secrets", you said and continued eating. The next thing Chan said made you now choke and die on food.

"I loved you and I still love you" Chan said looking down at the table head hanging down like his teenage self just confessed he watched porn infront of his parents. You were shocked, frozen and the your heartbeat 10x faster, you didn't knew how to react and tried to find humor in this extraordinary situation.

"Chan, you kidding right?", You asked Chan with a nervous smile on your face. Chan looked up at you , his eyes trying to find yours but you avoided the eye contact.

"I am serious, I liked you from HighSchool times, I saw you for the first time in library when you were looking at me, I swear you were so beautiful and even now after all this years after seeing you I can't, I can't help but fall for you all over again, sorry"

Chan confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability his sentences were scattered here and there and incomplete explanation but still you understood everything he really poured his heart to you, you felt like crying even if you both weren't such stupid cowards back then, then today you won't have turned out a divorced women and Chan a guy who grew out lonely even if he had a world for him.

"What should I say Chan?", You asked Chan you were sounding like a girl whose bf told her to breakup even if the situation was exact opposite. Even if you love Chan , you didn't think about him reciprocating same feelings back to you. You were beyond insecure with your love emotions. One thing was sure you won't be able to love Chan without being a bundle on him. Your emotion Baggage was too big and you didn't want Chan to get his heart too with your stupid emotions.

"I love you and I will be really really good to you. Please try staying with me I will try really hard to earn space in your heart, please?" His confession was like literally begging. You weren't able to believe if he was real or not, if it was a dream that will end as soon as cruel morning comes, this felt like fantasy. Chan was a amazing man, he had everything money ,honour ,beauty a nice heart. He was like a character written by women so perfect so delicate yet strong, and he loves you this fact was enough for to lose your mind. but you thought you were a taint to his beauty, you were a character full of inferior complexes and a person too easy to dislike thats what illusion you made about yourself. A random extra in her own story.

"I will pay the bill, let's talk later", you said and walked away immediately to pay the bill leaving a clueless and disheartened human behind. Chan was able to see how you stopped yourself from saying love you too and throwing yourself in his arms. He wasn't same from HighSchool a guy who gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and gets unable to see others. He knew you had atleast a small space for him in your heart and to make a big room for himself he had to throw out all your insecurities and self hatred. He followed you like a lost puppy and he wanted to pay for food but you already did and now you were already out of restaurant searching for his car to get back.

Chan sitted beside you, without doing anything silence and awkward air surrounding you both.

"start the car", you said breaking down the silence, you were extremely worthless and trash as you made the only one person whom you love feel like nothing.

"Just answer me, will you try dating me please", Chan said his voice again passing draggers into your heart. Trying to form any logical explanation you spoke again.

"I am not looking for relationship right now, see Chan you are amazing, but I can't make you happy now and did you forgot that I am divorced, please understand" you said expressing your real insecurities and fear, fear of not being able to keep a man happy.

"you don't want relationship because you divorced that fucking trash of a man?", Chan asked he was getting frustrated you thought but he just wanted to make you happy and not deny what your heart wants.

"my mind isn't stable, I might just irritate you everytime with my mood, you will will get tired of me and leave me -- I don't want to be alone again I will die if you leave me", you confessed tears threatening to fall out of your eyes there wasn't any doubt that you loved Chan he filled the void in you in just months made you happy but you didn't wanted to just take and take and give nothing in return. Chan's hand found yours interlocking your fingers with so much delicateness that you might cry.

"you think so low of me, just stay by my side I will make you so happy that you will hardly get time to think about your past, trust me", Chan said his fingers slightly lifting your chin up to look into your eyes, you looked in his eyes filled with so much care and this was your last straw before breaking down in his arms.

"I love you, I love you so fuckin much, you were my first love my only friend, my everything, please-- please love me", you confessed tightening your arms around Chan, his scent making you feel safe and like home, his one caressing your hair and other wiping away the tears. Even though the scene was more like a dramatic clique scene whatever emotions you both felt was unexplainable.

"So you my girlfriend now hmm?"Chan asked you for first time in night his voice containing pure happiness and excitement.

"I have a sexy boyfriend", you said smiling from ear to ear against Chan's chest. The label boyfriend making your heart flutter, you didn't knew happiness like this can even exist.

"My love", Chan said his voice sweeter than honey, suddenly the night was more starry."now can we go home?" You asked Chan finally breaking the hug, reality hitted you now Home was 3- 4 hours away.

"I made a reservation in hotel, we gonna spend night there", Chan casually said making your heart jump out of your chest.

"pervert, you planned everything seriously", you said dramatically and giving him a playful digusting look.

"I booked two rooms", Chan said now starting the engine making you feel embarrassed. "Who is pervert now~" Chan said in air teasing you more.

The rest of the ride you both talked about anything and everything. Confessing how you used to find ways to always be in each others vision etc. Both of you finding a new thirsty side of each other. Nothing felt uncomfortable, it was happiness those inhumane laughs crazy tricks you both used to pull everything was heaven. After some time you both reached infront of a gaint hotel , it looked expensive af but regardless Chan knew how to waste money and you were tired of lecturing him about savings.

"let's go", Chan said removing your seatbelt and getting out of car to open the door for ya. He was being so cheesy gentleman and you were enjoying every minute.

"room 42 and 43" Chan said to the receptionist and she handed two keys to him. Thanking her then getting on elevator, you were a little disappointed that you weren't sharing room with Chan, yes you were pervert and total simp for Chan, he was too hot and your sexual drive was getting higher each passing second. The elevator doors opened and you got off. Chan handed you the room key and softly kissed your forehead, both you wished it was your lips.

"if you want anything, just knock okay?" Chan said in his lovely tone, I want you you internally screamed, nevertheless you gave him a nod and got inside that expensive room .

Starring at the ceiling while lying on the bed your mind was full of Chan, you knew he wasn't probably sleeping and was wasting time in watching random shit on internet and you were hungry, hungry for Chan, it wasn't your fault that Chan was so hot. Trying to fall asleep and fidgeting here to there you finally decided to knock on Chan's room door. A danger zone. You noticed how the door flunged open in less than few seconds.

"Hi" you said scratching back of your head and trying to think what next to say.

"Hi..?"Chan said being confused.

"there is cockroach in my room, let me stay with you" you said a clear white lie. Taking impulsive action were never good for you.Chan sighed before opening the door fully and signalling you to come. This was your happiest day ever.

"whY you lying", Chan asked you as you plopped yourself on sofa besides bed. He asked the sentence in a sarcastic way.

"Do you you wanna kiss me?", You asked Chan with a straight serious face catching him off-guard, you didn't wanted to waste more time, you wanted to do everything with Chan, yes fucking on first day of dating was a little too early but you fantasized about this gorgeous man since ages, in your eyes he looked total dom but his reaction to your question was making you doubt your thoughts.

"Are you sure", Chan asked you clearing his throat.

"Are you virgin?"you asked Chan, he was being too nervous.

"Obviously not"Chan answered you in duh tone, rolling his eyes. And it was getting awkward.

"The cockroach must have gone by now I should go, bye", you blabbered and got up ready to leave, you were about to open the door but Chan grabbed your hand and before you knew anything his hands were on your cheeks cupping them softly and his lips so close to yours, Chan's eyes were looking straight in your orbs , your heartbeat stronger than ever.

"Can I?", Chan asked your consent his thumb softly brushing against your lower lip. This man had totally made you insane, something stirred inside you. Chan was perfect he was everything you wished. You gave him a small nod and slowly his lips touched against yours, you wanted to cry, his lips felt so good, he didn't rushed his movements everything was happening in slow motion, he holded you with such a vulnerability like he was afraid that you will go, your hand reached his head, fingers moving through his soft locks. You felt his tongue inside your mouth , you felt a electricity run down your body when the kiss deepened.

We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.

Breaking the kiss Reluctantly in need of air, Chan rested his forehead against yours. He was hot almost like burning, sweating.

"Why are you so nervous, Chan?", You asked Chan hugging him tightly clinging like the last leaf to the tree.

"I am scared, I just love you", He said engulfing you in his arms. And you Finally felt, what real love feels like.

"Love you too", you replied softly.

"Do you wanna continue..?"Chan asked you his tone little less scared.

"Off course", you said looking at him with smile, something inside you told it was okay to let out your freaky side infront of Chan. Chan smiled back and suddenly turned you around , the large bed infront of you.

"Lie down there",Chan whispered in your ears , his low register sending shivers down your spine. This was exactly how you pictured Chan to be, your inner submissive almost died. You followed Chan's word and laid on your back on the bed, now you were feeling like a virgin. His eyes roaming through the room in search of something.

"Are you okay with being blindfolded?", Chan asked you as he came back with the tie he wore today and was rolling it slightly in his palms, and you swear you never saw a man so hot in your entire life. Getting blindfolded was one of your unfulfilled kinks.

"ye- yes", you replied your tone filled with thrill and excitement. Chan came back to you standing near you, his hand softly cupped your cheeks , before bringing the tie to use it in sinistrous way tonight. The cloth felt strange to your eyes, his cologne smell hitting you and Chan caught your shy smile, His heart felt so fluffy. Tieing a comfortable knot Chan sat on bed near your waist. His hands slowly crept near your stomach leaving a direct lingering touch on the sensitive skin, eventually going upwards while giving a little squeeze to add stimulation, his hands reached your boobs, you didn't wore bra, and he wasn't surprised maybe your nipples perked up enough to get noticed, his middle and index finger Rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves, the blindfold making his every touch more intense, your breath was heavy you let out a suprised moan when Chan gropped your right boob in an erotic way, this sole action increasing your wetness down there you were getting impatient. You moaned his name a little loudly when his lips came in contact with your sensitive neck, sucking in a painful way, inorder to leave a hickey.

"Should I touch you here", Chan asked you as his hand reached to your area where you needed him to the most, hands going directly inside your panties ,but not touching he was a teaser.

"yes please", you moaned almost breathlessly too tired of intense foreplay. You just wanted Chan to rip off your clothes and fuck you till sunrise. Getting satisfaction with your answer Chan finally removed every clothing of your lower body, leaving you completely bare, all at his mercy. His finger moved up and down on your opening , the wetness making Chan easily slip his one finger deep inside you.

" my baby is so wet, because of who?", Chan asked you as his finger was moving slowly inside of you and thumb rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves.

"because of.. you", you admitted without any hesitation trying to grind yourself on his hand, begging for more.

"Good", Chan said and without saying anything he added another finger inside you moving a little faster inside your cunt, rubbing your walls with a little pressure, scissoring them inside you painfully and making way for a third finger too and by then you were a complete moaning mess, his fingers were pleasure yet torture the blindfold making your senses weak. Mind full of whatever Cham was giving you. Your legs were shaking sign of your orgasm approaching you, by one hand Chan holded your thighs tightly to their place fingers now moving more faster to make you reach the peak of pleasure.

"Chan.. I--I-I-- wanna cum please", you moaned your little squeaks and begs almost making Chan's cock cum right inside boxers. With some final thrust of his fingers, you cummed the hardest you could imagine, squeaky sounds coming as Chan was fingering you through your orgasm, you almost crying from overstimulation. Moaning his name like a chant.

"you did well",Chan praised you finally removing his fingers from you leaving you empty, but it won't have last wrong. Chan removed your blindfold , the bright lights hurting your eyes, you adjusted your vision and the image of Chan sucking his wet fingers coated with your liquid came directly in front of your eyes. Letting out a helpless whine.

Chan plopped himself on knees on either side of your thighs, finally letting his cock out, leaking with precum, and he was big, thick , you didn't thought he could get even hotter.

"Ready baby?", Chan asked you as he fully undressed himself as well as removing your top, your mind hazey . The scene which you pictured since highschool finally happening.

"yes", you replied Chan, he came down to kiss you passionately and slowly entering inside you. You moaned painfully, tears pulling your vision, it was a painful pleasure. Chan kissed away your tears and hand interlocking with yours after finally being fully inside you he started to move at slow pace.

"you feel so good Chan", almost screaming from pleasure, your whines were fuel to Chan's ego and he increased the pace. Body slapping sound filling the room, his groans were most sexy thing you ever heard. Again and again his tip hitting your deepest spots.

"I am close", you moaned out breathlessly, pleasure becaming too much to handle .you released around his cock, reaching the peak second time at night.

After giving a few more thrusts Chan cummed at your stomach, he was still sane enough to not curse you with kids while being lost in pleasure."I love you", he said as he settled beside you hugging you tightly. This was heaven.

"love you too", you said , your voice a little hoarse.

"by the way I forgot that I bought a ring to propose you", Chan said, realisation hitting him, that he forgot to say the long ass paragraph that he was supposed to say while sitting on one knee. You smiled at his guilty face.

"don't worry, propose me after having shower", you said heart filled with pure joy and happiness . Happiness of knowing that You love someone who will always love you back.

[stray-kids-react]

Shy s/o doesn't think they deserve them

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° He loved your shy personality, he just wanted to cuddle and praise you all day long. Even though you are a naturally soft person, that also comes with a lot of insecurities.

° Your boyfriend is a hot aussie leader with a heart of gold who fans call daddy, you can't but feel that you don't deserve such a God like boyfriend. And he can see it bothers you.

° Chan is a sweet heart who will check in on you as often as he can even with his busy schedule, he knows having an idol boyfriend can be stressful and he wants to comfort you.

° Felix was baking brownies, which you usually helped him out with even if it is just to cheer him on as he does his thing. But both of the aussies noticed your missing presence.

° Chan waltzed up to his studio, where you often hung around when you were at the dorms. Once he walked inside he noticed your figure curled up in a chair.

° You were scrolling through some messages that were sent to you via Instagram. None of the messages were pleasant, and Chan's heart broke as he read the truly gruesome ones.

"Maybe they are right. Maybe I don't deserve you." you sighed, slumping back.

"Don't say that, you are a beautiful person inside and out who I couldn't survive without." He reassured, taking your phone away as he cuddled into you.

Lee Know

° Minho always liked you since you first met during the shoot of hellevator. He was pretty obvious with his fondness of you, but you never believed that he could like you.

° Later on once you began dating, he soon realized how low your self confidence truly was. So he made a promise to himself to try and increase it as much as he can.

° Many fans would threaten you for 'taking Minho away', but Minho would shred the letters before you could see how many there truly were. He knew it would hurt you.

° Minho is very affectionate towards you and likes to show you his love through touch. Whenever you seem down, he will cover your face in small pecks until you begin to smile.

° Has seen how come fans and staff treat you, pushing you around and telling you that you aren't worth his time. Minho took it into his own hands and protected you from them.

° He doesn't like seeing you upset or feel like a burden to him, especially since you are so special to him. Minho asked Chan and JYP if he could take at least a week off, they said yes.

"You didn't have to take a week off just for me, I am okay with your schedule." You explained, ruffling his hair.

"I know you're okay with it, but I needed to get away just for a while. And I miss you everytime you're not with me." He replied, gently placing a kiss to your head.

Changbin

° Will do anything to make you see for at least a second how important you truly are to him, he usually sends you hearts and does an adorable aegyo voice when talking to you.

° When you first began to hang out, you were very distant and almost never said a word. Changbin wanted to get to know you, so he constantly made efforts to befriend you.

° Once you opened up you Changbin, he noticed how self conscious and self critical you were of yourself. His confusion as to why you hate yourself only grew stronger.

° Every morning when you both get out of the shower, he will stand you in front of the mirror and poke every feature on your body saying that it is gorgeous and perfect.

° Likes knowing that you feel comfortable around him and that you have him to go to when you are feeling down. He wants to always be there for you and support you.

° Won't admit it to you, but he once teared up while you were asleep because he picked up a hate letter that was directed at you and he was worried that you read it.

"Your eyes, stunning. Your tummy, adorable. Your ears, cute. Your lips, kiss able. Your butt, squishy. Your shoulders, gorgeous..."

"Binnie you have five minutes before dance practice, you should really get going now."

Hyunjin

° Hyunjin is known to be a visual God in all of kpop, even though he is also VERY talented. Many people have a crush on Hyunjin, and you happened to be one of the many.

° His personality was addictive to be around, his looks were God like, and his talent was insane. Thus making it harder and harder for you to see how much he truly adored you.

° You saw yourself on totally different levels, you alwere at a ten while he was in the thousands. Your thoughts always doubting a scenario where you two would date.

° Assuming Hyunjin was just being nice to you, it became very hard for Hyunjin to clue you into that fact that he liked you. Everyone knew this except for you it seemed.

° Jisung, being a close friend to both Hyunjin and yourself. Took it upon himself to try and arrange a way for you to not be so self critical and completely oblivious.

° The next afternoon, you walked into the dance practice room which was now turned into a full on romantic dining area. Shocked as you saw Hyunjin with a rose in his hand.

"Is this for me? It can't be... There must be some sort of mistake or-"

"No mistakes, I've liked you for a while and thought I was being obvious enough. But Jisung told me that I should simply confess."

Han

° You and Jisung have been dating for a while, and you watched proudly as Stray Kids gained more and more popularity as they deserved, since they are talented kings.

° The hate comments sent towards you, and the jealous fans or occasionally staff members and idols. Those never used to bother you, but they became more frequent.

° This slowly picked away at your already small amount of confidence, over thinking everything you do or ever did. And Jisung began to notice your distressed state.

° After a performance he went up to you back stage and leaned in for a kiss, when you barely responded to it and looked around the room nervously, his heart twisted sadly.

° Jisung took you to an unoccupied dressing room, and locked the door behind you. He cupped your cheeks gently as he rested his head against yours. A small sigh escaping him.

° You felt all of the built up sadness and anger rise out of you, as tears slowly sprinkled down your cheeks. Your hands clinging onto his back as he embraced you.

"Shh shh shh, it's okay. Just let it all out, it'll be okay. I'm here for you, you know that."

"I'm sorry, I just felt like I don't deserve you and I shouldn't have been so distant, their words just really hurt."

Felix

° Felix knew it was going to be a bumpy ride seeing as he is under a huge company and his band is very popular, but he was willing to go through all of that with you.

° You and Felix were best friends before you started dating, he knew you were shy and quite distant when it came to people. He started to find it cute after a couple years.

° JYP himself has criticised you for interfering with his idols's lives. Even though you didn't interfere and honestly helped Felix calm down throughout the schedules.

° Felix was disappointed by some fo the fan's toxic behavior towards you, knowing that those types of comments will stick with you for quite sometime. You made him happy and he wished others would see that.

° The other members and artists under JYP saw you as part of the big jyp family, but even their support couldn't stop the sadness that brewed as more hate letters were sent.

° You didn't want to stress your already overworked boyfriend, so you tried to find a quiet spot to cry in. But Felix knew you too well, and knew where you would hide.

"I'm okay Lix, I don't want to stress you out since your already on a hectic schedule today. I'll be fine I swear."

"I won't leave until I know for a fact that you are okay, the practice can wait. You need me right now and I'm going to be here for you."

Seungmin

(He looks so cute! I couldn't help myself lol)

° You were also a beloved idol, and many eoopel actually found your relationship with Seungmin quite adorable. You felt lucky that there wasn't so much hate directed at you.

° Even though you both seemed to have it easy compared to other idol couples, you couldn't help but feel insecure when Seungmin treated you like a queen/king.

° Many fans of yours knew that off stage you are an adorable shy bean, but no one except for Seungmin knew why you would become so shy and distant towards others.

° Your shyness came from extreme anxiety and self image issues. You never had much confidence, and Seungmin made many goals to try and bring your confidence up.

° One day after a hard performance, you sat in front of your dressing room mirror and let your tears slide down your cheeks silently. Letting your anxiety take over everything.

° Seungmin walked in with a box of celebration cupcakes, only to have hsi smile fade once he saw the tears rushing down your features. He felt his heart sink.

"I'm sorry Seungmin. It's stupid really, but I just don't feel like I deserve you."

"Y/n, we are perfect for each other. I spoil you with love and affection because you always make me feel special and loved."

Jeongin

° You knew how beloved Jeongin was, by fans, members, idols, netizens, family... Everyone. This sent a large amount of pressure towards you once you began dating.

°Jeongin loved your quiet and calm personality, it was a nice break from the loud JYP building and Stray Kids dorms. Your shyness is what attracted him to you.

° He liked cuddling with you in your apartment, talking about nothing and everything as a random movie played in the background. It was his favorite place to be.

° You both were open with anything that was bothering you and never let something stir inside of you for too long. He wanted to be your safe haven for when you need one.

° One weekend when he was staying at your place, he noticed you seemed more quiet than usual and asked you what was bothering you. Since something clearly was.

° You snuggled into his chest as you clung onto him tighter, sighing in defeat knowing you will have to admit your feelings even though you think they seem silly.

" I feel like I don't deserve you. I mean, you are Yang Jeongin a literal angel."

"You deserve the universe and everything in it, I love you and only you. Don't put yourself down, remember how much I care about you."

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

              ~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC 

Rating 18 +

Angst. 

Implied Infidelity in the past. 

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time. 

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her. 

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles. 

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms. 

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face. 

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance. 

Us. 

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

 I was the one getting a  divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us )  and he had been the most kind man . 

I swallowed. 

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine.  It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over? 

 The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, "  I’m sorry,  Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

 But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again. 

So we had done the wise thing. 

At first a break.

 A few days apart to get our head on straight.  Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we  were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other. 

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation. 

People with children  didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.  

But, none of it mattered now. 

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real. 

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

 Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband. 

He would be  my ex -husband. 

i hated that word. 

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

 Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered,  angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world. 

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer.  It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery. 

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior. 

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel. 

 I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

? 

It had been sheer luck that we had met.... 

In fact, if Jimin's  car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung  just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it. 

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight. 

 I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either . 

And I had fallen in love with that version of him. 

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him. 

 That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years.  So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order. 

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating. 

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. " 

 Whatever it was. 

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection  reduced to a phrase like that. 

What a pity. 

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably. 

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.” 

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly. 

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did  love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t. 

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung. 

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives. 

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.” 

And that had stuck with me. 

Walk out the first time. 

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time. 

 And so I had. 

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself.  “ I shouted. 

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down. 

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending. 

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight.  I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible. 

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes. 

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in . 

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative. 

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us  why.  

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue. 

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life. 

It wasn’t easy. 

From him,  it had been nothing but a mess of   heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give. 

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering. 

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare.  I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least  once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy. 

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning. 

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves. 

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this. 

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him. 

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him. 

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. . 

Of course, the customary hug. 

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine? 

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face. 

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

 Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together. 

No, that wasn’t it. 

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them. 

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized.  “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him. 

“Okay .” I said casually. 

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged. 

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

 It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased. 

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight  into my heart. 

That stupid nickname. 

God I couldn’t bear it. 

Swallowing i looked away. 

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later. 

I nodded curtly. 

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely. 

“Why not?” He whispered gently. 

I groaned. 

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered. 

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “ 

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him. 

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted. 

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he  had  used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw. 

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me. 

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “ 

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently. 

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us. 

“Shall we begin?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride. 

[annie-mit-ie]

Glimpses: Part 13 (Kathryn Hahn x Fem!Reader)

Part 1 // previous chapter <<< >>> next chapter

Summary: Just a casual catch-up.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I don't even know what's happening with Kathryn anymore. Guess it's all going "downhill" from here. Don't get mad! It'll be better soon, I promise! ;)

Tag List: @danvers97 @zafirosreverie @srtamercurio @wanatag @pulledbythestars17 @plantowl @spacehahn

Playlist! :)

_____________________________________________________________________________

A couple days pass before you get another sign of life from Kathryn. It's the weekend again and you are lying on your bed, looking up at the ceiling. Alex is talking away on FaceTime, currently ranting about something that happened at her workplace earlier this week. She always does that, lets people walk over her and then complains about it to you.

You are just about to sit up and shut her down to make her stand up for herself more as a mail comes in. For a moment, you are confused, as you have never read the mail address it is coming from before. Still, you immediately open it to read through, a move that doesn't go unnoticed by Alex, who has stopped talking by now. 

"What is it?" She asks, looking rather concerned.

You are unsure what to say and talk as you read the mail. "Hmmmmmm, OH. Oh it's from Kathryn! Oh this took me way too long. But, you know, if all those "a prince from god knows where wants to send you money"-mails I wasn't sure what to expect." Both of you laugh as you read on.

Just as always, Alex is the perfect example of a nosy neighbor. "What does it saaaay? Don't keep me in the dark, ma'am!", she says and grins into the camera. Nearly done reading, you look up and shoot her an annoyed look. As a joke, obviously, but really, Alex needs to calm down sometimes. You reread the mail and prepare to summarize it for the both of you.

Essentially, Kathryn is simply talking about how she had broken her phone on the way to Europe as they made their way through the airport and spent a couple days hunting down your e-mail address to reach out to you again. She doesn't have a new phone just yet, because she took it as a chance to dive into the script and prepare for the shooting, but feels like it's about time she updates and checks in on you. Furthermore, to really focus on the movie, she decided to not cope the numbers from her old phone just now. Instead, she got a completely new, empty phone and only handed out her number to a handful of people, so she can really be one with the project.

It takes a while for you to understand that this means you are special to her and she chose you out of (probably) a lot of people to stay in contact with. If it wasn't for Alex, you would probably fall into a hole now and over analyze if this means more or not, but she interrupts your train of thought, as always.

"Isn't that just SO Kathryn? Like, I can totally see her sitting there, choosing not to have a phone so she can read her scripts in peace and become her character. That's how passionate she is, ugh, I love her."

Usually, you would agree and say you love her, too, but as of lately you can't bring yourself to say these words out loud anymore, since they feel way too intimate considering the relationship you have formed with Kathryn over the last couple of weeks. So, instead of saying anything, you simply nod and read the mail again before typing the number she provided you with into your phone.

A part of you is very happy about the mail and Kathryn's update, but you have to admit that there is also a part of you that wishes she would've said something about missing you. You miss her,  mentally and physically. You miss her touch and her warmth and, thinking about it for a little too long, you miss what kissing her lips feels like. And you miss how her hair feels on your skin as she bends over you. If you're being honest, you simply miss everything about her.

Alex seems to sense your thoughts and breaks the silence. "You miss her, don't you?"

You don't want to think about it any deeper as you can feel some tears forming in the corners of your eyes. Instead, you just nod as you bite the inside of your lower lip, holding them back.

"You know, Y/N. You should tell her. I am really sure she misses you, too. Like, in THAT way. If you tell me everything that happens between the two of you at all times, then I'm pretty sure she is in love with you, too, you know?" "I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HER!", you suddenly jump and get way louder than you meant to be. Or are you? Hell, you don't even know anymore. Fact is, Kathryn is gone and won't be back for a while and there is no way for you to change that and that is why you shouldn't dwell into those feelings because after all you'll just get hurt anyway.

You decide to shoot a quick message to the number Kathryn provided you with and let her know you read the mail and hope she is doing alright. Also you can't help but tell her how incredibly boring life is without her - could be seen as you telling her you miss her, but doesn't have to be read that way if she doesn't want it.

Alex finally rants about work a little longer before you decide to watch a movie together since it's getting late on her end and you usually spend your Sundays watching a movie or two, whenever both of you are available. 

It takes Kathryn until around noon the next day to answer your message and she seems rather stressed, as it simply reads "Let's catch up tonight! x", as if she didn't even get to finish typing it all out. Excited for the night, you plan out the rest of the day and secretly hope she will acknowledged any kind of feelings she might have in any way, so you can finally talk it all out. 

You're sitting outside in your mom's garden in between all of her flowers on a comfy garden bench as the call comes in and decide to take it with your computer that is placed on the garden table beside you. This way, you can sit and act more comfortably and can grab a blanket or pillow with your hands instead of holding onto your phone.

"Hiya Hon! I missed your face!" Kathryn speaks in excitement as her wide grin fills the screen. She is also taking the call with a computer, as she is just putting her phone away when she sees you.

You smile softly and a warm fuzzy feeling makes itself at home in your body. „Hey Kathryn.. you look beautiful tonight, as always.“

Kathryn blushes as a cheeky smile plays along her lips and makes herself comfortable on the couch that's placed next to the hotel room window. You can see the last couple of sunrays cradling her face as she leans back and the sun hits her features through the open window. She is wearing a white loose shirt and a thin golden necklace is resting around her neck. Her fingers caress the cold metal as she looks at you, softly biting the right side of her lover lip.

„How are you doing, Sweetie?“ she says and you don’t know what to reply. You want to tell her that you miss her - more than just physically -, you want to tell her that she is occupying your thoughts and dreams and that you want to be with her and how it crushes you that she isn’t with you right now. Yet, something is holding you back, because somehow, you feel like she needs to be the one to bring it up first.

Your breath hitches as she does. „I miss you, honey.“

Your heart is racing and you can feel it beating in your throat in anticipation of what she might say next. „I miss sitting with you and laughing, yeah, but I also really miss kissing you. I can’t believe we don’t get to do that for such a long time.“ She groans.

Yeah. That. Of course she misses that. You sink back into the couch, slightly disappointed, but at the same time - what did you expect?

She notices. „Is everything alright, Love?“ she seems worried.

„Yeah! I’m good. It’s just been a rough week and not being able to sit and, you know, spent time with you just seems wrong.“ You’re not lying.

She nods. „It does. You’re right.“

„I know.“ For a moment, both of you fall silent, caught up in your thoughts. Kathryn is still playing with her necklace, as she is lying on the couch in a very relaxed position with her foot propped up and, all of a sudden, looks absolutely heartbroken.

You can’t stand to see her like this and decide to change the topic. You sit up straight again. „So… HOW IS IT? Tell me all about it! The set, the project, YOUR COLLEAGUES and like… I know you can’t really tell me anything, but like… TELL ME EVERYTHING.“

Her laughter fills the room. You did it, you made both of you happy. „Alright, well. It seems to be a very suspenseful movie and the cast is just great. Lots of people my age but also a couple young ones that remind me of you,“ she winks. „I enjoy working here very much so far.“

Speaking about other people has your attention, so you decide to dig deeper. „So, they all treat you like the Queen you are.“

She waves it off. „Oh SHUSH. You are crazy. Although… you are not wrong, all of them treat me very well.“ 

A small smile plays around her lips and, for a moment, you wonder why, but she is already changing the topic. “We’re actually going out for dinner in the upcoming week. I am very excited. It’s gonna be just a couple of us, but, you know me, I love connecting with the others. Bouncing off ideas and all.”

You nod. You DO know her. “That sounds amazing Kathryn! I am beyond excited for you.”

In the distance, you can hear thunder and see the clouds getting darker. Looking back at her, you catch her yawning. “Hey you? It’s getting stormy out here," You look around you again. "I think there’s a storm coming.”

“OH NO.” She mumbles, before she yawns again.

“ALSO,” you try to get her attention back. “You, ma’am, seem to be pretty tired tonight.”

Forcefully keeping her eyes open, she scans your face. “NEVER. I am never tired. I always go to bed late.” She laughs.

“Kathryn…” you really don’t want to be a literal mom in front of her again, but she doesn’t actually leave you a choice.

“I KNOW, I know,” she laughs. “I had a night shoot last night and I think I can finally feel the aftermath.” She yawns again. This time, you yawn with her. “See, you’re tired, too, and I can actually hear AND see the storm approaching behind you. I need you to stay save and get inside.”

You nod, already grabbing the things you put on your table. “Don’t go silent on me again, yeah?”

“I promise I won’t.” She says and you believe her.

“Alright then, good night, K.” Kathryn smiles at the nickname.

“Sleep well, Y/N. And again, text me anytime, promise I'll be there as soon as I can.” And with that, all good byes are said and you immediately close your computer and storm inside after hanging up as the first raindrops hit you.

The storm is starting to get heavier and the incoming rain is now hitting the windows hard as the thunder rolls in - a perfect representation of your thoughts and feelings piling up inside of you.

[hotwings0203]

Hello!!! Soooo I came up with a few headcanons for Muslim Bakugou, JajkjGhoA I can't wait to read your response! 😫🤲💖

Okay! So he is definitely the good husband who does house chores! He actually helps around the house, knows how to do all the chores, and all the other girls are so jealous of you lolll

He will make you the best food! He knows all your favourite dishes, and will spoil you with his cooking! Also he will make your favourite desserts as a form of apology for when he pisses you off or makes you upset

Will feed you when he's trying out new dishes, and when you're getting married during the mehndi, when you feed him laddu or gulab jamun, he will blush so hard but also holds your wrist to "guide" you, as everyone giggles and teases you two for being so flustered and blushy around each other

If you make his favorite dishes?? Like okay imagine you make his fav dish (after asking the bakusquad cuz he's hard to approach lol) and subtly give it to him or maybe get Kirishima to give it to him as you leave the mosque or arrive at some community party or something, homeboi will blush so hard and will not let anyone have even the tiniest bite of your cooking

As a thanks he will buy you churiyan! He will see you admiring them and will come up and awkwardly but gruffly ask you if you like that certain churiyan set (that is like a pretty red and gold) and when you say yes, he will proceed to buy it for you, and omg if the bakusquad see this, Denki and Sero will definitely tease him and be like you should put them on her! While you're like omg! Wait, the adults will see! And he just surprises everyone as he gently grabs your hand and puts them on you and just admires how soft your hands are, and how they fit in his hand, and thinks about how pretty they would look with a wedding ring on them, and you are just standing there blushing so hard, and when he sees you wearing those churiyan at other events he feels so proud and possessive and happy

Weak for your smile and laugh, and very protective of you, will blow someone's head off for making you upset or for disrespecting you. Your parents love him so much, will immediately say yes to the rishta! Also, his parents love you so much, you and Masaru are the calm to Bakugou and Mitsuki raging tempers lmfaoo

You're the only one who gets to see his soft side and soft while without being threatened with death loll lucky youuu~ Also! Everyone will tease him sooooo much for being soft for you, the girls and aunties always giggle when they see how soft he is with you when you guys are out in public and he won't deny it either loll

In public he's kinda reserved with pda, but likes it when you hold his hand or loosely hook your arm around his muscled arms. He will however, put an arm on your lower back to steer you away from an uncomfortable situation or will step in front of you to protect you

In private he will be cuddly, loves wrapping his arms around you, forhead kisses too! You will be a blushing, flustered mess as he leans down by your ear and teases you about it in his low gruff voice. Also just loves the feel of your soft body against his

Also! Omg say its eid or something, and you're getting your mehndi done, the bakusquad will push him to sit with you and help you since you're mehndi is still wet. He will gruffly compliment your mehndi design, will get you food and feed it to you, will softly but hesitantly brush your hair away from your face when he sees that its bugging you, and this will make your both blush, and omg he will have the softest look in this eyes at that moment, and his hand will linger by your pretty earnings, and will just gaze at your lips with a lustful gaze as you softly whisper thank you

When the mehndi dries, and Denki makes a comment about how dark and rich the color is and is like damn Bakugou you really have it bad for y/n huh? Both of you will be so flustered and while Bakugou chases Denki while yelling that hes gonna blow his head off, you just stand there will Mina and Ochako and giggle at his antics, and the girls will tease you about you have gotten Bakugou wrapped around your fingers and that you shouldn't be surprised when his parents approach your parents with a rishta

AunwQniwa anyways Muslim Bakugou will love you so much and cherish you and just RIP to your heart 😫😭💖

YO YES MY GAWD LETS ASSESS THIS MFKIN FOOD YOU JUST GAVE US

okay so 100% YES!! Y’all seen mitsuki? She ain’t havin none of that “I’m the only son so treat me like a king” bs. No no, our girlboss femdom Mistski Auntie has her two boys cookin and cleanin every weekend and massaging her feet, as she SHOULD!

These habits carry on to when he gets married also. His wife could be doing the dishes one day right after their wedding and he would walk by, peeking over her shoulder at her hand-to-sponge technique.

“You’re doing it wrong dumbass. Use the hard side to scrub the crumbs off and then the soft side to polish it.” He snatches the plate from your hands and starts vigorously rubbing it the way you couldn’t. You stare at him, flabbergasted that a mom in the desi community has actually succeeded in raising her son right.

“‘The fuck are you looking at?”

“Nothing,” you quickly say, stepping aside to let him work his magic. He merely grunts and picks up the next bowl.

In a moment of bravado, you lean over to kiss his cheeks. He stops scrubbing and just stares at the sponge in his hands, his face slowly going red as a beet.

When you two fight, you already know he’s gonna be yelling at the top of his lungs and stomping around the house, the explosions from his hands searing the furniture around you.

It’s enough to set you off and storm out of the house too. You need a fucking break, he can be so much to handle sometimes.

It’s around late evening that you come back in the garage from wherever you decide to cool off from. The house is silent and dark from the outside so you assume he fell asleep with the usual scowl on his face.

You sigh and drop your keys and purse on the counter, exhausted from the day’s drama. Form the corner of your eye you see a small candle on the kitchen table alight, and you walk over to put it out.

Except right in front of the candle, there’s a small plate of mithai(sweets) that has a note attached to it.

“Sorry for being an ass” is written in his chicken scratch writing. You smile and shake your head, taking a bite from the surprisingly well-made gulaab jamun.

It’s a good thing Katsuki hid Sato’s recipe in one of the cabinets before you came home.

And just like you said, the man is WHIPPED for your cooking. He’s always pulling you to the kitchen and lightly shoving you around the stove, gruffly telling you to add more spices that he knows you can recreate to a T.

Whenever the Bakusquad comes over to hang out, you try to cook the same way you know Katsuki likes (extra spicy), but for some reason on those exact days you can’t seem to find any of your special ingredients…

At other times maybe before your marriage, when he first began falling in love with you he would see you admiring a vendor’s churiyaan and earrings.

He would quietly walk up behind you maybe a foot or two away, observing how you fit the bangles on your wrist.

“I like the red ones on you,” he says lowly, making sure to dwindle down his usual aggressive tone.

You turn and gently smile at him. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?”

“Because red is what brides wear.”

Your heart beats fast as he takes your wrist, oh so delicate compared to his callous large hands.

“And the silver makes me think of the ring I’ll have on you in no time soon.”

Bakugo closes his eyes in front of you and inhales, letting you know that everything about you draws him closer.

When you guys walk around a college campus or even in town, he’s always looking left and right shiftily, convinced that every man within a mile of you is trying to steal you away. He’ll stand in front of you when a guy asks you where a certain building is, he’ll glare at his friends when they get too rowdy and rough with you, but he still gets nervous for PDA. He knows how fast word travels around in desi communities so he doesn’t want to do anything in public, but fuck when he gets home he’s pinning you on the bed and resting his entire weight on you.

At eid as stated above^^ he’ll see you in your lengha or kurti and get INSANELY nervous and flustered at your beauty. The way you sit poised and laughing with Mina and ochako while your mehndi is being done makes his palms sweat and his armpits prickly. He has to wipe them on his kameez almost three times before taking one last look at you and walking away.

Well, at least he tries to walk away. He’s promptly sought out and grabbed by his three cronies, who drag him by nail and tooth towards you. No amount of swearing and growling threats to ‘blow their ass up so bad people will piecing them back together for weeks” stops them from bringing him closer to you.

“Yeah yeah, you said that already,” Denki smirks and playfully zaps his ass so that he helps and lurches forwards towards you.

The commotion makes the girls look up and wave excitedly when they spot the rowdy men.

You bite your lip and give Bakugo a meek little grin, which makes steam curl from his ears.

“Heyyy ladiesss, got room for one more?” Sero drawls and throws an arm over the simmering grenade of a man.

“Hmm,” Mina mockingly contemplates for a minute before she slowly starts to get up, uraraka following pursuit. “Not at the moment, but maybe we could make some room…” she tackles Bakugo and Kirishima also kicks the back of his knees so that he folds cleanly into the chair next to you.

You look bewildered at everybody while they snicker at Bakugo’s vermillion face.

He glared at them and after an oblivious moment or two they get the hint and wink before backing off.

“So, uh, how long have you been getting your hand done for?”

You grin at his inexperience with these kinds of things, but still indulge him.

“About 25 minutes or so.”

“25 min-“ his eyes grow wide and the whole hall turns to him as he screams at your poor designer for making you ‘sit on her cute ass for such a goddamn long time. And why the hell doesn’t she have food yet??’

At least he thought you were cute

💓💓

[alottanothing]

Kismet

Summary: Evie prepares a meal for the stranger who helped her and finds herself more than a little smitten.

Previous Part: Hope

Word Count: 5707

Warnings: Language

Tag List: @ramilicious, @txmel, @edteche2, @gloriousdarkangelsworld, @diasimar, @xmxisxforxmaybe (Let me know if I missed you, or if you would like to be added to the tag list)

A/N: Okay, I almost didn't get this up today because I was up most of the night sewing kilts for Highland Weekend at the Ohio Renfiare. BUT I stayed awake and did my final read-through, so this should be mostly okay. I skipped a couple steps in my editing to get this up on time but I think, for the most part, it's okay. If you see a grammatical booboo, just ignore it, I'll get in here sometime this week with my other two editing steps and find it, then repost this. Capisce? Okay, cool...now. I hope you enjoy it, I also hope my trying to phonetically write Mer's accent doesn't get too annoying. I know you really shouldn't write accents, but I think it helps add to the characters. And I do try to keep it to a minimum so it doesn't get annoying. Thanks for the love the first part received last month! I know waiting so long between updates is a bit sad after weekly updates with LtR. But life is busy right now and once a month is all can guarantee.

Jonny did not know how to keep a house.

In fact, Jonny did not know how to do much more than drink, argue, and get into fights. He was nothing but a thorn in Evie's side—never mind how much she needed him for a place to lay her head. A necessary thorn was still a thorn. Given the opportunity, she would rip it out as soon as she could and dress the wound promptly so she was finally able to heal better. She stayed only because she had no other choice. And every time Jonny raised his voice or stumbled in reeking of alcohol and red-faced, Evie could hear her best friend's warning in her head. Cynthia had begged her not to go with him, but she hadn't listened.

Oh, how she wished she had.

Luckily, Jonny wasn't the kind of man who liked to stay home which eased the ache of the ever-present thorn in her side. Whatever money he did have, he spent out on the town—the town being New Orleans. Like Evie, Jonny had been born and raised in the Big Apple, the noise and the chaos was part of him. As such, he hadn't taken to the quiet suburban life Bridge City offered as well as Evie. She liked the quiet, easy flow of the sleepy town. Her housemate loathed his new home. He thrived in disarray, thus, he found a group of like-minded young men to run amok with in the neighboring metropolis every chance he got.

If Jonny had been any sort of amicable company, the notion of him leaving most every night to wreak havoc several miles away would have been upsetting. Thankfully, his penchant for city life meant a good portion of Evie's days were spent out from under Jonny's tyranny. The hours he was gone were blissful and calm, and she relished in them. Whether she was creating art or tending to chores around the old house, Evie didn't care as long as Jonny wasn't there—never mind how lonely the routine often was.

Evie had never gotten the chance to meet Jonny's maternal grandmother, though she suspected she would have liked to. Unlike her grandson, she seemed like any other sweet elderly woman judging by the furnishings she'd left behind. There were dozens of lace doilies, and table cloths with soft patterns, decretive china even, but it was the plethora of photos the old woman kept that told Evie she'd carried a kindly heart. All of them were kept in pristine albums or intricate frames; they were the only barbles that seemed to have been cleaned or dusted with any regularity which spoke of how much she must have treasured them. Evie loved those tiny trinkets and black and white memories. It didn't matter that they were not her legacy of family heirlooms to keep, she adored them anyway.

She couldn't count the number of times she'd replaced a broken frame that had fallen victim to Jonny's drunken belligerence or scrubbed tirelessly at a stain he'd left on the patterned tablecloths. It proved to be a hefty undertaking, but dwelling in the fantasies of someone else's history let her forget the grief of her own. She was willing to sacrifice a little elbow grease if it allowed her mind to roam away from the shadow that never really seemed to vanish.

For all the effort Evie put in on the interior, the cottage held little in the way of curb appeal. The porch was sunken in the middle, the paint was peeling off in chunks, and the yard was mostly weeds. Worst, however, was the screen door which squeaked so loudly, every dog in the neighborhood howled in protest every time someone crossed the threshold. The outside needed love that Evie simply didn't have the energy to lend. Despite the grit, however, the foundations were sturdy enough that she didn't worry. The cottage proved to be stronger than she looked—a feat Evie felt she had in common with the old house. And while it was a swell enough place to rest her head, it never truly felt like home. Home was somewhere safe, and as long as Jonny lived under that roof she wasn't safe. Not really.

Fortunately, Jonny wasn't home when Evie returned after her run-in with Mr. Shelton—Mer, she corrected herself with a hint of a giddy smile. Without her housemate there, her evening promised to be hopeful instead of lonely, and she wasted no time in figuring out what to make for dinner.

With her red pumps replaced by her worn-in slippers and her blue checkered apron secured around her waist, she set a pot of water to boil and dialed the phone conveniently located in the kitchen. Every evening she called her sister-in-law to pass the time and keep up on unimportant gossip back home; this time, however, Evie was excited to finally have some good news to share.

"You got the job, didn't you?" Cynthia Clarke asked on the other end, sounding hopeful. "I knew you would."

Evie grinned, still amazed how the sound of Cyn's voice always seemed to settle some of the ever-present anxieties buzzing in her head. She missed her friend so much.

"I didn't even say yes."

"Did you or did you not get the job?" Cynthia pressed.

"I did," Evie confirmed and her smile grew hearing her friend cheer on the other end of the phone.

"See! I knew it." Cynthia said. "My gut feeling is always right."

Evie rolled her eyes and shook her head fondly.

"I think I'm gonna like working there too, so that's good." she mused as she stood at the stove, eyeing the pot of water she’d set to boil.

"That's so great, Ev. I'm so proud of you." Cynthia paused before continuing. "So, what are you up to tonight? Avoiding Jonny?"

"Sorta," Evie nodded even though she knew her friend wouldn't see.

As she continued to watch her cooking pot of water she told Cynthia all about her trouble with Jonny's car and the man who'd been so kind to help her.

"Wait. You invited the stranger over who fixed the car?" Concern was heavy in Cyn's voice, and Evie half expected a lecture to follow.

Despite knowing each other since childhood, Cynthia had taken on the role of her protector since Evie's family was no longer in the picture. The war had claimed Evie's father, and brother—although they'd never found her brother, Jimmy after he disappeared behind enemy lines. Evie never lost hope that Jimmy would one day be found, Cynthia though, was certain her husband was never coming home. After Cyn’s brother, Charlie, died at Normandy Cynthia had difficulty believing anyone was going to make it home. As for Evie's mother, losing a child and her husband to the war was too much for her tender heart and she passed not long after. Ever since, Cynthia was overcome with the need to act as Evie's guardian.

"He wouldn't let me pay him," Evie explained. "So I'm making him dinner—it seemed like the least I could do."

"I suppose…." Cynthia didn't sound convinced, if anything she sounded slightly irritated there was no quick way for her to argue the logic. "Just be careful, Evie. You don't know this guy—he could be another Jonny Doyle. Or worse."

"He's not," Evie said quickly. She wanted nothing more than to tell her friend all about how benevolent Mer was, but she decided against it. Cynthia would only argue that point somehow.

A long pause followed, and Evie wedged the receiver between her ear and shoulder so her hands were free to work on the meal.

"So, what are you cooking?" This time, there was a hint of jest in her friend's tone when she spoke.

The art of cooking was one creative outlet that Evie struggled with, second only to music. In her youth, her mother did all the cooking—it was a passion of her mother's—thus Evie had done little more than watch in wonder as her mother whipped up meal after meal effortlessly. Breakfast she the meal she was probably best at, apple pies too, but anything beyond that Evie required a step by step guide to prepare. And even then she lacked confidence. Thankfully, when she'd fled south, she remembered to grab her mother's cookbook. It was a cumbersome tome with yellowed pages and notes scribbled into the margins: a piece of art itself cultivated over years of collecting recipe after recipe starting the moment her mother stepped off the boat that brought her from Ireland. And like a witch and her spellbook, Evie depended on it.

"Spaghetti with garlic bread," Evie admitted feeling as though the meal lacked a certain something.

Pasta was something she knew held a low degree of difficulty when it came to preparing. Surely she couldn't mess up pasta.

“Mmm, I can almost smell it,” Cynthia said.

“Shut up.”

“No, seriously,” Cyn replied. “You’re mom’s spaghetti recipe was always my favorite.”

A doleful smile pulled at the corners of her lips, thinking back to her mother happily cooking in the kitchen as she sang a Celtic tune. It seemed strange that those moments would never again play out, instead they’d become bittersweet memories Evie could only relive in her mind.

“Mine too,” she murmured, suddenly missing her family.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, and Evie’s mind roamed the dregs of her grief before blinking back into reality and the hope of something happy to come.

“I need to go, Cyn,” Evie told her friend with a sigh. “I don’t want to burn the garlic bread.”

Cynthia chuckled and said her goodbye, only after making Evie promise to call her in the morning to let her know how everything went.

With her second hand restored after hanging up, Evelyn reached for her mother’s cookbook to give the steps another look over to ensure she had done everything and added every herb and ingredient she was supposed to. She’d followed everything perfectly, even factoring in the little notes scribbled into the margins left there by her mother—those she smiled at fondly and traced the fading ink with her fingers. Everything was as it should be. Even so, without a taste, Evie knew the sauce she had prepared would never be as savory as what her mother made so effortlessly.

“You were the artist in the kitchen, Ma,” she said with a shrug. “I’ll stick to paper and canvas.”

For the smallest of a moment Evie thought she would hear the warmth of her mother’s laugh, and when it never came she sighed again, trying not to dwell on the shadows behind her. What mattered was the light ahead.

Despite her lack of confidence, the meal came together without any severe hiccups. The noodles were not overcooked, the sauce was a complementing mix of savory and sweet (though, as she had guessed after a tiny taste, was not nearly as good as her mother's) and the garlic bread was nicely golden. A small tingle of pride manifested in the form of a surprised, but satisfied, smile as she surveyed the dinner before her.

“Not bad, Ev,” she told herself, knowing her mother would have been delighted.

With the cooking done, Evie threw a glance over her shoulder to the clock mounted on the wall, triggering a surge of anxiety to bubble in her gut. Stranger, perhaps, was the amount of excitement coursing through her veins. It was as though all of her happiness was riding on whether or not she would see Merriell again. None of it made sense; the man was little more than a stranger. The coupling of nerves and delight was not a feeling that put her ill at ease, however. She trusted it. And it was that peculiar sensation that seemed to fuel her movements.

With a few minutes to spare, Evie wandered into the small bathroom to freshen up. She made sure her hair was still pinned the way she liked—up and pretty. Her make-up was holding up nicely despite the heat; all she needed was a fresh layer of lipstick to complete the illusion of a put-together young lady. It wasn't often she wore a dress with heels and a face of cosmetics—she liked to when the opportunity arose, but she was just as comfortable in a pair of old overalls and smudges of charcoal on her face.

Just as she wiggled back into her red pumps—discarding her worn-in house slippers with a couple of calculated kicks—a knock on the door signaled Merriells arrival. Immediately a grin curled onto Evie's lips and her heart began to pound an anxious-excited rhythm. A blush threatened to color her cheeks to give away the torrid muscle beating in her chest—her ever yearning heart already making leaps and bounds for a man she had known for mere hours.

Don't be ridiculous—she warned herself taking in a deep breath to curb the eagerness coursing in her veins. Untying her apron, she tossed it along with her discarded slippers and went to answer the door, taking one last deep breath to steady the fervor in her heart.

Merriell had changed and showered. The sweet bouquet of his shampoo coupled invitingly with the musk of the aftershave he'd chosen, making it difficult for Evie to keep from soaking in the scent he carried. His curls were still somewhat damp—too much moisture in the air to keep the heat from drying them on his way over—though they fought to spring back into their previous fluff. The grease-covered, jeans he'd been wearing had been replaced by a nice pair of tan slacks, and the buttoned shirt he wore was a soft shade of green that made his eyes glitter a deeper emerald as he stood under the glow of the porch light. All Evie could do was stare—utterly beguiled—every rational thought in her head lost to her.

Mer smirked, amused by her ogling. "Hiya."

Evie blinked, coming back to reality, suddenly feeling foolish, and uttered a nervous "hi" before swinging her arm to invite him inside.

"Come in."

Merriell's smile grew as he crossed the threshold, inhaling deeply. "Mm, smells tasty in here."

He gently forced a bottle into her hands as he passed on his way to investigate the savory smells in the kitchen.

"I wasn' sho what ya was makin', but I figured wine usually goes with anythin'."

"Oh, thank you." Evie glanced at the label, unable to read the French words printed there. "You didn't have to bring anything."

"I know," Mer shrugged, placing his hands in his pockets. "I just wanted to make a good impression."

There was something almost boyish when he smiled then—cheeks coloring pink ever-so-slightly—that made him even more of a mystery. One Evie was eager to solve.

"Well," she said placing the bottle on the kitchen table. "It should go perfectly with dinner."

His expression lost a hint of its boyish charm as it grew into a look of delight.

"Make yourself at home," Evie gestured vaguely between the table and the sofa in the living room as she ventured to the cabinet where the stemware was kept.

She placed two crystal glasses on the table along with the wine and retraced her steps to fetch some of the nicer china Jonny's grandmother had kept. Mer watched her, his gaze, gentle and attentive, and a little bit yearning as she methodically sat the table.

"Need help with anythin'?" he asked finally.

"Nope," She replied with a smile. "Everything is almost ready."

The hearty red sauce on the stove was beginning to boil again which told her it was hot enough to serve, and Evie eyed the pot with scrutiny, praying silently her attempt at cooking would go over well.

"I'll pour us a glass then," Mer announced.

"Great, lemme…" Evie spun to fish for the corkscrew in the drawer of misfit utensils, finding it, only to turn to see Merriell holding his lighter against the neck of the dark bottle just below the cork.

Before she could ask, a loud pop sounded, causing her to jump as the cork went flying.

"Oh my goodness!" she laughed, a little surprised, a little impressed. "Where did you learn to do that?"

Mer shrugged, a sly expression on his features, and left her question unanswered.

"How much ya want?" He held the open bottle over the top of her glass, waiting patiently.

"Enough," she said, tossing him a coy smirk without really meaning to.

He bit his lower lip as he smiled, chuckling under his breath when he poured a generous glass of red wine for each of them. She thanked him as he took his seat and grabbed his plate to dish out their dinner.

"How much pasta would you like?"

Mer's face lit with charm and mischief as he turned to face her.

"Enough," he grinned.

The expression on his face was playful, his smirk devious and amused by his own response and his cheekiness settled warmly in Evie's stomach. Not only did she revel in it, but she also played into his whimsy and scooped as much spaghetti into his plate as she could before coupling it with the savory sauce and a slice of bread.

Despite being only strangers, the atmosphere that bloomed that evening was not marked by any hint of bashfulness, instead, it was relaxed and amiable. Warmth that Evie had longed to dwell in again—that unrefutable kindness she'd lost with the passing of her family—flowed uninhibited from the man sitting adjacent to her. His conversation was cautious but still jovial and genuine. It was the first time since running south Evie could recall what life felt like without grief and fear weighing upon her. Merriell was a stranger, but she felt safe with him. Jonny had never made her feel that way.

"So," Evie spoke as she twirled the last bit of pasta with her fork. "What is it you do, Mr. Shelton?"

Mer cast her a look of disapproval—no doubt in retaliation to being addressed so formally—before his features softened back into a neutral, yet somehow still amused side smirk.

"Nothin' too excitin'," he stated vaguely. "The odd jobs are what I like ta do the most—like fixin' ya car this aftah noon."

Without really meaning to, Evie leaned forward, resting her elbow and chin on the table, utterly enchanted by the beautiful stranger at her table.

"You like to get your hands dirty, huh? Fixing things?" she was entirely too intrigued with the thought of what he could do with his hands.

He shrugged, suddenly modest after a foray of playfully arrogant smirks and glances. It made him abruptly twice as charming.

"I've always had a knack for it, I guess." Merriell finished the food on his plate with the help of his remaining garlic bread to mop up the sauce still left on his dish.

"What about you?" he asked after chewing. "Ya workin' anywhere?"

All at once, a proud smile lit up Evie's face. After all the excitement of seeing Merriell again, she'd almost forgotten about her good news.

"Actually, I just got a job today—the general store downtown, Southern Comfort."

Mer's face lit up too, "Birdie's place?"

"Yeah, you know it?" Of course, he knows it! She thought, Bridge City's population was slightly less than the number of people who lived in a single district back home in New York. Everyone knew everyone else.

"Sho do—I was practically raised there…ole Birdie's like a second mothah to me."

"Really?" Evie found a great deal of comfort in that notion. In fact the more she thought on it, the more she realized how similar the old woman and Mer were; they radiated the same magnetism and sincerity.

"Mmhm," he nodded, his eyes focusing elsewhere as the veil of memories danced across the contours of his features. "My mama used ta work there…once upon a time…"

"Does she still work there?"

Merriell's face lost a hit of its levity and he swallowed as though to fight off the onslaught of sudden emotion threatening to cast a shadow onto his expression.

"No…" he said softly. "She—uh—she died, about a year ago."

Shit!

Abruptly, sick knots twisted into Evie's stomach, feeling callous, but understanding of the quiet misery he hid under layers of charm and arrogance.

"Merriell, I'm…I'm sorry—I didn't mean…"

He met her eyes and cast her a quick smile—doleful, but enough to ease the awful feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"It's okay," he reassured her, reaching for his glass of wine and taking a good gulp before changing the subject. "Birdie's great—you'll enjoy workin' for her."

"I hope so…" Evie said softly, still too embarrassed to meet Mer's glance longer than a second or two.

For the first time all night the atmosphere they shared felt cumbersome—perhaps more melancholy—than she'd wanted it to get. Evie sat, worrying her bottom lip, her fingers toying with a loose thread in the table cloth as she stole quick glances through her lashes in Mer's direction.

He was nursing the alcohol in his glass with the same sadness she'd caught plaguing him as he sat at the bar hours ago. And while Evie was eager to know if his grief stemmed only from the loss of his mother, or perhaps more, Merriell was still too much of a stranger to warrant such questions. It didn't matter how easy it was to be near him, she had not earned the right to know his narrative.

A soft sigh broke past her lips as she fought to find a way to properly allay the gloom that was quickly ruining an otherwise wonderful evening. It wasn't until her eyes found their desert sitting on the counter, waiting to save the day, that she perked up.

"Got any room for apple pie?" Evie asked with a hesitant smile. She hoped he wanted to stay long enough to have a slice, though she would not have blamed him for wanting to leave.

Immediately Mer perked up too, the shadows on his features retreating with the promise of something sweet.

"I was countin' on it—seems as how you promised a slice earlier," he said with a boyish grin.

When she stood, he did too, helping clear away their dinner plates, and letting them soak in the sink to be washed later. Evie cut them each a slice of apple pie and the delight on Mer’s face made her smile too seeing him lick his lips as his grin continued to grow. Catching that flash of his tongue was like a bolt of hot lightning striking her without warning; a blush rose so quickly on her cheeks Evie had to look away to keep the blunder a secret. Thankfully, the pie was more than enough to hold Merriell’s attention away from her.

“Mmmm… Almost looks too good to eat,” he said ogling the desert in front of him.

When Evie chanced a look his way, the expression on his face caused her to chuckle, “‘oughta be, I made one for my pa every year for his birthday since I was nine. It’s probably the only thing I have any confidence in making in the kitchen.”

“Coulda fooled me,” Mer quipped as he loaded his fork with as much pie as he could.

The moment he took a bite, his brows creased, and eyes closed as he chewed painfully slow. Those few seconds were like agony. Evie’s heart was pounding in her chest with so much anticipation she feared she might faint as she watched him sample the only thing she could actually make that was worth a damn.

“Fuck me, if that ain’t the best apple pie I’ve evah had the pleasure of tasting.”

A somewhat nervous, but relieved chuckle sounded in the back of Evelyn’s throat as she watched Merriell shovel a larger bite of pie into his mouth.

“Mmm… Yep. God damn delightful.”

“Stop,” Evie said sheepishly, suddenly afraid he was overselling his reaction to keep from hurting her feelings.

“No,” he wiped his mouth and leaned across the table to meet her gaze with a sincere expression that stole away all the doubt writhing in her stomach.

“I mean it. If I wasn’t so full of pasta, I’d eat that whole damn pie right now.”

“Well,” Evie grinned softly, trying not to let her blush color her cheeks too obviously. “Thank you. And you’re welcome to take the rest of it when you go.”

Excitement took form on his face with a smirk that was sweet but roguish all at once—a sort of debonair charm that amplified his magnetism—as if his bright eyes dark curls and razor-sharp jaw did not make him alluring enough already. Again she had to look away knowing the pink in her cheeks would be too strong to combat.

“Imma have ta take ya up on that offah. An’ I’ll be thinkin’ ‘bout you every time I cut me a slice.”

That blush was unstoppable; her heart was suddenly so smitten, it felt as though butterflies were fluttering merrily in her stomach. She felt weightless with warmth and hope swelling in her bosom, fearing any slight breeze would carry her off. It was ridiculous how at ease Evie felt sitting there eating pie with a complete stranger. The conversation had been easy all night; even when it had delved into less savory topics he still made her feel comfortable. Evelyn had forgotten what it was like to be in the company of a man who wasn’t easy to anger, who was genuine and kind and wanted only to live in the moment.

For a time the whimsy of the atmosphere faded as the warmth in her heart ached, suddenly missing her brother James and Cynthia's brother Charlie. Both of them were good men, kind and genuine—like Merriell—but they had been swallowed by the rages of war. Brave young men were lost forever, while a man like Jonny Doyle was still alive How was that fair?

No matter how pleasant her thoughts could be, they always fell back to the grief that plagued her. She sighed, deeply, pushing those intrusive memories back into the depths of her mind so she could find joy once more in the moment with a kind stranger.

When Merrill finished his plate he made a beeline for the sink full of soaking dishes.

“Oh, no,” she said jumping to her feet. “I can do those.”

Merriell, however, shook his head. “Uh-uh, you did the cookin’, I can do the cleanin’.”

When Evie tried to argue, Mer simply shook his head, his grin amused but determined as he kept scrubbing the dirty dishes.

“Let me help at least,” she suggested. “I’ll dry and put them away.”

Before he could protest, she snatched the freshly rinsed dish from his hand and began wiping away the droplets of water clinging to the porcelain surface, throwing him a smug smirk that made him chuckle.

“Alright,“ he smirked.

She watched him for a moment not really paying attention to her task as he scrubbed the old plates clean, overcome with a blissful vision of peaceful domesticity. It made her stomach fill to the brim with whimsy and her heart was fluttering again; had this stranger bewitched her already? Or did what she feel bubbling lightly in her gut like a seltzer stem from an end to her loneliness—even if it was only for a few hours? Evelyn didn’t know. Nevertheless, she was intrigued with a profound feeling and she wanted to dwell in it for as long as she could.

Occasionally as he would hand a freshly washed dish her way, his calloused fingertips would brush against her skin, igniting a spark she didn’t know how to react to. It was more than an amicable tingle racing from the tips of her fingers right to her heart. And each time they touched, Merriell would cast her a gentle smile that held nothing more than his inherent charm and magnetism. She wondered if he felt it too, or if her need for companionship was playing a dirty trick on her.

When the dishes were all back in their usual places—the night drawing to a close—Evelyn realized she was not ready to say farewell to her Beautiful Stranger. She longed to stay up all night just chatting with him, she did not care about what, Evelyn only wanted to stay encompassed a while longer in the blissful warmth he brought into her life. Once he was gone, all she would be able to do was stay up and ponder the significance of those little touches and the sparks they brought.

Thankfully, Merriell lingered on the old rickety porch, one hand in his pocket, the other holding onto his plate of leftover pie, seeming to stall their inevitable departure.

“Well,” he said with a grin. “Thank you for invitin’ a stranger ovah for dinna.” He paused, glancing at the leftover pie in his hand. “Can’t recall ever having a better plate of pasta, an’ nothin’ evah gonna beat this pie.”

Evie quickly looked at her feet to hide another blush.

“It was the least I could do,” she told him before looking back to meet his eyes. “You have no idea how much of a savior you were this afternoon…”

A glint of concern flashed in his eye, his brows beginning to crease as his unspoken question lingered between them.

She thought about telling him—telling him how Jonny was nothing more than a throne in her side, and how much she cherished Merriells company—but Mer was still a stranger. It wasn’t right to unload so much onto someone she’d only known for a few hours.

Before Mer could offer any reply, the sound of screeching tires stole all their focus as an old wagon pulled along the curb—narrowly missing a collision with the mailbox. The rowdy passengers were laughing and shouting loud enough even before the door opened to let Jonny stumble out. He staggered on drunk feet and screamed a handful of profanities to his buddies in the car which made them all roar with laughter.

It was only after the wagon full of hooligans pulled away that Jonny began to stagger towards the house, and it was exactly then that Evie’s fluttering heart became consumed with panic.

She and Mer watched him cross the yard, unseen, both frozen: Evie in fear and Merriell in confusion. Jonny’s intoxication level inhibited him from taking notice of them until he was at the base of the steps leading onto the porch. Immediately, his eyes narrowed and he frowned.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Jonny, this is Mr. Merriell Shelton,” Evie said quickly, willing her voice not to shake.

The Doyle’s were not known for their hospitality, nor were they known to trust most people. Especially strangers.

“He helped me this afternoon with a bit of trouble I was having,” she explained vaguely, hoping to thwart any more suspicion. “I made him dinner to say thank you—he’s just about to leave.”

Jonny eyed Merriell, seizing him up as best he could through drunken lenses. Mer stood his ground, eyeing him back with a subtle intensity that never so much as cracked under Jonny’s scrutiny.

Finally, being the better man, Mer held out his hand in a friendly manner, “nice ta meet ya.”

Jonny cast a prolonged glare at Merriell's open hand, his brows furrowed and part of his lip hiked up in a sort of snarl. Instead of returning the kind gesture, Jonny made a show of spitting at his feet before tossing his heavy leer at Evelyn.

"Evie, do not invite any more strangers into my house. I don't care if they are dying." He shoved past them both, purposely bumping Mer's shoulder (most likely in hopes to start something) muttering as he went: "I don't trust any of these filthy southerners."

Shock sent Evie's jaw slack; this time the redness in her cheeks was a symptom of embarrassment instead of infatuation. She should have known Jonny would say something rude and uncouth. Without another thought, she grabbed Mer by his sleeve and pulled him across the lawn until they stood next to his truck parked along the curb.

"I am so sorry about him," she said, crossing her arms and glaring at Jonny's house, ashamed and angry.

Mer shrugged as he placed his partially eaten pie in the passenger seat through the open window before fixing his hands in his front pockets.

"Ya boyfriend's a bit of an asshole."

"He is not my boyfriend," Evie corrected vehemently. "I don't think he knows that though. I'm just staying here until I can figure some things out."

Merriell was quiet a moment, nodding silently. It seemed as though he was taking his time processing the whole situation. There was compassion on his face and behind his eyes, but it was guarded somehow. Evie caught it though and she was grateful when he didn't ask the questions plainly forming in his mind.

"Well," he said finally, his tone light as one corner of his mouth quirked into a grin. "Since he ain't ya othah half, I feel more inclined ta leave ya with this…"

Gently, Merriell caressed her upper arm as he leaned forward to plant a tender kiss on her cheek. He let his lips linger slightly longer than was common for such an act, that all at once wove a new hopefulness into her heart.

"Dinna was swell," he added as he pulled away, his smile somehow more charming than it had been all night. "Hope I see ya again, Evie."

"Me too," she murmured.

Evie watched as he got in his truck to leave, her hand held to the cheek he'd graced with his kiss. And when he drove away, it took everything inside of her to keep from running after him.

[hitozy]

all you who sleep tonight ‹ masterlist › he and i

𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

Sharing a bedroom had proven to be of no bother for either parties. Iwaizumi had feared it would be a bit awkward given that they weren't romantically involved, but his worries were a bit useless, YN had made it easy and comfortable for the both of them.

Cohabitating and sharing was starting to make him feel different as well. He couldn't really put a name on it, but it started when he began to see the little things around him.

Going into the bathroom and finding his toothbrush beside yn's. Her towel hanging beside his, the shower containing his and yn's products, he accidentally tried yn's body wash and ended up liking the smell and exfoliating that he mentioned to yn if she could buy more. She had giggled but agreed, mentioning the different types that there were which ended up in both of them starting to shop together after work and school.

He found himself staring at her as she looked over the products, making sure they are the right ones. Or when she pouts for Iwaizumi to have a heart and let her buy junk food (which he always does). Or when he opens the closet door to find his clothes beside hers, the contrast of variety and color always making him smile.

Or when he wakes up earlier than his alarm, turning his head to find her beside him. His eyes travelling from her hair sprawled around her pillow, her hands clutching said pillow up to her shoulders, watching the goosebumps appearing on her skin. Eyes travelling down to always find the bedsheet pooling under her waist and he never knows why or how. He would pull the sheet up, cover you as he watches you let out a soft sigh and a content smile that never fails to make his heart flutter.

It makes him wonder if he's always felt this way, and if not, since when?

―

Jae hasn't stopped calling him.

He thought that after the discussion they had at yn's parents last week would be enough to get her off his back, but it proved to be pointless and he was beginning to think that she did not leave the house by her own assessment.

Mr. and Mrs. LN must have sent her home after listening to her horrible criticism of their daughter. Something she had done in the past and never failed to sour his mood. He didn't know what her problem was, but he knew she was lying about everything concerning you, learning it was best to ignore her comments than correct her.

It was on the third day that he felt his patience snap. She had been calling him relentlessly to the point that the coach had asked him to take the call, 'It could be an emergency.' He disregarded it as spam calls and was left alone once he placed his cell the profile in vibration, so even though it was vibrating non-stop, at least everyone else couldn't hear it.

Once it was lunch break I pulled out my phone.

53 missed calls from Jae

15 voicemails probably from Jae

27 texts from Jae

He ignored Jae's attempts in communicating with him, deleting everything in one go and focusing on a little one who had also been trying to get in touch with him a while ago.

1 missed call from mochi mochi

3 texts from mochi mochi

mochi mochi: omg sorry! I forgot that you're in training rn mochi mochi: I was calling to let you know that I'm heading to the library for school work D: mochi mochi: letting you know because you wanted to pick me up today, i'll go home later dw! have a lovely day hajime♥

His little mochi was a bit selfless sometimes. He was going to text you back, but his irritation from Jae's insistency was rubbing him wrong all over his body so he thought best to call you and let your voice sooth his nerves.

"Hajime! Good morning, is anything wrong?" Just like that, he felt his frustrations be washed away at the sound of your voice, like cold water running all over him.

"Morning mochi, I saw your text, everything all right?" Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the athletes and the coaches acting as if they weren't listening but the way their bodies were leaning towards him gave it away.

He had half a mind at telling them to mind their own business.

"Ah, well, we got a request from the film majors to help out with their project scripts and we weren't actually going to do it, since we already have enough stuff as is," he recalls the nights he would come in late, watching you giving it your all even if you finished at 3am, he was worried about your health during that time and after your breakdown, he had a reason to be worried now, "luckily we are working in large teams, sadly I'm doing the rough draft."

"Sounds rough, mochi. Anything I can do to help?"

In an almost timid manner, she asked softly "Keep me company?"

How could he reject?

―

Once he hung up, one of the senior coaches passed behind him and smack his hand on his back with a grin, "The ol' ball 'n chain, huh? You should go and buy her something to eat today, having to tolerate your ass. Now come on, we have a team to train for a win."

―

11:45 pm

He had brought her favorite food and drink to the school library, sneaking to the back to eat and not get caught by anyone there. It look familiar yet very different from the one back in California, when he would stay until early morning studying on the weekends, with you doing the same in the video call in front of him.

Now your right in front of him, physically and mentally in his presence. He had been working on some stuff from work as you continued your studies and felt relived and in peace in the comfortable silence but, it had been a while since he had finished it all and he soon found himself staring at you.

The shape of your eyes, your soft hair, your nose, your soft lips, the curve of neck, the way your shirt shaped your breasts...

He mentally slapped himself at that thought, why- why the hell is he thinking of your breasts? Since when is he thinking about it? Why-

"Ah! I didn't even notice the time, let's go Hajime... are you okay?"

"Yeah, um why?"

"Your face is all red", she came to stand in front of him, touching his forehead, "hmm, you don't have a fever... maybe you're just tired? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to stay for so long." Her soft cold hand felt nice against his face as she rubbed her thumb up and down his forehead.

He remembered that she used to do this when she was younger, "You have to stop doing that Hajime!," she would exclaim as she rubbed his forehead in a similar matter as now, "You'll get wrinkles too young!"

The old memory made him laugh, your expression back then mirrored to present day. "What so funny?"

He smiled and took all of your stuff from the table, taking your hand in his, "Nothing, lets just go home, mochi."

Can you hear my heart? Oh, but I can tell! We are twin starts With different births. My caring shadow ― It has your face. The voice of my soul Knows well your name.

Tell me, Can you hear my heart? Oh! how I love you, My best friend.

Twin Stars ― Clairel Estevez

taglist ! @daphnxy @zukoslosthishonor​ @i-am-a-hoe-for-shinya @mrsdoradominguez-barnes @anejuuuuoy

a/n! i beat the system so here's a chapter guys ♥ also... since i couldn't post one last week, there will be a double post this one!

[spencers-dria]

Turn for the Better

Someone To Stay Ch. 1

Spencer x fem!reader

Spencer POV:

I open my eyes and glance around the room. It's darker than I remember. I must have fallen asleep reading on the couch again. I glance down and see a pile of books on the rug. Oh yeah...I only made it through about four books this time before I nodded off. I sigh in frustration that I'm awake. Might as well get up I suppose.

I wander into the kitchen and pull open the fridge only to be met with a jar of peanut butter, week old left overs, and a half empty jug of juice. Next.

I try again with the pantry. Almost completely bare. I guess this is what happens when you stop going to the grocery store. I settle on a cup of apple juice and a bag of chips... better than nothing right?

I slump back down onto the couch and pull my green wool blanket over me. As I stare up at my ceiling, as I begin to let my mind wander. But this was dangerous territory. I have to keep my mind occupied, I just have to. So I quickly sit back up and turn the TV to one of my favorite Dr. Who episodes. They say that anxious people re-watch the same shows because they find the familiarity comforting. I could definitely understand the feeling.

It was the weekend, which meant I wasn't called into work. Cases had been slow lately, as we spent quite a bit of time doing paperwork back at the office. Unfortunately for me, this meant less distractions. Distractions were good. Distractions were necessary. They are the only way I make it through the days anymore.

Things had finally returned to normal for me back at work. I was going into the field, and it felt like my coworkers were no longer tiptoeing around me. I hate when they do that, and it bothers me more than any amount of teasing ever could. I'm not so delicate, so easily breakable. Look at everything I have been through, everything I have endured. Yet here I am, still alive, still doing my job. I didn't need to be babied. So it was a relief when I felt the regular rapport I shared with my friends return. They had gone back to the sarcastic remarks and silly nicknames. I was grateful for it. They did, however, continue to check up on me. This was something that I did appreciate. They've seen me go down a dark road once before. I have no intentions of ever returning. I was stronger than that... I think. All I know is I have held on this long without resorting to any unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Coping mechanisms...oh how I wish I had something to make the healing process easier. Having a fairly empty social calendar left me alone often. Normally I would find comfort in the peace and quiet of my solitary apartment, but not quite so much lately. I couldn't very well make plans to go out, and I wouldn't even know how to begin to do that. Who would want to hang out with me right now anyways? I'd be a damper on the fun, and everyone knows it. That's probably why my friends stopped inviting me to the nights at the bar.

There I go again, letting my mind slip into a dark hole of anxiety. Its not a safe place to be. I quickly turn my attention back to the show in front of me, letting it drown out all other thoughts.

The ring of my phone quickly draws my attention away. Finally...another case! I jump up to answer, seeing the name on my screen: Derek Morgan. That's odd. Usually Hotch or Garcia call to notify us of a new case.

"Hello?" I answer, confusion lacing my voice.

"Pretty Boy! Buzz me up!"

Well now I'm even more confused. Derek never comes to my apartment. I quickly press the button letting him into the building and opening my apartment door, waiting for him to arrive.

As he comes up the stairs, he gives me a grin shouting, "Come on man! Get dressed. We're goin' out!"

I roll my eyes and retreat back into the apartment, Derek close behind me.

I sink back onto the couch, my eyes glued to the television as I tune him out.

"Aw c'mon. Don't be like that. How long have you been sitting there watching TV? Have you done anything else today, at all?"

I don't answer, I don't even look at him.

"Oh, let me guess. You've been reading all day, huh?"

"Wow, can't get anything past you huh?" I say dryly, regretting my tone as soon as the words left my mouth.

"Alright that it. You've been cooped up in here too long. Like I said before, we're going out. And I'm not taking no for an answer" he says sternly, raising an eyebrow at me.

I finally look up at him as I roll my eyes.

"You know I can kick your ass right?" Derek smirks.

"Fine" I concede. "Well...where are we going? I don't know what to wear unless you tell me what our plans are."

"Don't pretend you don't wear the same fancy button ups no matter where you end up going."

I let out a small laugh...he's got me there.

"Dinner at Rossi's. I know pretty boys are high maintenance but, hurry up or you'll make us late!" I smile at the nickname. Same old Derek.

Y/N POV:

You let out a sigh of relief as you watched your coworker approach you, ready to receive report. It had been a particularly busy shift, and you were ready to get some much-needed rest. You walked to each patient room, giving Clementine summary of the day and the latest updates on labs and vital signs. You stepped into each room with her, checking one last time to make sure each of your patients was doing well and didn't need anything else before you left. Normally you and Clem would spend some time catching up and making jokes, but she could tell you were tired and needed to be home more than anything. You wished her good luck on her shift as you made your way to the break room. After putting away your stethoscope and the large collection of pens, pencils, and markers you kept in your pockets, you finally headed towards the elevator to leave for the day.

You opened the door to your apartment to be greeted by your dog, Juneau. She was a rescue you adopted a few months back. She still needed to make progress, but she had really warmed up to you and your friends and seemed much more comfortable in her new home. After feeding her dinner and taking her for a short walk, you heated up a quick frozen dinner and sunk into your couch.  Curling up in your blanket, you spent a few minutes browsing through different streaming services only to land on The Office, as usual.  Your mind drifts to what your next few days might consist off. You just so happened to land 4 days off in a row, but you had no idea how you would spend your time. You glanced down at your phone as it lit up.  It was your Uncle Will.

"Hey, whats up!" you chimed, glad to hear from your favorite uncle.

"Hey, (Y/N). I'm actually calling to invite you to a dinner some friends of mine are having tomorrow night. I know your schedule is real busy. But I haven't seen you much since you moved up here to Virginia! I know you haven't met many people here yet, but I think I can help you make a start. "

The kind gesture made you smile. You had always been fairly close with your father's side of the family. He had grown up in Louisiana and met your mother at a college in Texas. You spent your childhood in Houston but frequently visited the Cajun half of your family. Uncle Will had moved away once he fell in love with Jenifer Jareau, his now wife, and you hadn't seem much of him the past few years. But as luck would have it, your nursing career had lead you to a hospital in Fredericksburg, VA. You felt extremely lucky to have family nearby, or else you would have been completely alone. But sometimes you still felt that way, which is why you were so grateful for his offer.

"That actually sounds great! I am off for the next four days, and I didn't really have anything planned. Who will I be meeting at this dinner?"

"Well it's some of JJ's coworkers. They're like a second family to us, and I know they'll be just as welcoming to you. I already told them you moved up here, and they've been begging to meet you."

"Aww I can't wait to see Aunt JJ and my sweet little cousin, Henry! Its been so long since I came to visit you guys. I think Henry was barely two years old the last time I saw him."

"Well we all hope to see you a lot more now that you're here. You're like a daughter to us, Y/N. You are welcome to visit any time you like. I know nursing is a stressful job, and it can take a toll. Its important to have family and friends around you when things get tough." You could hear that this was a genuine offer and you fully planned to take him up on it in the future. Being alone in a new state was taking its toll.

"So where and when should I plan to meet for dinner?"

"I'll text you the address real quick. Everyone is planning to meet around 6. It shouldn't be too far of a drive. It's one of JJ's coworker's houses. David Rossi. He's a real easygoing guy, and he loves cooking for everyone. He loves meeting new people even more, so you should feel right at home!"

"Sounds like a fun time. Thank you again for thinking to invite me. I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Alright boo, talk to you later."

You smiled at the pet name used by the entire Louisiana side of your family. I guess the north had yet to steal his southern roots. You hung up the phone. You finally had plans. It would be nice to talk to someone who wasn't a coworker.  It would also be your first excuse to dress up since moving and starting your new job. Too excited to wait, you jumped up from the couch and began to rifle through your closet for something to wear. You didn't want to be too over or underdressed. You grabbed a black spaghetti strap fit and flare dress and throw it on with some black panty hose, a lightweight maroon cardigan, and some black heels. You snapped a quick photo in the mirror and shoot a text to Aunt JJ.

Y/N: Apparently I'm joining y'all for dinner tomorrow night...is this too much???

Aunt JJ: I heard! I can't wait!

And oh my goodness, no! You look gorgeous! It will be perfect.

Also...Henry is so excited to see you!

You smiled, more confident in your choice. Aunt JJ had great taste. You had only had the chance to meet her in person a couple times, but the two of you had clicked right away and stayed in touch over text and Facetime. Sometimes she felt more like the sister you never had.

Starting to feel the effects of your particularly difficult shift, you start to get ready for bed. You wanted to be well rested for tomorrow. You say goodnight to Juneau and crawl into bed, snuggled under all the blankets. You fall asleep with a smile on your face, with the feeling that things in your life are about to take a turn for the better. You couldn't explain it...but somehow you just knew.

[dreaminae]

We All Need The One Friend.

( Author's Note: My original intention was to write a less angsty version of Spelivia season 3, however with the hiatus things changed. In the next chapter, I jumped to episode 6. It will have the same basis as 'Teenage Love', but including my plotline changes. Anyhow, thanks for reading. Feel free to comment if you have any questions.)

Chapter 4

"You can't avoid that boy forever, Liv. Why not just call things off?" Kia asked curiously. "Even if you can't be with Spence, you should not drag out your dead-end relationship with Asher."

"It's not a dead-end relationship." Liv huffed from her end of the phone, before consuming a spoonful of her fruit cup. "We aren't connecting the same as we did before. That's all."

"Because you ditch his every attempt to spend time alone with you." Kia sassed. "Or do you not remember inviting me to the movies two nights ago as the third wheel on your date."

"What do you want me to do, Ke?" Liv scoffed repeatedly. Her hand slid to the side of her bowl where her blue water bottle stood. The blue pigment concealed the colorless liquor that the bottle contained daily. Sighing at the thought of what breaking up with Asher might lead to, Liv dragged the bottle off the countertop. Bringing the straw to her lips, she downed a small gulp of alcohol.

Her throat burned, but her anxiety lessened from the feeling of the booze numbing her insides. She could hear Kia calling her name repeatedly, but focused on her silent voice playing her head.

"It's not a pill. It's not a pill." She allowed the words to echo through her mind as she had multiple times over the last month and a half.

Breaking from her guilty conscience, Liv responded to Kia. "Sorry, bad signal."

"Girl, you need a new phone." Kia laughed, unaware of what took place in the last few moments on Liv's end of the line. "Anyway, just do what I said."

"I can't break up with Asher." Olivia rationalized. "If I do, I might mess things up between Spencer and Layla. He might get the wrong idea. Then Layla will want to know what's going on." Olivia predicted cautiously. "Nope. Things are better this way."

"Not for you." Kia scowled. "How long are you going to put Layla's happiness before your own."

"I'm not." Layla lied partly. "Layla makes Spencer happy. And if he is happy, then so am I."

The sound of the doorbell cut into the phone conversation.

"Hold on, Ke. Someone is knocking." Liv urged, strolling from the kitchen to the front door.

"Stall this conversation all you want. You and I both know who Spencer wants, and it isn't Layla." Kia snorted. "Not anymore."

"Layla!" Liv shouted, surprised to see the topic of her conversation standing at her front door. "What are you doing here?"

"It's Friday." Layla shrugged, walking into the Baker residence without another word. "We haven't spent much time together since school started. I thought we could hang out today." 

Olivia blinked in a flustered motion, confused by Layla's sudden presence. She'd made a mission out of avoiding the young producer. A close friendship wasn't in the market for the two of them in Olivia's personal opinion.

Every time she spoke to Layla, Olivia felt a ping of jealously over losing Spencer to her. It wasn't like last year either.

Watching Spencer kiss Layla that night in Vegas felt like a knife through the heart to Liv. Forced to see him with Layla every day was emotionally draining. But Liv knew she had no right to be upset.

Spencer told her how he felt, and Liv pushed him away. She ran away from him, sending him back to Layla on a silver platter. She should not resent them for what her actions caused, yet she did. And she hated herself too.

Olivia hated herself for pushing them away since summer ended. She hated herself for pushing them together. She hated herself for being too weak to go for what she wanted. She hated herself for turning to alcohol in times of stress, instead of being strong enough to face her problems. She hated that she let things get this far out of hand.

"Kia, I've gotta go." Liv bid her friend goodbye.

"Think about what I've been saying." Kia encouraged hopefully. "You should be happy too."

She hung up before Liv could argue that she was happy.

"Kia? Spencer's ex-girlfriend Kia?" Layla questioned curiously, wondering when the two girls became so close.

"Yeah, we hung out a lot over summer." Liv detailed vaguely, leaving Spencer out of the picture. "Mostly helping out with volunteer activities around Crenshaw. Plus, she's into that activist stuff that I cover for my podcast." Olivia added, barely scratching the surface with her friendship with Kia.

Truth is, Kia helped Liv a lot over the summer. They related through Liv's PTSD -- caused by the shooting -- because, growing up in Crenshaw, Kia had experience in dealing with the aftershock of shootings. Furthermore, she and Kia shared similar journalistic hobbies that opened Olivia's eyes to what she might want to do after high school. On top of that, Kia was the only person that Olivia confided in about her feelings for Spencer. Olivia trusted Kia, and with everything going on, Liv wasn't handing out trust varily easy these days.

"That's cool. We should all hang out together sometime." Layla spoke, breaking Olivia from her thoughts.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun." Liv shrugged, sensing that offer wouldn't remain on the table for very long. "Umm, so what are you doing here? Not that you can't drop by," Liv fumbled over her wording. "It's just, I thought you'd be busy at the studio."

"Coop and Spencer are in a weird state right now, and I don't want things to get awkward between Coop and me." Layla clarified to Liv.

"Right, so you're hiding out until things blow over?" Liv giggled, rounding the kitchen counter to grab her bottle from beside the area where Layla sat.

"Basically." Layla agreed. "Anyway, it's not like you're busy, right?"

"Asher wanted to have 'us weekend'," Liv answered as an excuse to keep Layla from coming up with any plans. "We haven't had much alone time since he came back."

"Alone time sounds nice." Layla agreed once more, in a similar position with Spencer. Other than their occasional late-night sleepovers, Layla couldn't remember the last time she and Spencer spent time by themselves.

"Yeah, I guess." Olivia sighed, knowing she was the cause of the lack of connection in her relationship.

At the thought of relationships, she couldn't help, but to ask her next question. "What about Spencer?"

Concern for Spencer was second nature to Liv at this point. But Olivia also wondered why Layla was at her house if she desired alone time with Spencer. Surely, Spencer was in the need of comfort if he was fighting with his closest, childhood friend.

Layla couldn't help but to fall quiet for a second in reaction to Olivia's constant concern for Spencer. Liv barely acknowledged her problems with Asher, yet found Spencer's problems of complete interest.

"He went to his family cabin for the weekend." Layla finally allowed herself to respond. "He's going to clear out the last of the boxes, and to clear his head, I suppose," Layla added, unable to give Olivia a full report.

After all, Spencer failed to give Layla a full description of the thoughts rumbling inside his mind. "I offered to go with him, but he insisted that he wanted to be alone, so..." Layla dragged out, unsure what to do.

Liv rolled her eyes at the mention that Spencer insisted upon being alone. He is always prepared to help others, but never asks for help when he needs it. He and Liv were alike in that way. Which was fine, because they had one another to hello out when they were too stupid to ask for it.

"This is the first time Spencer is going to the cabin since his dad died," Olivia stated matter of factly. "He shouldn't be there alone."

Layla cleared her throat, reading into Liv's firm tone. It was evident that despite Layla's position as Spencer's girlfriend, Olivia felt that she comprehended what Spencer needed better than Layla did.

[snowydaffodils]

Underground

1473 words | Seventeen

Warnings: profanities, violence, mentions of character death, crime, and uh, its a mafia au so its dark. A bit angst too, because its uh, there's deaths and casualties. So we gon be sad about that.

a/n: This is a Seventeen Mafia!AU involving all members of Seventeen, including the ex-supposed-members, too. It includes everyone but the ones who appear is Seungcheol, Soonyoung and Jihoon. It's just a simple prompt I've thought of, and maybe would want to make continuous chapters but I'm still not sure. I hope you enjoy this one, though!

---

Seungcheol sighed, looking at the last of what they had for the week. With that much, they could barely survive food for all thirteen of them, much less feed the survivors. He gripped the straps holding his bulletproof vest on him and dumped the heavy armor on the old couch behind him.

"Is this all we have?" Seungcheol didn't mean to raise his voice, but his frustration was hard to contain. Across him, who for once he was away from his computer screen, was Jihoon, who shared his look of concern.

"With a couple more part times from a few members maybe we can have enough for the survivors as well this week," Jihoon sighed. "But for how much longer do we have to do this, Cheol?"

Born from the Underground, it was difficult for them to work normally in society. They have burdens to carry, and while it was their choice to leave their main families and leave the gangs they were part of, it also became their anchor because they were marked as betrayers.

Resources were hard to get because they weren't only blocked from the open society because of their records, blood and pasts, but also because their previous families decided that they would make it hard for them to gain anything in the Underground. Imagine being blocked off even from the black market.

Soonyoung was on the other side of the table, his guns still attached to his body, his full gear still on, he didn't bother taking anything off because the next mission is in half an hour. His face was grim, as he had just came back from a mission. He had just taken captives away from being trafficked by the infamous Kim family and he succeeded his mission perfectly, but not without cost. Minghao was unconscious when they brought him in, which frightened him on the inside, but he couldn't let his concerns be in the way of the mission. He had carried his member back, Junhui on the other side and Chan clearing anything that was in their path, and Soonyoung had the darkest look on his face. As soon as Jeonghan claimed Minghao's vitals were unharmed and that he would leave, Soonyoung breathed relief, took a few seconds to himself, but immediately went back to work as if nothing happened.

They were literally fighting for their ideals and for their own values, but it certainly wasn't easily. Being outnumbered was one problem when it comes to these mafias, but cutting off resources was proving to make them suffer even more. They have been trying to slowly put the other survivors into society, managing their housing, their jobs, and their identities, but it costs a lot and they can only return so few, when the number of people needed saving was only growing.

"We can't keep doing this," Soonyoung breathed out. Soonyoung was the type to bring the happy atmosphere in the room, one of those who just make the world a little brighter. But once he's on edge, he'd just turn and blow up. The casualty of his member and the stress on necessities were more than enough reasons to push him there. "We can't manage, we can't live like this!"

On normal days, Jihoon would've the more rational one, the cool-headed one, but he, too, was on edge.

"What do you suggest we do, huh? Spit your shit, Soonyoung!" Jihoon retorted. Every single one of them was being too sensitive, they knew this. They wouldn't mean the things they'd say, but they needed to blow off steam anyways.

"I don't fucking know, Jihoon!" Soonyoung cried. "Quit being superheroes!? Get a job, blend to society?! Maybe then Minghao can actually lay on an actual hospital bed!"

"You think I don't want that?" Jihoon snapped back. "You think I haven't been trying for the past years, to put all of you into society, put you to proper jobs, give you new clean identities without having to worry about shit?"

"Well it's all for nothing, isn't it?" At this point Soonyoung didn't realize the words he was spouting. "Tell me, what kind of growth have we gone through the years, Jihoon? Seungcheol, what makes this so different than when we first started?!" Jihoon just glared at him, knowing full well Soonyoung was just on rampage mode, and he wasn't thinking, but every word still struck his heart like spears would've. "Well it's not any different!" Soonyoung cried.

"Shut up, both of you!" Seungcheol yelled. "Just," his hands made their way through his head as he tried to clear his mind and he lowered his voice as he spoke. "Shut up. The boys will hear. We can't have all thirteen of us raging at each other. We have missions to do. People to save."

When Seungcheol first gathered them, they were given a choice, just like any other runaways he had met. To join him, or to keep running. He had never once held them back against their choice. When MingMing chose to go back to China, live a normal life, Seungcheol only wished him luck and bid him goodbye after handing him a new passport Jihoon had managed to get. To both Dongjin and Samuel, he had urged to go back to society after they joined for a while. They were too young. They wanted to help, but when Seungcheol saw what trauma Samuel had to deal with, he asked Jihoon to prioritize the two and hand them their ticket back to society. It was easier, too, because they were young, and not much of a gap in their lives to be filled on paper.

"I'm not telling you to leave or stay," Seungcheol had said. "You can choose, but your ticket is right here, and I promise you'll be fine. You won't have to fight anyone ever again, nobody will touch you. We'll all be here for you, no matter what."

Both Dongjin and Samuel bawled, and Seungcheol had hugged them tightly. On weekends, he kept his promise and checked up on them routinely. He'd escape basecamp and watch them from afar. Only Soonyoung and Jihoon knew where he'd disappear after dark hours, as they sometimes joined him, and other times made the excuses for him. Seungcheol was proud of the two, and that was evident everytime he returned from his "lookout" trips. Once, Seungcheol came home with a rare smile on his face, and it was everything the world needed. "I saw Samuel audition in a company today. He's really talented," he had said, his eyes beaming.

At times like these, Soonyoung questioned why he had to lead this life. Why he had to be the responsible one and save everyone else and why he can't just run like any other person. He wanted to be like Samuel, given the clear way out, and Seungcheol would still have his back no matter what. In fact, they all would. Nobody would blame or judge him for it. But damn him and his pride; him and his conscience. The guilt he would've felt had he left just like that - he won't, couldn't, live through it. Not for the people who were just like him, who were unlucky enough to be born in the dark, not to those who were held against their will, victims of the Underground, and certainly not to those who he treated as brothers.

Soonyoung just screamed. He hated feeling so helpless.

"Soonyoung," Seungcheol called, the bags under his eyes became evidence of his tiredness. "Take a break. Have Jun lead close combat. I'll send Hansol to your team. I'll cover his position."

No. He couldn't rest now, not now when one of his members is already hurt. Soonyoung took a deep breath, and sighed. He shouldn't be hot-headed. Not now when they have mission after mission to complete.

"No, I'm sorry. I'll keep my cool. Minghao's down, I can't leave the team," Soonyoung resigned heavily.

"No," Seungcheol said firmly. "Not when you're emotional. If it bothers you, go get Seokmin and have him back your team up, too."

"I'll be calm, I prom-"

"You know very well I can't make decisions based on promises, Soonyoung. That's not how we work here."

The hurt in Seungcheol's eyes were evident, and both Soonyoung and Jihoon knew full well why. Seungcheol diverted his eyes away; he can't bear to see the eyes of his friends, his long time partners, both wallowing in pity to him and to themselves.

"You guard here - that's final. Jihoon, you make sure he stays. Soonyoung, unarm yourself and go get Seokmin."

Seungcheol didn't stay for more arguments. He left after he took back the bulletproof vest he threw on the couch and went to get his team.

Soonyoung cursed in frustrations, and Jihoon just held his head on his hands.

---